#honestly i am having a Bad And Scary Time
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nerevarbignaturals · 2 years ago
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Happy weedmas to those who celebrate
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mellotronmkll · 18 days ago
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Wverytime I sit down at a computer to make music I get so scared
#i like siting down with a guitar and writing music but the daw is still so scary to me and i dont know how to make it less scary#its like i dont know where to start#i understand music theory i can write chord progressions i can write melodies but arranging feels so daunting#like just trying to pick keyboard voices and stuff im like overwhelmed and then its like i just dont even know where to start#i think i need to do more covers to practice arranging because trying to do it with my own songs im just like i have NO IDEA#i do think that trying to recreate arrangements of other songs I like will help me but also just idk#i really want to get better at writing at the piano but i find it really hard#rn i write almost all my songs on the guitar then i guess what i have to do is try to think of like what style i want it to have#and sort of try to create a map like probably literally on paper and then try to go in and sort of do it but god its so hard i dont know#it feels so so daunting#even trying to make silly little stuff with just like some synths is really hard for me right now its so out of my comfort zone and AUGH id#its frustrating im scared of the computer but i also very much do not want to be an acoustic singer songwriter but thats all i can do#because all i can do is play fucking guitar!!!! and its just so frustrating#technically im like with a midi controller i should be able to do whatever program drums write little synth lines etc i dont have to like#know how to play piano and yet whenever i try to do it i just get so overwhelmed and freaked out with how many possibilities there are#that i just . cannnnnt#AHGHHHHHHHHHHHH im so im in such a bad mood right ow#ive had such a horrible night honestly#i think i will just go engage in fixation for comfort and then go to bed sigh#i dont know what to do to improve at making music in the daw i guess ill just maybe try again this weekend to take another crack at it#god its just so frustrating that i only started writing songs 2 years ago and have only learned to use a daw in the last 3 months i WISH#that i was one of these teenagers who spent all my time writing silly songs and playing around with a midi controller but i just didnt#because i was scared!!!!!!!#playing the guitar and singing has always been like the only thing that felt safe cos i felt if i tried to actually write and arrange songs#by myself i would fail so now i just feel so frustrated because i dont feel like a real musician and i feel like im starting too late#AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH whatever sorry for using the tags of this post as my diary but#i am frustrated!!!!
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sysig · 5 months ago
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By the skin of your teeth (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#DAX#ZEX#Pyramid Head#The Captain#Blood#The cuts themselves are just black and white because I'm controlling myself lol - clearly not That much with the rest but hey!#Still it is a very nasty cut for how nonchalantly I've drawn them all haha - ZEX's back too he's just facing forward#I also momentarily forgot that he was in his uniform it's fine don't worry about it lol#All these speculations on where and how about the injuries and then just - What Uniform That I Am Enamoured By? Haha#I've done the same thing with DAX I keep forgetting about his poor ankle and then it comes up and I'm like ''Oh yeah haha I knew that''#How are some details so sticky and others so smoke-like! Some stay in my brain and others - pffbtl how silly#All the same it's still the Funnest Fun <3#There's something so Extra delightful to have Seen a setpiece - an object - an idea - and then get to interact with it <3 <3#Hitting Pyramid Head with Zelnick's frying pan! Forget PH I can't believe we had the budget for the skillet's appearance fee ♪♫ Hehehe#No but honestly Pyramid Head was incredible ✨ Wonderfully scary and distressing and tense and full of fallout! Terrible things!! ♪♫#I've never drawn him before so it was interesting! :0 His appearance in SH2 looks all squished#Like his belly is jutting out across from a broken spine! Quite spooky#I don't think I fully managed to capture that - kinda just looks like his hip bones are very prominent hehe - but maybe some other time :)#I hope they don't run into him again - for their sake tho haha ♪#DAX continually pulling ZEX behind him to try and protect him (and failing) was something I really Had to put to paper <3#As well as snuggles!! Even before they got Really hurt I was like Oh everyone needs hugs so bad :'0 And they do!! They need so many hugs!#Maybe especially Zelnick poor Captain :'0 Give this boy a break#The injuries are more of a self-guide hehe I'm not sure how accurate they are - they Feel accurate based on handedness et al#I was the least sure for Zelnick since he got tossed (poor thing!) but at least bruises are always fun to draw hehe#The return of my rainbow bruises lol - I only use three colours they're just so vibrant!#DAX trying so~ hard not to be taken in hehe what could these feelings be! Familiarly repressed? No surely not ♪#Be nice ♫
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piplupod · 9 months ago
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head in my hands. i promise i am not a scary unhinged person fdsgjkl, and none of my silly happy posting is fake, i am just very good at repressing and partitioning things. i can be having the worst day of my life and still enjoy jokes and be genuinely having a good time with my silly little characters and stories i come up with. this brain LOVES to section off shit that is genuinely unbearable (because how else do you live with that? if not putting it in a place where you cannot feel it?) so that i can cope and find joy in life still fsdjkl i simply love having a good time too much to ever make it up
#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#i want to make friends and be a pleasant person to be around so badly but fhdsjkl then . this household hurts me as it is wont to do#and i have a small breakdown here bc it all feels so awful and i feel like if i keep it locked inside and hidden i will actually CrackTM#and then i feel like that is . well. understandably! a lot! for other ppl to see#and it is very upsetting and scary and awful to read. i know. im so well aware fjdskl#but also augh. augh augh augh. i try very hard to not post abt things as much as i humanly can avoid doing so#but i am very silly and fuck up my own rules for myself when i have a particularly bad experience w mother o' mine#i am worried that if i say anything to the effect of ''life is terrible and i am straight up not having a good time''#then it makes all my other posting look disingenuous or smth. i am literally just posting what is on my brain currently when i post stuff#and oftentimes my brain is like... a silly little swirl-patterned rubber bouncy ball with a happy face on it HDSGJKL#that is like... a lot of my whole deal as a part of the brain fsdfjkl#even with all the grief and upset i can still have a good time bc we stay silly !!!! by god we stay silly through it all !!!#i will shrug my shoulders and say ''ah well what can ya do!'' after getting screamed at or told i'm a disappointment to the family lmfao#because honestly... what can you do dsfkl it is what it is and theres rly nothing i can do about this all#anyways i am talking toooooo much sorry fdsjgkl once again i will delete all this later so i dont upset ppl too much dsjkl augh augh sorry
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sateurn · 1 year ago
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😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫
These sobs really limited my tags?????
I have so many more thoughts this is so so much less than 1/2. Broski. Big dislike
#its ‘i watched a tv show and i need to talk about it in the tags of this site im not on anymore’ time#ty to the void for always accepting my thoughts <3#so honestly its just me thinking about the andromeda tv show. i just finished it and it left me destitute bc i clung onto the first 2 season#s as a basis and had ten thousand questions i *assumed* would be resolved. spoiler alert: they were nto#not*. and the coda addition helps but like. not enough. it explains some of the#oh fyi if anyone is reading or cared there will be spoilers#anyways it explained some of them ex for the cosmic engine bit. seemed pretty relevant and then was never mentioned again#i also MUCH prefer that version of trance — i had speculation she was a sun avatar which i took as confirmation when i finally noticed her#tattoo when harper used it to remind himself he put that data in the sun etc etc but i much prefer the sun-as-consciousness-astral-poject-#ing-slash-dreamjng-itself-a-body / being a little devil. i think that feels much more true to what we got in worldbuilding early on and tbh#the bar is on the floor bc any explanation would be better than what we got. also im sorry but s5 i trusted SO hard that that whole virgil#vox bit in the finale was insulting. couldnt even tie up the loose end you invented at the last minute????? MY god. i understand getting you#r budget halved but like. broski. it would have been better to ignore it at that point imo.#anywhoodle. i also have just ISSUES w the lack of resolution & not doing justice to literally any character#listen. why would you sink SO much effort into tyr just to have honestly what i feel is a disrespectful end to that character. like#tyr required me to do a LOT of thinking bc i sympathized with his position in exile etc while thinking also bro thats real fucked up. bro#stop thats fuckinng e*genics again dude. tbh with the entire species (im not looking up how to spell that rn) bc like the foundation of#their entire race is e*ugenics. (sorry censoring bc im in the tags just venting about tv) which obviously is a terrible idea but i think the#so it was like i am fundamentally against the concept but in show universe theg obviously did it etc but for me provided such a huge like#context to the universe. i fundamentally am not on board with all the commonwealth stuff like yeah i get it the magog are bad and scary but#like the neitzcheans (sp??? idc) are also Right There bein scary. then theres the ‘enhanced’ debate re dylan beka etc that like. is the same#but ‘’different’’ i guess. 🙄 anyways that is just to point out like. the level of thinking this show put me through just to blindside me w/#no resolution. i had SO much hope. tyr selling iut to the abyss is disrespectful to all of the established work the actor did for him and#to the character as well even if i think the ideology is icky. he was shown to be even less and less self-centric survival guy as it went on#and also tbh i didnt understand the him stealing his kids dna thing. i really thought that was gonna gi in a different less bs direction#okay also while im here can i just say. that tyr and dylan had THE most romantic tension to me. everyone else felt very friendshipy and i am#NOT one to usually fall into a ‘they obviously should be together’ pipeline that the writers dont make themselves. but the back and forth (#and intense eye contact) had me sitting there like. it was made in 2000 i know they wont do it but for not doing it they sure did! not that#i think they’d make a good couple (they would not) but that there was definitely something there on the dl you know? something more than#‘mutual respect’ you feel? and tbh! they also ruined the tyr beka thing by making her the matriarch. big ew huge ick.
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nuclearnyx · 2 years ago
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people who don't use the tags to be sad and vent are so powerful lmao couldn't be me
#real talk it has been BAD lately#the POTS has gotten MUCH worse lately#for example. yesterday i had to call someone to bring me a sports drink because sitting up in bed made me almost lose consciousness#like i am DREADING leaving the house because im having minor-ish episodes at least twice a day#and the new scary part is that when i have an episode i cant speak well#i can say a few words at a time but thats it#which is scary and also frustrating because people tend to freak out and ask a lot of questions and its hard to answer#and it sucks because i know i cant do certain things when im home alone anymore#like showering (huge trigger) or cooking (also trigger sometimes) because its honestly kinda dangerous now#its very humbling to have to lie down on the floor because painting for 20 minutes triggered an attack#and a lot of the people around me arent handling it well so thats a whole OTHER set of issues#im honestly thinking of writing out a 'what to do during an episode' plan for the people in my family to make it easier#and another 'how we explain this to people' plan because everyone is giving different accounts and kinda minimizing to not scare people#which i get because it all SOUNDS very scary and we dont want people to be worrying (and frankly bothering us about it)#but if i show up to an event or whatever and have an issue or i start using a mobility aid (maybe?) they'll get weird#ANYWAYS this all sucks but also im hanging in there (and yes my doc is on top of this dont worry)#its going to be really interesting to see how things play out over the coming weeks and months
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vxmpdxllie · 11 days ago
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I know it’s Halloween and all and I should stay happy cause it’s a holiday but I honestly feel like such a shit girlfriend. I just feel like recently I’ve been too in my own head and just getting mad at everything and idk if it’s me overthinking but I feel like it makes me hard to talk to. I know there’s a small possibility in like that not being true but I’m just scared that everytime I get mad like this he starts to loose interest in me move and move and I get really scared that he’s gonna wanna break up with me soon and I’ve just been really worried about that lately
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arolesbianism · 7 months ago
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Tiphereth suppression finally complete babeyyyy
#rat rambles#lisa my beloved <3#her brother also exists ig.#I did it first try too which honestly is a relief it took forever idk how many times I could handle doing all that#which also means that the other two are now ready for their core suppressions which is both exiting and scary#exciting because it means that I can tell alruine to fuck off#scary because red mist boss fight 😔#I have no idea what to expect but tbh I rly cant be any more prepared than I already am#I have all the aleph gear not counting apocalypse bird and white night gear#and I have all the waw gear except for the one waw I havent gotten yet#in fact there's only 4 abnos I havent gotten yet I think and two of those are toold#I might stall a bit by memory repositing until I get those out of the way but I also might not idk#what I am starting to have to think abt tho is the two side bosses I previously mentioned#I do think apocalypse bird might be doable for me rn but white knight is a more tricky story#mostly because quite frankly I dont have 12 employees available to sacrifice to start the fight#I can obviously just make some new throaway guys but still#now setting up apocalypse bird would also be annoying since I currently only have judgement bird in my facility#rly Im just not sure which of my guys can or cant handle either boss#cause I do need the manpower but I also just am not confident that most of the gear my guys have will do them much good#now one thing that may be kind of pointless but I still wanna do is get silent orchestras ego gift on one of my guys#because god damn is that a powerful buff even if white damage isnt that common outside of anbno breaches#it would be fun in the sense that thatd make my girl able to solo any abnos that deal white damage#again its good dont get me wrong its just definitely smth that isnt as widly applicable as youd think#but yeah ideally I dont wanna do another day one reset and I rly do think this could be the run#the only reason I reset my first one rly was because I had gotten bored grinding for gear and also just wanted to finish my abno info#collection easier since there was a shit load of low level abnos I was missing#now the only ''''low level'''' abno Im missing is plague doctor for well. obvious reasons.#so yeah I should be pretty good and done with my info gathering within a session or two#tbh I dont even know what the wellfare meltdown looks like but Im much less scared of it than the boss fights I have up ahead#stinky b is also going to be tricky but Im hoping it wont be too bad
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a-very-fond-farewell · 8 months ago
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I’m back at it again folks. (*inhales k/im g/o-eun content like kirby*) I’m fine. time to write 😔🏳️‍🌈💅🏻
#sneaky niki#lamb loose liveblogging#it’s women loving hours in the club and I can’t get over how pretty and charming she is#I can’t watch the big scary movie she’s in now bc:#I’m a scaredy cat (*dpr song playing in the background*) + it’s not available where I live#but believe me I am /this close/ to make a ‘do it for her’ poster with her face on it#anyway#topic of the day is (*checks notes*) divorce#listen I’m no expert on relationships and I can honestly say that HDS’s wife should demand one#will she get it? would she even want to get a divorce? that’s beside the point#but I want to truly honor Hye Young’s character and put myself in her shoes as I write this part of her story#bc what /i/ think she should do has nothing to do with what /she/ wants to do#also marriage and companionship and relationship are very complex IRL??#ik we’re all on board on this nemesis-living-together-while-giving-one-another-blue-balls train of a fic#believe me I get it. but I feel so much for Hye Young. her husband turned into a horrible person. 3 years have gone by. poor woman#so. since these are the vibes for today. I plan to take a small break from ch16 (that detestable chapter >:0 bad chapter! headache-inducing#)#and focus a little bit on Hye Young for the time being.#she will make an appearance later on (possibly after ch 20)#but today feels like a good day to listen to her#nobody listened to her in the show. now it’s my turn to let her talk#ok so. confusing omens aside.#have a very good day folks :)
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creativesplat · 1 year ago
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I’m fairly sure the idea was that Stan and Ford wouldn’t be able to figure out the weirdmageddon bubble solution, not because Ford couldn’t give up something important for someone else (although its true), but because they were both fighting like cats and dogs.
Ford wouldn’t take the time trying to understand how Stan feels, because its not logical, and hates to admit that he cares about this man who ruined his dream life and took away his chance of defeating Bill in the nightmare realm.
Stan would never believe Ford if he told him his reality was an illusion that he should leave, and wouldn’t listen if he told him that he was on Stan’s side, because in the most important things (like when he was homeless, or when they were reunited before the portal incident) he wasn’t. 
It’s not that it’s bad Ford had a dream outside the Stan’o’War, its that they’re both so awful at communication and so hurt by the other that they wouldn’t be able to help each other out of it like Dipper and Mable could.
It took the children being hunted by a demon wanting to murder them for the older twins to even talk to each other about how they felt. 
Anyways, that's just my two Stan Bucks/ Trembly's negative twelve dollar bills on this post!
I hate that Alex said that Dipper and Mabel's solution during Weirdmageddon in the prison bubble was a solution Ford and Stan couldn't find because under the knowledge that said solution entailed Dipper giving up his apprenticeship implies that Ford was bad for having dreams outside of what Stan wanted. That Ford should've given up his individual dreams in its entirety and run off with Stan on the Stan O' War dream that was beginning to feel unrealistic and no longer obtainable to Ford than the college where he actually had the full-ride scholarship within his grasp!
Like, how dare he want to live his own life! How dare he want something different than Stan! How dare he get upset when Stan walked behind his back, ruined his dream, and failed to own up to it properly! He should've just stayed glued to the hip with Stan for the rest of his life and not have individual dreams from him! (This is sarcasm if you couldn't tell)
It feels very anti-Ford if I'm being honest. Dipper and Mabel were at a point in their lives where Dipper giving up the apprenticeship and staying with Mabel was a good thing because he was a young adolescent at the end of the summer and he still has time he needs to grow up! Also said apprenticeship wasn't really that good of an idea for Dipper! Stan and Ford, on the other hand, were different in that their adolescence was coming to a close! They were teens on the cusp of adulthood, almost ready to move out into the world! Ford's dreams actually got invalidated by Alex's statement! It paints Ford as a bad person without even talking about any of his own actual mistakes and I don't think I should explain why that's not good.
There's nuance here! If Stan hadn't bottled up his feelings so badly and actually talked about how he felt about Ford leaving (like, actually talked, not 'eluded to it' or whatever he was doing on the swings) perhaps they could've reached a compromise or at least a better understanding of their sides! Ford could've assuaged his fears, letting him know he won't be gone forever from Stan and that him leaving for the time being really wouldn't be the end of the world. Let's be real here, it wouldn't kill Stan to be without Ford for a few years while he was at college, they could still keep contact or visit! I hate this idea of black and white, no compromise, only two things you can choose from kind of thinking. 'Either give up your dreams or have a bad relationship with your brother, your pick'. Do you not see how ridiculous that idea is? Ford pursuing his own dreams wouldn't inherently ruin his relationship with Stan, it was Stan's own actions that started the long line of issues to break their relationship down into pieces! (I'm not gonna cover my statement with promises that 'I know Ford isn't perfect either and made mistakes too', by the way, everyone talks about that like no tomorrow and I feel like it shouldn't need to be said at this point. I am standing my ground on this. I hate justifying my love for Ford. I'm ironically covering myself here but the point stands)
On a related note, it's funny how the fandom is quick to get angry at Mabel for making Dipper give up his wants (even when it was justified) but instantly turns around and wants Ford to give up his wants for Stan. Feels kinda... hypocritical... But that's just me and my silly little opinion, huh?
Anyway, this was just something that brought me to anger last night and wouldn't let me go until I wrote it up. Not gonna argue with anyone about this because I am well over being exhausted when it comes to Ford and the fandom (also Alex to a certain extent) so you can yell at me all you want but I couldn't care less (i do care, but I'm not gonna engage unless it gets out of hand)
#I am a twin - which is fun - so I really resonated with GF's story about twins and I just thought it might be fun to comment!#hope this doesn't come off as rude! this was a really interesting point which I found very fun to read :)#Genuinely one of the most difficult pains in my life was being separated from a woman I had known since birth and spent all my time with.#so I don't blame stan too much for dreading the change loosing a twin can make or Mable for that matter#I was the dipper/ ford in my one but for me the pain was horrid#and we still kept in touch and all that and we worked it out but like honestly it was one of the most scary things that has ever happened#it wouldn't have killed stan but stan (like me and my twin) would have felt like it might#with the failing to own up to it properly:#it could just be me and my twin but I imagine Stan's idiotic response to angry ford was because he wasn't expecting it to be a big deal#as a twin when the other gets mad at you you usually think its a joke or something because (and this happens both ways) most of the time yo#get over it in an hour - its weird but genuinely happens my sister once destroyed part of a game I had been playing on for ages and was a#current hyper fixation and I was so mad I didn't want to talk to her for what I assumed would be the rest of the week#but an hour later (if that) we were thick as theives again#(and I get how jerky it is because when my sister does that to me about a big deal (like accidentally telling a room full of people#a sensitive personal thing) and then doesn't get that I'm actually mad it's really frustrating and horrid#but I've done the same thing to her before like insulting her about a big thing or humiliating her in front of people - and there's more#examples of that than I'm proud of (heck even one is bad enough!)#and then just assumed it would be ok because it always is#and usually - give or take an hour of calm down time - it is#so this isn't justifying Stan's jackass response to ford being like my machine was broken and you had something to do with it but it#might help explain it a little bit?#like even after the sensitive thing it only took two hours for us to be best buddies again forgiveness just happens (could be just us tho)
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ennabear · 22 days ago
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SACRIFICIAL ANGEL
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ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ good evening sevika nation, continuation of this because y’all are enablers who are bad for my screen time… just kidding aaaah i love you horny freaks and i don’t know what i’d do without you <33
cw: bottom dom!sevika x pervert!loser!reader, a tiny bit of voyeurism (if it even counts as that), reader bartends at the brothel, sevika is suchhhhh a flirt, found family trope????, strap usage, bondage, tribbing, etc etc etc. i really am all over the place with this one 🤦 hope u enjoy anyways
word count: 6.8k
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you’d been bartending at babette’s for about 3 months when you first saw her. cracking her knuckles as she sauntered in with a wolfish grin, her long torso and even longer legs making her easily tower over the girls she came to see. never once had you felt jealousy toward them. in fact, you thought they had a harder job than you did— dealing with drunk old men who practically abused them and then left without sparing a tip wasn’t a job for just anyone. but now? you’ve never wanted to be one of them more.
it’s not that you’re not pretty, but you’re just so different from babette’s girls. you’re bigger and taller than them, trading in the slim curves of their bodies for thick muscle that coats your thighs and biceps. and you act differently, too. you’re not as sweet as them, and it honestly baffles you that they can always manage to treat their rudest customers with the utmost respect.
sevika comes in a few times a week, such an admirable woman to be in a place like this. she’s always sporting a scowl or a smirk, depending on her attitude for the day, and a fresh new scar or coating of blood on her knuckles. but there’s something you know about her that hardly anyone else does.
sevika doesn’t come to the brothel to fuck, she comes to get fucked. it’s almost impossible to miss, but nearly every night you watch her stroll in with her perfect posture, and then watch her stumble out of the doorway, practically tripping over her feet as she tries to zip up her pants and button up her shirt before anyone can see her half-naked body. hickies and bright red lipstick smudges paint her neck, and she’s still panting as her unsteady legs wobble themselves out of the door and down the street.
the first time you saw her this way, you had to take a breather behind the bar before you got so dizzy you returned home, faking an illness. she turns you on so much it’s hard to believe. and oh, how you’d kill to see what happens behind those closed doors.
to see sevika, all six feet of her warm brown skin and tight muscles on display, legs spread as wide as they can as her sopping cunt sucks in one girls strap, while another shoves a gag in her mouth, taking her hands and tying them together with a scrap of rope. how she’d completely submit to these angels, letting them use her however they please until her vocal cords give out and she’s laying in a pool of her own cum. and how she’d cover herself in that “scary lady” facade again as she leaves, thinking that what happens in that room stays in the room, although you know her secret. and you see it every night, whether it’s real or just another one of your perverted daydreams.
and so she walks in tonight like clockwork. the building is practically empty considering the time, one of the only benefits of working this late is to see her. she never looks your way, though, and why should she? she practically gets fed free drinks from her friends at the last drop, and it’s borderline disgraceful for her to have eyes for a woman like you when she has these gorgeous dolls promising to take good care of her.
they whisk her away in an instant. you’ve gotten to know these girls pretty well, they’re all sweethearts who crowd around your bar at the end of their shift. crystal, the shortest one, is so good with her words it’s baffling. she can smooth talk anyone into anything, and her friendly flirting never fails to make you giggle. monica, the oldest one, is so witty it almost makes you jealous. your jokes are nothing compared to her quick remarks, and she could easily take you in a fight if you didn’t have a few extra inches on her. ivy, the fairy, as you all call her, is the sweetest little nymph you’ve ever met. she often shares her extra tips with you when times get tough, and she’s always quick to offer you a helping hand behind the bar when you get swarmed.
it’s not a real family, but it’s the closest you’ve ever had. they look out for you and you do the same for them, quick to drag away any of the old men who harass them and scare them away with the sharp edges of your knuckles.
you watch as monica tugs at sevika’s choker like it’s a collar, dragging her away as the other two girls practically dangle off of her muscular arms. it must be a form of torture, watching them disappear behind those doors again. but you sigh and flip over the record that’s slowed to a stop on the turntable, hoping the sweet, melodic jazz will numb your brain long enough to survive the final hours of your shift. you sweep the floors, rinse out the glasses, and wipe down the bar.
without anything else to do, you sit and stare at the big stained glass window in front of you. your mind easily wanders, imagining your warm bed at home, the leftovers you’re gonna devour later, and sevika, as always. if only all of your money could purchase her attention, but even then attention doesn’t always equate to fondness.
your boredom gets to the best of you, and you wander out from behind the bar, peering down the long hallway. in hopes of what? nobody else is in here besides you, sevika, and the girls— not even babette. there’s really no point, but you carry on walking nevertheless. the empty rooms are somewhat eerie, they’re usually so full of love and lust, but now restored to their pristine condition.
you pause in front of the only occupied room of the night, standing just a few yards away from the door. it’s almost silent, but a light giggle breaks the silence, and you almost keel over and sob right there. red-hot jealousy floods your veins, and your whole body trembles as you try your hardest not to let a peep sneak past your lips.
the girls don’t hear you, to your luck, too busy smooshing their brightly colored lips over sevika’s to see which color suits her the most, while she trembles and blushes with a vibrator between her legs. you practically run to the end of the hall to escape the noise, sitting against the wall and twiddling your thumbs in an attempt not to cry.
so that’s why you wanted to take a stroll down the hall so badly. you fucking perv, you think to yourself. lucky you didn’t get your ass caught, get a damn grip!
bolting upright, you decide to return to the bar. babette want’s a new recipe anyways, might as well do it right now, and if you mess up a few times it’ll be an excuse to get plastered on the clock. with your head in your hands, you begin your trek back to the lobby. what an evil, evil curse comparison is.
then the curtains fly open a few feet in front of you, and you almost audibly gasp at the distraction before you stifle it with the back of your hand. sevika gets playfully pushed out of the room, her tits on full display as she fumbles with the buttons on her shirt. you swear you black out for a second, or maybe even a full few minutes, who’s counting?
she giggles to herself and sighs as she gets a few buttons closed, her weakened legs wobbling under her weight as she carries herself down the rest of the long hallway and out of the door. you follow behind her slowly and silently, careful not to go to fast or make even the slightest noise.
she doesn’t see you as she slips out of the door, mind too hazy to think about anything other than the pure pleasure pumping through her veins. as soon as the coast is clear, you dash back behind the jar, pouring a few mixers in a glass and swirling them around in an attempt to make it seem like you were doing anything.
monica, ivy, and crystal trail out of the room after a few minutes of catching their breath. the fairy takes a seat in front of you, smiling and giggling as monica wipes some dark brown lipstick off of crystal’s neck.
“that woman is crazy,” she laughs. “what’re you making?”
“i dunno, just something new.”
“good! we need something sweeter on the menu.”
“you’re only saying that because you’re sweet and you like other sweet things.” you tease.
“of course, that’s why i like you so much. and besides, all of the drinks here are catered toward old, cranky men.”
“yeah, because that’s who all of your customers are.” you say, rolling your eyes.
“not all of them,” crystal cuts in. “and certainly not her.”
“did she tip you well?” you wonder.
“oh, fuck yeah, she always does.”
“i think she’s the richest woman in the whole city.”
“damn,” you smirk, not wanting your jealousy to peek out through your face.
“it’s okay, we’ll buy you something special.” monica winks. you roll your eyes, although completely embracing the way they spoil you.
as soon as the girls are out of the door, you finish locking up before heading out too. you’re so full of emotions, you have no idea which one to prioritize. should you cry into your pillow as soon as you fall asleep, jealous and angry that you’ll never get to have sevika in the way you want? or should you celebrate the fact that you almost saw her completely shirtless, and replay that image in your mind until sleep takes you?
you settle for both. crying into your pillow as you shove one of your hands down your pants. the release is satisfying, but only for a quick second before you’re wishing it were her, or anyone really. the water temperature in your apartment building is awfully cold, and you shiver as you scrub yourself down. your nipples pucker and harden as you run your hands over your body, imagining sevika touching you instead.
any attempt at sleeping is useless, your mind races with different possible scenarios. you might be upset that she’s not in love with you now, but what if she caught you staring at her while she was still dressing herself, or even worse, lingering outside of that room and listening to them get her off? at least she doesn’t hate you, right?
to your luck, the phone rings, a free excuse to be awake at this time of night. you rise and walk to the other side of the room, yanking the phone off of the wall as the cord curls and hangs down.
you yawn. “hello?”
“i can’t come in today,” ivy’s voice crackles through the speaker. “i’m coming down with something, and i think monica is too. maybe i got it from her or, or gave it to—?”
“it’s okay, sweetheart.” you assure her. “get some rest, do you need me to come over?”
“no, crystal said she’d come take care of me. but thank you.”
“okay, call me if you need anything. i love you.”
“i love you too,” she yawns, her voice sounds thick and congested. “and tell my regulars i love them, you could always cover for me if you want.”
“oh, fuck off.” you laugh. “i’m not gonna cover your shift as a prostitute, but get well soon.”
“okay, thank you, sorry if i woke you up.”
“it’s okay, i wasn’t sleeping anyways. i’ll check in soon, okay?”
“okay, bye, goodnight.” she sighs, and you slot the phone back against the wall.
and so the day passes agonizingly slow without any support. it’s a friday, so as soon as it hits 3pm, people flood in to get a good start to their weekend. there are a few girls who you’re friendly with, but you don’t get to know them very well since they’re always leaving at the beginning of your shift. babette comes in, though, and she sits and chats with you to keep you company.
she’s such a sweet soul, and she’s so wise it makes you want to take notes on everything she says. she tells you crazy stories, laughs, cries, and gives you advice before returning to her office for the night. so you’re left alone, eyeballing various flavors and liquors into you glass in attempt to make a cocktail that’s sweet enough for your little fairy.
after about an hour of this, you give up and rinse your glass out with water. none of their regular customers come in tonight, which is strange because usually fridays are their busiest nights. sevika comes in though, she must not have gotten the memo, but you’re not about to complain.
“your favorites aren’t in tonight,” you warn her just as she steps in. “one of ‘em caught the flu and spread it to the rest.”
“shit,” she huffs, “d’you think i could have a shot with the hot bartender?”
you scoff at this, cheeks heating up involuntarily. “i’m not a hot bartender, just a regular bartender. and i don’t offer any… services, if that’s what you’re wondering.”
“agree to disagree.” she winks, planting herself at the stool right in front of you. “and no worries, i’ll take a whiskey.”
an eerie silence fills the room, the same one that always lingers in the brothel. you’re practically dying to say something, but you don’t know what to say other than something stupid and embarrassing.
sevika breaks the silence, though, saying “they talk about you a lot, you know.”
“do they?” you pretend to be shocked, but they’re your family, your sisters. of course you talk about each other, who else do you have to be proud of in a world like this?
“yeah. apparently you’re scary as hell but you can crack some mean jokes.”
“sometimes,” you admit with a shy smile. “although it’s mostly just when i’m half asleep at the very end of my shift that i let that side of me come out.”
“will i be lucky enough to see it?”
“maybe if you hang around long enough.”
“you could keep me waiting ‘til the end of time and i’d still be here.” she says, almost too nonchalantly.
you roll your eyes and slide her her whiskey, propping yourself up on your elbows as you study her up close for the first time ever. her mechanical arm is extremely detailed, each nut and bolt have a different important job that can’t function without the others. like you and your sisters.
“although, i have to admit,” she finally says. “i don’t see how you can be scary.”
“you haven’t seen me dragging old perverts out of here by the hem of their t-shirts, that’s why.”
“does it happen a lot?” she asks.
“hell no, you think i let those fuckers live to see another day? to come back in here?” you laugh. “absolutely not.”
“so there’s the humor.” she notices.
“yeah,” you smile. “except i wasn’t joking. and i bet you’d do the same if you’ve ever encountered them.”
“oh, trust me, i have.” she recalls with a grunt. “dumbfucks littering the streets yet topside is concerned about us.”
you hum in response. “it’s really not fair… can i ask you a question?”
“fire away.”
“why do you come in here?” you start. “i mean— no shame, i work here, but you couldn’t have found a better brothel?”
“i dunno, i don’t really care for the better ones. plus, i’ve known babette forever, literally. she’s been around for so long, i enjoy supporting her and her workers.”
“yeah, that checks out.” you sigh, babette really is a sweetheart, she might be the only good thing left about the undercity. “but isn’t it hard not to fall in love with them? how do you do it?”
she pauses for a moment, calculating her answer in her mind first. “i love them and everything they do for me, but i’m not really, into them like that.”
“oh, i’m sorry for assumi—”
“no, i do like girls,” she assures you. “just not them. i like my ladies with a little bit more meat on their bones.” she says with a wolfish grin, eyeing your body up and down.
“oh, you stop it!!” you grin back at her, a warm, tingly feeling flushing over your body.
“i didn’t call you a hot bartender for nothing, but i don’t date for looks, anyways. actually, i don’t really date in general, but maybe i just haven’t found the one.” she says, putting a suggestive emphasis on the one. she slides her empty glass toward you and rises from her stool. you’re sad to see her go so early, especially when she just started flirting with you, but oh well. you can’t force her to stay.
“i better head out, silco’s got me going up to topside tomorrow morning for god knows what. thanks for the chat.” she announces, sliding a few coins your way.
“good luck with that.” you smile. “and if you ever need a drink, you know where to find me.”
she chuckles at you as she shoves the door open, and you see something in her smile that you’ve never seen before. a small gap in between her two front teeth, the cutest little addition to her scary, stoical face. as soon as she’s out of the door, you sit on the ground behind the bar and hold your head in your hands again. jesus christ, was that the love of your life flirting with you? if only she knew how much you liked her.
the idea of calling the girls and telling them what just happened tempts you, but they don’t know that you’re head over heels for her. and what if they are? what if one, or even all three of them see her as more than a customer? you don’t wanna make things weird, so you stand up and head to babette’s office to bid her farewell for the night.
her office is small and dimly lit, but cozy. she smiles at you warmly as you step inside, quickly thanking you for your time earlier, and wishing you a good night. all of your dread seems to float away from your body as you walk home, the bitter frost of the night doesn’t sting your fingertips, but instead the butterflies in your stomach warm them.
if you thought your sleep last night wasn’t restful, tonight is so much worse. not that you mind, though, because the thing keeping you up is sevika’s deep voice repeating things like i didn’t call you a hot bartender for nothing. and you could keep me waiting til the end of time. you can’t help but giggle into your pillow like a lovesick fool, and when the time rolls around again, you can’t wait to go to work. which is something you never thought you’d feel.
you spend your trek to work enjoying the afternoon sun and the birds that chirp into the atmosphere. the girls are all feeling better today— which is a little strange considering it’s only been 24 hours of them being sick— but you don’t question the kinds of drugs they take. they love their job and you love them, so why complain?
a few stragglers hang around your bar as the afternoon turns to evening, and you get a few extra coins from a couple who tips very generously. but your eyes are fixated on the clock, counting down the hours until evening turns to late night, when you get to see sevika. you wish you could ask about her, get to know her more, but who would you ask? you don’t know if she has friends, although she works for silco and practically babysits jinx, but there’s no way in hell you’d ask them, in the rare case you ever come across them.
so you have to settle for her seeking you out behind the bar, which you pray time and time again will happen again. and it does, somewhat, because when she walks in the door tonight, she nods at you with a flick of her head and winks.
sevika winks at you.
the marble countertop of the bar catches you as you almost fall forward. god, i want her to do that again, you think. you sit up on your stool, squeezing your thighs together and widening your eyes in an attempt to be able to see straight. your sisters snatch her away again, but fuck, she looked at you.
for the first time since she started coming in, you don’t feel jealous. you feel hopeful. sevika knows you now, and she likes you, even if she’s not obsessed with you in the same way you are with her. the back of your hand muffles your smile, you can’t wait until her 60 minutes are up and you get to see her again, and you really hope she winks at you again. or does something even better, like blows you a kiss, or gets down on one knee with a ring, or recites you a personal love poem.
but the gods are on your side tonight, because the four of them saunter out of their suite about half an hour early and come to surround your bar. they all have this awkward expression on their faces, one that says they’re guilty and they need your help keeping a secret. you push it aside though, because they probably just think it’s weird that you’re seeing them in such a vulnerable state. you don’t think it’s weird though. you work at a brothel, for fucks sake, and you’ve seen some pretty crazy things, and it’s not like you’re a virgin, although you admittedly don’t have much experience.
“glad to see you all are feeling better,” you greet. “and sevika, welcome back.”
she smiles, her mech arm rattling slightly. the girls all exchange a look at each other, “yeah, thanks.” crystal says, reaching up on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around your neck in a hug. monica nudges ivy as she giggles, and sevika grins into her lap, human fingers fiddling with her metal fingers.
“oh fuck, don’t tell me you guys are in trouble again.”
“no, nothing like that.” crystal assures you.
“then what’s with the looks? you guys all look guilty as hell.”
“we’re just glad to see you again, that’s all.” monica smiles, one of her perfect, dark curls falling into her face gracefully.
you cringe, painfully aware that none of their stories are adding up. “so… can i get you anything?” you ask.
“well, uh—”
“not for us—”
“maybe lat—” they all say simultaneously. sevika is silent, giggling as quietly as she can into her lap, and completely avoiding eye contact with you. she looks up and raises her eyebrows at them, a silent signal for them to… do something.
“i think we’re gonna go now, but you two have fun!” crystal says, and they all run back down the hallway, giggling and tripping over one another in their heels as they do.
“what on earth is up with them?” you ask sevika.
“it’s nothing,” she says with a laugh. “or… maybe it’s something? i’m not too sure either.”
you slide her a glass of whiskey, just like you had last night. “this one’s on the house.”
“will you at least let me tip you?”
“well, i’m not saying no.” you grin, and she smiles at you again, and you hope that image of her is burned into your memory forever. she’s beautiful, it’s not hard to recognize that, but it’s a different feeling when you get to admire her up close. like a painting, you see images and replicas of them everywhere, but seeing them with your own eyes is always breathtaking. you can see every brushstroke, every small detail you hadn’t before, and it really comes to life.
“how long have you worked here?” she asks, derailing your train of thought.
“only a few months, but i’ve been bartending for longer.”
“you do an amazing job.” she compliments, flashing one of those grins at you again.
“oh please, you practically live at the last drop, and i poured that whiskey straight out of the bottle.”
she shrugs and rolls her eyes, “shut up and take the compliment.”
you have no choice but to giggle, and if sevika wants you to shut up, you shut up.
“i meant what i said last night— about you being a hot bartender, even though you didn’t seem to believe me.”
“why should i believe you? i wasn’t aware that you knew i existed until last night.” you retort.
“wish it were the same way for me, all i’ve been hearing about is you for months.”
“not my fault you like them so much.”
“i do, but i like you too.”
“i still don’t offer any services, if that’s what you’re getting at.” you say, letting her down easy, although you’d gladly offer her your services, you just wanna play with her for a while.
“of course not.” she smiles. “not unless you change your mind.”
you almost choke on your own spit. your heart pounds in your chest, and you’re 100% sure she can hear it right now. you giggle and hide your face in your hands, trying to keep your mouth shut for a few seconds before you leap over the bar and jump her bones.
“is that what they put you up to? to come sit here and flirt with me?”
“well, i’m not saying no, either. but i’m being genuine.”
you giggle again and punch her flesh shoulder over the counter, praying it’s not painfully aware how strongly you’re blushing right now. “no way you’re sitting here telling me about how badly you wanna get in my pants, when you just kicked out your own prostitutes.”
she shrugs, the scars on the side of her face slightly scrunching up as she smiles. “i can’t help it,” she laughs. “you charm me too much.”
“sevika!” you almost shout, completely baffled and astounded at her flirting. your mouth hangs open as you think of what else you can say, but nothing comes to mind.
“it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, but i think you should at least know the effect you have on other people.”
you lean forward on the counter, holding your warm cheeks in your hands. “you should know the effect that you have on people.”
“i do, i’m very aware of it. especially from you.” she taunts leaning forward until your eyes are only inches away from hers. you peek up at her and almost faint, again, because her eyes are such a pretty, soft silver. and her lips are so pretty too, angular and smothered in a rich, deep brown lipstick. she notices you staring at her lips and smirks down at you. “can i kiss you?” she asks.
“i— wha—? yes. please.” you say, desperation and lust lingering in your voice. and her lips are on yours before you can even register it. suddenly all of the thoughts running through your mind, and there are a lot of them, cease to exist. because her lips are on yours, finally, and they’re so soft. she tastes spicy, almost, like tobacco and whiskey, but there’s a hint of something sweet, like honey or cinnamon.
she pulls away first, although you wish the two of you could be conjoined at the lips for the rest of time. “i wanna do that again.” you manage to choke out.
sevika chuckles at you, “not right now. not when you look like you’re about to faint, or die, even.”
“i’m sorry.” you whisper, holding your head in your hands.
“for what?” she asks, a twinge of concern in her voice.
“for making a fool of myself.” you laugh, hands covering your eyes as you refuse to look at her again, because maybe you will die.
“i can’t disagree with that,” she teases, and you can hear the smile in her voice. “but it’s no big deal.”
“sevika. get the fuck out of my bar before you kill me.” you threaten.
“alright.” she obliges, “but i’ll be seeing you tomorrow, whether you like it or not.”
“get! out!” you whisper shout, lifting your head up to meet her gaze for the last time tonight.
“leaving right now.” she laughs, turning on her heel to exit the building before you faint in her arms.
it takes you a few minutes to reorient yourself, but you take a few deep breaths and small sips of water before the girls come clambering out of their room again. you’re dreading the conversation that’s about to come, especially because you’re not sure if they’re up to something or not.
“sooooo…” ivy prompts. “how’d it go?”
“nothing happened. nothing important, at least.” you answer with a groan, starting to tidy up the lobby before you leave for the night.
“really?” monica frowns. “is that why you’re wearing some new lipstick?”
you sigh and roll your eyes, there’s no getting out of this tonight. “just tell us, please! we wanna know!” ivy begs.
“yeah, we won’t make fun of you too much.” crystal adds.
“okay, yeah, she flirted with me until i got dizzy, and then she kissed me to make it even worse.” you admit. “but i know you fuckers had something to do with it.”
“well, yeah. we had to give her the confidence to do so. she’s had a crush on your for like… forever.” monica grins.
“you guys are liars!” you laugh, exasperated. “stop fucking around with me, please.”
“we’re not fucking around with you, we’re being honest. and you should go home before you start freaking out.”
“i can’t go home yet, i need to finish closing.”
“we’ll do it, get the hell out of here!”
and how could you say no to that? so you leave, and you smile the whole way home as you replay that moment in your head. it was just like you imagined, minus all the parts where you embarrassed yourself. but it doesn’t even matter, the love of your life kissed you. on the lips. even better than her winking at you. better than you could’ve foreseen.
for once, you sleep soundly, your mind is at a perfect balance to do so. giddy enough to not be overcome with anxiety, but embarrassed enough to have some sort of weight in your gut, not letting the butterflies carry you away. you’re in such a deep sleep, that you’re not amused when the phone rings again. peeling the comforter off of you, you rise and yank the phone off of the wall, getting deja vu from only a few nights ago.
“hello?” you ask with a little bit of sass in your voice.
“we can’t come in again, we’re sick… again.” crystal says.
“all of you? but you were fine yesterday.”
“well, it got worse or something, i dunno, but you’re on your own today.”
you sigh, already dreading the fact that your shift is gonna drag on without them. oh well, at least sevika promised she’d be there. “okay…” you bark. “get well soon, call me if you need anything.”
“yeah, bye, good luck!” she almost squeals.
you trudge back to bed, willing yourself to get a few more hours of sleep, although it’s nearly noon and you should get up soon. you ignore the clock, shoving your face in your pillow in an attempt to block the sunlight out from your eyes. but now you can’t sleep, you’re thinking about how you and sevika are gonna be alone together again, but this time you’ll have to face yesterdays events.
when your alarm rings, you groan, and then take a second to scream into your pillow, praying your apartment neighbors don’t worry too much. you dress in your usual work uniform, black shirt, cargos, non-slip shoes. sevika must see something really special in me, you think, because there’s no way she’s choosing me over everyone else in this town.
for breakfast, you guzzle down half of a protein shake followed by two anxiety pills, and then you brush your teeth for an extra few minutes today, just in case. and maybe you accidentally sprayed more perfume than you usually do, but nobody needs to know that. you shove your shoes on, mentally preparing yourself for what could be one of the worst days of your life.
strangely, suspiciously, yet to your luck, none of ivy, crystal, or monica’s regulars come in to visit them. you start to suspect they did it on purpose, although it seems impossible. but if they did, those girls are crazy and you don’t deserve them. in fact, the brothel is empty nearly the whole day. as soon as the other girls clock out, nobody comes in at all. not until sevika shows up when she usually does, and she’s the first drink you pour all day.
“i missed you,” she sighs, heading straight for her usual barstool.
“i… missed you too. did they tell you they weren’t gonna be here tonight?” you ask.
“uhh— yeah, they did. but i wanted to spend my evening with you, anyways.”
“oh, well i’m flattered. but i didn’t know you kept in touch with them like that.”
“well…” she starts, looking to the side in an attempt to conjure up something to say. “never mind.”
you slide her a usual glass of whiskey, and she thanks you. “i never got to tip you last night.” she frowns.
“yeah, sorry, i kinda freaked out on you.”
“it’s okay, i’m sorry if i’m weirding you out or if we’re moving too fast or anything, but i did mean it. i meant what i said and i meant to kiss you, i wasn’t drunk or anything.”
“i meant it too, although i wouldn’t have overreacted if i could’ve helped it.” you giggle, suddenly completely aware of the fact that you’re flirting with her again. right now. and she kissed you. and now you have something together.
“i was thinking i could tip you tonight.” she smirks, eyeing you up and down again.
“oh, please. you know you get free drinks from now on.” you say, rolling your eyes at her kindness.
“i’m honored, although i was thinking about a different way to repay you.” she says, licking her lips as she slowly starts to walk toward you.
you’re frozen in place, your knees tremble as you realize what she means. her nose brushes yours as she finishes approaching you, and you can’t help but lurch forward to connect your lips to hers. she kisses you back with all of her might, and you almost slip and fall as she slides her tongue into your mouth. she tastes even better now. stronger and deeper and sweeter, and you start to crave it as soon as you taste it.
it isn’t long before you have her pinned against the countertop, shoving your tongue down her throat as she whimpers into your mouth. a loud crash echoes through the room, and you shiver as soon as you feel the whiskey splattering against your pants. “fuck,” you grunt. she whines when you pull away to assess the damage, but the glass isn’t shattered too much, and there’s only a small puddle under your feet.
“mmmh…” she whines when your mouths meet again. “let’s take this somewhere— mph!! somewhere else.”
and that’s how you find yourself stripping her naked with your teeth, the two of you sprawled out on a heart shaped bed. her shirts are always short and extremely revealing, but you still gasp and twitch when her abs are finally revealed to you. her v-line is thick and deep and it leads a perfect trail to her dripping hole, as if her thick, dark happy trail wasn’t enough.
“the rope.” she chokes out, and you don’t waste a single second, tying her hands together and then above her.
with her arms bound, you have more freedom to undress her without her squirming and getting in your way. as soon as her pants are off, you notice a dark, wet patch in the center of her boxers. “like what you see?” she teases. you gulp and nod, suddenly unable to form any words. “get the strap.” she demands. and who are you to say no to her?
you manage to buckle it up before everything really catches up to you. she’s smirking below you, watching as you pathetically ogle her thick shoulders, puffy, brown nipples, taut abs, and quivering, wet hole. “so? are you ready?” she prompts. as soon as she says the word, you can’t control yourself. you slide into her incredibly easily, slick dripping down her ass and making a puddle underneath her already.
your hips snap into hers, it’s messy and uncoordinated and you don’t really know what you’re doing, but sevika loves it. she’s on cloud nine, writhing and whimpering and squeezing her eyes shut as you pound into her. “mmm, sevika, is it good? am i doing good?” you ask.
“so good.” she assures you, panting. “so fucking good, gonna make me cum and we’ve just started.”
“fuck!” you gasp, and you’re squirming on top of her as your own orgasm hits you like a train. it came out of nowhere, but it’s the most intense one you’ve probably ever had. as if all of those times you’ve desperately rubbed your aching clit to the thought of her were for nothing.
“keep going.” she whines. “please, you’re doing s-so good for me, i’m so fucking close.”
something comes over you. something rough and dirty and animalistic. you yank the strap off, hardly bothering to unbuckle it beforehand. she whines again, wishing she still had your cock plugging her up, but she can’t complain when you sit your cunt on top of hers, your shared mixture of slick making an unholy wet smacking sound. never in a million years did you expect sevika’d be such a sacrificial angel, a dirty slut with needs.
her hard clit twitches when it meets yours, and she moans so loud you’re sure it can be heard outside of the building. at least nobody else is here, inside, or you two would get busted. “how long have you wanted to do this?” she asks.
“f-for such a long time.” you admit. “i’ve been needing it so badly, sevika.”
“how… how badly? hmm?”
“you don’t even know.” you whimper. “i would listen to you in here whenever i needed it the most. and sometimes i’d watch you leave half undressed and wish it was me who did that to you.” you slide herself against her as deeply as you can, and you’re practically humping her like a dog at this point. the pair of you only get more soaked until sevika’s clenching her legs around yours, locking you in place as she cums so hard she can’t see straight.
as soon as she comes down from her orgasm, she says something quick and muffled like “ididitonpurpose” but you don’t quite hear it.
“i did it on purpose to fuck with you.” she sighs, repeating herself more clearly now. “i’ve had my eye on you for such a long time, i thought you’d eventually pick up on it and make a move, but you never did. so i started fucking with you instead.”
“what?” you ask, completely appalled. “are you kidding?”
“no, most of the nights i’ve spent here has been me and the girls plotting on how to fuck with you the hardest. notice how none of their other customers are here? and how they mysteriously recovered from their illness for a day until catching it again?”
“wait, so is this a prank?” you ask, brain fuzzy from having sex with sevika but also from finally piecing things together.
“well, not this.” she says, gesturing with her head to your mutually nude bodies tangled together. “but they helped me plan the evening, yes.”
“you… fucker!” you shout, a light giggle following after. “am i really that blind?”
“i guess so.” she shrugs. “now, are you gonna untie me so i can show you what my arm can do, or are you gonna sit there with your jaw open like that.”
you smack her shoulder playfully, ducking down and settling yourself on her lap for a final makeout session before you have to give up your top duties for the night. not like you care, though, because her arm can do some pretty cool tricks, and she tips you well nearly every night from now on.
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author’s note: tehe haiii i didn’t wanna add this at the beginning cause i always yap too much, so if you made it all this way THANK YOU FOR READING 🤭 i luv you guys so much and i love our little sevibear… apologies for teasing the hell out of this and taking forever to finish LMAOOO oops. anyways special shoutout to my 3 favorite mutuals (you know who you are) for giving me motivation to finish this, i love you guys the mostest mwah mwah mwah y’all are wayyyyy too nice to me and i appreciate you more than you know <333 comments and reblogs are very appreciated!!!! lmk what you thought!!!!!! thanksssss 🫶
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piplupod · 11 months ago
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my sister has taken to calling really fucking normal ass opinions "radically liberal" and i am so so so tired. so unbelievably tired. i thought university was supposed to turn u into a leftist, not just give you more language to shit on leftist politics. what the fuck.
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spitefullyjewish · 1 month ago
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Okay, this is my third time trying to put this into words. I am very upset, hurt, and honestly terrified. I’m about to share a lot about myself, my family, and a very scary situation happening right now, so for my own safety, I won’t provide too many details.
I live in a secondary city in a South American country. The Jewish community here is very small—around 5,000 people total out of over 50 million. In my city, which has over 3 million people, there are only about 300 Jews. We’re literally on the other side of the world from Israel.
We own a family business, a small clothing factory where we make knitted garments. It was founded by my grandmother 48 years ago. My father is the current manager, and both my sister and I work there. We employ around 80 people. We pay fair and legal wages (not the industry standard in my country), and although times are really hard, we’ve never missed a payment, not once in our 48 years in business. My father paused his own salary and hasn’t received a cent since January, and my sister and I both stopped getting paid for three months. But the people who work with us have always received their salaries as they should.
Now, today, September 30th, (just a couple of days before the start of our high holidays and exactly one week before the first anniversary of October 7th) the biggest and most important public university in my city, in conjunction with the syndicate council, invited the Palestinian ambassador to give a conference about the current situation and the war. Well, apparently, it derailed into open antisemitism and ended up as a conference about how Jews are all thieves and scammers. Because, I kid you not, back in the '90s, a huge group of my country’s biggest companies went bankrupt and couldn’t pay their employees what they owed. One out of about 30 of those companies was owned by Jewish people. So, of course, "we Jews are all liars, scammers, and thieves, just like the Israelis—always trying to take what doesn’t belong to us"
So, what conclusion did they reach at this conference about Palestine and the current war happening on the other side of the world? Well, naturally, they decided to target Jewish-owned businesses in my city (which means our factory and two other small businesses in our area) to protest and vandalize, because we’re all thieves and scammers, and Israel is bad and horrible, and everyone in my city needs to be made aware of that. When are they planning to come? October 7th, of course, when else?
The only reason I even know about this is that one of my Jewish friends decided to attend the conference to hear from the Palestinian ambassador and, risking their own safety, stayed to hear the names of the businesses that are going to be targeted.
I'm hurt and scared and I've been trying not to cry since I found out. These are the people on the left, these we were supposed to be my people, I've marched with them, I've worked and voted with them. I don't know what to do? Please, please tell me how are they different from actual Nazis? How is this situation different from any other jew living in Europe in the 1930's? I guess shannah fucking tovah to me, as if last year wasn't a wake up call. I am fucking awake.
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astonmartinii · 1 year ago
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witchy business | oscar piastri social media au
pairing: reader x oscar piastri
oscar's gf is a lil kooky but she puts solstice to good use and mainfests some luck for her bf
yourusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 31,094 others
yourusername: you're not really sisters if you've never done a ritual together ...
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user1 she's so mother
user2 i can't wrap my head around how her and oscar came to be but i love it
oscarpiastri don't have too much fun without me :(
yourusername tell your team to take out the no ritual clause from your contract i swear they're safe landonorris i heard your latin once IT IS NOT SAFE yourusername falsehoods !!
user3 does this girl have a job or is she just cosplaying ahs coven full time
yourusername i'm a florist, do you want my social security number and tax returns too?
danielricciardo any way you could like turn me into a real honey badger for a couple hours that sounds fun?
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oscarpiastri
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liked by yourusername, landonorris and 490,568 others
tagged: yourusername
oscarpiastri: some time off well spent with my love
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user10 i am once again asking - how did this happen?
user11 it's actually a really cute story they apparently went to school together and she still does a weekly bouquet for his mum and grandma. they're og sweethearts all that opposites attract jazz
landonorris don't even get a photo credit with all the trauma i experienced for that pic
oscarpiastri bro you barged into my room and took a photo? landonorris i didn't see any sock on the door oscarpiastri it was my own house?
yourusername i love every moment together with you
oscarpiastri that sentiment goes both ways xx user12 god i am so alone
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f1teaandgossip
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liked by 14,098 others
f1teaandgossip: with lando and oscar being reported as frustrated, how long do you think it'll be until they're linked with moves elsewhere and do you think the updates will improve the car?
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user15 they don't deserve this
user16 i don't wanna be that person but this is karma for what they did to daniel
user17 i honestly think magic might be our only chance
user18 @yourusername pls work some magic
yourusername on it 🫡 user19 now that's my favourite wag
yourusername
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liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 58,451 others
yourusername: the full moon is here and i'm bringing some luck to my baby
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user20 mother is here to save the day i know that's right
landonorris if this works i'll never say you're scary ever again
yourusername *when it works have some faith in the moon lando landonorris yeah i don't think i wanna mess with the moon
user21 that moment when the mcl60 is so bad that you start to believe in witchcraft
oscarpiastri i love you so much (p.s. thank you to the girls as well, i'll cover the next candle order)
yourusername i love you too honey - we're rooting for you yourbff1 we love you oscar yourbff2 i don't understand your sport but i love the wages cause candles !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
charles_leclerc so are you adept in curses? asking for a friend....
maxverstappen1 sure. yourusername i don't (but i can give you a good luck crystal) charles_leclerc i'll take anything at this point
mclaren
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liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri and 808,458 others
mclaren: WOOOOOOOOOOOO WE TAKE A 2 - 3 FINISH IN HUNGARY 🇭🇺 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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user26 i am bamboozled
user27 so .... it worked?
landonorris i have never said a bad word about y/n's hobby NEVER I LOVE YOU Y/N AND I LOVE THE MOON
oscarpiastri she's still MY girlfriend mate landonorris i am aware i am merely stating my appreciation for her
user28 i know the team just finally got their shit together... but YAAAAS WITCH SLAY
yourusername so so happy for you guys
oscarpiastri i love you so so so so much xxxxxxxx
user29 y/n is my driver of the day
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yourusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant and 68,349 others
tagged: oscarpiastri
yourusername: i love you so. forever proud.
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user31 fave couple FOR REAL
landonorris fine yall are so cute
oscarpiastri finally, only took a few months
user32 i need something like this in my life
oscarpiastri i love you more.
yourusername anything for you. even asking the moon for help with cars.
danielricciardo once again i am asking to be turned into a real honey badger for a couple hours
maxverstappen1 i think it's time to give up danny
note: idk what this is but lol i had fun - i shall get to the requests next, hope you enjoy !!!
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ghosts-bandwagon · 1 year ago
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141 + los vaqueros + könig with an s/o who is kind of naive and innocent being called dumb?? Just how they would react and comfort their s/o <33 thank you lovely!!!!
I love big strong men standing up for their sweet little s/o 😭
Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley:
You gotta have some kinda death wish
I can’t imagine him getting violent off whip, his main concern would be removing you from the situation and providing comfort
However, that doesn’t mean that he hasn’t memorized who that person is, their face, their voice, their tone, their words
And that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t track them down later and give them a piece of his mind
Before he does that, his concern is you, he’s got your favorite show playing and he’s telling you it’s not worth thinking about what they said, he wishes he can take his own advice but when you’re curled up against his chest sniffling with a quivering lip, he’s imagining how satisfying it would be to run his fist through their face
Once you’ve fallen asleep, he’s tracking them down and when he finds them, in seconds he’s gripping the front of their shirt, lifting them slightly, their back bruising against the wall he’s pushing them against
“If I ever hear your voice again, I’ll crush your fuckin’ throat, am I clear?”
John ‘Soap’ MacTavish:
He loves your sweet, good natured spirit, it gives him such genuine joy
He’s the only one that can poke fun at you because he’s not being malicious about it, it comes from a place of love and endearment
So when he sees a recruit making fun of you for it, he kinda loses it a little bit
Just like Ghost, his main concern is removing you from that situation but at the same time he’s pissed
So he’s wedging himself between you two with a strong emphasis on the person bringing you down, his chest is all puffed up, shoulders square, and he’s got the angriest look in his eyes
“Care to repeat what you said?”
He might not be as scary or intimidating as Ghost but that doesn’t mean that his strength is just for show either
The recruit backs away almost immediately but doesn’t get very far before Johnny grabs him by the collar of his shirt and pulls him back
“The next time I catch you even looking at them, you’ll be so fucking sorry.” The poison in his words thickening his accent in his throat and the poor idiot was tripping over his feet trying to get away
In seconds, Johnny turned to face you and wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pressed his lips to your forehead
“C’mon darlin, let’s get somethin’ sweet for my sweet somethin’.” He teased with a wink and a bump of his hips against yours
John Price:
He loves your innocence honestly, it’s so refreshing for him
Like the first drink of ice water after spending a day in the desert heat, it soothes him as much as it concerns him
He teases you about it both out of love and genuine concern, he’s not always around and it worries him how innocent and kind you are
And then while you’re all out getting drinks and wrapping up a hard day’s work, he sees you getting picked on, he sees your shoulders slump ever so slightly and he crossed the room in seconds
Honestly? He doesn’t even have to say anything, his body language, his demeanor, the vicious look in his eyes, all speak volumes to how bad this guy fucked up
He stood behind you, a hand on your shoulder and whispering loving words in your ear, you’re a little confused as you walk back to the group, looking over your shoulder, not thinking to look in front of you (luckily Johnny gets hold of you before you walk into someone)
You can’t hear what he’s saying but you get the sense it’s pretty bad considering the guy loses all color in his face and sweat starts to bead on his brow
You wave at John with a smile as he walks back to you, he gathers you in his arms and pulls you in for a kiss
An offer of home and comfort shortly followed
How could you possibly refuse?
Kyle ‘Gaz’ Gerrick:
Oh honey he’s poking fun at you very often, but always out of love, he loves your naivety and will often use it to tease you
He loves seeing you get all worked up, cheeks puffed up and an embarrassed blush on your cheeks when he calls you out on it, it warms his heart as much as it makes him wanna give you big ol’ smooch
However
He’s the only one allowed to do it
So when he sees one of the cadets try to pull one over you the way he does, but in a much meaner fashion that has embarrassed tears welling in your eyes, he sees red
He’s at your side in a matter of seconds, chest pushing against the other guy as he backs him away from you, he’s so angry he doesn’t know what to say, barely manages to put a filter on his words
“Think you’re so fuckin’ funny do ya? Makin’ ‘em upset, who the fuck do ya think you are?”
John has to step in and get between the two men, knowing full well how it’ll end, he physically turns Kyle around to face you and gives him a shove in your direction
Kyle takes your hand and walks away, grumbling all the while about how he should’ve punched the fuckers lights out, but when you lean into his side as you’re walking along, the anger starts to simmer and fade
It won’t be long before he’s mumbling an apology to you for how he reacted, just give him a kiss and he’ll be back to his normal self
König:
I mean… you gotta be some kinda stupid to mess with his s/o in any capacity, like have you seen him???
He’s never far from you, always in your peripheral or at your side, touching you in some way, it’s soothing for him to be around you and he knows you feel the same
So when he hears someone snap at you and call you dumb, he bites his cheek so hard he tasted blood
Without hesitation he pulled you away and behind him as he stood up at full height, glaring daggers at the man through the holes of his hood
He doesn’t even have to say anything, the angry rise and fall of his chest, the cold fury in his eyes, the way his fists clench and unclench at his sides are all indicators enough of his rage
The man couldn’t apologize and scramble away quick enough, tripping over a chair as he tried to make a hasty escape
König was frozen in place, so god damn angry that he couldn’t move, it took your small voice quietly calling his name for him to snap out of it, he turned to face you and gently took your hand in his, his thumb stroking over your knuckles
You smiled softly at him, even if he wasn’t looking directly at you, his eyes pinned to your hand in his, you gave it a gentle squeeze and he finally looked up at you
The adoration in your eyes enough to melt the fury and bring him back to himself, “Let’s go, schatz, you said you were hungry, yes?”
“A while ago, yeah.”
“Then let’s go remedy that.”
Alejandro Vargas:
Alejandro loves with his entire being, he’s so steadfast in his love that any slight against you, is a slight against him
“What the fuck did you say cabron?”
He’s up in arms almost immediately, hackles raised, nostrils flaring, fists clenched at his side and ready to swing
“Alejo, please, it’s fine.” He knew it wasn’t fine, he knew you wanted to put in a brave face but he didn’t miss the way your eyes watered or the way your jaw tensed when the insult was hurled at you
“No, amor, let him repeat himself. See if he’s man enough to say it again.”
He’s seeing red at this point, his heart is hammering in his chest and he’s ready to knock out the bastard
When he sees that the man is wide eyed, panicked, and stuttering out apologies, trying to gain some semblance of spine as he tries to make a hasty retreat, he backs off and moves closer to you
“Más le vale, cabron.” (Loose translation: that’s what I thought)
He’s got his arm around you and he’s walking you both away from scene,
“You didn’t have to do that, Ale.”
“What are you talking about, amor, of course I did. If you’re wounded, then so am I.”
“You’re so cheesy.” You teased with a small peck to his jaw, he chuckled and rested his head on yours as you both made your way home
Rodolfo Parra:
He’s too good for this world tbh he doesn’t give that idiot a second glance as he’s walking you away from him
He’s kissing your temple and shooting a glare over his shoulder, a promise of retribution in his eyes
“Don’t listen to them, mi vida.”
He’s nothing if not reassuring and comforting, he’s holding your hand and lovingly stroking it with his thumb
As he’s giving you a hug and kissing the top of your head, he’s thinking of all the ways he can wring the new recruit’s neck tomorrow
But that won’t stop him from spoiling you a little bit to cheer you up
Even if you’re insisting that you’re well over it and have moved past it, he’s just as insistent in getting your favorite food, watching your favorite movies
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wolfiesmoon · 11 months ago
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I can't sleep
Ran x good girl!reader
Do i want a bad boy (literal criminal) bf? Yea but i would probably cry if he insulted me or got into trouble in any capacity at all
(i am totally not unironically vibing to pretty little psycho while writing this)
edit: i made a part 2!!
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"I dare you to kiss Haitani Ran." Your friend nudged you.
You knew you shouldn't have agreed to this stupid game of truth or dare. You knew your friend was going to make you do stupid stuff like this.
"Like... the big scary delinquent guy?" You asked, hoping you heard her wrong.
"Yeah, that Haitani Ran." Your friend smirked mischeviously.
"How about I don't do that?" The last thing you'd want to do is get involved wth any delinquents or gangs. You have no idea how dangerous Ran could be and even if he wasn't you'd still refuse to kiss a good for nothing delinquent.
"Are you trying to get me killed?" you followed up, realising just how bad this dare could end up.
"You do know that refusing this dare means that you have to do anything I say for a week, right?" Your friend had a horribly evil look on her face. You don't even want to know the things she would make you do if you refused this stupid dare.
But is kissing Ran any better? Pick your poison, you suppose.
"Fine, I'll do it." You said behind clenched teeth, not at all happy about this outcome. You've never even kissed before, and now you have to kiss freaking Ran Haitani. You might actually die.
Why did you agree? What is wrong with you?
This might just be the worst day of your life.
You ended up being a little unfocused in class, making your teacher worry.
.
"Haitani-san." you call out to him, your voice dying off slightly at the end due to nerves. You're the only ones left in the classroom, with your friend watching from behind the door to make sure you actually do it. He looks back at you and you feel a shiver run through you.
Oh my god, you're actually doing this.
He stops, waiting to see what you want with him. You move closer to him, and his eyes narrow slightly, as if he's getting a good look at you.
"Now, what could the class president herself possibly want with me?" his tone was slightly mocking and you would have showed him you're not to be messed with but honestly you'd probably be the one losing in that scenario.
You inhaled sharply, pulling him down by his braids and planting a kiss straight onto his lips. This feels like a bad shojo plot, the "good girl" falls in love with the "bad boy" and kisses him all of a sudden. Except there's no romance involved here. Just a dare.
Is this how you kiss? Why does it feel so strange? That should be enough, right? You can feel your parents shaking their heads dissaprovingly already.
Ok, now you're just kissing him for way too long. It's time to let go. And you try to, you really do. Since when were his arms wrapped around your waist, anyways? And why isn't he letting you go?!
You can feel your friend's evil stare burning into your back. This is not amusing!
He laughed a little into the kiss, pulling you impossibly closer. Oh, so they're both going to enjoy your suffering now, you see how it is.
Still, kissing him isn't half ba-
Ok, you're actually losing it. You need out and fast.
You wriggled out of his grasp, running away as fast as your legs could take you. You heard both Ran and your friend yell something behind you but you honestly don't care.
Why did you ever agree to do this?!
.
That same thought persisted even as you tossed and turned in bed that night.
"Oh god, he's going to send his goons after me and I'm gonna die... And then I won't ever get to become successful..." you muttered to yourself.
"Or maybe he's gonna come and kill me myself after school tommorow... Ugh..." you can't come to school tired, you won't be able to pay attention in class that way. You can't ruin your perfect record by falling asleep in class.
Who cares about the perfect record?! You should be worried for your life!
"And what is that stupid noise, anyways?" you muttered, grumbling and getting up to inspect the source. Another stone hits the window, making you jump slightly. You walk to the window and open it, narrowly avoiding a stone that was thrown your way.
"Sorry!~"
Wait. You'd recognise that voice anywhere.
It's Ran.
"What are you doing here? How did you even get my adress?" you half yelled, not wanting to wake up your parents.
"You shouldn't sweat the little things. Come downstairs." he was smiling calmly, but you still couldn't tell if he was threatening you. Actually, is that his motorcycle parked next to him?
"You should probably put on a jacket too. It's real cold." he added on, and you nervously closed the window, quietly sneaking downstairs and putting on a jacket. Your pyjamas are not the most presentable, but you really don't want to test his patience right now.
You met him outside. What is he going to do to you now?
"Get on." he pointed to his bike, catching you off guard.
"Not without a helmet, riding a motorcycle without one can be really dangerous and you could lose your life." you couldn't help but bring up safety regulations. It's in your nature.
"I told you, don't sweat the details and just sit down." he completely ignored you, pushing you in the direction of the bike. You complied, sitting down on it awkwardly, not sure what to expect. He doesn't seem violent...
He sat down behind you, revving up the engine and just driving off without a care in the world.
"W-Wait!" you were shocked at the speed, grabbing onto him by instinct and missing the way his lips curved up at that.
"Where are you taking me?! I never consented to this!" you had to yell over the sound of the engine, shutting your eyes. He was right, it really is cold when you're riding on a motorcycle.
"And you know what I didn't consent to? That kiss." he replied and your face scrunched up a little, cringing at the not so distant memory. "But that's fine, because that means you're mine now."
"Huh?!" you finally opened your eyes, looking up at him. His expression was a little hard to make out since the only thing illuminating it was street lights that you were speeding past. Is he even following the speed limit?
"I value my sleep, you see. And that little stunt you pulled made me unable to fall asleep. So I figured I might as well give you a little visit." he placed a hand over you protectively, making you worry about your safety even more.
"Who would have thought the top of the class good girl would fall for me?" he looked down at you.
"I did not fall in love with you! It was a dare!" you shot back.
"Oh well, doesn't matter. You're my girl now. And that's that."
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