#his therapist is a cat btw

[madowperle]

been playing with the BFF household and it's fun

[berryclan-and-friends]

My handwriting only gets worse and the brush doesn’t help so here’s the writing:

Berrystar

He/Him

One of the founders

He was actually a kit when the clan was founded. They named him after the clan.

Old : )

The side notes (left to right, bottom to top)

He looks like this a lot

Used to have jowls. Went to the twoleg place once. Deflated jowls, bye jowls. : (

His “prime” (he was never doing the best. this is just his physical prime)

He also used to look really judgy

Not on ref but notable:

He grew up in time of struggle with the clan, when it was in a bad spot. Basically the clan was a bit dishonored, spat on in other words

Was the third leader, first was Glowstar and the second was Saltstar

Used to be a spy, did something to a “friend” once though (Gojistar)

Friends + Family:

Father: Tallbeam

Mother: Greenspeckle

(Adopted) kits: Brownbelly and Thrushglare

Friends: Basically everyone. His relations are based around how much he sees them, most the time. He is quite close to Toast and Indigopaw (his apprentice) however.

HATES DROUGHT HE HATES HIM

[allforthegayphase]

What do you think Jeremy’s mysterious background is? I love hearing everyone’s theories and you mentioned Jeremy doing drugs so I’m curious lol

Okay going full tinhat here 🥸 My Jeremy Knox™️ half theory

Recovering drug addict is the only plausible explanation I could come up with as to why Jeremy has to stay at his family home during the school year; keep receipts for every purchase he makes and report back to his mother’s bookkeeper; and go to a therapist his mother personally chose for him. This sounds an awful lot like something a family would do to their addict relative (not letting him out of sight as much as possible, controlling his financial spendings etc).

Then there’s the whole secret second brother who never gets mentioned in Jeremy’s pov but who we know exists (or existed):

My assumption is that Cat was supposed to say ‘had’. Doubled with Jeremy’s strong reaction to Jean making a morbid joke about Grayson killing himself (btw 10/10 material I laughed; also love the foreshadowing), it leads me to believe that his other brother might have committed suicide.

Also I checked and this scene happens right after the news about Zane’s alleged overdose become public:

Maybe his mom saw the news about a Raven overdosing and was concerned about the Raven on her son’s team possibly having access to drugs as well (also we know Jeremy’s family is already aware of Jean’s less than stellar reputation as his sister Annalise mentions it earlier in the book).

How are Jeremy’s drug addiction, his brother’s suicide and the fall banquet “that broke their family in half” (and made his sister hate exy for some reason) all connected? Idk lol 🥸 Maybe the brother overdosed on Jeremy’s stash. I think Jeremy is definitely involved in his brother’s death somehow, and tbh I’d like to see him be genuinely in the wrong there. Imagine like… the opposite of Riko. Someone who had done something terrible but chose not to let it define him and worked on becoming a better person 🫶 #11 >>> #1

[hiimtheproblem87times]

Hi!

Could you please tell us some of your vicagent hc's? The fandom deffo needs more of these two ngl

Ah! Finally!! An ask about my HCs!

Thank you for asking Dear! Asbolutely adore that.

Anyways here you go, its about my human AU Designs :

Vic is 32 years old

Agent is 34 years old

Their Love languange is to braid eachothers hair

Vic adores Agent's training days

Agent likes to be a therapist and comforter to Vic

Black coffee addicts lmfao

they like to stay up at night so they can Hangout (like until 2:00am - 3:30am)

2 of hearts 💗

They are secretly dating, but, ballista found out

"they have autistic rizz, i think" -Flareboi

Oldest in their family (Vic) + Oldest in his family (Agent, if he has one) duo

Oh & they have a Cat Named Ava btw

i'm updating my HCs rn, these type of asks reminded me.

i need more asks of these! Thank you (•◡•)

[kissy-kisses3]

Hello there

Could I please request a gn!reader x iida where it's a class 1A movie night, and the reader chooses one of the most jaw-dropping, panic-inducing, nightmare causing films? I love your writing, btw!!

notes: i haven’t been on here in so long!!! apologies guys. anyways, since i watched the meg yesterday (not that scary but panic inducing nonetheless) i’ll write this as a 120 follower special <3 - the scary movie is smile because i hated it so much

warnings: swearing (reader’s mouth lol), scary movie, gore but only because smile was fucked up, smile movie spoilers

1-a regretted letting you choose, that’s for sure.

they definitely hate american horror films because the lips don’t match up or something

its probably for the better <3

anyways you told them that they should watch it because bakugou was trying to tell everyone that you wouldn’t watch a scary movie because you’re too much of a pussy

you aren’t to say the least

in the first scene, when the lady did the thing, they all looked at you like you were insane

except bakugou, he was a little impressed that you’ve seen it

you and iida were sitting next to each other as usual

he was grabbing your arm so tightly

it almost made you want to smile at him just to freak him out

by the end with the plot twist and the long lady ripping her face off, everyone was screaming and saying that they’d never let you pick a movie again

also moustache :(

they were all really mad at you for making you watch moustache die

also mina was mad that her ship didn’t sail

it was kind of like the ring which you promised to make them watch next

iida would not sleep alone for the next few days

or ever get a cat in the future

or become a therapist at a mental hospital

or go into a cabin in the middle of the words ever again

or ever let his mom take medicine ever again

safe to say you closed a lot of doors for him

[most-datable-datable-bracket]

ROUND 3 MATCH 6

Yoosung propaganda:

"You want a wholesome little disaster man that cleans himself up, gets his life together, graduates ahead of schedule and made marrying you part of his 5 year plan at age 21? Yoosung Kim is that man.

You want a man that clearly communicates and doesn't make you guess about his feelings for you? A man that admits to being vulnerable WITHOUT making you his therapist? A man who is working through his unresolved trauma, but drops everything once your life is in danger and leaps at the chance to ensure your safety at the cost of his own?

Yoosung Kim is that man!

BTW, he does all that before even laying eyes on you. This man deadass falls in love with your personality. Not your face, your ass, tits, whatever--its YOU. All that other stuff is a bonus blessing to him.

And his aspirations? Matching clothes with you, taking baking lessons together, sharing chores. But he wants to become a reliable boyfriend first, so he reignites his study habits from his gifted kid past to graduate early, gets a driver's license and uh. Marries you. Within 5 years.

Did I mention he does this with only one working eye? Yeah, he paid a working eye for your safety and had the audacity to send you a winking selfie to let you know he was ok that night.

The cheeky, beautiful lil bastard.

Also, y'all adopt a cat together."

Qiu propaganda:

"despite him being super popular when you first meet, he still makes time to make sure both of his new neighbours feel welcome and like they can rely on him, his dynamic starts off as doting even when you're literally like 10 this guy just wants to take care of you. in their teens starts questioning their gender (me fr) and then at 18 figures out they are genderfluid and starts using he/they, which they let you know which pronouns their using with painting their nails. literally just wants people to feel welcome and if you're close in your teens ends up still hanging out with you even when they stop wanting to be around a lot of people. also i just love them so much they are so so special to me. also starts a boys only club as a ten year old and by 18 only one member still identifies as a boy, and will get a little bummed if his friends don't want to include tamarack and the mc (if the mc isn't male) and will try and include them in other ways cuz he just wants his friends to like each other"

[thebearme]

got any zoey headcanons?

YES!! imma bout to go off-

Zoey is Korean-Russian. (Dad is Russian and mom is Korean.)

Was a military kid so she hopped to place to place but when her dad was home the arguing would continue. Eventually leading to a divorce.

Her pet hamster and cat kept her company during these times.

Miss Puffy Cheeks (the hamster) is unkillable. Kid Zoey would make up stories of MPC being a tough, resilient military hamster that has a secret life outside of being her pet like Parry the platypus. She finds it silly now but she still can't figure out where MPC goes when she's at school.

Zoey lives with her dad. (she was always a daddy's girl even if she hates to admit.)

Zoey was a quiet but kind girl when she was younger, always a people pleaser and it only got worse in the beginning of high school.

She always got bullied by the jocks of the school for being a push-over, pick-me girl and a quiet kid.

One day they put gum soo far up in her long hair the next day it was ALL cut to her shoulders length.

Later she dyed her brown hair to red. (Cuz red looks cute but also because it gives her SOME control in her situation.)

When I think of Zoey being into indie stuff I think of arty tiktok. (like arthoe, indiekid, vintagecore suff like that)

During All Star Zoey was the girls counselor (by force) and a couple counselors (by force). By the end of it she got sick of being everyone's therapist. She LOVES helping her friends but it gets hard to do so when you have no choice.

Zoey's favorite time period is the 50s, as well is Vito. (the ONLY thing they have in common)

She's also go on dates with Svetlana. (🏳️‍🌈lesbeans)

Zoey also does Svetlana's makeup sometimes.

Zoey likes putting stickers on things and people.

In MZC team (Mike, Zoey and Cam) Zoey thinks she's the mom friend. (everyone is the mom friend.)

In a High school au their friend group is literally JUST Ned's declassified survival guide.

Btw Zoey and Mike are the types of mfs to instead of dancing in the prom they will dance in the rain outside together. (I watched too many 00s 10s Disney shows.)

Cause Zoey was a military kid she had trained with her dad in self-defense. (This is where commando Zoey came to be!) Even though she never uses it, it's still a useful skill.

Zoey is sumwhat able to catch up to Manitoba pace when they hike together.

Jo hangs out with Zoey and Svetlana, they go to the gym together.

Sammy and Zoey are friends and go to the same school (Zoey is two grades ahead.) and they spend lunch together sometimes. (depending if Amy kicks Sammy out from her lunch table.)

Zoey's cat (Fluffy) has beef with Mike because he thinks Mike is taking his mother from him. (Her attention whore cat.)

She does NOT like conflict. Zoey will have a panic attack if people argue in front of her, let alone make her choose sides.

Zoey takes a major in psychology and a minor in fashion.

Zoey and Brick are classmates and great friends.

Brick and her have a lil side project where they make outfits for Dekota size. (she really appreciates it.)

A little silly thing Zoey does when she's bored is that she draws on her or others skin. Mike tends to have the most drawings on him (hands & arms) it grounds him and also because her drawings are cute. She doesn't draw on Cam because he's to afraid of the chemicals in the markers or pen.

Zoey hates the idea of choosing sides so much after she finishes college she moves in with Mike. Not smart financial but at least she won't have to tell one of her mom or dad that she chose to be with the other parent instead of them.

Zoey has a little bit of strained relationship with her parents.

Mal and Zoey would ✨lovingly✨ beat each other up. They're ADHD VS AUTISM incarnate. (Mal hates mfs with red hair and pronouns!! /j)

Zoey is Molly McGee on adderall.

Her and Gwen would get tongue piercings together.

Zoey has a granddaughter relationship with Chaster, a good one but she still try's not to upset him anymore then he already is. (btw no one has told him that Zoey is half-Russian and none of them plan to.)

Zoey take more years in college later and became a teacher; I imagine she's Mille's teacher. After the TDI reboot Mille comes back to class feeling guilty that she couldn't finish her thesis paper about people her generation's psychology but made a backup paper about her own insecurities. And of course Zoey completely understands and tells Mill it's ok to feel insecure but make sure to keep yourself in check so that insecurity doesn't turn into judgement for others problems and trauma. (this one had abit more projection in this. superiority complexes in Gen Z's that "aren't like the others" virus is a real problem man.)

(Because I aint planning to re-re-redesign Zoey.) take a list of songs that give a Zoey vibe.

[pleeborp]

Dndads headcannons in celebration of a new episode (not related)

• Glenn Close HAD nipple piercings. He doesn’t wear them any more, but he will gladly show pictures if asked.

• Daryl Wilson got so fucking confused watching Top Gun the first time. The volleyball scene was his favorite part but if you asked him why he couldn’t explain it to you.

• Ron Stampler eats erasers.

• Henry Oak Garcia paints nude paintings of himself and his beautiful talented wife Mercedes. They’re ranged from abstract to insane realism. None of the realisms are actually fully done yet bc he insists Mercedes deserves perfection.

• Ron Stampler fucking loved Lazy Town the show.

• Paeden went on to be happy and never die. It’s canonical, Anthony Burch told me himself.

• where the fuck is Yeet Biggley

• Henry likes to take photos of random things to “appreciate the Beaty of all my surroundings” and he prints them off and places it on a large mosaic he’s creating.

• Lark and Sparrow call it his “stalker wall” or more affectionately, his “serial k!ller wall”

• Scary Marlowe reads Warrior Cats. I personally haven’t, and don’t plan to but she reads the vibe of my friends that have.

• Normal draws fanart of all his friends and quietly ships them together. He used to be a hardcore gothcleats guy but he’s seen the chemistry between swiftkicks. (Don’t ship real people btw but he’s a hs he don’t know no better) He stoutly refuses to ship KickWorthy.

• Samantha Stampler is still alive and she’s kicking ass as a therapist. She doesn’t know about Terry yet.

• Carol, Mercedes, and Samantha meet up for book club regularly. They don’t actually read books Tho they get together to eat food and talk shit.

• Ron Stampler ate my homework.

[baenyth]

After too much stalling, I finally finished the other half of Miraculous Season 2. Here's my thoughts episode-by-episode:

Zombizou: The episode focused on Ms. Bustier. Honestly I get where she's coming from in that statement to Marinette. This is a world where people can become butt-ugly abominations because they felt upset, although I think Chloe still needs consequences for her actions as well as something like positive reinforcement. She had plenty consequences in season 1. Speaking of Chloe, That Asshole was wrong. There was clear intent for Chloedemption. Also could we at least have seen all that stuff Ms. Bustier does in previous episodes?

Syren: This was an episode the salters talked loads about, and honestly, I get where Adrien's coming from here. On a fundamental level the Ladybug and Black Cat miraculi aren't equals due to the Ladybug's magic reset button, but as one of the first Miraculous users, Adrien should've still been let in on the loop. Kid felt like he was useless, that Ladybug could save the day without his help. At the very least have Master Fu go one-on-one or have both kids show up while transformed or blindfolded. Also the water voices ticked me off, but that's relatively minor.

Frightningale: A fun character-of-the-week episode, especially since I'm fond of Clara Nightingale's constant rhymes and rhythm. She's dedicated to it and I love it. It's also good to see Chloe be an exceptional and talented dancer! It's good to see her having talents and interests that aren't just making people suffer!

Troublemaker: Another episode showing why I think Marinette and Adrien shouldn't date in any of their forms. I don't know enough about stalker shrines but I think Marinette's room is getting close enough to be one for Adrien. Though I'm pretty sure Adrien's seen worse or has been conditioned to not care, based on his reaction at the end. Still a shame that the local TV show had to live-film Marinette's room and beach her privacy in the local city-town of Paris while the real Paris has been converted to an amusement park for tourists. You got any other reasons why the population is so low? One more thing: I'm pretty sure the lack of ladybug-vision was more due to anxiety over losing one of her earrings and the difficulty of the villain more than anything else.

Anansi: I find the new heroes good, personally. They give more screentime to other characters. Also again with Adrien's insecurity about being useful. And I think this episode would've been over sooner if they noticed that Anansi was going to get herself akumatized over the stress and maybe just let her come or something. Or if they got Marinette to arm-wrestle her instead. Marinette has muscles, right?

Sandboy: A lore episode, mostly. The nightmares were funny for a second and I was a bit annoyed by the Akuma's voice, but that's small potatoes. I like how compared to season 1, where we would be given a bunch of development for Sandboy it's just explained to us afterwards while we instead get more time for lore.

Style Queen: Hawkmoth has a contender for the most evil character in the show. Audrey Bourgeois is the kind of person that would be made fun of in those Karen freakout videos. She cheats on her husband, neglects her daughter to the point of not remembering her name, fires people over the most minor inconveniences, and starts G-rated killing people over getting a seat in the second row. She needs to be cancelled, deplatformed, and Chloe needs a therapist and better role models. I really liked the split-second of Adrien looking shocked after Marinette told him he had the catwalk down, btw. Did he think his identity was outed there?

Queen Wasp: This is why teenagers shouldn't get superpowers. I get secondhand embarrassment watching them. Also Marinette What The Fuck why the Hell are you getting Chloe to bond with the Absolute Worst Person For Her

Maledictator: This is what happens when you make Chloe bond with a Chernobyl-level toxic influence, Marinette. In general this episode was funny, both intentionally and unintentionally. Everyone starts celebrating Chloe ditching Paris with her mother except Adrien because Chloe was her only friend even though she was a detriment to everyone else and suddenly Marinette feels bad because she worships Adrien. The first thing the villain of the week does is make Audrey stop being such a horrible person and later he made Chat Noir reach the limit of catboyness. It's like a Smiling Friends episode. Also it was cool to see Chloe's depths and self-loathing. Surely that won't be forgotten and Chloe will be given therapy so she can become a better person, right?

Reverser (Put here so it makes sense timeline-wise): It's Yaoi time. Except that Nathaniel is into Ladybug (who I assume he knows is Marinette) here and Marc is fine with that. Overall a good episode. Some nice humor, and Reverser's probably the best akuma design so far I love the paper stuff. Plus more info on the side characters and a spot of good humor, excellent!

Frozer: Ah, there's the Nathmarc. And explicit Julerose. And Marinette getting some idea that her fantasy of Adrien is unhealthy and shouldn't be followed. And Adrigami, albeit a bit one-sided. Quit pining over someone who doesn't love you and get with someone who does, kid. And a smidgeon of Marigami. And Adrien's bodyguard being his daddy in place of his father. And a pinch of me seeing what the salters were talking about with the girlsquad and them forcing Marinette and Adrien together. Or at least Alya and Mylene. I couldn't hear what Alix, Juleka, and Rose were saying, but they disagreed, right? At least one of them had to disagree, right?

Heroes' Day Two-Parter: Marinette you're being too hotheaded against Lila no you gotta be like Columbo. Also yet another Marinette Costanza moment. Otherwise not much to say here. It's the boss rush episode, it's the series finale, Alya managed to catch onto Nino being Carapace but still can't seem to connect the dots between Ladybug and Marinette, the Peacock Miraculous is introduced, and Natalie is on my suslist.

I might procrastinate again on the first half of season 3. The first episode deserves a post of it's own. It's the salt episode.

[reminiscentreader]

BABES IM GONNA NEED SOME AARON WARNER HC'S!!!!

no pressure btw ily <3

ofc!! Ilym <3 - 𝐚𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐜𝐬

★ he keeps a journal with him at all times, sometimes it has diary entries, sometimes it has fashion designs

★ him and juliette go on morning walks with dog.

★ when him and juliette moved into their new house, he had to throw away most of his clothes, so him and juliette had a huge clear out of clothes (it almost ended in tears)

★ He ends up going to see a therapist, and she encourages him to get some hobbies, so he took up drawing as a hobby

★ literally the most needy and touch deprived person in the whole world

★ loves cologne and perfume, overall just loves to smell good (hes just a girl 😔✊)

★ he loves dog, but he also really wants a cat, so he brings a stray one home to juliette, and she of course keeps it

[bengals-barnesbabe]

Yallllll last night a met my new enemy… ROPE TWISTS

Story time: I love doing my hair, my brother’s hair, just hair for fun. So when I asked this little boy (he’s 18) what style he wanted next, he said Rope Twists. I said no, I didn’t think I had the right tools for it, it looked kinda hard, I just wasn’t sure I could successfully get the style right.

But he really wanted them and he don’t go to no one else to do his hair. So… I went to TikTok University 😂

After debating with myself over it for a week. I agreed to do the style for him during Thanksgiving Break (rn).

THEN when this break had barely begun he was on my ass about getting his hair done, and he hadn’t even washed it yet! (I used to wash it for him, but now he handles it in the shower.)

I told him on Monday I’d do it on Tuesday as long as he comes to me with a washed head.

So yesterday (Tuesday) this little negro walks up to me at 1 PM with head of unwashed hair and says “You’re gonna do my hair, today.”

I asked the obvious question. “Did you wash your hair?”

He looks at me indifferently. “No. I’m gonna go make eggs.”

Ya girl was already stressed about doing the damn twists, now I gotta deal with this sassy boy. Hell no.

10 FUCKING PM comes around and he walks up to me fresh out the shower and says, “So you’re gonna do my hair. Should I get your supplies?”

I look up from the nice juicy story I’m writing, all bundled up on the couch. “You waited all damn day! I could’ve been done by now!”

He shrugs. NEGRO PLEASE!

I told him to get my supplies and put something on the TV.

He proceeded to fight with the TV because his stupid universal remote app wasn’t working and he didn’t bring me everything I asked for.

I was not getting up, so I told him to just sit his ass down.

Fast And Furious:

Best damn parting job I’ve ever done, clipped each section to perfection, hair moisturized and detangled.

Then I picked up my comb and proceeded to cuss out his goddamn hair. I WAS STRESSED! It was not looking good AT ALL. I was trying to get a good angle, thinking back to those videos, absolutely hating my life.

It took me half that goddamn move to get 4 done. I wanted OUTTTTT. I was giving him warnings, mentally preparing to just start braiding it. But I kept going. And a bitch found her rhythm.

I was finally doing good, but then I had to work with this tired ass 18 year old who would not move his head/ KEPT moving his head. Yall if that movie wasn’t keeping me sane, I would’ve turned it off.

2 Fast 2 Furious:

Finally half way thru and I’m just moving this boy’s head and making him turn his whole damn body.

(Break time.)

I start back up and my thumb is burning and it’s stinging real bad. I check my finger and bitch that dumb ass comb I got had cut me. I almost broke that shit in half. I switched to a rat tail comb and prayed for it to work. I was pissed off when it did a better job that that other one😒

Then I sat on one of my metal clips and didn’t notice because apparently I’m just used to being in pain.

By the end of that movie (which is phenomenal btw), I only had 5 left. Two rows in the from and one on the other side (redoing the first one lol).

My back was aching, I was tired, I just wanted to write and relax, this shit needed to be over soon.

My Wife And Kids:

A bitch powered through it and got them done before the first episode was over. 👏🏾🙌🏾👏🏾🙌🏾👏🏾🙌🏾👏🏾🙌🏾

In Conclusion, I AINT GOING THROUGH THAT AGAIN. (by then end, it really wasn’t that bad lol) But he better not ask me for that style and stress me out like he did!

Fuck that damn “twisting comb”, fuck rope twists and fuck that couples therapist on My Wife and Kids.

A/N: My cats spoiled as fuck, like bitch let me use my phone I’ll give you all the attention you want. Also someone tell me this girl to stop standing on my chest!🥲

[dino--draws]

HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE NEARLY TWO HOUR ADMONITION + EXTRAS POWER POINT

I recorded it and me and my friends do wanna edit it and be silly w/ it so you may actually get to hear the presentation [and if you want the presentation itself just shoot me a dm on discord or smth] at some point but!

"Enter this freak! [image of McDoctorate]" "he looks like weird al.............."

"whats this guys name?" "FUNNY YOU ASK THAT [goes to slide that says 'whats this guys name?']"

"Damn! Sucks for Abbie, man I was invested." "I KNOW I WAS SO SAD SHE DIED." "This is a loss for women." "This was NOT a win for feminism."

"This is the REISNO Cannon!" "...thats a guy." "IGNORE THE GUY IGNORE THE GUY!"

"Failing to fulfil the causal loop causes a paradox. So let's cause a paradox! This is Dougall Deering, a bitchass motherfucker that nobody likes!"

"This is the significance of September 8th!" "...the queen......" "Queen Elizabeth died!! This isn't relevant!"

[Someone I do not know came in and sat down to listen for a bit]

"So you guys know Weirdmaggedon right?"

"And then the therapist dies and it all gets worse."

"So it'll come back, right? Right??? [long pause] There is no cannon." "Ha."

"So you may be wondering 'where the fuck did he go?' and now we finally get into Admonition."

"Because we can't use Narrative travel to jump genres we're writing the Fix-it Fic in the Hurt No Comfort AU. I don't know why I worded it like that in the slide." "That's my fault." "Nonono you're right there."

"They use it to terminate anomalies!!" "Not the ANTIKILL facility.........."

"It was all going dandy and functional until they did something stupid and hubris."

[Me calling the PH-GOS "the silly device"]

"Oh no! Who could've seen this coming!" cries the dumb fucks who should've realized this was an exercise in facility forty years ago."

[A second, new person appears to listen in]

"Say it with me now: YOU CAN'T KILL A LIZARD [several people do say it with me now]"

"Anti-idea???" "Yes, anti-idea."

"We're gonna PEMDAS the starfish!"

"Nice try guys, it didn't work but it wrote them a poem." "Awhhh,,"

"AND THEN THE UNIVERSE FUCKING ENDED!" "Oh it's over already?" "WOAAHHH"

"You may be wondering how the FUCK this is the first article in this series. Well you haven't seen NOTHIN' yet."

"I understand why this is making you insane." "Yeah no I get it."

"Is he [PHMD] a creative

"Director Johnathan King is fucking dead!" "Who??" "Don't worry about it he's not important." "He sounds like he is!" "The only thing you need to know is that he's dead."

"IS THAT JERMA?" "where?" "WHY IS JERMA THERE!" "THATS JERMA???" [me having to explain Jerma]

"Our budget took a hit! So we're gonna devote all resources to build this thing! For the budget!"

"Why are we doing this?" "Because we need to make a man un-die but no other necromancy is working."

"

"WHY IS HE A CAT??" "Don't worry about it." "These two don't have faceclaims to my knowledge so have Dir. Vehmoff looking at manga and catboy Dir. Asheworth (catboyism not relevant here, 120 directorism relevant here)." "He seems sad." "He is sad."

"SO ASHEWORTH ✨ EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATES ✨ HIM INTO VOTING IN X/MACHINA’S FAVOR USING HIS DEAD FRIEND AS LEVERAGE!" "whys theres a 50% opacity dog...." "don't worry about it!"

"If this man says it's safe, I don't know what else to tell you. DRAMATIC IRONY IS A LITERARY DEVICE IN WHICH--"

[Me going off script to briefly and VERY excitedly ramble about pataphysics]

[My one friend comparing generic vs protagonist vs archetypical to a/b/o and me threatening to end her life several times before moving on in the excited ramble and we all think its cool as fuck btw]

"I'm gonna read this [the 6747 imagion particles stuff] because I think it's cool and its my presentation."

"So? When's the other shoe gonna drop?" "Probably right now." "Yes!"

"So sometimes we taze it! Personnel are to be reminded that its totally dead and we totally aren’t lying to your face. The therapist we hired to taze the brain wants to be amnestizied of tazing the brain. We told her no. sorry Ngo." "Hah." "Ngo,,,,,,,,,"

"also his name is sparky...." "well thank god for that."

"It's becoming bad fanfiction." "They're all having sex." "No they're not, there's no sex in this." "We are reading very different bad fanfiction." "Yes we are!"

[My roommate googling 2747 bazongas]

"I wanna punt him [PHMD] like a football." "Good he deserves it."

"GET IN LOSER! We're killing gods!"

"What Dr. Blake is about to do has not been approved by the Vatican." [My friends loose their shit]

"That's right babey! It's the motherfucking starfish again!" "WHAT??" "Oh shit!!"

"PHMD’s plan is to create an Unbound Prometheus to help them find the God within the human mind. And not in the Frankenstein sense i mean he wants to unbind Prometheus and promote him as the God of Humanity. And everyone is just ok with this!?!?!?! [I am gesturing frantically and my voice is cracking like hell] Like they restructure the education system and everything to incorporate this and the Foundation starts to pray to Prometheus and all that???? its wild and so casually mentioned too, but here we go we’re doin this!!"

"oh my god he's the modern Prometheus." "HE'S THE MODERN PROMETHEUS!!!!"

"ignore the fact they've given people early onset dementia."

"the exhilaration of severing a finger from a squirming human hand (ie. transcendence). [Pause] WELL AIN'T THAT JUST PEACHY :D"

''that was the SHORT ONE?" "Short and sweet! Not simple and short." "Heeheheh, yeah."

"It's killing all AI!" "yaaaaaaaaaaaaayy!"

"SO NOW DISREGARD THAT LAST SLIDE! BECAUSE I LIED TO YOU!!" "why would you do that,,,?" "what????" "THERE'S NO VIRUS. IT'S ANOTHER GOD DAMN FOUNDATION MADE EIGENMACHINE. THE VIRUS IS A COVER UP." "why are you talking like a republican conspiracy theorist."

"That's really fucked up, thank you!" "ISN'T IT???"

"Please take note to behold the comedic amount of power that LOTUS needs."

"I love 28 nuclear reactors."

"So things go to shit pretty fast! Cause guess what? PHMD touched the damn machine."

"So yeah these guys have no right to be surprised when it starts interring all AI, even the most simplest of spellcheckers." "Not Grammarly!!!" "yup, LOTUS got it."

"isn't LOTUS itself an AI..?" [I turn my head slowly and grin at them in dead silence] "oh great thanks." "we'll get to that :) we'll get to that :)))"

"Have you tried turning it on and off again?"

"Problem solved, right? [next slide] SO EVERYTHING GETS IMMEDIATELY WORSE!!!!"

"Lunar Area-23 is gone." "THEY TOOK THE MOON??" "you know who else takes the moon? Gru." "GOD FUCKING DAMMIT."

[my friends horrified look as I describe Hishakaku's hostile takeover]

"He demoted him and erased his mind, because the Foundation can just do that, by the way." "Oh! :D Ok! :D"

"WOULD YOU BELIEVE ME IF I SAID IT GETS EVEN WORSE? Because I lied to you again!!! OCI does not stand for Obtuse Computation Interface. It stands for Organic Consciousness Interface. THAT'S RIGHT! HISHKAKAU WAS PUTTING BRAINS IN JARS!"

"Not Head of Disinformation that's craaazy," "Yeah they just have that." "I wanna be CEO of lying."

"Wow fuck this guy."

[My one friend making a rainbow dash jar joke like right before the slide that has the rainbow dash jar joke]

"LOTUS is flipping its shit."

"THINGS ARE FINALLY DONE GETTING WORSE! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!" "Woah!" "No :D!"

[group cackling at Hishakaku's takedown]

"Why'd they do that???" "because they're fucking fascists!!"

"Oh and by the way the remains of LOTUS have been salvaged for Project ADMONITION." "Ggrrrreeat!!"

"Admonition Episode 5, SCP-7243, Existential Abatement." "I like that its gay :}" "It IS gay!"

"What if the timeloop happened in June."

"He also shows Ngo -- the therapist who was tazing the brain earlier you remember her? -- the item he wanted to give Phillip. A magic box, that makes it seem like the object you’ve put in it vanishes. But there’s no magic at all, just a drawer, just a trick." "Oh boy" "Nnnnnno way." "Wow isn’t that a specific detail I sure hope that isn’t a framing device."

"Dougall asks Amelia what the hell he should do. She tells him three words--" "kill yourself." "No more wast-- no."

"Esoteric waste???" "sent it into space." "we can't do that :("

"You killed my husband." "Yeah that's an actual line in the article." "SDKFJSHDKHFD"

"Oh right yeah there's an SCP object in this article."

[my friends thinking DePLExA is really cool]

[Me pausing for two seconds each time 'waste' pops up]

"They are dumping empty containers into an empty pit. Because if they don’t it’ll cause a paradox. [Pause] You ready to cause another parado-- hold your conceptual horses actually because there's more to explain."

"Esoteric gift horses and their non-existent mouths."

"AND THEN IT ALL GOES TO SHIT! [to the tune of 'and then along came zeus']

"Wait September 8th again??" "It's fucking happening again."

"A magnitude 8.5 earthquake hits." "Ttttttthats not good."

[My friends mounting horror as I just read through the EE-7243 event entirely]

"So it was like putting a lid on a burning pan. But the burning pan is an acromatic abatement facility about to esoterically explode and the lid is a bomb that creates a forcefield"

"Oh hey! We found Amelia!" "Oh!!!" "She's not ok, but she's alive!" "That's a lot!!!" "yeah!!!"

[periodic sounds of me excitedly stimming while talking]

"We're living out of spite!" "that's soooooooooo real," "she's so me!" "I love how she hates her brother-in-law more than she loves her husband." "YEAH KDFJGHDFJKG"

"But they don't have one [O5-9]..." "oops." "Whoops!!"

"GUESS WHAT DOUGALL TURNS AROUND AND DOES? AFTER BEING TOLD NOT TO TAKE SHORTCUTS NOR MIRACLE CURES??? GUESS WHAT HE DOES?" "takes a shortcu--" "HE TAKES A MOTHERFUCKING SHORTCUT!"

[group confusion over Amelia and Dougall marrying eachother]

[Group freakout over Dougall being the entity that killed Phillip]

"What is waste? I guess you finally figured it out, Dougall." "OH MY GOD KDJFGHDKFJGD" "THAT'S HILARIOUS." "THIS IS AN ACTUAL LINE IN THE ARTICLE."

"wwwwait a second, a timeline being cut off from the coalition and the RCT? This is familiar..." "that fucking rubik's cube." "the cube!!"

"He fucked around just to get this timeline kicked out?" "He's throwing for content!!" "He should get twitter cancelled."

"Operation LAST STRAW success--" "Hehehehe"

"Because one of the people who writes this taunts me on tumblr and I go insane on the regular."

"She's from the paradox timeline as well," "how'd she get outtie :(((" "We don't know yet!"

this was 101 slides

"why did y'all let this guy cook??" "this freak cannot handle his trauma in a healthy way."

"He might be trying to become the LOGICIAN and kill his author. But also the LOGICIAN is the author so he may be trying to kill the LOGICIAN." "This is just like Betty from adventure time."

"This powerpoint has DLC content!"

and now my friends wanna read the actual Admo articles I am kicking my feet and giggling fr fr fr fr fr fr fr ehehehehehehehe. my brainworms.................... god im so happy rn you have no idea this is all so cool to me and im so happy my friends thought it was neat,,,,,

[eeclare]

Now that i have seen the official confirmation that the Pestos do NOT in fact, live above their restaurant, i had to recreate a more accurate rendition of what the Pesto kids' rooms would look like at each parent's house

Starting off strong with Jimmy Sr's bachelor pad:

I used to hc that as a full family unit the pestos lived above the restaurant, and that jimmy sr kept living there after the divorce (yes i have seen the episode where they actually show where he lives), and bc of that in the past I liked the idea that the boys still got to keep their old rooms

obviously not lmfao and because Jimmy is Jimmy, his bachelor pad only has two rooms

so the boys share!

but y'know it's not that big of a deal since the boys are only over every other weekend anyway

the condo came with the bunk bed

YES he washed the sheets before the twins started sleeping there

Jimmy sr is obsessed with J-ju's height and desperately wants him to go into basketball

obviously he doesn't want to but that doesn't discourage J-Sr from decking out the whole room with basketball paraphernalia

hence the basketball themed clock, carpet, and actual basketball sitting there

The boys still got some autonomy tho dw

The twins wanted the glow-in-the-dark stars and they LOVE them

Andy sleeps on the top bunk btw

Ollie is afraid of heights

Jimmy jr has a poster of his choice above his bed. He didn't have a ton of space but he made it work

Jimmy sr didn't end up keeping many of the boys' toys and things etc

so like,

the baby toys remain on the shelf

That shitty little orange toy car gets to keeps its spot

(even though J-ju and the twins haven't used it since before the divorce)

The foam finger is from a b-ball game they all went to see together

Now it's honestly just collecting dust, but Jimmy sr sometimes likes to go into the room and look at it

remembering the good times, y'know

Andy and Ollie like cats and dogs

so for christmas they got a puppy lamp (andy) and a cat air diffuser (ollie)

Jimmy jr got a nerf water gun that he doesn't always use

but like, it was fun for the first few weeks of summer

Laundry doesn't always get done

that pile of clothes has been there for two weeks

but the room doesn't smell so jimmy sr counts that as a win

No books on the bookshelf, jimmy doesn’t even have books in the rest of his condo

Okay so the Twins and Jimmy jr have their own rooms in their mom's quaint little house

and she's a little bit of a beige mom so everything's a little dull

but it's nicer than the alternative and tbh the boys don't really notice

For the walls she likes to go with variations of beige/pink

She bought the bunk bed and the sheets ofc

Andy is still sleeping on top and Ollie will forever remain that the bottom of the bed

Most of their toys are kept in a wicker basket in the "family room"

Because they honestly don't spend a lot of time in their room when they're home

They like to all hang out together with J-ju and mom

Jimmy jr doesn't always reciprocate

but when they are in their room they just love to draw

And mom was worried about them hurting their backs whenever they would draw on the floor

So she got them the craft table

and their own boxes of crayons

She's trying to encourage independence

(not that it's working though, one of those boxes us almost entirely unused and every picture the boys draw they draw together as a unit)

Bc of the divorce mama pesto just lets them get away with it

she’s worried they’re traumatized

the puppy and kitty string lights are also a christmas gift from mom

She really likes to keep things clean and neat and tidy so there’s lots of storage and lots of their stuff is stored in the storage

it all works out

lastly Jimmy-J won the boys those crappy fruit carnival toys and the twins really hold on to them

Mama pesto gave j-ju the biggest room

She feels really bad for him

He doesn’t have a twin (and she knows it bothers him)

(she does talk to his therapist yk)

He has the same carpet as the twins do in their room so that he doesn’t feel left out

his bed is green (it’s his fav colour)

and again, same lamp that the twins have

She also secretly likes how cohesive them having the same decor items makes the rooms look

he wanted a switch SO BAD for Christmas or his bday or ANYTHING

it took a lot of convincing but she got it for him

She’s really not too sold on video games but now he can play the same games as the kids at school and he won’t feel like such an outcast

(again, she really does talk to his therapist)

Jimmy also desperately wanted those shitty LED lights

but they do NOT match the aesthetic and she really did read up on them and they attract bugs and she just doesn’t think it such a good idea

but even ZEKE has them and oh my god she’s giving in

BUT she is able to make a compromise

Colourful LED string lights are almost exactly what he wanted

she likes to encourage reading

The twins just can’t get into it unless it has pictures and she’s the one reading it to them

But Jimmy jr can really get lost in a book when he wants to

so she’s really been pushing the classics like jane austin and Brönte

(he’s read the pride and prejudice twice don’t tell tina)

the toca world has this fake franchise of these little characters and i just use those as comic book/movie characters etc

so jimmy has posters of and collects these little dudes

sloth snake would be some band or something that zeke got him into lmfao

his mom is not a fan it freaks her out a little

no matter what i believe Jimmy Junior sleeps with his childhood stuffed animal(s)

again, DONT tell tina

zeke knows tho ofc

she likes that he’s passionate about dancing but deep down she still wants him to play basketball

to get him involved in group activities

but also because it’s always secretly been her dream for him lmao but she won’t say that

She won the signed basketball in the divorce

jimmy sr considers it his biggest loss

especially considering, you know, the fact that she doesn’t care about the thing

and neither does jimmy-j

so it just collects dust on the shelf instead of being shown off like god intended

lastly the plant

not something Jimmy jr chose for himself

lord knows he doesn’t take care of it

but his mom wanted to bring some life into the room

she always jokes it “gets rid of his funk”

which he hates LOL

(i was gonna add a cologne bottle but then i thought to myself, that mama pesto wouldn’t let jimmy jr use it either lmaoo)

I’m doing a bonus Jimmy Pesto Sr bedroom

because i can

he’s only renting the condo lol

but he needs his room to have a certain ambiance

Now that he’s single again he needs to impress the ladies 👀

and ykw i bet u he’s a big fan of purple

so he bought a giant purple rug basically the entire size of the room

he thinks it looks fantastic!

Got a matching curtain to match

I just know Jimmy thought having a glass bedside table would be AWESOME

it’s actually awful but he won’t admit that

it was expensive and trev told him not to and now he’s embarrassed

He has candles to set the mood whenever he needs

yeah he just kept them while moving out during the divorce

but they’re kinda manly looking, right?

and the stereo, again, to set the mood

when he moved out, he only bought a set of six martini glasses to drink out of

eventually realized he would need at least one coffee mug

and then the boys moved in and he was like fuck

but HE uses the martini glasses even if he’s just drinking water

because they’re all he really needs at the end of the day

he def eats dinner and watches tv in his bed

Jimmy sr for sure has two tvs

one for bed one for the living room

both flat screens

paintings of boats are cool, right?

and maybe he’s just a little bit manifesting that he’ll get into the yacht club

the box is there because i think that jimmy sr never really finishes unpacking

just gets lazy, yk

hand mirror because he can’t hang up a proper one

and cologne obvi

imagine it like the strongest most obnoxious cologne you’ve ever smelled

And he’s gotta keep that tan up ofc

hence self tanner or whatever

His ex wife got the dog

and he misses him more than anything

(especially since he’s passed and he didn’t really get to say goodbye)

he doesn’t keep pictures of the boys in his bedroom

cuz yk… that’d be weird

(they’re in the living room, one pic each)

but he keeps a drawing made by the twins because they made is special for his room and every time they come over they check

so yeah

trophy was given to him by Trev

“World’s Best Boss” and such

[liffy-feelin-jiffy]

S5 Headcanons Part 2!

Also SkullAmiGorai mention hehehoohoo

Mask

Real name is Jacklyn, but they typically go by Jack

Got the ‘tism? Probably, but most definitely has ADHD

Half sharkling. Bro doesn’t have a tail, but he’s got some fins peaking out behind his back and some razor sharp teeth. Munch munch munch. Their eyes are also a little weird looking too

Shady is his cousin btw. They keep in touch sometimes but they’re not that close

Omnigender, uses he/they/bro pronouns. They started using “bro” as a neopronoun for shits and giggles at one point until it kinda just became an actual neopronoun for him because they like it

Also Omnisexual and panromantic. Why is everyone so attractive???

Tall. Scrawny as hell. Eat a sandwich, bloke

Makes the most lewd jokes out of the group. Bro even grosses Aloha out sometimes-

Mask: “I need her to bend me over the stove and spank me with a spatula-“

Aloha: “WHAT HAPPENED TO HELLO????”

Very congested voice. That’s hay fever. He gets it from his father, who got it from his father, and so on

“Nice argument, unfortunately I am at your front door with a blunt object” — debating online about which character should be invited into smash bros

I know his bitch ass kins that motherfucker Sal from Sally Face

Favorite video game would have to be portal 2. He’d like the plot, the story, and bro would love Glad0s to pieces 10/10 villain, she’s a mood. They also like RPGs, plenty of which he’s download off of an itch.io knockoff

This fool STANKS. Like, bro smells like cheap cologne and 50 day old stale pizza. Take a bath

The rest of the S5 and Mask’s family have definitely tried to give him a bath before. They failed 😞 /j

Just kidding, Mask showers once for two whole days. Sometimes they’ll go for three days

Has multiple socials. Bro doesn’t post much other than some random funny videos they catch of the boys doing stupid shit and cackling at them when they get hurt in the most ridiculous ways

Is actually depressed. Bro was acting like an edgy teen back when they were 14, but as they got older they did actually start developing depression. Bro isn’t suicidal or anything, or at least they don’t actively seek to harm themselves, but bro has this kind of… Depressive symptom where they would just have a lack of care for if they like got killed all of a sudden, even almost hoping it would happen. Instead of being all mopey and sad and crying themselves to sleep at night, Mask is really just in a numb state. They just don’t care about anything. They still pull through because of all their family and friends, and bro knows that leaving those people in his life wouldn’t do any good.

Bro gained his depression from his mom suddenly passing away when he was 18. She died in a horrible car crash. They were even the first to find out because he accidentally stumbled across the scene. It wasn’t too far from where they lived. Thankfully, Mask is seeing a therapist, but he’s having trouble opening up still.

Acts like a cat. Loves to cuddle, really lazy with their movements and mannerisms, and love bites. Nibbles on your hand like a creature

Plays the chello. At first he started playing because he thought that the low pitch of the chords were edgy, lmao, but then the sound of it felt soothing and it ended up growing on him. Bro plays it whenever he’s stressed out over something or if he just needs a moment to clear his mind. It helps them think better, too. He’ll play for you if he feels like it or if you ask nicely, but he’s usually shy about it.

Crusty gamer, but they have a beautiful face. Aloha dramatically passed out when he saw Mask’s true face

Mask doesn’t really like to take his mask off in general. At first it was so bro could look scary and intimidating when bro was younger, but now it’s because they value their privacy. Plus, they find comfort in their anonymity. They typically keep it off when they’re at home or at a trusted friends house

Aloha’s octoling roommate, Lilith, creeped the shit of him when they first met, even though they were kinda similar in how they acted. Bro was just really off put by her gigantic size and build, and the fact that she was missing an eye and had previously been part of the Octarian army—as an army captain no less—oooh bro had the heebie jeebies! They actually ended up becoming friends after they just trauma dumped to each other one night during one of Aloha’s parties. There were tears and ugly sobs involved. Now? Don’t tell anyone, but Mask thinks she’s fine as hell (they like their women buff).

Seriously though, now Mask is practically head over heels for that woman. It’s odd because he was never the romantic type despite having some sort of interest in a lot of people, yet never really having an interest to chase for a relationship until she came along and they got used to each other. It’s why he never wants to admit it, because not only does he get all defensive when people bring it up due to being afraid of her finding out and potentially beating his ass over it, or just having to face the reality that she simply may not be interested in them, but bro also half believes that what he’s feeling is just a simple little crush. Besides, that “hochi mama” is a little too out of his league… or so he thinks.

Hangs out with Bobble, even though her smile used to erk him to the end of the world. He also likes hanging out with Goggles, too. The both of them treat Mask nicely and bought him a game that he really wanted for their birthday, so now Mask feels like he’s indebted to them (that’s what he says, but bro just likes hanging out with them)

They were real chill when Army came out as an inktoling—bro also came out as a sharkling at the time, too, kinda to ease the tension and be like “ain’t nothing special bro look at me.” He was also the first to find out about Army having a crush on Goggles and he tried to hook ‘em up on a few dates just for shits and giggles, and sort of to see what would happen. Bro did feel happy when they got together, feeling proud of themselves, but then they got flabbergasted when the two of them also got with Rider and Skull— “Wait, did I miss a few chapters? What the hell”

Skull

His real name is Sloan

Autism hiding up in here somewhere. Adhd, too

Also gay. Unlike Rider, he’s more open about it—or chill at least

He’s a kraken squid, one of the strongest creatures in the inkling and octoling genuses. Being a kraken squid not only gives him more animalistic traits in the way he acts, like being territorial and prone to snapping his teeth and growling, but he also has bones. Krakens are one of the only ones, besides leviathans and some sharklings, to have bones in the cephalopod class

That being said, he’s broken an arm at one point. He mentions it every so often like it was a fever dream and people look at him alarmingly because the way he broke his arm sounds absolutely agonizing

Besides the E-liter, he also likes using the krak on splat roller

Likes to wear goth punk style, either that or punk rock

Gives the most bombastic side eye

He says he tone deaf when he sings, but he can actually sing pretty good. It’s really soothing. He’s just really shy about his singing and uses it as an excuse not to sing. You gotta bully him into doing it (don’t do that tho, not nice) He can also rap pretty good, too. And he’s really good with the bass guitar and regular guitar

Has really beautiful tanned skin, because he stands out in the sun all day holding his e-liter in matches and he’s Scalican and knows Coralish (Splatoon pun of Mexican and Spanish) he’s got a bunch of tan lines, too

But what if he had a southern accent? 👀 (I WANNA BE A COWBOY BABYYYY)

He’s been wearing his skull bandana for the longest to hide his sharp ass teeth to try to avoid people from getting spooked of him. Well, the skull on his bandana didn’t really help all that much, but he actually kinda liked the style because he felt intimidating for another reason other his real teeth.

He’s naturally strong as hell and tall as a skyscraper because he’s a kraken squid, and he’s been like that since he turned 14. It’s because of that lots of people are always intimidated by him, even when he tries to prove he’s docile (Kind of a discrimination thing he’s gotta deal with everyday 😞). But deep down he’s a gentle giant. Really trustworthy man, too. He also has sharp claws; they’re very pretty

Got into a few fist fights, some double sided and… one sided, between him and some drink tampering shmucks Aloha would catch at his parties or at his parents’ bar. He’s never started a fight, but he has sure as hell finished them all

He’s kinda insecure about handling kids and hatchlings. He loves them to death, but because of his giant, intimidating feature, he knows he’d be prone to accidentally freaking younglings out. It also has to do with the fact that his hatchling cousin started crying really hard the millisecond Skull tried to hold them in his arms one time back when he was like 12; He still hasn’t gotten over it. It’s kinda ironic though, because despite his intimidating form, lots of younglings and hatchlings actually really like him right off the bat. It’s probably because he’s actually really good with kids in general. He’d play with them, keep them out of trouble, and just knows what they’d need on a whim. He’s your go-to babysitter kind of guy

His favorite pastries are cannolis, his favorite cakes are cheesecakes, and his favorite candy would be all three flavors of chocolate. He had a crisis when he had to choose one team during the chocolate splatfest

Really territorial about his food. He growls if you get near him while he’s eating food, especially sweets. Not only that, but he’s even worse when he’s with a significant other. He’ll straight up snarl at you if he feels like you’re bothering them. He’d even snap his teeth like a dog at you. Leave him alone to cuddle with his boyfriens >:(

He does also growl and snarl when he senses danger, if he’s pissed off, or if he just wants to be left alone in general. He’s got a low, deep growl that can pierce your soul. It’s some freaky shit. It makes for a good warning to not cross him, cuz he will fuck you up bad.

He also purrs a lot, and LOUDLY. He loves to purr, it’s his own way of showing affection. He also likes to nibble, whether it be on your hands, neck, ear, anywhere. He’ll also play bite and it‘s so ticklish. He’s like a doggy 💜💜💜

He had a crush on Mask once, back when they played in Inkopolis Plaza, but it was mostly because bro was so affectionate with him. Mask was actually his gay awakening before he decided that he liked imagining Mask as more of a friend. Mask also made for a great wingman, anyways.

Skull fell for Goggles the same reason he fell for Mask, because he was so nice and affectionate with him—even though he flashed him to the public in the square (you had to be there). He was also intrigued by him because he admired how Goggles faced him so determinedly, even after Goggles lost against him. He was the first person who wasn’t afraid of Skull, and that really did confuse him for an extended amount of time

There’s also Rider; He got the feels for Rider after he faced up against Emperor. He too admired Rider for his determination, and that was when he began to realize he had a type—and that he was poly. You could also say their pep talk they had before Rider faced Emperor’s team had played a part in it. They also got closer during the ranked battle championship arc.

As for Army, well, he and Army bonded when he found out Army was an octoling. Skull kinda related to him, as he was also seen as different from other inklings in society because of his large and intimidating structure—though Army didn’t really have to face that, but he was shamed for who he was by his grandad so that was something he and Skull had somewhat in common. He was also there to comfort Army when he was going through it with his grandad getting arrested and everything. He even offered him a place to stay if he needed, even when Army assured that Goggles’ parents were happy to have him around. He’s also really grateful for the fact that Army always makes sure to be his reminder for a bunch of things and also keeps him from getting lost, and his curry is YUM YUM YUM (proof that good food makes a even the bad bitches fold)

He and Aloha’s friend, Lilith started out a bit rocky, but then they grew to have a mutual trust in each other. They also ended up becoming friends after Lilith heard him singing and started singing along (they’re both shy about singing)

Weekly ink rifle meet up with Headphones and Half Rim. Eventually they started inviting N-Pacer! It’s just when they spend the day doing friend stuff, cuz theyre friends now :)

Rider

Real name is Roe

Is BRI’ISH. Heavy British accent boi; “oi my names Rida’ ”

Dude is so tone deaf. But he can keep a beat pretty well. He’s tried to play the drums at one point, but he hasn’t played in a while. He has to have his drum set hiding in his house somewhere

Socially detached. He was taken advantage by other kids a lot when he was younger, and those memories never left him. He’s also had a few issues growing up, too, especially without his dad.

His father left him and his mom before he and his sister were even born. He doesn’t even have a good idea as to what he looks like since his mom took down every photo in the house that he was in since he left them. His mom refuses to ever mention him, and if Rider ever does she’s quick to change the subject. All he knows is that he inherited his father’s voice, and both he and Platinum inherited his nose and lips. Rider never knew why he left. But truth be told, he doesn’t care no more, he’s got so many more people to worry about nowadays

Coming back to edit this part: He has a twin sister and a twin brother btw. He’s one of three triplets. His sister’s real name’s Rinet (it’s Renet but it’s just spelled differently) and his twin brother’s name is Ryan. Rinet’s nickname is Platinum while Ryan is Rockin’. Platinum wears the white inky rider and she mains the golden aerospray, while Cooler wears the Rockin’ leather jacket and mains the Golden Enperry Dualies. Rinet’s kinda an asshole but she’s a pretty fun friend to have around. Ryan is more laid back and a “go with the flow” kinda guy, but literally he doesn’t care about a lot of stuff. Rider and them all used to be on the same team until he got sick of Rinet’s shit because he thought she was such a snooty player and decided to go his own way while Rinet left with Ryan. Eventually, Rider found his own team that he has now. Every so often, if one of his teammates get sick or unavailable, Platinum will automatically fills in for them, and if not her, then it’ll be Rockin’ .

Platinum doesn’t play turf war or ranked battles that much. She’s mostly seen doing Grizzco shifts to try to help her and Rider’s mom pay the bills and get their mom closer to retirement; it’s also to save up money for college. Rockin’ and Rider wish she would quit someday, as they don’t trust Grizzco industries and their “policies” and work environment. Rider doesn’t admit it, but he worries about her a whole lot. Rockin’ does his best to keep an eye on her, mostly by tagging along with her in salmon runs as joint workers.

He’s pretty skilled with the E-Liter. He likes to stick with the no-scope; inspired by Headphones, in purpose of keeping an eye on his team.

He and Wireglasses weren’t related. They did grow up in the same neighborhood as kids, before Wireglasses moved to Splatsville with his parents. It made Rider kinda sad because they were actually good friends, one of the only real friends he ever really had before blue team. When they met again after he went to Splatsville, they gave each other a big ol hug.

His ass does not like Emperor. Emperor doesn’t like him either, except it’s more that he just doesn’t vibe with him, meanwhile Rider just LOATHES him to pieces. If they’re both in the same room, Rider will go out of his way to stand in the opposite side of the room just to be as far away from “that fancy ass whiteboy” as possible. It’s so ridiculously funny and more so when you remember that all of team blue are good friends with Emperor so it really ruffles Rider’s feathers.

He has nothing against Prince, tho. If the S4 say he’s cool, then he’s cool.

His mom is… She’s not perfect, to say the least. Who is, though? I mean, Sheena really did struggle to cope when he boyfriend abandoned her when she fell pregnant, with triplets no less. She absolutely refuses to drown her sorrows in alcohol and drugs, I implore her for that, but she was still incredibly depressed even when her kids came into the world. She was slightly neglectful during their first few years, and her parents didn’t bother to help her with them because she left them to be with her boyfriend, but they didn’t bother regaining contact even when she was struggling. Sheena got better eventually, especially after she started gaining more friends in the neighborhood who helped co-parent. Eventually she was able to get back on her feet and become the kind of parent she wanted to be for her three kids. Since then, she became a lot more energetic and bombastic, she had that cool aunt personality while juggling around two kids at the same time. She loves her babies to death, and she thinks it’s funny to kind of embarrass them in public all the time by giving them kisses all over their faces and head and giving them right hugs. Yes, it’s embarrassing, but Platinum, Rockin’ and Rider know that life would be a lot more duller without their mother around. 💚🤍🖤 (not me indulging in motorcycle mama 😭)

His mom’s part of a biker gang, and she has the nickname Rose because she wears a pink leather jacket that she got custom made. She’s got a sweet, red Road-King in the garage. She keeps saying that she’s gonna get Rider a black Road King someday when he’s old enough. Rider honestly doubts it, but don’t underestimate his mother’s determination to keep her word.

He’s honestly in no rush, really. In fact he’s afraid of getting back on the motorcycles again. He used to ride around on the back of his mom’s motorcycle and be part of “the gang,” but he take on a hiatus after a car accident that had him fist bumping death’s hand before he ended up in the hospital for almost a week with a scar that’s never gonna leave. He hasn’t road with her since, but even he admits that he wants to get back on it someday.

He’s pretty smart with cars and with motorcycles, too. He learned it all from his mom. Why go to the car repair center when you can take it over to his house to get it checked on? Charges a fair price, too. Rockin’ and Platinum like to help out too, but they’re much more experienced in motorcycles since they both own one and take of their own.

His right eye is partially blind from where he got sanitized. He would’ve felt more insecure about it if it weren’t for his boyfriends assuring him that he’s such a handsome boy every single day since they each of them got together.

Yes, he is built like a brick house. He swings a large mass of metal around like a wiffle bat everyday out in the battlefield. What else did you expect?

He’s so easy to scare, it’s hilarious. You can come up from behind him and go “BOO!” And he’ll jump a little and just glare at you. But if he gets really scared, like if he’s in one of those haunted house attractions, he’ll start screaming and slowly start falling to the ground in slow motion or just run off wordlessly. It’s even funnier because he’ll grab the nearest person he’s with and they’re both gonna eat shit together by falling or he’s gonna throw them over his shoulder and bull a skiddadle. Either that, or he’s just gonna run away so fast without saying anything; there was also this time he was playing basketball by himself in the evening and the lights suddenly went off and he SPED AWAY so fast you could hear the fear in his shoes when they squeaked. (That last part is based off a funny video I saw of a man running away when the streetlights went of). His ass does not like horror games, either

He has multiple pair of boots, and leather jackets.

He would absolutely wear the dreadlock hairstyle in Splatoon 3, he HAS too

He was very shocked to find out Army was an octoling, but he had his full support. But NOTHING could prepare him for when he finally met Goggles’ parents and learned that theyre octolings too. He likes them a whole lot, they’re very nice to him and they became friends with his mom when they all met each other at one of Goggle and Rider’s meet-your-parents dinner date

Ok so I’m so sorry I sorta just dumped my personal issues onto Mask that must’ve been really screwed up to read- (my mom didn’t die in a car crash but she had dementia and she died last year on new years). I was also indulging in Rider’s mom for a little bit, because, I wish my mom was still here to give me a bunch of kisses all over my face while I complain about people seeing us because- I miss that :(

Don’t worry about it 👍🏻

Also sorry for those who come back every so often and find out the headcanons have changed. I should probably just make part 3’s and 4’s but I don’t feel like it. I’m gonna do team blue at some point erp erp erp

And don’t look at me like that for also jumping on the oc x canon ship bandwagon with Mask. I just thought that they and Lilith would be silly together.

< Here’s the first part with Aloha and Army

[izzy-the-chaotic-gremlin]

Zackarie info dump!!!

Under cut of course :]

He is 29 years old

He LOVES anything 80's to 90's when it comes to cartoons

He has the average skater boy / surfer boy voice, like the whole "sup dude" and "come on let's go hit the waves bro" kinda stuff

He LOVES skateboarding

I like to imagine he was friends with Pepino as a kid

Now this one is kind of iffy, but I like to imagine that he went to the same war with pepino, he was a medic so he wouldn't be on the front lines, oh yes he and Peppino would absolutely recognize each other

He kinda disappeared for a little while after the war, and is only now reappearing to be with his siblings

For the longest while he thought Pepino was dead

He knew Pepino not by the name "Pepino" but instead by Soldier Speg, which is short for Soldier spaghetti

He calls Noah "little dude" and "little guy", much of the distaste of Noah

He goes by Zackarie, Zack, and ZigZag

Underneath his hat and hair he has heterochromia! He has one green eye and one brown eye

He may not let it on but he's actually incredibly smart! He's the kind of dude that you would go to if he had an emotional problem, or needed help figuring something out

Is a cat dog plush he takes around with him in his Sanrio backpack (Sanrio btw is the company that made hello kitty)

This is really chill dude overall, the kind of dude to just hang out in the background well the rest of the group does stuff

He's definitely the therapist of any friend group that he's been a part of

@cutechan555 @mrfellsans @luigigirl12

[misfitclassismyfreetherapy]

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #2

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Dark humor again. Woooh.

⚠️ Also this post might contain triggering topics such as smoking, juuling and more. ⚠️

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #1

Agares: You know if cats slept for an entire day, people will find them adorable and cute. But if I do it "I have mental health issues" and "I need help"? Seems quite unfair.

Kerori: Agares Picero. You slept for three straight days with no eating, skipping three days of school, not even communicating with us. You gave Gaap a heart attack-

Agares: I suddenly lost my ability to hear shit.

Kerori: You bitc-

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #2

Purson: Okay what happened with Jazz-kun and Lied-kun because I heard screaming beforehand and then when I came into the room they were cuddling and sleeping with eachother.

Iruma: Oh, Jazz-kun found a JUUL in Lied-kun bag and got mad and then Lied-kun called him a hypocrite because he also smok-

Purson : To make a long story short..?

Iruma: They fought and then one of them cried then comforted eachother while joking about their trauma.

Purson: It was wholesome until you added the last detail. Why?-

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #3

Agares: This cup of coffee represents my love for myself.

Gaap: Agares-dono...it's empty..

Agares: Exactly.

Kerori: Okay, who thought you dark humor? I- Wait ...*turns her head to Lied*

Lied: *sweating while pretending not to hear*

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #4

Iruma: Hey, Azz-kun do you think I look fat?

Asmodeus: ..Why?

Iruma: I'm sorry I just..

Asmodeus: No, why would people be so stupidly blind to not see your elusive beauty? Damn demon these days..

Iruma: * raises his eyebrows then quickly smiled*

Meanwhile..

Kerori: Imagine saying you're not depressed but your favourite song is "Look who's inside again."

Agares: Is this because I didn't follow your devi-account yet? I'm sorry that I don't like to follow akudols that I don't like.

Kerori: I hate you.

Agares: Glad the feelings mutual.

⭐Kerori and Agares is totally not inspired by my friendship with my friend irl. Nope definitely not.⭐

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #5

Kalego: Okay you brats,what the fuck do you do when you want to call for emotional support?

Misfit Class: Oh we're fine, how are you?

Kalego: No, just no. I'm literally gonna fucking kill your therapist at this point.

Dantelion who just went to annoy Kalego: ...

UPDATED!

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #6

Lied: What the devi? Hey, Agares what are you doing in the middle of the nig-

Agares: Do you know that there is over in lover.

Lied: Uh-

Agares: and end in friend.

Lied: UH-

Agares: and good in goodbye.

Lied: Isn't that kind of dark- anyways please go to sleep it's one o' clock in the morning.

Agares: Says your gaming addiction.

Lied: Says your coffee addiction.

Agares: Says-

Purson who can't sleep because of them: OH MY DEVI, WE'RE TRYING TO SLEEP! WE"LL DEAL WITH YOUR DEPRESSING BULLSHIT TOMMOROW. GO TO SLEEP YOU LITTLE SHITS! YOU"RE LUCKY I CARE ABOUT YOU OR ELSE I WOULD'VE BEATEN THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!

Claire's note:

Two hc I have showcase in this incorrect quote.

Uno, the Misfit Class sometimes sleepover at the royal one as a way of bonding.

Dos, Purson is a real bitch when he doesn't get any sleep.

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ENDING

My content is turning into dog-shit ain't it? Yeah, yeah it is. Btw I'm thinking of making a misfit class hamilton play in my fanfic. The demons starring the schuyler sisters.

Lied- Angelica

Iruma- Eliza

Agares- Peggy

Them three because them crossdressing is my literal sanity.

What do you think? My hand tells me no but my brain is telling me yes. I still don't know who should be hamilton though, I'm open to suggestions. Anyways I wish you a good day or night! See ya guys, gals and non-binary pals!