#honestly this drawing kinda ugly**dies

[sunnymainecoonx]

Man I'm tired-

Hey, psst @con-cognito, a lil gift for u just bc I wanted to draw :3

[monsoon-of-art]

Hey! I had a late night idea in regards to your mer au of Ingo cheering up Dawn. I hope it's okay to share it with you.

Ingo frown stretched lower than usual "What's wrong?"

Dawn paused to gather her thoughts, and then eventually turned to him "Can you be honest with me?"

"Of course."

"Do you...like it here?"

Ingo's gaze drifted out to the stretch of water above them as he considered her question "I am grateful for the hospitality of my clan and being of service to my Noble brings me great satisfaction if that's what you're asking. "

But Dawn shook her head "No, I mean, do you like living here?" With a wide sweep of the arm, she gestured to the space in front of them "In the ocean?"

Ingo made a thoughtful noise "I don't know what to compare it to, I'm afraid. It's all I've ever known. I cannot recall living anywhere else. Why do you ask?"

Dawn shrugged "I just...I don't know how you live here. I don't know if I could. It's so scary here!"

She forced a smile up at her Uncle's concerned eyes "Don't get me wrong, I love being with you and the other mers are nice...mostly. And I still think it's cool to be a mer and to do things and go places nobody else in the Survey Corps can. And I like writing down all the weird and wonderful things I find out about marine life, but..."

Dawn twiddled her fingers, folding in on herself as if to hide. "For every reason I find to love the ocean... there's so many more reasons to dread it.

"Everything's bigger than me, including everything that wants to eat me. And even the things that are way smaller than me are terrifying. Like pufferfish or jellyfish or the time Sabi told me that starfish would eat my body if I died. It's all so creepy! I feel like I can't go anywhere without being in danger.

"And sometimes the creatures I find give me the shudders when I have to draw them or write about them. Everything seems to be either full of teeth, are armed to the teeth, slimy, have unspeakable diets or are deceptivley cute. It's like swimming through a place of nightmares!"

She sighed internally "Honestly, I'm beginning to hate coming back to the ocean again and again. If it weren't for the fact that the Survey Corps are relying on my research...Ingo, how do you deal with being here?"

Ingo straightened his cap and gave an apologetic shrug "I suppose because I don't face a lot of the problems you do, I'm not a pup who's just learning to swim and I don't have to fear as many of this world's creatures you do. And like I said before, the ocean is all I've ever known. But I do admire your courage in coming here for your research, even if I'd prefer that you'd stay on land."

"It's kinda sad, you know? The ocean's not as...well...magical as I thought it would be."

It broke Ingo's heart to see the girl look so sombre. It must have been hard to be such a small and vulnerable pup in a vast, unforgiving ocean. And Dawn was right, the ocean could be a cruel and ugly place...but it wasn't all it was. Ingo's amnesia had brought him to be blown away by so many rich experiences as if it was his first time in the ocean. When he first arrived, members of the Pearl Clan would smile and laugh affectionately at the way he stared at the reef coming to life around him, mesmerised by the shifting colours and shapes. Or the times he could swim beside a pod of sperm whales during patrols, the motions of his tail mirrored by slow, graceful giants that would turn their gaze at him with seemingly all knowing eyes . And even something as simple as a kelp forest seemed to hold such majesty and serenity if you stopped to enjoy its shade.

The orca's attention was brought back to the melancholy child in front of him as an idea tugged up the corners of his mouth. "How about I show you something?"

Dawn couldn't see much between the gaps of Ingo's fingers as they closed securely around her, just a deep cobalt blue interrupted by the occasional black shape. Although, more and more black shapes were appearing, occasionally blocking out the light. She grew nervous. Where was Ingo taking her? They've been travelling like this for quite a while now.

Ingo broke the silence with a smile in his voice: "We have arrived at our stop. Are you ready?"

The black shapes were more frequent than ever now. Dawn was incredibly uneasy, but also admittedly curious. And Ingo's cheerful tone calmed her down somewhat, telling her she was in no danger.

"Okay." That came out more timid than intended.

Ingo removed the hand that served as her roof and the bright blue light surrounding her made her blink.

And all around them wide, graceful sheets of black and white glided through the vast blue space.

Manta rays.

So many-too many! Like the ocean had moving stripes! All of them slowly migrating forward. Below Ingo's steady hand she could see more of them below, many so far down they were fading into space. The filtered sun above them was occasionally blocked out, leaving dancing shadows over Dawn and Ingo's form.

Beside her, one of them glided close enough for her to note its large gaping mouth. She flinched.

"It's alright" said Ingo, holding her closer to his tunic "They're harmless."

Dawn read about Manta rays. She knew they were only filter feeders and that they wouldnt harm her with barbs in their tails. However, seeing a Manta ray up close and personal was different to seeing one in a book, and new uncertanties curled in her stomach.

But she trusted Ingo. She was safe with him and he wouldn't take her anywhere he deemed too risky. And even if there was danger, he would close his hand over her again at the first sign of it. She laid lack into his tunic behind her and took in the comfort that came with it. Her shoulders began to relax.

"They're quite friendly, and even playful" Ingo continued "Sometimes I blow bubbles here because I know they enjoy swimming through them."

He demonstrated, and he was right. Some mantas above them seemed to slow down through the streams of air, and even circled back to have a second go.

Dawn giggled. It was almost like they were watching dolphins.

Ingo pointed up to the larger mantas above them with his free hand "See the markings on the underside of their bodies?"

Dawn nodded

"The shape of the markings is unique to each animal, like a fingerprint."

"Really? So you can tell each Manta Ray apart?"

Ingo scratched the back of his neck "Well, I haven't personally memorised any markings, and even if I did, there are too many at this station to keep track of, but yes, in theory you could."

For a good while, they stayed there. Ingo had long since became lost in his own rambling, and Dawn was just happy to listen. He was spouting facts about everything he was taught about the creatures around them, from their feeding habits to the how and why of their migrations.

She couldn't even hope to remember half of it all, but she took mental notes to write down some of the more interesting things he mentioned when she had the chance.

If the Mers weren't so afraid of humans and visa versa, Dawn imagined Ingo would be quite valuable to the Survey Corps.

Dawn took another glance around her. The colossal, yet quiet creatures drifted in a steady stream around them; taking their time towards an unknown destination, like commuters in a crowded city, but in slow motion. It was so serene here. So peaceful. Gentle giants, just like Ingo and so many of the other mers.

"There really is no danger, is there?"

Ingo chuckled "No. Not here."

But then his smile dipped and he looked soberly down at Dawn.

"Perhaps there is danger back at the reefs, waiting for us. And perhaps there always will be a dangerous and ominous side to the ocean. But the ocean is vast. And in all that space there is room for beauty as well, and gentleness, and wonder. The scope of it amazes even me.

"My home is frightening, and I'm worried that I won't be able to protect you from all that it holds, but I don't want you to miss out on all that's good in this world either. In more ways than one, it is magical. I hope you come to see it that way too."

Akari leaned further into her Uncle's tunic and smiled.

Yeah, maybe she will.

"Thanks, Ingo."

(Aaaaaand it's morning! Wow, that idea really exploded! Thank you for letting me share, though. And thank you again for all your art and stories! :) )

;w;

[submalevolentgrace]

hey videogames enjoyers, play a little 'what if?' game with me.

imagine an alternate timeline where the modern first person shooter didn't and doesn't exist. no call of duty, no titanfall, no borderlands, no bioshock, no pubg, no overwatch, not even halflife. they never existed. there was however still a small experimental game way back in the 80's called 'wolfenstein 3d' that basically nobody remembers, leaving pretty much no cultural impact or legacy on the gaming landscape. and sure, around y2k if you fell down some very specific internet forum rabbit holes you'd find a small niche community playing some equally obscure successors inspired by wolfenstein: doom, quake, hexen, and some weird one called rise of the triad; 'wolfensteinies', the community called them, in honour of the original. most gamers would be put off by their confusing and frustrating mechanics, but of course, everyone that stuck around long enough to really get into one of these cult-canonical 'big four' in the genre was captivated by them. people in this tiny community loved their wolfensteinies so much that it was a (true) running joke that basically everyone was trying to make their own version of one.

but if you played these unknown games, or even just attempted to describe their characteristics to other gamers, they'd look at you like you were insane. who'd play games like that? they have such ugly primitive graphics, and you just shoot people with bullets that come out of your eyes somehow and you have to keep picking up fuel for the shooting, and the enemies shoot you back, and you're stuck in some kind of unfathomable maze and have to keep walking and opening doors until you find your way out, and you keep having to shoot at enemies the whole time while running out of shooting fuel? people play that for fun???

and over the years there were a few attempts at making something approaching this bizarre "shooting people from your eyes and opening lots of doors" kind of gameplay more mainstream for various 16-bit and early 3d consoles… but despite being both faithful to the wolfenstein roots and also bringing something fun and unique to the table, they always did poorly both critically and commercially, even with a big brand tie-in like pokemon or final fantasy attached, so were forgotten.

and the genre of wolfensteinies died out.

but then, something unusual happens in the early-to-mid 2010's; the indie game scene kinda explodes, and goes fully mainstream. it's never been easier to get your game up on steam or even a console's digital store, and with the boom in experimental indie games playing around with what's possible, a new type of game - a whole new genre! - blasts onto the scene: the "wolfensteinie". nobody seems to know where the genre or name came from, but suddenly every other indie game that comes out is a wolfensteinie or has wolfensteinie-style mechanics in it. mainstream gamers and fans of this brand new genre have still never heard of quake or doom let alone the original, but 'wolfensteinie' popularity has skyrocketed. confusingly, however, all these indie darling wolfensteinie games - that are ostensibly drawing inspiration from wolfenstein 3d or else why would they still be calling themselves wolfensteinies - none of them are really first person shooters… the first person shooter still doesn't exist, or at least hasn't for decades. some of these games have a first person viewpoint but most don't, many have guns in them but many don't, a few of them take place in mazey castles i guess, but it honestly kinda seems like none of the people making these games have ever even heard of wolfenstein 3d or the big classic wolfensteinies.

so what even makes a modern game a wolfensteinie then, if none of them are fps's? well it's the coloured keycards and dogfood, duh! that's what wolfensteinies are all about! you collect coloured keycards to unlock the respective coloured doors, and there is dogfood that you can eat. everyone knows that's what a game means when it says it has 'wolfensteinie mechanics' in it! and since these mechanics are so popular, game designers want to put them into as many of their games as possible. an action adventure wolfensteinie with soulslike combat, a dungeon crawling dating sim with wolfensteinie mechnics, an island hopping life sim wolfensteinie! although as the genre has broadened its appeal, the mechanics have obviously been softened a bit for the average gamer; it's generally accepted that painting over keycards to open unmatched doors and storing dogfood as an inventory item for later instead of having to eat straight from the bowl still let a game count as a wolfensteinie, or at least 'wolfensteinish'.

the word 'wolfenstein' is still literally in the title of the genre, but its roots and history and identity have been so unrecognisably mangled that most people seemingly don't even question where the name came from, whether this 'wolfenstein' thing might have originally been its own unique game, with its own unique mechanics almost completely unexplored in the modern genre. what would fans say of the original genre-defining game?

"eww, that's so ugly and basic, we have way better games now with keycards and dogfood in them, if opening doors in a maze is what you find fun gameplay."

imagine that world. no first person shooters are made, but the market is absolutely flooded with indie games - and AAA titles now too! - all proudly claiming lineage from wolfenstein 3d, all absolutely certain that what makes them part of that lineage is coloured keycards and dogfood. imagine the absurdity. imagine you were one of those big four cult fans from back in the day, struggling to even find a copy of 'doom community support edition' that can run on a modern operating system, while fans of keycard and dogfood games think you're nuts for wanting to play something as obscure, bespoke, ugly and just plain uninspired as doom.

imagine that reality. keycards and dogfood being the cultural legacy of first person shooters.

because, yeah, this post is an old gamer's lament for the absurd reality that exists with a little genre that for some reason is still called 'roguelikes'.

rogue? nethack, angband, linley's dungeon crawl, adom? a massive amount of complexly interactive elements allowing for inventive solutions and emergent gameplay unlocked through iterative knowledge and creative thinking of available tools? people play that for fun???

"eww, that's so ugly and basic, we have way better games now with permadeath and procedural generation in them, if playing the same bits over and over and over is what you find fun gameplay."

[cyndrastic]

ok so y’all seemed to like the first part of the Fairly Odd Parents AU so here’s more characters!!

Tolkien and Jimmy are AJ and Chester!! They’re Clyde’s best (and only) friends at school! As I was making this au I realized how oddly well Tolkien and Jimmy actually match AJ and Chester character wise, so not much has to be changed for them honestly. Meanwhile I needed a character to be Vicky so I figured “hey Clyde has a sister doesn’t he?” so boom there she is.

more in depth character descriptions under the cut for those who want them!

Tolkien is the smart rich kid who tries and generally fails to talk sense into Jimmy and Clyde, and is the only one of the three with any brain cells. Also probably the only neurotypical one of the three. He’s also the only one in school who will point out when stuff randomly changes, usually in benefit of Clyde. Like, he’s the one who always notices when Clyde suddenly has a new super expensive looking bike, or he’s suddenly the most popular guy in school for like 3 days before everything just goes back to how it was for no reason. Tolkien is the only one who notices and is concerned with this.

These changes are obviously Clyde making wishes, and it scares Tweek that Tolkien will eventually figure out that Clyde has fairy god parents. Tweek wants to wipe Tolkien’s memory every time he notices a spell, but Clyde and Craig stop him. Craig thinks it’s hilarious because in all his time being a godparent, no godkid’s friends have ever noticed anything wrong until Tolkien, so he’s automatically Craig’s second favorite human (second to Clyde).

He rewards Tolkien for this by letting him be the only human that can hold or play with him when he’s in his pet form (like how Cosmo and Wanda become goldfish, Craig is a guinea pig) without getting bit when the trio hangs out at Clyde’s house.

Jimmy, for the sake of this au, will not be as dirt poor as Chester is in the actual show cause idk what good that does for this au lol. Otherwise Jimmy is the wisecracking friend who has a good heart and pure intentions most of the time but covers it with crude humor and kinda offensive jokes. Also he sucks at reading a room (me coded) and can never tell when his comedic genius won’t be appreciated (the deleted scene of him making a joke about Clyde killing his mom to Clyde like the day after it happened lives in my head rent free it’s so funny) His hair is also wavy cause I said so and that’s just how I like to draw Jimmy, i do what i want.

Also, just like how Tolkien is Craig’s second favorite human, Jimmy is Tweek’s. Most of the time when Jimmy cracks a joke, even if it’s a supremely unfunny one, Tweek laughs at it. Tweek’s pet form is a parrot, so that means if he’s chilling as an animal he can still talk and laugh. Jimmy thinks it’s hilarious that Clyde’s bird finds him so funny and Jimmy will frequently go to Clyde’s house to write and test out new comedy routines for Tweek because he’s “such a terrific audience.” Craig kinda hates it but won’t object because Tweek genuinely enjoys it.

Clyde and Craig don’t understand how Tweek finds Jimmy genuinely funny all the time, but it’s literally only because Tweek has spent the majority of his life around Craig, who is incredibly blunt, sarcastic to a fault, and so unfunny it hurts. Craig is only ever funny by being overtly honest when he doesn’t need to be (autism moment), and couldn’t make a normal joke if his life depended on it (if i may remind anyone of the Craig clip: “i got a good one: why do girls wear makeup and perfume? because they’re ugly and they stink” this man would not know a joke if it punched him in the face)

Lizzie is Clyde’s older sister. Shes a good bit older than him, Clyde being around 15 years old and her being around 22. She’s a massive bitch and has always been mean to Clyde, but it got worse once their mom died and she blamed it on Clyde (Betsy died the same way in canon as in this au, so it is kinda Clyde’s fault but still, he was 8). Luckily with her being way older than Clyde, she lives at college, but he has to deal with her whenever she goes home and during her school’s breaks. She takes Vicky’s role in this au so even if she isn’t an evil babysitter, she acts similarly to Clyde as Vicky does to Timmy.

She’s one of the reasons Clyde even gets god parents: abusive older sister, dead mom who’s death was because of him, crazy teacher (Garrison is his own level of traumatizing just as he is in the canon of the show but i haven’t decided if i wanted him to be exactly like Crocker yet), and Roger (Clyde’s dad) is ok but he’s kinda neglectful cause he’s mourning his wife and has to work double to support his kids now that Betsy is dead.

[vesemirsexual]

What are your thoughts on different Geralt relationships? Shani Essi Triss etcetc

I’m a Yennefer girlie through and through so keep in mind that likely shapes my thoughts on this! Also, I don’t have my laptop in front of me or I’d be pulling text excerpts to illustrate some of what I’m going to say, but I will endeavour to reliably try and remember what I’m talking about lmao

(Also, now I’ve summarised some quick thoughts, this is kinda the relationships/kinda the women he has them with? A rare time you might see me bashing a woman character rip. Warning below that I may have shat on your faves a little, and for mentions of sexual assault/rape.)

• Iola - This is such a one night stand to me. This is Geralt is injured and moping and honestly just takes the opportunity there. It’s pretty clear from his reaction the next morning too. This comes up in the well-referenced Geralt and Sexual Assaults post as dubcon, which admittedly I hadn’t even considered at first, but considering that Geralt is fucked up and barely even remember what Iola looks like the next morning, yeah I can see that. This is such a non-thing to me.

• Triss - People can argue until the sun comes up but I’m willing to die on the hill that this instance was sexual assault/rape. The way she talks about hitting on a “propitious moment”, the use of magic, the fact that Geralt rebuffs her with every attempt at a follow up…This entire moment really changes the overall persona of Triss for me, and shows something really ugly under that sweet helpful girl-next-door exterior. I do not enjoy this ship, at all. And even in the CDPR land where this is endgame, I genuinely could not ever see it lasting. I think the entire “Triss died at Sodden Hill” and symbolism holds true to an extent: Triss is genuinely just chasing anything that makes her feel alive and emotion. I think she’d get bored of Geralt very, very quickly and she’d be onto the next, chasing the thrill and emotional highs. Triss, to me, gives the vibe of the woman who cheats with a married man, gets him to leave his wife, and then ditches him for the next one. It’s not about him; it’s about how it all makes her feel, and escapism from her own damage.

(I actually have said fucked up passage on my phone! This…did not do wonders for my perception of Triss.)

• Shani - Again, I don’t get the hype here. Shani is 17 when Geralt hooks up with her, and quite frankly, that old man is weird as hell for that one. I also don’t see Shani ever seeing Geralt as relationship material. I think her attraction rose from a) attention from an older experienced man and b) fascination about him being a Witcher (I hesitate to say fetishism, but definitely in the same vein). This is one I cannot ever see as a relationship: I genuinely think Shani would get tired of his shit real fast.

• Essi - My unpopular opinion is I hate this entire arc. I hate it, I’m sorry. Essi starts off as this amazing character, who devolves into a teenage girl throwing a tantrum and demanding sex. Sex between Geralt and Essi is incredibly uncomfortable because it takes wearing Geralt down, peer pressure and guilt-tripping to get there, he doesn’t want to, and this is another one I agree is dubcon. I am frankly, surprised more people aren’t icked out by this one. This relationship is one of the reasons A Little Sacrifice isn’t one of my favoured short stories.

• Coral - Complex feelings. I wanted to deck Coral when she’s winding Yennefer up about being pregnant, and Yennefer is quiet and sad. Geralt, stop banging Yennefers mean and manipulative coworkers who are absolutely going to use this knowledge to hurt her whenever works. Coral is such a dick, but at the same time, considering how her story ultimately ends, I find it difficult to really hate upon her, because if that isn’t punishment enough. I do like how we see Geralt draw a line when he realises Coral is not going to help those people, and I like how this relationship characterises him further.

• Fringilla - Fringilla drives me fucking insane. I despise the library scene with every fibre of my being. If Sapkowski had included the Fringilla/Geralt baby from the drafts, as I have repeated many times, I would’ve lost my shit. Fringilla blinds Yennefer at Sodden Hill (leaving her blind for a year and with massive mental scarring) and then has the audacity to be fucking her boyfriend while she knows Yen is being held and likely tortured somewhere, and then has the audacity to actually fall in love with him. Even though it’s her job and ploy for the Lodge, even though Geralt is also playing her, god. Fuck these two for this one.

• Sword delivery girl who’s name I’ve forgotten - Geralt, you’re honestly such a bitch.

[chaoxfix]

I posted 3,591 times in 2022

That's 3,591 more posts than 2021!

1,017 posts created (28%)

2,574 posts reblogged (72%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@chaoxfix

@studioboner

@gayemeralds

@passionfruitbowls

@themetalvirus

I tagged 1,872 of my posts in 2022

Only 48% of my posts had no tags

#sonic frontiers spoilers - 52 posts

#ml spoilers - 31 posts

#chaoxfix - 31 posts

#sonic the hedgehog - 19 posts

#selfref - 15 posts

#tails the fox - 13 posts

#<3 - 12 posts

#miles tails prower - 12 posts

#self rec - 11 posts

#so cute - 11 posts

Longest Tag: 124 characters

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My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

had a dream that if enough day/night cycles have passed, hermit koco won’t let you power up again until you take a nap, because “all the speed and rings in the world won’t help if you’re too exhausted to use them”

then he watched over sonic as he slept through the night, chatting with any digitized friend who stopped by

…a guy could write a fic about that, you know.

262 notes - Posted November 9, 2022

#4

can’t believe it’s canon that the games are just based off of the characters ‘real life’ adventures

guys this legit explains weird narrative discrepancies in each game, where different POVs don’t line up. they just interviewed different characters who told biased perspectives of events.

386 notes - Posted November 14, 2022

#3

i’m allergic to digital art (or rather my tablet is allergic to me) but i hope u like it! @tsaikonautz same drawing different style challenge

391 notes - Posted June 16, 2022

#2

i now have a hc that sonic does have an apartment in station square but he basically never sleeps there, maybe once a month

he instead uses it as a storage shed for all of the merch people make of him

bc whats he gonna do, turn down a really cool mural the city made in his honor? no. hes gonna put that shit up in his living room. his friends call him egotistical but jokes on them, he looks cool as hell.

he also has

a freezer full of sonic popsicles. the fucked up ones. u know. (ty @sketchjii for reminding me these exist)

a fridge full of sports drinks with his face on the label. some officially sponsored, some knockoffs with 'socin the hengehog', who is a slightly lighter blue hedgehog. he thinks its hilarious

boxes upon boxes of frozen chili dogs, from every brand deal he's ever done who promised him a lifetime supply and are starting to sweat from making good on it

hoodies for humans that imitate his look (he loves the ones with fake ears and fake gloves. they look fucking hilarious on top of his own ears and gloves)

every variation of sonic plushie ever made. especially the deformed looking ones. the ugly ones are usually from knuckles. ("got you this. its like looking in a mirror right?" "hilarious.")

plushies of all his friends

a super sonic shower curtain from a then-6 year old tails to 'make him feel brave while taking a bath! :D'

giant fuzzy slippers that are meant to look like his shoes

his fridge door has drawings from charmy, cream, and some from tails when he was little(r)

hes got a bookcase with a bunch of books. some haunted. some not. a few scrapbooks mixed in, old textbooks tails read when he was a kid and was gonna toss out but has a lot of funny notes in the margins

he also has a trophy case to hold his many sonic & mario olympic games trophies

last i'll mention is he's even got a little eggman matryoshka doll that sits on his fridge. he just thinks its funny

if he ever dies young itll be a really fun museum exhibit. he gives one (1) apartment tour to some photographer who's way out of his depth but it's honestly kinda funny how nonchalant sonic is about all the merch of himself he collects

428 notes - Posted September 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

“love is stored in the child i adopted while i was also a child”

441 notes - Posted June 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[haljathefangirlcat]

Sigfrido, 1958

Also know as Sigfrido, La leggenda dei Nibelunghi... or, that time we went a little Fritz Lang.

Like Lang's Siegfried and Kriemhilds Rache, this Italian movie by Giacomo Gentilomo (starring Sebastian Fischer as Siegfried, Ilaria Occhini as Kriemhild, Rolf Tasna as Hagen, Giorgio Costantini as Gunther, and Katharina Mayberg as Brunhild) tells the story of Siegfried and the Nibelungs. It draws its main inspiration from the Nibelungenlied, but also includes elements from Wagner's The Ring of the Nibelung, as well as musical pieces and themes "freely adapted and elaborated" (as the credit sequence says) from the operas Siegfried and Götterdämmerung specifically. And, since it has been adapted into English under the title The Dragon's Blood but I really doubt you'd find that version as easily online and/or free, I've decided to translate its dialogues from Italian into English.

Only its dialogues, though. Writing down each scene with all of its dialogue, action, and setting would have taken a lot more time and effort, and this was already difficult enough without a script on hand. This translation is meant less as a substitute for watching the movie and more as something to keep around to understand what exactly is going on while watching it. Kinda like subtitles... except I don't actually know how to upload a movie with subtitles, lol. (Jokes aside, do watch the entire movie: the last scene doesn't have any dialogue so it didn't even make it into this post, and the one right before doesn't spend much time explaining what's happening on screen, either.)

Also, please note: the audio in the video I linked kind of... hiccups, sometimes. Mostly I had no trouble reconstructing the incomplete lines or the ones that were just difficult to hear, but sometimes I did have to guess. There's also a few places where I had to just give up and say "okay, I honestly have no idea who this character is supposed to be", because their name just wasn't said on-screen even once. Hell, even with Giselher and Gernot, I only figured out who was who when their names were finally spoken around... say, almost an hour into the movie?

I also want to point out that Gernot's name is rendered in the movie as Gerenot, but I stuck to the form I'm more familiar with because... well, I am pretty sure it's only said out loud once, anyway. A Danwarth is also mentioned in the opening credits, but as I have literally no idea who he was supposed to be, there's was even less of a question if I should keep his name like that or render it as Dankwart.

Anyway, here goes the actual translation!

OPENING QUOTE: Human life, in the exaltation of myth, becomes almost divine.

SIEGLINDE: Help! Help! SIEGLINDE: Please… take care of my baby. Siegfried. Please… SIEGLINDE: His father, Siegmund, died as a valiant man. This was his sword.

SIEGFRIED: Hoioh!

SIEGFRIED: Hoioh! MIME: No! No, no, no, no! No! Send that ugly beast away! Send it away! SIEGFRIED: Eat him! Eat this ugly smith who can't even make me a sword! Eat him! MIME: Away! Send it away, send it away… I made you the most beautiful sword in the world! Look! SIEGFRIED: Shoo, Brownie! Out! [He calls the bear "Bruno", which is a name but literally means brown/dark/tan and can be used to talk about hair, complexion, fur, etc…. also, "orso bruno" literally means brown bear] SIEGFRIED: And this, according to you, was the most beautiful sword in the world!? Lying braggart! MIME: Why do you treat me this way? Is this the gratitude a father is owed? SIEGFRIED: You, my father? Have you ever tried looking at yourself in the water of the stream? Could the sheep ever beget the bear? The serpent, the boar? Why do you keep hiding the truth from me!? You must tell me who is my father! MIME: Let me go! You're hurting me! If you grab me like that, how can I speak? SIEGFRIED: And don't tell me again that I am your son… MIME: No! It's true, you're not my son. Your mother entrusted you to me when she was on the brink of death. She was wounded, she passed away on the snow. SIEGFRIED: And my father? MIME: I don't know. But he was a valiant warrior… Siegmund was his name. SIEGFRIED: Can you give me any proof of this? MIME: Yes! MIME: I got this from your mother, and it was my only reward. SIEGFRIED: My father's sword… The sword of Siegmund. This will be my sword! Quick, stoke the fire! MIME: Yes, yes… SIEGFRIED: I will melt the two pieces and make a new blade out of them!

MIME: Go away, you spy! You're always buzzing around my smithy. ALBERICH: Is this how you treat your little brother? My advice is always precious… gold! MIME: I don't need it! ALBERICH: Don't you like gold, Mime? Not even that of the Nibelungs? MIME: I'm not interested! ALBERICH: You think me as naive as Siegfried!? But I can read your thoughts through the bones of your skull! MIME: What do you mean? ALBERICH: You made of the little lamb a nice lion, strong and sturdy, so that it may prevail on the dragon that guards the treasure. Mime, the Nibelungs' gold is so, so much! There's enough for both of us. I can help you carry it… MIME: Carry it away from me! Glutton! Traitor! Go away! ALBERICH: And you believe Siegfried won't betray you? MIME: He knows nothing, and nothing will he dare! ALBERICH: But when he knows… listen to me, there is a poison… SIEGFRIED: Mime! MIME: Go away! Go away, we'll talk about it another time! Go away! Go away!

SIEGFRIED: Mime! Look! Look. Here is my sword, finally. SIEGFRIED: Did you see that? It's with this sword that I'll conquer the world and face the dragon you've been telling me about ever since I was a child! MIME: Don't you feel fear? SIEGFRIED: Fear? Why don't you teach it to me? MIME: I can't, but the dragon… the dragon will teach it to you. Kill it and you'll know. SIEGFRIED: It will really be child's play. MIME: The dragon is horrible, enormous, stronger than a hundred bears… SIEGFRIED: And I wish they were a hundred thousand. Teach me the way. MIME: It's two days and nights beyond the forest, till the wood of the green stones…

SIEGFRIED: Are you trying to tell me something? SIEGFRIED: Come on. SIEGFRIED: Whoever bathes in the dragon's blood becomes invulnerable.

MIME: I didn't think you capable of doing something like this! Refresh yourself now, you're tired. Drink! MIME: Stop, you thief! MIME: Stop! Stop! Stop! The treasure belongs to me! ALBERICH: The poison was my idea! MIME: And who brought it? Me! MIME: No! No! Noo! ALBERICH: No! No! Mercy! Mercy, Siegfried! I didn't know anything, don't hurt me… let me live! I will turn you into the richest man in the world. In the cave there is the treasure of the Nibelungs, the most fabulous treasure on Earth… stop! I'm your friend! With the treasure, you'll be able to win the heart of Kriemhild, the woman anyone would want to be his. Come. Come! ALBERICH: Come…

SIEGFRIED: You damned monster. Where is the treasure you were talking about!? ALBERICH: Wait. ALBERICH: Put this ring on your finger and you'll see. ALBERICH: Only he who possesses the ring is the master of the treasure.

SIEGFRIED: You, too, are made of the same putrid flesh as your brother. ALBERICH: No! Don't kill me. I will be your slave. SIEGFRIED: If you want me to spare your life, you must tell me who is Kriemhild. ALBERICH: She's king Gunther's sister. SIEGFRIED: A king's sister. ALBERICH: But she'll be yours, because you're more than a king! SIEGFRIED: Not yet, but I will be! The road that separates me from her will be littered with my victories, and the sovereign of every kingdom I'll pass through will be my vassal! Tell me, where is Kriemhild? ALBERICH: In the castle of Worms, on the Rhine, in the land of the Burgundians.

ALBERICH: Go… do go! The enchanted gold thirsts for blood!

GERNOT: Did you see? This time, too, Hagen is the winner. HAGEN: To you, Kriemhild. May I be permitted to give you another token of my devotion. KRIEMHILD: Hagen is truly invincible. I understand why my brother, the king, holds him in such esteem. UTE: And you don't? KRIEMHILD: So do I. UTE: But you wouldn't marry him. KRIEMHILD: Please, mother mine! I've often heard it said that love gives brief joy and long suffering. And from you I learned that when you lose it, the pain is endless. UTE: What are you saying, daughter? All the tears I shed were compensated for in advance by the first kiss I had from your father. KRIEMHILD: I will never marry. It is much better to not have than to lose.

RUMOLD: No one else among these noble knights wants to measure himself against Hagen of Tronje?

SIEGFRIED: I salute you, Gunther, king of the Burgundians! GUNTHER: Who are you, who come all of a sudden to my royal keep? SIEGFRIED: My name is Siegfried, son of Siegmund. I bring with me twelve kings I defeated and made my vassals. GUNTHER: What do you ask for? SIEGFRIED: To fight against the most valiant of the Burgundians and offer you my sword. HAGEN: Go back from whence you came from, stranger, if you don't want to lose what you've conquered. SIEGFRIED: I'll put up as a prize my twelve kingdoms for the privilege of your hospitality, king Gunther. GUNTHER: Be then welcome at my court. You will find in Hagen of Tronje a worthy opponent. HAGEN: Have you already had your fill of your days, you intrepid knight, who put your life in peril? SIEGFRIED: Life? So be it.

UTE: Why do you draw away and blush? KRIEMHILD: Since when is it a custom at our court to welcome strangers? UTE: Why do you get angry? KRIEMHILD: In the yard there is an insolent, arrogant one who stares at me with his indiscreet gaze. UTE: He really is insolent. He's still looking. UTE: And he sure isn't looking at me.

KRIEMHILD: What's happening down there? Why do you laugh? UTE: The stranger did wrong in measuring himself against Hagen. Old as I am, I'd be stronger than him. KRIEMHILD: Yet when he came in on his horse… UTE: Eeh, the horse can hold its own, yes, but the knight will only see victory in his dreams.

UTE: Now Hagen will give him the final blow! UTE: Oh! UTE: I can't believe my eyes, it's the first time Hagen gets disarmed. KRIEMHILD: Wait till the end.

GUNTHER: Stop, Siegfried! GUNTHER: I proclaim you the winner. SIEGFRIED: I would have never wet my sword in the blood of a Burgundian. I only ask for your friendship.

UTE: Insolent, perhaps, but not arrogant. He's a valiant one. KRIEMHILD: What do I care for my brother's guests? It's enough that I can avoid them. UTE: And you better! That one has a wife and children. KRIEMHILD: You know him!? UTE: Of course. KRIEMHILD: Who is he, then? UTE: I don't know. But now, I know you.

GERNOT: Our hero seems tired. Or maybe he gets bored at the court of the Burgundians? GISELHER: He sure is more charismatic when he fights. GERNOT: Or is it Volker's music that bores him? GISELHER: Do you prefer more cheerful music? SIEGFRIED: Oh, no. GUNTHER: And what says our Hagen? GERNOT: Oh, Hagen would like music from instruments made of the enemy's guts. GUNTHER: Volker! Don't you have any music that may cheer up our guest? GISELHER: It's not this, brother, that may cheer up Siegfried. Something else is needed. GUNTHER: Am I perhaps guilty of forgetting something? GISELHER: An old habit. Remember the saying… ?: A feast without women is like a sky without stars. GUNTHER: Forgive me, Siegfried. This used to be a good habit of our court. But I don't have a queen. ?: That depends only on you, king Gunther. What are you waiting for? ?: You only need to choose. Every woman would aspire to be at your side. GUNTHER: But not the one I'd like. SIEGFRIED: So there is one. Who wounded your heart, king Gunther? GUNTHER: Brunhild. SIEGFRIED: The queen of Iceland. What name came out of your lips! Forget her. GUNTHER: Is she not worthy? SIEGFRIED: Oh, yes. Her fame has already crossed the borders of every kingdom, but in her veins runs liquid iron, not blood. GERNOT: She will only belong to one who will be capable of taming her. ?: And you would not be able to resist her in the field. GISELHER: If you lose, she'll kill you, brother! She's strong and fierce in the fight. ?: Many kings tried, and now the ground of Iceland covers them. ?: Her heart is made of bronze. GUNTHER: But her face is peerless in beauty. SIEGFRIED: She is as ruthless as lightning. GUNTHER: A thousand times, death by her hands, rather than live a hundred years with this feeling of impotence and shame. SIEGFRIED: Is it shame, if the embers burn you and the blade cuts you? Give up, Gunther! HAGEN: And this is your advice, intrepid hero? You, too, feel fear, then. SIEGFRIED: I don't know that word. I didn't tremble with you. HAGEN: And with Brunhild, would you be able to prove your valor? SIEGFRIED: I care nothing for the queen of Iceland. My heart… belongs to another woman.

UTE: Come, Kriemhild. It's now time for us to retire. It's late. KRIEMHILD: No! Not yet, mother. Please. The night with its dreams scares me. UTE: Yours is not the age of scary dreams. KRIEMHILD: Yet every night I see a vicious eagle tear to pieces a falcon of mine, strong and beautiful. What is that dream trying to tell me? HANDMAIDEN: The falcon means a groom. God protect him from the ravening eagle.

GISELHER: Queen, the king orders and begs that you, with your most beautiful dames, would honor him, and soon. There is a noble knight with us. UTE: Your mother is not queen anymore, and she has wilted. GISELHER: To my heart, there is no more beautiful woman. UTE: Boy… tell my son to forgive me, but I'm old and tired. Kriemhild will come in my place to honor the guest. GISELHER: As you wish, mother. KRIEMHILD: I? I, alone? UTE: You, with your handmaidens. KRIEMHILD: Now, and dressed like this? GISELHER: Now, and dressed like this! KRIEMHILD: Oh, no! Gutruna, the emerald brooch, the perfume, and a handkerchief! Rosmunda, the comb, the mirror, and the diadem! GISELHER: Aah, so many things! I'm starting to suspect that… KRIEMHILD: What? … Ah! I pricked my finger. GISELHER: There! That someone pricked you. KRIEMHILD: Oh, there's some blood… GISELHER: Quick, little sister, let's go! The guest wants to see you before you've completely bled out. KRIEMHILD: Ah, yes, let's go! I'm ready.

SIEGFRIED: I confess that, when I came to the castle, I felt a disorientation I couldn't explain. But now… I would never want to climb back on the saddle and leave your court. GISELHER: Here is Kriemhild, Gunther. This is the noble Siegfried. KRIEMHILD: Be welcome. SIEGFRIED: Thank you. GISELHER: This, and nothing else!? Did you lose the ability to talk? GISELHER: And you? Why do you blush? KRIEMHILD: Oh… we have to forgive him. He's a crafty scoundrel, free as a colt that knows not bridles nor whip. GUNTHER: It's up to you, Kriemhild, to offer the prize to the winner of the tournament. SIEGFRIED: Let this be the prize. KRIEMHILD: You don't like my jewel? SIEGFRIED: Jewels are hard, cold stones. But this… KRIEMHILD: But it's stained with blood. SIEGFRIED: Your blood. It makes it more valuable. KRIEMHILD: The embroidery's mine, too.

HAGEN: What do you want? ALBERICH: Your help. We have to get our hands on the Nibelungs' treasure. HAGEN: You're either mad or plotting a betrayal. The treasure is guarded by the dragon. ALBERICH: It was killed. HAGEN: Impossible. Who dared? ALBERICH: Siegfried! HAGEN: Him!? And the treasure!? ALBERICH: It's his. Now he owns the ring. HAGEN: Siegfried… that demon is at Gunther's court. ALBERICH: I know! And that's why I came. HAGEN: The treasure is in his hands… but he is in mine! The Nibelungs' gold will be ours. ALBERICH: It's no easy deed. Siegfried is strong and owns the magical net that turns him invisible. HAGEN: I will kill him! ALBERICH: He's invulnerable! He bathed in the dragon's blood. HAGEN: I was the strongest of the Burgundians… now Siegfried is. I had Kriemhild and he took her from me. Nothing, then, will my hatred be capable of against him!? ALBERICH: If iron can't kill him, other means will be able to. May the fierce beast change its look and, on par with a fox, sharpen its wits.

SIEGFRIED: If I look into your face, every word seems inadequate. Such sweetness, such light in your blue eyes… KRIEMHILD: My mother, perhaps, chose them for me with a wish before I was born, so that they may bring joy to those who came near me. SIEGFRIED: Two limpid dewdrops, clasped in a radiant Spring morning. KRIEMHILD: My mother cried for the eyes you're praising, when as a child I took a bad fall. Only the zeal of her prayers prevented me from becoming blind. See the scar here on my temple? SIEGFRIED: Let me kiss it. KRIEMHILD: You're an ardent doctor. Don't waste your medicine like this. The wound has already been healed for a while. SIEGFRIED: Now the flames of your face rekindle it, like the first day, when I saw you… KRIEMHILD: It's foolish, my blood rising up so rapidly. My mother compares me to a rose garden that alternates white roses to the red ones. SIEGFRIED: A rose garden that speaks without saying anything, like love, which needs no words.

GUNTHER: Don't even think that, it's not easy to bridle a wild colt. GISELHER: You, my king and brother, watch without seeing. Those two have already bridled each other. SIEGFRIED: King Gunther, in exchange for my sword, which I consecrated to you, you gave me a regal hospitality that makes me happier by the day. Now I dare ask you for an even greater payment: your sister, Kriemhild, for my bride. GISELHER: What did I tell you? As you can see, the bridles are sturdy. GUNTHER: Where are you going? GISELHER: I'm running to Kriemhild, to read the happiness on her face! GUNTHER: I have no doubt, Kriemhild will be happy to become your bride. But don't deprive us of her presence too soon. What would this court be without her smile? HAGEN: Wait a moment, Gunther! Before you commit definitely, I advise you to set one condition: ask Siegfried, in exchange, for his help in conquering Brunhild. SIEGFRIED: Why, Hagen, do you still push your king to a deadly deed? GUNTHER: I will have to fight alone against the queen of Iceland, no one will be able to give me his help. HAGEN: He can, and he's the only one. GUNTHER: I don't understand how. HAGEN: He owns the Nibelungs' treasure. He killed the dragon and bathed in its blood. His is the net that turns one invisible. You'd be afraid to fight a woman? You know well that the sword finds no easy prey in you. SIEGFRIED: You deceive yourself, Hagen. Iron can strike me and bring me death, and for that I thank the linden leaf that fell on my body while I was bathing in the dragon's blood. I have a vulnerable spot where death can find its opening… but that's not why I withdraw. It's just that deceit is not convenient to us and all of this tastes like betrayal. HAGEN: Does it seem to you that you're betraying someone, if you use your sword where your fist is not enough? What strength does your love for Kriemhild have? I thought that for her, you would have dared anything. GUNTHER: If you can, help me, Siegfried. We'll celebrate our weddings together: for Brunhild, I will give you Kriemhild. SIEGFRIED: Ah, Kriemhild… for you, for your love… GUNTHER: Help me, Siegfried! SIEGFRIED: So be it. I will help you. HAGEN: But for eternity, not a word. The three of us, with no other witnesses: may the fourth one be death.

BRUNHILD: Welcome to the court of Iceland. SIEGFRIED: Your first greeting is not for me, queen, but for king Gunther, to whom I am a vassal. BRUNHILD: A vassal, you are? SIEGFRIED: Yes, queen. BRUNHILD: What brings you to my court, king Gunther? GUNTHER: The fame of your valor, queen, and the desire to have you in Worms as a bride. BRUNHILD: I will be your bride if you win me in the three trials I will propose to you. But if you lose… HAGEN: Never was king Gunther defeated. GUNTHER: And now that I see you, nothing will make me desist. I'm impatient to measure myself against you for the conquest of your beauty. BRUNHILD: Fearless you are, stranger! Your head will fall like that of many other haughty kings. Look at their weapons! GUNTHER: Death I fear not, if it comes from you. I am ready. BRUNHILD: Bring the weapons!

BRUNHILD: To you, Gunther! SIEGFRIED: I am at your side, Gunther. BRUNHILD: Spear and shield! BRUNHILD: Don't be happy. You haven't won yet!

GUNTHER: Why are you so sad, oh my queen? Yours wasn't a defeat, you won my heart. And at your feet, now I am no king but a slave. Happy you will be in my green land, far from your lonely rocks. BRUNHILD: Don't delude yourself, Gunther. You only bring a prisoner there. GUNTHER: No, I bring you, the worthy queen of the Burgundians. BRUNHILD: You keep me by force. GUNTHER: You deceive yourself. You'll be mine by love. BRUNHILD: Don't speak to me of love! HAGEN: It's only a few hours longer, now. Land is almost in sight. BRUNHILD: Teach your jackals not to enter without my permission!

HAGEN: Forgive me, Gunther. GUNTHER: Hagen… I think yours wasn't good advice. HAGEN: Why? She was won. GUNTHER: But not by me. And perhaps, obscurely, Brunhild suspects it. HAGEN: Give her time. She still hears the gloomy screams of ravens and carrion crows, but when she listens to the lark and the nightingale sing, her heart will change, I'm sure of it.

BRUNHILD: You seem proud of steering the ship that brings me, as a prisoner, to Burgundy. SIEGFRIED: You deceive yourself, milady. You are a queen. BRUNHILD: A queen won by force. SIEGFRIED: Don't be upset, it was you who proposed the fight. BRUNHILD: And where were you? While the king was fighting. SIEGFRIED: On the ship, so that the beautiful bride wouldn't lack a worthy welcome. BRUNHILD: Were you that sure of his victory, then? SIEGFRIED: Yes. BRUNHILD: You hold him in high esteem. Has he ever deigned to fight you? SIEGFRIED: Oh, yes. BRUNHILD: Did he win against you!? SIEGFRIED: Of course. BRUNHILD: And yet… when I saw you… BRUNHILD: I believed you were the king… and that I should fight against you… and a trembling came over me… a trembling mixed with dejection. Fear… yes, fear… I don't know if it was for your life… or mine… and I thought, he will win me. BRUNHILD: Come on, talk to me! Please. Tell me of your land. SIEGFRIED: A wonderful land, where the Sun brightens up every color. BRUNHILD: But the gemstones of Iceland… their brilliance has no equal in the whole world. SIEGFRIED: But it's cold and frigid as rock. While the colors of the flowers that grow in Burgundy make the air smell sweet, they seem to speak of love… look! Look how lively is the blue of this endless sky. BRUNHILD: Oh, yes… it's beautiful. I've never seen such a color in my land, except in your eyes, Siegfried. Ah, this journey…! I wish it would never end! ?: Land in sight! SIEGFRIED: Furl the sail! [I'm NOT a sailing expert, but "to furl" is what WordReference gives me for "ammainare"… that is, the tecnical term for lowering the sail] SIEGFRIED: Take the oars in hand! HAGEN: Hoist up the king's banner!

HANDMAIDEN: Hear that, milady? It's the victory signal! KRIEMHILD: He comes back! It's him, Gutruna! It's him! My soul and life… come, let's go back in, quick. KRIEMHILD: Oh! Giselher! GISELHER: Take heart, little sister, your brother has run to your aid! Let's go, our mother is waiting for us. GERNOT: Welcome back, Gunther! Hail to you, Brunhild! UTE: You couldn't give my heart a greater joy. Be you welcome in Burgundy, you are truly beautiful and worthy of being our queen. KRIEMHILD: We'll become sisters. BRUNHILD: You sooth my shame over having been won. UTE: You speak of shame… BRUNHILD: With the sincerity of my land. KRIEMHILD: My brother won you for love. HAGEN: She is his by right of arms. KRIEMHILD: Shut up, Hagen. She is the king's bride. Only love moved my brother, and may God grant the both of them a long happiness. GUNTHER: Thank you, Kriemhild. I invoke for you the same joy I feel. If I am allowed to choose a groom for you… KRIEMHILD: Milord, arrange it as you wish. GUNTHER: What do you say, mother? UTE: You are the king. GUNTHER: Then, please, release me from a promise and oath of mine and offer your hand to Siegfried. SIEGFRIED: No word could I tell you, oh king, to express my gratitude and my infinite joy to you. And to you, Kriemhild, I swear to love you faithfully for life and beyond life.

UTE: Don't fidget, daughter! How can Gutruna tie your gown? KRIEMHILD: I can't, mother! I can't! HANDMAIDEN: Happiness makes her impatient. KRIEMHILD: My heart is beating so hard… UTE: That you don't know anymore if the necklace goes in the bracelet's place or vice versa. KRIEMHILD: It's true, mother. But I'm so happy! UTE: Shut up! You must not say that. Don't listen to her, elves and Norns, and ugly she-mice with only one eye! [I… don't think the last one is correct. Obviously, she must be referring to some other kind of magical being that may be mischievous or malevolent, but the more I listen to that bit, the less I understand it… my best guess would be either "bruttatope" or "bruttatore", but I've never heard of any creature with a similar name, which is why I went with "brutte tope", "ugly she-mice", and called it a day.] KRIEMHILD: But I'm happy anyway. And not just for me, but also for Gunther. HANDMAIDEN: The whole kingdom will be celebrating. OTHER HANDMAIDEN: We'll finally have a queen.

GUNTHER: I've been looking everywhere for you. Kriemhild is almost ready, she's eager to go to the temple. BRUNHILD: How can you allow a vassal to marry your sister? GUNTHER: Siegfried is richer than a king! BRUNHILD: Then sit him on the stall nearest to your throne, if wealth is all that's needed not to be servants, here. GUNTHER: He's the first among my warriors! He conquered twelve kingdoms. BRUNHILD: And do you, who were able to win Brunhild, owe him anything, if he did something that would have been a thousand times easier for you!? BRUNHILD: This wedding offends me, and your house. And I don't want such dishonor. GUNTHER: I'm begging you, Brunhild, ask me for anything else, I'll be glad to satisfy your every will. But think on it: about Siegfried… BRUNHILD: You can't impose his presence on me as a relative. GUNTHER: He's a king, as I am myself! BRUNHILD: He introduced himself to me as a vassal! GUNTHER: It's a secret, this one, that I'll never be able to reveal to you. BRUNHILD: A secret!? A deal with the servants that the queen must not know about! Then listen to me: until you talk, Gunther, I'll be your bride… but not your woman.

GUNTHER: Oh, Hagen… did you hear? GUNTHER: What does your wisdom advise me to do? HAGEN: Be at peace. Don't fret. She can still be tamed, as she was in Iceland… GUNTHER: Like in Iceland? HAGEN: We began with magical arts, and with magical arts we'll have to end. Listen…

HAGEN: Yet a little longer and the gold will be ours. I have a weapon that, in my hand, will be subtler than a blade. ALBERICH: Which one? HAGEN: Gunther's love for Brunhild, who denies herself to him. HAGEN: My cunning will guide him where he aims. But then… I will pour in his ear a poisonous insinuation that, little by little, will carry out my game. HAGEN: Who could consider me a bad courtier, if my advice to the king will be to his advantage and apparently honest? ALBERICH: You speak through riddles. HAGEN: I have led Gunther to once again ask Siegfried for his help. Brunhild will be tamed and given to the king by the very man she so loves. ALBERICH: So, you tie them all up in one net. HAGEN: The queen can do anything. And her every will shall be satisfied. ALBERICH: And when she discovers the trick… HAGEN: May not even the air suspect anything.

SIEGFRIED: Brunhild.

KRIEMHILD: Where did you find this magnificent jewel? HANDMAIDEN: It fell from your husband's clothes. KRIEMHILD: Oh, it's certainly a wedding gift. But then he must have forgotten about it. KRIEMHILD: Strange, though… GISELHER: I challenge you to a run, Siegfried! Gernot will be the judge! GERNOT: Go! GISELHER: Don't laugh, Siegfried! Who can assure me that you didn't stop for fear of being defeated? GISELHER: Little sister! I beat your husband!

GERNOT: Let's go, Giselher. We're just in the way here. GISELHER: I think so, too.

KRIEMHILD: Don't you see anything in me that makes me beautiful? SIEGFRIED: Everything. Everything is beautiful and perfect in you. KRIEMHILD: But… there is one thing that adorns my dress. SIEGFRIED: It's wonderful. But around your body, I'd like to put the rainbow, for it suits you better. KRIEMHILD: And I would accept it. But then, you shouldn't forget it as you did with this… I didn't even notice your gift. SIEGFRIED: What gift? KRIEMHILD: It was Gutruna who found it in the room. SIEGFRIED: It must have been your mother who lost it. KRIEMHILD: No, I know her jewels. SIEGFRIED: Did you say it was in the room? KRIEMHILD: It fell from your clothes. SIEGFRIED: From my clothes? Now I understand… give it to me, let's throw it into the Rhine! KRIEMHILD: Does it hold an evil spell, to scare you that much? SIEGFRIED: A terrible secret. I can't tell you anything else! KRIEMHILD: To me!? Yet you confided to me a graver secret: the vulnerable spot where death can strike you. SIEGFRIED: It was only my secret. KRIEMHILD: And this one? SIEGFRIED: Not entirely. KRIEMHILD: And so it belongs to you and to another man? Or to another woman!? SIEGFRIED: Quick, Kriemhild, hide that jewel! Hide it! KRIEMHILD: No, if you won't talk! SIEGFRIED: I'll tell you everything, I swear it to you. SIEGFRIED: I obeyed an order from the king. Maybe the jewel got caught on my clothes, and I didn't realize it…

BRUNHILD: Stop, Kriemhild! The queen is entitled to go first here. KRIEMHILD: I'll wait for you, so we can bathe together. BRUNHILD: I'll be glad to turn you down. Remember that you are wife to a vassal! KRIEMHILD: What are you saying, sister? I don't understand you. BRUNHILD: Don't call me sister! Royal blood courses through my veins! KRIEMHILD: Don't I have the same blood as the king, your husband? BRUNHILD: Not anymore, ever since a servant contaminated it! KRIEMHILD: Enough, Brunhild! I won't tollerate such insolence even from the queen! BRUNHILD: How dare you asnwer me like this!? I despise you. KRIEMHILD: My husband, whom you call a vassal, could make you bite the dust! BRUNHILD: You're talking nonsense, insolent one! He is a servant and I am the queen. KRIEMHILD: A queen won by force! BRUNHILD: By a king! KRIEMHILD: By a king, yes, that you call a vassal. And twice already. BRUNHILD: You lie! You can't prove that! KRIEMHILD: Do you know this jewel? BRUNHILD: Of course. It belongs to me. And because I see it in a stranger's hands, it must have been stolen from me. KRIEMHILD: And yet this wasn't given to me by a thief. BRUNHILD: And by whom, then!? KRIEMHILD: The man who tamed you, but not my brother, not Gunther! BRUNHILD: You are crazy! Yours is slander! KRIEMHILD: Siegfried gave it to me, as it got caught in his clothes on your wedding night, when you were won for the second time! KRIEMHILD: And now, humiliate him again. BRUNHILD: Careful, Kriemhild! If what you say is true, my revenge will be ruthless.

GUNTHER: Only I am guilty. I wanted this deceit, justified by my endless love. I was and I am a slave to this feeling, that doesn't want me to live anywhere where you aren't. GUNTHER: I could give up everything: life, kingdom, honors. But not you. Please, Brunhild, I am awaiting a gesture of forgiveness from you that will calm my torment. Just one. GUNTHER: A wish of yours is law, here in Burgundy, and I will grant it with no hesitation. What can I do to make up for the offense? Tell me. Tell me what you want. HAGEN: A life-or-death ruling. GUNTHER: Hagen! HAGEN: He told. He broke the oath. GUNTHER: He'll be banished from the land of Burgundy! HAGEN: The man who did this must die! BRUNHILD: Yes! He must die! That is what I want! HAGEN: You demand it, and I approve it. Oh, king Gunther, forgive me if I spoke first. The decision is up to you. Choose, then, between Siegfried… and the queen. GUNTHER: I can't! I can't want the death of a brother! I pushed him to that deed, he obeyed me. It would be worse than a murder. HAGEN: The offense to the queen is such. As long as Siegfried lives, the shadow of deceit will weigh on Brunhild. GUNTHER: I can't. And you, too, Brunhild, you can't, you must not want this disgrace! BRUNHILD: He must die! GUNTHER: No, never. I will never consent to this.

HAGEN: But he will die. HAGEN: If you… BRUNHILD: If I… HAGEN: If you won't put yourself between him and your avenger. BRUNHILD: I was shamed, given away as a gift, bargained… HAGEN: Yes. You were the currency that allowed him to obtain Kriemhild. BRUNHILD: Let him die, then! I want revenge!

GUNTHER: It's frightening. It's horrible. I don't want it! How is it Siegfried's fault if the jewel got caught on his clothes!? HAGEN: He betrayed your secret. GUNTHER: And what would they say, Kriemhild… and my brothers? HAGEN: They won't know about it. They're too soft to understand that it was necessary. HAGEN: But don't worry. I will handle setting up the farce. HAGEN: A false declaration of war will induce Kriemhild to reveal his secret to me. As long as I know where he's vulnerable, it will take only me to carry out the deed. HAGEN: You're not saying anything. Good. The rest is my work.

SWORD INSTRUCTOR: Strike to the side. Head. No… you try, Giselher, start with the side. Head. Strike to the side. Head. Strike to the side. Head… HAGEN: Why so sad, Kriemhild? You still haven't made peace with your husband? KRIEMHILD: Siegfried is good, he spared me any reproach. KRIEMHILD: But now a greater anxiety torments me. HAGEN: Anxiety? KRIEMHILD: The war. HAGEN: And what do you fear? Spears and arrows bounce off your husband's body like off hard steel. KRIEMHILD: Spears and arrows? Those are what scares me. Their point only needs the width of my thumbnail to penetrate. HAGEN: And what does that mean? KRIEMHILD: Siegfried is vulnerable in one spot. And that's what frightens me. HAGEN: Yeah, I remember… he himself told me of a certain… linden leaf, I think, that fell… KRIEMHILD: Between his shoulders. HAGEN: I remember. So he said. HAGEN: Don't worry, Kriemhild, a leaf is so small! KRIEMHILD: But his temerity is so very great. HAGEN: There will be many of us protecting his shoulders. He's your husband, and everyone will want to be his shield. KRIEMHILD: Thank you, Hagen, you speak nobly. HAGEN: Don't fear. I will always ride by his side. KRIEMHILD: This comforts me. You have a keen eye and a strong, swift arm! HAGEN: Don't worry, I will protect him. I promise. KRIEMHILD: You are generous. HAGEN: Just… you should point out to me the exact spot. Embroider on his war clothes a tiny cross to mark that spot. KRIEMHILD: A tiny cross? HAGEN: It's almost madness. He would laugh at you if you told him. But since I'll be his keeper, I'd rather… nothing be overlooked. KRIEMHILD: It's here.

KRIEMHILD: Too soon have the happy days flown by. And who knows how long you'll be away from me? I will pray for you, the whole time. SIEGFRIED: It won't be long, I promise. It won't be long before the Saxons regret their haughtiness. SIEGFRIED: What does that mean? KRIEMHILD: Strange… SIEGFRIED: I'll go and see.

HANDMAIDEN: Milady! The ambassadors of Saxony and Denmark bring good news. KRIEMHILD: Speak! Quick! HANDMAIDEN: They came to ask Gunther for peace. Peace, milady! KRIEMHILD: Oh, Gutruna! May you be blessed! You couldn't have brought me a greater joy!

SIEGFRIED: I don't like it. I was already looking forward to teaching those dogs how to make war. HAGEN: I had them driven out of the castle before they could even speak. SIEGFRIED: You did well, Hagen. GISELHER: It must have been your fame that scared the Saxons and Danes! SIEGFRIED: I would have liked for them to know the strength of my steel. [He actually says "la tempra", which can refer to tempering metal but also to someone's fortitude or courage… the pun doesn't work quite as well in English, I think] HAGEN: Don't get upset. Today you'll still get to use your weapons. King Gunther summoned his knights for a hunt in the forest of Oden. GISELHER: It will surely be a gayer diversion than war. [… yeah, no, I'm keeping this] HAGEN: Are you coming with us? SIEGFRIED: Do you even need to ask? Even if you managed to tie me up, I'd gnaw at the rope to reach you.

HAGEN: Rumold! HAGEN: You'll give the signal to end the hunt from the great clearing, and not before sunset. RUMOLD: Good, sir.

KRIEMHILD: Don't leave! I have had a sad omen. SIEGFRIED: What dream frightenend you? KRIEMHILD: A boar wounding you to death. SIEGFRIED: Should the dragon's slayer be afraid of a boar? Give me a goodbye kiss. KRIEMHILD: Come back. SIEGFRIED: What a strange good wish is yours. What's gotten into you? I'm going out with some good friends, and unless the mountains crumble, nothing will happen to me. What do you fear, then? KRIEMHILD: Siegfried! KRIEMHILD: I wanted to tell you… SIEGFRIED: Another dream!? KRIEMHILD: I just wanted to see you one more time…

BRUNHILD: Stop!

GERNOT: We have enough game to satiate to the whole of Burgundy! GISELHER: And I have enough of an appetite to devour all of it! GISELHER: But, isn't Siegfried with you? ?: He disappeared into the woods, following the tracks of a boar as big as a bear! GISELHER: Then we won't see him until the prey's been taken down!

HAGEN: This is the place. He has to pass through here. Like any hunter, he'll be dying of thirst and happy to quench it in that spring. HAGEN: Think on it! We won't get get another occasion like this! GUNTHER: Are your guts made of bronze, that you don't feel shaken by this? HAGEN: As long as he lives, you'll be unhappy. Brunhild's hatred towards him has its roots in love. GUNTHER: No, Hagen. Don't confirm this thought that's always tormenting me. HAGEN: Not anymore, if you listen to me.

SIEGFRIED: What are you doing here? I didn't see the signal for a gathering. HAGEN: It's sweet to rest after a hunting trip. SIEGFRIED: It's even sweeter to spend the night in the woods between dream and wakefulness. In the morning you hear the singing of birds, you see the sun peek through the leaves… but what's the matter, Gunther? You don't look glad to me. HAGEN: The king is tired. You, too, rest! Put down your weapons and tell us what you hunted! SIEGFRIED: See, Gunther, that magnicent boar? I ran after him for over an hour. But let's leave the tale for later. I'm dying of thirst and, talkative as I am, I'll go mute, if I don't drink first. HAGEN: There's a spring nearby, with waters more sparkling than the blond wine of the Rhine. SIEGFRIED: I'll go quench my thirst and come back!

HAGEN: We'll say that the bandits lying in ambush in the woods killed him in his sleep.

SIEGFRIED: Kriemhild… Kriemhild… Kriemhild…

KRIEMHILD: No! KRIEMHILD: Siegfried… oh! KRIEMHILD: I kiss your mouth… that has no more breath. I kiss your lips, and they're bloodless and cold! UTE: Come, child… KRIEMHILD: No! I want to keep him like this for me! Always! Bury me with him… bring his clothes, clothes of silk and gold, and the flowers he so loved, pick them all! Oh, yes… who would they still bloom for? And place everything into the coffin, even my wedding gown, and me with him, so that I may cover his body myself. GISELHER: A terrible disgrace… KRIEMHILD: No! An murder! A betrayal! GERNOT: It was a thief's spear that struck him. KRIEMHILD: I know who the thief is. Oh, mother! KRIEMHILD: Stop! How dare you. ?: We're taking him into the cathedral. GISELHER: He belongs to God now. GERNOT: Come, sister. My heart is as torn as yours. KRIEMHILD: No! No, I want to follow him. Be near him! If I don't, they'll steal him from me. To take him where I could never find him! KRIEMHILD: You claim that he was killed by thieves? KRIEMHILD: I want proof. I demand the trial of the dead! KRIEMHILD: And everyone be there for it. Even he who I do not see here.

KRIEMHILD: A man was killed. I ask for truth and justice. Are you ready to testify for yourselves? ALL: We are ready. KRIEMHILD: You! Murderer! Justice! I want justice! HAGEN: Answer, Gunther! ?: The queen!

[linabirb]

OK OK SO. 3 16 24 (i was LITERALLY gonna ask abt 6 and 7 but taru beat me to it LMAOAOAOAO) ummm i wanna see for twst and milgram pls <3

HEHEHEHEHE thank you for sending these sol!!

3. "screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr"

twst: OHHHHHH THERE'S A LOT. but i'll keep it short. again, that one bday vignette line and also people saying that riddle will grow up just like his mother despite the character development he got. that one hurts me so much because again, i had said it many times, i have anger issues myself and one of the many reasons why i like riddle is because of how much i relate to him and because he feels so human and not just. you know. "haha angy boi". so seeing things like "ohhh he should never have children because he will treat them like he was treated when he was little" is so. painful.

milgram: tbh there's so many that my brain just kinda refuses to process them anymore ALSO SINCE THE FANDOM IS KINDA SMALL. I FEEL LIKE ALL THOSE POSTS ARE EASY TO FIND but again i'll keep it short: mahiru is NOT a stalker/kidnapper/etc, stop saying she is, she literally said she's not one and i doubt it was a lie and also hhhhhhh i have my. own opinion about whatever is going on with kazui but i don't wanna go into detail but basically. before he himself said that his crime wasn't related to cheating, there were some people who were like.. very passionate about voting him guilty because he's a cheater and like. i'm sorry this is so funny to me like we have a guy who killed a child and MANY different animals, we have a guy who cyberbullied a teenage girl into committing suicide, MIKOTO, SHIDOU LITERALLY ASKED "WHICH ONE" AFTER HE GOT A QUESTION ABOUT HIS VICTIM(S) and cheating is where you draw the line?? 😭😭 ah and also whoever says that it was his wife's fault <3 i'm in your walls right now.

16. "you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)"

twst: HMMMMM LET ME THINK ABOUT IT. okay okay let's see. well, first of all, i'm not a fan of the time loop theory simply because i'm not a fan of time loop tropes in general. i'm pretty sure there was a time (i think it was like.. late 2000's-early 2010's? maybe even earlier) where like ALMOST EVERY SINGLE VISUAL NOVEL, GAME, ANIME, MANGA, ETC (but especially vns), used that trope AND I HATED IT SO MUCH. i love it when time loops are used to make a character go through the same painful event over and over again to completely change their character, but most of the time (haha get it) time loops feel like.. basically it's like writers use them to just explain everything that doesn't exactly make sense in-universe. why does this character say mc looks familiar to them and doesn't elaborate? well that's because they've seen them before in previous loops! why does mc know how this world works even though they've never been there? well that's because time loop! why do these two characters are in love with each other even though they've never even talked? well that's because they were in love in previous loops! i can talk about my hatred for that trope for hours, honestly.

okay, let's talk about characterization. tbh there's not much i can say because.. let's be honest, even though twst characters are definitely deep and interesting and fun, their personalities feel a bit "limited"(?) mostly because of their disney counterparts or because of how strong certain traits of their personalities are. and i'm not complaining.. mostly. i really wish some characters had more personality traits. but what i really hate is when some writers just.. throw away all the "ugly" or "unlikeable" traits of those characters to make them more "imagines-friendly". like i'm sorry, but sometimes i just read some fics and go "he would NOT say that". i know that people love the "OH BUT HE'S NICE TO Y/N" trope, i use it too sometimes, but like.. some people just really forget that this game is about characters who are literally based on disney villains. like it's okay, let them have flaws. and i don't mean those flaws that are like "omg he's so shyyyy >///<" or "hehe he can ramble a lot <3" NO. I MEAN ACTUAL FLAWS.

milgram: it's okay. it's okay guys. i promise it's okay that somebody can't see that character being gay or ships them with someone of an opposite sex. it's okay. and that's coming from someone who has almost no straight ocs.

like, listen, i'm a 0104 shipper. i see their relationship as romantic but i absolutely have nothing against platonic interpretations. but when people see something like ship art and go "muu is literally a lesbian btw" i'm like. i have so many hcs too but it's one thing to say that "hey i think this headcanon is very plausible and i think it's very neat" and to go "IT'S LITERALLY CANON" unironically and not as a joke. like idk, i'm just that kind of person who has lots of headcanons but until i see them actually being confirmed, i won't try to make people change their mind. (and just so you know i'm not trying to deny that she's attracted to girls. she has that vibe and she literally says "i love you" when she sees a girl and her pupils become bigger like?? but come on. it's okay for people to ship her with a male character until she literally says that she's not into boys in canon)

kazui is a whole different thing, i really was interested in the whole "yeah he's gay actually" theory and i love the memes, but now that people are saying it's "officially" canon and lowkey just. kinda being annoying, yeah, i don't even want to look at the tag anymore because i want to see actual theories and i don't want to see another "yeah he's gay so vote him inno". i'm not here to say that it's a dumb reason to forgive him, since we are literally allowed to have all kinds of reasons to forgive a character, but i think it's a weird thing to say when this guy really does seem like a very deep character, but i can't take him seriously anymore because of those theories that don't even sound like theories (and i mean it in a bad way and not bc they sound so canon)

24. "topic that brings up the most rancid discourse"

twst: honestly, this fandom mostly has like.. people-related drama, like this artist/writer/etc did something problematic, things like that. but i think if i had to choose a topic that annoys me the most.. these two topics kinda go together but i'll start with mc's gender. it actually doesn't get discussed that often, since we're supposed to see them as a self-insert, but i've really seen people say things like "mc is obviously supposed to be female" or "mc is obviously supposed to be male", etc.

i'm not going to pretend that i don't have my own opinion and i'm going to say that tbh i see twst mc as being male (one of the reasons why my mc is a guy), but that's mostly just because i usually prefer to play as a guy when it comes to games like that. (honestly if i have a choice, i choose fem mcs very rarely, stelle is like one of the few exceptions) however, i never try to prove why i'm right, i just kinda go "eh you do you". but i'm not gonna lie, those who believe that mc is female are the most annoying ones, like i get it, of course, a large part of twst fandom are women who are attracted to men, but also. there are. so many otome games. no literally a huge reason why i often don't feel comfortable playing otome games is because I HAVE NO IDEA WHY but i really just don't want to play as a girl and i don't want those characters to see my mc as a girl. (i rarely see my mc as a self-insert btw and almost always see them as their own character) LIKE I DON'T KNOW CAN'T PEOPLE WHO SEE THEIR MCS AS MALE/NB HAVE SOMETHING. like i literally love twst and obey me (i really should play it more often but again. my phone doesn't like it and idk if it will run on my tablet) exactly because of how "genderless" their mcs feel and that i can just see them as whatever gender i want them to be. and idk it just.. doesn't feel good when people are trying to remind me that "btw mc is obviously supposed to be a girl" especially when i already kinda know that considering the audience/demographic.

the second topic was probably more popular to discuss when i first got into the game and when it first came out: character x mc or character x character. i was a big character x character enjoyer and didn't really care about character x mc at first until i got interested in riddleyuu and malleyuu. but yeah, watching those sides fight was like. guys you both are losing. like some character x character fans were being mean and hating on self-inserts and some character x mc fans were saying things like "y'all just want more guys to ship". and like. there's nothing wrong with both of those things like calm down. i still can see people arguing because of that, but i just try to ignore them now tbh.

milgram: *clicks on the tag* .. yeah whatever is going on right now.

[disco-tea]

Okay but for real and I think that’s honestly what makes it so cool. It really takes so many of the horror/slasher/killer movie elements and flips them on their head and puts them into a romcom format. It basically says “what if the narrative actually just loved our ‘villain’ and the villain was lovable and we wanted good things for her” and that’s exactly what it does. Lisa is technically the villian and Taffy is the final girl, except the story is told from Lisa’s perspective so we really don’t see ALL the beats that go into a slasher movie final girl/Taffy’s perspective because the story focuses on Lisa. We see Taffy stumble off covered in blood, but that’s largely where her story ends because this is a movie about our weird monsters in love and there just so happens to be a slasher movie happening in the background.

I also love how you can kinda see how the story borrows from other stories, but again, puts it into the romcom format. Like for me I see a lot of elements of Heathers, everything from vibes/aesthetic to story beats. Except instead of a dark twisted romance about abuse and control it’s about genuine love and healing. Veronica is appalled and disgusted by the murderers, but for Lisa it really is a healing cathartic experience. We have the classic horror villain formed by trauma, but instead of the story being about trauma twisting you into something evil and ugly that ultimately deserves punishment, it takes all these things that traumatized Lisa and then turns them into ‘conduits’ for her to receive love through. The Creature is an amalgam of people who traumatized her, but instead he uses those parts to love and care for Lisa.

Then as the movie draws to a close we see more elements from Heathers, specifically the end. It’s as if Lisa is both Veronica and JD. She dies by suicide’ (sorta) while her lover watches as she goes up in flames. She dies because there is no other option. She dies because that’s what the movie has been hinting at all along. JD was always going to die and much like Veronica, Lisa has been the dead girl walking all along. (“I wish I was with you.”)

And then in some ways I feel like we take a bit of a turn into Carrie territory in that last moments of the movie. Our female killer is dead. She’s buried in the ground, and the whole world will remember her as a vicious monster who snapped because of horrible trauma regarding her mother. Her grave is being visited by Taffy, a girl who was involved with the same guy that she liked (much like in Carrie). Taffy is our Sue and Lisa our Carrie. Except, instead of Lisa’s grave being vandalized and her being demonized until the end…her grave has been taken care of. Lovingly adorned with flowers. Instead of “(she) burns in hell” being scaratched on it we have “beloved wife.”

Lisa is our monster, but the narrative loves our monster. Our monster/killer comes back, as all good slasher villains do, but instead of one last jumpscare, it is Lisa waking up on a beautiful sunny day, being softly read poetry as she lays in the arms of her lover.

I will get off my soapbox soon but one last thing I’d like to note is the way the movie also takes sexual innuendos and ‘loss of virginity’ that are present in many slashers and instead turns it into a coming of age story. Instead of sprinkling in innuendos because hey, let’s be kinda weird and rapey and heavy handed with the metaphors, it makes it more about Lisa kind of having her awakening. We have the classic “character has sex and immediately dies” but it not framed as punishment like many horror stories do. It’s not a cheap or dirty thing that happens. Lisa and Creature get symbolically married (healing the pain of the Creature having a headstone that literally says “UNMARRIED” in big bold letters) and then they consummate that marriage, which also fulfills Lisa’s dying wish.

So anyway, overall it’s just a really clever movie that takes Frankenstein and monsters and slashers and says “what if we put it in a cute lil formats with hearts a blood splatter”? What if it was really truly all about love.

lisa frankenstein was so fun because it follows the slasher movie formula really closely, actually. it's just that instead of the main character being the final girl, you're seeing everything from the perspective of the slasher villain. and the slasher villain thinks she's in a romcom.

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Mia Deserved Better: An Analysis of RE8's Themes/Symbolism

Foreword: I would like to thank @lepusrufus for posting about both Mia and Miranda, and at one point directly saying that Mia deserved better, which is a large part of what caused me to start examining her role in the canon story. Now, I will say that this post, like some of my previous explorations of Village (such as my attempt to determine Donna's age), will not be the best organized. My ADHD makes such things rather difficult for me. However, I have tried more than usual, and have broken up this "essay" into several distinct sections. Still, I am worried that my thoughts will not be as concise or coherent as they were inside my head.

Under read-more for length and spoilers for RE8: Village.

Introduction:

Village is, inarguably, about parenthood. Is it a horror game? Yes. Is it also science fiction? Also yes. But is it still, at its core, a story, and therefore contains imagery, symbolism, and themes? Yes. Now, you may be wondering what this has to do with Mia deserving better. My proposal is as follows: While Village is overall about parenthood, it is more about motherhood than fatherhood. Furthermore, Mia's background + actions from the previous game tie her story directly with Mother Miranda's, making their potential interactions massively important to the story... and could have served the theme beautifully. The missed potential in her involvement in the story is honestly a little bit absurd.

Now, let's examine each of the Four Lords + their sections, as the beginning of analyzing the game's theme.

Lady Dimitrescu + Castle:

Ah, perhaps the clearest (albeit unimportant) bits of theme within the whole game. We are immediately presented with another parent, with three daughters she loves very, very much. Initially they work as a team to capture Ethan, easily overpowering him. When they do split up, each still has dialogue regarding their family members. Each of the daughters expresses a desire to be like their mother/make their mother proud. Lady Dimitrescu herself gets very upset every time one of her daughters perishes, and delivers some important dialogue about this in her final confrontation with Ethan.

To paraphrase, Lady D says that Ethan has done something unforgiveable, caused damage that can never heal, and deserves to die before his daughter. That last part is interesting, in the sense that Lady D seems to believe that outlasting your own child is a fate so terrible that she would not wish it upon anyone, including the person who killed her daughters.

Throughout her dialogue and actions, Lady D serves as an important figure of a living mother. What do I mean by that? Well, the only other mothers we see in game are Mia and Miranda. The former doesn't show up until almost the end of the game (seeing as the "Mia" at the start is not actually the real Mia), while the latter does not have a living child, and her behavior has (presumably) changed quite a bit since that loss. As Ethan goes through Castle Dimitrescu, he watches (he causes) Lady D to go through what Miranda did all those decades ago. When we see her loss, when we experience her loss, it is something we connect with, even comparing it (as Lady D does) to Ethan's loss of Rose.

For the more visual side of symbolism, we can turn to Lady Dimitrescu herself. She is very tall, is visibly older than the majority of the Village cast, and has a fairly classic (old-school) motherly look. Everything about her reinforces her position as an example of a mother, especially when she's with her daughters and becomes such a strong figure of protection. Her height allows her to seem the caretaker for her children, even though they are scary/intimidating in their own right.

Donna Beneviento + Waterfall House:

Yes, the baby/fetus/monstrosity is part of this. No, it is not the only bit of thematic work in this section of the game.

To begin, you can find out that Donna is officially the adopted daughter of Mother Miranda. Her birth parents are dead, implied to be from especially tragic causes (more than is the norm when it comes to "orphan making"), and she has suffered greatly from it. We see that she has been seemingly neglected by Miranda, and is incredibly isolated. The tragedy of her loss, along with the consequences presented by it, are something to keep in mind further down the road, when we inevitably deal with Ethan's own death.

One of the consequences of the environment Donna was raised in is, arguably, her reliance on Angie. While interpretations of their exact relationship (aka how much control Donna actually has at any given point) vary, the two very clearly have something akin to a mother/daughter vibe. Alternatively an older sister/younger sister sort of thing. This shows in the way that Donna holds/carries Angie, as well as the contrast in their demeanors. Moreso, the fact that Donna gave a part of herself to create Angie is almost enough to make the symbolism nonnegotiable.

We also see that Donna has a strong understanding of family/family dynamics, through the way that she uses her powers to manipulate Ethan. She dissects his connections to Mia and Rose, taunts him with the lengths he's willing to go to save his child, then shows him a grotesque version of parenthood: The aforementioned fetus monster. Does the monster represent Ethan's fears, or Donna's?

What if the monster is how Donna sees herself, in some way, perhaps thinking that it's her fault her parents died? Bit of a stretch, but it's not a keystone of my theory, so I'm just throwing it out there. We could, however, go a step further and ask ourselves if Donna has noticed the way Miranda neglects her, and the fetus monster is how Donna thinks Miranda sees her. A baby, true, but grotesque, so terribly imperfect compared to her "real daughter" (Eva, obvs).

Regardless, the monster presents an ugly side of parenthood. It shows us the blood, the hunger (with the way it repeatedly attempts to swallow Ethan whole), the wailing. If Lady D shows us the love of parenthood, the bond, Donna in turn shows us the hate, the misery. Everything that one must endure to reap the rewards of family.

Lastly, we get one last bit of symbolism with Donna's death: We play a game with Angie. A childhood classic, hide and seek. Ethan chases her down repeatedly, stabbing away, seemingly only hurting the doll. But what happens when he kills Angie? It turns out that he killed Donna. You kill the child, you kill the parent. A reinforcement of the connection that comes with parenthood, along with another notch in Ethan's family-murdering belt (not saying that he's the "true antagonist" or anything, just keeping track for one of my later points).

Moreau + The Reservoir

Let's get the worst possibility out of the way: Moreau, weakest and sickest of the four lords, lives in a reservoir, where he is relatively safe. To defeat him, you have to drain the water, forcing him onto dry(ish) land. Paired with the main ideas of his section (which I will detail after this nightmare), one could theorize that he's meant to represent birth itself. Again, he's safe in his ("womb") water, and becomes vulnerable when he leaves (like a fragile newborn). Kinda gross, in my opinion, and also not a strong enough connection for me to care much about. It was merely an interesting (albeit horrifying) enough thought that I felt it warranted sharing.

Moving on to the big stuff with Moreau: He's a baby. Evidence: Whiny, has difficulty moving around, struggles to adapt to his growth, throws up a bunch, loves his mother very much, cries for his mother when he's in trouble, etc. Although Mother Miranda does not care for him, he clearly cares for her, and plays yet another role of an abandoned child (like Donna). Without Miranda there to protect him, he perishes terribly, crying out for someone who does not care to answer.

Hearing him cry out for Miranda, over and over, only for her to continue ignoring him is a key piece in the build-up to our confrontation between Ethan and Miranda. The game, in many ways, centers around the comparison between the two. In my humble opinion, Mia should have been involved in this comparison, as opposed to supplying the solution to the result of said comparison. Yes, I know that was a lot of words that don't mean much yet, but trust me, I'm getting there.

Heisenberg + The Factory

Ironically, of the four lords, Heisenberg is the most similar to Mother Miranda. In his massive factory, he is alone except for his numerous experiments, the results of decades of playing God. In comparison to Ethan + Mia, Heisenberg represents artificial parentage, or more accurately, the artificial creation of "life". While the others Lords also performed experiments, they used living subjects. Heisenberg instead chose to use corpses, which he then "brought back to life" with cybernetics + his powers, a somewhat futuristic version of Dr. Frankenstein.

Together, Miranda and him show a rotten side of parenthood (whereas Donna + Moreau showed us the uglier side of the children themselves). To put it simply, they are bad parents. They throw their "children"/experiments into the fray, uncaring, using them as pawns for their own greater gain. The most important part of this is that Heisenberg offers to "help" Ethan: By using Rose as a weapon. In his act of refusal, Ethan demonstrates one of several important distinctions between himself and Mother Miranda. Where she is willing to use her "children" (read: lives that she is responsible for) as tools, he is not.

Miscellaneous Symbolism/Imagery:

The old hag is one of my favorite parts of Village. She's seemingly nuts, has a crazy old lady laugh, wears bones that make soothing bone noises when she moves, and she draws lots of symbols in the dirt. If you look closely (I can provide screenshots if anyone desires, but it will take a bit of work to get them onto my computer), she's drawing one of the most iconic images in the titular village: The winged unborn. This symbol acts as the key you build up after every fight with a Lord, understandably called the Unborn Key (which turns into the Winged Unborn Key). Whether this counts as foreshadowing towards the hag's identity reveal is technically irrelevant, but I like to think it does.

In essence, you build up the key, this depiction of an infant, to progress in the game. The more wings it gains, the closer you are to your goal of rescuing your child.

The cadou itself is very clearly fetus-shaped. Furthermore, the only place within the human body that we know it ever gets implanted is in the "tummy" (thanks Moreau), aka roughly where someone's womb is/would be. Every infected person we see presumably had the Cadou implanted there (though I think it would be interesting if implanting it in different spots caused different mutations. of course, that is a discussion for another day). To become immortal, you have to "bear" a "child". Does it get more direct than that?

Mother Miranda gained her immortality in part for her grief at the loss of her child. She embodied the despair that Lady D spoke of, becoming an eternal source of anguish. Just as the loss of a child is a wound that lasts forever, so too would Miranda last forever (well, until Ethan comes along).

Mia is a loving mother, who puts up with the BSAA making her move across the world, deals with the complications of having a mold husband and mold baby, and has proved herself (see her section in RE7) to be an immense badass. Previously I had forgotten that, and even embarrassed myself in the comments of another person's post by implying she wasn't a tough, ass-kicking machine. Y'all remember feral Mia? People talk about "poor Ethan's arms", but sometimes we forget that Mia was one of the people who did a number on them. Furthermore, she's one of the only living people (from outside the village) to have any connections (pun intended) to Mother Miranda. They worked together, although possibly not directly, on Evelyn. If anyone in Village has a chance of really understanding Miranda's plight, or knowing the truth behind it, it would be Mia. Yet we don't see them interact a single time. Which leads me to the next section...

Conclusion On Theme + Missed Potential:

Okay, okay, so it's pretty obvious at this point that, as previously stated, the game's theme is parenthood. Every section has its symbolism, the story is very obviously about a man trying to rescue his daughter, etc, etc, but what's the point? Is there a lesson, or a more focused interpretation of the central theme? Let's take one last step back, and focus on something I've mentioned a few times now: The comparison between Ethan and Mother Miranda.

Recurring dialogue from Ethan, Alcina, and Mother Miranda all point towards the developers acknowledging that the characters are similar, but there's nowhere near as much conversation about it as I would like. Several times we have the antagonists ask Ethan how he's so willing to kill someone else's child, or prevent them from (essentially) doing what he's doing (aka saving his daughter). While Ethan responds with a mix of "well you started it" and "aghhh fuck-a-you, bitch", there's a much more solid, unspoken difference: Mother Miranda sends her underlings to kill, so that she may revive her daughter. Ethan kills (read: does the work himself) to get his daughter. The difference is much bigger, and more important, at the end of the game, when we realize just how far it goes. Ethan dies to save his daughter. Time and time again Mother Miranda has killed others for her work, but in the end she is stopped when someone willingly dies to stop her.

Where does Mia come in? Mia, the badass mother, the one who once worked alongside Mother Miranda, should have been the nail in the coffin. She is the one who survives, who lives on to raise Rose, she is the silent solution to Ethan's sacrifice. Miranda, you fool, what could you have accomplished if you had held onto your makeshift family? Through Mia (and Chris, to a lesser degree), his "loss" becomes a victory. There's a certain poetic justice that comes with Rose's full family being instrumental in saving her, when Miranda so readily spurned her own family.

Mia could have had an actual conversation with Miranda, their history giving the latter a reason to actually listen. I'm not saying that Miranda would have changed her mind/plans, but the conversation would have been a well-needed contrast to Ethan's "arggg what the fuck is happening, I only have two reactions to things. agg fuck you". Additionally, I feel that Mia (who was captured and had to endure who-knows-what) deserves the opportunity to be the one who points out Miranda's mistakes, who delivers the final "fuck you" to her. More than that, she's the one at the end who can say that hey, maybe she can understand some of what Miranda did. Was there anything her and Ethan wouldn't have done to save Rose? As much as Ethan is a foil to Miranda, Mia could (and should) have played a similar role.

When so much of the story and symbolism revolves around Miranda's experience as a mother, it only would have been fair to shine a light on her equivalent. Her better.

There's more I wanted to say/feel like I didn't properly get across, and I might add more to this at some point, but it's 5:40 AM right now, and I'm starting to feel like my brain is slowing down, so... Feel free to reblog/comment and add your own thoughts!

[lilyharvord]

I saw another anon on king mavens page ask how Cal would react if mare died and they didn’t wanna answer bcuz it’ll make them go into a depressive state. So if u don’t mind how do YOU think Cal would react if Mare died. If u don’t wanna write this u don’t hv too tho

I too saw annie's response, and while it makes me super sad to think about as well.... I've thought about it... I may have started writing a fic about it once (it was like once chapter), and I had an idea. So I'll give you my branched ideas. They're loooong so I have put them under the read more.

idea 1: Mare dies before they are married, before anything.

It's horrific. People are shocked... the little lightning girl? Dead? Impossible. Cal doesn't immediately hear about it, he's so busy he's doesn't know something's happened until he walks into a room and everyone goes quiet and slowly looks at him like he might collapse right then and there. He finds out because Farley pulls him aside. She takes him away from everyone to a quiet little garden with a fountain and tells him what happened. When he hears, he just sort of gives her this confused look, like HE doesn't understand, doesn't believe. Then he sort of sinks down onto one of the benches and just sits there. Doesn't move, doesn't even seem to be breathing. Farley thinks he'll explode in a ball of heat and rage and pain, but instead he just gets really really quiet, and really cold. The air around her gets so cold her breath fogs in front of her. He asks her to leave him alone and she does. He sort of draws into himself after that, doesn't really speak to anyone, spends a lot of time running and sitting at his desk and staring out the window. He attends the funeral but is quiet the whole time, he only speaks to the Barrows and even then, there isn't much to say that wouldn't hurt either party. After that he BURIES himself in his work. He gets so good at it that one day he looks up and ten years have passed. He's still got the stack of letters they wrote to each other, and he even has the letter he had been drafting to send to her on the front where he lost her. It ends with the phrase: I miss you. And god does that ring true. He miss her like a limb he lost. It feels like a part of him was torn away, just like with Maven, just like with his father, just like with Nanabel when she passed a few years back, just like the hole his mother left without him even knowing it was there. He visits her grave that year, just sort of sits under the little tree they planted, looks out at the mountains as the sun sets behind him, and talks to her like he does with Maven, tells her about everything that's happening. After a while, he just falls quiet and sits there, digging his hand into the grass and dirt right above the grave, like he can dig down to her, like it's her skin and he can still feel it's warmth. He swallow really heavily and then says: I never met anyone else that made me feel the way you did... I don't think I ever will. You were it. You were going to be it. And then he gets up and leaves. He runs into Gisa down in the Ascendent, they grab coffee at what was once Mare's favorite coffee shop, now it's Gisa's. They talk about everything, never mentioning Mare. Gisa only asks once if he's seen anyone, and he just shakes his head, and she gives him a tiny smile and says: she wouldn't have minded... well if a random bolt of lightning came from the heaven and struck you, then I guess you would know she minded. They laugh about that, and then he leaves cause he has an early flight home. When he gets back, he puts the letters in a box and then puts that box in a drawer. He never sees anyone else though. Doesn't even really fool around with anyone either. He tries once, and the whole time he just thinks about her, thinks about all the what if's and could be's. He apologizes profusely to the girl and says that it's not going to work. Something in her understands, some weird warmth that she gets that makes her pull him into an extra tight hug before she leaves from his little apartment in Archeon. He doesn't mind being alone as much, he has his friends and a strange little belief/hope that someday, he will see Mare again. And when he does he is going to pull her into the tightest hug and never, ever let go again.

idea 2: Mare dies after they are married and have at least 1 child

This one hurts far more. He knows she's on missions, and they made a pact to never be on missions together so that if the unthinkable happens and one of them does die, Coriane will have the other at least. Its a god awful early hour of the morning when there is knock on the door. Coriane is sleeping in his and Mare's bed, she had a nightmare and immediately came for comforting snuggles. He thinks he's dreaming when the knock comes again, a little more instant this time. He gets up, and Coriane sleepily trails after him, curious as a cat always. When he answers the door, he picks her up and is still sort of half asleep. When he sees the young soldier standing on the porch in uniform and the most pained look on his face, he is suddenly wide awake. The soldier reaches up and removes his hat before pulling out an envelope with the official Montfort seal on it. He holds it out and quietly says, "I'm sorry."

When Cal takes it, he worries that his hand is shaking, but it is perfectly still, Coriane is falling asleep on his shoulder, not even aware of the ramification of what this little envelope means. And he just sort of looks up at the man and asks, "Do the Barrows know?" The man blinks before saying, "Protocol dictates immediate family are informed first... spouses are immediate family along with children. We leave it to them to inform the rest...I'm sorry again sir." Then he gives a little clean military salute and leaves. Cal stands there for a long time looking at empty space, wondering what comes next, what he is even supposed to do. Coriane answers for him: by lightly tapping his cheek and whispering that she's cold. He closes the door, and sets the letter on the little table by the door. There are already four other letters there. One, an invitation to Farley's wedding to Cordelia at the end of the month, and another is a letter from Julian addressed to all of them, most likely about his trip with Sara to see the land north of Montfort. But there is her name in beautiful script on both envelopes. There is her favorite jacket hanging on the peg she always hangs it on. There is the book she left on the table, chaptered at the exact part she was on. There is her favorite mug in the sink because Coriane asked to drink her milk from it last night. She is everywhere in the house, and yet that letter means she will never be in it again. Those were her things. They not longer are. He carries Coriane up the stairs and puts her back in their his bed and then lays next to her, watching her chest rise and fall as she sleeps, a tiny smile creeping to her lips as she dreams, completely and blissfully unaware of how her life has fundamentally changed now. Then he rolls and stares at the ceiling, but the tears come and they don't stop as they fall silently. He gets up and showers at dawn--he didn't sleep-- and cries a little more there. He has to crouch down under the scalding water and bite down on his knuckle to keep from sobbing out loud and waking Cori. It's pitiful, and he knows it. She would be furious with him for not being honest about how he feels and trying to hide it like its some ugly thing. But it feels ugly, a twisted ugly thing in his chest that is screaming and clawing at his insides. He stands, turns the shower off, steps out, shaves, does his morning routine, and then wakes Coriane and gets her ready. She's still sleepy, doesn't understand, asks him when mommy is coming home, when she will be back so they can go to the market and get ice cream. He says they'll go today, but his voice shakes, even as he tries to hide it. Then he takes her to the Barrows, tells Ruth and Daniel to gather all of them together. When they are all sitting before him in the living room, packing it to the brim, he takes out the letter and reads it. There is a horrible silence when he finishes and folds it before putting it back in the envelope. Ruth slowly pulls Coriane toward her and then lifts her into her lap and hugs her so tightly Cori actually whines about it for a second before she sees the look on Cal's face. They all sit in the kitchen after that and Ruth makes tea and she makes hot chocolate for the kids and gives Coriane an extra 4 marshmallows. The kids leave to go play and the adults sit and discuss the logistics, where is the will, was the a will? Do they have to adhere to anything if there isn't one? Would she want to... to be buried on Tuck with Shade? The will would probably say. Should they do that if there isn't one? Ruth offers to take care of Coriane while Cal deals with everything, settling paperwork, etc. etc. Then everyone kinda starts talking about everything again, and he just sits in silence and stares at this knot on the table that Mare pointed out to him because she said it looked like a turtle on its back. He traces it a few times, just sort of thinking about that moment and all the other times they would be in this kitchen doing dishes after family gatherings etc. Farley watches him from across the table

before getting up and nodding for him to follow her outside. Everyone pretty much doesn't notice them leave, or they pretend not to notice. They sit outside on the back porch in silence, just the two of them. After a little bit, it starts to snow. The first snow of the year. Farley holds her hand out to catch the flakes and says quietly: "I hate that it doesn't rain when these things happen. It always feels like it should be raining." He nods silently in agreement, and then she sets her hand on his shoulder, and he bends forward, letting the weight of it drop his head into his hand. He doesn't cry again, he honestly doesn't understand why he feels nothing now, just emptiness, and numbness from the tips of his fingers all the way to the tips of his toes. Even with Maven he didn't feel this way. He felt something then, something biting and hot like a pan that he touched when it just came off the stove. They sit like that for a long time before Coriane comes outside, and slips underneath his arm to snuggle against him. Farley gets up and leaves then, sensing she's said her peace and he understands she's there if he needs her. He holds Coriane close when the back door closes, and she whispers quietly to him, "Mommy's not coming home, is she?" and he just squeezes her once in answer. She frowns and stares out at the snow for a second and then turns around to face him and cups his cheeks in her little hands like she had seen Mare do a hundred times when Cal was in the middle of an especially hard day. She looks at him with a very serious expression for a child and he can see Mare in her when she does that, in the crease of her brows and the slight squint in her eyes. In the hint of chocolate brown in the curls of her hair. She will be furiously beautiful like her mother, and he had a feeling someday she will break a man's heart like his is breaking now. She looks at him for a good little bit and then says, "don't worry, I will take care of you." And he laughs, knowing that Mare always said the same thing. He pulls her close again and whispers with a thick voice, "it's my job to take care of you. But it's just us now... we have to take care of each other."

The funeral is in the spring. Cal pushed it off. Mare hated the winter. Even though she had happier memories of it now, her childhood and the painful clenching of her empty belly were like a permanent stain on the season. He would not bury her in that time. When the snow thaws and the ground melts, they release her ashes on a hill and leave stone for her on a hill under a tree, with a view of the mountains. There is a long line of epithet underneath her name: beloved daughter, sister, friend, wife, mother. Staring at it, Cal wonders if she knows just how important she had become. If she knew that she wasn't just a captain, or a figurehead that brought a centuries old regime to its knees. Everyone leaves after, the Barrows going last, but Cal and Coriane stay. Cal just sitting in the grass next to the grave, the wind in his hair while he watches the mountains for a little while. Coriane sits on the grave, probably not the nicest thing to do, but she does, and traces Mare's name over and over again on the stone with her little finger. "Mommy had a long name." She says as she traces the four names on the stone. Cal hesitated to put his name on there with hers, but he adopted the Barrow name as much as Mare took the Calore one when they married. And in the very, very short will she had drafted, that he almost didn't read because reading it made everything real, she asked that he put both their names on it (but to put his name before hers and she even made a little quip at him in the will about it which made him laugh, even as it made him cry). He glances at Cori after she says that and nods. She then crawls into his lap and they sit watching the mountains before Coriane says, "Uncle Julian says that when people die, they become the dirt that feeds the trees and the grass... do you think mommy is happy to be tree food?" He laughs and hugs her really close before saying, "She's not tree food. That dust we let go of today was mommy. She's on the winds now, traveling everywhere."

He does not remarry, no matter how many years pass, and how many women try to infer that it might be for the best if Coriane had mother in her life. He thinks its a stupid notion that he can't raise his own child on his own. And its hard, god is it hard. But he does it. He makes Coriane Barrow Calore into a women that Mare Molly Calore Barrow would have been very proud of. And he holds onto the notion that someday, when he dies, and they scatter his ashes, that his will find Mare's and they'll be together again that way.

[lucifers-favorite-pen]

How The Obey Me Brothers Would Do in a “The Forest” AU

Fandom: Obey me

Pairings: None

Warnings: Swearing, idiocy, mild gore

The Forest was just released for the new Oculus headset, and Levi could NOT pass up this opportunity. However, it’s just his luck he got his hands on a cursed copy of the game, and ended up sucking the House of Lamentation into the game! Here’s how our favorite boys faired in the universe of “The Forest”

Lucifer:

Is pissed.

Bitches about it heavily

Is irritated that he has to find and wrangle a digital son now as well as his siblings. 

Would definitely help everyone else build a little shelter before nightfall, but would be grumbling about how much work he has to do at home and how far behind this would put him. 

Doesn’t let MC lift a finger and is 100% a mother hen the whole time. 

Seems inconvenienced by the whole cannibal thing, until he realizes magic doesn’t exist here and he has to use his melee fighting skills to kill them. Skills that are a little rusty...

Teams up with Beel to be the camp dads and take care of everyone

Super paranoid about the stability of the walls and the house at the beginning

Dies from eating a poisonous berry. He didn’t know he could be affected by poison in this game.

Over all, does his best to keep everyone alive, and feels really bad when someone dies. 

No longer feels bad when he learns that the worst thing that happens is you lose all your stuff and you respawn. 

A solid 7/10 job. Probably dies a few times due to someone else being an idiot, but is a pretty good survivalist when push comes to shove. 

Mammon:

Is also pissed

He was in the middle of counting the grimm from his latest modeling gig when he was sucked into the game.

Bitches and moans with/at Lucifer, but tries to build and maintain a shelter.

Who’s Timmy?

I don’t think crows exist in the game, but seagulls do and they all land on his fingers and he makes friends with them.

Is very upset when one of his brothers kills a bird for food or to simply carry around its head as a trophy. 

Sees cannibals and tries to trade with them with the grimm he has in his pockets.

Dies on sight.

Now when he sees or hears cannibals he screams and cowers behind MC 

When they go away or the screaming stops, he stands up straight and dusts off his jacket “Psh, I wasn’t afraid! I was trying to comfort you from behind! YOU were the one afraid”

After a while in the game, he gets his shit together and honestly kinda kills it. 

This is the avatar of greed, you know he is going to gather and horde so many valuable resources and then guard them with his life. 

“Mammon I’m hurt please stop hissing at me and let me have the medicine bottle”

*hiss* “You can have ONE pill and ONE pill only”

Over all, the definition of “They had us in the first half ngl”

8/10 for managing the group’s food and resource stores so well and only dying a fuck ton of times. 

Levi

...oops?

Feels quite guilty, but is also secretly pumped to immerse himself in the game.

Was extremely skilled at this game IRL and tries to explain how it works to everyone else, but they’re all so pissed and no one’s listening.

“That’s fine, who would want to listen to a yucky otaku like me anyway!” 

Magic doesn’t exist here, but that doesn’t stop Levi from yeeting himself into the ocean and turning into a giant sea monster while his brothers complete the game. 

They don’t want his help? They don’t want to know that the cannibals can’t swim and that they’ll be safer if they build a boat and live in a boathouse on the water? Fine. Then Perish <3

That goes for Timmy too, fuck that kid. 

Doesn’t want MC to suffer tho, so he’ll kill a few sharks and throw them up over the wall with his tail. (I’m assuming that if the game is released for Oculus Rift that they will get their shit together and also make sharks edible)

Is having a grand time taking over the ocean. 

Will sometimes go to shore to visit MC. Everyone is confused as to where he has been and how he is thriving. He just smiles and jumps back in the water.

10/10 strats. Never once dies. Tells everyone what they were doing wrong and how they could have had it easier when they beat the game and are back IRL out of spite.

Satan

Angy

Is throwing things in their spots while building the shelter, but is still helping

Spawns in with the book he was reading in his hand.

That book is eventually stolen from his grasp in the night and used as kindling for the fire.

Lucifer explains that if he didn’t steal his book they all would have died. 

Satan does not give a fuck

“Use the kid’s stupid fucking drawings you dipshit!”

“I can’t they’re story items!”

Goes on a rampage and kills so many deer, effectively feeding the group for a week.  

Sees the cannibals for the first time and thinks “same” 

Pretty good fighter and pretty resourceful when it comes to making armor and weapons. 

Outfits MC with the all of his prototypes and tells them to go run at a tree

“How do you feel, MC?”

“Like I ran at a tree with a deer skin on my chest”

“Interesting”

Very upset at the whole no magic thing, but will work with it.

Over all, 7/10 job. Dies a couple times from cannibals and the other monsters, but makes it to the end.

Asmo

Oh dear. 

Oh dear this sweet summer child. 

“Why are we looking for this child when he’s so ugly?”

Is distraught and so very upset this is happening to him. Cries variations of “woe is me” for the first five hours of game play

Does not help build a shelter

Does not help gather food and resources

Does not help period. Only whines. 

Sees cannibals sprinting and jumping towards the shelter and pushes Lucifer in front of him

“Take him! I’m too pretty to die!”

“HEY!”

What follows after the first three days is a slow decent into madness. 

Ends up butt ass naked for the majority of the game because the clothes he spawned in with were ripped to shreds and “No animal skin clothing in this world is good enough to adorn my perfect body”

Starts speaking to the animals and becomes friends with all of them like a Disney Princess. 

The animals come to his aid when he lets out a specific shriek that calls them to his side.

Spends his time weaving flower crowns for MC, his brothers, and his animal friends. 

Everyone knows he’s snapped when Beel brings back the dead body of a cannibal and Asmo dips his dirty little finger into an open wound and wipes the blood on his lips. 

“I just love this shade! Don’t you?” 

5/10 job. Dies multiple times from trying to befriend hostile animals, but also has an army of woodland creatures at his disposal by the end of the game.

Beel

Bro you know this mans is about to make this game his bitch

Spawns in with a cheeseburger.

Eats the cheeseburger.

“I have a son?”

“I HAVE A SON :D”

“Where is my son?”

Honestly the thought of Beel in this game is so sexy like I’m simping so hard rn 

Grab your water skins and buckle up bc it’s about to get thirsty up in here y’all

A shirt? Beel doesn’t know what those are anymore

He crafts one of those shoulder harnesses out of hide and bone and sticks a bone shiv thing on the forearm 

Don’t mess with this demon when his dinner and his family is on the line.

Is not afraid of anything except the death of his loved ones.

Cannibals? Nah, dinner.

Other monsters? Nah, dinner. 

Full shirtless lumberjack mode with Lucifer, and later Mammon, when cutting down trees in the forest. MC is drooling. 

Definitely makes a game out of how many trees they can all chop down before giving up.

Plays knuckle bones with Belphie and MC using real knuckle bones. 

Doesn’t want to share his food with the others but will if they didn’t get anything to eat that day. 

Chef Beel. That’s it that’s the post. 

10/10 job. Only dies once throwing his body over Belphie’s sleeping one to save him. 

Get’s annoyed when he finds out Belphie was fake sleeping

Very sexy. Would watch. 

Belphie

Nah dude no thanks 

Alexa play “Wake Me Up When September Ends”

Alexa play “Billie Jean”

“And the kid is not my son”

Get’s so fucking pissed when he finds out he can’t sleep without everyone else deciding to sleep too so he just lays down with his eyes closed and hopes for the best.

Doesn’t help with anything unless someone asks him to

Even then he’ll roll his eyes like brat and slowly do it

An actual sloth

No like he clings to MC and Beel like a sleepy sloth 100% of the time

He can’t find any cows and is sad so he settles for the local deer instead. 

Fake sleeps through most of the whole thing, paying monster and cannibals alike absolutely no mind. Beel will take care of it.

Freaks the fuck out when Beel dies on top of him and goes into a rage and kills everything in sight. 

Very sweet reunion when he realizes that they just respawn.

No longer pays death any mind and continues fake sleeping. 

0/10. Virtually useless. 

Masterpost

[ringmyheart]

Can I request Vin Jin boyfriend headcanons and some fluff? (You don't have to force yourself)

(This and the other vin jin rq were merged!)

Honestly the way I see it, it doesn’t matter if you’re a very calm person or outgoing person. No matter what this relationship is gonna end up being considerably chaotic

He ropes you into everything he does. Doesn’t matter if u r a design student or an architecture student or if ur on the opposite side of the school from him, u r practically in his class. Dating him is like signing a contract sealing away ur own life bc he makes it a point to be ALWAYS w u

In class he doesn’t gaf if the teacher has ur seat on the other end of class, he is somehow finding a way to sit next to u against ur will or not. And when the teacher moves u two away from eachother INTENTIONALLY bc of this, he is threatening whoever happened to sit next to u to trade seats w him. He will go as far as to dress up as them to make it look like they’re them to be next to u and he’s so dramatic ab it.... being away from u felt like u were star crossed lovers whom the world was fiercely against

And if UR against this cuz ur tired of getting in trouble in class, or if you reject any of his advances, he’s gonna be really, really, really offended. He will at first sputter and be kinda shy and embarrassed about it, before he goes “fine! Have fun on your own without me, the greatest thing in your fucking life!”

He move seats back and will glare at you periodically every five minutes to pavlov dog you so that every five minutes every day, even when he’s not there, you feel the burning stare of vin jin

If you’re his s/o, he’ll buy you a matching pair of sunglasses so ur the freshest looking couple around Seoul (they’re hideous and thick but he thinks u look fly)

The glasses don’t have nearly as many layers as his does for himself so u can see, and u wonder how he managed to make them just as bulky and if he did it on purpose to sabotage u. Like “did u make my glasses purposefully ugly so no one else will want me?”

U have to dodge a punch after saying anything like that ab his fashion decisions LMAOAO

He’s rlly proud of u two matching. With the glasses and anything in general. He’ll make you wear a jacket matching his, or the same shoes and he will stop people in the hall and be like “wait. Notice anything cool ab us today?? Cooler than normal??”

And when they don’t respond he boasts “that’s right!! Me and my other half r matching. Look at us and weep, losers.” He thinks u two look so good....... if ur enthusiastic ab wearing matching things too he is elated u have to pray that tomorrow he won’t show up w another “if lost return to Vin Jin” “I’m Vin Jin” pair of jackets or anything of the like bc it happens SO OFTEN

And on the topic of sharing when it’s cold he likes to share jackets and blankets w u. Ur desks r moved by eachother by vin jin himself and u two share one blanket over u and shiver bc he just likes it, sharing w u plus he’s slightly warmer. And yes if you guys had indivizual blankets you would be warmer, but u guys have to struggle together he doesn’t care what anyone says (yes even ur protests ur sharing that one blanket wether he has to wrap it around u himself and tear up the one u brought on ur own or what”

He is so blind in love that he cannot tell when u guys suck at stuff. Like if ur in the wrong he doesnt care ur RIGHT and he’s taking that to the grave. He can belittle u and call u out but if someone else says ur in the wrong it’s on sight

Will die protecting ur name even when ur the one who was genuinely wrong

He forces u to make a beat for him to rap to. He loves rapping and wants to enjoy it w u, so ur forcefed YouTube videos of how to beatbox so u can be his bgm and eventually u probably just start to enjoy it to

And u always start a beat and he starts busting out rhymes and it’s SO BAD. It doesn’t matter if ur good at beatboxing if vin Jin is on the track w u it’s gonna sound terrible he brings the quality down immensely but u two just cannot tell

Like after a two session ur like “omg... that was so good. We should go pro?” “Fuck yea we should we’re better than those posers” “we could rlly make it in the industry fr” no u absolutely could not

During the school festival, u sang with him and it was SO bad. Half the crowd is gonna have 2 be hospitalized but u two had FUN up on the stage

Like I said, he has absolute faith in u. All u do is right. If ur driving a car for the first time, he is going to be ur little hype man doesn’t matter if u suck. U hit a curb and he went “YES babe!! Ur killing it cant wait till u hit the road bby” Ur not allowed to touch a car for the next two years now bc he kept cheering u on when u we’re doing CLEARLY wrong things

On a plane u r looking for the bathroom like pensively and u see a handle and look back and r like “is this it???” And vin jin thinking u r all righteous will go “yea babe go for it” and u open it and u depressurizate the cabin immediately

Now both on like 5 no fly lists

He loves to do things with u, like I mentioned earlier, and things he wouldn’t do alone he’ll do w u. Like drawing alone?? Boring. Drawing w Y/N??!!! Who knows what could happen..... so much fun could ensue. Maybe he will draw u cutely. Maybe he will draw u so ugly u will be forced to engage in a fight.

He likes to play just dance w u and compete for the “greats/all star!” Little titles above, and it becomes like a Friday night ritual for u two to turn just dance on and just go at it. But sometimes he’ll get too intense and suddenly he’s actually fighting for the chance to beat u. Will trip u so u lose on purpose

He makes u listen to him sing and rap to u. And u try to leave and he hugs tightly and is like LISTEN IFS FOR U, DONT BE UNGRATEFUL and now u have to listen

He makes u a mixtape of songs he made himself and they are all considerably worse than “remember the times we had”. It’s uploaded on SoundCloud and all the comments r hate and u listen to it a lot bc u know he loves u sm he made u a mixtape ya ur gonna play that but everyone else hates it w a passion

Like the comments r like:

Daniel: well.... it’s definitely a song 😅 I’m glad you love (y/n) so much!

Duke: he’s not making it out the hood 😐

Zach: never let this man in a studio AGAIN

Mary: this should’ve stayed in the CD

(Y/N): love it! 😍

Zoe: kill your producer 💀

Mira: ...

He’s overprotective too

If someone looks at u for more than a second he’ll go “what?? U think she is hot, huh? I’ll kick ur ass fucking perv.... cmon babe let’s go”

Will throw his arm around u and streer u the opposite way of any potentially good looking ppl to keep ur eyes on him

Oh Daniel is coming?? What a coincidence u and vin Jin suddenly have to turn the corner to the other way of ur classroom for some reason

Eli is near?!!! Oh no u just got milk spilt in ur eye!! Oh no now he has to wipe ur eyes and u two have to leave the cafeteria whatever will he do

It’s not that he doesn’t have faith in u, he doesn’t have faith in other men. Like he thinks they r all competition, and doesn’t doubt ur loyalty rather doubts how good he can b for u

WILL beat someone up for u. If someone smokes while ur around suddenly his fists r swinging at them cuz even if u smoke or vape urself no one else can get that stuff in ur lungs but YOU or HIM!!

If ur crossing the street and a car almost hits u, it’s the cars fault and he’s kicking the license plate and cursing it out for almost touching u “stupid fucking piece of metal”

Is the type of boyfriend to call u when he knows ur in an Uber and be like “babe u got ur gun w u right?? Oh don’t forget ur BOMB and ur MACHETE!! Yeah just left the house I killed some ppl nbd haha anyways HRU what’s ur Uber driver like” so the driver of ur car won’t even think ab kidnapping u. He has got ur back even when u do not want it

He doesn’t want u to see his eyes, so he’ll tell you to look away so he can take his glasses off and look at u in full color in all ur glory but he never tells u WHY he’s telling u to look away u think it’s a weird thing of his, or he’s insecure ab his face which is partially true but really he’s taking his glasses off and just looking at u. Adoringly.....

He hates PDA. He loves PDA. Do u see his dilemma

Like he loves PDA but doesn’t want anyone seeing him vulnerable even u.... so he’ll hold ur hand and be like “EWWW WHAT R U DOING GET YR HAND OFF MINE”

If u take the lead THATS best bc he can blame it on u and it’s ur fault he HAS to lock fingers w u cuz u did it to him first and he has an excuse to touch u and v like u started this im just sending u ur own energy back 😤

The type to be just like blind, overwhelmed in love. Always thinks ab u, always wants to be w u, worries ab u a lot and frets over u without showing it.... he hates it and loves it to death. Despises it but wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world

Eats lunch w u in the cafeteria and if u sit w someone else u r the ultimate traitor and he will trash talk u to hide his hurt to Mary the entire lunchtime. Kinda possessive.... wants u to also only think about him

WOULDNT EVER fight u for real. Play fights occur VERY often, like pillow fights, tripping ur foot when u say a joke insulting him, grabbing ur collar but he would sooner die than lay a finger on u

Verbal fights happen a lot and if he ever like LOSES it he may lash out and almost hit u and follow thru. I don’t think he’d be able to catch himself that quickly, and if he ever did he’d regret it for the rest of his life. Literally until the day dies he will take it to his grave

He may not sputter out apologieswill just look at u incredulously and then at his hands because what had he done? What did he just do? To you???????? (Y/n))))?????? His (y/n)??? Light of his life?

Will apologize probably over text or through a note or call, and if u don’t respond he is consumed by regret and tries to find u instantly like runs back to ur place

If u forgive him he feels bad still, because does he deserve it? And he might just isolate himself for a bit bc he can’t face u and if it left a scar he is dead inside. It kills him, literally

I could go on w this but I’ll probably save it for another separate pair of hcs later 😭

If u guys ever break up he will fight for u again and won’t stop till ur back together like flowers in ur locker every day, chocolate give during lunch, etc. He wont ever give up hope that he can win u over again and be w u again. He would keep trying, when he wakes up his first thought is ur name in a cold panic bc he can’t rest easy till ur his again and he will try and show off and poorly serenade u and trash his price and be corny and cheesy to get u back

Will set up a performance w the school to let him rap w a mic during lunch for u and he’s saying bars like “(read in bad rapping voice w inconsistent beat) (y/n), love of my life, uh, without you I’d die, uh. Please won’t you take me back? Yuh, without you ima have a heart attack. (Wha!). (Y/n), love of my life, yeah, without you I’m in strife, yup! Please be mine again, (babe), I can never rest till then.”

If the embarrassment doesn’t make u take him back so he’ll pls stop, and when he stands up on the lunch tables to do a little performance doesn’t do it either, then the odd sincerity of his voice and pain in his look (even tho while rapping he sticks out his lower lip in a weird pout) definitely, hopefully will

U make everything worth it !! Truly the light of his life

I hope these were what u wanted, I just had fun w them and wrote stuff that came off the top of my head when I thought of VJ!! ❤️

[razorblade180]

Interdimensional Moms: part 1

Intro <-

Yang:So how we doin this? Drawing straws or... well we actually don’t have straws here so-

Weiss:It’s obvious that you wanna go first.

Blake:Extremely obvious.

Ruby:All over your face.

Yang:Hey now, don’t call me out like that! We all have so much to sort out here. I don’t even know where to begin. Differences could start and stop anywhere for all we really know.

Blake:From what it seems, Beacon itself would have one or two minor changes, but the real changes start after the fall. At least, for you three that is.

Weiss:You saying you’re different?

Blake:Unless you three started going on dates with Jaune at Beacon, then yes, I’m different.

RWY:(They’ve been together that long!?)

Yang:Okay, starting from Beacon...nothing really stands out too much. Jaune and I were just friends. *cringes* Back then, a certain faunus caught my eye.

Blake:Ah...right. I guess that tracks in practically every universe.

RW:Oh yeah it does. You two are joined at the hip.

Yang:Haha, really? Glad to hear it. My Blake and I are best buds! Remnant has never seen such a dynamic duo! Can’t say it didn’t take a lot of time effort after a rough patch. We actually dated in my world.

Blake:Same.

Yang:What!? How long?

Blake:I don’t know, it was pretty on again off again.

Yang:Well for me it was after Haven. Both of us had gotten pretty serious. All the growing we’ve done together and apart had brought us closer. However, Adam unintentionally put a wedge between us. His attempt to change and the problems that came with it were-

Yang stopped midway and saw the confused faces of her otherworldly teammates. They were shocked, confused even. Especially Blake, who looked the most shocked of all.

Yang:Umm did I say something odd?

Blake:Adam, he...isn’t dead?

Yang:Oh, well I guess that’s the start of the major changes then. Blake and I fought Adam at Argus. Stabbed him through the chest and watched him fall down rocks into a river.

Ruby:That lines you with my world. Dude died that day. Like any normal person should.

Yang:Well Adam is anything but fucking normal. Man has the craziest luck. A young women, the winter maiden in fact, she saved his life. She’s not exactly normal either. The maiden, Jacquelyn, ended up sticking by him to see if she could change his ways. This naturally meant we’d run into them again. And that’s how things fell apart.

Blake:What do you mean?

Yang:You were fully committed to seeing if Adam could actually change. I wasn’t, so we constantly butted heads in any situation involving him. Then we would fight about things that had nothing to do with at all. Eventually, we broke it off. We remained on decent terms but I was pretty heartbroken about the disconnect. Enter our lovable blonde idiot. Jaune did everything in his power to cheer me up.

Weiss:Sounds like him. Always such a bleeding heart. That boy just can’t help himself. Let me guess, his kindness and concern made you feel all warm and fuzzy?

Yang:Hehe, guilty. It was more of his willingness to laugh at my puns. Jaune’s always been interesting to talk to. He tries to act cool and calm even though he’s terrible at it, then comes clean right after. Before I knew it I was telling him things I hadn’t talked about with people before. I could tell he looked at me like most guys do, but also genuinely wanted to listen to me. Talk about playing unfair; he got defenseless. Suddenly I was smiling again. Anytime with him was time well spent. Then one day, I kissed him.

Ruby:Happily ever after?

Yang:Not even close! Hahaha!

Weiss:Why do you sound proud?

Yang:It’s funny looking back at it to a certain degree. Gods, I was such a brat. More than a few fights are on me. Between Blake, Raven, and other experiences, my insecurities flared up in ugly ways over nothing. It even got us to break up too. I was officially done with dating. My Ruby was out in an uncomfortable position.

Ruby:I bet! I’d never want you two fighting. Especially in my world. Picking between the person I love and my sister!? I don’t know what will happen.

Yang:I kinda do. *sets up* You’d start dating Jaune because you’ve looked at him since Beacon. The two of you would confide in each other and share a special kind of love, but it would be bittersweet. All because your sister still pines for him and never met to make him leave, and Jaune never says it, but he hates how things fell apart. He’s faithful to you and would never do you wrong, a guy to truly cherish. So... you let him go. Watch him walk back to your sister like you asked, because my happiness was worth that much to you.

Ruby:....

Yang: In my world at least. Honestly it’s still the most amazing thing I’ve seen you do. We must’ve cried over that conversation for hours. I felt so guilty and you only smiled, hugging me tight. Jaune and I had a few more stumbles. Nothing serious though. Eventually we moved in together when the world was saved. You and Oscar got together officially which made me happy. Even made our weddings a competition of who’d make dad bawl his eyes out the most. You won by the way; Raven came back into our family and into dad’s arms. Last but not least I had a baby. Yujin Xiao Long, my fucking pride and joy from above.

Weiss:Wow, that’s a lot.

Blake:What am I doing? Did I marry Sun?

Yang:Yep. You and blondes Blake, I tell ya.

Weiss:Hold the phone! Who am I with!?

Yang:Pretty sure you’re technically single. Buuuut, Neo and your have gotten pretty friendly from what I managed to interrogate out of you.

Weiss:That’s, highly unexpected. For a number of reasons.

Yang:Better believe it. Besides Cinder, a few crazies, and Salem, a few people made something of themselves. Dying sucks after all.

Ruby:You have a dead Cinder?

WBY: You don’t?

Ruby:*crosses arms* Hmph, I’ll wait my turn. Yang, you said you’re the only mother from our team. If Blake and I have been married for quite some time then what, we don’t want kids?

The joyful sunshine from Yang slipped into grayer skies. Her smile faded and it increasingly got harder to look at this Ruby without thinking of her own.

Yang:Are you sure that’s something you wanna know? I’ll tell you, but I didn’t want to bring down the mood with the problems where I from.

Blake:Problems? How big of a problem.

Yang:The biggest we’ve faced. It’s...a lot.

Ruby:Well we’ve listened this far. *takes hand* Lay it on us.

Yang:Pfft, oh boy. So...umm...another secret war came up. One that caused us to leave our friends and family for over a decade.

Weiss:A decade!?

Blake:What gets worse after Salem!? Who tries anything after a grimm queen!?

Yang:So a majority of Remnant was still unaware of her, but a fight like that can only be kept under wraps so tightly. Plenty of people still learned fractions of the truth. A few of those people weren’t exactly nice guys. They idolized her efforts and became her followers that wanted to keep her will alive, starting with taking revenge on the people who defeated her. We were so unaware. So caught up in normalcy. They ambushed us, and I mean everyone. We...we didn’t come out unscathed. Ren was crippled badly. Weiss, you almost your brother. Jaune’s family got hit but thankfully lived. The real casualties were aimed to hurt Ruby.

Ruby:Oh, of course. S-So, either you’re about to say I had no time to start a family, or...

Yang:...

Yang:When I tell you the look you made when you learned what happened to Oscar, to Qrow... that’s the moment it felt like my little sister left forever. Till this day you don’t smile like you used to. Very recently, now that it’s finally over, you’ve started looking better, but those ten years were hell. We choose to go out and fight again, avoiding contact with family. I haven’t had a real opportunity to be in my daughters life.

Ruby:How old is she?

Yang:Sixteen soon. Left her when she was four so you know. *tearing up* I missed everything. Just about anyways. Ironically it was Raven and Adam that helped her through the years with Jaune and Dad. Eventually we came back and ooohh boy was Yujin not thrilled in the slightest. Hehehe. Her right hook is really strong. I only had about a week with her before things got complicated again. *wipes eyes* But it’s okay. We left on good term. Something I definitely don’t feel like I deserve.

Blake:I can’t believe a thing like that would be possible.

Yang:Cults are a huge problem in Remnant now. You’re definitely aware of that. You actually oversee a little group from the shadows to deal with them in secret. An idea you got from experience. Adam works for you and everything. Hate to admit, but he’s become the guy you wanted him to be. Even has a family. I’m grateful to him. He personally kept my girl safe.

Blake:To think I’d hear you say that. Now I know this isn’t my world.

Yang:Don’t get me wrong, I still will hit him if given the chance. My life hasn’t been charmed and sacrifices too great were happening way too many times but it finally has gotten to a point where everyone feels like we’re taking steps towards a better future.

Weiss:Moving forward?

Yang:Yes, I was trying to avoid the phrase but yes Weiss, we’re moving forward. Still... *looks at Ruby*....

Ruby:W-What?

Yang:It’s unreal seeing you like this. My Ruby has become so strong and endured but hasn’t really picked herself up completely. All her tragedy stemmed from the loss of Oscar and Qrow; her last talk with Oscar was fight about kids too. That’s the entire reason she went off alone in the first place. Looking at you I can’t help but question my own choices. If...I just let her stay with Jaune, then maybe-

Ruby:Nope.

Yang:Huh?

Ruby:Look, if I know anything about your world, then it’s gonna be me and I can tell you without a doubt your Ruby doesn’t blame or would consider her own happiness without you. She loved you enough to take the chance to find love again. You really think there’s anything you could’ve done differently at that point. That girl is as stubborn as they come! *smiles* So buck up cowgirl. You deserve it.

A sense of warmth came over Yang as she heard those words. This other Ruby smiled at her with the same love as her own; completely caring about Yang’s feeling before her own. Yang felt so...unburdened. She couldn’t help but cry a little, laughing softly as she did. Who would’ve thought love could transcend worlds? It was so vindicating, therapeutic even.

Yang:Ruby, you’re something else entirely, you know that?

Ruby:It’s my curse. All I ever wanted was normal knees but the world said “no, special eyes!”

Yang:Well I guess I should thank the world then?

Weiss:You said your Ruby is getting better? That’s good. Still, it must be pretty weird looking at Jaune. Can’t imagine how lonely it must feel losing a love twice.

Blake:It never numbs.

Yang:Geez you two, lighten up. We can’t all be depressed. Ruby also didn’t lose Jaune. Actually....there may or may not have been an interesting...arrangement for a brief period of time.

Ruby:Ehhh what?

Yang:Hehehe well, hahaha, ummmm a decade is a very long time without feeling any kind of pleasure in a bleak situation. And you know me, I have to share things with you all my life.

Ruby:OH MY GOD!!!

Blake:*grinning* Yooooo! You loaned out Jaune!?

Weiss:That’s....accurate; in a lot of ways.

Ruby:That’s so scandalous! How could you!?

Yang:I didn’t force it! I gave the option, you said no, then you changed your mind because things got real stressful. Like come on, a decade of death and loneliness.

Ruby:Sigh...yeah. I can see it. Still, it’s so filthy. He’s a married man. What, so I’d just look at you and say “Yang I’m gonna sleep with Jaune, don’t come in the room.”

Yang:....

Ruby:What?

Yang:....Nothing.

Ruby:Bullshit! What is it!?

Yang:*scratches head* Well, I was lonely too, and a week is only so long-

Weiss:Oh so it was a group thing!!?

Ruby:WHAT!?

Yang:Only sometimes!

Ruby:SOMETIMES!?

Blake:HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! THAT IS AMAZING!

Ruby:Why are you laughing!?

Blake:Because that’s just so extreme, and not, all at the same time. I could totally see that happening.

Weiss:Same. Dang, Jaune slept with sisters. That’s dangerously close to being like your dad.

Ruby:That’s different!

Blake:Is it though?

Yang:Eh, I don’t see the problem. We’re all grown and make choices. Plus I’m the one who guided you through awkward teenage changes. It not like we didn’t share a room for years.

Ruby:That doesn’t make it okay.

Yang:Eh debatable.

Ruby:*red* It isn’t though! How could I do something so bold!? So taboo!?

Weiss:It isn’t like you’re the one who did it. Just a version of you.

Ruby:Not better!

Yang:Awwww it’s okay Ruby. Let’s hug it out. Hehehe *opens arms*

Ruby:Don’t touch me!

Weiss and Blake laugh until their sides hurt as Ruby tries escaping the bear hug that terrorized her. Yang’s world found interesting for sure. Weiss finally decides to help Ruby out.

Weiss:Got a picture of Yujin?

Yang’s eyes lit up and pulled out her scroll. Her team huddled around her and collectively cooed like that parents they are at the sight of a blonde young girl with gorgeous blue eyes with a black combat school graduation cap and gown and a certificate proudly raised up high. If it wasn’t for those eyes and shoulders length hair, they might’ve mistaken her for Yang.

Yang:She’s going to Beacon early because she’s fucking awesome like her mom.

Ruby:I think you mean her aunt?

Yang:I know what I said.

Weiss:I bet she’s just as hardheaded.

Blake:What do you think your kid is up to right now?

Yang: Well...*smiles*

xxxx

The girl in question sat at a work bench with oil on her face and her hands busy tinkering with gauntlets. She looked over at blueprints in a journal. If they were right, then she was definitely doing something wrong. How her mother made something so complex was crazy!

Yujin:Come on Yujin. You can fix a car, making gauntlets into a sword that don’t break should be easy!

Footsteps came up from behind her and a plate stacked with sandwiches. She looked up and smiled at her dad that gave her a wink, then kissed her forehead.

Jaune:Haveing fun, you grease monkey.

Yujin:Jokes on you, I like monkeys. Just a few more attempts and I’ll have the coolest weapon in Remnant. That entrance exam is as good as aced.

Jaune:Not if you don’t have a landing strategy. Tomorrow we’re going on a trip.

Yujin:Does it happen to be near a cliff?

Jaune:Who can say? Rule one of being a huntsman, be prepared for everything.

He ruffled her hair and left, laughing evilly. Yujin could tell he’s been waiting for this day. She pulled out her scroll and searched through a collection of videos labeled “mom” and found a super early one. She hit play and watched her mother give a peace sign to the camera as trees increasingly got closer from below.

Yang:Beacon rules!!!! Wooohooo!

The camera flipped and focused on a familiar blonde flailing through the air like a doll in the distance.

Yang:Oof, hate to be that guy! Wait, that’s vomit boy! Hahah, hope he survives. He owes me shoes. Poor dude. I guess he needs more training in flirting and landing. Wait, eugh I think he barfed again! Hahaha!

Jaune:Stop watching that one!!!!

Yujin:Hahaha but it’s the best one. The ending is priceless.

Jaune: *walks back down*

Yang:Well if he survives this I guess I can off him at least I can offer him mints and company. Fake it to ya make Jaune. Between me and Ruby, at least you’ll look like a player. Heh, nah, I don’t think I can support a bunny onesie.

Yujin and Jaune:*grinning* And then she did! *high-fives* Arc charm, baby!

[the-archxr]

Nobody Puts Harrington in a Corner

steve harrington x reader

Summary: What do you do when you want to go see a romance movie but have no one to take you? You haul along your best friend and have an impromptu dance lesson after, of course.

A/N: y’all I fucking love Dirty Dancing so much, it’s not even funny. This fic is honestly just self-indulgent, so enjoy??? Even if you don’t like Dirty Dancing.

Song Inspo: (I’ve Had) Time of My Life - Jennifer Warnes and Bill Medley, Hungry Eyes - Eric Carmen

•••••

“I have a business proposition for you.”

The words come out rushed, ragged and breathless. A strange mix that Steve isn’t particularly familiar with when it’s coming from you. His eyes trail up to your hunched figure, shocked at what he sees.

Your face is a blotchy red, with blown cheeks, and a heaving chest. With complete disregard of your previous statement he speaks up. “Did you run here?”

You shrug, and wipe at your forehead. “Yeah, but that’s besides the point.” Straightening your back, you almost square up Steve as a way of proving your point.

He leans his hip against the countertop with his arms crossed and hair falling haphazardly in his face. “I need to ask you something, Steve. And before you say no, just remember that I’m literally you’re most favourite person on the face of this planet who has saved your ass more times than I can count.”

“Okay..?” He pushes himself off the counter before straightening out the ugly green vest he has to wear. “What is it?”

You smile wildly but force yourself to keep some composure as to not draw Keith’s attention, who has definitely kicked you out of the store before, and wouldn’t hesitate to do it again.

“So...there’s this new movie...”

“Well there’s a lot of new movies, Y/N.” He butts in playfully, which earns a small glare in his direction (which inevitably turns into a smile, but you assume he’s too unobservant to actually notice).

“Anyway,” you exaggerate, wringing your hands together. “I want to see this movie, and no one will go with me...so I’m forcing you to be my...” you hesitate, trying to find the word. However, the one you were trying to avoid slips out. “My date.”

The boys eyes widen almost immediately as he awkwardly falls back a bit. “Your...date? Like a...date date?”

“What? No!” You say quickly, shaking your head. “No, I’m not asking you out, Harrington. I’m saving that for Family Video’s regular attendees.” You gesture to a group of giggling girls who’ve you seen here one to many times, who very obviously come here for the sole purpose that is Steve Harrington. “No, it’s cause it’s a romance movie, and I don’t really wanna’ go alone.”

He frowns and lifts his shoulders in question. “Why not?”

You laugh to yourself, the question sitting awkwardly within your mind. “Because...it’s embarrassing? I mean what would you think if you saw me by myself in that situation?”

He pauses and shrugs. “I guess I’d feel...I don’t know, pity? It’s a tough question.” He mumbles, eliciting a roll of your eyes.

You brush off his remark of it being a “tough question” and clear your throat. “Exactly, Steven. Which is why you are going to accompany me to this movie, so that way I don’t have to deal with the apparent pity.”

It’s silent for a moment. Steve chooses to lean against the counter again, as he mauls over your offer. “I don’t even like romance movies, Y/N.”

You frown and lean in closer to your friend. “I know, but please, Steve.”

You grab his hand and squeeze it, batting your eyelashes at him in the most exaggerated way you know. You don’t like manipulating people (much less your best friend), but for reasons unknown, the poor boy can never really say no to you—and you really need him to say yes.

His gaze make its way from your clasped hands, up your arm and to your face. His chest tightens and his whole body turns rigid as he watches you allow your head to lean ever-so-slightly to the side. Soon,  the tips of his ears grow hot and then -

“Um...excuse me?” Both of your necks snap to the source of the voice. It’s one of the girls from the group earlier, and you can’t help but chuckle, because she looks just as nervous as she sounds. Her eyes are quickly cast on Steve, which causes her to flick her ponytail back with a shaky smile. “My friends and I are trying to look for a certain movie, and we can’t seem to find it. Do you mind helping us?”

You turn to Steve with a smirk. He clears his throat, noticing that the hand that held his a mere few seconds ago rests casually on the counter. You look unbothered by the events that had occurred, which makes Steve’s stomach drop (and not in a good way). He frowns in your direction once more before shaking himself out of it, shooting a smile in the girls direction. “No problem.”

You laugh and stride towards the door. “The movie starts at seven, but you might as well show up thirty minutes early ‘cause you have a little tendency called ‘being late’, Harrington.”

You hold the door open, one side of your body burning with the summer heat that threatens the comfort of everyone, and the other side facing Steve and the air-conditioned store. You wait until he looks back at you, which takes him a few seconds before he’s practically shooing you away. “Yeah, yeah, we’ll see.”

You jump in excitement and wink at the boy. “See you tonight, Stevie!”

“See you tonight,” he mumbles, before turning to the jittery group of girls in the corner.

•••••

“Look who’s the late one!” Steve shouts in your direction. It’s 6:50 (which is even a little late for you) and surprisingly Steve has already arrived. “Ya know I’ve been sitting here for like, fifteen minutes.”

You shut your car door and stride up the cocky boy. “Oh, I am truly sorry, your Highness, but my dear mother was keeping me up.”

He hums, looking you up and down with fake accusation. “...Apology accepted,” he shoots back before standing up and guiding the two of you to concession.

Really, it’s a miracle that the two of you made it on time. And it’s an even bigger miracle that the last two seats in the theatre were directly beside each other; enough space for the two of you, and your obscenely large bucket of popcorn.

Steve leans over to you as the lights dim dramatically. His breath ghosts over the shell of your ear, forcing your attention onto him. “So, uh, what kinda’ movie title is ‘Dirty Dancing’?”

You shake your head at him and push his face towards the screen. “Just watch the movie, Farmer Fred.”

“You and your Sixteen Candles references...” he mutters before you kick his foot with yours in annoyance. “Okay, okay, I’ll be quiet.”

He sighs and leans back in his seat, remaining quiet for the rest of your “date”.

•••••

The movie ends quickly—way too quickly for your liking, and when the lights turn back on you can’t help but frown.

The sound of clapping from the viewers drowns out the sounds of popcorn being squished on the ground and the squeaking of the seats.

Steve is standing up, his shadow casted over you as you try to steady yourself after sitting for so long. He lets you walk past him, hand grazing your lower back as he guides you through the bustling stream of exiting movie-goers.

Soon, the two of you have left the theatre itself and face the stark cold air of the night. “So...” Steve starts, slowly walking you to your car. “What did you th—“

“It was amazing!” You shout, eyes blown with excitement as you hop back and forth. With a breath you let yourself slip into pur amusement after having to control yourself for so long. “I mean the dancing and the plot was incredible! And—and the end was just...just so good! And don’t get me started on Patrick Swayze! Like, oh my god, who does he think he is just looking like that, prancing around without a care in the world?!”

Steve laughs and stops just before your car as you unlock it. “Yeah, honestly it wasn’t that bad. The lift was something else though.” He leans against the door as you put your purse into the passenger's seat. “I mean I can’t imagine doing that! And the amount of times they probably had to do it?! Geez, it’d be hell.”

You shake your head in disbelief. “Oh, come on, it didn’t look that hard.”

Steve’s jaw drops with a shake of his head. “Well it wasn’t hard for Baby, obviously. All she had to do was jump! Johnny was the one who had to hold her up!”

You laugh incredulously at your best friend before a rather treacherous idea pops in your head. You bite your lip, slam the car door shut and look out into the somewhat empty parking lot.

“Well, why don’t we out this theory to the test...?”

Steve’s laughter dies quickly before a squeak of a “what?” slips out of his mouth. You grab his hand and lead him to a rather deserted spot just south of where your cars are parked.

“Let’s try it out! Let’s be Baby and Johnny. Let’s do the lift.” Your tone turns serious which only adds to Steve’s ever-growing nervousness.

“You can’t be serious...” His hands are deep in his pockets as he leans from one foot to the other. Strands of hair in fall in front of his face, and for a moment, in the distant light, he really does look like Johnny.

You can’t help but really notice the oddity of the whole situation. What with Steve looking like a reincarnation of Johnny Castle and you deciding to get somewhat dressed up and wear your favourite sundress—one that is oddly similar to Baby’s. It’s a funny little coincidence that you opt to point out later. But now? The two of you have to do this.

You remove your jacket, leaving it on the ground and shake out your limbs before looking straight at your friend. Steve’s face deepens with his shock. “Oh god, you are serious.”

You laugh and signal at Steve to get ready. Instead he shakes his head. “Y/N, I--I don’t think this is the best idea.”

“Steve, come on! We’re testing out are hypothesis’ as to who had a more difficult time performing the lift.”

He shuffles quickly, and with a groan, throws his jacket off his body. “I swear to god, Y/N.” You here him mumble as he nervously fidgets and bends his knees. He gets into a stance similar to Johnny’s and holds out his hands to you. His whole body is shaking—which in comparison is odd because yours simply feels light.

The cold prickles at your exposed skin, and it sends your senses into overdrive as your eyes lock onto Steve’s.

Kicking off your shoes, you dig your heels into the ground and prepare yourself.

“Oh, and Steve?” His head shoots up to you. “Don’t drop me.”

He stands up straight at that as he loses his concentration. “Oh well that’s a really comforting thing to sa—WAIT!”

You had already started running. Your feet pounding against the gravel as fly-away pebbles poke the soles of your feet; your body gaining momentum with every step.

Steve rushes into the stance, desperately trying to ground himself.

“Steve!” You shout with a laugh as you jump. His hands catch your waist as he extends his legs. It almost works but with Steve’s partially delayed actions, your head barely gets above his before he’s stumbling backward.

He falls first, with you quickly following as his grip pulls you down with him.

You land on his chest, and for a moment the air is filled with shock. Rolling onto the ground beside him, you regain your breath before bursting in laughter.

“Jesus, Y/N!” He shouts, body tingling with nerves.

By now the parking lot is empty, save for the cars of the theatres workers, which means that your laugh echoes to the neighbouring buildings.

Steve pushes a hand through his hair before inhaling deeply. His eyes cast to your figure—still rolling on the ground—and before he has a chance to reprimand you, something hits him.

It’s a sudden feeling. One that pulls the last of his breath out of his lungs and throws it into the night sky. You don’t notice his sudden change in behaviour, and to be frank, he doesn’t even really recognize what he’s feeling other than the fact that he felt this...murmur this morning. Except this time it’s amplified.

He hears pounding in his ears, and as he watches the faint, yellow light from the theatre cast over your face, he feels the pit of his stomach burst open. Butterflies flutter around in his belly and threaten to escape his throat.

The feeling—one that is shocking, but not unwelcome—is indescribable. The boy gets lost in his thoughts as he watches you finally get up off the ground and gather your things.

Steve feels as though he’s watching an old tape. The pictures move slowly, and they’re a little fuzzy, but they elicit warm, nostalgic feelings.

Suddenly your voice rings through his ears, until he recognizes that you’re looking at him a little confused. Steve is snapped out of his trance, his body jumping up to match yours. Your eyes are wide as you stare him up and down. “You get another concussion?”

The joke is familiar, but his laugh is delayed. He simply shakes his head, realizing that this is the first time he’s actually looked at you (and if he’s honest, you’re making him a little nervous). He takes note that even though you look messy--with wild hair everywhere and a breathtaking smile--he can’t help but admire you in your most natural state. However you break the moment (unknowingly) with a shrug. Spinning on your heel to your car, you continue to talk to him as he walks over to the familiar, beat-up BMW. “Anyway, I was saying that for a first time that wasn’t bad. We just need a little practice.”

“The first time?” Steve questions, leaning on the roof of his car. “There’s gonna’ be a second time?”

You shrug with a cheeky smile. “If you want...”

He allows a small smile—a smile he can’t tell if you catch from the distance, but one he hopes you feel. “Yeah. I do.”

You smile back at him, and soon your bidding him goodnight and driving out of the parking lot.

Steve, on the other hand waits. He’s stunned, obviously. So much so that part of him is concerned about this new revelation. But the other part of him, recognizes it. He may be oblivious, but he’s not necessarily stupid.

And how could he be? When he hasn’t felt this way before...and it’s such a strong feeling. If anything, he’s forced to figure it out.

He grins to himself, the sight of you burned into his memory and carved into his heart. It’s the kind of sight that he knows he’ll see behind closed eyes and dazed moments where he can’t help but let his mind wander.

It’s a sight that promises something new.

He can’t wait to tell Robin about this.

•••••

Steve Harrington Taglist:

@wigofokoye @timeladygallifrey @fairlysuitehearts @loulouloueh @bluegreyme @coltonparayyko @readinthegarden12 @hello-therree @gothackedalready @aphrodites-perfume @arielizzlewizzle @fic-cheesecake @bohemiandeakyy @nerd-domland @blueoz @laneygthememequeen @xelaalec @i-justlikewhales @elen-alambil @heykarsyn @yellowhopes @veeshthefrog @justsomeficsilike @cxddlyash @aniya21890 @billyhargrovescigarette @nugturally @daddystevee @asheseiler @enchantedcruelsummer @gwenandtheunfortunatename

[chaoxfix]

i now have a hc that sonic does have an apartment in station square but he basically never sleeps there, maybe once a month

he instead uses it as a storage shed for all of the merch people make of him

bc whats he gonna do, turn down a really cool mural the city made in his honor? no. hes gonna put that shit up in his living room. his friends call him egotistical but jokes on them, he looks cool as hell.

he also has

a freezer full of sonic popsicles. the fucked up ones. u know. (ty @sketchjii for reminding me these exist)

a fridge full of sports drinks with his face on the label. some officially sponsored, some knockoffs with 'socin the hengehog', who is a slightly lighter blue hedgehog. he thinks its hilarious

boxes upon boxes of frozen chili dogs, from every brand deal he's ever done who promised him a lifetime supply and are starting to sweat from making good on it

hoodies for humans that imitate his look (he loves the ones with fake ears and fake gloves. they look fucking hilarious on top of his own ears and gloves)

every variation of sonic plushie ever made. especially the deformed looking ones. the ugly ones are usually from knuckles. ("got you this. its like looking in a mirror right?" "hilarious.")

plushies of all his friends

a super sonic shower curtain from a then-6 year old tails to 'make him feel brave while taking a bath! :D'

giant fuzzy slippers that are meant to look like his shoes

his fridge door has drawings from charmy, cream, and some from tails when he was little(r)

hes got a bookcase with a bunch of books. some haunted. some not. a few scrapbooks mixed in, old textbooks tails read when he was a kid and was gonna toss out but has a lot of funny notes in the margins

he also has a trophy case to hold his many sonic & mario olympic games trophies

last i'll mention is he's even got a little eggman matryoshka doll that sits on his fridge. he just thinks its funny

if he ever dies young itll be a really fun museum exhibit. he gives one (1) apartment tour to some photographer who's way out of his depth but it's honestly kinda funny how nonchalant sonic is about all the merch of himself he collects