#holy fucking shit what the hell you are so so so good?!
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The first fantasy I had of you...
(oh Internet, hold my beer. I am so good at objectifying Spencer)
You are walking towards me, intently rolling up the sleeves of your dress shirt as you keep your gaze focused only on me. The folds are neat and crisp, using your starched cuff as the guide, your deft fingers working the fabric perfectly despite never looking down at your work. After the folding is done you push it up your arm so it rests neatly at your elbow. One.. then the other. It shouldn't be this sexual to watch someone roll up their sleeves, but here I am, trapped like a deer in headlights. Holy hell.
Your gait is determined, predatory, even. I take a step back as you advance and swallow hard, my breathing becoming rapid as I realize I'm your target. I take another step back. You're much closer despite my feeble attempt to retreat and I can feel my brain get fuzzy as I am drawn into your liquid amber eyes. I blink so slowly at you, physically unable to look away. Shit.
With the distance between us ever-shrinking, I reach a hand out behind me, daring another shaky step. I take in everything. Especially, you. You're freshly shaved. Your shirt is precisely tailored to your lithe frame. You matched your belt to your shoes. Your pants are my favorite office slim-fit mid-rise that do absolutely nothing to hide your cock as it thickens as your long and purposeful stride continues for me. You're chewing gum. Shit, shit, shit...
My frantic hand touches the cool wall behind me and I realize I'm not breathing. I plaster my back against it as you take your last step and finally close the gap. Your left arm shoots out, and you splay your large hand on the wall next to my ear; your right-hand retreats to your pocket to stroke your hardened cock. Your entire body looms over me, and suddenly, I'm aware of myself.
I'm wearing flats, you're towering over me. My dress is barely office appropriate as my full tits sit high on my chest, perfect for you to look down upon. The hemline of my skirt brushes the middle of my thighs, but as the heat from your eyes bores into me, it feels so much shorter. My hair is down, tosseleld from playing with it as I write and work my cases. I have my reading glasses on and I am not wearing a stitch of makeup. With no makeup to hide behind, I can feel my face flush with desire as I pray I don't turn the same shade of garnet as my dress. I'm fucked.
Instinctively I arch my back against the wall, pulling my left leg up so my foot sits flat against it, taking considerable length from my skirt. The harder I arch into you, the closer you are to my offered breasts, threatening to spill from their cups. All it would take is a single finger to pull my dress down and free them. The weight of gravity under your gaze has tripled, and I am astounded that I haven't dropped to my knees before you. I finally manage a breath, and my chest heaves, and instantly, you read everything my needy body is saying.
A coy smile tugs at the corner of your mouth as the flustered sight of me pleases you. But you're not going to acknowledge that now; the only thing you're going to give me is total fucking dominance, and that's exactly what I want from you. You lean in so that our faces are inches apart. "Hey, girl," you say, lifting your chin, and the smell of your spearmint gum washes over me. "Hey, Spencer," I manage, barely audible as the heat between our bodies is a nearly unbearable force against my chest. I slide my leg down the wall so I can squeeze my thighs together to help soothe my throbbing clit.
Nothing gets past you. Your eyes give me the up and the down and I know you're enjoying this. My brain is betraying me by shutting off with each passing second. Soon the desperate cum slut will be in control and I might end up on my knees after all. "Where's your lunch?" I hear myself ask. Nailed it. Was that the most interesting thing I could have said? Why didn't I ask what you were having? How was that going to keep you here longer? I'm an absolute embarrassment and I've undoubtedly ruined this perfect moment at the...where the fuck are we? The printer. You have me up against the wall next to the fucking printer at work. Where anyone could see us. The thought of getting caught is thrilling, it's like pouring gasoline on a fire.
I peer up at you while I bite my bottom lip, and give my thighs an extra squeeze. I'm making an absolute mess of my panties, and if I can't keep my legs closed, my arousal will run down them for sure. To my amazement, your beautiful eyes grow wide at my question and a hungry smile cracks your face. You remove your hand from the wall and place it firmly on my hip to steady me, taking your foot to sweep my legs open so that I can no longer protect my throbbing center.
I let out a little moan, knowing that if I'm too loud we're fucked. Those glorious light gray dress pants are showing me every fucking inch of you how you're feeling, all 8 of them, to be exact. Another whimper as I see how far down your leg your cock goes, the fire in me raging. Knowing that if we're interrupted I'd rip someone's head off. Bringing your right hand out of your pocket, two of your lovely, slender finders expertly find their way between my pussy lips, pushing my panties below them right before you enter me. I'm going to hyperventilate. Don't you dare fucking stop.
"You're wearing it," you say, looking me dead in the eye as you slide your fingers in, then back and deep. My hands are off the wall, running down your chest as I curl around you. You suck a surprised breath through your teeth as you discover just how soaking wet I am. You deliberately pump your fingers several times, and your grip on my hip has become a vice. You close your eyes and clench your jaw as you finally withdraw from me and I make the most pathetic sound in the world. We both know we can't keep going, but I would rather get hit by a bus than have you stop.
Still in total disbelief, I watch as your hand leaves the comfort of my core and you bring your fingers to my mouth. Eagerly I open, sticking out my tongue as you offer me your middle finger and I don't hesitate to suck it clean. Before I can stop you or protest, you quickly snatch your hand away, preventing me from continuing to your index finger as you bring it to your mouth and suck. Holy fucking shit, Spencer. I'm a quivering mess and I look down at your cock and notice that precum has leaked out and has left a wet spot on your pants. You follow my gaze and say, "Nailed it," to which we both burst out laughing.
The printer finished God knows how long ago and I'm hoping we were able to use most of the noise to cover up my involuntarily reaction to your touch. You grab the stack of documents from the printer and hold them down to hide your massive erection and growing stain. All you say to me before you turn and go is, "Meet me on the patio in 5 minutes; we're taking your car". I'm reeling but I scramble back to my desk to get ready to head out. I begin searching my desk, where the fuck did it go? All I need to do before lunch is drop a copy of my crime report on my boss's desk. How did I lose something I just got up to.....print. Fuck. Spencer!
objectifying spencer is my full time job at this point
#spencer<3#lost in your eyes#own me#spencer reid#criminal minds#matthew gray gubler#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#work fantasy#addicted to you
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Sunglasses
Mid-Teen Turtles, Bro fic
Warnings: Autistic Character, Emotional Overwhelm, Guns, Eyes
Headcanons: Autistic Donnie, Donnie and Raph are twins (You can thank @the-cauldron-witch for this one. She said it and now it's forever in my brain)
"Just give them to me!"
"No! Hell no! I found em!"
"I know you f-" Donatello sighs, removes his glasses, and rubs his eyes, losing patience with his twin. "I know you found them, I just want to modify them a little."
It's not like he doesn't get it. The sunglasses are a big deal. But with Raph deciding he's going to be the one to punch first and not really bother with questions, his eyes need more protection than anyone's. Even outside of combat. More than once, he's found himself on the wrong end of some scared human's can of mace.
"Raph, they're plastic, if they shatter, that plastic is going in your eyes." Donnie insists.
"And if you're the one that shatters em, ain't gonna be no 'if' about it. No Donnie. I'll take my chances." Raphael storms off to his room, taking the glasses with him.
Three hours later, while his brother is sleeping, Don takes them anyway.
It's an act of sacrilege in this home, to take something like this. Something important. Practical and that fits them perfectly. He understands what this means. They don't have much, to put it very gently, so what little they have, what little they can find, and scavenge, and build themselves, is sacred.
But he hates it. Every time Raph throws himself into the meat grinder. Raph's eyesight is decent, and Donnie has a vested interest in making sure it stays that way. They've had so many talks about defensive equipment for his eyes that just end in Raph storming off. But he keeps trying. He has to.
The last attempt, involved trying to convince Raphael to let him build him goggles, but even for someone with a total of three other creatures on the planet to compare himself to, Raphael is vain. They all are, in a way, about certain things. Donnie gets it. They have no control over the fact that they aren't human, so what they *can* control about their bodies is important.
They had found them last night, attached to a discarded sporting goods mascot. They were scuffed and had a crack in them, but holy shit they fit! A pair of glasses that fits that Raphael is willing to wear. Donnie was excited! Finally!
He works through the day, and as expected, Donatello is informed the moment his brother wakes up by way of his name thundering through the lair in a rage. The glasses are not on the nightstand where Raph had left them.
Don winces, thankful to whatever power ensured he finished the project by nightfall, and tenses as he hears his brother storming towards the lab. If Raph had woken up half an hour before, he would have come in to see them in pieces, and would have *properly* freaked out. At least Donnie has a chance of talking him down now that they're finished and functional.
Don takes a deep breath and stands, preparing for the onslaught. When his brother comes into the room, his open hands are up in a placating gesture, "Okay, I know what you're gonna say and-"
"What the fuck Donnie?" He roars, backing his brother into one of the steel tables in the lab. "Where the fuck are they?"
"I promise, they're fine, I just wanted to-"
A soft, familiar sound rings through the air like a gunshot, freezing both of them, as their father clears his throat. He waits patiently for an explanation.
"I found some glasses yesterday, Dad. Ones that actually fit, and he took em for some fu-" Raphael chokes on the almost swear when his father raises an eyebrow, and clears his throat before continuing, "some science experiment."
Their father narrows his eyes at Donatello, who has the good sense to look ashamed. "Dad, if Raph is gonna be wearing them out on the street, I don't want them to break and hurt his eyes. I just wanted to make them stronger. That's all." He says, resisting the urge to shoot an annoyed look at his thick headed brother.
"Did you ask your brother if he would allow this?"
"Yes, Father."
"Did he offer them to you?"
Don hesitates and his father waits, "Well... No... but-"
"I told him no. I specifically told him no," Raphael cuts in. Splinter shoots him a look and he shuts up.
"But I just wanted them to actually protect his eyes! They were a time bomb! If he got hit in the face, he was gonna go blind!"
"Were?! Where the fuck are they, Donnie?" He demands, not even registering the swear word. He looks around and spots them on the work bench. Walking over, he snatches them up.
They look... exactly the same. Only they're heavier.
"I gave them a steel core and shatter proofed the lenses," Donnie snaps, only a little bitterness coming through, "you're welcome."
Raphael wants to be grateful, he really does. They're fine. Better than fine. In addition to the practical changes, his brother had gone so far as to buff out some of the scratches and they looked almost new. But the adrenaline from potentially losing something precious is still coursing through his veins and he's still angry at the violation. He doesn't look up.
"Was there a chance, Donatello," their father asks after a moment, "that in an effort to improve these glasses, you could have broken them beyond repair?"
"Well, I mean, there's always a chance of that happening," he admits, "...but I was careful!" he almost whines.
"Then you will spend the next hour in the hashi while you think of a way to apologize to your brother," Splinter looks at Raphael, "is this acceptable to you?"
Raph glares at him, silent, and nods.
They avoid the topic of the glasses altogether over the next week. Tempers wane, and Donnie serves his punishment, spending 20 hours of his lab time helping Raph with the Motorcycle he's been trying to build. The incident isn't mentioned again.
It's Wednesday night and they're downtown shutting down a gang fight. Pretty normal for this part of town. They thought they'd disarmed all of them first thing, standard protocol. They must have missed one.
The shot rings out, and Raph goes down, hands over his eyes.
Donnie takes out the last three, including the shooter, and sprints to his brother's side. Removing Raphael's hands from his face, they find the bullet stuck in one of the lenses. The glass is broken, but the shatterproof coating kept the shards together and out of Raph's eye.
They look up at each other, shocked at the close call, and Donnie tries *really* hard not to look smug. They make their way home soon after.
After showering and getting ready to sleep for the day, Raph wanders down to the lab.
"Hey, can I talk to you?"
Donnie looks up from the graphics card he's repairing and turns around in his chair. He nods.
"Sorry I gave you such a hard time about... you know. I know you were just trying to help."
"Dude, no," Donnie says, "You and Dad were right, what I did wasn't okay. It's just..." He sighs, "You're always the first one in, you know, and- I mean, you're right in the middle of everything... If you suddenly can't see... It's just, not being able to see sucks..." Donnie tries really hard to fight the overwhelm. Tapping the desk to keep himself grounded. This is important, damn it. If he loses it, this conversation is going nowhere
He's tried, he's tried before, but the thought of losing his twin terrifies him. His brother is reckless, and it's Donnie's job to make sure that doesn't get him killed.
He clenches his fists, his voice shutting down. Fuck. His jaw tightens and tears of worry and frustration prickle behind pleading eyes that meet Raphael's. He hopes his brother understands. He usually does. Emotions are hard for Donnie, expressing them, doubley so.
"Okay, how 'bout this," Raph offers, letting him off the hook. He tosses Donnie one of the small, metal brain teaser puzzles on his desk, "I'll agree to hear you out when it comes to my shit, as long as you don't just take it to play with. Deal?"
"Cool. Now," Raph says, pulling the glasses out of his pocket. He'd left the bullet in. It looked cool. "There something we can do about this?"
Don nods emphatically, eyes on the puzzle.
Donnie looks up as the metal rings fall apart in his hands and nods, smiling, "I have a few ideas..."
....
Tag list
@thelaundrybitch @the-cauldron-witch @fyreball66 @ninnosaurus @tmntngl @thegirlwiththeninjaturtletattoos @zagreustomb @ramielll @silverwatergalaxy @gornackeaterofworlds @daedric-sorceress @sophiacloud28 @iridescentflamingo @milykins
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(this one's shittier than the other one, but here you go)
Like Icarus loved the sun,
I love you.
So truly, utterly entranced,
Unafraid to burn.
Icarus and I share that trait,
We both love the sun.
Both don’t care if we get burned,
Just to feel the sun for a moment.
For you, darling, are the sun,
You light up my cold nights.
But yet, like Icarus,
I was made to fall.
AHHHHHHHH how did you knooooowwww Icarus is my favourite star (this is prime Jegulus oh lord)
If Icarus can love the sun,
Then so can I,
Basking in the light,
We will be together forever,
Yet forever apart.
If Icarus should fall as I have for you,
The sun shall rise higher,
Feeding of my love,
A hungry mass I cannot contain.
But loving you hurts,
Blisters spreading faster than my hope is growing,
So so far away, as Icarus is,
I try to fight,
But the heat pushes me back,
I love you like the sun,
Worship you like a star,
Awe you like a mortal,
Care for you like a lover,
I will fight and burn,
Just like my love for you,
Icarus and the sun.
#holy fucking shit what the hell you are so so so good?!#what oh my god#I love it I’m dying#awesome anon is awesome than me
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You guys like Pokemon XD?
#shitposting#my meme#pokemon#mysillycomics edit#lovrina#orre colosseum#pokemon xd#pokemon xd gale of darkness#the colosseum is so fucking hard oh my GOD#I'm on round 6 right now#Round 1 is such a swift kick to the dick#it's not the hardest round but holy shit does it just chuck you straight into Hell#it's very gimmick heavy#so sometimes you just need good luck#a lot of it is gimmick heavy and rng reliant#and I opted to challenge myself to ONLY using what XD gives me with NO outside items or Pokemon#protip XD does not give you much to work with
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Stoner pred ey?
How about we both get baked and well just have to see later whether or not I'll be included with the pile of food I got for the muchies.
oh i Like you hello...
I think I'd try very hard not to go for you. Though I think. if it didn't cross my mind, you wouldn't be in danger, but knowing the way I get when I'm high... oh the second I catch your scent, I'm drooling, thinking about your accompanying taste, your wriggles, how nicely you'd fit down my throat...
I barely realize how intensely I'm staring at you until you're asking me if I'm good. Of course I tell you I am.
My stomach growls as if it's calling me a liar.
#you are a good anon my favourite even perhaps#g/t vore#soft vore#open ended vore#foodplay#inebriated tag#holy fuck that word is the devil to type rn what the hell i'm SO glad i can touch type#that shit would've been insane if i'd had to think about it for more than like. a second jesus.
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THE BEST OF PRIORITY: TUCHANKA (PART 2)
Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard, Lt. James Vega, EDI, Urdnot Wrex, and Dr. Mordin Solus With: Urdnot Bakara And a Special Guest Appearance by: Kalros, Mother of All Thresher Maws I MADE A MISTAKE! I made a mistake... big picture made of little pictures- too many variables. Can't hide behind statistics... can't ignore new data- my responsibility. Need to go- running out of time. Not your work, not your cure- not your decision. Had to be me- someone else might have gotten it wrong... Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)
#mira makes gifs ✨#sophie shepard#james vega#EDI#urdnot wrex#mordin solus#mass effect#mass effect 3#me3#mass effect legendary edition#dailygaming#i'm gonna continue the rambles in the part 2 gifset but one of the things i adore about tuchanka is the scenic shots#there are literally so many gorgeous ones that about half of part two is scenic shots because holy fuck tuchanka is beautiful#the kalros reaper ones especially? like those are so cool i had to include at LEAST a few of them bc that fight is awesome#and when the cure disperses?? literally the prettiest scene in the game#EDI and james have really cute dialogue together too!! i adored their moments towards the end of the mission#although i did say i was gonna give thoughts on mordin in sur'kesh and i think it boils down to him being an okay?? character in my book#like mordin definitely isn't one of my favorites but i will respect that he's definitely a very complex character and he's interesting imo#especially in terms of how he's written and his motivations/how he sort of grows and evolves over both ME2 and ME3#like the quote i subquoted the post with is the one you get when you try to stall him from going up into the tower#(so it's not from soph's canon- but i love the scene so i used it anyways)#and one of the things i really like is that you can see the switch from mordin in ME2 who argues that what he did was RIGHT#versus mordin in ME3 who is starting to see what was wrong in the context of all the new information he has#and for me- seeing a character who can grow to recognize that they're flawed and made mistakes- i can respect the HELL outta that#even if mordin isn't my favorite character in the trilogy i'm gonna give him massive props for his character growth arc#because it's always interesting to see someone grow and recognize their mistakes and find a way to be a better person#to own their mistakes and fix the shit that they fucked up#i don't think i'd ever choose the option to not cure the genophage but mordin will always get props from me for his character arc tbh#i'll stop rambling now! have a good day wherever you are <3
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The idea that a god-like character with (supposedly) unlimited powers should snap their fingers at the end of a TV series and remove all pain and terrible things in the world so humans no longer had any suffering is the most BAFFLING thing I have ever heard. WHY DID THE SHOW EVER EXIST IF FIXING THINGS WAS THAT EASY??????
#It seems like this 'gotcha' card that overrides any argument someone could have#but it's actually the laziest zero thought behind it belief I have ever seen#And it complete ignores the function and structure of a story#Holy shit#Like... that's literally Adam and Eve before Eve ate the apple#That kind of utopia is literally in the Bible and in general is considered bad#It was certainly painted as bad in the show! Because Eve gave us free will and choice and the opportunity to self-determine who we are#And that's good! That's considered better than the Garden of Eden!#And yes choices have led to the godawful structures in place on Earth today and all the godawful death and suffering that goes with it#BUT THIS STUPID LITTLE TV SHOW ABOUT THE DEVIL WASN'T SPEAKING ABOUT ALL THE EVILS IN THE WORLD!!!#It was talking about how you always have a choice to do better! That everyone can be redeemed!#It's a much MUCH narrower scope because that's what story does! It picks one thing and speaks to it#And sometimes that thing is indeed Wow modern capitalism has completely fucked the world like The Good Place showed#But even The Good Place didn't use the Judge to snap her fingers and change Earth#She could have! She certainly had the power too!#But no instead they argued against wiping out the entire Earth and starting over in favor of revamping the afterlife instead#to allow people a second chance and support to do better#Which is EXACTLY where Lucifer ended up too with the titular character playing therapist in Hell#That is a strong ending! That is a hopeful ending! Because it's speaking to the audience as individuals and saying you have a choice#You always have a choice to do better. No mistake you make is too irredeemable so don't let yourself drown guilt#because guilt fixes nothing. Only your choice to try again can change things#God snapping their fingers and rewriting Earth is not a hopeful; realistic; or satisfying ending to a 6 season show about free will!#It makes no sense!#like jfc I don't want to drag one singular person through the mud but their opinions are just so mind-boggingly to me#It's like beating my head against the wall
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Girl u goin straight to hell 😘 😘 😘 😘 😘 😘
#fuck my geometry teacher i actually hate her so fucking bad holy shit#i think every teacher is pissing me off an eensy bit this term#i hate how there are two history teachers in my class and they grade separately#they ALWAYS leave a fucking 'this is good but you could do this this this this and this as well' I DIDNT FUCKING ASK#IM DOING WHAT THE INSTRUCTIONS SAID LEAVE ME THE FUCKING HELL ALONE DUDE#raine's rambles#vent post#ig#idk#im just really really pissed ive literally been doing everything right and somehow my grades still acting afool so. fuck it i give up lmao
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i don’t think i’ve ever felt this lost in my life. tbh
#feeling sad? sure. hopeless? been there done that. anxious as hell? at least once a week. but lost? no. not really#and that’s really fucking scary because i’m not familiar with it and i just don’t know how to deal with it#i can’t stop thinking that i’m running out of time because i’m 25 and i don’t think i can afford feeling this way#taking a break from uni sounds good in theory but in reality? again. i’m 25. i need to at least achieve one thing in my life holy shit#it’s SO hard to see the good even when it’s right in front of me or someone points it out. like having a job or studying or getting to#travel or even just having friends ARE achievements but i always want More More and More i am addicted to wanting more cause it feels like#nothing i do is ever enough. and now i’m adding feeling lost because i’m finally acknowledging the fact that i don’t know what i want to do#with what i’m studying or how to get a different job in the future when i almost have no experience and everything is just so frustrating#because i simply don’t fucking know. i just don’t. i can’t afford not knowing!! everything is so messy rn you would think i’d be thriving#after seeing louis and meeting aria and traveling to germany and i am genuinely so happy those things happened but fuck man there is always#the Bigger Thing taking over and it makes me feel like an ungrateful brat i just don’t fucking know man. maybe i am an ungrateful brat#but it’s just so hard to be happy when you’re feeling so lost with everything in your life and yourself#anyway i just. needed to let that out#negative#effie talks to the moon
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Socializing with neurotypicals is like trying to cut the right color chord but you’re colorblind. And you’re also a fucking horse. And no matter which wire you cut, the bomb will still explode.
Edit cus I published this post too early: Possibly triggering rant in tags oops lol it’s my personal blog ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#bleats#actually audhd#personal experiences#MGM experiences#not a flex btw#decentering men#centering myself#shouting into the void#‘reward eye contact with a smile!’ no. Absolutely not.#’there’s lots of hidden meaning in your body language AND even in what you say no matter how well articulated!’#HOLY FUCKING SHIT#I don’t have a lot of irl friends and I’m so glad 😭#it’s even worse when you’re a ‘triple threat’ and won’t respond to humbling tactics from jealous dusties 🙄#tfw I wont tolerate anyone projecting their internalized racism onto me#your inferiority complex isn’t my problem man#it’s just rly disheartening especially when u only have good intentions??#male centered women are genuinely fucking terrifying#imagine feeling genuinely threatened by my existence#but also being unhealthily obsessed with me???#I’m not fighting over ANYONE especially not a man. you’re in this competition by yourself.#I literally never chase or pursue nor do I care to do like… you’re in this by yourself lmao#but anyways#side note ->#im reclaiming the word ‘Exotical’ 🙄#‘reclaim’ the N word (🙄) and nobody bats an eye…#but the SECOND a mixed person reclaims the word ‘Exotical’ then all hell breaks loose :3#how tf is that ANY worse than the N word#not to mention fake outrage from white liberals with white savior complexes thinking they have any right to speak for me?????#it’s genuinely fucking annoying how race obsessed most other black ppl are man#like I don’t have to tolerate u projecting your self hate onto me???
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i finally read the lyrics for "honkai world diva" and
#guys what the fuck alsdkfasdlkfahlk#ITS A BANGER SONG BUT THE LYRICS ARE SO SAD IN RESPECT TO MEI'S CHARACTER ARC DURING WHAT THE HELL#'the diva who gave into lament' girl ok what if i just melted and vanished from existence what the hell is this#I CAN HEAR THE VOICES OF THE PEOPLE I MISS IN THIS SONG#(SHAKING MEI) STOP IM GOING TO CRY HARDER#also found the live version of the song from the dream euphonia concert holy shit does the singers voice do it so well in live damn im-#'I WOULD TREMBLE JUST TO HOLD THEM ONCE MORE'#is2g when i go back to play honkai some more and we come back to world serpent mei im just going to start crying and wailing#im actually kinda surprised how mei jumped up to one of my fave as fast as she did#like good on her because her character arc is really good#but also Q _Q everytime i think about it i am filled with a neverending sadness :(#because its half MEI NOOOOOOOO STOP YOUR FRIENDS LOVE YOU#and half mei for the love of fUCK STOP GO BACK TO YOUR LOVED ONES#aggressive care#avil plays hi3#but on top of that#having honkai world diva be the basis of the bgm of kyoden makes me feel even more pain#LIKE i thought it was a cool reference at first#until i realized the lyrics of it and now im like 'oh. acheron alone. :('#rolls around in pain#if youre wondering where i am story wise in hi3 im in ch 20?? starting fu hua arc stuff#hsr.... i have........ put on hold. for reasons. :D
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Miss Ninaa!! When are you free for the summer???
hello, sweetling! and good morning, good afternoon or good night wherever it is that you are. <3 regardless of the time of day, please just know that the world around you is brighter bc you're in it. c':
so i just want to start out by saying that i know i say this a lot...but i cannot tell you what it means to me that you guys care enough about me to be curious about the trajectory of my offline life.
...like, i really just have the sweetest anons in the world, huh? ;-;
i feel unbelievably blessed and count my lucky stars everyday because of each and everyone of you. thank you for being your lovely, lovely selves and caring not only about me as a person but my silly and strange au styles from hell.
speaking of, i am aware that it does not seem like it because of how sporadically i post ncu related content ( if at all ) but i am trying to work on some stuff...as you know well by now, i like to really take my time putting out my work because the quality of the content that you read is paramount to me. you are all far too near and dear to my heart to receive lame, rushed, unclear boof ass content from me.
like...i simply will not do it. thank you for your paitence.
( i will say that i am specifically working on an ask about the greenhouse kiss which AAAAAA giggling, twirling my hair and kicking my feet, like it is SOOOOO satisfying, holy shit! it's also very, very important to the plot which is why i have been taking my time on it. i do hope to put it out today but i am trying not to make promises that i can't keep, get your hopes and dreams up just to dash them and most unfortunately, i do not have a great track record in that regard. i know it's kind of a bummer...but i like to be honest w/ y'all. )
ANYWAYS!
without further ado, here's a little glimpse into my life. xx
again, thank you for asking...that is very cute of you. c': <333
( this is lengthy and lowkey irrelevant. you can absolutely skip this but i think that i am pretty informative in here, so it might be useful? idk. )
so actually, my summer is pretty busy and jam-packed for the most part! or, the first two months are, at least. because i decided to take on summer camp here at the school i work on! camp counsellor nina!
i decided to nab a summer camp supervising position for a couple of reasons. like, obviously, teaching does not pay that much, so really, i need to make all the money i can while i can. don't worry about me tho, guys. bc actually am doing extremely well for myself. <333
( i am a very lucky person, haha -- god nerfed me by being mentally ill, but did make me pretty and personable...which gets me far in life. on the topic of mental illness [ of which i am very ] today i should fare quite well bc other than having a mild headache and being lowkey naseous because my mood stabilizer has that side effect for me...it is worth it when i rem(ember) to take it because it makes me very calm and level, so i am better at responding to my asks/doing my tasks. )
another reason is it keeps me busy...when i am not constantly busy, i get very depressed and fall into gnarly sprials. my job has a lot of downtime and when i am not running around like crazy because a bunch of teachers are out, i'm bored as fuck and i get lazy or restless.
very lame...this summer, i will be looking for a different job ( fml, if you are my boss, don't read this ) and i am a bad procrastinator so i missed the deadline for a fuck ton of teaching positions, but hopefully i can find something in the realm of associate or assistant teaching because....lmao, point and laugh but i am still a little too nervous to teach a whole class by myself. if kids get disadvantaged academically because i am too incompetent at teaching, i will die.
but yeah...if i am still babysitting fourteen year olds after this ( they did grow on me, but it's really not my speed ) please also point and laugh because i would rather go back to retail...yes, i am desperate.
on the subject of teaching kids that are in my wheelhouse and doing stuff my speed, summer camp is actually all k-5 so i will FINALLY being doing a majority of my teaching in the age group that i have my literal credential in. YAY! it's going to be hot as shit where i am over the summer, probably also tiring as shit ( have you seen how little kids act in the summer? ) but i am so fkn exCITED to work with the littles HEEEEELLL YES, BROTHER! uncle nina will be Vibing! <333
so for the first four weeks i am doing general camp stuff, getting a feel for stuff and wokring with all the grade levels...but the LAST two weeks, i get to specifically associate teach in the kindergarten classroom and AAAAAAAA!!!!! I FKN LOVE THE KINDERS!!!!! i visit them every other day because, again, i am bored as shit and they need help over there so i usually hang out with them in PE and play hula hoop tag with them...rn they are learning how to jump rope. soooo stinking cute, oh my god.
-- BUT YES I AM SOOOOO FREAKING STOKED YOU GUYS LIKE I WAS MADE FOR THIS BROTHER. i am gonna wear so many crazy outfits and do such weird makeup pray it doesn't melt off my face.
also, during camp, they go on little field trips and things, hopefully swimming, ( uncle nina is mermaid nina ) and feed you the same stuff as the campers so i get to eat like a nasty frat boy and have pizza and pasta and stuff, which, let me tell you, i am genuinely stoked because they cater a free lunch for the faculty here everyday and it's supposed to be all fancy and shit...but there is a reason it's free because it is SOOOO mid. like it really is kind of ass. i don't know how they do that.
but, sigh, camp is only six weeks so i have to fill my time with other stuff ( also i guess that means in six weeks from when school is done on june...14th, i think? i am free? ) i hope to use that time to structure the fuck out of my life, planf or the future because i am hella bad at it and i hope to do a lot of writing! kind of a pipe dream at this point becaue all my stuff has been *british tolkien vc* actual shite and i can't finish anything...but maybe when i feel better, writing will come easier? when i am less busy and stressed? i hope so. and i hope you guys are still around if i am here but i Completely understand if you are not! it's been a long, bumpy ride. you did your dues and you are free to step off at any time. again, i do not blame you. i am annoying.
BUT YEAH! that's my summer for you! summer camp, hanging out with my cat ( her name is lily, she is very beautiful, very kind, very fluffy and dumb as rocks but she is my babygirl ), getting lots of sushi, going to the thrift store, doing self care stuff, doing less self harm in various odd forms specifically in the form of self sabotage, getting my life together and organized, finding a new job, bettering myself and the world, being kind, entertaining all of you and hopefully writing again! yay! i'll update you as much as i can.
and please, please, pleeeease update me on your lives! i know i don't always respond, but i read everything. my friend who won FIRST PLACE for her raven sculpture, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU BABY. my friends who unfortunately went through breakups, i am so sorry, please know it is their loss, you are stronger for it and i hope you heal, but if ravesey can...you can baby. also proud of my various friends going to college and my friends that are not! my friends toiling through their lame jobs and my friends who are dipping their toes in the world of creativity through writing, drawing expressing yourself! i love, love, LOVE you! thank you for sharing your lives with me.
( speaking of friends, i am specifically hoping to spend my summer bonding with my rant girlies and we made a little group chat and we are being so funny and chaotic and unhinged. i love them all so bad. )
BUT YEAH! thank you for asking my love! look out for some important in character asks, hopefully some finished or more distinguished writing and know that if i am not responding or posting, it is not because i lost interest...as you can see, i am very busy, especially as the school year approaches an end, my summer is a little busy, i fall into ugly manic/depressive cycles and am working on taking care of myself...offline. thank you for understanding.
and thank you for being here! you are troopers, forreal! you are angels and saints for putting up for me and enduring me never posting or posting really chaotic weird stuff. i love you. thanks for caring. <3
i love you and i hope you heal,
uncle nina, future ceo of glamour girl summer camp <3
P.S. i am specifically working on developing and post more about my other aus because i want to give you some variety and challenge myself to do stuff out of my comfort zone! so if you are excited at all about the tsot/tfbw nina stuff, please make some NOOOOISE! lol and if you are not i totally get it, but if you could give me gentility and grace, i would appreciate it because i'm insecure abt it. MWAH!
#hi baby!#thank you SO much for asking you are so stinking cute for this like omg i am blushing thank you so much#i am working on answering some asks but its slow goings but i am emotionally stable nina today so hell yeah brother#i love the greenhouse kiss ask but it requires a lot of context moving parts and me explaining stuff thoroughly#thank you for being paitent i hope its worth it#i also don't know how much people care about my dead ass fanfic or any of my stuff but thanks for fighting the good fight#anyways! camp counsellor nina!#i get to work with the k-5 kids i am so stoked its gonna be loud and very hot outside but fun and enriching#very stoked to do something entertaining#when i tell you i am BORED it fucking sucks like this job is so ass and rn my school is kinda going through messy drama#so it's not pleasant to be here i am not having fun#BUT I WILL! and i have a lot of fun answering my asks hell ya#wokring on getting another job holy shit please pray for me#but yah! trying to be a better me and come back into myself and write more comfortably you guys are helping me#thank you for respecting my time and need for space#i am pretty introverted inspite of my little god complex big scary writer routine and i get overwhelmed by attention#i never quite know what to say but i'm trying#write to me anytime i love you#also i had a friend send me an ask and ask me if their question is odd -- it's not sweetheart i just don't have an answer yet#i haven't shdslkhdld thought about it hard enough but i will get back to you haha y'all are unhinged and kind and so cute#ily ily ILY
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tiktok and tumblr stop stalking the ex victim of a stalker to send him photos of his stalker and re-traumatize him challenge
#also stop saying he's the one in the wrong and stalking his ex-girlfriend to harass her/traumatize her challenge#also also stop glorifying the show challenge#(99.9% of people fail this challenge :00)#bruh it was the most liked comment on a tik tok video saying that he purposely made her uglier than she was (she was an ugly fuck to start)#i don't fat shame normally but i will 100% fat shame that bitch to the point of body dysmorphia and hope she suffers horribly in the future#never the actress tho she was great#if i see ANYONE coming for the actress i'm throwing hands#also darrien i hope he steps on a lego and overdoses on his drugs#actually i wish both experience what it was like for donny all the fear all the pain all the trauma everything i hope they know the sufferi#anyway i just finished baby reindeer and holy SHIT i have never related to a character more since i first saw angel dust#fuck martha and darrien#there's a special place in hell for them#and when i die and go down to hell i'm going to make them wish they were with them six limbed devils#psa; THIS IS ABOUT REAL PEOPLE THEY'RE NOT CHARACTERS#end of my rant now this pissed me off with how people are so hyper focused on martha and everything about her that it makes it seem like sh#+e is the only good person here and the only victim because OF SOME SOPPY FUCKING DUMB STORY AT THE END WHERE HER PARENTS FOUGHT FUCK HER N#+O ONE LOVES YOU AND I HOPE NO ONE EVER LOVES YOU TIK TOK SHE IS NOT THE VICTIM DONNY IS AND YOU ARE ALL TOO DUMB TO REALISE PAST YOUR HYPE#+R FEMENIST ALL MEN ARE EVIL BULLSHIT#*sigh*#i'm fine i swear#i'll delete this later maybe#if i remember it
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it's precious babies!
(shush, of course goban counts; c'mon look at that smile)
#adol's arm around dogi's side hmm yes very good thank you falcom#anyway ys ii pc-88 was pretty great but holy shit the amount of level-gating#ys i was perfectly paced! but ys ii demands some grind before each boss and it really fucked up the whole flow#(even using the eggconsole version's x2/x4 speed modifiers!)#had to grind two fuckin' levels just to melt the ice pillars in noltia also; like what the actual hell#as an aside: i'm glad painstakingly refilling all your mp after darm just to /immediately/ remove magic has always been a thing#it's so unnecessarily and unintentionally funny
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Oh, what happened with Amane pissed me off too… Like from the start, anyone who knows anything about what cults are and how they frame the outside world as cruel and unfair to believers, knew that voting a girl like Amane guilty would only end up reinforcing her belief that the outside world is backwards and cruel. She didn’t need someone to “teach her a lesson”, she needed unconditional kindness.
YOU FUCKING GET IT, ANON.
YOU COMPLETELY FUCKING GET IT.
#People: I'm sure subjecting this traumatized little girl to an as of yet completely unknown punishment will TOTALLY work out#NEVER FUCKING GET NEAR EVEN VIEWING DISTANCE OF ANY TRAUMATIZED KID EVER#HOLY FUCKING SHIT#Magi answers#anonymous#LIKE MILGRAM IS NOT THERAPY#WHAT THE FUCK ABOUT ES AND JACKALOPE MAKE YOU THINK THEY'RE EVEN CAPABLE OF PROVIDING THERAPY#Shouldn't the fact that YUNO is here prove that the standards of entry are fucky and sus?!#Like thank fucking GOD Kotoko's not so far gone that she'd beat up a child but Amane still isn't looking super good rn#Hell and some of these fuckheads are DOUBLING DOWN on their votes#It's disgusting!#And look it's all fiction and I don't take most of it as seriously but holy fucking shit that logic is still#DISGUSTING
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I would have loved Jesus in his enterity if he didn't bring the eternal suffering in Hell stuff into his story. It just feels soooo tyrannical and imposing. If it wasn't for that, unironically, I would have follow him way more easily.
#exvangelical#to christ or not to christ ? 🤨#honestly I don't follow high manipulative mcfuck but most of his reasoning are actually super life advices#I will hand him that#but either way the hell the rapture the apocalypse the unrightful the worldy people#that just super anxiety powder you could have shut up about that part holy man 😭#the number of time where I was a child and that I considered killing myself before entering the earthling exam#and now I am still struggling to determine what is good for me to learn about and what is shit#I am in such a anxious and unstable mental state right now just bc I don't know of I really help people at all by doing wordly things#it's like my life really doesn't matter but the other around me are also contamined by my sinful life#so the more I wait the more unhappy my surrounding get and it's all my fault for not obeying#damn I am so tired I feel fucking drunk#it doesn't help that the world outside the evangilical circles is so fucked up 😓
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