#honestly might make a video essay

[ingoodjesst]

have you put the pieces together yet, detective

[kings-highway]

Jacob Geller just released a new video essay and it looks like it's going to be a haunted one so if you catch me writing some obscurist horror OiDai fanfiction you'll know why

[pinkiepaaws]

getting over my fear of extreme horror one video essay at a time

[sweet-berrry]

Queerbaiting vs Queer coding vs Queer Representation: Does Intent Matter in the Eyes of the Law?

Alternatively

Stobotnik: An analysis

[grimbeak]

so i never got to turn in my final draft of my english essay bc of my concussion and my prof graciously offered me an incomplete and mine was about how modern "feminism" (I'm just a girl, makeup, man vs bear, etc.) isn't working and is actually sending us backwards and um. how long do you think im allowed to make it before he kills me

[camellia-thea]

away with family hence the general absence but i did somehow reread all of the hunger games because we showed my sister the film on monday. i have some feelings about it

[ghoulmore-girl]

🌙 Some praise for your Moon sign!!!

🌙

Your Moon sign isn’t a flaw.

It’s not “too much.” It’s your emotional blueprint, your internal love language, your soft little underbelly of truth. It’s the part of you that cries at weird times, that holds onto things longer than you meant to, that knows what kind of tenderness you actually need — even when you pretend you don’t.

So if no one’s told your Moon sign today: You’re doing amazing. Your feelings are real. You don’t have to earn softness. You deserve care just because you exist.

And you’re allowed to feel deeply and dramatically and inconveniently. You are not a burden for having a heart.

Aries Moon ♈

You cry like it’s a contact sport and bounce back like you’ve just had a power-up in Mario Kart. One second it’s full meltdown, the next it’s “okay anyway what are we eating?” And you know what? We respect the emotional cardio. You’re not dramatic — you’re just emotionally efficient. Why journal it when you can scream it into the void and then go live your life?

You love like a feral golden retriever: loyal, chaotic, and ready to throw hands if someone disrespects your bestie’s situationship. You don’t do “subtle.” If someone hurt your feelings, they will know. If you love someone, they’ll know immediately — probably by the way you yell at them to drink water and then offer to fight their ex.

You don’t sit with your feelings — you race them to the finish line. And yes, maybe your inner child is a tiny rage creature with glitter shoes and no chill, but that kid just wants love, juice boxes, and a little justice. Honestly? Same.

Your emotional chaos is kinetic. You are raw sincerity in a world that’s too cool to care. Never let anyone tell you to tone it down — you’re not “too much.” You’re just built for big love and big feelings. And that’s a flex.

Think Katara yelling at the Fire Nation with tears in her eyes. Think Elena Gilbert in a season 2 breakdown. Think Lady Bird jumping out of the moving car. Iconic behavior.

Taurus Moon ♉

Your emotional landscape is a warm blanket, a hot mug, and the smell of fresh bread — but also like… if someone tried to take the blanket away, they might get mildly tackled. You don’t do sudden emotional shifts. You like your feelings like you like your playlists: cozy, predictable, and full of soothing indie vocals.

You process things slowly, and that’s not a flaw — that’s just your emotional crockpot working its magic. You’re not out here panic-texting an ex or crying in the club. No. You are quietly grieving with a bowl of pasta and Pride and Prejudice (2005) playing in the background.

You feel safe in routine, in comfort, in things you can trust — which means your love is deeply consistent. If you care, you’ll care forever. You’ll remember someone’s favorite tea years after they ghosted you. You’ll still think about that one moment of peace you felt in someone’s arms and wonder if they felt it too.

You don’t express emotion loudly, but when you do? It wrecks everyone. It’s “the moon weeping over the sea” levels of poetic.

Your steadiness is holy. You are the emotional anchor in a stormy world. Just don’t forget: it’s okay to change your mind. It’s okay to not be okay sometimes. The people who deserve you will be patient. Just like you are.

Think Bella Swan staring into the forest for 3 months to a Bon Iver soundtrack. Think Marianne Dashwood fainting in the rain. Think the last 30 minutes of My Neighbor Totoro. Quiet but devastating.

Gemini Moon ♊

Your emotional life is a group project — and you are the group chat. You feel everything and want to talk about it, tweet about it, meme about it, and maybe even create a 12-part video essay on why your ex’s attachment style destroyed your inner peace (but make it ✨funny✨).

Your inner world is full of chaos, questions, and commentary. Feelings? You have 15 of them at once. All contradicting each other. You don’t feel “sad,” you feel “sad but also inspired, and also mad, and slightly flirty, and now you’ve journaled about it and ordered sushi.”

You need emotional dialogue. Processing is a collaborative sport. You feel safest when your people respond to your overthinking with “go on…” instead of “just let it go.” Because you don’t “just” let things go. You take your feelings apart like they’re IKEA furniture and then you podcast about it.

Your mind is always running, but underneath the jokes and texts and memes? Is someone who just wants to be understood without having to pick a single mood.

You are a storm of insight, comedy, and emotional intelligence in disguise. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re “too much” for needing to talk it out. You’re not too much. You’re a Gemini Moon. You’re plural on purpose.

Think Fleabag breaking the fourth wall mid-breakdown. Think Rory Gilmore spiraling over finals while making pro-con lists. Think Missy from Big Mouth writing a poem about rejection with her whole chest. Brilliant chaos.

Cancer Moon ♋

You don’t just feel your emotions — you marinate in them like a slow-cooked soup of nostalgia, love, and vague dread. You cry at commercials, song lyrics, and dogs you see through car windows. You’re not fragile — you’re emotionally hydraulic. You have tidal waves inside you, and somehow, you still care about everyone else’s hydration needs.

You feel safer when you’re wrapped in something familiar: an old sweatshirt, a text from your best friend, a playlist called gentle sadness. You remember everyone’s birthday, trauma, and favorite comfort food. And if someone’s hurt? You’re already halfway to their house with snacks and a blanket.

Your heart is like a haunted house but in a cute way — full of memories, ghosts of exes, and feelings you haven’t spoken aloud in three years. You’d adopt the entire cast of a tragic Netflix drama if you could.

You are the moon. You are the tide. You are the reason someone out there believes in unconditional love, even if you’ve never told them. Your softness is not a flaw — it’s your legacy.

Think Jane from Jane the Virgin tearing up over family dinners. Think Mitski lyrics at 2 AM. Think Marianne from Normal People silently looking out a rainy window. Full melancholic beauty, main character behavior.

Leo Moon ♌

You feel like the protagonist of a dramatic Broadway musical that only plays in your head — and honestly? Deserved. Your emotions are big, your loyalty is louder than your pride, and your love language is being seen. Like, truly seen — “tell me I’m special and that my pain is valid while you hold my hand under a spotlight” kind of seen.

You don’t just have feelings. You present them. When you cry, it’s cinematic. When you fall in love, it’s Shakespearean. You were probably that kid who pretended to be fine in public and then put on a full emotional performance in your room with your headphones in, pretending the wall was your enemy-turned-lover.

But under the glitz and performative strength? Is a tender, scared little heart that just wants to feel safe being soft. You give so much. You love so hard. You hold it together when no one else can, and then fall apart privately like a queen in exile.

You are allowed to fall apart in the spotlight and ask for applause after. Your emotional depth is worthy of attention. Don’t dim yourself just because some people can’t handle the way you shine.

Think Troy Bolton singing “Bet On It” with full choreo. Think Moira Rose saying “you’re my Mariah Carey” through tears. Think Maddy Perez crying glitter in Euphoria. Iconic. Legendary. Absolutely real.

Virgo Moon ♍

Your feelings have a spreadsheet. Your heartbreak has bullet points. Your anxiety has a color-coded Google Calendar and a backup plan. But make no mistake: beneath all that structure is an ocean of feeling you don’t always have the time or safety to show.

You care quietly but profoundly. You check on people even when you're falling apart. You write the text, then re-write it 4 times before sending. You are the friend who packs a “just in case” bag for someone else’s crisis. And you do it without expecting credit — but we see you.

You process emotions through logic, but that doesn’t make you cold. It makes you brilliantly protective. You want things to make sense, to be fixable, because you want to feel like you can help. And you can. But it’s okay if you can’t fix everything. You’re not a machine. You’re a human who just happens to be really, really good at hiding how overwhelmed you are.

You are the emotional equivalent of an emergency kit: always prepared, quietly holding space, never asking for more than someone’s wellbeing. But you deserve softness, too. You deserve the same grace you give everyone else.

Think Beth from Little Women quietly healing everyone with her presence. Think Chidi from The Good Place having a full meltdown over moral dilemmas. Think April Ludgate caring deeply while pretending she doesn’t. Deep feels in disguise.

Libra Moon ♎

You feel things in aesthetics. Heartbreak tastes like iced lavender lattes. Healing looks like your Pinterest board. You’re not indecisive, you’re just emotionally considerate — you weigh every possible feeling, ripple effect, and Taylor Swift lyric before responding to a text.

Your inner world is soft, chaotic harmony. You want peace, but not at the cost of authenticity (except, like… sometimes. Because you don’t want to ruin the vibe). You want connection that feels like an indie movie montage. You want people to like you — not out of vanity, but because when people are happy, you feel safe.

You soothe everyone else’s storms but struggle to name your own weather. You cry prettily, if you cry at all, and then apologize for “being dramatic” after a single tear. But underneath your social magic and charming deflections is a heart that just wants to be met halfway.

You are emotional grace with a backbone. You deserve people who don’t just adore your calm but also make space for your chaos. You don’t have to earn love by making everything beautiful. You are the beauty.

Think Charlotte from Sex and the City sobbing in couture. Think Lizzie McGuire whispering to herself in the mirror. Think Clueless meets emotional regulation. Delicate with depth.

Scorpio Moon ♏

Your feelings wear sunglasses and trench coats. No one knows what’s going on inside, including you. You experience emotions like deleted scenes from a psychological thriller with a romantic subplot. You don’t cry — you seethe with elegance. You feel things so deeply that even your silence carries plot twists.

You want truth, loyalty, and connection that feels like a blood pact — but also, you’re gonna need 9–12 business days before you tell anyone what you’re really feeling. You’re not “cold,” you’re emotionally encrypted. But behind that locked vault? An ocean of soul-level intensity and, frankly, terrifying tenderness.

You don’t forget anything. Especially pain. Especially who made you feel safe. You want someone to choose you so completely it feels like fate and a little danger. But you’ll also ghost someone mid-spiral to protect your heart from ever being exposed. We respect the duality.

You are sacred chaos and sacred silence. Your emotional instincts are unmatched. You’re not “too much,” you’re just emotionally multilingual in a world that barely speaks its own language. Let yourself be known. You don’t have to shapeshift to deserve love.

Think Rosa Diaz silently crying in a hoodie. Think Morticia Addams brushing tears off Gomez’s face. Think every Lana Del Rey bridge. Secret sorcery, deep devotion.

Sagittarius Moon ♐

You process your emotions by either booking a flight, making a meme, or ghosting your own thoughts. Feelings are a theory, but vibes are real. You’re the friend who sends a “this made me think of you” TikTok instead of saying “I miss you,” and that’s okay. You’re trying.

You need space to feel freely, and you hate when emotions get sticky or clingy. You want people to laugh with you through the mess — not wallow in it. But here’s the thing: your joy isn’t performative. It’s medicine. You laugh because feeling too much too fast is overwhelming, and joy is your shield and your sword.

When you do sit still long enough to feel something? It hits like a freight train. Suddenly you're watching a sunset and crying about your sixth-grade crush. You get emotionally obliterated by travel montages and good playlists. Your soul is part philosopher, part golden retriever, part "accidentally overshares but makes it charming."

You are chaotic wisdom. Your inner world is fire and honesty and wild healing. Just remember: you don’t always have to outrun the feelings. Sometimes the real freedom comes from letting them stay a while.

Think Jennifer Lawrence laughing-crying in interviews. Think Ted Lasso giving you a pep talk with tears in his eyes. Think Mamma Mia when she sings “Slipping Through My Fingers.” Full-blown emotional road trip.

Capricorn Moon ♑

You’ve felt responsible for everyone else's emotional stability since childhood. You're the person who silently absorbs the chaos while internally whispering “it’s fine, I’ll handle it.” You probably text “lol” while dissociating. You could be crying on the floor and still be like “I’m just being dramatic, don’t worry.”

But you are not cold. You are not “emotionally distant.” You are the most quietly protective, deeply devoted, surprisingly soft little stoic out here. You just want to feel safe before opening up, and safety isn’t a luxury you’ve always had.

You love like an old tree — solid, rooted, unmoving once you decide someone’s yours. You might not say “I love you” first, but you’ll remember how someone takes their tea for the next 20 years. You’re doing your best, even when your brain says it’s not enough. And honestly? Your best is incredible.

You don’t have to carry everything. You don’t need to earn rest, or affection, or softness. Let someone else hold the clipboard today. You deserve to feel held, too — not just useful.

Think Marcus from About Time, quiet but deeply romantic. Think April from Parks and Rec reluctantly loving people. Think Donna Paulsen from Suits whispering “I got this” through every heartbreak. Stone on the outside, poetry underneath.

Aquarius Moon ♒

Your feelings live in a high-security vault that even you forget the passcode to. You experience emotions like a 90s hacker movie: blinking lights, confusing metaphors, and sudden philosophical tangents about humanity. Someone says “how are you feeling?” and you respond with “what is feeling? anyway here’s a link to a documentary.”

You don’t reject emotion — you outsource it. You intellectualize, meme-ify, and turn vulnerability into an academic paper. You might send someone a YouTube video at 3 AM that perfectly explains your entire childhood trauma arc. That’s love.

But inside that galaxy-brain of yours? Is a tender, weird, wonderful heart that just wants someone who sees you and gets your niche references. Someone who understands that yes, you’re joking — but also, you're not. You just needed to say the real thing in a silly voice.

You are cosmic-level unique. You don’t need to express yourself like everyone else. You are worthy of love even when you feel like an alien in a world of overly emotional Earth signs. The people who get you? Really get you.

Think Luna Lovegood staring into space but understanding everything. Think Abed from Community explaining his emotions through Inspector Spacetime. Think Amélie being vulnerable in riddles. A beautiful weirdo with a heart of gold.

Pisces Moon ♓

You are made of dreams and guilt and 17 layers of other people’s emotions you picked up like a spiritual lint roller. You cry while watching animated animals be kind to each other. You feel personally attacked by movie soundtracks. You’ll forgive people before they’ve even apologized and then apologize to them.

You don’t “have” feelings. You are a sentient, glittering puddle of them. You fall in love with strangers who smile at their dogs. You write diary entries that turn into poetry by accident. You sometimes need to disappear just to feel like yourself again.

Your heart is huge, magical, and sometimes really tired. You want to fix everything, heal everyone, be everything to everyone — but please remember: you are allowed to be soft and selfish sometimes. You don’t always have to bleed tenderness to be lovable.

You are the ocean in a world that thinks vulnerability is weakness. Your sensitivity is sacred. You don’t need to harden to survive — just learn who’s worthy of your waves.

Think Jane Austen heroines crying in candlelight. Think Marcel the Shell with Shoes On. Think Sailor Moon sobbing but still saving the universe. Delusional in the most healing way.

[suppose-i-was-worm]

Marzipan Boy part 1

Tim shot a quick message to Tam, letting her know that he would be busy for a while, and then he shoved his headphones on and pushed the button to darken the windows of his office.

Tam thought he was taking a nap, and encouraged his daily hour of “dark time”.

Tim was NOT taking a nap, he was watching the love of his life play video games (sue him, he might doze off once or twice during the stream, but it wasn’t on purpose.)

“Good afternoon, gamers. It’s NightenGames here, and I have not had enough coffee.”

Chuckling at the semi-regular intro, Tim took a sip of his dark roast and settled back into his desk chair.

“Today we’re playing Elder Ring- My friend PharaohTuck finally finished setting up my mods.”

Tim wasn’t entirely sure what exactly the mods NightenGames used did, but apparently they were necessary for him to play. The Yeddit threads were full of speculation- from control mods meant for metahumans/aliens, to cheats to make the games easier.

Very few fans believed that one- Nighten died too many times to be cheating with his mods.

“Ooooh, what a fancy character creator! Alright, folks- who should we mock this time? I’m seeing a lot of votes for Lex Luthor in the chat, a few for Bruce Wayne- which, let me remind you, I’ve already done both Wayne and Luthor in the last month, so they’re out.”

This was why Tim had originally followed NightenGames- the streamer would pick a rich person and then pretend to be them for the entire stream, as if they were playing the game. Yeddit had checked- most of the quotes Nighten used were straight from public videos of the target.

“Tim Drake, huh? CEO of Wayne Industries? Isn’t he, like, the same age as me? I dunno, guys- like, nepo baby for suresies, but…”

Tim startled at the sound of his own name, and swooned a little at the way it rang out in Nighten’s rich baritone.

“You’re right, BarleyWater32, I have not picked on Tim Drake yet. In my defense… I have no defense. He’s hot and I’d smash. Don’t want to spoil my minuscule chances, right? Right. Anyways. Oh! Oliver Queen, I can do him. Well, not DO him, but- make me shut up.”

Blinking at his computer, Tim couldn’t help but flush at the knowledge that his internet crush thought he was “hot and would smash”.

Tim would smash too, honestly. He’d done his research. Daniel ‘Danny’ Nightengale was VERY attractive behind the virtual avatars he used.

“Let me pull up Ollie-boy’s avatar- ah ha! Can’t miss that mustache anywhere.”

The avatar finally popped up in the video- Nighten didn’t usually have one up until the chat had chosen a victim, even if he did have a standard avatar for after he was done gaming.

If he had to pick, Tim liked the avatar for Queen the best. He wore a silly pair of green sunglasses, and his matching green mustache twirled far beyond his face- the real Oliver would never, but the mockery was funny.

“Ahem. Yes. Hello. My name is Ollie Queen and I’m richer than anyone else in this city. Let’s get this bread!”

Elder Ring went well- through some chance Nighten picked an archery build for his run through, which Tim thought was quite ironic- and the stream went on for a whole hour before Nighten switched to his standard avatar.

“Okay, folks, I’m going to shut down now- and Tim Drake? If you’re watching? DM me.”

Nighten chuckled a little, like he’d made an impossible request, but Tim was vibrating in his seat, reaching for his phone to DM the streamer.

The video ended abruptly, and Tim’s autotimer on the darkened windows ran out.

Tam was standing expectantly outside of the door, smiling serenely in- but her arms were full of folders that she undoubtedly need signatures on.

With a sigh, Tim took off his headphones, dropped his cell on his desk, and waved her in. Work waited for no man.

~~~

“Danny, are you sure you don’t want me to make you an avatar for one Tim Drake?”

“Positive, Tuck.”

Tucker pouted and draped himself over the back of the couch, leaning his head into Danny’s space as he worked on his essay.

“It would give you an excuse to watch videos of your cruuuuush!”

Danny felt his face go hot, and he shoved Tucker’s face away from his ear.

“Get off, man. I have to finish this paper before midnight.”

His friend stood straight, presumably looking at the clock on the oven.

“Oof, bro.”

10:30PM wasn’t a great time to be writing an essay. Danny knew he should have done it earlier, but, well. He had to film and edit a video for his second channel. UTube wasn’t earning him money yet, but hopefully soon?

Who was he kidding? He would probably have to go back to Vlad for money soon, and he hated the thought of it.

It was hard enough to live in this ramshackle Gotham apartment with both Tucker and Sam, keep up with UTube and streaming, and get through school, without having to cater to Vlad’s whims on top of it.

Sam had only promised to help with his portion of rent for two years, and he was almost hitting that deadline. He hated taking advantage of her guilt for getting him killed in the first place, but she had insisted, even if she couldn’t sustain it for their whole college career.

Danny groaned and turned his attention back to his paper.

11:15 rolled around, and Danny finished checking his paper for mistakes before sending it in. He shut his laptop, planning to brush his teeth before crashing out on the couch.

Tucker had already gone to bed, and Sam was out on an internship trip for the week, so he didn’t have to worry too much about being disturbed after he fell asleep.

His phone chimed with a donation notification and he lazily opened the message.

Tucker came running out of his and Sam’s bedroom, wrapped in a bathrobe and wielding a Creep Stick at Danny’s resulting screech.

“TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS? FROM TIMOTHY DRAKE-WAYNE?”

[mythalism]

i feel like all of my pondering and analyzing and criticizing veilguard over the past few months has actually truly given me a better understanding of what dragon age meant to me, what about it specifically was so meaningful, and why, as a result, veilguard felt so wrong. it took a while for me to figure it out. about three full months of relentless essay writing, actually. but i think if you had asked me a few years ago what the core of my love for dragon age was, whatever answer i gave would not have truly gotten to the root of it, because i think i had to experience the disappointment of veilguard to fully understand why i love dragon age. and ive realized that core is that i loved how the previous dragon age entries demand so much of the player, and deliberately prompt introspection and critical, often political, thought.

dragon age games have historically forced the player to be self-reflective and introspective about their worldview and beliefs. solas is obviously a fantastic example, as he was deliberately written to be a reflection of the player in order to prompt them to reflect on how they treat people, how our expectations of people influence their behavior, and how people are pushed to extremes and turned into monsters or saved by love and kindness. how do people become monsters? what drives them to blow up buildings or start rebellions or destroy the world as you know it? are they right or wrong? does it even matter? how did you contribute to this? are you innocent? it puts these insane, politically and morally charged situations in your face and forces you to confront them. slavery, a refugee crisis, poverty, class disparities, racism, foreign occupation, the list goes on, and you are not given the option to look away or be a bystander. you have to ACT. you have to choose, you have to make judgements, you have to take responsibility and explore your role in this world as someone with the capacity to act upon it, to make your will a reality, to fail, to make mistakes. i honestly can't think of any other video game that does this to the same extent? nor any media at all because the act of being IN the world as one of it's people through the act of role-playing is essential to how it provokes this experience in the player. its ballsy. they deliberately try to make you uncomfortable. these games are full of liars, deceivers, betrayers. the games themselves lie to you. its character try to deceive you. did you catch it? or were you fooled? what else might you be fooled by? who else might be lying to you? in the game? in real life? and then you get to play it again knowing the end, and what the game prompts changes with your new knowledge. now it asks, do you forgive them? what makes someone worthy of forgiveness? where do you draw the line? what do you think?

i dont think i realized until recently how impactful this was for me considering how i first got into dragon age at 16 years old. i dont think i had experienced anything up to that point that would put a situation like judging a war criminal who ordered the deaths of children or another war criminal who just left me to die and orchestrated a near-coup or a traumatized terrorist who just blew up a church right in my face, and said MAKE A DECISION. and i didnt know it at the time, but looking back i can see how valuable it was for me at that age to have what was effectively an avenue of exploration and self-expression of all of these moral and political issues that i was grappling with as a young adult. i played inquisition for the first time just months before i voted in my first presidential primary. i already had a political consciousness at this point, but it was nonetheless new and vulnerable and still blossoming into something more concrete. inquisition, then, almost provided a sort of political, moral and personal sandbox for me from ages 16-20 to better help me understand myself in relation to the world. the RPG-ness allowed me to put myself into these situations - like the mage-templar war and its metaphor for mass incarceration and police brutality - while i was also simultaneously grappling with and trying to understand these issues in real life. having dragon age to help me further unpack my own beliefs and conception of these issues was undeniably impactful. it provided a space, through a narrative i enjoyed and cared about, to make choices and judgement calls and better understand who i was, and what felt right to me. it asked, "what do you think?"

veilguard lacks this. completely. and lets be clear that the previous games did not always do a perfect job. many of these depictions are messy and harmful and problematic, but they at least, by extension of their own existence in a narrative that forces you to THINK and JUDGE and DECIDE, give me the space and opportunity to judge them as messy, as problematic, as harmful. i can confidently say that i think da2 is too sympathetic to the templars as an organization because the fact that da2 presents me with so many narrative conflicts regarding the templar organization allows me to not just make in-game decisions and play as a staunch advocate for mage freedom and circle abolition, but to form opinions on the game itself by extension. i can confidently say that i believe the qunari's portrayal is islamophobic because the game has prompted me so many times; what do i think about the qunari? what do i think about the oppression of the elves? what do i think about dorian being a seemingly good person but defending the practice of slavery? who should rule orzammar; the progressive asshole or the conservative traditionalist? do i forgive loghain? do i forgive anders? do i forgive solas? this in-world critical thinking about issues in thedas leads to meta critical thinking. further questions naturally follow -> what message did the writers intend to send through anders? how can i notice the echoes of how this story came into fruition in the shadow of 9/11? what do solas's endings tell me about the writers view of retributive punishment? how is bioware's portrayal of the dalish, as inspired by indigenous north americans, reflective of deep-seated anti-indigenous canadian sentiment? why did the writers stop prompting these hard questions at all in veilguard? did they only like it when it was about characters, not when it led to critical thinking about them and the company as a whole? through these processes of in-world interrogation, i am inevitably invited to analyze the effectiveness of their narrative portrayals and the writing itself. perhaps this is why dragon age is so famous for its discourse lol.

ive said before that im not sure that veilguard could ever have been as impactful for me as the previous games, partly because when you are 16 everything is more impactful because your brain is an eager sponge, unless it did something that really resonated with me as an adult. but what it should have been, at the very least, is something that could have been as impactful and formative on a current 16 year old that sees a gif on tumblr and decides to check out the game, as inquisition was to me 10 years ago. and im sure there are teenagers and younger adults out there playing this game and loving it and loving the characters and the world and thinking its great, good fun. thats great. however it fundamentally cannot have the same profound, developmentally catalytic experience it had on me because it simply does not challenge the player. it does not prompt them to question their own beliefs and the power structures within their lives. it does not prompt them to reflect on the political narratives they may have been fed all their lives. it does not confront them with the sorts of topics that get books on banned lists in florida and force them to bear witness, to think deeper, to feel guilt or horror at the outcome of your own poorly-made decision, to make moral judgements, to make mistakes, and to live with the consequences.

i think i now understand why veilguard was so disappointing to me and ultimately would be a failure in my eyes no matter if i enjoyed the combat or the exploration or whatever other shiny coat of paint sits atop it. veilguard does not ask much of you. it does not prompt any sort of introspection or interrogation of your presently held beliefs. it does not demand anything from the player except to dodge at the right moment. this is a fundamental, core departure from what made me fall in love with dragon age in the first place. if you love dragon age because you want "fantasy escapism" and fun characters to smooch, then i am happy for you. but i would remind you that can find fantasy escapism all over the steam library - farming sims, cozy games, a witch looking for her cat in the alps, etc. what you cannot find are games that are willing and brave enough to challenge and provoke the player into a better, more thorough understanding of themselves in relation to our world and it's many, complex and daunting political and moral issues. to have lost such a thing, when media like this has become so few and far between, and during a time when we need it more than ever, is a devastating loss.

[elexuscal]

So just over a year ago, I made a resolution to myself to get better at Fitness, since I was getting older and i knew if i didn't, the Consequences would begin to manifest. One problem? Historically i have always hated working out.

i knew there were two main reasons why: 1. lingering trauma from the usual Fat/Neurodivergent Kid Mistreated In PE Class Experience 2. oh my god it's so so so boring i would rather do anything more entertaining.

So. I'm not an expert, and i'm definitely not a professional fitness instructor, BUT i have genuinely come to not just tolerate but actually enjoy exercise this past year. So if these are any problems you personally have contended with, these strategies May Help.

One: Remove Barriers

a lot of flavours of neurodivergence struggle with switching between tasks and executive function generally, especially towards something you don't find fun. So first you gotta identify any barriers keeping you from exercising, and removing or mitigating them.

For me, a hurdle i recognised is that if I could not easily access the equipment, I was unlikely to use it. honestly if i couldn't see it i would probably forget it was there. So my first order of business was making a Work Out Zone. I unrolled my yoga mat and gave it a near-permanent place in my room. my weights came out of the closet and placed on a low shelf where i could easily access them, as did my resistance band. now they were always Right there.

I also realised something I detested was the general feeling of sweaty clothes, and in particular, having to change out of them. So Gross. so i started scheduling my work outs for in the the morning after breakfast or right before my nightly showers, aka: when I am changing in and out of my PJs. I'll do my routine (mostly) naked and not have to contend with the extra steps and laundry that sweaty clothes bring.

two: secondary entertainment

like i said: i found exercise very boring. and while i've gotten better over the past year, and can find it meditative, i still prefer having something else to catch my attention.

i used to like to put on video essays. but then i realised i was so often pausing my work outs because the particular video ended, or the pace got slow, or the topic turned to something dark and depressing out of nowhere and killed the vibe, so then i had to stop to find something else--

No. You need something that will keep you in the zone, and won't knock you out of it. I didn't used to listen to music much, but this year i took advantage of a Spotify subscription my sister gifted me (😔) and started just putting on upbeat rock, hip-hop, and pop mixes. it doesn't need to be my favouirte music ever it just needs to Keep Going.

i do find the loud, rhythmic music is really good for keeping my pace up, but if music doesn't do it for you, you might find audiobooks or autoplaying favourite old tv shows/sitcoms might scratch that itch.

Three: Find Other Motivators

Or, "if you can't make your own motivation, store bought is fine"

Gameification is really good here. You might be someone who'll benefit from a pedometer or step-counter app. I have a friend who swears by the Switch Ring-Fit, and I've also heard of folks who use games like Just Dance, Zombies, Run! and Beat Saber to rely on the sweet sweet endorphins generated by hitting a high score.

(BUT: do beware the dark side of gameification, which is the risk of demotivation if you don't hit your goals. For example, after doing GREAT on exceeding my step goal for a month, I got hit with COVID. For about a week and a half I was barely moving beyond the kitchen and back. My step counts plummeted, there was no way to edit the record out, and that made it harder to get back into the groove. Be mindful relying too much on gameification!)

Even outside of literal games, there are ways to scratch this itch. I used secondary objectives as a way to encourage me to keep up with my daily walks. Walking my roommate's dog when he was working long days is an obvious one, but we don't always have a furry friend at our disposal. Then I would rely on mini-challenges like, "pick up 10 cool rocks to paint", "fill this bag with wood for the fireplace", "take 10 pretty pictures", or "get to the corner store to get more milk".

And of course, consider team sports! Many folks I've talked to feel having set training/play times with a team that relies on them crucial to keep them on track!

Four: Don't Measure Success By Weight Loss

I know. I know. Easier said than done. It does not help that like 80% of workout resources online are going to mention this. but above all else, you must resist the beast. (and while not as dicey, measuring success by visible muscle gain can fall into a similar trap).

The biggest benefits to exercise are invisible. it improves cardiovascular health, brain function, tissue regeneration, immune system function, lung capacity, energy levels, literally our whole body. no matter what external changes your body does or doesn't go through, you're still going to be benefitting from exercise, and you do not want to get demotivated chasing unrealistic/irrelevant goals.

Instead, to track your progress, focus on questions like these:

How is exercise impacting my mood? Do I feel less stressed or anxious?

Am I sleeping better?

Is my balance improving?

Is my stamina increasing?

Am I becoming more flexible?

Can I lift/carry heavier weights?

Is my breath control improving?

Over the last year, I've seen marked improvements in all of these. My joints don't hurt as much; it's easier for me to to get up and move; I don't get winded as easily; I generally feel more relaxed and cheerful. Those are all amazing outcomes, and I hope that everyone on their own fitness journey can find the same joy there as I have.

[donteverblameash]

Stucky headcanons because I might as well do every ship at this point. Multishipping is terrific.

Hcs under the cut :)

-When they first met, Steve would sit all alone in the school yard, drawing in the dirt so Bucky would sit with him and share his carrot sticks. Steve doesn't like carrot sticks, but he ate them anyways.

-The two used to get chronic scraped knees, honestly still do, so at night they take the time to compare new bruises and those that are healing. Normal dude things.

-Growing up, they didn't understand the concept of two boys being so intimate was "wrong" so they didn't understand why people would give them weird looks when they kissed each other on the cheek.

-But now that they're grown, living in the 21st century, they have decided to not give a single fuck and kiss as often as they want when they want.

-In the mornings, Steve takes morning runs, and Bucky makes breakfast because it is considered an Avengers level threat when Steven Grant Rogers is within 12 yards of a cooking apliance.

-Then Steve takes his morning shower...

-"Would you like me to join you, Mister Rogers?" Steve throws a towel at him. It means yes.

-Bucky's therapist recommended he take up a calming hobby, so he decided on knitting. So he spends hours making Steve stuff that he doesn't really need.

-Steve accepts it with a grateful smile regardless.

-Bucky is often Steve muse for drawings, sometimes more reluctantly than others.

-"Buck, stop your wiggling. You're gonna make me mess up!" "Stevie, these stupid ass jeans you put me in are itchin'!"

-Watch out because Bucky and Steve's playful banter can turn into impromptu wrestling matches real quick.

-"Just like Brooklyn 1938, huh?" "Yeah, and just like then, I plan on winning!"

-It usually ends with Bucky smashing kisses into Steve's neck until the latter is a pink and laughing mess. Steve claims he let's Bucky win. No one believes it.

-When Steve gets stressed, he braids and unbraids Bucky's hair over and over until he's calm.

-When Bucky started getting into politics and he would get home after a long day at work, Steve wouldn't usually get a hello right away, more like a: "LOOK AT THIS GODDAMN BULLSHIT!"

-It's become a common occurance for Bucky to text Steve Onion articles and not understand that they are jokes like "What the fuck" and Steve sometimes laughs at them so hard he snorts.

-Bucky till this DAY is STILL trying to teach Steve how to dance, and it is STILL not looking too hot

-He learned how to take video, so he takes time recording this poor man "dancing" and sending it in the GC they have with Sam and Joaquin

-Bucky is the type of mf to say, "Damn, that Steve guy is so hot, wish he was mine" (They've been married for 9 years)

-Steve is almost always holding one of Bucky's hands to stop him from chewing on his fingers.

-Bucky is always waking up in the middle of the night asking Steve the most random things because Steve has been around these parts.

-Steve spent a long time trying to figure out his identity and looking up the specific terms for how he felt before officially coming out.

-Bucky just always knew he liked boys. He doesn't have a lable, just love him, ragged heart and all.

-Steve could write a whole 7 paragraph essay with a thesis over text, and Bucky will still stubbornly respond with the "👍" and it's driving Steve up a wall.

-Bucky forgets that Steve is a little bit taller than him now like all the time so he instinctively goes to looks down to talk to him which prompts Steve, ever the asshole to quip "Eyes up here James Barnes." And it's driving Bucky up a wall.

RAHHH I MAY MAKE MORE ABT THESE WEIRDOS

[bloomzone]

Okay, so I just recognized some mistakes I’ve been doing lately literally just saved myself from repeating them again. And honestly, I noticed a lot of other students are making these same mistakes too. So here’s Part 2 of my “Study Mistakes I Did But Saved Myself Before It Was Too Late.” If you relate to any of these, take it as your sign to stop before it’s too late.

part 1

lesson 1 : the “failure” mindset.

Right now, I’m literally in this crazy state. Like the failure mode. It's insane , I do a million past papers, then I tell myself, “Yes, you did well today.” But I wake up the next day with the same mindset: No, girl, you need to do more. Like, what if all those questions don’t show up on the exam?Yes, stress can help it drives you sometimes. For me, it worked most of the time. That fear of failure push me to study harder. But don’t let failure control you. I really wish I could change my mindset, especially before big exams or finals.We always think, what if I fail instead of what if I succeed? So please, try not to stress too much. Even small efforts count. Stay motivated. I know discipline is important, but we’re human. Especially high school students there’s pressure from everywhere. Everyone expects something from you.So try to motivate yourself. Make your breakfast in the morning. Watch something motivational when you wake up. It will remind you why you're doing this.You’re a student. You need to succeed. But sometimes we lose that passion . So keep some backup motivation ready. Think: What if I succeed? Always and Study hard. Do everything you can so you can feel good and proud about urself later.

lesson 2 : using AI for essays.

Please, please, please stop using AI if you’re still doing it especially for essays idk about u use ai or not it's ur life idc but if u are a STUDENT hear me out If your exams are still a bit far and you’re using AI to do your homework, especially your essays, stop now.I swear, some classmates of mine used AI the whole year. Especially for French essays. I know not everyone is great at French even if it’s our mother tongue , some people treat it like a second language tooThere’s this one girl in my class she used ChatGPT for every single argumentative essay. And our teacher praised her: “Oh my god, I love your writing!” and gave her plus points. I got mad. Like… I wrote my essay 100% by hand, all real. And then the teacher accused ME of using AI? I was like Girl wtf 💀💀💀 this is 100% mine.And in the actual exam, that girl got 13/20 and i I got 19/20 and then the teacher believes me after •́⁠ ⁠ ⁠‿⁠ ⁠,⁠•̀.f you use AI all year, you’ll look so stupid in the exam. So please, even if you need help, don’t rely on AI. Just read articles, watch videos on YouTube, act like AI doesn’t exist.Read more, watch teachers online, documentary anything that helps you build real knowledge and vocabulary. You’ll get better and your essays will show it.

lesson 3 : Not organizing your notes.

This one is real. Please don’t do what I did: I lost every single note from first semester. I still don’t know where I put them.So if you’re someone who writes by hand, please always keep a folder next to you. As soon as you finish a paper, put it in the folder. Keep your folders in a place where no one touches them.The only thing that saved me I take pictures of my notes. So please, every time you write something important and feel like you might lose it take a photo. Just in case.

lesson 4 : Not sleeping early.

I’ve been doing this mistake recently, during prep week when we’re home from school. The stress is too much. Not because I can’t sleep I actually fall asleep in minutes. The problem is I don’t sleep early. I have no fixed schedule.If you study in the morning, you need to sleep early. I wake up around 5 or 6 a.m., but I sleep at midnight. That’s just 4–5 hours of sleep. And it’s not enough. I get headaches. I burn out.Today, for example, I woke up at 6 after sleeping at midnight. I had the worst headache. I made coffee but didn’t even drink it.Also, if you get headaches easily, be careful with coffee. Drink water first. Move around a bit before having it.So then I tried studying but couldn’t. I opened a YouTube video to study, but I couldn’t focus. I ended up lying down, playing the video on my phone, and falling asleep again with the teacher’s voice still playing I felt like a loser fr it made me so sad. So please, if you work best in the morning, be in bed at LEAAAST by 10 p.m.And if you’re a night owl and study until 2–3 a.m., please sleep long enough after that. Your brain needs it.Just be organize your sleep schedule. Everyone has their best time to focus just build your routine around it. The time will pass anyway, so spend it right.

stay healthy everyone 💭

@bloomzone

[slitsfordan]

DanandPhilCrafts + Fucked Up Queer Devotion + Christian Homophobia: An Essay

We’ve all been talking about the willingness of Dan and Phil to perform the ritual, we’ve all been talking about the intimacy of carving out your lover’s heart, but I have not heard anyone talk about the fucked up side of Dan and Phil’s (fictional) relationship with each other, and with Him, so here goes.

On the craft channel, Dan and Phil act overwhelmingly positive, like satanic children’s show hosts, but this is clearly a farce. We see them drop their smiles quite a few times during the crafting- most notably in Glitter Faces when Dan’s craft turns out wrong, and when Phil cuts Dan’s hand. “Don’t cry, craft” is directed towards the audience, but it seems Dan and Phil are following their own advice. Cults, after all, prey on vulnerable people. While they do seem scared of doing the ritual, and their involvement with Him, they are, however, definitely willing. In

The blood on Dan after he kills Phil is interesting; The handprint on his shirt isn’t a sign of a struggle, but rather Phil just grabbing his shirt- that’s pretty intimate, honestly. The blood on his face could’ve been caused by a bunch of things: blood splatter he wiped at? wiping at his face (eyes?) with a bloody hand? or Phil holding his face? (I like the third option) The blood on his nose might totally have been accidental, and just a thing that happened, but it could also be an allusion to the cat whiskers, in the spirit of bringing things back to the beginning and whatnot.

After the ritual is complete, there’s the obvious tarot symbolism. @freckliedan has a great post about this, but I’ve got more to add, so bear with me. Yes, Dan and Phil are framed as the lovers, but that’s not all. While the sexual deviance associated with the devil card has clear connections to queerness, it’s main association is usually unhealthy relationships and dependence. From this, and the obvious devotion displayed in the video, the craft versions of Dan and Phil are implied to be unhealthily dependent on each other, and devoted to the point of obsession. While the relationship certainly isn’t abusive, this obsession just isn’t healthy.

Furthering the unhealthy relationship idea is when Phil calls Dan “Sampson”. In the Bible or whatever (I’m not Christian sue me) Sampson topples these pillars, killing both himself and his enemies, which has a clear parallel to Dan’s stacked ingredients falling over, but the use of “folly” is interesting, and suggests a further connection. Sampson had married a prostitute, and she sold him out, basically, leading to his enslavement and later death. In this story, this is the clearest and most obvious act of folly by Sampson: marrying someone who he shouldn’t have, someone who it was taboo for him to be with. Connected to Dan and Phil, it suggests that their relationship is dangerous due to the social taboo, but it’s also implied that Phil will betray Dan. Perhaps we’ll see that in a 5th crafts installment, or perhaps it’s simply a commentary on being in a relationship with someone considered unacceptable.

Speaking of unhealthy relationships, that’s sure what they’ve got with Him! Leading up to the ritual, Dan and Phil are shown to be scared of Him, even though they call Him their friend. Dan’s head shake when Phil says “crafting has improved my life in numerous ways” is very telling. At the end, Dan’s shoulders tense at His first footstep, however, when He actually touches Dan, he doesn’t seem scared at all- forgive me for this next point, but from the way he kinda leans into the touch and tilts his head back, it seems more like he’s going for “turned on” rather than “scared”.

“Okay, cool” you say, “but what does it mean?” Well, Dan and Phil’s relationship in this series is not just about homoerotic undertones- this is an allegory for toxic queer sexual relationships. Why would they make something about toxic relationships when they’re in a healthy relationship? With the toxicity, and the power imbalances, and the satanism, Dan and Phil’s (fictional) relationship is a representation of Christian fears of queerness, and the supposed immoral/corrupting/anti-Christian effects of being in a queer relationship. The fear Dan and Phil show throughout the series is representative of internalized homophobia. They’re scared to align themselves with Him because it means accepting their own queerness. Dan shows more fear than Phil throughout the series (like after his glitter face turns out to be a pentacle) which parallels his real world internalized homophobia that he’s experienced. By holding hands with the devil (or baphomet?) standing behind them, Dan and Phil have embodied every conservative fear about queerness, but have come out on top. Through their YouTube channel, we get to do the same.

[goomyloid]

why is it that you like noelle so much? i'm a noelle fan myself but i can't figure out why i like her so much. like if someone asked me to explain what makes noelle a complex or well-written character i would not be able to explain it to them. and i'm hoping hearing someone else's thoughts on her might give me some perspective to figure out why i gravitate towards her

Hello.

um i could make a whole video essay complete with background visuals on why i like noelle so much. but i dont have that kinda time so ill give the condensed version

she simultaneously fulfills several of my favorite tropes for [female] characters. she's the nice normal girl that probably has something deeply wrong with her on the inside, but she's become incredibly good at pretending everything's okay. she's also the childhood friend, someone who knows the protagonist on an intimate level that no one can quite replicate. she Also can very much fulfill another trope i like, which is Girl who looks like she's about to freak out and kill herself any second now. i cant wait to watch her become 100x more unstable in the coming chapters

all of those are just tropes/traits that i tend to like the most, so her personality/character alone is enough to make me like her

there's various details that make her really interesting in terms of the game itself. stuff like her being ever so slightly tied to gaster and the Weird disappearance of her sister, how her affinity for game glitches might mean something for the story, her entire extra pages of characterization from the spamton sweepstakes and what THOSE entries might mean for the story... i still think she will only be a character of secondary-importance in the main route but man i do think shes important to the story as a whole in ways that other characters arent.

shes lowkey kinda me. lol. i think a lot of people see themselves in noelle for various reasons. the general kind of Nice Normal i-need-to-get-along-with-everyone passiveness, on top of being the type of girl to present normally and then have a secret "weird side." that bit especially resonated a lot with me and surely with many other highly-masking autistic people i think -- feeling the need to 'convince' everyone you're normal, and then only being able to properly relax around people who really 'know' you. also, her whole thing about being scared by scary video games and movies and stuff only to immerse herself in them enough to eventually be comforted by them is like. So weirdly specific and also literally exactly how i was as a kid which is really funny. its stuff like that that makes her feel Real and relatable

the weird route. ill be so real i dont think id be half as interested in deltarune as a whole as i am now if it werent for the weird route LMAOOOOO. which i think is fair honestly. ofc im horribly interested to see where the main story goes, and i will definitely be invested in it. but the weird route carved a weird route shaped hole into my weird route shaped brain. its too peak. the alternate take on empowering noelle is so interesting, and dont even get me started on the strain it puts on kris's and noelle's relationship, their unique relationship they dont have with anyone else. i just think its exceptionally interesting how we've gotten to see noelle from so many different angles so far, and she's only been important for one chapter.

her design lowkey rocks? like call her little white dress boring or whatever but man does it open the door for so many cute and wonderful design interpretations. and also her palette shift into cooler colors but in Opposite Directions (brown fur becomes more reddish + yellow hair becomes more greenish) looks freaking awesome. i think ive seen an incredibly wide range of noelle designs more than literally any other character in the game

i dont want to spend too wildly long on this bc ive already taken multiple days to type this out so ill stop here lol. if i think of anything else i just HAVE to include ill reblog with it or something, but these are really the main points that come to mind first

[mariacallous]

I honestly hate the constant doublethink behind how people insist that the Left "couldn't have possibly had any influence or done anything wrong because they're too small and that the liberals are just blaming them for their own failure", because that's just honestly bullshit.

A big part of this thing I've noticed is how much they're simultaneously crowing about how they're the next big thing since sliced bread, making excuses and justifications up and down and all around about how they have "the biggest groups because Bernie Sanders crowd" sort of thing (and the appropriate sea of white bread accordingly being shown) and how the libs must bow to their whims.

But ever since the election? They've just been constantly going out of their way to deny any responsibility, pretend that they're "JUST THE LIL GUYS! STOP BLAMING US YOU FILTHY LIBS!" while also still pulling out the same canards mentioned earlier (and a healthy dose of anti-jewish behavior).

Like, I'm sorry, but this just frustrates and pisses me off, because the reality of the matter is that while you MIGHT have had less influence than you think you do, it's also not the same thing as having NO influence whatsoever.

Many of these online leftist types still have MILLIONS of viewers through a combination of podcasts, youtube video essay channels, and the copius amounts of social media via Twitter, Reddit and Bluesky (and probably several other places that I'm not thinking of at the moment), and they VERY much have a lot more influence in their near constant dripfeed of propaganda against liberals while pretending to be against fascism.

And even if they AREN'T part of that group of wealthy grifters, they're still a carrier and spreader of the bullshit with every cynical self-serving apathy post they reblog, every post they make online insinuating about how much they hate the liberals and want the revolution and/or fascists to cleanse the libs and replace it with "insert utopia here that has vaguely antisemitic or overly romanticized Soviet/Maoist vibes here".

They are very much part of the fucking problem no matter how much they deny it. If a few honest souls can influence things to make things better, then that also applies in the exact opposite direction as well. It is not some impossibility for a bunch of highly ultra-individualistic faux progressive apathetic assholes pushing just enough people who saw and absorbed their self-serving bullcrap into thinking they shouldn't bother to care about democracy AT ALL.

.

[dokidokitsuna]

Daughters

…It’s been a minute since I posted any art here. At first I thought it might be because I was just getting depressed again, but tbh I’ve been happier and more creative than ever. ^^; Things are definitely different this time around…and I think it’s something that’s been building for a long time.

Recently, I started thinking about Daughters of the Pumpkin Queen again– an old webcomic that I worked on back when I was in college. And although I hate reading my old work, I made myself skim through it, and I was honestly stunned at the quality of the writing, especially in the unfinished Season 2. O_O If I can do stuff like that while school is literally eating my brains away, man…I don’t know why I’m not famous already. People really don’t appreciate genius, do they…?

Anyway, genius or not, it’s clear that I worked really hard to make it a high-quality webcomic, putting in more and more effort and polish with every new installment…while it gradually became less and less popular, like everything else I did at the time. And I think DotPQ was kind of the final straw for me, back then...

I remember getting really depressed and miserable about my art in the years that followed…I didn’t think I was depressed and miserable, but in hindsight, I was clearly in the “Anger” and “Bargaining” stages of the grieving process. ^^; I started pushing myself to do anything I could stomach to get more popular as an artist– I joined more sites, I started posting more standalone art, I branched out to new types of art; writing novels, composing music, starting speedpaint video essays near the end. I just wanted an audience again so badly, and I knew I was good at all these things, because everyone I brought my art to directly told me so. So I figured it was just a matter of finding the right niche.

Long story short, it didn’t work. ^^; I learned a ton of new artistic skills, and I definitely don’t regret that, but I never did get what I wanted– i.e. a steady stream of external validation on at least a weekly basis. What I did get was new fans of my more sporadic content, like my video essays and animation…and before that was low-key frustrating, because I really couldn’t do more than one of those a month, at best. What would I do for validation in the meantime…?

But now…I don’t really care? ^^; I don’t feel like I need validation in the meantime anymore…and at first I thought it was just laziness (or the bouts of depression) but now I’m thinking it was also just me subconsciously fighting this change in my mindset. After all, when you think of online artists, they’re usually in one of two camps: the dedicated people who chase the algorithms on a weekly/daily basis, or the legendary people who just drop a masterpiece every couple months and never say anything. And because I knew I didn’t want to be the latter; I assumed I needed to be the former, but maybe there’s middle ground.

I’m not 100% sure what it is…but I know I’ve come to be fine with just working on projects by myself for weeks or months. I don’t mind taking my time with difficult drawings anymore, or simply deciding not to post them if I don’t like them, without feeling like I wasted the effort. And I’ve relearned to make pieces I’m proud of without even wanting to post them online– initially this was because I was just afraid no one would like them as much as I expected, and it was better not to take the risk. ^^; But now it’s more like…that’s not always what they’re for. Sometimes I just want to get an idea out of my head and look at it, and that’s fine by itself.

Best of all, I can finally work on my original projects with no guilt or shame. ^^ That’s basically what I did all last month, and I had a great time. I spent hours writing every day; I made a bunch of new drawings; I even did a color study for the first time in a while. And I was the only witness…and it still feels wrong, but not as wrong as it used to. It’s kinda freeing. ‘_’

I still like to share art and talk about it with fans; it’s still the highlight of my life and one of the main reasons I feel motivated to make art. But it’s not an imperative anymore; there’s no pressure to make it happen at all costs. And I think this year, I’m going to make a conscious effort to accept that as normal. Maybe it’s just because I’ve been watching a lot of Duchess Celestia lately, but I think it’s time to review my lifestyle as an artist and lean into the parts I actually enjoy.

Now, as for this drawing: I just really loved the characters in this little series, despite all the bad memories attached to working on it. ^^ And even though Season 2 had a great storyline and part of me is tempted to finish it, I think Season 1 had a stronger concept; to the point where it’d probably be a better idea to reboot the series, if I ever went back to it.

Maybe as just a short run with 2 or 3 episodes, to play with the concept in a new way. I like the idea of re-imagining Mariska and Etelka as teenagers (which wasn’t possible in the original lore)…y’know, let them be a little more driven and opinionated, and have some more agency. DotPQ was heavily inspired by Fireball in terms of the premise; this could be a chance to borrow some more from it in terms of tone. ^^ Idk, it’s just a fun idea…I’ll probably just toy with it in the background along with everything else.