#how am I supposed to focus in group
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spaceumbredoggos · 4 months ago
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It’s in stock in every other target sans the one in my town. I go across the county for group and social security. I hope it’ll still be in stock when I am done in social security. Can I put one on hold and pay for it when I get there? I’ll find out.
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wellthatschaotic · 1 month ago
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don't just sit around waiting for a radioactive animal to bite you. take the initiative. fuck the uranium
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timeisacephalopod · 1 year ago
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Admittedly I don't know much about the Israel Palestine war but I keep seeing news articles that refer to it as the Israel Hamas war and no it is not. After all Israel has done it gets to be referred to by it's country name and not "terrorists who kill babies and children at the speed of light" but Palestine gets reduced to Hamas?
It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth that the struggle of the Palestinian people keeps getting reduced to the existence of Hamas, but at no point does the ongoing state violence of Israel define its existence when by all means it should when my understanding is that the creation of Israel was stealing land from Palestinians. Why is Israel's violence ignored while Palestine is defined by the admittedly shit group that only arose out of decades of occupation and imperialism? Those two things are not the same and ignoring Israel's violence to act like Hamas came from nowhere just to hurt the poor Israeli government who acts like they've done nothing wrong is ridiculous to me.
#winters ramblings#a Palestinian coworker gave me some emails to send off things to so ill be doing that later#but like it just BUGS me when people will over focus on the REACTION to state violence and never ONCE bring up state violence#AS violence at all. also what israel is doing reminds me a LOOOOOT of what canada has done to your indigenous populations#so yes hamas suck ive seen some shit but heres the deal. im not as concerned about how much HAMAS sucks#when the EXISTENCE of hanas is the result if DECADES of ISRAEL'S state violence. what were Palestinians meant to DO??#just allow their homes to be stolen their people to be killed and their resources extracted with NO fighting back ever??!?#i dont feel the need to focus on how shitty Hamas is when this reactionary group wouldnt exist without the extreme violence#from israel that RESULTED in a deeply problematic group fighting back against them#you CANNOT step on the necks of a whole nation of people and expect them to do NOTHING#and when what they do is deeply flawed and often hurtful am i supposed to just IGNORE everything that led up to Hamas#by pretending state violence isnt NEARLY as bad as traumatized people fighting back against their oppressors??#like NO- state violence should be FRONT AND CENTER LOOOONG before any reactionary response to that violence#which if you ask me may be a deeply flawed and problematic response but im not expecting the people of an occupied nation#to be giving their best political performance and acting like we SHOULD just SMACKS of respectability politics#shut the FUCK up about Hamas and LOOK at what israel has DONE to the Palestinian people and FREE PALESTINE DAMNIT
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hella1975 · 2 years ago
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I AM NOT BRAVE I COULD SO EASILY BE UNABASHEDLY MYSELF IN EVERY WEIRD CRINGEY WAY AND SURROUND MYSELF WITH SIMILAR PEOPLE BUT I JUST DONT IM SO SCARED OF WHAT PEOPLE THINK AND I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY LIKE IVE NEVER KNOWN ANYTHING BAD TO COME OF BEING MYSELF SO WHY AM I SO TERRIFIED OF IT IM SO SICK OF WAITING FOR LIKE-MINDED PEOPLE TO COME MY WAY BECAUSE THAT'S NOT FAIR WE ARE ALL SO DISGUSTED BY OURSELVES AND I WANT TO BE THE PERSON THAT CAN BE THEMSELF SO SHAMELESSLY THAT OTHER PEOPLE CAN TOO BUT I JUST CANT BECAUSE IM NOT BRAVE AND I FEAR I NEVER WILL BE anyway im going grocery shopping does anyone want anything
#could claw my skin off with how angry i make myself like this cowardice goes against everything in me#goes against how i was raised goes against what i believe and yet here i am so terrified of my peer group and FOR WHAT#I DONT EVEN LIKE MOST OF THEM ARE YOU JOKING#if you ever think about starting a family i beg you dont do it in a small town it will CRIPPLE your child the shame will not leave#like???? NOTHING is stopping me from dressing how i want and talking about what i want and sharing my interests#BUT I JUST DONT DO IT#IM PERPETUALLY WAITING FOR AN ENVIRONMENT SUITED TO ME#LIKE UNI WAS SUPPOSED TO BE WHEN I WAS TRULY MYSELF AND I HAVENT DONE THAT#SO IM LIKE 'OH OKAY IVE STILL GOT THE REST OF MY LIFE TO FIND SOMEWHERE'#AND THAT'S TRUE BUT I FUCKING HATE THAT ATTITUDE LIKE THAT IS NOT MY KIND OF ATTITUDE#im not just gonna hole away and wait for everything else to be fixed for me FUCK THAT#BUT IM SO SCARED OF EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE#and the worst part is the friends i have rn would probably not even give a fuck#like yeah id probably not be as close with some of them bc they just wouldnt get it#but the MAJORITY would be supportive bc these are genuinely the best friends ive ever had#and i would MAKE MORE FRIENDS THAT *DID* GET IT BY PUTTING MYSELF IN ENVIRONMENTS I ENJOYED#like if i joined book clubs to talk about fantasy or started courses to talk about writing (i am gonna focus on this a lot after uni tbh)#or if i just interacted with just genuinely cringey shit irl that i ENJOY but i WONT and it pisses the fuck out of me#like i used to feel such genuine fear for the weird kids at school bc i could see the torment they would be faced with#but out of the two of us i was significantly more pathetic in my shitty 15+ girl group going to parties#and getting traumatised to fit in. i loved it at the time dont get me wrong i thought i was hot shit#but like. why am i still so scared of what my 16 y/o hometown girl group would think#i dont even LIKE those bitches COME OFF IT LMFAO even my CURRENT hometown friend group didnt like them#bc even THEY let themselves be more authentic at school it was literally just me being a coward#like i'll slag off my hometown group til the cows come home bc they're Not Great but in secondary school i didnt even SPEAK to those girls#and sure it was a big school but to not be able to remember a time i spoke to them even once in five years?#is that something to be proud of? is that the girl i still want to embody? are we seriously still fucking doing this?#and i have the nerve to let everyone think im the strong one of the group. gtfo im so fucking mad about this#hella goes home
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star-sim · 9 months ago
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boy's night ☆ riki nishimura
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☆ summary: riki had no game, no rizz, which was why he employed the help of his six friends to text you. warning: having seven boys on the phone trying to text a girl does not give good results! ☆ genre: fluff, all enhypen members make an appearance, boys being boys, very stupid, it's getting rizzy in here but clearly i have negative game ☆ warning(s)? no just silliness :3 ☆ word count: 1.7k words
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"Oh my god, she texted me!" was the sentence that completely destroyed Jake Sim's house.
Tonight, Riki was having a sleepover at Jake's house. It was supposed to be a chill night, a night in which Riki could bask in his friends' presence before they went off to college again.
There were many perks to being the youngest in his friend group. It seemed like Heeseung, Jay, and Jake forever saw him as their baby, after all, when they all met as children, Riki was a snotty little four year-old, constantly tattling on the older boys. Regardless, it was nearly impossible for them to not fuss over him, constantly asking if he ate yet or if he needed help. Sunghoon teased the ever-living shit out of Riki, sure, but the older boy never hesitated to take Riki's side whenever there was an argument. Sunoo and Jungwon were closest to Riki in age, but that didn't stop them from watching over him closely, like mother cats stalking their cubs.
Though, there was one thing that Riki had to admit that he hated about being the youngest: he was the most inexperienced.
Whenever his friends got their 'firsts,' he was always too young to care. It seemed like all his friends got to experience their first crushes and heartbreaks almost simultaneously, only for them to not be there when Riki had his.
Even when he was now a senior in high school, he had absolutely no idea how to talk to girls.
He'd heard all the stories about Heeseung and his antics at college, all the flirting tips that Jake liked to give out to Sunghoon and Jay, and all the crazed texts that Sunoo and Jungwon sent as they went through relationships.
Even so, Riki had never experienced teenage love for himself.
Enter: You.
You were the cute girl that sat in front of him in his Macroeconomics class. If it wasn't for the fact that Riki absolutely hated Macro, he would blame the fact that you were just so pretty that he couldn't bring himself to focus on the lecture about the New York Stock Exchange.
Initially, Riki had no intention of pursuing you.
You were cute, obviously, but hearing you talk to your partner in class was enough for him. Plus, it wasn't like Riki had any experience— even if he wanted to talk to you, he had no idea how to!
Except, thanks to his nosy friends, your name had been discussed what felt like a million times by the end of the week.
"So... [Name], eh?" was the first thing Sunghoon said as Riki's camera turned on during their weekly weekend FaceTime calls.
"This is so exciting, Riki," Heeseung said as he joined the call.
"Wait, how do you know her again?" Sunoo's voice cut in. "Sorry, my Wi-Fi is bad. You said you know her from Macro?"
With a little more prying, his friends managed to get a middle-school level confession out of Riki.
"I-I just think she's really pretty, and like, she's really smart," Riki huffed, "I don't think she likes me like that— I've never even spoken to her! Like, I can't talk to women, I straight up am a mess and the other day—oh my god— she looked at me and I think I almost passed out. What do I do? I actually cannot do thi—
".... But you think she's pretty, right?"
And that's how Riki managed to get your phone number. With the help of his friends (that felt more like them feeding into his delusions), he worked up the courage to stutter out a simple question.
And when you smiled, nodding enthusiastically as you typed your contact into his phone, Riki felt his soul leave his body.
So, it wasn’t hard to imagine the havoc that engulfed Jake Sim's house (the place of the sleepover) as Riki's phone pinged, your contact name showing up.
It was already late at night, so the boys were raiding Jake's pantry to get midnight snacks. 
The moment that Riki announced that you had just, in fact, texted him first, everyone stopped in their tracks.
"Oh shit!" Jay shouted as he jumped over Jake's sofa, bowl of cereal still in hand.
The sound of crashing as Heeseung knocked over the ramen cups, as well as cutlery dropping abruptly and cabinets slamming filled the house.
"Oi, don't mess up my kitchen!" Jake yelled as his feet pounded against his stairs, scrambling so fast that he practically glided downstairs. After Jungwon spilled milk on his shirt, he was half-way through putting on a new shirt as he clambered down.
"What did she—" Sunoo pushed Jay out of the way, knocking the older boy over as he plopped down next to Riki on the living room carpet and peeked over his shoulder— "What did she say?!"
Within seconds, all six of his friends were huddled around Riki, pushing each other out of the way to catch a glimpse of what you said.
"Move your fatass head!"
"I can't see!"
As his friends argued, Riki stared at his phone, chewing on his bottom lip. His heart was pounding in his chest. He only saw the notification, and didn't see what you said yet.
What if you said something crazy, like "I just found out about that one time in first grade when you peed yourself at the playground" even though Riki and all his friends agreed to never speak of that incident again?! Or, what if you confessed your everlasting love for him in a long paragraph?
His head was spinning.
"Wait, did you open the message yet?!" Jungwon abruptly yelled into Riki's ear.
"No..." Riki answered slowly, watching the way all of his friends' once tense faces soften with relief.
"Oh my god," Jake sighed in relief.
"Phhhhheeewww!" Heeseung said dramatically.
"Why?" Riki frowned. "What's wrong with opening the message?"
"[Name] can see if you read her message if you open it," Sunghoon said matter-of-factly. 
"Why is that a bad thing?"
All of his friends groaned.
They taught him a trick: swipe just enough so that he could see the message, but not enough that the system marks it as read.
Hey, was all you said, much to Riki's relief.
"What do I say?" Riki asked, clutching his phone. His eyes flickered to his friends as he sucked his bottom lip under his teeth pensively. "How do I respond to this?"
"Just say 'hey' back!" Jay blurted.
"No!" Heeseung shook his head profusely. "Anything but that!"
"Why not? You want him to say haiiii instead?" Sunghoon nudged the older boy.
"No, no, no!" Jungwon reached across to smack Sunghoon's knee. "All of you are wrong."
Jungwon turned to Riki. "Just respond with an emoji."
They all groaned loudly.
"Okay, anything but a goddamn emoji!"
Riki ended up typing out a simple hey in response. He had to make Sunoo press send for him, squeezing his eyes shut. Riki immediately shut his phone off, placing it face down.
"I don't want to see if she responds or not!" Riki moaned. 
Within a minute or two, his phone pinged again.
"She responded!"
Even though you only asked, How was your day?, the entire house was once again invigorated. The boys shrieked, whooping and hitting Riki's shoulder, so loud that the house probably shook.
"Oh my god, it's happening!"
"Ouuuuu, she wants you, Riki!"
"Everyone shut the fuck up, it's time to lock in, oh my god it's actually happening—"
And just as everyone settled back down, ready to give Riki their mind-blowing advice, his phone dinged again.
[Attachment: 1 photo]. It was a silly picture of you, one of those cute ones that showed your eyes, clearly taken on the spot. 
"OHHHHHHHHHH!"
"Shewantsyousobadohmygo—"
According to Jake, if a girl sends you a picture of herself, no matter how silly or cute it is, she is head over heels for you.
"One message at a time!" Jay yelled over Jake's shoulder as they tried to figure out how to respond. "You need to answer her question first and then respond to the picture!"
"No! Don't respond to the picture!" Sunghoon, who was all the way in the guest bathroom, yelled from behind the bathroom door, his voice both booming and muffled. "She'll think you're weird!"
"I agree," Sunoo said.
"I agree," Jungwon mocked him in a nasally voice, earning a slap to the shoulder. "Just heart the picture!"
But their arguing fell upon deaf ears.
"Riki, what are you doing?!"
Riki was on his own, his heart beating at the tip of his fingers.
I hung out with my friends today and it was fun, how was yours? was his first response. Pressing on the picture, he responded, You look cute.
When Riki glanced over at his friends, they were sprawled across the floor, crying aloud dramatically.
"It's over."
"You're insane."
"Fumbled."
Riki threw a pillow at them. "I didn't fumble— Oh shoot, she's typing!"
The house was once again filled with screaming and crashing as they scampered to Riki's side.
You typed for a few moments. Everyone was at the edge of their seat, simply begging to see how you'd respond. But then, you stopped.
"Good game, guys."
"100% over."
Riki chewed on his thumb, his eyes glued to his phone screen. Did he creep you out? Was it weird for him to say that you looked cute? Did he fuck up?
But then you finally replied.
My day was just filled with homework, very boring, you replied. Maybe if I spent it with you it would have been more fun.
Oh.
My.
God.
Riki's hands shook as he typed back another response, completely ignoring the complete and utter disaster around him. He didn't know what came over him. He wouldn't say any of the things that he typed out loud, let alone to your face. It was like he was possessed by some spirit that gave him the courage to type. Without even noticing it, his heart was palpitating in his chest, his entire face, neck, and ears covered in a red shade.
I'm free tomorrow, he typed. 
"RIKI WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU—"
Okay, you simply responded. 12PM. The Block. Let's have fun.
"D-Did she just ask you out?"
Riki glanced at this phone, then at his friends, who stared at him with eyes as wide as saucers and their jaws dropped to the floor, then back at his phone. He blinked. "Yeah."
"Yes?!"
Riki blinked again. "Yeah."
.
.
.
And then it hit him.
"Oh my god, [Name] asked me out...!"
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deputyrook · 14 days ago
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In Her Absence: Lucanis/Rook/Spite.
A03 link! Female Crow Rook x Lucanis. Lucanis POV.
Takes place when Rook is in the fade prison, because 1) I love angst and am a big softie; and 2) I wanted to try to work out the logistics of what the team did in Rook's absence, and how they managed to reach her.
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In the four days that Rook’s been gone, the Veilguard has devolved completely into infighting.
Taash wants to know why they can’t just “break into the fade and pull her out.” And no one really wants to hear Emmrich’s overly technical explanation as to why that’s not feasible, least of all Taash, who’s grieving and angry. Davrin keeps saying that it should have been him instead, which isn’t helping, and no one even wants to think about what’s happening to Bellara right now. 
Harding is dead. Bellara is kidnapped by Elgar’nan and Maker knows where. They’re a mess as a group, angry and hurting. And Rook...
Rook’s gone.
Neve is the only person who remotely has their shit still together, and for that at least, Lucanis is thankful. 
Because he absolutely does not have his shit together. Maybe the others can’t tell, since he’s not arguing or yelling or breaking down, but his thoughts are spiralling so badly that he’s barely said a word in three days. All he can think about is Rook.
He loves her. He loves her. And she’s lost somewhere, trapped and alone, and they have no plan whatsoever on how they’re going to get her back. 
He never told her. It’s tearing him up inside. The thought that he might never hear her voice again. Never hear her make some stupid pun, or hear her teasing, or hear her give them all one of her legendary pep talks. Never hear her laugh again-
“Lucanis,” Neve’s voice is firm, dragging him out of his despondency, “You need to focus.” 
How can he possibly focus? “You’re right,” he says instead, voice tight, because Neve is right. Standing around brooding isn’t getting them any closer to getting Rook back. What he needs to do is act- but how?
Solas is a God, and even he couldn’t break out of that prison. This isn’t the kind of problem Lucanis can solve with a dagger. He can’t stab at the prison walls until they crumble away- but Maker knows if that could work, he would stab until his daggers shattered and his body collapsed. 
What is he supposed to do? What can he do? How can he help them, when all he knows how to do is kill things?
No. Spite says to his left, his voice hard and determined, No! We will find Rook. Won’t leave them there. 
Neve puts a hand on his shoulder, and gives it a squeeze. 
“When has Rook ever been content to sit and wait to be rescued?” Neve says, and he lets out a long, even exhale, because it’s exactly what he needs to hear. “I’m worried too. But Rook would chew off her own leg to escape a trap. If there’s a way to get out, she’ll find it. Have some faith in her. In all of us- and in yourself.”
“Thank you,” he murmurs, voice quiet. After a moment, he adds, “…Someone should let Viago and Teia know.”
That, at least, is a burden he can bear. 
But the days stretch into weeks. Elgar’nan seizes control of an already broken Minrathous, and even Neve has a hard time keeping herself together after that one. 
Lucanis is in no place to offer comfort. Without Rook’s leadership and steadfast optimism, the lighthouse has gone dark, leaving them all ships to smash into a rocky coast. He won’t soon forget the way Viago’s eyes widened when he told him what had happened to Rook, nor the look of horror that flashed across his face before his expression settled into stony devastation. 
Strangely, it’s Spite that keeps him from falling apart completely. He refuses to accept that Rook is gone. Every time that Lucanis’ mind whispers to him that this happened because he wasn’t good enough, and that he’ll never see Rook smile at him again- Spite cuts him off with an angry, defiant hiss of NO. 
Rook is strong. Rook is smart! Rook will not allow herself to die in a prison. She would not let you die in prison, either. We will not let her. We will find her. We will find her!
He repeats the words in his own head, holding onto them like a buoy. Right, yeah. She’s good at prison breaks. It’s enough to make it through the day.
Sometimes- although Lucanis would never admit it to the others- he realizes that Spite is the one who has been moving his body,  keeping him working while he’s been stuck in his mind, ruminating and aching with missing her. It’s been Spite that’s forcing him to eat, to bathe, to sleep. Spite is keeping him alive. 
Will not let you do this to us. Rook needs us.
It’s that thought that ultimately gets Lucanis to snap out of his despair. 
It’s not over yet. He agrees, finally. Rook needs us. 
Finally! Spite snaps back.
---
First, they try to make a copy of the dagger. Something that will be able to slice through the fade prison, so that they can cut Rook out of it. That’s how Solas left, after all- by tricking her, and stealing the dagger to cut himself free. 
But a dagger of pure lyrium isn’t exactly easy to replicate. Brilliant as they are, Emmrich and Neve can only do so much. So after days of meticulous work, they end up with a dagger that looks identical to the real thing, but doesn’t actually work. Great.
Next, Emmrich hypothesizes that in order to get to Rook in the fade, they��ll not only need to figure out how to access the fade prison, but also to figure out where the prison actually is, physically within the fade.
It is, apparently, not as simple as yelling out “ROOK? CAN YOU HEAR US?” from the top of the Lighthouse, which has been Taash’s strategy. Spite, too, is ready to start just travelling through the fade, for as long and as far as he needs to until he finds her. Lucanis is doing what he can to support the group, cooking the meals and making sure Emmrich and Neve are able to stay on their feet.
Word gets to them that Solas is in Minrathous, keeping the rebellion alive. The news poisons Lucanis so thoroughly with hate that he nearly can’t stomach it. Spite has been so determined to save Rook that Lucanis almost forgot how it felt when he was really, truly spiteful. 
Hearing Solas is pretending to be a hero in Tevinter, after consigning Rook to take his place in a prison? Yeah. That’ll do it. The things he’d wanted to do to Illario after his betrayal had left him conflicted. He is not remotely conflicted about what he wants to do about Solas.
What they want to do. Spite agrees with him on this one. He hurt our Rook.
Finally, Emmrich and Neve work out a real plan, with the help of the Veil Jumpers. It’s based largely on luck, but it’s something. It’s a sliver of hope. It’s enough to keep them all going.
First, they need to find a spot where the veil is particularly thin, where the fade peaks through the seams of reality. Then, they need to use an artifact of the Veil Jumper’s to do… magical, fade, location-y… stuff. Emmrich actually uses a bit of Rook’s blood for this part, located on some stained clothes that Assan had dug out in her room. 
Blood magic. Ordinarily, Lucanis would be opposed. But no one says a word against it. They are all desperate for this to work. 
The first day they try it, it doesn’t work. They make some adjustments, and try again.
The second day, it doesn’t work. They make some more adjustments, and they try again.
On the fifth day, Spite says it in his ear, voice sharp with excitement.
I can smell her- I can smell Rook!
Lucanis’ heart feels like it’s about to burst from his chest. He’s yelling, “Rook?” into the rift before he can stop himself, but the team’s caught on already that this isn't like the other times they’ve failed to make their plan work. The rift is spitting and spasming sparks of magic, and they can see through it in a way they’d never been able to before. They can see a light in the rift.
Emmrich seems to throw caution entirely to the wind, rolling up his sleeve and plunging his arm into the rift. The energy is wild, unrestrained, and they’re all calling out to Rook, reaching and trying to get to her.
“I’ve- I’ve got her!” Emmrich yells out, and Lucanis swears he can see Rook’s wavy form on the other side of the rift. Like looking through a fishbowl, or the walls of the Ossuary.
He reaches in too and grabs her hand with Emmrich, and they yank. Rook stumbles out, collapsing onto the ground.
“Varric’s dead,” she says, voice hollow and wobbly.
Neve shoots Lucanis a confused, concerned look, but he’s too relieved to care. He’s grabbing at her shoulders, pulling her into a tight embrace, and his throat feels like it’s closing up on him. Tears prick at his vision. She’s safe. She’s alive, she’s free, and she’s safe. She’s back with them.
They all want to hug her, and make sure she’s actually, really okay. But Lucanis gets to first.
Told you. Told you, told you! Spite repeats, ecstatic, She’s back!
“Are you okay?” He murmurs, pulling back and looking her over critically, trying to see if she’s been hurt or if anything has changed. But no. It’s just her. Like not a day has passed.
Rook nods slowly, and Lucanis smooths a hand down her hair, before cupping her cheek in his hand. All he wants to do is hold her, but he can’t be that selfish and drag her away from the others. Not yet, anyway. 
Pulling back, the others take the moment to rush in, making similar careful assessments and doting over Rook. The last few weeks have been almost unbearably difficult. There’s been little to celebrate. But this is joy again. Hope. With Rook back, not everything is completely fucked.
Davrin pulls her into a crushing hug, and Taash joins in, and they’re all hugging and crying a little. The trip back to the Lighthouse is a blur, with Rook thanking the Veil Jumpers and swearing to them she’ll get Bellara back.
How she can already be so determined, so ready to act, Lucanis will never know. He is, as he has so often found himself, in awe of her ability to forge forward, the light cutting through the swathes of dark that seem to surround them.
Spite is just about ready to try to crawl out of their skin in impatience, but they have work to do first. They all brief Rook on what has happened in her absence, and learn- horrifically- that she’s somehow been brainwashed into believing Varric has been alive, for months, by Solas.
Not for the first time, Lucanis feels anger and spite bubbling in his veins and vows to himself that he will not let Solas get away with hurting Rook. God or not. He finds it hard to fathom why he would mess with her head like that, if he wanted her to succeed in at least stopping Ghilan’nain. It reminds him too much of the mind games that his captors would play on him when he was in the Ossuary, tormenting and confusing him for no other reason than to break him down. Was that what Solas had tried to do to Rook, too? To break her down mentally, so she’d be easier to manipulate and trick?
It seems to take forever, but finally, Lucanis gets to see her alone. She’s lying down when he enters her quarters, her eyes closed, but the words spill out of him before he can even consider leaving her to rest.
“I cannot believe we found you,” he says, voice soft. All of the fear he’s felt for weeks, the doubt and the despair that Spite had helped him just barely keep at bay… the relief, now, is making him lightheaded. 
“I’m a little surprised too, honestly.” It’s a testament to the gravity of the situation that she’s not trying to make light of things. The words aren’t meant as a joke. 
“I thought I’d never see you again,” he admits.
“And I didn’t think I’d ever get out of there,” Rook tells him in turn. It leaves him cold, to think of her there, alone and believing she might never be found. “How do I know if I really did? This could be... more of the fade.”
Lucanis realizes then, that he’s never seen her vulnerable like this before. Emotional, yes, but lost? Frightened? Rook has always been the solid centre of the group. Unmoving, unyielding, steady. Utterly dependable. 
It’s almost surprising that she’s not actually invincible. She’s so consistently been their guiding light. But more than shock, more than anything else-
He wants to protect her. He wants to hold her until her worries melt away, to chase away the horrible memories of the last several weeks and see her smile at him. He wants her to know that he won’t let anything hurt her. He wants to kiss her until she feels safe and warm again. 
So he does. Kneeling down in front of her, holding her hands in his own, Lucanis reassures her she is real. There’s so much he wants to tell her, that he’s been praying he’ll get the chance to say. But now that Rook’s in front of him again, he can’t seem to find the words for everything he’s been feeling.
So he kisses her. So, so gently. And when he keeps kissing her, pressing her back against the chaise as she wraps her arms around his neck? It seems Spite is right there with him, because the wings unfurl right in that moment, curling around them both protectively, like he wants to help shield them from anyone in the world who might try to hurt them.
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qprstobin · 2 years ago
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Okay gotta admit I think I'm officially on the Gareth/will train
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aquaticmercy · 2 months ago
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Altar Ghosts
Summary : While on a mission with Bucky Barnes, you’re forced to confront your ex-fiancé, who left you at the altar. Bucky helps you realize you deserve far better than the man who broke your heart.
Pairing : Bucky Barnes x reader (she/her) 
Warnings/tags : Love Confessions!!! Fluff. Hurt/comfort. Verbal abuse and emotional manipulation (by the reader’s ex-fiancé), mentions of alcohol, mentions of food, past trauma, cursing, sexual references.
Requested by : @switchbladedreamz
Word count : 4.2k
Note : This was really fun to write! The reader’s ex-fiancé is called Ethan because I couldn't think of a better name. Bucky is already a congressman in this (as suggested in the Thundebolts* trailer). Matt Murdock gets a mention because why not. Enjoy!
Requests are open!
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The Gala was loud and pretentious, like most of them tend to be. The soft glow of crystal chandeliers illuminated the grand ballroom, people around you swirled in and out of conversations with champagne flutes in hand. The air smelled faintly of expensive cologne and overpriced alcohol, but underneath the glamour, there was a tangible sense of danger that you knew all too well. This ballroom was a place where secrets exchanged hands as easily as drinks.
You were tasked with swiping a hard drive from one of Kingpin’s enforcers— codename Red. It contained details of a black-market arms deal that could arm every crime syndicate in New York twice over.
Matt Murdock had approached you with this job, and since you owed him, you couldn’t exactly say no. You’d been briefed, and it seemed straightforward. Red should be easy to spot: fiery red hair and a wiry red mask. 
If you were going to go to a gala, you might as well bring someone with you, right? Bucky Barnes was the obvious partner for this mission, being the stealthy ex-assassin that he is. His past never truly left him, and as a newly appointed congressman, he was able to slip between a diplomatic politician and confrontative spy with ease.
With a single phone call, he’d secured your invitations to the gala, but as always, Bucky’s presence was more than just political. He was a close friend of yours, as close as friends ever got in this business. You bonded over many things that have happened in the past, and you’ve actually told him many secrets, personal or professional, that you were unable to utter around anyone else.
And if you were being honest, Bucky cleaned up really well. His suit hugged his broad shoulders perfectly, the dark fabric accentuating his sharp jawline and bringing out the striking blue in his eyes. As you moved together through the crowd, you felt his presence at your side like a comfortable, familiar weight.
"Don’t you scrub up nice, Barnes," you teased as you adjusted your gown, glancing up at him with a smirk.
He chuckled softly, leaning in slightly so only you could hear him. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”
You rolled your eyes, but a warm flush crept up your neck. “Focus, Congressman,” you replied with a hint of seriousness, but you couldn’t help the smile tugging at the corners of your lips.
As you passed by a group, Bucky leaned in even closer, his breath warm against your ear. “How am I supposed to focus when you’re dressed like that?” His voice was low and teasing, and you felt your heart skip a beat.
“You flirt like this on every mission, or am I special?” you shot back playfully, giving him a sidelong glance.
Bucky grinned, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “Depends,” he said, his voice a little softer now. “Do you want to be special?”
It was supposed to be the light, usual banter you two always shared, but there was something in the way he said it that made your stomach flutter. You caught his gaze, and for a brief moment, the gala, the mission, the crowd—it all seemed to fade into the background.
Before you could respond, you reached a quieter corner of the room, and he gently tugged you closer by the waist, pretending to blend in with the other couples dancing nearby. His touch was firm yet careful, and you found yourself stepping closer, your heart pounding a little faster.
“Is this okay?” he asked, ever the gentleman, of his grip on you.
“Of course,” you murmured, the air between you charged with something more than just the job you were asked to do.
“There’s our guy,” you pointed with your eyes, to the tall man wearing a red mask, with a messenger bag and unnaturally dyed red hair.
There was something familiar about him. Something you couldn’t get past, but you just brushed it off. 
You and Bucky danced carefully as you navigated the crowd, keeping up appearances. While the gala’s guests indulged in champagne, Red stood there, alone, like a sentinel guarding his secrets.
Bucky glanced toward Red, sizing him up. “So, what’s the plan? Subtle or do we make a scene?”
“Subtle,” you confirmed. “If we tip him off, we lose our only chance to swipe the drive clean. You’ll handle the distraction. I’ll grab the drive.”
Bucky adjusted his cufflinks and winked. “Let’s hope you’re as good as you say you are.”
You shot him a playful glare before he slipped into the crowd, your eyes fixed on Red. In moments like these, your instincts kicked in. The mission was clear, and any hint of nerves you might have felt melted away.
You approached Red cautiously, hiding your face from him. You didn’t need to engage him—only slip your hand into his bag when he wasn't looking.
As if right on cue, Bucky bumped into a waiter just enough to send champagne crashing to the floor, apologising profusely. It was a small diversion, but it was all you needed. Red’s head snapped toward the noise, giving you the window you needed. In a fluid, silent movement, you reached for the hard drive, snatching it without a sound.
There was something still so familiar about him that you couldn’t place.
By the time you and Bucky reached the bar, the hard drive was already nestled safely in your purse.
"That was smooth, even for you." Bucky commented, pretending to be interested in the drink in his hand. He leaned casually against the counter. His eyes sparkled with that mischievous spark that always seemed to make your heart race a little faster.
You gave him a playful smile and shrugged. “I’m a woman of many talents.”
“I’m starting to see that.” His voice full of that teasing, flirtatious tone he’d been using all night. He leaned in a little, his shoulder brushing against yours. “You’re full of surprises.”
“You’re just easily impressed, Barnes.”
“Trust me,” he said, his eyes gleaming with a teasing glint. “I’ve seen plenty.”
You felt dizzy, but it had nothing to do with the champagne in your hand that you didn't even intend to drink. You shook your head, unable to stop the grin forming at your lips. “You know,” you started, moving just a little bit closer to him, “I’m starting to think you like working with me.”
Bucky had been flirting with you all night—more boldly than usual. And, God help you, you were loving it. 
Though you weren’t sure it meant anything to him, it was time you flirted back.
Bucky laughed, playfully dancing around the question, leaving it open ended. He leaned casually against the bar, his voice low and smooth as he shot you a sidelong glance.
Bucky chuckled, his eyes flicking over your face, lingering just long enough to make your cheeks burn. “So what now, doll?” he murmured, the endearment rolling off his tongue so effortlessly that it sent a shiver down your spine. “Mission is over. We have time to kill.”
You raised an eyebrow, trying to ignore the way your heart fluttered at the sound of doll coming from his lips. “I can think of a few ways to pass the time.”
The air between you felt electric. The crowd around you blurred into the background as Bucky’s gaze bravely held yours. He moved just a little closer, his shoulder pressing gently against yours, his lips hovering near your ear.
“And what might that be?” he murmured, his voice dripping with that scruffy tone that had been driving you crazy all night.
You opened your mouth to respond, your heart hammering in your chest, but the moment was cut short when you heard someone call your name.
You turned sharply, searching for the source. Bucky straightened, once again alert, scanning the room alongside you.
It was Red—the man with the red hair, now striding toward you with purpose. He called your name again, louder this time. Something about the way he said your name sent a chill down your spine. 
How does he know me? Are we compromised? Thoughts ran through your mind like a warning bell. You glanced at Bucky, and the concern on his face mirrored your own.
Red reached you, stopping a few feet away. Slowly, he raised his hands to his mask and pulled it away to reveal a face you hadn’t seen in years, and you weren’t pleased at this reunion. It was the face of the man who had shattered your world when he left you at the altar.
Ethan.
Your breath almost choked you. The years had changed him; his once softer features were now more brutal. Sharper. His once natural hair was now dyed a shocking red. He had bulked up, more defined than you remembered him being. So many parts of him were unrecognisable, but there was no mistaking those eyes. Those were the same eyes that once upon a time had looked at you with so much love and promise. The idea that you’d been close enough to him to swipe the drive made you feel sick.
"Surprised to see me?" Ethan said, his voice dripping with smug satisfaction. His gaze flicked over to Bucky, who was standing impossibly still. If his stare could kill, Ethan would already be dead.
"You look good," Ethan continued, his eyes narrowing slightly. "Better than the last time I saw you."
"I didn't know you still ran in these circles.” You swallowed hard, trying to not show weakness. “What brings you here tonight, Ethan?" you finally asked, your voice colder than you'd intended.
Bucky winced. He recognized the name. You’ve told him about your failed wedding, and he had no sympathy for the man who had broken your heart.
A slow smirk spread across his face. "Work. Same as you, I imagine.’" 
You let out a breath you didn't know you had been holding, a strange relief rolling over you. At least he didn't know that you had stolen the drive from him. At least he didn't suspect a thing.
He gestured toward Bucky. "And you’ve upgraded. Congressman Barnes, right?"
Bucky stepped forward, positioning himself slightly in front of you, his voice low and dangerous. "We’re not here to chat."
Ethan's smirk widened. "I’m sure you’re not." His gaze shifted between you and Bucky, and dark mischief flickered in his eyes. "But I have to ask— does he know? Does the Congressman know just how much you loved being used?"
You clenched your fists, but before you could respond, Bucky took another step forward, his face a mask of controlled anger. "Watch it," he growled.
Ethan’s grin didn’t falter. In fact, it grew. "What’s wrong, Barnes?" He chuckled darkly, leaning in as if to share a secret. "are you just using her too?"
Before Bucky could react, you placed a hand on his arm, feeling the tension in his muscles. "Bucky," you warned softly. You couldn’t afford to cause a scene now, not here, not with this many eyes on both of you. "He’s not worth it."
Bucky’s jaw tightened, his blue eyes locked onto Ethan’s. You heard the soft whir of his vibranium arm as his hands tightened into a fist. For a moment, you weren’t sure if he was going to listen. To your relief, he exhaled a sharp breath through his nose, stepping back slightly.
You turned to Ethan, forcing your voice to remain calm, even though your blood was boiling. "We’re just colleagues, Ethan."
“Of course,” Ethan laughed, shaking his head, though you could tell he didn’t quite believe you. "I should’ve known. She always preferred confident men. I don’t think she likes her men broken." he said with a venomous sneer, his eyes gleaming with malice. The insult had clearly hit its mark. You saw a flash of pain flicker across Bucky’s face before he masked it with a blank stare.
The words stung more than he’d like to admit.
Insulting you was one thing. You expected it from him. But Bucky? He had crossed a line. You stepped closer to him, your voice dropping to a near whisper. "I know who you’re working for, Ethan." The subtle threat in your tone was unmistakable, “And it won't end well.” 
For the first time, you saw his shit-eating grin drop.
His face tensed, just for a moment. Knowing that you had rattled him, that your words had struck a nerve? It was enough to give you a small sense of satisfaction.
“Let’s get out of here,” you finally told Bucky while Ethan stayed frozen, unable to find a way to respond.
You turned on your heel and walked away. Bucky was at your side in an instant, his hand on your arm, his voice low and full of concern. “You okay?”
You nodded, but the truth was, you weren’t sure. Ethan’s attendance had thrown you off balance, bringing up emotions you thought you had buried six feet underground. 
As you walked out the grand doors, your mind drifted to Bucky—his protectiveness, his flirtation. It was all too confusing for you. Was he just doing his job, or was there something more? You didn’t know, and right now, you doubt you have the energy to figure all of this out.
The drive back to the safe house was quiet, the tension in the car thick enough to strangle you. Bucky didn’t push, didn’t ask questions, but you could feel his concern as he focused on the road in front of him. It wasn’t until you got to the small cottage on the edge of the city, that you even felt safe from prying eyes and ears. This cottage was a safehouse that was used for SHIELD agents, back in the day. After Hydra and SHIELD were taken down, Fury had given The Avengers and their associates full access to all of the remaining uncompromised safehouses across the country. 
When you got inside, you finally let your guard down. 
You barely made it to the couch before collapsing onto it, your hands shaking as you tried to control the tears threatening to spill over.
“Talk to me,” Bucky said softly, sitting beside you. He was close, but you wished he was closer. His demeanour was gentle, patient. It’s as if he could see the storm raging inside you. It’s like he was knocking on the door to your soul and was simply waiting for you to let him in.
For a long moment, you just sat there. You stared at your trembling hands, unsure where to start. The weight of the past, the present, and Ethan all dragged down on you like an anchor to a ship.
“He left me,” you finally whispered, your voice barely audible, as though saying it aloud would make it worse. You had been strong enough to put on a face at the gala, but here? You felt small. Pathetic.
“I know,” Bucky said quietly. 
You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat. “He left me at the altar. No explanation. Nothing. I never saw him again after that. Until today.”
Bucky didn’t say anything, but you could feel the shift in his body language. There was a simmering anger that only seemed to appear when something—or someone—hurt the people he cared about. 
He had heard you talk about Ethan before. You had your days, where you thought you should call him— not to get back together, but to get some kind of closure. Bucky had always told you not to, that it would just do more harm than good. And that interaction just proved him right.
“I thought I was over it,” you confessed, your voice cracking as you wiped the tears threatening to spill from your eyes. “But seeing him… it just— hurt me.” Your voice broke, and you shook your head.
“He’s an asshole,” Bucky said after a beat, his voice low and sure. You knew some of Ethan’s comments hurt him, too, more than he would ever care to admit.
“I just— I thought he loved me, you know?” You brushed away more tears. “I thought I was enough.”
Bucky’s expression darkened, a rare flicker of something secretive passing over his eyes. He leaned forward, catching your gaze with a kind of intensity that made your breath hitch.
“You are more than enough,” he said quietly, his voice steady but fierce. “People like him … they don’t know what they have until they lose it. And he lost the best thing he could ever possibly have.”
You blinked, stunned by the sincerity of his words. Sure, he had flirted with you all night, but there was something serious in his tone that you’ve never noticed before. For a moment, all you could do was stare at him, trying to process the gravity of what he was saying.
“Bucky…” you whispered, your heart fluttering in your chest, but this time not our of hurt.
But he didn’t break eye contact. He didn’t back down. “You deserve better than him,” he continued softly. “You deserve someone who sees you for who you are. Someone who would never be stupid enough let you go.”
The words lingered between you, and you suddenly realised just how close he was sitting, how the air around you seemed to buzz with something new, something you hadn’t fully acknowledged, not really.
Bucky had always been there for you, from the day you were first paired up for a mission together. He was a comforting presence in your life, but this… this was different. The way he was looking at you now, the way his voice had wrapped around those words—it was as if he were trying to tell you something more. Something he was too scared to tell.
For the first time, you wondered if maybe, just maybe, Bucky Barnes was offering you more than just a friendship.
That night, you couldn’t sleep. Bucky’s words had echoed through your mind like a whirlwind of thoughts you weren’t sure how to handle.
You tossed and turned. You were no longer trying to shake off the lingering pain from seeing Ethan anymore. Instead, it was Bucky who filled your thoughts now. The way he had comforted you, the way he had looked at you like you were worth more than you had ever given yourself credit for. 
You couldn’t stop replaying his words in your mind. You deserve better. Someone who’d never let you go. 
He always knew what to say. He always knew exactly what you needed to hear, even if you hadn’t realised it yourself.
The feelings you had for Bucky—they had been there for a while, hadn’t they? Subtle at first, easily dismissed as friendship, as a harmless crush. But now, after everything you’ve been through, you could not deny your feelings any longer.
Bucky meant more to you than you had ever let yourself admit.
This realisation was both exhilarating and terrifying.  But what if he didn’t feel the same way? What if you were just projecting your own emotions? What if you’re reading too much into his words?
No, you thought, shaking your head. You couldn’t keep running from this. You needed to talk to him. You needed to know. You needed him to know.
The next morning, you woke up to find Bucky sitting at the kitchen table in the safe house, eating the last bit of his pancakes. He looked up when you entered the room, his eyes softening.
“Hey,” he said quietly, giving you a small smile. He slid across a second plate of pancakes with maple syrup that he had made for you. “How are you feeling?”
“Better,” you replied honestly, sitting opposite of him. “Thanks to you.”
He gave a small shrug, but his eyes didn’t leave yours. “I didn’t do much.”
“You did more than you realise,” you said softly, feeling your heart start to race in your chest. 
You started eating breakfast, sighing at how tasty it is. This was just a ritual. You enjoyed sharing safe houses with Bucky. Though you loved that he always made you breakfast, you loved his company more. You wondered how long he had been awake, waiting for you. 
You read at the clock as you stuffed the last bit of pancake in your mouth. “Murdock will be here in two hours.” you glanced at the hard drive that sat on a kitchen counter. I hope that’s worth it, Matt, you thought to yourself.
After a moment of silence, you called, “Buck?”
Something flickered in his eyes, but he stayed quiet, waiting for you to continue.
You swallowed hard, trying to gather your thoughts, your courage. “Yesterday, when you said I deserved better… Did you mean it?”
Bucky’s expression softened, and for a moment, you saw something vulnerable in his eyes, something he rarely let anyone see. “Of course,” he said quietly. 
Your heart twisted and you took a deep breath. Your voice trembled slightly, fully aware of the information you’re about to disclose to him. “And what if… what if I already found someone l think I deserve?”
Bucky’s eyes widened slightly. There was a bit of fear, of nervousness behind those sky blue eyes. His hand tightened around his coffee mug. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.
“I think…” you said, your voice barely audible, “I think I’m in love with you. I’ve been for a while now.”
The silence that followed was deafening, and for a split second, you thought you had made a mistake. Maybe you had misread everything? 
Calming your spiralling thoughts, Bucky gently placed his hand on top of yours.
“I’m in love with you too,” he admitted quietly, “For much longer than I care to admit.”
For a moment, all you could do was stare at him, your heart pounding in your chest. Then, slowly, you stood up from your chair and moved around the table, stopping in front of him. Bucky stood as well, his eyes searching yours for any sign of hesitation.
But there was none.
You reached up, cupping his face gently in your hands. Without another word, you leaned in and kissed him. 
Bucky’s arms wrapped around you, pulling you close, his lips were softer that you had imagined. It was slow and gentle, brimming with pent up emotions that had been building for far too long.
When you finally pulled away you felt breathless. Bucky rested his forehead against yours, his hands still holding you close.
“You deserve more than that prick has ever given you,” he whispered, his voice bitter at the mention of the man he had met last night. “And I want to be the person to give you everything you deserve.”
Your heart thrummed at his words. For the first time in what felt like forever, the ache in your chest—the pain from your past—was finally beginning to fade.
“I know.” You stayed there for a long moment, your forehead pressed against his. The world outside the cottage felt so far away, all the hurt and confusion replaced by this new, fragile hope blooming between you.
“I’ve waited a long time to kiss you,” Bucky murmured in amazement. His voice barely above a whisper. His fingers were still tracing light patterns along your jaw. “I didn’t think I ever would.”
You smiled softly, brushing your thumb over his cheek. 
You leaned in again, capturing his lips in another gentle kiss. His hands moved to your waist, pulling you closer until there was no space left between you. Your lips moved in tandem with each other, hands running up and down his body. His lips tasted of the sweet vanilla scent he always smelled of. You felt the edges of his fingers play with the hem of your shirt.
Just as you began to drown in the moment, the door to the cottage creaked open. A familiar voice filled the room. "I hope I’m not interrupting,” Matt Murdock said dryly from the doorway, “but boy am I glad I can’t see.”
You froze, Bucky’s lips still hovering just inches from yours. A small nervous laugh escaped your throat. 
Bucky groaned, dropping his forehead against your shoulder as if to hide from the embarrassment. “Perfect timing, Murdock,” he muttered, his voice muffled against skin. In your defence, he was way early.
“You didn’t lock the door.” Matt chuckled as he stepped into the cottage, “Very careless for two superheroes with very sensitive information.”
Bucky sighed, not seeing a flaw in his logic, but when he lifted his head, there was a playful gleam in his eyes. “Yeah, well, you could’ve knocked.”
You pressed your lips together, trying not to laugh again. The way Bucky’s arm stayed wrapped protectively around you, even with Matt there, made your heart flutter.
Matt grinned, as if sensing the shift between the two of you, one that he hadn’t noticed in previous encounters. “I can tell you’re both smiling like idiots right now.”
“Shut up,” you rolled your eyes, grabbing the drive and tossing it in towards the lawyer. He caught it in mid air and tucked it into his suit pocket.
“Well,” Matt said, “I’ll just leave you two lovebirds to it. Next time, maybe let me know when you’re, uh, busy?”
You laughed, cheeks warm with embarrassment. "Will do."
As Matt exited the cottage, leaving you alone again with Bucky, the two of you shared a look, bursting into laughter. Bucky leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your temple, and whispered, “Should I lock the door?”
“Good idea,” you teased, watching him quickly turn the keys and the deadlock, before picking you up, throwing you over your shoulder and running into one of the bedrooms like an excited teenage boy.
The world outside could wait. Right now, everything you needed— everything you deserved— was right here.
-end
944 notes · View notes
mywritersmind · 22 days ago
Text
THREE DAYS. TWO CONFESSIONS. - KA12
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summary : A pair of flirty teens with rich parents and talent running through their blood. In three days of running into eachother in black and red, the pair seem to come to the conclusion that maybe their jokes aren’t too far off from the truth.
listen up : suggestive jokes. dual pov!! mutual pining! banter! kimixbearman!reader. idk apparently i have a thing for wrong kimi x photographers
word count : 3740
⋆。‧˚⋆
I’m staring at him.
He’s talking to an engineer from Mercedes, leaning against a table with his arms braced against it. Fuck his arms. Tan and veiny, gripping the table.
His curls bounce as he nods, his jaw moving as his words meet the open air. I bring my camera up to my face, peering through and snapping one shot. One for myself.
One of him.
Kimi turns his head when I take the photo, the confused look on his face changing, the corner of his lip quirking upwards.
He excuses himself, walking over to me while slipping his hands into his pockets, “Antonelli.” I nod.
“Bella.” He says it as if it’s any other word, yet the weight of it hangs above me like a knife.
He’s called me ‘Bella’ ever since I caught him talking to his friend in italian two years ago. He was explaining who was in the group photo we took at Prema and he said, “The pretty one to the left is Y/n.”
In the moment, my heart did a funny flip, but I played it off and am now stuck with him calling me ‘Pretty’ in his favorite romantic language.
“Saw your face when Lewis radioed.” I fake a frown, “Don't want the car anymore?”
He stays calm and collected, his accent hitting me once again, “It’s like you don’t want to see me every weekend next year.” He frowns, “I know you better than that.”
I cross my arms, looking up at him, “Do you?”
“If I wasn’t there, who would you bully?”
A small smile breaks my cool exterior, “True. My brother isn’t as easy as you.”
He bites his lip, shaking his head, “Ollie is a project for both of us to bug.”
⋆༺
I’m in the Ferrari garage for the majority of the day, practice going smoothly and my day getting increasingly boring.
I end up walking over to Ollie as he gets out of his car, “My speedy brother!” I smile as he pulls his helmet off, the same grin he has everytime he gets out of a car.
“My snappy sister.” He greets me as I raise a brow. “Oh! Later today I'm going over to Kimi’s room so I can’t get dinner with you…” I frown, “Sorry! Guys night. Jack too.”
I cross my arms, “How are the three of you already pissing me off and your season hasn’t started yet?” Ollie just laughs and shrugs, leaving me in the pitlane.
I continue my walk, taking some more photos even though I'm technically supposed to focus on Ferrari pics. I see Kimi in the Mercedes garage, talking animatedly with Lewis.
I pull myself away because too many times I’ve gotten caught looking at him.
I continue my walk to see Jack Doohan standing alone, “Jack!” I smile as I approach him.
He grins a toothy smile, “Y/n! Long time no see!”
“Shit, yeah! How’ve you been?”
“Great! This weather is worrying me though.” I look up to the blue skies, frowning, “I have a feeling.” Jack and his ‘feelings’ are well known in the paddock.
“Well, if it does rain i’m calling for a singing in the rain moment!”
“I’m thinking more of Tom Holland and an umbrella.” I let out a loud laugh, reaching out to touch his arm.
“I’m so in! I can definitely find a black wig and leather.” He shakes his head, his gaze flicking past me.
I turn instinctively. Kimi is looking at us, his face blank but soon turns into a soft smile and a wave. Jack waves back but Kimi doesn’t look at me, just walks back into the garage.
I make a face, turning back to Jack, “Weird.” He laughs out loud, staring down at me, “What?”
Jack just shakes his head, “I’ll see you later, Y/n.”
⋆༺
KIMI
The guys somehow found three old gaming controllers and hooked them up to the TV. Ollie and Jack are screaming at each other as I grab the ice bucket, “Hey! Grab me a candy bar?”
“Oh! And some crisps!” Jack cuts in. Rolling my eyes, I grab some cash and slip out the door.
As I walk down the hallway, I’m humming a stupid one direction song that Ollie got stuck in my head. The hotel is nice and I pause when I walk past the window.
Brazil stares back at me, the darkness isolating the few lights that are still on. I pull myself away from the view and continue humming and walking to the ice machine.
I stop my noise as soon as I turn the corner, seeing a girl standing with her back facing me, and her foot repeatedly hitting the vending machine.
She’s in pink low waisted flared sweats, and what looks like a formerly oversized shirt, cut into a crop and off the shoulder top.
“Fuck!” She yells again, this time placing her hands on the machine.
“Y/n?” I don’t mean to scare her, but she jumps. “Sorry. You need help?”
She looks hopelessly between me and the machine, crossing her arms over her bare skin, “Yes. This stupid thing ate my money!”
I can’t help but smile at her anger, her face is red and her hair looks like she’s shoved her hands through it a million times.
I quietly nod, peering into the box and seeing the stuck candy. I put my money in, buying a packet of strawberry cookies that do exactly what I hoped.
When the pack falls, it knocks her candy right out. “My savior.” She jokes before bending down and reaching into it. My gaze flicks down to her ass, the curve of her waist and her skin on display.
When she stands, I finally see her candy. It’s a chocolate bar with some sort of nuts and she looks ecstatic to finally have it in her grasp.
“Thank you!” She hands over my cookies that I hope Ollie will eat, “How’s the boys night going? They put you on errand duties?” She laughs a bit, a sound I wish I could bottle.
I scratch the back of my neck, “Yeah… What are you up to tonight?”
She shrugs, “Movies, going through pictures, snacks, crying. The usual?”
I let out a breathy laugh, “Why are you crying?”
“I miss my cat.”
“Mmm, peppermint.” I swear she almost starts crying right there. But she takes a breath, “You alone?”
It’s like a switch flips and she’s suddenly looking up at me like I'm more than some kid from karting. She bats her eyelashes, “I don’t have to be. Ditch the guys, I'm watching the princess bride.” I frown, I do love that movie.
“As appealing as that sounds… I think your brother would have an issue with that.” Her lips quirk into a slow smirk. God I love her lips.
“Tell them you got lost. Or kidnapped!” she steps a bit closer, “You really gonna turn down my invite?”
Fuck. Actually fuck. Fuck Ollie for having such a hot sister and fuck her for being so damn convincing. “You’re making it really hard for me.”
She doesn’t miss a fucking beat, raising a brow innocently, “Making more than one thing hard?”
I bite my lip, shaking my head, “You’re funny.”
She doesn’t break eye contact, “I aim to please.”
“You’re gonna get me in trouble, Bella.” I see her flirty facade break when I call her that. She likes it and I like that I can make her blush like that.
She flips her hair over her shoulder, “There’s this thing called self control.
I run my tongue over my teeth, “Trust me. I know a thing or two about it.” She looks satisfied at my answer, “Is this gonna come back to haunt me?”
She blinks innocently, backing up, “I have no idea what you’re talking about!”
I groan, watching her sinister smirk as she leaves, “Bearman…”
She mocks me, laughing, “Antonelli.” I want her to say my name a million times in a million different ways.
I nod slowly, “Have fun crying!”
“Have fun thinking about me!” She blows a kiss before disappearing around the corner. I want to chase after her and keep our conversation going forever.
Instead, I buy a bag of crisps and a chocolate bar. Walking back to my room, all I can wonder is why the universe continues to test me with my best friend's bloody sister.
⋆༺
YOU
I bounce around the paddock, RAYE in my headphones and my camera in hand. The sprint is over and after some dramatics, the rain started.
I texted Jack as soon as I saw the dark cloud, letting him know he’d be good as a prophet.
I run into Franco, he looks tired but happy to see me, “Fran!” He hasn’t been here for long, but his first day was when we met and hit it off instantly. He’s like another brother to me.
“I’m hiding from the media.” He whispers, “Anything interesting happen to you recently?” My mind immediately goes to Kimi and last night. Something about him just makes me need to mess with him.
But maybe it’s not all for fun, maybe it’s a bit of truth mixed with flirting.
“Uh oh…” Franco points at me, “You've got that look in your eye.”
I scoff, playing it off, “What look?”
“That look like something interesting did happen to you. Spill!” I’m about to say something but a figure appears next to us, clapping his hand with Franco and smiling at me.
“Norris!” I thank god for the distraction.
“What’s up?” He’s in all papaya orange, a water bottle in hand.
Franco smirks, “Y/n here was just about to tell me about her interesting life!” He crosses his arms, “Go ahead.”
“Oh?” Lando turns to me as well, standing next to Franco. I suddenly feel very ganged up on.
“I’m not telling you two anything! You’re both too nosy.”
“Can’t help but be curious. Especially about you.” Franco’s relaxed manner makes my lips crack, smiling a bit. “So tell us, who’s the boy?”
“You’re not my brother- you don’t get to ask that.”
“You tell Ollie about your boy troubles?” Lando asks.
“He’s my twin, it’s in the rule book. At least everything he won’t gag at.”
Lando laughs at this, his eyes tracking past me and I know instantly as him and Franco smile, “Kid!” Lando waves him over just as Franco catches the look on my face.
His mouth drops but I just run my tongue over my teeth, holding back my smile with my hands on my hips.
Kimi is next to me in seconds, coolly looking at me as if he wasn’t an inch away from me yesterday. “Hey.”
“So what are your intentions?” Franco comes in hot and embarrassing, my eyes widening at him.
Kimi looks confused and a little intimidated, “With…?”
I stare Franco down, my eyes wide and panicked, Lando finally understanding and breaking out into laughter.
“Next year. You gonna be okay with your friend on the grid? I mean we all saw what happened with Lewis.”
Kimi looks at me as if i’m going to be any help, “I think i’ll be okay… Y/n will probably give me more issues than Ol.”
I scoff, “Right. You’re so cocky with Merc. Do you need a reminded how Lewis is driving that car this weekend?” I tick and wave my finger, “Ollie was totally geeking out when he overtook him.”
He laughs as Lando smiles, “I say we get Y/n a car and see how she likes it.”
Kimi shakes his head, “Don't say that! She’ll go bowling and still win.”
I smile widely, “I was a menace in karting. Kimi has never had the pleasure of racing against me.”
“You’re the one getting cocky, Bella. You really think you can beat me?” I nod, knowing full well I would not beat him.
Lando and Franco both look at us quizzically, “Bella?” Franco speaks italian. Something Kimi clearly did not know.
Lando frowns, “Bella? Is that your middle name or something.” Kimi looks like a deer in headlights.
“More like a nickname.” I mumble.
Franco eyes me, “And you know what it means?”
Lando is still confused, “What does it mean!?”
We all ignore him, “Mhm.” I say as Kimi fiddles with his ring, “Anyways- I gotta go!”
⋆༺
I ignore Kimi for the rest of the day. In my mind, i’m blaming it on work as if the rain hasn’t stopped my job.
Well, I still sit in the garage and snap pictures of the same things over and over again. Charles and Carlos are pretty but become boring to look at after two hours of them sitting and staring into space.
“Y/n!” The head media manager comes up to me, “Could you go print out what I just sent you? It’s for a tiktok.” I nod, grateful for a distraction and a reason to get out of the cold.
Walking through the halls, I stare at blank walls and try to find the printer which we share with two other teams.
It’s hidden in a dark corner, the door shut. I walk in, still humming to my music when I face Kimi. I’m reminded of last night and how his humming ceased when he saw me.
He turns around when the door squeaks, “Oh, Hey.”
“They got you running errands again?” I smile, the door shutting behind me.
“You’re one to talk.” He eyes my phone in my hand, the picture pulled up already.
“Fair enough…” I walk closer to him, he’s leaning over the printer, “How long is your stuff going to take?”
“I’m assuming a while because I can’t get it to work.” My eyebrows pull together as I look at the tiny screen, my arm brushing his as I reach over and press some buttons.
I eye his arms, something that keeps acting a magnet for my eyes. Stupid driver workouts.
Kimi checks his watch, groaning, “I gotta be back soon.” I keep messing with it as he crosses his arms.
“I’m not very experienced in printers.” I shrug, turning to him, “Maybe we can borrow Haas’?” He makes a face, “It’s a printer, not a car part.”
When he reaches for the doorknob a sense of sadness washes over me, knowing we’ll be separated again.
But i’m supposed to be avoiding him! I can't make up my mind and it’s making me angry. I don’t want to be with him but I do at the same time and I'm busy and stressed and he’s so damn cute.
He turns it, except it doesn’t turn. His hand slides over it as it stays in place. He looks back at me, already panicked.
Suddenly, i’ve completely forgot about why I want to stay with him. Because all I can focus on is that I’m stuck in a tiny room with Kimi Antonelli and no fucking air.
⋆༺
KIMI
We’ve texted everyone we know, called and banged on the door, yet still… nothing.
I think she’s freaking out because her hand hasn’t left her bracelet. I sit next to her on the floor as she shivers, “I’m going to petition for a bigger warning budget.” I laugh a bit, shrugging off my jacket.
I see her gaze drop to the black bomber, “I don’t know how you’re cold because I'm getting hot.” I push the jacket closer to her and she offers a small smile and pulls it on.
I think she’s going to stay quiet, but she looks up and sighs, “Must be because I'm so hot.”
I laugh, grateful for her humor back, “Glad to know you’re feeling well enough to talk yourself up.” a small smile graces her lips again.
“The day I don’t, call the police.” She crosses her arms, pulling my jacket close to her, “Thanks.”
“No problem, I told you, you look good in mercedes merch.” She’s facing the wall across from us still, her head tilted back as she bites back a smile.
“Do I look good in Mercedes, or is it just because it’s yours?” She tilts her head towards me as a slow smile meets my lips.
“Bit of both?” I look at her. Her eyes locked on mine as they squint a bit, assessing my answer. “Mostly cause it’s mine.”
She shakes her head, looking forward again, her cheeks pink.
“Your flirting game has improved.” she teases again, “Must be all the time around me.” cocky. arrogant. and correct.
“Nah, I think it’s because I actually mean it.” I see her breathing change, her smile fading.
“Too far, Antonelli. Don’t do that.” She whispers.
“Do what?”
She sits up, turning towards me completely, “Giving me false hope.”
I blink, realizing that this is real and happening right now as we’re stuck in a tiny room, “There’s nothing false about it.” when she starts to look away from me, rolling her eyes, I scoff, “You can’t be the one upset about this. You started this!”
“I started this?” she looks shocked but her voice is still calm, “You called me ‘Bella’. You called me Bella and I didn’t even know your last name.”
“Some girls would like that I described her as I see her. And you 100% love it.” She licks her lips as I continue, “Ollie tells both of us to stop constantly. I thought you at least do it to bug him.”
“Kimi. I don’t care what my brother says that much and… If I was doing it because of Ollie- I wouldn’t flirt with you when we’re alone.”
“So you like it. So why did you tell me to stop?” I can’t quite place the look on her face, confusion mixed with… anger?
“I told you… false hope.”
“And I told you. There’s nothing false about it.” She swallows. I can hear myself breathing as she stares at me.
She stares at me as if it's the first time we met. She stares at me like she knows everything about me. She’s confusing and it’s making me so angry because we’re stuck in this fucking room and neither of us will-
I’m so caught up in my own mind that I don’t realize she’s leaning in. I don’t realize until her hand touches my jaw and her lips are on mine.
She pulls back, her eyes wide and her breath quickened. “I- Sorry.” I’m shaking my head and pulling her in before she can talk again.
She tastes like mint and smells like chocolate. My hand slips under the jacket, gripping her waist. I think I'm dreaming and if I am I don’t want to ever be woken up.
“Bella.” I whisper, my breath ragged and her smile pressing against my lips.
And then the door opens.
We pull apart so quickly that when Ollie blinks down at us, he doesn't see us. But he knows.
Y/n’s lips are red and my cheeks match it. We’re both panting and Ollie just blinks.
“Ollie.” Y/n says, her voice breaking the silence.
“No.” Is all he says before turning around and leaving.
⋆༺
YOU
Ollie isn’t pissed.
Ollie is… embarrassed? Uncomfortable? Horrified that he caught his sister and best friend making out?
We had texted him to get us out of that room and obviously I completely forgot because I was FUCKING KISSING KIMI.
I’m still warm and absolutely buzzing, but with the rain delay, I'm on extra photo duty. I edit all through the afternoon and fall asleep before I even think of texting him.
On quali and race day, I wake up way too early to my phone dead, and when I finally make it to the track, I'm working again.
With my phone a tiny bit charged, I text Kimi.
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I’m tapping my foot the whole race, cringing at every crash and mentally screaming at every red flag.
I keep checking my phone to see if Kimi has texted me but still nothing. He pops up on the TV when Lewis gets overtaken.
I don’t mean to smile, but I do.
It’s ridiculous. I’m acting like a total school girl! One day, i’m flirting and sizing him up because I thought our game was… well… just a game. Even though I didn’t want it to be. And the next, I'm kissing him and checking my phone like an obsessed freak in love.
I really do like him. And that scares me a whole lot more than I expected.
⋆༺
KIMI
I frown with the team at todays result for Lewis, but I fucking run out of the garage the second the podium starts.
I find her in the midst of chaos, her hair is wet and I can’t help but laugh. She doesn’t see me yet, but she’s making a disgusted face and peeling her hair off her face, “Bella.”
She turns just then, her face morphing into a smile, “Hi.”
“You wanted to talk?” She nods, pulling me into an empty glass room.
“I like you.”
A slow smile pulls at my lips as I lean against the table, “I like you too…”
She sighs, like all she needed was to hear that. “But i’m fucking scared because how does that even work and I always thought you flirted back as a joke and Ollie is so weird about it and I really really like you.”
I take her hand in mine, her eyes settling on me, “The first time I saw you, I told Ollie you were pretty. He then informed me that you were his twin and I wanted to die.” She laughs out loud, “But it’s more than your face, because as pretty as you are, and as much as we flirt… I like you because you’re the smartest eighteen year old I know and the only one who can make me laugh and blush simultaneously.”
Her breath slows, stepping closer so she’s standing in between my legs, “I’m sorry for being a pussy about you.”
I laugh, “I wouldn’t give up your cheesy lines for anything.” my favorite smile stares back at me. The one that I create. I poke her in the side, “You fancy me!” I mock her accent as she rolls her eyes and kisses me.
She’s sweet and perfect and my girl.
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fuctacles · 4 months ago
Text
you guys are feral for silly wereshifter Steve AU and I love that
Some meatheads are calling Eddie names again. The dog that's been tailing him appears out of nowhere and makes eye contact with him as it struts over to the group and lifts his leg, pissing all over the fresh wax on their BMW with the determination and focus of a dog that hasn't been outside for the whole day.
"Hey, get your fucking dog off my car!" One of the guys jumps up, but the warning show of canines stops him from shooing the dog away himself.
Eddie shrugs, though he's restraining a smile.
"It's not mine."
Later the dog finds him again as it always does, and he makes amends.
"You are my dog though, right? My good doggie. Who's my good boy?" he asks, scratching the overjoyed dog all over its furry body.
At home, Steve asks Robin to call him a good boy when he shifts, to see if it feels as good. It doesn't. Well, it does, but not in the same way.
It comes to the point when dog Steve spends more time with Eddie than human Steve. To soak in the happiness and love Eddie shows him.
"Is Steve okay?" Eddie asks one day, petting the dog beside him while they take a break from band practice. The rest of Hellfire is hanging out in the garage, with Mike jumping on every opportunity to learn guitar from Jeff and the rest usually following.
"Yeah?" Dustin cocks his head. "Why wouldn't he be?"
"I don't know." Eddie shrugs. "Haven't seen him in a while and you're never mentioning him anymore."
Dustin looks at the dog.
"He's fine. You're overthinking it."
Eddie thinks that might be it, but...
"I know we're not friends-friends but I don't even see him in passing! Hell, Buckley is there to hang out, and he's not!"
Dustin throws his hands up in the air, annoyed with the questions.
"Don't ask me, man! Ask him yourself! And, to be honest," he crosses his arms, glaring at the dog, for some reason. "I don't understand what's going on with him either."
Eddie frowns, looks at the dog that huffs loudly, and looks away with a grunt. He pats its fluffy fur.
"How am I supposed to ask him if he's never here?" he sighs. "I don't want to just corner him at his place."
Dusting looks at him like he failed elementary two times, not high school.
"There's this thing called phones?"
"Oh. Right."
"Jesus it's like you'd die without me."
"Well..."
"Not what I meant!" Dustin goes pale instantly, mortified by his own words.
"I know, kid." Eddie pulls his head down in reassurance and leans into a side hug. "Don't worry."
-----
"He's not picking up," he tells the dog while biting at a hangnail. "Maybe he's at work?" He wonders out loud and goes to the magazine pile on the coffee table. The dog struts behind him. He rummages through the papers under its watchful eye until he finds the Family Video pamphlet. He runs back to the phone with it and dials the number on the back.
"Hi, I'm looking for Steve? Oh, hi Buckley. Do you know if he's home? Okay. Can you tell him to call me when he's free? No, I just wanted to ask him something. Thanks. Bye."
When he hangs up, he's alone in the room.
"Buddy?"
There's a bark from the front of the trailer.
"Sure, sorry!"
He runs up to open the door for the dog already waiting there. But before it leaves, it nuzzles up into his hand, the wet nose and hesitance to leave reassuring Eddie that he'll be back sooner or later. He smiles at the dog, giving him one last scratch between the ears.
"Such a good boy. See you later, buddy."
----
Steve calls him not even an hour later.
"Eddie?" He sounds out of breath.
"Steve, hi!" He's relieved to hear him and suddenly realizes he doesn't remember the last time they actually talked. "Has Buckley talked to you already?"
"No?"
"Dustin then?"
"No- ah, yeah! He's mentioned you wanted to talk."
He's a bit disappointed Steve hasn't thought to reach out himself but it's better than nothing.
"Yeah, I Haven't seen you in a while, man. What have you been up to?"
"Uh, you know, just... This and that. Doing a lot of... Running. Exercises. You know."
Eddie doesn't know, but he's willing to nod along to keep the conversation going.
"Yeah, totally, you've been busy. Do you want to hang out maybe? Movie night, or, or..." He tries to come up with anything they could do together. "I got a new strain of weed we could test?" He offers.
Steve laughs at that, genuine and relaxed and Eddie relaxes at the sound himself.
"Sure, why not? Is tonight alright? I have a day off anyway."
Eddie's not prepared mentally and neither is his room but he agrees immediately.
"Sure, come over anytime."
"Okay I'll take a shower and I'm off."
When they meet up, everything seems normal. For about fifteen minutes.
Steve jumps whenever Eddie touches him, and his face is red, making Eddie look at him worriedly and ask if he's alright.
But all Steve can think about is “good boy” and belly scratches. When his leg twitches when Eddie touches his shoulder, he jumps off the couch, mortified by his body's reactions.
"Do you have a dog?!" he almost yells, looking around in panic.
Eddie blinks at him.
"Uh, no?" But then he frowns. "I mean, there is a dog," he corrects, and his brows crease in worry. "Wait, are you allergic?"
"Yes!" Steve points his finger at him. "I gotta go, man, sorry, I'm itching all over," he spits out fast, walking backward toward the exit and almost running into a wall. "But it was great seeing you, uh, bye!"
The doors slam shut and Eddie's left alone and confused, the reality show host still yelling from the screen.
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reidsdimples · 6 months ago
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Can i request something? But if you can't , its okay. Reid x reader, enemies to lover, undercover as married couple, Get gift from the other, play game, open the box, need to use whatever in the box. one of it's "vibrator underwear" then up to you...
Not So Faux Lovers
18+ ❤️‍🔥MDNI‼️
my take on this request, hope you love it! 🥰🫶🏻
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"Oh honey! You shouldn't have!" You gush at your faux-husband Spencer.
"You have to open it!" Cara, the unsubs wife, beams.
They were deep undercover as a married couple. The team was trying to figure our who in this underground kinky sex group was trying to involve minors. You guys had been at this for weeks, this being the third party you attended.
You were just grateful Spencer got you guys out of the group orgy that took place the night before. You were dedicated to your job but not dedicated enough for groups sex to keep cover.
Besides, you and Spencer had started to get on each other's nerves. Both of you wound tight from stress and short tempered with one another. The two of you had been fighting before the party but played as if you were the happiest married couple.
This party in particular involved the exchange and mandatory use of sex related gifts. You hoped Spencer figured out something that didn't involve one of the party members shoving something inside of you.
He nudges you to open it.
You tear the box open, less than eagerly. It takes you a moment to deduce what exactly the odd looking item was. You tilt your head and pick what appears to be a wireless remote.
"That's for me," Spencer snatches it from you.
You hold up what you realize to be underwear with something in the crotch. It was a pink lace thong with a fucking vibrator in a small pocket in the front. You blush and swallow hard.
You had opted to get him flavored condoms in which you would feign sex on the other side of a closed door as you were forced to do once before. This was...
"Oh hell yeah!" Trent, one of the party members claps Spencer on the back.
"Go put them on," another girl smiles at you. "Let's see if you can control yourself when he uses it against you."
You fight the urge to glare at your 'husband'. He was eating this up, putting you in an awkward position and watching you get all flustered after such an argument earlier.
"Honey, would you assist me please," you hiss and tug Spencer out of his chair.
"What the hell is this?" You whisper shout at him when you both get into the bathroom.
"Thought it might be fun," he smiles mischievously.
"Are you serious?" You smack his arm. "How am I supposed to focus with you and that damned remote... You are such an asshole."
"Like I said, it might be fun," he exits the bathroom with a cocky wink.
You didn't know where this sudden shift in him came from. Perhaps the fact that the two of you have been playing these rolls for five weeks and were pent up after constantly being tossed into sexual scenarios and fighting all the time. He just changed the game.
You hesitantly pull on the thong and adjust the vibrator against your clit where it's meant to sit. This is insane. Yet you find yourself coiled tight with excitement at Spencer controlling your pleasure... that was new.
You pull up your skirt and exit the bathroom with your head held high. If he wants to play, let's play. You toss your original underwear at his chest and sit in his lap. You hear his breathing hitch in shock but he plays it off as natural.
"How do we know she's actually wearing them?" John, the unsub, purrs.
Spencer holds up the small oval shaped pink remote and presses the center button with nimble fingers. You jolt in his lap as the vibrator hums to life against your sensitive core. You grip the back up his neck and squeeze your legs together.
"Okay!" You bite out.
He switches it off with a sinister sort of chuckle.
You feel wetness gather between your folds as you adjust yourself on his lap and turn to the others who were exchanging gifts.
“I bet you’re wet already,” he turns it on the lowest setting and nips at your ear. “I’m sure it’s not because of me though. It’s just your body reacting,” he purrs condescendingly.
You elbow his abdomen and shift in his lap which prompts him to turn it off.
-
"This was great, thanks for coming!" Cara hugs you as you and Spencer exit her house.
Luckily he had only pressed the button one more time when John seemed to be inspecting you for signs of him using it. That was until you dropped into the passenger seat of his car.
He flicks the vibrator on seemingly a low setting and stares at you as he backs out of the driveway. You don't give him the satisfaction of responding but have to sit up straighter.
He moves his thumb up to the next, more intense setting and you can't hide your response. You squeeze your legs together and bite down on your lip.
"You are infuriating," you spit at him. You dig your nails into his forearm and tilt your head back. God it felt so good, you hadn't had an orgasm in so long.
"Spencer," you draw out the warning. A moan escapes you though.
"So pretty when you moan," he breathes. He focuses on the road, the streetlight flashing over him as he drives. You don't miss his fingers gripping the steering wheel. "So much better than when you argue with me," he smiles at himself.
You drag his free arm over to you and force him to press the vibrator harder against you.
He obliges and flattens his palm between your spread legs, the sight of his strong arm there is intoxicating. You try to remember why you guys were arguing but come up with nothing.
"Spencer," you whimper and find yourself grinding yourself against the vibrator and his hand. "Please," you cry out as your legs start to shake.
Your orgasm fires through every nerve in your body, leaving chills all over. You let out a series of whimpers as you cum, the orgasm leaving you feeling deflated against the seat when he turns off the vibrator.
You glance over at him where he is trying desperately to keep his eyes on the road. But you eye his cock straining against his pants.
"Pull into this parking garage," you point ahead.
He glances at you in confusion with furrowed eyebrows but obliges.
"Get out of the car," you order when he parks on the empty top floor. He hurries out of the black SUV and you don't hesitate to grab the collar of his shirt.
You crash your lips into his hungrily until he's leaning back against the driver's side door. His tongue greedily invades your mouth and he tastes better than anyone else you've ever kissed. His large hands explore your waist and run up your back as he moans into the kiss.
Your hand finds the back door handle and you swing it open, shoving him in with a giggle. Both of you scoot in until you're straddling him, you can feel his erection against you.
"Are you sure?" He asks as you rip his shirt open.
"Shut up, Spence," you pant and kiss him hard with your hands in his hair. He flips the vibrator on, causing you to jump. "Damn it, Spencer," you groan and take the remote from him. You turn it off and throw it in the trunk.
He smiles and lets out an amused huff when you shuffle out of the thong. You lean back and undo his pants, pulling his impressive cock free.
"Oh," you gasp.
"You can do it," he praises as he slips his fingers into your cunt. You soak his fingers instantly, earning a satisfied moan from him.
You grip his hair near the back of his neck and angle yourself above it. Your pussy clenches with need as you ease down.
"Fucking hell," he throws his head back. "You're so tight."
"You started this, you better fuck me properly before you cum," you growl in his ear.
"Still talking shit?" He challenges you and bucks his hips upward.
You cry out as his entire cock is shoved inside of you, forcing you to stretch to his girth.
"You..." you start but then he grips your ass and thrusts upward again. You claw at his shoulders.
"I what?" He glances at you, his mouth agape as he watches you take his cock with each thrust he gives you.
His hand curls around your throat and he picks up speed as you hover slightly over him so he can fuck you deep. He trails his hand up and grips your jaw while he shoves his pointer and middle finger into your mouth.
"This smart mouth..." he muses. "Sounds so pretty crying out for me."
He snaps his hips hard upward, his cock slamming into your cervix until you scream. While one hand grips your jaw, the other moves to your clit. He massages it harshly, quickly as he fucks you.
You suck on his fingers as tears stream down your face from raw pleasure. He felt unbelievable and you were getting close. You were going to soak him like this. You were a squirter when penetration and clitoral stimulation mixed. You worried he would be disgusted but as you wound tighter you couldn't stop him.
"Fuck," comes your muffled cry.
"Cum for me baby, show me how much you hate me," he teases.
His filthy mouth is the last straw. Your body goes taut and your head rolls back. He takes the opportunity to grip your throat as your walls tighten around his cock, drawing a moan from him. You explode around him, you feel the liquid pouring out of you and down onto him.
"Holy shit," he pants in awe.
"Ah!" You keep cumming as he thrusts into you enthusiastically. He smiles, satisfied as his cock starts to pulse.
His cum fills you deliciously as you roll your hips onto him, greedily taking everything he has. The flesh between the two of you is drenched, its filthy, its so fucking hot.
Your phone rings. Hotch, fuck. You glance at Spencer who is still inside of you and shush him.
"Hotch," you answer the phone. "No nothing of note tonight. He didn't mention the minors."
Spencer tenses his cock inside of you, causing you to bite your lip when you feel his cum dripping out of you.
"Yeah I can send you the photos from his attic, Spencer got some good ones," you start teasing him back by grinding your hips.
You clamp your hand over his mouth as you tease his oversensitive cock by tightening your pussy.
"Yes sir, got it," you tell Hotch and hang up.
"You're impossible," you slap his chest and lift yourself off of him.
"I've never seen that before," Spencer blushes. Actually blushes despite what just happened.
"Seen what?" You ask as you pull your skirt down.
"So much... um so much..." he stumbles over his words.
"You've never been with a squirter?" You ask.
"No," he laughs nervously.
"Cherish it, it's the last time," you smirk and hop out of the car. You watch him adjust himself and fix his clothes through the window.
"We'll see about that," he winks and gets back into the drivers seat. Ugh.
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luveline · 1 year ago
Note
could i request teacher!reader with hotch? like maybe she’s jacks teacher
thank you for your request! fem!reader, 1.2k
You're a teacher: you're always tired. Overworked, underpaid, everybody knows how it goes. And maybe you've let yourself go because you don't have any real material hopes for the future beyond getting Macy Danish to read at a first grade level, but how were you supposed to know that Jack Hotchner's father would be so overwhelmingly attractive? It's not fair. 
He's handsome though older than you'd been expecting, but that isn't the cut and dry of it. When he comes in, it's alone, in a well-fitted suit. He's tall and remarkably dark-eyed, shaking your hand without trying to impose any authority, as some of the fathers tend to do, and when you call him Mr. Hotchner, he says, "Aaron, please," but continues to call you Ms. L/N.
"Aaron," you say, pulling your skirt under your thighs as you sit down. You're dressed in nice clothes for the parent-teacher conferences, but you could've covered your sleeplessness better. "Jack is the nicest boy in class. He's actually my loveliest kid. Um…" You search through your notes for the preliminary assessment of Jack. "Sorry, two seconds." 
"Take your time. I know what it's like to dig through a mountain of paperwork every day." 
"Jack mentioned you work in the government, he calls you a special agent," you say, smiling. "You get the bad guys." 
"I am a special agent. Supervisory." Aaron is conscientious enough to pretend he doesn't notice your surprise. "I'm chief of the behavioural analysis unit." 
You can't even begin to guess what that entails. "Oh," you say breathlessly. 
"I understand that it sounds fantastical." 
"It sounds impressive," you say, floundering to correct yourself. Behavioural analysis? It must be obvious to him how nervous he's making you, then, and when you realise that, you get worse. "I'm so sorry about this. I should be more organised. I usually am." 
"That's alright. Take your time." 
Does he always speak that way? His voice is like fucking silk? Is he messing with you?
You yank the notes you made for Jack from the pile and flatten them across the desk. "Okay, sorry. Like I was saying, Jack is really the nicest kid, him and his friend Molly. They're both lovely, and teachers shouldn't have favourites, please don't tell the other parents, but they're my favourites." You smile at him quickly and return your eyes to the paper. The words swim in front of your eyes. "Jack can read better than you could ever hope for a first grader, he's immensely intelligent for his age group. He's patient. He'll explain anything to anyone if they ask him too, and he does it well." 
"I'm glad to hear that," he says, again so softly. 
You pick up one of your skinny biros to have something to fidget with. He's a very good looking man, but you're a good teacher. You can focus on what to say. Some parents need good things only. Some need reassurement that they're doing a good job. Aaron is harder to read, but you know what he needs, too. 
"He can be lonely," you say, looking him in the eye. "I don't think that that's down to any fault. I'm sure you know better than I do why he might feel that way." You know about his mom's passing over a year ago. You've seen grief in children too many times. "He… I understand if this isn't okay with you, but he eats lunch with me sometimes. I encourage him to sit with his peers, of course, but I think he runs out of energy pretty quickly." 
Aaron nods thoughtfully. His brows quirk into a furrow that you're afraid is directed at you. 
"I don't think he necessarily has trouble connecting with his friends." 
"What do you think?" 
"I think something awful happened to your family, and Jack will feel it for the rest of his life, but that it won't stop him from being great. It already isn't. And… he clearly has a father who loves him and who he admires. You're his second favourite topic." 
"What's his first?" he asks. 
"He's really into Fruity Fridays," you say with a laugh. "I bring in fruits you don't get often in America. Someone would've had to sign a form." 
"No, I remember signing it. He likes that?" His smile is golden. "I can't get him to try new things." 
"He had all the leftover gold kiwi last week." You rub your lips together. Time is ticking. You have nearly thirty parents to see tonight, but talking to Mr. Hotchner has been so normal. He's a regular person in a sea of inattentive helicopter narcissists. It's a relief and a half to meet him and know a kid as gentle as Jack is in good hands. "Mr. Hotchner, I have to tell you, I'm really relieved to meet you." 
"Aaron," he corrects.
Your tone drops too low. "Aaron." 
"I'm more than relieved," he says. "I knew that this year would be harder for him. I didn't know… I'm grateful to you, for being so kind with him." 
You look down at your notes, flushed from head to toe despite your airy skirt. Crossing your legs, you shake your head. "It's my job." 
"To let him take up the only break you get all day?" he asks. 
"It's not like that. Jack doesn't bother me." You fold your notes in half. "I can see his role model measures up." 
"I could say the same thing." 
The next time you see Jack, bright and early Monday mooring shepherded by his aunt Jessica, he's very happy to see you. You offer him a hug and pat his back when he wraps his arms around your hips. "Hello, Jack. Was your dad pleased with your drawings?"
Jack smiles at you. "I have a note for you." 
"You do? Can I see? Where is it, honey?" 
Jack takes off his backpack and pulls out the note and a tupperware container. "Oh, wow, did you make treats for the class? Jack, that's so nice!" 
"No. Dad said those are for you. He said you should have nice for nice, or something," Jack informs you. 
"You'll share with me, though? I can't eat them all by myself," you whisper. 
He nods with enthusiasm and runs off to put his backpack in his cubby and his coat on the hook. You look down at the cookies and note, which is actually an envelope. 
You open it with your thumbnail. The writing is Aaron's usual tight cursive.
Dear Miss L/N, 
I hoped to thank you again in person, but work makes that hard. I appreciate everything you do for Jack. There are teachers who work, and there are teachers who go above and beyond. I can feel confident anywhere in the country knowing Jack is being taught by the latter. 
Gratefully yours, 
Aaron Hotchner. 
P.S. Please don't feed Jack too many cookies. They're not for him. 
You keep the letter even if it's lame to do so. When is the next parent teacher conference, anyways?
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elbiotipo · 11 days ago
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United States politics views everything in demographics ("X% of White Women voted for Biden! X% of Latinos voted for Trump!") instead of, well, actual political and social dynamics. Of course racism, homophobia and other social issues play part in politics. But they are shaped by larger things, and the demographics analysis that US pundits do love to miss those things and focus on sheer numbers and categorization.
This is dangerous because once you say "this demographic is responsible for these politics" you're in the fast track to fascism. As we've seen with liberal Usamericans blaming whole groups of people for Trump's victory. This kind of thinking can only lead to ruin.
Why I am talking about this, even if it's not my own country? Because the US way of political thinking spreads easily through its cultural dominance. It's an individualistic, essentialist way of thinking, which blames supposed characteristics of people instead of understanding their social and material history and conditions (because that might lead to actual change and even worse, Marxism!). If you want to understand why the right wing is rising globally, it's not because some nasty people got together to vote and the good people didn't vote. You have to understand how each society works.
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dustofthedailylife · 8 months ago
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You were not supposed to hear that...yet
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Pairing: Alhaitham x (gn!) Reader
Summary: Alhaitham reveals a secret about the inner workings of his heart to his friends over a cup of wine and in between some banter. However, he did not expect it would go this wrong...
Tags: Fluff, crack, comfort, teasing, consumption of alcohol (by characters), the whole 4ggravate crew is here, friendly banter between friends, a small sprinkle of angst because reader is insecure (but it's unjustified)
A/N: Dust posting a new fic?! Not an April Fool's joke, despite the date! Finally felt inspired and well enough again to finish this fic that has been rotting in my WIPs forever. I hope you like it. And feel free to hit me up with asks and reblogs - it'd motivate me greatly after my long break 🥺
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The usual friend group of Cyno, Kaveh, Tighnari, and him - Alhaitham, was sitting at the Tavern. A gathering like it happened almost every weekend at this point.
The wine bottle on the table had been emptied around two or three times already when Kaveh ordered a new one yet again. At this point, Alhaitham had actually lost count of how many glasses of wine he'd already had, too. But one thing was for certain, he could feel the alcohol in his system and the warm blood that was rushing to his cheeks. All things considered though, despite feeling a little tipsy from the intoxication, he was still able to think clearly.
"Let me guess I'm the one who will have to end up covering your bill again?" He took sarcastic a jab at Kaveh. 
The man in question just squinted his eyes and glared daggers at him before opening his mouth in an attempt to protest before it was quickly shot down by Tighnari's hand covering it.
Alhaitham leisurely leaned back in his chair smirking to himself, training his focus back onto the TCG cards in his hands and considering his next turn of action in the game he was playing against Cyno.
"What, am I just supposed to take it all the time and be quiet?!" Kaveh retorted, directed at Tighnari. The fox's ears were beginning to droop lower and lower as his expression became more and more deadpan.
"You all know as well as I do that if [Y/N] was here he wouldn't be acting like this. He would be on his best behavior and pay for the drinks without so much as complaining or being so cocky."
"By the way," Tighnari attempted to divert the attention away from Kaveh's ranting. "Where are they? Didn't you say they wanted to stop by the Tavern as well today, Alhaitham?"
Alhaitham played his round, throwing his card Cyno's way before looking up at Tighnari again.
"They mentioned it but I suppose something must've come up instead. I will ask tomorrow."
"Isn't it strange?" Kaveh addressed the others. "Whenever it involves [Y/N] he graciously offers himself up to talk to them and seek them out but whenever someone else is looking for him he is nowhere to be found."
"Maybe you just can't find me because I simply don't have anything to discuss with you." Alhaitham threw another jab at Kaveh with a smirk, which was promptly followed by a light punch against his bicep by the blonde architect.
"What? I constantly have to talk to you already when we're at ho-"
"SHHH! Don't say that out loud." Kaveh hissed, quickly covering Alhaitham's mouth in panic, since he didn’t want him to spell out that they were currently living together. “It's embarrassing enough that I currently have no other choice, no need to add to my misery.”
A witty quip was burning at the tip of Alhaitham's tongue after Kaveh's remark yet again, but he decided to swallow it. He didn't want to upset him too much, especially since he knew he'd had it rough lately. Even if it would've been said in jest, there was no need to add insult to injury. Instead, he simply resorted to taking another sip of his wine with a low chuckle and a glance in the blonde architect’s direction.
“Aaaaanyway…”, Tighnari cleared his throat, addressing Alhaitham once more. “What is it between [Y/N] and you anyway? You've become quite close haven't you?”
“That's an understatement.” Kaveh groaned, dropping his head on his folded arms on the table dramatically. “He can't stop talking about them. Day in and day out it’s [Y/N]-this, [Y/N]-that.”
“We started working on a project about six months ago. Things are progressing quite smoothly if I do say so myself. Certainly makes things easier if you're working with someone who is both hardworking and intelligent in every way. I’ve been lucky to have been assigned to the project with them.” Alhaitham answered Tighnari’s question rationally while ignoring Kaveh’s dramatic display.
“Here he goes again.” Kaveh huffed, directing his comment at Cyno and Tighnari. “Whenever he talks about them you hear nothing but praises.”
“If someone is doing a great job, is it not logical to give them the credit they deserve?” Alhaitham added matter of factly.
“No… I mean yes, but no. It's just not something I'd see you doing. It’s so out of character.” Kaveh huffed. “And before you say anything, yes, maybe I just don't know that side of you because I don't give you any reason to praise me. No need to add that, thank you.”
Kaveh poked his tongue out at Alhaitham before taking a big sip from his wine.
“Why, if you want to be praised you just need to say so, Kaveh. I think you're quite brilliant - your shortcomings aside.” He just had to add that last bit. Kaveh was just way too easy to tease. And what would this friend group be without the playful banter and jabs at each other?
Kaveh choked on the drink immediately and slammed his cup down onto the table with a loud clang. A fire burned behind his crimson eyes when he spoke next.
“This is exactly what I meant, thanks for proving my point!”
Kaveh looked at Cyno and Tighnari gesturing in the direction of Alhaitham with a move that said “Do you see what I mean now?”.
Tighnari just facepalmed and shook his head.
“And what is your point exactly?” Cyno inquired, playing a card from his hand.
“Did you not listen to what he said?” Kaveh gasped.
“Not really,” Cyno admitted honestly, his eyes trained back on the cards in his hands.
“It's the fact that he can praise others too, but never without also pointing out their faults in the same sentence. Did no one ever notice that? However, he never does that when it's [Y/N].” Kaveh explained.
“And?” Tighnari and Cyno replied in unison, looking puzzled as to where Kaveh wanted to go with this.
Kaveh put his head in his hand and groaned in frustration. “Sometimes you all make me feel like I am surrounded by idiots.”
Now everyone raised their eyebrows at him.
“You're all so clueless… anyway.” He sighed dramatically and accusingly pointed a finger at Alhaitham. “This guy. This admittedly handsome but blockheaded, know-it-all, stoic, annoying-”
“Get to the point.” Alhaitham chided, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Fine, fine." Kaveh spread his arms like he was holding a presentation and Alhaitham his canvas.
“This guy's right here, as alien as it may sound – has fallen in love.” 
“You're in love?!” Cyno exclaimed his eyes widening. “With who?!”
Tighnari rolled his eyes, knowing full well Cyno hadn't listed at all the past ten minutes because he had been so absorbed in his cards, and gently slapped the back of his head.
“[Y/N], of course!” The Forest Ranger exclaimed with a huff.
Cyno, now rubbing the back of his head just ushered a “Wait really?” while Kaveh and Tighnari just curiously began eyeing Alhaitham in the hope of seeing any type of confirmation on his face. However, it stayed as unreadable as ever.
He nonchalantly took another sip of wine from his cup while leisurely looking back and forth between the cards on the table and the ones in his hand before playing another turn as if this conversation just now hadn't happened.
“So!?” Kaveh asked, almost hysterically at this point. “Do you intend to enlighten us?”
Just how had he gotten into this situation now? Alhaitham suppressed a sigh before turning to Cyno: “Your turn. Two of your cards are down.”
“Archons!” Cyno cussed, immediately attempting to go back to study his cards but a fist slammed the table harshly, drawing all attention to it.
Tighnari flinched in shock and Cyno, too seemed to be pulled back to reality. Kaveh’s hand was trembling slightly, visibly agitated.
“Stop changing the subject, Alhaitham. The more you keep avoiding answering the question the more I think I am right in my assumptions.”
Alhaitham pinched the bridge of his nose beginning to truly feel a little stressed by Kaveh’s insistance. The man was truly too nosy for his good.
“Kaveh, just let it be if he doesn’t-” Tighnari began before being cut off by Alhaitham.
“And what if you are right? What then, Kaveh?”
Everyone at the table fell silent and everyone was staring at him with a mix of disbelief and shock.
He hadn't planned to reveal any of this yet, especially since he feared they would try to become his wingman. Which, admittedly, may be a nice gesture on paper but with them it could only end in disaster. Plus he would prefer to deal with his feelings alone first and think them through thoroughly, before talking about them with anyone. Besides, it should be you, if anyone, who should hear about them first - alas he was too deep into this now to weasel his way out.
“What?!” Kaveh’s mouth hung open in shock.
“So it is true then?” Cyno inquired, putting the card in his hand down on the table, now suddenly fully hooked on the tea that was being spilled.
“Hold on. Pause.” Kaveh sat upright, before quickly gazing over Alhaitham’s shoulder. “So you-”
“For Archon’s sake.” Alhaitham was beginning to get annoyed because he didn't know how much clearer he had to become for them to get it. “Yes - I’ve been in love with them. For a while now-”
“Alhaitham-” Kaveh tried to interject.
“No, don't interrupt me now, you pestered me about it for the past twenty minutes now you'll have to listen. I have never met anyone who is so hardworking, intelligent, and stunning in any way. Of course, I would be infatuated with a person like them. It would be hard not to fall for them.”
“Uhm Alhai–” Kaveh laughed awkwardly before being interrupted by Alhaitham’s ongoing monologue once more.
“At first I wasn't sure about it but I am now. I am thinking about them first thing in the morning and last thing when I go to sleep - unless you're hammering away on some project again that keeps me awake, Kaveh.”
Kaveh waved for him to shut up already but Alhaitham didn't let that bother him. If he wanted the full story with all the details - he'd get it. He hoped that would get this discussion out of the way once and for all.
“And guess what? They even remembered how I liked my coffee just after I told them once and gifted me a book that I had been trying to find for weeks. So yes, Kaveh. I love [Y/N]. There, does that suffice now, or?”
Kaveh let out a squeal as soon as Alhaitham had stopped speaking but upon further inspection of his expression, it hadn't been one of excitement but rather pure terror and awkwardness. 
“Alhaitham…” Cyno and Tighnari said in unison and he only then noticed as well how their gaze was trained on a spot behind him.
“What?” Alhaitham inquired, curling a brow up in confusion before all three men pointed their fingers at something behind him.
When he turned his head around to look at what they were trying to show him, he felt his heart drop to his stomach for the first time in ages.
To his utter shock, you were standing right behind him. Or rather, you were frozen in place, your hand still half lifted in greeting as if you had just been about to greet the lot of them. Your mouth was slightly open in shock still and your pupils were but the size of pinpricks and transfixed on Alhaitham.
And judging by your reaction you must've heard every last word he had said.
“I-I…” You started stammering, clearly confused about what you had just heard. “I uh-, I'll head back home.”
You abruptly turned around on your heel and marched straight out the Tavern door you had just come through as if someone was chasing you.
Alhaitham hadn't moved a muscle ever since he had spotted you standing behind him and he looked like he was frozen in place. Everyone at the table had fallen so silent, one would've been able to hear a needle drop.
Alhaitham's eyes were still fixed on the door you had left through. The little bell that chimed every time the Tavern door hit it on the way in or out was still dangling lightly from the impact. But the movement was dying down slowly but surely - just like Alhaitham, who felt like someone had dropped a boulder on his chest.
You were not supposed to hear that, yet.
“You uh…, Alhaitham you should probably follow them.” Tighnari was the first to speak again. He awkwardly scratched behind his ears. Cyno hummed in agreement while Kaveh just sat there with his mouth wide open.
Alhaitham exhaled in frustration, unable to properly place his emotions. But they were somewhere between unsettled, nervous, and discomforted.
When he got up it felt like someone had tied heavy iron blocks to his ankles that were weighing him down.
“Yeah, I guess I do,”  Alhaitham muttered before marching off.
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When you stormed outside the Tavern the cool evening breeze gnawed at your skin and made goosebumps erupt all over. Although you weren't quite sure if it was the temperature or your emotional turmoil at play here.
There was no way Alhaitham had just said that and actually meant it. He wouldn't be the type of man to flat-out admit that he had feelings for anyone. Or would he? He had been talking to his closest friends after all.
You were questioning your sense of reality and thought you must've fabricated it all in your mind. Or maybe you misheard what he said and he was talking about something else entirely.
But no, he said your name, and the others looked panicked when you entered the tavern and approached the table.
As you rushed through the streets of Sumeru City the chilly wind kept whipping in your face. Not even you knew where you were going at this point. You simply went where your feet were carrying you.
But eventually, you realized you had run up the Akademiya and to the blue-green mosaic pavilion that glistened in the last rays of sunlight. The spot at which you and Alhaitham often spent your lunch break together. 
You sunk down on the bench exhaustedly and stared holes in the ground.
No way.
There was just no way.
Alhaitham. The man you had fallen for so hard that he had begun to occupy every waking thought you had. That man was supposed to have feelings for you and had just flat-out admitted it?
No, this simply had to be a dream. A bad joke. Or maybe even a bet between the group that they orchestrated to prank you.
You could feel your heart thumping in your head and it felt like your head was swimming. It was as if you had downed an entire bottle of wine by yourself, but you were as sober as one could be.
Yes, that had to be it. It was a bet between the boys over one too many cups of wine and they had all acted their parts out flawlessly.
You got up again walking to the railing, overlooking Sumeru city that shone majestically in the last remaining rays of sunshine that the day had to offer. Another gush of wind blew your way, making tears well up in your eyes. Although it may have also been your emotions who were to blame for that instead.
You inhaled deeply. Once. Twice. But nothing seemed to help calming the rapidly beating heart in your chest.
In your daze, you completely missed how someone had quietly come up to the pavilion as well.
Alhaitham leaned against the railing himself, looking over the city in silence, too. He was clearly ringing for words. Although you assumed the wrong reason for his struggle.
“Look,” you began, trying your hardest to suppress the tremble in your voice. “If you came here to apologize - please, spare me your words.”
He looked at you opening his mouth before closing it again right after with a silent nod. His cheeks were dusted in a light pink shade - you assumed it was caused by the alcohol he had downed at the tavern with the others.
“I hope that we can go back to normal tomorrow and just finish our project. I’d prefer if we kept our distance after that. I think it’s for the best” The words left your mouth at normal speed, but it felt like you had to force every single one out. They felt tenacious, like old chewing gum that you tried to pull out from in between your teeth.
“I understand.” He stated calmly before retraining his gaze back into the distance. 
You both kept standing next to each other in silence for a long while before you decided to confront him about it directly. You eventually decided it was for the best if you got things off your chest now so that you could get over him quickly. Ripping it off like a band-aid would hopefully give you the relief you so desperately craved right now.
“You know,” you began. “I don’t know who came up with the idea and I also don’t care, no need to tell me. But you guys should never do this to anyone again because you never know how much it might end up hurting someone else’s feelings.”
Alhaitham stood upright and turned to face you directly. He crossed his arms over his chest and slightly cocked his head like he always did when he was thinking about something you said.
After a momentary pause, he asked: “What do you mean?”
“I mean that you shouldn’t toy with someone’s feelings as a prank. It’s never actually funny for anyone but the people who orchestrate such a prank. No matter if the other person reciprocates the feelings or whether they believe the statement, they always end up being the one who is being ridiculed.” You explained as rationally as possible, which was a stark contrast to the tempest that was raging both inside of your heart and mind.
“Especially when the person hoped to hear those exact words for the longest time, too…” You added. It wasn't more than an utterance under your breath - so quietly it was barely audible. But Alhaitham heard nonetheless.
“But I meant everything I said.” He stated matter of factly, seemingly catching on to the fact that you must’ve assumed the wrong things about the whole situation.
“What?! Alhaitham, please, there is no need to add insult to injury. You had your fun now–”
“No.” He gently took your hands in his, exhaling heavily. “Archons, you weren’t supposed to find out like this.”
He rarely swore which made the impact of his words even stronger.
“I wanted to tell you face to face and was waiting for the right moment to do so. But, just know that every word you heard and everything I said back at the tavern was the truth. No bet or scheme made me say it. Not that anyone would be able to make me say these things in the first place.” He sighed once more, giving your hands an emphasizing squeeze. “I meant it.”
“You did?”
“Every word.”
You felt the blood rush to your face and immediately lowered your gaze in an attempt to hide your flusteredness.
“Had I known this would happen, I would’ve told you everything right from the start. I don’t like how this went now but–”, he moved his hands up to cup your face. His beautiful turquoise eyes trained on no one but you. 
“I’m absolutely certain I like you. You drive me crazy. And I love and hate how much you occupy every waking thought of mine because I can’t focus on anything when you’re around. And when you’re not, you’re still always on my mind. So please – be mine.”
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Do not repost, copy, translate or edit - © dustofthedailylife || reblogs, comments, and asks about Genshin or my fics are always greatly appreciated and motivate me! Maple dividers are mine - do not copy.
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jazzyoranges · 1 year ago
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Harleys in Hawaii
Tara Carpenter x fem!reader
Summary: you’re Tara’s older girlfriend
Words: 4.5k
A/n: listen to harleys in hawaii
Warnings: i didn’t feel like editing or spell checking sorry bout that 💀, age gap (Tara is 22/23, you’re 27), drinking, kissing, fade to black sex, R is implied to dress more masculine, also Scream 6 doesn’t exist cause Anika is alive 😇
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Tara has gone through 3 girlfriends and 5 boyfriends in the span of 5 months. Currently, she’s having an intervention on how and why. Well, the core four’s version of an intervention at least
“Dude, you have to teach me how to get a girlfriend” Chad begs, and Mindy laughs
“Why am I even here? You guys suck at interventions. If anything, this is the opposite of one”
This time, her sister chimes in. “We’re here because you’ve been going through partners like pairs of clothes. Why are you dating all these people?”
“I don’t know!” Tara groans “In the beginning it’s to be fun dating someone, but after a week it feels like a chore”
“Wow, never knew you of all people would have the same mindset of a frat boy” This earns Mindy a slap on her shoulder from Anika, who was cuddled into her
“Shut up Mindy.” the younger Carpenter spits out
“So you date people and drop them ‘cause they don’t give you the thrill of being in a relationship?” Chad says and everyone in the room goes silent. Momentarily, he stops throwing his tennis ball up in the air
“…Did I say something wrong?”
“Never knew you could be smart, Chad”
“Sometimes I wish we weren’t related.”
“Is that it, Tara?” Sam asks “You just want the thrill of dating?”
“When you put it that way, I guess? I dunno, I haven’t really met anyone exciting. You’d think there’d be fun people in New York”
“You just haven’t met the right person, Tara. I’m sure there’s someone for you, you just suck at looking”
“Oh, really? Where am I supposed to look, then?”
“I dunno, definitely not where you’re looking right now” Mindy shrugs, and Tara sighs at how helpful her friends are
You meet you coworker’s sister when her and her friends decide to have a study session at the small coffee shop you and Sam work at. You and the older Carpenter instantly clicked as friends. Sam knew you knew about the Woodsboro killings, but you knew not to trust the media entirely. After a few weeks of talking to her, you didn’t understand how Sam could be accused of such disgusting things
Your friendship solidified when you ‘accidentally’ spilled an ice cream sundae on some girl who was being mean to her. Of course you were fired the next day, but Sam left with you, opting to work at a smaller coffee shop run by a nice old man and his lovely wife
Sam considered you a good friend, and she trusted you with being around her sister. Luckily the old couple who ran the shop were kind and trusting, and let Sam’s sister and friends use the coffee shop after hours for late-night studying. It was maybe about 6:30pm when the shop officially closed, and the study session started. Sam insisted she stay by herself, but you didn’t want her to be lonely while watching her kids friends study
Personally, you thought it was far too late to study, but you also hadn’t been to school in 3 years. Soft music was playing while the group studied and you and Sam cleaned up the shop here and there
Tara tried to focus on her work, she really did. After a few glances in your direction and many “sorry, what did you say?”’s later, Mindy finally decided to comment on Tara’s behavior. I mean, could she really be mad? You were breathtaking. Your shirt hugged your arms and torso just the right way, you hand a very pretty face, most of all, you were-
“Alright, what’s up with you? You’ve been distracted this entire time”
“I’m not distracted, I’m listening” Tara lied straight through her teeth, and Mindy just looked at her in suspicion
“You’ve seemed out of it this entire study session, you okay?” Anika reached to rub Tara’s shoulder
“Uh, y-yeah” Tara turned around in her seat looking for you. When she saw you were either in the break room or the bathroom, Tara leaned in closer to the group and so did her friends
“Sam’s friend is really hot.”
“Understandable” Chad nods
“Definitely ask her out”
“Like hell I am, Mindy!” Tara whisper-shouts
You’re about to leave for the night. Gathering your jacket, helmet, and keys from your locker, you barely make it out of the break room before one of Sam’s friends calls you over
“Hey, Sam’s coworker! Are you good at algebra?
“A little above average, why do you ask? You walk over to the booth they’re studying at. You miss the glare the brunette gives to her friend
Mindy motions to Tara “My friend over here is having a little trouble, and we’re all not really good at explaining. Could you help her?”
“Also,” the twin points at each of her friends “Anika, Chad, Tara, and I’m Mindy”
You pull up a chair to sit next to Tara “Y/N, nice to meet all of you. Sam says lots of good things”
“Likewise, Sam told us about what you did for her. We all appreciate it” Anika smiles
“Those girls were assholes,” you shrug “they deserved it.” Now focusing on Tara, you met her eyes while the rest of the group fell into discussion
“So, what exactly do you need help with?”
Tara tries to listen to what you’re saying, but everything is going in one ear and out the other with your proximity to her. You make simple small talk with Tara, and she notes how the corners of your eyes crinkle when you laugh. The brunette learns you’re about the same age as her sister, you have a second job as a mechanic, and you owned a motorcycle (in which her interest was immediately peaked).
A few hours of conversation and studying later, the group decides they’re finished. They pile into Sam’s car to be dropped off at their respective apartments. Unfortunately due to a little clutter, there isn’t enough room for Tara in the car (which is surprising since she’s incredibly small, but you decide to hold your tongue this time)
“Cmon, guys, can’t you make some room?” the brunette groans
“You could ride with Y/n,” Sam suggests “I trust her to get you home”
“Yeah, I got an extra helmet in my locker, I’ll go get it” You jog back to the shop, and you’re back a minute later with a helmet in one hand, and a hoodie in the other. Your hoodie, Tara thinks
“Here, it gets cold. Is this your first time?”
“Yeah, I’ve never been on a motorcycle before…” Tara says nervously, and she has to stop herself from taking a big whiff of your hoodie around her
“No worries! If you get scared just squeeze my thigh and I’ll pull over, okay? Also, make sure to hold on tight” You put the helmet on Tara, inspecting her to make sure it’s on correctly
“Geez, it feels like I’m an astronaut” Tara laughs, flipping up the visor
“Doesn’t it? I always feel like a bobble head or something when I’m in it” You teach Tara how to get on, and soon enough you’re on the road following Sam’s car
Tara’s arms were snugly wrapped around your torso, and she was absolutely having the time of her life. The helmet she was wearing smelled like you and it was absolutely intoxicating. Not to mention how your hoodie sat comfortably on her body — almost like it was meant for her to wear. Deciding to be bold, Tara decides to hug you tighter
When you two eventually stop at a stoplight, you hold out a thumbs up, questioning if Tara is comfortable. The brunette responds with a thumbs up of her own, and the slow circles she’s making with her thumb under your shirt that leave a trail of goosebumps behind
First Sam stops at Mindy and Anika’s, then Chads. Since there’s more room in the car Tara doesn’t actually need to stay with you, but she’s practically glued to your back. The brunette decides to be greedy and hold on
A few minutes later, you two reach Tara and Sam’s apartment complex. When you come to a stop the younger Carpenter gets off first, and you follow after
“So, how was your first time on a motorcycle? Scary?”
“Honestly? Not really. I trust you won’t crash, or else Sam’ll get real mad at you” Taking off her helmet, you get the pleasure of seeing Tara smile again. She starts to take off your hoodie, but you stop her before she does
“Keep it, I already have a bunch of other hoodies and jackets at my place”
“Are you sure?”
“I wouldn’t be saying it if I wasn’t sure, Carpenter”
“You’re an ass” Tara rolls her eyes and playfully hits your arm
“Nice meeting you and your friends, by the way. I’ll see you guys around” After you wave bye and hop back on your motorcycle Tara watches you leave, pulling your hoodie closer to her body
Study sessions at the coffee shop after closing time became more and more regular. Sometimes it’s just Sam closing up, and other times it’s just you. Tara still regrets telling the group about her very tiny minuscule crush on you, since you’re now used as blackmail to get Tara to go anywhere
“Wanna go to the movies?”
“Sorry, I have to finish an essay”
“Y/n’s gonna be there” Mindy says in a sing-song tone
“Fuck you.” Tara groans before grabbing her jacket, fully expecting to be invited for a motorcycle ride from you
At first Tara only saw you during study sessions at the coffee shop. It was the same story almost every time. There wouldn’t be enough room in Sam’s car, you’d drive Tara home, and if she was lucky you’d stop at a 7 Eleven for slushees and a snack
When Sam invites you to a game night with the group, you happily accept the invitation. With a bottle of wine in your left hand, you make some final adjustments to your outfit before knocking. Smoothing out your shirt, you hear a familiar voice behind the door
“So, are you gonna stand there or are you going to knock?” The younger Carpenter teases, and she can practically hear you roll your eyes when you scoff
“I was making myself presentable” You shrug, hearing the click of the door as Tara opens it
“Whatever,” The shorter girl laughs “You’re kinda early so you can wait on the couch or something” She takes the bottle of wine from your hands, setting down on a table
“Geez, don’t people have manners nowadays? I thought it was a given to arrive early”
“I think that’s just you being old”
“You’re mean.” Tara’s face collides with a pillow as she turns around and the brunette can faintly hear you say ‘headshot!’ in an excited voice
“Me? Mean? You just assaulted me!”
“You’ll live. Mario Kart?” You wave a second controller in her direction with the game already booted up, and Tara takes her seat next to you on the floor
The next few minutes are spent casually trash-talking each other. When you get particularly close to winning Tara shoves you to the floor, causing you to lose. A smug grin adorns her face when you throw another pillow at her
“Stop throwing pillows at me!” Tara laughs
“You quite literally shoved me to the floor ‘cause you’re not as good as me”
“Shut up, you’ve have more experience”
“Are you calling me old again?” You say in a dramatic tone, and the door rings a whole 20 minutes after the rest of the group is supposed to show up. Sam lets them in, and you wave hello. Mindy gives Tara a look you don’t recognize, but Chad quickly challenges you to another game of Mario Kart
The twin tried his best, he really did. He took the shortcuts, chose the best character, and even optimized his power-ups. But alas, his efforts were rendered useless as you casually mopped the floor with his ass. The scoreboard with your name at the top is enough for Chad to groan in defeat
“Dude, how are you so good?”
“I guess I just have more experience”
“So you can say it but I can’t?” You end up sticking your tongue out at Tara like a child
“Whatever. You guys got any other games?”
“We have Uno” Sam suggests
Oh how foolish she was.
Arguing, wine, and lots of popcorn later, you’re currently in a battle for 4th place with Tara. Fifteen minutes after Chad won 3rd, both of you insisted a 4th place winner. When you put down a plus four twice in a row, the group only groans
“Please are you two almost done?”
“It’s Uno. How about we play another game?” Chad pleads
“Absolutely not. I refuse to lose to a girl that’s basically half my height.”
“Half your height!? You’ll probably be balding by 30!”
“You take that back!” You slam a hand against the table, and your friends can’t tell if they should intervene or watch the argument play out. They choose the latter
Shallow insults are exchanged between you two and the rest of the group finally understands both of you aren’t serious. They decide to leave you two to pick up some pizza, and you’re far too busy arguing how you’re not going to go bald at 30. Really, whose idea was it to give the most competitive people copious amounts of wine?
Eventually your arguing dies down, leaving you both giggling like middle school kids when they see their crush. The absurdity of the situation paired with the wine you both drank made a very fun combo
“Sorry I said you’d bald by 30” Tara leans onto your shoulder and you lay your head atop hers
“It’s okay. Sorry I said you were half my height… even if it’s true” You smile and Tara hits your arm while suppressing a grin
“You mind if I sleep here tonight? Pretty sure I can’t drive my baby in this state”
“Your baby?”
“My motorcycle. Her name is Elizabeth” You nudge her shoulder
“You named your motorcycle?
“It’s how you create attachment, Tara. You name everything so you care more about it”
“God, you’re a weirdo.” The younger Carpenter leans into you even further
“You never answered my question”
“Hmm… I think Sam wouldn’t mind”
“But would you mind?”
“No, you’re my friend”
A comfortable silence passes between you two. Tara, half asleep on your shoulder; and you, trying to formulate a plan to get Tara in her bed. The only good idea you’ve thought of is carrying her, so that’s what you decide to do
Tara makes a sound then holds onto your shirt as you scoop her up from the couch. There’s a feeling in her stomach she can’t quite place when your arms wrap around her. You’re warm, and Tara only wants to get closer to your body heat
“Tara, honey, where’s your room?” You whisper. The pet name accidentally slips, and you hope the younger girl doesn’t notice.
Oh but she does
Tara notices and opts to bury her head in you chest, pointing in the direction of her room. She can feel her face warm up immediately
You open up the door all the way with your foot, and lay Tara down in her bed. You’re about to leave to probably sleep on the couch, but you feel a hand around your wrist and Tara mumble something sleepily
“You alright, Tar?” You bend down
“Please stay… don’t go.” The younger Carpenter whispers, and you wouldn’t be able to hear her if not your close proximity
“I’ll be in the living room, don’t worry. I don’t drink and drive”
“No, I mean stay here.”
“You… You want me to stay in your room?”
Tara nods.
“I- I don’t know, Tara.” You were hesitant to accept her invitation.
“I won’t be far, I promise”
“I don’t care you’re older than me.”
“W-What?”
“Please, you make me so happy. People my age are so dull…” Tara takes your hand in her own, playing with your fingers
“You don’t mean that, Tar. You’re drunk and tired. How about you get some sleep, hm?” You say in the softest voice you can manage, pushing away the thoughts of how badly you just want to hold Tara in your arms again
“Y/n…” Something in you shifts when the brunette says your name in her sleep-drunk state. You notice the pleading look in her eyes, and it’s difficult to imagine saying no to her
“I can’t say no to you.” You sigh, taking off your jacket before getting in bed. Tara immediately curls up against your chest like it’s the most natural thing ever and you wrap your arms around her waist like it’s second nature
“Thank you. I really like you, Y/n”
“If you end up regretting this I’ll pretend like nothing’s happened if you want”
“No!” Both you and Tara are surprised by her tone
“I- I mean no. I promise I won’t regret this. Regret… you.” She says in a smaller voice
“Do you like me too?” Tara looks up at you with hope in her eyes and your heart melts at the sight
“I don’t know, Tara. Part of me thinks this is wrong, and the other part just wants to spend time with you.”
“Ever since… Amber, you’ve helped me move on” This was the most Tara has opened up about her late girlfriend. Of course the group told you a few tiny things about her here and there, but you hadn’t heard from Tara straight up. You knew this was a very hard and difficult subject even as time continued to pas
“You don’t need to feel like you have to tell me about her, Tara. How about we sleep? You’ll have a clearer mind tomorrow” Pressing a kiss against her forehead, your girlfriend(?) smiles
“…can I wear your shirt?”
“I’m right here, you know”
“I wanna be closer to you”
“Go actually get ready for bed, Tara. I know you don’t wanna sleep with makeup on” The brunette gets up to leave but decides to double back and give you a kiss on the cheek, leaving you a subtle lipstick mark
You hate how she makes you all giddy like a teenager in love.
Getting up to ask Tara if she has an oversized hoodie you could sleep in, you’re caught in the hallway by Sam. You only notice how bad it looks you’re walking out Tara’s room with messy hair, ruffled clothes, and a noticeable kiss on your cheek. You’re quick to wipe it off and smooth out your hair a second later
“Sam, it’s not what it looks like.” You say quickly
“I dunno, it really looks like you’re fucking my sister”
“I-It’s not like that! She- I uh-“
“Listen, I don’t mind you’re dating my sister. Would’ve wished you told me, though”
“That’s the thing! I have no idea what we are” You look behind to look for Tara before turning back to Sam
“She said she really liked me, but then she’s also drunk, but then she also kissed me. What if she doesn’t actually mean it? What if she regrets this? What if-” You’re talking quickly and about to start pacing around before Sam grounds you by holding onto your shoulders
“I trust you, Y/n. You’re my friend. I trust you’ll take good care of my sister”
The older Carpenter gives you a quick hug before leaving to her own room, leaving you staring at nothing as the door to the bathroom clicks open
“Y/n? You alright?” Tara pulls you into a hug, shoving her face in your neck
“Y-Yeah, do you have a hoodie I could sleep in?”
“Mmm… I think I have one in your size” The shorter girl leads you to her closet. A few seconds of searching lands you a hoodie with an album cover you don’t recognize. Tara notices your confusion
“Tyler the creator”
“Is he any good?”
“Well duh, I wouldn’t have him on a hoodie if he wasn’t”
“Okay smart ass, no need to be mean” You feign annoyance and the brunette can only roll her eyes and drag you into bed for the second time this night
Both of you get into position again. Tara’s arms securely wrapped around your torso, and your arms that bring her closer to your neck. You decide it isn’t so bad you’re in love with Tara Carpenter
You and Sam meet the rest of the group at their college. The lovely older couple that ran the coffee shop insisted you two spent time with Tara. They may as well be your parents with how much they treat you and Sam like their own kin. With the rest of the day to spoil Tara, you happily jump onto her with open arms while spewing a slew of praises and compliments
Your girlfriend should probably be embarrassed at how loud your affection is, but it’s New York. Who really cares? When you’re done being yourself, Sam also gives Tara a bear hug
“So, what’re the plans, birthday girl?” Mindy asks
“Honestly? I just wanna spend time with you guys”
“How disgustingly cute. I think that’s a great idea, babe”
“Are you kidding?” Chad speaks up “The last time we all spent time together, you two were fighting for 4th place in Uno. Fourth place!”
“I think you’re being over dramatic, bud”
“You looked like you were about to flip the fucking table when Tara made you draw 12 cards”
“Like I said, stacking is a curse that makes me angry”
“I gotta agree with Chad, here” Sam chimes in “You almost killed Tara because of Jenga”
“It’s not my fault your little sister is a pathological liar and a gaslighter!” The younger Carpenter rolls her eyes
“You’re awfully childish for someone that’s so old” Your girlfriend laughs, making you look away, embarrassed
“It’s not my fault I’m competitive!”
“So, where do you wanna eat out, Tara?” Anika asks “I’ve been starving practically all day”
“Hooters.” The brunette answers almost immediately
“So, birthday girl, what’s it like being 23?”
“A lot like being 22”
“Noting different?”
“Well, this is the first year you’re here to celebrate with me” Tara turns on her side to face you “I guess that’s pretty special”
You copy her actions, now looking at your girlfriend
“Oh yeah? What’s so special about me being here?”
“Please, you really don’t need a bigger ego”
“Aw you’re no fun”
“I’m plenty fun, babe” Tara reaches down to the hem of your shirt, feeling the skin right above your pants
“Mhm, and what type of fun?”
“You’re such a tease.” Your girlfriend rolls her eyes. Both of you are inching closer to each other to close the gap. You blink for half a second, and Tara straddles your lap with a hungry look in her eyes and a smile that highlights her cute dimples
Diving into you, Tara kisses you with fervor and lust. Her kisses are sloppy, but you don’t really care. Currently, the only thing in your mind is Tara’s name on repeat. Both of your clothes are off in only a matter of seconds due to the brunette’s growing eagerness of wanting your fingers inside of her
“A-Are you sure about this?” You mumble in between kisses and pecks
“Absolutely positive, baby.” Your girlfriend’s ever growing wetness smears on the skin of your exposed thigh, making you sigh in delight
“If you don’t want to keep going, just tell me and I’ll-“
“Y/n.” Your head snaps up at the brunette saying your name
“I want this. I want all of you. Drill it into your pretty brain, yeah?” Tara makes an act of lightly drilling her finger into the side of your head, making you laugh
When you kiss Tara for a second time it feels different. Her lips taste sweeter and all you want to do is give her the entire world. Unfortunately you’re only mortal, so you opt to give her a few lot of mind blowing orgasms instead
“So, what’re your plans for the break?”
“We were actually planning a road trip to the beach this weekend to celebrate, and you’re coming”
“No room for debate, huh?” You laugh, swinging an arm over her shoulders “I’ll have to bring my truck, though. Elizabeth is 100% going”
“Sometimes I think you like her more than me”
“You may be my girlfriend, but Elizabeth is my first love” This earns you a punch to the arm via Tara. Although it doesn’t hurt much, you feign a wounded expression and place the back of your hand to your forehead
“Woe is I, for my girlfriend no longer loves me…”
“You’ll be okay” Tara rolls her eyes
“Kiss it better?”
“Please can we have a ride without our helmets?”
“Sam wouldn’t forgive me if we crashed and you weren’t wearing a helmet”
“Please, baby?” Tara uses her best puppy eyes, and she knows they’re working when you look away to resist her charm
“The sunset is beautiful, the back roads are empty, and I want to spend our last moments here on the beach. Don’t you want to see the view, baby?”
You sigh, looking away. This girl was going to be the death of you.
“Well after such a confession, I don’t think I’m able to say anything other than yes” Tara kisses you on the tip of your nose, making it scrunch up just how she liked it
“This is gonna be so aesthetic, babe”
“…Aesthetic?”
“You’re not that old, love”
Before getting on, you take two spare sunglasses from your leather jacket pocket and hold them out for Tara
“Aviator or round?”
“You take the Aviators, I want you to look like one of those guys from Top Gun” Tara takes the sunglasses out of your hand to place them on your face
“Geez, I look more like a biker than a motorcyclist now”
“There’s a difference?”
“I’ll teach you one day. Cmon, the sun’s setting already”
Tara truly believes she’s made it to heaven while you drive. Arms around your waist, the salty breeze, and not to mention the beautiful setting sun. This is what she’s always been craving
Exhilarated is how she’d describe being around you. The simplest touches sent shivers down her spine. The tiniest glances made Tara’s heart giddy with joy. How couldn’t she fall for you? Picture-perfect is what you were. Not boring, not simple, not easy. You were… you
With sand in you hair from previous beach endeavors and a smile wide enough your girlfriend can see just from looking at the back of your head, Tara can’t image herself anywhere but with you
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anjellaufeyson · 9 months ago
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I could treat you better - Bellamy Blake
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Time stamp: 1:38
My boyfriend was lovely–his friend wasn’t. Bellamy Blake was the rudest man I’ve ever come across; I only tolerated him for my boyfriend. 
Murphy kissed me before he got pulled away for work, he was doing guard watch. I sighed, why couldn’t Bellamy do this? He always had Murphy doing everything for him, and I’m sick of it. Whenever Muphy comes back to our tent he’s exhausted or too tired to even spend time with me. I left my tent and walked inside Bellamy’s, he was shirtless and a girl was lying on his bed. I immediately left with a disgusted look on my face. 
Soon he came out searching for me, “What do you want, princess?” 
I palmed my face while we strolled together through Arkadia, “I’d prefer if you wouldn’t call me that, Blake. Especially since some people say that when they’re together.” 
He tilted his head, his eyes gazing into mine, he glanced down with a bit of a smile, “Right, whatever you say, princess.” 
The need to correct and argue with him was there but I ignored it for the sake of Murphy. “okay–can you please stop keeping my boyfriend working late? I’m aware of how things are, like it or not I’m one of the smart ones and I think he’s being overworked and–”
Bellamy’s face showed confusion in itself, “Murphy gets off at the same time as everyone else. I work the late nights, I’m who stays up all night, every night.” 
I stopped moving, trying to process my indecision and incoming sense of betrayal. “Wait, you haven’t been keeping Murphy late or hanging out with him late?” 
He shook his head and crossed his arms, his muscles clenching to his tight shirt. His veins popping out. My eyes tore away, my emotions were my only focus. “No, I don’t think anyone has. We’ve been on a lockdown since Clarke went missing.” 
My brain racked everything Murphy’s ever told me since he began ‘working’ late. I thought of the girl I assumed he had a relationship with but when I questioned him, he brushed me off. Out of anger, I took off leaving Bellamy, who ended up following behind me calling for my name. I moved the tent side and immediately saw Murphy and the girl kissing. They stopped once they noticed me and how distraught I looked. 
I backed up and accidentally bumped into Bellamy’s chest, I didn’t cry. I felt like I should cry, my body begged to cry, but when you did here–it made you seem weak. And I’d never want Murphy to see me cry even though my heart did in return. I turned and tried to shield myself with Bellamy’s chest, but hesitantly he put his arms around me. Trying to comfort me but I knew we both detested each other. He never liked me with Murphy for a reason I am unaware of, and I just never liked him. He brushed his hand up and down my back, almost in circular motions. 
Murphy’s voice appeared from behind me but I didn’t dare to look back because I felt so vulnerable, I knew I would cry. “I need to talk with her, I can explain!”
Bellamy stepped in, holding me closer. His voice was demanding, his tone was deep, “Murphy, you should go. Now. If she wants to talk to you, she’ll do it later.” 
I could hear Murphy protesting before easily giving up, he didn’t care to try. I pushed away from Bellamy who almost looked shocked at how quickly I switched up. 
We had to go on a mission, and I found myself in a difficult position. A hand covered my mouth and once I realized I didn’t know the person whose hand it was I began to get a bit scared. I tried to fight them off but couldn’t–it had to be a grounder. 
The grounder pulled a sword on me and dug into my back, but not enough to hurt me but it pierced the skin. He pushed me onto my knees where my friends were–including Bellamy. The whole hunting group was in. Murphy seemed nervous. I guess I should be too, especially since it’s my life on the line. 
“Who’s valuable to her?”
What an odd fucking question–is this supposed to be leverage? Might as well let me die. 
Bellamy not even a second later stepped forward, “She’s with me, that’s my girlfriend.” He spoke so truthfully that even everyone we knew was aware he was lying through his teeth. 
“What are you willing to give me in turn for her life?” 
His eyes almost turned vulnerable, his words coming off as pathetic as his tone came off as pleads. “What do you want?” 
The grounder moved the sword which caused me to wince, “I want Wanheda.” Everyone shared a confused glance, who is that? “Give her to me and I won’t kill her.” 
“Take me instead, she has a better chance of getting through to Wanheda than me.” What is he doing? He’s going to get himself killed–I’m aware he can handle himself but this is almost suicidal. The grounder pushed me into Bellamy’s arms. He squeezed my hand for the quickest second and moved to the grounder who hit him immediately. 
I wanted to help him but I didn’t know how to, Bellamy could’ve attacked but stayed down, taking another punch with ease. I stepped forward but he put his hand up, “Don’t,” he demanded while blood ran down his cheek. 
Why was he willing to do this for me? We’ll never find her, I mouthed. He did a tiny nod. They need you, I mouthed once more. He got kicked in his ribs and I knew I lost his attention but while the grounder was distracted I quickly stole Murphy’s gun and shot the grounder. My aim was good, but I hated shooting, killing wasn’t something I wanted to do. But I had to–for him. 
Without processing what I did I went to Bellamy’s side. I hated his stupidity and I hated how he saved my life. “I hate you,” I said as I helped him up. He spit out blood, “I know,” he said while wincing from getting up too quickly. 
While Bellamy was getting medical from Abby, I was talking with Octavia and Jasper. Murphy approached grabbing my arm, “Were you and Bellamy seeing each other behind my back?”
His breath reeks of Monty’s moonshine, “Are you serious? You’ve been cheating on me, Murphy?”
“Were you yes or no?” 
Before I could say anything Bellamy put his arm around my waist. His hands slipped around my stomach. Holding me tight but just to keep himself steady from behind. “Yes,” he said in a raspy voice, still clearly in pain. I couldn’t turn my head, I’d be too close to his face. He groaned a bit in pain but still managed to keep his posture strong and himself looking composed. Bellamy pulled me in closer to him and that got a bit of a reaction from Murphy. 
“Fuck you both,” he said as he stormed off. Everyone else decided to leave us alone, I was going to Bellamy back to medic. There was a zero percent chance he was let out yet. 
He stopped me from walking, his tight and bloody shirt doing him every bit of justice. His hands took control so easily, “Why’d you do it,” I asked. 
His fingers traced along my neck, “Save you? Or help you?”
“Both,” I spoke breathlessly. His eyes were fixated on my lips and I wondered if Abby gave him painkillers or something for this type of behavior. 
Bellamy stared down at me, tension felt like it was rising, and the heat was radiating off our bodies. He kept one hand on my waist, holding me. His right hand pulled my hair to the side he leaned in, “because we both know I could treat you better,” he whispered into my ear.
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