#and by that i mean even music... like how bad is it when music cant even do anything for me anymore
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"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"
I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming
#Kind of like some post I saw a long time ago talking about how even the meanest shittiest most difficult to get along with#elderly people or whaever still deserve to have some sort of systems in place to support them so they're not just relying on the#grace of relatives or etc. who may not be able to deal with them. Not saying that I'm like mean and cruel or anything#but the fact of the matter is in most social situations either I am compromising or the other person is. Not in like an ~`ouuu im so weirdd#nobody willever understand my quirky swagg hee heee~' way but like a.. Just factually the things that make me happy and comfortable#are often incompatible with people. The way I communicate and process things is different from the way other people do and that#is always a barrier. I cannot have ''easy''' interactions. Even with 'understanding' people there is nearly always a significant#amount of effort. You can't walk into a group of people and then be like ''okay you guys all have to wear#masks and you also cant play music too loud and also we should communicate turns of speaking very clearly so group conversations#arent too stressful. and also i need this and that and we have to do this and that and '' etc. etc. You CAN. And some people will#go along with that. but they will ALWAYS secretly resent you for it. You will be the one person they're relieved to not have to be around.#theyre glad when you dont show up since they can go back to doing things however they want and not masking and all these boring#annoying things. OR you can say none of that and just deal with the loud music and the talking and the unmasked people. but then#YOU'RE compromising. and no matter how nice they are it's exhausting to be around and youre just further alienated#while in the presence of people and uncofmrtoabel the whole time.#Which I'm not saying the only form of community is a group setting specificially but just giving that as an example lol#I just wish there were a better option than ''well learn to socialize normally or just suffer then'' . Which I know is not what people are#saying. I guess I just always feel a bit scared when 'community is the answer'. Since its not like 'oh im just socially anxious and need to#get out of my shell~!' or something thats really that remedy-able. It's like.. my mostly unchangeable physical health issues combined#with the mostly unchangable literal way that my brain processes sensory informationand other things means that interacting with#others in a normal and easy way is incredibly difficult and often exhausting especially to maintain in any longform fashion. So then#when it's like ''the answer to staying safe is to maintain longform social connections!! :3 just reach out!!'' then.. ermm... O_O#also I'm not even one of the cutesy shy emotional hermits that's nervous. I'm the Bad Stereotype emotionless robotic cold seeming#looms in the corner of the room type of thing so people have less pity on you in that way. -_- ANYWAY gghj#I need like.. a designated social representative or something.. When I did work in that bookshop forever ago they gave me a#person who basically was just with me to help communicate with others on my behalf and supervise me and stuff. I need that.. Some#more extraverted person I can latch onto and they can maintain the Social Support Network for me and I can just be their +1 to all#of the Social Things and community. I have helpful skills I can contribute to other people and stuff it's just like.. I cant socialize lol#I cook food or something for you.. then you keep me in contact with Community.. a deal. (but then what about when I'm too sick to#contribute? as is often the case. there's not much place for people like me in communities sometimes i fear.. sigh.) ***
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#ay. tomorrow might b the day i face the music#which is to say. i tell my advisor how fucked i am. i mean. ill spin it so it doesn't sound so bad#its just that ive told him like 2 weeks in a row that id send him my edited preproposal and i have not bc im too afraid to start reading#papers related to my project. which is frustrating. and like the thing is. and i kno ive said it before and i kno im not a fucking idiot#i can read papers and i can even understand what theyre broadly saying. but thats it.#zero critical thinking. zero insight. i use all my tiny fucking brain space to try to understand the words on the pages#and even then it only forms this broken fucking image of whats being said. like u dont understand. i used to struggle with writing papers bc#i couldnt fucking connect what i was saying from one paragraph to the next when i was the one doing the fucking writing.#what the fuck am i doing here? and again. im not stupid. i can follow the information if its fucking said out loud but thats not how this#works. and it just feels like sometimes there's a limit to what you're capable of and im at that fucking limit. the undergrads in my lab#have more ability to comment on papers than i do. its so fucking frustrating and i just have to live with knowing itll never get any easier#so what the fuck can i do other than drop out? theres no god damn way im gonna pass a comprehensive exam. not unless i buckel down and break#myself in half to try to retain all the information i need to. which requires that i read so many god damn papers that i cant fucking read.#just. why tf did i pick a career path where my suffering is inherent to a huge part of my job? i feel like ive consistently chosen to take#the hard path in life and ive finally stumbled too far from what is possible for me#so well see what comes out of my mouth tomorrow when i have my weekly meeting. i just feel like its my last semester#i feel like this is it. i just need someone to fucking hire me. bc everytime my lab mate mentions something abt#my project down the line or talks abt future conferences i should attend. im just like. its a nice idea but that's not happening. im just#at the end of the line and it sucks#unrelated
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yesterday at 29.5 years old I watched as many videos as I could find from my high school marching band, choir, and theater run crew days and realized I barely have any memories of my junior year of high school (13-14 years ago btw) other than feeling bad™️
#i know i was bullied by people i considered friends and theyre all super christians now which is so discordant with who i am lol#it was def a lonely year but i also like forgot the marching band show (it was p cool)#i literally cried my eyes out when i found the 2011 marching band vids#i was like there's little lost baby me and just wanted to hug her#and say itll be okay youre gonna go through things good and bad that you cant even imagine rn#also looking back im like wow most people were in choir OR band OR run crew#very very few ppl were in all of them and possibly nobody else was in all of those when i was?#i found a kid i guess 8 years younger than me who posted all his jazz band and choir and theater vids from my hs#and thats the only other person i can think of that genuinely got involved in all of those things#being a jack of all the performing arts and master of none was lonely tho#i didnt quite fit into any of the cliques bc i was half in half out of everything#its so insane how much i changed when i got to college (two weeks/14 days after my hs grad bc summer session...)#and that change was not instant#i was a swirly mess figuring out who i was for the first two years of college#i mean life is just a swirly mess of figuring out who you are#but like i got to college and realized i barely actually resonated with anything i was doing#and let go of and then relearned to love things like choral singing and playing flute#choral singing in college was so much better than high school bc it was for fun for everyone instead of the choral girls whole personality..#also the 'best' singers from my high school mostly aren't even in music today or doing any singing outside of karaoke...#at least i wrote a whole ass ep last year???#and ive written much more music that i havent released#idk rambling tags make it sound like the identity struggle never ends but dissociating and forgetting portions of ur life doesnt help lol#t#okay bye
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if i might bitch about work for a second: yesterday was hellishly bad despite being able to keep up with it and i found out that apparently our department made 4600 dollars yesterday which is making me angry beyond belieffffffff
#this is math i do fairly often bc i enjoy ho-hum math and hate my job and like#even if we took off 2000 bucks for overhead costs which feels excessive but i will concede it#that would be enough to pay everyone working a little over 860 dollars which is 300 more than what i make in a WEEK#literally WHEREEEEE IS IT WHERE IS IT GOING WHERE IS IT#i dont like following this logic through because on days where there are fewer orders we;d do less#and i disagree with gig work's implementation as ive seen it and i think that would stress people out worse than we already are#(which is significantly)#but at the same time. 850 dollars. i cant afford to buy groceries this week. 850 dollars...#can i get a BONUS or SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#it makes me soooo angry i was talking to one of the deli guys who asked for a raise and got denied mid-question#before our director accidentally showed him that their department is four thousand of gods own dollars under labor#its so revolting to me i talk to so many people in this store who are terrified because of medical bills or rent or car shit#half my department works two jobs just to get by and ALL OF THEM drive junkers#honestly one of the things thats scaring me about if i actually move out is that i do rely on...living with my mom#i pay for most of my own food i pay an absurd amount of rent to share a room with her but she's willing to drive me to work#even though i've offered to walk multiple times and she REALLY should prioritize her own time more#but at the same time...not having to pay for rides has been carrying me hard#if i got a car i'd be fucked because those things bleed money and generally ethically i disagree with cars#but if i dont its like okay pony up the money learn to navigate buses (except for sunday when they dont run) or get ready#to walk to your job where you walk all day and then walk home in the dark#which. i love walking. and listening to music on my own while walking. so bad example. but i also love not having my feet hurt#all the time always no matter what im doing which is something im becoming increasingly unfamiliar with#its like. ultimately. something's gonna get fucked no matter what#and then i hear a figure like 4600 and i remember how avoidable all of this shit is. how avoidable it is for ANY of us#our ceo is gonna walk away from this merger attempt with 5 billion dollars in safety-cushion money#the 10 top execs beneath him with 1 billion#and its just so. what can you even do. 5 billion. can a number like that even mean anything? how could you possibly need that much#850 dollars would be a lifechanging amount of money for me right now and im not even one of the worst off#its just. god. this world could be anything but what it is but its this and for what
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Can I be honest here. Finally accepting that I am an introject both explained so much and has been very healing for me. Like after being in denial for 5+ years finally just going "ok fine yeah maybe I am JD from heathers the musical" was like taking a massive weight off my shoulders. Me when I finally accept myself!!!!!! 🐬🌈✨
#herbert speaks#it also just explained a lot#like “why do i have not real memories of dying in an explosion that are distressing to me” (pointing at myself) YOU ARE JD!!!!#“why do i have such an obsession with 711 and slushies?” YOU ARE JD!!!!!!#i still want to fakeclaim myself real bad but im working on it 💪💪#the source memories became so much less distressing when i finally figured out what my issue is. like “ohhh its just source stuff i see now”#finally accepting myself and learning to live with everything!! 🐬🌈✨🐬🌈✨#kinda funny bcs I Am the Core too. like hey guys im the original person born in this body. im also JD from heathers the musical.#which means i can make jokes abt how if i wasnt a system id be a JD kinnie singlet 💀 terrifying thought tbh i cant imagine not being a sys#like what would i even do as a singlet. i would just be One Guy. what would i even do. i straight up cant even imagine that#cause even before i knew i was a system weird shit kept happening. like blacking out n when i come back my friends call me hawkstar now.#or like blinking and 4 days had passed and i couldnt tell u a single thing that happened in that time#the amnesia was badddd shoutout to system acceptance and knowledge being more available online bcs imagine if i never knew why this happened#imagine if i never figured out what a system was or found ways to communicate with my system or broke down amnesia barriers. .(shudders)#thats like. the evil timeline. where i never figure out wtf is happening to me#UGH I HAVE TO GO TO WORK NOW AND SEE MY SHITTY COWORKER that fucking SUCKS
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i like literally wish i didnt feel compelled to rewatch and relisten to the same things over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again its like actually really annoying and frustrating because i just feel like im constantly stuck in a loop doing the same things over and over but thats just literally what its like being autistic like its just frustrating cos i dont want to have to be constantly fighting with myself over it because its like okay we dont need to get stuck in the daily loop of walking in circles for hours listening to the same songs we've heard 200 times or sitting and watching things we've seen 30 times and there are better ways we could be spending our time but the compulsion is SO strong and its just Omfg like its just annoying and horrible because I have to force myself to try to break out of patterns I wish the constant compulsion I have to do the same things over and over and over and over and OVER AND OVER wasnt there at all because it would make things way easier for me and it just makes me feel so dumb.
#Like please for the love of god can we stop doing the same things over and over and go have new experiences oh my god#And i dont know its hard not to beat myself up constantly#im thinking about how im back into the same thing i was into for literally like 5 years when i was younger and i love it so much but it als#causes me despair because im like so im just spinning my wheels but like having a special interest that brings you joy your whole life is#the whole thing with being autistic and its fine but im just like ughhh UAEGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!#how it feels to go back to your old hyperfixation and its the guy with the chains on his wrists.#anyways omfg sorry that all i do on here is either post autistically about this band or agonize for some reason about being into this band.#if i could just calm the fuck down.#its literally fine but im like soooo im just walking in a circle forever and ever#but if i could just stop feeling guilty for no reason i would be having so much more fun#but the circular/obsessive thought patterns also mean i constantly worry about the same thing . when will i shut up#i just had a bad day because i basically have done nothing but stare at screens and its fine but i feel Aueahehaeufhehweughwhgdjhgdf#Its pathetic though like i have to fight with myself to pause music to even put on a podcast or something and its just so like. oh my god i#a grown adult come on#but i literally will like start an album too and then be like well i cant turn it off i have to listen to the whole thing and ill do that#with 4 albums and just walk and walk and then im like so i wasted 2 hours#etc etc its just god i dont know i feel so frustrated with myself constantly this doesnt have anything to do with a specific thing anymore#its just the general like. i do the same things every day im just stuck in this pattern of behavior constantly it makes me so frustrated#i didnt do Any of the things i actually wanted to try to do today so im just like.#im at least gonna go play guitar for a few hours
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since were living in this new age of understanding when it comes to how becoming famous (especially tabloid famous/infamous) at a young age negatively effects your mental health and psychological development i think its time that ppl start reevaluating how they talk about the sex pistols
#sex pistols#hoodie talks#i mean i would think this regardless but seriously#any conversation about the sex pistols that doesnt include just how young they were and how mistreated by the public and press they were#is an incomplete one that doesnt address crucial aspects of their story#you cannot understand why sid vicious ended up dead from suicide at 21 without talking about this!#you cannot understand why johnny rotten is the way he is now without talking about this!#johnny got famous at 19! he spent his entire adult life famous! and by famous i mean infamous aka The Bad Type Of Famous#he was the designated acceptable target of an entire nation during some of the most formative years of his life#'why is he so mean and defensive?' oh idk maybe its bc ppl stabbed him bc he sang a song they didnt like!#imagine being 20 years old and every journo in the country is either writing about you being the voice of your generation#or about how youre the spawn of satan who should be hung from the nearest lamp post#imagine youre 20 and the government is saying that shit about you too#imagine youre 20 and every single thing you say is picked at and poured over and ascribed countless different meanings#imagine youre 20 and you cant even walk down the street without being harassed by someone you dont know#imagine youre 20 and someone sticks a razor in your hand and disables you for life bc you wrote a song they didnt like#imagine youre 20 and your neighbor barges into your flat bc your music was too loud and stabs your 14 year old friend#and then when you ask the police for help they tell you that she deserved it for hanging out with you#now imagine the kind of person youd be if you lived through all of that#and now imagine that every time you ever sorta lashed out or were kinda mean ppl said 'shut up you whiny attention whore'#imagine if everyone collectively got together when you were 19 and decided that you didnt get to be a person anymore forever#thats what johnny lydon's life has been since 1975#punk rock posting
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Kevin Day listens to classical music to fall asleep when he can’t (or to chase away nightmares)
#yes Nora mentioned in the EC Kevin listens to classical music and I believe it calms him#indulgent hc by me because I can’t fall asleep rn and I’m listening to some music on repeat and I’m just thinking#which foxes will do it#Andrew and Neil won’t cuz it will cover footstep sounds and it will make them paranoid that they will miss out important sounds so not them#I mean I can see any other foxes doing it but like do they need it?#cant see any foxes having serious insomnia (except for Andrew and Neil)#but just imagine Kevin day needing to hear classical music to be able to fall asleep#becaus even when he closes his eyes he will still be able to hear the music and that will tell him how he’s no longer in the nest#because ofc riko and the master won’t let him listen to classical music to fall asleep#okay but all the foxes are so sleep deprived and tired there’s no way they can’t sleep#BUT let me be indulgent okay maybe Kevin has a hard time to fall asleep (but he’s a deep sleeper lucky him) so that’s why he’s so hard to wa#wake up#but just okay imagije sometimes Kevin cant sleep but exy videos and history will wake him up so he just play some classical music#and boom he can relax and slowly fall asleep#since then he listen to it to fall asleep (whenever he doesn’t feel too sleepy and tired or when he can feel it’s a bad day and there will b#be nightmares)#or who knows maybe Kevin day will branch out and listen to like um idk music type but those chill soothing (NOT LOFI I HATE USING MUSIC WITH#BEATS TO SLEEP) maybe just those soothing calm music and then wow he loves it and boom he listen to those to fall asleep#this is me completely projecting on Kevin day rn#btw I’m listening to snowfall on loop to try to fall asleep but it’s already 4:30am lmao#also I’m so weird I need to play just one song the entire night to fall asleep like the soothing repetitive pattern helps me fall asleep#I’ve told my frds about it and apparently I’m the ONLY one that does this none of my frds like playing a song on repeat so ig I’m weird#or it’s my insomnia but anyways#therefore I also believe Kevin day will play this one song on repeat the entire night to try to fall asleep#also I have a playlist just for sleeping and every night I choose one song to put on loop to sleep to it (there’s only a handful of songs I#I can fall asleep to so yeah I beleiev this is the exact same case with Kevin Idc#aftg#all for the game#tfc#the foxhole court
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stressed and having absolutely zero drive within me to complete anything god how is this year already off to such a great start
#hahaha how am i supposed to have 17-25 pages of a technical report i havent even started done by next week#fucking beats me !!!#not to mention completing another team assignment + another cs assignment + work#im either selling my soul or sleeping a total of 5 hours this week#my motivation has plummeted to a depth so deep i haven't felt this bad in ages#even worse i have nothing to cling on like i normally do#and by that i mean even music... like how bad is it when music cant even do anything for me anymore#i need.. i need something to look forward to until april#im turning 20 this month and i cant even be excited because im stressed out of my MIND#me on a coop term thinking: oh wow this term will be so easy im only taking 1 course there's no way it'll be as stressful as a regular term#i was so so utterly wrong oh my god#personal
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IS SHE REALLY YOURS? | Q. HUGHES43
-> quinn x jacksgf!reader
-> contains: mentions of sex and sexual acts, verbal fights, cheating, teasing, ocs created for the plot, use of y/n, lowercase intended
-> IN WHICH: y/n swears to herself and quinn that jack will never know what happened between them. however, as jack’s actions become even more questionable, quinn starts to drop hints about what he did to his girlfriend the night before, showing him two can play at the same game.
-> the HIGHLY requested pt 2 to can he get you like this! god i love this plot soooo much. don’t know if i would hate to be in this situation or adore it 🫥 anyway, hope you love it as much as i do!
18+ CONTENT BELOW THE CUT
y/n knew it was wrong.
that she fucked her boyfriends older brother. how much she enjoyed it, how good he made her feel. that she loved how it sounded when he moaned her name. that she slept in quinn’s bed in his boxers, she felt a comfort in him holding her close in his unconscious state.
y/n attempted to reach over quinn to grab his phone, afraid that she had woken up too late and leaving quinn’s room would mean certain, immediate trouble.
quinn shifted, waking up and witnessing her crawling on top of him, reaching for the side table, and ultimately failing to do so.
“well, good morning to you too, what are you doing?”
quinn’s sleepy voice was like music to her ears, “sorry, i just wanted to see what time it is,” she said, backing up to lay on her side, partly embarrassed that quinn caught her in the act.
quinn let out a chuckle, brushing the hair away from her face, then holding the nape of her neck to bring her into a sweet kiss.
he inhaled with satisfaction, “you don’t need to know what time it is,” he mumbled against her lips, breaking away to place a kiss on her jawline.
“i do, it’s going to look pretty bad if jack is awake and i come out of your room. especially looking… like this.” y/n remarked, her chest branded with quinn’s mark.
quinn briefly looked at his phone screen, “it’s 7:50, still pretty early. you should be good,”
y/n felt a relief, thinking the worst, that it was later in the morning and everyone else was already awake and that she would have to bring the million dollar excuse to the table of why she was coming out of quinn’s room instead of her own, or jacks.
y/n got up off the bed to look for her shirt and shorts, only to realize that her shirt was still splayed over the kitchen counter.
“fuck”, she whispered to herself, cursing at her forgetfulness.
“can you go get my shirt from the kitchen? i don’t want to walk out there in just a bra and shorts.”
got up and ruffled his hair, his broad shoulders displaying just noticeable scratch marks down them. instead of leaving the room, he went into his closet.
“just wear one of mine,” he said casually,
y/n knew he wasn’t going to get it, and she sure as hell wasn’t either. no one was going to see her in it, so who cares?
quinn tossed her an oversized shirt, a grey one with the classic canucks logo on it. she shot him a look,
“seriously? quinn i cant wear this. what am i going to say to jack if he sees this in my room?” she held the t-shirt in her hands, flustered just at the thought of wearing quinn’s shirt.
“you’ll be fine, you worry too much,” quinn was so casual in his demeanor, some may say it was off putting, but that’s just how he was.
y/n slipped the shirt over her head, engulfed by quinn’s familiar and newly intoxicating scent.
“see you for breakfast then?” she said, standing by the door, holding out the boxers he lent her the night before.
“always,” he said, taking the boxers from her hand before biting his lip and slapping her ass as she left his room.
“quinn!”
“sorry, just had to,” quinn laughed, then closed the door behind her.
was any of this real? she thought to herself.
y/n quietly shuffled into the kitchen, grabbing her shirt that was, in fact, splayed over the kitchen counter. she hurried back to her room in a quiet run, softly closing the door and finally letting out the breath she was holding in.
she took off quinn’s shirt and replaced it with her own, his scent still lingering on her. y/n’s mind went blank, wondering how everything was going to be from now on. sure, jack didn’t know. he will never know. but now that she had done this with quinn, what does that mean for them?
she knew she couldn’t have them both, that she couldn’t just end things with jack just to move on to his older brother.
y/n snapped out of it, shoving quinn’s shirt deep into her dresser, where hopefully no one would find it.
——————————————————————————
10:23am
y/n thought this was a safe enough time to leave her room, this being the hour she usually emerges to the living room. but this time she had been up for hours before hand, laying down, a million thoughts firing at once.
she walked down to the kitchen, no quinn or jack, or alana in sight, just april and luke.
“morning guys, the others aren’t up yet?”
luke yawned, “morning, quinn isn’t up but alana and jack are.”
y/n tried her best to keep a poker face, but she felt her heart sink at hearing that they were up but no where in sight.
“oh. where’s jack then?”
she didn’t give a shit about where alana was, as long as it wasn’t with jack.
“he took her out on the jetski, they left like 10 minutes ago,” april let out quickly, avoiding eye contact with y/n.
great.
in almost weird, perfect timing, both quinn came out of his room as alana and jack came up from the dock.
a few good mornings were shared, jack walking over to y/n sitting at the kitchen barstool, placing a quick soft kiss on her cheek. quinn smirked while watching, her head dipping down slightly to hide the pink hue dressed on her face.
jack, for once in his life it seemed like, noticed, and he gave quinn a weird look.
“what’s up with you bud?” he smiled, passing his older brother in the kitchen.
quinn poured himself coffee, back to his brother, covering the devilish smile he had on his face.
“nothing, just slept really good last night, ya know? bed felt extra comfortable,” he said casually, sipping his coffee then facing jack with a nonchalant look.
y/n held her breath, thinking she was going to pass out either from lack of air or whatever the fuck game quinn was playing.
she was so focused on the interaction playing out in front of them, she didn’t notice the other three leaving, april tugging her friend into luke’s room, and him by the door listening to their conversation.
thankfully jack thought nothing of quinn’s remark, and he chuckled at his brother, “yeah i get you. all of us should get down to the water, it’s a super nice day out.”
he would know that. he’s already been out with alana today.
but she couldn’t go out today. not with the situation going on with her chest.
“i’ll probably just stay in-”
“-how about a boat day? i’ll come with this time. all of us.” quinn was quick to cut her off, and she couldn’t control the eye roll that came after.
jack nodded in agreement, “i’ll go tell the others,”
god, what did she get herself in to?
——————————————————————————
the weather was perfect, a calm summer day to pair with the pure anxiety she had on this boat ride. a secret under her shirt, and thankfully, quinn had his on too.
everything was fine for the most part, she was sitting next to jack, legs resting on his lap, and his arm gently draped over them.
the only thing that wasn’t fine, was that alana was still wearing his fucking hat. that she was taking pictures in it, and that they just could not stop talking to each other.
y/n looked at quinn’s focused expression steering the boat, and he looked back at her, then glancing at jack and alana. he slowed the boat, until it came to a complete stop.
“we should anchor here, too nice to not swim,”
she held her breath, again.
and to her horror, quinn peeled his shirt off, scratch marks in full visibility across his back.
luke was the first to notice, “dude, did you fuck someone last night?” after luke’s comment, the rest of them all turned their heads to see what he was talking about.
“damn Q, you’re an animal,” jack followed, “when did you leave the house to smash?”
“i didn’t, she came to ours.”
y/n’s heart stopped.
“who?” april asked, everyone curious about quinn’s secret woman of the night.
“yeah quinn, who?” y/n asked, gaze not leaving him, clenching her thumbs in her hands to prevent anyone seeing them from shaking.
“not telling. wanna see where it goes. but she lives really close,” he dived into the water, luke and april following after.
god what was he doing? does he think this is funny?
jack tapped her legs, signaling her to move, and she did. he walked towards the edge of the boat, noticing y/n didn’t soon follow after.
“you’re not going to get in? you love swimming,”
guilt hit her like a truck.
“i really dont feel well, i think swimming will just make me feel sicker,” she lied through her teeth, wrapping her arms around her body to sweeten the lie.
“don’t worry, i’ll swim with you jack!” a piercing voice said, y/n scoffed as alana skipped to where jack was, pushing him in.
she looked back at y/n, the two holding eye contact for just a moment before jack grabbed alana’s arm and pulled her into the water.
whatever.
the guilt was fading away, and as y/n looked out into the water, she didn’t notice april looking at her with a face of concern.
——————————————————————————
the ride back to the house brought familiar feelings back to her.
quinn decided to keep his shirt off, which she knew was 100%, undeniably, intentional. her evidence on him was on display for everyone, and her mind faded in a daydream of clawing into his back, pornographic moans emitting from her lips, all while he fucked her senselessly.
she needed to be alone.
y/n didn’t wait for anyone, instead booking it straight back into the house. she threw herself onto her bed, groaning into the plush pillows as she gripped her hair so tight she thought she might rip it out.
in her tantrum of panic, there was a knock at her door.
she didn’t know who she was hoping it was. jack? quinn? both?
neither.
it was april.
“hey,” she smiled softly at y/n before speaking again, “can we talk?”
“yeah, of course,” y/n held open the door to let april in to her room, the girl sitting on the edge of the bed, tensed up.
she never hated april. she actually found her really nice, thought she was a good fit for luke. they’d always gotten along, even going on double dates with her and jack.
“are you okay? what’s up?” she sat next to her, crossing her legs on the bed.
april inhaled deeply, in contemplation of her words.
“y/n, there’s something you should know.”
her heart stopped.
“what is it?”
“jack… and alana. i know she’s my friend but you deserve to know this. i mean you’ve seen it yourself she’s been throwing herself at jack this whole time. i keep telling her to stop but she just won’t, and i think they might have kissed on the dock.”
she felt like she was going to pass out, her throat burning with heartache. it hurt extra because she had no right to feel this way. she was the one who cheated on him first. or did she even? it was an impossible situation.
“how do you know?”
y/n could tell april was trying not to cry, her own personal guilt coming out, “the other day, when you went to your room after dinner, alana and jack went down to the dock, just the two of them. i could see through the windows he was leaned over her, and she had her hand on his chest. that’s why i don’t know if they did for sure, and alana refuses to tell me.”
any guilt, all guilt she had in her situation was gone. at least she had the reservations to cheat on the low, and not be so embarrassingly blatant about it.
she hated it. she hated him.
y/n contemplated in this moment what she should do. should she tell april what her and quinn did? that they were both just another chain in the link of cheaters?
she was going to fake sadness, but the tears flew out unconsciously.
“thank you for telling me. i appreciate it.”
april nodded, and the two held a long, comforting hug.
“you’re welcome, and i’m sorry. i don’t know what you want to do but she’ll be gone in a few days, if you wanted to confront jack then.”
“yeah, good idea,” april gave her one last smile before getting up,
“i’ll be down by the water if you need anything, you know where to find me.”
y/n gave her a thumbs up, and with a gentle click of the lock, april left.
she waited a couple minutes, enough time for her to be gone, then shuffled over to quinn’s room. his door was shut and there was no noise to be heard, but she prayed he would answer when she knocked.
and he did.
“hey, hey, what happened?” his look softened, instinctively holding her face in hands, wiping her tear ridden face.
“jack cheated. he fucking cheated before we even did anything quinn. that night… the night i went to my room, he kissed her, he kissed alana on the dock. he was almost on top of her and she had her hand on his chest.”
her voice trembled, she held up her hands to hold quinn’s arms to keep her standing, feeling that if she didn’t, she would come crumbling to the floor.
quinn’s soft expression quickly morphed into a look of anger,
“how do you know that?”
“april told me,” y/n sobbed.
“oh, y/n,” he pulled her into his room, engulfing her in a hug, resting his face on the top of her head as he rubbed gentle circles on her back.
“everything’s going to be fine, okay? it’s gonna be just fine. do you trust me?”
she looked up at him with glossy eyes, not a hint of deceit in his face.
“yes, i trust you quinn.”
he kissed the tip of her nose, her tear stained cheeks, then her puffy red lips.
“good. lay down with me for now, i don’t want you upset all alone,”
she nodded, taking quinn’s hand and following to his bed, where he wrapped the blanket and himself around her, soothing the hiccuping sobs while massaging her body, and whispering that she was okay, and he was here.
——————————————————————————
y/n woke up in quinn’s bed.
but he was nowhere to be found.
stretching and rubbing her puffy eyes, she got up from the warm comfort of quinn’s bed. creaking open the door to see if anyone was up. when the coast was clear, y/n slipped out of quinn’s room and down to the main level.
she was greeted with everyone else, luke and quinn in the kitchen cooking dinner, and the others resting around the living room.
quinn looked over at y/n, waving her over to the kitchen.
“quite the napper recently aren’t you?” he joked, leaning his body slightly towards her, “you okay?” he whispered.
“i’m fine,” she said back, quinn holding her waist for just a few seconds then back to the cutting board before anyone could notice.
“go relax, dinner will be ready soon,”
she jokingly saluted him, taking the empty seat next to april on the couch, luke and jack occupying the chairs whilst they played video games.
she gave her a side hug, and y/n rested her head softly on april’s shoulder. her eyes glanced to alana, who was already looking at her, jaw tight and a deep look of annoyance on her face.
cant wait for a great family dinner.
——————————————————————————
y/n actually felt okay enough to talk.
it felt like everything was back to the way it was before, everyone was in the conversation. laughing, joking, enjoying it all together.
“so Q, you gotta tell us, who’s the chick you hooked up with?” jack asked, still rolling in curiously over who his older brother secretly had in his bed.
aaaaand there it was. back to reality.
quinn wiped his mouth and looked at jack coldly, “why do you want to know so bad?”
everyone looked taken aback at quinn’s defensive reaction,
“chill, i was just wondering. we all were trying to think of who it could be but came up blank.”
luke chimed in, “is she hot?”
“very.”
she could hear her heart beat pounding into her ears.
“how did you meet?”
“through someone else.”
“was it good?”
“even better than i imagined in my head.”
y/n’s chest felt like that of a hummingbird, unable to slow the pulse of her heart.
quinn crossed his arms on the table, “actually, i have a question for you jack.”
god, why was he doing this now? couldn’t he wait a few days?
“yeah?”
“what were you doing at the dock with alana the other night?”
here we fucking go.
jack stared blankly at quinn, the whole table fell into silence. his brother stared back, his expression unwavering.
“what are you talking about?”
“you two were there. her hand was on your chest, you were all over her. what’s up with that?”
jack stared at his brother blankly, placing his hand on y/n’s thigh with a soft squeeze.
“baby it’s not true, i promise. he’s lying,”
“i saw it for myself. alana?” quinn shifted the conversation to her, clearly annoyed that jack disregarded his question.
alana said nothing, jacks head whipping around to look at her, pleading blue eyes filled with nothing but guilt. she took her head in her hands, and just barely nodded in confession.
jack begun to panic, moving his hand up to caress y/n’s face, anything to save himself.
“baby i promise it’s not what you think. you’re all mine, i-”
“is she though?” quinn stood, leaning over the table slightly, a dark sound in his voice.
“what the hell are you talking about quinn?”
“you know… last night, she cried to me. cried to me about how shitty you were being, how little love you were giving her, how little attention gave to her. so i did.”
if looks could kill, jack and quinn would have matching wounds.
“what are you getting at?”
“i fucked her. in my bed. yeah, she was so fucking sexy moaning my name, i even made her cum. hard. ever get her like that jack? hm?”
no one else could say a word. luke’s mouth was hung open in shock, april’s covered by two hands, and alana with an unreadable expression.
y/n turned away, unable to look him in the eye,
“is all this true? look at me.”
she refused, instead nodding with a quivering lip, tears coating her closed lashes.
jack scoffed, “unbelievable, you are fucking unbelievable,” he was stood up now too, a hand gripped through his hair.
that’s when her emotions turned into a complete 180, appalled at his words,
“me? i’m unbelievable? you just spent the past couple days flirting with alana, come to find out you kissed her, and you think you get the only right to be mad? you need to fucking leave.”
“leave, you know this is also my house right?”
“jack…” luke’s voice trailed off, disappointment lingering, “you should go.”
“you’re kidding?”
“no. go to your apartment in jersey, go to mom and dads, anywhere, but you can’t be here for the rest of the summer.”
jack rubbed a hand on his mouth before slamming his fists on the table, grabbing alana’s hand, and ascending up to his room, likely to pack all their things.
y/n’s silent tears now turned into loud sobs, paining her each time she took a breath. quinn held her first, april and luke soon to wrap their arms around the pair too.
——————————————————————————
cleaning up after dinner was silent.
no one dared to speak, the loudest noise in the room being the familiar soft hum of the refrigerator.
they had all made their way to the living room after, y/n with her legs pulled up to her chest, leaned on quinn, the well known crumbling feeling just around the corner from her.
about an hour had passed since jack and alana went up, and now footsteps trailed down, them both emerging with packed suit cases.
together? who knows.
who cares.
the silence was still kept when they stepped towards the door, y/n only standing up when jack looked at her.
“hope you realize he just used you. used you because you were vulnerable, and easy. don’t forget that.”
the door slammed shut.
“you two definitely need some time alone,” april said softly, fiddling with the fingers in her lap.
“agreed, we’re gonna go to my room, you all got the floor, Q” luke chimed, putting an arm around april. as he tapped quinn’s shoulder and lovingly messed up y/n’s hair, they went to luke’s room, leaving just quinn and her left.
“and then there were two.” quinn said lightheartedly, his laugh fixing the dark aura that surrounded them previously.
“yeah, just us.”
“i always wanted it to be just us.”
she was in shock, especially considering her and jack dated for almost two years, and she knew the hughes family even longer before.
“quinn,” she began,
“i promise. i’ve wanted to give you everything for so long. i was crushed when jack told me he had feelings for you, but i pushed mine aside because i wanted him to be happy. but i knew i could be better for you,”
she wrap her arms around his neck, eyes going over all his gorgeous features, lip slightly quivering at his resemblance to jack.
“i had no idea quinn, if i knew… things could’ve been so different. but right now, i do want you. but i need time, it’s so fresh,” she almost framed it as a question, nervously awaiting what quinn was going to say.
“that’s okay, i’ll wait forever if i have to. right now, let’s just enjoy the rest of the summer yeah, how’s that sound?”
she smiled, bringing her head down to fully hug him,
“that sounds really good, but what about you and jack?” quinn’s face was unwavering, not a hint of worry or fear present.
“me and jack can figure our shit out later. it’ll all be okay,” he turned his head to kiss her temple reassuringly. y/n knew he was being truthful, every time quinn said something would be okay, it would be.
with his sweet words, she was ready to soak all of him into her. she was really all his.
——————————————————————————
© missqhughes
xoxo, kaia
#jack hughes#luke hughes#nhl imagine#quinn hughes#nhl fic#jack hughes x reader#lh43#luke hughes fanfic#luke hughes x oc#jh86#qh43#quinn hughes x y/n#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes smut#nhl#nj devils#vancover canucks#hockey#quinn hughes fanfiction#jack hughes x oc
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YES I KNOW THAT HE’S MY EX! | TOM BLYTH
pairing. tom blyth x fem!actress!reader
summary. you knew tom was your ex, and that you should probably stay away, but that’s never stopped you before
part 1 | installment of this au (please read for more context!)
ynuser :)
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user1 im loving the aesthetic
user2 THE BIKINI TOP IS SO CUTE
user3 put them toes awayyyy
rachelzegler i pay attention to things that most people ignore (this isn’t your car.)
➥ user4 PLEASE?? not rachel using yn’s own lyrics on her
➥ user5 IS THIS TOM’S CAR??
user6 i may be delulu but those r tom blyth’s mfing hands.
user7 he has her hair tie on; i repeat, tom blyth literally has yn’s hair tie on
When Tom had messaged you saying he wanted to talk, no matter how much you knew it was a bad idea, you decided to agree to it anyway.
The breakup had ended pretty badly. Although it was an agreement between you and Tom, that didn’t mean that’s what the both of you truly wanted.
The reason the two of you broke up in the first place was that Tom was talking too much about your future, which wasn’t a bad thing — but it overwhelmed you. You weren’t ready to settle down, not yet, at least. You and Tom had only been dating for a few months, and although it was all sweet and loving, you knew that getting engaged this early was like asking for a disaster to strike.
He was upset. Clearly. He loved you, you loved him, so why was it such an inconvenience for you to agree to take the leap in your relationship? That caused a blown out argument between you two, and by the end of it, you had agreed breaking up was the right thing.
You had a acting and music career to focus on, and Tom had an acting career that was just at the beginning of its success. You felt that it wasn’t right to put a distraction into his life.
“Is this a bad idea?” You ask breathlessly as you pull away from the kiss. You can’t help but stare into Tom’s eyes, which held a language of their own.
“Maybe,” he says, wiping the corner of your mouth. “But who cares?”
Who cares. Right. Well surely, it was a bad idea to meet up with your ex, much less kiss him, and although alarms were baring in your head that you probably shouldn’t—you go in for a second kiss, this time, Tom doesn’t let you go, cradling you close to his body.
“I don’t care if you don’t want to take the next step in our relationship, I’m fine if you’re not ready yet. I just want you, okay?”
And how could any girl possibly reject Tom Blyth when he’s begging so prettily? Certainly not you.
tomblyth and ynuser both posted an instagram story !
ynsbiggestfan THE GIRLS AND I AFTER SEEING THE STORIES ON INSTA
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user8 IM ACTUALLY DYING BC NO WAY WAS THAT A COINCIDENCE
user9 they’re connected they cant be far away from each other
user10 she’s my Heather 💔💔
➥ user12 fr i wish tom was that inlove w me
user13 so this is why rachel said that wasn’t yn’s car
➥ user14 ITS ALL MAKING SENSE NOW
sean.kauf photo dumpy
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ynuser pic creds ?? 🤬
➥ sean.kauf 🤓🤓
user15 wait im confused, is she together with tom again or is she with sean..
user16 Ykw i cant even be mad, if i was as hot as yn, i’d have two bfs too!
➥ user17 REAL SHIIT
tomblyth fun fact: the 2nd pic is sean third wheeling after forcing me and yn to speak to each other
➥ user17 TOM CONFIRMED IT IM DEAD
user18 all the yn haters must feel stupid asf rn after accusing yn of being with sean
➥ user19 literally cause all 3 of them are literally close 😭😭 like why would sean date yn, he’s literally friends with tom
user20 if yn isn’t dating sean let me have him omg
ynuser yes i know that he’s my ex but can’t two people reconnect !!!!!
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user21 this took the cake.
user22 time to cry again bc tom blyth is off the market
user23 she got him wrapped around her finger FR
user24 THE THIRD PIC OF THEM 🥹🥹
user25 THE CAPTION OUUU GIRLY IS BRAVE
tomblyth i only see you as a friend (the biggest lie i’ve ever said)
➥ user26 I CHOKED
➥ user27 THEIR SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGERS ARE CRYING RN
#coriolanus snow angst#coriolanus snow x you#coriolanus snow smut#coriolanus snow imagine#coriolanus snow fanfiction#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus snow#tom blyth x reader#tom blyth#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#the hunger games x reader
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To the moon and to Saturn 🪐
Lando Norris x Model!Reader
socmed au
summary: where they give the audience chaos because of their rumored "breakup"
warning/s: sexual innuendos (if you squint)
author's note: just a little something to get me out of writing slump 🥹 there's a part 2 to this fic if you wanna check it out🫶
yourusername
liked by danielricciardo, lilymhe, and 203,839 others
yourusername busy week
view 2,394 comments...
user1 MOTHER IS MOTHERING
user2 PLEASE MARRY ME
user3 mother is living her best life and im here for it
user4 GET OUT OF THE WAY LANDO IM GONNA STEAL HER
user5 kinda sus no lando in the comments simping over how hot she is
user6 TRUE he usually comments and likes her post like a second after she posted it 😭
user7 there's got to be something
user8 no there's just something wrong in y'all's head...
user9 yeah leave them and their relationship alone
yourfriend back and better in black
liked by yourusername
user10 interesting...🥴
user11 what do they mean by this😭
user12 maybe because it's been awhile since yn got back in modeling after her supporting lando and going on a vacation with him?
user13 you guys are reading into this too much
lando.jpg
liked by maxfewtrell, pierregasly, and 897,475 others
lando.jpg parties and a tad bit hungover...
view 23,495 comments...
user1 YOU CAN'T JUST POST THE 2ND PHOTO AND GET AWAY WITH IT
user2 i believe he's thirst trapping his way out of the issue
user3 what issue?
user2 some are saying him and yn broke up
user3 lol people are too obsessed with their relationship im not surprised we won't get any posts from them anymore lol
user2 true
maxfewtrell nice music but please don't throw up on me next time
maxverstappen1 why was i not invited
landonorris you were busy with something else🙄🙄🙄
maxverstappen1 oh i see you're still on it...
user4 am i delusional if i think this is about yn ?????
user5 babes im gonna be delusional with u
user6 yeah no❤️
user4 what if they just fought?
user6 what if you all leave them alone lol
danielricciardo nice party, hoping for that one more important invite next time😜
liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1, and 237 others
user7 don't mean to ruin the vibes but where's my girl yn :((
yourusername
liked by charlottesine, isahernaez, yourfriend, and 890,938 others
yourusername welcome to new york
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user1 THE GIRLS ARE BACK
user2 THEY'RE SO HOT
user3 WAIT SHE'S IN NEW YORK???
user4 CAN'T BELIEVE MOTHER AND I ARE BREATHING THE SAME AIR
user5 im sorry but it's been like a month of them not posting each other😭
user6 it's been a bad month for us😭
user7 my parents :'(
user8 them in one frame is too much to handle
user9 uhmmm why is she hanging out with the exes????👀
user10 maybe because they're still friends and her girlfriends' breakups has nothing to do with their friendship???
user11 ikr... is she like a member of the club now?
user12 i hope not lol
isahernaez missed you so much! And im so happy for you❤️
liked by yourusername and 1,790 others
user13 her liking it...
user14 she's happy for her meaning she's like in a better place now????😭
user15 don't do this to me
user16 geez they cant even say anything that you guys do not to relate to her relationship lmao
via twitter...
via instagram...
landonorris
liked by carlossainz55, maxfewtrell, and 2,347,987 others
landonorris just married my best friend, the love of my life, and my better half. I love you until one can reach the sky.
tagged: yourusername
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user1 WE WERE MOURNING THEIR "BREAK UP" ONLY TO BE WOKEN UP TO THIS POST😭
user2 this is my childhood bestfriends to lovers trope!
user3 no cause where's mine?!
user4 this is so much better than a black background and default font ig story announcement that they broke up😭
carlossainz55 i hope yn can make it through the night when she hears you snore
landonorris I don't snore!
carlossainz55 sure and birds cant fly
yourusername some birds can't
landonorris see???
yourusername but you do snore love
user5 IVE MISSED TIMES LIKE THIS😭
maxverstappen1 can't believe you got married before me
user6 you better watch your step mister, I'm literally right behind you.
landonorris 🫡 i would not dare
yourfriend oh yeah you'll never hear the end of it
yourusername stop threatening my husband😭
user7 "husband"😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 all of us are crying
lewishamilton congrats mate!
liked by landonorris, yourusername, and 72,309 others
yourusername
liked by carmenmmundt, lilymhe, and 1,295,670 others
yourusername Love you to the moon and to Saturn❤️
tagged: landonorris
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user1 no because you don't know how happy i am for them😭
user2 i can finally sleep in peace at night with a smile on my face knowing my parents literally got married
user3 i have never once cried over celebrity couples getting married but this😭
user4 kinda valid knowing how much they went through just to be where they are now😭
user5 from them being childhood bestfriends to being enemies to being best friends again and now they're married?!😭
user6 im so happy for them 🥺
lilymhe congrats love! just tell me if lando hurts you I will literally snatch you from him
yourusername you're first on my contacts
landonorris hey! no fair
charlottesine gotta admit i shed a tear seeing you walk down the aisle🥺 so happy for you!
yourusername love you cha!
user7 yn is so blessed with her husband and her friends🥺
user8 and they're very blessed with her too🥺 she's like the gentlest most loving person ever
liked by landonorris and 29,654 others
landonorris very lucky to have her as my wife
user9 THEY JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF CALLING EO HUSBAND/WIFE😭
user10 im gonna bathe with my toaster
user11 gonna lay down on the road
yourusername awww are you trying to ask for more lasagna?
landonorris did it work?
yourusername nope :P maybe kisses will do for now?
landonorris never mind the lasagna, brb gonna get it you owe me about a hundred ;)
user12 not them flirting under the comments!!😭 Get a room!😭
user13 oh they're abt to
#lando norris x oc#lando norris x reader#lando norris au#lando norris#f1 socmed au#f1#fluff#f1 fic#f1 fluff#lando norris social media au
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lights off
College AU Bestfriend!Beomgyu x Gn!Reader .. not exactly fluff! kinda suggestive? ♡ Warnings: thunder? rain? ig being in the dark? my first time writing kissing .. my first time actually writing ANYTHING so it might be bad im so sorry guys ♡ A/N: this is my first little fic (if you could call it that)! i literally hate it but i think i got the point across LOLL regardless i hope someone will enjoy please lmk what you think <3 lowercase intended + not proofread ~
7:32 pm. sighing softly, you placed your phone that was softly playing your favorite tunes back down on the small table over your lap. you tapped your pencil on the table in frustration as you once again for the fifth time readjusted your legs on the bed of your best friend's bedroom. time was going by excruciatingly slow and it didnt help that this math problem was taking you a million years to solve. the sun had already set outside and heading back to your dorm seemed less favorable by the minute. hearing a soft shuffle from the other side of the room you looked up at your best friend. rain began to patter outside. looks like you'll be staying for longer than you intended. beomgyu, who had his deep-colored headphones on was moving his head to the music as he wrote down notes from his study guide. his hair softly wrapped around his features most attractively. you began to mentally trace the lines of his nose, his eyes… his lips.. the dim lighting of the room adding more charm to his aura. "y/n..? are you okay? i could feel you burning holes into my head." beomgyu said as he shook off his headphones to fully put his attention was on you. snapped out of your daze, you mentally kicked yourself as you felt embarrassment creep onto your cheeks. how long had you been staring at him for..? "sorry gyu. if i was staring i didnt mean to" you softly laughed, trying to seem nonchalant and cool about the situation. beomgyu, seeing your embarrassment, chuckled at your reaction. "youre okay, i know you look at me because im cute" he grinned and you rolled your eyes. "oh shut up! you know i was daydreaming. i cant focus on this assignment anyways, its too hard. i think im gonna just finish it tomorrow." you smiled as you threw a pillow at him. he was always cheeky when he had the opportunity. anything to see you react. "daydreaming? so you do think im cute?" he grinned wider after recovering from your pillow attack. you huffed and placed the table that was on your lap onto the ground. "you know youre so-.. ugh and what if i do think you're cute?! what would you even do about it, huh?" you retaliated as you sat on the edge of his bed, now fully facing him. you faked a pout as you were feeling a bit bolder than usual today. your homework giving you enough pent-up rage to have the energy to give in to his bickering.
"okay well i dont know how much truth there is to that but if you really meant that id probably kiss you." your eyes widened at his response. you see beomgyu's face turn into an unreadable expression. he hadnt realized you were only half joking and fully meant the compliment, but it was too late and by the time he caught wind that you were actually flustered he felt his stomach flip. even he was shocked by his own words. he slipped. had he said too much? after a few seconds of silence that felt like minutes. the rain outside seemed to get louder. his eyes finally met yours and you looked away. you felt your heart pounding at the thought of you saying too much. both of you overthinking the situation and awkwardness that you both never have had before taking place. you and beomgyu have never had an awkward moment like this. normally you both laugh things off but this time felt different. "you trust me right?" his voice sounded sincere. this tone was rare for you to hear from him but you knew immediately he was being genuine with his question. "h- huh? yeah of course.. why?" you responded. "okay well.." you noticed beomgyu was now fiddling with his headphones, it seemed like he was turning all the gears in his head to get out what he wanted to say. "y/n.. theres a chance you may have not been telling the truth but if you were- look regardless if you meant it, i meant what i said." you could feel your stomach turning. he hardly flirted with you but when he did it always felt different from his usual teasing. you never said anything though, in fear of ruining your friendship. yet you always thought about what it would be like if he also returned the feelings you felt.
the room's atmosphere seemed to change. suddenly you were both hyper-aware of his neon led light being the only source of light aside from his computer. your playlist had stopped and the silence felt unbearable. in one swift move, he stood up, and turned off the led light on his wall.
the room was a lot darker now, his computer screen's light being the only way of telling you what he was going to do next. you watched as he plopped down next to you. he was so close that you could see the slight tinge of pink on his ears. your senses began to be filled with the light scent of his cologne. "i.. look- the only way i can say or do this is if the lights are off- im not trying to be weird its just you make me so nervous.. i cant look at you." he mumbled as he looked at your hands resting on your lap. it was so dark and both your hearts were racing. "gyu.. " was all you could muster with his hands now softly on yours.
"can i…" beomgyu began as he leaned in closer, only centimeters away from your face. his eyes staring intently into yours. he had this look of pure admiration, nervousness and love. it was all too surreal. realizing what he was asking, you silently nodded as you stared at his lips. he pressed his forehead on yours, the thick tension in the air causing your body to tingle in anticipation. as you felt his hair softly tickle your features from him leaning in, your lips connected. he kissed you oh so softly as he held your cheek gently. your hands, as if moving on their own, were softly placed on his arms. his lips softly moving along your own. he was patient. it felt as if he was waiting for you to respond, unsure if what he was doing was okay with you. you moved your head to the side slightly to deepen the kiss, causing him to sigh. it was all he needed to know you felt the same. his hands moved to your waist as you settled your fingers into his long hair. softly pushing him towards you to intensify the kiss. all that could be heard was the rain outside aside from the soft exchange of sighs and hands roaming. "ive liked you for so long.. you have no idea.." he began between kisses. it was all passionate, slow, and tender as if he was handling you like glass. his hands pulled your waist impossibly closer to his. he separated first, leaving you craving for more. "trust me, i liked you so much i was so scared you didnt feel the same way despite you teasing me the way you did." you chuckled as you pecked his cheek. "you drive me insane.." he softly spoke. "y/n, every time i tried to say something.. my brain just went to mush.. its so bad i swear. i could only be this confident with the lights off.." beomgyu laughed as his eyes began to trail your facial features. he was admiring every curve and feature, and at that point, both your faces were impossibly red. "gyu.. can you just.. kiss me again..?" your voice came out hardly a whisper. "i like you so much i feel like im going insane from the way you just confessed." he smiled fondly at your words and nodded, leaning in once again. as soon as your lips touched you could both practically feel the electricity pouring through your bodies. as if on cue, thunder struck the moment you connected again. your arms wrapped impossibly tight around him, slightly tugging and playing with his hair. his arms remained at your waist, slightly circling over the shirt you wore. you could feel the warmth of his fingers through the fabric.
his tongue slightly swiped along your lips for permission, and you parted your lips in response. having his tongue explore your mouth had your brain going numb. time felt like it had stopped, with just the rain as your only witness to the quiet whispers and confessions that only you two could hear. when you both finally were running out of breath, you separated with beomgyu looking into your eyes. you stared back, lips equally as glossy as his. "are you.. going back to your dorm yet?" thunder struck once again, as if responding to his question. you smiled. "its raining a little too hard dont you think?" beomgyu chuckled, realizing how silly his question was. "yeah. youre right, i think you should stay." you bit your lip as you pulled off each other, both of you immediately missing the warmth. beomgyu shook his head fixing his now fluffed hair thanks to you as he ran his fingers through. he then stood up to turn the led light he had turned off previously back on. "so.. how about we watch a movie?" he spoke as the light clicked. you could almost burst into laughter from the question given the events that just happened a minute prior. give it to choi beomgyu, your best friend, to turn a situation less awkward by simply being his charismatic self. the personality you fell for since day one of knowing him.
"sure gyu, but.." you trailed off, shy about what you were about to say next. honestly, could this get any more awkward? "yeah?" he turned to you and tilted his head in that attractive way he does. "leave the lights off." you looked at him with a shy smile. he flushed at your words. and for the last time again, lightning struck. "yeah.. lights off" he replied, led light clicking once again.
#tomorrow x together#txt x reader#beomgyu x reader#txt scenarios#txt imagines#beomgyu x y/n#BakeryTreat♡
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Helloo 💗💗
Idk if ur taking hxh requests now but could you do hcs on how it'd likely go when Killua's family eventually find out abt his s/o?? How each family member is likely to react and how they even found out abt that anyway, and all that since...
I DONT THINK ITD GO WELL BUT I COULD BE WRONG
Have a nice day by the way <3
Hello and thank you for requesting<3
I doubt it will be accurate but thats what headcanons are for ig? Either way i tried <3
Also i made this gn!reader
Tw: a little foul language i guess, murder mentioned in a silli way >_<, its really bad so it needs a warning too
○ oKi imagine Illumi somehow saw you on a date or just hanging out ykyk, and told it to the rest of the family cuz Killua is the fav child?! fuckin snitch
○ Alr so lets be fr, it would really depend on your strenght. Are you strong asf and good influence on Killua? Sure, it could be arranged. But are you weak, or bad influence, or have some flaws that they dont like? RUN.
○ So lets say you are not the worst (ily yall dw), i have a strong feeling that Kikyo, Killuas mom, would despise you. She'd be like those moms on socials like, "nuh uh you arent his first kiss, i was, and he is still my baby boy" and "i cant let anyone steal my boy, he is mine, not yours blah blah" girl, grow tf up.
○ And lets be honest, it wouldnt be much better with Illumi :((
Oh? Kill has an s/o? hm...once they have a disagreement, he will kill them anyway
○ STFU U ILLUMINATI >_<
○ Next up would be Milluki
○ Imagine not having a real s/o, Milluki (i aint better)
○ Either way, he wouldnt be happy but what can he do? You arent the favourtie child Milluki.
○ I dunno what to say, really, but Kalluto wouldnt really give a flying shit.
○ Alluka would adore you omg >_< AND you're gonna be her sister in law?! RIGHT? RIGHT? Same with Nanika, adores you. But if you ever hurt Killua....id recommend killing yourself quickly before they find you. (pls dont kys and dont hurt killua)
○ I wanna include Zeno cuz he slays sm. Supporting grandparent fr. Much better than Kikyo and Illumi.
○ Now on to Silva....
○ I can sorta see him be okay with it, i mean, if Kill is happy and wants to get stronger, and return home, why tf not.
○ But be careful, a little slip and *funeral music starts playing*
○ Overally pretty chill on the outside at least
○ So if you were cool and strong, you would probably live (hopefully)
Guys im sorry its badddddddddddddddddd but i tried, I am on a vacacion so my brain kind of got fried its so hot here wthhhh
#killua x reader#killua zoldyck#hunter x hunter#killua zoldyck x reader#killua hxh#hxh killua#killua#x reader#headcanons#hcs#its bad pls dont read it#silva zoldyck#zeno zoldyck#zoldyck family#kikyo zoldyck#alluka zoldyck#nanika#alluka and nanika#kalluto zoldyck#milluki zoldyck#illumi zoldyck#hxh#hxh headcanolns#niko niko writes
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HIIIIII
okay, so how about, chuuya, atsushi, dazai, and nikolai with a s/o who loves dresses gothy??? they act cold and mean around others too, other then them?
yayay tyyy, remember i luv youuuu
"Skulls and hearts"
Sypnosis: You are the epitome of goth and a breeze of coldness, how do these lovely men take care of you?
Genre: romance, suggestive (slightly)
Warnings: reader is more of goth lolita than like abosolute goth bcs i have no knowledge on goth, suggestive on chuuya, one wednesday addams joke, please lmk if i didnt manage to quite reach the goth culture-
A/N: HII sweetie hru? just wanted to say i put more of a lolita goth since i am not educated well on it lol-
DAZAI was definetly fascinated by your style, infact when he first saw your dark attire on the day you entered the agency to file a report, his eyes were already sparkled!
The way you spoke so confidently and was non-chalant about it and everything, your formal attire, everything piqued him.
Especially the cold air surrounding you with your blue hued gaze. He love how you did your make up so much you could call it a mini crush at first sight.
So to fill his intrests he decided to stop you for a while to maybe use his charms but unfortuantly for him it obviously did not work out with how deadly your gaze is
"If looks could kill..." he had thought to himself.
Overtime he had started to court you and all though you despised his annoying tactics he seemed quite cute to you so you accepted his "love" for you
He even bragged about how cool and pretty his new girlfriend was all day at the agency especially when you dropped off his lunch at the office saying "I aint nobodys petty little housewife but here`s your lunch, bandaged idiot. Next time i will throw your lunch down the sewers where your rat friend lives" You had spitted t out loud.
Even the agency is piqued in you and your creative insults which you throw at him whenever he does soemthing stupid For example: "Bandagedass" "Suicidal loverman who cant even fix his clothes" "Charming bedbug i picked up from the trash" "Idiot with a handsome face'' and so on!
But ofc like the masochist he his he loves listening to them which made you creeped out and made you use much appropriate words to insult him.
He definetly tries to rile you up by saying suggestive stuff by playing with the hem of your black laced skirt, push him ten feet away if he does because you wotn be able to do that when you get home...*wink wink*
He loves your music taste, though he isnt into goth culture he loves it when you tell him about goth subculture, it reminds him how your closer and more vulnerable around him than anyone else.
You gave him some goth themed band-aids to put around his bandaged arms and neck which he shows them off like a badge of honor!
Put your makeup away from him though he will probably mess it up and make himself look like if wednesday went through a bad eye day.
And later after scolding him for going through your stuff you finally taught him how to properly do goth makeup.
You even taught him some gothic slurs to throw at anyone who tries to disturb him though he will probably use them is someone insults you which we will be on about now.
If someone dares to insult your gloomy atire, well he doesnt need to say anything because you are there already with your gaze sharper than your eyeliner.
But even so hes ready to take care of his goth gf who only soften around him anytime, anywhere!
Of course CHUUYA supports your style why wouldnt he?
If anything the first time you two had met he had a mutual intrest for you, "how pretty yet terrifying at the same time" he thought.
Soon enough he put up the courage to speak to you though the atmosphere around you was quite cold
He didnt really like people who had arrogance in their personality but you maybe seemed nice to aproach.
Of course the person you are you kept calm and maintained formality, if so you looked quite elegant.
Time passed, dates were booked, hands were slid. He finally confessed to you and you calmly smiled at him.
God...how he loved seeing your eyes soften and your matte lipstick lips form into a small smile at his smallest gestures.
Like buying you all types of goth culured dress since he doesnt know what tyoe you wear and he doesnt want to disrespect goth people
And seeing that smile and light hue of happiness form on your beautifully done cheeks
He loves complimenting you too, all the time!
"Babe you look so pretty right now," "Do you like that dress over there? The laces might suite your skin" "That evangeline themed makeup set...The colours suite your eyelids." "All dressed and pretty just for me to ruin,,,Hahh you really want to rile me up, doll, Dont ya?"
He CAN and WILL buy you the whole fricking hot topic.
Oh you like a chain belt there? frick it buys you the whole belt section. Oh you liked the glossy purple lipstick at the side walk shop? buys 10 different shades.
Hes an executive ofcourse he will buy you everything!
Chuuya can make a few suggestive comments too,,,yknow.
"Wow, doll you do your makeup so well? You could be a professional you know?" "Oh chuuya, how you fluster me'' "Well...professional or not imma` bout to ruin that makeup so bad right now."
Dont worry he will help you clean up the mess he did to your face later. Afterall he loves a cute little goth gf!
I wont deny it but ATSUSHI was quite scared by you at first glance, but warmed up soon when he realises that your not half bad afterall
He had met you at cafe uzumaki sipping on a coffee cup while sketching, wow, the fancy sketchbook and the fact that you were drawing while wearing long black dimond studded nails really made him admire you
Though he was shy at first since you had this shilling aura around you, he still took a breathe and walked over you
You kept looking at him up and down as he nervously tries to introduce himself which makes you break your demeaner and let out a soft chuckle "Oh my...what a wonderful laugh they have..."
So the conversation between you two started, infact while conversing you had drawn a very neat sketch of him with your skull printed pencil.
He was definetly shocked on how you drew him so well in such short time.
Over the agency work days, atsushi was quite a bit nervous, which dazai made a few jokes about him having a crush on "The cafe's goth girl"
And so you two became a thing! well after atsushi got somehow rid of his nervousness
Except your the boyfriend in this relationshio ;D
He tries to buy you stuff though, but you always deny and take him to oth stores at the corners of yokohama, to say the least your better guided than him.
I am sure the agency also warmed ap at you! not since whenever you would always have this threatening aura with a ravishing face of dark-hued makeup but when he turned around to speak to you
Your all soft smiling and tilted eyes.
You even dressed him up in goth clothes one time which he looked a bit too silly in.
If dazai ever saw atsushi in scene clothes though...he wil definetly say something like "Ohohoho you two remind me of Morticia addams and um, oh yeah! Gomez addams Hahaha, wait then kyouka can be your..."
You instantly went "Atsushi please, tell your STEROTYPICAL, UNFUNNY, MENTALLY ILL father to get the fuck out of here and go try to drown himself or something"
So now, not only is atsushi scared of you so is dazai!!
He still loves you and your style though, who wouldnt because i would love a goth s/o who would put on the most gorgeous make up ever and rai--
...
He`s both barking and joining your cult.
JUST KIDDING-
NIKOLAI obviously fell in love with your sass at first sight! What an independant and cool woman! he had thought when his emerald and blue eye fell upon you.
You werent even scared of his illy and outrageous tactics instead you just rolled your eyes at him as if hes some freak
Now this is intresting.
I think nikolai has prefernces for goth lolita so if by any chance thats your aesthetic get ready to be filled with flirts and touchiness
He just cant help it! Your so cold to him but cant you see how intrested he is in you? not just your style but your whole personality he loves analizing people!
Which you find about after many tries of him trying for you to at least speak with him, He was annoying especially during the first stages of your relationship
But soon enough you warmed up, realising that though hes a bit fucked up in the head hes quite chill and fun to hang around.
Niko definetly uses his ability to steal your favourite items from hot topic, so be prepared when you see your vanity filled with all kinds of stygian clothes, lingerine, cropped tops, fishnets, corsets, puffy skirts, makeup etc.
That act made you more soft around him and hes just giddy he got to make his infamous "gloomy" dove smile :D
You help him dress up sometimes too, maybe drawing out long triangles under his eyes for his next show or maybe putting on some dark lipstick just to smooch his neck.
Okay i can defiently see him and you be great fashionistas! One with clownish crimson and black attire and the other with a menacing aura of a maginficent raven (got the reference?)
He is just into you okay? Dont question it!
A/N: i had a bit too much fun writing this lol BY THE WAY GUYS DONT BE OFFENDED BY THE JOKE MY HUBBY MADE AT ATSUSHIS PART, HES JUST A LIL SILLY :33
Divider crds!: @firefly-graphics
Tags: @heartsfourdazai @silverbladexyz @ruanais @biscuits-spooky-corner @riiwrites @chuuyasboner @atlasnessie @saelique @tsuunara @elizais
#sakira!#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bungou gay dogs#bsd x reader#dazai#dazai x reader#chuuya x reader#chuuya nakahara x reader#nikolai x reader#nikolai gogol x reader#nikolai bsd#chuuya bsd#dazai bsd#dazai fic#atsushi x reader#atsushi nakajima#atsushi nakajima x reader#bsd fanfic#goth#goth aesthetic#bsd goth#bsd stuff#sakiras writing notebook!!!
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Slashers with y/n that just gets along with everything
Like slasher could litteraly kill somone near y/n and she would be like alr alr whats really important is that you are happy🤠😎. Im sorry that first 2character had super long headcanons while last ones have way less :( I had no ideas Request open!
Billy Lenz
He always expects some sort of negative response when he calls people and when he heard new voice on the Phone he got even more exited cuz new person new reaction! He totally didnt expect her to just go "yeah yeah sure buddy, anyways... how is your day man? Cuz im so so tired...*starts normal converstation*
He probably tries to stay in character but he is so caught of Guard he doesnt know how to react really (hehe the table has turn)
Now he kinda hopes that she will pick up cuz shes very intresting😈 billy likey
"Ew its this creep again! He is asking for you y/n? Of please dont tell me you befriended him??" "So what? He said hes favourite fruit is strawberry he cant be that bad!" *billy saying slurs on the phone*
You need to constantly tell him that, no Billy no harrasing women isnt sexy, you arent quirky, you are mentally ill
"Y/n i killed that bitch that was gossiping about you 🧍 " "👍good for you billy im glad you found healthy way to cope with that negative emotion😇" "on god"
His whole moral compass is created around the simple question 'does it hurt y/n?' .1:no it doesnt so feel free to do it .2 do not do it, she will ban Billy from sweets (bad ending)
The man from hush
This guy. This dude. This Little gremlin. He is upset that he gets no reaction! Like please oh please act all angy when he 'acidently' shot tire in her car! But oh no ofc no, she had to be like "oh its okay honey i have backup in garage🥰" hes like HHUH SINCE WHEN WE HAVE GARAGE
Like tbh thats how i imagine how they met: he saw her, he wanted to hunt her, she was so chill that she didnt even leave her household while the power was off and he went inside and just saw her having lil nap on couch. 🧍🤨erm exuse me gurl im trying to roleplay epic hunter here tf
He probably kidnaped her cuz she was too weird to just kill her but he didnt want to risk her calling police. He probably tied her up and yeeted her on backseats. And then she begun judging music on the radio"yo big guy can i get some good music taste?" "What? Whats wrong with Taylor Swift?"
He will overshare everything to kinda check where is her limit if it comes to being chill "yeah so i killed this old lady.." "im sure you had good reason🥰" "🤨... anyways... yeah so i was drinking some redbull when some guy said i look ugly so i shoot his head off and-" "HEY HEY hold up geez you CANT drink Energy drinks?? Bestie you know it is unhealthy?? Also you like hunt for sport it will ruin your condition!? How you gonna shoot people with shakey hands?? You crazy or something?" "Damn😔"
Micheal myers
I tried to put him here but i realised he will be as chill as her.
Like he can give her gifts covered in blood and she' just going to clean it and wear it like nothing happened or completley ignore it
He cares about this stuff as much as y/n so like not at all. I mean tbh theres is a bit of difrence: shes at least positive about it! Like "yeah micheal go for it, love🥰😇 i know its hard to cope with trauma take it all out alr?" Shes trying to be a good supporting gf not her fault she never had serial killer bf!
Brahms Heelshire
He lives for attention! What do you mean the war crime he commited this lunch break is okay!?!? Baby pleasee
But this negativity disapears the moment he realised he can get a lot of positive attention when he will do some nice stuff! "Oh honey I didnt kill any rats today" "oh that's amazing brahms I'm sure you and the rats inside walls will get along well soon🥰" (rats in walls bully brahms)
Please complement him or he will get a tantrum and destroy something
Brahms and rats have very hard past i might do seperate hc about that
Ghostface
"Look babe! My newest victim *shows photo*" "ugh baby...😰 you NEED to buy new camera or watch some youtube tutorials about how to take good photos" "aw man whats wrong with my pictures 😔"
Otherwise y/n supports his hobbies! People need to grow😇 (and he needs to grow up)
If theres 2ghostfaces(like in most movies) they will bet money on how long you gonna keep this 'do whatever as long as youre happy' act. Well they didnt know that this wasnt an act but her personality
Also they will probably try to use this chillnes aginst her like "oooh y/n something terrible happened! I crushed my car oh what will i do!" "Alr bestie i will drive you over there😇" "😈omg you are so nice i totally didnt expect that(heheh i dont need to pay for gas today (hes very evil))
#slasher x reader#slasher headcanons#billy lenz#billy lenz x reader#brahms heelsire#brahms x reader#micheal myers#micheal myers x reader#ghostface x reader#ghostface#hush headcanon#hush 2016#hush x reader#the man x reader
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