#how are we at the center of everything when we didn’t do shit. why do u think it’s okay to exploit blk women like this
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zouisalmightie · 23 days ago
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sometimes i am put in situations that only could happen on tv but you can’t make this up
sonon wednesday my coworker called me during my prep period and was like hey can you come to my room really quick. and that’s normal like 1 im department lead so if they need something i told them to hmu and i got them 2. we’re friends so if you have to pee well fall each other to cover. so im like yeah sure what do you need. and this bitch goes [name of student i hate] keeps saying the n word with the hard er and i bet him he wouldn’t say that to a black persons face so can you come to my room to prove a point’ and she’s like laughing as she says this. with her whole class there like it’s some sort of joke; when she’s acting like she’s shaming this child. and like…. what the actual fuck. mind you, this kids that i hate HAS called me the n word with the hard er before my coworker KNOWS this because we all went out drinking afterward and i cried cuz i was so angry. so I was like what the fuck no and hung up on her. then like 30 mins later she texts me and says “that was such a silly call! i didn’t actually expect you to come lmaoooo. i just like to fluster them when they do things like that” and i didn’t respond and haven’t spoken to her since.
and we are in a bunch of group chats so i left the chats that aren’t work specific and blocked her number and blocked her on ig. and i don’t say anything to anyone at work cuz im grown and i can stop being friends with people without making it an announcement. and so today she texts one of our other coworkers that ive been friends with for almost 5 years now, like omg have you talked to asyah i think she blocked me on ig and idk what i could have done to deserve this it just makes me so sad cuz ive had people just stop being my friend for no reason before and i have abandonment issues please ask her if i did anything wrong. and so my friend came up to me like girl wtf and so i told her what happened and my friend was like this is the last straw for me she’s been saying fucked up shit for a while and i didn’t want to rock the boat but im tired of her.
and then my coworker texted one of my OTHER work friends like omg woe is me everyone is being so mean to me cue white woman tears™️ and im like…. i would have NEVER asked you to be in a position like this. when students do antisemitic things i stop that shit right then and there and never tell you about it because that’s harmful to you! and i thought we were friends i would never put you in a place of harm but you have the nerve to call me and ask me if i want a child to call me a nigger to my face? you laugh while you say it, then send me some fucked up not apology and then when im not fucking with your ass you drag my friends into your pity party? bitch fucking CHOKE.
i was just going to ignore her and leave it as it is but now she’s trying to play the victim like im the one in the wrong here. like im so mad! ive been mad since my homegirl came and told me what she texted her. im going to go to my union rep and let her know what happened too before this girl tries to tell the whole school im bullying her no one would believe her cuz ive been there for 6 years and have no problems with no one but i don’t like people being in my business and would rather get ahead of this but my GOD.
#like you aren’t deserved any explaining if you cannot understand the harm you did im not going to explain it to you#im one of 3 black people fhat work at that school and ive told you how much it bothers me when the nonblack kids#just throw nigga around and you have the audacity to ask me if I want to hear a child say nigger?? like how is that even a punishment to the#child? you ask would you want your mom to hear you say that would you say that in front of your grandma etc#if we are trying to show them that they shouldn’t be saying words that’s what I do when they cuss#not call up one of the few people on campus that have had that word used as a weapon against them if they’d like a 12 year old to call them#that to their face like what the actual fuck#im so MAD ive been mad for 3 days now and now another coworker texted me like what’s#going on with you and alyssa she said you blocked her like???? girl what#why are you asking the whole damns school why I blocked you why are you trying to center yourself when you can clearly see the last time#I spoke to you was when you said what the fuck you said like she brags about how she has a degree in women gender and ethnic studies#but girl throw that paper away cuz you didn’t learn shit#in which I rant#I feel better now that last text was gonna have he calling her phone and calling her everything but a child of god#cannot let these people take me out of my character#these people being my coworkers like sick and also tired!
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scarletanpan · 7 months ago
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Not even 24 hrs later drake dropped a diss letting everyone know he thinks the assault of a black woman is worth making fun of for a quick dig.. I want this man to choke honestly
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waterhousse · 7 months ago
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I Saw Her For the First Time
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I saw her for the first time, and I was lonely for the last time
Pairing: modern!ellie williams x reader
Summary: you’re practically the girl of her dreams. it’s a shame her friend saw you first.
Author’s note: HELLO i’m back at it again with pure fluff. i didn’t know exactly how to label this one so i just put modern ellie but it has a little bit of guitarist ellie and also nerdy ellie. hope you like it !
Photo creds: elliesxgun and vamp4r3 on pinterest :)
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I stand with Palestine, you should too.
Boycott TLOU | Useful links | DAILY CLICK | Educate yourself
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• • • •
ellie was absentmindedly playing a made-up melody on her guitar, softly strumming away as she listened to the conversation her friends were having. lisa, her roomate and vocalist of her band, was telling everyone about the new girl she had been talking to. it was the first time she heard your name.
"she's hot,” was dina's final veredict once she was done scrolling through your profile. she passed the phone to jesse, who immediately agreed.
“i know. she’s really cool and funny but she’s really into comics and fantasy movies and i don’t know shit about that.”
"so, she's a nerd."
"basically, but a pretty one. it’s just that ninety percent of the time i don't know what the hell she's talking about." lisa's complaint was followed by a tired sigh as she threw her head back on the couch. then, she looked to her side, where ellie was. "she reminds me of you, actually."
she instantly frowned, "are you calling me a nerd?"
“i mean…” jesse trailed off before dodging the water bottle ellie threw at him.
"you like all those things, right? maybe you could help me with her."
"help you how, exactly?"
"well, i kinda already told her i like all of what she mentioned so whenever that comes up you'll take over and say whatever makes me look cool."
"what's in it for me?"
ellie sat emotionless as her friend began listing everything she could do for her in exchange for her help, such as deep cleaning the apartment or buying her favorite snacks every day.
she let out a low whistle, “someone's desperate.”
“dude—”
“why can’t you just talk to her about something else?”
“because i already told her i liked all of that stuff! keep up.” lisa rolled her eyes. “tell me if it’s not worth it.” she quickly typed in your instagram username and passed the phone to her.
ellie’s eyes almost widened at the sight of you, but she managed to mask her reaction just in time. she silently scrolled down your instagram profile, clicking on the posts that caught her attention the most.
"so, what do you think?"
"uh, she's alright."
you were more than alright.
"you have such high standards,” dina huffed.
yes, and you apparently met them all.
lisa snatched the phone back from her hands as the group began discussing a new topic; ellie’s picky taste in women, even when they practically threw themselves at her. it had been a while since her friends last saw her on a date or even having a crush.
ellie threw her head back with a groan as she stood up from the couch, “are you going to keep talking about me or are we gonna rehearse?”
their band was a regular on friday nights at one of their town’s most popular bars. over the time they had been playing there, they had gathered an audience of people that went to see them. ellie would hate to disappoint them, or maybe she just hated when the conversation was centered around her.
“i think we’re gonna keep talking about you,” dina joked as she picked up her bass.
once rehearsal was over, lisa practically ran to her phone to check if she had any new messages from you. apparently, she had asked to go on a date next week and you had said yes.
“you’re gonna to have to teach me everything you know,” lisa mumbled to ellie with her eyes glued to the phone as she quickly typed her reply to you.
“great, just how i wanted to spend my free time.”
even though ellie had no real interest in doing that favor to her friend, she stuck to her word. whenever the “nerdy topics”, has lisa had called them, came up, she took over the conversation. that part of the plan wasn’t awful, in fact, ellie secretly enjoyed the moments she got to talk to you, but she had to keep reminding herself that you weren’t actually talking to her, but lisa.
it had been a confusing last couple of days.
“just try to not let those topics come up in the conversation and if they do, just agree with everything she says,” ellie advised lisa, because not even her intensive teaching could help the poor girl to memorize anything. “re-read the conversations i had with her. that could work. especially the one we're having right now."
“you’re trying to sound like me, right?”
“sure, i’m making some spelling mistakes and everything.”
“fuck you,” lisa laughed from the bathroom. “alright, tell her i’m on my way.”
“remember to read the last few messages in case she brings them up.”
“thanks, el. see you later!” and with that, she was out of their shared apartment.
ellie sighed, dramatically plopping down on the couch. she swept her gaze over the living room in hopes to find something to do to keep her mind occupied, but nothing seemed appealing enough. she used her phone for a bit, but she couldn’t fully concentrate on what she was seeing.
after tossing and turning for a while, she ended up falling asleep. it wasn’t until two hours later she was suddenly woken up by lisa’s voice mixed with somebody else’s. the sound of the door shutting closed was what made her fully open her eyes, instantly setting them on the two people that had just entered the apartment.
“sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up,” lisa apologized, but ellie didn’t even acknowledge her. instead, she looked past her friend to the person behind her.
you were standing there, an apologetic and slightly embarrassed look on your face. “i didn’t mean to intrude, i’m sorry.”
ellie sat up straight, her fingers combing through her short hair in an attempt to make herself more presentable. “it’s fine, don’t worry.”
an adorable smile formed on your lips, “you’re ellie, right?”
you didn’t wait for her confirmation and proceeded to introduce yourself while she thought about how crazy it was that you didn’t know how many times you two had already spoken.
ellie remained silent, watching you smile shyly at her. then, she realized she hadn’t said anything in a while and it was probably really weird. “it— it’s really nice to meet you.”
“i’m going to the bathroom, i’ll be right back,” lisa said before gesturing you to take a seat on the couch.
hesitantly, you sat down next to ellie. there was another moment of silence in which you looked at her with uncertainty, fearing she might be uncomfortable with your presence. you didn’t know if it’d be best for you to talk to her or to just wait for lisa to come back, not wanting things to get even more awkward.
when ellie returned one of your quick glances, you decided to say something.
“sorry about coming here without letting you know first. i can’t go home yet, my roommate has a guy over,” you admitted with a grimace.
ellie nodded, laughing softly at the reason you were there. “i don’t mind, really.”
“thanks, anyway,” you grinned.
“so, how’d the date go?”
“uh, good.” your answer wasn’t completely honest, ellie could tell. she narrowed your eyes at you, not wanting to pry but at the same time dying to know.
“are you sure about that?”
“you’re her friend, i can’t gossip about her with you.”
“we’re actually not that close.”
you playfully bumped your shoulder into hers before your eyes set on her for a few seconds. she tilted her head as she returned your gaze, silently trying to convince you to talk.
“i don’t know if you’re very persuasive or if i’m just too weak.”
ellie’s smile widened as you sighed, giving in.
“i had a great time,” you began, searching for the right words to say, “but we didn’t hit it off as well as we did through text.”
“that’s weird.” her mumbled words were followed by an awkward chuckle.
“yeah, i know. don’t get me wrong, though, she’s great, but it felt like i was hanging out with a friend. that spark, i guess, you hope to feel on a first date just wasn’t there.”
ellie nodded as she took your words in. “i’m sorry it didn’t work out.”
“oh, it’s fine. we talked about it on the way here. it’s all good. actually, she invited me to see you guys play on friday. you’re the guitarist, right?”
“yeah,” ellie smiled proudly, sitting more comfortably on the couch. “we’re really good. well, you’ll see for yourself. don’t wanna get your expectations too high.”
“it might be a little too late for that,” you replied just as lisa came back.
there was a smile on her lips, she had managed to hear the last bit of the conversation. “we’re great, actually.”
you hummed, “we’ll see.”
“hey, want me to show you the records i was telling you about?”
“can you tell me where the bathroom is, first?”
“sure, it’s the door at the end of the hallway. come to my room afterwards.”
“got it.” you nodded as you stood up from the couch, ellie’s curious eyes following you.
she looked away just in time, because lisa’s gaze fell upon her the moment you were out of sight. “what do you think?”
“she’s cool. plus, she friendzoned you so i gotta give her more points for that.”
“she did not friendzone me!” she protested in a hushed voice. “we friendzoned each other, it was a mutual decision.”
“sure, lis, whatever you say.” ellie went to her room immediately after that, not giving her a chance to defend herself.
she was feeling strangely happy about the outcome of lisa’s date. her friend had always been a player, taking advantage of her ‘rockstar’ status. ellie had done that, too, but lisa loved to be involved with multiple people at the same time. with the short interactions ellie had shared with you, she knew you deserved better than that.
ellie opened her bedroom door as she hummed a melody, not expecting to have company. you were by her bed, closely inspecting one of her action figures. she stood under the doorframe, momentarily frozen at the sight. then, a soft chuckle escaped her lips, alerting you of her presence.
“i’ve been meaning to get this for a while—” you began saying, stopping yourself mid-sentence once you looked up and realized that it was ellie the one standing there and not lisa. “oh, hey. what’s up?”
ellie just smiled as she made her way to her bed under your confused stare. “nothing much,” ellie casually replied as she threw herself on the bed. “just love the comfort of my room, y’know?”
your eyebrows rose slightly, immediately leaving the action figure where you found it, “your room? i’m sorry! there were stickers on the door of lisa’s favorite characters—”
ellie laughed as you kept apologizing. she propped herself onto her elbows, waiting for you to be done with your rambling.
“i promise i didn’t touch anything else.”
“it’s okay, i don’t mind,” ellie answered with a half-smile.
“so, this stuff is all yours?” you asked, sweeping your gaze around the room. it was decorated with a bunch of fantasy movies posters and, on the shelves, there were different book collections as well as many other action figures of, coincidentally, most of your favorite characters.
“uh, yeah.”
“i see…” you hummed before your eyes met hers again.
ellie swallowed hard, her confidence quickly fading away. “lisa and i have practically the same taste,” she was quick to explain, hoping you wouldn’t catch the pathetic quiver on her voice.
“right… okay, i’ll see you friday, then?”
“yeah, see you friday.”
you gave her one last smile before stepping out of her room. it wasn’t until she was alone that she became aware of her racing heart. she laid back on the bed, bringing her hands to her face as she let out a heavy sigh.
that night, ellie fell asleep trying to convince herself that you hadn’t figured out she was behind some of lisa’s texts, that you hadn’t been capable of reading her that well after that short conversation.
ellie woke up the next day ready to avoid thinking about the issue as much as she could, but the universe seemed to conspire against her.
the band was having a break from rehearsal, each of them sprawled around jesse’s garage. ellie had taken her friend’s place behind the drums, absentmindedly playing a beat that faltered when dina brought up your name in a conversation she wasn’t even participating in.
“she’s coming to see us play even after you fucked up the date? woah, maybe i underestimated you.”
“i didn’t fuck up the date.” lisa rolled her eyes.
ellie snickered from her place, “then why were you back at the apartment at, like, 10 p.m?”
“whatever. we both decided it was best for us to stay as friends.”
“i believe you, don’t worry.” jesse gave her a pat on her back before mouthing ‘i don’t’ to ellie and dina, who secretly laughed. “okay, ladies, let’s get back to work. we don’t wanna make ourselves look bad infront of lisa’s new friend, right?”
“yeah, she’s got pretty high expectations,” ellie mentioned as she picked up her guitar. the smile on her face didn’t go unnoticed by her friends.
“you talked to her?”
she looked up at dina’s question, who was staring at her, intrigued. ellie frowned, her guitar pick between her teeth as she tied her hair up in a short, low ponytail.
“yeah, why? i’m not some antisocial freak, y’know?”
“every time i take someone home you lock yourself in your room until they leave,” lisa snorted.
“this time i was caught by surprise. i wasn’t expecting you to come back so early,” ellie chuckled at the last part.
“fuck you, ellie,” lisa complained. “y’know what? let’s just get this over with before i stick this microphone up your—”
“okay, fine, fine. calm down.”
rehearsal went by smoothly with the four of them behaving as profesional as they could, sometimes jesse went off beat to annoy them or ellie would zone out in the middle of a song. still, they had mastered their set and they were definitely ready to play, but there was a deep, strange feeling inside ellie.
it took her a while to figure out she was nervous about the upcoming show. it had been a while since that happened to her, so it was extremely weird for her. the anxiety stayed with her until the following day, and it had actually gotten worse.
ellie ended up going on stage with that horrible feeling still present in the pit of her stomach. she tried to remind herself that it was just another show but, at the same, she knew it wasn’t. knowing you’d be in the audience had definitely affected her, but she didn’t want to look further into what that could possibly mean.
maybe she didn’t come, the thought came to mind in an attempt of calming herself down. perhaps if she repeated it enough she’d fool herself into thinking it was actually true.
she was obviously wrong.
you were there, tapping your fingers against the drink you had ordered. just as you were taking a sip, the lights dimmed and the loud chatter became whispering voices that were soon interrupted by the sound of a guitar.
four spotlights shone brightly on the band and you quickly recognized the other two members you had yet to meet. dina on the bass and jesse on the drums. lisa was at the front, she moved confidently on stage, but your eyes inevitably fell on the girl behind her.
ellie was bobbing her head to the beat of the song, eyes glued to the floor. your mouth opened slightly at the sight, it was hypnotic seeing her play. you inhaled deeply, unable to tear your gaze away from her.
it wasn’t until the ending of the second song ellie first looked up. it was only a quick glance at the crowd, but her eyes coincidentally landed on you, making her do a quick double-take. her eyebrows rose, not expecting to find you so soon.
ellie unconsciously licked her lips as she took you in, trying her best not to mess up the song. she forced herself to look away from you and swept her gaze around the place, searching for anything else to focus on. it was in that moment when a girl waving frenetically at her from the side of the stage caught her eye. she was a regular, friday after friday she’d tried to make ellie look at her for more than five seconds but she never succeeded.
your eyes hadn’t left her, so you had been watching the interaction with immense curiosity. you tried to see who that other girl was, but you lost sight of her. when you looked back at ellie, you met her eyes again. there was an amused, teasing grin on her face, which made you laugh.
ellie played the rest of the set practically on autopilot, because she had her full attention on you. to her, you were the only person on the audience. she was performing for you, proudly showing off her skills and with her nerves long forgotten.
your experience wasn’t much different than hers. to you, ellie was the only member in the band worth watching. not that the others were bad or anything of the sort, but there was just something about ellie that made it hard for you to look away. she was too entrancing. the slight smirk she had while playing, the way her hands looked and the prolonged eye contact that she broke from time to time only to close her eyes and get lost in what she was playing.
your world went silent once they got off stage, even though the sound of the people talking around you was incredibly loud. with your head still buzzing, you decided it was best for you to go outside to get some air.
you didn’t mind how cold the night was. you stayed there for what it seemed to be an eternity, getting too caught up in your own mind to realize it had only been a couple of minutes.
your peace was interrupted with the sound of a notification. it was lisa, asking you where you were. outside, you replied and waited for her to come out.
you didn’t expect her showing up with the rest of the band.
lisa was the first to appear in front of you, the huge smile on her face as she went to hug you caused a smile of your own to form. dina and jesse were next, greeting you with nods of acknowledgment and friendly smiles.
“hey! what’d you think?”
“you guys were great!” the compliment left your lips just as your eyes settled on the person who had stayed behind. “hey, ellie.”
her head shot up at the mention of her name, seemingly surprised you had chosen to address her. “hi,” she said before quickly looking away.
before you had the chance to read into ellie’s awkward response, lisa spoke up, drifting your attention away from the guitarist.
“wanna come to our place? it’s movie night.”
the invitation was definitely tempting, but you weren’t sure if dina and jesse would be okay with it. even ellie could be opposed to it, judging by the way her eyes appeared tone avoiding you at all costs.
“uh, i mean, if you guys are okay with me being there—”
“of course we are, c’mon,” jesse immediately replied, placing an arm around your shoulders. “now, tell me all about how you friendzoned lisa…”
you chuckled lightly as you let him guide you to the car, briefly glancing over your shoulder hoping to meet ellie’s eyes. she didn’t look at you once, which made a feeling of uncertainty creep up onto you.
dina, jesse and lisa were the ones who talked the most during the ride. their lighthearted conversation helped to put yours’ and ellie’s racing minds at ease, at least for a bit.
you were still wondering why ellie was avoiding you so blatantly. you were so incredibly caught up in your own thoughts that you failed to notice the pair of green eyes that were watching you through the rear view mirror.
from her place on the copilot seat, ellie’s gaze flickered from you to lisa before looking back ahead.
she could easily ignore you, right?
once you arrived af the apartment, everyone quickly settled on the couches and browsed different streaming sites in search of a movie to watch and criticize.
“this looks shitty enough, what do you guys think?”
“i already watched that,” ellie spoke up for the first time since you were there.
“you have to much free time on your hands, el. i’m sure not even the actors in it watched it.”
the (already poorly done) plan of trying to act normal in your presence quickly fell apart when the sound of your laugh made her look at you and, oh, how she wished she hadn’t.
“i’ve watched it, too. it is pretty shitty, by the way,” you said, not noticing her stare.
ellie’s lips slightly parted as she looked at yours. the same feeling that had taken over her on stage came back to her and she found herself unable to tear her eyes away from you.
god, she was fucked.
“ellie, go bring some blankets and pillows,” lisa told her from the comfort of the biggest couch, waking her up from her trance.
“why don’t you go?”
“i’m too tired.”
“i can help, if you want,” you offered, your eyes meeting hers for the first time since your awkward interaction outside the bar.
ellie was going to tell you that you didn’t have to, but she accepted your help before her mind could catch up with her mouth. you silently followed her to her room. it was the biggest one, so, therefore, she had the biggest closet where they stored a lot of stuff, including extra blankets and pillows.
“here you go, this is the warmest one.” ellie handed you a blanket. “if lisa tries to take it from you, just tell her to fuck off.”
you chuckled, “got it.”
you took the liberty to look around as she searched for the rest of them. her room was definitely a glimpse of who ellie was, you instantly could tell she was an artsy person combined with a nerdy side. various sketches were laying on her desk, as well as books about astronomy and many, many books about dinosaurs. she had a pile of them stacked on her nightstand.
you walked towards them, leaving the blanket on top of her bed.
“you like dinosaurs?”
well, she couldn’t ignore you when you were alone. that would be just plain rude.
“everybody likes dinosaurs,” she replied, standing on her tiptoes to reach the last pillow. she didn’t know why she had put them so high.
“to this amount?” you picked one of the books and glanced through the pages. ‘The Great Dinosaur Debate’, it read on the cover.
ellie walked over to you, “is it my fault that they’re interesting?”
you looked up from the book, a playful grin on your lips, “you’re a nerd.”
“look who’s talking.”
“how would you know if i’m a nerd?”
“lisa talks.” and we have, too, actually. several times, she completed the sentence inwardly.
you rolled your eyes, “at least i don’t pretend to be cool on stage.”
“i’m not pretending, i am cool. the best of both worlds, right?” she gloated with an arrogant smile.
you left the book back on the pile and grabbed another one, “you know, i’ve always wanted to learn more about dinosaurs. maybe learn from someone who knows a lot would be nice,” you casually mentioned, hoping ellie would take the hint.
“oh, i have a lot of books i could lend you. these guys know everything.”
she didn’t.
you tilted your head to the side, unable to erase the smile off your face. it was difficult to believe the ellie standing in front you was the same ellie who was on stage an hour ago.
“sure, i’d love that.” with that, you grabbed the blanket ellie had given you and a bunch of pillows and went back to the living room. ellie followed you closely, throwing each of her friends a blanket.
they had finally decided on a movie, so once you and ellie were back they pressed play.
it was a cheap movie about the end of the world and the actors were almost as bad as the special effects. ellie would‘ve found it hilarious if she had been able to focus on it.
you were sitting on the floor with your back against the couch, wrapped up in the blanket she had given you. from where she was, ellie had a perfect view of your side-profile and, even though she felt like a creep, she couldn’t help her gaze from falling on you. especially when you laughed at her friend’s jokes or chimed in with one of your one.
it was practically torture.
once the movie ended, she felt like she could finally breathe again. dina turned the lights back on and, naturally, the first thing ellie did was look at you. it surprised her to find that you were already looking at her.
“i thought you had fallen asleep. you didn’t talk once.”
“i was just too caught up in the movie.” she averted her gaze from you to her shoes, knowing damn well she couldn’t tell you what the hell the movie was about.
unaware of her white lie, you nodded as you continued folding the blankets everyone had left on the couch. “want me to help you take these back to your room?”
“uh, yeah— yes. sure, let’s go,” ellie pathetically tripped over her words before leading the way.
you followed closely, your mouth curving into a small smile at her answer.
silence enveloped the two of you when you entered her bedroom for the second time. you handed her the neatly folded blankets and watched as she stored them.
“i didn’t get a chance to tell you how well you played tonight,” you spoke up, making her glance back at you for a second.
“you think?” she smiled before putting away the last blanket.
you hummed, “couldn’t keep my eyes off you.”
ellie’s heart skipped a beat at the memory of your eyes following her every move. it was a miracle she had her back facing you and you didn’t witness the way an obvious flush spread across her face. “i take it i exceeded your expectations, then?”
“yeah, absolutely.”
sending you a coy smile, she clasped her hands together behind her back. “told you so,” she said as she walked past you.
you went back to the living room, where you found the rest of the group vivaciously talking about something that, apparently, didn’t concern you or ellie by the way they went quiet when they saw you two approach.
“guys? i think i’m gonna go. it’s getting pretty late—”
“ellie will drive you home,” jesse quickly said, making the aforementioned look up at him, disoriented.
“huh?”
“yeah?” you looked at her, lips pulling into a small smile.
who could say no to that face?
jesse threw ellie the car keys, mouthing ‘you’re welcome’ while you hugged dina and lisa goodbye. she frowned, silently inquiring what did he mean by that before setting her gaze on you.
“you ready?” ellie asked from the doorframe, waiting for you.
the cold breeze from the night hit the both of you the moment you stepped outside. given how late it was, the neighborhood was deadly quiet. the only thing interrupting the silence was the sound of your footsteps.
ellie held the passenger’s door open for you and gifted you a smile when you thanked her, slightly touching her arm. she let out a shaky breath before getting in the car herself.
after giving her your adress, she started driving in silence. her knuckles were turning white due to the tight grip she had on the wheel.
trying to be as discreet as possible, ellie glanced at you from the corner of her eyes but, once again, she met your gaze.
“what?” she couldn’t help but ask, a smile slowly forming on her lips.
you laughed softly, taking your eyes off her and looking down at your fidgeting hands. “oh, nothing.”
“right…” ellie set her eyes back on the road as she turned on the radio.
the quietness of the night got interrupted by the sound of ‘i want to know what love is’ by foreigner. both of you instantly looked at each other when you recognized the song and burst out laughing.
“woah, setting the mood?”
it surprised you when her sheepish tone changed into a slight teasing one, matching yours, “i don’t know, is it working?”
“maybe, maybe.”
the laughter gradually quieted down, letting the cheesy song’s chorus fill the silence. you shot ellie a quick glance, smiling to yourself as you listen to the lyrics.
“it is great song, though,” you commented.
“classic,” ellie added, eyes on the road.
“absolutely.”
you arrived at your place not much longer after that, since your building wasn’t that far away from hers. ellie turned off the engine and looked at you just as you turned your head to her.
“thank you for driving me and for giving me the warmest blanket. especially for the blanket.”
“you’re welcome.” the smile that ellie sent you back was a little too sweet for you to be able to function properly.
you forced yourself to look away from her, not wanting to look like a creep. unfortunately, you appeared to be destined to embarrass yourself that night one way or another. when you tried to unbuckle your seatbelt, it got stuck. you struggled in silence for a bit before giving up and looking at ellie, who had obviously noticed what was going on and was staring at you amusedly.
ellie leaned over, laughing softly at your helpless expression. “i told jesse a million times to sell this piece of crap and buy a new car,” she murmured, shaking her head.
she was close, way too close. your eyes automatically placed on her, as they always seemed to do ever since you met her. a small smile appeared on your lips when you heard her mutter a series of curses under her breath.
“there.” she returned to her seat, giving you the space you needed to regulate your breathing but, at the same time, the space you didn’t want. you happened to like having her close.
“thank you,” you grinned, but your smile faltered a little when you realized that you had to leave. maybe you were being overly dramatic, but you didn’t know when you were going to see her again, so you couldn’t help but feel disappointed that the night had come to an end. “see you around, ellie. thank you for driving me.”
“see you.” her voice was barely above a whisper.
ellie waited for you to be inside your building before leaving. you waved at her one last time, making a smile appear on her lips.
she didn’t put on music on the drive back home. it was just her alone with her thoughts. it was funny, they all seemed to revolve around you.
she went to sleep that night feeling guilty. it wasn’t right for her to be thinking about you that way. it didn’t matter it hadn’t worked out, lisa had liked you first. you were off-limits.
so the world kept spinning, time kept passing, life kept going, and ellie kept trying to forget about you. it wasn’t an easy task, since you had managed to infiltrate even her most random dreams. if that weren’t enough, you started hanging out with the group more often. jesse and dina had both taken a liking in you, too. she obviously couldn’t blame them.
ellie started making up excuses to miss said hangouts, which made her feel bad but she figured some time away from you would help dissolve whatever feelings were brewing inside of her.
she considered she was doing a pretty decent job, but that was until she ran into you on the street.
“ellie!”
you looked as radiant as always, maybe even more since your beauty seemed to be heightened by the fact she had tried so hard to forget about it. it hit her harder than she imagined.
“hey! uh, what’s up?” her reply came out in pathetic stutters, but you didn’t seem to mind.
“oh, nothing. just on my way home. doing some grocery shopping?” you pointed at the bags ellie was holding, to which she nodded.
“yeah, yeah. we were out of sugar n’ stuff.”
“i feel like i haven’t seen you in forever. you missed movie night at dina’s.”
“yeah, i know. i’ve been busy.”
the hectic sounds of the crowded street didn’t hide the fact that a deafening silence followed ellie’s short answer. you stood there, waiting for her to say something else, or even look you in the eyes.
“listen, um, i gotta go. i’m late for… something. see you around?”
stunned, you watched as she hurriedly walked past you. you tried to make sense of what had just happened, trying to recall if you could have possible done something to upset her, but nothing came to mind.
ellie turned around the corner cringing at her own behavior. she felt awful and spent the entire walk home trying to shake off the embarrassment.
lisa, who was already at the apartment, curiously observed her friend as she helped her put away everything she had bought.
“you okay, dude?” she asked her once she caught ellie staring a little too long at the wall.
“yeah, why?”
“are you sure? you’ve been acting weird lately.”
she sighed, “i’m good, i swear.”
“really? because a little bird told me you seemed off today.”
ellie shot her friend a glance, knowing that little bird was you. “oh. yeah, about that…”
what was she supposed to say? that she practically ran away from you because she couldn’t handle being around you without feeling fucking butterflies in her stomach and that it made her feel terribly guilty and the same time it scared the shit out of her?
“it’s nothing, lisa. i was just in a hurry—”
“do you have a problem with her or something?”
“what? no, of course not.”
“then why do you keep running away from her? you never hang out with us when she’s there.”
“i already told you it’s nothing.”
“we honestly thought you liked her. maybe we’ve been wrong this entire time?” she asked more to herself than to ellie.
ellie let out an awkward chuckle, “i do. she’s cool. why wouldn’t i like her?”
“no, me and the guys had this theory. we thought you liked her as in like her, as more than friends.”
ellie averted her gaze from lisa to the floor, “what?” she asked in a high-pitched voice. “no, i don’t.”
“oh my god, i knew it. you were so making eyes at each other when she came to see us play—”
“we weren’t—”
“—then, i told the others and they noticed the same thing. that’s why jesse told you to drive her home.”
suddenly, her friend’s behavior started making sense and she could not be more mortified. had she been that obvious?
“y’know, she asks me about you all the time, then she plays it off by asking about dina and jesse too, but i know she doesn’t really care about them.”
ellie’s stomach fluttered at the new information, but she shook her head. “that doesn’t mean anything.”
“is that why you’re acting weird? you like her but you don’t think she feels the same? cause let me tell you, she obviously does,” lisa told her, searching to meet her eyes. seeing ellie stayed silent, she spoke up again. “i don’t mind, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“lisa…”
“ellie…” she mocked her, unable to hide her amused smile. “so that’s what happened? you were worried i’d get mad if you liked her?”
ellie nodded, finally looking at her. “i felt bad.”
“aw, aren’t you a big ol’ softie underneath that permanent scowl?” lisa laughed, making ellie roll her eyes. “if i knew that was the thing holding you back i would’ve told you to go for it a long time ago. i just didn’t want to pressure you, i know you don’t like to talk about that stuff.”
“it’s not the only thing that’s holding me back,” ellie mumbled as she scratched the back of her neck, gaze cast downward.
“ellie she likes you, i mean it. when we were on stage she didn’t look at the rest of us once. not even when i fell, she probably didn’t even notice.”
“you fell?”
“exactly. you two were in your own little world. it’s cute, actually. so, if you’re really interested, ask her out.”
it was painfully obvious how interested ellie was but, even with lisa’s blessing and words of reassurance, she wasn’t entirely convinced you liked her back. there was the possibility you were too nice, that’s all. so, she decided to do something she never thought she’d do.
ellie left it to the hands of fate.
no matter the outcome, the universe would send some kind of signal if she should ask you out. what she didn’t expect, was that the universe would act so quickly.
only two days passed before ellie saw you again.
for some reason, she had decided to walk home after band practice. she was too caught up in her own world to notice anything happening around her, but the sound of a familiar voice snapped her back to reality.
you were talking to a dog that seemed to be attentively listening as if he understood what you were saying. “you can’t pee on strangers. or anyone, for that matter.”
a short, soft laugh escaped her lips at the situation. ellie put her hands in her pockets, a wave of nerves suddenly washing over her at hesitation grew within her. letting out a small sigh, she gathered all her courage and straightened her back. ellie began approaching you with a determined look on her face.
“hey.”
your head shot up, the corners of your lips tugging up in a smile as soon as you saw who it was. “ellie, hi!”
the dog beside you immediately jumped at her, attacking her with several kisses as his tail moved at an impossibly fast speed. ellie chuckled as she kneeled down to pet him.
“oh, i’m sorry!”
“it’s okay, i don’t mind.”
“he must really like you. he doesn’t let strangers pet him.”
“yeah?” ellie smiled up at you before returning her gaze to the dog in front of her.
eh, not really. he’s actually the friendliest dog to ever grace the earth but you’re pretty and you make me nervous. “yeah,” you grinned.
“what’s his name?”
“chip. he’s my niece’s, actually. i’m just talking him for a walk while she’s at school,” you explained, trying not to look to affected by her presence. it was hard.
ellie hummed, deep in thought. suddenly, she looked up at you again, “want some company?”
her question took you by surprise, especially after your last encounter. “uh, yes, i’d like that.”
the two of you began walking at a slow pace, sometimes stopping to wait for chip who got distracted by something that caught his attention. ellie asked how your day was going, and once you were done telling her you asked how hers was. it was a calm conversation, the total opposite of how you two were feeling inside.
“i wanted to apologize for leaving so quick the other day.”
“oh, you don’t have to. it’s fine, really.”
“no, it’s not. i’m sorry, it’s just— um, have you talked to lisa?”
you glanced at her, “not recently, why? did something happen?”
“no, no. i was just wondering.”
“you were wondering because…?”
ellie chuckled awkwardly, realizing what she had gotten herself into. she could play dumb and avoid the conversation, but that would be not listening to the universe and that would be a very dumb thing to do, wouldn’t it?
“you’re just friends, right?”
you gave her another quick side-eyed glance, “yes, why?”
“you don’t like her that way and she doesn’t like you that way either, right?”
you let out a short laugh, “yes, ellie. our date wasn’t what we expected so we decided to just stay friends. i already told you that.”
“then let me show you how it’s done.”
you whipped your head around and stared at her as your surprised expression began to morph into a giddy grin. “what?”
“let me take you on a proper date. are you free tomorrow?”
“really?”
“if— if you want, of course.”
in that moment, ellie knew she had made the right choice and internally thanked the universe for pushing her to do so. the way your face lit up at her words was priceless, and it was also a sign that you were as interested in her as she was in you.
you gleefully accepted her request with a warm smile, one that almost knocked the air out of ellie. she promised to text you so she could tell you the details, and she stuck to her word because once you arrived home there was a message from her waiting for you.
you began texting right away. more precisely, you sent hundreds of voicenotes throughout the day and she happily listened to them, replying with an equal amount of texts and lame reaction pictures (which you loved).
“you’re okay with this, right?” ellie asked lisa for the hundredth time as she was about to leave for your date.
her friend, who was sitting comfortably on their couch, rolled her eyes for the hundredth time, too. “ellie, i swear to god if you ask me again—”
“alright! alright.”
“have fun, dork.”
“yeah, yeah,” she muttered as she grabbed the keys to jesse’s car, who had kindly let her borrow it for the date. “don’t wait up, i know how to keep a girl entertained.”
“fuck you!” ellie heard lisa say before she closed the door behind her. she went snickering to herself the whole way to the car, but soon her cockiness evaporated and, instead, a feeling of uncertainty replaced it.
she began second guessing every decision she made the closer she got to your house. was her outfit nice? was her hair okay? was the bouquet of flowers too much? was the date idea she had planned the most nerdy thing ever thought? the answer to that last question was probably, but there was no time to change it, she was already waiting for you outside.
she shuffled her feet as she moved from side to side, her grip on the stems of the flowers tightening. once she heard someone coming, her head shot up. her lips instantly curved into a smile when she saw you. you had the biggest grin on your face as you approached her. ellie’s smile widened even more when she noticed what you had on your hands.
flowers.
“we’re too cheesy, aren’t we?” you scrunched up your nose, slightly tilting your head to the side as ellie laughed. you proceeded to exchange bouquets, your fingers briefly brushing hers. “these are beautiful, thank you.” the compliment left your lips in a tone so sweet it had ellie melting. “alright, should we go?”
“you’re not gonna leave them to put them in water or something?”
“that’s for when i get back. i wanna show them off first. unless the super secret date location isn’t flower-friendly?”
“oh, no, you can take them. it’ll be fine.”
ellie’s chosen date destination was the museum. it was nerdy but, fortunately for her, you were thrilled once you found out. you kept telling her how excited you were while you waited in line, swinging the flowers around as you gesticulated.
there was a small smile on her lips as she attentively listened to you talk about your first experience in a museum and how you’ve always wanted to go to one again, but never got around to it.
it was strange to think about when ellie first saw you in a picture. you caught her attention right away. now, you were in front of her, gifting her your presence and your kind smiles.
everything was going great, but the constant reminder that she wasn’t being completely honest with you caused a persistent feeling of guilt to set on the pit of her stomach.
“i have to tell you something,” ellie said after a moment of silence.
your eyebrows instantly scrunched together at her tone. “everything okay?”
“you said lisa seemed different in person than through text. she probably knew nothing about the movies and characters she said to like when you talked about it on your date, right? well, that’s because it was actually me behind those texts. just when those topics came out, you know, it wasn’t me always. so, basically, i feel really bad about not telling you sooner. you probably think this is weird, right?” ellie let out an awkward chuckle after her (way too long) rambling.
you stared at her in silence, processsing the great amount of information she had given you in just five seconds. suddenly, you laughed.
“it really threw me off when lisa said she loved anakin and legolas’ friendship. then i saw your room. i knew something was fishy, though i never would’ve have guessed i actually talked to you and you weren’t just telling her what to say.”
ellie hid her face behind her hands, laughing at lisa’s huge mistake. “i can’t believe she got aragorn and anakin mixed up.”
you chuckled, “yeah, and that wasn’t the worst one.”
“oh my god,” she groaned. “wait, so, you knew?”
“kind of. i didn’t ask lisa about it because i didn’t want her to be embarrassed or anything, so i just assumed something like that had happened.”
“and you’re not mad?”
“i wouldn’t be here if that were the case, but thank you for telling me,” you said, smiling sweetly at her and reaching for her hand to give her a quick little squeeze. “c’mon, we’re holding the line.”
much to ellie’s dismay, your hand slipped away from hers. she couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed at how brief the contact had been. still, having told you the whole truth, ellie was practically floating behind you.
“by the way, i wanted to tell you something, too,” you started, making her look into your eyes. “going on dates with two different people in such a short time is not like me, y’know? especially if those people are friends.”
“okay…”
“i just don’t want you to get the wrong idea of me.”
“what, that you’re homie hopper?”
“ellie!” you laughed in disbelief.
“i’m kidding,” she playfully rolled her eyes. you watched as her teasing smirk turned into a soft smile.
ellie had never been an affectionate person. in fact, having someone constantly touching her wasn’t something she craved and seeing couples that were too into public displays of affection made her sick. then, she met you.
standing so close to you was torture. every fiber of her being screamed to get closer and, for the first time, she initiated contact. seeing you two were next in line, she took that opportunity to grab your hand and lead you into the museum. she didn’t turn around to see your reaction, but she didn’t have to. you squeezed her hand and intertwined your fingers, indicating that you wouldn’t let go.
you walked side by side at an unhurried pace, taking the time to soak in everything you saw. the rest of the world could have disappeared and neither of you would have cared. in that moment, all that existed were each other and the hushed conversations you shared. the both of you were so caught up in your own little bubble that often forgot there were people around and you had to apologize every time you laughed a little too loud.
ellie knew a lot about everything, you were in complete awe of her. you were certain you could listen to her tell you a million random facts and never get tired of it. the best part was when you finally reached the section where everything dinosaur-related was displayed.
“you said you wanted to learn about them, didn’t you?” she asked with a playful smirk. “you still have time to want to take it back, because i will not be able to shut up once i start.”
you shook your head, smiling fondly at her. “i will listen to every word.”
and you did. sometimes you asked her questions, leading her to talk even more than she intended. it worried her that you could get annoyed, but she could see the genuine interest in your eyes whenever she looked at you.
time flew by much faster than you would’ve wanted. many conversations were shared throughout the whole date. some were meaningful and some weren’t, but each and every one of them would stay engraved in each other’s memories.
you would always remember ellie’s biggest regret, her favorite candy, the first time she fell in love, the age she learned how to ride a bike and how much she hated reality shows.
she would always remember the first time someone broke your heart, that you preferred tea over coffee, your favorite cartoon growing up and your irrational fear of mannequins.
both of you would always remember the comfortable silences you shared during the art section and the way both of you giggled whenever you caught each other’s eyes.
now, standing outside of your building under a starry sky, you already felt nostalgic about a night that wasn’t even technically over yet.
“thank you for today. it totally exceeded my expectations, and they were really, really high, by the way.”
“yeah?” ellie smiled widely before biting down her bottom lip.
“yeah.” you nod, grinning. “i had a lot of fun.”
“me too.”
you kept staring at each other, unable to erase the dumb smiles off your lips.
“did i score a second date?”
“you even scored a third one.”
ellie laughed at your answer, momentarily looking down at her shoes. when she met your gaze again, she felt time slowing as well as her breath. you were the one who took the first step, quite literally, standing closer to her whilst she seemed to be completely still.
your eyes met for a brief moment before you finally closed the gap between you and enveloped you two on a very eagerly awaited kiss. the contact made ellie come back to her senses and she reacted almost instantly, making you smile against her.
you had been waiting for that moment to come since beginning of the night and, yet, you still weren’t ready for the way it made you feel. it was overwhelming, in the best way possible.
“i’d invite you over but, unfortunately for you, i’m a lady,” you murmured as your fingers intertwined on the back of her head, the bouquet of flowers hanging upside down on her back.
ellie grinned against your lips before giving you one final kiss. “goodnight.”
you had said your goodbyes. the next step was for ellie to leave, but she found herself glued to the floor. your soft smile quickly became a teasing smirk when you realized she had no intention to move.
“did you forget how to walk?”
her next move pleasantly surprised you. she raised one of her hands to the back of your neck and pulled gently to draw you into another kiss. it felt so natural, so right.
“i think it’s time for our second date,” she mumbled, smiling dazedly.
“now?”
she was still so close.
“please.”
you weren’t sure how it was possible for you to hear her whispering voice over the loud beating of your heart.
“let’s just— let’s drive around and see where we end up.”
you grinned, immediately nodding at her proposal.
who could say no to that face?
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snowysosturn · 2 months ago
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Speeding Car - Matt Sturniolo Finale
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Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Finale
Pairing : y/n x Matt Sturniolo
Summary : After six years with your boyfriend Alex, you start to mentally check out. At a UCLA party, Alex reconnects with his childhood friend Emily, who proposes a double date with her boyfriend Matt. Your attraction to Matt grows as he pays you the first real attention you've had in years, sparking a complicated emotional journey.
Warnings : MDNI, mentions of memory loss, guilt, mentions of car accident, anxiety, angst, trauma, confusion, swearing
Matt's POV
I walked back the way we came, trying to spot Y/n. In the distance I notice a familiar car, one that I only recoginse from being parked outside Y/n’s apartment. It had to be her. Then, before I could stop myself, I found myself driving again. My hands on the wheel, heading toward the one place I knew she’d be. I let the group know they would have to Uber home, I wasn’t too sure how long this was going to take me.
When I stepped into the LA Kings Valley Ice Center, it was almost eerie how quiet it was. The place was practically empty, saved for one lone figure gliding across the ice.
I knew it was her before I even saw her face.
Y/n moved on the ice with such ease, such grace, she was born for it. Watching her skate was like watching poetry in motion. But seeing her there, knowing the way things were the last time we were here, made my chest tighten. I wanted to go to her, to explain everything, to tell her how much I had missed her, but I couldn’t move.
I stood there, frozen, until she attempted a jump, the triple Axel. But she fell. I could sense the disappointment in her, I knew she could do it, I’ve seen her do it. I took a deep breath and stepped forward, my voice breaking the silence. “You know you can do it, Y/n.”
She turned, her eyes wide with surprise as she spotted me standing by the edge of the rink. “What.. what are you doing here?” She asked, her voice shaky as she stood up, brushing the ice off her pants.
Shit. I didn’t know what to say. I was tired of the front I was putting up. I knew it was time to be vulnerable.
“I knew you’d be here..” I said, trying to keep my voice steady, but my heart was pounding.
"Wait, how did you-"
"I know you better than anyone else, Y/n," I interrupted. It was the truth. Even if she couldn’t remember everything, I did. I remembered every detail about her, every little thing that made her who she was.
She shook her head, disbelief written across her face. “How could you say that when I don’t even know myself anymore?” Her voice cracked, and it broke something inside me to see her like this, so lost, so unsure.
Standing at the edge of the rink, I watched Y/n, my heart pounding in my chest. “Maybe not” I admitted, stepping forward slowly, careful not to push her away. “But I know the you standing right here, right now. The you who comes to this rink when the world gets too heavy. The you who still feels at home on the ice, even if everything else feels out of control.”
I could see the impact of my words on her face. They impacted her, revealing a truth she didn’t want to confront. As much as she might want to push me away and deny it, in that moment, I felt like I saw her more clearly than she saw herself. But as I spoke, I noticed the tension building in her, the way she held back emotions she had buried for too long. I could feel her vulnerability, and I knew she was struggling with everything inside her.
“I don’t even understand why you’re here, Matt.” she finally said, her voice cracking slightly. The words slipped out, raw and honest. She needed answers, and I had to give them to her.
For a moment, silence enveloped us, thick and heavy. I could see the confusion in her eyes, and I understood it all too well. “I’m here because I couldn’t stay away any longer. I need to tell you everything." I said, my voice was quiet but steady. I looked into her eyes, and I could feel the weight of what was about to unfold.
“I know you’re confused, Y/n, and I don’t blame you. I should’ve been more honest with you from the start, but everything got so messed up.” The regret poured out of me, and I hoped she could sense my sincerity.
Before I knew it I was telling her everything about us. Our whole story together. The double date. My house party. Coming back for her after dropping off Emily. Playing Mario Kart. Alex’s fight. Emily and Alex going to Europe. Trying to cut her off. Nicks friendship with her. Topgolf. Venice beach. All the times I wanted to kiss her. Our first kiss. Our first night spent together. And every little bit in between. The nostalgia washed over me, reminding me of the joy we had shared. “I cared about you more than I’ve ever cared about anyone. I wanted to protect you, but I couldn’t even do that right.”
The weight of what I had to share next felt heavy in the air. “The night before Alex and Emily came home from Europe, Nick and Chris went to our friend Tara’s party. It was just the two of us in my house, and you told me that Alex and Emily were cheating on us. I thought that was it. Our way out. I was ready, Y/n. I was ready to walk away from Emily and start something real with you.”
I paused, reaching into my pocket to pull out the missing earring I had kept, The missing earring felt symbolic. As soon as she lost it, I lost her out of my life. “It must’ve fallen off in my bed when you passed out that night. You never knew this part.. but Emily found it before I could confront her. She blackmailed me. She told me that if I left her, she’d ruin your life. She’d tell Alex everything and twist it. I didn’t know what else to do. I was a coward. I should’ve fought for us, but I didn’t. She made me go to that party with her the night… I didn’t expect you to be there.”
The pain washed over me again. How clueless to everything Y/n was this whole time. "I saw the confusion on your face as you looked at me, and I felt torn between what I wanted to do and what I had to do. I wanted to pull you close, to tell you how much I cared, but instead, I had to watch you from the sidelines. I found you in the bathroom, and that was when everything spiraled. I told you that what we had was a mistake,” I admitted, the words tasting bitter on my tongue. “That it was over.”
Even though she couldn’t fully recall it, I could see the emotional scar in her eyes. I knew I shattered her heart that night, and I’d never forgive myself for it.
“You were devastated, Y/n. I saw it in your eyes. And I’m not going to act like I wasn’t devastated too, even though I had to pretend then.” My voice broke, and I took a shaky breath, the weight of my confession choking me. “I shattered your heart in that bathroom. And then.. you ran. You ran into the street.”
The horror of that night flashed in my mind like a haunting reel. My hands trembled as I brought them to my face, trying to shield myself from the memory.
“I tried to stop you. I tried to yell at you from the balcony…” I whispered, my heart racing as I relived it. “The last thing I heard you say was that you loved me. I know you were about to say you thought I loved you too, but I cut you off. I told you to get off the road... and then-”
The words got stuck in my throat, the pain too much to bear. I pressed my palms against my face, wishing I could push the memories away, but they lingered, tormenting me.
“It’s my fault.” I murmured, my voice barely audible. “All of it. You were only on that road because I made you believe what we had wasn’t real. But it was, Y/n. It was the realest thing I’ve ever had. I’ve never experienced anything like you. And I’ve been grieving you ever since.”
My confession hung heavy in the air, suffocating me with the truth of it all. The anger, confusion, and longing I’d felt since waking up in the hospital crashed over me like a tsunami wave, each feeling more overwhelming than the last.
“And I’m so sorry I never fought for you. I know I should’ve, but then Alex appeared in the hospital. You couldn’t remember me. He was acting like you were still together. You had no memory of us, and I had caused you enough pain as it was. I didn’t want to make it worse.”
“I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought it would be easier for you, that you could heal without me dragging you back into the chaos. But I was wrong. I was so wrong.”
The silence between us grew thick, filled with all the unspoken words and feelings that had been buried beneath layers of hurt. I could see the regret etched across my own face, the guilt weighing heavily on my shoulders.
“I thought I could forget you, that maybe it would make everything simpler,” I admitted, my voice trembling as I fought back tears. “But you’re unforgettable.”
I stepped closer, desperation clawing at my heart. “Y/n, I’ve spent every day since that night wishing I could take it all back. Even how I acted so standoff-ish around you. It’s because I love you. I always have.”
“I want to show you that what we had was real. I want you to relive it all. I want to fight for you, if you’ll let me.”
Y/n stood there for a long moment, her eyes glistening with unshed tears as she stared at me. I could see the conflict in her expression, the pain that lingered from everything that had happened between us. My heart pounded in my chest, unsure of what would come next. I’d just laid it all out for her. Everything I’d held back, everything I wished I could’ve changed. Now it was up to her to decide.
Then, without warning, she moved.
Before I could even process it, she was in my arms, her body crashing against mine as her arms wrapped tightly around me. She held on like I was her lifeline, clinging to me for dear life, and all I could do was wrap my arms around her in return, holding her just as tightly.
I felt her shoulders shake, her breath hitching against my chest as the tears she’d been holding back finally fell. The sound of her quiet sobs broke something deep inside of me, and I buried my face in her hair, trying to ground myself in the moment. She was here, in my arms, and she hadn’t pushed me away.
“I’m so sorry” I whispered into her hair, my voice cracking. “I’m so, so sorry for everything, Y/n.”
She didn’t say anything, just held on tighter, as if letting go would cause everything to shatter again. I could feel her tears soaking into my shirt, and it took everything in me not to break down right there with her. I didn’t deserve it, I didn’t deserve her forgiveness, her touch. But I couldn’t bring myself to let go.
We stood like that for what felt like forever, neither of us moving, neither of us speaking. Just the sound of her quiet cries and the soft hum of the ice rink around us. I felt her heartbeat against mine, her body trembling slightly as she let out everything she had been holding inside.
“I don’t know if I can trust you yet.” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
“I’ll earn it back” I promised, my voice thick with emotion. “I swear to you, Y/n, I’ll earn it back.”
She stared at me for a long moment, her bottom lip trembling, before resting her forehead against my chest, letting out a shaky breath. Her arms loosened around me, but she didn’t pull away completely.
Y/n’s POV
I was astonished by everything I’d just heard but yet, I still felt that familiar pull to Matt again, the same one that had confused me for so long. It was almost like a battle between my head and my heart. One telling me to run, the other urging me to stay. Tears welled up in my eyes, blurring my vision as the weight of everything hit me. All I wanted in that moment was his touch, some kind of reassurance that everything wasn’t broken beyond repair. Before I could even process what I was doing, my arms were wrapped around him, holding on tight, because I couldn’t wrap my head around anything else.
Tears streamed down my face as I buried myself into his chest, my sobs muffled against his shirt. It felt like everything had been building to this moment, all the pain, the confusion, the heartbreak. It all came pouring out.
“I don’t know if I can trust you yet.” I whispered, my voice fragile, like it might shatter under the weight of those words.
“I’ll earn it back.” Matt promised, his voice thick with emotion, like he was holding on just as tightly to this moment as I was. “I swear to you, Y/n, I’ll earn it back.”
I pulled back just enough to look at him, my eyes still blurry with tears. His face was full of guilt, regret, and something else. A kind of desperation, maybe, like he was afraid this would be the last time he’d have me in his arms. My bottom lip trembled, and I placed my head against his chest again. I wasn’t sure If I was ready to fully let him back in, but I wasn’t ready to let him go either.
Everything felt so overwhelming, but I didn’t want to cry anymore. I didn’t want to feel this crushing weight, at least not right now.
“Can we just skate for a bit?” I asked softly, my voice barely audible.
Matt nodded, his hand brushing gently against my back. “Yeah, of course.”
I wiped the remaining tears from my eyes as we made our way to the ice. The rink was still completely empty, the perfect setting for this strange, emotional reunion. I stepped onto the ice first, the cool air hitting my face as I glided forward, stinging it in the process.
Matt followed, his steps surprisingly graceful. I turned back, watching as he moved along without falling.
“Wait, did you play hockey?” I asked, curious and a little impressed by how well he was keeping up.
He looked at me, shocked. “You remember that?” His voice was filled with hope, like this small memory coming back meant more than I realized.
I nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips. “Yeah, it just came to me.”
The tension between us seemed to ease a little as we skated, the ice beneath us smoothing out some of the jagged edges of our past. It wasn’t perfect, and I still wasn’t sure where things would go from here, but for now, this was enough. Just us, on the ice, trying to figure out if there’s a way back to something real.
We skated in silence for a few minutes until Matt broke it. “You should try the triple Axel.”
I turned to him, caught off guard. “What? No, I fucked it up completely there. I can barely keep my balance, and”
“I’ve seen you do it before, Y/n,” Matt said, cutting me off, his voice firm but encouraging. “You’ve nailed it before, and I know you can do it again. Don’t overthink it.”
I shook my head, nervousness creeping in. “I don’t know if I-”
“You’ve got this.” he insisted, skating in front of me, blocking my path. “Just trust yourself. Don’t think. Just do.”
I could see the belief in his eyes, and it made me pause. Matt wasn’t letting me give in to this fear. His faith in me was stronger than the doubt clawed at my thoughts.
I took a deep breath and skated to the other end of the rink, giving myself enough space to build momentum. My heart raced as I picked up speed, every nerve in my body tingling. Matt skated to the edge, watching, his eyes never leaving me.
“Don’t overthink it!” he called out again, his voice echoing in the empty rink.
I closed my eyes for a second, trying to push out all the noise in my head. Then I opened them, focused on the ice in front of me, and went for it. I launched myself into the air, spinning once, twice, three times. My body moved on instinct, and before I knew it, I was back on the ice, landing perfectly.
I did it.
Shock and excitement rushed through me as I stopped, barely believing what had just happened. “I.. I did it!” I shouted, my voice full of disbelief.
Matt’s grin stretched wide across his face. In an instant, he was skating toward me, sweeping me off my feet and spinning me around in the air. I laughed, the sound light and free, as Matt twirled me with pure joy.
“You did it!” he exclaimed, his voice full of pride as he set me down gently but kept his arms around me. “I told you, Y/n, I knew you could do it.”
I was still buzzing from the adrenaline, from the excitement of actually nailing it after all this time. I looked up at him, my breath a little shaky, my heart pounding. “I can’t believe it.”
He smiled, brushing a stray hair from my face. “Believe it. You’re incredible.”
Everything felt simple again, just me, the ice, and Matt. Nothing else mattered. Not the past, not the mistakes, just this moment of pure triumph.
“Wait, wait,” Matt said, a mischievous grin forming on his face. “You remember that time you taught me how to spin? Let me show you again.”
I laughed, stepping back to give him room as he attempted a clumsy spin. He twirled once, his arms outstretched, and I couldn’t help but laugh harder when he wobbled, barely keeping his balance. The look on his face was priceless. Full of pride, like he’d just nailed a perfect routine.
He straightened up, beaming. “See? I’ve still got it.”
Watching him, I felt a warmth spread through me, a joy that I hadn’t felt in a long time. This is fun. I enjoy this. I enjoy his company. I enjoy him. Maybe I need to trust him. Maybe it’s time to let go of the past. Maybe this was the safest way to go. Maybe this is the way it was always meant to go.
I skated closer to him, my heart racing but not with fear this time. It was something else. Something that felt right. I stopped on the ice, meeting his gaze, and in that moment, it felt like everything clicked into place.
“I want this.” I said, my voice steady but soft, surprising even myself as the words came out.
Matt’s eyes widened slightly, a mix of hope and disbelief crossing his face. “You do?”
“Yes.” I said, the certainty in my voice growing. “I want this. I want us.”
Before I could say anything more, Matt closed the distance between us, his hands gently cradling my face as he leaned in. Our lips met, the kiss soft at first, but filled with all the emotions that had been building between us for so long.
It felt like everything I’d been holding in, every doubt, every fear, melted away in that kiss. All that was left was him. Us. And for the first time in a long time, my memory felt clear.
In the following weeks, Matt and I decided to relive everything but in a new way. It felt like starting over, but with all the memories, feelings, and experiences guiding us. Our first group outing after reconnecting was to Golf’N’Stuff. Mini-golfing, of course, since Matt had made it very clear that I was absolutely terrible at hitting a golf ball any other way. He never let me live down the disaster that was Topgolf, but this time, it was going to be different.
We arrived at the course, our usual group with us, Chris, Nick, Nate, and Madi. Funny enough, Madi turned out to be the girl who was with them at the beach that night, and now I felt so ridiculous for letting myself feel jealous. It was nice to rekindle my friendship with her too and I couldn’t believe I’d ever thought otherwise.
As we made our way around the course, everyone’s competitive sides came out, especially Chris and Nate, who turned it into some sort of showdown between the two of them. Madi and Nick were more laidback, laughing at the chaos and whispering to each other as they played. But Matt? He was glued to my side, teasing me every time I lined up a shot.
“Come on, Y/n” Matt smirked, watching me carefully aim. “Don’t mess this one up. The hole’s right there.”
I shot him a playful glare. “Watch and learn.”
To my own surprise, and everyone else's, I managed to get a hole in one. I threw my hands up in victory, letting out a cheer as Matt’s jaw dropped.
“Are you kidding me?” he laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. “You’re hustling us.”
“Oh, please” I grinned, nudging him with my elbow. “I’m just that good at mini golf.”
As the game went on, I kept surprising myself. Shot after shot, I was actually doing well. By the time we reached the last hole, it was obvious. I was going to win.
Matt leaned over, giving me a mocking look. “Alright, Y/n, if you win this.. I might have to accept defeat. But just know, you’ll never beat me at Topgolf.”
I laughed, rolling my eyes. “Challenge accepted. Do you see these swings now? It’s called growth.”
I lined up my final shot, feeling a little pressure from everyone watching. But I took a deep breath, focused, and hit the ball just right. It rolled smoothly across the green and dropped into the hole.
“I win!” I cheered, jumping up and down with excitement. The group groaned playfully, but everyone was smiling.
Matt wrapped his arms around me, lifting me slightly off the ground. “Alright, you win this round, mini golf champion.”
The victory felt good, but what felt even better was how natural everything had become again. The laughter, the teasing, the warmth of being with the people I cared about. I wasn’t just rebuilding my relationship with Matt. I was reconnecting with all of them, creating new memories to replace the ones that were lost.
Our first solo date was to Santa Monica Pier, Pacific Park, to be exact. It felt close enough to Venice, where so much had happened between us, but it was still new territory. A fresh start. The moment we stepped onto the boardwalk, I felt a mix of excitement and nerves. It wasn’t just about spending the evening together. It was about creating something new, something just for us.
The sun was setting, and the sound of waves crashing against the shore filled the air as we made our way toward the rides. Matt had that familiar, easy grin on his face, and it was contagious. We grabbed some candy floss as we walked, his arm casually draped over my shoulder as he teased me about the way I was already eyeing the Ferris wheel.
"First ride?" he asked, pointing toward the towering wheel spinning in slow circles.
"Obviously, I have to ease you in first" I laughed, taking a bite of the cotton candy. "But after that, you’re going on the roller coaster with me."
Matt raised an eyebrow. "Oh, you think I’m scared of the roller coaster?"
"I know you are" I teased. "But we’ll see if you can handle it."
We got in line for the Ferris wheel, and as soon as we were in the little gondola, the world seemed to slow down. The view of the ocean stretched endlessly in front of us, and for a few moments, it felt like we were the only two people in the world. The sunset began casting orange and pink hues across the sky, and the calm of the water below was the perfect setting.
“This is nice” I said softly, leaning my head on his shoulder.
“It’s perfect” he replied, his arm tightening around me. “No distractions. Just us.”
When the ride ended, we headed straight for the next ride. Pacific Plunge, the sign read. Matt tried to act cool, but I could see the slight hesitation in his eyes. Still, he followed me into the line, determined not to back down.
As we sat in the car, I couldn’t help but grin. "Ready?"
"Always" he replied, though I could hear a hint of nerves in his voice.
The ride took off, and the thrill of the drops of the tower made me laugh uncontrollably. I glanced at Matt during the ride, and his expression was priceless. He was holding on for dear life, but there was a smile on his face too.
When we got off, he shook his head, laughing. “Alright, fine. You win this one.”
“Told you” I teased, bumping into him lightly. “But you handled it well.”
The rest of the evening was filled with more rides - the bumper cars, where Matt definitely gave me a run for my money, and the spinning swings, where we both got dizzy but couldn’t stop laughing. We played some carnival games, too, and Matt even won me a stuffed animal from the ring toss game, though I suspected the worker might’ve rigged it in his favor.
By the time we decided to leave, the lights of Pacific Park were twinkling against the night sky, and the pier was still bustling with energy. We walked along the boardwalk, hand in hand, the sounds of laughter and the distant hum of the carousel filling the air.
“This was a good day,” I said, smiling up at him.
“The best.” he replied, squeezing my hand gently. “We needed this.”
And he was right. It was exactly what we needed. A new experience, something just for us, without the weight of everything that had happened before. Just us, having fun, and building something real again.
And that brings us to the present day. Six months later and a five-and-a-half-hour flight to Boston. The city skyline faded behind us as we pulled up to Matt's family home, and his excitement was contagious.
“I can’t wait to introduce my mom and dad to my girlfriend.” Matt grinned, glancing over at me with that same boyish smile that never failed to make my heart flutter.
My mind jumped back to the memory of him asking me a few months ago. How I woke up one morning, to blueberry pancakes, cut up in to letters reading “Will U B my GF”. It was things like that that made me love Matt. The little things. He just got me.
As we stepped out of the car, I felt a mix of nerves and excitement. Meeting his family was a big step, but the way he held my hand tightly in his reassured me. We walked up the pathway, and before we even reached the door, it swung open to reveal his parents, Mary-Lou and Jimmy, both smiling warmly, arms outstretched to welcome us.
“You must be Y/n!” Mary-Lou said as she embraced me, her warmth immediately putting me at ease. “It’s so nice to finally meet you.”
"It’s so nice to meet you too!" I smiled, feeling the tension in my shoulders ease. Jimmy gave me a friendly handshake, then pulled me into a hug.
Over the course of the afternoon, we had endless conversations, swapping stories and laughs. It felt natural, like I’d known them for years. At some point, Mary-Lou turned to me, her eyes twinkling with curiosity.
“I heard you’ve qualified for the Olympics?” she asked with a proud smile.
“Yeah I can’t believe it!” I replied, glancing over at Matt with a smile. “I have Matt to thank for pushing me to get back into it.”
“That’s amazing! Getting to be a part of the Olympics in your hometown!” Mary-Lou beamed, and Jimmy nodded in approval.
The moment felt surreal. A far cry from where I was just a few months ago, lost and unsure. But here I was, not only finding my way back to skating but also standing beside someone who believed in me, maybe even more than I believed in myself.
Later that evening, after dinner and more stories shared around the table, Matt and I stepped outside onto the porch, the cool Boston air wrapping around us. The stars were out, scattered across the night sky, and everything felt peaceful. He stood next to me, his arm slipping around my waist as we looked out at the view.
“You’ve made me the happiest I’ve ever been.” Matt said quietly, his voice filled with sincerity. “I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you in my life. To be here with you now.”
I looked up at him, my heart swelling. "I think I'm the lucky one" I whispered. “You gave me a reason to believe in myself again.”
He turned to face me fully, his eyes locking onto mine with that familiar intensity. “We did this together.” he said softly. “I’m just so glad I get to share all of it with you.”
And then, under the stars and in the quiet of the night, he kissed me slowly, tenderly, like we had all the time in the world. It wasn’t just a kiss, it was a promise. A promise of everything we had built, everything we were, and everything that was still to come.
“I love you” I whispered, pulling back just enough to meet his gaze.
“I love you too” he replied, his eyes shining with so much emotion it nearly took my breath away.
And in that moment, I knew - this was exactly how things were meant to be.
NEW CHRIS SERIES HERE
a/n : and just like that, we're finished :( my first ever fic. thank you so so so sooooo much to every single person that has supported this and given it so much love over the last 2 months. this fic and everyone reading it helped me through a breakup of a 10 year relationship and i’ll always be grateful. it was so fun to write and im so sad its an end of an era. I now have a general taglist here if anyone would like to be on it just interact with the post. thank you so much again for everything <3 a new chris series is coming soon!
Snowy <3
taglist : @muwapsturniolo @anitahunt @sturnfannn @jayde510 @chrissfavhoe @babyalliah-777 @v33angel l @urmom69lol @willowrites @ribread03 @2muchofaslvt @sturnsaver @sleepysturniolo @jcsturniolo11 @jessie-essie @hoeforchrizz @mynbbys @sturniolopanini @mattsturnxoxo @delicatechrry @t77te @sturnsyaper69 @hotdismylife @maggot3647 @ivysturnss @noplaceissafeanymore @mattssgf @yourfavsturniologirl @maethem0nth @sillyponygrl @mattyblover07 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @dominicfikeenthusiast @mattsfavbigtitties @ncm9696 @chrisstvrns @schlutt4matty @lvrsturniolo @chrissolos @ilusa @amelia-sturniolo3 @wonnieeluvvr @pussydestroyer100 @amexiass @mystinkylefttoe26 @lizzysmith110 @sturniololovebot @secret-sturniolo @freshythefishy @witchofthehour @stvrnlover @alizestvrnss @beachbabe000 @pinkdyit @pvssychicken @starkeyszn @matts-girlfriend
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nervoussagittarius · 7 months ago
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what could possibly go wrong?
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matt sturniolo x influencer!reader
summary: matt tries to teach his girlfriend how to play fortnite on a twitch stream, request
warnings: lots of fluff, swearing, fortnite?, some suggestive jokes, yapper! reader
“babe, come sit with me. i just started the stream. people are joining, only for you i think” matt laughed
“of course they are they love me. i keep it real and i’m hilarious” you replied pulling out the extra chair by matt’s desk and sitting down.
“okay, so here’s your controller, and i’m gonna put the headset on you so people can hear you talk.” matt gently placed the headset on you and brushed a piece of hair out of your eyes.
matt got up for a second telling you that he was going to the kitchen to get a drink. you jokingly slapped his ass on his way out. you quickly looked between the camera and the chat trying to read what everyone was saying.
“guys, you want to know what i was thinking about today?” you waited to see their responces even though you were most likely going to tell them anyway.
“so i was driving around la today, and it’s getting hot out again, so everyone’s driving their convertibles. and i drove past like four of them. all i could think about was how easy it would be to steal the car, not that im going to, but how do people feel comfortable leaving their shit open like that”
matt walked back in as you continued to rant about convertibles, “i don’t know about you but half of my life is in my car. if i had a convertible people could easily just take all of my stuff”
matt looked at you dumbfounded, “what are you on about kid?” you looked up at him with admiration on your face.
“im telling them how i feel about convertibles. look they’re mad that you interrupted me.” you pointed at the chat. they were all waiting for you to finish your thought. “this is why we don’t like men guys, they just like to interrupt and be the center of attention”
matt cut you off before you could go on another tangent. “okay, we all know they love when you come on here, but let’s play fortnite.”
you looked at matt trying to hold yourself back. you looked at the camera and gave them a wink.
“what”
“… that’s what she said”
you stood up when you noticed something on the shelf about matt’s desk.
“dude you ass is in my face, and your…boobs… are in the camera” he said awkwardly as he pulled your arm for you to sit back down. he waited to see what you grabbed.
“don’t act like it’s the first time my ass has been in your face,” you sat down holding up your space camp lipbalm to the camera. “shameless plug. go buy it right now. immediately. instantly.”
you applied the chapstick as matt looked at you with puckered lips. he was expecting you to apply the lipbalm on him but instead you gave matt a kiss with a giggle.
“okay so fortnite” matt said trying to get you back on track, blushing.
“yes yes let’s do it” you replied.
“do you know how to use the controller?”
“yes sir, i think i do”
matt looked at you with a raised eyebrow in question. you didn’t let up though, you were sure you could figure out how to use the controller in secret.
“so you have to start by picking a character.”
“i’m indecisive. can you pick for me?” you said with a smile.
“no babe, you got it just pick one.” matt said with a chuckle. he set his chin in your shoulder to get a better look.
“i’m gonna go bonkers if i have to make decisions this whole time, matt”
“no there’s just one i promise. everything else is preloaded from me so you don’t have to worry,” he leaned forward to kiss your neck lovingly.
“i love when you make things easy for me. thanks baby.” you said taking your hand off the controller for a second to lace your arm through matt’s.
matt and you had been together for a while now, and with you both having lives on the internet a lot of your relationship was public.
the fans went crazy for anything related to the two of you. they loved you guys together. you had very different personalities, but it seemed to click flawlessly. they always said that opposites attract.
while matt was more reserved, you tended to speak your mind and talk about anything and everything. you were a certified yapper and proud of it, baby. your yapping kept the fans fed on the insides of yours and matt’s relationship. consensually of course.
“okay, so you’re just going to drop in and see what happens”
“what do you mean drop in? im just letting myself fall?” you were very confused on the workings of video games.
“yep, now just make sure you aware of your surroundings”
“making sure i’m aware of my surroundings, got it. i’m just gonna run over here and see what i can find.” you drowned on.
things went smoothly for a couple minutes. you managed to stay alive and not show that you really didn’t know what you were doing with the gaming controller.
all of a sudden you heard distant shots being fired from behind you. not thinking anything of it you kept of running about.
“y/n they’re shooting at you.”
“oh! wait what? where?” you had no clue what was happening. things were going by so fast.
“turn around and shoot at them.”
“matt what?” he was trying to point to where they were on your screen. “dude i don’t even know how to shoot”
“what! i thought you said you knew how to use the controller”
“yeah well i lied” you said panicked.
“these teenage boys are probably laughing at me and that’s a scary thought. teenage boys are scary.” you whined.
you kept pressing random buttons trying to figure out how to fire back, but it was no use. you rushed and threw the controller in matt’s hands so he could take over.
he some how managed to get the kill and your player only ended up injured.
by this point you had given up on the attempts to play fortnite.
you let matt fully take over now. as he played a few more rounds you began to converse with the chat. answering questions and just rambling about some interesting topics.
“y/n what’s going on in your head right in this moment?” you read from the chat. “um, i was thinking about how i was vlogging earlier and there was a spider in my room. i simply couldn’t believe it. i trapped it, but i made matt come get it out of my house”
“that’s very true. i had to drive over there for moral support.”
“my knight in shining armor.” you smiled, looking up at him. “my handsome prince”
matt blushed from your comment as he finished the game he was in while you continued taking to the viewers. you guys decided to wrap things up 5 minutes later.
“how are you feeling now that you know kinda how to play?” matt questioned.
“i feel like i’d rather sit next to you and talk to the chat while you play then actually play myself. i think i’m more content watching you play, but it was a good experience. thank you for teaching me, baby” you kissed matt on the cheek as he began to end the stream.
“i’m gonna be honest, i was stressed for you.” matt stated.
“i was to anxious. i didn’t like having to be in high alert 24/7”
“alrighty, bye guys thanks for hanging out with us”
you blew a kiss to the camera as the filming came to an end.
“can we go to bed now,” you questioned matt as you stretched and got out of your chair.
“yeah of course we can” matt replied pulling you over to his mattress with him.
an: i hope you enjoy this. tbh i know nothing about fortnite so i hope this made sense and met your expectations 🤍🤍
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lizardkingeliot · 2 months ago
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Who wants to read an entire ~600 word scene from the upcoming sequel to my Loustat reunion fic? Because I'm 12k-deep into writing this thing and I'm getting so antsy to get it out into the world already but it's not even close to being done and I could perhaps use a bit of cheerleading so I'm just gonna drop said scene here lol...
Putting most of this under a cut I hope you all enjoy Louis and Lestat bickering about home decor. 🥰
The sun had only just set but they’d already been up for an hour. They were standing in the living room on the rug that had been delivered while they were sleeping. The thick pile soft and plush against Louis’ bare feet. Lestat was splitting his time between frowning down at it and frowning over at Louis.
“This won’t do, mon cher. It’s too…” He gestured airily with one hand, sharp nails gleaming in the artificial light. “French country. Were we not going for coastal?” “I’m gonna ban you from watching those home reno shows on the iPad if you don’t—” Louis drew a breath and fought the urge to roll his eyes. “Thought you hated coastal.”
Lestat hummed, tipped his head to one side, scowled down at the rug. “Even so, is it not the aesthetic we are striving for here in our coastal home?”
“You picked out the rug, Lestat. You—”
“It looked different in the online pictures, cheri.”
“Buy another one, then.”
Louis sighed with his whole chest. He didn’t care about the rugs or the curtains or the lamps. Not really. Though he was starting to get antsy about picking art for the walls. Had been itching to pull pieces from his collection since the first night the realtor sent him the listing. As soon as Lestat decided to stop being difficult on purpose, he could make it work. Lestat let out a sound. Tiniest hint of a growl in his throat. Louis watched him gazing down at their bare feet nestled into the pile. “We need to find a proper boutique. Better yet an auction house. Why are we scouring web pages on an iPad for pieces for our home?”
“Easier that way,” Louis said with a shrug. There was an ache in his stomach he couldn’t give a name to. “We can always just hire someone to do this shit for us, Lestat. I know designers, decorators. Artists. I can call some people—”
“You don’t care about our home.”
Louis’ stomach twisted itself into a knot so quickly it nearly doubled him over. “What the fuck—” He couldn’t help it when the words flew out of his mouth. Seriously—what the fuck. “Why would you say somethin’ like that to me, Lestat?”
Lestat set his eyes on Louis. The set of his jawline was hard and tense. He had that look in his eyes like a cat about to do something very, very stupid. “You cared so much back at Rue Royale. Firm opinions on every piece of furniture. The art on every wall—" “I got art lined up. You know that. You know I’m gonna handle the—” “Do you remember that lamp you hated? Wanted to throw it in the incinerator the moment I—" “Don’t see what point you’re tryin’ to—” “dared to bring it home to replace the one—” “I don’t remember the lamp. I remember you—" “that had been badly damaged—" “being impossible about everything exactly the way you are—” “when we knocked it from the table—” “right now.” “making love. And I—” “Lestat!” “Louis.” Louis drew a long deep breath and huffed it out. The tension in his chest abated just a little, just enough. “I don’t remember the lamp,” he said. And clenched his jaw. And shook his head. Lestat was gazing at Louis with wide eyes that didn’t blink. The centers of them huge black voids Louis could have tumbled down into in seconds. He leaned close. So close the ends of their noses brushed together. “How convenient for you,” he growled, one corner of his mouth twitching up. Louis growled back, showed his teeth, tiniest hint of his fangs poking out. “You’re insufferable, you know that.” He reached forward at once and let his mind go dark. Took Lestat by the hair with both hands. And crashed their mouths together.
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mrsmnsn · 6 months ago
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don’t worry, sweetheart
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summary: you were supposed to be spending the night with your boyfriend, Billy. But suddenly, in the middle of the night, you showed up in front of your best friend’s house.
warnings: physical aggression (reader gets injured); toxic relationship; mentions of injuries; angst;daddy issues? (that’s from billy). please tell if i’m missing anything
Eddie was sleeping when he heard knocking at the door. Who could it be? At this time of the night? Maybe Wayne forgot his keys again…
But when he opened the door, it wasn’t Wayne, it was you. At first he doesn’t realize what it’s happening, but when he gets a closer look, his eyes double in size. He rushes to help you. “Jesus H. Christ! What happened?!” He helps you get inside where is warmer. He kneels beside you. “Y/N.. What happened?…” You’re all cut up and there was bloodstains all over your clothes.
“i can’t eddie i just… i just need your help now” you said tearing up.
“Yeah… I’m here.. I’m here…” Eddie replies. He’s more concerned on how bad you look than being confused. “Hold still, I’m gonna clean your wounds a bit…” He grabs a warm cloth from the bathroom. Then he starts to gently clean your wounds. “Tell me what happened..”
Your eyes were already red and puffy of the many tears you had cried. You looked deeply into his eyes and almost immediately looked down at where his hand were cleaning the injured wrist. “I… Eds i can’t, what if…”. I couldn’t even finish my sentence without sobbing.
Eddie was being so gentle with you, cleaning you up, his hand placed on your knee, his thumb gently rubbing against the skin there. He can’t help but feel his heart ache when he sees you sobbing. “Hey.. It’s okay, Y/N.. Your safe here.. It’s alright.” He tries to soothe you. “I’m not going anywhere, just try and relax…”
You stayed quiet for a while but you felt like you needed to explain the whole situation to him.
“We were just watching a movie in the living room when we heard a knock at the door. Before, we thought it was only Max coming back home, but then his father opened the door, completely drunk carrying a bottle of whiskey on his hand…”
Eddie could see in your eyes that you were living everything all over again.
“He started to mumble things, cursing and aggressively waving his hands, giving Billy no space to move. Until then, he didn’t realize i was there. But, he started beating the shit out of Billy and he just laid there, on the floor. He was not even reacting! I had to do something Eddie, so i tried to pull him out of Billy and he pushed me hard with his elbow, making me fall over the center table.”
Eddie’s expression was very difficult to read. He was listening every word you were saying.
“So, when he heard the table fall, he turned around and dropped the bottle right next to me. I could swear that he was going to hit me, but then Billy got to take his arms and pushed him in the bathroom, locking him in there. When Billy got back to the living room, i asked him if he was ok and he yelled at me. I got scared and that made me fall right on the broken glass. He didn’t helped me, he just turned around and asked me to go away, leave him alone so he could take care of his dad, who was almost braking the door.”
You took a deep breath and Eddie’s hand kept caressing carefully the skin where wasn’t injured.
“i didn’t know where to go Eddie, i couldn’t go home, you were the first person that i could think of.”
Eddie’s eyes glowed with intense anger and frustration directed towards Billy's dad. The way he treated Billy, and the part about almost hitting you with the broken bottle enraged Eddie. Not to mention Billie himself, why didn’t he do anything? He should have helped you! He felt the strong urge to go and confront Billy and his dad himself, but he knew you needed him more in that moment. He kept his voice steady, trying to maintain control of his emotions. “You’re safe here, Y/N. I’m glad you came here… Are you hurt anywhere else?”
“I don’t know… besides from the cuts we can see, my back is hurting a little.” you said worried.
Eddie nods and gently runs his hand across your back, feeling for any obvious injuries. “Take your shirt off, let me see.” He says softly.
You hesitated for a second and then, turning around, you took your shirt off. His silence was concerning so you ask him. “Is it too bad?” Your voice was soft and quiet.
Eddie checks your back, his touch remaining gentle. He notices some red marks, probably bruises forming already, and some superficial scratches, but overall the injuries don’t seem severe. “You’ll be okay, just some bruising. You just need a nice hot shower to relax and you’ll feel better." You give him a fake smile.
He looks at you with sympathy and worry in his eyes. “Y/N, you don’t have to go back to Billy’s anytime soon… You know you can stay as long as you need, right?"
“That’d be great. If my mom sees me like this i don’t even know what she would say… I could really use the shower you were talking about.” you said with a weak voice, taking his hands in yours. “Would you help me? I really need it but i don’t think i can do it by myself.”
In the reality, you didn’t want to be alone. You’ve already walked the whole way here. It was enough.
Eddie nods. “Of course i’ll help you.” He says softly, his voice full of compassion. He stands up and holds out his hand to you, offering assistance as you get up from the couch. He leads you to the bathroom, turning on the hot water. The room starts to fill with steam.
“I might have to help you wash your hair and the rest of your body.” He was hesitant, not even looking at your face. “Is that okay or does it make you uncomfortable?”
“No, of course it doesn’t!” he just nods his head turning around to get a towel. “I just… i don’t want to be alone.”
Eddie nods understandingly again. He turns around to give you at least a little bit of privacy so you can take you clothes off and carefully help you get into the bathtub, managing not to look directly to your naked body until you get under the water. He's gentle with every touch, making sure not to hurt you further.
The warm water was still cascading over your head. When the bathtub was filled with hot water, he turned off the water and started to apply shampoo into your hair, massaging your scalp carefully. The feeling of his touch is both soothing and intimate, his care and affection apparent with each movement.
“Hey… can i share something with you.” You say under your breath
Eddie smiles softly, pausing his task of washing your hair. "Of course you can." He says softly. "You can share anything with me Y/N, you know it." His eyes are full of understanding and support.
“Before everything, Billy took me out for dinner right, and he mentioned of wanting to be with me like for real, for life and everything.” you sighted.
Eddie's heart skips a beat. He didn't expect you to bring this up, but he listens intently, his eyes meeting yours, you look at him over your shoulder. A mix of emotions played on his face, but he kept a neutral expression. Eddie had a crush on you since he became friends with you. Way before you meeting Billy. But he thought you didn’t felt the same way about him. So he never said anything, realizing he was happy to have you as his best friend.
He continued to lather your hair gently, his fingers massaging your scalp. He chose his next words carefully. "And how do you feel about that, Y/N?"
“I didn’t know if i should believe him or not. He’s always so extreme about everything. Just like tonight. We were talking nonsense and, when his father showed up, he snapped. I mean, i know about his relationship with his dad but that doesn’t mean he has to be such an asshole with me when he’s around.” you instantly feel bad for talking badly about you boyfriend like that. “But that’s just how he is, right? He probably didn’t meant any of that and…”
Eddie continued to wash your hair listening your words towards your boyfriend. Maybe, after today, he didn’t possessed this position anymore.
“Sorry, i always do this. I keep trying to find a fucking excuse for everything. That’s how toxic this is! But, especially after this night, i don’t want to spend my life with him, Eddie. To be honest, i don’t even know how we got to extend this relationship for longer then two weeks, it was supposed to be just a kiss….” Eddie was looking at you with pitiful eyes. You just hugged your knees and came back looking at your hand under water. “I guess the walk to here was helpful, wasn’t it….”
Eddie listens quietly. His expression softens as he sees the turmoil in you, the uncertainty and fear. "You don't have to apologize for anything,” He replies softly. "I understand that relationships are messy and complicated.. And they don't always turn out the way we hope." He pauses for a moment, gently rinsing the shampoo out of your hair. "It's okay to feel conflicted. And sometimes, a walk can offer more clarity than we realize."
“You always know the right thing to say, don’t you?”
Eddie smiles softly, shaking his head a little. "Nah, I just kinda speak my mind sometimes..” He chuckles a little, his tone light. You get to finish the rest of your bath in silence.
He reaches over you and grabs your towel, holding it open. “C’mere, lemme dry you up,” he gestures for you to come out of the shower, still fully naked. He’s still being careful of your injuries as he begins drying your body off. Of course Eddie always treated you differently than others, with more affection. But this felt different. A good different for sure.
When he wrap you around the towel you can’t help but lean into his chest, needing to feel his gentle touch and warm skin. “Thank you… for everything. I’d be lost without you” i say greatfully
Eddie holds you close, embracing you securely. He rests his chin on your head. "You’ve been through a lot, Y/N.. I’m glad I can be here for you," he whispers softly. He runs a hand through your wet hair, offering comfort. "I promise you’re safe here. Whatever you need, whenever you need it, I’ve got you."
“I hope you don’t really mean it, i’ll get super spoiled like that.” You tease him looking up but not stepping back.
Eddie laughs softly, his arms still wrapped around you. “Spoiled?” he replies, a teasing tone in his voice. “Oh, I mean it, alright. You deserve all the spoiling.” He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, his thumb grazing your cheek gently.
You get a little nervous when you realized how close you were and, in a snap of a finger, the bathroom felt too small. You clear up your throat and pretend that non of the tension was there. “So, can i borrow something to wear? I’m pretty sure you have a drawer full of cute pj’s” You tease again so things don’t get wired.
Eddie’s eyes sparkle with excitement at the idea of getting to dress you in his clothes. He nods enthusiastically. “Oh yeah, I have plenty of options. You’re gonna look so damn cute,” he grins confidently, his voice full of eagerness. You can’t help but giggle.
He carefully helps you step out of the bathroom, keeping a gentle hold on you to make sure you’re steady on your feet. You get inside of his room and you’ve been there thousands of times but today, his room felt so comforting. You wait patiently sat on his bed as he searches for something you could wear. Eddie rummages through his drawers, pushing aside piles of t-shirts and jeans until he finds a few items that catch his eye. He holds up a thin, oversized black band t-shirt and a pair of comfy gray sweatpants.
“How about these?” He says, showing them to you with a grin. “Cozy and comfy, guaranteed to make you feel nice, snuggled up and very metal.”
You’re smiling at him and that makes him feel better, knowing that you’re safe and comfortable around him. “That’s just what i need, thanks.”
Eddie smiles proudly and hands you the clothes he picked, the t-shirt and sweatpants laying neatly in your hands. "There you go. They might be a little bit big on you, but comfy is the ultimate goal right now." He waits by the door, giving you privacy. "Take your time and get dressed. Don't rush," he adds softly.
You try to put the clothes by yourself but when you lifted your arms, it hurt badly. You didn’t want to make him uncomfortable but your attempts of putting his shirt weren’t working. “Eds, can you…..help me?”
Eddie looks back, noticing your struggle and clearly sensing your discomfort. A look of concern crosses his face and he walks over to you, gently taking the shirt from your hands.
"Yeah, it’s okay," he says softly, understanding your struggle. He carefully helps you slide the shirt over your head, being mindful of your injuries. When your head finally pops out through the neck of the shirt, he can’t help but smile a little at how adorable you look in his clothes. You managed to put the rest of the clothes on your own and sat on the bed again. “Oh they really are very comfy” you say feeling the fabric on your skin
Eddie sits down beside you on the bed, a warm smile on his face. "Told you," he says, putting a lock of damp hair behind your ear. "Nothing beats the comfort of a good pair of sweatpants." His eyes shine with contentment and he takes a moment to study your face. “How are you feeling now?" He places a gentle hand on your back, his thumb softly rubbing circles against your skin.
“Much better. Thank to you.” You look into his big brown doe eyes and feel very exposed under his sight. “i’m sorry again. i feel bad for ruining your night.”
Eddie shakes his head, his expression softening. "You’ve got nothing to apologize for, don’t say that," he reassures you. "You’re not ruining anything." He gently pulls you into a comforting cuddle against his chest, wrapping his arms around you, careful not to apply too much pressure on your injured back. "Besides, this is much better than any plan I had anyway." he adds softly, his voice filled with sincerity and warmth.
Your head was once again laying on his chest. You think for a while listening to his heartbeat and you couldn’t help but say “I love you eddie” and you meant it.
Hearing your words, Eddie's heart skips a beat. He freezes for a moment, his breath catching in his throat. It’s as if time stands still for a second.
His heart flutters as a warmth spreads through him, not just from your words but also from the feeling of your body against his own. His grip around you tightens a little as he fully absorbs the magnitude of what you’ve just said.
He’s taken aback by the emotional force of your confession, but his heart responds immediately with an overwhelming sense of love and affection for you.
You could hear his heartbeats getting faster and smiled at that. A couple weeks ago, Robin accidentally told you that Eddie liked you way more than just friends. At first you thought she was joking but now you see it.
Your eyes were closed enjoying the moment but when you opened them, you looked at the clock and saw how late it was “Oh my god, it’s 3 in the morning!”
Eddie glances over at his alarm clock, taking notice of the late hour. He blinks in surprise before turning his attention back to you, a warm smile on his face. "You’re right, it is super late," he says softly, his voice filled with exhaustion but also contentment. "We should probably get some rest, huh?" he suggests, though he's reluctant to break this cozy, intimate moment.
“Yeah, we should…”
Eddie nods. "Yeah, you need to rest and heal. How about you take the bed? I’ll bunk on the couch." He knows you must be tired and in need of a comfortable and restful night’s sleep. Besides, after everything you've been through, he wants to ensure you're taken care of in every way.
“No way. You’ve done enough for me tonight. I’m not taking your bed! “ You couldn’t just take his bed like that and let him sleep on the couch.
Eddie shakes his head, a small smile on his lips. “I insist. I want you to be comfortable,” he says, his tone firm but gentle. “I can handle the couch just fine. You need a good night’s sleep and a comfy bed.” He stands up from the bed, extending his hand towards you. “C’mon, get under the blankets. I’ll get you something to drink, okay?” He said giving you no choice
“Are you sure?”
Eddie smiles softly, nodding. "I'm sure. You need rest more than I do." He squeezes your hand affectionately before letting go. "Trust me, I've slept in worse places than the couch. Now, get comfy and I'll bring you something nice to drink. Hot cocoa? Water?"
He wasn’t joking when he said you deserve all the spoiling you could have “Hmm…. how good is your hot cocoa? cause if it sucks, i’ll just take the water.”
Eddie acts offended, faking a gasp and clutching his chest in mock horror. "How good is my hot cocoa?" he repeats, feigning shock. "My cocoa's legendary, okay? It's gonna melt in your mouth and heal all your woes. But hey, have the water if you wanna miss out on that," You laughed at his reaction and he joined you.
“Alright then, bring me this legendary hot cocoa of yours.” Still giggling, you say in a mocking tone
Eddie smirks confidently and shoots you a wink. “Coming right up,” he says with a playful salute.”I’ll bring a hairbrush too. It looks like you headbanged in the shower… believe me, that’s exactly how it looks like.” He said having a memory before he leaves the room again. Heading to the kitchen, he start preparing the hot cocoa. You can hear the sound of cabinets opening and closing, as well as the clinking of mugs and spoons.
A few minutes later, he returns with two steaming mugs of hot cocoa, each topped with a generous swirl of whipped cream and a hairbrush.
"There you go miss! Your legendary cocoa, as promised," he grins, handing you one of the mugs. “Now you appreciate my drink while i brush your hair. Turn around.”
“That’s seems really good! i wasn’t expecting it to look nice” You tease him again and take a sip. Your eyes widened. “Damn, it is fucking good” you say shocked.
Eddie grins widely, a proud glint in his eyes as he watches you take a sip. "Told you it's legendary," he chuckles. "Nothing beats a well-made hot cocoa. It's all about the balance of sweetness, creaminess, and just the right amount of cocoa flavor," he says with a satisfied nod. He takes a sip from his own mug and closes his eyes for a moment to savor the taste. "Damn, I'm good." he mumbles, smirking playfully.
Once again you giggled at his words and he does so with you. Letting him finish with your hair, you finish your cocoa in silence.
Eddie carefully tucks you under the blankets after you finish your drink, making sure you're cozy and comfortable. He sits down on the edge of the bed, his gaze filled with affection and concern. "Comfy?" he asks quietly, gently stroking your hair with his fingers.
“I think i’ve never been comfier”
Eddie lets out a soft chuckle, his heart warming at your words. "Good," he replies, his voice filled with contentment. He continues to stroke your hair, the gesture gentle and soothing. "Now try to get some rest. I'm right next door if you need anything."
“Good night Eds. Thank you again”
Eddie gives you a soft smile, his eyes shining with warmth. "Good night, Y/N," he whispers, gently rubbing your arm affectionately. "You don't need to thank me. Just rest and recover. Sweet dreams." With that, he leans down and presses a light, tender kiss on your forehead, his lips lingering for a moment longer.
After he left his room, you could still feel his lips on your forehead. Maybe, tonight would change more things than you expected.
227 notes · View notes
gretavangroupie · 6 months ago
Text
Goldenrod
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Word count: 8.1k
Pairing: Josh Kiszka x Female Reader
Warnings: Language, Alcohol, Angst, Toxic Themes and Behavior, Jealousy. Smut: Kissing, Touching, Oral M!Receiving, Fingering, Dirty Talk, Unprotected Sex, Fluff.
A/N: I blame Josh Kiszka, entirely.
It’s a nice place, with tea light candles and fresh flowers on every table. Tucked away on the West side of Nashville, far from the wide eyed tourists and the flashing city lights. It’s quaint, but always busy. A reservation here would cost you. A name or your checkbook, either one will do. You wonder how he managed it, who he knows or what he does. You’d been here only once before, strings pulled and names dropped no doubt. 
The hostess led you to your table, smack dab in the center of the restaurant, commanding all the eyes and attention of the patrons around you. With a curt smile you tucked into your chair and waited for your date. You weren’t really sure why you agreed to this, but after several failed attempts on your own you finally caved. Cambry is a terrible influence and you knew better than to go on a date with a man of her choosing, but here you found yourself in a swanky restaurant at a table for two. 
You didn’t put too much effort into your outfit, opting for a tight black dress and a pair of gold earrings. It showed off your figure without revealing too much. It was tasteful and sexy, everything you want on a first date. 
You knew nothing of the man you were meeting apart from his name. Simon. Cambry assured you that he was perfect for you, claiming how similar the two of you were and citing you had similar taste in music. So, you agreed. 
You couldn’t fault him too much for being late, the traffic absolutely horrendous as you made your way through Midtown. You perused the drink menu, placing your order for a dirty martini when the waiter stopped at your table. As you sipped at the briney drink you felt a presence behind you, and you knew Simon must have arrived. 
A tall man, with long dirty blonde hair stepped up to the seat across from you, lifting his hand to shake yours. 
“Hi, I’m Simon. Sorry I’m late, the traffic–”
“Was terrible, I know,” you laugh, shaking his hand. “Y/N.”
He takes his seat as his eyes dart around your face taking you in. “You got a drink I see, any recommendations? I’ve never been here before.”
“I was wondering how you were able to pull a reservation so last minute,” you answer, pushing the drink menu towards him. 
“Ah, called up one of my buddies, works tickets down at Nissan Stadium. Was no trouble,” he boasts as if entry level ticket sales is something to be proud of. 
You smile politely and nod your head, “I got a dirty martini, they are heavy handed on the vermouth so I order gin instead of vodka.”
“Dirty, huh?” he smirks, opening the drink menu. 
You offer a clipped smile, already not liking this guy too much. His frat boy vibes are a little too strong for your liking, and quite frankly is the opposite of what you have ever been into. The waiter steps up a few seconds later, noticing that your date has arrived. 
“What can I get for you sir?”
“I don’t know what all this fancy shit is, do you have Bud Light?” he asks, rapping his knuckles against the table. 
“Um, no sir, I believe the only beer we have on tap is Thunder Ann from Jackalope,” he offers with a pleasant smile. 
“Was that English?” Simon jokes, however, it is not well received by your waiter or yourself. 
“I could bring you a sample if you’d like?” 
He blows out a breath of defeat, “I’ll just have what she’s having, but make mine stronger.”
You raise an eyebrow at his demand, silently kicking yourself for ever agreeing to this. 
The waiter nods and heads off and a sense of dread washes over you as you realize you are about to enter into forced conversation with this stranger. 
“So how do you know Cambry?” he asks, leaning back in his chair like he's at his mothers house. 
You swallow down the distaste and try to answer his question, “Cambry and I work together. She is my office suitemate.”
“Oh so you work at the little music place, too?” he asks, downplaying your career to boost his own ego. 
“I don’t think Sony Music Publishing is a ‘little music place’ but I guess everyone is entitled to their opinion,” you jest.
“What do you do there?” he asks, accepting his drink from the waiter. He takes far too large of a sip before you can answer, shocking the both of you. 
“I’m an account executive, so I do sales, client management, data reports, that kind of thing. How about you? What do you do?” you ask, genuinely curious about what he could possibly do that he would need to belittle your career. 
“Oh well, right now I am kinda just playing the corporate field so to speak. I’ve got a few sweet options in my pocket, but uh, right now I am working down at AT&T. You know that Batman looking building. It’s pretty chill,” he says in an attempt to flaunt.
“Yeah, I know it well actually. What do you do there?” you ask. 
“I’m a field sales representative,” he answers, his voice dropping a little. You feel your eyes practically bulge from their sockets. 
“So, you don’t like, physically work in the building,” you confirm. 
“I mean, I report there at the end of the day,” he replies, trying to blow smoke.
“So if you report there at the end of the day, where do you spend your day?” you ask. 
“Kind of everywhere. I do a lot of driving around. I was able to secure a deal with a new Mexican restaurant over in Hendersonville. They want full fiber and phones. Pretty sweet, might even make a commission on it,” he says pridefully. 
“Wow, a commission too? They are spoiling you,” you taunt. 
“Yeah, I’m about to move up, gonna put me into commercial sales. More office time and less road time,” he says, folding up his menu. Your mind is positively racing at how Cambry thought you two would be a perfect match when he couldn’t be more different than you. 
“So uh, what are you thinking you want to eat?” he asks. 
“I think I might do the farmhouse pasta, the sun dried tomatoes sound good,” you answer, closing your menu as well. 
“Yeah I’m gonna get a steak, I bet they are good here,” he says waving over the waiter. Your face blushes red as he makes a scene to grab his attention.
“Yes sir, we are ready to order,” Simon states, opening up his menu. “I’m gonna have the Porterhouse with mushrooms well done and can you bring a side of ketchup?” 
You think that if your eyes rolled any harder you could see your brain, but alas you must keep your composure and make it through this trainwreck of a date.  
“For you miss?”
“Yes, could I please do the farmhouse pasta? I will also do one more dirty martini,” you smile, hoping the waiter can sense the apology in your tone. 
“Great, I will be back,” he says, stepping away with the gentle nod of his head. 
The evening continues on as you listen to him tell you every uninteresting fact about himself while he dips his shoe leather of a steak in ketchup. You have a hard time finding your own meal appetizing as you watch him eat, a tiny dribble of ketchup at the corner of his lips. He barely gives you a chance to speak as he relives his fraternity glory days, telling you every close call he has ever had with the police and every famous person’s door he’s knocked on since he moved here from Mississippi. 
You down your drink probably a little too fast, trying to decide if you will need another to make it through the last part of this date. You know you will never speak to this man again, and you know you will be giving Cambry a firm talking to come Monday morning. 
The waiter steps up to the table with the check, placing it in front of Simon who sends him a puzzled look. “Oh, actually she’s getting the check tonight.”
“Am I?” you ask, a little confused yourself. You had no problem going dutch, but to be told you were taking the entire responsibility of the bill was a bit of a shock. 
“I mean, yeah, Cambry said you wanted this date, so… I figured since it was your idea, you were paying. I didn’t bring my wallet.”
You feel your mouth go dry at the audacity of his assumption. “I have no problem going dutch,” you say. 
“Yeah, it’s just I didn’t bring my wallet,” he counters, shrugging his shoulders. “I can Venmo you later or something.”
You bite your tongue as you reach for your purse, knowing there is an extremely high chance that this meal will drain his checking account. 
“It’s fine, I can get it. No problem,” you say, pulling your wallet from your purse. Just as you unzip it you feel someone walk up behind you, and the sight of a hand on the waiter's arm. The person leans towards the waiter, saying something quietly in his ear as he slips a silver metal credit card into his hand. 
As you look up you recognize the mass of curls and the crisp white linen. The smell of his cologne forever ingrained in your memory.  Your eyes flash over to Simon who is just as confused as you are, watching the interaction. A few more words are spoken between the waiter and the man you now know is Josh. Your ex. 
The waiter scurries off with Josh’s card just as he turns to face you with a shit eating grin. He then casts a lethal glance to Simon, who at this point is looking rather small. 
“Don’t you know it's distasteful to make your date pay?” he asks, venom in his voice. 
“And you are?” Simon snaps. 
“Well, from my place at the bar I thought I was the competition, but now I’m fairly positive that is not the case. My name is Josh, and I would ask yours but quite frankly I don’t care to know.”
“Josh!” you yelp. 
“What darling, you can’t deny the facts. I’ve been sitting at the bar since you arrived. Was quite the unexpected show, I must admit,” he pauses, “If I’ve misjudged your evening, which, I’m sure I haven’t based on your body language alone, please do feel free to correct me.”
“We’re actually on a date, man,” Simon speaks up, taking you and Josh both by surprise as you turn to stare at him. 
Josh just snickers, shaking his head before turning to you. “Have you had enough, sweets?”
“What do you want, Joshua?” you ask, a little annoyed at his brazenness. 
He cups your chin with his thumb and forefinger as he gives you a knowing look, “Is this what you want? You want me to go?”
You push his hand away and cross your arms over your chest, refusing to answer his question.
“Fuck this,” Simon spouts, pushing away from the table and storming out of the restaurant. 
Josh quickly takes his seat, sitting across from you as he folds his hands on the table. “You’re welcome,” he taunts, accepting the check book back from the waiter.
“A pleasure Mr. Kiszka,” he nods, walking away. 
“Mr. Kiszka? They know you by name here?” you groan, watching a sideways grin pull across his full lips. His eyes glance down to the plate of half eaten food in front of him.
“A well done steak with ketchup? My, my, darling have your standards dipped that low?” he asks, signing the receipt and closing the book. You roll your eyes and reach for your martini glass, however his hand snakes out to grab it first, tossing the rest of it back. 
“What the hell,” you growl. 
“You dumped me for a broke asshole?” he asks, sitting back in the chair. 
“He might have been broke, but I bet he could fuck me more than once every three months,” you snap, pulling ammo from your failed past. 
He clicks his tongue and shakes his head, “Now, now, retract the claws sweetness, be my good girl, yeah?”
“I’m not your anything, Josh, and I don’t know what you think is about to happen here, but I can promise you it’s not.”
He stabs at the olive in the martini glass, popping it between his lips. “You sure about that?”
“You completely derailed my date,” you bark. 
“Oh, please Y/N. You were ready to go the moment he introduced himself, late, might I add. You were entirely repulsed through dinner, and you couldn't get a word in edgewise. It may have been a year or so since we called it quits, but I still know you like the back of my hand, darling.”
“You don’t know me like that anymore, Josh.”
He chews the olive as a hum rings through his chest, “Is that why your thighs are clenched together under the table right now, for the first time tonight? Why you can’t seem to sit still, squirming everytime I look at you? The pretty pink blush on your cheeks that happened to appear as soon as I stole his seat? Because I just don’t know you anymore?”
You shake your head and look away, pushing him out of your mind. 
“Look at me, Y/N,” he demands, and instinctually you turn your head. “Own it.”
You meet his eyes and huff out an annoyed breath. “You can’t just walk up to me and think we are going to pick up where we left off. I left you for a reason, Josh.”
“Are you ready to go now that you’ve said your piece?” he asks, pushing his chair away from the table. 
“I drove myself here, and I’ll drive myself home,” you quip. 
“After two martinis, I don’t think so, sweetness. I’ll send for your car in the morning,” he insists. 
“Send for my car? What are you, the Pope?” 
“Only the one time if you remember correctly,” he jokes, offering his hand to help you stand from your chair. You take it begrudgingly, grabbing your purse and smoothing out your dress. 
“Stunning as usual, love. You know I love that silhouette on you,” he says, ushering the two of you out the door and into the parking lot. He drives a different car now, which is probably why you didn't recognize it in the lot when you arrived. 
“It wasn’t for you,” you gripe. 
“But it was for him? Mister can’t even split the check?” he counters. 
“Again, he may not be made of money, but he at least listened the few times I was able to get a word in,” you snap. 
Josh sucks his teeth as he opens the passenger door, helping you climb inside. It’s spacious and smells of new leather. A string of beads hangs from the rearview mirror and a tiny crystal lays haphazardly in the center console. He joins you seconds later, starting the car and backing out of the parking space. 
“Where are you taking me?” you question, although you’re fairly certain you know the answer. 
“Home,” he snickers, taking a right out of the parking lot. 
“You don’t know where I live, I moved,” you say, shifting your body in the seat. 
“No, no. I said, I am taking you home.”
“What if I don’t want to go?” you ask, fully lying to yourself and to him and he knows it. 
“I did always like it when you played hard to get,” he smiles, moving his hand to rest on your bare leg. “But your body gives you away everytime.”
“Where’d you find him?” he asks, letting his eyes flick over to yours for just a second. 
“Cambry,” you answer, a twinge of defeat in your voice. 
“Cambry? Come on, baby, you know she has the worst taste in men,” he groans, merging onto the freeway with ease. 
“I didn’t really have a choice, and she oversold him, clearly,” you answer. 
“So you’re still at Sony, then?”
“I am, though I’ve been considering a career change, maybe even a city change,” you lie.
“Had enough of Nashville?” he jests.
“The people that reside here,” you taunt. 
“Fair enough,” he concedes. 
His fingers trace circles into your skin, lighting little fires with every pass. “You stopped answering my calls,” he trails off. 
“That is typical of a break up Josh…”
“Baby–”
“Don’t call me that,” you snap. 
“What can I call you?” he asks. 
“Nothing, you can take me home and send my car in the morning,” you answer. 
His grip on your leg tightens, his thumb passing over your knee. You feel warm beneath his touch, a calmness washing over you. This is always how he got you. 
“It was one fight, Y/N! I know I fucked up, but–” he shouts, losing his calm and cool composure for a millisecond. 
“Josh…” you whine, not wanting to hash this out again.
As you pull up to a red light he turns to look at you, moving his hand from your leg and grabbing your hand instead. 
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. Just– come over for a little bit. Let’s talk. Catch up a little. Don’t let your night be a complete loss, you look too pretty. Let me appreciate you,” he says, squeezing your hand. 
Your eyes meet his, sparkling and encased by his thick lashes. “Okay,” you murmur. 
“Yeah?”
You roll your eyes and nod your head, “Yes, fine. Just to catch up.”
The light changes and you swear he did twenty over the speed limit the rest of the way to his house. He has a smirk on his lips that he can’t seem to shake, and his hand hasn't left yours.
“Why were you at the bar alone?” you ask, the gin making you feel a little more brave than usual. 
“I like the food, and they make my drink the right way. You know I don’t like going into the city, too many people, and the guys were all busy tonight. I think I was right where I needed to be though. Got you out of that shitty date,” he laughs. 
“It was pretty shitty,” you agree, flashing him a smile. 
“Missed that,” he says, turning into his driveway. “That smile. Lights up a room.”
“Stop,” you say, playfully pushing his shoulder. “Don’t suck up now after you were all bossy and demanding at the restaurant.”
“Worked though,” he grins, shrugging his shoulders and shutting off the car. 
“Did it?”
“You’re here…” he says, tipping his chin. 
“To talk. To catch up,” you counter. 
“Yeah, yeah, I hear you,” he says, helping you out of the car and shutting the door behind you. He guides you up to the front door with his hand on the small of your back, shoving his key into the lock and opening the door. 
You’re instantly transported back in time. A time when this was your safe place, when this was your landing pad of comfort. A home you shared together. Warm and welcoming. Until, it wasn’t. It was a big empty house with nothing but the echo of your own voice for months on end. The place you would listen to your calls ring out with no answer and texts would sit on delivered for days. 
It was hard to leave him, your personal ray of light. The good times were the greatest, and the bad times were worse than the worst. You met your breaking point and all you could think of was starting over. Living a normal life with a normal job and a normal relationship. 
You’d grown a little since that day, finding yourself and establishing your own roots in the city. You cut off contact completely. Josh never gave up though. He was persistent, you’d give him that. He tried to reconcile things, promised to fix it, promised to do better, but after so many failed attempts, you couldn’t do it anymore. You needed to see this through, for yourself. 
It took almost a year but he did stop calling. Stopped checking in. Your heart ached for him. You wondered if you’d made a mistake. You knew you never really stopped loving him. How could you stop loving someone like him? He took your heart and cast it in gold, giving a piece of himself to you to carry when he was away, but still it wasn’t enough. You needed more than he could give you then. 
“You redecorated,” you ponder. 
“A bit. Just some new furniture, art and things I picked up on the road,” he says, tossing his keys on the table. “You like it?”
You nod your head, “Yeah, I do. It feels very… you.” you pause, “It feels warm.”
He walks into the kitchen, pulling two lowball glasses from the cabinet before reaching for the tequila on top of the fridge. He holds the bottle up towards you in question and you nod your head, knowing you aren’t leaving tonight. 
He pours the tequila into the glasses, topping them with sparkling water and a handful of ice as you walk over to join him. He slides the glass to you and holds his up to tap against yours. 
“Glad you’re here, baby,” he breathes. 
“Josh…”
“Sorry, old habit,” he blushes, taking a sip of his drink. 
You join him, taking a long pull from the glass letting the bubbles slip down your throat. He made it perfect, just how you like it. 
“Shall we?” he asks, pushing off the counter top and making his way into the living room. You follow behind him taking the seat next to him on the couch. You settle into the leather cushions as he shoots up again. 
“Wait, hold on,” he says, walking across the room. He struts across the wood floors carrying himself in a way much different than you have ever seen him. He looks confident and seems to be floating. He grabs a small remote and turns down the lights, casting the room in a much dimmer light. 
“Do you always walk around like that?” you ask, sipping from the rim of your glass. 
“Like what?” he asks, returning to his place next to you. 
“Like…like you’re made of gold,” you giggle, letting the tequila warm your blood. 
“What if I am?” he challenges. 
“What, made of gold?” 
“Mhmm,” he hums. 
“Kinda seems like it sometimes,” you confess. 
“Yeah?”
“You kinda glow,” you answer. 
“Optical illusion, sweets,” he grins.
“I don’t know, you’ve always kinda been that way. Glowy…” you offer, feeling a little hazy. 
“You flirting with me now?” he asks, his lips turning up into a grin. 
“No,” you growl, “Can I not give you a compliment?”
“Absolutely. Please do continue, I’m quite enjoying it,” he laughs, throwing his arm across the back of the couch. His fingertips brush your shoulder and you shudder at the contact. 
“Has it been that long, darling?”
“What?” you question, turning to meet his eyes. His fingers graze against your skin again, goosebumps rising to the surface. 
“Oh, say it isn’t so, baby. Break my heart,” he whines. 
“What, Josh?”
“You’re touch starved aren’t you sweetness,” he says, his eyes searching yours. 
“No, I’m fine,” you lie. You look away, knowing he was always able to read you like a book. 
“Look at me, Y/N,” he snaps. You turn your head and meet his eyes again. “Don’t lie to me again. You know that never went well for you.”
You bite your lips together as your cheeks grow red hot. Part of you wants to push him a little more, force him to make good on his threat. The other part of you knows you should leave before he sucks you in. 
“Tell me how long,” he says, resting his hand on the curve of your neck. 
You blow out a breath and shake your head, “It’s not important,” you answer. 
“Is to me, always important to me,” he urges. 
“Why do you want to know?”
“I want to know that you were being taken care of,” he pauses, “I don’t think that’s a crime.”
“It’s been… a minute,” you confess. 
“Baby,” he breathes. 
“It’s fine, Josh. Really.”
“It’s not,” he snaps. “How long, love? You can tell me. It’s just me.”
“God! Since we split! Okay?! Is that what you want to hear?! That I haven’t fucked anyone since you?!” you shout, burying your head in your hands. You feel his hand rest on your back, warm and firm. 
“Oh, my love. No wonder you’re so feisty. Wound up tighter than a two dollar watch. My girl needs a little relief, doesn’t she,” he asks. 
You turn your head in your hands to look at him, his face serious and dripping with lust. You push yourself up off of the couch, pacing around the living room. 
“I don’t want your pity, Josh.”
“It’s not pity darling, you’d know if it was,” he retorts. 
“Well whatever it is, I don’t want it,” you snap. 
He blows out a deep breath and clears his throat, “I’ve had just about enough of your mouth tonight,” he growls. “Why don’t you come back over here and try again, yeah?”
You stare at him from across the room, arms crossed over your chest in an effort to conceal your nipples that have grown hard just from the demanding quality of his voice. 
“You can drop the act, I know you want me just as bad as I want you. If you want me to beg, crawl on my hands and knees for you, you know I’ll do it, but I think your body is begging for me harder than I ever could.”
You roll your eyes, and look away. 
“Am I wrong? Tell me I’m wrong.”
You huff out a breath, “No,” you whisper. 
“What’s that?”
“I said no,” you answer. 
A smirk pulls across his lips, “No, what?”
You feel your chest grow warm and you swallow thickly, “No, sir.”
He clicks his tongue, “Don’t call me sir, that's my brother. Try again, love.”
“No, baby,” you breathe. 
“That’s better. Much better. Come back over here,” he says, motioning you over with two fingers. 
He reaches for your hand as you approach him, pulling you down onto his lap. Your legs fall to either side of his hips as you straddle him, the position feeling familiar and comforting. 
“There’s my girl,” he growls, leaning forward to place his drink on the coffee table. His hands move to grip at your hips, holding you in place as he sinks a little further beneath you. It would be a lie if you said you weren’t enjoying this, feeling his hands on you and the evidence of his want as it grew beneath you. 
“Not yours, Josh,” you say, letting your hands land on his chest. 
“Liar,” he breathes, rolling his hips into you, eliciting a whine from your chest. You hear him laugh, “Your body says otherwise.”
“My body has never been able to say no to you,” you admit. 
“And that's what I love about it, baby. Mine even when you aren’t.”
A sigh falls from your lips as his thumb drags over your lips, “Kiss me, Josh,” you beg.
A grin pulls across his lips as he pulls you by the back of your neck towards him. His soft, warm lips brush yours just slightly, enough to pull a whine from your chest. 
“Now who’s begging?” he murmurs. Your eyes meet his, dark and lust filled before he crashes his lips to yours. His hands grip at your head as if he’s afraid you might fly away, his fingers twisting into your hair.
His tongue slides against yours, the taste of him so sweet and familiar. There would never be anyone that tasted better, you were sure of it. His hands slid down your face and over your shoulders, reaching for your hands as they sat on his chest. He wrapped his hands around yours, linking his fingers with yours the best he could, just holding you in a way you’ve desperately missed over the last year without him. 
“Josh…” you breathe. 
His lips break away from yours, his cheeks pink and his lips glossy, “Yeah, baby?”
You hesitate asking your question, momentarily debating whether you truly want to know or not, but you know if this night is going to continue, you have to know. 
“How long…” you pause, “How long for you?” It comes out breathless, his warm hands in yours as his lips hover over yours. 
He pulls back a touch, licking his lips and swallowing harshly, “A month or two,” he answers honestly. 
Your traitorous eyes fill with tears and you do your best to blink them away. You drop your head in an effort to conceal your emotions, knowing this is all entirely your fault to begin with. His hand releases yours and grabs your chin, forcing you to look at him. 
“They were never you. Not a single one of them could ever be you.”
You nod your head and swallow the lump in your throat, “Then why?”
“It’s been a year, baby. I never thought I’d have you again,” he confesses. 
“But you want me?” you ask, just wanting to hear him say it. 
“Is that not clear? Of course I want you. I never stopped wanting you. You stopped wanting me.”
You shake your head, “I didn’t. I swear I didn’t, I just– It was too hard, I couldn’t do it anymore. It hurt too much.”
He grabs your face in his hands again, holding eye contact with you. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry. I know I messed up. I’ve thought of it every single day since you left. I’m so sorry.”
You can see it in his eyes that he means it this time. The urgency in his voice and the trembling of his hands against your face prove it. You decide at that moment to cast the memories of the past to the wind and fall headfirst into him, the way you’ve dreamt of for months. 
You press your lips to his, smiling, “Tequila always did make you all mushy, baby.”
A smile pulls across his lips as he stands from the couch, wrapping his arms around your thighs as he makes his way to the stairs. His lips connect to your jaw, peppering kisses up and down your neck with every step he takes. 
It’s seconds before you’re tossed onto the bed. The bed you’ve missed so terribly. The bed that smells of him and his linen sheets. You melt into the comforter, your body relaxing almost immediately. Your eyes close and all you can hear is the shedding of clothes across the room, and the tinkling of beads as Josh places his necklace on the dresser. 
You feel his hand as it comes to rest on your foot, sliding up the length of your body and stopping just as it reaches the hem of your dress. You sit up on your elbows to look at him, standing at the end of the bed in his boxers. 
His gaze is fixed upon you, devouring your every inch.
“Joshy?” you breathe. 
He drops his head for a second before looking back at you, “God I haven’t heard that in so long,” he whines. “What sweetness?”
“Come lay down with me,” you ask. 
He licks his lips and crawls onto the bed, laying down next to you and resting his hand on your hip. “Hi beautiful.”
“Hi baby,” you whisper, rolling towards him. You lay your head on his shoulder, listening to his heart as it pounds erratically in his chest. 
“I missed this bed,” you whisper against his skin. 
“I missed you in this bed,” he pauses, “Terribly lonely without you.”
“Not too lonely it sounds like,” you tease, sitting up and stepping off of the bed.  
“Baby, I–”
“I’m kidding, Josh. I don’t mind. Well, not completely anyway.”
You pull the zipper on the back of your dress, letting it fall to the floor and instinctively kicking it to the chair at the side of the bed like you'd done a thousand times before. 
“So you care a little?” he smirks, taking in the sight of your matching lingerie. “Jesus, was that for him?”
“If all went well,” you answer cheekily, crawling back onto the bed. 
“Over my dead body,” he growls, grabbing your arm and pulling you to lay on top of him. 
“It was for me. I needed a little confidence boost.”
“Baby, what? Why? You were always so confident and cool,” he asks, furrowing his brow. 
“Not lately… A few failed dates will do that to you I guess,” you admit. 
“No, no no no no. Don’t let a few pricks dull your glow, sweetness. You’re everything. They’d be lucky to have you.”
You push up off of him, crawling backwards down the bed as you place a few errant kisses across his stomach. Your eyes never leave his as you stop above his waistband, sliding your nails against the elastic. 
“What if I never wanted them,” you ask. 
He sucks in a breath as your finger dips beneath the band, slightly tugging at the fabric. 
“What do you want?” he asks, his eyes searching yours. 
You pull his boxers over his hips watching his cock spring free to slap against his groin. You take him in your hand, watching as his face twists up in pleasure. 
“Tell me,” he growls through gritted teeth. 
Instead of answering him you let your tongue lick a hot stripe from his base to his tip, tasting the bitter sweetness of his precum on your tongue. His core tightens as you take him into your mouth, swirling your tongue against his length, feeling every vein and the rapid pulse pounding through him. 
His hand finds the side of your face, tucking your hair behind your ear as he watches you take him down so easily, remembering exactly how he likes it. You grip his base as you work him, hollowing your cheeks as you eyes meet his. His lips are parted, a heavy breath leaving his chest as his grip on your hair tightens. You take him farther, swallowing around his tip as he nudges the back of your throat, sending him spiraling in his own bliss. 
“Fuck, baby, please…” he begs. 
You pop off of him, a string of saliva connecting your lips to his length. “Please what?”
“Please let me fuck you,” he asnwers, panting as he desperately awaits your mouths return to him. 
“I’m kind of enjoying myself here,” you tease, taking him into your throat again. 
“Fucking hell, you’re so goddamn sexy. I fucking– I–” he stammers, groaning as you swallow around him again. 
“You think of this, baby? You miss sucking my cock? My good fucking girl,” he asks, jerking his hips up off of the bed. “You think of me like I think of you?”
You groan as your tongue swirls at his tip, letting your eyes meet his. 
“Answer me,” he demands. 
You pull off of him quickly, a spit covered mess, “Yes, yes baby,” you whine. 
“Missed your mouth, your perfect fucking mouth. Your lips, your tongue, everything,” he growls, a moan leaving his chest as you suction your mouth around him. “Pull off baby, not yet. Not ready yet.”
You do as you're told, pulling off of him and wiping your lips on the back of your hand. He grabs your chin and pulls you toward him, his wet cock laying against your panties. His lips meet yours, swollen and pink and still glistening with your spit. He’s desperate to taste you, to devour you completely. You feel his hands slide over your waist and up to your bra, unclasping the hooks and pulling the straps from your arms. He pulls it from between you in one move, before turning you to your back to take in the sight of you. 
His eyes practically bulge from his head as he looks at you. “You– You pierced your nipples? When did you? Wha– Fucking Christ.”
A smile spreads across your face. It's not very often you can catch Josh off guard like this, so you’re taking this small victory. 
“About seven months ago, on a whim,” you answer. 
“Anything else I should know about before I have a stroke?” he laughs. 
“Why don’t you just find out?” you say playfully, just wanting to see his reaction. 
He pulls the elastic of your panties over your hips, tossing the lacy garment to the floor. His tongue darts out over his lips as he looks at you, as if deciding where he wants to start. Though, you knew Josh, and he would forever be a victim to his own fascination with shiny objects. 
His lips wrap around your nipple, his tongue gently flicking over the golden barbell. You lace your fingers into his curls, scratching at his roots as his teeth graze the sensitive bud in his mouth. 
“Josh,” you whine, arching your back beneath him. 
“Mhmm,” he whines, not letting his lips detach from you. 
“Missed your touch,” you answer. 
He pulls off of your right breast and kisses his way to your left, treating your left nipple with the same reverence as the previous. You grab his hand and pull his fingers to your lips, sucking his first two digits into your mouth and letting your tongue twist against them. 
You hear him groan against you, the sensation becoming a little too overwhelming for him. 
“You okay, baby?”
He pulls off of you, still staring down at the shiny gold bars adorning your nipples. 
“No, fuck no, I’m never gonna stop thinking about these,” he says through a pant. 
A laugh bubbles up from your chest as his hand meets your chest, sliding down your stomach and stopping at your hip. 
“You gonna let me in, sweetness?” he asks, biting at his bottom lip. 
A smirk pulls at your lips as you look at him, nodding gently. His hand slides down further, his fingers dusting across your folds. Your body quivers at his gentle touch, a small grin of satisfaction on his lips. 
“You want it?”
“Stop teasing, Josh,” you whine. 
“I’m sorry, baby. I know you need it. I’ll give you what you want. You know that, right?”
You nod furiously, just wanting him to touch you. Needing it more than anything. “Yes, yes, I know. Please…”
He bends forward and presses a kiss to your stomach, two fingers sinking into your wetness. You jerk towards him as his fingertips press to your clit, a whine escaping your lips before you can stop it. He hums as his fingers start to circle through your wetness, his lip bitten firmly between his teeth. His eyes are dark as they stare into yours, watching your every move and memorizing every expression.
“You feel so good, baby. Missed this so bad,” he breathes, teasing your entrance. 
“You could have had anyone,” you whisper. 
“I didn’t want anyone. Just you.”
His fingers dip into you, finding the place they once knew so well. Your hand moves to rest on his bicep, stronger now than they once were, the muscle rounded and defined. In fact, all of him is that way. Lean and fit, stronger and more chiseled. The thought alone makes you clench around his fingers. 
“Yeah?” 
“You feel so– so different. Stronger,” you say. 
“Needed something to fill the time,” he smiles, curling his fingers inside of you. You cry out in bliss as your stomach starts to tighten. 
“So good, baby,” you cry. 
“Yeah, you gonna come for me? You gonna come right on my fingers, so needy and sweet,” he urges. His fingers are moving rapidly, working you toward your release better than you could have imagined. 
“Ease into it, baby. Don’t rush it. I’m right here, not going anywhere. I’m yours,” he says, his voice soft and comforting. 
Your eyes meet his, desperate and lust filled, “Mine?” 
He nods his head quickly, “Yours,” he pauses, “If you want, I just– I’m here, okay? Take your time, feel it. Breathe it in, savor it. I’m here.”
“I want it,” you plead.
“Have it, have me,” he breathes. 
His fingers move at a relentless pace, fingertips massaging into you with such precision it’s like a year never passed. Your chest grows hot and your stomach tightens as his eyes meet yours, both of you knowing you’re on the edge of release. 
“Do it. Take it baby,” he growls. 
“Josh,” you whine, reaching for his hand and twisting your fingers with his. His grip is tight on you, grounding you the way you need him to. 
With another flick of his thumb across your clit, you’re sent spiraling into your release. You’d never been able to replicate the way it feels when it's by his hand, and you were sure no other man could. His hand slows as your eyes open, finding his full of desire as they stare back at you. 
He grins as he presses a kiss to your mound, slowly pulling his fingers from inside you. Your body is shaking with adrenaline, the want for him coursing through you like never before. You need him. You need him now.
“Josh, now,” you pant, your chest still heaving as you catch your breath. 
He doesn’t hesitate. There are no witty remarks, no jokes, no playful banter at all. Just the need the two of you share for each other taking center stage. He pushes up and crawls up towards you, falling into the space between your legs. He pushes them further apart with his knees, fisting at his base as he stares at you. You swear you can see his heart pounding in his chest, and you know he needs this as badly as you do. 
He lowers himself down to you, brushing his tip through your folds. Your hands come up to his face, cradling his cheeks as you press your lips to his. It's different this time, a little less desperate, more intentional. He lets himself slowly sink inside of you as his lips dance with yours, filling you so fully and so completely, the way he always had. 
He bottoms out inside of you, sliding his arm beneath your hips to pull you in close. His eyes meet yours in question and you nod, letting him know you need more. He begins to slowly move his hips, rolling into you at a fairly gentle pace, soaking in every inch of you and savoring every sound that falls from your lips. 
Your hands wrap around his waist, pulling him in tighter, desperate for all of him. He groans as your chest presses against his, the coolness of the metal bars against his warm, dewy skin pulling a groan from his chest. 
“Baby,” he whines, snapping his hips into you a little harder. 
“Josh,” you answer, more of a moan. 
“I need this,” he says, moving his hand to cradle your jaw. “I need you.”
“I know, baby,” you cry out, “I know. I need you, too. I fucking need you.”
He groans as he drops his head, letting his lips connect with your neck. His hot tongue slides against your skin before he sucks the skin into a fresh pink bite. His pace quickens, his skin slick with sweat as he pounds into you. 
“Tell me that you think someone could fuck you better than this,” he growls. 
“Fuck, no. No one. No one but you, Josh. I only want you,” you answer, gripping your fingers into his ass. 
His demeanor changes, he’s grown animalistic, grunts and groans falling from his lips as he nears the peak of his release. 
“Tell me that you don’t love me anymore,” he demands.
“Josh, I–”
“Say it,” he barks. 
“I do! I do love you! You know I still fucking love you!” you cry, feeling the coil tighten in your groin. 
A cry falls from his chest, echoing around the room as his lips crash to yours. It's rough and desperate, and you know you just told him everything he’s been waiting to hear. 
“I fucking love you, Y/N,” he pants, “Don’t you ever fucking leave me again.”
You nod your head desperately, needing to feel his lips on yours again. His strokes start to quicken, hitting you long and deep as you both teeter on the edge of your orgasm. The wet sounds dancing through the air are deafening, and the heat of his breath on your face has you dizzy. 
“Josh, baby,” you whine, knowing you won't last much longer. 
“Yeah? Yeah you gonna come again? Bloom like a pretty flower just for me?” he urges, knowing the sound of his voice will push you over the edge. He nods his head, and bites his bottom lip as he watches you, squirming and panting beneath him as his cock hits you right where it belongs. 
“Come on sweetness, be my pretty flower, come for me,” he whispers against your lips. 
His hand cups at your breast as his fingers brush your piercing, letting his thumb and forefinger pinch at your nipple. The sensation is enough to bring you to the brink, letting you dive headfirst into your release. You cry out beneath him, his name falling from your lips in succession. 
“Just like that, my love. I’m here, I’ve got you,” he says, pulling you closer to him as his hips continue to work you through it. “I’m there sweetheart, tell me where.”
“You know where, I’m yours,” you plead. 
He snaps his hips into you again, holding you in place as he spills inside of you, the most beautiful noises falling from his lips. He comes down, loosening his grip on your hips as he falls slack on top of you. Your arms wrap around him, your hand drifting up into his sweaty curls as he catches his breath. 
“I mean it,” he breathes, “I do love you.” He props his head up on your chest, letting his eyes meet yours. 
“You know I love you, Josh.”
He cranes his neck forward and kisses you again, and you can almost feel the smile on his lips. “Does this mean you’ll come home? Let me love you again?”
“Is that you asking me?” you tease. 
“I’ll call the movers right now,” he taunts. 
“You forgive me for leaving you in the first place?” you ask, a hint of nervousness in your voice. 
“I deserved it. I know what I lost.”
“I keep my apartment,” you counter. 
“But you’ll be with me when I’m here?” he asks with questioning eyes. 
“If that’s what you want,” you answer. 
“No more dates with assholes who don’t deserve you?” he smirks. 
“No more dates, just you,” you nod. 
“I’ll do it right this time, give you everything. I promise.”
His lips press to yours, soft and sweet and barely there, sealing his promise and setting your heart aflame. He rolls off of you, laying next to you as close as he can get.
“You said I’m your flower,” you pause, “What kind?”
He pulls you into his side, hitching your leg up over his waist. “Hmm, a poppy perhaps? A bright red one, maybe orange.”
You giggle at the fact he has picked such an outlandish flower. “Why’s that?”
He turns his head to look at you and raises his eyebrow playfully, “The seeds are an opiate and can provide intense pleasure to the consumer, and you, my sweets, are certainly a drug to me.”
You roll your eyes and shove at his chest, feeling him pull you in tighter. He kisses your head and lets out a sigh. 
“What about me, am I a flower, darling?”
“Of course you are,” you pause, looking at him. “Too easy, you’re Goldenrod.”
“Isn’t that a weed?” he laughs, running his fingertips against your bare thigh. 
“Technically, but it’s beautiful. It’s wild and free and vibrant. Thrives in the warm sunshine and sways in the breeze. They’re made of gold, just like you,” you smile, flashing him a wink. 
“Although, it is poisonous,” you add. 
He rolls to face you completely, cupping your face in his hand as he smiles, “You know what they say…”
“What’s that,” you question. 
“The worst poison always tastes the sweetest.”
.
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Taglist: @britney-gvf @gretavanmoon @sacredstarcatcher @wetkleenex-gvf @farfromthehomelands @takenbythemadness @writingcold @builtbybrokenbells @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @fleet-of-fiction @milkgemini @gvfpal @ageofcj @dancingcarbon @highway-tuna @stardustjake @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface @gvfmarge @gracev0609 @myleftsock @literal-dead-leaf @peaceloveunitygvf @ageofbajabule @slut4lando @jordie-gvf @sadiechar @tinydancer40 @rosabellagvf @capnjaket @lyndz2names @thetroublegetssoloud71 @gretavanomens @spark-my-nature @josh-iamyour-mama @anythingforjtk @alwaysonthemend @danieljlmwagner @klarxtr @fortunatelytinybasement @demonrat444 @gretavansara @watchingover-hypegirl @hippievanfleet @digitalnomadz @raviolilegs @lipstickitty @hippievanfleet @klarxtr @strange-whorizons @do-it-jakey-baby @myownparadise96 @gvf-luna @starshine-wagner @cassiesgreta
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carlsangel · 7 months ago
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BIRTHDAY
carl grimes x reader
(you find carl the perfect gift.)
tags: fluff fluff fluff
masterlist here! (i fixed it btw)
send some more requests!!!
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You could never keep a secret from Carl, no matter how serious or how stupid he could always manage to get it out of you. All he had to do was ask repeatedly or when you got really stubborn he’d tickle it out of you. He’s just that kind of guy, he likes to know everything going on in that brain of yours. But more importantly he hates secrets.
That’s why when his birthday rolled around you had no idea what to get him or how you would even keep it from him. You’d done the classic comic gift maybe two times before already. Last year you had gotten him a vinyl for his record player and he was happy with it.
Carl didn’t care for gifts at all, he believed your presence was enough but gifts sort of just gave him something to enjoy with you. Every time you’d gotten him a comic, you read it with him. When you got him that vinyl, he listened to it with you. He was happy, so you knew whatever you got him this year was something you should enjoy too.
You decided to go out to scavenge with Glenn to see if you could find anything. You went out to a shopping center nearby and looked around there. You thought maybe you could get him a new flannel but you weren’t sure if he’d like it. You found a red flannel and realized he’d hate it.
“Hey, is this ugly?” You asked Glenn who was also digging through racks to find something for Maggie since her birthday was coming soon too. He looked over and cringed at the sight of it. “Yeah that’s- that’s pretty bad..” He looked back to the racks to dig through. “Fair.”
You were so stumped, what could he possibly want? You walk through the store some more, looking around the aisles when you hear something behind you. A small meow. You stop in your tracks and just pause. You loved cats probably as much as you loved Carl. You turn around and look to the floor to be met with the cutest little siamese kitten.
You crouch to the floor and let him walk to you. You melt at how adorable he is before gently picking him up. You need to show Glenn. When you find Glenn, his eyes are locked on the racks of clothes still. “Glenn.” You try to get his attention but his eyes wouldn’t pry away. You stick the cat out in his direction. “Glenn look.” He rolls his eyes and turns to you to be face to face with a cat and he almost jumps a little.
“Oh- jesus christ. Where…” His voice trails off when he realizes what you’re asking. “No. Nope. That thing probably has fleas.” He replies backing away. “But he doesn’t I already checked and even if he does we can treat it, can’t we? Cmonnn for Carl’s birthday.” You smile pleadingly. Glenn sighs and agrees. “Fine but if I get in trouble with Rick or Michonne, you’re dead.”
You smile and thank him. You look around the store for some more stuff you might need like the cats food or maybe a collar or something. You find everything and a couple a toys before you guys leave back to Alexandria. You knew getting back home would be tough, Carl’s birthday isn’t till tomorrow so you needed a way to hide the cat.
When you approached the gates you knew you’d have to be quick to hide him. You couldn’t ask Glenn since he’s already at risk of being scolded because Rick would usually never agree to letting you bring an animal home. So you thought of someone Rick can’t get mad at.
“That ain’t happenin.” Daryl says as you’re standing at his doorstep practically begging him to let you keep the cat there for the night. “Daryl it’s just for tonight? Please? It’s the perfect gift for him and I can’t keep it at our house he’ll find out and I don’t want it to be spoiled.” You pout. It kinda worked.
“If it shits in here you’re cleanin it up.” He grumbles, taking the cat from your hands and your bag of supplies. You thank him and praise him for doing you the favor. Now it’s just a matter of keeping it from Carl until the morning.
You and Glenn had come back from the run quite late so it shouldn’t be that hard. Maybe an hour and you can spend half of it in the shower. You walk into the house and Carl was feeding Judith dinner. “Hey how was the run?” He asks, trying to get Judith to eat the food off the spoon. “Fine.” You muster up. He’s confused as to why you’re being so short with him. “Find anything interesting?” He adds. “No. Not at all, I think i’m gonna go shower.” You make your way over to the stairs and he chose not to push it. He knew something was up, maybe you actually hadn’t found anything and you were upset about it. Or you were up to something else.
You had to wake up early the next morning in order to surprise him properly. You walked downstairs to see Carol cooking his breakfast and she flashes you a smile before going back to work. You head back over next door to collect the cat. You walk in and Daryl’s looking down in the box he had kept him in. He notices you and looks at you for a moment before speaking. “He shit in the kitchen.” He tells you before walking past you and out the door. “What the fuck, Daryl?” You giggle.
You handle it of course due to your guys’ agreement. You gather everything and head back over to finally surprise Carl. Rick and Michonne didn’t even realize you’d gotten him a cat so they found out when Carl did. They didn’t care, however, they knew the both of you would parent that thing like it was your damn newborn. You walk into your guys’ room and see he’s still soundly asleep. You gently place the cat on him as he sleeps and you poke him to wake up.
“Wh- woah what-“ Rick and Michonne giggle at how delirious he was. “Happy birthday.” You smile, waiting for him to process. He sits there for a moment to do so. “Wait we can keep it?” He croaks out. You look to Rick and Michonne and they look to each other. They look back to the both of you and nod, finally giving in. “Thank you.” He smiles as you lean down to kiss his forehead.
The rest of the day went perfectly, you guys spent the whole day together and got to do whatever it was you wanted, like going out to the woods with your new cat. Carl had his birthday dinner and afterwards you both went upstairs to rest from your eventful day.
His birthday ended perfectly. Laying in bed with his favorite person and his new kitten.
It couldn’t get any better than that.
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a/n: i hope you likedddd ittttt this one’s one of my favorites now UHHH i didn’t give the cat a specific name bc i wanna leave that to you guys to name him muehehehe lowkey reply with a name you’d give the cat :P THIS REQUEST WAS ADOOORABLE THANK YOU ♠️
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ladykailitha · 6 months ago
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Icarus Part 10
Just a little metal band Steve while the poll for what do with boy w/a bat and werewolf Steve is ongoing. Here if you want to vote.
Corroded Coffin is almost done with their album when the shit hits the fan and Eddie soothes away some of Steve's insecurities (and accidentally creates one more.)
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9
****
Eddie was grateful that with the album ninety-eight percent done the label had released Jeff and him from their jail sentence so that they could go out and be people again. Brian had also been released for good behavior, but Dr. Owens suggested that Gareth stay away from the booze and parties for awhile, so Gareth had chosen to continue the exile willingly.
So to say he was excited to see Steve without all that shit hanging over his head. It was like a rare cool breeze against his skin on a hot summer’s day.
He got a table at the bar he told Steve to meet him at and ordered their drinks. He looked around the room as his knee began to bounce. He didn’t think Steve would stand him up. Steve wasn’t like that. But what if something happened? What the new studio they got was in New York or London or Chicago? How could he suggest that to Steve? He nee–
A warm hand touched his shoulder and all anxiety vanished as Steve murmured his hello.
Steve tapped the center of his forehead as he sat down. “What’s going on inside that head of yours? I can tell you’re spiraling, you’ve got this wide-eyed panicked look to you.”
Eddie rubbed his forehead and pouted. “Everything.”
Steve sighed and tenderly took his hand. He brought it up his lips and kissed each knuckle separately.
“The music business isn’t a forgiving industry at the best of times,” he murmured gently. “But it’s really rough on relationships. All kinds of relationships. Family, friends, lovers. But you’ve got me, okay?”
Eddie let out a low shuddering breath and then nodded.
“So tell me about your day,” he said with a slightly crooked smile. “You talk to Robin and your friends?”
Steve looked around the bar and nodded. “Robin says she’s working on the change of scenery, but she’s not sure how long it’s going to take. As for the other thing... we’re split down the middle. Me and Spence want June, while Simon and Shane want January.”
Eddie cocked his head to the side. “Why the split?”
“Spence and I have hope we can get the,” he lowered his voice, “album,” he raised his voice again, “done and want the time to finish it. While the other two are clawing at the walls, chomping at the bit, and just begging for a chance to travel again.”
Eddie sighed. “I’m sorry, Stevie. We’re pretty much into editing portion of the album and agreeing on the song order. But we can tour whenever. That’s the best part about being us. We can take six months to do five shows if we wanted to and our fans would eat it up. But if your guys want to wait until next summer, then we can do that. If your guys want to leave right after the New Year, fuck we can do that too.”
Steve sighed. “The record label is just pushing us to the limits and I think even Robin is beginning to crack. First there was the mix up with our contracts then this new thing, plus the touring and everything else. It’s a lot put on her and she’s starting to go mad.”
“They like to do that, unfortunately,” Eddie agreed. “I know Celeste is a good manager, but I think that The Fallen could use an actual agent, someone to take the load off of her back.”
Steve chewed his lip. “But won’t they have to be brought in on the secret if The Fallen were to get an agent?”
“Not if you don’t want them to,” Eddie said with a shrug. “A lot people use stage names they have to have contracts. So...” he waved his hand. “I’m assuming Celeste has control of all the fiddly business stuff for each member of the band?”
Steve shrugged. “Pretty much I guess.”
“They could work through Celeste if the band doesn’t want them to know,” Eddie said with another shrug. “But I recommend bringing them in. They can’t put out fires if they don’t know there’s more than just smoke.”
Steve rubbed his bottom lip. “Yeah...I don’t know. I’m not in the band so I couldn’t say for sure, I’m only a lowly peon.”
“Maybe, but they trust you,” Eddie scoffed. “Look I get that you don’t feel like you think the band can trust someone else with this, but agents are there to protect the band. They could lose all their business if they went around blabbing shit about their clients.”
“Maybe they should just get yours,” Steve joked. “Who is it?”
“Nancy Wheeler.”
The color drained from Steve’s face and he shook his head. “We’ll find someone else. I don’t–can’t trust her with a secret that big.”
Eddie tilted his head to side as he considered Steve’s odd reaction.
“Oh shit.”
Steve laughed weakly. “Yeah, oh shit.”
Nancy was another one of Hawkins High’s alums. Bright and powerful, smart and capable. Steve could see why Corroded Coffin had gone with her. Only he couldn’t trust her to hand him a knife, much less a secret as big as this one.
They had dated before she decided that he wasn’t ambitious enough for her and dumped him for Jonathan Byers. But not before cheating on him with the guy first.
Nancy had stabbed Steve in the back once, he had no desire to give her the ammunition to do it again.
Eddie paid for their drinks, and then took his hand to lead him outside. He pulled them into a small alleyway, barely big enough to fit them both, where they would have some privacy.
Eddie took Steve’s face in his hands and pressed their foreheads together, letting their breaths mingle. Steve’s fast and panicked, Eddie’s slow and calm.
Eventually Steve’s breaths matched Eddie’s and Eddie sealed their lips together.
“You’re okay, baby,” he soothed. “I’ve got you. You’re safe in my hands. You know that right?”
Steve gasped, taking in air as if coming up from the bottom of a vast lake and break the water for the first time.
Eddie combed his fingers through Steve’s hair as the other man fought to get his emotions under control.
Steve let out one more shuddering breath and Eddie smiled. “There you are. I was getting worried for a moment there, sweetheart.”
“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “Opening up our secret to other people is always terrifying, but Nancy? That’s monster level dread right there.”
Eddie continued to run his fingers through Steve’s hair. “I understand that, but do know what would happen if she did that? She wouldn’t just lose you as a client, she would lose her whole catalogue of clients. Corroded Coffin included. And not just because of who we are to each other. It would be such a serious breech of confidentiality that she would literally be scorch earth’ing her whole career.”
Steve let out a long breath. He knew that objectively. He knew that she also could just not take him as a client. Decide that The Fallen wasn’t worth the risk.
“What if we sent in Robin as Celeste Baptiste and see what she thinks?” Eddie suggested. “You know Robin’s instinct is killer. It’s why she’s such a good manager. Or even better, why doesn’t Robin meet with Chrissy and have Chrissy go over agents with her and see what Robin thinks? That okay?”
Steve smiled and brought their lips together. “You take such good care of me, Eds. I love you so much.”
“Back ‘atcha, pretty boy.”
Eddie’s phone rang and he picked it up.
“‘Ello?”
He pinched his nose and sighed. “Yeah. How long?”
There was brief pause as he listened to the other person on the line.
“I’ll check Mancharo’s and El Dios and you check out that strip of bars a few blocks south of the hotel.”
Again he listened, his brows furrowing deeper.
“Then I’ll just hit up El Dios and let you know if I find him,” Eddie muttered and then hung up.
“Fuck!”
Steve rubbed the wrinkles between Eddie’s nose until his pinched expression soften.
“That was Jeff,” Eddie murmured when he was calm enough. “Gareth stormed out of his therapy session today and hasn’t been seen since. They thought he was in his room, but when they checked, he was gone.”
Steve ran his hands up and down Eddie’s arms soothingly. “I’m sorry, Eds. Do you want me to go with you?”
Eddie wanted to answer yes, but if Gareth saw Steve he would absolutely pitch the biggest bitch fit outside of literal toddlers.
“Nah,” he murmured instead. “You’ve had a rough day. I’ll call you when I have news, okay?”
Steve nodded. “I love you, babe.”
“Back ‘atcha, darlin’.”
Steve sighed as he watched his boyfriend hail a cab.
He pulled out his phone and went right to Gareth’s Instagram. His location was off but Steve almost recognized the background.
He called Robin and sent her the picture. “We’ve been here before, right?”
“Uh...” she said. “Yeah! Dustin’s twenty-first! The Devil’s End!”
“If you weren’t a lesbian and I wasn’t dating Eddie I would kiss you on the mouth!”
“Eww...” she huffed. “You going to tell me what this is about?”
“Meet me at the apartment and I’ll fill you in.”
Then he sent off a brief text to Eddie.
-Try The Devil’s End. It’s where we had Dustin’s birthday bash.
The reply was almost immediate.
-God I love you.
-On it, babe.
Steve smiled to himself as he put his phone away. He couldn’t repay Eddie back for how kind he had been tonight, but at least he could help with this.
He just hoped Gareth was okay.
He knew that this business could and would chew up the best of people and spit them back out again without a single care.
Having a double life helped keep Steve and his friends humble. But he had no doubts in his mind that that could change at any moment.
Because if it wasn’t the business that would do the trick, it would be the isolation of not being able to tell anyone about what they really do for a living.
If he was being honest with himself, had it not been for Eddie figuring out who he was, Steve would have bet on himself being the first to fall to the Beast.
Both of his parents were raging alcoholics and he knew for awhile there when he was in middle school, his mom had gotten into some pretty heavy drugs.
It was why his high school days were so lonely. Because his dad was either hauling her off to rehab, or going on long trips where he would cheat on her and the cycle would begin again.
But now, with Eddie to keep him grounded?
His bet was on Simon. Hands down. The guy was very insecure outside of his alter ego Asmodeus.
If Steve only knew.
Trouble was brewing on the horizon, just not in the way Steve had thought it would go.
****
Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25
Tag List: @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03
@spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie
@chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @danili666 @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach
@val-from-lawrence @goodolefashionedloverboi @i-must-potato @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog
@justforthedead89 @vecnuthy @irregular-child @yikes-a-bee @bookbinderbitch
@bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon
@cinnamon-mushroomabomination @y4r3luv @dragonmama76 @scheodingers-muppet @ellietheasexylibrarian
@thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman @eyehartart @dawners
@thespaceantwhowrites @tinyplanet95 @iamthehybrid @croatoan-like-its-hot @papergrenade
@cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars @ravenfrog @w1ll0wtr33
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ifyouknowmenahyoudontt · 3 months ago
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something that piss me off with the new jegulus craze, is mostly that in order to make that ship work (because no matter how much you believe in it it doesn’t make any sense with what we have on those characters) everything else gets erased. in order to make jegulus work they erase james and sirius’s friendship. they erased how much james cared for sirius and stood with him against him. they erased who james WAS his values and thoughts. they erased sirius’s character completely. saying that he would be mad that they “dated” and yapping about it, turning him into a dumb jealous bimbo who only cares about himself. they erased the importance OF LILY EVANS. the woman at the center of the series. the woman that fought for what she believed in all for people to take all of her personality and give it to someone who was partly responsible for her death? they erased regulus’s character gave him lilys or sirius’s or andromeda’s. they erased sirius’s strength and his story by making it about regulus, who was never abused and thought exactly like ( even more) his parents. i understand that people can ship what they ship. but like at this point this is not even the hp universe anymore. why is everything about people projecting onto characters i don’t get it. characters that had soooo much potential and depth became completely irrelevant and for what? a random ship and a loser guy that didn’t do shit but is pretty enough for people to love and to project all of their trauma on.
bring back lily. bring back sirius. bring back peter???? why is regulus the new 4th marauder??? why do pathetic facist men always get so much popularity.
what is so appealing about him over the over character that aren’t a pretty white boy but that did everything that you SAY that he did but didn’t. i truly don’t understand
and MOSTLY. why is everything so depressing now. people writing stories and adding plot lines like SA? WHY IS IT THAT IN ONE THE MOST FAMOUS FICS FOR JEGULUS FANS MARY GET SA’ED AND THEY STILL MAKE IT ABOUT HIM?????making everyone that a good person bad? what the hell is up with the projecting and why is this fandom so obsessed with adding random trauma to everything like. everything that was good and fun in this fandom is GONE.
i’m BEGGING some of you to go to therapy instead on projecting on characters and crying when people don’t agree with you.
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darkbluekies · 10 months ago
Note
I'm sorry to bother you, I just wanted to see the Yandere's reaction when they found out that their S/O has a lot of scars because of their father who was a very abusive man with their mother and their S/O when she was just a child
Warnings: abuse, murder, beating someone to death with a lamp, celebrating a death, bruises, dragging someone behind a horse, beheading,
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Silas: 
Would become furious. Everything suddenly clicked into place, all your out of pocket behaviors. He would set out every man he could find to make sure your father paid the price for what he did to you, while rescuing your mother in the mean time. She would get her own little house with Silas’s guard staying around 24/7 to make sure nothing would happen to her. Silas would stay with you the entire night, just to talk to make sure that you wouldn’t feel lonely. He would hold you close and let you talk about your childhood, giving you reassurance. 
“He will never get close to you and your mother again. If he does, I will strangle him myself. Might do it myself, actually. My men are just toying with him a little right now. What they’re doing? Let’s just say that he gets a taste of his own medicine.”
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Dr Kry: 
He would notice it when you change into the hospital gown. His heart would sink down to his stomach. He would ask you about it, and if you decided to tell him, he would sit with you and reassure you that nothing was your fault and that you were safe at the hospital. And then, he would kill your father when you were sleeping. If you didn’t tell him, he would dig out the information himself, until he got the answers he wanted … and then he would kill the father. Dr Kry wouldn’t admit that he had done it. After all, he is the sweetest doctor you’ve known, he would never have done something. But he would smile every time he thought about emptying him of blood.
“Why I’m smiling? I’m just thinking about some memories. How are you feeling? Still thinking of your dad? You shouldn’t be, it only brings you pain. The bastard’s dead now, and he will never hurt you again. Never again.”
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King Edmund:
Would have had your father dragged through the gravel on the front yard behind a horse while he stood on the stairs with his arms crossed. He would have enjoyed seeing his face scratched open on the small stones, creating a bloodstream behind him. When Edmund would have been satisfied, he would have gone over with a sword, cut his head off and kicked it around like a ball. The body and head would be burned — nothing should remain of him. Then he would return to you and hold you tightly, kissing your head over and over again. 
“I have obliviated him. He can never return. He will never hurt you again, my jewel. Do you know how much I enjoyed hurting him? I would have loved for you to watch his suffering, but you are in no state to see that. His ashes will be used in the shit bin. That’s what he deserves. I will have everyone who knew about his deeds on you beheaded and hung at the city center. I promise. The one daring to shield that scum will be dealt with.”
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Jerry: 
You would have been at your childhood home and she noticed that something was wrong. You accidentally let out that your father was a horrible man. She would shoot up from the couch right then and there and grab the nearest weapon, this time it happened to be a lamp. You ran after her, but couldn’t stop her from beating your father to death with the lamp. She would turn to you and her mother and wipe her forehead from sweat. She would reassure the two of you that the two of you get the best protection. Her men would move your mother far away, give her a new identity and shield her, all on Jerry’s demand. Jerry would lay down on the couch when you got home and hold you close to her breast. 
“He deserved this, and you know it too. Bitch deserved even more than that. You’re safe now. How about we celebrate this fucker’s death? Some champagne? Some cake? The bitch is dead, finally! Get up, let’s go buy fireworks!”
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Hedwig:
First, she would hold you in her arms, crying with you, and then she would call up her hitmen. That man would not be alive in the morning hours. You would get the news from your mother and Hedwig would pretend to not know anything while hugging you. She would smile behind your back and look worried when you looked at her. The two of you would go pick up your mom and have her stay with Hedwig until everything was settled. Hedwig would take such good care of your mother. She would buy her presents and sit with her in the evenings to talk to her, to let her clear her head. 
“Your mother is doing okay, Y/N, don’t worry about her. How about the three of us go on a little trip together. You have both deserved it so much. I love you so much, and I cherish your mother a lot. I want her to understand how much I love you and your family. He’s gone, and now it’s time for the two of you to get the life you deserve.”
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clockwayswrites · 2 years ago
Text
Like Betta Fish Do- Part 3
Masterpost of ao3 link and all parts. wc: 1263
“Sorry for intruding on your haunt! Total accident. Please don’t disembowel me. Sorry again,” Dick read off the card that had been tucked into the gift basket. He glanced from the card, to the rest of the assembled batclan, and back to the card in confusion.
Of course Dick had insisted on coming with Jason to check over Crime Alley. Of course when they found the basket Dick had insisted on bringing it back to the Cave to be tested for poisons—
“They’re bathbombs, who’s going to fucking poison bathbombs.”
“We’ve seen weirder, Jaybird.”
—and so of course the whole family was there now.
Before Dick had even let them move the basket, he checked it out for basic booby traps. (To be fair, this was the first thing Jason did too.) Once the basked had been to the Cave, it was checked over, again, by various Bats. Then, Tim had taken all the contents to run a chemical analysis on the chocolate and bathbombs (seriously, who poisons bathbombs?). And finally, Bruce gave the all clear on examining the basket itself.
Dick had snagged the little card out of it’s little envelope before Jason could even make a grab for it and read off the message. “’Please don’t disembowel me’? What the fuck, Jason.”
Jason raised his hands up with a shrug. “Don’t ask me. Sure, ‘please don’t behead me’ I could get—” he ignored the slight flinch that caused from Tim and Bruce— “But pretty sure word has gotten around that killing isn’t really my sort of MO anymore.”
Thankfully the computer beeped before they could get into all that.
Again.
Tim read over the results before announcing, “Report came back clean on everything.”
“Huh.” Dick seemed actually surprised by that. Jason was feeling really fucking done with his family.
“Perhaps a chemical inside the bathbombs that will explode when exposed to water?” Damian suggested.
Really fucking done.
“We do all get how messed up it is that your brains go there, right?” Duke asked. (Duke might be Jason’s favorite at the moment.)
“Can’t be that,” Tim said, ignoring Duke’s comment about their mental stability with practiced ease. “I took a sample core all the way to the center. It really is just a basket with bathbombs and some chocolate.”
“Sweet,” Stephanie said as she made a lunge for the box of chocolates. Jason quickly pulled the basket and its contents out of reach.
“Back off, it’s my gift,” Jason said with a snarl that was only half for show. As much as he had calmed back down, he still felt tense— like there was a heavy weight in the center of his chest.
Damian gave him a wholly unimpressed look. “Why? Do you deserve it for, and I quote, not disemboweling someone?”
“I mean, I haven’t,” Jason said with a shrug as he grabbed his helmet; the gift basket was tucked securely under the other arm.
“Jason, we have to talk about this,” Bruce said in that tone of his; the one that implied Jason was making a stupid mistake. The one he always seemed to have—
Jason shook the thoughts away. He didn’t need to tempt the Pit today by doing down that path. He could feel that green tinged anger lurking on the edge of his mind already. He kept heading to his bike. If he got out of here, the temptation to pick a fight would go away. He knew that. He just had to make the choice to walk away from the fight. “Fuck no. Look. I’ll check my system and put up new cameras or some shit, okay?”
The footage on every camera he had up around the exterior of his apartment had either shown nothing at all or had glitched out into a fuzz of static. There had been someone at his door— a slight person, dark clothing— but that's as much detail as they could get. Which was, sure, concerning, but seemed like no harm no foul. (Not that the rest of the family agreed with that assessment.)
“I’ll bring over some better cameras in a few days and check through your system,” Tim said, already turning his attention to the task.
Jason didn’t want that.
He didn’t want anyone else messing with his system. But he was starting to understand that having his hands on the information of his family was Tim’s way of showing he cared. Jason hated it, but he understood it, so he’d allow it. He owed Tim more than a little acceptance. He owed Tim so much.
“Sure thing, Replacement.”
-----
Jason spent hours going over every inch of his place when he returned. None of the traps or markers had been triggered to show that anyone had actually come inside his space. The feeling he had experienced at dinner hadn’t come back. All that he felt was a slight unease and that was easy enough to dismiss as lingering feelings from earlier in the day. It wasn’t any worse than a Pit hangover.
Finally, satisfied that his place was secure, Jason sank down onto his couch with a huff of air.
The gift basket mocked him from where it sat on the coffee table. He’d dumped it there when he first came in, ignoring the odd present in favor of making sure that his place was safe. It would have been convenient for someone to break in and set up a trap while they were off dealing with the basket, but no one had. Now both him and the Pit were settled and the basket was still there.
Who the fuck gave bathbombs for not being disemboweled?
Leaning forward, arms resting on his knees, Jason plucked out the card. It was a simple thing, just a bit of cream cardstock in a little envelope. No logo or distinguishing features. The writing was a scrawled, half cursive— just this side of legible. Distinctive, but not any handwriting that Jason recognized. It wasn’t signed.
That would have been too easy.
That was the real issue of it all, wasn’t it? Who would leave a note like that for him? Jason Todd shouldn’t be getting a note like that. Red Hood, sure, he could understand getting such a message. He hated it a little, now that he was further away from the worst of the Pit Rage, but he got it. But him as Jason? Reclusive, miraculously returned son of Bruce Wayne? Jason shouldn’t have anyone afraid of him like that.
It spoke to someone knowing of his life as vigilante turned crime boss turned vigilante again, and that was dangerous. It was dangerous for him. It was dangerous for his family. It was dangerous for Crime Alley.
It was just another fucking thing he had to deal with. As if it wasn’t enough to having only recently, officially, returned to the living. There was also the work he was trying to do as Red Hood, the work he was trying to do for Crime Alley as Jason, and the effort of trying to spend more time with his family (preferably without stabbing anyone). Now he had this mystery too.
Maybe the bathbombs actually were a good gift and didn’t that idea make him scowl. When was the last time he’d actually taken some time to just relax? It had to be a while with the size that his ‘to read’ pile had grown to was any indication.
He could use one. They were just bathbombs.
He could run a warm bath, relax, crack open a book, eat some chocolate… and just try not to worry for a bit. Nothing was going to be solved tonight. Bruce had ordered him off patrol— which normally wouldn’t stop him, but Cass had given him big worried eyes too. There were no other pressing matters. His apartment was secure…
Fuck it. He grabbed the little basket and headed to the bathroom.
Time for some self care.
-----
AN: We'll likely get a Danny scene to cap chapter 2 off, but I though this was a nice little bundle to post! And my poor migraine is going to get even worse with the Artic front so wanted to get this posted~
Thank you all for such a lovely response on the other parts! This will be going up on ao3, but I want to get at least three chapters done first to get a little buffer. Everyone who asked should be in the tag list (as of yesterday), but if I missed you, or you want to be added, just let me know in the replies!
Stay delightful my darlings!
@fisticuffsatapplebees | @thegatorsgoose | @wolfeyedwitch | @lazy-bouqet | @confusedandghostly | @glomsk | @kailithiel | @bahfev | @d4ydr34min9 | @claudiashq | @someonebored0100 | @pastalavistamf | @samgirl98 | @angelheartgamer | @lehana37 | @spiteismymiddlename | @rosecinnamonbun | @demon-cat-goes-woof | @violet-catsarelife | @trickerdi | @avelnfear | @undead-essence | @basilf1res | @amillionandonefandoms | @stealingyourbones | @sarcastic-yami | @bun-fish | @aconitewolfsbane | @dontfightmecauseillcry | @omgnectarina
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floralcavern · 8 months ago
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This fandom seriously just… frustrates me to the point where I’m writing this rant. 
This fandom does not understand flawed and complex characters. 
And, uh. Let’s talk about that. 
How they treat David and Exer:
The amount of bias this fandom holds for Exer and David is astounding. “Oh, the gay boys! They’re so sweet and wouldn’t hurt anyone!” (Paraphrasing, obviously, but this fandom does seriously put them on a pedestal)
When David and Exer were introduced, from very early on, they were shown to be heavily flawed characters. 
Exer is responsible for the entire story. He tricked Jackson to going to the girl’s changing room, which is what kicked off everything. Jackson getting bullied and harassed, Jackson eventually having his name cleared, Jackson not trusting the REDs, Jackson eventually learning about Exer’s powers, Exer having his powers found out, etc. This all started because Exer fucked with Jackson. He gaslit him to hell and back, he harassed him, he was jealous that Jackson was getting close with Brenda, his ex who he felt very possessive over. 
And David? David is a follower. He hears people saying “Jackson did something bad” and he immediately turned on Jackson, not hearing him out. Gossiping about him, talking shit to his face, letting people bully and harass him. And I understand that it was his sister, so he’s bound to feel more protective. But what happens when he learns it was actually Pamela who was ‘harassed’ by Jackson? He doesn’t care. 
And that moves me to David and Exer’s treatment of Pamela. Exer, like with Jackson, gaslit the shit out of her. He bullied her, called her a witch, called her creepy and a stalker and a liar. And he did this even though he knew she was right. He let people bully this poor girl to the point where she’s a loner with no friends and is picked on every day. 
I’m not saying Exer isn’t a good character. He actually has one of my favorite character arcs! But quit putting David and Exer on pedestals. Quit acting like they didn’t have any of the bad shit Jackson’s did to them coming. 
Speaking of Jackson…:
 Holy shit. This fandom is ruthless to Jackson Smith. And for no gosh damn reason. 
“He’s mean to Exer and David!”
Did you miss the whole ‘Exer and David harassing him in the same way they did to Pamela’ thing? They literally ruined all of his friendships and his social status. Jackson was just the new kid trying to fit in and they never gave him that chance. 
“He’s so emo and cringe!”
He is literally so depressed that he has to go to therapy. Exer and David bullied him so he is constantly guarded and has serious trust issues since they were his friends. 
“He’s using the diary to control Exer’s life and ruin it!”
Season 3 premier shows otherwise. He’s only testing out the diary to see what it can do. You telling me that if you didn’t have a magical diary that can control the universe centered around someone, you wouldn’t test it out? Don’t you lie to me. And he hasn’t even done anything horrible. In fact, he uses the diary as a way to try and help Exer and David after William kicked David out of the house. He may not like Exer, but he has good morals. He’s not going to let someone who is suffering be open to any harm. That’s why he used the diary to try and protect them both. And when it backfired, he decided to stop using the diary. He didn’t want anyone to get hurt or for anything bad to happen. 
“He beat up David!”
There we go again, putting Exer and David on pedestals. Guys, you’re blowing it way outta proportion. Jackson was in a fist fight with Exer, David tried to intervene and got kicked in the face. You know how people tell you don’t try to stop two dogs fighting unless you want to get bit? That’s what happened here. 
Jackson is literally just a traumatized kid. He lost his mom at a young age g age and moved to a new place and was hoping to make some new friends. His ‘friends’ immediately turn their backs on him and harass him. He learns one of them is behind everything that caused this? Ya, don’t tell me you wouldn’t be fucking pissed either. 
We are the audience. We have more insight to these character’s mind and situations than Jackson does. Put yourself into his perspective. 
Anyways, thank you for coming to my TED Talk. Make sure to pet Lucy-furr on your way out. 
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wheatnoodle · 1 year ago
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i love you, evangeline
og post | p1 | p2 | p3 | p4
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~🌷🌻~
“evie, babe, darling, my love. you gotta stop stressing so much. dustin’s going to like whatever you make, everything you cook is great. you’re going to pace holes into the floor and we won’t get our security deposit back,” robin says and places her hands on evie’s shoulders. the girl’s been panicking over the pasta on the stovetop, having already restarted her sauce for the third time now.
“i- i know, i know. but it’s not…about the food, robs,” evie says and tips her head back to face the ceiling once she feels tears welling behind her eyes. she can’t let her mascara run. it’s expensive.
“honey, hey,” robin is snatching a napkin off the counter to dab at evie’s waterline, her other hand cupping her face. “dustin is going to love you, no matter what. do you know how long he’s been waiting for this day? every time i see or talk to him, it’s all ‘where’s steve why are you hiding him is he dead can i see him’. he’s going to be over the moon.”
“that’s just it, robin. he misses steve and i’m not him. what if he’s disappointed, or disgusted, or he hates me, or he won’t accept it? oh my god, i don’t know if i can do this,” she can feel her breathing picking up and robin is instantly placing her hands on her shoulders.
“okay, no, hey, we’re not going to do that. we are not panicking. everything is going to go amazing. nothing bad is going to happen. you just finished a glass of wine, your emotions are gettin’ high, you are okay. we are okay. let’s breathe, yeah?” slowly, she guides evie through deep breaths, rubbing her shoulders all throughout. after a few moments, evie shuts her eyes, a sigh of relief leaving her body and her shoulders dropping. she pulls robin into a hug.
“you’re right. everything’s okay. thanks,” she mumbles into her shoulder.
“anytime. now, get out of your head, dingus. if you burn this sauce, i’m not letting you start over again,” robin smirks and pulls back to finish her setting of the small kitchen table.
just as she finishes lighting the candles in the center of the table, there’s a knock to the tune of “skunk in the barnyard”. robin’s head snaps over to evie, seeing the girl freeze just as she was about to fill their glasses.
“okay…here we go,” robin whispers and walks to the door. she pulls it open, stepping in the doorway to greet the kid, well adult, on the other side. “dustin!”
“robin!” dustin answers her cheer, wrapping his arms around her in a tight hug that’s got her feet off the ground.
“oh my god, i’ve missed you so much. when did you grow?!” robin laughs once he puts her down and they pull back to look each other in the eye.
“everyone keeps asking me that! i’ve missed you too,” he smiles and she can still see the kid he used to be. “also, what on earth is that smell because if i don’t get to consume whatever that is immediately, things may get violent.”
“that, me dear nerd, would be ms evangeline’s cooking awaiting us inside,” she smiles proudly, tilting her chin back as she prepares herself. she steps out of the way to let him in.
“dude, you didn’t tell me she can cook too! and you mean you haven’t proposed to her-“ dustin freezes as he’s about halfway through the entryway, the table in view. evie stands up straight, her cheeks tinging pink as her nerves spiked.
“dustin…” evie says softly, her voice wavering just slightly. she watches as he looks her all over. from her long, loosely curled hair, to the sparkly earrings and her makeup, pausing briefly on her figure, before going back to her face. “hey.”
“oh my god…” dustin breathes out and he’s moving in an instant. he rushes forward and his arms are tight around her waist, squeezing hard. “oh my god! oh my god, you’re alive.”
“i’m alive. i’m here,” she sniffles, one arm going around his neck, the other ruffling his hair. she doesn’t bother to fight her own tears this time when she feels and hears dustin crying in her shoulder.
“i can’t believe you’re you. holy shit,” he cries out years of waiting, years of wondering, years of confusion and betrayal. he’s so…relieved. “i missed you.”
“i missed you too, kid. fuck, i missed you.” they hold on for a few more minutes, not a word shared before dustin decides to pull back. his face is red and tear stained but he has a smile evie hasn’t seen since eddie woke up in the hospital.
“you look so good! ohohoh this is amazing!” dustin gushes, giggling excitedly. robin’s leaning against the counter with a huge smile and tears of her own she’s not so subtly trying to wipe away.
“really? you’re…okay with this?” evie asks, every ounce of insecurity dripping into her voice as she looks down at herself.
“are you kidding me? dude, i love you. every form of you. i thought you died! oh shit, should i not call you dude?” dustin pauses, eyes wide and a hand coming to cover his mouth.
“what? oh, no! dude’s fine,” she clarifies, a bit awkward.
robin snorts and walks closer, taking her own turn in ruffling dustin’s hair. “trust, she’ll let you know when somethings not.”
“so…does this mean i can stay here instead of the hotel?” dustin glances between them with his best puppy eyes.
robin and evie look over at each other, a quick silent conversation. “well i guess you can,” evie says dramatically and drops into her seat at the table.
she hides her smile behind her wine glass at dustin’s whoop of excitement.
~🌷🌻~
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dykedvonte · 3 days ago
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I saw your earlier post and you mentioned how people say things like "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" and you're so right cuz it drives me insane the way people want to hate Curly as much as Jimmy so they start saying really concerning stuff. Like is that not just victim blaming? Is saying "Curly is a grown ass man" not just rephrasing "why didn't she fight back?" It feels like the fandom think they can just say vile shit because his abuse wasn't physical (at first, and don't even get me started on anyone saying he deserved to be abused as if any kind of abuse can be justified) and he's a guy. Makes me wonder if people would bother seeing Curly as another victim if he was a woman or if discussion would be equally as insufferable because he's still not the "perfect victim" compared to Anya
It's crazy the way people say "I would've fixed everything unlike Curly" and then continue brushing off a victim and saying they deserved it. Even Curly acknowledged Anya's suffering even if he failed to help her in the end, and yet the fandom acts like this without any self-awareness (sorry for ranting like this but I'm just very tired of the fandom recently)
What worse about those comments and the sentiments is it’s often used when people are discussing him as a victim. Like acknowledging the abuse he also faced with Jimmy and that it shouldn’t matter or have an effect because he needed to “man up” and deal with it due to his position.
He needed to deal with it more effectively yes, but it is really victim blamey in the sense he should’ve just been able to. I talked about if Curly was a girl people would probably still judge her on the basis of being more experienced and accomplished and also needing to know better. The problem is that every is trying to treat what Anya and Curly went through on a comparative level. The game does not try to do that but instead tries to have their abuse parallel each other and be metaphorical, along with show the subtle and explicit ways abusers treat their victims.
People see how Jimmy and Curly parallel each other and create the idea “they deserved each other” in some weird ironic penance stance on both their parts. It’s just so odd because the game clearly shows that not a single person was deserving of their situation and especially the treatment under Jimmy at any point for any reason. The game centers around everyone paying for callous actions he commits and refuses to take responsibility for and yet the conversation center around one of his most tormented victims being questioned on how deserving he was of it/how it shouldn’t have effected him that badly.
I know you can be mad at Curly but making it out that if he was a real good man than he just would’ve had the balls to stand up to what was likely years of emotional and mental degradation still perpetuates the idea if a victim really didn’t like the treatment they would’ve just fought back harder or not put themselves into that position in the first place.
It goes back to the idea that there’s always a way to stop it and it’s on you if it happens. It’s again taking focus off the perpetrator and putting it on other aspects than the ever present source. Idk man but it’s like people are trying to make so many slightly different think pieces on MW that some just loop back to harmful rhetoric we were just moving away from.
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