#how can a living being be SO SMALL
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Shmol
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#mutual etiquette fascinates me. i unfollow and refollow people i consider good friends all the time#for any number of reasons. which do not impact our friendship. even if the reasons are Your Blog Currently Annoys Me.#so seeing people talk about being trapped in mutuals like a loveless marriage....#i just wanna know how many people ACTUALLY live like this. versus are free#polls#tumblr#tumblr etiquette#u can reblog to increase visibility if u want but theres enough of u following me to get Some small sample size
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Wailing Coffin Hong Lu and Gregor
#hehehehHEHEHEHEH I LOVE THESE SO MUCH#I was listening to nightcore and everything this was so fun [even the renderhell]. I was so excited I even posted WIPs! TWICE!!#I shall now attempt to justify these. these VERY fun to draw designs.#this abno to me represents the contradiction of facing the things that had happened long in the past - for them it'd be their childhoods#the contradiction stems from how leaving it along may cause it to grow and fester - dragging one into it if they try and ignore it to get o#with their lives[leave it be check fail] whilst confronting it directly may cause it to overflow in a way one cannot deal with [ open coffi#check fail]. these two straddle the line for this. not directly confronting and unpacking their issues#whilst at the same time not entirely ignoring them or trying to bury them#given how for both its rather physical - unignorable. it is something to be lived with even if they simply just want to cry out#and thus the wails increase more and more. even eclipsing in turn the original start of the incident [open check win has the only thing in#the coffin be a small beetle] and all the same leaving it be protects them from opening up those wounds and having to face it all again#'it also seems as if they’re thankful for being left as they are'#...but the honest answer as to why these two is the 'red-jeweled beetle' line. jewel for HL and beetle for Greg.#I also wanted him to have a cool arm.#you can disagree w my abno interpretation btw idm#mallet it bc you uh. hammed things shut w it#things like nails into coffins#but that's all I have to say so normal tag time:#fanart#limbus company#gregor lcb#hong lu lcb#🔮🐞#fan E.G.Os
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doodles of my fav sillies
anton belongs to @poicyss
#my brain is a barbie dreamhouse and theyre all just living in it#im especially fond of the second one because my mom used to hold me like that all the time <3#im drawing them a lot lately because im being crushed by the horrors and have to compensate for it somehow#homemade comfort blorbos......#watch me draw anton inconsistently bc i can never decide if i wanna draw him close to how he actually looks#or yassify him and give him soft fluffy hair and kind eyes and defined features. head in my hands#i dont really have a lot of drawing ideas for them bc they dont have like. a canon storyline or anything methinks#its just stuff me and bow toss around and giggle abt thru messages lol. maybe ill draw infant vincent one of these days#i just come up with stuff and draw them doing it. it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside#cuz like anton works for lobocorp as an abnormality BUT hes super duper chill and cute and does his funny little tasks so its fine#AND hes unkillable. auggie is an oc ive had since like 6th grade and i smushed them together. and vincent was for fun but i got attached#i dont have much of a read on anton either bc i think hes meant to be more of an insert character??? if im using that right#on one hand i dont think too hard abt anything being ooc since im not taking it seriously. on the other hand i just hold them in my hands#and stare into space until i can come up with something to draw since i dont have much to go off of. but its fun to build on small tidbits!#i think bow called it an au so i guess??? its an au????? im not really sure. bow if youre reading this im just willy nilly#the only thing i know for sure is that they boink like rabbits. im talking gomez and morticia levels of boinking#maybe ill go back and look at my old doodles for them and redraw em lol#myart#my art#my oc#oc#friend oc#augusta#anton#vincent#sillies family#doodles
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silly mons for a pokemon/warrior cats crossover group thing :]
Shockpaw (any pronouns), a joltik :] When they spin webs, their star particles sometimes get stuck on the webbing. Also, Shockpaw would much rather cling to a larger warrior and take a nap rather than actually participate during dawn patrol lol
Bouncepaw (she/her), a gastly who had been released by her previous trainer (the trainer was not prepared to care for a gastly, but instead of returning her to the breeder, they decided to release her instead...). She likes to play pranks on trespassers, usually by staring ominously at them from a distance >:]
#raintailed's art#pokemon#pokemon oc#my ocs#shockweb (oc)#reference#pokemon/warriors is a really interesting premise from a worldbuilding point of view#there's so much that can be done for this. stuff like uhhh#are mentors usually assigned based on typing? how are mentorships designed to take advantage of the traits of the apprentice's species?#do the clans have a preference for which types their members have?#how do their territories affect the pokemon that live there? (ex. a gastly would avoid living on a windy territory)#and then there's silly interaction possibilities. things like shockpaw *technically* being on dawn patrol but being so small#that they can just nap during patrol and no one will really notice#there's so much potential :eyes: :eyes: :eyes:#bouncecloud (oc)
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sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.
but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.
I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.
(continue in tags)
#dont know why continuing in tags but here is more#sometimes we need to ask “why” and not just get mad about how we feel personally. because other people feel differently#yes im guilty of only thinking my feelings and situation and how it relates too and forgetting other peoples. i also need to learn#and everyone's feelings should be valid. just because something might “hurt” you it might be important for someone else#everyones feelings are valid. but we cant protect everyones feeling. so idk the solution#but stopping someone from having a small positive among a sea of nevgative seems a little mean to me#youre not being empathetic to their side. and i can turn it around and be not empathetic to your side and say stop being upset#and get over it and let people have fun. but i wont. i hear you. but at the same time maybe hear us too.#not everyone wants to live only negatively. youre allowed to but dont expect others to.#and yes i GET IT these things can make the allistics and neurotypicals be even worse towards us. but what do we do?#throw out any positivity we can find and grovel in our struggles because the allistics wont take us seriously?#DO THEY TAKE US SERIOUSLY WITHOUT THOSE SILLY TRENDY THINGS? NO! THEY NEVER HAVE#like i said i dont know the solution and everything still be used against us by those people anyway so might as well have fun?#if we focus on struggles they baby us and dont let us do things and block us from living life#if we focus on positive they dismiss our struggles and try to make us do what we cant and dont help us#we cant win! so its not “the 'tism” or whatever other things people made up that cause them to act this way#they already act that way and wont stop unless we figure out how to teach them! but i dont know how! im just a useless little creature#this is probably controversial and someone will get because i dont agree with their perspective despite respecting it#someome will comment to lecture me even though i get it. i do. but two things can exist at the same time!! idk what to tell you!#autistic#autism#actually autistic#lee rambles#words are hard so dont know if i worded it well or not. probably not#also why take away fun things because another group used it for bad? make them stop the bad not stop the good!#i also might be missing more context. i think is about tiktok using these for bad. tiktok is just bad in general and i refuse to use it#why tiktok dictate and ruin our lives now in general? tiktok is really bad 😂 but that another conversation#no one yell at me and say i dismiss struggles of struggling autistics. maybe you dismiss me needing negative thing to have positive?#not in mood for negative response. will probably cry fhhddhsjdjdjkd#today is real struggle day but if i be little creature i feel better
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#i never really post about my Real Life Stuff on this account anymore but i feel like i must acknowledge the elephant in the room.#especially as a lesbian who lives in one of the most backwards southern states in the country.#the last few days have been an emotional rollercoaster for me. because of politics; because of work; because of a lot of stuff.#i know a lot of you are feeling the same which sucks but also shows we are in this together!#there is so much to be angry about but now more than ever i want to focus on the things i love#i love my family. i love my friends. i love my community. i love you.#i love creating art and consuming it. i love my job for giving me the means to help people even if its in a relatively small capacity.#i love being a lesbian no matter how loud hateful idiots believe they can be.#anyways.#hang in there guys. stay safe. stay connected. isolating yourself is not the answer.#carolcore
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"Willow is a bad character because she's a mary sue" me when I missed the entire point of the show
#scrolling her tag and going insane#side note there is apparent a toh cr1t tag#I will not look at it for annoying takes to make fun off (affirmations)#at least i won't tonight who knows what the future holds#anyway im obsessed bc they were like#'imagine if willow was just a fan character in fanfics you'd all think she was pretty cringe huh'#NUHUH IM NORMAL UR WATCHING THE CRINGE CULTURE TOWARDS HARMLESS THINGS IS STUPID SHOW#also jesus fucking christ do you honestly think that a disabled coded woman of color being a badass is somehow overdone#like the reason ppl criticized MS's in the first place is bc we rlly do not need another white abled girlypop to be the super magical#chosen one and never be in the wrong ever#disabled ppl and woc don't GET that fantasy#also her powers aren't disproportionate to the universe at all#yes she gained a lot of power in two months but she's spent the past several years repressing her very potent magic to mold herself to#other ppls expectations the whole fucking thing is a metaphor for how disabled ppl who now have accomodations/can live their life on their#own terms do much better much faster than people give them credit for#and once again she's really powerful yes but she was for example nothing compared to Darius#she doesn't take on a coven head (though a battle between her and Terra would have been super interesting) and win and she can take care of#1-2 coven scouts on her own but needs support and help from others#if there are more of them#ALSO EVERYONE ELSE GETS MORE POWERFUL ALSO#why isn't Amity a mary sue for going from only making small abominations and needing a training wand to being like the 3rd strongest#abomination magic user? bc shes white?#their main complaint seemed to be that willow demasculated hunter tho#so like#lmao cope. seethe.
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Writers are so talented. Your words are doing things to my mind, showing me ideas and connecting dots... inspiring my brain to connect MORE dots
Pure wizardry. It's scary
#rambles#text#<- burdened by thoughts#im so. ive been obsessed with dadow fics. i stg its so fun to read about#that or characters learning/coming to terms with identity and self.#learning to trust others#i live for that intrapersonal/interpersonal variance and interaction#how do they see themself? what changes that? what doesnt change?#how will they tackle an issue out of their control. or their comfort zone#DISABILITY. How do they manage disability or navigate their world. How does their worldview differ because of it#what does daily life look like for them. what are their dreams/goals/#their aspirations. their worries. can you see their past or mindset in how they love someone. in how they act or protect or cook or care#sorry. im tired and love creativity and seeing the stories we tell and feel need to be told#this is about storytelling in general but spurred on by me being tired and finding comfort in other people sharing experiences thru writing#maybe if i wrote stories instead of mini essays in tags id have a small fic out by now...#anyway dm me or hit me with fic recs i NEED to read
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"Even if the sky cracks in mourning / And the heavens just won't open up for me" A Series of Small Offerings - II/12 - day20
#a series of small offerings#sleep token fanart#elaboration on this piece further down in the tags because this one may confuse people i think#(also please note that i firmly believe that the from the room below version of this song is the superior one)#(so the art was made with that version in mind because that is the version that lives rent free in my brain for reasons)#i've been thinking so much how to approach this one.. i knew pretty much since i've made the challenge that i will go with this line#specifically because i refuse to hear it as the lyrics sites and spotify tells me to hear it (as it appears in the post) but instead#i don't hear the 'the' in any version of the song i'm sorry that is just not there#so i'm convinced it is 'as the sky cracks in mourning'#(sky cracking-lightning;sky mourning-rain)#which is also exactly how the song feels to me#being a sad wet cat of a person standing bare feet in a strom and just crying 'why i was i so blind to my own hubris'#specifically in relation of finally (and far too late) understanding you fucked up a relationship so bad it still hurts years after#if you've ever felt anything remotely similar you know what i'm talking about#and you get why i refuse it being 'in the morning' instead of 'in mourning'#vessel i#vessel#vessel sleep token#vessel fanart#sleep token band#sleeptoken#levynn tries to draw#sleep token#edit: i don't mean to offend those who stand behind the line being 'in the morning' btw i just don't hear it#and i don't think i'm correct. i'm correct for me. not in your stead. half the lyrics can be heard at least two ways#edit2: appearently i'm actually right about something for a change.. a truly unusual turn of events#see comments for referrence pls#also edited this post to the correct lyrics#but leaving the tags for context 'cause thw original version of the post has been rb-d before editing i think
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one of my fave things about teaching is that I’m NOT a counselor and I don’t have to get into the weeds with a student but also I’m part of their life every day and i see when they’re struggling and I can ask how them how they’re doing and make sure that they know I see them on a steady, daily basis and it will be healing for both of us
#I teach a student who hit a wall a few weeks ago and just refused to go to school and was just all around struggling with his mental health#and this is not a kid who wants to talk to me about it or would even know how and I also know he has people where he can#But I’ve just tried to make sure that There’s a little extra contact and a few more questions and just a little bit more#and obviously I am not the cause of his doing better but overall I know that it helps#while still being such a subtle and ordinary human exchange that doesn’t force either of us to go to extreme lengths#like man I really LOVE that space and living in it#and just being a (hopefully) stable place for the kids to be seen in a small but consistent way#teaching tag#something about holding them in the safety of manners while also modeling what that looks like for them#it’s so gratifying to me and it helps me too!#like yes we should greet each other! We should ask how we’re doing! we should exchange pleasantries#and it’s important to me that that happens without getting personal sometimes or overly involved#pleasantries don’t have to be cold things and you can be seen and validated by a momentary kind glance as much as by someone digging#into your soul#it can be light and life-giving at the same time#it can be fun!#I’m sorry I’m rambling and over-saying this but it’s Saturday#!!!!!!
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My new hobby is skimming through seasons of Ninj//ago to induce a fever dream like state in my psychese
#I've always had kinda like....petty beef with ninj//ago just cause like. EVERYONE compares it to monkie kid#When they r just not comparable beyond the surface level observation that its legos#Like ninj//ago contributes to the idea of an Asian monolith and uh. It's annoying to me.#It's also so thematically empty and they just reset shit whenever and it barely has characters. It's not good#Which makes me feel crazy when lmk is SO good. Like so so so good#Let it be known I've seen all that's out of drag//on rising#the first 3 seasons of the og show. And I skimmed through possession seabound and both crystal king parts#Gotta say. Sea Nya slaps like what the hell#Ninj//ago isn't good but that was legitimately like. Awesome#So there are officially 1 and a half episodes that I find thematically banging#I'm always a sucker for there being no good choice but still having to choose. Like I am. What decision can you live with#But Nya losing herself to the Sea? Losing her own breath and inhaling the sea to remove the water out of Jay's lungs?#The fact that she only became the water ninja because her friends needed her which eventually pushed her into this fate#Making it so she couldn't remember who she was or what her loved ones meant to her?#Her convo with nyad was like#duuddeeeeeeeeeee. brooooooo#Like she became eternal and endless. A force of nature but there was still a small part of her that remembered what ''good'' is#The part of her that would save a sailor who had gone overboard even if it went against the natural course of the ocean#Because there is no right or wrong there. Except in the small drop of Nya that was left#Like what the FUCK that's CRAZYYY BRO#Like she literally had to pull herself out of herself (the sea) to keep ''Nya'' together like. oh my god. How the cookie crumbles I guess#ninjago critical#anyways I've been losing my mind about Sea Nya and how nothing else in ninja//go is like it I needed to get it off my chest#sea nya
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something i love discussing with others is the different ways people experience kin bc its so interesting the vastness of how everyones personal experiences with it can be. i really dont get people that will be like "kin is only ever LIKE THIS! everyone else is fake!" or trying to act like people with kin past lives (or anyone that "takes kinning too seriously") are crazy. like just!!! how do yall not enjoy the vast and unique experiences of other people!! how do they not fascinate you!!! its INSANE to me
#that being said i dont interact in kin spaces very heavily after i left this one large kin discord server#while i dont miss that (drained too much energy + too many chances for drama)#(or general issues just from kin being so personal and thus discomfort when peoples canons have things that clash with others canons)#but i do kinda miss seeing more about how other people experience kin stuff#and discussing what its like for me more often#also i see sometimes people criticizing the terminology people sometimes use about kinning?#even like the term ''kinning'' bc ppl will say ''its not an action you do!''#and they treat it like people that use terms like that are the kind that kin “wrong'' and act like kin is just ''i relate to this character#but like. kin IS very important and significant for me!#i may not know the exact details of HOW i kin- like theyre not past lives for me but i still AM the characters#i have kin memories sometimes but they dont feel like past lives#n kin itself is very important to me- but trying to figure out what exactly it is if its not past lives isnt important#like idk the functionality of it i just feel it. and acknowledge the feelings. you know#and i just learned kin stuff through people who are more casual with the concept and the terminology used#n just. idk. im tired rambling.#i love how differently everyone can kin regardless of how big or small it is for them or the ways they experience it#i think we should appreciate other ppls different experiences more
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thank god for indie devs making like tiny little maximum 10 megabyte freeware games on itchio keeping the art of filesize optimization alive. ASSET REUSE FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#im watching a video about wario land music -> 'the bizarre music and sound design of wario land 4' by geno7#good video so far! i like this guys stuff. he talked a bit about how they did some of the sound effects for warios voice#a very like. chopped and remixed sample style of doing his vocal lines. which is very cool 1) because it saves a bit of#precious space on that gba cartridge BUT ALSO 2) it just sounds cool and interesting stylistically#and man sometimes trying to keep a file size down really does give way for some really interesting stuff#on my own personal interests in games i ADORE rpg makers rtp and how people can find creative uses for it#i love that a bunch of games can draw from the same asset pool as one install on ur computer#no bloating your hardrive with a bunch of copies of the same assets - its just already here!#and from a developers perspective i love when they reuse old assets from other games in new weird ways#some small visual novel companies will reuse backgrounds and other assets#altho i dont mind a bit of bloat with VNs since a big draw can be the big pretty images and big pretty sounds#but its still cool when people find ways to get creative with space saving. and from a players perspective its also nice#space is cheap nowadays. but its not Free. we can swallow terabytes whole with micro sds and everything#but a lot of players dont get the chance or ability to upgrade their internal memory that often. so i think being considerate of filesize i#very important. and thats not even getting into the download bandwidth limits - a lot of people all across north america can only get like#internet from 1 provider and that 1 provider often likes to upcharge and limit shit because they can#we might live in a future where a lot of powerful technology exists. but access to that tech is another story#so remember the filesize. remember the filesize.#dies in your arms
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I think Do Han is a really interesting character because he walks the line between selfish x assertive
I saw some people arguing the he is selfish because he left Ji Han behind and went to the US. Plus he made the contract with A Jeong even when it can fuck up her life. But I never considered this selfish acts but assertive ones? It is his life and he is living a toxic family dynamics. Yeah, it sucks that JH is in this situation but the fact is that he still also has the option to leave? DH does not want this life while JH wants it. Neither of them should shackle each other. The same way DH is not dragging JH out, JH should also not drag DH back. He should not live a lie for something he does not want. Plus with AJ it was a contract, he explained the risk to her until the point he knew but in the end this is a choice they made together.
Now, he is gonna have to make a choice when he finds out about DH and AJ being in love. Since this is a romance I believe eventually he will choose to give up on his fake marriage for their sake. However, if he choose to keep the fake marriage it will be a selfish act because this is something that he has direct control over. In this case he would be the one making both of them living a lie, over something that ultimately his happiness does not depend on? I mean, yeah the fake marriage is a solution he found. But since the beginning it was temporary and there are other paths he can take, are they harder? Yes. But they don't come at the cost of two people he deeply cares about.
And idk how to explain how this things are different between each other. But I guess it is a dilemma we queer people face a lot? Some of us back up from our families that is causing us pain but also we still want to be there with everything we love them. This is such a hard balance to fight and I don't think it is exclusive to queer people but is definitely a big part of our experience.
#wedding impossible#idk if i made sense?#sorry English not my first language#anyway i think i do see myself in this struggle because i love my family so much#and i know how much it will hurt my mom when i come out?#and this is also part that i do live far away from them even if just a small part#and i am bi so i always wonder if i am being selfish because i could just ignore the part of me that likes girls for the sake of my family?#but doing so is lying to myself and bringing me pain#there is no way i can do that
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Hi Sada! I saw your nasty anon and I thought i’d balance the hate with some love: you’re my favorite blog on Tumblr! I always look to see if you posted and I love reading your thoughts on things! Lots of love xx
🫶🏻 thank you so much!!!! I’m glad to know I entertain the majority of you!! I’m just here for a laugh and to enjoy myself and if other people like it all the better 🥰
#I’m lucky in the fact I have an absolutely incredible support system#so nasty anons like that never bother me#I’m more offended at how ableist they can be and the fear they spew that kind of shit out to people irl#like I’ve been bullied for reasons I can’t fathom since I was a small child#(the classic undiagnosed autism afab experience of people FEELING you were different and hating you)#so for me anon hate is just…. par the course for real life#(excited for more anons to dogpile on me but whatever)#my intention with being casually open about my mental health is that someone who might need to hear it#hears how my life is#and hears what my experiences are and feels validated#and not alone#might seem silly but I used to be a younger person in a fandom#and seeing people in their 30s still in fandom#talking about their life#made me realize that it’s not all bad and that things can be okay#IDK THESE TAGS ARE RAMBLY NOW BUT WHATEVER#I’m just trying to have fun and I hope anyone who needs to know it’s okay to live differently can see I’m having a blast
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