#just some fuckin dickheads are always in my fucking way and I just. I don’t know how much longer I’ll survive

[yorkiegregg]

I literally feel like I’ve finally lost it and im so fucking done If im just going to be completely honest

[torubeth]

degradation taken too far (mature content 18+)

context/warnings : it’s smut, so kids shoo! hell of a lot of degradation. they’re so mean i hate them. (swearing, words used : slut and slutty) angst to i have no idea what. pls do lmk if i missed any tws. and as always, its not proofread :p gojo ver.

ryomen sukuna ‘is that all you can do? all your yapping earlier about ridin’ me was just talks? answer me’ his sudden shift in demeanour has you feeling really small. sure he is a rude ass prick but not to you. never to you.

‘no- i can take it. i really can ryo’ tears sting at your eyes as you struggle to take in his full length. his hands giving your waist a small squeeze.

‘yeah and that’s all you’ve been saying for the past goddamn fifteen minutes. either you take it like a good girl or i’ll just have to find someone who will. trust me, i can’ he eyes held no remorse of the words he just spewed and that’s when you break.

correction, you shatter.

somewhere in the back of your head you knew he’ll never leave you but him wording it out makes it seem like it’s bound to happen.

and so tears stroll down your cheeks, your hands and legs giving out on you, your body going limp against his and you whisper the same thing over and over again.

‘don’t leave me ryo. i’m sorry. didn’t mean to upset you. i’m so sorry. don’t leave’

quickly his arms wrap around your body protectively, your face between his shoulder blade and neck, wetting the area with fresh batch of tears.

‘i could never leave you. you’re-’ you’re it for me. ‘you’re always the one that keeps me sane. there’s no way i’ll ever leave you. i’m sorry baby, forgive me. i didn’t mean a word of what i said’ he says.

when he didn’t get a response from you ‘look at me’ he whispers. slowly you leave the comfort of his neck and meet his eyes.

‘i didn’t mean it. you could leave me on deathbed and i still wouldn’t mean it’

‘i can’t leave you ryo. i love you way too much’ you sniffle, new tears threatening to spill so you go back to huddle against his neck.

god. he knows you mean it. and that’s what makes him feel like a dickhead.

‘me too, i- i lo-’ he struggles, just as your palm reaches up to cover his mouth.

‘i know ryo, i know’ you whisper, placing your forehead against his, both of you basking in the quietness of the surrounding.

geto suguru ‘fuckin-! ah shit! some insane grip you have on me baby. can’t move if you clench and lock me up like that’ he smirks against your neck.

‘and a bit quiet today ain’t ya? you sure had a lot to say to satoru earlier heh’ he remarks.

‘we were just catching up suguru, nothing-! nothing more’ you whine.

‘catching up you say? does catching up require smiles and touches? do they angel baby?’ he raises his eyebrows.

‘no..’ you avert your eyes away from his.

‘that’s what i thought. so for that, now you pay’ he pulls out suddenly, and pushes all the way back in making you yelp out loud.

‘sugu! ah fuck, i don’t think i can go another round baby. s’too much!’ the pressure was starting to get to you and you were starting to lose stability.

‘hah, i know you can baby, this slutty pussy’s all you’re good for anyway. fuck, doesn’t matter whose it is, as long as you’re filled. am i right?’ his words pierced straight through your heart.

since when did he-?

out of reflex, your hands reach out to touch his face to make sure that this was a dream nightmare. otherwise there’s no way he-

‘don’t touch me with those filthy hands’ he spits but makes no effort to push your hand off.

‘do you really think that’s all i’m good for?’ your voice is soft, filled with pain, and suddenly it’s like he’s broken out of his trance.

what the fuck am i doing, he thought.

slowly he pulls out, all whilst holding your hand against his cheek.

‘absolutely not. no. fuck, did not mean it angel. i promise. i- i don’t know what came over me-! didn’t mean it. please i’m sorry. next time if i ever lose my shit with you, i want you to take the nearest sharp object and plunge it into my chest’ he heaves out a guttural sigh.

‘you were really mean you know..’ you wipe your eyes.

‘i know baby, fuck. i didn’t mean it. i did not mean it. i’ll never do it again princess, ever’ he repeats.

his face lands on your chest, thanking all the gods and the stars out there for giving him another chance.

he’ll never screw up again and that’s a promise.

nanami kento ‘you really couldn’t wait for a few hours? just had to go and think with your cunt, right? have you no- ugh! no shame?’ his thrusts were sloppy as his hands were placed around your hips.

‘kento- slow down baby, i- i don’t think i can last’ you whine, hands clutching at the sheets.

‘no. you asked for this you little slut. so shut. the. fuck. up. and take it!’ each syllable was accompanied by a harsh thrust.

the usually composed, sweet and calm nanami was nowhere to be found. he’s never once called you a ‘slut’ and what caused this? you rubbing him through his pants and riling him up at his office dinner earlier tonight.

he warned you off multiple times but did you listen? no.

‘why are you so quiet now? i thought this is what you wanted’ his voice comes out raspy and cold.

a quiet but audible whimper escaped your lips, making him halt his actions.

slowly he pulled out, gently laying you on your back as your body shook with each sob.

‘sweetheart…? why are you…’

you look up at him, eyes puffy and swolllen ‘i’m sorry kento, it’s just that, you’re never home these days and i missed you so much’ a cry that’s sure to crack his heart leaves your lips.

‘i just wanted you all to myself for tonight but i didn’t mean to be a bother-’

his warm body hovers over yours, ‘you’re never a bother baby. always know that. you will always be at the top of every and any list i make. there’s nothing more i want than coming home to you everyday after work. and i didn’t mean to lash out at you. you didn’t deserve that, i’m sorry’ he leans down to press a kiss to your forehead.

‘you will always have me sweetheart, never forget that. now let me make it up to you yeah?’

[for-some-reason]

🍃 with Bakugo Katsuki

warning: reader is smoking weed with bakugo, and reader is a lightweight/not as experienced. underage smoking. reader finds bakugo hot and thinks it a few times, dont know if that counts as suggestive.

Bakugo Katsuki was an enigma. He went to sleep no later than 8PM every night, was ranked third in your class, and although a bit reluctantly, he helped you and your friends study. He seemed to be a model student in that aspect, but then he didn’t follow the dress code, spoke rudely and harshly, and somehow got into trouble with teachers and staff more than anybody you knew.

You couldn’t really figure him out. The line he drew between okay and not-okay seemed to be zig-zagged, there wasn’t a clear cut to anything as if he made it up as he went.

So to say you were shocked when he was alright with smoking weed was an understatement. He didn’t even drink.

“The hell are you starin’ at me for?” His voice brings you out of your own head, and you watch as he brings the joint— that he fucking rolled— to his lips and takes a drag. He sucks in deeply, the tip of the joint burning red, and after holding it in for a few seconds he lets it out. A big cloud of smoke hits you as he coughs a bit. “Ah, fuck— too much.”

“When did you start smoking? What the fuck.” You ask, still wildly confused.

You had just been hanging out in his dorm when he decided to take a secret stash of weed out along with his grinder and rolling papers. You hated to admit it, but watching him work had been attractive. You could tell he wasn’t new to this, definitely having been doing it longer than you, with how he worked. It was quick and practiced— the signs of a regular smoker.

“Does it fucking matter? Here.” He passes over the joint and you take it.

Bringing the joint to your lips, you also take much more than you could handle and start coughing harshly.

He laughs, like the dickhead he is, but grabs a water bottle and hands it to you. “You a fuckin’ newbie or what?”

“Shit— no. It’s just been awhile, okay? Ugh,” You take another pull, a little less than before to avoid hacking your lungs out, and then pass the joint back to Bakugo. “Now, seriously, how the fuck didn’t I know this?”

You’ve always been a bit of a lightweight, with your opportunities to smoke being so few and far between, so you start to feel your vision getting hazy already.

Bakugo grumbles and takes a pull before opening his mouth again. “I don’t fuckin’ know, I think it was late second year. Soy Sauce face, that dumbass pothead, gave me some. It’s not somethin’ I go shouting on rooftops. I like my damn privacy.”

Another pull and then he passes it to you.

“Huh. I mean, I get it. So why tell me now?”

“Why the fuck not? I just felt like it. And you’re always talkin’ about how much you wanna smoke with the other guys, so I knew you’d be chill.”

“Right..” You answer a bit breathily. You smile and hand Bakugo the joint again. It’s almost done by now and he has to relight it.

You’re laser-focused on his lips as he takes a long pull from the joint again.

You realize you’re definitely high by now as you watch the smoke blow out of his mouth. Fuck, he’s really attractive.

You finally look back up and his eyes are staring right back at you.

“You’re already this damn high?” He smirks. You want to kiss the smirk off his stupid face.

Maybe getting high with Bakugo wasn’t the best idea. Can he hear your thoughts? What if you’re speaking out loud? Is this a dream? You want to reach out and touch him.

“..What?” You ask, remembering he spoke to you.

“Huh?”

“What.. did you say?”

“I haven’t said anything in a few damn minutes, you damn lightweight.”

You giggle. Yeah, you’re fucking baked. “Is that right?”

“Ugh, I can tell you’re gonna be annoying. You can lay on my bed. You look tired as shit.”

“Thank you.. Bakugo.. I’ll do that.”

You slowly make your way to his bed and lay down. You can feel yourself sinking into the mattress, it’s so comfortable. You turn to look at Bakugo sitting at his desk still.

“It was nice smoking with you. I’ll… try not to be a lightweight next time..”

He mutters something to himself, and you think you hear a goodnight before you close your eyes, easily drifting into a dream.

[the1975attheirverybest]

Being Funny In A Foreign Language

Chapter 9- “I Know A Place…”

A/N: the penultimate chapter. I hope you like it but let me know what you think either way.

Warnings: mostly smut I think. Scenes strung together with a loose thread of plot. Some mentions of mental illness but nothing too detailed?

———

“What do you mean?” Matty frowned, stepping aside to let her into the room.

“What happened to your guitar, Matty? I haven’t seen you play it in a while.” She crossed her arms as she spoke.

He could tell that her tone was accusatory. Clearly, she must know something. But unless he can somehow find out what she knows, he has no idea how to respond.

“To be fair….” He turned around, not wanting to look her in the eyes as he lies to her. “I haven’t played that thing onstage in— fuck, maybe seven years now!” He walked into the living room space and Amelia followed closely behind.

“Yeah, but you always have it around. When you’re writing, when you’re doing work for other people…you always inevitably circle back to it.”

Ordinarily, Matty would feel touched and excited by how well she knew him, but at the moment, their intimacy made it difficult to lie to her. His efforts to deflect were not yielding the results that he’d hoped for. He began to pace nervously around the room. “What’s this ab-bout, anyway?” his voice cracked, momentarily, but he regained control of the calm pretense. “ Do you, like, need a guitar? I could recommend a few instruments if you tell me what you need it for.”

“Oh for fucks sakes!” Amelia sighed, looking up at the ceiling in frustration. She couldn’t believe the nerve on him. The fact that he was willing to feign ignorance disappointed her. But she wasn’t sure if the she was disappointed in him for trying to lie, or in herself for thinking that he wouldn’t. “why’d you give it up?” She asked, bluntly. “Why did you give that guitar to Marcus Fontana? And why’d you keep it from me? Why wouldn’t you tell me about it?”

Oh, fuck. He hadn’t thought that far ahead. “I- erm, he- wanted it. And…I wanted something from him. Seemed like a f- fair trade?” That was the truth. As vaguely put as possible. But still truthful.

“You gave it up to get Joshua and I into the event, didnt you?” Amelia was overcome with emotion as she spoke. “Don’t lie to me, Matty. I already know.” She paused, on the verge of tears, taking deep breaths. “He mentioned something about it when we saw him. I knew right away, but….it seemed impossible. Too grand a gesture. You love that thing more than you love some real people that you know in your personal life. You wouldn’t just do that for a stupid exhibit.” She shook her head, as if objecting to what he’d done. “But, I just talked to Joshua. You did do it, didn’t you? You gave your guitar up for-“

“For you.”

The words slipped out of his mouth before he could think to stop himself. And now that they were out there, he felt immediately terrified. The silence scared him more than anything. The longer it went on, the more significant and dramatic his confession became. He needed to say something. Anything at all to make this moment pass.

“Is that what you came here to hear me say? That I gave it up for you? Fucks sakes! Alright. I gave it up for you. I- I- I gave up my guitar, one of a handful of my prized material possessions, so that you could go to this thing that you were dying to go to. So that you could have the experience, and meet the artists, and see the art that you have always loved and wanted to be in the presence of. There! I’ve said it. Happy now?”

Matty felt his legs begin to shake as he stood there, so he resumed his pacing to hide the fact that his knees were barely holding him up.

“W-why?”

“What’d you mean why?” He stopped again? in the middle of the room, turning to look at her with furrowed brows. A look that she was more than familiar with. Usually, it’s the look he would have on his face right before calling something, or someone, ‘stupid’ or ‘a fuckin dickhead.’ “‘Why?’” He scoffed. “Because I love you, Amelia.”

“No-“

“Because I fuckin love you. I’m in love with you and I would do anything for you. To see you smile. To know that you’re-“

“No, no. Stop.” Amelia shook her head repeatedly as he spoke. “No, no, no. Stop….stop it. Just- stop talking!”

Of all the ways that Matty has fantasized about confessing how he feels, the many scenarios that he ran in his head time and time again, he never once imagined her response to be “no.” It seemed improvable at the time. Now that it was happening, it felt like a huge oversight.

“You don’t love me!” She yelled, her eyes welling up with tears. “You don’t. Surely, you don’t. Surely you haven’t….felt that way about me and kept it from me. Letting me date other people. Letting me think that- that how I felt about you was unreciprocated, something that I needed to get over to save our friendship.”

Matty took a few steps towards her. “Amelia, it’s not like that at all-“

“Isn’t it? Really? Since- since when?” She stepped back the closer that he got to her.

“What?”

“Since when? How long have you felt this way?”

“Does it really matter? Love isn’t….its not something you can measure-“

“You’re not going to Matty your way out of this one. So just- just stop. Answer me. How long?”

“I- don’t know.” He shrugged. “It’s not like I can pinpoint a moment where I went from liking you as a friend to-“

Her eye rolls told him that he’d be better off not finished that thought. He considered her question a moment, in a genuine attempt to respond.

“Since we first slept together.”

“That’s was…” she paused, trying to count the time in her head.

Matty, of course, already knew the answer. “Ten months and two weeks.” He stated.

The confirmation overwhelmed her. Tears finally spilled from her eyes. This was vindication. This was proof, that this whole time, it wasn’t all in her head. The subtle touches, catches in his voice, the way he looked at her sometimes, whenever he thought she wasn’t looking, these ephemeral, impossible things that had, up until Matty, only existed in romance novels; they were all real. She wasn’t crazy. She wasn’t projecting her own unrequited love for him onto their interactions. But this was also frustration. Betrayal. The worst lie of omission.

“So you lied to me.” She shook her head, tears still streaming down her face. “You- you lied to me and you humiliated me. When I told you I loved you….you did every thing that you could to make it clear I was a hysterical hormonal little girl. Orgasm-drunk and confusing lust for love. I literally asked you to look into my eyes and tell me the truth and you lied through your teeth.”

Matty was shocked by the conversation that he found himself having. Was this a nightmare? How does him finally telling her how he feels turn into this. “No, no, no! I didn’t lie! I-“

“Even after you did all that…” she laughed in disbelief, “I came crawling back to you. I, I fell for it all over again. The whole ‘we’re just friends who sleep together’ act. Fuck- I’m such an idiot.”

“There was no crawling! You’re not an idiot!”

“Oh yes there was. There was. I was going to break up with Joshua for you. I told you I’d do it and you said no. And it’s my fault for letting you.”

Matty lunged forward placing his hands on her shoulders, looking into her tearful eyes. “Amelia,

Listen to me-“

“Don’t touch me!” She backed away, out of his grasp. “You claim you love me. I can’t believe you’d do this to me.” She placed her hand on the door knob. Looking back at him, unable to recognize the person standing in front of her. “You let me go on believing things that weren’t true. Every moment that we’ve spent together as friends, you were feeling something else. Was any of it ever genuine or ….”

“Amelia, wait. Please don’t leave. Stay. Let me explain!”

“Save your breath.” She turned around, opened the door, and walked out without looking back.

***

Amelia swiped her keycard, her hotel room door blinked a green light, indicating that she’d successfully unlocked it. She wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and remain there for the rest of her life. In fact, with tear stains still on her cheeks, she was mentally drafting the contents of the text that she was going to send Tobias and Patricia to let them know that she wouldn’t be joining them for work today.

“Oh my god, Joshua!” She yelped, nearly startled as she walked into the room.

“Oh, shit. Sorry, I’ll be out of your hair in a minute.” He said, zipping up one of his suitcases.

“Wait, what?”

“I didn’t wanna make this awkward. I was counting on you being with Matty right now. Thought I’d pack and leave while you were out.”

“No, no! Don’t be ridiculous. You stay. I’ll get a different room.”

“You don’t have to do that. It’s okay. I’ve already started packing.”

She walked over to him, placing her hand over his to stop him. “Please. It’s the least I can do.”

Joshua never could say no to her. Relenting, he smiled and nodded. “Fair enough. You did cheat on me.” He couldn’t help himself. “Sorry. Regretted that as soon as I heard myself say it. I’ll ummm….find a flight out soon. Just need a couple of days to get my shit together.”

Amelia looked down at her shoes.

“ I know I have no right to say this, but, I’m gonna miss you.”

Joshua chuckled. “No you won’t. You and Matty will get so wrapped up in each other that you’ll forget about my existence as soon as I’m outta here” he walked over to the coffee station and poured some water into the coffee machine.“Which is how it should’ve been in the first place. What are you doing back here, anyway? Why aren’t you gazing into Matty’s eyes right now?”

Amelia sat at the edge of the bed that they once shared, her head hanging low. “Not sure I wanna gaze into his eyes ever again.” She mumbled, just clearly enough for Joshua to hear.

“What? You’ve gotta be kidding me!”

“Joshua, please-“

“Woman! We broke up so you could ride off into the sunset with him. Not- not whatever this is!” He threw his hands up in the air in frustrated. “I swear to god…..”

“He lied to me, Joshua! He- I can’t trust him. He kept things from me. He had every chance to tell me. Every time that we were alone he could’ve brought it up and he chose not to. That’s not the behavior of someone who wants to be with me.”

“Yeah, I won’t comment on the cheating cuz….what I have to say is unkind. But, I swear on my nana’s life, Amelia, if you let this man go one more time…”

Amelia laughed. “Don’t bring your nana into this!”

“I’ve seen the way that he looks at you. I tried to write it off, ignore it, pretend it wasn’t there, but I know what I saw. Matty Healy loves you so much that he- well, he made friends with me! Helped me surprise you! Just between you and me, Amelia? I’m not sure that I would’ve done the same if I were him.” Joshua smiled. “Then again he WAS fucking you this entire time so I don’t know maybe he just pitied me.”

Amelia thought back to every moment that she and Matty had spent together recently. His declaration of love now painted them in different colors. Every time that he begged for her to hold his hand as she hurt him. Any time that he freely gave her control, insisting that he wanted whatever she wanted. That he would try anything she wanted him to try and put himself

Through whatever she wanted to inflict upon him. Any time that he would seemingly gain new life whenever she called him a good boy or praised him in any way. And all the times that he would ache in desperation for that praise, send himself into a frenzy, if she withheld any words. Bend over backwards trying to earn her approval. All of it felt so different now. It felt familiar because she’d experienced all of it herself. She knew what it was like to feel what he’d felt. After all، that’s how she’d felt with him. Back when they first started their undefined sexual relationship.

“Hear the man out” Joshua spoke again, redirecting her attention. “You owe it to yourself. Maybe you’re upset with him. Maybe you don’t trust him, or whatever. But you love him. So, at least give it a real shot. That way, if you decide you don’t want him anymore, you’ll at least know you tried. You won’t wonder for the rest of your life. And you won’t date other men while secretly sneaking into his bed at night.”

Amelia’s face felt red with shame. “And I’m so, so sorry about that. I- will apologize to you for the rest of my life, really.”

Joshua poured himself a cup of coffee. Then poured some for her as well.

“You owe me this, Amelia.”

“Excuse me?”

“After what you’ve done to me. I’m invested now. You can’t let my broken heart be for nothing.“ he smiled, playfully. “What? Too soon? I’m trying to be the bigger person here.”

Amelia let herself fall back on the bed, grabbing a pillow and covering her face with it, she groaned loudly.

***

Adam pressed the “pause” button, feeling his knees wobble as he stood up for the first time, in, longer than he’d care to admit. He answered the door to a stoned Matty, eyes bloodshot, pacing nervously by the door, biting on his fingernails.

“Matty?”

“Can I- erm, I can’t sleep.” He looked down at the floor, feeling stupid for coming here. “Could I hang out here for a bit?”

Adam nodded, placing a hand on his friend’s back as he walked into the room.

“You hungry?”

Matty didn’t seem to hear him, immediately drawn to the video game on the screen. “Is this new?”

“Yeah, yeah. Picked it up the other day in New York.” Adam decided he was going to share his snack, anyway. “Matty! Stop fucking with - don’t! No!!! You’ll ruin my high score. You’ve no idea how long it’s taken me to get here!”

“I have some idea.” Matty pointed towards the circle of crumpled candy wrappers and empty bottles that had accumulated around Adam’s seat.

Silently, Adam walked over to his backpack and produced an extra controller, plugging it in and sitting by Matty’s side.

“no word from Amelia, still?” He asked, carefully, as if treading on ice.

“Nope.”

Adam waited to see if he’d elaborate. But the terse response was his cue to restart the game. He knew Matty well enough to know that if he wanted to talk about it, he’d say more.

***

“Amelia, please! We should talk.” Matty trailed after her as she moved from room to room backstage, giving a helping hand wherever needed. Not that it was her job to do so. They had crew members for that. But she needed to busy herself with something, anything at all, to avoid a conversation with Matty.

“I miss you.” He stated simply and concisely.

“Matty, please,” she stopped in her tracks, her back still towards him, “don’t do this.”

“I’m not doing anything. I wanna talk.”

“Not right now. Im busy.”

Before he could object, Ross and Adam rushed over, “c’mon mate we’re gonna be late!”

Matty heard them but refused to budge for a moment. Hoping that the urgency of time might compel her to soften. She just looked at Adam and Ross apologetically. Reluctantly, he allowed his friends to push him in the direction of the stage, but his eyes remained on Amelia until he could no longer see her.

****

The restaurant lights felt too harsh on his tired eyes so he put his sunglasses on inside as he walked in. They only shielded his vision for a few moments though. Soon enough, he saw his reflection in a mirror on the wall and he decided that he looked too much like a rockstar, so the glasses had to go.

The hostess walked him over to the table where his party had already arrived. Ross, Jamie, George, Charli, Adam, Carly, and a few friends of friends who happened to all be in the same city at the same time, and, of course, Amelia.

The whole night felt like an out of body experience. Perhaps being hungover from the previous night was already a bad start. But Matty had ended up next to Carly, putting him directly across the table from Amelia, with a perfect view of her every move. he spent his night alternating between glancing over at Amelia, wishing that she’d look in his direction or that he would at least get a hint of how she night be feeling , and asking Carly about things back home, the baby, and catching her up on some tour highlights. By the end of the night, he was exhausted and disoriented. He felt embarrassed for even entertaining the idea of sticking around, waiting to see if she would approach him. But, if he was being honest with himself, he wouldn’t bare it if he did stay behind only for her to walk past right past him, without acknowledgement. so, after dinner, he excused himself and rushed back to the hotel, crawling into bed instantly.

Yet, once again, he found it impossible to fall asleep.

It had been several nights since Amelia stopped coming by and getting into bed with him. He’d grown accustomed to having her there. He missed the smell of her hair right up against his nose as they desperately pressed their bodies together, the feeling of her arms around him helping to soothe him to sleep. Who would’ve thought that he’d see more of her when she was in a relationship than when she’d finally broken up with Joshua.

He entertained the option of drinking again. But the very notion felt pathetic. So, he ended up in George’s room. Asleep on the floor long after he should’ve gone to sleep.

***

Tobias, Patricia, and Amelia’s eyes were glued to the door, impatiently waiting for Matty’s arrival. It had been too long. Tobias has already shuffled and reshuffled the papers that were in front of him several times. Patricia clicked her retractable pen rhythmically and tapped her fingers against the table. Even refilled everyone’s coffee as they waited. Amelia, on the other hand, dreaded seeing him.

To everyone’s surprise (and Amelia’s relief) when the doors burst open, it was George who appeared in front of them.

“Matty’s…well, he’s asleep. I- think he needs it, so I’ve turned off his alarm. I’ll fill in for him.”

Their check-in was cut short, only going over the essentials to make sure the stage building would be ready by the time that they needed it to, and confirming with everyone that the now well-oiled, machine-like system that they’d developed after a year and a half of this tour was going according to plan.

“George? Umm….How’s he doing?” Amelia asked as they made their way to the exit.

“As well as can be expected of someone who has confessed their love for their close friend of many years only to have their heart crushed, stomped on, and shredded.”

“That’s not fair.” Amelia felt like her own heart was being shredded.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” George smiled softly. “He’s….don’t worry about him. We’ve got him. he’s rotating between each of our rooms every night, so we’re keeping an eye on him.”

Amelia nodded. “Good, good.”

“Can I just ask, just between us, what the fuck are you doing?” Once again, George had let his tongue go.

“Pardon me?”

“He told you that he loves you. Do you have any idea how much work that took him?”

Amelia rolled her eyes. “Of course you’d say that. You’re on his side!” She sighed. “I need time, George.”

“Time for what? The two of you have been obsessed with each other since- since- for as long as I can remember.”

“It shouldnt be work. Telling someone that you love them. It isn’t supposed to be this hard, don’t you think? Besides, he- he lied to me, George! He kept things from me. He made decisions for me. Assumed what’s best for me and what relationship I want to be in, and reached the conclusion that I wouldn’t want to be with him, all on his own. Without ever mentioning it to me. Do you really think that’s a good start to a relationship?”

“Has it ever occurred to you that those decisions he made, though misguided, have more to do with how he feels about himself than how he feels about you? Look- this conversation doesn’t make any sense. You should be having it with him. Not me.”

“I’m trying. But he has this….effect on me. I don’t know how to say no to him.”

“Then don’t. Say yes to him. Or for fucks sakes put him out of his misery.”

Amelia shrugged in defeat. “So, like, kill him? Don’t you think that’s a bit extreme?…sorry. I was just making a joke.”

***

Amelia watched from the side of the stage as Matty held up the tech workers by hogging one of the machines. He wriggled cords, pressed buttons, and turned dials on the soundboard with a deep confused look on his face. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck me. Fuckin hell.”

“Matty?” She hovered over his shoulder and he crouched down to check the wires that he’d already check on seconds ago. “What’s going on?”

“I can’t get this thing to work!” He jammed it into the outlet.

“Oh, I’ll …go get George.”

“No! Don’t do that!” He caught himself being a tad too angry and paused, deliberately adjusting his tone. “I’m…trying something. He won’t like me messing about. Ruining his….psychotic ‘system’ that he’s so protective of.”

She laughed, in an attempt to lighten the mood. “Well, maybe I can help?”

“You can’t. It’s- too complicated. You wouldn’t understand.”

She scoffed. “Yeah, right. Cuz I’m a certified idiot.” She turned around. “My bad. Won’t try to be helpful again.”

“Wait, what? Amelia! That’s not what I meant!”

“Fuck off.” She yelled out as she made her way out of the room.

***

Amelia set her book, face down, onto the duvet slowly, careful not to make any noise. She hadn’t ordered any room service, or contacted the front desk to send anything up to her room. She checked her phone for any texts or missed calls from anyone who might have tried to reach her through other means first, but nothing came up. This is why she hates being a woman, traveling solo, in strange places with dubious door locks.

She tiptoed over to the door, taking a peek. Shaking her head and cursing under her breath, she opened the door.

“Matty, what’re you doing here?”

He leaned against the doorframe. “Full disclosure: I’m a little bit buzzed right now. Not like off my tits or anything. But I’ve had a couple of drinks. if you send me away, I’ll understand.”

“Come in and be quiet. It’s late.” As always, she never could say no to him.

“I- I just wanted to come over here and say I’m sorry. I can’t stand the thought of you being angry at me. It makes me sick to my stomach. I can’t sleep at night. I feel so- I don’t even know.” He shrugged, feeling suddenly helpless after making a dramatic entrance. His confidence was deflating as he looked into her eyes. He took a few hesitant steps, and, to his surprise, she didn’t back away.

“What I’m about to say…. I probably wouldn’t say completely sober,” he stepped even closer, more confidently now. “but- I think- the fact that you’re upset with me means that you love me, too. You love me, still. If you’d moved on by now, this wouldn’t be so difficult. You’d just….gently let me down and we’d move on.”

Amelia felt tears prickling her eyes.

“I get it. I’m a dickhead. I just wanted to be perfect for you. I wanted to wait until things were perfect. Not while I’m in the middle of a public crucifixion. I- I’ve ruined everyone who’s been associated with me. I mean, you’ve seen the Charli and Rina nonsense. And Jack, and..people I haven’t spoken to in ages….im on this insane tour where I try to mother a naked body double of myself onstage every night for some reason.” He giggled at his own words. “And- well, you know my state of mind. I just didn’t want you getting caught up in all that. I didn’t want to bring you down with me. I promise I wasn’t trying to hide things from you or make you choices for you. I- I just wanted to spare you the burden of…well, me.”

He looked her directly in the eyes, gently holding her by the shoulders. “I love you, Amelia. Forgive me?” He whispered, wiping a stray tear away with the pad of his finger. “Yeah? Say you forgive me please?” He dipped his head down, his nose brushing against hers. “Love me? Please?”

He kissed her lips. Her eyes fluttered shut, leaning into him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. His kissing grew desperate, whining and moaning into her mouth. She bit his lower lip, her hands roaming the hair on the back of his head.

He pulled away, regretful that his lungs couldn’t hold out even longer, and smiled against her lips.

“So, does this mean.. that I’m forgiven?”

Instead of responding, Amelia pulled him into her bed. She leaned further back the more that he inched closer, kissing her once more, until she was lying flat on her back and he was hovering over her.

Their clothes quickly discarded in a heap by the foot of the bed, Matty kissed up and down her body, hungrily, his breath hot against her skin, as he whispered “I love you” and “I’ve missed you” over and over like a prayer. His fingers ran down her sides, raising goosebumps all over her skin, his hands would find her breasts as he kissed below her stomach, and grab her hips as he kissed her neck, she was a mess by time that he’d dipped below her waist.

“May I please taste you?” He asked, softly, glancing up at her through his eyelashes.

“God, what’re you waiting for?” She pushed his face down between her legs, perhaps a little too aggressively. Matty’s chuckle was muffled by her skin, she felt the air of his breath in her core and throughout her whole body.

“Oh- fuck- that’s…so good.” She sighed, her eyes closed, a smile on her face.

Matty made quick work of sucking and licking into her, just the way that he knew she liked. Her body jumped abruptly when she felt his mouth on her clit, moaning unabashedly.

The wet sounds that his mouth made of her cunt, coupled with her moaning and whining, made Matty lightheaded with arousal. His own hips pushed instinctively into the bed as he attempted to steady hers.

“M-matty?”

Amelia tapped his shoulder when he didn’t seem to hear her. “Matty, honey?” She paused to admire the blissful look in his eyes and the glistening of his face. He was growing more eager to please her by the second, losing all sense of himself, sinking into submission.

“I- umm…need you inside me. Can’t wait any longer.”

Still panting, Matty nodded and propped himself up quickly, anxious to do as she says.

“Oh. Erm….condom.” He whispered, looking around for his discarded jeans.

“Check the nightstand, baby. It’s closer anyway.”

Matty fumbled and slipped in his attempt to slide over to the side of the bed, his entire body shaking and anxious. Amelia giggled at the mess that he’d been reduced to.

“You stay put, I’ll get it.”

“I can do -“

“Don’t you dare move okay?”

She handed him the packet, noticing that his receiving hand was trembling, she scanned his face carefully for a moment. “It’s okay. I’ll do it.”

“Sorry.” His cheeks turned read as he watched her roll it onto him.

“Nothing to be sorry about.”

It always amazed her how their bodies responded differently. For Amelia, being with Matty was freeing because it felt safe, steady, the unpredictability never worried her because at the forefront of her mind was the fact that, no matter what happened next, it was never going to hurt her. Matty’s desire, on the other hand, was different. Intense, wild, almost frenetic.

She clutched the duvet with her fists as he pushed into her, watching him throw his head back and groan in pleasure. All the anticipation that had him shaking had now come to a head. His body overwhelmed with stimulation from

Head to toe he remained perfectly still for a moment.

“Fuck…you’re so-“ his words dissolved into a gasp of pleasure feeling her stretch around him. “Tight.” He finally let out, smiling.

“Perfect for me.”

She’d forgotten just how perfectly their bodies fit together, how precise the movement of his hips could be, how well he’d knew her movements and preferences. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into her chest and feeling the weight of his body on top of hers.

Matty buried his face in the space between her neck and her shoulder, moaning and whining into her ear as his hips rolled against hers. The sound of his voice and the shockwaves of pleasure overtook her.

“M-matty, I’m gonna cum.”

The words were barely out of her mouth before he felt her clench around him, her body straining against the weight of his.

His own pleasure followed closely after, feeling her cum all over his cock was just enough to tip him over the edge.

“May I-“

“Yes, go on, Matty. Cum for me.”

His face in the crook of her neck, she felt his thrusts grow harder, less intentional, he moaned out her name as he let go.

They both almost fell asleep in the perfect stillness, basking in bliss. It was a long time before either one of them made a move. It was Matty lazily turning his head to kiss her neck.

She smiled at the gesture, wrapping her arms around him.

“So, I think we have a lot to figure out now.” She mused.

Matty lifted his head ever so slightly to look at her. “Wanna figure it out over some dinner?”

She chuckled, her chest rising and falling under his. “I don’t think this conversation is the kind you wrap up over dinner. Unless you’re planning a very long feast. Which doesn’t sound too bad actually. I’m starving.”

“No, I know. But, we can start it over dinner. No rush, right?”

***

“Give me your phone.”

Matty blinked rapidly, looking down at Amelia’s open palm. she, on the other hand, stared right at him with an unwavering gaze. “Hand it over, Healy.”

“No.” He enunciated dramatically, trying, and failing, to his the grin on his face.

“What did you just say to me?”

Matty giggled, his sweet, melodic laugh almost wearing Amelia down. “Let me see, hmm….i believe I said ‘No.’”

“Alright, you leave me no choice. If I count to three and your phone isn’t in my hand, I’m gonna make sure you can’t take your shirt off and slut around onstage for the rest of the tour without the entire world seeing what I’ve done to your body.”

Amelia’s words sent a thrill through him, but he was adamant on winning this round. “That…sounds kinda hot, actually.”

Amelia burst into laughter. The sound of her voice always made him happy, even if he was rather confused at the moment.

“What? What’re you laughing about? Oi! Knock it off!”

“Sorry; sorry. I was just picturing the look on Jamie’s face when you took off your shirt and revealed big, bright red marks all over your chest and back.”

Matty rolled his eyes, groaning dramatically. “Fuckin hell….fine, fine. You can have my phone. Delete whatever you like, I’ll just download the app all again tomorrow.”

“Bitch, please. Do you think I was born yesterday?”

Amelia unironically calling him ‘bitch’ amused him endlessly. “What- did you just call me?”

He asked in between giggles, but she was too engrossed in her work.

“Alright. So, I’ve changed your Twitter password. Now I’m going to delete the app. On to Instagram….”

“Fuckin hate you.”

“You love me.”

“I do.” He admitted without a fight.

“It’s for your own good, you know. Alright, I’m done with Instagram. Now, I’ll change your Apple ID Password.”

Matty plopped down on the bed dramatically. Whining and kicking his feet. “You’re no fun! What if I want memes! Hmm? What then?”

“Use google.”

“What am I? a hundred years old?” He sat up quickly, offended by her suggestion.

“Here.” She handed him his phone back. “Don’t worry. I’ll text you memes every day. Unless of course I found out that you’ve been googling yourself.”

The petulant act crumbled away as soon as Matty’s eyes met hers. He smiled instinctually, already forgetting what it was that he was complaining about moments prior. He leaned in, kissing her lips, his eyelashes tickling her skin.

“Thank you. I know you’re trying to help.”

***

Matty’s naked body was drenched in sweat, his lips swollen, his thighs shaking almost as hard as the vibrator that Amelia had strapped to one of them.

“A-Amelia? I’m- ohhh… I’m dizzy.” He pulled against his restraints, too weak to even make them rattle.

“It’s cuz you’re so desperate.” She smirked.

“Please? I- I don’t know how much more I can take….feel like I’m on the edge of- of-“ he exhaled a puff of hot air “passing out.”

“That’s fine by me.”

“Fuck! Wh- what?”

His shock amused her. “Tell you what, let’s make a deal.”

“A-anything you want just please let me cum.”

“You’ve got two options. You get to cum right now-“

“Yes, yes! I choose that one, yes- let’s do that one!”

Amelia chuckled, “hold on let me finish. Hear me out.” She sat down on the bed to be at eye level with him. “You can either cum right now BUT then I won’t touch you for a whole week. ORRRR…you get another ruined orgasm and we carry on as usual.”

“What? Jesus fuckin Christ! Why?! Why- why won’t you touch me?”

She shrugged. “Which option do you want?”

Matty stared blankly ahead, more sweat pouring down his body, his chest rising and falling rapidly. He felt the pleasure that he’d been warding off for ages rise up again. His legs trembling.

“Co-could you- erm- turn it off so- I can think for a bit? Please?”

“Nope. You gotta think with the vibrator on you.”

He let out a pathetic whine.

“So…if I cum, you won’t touch me for a week…does that mean-“

She took mercy on him and finished his thought for him, “it means no sex, no hugs, no hand-holding. No physical contact of any sort.”

“No- no cuddles?” His eyes widened.

She laughed, taken off guard by his surprisingly endearing concern. “No cuddles.”

He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, attempting to scrape some focus together to weigh his options. “If- if I let you ruin my orgasm- when- uhh” he paused, his eyebrows shooting up, “oh god. I…think I’m gonna-“ he swallowed whatever moisture had remained in his mouth, his lips sticking together.

“If you choose a ruined orgasm nothing changes. Might let you cum tonight. Or it might be next week. Or next month. We just carry on with what we’re doing.”

“Oh god. I can’t! I can’t choose! You choose for me!”

She watched his stomach tighten as he did his best to repress his pleasure. “What’s the fun in that?”

He attempted to smile but his confused state of mind and loss of control over his body made it difficult.

“Okay…okay. I - I choose- no orgasm. Don’t wanna cum. Ruin it if you want. Or- or keep edging me. I won’t cum. Promise.”

“Awe, really?” She rushed over to him and pulled his dangling head back so they could lock eyes. “Are you sure about that? You look ready to give up.”

“I’m sure. No orgasm.”

He felt high on the sensation of her hand cupping his face and was never more certain of a choice in his life. He’d never willingly give up a week of that.

Amelia reached over and untied his left wrist, helping to bring his hand down to his lap.

“Here’s the best bit,” she smiled. “You get to ruin your own orgasm.”

“Beg your fuckin pardon?”

There he was. Defiant and dramatic as ever. The matty that she knew was still in there. She giggled.

“Mhm. You heard me. Whenever you’re ready. You take away your own pleasure.” She stepped back. To give him space and to get a full view.

“Why? Can’t it just be you? Please?”

“I wanna see if you’d have the guts to do it.”

He thought about her words for a second, responding with a weak and small voice “ I’d do anything for you.” He resigned himself to his fate and brought his hand down to the bottom of the vibrator. His shaky fingers circling the control buttons to make out which button was the one he was going to need. “G-gonna, Erm- count out loud. For you.”

She nodded.

Matty counted slowly, breathlessly, on the count of 3, he let go, getting ready to cum, and just as his body began to relax, he turned the toy off, the vibrations stopping abruptly.

He screamed in pain his hips reflexively thrusting forward, chasing the nonexistent stimulation. His cock twitching involuntarily, his own cum hitting his face.

“Fuck! Ow! Hurrrtsss so- much” a high pitched whimper left his lips. His hard cock, sensitive, twitched slightly. He fought the sting of tears in his eyes.

Amelia attempted to act calm about it, but a piece of her hated seeing him in so much pain. Even when it was pain that he’d agreed to and that she enjoyed. She rushed over to him, too quickly and worriedly for someone who was meant to revel in putting him through this.

“Hey, Matty…” she spoke softly, hesitantly approaching the bed, unsure if he wanted her close or if he needed a minute.

“I- did it.” Matty whispered, his voice slightly strained from his earlier crying.

She was relieved to hear him, hurrying to kiss his lips. “You did it. You did so fuckin well.”

“Yeah? I was good?”

“You were the best!”

He sighed, relieved. “Okay. Good. Cuz I’m quite competitive.”

Amelia laughed silently, shaking her head at him.

“Right. Let’s untie you here…” she reached over to undo his right wrist, and then his ankles.

“Are we finished?” Matty asked with a soft tone that almost melted her heart.

“I think that’s enough for tonight. You’re drained.”

Amelia and Matty sat side by side, his spinning head resting on her shoulder. Every once in a while, she would nudge him and bring a water bottle to his lips, urging him to take a sip and replenish the fluid that he’d lost. He lacked the energy to express his gratitude but Amelia knew he was thankful anyway. He didn’t need to say anything.

“Matty? Can I ask - I mean… you were on the verge of busting like a few times tonight. Why- why didn’t you choose that option?”

“You don’t think I wanted to?” He laughed.

“Well, why didn’t you? I gave you the chance.”

“Didn’t wanna go without your touch for a whole fuckin week.” He stated simply as if it was the most obvious truth.

“Dirty boy.”

He smiled. “Nah, I don’t mean that sexually. I mean this…right now. Just…being able to touch you and feel you touch me.” He nuzzled into her.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, Amelia.” His heart nearly jumped out of his body hearing himself say those words. “But…erm…Sexually is nice too, don’t get me wrong…”

***

Matty ran across the airport terminal, his backpack bouncing along, weighing him down. His feet doubled their speed as he got closer and closer to catching up with her. Finally, he tapped her shoulder, quickly intertwining their hands together.

Amelia jumped, startled. She turned around to find Matty’s hand in hers, his other hand offering her a bouquet of flowers.

“Are those for me? When did you-“

“Flower shop over there.” He kissed her cheek, his arm reaching over to take her suitcase.

“Thank you…wow. What’s the occasion?”

Matty shrugged. “Dunno. Saw a family buying some for…I presume someone that they’re picking up or whatever. Figured why not. You deserve flowers too.”

“That’s sweet of you, Matty. Did you have a good flight?” She squeezed his hand.

“Would’ve been better if you’d sat next to me.”

“I…know. But I figured you have a hard time with flights and….i don’t know. Maybe you’d want some space. Hann always seems to know what to do when you’re overwhelmed.”

Matty nodded. “It was good to hang out with the boys, yeah. But I wouldn’t have minded having you there. Did you have a good flight?”

“Perfect. Had dinner and a drink, put on a face mask, went right to sleep.”

Matty’s eyebrows shot up. “You and I handle travel very differently.”

***

“Remind me again why we’re doing this?” Amelia stood over him, lighting the candles one by one and gleefully watching him squirm.

“I- fucked up.” He winced in anticipation of anything happening to his bare chest.

“Be more specific.” She clicked her tongue.

“I’ve been ignoring all the rules. For over a week. I haven’t…really had a good nights sleep or a proper meal in ages.”

“And I warned you.” Amelia felt her frustration regain its power as she thought about his recently actions.

“I’m sorry.”

She smiled. “You’re not. But you’re about to be.”

Matty whined, squeezing his eyes shut.

Molten wax pooled in the middle of the candle, Amelia tilted it, holding it over Matty’s chest and watching the liquid tip over the edge and drip down onto his skin.

“Oh FUCK!” He hissed, his body jumping at the sensation.

“Eh. That wasn’t too bad. I should do it over your nipples now.”

“What- no! Please- OH MY- fuckkkk. That HURTS!” He yelled.

“Breathe, Matty, breathe. Open your eyes. Look at me…. There you are. Prettiest boy. Listen, you know you can tap out, right?”

He nodded, his pained expression relaxing gradually.

“Okay. Just checking. Now, gotta do it to your other nipple.”

“Christ! That- is-“ he gasped, his body shuddering in pain.

The more his tolerance built up, the more aggressive Amelia got with her wax, drawing shapes of different sizes and colors all over his chest? stomach, and circling the tattoo right above his hip. She had him crying and apologizing in no time. But it wasn’t until she’d asked matty to turn around so she could torture his calfs and underside of his knees that his worst pain hit him.

“Matty?” She called out to him as she set down her candles. “Matty, love, look at me, please.”

His sweat and tear cover face turned towards her. The look in his eyes told her all she needed to know.

“How’s your pain right now?”

“I’m fine.”

Amelia remained quiet. giving him a chance to change his answer. She repeated her question, again “how’s your pain right now?”

“Keep- keep going. I can take it.”

She sighed and rolled her eyes before getting up to blow the candles out. “You’re not getting this are you?”

Matty had to admit that his head was foggy with pain, Adrenalin, and the desperate desire to atone for his mistakes, but still, he felt he’d done nothing wrong.

“I’m tapping out.” Amelia announced. “I’m calling red. We’re done. This is over.”

Matty sat up quickly, his head spinning from the sudden movement. “What? Why! What have I done? I’m sorry! Amelia, please! I don’t wanna make more mistakes-“

“You haven’t made any more mistakes. That’s the thing, Matty. It’s the same mistake that you keep making over and over again. You burn yourself out, neglect your own wellbeing, just to accomplish the things that you think will make you worthy of the most fundamental needs.”

Matty felt her words like daggers to the heart. He knew this about himself. But he liked to pretend that it worked for him. Listening to Amelia lay it out for him so bluntly felt like a betrayal of confidence.

“You did it all week when you ignored sleep and food and rest to squeeze in every bit of work possible. And you did it just now by forcing yourself to take more than you can handle to make me happy. I pushed your limit on purpose. To see if you’d tap out. And you didn’t. But I know you were in pain.” She broke her own heart as she spoke. “I’ve - never - seen you writhe and bite down on the bedding so hard before.” She sighed, disappointed that her excitement had yielded the exact result that she knew it would. “I can’t have you treating yourself so poorly. And- honestly, we can fuck around with pain like this if I can’t trust that you’ll safe word out of the situation whenever you’re no longer having fun. I punish you so that you don’t have to punish yourself. What you’re doing, forcing your body through….its never gonna work.”

She watched him tug at the duvet nervously and knew that he was overwhelmed. She wished she knew how to help him process whatever was going on with him. The fact that this was reaching levels of concern beyond her capacity to handle scared her. He needed more help that she could give him.

***

Tonight’s show was amazing. Amelia spoke softly, running her fingers through his hair. She was half certain that he’d fallen asleep with his head in her lap.

He hummed in response, proving her wrong. “Was, wasn’t it?” He mumbled, his words slurring, voice laced with sleep.

“You wanna go to bed?” She suggested

“Wanna stay with you.”

“The idea is that…well…I’d be in the bed with you.”

Matty smiled, taking a deep breath and mustering all his leftover energy to open his eyes slowly. “Hi.” He looked up at her. “I just mean…we haven’t had a chance to spend time together in a minute. Just us.”

“I know. But you’re tired. Which is understandable. You put on a great show. I can’t imagine having any energy left after that…’People’ performance.”

A slow, self-satisfied smile grew on his face. He blushed at the compliment. “I was pretty good, wasn’t I…”

“You all were.”

Matty sighed, relaxing further into the bed. “The thing about us, Amelia, is that-“

“You just keep getting better baby?”

Matty chuckled loudly, his whole body shaking as he laughed. His sleepiness definitely made everything seem funnier. “I love that you can read my mind.”

***

Amelia’s heart pounded in her chest as she shuffled out of bed, rushing to the door. She checked to see who was knocking at her door at this ungodly hour. Relieved that it was Matty, she opened the door quickly.

“What on earth brings you-“ the look on his face rendered her instantly speechless. “Matty what’s wrong?”

“My head is- I don’t know. I can’t stop thinking. I’m so anxious. I can’t sleep. Brain feels so full. Like it’s going to explode.”

She didn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around him and pull him in for a tight hug. “It’s okay. You’re okay, Matty. Breathe, my love.”

She gently guided him into the bedroom, rubbing slow circles into his back.”

“Oh, fuck. You were asleep weren’t you? I woke you up didn’t I? I - I shouldn’t have come here, I’m sorry…I’ll - I’ll leave.”

He made an attempt to pull away, but Amelia held on to him, perhaps, too aggressively, “no! You’re not going anywhere”

She held his hand, leading him around the room, to bed, urging him to sit down. “Stay here. I’ll turn on the light and get you some tea or something.”

“Don’t want any tea, Amelia. I just…I want….”’

“What do you want?”

“I want you. Just you.”

She slid into bed next to him, letting him toss and turn, and wiggle around until he got comfortable. When she was certain that his nervous energy had stopped simmering, she pulled him into her chest listening to his breathing mellow as he l focused less on what was going on inside his head and more on the feeling of her skin against his.

In the harsh light of day, Matty’s panic felt even worse. like a hangover without the reckless indulgence of the night before. He knew he couldn’t continue to feel this way for much longer.

“I think I need help.” He suddenly announced, breaking the silence in the room as Amelia had busied herself with arranging their room service breakfast.

“What do you mean?”

“Professional help.”

“Oh. O-Kay. Umm…that’s good! It’s good, right?”

“I have no fuckin clue.” He spoke slowly, his voice getting lower and lower with each word.

This didn’t seem like breakfast conversation, so Amelia let go of the cutlery and sat on the bed next to him.

She held his hand in hers. “It’s good, Matty. This is good. It’s the right thing to do.”

“I don’t know that it is. I don’t think im the sort of person who does well with relinquishing control to the authority of others.”

She couldn’t argue with him there.

“The very notion of therapy depends on someone having privileged access to my brain. Knowing more about me than me. Does that not sound utterly absurd? That’s fuckin mental!”

“Well, I wouldn’t put it that way. They don’t know more about you than you do. They just know more about whatever….psychological disorder you’ve got and they know ways around it or whatever.”

Matty rolled his eyes. “What if- what if that’s not true. What if ‘disorder’ is just a word for weird. Like, weird isn’t always a bad thing.”

“No, no.” Amelia shook her head. “Respectfully, nope.” She squeezed his hand “you are more than just your fucked up brain. And the fact that you identify your entire existence with the thing that’s hurting you is proof that you’re fucked up, kinda.”

“Right.” Matty nodded along.

“Look, you always say that you don’t want to be the kind of person who thrives off of drama, right? You refuse the idea that an artist needs to be fucked up in order to make great art, right?”

“Of course.”

“There’s always this notion that…like…the best artists were great because they were mentally ill. That’s not a thing. Except in tv and film where like characters must suffer to think great thoughts. People always say “oh maybe Van Gogh was a bit crazy but he made great art because he was crazy. That’s just not true! The guy cut off his ear!!!”

Matty giggled. “Gonna cancel you for using the word crazy by the way. Just wait until I tell Twitter. I’ll get myself uncanceled by feeding you to them.”

She rolled her eyes. “Or your example-“

“Right. The Burroughs thing. I’d rather his wife have lived than have read Queer. I get it. I get it. You think you’ve bested me with my own logic. Ugh. Fine.”

Amelia’s face lit up. Proud of herself for disabusing him of his misconceptions. “Fine? Really? As in, you’ll try therapy?”

“I’ll fuckin try. But if they put me on pills and I lose my sparkle, it’ll be your fault.”

“Please. If it were possible, your sparkle would’ve faded a while ago.” She reached over to kiss him.

That kiss was the final push that he needed. Matty waited for her to go into the bathroom after breakfast, and he pulled out his phone.

“Hey, Louis, you alright? Mhm. Right, so, listen. I’d love to chat — maybe I’ll call you back later— but I’m in a hurry. I just wanted to ask if you’ve spoken to mom and dad? And they’re fine with it? Right, no. It’s better if you deliver it. I’ll just fly you out whenever. Text me some dates and stuff. We’ll get it sorted. Okay, cool. Cheers, then. Talk to you soon.”

[aboutkiyoomi]

bed peace

synopsis: after a very hurtful breakup, osamu takes his time to help you heal and takes the time to call suna out on his bs. at graduation, osamu offers up a deal that you almost can’t pass up.

genre: hurt/comfort, fluff 

pairings: osamu x g!n reader (mentions of past suna x g!n reader)

pre a/n: not proofread so don’t eat me up but this is a second part to my angst suna x reader oneshot, linked right here 📍

a/n: it’s kinda funny how this was requested since i only wrote that because it was my personal situation that i turned into a oneshot to feel better. you guys r so cute haha (thank you to @multi-fandom-fanfic for the req and reblog!)

‘ after the breakup, you were notably upset. everyone in a 5 mile radius could tell you were heartbroken.

‘ suna avoided you like the plague the entire duration of exam week. he couldn’t bear the guilt of seeing you.

‘osamu ignored suna for a couple days for how he treated you, claiming that he needed to “think about how much of a dickhead he was being”

‘ osamu made sure to lift your spirits as much as he could, it was so sweet.

“why does y/n look so sad all the time? i thought you guys were on good terms?” atsumu asked as he sat down between suna and osamu during graduation rehearsal.

“nah. we’re done, like for good.” suna mumbled, not even bothering to look up as he continued to scroll on his phone.

“what happened?” atsumu asked, his eyebrows raising at suna’s nonchalant demeanor. it was unusual to see suna ever talk about you with such lackluster eyes.

“dumbass over here was all cuddled up with some girl during the third year picnic.” osamu answered before suna could get the chance, glaring at him slightly.

“wha- you guys were on a break then, no? sunarin, wtf?” atsumu spoke, his face curling up in a displeased way.

“i wasn’t even doing anything. like you said, it was a break. they took it personally i guess because they thought we were getting back together.” suna started with a harsh sigh, eyes refusing to look up because he knew osamu and probably atsumu were now glaring daggers at him.

atsumu and osamu considered you a really good friend. when suna introduced you to them, you guys immediately bonded. the twins treated you as a sweet little sibling and always made sure to threaten suna for hurting you.

“you are such a dickhead. i hope you know that.” osamu scoffed, his irritation for the whole situation was strong. 

after the picnic, osamu made sure to text you after seeing you walk off with tears staining your face. he wanted to give you space but wanted to make sure that you were alright because he cared for you a lot more than he led on. after a couple of days of sulking, osamu pulled you aside after your chemistry exam and asked you what was wrong. you explained everything and he immediately began comforting you. he went straight to suna and asked about the sitaution, wanting to hear both sides of the story. after hearing suna’s, samu immediately chewed him out. 

“it was a break, samu. i didn’t even do anything with ayako. i don’t know why you keep bitching about it.” suna spit, his phone finally shut off and his head shot up in irritation.

“maybe because you literally broke, y/n? you led them on for weeks, ever since our last volleyball game. texting them and saying that you loved them. who wouldn’t think you wanna get back together after that? they were so hopeful, just to see you all cuddled up and giggly with some girl. you’re such a dick, you don’t even feel bad. you could at least apologize, have some fuckin’ decency.” osamu’s voice raised slightly, his hands shaking as he moves toward suna.

“that wasn’t my fucking intention, they should’ve never took it to heart. if you care about y/n so damn much, why not go fucking date them. how much longer are you gonna chew me out? i know what i did was fucking stupid, i’ve tried apologizing but they blocked me on everything. what else do you want me to do?” suna yells, passerbys begin to look over at them. atsumu finally steps in and tells both samu and suna to keep it down because you were sitting not far across the room with a group of your friends.

“maybe, apologize in person and i’ll stop chewing you out. if you just act like you actually loved them and maybe, just maybe, sunarin, you would never be in this situation.” osamu spit before standing up and stalking off to go sit by himself, closer to y/n.

suna looks over to atsumu and begins to open up his mouth but atsumu cuts him off with a quick dissapointed head shake before speaking, “no, you fucked up. ya gotta fix it, sunarin.” and walks off to join his brother, leaving suna in his silence.

****

graduation rehearsal ended and you spent most of the free time sitting with your friends and the twins, laughing about silly school memories. it had been 2 weeks since the break up and although you were busy, you were still really upset. even after it all, osamu stayed by your side and tried to make you smile and laugh as much as possible.

as you said goodbye to your friends, preparing to walk home you heard someone call your name. you turned around to see suna, standing there. your eyes widened and you spun on your heels, ready to walk away.

“wait, y/n. please, i just want to explain.” suna spoke, his eyes pleading as he walked closer to you.

“what.” you spoke, not bothering to look up, passing off an irritated voice.

“um..i just wanted to explain. i’m sorry if i lead you on, i never really intended on getting back toget-” suna started, his fingers fumbling with the edges of his shirt.

“i’m gonna stop you there. if that was the case, you could’ve said something. the reason for that break was for you to be honest about what you wanted. so don’t try and say that you “didnt mean too,” you spoke and suna retaliated in an embarrassed silence.

“i’m sorry..you didn’t deserve that and you should know that nothing was ever going on with me and that girl, from the third year picnic. i really wish you the best, i’m sorry...again.” suna said, making sure to finally look up at your state. your eyes lacked their normal shine and your face wasn’t as radiant as it used to be, the guilt and regret was hitting him like a bus.

“not saying we’re gonna be cool after this but i appreciate it. have a good life too, suna.” you finished before walking off in the opposite direction, leaving suna to his thoughts again. it seems that it was now suna’s time to be heartbroken.

*****

graduation day

“i can’t believe it, we’re finally graduates. it’s so cool that we’ll be going to the same college.” you said to osamu as you guys waited for atsumu to finish crying over his high school days being over and saying goodbye to nearly the entire population of third years.

“yea, seems like you’re the only one excited.” samu says, somber smile gracing his features.

“tsumu still pissed at you?” you asked, patting his shoulder sweetly.

“yup, only talked with me when our ma’ wanted pictures. he’ll get over it, he’s excited to see me open up a restaurant, he just won’t admit it.” osamu spoke with a sigh as he leaned his weight on you. both of you chatting before osamu noticed suna glancing over at you with sad eyes.

“hey, y/n. are you okay? after ya know, suna almost ruined the end of your third year.” osamu asked gently, pushing you back slightly so he can look you in your eyes.

“it sucks but he apologized and honestly, i’m over it. it was what it was. i’m ready to move on.” you said, confidently as you smiled happily at osamu who’s face lit up with warmth.

“oh and y/n, you deserve real love and someone who’s willing to give it to you.” osamu said, his eyes never leaving yours.

“maybe i’ll find them in college.” you replied.

“or maybe, it could be me.” osamu said, smile growing larger as he watched your eyes widen slightly in shock.

“i like you a lot y/n....you don’t have to answer now. there’s a lot of time for us to become....us.” samu said before pulling you in for a quick hug, allowing you to relax at how comforting osamu had always been.

[nemesyaaa]

IT WAS SOOOO ADDICTIVE PLEASE, I FORGET HOW TO BREATH DURING THE WHOLE READING. LIKE omgg my mouth is just wide open, and i enjoy it, the drama is so good. you ate ??? AND I love the attitude of the reader, yes girl stand up, dont let this man acting so shitty and think it will be okay ??? do you have some another toxic things like that ? i can get tired of your amazing writings. you're so talented everytime ✨

“..i don’t know about that, man. y/n has a bitch fit everytime i go somewhere without her, i highly doubt she’d be okay with me going there of all places.” you stood outside your bedroom door, rolling your eyes at the sound of topper’s voice. “who cares what she says? she’s not your fuckin’ mommy, bro.” you suppressed a laugh, knowing rafe has called you ‘mommy’ a numerous amount of times. your boyfriend sighed, staying silent for a moment. “look, i’ll ask her alright? if she says no then i ain’t going.” you smiled to yourself, walking into the room with a fresh stack of t-shirts in your hands. LMFAOOOO THIS IS TOPPER WHO SAY THAT ? need to slap him (about that, a prompt where reader slap rafe bc he's going to far 🤫🤫😚)

“and where do y’all plan on going?” rafe cleared his throat awkwardly. “well.. you know how the guys are, they always wanna go to some new place..” he trailed off, clearly stalling as much as he could. “just say it, rafe.” he swallowed nervously. “a strip club.” suddenly his hands felt tense on your skin, and he couldn’t hold your stare. “a strip club?” you repeated, pulling away from him. “that’s cute, but no.” rafe tongued the inside of his cheek, immediately taking out his phone.

"That's cute but no" 😚😚😚😚😚 listen to mama

[10:55 PM] - i don’t know what’s funnier; the fact that you had a whole conversation with yourself in front of me to make it sound like you were just getting pizza and beer with your dickhead friends, or forgetting to take me off your close friends list when you want to post yourself at some sleazy ass strip club. you’re a fucking joke. KDKEKDKKD I CAN'T STOP SMILING

[11:15 PM] - there’s nothing you could say that’ll ‘explain’ what the fuck you did. you sat there in my face and kissed me and reassured me when you were getting your way all along. can you even comprehend how fucked up that is? you made me look stupid in front of your friends who already don’t like me. AND THE TOPLESS PICTURE???? ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE???? if i posted a picture with my tits all in jj’s face, how would you feel? we both know he’s one phone call away if i really wanted him.

KFKZKFKEKEKEKEE ICONIC reader time✨✨✨✨

“and what about everything i do for you?” you let out a shaky breath. “i’m what makes this house a home. i wear the clothes you want me to wear, i eat the food you want me to eat, i talk the way you want me to talk. i’m here when all else fails. i’m the one who holds you and comforts you when things get hard for you. i’m the one who makes sure you never feel alone, ‘makes sure you don’t go through anything alone. i do everything you say. on the days you work long and hard, i’m right here waiting for you with my legs open. on the days that you’re particularly tired, i’ll be on my knees, i’ll ride you and do all the work, and i’ll do everything happily because i love you.” rafe was crying with you by the time you finished speaking, both of you standing in the hallway.

i love this moment so bad, she's so right 🫠

AND OMGGG THE RAFE'S ANSWERS, MAN UR JUST A MAN WHO DON'T GET IT PLEASE SHUT UP

sometimes toxics relationships are so interesting to read, tysm !!! i have so much pleasure in this <333

Toxic!Rafe and toxic!reader, where they’re fighting because he wants to go out to a strip bar with Topper and Kelce which reader hates (she thinks they encourage his bad behavior) after she told him no. so when reader goes on insta to look at Rafes story and sees he lied and went anyways after seeing a pic of him in the sniffers row at the bar, she gets all crazy and starts responding to the story with full paragraphs 😭 and so when he starts replying she blocks him mid argument, and he goes home and yells at her until they get all lovey dovey again 🥰 (sorry this is long)

warnings: toxic relationship (?), slight humor, cussing, lying, crying, shouting, arguing, mentions of sex, a little plot twist at the end

“..i don’t know about that, man. y/n has a bitch fit everytime i go somewhere without her, i highly doubt she’d be okay with me going there of all places.” you stood outside your bedroom door, rolling your eyes at the sound of topper’s voice. “who cares what she says? she’s not your fuckin’ mommy, bro.” you suppressed a laugh, knowing rafe has called you ‘mommy’ a numerous amount of times. your boyfriend sighed, staying silent for a moment. “look, i’ll ask her alright? if she says no then i ain’t going.” you smiled to yourself, walking into the room with a fresh stack of t-shirts in your hands.

“here she is now, i’ll call you back.” you placed the folded laundry on top of the dresser. “tell the spawn of satan herself we say hello!” kelce shouted in the background. “aww is that dumb and dumber on the phone? hey, guys!” rafe shook his head, a laugh tumbling out of his throat. he hung up the call, getting up to wrap his arms around your waist. you leaned into him, breathing in his cologne as you pressed a kiss to his cheek. “listen, uh, topper and kelce are inviting me out tonight, ‘wanted to know if i can join them..” you arched a brow, turning around in his hold.

“and where do y’all plan on going?” rafe cleared his throat awkwardly. “well.. you know how the guys are, they always wanna go to some new place..” he trailed off, clearly stalling as much as he could. “just say it, rafe.” he swallowed nervously. “a strip club.” suddenly his hands felt tense on your skin, and he couldn’t hold your stare. “a strip club?” you repeated, pulling away from him. “that’s cute, but no.” rafe tongued the inside of his cheek, immediately taking out his phone.

[4:30 PM] to: topper, kelce: i’m in, pick me up at nine.

“what are you doing?” you eyed him as he brought the phone up to his ear, walking around to the other side of the bed. “m’telling them i can’t go, because you’re gonna be all pissed off if i do.” you scoffed, eyeing him carefully. rafe cursed under his breath, praying to god you couldn’t tell he wasn’t actually calling anyone. “hey, bro. i can’t go, it’s a hard no.” he scratched the back of his neck. “yeah, i know. maybe another time- wait, where?” rafe stopped pacing, nodding along to his own imagination. “pizza and beer? that sounds good. nine o’clock? alright i’ll see y’all then.” he shrugged as he pretended to hang up.

“alright, no strip club, but charlie’s pizza instead, is that alright?” you nodded. “that’s fine, but you better text me.” he jumped up, pulling you into a hug that ended with you two falling in bed. “i mean it rafe, i want pizza pictures and everything!” he showered you with kisses, taking his time when he got to your lips. you two stayed like that for a few minutes, making out softly before you pulled away. “you should start getting ready before i get too horny, ‘cause then i really won’t let you go anywhere.” you ran your thumb over his bottom lip, sighing when he got up. “good call.” he laughed, getting an outfit ready for tonight.

nine o’clock rolled around faster than you wanted it to, and sure enough topper and kelce were outside honking like maniacs once they pulled up. “i love you, baby, i’m gonna text you in a bit.” you smiled, watching him holler all the way down to where topper and kelce practically tackled him. “we promise to have him home no later than one, mommy dearest!” you gave kelce the middle finger, shutting the door once rafe blew you a kiss. now that you had the house to yourself you figured you’d shower and unwind, maybe finish the book you had been reading. all was well until you glanced at the time on your phone. 10:45 PM, and still no word from rafe.

you opened instagram, spotting the green circle around your boyfriend’s profile picture, indicating he had posted on his close friends. you clicked on it, your heart dropping at the video of rafe throwing money at a stripper’s ass. “front row seats, baby!” he cheered. just as you thought it couldn’t get any worse, the next story was a photo of a blonde sitting in rafe’s lap, topless and smiling from ear to ear. “this motherfucker..” you closed the app, deciding you saw enough before opening you and rafe’s text thread on imessage.

[10:55 PM] - i don’t know what’s funnier; the fact that you had a whole conversation with yourself in front of me to make it sound like you were just getting pizza and beer with your dickhead friends, or forgetting to take me off your close friends list when you want to post yourself at some sleazy ass strip club. you’re a fucking joke.

rafe had never sobered up so fast in his life, all the blood draining from his face when he read your message. “fuck!” he cursed at himself, his head resting in his hands.

[11:10 PM] my <333: baby i promise i’ll explain everything, i’m telling the guys to take me home right now.

[11:15 PM] - there’s nothing you could say that’ll ‘explain’ what the fuck you did. you sat there in my face and kissed me and reassured me when you were getting your way all along. can you even comprehend how fucked up that is? you made me look stupid in front of your friends who already don’t like me. AND THE TOPLESS PICTURE???? ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE???? if i posted a picture with my tits all in jj’s face, how would you feel? we both know he’s one phone call away if i really wanted him.

rafe’s blood was boiling after he read your message, knowing that you could leave him and have someone as desperate and lovesick as jj replace him in a heartbeat. “bro don’t sweat it, man. she’ll get over it.” topper slurred, entering figure eight again. “shut the fuck up, you don’t know the first thing about being in a relationship.” rafe shot back, clenching his fists when the message he tried to send turned green. topper didn’t respond, the rest of the ride home being dead silent.

rafe didn’t even say bye to kelce or topper when they arrived at tanneyhill, instead he rushed inside, eyes immediately falling to you resting on the couch. you were wearing your pink, fluffy robe, rollers adorning your hair while you were typing something on your ipad. “babe-” rafe shut the door, falling to his knees before you. “don’t get near me. you probably smell disgusting.” rafe’s jaw ticked, his patience already running low. “i’m so fucking sorry, y/n. i shouldn’t have lied to you, baby. i promise i’ll never do that again.” you finally looked at him, his bangs falling in his face.

“i know,” you sighed, “you don’t have to worry about me doing anything either.” you got up, attempting to walk past him before he grabbed your leg. “what are you talking about?” you knew rafe well enough to know when he was getting angry, and the way he was looking at you right now only confirmed your suspicions. “you don’t get to do what you did and think it’s all going to be fine and dandy with an apology, rafe. i’m leaving for my parents tomorrow, and don’t ask me when i’m coming back because i don’t know. i don’t think i can live with a liar.” you shoved him away, only making him grab you again, this time throwing you down on the couch.

“you don’t think you could live with a liar?” he narrowed his eyes, a bitter laugh falling from his lips. “has it ever occurred to you that i wouldn’t have to lie to you if you would just not freak the fuck out everytime i want to go out and have fun?” you couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. “you’re one to talk!” you screamed in his face, making him stand up. you followed suit, refusing to let him make you feel powerless. “you wanna act like you’re trapped here? fine! play the victim, but don’t forget everything you do to keep me from going out too.” you were pacing back and forth now, running your fingers through your hair.

“you literally slashed my friend’s tires to keep me from going to her birthday party, and all for what? because you found out other guys were going to be there?” he pinched the bridge of his nose. “i paid for the damages, y/n…” he groaned. “so?! it’s the principal! you do the most when it comes to me wanting to go somewhere, but me telling you not to go to a literal strip club is where you draw the line?? fuck you!” you started making your way upstairs, rafe right on your tail as you did so.

“fuck me?! i’m the one who takes care of you! there’s nothing in this world that you want and don’t have! i take you on regular vacations, i take you out damn near everyday, i keep you in all the newest shit, i pay for you and all your friend’s beauty appointments so that y’all could have a girl’s day twice a month, you just have no fucking clue!” he shouted, making you stop in your tracks. you looked up at him with tears in your eyes, breaking his heart in two.

“and what about everything i do for you?” you let out a shaky breath. “i’m what makes this house a home. i wear the clothes you want me to wear, i eat the food you want me to eat, i talk the way you want me to talk. i’m here when all else fails. i’m the one who holds you and comforts you when things get hard for you. i’m the one who makes sure you never feel alone, ‘makes sure you don’t go through anything alone. i do everything you say. on the days you work long and hard, i’m right here waiting for you with my legs open. on the days that you’re particularly tired, i’ll be on my knees, i’ll ride you and do all the work, and i’ll do everything happily because i love you.” rafe was crying with you by the time you finished speaking, both of you standing in the hallway.

“i get up at the ass crack of dawn and doll myself up everyday because i want to look good for you, i want to please you with everything i do. when we go to the country club, i speak of you in the highest regards, and i do it because i want everyone to know that i respect you. i do all of this, and i do it all without the commitment of having a fucking ring on my finger. if that doesn’t speak volumes for you, then i don’t know what does.” you walked inside your shared bedroom, taking a seat at the edge of the bed. he dropped to his knees once again, hugging your waist like you’d disappear if he let go. “we need each other. i need you.” he cried. you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him up off the floor.

“i love you, y/n. please, you can’t leave.” you cupped his face. “i haven’t seen my parents in almost six months, rafe. i have to..” he nodded slowly, taking your hand in his. “then we’ll go together. ‘tell them we have a special announcement.” you watched him with a confused expression as he went to grab a small box out the bottom drawer of the bedside table. “rafe!” you gasped, hands flying up to cover your mouth. “i’ve had this for a while now, i don’t know what i was waiting for, but i want to do this now.” he opened the box, the biggest diamond you’ve ever seen lighting up your eyes.

“i know we have to work on some things, but there’s no one else i’d rather do this with.” you gazed into his eyes, a small smile gracing your lips. “okay, let’s do it.”

[drinkurkombucha]

I’m OBSESSED with the turn Relinquish just took!! I didn’t think Ross had it in him to admit that he liked it and I almost screamed when he said it (and let’s be real don’t we all like a tied up matty)

Incredibly well written too!! As always <33

This is kinda off topic, but I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on this. I’d love to post some of the stuff I write, but I always feel like it’s not good enough, or not as good as the work of other people who upload regularly but I also feel like in order to get better I’d have to post something at some point. At the same time, I don’t want to post bad stories because I feel like they have to be “of a certain level“ to be posted. Aaah do I even make sense? 🫠

Sorry this is just insecure rambling but maybe you got some tips? 🥹

Thanks for reading anon! ❤️ You’ve come to the right fuckin place with that question anon because I HAVE THOUGHTS about all of this. Many, many thoughts.

Firstly: WRITE YOUR HEART OUT AND POST YOUR SHIT. I would love to read it. We all would. Your words have value and they’re so welcome in this space. The one thing I cannot fucking STAND is people who gatekeep the fic writing space (and they’re out there, and I’ve had run-ins with them too - jfc I *still* get dickheads in my asks telling me my stuff is shit). But if you want to write, congratulations, you are a writer and you deserve this space where you can be creative.

You may feel like your stories are “bad” - I can guarantee you, this is not true. As writers we are our own harshest critics (and I say that as someone who writes for a living). I can’t even tell you the amount of shit I’ve written that I think is awful and it still finds its audience. Your stories don’t have to be at a certain level, all that matters here is that you’re creating and having fun.

What a lot of people forget is that writing is a CRAFT. You build skill and get better the more you do it. So be brave, post the fic, write for joy - I bet you anything you’ll find people out there who will love it. I love it already and I haven’t even read a word of it but I know I’ll love it because I can tell how much you care about it to even ask this question in the first place and that tells me whatever your fic is, there will be passion behind it so it’s already going to be better than half the fics out there.

Anyway, my point is: If you want to write, write. Don’t let what other people are doing dissuade you from that and don’t compare yourself to others. They write their way, yeah, sure, but you write YOUR way and that’s awesome because no one else is capable of writing in the exact same way that you can. So go for it. We’re all waiting for you - my kudos are on ice. Have at it - you belong here.

[adam--bomb]

(( No clue if this is any good or not, but the scene has been bouncing around in my head for a while lmao ))

“I’m going to fucking run him over.”

”No you’re not-“

”Yes, I am.”

”You can’t, he’s-“

”He fucking HIT you-“

Hands gripping the steering wheel hard enough to make her knuckles white, Cass glared at the man standing in the middle of the road in front of her, Gemma’s asshole of an ex-boyfriend. Cass never liked him. Gemma sure knew how to pick them.

In the passenger seat, Gemma reached up to touch the bruise on her face, a black eye, before lowering her hand to scratch at her arm.

”He didn’t mean to-“

”Didn’t mean to?? Are you out of your fucking mind?? Have you LOOKED at yourself?”

If looks could kill the man in the road would have dropped dead in a heartbeat.

“Please calm down, let me talk to him, I swear I can-“

Cass shifted the car from park into drive, as far as she was concerned he didn’t deserve the courtesy of talking to Gemma. Didn’t dereserve to courtesy to breathe if she was quite honest with herself. The fight the couple had had before was insignificant, something so stupid and small that she couldn’t even remember what Gemma had said it was about.

Gemma grabbed the gear shift and quickly changed it back to park, Cass looking back at her with an incredulous look.

”You seriously want to stop me? Are you fucking joking right now-?”

”I’m not stopping you for his sake, its for yours!”

There was a moment of silence, Cass staring, dumbfounded, as muffled yells came from the road. The asshole was making a big show of shouting out his apologies, but neither of the girls paid him any mind.

”The fuck are you talking about?”

”I’m talking about- Didn’t you say you wanted to be a hero?? Do heroes run people over at two o’clock in the morning in the middle of a dark road??”

Silence. Cass looked away awkwardly.

”I mean… they might? If the other person deserved it-“

”You’re full of shit, you know better than that.”

Another pause, Gemma scratched at her arm.

”…Gemma, would you stop that? If you scratch yourself again I’ll have to take you back to the hospital-“

More yelling from the road.

Baby I’m sorry!

Baby I didn’t mean it!

Gemma, please! Once more chance-!

Cass rolled down the window and stuck her head out to yell at him.

”If you don’t shut the fuck up I’ll come out there and beat your ass you deadbeat fuck!!”

Once she pulled her head back in she glanced back at Gemma.

“…Maybe I could just…. Beat him within an inch of his life?” Silence, “Ok fine, two inches?”

Despite the situation Gemma laughed, shaking her head.

”No Cass, you can’t do that. You can’t get into any more trouble. You can’t be a proper hero if-”

”Three inches?”

”Cass.”

With a groan of frustration Cass shifted into reverse, slowly backing away from the man in the road. He didn’t seem to notice, still shouting about forgiveness, his volume probably amplified by the alcohol in his system.

Fuckin idiot.

“Fine. You win. The dickhead gets to live another day.” The urge to get out of the car was still there, and with her quirk it was easy enough to anticipate who would win that fight. He wasn’t quirkless, but he was so intoxicated it probably wouldn’t matter in the end. After reversing a good distance she stopped, turning the wheel in preparation to pull away and down the road, but paused for a moment.

She often felt things like this. It had gotten better, the more she learned how to control her abilities, but it was still there. Too much energy, that’s what they said. Not being able to properly regulate her energy levels resulted in anger, fights, mood swings. Gemma helped in her own way, she always knew to talk some a sense into her eventually. Over the years Cass had learned how to hold it back, she was getting better but-

”Cass?”

”Huh?”

“Your grandma’s going to kill you once she realized you took the car.”

[hakkais-hoe]

Random Nsfw Headcannons

Age warning: 18+ mdni ty

Idk how my brain works but I just feel like they do these 🤷‍♀️

These are like either during sex, sexy things they do or stupid things they’ve done.

Warnings: noting too major, just shit they enjoy or don’t or strange things they do. It’s all sex shit tho

Pt.2

▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️

Ran and Koko both love being overstimulated. They keep going till they’re practically sobbing n shootin blanks.

Kakucho needs intense after care in the form of affirmations that you love him and being able to lay his head on your chest to feel your heartbeat

Rindou likes choking you

Chifuyu has to have his hair pulled to cum

Taijus favourite position is missionary, (he’s a basic bitch) but it’s because he can see how pretty you look screaming his name

Sanzu has a blood kink (might as well be cannon)

South, Draken, Mucho and Hanma have a massive n I mean massive size kink, they want to be able to completely subdue you easily (voluntarily ofc)

Mikey can’t let you reverse cowgirl him cos he cums in seconds 😮‍💨

Sanzu has a corruption kink

Inupi absolutely dies when you ride him on his chair also leaves bruises on ya hips from the force of restraining himself from meeting each of ya bounces

Takeomi once accidentally dropped ash in your hair when you were blowin him, safe to say he’s not allowed to smoke when you’re below him anymore

Rindou and Ran are massive believers in treating vibrators and sex toys as their best friends if ygm 😩

Smiley once let you pull his hair durin sex n almost cried when you pulled a bit out (you’re not allowed near his hair during anything sexual now)

Angry whines when you ride him but goes absolutely feral n blows your back out when he’s on top

Speaking of feral our winners for that shit are: Sanzu, South, Hanma (but he’s rly mean too), Shion and Angry.

Hakkai forgets how big his dick is way too much n hardly preps ya before literally tryna shove it in (please remind him)

Mitsuya is 100% a service dom this man will treat you like pure royalty when he’s fuckin ya (and when he’s not but that’s irrelevant rn)

Kokonoi always,always, always buys ya something with his name on that you have to wear when he fucks ya

Taiju once spanked ya so hard he left a hand print bruise with one hit, the safe word was used that day

South is a complete bastard on your first time with him, called ya some nasty names n you didn’t call him back 😂 he had to come find ya after that

Mucho is way, way too silent when he’s rearranging your internal organs, literally just stares down at you with a straight face for a while, you’re gonna have to tell him that you wanna hear him too ngl

Shions dick once accidentally slapped you right in the face, didn’t ruin the mood but he had to take a five minute break to catch his breath (this man laughs like a hyena too)

Hanma does not know when to ease up with the choking

Mikey can go from the most gentle n sweet thrusts to the most aggressive feral pounding in seconds.

Rindou uses you as a stress reliever, but in a kinda attractive way. Literally comes home n is like “we’re gonna fuck right now” n walks off

Shion n Kakucho have really pretty dicks

Inupi is a massive tease when he first wakes up, this dickhead literally wakes you up with his head between ya legs n a grin on his face or he wakes ya up by grinding his clothed erection into you

Peh-Yan once slung his tie around your neck n used it to choke you while he fucked you on his desk

Sanzu can be unusually gentle with you when he’s been off his “meds” for a few hours, speaks in muttered whispers while he’s treating you like glass

Takeomi always goes with deep n slow thrusts, so gentle yet absolutely mind blowing, it may be gentle but you can practically feel him in your stomach with the way he moves

Taiju always wears condoms unless you’ve both talked throughly about it

Kazutoras moans are really really pretty, even when he’s blowin ya back out he’s practically whining n drooling

Chifuyu likes to bite you on the shoulder when he cums

Shinichiro, Keizo and Wakasa are the most likely to paint ya insides when you squeeze them too tight n it tips them over

Keizo always n I mean always lifts you up n man handles you when you fuck

Wakasa massages ya thighs when he’s in the mood but in a nonchalant way like he’s kind of doing it without thinking

Shinichiro is the king of asking if your okay or if anything hurts, 100% affirmation king too

Draken always does that cheek squeeze/pat thing when he cums in ur mouth with a “you did well”

Hakkai gets unusually dominant when you’re being a little shit n pissin him off

▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️

M ngl this is some of the randomness that my brain comes up with 😂

Taglist: @loonashadow @haitink @soushswag @bontensbabygirl @roppongiperfume @wakasagurl @sunahyejin @reiners-milkbiddies @pervitoshi

[radioduo]

roses and riots: chapter 1

i could count the stars (wait until the dawn

notes: apoc au ^-^ this has been in the works for a while, so hope u guys enjoy! thanks to @b1rdza for the title and the letting me plan things w them :}

tws: blood, injury, violence, talks of death and zombies

Ranboo stared at his phone, slightly cracked and looking worse for wear, reminiscing over the photo on his lock screen. A picture from two months ago of him, Tubbo, and Tommy beaming at the camera. Ranboo returned the smile. Probably a picture Wilbur took on their moving day.

Two months ago, Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo began living together. Two months ago was the last time everything was normal.

Ranboo leaned against the wall of the now crumbling apartment and laid his head back against the foggy windows with a sigh. He could hear Tubbo in the other room quietly singing a cheerful tune and fiddling with some new gadget on his own. Tommy still wasn’t home from the scouting trip he had left for hours ago, and as the minutes ticked by, more and more anxiety gnawed at Ranboo's stomach.

Speak of the devil, Ranboo thought to himself as the communicator next to him began to buzz. It was Tommy, unsurprisingly. Ranboo gingerly set the phone down and picked up the other device. “Hello?”

“RANBOO, GET - krzzkr - HERE, THERE’S - skrzzkz - FUCKING HORDE HEADING OUR - krzzssz - HELP-”

Ranboo flinched and held the speaker away from his ear as he sprang to his feet. “Oh god, alright. Hold on, Tommy, I’m getting Tubbo and we’re going. Where are you?” He pulled on his boots and grabbed the musty red rucksack that hung next to the door.

“WEST- kzzszrt - NEAR THE DINER-”

“Just stay calm, Tommy, find a hiding place, you know the drill,” he knocked on Tubbo’s door urgently, but there was no response. "Are you k- whatever," Ranboo threw open the door, muttering to himself. Tubbo yelped in surprise as the door swung open, flinging his arm out and knocking his project onto the carpet. “We’ve gotta go,”

Tubbo took a deep breath and raised an eyebrow. “What’s up, bossman?”

Ranboo began to explain, but Tommy seemed eager to take matters into his own hands.

“TUBBO, THEY’RE FUCKIN’ AFTER - skrzztz - YOUR HELP RIGHT NOW, GET YOUR ASSES DOWN HERE - kryzztz - TO GOD I WON’T FORGIVE YOU IF I DIE,” he yelled through the radio. Tommy was breathing heavily, and Ranboo and Tubbo could hear quick, heavy footsteps pounding against the pavement.

“Oh fuck, okay, we’re coming, Tommy!” Tubbo grabbed his yellow bag from the foot of his mattress, abandoning his gadget and nearly knocking over his trash can full of failed prototypes. “Where is he?” he asked Ranboo, straining as he tugged his shoes over his heels.

“West Elm, near the diner,” Ranboo said as he pulled his mask over his face, leading Tubbo into the kitchen and grabbing his crowbar from the counter. “We’re on our way, just stay hidden and stay put.” Ranboo ended the transmission before Tommy could keep shouting at him and pulled open the door. “Let’s go, Tubbo,”

Tubbo hoisted his bat over his shoulder and tugged his goggles over his eyes. Wordlessly, the duo slunk out from the crumbling apartment building and down the street.

Nothing new, Ranboo noticed as the two speed-walked around the dilapidated city. Broken glass lined the pavement in front of shopping outlets, rotting wooden planks covered doors and windows, and the smell of flesh and blood filled the air around them, pungent and nauseating. The acrid scent slithered through the mask over Ranboo's nose and snaked into his nostrils, and he fought back the urge to heave as he swallowed the bile rising in his throat.

Rapidly rounding a corner, Ranboo tore his eyes away from the city scenery, stifling a gasp of surprise as he and Tubbo found themselves face to face with a gathering of the undead.

With bulging eyes and mouths lined with yellowed, broken teeth, the pack shuffled down the debris-covered road in the opposite direction, still oblivious to Ranboo and Tubbo's appearance. They seemed too busy tracking something out of sight to pay attention to the smell of fresh, unspilled blood nearby. Unfortunately, Ranboo realized with a sinking feeling in his stomach, the thing they must have been searching for was Tommy, and to find him, he and Tubbo would have to make it through the horde of the starving dead.

Tubbo stared ahead at the mob, a sour expression painting his face. "Don't tell me-"

"We have to, Tubbo. Unless you want to leave Tommy to die over there."

"I'm gonna be honest bossman, that sounds pretty fuckin' appealing right now," Tubbo replied dryly.

"I really hope you're joking," Ranboo answered. "C'mon," he urged, gripping the crowbar in his gloved hands, and charged forward like a bull.

The zombies, luckily for Ranboo, moved slowly, giving him time to react between attacks. He swiped nimbly with his left hand, slamming the metal bar into the face of a corpse, taking its head off with a satisfying crunch. Ranboo heard a grunt next to his ear and rolled out of the way right as an undead creature swung at him, nearly grabbing his arm and pulling him back. He brought the crowbar down into the skull of his attacker and looked away as the creature made a strangled sound in the back of its throat. Bobbing and weaving through the sea of the undead, Ranboo slammed the crowbar into every shambling body he could reach, over and over again. He yelped as he suddenly felt something grab his arm, sending a wave of pain up his arm from the iron-like grip. He wrenched his hand away frantically and stabbed the crowbar into the zombie's eyes. Breathing heavily, he scrambled away from the horde and into the clear at last. Ranboo gripped his sore arm and anxiously looked over the sea of corpses. Tubbo hadn't come out of the mob yet, and Ranboo's stomach twisted with fear at the thought of something happening to him.

A loud smack came from somewhere inside the cluster of bodies, and at last, Tubbo appeared, waving his bloodstained baseball bat like a madman and shouting a string of curses at the undead hands grabbing at his clothes. He ran to Ranboo's side, gasping for air. "Don't ever fucking make me do that again, okay?"

Ranboo grinned, relieved that he seemed unharmed. "Alright, alright, whatever," he said, flicking a drop of blood from his face. "We have to keep moving or they'll catch up with us."

----------

Tubbo and Ranboo slid open the diner door silently, stepping over the upturned chairs and tables as they walked into the abandoned building. "Tommy?" Tubbo whispered. "Are you in here?"

"Tubbo?" A voice answered. A head of curly blond hair popped up from behind the counter, and an unmistakable look of relief swept over Tommy's face when he caught sight of the two. "Thank fuck," he muttered, breathing a sigh of relief and dragging himself to his feet, hauling his backpack with him. "I wasn't sure how much longer I'd last." Crawling out from behind the counter, Tommy pulled his green bandana down from over his mouth again and faced the duo. "How'd you get through that giant fuckin' mob back there?"

Ranboo and Tubbo held up their crowbar and bat, respectively. "We managed," Tubbo said with a shrug. "That's beside the point though, why have you been gone so long? You were supposed to be back, like, two hours ago!" The three inched towards the door as Tubbo talked, slipping back into the streets and booking it in the opposite direction they came from.

Tommy huffed, trying to keep up with his friends. "Other than those dickheads back there keeping me away, I stopped by Phil's place for a bit to get us some food," he explained through deep breaths. "We haven't been able to get out much, thought it'd help." He held up his lumpy bag, obviously full of cans and boxes.

"Tommy, you know carrying food long distances is dangerous," Ranboo huffed, pulling ahead of the group as they rounded a corner. "Those things can smell just about everything, what made you think that was even slightly a good idea?"

Tommy made an indignant scoffing noise in the back of his throat. "Well, ex-CUSE me, Boob Boy, for wanting to help out you and Tubbo. That's my bad," he said, placing unnecessary emphasis on the last two words.

Ranboo rolled his eyes with faux annoyance as the three of them kept walking. "How many times have I told you to stop calling me that?"

"Not enough clearly," Tubbo answered, amusement obvious in his tone.

"Oh my god-" A hand flew over his mouth as Tommy suddenly took a sharp turn and flattened him against the bricks of a rundown building. Ranboo bit back a pained grunt as his aching arm hit the bricks. "I can hear those fuckers nearby," he removed his palm from Ranboo's masked mouth, and the three of them pressed their backs against the crumbling wall. "Is there another way we can take?"

He pressed his lips into a thin line, eyes darting back and forth as he strained his ears to listen for the familiar groans of the undead. "There are only a few that won't take us, like, two hours," he whispered. "Most roads loop around the city, and-"

"-and there's no way in hell that we'd make it back alive if we travel in the dark," Tubbo finished bleakly. He stared at the ground, lost in thought as though he were hoping the answer would write itself on the sidewalk. "So what now? Just stay here and wait until the morning? Surely not," he looked up at the other two. "I mean, that's a death wish right there,"

Ranboo and Tommy nodded silently. "I guess there's always Phil's place, but that's a couple dozen blocks down the road," Ranboo suggested, glancing up at the sky. It was only marginally darker than when they'd left, but Ranboo knew the light wouldn't last for much longer - especially not with the luck they'd been having. He absently rubbed his sore arm, careful to keep something from hitting it again. "We'd have to leave now to be there before dark,"

"Don't tell me we have to fuckin' walk even more," Tommy griped loudly. "I just got back from his place, are you sure there isn't a faster way home?"

"We can leave you here with the horde, if that's what you prefer," Tubbo retorted. Slinging his yellow bag over one arm and hoisting his worn baseball bat over the other, he dashed down the street, calling to Tommy over his shoulder, "Hurry up, dickhead!"

"Tubbo, wait-!" Tommy shouted back as he and Ranboo followed suit, jogging down the sidewalk behind Tubbo to the safety of their friend's home.

It was nearly dark by the time the three came to the pale blue house. It sat on the city outskirts, barely safer than the houses on the inside but at least ten times cozier. Tommy rapped on the door raucously, and Ranboo and Tubbo cringed as the sound echoed, definitely alerting the nearby zombies to their presence.

They didn't have time to worry about that, thankfully, as Phil greeted them at the door, looking relieved. "You guys scared the shit out of me," he breathed as he ushered the three teens inside. "You can't just be out wandering and knocking on strangers' doors,"

"Phil, if you were a stranger, this would be very awkward right now," Ranboo said, kicking his boots off and shoving them in the corner.

"I'm- oh my god, you know what I mean," he replied exasperatedly. "Be careful out there, is all. I don't know what I'd do if you guys got hurt."

Silence fell over the group as they heard the subtext of Phil's words. 'If you guys got hurt again.' Ranboo peered over at Tubbo, whose hand had subconsciously drifted up to trace the burn scars that outlined his face. Ranboo's own hand had floated up to touch his bruised arm carefully. He wouldn't tell Phil about it. Not yet.

Coughing, Ranboo broke the silence as he drew his hand away from his injury and undid the clasp on his cloak. "Welp, uh, I'm gonna sit down if anyone else wants to come," he invited, plopping the heavy fabric in a pile with the rest of his things and wandering into the living room.

The fireplace was burning, and Wilbur laid next to the orange flames, half-lidded eyes staring sleepily at the ceiling. He blinked and sat up as Ranboo entered the room, still alone as Tubbo and Tommy followed Phil into the kitchen, discussing something Ranboo couldn't quite hear. "Hey, Rhombus," Wilbur smiled, holding back a yawn. "How goes it?" His eyes darted briefly to the yellow sweater Ranboo wore.

Ranboo shrugged, removing his mask and catching the brief smile that flickered across Wilbur's face. "Could be better, I suppose," he replied.

"I think you said that last time," Wilbur noted.

"Yeah, well, it's been hard to be great recently," Ranboo said, barely audible.

Wilbur nodded sagely nonetheless, shuffling away from the fire to sit on the carpet in front of the couch. "You're not wrong," he agreed. There was a moment of silence as Wilbur looked up at Ranboo, who sat stiffly on the sofa, clutching his arm lightly and staring blankly into the fire. "You all good?"

"Y-yeah, I'm fine," Ranboo answered, blinking himself out of his stupor and brushing a strand of hair from his eyes. "Just- pain is all. Nothing a little sleep can't fix," he insisted. Ranboo could see the doubt in Wilbur's eyes, and it made his stomach churn. He wasn't sure why. "I'm alright, seriously," he repeated. "I'd let you know if I wasn't, you know that."

"Right." Disbelief laced Wilbur's words, but he didn't pry, nor did Ranboo want to offer an explanation.

Wilbur opened his mouth to say something else, but he didn't get the chance as Tubbo peeped his head into the room. "Dinner's ready big man, if you're interested," he said, jabbing a thumb behind him towards the kitchen, the comforting smell of potato soup wafting through the house. "You too, Wilbur, I guess," he snickered.

Ignoring the lighthearted banter between the other two, Ranboo inhaled deeply, savoring the scent. It smelt like home, he thought, a small smile painting his face. Wordlessly, Ranboo padded through the doorway into the kitchen, where Techno, Tommy, and Phil sat around the table waiting.

"There you are," Techno greeted him, reaching for the soup spoon. "We were starvin' to death in here, c'mon man," he joked.

Ranboo huffed a laugh through his nose. "Sorry about that," he apologized, running a hand through his hair. "Been a long day." He caught Tubbo's eye, who agreed with a slight head nod.

"It's alright, mate," Phil assured him. He held the bowls as Techno ladled soup into them carefully. "We get it." Phil handed him a bowl, steaming and cozy, and Ranboo gratefully accepted. "Just hang out for a while, alright?"

The six of them sat around the small kitchen table, eating together and listening to the radio as songs old and new alike filled the air. Tubbo and Wilbur sang duets, and Techno and Tommy made increasingly strange parodies as Phil and Ranboo watched with amusement.

Tommy and Techno were mid-song about Phil when the music suddenly stopped, harsh static cutting through the joyful atmosphere like a knife.

"WE INTERRUPT YOUR PROGRAM FOR AN EMERGENCY ANNOUNCEMENT," the prerecorded sample recited. "ATTENTION, ALL CITIZENS OF NEW LENSLING COUNTY: A MANDATORY EVACUATION IS BEGINNING TOMORROW AT 11 AM. ALL PERSONS LIVING IN THE CITY MUST RELOCATE BEFORE THE END OF THE WEEK."

The once bright mood at the dinner table quickly sank, dread and icy cold fear replacing the warm feeling of family and safety.

"What the fuck?" Tommy murmured, turning the radio volume up to the max.

"COUNTY OFFICIALS WILL BE INSPECTING HOMES TO ENSURE THAT EVERYONE HAS EVACUATED. SAFE CITIES ARE AS FOLLOWS: ATTSTONE, WORWICKE, LANGSTEDSHIRE, SHANTOWSEA, AND SOUTH BIRBED. FURTHER QUESTIONS WILL BE ANSWERED AT-"

Wilbur turned off the radio with a harsh slam. "Great," he growled. "What the fuck do we do now? Surely they don't expect us to just be happy with this!"

"All our shit is still at home!" Tubbo added, agitated. "There's no way we have time to grab it tonight, and it'll take ages to get back to the apartment in the morning!" He grumbled. "This is bullshit!"

"Calm down, you two," Phil cut in, trying to curb the anger bubbling in the air. "We'll figure something out, okay?"

Tubbo and Wilbur had the same disgruntled look in their eyes, jaws set and eyes shadowed. "Fine," Tubbo muttered, standing up to look at Phil. "Tell us then, what's the plan? Do you even know what's going to happen to us?"

"Tubbo," Ranboo warned. "Calm down. We're all figuring it out as a group."

Tubbo folded his arms and sat heavily in his chair, still irritated.

Techno was already rifling through his things for a map of the county. "The safe zones were all cities nearby," he said, seemingly to himself. He rolled a thin map out over the table, careful to avoid the drops of soup. "Attstone, Worwicke, et cetera. The closest one to us would be-"

"South Birbed, innit?" Tommy finished, shoving his now-empty soup bowl out of the way to lean over the table. "It's 'bout a week-long trip on foot," he explained. "We could be there in no time if all of us leave first thing in the morning,"

"Hold on, Tommy," Techno stopped him as Tommy took a breath to say something else. "One of us needs to stay behind and let someone know where we're goin', right Phil?"

"They need to send a message to all the safe zones to tell 'em how many people to prepare for," Phil confirmed. "I'll stay behind, tell whoever may stop by that the six of us are heading south, yeah?"

Ranboo and the other four shared a look of hesitance, none of them quite sure how to respond. "I don't want to leave you behind, Phil," Ranboo admitted. "Are you 100 percent sure you'll be alright on your own?"

Phil waved a hand dismissively. "You don't have to worry about me, mate. I'll catch up with you all in no time."

Phil's promise sent a wave of relief around the room. Wilbur and Tubbo looked more at ease, and Ranboo, Techno, and Tommy all breathed a sigh. "We should probably pack up our shit, I guess." Tommy rose to his feet, stretching and yawning. "Early start tomorrow, aye?"

They all stood, some more hesitant than others, and dispersed to their respective sleeping quarters. Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo trekked upstairs single file, carrying their bags, weapons, and everything in between into the large bedroom silently. It wasn't like they hadn't done this same thing before, but something about knowing it might be the last time for a while made the mood feel more somber than usual.

Tommy flopped onto the large, pillowy mattress with a sigh. "I can't believe we're being fuckin' kicked out," he muttered crossly, a change in mood from the upbeat leader persona he'd put on downstairs (probably to prove himself to the adults). "And to South Birbed of all places!"

Ranboo snorted, his eyes crinkling up with laughter. "What did South Birbed ever do to you?" He asked, watching as Tubbo crawled onto the bed next to Tommy.

"I dunno, it just seems like a shit city," Tommy shrugged.

Tubbo smacked him with a pillow, and Tommy yelped in protest, shouting a string of curse words at his assailer. "Mercy, mercy!" Tommy begged as he and Tubbo began a pillow fight.

Ranboo looked on with mild intrigue but didn't join the party. Instead, he slipped away from the other two into the bathroom and shut the door.

He pried his gloves off his hands and rinsed his face, desperate to clean the dirt and grime from his forehead and fingers. Ranboo stared at himself in the mirror, watching beads of water run down his face. He looked like a mess, he thought briefly, before drying the water with a towel. He winced, feeling a shock of pain flow up his arm as he blotted the water with the scratchy cloth. Deftly, he rolled up his sweater sleeve to examine his arm.

A little bit of broken skin, Ranboo noticed. He caught sight of a few small indents, which he assumed were from fingernails digging into his arm when the zombie had grabbed him. He made a mental note to keep checking the wound before it got infected and rolled his sleeve down again.

With a newly clear head, he reentered the bedroom quietly. Tommy and Tubbo had already claimed the bed, he noted, as the two laid on either half of the mattress, Tommy's head and Tubbo's feet on one end and the other way around at the foot of the bed. Ranboo sighed as he realized he'd have to sleep on the floor. Swiftly, he snagged a pillow from the bed, careful not to wake the already-snoring Tubbo, and dragged a throw blanket from a basket to sleep beneath. Begrudgingly, he laid on his makeshift bed, staring at the ceiling.

He had never noticed it before, but shining overhead was a galaxy of artificial stars, blinking and twinkling. The question of "why" briefly crossed Ranboo's mind as he stared at the bright little shapes above him. It made sense, he supposed, since the room belonged to Wilbur years before he, Tommy, or Tubbo ever stayed there. Still, he thought, it was surprising that Phil had kept them up there after all this time. Maybe he wanted to keep a little piece of the good times with him.

Ranboo felt a pit form in his stomach as he thought about the future (or possible lack thereof). The uncertainty made his stomach churn as he yawned, eyelids drooping. Thoughts of traveling and an image of the artificial galaxy were fresh in his mind as he rolled over that night, shutting his eyes and letting the darkness of sleep wash over him at last.

[muselixer]

dumb things my friends and I have said!

newer and better edition, ft. 2021! apologies ahead of time for length! feel free to change pronouns if need be. warnings for foul and dirty language, and capslock-implied yelling :)

“I don’t know about bomb stuff.”

“We’re not going to Pavlov my girlfriend.”

“We become heathens when we enter the doors of the shopping mall.”

“No, it’s give a girl head, it’s not a slur.”

“I’m white and privileged. Give me a kiss.”

“‘You gotta have a little bit of faith.’ I don’t believe in God!”

“Four dollar fries. I am no longer asking.”

“Would you like me to call you a bitch or a bastard?”

“It’s not like your nipples are gonna stiffen up when you die.”

“Like, people hear my dumbass voice saying some stupid shit, and they’re like, “Oh, time to punch (Name).””

“DO YOU FUCKING SEE IT, RAT BASTARD? OH MY GOD.”

“I went to counseling to be a fun drunk.”

“YOU’RE GONNA DIE OF HUNGRY.”

“Damn, you are sluttin’ it on stage!”

“Girl you are fisting his god damn throat.”

“No, I don’t go out by myself. I’d get hatecrimed.”

“...I forgot bugs existed.”

“I’m sorry I can’t be your Burger King.”

“Here’s another curse! May all your bacon burn.”

“You should make these so you could stab someone festively.”

“I’m gay, I don’t have to learn how to fix a car.”

“You don’t fuck the bread. You put the bread in the cart and chop down rain forests.”

“You are worth more than chicken nuggets to me.”

“I won’t kick you out this time. I will make fun of you, though.”

“I’ll make a blood sacrifice here in a minute.”

“I’m glad she used your actions against you.”

“If you vibe with identifying as a horse, I wouldn’t care.”

“What if we got hatecrimed together and then became stars?”

“You WILL have a happy birthday. This is a threat.”

“I’m not your lotion slave.”

“I can’t believe we’re getting killed by rats.”

“Best method acting technique? Just be gay.”

“Should I wear thigh highs? What a stupid fuckin’ question, the answer’s always yes.”

“Please do not fuck the flying horse.”

“It tastes like a sexy battery.”

“Get you a man who can do both. Get me. I can do both.”

“Just slap some ganja on there bucko, you won’t feel a thing in no time.”

“Sweetie, that is quite possibly the gayest stance you could have posed with.”

“I hate to break it to you, but lawyers swear a LOT.”

“I didn’t know brainrot was contagious.”

“Is it gay to kill another man with your bare hands?”

“What an asshole. Rear end him right now.”

“You need to scrape your knees too, bitch.”

“Nobody needs an alcohol enema.”

“You’re dressed nicely for a manwhore!”

“I diagnose you with narcissist.”

“All words are made of letters, dickhead.”

“Food wakes me up even if I’m not eating it.”

“I’m convinced people in (location) don’t know how to do math.”

“I hate to break it to you, but porpoises and dolphins are different creatures.”

“If I wanted to date someone made of bones, I would’ve bought a skeleton from the Halloween store.”

“I love the tiddies out, nipples in look.”

“I am one with the gutter gators.”

“It’s so Monday today.”

“Cocktails just make you gay.”

“Welcome to the office of wasting your time! I’ll be your girlboss this evening!”

“I’m glad that you think of me as your pet fucking rat.”

“It’s avant-garde. I wouldn’t expect you to understand that though.”

“The way I function... I’m constantly telling myself that everything I do is cringeworthy.”

“Your blood will be root beer in 10.”

“How strong are your arms to push this many words into my mouth.”

“I hate women, I do drugs, here’s how I scammed DoorDash.”

“You knew me best during college, was I a ho during college?”

“Your head looks like a science lab beaker.”

“If I get drunk, I get worse.”

“I put on the cat paws, you gotta do the ritual!”

“You’re so dramatic. Just choose to not die.”

“(Name) looks like a BITCH.”

“Do you know what red is? It’s a color, you silly little man.”

“I want my cherry, (NAME).”

[rayslittlekitten]

No Brownie Points

“Crush” Masterlist

A/N: This is some random story I started today because I did indeed wake up a bit teeny baked from the edible I had last night to help with my period cramps and this is where this silly little story led me. This is from the Crush universe and would take place way before Crush. I really enjoy writing Benny as a BFF and him just being... Benny.

Rating: T

Word Count: 1,840

Pairing: Will “Ironhead” Miller x GN!Reader (It’s supposed to be F!reader but this part can be read as GN!Reader. There’s no distingushable language or pronouns)

Plot: Your best friend Benny finds out you and Will hooked up.

Contains: Mostly just Benny being Benny, cursing, mentions of marijuana use, brief mentions of high sex

"What's wrong with you? Are you hung over?" your best friend asks, glancing over at you.

You don't respond.

"Hey, Y/N!" Benny pulls your sunglasses off and you squint even though your eyes are already closed.

"What the fuck, man?" You lazily reach over and grab back your sunglasses and put it back over your somewhat bloodshot eyes. "Asshole."

He continues to drive.

"I took the edible last night and I'm still a little toasted," you admit.

He starts laughing.

"It's not funny."

"Yes, it fucking is. You ate the whole damn thing, didn't you? I told you to eat a quarter of a piece and wait."

"Just shut up and drive."

Most Sundays, you meet up with the Miller brothers for breakfast at the local diner and then help Benny train. Last night you had a lapse in judgement on the potency of the weed-laced brownies Benny had hooked you up with.

You reach for the dial to change the radio station because the country music is killing your vibe, but Benny slaps your hand. You quickly recoil your hand.

"Don't fuckin' change my music."

You turn your semi-heavy head towards him as it's being held up by the headrest behind you.

"I hope you lose your next fight," you tell him.

"Fuck you. Weed is supposed to make you feel calm. Not turn you into a dickhead.”

"I just have no energy right now, okay? I'm like... my head is still on cloud nine a bit. Just let me ride the rest of this high in peace, okay? Hopefully after I put some food in my belly, I'll sober up some."

"Will is going to be so pissed!"

"Come on, don't tell him, man. I usually just sit there and watch him train with you anyways. I'll go take a nap on the mats somewhere."

"But it's fun to watch Will lecture you on how dangerous it is to--" Benny starts imitating Will.

"--drink and do drugs irresponsibly," you join him in finishing his sentence. A sentence you both have heard too many times.

You both laugh until it dies off to a comfortable silence. 

Benny looks over and notices your head is turned looking in his direction, but he's not sure if you're looking at him or just dazed since your dark sunglasses are covering your eyes. Suddenly, Benny's phone rings. He glances at his phone and puts it on speaker phone.

"Yo, what's up?" Benny answers.

"Hey, Benny. I'm running a little late. Uh, I'll probably be like 20 minutes late. Sorry, I overslept." Will's slightly groggy voice can be heard on the other line.

"Yeah, sure, no problem. I'm with Y/N right now and we should probably get to the diner in like five minutes," Benny says.

In the background, there's a sound of a dog barking. 

"Uh, okay, see you both soon." Will quickly hangs up.

"What the hell was that?" Benny asks rhetorically.

"What do you mean?"

"That phone call didn't seem strange to you at all?" Benny asks.

"No, not really."

"You're fucking stoned," Benny chuckles.

"Okay first of all, I'm not stoned. I'm just... chill," you correct him.

"Will never oversleeps and he's always punctual," Benny says.

"Shit happens." You shrug.

"And there was a dog barking. Will doesn't have a dog," Benny says as-a-matter-of-factly. "In fact, I invited him out last night to be my wing man because you bailed on me but he said he had plans."

You turn your head and look over at him again, thinking, contemplating. 

"And you bailed on me for fucking brownies? Really?" Benny asks as he pulls the car into the parking space.

"I'm actually glad I'm still kinda high because I really don't care about your annoyance with me right now." You unbuckle your seatbelt and get out of the car. He looks over at you and shakes his head.

You and Benny get inside the diner and head over to your usual booth. The two of you start ordering while waiting for Will. 

"Pancakes and whipped cream?" Benny glares at you.

"Fuck off. I'm starving and having a bit of the munchies. I'm not the one that's training to fight so I can carbo load anytime I want to."

If someone who didn't know the two of you overheard your conversations, they'd think you guys were being rude to each other. It's honestly just you and your best friend's love language.

"So you think Will was with someone?" Benny asks.

You nearly spit out your weak diner coffee. "I don't know, probably. He's a man with needs."

"Yeah but he's being weird about it. Like he's hiding something."

"You're overthinking it. Just let the man be," you tell him as your waitress re-fills your coffee mug. "Thank you." You nod at the waitress.

“You really must be very chill because sober you would love to grill him.” Benny narrows his eyes at you and sips on his black coffee.

Will finally joins in and scoots in next to Benny. 

“Sorry guys. Hope you didn’t wait too long.”

“We started without you so don’t worry,” you tell him.

The waitress swings by again and gives Will a menu.

"Coffee?" she asks him.

"Yes, please. Lots of it."

She places a clean mug on the table and pours him a cup.

"Thank you, ma'am." He nods.

"I'll give you a few minutes." The waitress walks off.

"Will, are you alright?" Benny asks, looking over at his brother.

"Yeah, of course. What do you mean?" Will immediately downs half his mug of coffee.

"What happened last night? You never oversleep. And you're never late. For anything."

"N-nothing. I forgot to set my alarm." Will glances over at you for a moment and then back at Benny.

Benny then leans his face closer to Will's and inspects him.

"Bro... are you high right now?" Benny asks with wide eyes.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Listen, between the two of us, I know better than you when somebody is stoned. I've seen it enough times when Y/N-" Benny points and glances over at you, and then stops mid-sentence. He then bounces his eyes between you and Will.

"Oh, look, food's finally here," you suddenly say as the waitress comes over with yours and Benny's orders.

"You ready to order, sweetheart?" the waitress asks Will.

"Pancakes, please. Also two eggs, scrambled and bacon," Will rattles off the order. "I'm fucking starving."

"You got it."

You moan as you chew on the sweet fluffy cake.

"Wait, were you two together last night?" Benny asks.

You stop mid-chew and make eye contact with Will and then to Benny and back to each other. Everyone is eyeing everyone.

"Um... " you start, then swallow the mouthful of food.

"That dog barking. That was Dr. Furlock Holmes, wasn't it? Your fucking dog," Benny says.

"Okay, yeah we were together. So what? We were just hanging out. What's so wrong with that?" Will asks.

"Getting high together? Dude, you haven't touched that shit since we were teens."

"I mean... yes, but no. I-I dabble in it here and there."

"I'm sorry, bro. I've seen you in combat and you were one of greatest soldiers this country had the privilege of having, but you are also the shittiest liar I know."

"Look, Will came to me and just needed some company." You shrug. "He wanted to chill."

"Is that why you asked me for those brownies? For him?" Benny asks, pointing to Will.

"Yes, but no. Ow!" You look over to Will who just kicked you under the table.

"You guys playing footsies too? What the fuck is going on?" Benny asks the both of you.

There is a long moment of awkward silence. The waitress comes back around with a carafe.

"Y'all want a coffee re-fill?"

"Yes, please."

"Yeah."

Both you and Will answer at the same time. After the waitress refills your mugs, she walks off again.

"Well?" Benny takes a forkful of food and shoves it into his mouth.

"Okay, please don't get mad," you finally say.

"Y/N-" Will jumps in but you stop him.

"He deserves to know," you tell him.

"To know what?"

"Yes, last night, Will and I did share the brownies... and then some. I had some weed on me as well."

"Okay, and? That's it?" Benny asks.

"Hey, are you going to eat that?" Will starts reaching for Benny's toast, but Benny slaps his hand away.

"Yeah, that's it." You shove a forkful of pancakes into your mouth.

"Why the hell would I be mad?" Benny asks, glancing over at you and then over to Will who is unzipping his hoodie and shrugging it off. "Oh shit!" Benny chokes on his food.

Will tries to help Benny, but puts a hand up to stop him. Benny takes a huge gulp of water and has the coughing and choking under control.

"You okay?" Will asks.

"You two fucked, didn't you?" Benny asks.

This time you almost choke on your food.

"Where'd you get that crazy idea from?" Will asks.

"You have two giant ass hickeys on your neck, man. Either that or someone bruised the shit out of your neck." Benny points out. "This all makes so much fucking sense now why you two have been acting weird all morning."

The waitress comes back around to bring Will his order.

"Thank you," Will smiles at her and starts eating.

You pick on your food and continue eating while staying quiet and avoiding eye contact with Benny.

"Listen, you're both adults. I don't care if you two are hooking up, but why be so weird about it?" Benny asks. "How long has this been going on for?" Benny spears a piece of breakfast sausage and takes a bite.

"It was only a one time thing," you tell him.

"I am never having edibles again," Will adds.

"Wait, was the hook up a one time thing or the edibles a one time thing?"

"Both," you and Will answer at the same time.

"We were just having some fun, okay? We thought there was something there and it turns out we're better off as friends," Will says.

"I mean, sex wasn’t bad, but it was kinda awkward--"

"LA LA LA LA," Benny immediately drops his fork on to the plate and sings while covering his ears.

"Okay, okay fine. We'll stop talking about it!" You say loud enough for Benny to hear.

For the rest of the meal, the three of you remain pretty quiet.

"Are you even good to train?" Benny asks Will, breaking the silence.

"If I'm going to be honest, I should probably sit this out today. Sorry, Benny."

Benny glances over at you.

"Don't look at me. I can probably hold some pads for you, but my coordination is not all there."

"You guys suck." Benny whines and tosses his used napkin on top of his plate.

"I guess you're not going to eat that," Will reaches over for Benny's untouched toast.

Related Fics: - Crush  - Truth Is - Empty Space 

[the1975attheirverybest]

bb i need advice. so basically remember that guy that i always fight with. well our friend invited us to go to the beach with her and i’m scared. i’m a plus size girlie and he’s openly called me fat before when i was in like normal clothes. now wearing a swimsuit, i’m scared shitless. -🦚

Hi babes ♥️

First off, FUCK THAT MAN. FUCK HIM. FUCKIN FUCK HIM.

Second, sending you a hug.

Now, onto the important bit, while different people have different relationships with their bodies, I’m assuming he used the word “fat” as a negative/ derogatory term to imply that there’s somehow something wrong with the size or shape of your body. Which is why he should get fucked. But, interestingly, that’s exactly my point. Just as the word “fat” inherently doesn’t have to mean anything bad and has been reclaimed by a lot of people to just purely be a description, like “brown hair,” THERE IS NOTHING INHERENTLY WRONG WITH YOUR BODY and it’s only society (and in this case dickhead men who deserve to be kicked in the balls) that assigns these negative values.

So, I guess the question is, are you scared to wear the swimsuit because HES gonna be there or because you don’t wanna wear it in front of anyone at all? If it’s just cuz he’s gonna be there (meaning you’d be totally fine if everyone else was there but he wasn’t) then that’s a different question, I think. Not that there’s anything wrong with it. I have black hair, and if someone had looked at me and straight up said “black hair is gross” I’d find myself feeling very conscious of my hair around this person, even if I’m fine with it most other times. But I guess I’m saying to ask yourself that because that determines how you should act.

Like, if it’s just cuz of him, then BANISH THAT THOUGHT FROM YOUR HEAD. I know it’s easier said than done. I grew up with a mother who constantly criticized my body (and still does to this day) and I turn into someone else entirely around her. I pick at all my flaws and feel like shit and think I’m the ugliest bitch to ever exist when my mother is around me. But as hard as it is to accept, the truth of the matter is that he’s the one with a fucked up mindset. Your body is perfectly fine, gorgeous, even. It’s his sexism that makes him think otherwise. And, regardless of someone’s reasoning, anyway, you can’t let another person take away your joy, confidence, and fun because they don’t agree with or approve of who you are or what you do. The only person who should have any influence on how you live your is YOU. If you’re comfortable in your own skin, then he can go the fuck to hell. And if he doesn’t like it, he can just not come. He doesn’t get to make you feel bad about yourself or your looks because HES the fucked up insecure one. That’s his toxic thinking, not yours to carry with you.

If he says anything? Tell him to take a look in the mirror and ask himself what makes him think it’s okay to talk to people like that before he comments on anyone else’s body. Or….just kick some sand into his eye. That way he’ll go blind and stop being able to see ANY bodies.

No, but, fr. You’re beautiful. You’re cool as fuck. You’re perfect the way you are and you should be able to wear whatever the fuck you please without his crusty ass deciding things for you. HAVE THE BEST TIME AT THE BEACH 🥰

[stuckybarton]

Red Velvet Cake

Summary:   Behind the sweet smile and angelic personality was a spitfire when someone dared destroy her little bakery in the heart of New York. Steve finds that out the hard way when his girlfriend's bakery becomes collateral damage in a small fight in New York. Warning: Profanities. Mild Violence. (Two Loud Slaps to be specific). Grammar Errors. Not Beta’d. Characters: Unnamed Female Character x Steve Rogers Words: 1,775 A/N: I don’t know, I just thought of this idea and thought why not. Masterlist

You had never thought your life would become this wild, but you've gone with the flow. Who would have ever thought that finally starting this bakery in the heart of New York. It was tough, with just a handful of employees, would bring you into so much chaos in your once peaceful life.

Meeting the Avengers had been a wild ride with a smooth beginning for you. First meeting Sam, a man that was looking for a quick snack post-work out. A man with a soft smile and quick quips that brought a smile on everyone's faces every single time he would come to visit. Then eventually, he came not alone, but with two of his best friend and your life changed ever since.

Bucky Barnes was the mellow of the trio, preferring to stay in the background while Sam would try his hardest to flirt with you and push his other friend with you. But he always had this charm on him that had a few of your female employees swooning just by the simply nickname of Doll he would throw at them.

But Sam's other friend had all his attention on you just as much as you had your entire attention on him. The dame that always spoiled him with sweets and made him enjoy morning runs more now that your bakery become their daily stop after.

It started out with the flirtation, at least that was what Steve believed it to be. Having been used to Sam's daily flirtation, you got so immune to it that it had become easier to hide the warmth in your cheeks or the heart eyes that Sam and Bucky were once quick to point out when Steve wasn't looking. Eventually it ended with him finally asking you out for lunch and the rest, as they say was history between the two of you.

Eventually, it had brought you into the circle of what was his team. The Avengers. Starting with one Tony Stark that had visited your bakery one fair morning and brought everything in your bakery long before the trio would come for their visit. It was an eventful day for you, that much you could admit. Everyone had the rest of the day to themselves and gave you time to spend with Steve, as annoyed as he was to not be able to have his usual treats. You made him your special apple pie as compensation, much to his enjoyment.

Then it was the rest of the team, Natasha Romanoff, Wanda Maximoff, and Vision. Visiting after getting a taste of your pastries that Tony Stark had generously provided for the team. Now like the trio, you now have another trio you can call as your regulars. Then there was Clint Barton, Thor, and Dr. Bruce Banner that eventually came to visit after everyone had egged them on and they would come for a few pastries and coffee, but not as much as the rest of the bunch. You were alright with that, being able to meet Steve's team and knowing each and every single one of them were good people in their own little way was enough for you.

Weeks turned into months, and months now turned to almost two years. Your life at the bakery was filled with ups and downs just as much as your relationship with one Steve Rogers. The constant fear you had when he was on a mission, uncertain whether he would come back alive or not.  Then there was the more often than not times that you were too consumed with the bustling number of customers than you only had time to give him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek before helping out on the cashier. It had once been a fight between the two of you because of your line of work, but you would constantly compromise. He was out saving the world while you were living the dream you had always wanted for yourself with baking. Instead of his apartment in Brooklyn, Steve was now living with you, in the humble little apartment you had above the bakery. Your little piece of heaven.

This life you had created with Steve was something you had never thought you'd have for yourself but you were enjoying it immensely. You would want nothing more in your life. Until things had gone horribly bad and you want nothing more than to kill Steven Grant Rogers and the rest of the Avengers.

~

Y/N was going to kill him. That much Steve had known while they continued on with the debriefing. A quarter of New York City was wiped clean by the attack of the alien overlord attempting their luck on the planet. As much as Tony had assured that they could stay in the tower while repairs were being made, He was still uncertain with what you would be feeling because of it.

Nothing hurts him more than seeing you sad or disappointed.

"What's the ETA on the repair?" he inquired as soon as the meeting was done.

"More or less two weeks. We've had our team assure Y/N that her employees would be paid full for the two weeks while we are doing repairs." Tony explained. "Last time I heard she barely spoke a word while she helped her employees with cleaning up."

Steve could only sigh, annoyance peaking through his mind. It was worst than he thought.

"Mister Stark, Ms. Y/L/N is on her way to the meeting room." F.R.I.D.A.Y announced.

Before the A.I could finish with the announcement, the sudden slam of the door had everyone's head turn, every single one ready for another fight. But the sight of the innocent Y/N looking displeased brought everyone to a slight calm. There was still a problem, but this was better than another alien attack.

"Babe-"

The resounding slap had everyone else wincing. So much for the Super Serum. Everyone could see the red imprint on Steve's face and your shaky hand responsible for the said mark on the Captain's face.

"Your fucking shield destroyed the ramekins." you snapped, Steve could practically see you shaking from where you stood in front of him.

You were nothing, compared to him, a Super Soldier. But just the sight of you, fuming to the nose made everyone believe that you can easily take him on. This was a genuine surprise for Steve. He had seen so much side of his girlfriend of nearly two years. Through many stages of emotional turmoil, happiness, sadness, annoyance, dysphoria, and that godforsaken puppy dog eyes that he could never say no to. But this, the sight of you  angry, genuinely furious was the last thing he would have ever thought to see from you.

"Everyone has a long day, Y/N." Tony approached and the glare than now focused on her made it very well known that his presence and his response was the biggest mistake he has ever made in the moment. "Why don--"

Tony wasn't able to finish his sentence as he gets to experience the same slap handed to him by you. Without the Super Soldier Serum, the sound of the slap resounded even louder than the former. Everyone was left in a mix of shock and the need to hold in their laughter at the shock look than now lingered on Tony's face as he rubbed his red cheek.

"As for you," you snapped pointing your finger right into Tony. "You're going to pay for both the fuckin bakery and my apartment upstairs. Of all the places Stark, you just had to throw the alien on my newly renovated bathroom."

Tony could only nod.

"Your people also need to talk to my employees, some of them are injured because a big fucking green dickhead thought it would be nice to throw alien matters into the basement like basketballs through the hoops." you snapped side-glancing towards the guilty Bruce Banner that refused to make any eye contact with you. "You're covered for their hospital bills, therapy, and two weeks of their supposed shift."

Tony gaped nodding.

"Jesus, why the fuck does it always have to be New York, better yet, why the hell does it have to be in the US? There are so many fucking countries in this world." You ranted turning your attention back to Steve that now broke into a small smile at your outburst. "You're not off the hook. We're staying here, but you're sleeping on the coach until further notice."

What smile he had now comes falling from his face. Blinking, this was a dangerous situation. Far more dangerous than his earlier encounter with the aliens only hours ago. But all he could do was nod, not knowing if any protest from him would result in a worst punishment.

"Sam," you turned to the man that now looked scared to be your focus. "Can you show me to the kitchen? I'll try making everyone someone to eat. God knows you're all starving." you request, all signs of anger now slowly dissolving from your features.

Steve didn't know what scared him more at this point, your anger or how quick you were able to recover from said anger. As Sam escorted you out of the meeting room, the rest of the team also made their way out to help you in whatever you may need in the kitchen. It now left Steve and Tony alone, practically still feeling the aftermath of your slap.

"Having second thought about proposing, Lover Boy?" Tony finally broke the awkward silence.

Taking a deep breath, the first chuckle all day finally escaped his lips.

No, he was far from having second thoughts. The engagement ring hidden in his locker room made it evident to him what he was about to do on their 2nd anniversary. It would take some convincing on your part after what happened. But you loved him enough to forgive him for what happened, since technically it wasn't really his fault why the bakery was ruined.

"The proposal is still a go, Tony." he responds finally leaving the meeting room to making his way to the kitchen, already hard at work with cooking what he assumed was spaghetti and meatballs and his favourite red velvet cake.

"Steve's not having any cake right?" Nat asked as soon as she caught sight of him.

"You know what, Romanoff--"

"Not even a fucking crumb." Your response even with you facing away from him had everyone roaring in laughter and Steve rolling his eyes even with the smile on his lips growing bigger at the situations.

The things he has to endure for love.

[hartigays]

rafe seeing barry’s scars for the first time🥺

warning: mature themes ahead kiddos! (descriptions of violence, mild threats of violence, sexual themes, ur usual rafebarry bullshit)

barry always keeps his shirt on during sex.

rafe really doesn’t get it - he can feel the hard lines of barry’s body through his clothes every time they touch. he knows that what’s underneath is something… something like a feast just waiting to be devoured.

he doesn’t understand why it’s being hid beneath an endless supply of fabric, because rafe is pretty sure whatever barry has going on under there is going to make rafe’s mouth water either way.

tonight, when barry rolls off of him with a grunt, rafe eyes the way barry’s sweat-soaked shirt clings to the toned muscles of his chest, to the soft yet sculpted lines of his stomach. rafe is pretty sure he can see the vague outline of barry’s happy trail, and his fingers itch to just hike the fabric up to barry’s neck so he can see and touch and taste.

rafe doesn’t like things being kept from him. it bothers him.

“you’re really good at that,” rafe starts, slowly. through the darkness of the room, he sees barry glance at him out of the corner of his eye. “you know what would make it better? if you’d take this goddamn thing off.”

rafe plucks at the fabric of barry’s shirt, wrinkling his nose, and barry swats his hand away immediately, almost as if on instinct.

“quit that shit, will you?”

“i just started,” rafe points out, moving his hand back to trace his fingers across the hem of barry’s shirt. “i don’t get why- ”

“don’t bother askin’, country club. you ain’t gonna get what you want,” barry cuts rafe off, then slides out of bed and leaves the room.

rafe can hear the bathroom door open and shut a moment later.

okay, so maybe his approach to getting barry’s shirt off was a little… well, rafe thought it was okay enough. but apparently barry disagrees.

the shirt seems to be staying on. for now.

when barry returns from the bathroom, his face is freshly washed and he has a different shirt on. it’s rattier, but still smells like barry. rafe catches the scent of it as barry crawls back into bed, resisting the urge to just reach out a take what he wants.

which is barry’s shirt, off. rafe would much rather drape the fabric over himself, smother himself in barry, and have the freedom to explore all the exposed skin that has been kept from him.

“you’re keeping things from me,” rafe says into the quiet of the room, his voice careful - steady and controlled. “i don’t like things being kept from me, barry. i don’t like lies.”

rafe can practically feel barry roll his eyes. “the fuck am i lyin’ to you about, baby boy? you ain’t seen my tits so now i’m a liar?”

“i haven’t seen your anything because you’re hiding it from me. and you won’t tell me why,” rafe replies, finally reaching out a hand and taking a fistful of barry’s shirt.

he doesn’t do anything with it besides hold it, but it’s obvious what he wants to do. “i just want to see. just once, at least.”

rafe is pretty sure just once will never in a million years be enough for him, but he doesn’t say that part out loud. it’s like barry hears it anyway, with the way he’s eyeballing him right now, gaze flickering between the fistful of his shirt in rafe’s hand and rafe’s eyes.

“‘m pretty sure you don’t wanna see any of this shit, country club. it ain’t pretty.”

there’s definitely insecurity laced through barry’s words, and rafe wants to shake it right out of him. all of it.

“why don’t you let me be the judge of that?” rafe huffs, wanting to smack barry for being so goddamn stubborn.

it takes another moment, but barry finally concedes. it surprises rafe - he hadn’t thought it’d be so easy to get barry to cave.

but that seems to happen more and more these days, and barry always has this look in his eye when it happens. something that looks a lot like trust. it always sends these delighted little shivers racing down rafe’s spine.

barry lays down on his back, reclining slowly, tucking his hands behind his head. he lets rafe scoot his shirt up, inch by inch, exposing marks and scars as far as the eye can see.

they’re clearly the source of barry’s insecurity, based on the way barry is avoiding rafe’s eyes now, and rafe wants to map out each and every one with his fingers, etching them into his memory like a brand.

rafe stretches out on his side, propping himself up on his elbow, smoothing his hand over the happy trail he knew barry was hiding. when he scratches his nails through the wiry hair, barry shivers.

he feels like he’s conquering undiscovered territory. rafe wonders, fleetingly, if there’s ever been anyone else. any other person who’s been permitted to see the full masterpiece that is barry the fucking coke dealer.

a flare of possessiveness sparks in rafe’s belly, and his physical response is to squeeze one of barry’s pecs in his hands, happily noting the way barry’s eyes flutter shut and his abdominal muscles jump.

“all of it,” rafe says suddenly, tracing an uneven scar that nearly runs the entire length of barry’s sternum. “show me all of it.”

barry’s eyes lock with rafe’s, and he’s never looked more uncertain. rafe just gives barry a challenging look, arching his brows.

finally, barry sits up with a sigh, his back to rafe, and rafe scoots his own body up the bed to prop himself against the pillows. barry tugs his shirt fully over his head, and rafe finally gets what he wants.

barry’s back holds the worst of it, flesh marred and littered with jagged scars, all varying in size.

“‘s always when your damn back is turned,” barry comments, turning his head to look back at rafe, noticing the way rafe is staring at him. “that’s when they get you.”

“they?” rafe asks, his eyes still fixed on barry’s back, the tips of his fingers reaching out and ghosting over a long, rope-like scar twisting its way down barry’s left flank.

“the enemy.”

rafe swallows as he thinks about it, about the violence and the pain and the blood and guts and gore that war brings, a curl of desire settling in the marrow of his bones.

for a moment, he wishes he could’ve traded places with barry during that point in his life. maybe so he could take away some of this insecurity that’s all tangled up inside of barry and make it his own - or maybe just so he could feel the thrill of a fresh kill, all the while adding scars of his own to his collection. little reminders - the forever kind.

most people wouldn’t feel jealous of barry’s experiences. but, rafe cameron isn’t most people.

“tell me about them,” rafe demands, though his voice is gentle. almost soothing, in a way. “what’s this one from?”

rafe scoots closer, tracing a short, thick scar that’s evenly lined up with barry’s shoulder blade.

“ka-bar,” barry says without even turning to look, able to tell just from rafe’s touch alone which scar he’s talking about. “little bastard got me durin’ a raid. never heard him coming til’ he was right fuckin’ behind me.”

rafe’s thumb smooths over the mark, his eyes fixed on it, entranced. he imagines the knife digging into muscle, blood pooling and spilling down barry’s back. his stomach twists, and he can’t decide if it’s a good twist, or bad.

maybe some sort of fucked up combination of both.

“and this one?” rafe asks, running his hand over the long scar winding its way down barry’s flank.

“bootcamp,” barry tells him, his voice a little breathless. “got tangled up in one of them damn climbing walls, y’know, with the ropes ‘n shit? rope burn’s a bitch.”

“that’s an understatement,” rafe mutters, tracing the scar with mild fascination. “rope burn did all this?”

barry shrugs, and rafe can feel the motion of his muscles shifting and resettling beneath his palm. “maybe dug in enough to cut. can’t remember too much about it, some dickhead kicked my damn head so hard i blacked out.”

you don’t have murderous tendencies, you don’t have murderous tendencies, rafe thinks to himself, breathing steadily through his nose to suppress the urge to ask barry what the stupid fuck’s name was so he can look him up, go to his house, and slit his throat in his sleep.

instead, rafe traces his fingers along a round, almost neat scar that sits close to barry’s spine.

“what about this little guy?”

barry snorts. “that little guy? gsw, baby boy. any closer to my spine and i’d be in a chair right ‘bout now. think you’da still fucked me if i came back on wheels, country club?”

rafe knows he would have. he’ll fall together with barry no matter what. they’re bound to it, rafe has decided. something as simple as a wheelchair wouldn’t be enough to block fate. or destiny.

whatever, it doesn’t matter. rafe just sits up, shuffling around until he’s straddling barry’s lap, facing him head-on. he pushes barry’s shoulders until he flops back against the pillows, looking up at rafe almost in earnest. like his whole world hinges on rafe’s response to his question.

instead of giving him one, rafe shifts down barry’s body, angling himself so he’s hovering over barry’s stomach. he kisses his way up barry’s happy trail, cataloguing every soft sigh and whimper so he can replay them all later, like a little symphony in his mind.

“and here? what happened?” rafe asks quietly, his lips ghosting over a jagged, star-shaped scar on barry’s hipbone.

“soviet slug, no rifling. bye-bye bikinis,” barry says in a strange voice, cracking a small smile that rafe can just barely see through the darkness of the room when he looks up.

rafe just stares. “what the fuck are you talking about?”

“you- rafe, c’mon, don’t tell me you never seen the winter soldier,” barry groans, and rafe just blinks at him, unimpressed. “shit, you really ain’t seen a damn thing except fight club, huh?”

leave it to barry to ruin the fucking moment. rafe pulls his lips away from the scar, finding a smooth patch of skin nearby to sink his teeth into instead.

barry’s whole body jerks in surprise, but then his fingers tangle in rafe’s hair, holding him in place a little desperately.

rafe releases the skin from between his teeth, sucking at it until it’s nothing but a pretty pattern of teeth marks and bruised skin.

he has the sudden urge to bruise every inch of unmarked skin, his own personal way of claiming his prize. rafe slithers up barry’s body like a snake, coming to a stop at his chest so he can suck pretty little marks anywhere he sees fit. which is everywhere, including a mottled scar that rests just below one of barry’s pecs.

that one has barry keening in surprise, but he doesn’t shove rafe away. instead, he grabs rafe’s chin and lifts his head, forcing their eyes to meet. barry’s pupils are blown wide, and he’s looking at rafe with something that’s akin to fascination.

“you really ain’t got a problem with- with this shit?” barry asks, his voice tight with emotion.

rafe wants to mock him, just for a second, but he won’t risk losing this masterpiece. not now, not after he’s finally laid his claim. knowing barry is his to keep, well. it’s enough to deter him, and fill him with something that feels a lot like want.

“it’s- you’re perfect,” rafe says, his voice just shy of breathless. “like someone threw paint on the mona lisa and finally fucking made it better.”

barry, for a long moment, just stares at rafe, his chest rising and falling rapidly. then he tightens his grip on rafe’s jaw and pulls, causing rafe to lose his balance and topple down on top of barry, their faces nearly colliding.

and then they’re kissing, which is nothing new but it feels new. because so much of barry is new to rafe right now, and he’s starting to lose himself in it.

barry kisses rafe like he’s starving for it, like he’s a desert flower in desperate need of a light rain. rafe can’t breathe and he doesn’t care, he doesn’t need air - he’ll just steal barry’s.

just when he thinks he’s going to pass out, barry pulls back, his thumb stroking along the line of rafe’s cheekbone as he looks up at him.

he gives rafe a look that’s almost adoring, and says, “call me the fuckin’ mona lisa one more time and imma give you some scars of your own, princess.”

rafe just gives barry a wolfish grin, dipping down to nip at his bottom lip, then asks barry one simple, blessedly short question.

“promise?”

[rebelwrites]

A Fathers Love

Chibs Telford x Daughter Reader

He couldn’t believe it, today was the day his little girl got married. Sitting on the sofa he was deep in thought as the make up artist did what she needed to do.

“Da you still with us” you laughed looking at him through the mirror.

“Aye” he nodded pushing himself up to his feet “just thinking”

“You’re worried you are gonna lose me aren’t you” you said arching your eyebrow.

“Well yea kinda” he chuckled softly.

“I might be becoming a Teller today but deep down I will always be a Telford” you smiled slipping your hand into his “and I will always need my Da. That won’t change”

“I just can’t believe you are getting married today” he whispered tears filling his eyes “and who would have thought it would be to Jax”

Soon enough it was time to get your dress on so Chibs left the room to go have a smoke.

It was like the past 26 years flashed before his eyes.

After about half an hour you opened the door, creeping up behind you dad, tapping his shoulder.

His grin was wide and had tears in his eyes when he saw you.

“Lass you look so beautiful” he whispered kissing your cheek. “I am so proud of you, you managed to keep up with the club life whilst becoming an amazing women”

“Da please don’t make me cry” you smiled lighting your smoke.

“Have you got the reaper on your dress?” Chibs smirked

“Of course, got them to make one out of lace so it blends in” you grinned “the club is a big part of my life so it would be wrong not to have it. Also I want to show you something”

Reaching your hand to the neckline of you dress you rolled the top down just enough to show the black thread.

“Filip ‘Chibs’ Telford”

“You got my name stitched into your dress” he whispered.

“Yeah I did. Above my heart, I wouldn’t be who I am today if it wasn’t for you dad. You some how managed to raise me as a single parent whilst dealing with the club. I’d say that’s pretty amazing” you grinned.

“God I’m so emotional today” he laughed wiping his eyes before stepping forward to place a kiss on your forehead “I love you kid”

“I love you to Da”

“Now let’s go get you married” he grinned.

———

The service was beautiful, short and sweet just what both you and Jax wanted. Mainly so you had more time to party.

Chibs had just finished his speach spilling some embarrassing memories of both you and Jax. And it was now time for the father daughter dance.

Resting your head on his chest as his arms wrapped around your shoulders, as you swayed to the music.

“I lost my breath when I saw you take your first. My whole world stopped like that and I ain’t the crying type. I just saw your eyes words just can’t describe what I see. You look just like me, yeah”

“I still remember the first time I held you in my arms, watching your Y/E/C eyes staring up at me” Chibs whispered loud enough for you to hear “I think that was the first time I had ever cried”

“Da, Don’t make me cry you old bastard” you laughed looking up at him.

“You’re gonna think I hung the moon. You’re gonna think I made the sky. That the sun rises and sets inside of my eyes And it won’t be long ‘till I hear “Daddy’s home"”

“God I used to love coming home just to hear your footsteps on the wood floor screaming ‘daddy’s home’ no made what kind of day I had you always made it so much better” he smiled with tears in his eyes.

“It was the best part of my day as well, because it meant eating dinner in front of the TV and cuddles” you giggled.

“I hope I’m still your hero ‘cause I already love you more than even I understand”

“You will always be my hero da, no matter how old I get. You taught me right from wrong, how to shoot a fucking gun, how to ride, everything I know is because of you. I mean you even taught me how to make a body disappear” you laughed.

“Yeah probally wont win dad of the year for that one” he chuckled spinning you around.

“You have in my life” you smiled.

“And one day you’ll realize I’ve lost my cape, I can’t fly. And I’m only human. And you’ll need more than me”

“I will always need my Da by my side. Yes I have Jax now but he can never replace you” you whispered resting your head back on his chest.

The song came to a end and Chibs pulled you into a tight hug. Looking up at him it was obvious he had been crying through the song. Reaching up you wiped his tears away with you thumb.

“I will always love you daddy” you whispered “no matter how old I get, my love for you will never fade”

Out of the corner of your eye you saw Jax appear smiling at the two of you.

“Chibs can I dance with my wife now” Jax chuckled placing his hand on the small of your back.

“She’s all your Jackie boy” Chibs nodded before kissing your head.

He took a couple of steps before spinning back around placing his hands on Jax’s shoulders.

“Just promise me one thing Jackie Boy, promise me you will take care of my little girl. Because if you don’t I will kill you” Chibs nodded before smiling at you both and heading to the bar.

-

“Babygirl you need to slow down” Jax chuckled wrapping his arms around you, placing his hand over you stomach “we both know you get clumsy when you rush and we can’t have you hurting peanut”

“But I’m excited” you whined.

“I know you are and I am to but I don’t want you hurting yourself” he whispered kissing your head. “Now slow it down”

“Or what” you giggled.

“Girl don’t, not when we are just about to head out” Jax groaned as you wiggled out of his arms, grabbing the bag that held the secret in.

After a quick drive you pulled into the lot of the clubhouse, gaining a few weird looks to why you was in the car and not on the bikes. Ever since you told Jax you was pregnant any where you both went he refused to take his bike.

“How you are going to keep this in until after dinner I have no idea” Jax laughed as he watched you bounce on the balls of your feet waiting for him. “Come on then you dork let’s go tell Chibs the good news”

Waking into the clubhouse, you had a grin plastered on your face.

“Dadddddy” you giggled

“Oh fuck” Chibs laughed engulfing you in his arms “this sounds fuckin’ expensive”

“I got you a present” you grinned.

“Since when did you by me stuff” he questioned taking the bag off you and sitting at the table.

“Just shut up and open it” you beamed leaning into Jax’s side, watching his reaction.

As Chibs pulled the small box out of the bag, he looked up at you arching his eyebrow. “Choose wisely? Something best not jump out at me” he chuckled slowly lifting the lid off the box. As he pulled each name card out he read it out loud.

“Papa, grandad, Pa, granda, gramps” he trailed off, eyes becoming wide, tears running down his cheeks and a wide grin on his face. “Princess, what is this?” He asked already working the answer out.

“I’m pregnant Da” you grinned.

“I’m gonna be a papa” he sobbed running his hand over his face before hugging you.

“I guess we know what name he picked” Jax laughed “Papa Chibs”

“I can’t believe my baby is having a baby” he sniffles wiping his eyes, placing his hand on your stomach.

— — —

You was now 6 months pregnant, and let’s just say protective was an understatement, not only did you have an over protective husband, who if it was up to him you’d be on bed rest wrapped in bubble wrap but your dad was just as bad if not worse. You had a prospect with you every minute of the day when Jax or your dad wasn’t with you. It amazes you that you even got to piss in peace.

“You are meant to do what we tell you yes?” You snapped as you paced the floor of the club.

“Yeah” the prospect mumbled.

“They why haven’t you got me my ice cream” you huffed.

“Kiddo your gonna wear a hole in the floor” dad laughed as he kissed your head “What’s up?”

“Dickhead won’t get me ice cream” you pouted. “And peanut really wants ice cream”

“Well it’s a good job I’m the best Da in the world and stopped by the shop on the way home then” he grinned pulling a tub of bubblegum ice cream out of the plastic bag.

Tearing the lid off, you dug your finger into the cold goodness, scooping some into your mouth. “I fucking love you” you mumbled with a mouth full of ice cream.

“I love you to kiddo” dad chuckled.

— — —

You was now 5 days overdue and wasn’t allowed to even leave the house, thanks to the prospects being on strict orders from Jax and Chibs.

You knew the guys had a busy day so prayed that the baby didn’t decide today was the day they wanted to make an appearance.

But it seemed like your prayers fell on deaf ears as you started to get twinges in your stomach, and soon enough your waters broke all over the kitchen floor.

“I don’t care what they are doing, you need to get Jax and my Da here now” you snapped “and we need to go to the hospital”

The guys had just got back from a quick run when Chibs got the text to say you had gone into labour.

Standing up from the table he took two steps before screaming.

“JAAAAAAAAAAX!!!”

Within seconds he skidded into the room.

“Yeah” he breathed.

“We gotta go boy, baby Teller is making an appearance” he grinned as he pretty much ran out to his bike.

Neither of them cared about following the speed limit they just needed to get to the hospital as fast as possible. Soon enough they had arrived and Jax stumbled into the room making you laugh at his dorkiness.

“I’m here baby” he whispered instantly coming to your side.

Seconds turned into minutes which turned into hours and baby Teller was being stubborn.

“I want my Da” you cried pushing through another contraction. Jax left your side for a couple of seconds to poke his head out the door to call Chibs in.

“Daddy I’m scared” you cried as another contraction hit. All your emotions were running high and Chibs knew that even though you was excited for this baby you was scared you was going to be a bad mother.

“Princess there’s no need to be scared” Chibs whispered kissing your head. “You have Jax, you have me and the club. You aren’t going to have to do this on your own. Now come on just breath, I want to meet my grandchild”

A couple more hours had passed and you was exhausted, but all that was forgotten when the tiny human was placed in your arms. His tiny blue eyes, which were identical to his father’s, staring up at you, watching every movement.

“He looks like you” you whispered leaning your head against Jax’s shoulder.

“Unlucky bastard” Dad laughed.

“You did great baby” Jax whispered kissing your head “he’s perfect”

“So have we got a name or did you give up and the poor lad is gonna be called peanut for the rest of his life” dad smirked walking over to Jax and pulling him into a hug, tears in both of their eyes, placing his hand on the back of Jax’s head he spoke softly “welcome to fatherhood son. Beannachd Dia dhuit”

“Papa Chibs” you grinned at you dad as you passed him your son “meet your first grandson, Jackson JR Filip Teller”

“Princess” he sniffed looking down at his grandson “I’m honoured to share my name with this little one”