#hope is just another way to trust
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turtleblogatlast · 11 months ago
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[ cw: death mention / ]
Y’know something I really like from the movie is how close Future Leo and Casey Jr are presented as being, even if not shown often or super obviously.
Like beyond Junior’s blatant idolization of “the world’s greatest ninja”, I want to highlight the beginning of the movie, with Junior trying so desperately to save Future Leo, Leo reassuring Junior despite his own acceptance of death, and, especially, I want to highlight the “have a slice” line.
Because…this is a line given to a kid raised in war. A line given at the tail end of what quite possibly is the most important task the resistance has ever undertaken. A line whose importance lies solely in the sentimental value of a child finally getting to experience something entirely good, and Leo knowing Junior will succeed to experience it because he believes in him.
I dunno, I think a lot of Future Leo giving Casey Jr the thing Leo himself always longed for: trust.
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ratatatastic · 18 days ago
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Vanha Kauppahalli date: en full, a 2 minute 50 second masterpiece...
Primetime Panthers | 11.6.24 (x)
#aleksander barkov#matthew tkachuk#florida panthers#2425#the global series is a gift#“alright talk to me what do we got?” with the camera following behind them makes it seems like theyre spies doing reconnaissance#the start to a thriller where they got sent to finland stake out for intelligence#maffhew not even waiting for sasha to answer before hes asks about chocolate#“the purple one you always bring” maffhew has been charmed by sashas leaving choco in stalls as gifts when he comes back from finland huh#you can tell he says that with depravity of a man who finally realises he doesnt need to rely on his supplier he can get it himself now#“uh oh [laughs] okay... what is this?” maffhew was not prepared for all the food to already be ready for him he just hopped off a plane and#expected to have to wait more and did not and absolutely does not trust the situation in the same way you get romantic candlelit-dinnered#and youre like alright whats all this then whats your angle what are you doing#“this is salmon and rye bread 😄” “(with the eagerness to prove hes smart and engaged) so is that 👉” “(charmed) and so is that 🫱”#“ill try your favourite first” GURL RELAX OKAY SETTLE DOWN YOURE IN A NEW COUNTRY JUST CHILL MAN#“salmon and rye bread—thats the famous one 🤓” [sasha nodding along because he has to reassure maffhew but also hes in the middle of eating]#maffhew choosing the most inopportune time and you can TELL sasha is like [swallows quickly] because he wants to answer but also BIG BITE#“herring” “herrin' 🤠?” “eating all this her-RING” no notes#“is this just another salmon on rye bread” he says with hope because he likes salmon but also disappointment (he wants to try more foods)#“different salmon? smoked?” the amount of questions hes askijg because hes so terribly engaged he wants to know and sashas like [shrug]#he has to get an A+ in experiencing finland which is normal to want and possible to achieve#“i still love your country though” and sasha explodes into the mirthful grin ive seen in my life like he just won the damn jackpot#he speaks at 100 mph like please take a deep breath sweetheart youre excitement is papable but PLEASE#THE WAY HE GETS SO UNSURE WHEN HE MENTIONS BARKY HATES THAT FOOD WHEN HE LIKED IT SO MUCH#MAFFHEW YOU CAN GET A PASSING GRADE IN EXPERIENCING FINLAND IF YOU STICK TO YOUR GUNS I PROMISE#SASHA HELP A GUY OUT HERE MAN THROW HIM A BONE#SASHA ONLY LAUGHS AS MAFFHEW THROWS HIMSELF INTO A TIZZY OVER THIS YOU ARE SOOOOOO#the chuckle when sasha mentions he had runebergin torttu in school... id like to know what was funny there#we call out sasha for being too lovesick and laughing at all of maffhews “jokes” BUT HES JUST AS BAD???#“what the hell do i do with this thing?” MAFFHEW HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN MERENGUE IN YOUR LIFE???
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moe-broey · 4 months ago
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Miwabiwis.......
I actually do like her official outfit! I just... had a deep need.... put that girl in a nightgown and slippers RIGHT NOW‼️‼️‼️‼️ Also it is admittedly so much easier to draw 🧍
I did try to keep in line with most of her official look though! Or add more emphasis to little details, like the red berries... other details I added, like the bloomers, keep the roundness of her og dress! BUT ALSO.... they are just so cutes.... I imagine they're made of rose petals...... I was also thinking angelic motifs. With the dress shape, and the smaller wings shaped as such!
#fire emblem#feh#so much of this was just. trusting her color palette actually. like i feel there are just A Lot. of colors here.#some of which idk if the even should work together!!! in combination like this!!! red/pink! easy! pink/purple! easy!#pink/green! ONE OF MY FAVES. pink/blue? CLASSIC. pink w a rainbow gradient? THE CROWD GOES WILD I LOVE THAT SHIT#pastel pink/hot pink! YIPPEE!!!!! all together?? um. all? together? all of them? you said. all of them?????? hhngh. OKAYYY....#ADD A LITTLE PINK/YELLOW IN THERE. JUST FOR FUNSIES. FOR THE BIT. ALRIGHT!!!! WHY THE FUCK NOT!!!!!!!#trying to balance this w my own touches too. like the butterfly clips. they add SO much whimsy.#you can tear those from my cold dead hands. do they match the berries at the bottom of her hair....? um. well#idk i just think she's so cute she makes it work.#another challenging thing from a logistical level though was trying to get the shapes right...#like. turning down the business of the design. trying to draw the eyes to a focal point (which i think is the gown?)#then your eyes can parse out ooohh big fluffy hair and cute round bloomers peaking through. and wings!#LIKE... i think the sleek simple gown w just a bit of ruffliness at the bottom does help a lot#she feels. balanced. i hope LMFAOOO#either way this is how i'm going to draw her now and you can't stop me. if i'm going to be drawing a chara one million times#I NEED. TO MAKE IT EASY ON MYSELF. and fun! i am SO in love w her little nightgown it's INSANE... look at hwr.... 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#mirabilis#my art
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isp-annafer · 6 months ago
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I'd like to give Polites from Epic the Musical a formal apology because when I first heard Open Arms, it was so cheerful and optimistic and soothing my first thought after finishing the song was, "Oh, he is so doomed by the narrative. He's gonna die."
(And, fool that I was, despite all the warning signs, he became my favorite.)
#polites epic#epic the musical#polites#AND I WAS RIGHT#I WASNT EVEN SURPRISED SURVIVE ENDED THE WAY IT DID#I think Polites became my favorite because like#he haunts the narrative#he's there in Odysseus's actions#he's there in the morals he has to let go if he wants to go home#he's there in Eurylochus's actions (in the way Eurylochus doesnt have his foil)#he's one of the consequences Odysseus can never let go of#i think a lot of people say Odysseus shouldnt have listened to Polites and trusted the lotus eaters#but like#a lot of those people dont seem to consider the situation they were in at that time#No supplies#No food#This was the first island theyve seen in a while (time wasnt specified but it might have been a long time since they DID run out of supplies#when they get to the island#they dont find the food they were hoping for#but Polites had asked for a place where there were “other food to eat”#and got an answer#they had two choices at that point:#brave the unknown of the sea and HOPE they can encounter another island before they starve to death#Or chance the potentially dangerous islands these creatures told them about#of course theyd chance the potentially dangerous island#it was more likely theyd starve to death if they went back to the open sea#and they werent reckless about it either#they brought men to with weapons in case they need to fight#and wine in case they need to bargain (or maybe thats just to drink lol)#what are the chances that even if the caves WERE dangerous Odysseus was confident they could take it because they had a backup of 600
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pinacoladamatata · 5 months ago
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if they Tamlen solas' ass, that might just be IT for me
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mirrortouchedsea · 24 days ago
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dark. that was all he had ever known. cold, dark, damp. the boy shivers in the small room, painfully alone, only a book and his magic to keep him company. he tries not to use his magic very often, though. it seemed that the people above knew when he used it and they always always always refused to give him food until he “woke up” next, if they bothered to keep track of that. maybe this time he’ll learn their lesson. the boy whispers his spell, cur memini, and creates a small light in his fingers. this is the only spell he can cast safely, too small to be noticeable by the people above. he holds his hand over the fading book on the floor. the boy can’t read the letters on the page, but this book has pictures. he flips through it again, careful of the pages that were falling apart, admiring the figure in armor who always comes to rescue the figure in the tower, cut off from the world, just like him. the boy frequently dreams of a figure in armor coming to save him, despite the years he has spent alone. dark and cold and damp. 
the room the boy lives in, the only room he has memories of, is empty besides himself and the book. sometimes the people above would give him water and stale bread to eat, and then there was a cup and a dirty plate, but otherwise it was just the boy and the book. the boy knows why the people above have locked him away, they told him that he was a freak of nature, unnatural, dangerous. but the boy could only make lights in his palm, and that wasn’t very dangerous at all. he thinks to himself that the people above are the dangerous ones, locking away a child for something like this, but he can’t say that out loud. he doesn’t want to die again. 
the boy’s stomach grumbles and he curls in on himself, the light in his palm fades out. he longs to see the sun again, to play with the other children he can hear through the ceiling, to be normal. the people above must have decided to punish him again, though, as he doesn’t remember the last time he had anything to drink, to eat. his stomach would eat through his skin and he would still wake up the next day. why can’t he just die once and for all and be rid of the pain? why is the world keeping him here? why was he even born?
the boy closes his eyes, and falls asleep. maybe this time it won’t hurt so much. 
--- 
how long has he been here? the boy doesn’t keep track of time. he knows he’s died at least a dozen times, but how long does it take for a dozen lifetimes to pass? 
--- 
a clattering on the floor wakes the boy up. the people above decided he can eat today. stale bread and water again, but better than nothing to the boy. he crawls closer to it, listening to the door. it closes and the voices disappear. where was the sound of the lock? did they forget? 
the boy scarfs down his food and water before tiptoeing up the stairs. he doesn’t hear any voices, but he needs to be careful. he doesn’t remember what the above looks like, but he needs to leave. he needs to be free. 
slowly, quietly, he opens the door. it’s dark on the other side of it, but still much, much brighter than his room ever was. he closes his eyes but keeps the door open. breathe in, and out. opens his eyes again, blinking the brightness away. pushes the door further open. steps on the hard ground outside the door. he’s so close. closes the door quietly. turns around and holds his breath. where was outside? pick a direction and go. his legs hurt. turn the corner, listen for voices. voices are dangerous, get away from the voices. whisper his spell, create a small light. keep moving keep moving keep moving. window ahead. break it? open it? is he strong enough? lift the window up. too weak. voices coming. hurry hurry hurry must get out now. whisper spell again, hand on window. break the glass and jump through it. cuts on feet cuts on legs deal with that later. voices getting louder voices shouting. run run RUN. 
the boy runs away from the building, away from his room. freedom is so close. first get to the trees, then… he hasn’t thought that far, but he will find a way. gunshots from the house. he runs faster, must get to the trees, must hide, must be free. cur memini, he whispers again, crossing into the forest. his spell can make lights and now break windows, but he needs it to protect him at this moment. run run run until the voices are quiet again. his legs are giving out, but he needs to run. he can’t die now or they’ll find him. keep running. bare feet on sticks and stones and sharp things, everything hurts but he can’t stop. he keeps running until the sun comes up. his heart beats out of his chest. 
--- 
when he wakes up he doesn’t know how much time has passed. his heart beats fast and he sits up. did they find him? he looks around. trees, rocks, a gurgling stream. he’s free. he’s free. he sighs and lays back down. how far did he run? he needs to go further. away from other people, away from anyone who might lock him up again. he sits up again and forces himself to stand and walk towards the sound of the stream. he can start there. water is important, and he might be able to get food from the little stream too. 
his first drink of the stream water is icy cold, quenching his lifelong thirst in just a few swallows. he washes his face with it, removing years of sweat and grime. he wants to sit by the stream forever if only he could, but the people will find him eventually if he doesn’t keep moving. but he allows himself a few minutes to bathe in the water, savoring the feeling of water on his skin. his stomach still growls, wanting something more filling than the freezing water of the stream, but that would have to wait. he needs to get his bearings. 
the light of the outside world is almost blinding, he realizes. the sun and the snow made it almost impossible to see anything. he should get up above the trees. can he even do that? cur memini, he says, trying to get his voice to be louder than a whisper. his feet float a few inches above the ground. he closes his eyes and says his spell again with more conviction. Cur Memini. he feels himself shooting into the air before he opens his eyes. he can see the forest stretch out for miles around him. trees covered in snow in every direction. if the old house is behind him, he should fly straight ahead, towards the forests on the mountains. tentatively, he leans forward and focuses his magic on keeping himself afloat. 
it doesn’t take much to exhaust what little magic he has, but he’s put more distance between himself and the old house and the people above now. he should be safe to rest, truly rest. but first he should find something to eat. is there anything to eat out here? something in his head tells him to look a little closer to the ground. to his left. there’s a bush full of berries. he’s never had anything but stale bread, and doesn’t know what to expect as he crushes one with his teeth. 
the sensation overtakes him for a brief moment. the berry is sweet, yet tart, and delicious. it’s the best thing he’s ever eaten and he thanks the little voice in his head for the information as he picks several more berries from the bush. the juice runs down his chin and makes him sticky, but it feels good. he feels truly alive for the first time. 
once he’s finished picking the bush clean of its fruits, he needs to find a place to rest, to stay warm. he’s shivering in the intense cold of the north, but it’s nothing he isn’t used to. the room was never very warm after all. he listens to the little voices calling out to him, guiding him towards a small cave, instructing him on how to make a small fire to warm himself up. a small rabbit brushes against his leg and he swears one of the voices is coming from it. and with the fire going, he thanks the rabbit before it hops away back into the snow. he would be roasting that same rabbit over the fire a few months later. 
the boy can’t stay in the cave forever though. as days turn to weeks turn to months, he worries that the people above are getting closer to him. they’ll put him back in that cold, dark, damp room again. he needs to keep moving. he has been practicing his magic, casting stronger spells, and he needs to be ready to fly. it's been long enough. cur memini he says holding his hand out. a rough stick with twigs tied to the end flies into his hand. it’s a poor excuse for what he understands is a broom, but it will work. he climbs onto it and focuses. cur memini cur memini cur memini. he lifts off the ground and watches as the branches of the trees get shorter and eventually he passes above the treetops. 
he takes a moment to gather his bearings. he no longer remembers the direction the house was in, but going up is his best bet of staying away from the people above. he laughs, realizing that he is the one above them now. after a moment, he flies into the mountains. the small voices change into bigger, unfamiliar ones as he gets further into the mountain range. they tell him to hide, to stay away. he doesn’t listen. they cannot be more dangerous than the humans he is running from. 
the boy lands, still exhausted from using so much magic, but he was able to travel further this time. that has to count for something, surely. he gathers some sticks and looks for another cave to make his home in. the caves remind him too much of the room he left, so he chooses to stay close to the entrance, close to the light that reminds him he is free. the fire keeps the animals away, but the voices are curious about the new presence in their woods. they make him curious too. he should stay in the cave tonight though and regain his energy. maybe he can get some small game to fill his stomach before settling in for the night. he listens for a rabbit’s voice, or maybe a squirrel, anything that would be small enough to kill with his hands. 
at last, a small fox’s voice is heard nearby. he wonders if fox will taste different from the other game he’s eaten thus far. he lifts a hand-sized rock and slinks out of the cave towards the voice. it takes a few minutes to find the source, but the fox is curled under a tree, shivering, hungry, just like him. the boy hesitates before bludgeoning it and slinging the corpse over his shoulders. there are more foxes. he is much more important. 
the fox is only the first animal he hunts in those mountainous woods. he spends several years in that forest and eventually humans settle up there as well. the boy, or rather, the man now, has made a name for himself amongst the human populations of the north. he is no longer afraid of humans capturing him and locking him up. they are still terrified of him, but now he is in control of that terror. the hunters that left his territory alive whispered tales of the great wizard owen who inhabited the mountains and terrorized anyone who had the bad luck of running into him. 
all of this is perfectly fine with owen. eventually his reputation will grow beyond himself, encapsulating atrocities that were impossible for even someone as strong as oz to commit, but that would be a problem for future owen. for now, he is still young and living in his cave on the outskirts of a small village and scaring hunters who stray too far from their boundaries. the wolves don’t like these visitors either and gladly listen to owen’s lamentations. it keeps his hands clean of the bloodshed if he isn’t casting the spell himself. the wolves don’t care for owen either, but they respect him. and that is enough for owen. 
the first of the unwanted visitors was a young man, someone who wanted to provide for his family. he pleaded with owen and the wolves to let him go and he wouldn’t cause any problems. those pleas fell on deaf ears though as owen looked the man in the eyes. won’t your family be disappointed, he asked almost innocently, you don’t have anything to show for your efforts. the man stammered a response, they’d rather i come back alive with nothing than die trying to find food. is that so, owen reached out for the man’s chin, the distance between their faces was almost nothing. y-yes, sir, please just let me go and i won’t bother you anymore. owen grinned. oh i’m sure you won’t be causing us any trouble again. the wolves stalked out of the woods, drooling at the prospect of tearing a piece of that man for themselves. owen snapped his fingers, and they came running forward, only to stop mere inches from the now trembling man. there was a suspicious yellow stain in the snow beneath him. p-p-please sir, anything you ask, it’s yours! then make sure you tell the rest of your little village that this forest belongs to the great wizard owen. the man ran off, leaving behind a hunting rifle and a ratty sack. the rifle would be of use, but the sack became tinder for his fires. 
despite the warning from that first man, hunters continued to enter into owen’s territory. and one after the other, they ran off screaming with their tails between their legs. this should have annoyed owen, that people would ignore all of the warnings and stories that had started popping up about him, but it doesn’t. their fear feeds into his magic power, only making him stronger, and that is all fine with owen. he is no longer a weak child locked in the damp, dark basement, and he never will be again. 
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sysig · 2 months ago
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You could stay forever, if you wanted (Patreon)
#Doodles#Max Vyer#Dexter Favin#Helix#Coraline#I blame plushy brain lol#I initially wanted this to be a Max-centric Coraline AU but I realized pretty quickly that Max would just straight up get button eyes#Like it would be barely a question he would fall for it hook line and sinker#''The Beldam doesn't go after adults because children's problems and trust in parental figures'' wrong - Max Vyer#He already falls into his own world of dreams and make believe you Cannot look me in the eyes and tell me this man wouldn't get his soul#eaten in exchange for getting to actually experience his fantasies he's so dumb ;;<3#So I had to switch it to Dex because he'd actually be a challenge and the Beldam loves games lol#Okay but also imagine - Max getting duped and Dex coming to rescue him hwehh#Coraline AUs are endlessly fascinating to me because they always cut right to the core of ''This is what you want - right?''#It's that Want Vs. Need babey!!! Gah it's so good <3#Here's another question - you think the Beldam would assume the form of Madame Vyer? 'Cause yes the Matriarch role but#It's hard to argue that Dex and Max aren't the most important figures in each other's lives and her wit would kinda need to be in full focus#But it's Definitely incorrect to limit their relationship to being just guardian/paternal/filial/platonic to really any degree#Would get real awkward real fast - another reason I had to switch to Dex 'cause again he'd Resist just agh how creepy! It'd be really creepy#All that to one side for now tho lol - I really love the twist of the knife option personally ♪#Of ''I see what you want and I can give it to you exactly how it would be in your real old life - don't you want that?''#It's so invasive! So intrusive! The little doll scouting out the disappointments that could be so easily ''corrected'' hwagh#Dex finally getting actually called out for his coddling Max from Max ''himself'' and promised that he could keep doing it#That's where it hurts - to be told that you don't have to change but that this is the way reality would conform around your decisions#Ow <3 I love that#Is it everything you hoped it would be? Are you ready to give in yet? Hhhh ♥
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angy-grrr · 4 months ago
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There is gonna be more than that coming from the poll, but whatever it is vote Kacchan/Deku for best hero. Idc who wins i just need them to be together again
if they just announced it today without saying anything before, I would probably immediately do it.
Right now im just bitter because of the hype -I thought it would at least slightly relate to the actual story (adaptations of other stories, extra content for the volume which once again may I remind everyone is extremely short, almost half what a manga volume usually looks which is a huge problem).
This disappointed me extremely, as its not even related to any content from the manga beyond the characters it uses. I get that many ppl will work on this, and that artist will get excited over being able to get the spotlight, some will be able to ask specific questions, and a character will get a statue and a movie.
Still extremely disappointed because of the "special project will be announced on the 5th *wink wink*".
I can't feel excitement over it as, in my mind, I lost something that felt better -more content related to the story. So at best this would be "oh cool I can try it", a feeling pretty similar to the other announcements -not my favorite thing in the world, but I wont reject it and try to see what comes out of it.
This isnt at best to me right now
#grrr talking#grrr being a hater#literally one of the special things was already announced -the fan book#bc im feeling negative I will say negative stuff here so beware#as far as I saw the fan book is a way of getting another product without paying artists#and days before we already knew it would happen#the statue thing feels like the art exhibition like okay thats cool still doesnt compare to more stories like at all#and I will never see any of that in person ever so why would I get extra happy about that?#I know this is an homage so we can feel like we are closer to their world and all but the statues have a bad connotation there#vote so we can see the protagonist and the deuteragonist in a movie#im sorry why do we need to massively vote so they get content? they are literally the most important characters#and what would even be the movie about? For all I know they could do whatever they wanted with the characters#a movie based on who the most popular character is... great. unless passionate ppl are involved in the project it doesnt sound like a good#a good story could come out of it#as its based on who is most popular among voters not an actual story the characters need#so unless 278 characters already have backstories and stuff planned that would get explored in a movie#i dont trust what they could do with this#and I dont want to give them my hope. They didnt need to make an announcement for the announcement#that only has made me feel super bitter#will I get over it later in the day? probably#I still want to express myself#the only thing in my mind about using this opportunity is still bitter lmao#just asking why didnt you make them hold hands#because I can try to justify it with my own theories#but that doesnt mean anything now does it
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lulubeanie · 6 months ago
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Psychonauts dream.. Compton was there and hanging out with Ford :]
#duck speaks#they were going through a brain that was elementary school themed (like an elementary school but if it were weird mostly)#Otto and Bob had apparently already went in but they got lost or something so they went to find them and get them out#Helmut and Lucy and Cassie were sitting this one out I think. having fun elsewhere#a lot of the dream was like. going through a the halls and looking in the rooms (while also trying not to distract the kids)#or sometimes when you went in a room it would teleport you into a seat and you'd have to answer the questions correctly to get out#if you did something wrong it would restart I think#in one of the rooms though there was a flower pot with like.#a toy flower that had been grown really tall and large so that it could reach an open ceiling panel#oh I forgot to mention that this brain would make you small. shrunk#also for some reason Compton was leading this and Ford was following and doing what he said ?#he was kinda nervous and seemed like mostly he was winging it but Ford trusted him#anyways.#they figured that probably Bob grew that plant. which means him and Otto probably went up there#when they got into the ceiling it switched to be like. a neighbor and bus drop off ?#and they were in the bus but there was no driver. Ford took the driver's place and Compton would tell him which way to go#they drove around and helped kids (one of them brought their dog on the bus and it ran out the door and Compton had to go get it back)#but Bob and Otto weren't anywhere to be seen#I think they saw another plant somewhere but I woke up before they could check it out#I hope they found them wherever that one wouldn't taken them#psychonauts#<- forgot that#this is just what my dreams are like btw#they're beautiful and vivid and colorful and they always tell me some kind of story :]#and characters love to be in them also
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happi-tree · 1 year ago
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are we out (of the woods yet)
You look down.
Well, this explains the pain, you think, eyes darting over a body that you inhabit but do not recognize in the slightest, in colors that you can scarcely remember seeing.
Father is going to kill me. Then, Where am I?
Or: Henry Oak, and being destined for two worlds and when you've only ever walked in one.
ao3
Here’s my fic for day 3: werewolves. Like day 1, this is part of a supernatural au that @kaseyskat and @llumimoon masterminded alongside me, although this one takes place chronologically before day 1's. Hope you like it!
Life is good for you. Great, even! At least, that’s what Father wants you to believe. 
Below your feet, the leaves crunch in shades of silver and gold, compounded into tiny bits that fly up around you as you sprint through the dense forest, and life is… as good as it can get, for the time being.
The sky is becoming clearer by the day, more and more pieces of azure heaven made visible by the ever-growing gaps in the canopy, carrying with it relief and distress in equal measure.
The sun lances to alight on pale golden fur, warming you through, unfettered by the leaves as you bound from shadow to shadow, light to light. At the same time, you feel the autumn’s chill on the breeze; though it is not yet cold enough for the grass to don their frost-coats at the gray-gold-blue dawn (scarcely ever is, these past few years), there is a weariness in your bones that belies the winter ahead, aching in joints that have not shifted right in quite some time.
It tugs at the back of your mind, the turn of the seasons, the shifting of moons, the shedding of leaves that regrow with the promise of spring. But there isn’t much you can do about it - not without it getting back to Father in some way or another (it always does, and you have long since learned that this corner of the wood has eyes beyond those of the white birches), and that is the last thing you want - so you growl under her breath, clench your jaw, and run harder, as if the ache is just a muscle you can stretch simply by outrunning it all. 
You bank around the trunk of an old, gnarled dogwood and think of winter. They’ll need food stocked up at the Commune, soon. 
(Commune, a name that Father has given your number, because Pack is too much too animalistic, too barbaric, too laughably simple for what you are. For your purpose. For your community.)
(You would personally like to tell Father where he can shove his community.)
(Well, most of it.)
The sun will be setting soon, you know, and as you bask in golden hour you dread the encroaching indigo-tinge of twilight that will bring you to Father’s side, ever the obedient daughter. There is not much you can do, though, except to attempt at grasping ephemeral joy in your hungry jowls, to crush the dead growth underfoot until you are expected back within the heart of Commune territory. 
<Hen!> a familiar mind-voice calls out to you. <Hey, Hen, over here!>
Well. You suppose that maybe there is something else you can do.
The careless footfalls of your partner approach from behind, and you whirl around.
<Goose,> You sigh, half-exasperated, half-fond. <What in the moon’s name are you doing over here?>
<Could ask you the same question, Hen Ry’,> he chuffs, trotting over to brush against your flank. 
<Plus, you always head over to this part of the outskirts when you’re all moody,> he notes, gesturing with his muzzle at your surroundings.
The cliff-wall before you is a massive, towering thing, all craggy rock and silvery moss. You could spend hours following the striations in the stone, nosing at the peaks and valleys, following them to the edge of Father’s influence. You have spent hours doing just that, following the winding currents within the rock, stripes of light and dark that squirm organically like the veins of some giant, petrified creature. 
The trees thin out, here, and you glance sidelong at Goose.
<I’m not “all moody”,> You argue rather pointlessly, staring at the ribbons of light-dark in the stone before you.
<Please, babe, you’re always moody. I can smell it from miles away.>
Goose Sy’ is a gangly, wiry thing, with dark fur that looks lit from within in the dappled sunlight. He hunches lazily now, but there is strength and power and quickness beneath his pelt.
<What’s on your mind?> He asks, and you let him touch his nose to your cheek, an affectionate gesture that is a rarer and rarer treasure, these days. <Is the old man on your ass again?>
<When isn’t he?> You respond simply, growling a bit as you kick up more debris.
You sigh. <He keeps asking if I’ve thought about a mate,> you confess, and you scent his agitation and the slightest bit of worry as he turns his golden eyes on yours.
<He’s not, like, suspicious or anything?> Goose asks.
<Moons, no, thank goodness,> You respond, seeing him untense before you. <Could you imagine?>
<I could, actually,> Goose says, his laughter resounding in your brain. <I’d love to see the look on his face when he realizes his perfect paragon pup has been fraternizing with a mangy commoner. You know, before he kills me.>
You nuzzle against his side, let his scent wash over you. You’ll have to roll around in muck and mire for quite awhile to erase it, but as you bury your face into his ruff, you think it’s worth it.
There’s an ache in your heart that matches the ache in your unshifted bones, and you often wonder which came first.
<Killing is against his own rules, and my Father surely wouldn’t debase himself to such levels. It is beneath our glorious, enlightened kind,> You sniff mockingly. 
<I dunno, Hen, I think I just might send him over the edge.> He bumps his side to yours, snorting.
Father… has been getting very insistent about settling you down. Perhaps a part of you always knew that pups were the only things he judged you as being good enough for, but your stomach turns at the very principle. You feel trapped, miserable here in his territory, heir to his kingdom of oak and earth. To bring more of yourself into the world, to force them to endure as you have…
You scent a chill on the breeze, and it ruffles your fur, causing a shiver to run down your spine. The ache intensifies, and you can practically feel the creaking of your bones beneath the sinew.
You hear yourself whine before you can stop it, and Goose presses closer to your side.
<Have you thought about Changing?> He asks, mind-voice lowered to the slightest of whispers.
You balk. <Are you insane? Father would actually kill me. Just because you can get away with it doesn’t mean I could just - >
<I know, I know,> Goose says, trying on a soothing tone like an ill-fitting coat. <It’s just that - > he snarls, low and angry, and you flinch.
<Sorry,> He cuts himself off. <But you’re hurting, and it’s his fault. Him and his stupid fucking rules.>
It’s not the sun against your fur that makes you feel warmed through, now.
<I hate him,> Goose tells you.
<I know,> You reply, instead of the me, too that lies just below your speech-thoughts. 
<Does it hurt?> You ask him. <The Change, I mean.>
<A little,> He answers. <Well, a lot, at the beginning. But then, the pain goes away a little, I guess. Shrinks. You could try it, you know. I’d take care of you.>
<Absolutely not,> You say. <My Father would have both of our heads, and you know it.>
Your heart says something different, as it always has. You ponder for the briefest moment the concept of running away from it all, of a full-moon sunrise where you awaken in a body that is still yours but also not, side by side with him. You imagine the shift-ache unfurling into a new shape before shrinking dormant below your reformed skin.
You wonder if he would drag you to the treeline outside the nearest town, dress you in human things until you could masquerade among them. If he would teach you how to walk on two legs. 
You wonder what he would look like. Instead of brushing against your side, you wonder if he would hold your hand.
Wondering is a pointless thing, though, Father says, and running is cowardice.
Staying feels even moreso, but you know nothing else.
<Well, if you change your mind and wanna stick it to the old mutt, you know where to find me,> Goose’s voice echoes softly between your pointed ears, breaking you from your thoughts.
<Thank you,> You respond, trying to wrangle your mind-voice into something that sounds less morose and forlorn. You fail, judging by the way Goose presses his muzzle against yours. 
You wish you could go, just pick up and leave, but there are things that keep you. Mother, for one, though she grows more and more distant by the day, ever colder, like the Autumn she is named for, as Father sinks his claws into you both, bleeding you of your heart and your strength and your freedoms until nothing is left but exhaustion and ache and apathy.
Mother belonged to another Pack, once, you know, even though she has never spoken of it. A real Pack, in name and in function. She has known what it feels like to move between forms, between worlds, transient like the phases of the moon.
You would’ve liked a life like hers, a name like hers, one that feels equal parts human and beast.
Instead, you were named in Commune tradition. The first moons of your life you went nameless, in order for your parents (your Father, mostly) to judge what name would best suit you.
You think of Father’s name: Bear, a towering, massive presence compressed into lupine form that looms over you even when he is not there. Strong, masculine, predatory.
Goose was named this way, too, and the name suits him well - your partner is flighty, a free spirit, but brash and loud and quick to bite and clamor at whatever displeases him.
Even your childhood tormentor, Horse, suits his name. Proud and haughty and ornery and loud in his own right, skittish beneath Father and Mother’s glares. 
You do not have to wonder why Father chose Hen for yourself. You are a livestock, a thing to be kept in a wooden cage, with clipped wings incapable of flight, legs unsuited for traveling too far from his reach. Your children and your children’s children will feed the gaping maw of your captor, and there is nothing you can do about it. 
Your name chafes at you, scratches at you like brambles upon your hide. Meek and feminine and prey-animal and all the things you are but wish not to be.
<Sun’ll be down soon,> Goose’s mind-voice resounds in your brain, and you startle, cocking your head to dislodge your useless spiraling.
You look around, noting the yellowish light stretching the tree-shadows longer and longer across the ground. 
<You’re right,> You agree.
<Lost you for a minute, there,> He says.
Goose doesn’t press for answers, but the flicking of his ears gives away his concern.
<Just thinking,> You respond, glancing at the deepening blues on the horizon.
<You were thinking pretty loudly,> Goose remarks with a light press against your side. <You gotta get back, yeah?>
<Wish I didn’t have to,> You grumble, already turning to the depths of Commune territory, pawing forward even as you think it.
<Offer’s always open,> Goose replies. <Full moon’s only a week away.>
The pain within you seems to increase at the reminder.
<I know. Thanks. Don’t forget to get rid of the scent.>
<I know!> Goose exclaims as your paths begin to diverge - his, to his home on the far reaches, yours, to whatever Father has awaiting you tonight. <Thanks. See you soon?>
<Soon,> You agree, and hope you can make good on that promise.
“Hello?”
The first thing you register as you awaken is that your body hurts. 
Bone-deep, marrow-deep, cell-deep, all over. It feels like your limbs have scrambled themselves, ground themselves to dust, and then attempted to piece themselves back together from the rubble. It is as if every muscle fiber within you has been stretched past breaking point, as if every nerve ending fell prey to one thousand claws, one thousand fangs. 
Your very soul yowls in pain, and it is only because your teeth feel so wrong and foreign in your own jaw, because your vocal cords scrubbed raw, that you do not vocalize it beyond a shaking rasp. 
The second thing you register is a presence right in front of you. 
You open your eyes, and the third thing you register is dazzling, dizzying, scintillating color. 
Your hands (hands?) scrabble at the rough earth in a vain attempt to ground yourself as you look around half-dazed and hurting, and the soft, uncalloused flesh of your palms smarts and stings against jagged bits of debris.
You look down.
Well, this explains the pain, you think, eyes darting over a body that you inhabit but do not recognize in the slightest, in colors that you can scarcely remember seeing.
Father is going to kill me. Then, Where am I?
You don’t recognize this part of the woods - the scents of the Commune are all but nonexistent, and the area around you is well-trod, devoid of grass, human odors lingering and overlapping.
A human hiking trail?
You blink rapidly, taking in the fuzzy dawn light and its myriad of hues.
Mother had taught you about colors, once, when you were a very young pup and the world was still bright with more than shades of yellow and cerulean and she was not yet as poisoned by oppressive bear-weight of cynicism. 
She had told you their names, even, though you struggle to remember them. 
You test them out, now, forming their mouth-shapes with a slow clacking of newly-blunted teeth. 
Green, the color of moss and grasses and foliage at the height of solstice. 
Orange and her deeper sister red, the colors of the fallen leaves underfoot, the colors of the sky as evening starts its slow descent toward dusk. 
The coveralls that the human woman before you wears are purple, you think, a flower-color, a dusk-color, a dawn-color. A spring-color, a beginning-color. 
“H-ello,” you attempt, your voice creaking and throat constricting at the novelty of speaking aloud. 
“Hello, again,” the woman responds, slowly and frowning, but… not unkindly, you think.
You inhale, and her scent is tinged with something sparkling and warm and cold all at once. Magic-smell, you realize. There is worry there, as well - not for her own safety, but for yours. 
There is not even the tracest amount of falsehood to her - her demeanor, her expression (though, that, admittedly, is mostly guesswork), her scent. 
It’s a novel concept. 
You cannot remember that last time anyone had had honest intentions with you (apart from Mother and maybe Goose), let alone went as far to show genuine concern over you. 
It takes you aback, strikes you nearly as harshly as… whatever it was that has left you feeling so crippled. 
“My name is Mercedes,” the woman says, gently, softly, as if speaking to a wounded prey animal. 
The comparison is… not without merit. 
“What can I call you?” She asks. 
Smart, this woman is. Or incredibly stupid. To lend her own name like that knowing full well the risks is either an intense show of trust and compassion, or…
There is a glint in her eye, you notice, and the magic-scent sharpens. 
Well… best to repay a kindness with a kindness. 
“Hen,” you croak, trying to get the shape of your name to form on your clumsy, human tongue. “Ry’Oak.”
“Well, Henry,” the woman (Mercedes!) says, and you splutter at the way that she slurs the first two syllables together rather than the last. 
“Are you okay?”
Moons above, no, you are not. 
Your body hurts like it never has before, and your eyes sear with a kaleidoscope of hues you haven’t seen since you were a young pup, and the way this witch has butchered your name might be the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard. 
Henry, you mouth to yourself, running it together. It sounds rather plain, achingly human. Father would hate it. 
You quite like it. 
“I think… I will be,” you tell Mercedes. 
“Good,” she says, extending a hand. “Now, let’s get you cleaned up.”
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longagoitwastuesday · 2 months ago
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I actually like the last chapter. I think the ideas are very good. I have my qualms on how some things were managed, as I always do, but I think shonen authors get tangled in the expectations of a shonen to the point it jeopardises their writing, often even when they're not lacking in skills
#I think the nothingness‚ the absence‚ the moving on despite everything‚... is a good if heartbreaking idea#and we do see snippets of it throughout the entire manga‚ yet I think it is mostly lacking in execution#I like the quiet ways in which we see the characters mourn. How Megumi laughs at the letter‚#how Shoko muses about how Satoru should have let her take care of Geto's body‚ the faint smile when Megumi agrees‚#how Shoko quits smoking again‚ Yuuji giving this person hope and a second chance‚ making a reference to him not being executed‚#and giving Sukuna too a chance for him to take one day a different path#All those are very good ideas and all those are very moving quiet ways of grieving. But. It feels in general so lacking#There's so much of everything else in contrast‚ even things that have way less importance narratively than this most of the time‚#that it feels lacking. Especially with how one has to dig to find these things. There's so much that could have been done with the same idea#And done so much better. But the idea is good. The absences are good. The quiet presences are good.The nothingness is good if bitter and sad#But it could have been written better#I also think this ending with Yuuji apparently knowing about Sukuna‚ his lies‚ his little hint of softness‚ the potential second path‚...#makes even more believable why he'd try at all to offer him a second chance. And I love that Yuuji knows him and I love that he still...#leaves the door open for that second chance to occur at some point. Trusting that Sukuna would walk that other path next time#And I love that without openly acknowledging Gojo he demonstrates that he hasn't forgotten him in his acting#How he gives that guy a second chance‚ how he jokes about him not getting executed‚ how he wants to make sure people‚ 'problem children'‚#don't get left behind. He doesn't mimick Gojo in his power but in this flippant but caring aspect and thus he's not forgotten#I do like this. It's heartbreaking. Gojo's desire to be forgotten is bittersweet as it's in a way a desire for... normalcy and humanity#To be surpassed. It goes well with how Gege says Gojo can do anything and thus why he does nothing‚ not even hobbies‚#to leave something for the future generations and not being another wall in their achievements#Gojo's desire to be forgotten is in line with the constancy of his writing when it comes to being drunk on his status#and yet resentful of his loneliness. It's a mix of being left behind and not being left behind#For being left behind and forgotten would mean he is more like the rest. Just another step forwards#And he'd have done what he wanted to achieve. Sorcerers can't stop a long while to grieve but Yuuji takes his words and actions#into consideration and steps forwards. Does the same. Fulfills Gojo's expectations. Walks towards the future. And that's the legacy Gojo#wanted and not going down in history as a legend or the strongest. He was just a teacher. Like Yaga was. He was not even the principal#Just a teacher. His role‚ the role he chose for himself‚ has been fulfilled. Now all this could have done way better#Something of Yuta and Megumi given their dynamics with Gojo would have been good. But I guess Gojo's 'at least one' works well#with Yuuji being the one doing the work. Yuuji was also ontologically alienated since birth and still he too remained cheerful and flippant#despite being so lonely so I guess the final parallel is intentional. But it could have been managed better still. The idea is good though
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aeide-thea · 1 year ago
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sometimes it really is just like. is this all there is. feeling oversensitive & undersocialized—too sensitive to socialize—forever, bc you never got enough ~affirmation~ growing up (poor, pathetic baby; how long will you persist in singing the same self-pitying song…), & so never developed the proper emotional cushioning against the heartache & the thousand natural shocks, &c, &c, &c, &c, &c…
#like—you can't get close to people if you're too raw to bear the inevitable grit of misunderstandings and small incompatibilities#we all fail one another. sometimes in a myriad of small ways‚ sometimes in big ones—#sometimes you and people you care about are simultaneously failing each other on separate but parallel tracks#and ultimately you have to be able to bear that and keep reaching out to people anyway‚ as you hope they will to you#and i just. i need so badly for something—someone—to be new and good and an easy fit‚ because i haven't got trying in me#but also frankly i wouldn't trust anything like that if it appeared to me‚ at this point#molly grue voice how dare you come to me now &c#i'm a fussy person whose capacity for delight has drained away#and i think it's SO important to be kind and yet still so often i don't manage it#despite biting my tongue SO often that it hurts‚ which has taught me to feel there's nothing acceptable abt my own reactions#and i never MEAN to be pompous or dickish or whatever but caring about precision and conscientiousness and whatnot isn't in fashion#so i'm pretty sure that's how i come off to most people#and there's no prospect of anything changing and it's just like. sometimes in the night i think. well. i'm basically already dead then.#like. the last‚ i don't know‚ almost-decade at this point has been a slow painful process of sinking ever deeper into exile#stripping away various social positionalities and connections in trade for—nothing.#alien nation.#all the norms are shit but outside them—what is there.#anyway.#feelingsblogging
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snixx · 11 months ago
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mike wheeler in the fic I'm reading has exactly as much tact as I did in high school. what can I say sometimes you really do have to learn the hard way that you do not immediately ask your best friend who is also your soon-to-be ex's sibling "nothing's going to change between us no matter how much your sister and i hypothetically hate each other in the future right?" when you're LITERALLY still in the middle of your very messy breakup and they're furious at you secondhand because of #siblingsolidarity. not to mention he handled the break up itself like an ass like go off thank you author i love it truly the representation for us completely oblivious emotionally challenged idiots we're starved of otherwise NO ONE EVER GETS HOW STUPID WE CAN TRULY BE
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swordmaid · 2 months ago
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thalia is so growing on me i love my rich woman who has Problems.. i gave her ice powers for like. the elsa vibes.
#but im like damn... gale...karlach....stay away from her... or else ur gonna explode in the end....#really a coin toss between those two and im gonna be sad at the end but that's the thalia experience 😭😭#also i dont think she's gonna save the tieflings... not bc she's evil but she generally doesn't care... and curing the tadpole is her utmos#priority. like she's already stressed with her chaotic magic killing her if she loses 50/50 now you have to add brain worms on top of that?#funny that shri'iia does more heroic deeds and she's like. the evil aligned chara#but thalia is generally very cold in a sense that she's always looking at the bigger picture and she's willing to sacrifice/disregard#who gets caught in the crossfire.. like that's just another responsibility she has to bear for Her. and she's very the type to sacrifice he#own happiness for her Duty vibe. like i think she's just learned how to be content with whatever she's left with.#also she's her father's heir bc she's the only child to her father's First Wife. and thalia get step siblings along the way but i think tha#grief of losing her mother / becoming an adult/handling adult affairs quickly made her jaded on a lot of stuff#and she feels like it's her responsibility to lead her noble house to higher pastures so her step siblings can live freely#like she's just taking all the work to herself - as the Heir. and that's what she was doing UNTIL she gets the wild magic#now suddenly she feels like she's cursed. and the fact that it's chaotic by nature and so dangerous..!! she can't stay in court or at home#over the fear of harming someone. and she's learnt that to get rid of a problem you always have to go to the root of it#hence why she's travelling around finding more info and source of the wild magic in hopes to cure herself from it#and she kind of put her life on Pause bc she believes she can't get anywhere with this curse. but its like gworl u put ur life on pause lon#before that.. anyway her end goal is that once she cures herself and she's normal again she'll prob marry some other old money heir#set up trusts for her siblings and live a quiet life. but that wont happen obvi hehe#also one of the siblings' name is melpomene... being named from the goddess of comedy thalia is kinda boring lol#essentially her story is like. she learns how to have fun. essentially. depending on how i rp her idk yet actually
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venacesaur · 3 months ago
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It hurts again and again that the only person I can save is myself
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lususnatura · 3 months ago
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🎤 🎤 🎤
a song that i associate with my muse meme!
AHH, hey, ramone!! thank you for sending in this prompt :D since you sent in three of the mic's, i shall now be treating you to three songs that make me think of blamore when i hear them / that i associate with it. an explanation of why i chose them will be in the tags <3
hozier - who we are.
youtube
icehouse - crazy.
youtube
depeche mode - personal jesus.
youtube
#IT WAS PROBABLY NOTHING BUT IT FELT LIKE THE WORLD: musings.#asks - answered.#ooc post.#okay but ESPECIALLY heavy on the last one because it literally all about the idea of someone that people can turn to in hard times-#like a god or a prophet who will listen to your plights and help you + who you should believe in. and i say this because one major theme-#to blamore's character is the concept of being a false prophet and someone who essentially unfortunately takes advantage of people's-#longing for things to get better in gotham. bc i feel like a lot of people there have either been failed by the system by other's or-#possibly both and this is so that blamore can get people to voluntarily want to consume the 'seeds' it distributes in order to uhh...#well purge gotham of its undesirables basically as terrible as that sounds. but yeah that depeche mode song? it's such a good one for-#him and definitely has helped me before to write things related to him since blamore does sometimes believe in its own hubris.#but as for the second one by icehouse that one i associate with it because although it doesn't exactly consider itself to fully identify-#with the label of being a 'man' i feel as if blamore will still talk about itself that way sometimes. its relationship with its gender-#is honestly a little bit complicated NGL because him using it/its pronouns as well is something blamore adopted recently even-#though he'd always sort of felt like disconnected and/or like it didn't really align with how he saw himself completely. BUT yeahhh#i honestly could start a whole discussion about that but i shall do that another time perhaps ahah. anyhow though besides that-#elephant in the room ever since it has transformed into this half-human half-plant monster being... although it does love any partners-#it has very much (trust me) i feel like it does wonder why they chose to be with him more often than he'd like to admit.#so that's where the whole 'crazy' part comes in and as for the hozier song that song is about how you kind of have to carve through-#this 'darkness' to rediscover ourselves and who we want to be as a result of going through a rough time or just something tough in-#general and that is SO freaking fitting in my opinion for blamore because it definitely had to completely reframe the way it thought-#about itself when it transformed. and he also had to figure out what he believed in / what his values were now which can be suchhh-#a messy process TBH but this isn't the first time that blamore's had to rediscover itself as life is honestly kind of this ongoing-#process of losing yourself and trying to find yourself again you know? but yeah. i hope you enjoyed my explanation here tehe <3#and also that you enjoy the tunes!!
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