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spanishskulduggery · 3 years

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Hi! I'm studying B1.2/B2 level Spanish and I want to learn * words to express things more*...(recently I learned,, conectores del discurso,, and some ,,frases hechas,,)

I'm sorry if you already posted something like this, I'm a new follower and I just saw that you have this account since 2013! (P.S.between it's hard for me to study words for any language; I have to write 1 word 10 times to memorize it,and others just read it once)

Have a great day!🌸

So I'm going to attach some of the (what I call) academic connectors. They're just words that I find really helpful for explaining things or especially in oral exams or written exams to sound more coherent and link your sentences together.

I suppose the more correct term is something like particles of speech or something along those lines, but they're the kinds of phrases you will want to know if you have any intention of writing in Spanish and especially if it's in an academic setting:

de hecho = in fact, as a matter of fact

no obstante = nevertheless, regardless

de todas formas = in any event, regardless

sin embargo = however, nevertheless

con respecto a (algo/alguien) = regarding (something/someone), with regards to (something/someone)

en cuanto a (algo/alguien) = regarding, with regards to

por lo general = in general generalmente/normalmente = generally / normally

mayormente = for the most part, mostly, mainly en su mayoría = mainly, in its majority, for the most part

en realidad = actually, in reality

actualmente = currently, nowadays hoy en día = currently, nowadays, today

antiguamente = formerly, in the past, previously

por lo tanto = therefore, as such

a su paso = “in its wake”, “in its path”

a medida que = "as", "while (something is/was happening)"

ya que... = since, given that...

así = like that, that way

así que... = so..., that being the case...

pues... = then / since..., that being the case...

entonces = then [in a sequence of events] / then, consequently

por consiguiente / consiguientemente = consequently, as a consequence

de una vez = for once de una vez por todas = once and for all

por enésima vez = "for the umpteenth time", "for the hundredth/millionth time" [hyperbolic]

al principio = in the beginning, at the start

al fin = at the end, in the end, at last, finally

lo primero es lo primero = “first things first”

por último, finalmente = lastly, finally, ultimately

dicho eso... = that being said...

susodicho/a = aforementioned

de antemano = beforehand

a lo largo de (periodo de tiempo) = throughout (time period)

durante = during / for

últimamente = lately, recently

según (algo/alguien) = according to (something/someone) / as per

de acuerdo con (algo) = as per (something), in accordance with

por lo visto = apparently, "it would seem..."

desde luego (que) = of course, surely

en absoluto = absolutely not, in no way

a pesar de (algo/alguien) = despite, in spite of (something/someone) pese a (algo/alguien), despite, in spite of (something/someone)

a partir de = starting (at a point), since, from a partir de hoy = starting today, from today on a partir de aquí = from here on out a partir de ahora = starting now, from now on a partir de entonces = from that point on, from then on a partir de mañana = as of tomorrow, starting tomorrow

de ahora/hoy en adelante = from now on, from this point on

en tal caso... = in that case...

por defecto = by default

principalmente = for the most part, mainly, mostly

además = furthermore, in addition

por casualidad = by chance, coincidentally

al azar = at random, randomly

al menos / por lo menos = at least

al contrario = on the contrary

por el contrario = by contrast

en cambio = in contrast, by contrast, conversely

al revés = upside-down, inside-out, topsy-turvy

(todo) patas arriba = “upside-down”, “everything in chaos”, “turned on its ear/head”

de igual manera = in the same way de igual forma = in the same way del mismo modo = in the same way igualmente = likewise, in the same way

de manera diferente = differently de otra manera = differently, in a different way de otro modo = differently

tal y como = just like, exactly tal y como es = exactly how it is

de/en cierto modo = in some way / in a sense de cierta manera = in some way / in a sense

en algún sentido = in a sense en cierto sentido = in a sense

de una manera u otra = one way or another de una forma u otra = one way or another

apenas = hardly, barely a duras penas = hardly, barely

a secas = plainly, simply

en lugar de, en vez de = instead (of) [you’d phrase this as en lugar de algo “instead of something”, or en su lugar “in its stead” or “in its place”; it takes some getting used to]

por accidente, accidentalmente = accidentally, by mistake

todavía = still

de vez en cuando = “from time to time”

a la vez = at the same time, simultaneously

en promedio, como media = on average

por las buenas = “the easy way”

por las malas = “the hard way”

de corto plazo = short-term

de largo plazo = long-term

a cambio (de) = in exchange (for)

a propósito = on purpose, not an accident

por cierto = by the way

a/en todos los efectos = for all intents and purposes en todo sentido = for all intents and purposes

mientras tanto = meanwhile

hasta = until, up to / even, including hasta que + subjuntivo = until (something happens; subjunctive)

incluso = even, including

al pie de la letra = “to a T”, exactly, precisely, “by the book” tomar al pie de la letra = to be very precise and methodical

(tomar algo) a la ligera = (to take something) lightly

por dondequiera / por doquier = “everywhere”, “every which way”, “all over the place”

de cabo a rabo = completely, through and through

al fin y al cabo = “at the end of the day”

por (el) otro lado = “on the other hand”

que yo sepa = as far as I know que tú sepas = as far as you know que nosotros sepamos = as far as we know [follows conjugation rules for subjunctive saber]

es decir (que)... = that is to say..., in other words...

o sea... = in other words...

And obviously por and para which are their own issue but they come up a lot. Which is understandable but they’re a big hurdle even for people in the C levels

There are others that are better understood with examples because it’s not enough to just write it. So:

aun vs. aún -aun with no accent is “even” and is synonymous with hasta or incluso -aún with the accent is “yet” and is synonymous with todavía

o sea -The expression o sea is used as “in other words”; do not confuse it with óseo/a which is “osseous” or “bone-related”, an adjectival form of hueso “bone”. Some people do write it as one word “osea” but it really should be separate... and sea is technically subjunctive ser

certain expressions with femenino de indeterminación -a solas “one-on-one” or “privately” -a sabiendas “knowing full well” -a ciegas “blindly” or “in the dark” -a escondidas “secretly” And many others, some of which were in the longer vocab list above

subjunctive phrases [use with care] -There are many phrases with subjunctive that you eventually need to know and they can be helpful in essays, though again this is its own topic. Things like para que “so that (something will happen)” or con tal (de) que “as long as (something happens)” are sort of subjunctive phrases of unmet conditions... things like “unless” or “until” things happen are subjunctive in many cases. Some like aunque become “although” with indicative and “even though / even if” in subjunctive... I say use with care because this is more of a functional vocab list not a grammar lesson.

solo, sólo, y solamente -solo/a as an adjective means “only/single/a single person” or it means “alone” -solo as an adverb is synonymous with sólo. The accent mark there is a vocal inflection so it’s like “ONLY”. You use either as “only” or “just”. Since it’s an adverb, solo will not change for gender/plural -solamente is “solely” and is synonymous with solo/sólo

pero vs. sino -pero is “but” when you’re changing the topic or providing different information; no es de Alemania pero habla alemán “he’s not German but he speaks German” -sino is “but rather” when you’re correcting someone’s statement; no es alemán sino francés “he’s not German (but rather), he’s French”

I would also say it’s worth understanding how ya works because it’s got a lot of uses

I’m also going to attach some links to my tags that will help you navigate and find more of what you might be interested in:

Vocabulary

Idiomatic Expressions (especially the older entries tend to be more universal; the newer ones are expressions I tend to find and am interested in sharing so if you go into my archive and look for the tag “idiomatic expressions” or “expresiones idiomaticas”

Grammar ...which is probably not what you need right at this moment, but in case you want to peruse my stuff on different grammatical concepts I have everything from present tense to imperfect subjunctive

#Spanish #language #learning Spanish #langblr #vocabulary #vocabulario #reference #ref #so much vocab #long post

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a-bts-world · 3 years

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Chapter 4

Masterlist

‘Hello everyone! I am happy to see you all. As you know Yuta is still not back, which means we have to do this mission without him. However I believe this shouldn’t be a problem for the next mission.’ Taeyong welcomes the 22 members of Neocity to the meeting. He hands a deck of papers to Taeil, who is on his right, Taeil grabs one paper and hands the pile to the next person. After everyone has a paper, Taeyong starts again. ‘On the paper you see the building where we are meeting with the Camorra family. They are one of the only real families left, so we need to be sure that this mission goes as planned. We are supposed to meet them for a deal, they want new weapons, so we are going to deliver. However I don’t expect them to be honest about their intentions. That is why I need everyone for this mission. Jaehyun, Hendery, you two will handle the deal like always. However this time all of the Neos will be available for any help you need. Except Mark and Haechan, I need you two in your Dream function. Which means we will have three hackers, Haechan, Yangyang and Sungchan. Jaemin I need you to infiltrate their mafia, see if you can find out anything about this deal. Wayv you guys will be working on another mission on the other side of the building, supposedly one of the Strays is being held hostage there. Renjun I only expect you and Mark at the sight, everyone else is at home. You guys understand me, dreamies? However, this doesn’t mean I don’t need you. Jeno I want your best explosives. Shotaro and Chenle I want you two to find me anything about this family, I know way too little about them. On the paper you can find more specifications about the mission. I will see you again tomorrow, to talk the last things through. Any questions for now?’ Taeyong asks after he dumped all the information. Most members shake their heads, but Doyoung puts up his hand.

‘Why do I not have any job?’ He asks, deep down already knowing the answer. So when Taeyong tells him he is suspended because of his mistake, doyoung is angry. ‘You just told me you need all of us for this mission? Why are you keeping this from me!’ Doyoung shouts. Jisung flinches at the sound. Taeyong notices this and gets annoyed with Doyoung.

‘If you are mad with me then tell me personally, don’t do it in front of the Dreamies,’ Taeyong calmly states as he looks back at Jisung, seeing that Mark is already looking after him. Doyoung doesn’t answer and angrily storms out, slamming the door on his way out. Soon after the sound of something breaking is heard.

‘Doyoung? What is happening?’ Honey asks quietly as she finds Doyoung sitting in the hallway, face in his hands and a mess around him. Doyoung doesn’t answer her. Honey notices his shoulders rising and falling pretty fast, which makes it seems as if he is crying. ‘are you okay?’ She asks, putting her hand on his shoulder. As he raises his head, she sees that the boy was indeed crying.

‘Yeah, I am fine.’ He answers stern, pushing her hand away and turning his back to Honey.

‘Doyoung, I made some tea. Do you want to come downstairs and explain to me what happened? I am sure somebody else will clean this up. Don’t worry.’ She asks, trying to seem approachable. Because that is basically her function at moments like this. Doyoung doesn’t say anything but he does slowly stand up, walking down the staircase behind her, with his head hanging low.

Honey texts Sun, asking her if she would want to clean up the mess Doyoung made and if she wants to come down to the kitchen afterwards. ‘Do you want anything Doyoung?’ Honey asks him as they enter the kitchen. He just shrugs his shoulders, which Honey understands as anything will do. ‘So talk and explain, what happened?’ She tells him sternly, wanting a real answer this time. Doyoung realizes he needs to tell her, otherwise he would be in even more trouble. So he does, he tells her everything. Not only what happened, but also why it happened.

At the exact same time Yukhei is leaving the house. After the meeting, Yukhei was able to leave because he didn’t have any other responsibilities. So he grabbed his study books and is now on his way to a café, the same one where he always studies. Before sitting down he decides to get a coffee, so he walks up to the bar and orders a drink. After receiving the drink he walks towards an empty table, but he as he focusses on the table, he doesn’t look in front of him. Suddenly he bumps into something. Yukhei looks down and sees a smaller girl standing in front of him. ‘Sorry! I didn’t see you,’ he says and hopes the girl accepts his apology for bumping into her. Since she doesn’t answer him, Yukhei looks down once more and notices the big stain on her shirt. He must have spilled his coffee. ‘I’m so so so sorry, this wasn’t supposed to happen.’ Yukhei suddenly spits out, noting how he hasn’t apologized yet for spilling the coffee.

‘No problem, you couldn’t have known.’

‘Okay, but at least let me make it up to you. Is there anything you want or need? Or let me take you for dinner! I think that is a good idea, us going on a dinner.’ Yukhei blurts out, nervous to make the girl uncomfortable.

‘I think dinner is a bit much, but I would like a coffee,’ She smiles and Yukhei can only nod. The moment he locked eyes with her, he couldn’t think about what to say.

‘Okay, I will get you a coffee,’ Yukhei mumbles and walks towards the counter with her, pays her drink and then they are waiting together on the drink. ‘So do you want to join me while I am going to study for my upcoming exam.’ He asks.

‘Yeah, if that is okay with you. What do you need to study? I have an upcoming exam about the renaissance, since my major is Art history,’ The girl explains to Yukhei, talking about how excited she finds it. As she receives her drink the two of them walk towards an empty table near the window, while she keeps talking about art. Yukhei just admires her positive energy, while they get seated at the table. ‘You said you needed to study as well. what was it for? I just completely talked about me only,’ the girl apologizes.

‘Well my major is History and I also have an upcoming exam about the Renaissance period, weirdly enough. So that is what I am supposed to study for. May be we can study together more often, since we have the same subject for our upcoming exam,’ He answers. The girl nods and places her stuff on the table. Ready to start the study session. Yukhei notices this and reluctantly gets his books. This wasn’t what was supposed to happen, they were supposed to talk more. However the duo studies almost all afternoon.

After talking to Doyoung, Honey walks back upstairs to her shared room with Taeil. She has been feeling really tired today, so just going back to bed seems like a great option. So when Honey reaches the room, she changes into her pajamas and lays on the bed. Before falling asleep she remembers to text her husband that she is tired and went to sleep. Before she can actually send it, the door opens.

‘Hey, I didn’t know you were here,’ Taeil says as soon as he enters the door. Closing it after him and walking up to the bed.

‘Yeah, I was just about to text you that I was really tired and that I wanted to sleep for a bit,’ Honey answers, as Taeil sits down beside her on the bed. His one hand grabbing Honey her hand and his other hand stroking her hair.

‘To be honest, I was practicing self-defense with Johnny and I am really tired as well. Is it okay if I join you? I have already showered at Dreamland.’ Taeil defends his self.

‘Sure,’ Honey answers before Taeil can even finish his sentence, not caring about whether or not her husband already showered. Holding up the bedsheets in order for Taeil to get under them as well. Taeil hurriedly steps out of his clothes, leaving on just his boxershorts and t-shirt. He then gets under the sheets. Turning to his side and putting his arm around his wife. Becoming the big spoon in this cuddle session. With Taeil caressing her hair they fall asleep in the middle of the day.

‘Taeil!’ Johnny screams as he opens the door of the bedroom. But when he sees the married couple sleeping, he closes it.

‘What is it?’ Taeil whispers just before Johnny fully closes the door.

‘Well nothing important I was just wondering about something legal. But it can wait.’ Taeil nods, accepting that Johnny won’t tell him what he needs. Even though he is awake anyway, so he could have better just said what he needed. Johnny just leaves the room after that and Taeil turns back to his wife, who is still sleeping. He puts his hand on the nightstand and start feeling around for his phone. After searching around, he finds it. Grabbing his phone, looking at the time. It is around four o’clock. Almost time to pick up the younger members, so he slowly moves out of the bed. He hopes he doesn’t wake up his wife. Then he quickly changes into his clothes and grabs the car keys, noticing that he is a bit late. So Taeil hurries downstairs, sprints down the stairs, almost bumps into Winwin, then runs to the garage and thus to his car, and eventually leaves the compound.

First he needs to pick up Jaemin, then Chenle and Yangyang, normally Jisung is the last one to be picked up, but he called in sick today. The other boys are being picked up by Ten today, because they are on the other side of the city. Speeding a few times, Taeil makes it just in time to the University Jaemin attends. Waiting on the side are Jaemin and Mariposa.

‘Hello guys,’ Taeil says as he stops next to the duo.

‘Hello!’ Mariposa excitedly answers and waiving to him. Taeil waves back, while Jaemin opens the door.

‘are you sure you are not coming today?’ Jaemin asks her softly. But Mariposa just shakes her head.

‘I have an important exam to learn for. I am sorry, next time maybe. Besides I also need to meet up with Serenity and Precious, we need to hand in a paper next week. I am so sorry Jae, I have no time.’

‘okay, no problem. You got this!’ Jaemin answers. He hugs her, hoping to put his girlfriend at ease, he knows how stressed she can be. As he caresses her back, he feels her shoulders drop. She relaxes her body. ‘See you tomorrow,’ Jaemin says and kisses her forehead. He turns around and sits down in the car. As they drive away, both Jaemin and Taeil wave at Mariposa.

When the car is out of sight, Mariposa turns around and walks towards the library. When she arrives she is a bit earlier than they had agreed on, but that is no problem. Mariposa sits down and places her stuff on the table. As she turns on her laptop Serenity sits down next to her and Precious in front.

‘So how are you and Jaemin?’ Serenity curiously ask, as the two girls also grab their stuff and turn on their computers. ‘Everyone thought you guys were on a break, but now you are all lovey-dovey again.’

‘We are good. We weren’t really on a break, but I had to figure out some stuff,’ Mariposa answers quietly, looking down at her hands. Serenity nods, ready to let go of the topic. However, Precious doesn’t seem ready to let the topic go.

‘What did you need to figure out? And isn’t that technically a break? Mari why won’t you tell us anything?’ Precious asks caringly, looking into Mariposa her eyes, hoping to find an answer.

‘I do tell you everything necessary. If you want, you can see it as a break, but it was less than a week. So I don’t really see it as a break,’ Mariposa states, clearly not wanting to tell anything more about whatever may have happened.

‘Okay, now let’s get started on this paper!’ Serenity encourages the other girls. Immediately starting to read the research paper that was assigned to them to use as a source. Mariposa nods her head and follows the lead of reading papers. Precious is a bit harder to convince, since she doesn’t have the motivation to be reading concentrated. She enjoys staring out the window, onto the sport field. Right now, the track team is working on their speed. Precious only joins the other girls at studying, after Serenity keeps on bugging her about not learning anything. After a few hours the three girls have almost finished their assignment.

‘We are having a game night and I want everyone to join. Unless you have a proper reason and Taeyong agrees to it, then you are exempted. Everyone else is down here at 9,’ Johnny shared after dinner.

Doyoung immediately walks up to Taeyong, while everyone cleans the table. ‘I am not participating.’ Is all the younger man tells the leader. He doesn’t even wait for an response from Taeyong. Taeyong just nods, knowing he will get a lot more of his members visiting him before 9 o’clock.

‘Taeyong, is it okay if I stay in my room tonight?’ the youngest member quietly asks his leader as Taeyong is walking to his room.

‘Are you sure you don’t want to join us? You haven’t talked to some of the Neos for a very long time,’ Taeyong asks the younger member, knowing the boy hasn’t really talked to anyone since Yuta left for Japan and everything that happened back then. Jisung shakes his head.

‘I have talked to Kun, while being his medical assistant,’ He defenses his choices. Taeyong just nods.

‘I know, but you also know, I said Neos. However I am happy that you continued your time with Kun. But the others also miss you. What if you join tonight for at least one game and then after that one game you can leave whenever you want. Is that a good compromise? Taeyong almost pleads to his youngest member. It has been a while since most member have been together after the accident and he just needs to see his member happy again, even if it is just for a night. However he also notices the doubt in Jisung his eyes. ‘I promise you can leave after. Please, just be there.’ Jisung slowly nods and heads up stairs.

At nine o’clock Taeyong sits down in the living room. Some members have already joined, like Winwin and Hendery. Others are still nowhere to be seen, such as Jeno, Jisung, Shotaro and more. After five minutes of still not having all the members downstairs Johnny stands up and rings the dinner bell. This bell is heard everywhere in the house. Usually it is used by Kun, whenever dinner is ready, but sometimes when there is a meeting and some members are late the bell is also used. Most members are now present, expect Jeno and Chenle. The moment Johnny stands up, ready to ring the bell again. Jeno and Chenle come storming down the stairs. They sit down one the ground, in front of a couch. Saying they were in time, Johnny didn’t ring the bell for the second time yet. The duo just earns a scoff from Taeyong and understand that they were just in time, before they would have received a household task.

‘Nice that all of you have joined this game night! Doyoung and Jisung are free to go, Taeyong accepted this. But everyone else, we expect you to be here until at least eleven o’clock. We also know the rule, no phones during game night. So everyone please put your phone in the box, as always. Then we can begin. Since it has been a while, Taeyong and I decided that a lot of smaller games would be a good idea. So one the dining table you can find different board games, while at the couch we will play games like thirty seconds. Choose anything you would like to do and make sure to win.’ Johhny explains everything once again, because it has been a while since the last game night. Jewel excitedly screams, grabs Ten’s hand and start dragging him towards the dining table. This was the sign for other members to also enjoy the evening.

taglist: @yutahoes @bvbyxuxi

a/n: Yes I did manage to post this one! I am so excited to share all the ideas in my head, but I hope some of you are catching on to some of the hints ;). Please leave your feedback, so I can improve.

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banyeet · 5 years

Text

Studying Tips from a Bad Student

Print out your syllabus.

Carry it with you. Highlight readings when they are assigned and cross them off as you complete them.

Put in the dates of all your assignments the first day of class. Make special note of overlapping assignments/exams. 3 midterms and 2 papers due during the same week? Better to know 2 months in advance instead of 2 days.

Pick 1 office hour for each class that works with your schedule.

I never ever went to office hours before becoming an adult. Honestly, I hate commuting, and I don’t like spending my free time on campus. So if I’m going to attend tutorials or office hours, there better be a damn convenient time for me to go.

Pick one time for each professor that you feel like you don’t mind attending, and highlight/write down that information where it’s easily accessible to you. Do this during the first week of classes.

If you can’t find a regular office hour time that works for you, immediately contact your prof or TA to ask how they feel about e-mailed questions or scheduled appointments for when you need help. Once you hear back with their alternative, make note of it in that same accessible place so you know what your options are when you have questions.

Take notes by hand.

I type way faster than I can write, and I’m sure a lot of you are the same. This is partly because your brain isn’t processing what you’re writing down in the same way as when you physically write it out. Trust me, it makes a difference.

Also, I found that if I handwrite notes, I am more likely to go back and look at them again later on. What I like to do is write the notes out in class, and then review them either that night or the following day and highlight, bold things, doodle relevant icons, generally make them look pretty. That way, you’re reviewing them but it’s also fun. Spend some time before the semester starts to get a pen you like to write with, and maybe some coloured highlighters and post-it notes. Interesting things are easier to keep looking at.

Don’t write out exactly what’s on the slide.

First off, if your professor isn’t the type to post slides before/after a lecture, ask if that is a possibility. There isn’t always time to write everything down during lecture, so it helps if you are able to fill in the information you missed after class. If you don’t want to ask in person, an email is usually okay.

Listen to what is being said in relation to the points on the slide. Usually, what’s written on the slide doesn’t even make that much sense, because it’s only enough information for your professor to remember what they wanted to say. Or it’s written in a way that is unclear to you, so you might want to word it differently so you understand it during review.

Once you get the main point of what you’re suppose to learn, write it down in your own words. When studying, you can compare your own notes to the posted lecture slides. See if they still make sense when compared to each other. Flag things that don’t make sense, so you can ask for clarification during office hours.

Block time.

Plan time every day for school work, even if nothing is due. It doesn’t have to be much. Maybe 45 minutes on weekdays, and 2 hours on Saturdays and Sundays.**I’m taking 2 classes (and working 37 hours a week) right now, so obviously if you’re taking 8 classes you’ll need a little more than 45 minutes a day lmao.

Stick to it; hold it in high priority. Avoid making plans during your blocked time as much as possible. For example, if you have Saturdays blocked from 11am to 1pm, and your friend wants to have lunch at 12:30, ask to reschedule for after 1pm. It might not shock you that this isn’t a deal breaker in most cases.

Plan leisure time.

Do your friends typically like to go out on Friday nights? Do you like to play video games or watch a show during a certain time of the week? Remove those time-slots from the equation (i.e. Friday from 8pm to Saturday at 11am no longer exist in your schedule).

Plan your blocked time around that. That way, you never have to feel guilty about having fun during that time, because it wasn’t available for schoolwork in the first place. **obviously do this in moderation. Don’t block off 10am-10pm every day for dicking around, or you won’t have time for anything else.

Plan to procrastinate.

If you are an avid procrastinator like me, plan time for it. One thing I learned quickly about functioning as an adult is to plan everything. E V E R Y T H I N G. If you don’t plan for it, it’s either

a) not happening, or b) happening anyway and fucking up your whole schedule.

So start homework and assignments way early. I was terrible at estimating time. Things I thought would take me 25 minutes usually ended up taking me 2 hours. Dinner plans I thought would end at 8pm ended up lasting until 10pm. But only finishing 30% of what you planned to get done isn’t the end of the world when you started 2 weeks earlier than you normally would. You have more blocked time tomorrow. **don’t let this happen every day. As I mentioned, your blocked time should take priority over everything else as a general rule.

Print off assignment criteria.

Nothing pisses me off like losing marks on technicalities. The layout of your arguments wasn’t in the right order. Your essay only hit 3 of the 5 points it was meant to. You cited in MLA instead of APA format. You were mean to include information from a list of specific sources, not ones that you found in the database yourself. None of that is an indication of whether you understood the material or not.

So before you start,

print the criteria, and read it thoroughly.

Read it again, this time highlighting things you feel are important to hit.

Most importantly, keep it next to you any time you are working on your assignment. Refer back to it often, especially if you feel stuck or run into an obstacle.

When you’re done, check off the highlighted instructions as you confirm that you’ve met them.

#school #universtiy #college #unsolicited advice #studying #study tips #procrastination #adult adhd #adhd

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polymetis-23 · 3 years

Text

Diary Entry Sept. 26th, 2021

Day 1 - The hunt begins

I spent most of today working on updates to my hero gear based off the trial runs these past few weeks. First I removed the giant skirt from my costume and replaced it with a utility belt. Sure those might not have been the most iconic thing about steampunk but they tinkered a lot so I'm sure they were around plenty. I hope to make more gadgets as time goes on so this will be a good place to store them. For now it is a simple belt with pockets as found at hardware stores. I know, it's ugly and doesn't really fit and I wish I had time to be proper about it, but with The Eye out there it seems somethings will sadly have to be function over form.

In addition to adding the tool belt, I have been working on the wrist crossbows (told you I wouldn't forget about them). I've moved them down from the back of my hand to around my wrist and made the bow limbs out of a semi-bendable metal. They work like springs and shoot the dart out fairly fast … or at least that is the current theory, I've really only added the wrist strap, had to finish some homework.

As the sun started to set, it was finally time for me to find The Eye (seriously does anyone have a better name for this person?) I could've sworn I was in a movie. The sky was overcast but no rain and everything seemed eerily quiet. Without a better idea I started from where I last saw them, the eye was still on the wall and it didn't look like anyone had been home in a while, I hope she didn't kill him. Anyway, I wasn't about to break into someone's house because that is illegal so I sat on the roof and surveyed for any mysterious red lights. It may not have been the most efficient way to find them, but hey that red glow is the only thing I have to identify them at the moment, and well the eye. I saw a few flashes over the course of the night, and a few more eyes around the city. Some the crime was obvious, another breakin or general vandalism, but others a dark red eye was just on a wall, nothing around to denote why.

Day 2 - Uh yeah, exams are a thing

How, might I ask, are we in the third week of classes and I already have a quiz. Like seriously what are we supposed to have learned at this point? Even if they had taught us something, this is the absolute worst time, now I have to spend all day studying and I can't go out tonight. I was getting so close last night to actually catching up to The Eye. Sure I hadn't actually seen them, but I was getting quicker at navigating the city so the time between red flashes and my arrival at a scene was getting less and less, it was only a matter of time until I caught them.

Day 3 - Crossbow work

The forecast for today is rain, lots of rain all day and I don't really fancy going out and getting soaked or slipping and falling on my butt while hunting for Eye, so I guess today is a design day. It actually works out really well because now I will have the wrist bow ready for when I finally do encounter her. Next thing I need to work on is tranquilizer darts, I don't want to permanently hurt those I bring in, after all I'm not the judge, jury and executioner, I just bring people in to meet justice.

After today's tests the bow seems to be great … or at least manageable. I still need to improve the aiming, for some reason the bolts won't group together. And I need to make an automatic reloader attachment, I have plenty of darts held on the cuff, but it would be nice for the system to be semi automatic incase I miss a shot or more probably I am fighting more than one opponent and need to incapacitate them both in quick succession.

Day 4 - The Evil Eye

Finally a semi-free day. I was able to make a few small adjustments to my weaponry between classes then waited until dark to roam the streets. The clouds from yesterday blew by leaving not a trace and letting the nearly full moon illuminate the streets, although that could also be from light pollution … I guess it is good that I can see and not trip, but I would've liked to be able to see the stars.

The night started relatively calmly, I was finally getting used to the red haze that settled over the world when I used my goggles. If I ever learn how to actually code, I'll have to write a program to filter out the ambient light, but for now I would just have to let my eyes adjust. I got lucky in my positioning tonight, I hadn't seen any pattern in how The Eye chose their targets so I had decided to sit on a random tall roof top and was rewarded with a beam of red two blocks over. Although I had previously only seen an aura of red indicating The Eye's (this is gonna stick now isn't it?) presence, it wasn't hard to imagine that they had the ability to focus it.

I ran across the rooftops, which were thankfully connected, I'll have to figure something out for when they aren't. I guess I could run at street level but that is more crowded and less direct, plus heroes are known for leaping across roofs right? Regardless I soon arrived at where the beam had been and looked for the source. Below me on the street there was a fight going on and sure enough one of the combatants' hands were surrounded by an aura of red. Upon closer observation I was shocked to find out this wasn't a fight, it was a beating. The man The Eye was 'fighting' was just laying on the ground not even trying to defend themselves. It was clear to anyone watching that the fight was over and didn't need to be continued so why was The Eye still there? I called 911 and reported the situation so her victim could get some help. I doubted they would be moving by themselves any time soon.

After placing the call I turned my attention back to the street to apprehend The Eye myself, but they were already gone, an eye left on the ground above the injured man's head. I could already hear the sirens of the ambulance and knew he would be okay. I waited until the paramedics started treating him, then left. I spent the rest of the night searching for another sighting of The Eye to bring them in, but they seemed to have gone silent for the moment. I suppose I will have to try again tomorrow now that I had seen they were not only bad, they were straight up evil. Attacking someone for no reason at all.

Day 5 - The Conversation

So classes were normal today and nothing special happened except well, I finally got to talk with the eye. I went out a little earlier than I usually did planning on scoping out some of the roofs on campus. Although I was currently preoccupied taking down The Eye who seemed to operate across the river, I knew I would be coming back to stop crime on campus eventually. There is a really nice iconic roof space above the main lobby of campus where I was planning to start. Up there you can see all around campus, sure it wasn't the tallest building, but it did have a great view.

Anyway, I was up there planning to see what was what and keeping an eye out for any red flashes in the city when from behind I heard:

"I thought they blocked off all entrances to the roof" they had, I have just been practicing picking locks. Yes I know that skill is rarely used for anything good, but sometimes it can come in handy, like tonight with the door

I turned around expecting to see some other student, while it wasn't a common hang out spot, people definitely still came up here. Instead I was confronted with The Eye herself, what was she doing on this side of the river and at my school no less. Of course I immediately confronted her about her illegal activities and she scoffed at me. I mean she literally scoffed and called me naive, how am I naive when I saw her commit those crimes? Like seriously? It quickly became apparent that she wasn't remorseful at all and needed to be brought in. We had a brief altercation which I definitely nearly won if she hadn't taken a cheap shot and knocked me on my butt I would've had her. As it was I landed with a loud smack and was slightly dazed. The only sound I heard was "stay down, this isn't the world for you" When I got my bearings again, she was gone and I was alone on the roof.

I layed back down and stared at the sky. This is going to take more work than I thought, but I'm sure it can't be that much more.

Day 6 - A day to relax

Not much happened today, I ended up sleeping through my alarm which I guess is a natural consequence of staying up into the early hours of the night every day for a week. I did my laundry, bought a few groceries and sloughed through some homework and … that was about it.

Day 7 - Coding is still the worst

So I have a problem set due for my coding class and I swear this class should be worth twice the amount of credit listed on the syllabus based on how long it takes me to write a 'simple' program. I guess I am learning some things because I can follow the code examples given in class, but I definitely can't recreate them. I'm gonna need to find another way to code my goggles or get someone to do it for me. Superheroes have a man in the chair right?

I eventually got the problem set turned in and started to draft ideas for the semi-automatic wristbow, still very rudimentary though.

#fiction #oc #writeblr #writing #vigilant series

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izumitate · 6 years

Text

don’t linger

So, I was trying to write something sad, but jury’s out on whether it worked, haha. This one is for my favorite angst queen @audriel89 !

Content warnings: this one’s about ghosts, so there’s referenced character death.

“Hey, Kuroo. Nice hat,” Sawamura says, wearing the same beautifully wry smile as he did when he was still alive.

“Thanks, it was a gift,” Kuroo replies numbly, reaching up to grip the brim of his hideous tiger stripe cap. Yamamoto had given it to him as a present a couple of years ago, and now he wears it when he ducks out of the apartment on rainy days for a short errand and doesn’t want to carry an umbrella. It protects his head well enough, but he can still feel the light patter of rain on his shoulders. The sound of droplets rustling against the plastic bag in his hand reminds him that he only stepped out to grab a bottled milk tea and box lunch for tomorrow, because he knows he won’t have the time to stop by during his rush for the train. There weren’t supposed to be any ghosts included in this little excursion.

“It keeps your hair in check, in any case,” Sawamura says. He gestures with one pale, translucent hand at Kuroo’s forehead. It’s dark all along this road, but for the beaming lights of the konbini storefront and Sawamura, glowing like moonlight. Still as young and handsome as Kuroo remembered, just a bit more ethereal now. A bit less grounded.

“Yeah, but it makes the cowlicks worse when I take it off.” Kuroo’s voice is steady, to his surprise.

“I didn’t think that was possible.”

“A limitation of your imagination, Sa’amura-san.”

“I suppose so.”

“So,” Kuroo says, dragging out the word. “This is new! Taking a little postmortem stroll around Japan? Where have you been so far? See anything good?”

Maybe if he acts like this is normal, things will make sense again and his brain won’t shatter. Or he’ll just go insane that much faster.

Sawamura shakes his head, amused by Kuroo’s valiant attempt at nonchalance. He floats a little closer; Kuroo wants to reach out and touch him. “Not really. You were my first stop; I thought it might be fun to visit you.”

Kuroo blinks. “At two in the morning?”

“Sorry, is this an inconvenient time for you? Should we reschedule this haunting for a little later?”

Kuroo laughs at the unimpressed look Sawamura sends his way. Still so sassy, even as a ghost.

God, what are they doing here? Is this even real? Or did Kuroo trip on his way down the stairs and fall into a coma without knowing it? Is there any explanation more logical than the conclusions he’s jumping to?

“Is that what’s happening? You’re haunting me? That’s a bit unfair. What’d I ever do to you, Sawamura?”

Sawamura grins back, floating all the way over to hover by Kuroo’s side as he begins walking back to his apartment. If they’re going to have a conversation, might as well do it somewhere warm and comfortable. Kuroo doesn’t explain where they’re headed, but Sawamura doesn’t ask, content to just go along with it. Even in the past it had always felt natural to fall into step with one another. No need to waste words when they somehow knew how to read each other’s body language fluently enough to translate without thinking.

“What didn’t you do to me, is the real question. I have a whole list of complaints, Kuroo. It’s why I came so early in the morning; it’s gonna take me until at least breakfast to get through all of them.”

“I hope you’re not expecting me to cook for you, too. I only have one egg.”

“And you’re not offering it to your guest? I didn’t take you for the stingy type.”

“Take pity on me,” Kuroo whines. “I’ve got tests to grade and and club activities tomorrow. I need the energy. Which reminds me, I’m also hoping you don’t expect me to stay up all night. I have to wake up in a few hours.”

“You’re so high-maintenance,” Sawamura jokes as they ascend the stairs to Kuroo’s place. “I should’ve chosen an easier target. But seriously, you can sleep first if you want. I’ll still be here in the morning.”

Kuroo gets to putting his purchases away once he lets himself inside, while Sawamura peeks curiously around his not-very-interesting apartment. Sawamura seems preoccupied with the photographs on Kuroo’s wall, so Kuroo leaves him be for a moment to go change back into his pajamas.

“Are you saying you’re going to watch me sleep?” Kuroo asks while Sawamura scans his bookshelf. Sawamura turns to see Kuroo vigorously brushing his teeth, and shakes his head.

“Not unless you want me to,” he says with a laugh, and then floats over to the window. “Go to sleep, Kuroo. I’ll be back tomorrow; we’ll talk then.” His form grows thin as he passes through the glass and then Kuroo is left standing alone in his apartment with toothpaste froth on his mouth, wondering if he just had a really weird fever dream. Because, what? Just happened?

Kuroo shuffles blankly back to bed and slides under the covers. There are too many words forming into too many half-woven questions; they tumble around his brain without direction. For some time he just lies there, staring at the ceiling and the dark, until an uneasy sleep overtakes him.

True to his word, Sawamura is back five hours later when Kuroo is packing up his bag for the day.

“You came back,” Kuroo says as he watches Sawamura fall back into place beside him, like it’s natural to belong there. It doesn’t feel as wrong as it should. Kuroo may have grown too accepting in recent years.

“Of course I did; what kind of ghost haunts someone for just twenty minutes?”

“I did think it was kind of a letdown, but it felt rude to mention it.”

“And everyone knows that you’re never rude, right?” Sawamura teases as they walk to the train. Kuroo has headphones in – the kind that also function as a microphone, so that he at least looks like he could be talking to someone on the phone. The train is crowded this morning, so Sawamura floats up to sit atop the baggage rack, to avoid phasing through anyone. Kuroo stands facing up toward him, gripping a hand strap and pretending to look at the screen announcing the next stop, but their eyes keep catching on one another’s, and they exchange sheepish smiles.

When most of the morning crowd clears out, they move over to an empty corner so Sawamura can stop perching like a cat about to strike.

“So, are you back on unfinished business?” Kuroo asks, like they’re discussing weekend plans. He’s seated, looking up toward Sawamura, who shifts out of people’s way as if he still has solid mass. He still smiles at children and the elderly like they can see him. But sometimes Kuroo catches him watching people with a certain intensity that feels unfamiliar. Maybe being dead makes the world look a little different.

Sawamura returns his attention to Kuroo. His hand is resting against the wall as if to brace himself and Kuroo has to wonder absently about how the laws of physics apply to spirits. “Mm, I wouldn’t quite put it that way. I’m just here to hang out for the day.”

“Did- um. Did you want to see something in particular? I have work today, but we could go somewhere afterwards.”

“No, I didn’t come expecting you to provide entertainment. I just thought I’d drop in and see what you get up to these days. If that’s okay?” He looks momentarily lost, and Kuroo quickly shakes his head.

“Yeah, you know I’m always up for fun. I gotta tell you, it’ll probably be kinda boring for you, but if you don’t mind chilling out and making fun of my students, then let’s do it.”

“Let’s do it,” Sawamura echoes, with the same brightness in his eyes Kuroo remembers from across the court. Phoenix fire and marble.

Behind and through him, the world blurs green and powder blue outside the train window. It’s a beautiful day.

Kuroo’s homeroom class is rowdy and clever and terribly annoying this morning. It takes a while to get them settled, and by the time he leaves them for his first class, Sawamura already knows them too well.

“You knew what you were signing up for when you became a teacher, right? Was corralling your team not enough for you?” Sawamura asks during his free period. Kuroo just spent the last hour going over last week’s test and listening to a whole lot of groaning. He’s marking more exams now as he sips his milk tea; Sawamura leans against his desk and looks around at the other teachers too busy to pay mind to Kuroo basically talking to himself.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about; Nekoma was team of pure, good-hearted angels. Now, if I’d been in your shoes, then I probably wouldn’t have wound up here.”

“Oh, you would’ve gotten a handle on them eventually. Just like you’ve got these ones under your wing. I have to say, you’re a lot better at this than I expected.”

“Thank you a million times over for your faith in me,” Kuroo says dryly. “What do you think Amagi wrote here? An eight? An ugly five?”

“Looks like a five to me,” Sawamura says. “Give her the full points.”

“You’re too soft,” Kuroo tsks, and they finish grading in this same manner for the rest of the period.

Kuroo doesn’t wonder at the fact that no one else in the school can see Sawamura. He assumes it’s because Sawamura has no ties to anyone else here, or that it’s because of some other ghost business that Kuroo doesn’t understand. Sawamura does accidentally float through another teacher at one point, and she sneezes right afterward.

They spend lunch outside, watching students milling around in little clusters. Somehow it feels easy to be together like this, despite all the oddities of the situation. Sawamura asks after all the old group, and Kuroo tells him everything he knows, though he has to apologize for not keeping up as much with all the ex-Karasuno members. Sawamura just laughs, telling him that knowing anything at all is more than he really expected.

“Do you have any good tricks?” They’re watching a crowd of kids exchanging flirtatious banter, and it makes Kuroo want to play a prank on them.

“What am I, a dog?”

“I’m just saying, ghosts usually have some fun powers. Like telekinesis.”

“Nope, I’ve got nothing.”

“Boring,” Kuroo says with a pout, and Sawamura rolls his eyes, floating backwards until he’s hanging upside next to Kuroo’s head.

“Yeah. I went to the afterlife and all I got was this lousy intangibility,” he says, and Kuroo feels suddenly guilty. Sawamura is literally dead and here Kuroo is, making a stupid joke about it.

“Shit, that was insensitive. I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay, I’ve gotten pretty used to being dead. Don’t feel too bad. C’mon, tell me which of your kids is the most likely to embarrass themself in the next five minutes.”

Kuroo gladly latches on to the change in subject. “Oh, definitely Sakurai. Watch, when he goes over to Kanda…”

The day is uneventful as far as school days go, but Sawamura never seems bored, even when he keeps relearning the same math lesson over and over. By club time he seems even livelier, floating around in amusement as Kuroo oversees the Exercise Club. The small group of students are doing stretches and jumping rope in the yard.

“Before you ask, yes, we do play volleyball sometimes. I put up a net outside when the weather is good.”

“Do you ever play?”

“Yeah, but not for long because they start complaining about uneven teams,” Kuroo says, keeping an eye on a girl chasing her friend around with her jump rope.

“Play six on two. That would even things out.”

“Too much, maybe. I’m not that fit anymore.”

“You still look pretty good to me,” Sawamura says with straight-forward honesty. Kuroo’s heart skips a beat until he follows it up with, “I mean, your face is what it is, can’t do anything about that, but the rest isn’t bad.” He gestures broadly at Kuroo’s body.

“I see you haven’t gotten any more charming since I last saw you,” Kuroo snarks back, and Sawamura laughs. He looks like he wants to bump his shoulder against Kuroo’s, but they both know it’ll just be a reminder that this can’t last.

“It’s hard enough for people to change as it is; us dead guys are totally stuck in our ways.”

After club wraps up, Kuroo returns to his desk to send out a few emails before calling it a day. They’re standing at the train station again, waiting to return home when Kuroo thinks to ask, “Are you sure you don’t want to go do something? Normally I just go home and crash on my couch after dinner, but it’s Friday evening, and you’re in town.”

“Are you saying you wanna go out?”

“I mean, it seems like a waste for you to come all this way just to watch dumb reality tv with me while we eat takeout. Uh- while I eat takeout.”

Sawamura shrugs. “To be honest, that plan sounds just fine to me. But maybe you’re right. I only have twenty-four hours. I should probably make them count.”

Twenty-four hours? Kuroo wasn’t aware of this.

“Is that when you have to go back? To the, uh,” he makes a sweeping motion with his arm and probably makes everyone in the vicinity want to avoid him, “the great beyond?”

“Yeah, I could only afford a one day pass,” Sawamura says like he’s joking, but Kuroo’s chest seizes painfully anyway. If he had known, he wouldn’t have kept Sawamura here, hanging around aimlessly instead of using his time for better things. Before he can get all tangled up in guilt, Sawamura puts his hands in his pockets and asks, “So what should we go do?”

Kuroo had found it a not-unwelcome change to return to the countryside once he graduated from college. The slower pace of life, the abundance of nature everywhere, the wide open spaces and quaint houses tucked among the foliage. He kept his house closer to the town center, preferring to commute over to his school, and it’s worked out well enough for him so far. The downside is most places of interest are at least a few train stops away. He thinks for a moment about where they could go on such short notice, where Sawamura might actually enjoy himself.

“We’re close to the water,” Kuroo finally offers. “It’s a little cold this time of year, but the shore is pretty nice.”

Sawamura doesn’t take more than a second to think about it. “The beach? Sure, why not. Take me to the beach.”

They have to ride into the main station before changing lines, and by the time they make it to the ocean, it’s early evening and the sun is starting its descent. There are few people around; the April weather is pleasant but growing rapidly cool now that the day is coming to a close. It leaves Kuroo space to openly talk to Sawamura without looking too strange – insofar as a man alone at a beach is ever strange.

“Do you swim?” Sawamura asks as they walk along the shoreline. His not-quite-there feet swish through the water that crashes gently against the white sand. The foam tickles at Kuroo’s bare feet, and he hops a step further from the water. It’s a touch too cool for his skin.

“Yeah, though it’s been a while. I used to go on beach trips with Kenma’s family all the time when we were kids. We’d have matching floaties,” he says with a laugh as he remembers the time Kenma got a sunburn on his shoulders and was cranky for weeks.

“I can see that. You used to splash him while he was huddling on the beach, I bet.”

“You know it. Were you a swimmer?”

“Not really, but now that I can’t do it, I feel like I miss it? That’s how it goes, I guess.”

“Well, I’ll swim twice as hard next time; you can live vicariously through me.”

Sawamura shakes his head with a smile. “Sure, you do that.”

After walking to the cliffside, Kuroo jogs back the way they came, trying to beat Sawamura back to his shoes, but ghosts can fly surprisingly fast. He collapses into the sand afterward, wheezing as Sawamura laughs at him. Since neither of them are equipped to go swimming today, Kuroo settles for making a damp, slouchy sandcastle as they talk about the current Nekoma team under Coach Naoi’s instruction.

The sun is near the horizon now, a deep molten core streaking the indigo waves with gold. Sawamura sits across from Kuroo so that the sunset shines through him, and Kuroo’s words stick in his throat for a moment when he notices.

He’d never gone to the beach with Sawamura while he was alive. There was never time, just like there was never time for any of the other thousand things Kuroo regrets not taking a chance on. Taking that art class in university. Going skydiving with Bokuto. Asking Sawamura out for a drink.

It isn’t like Kuroo had burned for Sawamura. Or tore up flowers and sheet music and journal pages trying to capture some fraction of the feelings he felt for him. Nothing ever so far-reaching or soul-wrenching.

But he had always thought that perhaps there was a greater than zero chance they might someday find their way to each other. Two lines not quite parallel, that might meet somewhere down the road, once they’d stretched far enough in the same direction. Sawamura had occupied a place in Kuroo’s life that no one else could fill – some cross of friend, rival, and if-only.

It was fondness folded into a summer daydream: wispy and weightless, with no expectations, but a whole quiet world of possibilities. And then all those possibilities came to an abrupt halt, and that was that.

Sawamura had never been his to lose. But Kuroo had hurt, nonetheless.

“Kuroo, help me dig up that little thing right there,” Sawamura says, interrupting Kuroo’s spiraling thoughts. His translucent hands comb against a shining patch of sand.

“Here?” Kuroo crouches down and scrapes his fingers through the spot Sawamura was just touching. He unearths a chunk of green sea glass the size of a stamp, and rubs it clean of sand. “Oh, nice find!”

It’s a lovely mossy color, frosted and worn soft to the touch. Sawamura runs a pale fingertip over the surface and then withdraws, floating a few feet into the air.

“Sorry, I can’t buy you anything, so that’ll have to do for a souvenir of our trip.”

“That’s more than good enough for me,” Kuroo says, finding himself stricken by the expression on Sawamura’s face.

He looks like he’s at peace, smiling at Kuroo with the same fondness he’s seen directed at Hinata or Suga or Tsukki. The sea glimmers dark like gold-embroidered velvet through him, but he looks and sounds so heartbreakingly familiar in this moment that Kuroo thinks he could forget about the last five years if he were to close his eyes.

Forget the way his heart stopped cold when he first heard the news. Forget how serious and still Sawamura’s face had looked in his memorial portrait. Forget how he had ached, sitting there with Kenma as they watched Hinata on the international court, knowing that there was someone who would never get to feel that pride when looking down at the court.

It’s past six p.m. now. Kuroo only has Sawamura again for today. This short, unsatisfactory slice of time. Eight hours left, and Kuroo doesn’t know how he’s going to say goodbye at the end of it.

It’s a quiet ride home, and then Kuroo brings them to a hole-in-the-wall yakitori place where he likes to grab a bite to eat after long days at work. They get a tiny booth to themselves, and Sawamura watches with patient amusement as Kuroo eats.

“What food do you miss most?” Kuroo asks, because he always loses track of his tact when he’s tipsy, and because Sawamura has proven to be awfully nonchalant about no longer existing.

“Actually, I think it might be yakiniku. Part of it probably has to do with the atmosphere; y’know, sitting around a table with your friends, fighting over the last piece of beef.”

Kuroo can see it, especially after that last day of training camp. God, they’d been so young then. Even now, he can imagine how it would be: Sawamura, crowded in his seat up between Azumane and Suga, arguing with Bokuto over the next piece of meat, making sure the pork is cooked just the way Kuroo likes it.

Kuroo waves his skewer in the air like an addled conductor. “Next time…the next time we do yakiniku, I’ll put a plate aside for you. I’ll even buy you a drink,” he promises drunkenly. “Come back and join us.”

“Well, I can’t say no if you’re going to be so generous.” Sawamura rests his chin in his hand, watching Kuroo with undivided attention. With the smoke in the air and the lights gleaming dimly against the wooden walls, the space feels suddenly intimate, and Kuroo takes another deep swig from his beer.

What if he had asked, one of those dozens of times he wanted to? Would they be sitting in a restaurant together on a night much like this one, laughing at each other’s jokes and flirting lightly as they wait for the check? Would Kuroo finally know more of Sawamura’s touch, beside those fleeting handshakes and hugs shared over the years?

Could Kuroo have changed the path of Sawamura’s life? Or do all roads lead to the same destination – with Kuroo mourning Sawamura as a lover instead of a friend?

There are no answers at the bottom of his bottle, but he drinks as if there are. Sawamura doesn’t comment, but he does pull the conversation back toward easier matters: Kenma’s promotion, Kai’s wedding, Yaku’s visit last month. Kuroo focuses on telling the best stories he can, because he thinks that if his mouth stops moving he’ll fixate on how Sawamura’s hand always rests close enough to touch, but never close enough to feel.

It’s approaching midnight when they leave the restaurant, and Kuroo takes Sawamura on the meandering path home. There’s a small park near his apartment block, and Sawamura insists that he take a seat on the bench for a moment to find his balance when he almost trips on the sidewalk.

“C’mon, I thought you could hold your liquor better than that.”

“ ‘m not even drunk anymore,” Kuroo grumbles. He slumps down, legs outstretched, and lets his head loll back. “I just get a little clumsy when I’m tired these days.”

“I don’t believe it,” Sawamura says brightly. “Not with those reflexes of yours.”

“Hey, lay off, I’m getting old!”

“You’re still in your twenties; don’t act like such a geezer.”

Kuroo pulls a face. “Not for long, I’m not. I’ll be using a cane soon. You’ll see.”

“Don’t be in such a rush to grow old. You’ll get there eventually.” Sawamura, seated on the bench beside him, floats up a few inches so he can reach out as if to brush Kuroo’s fringe out of his eyes. Of course, he only passes through Kuroo’s face like a winter breeze, but Kuroo gives him a watery smile back anyway. This is a tenderness neither of them is used to, but it feels like it’s been overdue. If only for tonight.

“Yeah, I’ll sit outside my house and yell at my grandkids’ friends when they come around.”

“At least offer them some snacks, you jerk.”

Above, the stars are brighter than they ever were in Tokyo, and Kuroo wonders if this is the sky that Sawamura used to see, looking out his window as they reached for the same dream. It’s easy to waste another hour just talking to Sawamura like this, because this is the relationship they always had, in those scant moments they shared together over the course of their friendship. Sawamura wasn’t lying when he said he just wanted to visit: it’s like he’s been dropped back into Kuroo’s life after a long trip abroad. If Kuroo were a little more idealistic, he would hope for another day like this, another chance to catch up a few years down the line.

But something in the core of his heart tells him this isn’t an ordinary occasion.

It’s a quarter to two when they finally reach the main street that leads back to his apartment. They pass by the konbini silently, and then the criss-crossing little residential streets until they’re standing only meters away from Kuroo’s building. Kuroo’s never been an expert on the supernatural, but he can feel the space around Sawamura growing blurred, like it wants to pull him back across the veil. He’s about to make an ill-timed joke about it when Sawamura stops them in their tracks and turns to look Kuroo in the eyes.

“Thanks for spending the day with me, Kuroo. I had a lot of fun.”

There’s a heavy finality in his voice. It fills Kuroo’s lungs with lead.

The alcohol is wearing off, but enough of that liquid bravery, like magma in Kuroo’s stomach, remains that he wants to say something stupid in response.

I mourned you.

I grieved for something I wasn’t even sure I understood. A lingering promise, a missed chance. A dream that faded before I could wake.

...I think I could have loved you.

But there are only a few fleeting minutes until Sawamura has to depart, so Kuroo will be civil. Kuroo will be kind, to both Sawamura and himself.

He intends to just accept Sawamura’s gratitude, but one question sticks in his mind so persistently that he’s asking before he can find the self-restraint to stop.

“Sawamura. Why did you- why come and see me? I know there are so many people who would’ve given- who would be delighted to see you one last time. So why choose me?”

Sawamura pauses, his mouth slightly parted as if to speak, before his expression shifts.

Years ago, lifetimes ago, there had been a morning in Tokyo, misty and gray, when Sawamura had stumbled into Kuroo’s corner of town and they spent a handful of hours together before he was expected at the airport. They’d done nothing exciting, but Kuroo will never forget it, if only because of the expression that Sawamura wore while they were waiting for the bus as the fog lay thick around them, blocking out the rest of the world.

Kuroo had long gotten used to being admired, or glared at, or sized up as an opponent. He’d seen all three cross Sawamura’s face in the past, though usually he met Kuroo with either amusement or teasing exasperation. In that moment, however, it had been something wholly new. Something Kuroo wasn’t sure he was reading correctly.

Sawamura was watching Kuroo like he wasn’t sure he was real, those dark eyes wide and wondrous. As if Kuroo was something special to behold, something not quite within reach. It only lasted a second, before Sawamura shook himself out of it and gave Kuroo that sly grin that he knew so well. But Kuroo could never get that sight out his head, letting it haunt him in sleepless hours.

It’s how Sawamura looks at him now.

“I just wanted to see you, I guess,” Sawamura says, eyes soft. After a second, he laughs quietly and ducks his head, in a gesture that feels painfully true to life. When he looks up again, his gaze is clear and focused, the way it always was on court. The way Kuroo remembers him best. “I wanted to catch up with an old friend. So, thank you. Maybe we can do this again sometime.”

They both know that they can’t.

Kuroo swallows, and it hurts his dry throat. “Y-yeah, of course. Just, uh, drop by or whatever. You know where to find me.”

“I do,” Sawamura says, laughing once more. Kuroo’s heart aches.

He wants to say something to prolong the moment, but if there’s anything he’s learned over the last day, it’s that any chance they had has long since been lost. Regret lies heavy in his bloodstream and his breath comes short when he inhales. Kuroo is pushing thirty now, settled in his life and happy about where he’s headed, and Sawamura?

Sawamura will never look a day past twenty-four.

Kuroo clenches his right hand, trying to remember how Sawamura’s palm felt against his, calloused and strong and searing. But nothing remains except the faintest sense memory.

He extends his hand regardless, knowing it can’t be the same.

“Goodnight, Sawamura.”

When Sawamura’s fingers brush against Kuroo’s palm, a chill runs through his skin and he tries to close his hand around the flesh that isn’t there. He gets a rueful look in return as the other man withdraws.

“This is where I tell you I won’t lose again, isn’t it?”

“And where I tell you we’d be happy to take you on again any time,” Kuroo agrees quietly.

“I think that rematch will have to wait.” And Kuroo can see his outline going threadbare.

Sawamura lifts his hand back into a wave, slipping backwards toward the light of the street lamp. The honey glow of the lamp intersects briefly with Sawamura’s own light, painting him angelic gold for a second, and for just this moment, with the veil of reality pulled thin, Kuroo can see the yearning clear as daybreak written in Sawamura’s eyes. Like a perfect mirror image to Kuroo’s own.

It’s instinct to step forward, reaching out toward Sawamura to try and touch him, to catch him before Kuroo can lose him, yet again, but already the distance is too wide. Sawamura smiles, even as he fades.

“Goodbye, Kuroo.”

And he’s gone.

Kuroo stares for a minute longer, willing the streetlight to shimmer and reveal Sawamura’s ghostly form again, but there’s nobody here on this road except Kuroo and a few sedate cars passing through. The whole world is quiet, giving him a moment of silence to find his breath, steady his heart.

The spring air embraces Kuroo with cold familiarity as he begins slowly walking up the stairs home, alone again. Above as below, the world spins on, once more without Sawamura. Kuroo unlocks his door, but stands there in the threshold for a long moment, just looking in. Finally, he takes a deep breath and steps inside.

It’s late. He should go to sleep, and wake early to greet the new day. Maybe tomorrow he’ll go for a swim.

#kurodai #kuroo tetsurou #sawamura daichi #haikyuu!!#HQ fic #ghosts #future fic #my fic

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forthemultiverse · 6 years

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See Me, Hear Me (love me) - Bruce Wayne x Reader

Anon: It's a Soulmate AU where once you see or hear your soulmate (even at a distance) you can hear their thoughts from there on. My idea is that Bruce is on patrol and saves his soulmate without realising it. His soulmate is continuously confused at the different thoughts until she figures out Bruce is Batman and confronts him in a super sassy way. What do you think? If you like it, feel free to use it!

- I’m a sucker for Soulmate AUs <3<3 I didn’t really do that much of a sassy confrontation but I actually quite like what I’ve written. Thank you for a good burst of inspiration.

“We’ll be back in town soon,” Dick assured Bruce.

“You’re chatting like I can’t handle this city on my own.”

“I’m not saying you can’t handle it on your own, I’m just saying it’s been awhile since you’ve had too, and Batman needs a Robin. A sunshine.”

“Did you just say that sentence, Dick?” Bruce landed to roll his eyes at some of the things his eldest son would say.

“I’m busy, Damian’s busy, Tim’s busy, Jason’s who knows, and you don’t have a Batgirl right now. Babs can only do so much from a computer.”

“If you’re busy, why are you still talking to me.”

“We’ve decided as a group that if you don’t have healthy communication, then you’ll become a hermit and do something stupid.”

“I’m an adult. I’m your dad!”

“Occasionally.”

“Shade, Dick!” Stephanie joined the conversation

“You’re supposed to be revising or sleeping, you have an exam tomorrow.” Bruce quicked into parenting mode.

“Don’t remind me.” she groaned, signing off. Bruce went back to being Batman, gliding through the city as Dick chatted with him. It was nice to have someone to talk to.

“I thought you were gonna take tonight off anyway?”

“My plans changed.”

“Selina ditch you?”

“Having plans doesn’t mean I’m meeting Selina.”

“Who else?”

“No one else! Just changed plans.”

“You can tell me you know...” he paused, “If she’s your soulmate, we’d all get it.”

“She’s not my soulmate.”

“I just figured...”

“Would my life be easier if Selina was my soulmate? Probably, but she isn’t, so that’s the end of that discussion.”

“Did I strike a chord?”

“No.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Why are you suddenly interested in my love life?”

“I want you to be happy! I’ve always been interested.”

“I don’t need a female friend to be happy.”

“Just say, girlfriend. I’m not a teenager, I’m literally nearly thirty.”

“I don’t need a girlfriend to be happy.”

“You’re a strong independent man.”

“I feel like you’re making a joke.”

“No!” he snickered, “I just thought I’d ask.”

“Well, I have things to do and so do you, probably.” Bruce cut the comm out.

“Female friend,” a female voice started laughing

“Stephanie.”

“Leaving.”

His something to do was an abandoned building, where lots of voices were yelling inside. No lights or decorations to suggest it was some teenagers having a party. He tried to find the best side entrance - an easy to open window or door.

A part of him still didn’t understand how Selina wasn’t his soulmate. It just felt right with her, and her lifestyle worked with his. She stole because she always had and because the rush was a drug, but if they were soulmates, he could probably convince her to find that rush in helping him. She knew both sides of him. The pair of them just worked. But they weren’t soulmates. Bruce had to accept that. Someone else was destined for him, someone else out there was gonna be cursed with his thoughts every second of the day. God. That poor person. Maybe, he just didn’t have one. Maybe, Selina was his perfect match, but she was an even more perfect match for someone else, so he was the spare. There was probably just an odd number of people in the world. He would be left out.

There wasn’t any point moping about Selina. Their relationship was so flawed, and as much as they had passion, it wasn’t love. He just didn’t like to admit it. It was just fire, and eventually, they would burn out. He might as well put them out before they caused to much damage to everything around them. He��d made the right choice by blowing her off tonight.

But could the universe really have someone out there who matched him?

He peeked through the window, and a room full of panicking civilians were causing all the noise. He dropped to the floor, and the room went silent. Bruce could count about four grunts, and two guards knocked out across the floor, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know what happened.

“Took you long enough!” A woman snapped from above the chaos. She was sitting on a table and had stood up to glare at him.

“What?”

“We’ve been here for eleven hours, waiting for whoever they were working for to show up or kill us and we’re all tired, hungry, and a little bit annoyed.”

“Eleven hours?”

“I have a watch. Eleven hours.”

“What happened?”

“I stole a baseball bat and knocked them out. All our phones were taken off us, so we had no way to get help but yell. You gonna do something about this or just stand here?”

“Oracle?” he summoned the police to get everyone home before getting Babs to look into what might’ve happened to get this man people here without raising any alarms. Surprisingly, it wasn’t some giant scheme, just some low-level grunts trying to be big and messing up.

Lucius needed to talk to me, Babs is covering security for me, Dicks coming home, I need to check in with Clark and see if he’s been spying on Jon and Dami or not.

You slammed your face into your pillow. You’d known your soulmate’s inner monologue for about a week now, and you were ready to throttle whoever it belonged to if she ever managed to meet them again. They could not make up their mind on who they wanted to be, or maybe they had some multipersonality disorder. If it was that, then she could maybe deal with it, but if they were just weird, then she might scream. One second they're working out how to eat a burger with a fork, another second they’re eating it like a normal person, then back to the fork. They never seem to sleep, and they do stupid detective puzzle’s every day - which might have been fun if you could see the puzzle and do it too. Now you were just focused on not thinking anything.

It’s extremely hard to function in the world without thinking. You had no clue how some of the people you knew managed it.

Keep calm, think about puppies, think about your favourite shows, no, don’t do that. What if you think something weird. God. The universe is such a little bitch. Who thought mind reading was a good idea.

Bruce was freaking out a little bit. He’d learnt to clear his thoughts as part of training, he could filter out some of the things that might give his identity away. Alfred had laughed at him for being scared of a soulmate, but Bruce wasn’t sure what else he was supposed to be. He didn’t know who it was, he just knew it was after a patrol night. What if it was some thief he’d stopped. He couldn’t help but agree with the voice. Mind reading was stupid.

I could just think the puzzle aloud if you’re that desperate to be involved

Oh, my god, we can just chat like this? Crap, crap, crap, you’ve heard everything I think. I’m so sorry. I feel so invasive. I’ve just been eavesdropping your life, and I don’t mean to! I promise I’ve tried zoning out.

Were you a hostage?

Straight to the point. I could just tell you who I am.

...

Why not? Are you scared or something? If I’m one of the hostages...do you know something I don’t? The police told me that it was nothing.

It was nothing just-

How do you do that? I should be able to read your thoughts, but you keep shutting me out. How?”

It’s a skill.

...

Where’d you go?

So you would be panicked if I just disappeared...you want to know if I’m a hostage because...oh my god please be Batman.

Why would you want me to be Batman?

Because it’s Batman or a kidnapper.

Or another hostage.

Nah, if you were another hostage, you would’ve thought about it more.

Are you the girl with the baseball bat?

Yeah.

Why did you have a baseball bat?

So you are Batman.

...

That would explain the sleep schedule. It’s keeping me up you know. Having your brain so active means the second mine switches off I get yours.

Sorry

beat

I had the bat because one of them dropped it while trying to grab my ass. He touched me, so I smacked him around the head. The others came to try and detain me, but I was in a bit of a state. You saw the end result.

They touched your butt?

Yeah. I tried asking what was going on, he said some sexist crap then tried to ‘show me who’s boss’. Bit scarring. Not something a girl in this town isn’t used to. Not everyone gets to be a princess.

I’m sorry I’m keeping you up.

It’s okay. I mean, it’s for a good enough cause right. Making Gotham a better place, giving kids something to look up to, but where’s Robin? I miss seeing the red cape at night.

He’s...making friends.

I have to go, my friend needs me to cover her shift at work. Get ready for a few hours of me repeating things over and over again.

What’s your job?

I’m a bit of an artist, work in advertising for a few companies - design websites, run social media accounts, make videos and billboards and unique displays. I’ve illustrated some books. Those graffiti billboards for the main cinema’s are all me. The inspiration art round��the town’s me too. My friend’s sick, works at a restaurant. We look alike so I can get away covering for her.

You couldn’t sleep that night. Too many thoughts. Too awake.

If I’m going to adapt to your sleep schedule, do you want to chat or would that be too much of a distraction? Don’t want to put you at risk.

I can talk.

So...all your side kicks...are they all your kids? Cos I’m not judging, but that’s a lot.

Is that really the first question you want to ask?

Yeah?

One of them is my biological child, my son, the others are all my family though.

How old is he?

Thirteen

Fun age. Is he a rude teen yet.

He’d been a rude teen for a while now.

The others?

It’s kinda a long list.

I have all night.

Five boys total, one girl legally mine but two of my son’s girlfriends are basically members of the family.

All of them are heroes?

Yes

Real good parenting.

I’m a cool dad.

You didn’t just say that.

I didn’t know what I was doing with the eldest one, and once you let one kid do something you have to let them all do it!

That’s more understandable.

Large or small family?

Small, my brother moved abroad, and my parents are not part of my life. A big family sounds fun. So does that mean your kids found their soulmates before you? That's gotta hurt, no offence

It only hurts if you weren't worth the wait

Harsh!

You seem pretty worth the wait.

Won me back.

You opened your apartment door to find a basket of art supplies, a new laptop and drawing bag sitting on your desk. Your window, which had been open when you left, was now closed.

How did you find out where I lived?

I’m -

If you say, Batman,

Batman

Can you hear me sighing

You sound very dramatic, much disappointment, and now you’re laughing

How’d you even know what to buy?

My son’s very into art, I asked him what the best supplies were then researched most useful digital tablets.

So you’re rich. I figured since you fund all this Bat stuff, but like you must be so rich to support that many teens on top.

I’m comfortable

That’s what rich people say to seem less rich.

It’s polite

Thank you

Something’s bothering you.

You managed to surprise me when I can read your mind. You’re hiding things from me.

It’s hard for me to be open.

Yeah, that’s not an answer.

I barely know you, you can’t just expect me to open my entire world to you.

Why not? Isn’t the beauty of this. Someone who is perfect for you, who you can trust completely, who you have nothing to hide from, who you can’t lie to. Someone who keeps you honest and good, and complete. They get you. And don’t give me the barely know me crap, I’ve been one hundred percent readable. You’ve heard everything from movie reactions to my internal monologue when I walk to a job. You know my opinions on everything.

I don’t really want to have this conversation.

You don’t have the option not to. I mean, am I ever going to meet you again. Do I ever get to see the face under the cowl? Do your family even know you have a soulmate?

You can’t just ignore me

It’s complicated

You’re making it complicated

What have you got going on tonight that’s making you so stressed? You thought about sitting on your couch and watching a movie

Work Event

Batman Work or Real Life Work

Batman is real life

That sounded like such a bratty teen response. ‘It’s not a hobby, it’s a lifestyle mum - you just understand my passion!’

Are you trying to compare being Batman to a gamer guy?

Lil’ bit, don’t take it to heart.

Do you want me to tell you who did it?

Can you hear what I’m watching?

No, you’re just thinking about it a lot.

You've seen it before?

Watched half of it, stopped.

Figured out the murderer?

Maybe.

Just say yes, don’t pretend to be modest.

I am modest.

Yeah, wearing a mask all the time must get tough. Never getting the praise, the thanks...Have people ever claimed to be you?

I can still hear you trying to work out the murderer before half way.

Give me this one win.

Maybe you were playing with him a little bit. You’d been working on learning to tune your thoughts out. Thinking about things in codes so he couldn’t work out what you were doing. Really, you didn’t care who the murderer was - you were about to work out who he was.

After three months of conversations like this, you really did like him. Small details, he was trusting you more, it felt nice. Listening to him rant about some of the people that worked for him had helped you connect the dots. Now you just wanted to see if he was impressed with you.

A soulmate was someone who connected with you on a level more than the rest of the world. They’d love you, and you’d love them. You wanted to be loved, but talking through amind connection was getting a bit old, nothing could beat sitting somewhere quiet and chatting with someone, seeing how their face changed and moved during the conversation. Little talks, face to face. Seeing a real person, a person to fit the voice.

You were wearing a homemade dress. You were good dressmaking though. It was gold and shiny, and when you wore it, you felt like a princess. You had a feeling Bats was on to you. He had left you the mask after all. A black masquerade mask that contrasted your bright colour choice. You were getting a bit sick of hearing his love isn’t the part of the job, I don’t deserve love monologues too. He was the Knight, but you weren’t, and you’d be the day for as long as he needed if it meant you got to see him face to face.

The large family, large amount’s of money, training to become Batman. It all made sense really. Bruce Wayne. Busy lifestyle with connections to the GCPD through the Gordon family, and Lucius Fox working with him a lot. It all made so much sense.

Bruce Wayne.

(Y/N) Wayne.

You were kinda lucky. A superhero, billionaire, who’d buy you art stuff and talk puzzles - even if he already knew the answer.

You didn’t want to filter your thoughts anymore, you didn’t want him filtering his.

“Name?” the bodyguard asked at the door

“Bruce Wayne’s plus one.”

“He doesn’t have a plus one listed.”

“Give me a sec.” You could see him.

Where are you?

Look up

What?

Look up.

Where?

Just look up Greatest Detective, I’m hard to miss. Gold dress, mask you left.

Where!

See me, Bruce. You can hear me, see me.

He made eye contact with you and started laughing slightly. You’d been worried he might get mad. He might not want you here. He might not even be your soulmate. You could’ve made a huge mistake somewhere in your detective process.

I’ll give you this one.

You started laughing now

What was that you said about ‘not everyone gets to be a princess?’ You definitely look like a princess to me.

Come let me in.

The bodyguard could tell something was up. Bruce’s sudden attention towards the door, and the laughter. You suddenly blushing.

“She’s with me.”

#bruce wayne #bruce wayne x reader #batman #batman x reader #bruce wayne one shot #batman imagine #bruce wayne imagine #batman one shot #bruce wayne headcanon

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neartheday · 5 years

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Binge - because I’m a failure

I felt a binge coming earlier today, and I knew it would happen. I have not been dealing with today in a healthy manner at all..

My exam is tomorrow and I feel so awful, I feel so stupid, so defeated, so useless. I have been studying on and off but I just don’t feel ready. Am I good enough to even study something so heavy? Should I just give up on my judicial dream? Am I too sick to actually study full time?

No one where live where I moved to study has any idea that 5 years ago I was committed against my will to a psychiatric hospital. I ended up spending about five weeks in two differen hospitals. I was diagnosed with organic psychosis at the first one. None of my friends here know, they don’t have any idea.

Am I just too weak mentally to study in this field? A little before and during my hospitalisation repressed memories of being molested as an 11 year old girl by my uncle abroad came back. I’ve never been the same since, I just don’t feel I could ever be the same. My life has been so difficult up until a few years ago. Living with my parents took such a massive toll on me mentally, I couldn’t do it anymore. I grew up watching my dad hit my sisters and my mother. What even is life? Why was I chosen to lie awake at night to have these memories? Is anything even worth it anymore? Is my education worth this? I’m so tired of fighting. It feels like I’m fighting for my life, it feels like I’m in a war zone emotionally. The exams are about my future life, they’re nothing to play around with. How am I even supposed to function like a normal adult with all these thoughts in the back of my mind? How?? I don’t know how. It’s at times like these that I need to speak to my psychologist urgently, because I can’t deal with the burden all these thoughts come with.

I feel so lonely and useless. I couldn’t stick to my 1270 calories for today because I’ve just been an emotional wreck inside all day. I’m internally breaking down. Should I just quit studying law? However will I have a well paying job one day? How will I achieve the results I want one day? How will I ever have the life I so dream of?

I don’t want to go back to the capital where I came from. I want to stay here where I moved to study. It’s so much more peaceful here. But if I can’t continue studying, what can I do? I’m so sad and distressed and everything inside me feels like utter chaos. If I continue binging I will just feel worse.

Today’s binge has left me feeling so fat, ugly, hopeless, suicidal, dumb, worthless and bloated. I can’t keep binging because my thoughts become so dark, it scares me.

I think this type of binge is a more seldom type though.. because of the exam, because of the immense stress. If I were religious I’d be praying to God now, praying that I don’t gain weight, that I will get a good grade or an above average one. Yet I’m so afraid my mind will blank out due to stress and pressure.

I think I’ll pray to God just in case.

#personal #depression #struggle #binge #eating disorder #psychological #emotional problems #mental illness #mental health #mental disorder #mentally ill #unstable #mentally unstable

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cinnaminsvga · 7 years

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La Douleur Exquise Pt 3 | Incubus!Yoongi AU

➵ summary: in which you accidentally summon an incubus in the middle of your shitty apartment and he won’t leave until you agree to have sex with him. until then, min yoongi, incubus extraordinaire, is now your sexually promiscuous and grumpy roommate. aka, the incubus au no one fucking asked for. ➵ warnings: emotionally constipated yoongi and reader but what else is new ➵ genre: fluff, angst, humor ➵ words: 4.4K ➵ a/n: this part was supposed to be 10K long, but I decided to cut it short and leave the other half to be in part 4 instead. sorry for the long wait!! hopefully this doesn’t seem too rushed lol

➵ part 1 // part 2 // part 3 // part 4 // part 5 // part 6 // part 7

If scientists ever discovered a way to punch the sun, then you were sure you’d be the first one in line.

As the bright rays from the outdoors filtered into your small bedroom, you cursed past-Y/N for not having the forethought to close the blinds. You groaned tiredly, feeling the fatigue from your week of inadequate sleep still weighing heavily on your eyelids. You slowly stretched your tired limbs, your hands searching for something, or more specifically, someone.

While your twin-sized bed was usually only occupied by yourself, you distinctly remembered going to bed with a notoriously grumpy incubus the night before. But as your hands start reaching for the demon’s warmth, you were surprised to find that he wasn’t there. In fact, the sheets did not even feel remotely warm, making you assume that he had awoken maybe hours before yourself.

“What is the fucker doing now?” You muttered to yourself, groaning as your creaking joints protested after even the slightest movements. It was not without much complaining and cursing when you attempted to stand up, and not even bothering to check your disheveled reflection as you exited your bedroom in search of your grumpy demon roommate.

It did not take long for you to locate him since he was just standing by the stove, with a pair of cooking chopsticks in his hands and your pink frilly apron adorning his bare chest. You could hear the slight sizzle of the pan as he flipped what appeared to be an omelette the size of your head.

Your footsteps must had been louder than you had anticipated because Yoongi immediately turned around the moment you enter the small kitchenette.

Yoongi offered you a small grin (it looked more like a grimace, but you give him full points for trying). “’Sup,” was all he said as he finished plating the spectacular omelette on a plate for you. You could not help but notice that Yoongi had cooked the omelette exactly the way you made it for him: with a copious amount of bacon and cheese. You tricked yourself into thinking that the smile on your face was because you were finally getting to eat.

“This is all for me?”

“Fuck no. Half of it’s mine. But if you’re going to be a fatass and eat all of it, then I guess I’ll have to make myself another one.” He scoffed, but judging by the way he had already started to cook himself another omelette anyway, you guessed that he hadn’t meant a word he said.

“Sheesh, grouchy. Fine. Here, have my other half.” You teased, causing the demon to turn around in shock.

“W-wha—no! You finish that omelette, stupid! I was just joking! You need all the food you can get, asshole. Have you seen yourself lately? How am I supposed to fuck you if you look like you’re going to pass out any second now? That’s super rude you kno—“ You don’t get to hear his full rant, however, because Yoongi had suddenly stopped mid-sentence. His eyes were boggling comically wide when you promptly walked over to him to leave a chaste kiss on his cheek.

“What—huh—shit—fucker—fuck—!” He stammered, a stream of broken expletives escaping his mouth in disbelief. After having lost all speaking abilities, it was his shocked eyes that asked ‘what the fuck you think you were doing?’ since all signs of his functioning mental state had completely disappeared. You also don’t miss the slight blush creeping us his neck.

For a demon who could dirty talk like there’s no tomorrow, he definitely couldn’t handle a little bit of affection from a weak, sickly human.

Very much aware of his embarrassed state, the grin on your face was downright devilish. “Aww, is little Yoongi flustered from my little kiss?”

He flicked your forehead in retaliation, but it did nothing to stop your smirk from widening. “You motherfucker! You did that on purpose!”

You shrugged your shoulders, a small giggle escaping your lips. Yoongi would kill you if you ever told him that he was cute, but it didn’t stop you from thinking so. “Maybe so. It’s my way of saying thank you.”

It amused you greatly when the persistent blush along Yoongi’s neck refused to leave, even after he finished cooking his own omelette. When he had plated his food, you were amazed to see him actually eat like a normal person, taking regular sized bites instead of scarfing it down like an animal as he usually did. If your curious eyes irritated Yoongi, he chose not to address it, instead eating the omelette alongside you in peace.

It was an awkward type of peace; it was the type of silence that often encompassed two acquaintances who did not know what to talk about. It was when the conversation stilled and the two people find that there had nothing in common to talk about, save for the quarreling the two of you normally engaged in. Now that there was too much tension from the night before, it did not seem right to continue bickering as if nothing was wrong—as if you hadn’t looked like death from the night before.

The quiet did not last for long, as it seemed that whatever had been bothering Yoongi finally snapped him out of his odd muteness.

“We need to talk about last night. The tension in this fucking room is making my asshole clench,” he said, his fork clattering noisily onto his plate.

You barely glanced up at the demon, instead opting to go the route you normally went to—teasing. “Aww, is Yoongi worried about lil ol’ me? If I had known your heart would grow three times bigger if I stopped eating, maybe I should’ve done it sooner,” you tried joking lightly, before finally looking up from your plate and expecting to find an irritated or angry Yoongi scowling back at your petulance.

You find neither of those emotions. If you had to name the emotion swimming in Yoongi’s eyes, you could only liken it to fear.

Oh.

So he had been worried.

The teasing immediately died in your throat. “Oh,” you muttered weakly, glancing away from his intense stare and choosing to play with your food instead. “You were serious.”

You heard him snort disbelievingly. “You fucking think? You looked like you were going to die last night. Why haven’t you been eating? Don’t think I haven’t noticed; also, stop playing with your food. I’m not leaving you alone until you finish every bite.”

You paused. A perpetually irritated and grouchy Yoongi? You were used to handling his daily mood swings. But a genuinely worried and maybe even caring Yoongi? This was unlike any encounter with him that you had ever faced.

Your silence was starting to annoy Yoongi. “Well? What’s up?”

It took you a while to choose the appropriate words. Eventually finding none, you decided to just reply bluntly. “I’m saving up on money.”

Yoongi’s glare (Fuck, had he been glaring? He was actually trying to be nice, believe it or not) stopped short. Yoongi looked at you confusedly. “What? What do you mean? I thought you were working, which is how you fucking acquire money. Or am I missing something here?”

Despite being unable to meet his eyes, the undivided attention you could sense he was giving you made you fidget in your seat. You were used to his lustful gazes and miffed glares, but this stare wasn’t like any those times. What was happening? Fuck.

“Well? Am I missing something here?”

Sighing heavily, you finally managed to gather enough courage to explain your dilemma to Yoongi. “Alright, here it goes.” You shrugged, already preparing yourself for his teasing.

Basically, you had been short on cash recently because you had been sending too much of your salary back to your parents—more than you should be. In addition to the extra mouth to feed (i.e. Yoongi), you decided to cut some expenses in order to keep supporting both your family and Yoongi. One of those expenses happened to be your breakfast and dinner, since you managed to get lunch for a discounted price at the diner you worked at. You supposed that with the upcoming exams and stressful work environment, all your missed meals and lack of sleep had finally caught up with you last night.

“I’m pretty pathetic, aren’t I? I’m so stupid; I can’t even getting eating right.” You tried laughing it off, but you couldn’t quite hide how forced it sounded; it sounded like nails scraping against a chalkboard.

When you were talking, you had been too scared to make eye contact with Yoongi, too fearful to find his judging eyes staring back at you. It was bad enough that you didn’t function like a normal human being, what with not enjoying sex and all that, so you didn’t need to feel more like a loser any more than you should. But after waiting a couple of moments when you had finished speaking, you were confused as to why Yoongi still had not uttered a single word in response.

Swallowing drily, you forced your eyes upwards, bracing yourself for whatever expression Yoongi might be wearing. To your intense confusion, you found that he had no expression, his face stoic and unmoving. For some reason, you felt your heart drop in disappointment, but you weren’t quite sure why. He didn’t seem like he was judging you, so why were you sad?

Were you really crestfallen that maybe he had never been worried at all? Had you been hallucinating when you thought Yoongi could have been genuinely worried about you?

When your eyes met, Yoongi had only muttered a simple “oh” before continuing to eat his omelette. He never brought up the subject again.

The day passed without another word, and everything went back to its proper place.

Or so it seemed.

Except, some things had changed, and you would be an idiot not to notice them.

You go to work as per usual for the next couple of days. Unlike your usual routine, however, you found that you no longer needed to cook Yoongi his breakfast because he would already be gone by the time you had awakened. You never really told him that he wasn’t allowed to leave the apartment, seeing as how he was, for the most part, a functioning adult, so it wasn’t really your right to tell him what he could and could not do. It was still a surprise to find him missing every morning, as he had never left the apartment prior to what you have now labeled “The Collapsing Incident.”

You couldn’t help but feel lonely in the mornings, as you found yourself missing his vulgar comments and unwanted sexual advances. You had actually found your daily bickering to be a favorite part of your mornings, when Yoongi would be complaining about something completely mundane while you nagged at him to do something useful.

It was a weird sensation, and you weren’t sure whether you wanted to psychoanalyze yourself or not.

Although, you never had to worry whether he ever came home because you always knew that he be back around midnight. When he would think you were fast asleep, you would feel your bed dip slightly, his warm body gently encasing you in an embrace. You would fight to keep your breathing steady, lest he found out that you were aware of his nightly cuddles. Once again, you realized that you don’t actually mind this. You even went as far as to snuggle closer to him, seeking the warmth you never knew he could offer. Your brain told you to blanch and remove yourself from him, but your limbs never paid it any attention.

You promised yourself that if he ever made any move on you while you were asleep, you would immediately punt him across the galaxy and castrate him with a dull spoon. However, Yoongi never made a move to touch you, other than the sweet embraces he would give you. Nothing sexual ever happened, and you weren’t sure whether you understood why this was happening in the first place.

The both of you were supposed to hate each other. Well, maybe not hate, but you certainly weren’t supposed to just platonically cuddle with a sex-crazed demon. This went against everything you had ever known to be true. It was confusing, and your sleepy brain was much too tired to deal with the specifics.

And so, both of you went to sleep.

By the time morning came, he would already be gone.

––♡♡♡––

He never took off without leaving a little surprise, though. Every morning, you would always find some breakfast ready, with a small note from Yoongi saying that if you didn’t eat it, he’d jack off in your bed (or at least, that’s what you think he wrote, because his handwriting was horrendous.) Even though his breakfasts were usually just simple sandwiches or even some shitty instant pancakes, he’d always leave some without fail.

There was one particular morning when Yoongi had shocked you the most. On your small kitchen table was a spectacular assortment of breakfast food, from omelettes and bacon to French toast and oatmeal. All of the things on the table looked absolutely delicious, but you couldn’t help but wonder where he could have gotten the ingredients. You suspected some thievery was done here, but you weren’t sure whether Seokjin would actually have this much ingredients in his pantry, nor were you sure whether Yoongi was actually that amazing of a thief that he was able to steal of all of this without alerting anyone.

Yoongi had left another note for you that morning, explaining how he “had overcooked for himself and everything here is just leftovers so don’t let the food go to waste, idiot.” Uhuh, sure Yoongi. Leftovers meant that you had to actually touch the food, when all of these dishes seemed new to you.

(His eggs benedict? To die for. But you definitely wouldn’t tell Yoongi that.)

Despite these weirdly sweet gestures from Yoongi, you didn’t exactly feel assured just knowing he was alive and not knowing what exactly he was doing when he went off doing whatever it was he did.

Your suspicions were raised even further after coming home one afternoon from school when you “coincidentally” crossed paths with Seokjin, the handsome neighbor from before. He had asked you where Yoongi had been going to these past couple of days, explaining that he was shocked to see that Yoongi had actually donned a shirt during his daily escapades.

“You’ve seen Yoongi leave in the morning?”

“Oh yes, I have. You don’t know where he’s been going either?” You shook your head.

“Ah, so you don’t know why he was wearing shirt then? I was so surprised when I saw him—and it was a nice shirt, mind you. Although, I was quite confused when he had gone out in a shirt that looked eerily similar to one of my own—a shirt which I haven’t seen in my closet these past few weeks...” he trailed off, but you quickly dashed into your apartment before he could make any connections.

What was Yoongi doing? You don’t think you had ever seen Yoongi wear a shirt, much less a nice one, as Seokjin had put it. What if he was...

Dangerous thoughts, Y/N. Let’s stay focused.

Alright. Time to stop overthinking things and just get shit done. If you wanted to know what was happening, you were going to have to take matters into your own hands.

After a week had passed, you had finally had enough. So, you stayed up one night in order to corner him just as he had gotten back home.

It was around 1AM when Yoongi arrived, your ears alerted of the tired sigh coming from the doorway.

When Yoongi entered the living room, he was surprised to see that you were still sitting on the couch, seemingly watching a show on the television. That is, until he realized that the television was on mute and that you had probably been waiting for him to get home.

His surprise morphed into a scowl, which you assume was because his face was merely reverting back to its natural state (unbeknownst to you, Yoongi had actually been pouting because he had been excited to cuddle you while you were asleep, but he definitely wouldn’t be caught dead saying that to your face.)

You decided to cut to the chase. “Where have you been going everyday? Where have been getting money to buy all my food in the morning? Have you been eating? And when did you start wearing a shirt?” You asked, the questions flowing from your mouth one after the other.

Yoongi just brushed you off, going to the kitchen instead of answering. “What do you want to eat for dinner?” He asked, already pulling out a pan and some ingredients.

While you were sort of used to the little breakfast surprises in the morning, Yoongi never really asked you about dinner since he always got home so late (he just silently hoped that you would eat dinner on your own accord, which you didn’t. Idiot.)

“Tell me what you’re doing first.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes. “What does it matter? I’m going to cook spaghetti, and you’re not allowed to complain.”

“I don’t give a flying fuck about the spaghetti!” You screamed, extremely frustrated by his offhandedness. Amidst your exasperation was a bit of nervousness too, and you knew that it was absolutely ridiculous.

In the back of your mind, numerous questions began to form. What if he was seeing someone? He was an incubus after all! You were aware that he had his... special needs. He wasn’t shy when he expressed these needs to you, and since you weren’t capable of satiating them... Was he...?

For some reason, those thoughts left a sour taste in your mouth.

You poked him in the shoulder, hard. He yelped, almost spilling the open packet of spaghetti sauce. You peered over his shoulder to see that the brand was of pretty high quality, and definitely not something you would normally have in your pantry.

“Did you steal that from Seokjin again?” You accused.

“For your information, no. I bought it.”

“How? I only leave like $20 for you everyday, and you haven’t been taking them recently. Are you stealing?”

You both had a stare down, the tension in the room rising slowly by the minute. After a while, Yoongi eventually acquiesced, tired from the day and wanting to finally get some sleep (and cuddle with you.)

“You’re so fucking stupid, you know that?” He shook his head, returning to his pot of spaghetti.

You glared at him, eyebrow twitching in what you thought was a menacing manner (but Yoongi differed.) “How does that have to do with anything? I’ll have you know that I am highly qualified to—“

“I got a job, you idiot.”

That stopped you mid sentence for sure. You gaped at him, not really sure you had heard him right because in what dimension would Yoongi, grouchy and lazy incubus extraordinaire, would willingly go out day and night to work?

In the back of your mind, you wondered—hoped that he was doing this for you. That he really was worried when you had collapsed, and that maybe he liked you the way you—

Stop. No. Those are dangerous thoughts. You are treading dangerous territory. Back off.

You tried clearing your head a bit, so instead you asked “Is that right? Then tell me this: what have you been doing for work then?”

Judging by your stare, you both knew what you were implying. He was an incubus, after all. What better way to earn money than by doing what he was created to do? Selling his body for sex—it was too easy.

Instead, you were surprised again by how he rolled his eyes at you. “I know what you’re thinking, and you’re wrong. I’m not a fucking prostitute.”

You looked at him defensively. “I didn’t say anything!”

“You were thinking it.” He retorted. Ok, true.

“Well, fine. You’re right. But I’m just wondering, why didn’t you just... become one? Isn’t that like, the easiest method for you?” You reasoned, saying method in air quotes.

Yoongi didn’t reply. Why hadn’t he? You were right; it was clearly the easiest way to acquire money. So why did he choose to work at some dingy production studio when he could earn hundreds more cash by having sex?

But he couldn’t reply, because he didn’t know why.

He was rubbing his neck, a nervous tick you noticed he did whenever he wanted to avoid something he didn’t want to deal with. He coughed, clearing his throat. “A-anyway, whatever. The point is, I got a job. A legal job, mind you. You don’t need to worry about feeding me anymore. Besides, I have been a bit of a freeloader, and I don’t want you missing meals for me because I don’t like my partners half-dead. Also, I wouldn’t even be needing to be fed if you would just let me fuck you already then I could be on my merry way, but noooo you don’t want to so now I’m here, feeling guilty as fuck because I’m the reason you’re so damn tired all the time and honestly this whole situation is kinda shitty for you, so I’m just trying to make things better—“

He didn’t even know what the fuck he was saying at that point, with some of his innermost thoughts accidentally mingling into his words. He could have gone on revealing even more of his embarrassing feelings when he suddenly felt your lips touch his cheek, immediately stopping him in his tracks.

Just like that morning many days ago, you had kissed him on the cheek again. He paused in his movements and really looked at you. A brief silence encompassed the two of you before you suddenly pull his face towards yours. And goddamn, he lets you.

So you kissed him on the other cheek. Then you kissed his nose, his eyelids, and his forehead. It was only when you press your foreheads together when he noticed: you were crying.

In the back of Yoongi’s mind, your voice echoed, “It’s my way of saying thank you.”

Yoongi cupped your face gently, tilting it upwards so that your own teary eyes made contact with his own. He was searching for something; for what, neither of you knew.

“Wha—?” You hiccupped, your eyes bugging at his odd demeanor. Did he want you to stop?

“Just be quiet. Continue what you were doing.”

“I—ok. Ok.”

“Ok.”

The only noise that filled you small apartment was the hushed sounds of lips meeting skin. Yoongi nuzzled his nose deep into your neck, making you sigh in contentment. It was as if time had stopped; you were no longer aware of what happened outside of this moment. It was only you and Yoongi—nothing more, nothing less.

If the warm feeling in Yoongi’s chest felt so damn good, then why did your tears taste so bitter? In the back of Yoongi’s mind, he swore that he would never let your tears spill ever again.

Suffice to say, the spaghetti was left forgotten.

After a while, Yoongi deemed it was getting too late and decided it was time for you to get some sleep. As Yoongi started pulling you by the hand to your bedroom, it was only then when you thought to break the silence.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” You whispered, voice shaking as much as your hands were. Yoongi grip tightened on yours; he wished they wouldn’t shake at all.

“I could ask the same to you.”

When the two of you reached your bed, Yoongi lifted the covers for you, allowing you to enter the bed first before staring awkwardly at you, unsure of what to do. You managed to send a small smirk to him.

“Why so shy all of a sudden? You’ve been sleeping in my bed for a week now.”

Yoongi spluttered. “Wait, you knew?” And you hadn’t been disgusted?

The bed shuffled as you moved to the side, making space for Yoongi. You tugged his arm forward. He lets you. (He’s so fucking stupid sometimes.)

“Just come here. Let’s sleep.”

Despite sleeping in the same bed together with the both of you still conscious, no “merrymaking” was done that night, and Yoongi amazed himself once again when he realized that he was perfectly fine with that.

If anyone ever found out that the sex-addicted demon was getting the fuzzies from a couple of nights cuddling with you, he was sure that he would be executed on the spot. But when your small hands cupped his face so tenderly in the quietness of your room, Yoongi couldn’t find it within himself to care, not when he felt this warm.

You snuggled up to each other, with your head resting on his chest, and you fell asleep like that. The last thing you heard was the sound of his heart as it slowly faded away from your mind, losing yourself to the dreamless abyss. It was the best sleep you had in ages.

It was in that moment, when he was watching the small puffs of air being exhaled from your open mouth and your eyelashes fluttering in your sleep, that Yoongi wondered for the first time in his life if this was what it would have felt like to be human. If it was, then humans were the luckiest creatures on earth.

Not for the first time, he yearned. But this was the first time he had ever yearned for something more than anything instantaneously gratifying.

The thought scared him—that you were able to wrap yourself so tightly around his life in just a few weeks. He knew that he should be careful, that he should not forget who he was above all else.

But as the warmth from your body slowly lulled him into slumber, he honestly couldn’t give a damn in that moment, especially when he had never felt this content in his life.

For once, Yoongi was happy, and he yearned for it to stay that way. Because the devil only knew how much he fucking deserved this.

––♡♡♡––

But alas, the moment does not last.

When the two of you awaken, the warm feeling in Yoongi’s chest had long since turned cold.

Yoongi’s time was running out.

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jungkooksthighsinc · 7 years

Text

Fallen (M) Chapter One

Hi! This is a Jungkook AU! I really hope you enjoy this series! Happy reading!

For me my world has always been one way, in one system, black and white. There were no ‘gray areas’. Until I met you… I guess I should start from the beginning, huh? It’ll be easier for you to understand this way. So it won’t hurt as much… Or at least I hope.

“(y/n)! Are you listening~” Your friend, Nari waved her hand in front of your face. “Huh? What?” You ask, completely dazed. Your final exams have been back to back non-stop. You spent nearly almost all your free time studying, and the small few hours you’ve worked, you actually enjoyed. I suppose it’s my only break from the oppression of school. You thought.

“Party, tonight. My house. You coming?” Nari was the party type, but she wouldn’t get shitfaced. She’d just go to have fun and enjoy herself. She gets a sort of ‘natural high’ from them.

“You know that’s not my style” You sigh while rolling your eyes. Never in your life had you gone to a party (aside from birthdays), and you most certainly aren’t going to start now. “Aw come on! It will be so fun~” she cooed.

The bell rang and you internally growled. Exam for college algebra, my favorite. “No, besides my exam plate is stacked enough for a party of 5 to eat. I need to cram.” You sighed “it’s always about studying this, cramming that, work this. Come and hang out with me~ I miss you-“ “bye love” You waved her off with her retorts right with her.

Being short was never fun for you, especially through the halls. People always pushing past your shoulders, constantly being pinned against others because everyone is just trying to do the same thing, get to their class.

Not paying attention, you tripped. You fell flat on your ass, because someone’s bag was on the floor.

“Taehyung!” You heard someone yell.

Looking up, you see him. Jeon Jungkook. Smiling down at your pathetic self on the floor. “Sorry, my friend threw my bag. I hope you didn’t get hurt.” He said sweetly offering his hand, but you refused picking yourself up. All the girls in the school were in love with this guy. But you knew what he was known for, getting girls in bed then ditching them. You weren’t about that life.

“It’s fine,” You faked smiled “It’s my fault for not paying attention anyways” a small chuckle escaped your throat. A boy with silver hair and a red bandanna came running after you. You could feel Jungkook staring at you, but you ignored it.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t think anyone would trip!” The boy apologized. “It’s okay, really.” You smiled gently at the boy and patted him on the shoulder. “I’m gonna go now, bye.” You quickly said, excusing yourself.

I’m guessing that’s Taehyung. You thought.

Walking into class, you cleared your head and readied yourself for your exam. You were still in high school, but since your school offered college classes, you decided to take them. But it was a heavy workload, and you barely had time to enjoy yourself.

“(y/n)! Don’t think you’re getting away that easily!” Nari called after you as you walked to your car. Your brain was completely fried from that exam. Logarithms, polynomials, exponential functions, and even some damn calculus was in that test! That professor is evil. You swore that you were going to be dreaming of the equations for the next week because it is so damn engraved in your brain.

“You’re coming to the party. You’re a junior, live your life. We can have a sleepover and just talk about stupid things when the party's over” She begged with her hands together and puppy dog eyes. You felt bad, you hadn’t been spending much time with her despite her always texting you to hang. “Well it is Friday so…” “Yay!” She jumped and hugged you. “You won’t regret it!” she started to run off. “I have work till eight you know!” I yelled after her and she just put her hand up as if saying ‘yeah yeah’.

“That girl I swear” You couldn’t help but smile. Nari was like a ray of sunshine. She’s always fun to be around, and she can be very down to earth. At times she may not look it, but she’s a good judge of character and people's moods. She always seems to know just the right things to say.

You worked in a small coffee shop. To be honest you weren’t much of a coffee person, you were more of a tea person. But the aroma of coffee was so intoxicating to you. Different coffees had different scents. Some were bitter, some were sweet. Your favorite was the ‘Indian Monsooned Malabar’ blend. It had a bittersweet scent but it invades your senses and makes you feel so relaxed and at home.

“Hi Hoseok” You smiled at your co-worker. You both went to the same high school, and your shifts always seemed to sync up. “Hey, (y/n)” He gave you one of his famous bright smiles. You always took notice of his customer service since he’s always tipped well.

“Counter today?” You asked, tying your hair up and throwing on your apron. “Yep” He laughed, slipping off his backpack and green bomber jacket. Stepping into the back, you quickly made yourself look presentable. A little bit of lip gloss and mascara. You didn’t care much for how you looked, but at work it was different. You like tips, and you found that when you look a little more cute, people tend to tip well.

“Is Brian and Chase still out there?” you asked while pinning on your name tag “Yeah they’re cleaning up right now.” he was doing the same as well. He fixed his red hair today to look a little curly. Hoseok was a dancer, you’ve seen him a couple times. Mostly through just late nights of closing the shop. But each time it was more enjoyable than the last. He danced with so much passion and elegance, it truly is beautiful.

You clocked yourself in and did the same for Hoseok. He had already started preparing some of the coffee grounds. You guys had a system. He’d prep, you’d clean. Then at the end of the night you would prep and he would clean. This is how these things have always gone between you two. You worked surprisingly well together.

“Oh hey man!” Hoseok said, you turned to see him giving a bro five to Jungkook, who’s eyes immediately found yours. “Hey” He smiled back at Hoseok “Can I get a cappuccino?” “Yeah sure, (y/n).” Hoseok quickly shot you a look and you had already started.

A medium roast espresso blend in a drip coffee machine. As the cup filled, you steamed the milk, whipped it until it became a froth. Gently, you poured the milk over the dark liquid. You created a tree design in the froth due to it being December. Taking a small moment you admired your work.

Walking over, you brought him his drink. “Here you go sir, is there anything else you’d like?” You fake smiled, a beautiful art that you’ve picked up through this job. You honestly didn’t want to be around this douche. And this is the first time that you’ve ever seen the hoe here in the two whole years that you’ve worked here.

“Yes, I’d like you.” He brought his coffee to his pink lips and locked eyes with yours. Your heart clenched and you felt the blood rush to your cheeks. What the fuck? You thought. “Sorry, but I’m not for sale.” You smiled sarcastically and walked off, fists clenched. How bold! And rude, what even was that! Why is he even here. Why am I blushing? Why is my heart pounding?

“(y/n) one americano” Hoseok called “G-Got it” you stammered and mentally cursed at yourself. Hoseok gave you a weird look but you ignored it and made the coffee.

As soon as Jungkook left, you felt the tension in your chest release. How annoying. He was there for at least an hour, and every time you passed him to give customers their orders, you could definitely feel him looking at you. It was like a 6th sense or something, but you could definitely feel it.

You went to his table to clean up. And as you were, you saw a $20 tip and his number on a napkin. Your eye twitched. Who does this boy think he is? A sex god? I don’t want this dumbasses number! After putting the twenty in your pouch, crumpling the napkin, wiping down the table, and made your way back to the sink.

Is he trying to buy me? Get my attention? Well he got it alright, he’s lucky I don’t shove my foot up his ass. Wait- no I am a peer mediator that would be not something a good samaritan would do. “(y/n), I know I’m cute and all, but stop daydreaming about me and make a chai latte to go” Hoseok smiled at you, and his words brought you out of your thoughts.

“Pf, you wish dude” you laughed and he followed suit.

The rest of your work evening was pretty normal paced. Just the same old back and forward motions, you and Hoseok messing around. Counting tips, etc.

You were prepping all the coffee machines for tomorrow when Hoseok tapped you on the shoulder.

“What’s up?” You asked, wiping away at the stains in the metal rim of an espresso bean grinder. “It’s eight, your shift is done” you shooed him away. “I’m not gonna leave you my work load. That’s not cool.” you sighed, turning to face him, well more like looking up at him since you were short. “Yeah, but I don’t mind. Besides you have Naris party to go to right~” He teased. You wondered how he knew but he answered that for you. “I’m going too, but I overheard you guys in the parking lot in front of the school” he cleared his throat “You’re a junior, live your life.” He quoted Nari, but in a higher pitched mocked version of her voice.

Laughing, you pushed Hoseok's shoulder. “She doesn’t sound like that you idiot” You chuckled and he pretended to flip his imaginary long hair over his shoulder “She totally does” he said still in the ridiculous voice.

You two laughed a bit more and then found an agreement since you both were going to the party it would just be easier if you both closed up the shop.

“See you at the party (y/n), don’t get shitfaced now!” Hoseok teased as we got into our cars. “Please if anyone is getting drunk it’s you or Namjoon.” “You’re probably right” He smiled brightly, and from there you both drove to Naris place.

Luckily since you had to go to work, you dressed nicely. A pair of black ripped Jeans, a slightly oversized black shirt that said ‘NeverMind’, a simple white beanie and white hightop vans to match.

The house was a large two story white home on private land. Both of Naris parents are overseas at the moment for their company. The house was already flooded, and cars were starting to line the driveway. Loud music bombed from the entirety of the property. People were outside watching others on the ‘Keg stand’. That weird beer thing where people do a handstand and try to drink as much beer for as long as possible.

Oh boy. You thought as you stepped out of your black mazda6, Hoseok right behind you. “Don’t be nervous!” He slapped you on the back. “You’ll have fun”. You seriously doubted that, but regardless, you walked with him to the entrance and through the swarm of bodies.

As you entered the house, people were grinding on each other with red solo cups in their hands. Strobe lights flashed all throughout the house. The music was now so loud it felt as if your spine had vibrations going through it.

Making your way to the kitchen you found your best friend, you somehow lost Hoseok but you were honestly fine with it since he’s friends with pretty much everybody.

“Nari” You sighed in relief. “(y/n), you made it! I’m so glad!” She gave you a tight hug. Nari had on a skin tight red dress that made her boobs stand out. She paired it with a black velvet choker, and some red heels. “You trying to get laid? You look hot” You said and your best friend smiled. “Nope, just making sure guys know I’m not a snack” She gave a wink. Her beautiful long black hair framed her face and body nicely. She had a small frame but just enough curves. Her skin was pale, and she had big brown eyes. A lot of guys like her, and it’s easy to understand why.

“Let’s go dance (y/n)-”

“Hey Nari”

Both you and your friend turn around to find Namjoon, Yoongi, Seokjin, Jimin, Taehyung, Hoseok, and Jungkook. I almost puked and Nari almost melted, she has a thing for Namjoon.

“H-Hi” She stammered cutely. “Want to dance?” He asked, his voice deep and confident, but red stained his cheeks as he held out his hand. She quickly looked back at me asking for permission, her eyes desperate. How could I say no? I gave her a nod and she took his hand swiftly and led him to the dance floor.

“Shit” I cursed, completely forgetting there were 6 other guys in this kitchen.

“Ah! You’re the cute girl from earlier!” Taehyung exclaimed, making your eyes widen. “C-Cute?” You stuttered, a flush running over your cheeks. He gave a cute laugh and you wanted to bolt. “I didn’t think this was your scene.” Jungkook smirked. You wanted to slap him. “(y/n) right? I’m Yoongi we take the same music tech class.” He said, but of course you already knew who he was. “Hi” Jimin smiled, along Jungkook, he’s known as one of the hottest guys in school. “Don’t crowd the girl!” Seokjin exclaimed. “Okay mom~” Hoseok teased.

“Hi” You said quietly as all the boys stared at you, it was uncomfortable, and something you were not used to. You were that one quiet girl who sat in the back of the class with a book in her hand, the one who spent her free time studying. The ‘Teacher’s Pet’. Not the girl who goes to parties, and adding onto that getting noticed by a bunch of hot guys.

“(y/n) don’t be weird” Hoseok laughed and patted you on the back. You shot him a death glare. “So you’re name is (y/n), you’re so cute and small” Taehyung said, bending down to look at you better. Why does he keep calling me cute? This is so weird, Nari please save me from this hell.

“So, (y/n)” Jungkook saying your name sent shivers down your spine. “What?” You asked, no fake niceness in your voice. The others were taken aback except for Hoseok, he was used to it. “Get my number?” He asked, not wiping that ‘I know I’m irresistible’ smirk off his face. “Yep I did, and I threw it away. I don’t want it. I’ll pass, not smash. Thanks.” With that, you walked away leaving them all stumped. You ran up the stairs to Naris bedroom and shut the door locking it behind you.

Your face was burning bright red. What was that?! Why did I say that? What’s wrong with me, why can’t I just be a quiet girl that doesn’t stand out? Throwing yourself on the floor, you let your racing heart rest. You felt the steam rise from your face. This isn’t me.

“(y/n)! Get your ass out of my room and come have fun!” Nari’s voice came from the other side of the door. Very muted, but still audible. So quick! What the fuck does she have ninja senses? “Fuck no! I just embarrassed myself”. Suddenly her door was open and she came to my side. Wasn’t that door just locked?

“Telling off a fuckboy? Being a badass? Be proud! I’m proud!” You covered your face as she beamed at you. “Where’s Namjoon?” You peeked through your fingers, up at your friend. “He’s teasing Jungkook for getting rejected. Now, let’s make you look hot so he really gets pissed.”

“Oh hell no”

“Yep deal with it”

“But your clothes are revealing!”

“That’s the point!”

You fought with her till you was reduced to a pair of short black shorts, a white crop top, that was more of a bra if we’re being up front here, a black and gold choker, your beanie and shoes. She made you take your hair out, and straighten it. She put a dark reddish brown lipstick on you. Looking at yourself in the mirror you stared, mortified.

“I look like a whore” You shot her a death glance and all she gave you was a smile. “That top really shows off your baby abs” You were slightly athletic, running and core strengthening was about the extent you’d go to. “I don’t have abs, and I don’t want to be seen like this.” You hid your burning face. Too much skin was exposed.

“Just for one night, (y/n). Own it and be badass!” without even giving you time to respond, she grabbed your wrist with a surprising amount of strength and dragged your sorry ass down stairs.

You got some looks, mostly of shock. One of those shocked faces being a Hoseok and a Seokjin. Nari lead you through the pit of sweaty bodies, towards the middle. ‘Dance’ she mouthed, moving her hips and throwing her hair around to the erratic beat of the music. You slightly moved your hips, but you felt awkward, like everyone was looking at you. Nari rolled her eyes, grabbed your hands and started jumping up and down with you. “Go crazy and have fun!” She yelled over the insanely loud trap music.

Somehow, somewhere inside you, you hit the ‘fuck it’ button. So you did as she said, you moved your hips rhythmically, you tossed your hair side to side, and danced with your best friend. If you looked stupid? You couldn’t care less. You were on such a high, it was almost like the music was coursing through you and all you could do was move how it made you feel.

Suddenly someone's hands gripped around your waist. Quickly, you turned around and it was Jungkook. All the fun you were having? Gone. But, an idea popped in your head. “You don’t give up do you?” You yelled, still moving your hips to the beat, his hands still held firmly. “Not when I see something I like” He answered, tongue running over his glistening pink lips. He turned you around, your back against his hard chest as he grinded against you, you could feel his erection against your ass.

With a smirk, you turned standing on your tippy toes, wrapping your arms around his neck and brought your lips to his ear. “I’m not something you can have.” you whispered, while playing with the hairs close to the nape of his neck. With that you removed his hands and swayed back over to Nari, but you didn’t break eye contact with him. He looked dazed, confused, and most of all, really, really pissed.

The rest of the party was pretty much one fantastic blur, you and Nari just danced, had fun but then when everyone was going, you two collapsed on her bed.

“Finally everyone's gone” She weakly laughed “God I know” the both of you were tired, but she jumped up almost nearly as energetic as she was at the beginning of this party. Almost as if she was remembering something she was excited about.

“What was that with Jungkook?”

I really hope you enjoyed this chapter! I had a lot of fun writing it, please give me feed back. Also my requests are open so feel free to ask away!

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yourplasticlittlespastic · 5 years

Text

ᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴇʙ ᴏꜰ ʟᴏᴠᴇ -- Peter Parker fanfic (3/of many)

Part 1 Part 2

"I chopped you some fruit" Thor offers me a plastic bag and he sees me eyeing it confused "I couldn't find a proper container a'right? you better enjoy this... I'm going away for some time"

"thank you" I nudge his bicep and offer him a smile

At the car, I curiously googled Spider-Man just to see if there was something new, not at all. Maybe is one of those called 'heroes' that one day just disappear.

"Whatcha doin'" Happy asks looking at me through the mirror

"googling news about the Spider-Man"

"oh yeah, I checked some yesterday... " he casually says

"and?"

"mm nothing, but he looks like a modern Tarzan" he adds

"that's exactly what I'm thinking!" we laugh in sync and arrive at school "see you in some hours!"

Walk, walk, walk... Stares, stares, stares... This is how this year is going to be? When I finally open my locker, hundreds of photos fly all over, dragging everyone's attention to me, I lower myself trying to collect them all when a pair of hands pop beside helping me, I look up and it was Peter.

"what's all of this?" he curiously asks

"I really don't know.. I opened my locker and all of this pictures fell, they're not mine"

His hand grabs one picture and spin it around, the word "MURDERER" written all over it. I quickly snatch it and scan the other pictures... they are all about the accident at Sokovia, really disturbing pictures...

"Whoever did this, is trying to make a point" I mutter cleaning the floor and standing up. Peter following me.

"yeah but they're not proving it, you are not a murderer," he says with a small smile

I give him a sympathetic smile and unconsciously squeeze his shoulder "has anyone told you that you dress like an old man?"

"mmm thanks? I mean if that's your thing okay.." he catches how I want to change the subject

"no!!" I slap his chest and a bubbly chuckle escapes his lips "ready for economics?"

"oh! my books! my locker is at the other hallway" he starts walking backwards and accidentally crashes into some girls "sorry! sorry! see you at the classroom"

At Economics, Peter and I fought to answer what the Teacher was asking so we were stealing each other turns, then we walk to Algebra. This year the school divides students into their respective levels. Lists were glued to the wall and I squint my eyes searching for my name, obviously, I wasn't in Basics nor Intermediate, I skim the advanced level but I'm not there

"I'm not in any class..." I frown looking at Peter

"yeah me neither" Peter peeks his head trying to find a teacher

"it's because here are the other ones, there's a new class that was opened for request" Morita walks behind us pasting a list besides the others

"request from who?" Peter asks confused

Morita glares at him "the Board Mr. Parker" he leaves and I read the list

The name of the class is Algebra P.R.O (Practice, Reenforce, and Optimization for future professionals) Jesus, who invented that name.

"guess we are Pro" I turn to Peter who's skimming the list

"oh, no..." he whispers

"what? you cheated on your exams?" I snort

"No... Liz Toomes is there" he says with a terrorized face

"yeah, she's smart?" I point and see his face crumbling "ohhhh I see, you like her Peter" I whisper at him

He then touches both of my shoulders looking down at me because he's taller "no one must know, please"

"of course not..." I don't have anyone to tell, except Happy but he doesn't give a flying potato for high school gossip "act cool, relax Peter"

All the class, Peter was avoiding contact with Liz, I look at her, she's pretty and smart, she's going to kick ass like me one day. In the end, I had Ethics, nothing important just Plato and Socrates, then I ate my lunch in my usual spot. At P.E. I'm a badass, Steve taught me some moves and how to run without breaking into pieces and also my daily exercise helps me.

"Aren't you tired, Tannie?!?!" Ned shouts in agony trying to do a crunch while Peter helps him

"a little but it feels good" I mentally count 50 and I stop trying to soothe my breathing, I crawl to the mat they are working out "let me tell you, Steve, I mean, Captain America helped me train" when I said it both of their faces change to the best scene I've ever seen

"You're the coolest chick ever!!!" Ned shouts even louder "okay cool no more crunches I'm going to sit right over there" he spins landing on the floor

"So umm... how is living with the Avengers," Peter asks while sitting on the floor "I can totally see myself texting with Captain America"

"HA!" I snort too hard "no way, he hates mobile phones trust me and he is waaaay behind pop culture, I'm just explaining to him who are the Kardashians, he thought it was a music genre"

Peter then starts laughing "unbelievable but well... after all, you are Tony Stark's daughter"

I sigh "sometimes is the best thing, sometimes is a nightmare" With a grunt I stand up "I'm heading to the changing lockers... see you at English!"

----------------Flashback at Stark's Expo 2010 (Iron Man 2)-----------

"Mommy where's Daddy?" I scan the area but he's not there

"he's working baby, he's fine, he'll be with us sooner than we expect" she palms my back and walks faster to the entrance

"Are you coming with us?" A police officer asks my mom eyeing me as well

"No, I'm gonna stay until to park is clear" she nods and I let my eyes observe what I used to think it was the best Expo of all times

All I can see was people running, some people tearing up and a lot of fire

"Baby... are you sure you want to stay with me?" my mom questions me and I tighten my grip

"Yeah, we'll be okay mom" I smile at her and she sighs just waiting for my dad to appear

Little did I know that the robots spread throughout the expo will be exploding all around us...

What a tremendous feeling for a nine-year-old. The uncertainty of not knowing if my dad will survive and return safe and sound to me. The images of drones flying all over and people injured was part of the nightmare of being Tony Stark's daughter.

------------------end of Flashback-------------

"Listen, everyone! the class is not dismissed until I say so!" the teacher exclaims but fails when everyone starts rushing out of the classroom

"see you at the club?" I ask Peter

"Yes! yesterday uh, I couldn't come because...I..." he pauses thinking of an excuse and I roll my eyes

"it's okay Peter I know why you didn't come" I naturally say and he abruptly stops staring at me

"what? like...how?He gnaws his bottom lip and his pupils dilate

"yeah... come on, it was the introduction to the club, we didn't do anything and it was so boring. I actually wanted to skip it too"

He longly sighs and scratches his neck "Oh my God yeah! you already know my secret hehe" He then starts walking and we enter to the classroom

The first hour we just made a huge list of materials we would need at this course, then we all put the benches in a middle circle and the presentation of previous works begin. And yes Morita was right, three people built Automathic back scratchers.

"thank you, Tyler!" Chung chrips "well now...Tannie Stark please" everyone claps and I turn to Peter who is nodding at me

"okay well... Ummm I built it this in summer break- I say opening a bag and taking out the robot

-ohhhhhh- everyone awes

"its name is EMMA... and it's for Emergency Machine. This is a medium size but my idea is to make it bigger because it's designed for yeah....emergencies such as fires, floods, earthquakes, and daily accidents. It includes a complete first aid kit inside this part of the belly and its operative system is built on a normal binary algorithm, my wish is that once I perfect it... there is at least one in every building of New York and then of all the country"

The claps emerge, mingling in loud cheering. I nod knowing I killed it.

"This is amazing Tannie! we weren't expecting less!" Taylor Chung claps walking to awkwardly palm my back

When the bell rang announcing that the second day was over, I quickly pick up my stuff and stroll to the exit

"hey! wait!" Peter then approaches me "before you go, let me tell you that if I was rich I would totally invest in your emergency machines" He flashes a toothy smile, kinda cute...

I snort and offer my hand "A pleasure doing business with you Parker" I shake hands with him

"so I was thinking that we could uh... trade phone numbers just in case we need help with homework?"

"sure! just...don’t share it with others" I hand him my phone and I take his

"no! of course, no" he writes his number on my phone and I do the same on his "here, ready"

"cool, text you later I suppose..." I walk to the car while throwing my hone into my backpack but suddenly I crash with someone "Oh... sorry!"

"ha no sorry, I was a little confused and lost...this is a big school," A really tall guy with messy blonde hair and blue eyes purses his lips at me

I snort "I think you arrived a little bit later, classes finished for today"

"oh no! I'm here to turn in some papers, tomorrow I'll be early though"

A horn booms all over the street, I turn to look at the owner of the car... figure... it's Happy

"desperate much?" the boy mutters "well I need to..."

"Yeah, sure! mmm I need to go as well, see you soon...?" I shyly wave goodbye at him and quickly enter the car

"since when you are so desperate Happy?" I huff

"since when you are so unpunctual Tannie?" he fires back making me stick my tongue out at him

---------------------

"what if I alter this part?" I move the hologram of a new model of a robot I'm building

"let me recalibrate the function T" FRIDAY says while I write down some notes "the system is operating normally with a minus 5% of failure"

"really? that's great! let's make it minus 30% shall we?" I grin feeling the ambition and excitement rushing through my body

"I am a genius" I whisper to myself

"And I am the genius who created the genius" obviously, my dad says entering the lab "did you check the fusils?"

"yes"

"the code of chips and the binary set?"

"yes!"

"what about the part underneath the-"

"the fourth and sixth compartment of the first box of cables... yes dad I did" I sigh

"uuuhh you are on fire kid!" he happily claps "here, a gift for you" He hands me an empty carton box

"Oh my god, I wanted this, you know it's the last edition?!" I excitedly chirp

"very funny, but I wanted to tell you that next month we are moving"

"wait what? I thought that the others were uh the only ones moving...?"

"yep, we are taking our shi...I mean, our things and we are moving them to a new place where we are going to live" he explains it as if I was dumb

"what about the tower? it's a clean energy-powered skyscraper dad" I move to table to turn the hologram off

"I know, I designed it... but the place we are moving to is better trust me... I'm surprised Steve hasn't told you about it..."

"where? Brooklyn?" I huff

"nope, a little far away up north but you'll love it! it's like our Disneyland T" he grabs my shoulder playfully shaking me

"okay dad...actually I don't care if we live in a small cabin or in a big mansion... as long as we are together" I warmly smile at him but he crunches his nose

"that's too corny T" he walks to the door "there are more boxes at the entrance ok? bye bye"

My dad's interruption cut off my inspiration so I take some boxes and begin putting the things I use less and marking the boxes, it took me some hours and then I went to the kitchen and turn the TV on, it was my mom who was live on a press conference about Stark Industries, I make a quick dinner and I eat it silence until my phone rings, a message notification emerge.

I lock my phone and prepare to sleep but before my room, I hear someone opening a door in the main hallway, I take a knife and prepare myself to attack when I spot it was only Vision.

"you scared me!" I touch my heart in a dramatic manner

"Sorry Miss Stark, not my intention" his British accent and the politeness makes me wrinkle my nose

I walk around the kitchen island "please Vision, call me Tannie or just T"

"very well, 'just T '" he proudly smiles knowing he just joked with me "I'm just taking Wanda's boxes to the new place"

"oh sure, go on" From the corner of my eyes I see how he walks but stops seconds later

"you know, you should probably check the third box of the second box of cables at your robot, that'll give you a minus 45% of failure," he says and then walks away

I quickly blink and immediately go to the I+D floor where the lab is, I then spent 3 hours working and I remember sitting on the floor, closing my eyes and sleeping

A/N: hope you liked it! Also available in Wattpad! https://my.w.tt/sw2CZNdCv1 .

#peterparker #peter parker x reader #spider-man #spiderman #tomholland #tonystark #marvel #marvelcinematicuniverse #Marvelfanfic #fanfic #wattpad fanfic #tumblr fanfic #civil war #Avengers #midtown #steverogers #pepperpotts

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wordsandshawn · 8 years

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Anchor

Vulnerable Shawn based off of the first line of Running Low: Weeks on end I’m on the road / Start to lose my sense of home / But not based on the song in its entirety. It’s not a breakup imagine, not in the slightest.

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~~~

Your phone vibrating on the desk in front of you forces you to look up from your physics notes. Shawn’s name is on the screen, and you hesitate for a moment, but only a moment before you snatch your phone off the desk and speedily walk out of the library, leaving your friends and your books behind. Shawn knew you were studying at the library tonight because you had been texting him earlier. He usually respects your study time, and anytime he knows you’re doing something. He’ll text you randomly even if you’re busy, but he usually only calls you if something is important. You both have busy schedules and are very understanding of the fact that there are certain days you have to be content with just a few text messages throughout the entirety of the day.

“Hello?” You answer as soon as you step out into the cool nighttime air.

“Hi y/n.” Comes his reply, and you wonder if there is something wrong, although if there is, he’s not saying it right away because he lets a moment of silence hang between you after he greets you.

So you speak, “Hey baby, what’s going on?”.

He exhales loudly on the other side of the phone, so loudly that you can hear it on your end. You can tell that he’s frustrated or exhausted or something, but you don’t know right away exactly what his emotions are at the moment. “I just miss you, I need you here with me. ” He responds.

“I miss you too, and we’ll be together soon.” You say, wondering if this is the only reason he called. “Are you okay?” You question, trying to figure out what’s going on with him. Him missing you isn’t new, and you understand how he feels because you miss him too, but you’re wondering if there is something else on his mind.

“Yeah, I just—it’s been a while since I’ve been home.”

“Yeah,” You say simply, your way of encouraging him to continue. You want to know what’s wrong, but you don’t want to push or pry because you know he’ll tell you everything when he’s ready.

“Tour just kind of messes with my head sometimes, you know, messes with my sense of home.”

You don’t really know, because you’d never spent more than a couple of weeks on tour with Shawn, and even when you traveled with him, you weren’t the one that everyone wanted something from. You weren’t the one who had to be up early for radio interviews and on stage every night. If you were with Shawn on tour and you didn’t want to wake up, you didn’t have to. If you wanted to go to sleep early, you could, but he couldn’t just do that.

“You only have a few more weeks left of tour, hun.” You gently remind him, your way of letting him know that it will all come to an end soon.

“I know. I love tour, I mean, you know that.” He responds, and you know he’s just trying to figure out a way to put his thoughts into words, and you want to give him the space he needs to do that, while still being there to support him.

“I do.”

“But it’s just hard. I feel like I’m floating, like I’m not really living, and I think its just because it’s been so long since I’ve been home. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you.”

“You’ll be back home with me so soon, Shawn.” You try to reassure him, but even you’re starting to doubt everything now. You’re starting to wonder if he’s really going to be okay.

“It’s not soon enough, y/n.” He responds, and you’re scared he’s about to break down. That’s one of the worst things about being so far from him. The moments like this, when things start to become too much, when he really needs you, but you’re not even on the same continent.

“Baby, just hold on.” You tell him. It’s the only thing you can do. You can only use your words to try to make him feel better, and you just have to hope that it is enough.

“I need you. I need to hold you in my arms. You bring me back down when i feel like this. You’re my anchor.” The desperation in his voice is so evident, and your heart nearly breaks at the sound.

“Shawny, just three more weeks. And until then, you know that I’m always a phone call away. See? I’m right here, I’ll talk to you. Whenever you need me, i’m here.” You try to reassure him, but you have the feeling that it isn’t going to be enough this time.

“It’s not the same.” His voice comes out in nearly a whisper, and you hate to admit that he’s completely right. You don’t know what to say to this. “I need you, y/n. I know I’m not going to make it through the next three weeks if I don’t get to see you. Please come?” He asks, and you know that there is no way you’re going to say no. Normally, you’d think about things like how much money it would cost to fly out to meet Shawn, and about the obligations that you have committed to at your University that you really shouldn’t miss. However, after hearing those two words from Shawn, hearing the desperation in his voice and knowing how much he really needs you, suddenly none of those details matter.

You take a second to think through everything, but only a brief second, knowing that Shawn put himself out there and allowed himself to be so vulnerable in front of you, and you want to make sure that he feels safe in his vulnerability and transparency because that is what a relationship is about. When he’s hurting, even if he can’t explain it exactly, he knows that you’re there for him. And it works the same the other way too, he’s been there for you so many times when you couldn’t even express your hurt and sadness. Even though you’ve both been vulnerable in front of the other throughout the course of your relationship many times, it still means a lot to you. And it is especially not easy when you’re talking over the phone. You can’t be there in person to reassure him, and he can’t see the care and concern in your eyes. You don’t want him to even question that you care and that you’re willing to do what it takes to be there for him when he really needs you, because he really needs you right now. “Okay, I’ll come.” You tell him, still trying to think through the logistics of everything. “I have a physics exam tomorrow, but I can skip my afternoon class. And Friday I don’t have classes. And I’ll cancel my weekend plans.” You say, thinking through everything as you speak.

He absorbs your words, then responds, “No—no,” He’s backtracking now, you’re not surprised, but you don’t want that. He continues, “Baby, I’m sorry I asked. I know you have things to do. I know you should be studying right now. I can make it three weeks, yeah.” He says, sounding like he’s trying to convince himself.

“No, Shawn. I’m coming. I love you, you hear me? And if you need me, then I’m coming.” You say matter-of-factly so that he won’t protest anymore.

“You have a life. I know that, and I love that about you. I love that you have your own things going on. I know I can’t let my chaos and crazy life take over yours because that’s not fair.”

“Shawn, my stuff this weekend isn’t a big deal. I can move it. And I want to see you too.” You reassure him. You need to see him as much as he needs to see you now because you need to make sure that he’s okay.

He doesn’t argue any longer, so you know just how much he needs you there. “Okay, I’ll book you a ticket, what time can you leave at the earliest?” He questions.

“I can book it myself, Shawn. What airport am I supposed to fly into?” You question in response.

“No, let me. I’m paying for it.” He insists.

You consider arguing, but you realize it is probably a fight you won’t win, and as much as you’d like to stand outside talking to Shawn all night, you know you should head back inside to study for your exam. “I can leave after 1 in the afternoon.”

“Okay, I’ll text you when I make the reservation. I can’t wait to see you.” He tells you, and you can even hear that he’s already feeling better, just by the sound of his voice. You can’t wait to finally be with him, to be in his arms, to get to make sure he really is okay, because that’s all that matters to you.

“I love you, Shawny, just hold on, and I’ll see you so soon.”

“See you soon, my love. Good luck studying tonight, I know you’re going to do great tomorrow.”

#I've always loved the first line of running low #and the emotion in his voice when he sings it #been writing a lot of caring and protective shawn lately #which i love #but i thought it was time for some vulnerable shawn #so here ya go #enjoy #shawn mendes #imagine #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes imagine #vulnerable shawn

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