#hopefully this doesnt exist yet

[aurathsmind]

book/tv show pitch a brother and sister from victorian-era england find a time travel device and get transported to modern day new york, they meet 2 modern people and they discover what the future is like, one of the siblings is desperate to get home and has a hard time adjusting and the other becomes obsessed with changing to fit the time and adapt into the future and at the end they decide to separate because the latter doesn't want to go back to their old life

[lightfulonion]

hii @pierogish-side!!! thank you for tagging me!! <3

Last song: This could be us by Rae Sremmurd

Favorite color: mmm really feeling brown rn

Currently watching: OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH WOOHOO!! its so fun (everyone is going through it)

Last movie: The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar dir. Wes Anderson

Currently reading: im currently studying for uni so im stuck at Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett and The Course of Love by Alain de Botton :(

Sweet/spicy/savory: sweet forever and always

Relationship status: uhhh im dying and rebirthing from my ashes 👍

Current obsession: .....kiribaku..... im back at it again OTZ

Last things I googled: wes anderson (so i could find out what the above movie was called lmao), werewolf (singular), boku no hero academia wiki episodes (this is a call for help)

Currently working on: im in my last year of uni (lmao pierogish... 😭) and i need to finish it so im studying really hard!!! (and trying to not give up) but itll probably be a while until i get my degree. also i bought an old polaroid from a thrift shop and im thinking of making it work

tagging: @skijjiki, @livingonyoghurtandspite,@peachybeesplease, @horson, @mars-matrix

[talkorsomething]

genuinely tried to Be Asleep for like two hours this time and just couldn't. I think i'm cursed [unwell]

[meo-eiru]

Hi hiiiiii!!! I just wanna say i love ur oc’s so much, they live rent free inside my head like a growing necrosis!! Ever since u dropped the character trivias for Lavi and Elias I cant stop thinking about an AU with the game Catherine for Elias and Lavi but like with a lil twist to itt (the twist being i cant properly remember the entire plot to Catherine, its been like a decade since i played it so i tweaked so much of the actual storyline to better fit the narrativeT-T) feel free to delete it if its too weird;;

TW: cheating, pregnancy, reader/mc is pregnant, ooc Lavi im sorry, Elias having a reasonable crashout, yandere behaviour, continuous affair, reader/Mc cheats, character death(?), misuse of commas and my terrible grammar really

—

Okay so Imagine this, whilst drinking out one day, trying to drown out the midlife crisis and potential worries about the future, you end up having a drunken one night stand with Lavi, this one night stand however snowballs into an affair as you end up sleeping with Lavi AGAIN.

You’re pregnant, and you’ve been in a relationship with Elias for 5 years, Elias is absolutely ECSTATIC to find out that you’re pregnant, and is even considering marrying you if you agree to it (you have no choice in the matter btw lol), so in order to plan for the baby (and wedding), Elias has been taking more and more modeling jobs to hopefully save enough for your future together.

This would’ve been a happy ending for both parties if you actually KNEW who the father was. Youve been rethinking your entire relationship with Elias for a while and whilst its good to feel loved and appreciated just for existing, Elias’ is just… he’s too much sometimes— well most times tbh.

Elias would kill you both, but he hasn’t suspected anything yet, and you plan to keep it that way because you’re thinking of ending things with Elias by the end of the month anyway,

until you can’t.

And you find yourself puking every morning, a worried Elias by your side at every step of the way, loving, understanding (?), pulling your hair back and dabbing away sweat from your face as you stay hunched over the toilet seat, and the guilt smashes into you like a truck, its debilitating—Elias loves you so much, cares for you (too) so much. The guilt should have set in sooner, you should be groveling at his feet begging for forgiveness, but you dont, instead you stay, and the affair continues, even when you don’t remember spending the night with Lavi (where they even at the bar last night?). Even when the test shows two lines. Even when Elias starts doing more work to provide for the two of you.

Maybe it’s guilt, maybe its your consciousness telling you you need to leave, to not subject Elias to a life chained up to someone who doesnt love them enough to stay faithful.

You end up having these weird nightmares where you have to fight for your life trying to escape a hellish landscape. You survive each night but always seem to end up waking up to Lavi on your bedside (you haven’t been outside, Elias hasn’t allowed you to go to work since the pregnancy test, you don’t remember telling Lavi your address either)

But one night, when you wake up from another nightmare, crying, shivering, Elias and Lavi nowhere in sight.

Impulsively, you end up calling Elias and tell him about the affair, how you don’t know who the father of the child is, how you’re sorry and how terrible you are and how it would be better if you just break up.

and as expected, he breaks down. asking you, demanding answers, crying, screaming, shouting, asking if you actually loved him, asking if the child is actually his, asking you why he wasn’t enough, how he knew you were acting weird, asking which fucker he has to kill to make everything work out. its guttural, the way he screams, shouts for answers.

You end up dropping the call. And Elias immediately spams your phone with missed calls until you end up blocking his number.

He’s coming for you, you know he will. And he does, not even an hour later, banging on the door. You worry about your neighbours hearing about all of this commotion, its 11pm, he should’ve been at home but he was still at work, should’ve spent this time relaxing and watching tv shows with you at saturday night, but instead he was still at work, working to support the both of you (even if a big part of you knew it wouldn’t have stopped him from coming anyway)

He’s banging on the door, and you have half a mind to grab the knife at the sink. He stops after what felt like an eternity, only to forcefully barge his way in by using his body to slam the door open.

Elias makes his way inside, immediately grabbing you by the shoulders, eyes red with tears as he looks at you with the most painstakingly hurt expression you’ve ever seen (you’ve seen it countless times before, but only this time its different, it’s it scarier, it feels like he might actually hurt you)

His eyes grows into slits, as you feel another arm snake behind you.

It’s Lavi.

You are so fucked.

Elias ends up lunging at Lavi, screaming, intent to kill, to get rid of the vermin homewrecker that ruined (whatever was left of) your relationship.

Lavi fights back, albeit without mentally damaging Elias in the process as he talks about how much time he spends with you, how he planned on taking you with him secretly behind his back, how the child is actually his and how he intends to take full accountability for it.

You watch as Elias screams reaching for something in the sink only for Lavi to laugh at him, taunting him, waving the knife in his hand hautily, simpering with a glint of malice in his eyes “Looking for this?”

You’re about as useful in this situation as a screen door to a submarine. And you know its in vain, but you scream at both of them to stop anyway. Crying as you fall to your feet, you feel like puking.

Elias freezes, breath hitching as he turns to you before the expression on his face falters, angered as Lavi continues, telling him that “he’s the reason you’re having such a hard time right now”, “how he has no business being a father when all he does is hurt you”.

Everything falls into a blur as the fighting continues,

it feels like forever but it does stop, and you hear someone slump on the floor.

and you find Elias on the floor, with the knife plunged into Lavi’s stomach.

——

I had to write it out the brainrot was killing me, had to write it out until the brain rot unrotted itself.

I do know i couldve done this darker and better but i cant write anymore i feel so rustyT-T if you see “them” instead “you” its because i originally wrote this with “Mc” and using “they/them” before changing it to explicit xreader

Rereading my writing realising it is so tellenovella coded oof

Holy shit anon I don't know how you did it but this might just be the most hellish possible scenario known to mankind. I'd honestly just end it right then and there, there's no getting out of this bermuda triangle ass dynamic we got going on here.

Like Lavi and Elias being in the same universe is already horrible, them liking the same person is even worse but darling CHEATING on one of them with the other??? I would just

[startagainaprologue]

Odile wakes up in a shop once more, and screams.

Her body, as usual, ignores her desires and continues to browse despite odile knowing the familytale is not here, and most likely doesn’t exist.

Odile doesnt know what happened, but one moment she was on her way to reunite Bonniface with their sister, snd the next they were trapped in this mockery of herself, in a universe that seems so reductive it hurts. They use terms that make no sense, and insults about said terms that make no sense based on her understanding.

Worse yet, she seems to be stuck in a version of siffrin’s loop, though they seem unaware (hopefully, sweet gems she hopes)

speaking of, here comes this abomination of a siffrin, wearing garish shades and an insulting shirt that her body seems to find humerous.

time passes, and they arrive at the clocktower to find Bonniface alone. This is by far odiles greatest relief and greatest horror: Bon remembers the loops, and seems to be her own Bonniface. They have tried throughout various loops to talk to you and the others, yet you find yourself unable to respond, to grab them and hold them and apologize for the hurtful thing you said dear god you’ve made Bonniface cry so much you feel dick you feel angry you wish to tear whatever did this into shreds so small-

Yes, it is safe to say Odile has mixed feelings, and she cannot do anything about it.

jesus christ how did you make it even more of a horror scenario. christ. stares on in horror is this the life all of the party is forced to live

[morganafayes]

morganafayes bbc merlin fic rec list <3

hiiii here is a tiny little fic rec list i made for fun of some of my personal underrated faves in the fandom!! i've tried to avoid stuff that's already pretty well known + have a decent balance so hopefully yall might find some new stuff you haven't seen in here :)

the witch and the queen - toxic morgwen slay <3 very short!

in our quiet hour - i mean just read everything by lupinely. its all so good. its everything. they have never missed. id recommend 'castled' by them too... insane merthur fic. their dynamic is perfectly written. also their gwen character study mwah

heir - gen, arthur & merlin. genuinely have never once stopped thinking about this since i read it and it makes me sick :/

off the deep end - now THIS. this is good shit. toxic merthur modern au where they are exes and hate each other and hurt each other. finally someone who gets their specific brand of codependent toxicity. bbc merlin modern aus peaked here i dont care

swan down - nimueh ficlet about her relationship with arthur. gave me many brainworms............ please read it. its very short and it will make u crazy.

this graveyard - ok i havent finished reading this yet bc its like 10k. but its morgana/gwen and a rewrite of the whole dark tower thing which as you all know is the bane of my existence. society if the the writers had actually written that episode well etc etc.

i hear deserts heal your history - THEEEEE fic of all time. genuinely i have never stopped thinking about this fic ever. i have such complicated feelings on it. it makes me want to die and throw myself off a cliff at the same time. this is the morgana centric fic of all time genuinely she is done SUCH justice here oh my god but also. everyone is very mean to merlin. my poor guy..... :( in terms of morgana fics though. a must read <3 also great exploration of the mergana dynamic. reading this was truly where my mergana crusade started btw. also read their other morgana fic its absolutely fantastic (i havent finished it either though because im slow asf...)

living for the hope of it all - mercelot warriors come get your heartwrenching angst <3 i have more mercelot fics to rec if people want. i hate them and i love them

ouroboros - merlin/morgana. insane freaks at it again. my fave victims of lavender divorce

drawing lines - gwen character study which i <3.

the chakra of merlin - okkk this is a strange one. it feels almost semi incomplete because although it does. end. it doesnt really. its most interesting for its sci fi elements + character exploration which i find really interesting and well done. merlin is truly unhinged here in the worst ways. when is he not though

the huntress' heart - mithian/gwen slay!

tongue tied - yeah its another truth spell merthur fic... what can i say im basic. its very good though!

dragons! - morgana/gwen. super short and cute <333

[quiteliterallyilliterate]

I legit just see you randomly on my feed and your writing was really good and I thought why not? Since requests are open, may I request for yandere skyward sword link with goddess reader? Reader can either replace Zelda herself or is a whole other goddess that doesnt even belong or own Hyrule. Id love to see what else you have in store here!

Order up!

Sorry it’s been a while! I’ve been dealing with a lot these past two weeks but hopefully life will improve (?) Love this concept and there’s a mention of @monpalace’s idea with Skyloftians using shed loftwing feathers to propose. Not proofread, I am sorry, this took wayyyy too. Much like Link, i am eepy. That’s about all!

Hope you enjoy!~

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

There was little refuge for Link on the surface, that much he knew. That much the world made incredibly apparent. Aside from what little lands like that of the kikwi or the ancient temple, there was little non-hostile life. The sun was fading from the sky, Hylia’s light fading from the surface land, letting monsters run rampant across the untamed earth. Not a particularly pleasant situation given the stab wound he’d nursed, limping through the forest as he tried to find a way home. With no statues in sight, he resigned himself to his fate —alone within an unkind world. Not that it’s a first that he’s felt such a manner, everyone knew everyone in Skyloft, his business was never truly his. And with Groose and his goons taunting him for his every breath, there wasn’t much to say for company. He could be surrounded by people, and yet he was —to some level— still alone. That was, aside from Zelda, missing among this realm. There was some small, nagging part of him that wish he needn’t search for her. Sure, he valued her companionship, and yet… it’s been odd lately. Originally he kept from the sky to be with her once more. But now knowing he was a piece in a prophecy —one she knew, no less— he couldn’t help but question the authenticity of their friendship. He feels wrong about it to question. The hylian people serve Hylia, he should be grateful that he’s been sent on a mission she foretold. He should be so many things. It just seems added onto the pile of things he should be. More outgoing, Zelda would say after he’d share his difficulty with speaking to his peers. Less pathetic, Groose and his lackeys would sneer. Dead, He’d often think, looking at the bags under his eyes and tousled hair. So it seemed irrelevant that Hylia wished he’d be heroic. The small decaying temple looked surprisingly stable from the inside. Vines and mosses grew into the cracks within the marble, nature filling in where people could no longer support. The door was easily blocked and the main area was large enough to safely light a fire without smoking himself out. Above a plinth stood a statue, sharp imposing eyes glaring at whomever entered with judgement. Their face was alight with the golds of the fire, setting in the allure within his mind. Looking down past stone ceremonial robes were offerings, placed at their feet, still fresh despite the centuries since any people lived down here. A deity, he noticed a little too late. Perhaps it was sacreligious of him to stay here, the Hero of Hylia taking refuge in a different god’s home. But perhaps that kingdom has since crumbled, their blades too rusted to do him any harm. The blood seeping through his tunic was the least of his concerns as sleep pulled him in familiar as ever.

Link liked to sleep. It was safe and warm, something quite the contrast to the life he’d led. He wished many times both before his journey and since its onset that he could stay asleep forever. It’d be a blessing, to exist in such a state of peaceful serenity outside of a world defined by its wars. And yet, morning after morning, he’d awake to soft sunlight or be shoved out of his bed. Hylia did not wait on him. So waking up to fingers carding softly through his hair as a lullaby —one his memories could just barely grasp at— was a sharp contrast. He felt no pain in his stomach nor the jolt of adrenaline he was used to. Turning around sleepily, he saw you, the very deity he seeked refuge under. He scrambled to apologize, your sharp eyes looking down upon him as he lay strewn across your body.

“I’m- Oh- I-“ He could not, for whatever reason, speak. Much a common theme in his life that whenever he needed his words, they’d fly away faster than a loftwing. Strong arms tightened around him, shushes and soothes whispered to his pointed ears.

“Be at ease. Your goddess cannot find you here” The fingers resumed carding through his hair, twirling the uneven cuts. “You are safe, little hero” Your words bled with a care and endearment he had not been given in so long. His mind latched to you, to your care and your soft treatment of him. He let himself rest limply, telling himself that it would pass soon. Nothing ever stays this good for this long. And yet, there were no monsters to kick in the door or someone waiting on him. There was just you and him. And no other God watching. “She’s put you through so much.” Your statement hangs in the air as Link can’t find the words that dignify a response. “To wander in here bleeding as badly as you were.” His eyes widen and he does his best to pat his tunic, feeling for the blood. And yet there was none. Aside from the rip in the forest fabric, there was no signs of him ever being injured.

“What?” His brows furrowed and he found himself looking up to you. Your skin held an inhuman glint, a glow to it that needed no sun nor fire to illuminate. Your hunter’s eyes had no iris, a scalara of pure white looking back at him. Your lips here pulled to something of a mischievous smirk as you looked upon him.

“I fixed you.” Your tone was a little uncanny, voice unused to conversing. “I used to do it frequently for the before people” He felt his eyes widen marginally. He’d never heard of the ‘before people’ only if what came after them. He knew naught of their societies, nor their deities. You giggled at his curiosity, pressing lightly on his shoulders so he’d lay back down. “It’s been so long since i’ve had such lovely visitors” Your voice was a far off cry in his mind as he buried his face in the nape of your neck. There was no rushing of blood to lull his own rushing mind, and yet you soothed him all the same. “Rest now, little Hero. I will watch the world in your stead.

There were many times afterwards that he visited you. He’d put a beacon near the clearing where your quiet temple sat. Gone was the comfort of absence that came with sleep, that nullifying expanse of nothingness. Instead, he’d seek out you, the glow of your grace soothing the rage he now brought upon the world. At your Altar he’d leave gifts, anything you’d mentioned in passing or anything he knew must’ve been good. You’d offhandedly speak of how much you missed the ancient cistern, and he’d bring you its water. He’d gather the fruit of the Faron woods, making into pies and jam and alcohol for you to feed off of. It wasn’t often, but he’d occasionally get you blood or meat. Not common, he didn’t want to raise concerns, but he knew the spirits would strengthen you. You may have only had a one man clergy, but he was loyal to a fault. He cleared the surface of monsters so you could roam freely, basking in the moonlight as your fingers brushed the grass. His favorite gift to you came in the form of a plume of crimson feathers. You were quite oblivious to the meaning behind the exchange, instead cooing over the bright colors and imagining the majesty of the bird it came from. But he knew that maybe then the other half of his spirit —as the people said— would mingle with your own to care for you as much as you did him. Bound to you perhaps by fate and now with the matrimony of his gift to you, no longer would you lay forgotten to the world. He’d build an empire in your honor if it would be your wish. He’d kill the goddess who subdued you if it were your ruling. Afterall, he was prophesied to kill a deity.

[kurishiri]

i see that you're playing the JP server and do the translation by yourself, would you mind to describe Alfons's personality? I got understand he's a cat-like-person, but sometimes i couldn't grasp his personality pretty well

anyway, thankyou for your hardwork 🥰 i really love your tranlastions hehe

hii anon! first of all ty for reading my tls 🥺🫶 it rly means a lot to hear. i find it also can be a way to bring over paid content to those who may not be inclined to pay for it…i kinda feel its my way of contributing smth to the community a bit ig haha.

but as for als personality…hmm i kind of opted to go with an approach where i sorta write down my streamline thoughts as i go. so theres not much organization, but hopefully it can give a bit more insight, or smth to think abt! i will put under the cut, as there may be some minor spoilers below.

alfons mini essay ↓

i think he is sort of like a walking contradiction. he does things in the pursuit of his own pleasure, yet his actions always save others who r struggling. he wants to create distance and acts like he doesnt care, and yet he is deeply sensitive. he has no will to live, yet can’t bear to leave others alone. he pushes his views and philosophy onto others, yet he tries to be considerate…perhaps by doing exactly that.

he cant bear the pain, yet if anyone got hurt, he would rather it be himself than anyone else.

he is a hedonist, pursuing things that r pleasurable to himself. he has promiscuous relations with his “friends,” plays around at night, casts illusions within the slums, and drinks away the day and night. he likes fun, thrilling, dangerous games, and his sense of humor stems from his contradictions. but is he really doing all this for himself? to him, escapism is an essential part of life bc life is nothing but a tragedy. if you dont indulge in these pleasures, life will someday crush you. he himself learned tht the hard way and thats maybe why he is quite sensitive to others pain and suffering and wants to relieve them of it. (this is evident from elbie and als first meeting!)

he does it in a way where he can distance himself due to the nature of his curse. again, it all stems back to the mindset of “getting close to them will only hurt them more in the end” bc they will end up forgetting he had ever existed…but he understood and empathized what elbie was going through, and that was why he had stayed with him all these yrs. and even with liam, though he never really meddles deeply, he was able to observe how, when liam needed an illusion, he himself was never in them. in other words, a convenient illusion to liam was one where he was not in this world. and with kate, he knew that she was scared, so thats why he “kept her company” so to speak. but in the end, he cant save himself. he cant forget what he wants to forget, even though he can help others forget their pain, so he is also self-deprecating in that sense.

but, rly, if you stripped away all the outer lyrs, the complications due to his curse and his trauma, at his core he is a very kind and selfless person i believe.

so kind, so selfless, it borders on self-destruction.

[downfall0fman]

what are your thoughts on born again?

My first ask!!! Thoughts on the first two episodes of Daredevil Born Again, spoilers ahead‼️

*deep breath* Okay so

Short answer: I am really enjoying it so far! I’ve only been a full fledged Daredevil fan since November (Ive always loved the concept of Daredevil. I started watching the show after I saw the D23 trailer online and remembered the original show existed and, no joke, binged it all in four days HAHA) so I know my opinion will be made differently than people who have been here since 2015, but its been a great time! I will miss the amount of colored lights that they had in all of the Defenders shows though 😔

Long winded yap answer: I think, and I believe other people should at least hold space for this too, it is crazy to judge the entirety of the future of Daredevil in the MCU and say “we are not back” “they should have never brought this back” “this is so bad I refuse to accept this as canon” based on two episodes. I’ve heard people say that they completely removed Karen and act like she is never coming back because she wasnt in the second episode (to be fair that is half of the show-) like of course shes coming back, Franks in the trailers and she has to go get her man! (If we dont get Kastle canon, which its unlikely we wont, I will throw a fit online) I heard someone say the character arcs in Born Again are one dimensional while they were large and complex in the original, like girl there hasn’t even been enough time to arc like come on be real

Now saying that I definitely can understand when people say they should’ve given us at least half an episode worth of N, M, & P before fridging Foggy. I feel like we never got to see them, we never got Nelson Murdock and Page as a business at all. I would’ve enjoyed at least pretending that the show was happy for a second (also from what I’ve been hearing its a side effect of the change in directors, still it does leave you wanting). I also agree what people have been saying about the CGI (someone more knowledgeable on the why can comment on that aspect) and the fact that Marci should’ve absolutely been in Born Again, but I have yet hope for the future!

Many things to look forward to! Kastle kiss HOPEFULLY, more Fisk couples consoling, I have been keeping blind to as much of anything about Muse as I possibly can because he sounds so SICK and I have a feeling he might become my favorite Daredevil villain based on vibes alone, I really like Heather and I hope she doesnt hang herself! Look forward to crying my eyes out when Matt and Foggy reunite after Matt finds out hes in witness protection, I look forward to Karen putting herself into even more danger, the Frank and Dex fight you KNOW is going to go hard as fuck, Frank beating on cops, Frank

Oh dont get me started on cameos/reoccurring characters. I cannot state how much I NEED Brett Mahoney and Turk Barrett. Seeing the Defenders again would be so cool or seeing Claire Temple or Maggie!! Some reference to Lantom would break me I think. Those are only the characters that I think it would be realistic to see again, but I have my own personal list of unrealistic hopes (like the coffee they all had in the Defenders shows, they all had the same to-go cups, bring back that one coffee place- is that Beckys Diner?? Is that it!?!) Theres a whole lot to be excited about!!

…did I mention getting a Kastle kiss yet, I look forward to a Kastle kiss I really want Frank Castle and Karen Page to finally kiss pLEASSE GOD (or Kevin Feige) LET THEM BECOME CANON I COULDNT BEG MORE

[bruiisedfawn]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧ im super anxious and im going to take the train to my sister's to stay there and take care of our dog while they wont be home. and bc of my general mental state lately im ridiculously anxious so i'll just use my blog as a comfort blanket and write updates to help me stay grounded (: ୨୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

update 1: i made it to the bus stop but the bus i was gonna take was early so i missed it :) then the next bus is a bit later so now im worried that i'll miss my train :D see the problem with being chill or even trying to plan so that u can soothe your anxiety is that the rest of the world never cooperates. like why cant the busses just go when they say they'll go 😭 anyway trying to chill bc if i get stuck at the train station waiting for the next train for over an hour that's just what will happen...

update 2: on the bus.. talked to my mom for a little bit so i was distracted but now im super anxious again... i cant do anything other than hope i make it in time for the train T-T 🤞🏻

update 3: i made it to the train and im on it now!!! there are a looooot of ppl. way more than it's been when i've gone before. but it is only 1,5hrs so i can endure it... im glad i didnt miss it tho. i've already bought and activated my ticket so im really hoping im on the right train lol. even if im anxious in the way i double check like a 100 times im still like oops what if im on the wrong train. plus trail tracks. they said it isnt going to where im going but then they said it is. all of this is too confusing to me i wanna cryyy. im gonna try asking the ticket person when they get to me... ohh i hope there are no issues i already wanna cry

update 4: i've arrived and everything went fine. i have done my grocery shopping for the next few days and hopefully i havent forgotten anything. i already realised i forgot to buy these specific blister bandaids uh oh. well it's already too late now. i'll just have to hope i wont need them. but omg the weather gets warmer so fast im so warm </33 anyway now im just waiting for the bus that'll take me to where my sister lives sksksk 👍🏻

update 5: im at my sister's now! i had some time to talk to my mom and sister before they left and im now alone with our dog. he's so cute and im cryinggg bc he is real!!! he doesnt only exist in my memory and in my photo gallery. he is here!!! 😭 so yeah im watching youtube and calming down, i have a slight headache but hopefully it wont get worse. even if i've been anxious i havent felt my heart racing or a ridiculous amount of tension in my shoulders and neck (i still have it but not in the way that my shoulders are literally by my ears lol). bc yeah i think a lot of my headaches come from high blood pressure and stress etc. ugh i just hate having an anxiety brain bc everything went fine. it is not that big of a deal. yet im so anxious everything is a whole ordeal. it's so exhausting. but now i'll just take some time to calm down and i'll pet my dog and breathe and get settled in :3

(the view of the sky and water from the train was pretty)

[alienjoyer]

can yuo share more vampire mumbo-jumbo things about your oc guy

giggles hehe yeah :3

this was originally going to be part of an enormous elijah masterpost but i think dividing it into 2 posts, a later elijah-specific post (that i will hopefully remember to edit a link into here when i post it), and this speculative biology post, is a far better idea. so have my vampire biology. it’s long. the cut is needed

elijah is my canvas for this worldbuilding so when i talk about him it’s teaching by example.

vampire claws are somewhere between michael the distortion and netflix castlevania… extendo fingernails but theyre claws. evolutionary purpose: defense against other vampires. bone nestled within bone, think 3d printed collapsable swords. that scene with alucard scratching the runes into the mirror. but it’s his fingers.

shapeshifting into an animal is possible but most vampires dont know that, it doesnt come naturally. eli took 300 years to figure out he could turn into a raven/crow (uncanny valley! he turns into neither actually, but only the discerning eye can really recognise that).

sunlight feels like standing in front of an open oven. it’s not fun, but it is survivable. can be avoided with hooded cloaks, hats, long sleeves, also this effect lessens with age. by the modern era eli will still avoid the middle of the day if it’s sunny out, but it’s not the end of the world if he needs to be in it for some reason. wheras when he was younger it was a lot more of an issue. sunscreen might help in a modern era too. slip slop slap seek and slide, yknow? effects on the young: severe sunburn and some form of heatstroke. light sensitivity, especially direct lights… ambient sunlight loses potency over the years but like no vampire’s ever gonna look anywhere near the sun.

a vampire probably doesnt need to sleep unless they’ve metaphorically lost/used their spoons, by being affected by the sun or:

silver does affect vampires! touching silver burns vampires as if it’s fresh out of a forge. silver mirrors can’t reflect vampires (thus, cameras made with silver mirrors can’t take photos of vampires). in versions where werewolves are in the picture the same effects go for them. unlike the sun this effect doesn’t lessen with age.

let’s talk about garlic. if it’s a strong smell to humans, what do you expect it to be like for a vampire? and most human foods have more or less lost their taste for vampires, but not garlic or other members of the garlic family probably. it’s also one of the flavours that most clearly stays in the bloodstream. it’s not poisonous or repellant by any stretch of the imagination, but it is unexpectedly strong. it entirely depends on the vampire how much they avoid it, a matter of taste. some don’t mind it. some hate it, enough so the myth exists.

house permissions is only a problem if theres a ward on the building. these are pretty rare. i’ve made a post about wards and sacred ground already, [HERE], and though it is written pretty sarcastically and Old Man Yells At Cloud-y it does also accurately describe how wards work. im actually not sure if i described what the end product is. it’s like an invisible wall. most of the time that’s all it is, but some mages/paladins also know how to put defensive measures on it to shock whatever’s trying to get in. and it keeps out vampires and shapeshifters and we’re going into a whole NOTHER post there so put a reminder on that.

vampires dont have blood of their own theyve gotta steal it. this means they cant drink alcohol straight, or take drugs straight, because theres nothing in their veins to dilute the effects and they fucking black out or whatever effect at 100% for like 3 weeks straight. caffeine is a weird one (and by that i mean i havent made an executive decision on it yet because it would be mean to him to not let him drink coffee). i specificy ‘straight’ they can drink blood of drunk/high people and experience the effects. eli likes to experiment pairing different alcohols with different blood flavours like how you can get at fancy restaurants sometimes.

^ this is also why stakes through the heart dont work. the heart isnt actually doing anything most of the time? just for like an hour or two after feeding (cardio system isnt actually that much changed it just goes dormant most of the time). so if you stab it, that just means you have a hurting and pissed off vampire. the actual worry happens later when the vampire cant process any blood theyve drunk. so they kindof just have to starve and wait until the healing factor fixes it. but the healing factor is slowed because they cant drink blood to like,, fuel it. so for like a month this pissed off, hurting, starving vampires just gotta sit there and wait until their heart’s healed again. basically don’t do this.

iwtv and castlevania went hard with the bloody tears so im stealing that. except it’s not actually blood, it’s like how painted statues can look like theyre bleeding from iron in the pigments mixing with water… does a vampire need iron? probably not. so i guess it’s a waste product idk

vampirism is spread through venom (but not in the twilight way we made it good). in theory evolutionarily humans and vampires have a cooperative symbiotic relationship (we are talking neolithic here) but in practice the cooperative bit’s been dropped BUT the abilities are still there. so in small doses the venom heals wounds so a vampire can feed on a human without killing them. in larger doses (if the venom overpowers the bloodstream) then the transformation begins. i think. this bit’s all under construction still but i’ve yet to come up with another idea in the months-year+ ive been thinking about it.

thralls? let’s talk about thralls. it’s another venom-based thing, but it’s the consumption of venom instead of being infected(?) with it. eli avoids it, he’s a big fan of free will. if a magic user gets a hold of some venom they can cast a spell to make people obey them, but if the respective vampire is still in the picture their commands take priority on the thrall. is there a limit to what a thrall can be commanded to do? idk. i think it manifests as the thrall having unquestioning trust in the vampire. they can still think for themselves, but a direct command is just like “ha, im sure eli knows what he’s doing” *walks directly into incoming traffic*

as you can see this is a combination of like, every different vampire media plus some popular tumblr posts, plus my own thing ive got going for me. i pick and choose bits that i like and leave out bits i dont.

also i think these vampires would be more accurately classified as viruses than any living* thing and i think that’s cool.

i like speculative biology, and i don’t much care for religion, and i think handwaving “it’s just magic, it doesnt NEED to make sense” is the easy option and also short sighted. i have a very religion-like faith in science in that i believe there will always be a scientific explanation, and if there isn’t then we just havent found it yet.

[crguang]

violinist au masterpost !! ghuahsdgl i always think annoting music is very personal, since it's just like notes for urself esp if ur doing it with someone else idk, and handwritings together with the doodles on the side. i hated annoting music right before i quit tho. off-topic but ik kafka looks rlly hot while she's tuning her instrument. like she has her head cocked to one side to listen to the note so she can tune it, she's very focused... btw kakfa has a spider tattoo on her rib rage or her hip. idk yet the vision i recieved was unclear. also very hilarious to me that kfr got together 21 years after they first met meanwhile acheswan are hs sweethearts that are still together.

also that kafka fic you released, you need to put a warning. i would die if i was with kafka, i wouldn't be able to handle her w my abandonment issues. like she's not open, she's elusive for no reason, would kms

and the valentines day fic odahgl kafka is always yearning she's so stupid. the last paragraph tho....</3 "nor any desire to be known, to be picked apart without the guarantee of being glued together afterwards. Her feelings have no name and her body rejects their existence within her like unknown bacteria. Despite it all, once in a while, a repressed corner of her mind bears its ugly head and demands that you look at her." like fucckkk. she's so terrible at feelings.

also i'm building my aglaea rn shes v fun but i'm acc considering pulling sunday for her...like she hits 50k max w out sunday buff but i used an assist and she hit 130k like...

dsfhksdh i have more to say about kafka but i'm very tired and i still haven't gotten new sleep meds. but that is (hopefully) happening tmrw. but i did go to the art museum today and i got dim sum. since it was my birthday a little bit ago i should totally buy a kafka print, or a plush perhaps. also am considering buying tickets to hadestown but atp I'll have to spend all of it on the fucking doctor. really glad my midterms got delayed because of a snowstorm tho because i was not ready. anw i think I'll try sleeping but if i can't i'm watching "kafka all scenes 1.0-3.0" and yell abt her ur inbox. if my doctor's appointment doesn't go well you'll see me on the national news tho <3

-🌠

youre so right abt annotating music sheets together being personal… in a sense it represents them approaching their ambitions/dreams together despite them having different notes for themselves on certain parts and its so cute. kafka’s childish doodles ughhh and they all sit in a corner of r’s bedroom somewhere.

i will never disagree that kafka looks hot with a violin in hand… she could be doing anything but her focus is so attractive to me hfjsjsnf ugh i need her so bad. when she blocks out the outside world and focuses on herself and her instrument phewww. also the spider tattoo idea is a yes from me idk if you saw that one art of her as shizuku (? i don’t remember her name) from hxh but she literally has a spider tattoo on her abdomen and its so sexy, so i approve!!!!

in acheswan’s defense they tried so hard to get kfr together as teens but kafka wouldnt listen and r was oblivious as hell bc they couldn’t believe k would ever want them that way so its not their fault they got their high school/lifelong romance while kfr were miserable…… 21 years is insane though i hadnt done that math dhjdkfkg

i had to think for a minute what fic u were referring to but yeah… i love writing about kafka leaving idk what that says about me but her elusive ways are really part of her charm to me in some way hdjfjfmg i would def end my life if she left me but

kafka yearning <3 so subtle yet not. so easily overlooked because of the way she presents herself. so good.

aglaea is very very fun to play but yes you need sunday so she doesnt underperform 😭 50k for her enhanced basic atk is like 1/4 of what she can hit consistently with my sunday and hes not even well built, so i would def recommend pulling for him, i dont think he’s only good for her either so its a nice investment

ahhh im answering this so late but i hope you got new sleeping meds and that you enjoyed your birthday and that you did get the kafka print or plush bc you deserve it and its ok to treat yourself. hope your doctors appointment went well too !!! i’ll be rewatching k’s scenes soon im having withdrawals…

[softness-and-shattering]

Started playing Hollow Knight recently. Been watching a Lets Play and enjoying it a lot, so ok Ill try it out. Im enjoying it a lot. The first few times I sat down to play, I couldnt go for too long because my skill was obviously as minimal as you can get and there wasnt much room to explore without beating bosses, getting a lamp etc.

Today I went from outside Greenpath to like 6 attempts at the first Hornet fight. I LOVE Hornet. And I kind of knew there would be/was looking out for a bench, because it was just too far from the previous bench, to go halfway through the whole area just to get back to the boss fight. Also I had like 800 geo to nervously side eye, and I was right, stag station right under Hornet room. Also I LOVE the stag. I do not love Zote, who I rescued. I liked that the big fly? boss spits out little ones so I could hide under the platform and heal. And Im getting better at the jump strike. Im just too impatient + tired after all that to beat Hornet. I keep getting the thought of, just keep hitting her she'll go down if Im fast enough, but she just has too many fast attacks and too much health, it doesnt work. But I kept panicking and just going whack whack whack oops Im dead again. I do appreciate that theres quite a lot of time to heal if you time it right. Im just so impatient today! (Im struggling w access to adhd meds. Impulse control. hard to play patiently which is tbh the least of my concerns, but idk. Theres something nice about having a struggle thats not so vital as other things im struggling to do. Yeah I keep whacking Hornet and dying but ultimately it doesnt matter, the game is so pretty, the music so beautiful, what do I have to complain about. Like the fights and stuff is tricky, but its not stressful tricky, theres a calmness to the whole thing. I am still in brackets here oop). Ive also been continuing my real-life stretches some of which have now upgraded after a few months to very basic exercises, and what do you know, im feeling better, and stronger, and Im able to move around a lot easier (not much stamina yet but still, being able to twist and move dynamically again is GREAT), and theres like, endorphins happening, like its NICE to exist in my body, not just weird and awkward and painful. Im having a good time here! Hopefully get more support work soon too! Things are looking up and its a long time coming and a LOT of hard work coming. Its still hard work but this is one of those moments you get to a rest point on the mountain and look down safely and marvel at just how far youve come. This feels like a pretty big landing. Im admiring the view. I feel safe, in my guts.

Healing is possible yall. Its really really possible. and its GOOD. Its been....5? 6? years since the worst of it, I think? Theres no correct timeline. The time will pass anyways. Its very non linear. Its like climbing a mountain (i know very little about climbing a mountain), you dont just start somewhere and walk straight ahead in a line until you get to the top. You gotta go up and down and around and backtrack and its not sliding backwards, its ALL progress no matter what direction its in. Youre still moving towards the peak when you go down a slope, when you rest, when you go back to pick up something you forgot (idk if thats a real thing in serious climbing/mountaineering). Sometimes you gotta hole up for a week because theres a snow storm. Thats still in service of your life and your goal. And gaming is part of it, for me. Partly distraction, partly as like, a signal to myself that its ok, theres energy to spare, we can learn new useless skills, and have fun, and experience art. Theres time. Theres safety. We're not running from tigers, we can stop and breathe and take it in.

[burgycreeper405-blog]

*passes the microphone to you* so what is your fav ii dark fic about m8

super duper glad tou asked and didn't have to make you asked that bcuz no one was asking me about it/hj djfh

but my fav darkfic is simple actually

it's about mephone4

shocker i know sjdhsj

i started reading this when i wasnt even that into mephone yet lol

i was still doing the mp4 stock image meme dance lol

i m very sad that im not sure if this would get updated cuz this was published in april and updated in april, just a few days and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i am hurt in two ways jfhdjddj

caution, there are gorey stuffs there that even if there's tags there, it still shooketh me that i was like, *"holy sh1t, what am i reading?!"* (but not in a negative way) snfhsjf

like it went from 1 - 100 real quick (spoilers, or, warning,, it's about a animal that made me go "wtf" bcuz they're robots, it's fine lmao, but animals mmmmmmmm not sure about that sirmadam djdhsjj, and it's in chapter 4)

anyways, my explanation is gonna be very messy and short so bare with me here, i just wanna get this out now bcux most darkfics are just bad/mid/weird

so, this fic is mostly a what if/au

and that what if is a "what if mp4 failed to escape meeple hq" and ii doesnt exist bcuz, mp4 never escaped,, and the sad part about it is mp4 doesnt try to escape again bcux he forgot about it, cobs made him forget everything that makes mp4 want to leave

did i mention cobs is an absolute bastard here/neg didhjs

like dude, at the start of the fic, he is drunk, and he gave mp4 a smol task

but mp4 failed that task and since he was hella drunk, he smashed mp4 using a wrench, almost breaking him permanently

the brotherly bond of 4 nd 4s really makes it feel all wowie zowie, the author wrote them greatly like holy crap bruv

there's more in that fic, i think theres like 9 chapters and it took me 2 hours to read it in one go djdha

and i think that's the end of my explanation bcux my brain is all over the place rn and i just wanna get this out so bad

i might add more in the future but sheezus, yall should read it if you haven't/nf

i want it to continue so bad but i think it’s forgotten maybe,, hopefully not cuz it was just getting more juicier jhgfj

long story short, i love this fic and im still geeking out about it, i hope i can do fanart for this soon bcux i very much want to but brain says do it later, and you should read it/nf

[msperfect777]

hi I am sorry that this is a stupid question, but I still want to consult you. I am not relieved by your previous article. The contradiction is that even if I am not aware of the wall, I can still see its existence in the next second; on the contrary, when I realize that my desire already exists, I still cannot see it or live in an unwanted illusion. I have ups and downs, moments when I feel like I have it all and moments when it's so far away, I just want to wake up in my new room .

Thank you for your answer ❤️

you have to realize that everything is imagination. having your new room “physically” is the exact same as having it in “imagination” bc everything is imagination. the ego tells you its different and that one is more real than another but its not. absolutely everything is not real and just consciousness. “your” eyes, “your” five senses, everything. the moment u imagine ur new room, u have it instantly and if u look at this “physical world”, u limit yourself to the body, you are limiting your senses. why? bc you think the five senses is all there is (for example, feeling your new room, seeing it, smelling it etc) but what is ur true identity again? consciousness, the observer. you are the observer. you always observe = you are always aware. right now you are aware of these words. as awareness/consciousness, you are always aware and always the observer. everything else is forms of consciousness which are unreal and imaginary. this includes the five senses. so why would u limit urself to something that is imaginary when you are the power itself that can imagine / observer anything and everything? when u limit urself to the body and mind, you think things like “when is my desire coming” or “why isnt it here yet” and thats not necessary and its useless bc once u imagine it (which is observing it in imagination), you experience it instantly. its like a circle. imagination is all around. its not two parallel lines (one is not more imaginary than the other). ego tells you that there is something more to do to “get” it but you ARE it. your dream room is literally you (consciousness) so why would you need to lose yourself over yourself. you are naturally and always observing so just observe yourself in imagination and boom you got it instantly. the “physical” = imagination. the “physical” and imagination are just imagination and not real. ur new room is not real whether it is in what ego calls the “physical” or “3d” and the room is also not real in imagination bc its all imagination period. hopefully you realize now that theres no difference if you experience it in imagination (by imagining it or by it being “physical” *which is also imagination). you have ups and downs bc of the ego. dw the ego is not real. nothing is. observe the feelings and thoughts (ego) knowing that they are not real and they arent coming from you (your trueself, consciousness/awareness). as you said, “i cannot see the wall in the next second” thats bc you take that as real. this “physical world” isnt real. its all imagination. again, dont limit yourself to the body and five senses. thats not who you are. hopefully this helps. here are two posts that i recommend you read: why everything is imaginary and when ego doesnt understand non dualism. and sorry i answered so late ik u wrote this question like a week ago my fault😭😛

[arromantica-lucha]

i got a lot of thoughts about loveless by alice oseman and if this post seems very one sided well thats just how it read to me. my opinion isnt the end-all and i value how everyone interpreted and was affected by this book. this isnt a closed topic lets talk about it

gripes with loveless by alice oseman

took a while to actually explain that ace and aro are two separate identities and still not that well. it makes aro seem like a subset of ace which is entirely false. its cool there was an aroallo character involved but still

the book title 'loveless' is a real term and identity and the entirety of the book kinda shits on it by enforcing the ideal that its still okay to be aspec cause platonic love can be experienced and any type of love is required or at least better than "not feeling anything and being alone forever"

it was weird for her friends to forgive her over gestures that had nothing to do with apologizing before georgia actually apologized and explained but that may just be more of a personal thing that i didnt like. likewise the story being about platonic love it kinda sucks her deepest connection is with her roommate and not the people shes known for years and wronged

kinda sex negative. i mean rooney says she doesnt dislike casual sex but then that whole thing becomes the reason she hates herself and a reason to cope with being "unloveable" and its kinda lame. you can tell that story without making it seem like casual sex is just a means of devaluing yourself. and you can be sex repulsed and still not do that. it just feels unfair to aroallo people especially who are told they are monsters for enjoying and only wanting casual sex when this book is supposed to be about aromanticism too

(can we also be done with harry potter references??? lets stop hurting trans and jewish people thanks)

basically particular identities' stories shouldnt come at the expense of others and other ways of life. its great and important to write different experiences because no one is gonna relate to them all but no one has to replace romantic love with ANY type of love to feel good about themselves and be human. loveless and aplatonic people shouldnt have to read something that uses rhetoric against their identities within a book about aspec people

things i like about loveless

i didnt relate to it personally but the experiences felt very genuine. internalized aphobia, being hounded by aphobic comments, finding it hard to portray love even in a fictional or artistic sense, etc.

I appreciate the references to race and intersectionality that come with being queer even if they were minimal. so few times is it actually acknowledged that there is privilege when it comes to being understood, coming out, being accepted, etc. the references to that were nice to see because too often intersectionality being brought up is brushed off and blatantly ignored or people pretend like they understand

it was written by someone who is aroace even if there are some things that can be less isolating within the aspec community with the language being used. someone being open about their identities and how they choose to define them in the mainstream world is how we get more peoples voices in there

it has helped people discover their own identity though id still recommend further research on the actual identities being named and ones not named. these stories are the first introduction of aspec identities in mainstream and that hopefully means itll start to expand to other identities within that community that have not yet had representation

this should be the start of developing more rep. the first takes are not gonna represent everyone and its a good thing it exists to tell a few peoples story. but that doesnt mean it should be free from any criticism because thats how we make them continuously better. i hope to see an aroallo character soon. i want the term loveless to be properly used in media and expressed for what it is. i want to stop pretending like ace is the umbrella term for all aspec identities. i want amatonormativity explained as the sociological term it is that harms all life not just aromantic and polyamorous people. i want a polyam aspec character and polyam characters in general. i want disabled and ethnic aspec characters where the intersectionality is just as important to the narrative. i want a whole lot more and to stop prentending like any of that should be unreasonable