#honestly i just felt like people were not very appreciative of the amount of work that goes into restoring

[pdxplushhospital]

Do you repair old teddy bears?

hi! we did for a short period of time but it ended up not being worth the high shipping costs back and forth + the rudeness of some of the customers we had. eventually we'd love to do it again but right now it's just not really feasible. thanks for asking though!!

[3verythingiknowaboutlove]

sophrosyne

how liaison intern!reader and spencer grapple with a recent case that's taken an individual toll on them

angst! eeek! word count: 1277 warnings & tags & stuff: lowkey sad, reader cries a little, mentions of schizophrenia (in an unsub), and correlations to spencer/diana are hinted at, it’s mentioned that that unsub gets shot, like the beginnings of a crush showing but otherwise no fluff, just gentle spence as always, social commentary & my personal thoughts on our justice system definitely peek through. very first attempt at some bigger sad scary feelings authors note: hi!!! im alive!!! and guess what!! its my birthday!! i'm 20 which is totally insane. anyway i missed you all and i HAVE been writing, just not posting. it just got like too much when it registered that THAT many people are reading my stuff, yk? i do appreciate all the love SO MUCH but its still a little scary. anyway. i hope you enjoy, i think this is an interesting one? not sure. i fear my intentions for it may have gotten lost in the writing so please let me know if it doesn't make any sense. okay have a superb day ily!!!

Spencer is spinning and he won’t stop and it’s hypnotic.

There’s a little squeak coming from the chair with each turn that sends goosebumps down your legs, filling the otherwise silent bullpen with noise.

You imagine it must be a little sickening, or at least uncomfortable, spinning in a chair for such a long amount of time. You're honestly a little concerned. His legs are crossed like a child’s.

The look on his face—one that you can't quite make out right now due to his motions—has been the same for the better part of the afternoon. That was concerning. It’s so contemplative and stoic. Like an old Greek statue, Odysseus? you think, carved from marble, weathered to the point of near crumbling.

But this case, this case, the one you got back from exactly four hours and twenty two minutes ago, wasn’t anything too bad, was it?

You blink at that thought, taken aback with yourself, the empathy hitting you like a wave. Of course it was bad. They’re all bad. People are dead. All those families are broken in ways that won’t ever heal.

Your second month as an intern under Agent Jareau, working to become a liaison just like her, proved to be almost everything that one grouchy ex-FBI-Agent-turned-guidance-counselor at your university said it would be. 

Harsh. Sad. Cold. It will strip you of your sensitivity. Your gentleness.

But this case. It had a sharper edge to it than the rest, slicing the littlest bit deeper into your skin. A lingering heaviness weighed on your chest. Were you the only one who felt it? Clearly not, if this guy spinning in his chair was any indication. 

Most of the bullpen had cleared out, leaving only the mess of the team’s half-finished mugs behind in the sink. You had stayed though, needing to shake this weight off before you brought it home with you. The last file of the day is spread out on your desk, but you’re far from it, standing across the room by the coffee machine. Hiding. 

You pour two cups, unable to stop the methodical replay of the case in your mind. Not just the brutal MO, but the bigger picture. The circumstances. The diagnosis. The history.

Agent Jareau had made it your responsibility to take care of all the family-related files.

Male, aged 30, diagnosed with acute schizophrenia at age 22. Stabbed 6 women in the throat.

Family history of disorder? (Check one) : Y ☐ N ☐

The unsub, his father, his aunt, and his grandfather. They all had the same last name, bump on their nose, gap between their teeth, and identical diagnoses of schizophrenia. A twisted family tree. The branches, the unsub’s fate.

You turn toward the spinning blur of the chair, unsure if Spencer even knows you're there.

… 

Ceramic scrapes against wood. Still warm, it leaves a condensation trail in its path. “I added a bunch of sugar,” you offer quietly, unsure if he’ll even acknowledge it. 

Spencer slows. He doesn't reach for the mug like you’d hoped, but he stops spinning. Small victories.

He stares down at the file in front of him, and for a second you wonder if your interruption made things worse. That little groove between his eyebrows- today, there more often than not- shows up, a problem trying to become untangled in his mind. 

You really should go. Leave him alone, Spencer clearly has his own things to sort out. But your legs are tethered to the ground. Maybe it's due to the fact that he just got a new haircut, and it’s nice. Really nice. Or maybe it’s because you, too, feel like getting lost in your own head right now. 

You swallow. “You okay?” you ask, before you can help yourself, and you regret it instantly. It sounds too personal, too sudden, too much, like teeth clashing during a kiss. You're intruding on something that Spencer isn’t prepared to share, something unfinished.

His eyes finally land on you for a split second, and he gives you a nod, shallow and unconvincing. You know better than to push for the truth.

You lean on the edge of his desk, keeping your distance but not leaving. You stare into the swirls of your coffee, fingers drumming on the side of your mug. This moment is fragile, you know, and yet you’re unable to stop yourself from talking. A chronic weakness, on your part. “I don’t think this case was…” you pause, searching for the right words. “It wasn’t like the others, was it?” 

Spencer looks at you again, for a beat longer than you expect. The tension in his face softens, just a little. You see it too.

“No,” he says finally, voice low. “It wasn’t.” 

There's something in the way he looks at you that makes your heart pound. There’s a sense of openness to it. He’s not exactly confiding in you, not yet. But he’s also not completely shutting you out, either.

Strange. The total opposite of what you’d expect. You keep talking.

"Everything he did was just a clear demonstration of his schizophrenia, which is genetic and so prevalent in his family. I just keep feeling like… like it wasn’t his fault. Like it was predetermined. And he died for it,” you ramble quietly. “Morgan shot him.” Your voice breaks.

He stills, not saying anything for a beat.

“He wasn’t given much of a fighting chance, was he?” Spencer asks quietly, almost to himself. Like the question was a familiar one. His eyes drift over the file, the unsub’s family members listed front and center. There's something sad in his gaze. Resigned. Like he’s thought about this before.

You shake your head.

“I think,” Spencer starts softly, staring at a point on the floor, voice barely above a whisper. “You're the only one here who sees it. The way we villainize them.” The words sting in a way you didn’t expect.

Silence rings between you two. It’s thick, and nothing but sad. The weight of the case, of the pain, of the impossibility of it all hangs in the air like a dark cloud.

You dip your head, a sudden tear slipping down your cheek and falling into the fabric of your brand new dress pants. Your hands hold the edge of the table behind you and you inhale shakily. 

“I don’t know if I’m cut out for this job,” you whisper after a long while, the words delicate.

Silence hangs between you two again. Then, his voice, thoughtful and deliberate and caring, breaks it up. 

“I don’t think it’s about being cut out for it. It’s not about being tough. It’s about being able to hold that much emotion without letting it break you, because you recognize the alternative of not doing the job would be worse. And it’s hard. It’s so… hard. But you’re doing that. You're doing really well.”

You blink, surprised by the calmness in Spencer’s words. The logic is almost comforting in and of itself, in a way.

“Not everyone can hold that much empathy,” Spencer continues, his voice low. “We need more of that, the team does.”

Your throat tightens. 

“I'm sorry,” you say, your voice small. “I didn't mean to put this all on you.” Spencer shakes his head, not minding. 

“You should go home and get some sleep. Maybe it’ll be a little better in the morning. It usually is.” 

You nod, but you don’t move right away. You feel like the moment you leave, you’ll slip from this edge you’ve been teetering on.

“You go,” you eventually say, quiet. “I’m gonna wash all those mugs people left in the sink.”

[werewolf-witchboy]

😇✨ Sugar Daddy Lucifer Morningstar X Gender Neutral Sugar Baby Reader ✨😇

SUMMARY: you're the king of Hell’s favorite influencer and he wants to make it very clear how much he appreciates you and loves your content, thus starting a transactional relationship between the two of you that slowly turns into something more.

WARNING: light stalker stuff going on for a little bit lol ┐(￣ヮ￣)┌ also some sugar baby catching feelings for sugar daddy nonsense

(also- i'm using the terms "sugar daddy" and "sugar baby" pretty loosely, and there are no sexual transactions in this story)

NOTE: I keep going back and forth between saying “livestream” and “video,” so just assume that in the story y/n mainly does livestreams and uploads them as videos later.

•You started out as a humble influencer in Hell.

•What you didn't know is that you happened to be the favorite influencer of THE king of Hell Lucifer himself.

•I personally headcanon that when this man finds something he likes, he REALLY obsesses over it.

•I can imagine him laying in bed with a cozy blanket and a snack, kicking his knees while watching your latest upload.

•Not gonna lie Luci got kinda stalker-ish in order to find you and know you in person.

•He is the king after all, so therefore he has ways to find and keep track of his people.

•It started as him sending you money anonymously as a way to give his appreciation to his favorite content creator.

•You'd sometimes get small donations here and there from different people, but you definitely noticed the big donations you'd consistently get. Even though they were all anonymous, you assumed they were all from the same person because it was usually always an absurd amount of money to donate to an influencer.

•While livestreaming one day you mentioned that you wanted to find out who this anonymous donor was and somehow do something special to thank them.

•Lucifer NEVER misses one of your livestreams and felt extra fanboyish thinking about his fav influencer doing something special specifically for him.

•He knew he couldn't just message you and say “I'm your anonymous donor” because he didn't have a public account. If he were to message with his anonymous account saying that he's the king of Hell you'd obviously think he was lying.

•HERE is where his stalker era starts. 💀

•Luci comes up with this convoluted plan that actually somehow ends up working exactly the way he wanted.

•He happens to “find” you at a place he knew is your favorite café just outside of Cannibal Town.

•He pretends to just be casually walking by (well, as “casual” as the king of Hell can be)

”Oh hey! I've seen a few of your videos, I like your content!”

•You're absolutely baffled that the man in front of you praising your content is Lucifer himself.

•Lucifer invites himself to sit down with you, and how could you possibly refuse.

(He knows using his status to get what he wants is a lil problematic, but he easily pushes any guilt aside cuz he gets to be in your presence. He honestly wonders why he hadn't done this sooner.)

•He uses this opportunity to ask you a bunch of questions he's always wanted to ask, as if this were his personal Q&A with you. You happily answer his questions and even ask your own, eager to get to know Lucifer.

•Eventually he asks the main question that'll set his plan into place.

“Have you ever done any collabs?”

Of course he already knows the answer is no.

•”I've never asked anyone to collaborate with me, I'm a little insecure and automatically think they'll say no.”

•”I'm shocked! I'd personally love to be in one of your videos!” He boasts.

•Even though you've been talking for a while now, your brain still hasn't been fully able to compute that you're not only talking to Lucifer Morningstar, he says he enjoys your content, AND he just said he'd like to be in one of your videos.

•”Wha- I'm sure you've got so much more important things to do!”

•”I've got spare time!”

•When he realized he was probably starting to sound desperate, he backed it up a bit;

“I'm not trying to invite myself into one of your videos, but what I am saying is that IF I were one of those people you were to ask then I'd definitely accept your offer!” He twiddled his fingers nervously under the table, his smile never faltering.

•”oH I mean I do want to ask you- I am asking you!” You become just as nervous as Lucifer, fumbling over your words a bit.

•Before you can say anything else he raises from his seat and extends his hand out in agreement. “Sounds good to me!” You quickly stand to take his hand and shake it.

•The two of you calm down a bit and start discussing times and dates, even though Lucifer knows he's just going to accept whatever day you suggest and cancel any plans that he might already have for that day.

•Lucifer's little plot went perfectly.

•The day came when Luci got to feature in a video with his fav influencer.

•The video blew up super quickly, you gained a whole new wave of fame.

•Not only was he in the video with you, but he also got to spend the whole day with you.

•Somewhere along the way he kind of forgot that he was with his fav influencer and started to feel more like he was just hanging with a friend…which, honestly, he hasn't really had a friend in a long time.

•Also- you had noticed that during the stream with Lucifer you didn't get any donations from your special anonymous donor who never missed any of your previous streams.

•THIS MOMENT is where Lucifer knows he could potentially ruin everything with you, but he wants to be honest.

•He tells you that he's the anonymous donor, and that he can prove it with receipts. He admits that he didn't just casually watch your content like he said previously, and that he's actually a super huge fan. He doesn't go into detail about the stalker-ish extent he went to find you though.

•You take a second to process everything.

•I think if it were any other man you'd probably be a bit weirded out. It's definitely mainly because he's the king of Hell, but also he's just so charming that it's kinda hard for you not to be flattered.

•Now the king of Hell is in your phone contacts and you've got a viral video of the two of you together that shows literally everyone that you know him, it all feels so surreal.

•You still get donations from him on your streams, they still say they're anonymous but you know it's him.

•Lucifer calls you ALL THE TIME, usually to talk about absolutely nothing and everything at the same time.

•Suddenly he started showing up at your door with random gifts. Usually things that you mention very briefly on social media.

•Like one day you posted a pic on your story of a cute pair of shoes that you'd like to have, and the next day he's on your doorstep with a shoebox in hand.

•This escalated to him taking you out to dinner quite frequently, and he'd always go out of his way to reserve a special private area or even book out the whole restaurant.

•Then he started inviting you to visit him. Movie nights at his place, or he wants to show you something new he made.

•Eventually it turned into you staying the night at his place sometimes. You'd fall asleep during movie night and he didn't wanna wake you, or your home is just so far away and he didn't wanna let you go home in the dark.

•THEN it became you staying at his place for multiple days in a row, and sometimes it felt like you practically lived with him.

•You’d always ask Lucifer what you could do to repay him for all of the stuff he does for you, and he just replies that your company is enough to satisfy him and when you aren't around he still gets to watch your new videos.

•After getting to know the king of Hell over the span of almost a full year, you've come to realize that he was a pretty lonely man before you met him.

•He almost never talks to his own wife, whom you aren't even sure is his wife anymore. He rarely talks to his daughter, and is terrified of not being a good enough dad to her. Most of his time is spent home alone if he isn't tending to somekind of personal royal business.

•You knew Lucifer meant it when he told you that your company is enough to repay him.

•Somewhere down the line, you've started catching yourself contemplating your feelings for him.

•Don't get me wrong, he's always made you swoon and get flustered. It's really hard not to when a handsome man is literally handing you everything you want on a golden platter.

•There are much more raw moments you have with him, when you're just sitting on the couch together and you start to think about your possible future together.

•You usually end up getting slapped with reality when you remember who it is you're looking at. The king of Hell.

•Being in a relationship with a man of such status could never be in the cards for you. You're aware that you're basically just his sugar baby and that's probably all you'll ever be.

•You were definitely fine with the transactional relationship between the two of you, in fact you enjoyed it.

•Now, with these feelings constantly creeping up on you it made everything so much more complicated, and it made it hard for you to be around him knowing you'll never be anything more to him than a sugar baby.

•Lucifer is a sweet man, but you know there's another side of him that's a powerful king. His wife was an equally powerful queen. You're not enough for him, he just wants someone to keep him company.

•What you don't know is that while you're sitting there on the couch next to him having an inner depressive episode, he's got a box in his pocket that he's waiting for the perfect moment to whip out.

•In the box is a flashy custom engagement ring that he wants everyone to be able to see from a mile away.

•That man wants to make you officially his and he has been trying his hardest to make that VERY clear.

•You're just kinda insecure and don't think high enough of yourself. ಥ⌣ಥ

[rassvetsky]

Loverboy

jake "hangman" seresin x fem!reader

"Jakey, just have fun for me," your whine brought out a lovesick smile on his lips. "You can't call me every fifteen minutes and actually expect to enjoy your night out."

[1.1k] | incredibly lovesick jake seresin alert, idk what this is im not even sober, am i ever not drunk, anyway alcohol consumption, javy's bromance w/ jake, just fluff actually he's so cute i'm forever gonna stick up for the loverboy jake agenda

reblog and/or like for a kiss, feedback much appreciated! not proofread.

With his back against the outer wall of the bar, Jake couldn't contain the smile on his lips while tapping away on his phone to find your name.

He had no idea how and when it happened exactly, this excruciating amount of pull that you had on him— which had him twirling his imaginary long hair and kicking his feet often after any moment spent with you or as a very natural response to a very casual text you sent, when nobody was around to see.

He was happy to be living up to the nickname you gave him long ago, when that too-good-to-be-true exterior cracked and cracked until he finally revealed his true nature; a loverboy.

Your line dialed for the fifth time as he held his phone up to his ear, the music still pretty much hearable even through the wall. Javy was inside waiting for him, and honestly was quite surprised that Jake would down the rest of his second drink and walk out right away because "I gotta tell my girl about this, she's gonna laugh so hard" but it was the new normal for a long while now, wasn't it?

You finally picked up, a bit later than usual since you said that you'd just be at home— catching up with work and stuff which Jake didn't really listen to the details of, and you couldn't exactly blame him for that. "Hello?"

"Hey, babe." his giddy tone could be felt through the line. "Jus' wanted to check up on you. What are you doing?"

"Ah," you chuckled. "Still working, honey. Same as you left me."

All you could hear was a hum of understanding before he released a deep sigh, leaning further on the wall. "Wish you were here with me, honestly. Javy's such a fucking idiot— can't wait to tell you all 'bout it."

"Jakey, just have fun for me," your whine brought out a lovesick smile on his lips. "You can't call me every fifteen minutes and actually expect to enjoy your night out."

"But I enjoy things a lot more when you're doing it with me."

"Machado's gonna hate me if you keep this shit up, y'know that?" he recognized your teasing tone immediately, huffing out a snicker. "He's still hurt that you wouldn't spend 'Bromance Day' with him."

"Well, his 'Bromance Day' just so happened to be February fourteenth, he should've managed his expectations. I was free on the thirteenth. Not the fifteenth because my girlfriend is an insatiable little—"

"Hey, shut it," you laughed, and he knew you well enough to know that you were shaking your head now, even if he couldn't see. "You should stop grumbling about one of the few people that actually endures your annoying ass, work on your time management and get back to the bar, alright?"

"Right," he took a deep breath again, not even aware that he was holding it— perhaps he was afraid of missing even the tiniest details of your voice, unhappy with the lack of justice the static of the line did to it. "I'm gonna wreck that dart board for you, baby."

When Jake came back home that night, a little bit later than he said he would, but in his defense, you did tell him to have fun. Probably reeking of alcohol and sweat, he figured in his tipsy state that you must be asleep by now, and made sure to be extra quiet while shuffling out of his jacket and setting his keys down by the shoe rack. He tiptoed his way over to the bathroom then, and ran himself a cold shower— mostly to get rid of the scent, and to perhaps go to bed with a clearer head but he was sloppy nonetheless, and a shower without singing wasn't really a good shower.

He still sang some of his favorite songs very quietly though.

But when he walked into your shared room with a warm robe around his body, he didn't expect you to… not be there. It was late. You sure would've left what you were doing to run to his side the second he came back if you were awake, right?

Looking around the room in confusion as if you'd magically appear from behind the curtain and scare him shitless, he took a sharp breath and walked towards the small study you had— a comfortable, quiet space to work on stuff or to just think, and his prediction proved itself to be right because you were right there, arms crossed on top of the desk with your head resting on them, eyes closed, computer still open with whatever you were busy with doing on the screen.

God, he was smiling like an idiot.

"My busy bee…" he whispered to himself, before carefully approaching your desk— making sure to save all your work before putting the computer on sleep mode just in case. With one arm leaning against the desk, he then looked down at your sleeping figure, looking so content despite the awkward position— and he couldn't help the quiet chuckle that left his lips. "Should I wake you or potentially startle you while trying to carry you to bed?"

You didn't even stir.

"You're gonna be the death of me one day." he complained, but tried out a couple of different arm positions that he could potentially use to carry you— with no luck. That's when you finally let out a yawn though, mumbling out his name before slowly pushing yourself off the desk. "I'm sorry— I couldn't figure out how to pick you up. It's easier when you're on the couch—" but then you just wrapped your arms around his neck, getting in a better position for him to pick you up.

Too sleepy to do anything else. Jake felt his heart doing Olympic backflips.

With a secure grip by your waist and the back of your knees, he carefully picked you up from where you were seated, smiling to himself when he felt your lips by his neck, and then a tired murmur. "M'sorry. Wanted to stay awake for you but— work's boring."

He chuckled at that, a soft noise that brought a smile to your lips when your back finally met the cold mattress. "You should've just gone to bed, sweetheart. Your back will kill you if you keep that up."

"It's fine," you replied, only then opening your eyes to see him sitting by the edge of the bed, his warm palm covering your knee with a compassionate smile on his lips. "Bed's cold. You gotta warm me up or else I might actually die—"

"God, such a baby," his tease was followed by a chuckle as he slightly pushed you over to get to his side, quickly wrapping the both of you with a blanket before undoing the belt of his robe, just so the knot wouldn't bother you when he pulled you closer to his chest. "Go right back to sleep, honey. I got you."

And you were content on doing exactly what he told you to do, except, he didn't do the same— but instead, decided to take a good look at your serene expression and sigh to himself, nothing but whispers leaving his lips as he admired you. "I love you so bad, it's not even funny anymore."

a/n: guess which songs jake were singing in the shower. my playlist is very dry lately and im going to steal your guesses shamelessly and then remember you fondly 3 years later when i stumble upon that song again and then we're gonna fall in love and—

[dragon-ashes1485]

TROP s2 ep8

Wow. OK I...am mostly not coherent at the moment so I will be doing character breakdowns because SHIT A BRICK there is so much to unpack.

Durin:

I want to start by saying how fantastic that opening was?! Durin bidding goodbye to Disa as he went to confront his father was so good. Owain portrayed the look of a son in this episode, someone who truly admires his father and wants the best for him, but he also portrayed a king, a dwarf that desires the best for his people with all his heart. I am disappointed we didn't get an Elrond & Durin reunion but his dad had just died so...fair I guess.

I really enjoyed the dwarf storyline, especially watching them descend into greed, especially Durin III, who let me say had an absolutely metal exit. The story of them arm-wrestling when Durin was a child really shows that he feels put under by his Father, only for Durin III to admit in his final minutes that Durin was always strong, and that he would need to be strong. I loved that part, the dialogue made me very sad.

A moment to appreciate this scene please!

The end of the story in season 2 for the dwarves feels like we might see more of them in possible season 3? I really hope so. I liked that Durin was ready to offer aid to the Elves, it's clear how awful he felt that Eregion fell in part because he could not send his army until it was too late.

Aside: DISA LIVES SO I LIVE ALSO.

Also: baby Balrog, anyone? I love how that firey bastard looked. They made it look like it had been plucked straight from the depths of hell itself.

I really hope the Dwarven storyline is a key focus in season 3, especially if it means getting the three amigos (or the two amigos and their tag-along elf) back together.

The Stranger:

It has been revealed! He has his beautiful staff! I love that it was taken from the ruins of the Stoor tree, kind of continuing the storyline of beauty coming from peril that seems to follow Gandalf around in the finales of the last two seasons. I very much enjoyed the little scene with Tom Bombadil. I'd heard them singing in the soundtrack and was very pleased to see it.

I'm including the Harfoots in this section, too, as they weren't in it much. Poppy's story of what Saddoc told her after she lost her family was so heartfelt and very Tolkein, I think that was my favourite bit of the Harfoot storyline this episode. For Nori...is it cruel for me to say that her ending of the journey with the Stranger felt a bit...sudden? I enjoyed her storyline and then she simply walks away from him. While I appreciate that she's doing her own thing, it feels like we were given such a character who was kind of swept away a little? I don't know, I liked parts of it but some felt like an untouched cup of tea, lukewarm and slightly disappointing. I might be alone in this but who knows! I only hope her story isn't left there.

Elendil: (and others)

Oh Elendil, thank you for acknowledging the existence of your other son, Anarion! Also he has Narsil now!! *happy noises* oh Miriel letting him go, sacrificing herself for him once more. This poor woman, please treat her and Elendil nicely next season? Pretty please? Eärien redeemed herself very slightly, I'm glad Kemem wasn't in Numenor when she snuck her father from the chaos. That scene reminds me of all the religious toil that took place during the Tudors, with the Reformation of the church, it all felt very alike. Anyway, I really enjoyed the little we saw of Numenor and hope there's more shown next season. It felt a little disappointing screen-time wise, so maybe s3 can give us a little more!

Alright then. Celebrimbor:

The amount of pain he endures to protect the rings was horrifying to see. I honestly thought they wouldn't show his torture at the hands of Sauron, nor the famous Celebrimbanner. But honestly? Good for you, not shying away from his tragedy of a death, giving him the honour he deserves. Also Charles Edwards? Brilliant work with Charlie Vickers. The writers really went for likening his time spent with Annatar to domestic violence. "Look what you have done to yourself" and all the talk in ep7 about how it was actually Celebrimbor's fault. The torture was horrifying, please feel for me as I had to watch it twice to find the screenshots. I will miss Celebrimbor's character but I am glad the writers gave him the true ending, evidenced the true tragedy of his death.

The shot of the forge is so upsetting. It was once a place of craft and happiness for Celebrimbor, all of Eregion was, but then it was the place of his torture and death.

Isildur:

Not much to say about him to be honest as it felt rather overshadowed by the Estrid romance that, if I'm honest, hasn't really interested me. Like, at all. The moment with Theo was sweet though, as was his acknowledgement of what he had become since his mother's death. I hope we find put what happens to Theo at some point, and that he might reunite with Arondir.

People who can get fucked:

Kemen. Little shit wanting to harm the trees, starve the settlers and this bitch threatened to kill Berek so he deserves nothing more than death. I'm getting angry just typing this so I will say no more.

Adar:

For a sec I was like, why is he so smooth. Then it all went to shit. I still want to know who he is! He was such a good villain but his death was inevitable. He had become too enamoured with killing Sauron, and his children suffered for it. I liked that his death mirrored when he killed Sauron, even the angle was spot on. It saddened me that Glûg was the one who did it, but not wholly unsurprising. His last words were awful and made me feel terribly sorry for him.As a side note, Glûg's death was sad, he had killed his father, found a new master and suffered a cruel death as a result. Also well done effects/makeup team for the transition back into Adar's scars.

Galadriel:

Flipping heck, the whole fight sequence with Sauron made me kick my feet. The part where he shapeshifted was so cool to watch! Also the fight was so dance-like, it was mesmerising. I am enjoying her character becoming wiser in this season, not even tempted this time by Sauron's offers. But she's still the warrior determined to vanquish him, literally crawling across the ground to defeat him. Oh the way I squirmed when Morgoth's stupid crown stabbed her so deeply.

SHE DID AN ELROND. SHE JUMPED. FORESHADOWING *CHEFS KISS*

Just saying, she looked fabulous in the cottage-core dress she wore in Imladris. I really hope the writers continue to make her the wise Galadriel we know in the third age, and also that she gets to fight in battle, of course.

I have so many hopes for her character in s3. Very proud of her not going back to Sauron, that bitch is abusive.

Sauron: dickhead. He killed Celebrimbor. Absolute kettle.

Gil-Galad:

He was great, I liked his joke about Galadriel. They might have redeemed his character a bit, in the last two episodes so I hope we see some more of that!

I love him fully about to rip off an orcs head because it made Elrond sad an dishonoured Celebrimbors work.

Elrond:

Best til last? I just have more to say about his character and also the parallels making my heart sing, so expect many crappy quality snapshots.

Firstly, I'd like to point out how much I loved that he was the one to save Galadriel. He has rejected the Elven rings (with rightful caution) but not enough to leave his friend to perish. He jumped off of a cliff to save his friends from the ring, and then when Galadriel mirrors his actions to stop Sauron getting them, he saves her. He is constantly looking after those he loves, rings or no rings.

This moment here made me sad. Elrond, fresh from the blood on the battlefield, trying to preserve the purity of Celebrimbor's legacy. He even addresses the orcs as they prefer, trying desperately to preserve anything of his friend, who he knows has fallen with Eregion. And they make him watch the burning, as though he was watching the last memory of Celebrimbor dwindle.

I swear, if he and Durin do not reunite in s3 and fix this look on Elrond's face, I will be disappointed. I need the comedy of those two again, help me recover from this season.

PARALELL OF S2 EP1 WHEN GALADRIEL PICKS UP THE RING. Oh I love me a cheeky parallel.

Please praise the cinematographers. They seem to give all the fancy shots to Elrond which is quite funny.

"We barely had the strength to flee" oh my heart fucking broke. Why do they do this to this guy? Let the poor elf retire in Imladris in peace. (Also, imladris?! Yay!) Thank you to the writers and Elrond for finally acknowledging the physical and mental toll of war. It's literally the reason Imladris becomes what it will be, because Elrond saw war and lived it, lived WITH it all his life. Let him retire please.

THIS IS WHAT I MEAN. PRAISE THE CINEMATOGRAPHERS. The look into the camera, the decision he has to make, chefs kiss.

I don't know what to expect to happen with his character next season, but I very much hope it involves Durin. His character arcs over the last 2 seasons have been insane, that's why he's so easy to ramble about, the characterisation and acting of him is phenomenal. Please be kind with them all, Amazon.

Lastly: ARONDIR AND VOROHIL LIVE. Please let Camnir be in Lindon, untouched, making maps and drinking tea.

Overall I really enjoyed the episode. Some of the Harfoots bits as I've said were a little odd but overall a great episode. Loved the parallels in this, the gorgeous shots, representing the mental toll from torture and war and also having the bravery to show that kind of thing on screen! I hope dearly that season 3 will only be better and continue to flesh out these character we love so much.

[turbulentscrawl]

Identity(V) Headcanons: Norton Campbell

I'm starting off the writing blog with some of these character analysis-esque headcanons! (Starting with Norton bc he's honestly the reason I made this blog.) They'll serve both as practice for me, and examples for any readers on how I write different characters.

Again, I am new to the IDV fandom, and I have never played the game. These headcanons are informed by ongoing lore dives sourcing the wiki, japanese twitter responses, comics, stageplay, and more! Some of these may relate to or even contradict character backstory, and some of them are just pure vibes for me. If you like it, consider shooting a request ;)

-Norton had always been a moodier guy, but the mining accident (and the lack of mental and emotional support he received after it) resulted in a much more obvious split of his temperaments. Without trying to put a name to something I’m no expert in, Norton has two distinct personality states which are both aware of and inform one another. The First is the more common state, wherein he is more level-headed, but prone to melancholy and isolation. His melancholy tends to be more intense after an episode with his Second state, wherein he is very likely to exhibit anger, mania, and cynicism. Likewise, his Second state tends to be more critical when he’s been uneventfully mellow for a good while. He tries his best to balance and regulate the two, but this particular emotional roller coaster is one he never had any say in getting on and has never had any assistance getting off.

-The First state typically lasts longer than the Second, sometimes stretching several days at a time. During the First, he’s at his most amicable and chatty. This is the best time to get to know him as a person.

-When in his Second state, which is usually triggered by something that reminds him of the accident, it’s better to give him a wide berth. Even in the case of a friend or partner who has thick skin and handles harshness well, Norton can become hypercritical of himself for being cruel to them.

-His mother died in childbirth, leaving Norton with only his father, who also worked himself to an early grave. Norton had to start working immediately to keep himself fed (and sometimes didn’t even manage that) so he has next to no education. He does not read or write especially well. He is also not particularly tech savvy and struggles with new concepts. That said, he's never been one to back down from a chance to improve himself, difficult or otherwise.

-Norton was mostly genuine in his visits to the elderly and sick. Many of them were other miners and laborers who helped him find his footing after his dad died. Their help may not have amounted to much in the long run, but they didn’t just look the other way and he understood the loneliness they felt on their deathbeds.

-The one exception to this was Benny, who Norton had also once looked upon in an appreciative light…until he learned how to read. It was then that he scoured his father’s old letters and discovered an infuriating truth: after the birth of Norton and the death of his mother, his father had been about to leave the mining industry. Benny was the one who convinced him to stick around and join the obsessive hunt for gold. It was through a mix of spite and desperation that Norton decided to swindle Benny out of his maps and take the chance at riches for himself.

-Norton does not talk about the mining accident. At all. Not even if he’s paid. Part of it is self-preservation—since he IS the one who stole and illegally ignited the explosives. The other part is that he is well and truly wrecked with guilt. Norton did not get along with most of his coworkers in those final days, was bullied and harassed by them, but he wanted to get ahead of them, not kill them.

-Because he’s been self-reliant from such a young age, he’s naturally distrustful of other people. He has trouble accepting people at face value and often rejects compliments, and other words of affection. He’s the embodiment of “actions speak louder than words.” In general, if someone wants to get closer to Norton they have to put their money (and their labor) where their mouth is and show a lot of patience. Any genuine relationship with Norton is hard-won.

-In line with the above, the best love language to give Norton is Acts of Service. Physical Affection would also work well once you reach a certain threshold in his trust. Gift-Giving is a decent third, but you would need to tread lightly here, lest he start to see the budding relationship as purely transactional. Holidays and birthdays are the best time to really go in on gifts for Norton, since he has a harder time arguing bribery with culturally dictated gifts.

-He genuinely does not find himself to be attractive. I wouldn’t go so far as to say he’s insecure, as he really doesn’t think about it much, but he’s least likely to accept compliments about his appearance. The burn scars certainly don’t help. If you do compliment his appearance, it’s better not to mention the scars at all than to try and make him feel better about them.

-He wholly, genuinely, hates the rich. Which is obvious enough, I suppose, but I think it’s more extreme than people give him credit for. And really it just comes down to unadulterated jealousy and bitterness, which are not easy feelings to overcome.

-Norton is of the opinion that all life is equal—and when he’s at his most cynical, this means he’s willing to take the balance of “an eye for an eye” into his own hands.

-His sweet tooth is limited to donuts and a few other carb-y baked goods. He prefers savory flavors, or sometimes bitter, such as in the case of his black coffee. He doesn’t eat as much as you might expect for his size, but he always eats quickly, and hunched over his food like it’ll be taken away. Old habits die hard.

-He has a terrible sleep schedule, due in part to frequent nightmares about the accident. He’s also somewhat claustrophobic and dislikes pitch-black spaces, so a window is a must in his bedroom. He prefers to have it open whenever reasonable.

-He doesn’t do well with thunderstorms, as the rumbles of thunder sound too much like the beginnings of a cave-in.

-If he has one singular strength, it’s perseverance. Hardships don’t deter him because he’s seen and overcome plenty. He’s a loyal friend as well, once completely won over. If he cares for you, you’ll never have to tackle a hurdle alone.

[madeby-meru]

Jason Epsiode 9 Thoughts

Yesterday I played whatever I could of episode 9 on Jason's route and finished watching the rest on youtube, so I wanna share my thoughts (generally speaking tho, I actually enjoyed the episode! it was honestly refreshing after.... everything, lol)

beware of spoilers under the cut <3

Okay, this was quite surprising for me. From what I had spoiled myself already I could tell that I was going to like some things about the episode, but I was not expecting to feel overall so positive about it!

From the beginning, I personally really liked all the tidbits of the common route. I liked seeing Tasha and Zahra play cards (seeing their relationship and how close and friendly they seem, what they like, etc), and I also liked the time spent with the inters, they were fun and I generally enjoy seeing the MC interact with other characters. I did miss some more interaction with the other routes, I chose Thomas to work with and honestly it felt like he was barely even there :/ it would have been fun to see him more with the interns and talk about the project he was working on. I don't know, I like this type of "filler" stuff that tells you about the characters and how they act and interact with other people and in different situations, it makes them feel more 3d and real and I fell like this is something the game lacks a LOT. It's nice that we are very focused on our route from the get go cause we get many moments with them, but at the same time it makes the experience very isolating and you dont get to know anyone much besides your route (you also have way less chances to get affinity with other characters, which bothers me honestly, I don't like feeling "locked" with the LI i chose). It gets boring for me but I understand that's just preference and that many people prefer this, so I appreciated all the common route moments we had this episode.

Now, Jason.

God, I absolutely loved it, the more I think about it the more I like it. I liked getting to know more about him, I liked the vulnerable moments, the looks to the side, the sad face, the smidge of angst. The special scene was cute, he looked so soft and kind while keeping that playful air. I wish they had some more banter and more jokes but I liked how they interacted in this episode and how it seemed llike 2 actual adults subtly flirting and connecting. He was very charming here.

HOWEVER, I need to be honest and mentioned all the stuff I didn't like at all.

First of all, it really bothers me that in the spanish version the characters don't seem to have a defined speech style at all. The way Jason speaks sometimes feels SO weird and it doesn't fit him at all. It takes me out so much to hear him speak like that.

Then the writing is... ugh. It feels like it has not been proof read at all, so many repetitiveness? It takes me out of the story a lot and honestly, it feels poor quality and that it has little care put into it

And it really bothers me how they repeated AGAIN the whole "i have never seen him smiled genuinely like this" GIRL YOU DID ????? ON EPISODE 7 ????? YOU SAID THE SAME THING THEN ????? is anyone editing these dialogues be honest with me beemoov

Lastly, my biggest enemy this game: Ysaline

I really, REALLY, don't like her. It bothers me how utterly dramatic she is with the whole "deal with the devil" bullshit (and the amount of times this sentence has been repeated is so obnoxious, we GET IT, be original ffs). Specially cause what the actual fuck has this man done for you to antagonize him and judge him so much? 5 random people that you knew for 2 days told you he was bad and you ran with it, girl have some actual thoughts of your own and stop judging people you know shit about.

Because I am seriously asking, what has Jason done to be "THE DEVIL"? Work hard? Cause that's all I have seen.

(And where did that episode 5 stuff with the "You owe me a favor now" go ???? did everyone forget about this ???? this "deal with the devil" bullshit again ???? I was expecting this to be a relevant line but we are going on episode 10 and I only hear crickets, it has't even been mentionned I really hate how utterly disconnected the episodes feel and how we have literally no plot)

And god Ysaline gave me so much second hand embarassment when she kept accusing him og using Tasha to spy on Devenementiel ????? GIRL? First of all, you are the new hire of a 7 people company, what the fuck would your 16 year old sister have ???? Devenementiel doesnt even have confidential information why would Jason even CARE. This was EMBARASSING.

Also, Jason telling her that he motivated Tasha by telling her that Ysa would be better ?????? Bro what makes you think that, all you have seen of this woman is her being an absoute mess, doing the most stupid and ridicuous bullshit, NOT WORKING (miss girl was out strolling around the city looking for apartments during work hours, she barely even worked that day), and not being able to even organize a damn birthday party. What about this woman is capable or competent? Aren't you supposed to hate incompetent people? hm?

I really mean this but these two have so little chemistry that is DRY as a desert I don't understand what Jason could see in her cause everything we know about the character would point to him disliking her. In his route what would make sense is for Ysalinne to be super hard working person, someone competitive and very focused on her work that takes her professional life seriously. THAT is someone that I can see Jason liking and somewhat admiring and wanting by his side.

Anyway, tldr: I liked this episode, I hope we get more like this, I hope Ysaline grows the fuck up and I hope we have more fun banter and jokes and flirting instead of creepyness <3

[bridgertonandchocolate]

Here’s how you know I was disappointed with Bridgerton season 3 part 2: I’ve rewatched it one time. I went through a second time on Thursday but just did Polin moments. I rewatched it yesterday. And I don’t have a great desire to rewatch it more times. Which is very unlike me. Since I rewatched part 1 every single day between May 16 and June 13. Sometimes multiple times a day. Just on repeat.

I’ve heard and seen some people saying that they cut a massive amount of Polin from what was originally done. I don’t know the validity of this but if it’s true all of the things I was expecting to see as I watched it is what they supposedly cut out.

Honestly I don’t know why we’re cutting key pieces of the main couple. And it would’ve been elemental to their arc. The episodes were long but I don’t see why they couldn’t have sacrificed other unnecessary storylines or just made the episode longer. I don’t mind longer episodes.

Better yet if there’s so much they want to include and they want all these evolving stories here’s some options:

1. Put out more than 8 episodes. 10-12 or 13 is fine and definitely enough time to flesh things out.

2. Make the episodes much longer as I already mentioned.

3. Make the show truly an ensemble show and don’t have a main focus.

I get why there is a main couple but it felt like there wasn’t this season. I feel bad for Luke and Nicola who put their hard work and whole souls into filming this and I think a lot of what they referenced during promo was ultimately cut. I can’t imagine putting myself out there in an intimacy scene and doing it for hours on end for a day or two and them being like never mind we’re not going to include this part now. Like what a waste. Like I got naked and simulated sex and you’re just gonna cut it? Okay.

I think they overhyped it because they knew people would be disappointed.

Ive seen some people say this season was awful. I don’t think it was awful or the worst. It was okay. But it could’ve been way better. I think as I rewatch more I’ll be able to appreciate it for what it is (hopefully). They tried to do too much and they ended up not doing the main couple enough justice and people didn’t get what they were expecting or wanting.

I know that they’re returning for season 4 but I’ve lost trust in the writers so I’m going to have to dampen expectations and lower that bar to the floor.

[hearts4yawnzzn]

His Poison // 1

pairing: jung gi-cheol x fem!oc

genre: friends to lovers

word count: 1.7k

warnings: Blood, guns, knifes, broken bones, slight nsfw, death, injuries (severe and non-severe), drugs, smoking, burning/burn marks, torture, gore, violence did i miss anything?

A/N: I honestly don’t know how to feel about this but I wrote it as soon as I could! I will start to follow the drama plot on the second plot but please let me know what you think of this one!! <3

LIKES AND REBLOGS APPRECIATED!

Stepping outside of the airport, the cold breeze engulfed her as she looked around for a vacant taxi.

Since she was coming from Japan, Yuna had no idea how the taxi system in Korea worked, and frankly, she didn't care. What matters is reaching her apartment studio without any delays.

There was one downside for her when it came to living in South Korea—her father.

Hate is a strong word to describe how she felt about him, but it wasn’t enough. In fact, she despised him.

Back when she lived with her parents in Japan, her mother was sent to a hospital and fell into a coma due to the treatment she had gotten from her father.

And when it was just him and Yuna, he was very harsh on her. He was using every violent move against her and calling it ‘discipline’ from broken bones, and bruises littering her body to scars that have permanently imprinted into her body.

But when she turned 18 he kicked her out. Yuna didn’t mind being kicked out, she was relieved to have gotten away from him. 2 weeks before leaving Japan, she had heard from her colleagues about her father’s living state in Korea, but now that she had moved to Korea at the age of 25, she was praying to not run into him at any cost.

Shaking her head and dismissing herself from the thoughts of her father, Yuna walked up to a random taxi and knocked on the window.

She had asked the driver if the taxi was occupied. When she saw him shake his head she hopped in, relaying the location of her apartment studio and sending him a quick nod.

The ride to her apartment studio was quiet, but she hadn't expected this much traffic to arise in Gangnam, which is why the sound of honking cars would break the silence between the driver and herself.

Being nearly stuck in the same spot for almost twenty minutes, Yuna let out a deep breath as she leaned over to the driver. “I don’t think we’ll move anytime soon.” she pulled out the expected amount of the fare and handed it over to the driver. “Thanks for the ride.”

The sound of the taxi’s door slamming loudly was muffled by the commotion around her. Yuna took in a deep breath as she looked around her, beautiful wasn’t the exact word to describe Gangnam, maybe cool and amazing?

The city was alive, full of lights and people everywhere despite it being a weekday.

Walking away from the road, Yuna started walking around and asking vendors about the location of the street she needed to go to.

She stuffed her hands in her pockets and zipped up her jacket, comfortably walking through the streets without a care in the world.

Yuna had heard about the crimes that occurred in Gangnam, from the killing and torture to the stealing and kidnapping. But she didn’t care, she knew she could take care of herself and that’s all that mattered.

As she was walking, a crash could be heard from the depths of an alley. It was a bad idea to check it out, that’s how everyone dies in a horror movie.

But this wasn’t a horror movie.

Yuna mentally shrugged and walked over to where the commotion was heard, once she neared the scene, she hid behind a trash bin and watched everything happen.

Three men were ganging up on one man, quite literally beating him to a pulp.

The man was on the floor, holding his stomach as the three looked down on him. Each of them was smirking as one of them knelt to the man’s level and looked him in the eye, he said something Yuna couldn’t catch as he stood up once more.

“Tell you boss-” he kicked him harshly, “To give me-” another kick, “My fucking money back!” the last kick sounded bad, something in the man’s body could be heard breaking as Yuna grimaced slightly.

She could clearly see the guy’s face from her position, and she already hated the way he looked as he had an annoying vibe to him. That was enough for her to beat the shit out of him.

The sound of a knife being unsheathed immediately caught her attention and she locked her eyes on the sharp piece of metal.

She loudly scoffed and stepped out of her hiding spot, biting her cheek and looking the man up and down with a clear look of disgust.

“I thought you were a mouse… But from the way you’re acting, you’re definitely a fucking rat.” Yuna cleared her throat and stepped forward, stepping over the guy on the ground as she took out her hands from her pockets, crossing them.

The guy looked at her in disbelief, letting out a short laugh as he pointed to her, “The fuck is she saying? Are you insane?” he asked his friends sarcastically and pushed her by her shoulder.

“Are you a slut?” he asked her and stepped forward, Yuna didn’t move. “Because you’re surely dressed like one.”

Shuffling could be heard behind her, she assumed the man on the ground had gotten up.

“What the fuck did you just say?” Her tone was cold as it pierced through the atmosphere if making her angry was his idea then he had succeeded.

He pushed her again. “Are-” another Push, “You-” another push, “A slut?” The last push sent her slightly stumbling back, but the body of someone behind her prevented her from falling.

Not wasting a second, she quickly took a step towards him and raised her leg, kicking him back successfully, her foot slamming against his chest as he ended up on the floor.

Yuna looked at the guy’s friends before looking back at him. “Say that again. I dare you.”

“What the hell is this bitch’s problem?” both men sneered at her as they approached her, getting ready to grab her, but someone was quicker.

Yuna was pulled back in the blink of an eye, a hand firmly resting on her shoulder as she was pulled behind the man.

And again, she couldn't see his face.

From Yuna’s perspective, she wasn’t protecting him. That asshole had her pissed off just by the look on his face and the way he talks.

She watches the man as he slowly approaches the three men, their bodies stiffened and their eyes widen as they stare at him. Was the look on his face that scary?

Yuna didn’t speak up as she watched the scene unfold, the man who was on the ground a few moments ago was actually kicking their asses.

She took a step back and crossed her arms, raising a brow at the man’s sudden courage.

A few moments later, all three men were bloodied up and bruised as he sent a final blow to the leader’s face, his fist connecting with his jaw.

Yuna slightly grimaced as she definitely heard something crack, but shook it off as the look on her face turned to amusement as she saw the two guys carrying their leader away. She broke out into a fit of laughter.

“You’ll fucking pay for this!”

“Don’t think our big boss won't find out!!”

Their threats were meaningless.

Her breath slightly hitched as the silence took over. Was this it? Will she finally see the face of the man she ‘defended’?

All of her questions would be answered if he just fucking turned around.

And so he did, breathing heavily as he approached her, and for the first time in her life, Yuna was stunned.

She didn't know how to describe him.

Handsome? Smoking hot? Pretty? Serious? Cold?

She couldn't fit them into a good description.

Which had her wondering, ‘If this is what he looks like, then what the hell does he sound like?’

But when she realized he wouldn't stop walking towards her she tensed up, is he gonna beat the shit out of her because she got involved?

“Thanks.”

What?

Yuna gulped harshly, nodding as she stepped back.

“Do I get to know the identity of the person who defended me? Or are you gonna label yourself as a passerby?”

Another gulp. Closing your mouth which she hadn’t even noticed was slightly open, Yuna cleared her throat as she spoke up.

“Depends, am I gonna have to waste my time if I give you my name?” a chuckle left his lips, and he hung his head before bringing it back up, gently biting his tongue.

“I’d have to know more about your skill before I decide that.”

Yuna scoffed, was he teasing her and wasting her time even more? She didn't care, but that handsome face of his annoys the shit out of her.

“Do you have a job yet?” he asked, hands now stuffed in his pockets. Despite how bad those guys fucked him up, he didn't show any signs of pain.

She shrugs, “Still looking, even the best jobs don't even pay minimum wage.” she was infuriated that, most of these jobs were owned by greedy old men who were probably perverts too.

“Work for me.”

She raised an eyebrow at his question, “Excuse me?”

“You heard me. Work for me and I'll make sure you’ll get much more than minimum wage.”

Truth to be told, she was tempted. Yet again, he was a complete stranger, so she needed to play her cards right.

“What’s in it for me?” he scoffed, walking one step closer as he shrugged, “What do you want?”

Yuna stopped, her teeth gritted as she stopped breathing for a few moments, her hands clenched into fists as she glared at him. Why was she glaring? No one has ever asked her what she wants, only her mother did.

“To kill someone.”

“Then how far are you willing to go?” he asks her with a straight face after backing her into a wall, a couple of inches of space between them. He stretches out his hand for her to take, if she takes it then he has his answer. Yuna stares at him with a puzzled expression before taking his hand in a tight grip, slightly shaking it as he tightens his grip on her hand and pulls her towards him. her breath hitches, but she doesn’t falter.

“As far as it takes.”

He smiles victoriously, letting go of her hand as he finally introduces himself.

“Jung Gi-Cheol, pleasure.”

“Kang Yuna, likewise.”

[lynnlovesspidahman]

this is me trying.

peter parker x reader

part 2. || part 1.

masterlist.

warnings : angst, mentions of violence, swearing, lots of self-doubt (peter im sorry)

word count : 2.7k

summary : There’s always two sides to a story. An apology is put into place.

Peter felt like he was living three different lives at once.

Each taking so, so much energy every single day.

His job, an assistant for Dr. Octavius at Octavius Industries. He felt guilty for arriving late every day, and still somehow having a job.

Peter was smarter than Doc, they both knew that. So that meant he would be called to office very, very often.

Usually because of some mistake Doc had made while working on the new prototypes of prosthetic limbs.

But the pressure it brought could get to be too much sometimes. One small mistake could cost millions of lives — or dollars — if not noticed early enough.

But he knew it would help the world someday, in so many ways. The exhaustion was totally worth it.

Spider-Man. Peter had loved and genuinely enjoyed playing his alter-ego.

Constantly, day and night, he was out. Out saving people everywhere. Sure, his work wasn’t appreciated by everyone but it was 100% worth it — to him.

But Spider-Man came with considerable costs. His everlasting lack of sleep. Peter can’t remember the last time he really got his 8 hours. The bags under his eyes made that apparent enough.

The physicality of the job, how many times had he stopped a car with his bare hands? He lost count years ago.

The bruises, cuts, broken limbs, brought immense pain, even to Spider-Man. Sure, he can heal faster — a nights rest, a heating pad, and your some soup is more than enough — But that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

And the emotional weight it brought.

The crimes haven’t slowed, if anything they’ve gotten much more prominent all around the city.

The overwhelming amount of times he has to swing across New York to fight off large groups of thugs has become too much.

And honestly, he’s so sick of it.

And so, Peter stopped pulling his punches as much.

The guilt didn’t come until later.

He climbed through your apartment’s window after a long, long night of patrol.

You were sitting there — unaware of his presence— watching TV, all cuddled up on the corner of the couch with your mini Spidey plush.

“Hey, beautiful.” He called out to you.

“Holy shit-” You jumped and turned around to look at him. “You can’t just pop out of nowhere like that, you scared the hell out of me.”

You got up and walked towards him, “Was patrol okay?”

“Uh, yeah it was alright, kicked my ass tonight though. I’m worn out,” He stretched his arms above his head.

“Hm. Why?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Uhm, I mean I fought bad guys all night?” He scoffed, a stupid question, he thought.

“Or was it because you practically killed someone tonight?” You bluntly said.

You had taken a step away from him, like he was a danger to you too.

“They were a criminal!” He shrugged.

“Why does that matter? You can’t just completely take someone’s life away. That’s not who you are. Before you say you didn’t, you came real close to.” You stood your position.

It felt like you shot him straight in the heart.

He should’ve listened to you. But instead, he took a shot right back at you, a shot to kill.

“Again, they’re criminals. I’m sorry I had to calm things down somehow. I’m sorry I needed to do something to catch a break for once in my damn life. And you’re not exactly helping that.” He looked away from you. He felt ashamed.

You were right, he knew that, even then. But his pride couldn’t let him admit it.

“What is wrong with you? You love Spider-Man. And you always talk about how killing sickens you. You’ve changed, Peter.” You spat back at him.

He should’ve just ended it there, stopped the excessive violence, stopped the fight. Maybe then he wouldn’t have been in your kitchen on that faithful Tuesday.

It had been two days since that argument.

His almost perfect rep was officially ruined (Jameson had a field trip that day, too). The stress was at an all-time high.

He almost couldn’t handle it. He didn’t want to anymore.

He was still so angry at you for being right. Because you always were.

You were the one who kept him balanced, who took care of him no matter the time of day or night.

He hadn’t been back to your apartment since the fight, either.

But he would return to it after a tough night the day after. And the next.

And you forgave him, so fast (He took you to see the Barbie movie, paid for every snack and drink you could’ve wanted. It was indisputable on your end). The guilt from what Peter’s put you through has just stacked on and on.

Now he really couldn’t handle it anymore. 

And so, there he was. Sat atop a random rooftop rethinking everything.

He debated his life. His three lives, more like. Which parts were worth it, and which weren’t. (It was really fucked up, who measures parts of their life in worth and just decides which to throw away?)

He couldn’t lose his job, how would he make money?

He couldn’t stop being Spider-Man, he knew that.

And there was you. The biggest and undoubtedly the most important part.

But you were also easy to throw away, he thought.

So much stress and time would be lifted off of his shoulders.

(Little did he know, it would be the complete opposite. His injuries didn’t heal all the way like they did when you took care of him. Every time he was hurt, it would linger for days at a time. He missed how much you’d worried for him. He really took you for granted.)

And so, he decided in the next couple of weeks, he would break it off.

And he did. On the Tuesday the following week.

He looks back on it — to this day — and realized everything he had said to you that evening, wasn’t directed at you. It was directed at himself.

Of course he enjoyed loving you. He didn’t enjoy being himself was what.

He needed to be his best for you because he couldn’t be with anything else. He failed at being the friendly and reliable Spider-man. Him and Doc didn’t get the grant they’d been needing for so long.

And when he did try to improve when you called him out that night, it just wasn’t enough.

He didn’t deserve you.

He took everything out on you, he didn’t mean a word he said. But you didn’t know that.

Peter never had an outlet to take anything out. He couldn’t leave you with every burden of his life, Doc and him weren’t that close, and May couldn’t know he was Spider-Man.

He snapped that Tuesday.

And there’s nothing more that he regrets in his entire life.

But he couldn’t burden you anymore. He wouldn’t.

He did nothing but keep you up late at night, hurt your feelings, and make you do everything for him.

Peter loved you. And he couldn’t let himself torture you like this.

So he forced himself to let you go. You would move on, anyways. He couldn’t.

He listened to every single one of the voicemails you sent.

Every. Single. One. He’s never heard you sound so down (Because of him, nonetheless).

It took so much out of him to not respond. More than what he had to give.

And after five weeks, he finally caved.

He texted you.

9:52 PM

Hey, beautiful.

You wouldn’t forgive him quick this time, he knew that. This time wasn’t just some fight. He tore your heart apart.

But he would work for your forgiveness, he swore to himself, God as his witness.

You read the message immediately. He knew you had gotten off of work, so it wasn’t completely abnormal.

But you didn’t respond. He checked his phone all night and the next morning (He was desperate for something, even if it was an angry text. He hated nothing more than you ignoring him).

So he texted you again. He just went straight for it this time, no holding back anymore.

1:16 PM

Can we meet up?? I think we can agree there’s still some loose ends we need to revisit, together.

Read 1:18 PM

He was patient this time. He tried stepping in your shoes, and it broke his heart. He couldn’t imagine you snapping on him like he had.

He couldn’t live if you were angry at him like he was at you. And if you weren’t going to respond again he was debating on just showing up to your apartment. Can’t ignore him that way.

2:12 PM

Y/N 💞 : “Loose ends” is a funny term. You mean when you randomly showed up to my apartment and broke up with me for the stupidest reason?

He cringed. This was a dumb decision.

2:12 PM

I know, trust me. I just want to talk. And explain myself.

Explain my biggest mistake. I’ve never regretted anything more than leaving you and taking the anger at myself onto you.

He debated on sending the message, but he didn’t.

You would just see it as him trying kiss your ass into forgiving him. It worked before.

2:14 PM

Y/N 💞 : Peter, why? Why are you only just know texting me? Why are you trying to meet up when you tore my heart into pieces? Why are you seeking forgiveness randomly?

Why are you asking such hard questions, he wanted to ask.

2:14 PM

Idk, I miss you?

I miss you and still love you. I regret that night so much.

Can you just hear me out? Please?

Nothing sounded right. But he just went for it, again. At this point, he was pacing across his rooftop, anxious for your response (If you even gave him one).

2:15 PM

Y/N 💞 : Peter, I swear. If you make me regret this, I’ll come for you. Worse than any enemy you’ve ever faced and ever will.

He laughed at that one. You wouldn’t —right?—

2:15 PM

I won’t, Y/N. I promise. Tomorrow, Micks at 3?

Read 2:16 PM

You left him on read, but he counted that as a success — you didn’t refuse his offer so.. —

He would come back from this. He has to.

Peter was late. Fuck him.

Why did you even give him your time of day anymore? This man could tear you apart and you still gave into his words.

3:13 PM

Peter 🕸️ : Babt, I’mso sotry. I got caugjt up with worl, I’m bloxks away I sqaer.

You could barely understand him, but you were used to his usually proper grammar slipping while he was swinging.

How dare he? How dare he beg you to come out here and he gets to show up late??

He practically busted the restaurant’s door open. He rushed to your table.

“Baby I-”

“No,” You interrupted. “You don’t get to call me that. Fuck you, asshole. You ask me to meet you and you show up late? Are you kidding me?” You crossed your arms and stood up from the booth you were sitting at.

“Y/N, I’m so, so sorry. I got caught up with Doc at work. Huuge internal wiring problem. I don’t even understand how he could’ve messed it up so badly,” He talked with his hands, he was so cute when he did that.

You took a step towards him, and slapped the shit out of his stupidly attractive face.

“You don’t get to break me and show up late when you wanted me here.” The tears were back. You were livid. You shoved your finger into his face as you scolded him.

“I know, I know. I keep fucking up and I’m sorry. Lets just sit down and let me explain everything. I promise you, it’s worth it.” He put his hands on both of your shoulders to keep you from leaving and tried to calm you down.

“Hands off,” You pulled his hands away from your shoulder and slumped back into the booth.

You wanted to go home.

“Okay, okay.” He sat down and stared at you.

“Well?” You waited, “Let’s hear this explanation,” You rolled your eyes.

“Well, uh-” He paused for a moment, “I don’t know how to start.”

You waited for him to continue, arms still crossed. You really didn’t want to hear him out.

“Do you remember when I almost beat the life outta that guy? Like a month ago or something?” He asked.

“Yeah.” You rolled your eyes again, not exactly a good moment to bring up.

“I feel like that’s where it started,”

“Mhm..” You nodded for him to keep going.

“I started slipping. I stopped pulling my punches and I was so stressed out every moment of my life. A-and one day I just got so sick of it,” He started choking up, you almost felt bad for him.

“So I sat down and tried to organize my life. I wanted to rid myself of stress and try to free up time for myself in order to y’know, rejuvenate.”

You sat there, you were expecting plain excuses. But it seemed he had something real going here.

“I couldn’t rid myself of my job — how else would I be able to live? — and obviously Spider-Man isn’t a choice. And there came you. The best and biggest part of my life.”

You raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.

“I was stupid, I thought that by taking a break, I’d feel more free. And feel more.. well less stressed out. If I had something to myself then I would be better and feel okay? I don’t know.”

You narrowed your eyes at him.

“Don’t look at me like that, please. I was so overwhelmed with everything. I’ve been so behind on rent, and crime just never stops around here. Its like it raises more and more every week.”

“I thought-” He took a deep breath, “I thought that if I had one less chore — trust me you are not a chore to me — life would get easier.”

You’re guessing he tried to rephrase his words he said before, he’s almost repeating himself.

“But it didn’t. At all. I was in pain all the time — emotionally and physically — it didn’t help at all. I said I didn’t enjoy loving you. I lied. I didn’t enjoy loving myself- or being me.”

Your heart clenched for him. He hurt you so bad, but hearing how he truly felt made you slightly reconsider things.

“I didn’t enjoy the stress of my life, and I don’t have any outlet for my anger. And you forgave me so easily the last time we fought. And I guess I took advantage of that. I took all of the hate I had for myself onto you. I think that will forever be my biggest mistake.”

Your eyebrows scrunched.

“I love you. So much, Y/N. More than words can describe. I’ve never regretted anything more in my life and I can’t ever be away from you, again.”

“I broke it off thinking it would cause me less stress, but I understand now that it was you who took the pressure away. Being away from you, Y/N,” He laughed (At his own pain, seemingly). “I’ve never felt shittier in my life.”

Your tears flowed. Your expectations were well exceeded. He’s fucked up so much, but he makes up for it every time. And this time, it wasn’t done by kissing your ass and spoiling you, you recognized that.

“I can’t explain how sorry I am. I regret what I did to you that night so much. More than anything in the world. I just hope you can understand that.”

“I hope you can understand me.” He kept eye contact, his eyes were watery. “I know how complicated I can get,” He let out a breathy laugh.

“Pete.” You just about whispered his name.

“Yeah..?” He wiped his eyes on his sleeve before answering you.

“I forgive you.” You smiled, still crying from his well thought out (you had to give him credit) apology.

“Wait- Really?”

“Yeah. I do.”

He stood up and hugged you from across the table.

“But..”

“But..?” He repeated you, curiously. He let go of the hug to look you in the eyes.

“You’re gonna have to pay for the meal if you really want me back.”

He laughed.

“I love you.”

He grabbed your cheeks and pulled you in for a kiss. He’s never kissed you so hard.

Stunned, but pleasantly surprised, you sat there for a moment. Unsure of whether you should kiss him or not.

But you grabbed his collar and melted into the kiss.

No matter how hard he had broken you, his words brought you back to him.

And you wouldn’t regret it, you knew that.

part 2 is finished 🥹

just wanna explain a few things just in case:

peter is a lil ooc w the excessive violence and it’s not him to be like that but i feel like every body gets to that point where everything can be just too much. even spider-man.

i also feel like he needs a healthy outlet for his feelings, being spiderman, he’s constantly busy. not exactly easy to make friends. but also being spiderman, he doesn’t wanna leave y/n with all of his problems, he’s supposed to be the hero. so he bottles it all up. to the point where he just burst one day and took it out on her. (not good!!)

also i felt like him being a man, he’s going to feel insecure if y/n’s the one taking care of him all the time. he’s the man, it’s supposed to be the other way around, but it’s not. and that’s okay!! often times, old traditions still lies deep within all of us. men’s mental health matters too!! men can still feel insecure!! EVERYONE DOES. but that doesn’t mean we (as people) can take out our insecurities or anger at ourselves onto other people. most times, they don’t deserve the hate we bring onto ourselves.

that being said, not everyone can be perfect. (peter is a great example) we’re all going through something in life and are constantly being tested. but, the biggest thing is to always persevere no matter what. you’re never going to have more on your plate than you can handle. if you’re struggling, always remember to reach out to someone. a loved one, a professional, or even me. my dms are always open. i love you all. 🩷

anyways,

likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated!!

i hope you all enjoyed this story as much as i liked writing it 💗💗

[trashytoastboi]

Could you do a scenario with s/o smacks shanks, ace and kid's butt? I saw my sister do that to her boyfriend and his funny expressions just made me laugh.

Heyya🍀 sure thing! Terribly sorry for the long wait on this. Honestly was pretty funny imagining how the boys would react. Hope you enjoy~🍞

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Gender Neutral)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Headcanons: S/O smacks Shanks, Ace and Kid's butt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shanks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

☠ Shanks was lost in thought, looking at the map and stack of bounty posters. He near drove himself into a headache with how many things were going around in his head right now. His attention so focused that nothing else around him existed. Including {Name} who had been trying to call him for a while. Shanks just rubbed his temples, a heavy sigh escaping lips and {Name} deciding on a more effective attention grabber.

☠ {Name} gave up on trying to distract him with conventional means. They pondered over what they should do and walked around. Turning to see how Shanks leaned his weight on the table and his ass stood out quite prominently. Now {Name} didn't mean to sound like a pervert but they could appreciate that Shanks has some cake. They shook their heads and shooed away the thoughts of a potential plan.

☠ Well the opportunity presented itself, it would be a real shame to give it up without having done anything. Shanks hummed and sighed, {Name} didn't even need to sneak about, they easily stood behind him. Still debating whether or not they should do it. They raised their hand, even aimed for the best landing position and smacked Shanks' ass.

☠ The sudden impact earned {Name} his undivided attention. He couldn't help but blush, one would think there wasn't much that could surprise one of emperors of sea...and yet, realizing he enjoyed the feeling of having his ass slapped by his partner definitely qualified.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Portgas D. Ace

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

🔥 Ace had a penchant for using his devil fruit powers for occasionally stupid things. One of those things being; heating his hand up slightly and smacking {Name} on the butt, then proceeding to make some kind of pun about toasted buns. The point remains that {Name} had something they deemed worthy of payback, a simple case of tit for tat. In this case, slap for smack.

🔥 It was serious, they practiced sneaking up on people to perfect the most optimal and unexpected conditions. To truly surprise Ace, so much so he would have never seen it coming. Even when he continued his little pranks, {Name} reacted in a more docile manner, utilizing the utmost patience in preparation for the perfect moment to strike.

🔥 Ace stares out into the sea, unknown whether he's brooding or reminiscing. His gaze stared into the empty ocean while his mind occupied with the thoughts. A stoic expression, unaware of {Name} who snuck up perfectly. Only two steps behind him with bated breath, they readied themselves and with the right amount of power they executed the most perfect slap to Ace's ass.

🔥 The loud sound that resounded from the swat could have been enough to startle a man, should have been enough to startle Ace... although he was far too concerned over the fact that he moaned. MOANED. Both of them stood there in silence, reeling from an instant before when Ace let out a loud and very melodic moan over the smack. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eustass Kid

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

🛠 Kid felt an ache in his back from being hunched over for the last few hours. Fiddling away with some new component that did this and that, he tried to explain the concept behind its mechanism which flew over everyone's heads. He finally stood up, stretching out and trying to loosen the taut muscles. {Name} had been watching this, intrigued to see how delicately Kid could work when his focus was on something, it really is a fascinating sight to see the large man so full of finesse.

🛠 {Name} stared in awe at his muscular back, a treat for the eyes they would say in compliment for the feisty captain. They knew how it felt to be hugged by him and didn't hold a real curiosity towards how his muscles felt, not like the random people who wanted to squeeze Kid's biceps every once in a while. However, they did hold curiosity towards a different part and wondered about Kid's butt. An odd thought but {Name} is a curious being who often acted on these curiosities.

🛠 Without any pretense, no ceremony nor preparation they simply stepped forward and smacked Kid, right on the ass. It wasn't hard or meant to elicit any kind of reaction, it was just a casual well meaning smack on the backside.

🛠 Kid is confused... in fact so confused that he couldn't even get angry. "Did you just slap my ass?" He already knew but maybe a confirmation of reality. A need to know that he didn't imagine what happened 30 seconds prior. "Yeah, I was curious about how it would feel." Kid doesn't even reply, he's honestly too flabbergasted and after a few minutes of silence between them "And?... how did it feel?" He queries, wanting to know about their thoughts. "Hmmm, squishier than I expected."

[demiaroacejadeharley]

This post contains some spoilers from The Amazing Digital Circus. This post also contains critiques in regard to Vivziepop, Helluva Boss, and Hazbin Hotel. Vivziepop stans (as in the people who defend her work and her as a person) are not allowed to interact with me. Any Vivziepop fan who sends me asks (especially Anon asks) will be deleted. Any fans who DM me will have their message deleted and will be blocked. Finally, anyone who screenshots this post and makes a post tagging me in it to defending Vivziepop will be blocked.

I'm not trying to get people to harass Vivziepop and harass anyone who is a fan of her. And I'm not trying to stop people from supporting Vivziepop and not trying to make people feel bad about supporting her either. Watch whatever you want. Take this post with a grain of salt. And if you get somewhat upset with the criticisms I have for Vivziepop, then that's your problem.

Vivziepop antis and critical fans are allowed to interact.

Earlier today, I watched The Amazing Digital Circus, and these are my final thoughts.

Honestly, the pilot was really good, and I'm looking forward to it finally becoming a full-fledged series. And I'm looking forward to it expanding the Lore as well. I'm curious as to how Pomni got trapped there in the first place and other stuff like the void and the exit door thing.

What I appreciate it is that it didn't need copious amounts of swearing, unlike other comedy web series like Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss. There were swears, but they were more spread out and brief on top of the swears being censored.

Even though Gooseworx has worked with Vivziepop in the past, I find TADC to be leagues better than HH and HB. I've seen a video about the drama surrounding Gooseworx, but from what I've seen,the stuff they have done is much more tame than the shit Vivziepop has pulled.

I hope to see more Amazing Digital Circus content to come out in the future. I'm interested as to see where the series will go. Unlike Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss, it didn't feel like I was watching something that felt like it was created by an edgy middle schooler. The female characters had much more personality than the ones from HH and HB, despite it being just a pilot.

Another thing to point out is that the cast of TADC had a lot of fresh faces to the voice acting industry, unlike Hazbin and Helluva Boss, where Vivziepop relied on casting big name actors in order to garner more attention to her work. And I'm going to be fully honest, I find it really sus at the fact that the OG cast of HH couldn't return because they didn't unionize in order to get their roles back. A lot of them were fully new to the industry, too, which is the sad part. I wish that Vivziepop wouldn't rely on hiring big-name actors in her work and would hire people who are very new to the voice acting scene who are desperate to land a role as some of them rely on voice acting as their main source of income.

To end this post, I just want to point out that I'm not blaming Vivziepop for the fact that the original cast of Hazbin Hotel didn't get their roles back. But at the same time, that whole situation feels questionable to me. Until I hear the full story about it, then I'll decide if she should be held accountable or not. However, the whole hiring big actors thing has been a critique of mine for a while on top of the use of the r slur in Helluva Boss (even though it was only said once and was almost again, it shouldn't have been used at all as it's an ableist slur and I'm a disabled person who has been called the r slur many times in the past). I'm fully aware that HB takes place in hell, but using hell as a way to excuse the use of the r slur is ableist. It's still ableist to call someone the r slur regardless of the setting and the context. The r slur should never be used as a way to call someone stupid. I'm not sure if Vivziepop wrote the script herself, but whoever is in charge of the script should be careful of the type of language they use in the show. I'm fully aware that both Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel are adult shows, but it doesn't mean it's an excuse to normalize offensive and bigoted language. It doesn't help that the shows poorly portray women (like how Millie is just reduced to being Moxxie's wife and likes killing) even though the creator of both shows is a woman.

I'm just gonna stop here for now. I'm going to go back to waiting for more Amazing Digital Circus content to come out.

[barbwritesstuff]

This thing about your English teacher and undiagnosed dyslexia. I really wish people would stop comparing ones understanding of one's language to one's ability to tell a good story. One of my favorite authors, and historical role model, H.C Andersen (ugly duckling, little mermaid, etc.) also struggled and his original book are apparently filled will grammatical errors and everything, BUT he was a great storyteller which is why he succeeded. And I think you are as awesome as him.

I don't know if I have dyslexia or not, but the thing is, I was very behind at the time. I was 14, and I could not spell very basic words. I had no understanding of phonics, and very little grasp of grammar. I needed help and I didn't get it from this teacher. She said 'this kid can't spell' and bumped me out of her class so she didn't have to deal with it.

It's been 16 years. I'm still bitter about it.

I think teachers have a huge amount of power and some of them don't realise that, or just don't care. I have been a teacher now, and I know it's not always an easy job, but this particular teacher failed in that moment. She identified I needed help and didn't do anything to help me.

And, last year, when I was tutoring, I saw a lot of kids that were just as behind as I was. It's not a rare thing.

I don't know if it's a medical thing or not, but languages are hard for me, I learn them slowly and I still struggle a lot with things like spelling. But, I love storytelling, and so I write. This is why I really, really appreciate the help when people point out typos or mistakes in my work, and also why I'm reluctant to self publish (because I know I need a lot of editing and editors cost money).

I am really grateful for writing because if I didn't have this passion I genuinely think I'd still be spelling the way I was when I was 14. I never got the help I needed in my new class, so if I hadn't been interested or self motivated then I think I probably wouldn't have progressed much beyond that point.

Also. Computer. Typing. There are heaps of words I can't spell if you give me a pencil and paper, but my fingers know the patterns, so I can type them.

This post is getting long. I'm sorry. I really appreciate the encouragement, anon. Honestly, it's something I've felt self conscious of for a very long time. I don't think I'm naturally geared towards writing or language, but I just love telling stories, and so I keep doing it. At the end of the day, I think I've learnt that that persistence matters a hell of a lot more.

[kestrel-bee]

I just finished ISAT, and. Wow. I am in shambles after Act 5 holy FRICK

Okay, now that I’m done, time to dump all of my thoughts out at once, because I NEED to talk about this game holy crap

(spoilers abound from this point, don’t read if you are interested in playing for yourself)

(CW for discussing religion-related struggles with sexuality, if that’s something that bugs ya)

Okay, for starters, I just want to talk about how well executed this game is.

The gameplay was interesting and not too hard to understand while still being unique and fun, the illustrations and art style was really cute and charming, the character designs are recognizable yet creative, the writing is entertaining and made me love all of the characters in a very quick fashion, and the story overall was just FANTASTIC.

Literally my only complaint is that i had a tricky time adjusting to how sensitive the controls were when walking. Maybe it works better on desktop, but I was playing on the Steam Deck, and the only other platform I can play on is Mac, which this game does not support.

But honestly this ended up being a nonissue, I figured it out pretty quickly and after an hour or so I had the controls down to pat.

I also love how they handled the concept of a time loop, and the slow descent of Siffrin’s mental downfall. The way he started getting so desperate at the end, clinging to every scrap of hope he could find was heart wrenching.

Act 5 was KILLER, omg, I was so wrecked over it I had to take a break to calm down 😭

It’s not often a piece of media evokes THIS much emotion out of me, holy crud.

To talk about some of the characters,

I LOVE me some found family fluff, and boy oh boy was I fed, they’re so wholesome, they’re all so skrunkly 😭

I loved the little snippets of representation in these characters, with Odile being mixed race and attempting to connect to her roots, and Isabeau’s very trans-coded backstory. And yk, the multitude of gays and lesbians throughout the game XD

Even though that kind of representation doesn’t resonate with me personally, I still like to see it.

But oh man, Mirabelle’s cutscene in Act 3 hit hard. I myself am aroace and religious, and marriage was always something I felt was expected from me.

As I got older and realized that romantic attraction wasn’t really something I feel for people, I tried to convince myself I was attracted to a good friend of mine who had a crush on me, which obviously didn’t work out.

I’ve always had a hard time identifying with womanhood in the way my church has always portrayed it as, so having Mirabelle talk about her faith related struggle with her asexuality and identity was such a comforting representation for me.

Another thing, I can’t tell if it’s intentional or not, but I love how neurodivergent coded they are?

Like, we have Siffrin, kinda touch averse and quiet,

Odile who doesn’t like change and needs her routine alone time to recuperate after every floor,

Mirabelle and Isabeau, the funny noise appreciation squad, the hyper-empathetic duo who would always get over hyped over things together,

And while I can’t think of a specific example for them, Bonnie is always there matching Mirabelle and Isabeau’s energy.

Not to mention the frequent amount of times the latter 3 would repeat each other (echolalia) when saying something fun or happy. (Like the “Pie Smell!” candle).

Do these things on their own make them neurodivergent? No, but the way they’re consistently written like this feels very intentional and I love it.

Anyway, whoof, that was very long, but TLDR: this game was PHENOMENAL, and I will be recommending it to everyone I know

[hearthhuntescasty]

Depression, new adult rant. Mentions of suicidal ideation are sprinkled throughout the paragraphs, paragraph of SH will have a warning before it and is completely skippable.

I've now been a proper adult for a few months now. An apartment with my partner and our puppy. An 8-3 job 5 days a week and paychecks. A functioning morning routine. Antidepressants. A health hazard kitchen, laundry everywhere, and I sleep on the couch because I'm always too exhausted to properly handle my room that the dog keeps diarrhea shitting in.

I have ADHD and depression (probably dysthymia?. No diagnoses here. Perhaps one day soon. But I had a therapist in college who specialized in nurodivergence and she was very sure I was ~something~).

Honestly, idk how people do it. I don't know how they can go to work, come home, deal with 109 things, go to bed and still want to wake up in the morning to do it all again. I'm not sure how in the hell they have energy to do all this shit. How do you feed yourself and others 3 times a day, clean up, do hygiene, go to work, and not become exhausted? I just upped my antidepressants, and I felt better for a while but I think my depression became worse. I don't get how so many people are content living their lives like this. Do they feel content? They ALL don't certainly want to kill themselves. Do they feel rewarded after a hard day's labor?

I have a very rewarding, people focused job. I help children. I watch them grow in ways they might've not have because many people would've given up or coddled them, at least historically. I love my job, or at least, I think I do. I'm too busy being exhausted, and feeling just about nothing and trying to meet my needs and do my job properly at work. I forget everything, and there's so much going on all the time, and so many judgement calls, and I don't want to get in trouble (corrected for mistakes). It's like I just don't get it sometimes. I need to be confident too, which I'm good at, if I don't feel like I'm about to get in trouble, which I'm always a little haunted by because I take my mistakes to heart more than I ought to, I can't stop thinking about my mistakes the day I make them.

I just, I feel nothing. And it seems like nothing fixes it. Will I ever feel better? It's unbearably miserable and empty. I love fall, I get beautiful views this time of year. I try to appreciate the leaves, it's like they never really reach me. I used to feel joy and appreciation, I used to feel like I was seeing this beautiful catching moment. Now I only feel the dullest amount of enjoyment from them, not enough to embrace joy. I try to think of the thoughts I used to have but, it's all faded mumblings that mean nothing to me. it's made me feel like the fall, the summer, the seasons just pass me by and I missed them. I've missed them for years. I black out most of my summers, even when they were likely kinda pleasant. I do remember this summer, but only cause so many Firsts happened.

The following paragraph goes into details about SH. Skip to the next paragraph if that's too much.

I got back into self harm, not that anyone other than the internet knows now. I don't want the attention. Sometimes a little just makes me feel like all that misery can just pour out of me at once and Its enough to be able to suck it up and go on with my day, there's no overwhelming of emotion there's no thought of it afterwards except checking the marks and feeling their burn a bit. Its practically nothing. I don't cut real hard, bleeding, maybe a raised red line. Not even enough to be noticable, nothing that can't be explained away.

Since I was a tween I just wanted to have a job that I enjoyed, and my own place and live a really simple, normal, but happy life. A modest one by most "when I grow up" desires. I was just so sure I would be happy. I tried so hard, I'm trying so hard. And I'm still not happy. I was so sure once I figured things out I'd be happy. My life should be pleasent, tolerable. If it was purely up to my optimistic cheery predisposition and hard work and the fortune I have, I should be content with my life at the minimum. I should be happy, I hope. But it's really not. It's just the chemicals in my brain. I'm so burnt out over the littlest things. Things that are little to neurotypicals, but I gotta build up for. I'm not sure I want to keep on living, I surely don't want to keep on living like this but what choice do I have? I always wanted to open my own tea house, and even if that say brought me the contentment with life I'm searching for, I have to hold out and then work triple time. And I probably will be burnout, or simply the repetitive nature of it will keep be stuck in the same limbo I am now. I just need to keep holding out. Maybe soon my depression will ease off and I'll feel more put together again soon. I will say, my depression/burnout isn't as bad as it has been historically before meds, I used to hurt miles more than I do rn in these moments. I used to feel like I was going insane and I just wanted to be insane to make it go away. I still feel a bit like that ngl but I don't feel insane. I feel rather sane and adult, things need to be and I'll push to get them there and then I will be fine. But God I can't see any point in living my life rn other than to support my partner.

There's really never not enough time. It just keeps rolling and I can't catch up on weekends rn.

Here's some songs that I just keep looping cause they hit.

[hanilessa]

before reading please pay attention to the series masterlist, to make sure you have read the previous chapters!

your likes, reblogs and replies are greatly appreciated! i hope you like it, enjoy reading!

HALF AN HOUR FOR LOVE — Childe x F!Reader Chapter 11. Academy

Shivering in the cold wind, you impatiently rubbed your hands together and exhaled hot steam from your mouth in the hope that it would help warm your icy hands.

You thought you should have put on the gloves you so inopportunely forgot at home. So you had to warm your frozen skin in other ways.

The cold wind blew your hair into your eyes, irritating you a bit. Today you were very absent-minded and got ready for work in a hurry, forgetting about everything in the world.

In particular, about your gloves and that you should to braid your hair so that it wouldn't interfere with you. You wrapped yourself in a warm coat, looking around.

Gradually it began to get dark, people went about their business, and the crowd of people at the station quickly began to disperse. You watched the railroad tracks while waiting for the train your brother was on.

The joy and excitement of the long-awaited meeting filled your entire being, and you couldn't wait for the moment when you could hug Xiao.

The days before his arrival passed very quickly, you didn’t even notice how the working week passed, and the deadline for submitting documents to the academy and passing the entrance exams came up.

There was some trepidation in your chest because you sincerely wanted Xiao to enter the academy and fulfill his dream.

His well-being and dreams were one of the most important things in life for you, so you put in all your efforts, working hard every day, and gradually it brought results.

You hoped that you would soon be able to save the full amount in order to fully pay for your brother's education.

This brought spiritual satisfaction, and you relaxed a little, realizing that gradually your efforts finally bring results. Perhaps after you save enough money to pay Xiao's education, you could take a little vacation and take a break from work.

Your cheeks were suddenly filled with hot heat, warming your face. When your thoughts touched work, it always smoothly turned into thoughts about Childe.

About that day, about his home, his brothers and sister. About him, about his beautiful blue eyes, bright ginger hair that you wanted to touch, about his charming smile. And about that embarrassing question from his younger brother.

Big brother, will you and Y/n get married?

It was difficult to explain such complex things to a small child, and you didn't want to destroy his childish naivety and faith in goodness and magic. But sooner or later, he will still have to face the harsh reality in which marriages are made not only for love, but also for convenience.

And people can't always get married just because they're happy around each other. And reality lets you know, hitting you hard in the face. You didn't want to upset Teucer, but you had to answer honestly.

Because we don't love each other.

A lot of prickly needles and thorns pricked you in the heart at the moment when you remembered your phrase. You shouldn't have felt so sad thinking about it, and you didn't know why it was happening.

Every time you allowed yourself a crazy thought about what feelings and emotions you would feel if Childe fell in love with you and proposed to you, your heart was torn from strange and unusual sensations for you, which blurred inside your body with a pleasant bliss.

Or…

What feelings and emotions would you feel if you knew that Tartaglia loves another woman and wears a gold ring on his ring finger as a sign of their eternal love and wedding vows to each other?

You felt complete devastation, which swept through your body in a quick wave, not leaving a single cell of your body suffering from mental pain without attention.

It seemed that someone very evil and merciless very painfully picked your heart with a sharp knife, without pity, with a grin, creating more and more wounds.

For a moment it seemed to you that you forgot how to breathe, clearly feeling the wounds on your heart, as if it was really happening to you, until someone's hands grabbed your face, bringing you back to reality.

You frightenedly inhale through your nose and mouth, the way a person does who has just swallowed sea salt water and whose lungs are burning from lack of oxygen.

You adjust your breathing, the feel of warm gloves on your cheeks bringing you back to consciousness, and you finally focus your gaze on Xiao, whose eyes are filled with genuine concern.

"Y/n, are you okay?" Your brother asks, getting your attention with his excited, husky voice. His golden eyes were looking at your pale face.

You put your thoughts in order, remembering that you're still at the station, there are a lot of people around you hurrying about their business, the signal noise of trains sounds, words of greeting and goodbye. And it all merges into a cacophony of sounds. But you didn't seem to care.

It's amazing that when your thoughts are focused on one person — Childe — you don't notice anything around you.

"Y/n?" The boy repeats, waiting for your answer.

"I'm fine." You finally answer as your attention returns to your brother.

The boy looked into your eyes suspiciously, as if he was looking for some kind of trick in them, but after a moment he relaxed and exhaled, smiling slightly.

"You haven't changed at all." He chuckles with a smile and you help him with his luggage. You two are heading out of the train station. "You still have your head in the clouds."

Your cheeks flushed slightly and you pouted. "How could I change?! It's only been a few months since I left!"

Xiao chuckled and walked forward, leaving you a little behind.

"And you still take my jokes seriously."

You pouted, but hurried to catch up with your brother, exhaling hot steam from your mouth and breathing in the fresh evening air.

Your hands continued to tingle with cold, and you involuntarily wrinkled your face, but an unexpected warm warmed your palm, and you raised your eyes in surprise.

Xiao stared ahead as he continued walking, and when you looked into his golden eyes, you felt warm in your soul as he squeezed your hand with his gloved hand, warming your skin.

"I missed you, sis."

You smiled happily.

"I missed you too, bro."

Now you can breathe much easier. A native person holding your hand was able to heal your heart wounds, which you inadvertently inflicted on yourself.

Childe stared thoughtlessly at the wooden table in front of him, resting his cheek on his hand, and half-heartedly listened to the man who sat in front of him.

He sincerely didn't want to think about the reason why he had invited this man here today. But he could no longer postpone the solution of this problem, so Tartaglia had to overcome his reluctance.

The detective continued to say something to the ginger man, but Childe mostly ignored most of the information, focusing on the unpleasant tingling in his chest.

This had been going on for some time, and it was stressing the man out. And it started after that evening.

The ginger man winced slightly, returning to memories that, for some unknown reason, gave him inexplicable pain. Why did your words about how you both don't love each other echo in his head for a long time?

You said it with such confidence that it made his heart clench painfully from feelings incomprehensible to him. Did you already have a person to whom you gave your heart and soul?

Tartaglia tensed up, squeezing the arm of the chair tighter, his nails dug into the leather upholstery. For some reason, the thought of this brought him into a state of extreme irritation.

Even the very idea that you can be in someone else's male arms and receive and give kisses to another man seemed very wrong. It hurt Childe to think that you could be with another man. But the key question is why? Why was he in pain?

Tartaglia squirmed unhappily in his chair, trying to take a comfortable position. The green-eyed detective continued to say something at a leisurely pace, explaining all the details of their upcoming collaboration and basically discussing the reason why this collaboration had to happen. But the ginger man didn't seem to care.

At that moment, you occupied all his thoughts, and only for you there was a place.

A crazy and unexpected thought crept into his head, and Tartaglia's cheeks turned slightly red, a heat of embarrassment spread through his body.

He glanced at the detective out of the corner of his eye to make sure the green-eyed man hadn't noticed his embarrassment, and sighed in relief.

The detective looked at the papers and went on explaining something, paying no attention to Childe at all.

This very thought seemed to the ginger man so far away, but for some reason so desirable and beautiful. He chased this idea like a cheetah — the fastest animal in the world — but couldn't catch up with it, because it seemed to him absolutely unrealizable.

Would he like you to be in Lumine's place? Would he like you to be his wife?

Would he like to see you in a white dress next to him on your wedding day with a happy smile on your lips? Would he like you to look at him with eyes full of confidence that he's your support and love, that he can make you truly happy?

And would he like you to see absolutely the same thing in his eyes?

"Mister Tartaglia, can you hear me?" The voice broke into his thoughts, and the image of you in a wedding dress disappeared from his head in the blink of an eye.

He flinched and after a few seconds focused his eyes on the detective. The man with green eyes calmly looked at the ginger man, waiting for his answer.

Tartaglia cleared his throat and said, "I'm sorry. I digress."

"It's okay." The man nodded, sorting through the papers that lay in front of him on the table with a thoughtful look. "As I said earlier, investigation into your case will take quite some time. And it will cost a lot of money."

"You don't have to worry about money." Carelessly — as if the money really were ordinary pieces of paper for him — Childe said, not even looking in the direction of the detective. "Just do your work. And if I'm satisfied, you will receive much more money than was agreed."

The detective nodded and began collecting his papers and documents. Tartaglia got up from the table and approached the man with green eyes.

"I'll let you know right away when the first successes appear in the case." The detective said as he finished packing his things and looked up at the ginger man.

"Okay."

The men shook hands, and Childe said.

"Thank you for your work, Mister Heizou."

The detective went to the door and opened it, finally turning to Tartaglia.

"You have nothing to thank me for yet." And the man went out, leaving Tartaglia alone in his large office.

When the detective left the office, Childe turned to the panoramic window and looked at the evening city. A feeling of some relief appeared in his soul when he had a reliable person who would help him get closer to his goal.

The noise of the city came through the open window, fresh air entered his nose, and after a day's work it was very calming. Tartaglia was thinking that he would like to visit his brothers and sister before he returns to his mansion when a message came on his phone.

The man took his phone out of his pocket and unlocked it.

Evil hamster Y/n:

Tomorrow my brother and I are going to the academy. If you still want to keep us company, then come to my house in the morning. And don't forget to check that your car is in good condition. :)

The ginger man froze for a second, but then his office was filled with soft laughter.

"You're incredible." A smirk appeared on Childe's lips.

He adored that you could be so different. One moment you were embarrassed and cute, the other moment you were snarky and bold.

He adored that you could put him in his place with one of your phrases, make him feel this excitement and desire not to yield to you in this. And he adored the thrill you kept holding him with every time. You were perfect for a man like him.

And he adored it.

You carefully slipped the gloves that Xiao kindly reminded you to take onto your hands and looked around. The sky was covered with gray clouds, the leaves completely fell off the trees, leaving their branches completely bare and like terrible monsters with clumsy paws.

It made you a little nervous, despite the fact that the person who passed the exams today wasn't you, but your brother.

You glanced at Xiao out of the corner of your eye. The boy looked calm and assembled. It would seem that he wasn't worried at all, but you, like no one else, knew that even though he didn't show it, Xiao was very worried right now.

The academy was really prestigious and many people wanted to study there, but not everyone could pass the entrance exams.

But despite all this, you believed that your brother would succeed in passing the exams, and he would enter the academy. You and your mother have told him many times that he's a smart boy. And he really was.

He always studied well, and he was even invited to various olympiads, where Xiao won first places.

You sincerely believed that he would have a good day today.

"Are we waiting for someone, Y/n?" Xiao's voice interrupted your thoughts, and as if you came to your senses, you turned your attention to him. The boy held a notebook with notes and continued to memorize something.

"My friend agreed to join us today and take us straight to the academy." You explained, and your cheeks flushed slightly. But it wasn't clear why this happened. Because of the cold or because of embarrassment. "He should be here soon."

"Friend?" Xiao tore his eyes away from the notes in his notebook and looked at you with a slight disbelief.

You were about to answer him, but you were interrupted by a loud car horn, which caught your and Xiao's attention. A black car stopped right in front of you and your brother.

You shifted from foot to foot, looking uncertainly towards Xiao, and waited for Tartaglia to get out of the car. It was a very exciting meeting.

Your cheeks turned a brighter red as Childe finally got out of the car and waved his hand at you with a charming sly smile.

The man was wearing an expensive gray coat that matched his ginger hair perfectly. For some reason, this fact made your heart beat faster.

"Hello, princess." He said in a sweet voice with a clear desire to tease you. "I can tell by your embarrassed face that you're glad to meet me."

You pouted, snorting, "I'll be glad to our meeting if I can make sure your car doesn’t break down halfway through and you get me and Xiao safely to the academy for him to pass his exams."

The ginger man laughed out loud, putting his hand to his forehead in a theatrical gesture.

"You're too cruel to me, you know?" Tartaglia stopped laughing and finally looked at your brother, who was looking at the ginger man with a searching look. "Will you introduce us to each other?"

You snorted again, but complied with his request.

"Childe, meet my brother Xiao." With a gesture of your right hand, you pointed to your brother, whose golden eyes tirelessly continued to look at Tartaglia. After that, you pointed at the ginger man and made a face, showing him your tongue.

If you knew how cute you were to Childe at that moment.

"Xiao, Childe is the friend I told you about." You said.

Tartaglia extended his hand to Xiao as a greeting gesture. The boy remained silent, eyeing the man with some suspicion, causing Childe to swallow nervously.

But after a few seconds, your brother still shook hands with him, although his face showed that he did it with reluctance.

When the greetings were over, the ginger man invited you and your brother into his car. Xiao didn't give him a chance to open the door for you and did it on his own.

Tartaglia could only blink his blue eyes in a stupor. You silently got into the car, after which the boy and the man in silence hurried to do it too.

There was a tense silence in the car. You awkwardly fingered the folds of fabric in your clothes, Childe tapped the leather steering wheel slightly nervously.

It seemed that only Xiao felt relaxed enough as he continued to read his notes in his notebook.

When the car pulled up to the academy, you enthusiastically looked out the window, admiring how beautiful was the academy building. Large facades, marble statues, various golden patterns on the walls of the building as decoration.

As a caring elder sister, you were sure that Xiao would like this place and that he would feel comfortable studying here.

When you three got out of the car, Xiao hurried to the academy building, leaving you and Childe to slowly follow him along the decorative alley.

"This academy is like a palace." You said enthusiastically, looking around with interest.

"Brings back memories." The ginger man spoke in a quiet voice as he walked beside you.

"What?" You didn't hear what he said, so you decided to ask him.

"Is your brother always this silent?" Tartaglia tried to change the subject, opening the door to the academy building for you.

"Mostly, yes." You shrugged as you entered the building and marveled at how beautiful it was inside. "He always reads and studies a lot."

"Is that so?" The ginger man grunted thoughtfully, and then slyly smiled and looked at you again. "It turns out that he's the complete opposite of you. You're very noisy."

"What is that even supposed to mean?!" You exclaimed as the two of you approached Xiao, who stood uncertainly in the middle of the big hall of the academy.

"Don't be angry, princess. I just wanted to tease…" Childe didn't have time to finish when a voice interrupted him.

"What an unexpected and pleasant meeting."

You three turned around. Childe visibly tensed and suddenly intertwined your and his hand, squeezing your hand tightly. Your cheeks instantly turned red, and you looked at Tartaglia with excitement.

But an unknown voice again attracted your attention, and you turned to the person who spoke to you.

"I didn't expect to see you here, Childe."

A man with blue hair stood in front of you and smiled friendly, and next to him stood a girl with the same blue hair and looked embarrassedly from behind his broad back.

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