#honestly i love them so much i don't know all of their songs but the ones i do i love to death
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sainzfav · 18 hours ago
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❝︎ must be fate ❞︎ … joe burrow pt.1
left you out there standing
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summary - after a tragic loss to the ravens, joe finds himself pissed and frustrated. on the contrary, a marylander visiting her parents, getting a break from the busy new york life finds herself crossing paths with a certain quarter back
pairing - joe burrow x fem!reader
song inspo - n/a
warnings! - cursing, alcohol
word count - 1.4K
authors note - this takes place at the november 7th, 2024 game when the bengals played the ravens!
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"Fuck"
Joe said under his breath. The Bengals lost 35-34 to the Ravens.
"It's just an away game, man, we'll get them next time, trust," Alex said, coming up behind Joe.
"Alex, we were up for half the fucking game, then because we got lazy, we lost," Joe said, pissed off about the outcome of the game.
It was true; they got lazy. It started off great for the Bengals. The Ravens weren't playing well, and that was enough to get two touchdowns ahead, but the fourth quarter came, and the Bengals got lazy. Even when the Ravens threw a touchdown pass instead of wasting time, leaving the Bengals with about a minute of playtime, the Bengals still managed to lose.
"I don't want to hear any fucking excuses, we lost cause we were dumb and lazy, now get out of my face."
Joe's tone was sharp and angry. There was no "bright side" to this situation. They had the perfect opportunity to win and didn't take it.
-
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*liked by alexconsani, charlidamelio, and 1.6M+ others*
ynofficial gotta love a w
"Wow Y/n, over 1.5 mill already, you're insane"
Y/n whipped her head around.
"Maya, you're fucking joking... 1.5 million?! There's no way"
"How are you surprised? People love a good casual post, anyway, what's the plan for tonight? Are we going out, back to your parent's house? What are we doing?"
"I feel like we have to go out, right? Plus, I wanna show you the bars around Baltimore. We could do a little bar hopping night, how does that sound?"
"Oh my god, perf" Maya exclaims, going back to scrolling on her phone.
Maya and Y/n had been friends since college, and she was truly the one person who treated Y/n like a normal person.
Y/n then connected her phone to the car to play her music through.
"Play some Pitbull, I want to get hype for the bars," Maya says loudly from the backseat. Y/n chuckles and rolls her eyes while finding a good Pitbull song to put on.
-
"Joe, some of the guys and I are going out, how about you join us. I know it was a shitty game, but going to a bar or somethin' is probably better than sitting alone like a loner," Tee says, reaching to the seat in front of him, putting a hand on Joe's shoulder.
"I'll think about it"
"Well, hurry up, cause once we get back to the hotel, we're all gonna shower and get ready and shit to go out"
"Yeah, alright"
Joe was honestly not as much of a "going out" person as some of his other teammates, but going out to distract from the shit game that just happened did seem appealing.
-
The sound of the music and conversation filled Y/n's ears the second she and Maya stepped into the bar. The electric atmosphere was impossible to ignore, and a feeling of excitement flooded over Y/n.
"This is the best bar in Baltimore; the vibes are always so good, and their drinks are the best," Y/n tells Maya.
After about 45 minutes, Maya is gone, nowhere to be seen, leaving Y/n on a bar stool as she drinks the last of her vodka cranberry.
Just as Y/n is about to order another drink, she feels a presence next to her. She turns her head and notices a familiar figure.
Joe fucking Burrow?! Y/n thinks to herself. What a coincidence, holy shit.
Joe Burrow was the last person Y/n expected to see at a bar. Actually, she hadn't even thought about it once, but here she was.
He looked pretty pissed, which made sense after tonight's game. Just then, a loud voice came closer to where Y/n was sitting.
"Joe! Whatcha order?"
It was Tee Higgins, whose mood was the complete opposite of Joe's.
"I don't know, hey... Mike? What's your best drink?" Joe asks the bartender, reading the name tag.
"It's basic, but how about an Old Fashioned? Can't go wrong with that"
"Yeah, alright, I'll have that"
Joe then glances over and gives Y/n a weak smile, then looks down to notice her Ray Lewis jersey, chuckling to himself as he looks down at the bar table.
Y/n notices his face and immediately feels awkward.
"Would you like another vodka cranberry miss?" The bartender asks
"Oh, uh, yes, please, that would be great!" Y/n says, getting caught off guard by the bartender, still feeling awkward about sitting next to Joe.
Should have planned to go out and wear something other than a fucking jersey. This is so fucking awkward.
"Good night for you guys, huh?" Joe suddenly says, breaking the awkward silence between the two.
"Yeah, and rough one for you?"
"Yup. So, you from around here? Not to be weird or anything"
Y/n smirks at his comment. For a star, Quarter Back, he's a little awkward and shy.
"Sorta, I mean, I'm from Maryland, Annapolis to be specific, but I live in New York"
"Oh nice, what brought you to New York?"
"Work, I'm an actress, so everything I do is pretty much over there and on occasion, LA"
Never in a million years did I think I would be making small talk with Joe Burrow at a local bar in Baltimore, but here we are.
"Oh sick, how is that life? It seems like it would be crazy"
Y/n chuckles at his response. Being an actress is not a normal job by any means, and it's always so chaotic, but it's Y/n's passion.
"It is, but I wouldn't give it up for the world"
"That's pretty cool"
Just then a loud, drunk Maya comes over.
"Holy shit, Y/n, I met the hottest guy, and he bought me a drink, but then it turns out he has a girlfriend, well, they also just broke up because he bought me a drink, and oh my god, is that Joe Burrow?"
Joe starts laughing a little while Y/n covers her face in embarrassment. Maya was probably the most outgoing person Y/n knew. She was never afraid to speak her every thought, which sometimes led to awkwardness.
"Y/n, pretty name"
Y/n blushes at Joe's compliment, catching her completly off guard.
"Thanks," She says kindly, still partially embarrassed of Maya's story.
"Well, if you don't mind, Joe Burrow, I'm taking my best friend dancing, so kiss your goodbyes, and Y/n lets go"
"Hold on, let me get your number. I've had a shitty day on top of a shitty week, and our conversation, although short, has been nice."
Was Joe Burrow really asking for my number?
"Uh, yeah"
He then gives Y/n his phone for her to type in her number. After she adds her contact, Maya practically pulls her arm off, dragging her away from the bar, leaving her drink and Joe behind.
-
The next day, Y/n woke up to a line of texts from Maya.
Maya: Heyyyy, Y/n, so I know I said I would get an Uber back to your house, but I'm at a guy's apartment right now.
Maya: You up, Y/n? I assume you're still in bed, actually, but I'm at this guy Derek's apartment, just letting you know.
Maya: Y/n
Maya: Y/n
Maya: Y/n
Maya: Well, love you, I'll be back at your parents sometime today.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Y/n rubs her eyes, trying to wake up more and make sense of Maya.
Just then she get's another text.
Rolling her eyes, expecting Maya, she checks her texts.
Instead, it's an unnamed number.
(513)111-1111: Hey, it's Joe!
Y/n sits up immediately. Sure, she gave him her number, but she didn't expect him to actually text her.
Holy shit
Y/n: Hey! It's Y/n
Joe: Yeah, I remember haha
Joe: Also, how's your friend? I saw you leaving the bar, but she stayed with this guy, who, and I mean no disrespect, looked like a douche...
Y/n: She's fine, at least I'm pretty sure. She texted me this morning that she's at this guy Derek's house, and she seems fine. She said she'll be coming back to my parent's house sometime today. All is good, haha. Thanks for asking, though!
Joe: Okay that's good. Well I gotta do some shit for press, but I'll talk to you later, Y/n.
Y/n: Have fun! ;)
And with that, Y/n turns off her phone, all of a sudden smelling the sweet smell of bacon from downstairs.
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dreamwreaver · 3 days ago
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I completely agree, Vaggie and Charlie are really each other's antithesis and it's executed BADLY. The show doesn't do anything meaningful with their differences, if anything, it makes it starker. Their communication is terrible, they are not at all in sync with each other's needs and the only time they ever got actual development was when they separated to seek help for the battle with the exorcist, in which, they had more chemistry with their respective mentors than they ever had with each other (I honestly ship Vaggie and Carmilla a little after their spar, like come on, one time Carmilla lets her hair down, an act of vulnerability in some cultures, was with Vaggie and Vaggie also got her wings back after that fight too. Not to mention, they had a whole ass song together despite not meeting yet before the Chaggie song and has plus points for being original unlike Chaggie's song so Vamilla/Battleangel is a decent ship for me.)
Vaggie may say that she'll do anything for Charlie but she sure as hell won't let Charlie sing and have a deal with the same guy she had a deal back in episode 1. She also seems to forgot that her girlfriend is a grown-ass woman who can thrive on without her while she can't because she thinks she's worth nothing without Charlie. It's sad, really.
I'm honestly curious on what you'd discuss further on how Vaggie would have never let Charlie in but Charlie didn't think to knock, can you please share?
Ngl, while it's not an s-tier ship for me because I do adore zestmilla, battle angel is indeed an underrated pairing and tbh? At the very least Vaggie deserved to have an obsessive lesbian crush on Carmilla. I know it was allegedly planned for her to have an obsession with weapons and it got cut for time or other reasons. Whatever, more stripping of Vaggie's character and turning her into a bland nonentity so she doesn't compete for attention with literally everyone else.
As for your question; I would like to refer back to Charlie's rant at Alastor during their cannibal town date. No I will not be taking arguments on that, that's precisely what it was.
"Three years, three YEARS I've been sharing my life with her and I tell her EVERYTHING! My hopes, my dreams, my insecurities, my embarrassing habits, what fucking DEODORANT I like! And she keeps something, like THIS from ME! Why would she lie for so long? Did she think I wouldn't accept her? What about me, ME, says un-understanding?"
And if you watch her body language during this whole rant it's less emotional hurt and more... ego hurt? Like, this whole upset has gone from "the person I love and trust more than anything has been lying to me about who they are," to, "I share everything about myself with her and should have been entitled to this information."
And yeah, I get it, she was made to look incredibly stupid in front of a heavenly council right before being blasted back to Hell with an entire exorcist army aimed right at her front door. Anyone might be justifiably upset that such important info was kept from them. But as Carmilla literally says not ten minutes later, "You have a giant X over your eye and wield an angelic spear, it's not rocket science."
So Carmilla was able to take literally ONE look at Vaggie and clock her origins? Going further, depending on how you interpret Lucifer's gaze in Dad Beat Dad upon meeting Vaggie it's entirely possible HE clocked her as angelic too. And yet, the person who spends the most time around her somehow couldn't connect those dots? Charlie's optimistic but she's not dumb. She's got a naive understanding of sinners and how best to incite change but to miss something like THAT? I don't buy that Vaggie would have been able to keep that secret so easily if Charlie had been paying as much attention to her partner as any good and healthy relationship should.
But let's backtrack a bit. The notion that Vaggie's off emotionally is established all the way back in episode 3. Remember when Charlie's trying to get the others psyched about trust exercises and Vaggie shows a considerable lack of enthusiasm? What was the first thing out of Charlie's mouth after that? Is it, "hey you seem like you've got something on your mind; are you okay?"
Nope! It's a very embarrassed/annoyed, "Vaggie, we rehearsed this!"
After which she proceeds to blindside Vaggie with the news that she's the one who's going to be leading the trust unit that day. Wow, for all they rehearsed this pitch Vaggie sure seems left out of the loop on it doesn't she? When Vaggie tries to explain without explaining that she's neither qualified nor comfortable about this decision does Charlie say, "well okay then, but if you change your mind just let me know,"? Wrong again! She just says, "It's easy I'm sure you can handle this."
And again, Vaggie is both unprepared and uncomfortable and also unable to say no to Charlie so she defaults into her military training and starts speaking to them like a commanding officer would to their troops. And I don't blame her for that, we tend to fall back on emulating behavior we've seen when we don't know how to cope with something. When trust falls don't work, Charlie tries to retake control but Vaggie puts on a brave face and says she has it when she clearly doesn't. As chaotic shenanigans ensue Vaggie grows more and more desperate but somehow it isn't until she's literally chucking people off a roof that Charlie figures this has gone too far. Not to mention she's incredibly surprised that COMBAT is how Vaggie learned to trust people. Forgive me if I'm wrong but you've been her partner for three years by later admission and you DIDNT know she came from a military background?
Not to mention Vaggie spells it all out in black and white, "I took charge today and it all went sideways. I'm supposed to make your dreams a reality. I'm supposed to protect you. I'm supposed to never fail you" followed by, "If I can't help you, what's the point of me?"
Vaggie has serious issues with self worth, demonstrated here. And while I get Charlie is trying to respect boundaries to a certain point I cannot imagine that were I in her shoes I would leave my partner thinking that if they couldn't be useful they shouldn't be with me. And while to her credit Charlie does apologize, it feels a little pointless when the very next episode she's back to just ignoring what Vaggie says. Even then, that apology doesn't do much to address the real root of the issue. They work as a team? When and where is that EVER demonstrated? It's not a reassurance that Vaggie doesn't NEED to have some demonstrable use for Charlie to want to be with her. And even if it was Vaggie has already struck at the heart of their problem; she wants to be Charlie's armor AND her partner, but those positions cannot work in tandem. Because wanting to be someone's armor assumes they need protecting, and again I state, Charlie is a grown ass woman and one of the most powerful beings in all of hell. She was smart enough to avoid making a deal with Alastor in the pilot, why does Vaggie assume that Charlie NEEDS protecting? And a partner infers a level of equality that just isn't demonstrated in what we see of their relationship. There is no give and take with them supporting each other equally. It's vaggie either trying to draw blood from a stone to meet Charlie's unrealistic expectations, or Vaggie telling Charlie to alter core elements of her personality to appease her own subjects. And on the flip side; where does Charlie support Vaggie in anything resembling the way Vaggie supports Charlie?
Charlie pushed for Vaggie to come to Heaven with her because that was what SHE wanted. Even when Vaggie expressed her reluctance to go Charlie pushed and Vaggie folded even as she knew what ended up happening was a very real possibility. Why?
For all his bloodthirsty nature Alastor knows the political game way better than Vaggie does. Vaggie couldn't keep her shit together when Emily was just holding Charlie's hands and being friendly. That's not the type of partner a political figure should have, and whether she likes it or not as princess of hell Charlie's interwoven with the politics of hell. Being power hungry means Alastor has the genuine best advice for Charlie when it comes to handling bigwigs like the angels. And he's someone with an actual business interest in the hotel. Imagine someone asking him why he helps when he doesn't believe in redemption; and he tells them it's because he believes in Charlie. You don't hand someone the source of most of your power so easily if you do not have a sincere and earnest level of trust in them. And yet Al does it willingly, more than once.
I want to say that I don't hate Charlie or Vaggie. I just don't think they work well as a pairing because Vaggie gives too much and Charlie's more concerned with her people than her partner. And the lack of communication between the two of them is a real issue. Again, Vaggie might never have let Charlie in, but Charlie never thought to knock. She never thought to ask about Vaggie in any way that would suggest the sort of deep emotional love that the show so desperately wants us to believe they have.
And on some level, I think a good portion of the fandom feels it too. Seriously, run the numbers some time on just AO3; filter for the Chaggie tag, and then take out every other ship that those stories are actually about. The chaggie tag is filled with stories that are about someone else's relationship because beneath the surface there's nothing there.
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pandorasword · 2 days ago
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Chaeri as the 8th and youngest member of BTS.
CHAERI'S MASTERLIST
Check CHAERI'S LOVE LIFE'S TIMELINE to discover when this event takes place
Web article
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August, 2023
Anyone who loves and follow KPOP, which has become a global phenomenon, cannot ignore the increasingly persistent rumors about a possible breakup between Chaeri, the only female member of BTS, and Hongjoong, the leader of ATEEZ. The two, long considered one of the most iconic couples in the music industry, seem to have taken separate paths: no more sightings together, absence of interactions on social media, and now a new very personal song by Hongjoong that has raised many suspicions.
Signs of a possible crisis are not lacking. Recently, Chaeri ended her contract as the choreographer of ATEEZ, a role in which she was considered the creative mind behind many of their breathtaking choreographies. A choice that many interpret as a signal of the young artist's desire to distance herself not only professionally but also personally. Even though Chaeri explained in a recent live broadcast that the collaboration with ATEEZ was always intended to be temporary and that she now wishes to focus on new projects with girl groups, fans remain puzzled and find it hard to fully believe her. The timing of the contract's end and the alleged distancing between her and Hongjoong appears to many as too strong a signal to be ignored.
As if that were not enough, Hongjoong has released a new song that seems to be an open confession, and perhaps an implicit accusation. The lyrics of the song, titled “Why Do You Love?”, enigmatically address someone who seems to have “replaced” or “forgotten” him. With intense phrases like “You can’t be with anyone else, only me” fans are hypothesizing that the ATEEZ leader is expressing his pain over the possible end of his relationship with Chaeri.
In the most dramatic lines of the song, Hongjoong sings: “You said you couldn’t imagine yourself with anyone else but me… I hope this is just a misunderstanding.” Words that leave no doubt about the artist's suffering and confusion, as if he is struggling to accept the reality of a lost love that he perhaps believed was to last.
Fans on social media have been very active about the matter, with many wondering if there really is another love in Chaeri's life, if the song is a desperate call from Hongjoong to win her back, or if the two things are not related at all.
For now, neither of them has made any official statements. The uncertainty about the truth behind these signals is splitting the fandom: some hope for a return to the spotlight for the couple, others ardently wish that their relationship is really over.
If confirmed, the end of Chaeri and Hongjoong's relationship would leave a bitter taste in the mouths of many fans, who considered them to be THE couple of K-pop, among the first to expose themselves so much and so naturally to the public. Are these just rumors or are they really going through a difficult time? While awaiting an answer, we advise fans, for those who haven't already done so, to listen to “Why Do You Love?” by Hongjoong.
Not only could the song offer some more clues about his emotions, but it is also an incredibly well-produced track. The song has already won the hearts of many listeners for the artistic skill with which Hongjoong has voiced his (alleged) feelings.
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Twitter / X after the article:
💭 If Chaeri really started a relationship with someone else, I am sorry for Hongjoong. He doesn't deserve this
💭 Chaeri always seems too focused on herself, and now Hongjoong loses out. It's a shame
💭 Hongjoong, atinys are here to support you, whatever is going on. No one should see you like this.
💭 I hope Hongjoong is not hurting too much, honestly don't know what he found in her. I hope he finds someone who really appreciates him!
💭 I've listened to 'Why Do You Love?' a thousand times, and there are details that suggest it's really dedicated to her…
💭 Ok, maybe Hongjoong is really suffering and has dedicated an entire song to her, but am I the only one annoyed by this? I mean, it's already enough to have had their relationship thrown in our faces all this time, and now we fans are also forced to listen to music written for her?
💭 No matter what happens in his personal life, Hongjoong is an extraordinary artist and his music is always powerful.
💭 He so beautiful even without makeup and completely au naturel, if Chaeri doesn't want him I will volunteer very gladly.
💭 I don't understand all the hate for Chaeri. Being a female idol is hard enough; criticizing her for something we don't know is unfair
💭 They are human, and couples break up all the time on a daily basis. If they did, I don't understand why we should care so much about it. It's their own business
💭 Leave Chaeri alone.
💭 As a BTS fan for years, I knew that the relationship with him for Chaeri would only be a problem. He clearly never lived up to her standards and if she realized this now, all the better!!!
💭 This song makes me realize more and more that I am probably a child of divorce 🥺 Chaejoong, you were THE couple.
Last conversation on Chaeri's phone
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**I know that Hongjoong's song was released this August, but for storyline reasons, I indicated the release date as August 2023
taglist: @alixnsuperstxr | @bts-dream | @enchantingbrowneyedgirl | @ycuvi | @cosmicwintr
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btsqualityy · 2 days ago
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Y.O.U (Years Of Us), Chapter 8: "Have a nice life".
Jimin x half black/half Korean OC
Genre/Rating: 21+, established relationship, idol!AU, smut, angst, and fluff
Summary: Kamaria has a run in with Hye-ja, Jimin pops up, and Kamaria and Taemin talk business.
Warnings: masturbation
WC: 2.4K
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Song Of The Chapter: Loving Me 4 Me-Christina Aguilera
Two Years Ago
Jimin shuffled down the hallway of his house, rubbing at his eyes as he followed the sound of Kamaria's voice from where it was flowing from the kitchen. When he got to the archway that separated the kitchen from the large dining room, he smiled to himself as he watched her sing some lyrics that he had never heard before.
"Your lips, your eyes, your smile, your kiss, I must admit, it's a part of me," Kamaria sung. "You please me, complete me, filling me like a melody."
Jimin leaned against the archway, admiring how gorgeous she looked. She must've written whatever she was singing the night before because she was dancing around to it as if she already knew the melody to it, which she more than likely did. She was clad in one of his t-shirts with boy shorts on underneath and if he knew her the way he knew he did, she didn't have a bra on. Her hair, which was in braids, was piled on top of her head and she had a scarf on, which made him chuckle since he recognized it as one of his merch items from years ago.
"Your soul, your flow, your youth, your truth is simply proof we were meant to be," Kamaria continued. "But the best quality that's hooking me is that you're loving me for me."
Jimin chose to sneak up behind her then, slowly wrapping his arms around her waist and she instantly leaned into him. He loved it when she did that, it showed him how comfortable she was around him.
"That's beautiful," he murmured deeply, in lieu of a "good morning". "You write that last night?"
"After we had sex," she replied with a nod. "I couldn't sleep after because this melody got stuck in my head."
"The lyrics you were just singing, is that how I make you feel?" Jimin wondered and he hugged her tighter when she placed her hands on his forearms.
"They are," she confirmed. "You know how I feel about you."
"I don't know, I might need a reminder," he joked, making her smack her lips as she turned around to face him.
"You're everything to me," Kamaria stated honestly.
"You're everything to me too, Bubs," he whispered before kissing her passionately.
.........................................................
A few days later, Kamaria smiled as she posed for pictures , standing outside of Eclair which was the flagship store where one of her close friends, Kwon Hyeri, was celebrating the grand opening. Kamaria had been trying to stay out of the press since 'Taming' was still receiving pretty significant media attention but Hyeri had been designing clothes for Kamaria basically since her debut so she wanted to show her support.
"Kamaria, over here!" The paparazzi shouted and Kamaria instantly turned her head, her smile bright as she posed with her hands folded in front of her and her legs crossed. Unlike most celebrities, Kamaria didn't outright hate the paparazzi. Of course, they could be privacy invading jerks at their best and despicable, life ruining assholes at their worst but Kamaria did her best to really only acknowledge them at public events and so far, that had seemed to work out in her favor.
"Thank you," Kamaria said, bowing lightly to them before she walked off of the carpet and into the store, where all of the guests that had been invited to the grand opening where mingling around, talking and looking over the pieces of clothing that were for sale.
"Kam!" Hyeri shouted as she rushed up to her and Kamaria grinned widely as she hugged her friend tightly. "I'm so glad you were able to make it!"
"How could I not?" Kamaria chuckled. "I owe you so much."
"I'm the one who owes you," Hyeri shook her head. "It's thanks to the publicity from you wearing my designs that I was even able to open the store."
"Hey, your talent is the one to thank in that case," Kamaria replied. "I'm proud of you, seriously."
"Thanks," Hyeri beamed. After grabbing a glass of champagne, Kamaria milled around the store, making small talk with different idols and actors and actresses that she was familiar with.
"Well, if it isn't Choi Minali," a voice called out and Kamaria looked over to see Hye-ja smiling at her.
"Hey-ja-ssi," Kamaria smiled, albeit tightly. "How are you?"
"I'm good, how are you?" Hye-ja wondered.
"Good, good," Kamaria nodded. "Just came to support Hyeri."
"She dresses you, right?"
"For things like my music videos and tours, she'll usually make me something custom, yeah," Kamaria confirmed. "What about you?"
"Oh, I wore one of her gowns in a film of mines and I've been trying to get her on retainer ever since," Hye-ja joked, making Kamaria laugh. "I'm so glad she finally decided to have some faith in herself and open an actual store, though."
"Same here," Kamaria agreed. Suddenly, a photographer came up to them and smiled politely.
"Do you two mind taking a photo together?" He wondered.
"Of course not," Hye-ja shook her head before turning to look at Kamaria. "Ok?"
"Sure," Kamaria nodded. Hye-ja moved to stand next to her then, and they both smiled brightly as the photographer snapped the photo.
"Beautiful," he complimented. "Thank you." Hye-ja waited until the photographer walked away before she turned around and smiled at Kamaria.
"So, can I tell you something?" She wondered and Kamaria shrugged before nodding.
"Go ahead."
"Stay the fuck away from my husband," she spit and Kamaria's eyebrows instantly rose as she looked at the other woman.
"Excuse me?"
"You know, despite what my looks might have you thinking, I'm not some stupid, spoiled actress," Hye-ja stated firmly. "I know that you're the reason why Jimin hasn't been wearing his wedding ring."
"I have no idea why Jimin's not wearing his wedding ring," Kamaria scoffed. "That literally has nothing to do with me."
"Yeah, right," she rolled her eyes. "You heard what the fuck I said."
"You know, since we're sharing tidbits of information, you should probably know that I don't like being threatened," Kamaria fumed lowly. "And if you were smart, you might wanna ask your husband what exactly I do to people who threaten me."
Hye-ja either was shaken by that statement or she had the good sense to pretend that she was because the fire that had been in her eyes subsided and Kamaria could tell that it was replaced by slight apprehension.
"Have a good rest of your night," Kamaria smiled falsely before turning around and walking away.
.........................................................
Later that night, after making it back home, Kamaria had managed to take off her dress, shower and put on her pajamas before a knock sounded at her front door. Walking up to the door, she paused to check the security camera and she could instantly tell that it was Jimin, even though he had clearly tried to disguise himself by wearing a fedora and a trench coat.
"Right on time," Kamaria muttered to herself as she unlocked the door and pulled it open. "Fuck do you want, Jimin?"
"Damn, hello to you too," he chuckled.
"Oh excuse me, I'm sorry, I'm not in the best mood because I ran into your wife tonight and she fucking threatened me," Kamaria rushed out.
"Hye-ja?" Jimin chuckled. "She threatened you?"
"What reason would I have to fucking lie, Jimin?"
"Never said you were lying," he instantly replied, holding his hands up in mock surrender. "I'm just saying, it's hard to imagine Hye-ja threatening someone."
"Yeah, well she did and you better warn the little bimbo bitch to not do it again because next time, I'm going to fuck her up," Kamaria stated firmly. "And you know I will."
"Ok, ok," Jimin nodded. "I'll talk to her and I'm sorry that she did that."
"What did you even come over here for anyways?" Kamaria wondered.
"Came to get my ring," he said and Kamaria nodded tersely.
"Wait here." She walked away from the door, going into her kitchen and grabbing the ring from where it had been sitting on the counter before walking back to the front door and dropping it into Jimin's waiting hand.
"Why haven't you called me?" He wondered as he pushed the ring back onto the fourth finger on his left hand.
"There's nothing for us to talk about," Kamaria shrugged. "What happened that night was a mistake. Nothing more, nothing less."
"You sure about that?"
"More than sure," she nodded. "Just needed a distraction." Jimin's eyes widened at hearing her refer to what they shared that night as a distraction and he couldn't help the scowl that appeared on his face.
"Well, I'm sure you'll be happy to know that Hye-ja came to me and said she's finally ready to have a baby," Jimin told her, wanting to hurt her the way that she had hurt him. Admittedly, that statement did hurt Kamaria and she felt tears welling up in her eyes.
"Great, then you don’t need me. Congratulations," she spat harshly. "Have a nice life". Jimin didn't even get a chance to respond before door was slamming shut in his face that was sounded by a loud kick from the other side of the door, which made him flinch in his spot.
"God damn it," they both whispered to themselves.
.........................................................
A week later, Kamaria had done her best to just move on with her life. She was trying to focus more on writing the album and getting that done, and she was finding it surprisingly easy to write. Apparently, heartbreak's an amazing motivator. Who would've thought?
Kamaria was broken out of her thoughts by her black escalade pulling up in front of a well known restaurant in Seoul called Harbour. Once the truck pulled to a stop, she waited until her security opened the door and she hopped out, being careful of her skirt as she quickly rushed into the building.
Raising her sunglasses up from her eyes and setting them on top of her head, Kamaria glanced around the room until she locked eyes with another pair of brown ones, making her grin widely.
"Tae," she grinned, rushing over and Taemin only had enough time to stand up before she threw herself against him, hugging him tightly.
"Hello, my love," he greeted her, gently squeezing her waist and she pulled back a little bit from the hug so that she was able to look up at him.
"I'm sorry I'm late," she apologized and Taemin instantly shrugged.
"Forget it," he replied. "I haven't been waiting long. Here, sit down." He moved over to pull her chair out for her and once she was sitting, he moved back to sit down in the chair across the table from her. "How are you? Like, really?"
"I'm ok, Tae," she assured him. "I was a little depressed because of my mom but I'm coming back out of it alright."
"Good," Taemin murmured. "I know we don't talk as much but I do still worry about you."
"I know," she nodded, putting one of her hands out on the table and Taemin instantly reached his out and intertwined their fingers. "I appreciate it, honestly."
"Don't distract me," Taemin said suddenly with a smile, squeezing her hand before letting it go which made Kamaria laugh. "We came here to discuss business."
"You're right," she sighed. "So, I've been working on my newest album and I wrote a song called If I Could Tell You. While I was working on it, I was trying to envision who would sing the other part and all I could think of was you."
"Well, I have always thought our voices harmonize insanely well together," Taemin spoke up. "Would you mind if I looked at the lyrics too, maybe have some input?"
"Of course not," Kamaria shook her head. "I think that would make it more tangible, you know?"
"Believable," Taemin chuckled in understanding. "I'll do it."
"Wait, that easily?" Kamaria gasped softly.
"Well, the company is more than enthusiastic about it and people have been trying to get us to do a song together for years now so I know our fans will probably enjoy it," he explained.
"I just thought with everything you have going on right now, you might be too busy."
"When have I ever been too busy for you?" Taemin wondered and Kamaria couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face.
"Just so you know, I only want to do the song with you," she acknowledged. "Nothing else."
"Are you sure? I know you remember how good it was in that bathroom in Gangnam, and every other time," he smirked.
"You also know how good it was and still is," Kamaria shot back, making Taemin chuckle.
"Don't I know it?" He muttered wistfully. "It's the stuff my dreams are made of." The warmth that flowed over Kamaria's cheeks stayed there for the rest of their lunch together and even as they walked out of the restaurant together, she still couldn't bring herself to look him in the eye exactly.
"Should've known the dozens would descend at some point," Kamaria huffed, nodding with her head at the small group of paparazzi that had gathered outside of Harbour.
"They must've heard the prettiest songbird had decided to grace us all with her presence," Taemin complimented her and Kamaria rolled her eyes playfully.
"I'll call you soon to set up a session, ok?"
"I'll be waiting," he promised, grabbing one of her hands and giving it a gentle squeeze.
.........................................................
"Fuck," Kamaria moaned as she ran her fingers over her clit in a small circle, her other hand pinching her nipple as she pushed herself towards her peak. If Kamaria were being honest with herself, just being around Taemin always made her wet and not acting on it only further drove her crazy.
There had always been this nameless quality that Taemin had that just seemed to pull Kamaria to him. She wasn't sure if it was his unyielding sense of innocence, his cheesy jokes, his heavenly voice or even his beautiful fucking face. All she knew was that Taemin always made butterflies flutter around her stomach, and she didn't mind that at all.
"Shit," she hissed, her back arching up off the bed. "I'm gonna, gonna, fuck! Tae!" Her climax crashed down onto her at that moment, her thighs becoming slick as she slowly rubbed the last edges of her orgasm out.
"Holy fuck," she huffed as she flopped back against her pillow. "I don't how the fuck I'm gonna make it through these recording sessions."
.........................................................
Tag List: @dunixxd @namaslaylife @shabbamadapot  @canarystwin @moonstar127
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rotisseries · 11 months ago
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tired of people who want pjo movie references in the disney+ show. "logan lerman should've been-" i don’t care. "poker face in the casino-" actually i hope ms. gaga keeps her entire discography miles away from it. i don't care move on
#peace and love🫶#this isn't even to say I didn't like those parts of the movies or that I can't see the appeal in having references in the show#I'm just tired of HEARING about it oh my god#the pjo movies are getting all of the loving looking back they could need#just in the fact that people's opinions of them are clearly shifting#like people look back on them more fondly now they were VERY bad adaptations but fun movies overall with some good scenes#I think the shift in public opinion is also due to the d+ show btw I think the fact we have a good adaptation now#means people no longer feel the need to spend energy publicly and viscerally disavowing the movies anymore#but we still don't really need references to it!! especially when it's shit you're so clearly not getting I'm sorry#they're not putting logan lerman anywhere in there you know this look inside yourself#and they're DEFINITELY not putting poker face in the lotus hotel scene COME ON NOW THAT WOULD JUST BE STUPID#the lotus hotel scene is already going to undeniably get compared to the pjo movie version#and they. kind of have a lot to beat. the lotus hotel scene was so much fun#there's already going to be a bunch of “which was better?” discourse about it#using poker face would honestly probably not help. also then it's not gonna be a fun scene in it's own right#it's gonna be a fun and good scene to people just cause it references some bad movies#anyway I hope they pick a different song I saw some people say hotel room-#pjo#pjo tv#pjo disney+
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byanyan · 5 months ago
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need y'all to know that some time ago xeno brought it to my attention that jesus of suburbia is an incredibly byan-coded song and i haven't stopped thinking about it since
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sysig · 7 months ago
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I hope you blink before I do (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#DAX#Blood#Fuck you *reinjects romance into your song about love-lost*#It's the ''I want to be the one to lay you to rest'' of it all#Or if not that then at least to be the last one suffering#See him off - make sure he goes knowing that he's not alone#I'm Fine just Don't Look at me and I'll Be Fine#Schrödinger's Fine lol - I am simultaneously Fine and Not Fine until I am observed#I simply subsist largely off of angst and then whatever small scrap of comfort that can be coaxed from there hehe#I am very mean to them considering how much I want them to be happy lol#Honestly I think what would be meaner is seeing ZEX off and then somehow DAX survives alone#Night ends just as he's about to blink out and oops you're still stuck here sorry about that <3#But I wouldn't do that to them would I?#:3c#I also think it's interesting that I started doodling this before I actually read ZEX's death - I finished it after but still!#Does he just give off gutted vibes? Canonically he's eviscerated so#And not just in the eye way - in this case it's enucleation#Did you come here for eye removal surgery puns? I don't see why you'd expect anything different *b'dm tss*#I've done way more research on eye removal than I ever expected to but now those two terms will be forever seared into my mind haha#Hhh ZEX's death was very affecting to me ;; I'll talk about it more with its accompanying doodle but really 💔#I wanted an honourable death for him - and if not that then a death where he wasn't alone - and if not that then to rest#He got one of the three ;;
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kumakuma-circus · 29 days ago
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everyday i want them to remake p4 more than the last.
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stardust-moth · 13 days ago
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looking at some takes on characters or relationships or scenes in which things happen between them and just thinking,
How in the hell are people interpreting it this way??? But then i step back and realize that the story or character in question is fundamentally and extraordinarily different from the average person's life experience and I go,
ah,
you guys just... don't have a deep enough understanding of trauma responses...
#mine#vagueblogging again i guess but this applies to many things#its honestly okay that the general public doesn't grasp the deeper layers at play because tbh theyre not often explored in media#to that degree at least#ive known someone with deep. Deep. DEEP traumas#shit that no human should ever go through and sounds almost cartoonishly evil#and the truth is#healing from that is UGLY. the impact it has on how a person interacts with their life is unimaginable#and it often makes NO SENSE AT ALL to someone who hasn't experienced the same shit#it's not as simple as 'i'm sad or scared and i cry easily but if youre nice to me and love me it'll go away'#in my own experience of loving someone like that#you sometimes have to work at helping them rewrite their entire philosophies.#things you wouldnt even think of#sometimes expressing sadness or pain is the hardest part about it because they're so used to turning the other cheek to survive#sometimes theyre so used to being manipulated that they reject any kindness you offer in the most viscerally violent way#and it hurts!#communication is HARD!#receiving love is HARD!#i was listening to Raon Lee's cover of Kokoronashi#and thinking about how raw the emotions are in the lyrics#and how so many average joes out there wouldn't be able to make any sense of it but those who do get it really get it#(essentially like... 'i wish you would just get it overwith and tear me apart#bc it would hurt less than the confusion i feel at how you're kind to me and holding me and promising to never let go...#at least i know how to handle the pain of dying#this is so confusing and frightening what youre doing to me. i hate it i hate it but please... don't leave me alone')#(its such a gorgeous song)#sHIT AND THEN 2 SECONDS LATER I FIND KOHANA LAM'S COVER OF IT AND IT'S SO MUCH MOR E#for the love of god look up that song and turn on lyrics captions
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yo9urt · 3 months ago
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another compliment for y0 that i forgot to mention last night. it's a smaller/simpler thing but i really love the imagination cutaways that happen during karaoke :)
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icharchivist · 1 year ago
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hey remember when i left those tags on that post?
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i still don’t want to talk about what the work of fiction is but i legit just got reminded today that while it’s been like over 15 years that i did want to check this thing, the character that “caught my interest like 7 years ago” actually caught my interest 12 years ago. As in, there was a specific moment in time when i wanted to get into it because i learnt about the character in question.
i’ve been in hysterics for the past ten minutes because i’m realizing it’s been over a decade that once in a while i had humored starting this thing, and that while it definitely started out of another place, it’s been 12 years that steadily it was because this character was standing out to me enough that i wanted to get into it, but then forgot all about it, and now i’m out there actually getting into it after a *dream that came out of nowhere about this chara popping up while i haven’t thought of them in years* and i’m just. 
bestfriendo is making fun of me because “this is the most slowburn in all of history of fav characters” and i’m screaming into my hands, imagine considering getting into something for OVER A DECADE while constantly one character keeps standing out for you and eventually you just get a dream out of nowhere of this chara like a sudden “hey. I’ve been sending you messages about it for the past decade why the fuck are you leaving me on read” and now you’re not only forced to pay attention but also forced to realize YOU COULD HAVE STARTED ALL OF THAT OVER TEN YEARS AGO i’m feeling so unwell.
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noxtivagus · 2 years ago
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good evening i have rambled so much lately
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buttercupshands · 11 days ago
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Thinking about what happened in the summer
Kids are... Really different when it comes to spending three weeks without their parents
Some start crying near the end of first day
Some start crying after couple of days
And some don't show anything while feeling the same
And being... I think English has a good word for that, let's go with a teacher but mix it with caretaker a little bit
I think seeing a kid cry at the end of that first day finally short circuited my brain, teens are way harder to understand that pre-teens who are literally still kids
They come around after a week, settle down and find new friends and your job stays the same mostly to be the one controlling their behavior
And then you'd have a kid crying again, because they miss home and the only thing you can really do is comfort them that they're not stuck here forever and that time flows so fast they won't notice it
And maybe they didn't. Time really did flew and they were leaving
Parents visited kids sometimes, of course, and it was so scary at first but they were mostly friendly and nice
Maybe because of that group chat that let them see that their kids are fine and are having fun
In the end for kids it was painful at first, but fun in the end. I got hugged more times than I could count when they were all leaving
And then poof
Back to your own life you go, like nothing happened
#not art#irl stuff#some thoughts#Every time I tried mixing my 'usual' behavior with the one I had back in the camp it felt like adding acid into water in the wrong order#Because it didn't feel right and it felt right at the same time#Like I just suddenly got a brand new way of behavior all together and it was so different that I stopped recognizing myself#Literally I'd work all day without much of a thought head full of WHERE EVERYONE IS ARE THEY SAFE??? And then at break near night go 'huh'#And at first I tried desperately to catch the usual behavior and bring it back on the break#And it never led to anything good because I'm supposed to be fully like in daytime 24/7#I did that one sketch of silly guys to just keep at least something in my head aside from being fully aware 24/7 of every passing second#I still don't know if I miss that or not#It felt so nice to not feel like I have no goal in mind anymore#A goal of 'get to the end of this with all of the kids fine and safe' without ever swearing or making them feel threatened was... Exhaustin#I never became some super sweet person to know so I did what I knew best - talked a lot telling about the things they liked#And if a kid is curious being interesting by telling stories that they didn't know about the things they liked is a way to be liked#Most of them probably forgot about me existing there but some probably didn't and would return next year again#Honestly I don't know why I failed so many exams when becoming a teacher is the only thing that makes me truly happy now#And super tired because THAT'S WORK and it's exhausting as hell some kids love to fight and you need all your diplomacy to work with it#Maybe that's just me missing my time with siblings when they were little I didn't get much time being a good elder sibling to them#I can't associate this work with becoming a parent for a month because I'm still not so different from those kids#Like... I've literally have been told by older kids that they mistook me for a teen like them#Excuse you but I'm like 7 years older than that#It was funny tho because I was considered a bit closer to them all instead of being a big bad grown-up#Yet some kids despised me because of that in the first group because welp not being an authority figure sucks#That being my first job sucks even more because I had no idea about the unspoken rules while everyone had aside from me and mom#Second try was way better because I knew exactly what I had to do even if I was terrible at making us participate in dances and songs#Thankfully it started raining and don't you dare let kids get cold from being in the rain at night that's just ridiculous#So it was like we had a slumber party with me letting them watch GF on my laptop and read some comics#It was way better than being forced to look at the other groups winning all over again. Kids disliked losing so many times in a row#And in the end the things we planned weren't exactly enough but when they were kids were happy and I was happy because we put so much effor
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blizzardfluffykpop · 2 years ago
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Fun fact! The closest we have ever gotten to the original pitch of Scooby Doo was Mystery Inc. It was originally a dark show that showcased their friendship and their talking dog.
Look Scooby Doo as a franchise slays in part bc of how fluid it is in terms of premise and structure despite the initial concept being balls-to-the-wall 1960s niche BUT any iteration of Scooby Doo where the gang look down on/ talk down to each other bc of their respective differences just doesn’t Get It and should be expunged from canon imo… like, first of all that’s kind of the point- they all have a role to play in the group they all have their own strengths and blind spots they all bring something different to the table which is what makes them so ruthlessly efficient as a collective entity! And second, they weren’t thrown together by circumstance- they’re all very different people brought together by a shared passion, sure, but they all CHOSE to live out of a van with three other people and a bigass dog driving from town to town cross-examining the locals bc they all like each other!! They’re literally living the dream of every tight-knit teen friend group, where they all get to live together and hang out everyday with their shared weird pet doing their shared weird hobby enjoying the highs of low-stakes drama and unlimited resources. THAT is why the franchise has had such long-term staying power and that is what some of the modern iterations are missing. THAT is why Scooby Doo FUCKS- because of FRIENDSHIP and GHOSTS
#honestly i know so much of about this show it's insane#but seriously i didn't watch the last movie based on the premise that they were split up so easily#and i don't like this new show because they don't like each other- it's really not the original show#kate rambles after this#i'm like a vv big scooby doo fan- i was daphne in kindergarten and i have casual cosplays of all of them#my parents literally got me so many scooby doo things as a kid- and still try to get me those things now - and i eat it up- i love them sm#because it's my favorite show and i just wish the new creators for this show would showcase their friendship and dog#scooby is literally the premise of scooby doo-- literally his name comes from a frank sintra song-- that's how it all came about 😭#pls stop ruining my favorite show--#also if you're wondering my favorite movie i'm tied between curse of the zombie island and cyber chase#i'm a big lover of what's new scooby doo and pup named scooby doo cause i grew up with both!#kate rambles#rambles#it makes me so sad that my favorite show has been mudded about two-three times now...#so if you're out there and wanting to make a new rendition pls keep the talking dog- mysteries- and their friendship#they have vv easy personalities that you can expand on-- if you don't like those 4 simple easy ideas to build upon#make a new series it's not that hard 😭#their 4 teenagers and a talking dog living their dream and lives let them be-#expand on it any way you want and we'll like it-- but don't ruin the premise!!
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kalims · 5 months ago
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⭒ㅤwith a disney princess
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premise. surely there's been a mistake, cause there's no way someone out of place like you ended up at nrc, right? (spoiler alert: months later and they will fight whoever might drag you to rsa)
featuring. dorm leaders (from diasomnia to heartslabyul)
content. at best this might imply a female reader, given they're based of a 'princess' but I tried to take the gender vague and focused mainly on the qualities of them! mc has hair in the rapunzel part lol
note. no beta we die lol. I worked on this by group so i honestly don't remember if I accidentally gendered mc. I absolutely love idias part lmaoooo
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malleus (aurora)
ooh intimidating x soft couple.
you look way out of place in somewhere like nrc of all places, given your mother is the infamous sleeping beauty (infamous, in the college’s standards that is.) your kindness is easily taken advantage of, even if you do realize it there is always forgiveness spared for the undeserving.
said kindness was extended to the quiet malleus.
surprise no surprise. he’s impeccably drawn to the sparkling aura you seem to exclude. malleus feels as though there are traces of familiar magic always hovering around you, like its embowed into your very being. a blessing would be a better word for it.
well, he’s just curious but if he were to ever ask he’d be met with the confirmation that you were, indeed blessed by the same three fairies your mother was blessed by (minus the curse… ironically he’s quite similar to the same lady that your mother loved and looked up to.)
he’s just fascinated. something as glittery as you, shiny like gold would’ve been whisked away to his nice tower, homey. he’d tell you. almost as if making its image seem heavenly. (lowkey highkey getting your consent for kidnapping)
animals always seem to flock around you everywhere you go, they sneak around to reach you. in your dorm, during lunch, even in class. there’s either a bird on your shoulder or a squirrel making itself comfortable atop your head. its a curious sight, critters don’t really like him much.
in short they run away, humans or animals alike are both afraid of his presence it seems.
so he’s incredibly still when you nudge an adorably round bird in his palm, peering at it with cautious eyes. tense as a statue lest it flies away.
cue staring contest.
he felt incredibly accomplished that day, and immersed him in the role of making this creature like him. leaving seeds, offering it the most sought off food from the valley, literally conjuring a small home for it. everything.
HE’S SO HAPPY.
malleus often asks of you to sing, perhaps its the blessing talking but its the most unique form of sound he’d ever heard in his life, the more he sings the more he wants to imbue his very being with the loveliness of your song.
always following you around like a lost puppy (lizard?) any evil that actually wants to take advantage of your unfortunate naive desire for peace and kindness is scared away. although malleus would never want your interactions to be reduced entirely because of him, he only starts looking like a demon one he figures out their motive is less than fitting for you.
“yeah, the ingredients were to complicated for me to remember—”
“oh! perhaps i can help you?”
spots the demon behind you (just your lovely giant staring them to their grave.)
“you know what i actually got it— sorry for wasting your time.” you watch them, confused as they dip.
you look to him, as though to ask what just happened but he merely casts you an oblivious glance and shrugs.
favorite past time → coddling you in his dragon form.
he was doubtful whether he should pull through in actually showing it to you, since you were already such an angel towards him. would it be a stretch if he let a selfish desire get in the way? perhaps you’d get scared if you see how large he is there—or if he’s—
idia (rapunzel)
okay that amazed smile on you was totally worth it.
wow your hair is fire.
he should have never made a comment about it in the first place because now you’re completely confused about his reference, were you living in like… in isolation? a cave? you’re a little less worse than the scarabia’s dorm leader when it comes to being oblivious.
just two idiots miscommunicating, he atleast is trying to make an effort to explain that he doesn’t mean it literally but his wording is so bad that you get absolutely nothing from what he is trying to infer.
okay your hair though.
“why is that person stuck in that square!?”
good thing ortho was near cause you almost charged towards a television and judging by the, pan!? in your grip you definitely would have smashed the screen trying to be righteous and rescue the character.
okay then. 1. don’t let you near electronics, specifically when its playing something.
you are a literal danger to his society. shivers
you’re always asking something like “what are those glowing balls on the ceiling?” those are lights… “why is that thing speaking?!” that’s a speaker… “why is it on fire?” oh that’s his hair, he doesn’t really know either it was just like that.
it does feel a little nice to get asked like that and he’d know the answer (its literally the most common knowledge ever but whtv)
EPIC! idia is now trying to figure out how resistant your hair is. its literally like, the most OP shield there is!
at first he had some reservations. like, used a knife once and was flabbergasted when it came back in half. your hair didn’t even move an inch. then he got motivated and tried a sharper sword, longer, and larger of course. he let ortho handle it cause he probably would have stabbed himself.
“wtf.”
flinches cause the half of the sharp end came completely off and stabbed right beside his head onto the wall.
what are the limits of it?! had some doubts before using one of the tech he came up with, it could literally cut through a diamond and he isn’t sure if its entirely safe but you’re all for it cause you were always curious whether your hair could even get cut in the first place.
anyway you’re way too happy to be near a lazer that could obliterate you and its kinda infecting him. yikes.
less than happy cause the lazer literally got reflected by your hair and hit itself so it’s just gone.
on the bright side he can use you as a scapegoat (in a good way)
alright. 2. don’t enrage you unless he wants to experience getting hit by a pan really hard.
wow. he felt that for days.
maybe its the hit or he’s just feeling a little woozy whenever you’re around.
definitely the pan.
vil (mulan)
bold x shy couple
pretty x pretty defender
he’s used to people heeding his suggestions but damn, are you a stubborn one.
not only have you not listened to his propositions for becoming a more refined person (cause the way you held yourself was too.. much for him to ignore, and it bothered him for a long time until he decided to help you.) but he can respect you, he supposes. not a lot of people can stay true to themselves.
it seems like epel, the boy himself has taking a liking to you. no wonder he’s been becoming more rebellious lately.
vil would never stoop so low to purposely direct someone advice that would change their entire self, decimate their unique traits. but all he told you was out of the goodness of his heart, if you’d be less clumsy of your ways your reputation would be better for the long run.
not being respected amongst nrc is never a good thing.
still, you’re still headstrong. never too overconfident, nor cocky. just a humble soul, that’s rare so he tends to stick by you if he ever wanted an honest opinion cause people just tell him what he wants to nowadays. vil never enjoyed the biased remarks.
more often than not he enjoys making your already pretty face, prettier than it is.
finds out you’re no bark and all bite, he never even knew you could take down someone who has an advantage over you in physical terms. come on, its savanaclaw. apparently the guy had spared him an unsavory comment and (apparently, in your defense. only told him a few words, got attacked so it was self defense.)
it came a surprise to him. seeing as you’re generally relaxed in nature, your military prowess a mystery to most since you seemed content with resorting matters with peace. though you seem to lack more restraint when it comes to your close relationships.
vil scolding you in the infirmary (you don’t have a scratch, and the guy whose pride you handed back to is in some corner lamenting cause he can hear you guys.) and you just taking it.
contrary to how you first treated to each other. you seem to be more prone to his opinions, or suggestions the more you progress with each other. he admits maybe he was too outright in his manner of speaking the first time, but it only highlights the change you’d gone through with each other.
you’re the perfect doll, in a way. not in a demeaning way or anything but its so satisfying to him to use products on your face just for the sole reason that you sit so still. his absolute favorite past time is skin care together even if you mostly just follow his lead.
you and epel must be kindred spirits, once he was on his way to retire to the indoors of pomefiore. seeing as it started raining, heavy so it meant it would stay for a while. and then paused when he spotted you both sharing words.
and planting apple seeds in the rain? both of you are stained with the rain, some dirt and mud alike. and vil had never looked so mortified. so just cause you don’t protest when he cares for you doesn’t mean you’re bothered by getting dirty he guesses.
“you both… clean yourselves up, i’ll brew medicine lest you fall under the weather.” ← disappointed sigh.
kalim (jasmine)
ended up waiting for you both to finish under the covers and ushered you both to baths.
you have a tiger!
just living char x their absolute biggest stan
wow you have a tiger.
did he mention you have a tiger?
majority of nrc knows not to mess with you haha, if it’s not obvious already with the seemingly lax tiger that behaves like some sort of overgrown cat following you around and growls at someone when you aren’t looking.
then you always raise a brow at the people who tell you otherwise. “bab doesn’t bite.”
kalim is lowkey highkey their biggest fan, i mean. jamil is having the worst year of his life dragging kalim away wherever you seem to be because the first apparent instinct of the boy is to try to pet the tiger cause it’s ‘cute’.
at some point jamil had to investigate your routine throughout the day, what you do, where you go at specific times like after classes conclude to make sure kalim doesn’t cross path with you.
well, not necessarily you but rather your… tiger. which is hard, honestly. you seem to visit scarabia a lot for a reason unknown. jamil would be suspicious you’d be planning something but all you really do is stay out on the balcony with your companion.
but alas, fate would have it otherwise.
“hi,” kalim blurts before he could remember his friend’s warning. you turn, along with your… also friend who watches him closely. you blurt out a greeting back, seeing as it’s courtesy, you seem to be amused at his fascinated eyes staring at your tiger.
“want a pet?” you offer, bab making sounds of protest.
jamil almost had a heart attack seeing the two of you attached by the hip, only calming down a few weeks later. seeing as your companion wouldn’t pose as much danger as he assumed, seeing as the tiger’s protectiveness started extending to the ray of sunshine.
rich couple ig. everyone overhears your conversations and doubles over. “i had a small statue of gold made for bab, for you.” and then a; “oh, thanks. but we already have a lot at home. hmm…”
actually it’s not really the manner of being attached, more like two following you. kalim, and then your cutie pie tiger.
your reserved nature in particular greatly contrasts kalim, yapper x listener i guess. although the object of his interest was initially because of bab, he might as well be another overgrown cat of yours cause he seems to love touch.
its concerning cause bab themselves felt challenged for your affection and when they spotted kalim’s head nestled on your lap they ‘accidentally’ kick him off.
in a way you seemed untouchable, pet included. you don’t seem to mind kalim much, people might even go as far as to say you enjoy his company. occasionally the vice of his dorm as well, the three of you have this sort of aura that screams ‘don’t approach’
said aura is in the form of a very big cat.
azul (ariel)
one time you admitted to having not much friends and three heads turned towards you. face twisted incredulously.
he doesn’t know why but you looked like you went through ten stages of grief (3 more cause the 7 definitely wasn’t enough.) when you took a glance at him, during the time you were looking around, you almost went past him, actually. but then doubled back immediately.
that’s concerning.
morally suspicious (devil in disguise) x angel
azul often asks your opinions out of habit, he himself isn’t even sure when it started but he considers you a factor in decisions. though he does prefer to keep you out certain… endeavors of his away entirely, no need to concern your innocence in his doings.
as such he often uses the twins to steer you away from trouble cause you seem to have no sense for it whatsoever, whenever there’s a fight brewing instead of walking off you stride closer. curious to whatever was happening.
and, you believe too easily apparently.
jade had held you by your shoulders and directed you away from the fight before the dispute reached you and inevitably dragged you in. “why are they fighting?”
he replied. “ah, well. they inhaled an unpleasant shroom and got affected.” your mortified face spoke you believed him. human culture! you thought.
your brain should be inspected honestly. floyd told him all about the pile of stuff you had “found” in your dorm, ranging from innocent collectibles to items that brought the question of whether or not they were really yours but you didn’t really claim otherwise, just that you found em’ so no more questioning.
azul doesn’t even wanna know why you started staring at mushrooms like they were a mortal enemy of all living forms. speaking of, the three of them didn’t even consider that you could be from the sea as well. seeing as, well. you have two feet, even if they have the same.
besides the fact you’re too clumsy for your own good you sure had no fear when you leapt overboard during a field trip cause a trinket that caught your eye fell and gave the entirety of the attendants a heart attack. floyd had patted him on the back and wishes him condolences.
also the shock of the century when you emerged, pretty tail and all. holding it the trinket up like you just found it the most fascinating thing on the globe.
since then underwater dates were a thing. which took a lot of prompting honestly, you didn’t know he was a merman either, curiously asking him what kind he was. in nature, you were persistent. like a need to sate your questions so he eventually relented.
even then, it took a while before he let you see the form. ← to his fluster you seemed engrossed in this form of his. swimming around him and asking questions.
now azul also have a small pile of items hidden in a box beneath his bed, all from you. which, upon being opened would be mistaken for unused items since its literally random stuff, and a concerning favor towards forks.
oh yeah. sometimes the tweels crash your date.
you could be in his office, going about your business. chilling on his couch and playing with one of your treasures and be completely unaware of the ominous discussion ongoing within the three about anemones? contracts?
“what are you guys talking about?”
“hairstyles for azul.”
“what—”
“ooh. i can brush his hair so you can style it!” pulls out a fork.
leona (belle)
“oh my sevens, WAIT—”
i was having a crisis trying to think of a dynamic so why not just, beauty x beast.
leona is less than pleased to admit he doesn’t like you much. or atleast, he used to. it was clear his feelings of you was reciprocated, based on the uninterested side glances you cast him. your type, well liked, pristine, proper, and informed reminds him all to well of what mold he was forced into. though it never really fit.
you on the other hand, just dislike him in general. more pointedly as to how he acted, too self righteous in your opinion. he sure spends a lot of time moping about how he could have been king when he’s acting like he’d be a terrible one. you’d say it to his face but even you aren’t too crude.
if you’re both looking at the bright side though, you’d probably prefer each other’s company above others. you’re quiet, perfect for napping around. he’s surprisingly true to himself, his morals aren’t too bad either.
as such, to your disdain he now naps in the library. which you had titled your own space, but he didn’t really just care.
relatively you’re a lot more cool headed than he is, you told him concerns about his laziness which he weaved through. after opening up with each other… well you know how it goes.
okay, fine. you no longer berate leona for napping at the public space, quickly shut up when he threatened you. “i’m gonna tell you the real reason ‘m here nowadays if you don’t calm down. and it ain’t the peace i’m here for.” he eyes you, and you shut up after that.
leona doesn’t know if he should be amused or annoyed at the fact that you stand up to whatever he says. ‘that’s rude,’ this. ‘are you out of your mind?’ that. at some point where he doesn’t wanna admit, leona had disliked seeing you upset (particularly towards him) that he started listening.
at others is a different story though. he will gladly watch you shut down someone else.
sometimes he makes weird remarks, like. “throw an egg at them, who knows might hatch into a chick and give them the company they’ve been lacking.” ← just bullies random people while you defend them. “what? don’t be stupid, eggs that are sold don’t hatch into chicks.”
you often lament in his arms, regretting ever coming near his sleeping frame cause next thing you know you’re subjected to prison, and you had accidentally dropped the book you were reading so even if you try to reach for it he’s pulling you back.
will reach for it if you ask tho lol.
just one look from you has him suddenly behaved tbh.
bothers your productive time by crashing it with his opposite word of productive idk im to lazy to check. more often than not tramples over your things, but always looks dead to life when you end up scolding him heavily.
also kicks out the animals that gravitate towards you for some reason, got jealous of a bird nestled in your hair once cause apparently you paid too much attention to it.
apparently told ruggie to fetch books for you when you’re running out, at that point you might actually milk the nrc library with how fast you burn through them.
“you’re not even from here, what do—”
“actually. originally from times before, they—”
riddle (cinderella)
got lectured about history, eugh.
easy to fluster x enthusiastic and sweet
how are you so nice.
you’ve got most of the population of nrc enamored with your natural charm alone, though some do tend to mock you. unfortunately they aren’t wrong, you really do fit in more at a different school like rsa with your personality.
i mean you fit the bill, kind, pretty, talks to animals.
good for you though. cause riddle would prefer a behaved student than a troublesome one anyway so he would definitely dig you lmao.
speaking of. he definitely goes to you whenever the hedgehogs are lost in the maze, or the flamingos just don't wanna step out the farther spot from the pond, somehow they love you in whatever you do.
as in, you spoke to the hedgehogs with a lower tone. almost like a coo, and he almost tells you to stop because that's the universal worse tone to talk to hedgehogs until... it nuzzles into you?!
flabbergasted, he can only watch.
sevens... you're just so pleasant to be around he could die.
at some point it felt like you were the epitome of being kind. riddle understand that the virtue was just embedded into you, letting others berate you for whatever... he even thought you were too kind for a place like nrc where the complete opposite traits are admired.
you are, but only to those who deserve it. riddle had the pleasure to spot you nitpicking a crude student and they looked like they were gonna burst into tears.
so... you knew what to say almost always. when troubled, he'd learn that it's best to talk to you cause you'd know what to say to ease his worries, when you're treated wrongly? sevens.. you also know what to say.
but, in a putting whoever in their place way?
(idk man I'm just rambling at this point lmao idk how to write a cinderella reader.)
riddle has grown accustomed to random critters breaking in the door. well, he was used to animals in the first place. or atleast thought he was when he opened a door in the dorm and almost yelled at the sight of a group of mice looking like they were having conspiracies.
a few weeks after that he knocked on doors before opening them.
was also very disturbed when you announced they were your friends.
I don't know. I feel like he'd lowkey be the type to write your name in a heart on the back of his notebook and straighten his face like: 'what in the world am I doing' but not erasing it anyways.
over time, your little 'friends' got used to him, and vice versa. at the very least he isn't screaming at their sudden visits, be it flying through the window or just popping out of something they climbed on.
who's screaming though are his dorm members, and he's found humors in the encounters.
"ah, thank you, myrcella." he nods gingerly, toward the very tiny white mice who seems to twirl around, touched by the thanks. the little thing was nice enough to carry the pen he'd been using to scribble down the main definitions he'd been copying from the textbook.
in the middle of reaching for a glass of water the door opens, riddle watches one of his residents striding in rambling. probably about to be exposed to the sight of a group of mice sleeping on top of each other atop a cushion he'd personally placed for them.
and maybe the birds. whom seemed comfortable by his small collection of plants.
"dorm leader, octavinelle stude—GAHHHH—"
3K notes · View notes
sturnsdarling · 3 months ago
Text
I don't know how to forget you
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matt and y/n have been best friends their whole life, but after a drunken kiss and a night of tangled limbs, everything is changing.
vibe check: smut throughout (pretty equal sex dynamic, softdombutneedy!matt / subbutdeviant!reader), fluff, (resolved) angst, childhood best friends to idiots to idiots in love, y/n is scared of love (aren't we all), soft!matt, depressed!matt/reader, soppy confessions of love
this is a long one, kids: 12k words.
A/N: I LOVE THEM!! anyways this whole thing is based on one of my favourite songs of all time so if you don't know then get to know. I had so much fun writing this so I hope you love it as much as I do. IDIOTS IN LOVE SUPREMACY🗣 also tysm for over 200 followers you guys are insane
moodboards for this fic
love and cigs, merc
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You burst into the house back first, Matts hands clawing at your waist and his lips moving against yours in a clash of teeth and tongues, your arms draped over his shoulders as your hands desperately clung to his messy brown hair.
He kicked the door shut with his foot, one hand coming to your jaw to pull you into him deeper. You both clumsily walked towards his bedroom, Matt leading you backwards with closed eyes, just about missing the couch. Your hands left his hair and found the hem of his t-shirt, pulling it up over his head with vigour, breaking the kiss for a brief moment before crashing back into each other. Heavy breathing and small moans were the only sound in his house as he attempted to unbutton your shirt, not yet breaking the kiss and fumbling at the tiny circles that kept your body from him. He groaned into the kiss in frustration, biting your lip slightly before tearing your shirt open in one fowl rip. You chuckled into the kiss, Matt followed suit and your back hit the hard wood of his bedroom door, your arm frantically finding the door handle behind you.
When you finally gained entrance, still locked in an all consuming make out session with Matt, you slipped your hands between your bodies and began to untie the knot in his joggers, his whole body twitching at the sensation. Matt broke the kiss, panting, his forehead leaning on yours. 
“I thought you said we weren’t gonna do this anymore” He said through frantic breaths, his lips still brushing yours. 
“I know what I said” you muttered, finally undoing the bow that acted as the gatekeeper between your hand and his aching length, the swift insertion of your cold hand into his warm boxers acting as a mic drop to your statement as you pulled him into you once more. 
“So” Matt pulled away for a brief moment, missing the heat from your plump lips and kissing you before he spoke again, “what’re we doin” he panted. 
“Just shut up and kiss me, Matt” you shook your head, wrapping your hand round the back of his head, nearly giving him whiplash at the speed you pull his lips back to yours. 
One month earlier 
You and Matt had been seeing each other for about six months, it all started as an innocent drunken kiss at a birthday party, that same night ending with you underneath him on his satin sheets, getting pounded into at a rapid rate. You had both decided that, as two consenting adults (your exact words when you propositioned him the idea) you should start sleeping with each other on a regular basis. What was the harm right? The sex was good, you knew each other inside and out, having been friends for basically your whole lives, and you knew that no matter what happened, you’d always love each other unconditionally. 
At first it was amazing, the sex was obviously incredible and, outside of the bedroom, basically nothing changed. No one had even noticed a difference between you two, your dynamic already being touchy and somewhat flirty prior to your decision to hook up every so often.
Despite the occasional stolen glance and white knuckled night out from being forced to watch one another get hit on by random strangers at bars, it was honestly really normal, at least it felt that way.
Being with Matt was easy, he was kind and caring, being around him was like being with yourself, there was no bullshit and no expectations. You just, saw each other, truly and completely. 
As time went on, the sex became something more, it stopped being about simply acting on an urge and started being about the closeness. The intimacy of it all. You craved him, and he was addicted to you. He stopped flirting back with the girls that pushed themselves against him at bars, and you stopped entertaining the boys that bent over backwards to get your attention. Neither of you had noticed it at first but, no one was interesting anymore. No one understood you like the two of you did, no one even came close. No one could make you laugh like he did, and no one could bring him out of his own head like you could. No one knew your body like him, and vice versa, and soon enough, the sex started to change the way you saw each other. 
Instead of seeing Matt, your childhood best friend and the kid that accidentally broke your arm by landing on you at the bottom of a snowy hill when you were kids; you saw Matt, a lingering presence of safety in a crowed room and a blissful night of endless orgasms. Instead of seeing you, the fourth wheel in his little family and the girl that bullied him for being five foot nothing until he was sixteen, he saw you, a beaming ray of light in his life and the sexiest woman he’d ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on. 
The shift didn’t seem to matter, as far as you were both aware, nothing had changed. That was until one night when you were hanging out with Matt as you always did:
You and Matt were half naked, tangled up in one another on his bed, watching gravity falls for the billionth time and enjoying each others company.
You were rested against his headboard, clad in his t-shirt and your underwear, and he was rested in-between your legs, his bare back comfortably wedged between your thighs as his long, plaid pyjama pant covered legs spread over the length of his bed. Matt turned his head to the side, peppering a small kiss on the side of your leg before shifting to lift himself up off his bed, the loss of his warm pressure against you almost painful. 
“m’gonna go get a drink, baby, y’want anything?” He said, standing up and hovering next to the bed. 
You shook your head, looking up at him, “I’m good, thank you”. 
“Okay” he leant down, the weight of his arms making the bed shift under you as he placed a tender kiss on your lips, your mouths slotting together effortlessly. 
He walked out the room and the door clicked shut. In your momentary solitude, the game changing realisation infiltrated your brain.
He just called you baby, and not when you were fucking, he called you baby like, like it was your name, like it was the easiest thing to call you in that moment, like it felt right to him so he did it, or even worse, that he didn’t even think about it, like that’s who you are to him.
A sudden wave of panic came over you, the events of the last however many months flashing through your brain. The longing looks, the small jealous comments that went over your head, the lingering touches when you were with your friends, his desperation for you after being apart for any longer than a couple days. All of it started to come together in your mind as one big puzzle of ‘holy fucking shit he has feelings for me, and not just I care about you as a friend but I also wanna fuck you feelings, real feelings’. That wasn’t the scary part though, the scary part was how effortless it felt, to you. How it all just made sense with him, how it was never weird or awkward, how you felt completely safe with him, how you felt genuinely and utterly, loved by him. 
Your rapid mind was interrupted by Matt walking back into the room. 
“Chris drank all the fuckin’ soda already, kids an addict I swear to god” he said, holding a glass of lemonade.
You chuckled slightly at his remark, your eyes fixated on your fingers as you picked and pulled at the skin of your thumb. Matt fell backwards onto the bed, half his weight on your legs. The pressure suddenly made you uncomfortable and, without really thinking about it, you pulled your legs from under him and tucked them under yourself. The movement made Matt turn up to look at you, finally noticing your weird demeanour. You never pulled away from him, if anything you did the opposite, especially when you were alone. Matts brows furrowed as he turned to lay on his stomach. 
“Hey, you okay?” He asked softly, rubbing a gentle finger on your leg.
You shifted under his touch again, which worried him, a lot. He shifted and raised himself up to sit in front of you. He hooked a finger under your chin and lifted your head up. 
“What’s the matter?” He questioned, his voice thick with concern. 
You shook your head, his baring blue eyes making you feel claustrophobic in your own skin.
“m’fine” you said, attempting to look away from him. 
Your energy was jarring, and Matt was utterly confused, what the fuck had happened in the maybe twenty-seconds he had been gone and why were you suddenly acting like you didn’t even want to look at him? 
“Y/n/n, I know when you’re lying, what’s wrong?” He said, trying to find your eyes again. 
You didn’t reply, only returned to picking at your thumbs. Matt simply stared at you, unable to understand why you were suddenly a tense and anxious ball of energy. 
After what felt like an eternity, you broke the silence, your voice coming out in a choked strain. 
“I don’t think I can do this anymore, Matt” your eyes didn’t leave your skin. 
Those nine words hit matt like a bus, knocking the wind out of him as his mouth parted in a feeling he could only describe as agony. 
“Do what? As in, do this” he said, gesturing to himself and then to you. 
You finally raised your head to look at him, a deep sadness hiding behind your emotionless face. “I don’t think it's a good idea, it’s gone on for way longer than either of us expected, and—“ you huffed, “I just can’t do it anymore” you tore your gaze from him, incapable of the decency it took to look him in the eye as you tore his heart from his chest. 
“wh—“ Matt muttered, “where the fuck has this come from?” He shook his head, eyes squinting and brows scrunching together. 
You didn’t reply, only shifted in your own skin. Your aloofness was like sand paper against Matts skin, he barely recognised you. His mind raced with the endless mind boggling possibilities as to why you didn’t want to be with him anymore, but they all centred into one crippling thought. 
“Is there someone else?” He said, his voice dropping an octave. 
“No” you said immediately, the ‘there could never be anyone else’ staying tucked between your teeth as your head shot up to look at him. 
“So what is then? Did I— did I do something?” His tone faltered, coming out as almost apologetic. 
You shook your head, gnawing at the inside of your cheeks, “I just — you — I — ” you couldn’t find the words to make it make sense, because it didn’t, it didn’t make sense, but you couldn’t shake the feeling of the walls closing in around you. 
“Y/n/n” your name rolled off his tongue like honey, his head shifting on his shoulders towards you slightly, his brows still knit firmly together in confusion that looked a lot like sadness. 
“I have to go” you said, unable to look at him for a second longer in fear of bursting into tears. 
“Wait—” he said, reaching out for you as you climbed off the bed and picked up your jeans that were sprawled across the floor.  
“Matt, I have to go” you cut him off, picking up your things and hurrying out the door, not looking at him for even a split second. 
You shut the door behind you and he opened it almost immediately, following you out into his kitchen, watching as you raced down the stairs.
“Y/n” he called out your name, but your pace didn’t falter, and in a flash and a slam of his front door, you were gone. 
He stood at the top of the stairs, blinking at the closed door a head of him. 
On the sofa, Chris and Nick were staring at him, waiting for him to say something and sharing flitting glances back and forth with one another. 
“What the fuck was that about?” Chris said, breaking the deafening silence. 
“Is she okay?” Nick followed his brothers questioning. 
“I have no idea” Matt said, that simple fact being the only thing he did know. 
You threw yourself into your car, slamming the door shut. The sound rang through your ears and the silence that filled the vehicle after was enough to send you tumbling into your sadness. Tears brimmed at your eyes as heavy, fast pants rapidly escaped your nose, you felt awful, you had no idea what you were doing, why did you leave like that? Why didn’t you just talk to him, he’s your best friend, why didn’t you just say something? Anything? What would you even say? I think you’re in love with me and I’m terrified that I love you too? Being with you like this has been the best six months of my life? the thought of losing you makes me feel like I'm dying? Any attempt to try and put how you felt into words made you spiral, and after a pent up moment of burning holes into the black leather of your steering wheel, the flood gates opened. 
“Fuck!” you screamed, tears cascading down your face and you hit the wheel with the palm of your hands over and over again.
You felt like you couldn’t breathe, like you were drowning in your own mind and had no way of coming to the surface. Your relentless mind was exhausting, and when your hands started to sting from your merciless slaps against the brittle leather, you clutched the wheel, resting your forehead against the material with closed eyes.
“What the fuck is wrong with me” you whispered to yourself, shaking your head against the wheel. 
You pulled one hand off the wheel and turned the key in the exhaust, starting the car as you lifted your head, taking a deep, calming inhale.
You gripped the wheel once more, turning your head and looking to Matts house, all you wanted was to go back inside, tell him that you’re scared, absolutely fucking terrified of how you feel about him, but you didn't, instead, you clenched your jaw, ripped your gaze from the house and pulled out into the street. 
On your drive home through the nearly empty LA highways, your mind raced with the events of the last six months, the orange streetlights periodically illuminating your car. Your playlist blared through the speakers on full volume as your unsuccessful attempt to drown out the sound of your own thoughts was brought to fruition, ‘sex’ by eden started to play, the drums and claps filling your senses as the piano melody took your mind to the last six months. 
The longing looks;
You were wrapped in a fluffy towel, your wet hair cascading down your shoulders as you lazily rubbed moisturiser over your clean face in Matts bathroom mirror. The door clicked open, and Matt softly padded into the damp steamy room, cold air following him in. His presence didn’t disturb you, you continued to do your skincare routine as he came up behind you, resting his chin on your shoulder and sneaking his long tattooed arms around your waist. Neither of you said anything, you didn’t even look at him. In that moment, his presence was simply an extension of your existence.
As you softly massaged a hydrating serum into your soft skin, Matt couldn’t help but stare at you in the reflection. He loved you like this, your most pure and natural self, skin still littered with drops of water from the shower and your hair forming loose curls as it dried messily over your shoulders.
He watched you intently from his perched position just beside the curve of your neck. He thought you were the most beautiful person he’d ever seen, and he could never get tired of looking at you. His gaze was heavy on your face, and once you’d finished applying all of your products, you let your eyes flit to his in the mirror, finally locking eyes with him. His mouth instantly curling up into a smile when you shot him a small grin. 
“You’re so beautiful” he said, his eye contact never wavering. 
Your smile grew and you dropped your head slightly, shaking it with an embarrassed chuckle. 
Matt squeezed you tighter to gain your attention again, missing the piercing warmth your eyes gave him. He picked his head up slightly and began to pepper short pecks on your damp, vanilla scented skin. The pecks slowly turned to small open mouth kisses, the warmth of his tongue against your skin sending shivers up your spine and encouraging a pool of wetness to collect between your legs. You let your head hang to the side slightly as he moved his kisses up your neck, stopping as he reached just below your ear. You whined as he pulled away and he laughed slightly, moving his hands to your waist and turning you round to face him.
The base of your spine was pressed against the marble counter top and Matt stared down into you, his hands absentmindedly rubbing circles against the towel that covered you. He effortlessly lifted you up and placed you on the sink, his hands finding your jaw once you landed the short jump. 
“I mean it, y’know, I think you might be the prettiest girl in the entire universe” his thumbs pressing into your cheeks as his slender fingers wrapped around the nape of your neck. 
His eyes were baring into yours, flitting between the left and right as an uncontrollable smile engulfed your face as you batted your lashes at him, returning his stare with doe eyes that almost made his knees buckle. 
“That’s a pretty damning statement, Matthew, I’m not sure I can live up to that title” You quipped, wrapping your legs around his waist to pull him against you, aching for friction as you throbbed at his words. 
“There’s no question about it, pretty girl, no one even comes close” he said, pushing his jogger clad, growing bulge against your desperate core and pulling your impossibly close to him. 
“Let me show you how beautiful you are” he said, just before pulling you into a wet and tender kiss.
You moaned against his lips as Matt ground his hips into yours, his fingers digging into the nape of your neck. He moved his kisses down your jaw, his tongue flat against the bone as he worked his way down your neck and along the top of the white towel that separated his mouth from his favourite part of you. A soft hand came up to the fold in the fabric and tugged at it, causing it to drop from your body and fall onto the cold marble beneath you. The sudden exposure made all the tiny hairs on your body stand on edge as Matt ogled your body, taking you in like it was the first time he was seeing you bare like that, not the hundredth.
"you're so fuckin' sexy" he uttered, shaking his head in disbelief at the sight of your still slightly wet skin glistening for him.
You rested back on the palms of your hands and spread your legs wider for him, giving him a full view of your pretty pussy that was already slick to the touch. A hungry grunt left his throat at the sight of you baring yourself to him, and without hesitation, Matt dropped to his knees and hooked your legs over his shoulders, pressing bruises into the soft, squishy skin.
You squealed slightly as he tugged at your thighs, bringing your throbbing core only centimetres away from his face. He licked his lips like an animal spotting its prey and leaned forward, pressing a soft and sloppy kiss onto your clit. your back arched into the pressure of his tongue against you as he started lapping at your soaked core, moaning at the taste of you on his lips. Your fingers raked through his hair and tugged at the root, pushing him further into you as your hips involuntarily bucked into his face, grinding against his mouth as he worked his tongue over your weeping pussy.
His hand snaked its way down your leg, his blunt fingernails scratching down your skin as he brought his digits to to just below his chin, rubbing small circles at your entrance with the tip of his long finger, teasing your walls as they clenched around nothing, desperate for him to give you what he knows you want.
"mhph, Matt, please" you whined with furrowed brows, hips slowly grinding against his face.
Matt looked up at you with smiling, prideful eyes, dipping his middle finger into your soaked hole just enough to elicit a broken moan from your throat. As your walls loosened their grip around his finger, he slipped his ring finger inside, pushing them both in to the knuckle as he sucked on your clit, eyes still baring up into you as your head hung loose on your neck.
He pumped his fingers in and out of you at a steady pace, but his pace on your clit was fierce, as if he was attempting to suck the air from your lungs out from of your pussy.
Your high was fast approaching, and your whole body began to tense above him, your legs unintentionally closing shut around his head. Matt didn't care, he wanted you to close him in, keep him there for the rest of time so he could make you cum all over his face over and over again until you felt as if you could pass out from exhaustion.
His fingers began to curl up into that blissful sweet spot, your stomach tensed in response and he knew you were close to coming undone. He slurped and lapped at your folds, his tongue dipping between them to catch the very centre of your clit, toying with the nub as he relentlessly filled your walls with his long fingers.
"Oh, fuck, Matt" the pressure of his tongue against you was euphoric, and a wave of tingles covered every inch of your body.
Your walls were a vice around his fingers and, with a tantalising suck on your sensitive nub, you released warm cum all over his hand. You shook above him, your vision going blurry as he continued to devour you, bringing you to a white hot level of ecstasy that left you a blubbering, whimpering mess on the bathroom counter.
When your legs stopped tensing and hung lazily over his shoulders, Matt pulled his fingers from you, licking them clean just before placing a soft peck on your puffy clit. The feeling made you jolt and he chuckled, his warm breath acting as a soothing wind to your sensitive pussy.
Matt got to his feet, his hands instantly gripping at your thighs to wrap you around him once again. He kissed you like he was a man eating his last meal, the taste of yourself still heavy on his tongue as it pressed and pushed against yours.
"taste that, pretty girl? you're beautiful even down to the sweetness of your perfect pussy" He pulled away from you, to say just before biting down on your parted bottom lip
The small, jealous comments that went over your head;
You, the boys and a few of your mutual friends were in a bar somewhere in downtown LA. Your hands were pressed against the wood of the bar as you waited to be served, the crowds of people surrounding you making you somewhat invisible to the bartender who, famously served all the influencers first and annoyingly ignored anyone who didn’t have a brand deal or over a million followers. 
“Hey gorgeous” an unfamiliar voice disturbed your failed attempt to order a round for your table. 
You looked to the side, and were met with the glaring stare and bitten lip of yet another guy who wanted to buy you a drink and disappoint you sexually. 
“Hi” you said, turning your attention away from him just as fast as he caught it.��
“Can I just say, you’re the hottest chick in this whole bar” he rested a sweaty hand on your shoulder. 
You shrugged off his touch and looked back to him, “thanks” you said quickly, instantly skeeved out by the feeling of his hand on your skin. 
“Let me buy you a drink” he said in what seemed like his attempt at a seductive tone, bringing his hand back up to you and pushing your hair off your shoulder, letting it fall down your back. 
“I’m good, dude, I’m just trying to get a round for me and my friends” you shifted away from him. 
He edged closer to you, running his fingers down your arm and grasping at your hand, 
“I can get the round, I’ve got money like that, baby” 
The name made you feel physically sick, and before you could open your mouth to tell him to kindly fuck off, the comforting sound of Matts voice rang through your ears. 
“You good, y/n/n?” He said, coming up next to you and wrapping a tight hand around your waist, pulling you into him, his eyes never leaving the meathead trying to touch his girl.
“Who the fuck are you?” The guy said, instantly squaring up to Matt. 
“S’not important, dude, jus’ leave her alone, yeah?” He said, shifting slightly towards the guy, his hand never leaving your waist. 
“What are you, her boyfriend or something?” He laughed, pressing firm fingers into Matts shoulder. 
Matt chucked at the attempt to rile him up, pulling his arm from your waist and planting himself directly in front of the dickhead that just pushed his shoulder. 
Your hand pressed against his chest, bringing him back down to reality as he looked down into your soft, sparkle covered eyes. 
“Don’t” you said, applying a warm pressure to his sternum. 
His jaw clenched as his heart rate slowed, the feeling of your hand against his chest a soothing balm to the burning rage that had ignited in him. 
“Fuck off, dude, m’not interested in whatever you think you’re gonna get out of this” you said, pushing Matt behind you and giving the creep the dirtiest look you could muster up. 
He scoffed and rolled his eyes, “whatever, bitch, you’re ugly as fuck anyway” he said as he sulked away. 
“Oh, I’m gonna break his fuckin’ jaw” Matt said, attempting to slip out from behind you and follow the guy through the bar. 
“Matt” you said, grabbing his hand, “leave it” you said, pulling him back to you, catching his eye-line, “I’m fine, okay? He’s irrelevant”. 
He stood a few feet away from you with a clenched jaw, his hand still in yours as you glared at him. He rolled his eyes and returned to your side. 
“Kids just asking to get his shit rocked” he huffed, resting a protective hand on the base of your spine. 
“I'm sure someone will knock him out at some point” you said, a smirk forming on your face as you returned your attention to the bar tender. 
“I could have blinded him just for talking to you” he muttered, watching as the same guy sauntered over to other helpless victim. 
“Fuckin’ idiot thinks he has a chance in hell, tryna hold your hand and shit” he scoffed, “dickhead” Matt spat, finally tearing his eyes off the guy. 
You peered up at Matt and he met your gaze, a soft smile forming on his lips at the sight of you. You chuckled and shook your head, and just as you were about to tell him how sexy he is when he’s angry, you were interrupted by the bartender. 
“What can I get for you?”
The lingering touches when you were with your friends;
You were all hanging out at the boys’ house, watching films and talking about nothing, and everything. You were perched on the sofa, both of your legs tucked under yourself as you lazily scrolled on your phone. Matt was next to you, his legs in a wide man-spread as his back rested against the plush sofa cushions. His arm was rested against the back of the couch behind you, a comfortable warmth engulfing you just enough to not rouse any suspicion. 
His fingers absentmindedly traced he curve of your bare shoulder as he joked with Nate and Chris, all three of them laughing about something you weren’t listening to. 
“Y/n/n” Nick said from the kitchen, bringing your attention away from your phone, “can you come help me with this, I’m so fucking confused” he said, holding a cookie ingredient box in his hands, reading the back with furrowed brows. 
You looked over Matts shoulder towards the kitchen and let out a short chuckle, “Yeah, sure”. You shifted, and placed your feet on the floor, using Matts leg to help you up from your comfortable position on the sofa. 
The pressure of your hand against his leg went straight to his crotch, and as if on instinct, his hand met yours on his thigh for a moment as you pushed yourself up. You turned to look down at him over your shoulder as your hand slipped from under his, he looked at you like you were the only person in the room and you returned the favour, padding away from him and facing your attention towards Nick, who was standing, baffled in the kitchen over the instructions that ‘made no fucking sense’. 
His desperation for you after being apart for any longer than a couple days;
“Fuck, angel, I missed your pussy so fuckin’ much” Matt grunted into your neck as he pounded into you, slow and hard, sucking on the curve of your jaw and occasionally biting down on your soft skin. 
Your moaned at his words, legs wrapped tight around him with your feet locked at his waist, your hands clawed at his back as he stretched you out, the sensation of him relentlessly hammering into you completely overwhelming your senses. The weight of his body against yours was blissful, his warm skin pressed against yours as you kissed and sucked at his shoulder, desperate to feel every part of him against every part of you. His hands were pressing bruises into every inch of your skin, the feeling of you clenching around him sending him into ecstasy as he thrust in and out of your sopping pussy. 
“Y’so fuckin’ perfect, literally perfect, this pussy was made f’me, made jus’ f’me” he was rambling, desperate to let you know how much he had missed you. 
“Mphm, Matt, don’t stop, please, don’t stop” you whined as he hit that gummy spot deep inside you, his dick nestling perfectly inside your slick walls. 
“Keep saying my name like that, please baby, say it again f'me” He said, craning his neck up to look down at you, his eyes fluttery at the heavenly feeling of being completely surrounded by you. 
“Matt” you moaned, throwing your head back as he thrust deeper inside of you, the soft pressure of the top of his pelvis periodically pressing against your puffy clit. 
Matt groaned, dipping his head down to capture your neck in a tingling bite, just before soothing the sting with a warm and flat tongue. 
“Ugh, Matt” you whimpered, squeezing your legs tighter round him, your hands finding his sweaty curls. 
Matt near enough growled into your skin, picking up his pace as he hungrily fucked you with unwavering force into his bed. The sting of your fingers pulling his hair, coupled with the pulsating heat of your throbbing pussy sent him over the edge. With a loud grunt and stuttering hips, he came harder than he had in weeks, his vision going blurry as he nestled himself further into the crook of your neck, biting down on the fleshy meat of your shoulder. He slowed his pace completely, slowly fucking his cum into you until he felt paralysed by your warmth. 
“Jesus Christ” he uttered into your hair. 
You peppered kisses along his broad shoulder and up his neck, biting at his earlobe, earning an involuntary buck of his hips into your cum soaked hole. He begrudgingly pulled out of you, his soft dick hanging down between his legs as he fell down on top of you, his crushing body weight making you sink into the mattress. Your hands played with his hair as he caught his breath, head rested on your bare chest and hands rubbing at your boiling skin. 
“Take it you missed me then?” You muttered, enamoured with his tired and fucked out frame lazily pressed against you. 
He simply nodded against your skin, bringing a large hand up to palm the curve of your breast. “S’much” he said, just before taking your nipple into his mouth and sucking on it with vigour. 
You giggled at the sensation, shifting under him slightly as he pressed his already hardening dick against your thigh.
“Matt” You laughed, squirming under his touch. 
In one swift movement, he flipped you both over so that you were ontop of him, your wet pussy pressed against the base of his sticky cock. 
“Need more, princess, now, please” Matt said, a spread hand coming up your spine and he brought you down to him. His hand gripped the back of your neck as he kissed you like he was starved of your touch.
“m’never gonna get enough a’you” He moaned into the kiss, the feeling of your folds brushing up and down his stiff cock sending him into heavenly overstimulation. 
The final beat of the song brought you back to reality,
and before you realised it, you were back at your apartment, pulling into your parking lot and making your way up to your empty home. 
Your apartment was covered with Matt; a spare pair of his dirty, beat up airforces sat next to your messy array shoes by the front door, dried out flowers in jars were scattered around your whole apartment, all ones he had gotten you for birthdays or special achievements, or just because he saw them and thought of you. His jackets were hung up on your hooks, and his shirts were thrown lazily into your laundry baskets. Cards and notes were littered on your fridge and window sills, all just little messages he’d leave you throughout your entire friendship, even before you started sleeping together. 
You kicked off your shoes and padded over to the fridge to get some water, old photos and memories stared back at you. Your fingers wrapped around the handle of the door, but your arm didn’t budge, your attention was fixated on the array of photos stuck to the fridge. 
You had a photo of you and the boys when you were younger, your mum had found it when she was clearing out some old stuff and you simply had to steal it from her albums. There was another photo that Nick had taken at some party you don’t really remember and then there were two photos of you and Matt. One of them was a photo booth picture from some influencer thing he dragged you to, and the other was from your birthday last year. Just below the pictures, Matt had stuck a note under the floral magnet, you had no idea when he did it and honestly didn’t even notice it until that very moment. The note read, ‘hi, you’re pretty, have a nice day’ in what looked like his best attempt to have neat hand writing. 
You glanced over the photo from your birthday, it was just after you guys had started seeing each other, and the boys had decided celebrating your birthday away from LA was non negotiable, so you all went home to Boston and had a proper family birthday. It was perfect, and for that short week, everything in your life felt like it was finally falling into place. Tears began to prick at your puffy eyes once more as you stared at the picture, his strong arms wrapped around your shoulders, a cheesy grin spread across your face as he made one of his usual silly faces for the lens of Nicks camera. 
Your heart sunk in your chest, and for the first time since you met Matt all those years ago, you felt completely alone. You had done the one thing you were the most afraid of being done to you; you had walked out on him, without even stopping to tell him why. You had acted like everything you hated, and the shame you felt, coupled with a deep sadness and a looming feeling of heavy regret were all only exacerbated by the fact that, the only person you wanted to speak to about how you were feeling, was Matt. 
Back at his house, Matt was in his living room, sat across from his brothers, his elbows rested on his wide knees as his head hung on his neck, resting in his palms.
“You and y/n have been… fucking?” Chris said, fully spread across the sofa as he stared at Matt in bewilderment. 
“Don’t say it like that, Chris” Nick hit Chris on the chest, turning back to Matt and perching his head on his hand, looking at him with soft features that reassured Matt that he was listening, “carry on, Matt” he said. 
“It um— it started about six months ago, after Quens’ birthday party, d’you remember?” He said, brushing his hair out his face with a huff. 
“Oh, yeah, I remember that, you guys ended up kissing during that weird card game, right?” Nick said, recounting his hazy memories from the party. 
Matt nodded, rubbing the back of his neck, “We ended up sleeping together that night, I brought her back here and she snuck out in the morning before you guys woke up”
“You sneaky motherfucker, if this whole situation wasn’t depressing as fuck I’d be so proud of you dude.” Chris leant forward and grabbed Matts shoulder, shaking him slightly and beaming at him, trying to coax a smile out of him. 
A lazy smile creeped its way onto Matts face as Chris patted his back, that alone was enough to let him know that behind his sad eyes, Matt was still in there somewhere. 
“Wait, so, what happened? Why did she suddenly decide that she doesn’t want to see you anymore?” Nick pushed, just as confused as his younger brother. 
“I’ve got no fuckin’ idea, one minute we were fine, just chilling and watching gravity falls, and the next, she won’t even look at me” Matt sighed, his voice cracking as he spoke. He threw himself back onto the sofa and rubbed his eyes with the balls of his hands, groaning and trying not to cry. 
Chris and Nick shared a worried look, furrowed brows and concerned eyes pouring into each other as they both returned their attention to Matt, who was still shifting in his skin, the most worked up they’ve seen him in, well, in six months actually.
“Hey, kid, it’s gonna be okay, okay?” Chris placed a comforting hand on Matts knee, squeezing it slightly, “we’ve known her for like literally forever, whatever it is, I’m sure she’ll figure it out and come back” 
“Yeah” Nick said, moving to sit on the other side of Matt, “maybe she’s just having a moment or something? You know how she gets sometimes” he reassured Matt with a gentle hand on his shoulder. 
“I’m just—she jus’—I just don’t understand” Matt shook his head, hands raking down his face as frustrated tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. 
“Hey” Chris said gently, his voice wavering at the sight of Matt nearly crying, “Its okay, bro, you’ll figure it out, and besides even if you never get to fuck her again, I’m sure you’ll always be best friends” 
“Chris” Nick said quietly through gritted teeth, his hand gently rubbing Matts shoulder as he shot Chris a glaring look. 
“What?” Chris replied, innocently, not understanding what he said wrong. 
Matts head rolled against the back of the sofa, he let out a small chuckle and shook his head, a groan slipping from his lips, “I don’t care if I never get to sleep with her again dude, I jus’—“ he sighed, “I think I’m in love with her” he closed his eyes and squeezed his back teeth together, clenching his jaw as a throttling wave of sadness came over him, “and now I don’t know if I’m ever going to be able to tell her” 
In the month between you walking out and you both crashing back into each other,
you didn’t see Matt or the boys once. You completely isolated yourself, refusing to even think about what had happened. The night you came home, after hours of crying in the shower and wanting the world to swallow you hole, you decided that simply forgetting it ever happened was the best plan of action. If it never happened, then it didn’t need to matter. But it did happen, and it did matter and you became a shell of yourself, existing on auto pilot everyday. 
All you did was work and sleep, your social life becoming quickly non existent without the boys to coax you into actually leaving the house. You stopped replying to anyones messages in the first week, turning off all notifications and letting the little red bubble get longer and longer as the messages piled up in your phone. Everyday you managed to get yourself out of bed was a miracle, and if you showered and brushed your hair, it should have counted as an eighth wonder of the world. Your life had become an agonising picture coloured by shades of grey, all of the colour being stripped from your world when you slammed the door in your best friends face. 
You couldn’t understand why you couldn’t just call him, tell him that you were sorry, that you freaked out and acted like a fucking idiot, and that all you’ve ever wanted is for him to be around forever, in whatever shape that may take. You loved him, you had loved him since you were a child, but having sex with him, and being his in those fleeting moments of passion made you fall in love with him, and the thought of that made you feel like you were driving down the highway on the wrong side, cars flying towards you at a hundred miles per hour as someone blindfolded you and told you to keep driving. But not because of him, he was perfect. He was one of the only people in the world who you really trusted, who you knew you could always rely on no matter what and no questions asked. It was because of you, something inside of you felt broken, and you had no idea how to fix it. 
Matt wasn’t doing any better;
Unless he had to film or take a meeting, he barely left his room. He pushed away any attempt from his brothers to talk about you or what had happened since the night he told them about the two of you, not wanting to be reminded of the agonising feeling that had wedged itself between his ribs since the night you left.
His temper was shorter than ever, constantly snapping at one of the boys for tiny things and losing his shit every time a minor inconvenience happened. His parents got word of the fact that you two had stopped talking and tried to be there for him, your mum too, but he pushed everyone away. No one had the ability to crawl inside his brain and plant flowers in his weeds like you did, and he knew that, so he didn’t see the point in letting anyone even try.
After a certain point he stopped talking to everyone, only interacting with Chris or Nick when he really needed to and ignoring all the calls from Nate, his parents or Justin. He just wanted to be left alone, because at least then his reality would reflect how he felt. You had left a gaping hole in his life and slowly but surely, he was falling deeper and deeper into the dark abyss of that hole, letting the heavy sadness consume him with reluctant acceptance. 
Despite his temper and moping about, his brothers never stopped trying; 
A soft tap rattled his door, and a few seconds after, it creaked open, letting in a slither of light into his dark bedroom. 
“Matt? We’re gonna go get wing stop, d’you wanna come?” Chris said softly, peering his head through the crack in the door. 
Matt didn’t respond, he was tucked up to his neck in his duvet in his dark room, the only light in the room being that of his low brightness computer screen playing an array of depressing songs on loop and the light that Chris had welcomed in when he opened the door. 
“Matt, dude, you haven’t left your room in days, you gotta eat something” Chris sighed, his refusal to accept this new version of Matt apparent. 
Matt simply turned away from the door, turning his back to Chris in a silent ‘fuckin’ leave me alone’. Chris huffed, shaking his head and clicking the door shut. 
Nothing was working, and they had no idea if he was ever going to be okay again. Normally, he would mope about for a couple days and then be back to his usual silly, kind self. But this was different, he seemed completely void of anything that made Matt, Matt. 
Nick was fed up of his behaviour, and despite Chris’ constant battle with him over ‘just giving it time’, Nick knew, as his older brother and best friend, that it had all gone too far. So he took matters into his own hands.
That night, Nick got an uber to your apartment,
knowing it was your day off work and that you were almost definitely in the same position as Matt; not leaving your house or talking to anyone.  
The uber pulled up next to your apartment block and he got out the car, striding up the stairs to the entrance and relentlessly pounded against your front door. The sound made you jump in your skin, pulling your attention away from the last episode of season two of gravity falls, a show that hadn’t left your tv in weeks. When you didn’t answer the door to the first round of banging, it started again and you reluctantly pushed yourself off your sofa and walked over to the door as it vibrated on its hinges. 
“Okay, okay, m’coming, Jesus Chris” you groaned.  
When you opened the door, you were met with a face you hadn’t seen in weeks. 
“Nick?” Your face dropped in confusion.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, y/n/n” he started sounding off immediately, pushing himself into your apartment. 
“wha—“ you started to speak, but were immediately cut off. 
“In what universe is it okay to just go completely ghost on your best fucking friend? What the fuck were you thinking? Matt has been in a shit state since you ran out that night and I’m fuckin’ sick of it! He’s angry at everyone, he’s nearly gotten in actual fights with me and Chris about a thousand times and he’s even stopped talking to our parents. Our parents y/n.” Nicks face was nearly bright red with anger as he paced around your apartment. 
“Nick, I—“ you folded your arms over your chest, his words hitting you like bullets of reality. 
“No. I’m not finished.” He held his hand up to stop you speaking, “I don’t know what the fuck happened between the two of you, but you need to sort it out, because I can’t sit here and watch this all unfold anymore. I think what you fail to remember, is that despite the fact that you were fucking him, he was also supposed to be your best friend. We all were. When you walked out on him, you also walked out on me and Chris. You left us all high and dry without a single explanation and zero entrance back into your life to try and figure out what the fuck happened.” Nick finished his rant and took a deep inhale, his first real breath since he stepped foot in your apartment. 
The apartment was silent for a moment, you not knowing whether or not he was finished. “Can I speak now?”
“G’head” Nick replied, raising a hand, gesturing you to say your part. 
“I’m sorry that I walked out.” You said, it being the only thing you could think to say in that moment, “I didn’t know he was going through all of that” you said, averting your gaze to the floor. 
Nick chuckled in disbelief, “cut the shit, y/n/n” he said, “you know what he’s like, probably better than anyone. You know because you’re exactly the same, I mean, look at you, you look like shit” he said, not holding back, then again, when did he ever. 
You looked back up at him and couldn’t help but chuckle as his insult, “What are you talking about? M’fine” you shrugged. 
“Yeah sure you are, kid” Nick rolled his eyes, taking a few steps forward and lingering just in front of you. 
“Look, I don’t know what happened between you two, and honestly I don’t really care. But I do care about him, and I care about you, and I know that this is killing you as much as its killing him. so just stop being a fucking idiot and go tell him that you love him, because I’m tired of his stinking fuckin’ attitude and I miss you, I miss my best friend, we all do, Matt more than anyone” he placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, his warm skin pulling a single brick from the dam that had all your crippling emotions stuffed behind it. 
Tears brimmed at your eyes and Nick sighed, bringing you into an all encompassing hug, holding your head against his chest as you sobbed into him. He held you like that for a while, letting you cry in his arms as he cooed and rubbed the back of your head in the gentle embrace you were wrapped in. When you finally stopped shaking, you pulled away from him, wiping your tears and looked up at him through wet lashes. 
“What if he hates me?” You sniffled, your voice still shaky. 
Nick shook his head with a breathy laugh out his nose, “I don’t think he could hate you even if he wanted to, you’re everything to him” 
You and Nick shared another hug before he said he had to go and meet everyone in the city, asking you if you wanted to come and not pressing when you shook your head no, telling him you just needed to be alone. He left and you were alone again, your mind now racing with everything he had said, his words giving you the reality check you needed.
Back at the boys' house,
Matt was padding around the kitchen, he had left his room about ten minutes after he heard the front door click shut and he knew he was alone. As he shuffled around in the cupboards looking for a bowl for his hundredth meal of instant noodles, the front door slammed shut, and a burning annoyance filled his entire body. Chris came bounding up the stairs, seemingly in a hurry, but stopped in his tracks at the sight of Matt, actually out of his bedroom. 
“Oh, you’re up, I jus’ came back ‘cause I forgot my wallet” he said, grabbing his wallet off the table. 
Matt didn’t respond, he didn’t even acknowledge Chris’ presence. 
Chris went to leave, rolling his eyes and not even attempting to bother trying anymore but, in true Chris fashion, he was determined to find his brother inside this strange ghost that had infiltrated his home. 
“Look, dude, I know you’re hurting, trust me I get it but, you can’t keep letting this bring you down forever. There has to be a point were you realise that this isn’t healthy” He sighed, walking back to stand next to the table. “I know you love her, and I know that this whole situation is killing you, but maybe if you jus —“ he sighed, “maybe if you jus fuckin’ speak to her then you can sort all of this out, she can come back and everything can be normal again, ‘cause, its hard as fuck seeing you like this man and, even though I don’t love her like you do, I miss her too, she’s been around forever and it feels like we're a table missing a fuckin’ leg or some shit so, jus’ speak to her. what’s the harm in just trying, y’know?” 
Matt, with his back still to Chris, shifted where he stood slightly, opening his mouth to reply but swallowed his words. 
Chris sighed and shook his head, turning on the balls of his feet and running down the stairs. The slam of the front door echoed through the house, and Matt was soon left with the deafening silence left by Chris’ absence.
His brothers words ran laps around his mind, he knew he was right, this couldn’t go on forever, and he should just speak to you, but how was he even supposed to begin to try? Was he supposed to just show up at your apartment, tell you how he was dying inside, how this past month had been the hardest of his entire life and that he had missed you every single second of every day that passed painstakingly slowly? Was he supposed to just show up at your home, grab you by the face and tell you that he loved you and that he never wanted to be without you ever again? As the rapid thoughts bounced like pinballs against the walls of his skull, he realised that, that was exactly what he was going to do. 
He slammed the cupboard door shut and strode over to the table, picking his keys up and near enough sprinting down the stairs, not even stopping to put shoes on as he pulled the front door open and stepped out in front of his house. 
As he stepped out into his front yard, his heart fell down into his stomach at the sight of your shadowy frame, standing just a few feet from his front door, arms crossed over your pyjama top clad chest. He was paralysed, he didn’t know if he was dreaming or, if somewhere between the kitchen and the door he fell over and cracked his head open.
“Y/n” he choked out, it being the only thing he could muster up in that moment. 
“Hi” you said in a small voice, a shy smile finding your lips at the sound of him saying your name. 
Matt couldn’t move, feeling as though the ground had grown hands that had wrapped themselves around his ankles. You made the first move, taking a step into the light, the orange street lamp illuminating your features. His breath hitched in his throat at the sight of you, your beautiful face in his sights again after what felt like an eternity.
You walked closer to him, warmth radiated off him as he stared down at you with a slightly parted mouth. Neither of you spoke, you had no idea what to say, you just stared into each other for that long moment, the world shifting on its axis around you as suddenly, face to face like this, you felt like the only two people in the entire universe. Your eyes flitted between his, your lips periodically getting caught between your teeth as you tried to think of something, anything to say.
Matts eyes explored your face, as if he was memorising every inch of it incase it was the last time he was seeing you, incase this wasn’t real and he was asleep in his dark room. His gaze flitted to your plump lips and it sent a twinge up your spine, and without thinking, you latched your hands round the back of his head and pulled him down into you in a feverish, desperate kiss. He returned the kiss almost immediately, his hands slipping round your waist and pulling you into him in a frenzied attempt to feel you close to him again. 
You burst into the house back first, Matts hands clawing at your waist and his lips moving against yours in a clash of teeth and tongues, your arms draped over his shoulders as your hands desperately clung to his messy brown hair.
He kicked the door shut with his foot, one hand coming to your jaw to pull you into him deeper. You both clumsily walked towards his bedroom, Matt leading you backwards with closed eyes, just about missing the couch. Your hands left his hair and found the hem of his t-shirt, pulling it up over his head with vigour, breaking the kiss for a brief moment before crashing back into each other. Heavy breathing and small moans were the only sound in his house as he attempted to unbutton your shirt, not yet breaking the kiss and fumbling at the tiny circles that kept your body from him. He groaned into the kiss in frustration, biting your lip slightly before tearing your shirt open in one fowl rip. You chuckled into the kiss, Matt followed suit and your back hit the hard wood of his bedroom door, your arm frantically finding the door handle behind you.
When you finally gained entrance, still locked in an all consuming make out session with Matt, you slipped your hands between your bodies and began to untie the knot in his joggers, his whole body twitching at the sensation. Matt broke the kiss, panting, his forehead leaning on yours. 
“I thought you said we weren’t gonna do this anymore” He said through frantic breaths, his lips still brushing yours. 
“I know what I said” you muttered, finally undoing the bow that acted as the gatekeeper between your hand and his aching length, the swift insertion of your cold hand into his warm boxers acting as a mic drop to your statement as you pulled him into you once more. 
“So” Matt pulled away for a brief moment, missing the heat from your plump lips and kissing you before he spoke again, “what’re we doin” he panted. 
“Just shut up and kiss me, Matt” you shook your head, wrapping your hand round the back of his head, nearly giving him whiplash at the speed you pull his lips back to yours. 
He kissed you back hungrily, groaning into your mouth as he pushed you backwards onto his bed. You hit the bed with a small whimper as his mouth detached from yours, his tongue flattening against your neck, then your chest, then your stomach and then back up the way he came.
Your hands latched onto his curls as your back arched at the sensation of his mouth against you for the first time in what felt like forever. He moaned against your skin, grinding his hard cock into your desperate core, your clothes creating a frustrating amount of friction between the two of you.
He bucked his hips into yours, your legs tightening around his waist with every thrust. You were desperate, and he was starved of you. His large came to your open shirt and pushed it down over your shoulder, his perfect teeth clamping down on your soft skin. His mouth found the curve of your tit, pulling the lacy fabric of your bralette down to expose your hardened nipple to him. With one hand on your waist, and his mouth latched around your nipple, Matt groaned into your skin. Your head rolled back at the sensation of his warm tongue on you, your whole body felt like it was on fire as his touch became feverish.
"Matt, please, please, I need it, I need you" you whined, you weren't sure what you were begging for but the pleads spilled from your mouth almost on instinct.
Matt removed his mouth from you and tugged at your shirt, you shifted slightly to assist him as he threw it across the room. He palmed the flesh of your half exposed tits, growing frustrated at the sight of the baby blue lace of your bralette that kept him from seeing you completely. With one swift rip, he tore the flimsy fabric open at the seams, leaving it in scraps on his mattress. The vision of your heaving chest incited something animalistic in him and he instantly dove down, latching his mouth around you once more.
The moan that left your throat was guttural, your back arching off the bed as his hand slipped down between the two of you, skipping the teasing and heading straight for your throbbing clit. The tip of his middle finger found your nub instantly and without hesitation, he set an agonising pace, rubbing blissful circles over it as his tongue continued to work your nipple. He moved his hand down, swiping his ring and middle through your sopping wet folds. Your toes curled at the feeling and with that, Matt inserted his long fingers into your tight hole.
The feeling of you clenching around his fingers made his stomach tense, a deep, hungry moan leaving his mouth and vibrating around your tit. Your thighs clenched around his wrist, he brought his knee to yours and pushed your legs open with brute force, pinning you open for him as he made his way down your skin with wet and sloppy kisses. As he moved, he pulled down your pyjama bottoms and panties, the cold air peppering goosebumps all over your skin as he slowly exposed you to him.
You were completely bare, spread out on his bed. He got to his feet, knees resting on the edge of the bed as he gawked down at you, his chest heaving in anticipation at the sight of you like this for him, something he thought he'd never see again.
"are you sure y'wanna do this?" he said, removing his hands from you completely.
"Matt, you're the only thing I've ever been sure about in my entire life" you panted, sitting up, placing your hand on his chest and leaning up into him.
His fingers pressed against your core once more, attaching his lips to yours as you wrapped a hand around the back of his neck.
"I've missed you, so fuckin' much" Matt confessed into the kiss, pushing you further up the bed as he crawled between your open legs.
Your hands came to the waistband of his joggers and pushed them down with desperation, moaning into the messy kiss as he thrust his slender fingers in and out of you at a tormenting pace. You wrapped your hand around his cock and he bucked into your touch, chasing the feeling of you pumping him. He broke the kiss with a breathy whine, head dropping to the crook of your neck as he assisted you in lining his throbbing length up with your sopping hole. He pulled his fingers from you and rubbed small circles over your clit, you pressed his leaking tip against your hole.
Matt moaned your name, the feeling of your wet pussy so close to being around him making his vision go blurry.
His hand came to your face, pressing bruises into your cheek as he shifted you both to lay on your sides, facing each other. He moved his hand down, lifting your leg and hooked it over his waist, pulling you into him with such force that a short squeal left your lips. You continued pumping him, rubbing his tip through your folds, when you brushed him back over your hole, Matt bucked his hips, the sting of him stretching you out for a brief second inciting throaty moans from the both of you.
Once he had a taste, he was lost in it, and Matt pushed himself inside of you again, this time allowing himself to bottom out in your gummy, soaked walls. Your eyes rolled back at the sensation, your forehead pressing against his as he breathed desperate moans into your open mouth.
"Jesus christ you feel so fuckin' good" Matt whined, thrusting into you with one hand tucked between your face and his pillow, and the other on your thigh, the pressure of his touch sure to leave bruises behind.
He was bottoming out completely as your pussy milked him, clenching around his hard cock, and you felt as if you could cum from the sensation of his touches alone. Your whole body was tingling, every inch of your skin on fire with pure bliss as he fucked up into you at a steady pace.
"Matt, go faster, please" You whimpered, clawing at the back of his neck, tugging at the messy curls that gathered there.
He didn't need to be told twice, with a low growl, Matt set a rapid pace, fucking into you like it was the last thing he would ever do. Your moans were pornographic, the sting of his skin slapping against yours, coupled with the blissful stretch of your pussy around his cock sending you into a deep state of euphoria.
Matt grunted repeatedly, moaning your name over and over again as he fucked into you desperately. His moans made your ears ring, you brought a hand down in between you both and collected some of the juices that leaked from your pussy onto his cock, moving your fingers up to rub rapid circles across your puffy clit.
Matt grunted at the sight, his grip on your skin turning to blunt nailed scratches as he hardened his thrusts, pounding into you relentlessly as you worked your clit.
"keep doing that, angel, keep doing that for me, you feel so fucking good clenching around me like this, jesus christ, you're so fucking sexy when you touch yourself for me" he was rambling, completely consumed by the sight of you, the feeling of you milking his cock bringing him closer and closer to his release.
"fuck, Matt, m'gonna cum, m'gonna cum" you cried out, tears pricking at your eyes as he fucked into you at a rapid pace. the sensation of his merciless grip on your skin coupled with the stimulation of your throbbing clit making you see stars.
"cum for me, angel, cum f'me, I'm right there with you, m'right there with you" his words were almost incoherent.
The sound of him telling you to cum was enough to send you tumbling down into ecstasy, and he was right behind you. The vice grip your clenching pussy had around his cock was incredible, and wet sounds of your cum releasing all over his length filled the air as his pace became sloppy, chasing his high as he stuttered inside of you.
"Fuck, Matt" you cried out, and the sound of you crying out his name sent him over the edge.
He released threads of ropy cum into your gaping hole, fucking his seed into you as his movements began to slow.
Your breathless pants filled the room as you both came down from your highs, foreheads pressed against each others, sharing oxygen as your leg remained wrapped around his waist. His hand caressed the side of your face, pushing your hair out the way to look at your pretty, fucked out face. 
When you opened your eyes, he was already looking at you and the feeling of his eyes baring into yours made your skin hot. 
“Hi” you smiled. 
“Hey” He cheesed back, rubbing small circles on your warm cheeks. 
After a brief moment of loving stares, reality set in, and you remembered the agonising events that led you to being here, tangled up with him like this. The dark circles around Matts eyes that mimicked your own broke your heart, and in that moment, you couldn't bare the thought of never being away from him ever again.
“I um—I’m really sorry, Matt.” Your smile dropped into a sincere, pleading expression. 
“You don’t have to apologise to me, y/n” Matt shook his head against the pillow. 
“No, I —“ you sat up, resting on your elbow to look down at him. His hand on your cheek didn’t falter and you pressed your head into his touch with closed eyes, “I do. I’m so fucking sorry, Matt. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I—I just freaked out because you called me baby and I —“ your rambling was cut off by his voice.
“Wait” he said, shifting to rest against his headboard, letting his hand drift down the soft skin of your arm, “all of this, was because I called you baby?” He asked through a short, baffled laugh. 
You nodded, some what embarrassed, sitting up completely in front of him, taking his large hand in yours and toying with the rings on his fingers. 
“But, I called you baby all the time” Matt chuckled, grasping your hand in his and gaining your attention back to his soft eyes. 
“I know, it just— it freaked me out because I think I realised in that moment that I was in love with you and, I just didn’t know how to handle that” you looked away from him again, the weight of your confession making your voice crack. 
Matts ears began to ring, “You’re in love with me?” He questioned, thinking his mind was playing tricks on him. 
You locked eyes with him again, he looked so soft, his kind eyes almost sparkling with happiness at your words, “yeah, I'm in love you, Matt” you nodded, “I am, and I — I tried to ignore it, I tried to push it down and forget about it but, I couldn’t, I don’t know how to forget you” 
Matt didn’t say anything, he felt as though all the words in the English language were ripped from his brain as you told him you loved him for the second time. He simply starred at you in awe, your hand firm in his grip. 
“Can you say something, please” you said, your eyes flitting away from his for a second before returning to their prior position. 
“Y/n/n, I— I’ve been in love with you since we were ten years old” the words spilled from his mouth, a wave of utter relief washing over him at the feeling of finally admitting a fact he’s known for half his life. 
“You have?” Your expression was pleading as your eyes widened at his confession. 
“I’ve loved you more and more everyday I’ve known you, I just didn’t realise it until that night when— when we kissed” He said, sitting up and lingering inches away from your face. He brought his hand back up to your face, “You don’t know how to forget me?” He chuckled, “I couldn’t ever forget you, even if I tried, even if I wanted to” his lips brushing over yours softly as you breathed into his parted mouth. 
You didn’t respond with words, instead, you pressed your lips against his with such force that it sent him back down to his satin pillow.
You were terrified, and completely enamoured by him. You loved him more than you'd ever thought possible and he loved you just the same. And despite the fact that the idea of being loved, truly loved, scared you beyond belief, you no longer felt like you were drowning. Because you knew that no matter what happened, Matt would always be there to dive into the rocky waters and pull you to the surface.
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