#hopefully this post makes sense cause I am running on 6 hours of sleep from 2 days ago 🙃

[samrut]

Feliks has a bad habit of losing keys; however, he is a skilled picklock. He sometimes forgets his tools, but that does not usually pose a problem for him.

If he really wants inside, he is getting in one way or another.

Tolys: "How did you get inside my house?"

Feliks: "I had a spare key."

Tolys: "Feliks, did you smash my window with a rock?"

Feliks: "It got me in, didn't it??"

🪨 = 🔑 ✅️

[rosethornewrites]

Fics I read this week!

MDZS/The Untamed, entirely. Including Tumblr fics here now, even if I shared them as well.

A lot of these are super short since I decided to embark on a journey to clear my AO3 “Marked For Later” list of anything under 3k words by reading them.

This is also a lot of fanfiction and I might have a problem. Any fanfiction addict support groups out there?

Also, I learned that I can only post 100 links. So this is going up early and I’ll separate the Not Rated, E, and M ones into a different post for next week.

Finished:

Not Rated (or Tumblr fics):

Parents, by @bloody-bee-tea

Untitled, by @mondengel

Untitled, by @mondengel

Untitled, by @cerusee

Xue Yang - The Third Jade of Gusu, by inawritingfrenzy

As Long as You're Here, by Aitheriomeraki

You are the last person I need to tell me exactly what I already know. You’re going to tell me to go back to cultivating the righteous path. You’re going to tell me that this is against the principles of a cultivator. I’m going to hear you drone on and on about what’s wrong with what I’m doing. You’re going to tell me that I’m acting like a pure disgrace, completely out of line, extremely unhinged and unruly and every other word your Lan vocabulary can muster up.” His words felt heavy but unstoppable, tears making their way to his eyes.

“You’re-” He was about to continue before getting cut off.

“Wei Ying… zhiji.” Lan Wangji breathed out like a plea, like a prayer. -------------- OR Lan Wangji talks to Wei Wuxian the day after killing Wen Chao.

Things we lost in the fire, by KatAnni

Three instances in Lan Wangji's life that involved fire. One of them certainly ends better than the others.

OR Wangxian can be cute in any situation, even when someone sets fire to their inn.

Sleep Talk, by breezebrocolis

"...But being awakened through such ungodly hours is worth it after all, because Wei Wuxian discovered that, contrary to popular belief about his boyfriend's sleeping habits, there’s a moment when Lan Zhan sleep talks, and he's the only one who knows it."

and

"...for now, after all and a year more, he'd never choose to have those lonesome minutes back. It turns out that filling the gaps with emptiness was necessary once, but it doesn't really fit him anymore. Lan Wangji has Grace on his side for now, the print of Wei Ying's delicate fingers into his skin."

In other words, a study about WangXian's sleeping habits.

Hold On, by voxnoxsox

“And really,” Wei Ying continued, “it makes no sense. Why would they not want to hug you, Lan Zhan, or, like… Do you warn them off or something? Give them the ol’ icy Lan glare?”

“No,” Lan Zhan said, when it was clear a response was required. His mind was a little preoccupied with Wei Ying’s hands still running up and down, up and down.

Rated E:

The Dreams of Youth, by Sami (25 chapters)

"Mother, I have to go, with or without you. Please come with me."

"A-Zhan, you're five years old," she says.

"With or without you, Mother," he pleads. "Please come with me."

Lan Wangji starts again from the beginning.

Rough and Tumble, by SugarMilkTea (3 chapters)

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are paired together for sparring, because of course they are.

Wei Wuxian is better than the rest of the disciples, because of course he is - so Lan Wangji takes him to another field to train privately.

Things escalate, because of course they do.

and if we choose to fall (who's to say it isn't flight?), by KiaraSayre (2 chapters)

Wei Wuxian has an idea and makes a talisman. A sexy talisman.

to live this way is not for the meek, by la_muerta

Yiling Laozu and his band The Restless Dead are one of the biggest names in the rock scene, playing to thousands of screaming fans in sold-out concerts all over the world.

But underneath the black leather, makeup, and untouchable, arrogant facade is a side of Wei Ying that only Lan Zhan gets to see.

Awareness, by syriala (last in a series)

Awareness is slow to come to Jiang Cheng, mostly because he doesn’t want to be aware. He’s warm and comfortable and Jiang Xiuying is bound to be still around and that is really all Jiang Cheng needs in life.

But then there’s an open mouthed kiss to the hinge of his jaw, Jiang Xiuying slowly trailing his way down Jiang Cheng’s throat, and it’s enough to get Jiang Cheng’s eyes open, however reluctant he might be.

Jiang Xiuying seemingly knows him better than Jiang Cheng does himself because he is already looking up at Jiang Cheng, his eyes sparkling and a teasing grin on his lips.

“Good morning,” Jiang Cheng says, his voice still rough from sleep and Jiang Xiuying leans up to capture Jiang Cheng’s lips in a kiss.

The heat behind it tells Jiang Cheng exactly where Jiang Xiuying wants to take this today, and Jiang Cheng can’t say that he minds too much.

yours for the taking, by SugarMilkTea

“There’s still time to back out, you know,” Wei Ying says, quiet enough that even the attendants waiting at the corners of their table won’t hear.

Lan Wangji pauses in the middle of reaching for the sash on Wei Ying’s—on his husband’s—outer robes. A pit opens in his stomach. His hand falls to his lap, and he lifts his eyes to meet Wei Ying’s. “Is that what you want?”

---

The components of the marriage ceremony are easy in theory. The handfasting, the bows, the feast... and the Taking.

housed by your warmth, by wangxiians

wei wuxian may never grow to enjoy mornings but he enjoys this, he really enjoys this – stolen time together, bodies reuniting, waking up before the world.

Rated M:

Heaven Hath No Fury, by Lady Mythos (Lady_Mythos)

The two biggest mistakes Yu Ziyuan has made are as follows: assuming Wei Wuxian was the cause of all her problems and assuming Cangse Sanren was dead.

Or, Cangse Sanren has a lot of things to say to the bitch that abused her son.

weird and awkward, by sami (3rd in a series)

At the age of sixteen, Lan Zhan falls in love, somewhat against his will.

Have Your Cake and Eat it Too, by adrian_kres (4 chapters)

Like half of all sound-tied people, Wei Ying was born with words in his heart and needing the melody they belong to. It’s his soul marker, and he’s been searching for his soulmate his whole life. Things change when he hears a tune being hummed in a cafe that matches his lyrics perfectly. Except he didn’t see who was humming it! To help, his brother’s soulmate puts him in contact with the beautiful pianist Lan Wangji, who makes Wei Ying question if he wants to find his soulmate at all…

Until The End, by abCEE (40 chapters)

"When I - when I tied my ribbon around our wrists, I knew what I was doing and I privately honored it." Wei Wuxian's brows continued to meet as he tried to understand where the conversation was going until realization dawned on him. "Wa - wait! Lan Zhan, is it what I think it is?!!" "It is usually done at the end of a wedding ceremony -" "What-" "But it could have been acknowledged as an engagement." "Lan Zhan!" He cannot believe what he is hearing now. "But my ancestor revealed herself -" "And we bowed… three times. We bowed, Lan Zhan!"

In which wangxian are married since the Cold Pond Cave incident, knows how proper communication works, and had confessed in the middle of the Sunshot Campaign. Things went up and down from there.

Breaking The Ice, by aflaminghalo

“Why are are you asking for punishment?”

Bring Your Honor, Bring Your Shame, by Terri Botta (Isilwath) (21 chapters, third in a series)

Nie HuaiSang has a problem. His brother is losing his mind.

Rated T:

don't close your eyes, by howodd5ever

In which Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian actually talk about the porn book.

Another Road, by Rynne

Something in the Guanyin Temple goes wrong. When Lan Wangji opens his eyes, he's fifteen again.

Phobia, by yougetsomekisses

What if Lan Wangji had been thrown in that dungeon with Wei Wuxian?

Snow Hunt, by InsanitysxCreation

A short scene of a winter hunt.

Entirely self indulgent, in that the idea of Lan Wangji in white leather gloves arrived in my brain and wouldn't let me continue until I'd written this.

真金不怕火炼 | True Gold Fears No Fire, by adrian_kres

In the immediate aftermath of a successful Sunshot Campaign, Wei Ying is kissed by Lan Zhan at the Phoenix Mountain Hunt while blindfolded. But when the blindfold comes off, Lan Zhan is nowhere to be found. Now, Wei Ying must deal with this heartbreak on top of forced therapy he was mandated to complete due to using demonic cultivation to end the war. Through it all, Wei Ying learns he has value, and that his assumptions about what happened at the hunt may not be entirely correct.

Fantasy, by snowberryrose (3 chapters)

In which Wen Qing leaves Or: Wen Qing rescues herself

Canon divergence from episode 20

Chapter 2: Qin Su’s choice Chapter 3: Xue Yang’s end

Four Parts Honey and One Part Vinegar, by masked (6 chapters)

“You know,” Ouyang Zizhen says thoughtfully over dinner one day, “I’ve never seen Wei-qianbei get jealous before.”

Lan Jingyi pauses for the briefest second, remembers the sect rule of keeping silence during meals, and decidedly forgoes it. “What?”

“Well,” Ouyang Zizhen continues, “Hanguang-jun always has a lot of admirers everywhere we go, but Wei-qianbei never seems to mind it.”

“Why are we talking about this?” Jin Ling asks flatly.

Four times Wei Wuxian doesn't get jealous, and the one time he does.

sweet dreams, by ShippersList

Distance won’t hinder Wei Wuxian from giving his Lan Zhan a goodnight kiss.

Sugar Baby, by nirejseki

“Huaisang,” Nie Mingjue said, and uh oh, that sounded like his ‘bad news’ voice. “We need to talk about your spending.”

That was worse than Nie Huaisang had thought.

“Is the talk going to be about how amazingly economical I am in making intelligent and aesthetically appropriate purchases?” he asked hopefully, clutching his latest and most aesthetic fan.

“Oddly enough,” his brother said, “no.”

Somehow, Nie Huaisang hadn’t thought so.

He was...No, He was Incompetent, by Corundum_Creations

He was Lan Wangji, a Twin Jade of the Lan Clan and he could face anything... so how did he become so incompetent with taking his Wei Ying and hiding him away?

The Resentful Cultivator Who Cried 'I'm Fine', by Mikkeneko

"Who's possessed?" another voice joined the scrum, and Wei Wuxian moaned in despair as Jiang Cheng came marching over to join the rest of the party, glaring daggers at Wei Wuxian for being the source of all this trouble. Purple lightning crackled on his wrist as his eyes narrowed. "This idiot got possessed? I can take care of that with Zidian! Stand back!"

"Ahaha, Jiang Cheng, there's no need for that!" he protested hurriedly. "Really, I'm not possessed!"

"Ah," Lan Jingyi nodded knowingly. "That's exactly what someone who was possessed and trying to throw us off the trail would say!"

---

While on a night-hunt with his friends and family, Wei Wuxian takes a near miss from a dangerous beast. Fortunately he wasn't hurt... but for some reason, they have trouble believing him when he says I'm fine.

Why I Can’t Help But Love Red, by spiralingbutmakeitanimerelated

Lan Wangji takes a bath after a night hunt. Wei Wuxian has questions about the night he branded himself.

Not Till Then Dare I Part From You, by forgottenenvy

WangXian share a tender moment as Lan Wangji braids flowers into Wei Wuxian's hair.

Snowmelt, by sugar_shoal

Lan Zhan has been badly injured on a night-hunt. Wei Wuxian panics only a little. Jiang Cheng drags them all to a nearby abandoned hut to wait out the encroaching blizzard.

Head Empty, Only Wei Ying, by nana_banana

Wei Ying is getting married? To someone not Lan Wangji? Fuck. Not if Lan Wangji has anything to say about it.

sparrow heart, by CeliaBlair24 (fourth in a series)

They pass notes through the spaces between their desks about nonsensical, inconsequential things. About the weather and birds, romance novels, and the forest behind the Cloud Recesses where they spend all their afternoons playing.

And Wei Wuxian is smart, both by the books and on his feet. If he wanted to, he could easily play Lan-xiansheng’s favorite class pet --studious and diligent about being studious; creative besides-- but he doesn’t. He listens to Lan-xiansheng and Jiang Wanyin’s complaints with half an ear and when all is said and done, he turns his back on them both and greets Nie Huaisang with his cheeky smile.

Otherwise known as "Nie Huaisang falls into like."

Retrospective on the State of the Field: Qinghe Patron X (QPX) Studies, by bladedweaponsandswishycoats (jeweledichneumon)

"Qinghe Patron X, eh?" Nie Huaisang chuckles, noticing the heading. Licking his lips, he circles the listing for the conference panel with a yellow highlighter. Despite the moniker having become common several years ago, he still gets a kick out of it. Of course he'd have to go to that one. He takes a moment to feel the faint touch of regret that he isn't on the panel himself; it is always more fun messing with people as a panelist than trying to rely on the Q&A period to say something provocative but relevant.

or

In which immortal cultivator Nie Huaisang likes to fuck around with scholars attempting to study what they think they know about him, and other shenanigans he gets up to (both with and without the help of his friends) in the modern age.

or

The year is 2021. Lan Wangji still goes where the chaos is, though these days that can mean a lot more than night hunts. Especially when Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang are dedicated to making sure being immortal never gets boring.

A Story for the Ages, by Supernova_Sage

Lan Wangji saunters over to the mystery section. He can hear people whispering, but he isn’t close enough to make sense of the conversation. The lilt in the voice makes it sound like one person is asking a question. Hmm. If he can hear whispering, they’re still being far too loud. He shakes his head and continues his browsing. He pulls his phone out to check the time. It’s nearly 6p. He really should get home. He still needs to feed the bunnies and feed himself and look over emails and—

He stops in his tracks. Stops when he sees the book that he’s been waiting to check out for months now. Every time he’s stopped by, though, it’s been checked out by someone else. And now it’s finally here. Sitting on the shelf in front of him. Once he manages to collect himself, he reaches for it. His fingers don’t touch the spine of the book, though. Instead, he finds his fingers brushing against the fingers of another.

DanTian - Into the Dark (LWJ), by ArchiveWriter (fourth in a series)

Wangji's memory holds images of Wei Ying. Wangji does penance by reliving his memories, and by making sure Wei Ying is loved. Wangji burns the millet porridge he's supposed to stir whilst Wei Ying fetches water for tea.

chasing echoes, by SWANPYRE

Lan Wangji must learn to co-exist with what he has learned his entire life to despise.

Snowfall, by nightflower

During a winter storm in Cloud Recesses, Wangji's old scars ache. Wei Ying takes care of him.

relics of love, by cl410

“Oh my god. Oh my god.”

Lan Zhan pinched the bridge of his nose. “The bunnies were almost eaten.”

“Our son was almost traumatized for life,” Wei Ying said, choking on a laugh. “Lan Zhan, he almost witnessed a double homicide on our own balcony.” He wheezed with laughter, clutching his ribs.

“We will install higher locks,” Lan Zhan said grimly.

Rated G:

A-Yuan's guide to eat the rich (a.k.a. How A-Yuan single handedly stopped a siege from happening and saved everyone), by fanficaddictXOXO

A-Yuan is only three years old. But he knows many things. He knows how to write his name. He knows potatoes are better than radishes (Xian gege said so). But the most important thing he knows is that the handsome gege with a white forehead ribbon is rich.

Obviously You Hate Me, by Sarehz

Wei Wuxian leans across the round table. "Okay, this isn't going to work."

From across the very same table, Lan Wangji raises one puzzled eyebrow. "Mn?"

"This!" Wei Wuxian gestures between them.

Begotten, by ecorie (6 chapters)

“He’s mine.” He echoed what had once been teasingly said in jest, and added, “This is my son.”

Against all odds and without a choice, Lan Zhan brings A-Yuan back to Cloud Recesses. Xichen keeps his brother’s secrets, and shields the child when Lan Zhan could not.

Alone Stands the Quiet, by ecorie

The story of the Yin Iron starts with a celestial war and ends with Lan Sizhui.

A Good Plan, by nirejseki

“The…Lan sect?” Meng Yao said doubtfully. “Are you sure?”

“I am,” his mother said, her mouth tight. She looked upset, the way she always did these days when he referenced, intentionally or otherwise, the original plan that she had had to send him to join his father, sect leader of Lanling Jin. She’d raised Meng Yao on a steady diet of stories of what his life would be like when his father finally took him back the way he’d promised her he would, stories that had filled his days and nights for years and years and years, and then just last year she’d suddenly stopped talking about it entirely. It was as if the person who’d told those stories had nothing to do with her.

Meng Yao didn’t know what had happened, but he assumed it must have been pretty bad.

“It'll be a good fit,” she added.

The Late Great Custody Debate, by stiltonbasket (5 chapters)

"You owe me child support," Lan Zhan blurts, before Wei Wuxian can open his mouth to say hello to him. "Take responsibility."

Or, the one where Lan Wangji's pet rabbit has a better love life than he does, and single father Wei Wuxian develops a healthy fear of attorneys, courtesy of his next-door neighbor.

Switcheroo, by nirejseki

Mo Xuanyu thought that this Wei Wuxian person whose body he’d stolen must have been a really interesting person, mostly because he’d been here for three days so far and nobody’d noticed the switch yet.

A Kiss for you, my love, by Speechless_since_1998

"Ladies and gentlemen."

Suddenly the attention of the whole hall turned to Nie Huaisang, near the orchestra with a microphone in one hand and a glass of champagne in the other, "On this wonderful evening I would like to share with you all the happiness I feel. for a wonderful couple who got married today. " Wait a minute did he say marriage? He must have heard right, even Lan Zhan had stiffened. “Let's give him a wonderful round of applause. To Wei Ying and Lan Zhan newlyweds. " Hot shit. They weren't supposed to attract attention.

The attention of the room focused on them, whispers in the crowd, some scandalized, some excited. Nie Huaisang motioned for him to keep the game, but what was she supposed to do ?! "Lan Zhan, we mustn't ..." He didn't have time to finish the sentence as Lan Zhan kissed him. In front of everyone.

Soulmates, by Yacs_Weasley

Ever since he was a little boy, Wangji had longed to find his soulmate.

Stay with me, by KatAnni

Sizhui's memories come to him in pieces, and some of them in dreams. This time, he dreams of Wei Wuxian putting him in a tree. He runs to the Jingshi immediately, to find his Baba.

The truth, by syriala (first in a series)

“Do you even remember a single person of those you killed after the war?” he demands to know and Jiang Cheng turns his glare on him.

“Why should I?” Jiang Cheng asks and a fearful hush falls over the crowd. “Do any of you remember even a single person you killed in your lives?” he asks them and is met with a pretty telling silence.

“You’re a monster,” someone whispers, but in the quiet it rings out loud and clear.

Jiang Cheng has heard these words a lot in the past sixteen years, and so he simply smiles at them, even though they sting like always.

He reminds himself that the people that matter know the truth, that they know him for who he truly is, and that it has to be enough.

Boys, by nirejseki

“Hey,” Lao Nie protested mildly. “Who’s the father here, me or you?”

“If a-die wants a new wife, little uncle will find one that isn’t inclined to kill him.”

That sounded like a recitation.

“Then what’s even the point,” Lao Nie grumbled, and reached out to ruffle his son’s hair, enjoying how Nie Mingjue yelped when he did, glaring up at him with offended dignity.

Loss, by FlutterFyre

Lan Wangji knows something is wrong.

Hearsay, by syriala (second in a series)

“A girl went missing a few days back,” Wei Wuxian says, voice serious, and Jiang Cheng can just imagine the accusatory look on his face. “Coincidentally you were seen in that area during the same time.”

“So?” Jiang Cheng wants to know and Wei Wuxian makes a frustrated sound.

“What did you do with her?” Wei Wuxian asks him, even though he clearly already made up an answer for himself.

An ally, by syriala (third in a series)

“I just don’t want you to force yourself to face them,” Jiang Cheng finally says and Jiang Xiuying smiles at him.

“I’m not forcing myself. I am going on my own free will. It will be fine. And besides, Lan Xichen was never the reason I left.”

“But he didn’t stop you either,” Jiang Cheng mutters, and then rolls his eyes. “Fine. Accompany me, see if I care.”

“All I see is you caring,” Jiang Xiuying honestly gives back and Jiang Cheng flushes bright red.

Escalation, by syriala (fourth in a series)

“How can you lie to him like that?” Lan Wangji wants to know but it seems to be morbid curiosity more than anything else, because he goes right on. “You’re coming with me to the Cloud Recesses. There will be a trial.”

“A trial,” Jiang Cheng scoffs out, because it’s a farce and nothing more.

Lan Wangji has already decided on his sentence. And they all know it's going to be death.

Resolve, by syriala (fifth in a series)

“Regarding the accusations made against me today,” he starts and cuts his glare over to Sect Leader Yao, who has the good grace to shrink back at the venom in that glare, “I have something to say.”

“Speak,” Lan Wangji demands, but he doesn’t sound too sure all of a sudden, doesn’t seem too happy with the proceedings, and Jiang Cheng does rather enjoy the feeling of triumph it brings him.

“I am innocent. I did not kill any demonic cultivators, nor did I torture them.”

His voice rings out in the courtyard because everyone is silent for two seconds, but then chaos erupts. The voices calling him a liar are the kinder ones, and Jiang Cheng shakes his head at them.

“And I have proof,” he continues, raising his voice so that it carries over the others.

Devotion - Gather, by syriala (sixth in a series)

“What?” Jiang Cheng asks, because for once he is in no immediate danger of being murdered by the other Sects and Jiang Cheng really doesn’t think that look is fair.

“You absolute asshole,” Jiang Xiuying hisses at him and Jiang Cheng knows that if he wasn’t injured Jiang Xiuying would try to slap him over the head or shake him until he sees sense.

“What? What did I do now?” Jiang Cheng wants to know because he was asleep! There is no way he could have done something to upset Jiang Xiuying like this!

“I don’t even know where to start,” Jiang Xiuying says and starts to pace Jiang Cheng’s room, without giving any thought to the fact that this is Jiang Cheng’s bedroom and he really shouldn’t be here.

Well, Jiang Cheng is not going to say that to him, because with the mood Jiang Xiuying is in right now it wouldn’t go over well for Jiang Cheng, Sect Leader or not. Not that he actually cares anyway.

It’s Jiang Xiuying after all.

Home in Lotus Pier, by syriala (seventh in a series)

Jiang Cheng's angry frown turns into a confused frown when he sits down for breakfast and finds a box next to his bowl of congee.

“What is this?” he asks into the room, because someone is bound to be around, but he doesn’t get an answer and Jiang Cheng heaves out a sigh.

He tugs the box close and opens it and he’s surprised to find that his favourite tea is in it. It’s hard to come by lately, as it is entirely seasonal and only grown in a small spot in Sect Leader Yao’s territory, and after everything that happened at the Cloud Recesses a few months back, he already mentally said goodbye to it.

He wouldn’t be getting any more supplies from Sect Leader Yao after all, so this is more than surprising.

But the gifts don't stop there.

Parallelism, not equivalence, by DreamaholicsAnonymous

Wei Wuxian reminded him of Xingchen, Song Lan thinks, not for the first time.

Bring Your Secrets, Bring Your Scars, by Terri Botta (Isilwath) (fourth in a series)

Nie MingJue keeps his promises.

All Your Madness, I Will Tame, by Terri Botha (Isilwath) (fifth in a series)

Wen Qing in the Burial Mounds.

Puppy, by Speechless_since_1998

Returning home, Lan Zhan found his husband hiding behind the sofa and A-Yuan sitting on the ground playing with a puppy dog.

The puppy must have been a few months old, probably hadn't even been weaned. It was harmless, but Wei Ying didn't care. It was enough that it was a dog to be afraid.

“Ah, Lan Zhan! You finally arrived! Take that monster away!" Wei Ying pleaded, refusing to come out of hiding.

A-Yuan puffed out her cheeks, "Shiro is not a monster!"

Heaven, he had already given it a name.

Being Good, by ricochet

Lan Wangji tries to be good.

no shadow can touch, by sunflowersfield

When it is time to hand out the mics, Lan Zhan forces himself to lower his expectations. Their exchange will be fleeting, and Wei Ying will barely even look at him.

Or: Wei Ying is cast in a musical at his local community center. Lan Zhan is the theater technician.

make a mess (inside my heart), by avenqelic

Wei Wuxian looked comfortable against Lan Wangji’s white sheets, curled up in his blankets. Lan Wangji’s chest ached, mind swirling with possibilities – falling asleep looking into Wei Wuxian’s eyes, waking up in his arms, holding each other close as the moon shifted across the sky and the sun rose.

Finding a way home, by ThisIsWhereTheMagicHappens

Prompt idea for a less than one thousand words one shot! Lwj walks into a coffee shop and barista wwx cannot stop flirting with him while both of them are dying on the inside because the other is so handsome! Wwx writes his number on the cup! Up to you if lwj has an existencial crisis after finding the number or if he even finds the number. Bonus points if the oneshot ends with lwj going back to the cafe and wwx smiles at him when he sees him! — this is a.a. now with a prompt

DanTian - Planting Gentians (LWJ POV), by ArchiveWriter (1 chapter plus art)

Wei Ying's been up their old mountain early in the morning. Wangji does needlework and indulges in watching Wei Ying's hands. A slice of domestic contentment because I like them happy.

Tease, by annjellybean

Now, Wei Ying had long outgrown teasing his husband mercilessly the way he used to back in their childhood days, they had been through so much since then, he had honestly forgotten how to do so. That being said, it did not mean Wei Ying had completely forgotten his gremlin roots, and as a self-proclaimed gremlin husband, today he wanted to tease.

Pure Morning, by ShizunThirst

It’s on mornings like these that Lan Wangji can love Wei Wuxian the way he deserves to be loved.

deeper etchings, by fensandmarshes

“And remember, a-Yuan,” comes the voice, lowered but still loud as though it shuns the petty boundaries of the house, “you absolutely cannot tell diedie about this.”

Lan Wangji pauses, there in the middle of the portal array, halfway through setting down his bag, and tilts his head just slightly.

Caring Warmth, by MountainMist

Wei Ying is sick and lonely. Head empty only Lan Zhan.

And how Lan Zhan takes care of him.

just them, together., by adeptiwings

It was okay, now that it was just them.

the boy with rabbit ears, by dragontea

Lan Zhan got lost in an amusement park and found his way home in the company of the boy with rabbit ears.

heart-shaped knots, by twigofwillow

There’s been a ghost in Cloud Recesses for over thirty years, but no one has talked to her until now.

Setting Suns and Dawning Realisations, by wereworm

Wei Wuxian's plans for a romantic night out in Caiyi with Lan Zhan are ruined when he works late, the sun already setting by the time he makes his way home to the Jingshi. Instead, they enjoy a quiet night in and Wei Wuxian comes to terms with the peace that he'd fought so hard to earn and the life that's he's finally allowed to have.

[For the prompt: a sweet wangxian date night in]

Won This For You, by Preludian_Staves

He looks up as his husband comes into the room with something suspiciously large hidden behind his back.

A single soul (no more), by Lysdance1

The core transfer surgery goes as in canon BUT it leaves the spiritual link open between Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian and, well, what goes one way can go both ways.

"It's what keeps him (mostly) sane, a tether in this dark place where he cannot feed and cannot sleep and cannot escape; through the link he feels - trickles of love, Jiang Cheng's worry for him. It shouldn't be enough, but somehow, in this dark, dark place, it is. It reminds him, faintly, of home, and in the dark he hears the rhythm of one, luminous, far away soul."

To Need Someone, by Preludian_Staves

"A-die?"

"Hm?"

"What does mean to need someone? To want them with you?"

Approval, by Speechless_since_1998

"You look tired, "he said, sipping his tea. He shouldn't, it wasn't kind. But he couldn't resist teasing him a little.

Lan Zhan stared at him blankly, "I've been drinking."

"I saw."

"I kissed Wei Ying."

"I saw that too."

And thanks to the gods there was no uncle because he hated worldly occasions, otherwise he would have a heart attack.

"We had sex at his adoptive parents' home."

"And?"

Lan Zhan raised an eyebrow, "Aren't you surprised?"

"Oh, sorry, now I'll try again ... Really? !!"

"You're not funny."

Unfinished:

Not Rated:

An Obsidian Among Jades, by bluebeads

What happens when a sad lost mantou cheeked Lan Zhan teams up with a cheerful one to find his family in the unfamiliar streets of Yilling. A Yu Ziyuan Ultimatum AU which I submitted a while ago on angstymdzsthoughts Also a Gusu Lan Sect Wei Wuxian.

I've had enough, by pluma1007

He is ascending. They’re minds unhelpfully supplied.

Then, Wei Wuxian is gone.

The cultivators are in disarray.

“Wei Wuxian… Wei Wuxian ascended!”

“How can this be?! A monster ascended?!”

“No! My core! My powers had diminished!”

Hearing that, the cultivators checked their cores. Gasps rang out the mountains. Enraged cries are heard, cursing Wei Wuxian. There are also those who kowtowed, praying for forgiveness. There are others who praised him.

Song of Joy and Regrets, by HelloKitten

The Archery competition at Qishan this year has hit a snag. As the Sects face the wrongs perpetrated by their future selves, Wei Wuxian finds himself adopted by half of the cultivation world who are determined to save him from himself.

Baby Wangxian suffers. Adult Wangxian's job here is done.

"I'm starting to see a pattern to all his plans..."

"Do they all involve him being bait?"

"Yes" came deadpanned responses.

Hua Cheng is not amused.

Rated E:

the long way back home, by Misila

Wei Ying always knew he was the single discordant note in the Jiang household. That was why, after graduating from university, he didn’t return home. With him gone, Yu Ziyuan wouldn’t have anyone to compare her son to, and Jiang Fengmian wouldn’t have to keep avoiding his own family to prevent further conflict.

…Right?

(Seven years later, married to the man of his life and with a four year-old son, Wei Ying returns to his hometown and tries to reconnect with his siblings and befriend his nephew; but, most of all, he struggles to figure out what’s wrong with his brother and how to help him, despite Jiang Cheng not wanting to have anything to do with him anymore.)

Will You Stand Beside Me, by trashgavin

Wei Wuxian takes all his strength and spits blood in Wen Chao’s face. His eyes narrow and he speaks, though his voice is quiet and full of pain.

“Go to hell.”

It only makes Wen Chao laugh. He releases his hair and stands to his feet. “Bring me a whip.”

Rated M:

For the Dust and the Dirt, by Nyxelestia

His breath came out in shaky gasps, but still he could do nothing as the demonic copy of himself brought the blade down to the bare skin of Wei Wuxian’s uninjured shoulder. He whimpered when he felt a small cut, then when the blade lifted. He didn’t have time to even think of relief before it came back, right next to the first cut in a different direction, then again below in a line, multiple small lines in multiple directions like…like a character.

“Like I said,” the demon mused as Wei Wuxian realized what it was doing. “I’ll write it down for you.”

A brutal assault on a Cloud Recesses student leaves the Cultivation world reeling. Wei Wuxian struggles to recover, while everyone else tries to make sense of an ominous message. But since when do demons care about sect politics, anyway?

Between Wen Ruohan's rising aggression, simmering tensions across the guest disciples, and the mysterious fierce corpses still popping up all over the place, Wei Wuxian would rather ignore the confusing, horrifying visions the demon left him with.

If only the demon's taunting predictions didn't keep coming true at every turn.

I Know How Those in Exile Feed on Dreams of Hope, by rabbit_habits & saltedpin

“What does it mean, that Wen Ruohan has all the Yin Iron?” Jiang Cheng asked, dragging himself up into a sitting position – her medicines must have worked quickly, because his ribs gave only a twinge when he moved.

Wen Qing settled down beside him, head bowed as she packed away her supplies, her shoulder brushing his arm when she moved. “It means that no one in the cultivation world can oppose him,” she whispered.

—

Canon divergence AU in which Jiang Cheng and Jin Zixuan are captured by the Wens after escaping from the Xuanwu's cave, before they can return to rescue Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji.

Misunderstood, by Silver_Flame_2724

There is something called a memory ball that shows the memories of a chosen person.

In order to further incriminate the already dead Yiling Patriarch, the cultivation world decides to use this memory ball at the next Discussion Conference to show how evil the demonic cultivator can truly be.

What appears, though, truly shocks them all.

laughing shadow, by ich_bin_ein_stern

During the commotion involving Wei Wuxian, A-Ling refused little sleep. His screams carried across Koi Tower, putting wailing ghosts too shame. He was inconsolable by everyone. It was only when Jin Zixuan unintentionally passed the room holding Wei Wuxian while trying to calm down his son did A-Ling miraculously settle down. Since then, he has slept peacefully every night. Yanli expressed, in the quiet and security of their bedroom, that perhaps Wei Wuxian's spirit soothed A-Ling and continues to do so.

At the least expected times, Jin Zixuan swears he can hear the distant sound of a flute.

But when he stops to actually listen for it, he hears nothing.

Come From My Inkstone, by magicgenetek

“So your plan,” Nie Mingjue said dubiously, “is to move into the Burial Mounds to write and illustrate erotica about you and Lan Wangji seducing the Yiling Patriarch to earn his trust and sell the public on the idea that he's not a threat, then convince him to give up the Yin Tiger Seal?"

“The way I said it sounded better,” Nie Huaisang said. “And you forgot the part about me seducing the Ghost General, that is crucial.”

“I hate this, and as your brother, I am begging you not to actually stick it in a fierce corpse. How much money do you need?”

Rated T:

Here We Go Again, by Alliandra

He looked over to where the swordswoman was still fighting, but her focus seemed entirely locked onto that fight so it was unlikely that she could have had anything to do with the energy drain. He was still wracking his brain for something else to do to assist, so this thing didn’t kill them both, but now he was feeling weak, dizzy and currently not far from helpless.

~~~~~~~~~~

It has been several months since the events at the Guanyin temple and Wei Wuxian is wandering around on his own. After he helps a stranger kill a very dangerous beast he uncovers what seems to be a conspiracy aimed at ending his life. He heads back to Cloud Recesses with his new companion in tow, looking to get Lan Wanji's help in working out what is involved.

Meanwhile, Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling made a surprising discovery under Koi Tower that may well be linked to the threat against Wei Wuxian's life.

Can they all work together to find out what is going on and put a stop to it, before something disastrous occurs?

A place of Gold, by ThisIsWhereTheMagicHappens

A few days after Wei Wuxian has parted from Lan Wangji on a forest path, he gets surrounded by Jin officials in an Inn, who formally ask him to return to Jinlintai to fill in the position of Sect Leader, as is his right and duty.

Wei Wuxian thinks it is an artful prank. Until it is not.

Blossoming flowers in a full moon - 花好月圆, by ThisIsWhereTheMagicHappens

What if Wei Wuxian wasn’t able to get out of Lan Wangji’s grip at the cliff in Nevernight? What if Lan Wangji refused to let go?

All will be well when the day is done, by abCEE

The one where Yu Ziyuan time traveled but she thought that it was her visions of her alternate life.

She learned that there is a brat named Wei Ying who brought destruction to her and her family's life.

And so in her present, she vowed that she will never allow that to happen.

In which Yu Ziyuan found the four-year-old Wei Ying, newly pushed out of the inn where his parents left him, and decided that no, this child must never be associated with her, her family, and their sect at all.

And so Yu Ziyuan thought that she could bring him somewhere where someone may or may not find him but definitely far from where her husband could find him. If he's lucky, he'll survive that winter, if he's not, then death awaits the fevered child.

This is the extent of mercy that Yu Ziyuan could give a child.

With this, she'll raise her children without having to deal with a brat that brings trouble where he goes according to her visions of her alternate life.

Like the tag stated, this is definitely not Yu Ziyuan centric.

Rated G:

How Jin Zixuan Helps Everyone, by BryxcrSt

The Yunmeng Heroes, Twin Jades, Nie Huaisang, The Peacock, Cinnamon Roll Ghost General and Lan Qiren suddenly transport back to the past before the Conference in Qishan, with their very memory of how all their clans battled Wen Rouhan's and now they're all ready to prevent it from happening now that they're back to the past. Especially Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian.

Surprisingly, Jin Zixuan wants to help them instead of standing out of the front line like how he used to but what can he do?

To Repeat, Repay, and Repair, by adrian_kres

Wei Wuxian has died again and his family grieves. Lan Sizhui, now married and with children of his own, grieves the loss of both fathers, as Lan Wangji has entered seclusion. But somehow, he unknowingly sends himself back to the time he spent in the Burial Mounds at three years old. Will his family take his confused, nonsensical warnings seriously? Are they doomed to repeat the same fate?

[crystalinn]

I haven’t posted about this here yet, but boy howdy has my life been A Mess™️ of late.

TW: medical talk, high stress situations, mentions of blood under the cut

This is a very long post, so a mild TL;DR: ma’s sick and this is me for eternity now (loud noises in video): 

Picture it. November 10th (ish. Time is hard.). The motherbeast came down with a case of viral bronchitis. She got a few days off work to recover. 

A couple days pass. She went back to work. Her manager sent her in the cooler for two hours. 

An immediate downturn ft. a fall out of bed that took 45 minutes to fix, heavy panting, confusion, the whole lot. She went to the Express ER. They said “oh hey, your viral bronchitis has become full blown pneumonia. You’re goin’ to the Real Hospital™️ for two days. See if you respond well.” Turns out, she did, at first. 

About a week or two of what seemed like solid improvement all came crashing back down when her return to work arrived. She went back to work... or tried to. She went to step onto the curb and gravity said no. She faceplanted the pavement, and the ambulance was called. A thorough concussion check later, and her manager drove her and her truck home. The next day, she went back to the Express ER, and they said “oh shit, your lung xray is worse than last time. Back to the Hospital for you.” 

That stay was nine days long. She was tested for tuberculosis (which came back negative, thankfully), and had a PICC line installed. During said stay, she did get rather confused and agitated, as it was near the end of the month and the rent needed paid. She called me in the middle of the night, asking me to move her IV... despite me being at home. So that was a thing.

After she came home on the 4th of this month (December), I had to start administering her PICC line antibiotics, every 8 hours. Did y’all know that cefepime (a bigboi antibiotic) smells like someone doing unholy things to eggs? Sulfuric smelling bullshit, that. Had some hiccups there, what with massive air bubbles in the line and getting the infusion orb stuck on the line. We were supposed to be done the 25th. Then she went to her new primary care doctor, and it was extended to the 6th of January, which h.

Anyway, fast forward to the 23rd. Mum was out with a pal, getting some groceries, and some Miralax ‘cause... y’know, and she fell on her ass. At this point, falling down is like a glowing neon red flag. She came home, was a bit wobbly, but was generally okay. Her primary care doctor called after the home health nurses stole some blood to tell her that her potassium levels are critical. A friend/my ‘adopted’ brotherbeast, Frank, brought her a fuckton of bananas that night. 

Now this is where it gets real fuckin’ spicy. The morning of the 24th, after we get done with the 7am orb, I gave her a dose of Miralax. She was fine, until the 3pm orb, when severe gut cramps showed up. Those lasted until about midnight when things... moved along. After that, shit went downhill fast. I put her to bed after orb times at 11 pm, and she kept waking up. As time went on, she got more and more confused. Like, she knew general things, in a kinda slow way, but she could not follow directions. On the morning of the 25th (fucking Christmas.), things had reached its boiling point. She was very confused, unable to focus, slurring words. I rang up a friend, Sandy (who has been a massive help this whole time of Fuckery), to get her to the ER. This triggered a complete meltdown. It took both of us to get her out of her chair, not to mention the sudden burst of confused crying and begging not to go. 

We finally managed to get her there, and the ER’s like “yo this looks like a stroke, so we’re gonna keep her, do an MRI or three, and get back to you.” Turns out she was very dehydrated, currently has a UTI, and is still a bit... shall we say, fucked up. But, the MRI came out clean, but there was some issue with the PICC with like, a blood clot, but they cleaned it out, so they let her go on the 26th. 

But just wait for it... I put her to bed pretty much as soon as she got home, ‘cause she doesn’t sleep in the hospital. Makes sense, right? I went to check on her at about 8, and she was unable to really comply with requests/commands/questions. I’d ask “what’s your name?”, I’d get her name (most of the time), but when I’d ask “when’s your birthday?”, I’d get her name again. Or the fact she lost her PICC line cap, and I’d ask her to hold the newly sterilized port so it wouldn’t touch anything, she’d say okay, take it, and immediately drop it. Repeatedly. 

I broke down whilst on the phone with my dad because everything has been too much of late, and eventually put her back to bed to wait for the 11pm orb. 

11pm rolled around... and well. I couldn’t get her to wake up. She’d react to me poking and prodding her by making noise and moving away, but she would not wake up. Not properly. So, I called the on call home health nurse to see if she could help, and she pretty much told me to just call an ambulance. Not wanting the expense because I live in Hell the US, I called my dad. He helped me try to wake her up over the phone, but she flat refused. I was left with no choice. So, I called the ambulance, and just before they knocked on the door, she sat up like “huh?” but extra confused. She almost didn’t go to the hospital because she said “nah, I don’t want to go” but one of the EMTs was like “nah, you gotta go.”

So, she spent about 8 hours in the ER, and they told me that they can’t keep her since she was mostly lucid, but they did float an Idea (a skilled nursing facility, at least until she got her ducks in a row) to her that was immediately denied, but with some prodding from me, she finally agreed. So they moved her upstairs from the ER to keep her until they can find a facility in the Blue Cross/Blue Shield network that’s reasonably local. The one that came to visit yesterday turned out to not be, and I’m pretty sure the dude kicked it back to the Case Supervisor to see if they can find another. But, after they moved her into her room, she’s cleared up quite a bit. 

She’s still a bit slow on the uptake sometimes, a bit unfocused, and can get caught out in the grapes mentally, but she has improved a lot. 

Oh, and another thing she’s been doing is fighting me re: eating since the first go around. Bread’s a texture issue, rice is hard to eat without teeth, and everything else “smells bad” (which, since she’s quit smoking as of that second hospital stay... I understand, but you gotta sometimes push past that.) I did manage bananas though. Thank fuck for those. 

But, back to the plot: today (the 28th) was a decent day. Much clearer, less starts and stops in her speech. A bit more focused. She didn’t manage to sleep last night, so she was kinda tired. Had another MRI, but we won’t know about that until probably tomorrow (the 29th). Maybe. Had some PICC issues, though. The nurse got the cefepime running just fine, then mum had to use the bathroom, and when she came out, the machine started screaming bloody murder. After that, the nurse came back and tried to flush the line, since the cefepime was unable to run, and when she took the syringe off, the saline shot right back out... which ain’t supposed to happen. Hit me, the nurse, mum, the bed... probably got the windows too. So they’re working on that, and hopefully they figure it out.

Had my own woes at the hospital today, too. The sole of my boot fell off, so my ride/friend/adopted sister?, Sandy, went to walmart and got me some Heavy Duty Superglue, which I got it about half way stuck before we had to leave... then when we were pulling into the parking lot at home, the nurse in charge called to ask some questions about the PICC, the antibiotic, how long it’d been there, how long she was supposed to be on it, the pharmacy’s number, all that. So I went to get out of the car, my coke bottle fell out of my pocket, started rolling under the car, and I overextended. Fell right on my knees. They are not happy. Took a hot minute to get my dumb ass off the ground, without hurting Sandy, who is like 5′2″ and v smol. I am 5′6″ and... decidedly not. Plus the bonus rain.

UPDATE 12/29/2019: the diverticulitis has made a reappearance. It’s like everything is just It’s free real estate.

UPDATE 12/31/2019: Around 2 am this morning, she managed to roll out of bed and whack her head pretty good on something. They did a CT scan, and it came out clean. No concussion. However, now she has a sitter/keeper/minder to make sure she doesn’t do it again. It’s a good thing the nurses heard her fall, ‘cause despite being armed, the bed alarm didn’t go off. I know of all of this, ‘cause the hospital called me at 3 this morning, and boy howdy that’s a gut drop, let me tell you. But, better a CT ride and a bump on her noggin vs. the alternative. Sure is one thing after a-fucking-nother, ain’t it though.

UPDATE 1/1/2020: 2019 keep your problems challenge: she's had a major mental shift again, and now she's really groggy, really confused... So the hospital moved her to the ICU and called me for consent on a spinal tap, just to make sure they're not missing anything. Other than that, they've done x-rays and another CT, I think to check her spine, hips, the one leg she's been having issues with. The doctors also think that it may be the cefepime causing this altered mental state, and after doing some digging, boy howdy I sure believe it. Cephalosporins are some nasty fuckers.

So! That’s been my month and a half! I’d like to take a break now, please!

EDIT: Further updates found here.

[letsdiscoverkitty]

Assessment Update (Trigger warning)

Firstly, I am sorry for only just getting around to writing and posting this, I have had another very busy/long day with (haircut plus bloods/ecg and then staying in town to run some errands etc).

Anyway, as you know, yesterday was my pre-admission assessment at the Priory with my consultant (12th June). I am not going to lie, it was very hard to go onto the ward and to be there in general/have the discussions, however I think it was a good thing overall/went a little better than I initially anticipated (?)

The journey there was anything but smooth. We ended up being nearly an hour late due to sink holes and diversions (thank god for dad and a mini mindfulness/breathing book I had with me!!)

Once I had arrived, I had a 20ish minute meeting with my consultant (who is also one of the consultants on the ward) - the EDP I see was meant to be there but she didn’t come in the end *rolls eyes*

She believes that I need a short admission to help push me in the right direction/get me going, and that overall the best place for me to be is in the community

She said that yes she could keep me in for 9 months, get me up to a healthy weight etc etc, but that she does not think it would be beneficial (which is refreshing to hear something that isn’t just focused on weight/numbers)

She agreed that I need to have autonomy. It needs to come from me, not just have things “done” to me. I have proven that I have been able to make some changes in the community in the past and get to better places, so I need to pull from that.

We are initially looking at a 6-8 week admission

With the main focus being on the second ward that they have where patients are in either “progression” or “transition”

Sadly due to my current physical health, I will have to spend a bit of time on the acute ward (if the admission happens), but she did say that we would try to keep it to as short a time as possible due to the environment on there and needing me to get more practical support which happens on the other ward. Although we have to be careful not to slip into old grooves of trying to do too much too soon/expecting too much of myself and putting on a front.

In terms of when there might be a bed, this is an issue, especially as EDU beds are so short at the moment…

She said that the next bed under her is likely not for another MONTH.

Yes, a month.

She said that she was quite worried about my current “frail” state and that there is really no wiggle room at all and that if I want to have an admission there then I need to be holding my own in the community in terms of my weight and bloods not dropping anymore.  

I didn’t post about this before but on Friday afternoon I had a phone call offering me a bed at a unit in London for Monday….I was given 20 minutes to decide whether to take it or not. As you can tell I turned down it down (after talking to a few people) and my parents agreed with my decision, especially with the meeting at the priory only a few days away.

My consultant obviously brought this up and we talked about it for a little bit but yeah it is what it is *shrugs*

After about 20 minutes she took me onto the acute ward and we met with the charge nurse who was able to talk to me a bit more about the ward, what things would be involved in an admission and what would be expected, as well as answering my many questions that I had noted down.

It made me feel quite sad when my consultant described me as having a “severe and enduring eating disorder (SEED)”. idk. reality checks like this really suck.

The admission on the acute side, like I mentioned, would be kept to a minimum, however it all depends on how I am coping and what the staff think is best for me.

She gave me a handout with the timetable on and we talked a bit about how things work on the ward, social outings, the groups etc. which there are a few of, not a huge amount/not very much OT but there are at least some trips out each week and visitors are allowed.

I also had a chance to talk about a number of my worries, including that I tend to put on a front and act the good girl/perfect patient and shut off from staff and not want to make a fuss. She couldn’t answer any questions about meal plans or increasing or stuff like that as it is apparently all done on an individual basis after an initial assessment with the dietitian on admission.

In general though the food is pretty similar to what it was when I was there 6 years ago; you do your menu/have to make choices every morning for the day ahead - one light meal and one main meal - you can choose to have your main at lunch or dinner, depending on what the choices are for the day (it is the same food for the rest of the hospital). You start eating in the upstairs kitchen on acute but then you move downstairs to the restaurant when you are on the full meal plan and managing well enough.

I’m not going to lie, it was very hard being on the ward. very hard. There were a lot of very unwell patients, a number with NG tubes…and, idk, I suppose it brought it home a little more how real it all is?? although at the same time I still feel incredibly numb/emotionless.

After speaking with the nurse for a while, I went over to the progression/transition ward where I was able to speak to someone who is being discharged soon, which was really helpful.

She was so lovely and showed me around the kitchen, talked about how the ward works, her bedroom, the rules, how her time has been etc.

It is similar to when I was there 6 years ago but with quite a lot more in terms of therapy/OT input as well self catering snacks and having your own cupboards for food, having the opportunity to bake with the OT, be more independent etc. (although kind of annoyed that apparently the internet is still terrible there and the lack of signal too - boo)

I am still waiting for the unit to send over the patient handbook they said that they would get to me, which is a bit annoying but I am still suffering from information overload tbh so it is probably a good thing.

It was A LOT to try to take in over a short space of time.

I am still trying to process the whole experience: being on the ward (which I did find quite triggering even for just that short period of time), the other patients, the programme, the opportunities, as well as the potential reality of me actually being admitted.

My consultant was honest with me and said that although I am ear marked for the bed in a month’s time, she cannot promise anything as you never know what happens.

In all honesty, if I was offered a bed there for next week I think I would take it…

However we are talking a month at the very least…

which is quite a long way away and it is really messing with my head and causing me quite a lot of mixed/messy thoughts

The programme itself looks/sounds A LOT better than what I experienced at the Bethlem last year, especially with the acute, progression and transition elements fully “up and running” (when I was there it was quite new) so in that sense is much better.

They also seem a lot more supportive in general/have made changes from when I was there last for the better (?)

To be totally honest I don’t know where this leaves me now. L (EDP) wasn’t there so I won’t see her/talk to her about where this leaves everything until next Monday.

However from our session this week i do know that this does not mean that I can sit and allow anorexia to dictate everything and keep me stuck. As L keeps reiterating to me, I have to be making changes.

It is not that I don’t want to get better, I have just gotten so bloody stuck and feel so trapped and alone.

That is one thing that would be helpful in terms of a short admission - it would hopefully be a push in the right direction that I could then maybe continue from at home in the community. and not to mention that it would also give my parents a bit of a break from everything.

In terms of therapy I dont think there would be any 1:1 due to the short period of time I would be there. Although she did say that the length of admission is always up for discussion and it would all depend on how my OP workers want to work and how I am managing on the ward/if I can transfer it home on leave.

idrk how to feel right now. Or how I do feel. It is all so overwhelming and a lot to try to take in

I don’t want to have an admission but evidence is piling up that staying in the community really isn’t working and every person in my team (as well as my parents) are convinced I will be going in :(

And I suppose that is all there is to say really. I am left feeling a little clearer in some ways but at the same time not so much? it’s messy

and I am beyond tired after two very long and exhausting/tiring days. I know I can’t sit around and wait to try to process everything that is happening but I feel like I really need to press a pause button for a while in order to catch up with myself (which I know is never going to happen)

as we all know, there will always be another excuse or reason to put things off. Another reason why we are ‘different’ to others or why there are other people who deserve support more.

But it is all noise from anorexia to try to keep us trapped and stuck for even longer.

I am so tired of this existence. the thought of another admission terrifies me but not as much as a life time spent trapped here.

I wish that I had a positive revelation to end this on but alas, I have nothing. All I want is my bed and a good night’s sleep right now and some magic answer to whisk this all away (if only eh?). Thank you for all your messages of support and kindness over the past few days, it has meant more than I can express to know that I have not been alone in this x

[chaniters]

Ortega’s Week of Hell!

Sidestep needs his sleep, and will stop at nothing to get it. Also, I keep adding two titles because of reasons. 

(Broken Window Theory.)

Ortega’s week of hell!

Monday.

Your hiding spot reeks so badly... and you’ve been here for half an hour longer than you expected.  You want to get out. But you'r determined to follow through with this. Your life, your sleep and your sanity are at stake. This far, no further.

He's late. Why? Did something happen ? You curse your luck that you can't read his mind. It's unusual, but hardly your first time.  Your trainers gave you a very long list of reasons why your telepathy might not work. You haven't yet figured what's the correct checkbox for this one.

Oh. And there he is. 

You see his car turning the corner, then stopping at the street light. You've timed this. He HAS to stop at the street light, it's just how the sequence goes.  

OK. It's now or never. You are ready.

You bolt upwards pushing the lid of the dumpster open, and hop off onto the pavement, then start a fast sprint. You've only got a few seconds.... 

You see him rocking his head lightly. He must be listening to music on the radio.

You focus all your training... your anger... your force of will... your sleepless nights... all of it goes into the flying brick.

"CRASH!" The glass explodes as the brick goes trough the back row's left window. 

"Hey what the gives?!" 

He stops the engine and the driver's door opens. He gets off and looks at the damage, then at you. But he can't see your face.

You'r covered in mountainwear. A red snowboarding jacket, mirrored green googles, blue gloves, black boots, yellow pants and a white balaclava. 

They never let you wear colors back at the farm. You like colors.

"What the fuck did you do to my car...? Hey.. Hey i'm talking to you!" he keeps yelling as you start to sprint again "Hey! "

He chases you. You know he's definitely stronger, but you'r faster. And you have an escape plan. You focus your mind and make the bus driver stop and open the door at the precise moment. 

You hop in... and it drives away at full speed. You can see him swearing at you in the distance. He knows some colorful words. Actually breaks a smile from you.

Hopefully he will find the note tied to the brick.

"Mr. Molotov will rob Kyffany's jewelry store at Wilfire Bvd. and Romeo street today between 6 and 8 pm." Written in letters you cut from magazines and newspapers. 

..... later that night. ......

You watch the news on the old tv.

"Good evening! My Name is Mia Ochoa, here live in Los Diablos! We are currently with Charge, Marshal of the Rangers, who just frustrated Mr. Molotov's last heist. The Villain is still at large, but his plan was foiled when Charge....” *click* You turn the Tv off.

“FUCK!” He didn’t catch him?!?!

Not 20 minutes later you hear the door slam upstairs. You can sense his mind. He's furious. Humiliated. He doesn't waste time and turns on the drill again. And he starts hammering more metal pieces... he's going to work all night on his suit... No more sleeping for you. Fuck.

Tuesday.

“CRASH!”

“NOT AGAIN! YOU! STAY RIGHT THERE! DON’T YOU RUN COWARD!”

“Mr. Molotov escaped once more on a stolen car, after Charge foiled his plot to rob the bank this morning...” *click*

Wednesday.

“CRASH” 

“THAT BELONGED TO MY GRANDFATHER ! I’M GONNA GET YOU FOR THIS!”

“Charge seems to be always one step ahead of the Villain, who barely managed to elude the police after he being beaten repeatedly by the hero.” *click*

Thursday.

“CRASH”

“NO... No no no... this isn’t happening... WHY! Hey why.. why won’t you speak to me?”

“ Witnesses say he dived into a truck carrying manure that just passed under the high road, and that when he got off,  one of his bombs detonated causing an explosion of sh... .” *click*

Friday.

“THUNK” Woops.. you missed

“OOOOW! My arm..!”

“Villain was humiliated by Charge once more, but he still wasn’t...” *click*

Saturday

“SPLASH”

“You little bastard! IS this fun to you? Huh? Yeah, you have nothing to say? Yeah.. just run away like you always do...!” You escape as he yells from inside his swimming pool.

“Villain fell three stories to escape Charge who had fought him to a standstill...” *click*

Sunday

You raise your hand... take aim ... and... what ? Someone holds your arm.

You turn in a swift movement... It’s Charge... he sneaked up behind you.

“Will you please... stop?” he pleads.

You look at him through your googles. Then you look at your brick.

He lets go of your arm.

You offer him the brick.

He studies you for a few seconds, and finally smiles.

______________________

My Fanfics: https://chaniters.tumblr.com/post/181692759294/my-fanfiction-for-fallen-hero

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fan fiction using characters and the setting of the Fallen Hero: Rebirth and upcoming Fallen Hero: Retribution games written by Malin Riden. I do not claim ownership of any characters from the Fallen Hero wold. These stories are a work of my imagination, and I do not ascribe them to the official story canon. These works are intended for entertainment outside the official storyline owned by the author. I am not profiting financially from the creation of these stories, and thank the author for her wonderful game/s, without which these works would not exist.

[keywestlou]

SIZABLE PORTION OF BIG SUR WASHED AWAY

America has been blessed with many beautiful nature scenes. One is Big Sur in California. Officiously known as California Highway 1.

Many years ago, I was in the area of Big Sur to play golf at Pebble Beach. My tee time one of the days was in the afternoon. I decided to see the Big Sur I had heard so much about.

Rented a car and was on my way.

The coast of California near San Francisco and running through Carmel is one huge cliff. Not as high as those in Santorini. High enough, however. At least 1,500 to 2,000 feet up.

A highway was carved out which runs sometimes on top of the cliff and other times a road has been cut into the side of the cliff.

Below the Pacific Ocean! Majestic waves pounding the base of the cliff.

Majestic! Beautiful! The only way to describe Big Sur.

I was sorry I was alone. The drive is one to be shared with someone with whom you have a close attachment. Such is the mood!

This morning’s news carries the sad story that a significant portion of the highway has been washed away by a winter storm. Obviously that portion of the highway will be closed till repaired. Could take quite a while.

One last observation. There are very few homes along the way. Only nature in all its pristine glory.

Joe Manchin is Governor of West Virginia. A Democrat who seems over the years to have voted more Republican than Democrat.

Can’t blame him. West Virginia a deeply Republican state. Coal mining a major industry.

It was announced yesterday that West Virginia was a “vaccine success” story. Eighty five percent of its doses requirement received and used. Yes, 85 percent of West Virginia has been vaccinated.

Only North Dakota has done better.

Why West Virginia and North Dakota can do it and the other 48 states still struggling to get going, I do not understand.

The numbers reported were by the CDC and not West Virginia itself.

A civil servant in charge of the program said it was the result of “creativity” and “innovation.” West Virginia studied what was happening in the rest of the U.S. and came up with their own plan.

The State did not activate the federal partnership with CVS and Walgreens. Instead went it alone.

West Virginia is more rural than big city. The State went to the small independent drug stores. Many mom and pop operations. State officials thought such would prove productive. Obviously, they were correct.

The small drug stores went to the people’s homes and farms. They did not wait for them to come to town for a shot.

Many persons live 40-50 miles away from the big cities and chain drug stores.

One story told involves a mom and pop type operation with a couple of employees. They stored the vaccine in a special refrigerator in their home kitchen. Six every morning they were at their kitchen table figuring where to go that day and arranging the vaccines to be carried.

It all worked! God bless Joe Manchin and the people of West Virginia!

I would like Florida’s Governor DeSantis to plan better as Joe Manchin did. Every DeSantis planned program thus far has failed. Looks good up front and then peters out.

Going to run Day 6…..Greece the First Time at this point. Then return to some other news items I wish to share.

  DAY 6…..Greece The First Time

Posted on June 2, 2012 by Key West Lou

Greece is a time bomb waiting to explode.

The people are unhappy. The financial crisis is choking them.

Economics is the topic of conversation everyday. Expressed with increased vehemence each day.

Riots around the corner. Protests already. The situation a tinderbox ready to ignite.

I was on my way to the Metro Underground beneath the plaza in front of Parliament yesterday. Thousands of people walk the plaza hourly. In one corner near the entrance to the Metro, several young people were carrying signs. One was talking into a loudspeaker.

Speaking Greek, of course. I neither speak nor understand the language.

About 50 persons milling about listening. I mingled in the crowd. I was able to pick up the gist of the protest from comments made by onlookers. Economics. The euro.

Listeners aroused. The name Merkle caused several to spit on the ground.

Recently, Greece had an election. Neither the left nor right obtained enough votes to control the government. So the Greek Parliament is floating along. The country in limbo.

A new election is scheduled some time in June.

Italy’s former Prime Minster Berlusconi announced yesterday that unless Germany backed off the euro, Italy should return to the lira. Germany appears the only European nation benefiting from the euro. The Greeks and Italians dislike the Germans. They feel Germany is being hard ass about doing something corrective regarding the economy. Whatever might be done would not be to the financial benefit of Germany.

Beware. I sense bad days ahead. Keep in mind that we live in a global world. Whatever happens in Greece and elsewhere affects us in the United States.

I spent 3 hours doing yesterday’s blog. I sat in one position and typed for the three hours. When I finished, my legs from my knees to my ankles were full of fluid. I went back to my room, took a fluid pill and lay on the bed three hours till the problem was relieved. Today I am getting up and moving about on occasion as I write.

I took the Metro Underground. It is a subway. I have not been on a subway since my senior year in college in New York City in 1957.

The purpose of taking the Metro was to visit Acropolis and the Parthenon. Way up a hill. Better to ride than to walk. One stop on the Metro.

A problem. The Metro Acropolis stop was still at least a mile from the entrance. An uphill walk. At a constant 30 degree angle. In the boiling sun.

Not my cup of tea. I had to stop not several times, but many times to sit and rest. As I sat, many passed me by going to the top. Many  older than I. Some obviously infirmed. While Louis sat, they marched.

The first part of the return trip was a problem also. The initial path down was of marble. Huge irregular blocks. Slippery. Small cuts in the marble to minimize the sliding factor. I slid, did not fall. It was not easy.

The trip was worth it. I was a part of history during the time I was on top. Acropolis, the Parthenon and other smaller temples. The most stimulating factor for me was the realization that all I saw was constructed BEFORE Christ. Way before.

Acropolis a temple to the Gods. The most exciting feature of the Parthenon the columns.

The smaller temples had columns also. However, they were copies. Some time back, there was a violent earthquake. The columns could not handle the movement. To protect them from a future abuse by nature, they were removed and replaced. The originals sit in a museum at a point down the hill.

Two generationally different fat cats responsible for much of what has been done. Pericles back in the 400s BC. The Rockefeller Foundation in recent times.

All the buildings are fragile. Thousands of years old. Modern man is constantly working to preserve that which was. There are scaffolds and cranes every where.

There had to be a topping on the cake after such a glorious walk back in history. It came in the evening. Dinner at Dionysus Restaurant.

Dionysus sits at the foot of the historical mountain. About a mile away. It is a huge outdoor restaurant. Top self. Great lamb. Greater view. Expensive. Worth it.

There in front of my eyes on top of the hill sat the Acropolis and Parthenon. All brightly lite. Awe inspiring. The viewing emotional.

Traditionally Dionysus was the God of the grape harvest. He was also known as Bacchus. Party boy! Festivals galore!

Did I sleep last night? Finally! The first full night’s sleep since starting this trip. I hope the jet lag is behind me.

Today is my last in Athens. Tomorrow I leave for Santorini. I still have not danced nor thrown dishes around. Hopefully tonight. There is a little Zorba in each of us.

Yesterday was Ally’s birthday. Seven years old. I forgot. I will Skype her later and make up for it. I selected a birthday gift for her before I left and gave it to her. So I am only half bad in forgetting.

I know not what today holds. Whatever, it will be good. I am in a place where it cannot be bad. And tonight….hopefully dancing and dish breaking.

Enjoy your day!

Back to today’s news.

Trump continues to have lawyer problems. Big ones! No one wants to represent him in the Impeachment trial. First Giuliani and some others withdrew or could not accept the responsibility for various reasons. A new team of 5 came on board.

The five lawyers withdrew with the trial scheduled to begin 10 days from today. The reason was a difference of opinion as to how the trial should be handled.

Trump insisted election fraud be the top item. His attorney’s disagreed. The trial should surround impeachment issues and not whether Trump was elected. Sixty one courts had already shot Trump down on that issue.

I admire the attorneys for withdrawing. A doctor does not let the patient tell him how to do the brain surgery surgery he is facing. So too with the attorney-client situation. A competent attorney would do as the 5 attorneys did. My way or the highway.

L. Lin Wood is a Georgia attorney who brought several election fraud conspiracy cases to court. Each wherein he represented Trump in one fashion or another.

The Georgia Bar Association has now entered upon the scene.The  Bar has asked Wood to undergo a mental health evaluation. Lin has refused. Refusal could mean suspension or disbarment.

Lin has opted to fight. He has taken the position he did nothing wrong, only exercised his Constitutional right to free speech.

Amazing isn’t it how many of those who have tried to help Trump eventually end up behind the eight ball.

What happened to the Republican House and Senate members who feared for their lives on January 6, who hid under tables and benches behind locked doors, etc.

With the Trump impeachment trial around the corner, their tune has changed. Poor Donald! He didn’t tell the demonstrators to do bad, etc.

Whores one and all!

January 6 reminds me of the Reichstag fire in Germany on February 27, 1933. Hitler inspired. The fire solidified the establishment of Nazi Germany. Hitler’s government became entrenched.

The U.S. is not yet entrenched in any movement opposite to what it has been for many years. However, it could be moving that way. People on both sides are aroused.

Sunday, oh Sunday! Will my home quarantine ever end? Some days I think it is getting to me.

Enjoy your Sunday!

  SIZABLE PORTION OF BIG SUR WASHED AWAY was originally published on Key West Lou

[arplis]

Arplis - News: Hi guys, Brian here

I’m writing this post because we found out yesterday that Emily is allergic to pollen. Like, suuuuper allergic. Like, looking at her you’d think she’d watched “The Notebook” and the opening sequence from “Up” back to back. Her poor little lash-less eyes are so red and watery that she can barely see. Also she’s been so congested at night that she can’t sleep. So last night she took something to knock herself out, and she’s still out as I write this, which is 7:39 am on Friday. That’s crazy for Emily, she’s usually up at 5:30 writing posts for the blog. So now I’m up early writing for the blog. I’ll keep you posted on when she wakes up… Hopefully, she goes for a while, she needs it. Let’s start with a video so you can get the full scale and get Emily right before the pollen fully attacked (just wait for the ad to play). OK. I’m back. The garage. This has a special significance for me because there’s something innate in men to have a squared away garage. I think it’s because the garage is the one room in the house (or out of the house I guess) where function matters more than form. It’s kind of the only place where I can win some design battles. In a garage, you’re not trying to figure out which pouf would offset the muted tones of a chaise lounge, you’re trying to figure out how many rakes can we fit on that wall. And that’s my kind of design. The problem is, I’m lacking motivation to do things right now, which I think is a symptom of the whole quarantine thing. After home-schooling the kids in the morning, I find myself acting like an old British man, mumbling incoherently and stumbling around the house in a daze until cocktail hour. But Emily, pre-allergies, is ever-motivated and kept threatened to do the garage herself until I acquiesced. So off to the garage we went! Our garage here at the Mountain House is pretty small and has not been organized in about a year. Plus it was the storage site for the reader event we threw and photoshoots we did last year, so there’s a lot that needs to be sorted and donated or driven back to LA. Here’s Emily showing off the space before her face got attacked by pollen. As you can see, we never spent a lot of time thinking about the organization of this space. Emily and I are both kind of “I’ll just put this here and deal with it later” people, which isn’t a good combination when it comes to garages. We’ve got a shelving unit up, but it’s not being used very well. And we’ve got lots of random stuff near the shelves, but we just didn’t make it to the final step of putting them on the shelves, which is hilarious. Plus we have a bunch of stuff we need to find new homes for (not in our home) like the rugs, and some chairs, and some lampshades. We have a LOT of random lampshades. Anyone else have that problem? BTW, it’s 8:01 am, and still no Emily. It’s getting to that point where I might go check to see if she’s still breathing. So after Emily got the old British drunk to focus on the garage, we figured out some specific things that we needed: storage for our tools and yard stuff, space for our bikes, an area that we can rotate for seasonal things like beach stuff in summer and sled stuff in winter, a redesign of the shelving, and of course space enough to park my 6 seat “Ferrari” golf cart, which I will still defend as one of the best craigslist finds any human has ever made. I mean the best, right?? Ok moving along… It should be noted that there originally wasn’t access to the garage from inside the house so we put in that little stairway (it has to be that big for code, but we could certainly reduce its footprint). We love the access and we use it all the time but it does mean that we will never be able to put an actual car in here. But honestly, it’s so small that we don’t know if we would have been able to fit our big cars anyway. So yes, we need to be able to put the Ferrari in there, but that’s about it. Here are more pics of the whole original mess: We have a lot of Christmas stuff in those bins, which takes up a lot of space. We need to find a new spot for it though because it’s silly that something we only use for two months is dictating so much space for the whole year. First Round of Organization After everything was removed and cleaned it was much easier to see what might be possible in there. We gave some stuff to some neighbors up here, we drove some stuff back to LA, we relocated some stuff, and we learned that we had a lot of broken things that had to go in the trash. Emily just came out of the bedroom, it’s 8:11 am. I don’t think she’s slept in that late since college. She says she’s feeling better today. So here are some decisions we still need to make: We need shelving, but could certainly make it nicer than that. And while we love that staircase do we want to make it nicer than that? Paint the janky railing? Like I said, we could have made it just three steps down without the railing but not legally, so we put in this big guy. We aren’t terribly motivated to demo it out and likely will just work with it for now. The big black fridge came out of the kitchen during the remodel, and we were using it for secondary food storage, until someone accidentally unplugged it before we left for a few months. When we came back and made the mistake of cracking the door open, we were slapped with the most gag-inducing putrid smell and discovered a moldy sludge that had covered all the surfaces. We closed it back up and there it sits like the arc of the covenant, waiting to melt someone else’s face off. We tried disinfecting it, but it may be a lost cause. We need to make a call on this one. Like how much do we REALLY need a garage fridge?? Emily doesn’t think we need a garage fridge, because apparently she’s ok with pulling out 12 pounds of food to access the thing she wants in the back of our kitchen fridge. She says we’re doing fine without it now, but I’m less optimistic. Maybe things will change in a bit, but right now we are doing huge grocery shops to lessen the frequency of shopping, which means that every time we open the fridge it’s like that cliché scene in every comedy movie where the guy opens the closet full of stuff and everything falls on top of him, capped by a late bowling ball to the head. That’s our fridge, but it’s a jar of bread and butter pickles that rolls out last. I also think a garage fridge is a perfect pace for beverages, which take up a bunch of room. And our kids aren’t old enough yet to try to steal adult beverages out of the garage fridge, so we’re good right? I mean, once they turn 13, I’ll put a lock on it, like my friend Alan’s dad should have. But for now, we’re good. What do you guys think? Fridge or no fridge? I got a big-brimmed hat at the hardware store and I’m now super into yard work. I bagged 17 contractor bags of oak leaves last week and still have more to do, so I obviously need some space for my tools. We have this little nook that is a covered space for storage if need be (and another entrance into the garage), we may put the bikes in here if we can figure out how to get them in there and still have space to get into the garage from the side yard. It took hours for us to clean and it wasn’t pretty. It was full of so much extra tile, leaves, random paint cans, our friend’s kayaks we just inherited, and empty gross Pepsi bottles left over from the construction crew (from two years ago). We feel very accomplished that it looks like this now: We actually found some unused space up in the attic that we stuffed all the Christmas and winter stuff in, which was super helpful. The attic entrance is across from the kids’ play area, and the other storage space we have is behind a hidden door that goes to the guts of the house. What’s Now? We still have to figure out things like the shelving and the fridge. We also are going to find a way to hang the bikes because they take up an abnormal amount of space. Also, the ceilings are nice and high, so we’re trying to figure out if there’s a way to hang some stuff up there for storage. The Solutions We need some tool storage but I don’t know if we really need anything fancy. It seems like at least considering something like this (below) would be nice and may make me feel more manly. Like whenever I have to replace a battery in a kid’s toy I can make a big deal out of folding out my workbench and feel like a handy guy. image source I’m also worried that I would leave all my tools on the table instead of hanging them up in their right place. I think I may need a big box to throw them in. I know, I’m lazy, but it’s folly to think that I’m going to change. This person’s garage is dreamy. design and photo by simply organized I feel like this is good inspo for storage. The only problem for us is that the space between the wall and that big staircase is pretty narrow so I don’t think we could hang bikes and pull the golf cart in…. a sentence I never imagined that I would ever write. Sorry, I know these are all champagne “problems” but hey, we’re writing what we’re actually going through up here. But I really like how there’s two rows of storage happening, the shelf for bins and underneath for hanging things that get used often. These are some good broom and rake storage options that could work: 1. LETMY Broom Holder Wall Mounted | 2. Corner Double Tool Rack | 3. Koova Wall Mount Garden and Garage Tool Organizer | 4. Deluxe Tool Tower | 5. Goowin Broom Holder | 6. Stalwart Rolling Garden We thought about getting a small outdoor shed to house things like rakes and such, but I think it makes more sense to keep everything contained to the garage. Plus it’s been impossible to find a shed that has gotten Emily’s approval. image source We got into mountain biking up here, and Charlie is finally up and running on a peddle bike, so we definitely will be using them a lot. Right now, I think mine is laying in a pile of leaves on one side of the house while Emily’s and Charlie’s are sprawled out around a tree on the other side. That can’t keep happening, our neighbors must think that we’ve been raptured mid-bike-ride. So we will try one of these. Have you guys used any that you recommend? 1. TORACK Bike Rack Garage | 2. 6-Bike Storage Rack 2.0 | 3. Elfa Utility Vertical Bike Hook | 4. Copenhagen Wall Mount Bike Rack | 5. Delta Cycle Leonardo Da Vinci Single Bike Storage| 6. Bike Wall Mount And while we’ve found a way to clear out most of our bins, I’m sure we’ll accumulate more, so we’ll need a good vertical storage system. I’d love to say I could build one, but I’d also love to say that I can do a standing jump over a car or that I can run faster than a gazelle. I’m just not that handy y’all. design and photo by simply organized | design and photo by modern builds Here are some solutions we are considering… 1. Platinum Elfa Utility Basement Storage | 2. Bror | 3. Matias the Heavy Duty Storage System Ceiling Mounted Rack | 4. Shelf Steel Freestanding Storage Cabinet | 5. Chrome-Finished Tower Shelving | 6. LEXIMOUNTS WR24B Storage Rack Lord knows we go through a lot of storage here in Emily Hendersonland, and we’ve used lots of types of bins. Here are my tips – they can’t be hard plastic because they break, they have to have a good seal, preferably not the clip handle because those break, they should have good grips for when you move them a hundred times, and they should be stackable. 1. Tough Storage Bin | 2. Brute Tote Storage Container | 3. Heavy Duty 54 Gal. Storage Bin So that’s where we are with the garage so far. We’ve got a long way to go, but it’s looking much better in there, plus we’ve kept it pretty clean since the organizing day. We’ll see how long that lasts. But at least for now, the garage is no longer a place to just dump stuff and go, it’s clean and organized and we can see the potential. Or at least I can see the potential, Emily may not be able to see much until spring is over. Stupid pollen. The post We Tackled Our Non-Functional Garage and These Are Our Ideas To Maximize It appeared first on Emily Henderson. #Design101 #MountainHouse #Design101

Arplis - News source https://arplis.com/blogs/news/hi-guys-brian-here

[agilenano]

Agilenano - News: Hi guys, Brian here

I’m writing this post because we found out yesterday that Emily is allergic to pollen. Like, suuuuper allergic. Like, looking at her you’d think she’d watched “The Notebook” and the opening sequence from “Up” back to back. Her poor little lash-less eyes are so red and watery that she can barely see. Also she’s been so congested at night that she can’t sleep. So last night she took something to knock herself out, and she’s still out as I write this, which is 7:39 am on Friday. That’s crazy for Emily, she’s usually up at 5:30 writing posts for the blog. So now I’m up early writing for the blog. I’ll keep you posted on when she wakes up… Hopefully, she goes for a while, she needs it. Let’s start with a video so you can get the full scale and get Emily right before the pollen fully attacked (just wait for the ad to play). OK. I’m back. The garage. This has a special significance for me because there’s something innate in men to have a squared away garage. I think it’s because the garage is the one room in the house (or out of the house I guess) where function matters more than form. It’s kind of the only place where I can win some design battles. In a garage, you’re not trying to figure out which pouf would offset the muted tones of a chaise lounge, you’re trying to figure out how many rakes can we fit on that wall. And that’s my kind of design. The problem is, I’m lacking motivation to do things right now, which I think is a symptom of the whole quarantine thing. After home-schooling the kids in the morning, I find myself acting like an old British man, mumbling incoherently and stumbling around the house in a daze until cocktail hour. But Emily, pre-allergies, is ever-motivated and kept threatened to do the garage herself until I acquiesced. So off to the garage we went! Our garage here at the Mountain House is pretty small and has not been organized in about a year. Plus it was the storage site for the reader event we threw and photoshoots we did last year, so there’s a lot that needs to be sorted and donated or driven back to LA. Here’s Emily showing off the space before her face got attacked by pollen. As you can see, we never spent a lot of time thinking about the organization of this space. Emily and I are both kind of “I’ll just put this here and deal with it later” people, which isn’t a good combination when it comes to garages. We’ve got a shelving unit up, but it’s not being used very well. And we’ve got lots of random stuff near the shelves, but we just didn’t make it to the final step of putting them on the shelves, which is hilarious. Plus we have a bunch of stuff we need to find new homes for (not in our home) like the rugs, and some chairs, and some lampshades. We have a LOT of random lampshades. Anyone else have that problem? BTW, it’s 8:01 am, and still no Emily. It’s getting to that point where I might go check to see if she’s still breathing. So after Emily got the old British drunk to focus on the garage, we figured out some specific things that we needed: storage for our tools and yard stuff, space for our bikes, an area that we can rotate for seasonal things like beach stuff in summer and sled stuff in winter, a redesign of the shelving, and of course space enough to park my 6 seat “Ferrari” golf cart, which I will still defend as one of the best craigslist finds any human has ever made. I mean the best, right?? Ok moving along… It should be noted that there originally wasn’t access to the garage from inside the house so we put in that little stairway (it has to be that big for code, but we could certainly reduce its footprint). We love the access and we use it all the time but it does mean that we will never be able to put an actual car in here. But honestly, it’s so small that we don’t know if we would have been able to fit our big cars anyway. So yes, we need to be able to put the Ferrari in there, but that’s about it. Here are more pics of the whole original mess: We have a lot of Christmas stuff in those bins, which takes up a lot of space. We need to find a new spot for it though because it’s silly that something we only use for two months is dictating so much space for the whole year. First Round of Organization After everything was removed and cleaned it was much easier to see what might be possible in there. We gave some stuff to some neighbors up here, we drove some stuff back to LA, we relocated some stuff, and we learned that we had a lot of broken things that had to go in the trash. Emily just came out of the bedroom, it’s 8:11 am. I don’t think she’s slept in that late since college. She says she’s feeling better today. So here are some decisions we still need to make: We need shelving, but could certainly make it nicer than that. And while we love that staircase do we want to make it nicer than that? Paint the janky railing? Like I said, we could have made it just three steps down without the railing but not legally, so we put in this big guy. We aren’t terribly motivated to demo it out and likely will just work with it for now. The big black fridge came out of the kitchen during the remodel, and we were using it for secondary food storage, until someone accidentally unplugged it before we left for a few months. When we came back and made the mistake of cracking the door open, we were slapped with the most gag-inducing putrid smell and discovered a moldy sludge that had covered all the surfaces. We closed it back up and there it sits like the arc of the covenant, waiting to melt someone else’s face off. We tried disinfecting it, but it may be a lost cause. We need to make a call on this one. Like how much do we REALLY need a garage fridge?? Emily doesn’t think we need a garage fridge, because apparently she’s ok with pulling out 12 pounds of food to access the thing she wants in the back of our kitchen fridge. She says we’re doing fine without it now, but I’m less optimistic. Maybe things will change in a bit, but right now we are doing huge grocery shops to lessen the frequency of shopping, which means that every time we open the fridge it’s like that cliché scene in every comedy movie where the guy opens the closet full of stuff and everything falls on top of him, capped by a late bowling ball to the head. That’s our fridge, but it’s a jar of bread and butter pickles that rolls out last. I also think a garage fridge is a perfect pace for beverages, which take up a bunch of room. And our kids aren’t old enough yet to try to steal adult beverages out of the garage fridge, so we’re good right? I mean, once they turn 13, I’ll put a lock on it, like my friend Alan’s dad should have. But for now, we’re good. What do you guys think? Fridge or no fridge? I got a big-brimmed hat at the hardware store and I’m now super into yard work. I bagged 17 contractor bags of oak leaves last week and still have more to do, so I obviously need some space for my tools. We have this little nook that is a covered space for storage if need be (and another entrance into the garage), we may put the bikes in here if we can figure out how to get them in there and still have space to get into the garage from the side yard. It took hours for us to clean and it wasn’t pretty. It was full of so much extra tile, leaves, random paint cans, our friend’s kayaks we just inherited, and empty gross Pepsi bottles left over from the construction crew (from two years ago). We feel very accomplished that it looks like this now: We actually found some unused space up in the attic that we stuffed all the Christmas and winter stuff in, which was super helpful. The attic entrance is across from the kids’ play area, and the other storage space we have is behind a hidden door that goes to the guts of the house. What’s Now? We still have to figure out things like the shelving and the fridge. We also are going to find a way to hang the bikes because they take up an abnormal amount of space. Also, the ceilings are nice and high, so we’re trying to figure out if there’s a way to hang some stuff up there for storage. The Solutions We need some tool storage but I don’t know if we really need anything fancy. It seems like at least considering something like this (below) would be nice and may make me feel more manly. Like whenever I have to replace a battery in a kid’s toy I can make a big deal out of folding out my workbench and feel like a handy guy. image source I’m also worried that I would leave all my tools on the table instead of hanging them up in their right place. I think I may need a big box to throw them in. I know, I’m lazy, but it’s folly to think that I’m going to change. This person’s garage is dreamy. design and photo by simply organized I feel like this is good inspo for storage. The only problem for us is that the space between the wall and that big staircase is pretty narrow so I don’t think we could hang bikes and pull the golf cart in…. a sentence I never imagined that I would ever write. Sorry, I know these are all champagne “problems” but hey, we’re writing what we’re actually going through up here. But I really like how there’s two rows of storage happening, the shelf for bins and underneath for hanging things that get used often. These are some good broom and rake storage options that could work: 1. LETMY Broom Holder Wall Mounted | 2. Corner Double Tool Rack | 3. Koova Wall Mount Garden and Garage Tool Organizer | 4. Deluxe Tool Tower | 5. Goowin Broom Holder | 6. Stalwart Rolling Garden We thought about getting a small outdoor shed to house things like rakes and such, but I think it makes more sense to keep everything contained to the garage. Plus it’s been impossible to find a shed that has gotten Emily’s approval. image source We got into mountain biking up here, and Charlie is finally up and running on a peddle bike, so we definitely will be using them a lot. Right now, I think mine is laying in a pile of leaves on one side of the house while Emily’s and Charlie’s are sprawled out around a tree on the other side. That can’t keep happening, our neighbors must think that we’ve been raptured mid-bike-ride. So we will try one of these. Have you guys used any that you recommend? 1. TORACK Bike Rack Garage | 2. 6-Bike Storage Rack 2.0 | 3. Elfa Utility Vertical Bike Hook | 4. Copenhagen Wall Mount Bike Rack | 5. Delta Cycle Leonardo Da Vinci Single Bike Storage| 6. Bike Wall Mount And while we’ve found a way to clear out most of our bins, I’m sure we’ll accumulate more, so we’ll need a good vertical storage system. I’d love to say I could build one, but I’d also love to say that I can do a standing jump over a car or that I can run faster than a gazelle. I’m just not that handy y’all. design and photo by simply organized | design and photo by modern builds Here are some solutions we are considering… 1. Platinum Elfa Utility Basement Storage | 2. Bror | 3. Matias the Heavy Duty Storage System Ceiling Mounted Rack | 4. Shelf Steel Freestanding Storage Cabinet | 5. Chrome-Finished Tower Shelving | 6. LEXIMOUNTS WR24B Storage Rack Lord knows we go through a lot of storage here in Emily Hendersonland, and we’ve used lots of types of bins. Here are my tips – they can’t be hard plastic because they break, they have to have a good seal, preferably not the clip handle because those break, they should have good grips for when you move them a hundred times, and they should be stackable. 1. Tough Storage Bin | 2. Brute Tote Storage Container | 3. Heavy Duty 54 Gal. Storage Bin So that’s where we are with the garage so far. We’ve got a long way to go, but it’s looking much better in there, plus we’ve kept it pretty clean since the organizing day. We’ll see how long that lasts. But at least for now, the garage is no longer a place to just dump stuff and go, it’s clean and organized and we can see the potential. Or at least I can see the potential, Emily may not be able to see much until spring is over. Stupid pollen. The post We Tackled Our Non-Functional Garage and These Are Our Ideas To Maximize It appeared first on Emily Henderson. #MountainHouse #Design101 #Design101

Agilenano - News from Agilenano from shopsnetwork (4 sites) https://agilenano.com/blogs/news/hi-guys-brian-here

[drarry-with-a-side-of-wolfstar]

All-Time Favourite Ships!

From books, movies, Broadway, and TV shows!

(list not in any particular order and may contain spoilers).

1. Bellarke: Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffen from The 100 (TV)

Okay, I know I said that the list is in no particular order, but this ship is my all time OTP since I started watching The 100. And I can’t sleep at night knowing that they are not officially canon yet, even if it was pretty clear in Praimfiya that it will be endgame! So exited for their reunion in Season 5. I spend hours on end reading Bellarke fan fiction all day, every day. And Bellamy is my baby and I love his so much. And I can’t wait to see how he is after the six-year time jump on the show. Sometimes, I think that I watch the show just for these two.

2. Haleb: Hanna Marin and Caleb Rivers from Pretty Little Liars (TV)

Again, like I said that this list is in no particular order, this ship would defiantly be in my top 5. Anyway, I still have to properly sit down and watch Season 7B of Pretty Little Liars so don’t spoil anything for me. Haleb in my opinion, is the best ship on this show, but I think towards the early seasons I used to ship Ezria more but when Caleb showed up with his long hair, I died. And therefore, they became my favourite ship. I remember, I put watching the show on break after Caleb left to do his own show is either season 3 or 4, I don’t remember exactly. But yeah, these two are pretty cute together and I hope it stays that way.

3. Stydia: Stiles Stilinksi and Lydia Martin from Teen Wolf (TV)

Okay, again, probably in my top 7. So, the thing with Stydia is that they dragged it out for so long that the anticipation killed me. But I love them still so much. And Dylan O’Brian is just on a different level of awesomeness (and cuteness). And Lydia, even though she used to annoy me at first, and Teen Wolf is probably not my favourite TV show, but it’s still good, and Lydia’s character started to grow on me and I need to catch up on Season 6, (don’t judge me guys, the past few moths for me have been really busy) and I just recently started to watch this show, like maybe two years ago, but still, love love love.

4. Linctavia: Lincoln and Octavia Blake from The 100 (TV)

Okay, so another The 100 ship, but oh my lord I scream every time someone mentions them! They are so adorably cute and the flyest of power couples who don’t give a damn about what people think. And every time I think of Lincoln, I just might well cry because he didn’t deserve what he got. Fucking Pike. I’m glad Octavia killed him. And the song to which Lincoln dies to, and the one where Octavia’s scream and cries are kinda muffled, it’s called Cloud by Elias, and it’s in my playlist and then I have a mini breakdown when it comes on and think of Lincoln falling on his knees in the tiny puddle and Octavia and I just cry a little more on the inside. Anyway, probably the best couple to ever exist on the show and maybe even ever in this whole damn world. They were so fucking badass together, I loved every minute of it.

5. Sciles: Scott McCall and Stiles Stilinski from Teen Wolf (TV)

Okay, so this is like my favourite BROTP of all eternity. I just think that their relationship is so cute and how much they care about each other, and the hug in season 3 is my everything, ahhh, I just love them so much it hurts. And throughout the show we can see their friendship grow even though they have been friends since they were little. Damn, I wish I had a friendship like that. 

6. Chair: Charles “Chuck” Bass and Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl (TV)

Ahhh, Blair and Chuck, Chuck and Blair! I don’t think anyone will ever know how happy I was when the endgame for their endgame actually happened. Honestly, I was rooting for them since Blair’s birthday episode in the first season, even when everyone was after Nate and Blair, but no, not gonna happen. I just thought that Nate was very innocent and nice for Blair. Blair needed someone like Chuck and I don’t think anyone ever loved anyone else as much as Chuck loves Blair. I love them, they are so perfect for each other, with their games. I wish I had a Chuck. Blair’s lucky. Haha.

7. Literati: Jess Mariano and Rory Gilmore from Gilmore Girls (TV)

I wanted them to be endgame so bad. I remember I stopped watching Gilmore Girls after Jess leaves to go to the West Coast, and I wanted to punch his so bad, but I didn’t want to destroy his pretty face like the Swan did (if you know what I’m talking about HMU). And I low-key hated Logan, I don’t know exactly why, but I just did, but I think I’m over it now. But still I wanted these two to be together forever, cause they are just so perfect for each other and so balanced I loved it while it happened. But they can’t be together, and I shall be forever sad. 

8. Percabeth: Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase from The Percy Jackson and the Olympians Series, and The Heroes of Olympus Series (Books)

Okay, so the kiss underwater made my 4th grade self go absolutely crazy with happiness. But I guess, my favourite moment from (both) of the series is probably at the start of Mark of Athena when they run towards each other and fall into each others arms and kiss when they reunite after eight long years, and everyone knows that they were endgame except when Percy had that thing with Rachel, but I was glad when that ended. Anyway, I just re-read the Heroes of Olympus series and I fell in love with all the characters again. 

9. Jasiper: Jason Grace and Piper McLean from The Heroes of Olympus Series (Books)

Ahh, absolutely love these two. Too cute! Okay, I don’t have much to say for them besides that they are completely badass together. I mean, I was really sad for Piper when she realised that her memories pre The Lost Hero were not real. But the whole “look at that comet from the rooftop when it’s just us” would have been too cute it it was real. 

10. Dramione: Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter Series (Books)

Okay, so I read a lot of fan fiction, and this is the one that I fully support no matter what the circumstances. I really really did wish that this could be possible but it’s not, it was never even canon! But yeah, I think that they would make an amazing couple together, and would be so cute, even if it is a very unlikely pair. But still, I do think that love sparks between them still. 

11. Drarry: Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter from the Harry Potter Series (Books)

Oh, my god the amount of fan fiction I read for this is incomparable. I just love this pairing so much I can’t handle myself sometimes. Anyway, maybe in another world this is true and the people are happier there. 

12. Aridante: Aristotle Mendoza and Dante Quintana from Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (Books)

Okay, I don’t know how this ship name makes sense but whatever. I love love love this book so much, and I think these two, in whatever kind of relationship, make so much sense together. If anyone has not read this yet, what are you doing with your life? Anyway, this book is amazing and Benjamin Alire Saenz is an amazing author.

13. Adlock: Irene Adler and Sherlock Holmes from Sherlock (TV)

Okay, it was hard to chose between Johnlock, Sherlolly, and Adlock. But then A Scandal In Belgravia will forever be one of my favourite episodes, and honestly, their relationship just excites me and that message tone in the last episode got me all excited and happy again. Anyway, I wish they were canon but I respect whatever Sherlock is and how he does not want a relationship.

14. Triles: Tristan Milligan and Miles Hollingsworth III from Degrassi: Next Class (TV)

Anyway, I was getting so mad when I could not find a gif that fit the aesthetic of this post, but then I finally did and that’s all that matters. Anyway, I’m so glad that this is cannon and hopefully endgame, but Miles little slip with Lola in Season 3 got me so mad! Like, how could he, his boyfriend was in a coma and he’s cheating on him! That’s totally unacceptable! But then I guess I came to terms with why he did what he did. And I’m glad that Tristan (kinda) forgave him. Yay.

15. Bughead: Betty Copper and Jughead Jones from Riverdale (TV)

Okay, so I haven't read enough fan fiction to say that this is my absolute favourite yet, and since this is a newer ship than most others mentioned on here, it’s kinda hard for me to feel for them what I feel for the others. But I still really like this pairing, it’s kinda unique, and a little different from the normal TV shows, so yeah.

16. Lams: John Laurens and Alexander Hamilton from Hamilton: An American Musical (Theatre)

This is my favourite theatre ship, but somewhere in my heart, I think Jefferson and Hamilton secretly love each other. No, but seriously, I think John and Alex are just the cutest friends, and the fact that their friendship existed so heavily in real life makes me so happy.

Okay, so that was the list but I have a few honourable mentions that did not make it on here and they are:

1) Sherlolly from Sherlock (TV)

2) Hamiliza from Hamilton: An American Musical (Theatre)

3) Snowberry from The Flash (TV)

4) Samaustin from A Cinderella Story (Movies) (I made up that ship name and I  am not very good at it).

So, that was it! And I’m pretty sure I missed some but I hope you guys enjoyed!

[welcometocaritas]

oh wow look an update

Title: The Ghosts of What Happened

Chapter: 6

Characters: Marina Andrieski, Julia Wicker

Pairing: Julia/Marina

Fandom: The Magicians, Hannibal

Format: Multi-Chap

Summary:  

Reynard’s gone. It’s the first thing she notices when they pop back into Marina’s apartment. The next is the body. Marina, sprawled unceremoniously in the center of the carpet, eyes closed, lips parted with blood.

links: A03, FF.Net

A/N: So I’m going to start this off by saying that I’m really, really sorry for how long it’s been since my last update. That’s really sucky of me and I apologize. But I do have a good excuse! Or in my mind a good excuse. Unfortunately, both my physical and mental health have taken a downturn this year and are continuing to get worse so updates still aren’t going to be regular (sorry!) but I’m going to try extra hard to get chapters out. Hospitals and doctor visits also sap a lot of the energy I would normally put towards writing so that’s a pain.

Fair warning, this chapter is extremely rough. I’ve only proofread it one and half times (as opposed to my usual anxiety ridden dozen) but I figured it was probably just best to get it out to you guys instead of keeping you waiting. Hopefully it’s not too disjointed either. I’ve had some problems with thinking coherently and memory these past couple of weeks and I know it’s affected my writing. It’s also been split in half. The second part will probably be up in a few days since I haven’t finished it. I thought that way you’d at least get something instead of waiting for me to finish it so I could post it as one chapter.

I’ve gotta say I’m disappointed with how the writers decided to let Reynard go. Whether or not Julia kills Reynard is entirely her choice. Whatever feels right for her is what's best. If she wants to kill him, she would be justified. If she doesn't want to, she would also be justified in that. But I hate that he is basically escaping unpunished. There is no evidence to show that Persephone will do anything to make him pay appropriately for his crimes or that she will even contain him. She’s had centuries to deal with Reynard. She knew what he was doing and she let it slide. Twice in the last forty years he’s gone on a rampage and yet she stood back and did nothing. She would have continued to do nothing if Julia hadn’t proved that she was about to kill him. That doesn’t sound like someone who’s willing to dispense justice. For all we know, he’s living it up wherever she’s taken him (probably not but we don’t KNOW that) What’s to say he doesn’t return to earth and start up all over again. Maybe not in Julia’s lifetime but somewhere down the line? Reynard needs to be eliminated, not just because of his crimes but because he’s a threat. A huge one. It also felt too much like how in real life rapists get off most of the time with barely a slap on the wrist, if even that. And what, it’s OK to kill Ember and Umber but not Reynard? They may have ruined people’s lives but they’re nowhere near as bad as Reynard. And it could be said that they were mirroring that, trying to be realistic or some such, and show Julia having to cope with what many survivors of rape go through everyday - the knowledge that their rapist is still out there and that there will be no justice for what they did to them. But I don’t think the writers were even considering that. I don’t think they’ve been thinking about the messages they send at all which, in my opinion, is one of the worst things you can do as a writer. What you put out into the world shapes it. There are consequences to what you write. You can do great harm as well as great good and it’s important to keep that in mind. (and of course there’s this post http://welcometocaritas.tumblr.com/post/159979289101/margopluchinsky-feel-free-to-disagree-but)

Paired with the fact that they took away Julia’s shade as punishment for getting an abortion - perhaps not the message they intended but one that came across nonetheless - I remain very disappointed in her storyline this season. They can’t even blame these things on sticking to the books. Reynard was killed in the books (by Kady) and there was no pregnancy or abortion to speak of.

Also, note that alcohol is not actually a good way to combat insomnia. It may help you fall into a deeper sleep and do so quickly but it can cause you to wake up more frequently and to feel less rested than before (this is a very simple overview of the consequences). However not everyone is aware of this and will use it to self medicate anyway. Not to mention, as someone who has insomnia, wakes up frequently and is tired all the time anyway, anything that will help get you to sleep that first time can seem like a miracle and if I drank I’m not sure I would care too much about said ‘consequences’ as long as it meant I wasn’t lying awake forever.

Little piece of trivia: I’ve planning for a while now to make Our Lady Underground Persephone and Reynard’s mother. It was supposed to be a surprise twist but apparently the writers had the same idea so ‘Surprise?’. My version of Reynard and Persephone and their motivations is going to be slightly different, though, as I’ve already constructed the story around that. So hopefully nobody minds that too much.

Anyway, I would just like to thank you all for being so patient with me and I really am sorry about the wait.

. . .

Darkness

noun

the state or quality of being dark

absence or deficiency of light

wickedness or evil

obscurity; concealment

lack of knowledge or enlightenment

lack of sight; blindness.

"Where can I go?

When the shadows are calling

Shadows are calling me

What can I do?

When it's pulling me under

Pulling me underneath . . . "

- Deep End by Ruelle

…

Marina has never been a heavy sleeper, not since those far off nights as child, and so she's awake almost the instant Julia shifts beside her. Clearing the fog from her mind, she is relieved to discover that, unlike the last two nights, a decent amount of space has managed to remain between them. Thank God. Small mercies really can't be appreciated enough.

It also means that Julia's not tossing and turning on top of her.

They're still holding hands, though.

Marina frowns as she feels the hand in hers clench. It's sweaty and hot, only further increasing an already powerful need to let go.

She doesn't.

She doesn't know why she doesn't.

Craning her head, she can just make out Julia's face in the darkness, twisted in discontent. Her lips move in frantic, silent words. Moonlight catches the faint shine on her cheeks.

Marina's face flushes with heat and she clenches her hands before she knows what she's doing - flinches when she again feels the soft skin pressed against her own.

A tear bleeds down the brunette's temple into her hair.

She makes a concentrated effort not to tense up, not to react. But fire licks at her insides, egging her on.

It boils her blood and she wants to lash out, to maim.

She hates him.

And if she ever gets the chance, she'll make sure he knows just how much.

She's not a sadist or particularly keen on torture - especially the kind that involves blood - but she wouldn't hesitate in making an exception for him.

Fire still building, she reaches out her free hand - the damaged one - and hesitantly rests it on Julia's cheek, wiping the wetness away.

The other woman's energy keens under her touch, she can feel the distraught static of it against her fingertips. Oddly enough, it seems to ease somewhat under her administrations, each stroke dampening the violent buzz to a weary hum.

Julia turns her face into her hand, skin too hot as it presses into her palm.

She doesn't want to let go.

She wants to let go more than anything.

Soundless murmurs against her skin, lips brushing with each syllable.

She has to focus to ensure that her rigidity doesn't extent to her fingers, that her nails don't dig into vulnerable flesh. Her heart pounds.

- the monsters are here. The monsters have come to get her. She can sense them hiding in the shadows of her room, watching, waiting. Any moment they will strike and devour her. Now that they 're no longer confined to her nightmares.

"Shh, it's okay, Abby Baby."

But her dad is here. Curled up beside her, arms wrapped around her sobbing frame - a shield. The monsters won 't dare attack while he's here. He'll keep them away.

He always does.

A rough hand soothes the tears from her faces and she buries her head in his chest, hiding from the shadows.

"You're safe. No-one's going to hurt you."

She believes him, even with the terror still thrumming in her blood, sharp and wretched.

She believes him.

There is nowhere safer than in her dad 's arms. Those arms, strong enough to toss her up into the air and catch her without a grunt, again and again until she's crying with laughter. Those arms that can operate a gun and a knife as easily as she does a pencil. What monster would dare touch him?

No, he 'll protect her. He would never let anything hurt her.

He 'll keep the monsters away -

Marina tears her hand away and releases her hold on Julia's - a tad too violently but the brunette doesn't stir.

Not sparing her a glance, she rolls over, curling her body inward, away from the risk of touch, of past, of feeling too much. Squeezing her eyes shut, she wills sleep to return, to push this into the forgotten hallways of memory.

It doesn't.

At three in the morning, she considers swiping a bottle of Irish whiskey from Julia's kitchen to help the process along. But that would only raise the risk of nightmares and she used Ανονείρευτος, the dreamless sleep spell, just last night - hardly worth wasting it on the few measly hours before it's time to get out of bed. So she gives up and retreats to the bathroom to run through her drills again. All of them this time. From the top.

She turns on the light. Not because she needs it - she's long since passed the stage where she needs to watch the sharp, intricate movements of her hands; the patterns are etched into her body, the height of muscle memory - but because the darkness is oppressive. It takes her back, to those nights as a child, shadows closing in-

It takes her back to gasping on the floor, vision fading as the blood pools-

Trapped in the dark, nothing but the illumination of a few meager lights that always, inevitably are swallowed by the shadows. The walls around her, tighter, closer every day. She tries not to feel them. Tries to sleep. When He's not there. But the thump of footsteps above her, creak of floorboards, and murmurs of voices, familiar and otherwise, keep her alert, keep her awake. Maybe one of them will find her. But does she want that? Yes. No. She's safe here (she will never be safe here), He'll protect her (is that what this is?). The people out there want to hurt her, bind her in chains and sink her to the bottom of the river (Witch! Murderer!). But the darkness chokes her, wraps around her just as tightly as those chains, and she-

Head screaming, bursting, a sickly smirk out of the corner of her gaze as she writhes, falls, gives into the black-

Nothing good has ever come of the dark.

"IŞIK!" Light bursts between her hands, stronger than any manmade flashbulb, the kind that would have hurt her eyes if she was still in darkness. She thinks of a basement and a time when she would have given anything for such light, and the energy that buzzes under her skin is familiar, a comfort. The only one she has.

She doesn't leave until Julia knocks on the door five hours later.

Of the two-hundred-and-fifty levels she once achieved to perfection, she only manages fourty-two.

When she steps out the door, there are cracks in the mirror again.

. . .

". . . Darkness is sinking

Darkness is sinking me . . . "

- Deep End by Ruelle

. . .

After she and Julia swap places in the bathroom, she unearths the disgusting remains of her clothes from their shoved place under the bed. She sets fire to them with a click of her fingers - thankfully, that's still one spell she can do without trouble. No denying that there's something cathartic about watching things burn. Maybe there's a closet pyromaniac inside her. Might be entertaining to have them come out more often. First order of business would be blowing up that TV - there's only so much 'Gilmore Girls' she can stand (about a minute and a half).

With Julia in the bathroom, now's her chance . . .

Lost in this train of thought, she forgets about the firealarm which promptly goes off with a piercing shriek the moment the smoke from her clothes reaches the ceiling - well at least it's operational. The problem's quickly solved with a wave of her hand, though not before a disheveled and partially dressed Julia bursts from the bathroom, wide-eyed and hands at the ready.

"Reynard?"

Of course - the wards around the house have that same migraine inducing scream when they've been triggered. Marina feels the slightest slither of guilt twist inside her as watches the other woman look around wildly, searching, equal parts eager and afraid. It's possibly the most animated she's seen her apart from when she stood seconds away from plunging a knife into Reynard and ending his miserable existence for good - if she ever gets her hands on Kady's boytoy . . .

"Fire alarm," she explains, tone blunt, expression unapologetic.

Julia's shoulders sag and it's hard to tell whether she's relieved or disappointed. Maybe both.

After that, they return to their respective corners of the apartment.

Martin - who failed to budge from his spot on the couch all through the disruption - leaps upon this new invention with glee and she and Julia spend the next few hours silencing the hell out of the alarm every time he sets it off.

Marina is never burning anything again. She'll be nursing this headache for days.

It turns out Julia does have some scarves tucked away in that closet of hers. She's surprised she missed them yesterday but supposes it's not entirely out of the realm of possibilities - even she can admit that she wasn't in the best frame of mind to go clothes hunting. She exchanges the turtleneck for a black sweater and a navy blue scarf. It wraps around her neck like a boa constrictor -

hands squeezing, air -

And she rips it off and retrieves the turtleneck again. She's had more than enough of scarves for this lifetime anyway.

When she gets some alone time in the kitchen, she starts collecting the ingredients she'll need, same as yesterday, only to find that there's not enough witch hazel left to make the healing paste. And she's not ready to leave the apartment and get some more. Not yet.

Right now, the wards surrounding them are the only thing protecting her from Reynard. True, it's unlikely that he'll find her if she steps outside them. After all, he probably thinks she's dead and he doesn't seem the type you'd run into at your local supermarket. But a needle of dread still pierces her at the prospect. She can't risk it.

Not since she's reverted to amateur level when it comes to magic. And even when she was at the top of her game, she was no match for him.

It's a truth she has to face as much as she hates it.

She is, for the first time in almost two years, humiliatingly (terrifyingly) weak.

And Reynard . . .

She was held captive by a cannibalistic serial killer for months, ever aware of how any minute shift in circumstance could lead to her being served up for next week's dinner party. There's very little that can scare her these days.

Reynard does.

He has all the power. All of it. And absolutely no qualms when it comes to using it.

He's not the first to try to destroy her. But he does happen to be the one with the most likelihood of succeeding.

Disgusted, she tosses the meager beginnings of her spell into the bin and stalks off. Julia watches her from the couch, gaze burning into her back as she retreats to the bedroom.

Dinner that night is, if possible, even more awkward. Maybe because it's the first time all day that they share more than a minute in the same room - Marina is nothing if not a master in the art of avoidance. Looking at Julia, even now, assaults her with sensations she's done her best to push down since last night - hot, sticky skin pressed against her own, too soft, too much; the race of her pulse as she squeezed the hand in hers; the familiar but foreign tightness in her chest, too tight; her father's hand against her cheek, the coarseness of his sweater against her face -

She clenches the fork in her hand.

Scavenging a plate and disappearing into the bedroom to eat would have been preferable but it would also have been pathetic. Then there's the fact that she has something she needs to discuss with Julia, something she's put off too long already.

- cooking with Martin is its own special circle of hell, one Dante conveniently forgot to mention (not his fault, he was fortunate enough to live in a time period that didn't include the asshole) and the kitchen knife is becoming harder and harder to pass up. It's true that she has a temper and whilst usually she can contain it with her iron control, Martin somehow knows all the right buttons to push (possibly he has a death wish).

He is determined to interrupt her calm wherever possible.

She wonders whether he was born this annoying or if its a curse he acquired with age. She pities his family and friends. Or family anyway. No way did Bubl é have friends.

"Did you not sleep well last night? You are looking a tad wane." The prospect seems to inspire in him an unpleasant mix of curiosity and delight. It's been a while since she's entertained such graphic fantasies of murder but for him she'll make an exception.

"I slept just fine." She pastes a smirk, the kind that used to make first year Brakebills students pee their pants. It's unsurprising but still disappointing that it doesn't have quite the same effect on him."How was your night, though? That couch must be murder."

Her attempt at deflection fails. He shrugs unconcernedly. "I've experienced far worse. It would of course be perfectly reasonable for you to be suffering nightmares after your ordeal with Reynard." He grins, all teeth, all predator.

His hands with the knife is so close to hers. Just a breath away. Her eyes flick to it as she forces the smirk to remain. "That may be true for you but I slept just fine."

He scrutinizes her, entirely too gleeful , entirely unbelieving. A cat, toying with a mouse.

She hates being the fucking mouse.

"I was unaware that peaceful sleep was so . . . loud."

Just a breath away . . .

Fortunately, or unfortunately, Julia chooses that moment to approach them, putting a stop to whatever crime scene was surely about to erupt.

Marina keeps the knife at the edges of her vision, anyway. Just in case -

Just thinking of the conversation she had with Martin yesterday is enough to make her murderous all over again. She's not sure who she wants to kill more. Him or Reynard.

It did, however, raise an important question.

"Did I . . . say anything?" she forces out, fiddling with her knife. A nervous habit she thought long since defeated.

"What do you mean?"

She grits her teeth. "The other night. When I was sleeping."

The second time she was in Port Haven, they had a shortage of beds and stuck her with a roommate. She was able to inform Marina that, because her luck really is that bad, she'd somehow developed the ability to sleep talk. When she asked her what she would say when she did, her roommate was evasive at best.

'Nothing really. Sometimes names. You mention your dad. Mostly you just cry.'

The last part has her stomach churning now and she has to put down her fork and avoid looking at her plate of food so as not to risk any further humiliation. It's fear of what she might have let slip in her unconscious state that has her raising a topic she would give anything to leave dead, though.

Remembering the nightmare she had, she can only imagine the kinds of things she might have said. None of them ease the wave of anxiety, swelling up inside of her. She might have told Julia the bare bones of what happened to her, or rather one of the things that happened to her - because she's lucky enough to have a colorful variety - but that was when she was assured she wouldn't actually remember any of it.

She's not ready for Julia to know her like that. She's not ready for anyone to.

There is a pause that drags on too long in which Julia watches her carefully. Marina can't pick apart what lurks in her gaze but her gut twists with unease. Whatever it is, she doesn't like it. There's something far too knowing there.

But whatever Julia might have heard, she doesn't know a damn thing.

No-one does.

"You uh . . ." Julia pauses, pushes the food around on her plate in thought. There were enough leftovers from her cooking last night to see them through dinner but she notices the other woman has done little more than pick at hers. She'll have to keep an eye on that. It'll do them no good if they finally get their hands on Reynard only for Julia to pass out before delivering the killing blow - however she's going to do that. Not to mention, magic becomes excessively tricky (read: nigh impossible) to wield when you're malnourished.

She can attest to that.

But back to the problem at hand. Ascertaining that Julia remains as oblivious about her life as ever.

She's stalling, that much is obvious. Uncertain on what the best course of action is, what answer would serve Marina best. That doesn't exactly bode well. "You mentioned your dad."

"Oh." Something in Marina shuts down. Her heart lingers on a beat too long, her blood freezes her in place. For a moment, only darkness fills her mind. No thought. No feeling.

Darkness.

The moment ends. "What about him?" She tries to sound nonchalant, unconcerned with the answer. More or less succeeds. Enough practice will do that.

Her heart skips, picks up to an urgent race. How much could sleepy mumbles really have revealed? Enough to trigger the memory of that moment when they were in Julia's mind, when Marina confessed far too much? Is such a thing even possible? She's not looking at her like she knows. Knows all the gory details of her life.

She's seen that look enough to recognize it in an instant.

Julia shrugs, looking up from her plate. "Nothing. Just called out to him, I guess."

The relief is so strong that she doesn't pause to inspect whether the other woman might be lying to her. She can't. "Right. That sounds about right." She thinks about throwing in something about the nightmare having been one of those generic memories of being lost in a shopping mall as a kid, terrified and desperate for her father to find her. But that might be too obvious. She's not the type to overshare and Julia knows that. Telling her the (false) details of her dream would probably encourage more suspicion rather than snuff it out.

Marina turns her attention instead to eating, finishing off the last few mouthfuls of pasta. They settle uneasily in her still twisting stomach.

Julia hesitates. "Are you and your dad close?"

Her mouth thins. She pastes a smile that should pass for halfway convincing. "Hardly. And he died a long time ago, anyway."

Julia trains her gaze back on her plate, stirring with a tad too much focus. "Oh. Yeah. Mine too."

It's a revelation of sorts and Marina offers a weak smile, not sure if she's grateful or uneasy by Julia's willingness to share this information with her. Then again, her dad's probably not the big elephant in the room that hers always seems to be. Their relationship probably wasn't quite that colorful.

Probably died from something mundane like cancer. Maybe a car accident.

Tragic but average.

She can't deny her interest. She has a particular thirst for unearthing people's vulnerabilities, turning them around in her head, inspecting for ways they can be used to her advantage. Weak points.

It's habit to do that again now and she has to struggle to put on the brakes and halt the process. Morality is somewhat elusive to her these days but there's something uneasy in her chest that tells her it wouldn't be right. At least, not for the time being. Not after the other night.

What Julia did for her.

Even through the anger and shame at being seen, there's a trickle of gratitude for her. For what she did. For not not bringing it up, even now when Marina herself has broached the subject. She doesn't have it in her to thank her. To shine a light on what happened, or to lay herself bare in that way ever again.

But she can resist the urge to delve into her weaknesses and carve weapons from what she finds there to use against her.

She can do that.

At least for now.

. . .

"The spoken word converts individual knowledge into mutual knowledge, and there is no way back once you've gone over that cliff. Saying nothing was more amendable, and over time I'd come to see that it was usually your best course of action." ― Karen Joy Fowler, We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves

. . .

So it's been almost a week since returning from Fillory, and she's no closer to figuring out a way to destroy Reynard - has actually gotten further away from that particular destination - or figuring out what's going on with Marina. Granted, the last is little more than a side project to keep her mind off how everything seems to be going-has gone to shit. It's not working very well.

Maybe because she's exhausted all of her information. There's nothing new to go on. All she has is a vague feeling of knowing something that she doesn't and the distorted murmurs caused by a nightmare.

There was a moment, during dinner, when Marina broached the subject with her, giving her the perfect opportunity to fish for clues. But she didn't. Quite the opposite, actually. She went so far as to deny knowledge of the little information she did have. To reassure Marina.

Because she saw it. The fear in her eyes. Skillfully hidden but by this point she likes to think she knows her well enough to detect those kind of irregularities in her demeanor. Fear at being seen, being known. Of whatever she wants hidden seeing the light.

And all the questions disappeared from her then. All the curiosity and thirst for distraction. None of it was important.

All that mattered in that moment was eliminating the fear in her eyes. She never wanted to see it there again.

(knew she would)

It's a relief to know that she cares. For a minute there, she began to doubt that she still could. That when Reynard hollowed her out, he did so completely, stealing away with her humanity on top of everything else.

But she still loves Quentin - the feeling is dulled, easily ignored, and she doesn't experience the guilt she knows she should for betraying him, instead she feels anger at his interference in the trap they set for Reynard, that he might have ruined the one chance she had to take him down, but he had warned her, and she had warned him right back, and it's all just a jumbled mess of confusion that most days doesn't even register. But she knows she loves him.

And she knows she cares whether Marina is hurt. Whether she's scared.

And it's a relief.

"I have something for you."

The voice startles her and she flinches, eyes almost wild, and glances around for the source. But it's just Marina, coming into her room, a handful of papers in hand. And she tries to relax, really she tries. But her body is rigid and her heart is too loud, too fast and the headache that's only just started to abate resurges with a vengeance.

Marina pauses in the doorway, expression inscrutable. Julia knows she sees, though.

She feels lightheaded. And it's only then she realizes that she's holding her breath.

She exhales, too harsh, too quick, and feels a rush of dizziness for the effort. But her muscle relax slightly as she pulls fresh oxygen into her lungs and the bite of her nails into her skin - she notices her hands have clenched into fists - distracts her from the pounding in her chest.

After a minute, she breathes a little easier, sees a little clearer.

Her head still hurts like a mother fucker.

"What time is it?" Because disorientation is starting to set in and she can't remember how long she's been sitting in here, on her bed, staring at the wall. Only that it's darker than she remembers and the scrape of her throat speaks of dehydration.

"Almost nine," Marina answers. She doesn't comment on Julia's freak reaction or her current confusion and for that she's grateful.

Nine. She's been in here for three hours. There's a book beside her on European folklore. It's from the days of FTB when they were looking for anything they could dig up on Our Lady Underground. She hoped it might offer some insight on Reynard for them now but there's not much to find.

French.

Fox.

Trickster.

Benevolent.

So basically just a bunch of crap.

She came in here to read it. But she couldn't concentrate. And then her thoughts got ahold of her. The rest is a blur.

She sighs and rubs her eyes, suddenly feeling her exhaustion. "Did you say you had something?"

Her heart picks up again but this time it's not fear that makes her sit at attention. It's hope. Or what she can manage of it. Maybe she's done it. Maybe she's found what Julia can't. An answer. A-

The other woman nods and comes further into the room, taking a seat on the bed. There's a near meter of space between them. She's not sure if it's for her benefit or Marina's. Possibly both. Either way, it's welcome.

"I wrote down the basic steps of that dreamless sleep spell," she says, drawing her attention to the papers in her hand. "Figured you might want it."

Her shock overcomes the familiar pangs of disappointment. She's surprised at the gesture. Though maybe she shouldn't be. "Thanks."

Marina scowls. "Please, like I want to go through the effort of casting that spell on you myself all the time. And this is hardly the first spell I've ever given you - which reminds me, we need to work on expanding your repertoire if you're serious about taking on Reynard."

That's true and she remembers days and nights hunched over binders and papers in the Safe House, Marina seated beside her, talking her through the process, correcting her errors and giving rare but useful advice.

Things were so much easier then.

It might even be nice, to return to some semblance of that. There are so many spells out there and it would be a lie to say she doesn't still hunger to get her hands on all of them. Marina, at least, has the knowledge to bring her just a little closer to that dream.

She doesn't comment on the Reynard part. Marina knows she's serious. They both are. There are some things that don't need to be voiced to be understood.

"Still," she insists. "I appreciate it."

And something falters in her gaze, just for a second, maybe even half, but Julia catches it. Even so, she's not sure what it is that she sees.

Last night, when Marina was in the shower, she unearthed her scarves from the chest she kept them in and scattered them in conspicuous - but not overly so - places in her closet. What she really wants to do is heal the other woman but knows the offer will only make Marina retreat further. Or lash out.

But Marina is still wearing that same damn turtleneck - the one she wore for her Brakebills exam and hasn't touched since - and she wonders if whether she should have been more obvious after all. It's not something she can ask about, though. Just another question to lock away inside her and ponder for answers.

She doesn't do well with unanswered questions.

That old thirst rears its head as she looks the pages over after Marina relinquishes them. She soaks in the feeling, the fire. How hard it once was to get her hands on even the barest traces of magic. It still feels a little like a drug every time she grasps some but it no longer controls her - that craving.

Well, no more than her caffeine addiction does.

Marina's writing is in block letters so as to be more legible - Julia has complained about her confusing scribble in the past - but it's the diagrams that hold her attention. Drawing after drawing of hand positions, surprisingly detailed and accurately, as well as sketches of what she should picture in her mind as she performs the spells.

They're good. Far exceeding anything Julia can create with a pen.

"Just . . ." Marina shifts. "Use it sparingly, okay? Or you might find yourself with some unpleasant side-effects."

"What kind of side-effects?" To be honest, Julia doesn't even care. Not really. If it'll get rid of the nightmares, if she can stop reliving that moment again and again, she doesn't care if it makes all her hair fall out.

Marina shrugs. "Oh, you know: paranoia, panic attacks, hallucinations. The usual. I knew one guy who started eating shit because he thought he was a dung beetle . . ."

Julia grimaces.

All of a sudden she's reluctant to take the spell but not so reluctant that she won't. She'd eat shit if it meant a break from the nightmares but she'd rather not have to.

"How often is too often?"

Marina considers the question for a moment. "It varies. I'd start with one night on, three nights off. See how that goes."

Sounds reasonable enough. Even a temporary reprieve is better than none.

"Thanks," she says and means it.

This wasn't something that she asked for. Marina didn't have to give it to her. Especially after the incident with Reynard. But she did this for her anyway. Even gone the extra mile and, instead of just showing Julia the spell, writing it out for her so that she can learn it in her own time. The pile of pages isn't thin - it would have taken a while to complete.

Thing about Marina is, for all her obvious protestations to the contrary, she does care.

- "Jesus, Julia, I wanna help." -

It's just a little harder to spot than with most. But when you see it, you see it.

And you can't close your eyes to it.

You're stuck with the knowledge, whether you want it or not.

(she's not sure she does)

It's a care, a kindness she's not sure she deserves after everything that's happened. As much as she wants to escape the nightmares a small part of her wonders if she has the right to. Maybe this is her punishment to bear. For summoning Reynard. For all the lives that he's destroyed. For betraying Quentin.

(he betrayed you too, he said he'd help you catch Reynard and instead he ruined what might have been your only chance to stop him)

Marina turns uncomfortable at the gratitude. "Yeah, well, it's more for my sake than yours. You keep kicking me in your sleep."

She doesn't know if that's true. James always said she slept like the dead, even when she was dreaming. But that could have changed. Nothing else has stayed the same, so why should that?

"Oh. Sorry." She feels something that might be guilt, or shame. It's hard to tell, weak as it is. It's an uncomfortable emotion whatever it is. But deserved - on top of feeding her to Reynard, she's also cutting into her sleep time.

"It's fine." Marina's response is terse and, if anything, she looks even more uncomfortable with the apology. Unbelievable. Before Reynard, she'd never even glimpsed a flicker of unease in the other woman. Now it seems to be happening far too much. It uneases her. Things have changed too much already. "I'm going to take a shower."

It's the regular excuse slash exit strategy that both of them have been employing, to various degrees of success. Sometimes you just need to run.

Julia nods, and lets her go.

. . .

"Unexpected kindness is the most powerful, least costly, and most underrated agent of human change. Kindness that catches us by surprise brings out the best in our natures."

- Bob Kerrey

Işık (Turkish for 'light, sun’) is a spell used to create light in the books. It’s the hedge witch version of similar one taught at Brakebills and is the spell for Level 1 that hedges need to be able to demonstrate in order to be let into safe houses. The way they use levels is a lot more ambiguous on the show and I’ve decided to incorporate a lot more from the books when it comes to that and the world of hedge magicians. Mostly because I like the descriptions of it in the book and how it seems to be an organised, worldwide network operating right under the noses of ‘real magicians’ who for the most part don’t even know it exists. On the show, they seem more like crack houses that those at Brakebills are fully aware of (as evidenced by Elliot in the third episode). So I’m going for a mix of these two.

I can’t recall if I’ve mentioned this before but just in case Port Haven is the Psychiatric Facility they stuck Abigail in after her family was killed. I’ve got some theories about this - and how I’m not convinced it was entirely legal or was, at the very least, an abuse of power - but I’ll get into that another time.

There is also a reference here to the time Hannibal kept Abigail in his basement. I don’t think he kept her in there 24/7 - we know he took her out at least once to manipulate her into slashing the throat of her father’s corpse - but we do know from Word of God that she was kept in there. Seeing as, apparently, Beverly Katz saw her down there before Hannibal killed her. It was also dark enough down there that Beverly needed a torch to see at the time.

Note that alcohol is not actually a good way to combat insomnia. It may help you fall into a deeper sleep and do so quickly but it can cause you to wake up more frequently and to feel less rested than before (this is a very simple overview of the consequences). However not everyone is aware of this and will use it to self medicate anyway. Not to mention, as someone who has insomnia, wakes up frequently and is tired all the time anyway, anything that will help get you to sleep that first time can seem like a miracle and if I drank I’m not sure I would care too much about said ‘consequences’ as long as it meant I wasn’t lying awake forever.

Also, someone asked if Quentin would be coming into this and I can tell them that eventually he will because I think he’s a very important part of Julia’s life and that he will need to be involved in some way for Julia to fully heal. However, it won’t be for a long while. Right now, the story is very much just about Marina and Julia. Although, Kady will be coming into it to at some point, probably around part 3 (to give you some idea when that might be, we are currently about halfway through part 1 or just over that). Because I love Kady and I love her relationship with Julia and I need her in this story.

Also, if you’re interested, check out my Marina/Julia vids where I attempt to make people cry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQ_sTg5Y6Xg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yl1MnbVCBtQ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-kNwZCE-3Y (a julia vid) I made a really bad intro trailer for this fic https://youtu.be/JrZNJh8crYI Say hi to me and we can cry about Marina and Julia together! Twitter: https://twitter.com/BonnieLextra

[restoringbalance8-blog]

Imperfection and a journey

Originally I was not going to post any information on here that was untrue: I do not want to reproduce someone else’s blog on health giving out information like ‘coconut oil is bad for you!’ because A) That’s not true and B) Even though it makes sense in their article, the facts are shallow and therefore extremely misleading, and C) 99% of the time the author (lol @ Stuff.co.nz ) have no good sources.

Which is why I was waiting till I knew for certain that hormone imbalance and balancing is a thing, by trialling out different methods to balance my hormones and looking at the results. But, all good things take time, and I’m super impatient so instead, I’m going to write about the things I’m doing to help balance my hormones and the reasons behind taking certain actions (according to my readings). In future posts, I will write about the results of certain actions (e.g. certain foods, herbs, exercise...) and hopefully, it will become helpful to anyone who reads this!

So, here goes nothing.

Hormone imbalance is usually the reason behind ‘why am I doing this, this and this and I still feel tired/overweight/hungry/fatigued/emotional/numb?!?!?’

Hormonal imbalance is becoming more and more frequent in the population as modern lifestyles subject us to a lot of toxins (think pollution, inorganic foods, additives, preservatives... basically anything un-natural). The population as a whole is seeing a rise in oestrogen dominance and excessive cortisol production. Oestrogen is primarily a female-associated hormone- an increased level of oestrogen will give people a more feminine appearance or outlook- e.g. boobs (or moobs), more emotionally sensitive, stored fat around hips and lower abdomen, etc. Cortisol is a stress hormone which is being excessively produced with the modern stresses of life- increased workload and what not. 

However, men are becoming more oestrogen dominant, giving them moobs or lower sperm counts. Women are having increased levels of oestrogen on top of their already oestrogen dominant nature, which is a concern since an imbalance of hormones is associated with fertility issues, unhealthy weight gain or inability to lose excess weight, water retention/bloating excessive mood swings, especially around ovulation/period time. Excruciating period pain a cause of hormonal imbalance- this is abnormal (well it is VERY common, but it’s not the way things should be... if that makes sense). Pretty much, an unhealthy increase of oestrogen is making the fun characteristics of the female not so fun by swinging them to an extreme. 

Personally, I am concerned with excessive oestrogen dominance and general hormonal imbalance with my inability to lose excess weight on my lower abdomen. I eat healthy like a crazy person, and I work out like an even crazier person- so I don’t really know why I don’t have that highly coveted 6-pack yet. It is most likely that my competitive and high-performance personality causes a lot of stress in my body and therefore, excessive hormone production. The female body is like an intricate and delicate clock- more so than a male’s (a male’s hormones is a lot less complex since they don’t have to make babies). There are a lot of things that contribute to hormone imbalance or balance, as seen in the picture below. I will list some lifestyle choices that I am undertaking to help (hopefully) balance my hormones!

1. Going off the pill- even though the pill didn’t seem to affect my weight, mood, or anything really, I felt a bit unnatural taking a small pill every morning that prevented my period- it scared me that something that small is so powerful in its effects, and even though having no period is great- if I’m gonna do this whole hormonal balance thing, the first step is probably getting off synthetic hormones

2. Less exposure to plastic water bottles and plastic- reusing your plastic water bottle is really bad as the plastic leeches toxins which the body recognises as ‘xenooestrogen’ (oestrogen outside the body) and releases aggressive oestrogen in the body.

3. No dairy or cheaply raised meats - I didn’t have to change this one as I have been dairy free and vegetarian for 4 years, but cows and factory-raised chickens are fed synthetic hormones in order to reproduce faster, which is then reproduced in their animal products. If you do eat meat, eggs or dairy- organic and free farmed is definitely the way to go. 

4. No soy- Ok I cheat on this one quite a bit because there is nothing like a good soy latte.. but I’m slowly switching to almond milk and coconut milk which I am growing to like very much. They say that if you’re skinny or old you can probably have soy, but I am neither (yes I’m slim but by no means skinny). This is because soy contains oestrogen. Fermented soy like Tamari sauce and Tempeh is given the OK. 

5. Increasing veggies, fat and protein intake. Cruciferous veggies like cabbage, bok choy, broccoli sprouts, cauliflower and kale are very good for detoxifying oestrogen. I am loving sauerkraut... it tastes so good on top of lentils and since sauerkraut is fermented cabbage, it is not only PROBIOTIC (good for gut health and digestion) but cruciferous (good for helping reduce antioxidants and linked to lowering cancer risk, hormone imbalance etc. etc.) In sum, eat your veggies people!

6. No parabens in skin lotions and using more natural products in general. I’m good at this one because in Year 10 I read something about how parabens are linked to breast cancer and I was obsessive even when I was 14 years old so I cut parabens out of my life 4eva. Tailor Skin Care has been my natural skincare saviour recently as I have only just discovered that moisturiser is essential in preventing gnarly pimples/redness, and Tailor ingredients make my skin all glowy and nice. Highly recommend!!

7. Eating heaps of vitamins! Vitamin A, C and Bs are just so good for you! Berries, Carrots, seaweed (I like CeresOrganics roasted seaweed- also very good for iodine supplementation- a  hormone essential for metabolism), oranges and all the citrus fruits.... eat da rainbow pretty much

8. Omega 3s and healthy fats- chia seeds, salmon if you eat it, brazil nuts and raw nuts in general (I am loving MotherEarth $4 DeluxeNatural nuts atm- best price I can find for raw nuts and also such a filling snack, helping me not buy Midnight Espresso cake lmao), coconut products---- looooving coconut oil for frying!!, extra virgin olive oil, AVOCADO: a little bit unattainable with $5 avocados as the norm in this Wellington winter :(  but I eat them when I can.

9. CHOCOLATE!!!! Dark of course- gotta avoid sugar as much as possible. The higher percentage, the better. I am loving Pana chocolate (expenny as $7 for a small bar but SO yum and so so so good for you). Add cacao to your smoothies for a perfect antioxidant boost. Cacao also helps reduce oestrogen and cortisol receptor binding- whatever that means- which pretty much means less weight gain and less stressy moments so it's a win-win.

10. Less hard physical exercise. Not to be confused with LESS exercise!! This one is hard for me- as I’m a go hard or go home kinda person. The good ol’ brain, apparently, cannot tell the difference between physical stress and emotional stress, and in women stress (whether it be emotional or physical) leads to an increase in aggressive oestrogen and cortisone (the stress hormone) production, leading to weight gain- since “in the old days” this response was necessary for survival. So I’m changing up my exercise routine from doing 6x hard workouts per week, into 2x hard workouts per week (like boxing or BodyPump). Every day in between I am trying to do something easy like BodyBalance, Yoga, Zumba, a small 20-30 minute HIIT Gym workout, or a 30 min run. So far, I have not put on any more weight from working out less hard, but I’m really intrigued to see how this goes.  I am trying to go to Yoga more as taking an hour to relax works wonders on balancing hormones, hence lessening weight gain. It’s no wonder you never ever see a fat yoga instructor!

11. Eating clean in general. Eating clean makes me feel so good. Even though cake tastes amazing, it makes my stomach miserable and my mental clarity is significantly worsened, so eating clean is really necessary for me to feel on peak performance!

12. Taking deep breaths, especially at work or uni. Helps reduce cortisone production. 

13. Less coffee. The last two weeks have been super hectic and I have been having one espresso a day- and my first day (today) without coffee has not been fun. Coffee is a stimulant and stimulates hormone production including cortisol, etc.

14. Sleep... I usually have a good sleeping pattern but recently I’ve been out of whack. Sleep is essential for producing hormones, which is critical for balancing hormones and ensuring that excess production of oestrogen and cortisol is prevented. Remember we are not trying to eliminate certain hormones- but balance them so that our bodies work efficiently and better. 

15. Herbs and natural remedies. I am still researching this, but I’ve heard that basil, siberian ginseng and liquorice tea are very good in helping to balance hormones, including blood sugar levels and insulin. So I will probably buy these in the next couple of days.

It is all so complex, but I’m getting used to it! 

just eat your veggies 

-K

[survivormyanmar-blog]

Ep. #12 - “Get Over Yourselves and Play The Damn Game” - Ashley

Immunity was posted and it was Back and Forth which involves cutting your fellow tribe mates in order to advance.  Sam and Ting Ting were both targeted early in the challenge and Ashley went on to win Immunity.  After Immunity, Ashley approached her alliance of Amanda and Tommy to vote off Sam with the help of Leah.  Little did she know that Tommy was not actually with them and was working both sides and went to Ting Ting and Sam to vote off Leah.  The three of them were able to convince Linus to work with them to get majority and took out Leah in a 4-3 vote as they thought Leah, Amanda, and Ashley were a tight threesome.  With that, Linus was the only fan remaining.

do these people know nothing about subtlety? at least I won't go on that immunity run like jay said.

So Jay is finally freaking gone. About time. I even got Linus in on the vote somehow. So that is pretty sweet. I am going to try and look into that relationship more because I definitely think something is there. I still have my idol. I was really contemplating using it but at the last second I decided to have some hope for once in my goddamn life. And look where we ended up! I am still alive!

Well I won immunity! This is a really nice feeling. I am guaranteed a spot in the f6. AND I STILL HAVE AN IDOL. I am screaming rn. Like on cloud nine. This shit is great. Hopefully next tribal isn't as freaking frustrating, which of course it shouldn't be; Jay is gone ;) Maybe targeting Sam? Maybe even Ting Ting. Cuz after looking at her moves with our last challenge, she definitely targeted Amanda and I, even before we were ahead of the rest of them, sooo I don't exactly know her business but I sure as hell am gunna get all up in it.  

YAY IT WORKED! JAY IS OUT! So now I just really have to rely on Ting Ting and Sam voting with me from here on out. I also have a pretty unique relationship with Linus and an alliance chat with Amanda/Ashley from the Christian vote. So this round I would ideally want out Leah because she's kind of a goat and if she doesn't go soon everyone will want to go to the end with her. Also out of everyone left in the game I feel she is the least likely to talk game with me.  Lastly, long term people will want to go to the end with Leah and nobody will be willing to take her out in a few tribals from now so they'll continuously not target her and that can be fatal to my game. Also Amanda is a much bigger target to keep in the game and keeping Amanda in will keep Linus more likely to vote with Ting Ting, Sam, and I which will work to our benefit.   My plan for this vote is to talk with Ting Ting and Sam and keep us all together but by doing that we have to keep the secret bond between Sam/I's bond to Ting Ting a secret from everyone else so none of us go and have a majority on the numbers come Final 5. So Ting Ting and I put in a plan that we can get Linus to vote with us by me approaching Linus and myself saying we need to break up the fearsome3some of Ashley/Amanda/Leah. I think this plan has a good chance of working out tbh. Leah going this tribal would be fantastic. If this plan works out Final 6 is Ashley/Amanda/Ting Ting/Sam/Linus/Myself. I would ideally want Ashley out next because she has won 3 individual immunities, has better ties with people than Amanda (especially Linus which is the most concerning), and her smart strategic plays, and social bonds. If we are able to pull of a blindside on her next it'd be great. We'd need myself, Ting Ting, Linus, or Sam to win immunity though. If that plan works out Final 5 is Amanda/Ting Ting/Sam/Linus/Myself would be left and ideally we want Linus to still be against Amanda. We'd need myself, Sam, or Ting Ting to win immunity. Then I think this would be the perfect time to get Amanda to vote for Linus and Linus to vote for Amanda, and cause a 3-2 vote with Linus getting the majority of the votes because he's less of a jury threat than Amanda and way better at comps and I think he can totally rock that Final Immunity if he can get there, if it's a Final 3. If that plan works out the ideal Final 4 is Amanda/Ting Ting/Sam/Myself. This way if we look at the jury Amanda has Steffen, Christian, Leah, Ashley, and possibly Jay which I think Ting Ting and Sam will be able to see by that point and consider Amanda a major jury threat and would win in any Final 3 scenario with us 3 remaining which would give us the reason to give her the boot. We'd just need for Sam, Ting Ting, or Myself to win immunity and cause a 3-1 vote with Amanda leaving which I think is possible. Final 3 I'd ideally want to be sitting next to Sam and Ting Ting whether that it's Final Tribal or the last tribal before a Final 2 because I feel I've made good connections with both of them and been so close to both through out the entire game. If it's a Final Tribal I feel I have an okay shot at winning next to them. Honestly, just getting to the end will make me relieved. For now I just need to continue on my bonds and plans and make sure people don't go after me, turn up the comp skill, and make my way to the end.  

Okay so I am immune and we have tribal in 4 hours AND NO ONE HAS SAID A THING. At the point I am just throwing out Sam's name cuz I think it is about time for him to go. I know I probably couldn't beat him in the end and therefore I kinda want him gone. I am taking a leadership role in this vote and I think I will hate myself in the future for it but shit needs to get done. It is like no one has the balls to say anything so they don't hurt anyone's feelings. Like come on. Suck my dick, get over yourselves and play the damn game. Also omg I think I am starting to like Leah because she is fucking insane like me and we are essentially the same human.

Trevor: *Sends confessionals link to tribe chat* Haven't gotten any!!! Me: Bish I literally just sent one.

*lowkey don't care about this tribal cause I know the 7th place chat is lit and I would be content going there lmfao*

Ashley and Tommy like to laugh at me for sleeping too much when they wanna strategize. ITS NOT MY FAULT THEY WAKE UP AT LIKE 7AM I'm basically nocturnal I cant help it. At this point they should call me Sleeping Beauty and call it a day

Okay y'all this Sam vote has been too easy, I am feeling a little sketched but I am immune soooooo. I just don't want someone close to me to leave. I don't quite trust Ting Ting 100% because she targeted Amanda and I in the last challenge, and then Amanda mostly. So I am a little confused as to why. Linus might be close to Sam so we might have just risked Sam finding out. From what people are saying, it seems like the vote would be a 6-1. But is Fucking Sam plays an idol whoever he chooses will be screwed. So I am thinking someone might have to throw out a vote on someone like Ting Ting or Leah just to be safe. But I just have to find someone willing.

okay so ting ting told me that ashley is pushing for my name which doesn't surprise me. she has immunity so she's probably trying to call some big shots. i'm working on linus to try to get him, myself, tommy, and ting ting to vote for leah. if all works and there's no idols, i'll be in the final 6 for the first time ever! but anything can happen, so i'm going to keep doing all the work i can.

"No one mourns the Wicked! No one cries they won't return. No one lays a lily on their grave." -Wicked (2003 musical) So Jay is gone :( . I'm kind of torn on how to feel about this. Sure she was shady as hell to most people in the game and a huge flipper, but like, she was always honest with me about where her head was at. Now on one hand my closest ally is out the door, but on the other I think multiple groups are seeing me as a possible extra number for them. In the Challenge Ashley teamed up with me  (She made deals with other people too, but at least I think that means Im not at the top of her hitlist) and she also somewhat tried to revive the "The only goddamn trustworthy people left chat". On the other side I have Tommy who I talked to for over an hour with yesterday in a skype call who wants me to side with him. Right now my play is Im trying to solidify a final 2 deal with Ting possibly. I know shes lied to some people, so Im hoping the trust isn't misplaced on my part, but I think I can play it up like with Jay gone I'm just going to become her extra vote. As it stands I think this round Im siding with Tommy and Sam, and hopefully Ting votes with us. Ashley's saying she hasnt heard anything about the vote at all, which is usually a red flag, but with her you never know since she's said that to me every round until like 2 hours before the vote :/ . I really do feel like there could be a f3 deal with her, Amanda and Leah so I want to get to strike while the iron is hot. The biggest problem with going against them though is that it seems like Tommy, Sam and Ting would most want to target Leah. Getting Leah out is kind of a mixed bag for my game. In one sense, Im pretty sure shes been going for me for a while, and if I make the end I can say that I was the fan who did what none of the others could. Thats also the problem with it though. If I become the last fan standing (Get it, like the famous saying last man standing but with an f instead of an m, Im so funny) then maybe others don't want to take me to the end so much since it possibly increases my shot at the end. On top of that, Leah is clearly been the least influential player so even with her wanting me out there hasn't been a vote cast against me since the Steffen boot.

Alright first, alliances and such: Ok it just makes me laugh so much that no one knows how close Tommy and I are in this game. Like omg. We literally swap info daily about the going ons. Like he's close with Ashley and Amanda and I got Linus it's great. Also Linus is nice and he's in a good strategic position for the remainder of the game. Like if he swaps, then boom there goes a vote. Sam is cool. He's really good at comps so he'll probably get immunity for like the rest of the game if he makes it through this vote. Leah is chill, I definitely think she's more focused on BB which is cool. Ashley and Amanda like don't trust me which i'm like fine whatever. Next, this vote: So basically Tommy, Sam, Linus (hopefully), and I are going for Leah this round because there's that Ashley, Amanda, Leah like final three alliance going on that needs to break up before final 6. Like strategically having three people in the game that are really close is bad because that's basically a majority right there going into f6. Ashley thinks that it's gonna be a 6-1 on Sam and he's leaving but... ;). Anyways, my only goal is to get to f5 to figure out what that legacy advantage is (shoutout to Steffen). Hopefully i can make it there. 2 more tribals. Also the cave can go to hell along with the hosts because they are evil people.

ashley actually thinks imma vote for amanda i cannot wait to SHAKE her geez if this all works it's gonna be amazeballs.

my heart my heart my heart that was so awesome. so awesome. i just i omg that was amazing amazing. ashley left that chat so fast!

yikes ashley like you were pushing for me to leave why am i supposed to tell you things

[agilenano]

Agilenano - News: Hi guys, Brian here

I’m writing this post because we found out yesterday that Emily is allergic to pollen. Like, suuuuper allergic. Like, looking at her you’d think she’d watched “The Notebook” and the opening sequence from “Up” back to back. Her poor little lash-less eyes are so red and watery that she can barely see. Also she’s been so congested at night that she can’t sleep. So last night she took something to knock herself out, and she’s still out as I write this, which is 7:39 am on Friday. That’s crazy for Emily, she’s usually up at 5:30 writing posts for the blog. So now I’m up early writing for the blog. I’ll keep you posted on when she wakes up… Hopefully, she goes for a while, she needs it. Let’s start with a video so you can get the full scale and get Emily right before the pollen fully attacked (just wait for the ad to play). OK. I’m back. The garage. This has a special significance for me because there’s something innate in men to have a squared away garage. I think it’s because the garage is the one room in the house (or out of the house I guess) where function matters more than form. It’s kind of the only place where I can win some design battles. In a garage, you’re not trying to figure out which pouf would offset the muted tones of a chaise lounge, you’re trying to figure out how many rakes can we fit on that wall. And that’s my kind of design. The problem is, I’m lacking motivation to do things right now, which I think is a symptom of the whole quarantine thing. After home-schooling the kids in the morning, I find myself acting like an old British man, mumbling incoherently and stumbling around the house in a daze until cocktail hour. But Emily, pre-allergies, is ever-motivated and kept threatened to do the garage herself until I acquiesced. So off to the garage we went! Our garage here at the Mountain House is pretty small and has not been organized in about a year. Plus it was the storage site for the reader event we threw and photoshoots we did last year, so there’s a lot that needs to be sorted and donated or driven back to LA. Here’s Emily showing off the space before her face got attacked by pollen. As you can see, we never spent a lot of time thinking about the organization of this space. Emily and I are both kind of “I’ll just put this here and deal with it later” people, which isn’t a good combination when it comes to garages. We’ve got a shelving unit up, but it’s not being used very well. And we’ve got lots of random stuff near the shelves, but we just didn’t make it to the final step of putting them on the shelves, which is hilarious. Plus we have a bunch of stuff we need to find new homes for (not in our home) like the rugs, and some chairs, and some lampshades. We have a LOT of random lampshades. Anyone else have that problem? BTW, it’s 8:01 am, and still no Emily. It’s getting to that point where I might go check to see if she’s still breathing. So after Emily got the old British drunk to focus on the garage, we figured out some specific things that we needed: storage for our tools and yard stuff, space for our bikes, an area that we can rotate for seasonal things like beach stuff in summer and sled stuff in winter, a redesign of the shelving, and of course space enough to park my 6 seat “Ferrari” golf cart, which I will still defend as one of the best craigslist finds any human has ever made. I mean the best, right?? Ok moving along… It should be noted that there originally wasn’t access to the garage from inside the house so we put in that little stairway (it has to be that big for code, but we could certainly reduce its footprint). We love the access and we use it all the time but it does mean that we will never be able to put an actual car in here. But honestly, it’s so small that we don’t know if we would have been able to fit our big cars anyway. So yes, we need to be able to put the Ferrari in there, but that’s about it. Here are more pics of the whole original mess: We have a lot of Christmas stuff in those bins, which takes up a lot of space. We need to find a new spot for it though because it’s silly that something we only use for two months is dictating so much space for the whole year. First Round of Organization After everything was removed and cleaned it was much easier to see what might be possible in there. We gave some stuff to some neighbors up here, we drove some stuff back to LA, we relocated some stuff, and we learned that we had a lot of broken things that had to go in the trash. Emily just came out of the bedroom, it’s 8:11 am. I don’t think she’s slept in that late since college. She says she’s feeling better today. So here are some decisions we still need to make: We need shelving, but could certainly make it nicer than that. And while we love that staircase do we want to make it nicer than that? Paint the janky railing? Like I said, we could have made it just three steps down without the railing but not legally, so we put in this big guy. We aren’t terribly motivated to demo it out and likely will just work with it for now. The big black fridge came out of the kitchen during the remodel, and we were using it for secondary food storage, until someone accidentally unplugged it before we left for a few months. When we came back and made the mistake of cracking the door open, we were slapped with the most gag-inducing putrid smell and discovered a moldy sludge that had covered all the surfaces. We closed it back up and there it sits like the arc of the covenant, waiting to melt someone else’s face off. We tried disinfecting it, but it may be a lost cause. We need to make a call on this one. Like how much do we REALLY need a garage fridge?? Emily doesn’t think we need a garage fridge, because apparently she’s ok with pulling out 12 pounds of food to access the thing she wants in the back of our kitchen fridge. She says we’re doing fine without it now, but I’m less optimistic. Maybe things will change in a bit, but right now we are doing huge grocery shops to lessen the frequency of shopping, which means that every time we open the fridge it’s like that cliché scene in every comedy movie where the guy opens the closet full of stuff and everything falls on top of him, capped by a late bowling ball to the head. That’s our fridge, but it’s a jar of bread and butter pickles that rolls out last. I also think a garage fridge is a perfect pace for beverages, which take up a bunch of room. And our kids aren’t old enough yet to try to steal adult beverages out of the garage fridge, so we’re good right? I mean, once they turn 13, I’ll put a lock on it, like my friend Alan’s dad should have. But for now, we’re good. What do you guys think? Fridge or no fridge? I got a big-brimmed hat at the hardware store and I’m now super into yard work. I bagged 17 contractor bags of oak leaves last week and still have more to do, so I obviously need some space for my tools. We have this little nook that is a covered space for storage if need be (and another entrance into the garage), we may put the bikes in here if we can figure out how to get them in there and still have space to get into the garage from the side yard. It took hours for us to clean and it wasn’t pretty. It was full of so much extra tile, leaves, random paint cans, our friend’s kayaks we just inherited, and empty gross Pepsi bottles left over from the construction crew (from two years ago). We feel very accomplished that it looks like this now: We actually found some unused space up in the attic that we stuffed all the Christmas and winter stuff in, which was super helpful. The attic entrance is across from the kids’ play area, and the other storage space we have is behind a hidden door that goes to the guts of the house. What’s Now? We still have to figure out things like the shelving and the fridge. We also are going to find a way to hang the bikes because they take up an abnormal amount of space. Also, the ceilings are nice and high, so we’re trying to figure out if there’s a way to hang some stuff up there for storage. The Solutions We need some tool storage but I don’t know if we really need anything fancy. It seems like at least considering something like this (below) would be nice and may make me feel more manly. Like whenever I have to replace a battery in a kid’s toy I can make a big deal out of folding out my workbench and feel like a handy guy. image source I’m also worried that I would leave all my tools on the table instead of hanging them up in their right place. I think I may need a big box to throw them in. I know, I’m lazy, but it’s folly to think that I’m going to change. This person’s garage is dreamy. design and photo by simply organized I feel like this is good inspo for storage. The only problem for us is that the space between the wall and that big staircase is pretty narrow so I don’t think we could hang bikes and pull the golf cart in…. a sentence I never imagined that I would ever write. Sorry, I know these are all champagne “problems” but hey, we’re writing what we’re actually going through up here. But I really like how there’s two rows of storage happening, the shelf for bins and underneath for hanging things that get used often. These are some good broom and rake storage options that could work: 1. LETMY Broom Holder Wall Mounted | 2. Corner Double Tool Rack | 3. Koova Wall Mount Garden and Garage Tool Organizer | 4. Deluxe Tool Tower | 5. Goowin Broom Holder | 6. Stalwart Rolling Garden We thought about getting a small outdoor shed to house things like rakes and such, but I think it makes more sense to keep everything contained to the garage. Plus it’s been impossible to find a shed that has gotten Emily’s approval. image source We got into mountain biking up here, and Charlie is finally up and running on a peddle bike, so we definitely will be using them a lot. Right now, I think mine is laying in a pile of leaves on one side of the house while Emily’s and Charlie’s are sprawled out around a tree on the other side. That can’t keep happening, our neighbors must think that we’ve been raptured mid-bike-ride. So we will try one of these. Have you guys used any that you recommend? 1. TORACK Bike Rack Garage | 2. 6-Bike Storage Rack 2.0 | 3. Elfa Utility Vertical Bike Hook | 4. Copenhagen Wall Mount Bike Rack | 5. Delta Cycle Leonardo Da Vinci Single Bike Storage| 6. Bike Wall Mount And while we’ve found a way to clear out most of our bins, I’m sure we’ll accumulate more, so we’ll need a good vertical storage system. I’d love to say I could build one, but I’d also love to say that I can do a standing jump over a car or that I can run faster than a gazelle. I’m just not that handy y’all. design and photo by simply organized | design and photo by modern builds Here are some solutions we are considering… 1. Platinum Elfa Utility Basement Storage | 2. Bror | 3. Matias the Heavy Duty Storage System Ceiling Mounted Rack | 4. Shelf Steel Freestanding Storage Cabinet | 5. Chrome-Finished Tower Shelving | 6. LEXIMOUNTS WR24B Storage Rack Lord knows we go through a lot of storage here in Emily Hendersonland, and we’ve used lots of types of bins. Here are my tips – they can’t be hard plastic because they break, they have to have a good seal, preferably not the clip handle because those break, they should have good grips for when you move them a hundred times, and they should be stackable. 1. Tough Storage Bin | 2. Brute Tote Storage Container | 3. Heavy Duty 54 Gal. Storage Bin So that’s where we are with the garage so far. We’ve got a long way to go, but it’s looking much better in there, plus we’ve kept it pretty clean since the organizing day. We’ll see how long that lasts. But at least for now, the garage is no longer a place to just dump stuff and go, it’s clean and organized and we can see the potential. Or at least I can see the potential, Emily may not be able to see much until spring is over. Stupid pollen. The post We Tackled Our Non-Functional Garage and These Are Our Ideas To Maximize It appeared first on Emily Henderson. #MountainHouse #Design101 #Design101

Agilenano - News from Agilenano from shopsnetwork (4 sites) http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Agilenano-News/~3/ir30HvtxTW0/hi-guys-brian-here

[arplis]

Arplis - News: We Tackled Our Non-Functional Garage and These Are Our Ideas To Maximize It

Hi guys, Brian here. I’m writing this post because we found out yesterday that Emily is allergic to pollen. Like, suuuuper allergic. Like, looking at her you’d think she’d watched “The Notebook” and the opening sequence from “Up” back to back. Her poor little lash-less eyes are so red and watery that she can barely see. Also she’s been so congested at night that she can’t sleep. So last night she took something to knock herself out, and she’s still out as I write this, which is 7:39 am on Friday. That’s crazy for Emily, she’s usually up at 5:30 writing posts for the blog. So now I’m up early writing for the blog. I’ll keep you posted on when she wakes up… Hopefully, she goes for a while, she needs it.

Let’s start with a video so you can get the full scale and get Emily right before the pollen fully attacked (just wait for the ad to play).

OK. I’m back. The garage. This has a special significance for me because there’s something innate in men to have a squared away garage. I think it’s because the garage is the one room in the house (or out of the house I guess) where function matters more than form. It’s kind of the only place where I can win some design battles. In a garage, you’re not trying to figure out which pouf would offset the muted tones of a chaise lounge, you’re trying to figure out how many rakes can we fit on that wall. And that’s my kind of design.

The problem is, I’m lacking motivation to do things right now, which I think is a symptom of the whole quarantine thing. After home-schooling the kids in the morning, I find myself acting like an old British man, mumbling incoherently and stumbling around the house in a daze until cocktail hour.

But Emily, pre-allergies, is ever-motivated and kept threatened to do the garage herself until I acquiesced. So off to the garage we went!

Our garage here at the Mountain House is pretty small and has not been organized in about a year. Plus it was the storage site for the reader event we threw and photoshoots we did last year, so there’s a lot that needs to be sorted and donated or driven back to LA.

Here’s Emily showing off the space before her face got attacked by pollen.

As you can see, we never spent a lot of time thinking about the organization of this space. Emily and I are both kind of “I’ll just put this here and deal with it later” people, which isn’t a good combination when it comes to garages. We’ve got a shelving unit up, but it’s not being used very well. And we’ve got lots of random stuff near the shelves, but we just didn’t make it to the final step of putting them on the shelves, which is hilarious. Plus we have a bunch of stuff we need to find new homes for (not in our home) like the rugs, and some chairs, and some lampshades. We have a LOT of random lampshades. Anyone else have that problem?

BTW, it’s 8:01 am, and still no Emily. It’s getting to that point where I might go check to see if she’s still breathing.

So after Emily got the old British drunk to focus on the garage, we figured out some specific things that we needed: storage for our tools and yard stuff, space for our bikes, an area that we can rotate for seasonal things like beach stuff in summer and sled stuff in winter, a redesign of the shelving, and of course space enough to park my 6 seat “Ferrari” golf cart, which I will still defend as one of the best craigslist finds any human has ever made.

I mean the best, right?? Ok moving along…

It should be noted that there originally wasn’t access to the garage from inside the house so we put in that little stairway (it has to be that big for code, but we could certainly reduce its footprint). We love the access and we use it all the time but it does mean that we will never be able to put an actual car in here. But honestly, it’s so small that we don’t know if we would have been able to fit our big cars anyway. So yes, we need to be able to put the Ferrari in there, but that’s about it.

Here are more pics of the whole original mess:

We have a lot of Christmas stuff in those bins, which takes up a lot of space. We need to find a new spot for it though because it’s silly that something we only use for two months is dictating so much space for the whole year.

First Round of Organization

After everything was removed and cleaned it was much easier to see what might be possible in there. We gave some stuff to some neighbors up here, we drove some stuff back to LA, we relocated some stuff, and we learned that we had a lot of broken things that had to go in the trash.

Emily just came out of the bedroom, it’s 8:11 am. I don’t think she’s slept in that late since college. She says she��s feeling better today.

So here are some decisions we still need to make:

We need shelving, but could certainly make it nicer than that. And while we love that staircase do we want to make it nicer than that? Paint the janky railing? Like I said, we could have made it just three steps down without the railing but not legally, so we put in this big guy. We aren’t terribly motivated to demo it out and likely will just work with it for now.

The big black fridge came out of the kitchen during the remodel, and we were using it for secondary food storage, until someone accidentally unplugged it before we left for a few months. When we came back and made the mistake of cracking the door open, we were slapped with the most gag-inducing putrid smell and discovered a moldy sludge that had covered all the surfaces. We closed it back up and there it sits like the arc of the covenant, waiting to melt someone else’s face off. We tried disinfecting it, but it may be a lost cause. We need to make a call on this one. Like how much do we REALLY need a garage fridge??

Emily doesn’t think we need a garage fridge, because apparently she’s ok with pulling out 12 pounds of food to access the thing she wants in the back of our kitchen fridge. She says we’re doing fine without it now, but I’m less optimistic. Maybe things will change in a bit, but right now we are doing huge grocery shops to lessen the frequency of shopping, which means that every time we open the fridge it’s like that cliché scene in every comedy movie where the guy opens the closet full of stuff and everything falls on top of him, capped by a late bowling ball to the head. That’s our fridge, but it’s a jar of bread and butter pickles that rolls out last.

I also think a garage fridge is a perfect pace for beverages, which take up a bunch of room. And our kids aren’t old enough yet to try to steal adult beverages out of the garage fridge, so we’re good right? I mean, once they turn 13, I’ll put a lock on it, like my friend Alan’s dad should have. But for now, we’re good. What do you guys think? Fridge or no fridge?

I got a big-brimmed hat at the hardware store and I’m now super into yard work. I bagged 17 contractor bags of oak leaves last week and still have more to do, so I obviously need some space for my tools.

We have this little nook that is a covered space for storage if need be (and another entrance into the garage), we may put the bikes in here if we can figure out how to get them in there and still have space to get into the garage from the side yard. It took hours for us to clean and it wasn’t pretty. It was full of so much extra tile, leaves, random paint cans, our friend’s kayaks we just inherited, and empty gross Pepsi bottles left over from the construction crew (from two years ago). We feel very accomplished that it looks like this now:

We actually found some unused space up in the attic that we stuffed all the Christmas and winter stuff in, which was super helpful. The attic entrance is across from the kids’ play area, and the other storage space we have is behind a hidden door that goes to the guts of the house.

What’s Now?

We still have to figure out things like the shelving and the fridge. We also are going to find a way to hang the bikes because they take up an abnormal amount of space. Also, the ceilings are nice and high, so we’re trying to figure out if there’s a way to hang some stuff up there for storage.

The Solutions

We need some tool storage but I don’t know if we really need anything fancy. It seems like at least considering something like this (below) would be nice and may make me feel more manly. Like whenever I have to replace a battery in a kid’s toy I can make a big deal out of folding out my workbench and feel like a handy guy.

image source

I’m also worried that I would leave all my tools on the table instead of hanging them up in their right place. I think I may need a big box to throw them in. I know, I’m lazy, but it’s folly to think that I’m going to change.

This person’s garage is dreamy.

design and photo by simply organized

I feel like this is good inspo for storage. The only problem for us is that the space between the wall and that big staircase is pretty narrow so I don’t think we could hang bikes and pull the golf cart in…. a sentence I never imagined that I would ever write. Sorry, I know these are all champagne “problems” but hey, we’re writing what we’re actually going through up here.

But I really like how there’s two rows of storage happening, the shelf for bins and underneath for hanging things that get used often. These are some good broom and rake storage options that could work:

1. LETMY Broom Holder Wall Mounted | 2. Corner Double Tool Rack | 3. Koova Wall Mount Garden and Garage Tool Organizer | 4. Deluxe Tool Tower | 5. Goowin Broom Holder | 6. Stalwart Rolling Garden

We thought about getting a small outdoor shed to house things like rakes and such, but I think it makes more sense to keep everything contained to the garage. Plus it’s been impossible to find a shed that has gotten Emily’s approval.

image source

We got into mountain biking up here, and Charlie is finally up and running on a peddle bike, so we definitely will be using them a lot. Right now, I think mine is laying in a pile of leaves on one side of the house while Emily’s and Charlie’s are sprawled out around a tree on the other side. That can’t keep happening, our neighbors must think that we’ve been raptured mid-bike-ride. So we will try one of these. Have you guys used any that you recommend?

1. TORACK Bike Rack Garage | 2. 6-Bike Storage Rack 2.0 | 3. Elfa Utility Vertical Bike Hook | 4. Copenhagen Wall Mount Bike Rack | 5. Delta Cycle Leonardo Da Vinci Single Bike Storage| 6. Bike Wall Mount

And while we’ve found a way to clear out most of our bins, I’m sure we’ll accumulate more, so we’ll need a good vertical storage system. I’d love to say I could build one, but I’d also love to say that I can do a standing jump over a car or that I can run faster than a gazelle. I’m just not that handy y’all.

design and photo by simply organized | design and photo by modern builds

Here are some solutions we are considering…

1. Platinum Elfa Utility Basement Storage | 2. Bror | 3. Matias the Heavy Duty Storage System Ceiling Mounted Rack | 4. Shelf Steel Freestanding Storage Cabinet | 5. Chrome-Finished Tower Shelving | 6. LEXIMOUNTS WR24B Storage Rack

Lord knows we go through a lot of storage here in Emily Hendersonland, and we’ve used lots of types of bins. Here are my tips – they can’t be hard plastic because they break, they have to have a good seal, preferably not the clip handle because those break, they should have good grips for when you move them a hundred times, and they should be stackable.

1. Tough Storage Bin | 2. Brute Tote Storage Container | 3. Heavy Duty 54 Gal. Storage Bin

So that’s where we are with the garage so far. We’ve got a long way to go, but it’s looking much better in there, plus we’ve kept it pretty clean since the organizing day. We’ll see how long that lasts. But at least for now, the garage is no longer a place to just dump stuff and go, it’s clean and organized and we can see the potential. Or at least I can see the potential, Emily may not be able to see much until spring is over. Stupid pollen.

The post We Tackled Our Non-Functional Garage and These Are Our Ideas To Maximize It appeared first on Emily Henderson.

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Agilenano - News: We Tackled Our Non-Functional Garage and These Are Our Ideas To Maximize It

Hi guys, Brian here. I’m writing this post because we found out yesterday that Emily is allergic to pollen. Like, suuuuper allergic. Like, looking at her you’d think she’d watched “The Notebook” and the opening sequence from “Up” back to back. Her poor little lash-less eyes are so red and watery that she can barely see. Also she’s been so congested at night that she can’t sleep. So last night she took something to knock herself out, and she’s still out as I write this, which is 7:39 am on Friday. That’s crazy for Emily, she’s usually up at 5:30 writing posts for the blog. So now I’m up early writing for the blog. I’ll keep you posted on when she wakes up… Hopefully, she goes for a while, she needs it.

Let’s start with a video so you can get the full scale and get Emily right before the pollen fully attacked (just wait for the ad to play).

OK. I’m back. The garage. This has a special significance for me because there’s something innate in men to have a squared away garage. I think it’s because the garage is the one room in the house (or out of the house I guess) where function matters more than form. It’s kind of the only place where I can win some design battles. In a garage, you’re not trying to figure out which pouf would offset the muted tones of a chaise lounge, you’re trying to figure out how many rakes can we fit on that wall. And that’s my kind of design.

The problem is, I’m lacking motivation to do things right now, which I think is a symptom of the whole quarantine thing. After home-schooling the kids in the morning, I find myself acting like an old British man, mumbling incoherently and stumbling around the house in a daze until cocktail hour.

But Emily, pre-allergies, is ever-motivated and kept threatened to do the garage herself until I acquiesced. So off to the garage we went!

Our garage here at the Mountain House is pretty small and has not been organized in about a year. Plus it was the storage site for the reader event we threw and photoshoots we did last year, so there’s a lot that needs to be sorted and donated or driven back to LA.

Here’s Emily showing off the space before her face got attacked by pollen.

As you can see, we never spent a lot of time thinking about the organization of this space. Emily and I are both kind of “I’ll just put this here and deal with it later” people, which isn’t a good combination when it comes to garages. We’ve got a shelving unit up, but it’s not being used very well. And we’ve got lots of random stuff near the shelves, but we just didn’t make it to the final step of putting them on the shelves, which is hilarious. Plus we have a bunch of stuff we need to find new homes for (not in our home) like the rugs, and some chairs, and some lampshades. We have a LOT of random lampshades. Anyone else have that problem?

BTW, it’s 8:01 am, and still no Emily. It’s getting to that point where I might go check to see if she’s still breathing.

So after Emily got the old British drunk to focus on the garage, we figured out some specific things that we needed: storage for our tools and yard stuff, space for our bikes, an area that we can rotate for seasonal things like beach stuff in summer and sled stuff in winter, a redesign of the shelving, and of course space enough to park my 6 seat “Ferrari” golf cart, which I will still defend as one of the best craigslist finds any human has ever made.

I mean the best, right?? Ok moving along…

It should be noted that there originally wasn’t access to the garage from inside the house so we put in that little stairway (it has to be that big for code, but we could certainly reduce its footprint). We love the access and we use it all the time but it does mean that we will never be able to put an actual car in here. But honestly, it’s so small that we don’t know if we would have been able to fit our big cars anyway. So yes, we need to be able to put the Ferrari in there, but that’s about it.

Here are more pics of the whole original mess:

We have a lot of Christmas stuff in those bins, which takes up a lot of space. We need to find a new spot for it though because it’s silly that something we only use for two months is dictating so much space for the whole year.

First Round of Organization

After everything was removed and cleaned it was much easier to see what might be possible in there. We gave some stuff to some neighbors up here, we drove some stuff back to LA, we relocated some stuff, and we learned that we had a lot of broken things that had to go in the trash.

Emily just came out of the bedroom, it’s 8:11 am. I don’t think she’s slept in that late since college. She says she’s feeling better today.

So here are some decisions we still need to make:

We need shelving, but could certainly make it nicer than that. And while we love that staircase do we want to make it nicer than that? Paint the janky railing? Like I said, we could have made it just three steps down without the railing but not legally, so we put in this big guy. We aren’t terribly motivated to demo it out and likely will just work with it for now.

The big black fridge came out of the kitchen during the remodel, and we were using it for secondary food storage, until someone accidentally unplugged it before we left for a few months. When we came back and made the mistake of cracking the door open, we were slapped with the most gag-inducing putrid smell and discovered a moldy sludge that had covered all the surfaces. We closed it back up and there it sits like the arc of the covenant, waiting to melt someone else’s face off. We tried disinfecting it, but it may be a lost cause. We need to make a call on this one. Like how much do we REALLY need a garage fridge??

Emily doesn’t think we need a garage fridge, because apparently she’s ok with pulling out 12 pounds of food to access the thing she wants in the back of our kitchen fridge. She says we’re doing fine without it now, but I’m less optimistic. Maybe things will change in a bit, but right now we are doing huge grocery shops to lessen the frequency of shopping, which means that every time we open the fridge it’s like that cliché scene in every comedy movie where the guy opens the closet full of stuff and everything falls on top of him, capped by a late bowling ball to the head. That’s our fridge, but it’s a jar of bread and butter pickles that rolls out last.

I also think a garage fridge is a perfect pace for beverages, which take up a bunch of room. And our kids aren’t old enough yet to try to steal adult beverages out of the garage fridge, so we’re good right? I mean, once they turn 13, I’ll put a lock on it, like my friend Alan’s dad should have. But for now, we’re good. What do you guys think? Fridge or no fridge?

I got a big-brimmed hat at the hardware store and I’m now super into yard work. I bagged 17 contractor bags of oak leaves last week and still have more to do, so I obviously need some space for my tools.

We have this little nook that is a covered space for storage if need be (and another entrance into the garage), we may put the bikes in here if we can figure out how to get them in there and still have space to get into the garage from the side yard. It took hours for us to clean and it wasn’t pretty. It was full of so much extra tile, leaves, random paint cans, our friend’s kayaks we just inherited, and empty gross Pepsi bottles left over from the construction crew (from two years ago). We feel very accomplished that it looks like this now:

We actually found some unused space up in the attic that we stuffed all the Christmas and winter stuff in, which was super helpful. The attic entrance is across from the kids’ play area, and the other storage space we have is behind a hidden door that goes to the guts of the house.

What’s Now?

We still have to figure out things like the shelving and the fridge. We also are going to find a way to hang the bikes because they take up an abnormal amount of space. Also, the ceilings are nice and high, so we’re trying to figure out if there’s a way to hang some stuff up there for storage.

The Solutions

We need some tool storage but I don’t know if we really need anything fancy. It seems like at least considering something like this (below) would be nice and may make me feel more manly. Like whenever I have to replace a battery in a kid’s toy I can make a big deal out of folding out my workbench and feel like a handy guy.

image source

I’m also worried that I would leave all my tools on the table instead of hanging them up in their right place. I think I may need a big box to throw them in. I know, I’m lazy, but it’s folly to think that I’m going to change.

This person’s garage is dreamy.

design and photo by simply organized

I feel like this is good inspo for storage. The only problem for us is that the space between the wall and that big staircase is pretty narrow so I don’t think we could hang bikes and pull the golf cart in…. a sentence I never imagined that I would ever write. Sorry, I know these are all champagne “problems” but hey, we’re writing what we’re actually going through up here.

But I really like how there’s two rows of storage happening, the shelf for bins and underneath for hanging things that get used often. These are some good broom and rake storage options that could work:

1. LETMY Broom Holder Wall Mounted | 2. Corner Double Tool Rack | 3. Koova Wall Mount Garden and Garage Tool Organizer | 4. Deluxe Tool Tower | 5. Goowin Broom Holder | 6. Stalwart Rolling Garden

We thought about getting a small outdoor shed to house things like rakes and such, but I think it makes more sense to keep everything contained to the garage. Plus it’s been impossible to find a shed that has gotten Emily’s approval.

image source

We got into mountain biking up here, and Charlie is finally up and running on a peddle bike, so we definitely will be using them a lot. Right now, I think mine is laying in a pile of leaves on one side of the house while Emily’s and Charlie’s are sprawled out around a tree on the other side. That can’t keep happening, our neighbors must think that we’ve been raptured mid-bike-ride. So we will try one of these. Have you guys used any that you recommend?

1. TORACK Bike Rack Garage | 2. 6-Bike Storage Rack 2.0 | 3. Elfa Utility Vertical Bike Hook | 4. Copenhagen Wall Mount Bike Rack | 5. Delta Cycle Leonardo Da Vinci Single Bike Storage| 6. Bike Wall Mount

And while we’ve found a way to clear out most of our bins, I’m sure we’ll accumulate more, so we’ll need a good vertical storage system. I’d love to say I could build one, but I’d also love to say that I can do a standing jump over a car or that I can run faster than a gazelle. I’m just not that handy y’all.

design and photo by simply organized | design and photo by modern builds

Here are some solutions we are considering…

1. Platinum Elfa Utility Basement Storage | 2. Bror | 3. Matias the Heavy Duty Storage System Ceiling Mounted Rack | 4. Shelf Steel Freestanding Storage Cabinet | 5. Chrome-Finished Tower Shelving | 6. LEXIMOUNTS WR24B Storage Rack

Lord knows we go through a lot of storage here in Emily Hendersonland, and we’ve used lots of types of bins. Here are my tips – they can’t be hard plastic because they break, they have to have a good seal, preferably not the clip handle because those break, they should have good grips for when you move them a hundred times, and they should be stackable.

1. Tough Storage Bin | 2. Brute Tote Storage Container | 3. Heavy Duty 54 Gal. Storage Bin

So that’s where we are with the garage so far. We’ve got a long way to go, but it’s looking much better in there, plus we’ve kept it pretty clean since the organizing day. We’ll see how long that lasts. But at least for now, the garage is no longer a place to just dump stuff and go, it’s clean and organized and we can see the potential. Or at least I can see the potential, Emily may not be able to see much until spring is over. Stupid pollen.

The post We Tackled Our Non-Functional Garage and These Are Our Ideas To Maximize It appeared first on Emily Henderson.

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