#honestly what could possibly be sad
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https://x.com/affirwinn/status/1692375940003668037?s=46&t=qViM82SQBig9p8DATOhUEA
A friend messaged me this link early in the morning so it was literally one of the first things I saw when I opened my eyes today and when I tell you I have never beem more wide awake 👁️👄👁️
#like#sir#sir.#s i r#🫠🫠🫠🫠#i have many thoughts and comments but do not have the energy to think out euphemisms and asterisks#so they're getting saved for the DMs#possibly fics (if my brain feels so inclined)#like.#ykw we're a month into tour now it was about time for something so ravenously unhinged#ala you wanna fuckin scream for me#you wanna be loud tonight#and lil baby phoenix#shades of whatever tf was going on at the jingle ball shows of 2019#add it to the thirst canon#🤡#also delighted you would think to send this tbh 😌 thank u for sharing#the wordless passing along of the link is killing me for some reason 😂😂#honestly what could possibly be sad#ask#anon#ashton#video#the 5sos show tour#the 5sos show tour detroit
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from @/elfbotanist on twitter who is posting from trick's bluesky; they elaborated a bit on exactly what the intention of the solavellan ending is
#honestly#this is a lot more sad than i originally interpreted it#i was like oh they can leave if he confronts his regrets like rook did#but it doesnt seem like that is the case?#maybe it is a possibility but he has to stay there to study the blight that is also trapped there?#honestly i love this ending the more i sit with it#but the more i sit with it also the more it hurts#i was expecting him to die and i was really prepared for that#but this is tragic in a way i wasnt expecting and its got me so fucked up#its beautifully poetic#the trickster god who freed slaves and trapped tyrants allowing himself to be trapped#to make up for everything he has done#for him to return to the fade after being forced into the physical world#for him to follow mythal into the physical only for his mortal lover to follow him back into the fade so he wouldn't have to be alone#lavellan giving up her life for this makes me sob#i love her i love this its so fucking bittersweet i could die#and with what tay said about a dalish keeper's role being to guard everyone from the dreadwolf#thats exactly what shes doing but because she loves him she is helping hold him accountable#i genuinely cannot stop sobbing this is so insane#i cant believe they managed to absolutely bamboozle me like this because i did not expect something so tragic#well played trick weekes.....#solavellan#solas#veilguard spoilers#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#da:v spoilers#dav spoilers
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Between Sonic and Tails, who do you think would end up confessing their feelings first?
Good question. Definitely depends upon the iteration and context, but for the most part (at least in my head) getting either of them to confess (and in some cases even ruminate on their feelings and admit to themselves the nature of them) is hard
Like, for example, I personally think that game!Sonic (and post sgw Archie Sonic and IDW Sonic) kind of take Tails' presence for granted in a way. To them, it will always be the two of them (Sonic and Tails). The ideal future is that they keep on hanging out and still fight side by side sometimes and that even if Sonic goes it alone he can always come back from his adventures to chill with Tails or crash at his place. In other words, in Sonic's fantasies of the future, things like getting married or raising families or anything like that are just kind of tacked on as something that will just kind of be true at best and ignored at worst. If he even considers a future where things are a bit different because Tails is together™ with someone, to him it's only natural that Tails would be in his life the same way and nothing would really change. And so to that end, even if Sonic DOES realize his own feelings, he probably wouldn't see any good reason to confess. It would make things more complicated, especially if Tails doesn't share those feelings, and he doesn't have to worry anyways because Tails will always prioritize the two of them and be at his side, right?
And then it's even worse for versions of Sonic more akin to, say, pre sgw Archie Sonic. This is because in addition to the already existing unwillingness to change things and the assumption that he doesn't ever have to worry about no longer being the center of Tails' world (or a major figure in it at least), there is some palpable internalized homophobia within that hedgehog with an added complexity. For Archie Sonic in particular, I think even if he realized that he wanted to even be with Tails forever in a strictly non brothers fashion, he would feel mixed feelings about that (perhaps that coming out about it would ruin things or make things weird, or that getting together with Tails at any point would deprive him of "normalcy", or that he'd pressured Tails into it, or even just weird or a bit creepy).
As for Tails, I actually think that most iterations of him have figured their feelings out by this point. In all honesty, there's only so long you can go on fixating on someone and admiring them, and structuring your life around them before you realize your "I want to be with them" isn't just about simply admiring them. It's just that Tails' main obstacle to me is the avoidance of ruining anything.
On one hand, there's Sonic's avoidance to being tied down. We've seen time and time again Sonic rejecting people who pursue him openly or looking uncomfortable with them. Archie Sonic in particular made it clear that this version of Sonic couldn't stand the idea of not being able to freely be himself or adventure. He couldn't stand the idea of having to tie himself down and taking on extra responsibilities and expectations simply because he's with someone. I can see Tails being afraid that by confessing, he could scare Sonic away. If he happened to confess and Sonic thought Tails meant to stifle him or Sonic felt uncomfortable by that open expression, wouldn't that risk their relationship? Even if Sonic wouldn't go so far as to drop him as a best friend (which he never would do that for the record), there's still real fear in making things weird or different between himself and Sonic.
And that feeds right into the other hand. On the other hand, Sonic probably doesn't see him that way, right? Though Sonic is special to him and Sonic also cares for him back, at best Sonic has never thought about it and never will, or he just wouldn't feel the same (in Tails' eyes). With Archie Tails in particular, even if Tails gets over his own interlized homophobia about it and recognizes his feelings for what they are, he probably feels that there's no way to be anything different than a brother to Sonic, and thus confessing would be a terrible move. If Tails confesses and Sonic doesn't feel the same, it also runs the risk of making things weird between them or (in Tails' eyes) ruining it.
All this to say that my general opinion is that as long as things stay exactly the way they are forever, even if they start spending even more time together, I find it hard to believe either of the two will opt into confessing on purpose
But, with that being said, a confession is not an impossibility. I don't think either of the two are immune to being put in a position where they finally confess (and no, with the state of things for them, simply saying "I love you" will not count as a confession). And if we barred situations where like. They're literally about to die or one can do anything they like without the other (or themselves) remembering the outcome, I actually can give you an answer
And honestly, if one of them had to confess eventually, I believe it would probably end up being Sonic.
Why? Well, out of the two, Tails actually sits back and thinks about his emotions more often than not. I think even before he figured out the exact nature of his feelings he knew he felt very strongly for Sonic. But, no matter which media you're touching upon, I feel as if Tails fits into that archetype of "person who has been in love with their best friend since literally forever, but knows their best friend will never feel the same". The longer Tails ruminates on these feelings, the stronger he feels them, the more he watches Sonic (especially as someone who cares about plenty of people other than him), the more time he spends with Sonic, the less incentivized he feels to actually confess. Especially if Sonic would never feel the same, the best Tails can hope for is that things stay the same between them and Sonic never replaces his role.
Or in short, Tails is so in his head about it at this point, it's very hard to convince him that confessing is ever a good idea or necessary.
But while Tails is more obviously attached to Sonic, Sonic is much less obviously attached to Tails and other people as a whole. With him being "free as the wind" and the kind of figure he is, he kind of benefits from having the persona of a guy who doesn't need his friends but (nevertheless) can be assisted by them. He probably seems cool for being so strong and independent while equally caring that people live. But this doesn't mean Sonic doesn't have attachments (far from it). Rather, for Sonic, his attachments to others seem to naturally grow. And the more time he spends with them, the more he grows used to their presence. And especially with someone like Tails, who has been around as his companion the longest, he doesn't sit around long enough to consider that Tails would ever leave his side. Once he grows used to that person, he doesn't have to recognize his attachment or even think about the nature of his own feelings because it is and always has been whatever it is. So, in other words, even if he becomes more and more reliant on the fact that Tails will always be around or that Tails will always assist him, he doesn't have to admit more than "This is what our best friendship is. This is what it's like"
All of this is to say that while my idea of present Tails would be trying to do anything in his power to stay with Sonic (as long as Sonic is willing of course), even if that means never confessing the exact nature of his feelings for the hedgehog, Sonic isn't already thinking about these things. This means that while Tails has very few pathways to confession, Sonic has plenty!...if you scare him well enough.
For example, Idw Sonic has been more clearly spending more time with Tails (even baseline just. Crashing at his place more often) after the metal virus arc. Couple this with post neo metal incident 2 electric boogaloo idw Sonic who just wants to have a break and live peacefully for a minute, this is a Sonic who has become scared enough to want to indulge in spending more time with Tails. I also think that post Sonic Prime Sonic is also a version of him who would start to spend more time with Tails than before after having already lost him and having to deal with the Tails shaped hole in his life once.
So, if you got a Sonic to the point where he'd fully accepted his feelings and he felt like confessing them would be necessary to secure the future he wants, then he'd confess. Honestly, the easiest way I'd see this going about would be a story where Tails is framed as leaving him to go do something or be somewhere else, away for Sonic, possibly indefinitely, or if Sonic actually has to spend enough time without Tails after initially telling himself his own feelings wouldn't matter so long as Tails is happy wherever he is. But, if it came down to confessing being something that might actually bring Sonic to his desired future (especially if Tails rejecting him is no different from prolonging the separation they already have if he says nothing), then I think he could work up the courage to do it.
And in the end...I think it has to be Sonic. Although I on occasion enjoy fantasizing about moments where Tails can't take it anymore and confesses, only for Sonic to realize his own feelings in the process, I think that Sonic would have to be the one who confesses his feelings/wishes for the future for Tails to even believe that his pipe dreams are a possibility. I think it's Sonic who would need to pull Tails out of his head, because the probability that Tails works up the courage to confess is more unlikely.
So...yeah. In my head, Sonic is driven to a point where he confesses and pulls Tails out of his head about it.
#sonic the hedgehog#tails the fox#miles tails prower#sontails#unbreakable bond#i just be ramblin#flashoneonetwo interview#long post#In all honesty#I think what's most likely for them (best case at least) is a kind of future where they're more domestic partners who also go on adventures#than anything#Or basically...things are kind of as they are now they've just been growing closer still?#And without intervention or conflict in the form of moving on or adding other people to the mix that may replace the other's standing in#their lives any way‚ I can honestly see them never truly confessing or recognizing their relationship for what it is#But then again perhaps if the stars aligned and they borderline had a married with kids relationship and Sonic started joking about them#being together only to realize the truth™ then maybe a confession is in order?#Yeah.#On the bright side‚ even if they never confess‚ at least the two of them could be happy and also be happy and content being as they are as#best friends as long as they're by each other's sides and have each other's back forever#And with this as a possibility‚ even I would not be sad if there wasn't an outright confession#After all...who needs words when you're living your truest life without them?#Anywho#Thank you so much for the ask!#I must admit that I initially was gonna talk about different iterations of them and how a confession may go‚ but in the end I ended up#explaining my sort of collective sontails thoughts/the general interpretations I have of them#While it is my interpretation/opinion at the end of the day though it does touch my heart that you'd want to know😂😊#If you do end up having any other questions pertaining to these two and my opinions/readings or anything else‚ do always feel free to shoot#me another ask!!😊
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ENDING SPOILERS FOR BG3 AHEAD
Hate that I found this scene kinda hot
#listen. evil nawen is absolutely a possibility#even tho it isn't my canon ok she's my dear little antihero and saved everyone <3#but the way I made her she's like. in a pretty unpredictable mental state#she's come from a background of doing terrible shit as a shadow thief often against her will#and now bc of the tadpole she has time to breathe and decide what to do w her life for#reasons I won't go into rn bc it's a long story jfjfjkfkf#but basically she's in this dilemma of let yourself become The Worst(and go back to your organization post game)#or learn to be a better person again(and turn your back on the thieves even tho you will likely be hunted to death)#so she could really go either way depending on how the game goes and controlling the brain could rlly be a possibility for her#honestly even if she decided to turn her back on the thieves it could be a possibility#the power she'd have?? she'd never have to worry abt being hunted by them#but good path nawen would never 😔 she wouldn't sacrifice everything she's built#it's kinda sad to see her on her good path choosing this tho bc like. astarion's reaction??#man looks so betrayed#in her evil path she would likely have ascended him and their relationship would already be too fucked up for her to care#but in this one?? that's just painful#sleep.txt#bg3#bg3 spoilers#oc.nawen#but. even w all that. I am not above finding evil women hot 🫠#goth mommy go evil brain go brrr ooga booga#nawenlore
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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99% of conversations on anarchism about here are hampered by people having no clue what anarchists are talking about when they refer to "the state", including, it seems, the anarchists themselves.
#juney.txt#yeah i'm some sort of ancom because i have the worst takes imaginable in all respects#but wow you guys need to like#learn the basics of what you are even talking about#read some books or hell even watch some fuckin bread tubers#watch some old thought slime videos or whatever#literally anything would be better than the nothing that currently occupies your heads#and also all the cool commies who atleast as a baseline seem to actually have reading required to call yourself one of them#or at the least are better at hiding if their politics are purely vibes-based#would help if you could approach this conversation on the anarchists term's even just a little#rather than seeing them say ''we need to abolish the entity through which the few enforce their will on the many by means of violence''#and replying ''okay but this means all of society would collapse into an unorganized mess where everyone just jacks off all day''#''how would manufacturing happen without a government''#gee you tell me. how is your society gonna run once the state withers away#god that's really what gets me. we have ostensibly incredibly similar goals#a stateless classless moneyless society#but then when anarchists talk about having a stateless classless society half of y'all are like#''wuh?? but how would that work?!?!''#like are you a communist or not.#do you even believe communism is possible?#i could understand criticisms about anarchist methods to achieving those ends. those are honestly pretty fuckin valid in a lot of places#but questioning the ends in and of themselves?!#do you think we will ever achieve communism literally ever#or are we just gonna have a socialist worker state that never completes its transition. forever.#because that would be kinda sad#give the socialist worker state estrogen. she needs it.
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Bad time of it, all things considered (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#Blood#Just a bit but y'know - Enough#It honestly made me So sad that it took until his canonmates saw it happen that someone /finally/ acknowledged his spontaneous cuts D:#Like I get it it's dark and it's hard to see but his skin just opened up and he made a noise about it! The possible danger!!#And then by that point he's just so used to everyone ignoring it that their concern for him is barely even a factor weh ZEX ;;#Plus it's just a cool effect haha - sudden blood from nothing! Very rich mental movement#At least Max had someone concerned for him about it <3 Not that he could do anything about it but even just the validation of seeing it!#He has enough cuts on him :( Poor tenderized flesh#He gets all crabby from being sore from healing constantly haha :'D Of course he would!#One thing I found very interesting was the scar sidedness :0 Most of the examples in the gallery have his scar and missing eye opposite#But that's not necessarily the case! I actually scoured mid-read and there /are/ a couple instances of matching side!#They're very tiny so I overlooked them upon first viewing hehe ♪ But they're there! It's very interesting to me!#I like the aesthetics of the opposite - probably because I'm more used to it lol - but I can see the appeal and reasoning for the other way#I do honestly enjoy how much is open to interpretation and allowance uwu♪ And what's consistent! Like how it's always his right eye :D#That tracks hehe ♫#Haha his meeting with his delightfully inept counselor - I'm pretty sure I was actually more angry about his supposed injury than he was#He chilled out pretty quickly while I was just - A Scratched Cornea??? The disrespect!!#So happy with his eyebrow expression on that one as well ah <3#It really does make me curious for how the staff is kept there - they don't /seem/ malicious during the day! But they're also unaware#It's interesting where the lines of reality are between everyone :D Very interesting ♪#Capping off with another song my playlist is looking quite healthy now hehe#Flagpole Sitta is one of those songs that only comes up for me every half dozen years or so but when it Does - phewph#It is /such/ a ZEX song to me now hehe <3 The flirtiness and exasperation - the defeatism even! So many killer lines#I think my favourite is ''I'm not sick but I'm not well'' ask me to read into that I will I'm gonna I'll do it even if you don't ask me lol#So fun to draw those lapses in control the poor dear ♥#The digital reconstruction there was a lot of fun as well actually :D I think I nailed it :3 Pulled around from all over the page! Pleased ♪
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My initial off the top of my head wxs Pokémon partners match up would be
Nene - primarina/rotom/hatterene. Primarina is self explanatory, the rotom was originally rui’s but it possesses robonene so it’s hers now, and hatterene…
Emu - bewear/mr. mime/togekiss. Bewear is funny (& similar to the mascot bodyguard), Mr. Mime is self explanatory, togekiss is self explanatory wrt Pokédex entries.
Rui - porygon z/mimikyu/silvaly. I feel like all of these are pretty self explanatory.
Tsukasa - dragonite/sylveon/rapidash. Dragonite is a wxs world link reference, sylveon just fits, rapidash because there is no Pegasus pokemon.
#debated giving rui an absol (misinterpreted by humans leading to stigma) but mimikyuu fits him way better & I like porygon#i dislike giving random characters legendaries/mythicals but. silvaly fits too well.#originally had togekiss and sylveon swapped but I think togekiss fits emu better & tsukasa would have a sylveon. you know this in ur heart.#middle school tsukasa: I hope my eevee evolves into a super cool umbreon (it does not)#but sylveon does remind him of saki so he is fine with this.#debated giving him a Galarian rapidash but I honestly think regular rapidash works better#& the team aesthetic was leaning too heavily on the cute fairy side which there’s nothing wrong w but it’s not his vibe#primarina just fits nene absurdly well and I think giving her a hatterene is the funniest possible choice I could make#it fuckin hates tsukasa. wants him dead.#rotom/robonene (rotomnene?) also Just Works��� it comes out of the robot occasionally but it likes the cool functions it gets as a robot#togekiss’s whole thing is it wants to be surrounded by nice kind people and it evolves w friendship. i think it fits emu.#& bewear gives spine breaking hugs canonically which is very emu#what else. uhh rui would 100% make the mimikyu cute little costumes & the dragonite is a world link reference#bc the dragonite embodiment of the sea guides ships thing. etc.#‘off the top of my head’ me when I lie. originally it was and then I got sucked into bulbapedia. sad. oh well.#if I was to give other characters mythical/legendary pkmn nene would get meloetta or manaphy/emu would get diancie or moltres#and Tsukasa would get jirachi or moltres. or maybe victini. who’s to say.#someone did give tsukasa a keldeo that could also work…#thank you for coming to my Ted talk. i have not played Pokémon since legends arceus.#project sekai
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I love the vocal nuance in this exchange, but also posting this for my differences posts because this is one of the changes that infuriates me the most. Yuri didn't threaten Ioder, did not threaten him with a weapon, and just said he'd punch him in a lazy, half joking voice (half joking as in, he really doesn't want to hear that - that's just his way of saying so; but that's not the voice of someone who is super angry and threatening).
My other huge grievance is that this is a recurring issue between them in the dub. Yuri is pretty much always vocally rude to Ioder. Ioder has done nothing to wrong him or anyone and has only ever done good for the people where he's able to.
Yet despite Ioder being nothing but sincere, honest and polite with Yuri, in fact even happy to see him here and there, dub Yuri is outright tonally rude to him leading right up this scene where he threatens Ioder in this dark voice. Meanwhile he's actually just supposed to be… lazily telling Ioder he'll punch him in his Yuri Lowell way of saying "I don't want to hear that".
The dub really just wanted to turn Yuri into this dark edgelord and I hate that for my goofy, silly boy.
#GTF Vesperia Clips#honestly JP Yuri talks abt punching ppl often enough that it's like... this should have been an easy tl#and like honestly wtf is with the dub having Yuri at Ioder's absolute THROAT every time they talk#I'm serious when I say dub Yuri genuinely pisses me off sometimes bc he's an asshole for NO reason#it's not cool. I'm not rooting for him. I'm rooting for someone to punch him in the face for being an ass#JP Yuri would love to do it honestly he's always up for punching ppl it's a recurring theme for /him/#I've never wanted to punch JP Yuri in the face. I've wanted to punch dub Yuri in the face multiple times#that's enough for me to recognize that the dub took more than just ''creative liberties'' with the loc#it SUCKS too bc the dub in and of itself isn't bad. I've said this before but#it really is primarily Yuri and his absolute ATTITUDE problem /and/ the way the dub treats Flynn and puts him down constantly#and unfortunately often uses Yuri to do it... when they're not having Flynn himself do it#all always in areas that never even happened originally. they just literally made it up#still not over how they had Flynn basically berate himself by saying ''like a /good knight/'' at Yormgen#the dub very clearly had a /narrative/ bias against imperial figures/knights that wasn't in the original#what was the reason to drop Sodia calling Yuri ''sir'' at Aurnion? there wasn't one!#but Sodia BaD so we can't possibly let anyone see her character development and have to hide it from dub players!#unfortunately for me the dub not being bad in and of itself truly is trumped by#its treatment of Yuri and Flynn as characters and the way the game narratively directs players#for me it really is THAT BAD that it's stronger than the rest of the dub being just fine#and it really truly honestly RUINS the entire dub for me bc I love Yuri and Flynn and hate seeing them treated like that#I mean literally the whole point of me making those text posts is bc of my love for Yuri lol#and it's so sad and hard to see dub players not get the same Yuri experience simply bc... they don't even know#a lot of people didn't even realize how different he was and like... I get loving Troy's acting#but again Troy isn't the problem here. I don't want a dub that treats my favorites the way it does#I WISH Troy could have voiced Yuri the way he really is. in some way for me it feels very lonely#bc like the casual person I pass by who knows Vesp isn't likely to have not played the dub you know??#so it's like... I wanna talk abt Yuri but we aren't even talking abt the same Yuri#nearly outta tags lol but yeah it just... makes me SO sad that they did all this to those two
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GIRL HELP WDYM I REACHED 30 TAGS??????? OMG???? I WASN'T EVEN DONE YET
ANYWAYS 31st: and that compared to a relationship where the communication lines are basically none or very fucking weak then yeah it is an upgrade I think. Idfk I was never in a relationship I'm just picking from the ones I've seen in my life
#it's like that one image i saw#under read more too bc i don't wanna get jumpscared#anyways i wanted to say#one thing is that I've been kinda into hlevpeka (how do you even call that?) for like. 2 years? 3?#it's just that it kinda fell off for me once i started thinking about the possibilities of hlevteo (which was around the end of 2023 so)#but ig the myth hunt trio as a whole is kinda making me pick it back#definitely the most underdeveloped out of the 3 tho. i have no idea what could lead to the same guy have weird shit going on with himself#well probably it is a want to learn about himself or something#they were separate for a good while so ig they wanna pick things back and learn together#what makes them them and what they like for themselves#and who can know you better than yourself (?) idk it's weird i need a good excuse still#anywayyyyys#I've also been thinking about something for hlevteo#like bc i want it to have significant differences over teopeka (healthier ones at that) and i think one of them would be like. transparency#and sincerity and “truth” (if you really wanna tie it back to myth hunting)#bc i feel they'd reach a point where they like. can be open with each other right#and i feel that'd amount to like. knowing stuff nobody else does#like teo would tell hlev like. oh yeah me and peka have been around for almost a decade now. yeah it was a very weird thing for those times#i think the reason why im even here with you is bc you remind me of him. ig i just gravitate towards you#and hlev would be like yeah dw it's fine. y'know you also kinda remind me of someone. of like- oh that's gonna be weird to explain#and then he explains to her the whole. Thing. about being a protagonist#and she'd be like “oh huh well alright. that's one more existencial crisis for me. anyways what does that have to do with anything#and he'd be like “yeah ok so the reason why i think im also around you is bc of the power dynamic(?) we have#like you're my boss still and i honestly like that? I think all those years of feeling helpless and powerless have kinda taken a toll on me#and she'd be like “oh huh alright i guess that makes sense. that's kinda sad tho”#(heavy projecting there with That Man™ but it's whatever)#anyways what im trying to say it's that like. it's not that the motives behind the attraction are healthier?#it's moreso the fact they explained them at length to each other that kinda is? bc then they can work from there right?#like they can like. at minimum make them not devolve into something obnoxiously bad
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Argenti is actually pretty Lancelotcoded, he is deranged and even suicidal. I adore him
#I didn't expect to like him this much considering what I had seen in leaks and trailers#but he is actually not just a cringe fail man with a flare (which is also good)#he is also a wet sad man trying desperately to get close enough to something dead that he'd get a glimpse of it and its light again#He can have a piece of my heart for this after all#However‚ yet again‚ why am I like this lol#He started talking about how getting as close to death as possible is the way he has to get the shadow of the shadow#of the probable hallucination of the echo of Idrila‚ and that's the path he must walk because seeing them even if it's not real is his wish#and I could feel myself grow fonder with every word. Awww of course I'll let you try to die in the pursue of your wish. Of course#What's with me and borderline when not straight up suicidal characters what the hell#Anyway... Get in the car. I'll take you and Blade get some cookies or popcorn‚ or whatever you want. Blade's already in the car just hop in#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#I honestly was expecting him to lean more towards Galah.ad or Perziva.l perhaps. That he has the Lancelo.t air has won me over for sure#I'm sorry call me basic but Lancelo.t is my favourite
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#speculation nation#negative/#honestly i just wish it were possible to move from romance back to friendship without it being a whole Thing#doing what i think is best for both of us but mourning the entire loss of the relationship. romantic or otherwise.#i keep thinking about all the things im gonna be losing and getting sad#and also just sad that she's gone in general#but it's for the best. for both of us.#just need to get through the sads.#mostly im just. i wish i could still keep her in my life. but she already told me she wouldnt be able to be 'just friends'#im just not. interested in romance rn. not interested in revolving my entire life around someone.#but i do care about her. and i feel awful for hurting her like this.#but i cant give her what she needs. and just trying has been too much for me.#aka. yes i did break up with my girlfriend today. and what a miserable fucking day it's been.#sigh.....
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while the whole hospital scene is an example of the joel that everyone has been wary of, it's also a joel that hasn't been seen in 20 years. like, the whole episode is.
this joel is joking and gentle and attentive to try and cheer up his daughter. he's worried and fumbling a little in the excusion but diving headfirst in trying to comfort her and show how much she means to him and asking her to allow him to help her find/be a reason to keep fighting to be here. just like she is for him.
and then people in uniform with guns threaten her (again) and he has this moment of helplessness (again). only. only.
this time, it's not an immediate death. he has time this go around to actually do something.
and he does it without a second thought. in the aftermath of the opening of this reprise, he becomes the one man army he couldn't be for sarah. yeah the hospital is the joel everyone has been wary of, but its that joel with the purpose of joel-from-before and god help any motherfuckers who get in his way.
in the game, when marlene and joel are talking, she tells him: "this isn't about you, or even her - there is no other choice here."
she was right. there was no other choice, never was, not for joel.
#tlou spoilers#I SAID I HAD THOUGHTS AND I WOKE UP AT 3AM TO WRITE THEM DOWN#honestly the second marlene allowed him to walk out of that room she signed her own death certificate#which is such an interesting idea because she did it out of respect and acknowledgement of what joel is losing#to her someone who has been fighting to try and free humanity#(from the infection from each other from awful leadership)#there wasnt any other choice but to give up ellie for the possibility to try and set things right#and she made a mistake in thinking joel could ever be on the same wavelength#theyre parallel but on completely different ends#people took sarah not infected not shitty leadership not even the apocalypse#a person with a gun a uniform and an order took her and joel was never going to let that happen again#uh also while i think its an interesting idea i dont actually think marlene is to blame here#its awful she didnt ask ellie but neither did joel and i dont think either of them wouldve if given the chance#joels decision to kill her rests with him alone its not her fault#he rests easy with it too which is both ruthless and really sad for marlene#my thoughts on ellie are still just AHHHHHHHHHH but as always#she is my darling little shit and i would also burn the world to keep her safe so like#i get you joel
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Yeah unfortunately "autistic" IS now what many awful people use to mean "irredeemable failure"/"stupid"/"weird"/"unapproachable"/"socially inept" nowadays. So even that may not help.
Especially sucks when you see neurotypical people adopting the more positive traits associated w autism and then bully you for actually being on the spectrum and making you feel like “well if they can act the same way I do minus the bad stuff ig I really am useless and not special at all really” so then "poof!" your silver lining is gone too.
Not telling your kid they have a learning disability, chronic illness, mental illness etc. so they can “feel normal” actually does the opposite. They will not feel normal if they do not have the context to understand that their normal will be different from that of their peers.
#This one girl in my cosmo class (19) kept talking abt how much she wants slime & loves “childish things” & buys kid's shoes & plays Roblox#and “stimming” and was always doing “the Fortnite kid voice”#and then said I'm “too old” to hang out with her (I was 25 now 26) and I'm “acting like a child” and#“can't pick up on social cues” after I asked to hang out with her and got sad from the specific way she rejected my invitation#ngl I have to wonder if she was jealous I look a lot younger than she does? Maybe my test scores were better than hers? (she graded tests)#it's BECAUSE I didn't socialize that I could put all my time to study & practice! U can't expect so much of urself while also having fun!#I guess I'm not too bothered considering it's obvious looking back that she had some weird fixation on deliberately remaining as childlike#as possible not just incidentally so what she said appears to be major projection. And it honestly is kind of weird to think about how she#was trying to tell me I was too old to hang out with her when she plays with literal 9 yos on a video game-#Like girl....all these things put together are not looking good....I'm scared for your mental health once you age further#phoo! feels good to get that off my chest and talk a little shit lol#I was trying to force kindness about it for so long even on a mental level so...yeah#now that I'm able to process it naturally I do actually feel bad for her. I wonder if she got subjected to a lot of toxic media#and creeps that like to emphasize how temporary it is to be “young and beautiful” :/
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even now i feel a rigidity in who i am even now as i try to shirk my previous skin !
#literally do not mind me i mean like a lot of my issue is that people do not mind me but like im working on that thats internal ok ?#with enough reframing and relearning and redoing myself actually it will be ok !#sometimes i think about the ppl who dislike me and wonder if theyd like cheer to see me spiral like this in a public way#and to them i say . well honestly i cannot blame u . who am i to say what you should feel or do or think . honestly like what fucking high#ground could i possibly be speaking from . lmao .#oh shout out to the ppl who followed me for evil !!!!!!!! i love u tboy ben !!!!!! ur my world!!!#theres something very intimate about this#no? a desire to be real . pinnochio retold. . anyways. i still dont know i dont think i will know for a very long time !!!#probably not until i am a snail . creeping along the garden wall . my little snail trail left on the stone . i am not happy but i am not sad#and i do not hunger . i survive or i do not . and my snail trail exists dries on the stone faster than i do ! crinkling in the arizona heat#I really could see myself as a snail in arizona . someday probably. no day soon#but certainly while snails are still around . hell yes
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thinking about which love interests in a drop of silver are more likely to cage fenrir with them vs follow him to the ends of the earth-
none of this would be canon of course, more worst case scenarios and insights as to how they might act if they didn’t have any rivals to balance each other out. this could change as i develop them more through the fic but as of now, here are my thoughts, in order of who he meets first to last:
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1. euryn - the illegitimate prince
euryn would, hands down, cage him. even after they spend time in the dungeons together, his first thought after being taken by his brother’s vassal is taking fenrir with him, even though he knows how bad of a place the palace is.
their first plan of escape involved leaving together to some nebulous somewhere, yes, but it was never euryn following fenrir. back in the palace, instead of think of how to escape to get back to him, he’s trying to find fenrir to bring him into this hell of a place. following after him instead never even crosses his mind.
2. ceri - the knight
ceri would walk backwards into hell if only it meant he was able to hold fenrir’s hand - the ends of his sleeve, even. his life and his ability, they are all fenrir’s to wield, and he has no concern as to where he has to go as long as he is able to stay by fenrir’s side.
if they are drowning, they are drowning together. no matter what ends they might meet, ceri will follow him. he only wishes to remain by his side. he will follow any direction, fulfill any requests, except to leave.
3. eldrid - the southern grand duchy’s heir
eldrid is also the type to follow after fenrir. he knows that nothing he is given is his own, and he knows that he has no leg to stand on if he were to try and keep fenrir with him. he has no power within his own home, much like euryn, though his disposition would likely change if he was able to take over the southern grand duchy.
knowing this, he’s the more possessive of those that would follow fenrir vs cage him. ceri would allow him anything - eldrid would exert subtle control, even if well meaning, to make sure he would stay as close as possible.
4. rhain - the first prince
rhain is perhaps the most malicious in his intent to cage fenrir next to him. he has no interest in the throne, but it is something all but laid before him - if he has to take that path to keep his darling, then he will do so without hesitation, even as boring as he finds a position like emperor.
he would clip fenrir’s wings without a second thought, if only he were able. he finds it equal parts infuriating and endearing that fenrir is protected by his position and too skilled a mage for him to be able to take with force as simply a prince. still, taking the slow path to win the first thing to amuse him isn’t exactly a bad thing. it’s only all the more fun.
5. seren - the high priest to-be
seren, for all that he acts, is not kind. the perfect image he presents might hide his intentions normally, but the one thing he would not be able to stand would be for fenrir to fly freely away from him. thus, he would cage him.
maybe he would get help from the temple, maybe he would coerce fenrir in some way or another - there’s many routes he would be able to take. the easiest, i think, would be for him to keep a pitying and pathetic act. if he could do it well enough to fool fenrir, which is kind of a toss up, he’d likely stay willingly.
6. talesin - the informant
talesin is an independent guy - more so than any of the other love interests here. he may be obsessed with fenrir, and he may want to know his every action, but he doesn’t see a need to cage nor directly follow him to do it. still, he would lean towards following him - assigning his employees to follow the mage and find out anything he missed should they have to separate.
this is the only man here that knows the concept of personal space.
#a drop of silver#yandere#yandere ocs#yandere x oc#yeah i’m normal about them#also love just ending on that note about talesin. i’m pretty sure i’m going to make him like#a fanboy#but he’s also the most willing to leave fenrir alone if he needs it?#like ceri will too but he will be so sad and pathetic about it#euryn as well#seren would pretend to be pathetic to try and manipulate him and fenrir would brush him off immediately#because when comparing ceri and seren it is very easy to tell who is the pathetic golden retriever and who is the scheming fox#i should assign all of them animals probably#ceri is a dog. puppy dog. not sure what kind#sad wet dog either way. like possibly a little tiny one#euryn meanwhile would be like a scary dog but absolutely melts around fenrir#rhain is a big cat of some kind. not a panther because that would be disrespectful to yuuji#honestly maybe a lion? kind of twst leona vibes a little bit#seren again would be a fox#eldrid is a soggy cat that pretends he doesn’t care at all but he cares so much please please look at him#and talesin is like#a parrot or something#idk he’s the only one i haven’t planned out a ton but a parrot is the only thing coming to mind#that or maybe a peacock? he’s trying to show off so bad but he’s so clumsy with it#yes i like pathetic men. how could you tell.#ask me about them i will sob
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