#hooker lake
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comfortspringstation · 1 year ago
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Milky Way Rising from Hooker Lake, New Zealand
Photo via Twitter
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pangeen · 2 years ago
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“ Hooker Lake in the Snow “ // Aaron Jenkin
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jeanhm · 7 months ago
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deletingmyself · 4 months ago
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(by brendazago)| New Zealand
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thorsenmark · 10 days ago
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Real Jasper National Park-land!
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Real Jasper National Park-land! by Mark Stevens Via Flickr: While at a roadside pullout along Alberta Highway 93A in Jasper National Park with a view looking to the south-southeast. This is while standing along the shoreline of Leach Lake with a mountain backdrop that included Mount Fryatt and Whirlpool Mountain. I decided to angle my Nikon SLR camera slightly downward as I felt it better brought out that view to allow the eyes to slowly move across this national park landscape and be drawn into the image.I later worked with control points in DxO PhotoLab 6 and then made some adjustments to bring out the contrast, saturation and brightness I wanted for the final image.
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ierotits · 10 months ago
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if yes, talk about it in the tags! where did you see them?
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gothamite-rambler · 10 days ago
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Dick Grayson's Robin Having No Filter and Giving His Father a Migraine
Robin!Dick: Hi Ivy!
Poison Ivy: Hi... young child. Stand over there, away from the giant rose.
Robin!Dick stepped away from the rose while staring at it mesmerized.
Robin!Dick: Can I-
Batman: I will take you home.
Robin!Dick pouted and walked off grumbling.
Ivy: He's adorable, if I didn't hate people I'd keep him. Okay, so run it back, you want me to stop my mission to protect mother earth and you were like "that's wrong for you to do". Continue with being wrong.
Batman: I should not have to explain to you how your mission to save the earth doesn't benefit people. It's destructive.
Ivy: Why? Because some people might die? A few dead bodies are worth it for saving the planet.
Robin!Dick (shocked): What?! You're killing people to do this?
Ivy: Yes... A few dead bodies are worth- Why is his face sad?
Robin!Dick (trying not cry): That's so mean.
Batman (glaring at Ivy): Now you've upset him.
Ivy (indignant): All right last I checked, the earth is dying, I'm just being honest kid. What do you want me to say? I'm not destroying the Earth, big corporations pumping out microplastics, pouring random crap in the lakes, Nestle... JUST NESTLE! They're screwing this planet like she's a two dollar hooker! I stopped eating their chocolate bars after the founder said water shouldn't be given to everybody!
Robin!Dick (shocked): Did he actually say that?
Ivy (calm): Basically he implied water shouldn't have free access because Nestle is the biggest proprietor of bottled water and no amount of explaining will ever fix the fact he said that! So whatever you're about to say, Batman, I do not want to hear it! They’re destroying ecosystems, hunting endangered species, killing crops and-
Robin!Dick (interrupting): Hold up, that's all she's trying to fix?
Robin!Dick turns to Batman.
Batman: She's not doing it in logical way.
Robin!Dick: She's a green woman who can control plants! Does she look like she wants to use our logic? No offense by the way, Ivy.
Ivy: You're fine, I love my body.
Robin!Dick (confused why they're fighting her): Why don't we help her, Batman? Has she asked for your help?
Batman (sheepish): Um... It's been brought up in the past.
Robin!Dick: Then why haven't you?
Ivy: Yeah, Batman, that so mean.
Batman: Because... She's a criminal and will let people die for the cause.
Robin!Dick: Well I mean if it's that nestle guy I don't... Don't necessarily blame her and I've seen you beat the ever loving shit out a lot of bad guys.
Batman: Language.
Robin!Dick (loud): The context needed the word. I love you Batman, I do, but let's be real you steal police information and beat up thugs. You have not paid the commissioner back for the fire hydrant incident. I'm sorry, but you break a lot of laws. You say you're doing it to save lives, so is she! Most are plant lives, but I get it. We would be arrested too, but we're lucky, she's not... it's not right.
Ivy (sincere): Thanks kid.
Robin!Dick: You're welcome and plus in any other city, we'd be going to prison. You'd be, I'd be tossed into an orphanage and that... That's not fun.
Ivy: A lot of kids in the system have been abused, he's got a point.
Batman (annoyed): Why are you arguing with me, Robin?
Robin!Dick: Because dang it, she might have a point! We can help her to a degree... In fact isn't the building we're in is being sued for what they did to a lake? All those ducks died.
Ivy (adding): Nothing can grow there for decades.
Robin!Dick: Yeah, the ecosystem is destroyed there.
Batman (yelling): Why are you ganging up on me?
Robin and Ivy: Because you know it's wrong!
Robin!Dick: You have told me you became Batman because the system is flawed and sometimes matters need to be taken into your own hands? How is she different?
Ivy: Okay... you're growing on me. Here, take a rose.
Ivy used her powers to hand the young hero a rose.
Robin (smiling and taking the rose): Aww, thank you.
Batman groaned then yanked Robin by the ear.
Batman: Excuse me, I have to talk to him in private!
Ivy: Aww, I'm starting to like the kid, go easy on him. He's smart, he knows what he's talking about.
Robin!Dick (being dragged out): Thank you, Ivy.
Ten minutes after the two argue, Batman comes to a compromise with his son and Ivy because he knows that Dick would absolutely not mind sabotaging factories or causing a fire with a supervillain to protect the planet. All he needs is a good reason.
Batman (driving them home in the batmobile): Could you not defend the actions of the bad guy in front of me next time?
Robin!Dick (eating McDonald's fries): Don't take me to one who has a point.
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Batman searched for Robin after taking down Joker.
Batman: Robin? Where did he go?
Joker (laying on the ground as Batman presses his shoe on his back): One of my goons went after him.
Meanwhile Robin does flips, tricks and runs around the room while giggling as the goon chases after him.
Goon: Little boy, little boy stop running!
Robin ran, but when the goon tried to grab him, the young hero grabbed his hand and clamped down with his teeth making contact with the mans hand. The goon screamed in pain.
Batman: He's down the hall.
Joker: There's no... Guarantee he'll win.
Robin kicked the goon in the crotch and ran off.
Goon (weakly): Right in the kiwis.
Robin!Dick: Batman, I got the last one!
Batman: Good job, Robin.
Joker: I hate your child soldier.
Batman: Thank you, I raised him well.
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Talia Al Ghul (to Batman): You-
Robin!Dick: You're out of his league.
Talia: What?
Robin!Dick: I'm just saying, it's obvious you have this stalker obsession with him, 'love' you like to call it, but Batman could do way better than you.
Batman chuckled covering his mouth.
Talia: Okay, I was telling him to stop his 'no-kill' rule and join the league, but also he wants me and some snot nosed brat won't have a say in any possible relationship!
Robin!Dick: Well, I'm 13 now and even I can see you shouldn't be together. Not even on a league level, but like come on, why would you get with a guy who doesn't want you or to be on your team? That's sad.
Talia (irate): You think I won't smack a teenager? I don't give a fuck!
Batman (disturbingly calm): Touch him and you'll wake up in the hospital.
Inspired by this post
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horrorshow · 4 months ago
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a season 4(ish) fic rec list focusing on the emotional aftermath of dean going to hell and coming back, and what could have been, for @spnficrecfest
WALLS COME TUMBLING by destina sam/dean, 3.2k, rated E Sam was stupid last time, when Uriel snatched Dean away without warning. Stupid, and unprepared. He won't make that mistake again.
NO ONE IS ASKING (SO LEAVE IT ALONE) by xzombiexkittenx sam/dean, 9.4k, rated E Everyone has their coping mechanisms. Sam’s getting everything under control, one step at a time.
THE EVERLASTING GAZE by fleshflutter cas & dean, 1k It's a strange thing to hate your saviour. Dean doesn't remember Hell, not really. He doesn't remember Castiel putting his hand on him, drawing him up through the fire and blood. But there's a huge, frozen horror hidden in the back of his head. It creeps into his other thoughts.
SLEEPING BEAUTY by deadlybride sam/dean, rated M, 1.3k March 12, 2009. Sam rescues Dean from Alastair.
MORALITY ENDS WHERE A GUN BEGINS by lazy_daze sam/dean, 3.1k, rated E Sam hates the handprint and stares at it when Dean comes out of the shower in just a towel. It hardly even makes him feel better to see the stark lines of Dean's tattoo still on his skin, the same mark over Sam's own heart.
HIT THE GROUND CRAWLING by jonny_vrm sam/dean, 28k, rated E After Sam pulls Dean out of Hell, Dean stops talking. It takes a week for Sam to convince Dean to open his mouth so Sam can check that his tongue hasn't been cut out. It takes two weeks for Sam to accept that Dean really isn't talking. Then it takes a week of silence, the two of them sitting in the Impala like ventriloquist dummies, sitting in motel rooms like human taxidermy, before Sam decides to start talking for the both of them.
DEVIL'S TRAP by ratherastory alastair/dean, 3.8k There is water dripping slowly onto the Devil's Trap, and Dean doesn't care. AU where Sam is unable to kill Alastair in 4x16, exploring Alastair's relationship with Dean further.
PASSION by deadlybride sam/dean, 2.5k, rated M Hell reflects its ruler. Hell is, always, essentially Hell.
YOU TAKE IT WITH YOU by lazy_daze sam/dean, 30k, rated E Sam saves the world, and he brings Dean back from a month in Hell, but that's when things start to get complicated. Dean's cheated death before, but this time, it's different – Dean's spirit is unable to re-enter his body. Can Sam and Bobby work out how to reunite Dean's body and spirit? And how will Dean cope if they can't? From hunts in the Chicago lakes to visits to the Grand Canyon, with dreams, handjobs and hookers along the way, Sam and Dean ride it out and learn all over again how to live this life and live it together.
EMPTY SPACES by mariahlee dean, dean & sam, gen, 4.3k Hell? Consistent. He knew what to expect. Now, topside, everything is different. The world he used to know forty years ago is almost completely unfamiliar.
HANGMAN IS COMING DOWN FROM THE GALLOWS by withdiamonds sam/dean, 28k, rated E Today is the last day of Dean Winchester's life. Today is the last day of Dean Winchester's life. Today is the last day…
I ONLY DREAM OF YOU, MY BEAUTIFUL by sophie_448 sam/dean, 1.2k, rated M The last hours of the year are ticking by, and Sam realizes that there's no way to save Dean.
THE FIRESTARTER by jaimeykay dean & alastair, gen, 13k Set during On the Head of a Pin. While he waits for Dean, Alastair reminisces on what brought them together. Those forty years? Were delicious.
LIKE ROCK SALT WITHOUT A SHOTGUN by lazy_daze sam/dean, 2.8k, rated M Sam thought maybe, when it was all over, when he'd used his powers to their limit and stuffed all the demons back into hell and vaporized Lilith and nearly killed himself in the process -- he'd thought maybe they'd go.
THE DEVIL'S WATER IT AIN'T SO SWEET by xxamlaxx alastair/dean + cas/dean, nc-17 Dean comes back from hell with something extra.
HUNGRY AND HALLOW by hathfrozen sam/dean, 14k, rated E "Sorry," Dean gasps, going to tug the gun away, throw it to the floor, probably. It’s different—it was never okay, and this is—it’s different, what the fuck is he doing. Sam says, “Don’t," as he stretches his neck out and to the side slightly, opening it up to the cool press of the metal barrel.
HOWL VERSE by paxlux sam/dean, 85k, rated E In Hell, people change. Or they stay the same.
I FEEL FLAMES AGAIN by fleshflutter sam/dean, 12k, rated R Following a failed apocalypse, Dean nurses Sam through his addiction to demon's blood, which has driven Sam to horrific things.
FAITH WITHOUT WORKS IS DEAD by deadlybride sam/dean, 2.4k, rated E Sam does what he has to do.
SO FAR FROM YOUR WEAPON/DIG, LAZARUS, DIG by maypoles sam & dean, gen S4, Dean has an especially effed up relationship with pain now, Sam finds out/realises / After "On The Head Of A Pin," Dean has a bit of a breakdown.
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the-faceless-bride · 3 months ago
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Yandere Oc (Valarie) × Reader ⚰️🕊
This series is A DARK ROMANCE/HORROR and may have content that some readers may find disturbing. Triggering. Or harmful. I strongly suggest that if you don't enjoy Dead Doves content this story isn't for you. @pricegouge had inspired me to get into writing like this again for their AMAZING slasher 141 stuff. So thank you for the inspiration to continue this.
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Proluge: "Stranger..."
As most times in your life. You're bad decisions came from your friends and their wild ideas. Your boyfriend Mike, your friends, Jessica and Ashley had all decided that this week would be a party week! No rules, no responsibility, no consequences for anything! It was part time.
And it was draining your social battery...
Before your boyfriend you were a homebody. You liked being alone with your music, your fantasies, and your cat... well...
You tried to stay positive, this trip was for you after all. You'd been so sad when your cat Gizzmo passed away, they thought this would cheer you right up. Apparently, they don't know you very well. Not like you thought anyway...
At the moment you were at a bar/club; drained, a bit tipsy, and a bit jealous at the sight of Mike dancing a bit too close on Jessica. Ashley had tried an chatt a bit, you'd always liked her a little more than Jess. She at least checked up on you here and there. Jessica seemed more interested in just coming around for Mike.
"Not having fun?" - a voice calls to you over the music, turning your head you see a handsome man. Shoulder length hair pulled into a low ponytail, his bands and strands falling to Frame his gorgeous face. His voice sweet and seductive like honey. - "not really, and not looking forward to the future either!" - You yell over the booming base of the speakers, - he raises his brow confused on what you mean, - "my friends found some pond they want to skinny dip in after this! My friend Jessica suggested it! I'm not to thrilled to go swimming in a random pond!" - "ah, I see. Not alone then! That's good, i wouldn't wanna go to 'Dead Hookers Lake' alone either!" - Dead... what? - "w-What does that mean?" - You ask scooting over in your barstool to get closer to the tall man. - "Well, It's kinda a rumor y'know? Just something this small town says! Apparently with all the passers-byes some folks end up missing! But they can never really say for sure. This town is almost a ghost town by now! So really, it's just something scary people say to keep pretty girls from wandering out too late at night!" - oh, great. Just what you need. A story that's gonna fuck with your tipsy brain and make you paranoid all night long. Thanks random stranger at the bar. Just what you needed. - "you staying here long?"- you were about to answer but then that paranoia set in, - "I can't tell you." - "...why?" - "cuz you're a stranger."- that just made the man pause. Just... staring at you...
"BABE!!" Mike yelled across the bar, - "LETS GO!!"- he called with the wave of his hand Ashley and Jessica already making their way out. Giving the stranger a short good bye you lightly jogged to Mike before looking back at the strange man once more...
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"Are you sure about this?"
You call to your friends and boyfriend, who had already stripped down and gone into the cool muddy water. "Ugh! Stop being a Debbie Downer!! Get in, it's fine!" Jessica called back, making a face to Mike before giggling.
"MHmm," - you make a noise of uncertainty and slight disgust, "the water looks questionable to me!" You respond, "It's fine Babe just drop the tee-shirt already"- Mike said, a bit uninterested. You knew why, he was busy staring down Jess.
Then again, you couldn't blame him, she was very pretty.
Dusty blonde hair, honey brown eyes, plump lips, a full curvy body with great legs and very nice breasts, hell even you looked.
But now, it made you all the more self conscious.
But taking a deep breath, you slowly dropped your boyfriends shirt you had been holding infront of you to hide yourself for a bit longer before the inevitable.
Dead hookers lake. Huh. If you felt anything touch your leg you were gonna flip.
Getting into the water, after many little pep talks you slowly tip-toed through the water to reach your Boyfriend. Every now and again anxiously looking around the water, looking for nothing and everything. Ripples in the water distorting the shadows of the pond, making shapes of horrors just below the surface. Your eyes looking around picturing what could be right there and you wouldn't even know it till something touched you. A fish, a plant, a body, HELL even a crocodile or something! Finally making it to Mike, you pull and cling on to him like a baby koala. Refusing to let go, and slowly the paranoia and anxiety started to disappear.
"What the hell was that-"
Until it came rushing back, "what's what?" Jessica asked a confused and disgusted Ashley, "I think I just stepped in something?" Ashley reaches under, her lip curling up in a grossed out face before starting to rise whatever it was she stepped on out of the water.
"I think it's like a dead fish or something-"
A Hand.
A Mushy. bloated. Discolored. Rotted. Hand.
And everything begins happening all at once.
Ashley is screaming, dropping the hand back into the water, watching the loose skin stretch and wrinkle as it sinks back to the bottom where it once laid. Jessica is rushing out of the water, a never ending stream of- "oh my God. oh my God. Oh My God." 's leaving her soft pleading lips, Mike rushing to get you all out of the water and to your phones to call the cops.
This can not be happening. It just can't. You feel your chest tighten as it gets harder and harder to take a steady breath. You fight the urge to gag as you too begin to rush out of the water.
"They're gone."
Huh?
"What do you mean "'they're gone.'" Mike?!"
"Our phones! THEYRE ALL GONE!"
Everyone is in full panic mode now. Mike and Ashley looking feverishly on the ground to see if maybe they had fallen, Jessica is now telling herself this isn't read. And you're vision is getting Hazy.
Then a Scream.
an ear bleeding, gut wrenching. Scream.
The scream turns to a gurgle, and Jessica holds her neck as she bleeds freely from the new wound. Eventually falling as the tries to press the hole in her neck. Twitching as the dirt and mud covers her naked body, ruining her perfect skin as the rocks under her leave cuts and scrapes against her backside.
"JESSICA!" Mike screams; a mix of fear, horror and anger.
And within a fraction of a second, Mike and Ashley take off running.
Not bothering to fully get dressed. Ashley tossing on her long sweater and Mike is boxers, you clumsily pulling on Mike's tee-shirt and panties as you try and keep up, "wait! Please! Wait for me! Please don't leave me!" You scream out to them, trying to navigate the way out of the thickly packed wood that over casted the dirt trail. And then as you tumble from a tree root a large hard hand grabs you, pulling you to a strong chest and holding you down.
In a panic, unable to use your hands and the large hand comes close to your nose and mouth with a cloth you toss your head back hoping to hit something to make the attacker let go, a man gasps but ultimately it only seems to hurt you more than him... and in that moment a sweet smell hits you, the soft cloth over your face being the only comfort in that moment.
"Don't worry, I'll take care of them. You just rest for now. Goodnight Darling." The voice slowly fades away.
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A/n: here is what "Stranger" looks like, you'll get his name in the first chapter.
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And here is voice claim. (Let me know if it doesn't work. It's been weird. And dont mind the capcut 🤓💀)
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treacletartlett · 3 months ago
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Watery problems
going to the lake for a swim with your closest friends sounded fun, until you encountered a certain problem, not having a suitable bathing suite really made the nervousness gnaw at your head, but revealing this much of yourself to harry really seemed to catch his attention...
this kinda turned into a Romione fanfic, but they rock so it's fine!!!!
contains sexual content!
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spending a hot day at the lake with your favourite people sounded amazing, especially since Harry, who you've been attracted to for quite some time, will be there, meaning you'd see him in less than you've had for ages.
while looking through your luggage, you found absolutely nothing you could wear to swim. the stupidness of your situation really hit, and you realised that it was actually the dumbest thing to forget while spending summer vacation with your friends.
being in Ginny's room, she obviously knew of your situation.
"here, try these. they're my other pair, I'm sure they'll fit you great." she smiled, while handing over the tiniest scrap of fabric over to you.
you and Ginny had very different body types, as she was on the shorter side, being 5'2 (180 cm), pretty skinny with a smaller chest and butt. you, on the other hand, were a couple inches taller and had a fuller chest and a slightly curvier body compared to hers.
it wasn't a rather big difference, but with bathing suits it matters much more than with other clothing types.
"Ginny, I don't think this will fit, or at least cover the necessary parts." you croaked, not wanting to walk around feeling like you're dressed to go to a hooker's house.
Ginny huffed, and turned away to look at herself in the mirror. she was twisting and turning, seeing how her perfect fitting bikini looked on her while talking to you.
"just try it on, okay? even if it showed a little more than you normally wear, it's only us. plus, you've got a hot bod, you need to show it off more." she grinned while turning to look at you.
you blushed, standing in front of Ginny and Hermione, all three of you so exposed in a tiny room really lifted the tension for you, but you noticed Ginny seemed as comfortable as ever.
"she's right you know," Hermione replied. "we've already seen you naked multiple times, and Ron and Harry probably won't mind..." she trailed off, seemingly in a moment of thought. "quite the opposite perhaps. anyway, it doesn't matter. we're all very revealed, and there's going to be no one but us. unless you feel uncomfortable of course.."
her soft voice calmed your nerves. she looked at you expectantly, waiting for you to answer.
the thing is, you weren't really sure. I mean, Ginny and Hermione weren't a problem, but Harry and Ron? Ron would definitely keep his eyes on Hermione, so in principle he didn't matter that much either, but Harry? that was difficult.
"no you're right, both of you. I'll just try it on and see if I'll wear it or not, besides, if I choose not to, I don't have to swim with you guys today. I'll buy a new bathing suite when we go to the stores or something." you shrugged, trying to act like this didn't bother you.
it wasn't that big a deal, but still, something kept making your heart rate go up when you thought of Harry and Ron seeing you like that.
anyway, you stripped from your underwear, leaving you completely naked. first, you slipped the bottom on, which resembled a thong more than anything, and exposed your whole ass. after, you asked Ginny to tie the knots of the top.
looking in the mirror, you observed the flimsy piece of fabric.
the triangles supposed to fit over your breasts only covered parts of them, enough to hide your nipples, but not enough to support and cover your whole breasts. the string tying it all together was thin, instead of being at the bottom of the triangles, it was attached to the corner, which resulted in it being in the middle, making it feel unsecured at the back of your back. the one going to your neck was short, making it feel like the top will jump up at any given moment.
the bottoms were low, stopping just above your pubic bone. a small piece of fabric managed to cover your private parts, but it left your whole ass exposed.
to summarise it, there was a very big chance of you flashing everyone the moment you step into the water. you felt very naked and exposed, thinking about how you would face the boys looking like this.
you knew they've probably seen naked women countless times, but this was different. you were their best friend, and who says this won't warp their image of you to them? if it were the other way around, you didn't think you could ever think the same about them, having seen them so exposed. you already got chills seeing Harry shirtless.
"you look great! see, I knew it would fit perfectly. right Hermione?" Ginny's ecstatic took you by surprise, even more did her words. you weren't sure if she was kidding, was she actually being serious about this bathing suite fitting perfectly? you loved her enthusiasm and support, but still, it has got to be a joke.
"yeah, it's actually not that bad, seeing as it's just us, though if we were going to a public place, I wouldn't agree, but it's just us, so I agree." Hermione smiled gently. she looked absolutely fabulous in her dark pink one piece, classy but gorgeous. Ginny rocked her navy bikini, sitting perfectly on her.
then there were you, wearing almost nothing in red. you almost laughed at the irony, but oh well, what would you do about it?
they were right, it's just us, nothing to worry about. you did want to see Harry's reaction, even though you felt a bit perverted about it...
"I wouldn't say it fits perfectly, but it's alright, I guess." you mumbled, turning away from the mirror and grabbing your stuff.
Ginny and Hermione did the same, all of you tidying up the place a bit before leaving.
while you all dropped your stuff in a bag, there was a knock on the door.
"can I come in? you all better be dressed!" Ron's gruff voice yelled through the door. Hermione instantly blushed, seemingly flustered by the thought of them seeing each other in less than usual for once.
you and Ginny grinned ear to ear, used to Hermione's and Ron's back and forth flirting. it got time they made a move, but they were both too shy and awkward.
"oh no, definitely not Ron, we're all butt naked!" Ginny yelled back while laughing, then she quickly pulled open the door, making Ron scream out of fear, covering his eyes quickly. he was wearing his orange shorts, complimenting his hair and freckles brilliantly.
this made the three of you burst out in laughter, clutching your stomach from how red Ron was getting.
"oh so funny, Gin, you're so hilarious." he spat out, agitated by his little sister's theatrics.
"I know, I'm hilarious, Ron. anyway, what do you want?" she breathed out, coming down from the laughter, also red, but in contrary to Ron, from bursting because of that.
"mum said we're leaving, so you need to come down now-" his words got caught in his chest when he saw Hermione behind us, looking flustered and blushing furiously.
they stared at each other in silence for a couple seconds before Ron spoke up.
"uh- well uh, mum said to call for you because we're waiting a-and she uhh, she made lunch for us to take with." he stammered, all in love and pathetic.
Hermione was so red she could explode. Ginny and I glanced at each other, grinning and trying to hold in our laugh.
as expected, Ron couldn't look at anything other than Hermione. he either looked all around him, avoiding her sight, or he only stared at her, his eyes could burn holes through her as we were walking down the stairs, where Harry awaited.
he was leaning against the back of the couch, wearing his dark blue swimming shorts, looking bored.
you inhaled a deep breath, your heart skipping a beat. butterflies and nerves danced in your stomach, and spread all over you body.
you've seen him shirtless a couple times, but they were all some years ago, when you were both children and immature.
he grew taller, obviously, and his body much more toned. quidditch and all the action making him more muscular.
his arms looked strong, his muscles visible as he rested them on the back of the couch. his quads were incredible, his legs toned and beautiful. his chest, oh God, his chest and stomach. they were sight of Heaven.
his abs weren't too intense, but just perfect.
you couldn't stop staring, and before you knew it your eyesight followed down his v-line, wondering what it led to underneath his shorts.
you caught yourself, turning red at the fact you thought of such things when everyone was around you. scared someone could suddenly read your mind, you looked around you, trying to distract yourself.
when he noticed everyone coming down the stairs he looked up, first, grinning at Ron and Hermione, looking like they wanted to throw up, but also like they wished they were alone and wearing less.
"you seem a tad bit red there, Ron. you alright mate?" he said, not being able to contain his grin. he patted Ron on the back, while Ron shot a glare that could burn this whole house down at him.
Harry chuckled, his chest vibrating with force, something so mundane, it made you clench your thighs.
"right, sorry Ron." he put his fist to his mouth, trying to hide his enjoyment. Ron ignored him and turned away, trying not to look at Hermione but failing.
he turned towards you, Ginny, and Hermione, smiling slightly at her, before looking at you and Ginny.
He greeted you both with a smile, which you both returned.
"hey Harry!" Ginny greeted before turning away to talk with her mother, leaving you standing there awkward and alone, while Hermione and Ron were finally trying to make small talk, resulting in Harry having his whole attention focussed on you.
His eyes skimmed your body briefly. He seemed slightly disconcerted, obviously not expecting you to wear something like this. you thought you saw a hint of judgement in his expression, but for the most part, he hid his thoughts and emotions, his face blank.
You blushed, immediately turning pink. You stood awkwardly, fiddling with your fingers and looking away from his eyes. suddenly feeling self conscious, your arms were wrapped around you. you felt the need to explain yourself.
"I-I didn't have my own bathing suite so I had to borrow Ginny's..." you mumbled, embarrassed and chuckling awkwardly.
"and, heh, as you, uh, can see it's a bit too small." you continued, trying to lessen the tension with humour, but it clearly didn't work, as Harry returned your awkward laugh with his own.
"it's alright, not that bad, it's just us here." Harry assured you. he turned away, relieving you of his gaze on your revealed form.
Ginny walked back, a bag of food in her hands which she handed over to Harry to carry. Ron and Hermione quieted, and got ready to leave.
while the guys carried all the heavy stuff, you and the girls carried your own bag and talked while walking. you kept thinking of Harry's gaze, of him assessing your body, even if it was brief, for some reason it turned you on.
you felt ridiculous, desperate, and self conscious. it didn't seem as if he thought you were attractive, but he didn't show any thought about you at all.
the lake wasn't far away. first you had to walk a path that went through part of the forest, but when you arrived you were mesmerised by the sight in front of you.
while Harry and Ron set up the space, placing towels, the parasol, and a small table with chairs, you and the girls set down your bags and watched them.
when they finished everyone took their spot on their towel, grabbing food from the bag Ron's mother gave you. you noticed your towel was right next to Harry's. he was on the far end, having Ron's next to Hermione's.
you ate in silence while the rest talked. you felt to awkward to talk to Harry, constantly having to fix your bathing suite every couple minutes.
on the contrary, Harry seemed at ease for the first time in a long time. he was smiling constantly and laughing, his shoulders hung, his hair falling in front of his face. it was purely and angelic sight.
his eyes met yours, and at that moment you realised you were staring at him for a good couple minutes, and your face flushed. Harry cocked his head sideways, his brow raised.
for some reason, you felt even more heat licking your insides, embarrassment filling you even more.
harry finished his sandwich, and beckoned you to him with his hands. surprise filled you until you played it off and cleaned the crumbs off yourself. you crawled on his towel and sat next him, his body heat engulfed you completely, his skin touching yours, making arousal grow inside you even more.
he bend slightly to whisper something in your ear, his hot breath like a caress against your skin. your breath shook, your heartbeat increased eratically.
"I can see it on your bottoms." he whispered, making sure no one else could see.
you turned your head to look at him, your lips close enough that less than an inch movement would result in collision. his big green eyes stared at you, almost like a deer. the sight made a shiver wrack up your body, awakening a need so deep you weren't sure you could function without satiating it.
"w-what?" confusion laced your question, your mind out of the riddles, only focused on the half naked Harry in beside you.
"your bottoms, I can see the spot," his answer didn't clear the air at all, and you weren't sure he meant literally or not, so you hadn't dared to look down.
"they're soaked." he finished, his sentence caught in your mind, your throat suddenly dry. you turned away from him, shame filled your guts to the point you felt you would explode from embarrassment.
you closed your legs, hoping everything was still covered and harry wouldn't be able to see your arousal anymore. he kept looking at you, as if waiting for your reply. suddenly, his hand found your shoulder, his warm skin resting on yours, sending tingles down your spine. he gently squeezed, lowering his head towards you, trying to catch your eye.
"no one has noticed," he chuckled slightly. "except for me." his soft and low voice sent butterflies frantic in your stomach, having to hold in your breath in case something other than a breath would escape you.
he didn't even do anything to you, and for some reason you still feel the need to let out a soft moan. suppressing yourself took all your strength, and harry moving closer to you, his side touching your back completely, didn't help at all.
"y/n," his hand wind up in your hair, rubbing your head soothingly. "look at me please." he urged slightly, this all taking you by surprise, but also mortifying you, and still, for some reason, turning you on.
his request lingered for a couple seconds, then, you turned to him. his eyes were already on you, his face expressionless. his hand was still in your head, his arm resting on your shoulder, his other hand was in his lap.
"don't," he smiled slightly. "be embarrassed."
you felt his words didn't help you at all, in contrary bringing more shame upon you than before. you looked down again, your back hurting from your hunched over posture. playing with your fingers, a thing you did often when you're nervous, harry's hands found yours, stopping you from squirming.
"it's okay, really." he pushed, seemingly desperate to make you open up. "what were you thinking about?"
his question startled you, speeding up your heart rate, your mind scrambling for a reply.
when harry noticed you struggle, he spoke up, nudging you softly, in a jokingly matter. "you can tell me, I promise."
you stayed silent, this whole conversation throwing you off balance. you weren't sure if you should be honest, and tell him you were thinking about him. he was your best friend after all, and nothing happened years prior that would indicate otherwise. it would either make everything awkward between you two, or end in something that could possibly bring you either regret or pleasure.
"you," you whispered back, taking the risk, since life is about taking risks after all, right?
"I figured." he smiled. silence filled the space except for the chatter behind you, reminding you of your friends' presence.
"oi y/n and I are gonna leave for a bit don't wait up with getting in the water yeah?" harry suddenly called out, surprising you completely.
he stood up and grabbed your arm, pulling you with him while the others nodded and resumed talking. he walked you through the forest, arriving at a place where it's completely quiet, your friends's voices unheard.
"harry, what are you doing?" you asked, nervous and butterflies dancing in your stomach. he pushed you against a large tree, darkness surrounded you seeing as the greens were covering the sky by how tall they were.
"thought we could use a more private space," he answered, still talking softly even though no one could hear you. "don't you think?" his hands caged you in, his face inches from yours. his torso not quite pressed against you but still feeling his warmth.
you nodded, all words in your vocabulary fleeting from your mind. your arms hing at your sides, you felt paralysed, standing rigid against the tree while harry stood so confidently in front of you.
"y/n, what were you thinking about me?" he asked, his big green eyes giving him an innocent look. his hand found your face again, caressing your cheek while admiring your features. "it's okay, you can be honest." he encouraged you, feeling that you hesitated.
"w-well I thought about y-you with me." embarrassment filled you, your feeble answer making you look and feel weak, knowing harry thought that about you too.
"and what happens when I'm with you?" he pressed slightly.
"we're all alone, a-and," you took a deep breath. "we didn't have any clothes on, and we're laying on the floor, next to each other." looking down, you realised it sounded more ridiculous out loud than in your head, which burned your face even more.
"why are we laying on the floor? what happened? what were you thinking about?" harry bombarded you, gently, but obviously waiting for your answer.
"well, we had sex, on the floor where I put on this bathing suit, and you found me. and the only thing I could think about was you, almost naked, and how you looked like underneath." you whispered the last part, feeling it's too erotic to say out loud.
"more? was that it, or is there something else?" he urged, your words not affecting him by the slightest. his finger tilted your chin up, forcing you to make eye contact with him.
"I thought about what you would be thinking seeing me like this, I- I wanted to see how you would react to this, and how pretty you are, and how I've always been attracted to you, and always wanted something- something more." word by word you grew some confidence, harry seemed to like hearing your thoughts, not the least bit thrown off or uncomfortable, the opposite actually.
"you really think I'm pretty?" he asked, his voice containing a hint of vulnerability, his cheeks getting a rosy tint. of all the things he could say, this was the last thing you expected. you couldn't really imagine harry blushing, especially not by something you said, so seeing it in real life made your heart stop for a second.
"I do." you replied, smiling slightly at him. he smiled back, leaning in slowly, until your lips touched for the first time.
it felt better than you've ever imagined. his soft lips only made the gentles contact with yours for milliseconds, and still, it exceeded all your expectations.
when you broke apart, heart beating out of your chest, harry smiled, keeping eye contact with you. you knew where this was heading, and even though you both haven't done this, you were anticipating the moment.
"are you okay with all of this?" harry asked, which elevated your feelings and anticipation even more. you nodded, trying to constrict your smile but failing miserably. it was all going so fast, and you weren't sure what to think.
"say it, y/n. and don't hide your smile, I love it."
your heart burst.
"y-yes, I'm okay." you managed to croak out, impatient for harry's touch on your skin.
the second the words left your mouth he began kissing you, rough and needy, but still giving you time to adjust and devour each other. his hands found their way to your bikini strings, and pulled, making your top fall to the ground.
you gasped in his mouth, your hands quickly went to cover yourself, but harry stopped you, holding your hands in his, and kissing the tops of your fingers.
"it's okay, you're beautiful." he mumbled, admiring you. you admitted there wasn't much difference to you with the top on, but still, it made you a little nervous being so exposed to harry.
but your worries calmed immediately, harry's smile and sprinkling eyes settling your nerves and make you feel good about everything, including yourself.
he led your hands to the elastic waistband of his shorts, guiding you to taking them off of him. he slid them down his legs until he removed them entirely, leaving him completely naked.
you felt better with him exposing himself entirely first, making it feel safer for you. he was an absolute piece of art. even though you've already seen most of him, you get to see his most private parts, which you loved.
he was beautiful. absolutely mesmerising, and you couldn't and didn't want to take your eyes off of him.
he was already hard, and his eyes were watching your face, seemingly waiting for a reaction, or response.
"harry," you whispered to him, stepping closer until his cock touched your leg. you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, his hands meeting your waist instantly. "you're so beautiful."
harry blushed immediately, apparently not used to getting compliments like that before. it made your heart ache, knowing he doesn't get genuine compliments often, but also knowing he obviously loved getting them from you and feeling grateful sends butterflies swarming in your stomach.
"t-thank you," he answered, not knowing how to show that he appreciated it more than you think, but he didn't have to, you thought, you knew how he felt by his eyes.
you kissed him again, and harry came back in his element, pushing you completely flat against the tree, his hands finding your thighs, spreading them lightly. his fingers found your clit, eliciting a low moan from you.
he pulled back, watching you intently while moving his fingers through your folds, wetness coating every inch of you. he gently pushed one finger inside you, moving softly deeper and deeper, letting you adjust and just seeing what's comfortable. when he found a good pace, his fingers moved rhythmically in and out, making you throw your head back, the sounds of your moans filling the space around you.
"harry, please." you breathed, not entirely sure what you're begging for.
but harry seemed to understand, and removed his fingers from inside of you, standing flush between your thighs, lifting you slightly, pubic bones touching, and him hard and warm against your wetness.
"I know, baby." he mumbled, holding your head, brushing your hair from your face. his other hand held you, supporting you by your waist.
tears formed in your eyes, your lips parted, breathing heavily. when you and harry made eye contact, something shifted in the air, and suddenly you got the urge to laugh.
it seemed harry had the same feeling, because as soon as your lips broke into a wide smile, harry began laughing softly, you joining him not long after.
"God, you're perfect, did you know that?" harry said, after catching his breath. you smiled shyly, a blush spreading on your already rosy cheeks, yet again.
he pushed your bikini to the side, admiring you. then, slowly, he sinked into you, stretching you an unbearable amount. he groaned, while you let out a soft moan, relishing in the warm feeling of him filling you up completely.
at first, it hurt a little, not used to the feeling, but after you adjusted, and he began moving into you slowly, pain turned into pleasure, making you throw your head back.
"oh my God, harry." you moaned, your hands found his hair, tugging at it gently. harry's lips were parted, his nose and cheeks tinted pink, breathing heavily.
he leaned down, kissing your neck. one of his hands left your thigh to hold your breast. his thumb worked your nipple while he squeezed, eliciting a load cry from you, the pleasure overtaking your body.
he thrusted into you faster and faster until he found a steady pace to keep up. you cried out, and harry moaned into your ear, his hot breath tickling your skin. the sounds of you and skin hitting skin filled the forest, and you silently prayed ginny, ron, and hermione couldn't hear you.
you didn't bother keeping the noise down, though. it all felt too good that you didn't want to bother yourself with something like that. you loved hearing harry's sounds, his moans and cries elevating the pleasure.
"oh, y/n. you feel so good." he whined into your neck, his lips and tongue touching every part of skin they can reach, including your chest, and up, kissing and biting at your collarbone and going to your jaw, licking every part. when he reached your lips he kissed you so fiercely, not giving you the opportunity to catch your breath.
the hand that's holding you up was digging into your thigh so hard you were sure it would leave marks, aside the scratching of your back against the tree, surely turning your entire back red. but at the moment, you didn't care. harry was touching you everywhere, and that's the only thing crossing your mind right now.
you grew wetter and wetter, your arousal dripping down your legs while harry's thrusting into you hard. he entered himself completely, not even leaving an inch of himself to go without you. it felt like he was in your stomach, even though you knew that would be impossible. but the visual of his print inside you on your stomach when you looked down got you close to the tipping point. you didn't think it was possible for him, or anything else in that matter, to go deeper, feeling like he was constantly hitting the end of you, pushing against your cervix.
you pulled away, taking in as much air as possible, harry's face against the side of yours, breathing against you. his hair was falling over his eyes, sweat laced both of your bodies, both of your wetness coating your skin.
"oh, harry, I'm close, so close." you cried out, feeling the sinking feeling of being thrown over the edge, wave after wave crashing into you. harry's mouth lowered to your nipples, his warmth engulfing them, his finger to your clit, rubbing it up and down fastly.
"go on baby, come, for me." and that's all it took for you to fall over the edge.
your orgasm hit you so hard you lost your breath. pleasure overtook your body completely, making you cry out to harry loudly, clinging on to him while bucking and moving against him. harry's arms wrapped around you, holding you tightly until you came down, making sure to support you.
"God, harry." you yelled, feeling like it would never end. you tightened against him, feeling him come closer and closer. the after waves of your orgasm hit you hard, with harry's continued thrusts lengthening the ongoing shivers.
"y/n," harry called, and you knew immediately he's going to come. you pulsed around him, moving against him to meet him faster. "come, harry, please." after pulling his hair, and licking and sucking his neck, he came with a moan.
his pace became sloppy, and he slowed while riding out his orgasm. his hot cum filled you, covering your walls. after he came down, he pulled out slowly, making sure you're supported and slowly lowering you again.
he leaned his forehead against you while you both caught your breaths. he chuckled, holding your face and leaving a kiss on your lips. you smiled at him, hugging him to you tightly.
"you were great." he suddenly whispered to you. he held you tighter against him, resting his head on your shoulder. you did the same, breathing in his scent.
you realised you had to go back sometime, but for now you opted to stay with here with harry for just a while longer.
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quillofspirit · 9 months ago
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Erebor Terrain Inspo
Here it is lads (gn), the last terrain study!
It's been fun! please send me your requests if you have any other places in Middle-Earth you would like me to explore <3
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From Top to Bottom, Left to Right
Mount Cook overlooking Lake Pukaki by Andy Bridge
Mountain Ridge by Andrew Smith
Mountainside and Cascades by Hernan Perez
Lake and Cascades by Michael Roberts
Hooker Valley Track by Athithan Vignakaran
Mountain Faraway by Jason Gardner
Snow Covered Mountain by Luca Calderone
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jeanhm · 7 months ago
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Walk to Mount Cook
Our original intention was to go to Lake Tekapo today but we decided to book a biplane trip for tomorrow and as it was such a great day weather wise we were advised to to the walk to Hooker Lake at the base of Mt Cook. We parked at the Sir Edmund Hillary centre and set off. It was a long walk on the Hooker Track but in excellent weather. We had superb views to Mt Cook during the majority of the way and crossed 3 suspension bridges before we arrived at the lake where there were icebergs floating. We also heard the ice on the glaciers above us cracking several times but only saw some snow falling on one occasion. The river we were following was the most beautiful place blue colour as was Lake Muller which was the only other lake on our route.
We were very tired by the time we got back and a bit sunburned too but it was a great day and some amazing photos too.
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fromasgardandback · 1 year ago
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Rocker Mayfield - Part I
Eddie Munson x Mayfield!Reader
description: Y/N Mayfield moved back to Hawkins after their father left her to be with his new family. Living in the trailer park wasn’t bad, especially with an attractive neighbor.
word count: 1.6k
warning: divorce, abandonment, crappy relationships, fluff
a/n: i will be making this a mini-series. maybe 3-4 parts?
masterlist | oneshots
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Hawkins, Indiana. The dreadful town in the middle of nowhere. Farmlands, hillbillies, and rich freaks who loved to tell you they were “popular”. I hated it here, but what else was I supposed to do? I’m in my senior year and refuse to not finish just to get a GED. I am Max Mayfield’s older sister and when she was just a toddler our parents split. Mom took Max and Dad took me, but I fought to spend the summers with Mom and Max. Every summer I did except for last summer which is how everything went down on both of our ends. Max dealing with underworld demons and me dealing with my own. I practically lived alone because of how much Dad was out. I took care of myself and learned to do it all. Until one day at the beginning of summer, right before I was about to leave for Hawkins, this young bimbo walked into our house. She looked like a hooker, a gold digger, and someone with major daddy issues. That summer I found out my father was living a whole lie apart from Max and me. He created this whole other family, and by “family” it was Dad, this bimbo, and two dogs. I won’t lie, I contemplated taking the dogs. He told me to get out and move back in with our Mom. All summer I packed everything I owned, black-mailed him into getting what I needed to take care of Max and me and left. I took the eleven-hour car trip from New York to Indiana. 
I pulled through the trailer park entrance, making my way to the one mobile home that I knew too well. Putting the car in park, I got out taking in the surroundings and awful smell. From the front window, I saw Max visibly happy to see me. She ran out before I could run to her and we both fell in a tight hug.
“Y/N. I missed you. Never leave me again.” Max mumbled into my neck.
“I missed you too, kid. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.” I smiled holding her closer.
Luckily the trailer was a two-bedroom trailer, so I shared one with Max while Mom got the other room. She worked long hours and late nights. Barely being home for Max, so being home is like I came for Max. Which I did, because if it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t have returned. The place still looked the same as the last time I was in it. Brown, brown, and oh yeah, more brown. Max set up a bed for me in the corner of her room while she took the other side. Part of me felt bad that she doesn’t have her own privacy anymore, but based on the late-night calls about her nightmares and night terrors, I know she wouldn’t mind. I set my things down and turned to sit on the bed.
“One perk of Dad bribing me to leave is that I got the car. So, wanna go for a drive? Get out of here and take a breather?” I said leaning back on my hands.
“Hell yeah.” Max sighed in relief. I knew she needed someone to support her and that is who I am going to be. Her main support while Mom was out supporting us. I took Max driving down farmlands and back roads that lead to a lake. I parked and we spent the night watching the sunset before heading home.
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School started within the next week or so from my arrival. The feeling of going to Hawkins High made both of us physically sick. When the first day came we regretted getting out of bed. I pulled into the parking lot and looked over at Max. Her face went from upset to straight disgust.
“It’s going to be okay. I’m here with you the entire time. Find me and I’ll be there for you. Maybe find your friends? Dustin was the sweetest to you, he can give you some kind of comfort.” I said gently squeezing her hand. 
“Thanks, Y/N. I just want to get it over with and go home.” Max said, giving me a tight-lip smile. I knew this year was going to be harder on her than anyone, but if I could make some part of her day memorable, I will.
“Listen to your music. Remember to take breathers. And I love you!” I yelled at her walking towards the school and away from my car. She laughed, playfully flipping me off. I grabbed my bag, following her into school when this guy came out of nowhere and I bumped into him.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you.” I said picking up a pack of cigarettes and handing them back.
“No, it’s fine darling.” The voice said as our hands touched. That voice, I know that voice. It was familiar. I look up to see a curly, long-haired man with a metal look. Jeans, jean and leather jacket, a bandana, and a chain connected to his back pocket and belt loops. Only one kind of person in Hawkins looked like that
“Eddie?” I questioned, finally getting to see his face.
“Y/N?” He questioned back, looking at me.
“Oh my gosh, it is you.” I smiled wide. Eddie and I used to be friends when we were younger and every summer we would hang out when I came home. Calling each other wasn’t an option because of my father, so we would write one another and I kept everyone.
“It really is. Come here.” Eddie enveloped his arms around me, holding me close. I wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him back.
“When did you get back? I would’ve helped you move back in.” Eddie kept looking over my face as if something happened.
“Last week, but I know you were working hard at the plant. I didn’t want to come over and bother you just to bring in heavy items.” I said walking inside with high school with him.
“You know I would do anything to help you. Don’t hesitate again.” He said seriously.
“Oh yeah? Just so you can go through my panties again like last summer?” I said standing in front of him at his locker.
“You weren’t supposed to be that fast in the bathroom.” Eddie’s face went red.
“You admit it!” I said laughing and walking away.
“No, Y/N. Get back here.” He laughed following me to our homeroom class.
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A few months passed and it was late fall. Fall in Hawkins was similar to what a New England falls resembles. Beautiful colored leaves, colder weather, and a vibe of dark academia. Eddie and I skipped the last class which was just a Study Hall and headed to his secret picnic table in the forest. We’ve been talking about anything and everything. More than we could write in our letters.
“It wasn’t my ideal situation to come back home to basically become a mother figure to my younger sister or be her keeper, but she’s my best friend. I love that girl with everything in me.” I smiled thinking about Max. “I’d do anything for her.” 
“That’s admirable. I feel the same way about Wayne.” Eddie said, leaning over the table on his elbows.
“I haven’t seen Wayne since we were kids. How has he been?” I asked following suit and leaning my elbows on the table. His eyes sparkled at the mention of his beloved uncle.
“He’s doing good. They switched him to the night shift down at the plant, but other than being tired, he’s doing good. I can’t believe you remembered our last conversation about him.” Eddie said looking at me. Just looking into his eyes made me weak.
“Of course, I did, Eddie. I care about you and Wayne so much. You’re very close to me so I’m going to pay attention to what you say. Even if you ramble on about how “Henderson” is annoying you about winning the last game.” I laughed, smiling at him.
“It was valid!” Eddie was very enthusiastic about his Dungeons and Dragons meetings. “Do you still listen to rock music?” He asked playing with his rings.
“I do and some metal. The ones you recommended. I really like Metallica.” I smiled while looking at him wearing a shit-eatin’ grin knowing I paid attention to his requests. “You know I have kept every single one of our letters.” 
“Really?”
“Yeah. I love that we started that at a young age. It’s very endearing. I mean who would’ve pegged you for the kind of guy to write letters to his childhood best friend while being the town’s metalhead freak, but because he plays a fantasy game.” I looked him in the eyes again.
“Don’t forget to mention satanic cultists too.” He chuckled. “I’ve kept all of mine too. Wayne tells me it's because I’m in love with you.” He blushed saying those words.
“You? In love with me?” I chuckled. That’s funny because it’s not true. Eddie wasn’t in love with me, he’s my friend.
“What if he’s not wrong? Would it be so bad if I was?” Eddie leaned over the table again, this time getting closer.
“No,” I gulped. “Would it be bad if I said I am too?” He’s showing the signals. Either show mine too and get rejected or finally be able to be in love with Eddie. My hands were shaking from this interaction. I didn’t get many in New York. The girls were prettier and the guys weren't Eddie. 
“No, darling. It’d be great, so I can do this.” Eddie closed the gap between us and kissed me. I froze for a quick second, letting my brain register what was happening. I raised my hand to hold his face and kissed him back.
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thorsenmark · 19 days ago
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Joining Me on My Adventures with Nature in Jasper National Park
flickr
Joining Me on My Adventures with Nature in Jasper National Park by Mark Stevens Via Flickr: A setting looking to the south-southeast while taking in views across the waters of Leach Lake with a backdrop of mountains (Whirlpool Mountain). This was along Alberta Highway 93A in Jasper National Park.
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e1dritchjackal0pe · 10 months ago
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ꜰʟᴏᴘᴘᴇᴅ-ᴅʀᴀᴡ
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Summary: After a bit of bad news and a horrible reminder of your current reality, your mood takes a decline. And when Severen offers to take you out on a joyride, the night doesn't exactly go as planned.
Notes: 6.9k words. Not proofread.
Warnings: AFAB reader. Cannon typical violence, blood and horror. Severen being Severen . . . But he's trying. Just a little something while I fight writer's block.
Part I, Part II, Part IV
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God dammit, Severen. 
You been finding yourself thinking that more than you'd like. Who are you kidding, you've been thinking that same thought since you've been forced into this little motley crew. But Jesus, you could seriously wring his neck right now. You're trying not to give it away, to express what you're thinking but your poker face has never been all that practiced. It's something that Jesse has remarked on more than once. Usually while you're all circled around a table, gulping down old warm whiskey that burns on its way down, with a set of playing cards fanned out in each of your hands. But it applies outside of a card game as well, and you're pretty sure that you're showing all of your tells. 
But in his true self-absorbed, cocky fashion, Severen either hasn't taken notice to your obvious distress and irritation, or more undoubtedly, doesn't care. He's too busy leaning himself against the inside of the driver's side door like he might crawl out of the window, lazily grinning at the officer almost like he's flirting. Almost? No, he's definitely flirting and the man in the tan uniform looks like he might be getting a little flustered underneath Severen's attention. The tips of his ears have flushed red, and he has a rosy blush splashed across his cheeks like there's a chill in the air. But this is no winter night. It's warm and muggy. The night air might as well as be steamed soup. It's not the usual western states that Hooker gang typically frequent. The temperature doesn't drop and get cooler with the descent of the sun. It stays hot and sweltering no matter if it's day or night here. 
That blush is all from being flustered. It would have been sweet if Severen probably wasn't planning on killing the guy. It would be sweet if said guy wasn't a cop, and your face wasn't on missing posters and being broadcasted on news channels. 
Jesse had nearly gone into hysterics when Homer had called out for everyone's attention a few nights back from his place in front of the hotel TV set. You had all collectively turned your concentration from the tabletop, covered with cigarette ash and playing cards (and a few wadded up balls of bloody toilet paper that Severen had used to 'clean' his shirt off with) to the screen, where a blond woman with a bob and a red lip that was a few shades too bright for her was busy giving a report on a missing person. Which would have been fine, (well not fine - it still would have been awful-) if that missing person hadn't had been you. 
It was a photograph of you placed in the corner of the screen. A picture that had been taken of you only a few years back while you were on a vacation at you parents' seasonal lake house on the waterside of Lake George. You were in a soft blue summer dress - robin blue, specifically, one of your favorites. You were beaming at the camera, the camera that you remembered your father had been behind, and your head was tilted against a shoulder, nestling against the pale fabric that covered it. The person you were standing beside was cut out of the image, no doubt to fit it on the screen, but even then, you knew it was Sam.  
You could still recall that day clearly. You had spent a good majority of it out on the lake, reclining on one of your father's boats and sunbathing on the dock, which at one point Sam had picked you up from and tossed you off an into the cool crystalline water with a splash. 
It had been a fond memory of you and him at one point, but now it makes you shudder. 
You had felt a lot of things when you saw your face staring back at you from the TV screen. Surprise, concern, guilt, regret but most notably there was a twisted sort of relief. Relief because they hadn't given up on you. They hadn't accepted the possibility that maybe you had died out there in the desert. They were looking for you. But then that brief flutter of joy was snapped shut between sharp, poisonous claws. This wasn't a good thing. You could never go back to them, not as you are now. Not as you'll be until the sun swells up in the sky and scalds the earth until sears like a piece of bleeding roadkill on the searing asphalt of a backroad. And now they had hope. Hope that you were still alive and there was a chance that they'd be able to find you and bring you home. 
This was awful. This was horrible. It was bullshit, and for the first time you had hoped that they had just assumed you were dead. 
Ever since the news incident, Jesse had been on edge, and as a result he had forbade you from going out by yourself. For being out for too long. He even tried to get you to dye your hair and after you had vehemently refused, he had settled for you at least wearing a cap whenever you went out. It was too much. Too suffocating. And all of his constant, paranoid hovering and rules had made you feel just like you had before you had officially been accepted into the group. Restricted and caged. 
As a result, you have admittedly been irritable as of late. Skulking around with a perpetual storm cloud looming over you, that had no one had been able to break. Not Caleb with his equally oblivious but somehow capable advice; not Mae with her tentative, dry humor. Not even Diamondback. Who was typically good at dragging you out of your funk with her motherly guidance and sharp wit. 
At one point they all stopped trying. 
You had been appreciative of their attempts at giving you space. Of letting you sort out your grief and frustration on your own time. But of course, there was one person in particular who couldn't be asked to respect emotional boundaries or personal space. Who practically harassed and irritated you into leaving the motel to get out of the stuffy room. Which was unfortunately how you ended up sitting on the passenger seat of a stolen Corvette on a lonely road while that 'particular person' was busy flirting with the police officer who had pulled you both over. In a stolen car whose owner was lying dead in a ditch. 
The poor guy's blood was still in the vehicle's interior. Splattered across the leather seats and nylon floorboards in thick red stains, and your only saving grace was that the upholstery was black and that the blotches and smears had dried enough so that they weren't reflecting in the glow of the cop's flashlight. But you could still smell the sweetened iron in the air from the carnage. And you could only send a prayer up to the universe or whoever was out there that it was only your amplified senses that made it so easily to pick up the scent of blood. That his dull, human nose wouldn't be able to detect the aroma of damp pennies and rust. 
And while you were one good nudge away from tripping headfirst into a panic attack, Severen appeared to be having the time of his life while he tried to come up with a convincing excuse as to why he didn't have his license on his person while operating a vehicle. And why he was doing fifty-six over the speed limit. 
"Oh, c'mon, I was just havin' fun!" He declared coyly and his mouth twisted into something all too satisfied and full of teeth. Then his voice dipped down so low that it might as well as been a purr.  "You don't like to have fun?"  
Shameless. Completely shameless. 
But as much as you hate how much he likes to toy with his food, it is serving as some sort of distraction at least. The cop - damn, even with your eyesight it's still impossible to make out the name etched into his name tag from the glare of his light - shuffles on his feet awkwardly. He clearly doesn't know how to handle Severen's teasing. 
"Fun?" The cop echos, bright hazel eyes squinting at Severen in a perplexed type of disbelief. "You consider speeding down a pitch-black road in the middle of night, without a license 'fun'?" 
"Well, I consider a lotta things fun, Sheriff." You could scoff at him if you cared enough to. My god, Severen practically bats his eyes at the guy, coquette and cartoonish. 
"I'm not a sher- listen, you're in for a lot of repercussions for this. " 
But Severen doesn't take it as a threat or a warning, instead he looks positively delighted. Beaming up at the cop like he had just been told a hilarious joke. And the officer doesn't seem to share his amusement, glaring at Severen perturbed and exasperated, even with that blush still painted across his cheeks. There's a strained sort of tension rising now - not the good kind - and you're internally scrambling on figuring out how to defuse the situation, but your brain is simultaneously empty and crowded. 
Then you're leaning forward so that you can be seen from the cop's perspective, ducking down low enough to peer at him from the open window. "I'm sorry my boyfriend, he's a complete idiot - super forgetful!" You just blurt the first excuse that comes to the forefront, and you immediately have regrets as soon as you see the pleased smile that pulls at Severen's lips. Boyfriend, really? Out of everything you could have come up with, that's what you settled with?  And apparently feels the need to sell your pretend relationship, taking it as an invitation to toss his arm across the back of your seat. 
"He was just trying to impress me, " you say lamely, swallowing around the nervous lump in your throat. And for one, long horrendous moment the officer doesn't say anything. The world is just silent apart from the distant sound of crickets chirping and sway of leaves rusting in the musky, perfumed air. And you can feel your gut sinking, your skin prickling with discomfort while paranoia trills down the notches of your spine.
What if recognizes you? Some tiny, worried voice murmurs in the back of your mind. What if he's seen you on the TV? 
 His eyebrow pinching as his face shapes into a scowl, a tense unconvinces expression taking over his features. "Well, I hope you'll still be impressed with him while he's doing jail time." 
And despite the stifling, tense energy that's dipped over you all, you can't help but sigh with some sort of relief. It doesn't seem that he's placed you. That he knows that you're a missing person, and actually feel thankful. 
You open your mouth to say something - what you're not even sure - but then before you can even form the words, Severen is reaching for the handle and swinging the driver side door open, and with it the energy completely shifts like a coin spinning on its edge and clattering on its side with a pronounced clatter. The door slams into the cop's hips, harshly striking against his front, making him rock back on his feet and forcing him to wobble back with a harsh swear. It makes him drop his flashlight and it lands on the ground somewhere near his boots where it casts elongated, dramatic shadows across the both of them. The brightness of the light almost makes everything monochrome with only the rotating flash of the neon red and blue from the cruisers siren to break up the monotony. 
"Sir, get back in the vehic-" 
But Severen of course doesn't listen, rising up out of the car while he chuckles under his breath. A sound that immediately fills you with dread. Nothing good ever comes from his joy. And even with your vision blocked from the expanse of Severen's back, you already know what's about to happen. You can hear it in the cops wavering tone. He tries to sound commanding as he warns Severen to stop. To take a step back with his hands in the air, but his voice is shaken and broken around the edges, expressing his clear discomfort. And you can smell his fear on the air. Sharp and pungent, but almost sugary. But as enticing as the scent is, it's also a stark reminder that you were once in officer's shoes. Locked in Severen's wild, inescapable glare while he grinned down at you like a wild animal with sharp teeth. 
You know that realistically, you can't save the cop. Those who survive crossing paths with the Hooker clan is few and far between. And it's usually amounted to sheer luck and circumstance, and unfortunately for him, you know that he won't be making it out alive tonight. Not even while you pull yourself into the driver's seat to poke your head out of the open doorway. 
"Severen, please, just let him go. " 
It falls on deaf ears, only serving to amuse to Severen. But it does trigger a set of trilling giggles, which is honestly worse than if he just would have told you to shut up. You'd rather he would have insulted you. 
"Oh, c'mon, I ain't gonna do nothing bad to him." 
Liar. 
And then you hear the cop speak again. Trying to sound imposing but failing miserably. "Sir, I need you to move back and raise your hands where I can see them, or I will shoot." 
You know that'll be no good. And you wonder if he's reaching for his gun now. If his fingers are brushing against the grip as a means to warn Severen and comfort himself. Maybe he's finally noticed all of the patches and badges from slain law enforcement on Severen's jacket and has finally placed some of the tiny puzzle pieces together. 
And Severen of course doesn't heed the warning. But then again, to him it isn't one. To him, it's just a suggestion - if even that. He keeps coming towards the officer with relaxed but calculated movements, like a predator closing in on a wounded prey that's been backed into a corner.  
"But officer, I'm just tryin' to have a bit of fun." 
You hate how relaxed he sounds. How pleased and excited he is. It's the same tone he had used with you once. He had taunted you too, just as he's doing to this man who was trying to do his job. Who was just trying to live his life and happened to pull the wrong car over on the wrong night. It wasn't right. It wasn't fair. But Severen toying with people wasn't a new development by any means. It was an unfortunate part of his character. A defining attribute even. In the near couple weeks that you've been dragged up and down the highways and rugged backroads of the U.S. you've seen Severen - hell you've seen all of them - hunt and kill. Tearing into their victims with a remorseless ferocity.
And with your resistance to feed, you've taken up on eating off the rest of the group's scraps, drinking up the remaining gulps of blood in their victims' lifeless bodies. But even then, with your reluctant participation, of witnessing the same violence almost every night, it never makes it any easier. There's always that deep chasm of guilt and self-hatred that grows and expands with every bit of torn viscera. Stretching wider after each slaughter. And you know that if you managed to save this guy that it wouldn't do shit to redeem you. It wouldn't cleanse the blood from your hands. It would be like putting a band-aid on a bullet hole. You've seen too much. Done too much. Been complacent. But maybe, just maybe you at least save one person, or give him a head start at least. 
And then what? 
No matter which way you bend this someone has to lose in the end. Severen won't let this guy go, no matter how convincing you try and talk. And this cop isn't going to let the two of you just up and leave. Not with all of the numerous crimes committed. Not with how outright aggressive Severen is being. It's a wrap all around. Someone has to come out on top in this situation. And Severen will fight tooth and nail to make sure that it's him. 
The atmosphere is fully charged now, prickling with something heavy and fuzzy, like TV static and adrenaline. It forces you to shuffle forward in the seat, the back of your jeans squeak against the leather when you push yourself up to rise. 
"Severen, I'm serious, " you warn, trying to sound firm even though you feel anything but. " Just leave him alone. He's just trying to do his job."
Once you're on your feet you can finally see past the breadth of his shoulder. The cop looks rattled. Completely out of his depth. The hand that's hovering near his holster, just over his gun tremors just a bit. So slightly that if you weren't looking for it, you'd never notice. He's rigid in a way the feigns confidence and authority, and he's just barely holding the facade together. Everything about him screams 'rookie.'  
"Don' worry, " Severen coos. Mockingly. And he raises his arms up in the air like he's complying with the cop's request. But you know better. It's all a show for him, something to be used to just twist the metaphorical knife in deeper. To try and lure the officer into a false sense of security, so that he can rip the rug out from underneath him later. "I'll play nice. " 
Though, even then he doesn't stop his approach, herding the cop back off the shoulder of the road and onto the grass. Back towards the lithe, skeletal trees that rise towards the dark sky with their limbs dripping with Spanish moss. And you can hear the random pebbles and sticks crunching underneath the cop's boots with each uncertain step backwards. You could only imagine what Severen looked like right now. The flashlight was probably reflecting in his eyes, making them glint with that animal sort of glimmer and his mouth was likely stretched in that way that's both a snarl and a grin. 
"What are ya gonna do with that? " He taunts openly. "Gonna shoot me with your little toy. Go on then - pull the trigger. " 
The cop's eyes have widened. Perhaps with realization that he might actually have to fire on the man who's steadily approaching him. And a small blossom of empathy unfurls from the pit of your stomach.  He doesn't want to do this; you can easily see that. But then Severen moves. Twitches, and reaches his arms forward like he meant to reach for the guy. The entire movement didn't have real force behind it. No true intent, like a sort of joke - or at least what Severen qualifies as a joke. But the cop is clearly (understandably) on edge, and it was enough for him to draw his gun from its holster and fire a shot. 
It rang out like someone had lit a firework. The close proximity of it rattles your eardrums in a way that hurts and makes your body jerk like you had been jabbed by an electrical current. The sharp ringing blares before it dips into a muted, thick hum, and it's like you're listening to everything from behind a thick wall. But you can still see perfectly fine, even while you're disoriented. Severen hardly moves an inch from the impact of the bullet, but it had struck him if the way that he's holding his coat open is any indication. And you can see his lips spreading into a cruel grin when he smears his fingers his abdomen and lifts them up close to his eyes to inspect. Sure enough, they come up stained with a glistening red. 
He didn't so much as flinch when he was struck, and surprise is clearly expressed on the cop's face as he watches Severen shrug off a bullet wound like it was nothing. And instead of screaming pain, he's hooting into the humid night air like he'd just been told a joke. " I tell you what, there ain't a single shot of whiskey that'll wake you up that will!" He hollers and stomps a boot on the ground, absolutely thrumming with adrenaline. "Really lights a fire under yer ass!" 
But even with all the humor and the carefree way he's carrying himself you can see the tension in his shoulders. Jesus, he's going to do it. He's going to kill him. 
"Severen - don't. " 
"Sir, please just step- " 
That one fleeting moment seems to pass by in a blink, but it's also frozen in time, forcing you to relive all those minute details with open eyes. It's like chaos. Both you and the officer pleading with Severen to comply. To just stay still. But of course, he doesn't do that. That would require patience and humanity. Instead, he's lunging himself forward. Springing on his feet with a quickness that's difficult to track - even with your new senses. And then suddenly he just there. He's clinging to the cop's body like a parasite, his head lowered into the crook of the man's throat, no doubt actively gulping down rivulets of blood from the fresh wound he had made there with his lethal teeth. 
The cop is clearly frozen in shock and his head lulls uselessly on its neck. His eyes. Those are pinned on you. Somewhat unseeing and glazed over, but there's still a noticeable layer of fear underneath that murky cloud.  And you just stand there and watch like you always do, while Severen continues to drain him of blood. You see the light drain from his eyes and fade out into that torpid stare, and you think that you can feel some human part of you detach and fizzle out with it. 
You aren't sure how long you stand there, underneath the intense shifting projection of azure and scarlet, listening to the way that Severen's throat clicks around mouthfuls of blood. It's disgusting. You have to move your attention from it, opting to study the tree line and the swaying branches instead. But you can hear the way that his body thuds when Severen lets his body fall. It makes you flinch, sucking in a breath to try and steel your nerves. You don't want to look. You don't want to see it. Your body apparently has other plans because your gaze darts down to where he lays on the ground in a lax heap. Giving you no other option but to witness what's left of him.  And in the glare of the flashlight the gold of his name tag blinks, outlining the font printed there. 
Mueller. 
His last name was Mueller.
You don't know why it struck you. But it always does. Learning the names of the people who die in the Hooker clan's wake. The people that you kill. That you watch die. There's something about putting a name to a face that solidifies it. That bears down the full weight it all onto you, and you don't think you'll be able to crawl out from underneath it. 
And something heated in you rises when you see Severen hunkers down to unpin Mueller's badge from the front of his uniform. And he just holds it there in the cradle of his palm, spreading a drop of blood that had splattered across it over the front of the shiny brass star with his thumb with a smile on his lips. Another medal for his collection, it seems. After his inspection he's finally rising from his crouched position and moving away from the body. 
"Which one do you think we should take?" 
The sound of his southern drawl pulled you out of your spiraling thoughts. He's turned to face you now with fresh coat of glittering crimson smudged across his mouth, making his jack o' lantern like leer all the more menacing. 
"What?" You just barely manage to croak it out. God, your tongue feels like lead. 
He looks at you like you're slow, his forehead creasing as he nods his head in the direction of the cop car. " The cruiser or the vette?" 
Neither, you want to say. But you know that it would be an uphill battle, one that you wouldn't win. Not unless you wanted to walk back to the Inn by yourself. Which honestly, doesn't sound like an awful idea right about now. Instead, you just shrug, not bothering to hide your exasperation and absolutely doing your best to ignore the disappointed look that crosses Severen's face. He's like a kicked puppy sometimes. A rabid one, but a puppy, nonetheless. 
Unfortunately, you can see the utter joy that sparks in his eyes when he turns to ogle his chosen ride, and your stomach plumets just a bit. You should have known, honestly. His curiosity can only be piqued for so long. He shoots you one last mirthful smirk before he sharply turns on the heels of his cowboy boots and practically skips to the cop car; his spurs jingling with each bounding step. Absolutely thrilled and unbothered to leave the pretty Rally Red Corvette behind for an old cruiser. You can't say that you're surprised. 
"Let's get a move on, slowpoke!" He calls with just the faintest hint of laughter before disappearing inside the cab of the vehicle. But you drag your feet regardless, opening the passenger door with about the enthusiasm as a kid being hauled to the doctor's office. As soon as you're secured inside the car, Severen is laying on the gas pedal, spraying loose rocks and dust from the spinning back tires, and he just narrowly misses careening into the rear end of the Corvette; jerking the wheel to correct the cruiser with the stinging burn of hot rubber and squealing tires on pavement.  
You hate to say that you're already growing desensitized to his psychotic driving, but there's still that nervous cluster of butterflies that drop in your stomach whenever he gets in the front seat of a car. The first time you had been with him while he was the one to drive, you were certain that it was probably going to be your last night on earth. He had run several red lights, nearly t-boning a passing truck in the process and took out a mailbox. At first you didn't know what to make of his skills or competency behind the wheel of a car which you could only label as downright abhorrent. You figured that it maybe came from a lack of interest, but that theory was quickly expelled by the sheer number of times that he's gone out of his way to steal vehicles to take on impromptu joy rides. And he's also driven in the stead of the others during shift rotations when traveling, and he's driven well. Perfectly even. 
And because of that you've come to the conclusion that he drives terribly on purpose. For some sort of fucked up thrill. Like an extreme version of bumper cars . . . that has the potential to cause casualties. 
You honestly can't say why you keep willingly placing yourself inside a car while Severen's the one operating. You aren't sure why you go anywhere with him, honestly. It always ends up in violence and senseless bloodshed. He isn't good for your patience or anxiety, but as much as it pains you to admit it, he's . . . entertaining, almost. 
Even now, with the radio that he had turned up to absolute limit, spewing music out from its straining speakers while he sings along at the top of his lungs and playfully raps at the steering wheel with his fingers. It's amusing to see him like this in a morbid sort of way. If it weren't for the splashes of blood staining his clothes it would have been endearing to see him in these sorts of moments. Even though he's erratic and out of control at the best of times. But your options for socializing are often slim, considering that the others are typically too caught up in each other's affairs to make for an enjoyable night out. Though admittedly the clan does consist of two couples, both of which seem to be permanently fixed in the honeymoon phase. And Homer is Homer. Entirely - but understandably - too grouchy to even try and nudge into a conversation that doesn't somehow manage to irk him or remind him that he's indefinitely trapped inside the body of a child despite the many decades he's lived.  
That usually leaves you with Severen of all people. 
"So what's got your panties all up in a twist lately?" Severen all but shouts over the music but makes no move to turn it down. "Is it 'cause of the whole 'missin' person' thing?" 
You could definitely strangle him now. Just reach over the center console and wrap your hands around his throat, even though it wouldn't do much (with the whole 'not having to breathe' thing) it would still make you feel better. Ease some of your frustration at least. But you settle for reaching over and twisting the volume dial down on the radio until the obnoxious song is down to a low whisper, and all while pinning him with the most venomous glare that you can manage, hoping that all of your anger and vexation truly reads from it. Still Severen appears to be blissfully unaware or unaffected by your apparent irritation while he waits for your answer, which is a seething, blunt, "no shit."  "Don't go and get all pissy and fussy, it was just a question." 
You have to scoff at that. "You do realize telling me not to get pissed off, is going to piss me off." 
"Aw, but I jus' can't help myself, " he teases; eyes twinkling. " You're so pretty when you're angry." 
"Oh, God. " You groan, moving your attention away from him to tiredly stare out at the passing forest, catching glimpses of the trees that stand like ancient, cloaked figures.  "Remind me again why I agreed to come out with you?" 
"Cause you love me so much." You do almost laugh from that, and it isn't because you find him funny. " Don't hold it against yourself, I'm quite gorgeous." 
"Maybe if I was blind, " you mutter. Surprisingly, he doesn't respond, and the cabin of the car is filled with heavy silence, with only the sound of tires coasting over pebbles and cracks to fill the void. And now that you have it- the quiet, you aren't sure if you like it. It leaves you to put too much attention on all of the thoughts rattling around in your skull. It lets you think of crystal blue waters, warm balmy summer light dappling through fluttering leaves, unrestrained laughter while you huddle around a bonfire and burn marshmallows until they're a crisp abomination. All of the things that you'll never get to have again. 
"What are we doing out here?" You ask. Anything to get him chattering again. God, you never thought you'd see the day that that would happen.
"You seemed like it could do ya good, gettin' away from the others." He says. It shocks you to say the least. Leaves you staring at him dumbly, waiting for him to make a joke and tell you that he was just playing around and that he didn't mean it, but it never comes. And you aren't sure how to take it. Sure, Severen has always tried in his own way to try and help you properly adjust to your new life. Granted his methods are often unorthodox and a bit . . . violent in nature. But it's usually because it serves him in some way. He rarely does anything without personal gain in mind. Whether it be emotional or physical, Severen is nothing if not self-serving. 
He must feel the way that your eyes are boring into him in a perplexed way, because he's glancing over from the road with his eyebrows furrowed. "What?" It comes out harsh; confused.
You can tell his hackles are rising, and all you can do is shake your head wordlessly before you manage to say something. "Nothing . . . " You purse your lips. "I'm just surprised is all." 
"What the hell for?" 
"I mean, you aren't always the most caring person, " you say gently. 
"I'm plenty caring!" He insists, glaring over at you with blood still smeared across his face. 
"Okay, " you agree. Mostly to appease him but you can tell by the way that he scoffs that he doesn't believe it, and he grumbles something under his breath. Too low to hear, but you're sure that's a creative and colorful string of words like usual. 
"What is it about it that you miss so much?" He says suddenly. You try racking your brain to figure out just what it is but come up completely empty. And when he catches your confused expression, he sighs like explaining is a chore. Like you're the idiot for not understanding him. 
"Ya know, your life before." 
It feels like a frigid bucket of water had been dunked over your head. You aren't even sure how to approach this, or if you even want to have this conversation with Severen, as tactless and brash as he is. You know that it's next to impossible to try and find sympathy in him. His human life was so long ago. Hell, he's been . . . whatever he is - whatever you are - for longer than he was a human. Trying to get him to care would probably be about as successful as trying to teach a mean streak out of a fighting dog. Not a lost cause necessarily but you aren't sure if you have the patience to even try. And honestly the fact that he even has to ask why you're so distressed makes you realize how out of touch he even is. But on the flip side it also shows that he might be at least willing to try. And that seems to be enough to dampen some of the searing anger simmering in your chest. 
"I don't even know . . . " You answer truthfully. "All of it. Even the things that I used to hate. Having to wake up at 7 am, doing taxes, washing dishes. I'd take all of back, right in a heartbeat." 
Once again, another bout of silence falls over you both. Stifling and awkward for no reason, and a part of you wonders if you've actually managed to offend him. Or hurt what little bit of feelings have managed to survive all of the years that he's been alive. But you also can't find it in yourself to be completely guilty over it if you have. And there's some dark little piece of you that relishes in the fact that you may have cut him somewhere deep; to get him to feel even the faintest bit like you have for the past couple of weeks. 
"I've heard you talk about them, " he says cryptically, and you have to turn to look at him for clarification. "Your family. Your parents and your . . . ex. They all sounded like a buncha overbearin' pricks." 
"Hey!" You snap, irritation flaring. "Say whatever you want about him, but I don't want to hear a word about my parents."
And thankfully that seems to be enough for him to drop his questions. For all of two seconds. 
"What is it that you liked about - what was his name? - Sonny?" He asks. 
You really aren't sure where all of this is coming from, and truth be told, you don't really like it. Why now all of a sudden, he has an interest in your old life, after tearing it away from you and making your day-to-day existence hell. But regardless, you find yourself responding all the same. 
"Do you mean Sam? " You squint at him through the dark. "I was young, and he was sweet, and he actually talked to me. "You confess, shifting in your seat. "We used to spend hours just talking about nothing in particular. It would make me feel like we were the only people in the world."
"But not anymore?" 
It's a simple set of words that shove you back into all of those lonely, isolated days of your engagement. All the excuses for being home late, all of the impromptu business meetings and outings with his friends, and towards the end he didn't even want to touch you. And there was always a reason for that, too. Exhaustion from the job, headaches, and sometimes he expressed an outright lack of interest. All of which you'd blow off. Tell yourself not to take personally. That he'd come to you whenever he was ready to. But he never did. He went to other women for that instead. And it left you scrambling. Trying to navigate a world where the love of your life had suddenly turned his back on you and began treating you like a stranger instead of a lover and confidant. And you couldn't even turn to your own mother or father or even friends as a shoulder to cry on. To express your worries. You were just being a paranoid finance.
It happens, they had all said. He'll come back to you eventually.
You had never felt more isolated in your entire life. Had never been lonelier than you had in those final months. And the reminder leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. 
"No, not anymore," you answer honestly. 
"I could always kill him for you." 
That blindsides you completely. Sends you reeling from the abruptness of it. Yes, Severen threatening murder came as easily as breathing for him, and actually acting out on it was even easier. But him threatening to do it for you was completely new, and you weren't sure how to handle that. In fact, you didn't even want to sit and unpack that little bit of information. 
"No!" You exclaim, and you swear that you can see his shoulders deflate in disappointment. Hypothetically the idea sounds appealing, in some distant alternate reality, but here and now you couldn't imagine siccing Severen on anyone. Not even the man who had singlehandedly spat and torn apart your trust like it was nothing. "Just, no." 
"Do you want some ice cream?" 
"What?" 
"You heard me." He replies quickly." I'm pretty sure we passed a gas station a coupla miles back." 
It's another strange offer. Completely out of the blue and one that you wouldn't have seen coming in a million years. Not from Severen at least. But it seems that he's just full of surprises tonight. 
"Why would I want ice cream?" Truthfully the idea of it doesn't sound bad by any means. It would be nice to do something as normal as going into a store somewhere and just buying a Drumstick from some old reach in freezer or something. But the proposition is so bizarre that you have to fish for some sort of explanation.  
Severen just shrugs, all blase. "Might make ya feel better." 
And there it is again. His apparent desire to appease your dwindling mood. It makes you want to ask him if someone put him up to it. If Diamondback or Mae had come to him and pressured him into taking you out to get some time away from everyone. But some tiny part of you keeps yourself from interrogating him with a rapid fire. You're fine with living in a bit of ignorance. You're too tired to try and figure out if he's just doing this because he had been forced to. And as much as you'd hate to admit it, you'd like to think that he actually wanted to be out here with you tonight; even though he isn't exactly your favorite person in the world. And the idea that he did truly take time out of his night to even try to cheer you up (in his own twisted way) has something syrupy and warm tingling inside your chest. A feeling that you're absolutely going to ignore right now. 
You could tell him no. To turn around and drop you back off at the Inn. But you would be lying if you aren't interested to see where accepting this little olive branch of his might go. If Severen truly does have the potential to be compassionate. 
"Sure." You say, reaching down towards the volume dial on the radio, twisting it up so high that you have to shout over the sound of a blaring guitar solo. "I'd love some!" 
Severen turns his head and grins at you. Bloodied lips stretching over sharp teeth and the blue of his eyes gleam in a feral kind of way. Delight and mischief twinkling in the pair, but there's the hint of something that might be fondness too. And then he leans to flip a switch on the control box and the wail of the siren comes to life in an obnoxious cry. But you don't have the heart to tell him to turn it off now. Instead, a smile of your own tugs on your lips when he presses down on the gas, prompting the car to charge forward with a guttural purr from the engine. 
He howls in the air like a madman, tossing his arm in the air to punch the roof of the car like he's unable to control his excitement. 
"Then strap in, babydoll!" 
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sgiandubh · 11 months ago
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Sunday sounds: Third Advent Gaudete Sunday - Joy
This severely traffic jammed Sunday may be plagued with hustle, bustle and the final scramble to Christmas, but it is time to light the pink Shepherds' Candle.
These Most Humble of Them All were also the first to be told something that forever changed our hearts and minds, and immediately sent them on the road to Bethlehem:
'And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.' (Luke,  2:10-12).
Despite and sometimes even against anything else, this Sunday is about an overwhelming, definitive feeling of Joy:
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We do not need complicated words to describe what we think or feel on this particular day. This is why, and rather uncharacteristically, I have chosen John Rutter's deceptively simple and modern tune. It closely resonates with John Betjeman's Christmas poem - and I could never resist Betjeman:
The bells of waiting Advent ring, The Tortoise stove is lit again And lamp-oil light across the night Has caught the streaks of winter rain In many a stained-glass window sheen From Crimson Lake to Hookers Green.
The holly in the windy hedge And round the Manor House the yew Will soon be stripped to deck the ledge, The altar, font and arch and pew, So that the villagers can say 'The church looks nice' on Christmas Day.
Provincial Public Houses blaze, Corporation tramcars clang, On lighted tenements I gaze, Where paper decorations hang, And bunting in the red Town Hall Says 'Merry Christmas to you all'.
And London shops on Christmas Eve Are strung with silver bells and flowers As hurrying clerks the City leave To pigeon-haunted classic towers, And marbled clouds go scudding by The many-steepled London sky.
And girls in slacks remember Dad, And oafish louts remember Mum, And sleepless children's hearts are glad. And Christmas-morning bells say 'Come!' Even to shining ones who dwell Safe in the Dorchester Hotel.
And is it true?  And is it true, This most tremendous tale of all, Seen in a stained-glass window's hue, A Baby in an ox's stall ? The Maker of the stars and sea Become a Child on earth for me ?
And is it true ?  For if it is, No loving fingers tying strings Around those tissued fripperies, The sweet and silly Christmas things, Bath salts and inexpensive scent And hideous tie so kindly meant,
No love that in a family dwells, No carolling in frosty air, Nor all the steeple-shaking bells Can with this single Truth compare - That God was man in Palestine And lives today in Bread and Wine.
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