#honestly Astarion deserves something like that all things considered

[tiafrye]

Skinny dipping morphed from Shart 💦

[hijackalx]

Headcanons for Gale, Astarion, and Gortash: What are nicknames/petnames you can see them giving their lover and what would their lover call them in return?

ASTARION

GIVING: omgggg this dude will call you every petname in existence. he loves the sweet ones because he thinks you’re so STINKIN CUTE !!!!!! 👹 (yes he gets cute aggression). i think his all time favorite is ‘darling’ obvs, but he likes to switch it up for sure. like i can see him calling you ‘pumpkin’ or ‘sweet thing’. shit just throw ‘pookie’ in there too LMFAOO. he also likes to put ‘my’ or ‘little’ in front of them. or both. absolutely coos over you

RECEIVING: unfortunately he would throw up in his mouth if you called him the sickly sweet petnames he calls you LMAO i honestly feel like he’s the type to cringe if he’s called ANY petname 😹😹😹 but i do think he tolerates stuff like ‘dear’ or ‘honey’. also shortening his name to ‘star’ occasionally is alright with him. regardless of what you call him he appreciates the thought and thinks it’s kinda sweet, even if it does make him gag 😹💗

GALE

GIVING: he’s a sucker for the classier, more dignified petnames (picture him looking at astarion in horror after he calls you some shit like ‘snookums’). he prefers stuff like ‘beautiful’/‘handsome’— ‘my love’ or ‘my muse’ are good ones too. he has you on such a high pedestal and thinks you only deserve the most tasteful petnames. i feel like he can get kind of corny with it too though 💀 just more poetically. if he’s feeling creative he’ll probably call you something like ‘my light in the darkest night’ HELPPP 😭😭 he’s so sweet though give him a break 😹😹😹

RECEIVING: ‘handsome’ hands down. i don’t know what it is but i just know this is his favorite. maybe it has something to do with you reassuring him of how handsome he is lol. it also flusters him a little bit when you say it, he gets all bashful and goes “oh, stop it” while trying to hide his smile 😹💗 i think he also likes ‘babe’ too, it’s cute and casual but not goofy

GORTASH

GIVING: i feel like his favorite time to use petnames for you is when you’re in public or around other people. like to him it’s almost a means of showing ownership LMAO. of course ‘dear’ is one he really likes generally. he also lovessss to use ‘little’ or ‘my’ in front of them as a display of possessiveness or power; ‘my little dove’, ‘my dear girl/boy/one’. i don’t really see him having a huge roster of petnames honestly? he’s more of a physical touch or gift giving kind of guy 😹😹

RECEIVING: daddy I’M KIDDINGGG (no i’m not. yes i am. no i’m not) i don’t know if he really cares what you call him. he’s pretty chill with any nickname or petname. he doesn’t take it too seriously or just considers it as you being silly. ALTHOUGH i think if you call him something often enough he’ll grow fond of it— i know a lot of people like to call him ‘gorty’ and i think he would grow to really love that honestly ? 😹😹💗 it becomes special to him because that’s what you call him, not really because of the petname/nickname itself

[enduringmoth]

If it’s not too much to ask and if u weren’t already planning on it, I’d love to hear that secondary post about the consequences of the party’s actions regarding Durge’s reveal 👀👀 the first post rly resonated with me and honestly I’m a little obsessed with the idea of what drastic actions a redeemed!urge might take in the face of rejection,,, it was a rly interesting read nonetheless!

hello there!! i'm happy to talk a little more about it, absolutely! ^^

for those who didn't peep at the tags of my last post, in which i discussed how painful it must be to a seeking-redemption durge to be so heavily rejected by the party, i wrote in the tags:

this might not be exactly what you were looking for but i will do my best!

at the absolute least, i believe the minimum consequences of this interaction involve durge shutting down and withdrawing from most of the group. thinking in particular of my seeking-redemption durge, asha, she carries guilt interwoven with resentment -- she knows she has done wrong and that she deserves to bare the brunt of their rage, but she is also so furious with the idea that these people do not know how much she has done for them since waking up in that pod.

how many urges has she squashed? how many easy kills has she passed up on? does anyone other than gale (her romance interest) even begin to comprehend how painful it was to resist killing isobel, killing gale himself, and yet she did it anyway? because it was the right thing to do?

and yet here, when they all learn the truth -- durge included! they have fucking amnesia! -- it's almost like not a soul left there cares that they've clawed and fought and bled for the entire party at every point.

i think a lot about the dialogue durge has with astarion the morning after realizing they're a bhaalspawn. of all of the companions, he is the only person to realize something is wrong from minute one, and he asks about their sleep and their weights they carry. he then proceeds to empathize with durge, saying they are alike, and that he believes they will succeed.

and yet it seems no one else in the party feels the same, and that has to be agonizingly isolating for durge.

now, onto gortash.

at this point in act 3, the durge has (likely) found the prayer for forgiveness in balthazar's lab in act 2. this scrap of their past lets them know enver gortash was a source of tension in their following of bhaal, enough that they are begging for forgiveness from their father over their admiration and fondness for him.

for us durgetash enjoyers, this is a romantic entanglement. for those who do not see their relationship as romantic, it's still a clear platonic attachment for durge that shook their faith in bhaal's plans.

the people who have traveled with the durge for weeks are (seemingly) regretting that decision, and blaming them for things they cannot recall doing. enver gortash greets them like a friend, offers them a metaphorical and literal hand, reaching out to them when others are pulling away.

at minimum, it creates tension. gortash is "bad" and their party members are "good", right? certainly the durge cannot go on to support gortash in damning the world when that's the "wrong" thing to do -- right?

and yet.

if even those who the durge may have started to believe should be able to understand and accept them, due to having similar-enough struggles in their own past with domineering patrons/gods/masters -- if even they cannot understand, what hope is there for anyone else in the world besides enver gortash offering them that same acceptance?

why save a world that cannot and will not open its arms to you?

thusly, the next step is for the durge to minimum consider what gortash is offering. for me, the durge is most likely to kill orin before gortash anyway, so the first steps here are simple.

depending on how the party continues to respond, the wedge may deepen or back out. depending on how the durge continues to be exposed to enver gortash, they may be more drawn into him or pushed away.

another step up (or down, as it were) would involve who orin kidnaps. we know that she may take gale, halsin or lae'zel, or take the child, yenna.

a particularly bitter durge might let them die. why waste their breath on someone who could not find it in their heart to forgive them?

we proceed apace. i know it's (huge spoilers ahead) canon that gortash is slain by the netherbrain. but if we pretend that that can be avoided one way or another, i believe the second-to-most-nuclear option here is the durge taking over the world with gortash as he originally suggested. in turn, choosing to reject redemption (largely, considering they are still sparing gortash and bhaal wants everyone dead) purely because the party could not see them as redeemable.

(and let's not even get STARTED on how this would involve killing astarion too, the one party member who even got close to seeing her, because the pain drowned out his love too entirely.)

the most nuclear, of course, would be the durge deciding they could not even trust gortash, and instead killing him and embracing bhaal entirely, drowning the entire world in blood as bhaal would have wanted.

now, the bittersweet twist on all of this would be something of a happy ending with a redeemed gortash twist, as so many of us love. perhaps the wedge drives them closer to gortash, but along the way the party is able to prove their willingness to support and accept the durge. but now durge is tangled up in enver, and the only path forward, it seems, is to attempt to free both the chosen of bhaal and the chosen of bane from their masters.

(essentially the consequences of their semi-betrayal being that durge gets in too deep with gortash and they (read: karlach, mostly) have to accept that, but they all live happily ever after because the power of friendship yadda yadda-- my durgetash brain needs a crumb of fluff now and then.)

anyway, this is as disjointed as my sanity but i do hope you got some enjoyment out of it!

[alpaca-clouds]

Let's try to get some perspective

Okay, let me quickly talk about it, because I saw this coming up again and again. And don't get me wrong, I absolutely do get the anger about Larian going: "Alright, we will start to slowly step back from further updates on BG3." I get it.

Because, yes. The companions, who are not Shadowheart or Astarion do deserve more work on their questlines (especially Karlach and Wyll, who very much are underwritten right now). There are some story threads left hanging, too. And yes, we all can name at least one NPC, for whom we would want a bit more content. Also, yes, there are still some bugs that make the game crash for some users, which sucks as well. (A friend of mine cannot play the game. It crashed as he entered act 2 last October and he has been waiting for an update that allows him to continue playing ever since - and it still does not work.)

But... Please also consider, that Larian already gave us a lot more in terms of support and updates, than most studios will do. Especially in terms of story and quality of life updates. I honestly have never been part of a game community with anything near the associated cost of a game like BG3, that did not only release several updates for story and characters after the game release, but did this for free. Like, sure, this is the kinda stuff I have come to expect from some Indie studios, but not a studio that is AA.

Basically no other big CRPG has ever given us so much in terms of updates and support. At least in a long, long while. Usually games get shipped out broken and unplayable (looking at you, Cyberpunk 2077) and then over months get fixed into a somewhat playable state, before support ends. But with not much in terms of story or quality of life updates.

And you have to see that the big issue with those big ass Patch updates is, that they do cost a lot of money, and do not really bring in that much. So the return on investment is not the best. And sadly Larian, too, lives under a capitalist system. They need to make money to keep existing as a studio.

Now, of course. Most of us (maybe not me specifically, but a lot of folks) would love some DLC for BG3. Let us explore the hells with Karlach and Wyll, visit the vampire spawn in the Underdark - or something like that. And given that Larian could absolutely monetize such a DLC and people would love it.

My personal theory is that due to WotC firing all the people working with Larian, they just are so done with the entire WotC thing. Which I get. Believe me, I get it.

But in general... They do not owe us and DLC. Just as they do not owe us BG4 or whatever.

Would I personally love them take on another DnD/Forgotten Realms game? Yeah, absolutely. But again: I get it, if they look at the burning dumbster fire that is WotC and go: "Yeah, no."

And they will still fix bugs for a while. That is the one thing that they do arguably owe. Given that for some people those bugs are gamebreaking, and who paid for the game should be in their right to actually play it. But everything else?

And don't get me wrong: I absolutely do have loads of criticism for them. Especially in regards to the lack of body diversity in the game, the lack of PotC characters, and how underwritten some characters are (again: Wyll and Karlach). There is tons of stuff to criticize. But... you know, it is still okay for them to move on. And yes, it sucks how underwritten the two PoC companions are (reminder: Karlach is Asian), and it feels at the very least like bias. And I do hope Larian will do better with PoC characters in future games. But... Let's be honest, it was always unrealistic to expect, that they would do the massive updates needed to properly flesh out those two storylines.

[tieflingtareon]

My love, are you the devil? (Oh, call me a devil)

Chapter 27 | Words: 5.2k

Summary: Astarion found himself often surprised by his heroic companion. He had one goal. To become the favoured companion of the group, to earn the Tieflings loyalty, to make Tar'eons strength his own. Yet Tar'eon isn't like the usual target of his manipulations. Despite his naivety, he does not seem gullible. There is something very wrong with their 'leader' to begin with. Astarion isn't sure if he wants to control it or eradicate the threat it posed. But can he really do either when Tar'eon himself seems so...unwaveringly kind?

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50668558/chapters/127995079

Tar'eon didn't have his own tent, so he hid away in Astarion's. It was vacant, and if he was honest, he wasn't sure he could stand talking to anyone else right now. He curled up in the piles of clothes, head on the stolen pillow and wrapped up in the blanket from the inn, nestling himself down to sleep. It wasn't even midday but he didn't want to think anymore. For once, he wanted to sleep dreamlessly.

By some miracle, he managed to sleep for a bit before he awoke to the tent opening, sunshine draping across his features.

"There you are." Astarion tutted. "You know, it's quite rude to enter ones abode without permission."

"I needed to be alone, and I don't have my own tent."

"Right, because you prefer sleeping under the stars." Astarion mused and closed the flap behind him, sitting beside the tiefling. "So...are you going to tell me why you suddenly deserted us out there? Oh, by the way, Karlach personally invited Yenna and her cat to stay with us. I told her we have enough strays, but Wyll backed up her decision so..."

"I'm glad she's here, rather than alone." Tar'eon turned to properly face Astarion, sighing. "It's just...seeing Orin - it shook me up. I've never felt so...angry before. In my life. Something about her gets under my skin, and I was afraid of what I'd do. I almost killed that smith."

"Yes, that was...honestly? Quite arousing. Terrifying, but arousing. You really should threaten people more often."

"Astar."

"Right, apologises." Astarion clicked his tongue. "She had a lot to say to you, that shapeshifter."

"Yeah..."

"She called you 'sibling'. Remarked on your father."

"She did."

"Are you going to tell me why she'd say such a thing or...?" Astarion gestured for him to explain, but Tar'eon had nothing to say.

"I don't know. I don't remember. But I know my memories? She took them. She scrambled with my brain and now...I know nothing." He hated her. 'Sister' or not. "Maybe she meant sibling in a different sense. We certainly don't look alike."

"Well, considering you share a father apparently..." Astarion frowned before smirking. "At least I'm not the only one who'll be having a family reunion."

"Gods, I hope not." Tar'eon pinched his brow.

"We still have four hours of daylight...Perhaps a trip to the circus would help take your mind off things?" Astarion mused and Tar'eon chuckled.

"A circus? I don't recall ever going to one."

"Karlach is begging to go, I beg you to save me from this." He pleaded and Tar'eon gave it a thought. The circus...after all the crap they'd been through, a circus sounded quite nice honestly. A day off, if anything. They deserved one of those.

"We should go."

"Ugh, I was hoping you'd say no."

"Then why ask?" Tar'eon grinned, amused but Astarion's pout.

"Because I was trying that 'nice' thing you keep encouraging." Tar'eon shook his head fondly and sat up to kiss Astarion softly.

"I appreciate it. Come on. I don't want to slump about over this. Maybe going out will help."

"That's the spirit. No point in being a depressing lump in my tent."

Tar'eon chuckled. Astarion had played him like a fiddle. But for once, it was to benefit him rather than himself. That was an improvement when it came to his silver tongue.

****

"I'm not wearing that." Astarion refused as Tar'eon crept closer with the face paint.

"Come on! You're supposed to be hiding anyway, aren't you?" Tar'eon grinned.

"I'd rather be found by Cazador than wear that crap on my face."

"Oh, oh, me! Let me!" Karlach insisted, pointing at her own face. Tar'eon laughed and began painting her face with a steady hand. "Oh, it's cold!"

"Everything's cold compared to you, Karlach." Shadowheart chuckled and stole some paint for herself, happy to disguise herself given her current status as a traitor to Shar.

"You're right - I'll happily warm you right up, baby!" Karlach beamed at her girlfriend, and Shadowheart rolled her eyes but smiled anyway.

"Ugh - I'm going to go pick pocket some patrons, anything to escape this dreadful place." Astarion waved his hand and slipped away into a crowd of people. Tar'eon shook his head. He hoped he got caught.

He painted a giant blue butterfly across Karlach's face and she let out a squeal when she saw it.

"Amazing! Gods, I look good. You ever thought of taking up painting once this is all over?"

"I'm not that good." Tar'eon was flattered though.

"Karlach's not joking. You have some talent." Shadowheart assured. "Maybe you painted before."

"A painter and a bard - quite the creative person I was, huh?" Tar'eon mused. He probably painted with blood and charmed people to walk off cliffs with his flute, no doubt.

"You know, I don't think I've ever heard you play." Karlach frowned. "Can you?"

"Of course I can. I can play just about any instrument I put my hands if I put my mind to it. I just...prefer the flute." Tar'eon took his flute and frowned as he walked down the steps. He placed his lips to the mouthpiece and decided to play a cheerful, adventurous tune, eyes falling shut. He hadn't really played because he hadn't the time, or the privacy to. Yet when he put his lips to it, he could feel something connecting inside his brain.

A memory.

In his memory, the tune was softer. More mellow. There was no rush, no upbeat tick to it. Every note was drawn out, peaceful like walking along a riverbank beneath a full moon. Behind his eyelids, he could see a dark office, lit by candlelight. There was a presence behind him, he could feel it, but there was no fear. No anticipation. He was not in danger. The presence was as mellow as his song.

A warm hand curled around his throat, the cold claws sharp but not biting. His head fell back, and within the memory, darkness followed. He had closed his eyes. The music continued to play, air still leaving his lungs as his throat was cradled. There was submission in the act, something he knew was not freely given.

"Tir'yal...are you trying to charm me?" The music did not stop. The hand did not move. There was simply a chuckle, warm and low.

The memory faded into nothing, warped away, but Tar'eon could still feel the phantom hand on his throat as he pulled the flute from his lips. His upbeat tune had changed to that mellow one, and there were people crowding around him, looking mesmerizing.

"Wow..." Karlach breathed. "I don't think I've ever been moved by a flute solo before. Hells." She placed a hand on her chest. "I actually feel...almost cold."

"Was that your own song?" Shadowheart asked. "It was so...calming. Yet sad. I don't think I've ever entertained the flute as an emotional instrument before."

"I...I'm not sure if it's my song. I think it is." Tar'eon frowned, shaking his head. He couldn't get the memory out of his head. He hadn't realised playing his flute would open up more of his past to him. What else could he do to remember it? It was the only memory of his past that wasn't smeared with blood.

Who in Faerun was he? And who was the man with him? He used his infernal name with such ease...Like he knew the language well enough to call it his own.

"Whatever you were playing, it occupied the people well enough for me to nick a very pretty ring and some coin." Astarion grinned as he came to his side. "A beautiful song it was, darling. Perhaps I can show my talents at the piano one day. We'd make quite the duo."

Tar'eon smiled at the thought.

"I'd love to play with you." He could imagine in now, Astarion on the piano with his elegant fingers, Tar'eon with his flute pressed against his lips, creating a harmony together in a house they could call their own. It was a nice dream, and he hoped one day to experience it. He turned around to depart from the crowd and found himself stumbling over a few steps, righting himself in front of a woman with red hair - a druid. Or, he was definitely assuming druid with all the leaves and branches covering her modesty.

"Sorry, I-"

"This city of stone and steel is an endless scream in nature's womb. I have left no peace here." She turned to him and smiled serenely. "Until now. Your eyes, stira...there is pain, endless and deep. But also devotion - blazing like the sun. You're in love, are you not?"

Tar'eon stood straighter, his cheeks a touch hot at how easily she seemed to read him. It was a little unsettling, but there was little to hide from what he was guessing was a nymph - a dryad.

"I...yes. I am." There was no point in lying to the woman. "To someone quite close to me."

"You are wise to admit it. When it comes to love, vulnerability is armour. Truth, a sword. And trust, a shield." Tar'eon took in a deep breath, a little overwhelmed by her insight, but he understood. Love was not weakness. Being weak with the one you love was a strength in itself. To bare yourself before another...it was a risk that came with high rewards if you were lucky to bare yourself to the right person. "I pray you wield all three, stira."

Tar'eon smiled softly. It may be a sham she ran for the circus, but it made him feel good about putting his heart in Astarion's hands, even if they had conflicting views on power.

"Bring the one you love to me. I will look into your hearts and see if your love is eternal. Or doomed eternally." Tar'eon bit his lip. It was probably a scam. He doubted she would be able to know if Astarion and him were worth the journey, the pain and the healing, but...Gods, he wanted to have someone say it was. He wanted to know he was making the right choice with his heart, or if he was doomed to simply live with the heartache Astarion may bring him.

He turned to Astarion who was looking at the dryad sceptically, like he didn't quite think her predictions to be true, but when his eyes met his, they widened.

"Would you...like to try it? With me?" He offered his hand to Astarion and the vampire seemed surprised before he smiled, indulging Tar'eon.

"Oh my love, how could I say no?" He took his hand and came to stand beside him. Most circus' were full of scammers, sham magicians, but he didn't mind go through a little 'test of love' to make Tar'eon feel more secure in...whatever they were. Astarion didn't want to admit it to himself, but - he was also a touch insecure about their relationship. After the previous night, he felt like he was walking on eggshells, trying to ignore the forbidden ritual looming over their heads.

"Close your eyes, little ones. Be still as stone to earth. And remember to breathe."

"Do you think we could try next?" Karlach whispered to Shadowheart who smiled softly.

"I doubt she will be able to tell you anything I can't tell you myself about my feelings for you."

"Gods, I love you." Karlach grinned. "I still want to though."

"Alright, alright. Later."

Tar'eon closed his eyes, smiling to himself. Moments passed, and he only opened his eyes when he felt a shift in the air around him. A gentle breeze, the sound of a waterfall and running water - a lack of noise from the people around them. His hand was now empty as he looked around, finding himself in a peaceful hideaway of stone and moss, a tree trunk the only means to Astarion who stood on the other side with the dryad.

"Ah. Glorious. Your bond is sweeter than nature's dew. I see you. Know you. But do you know one another?"

"I know he's sweeter than nature's dew." Astarion joked, licking his lips and showing off his fangs in a grin as if to tease the dryad. Tar'eon suppressed a laugh, a finger to his lips as if to silence himself.

"Astarion: a tumultuous past hides behind a mirthful grin." Astarion made a small tutting sound at her insightful words. He didn't quite like being seen through so blatantly. "The heart is fraught, so let us begin with the joyous. When is he happiest?"

Tar'eon frowned, giving it a thought. When was Astarion happiest...?

"Well...I like to think he's happiest when we're alone. When he's being heard, listened to, and cared for. He likes fine things, and he like special treatment." Tar'eon mused before chuckling. "But I'd have to say he smiles most when elbow-deep in gore."

Astarion laughed, able to forget the personal part of his words in favour of the satisfying answer.

"Guilty as charged. Sometimes literally." Astarion shrugged with a smirk and Tar'eon walked closer, only pausing when the dryad spoke again.

"Your bond beats in pleasure. It is an honour to behold."

"Not the only kind of pleasure we get up to." Astarion quipped with a grinned. "Well, not recently, but the memories are good enough." He winked. Tar'eon shook his head, smile fond.

"Many things delight the heart, but only one makes it sing. Tell me, what does he desire more than anything?" Astarion frowned, looking away. He damn well knew the answer, but it wasn't one he'd like to be aired out like dirty laundry, thank you.

"Freedom." Tar'eon answered honestly. "That's all he's ever wanted. It's what he deserves."

"You're not wrong, but do we need to tell every stranger we meet our business?" Astarion narrowed his eyes and Tar'eon smiled as he walked closer.

"You're allowed your quips. I'm allowed my honesty." Astarion rolled his eyes.

"Our touch has been that of sunlight, but now we must ask the deep. The difficult. Fear sits in the soul of all - to tame it, we must name it. What is his deepest fear?" Tar'eon looked at Astarion, who was glaring at him, daring him to voice it out loud. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to chuck away the truth just this once. For his sake.

"Breaking a nail." Astarion laughed.

"Well, when you look this good..." He made a show of check his nails before his expression grew more serious, walking across the tree trunk to meet him. "Well, you were right every time. I almost wish you hadn't been, but...you do know me."

Tar'eon smiled and took his hand in his, squeezing gently.

"I press my fingers to your bond and find a shield - impenetrable. It is...beautiful." She sounded awed, and it made Tar'eons heart swell. "Your love is one few have - cherish it." She came closer, and then paused. "I only wonder if it is shared with such fervour."

The pair frowned, looking at her in confusion.

"Tar'eon...when is he happiest?" She was looking at Astarion now, who seemed dumbfounded to be asked such a personal question.

"I...Well..." Astarion actually looked embarrassed as he looked away from them both, Tar'eons hand holding his.

"You don't have to answer. I already know you care for me, Astar."

"Well...it's only fair to spill your dirty secrets in return." Astarion cleared his throat, licking his lips. "I...He's happiest when- when he's with his people." Tar'eons heart warmed, a small smile on his lips, but Astarion wasn't finished.

"He's happiest when he's talking to children, when an animal lets him get close, when he- when he can enjoy a good book in peace, and learn something new and - he seems happiest with...me." Astarion swallowed, heat burning the back of his neck. "Despite how much I'm sure I grate on his nerves."

"Even when I'm annoyed with you, I'm still happy to see you." Tar'eon agreed.

"Gods, you're a sap." Astarion scoffed like he hadn't said something so endearing just moments ago.

"You watch him close, for fear he may leave if you don't. He has made your heart beat again, and it is glorious yet terrifying." She seemed as if she was in love herself, her eyes almost starry despite their bright glow. "Tell me, what does he desire more than anything?"

Astarion bit his lip, sucking on it before he let go and huffed.

"Freedom. We're one in the same in that regard. He wants to be free of parts of himself, and I wish to be free of others."

"Perhaps there is more layers to be found within your partners desires." She mused and Tar'eons stomach churned.

"He was right. I do want to be free." Even if there was much more to it than that. "I want to be in control of my life, my actions."

"What is his deepest fear? The thing he fears above all else?" She continued, and Tar'eon watched Astarion, wondering what he'd say.

"He...he fears losing himself. Who doesn't?" Astarion had lost himself for years in his abuse, so many memories fuzzy from dissociation. From trying to get away in the only way he knew how.

"Perhaps there is something more terrifying than losing ones self?" She was talking to him this time, staring into his very soul, and Tar'eon swallowed hard.

"I...I fear losing him, even more than myself." He admitted. "I'm scared of become a monster; but I fear the monster devouring him more."

"The sword to the shield. Your love is both impenetrable, yet sharp. Where one protects," She gestured to Tar'eon. "The only defends." She smiled at Astarion who couldn't take his eyes off Tar'eon. "A perfect balance. All you need is the armour. Vulnerability. To truly bare yourselves to the other. Do not let secrets and insecurity fester and build a wall between you. Let truth and honesty by your bridge to one another."

She came closer, and the peaceful enclave disappeared, the sound of the city coming back to them. Tar'eon stared at her with wide eyes. He felt like he been stripped raw and put back together. She truly had dug down deep into them and forced them to face the matters at hand. Their love was not doomed - so long as they spoke to each other in truths and not falsehoods.

"Go in peace, seedlings. And know that you made one whose heart was long quiet beat with love anew." She smiled at them and Tar'eon nodded sharply. "And that you," She gestured to Astarion. "Have gained devotion and loyalty unlike any other you could conceive."

The pair stepped back from her, Tar'eon bowing his head in respect. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to say thank you or not.

"I..." Astarion looked lost for words.

"Me next! This is my girl, Shadowheart. We're ready to test our love, nature lady." Karlach grinned and Shadowheart shook her head, beyond amused.

"It can't hurt, I suppose - unless you embarrass me. Then you might find yourself hurting in a whole manner of ways."

"Hopefully only the good kind." Karlach winked. Tar'eon watched as the pair closed their eyes, turning to look at Astarion.

"You really feel that way?" Astarion asked, casting his gaze aside, unable to look into those mismatched eyes. "I...I knew you cared, but I never assumed I would be above your own life. I should have know, you've always had a gentle heart, trying to save everyone."

"You are above everyone." Tar'eon sighed, resigned to that fact of his life. "It's why I don't want you to do the ritual, Astar. Because I know I'll let you, and those deaths will never stop haunting me, knowing I could have stopped you from doing so. One persons life for several seems only justified, until you love that one person too much to ever hurt them."

"You would?" Astarion frowned. "If I did the ritual...you wouldn't leave?"

"I wouldn't. I'm not sure that's a good thing, though."

"I know you think this is only for power for me - but it's more than that. I'm taking everything from him. I will not be satisfied unless I inflict the same torture he inflicted on all of us. On me." Astarion scowled before his expression softened, looking up at Tar'eon. "I could give us so much more time, Tar'eon. If I ascended - you wouldn't have to fear hurting me. And I would never have to fear you dying long before I ever will. I could change you, make you my equal. Things could be perfect. Forever."

"And I would be haunted by the souls we damned, forever." Tar'eon reminded and shook his head softly. "I don't want to lose you. I fear messing with a devils contract will only bite us in the arse later. That you'll become someone different from the person I love."

"I won't." Astarion sighed, not sure how to get through to the man. "I'll still be me. Just...better."

"You are already perfect, Astar." Tar'eon took his face in his hands and thumbed at his cheeks. "There is nothing better than you. Not to me. You are perfection. You haunt my dreams and thoughts, and they are sweeter than anything I could ever taste. You may think yourself broken or imperfect or weak, but you are beautiful and quintessential and strong to me. You don't need some ritual to become better. You need Cazador dead, and to finally have the chance to move on and live."

He rested his forehead against his, eyes falling shut.

"I want to live with you. Once all of this is over, I want to spend the rest of my life at your side, in whatever way you will have me. I want to be your shield, your armour, your blade. I want to be yours, and for you to be mine. I want to be the modest man who worships the ground you walk on, even if I cannot be the rich man you slit the throat of." He chuckled, slowly opening his eyes to look at Astarion.

His eyes were glossy and wet, but he was refusing to shed tears. Instead, he narrowed his eyes at Tar'eon, lips twisted with bitterness.

"You offer all of that to me and expect me to not want it forever." He took his hands and moved them from his face, stepping back and turning around to weave through the crowd. If he was attempting to disappear within it, he was failing, his white curls sticking out like a sore thumb, but Tar'eon let him go.

He sighed, looking up at the sky. Whatever God was watching over him...He'd like a blessing one of these days.

****

He had really hoped there would be no bloodshed at the circus, but apparently whatever God was watching over him hated him and demanded it. He never thought he'd kill a clown, and yet...

He used the carter of water to wash the blood off his face and armour, offering Astarion one as well. Shadowheart was attempting to wash the paint off Karlach's face, but the tiefling was insisting she liked it and didn't want to ruin his 'art'.

"I'm more interested in kissing my girlfriend, not a butterfly." Which managed to make the barbarian sit patiently (she still wiggled, but it was Karlach) while the cleric rubbed blood and paint off her skin.

"Good! You lot made it back in time for dinner." Gale called as he walked away from the fire, quirking a brow. "Murder on the first day? I shouldn't be surprised, but I am. I thought you were scouting Rivington?"

"We went to the circus." Astarion grumbled.

"The circus? What fun! You know, that might help Yenna's spirits - maybe I'll take her and Wyll out tomorrow."

"Oh, uh, we kind of...killed them." Tar'eon admitted.

"You- you killed the circus? By Mystra - why?!"

"They attacked me first!" Karlach piped up, Shadowheart attempting to scrub blue paint from her cheek, holding her by her horn as she attempted to move away from it like a fussy pet. "They deserved it!"

"Absolute worshippers." Tar'eon explained and Gale sighed.

"All the good things get ruined before I can experience them. Surely I can join you tomorrow?"

"That should be fine. Shadowheart, Karlach, are you two alright to stay at camp tomorrow?"

"I guess. I'll just stay here and eat dirt or something." Karlach pouted.

"I'll stay and make sure she doesn't eat dirt." Shadowheart smirked.

"Gale, we leave early tomorrow."

"Fantastic!" The wizard clapped his hands together. "I'm sure Wyll will be happy to join us too."

"Obviously." Tar'eon smiled, knowing the two were basically a package deal at this point, the same as Karlach and Shadowheart.

"Oh amazing, does that mean I get to stay back too?" Astarion purred. "I mean, with two magic users on your team, surely you don't need my petty dagger, hm?"

"Astarion, you dismiss you own prowess!" Gale shook his head. "We all know an arrow from you is a deadly strike. Your precision is unlike anything a wizard myself could master. Magic is much too wild to have the same effect." Astarion grimaced but he accepted the praise.

"Well...someone has to hold this team together." He relented and tucked a curl behind his ear. "It may as well be yours truly."

"It's settled then. Gale, Wyll, yourself and I." Tar'eon smirked, smiling wider when Astarion glared at him. "Missed a spot, ph myirz." He reached over and wiped some blood off his ear.

"You're the exact reason I need time to read, you infernal bastard." Astarion muttered. He still didn't know what those damn words meant.

"Hm?" Tar'eons eyes crinkled with mischief as he shifted closer to the vampire, leaning in with a smirk. "You are the most radiant man I've ever met, and I want to consume every inch of you to shine half as brightly. I want to suck every last drop of sunlight out of your body through your cock." He let the natural hiss of the language overtake his words, the infernal sliding off his tongue like butter, and laughed into Astarion's shoulder when Karlach squawked.

"You dirty fuck!" She cackled. Tar'eon had forgotten she spent ten years likely speaking infernal to her fellow soldiers.

"I- Gods, what did you say?" Astarion asked, bewildered.

"Apparently something very naughty." Gale smirked.

"Keep studying, and maybe you'll find out." Tar'eon grinned.

"Oh you-" Astarion glowered and shoved him away, retreating to his tent.

"Xe dajy haf!"

"Keep your devils tongue to yourself!"

"That's the opposite of what he wants to do, buddy." Karlach snorted. Astarion closed the flap of his tent sharply and Tar'eon blushed.

"You think I went too far?" He asked.

"He's a big boy. He can take a joke." Shadowheart chuckled.

"Dinner is going to get cold if we keep chatting. Clean yourselves up and come to the fire. Yenna is quite the cook, with a guiding hand." Gale smiled with pride and made his way back to the fire where Wyll was helping Yenna with the hot ladle, pouring stew into a bowl for her.

Tar'eon smiled to himself. Even if her mother never came back for her...he was sure she wouldn't be alone. Not anymore.

****

As per usual, restless sleep plagued him. He scowled as he tossed and turned, trying to find peace in his dreams for once, but it seemed he did not get a choice.

"Naughty, naughty, naughty little master." He growled at the familiar voice, shooting up to face Fel, but he was no longer on his bedroll. Instead he was surrounded by stone, ominously doused in red light, an altar before him. He felt like he was home, yet it was unsettling all at once. Something was wrong. This wasn't camp. This wasn't home.

"You have disobeyed your Father's wishes one time too many." Fel's voice was still heard, but he couldn't see him, walking closer to the skull carved into the wall. There was a sense of dread, but also...belonging. Devotion. This...this was Father.

"For he who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself becomes a monster." The sockets of the skull burst red with magic, staring down upon him. Father was here. Father was watching. "When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you."

He felt another presence in the room and turned to the altar, the slab of stone he could remember from another dream. The dream where he killed his guardian, his sacrifice. Now, Orin laid there, playing with her blade. A blade that didn't belong to her, his mind whispered with wrath.

"Another will embrace what you have rejected." Orin turned to look at him and he glared in response to her baring of teeth. "And that other will be your death." If he wasn't hers first, his conniving bitch of a sister, always after his destiny-

His destiny? No. No, that wasn't right...

"But your Father loves you dearly. You may reinherit yourself yet." Fel assured even as Orin pointed her dagger at him. His heart began to race. This was all wrong. This wasn't who he was. He wasn't- he couldn't be-!

Orin turned into a fearsome creature, with more spikes and claws and teeth than any beast of the Hells could conjure up. It struck fear into his very soul and he stumbled back as it approached, a heavy foot slamming down into his chest, pinning him to the altar.

"Slaughter your line. Become the last of your name." The Urge, the anger, it screamed in him to do it, to slaughter his sister, but the human part of him, his present self, didn't want to be another pawn in this game.

"Lord Bhaal shall have but one Chosen."

He wanted to be Father's favourite again. He wanted to be his Chosen. He wanted to be forgiven. He wanted to-

He wanted to kill Orin.

Sister or not, Chosen or not, he would kill the woman who stole his memories from him. Stole him from his life. He would kill Bhaal's Chosen, take her stone, and he would set things right.

He woke with a start, breathing hard. Rage burned beneath his skin as snatches of his past came back to him, all coated in gore and blood, in worship and devotion. He had lead his congregations, had been their master for years, and Bhaal...Bhaal had been his. A cruel master and...his father.

He was his spawn. His heir. His child.

That wasn't who he was anymore. He refused to be...All those bodies, all the blood, he would never be able to atone, but regardless, he was a different person entirely. Who he was before - it wasn't who he was now.

Yet he knew he would never be free of his Urge, not until he confronted the past...Orin was an abomination, mad and bloodthirsty. Even without his grudge against her, he knew he had to kill her. To end the Bhaal line with himself. By killing her, he could get her stone, and cut their father off from his plans with the elder brain. He killed Ketheric, and he would kill Orin. He would have all the stones in the palm of his hand. He'd be able to make things right.

'And Enver?' His mind whispered, and he couldn't remember when the mans first name become more familiar to his mind then his last, even with all memories of him being hidden to him or too fuzzy to be certain.

He didn't have an answer for the question, the implication, and that worried him more than anything; even more so when even the Urge did not beg for his bloodied body alongside Ketheric and Orin's.

[limpfisted]

while wyll is a very well intentioned person part of the game is about subverting tropes, and to ME hes MY special princess. he is by no stretch of the imagination “perfect” n hes not SUPPOSED to be perfect, n he has glaring flaws present in the text in subtext that make him very interesting narratively

while wyll trying to fight monsters and devils to save people is objectively good

in dnd, monsters, devils, goblins, even animals in the context of this game. theyre still literally people. theyre capable of language and complex thoughts and motivations

while im not about to be like (fire emblem vc) DIMITRI. KILLS. WOMEN. wyll’s quest to be a generic lawful good human warrior male is not as black and white as he wants it to be

and he can be a hypocrite and a liar

and he can be dumb and needlessly vicious. he stands in the middle of the room with priestess guts and to her face goes “tav lets just kill her. lets kill everyone here lets blow this nasty wench to smithereens” and u have to go priestess guts i am so sorry my friend would fucking say that to you. while we are. trying. to be SNEAKY, WYLLIAM!!

he DOES try to kill karlach. he probs killed other innocent prisoners of zariel. he thought it was the right thing to do, its reasonable. but he still did it. n he never faces tbe consequences or even the guilt.in fact he only faces consequences n guilt when he does the RIGHT thing

wyll IS a very kind and tolerant person to a point but its interesting to see like. who deserves second chances to wyll. and why

like obviously being a generic goblin killer doesnt make u a bad person or anything. its good to kill momsters that are hurting ppl. but hes eventually going to hv to look back on the things hes done for mizora and the devils hes killed, and go “hm.” bc even tho he HAD to do it. he also justified it. and that makes it worse

its honestly kind of interesting he doesnt hv anything to say abt freeing 7000 hungry vampire spawn. n when ascended astarion mentions them, wyll asks how many ppl astarion has killed. “dozens, hundreds?” bro it was 7007 ppl, u know the exact number. he cant even wrap his head around it

like everything else in his life—i dont think he really knows how to weigh the burden of that decision bc he can really never let himself feel the full severity of anything without going “ok moving on” or “let my next action prove my worth.” (ie when he tells karlach hes been a beast but he still wants to prove himself, when u tell him hes a monster, he will still prove himself to the sword coast n be tbeir protector.)

its a very rich thing, hes going on his own little narrative journey here where hes realizing what kind of man and hero he wants to be, same as all the rest of them

n a part of that is coming to terms with things like balduran being a lie, n baldurs gate being so much less than he remembers

something i really enjoy abt the game as someone who considers themself an existentialist is. the burden of freedom. we are condemned to be free. despite the facticities and realities of the world n other ppls reactions to our decisions—we alone make our choices n deal with those consequences

wyll is always, always making the best of a bad situation, hes always doing the best he can, hes always doing what he thinks is right, he always tries to be kind and good and gentle to the people “who deserve it.”

but hes only human, and the road to hell is paved with good intentions

when it comes to morals and “goodness”—sometimes being guided by fairy tales and legends is…. lazy moralizing, that will lead to more pain for everyone, wyll included

wyll DID do good things for the people of the sword coast. and that matters. but u know what. everybodys got something to atone for, pobodys nerfect

again this is not a wyll hate post this is actually a WYLL IS AN INTERESTING CHARACTER AND INTERESTING CHARACTERS HAVE FLAWS post lol. hes really not as goody goody as people think. he loves murder and blood tbh, just u know, the murder and blood of evil doers

[transparentkittenheart]

Inwas tagged for bg3weddingseason by @gale-force-storm

This is an Astarion x named Durge ramble. 💉💉💉

Astarion x Vienna

1: Weddings or something else?- What do the characters think about weddings or marriages? If not a wedding, would they acknowledge their relationship in a different kind of ceremony?

Vienna and Astarion were both discouraged from thinking about marriage, or really anything domestic. Astarion being a spawn under Cazador didn’t leave any room for anything but borderline delusional fantasy. Thoughts of being rescued and romanced were snuffed out within his first few decades of slavery.  At the same time Vienna being a Bhaal spawn meant that any marriage would be purely a power play, and even that wouldn’t be a necessary step in her life. Her fantasies were kept drenched in violence and gore, romance was hardly interesting to her.  

However, after the two of them are freed from their former masters, as well as their tadpoles these once ridiculous ideas don’t seem so ridiculous anymore. 

Astarion would be the first one to really consider a wedding. His pet names for Vienna are often in a possessive: My dear, my sweet, my love. To be completely honest there's a bit of selfishness in his mind. He wants Vienna all to himself, and he wants everyone else to know that. Being able to say “That's my wife.” is extremely appealing.

Of course Astarion has sweetness as well, he genuinely wants to see Vienna dressed so prettily. She's so beautiful already she would be a picture really, unreal; an ethereal hellion. She would deserve to experience a wedding, something that they were both denied as an option for both of their entire lives. 

Vienna doesn’t let herself consider it. She’s content with how things are. Her druidic philosophies tell her that most creatures don’t wed, and what is she but an exceptionally odd creature? Is someone like her even really deserving of something so domestic? Surely not. 

It's only when Astarion starts planting the idea that she begins to really give it thought. They pass by dress shops with wedding gowns in the windows. “Ah, don’t bother looking at that one my dear, it's tailored so poorly. Honestly, it must be someones sorry first attempt.” and “You would be such a treasure in that one don’t you think?” It’s anything but subtle, and all she can do is nervously nod or shug her shoulders.

It would take her a while for her to really feel comfortable with Astarions occasional pushes of imagination. Given enough time though, she gets excited to play these little games of his. “Which one of these do you think would look best with blood dripping down my neck?” As she motions towards the puncture wounds that have since become permanent scars from the constant use. Marriage is finally something she can envision. 

 

23: Honeymoon - Does the couple take a honeymoon anywhere?

The two of them are both from Baldur's Gate and despite both of their hardships they still love it there.

They do a lot of nightlife activities. Go to music shows, clubs, bars, fancy places to eat for Vienna (Astarion used to get jealous watching her eat, but he really enjoys it now.), Astarion cheats at gambling which they both find to be incredibly hilarious. The two of them aren’t able to leave the underdark very often so they make sure to stock up on luxury’s they both miss. Clothes shopping, specialty  soaps, lotions, food and tea items that are difficult to get. They also spend a lot of time at the beach or on a cliff side. Wherever they go, shenanigans follow. 

During the day the two of them rest, canoodle and generally laze about. Perhaps they get visits from their old companions. They definitely get too much room service to the annoyance of the employees. They don’t tip, and honestly the two of them look a little uncanny, wide eyed in the dark with curtains and blankets nailed over the windows. They give the staff the creeps, and the crew definitely draw straws to decide who needs to cater to the couple. 

Astarion unquestionably leaves the Underdark responsibilities to someone else for the next few weeks to the dismay of everyone. He gives them a sending stone and tells them to contact him if things get out of hand, but he immediately stuffs it in a drawer at the inn they’re staying at. If the stone gets too loud Vienna chucks it out the window and Astarion applauds her for it. “Ah, bravo my love, you certainly know how to respond to a cry for help.”

[thessalian]

Faerun!Alisaie vs Auntie Ethel, Again

But first, a certain Blade's aftermath

Wyll: I don't believe I condemned my father to death. I--

Alisaie: Dude, seriously. Look. You could not make that decision yourself, because you're way too damn close to it, so you put it in my hands ... probably at least in part to have someone to blame for it, but okay, fine, I can cope. But let's look at the logic. The man basically disowned you for making that fucking pact. That's how much he hated that you were in it.

Wyll: So, what, he deserves to--?

Alisaie: Oh, for fuck's sake, no. Look, just shut up. This is Alisiae Tav Talking Time. He sent you away because he couldn't bear seeing you in that pact, and--

Wyll: But he hated me--

Alisaie: ALISAIE. TAV. TALKING. TIME. He did not hate you. He couldn't bear to look at you because he felt like he failed you. He left you to run Baldur's fucking Gate alone at a young age and a demon came in and ... hell, probably manufactured a situation where a pact with a demon was the only way to save the entire city. If he'd left you with any kind of backup, that would not have been a thing. He blames himself. He couldn't look at you because he couldn't help you and it killed him to see it. ...Plus also probably a little bit not wanting to have a demon potentially pulling political strings on the Sword Coast, but that's beside the point. Anyway. Point is that if he knew - absolutely, for 100% certain knew that his death would free you from that pact, I would bet coppers to croissants that he'd stick the blade in his own throat to set you free. Because you are his son and he loves you and parents are willing to die for the lives, safety, and well-being of their children.

Shadowheart: I thought your parents were petty criminals who were looking to sell you off to Sharess' Caress when you were far too young for any of that kind of thing. How do you know so much about parents?

Alisaie: Yeah, fine, my family was not exactly what you'd call 'loving' or anything other than 'abusive' but guys, come on; I'm a bard. I Know Stuff.

Shadowheart: Fair. And honestly, none of this matters in the least because Alisaie is a hero and she's made us all into heroes - and in your case, Wyll, that's ... I suppose 'hero squared', all things considered...

Astarion: What she's trying to say is that there's almost certain to be a 'in the very teeth of time' rescue situation in the not-too-distant future. Don't worry; one doesn't just ... make Duke Ravengard dead, even if Gortash is running things at the moment. They'll take a few days to let the populace forget all about him and then they'll make him dead.

Alisaie: Bedside manner. Get one.

Astarion: I was only saying we've got time. So possibly unbunch your knickers a little, Wyll.

Alisaie: Anyway, there's another good reason why I kind of had to vote for you breaking the pact. Karlach doesn't know your father, doesn't care about politics, and would probably crush my head if I handed you over to Mizora.

Karlach: You're my bestie and all, but ... it's true. I would.

Wyll: So ... good deeds as a distraction so no one thinks we're really hunting them, and then we save my father?

Alisaie: Pretty much, yeah.

And, after a stop at the Baldur's Mouth just to be petty

Wyll: We're doing good deeds ... in the park.

Alisaie: We're prepping for good deeds in the park. Look, when I was younger, I couldn't afford apothecary prices, and foraging for herbalism components so I didn't die of scurvy or infected wounds or whatever else kind of got to be a habit, so... Huh.

Gale: Um ... is that your "illithid so-called Emperor is talking to me" 'huh', or your "I am seeing something that most don't see because I let Volo of all people stick an awl in my eye" 'huh'?

Alisaie: ...Wyll? How do you feel about venting some spleen by stabbing some Bhaal cultists?

Wyll: Fairly good, as it happens, but what--?

Bhaal Cultist: *swearing a lot from behind Invisibility ability*

Gale: Ah. Yes. Botched-surgery-had-perks 'huh'. Fair enough.

Stabnation: *ensues*

Elder Brain servants: *turn up to help* Free uuuuuuuuuus...

Alisaie: ...I do not consider "help I didn't need with an ambush" sufficient payment for letting an elder brain run amok. Just saying.

After that whole mess is sorted

Gale: Are we sure we want to check in on the hag survivors? I mean, that eviction notice about the walls bleeding does not fill me with comfort. I mean, we could go rob Lorroakan...

Alisaie: And then we'll have to hang out with Astarion and he'd want to know why we can't just kill his sire and make him UberVamp and I have enough to cope with right now. I just want to check in on Mayrina and her undead husband because they're bound to be here...

Cleric of Torm: BEGONE, FOUL HAG!

Alisaie: Hey, look, I got ambushed by assassins on the way here, so don't give me shit for my hair not being on point.

Hag Survivors: ................................

Bugbear Dude: She's telling the truth, as it happens.

Cleric of Torm: Oh. Yes. The ... the one Mayrina told us about. Well. Before she could say anything but "baaaa", anyway.

Alisaie: What the fuck--? *heads upstairs* ...Oh for... HEY! CLERIC-LADY! WHAT CLERIC WORTH A SHIT CAN'T REMOVE A CURSE?!?

Cleric of Torm: Um...

Snake Individual: Aw. And I was having such a good time.

Alisaie: ...wut.

Snake Individual: *becomes redcap*

Now-Redcap: *summons multiple giant crabs*

Alisaie: ...And here's me without a pot of boiling water and some garlic butter handy. Oh well. I guess I'll have to improvise.

Stabnation: *ensues again*

When that's all over and done with

Mayrina: Thanks for that. We were fighting her--

Wyll: 'Her'? You mean Ethel? That 'her'? The one we shish-kabobed and set on fire?

Mayrina; Alisaie: That doesn't kill a hag.

Mayrina: Turns out you need to kill her mushrooms first. Oh, by the way, we found out she wanted to eat my baby to turn it into a hag like her, so she's been looking for another kid, and...

Alisaie; Wyll; Shadowheart; Gale: Vanra.

Mayrina: We've got the fixings for Hag's Bane in the safe downstairs. We'd go - I mean, we tried, but I'm not a fighter, Connor ... really only does direct instructions, that scaly asshole was probably hobbling us, our bugbear friend's kind of lacking in the smarts department, and our cleric...

Cleric of Torm: *fervently praying after having done jack all during the fight but cast Shield of Faith on herself and then stand there*

Shadowheart: Gives the priesthood a bad name; I understand.

Wyll: So now where to?

Alisaie: Barman was less than helpful, so we go to the woman in charge at the Blushing Mermaid. Captain Grizly has a bit of a past but not even she's going to be into kid-stealing.

And, back at the Blushing Mermaid...

'Captain Grizly': Lora's a right mare and getting on my tits with this so-called 'missing child' bollocks. I want you to end her.

Alisaie: I have way more important uses to put this particular blade to than killing a frantic parent, lady. And you are not Captain Grizly because she'd do her own damn killing.

'Captain Grizly': *becomes Auntie Ethel*

Wyll; Gale: Whaaaaaaaaaaat the fuuuuuuuuuck...

Shadowheart: Their general perception of the world around them is a bit lacking, isn't it?

Alisaie: So's their grasp of dramatic narrative. So, come on. Vanish and make us chase you into your lair again.

Ethel: Oh, no. Fighting's bad for the baby. I thought I'd give you a bit of an appetizer first anyway.

Various Patrons: *become redcaps*

Alisaie: Oh for fuck's sake, I hope the real Captain Grizly's alive so I can explain why there's going to be more blood than usual on her carpets...

Stabnation: *ensues yet again, because it is that kind of day*

And, eventually, in the hag's lair, after a lot of stabbing and trying not to kill Captain Grizly with her Whispering Mask issue...

Shadowheart: This is not going well. I can't even see her copies, let alone tell which one is really her. And excuse me, invoking duplicity is my thing...

Alisaie: Shadowheart! Flame Strike! THERE! *points at random section of deck*

Shadowheart: ...Oh, right, Volo's nonsense! *calls down holy fire*

Ethel: So you learned a few new tricks. Fine. That won't save you. Look at you, all poison-sick and covered in insects and cowering where my beloved mushrooms stood. You're done. ...Last words, mouthy-bard?

Alisaie: Just four: "I. Got. You. Monologuing."

Ethel: ...what--

Alisaie: *Mobile Flourish - Ranged*

Ethel: *is yeeted into a chasm and dies*

Gale: ...You know Astarion would have yelled at you for losing any loot she might have been carrying down a hole.

Alisaie: Astarion can go fuck himself.

Wyll: Um ... I used my last Misty Step to get over here to destroy the mushroom and ... I'm kind of stuck...

Alisaie: Luckily for you, I can help with that. *tosses a Potion of Glorious Vaulting* The fruits of my foraging labours earlier. Worth having to stab a few assassins for?

Wyll: Right now? YES.

Captain Grizly: ...Are your lives always this insane?

Alisaie: This is actually pretty tame compared to some of the shit we've had this month, honestly. Oh, yeah, by the way, sorry about the ... whole thing in the upstairs. We had to kill a lot of redcaps on your carpet--

Gale: Though she did get me to throw a health potion at some of your clientele so they didn't die of shrapnel bomb, so that's something...

Alisaie: And the chest I poked in your chambers? I honestly thought that was Ethel's and I backed off when I got funny looks.

Captain Grizly: Right. Well. I think saving my life kind of covers all that. You've always got a home at the Blushing Mermaid. ...Say, I remember you - you used to play a battered lute for incoming sailors down on the docks before you moved on to better things!

Alisaie: If that's a request for a command performance, probably going to need to be tomorrow. I've got to make sure Vanra got back to Lora, and let Mayrina know that Ethel's proper dead this time, and then I probably need to wash more than blood out of my hair...

Captain Grizly: ...Well ... my stage is always open.

((Controller Person Note: Yes, Alisaie is technically Featherwind in Ellon, but we're not in Ellon, and anyway, given how well it scans, I couldn't help the Gideon the Ninth reference.))

[pinkberrytea]

Just to add to this, I’m going to go ahead and copy and paste two of my comments on the Reddit thread which I figured might be relevant:

The devnote about him feeling powerful and free is relevant because it’s a parallel to the time Tav first trusted him, when she let him first bite her, regardless of whether during the forest tryst or when he reveals himself as a vampire. In both situations he is weak, scared, he has just been thrown out into the sun after 200 hundred years of hiding in the shadows, he is overwhelmed by everything, with a parasite in his brain threatening to turn him into a mindflayer and his abuser on his trail. Not only that, he is sleeping on the dirt, he is starving, he feels powerless, defeated. And yet Tav still trusts him, when she has no good reason to. He tries to bite her in the night, tries to hurt her, maybe even kill her, when she is completely defenseless—he, who put a knife to her throat seconds after meeting her, who has done nothing but tell her lie after lie—and still she lets him do it, she offers him what is possibly her most precious possession, her lifeblood, and he considers this a gift. Now bringing it back to post ascension—everything has changed, he is different, no longer a scared spawn but a living vampire, the most powerful there ever was. And again, all thanks to her, all thanks to the trust she put in him. She has given him everything, and now he can finally repay her in kind—so he asks her that she trust him one last time. The morning after, when he thanks her for trusting him, it’s not only for letting him turn her—it’s for having trusted him from the moment they met, for being there for him every step of the way, even when that was “objectively the stupid thing to do”; she trusted him when he had nothing to give her, and trusted him again when he offered her the world.

Astarion was never one to wear his heart on his sleeve and let himself be vulnerable before others, especially not those who he truly cares about because he is afraid they will see him for who he truly is. Of course post breakup he’d lash out rather than let Tav know how he truly feels—rejected, still in love, and mourning the loss of what was most precious to him, something he knows was a once-in-a-lifetime connection with someone who trusted him and truly cared for him, who was willing to look beyond the surface and see the good in him, however well hidden. Yet of course he claims the contrary, he says it’ll be easy for him to find someone like Tav, yet they were the only one to love him when he was still powerless, still weak and scared and broken—that becomes clear in the post-kidnapping attempt conversation, when he claims that no one has a heart like Tav’s, so it feels meaningful that he’d try to hide his true feelings by claiming the opposite when faced with rejection. It’s so weird to me that anyone would take anything he says after breakup at face value, honestly. The only thing I think he truly means would be saying he would “ruin Tav’s love”, specifically because they refused to lower themselves to his level when prompted—of course he’d ruin their love if he didn’t have their consent, because Tav would be “degrading” themselves unwillingly, staying with a person “below” them when (as Astarion sees it) they deserve so much more.

Sharing this post by the amazing u/hismostbelovedspawn from Reddit because I think it needs more eyes on it 🦇🫶♥️

[dragonswithjetpacks]

Psssst... Hey...

Ya’ll wanna read a little thing I wrote while fiending over Astarion last night?

Of course you do.... of coooooourse you do...

Her Flavor

-dragonswithjetpacks

Summary: The days are long and hot. And the time to relax is few and far between. Ferelith longs for nothing more than a turn to soak in a hot steaming spring. But it seems she also longs for... other things.

Notes: Que the old Vine: "I can't believe you've done this..."

I haven't played the game yet. But after looking at enough screens and videos... I'm in this. Enjoy this short bit I wrote as a result of New Years adult beverages and provocative music.

Read here on Ao3.

Full story under the cut:

Certain days traveling happened to be luckier than others. When most of those days were considered to come across either something valuable or something free, that particular day they had discovered something that was a bit of both. A hot spring, nestled in the summit of the mountain just outside an entrance to a rather ominous cave. While some wanted to venture into the caverns, the others wanted to first soak into the warm waters for their own reasons. Ferelith, usually the voice of reason, agreed on using the spring that night. The entrance of the cave would be used for shelter. And they could delve into it's tunnels the next morning.

 Even though she had wanted to use the spring, she was in no hurry. It was a long wait as the rest of the party members rotated through their private sessions. And even after they were done for the night, she still sat patiently biding her time until she was ready. Then, as all the weary heads of the travels fell onto their cots, she rose from her place by the fire. Wrapping her robe tightly around her, she tip toed away without a second thought. Her idea was if everyone was asleep, she could enjoy the silence of the night. There would be no chatter echoing from the cave entrance. No one to bother her as she tried to relax. No one asking to join her. And as she looked up, she noted the moon was nearly full. It would be a well lit night. With a perfect temperature. In a nice relaxing spring.

Or so she imagine it to be. Upon her arrival, as she slid off the lace robe, there came the sound of a throat clearing from the far side of the spring.With her bloused over one shoulder, she begrudgingly turned to determine the caller. With a coy smile and twinkling eyes, Astarion sat patiently- though eager- awaiting her next move. Disappointment eased it's way onto her expression as she dropped her hands to her side. It was a wonder as to why he was always the one at the center of her frustrations.

"I can honestly say I didn't do this on purpose... this time..."

Arms crossed with a sulking stare, Ferelith struggled to find the right words to use. And she was too tired to search for them.

"Honest," he lifted his hands as if it would reassure her. "I just wanted to feel alone."

"I can wait a bit longer," she proclaimed with a defeated step, bending over to pick up the clothing she shed.

"No, no," he crept forward, the sound of water rippling around him. "It's alright. I can go. You deserve a bit of time to yourself."

Ferelith heard the water parting, but the correlating sight of him getting out from the spring was something she could not cohere. It shouldn't have come to her surprise that he would be completely nude. And yet, she was. When she looked up, Astarion was only a few feet away from her and baring everything he had with no shame to his stride. He was clinging to a drying cloth, rubbing it first against his face and neck. He traveled to his shoulders, down his chest, following the center line even further until...

"If you're not shy, I'm fairly certain I'm nothing of the sort, either," he wickedly grinned at her.

Ferelith sulked inside her head at his statement. The way he teased her consistently felt like a losing battle; no matter the outcome, he would find something to pick apart. And the longer she remained in his company, the more frustrated she became by his relentless advancements. While ignoring him did very little, responding was much worse. And by far, the most infuriating part of the little exchanges were the times he actually managed to flatter her. But this was not one of those time. And she swatted his remark to the back her head as she focused her intent on being in that spring like she had been planning from the moment they arrived. The steam alone was enough to relax her. Letting go the weight in her chest with a heavy sigh, she tossed the robe back onto the ground. The blouse came next, off one shoulder, then the other, then over her head. She turned to see if he was looking. But was pleasantly surprised when he was more concentrated on putting his clothes on. As she untied the front of her breeches, she watched him tie the front of his. The shape of his hip bones just above the hem of his pants had caught her eye. It was the way he was bent over that made her look at him so, complimenting the silhouette of his abdomen. The man was a fool, but he was not a weak one by any means.

Not like her. The sight of his physique made her feel suddenly inadequate. She turned her back to him quickly, hiding her frail figure. Her strength had always been with her mind, never in her physical form. Her legs and the way she ran were the only thing she had. Everything else, she was ashamed to admit, fell short. Still, as she finished undressing, she showed no sign of her insecurities. And as her final piece of small clothes came off the bottom of her feet, Astarion was buttoning the final button on his shirt. He never was one to leave in the middle of a performance and watched the remainder of her strut to the edge of the pool. He had not seen much. Only the backs of her legs, buttocks, and the beautiful shape of her back with her hair draping down it. It was quite lovely to see Ferelith so vulnerable, even just partially as she was already submerged, dip herself into the hot water.

"You're still here," she said, feeling his presence still lingering.

"Pay me no mind," he said, his face full secrets as he buttoned his cuffs. "I was just simply lost in a thought."

"In a thought?" she chuckled at the irony. "I find that difficult to believe."

The steam rose from Ferelith's arms as she lifted them from the water, sending her hands into her hair to untangle the mess. Her profile was more visible to him now, and he could see just the tops of her breasts. The woman was still cautious, however, and refused to turn completely around. Still, he licked his lips, his gaze traveling to the nape of her neck. With her hair pulled back, he could see more of the curve in her figure. Even through water, the shape of her was delicious.

"I was just thinking... how lovely you would taste..." he straightened his tunic.

"As anyone else would, I imagine," the tone was harsh and dry, which came as no surprise. "A bit like metal... maybe a little salty..."

"Oh," he said, the resonance of his voice catching her ear, "I didn't mean your blood, my dear..."

There was no reluctance to his statement and the abruptness had sent a shock to her thoughts, pausing all moving. With her hair still untangling in her hands, she pivoted. But Astarion was finally taking his leave. She watched the back of him, strutting casually down the stone toward the cave. He didn't give so much as a single glance in her direction. Nevertheless, she had gotten the privacy she so desired. Even if it was at the cost of her inner peace.

[meanbossart]

Hi, just a warning for the following unhinged question. (I'm getting baby rabies.) I love seeing Dadstarion and Famstarionnstuff all over tumblr- AND of course that lil thing you drew with Drow and Astarion and fucking little Bhaalings into his belly sparked the question-

DOES DROW WANT KIDS SOMEDAY? UNCONSCIOUSLY? SUBCONSCIOUSLY? Like with the whole Sarevok, epilogue reveal, is it spoilers to ask how your Drow would deal with the new sudden urge to procreate? (Sorry if this is actually a spoiler for ANE future chapters) BUT If so, how does it manifest? Does he start nesting? Hoarding even more shiny crap and dirty rags than usual? Does he start adopting every mangy orphaned cub they come across? Does his dirty talk in bed just get progressively more and more disturbing and natally oriented that even he starts thinking "wtf" post encounter? Does he ever think about putting a round bundle under his shirt and pretending it's his and Astarions dhamphir love-child?

Also IF yes to any of the above, What would Astarion's reaction be?

TYVM

Unhinged fan of yours

First of all I love unhinged questions. Those are my favorite questions. This is an unhinged couple and It's what they deserve, so thank you for this LOL

This topic, at least in this context, never comes up in ANE so I think i can answer it without anything being considered a spoiler.

"Currently" I definitely don't think either of them consider the idea of children in the slightest, while both probably get on with kids relatively well, in their own weird ways (kids love weird people) they're strongly in the "don't want kids and never will" frame of mind despite any joking and uh thematic dirty talking.

THAT BEING SAID, they are both bound to exist for a long time. Depending on how things turn out for him, Astarion's lifespan is either a good 700 years or a big Ol Forever. Drows also live for up to seven centuries and I don't even know whether or not DU Drow's particular kind of Bhaalspawn-ness doesn't affect that, as you could argue he's some type of demigod. The idea that they may change their mind at some point is not out of the question.

In regards to DU drow getting a baby fever in the future, I do think it will be something they have to deal with. Obviously, him and Astarion can't procreate as they are, and even if magical options exist DU drow is still aware that it would be a bad idea to follow through with it. I have honestly no clue how a desire like that would externalize, but - and I hate to be a downer but I assume you want my sincere answer here - based on Sarevok's letter I don't actually think it would be as fun as the bedroom talk or the cracks he makes - it sounds like it would be a spiraling depression and state of unfulfillment that they would simply have to learn to cope with if he is to remain childless, peppered with a profound yearning for a More he can't quite pin down. Luckily I think Astarion's character has demonstrated time and time again that he has the ability to be extremely sensible towards that type of thing, and he would be pretty much the ideal partner in those circumstances (especially if we're talking an older, more mature Astarion). An adoptive child could sate that, or it could not, I have no idea, but I don't think he would ever just say "yeah fuck it lets have/get a kid" in response to it.

Either way, as I mentioned above I believe it's not out of the question (if not inevitable?) that they could come to become someone's guardians someday regardless, especially if they ever become more firmly settled in life and the people they are. I doubt it's something they will ever actively seek out (I don't really see them ever completely retiring from a dangerous lifestyle of their own will) but maybe they stumble upon an orphan or, more likely, kill some kid's actual parents and out of guilt keep it for long enough to develop a bond. Lets say this happens out on the road - maybe they want to at least drop it off at a city somewhere where the thing would have a better chance, but ultimately decide against it for whatever reason... Yeah I could see something like that happening lol It's a cute thought, and funny enough I don't think they would make the Worst parents, assuming their character developments continues in a generally positive direction.

[limpfisted]

@moonlitdelirium [ REGARDING FATHERS, LOVERS, CONQUESTS, PRIDE. I love my gay son and the worm in his head / that keeps the vampire and the tentacles out of his bed. ]

It's strange, sharing a space with your Father and someone you consider a.... lover is much too generous considering you haven't touched except to dance. A fancy, perhaps. A mutual crush. A fling, if you're kind and flippant about it. They could always, always be more, and yet, there's such an abundance and yet a lack of space and boundaries between them that could only ever end in "yes but"---"no ands and no us."

But the affection Wyll feels for Astarion is so real. So overwhelming. If not for his fear for his Father's life, he may have done something terrible, something awful, something drastic and evil he felt so much bloody care and affection strung high and loaded low in his chest.

He almost told Astarion he loved him.

It was just so heroic. So beautiful, to Wyll. So brave. To take responsibility for all those spawn. To be better than his.... Father? Wyll's not quite sure what they were to each other really, only that they were a family the same way the House of Healing were reputable surgeons.

It made Wyll so grateful. To see Astarion grow like that. Far beyond Wyll's reach, really. How could he hope to compare? He'd never faced such hardship. He had hoped, once, and honestly believed---that no one in Baldur's Gate ever had to.

Wyll had bought flowers with his Father here, to place on his Mother's grave here, and the wishing tree where Wyll now will forever dream of taking Astarion was here, and the fishing spot he snuck away to between lessons was here, and he stole a peach here, and he LOVED watching Dribbles the clown here, and he played swords and magic against imaginary goblins here, and he had gotten in trouble in the Flophouse here for loitering around and trying to peek inside a place Astarion had spent hundreds of years in, countless thousands of nights. Fuck.

When would their paths have crossed on the map, if not for the tadpoles? Could Wyll have saved him, pulled him from Cazador like he pulled him from out of the ritual so he could stay his Father to death? He was only a boy, when he left. How old was Astarion, when he died the first time, but no, never the last.

The Duke looks at them funny. Looks at Wyll with his sad, soft eyes towards his... Something or Other... and half-cringes, half-sighs, and then looks away. And when he keeps looking... He just. Well he looks at them funny.

Not with hate. Wyll knows that look. Its burned in his retina, hotter than the Hellfire in his veins.

But one of confusion. Judgment.

That one, Wyll is used to. But it has never felt... good.

How can he explain? To Astarion, to his Father?

Why does everything have to be so much more complicated than fighting goblins for the adoration of the common folk?

Wyll isn't sure----isn't sure if Astarion heard it the first time. Or if he notices.... all The Duke's looks, when Wyll looks at him.

"I don't know if you heard it the first time. A lot was happening. You must have been.... overwhelmed. But I'm proud of you, for making the choice that you made."

And I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry this happened to you. I'm sorry no one protected you, and no one loved you, and no one stopped it. I'm sorry bad things happen in the world and there are monsters and villains and people who hurt people. You didn't deserve it. You never deserved it. Not after the first spawn, or the second. Not after the hundredth spawn. If you had gone through with it---I would've understood. Its too much to bear, and I wish. I wish I could help you bear it. I can't give you the world, I can't give you safety, I can't even give you my love without scaring you away. But please don't think---because of my Father---that I don't---that I won't try to understand you---after everything we've been through together.

"I... honestly don't know what choice I would have made, if I was in your shoes."

Thank Gods he wasn't. Hopefully no one ever will be again. If Astarion's pain is a solitary sin, a blight against the world's goodness, a testament to the power of evil and wrong---then let his healing be its greatest triumph, proof that good things can happen, to those who deserve it most.

[thessalian]

Thess vs Things Left Unsaid

I started the day going, "This is a day in which I am going to do absolutely nothing, except put food in my face and maybe go to the corner shop for a treat".

Except asking me to do literally nothing is too hard an ask and while I have gone through a fair bit of Stray Gods Act 1, I ... kind of need something with combat. Except I also sort of don't because oh dear gods I hurt.

Anyway, not the point. This was actually just a quick one about the recent Video Game Awards, which have been yelled about a lot lately. Honestly, it's deserved yelling. Basically it's "They gave more time to reveals and trailers than they did to the people accepting these awards", to the point of flashing a WRAP IT UP sign on the teleprompter as the acceptance speech for Baldur's Gate 3's GotY award was getting to the part where they were thanking the cinematic animation lead who literally died not long after the game was released to such acclaim.

I get why, even if I don't agree with why. The people running this event wanted to avoid any "awkward" speeches - ones that might touch on ... for example, the situation in Gaza and how a ceasefire would be really nice, or the literal thousands of people that game publishers have laid off over the last year or so to inflate their profit margins, or the toxic work culture in those companies, and so on and so on. Awkward shit like that. Things that are really important to hear about and think about, but that video game publishers probably don't want people to think about, so they want to ensure that nothing gets in the way of "VIDEO GAMES YAY!"

However. Once again, I give props to Neil Newbon. YouTube actually happened to recommend a clip of his acceptance speech, and ... okay. Y'all know as how TEH GAMERZ have been bitching about Baldur's Gate 3. "Pronouns", and having to endure male characters making passes at their male OC. "The Woke", basically. Hell, it's got even worse since a) some modders on Nexus made a mod that turned Dame Aylin male (Ser Aylin - for real) specifically to "make the relationship with Isobel more in line with medievel norms", and b) Nexus Mods shutting that homophobic piece of shit mod down. TEH GAMERZ are shitting themselves, and I can only cheer.

Anyway, point is, at the point where they must have flashed their stupid "WRAP IT UP" sign, after he'd thanked people as best he could in the thirty seconds or so they gave him and the "get off the stage" music was starting, he leaned into the microphone and started talking about how people all over the internet had said they felt seen by this game, and how grateful he was that they did - that those people were seen, and how he was thankful that the people who needed to be seen got to feel that way. And honestly? I don't think it was just the LGBTQAI+ community that he was talking about. Because the man played Astarion. And whether your playthrough has him queer or not, and honestly, all things considered, I doubt you can make Astarion's story not-queer, given that I imagine Cazador ... erm 'enjoyed' his thralls ... honestly, that's the point. It wasn't just the queer community that would almost certainly feel seen by Baldur's Gate 3.

Two words: abuse survivors.

Astarion. Shadowheart. Karlach. Wyll to a point. Hell, technically Lae'zel. So many of the companions in Baldur's Gate 3 have been in some way abused and lied to by someone with power over them (twice in Karlach's case). And in this game, you not only see what it does to those characters but you can help. For those who are living through or even have just escaped from abuse ... they can be the protector that they wanted and needed, but maybe never had. They can see, at a remove, the strong temptation to become the abuser - or at least be like the abuser - because when you're abused, the idea is basically shoved in your face that the only way to be safe from abuse is to have the power your abuser has. Astarion's story in particular gives the option of a more healthy way to heal.

It was such an important thing to say, and Newbon did what he could to say it despite the organisers only wanting their winners to say the briefest of thank-yous before running off to leave more time for previews, trailers, and new release announcements. It was rushed, but he felt it was important enough to at least get out there, as a message, so he did what he could in the brief time he was allowed. I do very much appreciate that man.

In other news, I'm a bit of an idiot. I got to a point in Stray Gods where I was going, "Wait, I know that voice. Where do I know that voice from? Okay, here's IMDB ... I know that name. From somewhere big. Why do I know that name?" And it took a lot of scrolling to remember that Kimberly Brooks voiced Ashley Williams in Mass Effect. Then again, I admit that a) I haven't played ME1 in awhile because even in the LE, the UI is still a little iffy, and b) because of the logic my Shepards generally use, Ashley has never once been my VS. Not that I don't like the character; just ... the way shit pans out on Virmire, usually. Also c) I'm pretty shit at names anyway.

Right. Back to the vegetation. I'll probably throw on some trousers and go to the corner shop soon, and then I have an apparently easy recipe for gluten-free toad in the hole, and nice long hot bath later. Anything to get rid of the migraine, the aches, and this tic under my right eye that's been there for three straight days now and is driving me ever-so-slightly crazy. And then tomorrow, back to work, and wondering exactly what horrors the other staffers have left for me. Five hours, I worked last night and I still barely feel like I made a dent. Couldn't finish all of Friday's (partly because a lot of them were long and complicated, but mostly because there were a lot of them) and definitely couldn't touch any of the stuff done on Saturday and Sunday. At this rate, I'm going to be on overtime until the Christmas holidays. I just keep reminding myself that I did actually make a dent and it's not my fault that people just keep filling that dent up with more work. It helps. Not enough for me not to dread what the queue will look like tomorrow, but it helps.