#hopefully this is encouraging to people who also struggle

[clementines-writing-corner]

the creative process & writing sh*t

Hello friends!

This week, as I get back into the swing of working on my original story and the challenge I’ve set for myself with tackling the seemingly insurmountable task of worldbuilding, I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’m going to approach crafting my fantasy world. I’ve been kicking around the interwebs for a bit for some guidance (how-to videos and blogs, inspirational content, etc.) and I’ve not had much luck. I’ve been looking into a few courses (mainly https://rmarcher.com/resource-library/the-worldbuilding-toolbox/) and resources (mainly https://milanote.com/guide/worldbuilding & https://inkarnate.com/) but I’m not sure about any of them. 

(^ me this week)

I’ve said before that I am not Tolkien (though I wish). I have never built a world with the extent of detail and specificity and concreteness to which I need to build the one in which my story takes place. I have no idea what I’m doing. 

I think, however, that's part of the creative process, though it pains me to say. I like when outcomes are known and things are in order (though life rarely ever truly is). I’m gonna admit something to y’all….  I am a total perfectionist. I like things the way that I like things, and I don't like not being able to make things the way I want them to be. 

But part of writing, as I am slowly coming to learn and accept, is creating complete sh*t. And if you create enough sh*t then every so often you’ll stumble across something that's gold. All you need to do is have the courage to dive in and the willingness to get messy.

Therefore, what I really need to do to start building this world for my story, is to just dive in and mess around. That scares the crap out of me because I know some of the stuff (maybe even most of the stuff) that I’m going to make will be terrible. But with all the terrible stuff, there is going to be some stuff that is awesome. And, I don’t know about you, but for me a lot of terrible stuff and a little bit of awesome stuff is better than no stuff at all. 

As I’ve been cutting down on procrastination, I’ve been trying to make intentional space to be creative. So, as I continue to make time to do my other creative hobbies like crocheting and graphic design, I am going to make time to write as well. I’m going to throw myself head first into this whole worldbuilding thing and just try stuff out. I may use worldbuilding resources or aids, but for the most part I’m just going to write. I want to  make the commitment to do this thing, but also give myself space to let my creativity grow. 

So, I will keep you all updated as I go along. Hopefully I'll have enough good stuff to share (because I don’t want to bog down my feed with crap), but we shall see. That’s all from me today, I guess.

And remember, dot your j’s and cross your t’s (even when your writing sh*t ᕱ__<)!

~Clementine J. Quincey 🪷

[charmedreincarnation]

Success story navigation

I've been getting so many asks with questions that feel like they can't be answered any differently than things I've already covered. It's as if I'm receiving the same queries over and over, and I understand the frustration that comes with feeling unheard. I've also received numerous messages from people who are really at the end of their journey, feeling lost and defeated. Whether it's because you've seen no progress despite your efforts, you've been at it for years without tangible results, or you've tried everything with no success, or perhaps your life has even gotten worse with the law or other obstacles – I get it, I truly do.

I want to address the overwhelming sense of despair that comes when you've exhausted every option for so many years and still see no light at the end of the tunnel. To those of you who feel like you're standing at a billions crossroads with nowhere to turn, to those who feel like you’ve put in years to this journey, to those who feel like you’re life has gotten worse even with the law, know that you're not alone. It's incredibly difficult when you've invested so much of yourself only to feel stuck or worse.

That's why I'm going to link success stories that I believe align with the mindset you likely have. By following their journey and tweaking it to suit your circumstances, hopefully, you can find the success they did.

There's nothing more I can say that I haven't already answered or said, but I hope these stories can provide a new perspective and the encouragement you need. May they guide you in finding the path that leads to the success you seek. Remember, it’s often at our lowest moments that we find the strength to rise again.

The ultimate success story with everything you need, mindset, tips, LOA, and Edward Art

For people who struggle with intrusive thoughts and mindset and want to use that to their advantage

My personal favorite success story

Simple Success story for those who prefer to affirm and persist

Very easy pragmatic success story (maba shortcut)

Age and years it took to succeed doesn’t matter success story

You can shift with desperation and bad circumstances success story

Yes you only need your imagination success story

Everything is possible stop asking

It's easy to feel alone, but remember that whatever you're going through, someone else has also faced similar challenges. We all start in different places; some may have an easier beginning than others, but we share the same equal potential to achieve greatness. It's important to acknowledge that while our journeys might differ, our ability to overcome obstacles and reach our potential is universal. Embrace the shared human experience and take comfort in knowing that you have the power within you to rise above and become the best version of yourself. Realizing this is just as important as becoming the richest hottest bitch with the mastery of the void and shifting okay. You’re not alone, you’re very powerful, and you CAN do it. Everyone has the potential to do it, you’ll have hurdles but where in life do you not!? You can struggle here with those journey or just struggle with the life you don’t want like everyone else. Nothing in life is easy, choose the hard path to get where you want so you can be happy forever, I promise it’s worth it.

This covers all the asks I’ve gotten. I really hope the struggle comes to an end for you guys. I know how hard all of you work, and I am truly happy and grateful to see how much you all love yourselves to put yourselves through an amount that sometimes seems pointless and fake, but it will be worth it. That’s just something you have to allow yourself to understand.

[determinate-negation]

IMPORTANT update on mohammed's campaign!

mohammed almanasra @save-mohamed-family has unfortunately been having issues with fundraising. his first campaign was shut down by the bank and GFM without him getting any of the money he raised. recently he had some concerns about the person hosting his second campaign because he has only been receiving a small percentage of the funds raised and the host wouldn’t send receipts. he thought it'd be best if we started a new campaign with me hosting it and shut down the old campaign. i'll be organizing this now so hopefully there will be no problems and i can be transparent with him about the finances. also in a stronger currency (USD)

mohammed has been verified by @el-shab-hussein and is on the Vetted Gaza Fundraiser List #192 with this updated link now

you may have seen my other posts about his campaign, mohammed and i talk frequently and its so awful what he's been through in this genocide:

mohammed lost his mother, father, and four sisters who were killed in a bombing, and is now living in tents with his remaining family members, his wife and three young children. he was seriously injured in his foot and it may need to be amputated, but he told me that hes doesn't care if he loses his foot he just doesn't want to lose his family. his wife has uterine cancer but hasn't been able to get treatment recently because the genocidal israeli army has destroyed health centers. his children are suffering from infectious diseases spreading throughout gaza, and the little medical treatment available is very expensive. here’s a photo of his kids who instead of having a normal childhood have to struggle to survive.

they've been displaced recently again, because of the israeli army changing the location of so called 'humanitarian zones,' and every displacement is expensive and exhausting, with no guarantee that where they are forced to move to is actually safe. right now mohammed told me he doesn't have good enough internet to use tumblr unless he goes to a internet hot spot which are often more dangerous because the idf targets people there. he knows it's risky but fundraising online is the only way he can support his family right now.

mohammed has made posts on his blog about their situation and i do encourage you to read his own words, because i am merely summarizing conditions that are far worse than any of us from outside can really comprehend

the pain of losing so many family members, your home, your job, your city, and everything you have is already unimaginable. please dont let him lose any more of his family. donate to this campaign and if you cant, share it with someone who can.

especially if you have a degree of disposable income i implore you to think about what you can reasonably give. it could be relatively small adjustment for you but make a significant difference for someone else. thank you very much everyone who participated already for starting this out with some donations.

$205 raised of $50,000 USD

[gi4hao]

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ ˎˊ- comforting their s/o that’s scared of talking too much

ot13 x gn!reader — no warnings i think

veeeery self-indulgent post i’m ngl :) if you relate to the prompt then hopefully this will provide you with some comfort! <3

— seungcheol

he will insist on knowing who put such nonsense in your mind, because how dare they make you feel self-conscious about one of the things he loves the most about you? he absolutely adores that you passionately ramble about the most random things; it always lifts his mood even after a long and exhausting day. and that’s what he’s here to remind you: that you should never be ashamed of talking if it’s something that makes you happy.

— jeonghan

any kind of negative thoughts on your part becomes his #1 priority so he takes time to discuss it with you and give you enough reassurance. he reminds you that talking a lot is not a bad thing at all, and that you’re also an amazing listener, which he’s very grateful for. “people are just jealous because you’re interesting enough not to run out of conversation!” he tells you, wiping your tears away. it truly breaks his heart to see you so self-conscious so he’ll definitely be extra careful regarding this topic in the future <3

— joshua

no matter where that insecurity comes from, he comforts you with immense patience and lots of cuddles, reminding you of how much your words matter. on a more personal note, he absolutely adores the sound of your voice, it’s one of his favorite things about you. “i’d fall asleep to your voice every night if i could,” he tells you, looking into your teary eyes with a smile, and you just know he’s being 100% honest, “and you should never ever feel bad about wanting to share things with the people you love.”

— jun

it really pains him to hear that’s how you feel because he can only imagine how long you’ve been thinking about it before even telling him. but jun is here to tell you that you always make people feel comfortable, which is something he finds absolutely wonderful about you. he knows it can be hard to overthink about your social skills so he will always make sure to encourage you to speak your mind (whether it’s through a gentle squeeze of the hand or a smile from across the room). and he also showers you with kisses because he knows it’s one of the best remedies for overthinking :]

— hoshi

what? you? talking too much? oh he’s not gonna let that slide. he proceeds to go off on a tangent about your countless qualities (some that aren’t even related to the topic, he just gets carried away), because he will not let you struggle alone with your insecurities, that’s for sure. as often, he wishes he could lend you his eyes to make you understand how perfect you are to him. “and so what if you talk a lot? i do too! it’s who i am, it’s who you are and that’s why we’re a match made in heaven.”

— wonwoo

it feels weird for him to hear that you’re self-conscious about something he really admires you for. according to him, it’s the ease with which you talk that made your first dates not feel awkward. he loves how good you are with words of affirmation, and he also insists on how it inspires him to be more vocal about his own thoughts and feelings. “i don’t think you realize how entertaining you are. but i sure realize how lucky i am to have you,” he tells you in a more lighthearted tone, pressing a kiss against your temple.

— woozi

he insists on the fact that he’s one of the people that spends the most time with you, so you can truly believe him when he tells you that it’s not true. “that’s just because you love me,” you tell him, comfortably snuggled up against his side. “it is,” he replies, “but that goes for everyone around you; the people who love you will accept you for who you are. and if they don’t… screw them”. because woozi may be an absolute sweetheart but he has very low tolerance for the people who mess with his partner’s head.

— dokyeom

first and foremost, he offers to hug the sadness away, which kind of works because he’s a professional when it comes to comfort hugs. he knows it’s normal to have insecurities but he hates seeing you so self-conscious, so he’ll definitely try his best to cheer you up. also, words cannot describe how much he loves talking with you, so he’d really hate it if these bad thoughts ended up changing your personality. most of the time he’s the bubbly one, but he also likes to be fueled by his very own sunshine from time to time.

— mingyu

as a professional yapper, he understands where that insecurity might be coming from, which means he knows exactly how to comfort you. he’s here to remind you of all the times you’ve been a great listener to either him or your friends, and the great pieces of advice that followed. mingyu thinks your inputs are always important, no matter the conversation, and he’s so freaking happy to be sharing his life with someone that can keep up with his own pace! as long as he’s here, you know you’ll always have someone to listen to your every word.

— minghao

he’s scared he might have accidentally made you feel that way while teasing you (lovingly ofc), so he apologizes profusely until you tell him that he has nothing to do with it. “you enjoy sharing your perspective on things and that’s beautiful,” he reassures you, “and you know me, i’d tell you if you were too overbearing… but you’re not. so don’t worry your pretty head, ok?”. and it’s moments like these that truly make you feel grateful for minghao’s wise and comforting words, always carefully chosen to make your worries disappear in a second.

— seungkwan

kind of like cheol, he wants names. because - and he’s saying that with all due respect - they should know they’re just stupid people spreading stupid lies. seungkwan knows you by heart, he knows you’re a selfless person that’s always here to help their loved ones, and he thinks you’re not giving yourself enough credit for that! “you’re absolutely perfect in every way, and i thi- stop. i can see you’re about to argue but i’m not letting you win this one. no way.”

— vernon

he has a really sensitive approach to this issue, knowing how hard it is when you get in your own head. hugs and cuddles are definitely a part of him comforting you, but he also makes you promise something (and you can see from the look in his eyes that he’s very serious). “if you ever start overthinking after any kind of social interaction, private or public, with or without me, please come and talk to me. i’ll try my best to help you get rid of these thoughts, alright?”. because at the end of the day, he wants to be someone you can be fully transparent with, just like he is with you.

— dino

according to him, you shouldn’t even be thinking about how much you talk in a day. instead, he worries that you might be surrounding yourself with people that simply do not appreciate this aspect of your personality. “if you have something to say, go ahead! being yourself should make you happy, and life’s already too complicated to worry about speaking too many words!” he tells you, and you can tell he genuinely wants you to let go of these hurtful thoughts. but he also knows how hard it is, and luckily chan is great at making long-term efforts (especially for your wellbeing), so expect lots and lots of carefulness and support on a daily basis.

rbs and feedback are always appreciated <3

[kakiastro]

Chiron: Past/Early life wounds that need Healing

Hey y’all! Today I’m going to discuss how you can start your healing journey by doing shadow work with your Chiron placement and house.

Shadow work is just a new age term meaning working on healing your traumas and starting your inner growth journey. We’ll always have shadow work because we’re constantly growing and changing into hopefully the best versions of ourselves.

Chiron can be a really great way to start this journey. Why? Chiron in astrology represents the wounded healer. Which means this is the area that we were hurt the most in past lives and in this lifetime during our early stages (childhood, early teen) years. Chiron is our greatest lesson. And through our healing journey, we can help others on there’s too.

To understand your Chiron; look at the description for your sign + house + degree sign. Break it down and start your healing journey.

Example: Chiron Taurus 9h 7°(libra degree)

Aries/1h

- in past lives, who you are as a person might’ve gotten wounded, demonized or shut down. This gives me wounded warrior energy. You’re a fighter and you may have lost some battles. In this life, people still put you down. You may have been seen as “too much.” To start this healing journey, ask yourself “who am I really?” Make sure this is who you are and not what you been told what to be.

Taurus/2h

-in past lives, your self worth, morals and values were wounded someway. You may have had money issues. In this life, this may have continued. Also people might of been mean to about your looks, may have issue with money and spending or you hoard money because you’re afraid you won’t make enough. Taurus rules the throat so you’re probably self conscious about your voice. To start healing this wound, tell yourself “ I am worthy and abundant.” Release this fear that you’re not worthy of owning nice things. You’re beautiful, and enough. Start listening to upbeat music to make you feel good about yourself.

Gemini/ 3h

-past lives, people didn’t listen to what you had to say. They didn’t understand where you were coming from so they told you to stop talking. This caused a deep wound. In this life, you might’ve been the child “talk too much.” Thus you were told to be quiet. You may struggle with collecting and speaking your thoughts due to the fear of being judged. To start your healing journey, start journaling. Write down your thoughts and feelings. start sharing your opinions, even if it’s small like discussing your favorite show.

Cancer/4h

-this is known as the mother wound. You may have been one of your ancestors in your past lives. You may have been hurt emotionally, they were never validated. You may never had that safe home space. In this life, you are the generational breaker in your family. How you feel is important but no one (especially family)ever made you feel safe. To your healing journey is really a special because your healing your bloodline. Finding or creating family/home that you can call your own. You have to get use to being the black sheep of your family. They don’t understand because they are carrying that trauma for several generations and here you are breaking that trauma. It’s like letting a toddler sit in front of the tv all day. When you shut it off to encourage playing outside, the toddler throws a hissy fit but you know it’s beneficial for them in the long run.

Leo/5h

-you were a star that shined bright but others didn’t like that and diminished your light from the world. The way you expressed your creative self was shunned. This can indicate having problems with children, maybe you didn’t like being around them or couldn’t have any of your own. In this life, you may have struggled as a child. Other kids didn’t get you. You struggled being openly creative. You may struggle with having the light on you. Well I’m here to tell you that the world needs your creative spirit. The way you express yourself help heal others. Start accepting compliments gracefully without acting weird about it. Surround yourself around children. they will bring out that fun inner child and you’ll learn to have fun.

Virgo/6h

-you’re re a healer and your healing abilities have been looked down upon. This is also a mental wound. You may have judged and may have had people be really critical of you. In this life, you may have developed perfectionist tendencies. You may work work and experience horrible burnout. You may have problems with co-workers. To start this journey, I just want to say that you don’t need to overextend your body to prove yourself. You’re perfect and the way you heal others is beautiful to see.

Libra/7h

-people have abused your kindness for weakness. You may have been the type who didn’t confront people who were in power and tried to keep the peace. You may have had problems with marriage partners or business associates. In this life, you may have developed people pleasing tendencies, scared to get into new relationships due to past life situations. To help you understand how to heal this, I need you all to realize that it’s okay to disagree with people outwardly. You guys are so scared of confrontation that you don’t tell ppl how you really feeling and this is causing inner resentment. You may also with some Co-dependency tendencies that you need to work through.

Scorpio/8h

TW: SA

-people have betrayed your trust in past lives. You may have suffered from sexual abuse, or your sexuality was demonized by society. You may have been involved with the occult and punished for it. In this life, you may suffer from intimacy from people especially lovers. You may have a hard time really trusting people and opening up. I think this is one of the most painful Chiron placements because Scorpio is that deep inner wound. To start this healing journey, you need to understand that the world is not out to get you. You guys block so many of your blessings due to the fear of being hurt and betrayed. Be cautious of people but don’t push them out. Work on your intimacy, let your partner hold you hand and kiss you in public without feeling bad about it

Sagittarius/9h

-your ideals were not supported by people your past lives. You may have had problems with religious people. You may have had a different philosophy from others. In this life, I’ve seen it manifest in 2 major ways. You push your ideologies on people and not listen to theirs due to past lives of being rejected or you don’t share them at all. You may have a fear of traveling abroad because change scares you. If you want to start combating this then embrace all the changes. Share you ideologies and philosophies but please listen to others because it will expand your worldview on life. Embrace new cultures and let them inspire you.

Capricorn/10h

-just like how cancer is the mother wound, Capricorn is the father wound. You may have been an ancestor on your father side in a past life. You may have struggled in your career. You may have had bosses who were severely unkind to you. This could have damaged your public image. In this life, you may have problems with authority or you don’t like working for people. There’s a father wound that you need to heal. You are the generational trauma breaker for your father side. you may have abandonment issues. Standing up for yourself against your bosses will help with the start of your healing journey. Start being okay with realizing that not everyone is meant to be in your life long term. It has nothing to do with you either.

Aquarius/11h

-y’all were some rebels in your past lives. You were the ones who went against the norms of society. This caused you to be shunned by society and alone. This caused a deep wound because you wanted that community feeling. In this life, this has caused you to be severely antisocial. You may have been seen as the weirdo growing up and shunned. Here’s the the thing, you are a weirdo but you need to embrace this about yourself. The day you wake up and realize that life too short to care what “society thinks of you” is when you will start to really heal. Dye your hair different colors, buy that stuff animal, do that silly dance in the rain. In the words of Beyoncé “UNIQUE!” You’re and alien superstar

Pisces /12h

-this one’s tricky, your spirituality were demonized. You may have been sent to the psych ward in past lives. You have gifts that were not acknowledged or praised. This caused a deep rift between you and the divine. In this life, you may struggle spiritually on where to go. You may have used unhealthy substances to help you cope. You guys are really the biggest healers because you are connected to the divine. One of the best ways for you all to heal is listening to frequency music, go out in nature. Boundaries are a big one for you guys. Don’t let people gas light you, your intuition is never wrong. Meditate and remember who you are.

Thank you for reading

[alpaca-clouds]

How to make a "world" more accessible

Let's talk a bit about accessible worldbuilding. I am thinking here first about Solarpunk worlds, but also about other scifi and fantasy worlds, that often do not think about this at all. Again, there is this nasty tendency to just assume that there are no disabilities in those worlds - and it leaves disabled people often feeling left out.

One of the most basic accessibility features one would expect to see in a world would be some sorts of ramps. And don't get me started with "oh, in my world wheelchairs fly!", which is something that actually not all folks reliant on wheelchairs want - as the actual hand-moved wheelchair often gives them a certain control.

It should also be noted that ramps help not only wheelchair users, but also people with baby strollers, and folks who might use other mobility aids like rollators. Heck, in my life ramps have also helped me, when I was travelling with a large trunk. Really, ramps make life easier for a lot of folks! Heck, if we think about a solarpunk world, where hopefully a lot of folks would get around by bike, ramps would help as well.

Of course, in some cases (if feasible in the technology level) there might also be a need for some sort of elevator. Again, not only wheelchair users will make use of that.

Another thing that should help, would be a wider usage of stuff like orientation systems for blind people. Currently those things are fairly spotty. Like some places have them, other places don't. And even where they are implemented, a lot of folks do not know what they are and will walk over it and park their cars on it. Stuff like that, which will once again make stuff more dangerous and inaccessible for blind people.

Then there should more accessibility accomondations for people who are deaf or hard of hearing. Those could mean to install visual signals for warning systems, which often currently are mainly auditory. It could also mean a wider usage of stuff like subtitles if possible in the world. And it also could mean that in the world people are more encouraged to learn sign language.

But those are the obvious disabilities. The stuff folks think off first when they hear "disability".

But there are other disabilities. Personally, for example, I do have some issues with my bowels. So what would be important to me is easy access to toilets whereever I move around. Which also is to say: Yes, dear public transport. Not having a single accessible toilet in your fucking train is an accessibility issue and ableistic.

Or the one accessibility aspect that has slowly been taken away recently due to hostile architecture: Benches and other places in public to sit down on. Because a lot of folks just cannot stand/walk for a long while. This is true for old people, and recently increasingly too for folks disabled through COVID.

There is also the need for shaded areas. As there are several disabilities that do not deal well with direct sunlight. Be it people who react allergic against sunlight, be it people whose eyes cannot deal with too much light, or be it people who might just struggle with their circulation when in the direct sun for too long.

And then there is allergic people. Which is also a big chunk - and in some cases can be quite debilitating. And I might remind people: In a fantasy or scifi world there might be people allergic to some of the worldbuilding stuff. Like in the Witcher Triss is allergic against magic, and in the nice sapphic webcomic Always Human one of the two main characters is allergic against bio-implants. Hence, ideally in an accessible fantasy/scifi world it would be easy to access what kinda stuff is in a potion and what not, to allow folks to be safe.

Lastly, of course, there are neurodivergent folks and... about that I am going to talk tomorrow.

Oh, and by the way: If you are disabled and have ideas of how the world could be more accessible for you... Please feel free to add!

[mmoonpies]

Okay okay I saw that you're taking requests and then SPENCER R3ID ARE YOU KIDDING, love that guy honestly sooo could you maybe do something where the reader is also in the bau and spencer and them have been dating for years (like from s1 to like s4 idk ) and only Aaron knows (because he obviously has to know for work reasons) and the team somehow finds out and are like wtf since when and then spencer says 4 years and blah blah days and so on you get the drill

i literally love him sm. him + fluff is my fav thing!!

also sorry this is lowkey sloppy + unedited

spencer reid was nothing short of being described as introspective; gentle and withdrawn eve. his mind was constantly running, comfortable focusing on his inner thoughts and ideas, drawn to the corners of the wall as he willingly let other people's shadows tower over him.

despite the uncontrollable bursts of facts that fall from his tongue before dissolving into a stuttering ramble, he was pretty withdrawn. often refusing to go 'socialising' with the other bau members, preferring to stay within the comfort of his apartment to read and write.

that was until he met you.

your smile was toothy, lips sharply curved into a grin as your eyes shimmered with a playfulness he yearned for. you had no problem being in the "spotlight" voice loud and almost boastful as you bashfully took control of the room. you were loyal, unafraid to protect those you loved; even if it would end in your peril.

your greetings were filled with enthusiasm, followed by your signature grin, despite being 4am in the morning, only fuelled the other's disdain as they winced and clutched their coffee tighter. spencer's eyes would rest on your face from across the room, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as he felt the urge to smile at your bubbliness.

spencer once thought you'd be attracted to someone as confident as you, willing to show you off and flaunt your skills whenever possible. when, in reality, it was the opposite; you were searching for someone you could show off.

you were the one to listen with undivided attention to his over-the-top explanations, eyes wide and attentive as you smiled at him when his voice died off, encouraging him to keep speaking. it made his chest swell, cheeks growing warm as hesitantly gripped at his fingers, playing with them as he nervously continued his explanation.

you were the one who dropped a coffee off at his desk with a small smiley face messily drawn on the side, shooting him a bright grin before bouncing off to your desk. spencer would keep his palms wrapped around the cup, silently treasuring the drawing meant for him.

it became a routine - you sent a coffee his way each morning, and in return, spencer would offer half of his sandwich to you after you walked him through a 'tour' of your lunch. you would give him a generous serving of your lunch, and he would gratefully eat it, no matter the taste.

and to be honest, he wasn't sure when a full sandwich became 'too much' for him, always craving whatever concoction you had created after each half of his sandwich. he wasn't sure when he became so fond of you, patiently and hopefully waiting for you to bound over towards him, fists clenched in front of your shoulders as you beamed up at him.

"spencer, you will not believe how excited i am for lunch today!"

"i think i can," spencer would smile back, eyebrows raising as you bit your lip, grin still toothy and bright. "what've you got today?"

"can't tell you," you squinted up at him, giggling like a devious child. "you have to wait until lunch, but trust me, it'll blow your silly mismatched socks off!"

"hey! what'd they ever do to you?!"

it had stayed that way for 4 years; every single day, without missing a beat. no matter the time or day, you never failed to bring him c coffee with a smiley face, just like he had never failed to give you half of his sandwich.

being with you came as easy as breathing, although he struggled to convey his emotions, both physically and verbally, you both confided in the action of sharing lunch together. he hardly touched you at work, not wanting to seem unprofessional and upset hotchner or anyone on the team.

the only words hotchner had said in relation to the two of you were practically unthreatening. yet, as spencer shyly stood behind you as hotchner processed the information, the sickly feeling of dread spread throughout the inner lining of spencer's stomach.

"don't let it interfere with your work," he demanded, eyebrows furrowed as usual. you both gushed out 'thank you' before turning to leave, the stress of hiding it washing off the two of your shoulder's.

spencer, for 4 years, had assumed hotch had announced it to everyone else on the team. he still dealt with derek's teasing about him being a 'virgin' and his constant jabs about his 'experience with women.'

he was honestly just glad nothing had changed; your routine stayed the same, your glances lingering a little longer than usual, and your smiley faces turning into hearts. but that was all.

spencer was currently cursing his wonky alarm, almost tripping over his own feet as he struggled to pull his own pants up. a slice of bread was caught between his teeth as he slung his satchel over his shoulder before rushing out the door of his apartment.

he was cursing his dumb decision to skip crashing over at your apartment, fingers smashing against the buttons of his cell phone as he called you back, wincing at the number of missed calls he had.

"hey, hey! i'm so sorry y/n, please just tell them i'll be there soon. my alarm didn't go off!"

"i told you it needs new batteries-"

"is now the time to say 'i told you so'?" spencer practically whined in your ear, a small smile curving at your lips as you giggled.

"got it, just get here as quick as you can." you murmured in response before flipping your phone shut, lifting your head up to meet the inquisitive gaze of four profilers staring right at you. "he slept in, he'll be here in about 5 minutes."

"the spencer reid being late? that's a first," emily teased, flipping through the case file in front of her. hotch's facial expression was the same as always; eyes slightly narrowed and eyebrows creasing inwards with his lips stretched into a thin line.

"everyone's allowed to be late," hotch shrugged as he stepped in front of the projector, grabbing one of the files scattered over the round table. "once."

you almost snorted at the delivery, shoulders hunching over as you caught yourself, swallowing your laugh. you caught derek's eye just as the door behind you swung open, a flustered spencer basically clambering through the doorway.

"sorry, sorry! i'm so sorry i'm late!" his voice was pitched, bowing his head at hotch before walking over to you. his brain was still recovering from his interrupted and rushed morning, a cloud of haziness hovering over his brain as he leant down and pressed a kiss to your temple. "sorry i missed your calls."

the room is silent apart from the squeak of spencer's chair as he sits down, rolling forward to reach a case file before noticing the defeating silence in the room. he lifts his head up, only to be met by the shocked and wide-eyed faces of his team members.

"what?"

"what was that?' derek exclaimed, gesturing between the two of you. spencer shook his head with a shrug before tilting his head, eyebrows furrowing with confusion.

"what do you mean?"

"you just...kissed y/n on the forehead," jj spoke slowly as if she was still processing the situation in her head. spencer had a confused smile stretch across his lips. looking between the three of them as if they were crazy.

"yeah? you guys are acting like we aren't dating..."

"WHAT?"

spencer jolts back at the yells of the three members, hands raising in a defensive manner before looking over at you. your jaw was basically on the floor, eyes wide as you stared at spencer.

"...they didn't know, spencer," your voice is barely above a whisper, embarrassment running thick as you hunch your shoulders once more. for once, the attention is focused on spencer, and you're thankful the spotlight isn't on you.

"since when?" emily immediately interrogates him, standing up and leaning over the desk as her palm splays against the wooden table.

"c'mon, they're obviously pranking us," derek shrugs with a confident smirk. "we would've known sooner if they actually were dating."

"no I'm-i'm serious," spencer defends, mouth opening and closing before he turns back to face emily and answers her question. "it's been 4 years."

"WHAT?" they all exclaim in unison once more, lips parted as their jaws drop. they're all frozen in shock, eyes flickering between the two of you.

"i'm confused, how did you guys not know? we share lunch together every day!" spencer laughs in disbelief, shrugging as his hands flop between you and him. "y/n brings me a coffee every day."

"yeah but-"

'you never gave us a reason to believe that you were more than friends!" jj interjects, arms crossing over her chest.

"can we please focus on the case, guys?" hotch interrupts with a deep sigh, rubbing at his forehead with an impressed glower.

"hotch, you're not surprised?" derek exclaims, sitll in disbelief.

"no, they told me 4 years ago," hotch states simply before turning towards jj. "now, we've had enough interruptions. the case? please?"

"we're going out for drinks, and you're telling us everything." emily demands, her index finger pointing directly at you. you can feel everyone's gaze turns towards you, snickering at how flustered you look - unable to meet their eyes as you cover your cheeks with your hands.

"i'm sorry?" spencer offers, his own shoulders hunching upwards."i can give you my entire sandwich?!"

"be quiet, spencer!"

[animeyanderelover]

Hi, can I request Chae Yul, Dabi, Itachi, Giorno Giovanna, Narancia Ghigra, Leone Abbacchio, Douma and Tomioka Giyu with a very shy s/o ? S/o tries to have as little as possible eye contact with the yandere and tries to be as far away as possible? They also try to cover their faces when they are very embarrassed.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive relationship, obsession, stalking, clinginess, manipulation, isolation, jealousy, social anxiety, insecurities, violence, death

Very shy s/o

Itachi Uchiha

🍡Your extremely shy nature is as obvious as it can get and has caused Itachi to feel multiple times a day concerned about you even during his stalker phrase. You’re socially awkward and lack experience as you tend to stick with the things you’re familiar with out of fear to embarrass yourself so the eventual abduction is the worst situation you could be confronted with. Itachi is as understanding as he can be though, is patient and doesn’t try to force you into any more uncomfortable situations. You need time to at least get a chance to adjust but whilst he doesn’t confront you, he at least shows up long enough to let you see that he doesn’t plan to harm you. Itachi definitely feels more protective and there’s this possessive urge at times to keep you completely for himself and to take charge over your life as you have troubles voicing out your opinion. He snaps mostly out of it though, even goes as far as encouraging you to speak up more.

Dabi

🔹Dabi finds the struggles of his s/o and their shyness just freaking adorable, especially since it’s such a strong contrast to his own personality and the ones of the people he surrounds himself with. Seeing you struggling to talk to others or speak up is such a cute sight to see, stalking you and seeing you troubling yourself with concerned thoughts never fails to lift his mood. Whilst it is cute seeing you being insecure and shy by yourself, the sight of someone making you uncomfortable has his blood boiling and everyone who dares to make his little mouse shy will burn for it. He knows that an abduction will surely only worsen things for you but he doesn’t give a fuck about it. You’re such a breath of fresh air in his life, too pure for someone like him but the taboo of it makes it all more exciting. He attempts to make you a bit more comfortable around him though but at times he makes you purposely nervous to see your reactions and tease you.

Tomioka Giyu

🌊Giyu isn’t really any better than his s/o, he just manages to be more stoic and hide his emotions better than his s/o does. There’s this feeling of anxiety and nervousness when Tomioka gets the chance to spend time with you though as he doesn’t know what to say or how to express his feelings for you. The end result is always this awkward silence where you try your best to keep your distance and avoid eye contact. Initially when Giyu notices, he’s worried it’s because of him. After some stalking observing, he comes to realize that you’re just naturally very shy and not because you’re intimidated or uncomfortable around him hopefully. Your shy nature stresses him at times out though since he’s almost always worried that he might do something that may make you uncomfortable so he becomes hyper aware when he’s around you, secretly desperate to gain some of your affection. He can’t help the increase within his protective nature though, if someone makes you feel anxious he will step in.

Douma

❄️Possibly one of the worst when it comes to a very shy s/o. Now, in Douma’s eyes his darling is nothing short of adorable. Every little reaction has his heart fluttering wildly in his chest, every shy word spoken has him enraptured. He dotes excessively on you for your shyness, spoils you with all the riches he can give. Unfortunately Douma lets his sadistic streak show as he forces you into uncomfortable situations with him only to see your shyness and witness the way you avoid eye contact, stutter and pinch your heated cheeks whilst cooing over your sweetness. Whether he violates your personal space or asks you gruesome and weird questions. It should be pointed out that Douma is awfully possessive though. You are only for his eyes and everyone else who either gets a glimpse of your adorable personality or makes you a bit anxious will be beheaded on the spot. For that sake Douma keeps you isolated as everything about you should only be his to savor and cherish.

Giorno Giovanna

🐞Some may think that this should be forbidden. Giorno himself understands though. The unlikelihood of two people so vastly different as someone like you should never be involved with the likes of him. Ultimately Giorno won’t stay away from you though as he’s possessive and partially delusional too. Unlike the force and power he holds, he approaches you normally though as he hides who he is from you in an attempt to charm you and have you falling in love with him naturally instead of straight up forcing you. He takes advantage of your shy personality though as he knows that you feel nervous to approach new people and starts manipulating your surroundings so you end up spending a lot of time with him and only him. Whilst your shy reactions around him might be adorable at first, it’s important to him that you feel comfortable around him. Giorno is fairly patient and suave with you but you have an abduction coming eventually for you.

Leone Abbacchio

🍷Abbacchio is hit with feelings of insecurity and shame as he can’t help but feel like this should be illegal. You’re without a doubt the purest and softest person he’s ever met and normally he would have frowned at your behavior. But all it really took was your sensibility and your caring nature to make him fall for you as you showed him more kindness than the majority of people he knows. He doesn’t deserve you, it’s something Leone tells himself daily as you don’t fit within the grim lifestyle he leads. He doesn’t want you to find out who he really is for the sake of keeping what he has of you in his life now. He’s a bit dependent on the slices of kindness and nurture you give him, especially since he knows that you have troubles socializing due to your shyness, a trait which overwhelms him at times. Abbacchio turns very vicious and aggressive around others if they make you anxious, follows you around more than you should know as his protective streak makes it hard for him to not do nothing.

Narancia Ghirga

🧡Narancia overdoes it when it comes to his darling due to the clear inexperience in general when it comes to the concept of loving someone romantically. He's never really met someone as shy as you before either and frankly spoken, that leads to some misunderstandings, especially since he's paranoid. Your shyness is mistaken as fear as you can't keep eye contact with him and always keep a good distance between you two. Narancia, assuming that you don't want to be with him, takes for that the wrong path as he starts following you around even more, invades your privacy and tries desperately to gain your attention until he can't take it anymore and bursts out in tears in front of you, blaming you for not even giving him a chance and begging you to accept him. Even after he has understood that you're just a very shy person, he turns only worse with those around you as he starts threatening everyone as soon as you look remotely uncomfortable and smothers you with his presence and affection to make you feel protected.

Chae Yul

💜Chae Yul might find your shyness adorable later on but as long as you keep avoiding him and his gaze, you really trigger the worst inside of him. Yul is addicted to your thoughtfulness and your kindness you show him, especially during the days where he is bullied. He starts to believe that you two only need each other and his obsession really starts kicking in after he realizes that you're someone who has troubles adjusting to new people and new situations, hence why he makes sure to keep you away from others. You only need him and he makes it significantly hard for you to form new bonds since he's clingy and follows you around everywhere, convinces you to stay with him and threatens and scares everyone else away, paranoid that you might get close to someone. He's already boiling with jealousy if he realizes that you have less troubles looking at someone and talking to them which only results in him guilt-tripping you with tears into showing him affection, he won't allow anyone else getting in between you two.

[ivys-garden]

I, like many of yall, have noticed a vocal minority of people showing there support for Wilbursoot, going as far as to attack shubble and her supporters. In this post I'll go through the main points I've seen them argue with and explain why I believe that they are all wrong.

“Shubble was the real abuser” - No. If she was, William would have spoken up. There is no evidence for this, well, that isn't faked or saying one thing is another (like the guy saying a pic of will crying was because of shubble or the guy trying to pass a stream of a completely different girl of as shubble abusing will… live. On stream. Yah, think we would have heard of that before now.)

“She has no proof” - genuinely fuck of. In domestic abuse cases there won't always be hard proof, that's one of the reasons the police struggle to do anything about it. If a wife is struck by a husband and it leaves no mark that doesn't mean it didn't happen “why didn't she show the bruises” have you guys ever been bruised? Bruises heal quickly, and she doesn't have any to show since the allegations came out after their break up, all the bruises would have healed. “Why didn't she take photos at the time?” Look at it this way, if I punch you across the face you will have a lot of thoughts, none of them will be “I should take a photo of this so people belive me what I say it happened”

(Also don't pretend that people wouldn't just say the evidence was fake if she did have pictures)

Oh and she does have evidence, the fact William admitted to it.

“She just did it for attention” - bitch, shubble doesn't need attention she was doing great. Just because you never heard of her didn't mean she was some underground indie youtuber, she didn't need to lie to get attention. Also lying about domestic abuse is not a good way to do this since it's really easy to disprove. The other party would come out instantly to tell everyone the truth. William didn't do that because shubble WAS telling the truth.

“Her story changed” - no. It didn't. Even the idea that she changed whether or not wilbur bruised with the bites or made her bled (both of which are still bad, btw) is made up, she never said that, as was clarified by shubble herself

“She encouraged death threats” - She openly decouraged death threats. Saying she was like: “everyone go and tell people to kill themselves” is literally putting words in her mouth

Also, this by no means goes for everyone, but arguing about death threats while, wilbur hasn't told his supports not to send death threats and that wilburs supporters have been saiding threats to shubble and her fans while condemning the few shubble fans who sent death threats, is kinda stupid

(Also this is by no means the main point but I have seen people who support wilbur literally begging for death threats, soooooooo)

(Oh aslo I was mistaken in the early version where I said shubble had implied that she didn't belive wilbur could change, that was another misconception and I'm sorry for spreading it. Shubble does belive that people can change IF they put in the work to do so)

Also remember, William has not been shown to actually change yet. He still hasn't even given shubble an apology that takes proper accountability, when he does that, apologies to everyone else he's wronged, and puts in the effort to actually be better moving forward, then we can forgive him. But at the moment he has not shown that.

So until then: support shubble. Belive victims. Raise awareness for these issues in the gaming space (this has been going on for a long time). And don't engage with people who make up evidence to support there parasocial relationships, don't send death threats (obviously, because that's wrong) but also don't engage in any other way. This will be my last post on this subject. Move on from William and the support for him will die down when they realise there's no one to disagree with, and then William, Shubble and all of us can move past this and into the future as a (hopefully) better space

[cringelordofchaos]

craig is so fucking emotionally repressed and afraid of being vulnerable and open about his feelings and bottles them up way too much until he cant handle it and it never gets resolved i love him

he thinks he "is in control of his emotions", but in reality it seems like he's moreso blocking them out or ignoring them, or trying to rationalize the situation. (at least that's what it seems to be the case judging by the fact that's how he tried to help tweek feel better in Put It Down.) But it's literally canon that his primary weakness is communication so its definitely moredifficult for him to express his emotions unless he burts them out (like in his argument with tweek in put it down.)

love his relationship with tweek, it really forces him to confront an important part of life he is shown avoiding - emotions. and by talos it is difficult for him but he's learning.

though at the same time he's overwhelmed and overburdened, since tweek is pretty emotional and sometimes potentially clingy (due to him being naturally insecure of himself and somewhat relying on craig for encouragement), this might be perceived as a threat for craig who's practically afraid of emotions or vulnerability, and probably doesnt know how to manage them the best.

this is best shown (but not resolved) in Buddha Box where Cartman says the buddha box can help him block out anxiety or other people that may overburden him. he begins to talkabout tweek and feeling like hes always asking for his attention. so he just tries blocking everything out instead of confronting this or communicating this to tweek. its pretty interesting how they practically made it canon that he actually struggles with anxiety, despite him being the monotone, deadpan and calm one, especially when compared to tweek. im pretty disappointed they didnt resolve this by the end, but boy am i glad they showed the part of him that struggles as much as others. from what we know, craig is really not that close to many people, or much things, besides stripe, his guinea pig... so given his difficulties with communicating and accepting his feelings accompanied by the fact that he isnt and never was close to that many people, i dont blame him for finding it difficult to exactly manage his relationshiip with tweek, especially as tweek is really emotional himself. and craig does care, a lot, and does want tweek to be happy, and he tries helping him by simply being logical and coming up with solutions, rather than thinking emotionally, but sometimes that's simply not enough. and he does learn that in put it down but sort of starts struggling again in buddha box, except this time instead of learning to be emotinally vulnerable for tweek, he shuts himself off from everyone. though hopefully one day he learns to be more open, because that's pretty important in general but especially in a relationship, i think.

eurghhhh they complete each other so well. they are so different which does prove itself to be an obstacle but also is important for both of them, because they learn soo much from each other. Tweek learned how to be more confident in himself 'in a way he never has before' thanks to craig. and tweek is helping craig learn how to manage emotional relationships and life better and understand emotions in general.

Im not sure where exactly his emotional suppression comes from. It could be due to his family being more closed off. it could be due to him possibly being autistic. it could be due to both. it could be due to neither. but i love him nonetheless.

anyway sorry for small rant. the post was initially just gonna be one sentence but i felt like elaborating on what i meant. i love craig tucker soooo much. he makes me soooo happy.

[amyispxnk]

My Kind of Woman

Chapter 2: What he needs.

Series Masterlist || Previous Chapter

Series summary - Your song captivates Joel the second he hears you that night in Jackson, but he struggles to work up the courage to confess his feelings. With some (very heavy) encouragement from Ellie and Tommy, you two get closer and closer until he finally thinks he’s ready.

Chapter summary - The two of you make plans, Joel thinks about his past and how far he’s come in these 20 years.

A/N: Ngl Joel is falling really hard for reader, I didn’t plan on making him this head over heels for her but oh well.

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: alcohol, light language, fluff, ANGST (sarah bby 🙁), mention of grief and losing a child, very brief mention of childbirth (not graphic)

DO NOT COPY THIS FIC IN ANY WAY PLS AND TY.

The next time you saw Joel was another night you were singing at the bar, having just finished up, face flushed as you looked around for somewhere to sit and have a drink you desperately needed. You’d been taking dozens of requests for close to an hour after only expecting to be singing 2 or 3 songs, not that you really minded. You loved being able to make people smile, even with something as small as a song. Anything that could make someone feel a little happier was considered a great victory these days.

You spotted Joel, he was alone this time, and went over to him after grabbing your drink, sliding into the booth across from him.

He still wasn’t completely used to just talking with you, always finding himself getting nervous as you approached, getting even more nervous when you started hugging him as a greeting, feeling that panic again when you’d start talking about your day but all he could do was get lost in your beauty as the words went in one ear and out the other (one time, you were looking at him for a good ten seconds before he realised that you were waiting for a response from him and he actually went red with embarrassment, coughing and turning away as he muttered a reply).

You were so positive all the time though, never calling him out on his clear social awkwardness and never getting frustrated with him. It wasn’t a suffocating kind of optimism, though, it was just a nice change of pace having someone who could just talk and smile and laugh no matter what was going on. He wished it was that easy for him.

Immediately, you started talking about your day with him, asking what he did, giggling a little when he told you that he ‘spent half the damn mornin’ cleanin’ horse shit with Tommy because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut and decided to drag me into it when his wife punished him’, and eventually asking him about something he didn’t realise you knew about.

“So.. Ellie tells me you play guitar.” You mused as you traced over the rim of your glass, looking up at him with a small smile.

“I do.” He confirms, brows furrowing a little as he wonders where you’re going with this.

“She also says you’re very good at it,” you say, which makes him a little more hopeful, “so I was wondering if maybe you’d consider playing with me sometime?”

You motion to the stage with your hand and his eyes go wide. He didn’t do that kind of thing. Performing. Prancing around, smiling and grinning so wide it made his jaw ache, all for a few claps and cheers from an almost totally drunken crowd. It wasn’t his thing. Even if he knew how happy it would make you if he said yes, he just preferred watching you do it.

“I um- Not up there.” He coughs, and you don’t look all that surprised, or upset. Maybe you knew it was a bit of a stretch to ask that of him.

“Okay, then.. How about you play for me, then? Just us, not in front of anyone else. I’m sure you’re a great musician.” You suggest with a smile, looking up at him a little more hopefully.

And, honestly, how could he deny you? Although his mind was going at a million miles an hour right now because how in god’s name would he be able to control himself alone with you?! ..he knew this was too good of an opportunity to pass up.

“Yeah. That sounds good, sweetheart. When would you be free for it, then?” He says, thankful he could actually find his voice in that moment. You look at him for another second as your cheeks slowly go red again and you smile, the term always having that effect on you no matter how many times he uses it with you, before you tell him that you’d be free on Friday evening.

After finalising the plans and finishing your drinks, he finds a new surge of bravery course through him and asks if you’d like him to walk you home.

“Oh, yes! That sounds great.” You smile, and the two of you walk out of the Tipsy Bison.

You sigh when the doors close behind you, loving the feel of the cool air on your face and that comforting silence of the night all around you, a stark contrast to the inside of the bar, as the two of you start heading to your place.

He takes it upon himself to start some conversation after the first few minutes of.. not awkward, but not the most pleasant, silence goes by between the two of you.

“I actually wanted to be in a band, growing up.” He says, mumbling a little at the end as he finds himself getting nervous again.

“Oh yeah?” You grin, and he finds it puts him at ease.

“Yeah,” he nods. “Actually, I- I was plannin’ on trying to take it further, go to some auditions and shit when I left highschool.” He laughs, thinking about how funny it would’ve been if that had actually worked out and he spent his early years touring around America with some folk band.

Then he remembers why it didn’t work out. How, when he was only 18, he got a girl pregnant, and then that dream, along with basically all of his other ones, withered away.

Despite the unfortunate circumstances, he never backed down. Never got angry, or tried to find a way out of the situation he had put himself in. He took care of the girl as best he could - despite her wanting almost nothing to do with him and cursing him for knocking her up - and waited outside of the delivery room for hours as his babygirl was born, since the mother didn’t even want him in there with her.

After the first three hours went by, she eventually let him in just so she could squeeze his hand so hard he swore his skin was ripping.

She never really hated Joel, she just hated what he did to her, and hated what became of it. How could she hate him though, when he had stayed and treated her as best he could during the entire pregnancy? He took accountability, helped her afford bills, accompanied her to appointments.. It certainly went better than things normally did in these kinds of situations.

After Sarah was born, things got even more complicated, and he ended up a single father at 19 years old.

It was hard raising Sarah, but he loved her with his entire heart, and when he lost her he felt like he lost himself completely.

Then he met Ellie, and she saved him. She was his second chance. It almost felt like Sarah was there too, like she had sent Ellie to Joel so he could change for the better. In truth, he really did. Despite the grey area with things like Salt Lake, he left the cold, ruthless, murdering part of himself behind when he saved her from that hospital, when he came back to Jackson, and eventually when he met you. You didn’t know it yet, but you were the only other thing he had to look forward to after a hard day, a smile from you when you caught his eye up on stage his favourite way to ignore his problems.

“Joel?” Your voice brings him out of his thoughts, a gentle hand on his shoulder bringing him back to earth. “Are you okay? You zoned out a little there.” You murmur, looking at him with concern in your eyes. He hadn’t realised his eyes had gotten misty as he thought of his daughter, of everything that had happened. Maybe one day he’d tell you too, if you ever got that close.

He clears his throat, nodding and sniffing a little. “All good, sorry sweetheart.”

“You sure?” You press, and he nods.

You offer him a small smile before stopping, and he looks up to realise that you’re at your house.

He’s never really looked at your house before, he realises as he stands at the edge of the property with you. It suits you, he thinks. Cute little flower pots on the windowsill, a smiley-face painted onto the mailbox by your name, purple curtains that are drawn on the inside.

Her favourite colour was purple.

“Well, this is me. Thanks for the walk, Joel, I’m really excited to see you on Friday.” You say, preventing his mind from wandering any further, hugging him tightly before he says goodbye to you and you walk up to your front door, giving him another small wave before going inside. He watches the door close before letting out a deep exhale and turning to go back to his own place.

He spends the evening on his back porch, strumming at the guitar quietly as he thinks of his daughter. Music always felt like a kind of therapy for him, whenever his thoughts got too loud and worrying like this, he’d just let the instrument take over his mind. It was like second nature as he played the chords, stringing them together to form songs from another time, and it helped to take his mind off of things. It was definitely a better distraction than what he used to do, pure anger being his most prominent emotion from the grief, violence being the only solution back then in his mind.

He now believes that he is almost at that stage of complete acceptance, finally being able to just sit down with his thoughts, breathe, and try to process things, now that he was in Jackson. It was safe here, he had Ellie - even though he was always wondering what would happen if she found out about Salt Lake in the back of his mind - he found Tommy, and there was a community he had a home in.

It felt strange to say that he had a home in the apocalypse. The places he stayed at just felt like houses to him. Buildings where you had a place to sleep and keep your shit - that’s what they had been to him after the outbreak happened. None of them ever felt like home. How could he have a home, when the one thing he’d look forward to coming back home to at the end of a long day, was buried in the cold ground?

As he mulls over his thoughts, letting the notes from his guitar flow freely through the air, he realises that this is now his home. With Ellie, with his guitars and his woodworking room, his bed and the framed photos that hang on his walls, his coffee machine, his brother down the street, with you and the sound of your voice being the thing he plays in his mind before going to sleep.

Now, he thinks he wants more than just your voice rattling throughout his skull. He wants you. Completely. Always. Everywhere, every day. He wants to wake up beside you in the early morning, drink coffee in the kitchen with you as you talk about your plans for the day ahead, come back home to the sight of you on the couch at midday, play guitar for you in the afternoon, take you to his bed at dusk, fall asleep with you in his arms at night, and do the same thing on repeat until his final day on this planet. He needs that in his life.

He didn’t think he’d be able to completely rest until he had you.

Thank you SM for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated 💞

Next Chapter

[etoilesbienne]

Okay on the reset, there's multiple things going on here.

I think it's fair for the heavily active CC to be frustrated their personal stuff was sidelined and interrupted with the reset, I get it. All that progress stopped. I also have full faith in all of the active CC to be able to bounce back and be capable of return in their own way. I trust this of BadBoyHalo and Tubbo. Pierre might have different concerns, but he's been doing content for a decade, I think he'll be fine.

On the other hand, I think this server reset was kinda necessary. Especially from the perspective of more new players being added soon. Like, even Tubbo when added was struggling to find things to do at first because he'd suggest something, and then people would point out someone else already did that like two months prior. To quote a friend, if Tubbo was struggling to find things to do, what's left for players like Lenay?

Keep in mind, the last time the admins tried something to level the playing field between active players and inactive players was Lucky Ducks. Which killed a lot of motivation for members who did like grinding hard to obtain materials. Lucky Ducks was just giving them that stuff without any work. This reset is the last resort in my opinion.

The other thing that interests me is that Etoiles mentioned that he knew about this reset coming (or something similar) for at least three months now. This is odd with the perspective of Pierre and BBH both reacting so badly, like they didn't know this would be happening. Because of both of these scenarios, I think there are two things that could have happened: 1. Etoiles vouching for a reset meant he talked to the admins more one-on-one over this. 2. The admins mentioned a server reset, and never detailed what that would revolve around. I personally think the second is more likely, as QStudios are somewhat... notorious? For being a little nebulous and not the best at communication for all streamers at once.

Ultimately I do think the server reset was a good decision, it encourages playing for people who were never able to get their foot in the door, and hopefully will make the server more active in the future. I also think the incentivizing for players to be farther apart ala Karmaland while create is off for the first few days is a good idea too, we don't need another Roier chunk that lags the hell out of the server being so close to spawn.

I think there's other parts that are less than desirable because they work poorly in practice (disabling all backpacks above iron unless purchased via... the new money system. The new money system in general. Punishing players for doing a bunch of backpacks as a storage system as if that isn't a fair playstyle because it's literally just a bunch of blocks on hand, it makes things more convenient I truly do not get the weird punishing behavior about backpacks. Not telling the players the list of nerfs/changes beforehand. Come on, I would love a Tubbo changelog reading stream. He'd have so much fun doing that.), however overall I am willing to wait another week or two to see how the admin team responds and fixes changes as they see them be interacted with. It's been three days, and there were a hell of a lot of changes.

[angelicgirlmj]

hey! <3

so, i have 2 questions, i dont want to pressure u tho ♡ first of all, been struggling with motivation to do my workouts/go to the gym and meditations recently becuase im a high key procrastinater and cant seem to stop, do you have any tips on how to keep motivated? xx

And second, i do a lot of class presentations at my school and constantly struggle with them, because of an ongoing anxiety about reading in front of others. apart from the fact I'm quite antisocial and have a couple of friends so i dont know ppl very well, i can't seem to find confidence, do you know any ways i can develop better social skills when it comes to public reading/speach? xxx tysm

hi angel! you sound so kind - of course i am so happy to answer your asks! ill break it up into two parts to help make it a little clearer and easier to read.

gym/meditation motivation: the first step is carving out time in your day for these and starting small. it’s pointless thinking okay ill do half an hour of meditation and two hours of working out a day if you dont have the time/energy to do that! instead make the time to begin your day with five minutes of meditation and try and do half an hour of working out, you can always build up the amount of time but you will feel better and more motivated if you are able to meet your goals and then expand them as opposed to feeling bad and shrinking them if you struggle to meet them. secondly i would say find workouts that appeal to you and are fun! dance, pilates and weightlifting are some of my favourite solo workouts but group workouts are so fun and you can experiment and find workouts that appeal to you. also if you like guided meditations try and find ones that interest/deeply calm you to make them more fun to follow. thirdly romanticise your workouts! create cute playlists, gym outfits, buy a cute yoga mat, do your hair and buy a pretty waterbottle. this will help you feel more encouraged and comfortable to workout and also feel way more of a fun event as you dress up etc. finally! reward yourself. after an hour of working out give yourself an hour of screen time, buy a cute drink, if you hit your monthly workout goal amount buy some jewellery or get a present for yourself. rewarding yourself and taking the time to look after your body and mind will help you feel more motivated.

2. this is a bit of a tricker question but hopefully i am able to help even a little bit. firstly you could try practicing reading presentations/work aloud. start by reading it to yourself until you feel confident pronouncing all the words and the speed you feel confident speaking at. then read to a trusted member of family or a friend and ask for feedback or improvements that you can adapt and hopefully feel better and more confident in your speech afterwards. secondly joining some kind of club/activity that requires you to speak could be very useful, for example a drama or debate club, even if you arent super active as a member or choose to do a more casual kind of group, being in a setting where public speaking is encouraged could help you feel more confident! thirdly watching/listening to speeches and body language of people doing public speaking or giving speeches can be really useful and help you focus on what you might need to improve on. finally while it seems difficult try and remember that almost every person in the room is also nervous about public speaking and reading aloud, they may just not show it. you arent the only person who struggles with this, so many people get anxious about public speaking and you should be able to feel better and more confident about it with time!

hopefully this has helped you! good luck, you sound so kind and lovely, im sure that with time you will feel better and more confident. love, m.

[ewanmitchellconnoisseur]

Can you write an Ettore x Reader where Reader is the one who forces him/herself on Ettore?

Iɴ Tʜᴇ Dᴀʀᴋ

A/N: Heyyyy!!! Thank you sm! You are my first ever nonnie! 🥰❤️ Welcome Welcome! Hopefully, I did your beautiful idea justice! Also sorry this took me a while to complete. Also sorry this is so long I couldn't stop typing. Also again, sorry, if this isn't exactly what you imagined, i kinda just let my fingers do the work.

And im so sorry this took me so long so hopefully your still here!

TW: unprotected sex, p in v, degradation, name-calling, slight somnophilia, dubcon, hints to SA, hints to drug addiction, hints to child neglect

Word Count: 4.1k

No one was shocked when your sentence was read. Not even your mother was fazed when she heard the fate that lay before her only child, her baby girl.

Everyone expected it. For a crime as cruel as yours the death penalty was warranted, what people didn't expect was to be delivered news that you would be sent on some sort of space mission instead.

Your mother thought that a worse fate was being sent off to space to die. Not having a body to bury, a grave to clean and to pretend that you had died of anything else. She'd tell her friends it was a car crash, a robbery, cancer. Anything to hide her guilt.

Cause this was all her fault. Had she been the mother you needed and stopped bringing those men into her home....you would never have suffered the way you did. She never forgave herself the first time it happened, you had come downstairs waiting for a snack despite her telling you to stay upstairs no matter what.

You did not know who he was, a man who came often in a black car. All you knew was after he left your mom laid on the couch for hours wasting away. A white powder under her nose. Money was tight, and the offer of 10 minutes in exchange for a free fix was all too tempting to her.

And thats only when it started. It had happened many times after that despite your fight and protest.

And there was only a series of unfortunate events after that. A doctor confirmed your chances of having children were 0, you'd have to settle for alternative options. Kids at school picked and teased you for your dirty closed and matted hair. You weren't the brightest and struggled in every subject except art.

You loved art and enjoyed painting and the freedom that came with it to create whatever you were feeling.

When high school years rolled around you were detached from everyone and everything. You clung to your brushes with stained hands. The teasing never stopped, even the teachers looked at you with a look of disgust.

All but one...Mr Moore...the art teacher. He encouraged your artistic talents. You thought he was sincere, thought his encouragement came from a real and valid place. But it was all for his personal gain...his sick fantasies and tortured mind.

You barely remember when it happened, everything went by so quick. Afterwards, you were so angry you couldn't help yourself. He was the first blood you spilt and painted your canvas with.

You fled and ran off to another town, leaving your mother behind. It was there you realized that maybe you could make a difference, maybe you could get justice not just for yourself but every woman who had gone through the same thing.

It wasn't hard finding men in the area who had gone to jail for assault or worse. And when you did track them down you enjoyed every moment. Blood was a great liquid. And the paintings you'd leave on the wall were masterpieces.

When it was all said and done you had killed 24 men all convicted of assault. Many rallied for you to be released, that you were a hero, not a murderer. But with the killing of 3 officers, the government wouldn't let you go unpunished.

Your first week on the ship was a headache.

Dibs already didn't like you, unknown to you it was due to your inability to conceive. You hated her, she too was a criminal but yet felt as though her crimes meant less than everyone else's.

You cared for no one else. Spent most of your downtime in the activity room where luckily there were only a few art supplies. Colouring utensils and children's paint set.

You sat on the couch your designated sketchbook in hand as you drew, only ever using the red utensils. You missed how smooth blood was, how bright it shone and how dark it dried.

You heard a soft "hm" from behind but when you looked no one was there. Brushing it off you continued your art session until it was time to sleep.

It wasn't until a month on the ship you noticed him. He was quiet but dangerous. You could not lie and say he didn't bring an odd feeling to your stomach, one you had not felt before.

It wasn't hard to get Dibs to give you information on him, specifically on why he was here. And what you found out had you licking your lips in anticipation.

He was one of them. The men that prey on young vulnerable girls like you once were. The ones that attack them in the dark and give them no chance of fighting back.

And so started the plotting, the watching and the fantasizing. You could tell he felt a need to be in control. He rarely spoke but when he did it was to bark orders at whoever was doing chores with him. He visited the box often, he must miss the touch of a woman...

A plan formed beautifully in your mind. One that had no chance of failure.

You wiped down the walls despite it looking clean glancing at him every few seconds. He wore no shirt while cleaning the floor and his eyes too found their way to you.

You moved gracefully every inch was calculated. You gave enough of a view to have him wanting to see more. When you finished cleaning the walls you moved to helping him with the floors, close enough so he could smell you and feel the heat radiating from you.

You saw as his head moved closer and all that could go through your mind was a green light. Standing up you walked away giving him a look over your shoulder before turning the corner. You could hear the sounds of his footsteps following after you.

When Ettore turned the corner he saw no one and was visibly confused. He noticed a door ajar the room inside pitch black. Stepping in he closed the door behind him. He could hear your breathing and knew you were inside. Blood rushed within him as he realized he was finally gonna get to feel a woman again after all this time.

But his hopes were crushed as he felt something prick his neck. he reached back grabbing you his hands wrapping around your neck but it was far too late as he felt his limbs weaken and was pulled off to sleep.

Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z ZZZ

When Ettore was slowly pulled out of his slumber he was still weak. His limbs felt heavy, and his eyelids felt taped shut. But there was one distinct feeling, one he knew well and loved.

He could feel someone's hands on his chest, their legs sitting on both sides of his torso, a repeated movement as the person lifted and lowered themselves on him.

He could hear their airy breaths, the panting and soft moans.

When he could finally open his eyes everything was blurry, the person above him a one big fuzz of colour. His eyes were glazed over and despite him feeling no pain anywhere they were filling with tears. Turning this woman above him into a beautiful painting of watercolours.

Is this what all those women he hurt felt like? Did they go through the same motions?

He tried to lift his arms only managing to twitch his fingers.

Did they feel this weak? This powerless?

He heard her laugh, a sinister laugh almost. As if mocking him for even trying to move or fight back.

"You know you like it." She whispered in his ears. the words making him gag. He had to say them himself. He would count how many times he had said that on his hands, but then again he only had two hands.

He managed to move his arms again. They slowly came up to her trying to push her off, to get shove her away. He liked being in control, he didn't enjoy this moment of fragility.

"Just give in. Don't fight it." He could feel the pleasure bubbling in his stomach, he hated it, hated how good it felt, hated how much joy he was getting from this sick act.

...Sick act? Is that what it was now that it was happening to him? A sick act?

He could hear how close you were, he could feel it too. His hips craved to buck up wanting to feel more, to be deeper. He managed to get his hands to move as they lazily rested on your waist. And once again you laughed at him taunting him about how much he was enjoying this. The way you clenched around him. And when you finally did cum he loved the sensations, his own release close after.

But he felt you get off of him. Watched as you moved to the side, a gentle hand touched his cheek.

"Please." It was barely a whisper, all he could muster to say.

"Don't worry. I have to paint a mural first." He wasn't sure why the words invoked fear in him but his body went into panic as he desperately willed himself to move, to scream.

You brought a blade to his stomach and you cut deep enough to gather blood into a bowl. The floor next to him is your canvas as you start your masterpiece.

He tried to crane his head to look but you shifted him back with a giggle.

"No peeking!"

He's not sure how much time was going by or if he was still bleeding. Eventually, he heard you stop moving as you muttered perfect. The door opens and closes, he's alone for a while before you finally come back and lean down next to him.

"What shall we do with you now....to kill you would mean risking getting myself in trouble...to leave you alive and well would mean risking you retaliating...choices choices."

You ran your fingers through his hair before a light bulb went off in your head.

The next hour was the most pain Ettore had ever gone through, and the most devastating moment of his life.

When he was finally found hours by Monte he couldn't help but throw up his lunch.

Ettore is on the floor naked, wings painted on both sides of him, below them the look of feathers falling, his body contoured with his own blood and the words above his head

"He flew too close to the sun."

And lastly...in his hands, he held his own penis.

He would end up telling Dibs he did it to himself, the embarrassment on his face evident. He couldn't admit to what happened to him. Couldnt bear to face the music. He wished for death some days, not being able to feel pleasure anymore had him seething.

But he did nothing, when he looked at you he was oddly terrified.

And every time he met your eyes and saw the smirk on your lips he knew what you were thinking about what happened

In the dark

A/N: YAY I FINISHED ANOTHER ONE!! So I'm not sure why my brain went in this direction but I actually liked it. Again sorry to the anon if this isn't what you wanted...I humbly apologize.

General Taglist (the only one 🤣🥲) @thought--bubble

[guxciestone]

— self-love. ❞

(pick a pile reading)

‎🕷️✧

‎

self-love and self-acceptance is very important. i hope you can take this reading very seriously and perhaps even find this accurate and learn some things about yourself. if you need any encouragement on why you deserved to be loved, check this post out! hopefully that helps. i hope you’re having a good day ♡

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‎ ‎

✧ pile 1 ✧

how do you see yourself?

- There’s this idea of seeing yourself as someone who cannot love others. You might be what others call a “commitaphobe”. You might struggle with intimacy or getting close to others because you believe it is too much work, or perhaps you are afraid of what comes with it and what the other person will think of you. You might think that you aren’t worth getting to know, and if anyone did then they’d be turned off . This goes from your friends to your family to even your romantic relationships. You might be the type to think that love isn’t for you, which is not true. You view yourself as someone who is only worthy of it for the short-term and nothing more. For some of you, you might be a player or you like to get around. There’s also this vibe of not respecting yourself and your own boundaries.

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why don’t you prioritize your own needs?

- You might be a huge people-pleaser. You serve to please others before yourself. You might be used to being around brash, abusive, controlling and arrogant individuals, so you are used to submitting to others. You could struggle with standing up for yourself at times too. I’m seeing a significant figure like a parent that could be an example of this in your life. There’s also attachment issues for a few of you, perhaps to this particular parent. Or even a particular partner. For some of you, you might be in a relationship where your boyfriend/girlfriend isn’t treating you with the utmost respect and could be very condescending and careless.

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how can you show yourself that you are worthy?

- You need to learn to listen to yourself. If your soul or body is telling you what you want, you give yourself what you want before you give anything to anybody else. Most importantly, you need to trust yourself and others. If you know someone is a good person and truly wants to care for you and get to know you, don’t push them away and be flighty. Listen to them and get to know them back. I’m also hearing take it slow if that is what makes you comfortable. I feel that most of you also struggle with overthinking things to the point where you self-sabotage yourself from good connections. Taking deep breaths, meditating, or even journaling can get your head in a good place before you make any serious decision.

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how can you be more authentic?

- For a certain group, you might be obsessed with materialism. You love nice things and you love feeling as though you have nice things. Who doesn’t? But you might be someone who likes to play an image of someone who has it all. I believe this is telling you to stop. You don’t need to have the nicest car, house, or clothes to be loved and admired by people. You are more than all of that. Show who you really are behind all of that. I’m sure you’re an amazing person. For others, you might struggle with truly committing to people because perhaps you have this idealized version of how intimacy and love should be. Love isn’t perfect, and you need to realize that. There’s going to be ups and downs. Stop running away at the slightest inconvenience, and you’ll be surprised how amazing love really is. Learn to be more comfortable expressing your emotions too. People around you probably think you’re nonchalant because you barely like showing how you feel. A few of you could also struggle with gambling too.

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what is something you need to let go of?

- You need to let go of your ego. That ego that stops you from experiencing true love and intimacy. You have this character of not needing love, not needing friends, not needing anyone—when in reality, we all need love. We are humans. We are social creatures. We thrive off of togetherness. You think that showing that you are capable of being on your own entirely will prove yourself to others, but it only pushes others away more and honestly it scares them. Truth is, this ego is only trying to hide fear. That fear of showing who you really are and possible being judged for it. There’s nothing to hide and prove. Just let go of that pride and let others in. Love is a gamble. When you open yourself up, you either get rejected or they’ll open themselves up to you, but I promise you it’s always worth it.

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what is something you need to acknowledge?

- You cannot avoid disasters. You cannot reverse troubles, problems, and hick-ups in your relationships. Again, love isn’t perfect. We aren’t perfect. Additionally, you definitely cannot have the good without the bad and vice versa. It’s okay if your friend or siblings talk to you about how you need to open up to them more. They just want to communicate with you so that your relationship with them can thrive. It doesn’t mean they hate your guts and don’t like you. Please stop climbing into your little hole when someone tries to communicate with you about an issue. I promise you the bad parts are always worth it for the good parts.

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a message from your spirit guides/higher self

- It’s time for you to step into a new chapter in your life where you are aware of the challenges, know what is out there for you in regards to connections, and be your authentic self. I feel you’ve always known all of this, you just struggled with taking that first leap into the unexpected. Again, life and love is a gamble. You’ll never know what you get, but the bad is always worth it for the good.

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✧ pile 2 ✧

how do you see yourself?

- You could see yourself as someone who is vulnerable. You might believe that you are a pushover and it’s easy for others to take advantage of you, which leads you to feeling pretty worthless and insecure. At the same time, you can be guarded. You are someone who is stubborn and always seem to have a chip on your shoulder towards people. You could struggle with letting go of the past or forgiving people. There’s this energy of feeling as though the world is against you or is out to get you. You are defensive about who you let see your natural self out of a fear of being taken advantage of or judged. There might be times where you are aware of how vulnerable you are and you try to stand up for yourself but it only comes out as extreme aggression. It feels like you are just trying to survive in the world where everyone is against you.

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why don’t you prioritize your own needs?

- For a group of you, you may have dealt with relationships in which you were always cheated, taken advantage of, betrayed, or embarrassed by someone. There’s a possibility of a toxic friendship or an abusive/tyrannical romantic partner. You are so used to this feeling of worthiness and having to stay in the shadow of the people you love, you aren’t comfortable with lifting yourself up and giving you what you want or need. You also seem to refuse to move on from these connections, and you have this belief that everyone you deal with will be this way with you. You’re stuck in the past which allows you to keep repeating these destructive patterns of depriving yourself of your needs.

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how can you show yourself you are worthy?

- Firstly, there needs to be a realization—you need to move on. You need to move on by forgiving the people who hurt you. Not for them, but for you to carry on with your life. It’s going to be difficult. It’s going to take some uncomfortable moments and a reconciliation with your past, but it’ll be worth it. You need to accept that this is your past. It’s not going to determine your future and the people you meet at all. I also feel you need to cry. There’s so much built-up emotion from the pain you’ve consumed. All of this sadness and betrayal turned into anger towards anyone and everyone you know, and you need to release it. Signing into therapy, journaling, or self-soothing meditations could help.

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how can you be more authentic?

- You are familiar with thinking of the past, but it is more important to think of the present and future. Think of who you are now after moving on, and think about who you want to become in the future. All the way up to now, you’ve been lacking in personal development and progress due to focusing on what already happened. It’s time to set goals for yourself in regards to your self-love, career, and true connections to see what life holds for you. It’s time to stop pitying and find what truly makes you happy and satisfied.

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what is something you need to let go?

- You need to let go of your personal ideologies you’ve made about people over time. Not everyone is a bad person, and not everyone is someone that is to not be trusted. It is time to let new people have a chance to see into your world. I’m also hearing that if there is someone or some people in your life right now who are trying to becoming your friends, you should let them. They’ll introduce you to a spontaneous world you’ve never been in before. You might go to parties, bars, and be more social often.

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what is something you need to acknowledge?

- You need to acknowledge that your life turns in the favor of your thoughts. If you believe in the positive and abundant, then that is what it’ll be. You are not a burden or a curse to this world. You deserve happiness, peace, and love just like anyone else. You’ll soon see that your outer world will change according to your self-image. Good people are going to start coming into your life.

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messages from your spirit guides/higher self

- There’s one distinct person who you need to cut off from your life completely. It could be someone you refuse to let go of, and you might know you need to do so. There’s this promise that if you do, your life will improve much more. This could be a masculine figure—a father figure, friend, or someone you are romantically involved with. They seem like someone who serves no purpose in your life and are just dead weight. They could also place unnecessary burdens on you.

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✧ pile 3 ✧

how do you see yourself?

- You could see yourself as someone who needs to be saved or need to be swept off of their own feet. You have this victim mentality occurring. You could feel that you aren’t as fortunate as most people. Perhaps you are in the working class or a part of a minority. There’s this feeling of having the burden of struggling and waiting for someone to come help you. You also kind of feel left out in the cold. This perception of yourself could make you someone who is incredibly hardworking but yet has this pitiful mentality of “I’ve been through the worst and I’m used to the worst.”

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why don’t you prioritize your own needs?

- You don’t prioritize your own needs because you are too in your head about things. When you are overthinking, you subtly discourage yourself from taking care of yourself because you feel it’s not worth it due to your status or whatever societal construct you feel is holding you back. For some of you, there could be some underlying insecurities regarding your race, gender, or social class. You are also someone who take things very seriously. You are someone who is always on the defense and ready to attack anyone who you feel threatened by.

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how can you show yourself that you are worthy?

- There’s this utter bitterness I feel coming from you—bitterness towards the people who you feel have an advantage over you. I would love to tell you right now that you cannot fight hate with hate, it only makes the situation worse. I’m hearing “balance” and “fairness”. You need to respect others, at least the people who haven’t shown any source of animosity towards you. You also get a bit unmotivated when you are looking at others prosper. You should learn to encourage others in order to encourage yourself. Lifting up others makes you feel ten times better about yourself. Looking at others, especially the people you love, prosper will encourage you to do better. There’s also no need to be defensive at times. I’m getting that being less defensive and accepting will bring in new people in your life who will give you opportunities to go after your goals.

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how can you be more authentic?

- You have this strong desire to “go against the grain” all the time. I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to do that anymore. It is okay if you happen to want to do something that others happen to criticize others for, that’s you. Striving to oppose everyone just to stand out or prove a point gets stressful after a while. Do what you want without your socially constructed ego getting in the way of it.

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what is something you need to let go of?

- There might be particular goal you have in mind that you truly don’t want to follow through with. Your ego is what is making you go after this goal. You need to let go of that goal because that isn’t what you really desire. If this is a particular career that was forced upon you by your parents or society, most definitely drop it. Follow your true passions. I’m also feeling that you need to quit your current job for some reason.

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what is something you need to acknowledge?

- You need to acknowledge that the world isn’t fair at times. Sometimes you won’t get what you exactly want because society has made it to where not everything is made for us. However, create with what you have. Make the best out of what you have, and you are guaranteed success and happiness.

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messages from spirit guides/higher self

- It is important to stop putting yourself down. You’re much more than what people say you are. I’m hearing that you know yourself better than anyone, and you know you are more. Take the time to cry. But don’t cry for long, because I feel you might have a tendency to fall deeper into the pit when you sulk too much in your emotions.

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‎✧ pile 4 ✧

how do you see yourself?

- There’s a sense of confusion in how you view yourself. Perhaps that most of you struggle with your identity and knowing who you are as a person. There could be the possibility that a lot of you use other’s perceptions of you to define who you are, which isn’t healthy. You could be the type of person who receives judgment from others and takes it to heart. You don’t take criticism easily, you’re very sensitive too (there is nothing wrong with that, by the way. please don’t bash yourself for having feelings) You don’t have a clear sense of self-identity, hence you don’t have a clear sense of self-worth. You could be someone who is also a bit selfless too, but in a detrimental way. You could be used to others having the attention and appreciation. You might be the type to avoid being in the spotlight due to the fear of being judged or being perceived as selfish. You are an incredibly humble person though, but it’s okay to shine once in a while. You could also see yourself as someone who is a bit chaotic and all-over-the-place. Your might be confused about a lot of things about yourself—like what you want, what are your goals, etc.

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why don’t you prioritize your own needs?

- You do not prioritize your own needs because there is a fear of feeling selfish. You believe that putting yourself over others means you are careless and reckless, which is not true. It is okay to look after yourself. You’re here to survive and live the best life possible for yourself, of course you’re in the center of your own world. You could be easy to control and manipulated into doing the opposite of what you should. Perhaps you have friends who persuade you to help them with their problems instead of the other way around for example. I’m also getting the vibe of someone in this pile being in a relationship or connection with someone where they are being handled like they cannot make decisions for themselves. It seems to me you need to take back control of your life in some way, in some area of your life. For some of you, it could be a career; for the other group of you, your identity and ability to make your own choices.

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how can you show yourself that you are worthy?

- You can show yourself that you are worthy by appreciating yourself more, and letting others appreciate you more. It is okay for the attention or spotlight to be on you. If there is something you feel there is worth congratulating for, then best believe it is. Let everyone see you for a minute, let yourself see you for a minute and clap for yourself. This will also help with self-confidence. I’m also feeling you should try to invest in new hobbies. Find what makes you happy. I feel you are so used to dealing with others, you don’t spend time to learn more about yourself. This is the time. Go out to the park, buy a new pet, or start creating art. Have fun and get to know yourself more through your interests.

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how can you be more authentic?

- You can be more authentic by taking more risks and truly going after what you want unapologetically. You might have certain goals you’ve always wanted to accomplish but self-sabotage or insecure thinking may gotten in your way. Most of the things you want to do have been halted due to your unsure mindset. In order to truly know what it is you want to do, you need to stop thinking, go for it, and take that risk instead. I’m also getting that some of you want to travel or start a business venture. I suggest you go for it and don’t think twice.

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what is something you need to let go of?

- You need to let go of this constant need of serving others. I understand you’re humble and giving, which is great. However, sometimes it can be a bit exhausting considering the fact that you are going to need to serve yourself at the same time too. Once again, it is okay to focus on and provide for yourself once in a while. There’s no need to feel shame for that whatsoever. You are not meant to serve others like a maid or slave, you’re a human being who deserves comfort and security just as much as anyone else. Believe it.

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what is something you need to acknowledge?

- You need to acknowledge that you are not inherently “better” than others just because you are selfless and giving towards others. You might have a tendency of looking at people who have a good sense of self as individuals who don’t care about others when in reality you are too invested in others to know that you should be caring for yourself as well. You need to acknowledge that there is nothing wrong with focusing on yourself just as much as there is nothing wrong with caring for others. There can be a balance. It seems to me that you feel this way about these types of people because you are rather envious of the fact that they can shamelessly check up in themselves while you can’t, and also the feeling that being selfless is the “right” thing to be. Both sides can good or bad in their way.

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messages from your spirit guides/higher selves

- There seems to be financial or mental hardships in your life right now. Your guides or higher self is calling for you to pay attention to this. This matters the most right now. It’s time for you to take the attention away from others and focus on getting what is tearing down built back up again. Some of you could have lost a job or could be going through a depressive season right now. It is okay to seek a financial advisor or a therapist too. It is okay to talk to others about your issues. Make sure it is people you can trust and confide in, people who won’t take advantage of your insecurities.

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[itsallpoliticsstupid]

It looks like Misha got quite a bit of hate for him saying Biden needs to step down. Thing is I don't disagree with him, but I do sort of disagree with the methods that are being used by celebrities as it looks like people bullying an old man into resigning his position. (N.B. I know I've said he needs to resign several times, but I have like 6 followers *hi there*, and I don't think anybody really pays too much attention to my little blog. Compared to Misha's 2.7m followers, which gets way more traction)

That said, I wanted to give a bit of a perspective of what I am currently seeing with BIden because it is extremely distressing. Not from a Political point of view, but from a personal point of view. And I also hope it will help to defend Misha in doing this. Because there is nothing in that tweet I disagree with, even if I don't like how it's being done.

I have a very minor medical condition that is easily treatable through injections. But, whilst it is minor, there are very major implications of not getting it treated. One such implication is a collapse of my nervous system and an altering of my brain. I'm only in my 30s, but my brain is essentially in early stages of dementia and I have, if I'm lucky, around 15 good years left.

When I first started experiencing symptoms. I ignored them. I had just started a new job and I was determined that my illness wouldn't impact it. I started to feel tired all the time, I had limited energy and slept basically all the time. However, I put it down to the 5 hour commute, and believed it would get better as time went on.

My symptoms escalated, including issues with my mental health and short term memory loss. I forgot really simple things, like what a spoon was and what I had done literally minutes earlier. It was bad. I also had physical problems, such as a failing eyesight, shaking, muscle weaknesses and imbalances. Still, I persisted in telling everybody I was fine.

Spoiler alert. I wasn't.

I was receiving hospital tests for another illness unrelated to the brain issues, and it was here I received a blood test to see whether my B12 and MMA levels were okay. And they weren't. I had been suffering pernicious anemia and that was the cause of my neurological problems was that. I received a booster of B12 injections, and I'm on it for the rest of my life. Unfortunately due to the length of time without B12, I will never fully recover from my neurological issues, but it's manageable.

My point in all this is, Joe Biden needs to be encouraged to step down by those around him. Because what I experienced I am seeing happen to him. A man who is struggling neurologically, but is physically incapable of accepting it. And it's unfair on him to continue in this way.

I'm concerned that more hadn't been done earlier to step in and help him. But, hopefully, there will be change coming.