#how am i supposed to be normal for the next WEEK!

[imblueeforyuu]

Yandere naga x janitor reader 

You were broke, living in a car and constantly having to take odd jobs was the norm. It wasn’t that bad actually, living in a car means you can pack up and leave whatever city you're staying in anytime. But recently you’ve gotten a job offer no one can refuse. 1000 a week to clean some snakes' cage for some billionaire. And that’s the only description  you got for the job. But damn you’d be a fool to refuse. So of course you took the job, and now you were at this gigantic mansion. 

You felt out of place. Everyone had their own uniform with the name embedded into it. And you were stuck in your cheap ass clothes. Looking at the walls you notice way too many paintings of mythical creatures. Like one or two is already a creepy amount, but this person had hallways on hallways of art of such creatures. There were none of the billionaires, which was odd, aren’t rich people supposed to be super egotistical and have one to many art of themselves? A butler led you to A fancy door, was the reptile in there? 

“The master is just in there ready to ask you some questions,” the butler said blankly. Oh, an interview, right. Dang you're not ready for an interrogation. Sigh. You walked into the room to see a very burly woman and a big ass glass wall which seemed to have the enclosure of the snake behind it. 

“Oh, you're the new piece of meat.” She smirked. What an odd way to describe you. But for 1000 a week you’ll take any abuse. The woman got up and started to examine you. You froze, you don’t really like people in your personal space especially like this. 

“Hm, you're perfect,” the lady said. So does that mean you got the job? Yaya!

she handed you a brume and sent you on your way into the enclosure. When you stepped in it was like transporting into the deep jungle. The sky was eerily realistic, there were little animals and bugs scuttling around. But no snake yet, not that you minded you’d prefer to do the job silently and quickly. Unfortunately your boss said no phone, so you couldn’t listen to music. 

Your job went as quickly as it could. You didn’t run into the snake at all which was strange because you thought it would be pretty big but apparently not. Whatever, you walk out of the cage and into the office room. Seeing your phone grabbing it and walking out of the office, the harsh reality of the never ending hallways hit you as soon as you walked out of the room. Thankfully there was another butler looking dude, dusting. You walk over towards him. He seemed shocked to see you. But got over it as soon as you asked for directions. Now you finally get to relax. The next day was pretty much the same thing. There was no snake and you just gotta chill, you convinced your boss to let you listen to music.

A month passed and you were 4000 dollars richer! And with the added bonus of free food you were finally closing a deal on a real house, well apartment. You’ve also done your job too many times. It takes like an hour max to fully clean the cage. Which is perfect because you’ve taken on a new hobby called sleeping in the cage. How could you not? It was so peaceful the sound of crickets chirping always lulled you to sleep. But one day your peaceful sleep was interrupted by an overgrown snake. 

   “Stupid human falling asleep in my presence, does he know who I am?” I said. Hating humans was always a part of who I was. Taken from my home when I was just a child and sold off towards a crazy old woman who I’m pretty sure wants to fuck me pretty much solidified that hatred. but gosh I couldn’t kill it, it was kinda cute. I slithered towards the human who was taking a nap. 

Towering over it I pause, I’ve been having trouble killing this exact human.  Normally I would eat them whenever they turned their back. But this one was different. Like there was a force pulling me closer to him. so I’ve just taken to staring at him. He’s so interesting looking, I reach my hand out and touch his hair. The human twitches slightly, I quickly pull my hand back and before I was able to hide back into the bushes he noticed me. 

Your eyes widened, why the fuck is there a 8ft snake monster just staring at you. Backing up quickly, the snake comes closer to you glaring. It looked like it wanted to murder you, and it probably did. The snake man lunged towards your neck and bit it. You scream and try to push him off. But it didn’t work. He was just a wall of mussels. Now you are a pretty strong guy. You go to the gym every other day! But this guy was on a whole different planet! You still try and push him off of course but whatever he bit you with was starting to make you sluggish and you fall back asleep. 

You wake up in a cold sweat, you try to stretch and move but something is squeezing you. Thrashing around as soon as the dread of being touched all over set in, you hated when people were too close but touching is on another planet of hate. 

“Stop struggling human,” a voice hissed out. quickly you turn your head to see whatever was holding you so close. It was the snake man. 

“There’s no point,” he continued, stretching his arms. “You're stuck with me forever,” he smirked.

 Oh well guess this is your life now, stuck with a ginormous snake man who hasn’t quite figured out the concept of personal space. 

[fishisoepic]

god i am SO CRAZY OVER TODAYS EPISODE. WHATTHWYHTBDHRGJEHTNSHRH WHAT THE FUCK !!! AAHAHHAHAHAHAHGSJRHHAHRHRGRHHRGRG

[dazais-guardian-angel]

this torture we're going through with the anime must be divine karma for slandering Bones all this time...... they said "oh, you don't like how we adapt things? you say the manga does it better?? okay then, well now there is no more manga. it's Bones or bust, bitches."

[stormyoceans]

THEY ARE SO FUCKING TENDER I NEED TO RIP MY HEART OUT AND THROW IT TO THE WOLVES

[ladyinthebluebox]

Little Dragon

am just. can't stop thinking about it.

[raisinchallah]

this is so fucked up the second my iron seems like its recovering i go back to having periods as heavy as when i was a teenager..... like can u please give me a break here im giving u perfectly good blood here why are you throwing it away!!!

[syn4k]

i normally refuse to be a truther but oh my god jordan is so aspec and he seemingly has no idea ive been watching him for a decade and its always been sooo obvious.

im not even truthing him people can do whatever they want with their identity and i'll believe tjem i dont give a shit. I just. I just started watching Mianite and i havent watched this guy seriously like ever in my seven plus years of mcyt and ive always heard about captainsparklez and just assumed he was straight and or had a partner like the rest of the dudes i watched. i didnt even know he acted like this. jupiter sent me the syndisparklez kissing comp. [guy who has had a very solid and comfortable part of his worldview completely shattered in the span of ten minutes and is staring into empty space with his head in one hand while holding a pirouette cookie like a cigarette voice] don't worry guys i'm fine i just need a minute ok? yeah no i'm. it's fine. thank you for asking

[kimmkitsuragi]

if i dont see my friends tomorrow i will literally die

[talentforlying]

my friends, if you want to be successful in school, my advice to you is not to raise your dose of ADHD meds right before hyperfixating on your twin semi-original characters whose backstories have the Most Involved Comic Lore possible. i have written 7k of backstory and i'm not even at the modern day yet. at this point i am 99% physically comprised of the first 30 issues of hellblazer, daniel bruhl's 2021 indie film passion project, and kashmiri tea. thanks for coming to the TED talk

[straylaughs]

stressed and having absolutely zero drive within me to complete anything god how is this year already off to such a great start

[ilostyou]

welp. the phantom cramps are no longer phantom 😃

[pinkfey]

messed up at work again bc no one left me instructions. feel like ending it all 😩

[raeathnos]

.

[meanderfall]

think im just going to have to fully accept that my day starts at like. 1 pm and ends at 4 am

[acityinagarden]

when you’re an only child and have a father who expects the world of you and nothing you ever do will be good enough and you thought it would end after college but you were naïve and now he’s asking you about grad school and you literally just want to walk around in a field for the rest of your life

[cummetal]

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