#holy shit god fuck i love this
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I don't remember this but HOLY FUCKING SHIIIIIITT LLOYD WAS CONFIRMED TO BE AT LEAST 9 YEARS OLD HERE AND HE WAS ABLE TO DO THAT??? JESUS FUCK
#This might be proof that lloyd is quite jacked#i mean lloyd literally cracked the entire floor split open under ONE fucking FIST#and in dragons rising lloyd literally blocked the empress' sword on her big mech with his tiny ass gold sword#and lloyd also literally lifted and threw kai across the ship in dragons rising too..#and in the magazine comics (not entirely canon sadly) lloyd threw a big ass enormous fucking vengestone mech in his oni form with his HANDS#ANNNNDDD lloyd can even handle the power of the source dragon in dragons rising..#ANNNNNDD the original ending for crystallised was gonna be about lloyd lost in his oni form and beating the overlords ass and rule ninjago..#in which apparently the ninja save him from the power of FRIENDSHIP#lloyd literally fell on piles of glass and wasn't bothered by it#HE WAS 9 AND HE FELL ON PILES OF GLASS WITH NO HESITATION!?!?!#fucking OUCH#and yet wu says lloyd is “the wise one” fuck that shit he should become a GOD#lloyd literally risked to sacrifice his life to the three dragon cores in dragons rising like holy fucking shit I'd marry him#if lloyd was a villain I'd fucking root for him so hard I'd be on my knees they should make it happen PLEASE PLES PLEASEE#sorry i love lloyd hes my wife#ninjago#ninjago fandom#lloyd garmadon#lloyd montgomery garmadon#lloyd garmadon ninjago#ninjago lloyd#lloyd ninjago#ninjago lloyd garmadon
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A little different than last year's, but here we are again. To say that this past year hasn't been absolutely wild would be a lie, cause HOLY SHIT MAN
This year's birthday is. A little different for me, but you already have the silly comic to show that so I won't make like a broken record oops
But, despite the changes and hills that life's decided I should climb or throw at, it hasn't changed the fact that I'm so genuinely fucking thankful to the people that I've known since joining this fandom. I'm not even kidding when I say that being here has actually changed my life for the better. I know I said something similar last year, but this time, hoo boy it sure turned up the AMP and test how far I could go.
So, to everyone, both new and old; thank you for being here :D
@garbagechocolate @darkxsoulzyx @smoljeanius @bunmuffin @skizabaa
@tuzesdays @sleepykas @fernzwing @kandidandi @starsketchez
@just-a-drawing-bean @notdysfunk @ilsole @amberluvsbugs @cloudyvoid
@nomsthecat @alfinefalf @nosleepygay @theblog-with-thestuff
@cacaocheri
(Edit: ty kibbits for informing me of the. Fuck ass tagging system)
AND TAGGING OTHERS BECAUSE. POINTS. BONKS WITH HEAD. GETTING TO EITHER INTERACT OR TALK OR WHATEVER IS ALWAYS A DELIGHT
@ohno-the-sun @kibbits @ink-yy @saltyfryz @kaprisvn
@hierba-picante @sunny-sophies-garden @cookiiemancer @sneeblbop @justaduckarts
@pepethehumanz @crystalmagpie447 @woolysstuff @mocha-illustrates @duhsty1
@sanchensky @pillowspace @victarin @witherfide
[I DEFINITELY GOT SONAS WRONG AND THESE AREN'T ALL THE SILLY PEOPLE I KNOW BUT IM SITTING HERE AT 2:30 IN THE MORNING JUST KNOW YOU'RE THERE IN SPIRIT HANDING YOU ALL POPTARTS WAUGH]
#nebula art and doodles#should. i even count it as that-#nebula birthday time#fuck it birthday tag go brrr#also if i. didnt tag you it is 100% because i'm. a fucking coward <33 and am not sure if you'd like to be tagged in a silly thing like this#(or i don't. know you. that also but shaky thumbs up)#god. this year has been. insane dawg#my goofy ass going through canon events like it's a buffet /silly#jokes aside#the fact that im still like. here. right here#posting or reblogging goofy shit#still in the process of making my fic (i prommy im working on it)#and just. managing to make friends with people despite shit happening#it's so wild to me#i know for some people i've tagged we either haven't talked that much or haven't talked in awhile#and to that i say#fuck it we ball /j#but seriously it's. honestly bc getting to interact with you guys at all makes or has made my day that much brighter#even if it's been awhile like i mentioned or for whatever reason#this is. getting long as hell and i need to go to bed oops#anywhooooo#gotta go fast or some shit#OH- and thank you all so much for. almost 3k. holy shit#where the fuck did you all COME FROM HOW DID WE GET HERE#big heart emojis and sending love to you all#thank you so much
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Catching up on more recent FT stuff and um
EDO LUCY HAS A KID?
EDO LUCY AND EDO NATSU ARE MARRIED??? AND HAVE A DAUGHTER?? NALU CANON???
Also oh my FUCKING god look at him. He’s such a proud dad I’m going to throw up I love him so much
And the fact that Natsu gets attached to her IMMEDIATELY and goes into overprotective Dad Mode when she’s not even his daughter, technically (and Gray too over his own Edo kid 🤧)
Natsu: I’ve decided I’m taking her home with me. No objections
HOMIE DEADASS IS SIGNING THE ADOPTION PAPERS ALREADY. It was love at first sight. Natsu loves her so much he wants to kidnap her. Shut UP,
#SCREAMING ABAHEJJFJSJFNSNSNS#A. I fucking LOVE the Edolas arc and the entire concept of mirror people#B. I fucking love Edo Natsu so much holy SHIT. AND I FIND OUT HE MARRIED LUCY AND IS A DAD. SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP#C. Natsu being 100% ready to throw down for Nasha AND take her home with him. 11/10 Dad Material#Also the fact that Natsu was not fazed WHATSOEVER at Edo Lucy and Edo Natsu being a couple#He saw their daughter and was like oh my god. I’m going to have a kid like this with Lucy someday.#I’M THROWING A FUCKIGN FIT OVER HERE OH MY GODDDDDDD#Gray: Yeah so I met our alternate selves and they’re married and have a kid and I tried to take him back with me but I couldn’t#Juvia: GRAY-SAMA??????#Idk if Nalu isn’t endgame canon they’re canon in Edolas and that’s ENOUGH FOR ME#Fairy Tail#FT#Fairy Tail spoilers#Shima speaks#Nalu
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The silly stupid alien show about ghosts that steal your cock and balls just pulled the most gut wrenching, poignant shit possible and portrayed it so artistically and meaningfully what is even life.
This was MASTERFULLY done. The visual and environmental storytelling, the subtle foreshadowing, and inject those motifs into my fucking BLOOD.
Ho. Ly shit. Good fucking lord.
#dandadan#dandadan episode 7#ok so it should come as no surprise that i grew up on paranormal stories about ghosts aliens cryptids urban legends the whole nine yards#acrobatic sara sara is one japanese urban legend i don't see portyayed a lot. it's a bit nore obscure so when i saw they included her#i was IMMEDIATELY hyped.#but this episode#they did something so different#so unique#this is what i love about adaptations of urban legends you can do so much with them put so much meaning into something so underdeveloped#and what they did with that concept. holy shit.#they took a baseline legend about an underrated woman yokai - something that there are plenty of - saw her gimmick#and just shot it out of the motherfucking park.#it made me insane and then it made me cry so hard i gagged im dead serious.#the art in this show has been beautiful so far but never has it meant as much to me as it did here.#i love these characters so fucking much.#i need to read the manga. please dear god someone tell me where i can read the manga for free.#acrobatic silky#dandadan spoilers#dandadan acrobatic silky#dandadan aira#aira shiratori#if you hate aira shiratori genuinely fuck all the way off.
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I uh, got myslef into another fandom... Send help I'm gonna go insane and binge the whole show second time in a row aaaaaaaaaa
#the magnus archives#tma#tma fanart#The magnus archives fanart#jonathan sims#tma jon#the archivist#Holy fucking shit this show is godly good oh my god i love it h#Give me another 200 episodes#What am i supposed to do with my life now????????#art
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There is something so horrifically poetic about Evan surviving so much and then dying the way he did.
Years of haunting, isolation, abuse, terror around every corner. Constantly having to understand that the most dangerous thing in any room is himself no matter how much he didn't want to be. At the same time having to contest that with the fact that he is deeply vulnerable. Never getting out of any situation without somebody getting hurt, just hoping and begging that the brunt of it ends up on the people who deserve it, but not really having any control over that.
He survived all of that. Only a few scars to show for it.
And the thing that killed him was a naive attempt at kindness.
#k tanaka#evan kelmp#gonna be thinking about this for. so. so long#k i could never hate you but HOLY SHIT#god just imagining being in either of their positions is excruciating#this is played so goddamn well#i love fucked up stories and fucked up characters who do fucked up things#misfits and magic#misfits and magic 2#misfits in magic 2 episode 3#dimension20#misfits and magic spoilers
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Hollowframe 56 - Dante
IT'S DONE
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
anyways uh I've been working on this for entirely too long but it's also my most technically accomplished piece so far so I'm very happy rn
wip montage vid thingy:
links and stuff below the cut!
High quality on Artstation:
Free (or pay what you want!) Google Drive link for the entire Hollowframe Project on my Ko-Fi:
Previous Hollowframe update (Hollowframe 57 + Umbra poster):
Previous Hollowframe solo illustration (Qorvex):
#finished it on my laptop on the last night of a visit to my mom's place and was like “...wait holy shit it's done wtf”#god i have such a love hate relationship with this piece but i'm really happy with it now#...now i have to move onto another piece fuck#warframe#warframe fanart#warframe dante#wf tag#my art#UpsideDownSmore's art#hollowframe#hollow knight#hollow knight fanart#krita#art
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Poor sweet thing~ It’s hard getting exactly what you want, isn’t it~?
Original sketch and plain ‘ol lineart under the cut, ‘cause I know some of you like to see my process. 💙
#fluffyspice#in case you forgot#this is my suggestive tag!#suggestive#tickling art#tickling#tickle art#tickle#fluffyart#avery nimbus#tickling community#lee!avery#lee Avery my looooovvveeee it’s been too long sweetheart 💙💙💙💙💙#god I love this lineart brush holy shit#armpit tickling#ticklish armpits#armpit tickle#underarm tickling#um //////////#yeah#@//////////////@#tickles#like#a gentle tickle that is just… the sweetest torture#guhhh /////////#I’m normal as fuck right now
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For all time? Always.
#so. the loki finale#Holy shit#I needed to get this out of my head before going to sleep. god#Loki#loki spoilers#loki season 2#loki series#God of stories everyone#THIS IS WHY I FUCKING LOVE HIS CHARACTER#EVERYONE GO READ THE COMICS#RIGHT NOW#loki laufeyson#loki odinson#loki season 2 spoilers#loki show#loki season two#loki god of mischief#loki god of stories
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fear the forest collab with @psycho-chair!!!!!! chair did the sketching and lines and i did the colors and rendering :]
+ alt version under the cut
killer belongs to rahafwabas cross belongs to jael peñaloza fear the forest belongs to me and chair
#armageddon art#cross sans#killer sans#cross!sans#killer!sans#cross x killer#killer x cross#kross ship#criller#sanscest#utmv#sans au#ut au#collab pog yippee#fear the forest save me etc etc#god this was so so fun dude. god#i fucking love rendering holy shit#and i just got to stare at chair’s art the whole time CACKLES /silly#fear the forest
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HELLO?!??!!?
Im
Not okay
Please wait 1-2 business days to contact Kay about this Dawnbreaker looking mother fucker and his Hungry Like the Wolf kiss.
Because I NEED A MOMENT
Link for you guys
#not me having a whole ass flip out lmao#he just DEVOURED HER JESUS CHRIST#im weak#i beyond weak#ive descended to puddle#a puddle of ��oh fuck oh fuck what the fuck oh my god holy shit Zayne wtf”#lnds#love and deepspace#lads#l&ds#love & deepspace#zayne#zayne love and deepspace#dawnbreaker#i know its not DB technically but you cannot tell me that outfit isnt just DB with a beige vest 🧐
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update to the Playing Undertale With Roommate Whose Only Social Media is Pinterest situation: we only just got to waterfall and so far it has been a fucking trip
they have No Idea the significance of Flowey yet. not even a hint. they thought the sans echo flower conversation was about echo flowers
during the papyrus date and especially when they got to his room they kept looking at me and saying "THIS is your man????" which they stopped asking after the date. they have read some of my fics. i do not think i am any less insane to them now
they gave papyrus a valley girl voice btw. mostly because i had to beg them not to give him a mickey mouse voice instead
they didn't fucking know what skeletor sounds like
bc i know The Efficient Ways to do Things and they don't they've been reminding me of a buncha details & lines of dialogue I don't actually have embedded in my memory. particularly "PAPYRUS IS HUNGRY, TOO! HUNGRY FOR JUSTICE!"
they got the "Can I speak to G..." phone call. i have never once gotten that in any of my playthroughs, probably because i don't usually go up to that area but still. ik its not REALLY rare but i have never actually seen it Organically before so it was crazy to ME
Dogsong is my morning alarm ok. so when it showed up in the game and they realized they recognized it on a subconscious level they looked physically pained
Undyne's first chase scene scared the shit out of them
#trousled rambles#somehow i always forget how much i love this game until i see someone play it for the first time and go Oh Right I Fucking Love This Game#i'll also add i thought i was chill and cool with not backseating & stuff but oh my god its so hard. oh im one of those fans holy shit#watching them figure out some of the puzzles hurt so bad man. oh my god#physically holding back nearly 9 years of brainrot as i watch them fall off the slippery ice x & o puzzle 48 times
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if i just told you i love you would this world change
#witch hat tag#orufrey#these kinda suck lol i feel like i cant draw right now *irritated sigh* BUT I FEEL EMOTIONS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#if you are gay go watch good omens season 2 right now. NO YOU DONT KNOW THO!!!!!!!!!#i know being this affected by good omens is probably cringe. I dont care any more. the last 1 minute of good omens season 2 was#some of the most affecting acting i've ever seen in my life. sometimes someone acts with the force as if their entire career led to that#like during the credits part the very end im not even talking about before that. holy god#aziraphale i know everything about you. i know what you are feeling right now. i can see everything on your face. we're going to make it#ER.... NOT THAT THIS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS POST. IT'S NOT SPOILERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!#I JUST FEEL THOROUGHLY CHANGED !!!!!!!!!!! SHIT GETS REAL FROM NOW ON.. LIKE IN GENERAL! IN MY LIFE!#tormented gay love tormented gay love TORMENTED GAY LOVE TORMENTED GAY LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#btw the first 3 images were drawn earlier with an entirely different feeling and an entirely different mood.#Why do you keep pulling away from me?#It is because i love you that i do this#the lyrics from one of my japanese orufrey songs (A SONG THAT THE CREATOR LISTENS TO!!!!) led to feelings#“あなたが知らない私を残さず見ててほしいの” but i'm not translating it cause it just sounds weird. if with his eyes oru's asking “WHY don't you want#to let me in? to see all of you?“ those lyrics are like ”I actually want you to see every last bit of the parts of me you don't know“#oru you have no idea how much i want to lay bare my whole soul for you#maybe it's an alternate version of chapter 40. to me#i need to draw something really fucking good or i'm not going to forgive myself. i will not rest in this life#until i have made the orufrey that fully satisfies me nor until i have seen what the manga is leading to#NO STORY MEANS ANYTHING WITHOUT TORMENTED GAY LOVE AT THE HEART OF IT. THATS THE HEART OF THIS WORLD!!!!!#........... so Hi im normal :) haha *goes and finally makes breakfast*
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Ideal ending to WCI is Luffy seeing Sanji cry and then awakening his devil fruit and unlocking Gear Fifth out of sheer RAGE and saying the classic line of “Who made you cry, Sanji?! I’ll DESTROY THEM!!!” and then proceeding to go on a rampage and fucking absolutely EVERYBODY up including the Vinsmokes, Pudding, AND the Big Mom Pirates. Toss in the trope of came back wrong and Sanji can immediately tell something is not right about this Luffy, whose smile is too wide, whose eyes are too distant, who continues to beat upon his enemies long after they’re down, who seems to take a sick sort of pleasure in hurting others, who grins and giggles and tells Sanji he’ll obliterate anything that makes him cry. Eventually he starts to scare Sanji so bad that even Luffy notices his reaction, and immediately turns on himself because if HE’S the one making Sanji cry then he’ll just have to destroy himself too. And that’s when Sanji finally leaps into action and does whatever he can to reach Luffy—including kissing him. Luckily that was exactly what Luffy needed to snap out of it, and when he comes to the Whole Cake Chateau is in broken pieces, the Big Mom Pirates are battered beyond fighting and the Vinsmokes are nowhere to be seen. And softly, tiredly, he asks if they won, if he can bring Sanji home, and Sanji cries again and says yes, take me home to the Sunny, I want to go home with you.
Meanwhile the rest of the Strawhats are like
#One Piece#Luffy#Monkey D Luffy#Sanlu#Lusan#Sanji#Black Leg Sanji#Really what I’m saying is that I want Luffy to go Gear Fifth during WCI. And there’s Sanlu involved.#LMAO#Also I remember reading a Gear 5 Luffy fic where he ties people together in knots. Like that’s FUCKED up#And he would ABSOLUTELY do that in this situation. For funsies. To be silly 🤪#Sanji watches in horror as Luffy uses somebody as a jumprope. To Luffy this is a Normal thing to do#Sanji torn between ‘Holy shit I’m so in love with him rn’ and ‘What the actual FUCK is that thing wearing Luffy’s face’#We’ll get eldritch god vibes up in here.#Luffy uses Conqueror’s Haki so powerful it even brings Big Mom down to her knees#Pudding starts crying out of fear and Luffy’s like :)))) Good. Suffer#He can be scary AND silly. As a treat#They had back to the Sunny eventually and Sanji’s like. Well. That happened#*head#(He also has to mentally process the fact that the regular Luffy—HIS Luffy—only came back to him after he kissed him)#(But again he doesn’t have time to unpack all that right now)#Shima speaks#Sorry it’s self indulgent hours over here. I’m getting sick again and I need some way to cope. Lol#(And I mean actually sick I’ve had the worst sore throat known to man since yesterday)
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hey, dont be sad. dallon weekes big silly grin, ok?
<3
#i just spent like an hour compiling a bunch of dallon smiles into an album and AUSGGSSNSGDJFODHDDNDHHDHSPSJTHJEHGAHDNFJSGBDNXHXLFKDHSJDNSHS#FUCK#OH MY GOD#HES SO BEAUTIFUL HOLY SHIT#dallon weekes#idkhow#chase said something alright#smiles#genuinely i love him so much. oh my god#notice how the majority of them are him in idkhow. sorry who said thag#seriously though i combed through my photos. out of the like 400 smiles about 10 of them are of him in panic#anyway he makes me so happy. oh my god#:) <3#🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 AAUHGGGGGGGHHHHHH
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If the Shoe Fits, Then I Won’t Try It On
Omg I made it! Threw this one together today, so might not be my best! But thanks to my pal @every-moment-a-different-sound making these gorgeous gifs for my fic Outside Looking In, and also @wordsinhaled writing this lovely little fic inspired by it, I felt compelled to pop back in and give the disguise altar egos a little love! So this one is set pre-canon, about seven years into the boys' friendship/detective agency, and it's the first outing of the disguises (in their very early and imperfect forms! I like to think Charles has been experimenting over the years and the ones we've seen in show are just like, the latest versions!). It can really only be called case fic by the barest technicality but it's the best I got xD There's some nebulous Edwin gender-feelings, I'll leave it up to your personal preferences/interpretation whether it's a bit of transfem/nonbinary/genderqueer joy or just a boy's formative experience with drag, this baby can fit so much gender!! And references to fictionalised alcohol abuse, gambling and infidelity, but it's all just banter and tall tales, really. 2k, T-rated, also available on Ao3. Thanks again, @painlandweek!
"Perhaps we ought to rethink this strategy," Edwin muttered, fussing with his skirts.
"Relax, it'll be fine," said Charles. "No one's gonna suspect anything."
"They may suspect something," said Edwin. His voice sounded different, but the tone was one Charles had heard a thousand times before — pessimistic and haughty. Edwin seemed to pick up extra helpings of poshness when he was rattled. "They needn’t ascertain the exact nature of our ruse to know we're playing one."
"What? You think they're gonna be expecting someone to go in for fake marriage counselling?" Charles laughed.
"Stranger things have happened, Charles." Edwin spread his hand and swept it, gesturing between them and their magical disguises. "Q.E.D."
Charles looked at him blankly.
"Quod erat demonstrandum."
"Mate. They haven't taught Latin in that school for donkey's years."
Edwin made a noise of frustration — it had a bit of a high pitched, trilling quality with his fancy new vocal chords. "What I mean to say is that you and I are — figuratively speaking — living proof that real life is stranger than fiction."
"Well, yeah. But only to people who know ghosts exist," Charles reasoned. "And if this lady knew that, our client wouldn't've needed to come to us, would she? She'd've haunted the information out of her already."
Edwin exhaled, a quick, nasal huff like a bull, and pinched the bridge of his nose. His fingers bumped the chunky plastic frames of his enchanted glasses. "Pity. If she could see us, there'd be no need of these ridiculous costumes."
"I think we look brills," Charles beamed, proudly straightening out his big red rain mac. Sure, the disguises weren't perfect — he was still getting the hang of tweaking the enchantment. And yeah, he'd ballsed up his own bald spot at first, made it too big and just a little bit sort of... Australia-shaped. But all in all, he thought they looked mint! No one was gonna suspect them of anything, couple of old geezers. Who'd think they were a crack detective team?
Edwin was obviously having a harder time settling into character. He kept on faffing about with his unfamiliar layers of flowy clothing. Kept tugging on his little blue cashmere scarf, changing his mind on the drape of it — getting thrown whenever a tug of the fabric dislodged the waves of hair on his shoulders. Charles really hadn't got the hang of hair, just yet. He'd been aiming for something a bit classic and classy for Edwin, something honey-blonde and neatly coiffed. Instead he'd ended up with straw-like, brittle strands of peroxide white with... maybe just a hint of green. Charles would have to get that sorted out sharpish before they brought these disguises out again. Edwin would never let himself walk around looking less than his best if he had any say in it!
Charles turned to him, properly, grabbing Edwin's restless hands away from his scarf. "Eds. You look fine. Nice, even! Leave it."
Edwin glared at him, brow wrinkled. If Charles was being honest, the weirdest thing about seeing Edwin like this wasn't the fact that he looked blonder or older or, well. Like a woman. No, weirdest thing by far was how much thinner his eyebrows were. Charles had probably made them a bit too thin, he'd have to fix that, too. They were decent eyebrows! Visible, at least. But they were skinny and pale and neatly plucked, no little dusty dark hairs in between. Charles sort of missed them. He'd gotten used to those thick, dark brows scrunching up at him like grumpy caterpillars when Edwin was ticked off about something.
"It hardly matters if I look nice, Charles," he said, with a little belligerent flick of his hair that sent it flying. Charles probably should've made him a hairband or something — all long and loose, Edwin couldn't seem to get his hair off his mind. "But I do need to look convincing."
"You do! It's a good disguise, mate — made it special, didn't I?"
"I never said it wasn't." Edwin sighed, eyes fluttering closed a moment. Charles winced — maybe he'd overdone it a bit with the eyeshadow. There was a bit of colour-clashing going on, but hey-ho. Sort that in the next edit, too. "I am not concerned with the quality of the work, Charles."
"What is it, then?" asked Charles, dropping Edwin's hands to squeeze his shoulders instead. "What's got you all het up?"
Edwin shifted on his feet. His high heels clicked on the concrete porch. "I am merely concerned that I'm not... wearing it well," he said, a little bit through his teeth. "I don't want to compromise the entire investigation because I'm unable to act in a... befitting manner."
"Well, you're not gonna. Mate, you're doing brills." Charles smoothed down the big, floppy collar on Edwin's trenchcoat — he tried to do a Casablanca thing, but he might've gone a bit overboard — and grinned at him. "You're a natural. The way you stand all straight and that. Christ, you could've been walking in them heels for years! You're smashing it. For reals."
Edwin ducked his head, with the smallest smile. It was so Edwin that Charles could almost see the shape of him through the disguise; high, sharp bones under those rouged apple cheeks. Could almost spy that little spot on his chin. Actually, the chin wasn't a million miles off Edwin's own, with that barely noticeable little dimple in the middle. Maybe Charles had been taking some inspiration, subconsciously.
"I don't come across... peculiar?" asked Edwin.
"No. 'Course not." Charles sighed and patted his shoulders. "But look. If it's too weird for you, I can be the girl."
Edwin's brow twitched.
Alright. So maybe Charles could've worded that better. He coughed and took a step back, shoving hands in his pockets. "I mean, y'know. Bet I can manage it. How hard can it be? Probably won't be as like, chic as you, but I could give it a go."
Edwin pursed his lips, looking off to the side. He was fiddling with the rings on his fingers — maybe Charles had overdone them too, a bit.
"It... doesn't feel strange," said Edwin, quiet as a mouse. He couldn't seem to look Charles in the eyes. "It doesn't feel strange at all."
Charles smiled, all warm in the chest. Edwin had been a closed-off, buttoned-up sort of chap as long as Charles had known him — seven years and counting. Every time he offered up something of himself, Charles wanted to cup it in his hands.
"Oi," he said, gently, waiting for Edwin to look at him. "Suits you, mate."
Edwin smiled again, a barely-there twitch of his tinted lips. But he gathered himself quickly, clearing his throat and adjusting his scarf. "Well. We'd best be be getting on. We're due for our 'appointment' any minute now."
"Right."
"Shall we walk through the plan once more?"
"Go in, introduce ourselves, spin a backstory for a bit, make her think we're legit," said Charles. "Angle for a bit of one-on-one time. I keep talking, see if I can get her to slip up, drop us a hint — while you sneak off, search the office."
"Spot on," said Edwin, with a brisk nod. "According to our client, this woman writes down everything. No doubt she stores her more sensitive journals somewhere apart from the rest, somewhere discreet. Find the journals..."
"Find the body," Charles agreed, tilting his head side to side to crack his neck. "She'll have written down what she did with it for sure."
"Precisely. Right. That's the aim." Edwin steepled his fingers. "And we are...?"
"Edie and Colin Cromley," Charles replied, automatic. He should bloody well hope he knew that one — he'd had to put up with Edwin calling him Colin all night, trying to get him into character.
"Correct. And we are here because of discord in our marriage, resulting in my alcohol dependence and your extramarital affair."
Charles frowned. "Right..."
Edwin cocked his head a little. "Is there a problem?"
"You, uh. You ever actually been drunk before, mate?"
"Not as such, no," said Edwin, primly. "But, as we've quite thoroughly ascertained, I've never been a woman before, either."
Charles snorted. "Yeah, yeah. Fair point."
Edwin's manicured finger hovered over the doorbell. "Right. Are we quite ready?"
"Yeah," Charles mumbled, fidgeting on his feet. "Yeah, s'pose."
Slowly, Edwin lowered his hand. "Charles. We must be on the same page if we're to go inside and sell a convincing fiction."
"Just... feels a bit weird, is all."
"Why? You've always enjoyed undercover work in the past."
Charles shrugged. "Just... feels off. I wouldn't do that to you, y'know? Cheat, I mean. If we were married."
Edwin stared at him. "But we're... not married."
"Yeah, obviously." Charles felt all hot in the face, embarrassed. He should've just kept his big mouth shut. "Just saying, like — I wouldn't mess around on you like that. Or anyone," he added, quickly, because he was making things weird again, fuck's sake —
"Charles," said Edwin, amused. "Are you having ethical qualms about the character you're playing in this scenario?"
And alright, yeah. It sounded bloody ridiculous when you put it like that. Charles huffed out a laugh. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Just — it's hard, yeah? Dunno how I'd even pretend I'd screw you around like that."
Edwin hummed, toying thoughtfully with the dangly end of his scarf. "Perhaps... I could play the unfaithful partner?"
"You want to?"
"... No. No, not particularly." He pressed his fists together. "Hm. Perhaps infidelity is the wrong narrative for Mr. and Mrs. Cromley."
"Not believable, is it?"
Edwin chuckled. "No. No, I suppose not. Hm. Back to the drawing board..."
Charles mulled it over, tugging on his earlobe. "How about... right, okay, how about, yeah, if I have a secret gambling problem?"
"That does feel more authentic — we've had plenty of words about your impulsive decision-making," Edwin teased. He nodded, eyes sharp as he formulated the new story in that big brain of his. "Very well, a gambling problem is it. You've been losing money at the races —"
"Reckon I'm more of a footie bloke. Big bets on the big games."
"You've been losing money at various sporting events," Edwin corrected, rolling his eyes. "And the extent of your debt has recently come to my attention."
"You should see how much I lost on the cricket world cup," said Charles, seriously.
"Oh, believe you me, I did. Hence, marriage counselling."
"And boozing."
"Indeed. I knew the problem needed addressing a month ago," said Edwin, fingers gesticulating as he spun his little yarn. "When I visited our local public house for a consolatory tipple and became positively sozzled on sherry."
Charles chuckled. "Sure you wanna go with sherry?"
"Is it not appropriate?"
"I mean. It's fine," said Charles, raising his hands. "Nothing wrong with it! Just doesn't sound like your usual sort of, uh, blackout drunk sort of booze. Never heard of anyone going on a sherry bender."
"Well, what would be your suggestion?" Edwin challenged.
Charles wasn't actually sure, come to think of it. What did middle-aged classy ladies drink to get sloshed? "Um... well. Me and the lads used to get pissed on White Lightning after school."
"Very well, then. I overindulged on White Lightning. Happy?"
"Aces."
"Right. Well, now that's all straightened out..." Edwin lifted his finger to the bell again. "Shall we?"
"Go for it."
Edwin rang the bell — and when he dropped his hand, Charles picked it up. Edwin looked at him, quizzical.
"What?" said Charles. "Meant to be a couple, in't we?"
"One in the throes of marital strife," said Edwin, a little smile on his lips. "I doubt we'll be expected to be affectionate."
"Right. 'Course not," Charles agreed — but he didn't let go.
Edwin chuckled, and stayed put. His hand felt small, smaller than it ever had the few times Charles had held it — usually when he was hauling Edwin out of harm's way. Small and bony, lined with soft wrinkles, dotted in sun spots. Couldn't be much further from Edwin's long, lean, smooth hands if it tried.
But it fit in Charles' hand just the same.
~~
Hope you liked it! Probs won't be one tomorrow unless I can whip up something suuuuper short/quick or I find an existing WIP to polish off, but there'll defo be fic on Sunday! Thank you so much for all your love and comments I seriously appreciate them beyond words 💛💛💛💛💛💛
#painlandweek#painland week#payneland#dead boy detectives#dbda#my fanfic#BARELY scraped this one together#i wanna shout out the lovely payneland community who helped me brainstorm ideas for a fic that#sadly#untimately ended up too involved for me to write/finish today#y'all are angels and also SO fucking funny holy shit#anyway have fun!!#REALLY interesting writing charles and edwin at a different level of friendship/intimacy than i've done before#not brand new not 30 years in#just sort of... beginning to find their way#god i love them
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