#his stubborn single strand of hair just GETS TO ME for some reason

[secriden]

Every episode, I fall more in love with him <3

These screenshots do not do justice to just how comforting Game is in this moment. His voice is so, so soft and kind and he doesn't try to pretend like Diew didn't just completely bomb the presentation, but he's also offering very honest and practical reasons for Diew to feel better. Sometimes when friends try to comfort you and they tell you that it's not a big deal or it wasn't as bad as it seems, it feels more like they're downplaying or not acknowledging how awful you feel but I like that Game isn't doing that.

But most importantly, he's not letting Diew face it alone:

I know everyone has things on their plate and so sometimes it's not always possible to offer to walk with someone through the difficult thing, but when someone DOES offer, goodness it can feel so, so good!

MND is so good at portraying genuinely good friendships. God's entire friend group, while chaotic, is just so enthusiastically supportive of each other. And I love that Diew and Game's friendship is built on these genuine moments of connection and common interest. You can really see why they're friends. Sometimes in shows there's a sense that if these people weren't just in the same class/thrown together by the situation, they may not really be friends but Diew and Game's friendship feels like they'd've found each other even if they weren't in the same class(es?) together (probably through seeing each others names on the same books they borrow from the library or some other cute shit like that). Literally every time they're together its just wholesome and lovely and good. <3

[gojoidyll]

I was wondering...Aventurine's s/o who sometimes is misgendered as a man (fem! reader)

Any thoughts? 👀

I have many thoughts about this anon, some I would definitely like to share 🤭

Let's see, to me, if you're being misgendered and Aventurine just so happens to see it, then I can see it happening in the workplace, at the casino, or on a date.

But mostly at the workplace because lets face it, the IPC haven't exactly been painting themselves as the good guys lately 😐 and I can see a few of your coworkers being this way (be it new employees who do it by accident or stubborn old ones who are just plain rude).

"You should go ask him. He knows a lot about the subject and could help out with the project."

You weren't far away from the people who were having the conversation since you all were in the same office, and since it was such a small office housing only seven or so desks, it was easy to hear every single conversation and know who was talking about who.

"Thank you, I will!"

You didn't want to turn away from your computer despite the heavy thumps of footsteps coming up behind you. Instead, you tried to ignore it and continue typing away at your report. Your eyes heavy and focused on the computer as your fingers mercilessly hit the innocent keys.

"Sir? Excuse me, sir?"

You resisted the urge to groan aloud. This always happens. Mainly for two reasons. One, the stubborn fool who keeps misgendering you refuses to acknowledge that you're a woman. And two, the same stubborn fool insists to new employees of the IPC that you're a man and should be referred to as such.

And with a final tap on your shoulder, you sighed. Your feet planted on the ground as you swiveled your chair around.

"That's ma'am to you."

The new recruit was quick to fumble and bowed, "I'm sorry, ma'am! I was told that you could help me with- blah blah blah blah blah," you couldn't care about what he was saying. Not when your alarm went off, signaling your lunch break.

"Sounds interesting newbie, but if you'll excuse me, I'm going to lunch."

You didn't let the new employee get another word in as you got up and did a little stretch before walking out of the office while also being sure to ignore the smug looking bastard who waved at you while you left. Working in such a place exhausted you, and you hoped to hide your tiredness when you met up with the one person who made it all worth it. But...he noticed immediately the moment you sat down in his comfy couch in his own personal office.

He was already beside you when you sat down, and instead of grabbing his own food, his mesmerizing eyes bore into you.

"What's wrong?"

His voice always sounded tender when he talked with you, especially when he knows you've been having a bad day. He doesn't use his condescending voice or the voice he finely tunes to get people to like him. He is just ... being himself. Granted it's behind closed doors, but you were thankful that he didn't wear his bluff around you.

"It's...," to be honest, you've been dealing with this coworker for a long whilen now, and even though it's hurts being called something you're not, you thought you could handle it yourself. Though, lately, it's just been getting harder, "it's just this coworker of mine. He ... he keeps misgendering me. I know it sounds stupid and that I'm probably just being too sensitive but..."

"Name."

"Huh?"

"The name, give me the name of this coworker of yours," Aventurine said smoothly as he leaned into you, his arm slung around your shoulders as his fingers lightly twirled a strand of your hair between his fingertips. His warmth immediately engulfed you into a comforting embrace that you couldn't help but lean into. Despite being such a calculating person, he always had a way of disarming you and making you feel safe.

"Aven... it's nothing. I just, I just need to vent a little is all."

"Venting is great and all, but that doesn't solve the problem. Besides, who told you that you're being too sensitive anyway? Being hurt over something isn't something to be ashamed of. So, the name. Give it to me, and i can make it all better. Promise."

His tone held that usually lilt in his voice that scratched your ears just right. Honestly, he could be telling you the nightmares within a black hole, and you would be putty in his hands.

And so, with little resistance, you relinquished the name of the stubborn coworker who keeps giving you trouble. Granted, you did worry that you were getting special privileges since your boyfriend was in a higher station than you, but don't worry about that. You are Aventurine's significant other after all, there is nothing wrong with relying on him every once and awhile. ;)

[harryforvogue]

hi this is the first date fic that i deleted out of hatred about two months ago. sorry for that! i won't write a part 2 but due to demands, i'm reposting this. fank u <3 harry and yasmine of course.

***

“I want to take you out,” Harry says while clearing the dishes.

Yasmine looks up at him, alarmed. “I haven't wronged you that much, I’d argue.”

He snorts, shaking his head. “No. Out. On a proper date.”

“Oh.” Yasmine frowns. “You don’t have to.”

He puts the dishes into the sink, mentally vowing to do them before they go to sleep. Or just him, if Yasmine doesn’t want to stay over in his room for a second night in a row. He’ll try his hardest to convince her anyways. He’s a master at persuasion, but his girlfriend is also as stubborn as a fucking rock.

“Why not?” He returns to her on the couch, throwing an arm over the back. “You really don’t think I’m romantic? I’ll let you know that I’m great at all that stuff. And when finals begin, we’ll get too busy with grading and studying so I think it’s a great time to do that now.”

Yasmine looks torn, which really perplexes him. “Are you so worried about being seen with me, Yasmine?” he jokes.

“No,” she answers slowly. Too slowly. She looks back at the TV. “It’s just that I haven’t been on a real date like that before.”

“Poor baby. But I haven’t even told you what we're going to do. You might hate the idea.”

“The fact that you called it a real date tells me all I need to know.”

He smiles, the back of his hand brushing against her shoulder. “You’ve never been on something called a real date?”

“I don’t think so.”

She looks so cute, frowning like that. He can’t help it. He leans over and kisses her head. She scowls at him. He doesn’t mind a single bit. 

Yasmine doesn’t pull away though. After staring him down with her dark, intimidating eyes, she leans in and rests her head on his shoulder. “Fine. We can go on a date.”

“Don’t make it sound like it’s a death sentence, Yasmine.”

“It depends on where you’ll take me.”

He leans his head on hers. “We’ve never gone to a good restaurant and had overly expensive yet mediocre food? Never went out for dessert either and swapped food. That’s what they do in romance movies.”

Yasmine takes his hand and puts it in her lap She squeezes her fingers around his before beginning to play with his rings. “And how many, on average, romance movies do you usually watch, Harry?”

“Oh plenty. I take notes too.”

“You’ve gotta let me see them sometime.”

He says, “No way. Take your own notes.”

“I don’t watch romance movies. Not as much as you apparently.”

He shrugs. “I’m a man with taste, what can I say? Maybe if you switched out a horror movie with a romance once in a while, you would–”

Yasmine shudders. “I’d never do that.”

“I seriously don’t understand how you don’t have nightmares. The last movie we watched, we literally saw someone get sliced in half.”

“And it was wonderful.”

He gives her a look. “Have you considered therapy?”

“Even more therapy? Give me a break.”

Harry’s arm is completely around her now. She’s left her hair out so it brushes against his cheek. He doesn’t mind that either, enjoying the feel of her soft strands. She usually keeps her hair in ponytails or buns, so he takes advantage and runs his fingers through it.

For some reason, Yasmine immediately feels the need to explain herself. “When I showered this morning, I didn’t dry it so I couldn't put it up.”

Harry shakes his head. “I love when it’s down.”

To this, Yasmine scowls again. “Stop.”

“I can’t stop.”

“Don’t look at me like that.”

He bites his inner cheek to avoid smiling. “I’m looking at you how I always do.” His fingers trail down, ghosting over her jaw. “Can you give me a kiss?”

Apparently not only has she never been on a real date, but she’s also never been with someone who shows her affection so outwardly. When she gets embarrassed, her defenses immediately go up, hence the blush currently spreading across her cheeks.

“No.”

“No?” He tilts his head. “Please?”

“No.” She looks away. “Go away actually.”

Harry laughs softly, wrapping his other arm around her too. He lifts her up into his lap and tightens his hold, making sure she can’t get away. Yasmine doesn’t exactly push him away, but doesn’t look at him either.

“Don’t be embarrassed,” he says, kissing her head again. “We’re dating. I’m allowed to–”

“You say things like that,” Yasmine interrupts, her face hot to the touch, “out of nowhere. It catches me off guard.”

He laughs again. “Okay. Sorry. I will give you warnings before I say something similar.”

“Good.”

“Yasmine.”

She begrudgingly turns her head. “What?”

“I am going to say something very ridiculously romantic and cheesy. Please brace yourself.”

Her jaw tightens. “That’s not what I meant!”

“Can I say it? Please, oh please?”

She crosses her arms. “Go ahead,” she mutters.

“I think,” he says quietly, twirling her hair between his fingers, “that you are the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen. And I’d really really like for you to kiss me.”

Yasmine’s face is so red, Harry wants to laugh once more, but he holds back, watching the words settle around in her head. “I hate you,” she whispers, her hands balled into fists. “You just say things.”

“I do say things,” he whispers back. “Because I want you to know precisely how I feel. I reckon one of us should be good at communication.”

“I am wonderful at communicating!”

“Oh yeah?”

Her lips thin. “Don’t oh yeah me.”

“Does it bother you? Poor baby.”

Yasmine’s eyes are narrowed. She stares at him menacingly for a full 3 seconds before her fingers slide into his hair, and she kisses him so deeply, he’s pushed back into the sofa. His grip tightens around her waist, a smile curling onto his lips. She may not be good at communicating verbally, but her body language gives it all away. She’s just as infatuated as he is. Harry’s other hand holds the back of her head. Fuck, he thinks to himself when she slides her hands down and grabs his collar, pushing herself further into his lap. She pulls away to steal a quick breath and then kisses him again. This woman.

Harry tilts his head back and lets her adjust herself on his thighs, her knees on either side of his hips. It seems like they always fall into this position whenever one of them is over and the other’s place, and if they’re together, he’d very much rather be doing this. No wonder they haven’t gone on a “real date” when this is all they do.

Yasmine pulls off of him, her eyes a bit glazed over but the frown still intact. It’s honestly impressive how dedicated she is to being upset with him. He cups her face. “You like me so bad.”

“I don’t!” she answers breathlessly.

“Are you refusing to go on a date with me because we can’t be doing this in public? Trust me, when I get you home, we’ll do this and so much more.”

She pinches his earlobe. “That’s not it.”

“I’d love to know what it really is then.”

Yasmine looks away, removing her hands from his collar, tucking them into her lap. She sighs and stays silent for some time while gathering her thoughts. Harry only watches her, too mesmerized by the expressions on her face before she speaks. 

“I don’t know what to do on a date.”

Harry’s eyebrows raise. “What to…do?”

“Yeah,” she grumbles. “How to be normal.”

“Well, I can pick the first place to go. I actually had something in mind. Something we’d both like.”

She sighs again. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that dates are awkward and so far we haven’t been like that so I don’t want it to sneak up on us.”

Harry smiles. “Yasmine, first dates are definitely awkward. But we’ve been together for two months now. I don’t think there’s any weirdness between us or you wouldn’t be sitting in my lap right now.”

As expected, she immediately goes to roll away. He snickers and holds her down.

“Besides,” Harry says. “I think we get along very well. I just want to treat you to something nice. I didn’t think it would take this amount of convincing just to get you to go to dinner with me.”

“We’ve had dinner together.”

“I most certainly don’t hope you mean at the dining hall.”

“No…” She very clearly does.

He gathers her up in his arms. “Dinner this weekend then.”

“Aren’t you supposed to ask me?”

“I tried that. Now I’m ordering you.” He kisses her softly. “You will have dinner with me this weekend or else.”

She frowns. “Or else what?”

“Or else I will make you watch my favorite movie with me.”

She blinks.

“Of the Star Wars variety,” he finishes.

“No!” 

“Yes!”

She starts wiggling out of his hold so he lets her go. She’s on her feet. “You can’t make me!”

“Oh I can and I will.” He shrugs. “Wear something fancy, by way. I’m paying so all you have to do, my frightening girl, is show up and provide me with your company. It won’t be that bad.” He reaches for her hand. “Come on. I know you want to go out with me. I can tell.”

She doesn’t deny it this time. He’s mentioned the date so many times, so she's probably accustomed to the idea now. When she answers, it’s a nod, and when she tells him it’s late and she needs to go back, Harry tugs on her hand until she falls against him and says, “Wanna stay?”

(Yasmine’s glad he asked because there’s no chance in hell she’d straight up give him the satisfaction of asking him.)

***

At night, they’re cuddling in his bed when Yasmine suddenly turns her lamp on and moves to face him. He’s had his face buried in her hair, arms around her tight from behind, ankles crossed with hers. His eyes open when she turns, adjusting his hold.

“Hey,” she whispers.

“Hey back.”

“Are you sleeping?”

“I’m answering, so I guess not.”

“Hmm.” She searches blindly for his hand. He laces their fingers together. “When you say dress fancy, what does that mean? I don’t think I have fancy clothes.”

He closes his eyes. “You remember that one dress you wore a while back? The one that kind had a corset sort of middle?”

The silence that follows is so deafening, Harry opens his eyes to check if she’s fallen asleep. Instead, she’s staring at him with a weird look.

“What?” he murmurs.

“I only own one corset dress. The black one?”

“Mhm,” Harry says. “That one. The one with the sleeves that kept falling down your shoulders. So pretty.”

“I wore it a year ago.”

“Yeah.”

“How the hell do you remember that?”

He smiles. “Remember everything about you.”

“You didn’t even know me then.”

Harry hugs her. “I’ve always known you, Yasmine. You just never looked at me.”

“Oh I did plenty of looking.”

“Looking not ogling.”

“I don’t ogle!”

“Sure. But yes, wear that. With those black heels boots you wear with your dress pants for seminars. And leave your hair out.”

“You have so many demands.”

“Don’t let them fool you,” he murmurs. “I like you just as much in sweatpants.” Yasmine’s silent again. Harry chuckles. “Too much?”

“You are always too much,” she whispers. Despite her words, she snuggles in closer. He kisses her forehead.

Yasmine doesn’t ask him any more questions. She falls asleep against him, still holding his hand.

***

The day of the date comes, and Harry’s gone all out. Currently, he’s standing by her door, bouncing on his heels with anticipation.

He doesn’t even have the time to compliment her outfit and her beautiful hair. Yasmine looks at him and then the flowers in his hand, and then promptly shuts the door in his face. Harry leans against the frame and laughs quietly. “Oh come on! I couldn’t resist it.”

“No.”

“We don’t have to take them with us.” He reaches for the door handle, stepping into her apartment. “I just wanted to see that look on your face.”

He holds the flowers out to her, looking at her pointedly. “Go on. Take them.”

She slowly wraps her hands around the stems and takes them. As expected, her face is flushed with embarrassment. “Thanks,” she whispers.

“You look beautiful,” he continues, sweeping her into his arms. “The dress is just how I remembered.” 

Yasmine pulls the dress down a bit. “A little short though.”

“Oh I know.”

“Of course you do.” 

Harry watches her set the flowers neatly on her kitchen counter. She turns to him. “You look great too.”

“I know.” Harry’s gone for a more casual look with a black shirt, jeans, and a jacket. He has a hand tucked into his pocket, and he can tell just from how she’s looking at him that he looks damn well better than just “great.”

He holds a hand out. “Are you ready for a wonderful night with just me and you?”

She takes his hand and lets him tug her close. “Yes, however, I’ve thought a lot about it and I can’t agree with you paying for it all.”

“No, Yasmine. This is a real date.”

“I mean it.”

“I mean it too.” He holds her chin. “I really am.” 

“We’ll see.”

“Yasmine,” he murmurs. “No.” He bends down to kiss her gently. “Now let's go. We’ve got reservations and I’ve got an Uber waiting downstairs.”

“Oh I can–”

“Which has already been paid for.”

She’s staring dagger at him when he smiles, pulls away, and begins to lead her out the door. When she’s finished locking up, he takes her hand, and starts to walk to the elevator.

“It’s going to be a good night,” he says, his eyes sparkling with excitement. “I promise.”

[bathic]

10. Why should you listen to him anyways?

Word Count: 2.2k

Chapter Warning: Minor altercation.

Cold water was the last thing you expected to be awakened by; the rush of the low temperature washing over you like a tidal wave in the summer making you jerk up and sputter. Stray droplets flew in rogue directions, some even collecting across your upper lashes to drip down onto your shirt. Meeting the unblinking eyes of Yeosang, bucket hanging from the casual grip of one hand, through the bars of your cell drew the unremarkable conclusion that he had just doused you in the liquid without a single care of your unconsciousness. But why would he? Perhaps he was seeing if he could drown you without having to go through the struggle of manhandling you under the water's surface. Or this might have been their means of bathing you.

"Seriously? A simple 'hey, wake up' would have done the job."

Yeosang drops the bucket without a single ounce of care to dig out something from his pocket. "It would have, the water also did the job just as efficiently."

You send him a rather wet glare under damp strands of hair; however, it shifted quickly when the familiar clinking of metal rattled within his grip.

"Get up."

“No.”

Despite the taste of some sort of freedom dangling right before you, the stubbornness woven within your person just couldn’t make it easy. Why should you listen to him anyways? A man who forced you here in the brig against your will, stood idly as the shirt was torn from your back (and barely clinging to your front by the remaining sleeve hem) and appeared to simply toss water on you and bark demands without offering a single reason. An ass he was just like his rotten captain.

Yeosang huffs, shouldering the cell door open and crowding into the square shaped space. You scramble backwards on your hands and heels but he’s quicker than you expected, grabbing at the tattered remains of your shirt against your chest and yanking you up in a singular breath. You scowled at him like a defensive dog, teeth bared, and lips curled away from teeth. He wasn’t impressed, by the casual lift of an oddly manicured eyebrow as if posing the inquiry of ‘really? Is that supposed to scare me?’.

“Captain wishes to discuss something with you— one on one.”

“I have nothing to say to that dirt stain of a man.”

The words carried over stray spittle, of which landed along the skin of Yeosang’s cheek. You watched his nostrils flare and the tick in his jaw jump with every silent clench. That was most likely your warning to back down, do as you are told and let what needs to happen play out and hope that there is a silver lining for you. Instead, the man twists you around and slams your front into the bars inside the cell. His hand is digging into the back of your head like he plans to completely sink the entire appendage through your skull and into your brain. Your jaw was aching from the impact, teeth digging into the inner skin of your mouth until the familiar tang of blood lightly coated your tongue. What breath you had was rattled out harshly through the uncomfortable squash of your nose against the rusted bar.

“It won’t take nothing more than a second to snap your neck at the base of your skull with a swift flick of my wrist. If you value your mouth over your life, then you will remain silent and do as you are told.”

You sputter out a reply that is, more or less, a wet gargle. You weren’t even sure if you had meant for a word or two to pass through but needing to affirm that you had decided to heed his threat and would (begrudgingly) follow his command until he has relinquished you to his oh-so beloved captain. Yeosang eased his grip slowly, far too slowly and took a few stray pieces of your hair with him that clung to the palm of his hand. The pesky little things breaking at your roots in sharp pinches.

His foot nudges the side of your right ankle, an action similar to a slap on the hindquarters of a horse. It was to get you moving and you did without resistance this time. Who’s to say next time (if there so much as to be a next time) that you won’t dig your heels into the floor hard enough to skin them just by the weight of your bullheadedness.

~

“Do you think this is a good idea? You know nothing of her motives, where she hails or who she may run with and yet you wish to have a private chat with her like two gossiping crickets? I truly wish I knew where your head was attached to your body, Kim Hongjoong because I’m afraid it isn’t on your neck.” Seonghwa paced back and forth in front of the unperturbed captain’s desk, running a ragged line in the wood beneath his boots.

Hongjoong pulled the oak pipe from his lips, a billow of smoke curling away at the corners of his mouth. “Where my head sits is none of your concern, Hwa. Rest your own for once and let your captain do his bidding as he pleases.”

“That is exactly why I can’t. Your biddings are nothing short of reckless and bordering the line of insanity-induced violence.” The man stops to run a delicate hand through his dark hair, slender fingers catching tangles and cruelly yanking at them until they break. It soothed him slightly to know something was at least yielding to him. Even if the action was causing more harm than good.

“Please, you are being overly dramatic. I just want to talk, nothing more nothing less.”

“Talk?” Seonghwa pauses with his heel parallel to the floor, “When is it ever just talk with you?” The oldest knew he was treading a fine line that’ll have him in the same state as Yunho, but his grievances weren’t being considered in the slightest.

Hongjoong places the pipe-end back between his lips, goading Seonghwa with a lift of an eyebrow to continue his tirade. The line was cast and the bait set to dangle right from the space between them. Seonghwa wasn’t the second in command, just the eldest with his age holding a smidgen of rank in the crew's arbitrary food-chain. But it’s not like that truly mattered, not to Hongjoong at least. They were all beneath him, snug within the grooves of his leather boots— even his wing-bound, Mingi.

“You afford a prisoner the luxury of idle chitchat, yet you lift both hand and foot to your mates until they bleed and bruise—“

“I barely touched Wooyoung, and Yunho could handle a bit of rough treatment. He’s an adult, Seonghwa, not a puny larva.” Hongjoong blows a plume of gray smoke harshly across the plains of his desk, casting the disarray of papers and accumulated objects into a suffocating haze. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were accusing me of—“

“I am not pointing my finger at you, but I am trying to make you see how unreasonable you are being.” Seonghwa’s wings flutter in time with the heavy sigh shifting out of his chest.

“I fail to see what has you so uptight. So, what? I punished Yunho and Wooyoung for their actions according to how severely they fucked up and yet I am the bad guy. What kind of captain would I be if I rolled over and let my crew do as they pleased.” He eyes narrow, dark and bottomless. “A spineless one.”

Seonghwa’s jaw clenches, teeth grinding enough to click. “You would rather be seen as a tyrant than understanding? It does not take a weak man to listen. It does not make you any less of a captain to be merciful.”

Those words were hissed from the mouth of a serpent, one that had Hongjoong on his feet with a hand on the hilt of his favored pistol strapped at his hip. Seonghwa wished to believe that the action was a mere empty threat, but this particular one has been made quite a bit over the passing moon-cycles and each time the vacant look in Hongjoong’s eyes remained the same.

~

Yeosang gestured for you to halt with a raised hand. It trembled slightly in the momentary stillness before reaching forward and folding into a fist against the wood of a singular door. There was a gold placard at head-height, a cursive etching of “Captain’s Quarters” finely written into the metal.

The door flies open, air whooshing into the room, sucking at the front of Yeosang’s shirt and strands of wispy hair. Yeosang could feel the tension oozing out of the captain's private sanctuary, but he’d be none the wiser in keeping his inquiries snuffed out. At least for now, he will take the chance later when Seonghwa and him are in the comfort of their room to ask.

“No need to yank it off its hinges.”

Seonghwa had a sour look on his face as he gazed past his beloved and spotted your grimy form standing just a foot away. “That’ll be the lesser of our problems.”

He receded to the side, letting Yeosang step through and you, hesitating just a second longer than he would have liked. You knew it was stupid to entertain the thought of making another break for it, not when two of your captors stood hardly a hairs length away and Seonghwa could see the impulsivity written across each curve and dip of your face. That made his tongue click, loud.

The sound catches your attention.

“Are you about done wasting our time on chasing dead-ends in that incendiary head of yours?” His tone was harsh, the complete opposite of how he whispered to Yunho back in the brig.

Your upper lip curls just a bit, “Never.”

Seonghwa’s eyes narrow and the hand he still has wrapped around the brass knob of the door clenches and rattles. Oh, what he would give to just wrap his pretty fingers around your neck and snuff out your life and put an end to your sudden appearance— once and for all.

“Seonghwa, quit being a toad and let ‘er in.”

The voice of the captain was unmistakable, even in its lax state and almost tinkling with humor. He sounded like he found a good bit of fun in the way Seonghwa was vibrating against every single nerve and compulsive thought egging him on to lose his temper and wring you out like he would a wet rag.

You watch him slink further off to the side, making the entry to the room more spacious for you to slip in. Yeosang stood at Hongjoong’s left, arms crossed over his chest and ever-so stoic despite the wandering hand at his hip. You watch it dip and snag at the leather harness wrapped around his waist for just a fleeting moment.

“You wanted to talk?”

The relaxed form of the man who you watched beat Yunho, slumped and casually smoking from a pipe was like night and day. Hongjoong hums, painted nails drumming against Yeosang’s side. Seonghwa appears in your peripheral, lowered down into a blur amongst deep reds and rich emeralds.

“Ah, I only conduct discussions when seated. So, if you will— have a seat.”

Hands slammed down on your shoulders with an unusual amount of force, making your legs fold quicker than you have ever had the chance of witnessing before. Your backside landed on a soft cushion of a chair and while you would have taken just a smidgen of your attention to look at it properly, the sudden entrapment of your wrists, ankles and neck by copper shackles bursting from some hidden compartment in the gold framework turned every single thought into radio silence.

Hongjoong kicks his boots up onto the surface of his desk much to the vocal distaste of Seonghwa now coming to stand beside Yeosang, his own hand seeking out a small feel of his lover from the skin on the back of his neck.

“That’s better, hm? Never quite understood how some can even properly think let alone talk while busy on their feet. Seems too much of a distraction.”

You blinked, brows furrowing at how utterly nonchalant he was being despite having you restrained to a chair just for a something as mundane as a little chitchat. Then again, you did witness him harm two members of his crew without batting an eye nor giving them a chance to explain their selves. Which might have been partially your fault.

“Let’s begin then.”

Something about the way he smiles at you, fawn colored hair falling over his forehead with the tilting of his head sparked an uncanny feeling deep in your gut.

════════════════════════════════════

Masterlist

[glittery-phantom]

TW: angry vent, lots of cussing, vivid details of SH, Mentions of Body dysmorphia, Mentions of purg3ing and b1ng1ng, unhinged thoughts, considerations of Self c@nnibal1sm(unacted), Thoughts of burning SH(unacted), Tw calories, Tw negative self talk, Tw personal vent, Hair pulling,

My stupid stomach makes me angry I just wanna cut the flesh off maybe if I shed enough skin I'll look sk1nn1er without even trying I've already made some attempts but it's just so stubborn if I really wanted to right now I could cut some pieces off and eat them later because it's not like it fucking matters I'm purg3ing anyways and no matter how many calories are in it I'll always be ugly and disgusting

Why am I even so angry right now? I don't know just can't believe I'm this much of a failure

It's like I'm drunk off of sheer rage

I've pulled out hair, Sl@shed my legs over and over trying to press and cvt so hard they blËed

St@bbed myself with the kn1fe, cvt at my stomach, Hit my legs and arm with the blade, Bit myself repeatedly trying to make my arm look worse because I'm not some fucking pvssy I can either do it right or not at all

My friend says I'm distressed I haven't even told him shit I don't know how he figures I'm "distressed" but it makes me so angry hearing him say that to me because I'm NOT distressed! I'm angry and part of the reason I'm mad is because of him!

But I'm not mad at him either because I know this isn't his fault he didn't do anything wrong he's been so sweet and has already gone through enough I don't want to hurt him which is why I haven't told him anything and no matter how many times he offers to let me vent I refuse to take him up on his offer because I know it'd be painful and triggering for him to hear what I've done to myself and how I feel it'd break his heart to know I was upset at him for something he has no control over when all he's ever tried to do is make me happy over and over

I try to censor myself I don't know why he thinks I'm so upset all I've done is distance and downplay even twisting the truth a little but I mean I didn't exactly deny I was having a bad day or anything I just didn't think he'd pick up that I was a little more than just a tiny bit upset

I don't wanna take my frustrations out on him he deserves it the least but I am livid for some reason I wish today never happened that this was all some terrible ED dream again and I can wake up later discovering I actually ate nothing

My progress over the course of 5 days was DESTORYED! and now where am I? Self h@rming in the bathroom getting mad at the world and my friend and myself and just about anything that even so much as looks at me wrong while trying to hvrt myself

Fuck everything nothing is worth shit I want to be freed from this stupid bathroom

May my arms hurt as much as my brain hurts me every single day

If somebody gave me a ligher right now I would actually hold it up to my bruised and scarred arm and burn the flesh maybe then my co-workers might believe whatever bullshit I feed them tomorrow when I go in for work assuming of course they even fucking care bet they wouldn't even ask honestly

I wish the hair strands I yank out were caused by malnutrition and not me trying to hvrt myself I deserve it either way fuck my body fuck everything and everybody I'm nothing but a box filled with rage waiting to blow up and spray venom at everybody who even so much as looks at me wrong today

[yourmidnightlover]

never go back

Summary: spencer notices how your boyfriend takes advantage of you and finally does something about it.

TW: titty sucking, oral (female receiving), cheating, dom!spencer, scratching, slapping (only one), cursing, choking, spencer dirty talk lol, penetrative sex, creampie. *let me know if i missed anything*

WC: 3,724

A/N - i'm using noah as the 'other man' schtick in probably all of my future one shots bc i can't find it within myself to create a new character each and every time. so your douche of a bf will always be noah miller. if you ever get a nice bf i'll be sure to change his name but for now this is what we're working with. got it? got it.

masterlist

-------------------------------

there are many things that people should go back to. schooling, maybe an old job, an old vacation spot.

your boyfriend was not one of those things.

mostly because your boyfriend sucked.

it was now a fact that spencer reid himself had come to believe quite a while ago and now, well now he had reason.

he had always felt as though you were too good for noah, similar for practically anyone in existence (himself included). he was always a complete ass to you no matter the circumstance.

there was one time the entire team had been back really late from a case that took a toll on all of you. it was emotionally and physically draining. the flight back had been delayed because of weather issues in the state you had been in, meaning you couldn't leave until days after it was solved.

any time you had gone to answer the phone, spencer would be able to see your stance and body language through the glass window. you had been apologizing for something you couldn't even control. you would narrow your brows the way you only did when you were being yelled at. you bit your lip the way you did when you were being made to feel guilty.

he was guilt tripping you for something you couldn't even control.

when you had gotten back it wasn't any better. noah had been giving you the cold shoulder. he was defensive when you asked what was wrong.

and that was only 3 weeks into the relationship.

after being together for 2 months, you had gotten flowers delivered on your desk. you assumed they were from your boyfriend, reasonably so, and went to go thank him. spencer saw the shock in your eyes when you saw your boyfriend huddled in the corner with some new intern. spencer saw the look in your eye change from sadness to anger in the blink of his own.

you took a deep breath, and walked away from the situation, completely missing the way he tucked the intern's hair behind her ear as he leaned in to whisper something to make her giggle. when you got back to your desk you threw the flowers in the garbage can, not even bothering to read the note.

it was pretty indirect, but looking into it he realized it was an issue that should've been addressed. every time the team would go out together, everyone was clearly invited. you would always decline because 'noah wanted to take me out tonight' or 'noah said he needs me, so i'll have to rain check'.

it wasn't because you were a bad person, the opposite actually. it was because noah was taking advantage of your kindness.

because any time you needed him, 'noah's out with the boys' or 'noah had to work late' or, here's a kicker, 'noah had a hard time at work'. as if you don't have a hard time looking at dead bodies while he just has to write up reports.

even when you got injured during a case, shot in the shoulder, noah seemed as though he couldn't have cared less. he wouldn't even go to your apartment to visit you while you were in recovery because 'noah didn't have time to visit'.

spencer could even recall when you went out with the girls one night, spencer being the designated driver, that you had told them how 'noah didn't want you to dress too provocatively so you had to wear something more modest'.

now, spencer doesn't care all to much about what you wear because, frankly, it's none of his business. but now that he heard how noah cared oh-so-much, he decided to wrack his brain for the 'provocative' outfits you've worn. there was not a single one that anyone should make a comment about. you looked stunning no matter what you wore, so you'd grab any man's attention no matter the clothing on your body.

but spencer? he made sure to never be that much of an asshole to you. he made sure to make up for him being an asshole.

he would grab you some morning coffee like you always had before you had a boyfriend. he would make sure to tell you that you looked lovely when you were able to go out with the team. he would visit you when you injured yourself and were lonely, he even stayed back for a few days with you to help you get through it.

hell, he was the one to get you the flowers. you had been having a rough week and spencer thought it might cheer you up. he had gifted you a bouquet of 12, blue chiffon flowers because those were your favorite.

but this was his breaking point. you had come to his apartment, once again in the middle of the night, talking about noah fucking miller cheating on you.

he had done it once before when he was 'out with the boys' you decided to stop by when he said he'd be back, wanting to just be the amazing girlfriend that you are. so when you walk in and hear your boyfriend moaning along with another woman that isn't you, you immediately run back out. you run back out and drive all the way to spencer's.  

and here you are again. spencer wasn't mad at you, it was noah he was mad at. he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

spencer had always liked you, no, he's always loved you. everything about you. how could he not? you're perfect.

but loving you how he does and seeing you being used as a toy to fuck for a certain noah miller not only made his heart ache but also made his blood boil.

spencer wasn't an idiot. he had heard the way the old morgan had referred to women. the thing is, noah is way more of a fuckboy than the old morgan ever was. and that scared spencer to pieces. he knew that you would only be missing out on team outings just to get fucked by a douchebag. he knew that the only reason said douchebag wouldn't visit you was because you couldn't fuck. he knew that the reason said douchebag was cornering that intern was to fuck her, too.

so when you arrived at spencer's place, this time you weren't crying. you were furious. you were angry and upset, as was spencer.

"he did it again, spence," you breathed out as you paced across his living room floor. "i was supposed to meet him in a few hours but i was going to surprise him and i caught him with another tramp! i didn't even confront him. i just- i just left!"

"cheated? noah?" he asked as if he didn't believe it at first, not wanting to seem like as much of a dick as noah.

"yes! cheated. god! i am so ANGRY!" you ran your hand through your hair, a grunt leaving your mouth. "and... and frustrated! and... UGH!" you sighed aggressively.

"and what?" spencer asked as he stood up, slowly making his way to you. "what else?" he said, his hand now brushing that stubborn strand of hair behind your ear.

"i-i'm..." you trailed off, getting lost in his beautiful eyes.

if you were honest with yourself, you'd admit how much you loved spencer. but you thought he'd never love you like that. not since you helped him through jj getting married. he really thought she was it for him, at least that's what you'd come to think he believed. over the years you had grown so much closer and grown such an attraction for each other that the other person knew about. it was ironic, truly.

"say it, y/n," spencer leaned over you, his lips ghosting over yours. "i need to hear you say it."

"god, just kiss me," you said, your hands flying to the back of his hair to push his mouth to yours.

there was no hesitation from spencer to give you everything he had. his hand on the side of your face remained there as his other hand drifted to your waist to pull you closer to his body. your tongues met fervently with covetous, passion, and longing yet with just gentle firmness that felt protecting and as if it was how everything was supposed to be.

"please, spencer," you quietly whispered once you unlatched from one another.

"please what, princess," he asked, his hand running through your hair.

"i just... i need you," she pleaded with him, her hands still tugging gently on his hair. "please," you put your foreheads together, breathing in each others air as you silently begged him to help you in any way that he could.

"i'd do anything for you," he whispered so delicately as if the entire team were standing right beside you. "you know i'd do anything for you."

"then do something," you demanded.

spencer took action by kissing you just as intensely as before, this time his hands went to your ass. he grabbed your thighs to signal for you to jump, once you did you wrapped your legs around his torso as he carried you into his bedroom. he set you down just in front of the bed before you began to undo his shirt, him returning the favor by undoing yours.

"god, i've wanted you for so long," he growled, nipping gently at your earlobe as he laid you back on the bed. "lift your hips," he ordered, you obeyed his every command. you always would. "good girl," he praised as he ran his hands down your now bare waist.

"please," you begged, your hips bucking up to get any source of friction. "spencer..." you trailed off.

"i know, princess. i know," he said before climbing on top of you, connecting your lips with his once again, this time much more eager than before if that were possible.

as you arched your back, he took the opportunity to unclasp the hook on your bra. you shrugged it off your shoulders to allow him to throw the bra somewhere else in his room. he finally took a breath, removing his lips from yours to admire the view in front of him.

"god, you're so beautiful," he growled before placing gentle but eager kisses along the tops of your breasts, massaging the one his mouth wasn't on.

he pressed his knee between your legs, allowing you to buck your hips up to get that release you wanted so bad. you whined as he took your nipple in his mouth, his tongue flicking past it rapidly as he occasionally nibbled on it gently.

"spen-spencer," you ran your hands through his hair, tugging gently on the roots.

"mmm," he sat his head up, trailed kisses up your throat. "god, i love you so much."

"i-i love you," you moaned, pulling his head up to connect your lips together. "i love you so so much."

"i'm so glad to hear that," he huffed a sigh of relief. "because otherwise it'd be awkward when i did this," he began trailing kisses down your body, leading down towards your center. "i'll show you what it's like to be with a man that actually loves and respects you, yea? show you what it feels like to actually be pleased by a man? what it's like to be with a real man?" he teased.

his fingers trailed around your entrance, gathering your arousal that'd been building for what felt like ages. he pressed gentle kisses around your pussy before finally connecting his lips with your clit, a low groan emitting from your body because of the contact.

"yes, please," you shot your head back, relishing in the feeling of the direct skin contact.

"hey," spencer slapped your thigh, your head shot back up to see him between your legs, a truly beautiful sight that you'd never get tired of. "eyes on me," he demanded before going back down on you, not breaking eye contact as he brought out sounds from you that you weren't even sure you could make. "talk to me, princess. let me know how it feels."

"fe-feels so good," you sighed, taking your breasts in your hands and massaging them. "i-i can-can't even think," you stuttered out, too caught up in the pleasure to form a coherent sentence.

you had felt so good as he sucked on your clit, succeeding in bringing you closer to the edge than noah ever has, but when he inserted two fingers into your entrance...

"oh my fuck!" your hands shot down to grab onto his locks, pushing him further into your body, a low groan leaving him.

his fingers didn't stop their work. he curled them at just the right spot, sending you flying over the edge. spencer used his free hand to grab onto your thigh to keep them from closing in completely on his head, still working you through your high. he placed a kiss on your clit once more before he brought his head up to you, connecting your lips passionately.

"could noah ever make you come like that? huh? could he make you feel so good you could barely even think?" he grabbed your chin in his hands, holding it in place to look at him as you shook your head the best you could. "no?"

"mm-mm," you tried to shake your head 'no' once more.

"did you think of him while i was going down on you? were you thinking about how he fucked that little tramp?" he asked harshly, you shook your head 'no' again. "oh, what were you thinking, princess?" he finally released your face so you could speak.

"ab-about how well you know my body. about how, how good you looked between my legs. about how much i love you," you replied quickly, knowing exactly what to say.

"right answer," he connected your lips once more. "what do you want, love?" he asked, peppering soft kisses along your jaw where his hands once held your throat firmly.

"you. i-i want you in-inside me," you swallowed, your hand finding his and pulling it up to your lips to press a kiss to it, then another, then another, then another. "please, doctor?" you used your best puppy dog eyes you knew he couldn't resist.

"god, call me that again," he rasped lowly.

"what... doctor?" you took his hand and started sucking on his fingers, letting them slip in and out slowly and then moving onto the next.

"fuck, yes," he growled as he pressed another kiss to your lips before lining himself up at your center. "are you sure, princess?" he traced your jaw with the fingers you were previously sucking on.

"yes, sir," you nodded. "i'm sure."

you felt him slowly push inside of you slowly to allow you to adjust to his size. you had your suspicions of how big he was, but feeling him inside of you made it all much more real.

"fuck, you're so tight," he moaned into your ear quietly as he slowly pulled back out, going in just as slow.

"sp-spence-"

"wrong," he slapped your face gently, a whimper leaving your lips before he grasped your face to make you look him in the eyes.

"doc-doctor," you corrected yourself.

"good girl," he said, feeling your pussy clench from the praise. "oh you like that?" he felt it again. "maybe you just like hearing me talk, yea?" his pace began picking up slowly. "you like hearing how this pussy makes me feel? how tight... and warm... and wet it is?"

"u--uh huh," you nodded your head the best you could as he began thrusting much more rapid, hitting that special spot inside of you with each movement.

"it seems like you haven't felt this good in a long time huh? haven't had your pussy pounded like this in a while?" he asked as he was catching his breath.

"ne-never, doctor," you confirmed, hands reaching around his back and dragging your nails down, surely leaving scratch marks all down them.

"fuck," he growled. "noah never made you feel this good princess? never made you forget how to speak in sentences? never knew how to get you going like this?"

"n-no, no! never! god, never!" you cried as you pulled his body even closer to you. "i-i'm close, please!"

"you wanna come all over my dick, yea? you want to show me how much your pussy loves it when a real man fucks it?"

that was it to let that spring burst inside of you, parts flying everywhere. you cried his name as he worked you through your orgasm, holding onto his shoulders and hair to keep you grounded.

"cum inside me, please," you begged. "fi-fill me up."

"fuck, whatever you want, princess," he kept pounding into you at a rapid pace. "god, i'm gonna come inside you, and send you back to that scumbag of a boyfriend so he can see that you're mine now. so he can see what happens when his girlfriend is mistreated and fucked by someone who knows what they're doing, yea?"

"yea, yea!" you whined, nails digging back into his skin as he released his load into you, thrusting it gently back inside after.

"god, i love you so much," he moaned into your ear, pressing a kiss to your cheek by your ear.

"i love you," you replied, stroking his hair to help him come down, him still inside of you. he began thrusting inside of you once again.

"don't want any of it to spill out before you get to him," he felt you clench around him one more time. "you're very responsive, princess. i like that about you."

"it-it's just you, spence. it's always been you," you pulled him in for another kiss.

this one was full of passion but not the kind of eagerness. it was full of desire and longing, pent up emotions flowing out into one another fluidly.

"now let me go see my soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend," you huffed as he pulled out of you, wincing from the overstimulation. "i'll see you later?"

"i'll see you later," he pressed a kiss to your forehead before helping you gather your clothes.

driving back to his apartment, you felt rather giddy with yourself. should you have felt bad? absolutely not. he's a manipulative asshole who's used you for sex on numerous occasions, so he deserved the bittersweet irony of what was coming to him.

*get it, coming to him? lol i'm sorry i had to :)*

you knocked on the door softly, greeted by a rather chipper noah who grabbed your face as soon as he saw you, connecting your lips. his kiss was nothing like spencer's. his lips weren't as soft and tentative. they weren't plump and round, they were harsh and rough and unpleasant.

he quickly led you to the bedroom, not to your surprise. he sat down on the bed, you straddled his hips, acting as if it were spencer instead - which was pretty hard to do after knowing what he was like in the sack.

you felt his boner through his pants quickly after you got on top of him. then when he flipped you over and pulled your pants and underwear down, he was met with a surprise.

"someone's excited to see me," he chuckled before licking a thick stripe from your slit to clit, very aggressive to where it almost hurt to have the pressure. "god you taste so good, doll."

he continued at this for a while, inserting his tongue to your hole very once in a while and licking up yours and spencer's arousal with it. you faked your moans and whimpers as his ministrations became more eager, not really getting you anywhere.

after he was finished with your turn - no, he didn't even make you cum - he laid back on the bed as if he were waiting for you to get on top of him again.

"actually," you stood up from the bed, pulling up your clothes with you. "i'm done with this. we're over."

you watched his face as he took in the information just released to him. it changed from surprised and shocked, to confused, to disgusted, to angry and frustrated.

"what the fuck?" he sat up from the bed, a disgruntled look on his face. "you wait until after you cum to tell me this?" he walked over to you, arms flailing in the air.

"yea. i did. and by the way, i didn't cum," you informed him. "that's something you've never really been good at making me do. although i'm not sure how you've been able to convince me to do anything with the way you treat me."

"what do you mean? i'm a good gu-"

"shut up for one second, please," you rolled your eyes, running your hand through your hair. "i know you've cheated on me numerable times. i stayed because i thought that maybe there was a reason, but i've come to realize that i was just... settling with you," you shrugged.

"you've treated me like crap since this 'relationship' started and i'm tired of it. i know someone who not only treats me with respect and kindness, but can also actually make me cum. shocker," you chuckled.

"who is this asshole? what the hell-"

"i wasn't finished, sweetie," you spat out viciously. "he's not an asshole. you're the asshole. you're the one that's getting dumped. so this is goodbye," you turned around to walk out of his room before leaving him with one more thought. "how did his cum taste with mine?" you tilted your head innocently, smiling at his shocked face as he realized what you meant before walking out.

and you were never more glad that you didn't have to go back to him anymore.

taglist:

@muffin-cup​ @greenprisca​ @averyhotchner​ 

[blisschi]

Zhongli, Diluc, Kaeya, and Xiao x GN! Reader where the boys have a really bad nightmare and they wake up and panic/cry when the reader isn’t there next to them? (They’re really just in another room) comfort fluff always gets me :D

I'm not sure if that's exactly what you wanted,, but I really hope you like it! For some reason.. this work actually took a while to write.. (つω`｡)

🌷Next to you🌷

Pairings: Zhongli/Diluc/Kaeya/Xiao x GN! Reader

Warnings: None.. I think? Just slight angst!

Notes: I'm sorry! This turned to be a lot angstier than I wanted it to be.. Have a good read though! (*´▽`*)

•Zhongli•

You were just about to finish your work and join your sleeping partner in another room when you heard someone opening the door.

You turned your head towards the sound, noticing your lover standing in the doorframe, his eyes widened, hand a little shaky.

"Zhongli? Give me a minute, I was just about to finish this and-" You started only to be cut off by him wrapping his arms around you into safe and warm embrace. "Is everything okay..?"

You returned the hug, embracing your partner while he pushed his face into the crook of your neck.

He kept silent for a while, enjoying the feeling of your warmth, your arms wrapped around him. The feeling that you're still there, in front of him.

"Please.. Excuse me.." Zhongli whispered, his voice slightly raspy. "I'm relieved you're still here, dearest.."

You pulled back a little, only to look at his face - Eyes full of worries, looking right into yours curious pupils. Zhongli always looked at you as if he was about to see you for the last time. You smiled softly, lifting one of your hands up to caress his cheek.

"I'm not going anywhere, love.." You whispered, watching as your partner leaned into your touch, his eyes closing as a relieved sigh left his mouth. "And I never will, Zhongli."

He returned the smile as you placed a quick kiss on top of his nose.

"I love you.."

•Diluc•

It's been a pretty rough week for Diluc and today was finally the day he could get some rest. Unfortunately, he doesn't find peace even in the dream world.

You were downstairs at the moment, sitting near the fireplace and enjoying the warmth that wrapped around you in the pleasing embrace. Lately the weather seemed to be a little too cold for your liking. - That's why you often decided to just sit in front of the flames before going to bed.

Diluc, on the other side, missed the warmth of your body right next to his. Perhaps that was the reason of his nightmares? Even though he owns a pyro vision, his heart doesn't feel any heat when not around you.

You sighed quietly, closing your eyes as you got up from the couch, ready to join your lover upstairs in the bedroom.

As fast as you entered the room though, you noticed your partner sitting on the bed, head lowered and face burried into his hands.

"Diluc..?" You whispered, not expecting your lover to be awake by the time you joined him in the bedroom. "Is everything okay? Are you feeling sick?"

You walked up to him quickly, sitting down next to him and putting a hand on his shoulder. You watched as he turns his head towards you slowly, your gaze meeting his. You could see the fear in his eyes, but what could that he's so scared of be?

"I can't lose you too.." He stated, his voice shaky as his mind went back to the painful memories from the past. You wrapped you arms around him instantly and sighed quietly, feeling how cold his body against yours is.

"Luc.." You whispered into his ear, your voice quiet and comforting as you rubbed his back softly, trying to help him relax. "I promise.. You're not going to lose anything anymore.."

He sighed at the nickname you used, even though it reminded him of not so pleasant childhood memories, from your lips it sounded unusually angelic. As any word you've ever spoken to him.

"Don't make promises you can't uphold."

You smiled softly, placing a kiss against his forehead.

"I'm only making promises I'm sure to keep.."

Diluc returned the smile, lifting one of his hands up to push some stubborn strands of hair behind your ear. He caressed your cheek gently, pressing his forehead against yours.

"I'll protect you then, along with this promise."

•Kaeya•

Kaeya has been overworking himself lately. Taking naps in his office became something normal, along with not taking breaks at all. He'd often stay in his office for night, only coming back home early in the morning to instantly plop down on the couch and pass out.

You wanted to help your partner with all you had, that's why sometimes you decided to visit him in his office, bringing something to eat. It's been a while since you started dating the cavalry captain, that's why guards had no doubt if to let you into the quarters or not.

You opened the door to Kaeya's office, a smile on your face as you entered the room.

"Sorry for such late visit, I hope you don't mi-" You instantly covered your mouth as you noticed that your lover was currently 'busy' taking a nap. You smiled lightly and walked up to his desk, putting a bag with fresh buns down next to the paperwork. Your hand wandered to the top of his head, wanting to stroke his hair, but as fast as you touched him, Kaeya jolted up, his eyes widened.

You took your hand away quickly, your body frozen.

"O-oh my.. I'm s-so sorry Kaeya! I didn't want to wake you up!" You apologized quickly, lifting your hands up in defense as he looked at you, his gaze following your even movement.

He took a shaky breath and closed his eyes after a while, putting a hand to his forehead. Perhaps overworking himself started affecting his dreams.. Kaeya didn't even think that was possible.

Cavalry captain wrapped one of his arms around your waist and pulled you onto his lap, embracing you quickly. Kaeya pushed his face into the crook of your neck, taking a deep breath of your calming scent as he whispered.

"For getting me out of there.. ..thank you.."

The sentence left you quite confused, but you didn't bother to ask about anything. You gently wrapped your arms around the male, returning the warmth to the other.

"Thank you.." He repeated quietly, painting a smile on your face as you brushed his cheek with your lips, placing a kiss onto his skin. His grip around you tightened, as if that was the last physical contact you're going to share.

"For getting me out of this nightmare.."

•Xiao•

It wasn't rare for Xiao to have nightmares. In fact, it was pretty common. His past didn't seem to let go of him so soon, his karma visiting him everyday in the dream world.

But he could bear with it, because you were next to him. You were there to calm him down, to cheer him up and understand his overwhelming fear. He was scared of losing everything he loves. He was scared of losing you.

One night he woke up from the nightmare, the same he dreamt about every night. You were just about to go to sleep, changing clothes in the room next door.

Xiao jolted up, turning his head to the side, only to notice that you're not laying next to him. He knew that it was nightmare, that you were safe and sound, yet something inside him kept telling him to check on you.

What if something happened? You're not going to make the same mistakes, are you?

He shoot out of the bed, lifting one of his hands up to his face to wipe a single tear rolling down his cheek. Xiao rushed to the other room, sighing in relief as fast as he noticed you.

"Xiao? I was just about to join you-" You turned towards him, taking a step back as he started walking towards you. - His expression hurt, steps fast. You widened your eyes when your partner hugged you, pushing his face into your shoulder. You could feel his tears against your skin."X-xiao?"

"Don't you dare leave me.." He whispered, his embrace tightening at the thought of having to let you go. You smiled softly, wrapping your arms around him as well. You closed your eyes, one of your hands rubbing small circles onto his back, as the other hand stroked his hair calmingly.

"I love you.. I'm sorry.."

For not being there when you woke up.

I'm sorry..

For having to leave one day.

[nighttimewrighter]

Perfectly Imperfect

Summary: How would our dear Arthur react to the reader coming home totally wrecked because she got herself into a fight? For once it isn´t Arthur who is utterly reckless but his beloved kind of lunatic wife. Maybe other people think they're crazy and don´t fit into society standards. But who cares about that when you got your perfectly imperfect partner at your side? Just a bit of Arthur fluff, we wouldn´t have it any other way now, would we?🤭

Warnings: English isn´t my native language. This hasn´t been proofread because it is currently nearly midnight and I got an exam tomorrow thooooo... Enjoy my friend 🥰❤

MY SHELBY BOYS MASTERLIST

It had been awfully quiet as Arthur had gotten home, way too quiet for his liking!

But he had to deal with it. Slowly taking a slice of bread into his hand he began to chew on it. Why wasn´t (Y/N) already home? She knew how bad he was at cooking! Could have something have happened to her?

Restless he looked out of the window. Not a single soul in sight. The sun had already begun to set when he got home but now it was absolutely pitch black outside.

He slowly sat down, facing the door, trying to distract himself by reading the newspaper he had already read this morning.

Normally they would sit down at the dinner table by now, slowly eating dinner and talking about their day… Never had (Y/N) ever missed getting home on time! Not in all those years they had been together.

But Arthur knew how reckless she could be, normally (Y/N) was the voice of reason in their relationship. But then again compared to him that wasn´t all too hard.

So (Y/N) was a little firecracker herself, always getting herself in trouble and way too stubborn to let anyone or anything get her off her track. Much to the annoyance of the rest of the Shelby family who had hoped that Arthurs wife would bring him back down a little...But the mess they had caused at their own wedding had shattered their hopes rather violently pretty quickly.

Arthur had to grin at the thought of their wedding and had managed to get his thoughts somewhere else when suddenly the front door flung open.

Startled Arthur sprung up, nearly taking the whole chair down with him trying to grab the nearest thing that could help defend himself against the attacker...Only to realise that the unrecognisable figure in the doorframe was actually (Y/N).

“(Y/N)!?” Still a little bit shocked, Arthur let go of the fucking frying pan in his hands and looked up at the figure still kind of cowering in the open doorframe.

“In the fucking flesh!” Moaned (Y/N) into his direction before finally kind of stumbling into their house, closing the door behind her.

Arthur sighed in relief, that was only short-lived. What the hell had happened to her?! A bloody nose, an eye that was beginning to bruise, a cracked lip and a very strange posture… all in all, she was an utter mess!

“Who the fuck did you run into?”

Kind of annoyed at him (Y/N) only hung her coat over one of the chairs before flinging herself down on it.

“Just some douche I have pissed off last week…”

Trying to make it sound like not that big of a deal, she tugged some loose hair strand behind her ear.

Her beautiful arranged Hairstyle was completely torn apart anyways.

Sighing again Arthur slowly approached her, putting a hand on her shoulder, only to hear her wince and have her turn away from him.

“That´s fucking dangerous! Why didn´t you tell me about that!? I was fucking shitting me pants over here waiting for you to finally come home! God knows what else could have happened to you!?”

He exclaimed while flinging his arms around in the air trying to get his point across, which caused (Y/N)to only roll her eyes.

“Oh don´t bother Arthur! It´s not the only time that ever happened!”

“Bad enough! I want fucking names...gonna pay them a visit meself” Still angered he glared at her waiting for the perfect excuse he knew she didn´t had. Or had she?

“....You see how that feels Arthur?” Sighing defeated she let her head rest on her arms looking him in his eyes, voice cracking a bit. “Coming home to nothing but silence? Not knowing where the fuck you are? Not knowing what the fuck has happened to you!? Only for you to march in here covered in blood and cuts and bruises only to play it down!? Why should I be any different!?”

Now it was Arthurs turn to sigh while walking over to the sink, getting a bowl of freshwater prepared to clean her up. just like she had done for him so many times before.

“Because I love you...It´s different because I fucking love you (Y/N) I can´t let anyone hurt you! I can´t stand seeing you like this.” His voice got quieter at every word before he finally turned back around, looking her in the eye while wringing his little towel out, pressing it to her cracked lip.

“I love you too Arthur. It hurts me just as much when you are hurt.” Looking into his eyes she smiled a bit, even tho it hurt every fucking muscle in her face, especially the wound on her lip.

Arthur had to blush a little at that which he tried to hide of course, but the reddening of his ears was impossible for (Y/N) not to notice. She giggled a bit, before putting her bloodied hand on his cheek.

“Love we both know this won´t be the last time, for neither of us, don´t we?” Slightly grinning at her, he set the towel down, pressing his forehead carefully against hers.

“Wouldn´t want it any other way darling, I wouldn´t have married an absolute lunatic if I had any other plans. I just want you to be a bit more careful.”

“So do I, so do I” Falling back into a fit of laughter, Arthur and (Y/N) managed to clean her up, before getting ready for bed.

They had known what they would get themselves into when getting married to each other. The worlds biggest buffoons.

Smiling to herself (Y/N) brushed her hair, looking at her reflection. After all, fighting was how they met.

Any other husband would have already divorced her by now.

But Arthur was different.

He understood her thought process, her desire for ridiculous messes and her somewhat childish and reckless demeanour. They were really made for each other.

Maybe not a match made in heaven, but even the Shelbyclan had to admit, to their great annoyance, that the two complemented each other perfectly.

And dear Arthur had never been happier before, so they were more accepting of their love than ever, even if that meant that family business wasn't necessarily any easier. But honestly, who of the other Shelbys was easy?

After all, people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

Yawning she laid down beside her imperfect perfect husband, slowly and carefully cuddling up to him, getting ready to drift off into dreamland, when suddenly a very awake voice rung through to her ear.

“You still haven’t given me any names, Darling.”

[picktheprick]

high lord primps

Hi everyone :))) This is my first post on here... I write alot on wp but I feel like it's kinda gone dead so I've decided to try something different. Hope you enjoy x

-

Rhys and Feyre go out to have some well-deserved time together. Plus some bonus Nyx fluff because I'm obsessed with him :)

***

(Feyre POV)

"Nyx, honey. Slow down a little there please. You've just had your dinner and you don't want to get an upset stomach," I pleaded gently with my five year old who was currently zooming around the room in excitement. Just watching him was causing my head to spin and a spiking feeling of anxiety in my chest as he very narrowly avoided running straight into every piece of furniture.

In general it had been a long day and all I was craving was a few precious hours alone with my mate. Both of our schedules had been filled to the point of exhaustion recently, what with running the court and raising Nyx, and some.

Tonight couldn't have come any sooner. Rhys had booked us a reservation at Sevenda's, and despite feeling the begining of a throbbing headache I was looking forward to it.

Nyx stumbled to a stop in front of where I was sitting, panting heavily as he gripped onto my legs to steady himself. His hair was sticking in all directions and his chubby cheeks were flushed pink.

"Momma, I'm fine," he argued.

"For now you are," I murmured, squeezing his cheeks affectionately.

Nyx squirmed but I knew he loved the attention. Like father like son.

I sighed, casting another glance to the ticking clock on the wall. In most cases it was normally the female who spent longer getting ready. But not in our case.

Rhys.

Almost done, darling.

I'm one heartbeat away from coming up there and dragging you out of the house myself.

All I received in return was an amused chuckle and nothing more.

"Nyx, love," I called.

A few moments later my son hurtled back into the room.

"Yeah, Momma?"

"Could you do me a huge favour please and check on Dada?"

"Sure," he barely got out before sprinting away again.

I couldn't help but smile at his chaotic energy. I only hoped that he would always be so happy and bubbly and full of life.

Not two minutes later, Nyx was back. But now he was wearing a mischievous grin.

"Wanna know why Dada's taking so long to get ready?" he asked.

I raised a brow in question.

"He's totally checking himself out," he giggled.

I joined him in his laughter. Now this was motive enough for me to get up. Teasing my mate was always worth the effort.

I dropped a kiss to Nyx's head. "Thanks, baby. I'll be down in a second."

I climbed the stairs and rounded the corner to our bedroom. Inside, the door to the bathroom was ajar and I could hear the unmistakable sound of Rhys humming.

When I reached the door, Rhys came into view standing at the sink before the large mirror. He wore his shirt but he hadn't even buttoned it yet, and of all things he was fussing around with his hair.

I leaned against the wall and watched with a small smile on my face as Rhys battled with a single strand of hair that kept falling in his face. With each failed attempt at getting the piece of hair to stay off of his forehead, he became increasingly annoyed. The humming stopped.

"Fucking piece of hair," he muttered.

I snorted at the sight.

Rhys's head shot to me.

"Feyre darling," he smiled in greeting. "You look beautiful."

I blushed. "Thanks. Prick."

I had made a reasonable effort to look nice. I did my hair and makeup, and put on a pretty dress and heels. And still I was left waiting.

"And what are you doing?" I pressed.

Rhys sighed in defeat. "Attempting to fix my hair."

I hid my smile. "That's what you've been doing this whole time?"

"Yes," he replied sheepishly.

I pushed off the doorway and went to him. "Let me."

After some minutes of trying, I was ready to give up.

"You're right," I said, tugging softly at my mate's hair. "This piece of hair is stubborn as hell. Just like you."

Rhys feigned hurt but I caught the smile pulling on his lips. "Ouch."

"You deserve it," I quipped, beginning to button up his shirt. "Do you know how long I've been waiting for you?"

"Sorry honey. But when you look like you do, I need to at least make an effort," he replied smoothly.

I pushed his chest. "Flirt."

Rhys let out a laugh. "By the way, I am perfectly capable of buttoning up my own shirt," he added.

"Obviously," I said, working on the last button. "But I like doing it for you."

When I was finished I took a slight step back and took my mate in.

His shirt was dark and perfectly cut to his body so that you could see every ridge and muscle. Maybe even a little too tight. It was half-sleeved. Rhys never wore anything other than full-sleeved shirts. Rarely.

"I like your hair as it is. I think it's cute," I said. "It reminds me of Superman."

Rhys scoffed. "I'm miles hotter than Superman."

"That's debatable."

Rhys closed the gap between us and lightly gripped my chin, but his fingers were firm enough on my skin to make my heart race. He raised a brow, violet eyes boring into mine. "Oh yeah?"

"Why? Are you jealous?" I teased.

"No shit," he murmured, pulling me closer to him.

"We should leave," I said softly, even as my heart begged to reason otherwise. "We're already late."

Rhys smirked smugly, knowing exactly the effect he had on me. Even after all this time.

"If you say so darling." He pressed a chaste kiss to my lips and then released me, sauntering out of the room.

I took a second to compose myself before following him out.

When I got downstairs, Nyx wasn't the only one being hyper anymore. Cassian had arrived and was chasing after him, the two yelling and laughing loudly. My heart filled with the sound of my son's laughter, and to see how much love Cassian held for him.

Nyx didn't seem to notice Rhys and I in the room until he barrelled right into Rhys's legs.

Rhys immediately steadied him, gripping his shoulders. "Woah. Slow down, buddy. Slow down."

"Done checking yourself out, Dada?" Nyx grinned toothily.

Cassian and I both snorted at the same time. Rhys narrowed his eyes down at Nyx, keeping his firm hold on him.

"You know.." he mused. "You're becoming a little too cheeky, bud."

He then proceeded to tickle the life out of Nyx, who fell to the floor in a squealing, squirming heap.

I smiled softly at the sight. It was such a simple, mundane moment. And yet it meant everything to me.

My boys.

Rhys stopped his tickling finally once Nyx had calmed down and he stood back, brushing himself down.

His violet eyes met mine. "Shall we go?"

"Yes, let's."

I went to gather Nyx in a tight hug. "Bye, baby. I love you. Have fun with Uncle Cass."

"But not too much fun," Rhys chided lightly.

I waved him off in reply.

Nyx burrowed his small head against my shoulder. "You look so pretty, Momma," he said.

"Aw. Thanks, honey." I kissed his forehead tenderly.

Rhys rolled his eyes at us. "She was mine first."

Cassian shoved him. "Jealous prick. Get out of here, you two. We'll be just fine. Right, Nyx?"

Nyx let go of me. "Sure, Uncle Cass," he grinned mischievously.

I couldn't decipher the look the two shared, but I knew that it meant trouble if anything. Good thing I wouldn't be present to witness their shenanigans. It was probably for the best.

"See you later," I called as Rhys took my hand and we left.

"Bye!" The two said in perfect unison.

"I really hope that they don't burn our house down," I murmured.

Rhys chuckled, squeezing my hand. "I wouldn't bet on it."

***

[loomis-maxima]

𝘵𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥

a/n :  this is... pure filth and i’m not even sorry, im also sleep deprived so if it sucks, my bad. word count : 4k requested : yes and no warnings :  18+ only/ mentions of drugs/threesome/unprotected sex/name calling yk.. all the good stuff. [ty to @anongirl007 for brainstorming shit w me]

It was known that Chishiya and Niragi were both men that liked getting what they wanted, and they both knew exactly how to get it. The problem with that is they’re both so similar, but so different. Niragi would use his placement in the Militans and his twisted love for inflicting fear, pain and murder on anyone that would get in his way or try and stop him from having what he truely desired. _______________ Almost nothing was worse than the feeling of entering a game that was literally based on luck. Even with such a simple task to pick between 3 pills. One, that will kill you the second you take it. The other two.. Not as bad. Separated from your game partners, you stared down at three simple pills on top of a simple desk. That’s all that was in the room, besides the door to get out. You assumed Niragi and Chishiya’s rooms looked similar. The thoughts of taking the wrong pill and having your life ended, sent fear through your whole body, but there was a feeling of adrenaline that rushed through you too. Maybe that explained the current.. situation.. That you had gotten yourself into with Niragi, basically signing yourself up to be used by him whenever he felt like it, but also all while wanting some part of Chishiya. If Niragi knew that his toy wanted someone other than him, he would be rabid, let alone that someone being the one Niragi hated the most… he wouldn’t hesitate to make you regret even having the thought of another man. Don’t get it mixed up, there was only one reason why he wanted you, and it definitely wasn’t in a romantic way, to him, you’re just a hole he could have anytime, any place. Which was fine for you.. But you couldn’t help but shake the want for Chishiya. Focusing your thoughts back on the objective at hand, you looked closely at the small pills before you. No matter how hard you thought, you couldn’t figure this out. Checking the time on the phone that was provided you saw that you had one minute left to make a decision. You didn’t even want to think about what would happen if you ran out of time. Unlike Chishiya and Niragi, you didn’t observe the entrance to the separate rooms close enough to have figured this out. What you managed to miss was along the long hallway, there were three smaller hallways in front of them, all leading  to three different rooms. They both picked up the repeating numbers unlike you, leaving you to your game of luck.  With the sound of your phone alerting you that you had 30 seconds left to complete the game,  you could have swore you felt a bead of sweat roll down your forehead. Your heart pounded in your ears as hurriedly picked up the second pill,  the ten second countdown began. Without time to think you threw the pill into your mouth and swallowed it just before the countdown hit one. You closed your eyes tight,  waiting for something to happen. Nothing. ‘’I passed’’ you said to yourself quietly, opening your eyes to look around the room. The door in front of you that was once sealed shut was opening right before your eyes.  The feeling of relief quickly ran through your body as you exited the room before walking down another long white hallway to another door, leading you back out to the world. ________________________________ Unlike what you thought, the pill you ended up taking wasn’t the pill that had no side effects.. Instead, shortly after arriving at the Beach, you felt red hot all over your body,  your hands were clammy and there was a weird feeling in the pit of your stomach that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. You hoped Kuina couldn’t tell there was something up with you, especially not knowing what it was yourself. You could thank the blue light that's shining from the pool for slightly blocking out how red your face was. As you both  discussed the different games each of you had taken part in, you caught a glimpse of familiar long, dyed grey hair passing through the crowd. Once you could distinctly see Chishiya’s face you instantly felt that feeling in your stomach almost multiply. As he approached you and Kuina, he could quickly tell that something was up with you. Chishiya made note of the flush in your cheeks unlike everyone else, the way a couple of strands of your hair stuck to your forehead because of the heat that had taken over your whole body, the fact your pupils had largened, or the way your lips were slightly parted, almost as if you were lost for breath.. But not to the extent that  it was noticeable, except for Chishiya. He had studied every single detail on your face when you had first joined the Beach. Never admitting it though, deep down he knew how he felt about you, never to mention it or even hint at the idea. Chishiya knew that would make him look weak, and that was something he couldn’t have happen. Chishiya stood beside Kuina, his hood up but his head slightly back with an amused smirk lightly on his face. He raised an eyebrow at you, ‘’So what pill did you pick y/n?’’ he asked, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets. His voice caused your ear tips to burn as you felt a sudden warmth between your legs.. Fuck. Trying to distract yourself from the feeling, that almost became painful, you racked your brain to remember what number you had chosen. ‘’Uh.. 2, I think, why?’’ you asked,  trying to keep your voice steady, not even believing your own voice. It looked as if Chishiya slightly chuckled at your answer, for a moment you wondered if he knew, but how would he?  Chishiya just shrugged a little before speaking. ‘’No reason, just curious’’ he lied right to your face, all while figuring out how to use this to his advantage. He knew had taken the middle pill just from one look at you, but he also knew exactly what was going to happen. Of course with just your luck, you had picked the one that just happened to be narcotics, crushed up and put into an empty pill capsule to match the appearance of the other too. You didn’t notice Kuina disappearing to join Arisu, until you noticed Chishiya take a step a little closer to you.  You also didn’t notice the eye contact he had made with Niragi across the pool, and that was the first step to his idea, this would’ve been the best advantage he could ever have had. ‘’You should really be careful with the pill you took’’ he said smirking slightly, intentionally trying to catch Niragi’s attention and have him come over. You didn’t know what to say, words being ripped from your brain as his slightly rough voice sent a feeling of a deep need to be fucked as you felt even more warmth leak from between your legs. He took your silence as his go ahead to continue speaking, ‘’you really shouldn’t be out here when the drugs fully take over if you think this is bad right now’’ What he said next was something you never would have thought of him saying this, ‘’you should go to your room, I’ll come after and help you’’ he spoke with a wink.  It was the most uncharacteristic for him- At least towards you. You took no convincing as you knew exactly what he meant, also not giving a shit about what would happen if and when Niragi found out. The almost pure animalistic feeling of lust ran over you. You didn’t care what would happen, you needed to be filled and it was gonna happen one way or another. ‘’Don’t take too long.’’ you said while nodding, then walking off back into the large building Just as Chishiya hoped, once you had retreated back inside to wait for him, Niragi had approached him. The wink that he had given to Niragi’s toy, was one step too far. Before Niragi could even open his mouth, Chishiya spoke. ‘’Before you start with your brainless insults and threats, you should know that in the game, you clearly didn’t know the effects of the pills.’’ he smirked, not fearing Niragi was always a benefit, especially when Chishiya could once show off his superiority and intellect. The two were rivals, both thinking that they were better than the other and would go to any lengths to prove it. But this time Niragi didn’t speak back as fast as usual, but the angry expression still resonated on his face, his tongue in his cheek, his pierced eyebrow raised while staring down the shorter man. With Niragi’s instinct he pressed the tip of his rifle right to Chishiya’s chest, ‘’well tell me, or I’ll blow your heart out in front of everyone here.’’ Niragi spat into his face, he hated how Chishiya could have the balls to even think of speaking back to him, the fact he didn’t fear him only intensified the hate for the intellectual grey haired man. Calling Niragi’s bluff, he let out a little scoff of air with a slight grin on his face as he spoke, ‘’You wouldn’t. Here’s why; if you kill me, you’ll never know. So unless you give me what I want, I won’t tell you.’’ he said, still standing strong even with the rifle pressed right against him. Niragi frowned right at him, he knew he was right. Niragi scoffed, his stubbornness working against him when he needed to know what Chishiya knew. After a few moments of silence, Niragi took the firearm from his chest. Chishiya knew this was risky, but he knew exactly how it would play out. Another competition between them. ‘’And what the fuck do you want?’’ Niragi said, his voice almost like a knife as the words came from his mouth. ‘’Considering I know you won’t let me have was I really want, I’ll compromise.’’ Chishiya spoke, standing up straighter and crossing his arms over his chest. Playing his cards right, he could get Niragi to agree before verbally agreeing. ‘’y/n took the wrong pill. Intense narcotics and assuming you right now, you took the right pill like me. The bad, or good thing about the drugs, is she’s going to be chasing a release that she won't be able to satisfy herself of.’’ He took a breath to try and let Niragi figure out what he means, except he didn’t. With another little chuckle under his breath Chishiya spoke out again. ‘’It means someone else has to do it. And knowing you wouldn’t let anyone fuck her, we’re both going to do it. Just another thing I’ll prove better than you at.’’ Chishiya knew the last comment would get under Niragi’s skin. With a slight nod of Niragi’s head and him accepting the challenge, it was set. ‘’Don’t be disappointed when you realise I’m the only one that can make her scream, Chishiya.’’ With a slight game plan of how they would go about this, the two rivals headed to your room. Niragi hung back a bit after knowing you were waiting for Chishiya. The thought of his property letting someone else have you made his blood boil, he’d make sure you knew it too. Ahead of him, Chishiya walked to your room and let himself in. But the sight that he had been greeted with almost knocked the wind out of his chest. You, lying naked on your bed, your skin almost looking hot as you had your head back with one hand holding your hair back from your face. Your eyes were shut as your other hand was roughly rubbing your clit, your fingers occasionally dipping into your entrance causing you to leave a visibly wet patch underneath you. The pleasure you were giving yourself was so needed that you weren’t aware of Chishiya entering and staring at you like you were his last meal. It was when you felt weight dip at the end of the bed and a hand running up your leg that you realised you weren’t alone. Your throat tightened and you removed your hand once you opened your eyes to see Chishiya moving his hand up to your core.  ‘’You really couldn’t wait huh?’’ he said, his fingers travelling up to where you needed him. You shook your head desperately, feeling your wetness dripping as you clenched pathetically around nothing. Chishiya smirked, looking down at your pussy, slowly dragging the tips of his fingers over your clit teasingly. The action made you almost cry out in need. ‘’Look at you.. So desperate.’’ you heard as you felt two of his fingers pushing into you before pulling them out and putting them into his mouth just as you made eye contact with him, sucking the wetness from you off them. Standing up he quickly pulled his clothing off. While pulling you to him and flipping you over onto your hands and knees, you facing the door. For reasons you wouldn’t know yet. Feeling you press yourself against him, Chishiya smirked to himself. ‘’You’re really desperate for it, aren’t you?’’ he said, running his tip along your folds, His words only pulling a whine and a nod from you, not understanding why he was dragging it out so long. You felt him lean over you to speak into your ear, his breath was harsh on the sensitive skin by your neck. ‘’As pretty as you are when you’re a mess, I won’t drag it out anymore, because I’ve waited too long to have this cunt all to myself.’’ . On the last word you felt his thick length slowly pushing into you, throwing his head back at the feeling of you around him. The pace he was going at was enough to break you fully. The feeling of him filling you as much as possible had you crying for more. In a desperate attempt to get some friction, you started grinding back against him causing his slightly curved dick to hit the right spot inside you, but slowly in and out. ‘’Chishiya please’’ you cried, burying your head into the sheets of the bed to muffle the whimpers that he was dragging out of you. He slowly started picking up the pace, each time hitting even harder and harder against you. Chishiya pulled your head back by your hair, your eyes rolling to the back of your head from the red hot feeling on your scalp that he had you in a rough grip by. ‘’Oh no y/n, you’re to call me Sir. Got it?’’ he groaned while fucking into you harder. Tears stung at your eyes, nodding as much as you could as he still controlled your head. ‘’Yes s-sir’’ As he was holding your head back and pounding into you, you opened your eyes and your heart almost stopped. Your eyes fell upon Niragi, standing right at the door leaning against it with his arms folded over his chest and he looked pissed.  The awkward part being is having locked eyes with him as Chishiya fucked you through your first orgasm, a scream being ripped from your throat from the feeling of finally getting release, but you needed more. Noticing you looking back at him he pushed himself from the doorway dropping his arms while walking over to you as Chishiya let you fall to your chest, but continuing his steady pace of pounding into you. ‘’Really Chishiya? Sir? What makes you think any part of you is sir?’’ Chishiya’s eyebrows furrowed, his hair disheveled and just snapped back at him. ‘’The part that has y/n crying because of how good I can fuck her.’’ Niragi  crouched in front of you with a look on his face that confused you. He almost looked amused. ‘’I knew it… You’re just a desperate little slut aren’t you?’’ Niragi said as he dragged his thumb along your cheek and across the tears that had run down your face from both pleasure and terror. He dragged his thumb across the tip of his tongue to taste the salty tears with a chuckle. Clinking of metal filled the room, the sound of Niragi’s clothes hitting the floor made you realise the situation you were in so you held yourself up with shaky arms that threatened to give way under you. Niragi smirked down at you as he ran his hand over the top of your head before harshly connecting the same hand to your face right after. Niragi knew exactly what you liked, and so did Chishiya as he felt you clench even harder around him as Niragi had marked your face. Knowing Niragi didn’t like to be kept waiting, you quickly opened your mouth for him to have full access to your throat. Putting his hand back into your hair, Niragi took hold of you as he pushed his cock between your lips, your throat opening up almost immediately, he basically had you trained. ‘’The only thing your mouth is good for is fucking.’’ NIragi said as he started thrusting roughly into your mouth. The timing of both men fucking you made sure you were always full, if Niragi wasn’t down your throat, Chishiya was buried in you, and vice versa. With the roughness of Chishiya’s thrusts caused Niragi’s cock to hit the back of your throat causing you to lose breath each time. They continued like this, using you at each end to their will. Niragi’s dick hit a little harder, causing your throat to close around his long length and choke. The feeling was so euphoric to Niragi he caught the back of your head and shoved your nose flush against his pelvic bone. He let out a mix of a laugh and a moan, almost sounding maniacal as he continued to ram your throat. ‘’That’s it, let daddy fuck your throat. I know you can take it’’ His words made Chishiya chuckle as he pulled out of your entrance, needing to take a break or else he would’ve cum right then. ‘’You’re so predictable Niragi… how pathetic’’ Chishiya’s words made Niragi’s assault on you stop, pulling his cock from your mouth. You coughed and spluttered trying to breathe, a task that was failing due to the burning in your core of feeling empty.  ‘’Please.. Just fuck me’’ you said breathlessly, laying back down with your hand once again travelling between your legs. Chishiya didn’t have to be asked twice, lying back against the bed he rubbed his hand over his now red cock. You didn’t hesitate moving over him and hovering above his length before he grabbed your hips and slammed you down on him. Another scream was pulled from you as he started to fuck up into you,  your hands that were once resting on his chest now by his head, holding onto his hair with your head buried in his neck as he continued to rail you. With moaning in his ear, and a mixture of your breathless voice begging for him to fuck you through another orgasm along with the sound of your broken voice repeatedly saying; ‘’sir’’ he knew he wouldn’t last much longer. You felt Niragi behind you, but didn’t pay much mind as you felt another wave wash over you. ‘’Fuck.. Yes, cum all over my dick’’ Chishiya said, somehow managing to hit a new speed as you cried out, moaning as you felt liquid rush out of you. Chishiya’s moan was sinful, he knew he was close but he couldn’t let himself cum just yet. Just as you felt the pleasure fade, you felt something cold drip on you from behind. A familiar feeling approaching as you felt one of Niragi’s long finger enter your hole that yet stuffed. The feeling wasn’t there for too long before you felt empty again, but soon that changed. Chishiya steadied his hips, realising what his enemy was now doing. You both heard Niragi moan, probably the sexiest moan you had ever heard, as your tight asshole slowly stretched to accommodate his huge dick. The pain of him shoving all of his length into your ass soon passed as Chishiya took the chance to start fucking you again. Your body went limp as both of their thrusts started to sync up, each time both as aggressive as each other. You didn’t even care that they made it into a competition, the feeling of having them both bottoming out of both of your holes was something you never experienced before, and might have just been the best. It wasn’t long after Niragi started to fuck your ass like his life depended on it, that your next orgasm washed over you. This one being so intense you couldn’t stop shaking and it felt like it never would end. More unintelligible mumbles of the words ‘’daddy’’ and ‘’sir’’ couldn’t stop falling out of your mouth. Both men enjoying the fact they broke you down finally, convinced they had literally fucked the brain cells out of you Niragi pulled you back against his chest, sinking back onto his heels so both men could continue chasing their own high. By the twitching of Chishiya’s cock inside you, you knew he was close, so was Niragi. ‘’Fuck, y/n, you’re so fucking tight, I wonder how Niragi feels about me filling his little toy up’’ Chishiya said breathlessly, causing Niragi to animalisticly growl but not speaking due to being so close to spilling himself inside you. The grey haired man’s hands reached up to grab both of your breasts, pinching your nipples as one of Niragi’s hands coming down to your front before pinching your clit a couple of times. The sounds you were making almost made both men cum on the spot. You could see the desperation on Chishiya’s face, and hear the desperation in Niragi. ‘’My little slut ready? You gonna cum?’’ Niragi moaned into your ear, one hand still rubbing your clit desperately all while biting down on your ear, ‘’daddy’s gonna fill that ass so good’’ and thats all it took. Both men sensing you clench around them, they finally were reaching their own release. Niragi dropped you on your chest on top of Chishiya before leaning over you, his hand holding himself up above you and Chishiya. One of your hands twisting into Chishiya’s hair, the other being twisted into Niragi’s hair behind you. The pleasure from the last orgasm was so intense, you could feel yourself getting light headed, you tugged on both mens hair while you buried your face into Chishiya’s neck, his hot skin becoming stained with your tears, but in a good way. Chishiya guided one of his hand to the back of your head, almost a sweet gesture, except his thrusts faltered along with Niragi’s as they both finally peaked, both of them sinfully moaning and swearing under their breaths and both finally releasing inside of you. You thought you couldn’t cum anymore at this point, but the filthy feeling of having both men fuck their cum into both your holes sent you into overdrive, your final orgasm finally rushing through you, Niragi could tell and pulled you up slightly so he could rub your clit with lightning speed causing you to squirt everywhere. As you all rode your orgasms out, Niragi was the first to pull himself from you in time to watch his cum slowly drip out of the hole he had abused for so long. You lifted yourself, barely, from on top of Chishiya and lying on your back, struggling to breathe. Already getting dressed, Niragi commented to Chishiya, ‘’See? I am better at it than you.’’ Shaking his head but not moving to get up Chishiya spoke out, his own breathing irregular too. ‘’No, I think we might need to have round 2.’’

[merakiaes]

Hate You, Hate You Not - Armitage Hux

Pairing: General Armitage Hux x reader

Requested: By anon. 

Prompts: #1 & #58 from the fluff-list. 

Warnings/notes: (SHOULD I MAKE A PART 2 WITH MORE ROMANCE IN IT?) This ended up being much longer than I planned so it's most likely very boring and dull😭 Might be a bit, if not a lot, out of character since this is kinda my test-run for Hux and Star Wars in general. Getting the characters mannerisms in might take some practice. Not proofread so I apologize in advance for any mistakes. This is the first time ever that I write for Star Wars and the first time in like 5-6 months that I’m writing in general so I’m a bit rusty. Please reblog and leave comments to keep my motivation going and let me know if you’d like to be added to a Star Wars taglist <3 

Wordcount: 5632

Summary: One of Kylo Ren’s many tantrums results in your room being inhabitable for a night, which in turn results in you having to share a room - and bed - with the person you hate the most. 

Everyone who had ever, at some point in their lives, worked alongside Kylo Ren in his quest to bring the Order to power, knew how much of a hassle and inconvenience his temper, or lack thereof, could be.

Not much was needed for him to lose his cool and it happened on a much too frequent basis than what was considered normal for a man in his early 30s, at least according to you.

Of course, however, you couldn’t actually tell him that, nor could you think it, with the risk of him probing your mind.

So every time he came back from a failed mission and completely obliterated your hard work, you could do nothing but bite your tongue, clear your head and repair the damages like you’d done oh, so many times before.

That’s what you got for being one of the highest-ranked engineers of the Order, you supposed.

But on this day you would’ve, for the first time in your life, very much preferred to repair the damages left behind by your tantrum-prone leader like you always did. Because if that punishment had to be compared to the one you were now facing, you would’ve chosen the former without even a shadow of a doubt.

But, unfortunately, that was not an option this time around, as the room that had fallen victim to the sizzling beam of Kylo Ren’s lightsaber was your bedroom.

Well, not originally, of course, but sparks had flown from the totaled control panels and a piece of supposedly fireproof metal scrap had caught on fire before you and the other engineers reached the room for a damage-control, starting of as a small flame and then proceeding to spread like wildfire as fire did, in ways completely unbeknownst to you as, like already mentioned, the place was supposed to be safe from fires.  

The licking flames had managed to melt through several walls before you got to the scene, and one of those walls was the wall to your bedroom.

It was late when it happened, only fifteen minutes before you were supposed to end your shift, and as you were on the verge of having a mental fucking breakdown, you personally requested an audience with Kylo and were granted permission by him after a very carefully-worded explanation to start early in the morning.

But that only took care of one of your problems, and only temporarily at that. Now you were left with the issue of finding other sleeping accommodations since your room was currently not habitable. You had no choice but to ask for another room and, of course, Hux thought that to be the perfect time to crack a sarcastic joke about throwing you into one of the prisoner cells.

You had never, in all your years of being alive, glared so fiercely at another human being as you did then. And in your moment of anger, you accidentally let your walls down and let your thoughts run freely through your head – your annoyance directed at the General, but also at Kylo Ren, being exposed.

You felt it before you saw it – that little prickle in your head, that little sting of your mind being probed – and only a second later, Kylo Ren turned his masked head in your direction, walked up to you with patronizingly slow steps and spoke:

“I think you’ll find that General Hux’s quarters will suffice for the night, until repairs can be done to your own. He has more than enough space for both of you.”

He turned his head to look at the baffled man standing behind him, all of the attitude he had previously been harboring against you now completely melted away.

“Isn’t that right, General?” Kylo continued asking, giving him the time he needed to regain his composure.

The general in question had never been very good at holding his tongue, not even when receiving orders from superiors, and was quick to protest.

As anyone would’ve been able to guess, that didn’t go very well, and you weren't even gonna try hiding the satisfaction you got from seeing Hux be force-choked against a wall for speaking out of turn.

No matter how good both of you were at hiding your spiteful thoughts toward him, Kylo knew how much the two of you hated him. And more than anything, he knew how much you hated each other.

Kylo had become very predictable to you during the time you had been there and you knew his ways good enough to know that he wouldn’t have wasted petty energy in putting the two most hateful people he knew in the same room if he hadn’t been pushed to do so.

You knew that you weren’t the reason in this scenario, despite the fact that he had probably felt your spite directed towards him, which only left one option; and that option was the bitter, infuriatingly stubborn ginger currently walking by your side.

You glanced at him from the corner of your eye and glared, clenching and unclenching your fists at your sides in the same manner you had been doing ever since Kylo had ruled his decision final and dismissed you for the night.

His eyes remained trained on the metallic corridor that seemed to be stretched out for miles in front of you and your blood boiled at the sight.

You would’ve lost your shit if he’d had the nerve to even consider looking at you after putting you in this situation, but at the same time, you were also on the verge of losing your shit about him having the audacity to ignore you.

You wanted to scream at him like you’d never screamed at anyone before, but you knew that doing that would only fuel the petty grudge Kylo had against the two of you and give him more ways to cause you torment. The only thing you and the general would ever have in common was not wanting that.

But still, what harm could a tiny bit of friendly banter do?

“You just couldn’t help yourself, could you, Armitage?” The question you’d been sucking on for the past few minutes finally slipped out into the air, making your anger known.

“Don’t call me that.”

“My apologies.” You sarcastically shot back with a dry laugh. “You just couldn’t help yourself, could you, general?”

“No, it was awfully tempting.” Was all that he replied, his eyes not once flickering and neither his stone-cold scowl nor fast-paced stride faltering.

Well, you might have absolutely despised each other but in the very least, you never bothered lying to each other. That had to count for something, right? Not that either of you cared.

No more words were exchanged, and that was probably for the best. Engineers and stormtroopers all moved out of your way as the two of you marched through the corridors, side by side, knowing better at this point than to get on your bad sides when you were together and this obviously angry both with each other and in general.

Soon enough, you finally reached the corridor in which Hux’s sleeping quarters were located and once the mechanic doors slid open, you pushed yourself past him into the room before he even got the chance to react.

He fumed behind you as he watched you make yourself at home, dropping your dirty jacket on his perfectly made bed.

“You’ll take the floor, then?” You asked as you turned around, crossing your arms over your chest and shooting him a forced smile.

“Hardly.” He spat, eyes narrowing, and you scoffed, rolling your eyes in return.

“You must be a real hit with the ladies with those manners.”

At that, he stepped further into his room, allowing the sensory-triggered door to shut behind him, successfully shutting the two of you in together.

“I don’t have time for fooling around with women.” He spat out the last word with such malice that you automatically raised an eyebrow.

“Well, that explains it.” You mused, the corner of your lip tugging upwards ever so slightly.

“Explains what, exactly?” His eyes narrowed further, and this time it was his turn to cross his arms.

“That stick you have up your ass.” You wasted no time in shooting back, and before he got a chance to reply, you continued. “I know this might be news to you seeing as you’re, well, you, but gentlemen are supposed to sacrifice their comfort and offer themselves to take the floor when a lady, due to unfortunate circumstances, is forced to stay in their room.”

You sarcastically smiled at him and sank down his bed, something that he, judging by the snarl overtaking his face, didn’t appreciate.

“You, a lady? That will be the day.” He scoffed. “Even calling you a woman is a stretch with your mannerisms.”

You could only roll your eyes.

“Well, I’m not sharing a bed with you.” The glare that had temporarily been exchanged for a teasing smirk returned to your face. “I’d rather share a bed with Millicent.”

As you said that, you picked up a single strand of cat hair from his bed, held it up for further inspection and raised your lip in disgust.

He stared at you dead serious, hands clasped behind his back and eyes burning holes into the side of your face.

“You’re allergic to cats.” He pointed out, making your head whip back around to face him with a glare equally as fierce as the one you were met with.

“Yes, that’s my point.” You deadpanned. “But it would seem that said point just went right over your thick-skulled head.”

“Do you think I am any happier about this than you are?” He scowled, and you stood up, slowly approaching him and coming to a stop right in front of him.

He took a small step back, a move that made your lip tug upward ever so slightly. The fact that he was so obviously not as tough as he wanted people to believe gave you a special kind of satisfaction and he knew it, judging by the way he only turned stiffer after that.

“You should be.” You smiled sweetly at him, keeping your eyes connected to his. “Because you’re sure as hell lucky I haven’t choked the life out of you yet for getting us into this situation in the first place.”

He glared and you glared right back, challenging, no, daring him to fight back. You knew that he wanted to, you could see that he wanted to, but in the end, not even he was that stupid.

So he said nothing, and once you realized you had finally managed to successfully back him into a corner, you backed away from him again and plastered on another forced, overly sweet smile.

“Now, I need to take a shower. I reek of burnt plastic.” You stated flatly and pushed past him, making a beeline for the one extra door in the room that you could only assume was his bathroom.  

You heard the squeak of his shoes rubbing against the floor as he quickly turned around behind you, and then came the determined steps and the proximity of his body closing in on you. However, before he got the chance to object or reach you, you entered his bathroom and slammed the door shut in his face, smiling contently to yourself as you listened to the muffled string of curses that followed.

You didn’t spend any more time thinking about it, though, not wasting any time before doing what you came in there to do.

You got out of your horrid-smelling clothes, released your equally as nasty-smelling hait from its ponytail and stepped into the shower.

If there was one thing you appreciated a little extra about living at the Starkiller Base, it was that everyone used the same scented soap. Because that meant that you wouldn’t have to go around smelling specifically like Hux, but rather just like you always smelled.

Once you finished washing your hair and body, you had to stop and think for a bit.

Your clothes obviously still reeked and needed a proper wash before they could be worn again, and you obviously couldn’t go naked.

After much thought back and forth, you finally settled with your own leggings as they were the one piece of clothing from your previous attire that smelled the least of smoke, and a plain black, long-sleeved undershirt that you found in a pile of Hux’s clean laundry.

Once you vad gotten dressed, braided your hair and re-entered the bedroom accompanied by a stream of steam, you found it to be empty, Hux nowhere in sight.

You couldn’t deny that you wondered where he’d gone off to, but you shook your head free of his face pretty quickly, settling with believing that he just went to take his frustration out on some poor stormtrooper or low-rank intern like he so often did when things didn’t go his way, much like Kylo Ren beat the shit out of any control panel he could get his hands on.

While you awaited his return, you occupied yourself with going around the room and lighting the small night-lamps like you normally did in your own room before going to bed.

That obviously didn’t take long, however, so you were soon enough once again left alone with your boredom and started walking around the room, inspecting all of Hux’s belongings.

You realized pretty quickly that he was not a person to whom inanimate things had much sentimental value, as he definitely didn’t have much to his name aside from the basic interior that all of the sleeping quarters on the base had.

He had a ring on his drawer, a few books in one of his two bookshelves while the other stood empty, a small bed in a corner for his cat, clothes in his wardrobe, and that was pretty much it. He had no pictures of family, no real personal belongings that could signify any kind of emotional value.

But then again, who did in these parts?

“Is that my shirt?”

You jumped when you heard the sudden voice behind you, quickly turning around where you stood twirling the ring you had found in the light of the lamp standing beside you.

Your eyes found his form immediately, shocked meeting stern.

“Why are you wearing my shirt?” He almost instantly repeated himself when not getting a reply the first time, slowly beginning to walk in your direction with his hands clasped behind his back.

You quickly put the ring back down on the dresser and turned towards him, regaining your composure.

“Well, if you hadn’t noticed, my room and everything in it was burnt to a crisp. The smokey smell on my clothes was giving me a headache and kind of would have ruined the purpose of taking a shower so when I just so conveniently noticed a pile of clean clothes, I helped myself.” You shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal, and to you, it wasn’t.

Hux, however, didn’t seem amused in the slightest.

“Yes, you seem to have a habit of thinking you’re entitled to everything you want.” He spat back at you, coming to a stop while there was still a good amount of distance between the two of you.

Any chill you had previously had melted right off and your annoyance quickly returned at the sound of his words.

“Oh, do excuse me. I just thought one headache would be enough.” You retorted and rolled your eyes, before sighing and crossing your arms over your chest. “So, how are we doing this? It’s late and I need to be up early to see to the repairs.”

“I thought that I made myself clear.” Hux was quick to scoff, his glare not faltering for as much as a second. “I’m not giving you my bed.”

Once again, all you could do was roll your eyes. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to suck it up then.” You stated flatly and sat down on the bed, wasting no time in starting to divide the pillows into two piles rather than one.

You took a few seconds to adjust the pillows to suit your needs before looking back up, eyebrow raised at the fact that he had yet to say or do anything.

Your eyes once again met his and you almost laughed out loud at the sight you were faced with, but thankfully managed to control yourself and avoid making the situation even harder than it already was.  

Long story short, Hux had never looked more horrified than he did in that moment.

He basically looked at you like you had killed his cat, and that was putting it lightly.

You took a few seconds to just enjoy watching him squirm and silently scramble to make sense of the situation, but even you knew when enough was enough and raised a questioning eyebrow at him in an attempt to get him moving.

“Well? What’s it going to be?” You asked. “It’s either this or the floor, just like it was for me.”

Hux opened his mouth, hesitated, and then closed it again. He obviously hadn’t been expecting you to actually agree on sharing his bed with him and now that you had, he was left at loss for words as he clearly hadn’t been preparing for anything other than you sleeping on the floor.

But after a good moment of just standing there and looking like an idiot, he finally picked himself back up, squared his shoulders and walked around the bed to the other side with frustrated strides and a snarling lip.

The feigned confidence melted right off, however, when he reached his destination and awkwardly shuffled into bed while simultaneously avoiding your amused and mocking stare, silently grabbing the extra blanket that was folded upon his bedside table.  

Both of you laid down on your backs and a heavy silence fell like a thick blanket over the room. The only sound you could hear for a few moments were each other’s breaths and your own heartbeats. For a moment, only for a microscopical moment, you were actually on your way to admit to yourself that it was kind of nice.

But that thought went flying out the window just as quickly as it had knocked on the door of your mind when Hux broke the silence by beginning to adjust himself to get ready to sleep, and in the process of doing so made the active choice to tug the pillows from right under your head.

The back of your head hit the mattress with a soft thump and you closed your eyes, your lips pulling into a straight, tight line and one, sharp breath being released through your nose as you attempted to keep your cool.

You took a moment to calm down, before you turned your head to his side of the bed where he now laid with his back to you and tugged the pillows back – maybe with a little too much force than necessary.

Hux had quickly rolled over to his other side to take them back and in anger and an eagerness to get to sleep, you exclaimed: “Stop stealing the pillows!”

He met you with a stare cold enough to have anyone else shaking in their boots and spat back. “They’re my pillows.”

You grumbled under your breath and let go of one of the two pillows, letting him pull it back to his side while you held on to the last one.

You stared at each other for a moment, both of you eventually coming to a silent, mutual agreement that you were too tired to fight and therefore he'd let you keep the pillow you were holding on to as if your life depended on it.

He, once again, laid down and turned his back to you, his hands holding on to the pillows under his head while you struggled to get comfortable again, this time with only one pillow.

“Why is your bed so damn hard?” You muttered under your breath as you angrily shoved your elbow into the mattress in an attempt to make it more comfortable – as if that was ever going to help.

“Stop complaining.” He only snapped back.

“How could I when I’m stuck in a bed with you?”

“You could’ve asked for other accommodations when you had the chance.”

“And what, be the next victim of Ren’s lightsaber?” You scoffed. “I’m the one in charge of the repairs that are needed every time he throws a wobbly. I’ve seen the kind of damage that thing can do and I’m not in any hurry to find myself at the receiving end of it.”

You muttered the last part under your breath as you finally managed to get relatively comfortable, plopping back down on your back and folding your hands over your stomach.

“How did you know I’m allergic to cats, anyway?” The question spilled out before you could stop yourself, and before you could even register that it was on the way.

Where did that even come from? Cats weren’t even close to being the subject at hand.

Hux didn’t seem to care much about the random change of subject, however, simply muttering back a reply. “You start sniffling and scratching your arms every time you’re in the same room as me for more than five minutes.”

He was clearly tired. Tired in general or just tired of you, you didn’t really know, but you guessed that it was a mixture of both since that was the case for you.

“Maybe I’m just allergic to you.” You muttered back with a shrug, even though he couldn’t see you, and he scoffed at that.

“Had that been the case I’m fairly certain it would go both ways and, unlike you, I don’t go around oozing snot everywhere I go.”

“I don’t go oozing snot everywhere.” You calmly protested, throwing the back of his head a disapproving glare before turning to lay on your side so that your back was now turned to his.

He didn’t say anything else and neither did you, sleep coming in and catching you completely by surprise and having you knocked out within the next two minutes.

When you woke up early that next morning, Hux was unsurprisingly already gone, Millicent instead laying in his place and looking right at you.

With a disgusted snarl and hesitant movements, you reached over to the other side of the bed and awkwardly patted her head twice, probably very much in the incorrect manner as you had no experience whatsoever with animals.

You got out of bed after that, put on your jacket and shoes, and wasted no time in getting to work once you’d gotten some food into your system, your team joining you in the damage-inflicted area to start on repairs like you’d done so many times before.

Everything was going fine and dandy, just a light-reckon day that started off like any other – if you didn’t count waking up in Hux’s bed with his cat – but a few hours into your workday, the unmistakable sound of Kylo Ren’s heavy steps could be heard echoing through the entire corridor you found yourself working in.

A big share of the Order’s pilots had been either killed or badly hurt a few days prior in an ambush. No one had expected any pilots to be needed for at least a few days but Kylo had gotten a sudden lead on the map that would take him to Luke Skywalker and was now walking around the base recruiting anyone capable of helping him get what he wanted.

Unfortunately for you, you were not only a highly-ranked engineer, but also a pretty decent pilot, and couldn’t say anything in protest when you were whisked away to a ship.

As anyone who wasn’t driven by an unhealthy obsession would have been able to guess, the lead was just too good to be true with a way too simple access.

Just like the last lead, this one fell through when it was revealed to be another ambush. You weren’t completely sure what happened, but over the comms, you had heard something about Leia Organa and some scavenger. 

You didn’t have time to think about retired war heroes though, no matter how much you’d love to pry and the get in on the gossip, as you had to shoot yourself through a big fleet of Resistance starfighter corps, barely getting through with your ship intact.

Your fellow pilots were shot down one by one, only a small amount of you managing to get out of there. And even then, you were met by more starfighter corps just as quickly as you’d gotten away from the last line.

Everything was just a mess after that. You weren’t able to get through to anyone over the comms, only barely being able to make out a “pull back!” before your comm system was blown to pieces along with one of your main engines.

Along with several other ships, you were forced to crash-land on a small planet filled with thick woods and when your ship collided with the ground, your head slammed into the controls, rendering you unconscious for who knows how long.

By the time you came back to it, you were hanging upside down, the only thing preventing you from falling down being the seatbelt keeping you strapped in.

You struggled to get out of there but you managed, and had to take a moment to get your surroundings to stop spinning before moving forward to look for survivors as well as a ship that wasn’t completely beyond salvation.  

You weren’t sure who you’d find, but the person you’d shared a bed with the previous night was definitely the last person you’d expect to have crashed in the same place as you. 

And still, you recognized his ship immediately. After all, you were the one who had personalized it to fit his liking.

Lucky for you, his ship seemed to have gotten a pretty soft landing. As you circled around it, you were able to determine that no major engines had been blown out. Damaged? Definitely. But they looked intact enough to at least be able to put some more distance between you and the Resistance pilots and get you to a safer place. Hopefully, the inside would be as untouched as the outside.

The ramp was lowered to the ground but didn’t look broken, so you wasted no time in jogging inside.

The lights were out completely in the entrance area, and just flickering in the ceiling when you came further in.

The first thing you noticed when you entered the piloting pit was that the pilot was not breathing. How could you tell from that far a distance? Well, let’s just say that something that was not supposed to be stuck in his eye, was stuck in his eye.

Upon further inspection, you noticed another body on the floor. However, this one was very much alive.

You would’ve expected to be met by a desperate “help me”, maybe even some begging and pleading or in the very least a “please”, but instead, even when in the process of bleeding out on the floor, Hux narrowed his eyes at you as you approached him and asked you with ragged breaths:

“Is that my shirt?”

You panted as you dropped to your knees at his side, still pretty shaken up from your own crash. “What? No.” You replied in a breath, and you wasted no time in starting to inspect his injuries.

“Yes, it is.”

“Why would I be wearing your shirt?” You asked simply, struggling to see in the dark as the flickering lights weren’t providing much assistance by means of light.

“That’s my shirt.” He kept insisting, and flinched when your hand made contact with his lower abdomen.

Only then did your eyes register the glimmering piece of metal through your blurred and disoriented vision, sticking out of his side.

You flinched at the sight, not needing any more light than you had to know that it was really bad. 

Your heart suddenly picked up in speed in your chest, and your hands began shaking as they became covered in his blood.

You had never been in the middle of the action before now, you’d always just been surrounded by metal and electricity. The most exciting thing you’d ever experienced was when a new engineer circuited a control panel the wrong way, resulting in it blowing up right by your workplace.

But it wasn’t the action in itself that had your heart about ready to burst through your chest, nor was it the blood in general, but rather the fact that it was his blood covering your hands.

His life was completely dependent on you at this moment and you had absolutely no idea how to behave accordingly.

But if there was something you knew, it was that the last thing you were supposed to do was to show a dying man your panic, so you took a deep breath and tried your hardest to steady your racing heart, going back to the conversation at hand.

“How could you tell the difference, really?” You asked. “All of our shirts look the same. All black, all equally as sufficient when used to stop blood flows.”

As you said that last part, you released another breath and ripped off a big chunk of the lower part of the shirt you were wearing.

A shirt that was, in fact, Hux's.

The man in question let his head fall back against the wall that he was propped against and his eyes squeezed shut when feeling your hands return to his side.

“Do you always wear shirts several sizes too big?” He managed to get out through clenched teeth and you replied without missing a beat.

“There was a mix-up in the laundry room.”

“So it isn’t your shirt?” He continued to be persistent and despite the seriousness of the situation, you couldn’t help but to let a small smile slip.

“Do you want to keep fighting about whether or not this shirt is mine or would you rather maybe, oh, I don’t know, focus on getting the hell out of here?” You asked him lightly and at that, he raised his head to meet your eyes with a distrusting glare.

“Why are you helping me?”

You raised your eyebrow at him, sparing just a second to meet his eyes. “You have a piece of metal stuck in your side, why the hell would I not help you?” You asked and as quickly as you had looked up, you looked back down at your hands to see what you were doing.

“You hate me, and I hate you.” He deadpanned, and you couldn’t deny you felt your heart tug in your chest.

“Who told you I hated you?” You asked, and listened as he let out a dry, struggling laugh.

“You did. On countless occasions.”

He hissed when you accidentally bumped your hand against the piece of metal. You quietly apologized but didn’t stop, knowing you didn’t have much time before the enemy would catch up with you.

“Thinking that I’m entitled to everything I want isn’t the only bad habit I have. I also have a tendency to overexaggerate.” You joked with a smile. “I do find you insufferably infuriating, though.”                                              

Another chuckle left his lips. “Likewise.” He said and dropped his head back against the wall.

You said nothing more, ripping another two pieces off of the shirt, tying them together and wrapping it around his waist like you had the first piece. You tightened this knot significantly more than the first one, though, right above the piece of metal, and just as quickly as he had relaxed, he jerked back forward with a yell.

“I need to stop the bleeding, you need to keep still.” You hurriedly scolded and sternly pushed him back down by his chest.

He muttered bitterly in return, but didn’t protest.

“I bet you’re enjoying this.” He seethed, and you raised an eyebrow, a small smile playing on your lips.

“Whenever I’m feeling down, I just think back to the multiple times I’ve had the pleasure of witnessing you being force-thrown across a room by Ren. Puts a smile on my face every time. But that doesn’t automatically mean I want you to die. So stop wallowing in your internalized self-hatred and put your hand over mine.” You told him, trying your hardest to keep a lighthearted attitude, more so for your own sake than his at this point as you were literally about to pass out.

But he did as told, contributing with the strength he had left when you got to your feet and started pulling him up and into one of the seats that were still intact.

He put a trembling hand over yours and in turn, you put your other one over his and pushed down. He hissed and you gave him a moment to adjust, and when you were sure he was pressing hard enough with his own hand, you slowly removed both of yours and fastened his seatbelt.

“Keep pressure and hold on tight. This is most likely going to be a rough ride.” You warned him, and he slowly looked up at you through a mess of ginger hair.

“It can’t be any worse than the ride here.” He retorted and you nodded, taking that as a “go ahead”.

You wasted no time in getting into the pilot’s seat after pulling the previous pilot out, as well as the thick tree branch on which his head had been impaled, and started up the controls. It took a few tries to get out of the hole the ship hade gotten stuck in when crashing, but soon enough you were up in the sky.

With a bit of dumb luck, you eventually reached your destination and got brought back in to the base by your team of fellow engineers, all ready to repair the wrecked ship.

Hux was immediately taken to the medical bay while you stayed behind to help with the ships, and from two ends of the base, the two of you silently and separately came to realize that maybe, just maybe, you didn’t hate each other as much as you thought, after all.

[thebeebi]

your little games pt. 2

pairing: Jungkook x reader

warnings: smut, fluff in later chapters, non-con, mention of r*pe attempt, implied murder and many more! Read only if you are okay with these topics!

genre: historical AU, 18th century?

word count: 2.5k+ [part 2]

a/n: I am not really sure if you wanted the part 2 but I for sure did!!! Enjooooy! ♥

You ran away from the man who tried to take an advantage of you. You stabbed him and escaped. Escaped to the arms of the handsome captain who was even worse than the man you just killed.

Part 1 

Jungkook did not understand what was the reason for you being like this. Your behaviour and manners were ones of an easy woman, but your hands that are pale and untouched showed that you were a lady who had never lifted a finger. He shook his head and wore a white shirt that he took off last just an hour ago. He walked towards the table and poured himself a glass of wine. When he was about to reach for it, he changed his mind and took into his hands bottle of brandy that was often his best companion. He gulped some of the leftover alcohol in the bottle while looking out of the window. He wasn’t from this little town. He was there just to ship some furniture that was ordered by a wealthy man. His parents used to love this town and often took him there considering it as a family vacation. But Jungkook never came back after their death. It was his first time back in 10 years. Jungkook’s father was an adventurer who raised his child strictly. On the other hand, Jungkook’s mother was his supporting pillar that mended Jungkook’s and his father’s relationship. Jungkook knew about the tough unfair world. Since he was a child, he preferred studying, but his father wanted him to be able to sail around so he sent him to an old captain – his friend, who taught Jungkook things that he knows now. Even though Jungkook loved sailing, he knew this was the last one of his adventures. His parents left him a huge mansion with a huge wine orchard. Jungkook knew he wanted to work with wine and that was the reason he did not sail that often. The winery was the centre of his attention. He was 25 years old man, who was already eligible for marrying. He wished he would be happy for the rest of his life. He smiled and shook his head, thinking that love for his mansion and the winery will make him do foolish things, that his heart did not approve. He wanted to get married to Elisabeth Buck who he did not love but had to marry in order to get back land that belonged to his family years ago.

Jungkook frowned at the thought of his possible future wife. His family was always known to be possessive of their loved ones. He knew how jealous his father would get if his mother shown even a tiny bit of interest in someone else than his father. He was weirded out by that because he was exactly the same copy of his father and the woman he wanted to marry had in the bed new man every night. But Jungkook somehow did not care. He wished there would be at least a tiny bit of jealousy, that would show him he had any feelings for the Elisabeth, but nothing. He knew her since childhood and was well aware that his feelings for her will not change. His friends called him crazy once they knew Jungkook asked her to marry him. Even if the jealousy was not inherited, Jungkook was sure he was stubborn just like his father. He was ready to get married just for the wealth and his family’s name.

Captain looked at his bed and walked closer to you. The sobs were getting quieter until they stopped completely. He knew you fell asleep, but it was no calm sleep. It reminded him of the sleep of an exhausted person. He bowed down and took blanket into his hands to cover you properly, uncovering your face, letting the fresh air getting to you. The last thing he was expecting in his cabin was a virgin. He knew they were problematic and that was the reason why he tried to avoid them all his life. He preferred spending time with skilled ones who were enjoying their life to the fullest without any worries. They could have been from a brothel or not, cheap or expensive. Jungkook did not care. This was his first night in the docks after a long time spent on the ocean. From the crew, only his servant Jimin and Taehyung stayed aboard that night. He felt horny after many nights without a companion, so he asked Jimin to find him someone for a quickie who was not filthy and very charming. Jungkook wasn’t expecting a virgin who was more beautiful than any other woman he had seen before. It was a miracle that they found you. A young innocent girl who was just turning into a woman. Normally women like that think about the marriage and with their innocence are trying to lure some a man into the trap with their beauty. How else would Jungkook be still single, if he did not try to avoid them as a devil avoids the holy water? But now, when he had to get married to the woman who slept with half of the male population of his town, he wanted to try something else. To refresh his tastes in women but he still could not understand what were your reasons for doing this job. He shook his head and took of the white shit again. He walked closer towards the table and blew out the candle. Jungkook once again looked at your body and then slowly laid down next to you. The last thing he thought about before he fell asleep was the gentle fragrance of your body and the warmth which was radiating from it.

When the first sun rays reached into the cabin, you felt them on your face and sat up straight away, waking up from the slumber. You looked around and then you got reminded of the events of the last night. Jungkook who was sleeping next to you had his arm over your bust, but as you sat up, his arm slid down on your thighs. You could feel the weight of something on your legs and when you looked down, you saw his left leg being crossed over your small body. You tried to squirm away without being noticed, but your movement woke Jungkook up. He hasn’t opened his eyes yet, so you took it as a cue to lay down again, pretending to be asleep. When he finally opened his eyes, the first thing he decided to look at was your face. To him, it was a beautiful sight. He loved the way you looked now, but even more when you were laying beneath him last night. Jungkook softly caressed your cheekbones with his thumbs and realised that his fiancé would be really jealous of your beauty. He laughed at the possibility of you two meeting. Elisabeth is proud of her beauty, and Jungkook knew she would despite standing next to even more beautiful woman than she was. His fiancé was proclaimed as the most beautiful woman in the town, even though there were many beauties. Jungkook never noticed it though, but people were probably right. Her face and hair were pretty, and her tall body was indeed attractive. Jungkook thought about the woman who he promised he would marry but then again looked at you sleeping next to him. If you were to come to his hometown, then they would for sure forget about Elisabeth’s beauty.

Jungkook bowed down a little to kiss your ear and nibbled it a little. You widened your eyes quicky before you could realise what was Jungkok doing. “Good morning, little one,” he whispered softly and tried to reach for your lips with his own. You were still, not trying to make any movement, being scared that if you would do anything, it would only provoke him. But Jungkook did not need it, the memories of last night were still raw and he was ready for another round. He was kissing your lips softly, but then moved to your eyes, the neck and headed towards the shoulder, where he stayed for a bitting you softly. The shiver ran down your spine as you saw Jungkook looking for the nipple and started licking it slowly, making small kitten but very passionate licks. “Don’t!“ you silently shouted, “Don’t do that!” Jungkook looked at you and the lust in his eyes was evident. “You will have to get used to this, little one.” You wanted to run away from his amused look, so the only thing you could do was turn your head to the side and beg. “No. Please, not. Don’t do that. Don’t hurt me again. Let me go.”

“I will not hurt you this time, little one.” He exhaled near your ear, which he was kissing softly. He covered you with his body as you were trying to push him away. You tried to press your legs together and to scratch him, just to make sure he would stop. Jungkook laughed as he loved the way you protested. “You have more strength now than you had last night,” he grabbed both of your arms pulling them up and then locking them in his grasp above your head. He managed to keep your arms above with one hand and slid the other down to your left breast to play with it. You kept on resisting, trying to push him away, but it was all in vain. With a swift move of his knee, he separated your pressed legs and you could feel him once again deep inside.

This time you did not cry, you had no tears left. Instead the hate and fear appeared within you. When he finished, he pulled away from you and you took that as a cue to clew up yourself by hugging your legs close to your chest. When Jungkook looked into your eyes, he frowned and sat next to you. He reached in to caress your cheek because he was feeling that he had to calm you down, but when you moved to the side, to avoid his touch, Jungkook was confused and stopped. His eyes widened as he realised that you were not pretending and were actually scared of him. He frowned even more and instead of your face, he reached for your hair, to entangle a fallen strand in his finger. “You are really something, little one.” He whispered softly. “You could have gotten a large sum of money for what you lost with me tonight. Anyone would be willing to pay you a lot for that but you still chose to be a prostitute and as I have heard, you came with my men willingly, not even trying to talk about the price or anything. You never told me that you were a virgin and did not try to ask for more.” He let go or your trembling body and continued: “The dress that you wore was expensive, some woman from the street would have to work for a year to get them. I am sure you are of high status, but I cannot explain why would you offer your virginity on the street. Someone could have raped you and you would lose it just like that.” You sit up a little and looked at him, not understanding what he was trying to say.“It looks like you are coming from a good family. You are beautiful, you have an expensive dress but still…” Jungkook grabbed you by the hand and pulled you to him. “ But you still chose to do this.” He softly caressed your palm and then lightly pressed kiss on the place he just touched. “When you came in yesterday, you were calm and willing, but now you were trying to push me away, not letting me be gentle to you.” It was only then when you realised, that he was not one of the men from yesterday.

Oh Gosh! You gasped as you thought about the price you paid for your fear. You then realised you should have waited for the judgement right at that place where you killed the man or just stayed in the poverty where you were trying to run away from. At least you would have not lost your virginity. “It is okay, Y/N. Don’t be afraid. I will take care of you and you will live in comfort. I arrived just yesterday and I will stay for a while. While I will be here, you will be my companion. I will take care of you and will make sure that you have your own house while I’ll-“

He was interrupted by your sudden burst of laughter. It was hysterical laughter that came out of nowhere when you realised what was the situation you were in. The huge smile on your face soon changed into sobs and tears started running down your cheeks. You looked down but suddenly shot your head up to look at the confused Jungkook.  “ I wasn’t selling myself on the streets. I just got lost.“ The captain frowned being silenced by the confession. “But you went with my men willingly,” he interrupted you and you just shook your head to sides. “I thought they were sent to look for me.” When Jungkook did not continue, you realised he does not know about your sin. He does not know about what you committed yesterday and why you were running away. “Aren’t your parents worried?“ You shook your head once again. “No, they died a long time ago. I am living with my aunt. But she does not care about me much.” You whispered the last sentence and whipped your tears away. “Then I do not see the reason, Y/N, why you could not stay with me and become my lover. I will find you a house where you could live happily and when I come here, I will spend time with you there. I will give you a large amount of money so you would not have to look for other men, than myself. Well, I would not let you do that anyways and once if I decide to come back here and will need woman companion, I will just go to you. It is a win-win for both of us.”

You silently stood up and got dressed in the clothes he met you in yesterday. For almost a second, you did not feel the hatred towards him but once he finished his monologue, it was back. You never thought you could hate someone so much as you hated Jungkook. His carefree nature drove you crazy and you were ready to jump at him and scratch his handsome face. Jungkook stood up and walked toward the window, you took it as your free pass to leave. Even though you were wearing the dress that brought back memories, you were willing to take all of them if it meant to flee from the man who wasn’t looking at you. You bit your lower lip and swiftly but silently reached for the backpack you brought yesterday and started backing away towards the door. Your plan disappeared once you heard him shout your name. “Y/N!” you looked up at the man and let go of the backpack surprised. His dark eyes were staring into yours and he noticed that you started breathing faster. With fast steps, Jungkook walked towards you and grabbed your arm. “Did you think, I would let you run away from me? You are beautiful and I haven’t found a replacement yet. And let me be honest, I have no desire to let you go.”

Part 3

a/n: do you want part 3? let me knowwww :) also, I might make a tag list for this series, so let me know if you want to be part of it. 💜

[farfromharry]

The one with homecoming | Peter’s girl

Summary: You accompany Mj to homecoming when Peter decides to go with Liz, but eventually end up comforting Peter after he gets into a large fight as Spiderman

Word count - 2,600

warnings - mentions of injuries, maybe some language?

━━━━━━━━━♡♥♡━━━━━━━━━

Homecoming was fastly approaching, and after the year you and your friends had had, you were more than excited. You were hoping that you and Mj could go together, as friends of course, no boys that would only serve to ruin your night with how irritating they were; yes, that included Ned and Peter.

“What if I asked Peter to Homecoming?” she said abruptly, breaking the comfortable silence you’d been in while eating together. You nearly choked on your food for multiple reasons. One, that was a very bold thing to do for Mj, and two, you really didn’t want her to go with Peter. She stared at you with wide eyes while you took a swig of your water to cool your burning throat, expecting some kind of explanation for that reaction.

“No, no boys,” you whined, hand reaching over to link your fingers with Mj’s across the table. “Let’s just go together.” She ignored the evident pleading and excitement in your eyes, the girl telling you that she really wanted to try her luck with Peter, finally find out if he likes her back. You were convinced your heart could have shattered right there, but you instead plastered a playful pout on your lips instead, showing your disapproval of the idea. “Still don’t think it’s a good idea,” you murmured, moreso under your breath so she wouldn’t hear you, retracting your hand from hers rather defeatedly.

“What was that?”

You opened your mouth to stutter out a response when you were thankfully saved by the bell, though not the actual bell, in this case it was a frantic and flustered looking Peter Parker. You and Mj shared a look of simultaneous confusion, watching as the boy took a seat opposite you, seeming quite out of breath.

“I need your help,” he said, trying to take a second to catch his breath before he explained what was going on.

“Why?” Mj asked, looking quite unimpressed that he’d interrupted your conversation, even if it was actually about him and her feelings for said boy. He took a deep breath, looking at you both with a tight lipped, nearsay awkward, smile.

“I just asked Liz to Homecoming.” For the second time in the span of such little time, you choked on your food, finding Peter’s words very difficult to believe. You stared at him with wide eyes, trying to figure out how this incredible socially awkward boy could ever ask the gorgeous, social butterfly of the school to a very crowded school event.

Mj could physically feel her heart sink and she nearly felt sick. However, like always she hid behind that same face of uninterest, feigning the idea that those words didn’t stab into her chest everytime they repeated over and over in her head.

“That’s amazing Pete, but I don’t know how we can help?” you said. You’d hoped the words would discourage him enough that he’d go ask Ned or something about all his questions, leaving you and the heartbroken Mj to not have to deal with this. But clearly he didn’t get the hint.

“I-I need you to help me with, you know, girls.”

You sighed, feeling Mj’s tense energy even from just sitting beside her, and part of you wondered how Peter couldn’t feel it too. But looking at the boy he looked so happy, practically glowing and flashing you that innocent smile that you didn’t know how to say no to. With another sigh you decided you’d do this yourself, you wouldn’t force Mj to sit and listen to you talk about how Peter can impress a girl that isn’t her.

“Why don’t you swing by my place tonight, I’ll uh, help you out.’ You mentally smiled to yourself at the accidental pun you’d thrown in there. Swing, Spiderman, get it?

“You’re a lifesaver Y/N, thank you,” he said, scattering away to probably go and tell Ned the good news.

Between you and Mj now was a very uncomfortable silence. You didn’t know if it was because you’d agreed to help Peter or if she was still dwelling on his date not being her, and the fact she didn’t even get to ask him first. Either way though you had no idea how to start a new conversation, the two of you sitting silently side by side. Thankfully this time you were saved by the literal bell, a muttered thank you coming from you.

“I’ll see you later,” you said, standing from your seat and offering her a warm smile which unfortunately wasn’t returned. “Whatever.”

»»——⍟——««

The build up to homecoming felt like hell for Mj. She’d voiced to you over the last week all her worries about having to watch Peter and Liz getting to be all lovey-dovey all night and your heart broke for her. You could tell even though she was opening up to you about this, she was still much more hurt by the idea than she was letting on and you’d never been more angry at the clueless boy.

You’d try to assure and reassure her plenty of times that what they got up two didn’t matter. The two of you were going to have fun and you were going to enjoy yourselves tonight without any more heartache. After all Peter was just a dumb high school boy.

When the actual night arrived the girl was freaking out more than you think you’d ever seen her freak out. Some part of her was convinced she had to look perfect just in case Peter so happened to glance her way at any point during the night.

So here you were helping her get ready. She’d bought a pretty dress and insisted on doing her hair the same way as usual after you tried another style and she decided she hated it. She’d obviously apologised for momentarily snapping at you but you’d understood she was feeling really stressed.

You knew what it was like to constantly try and impress someone and fail each and every time, so you couldn’t blame her attempts at trying.

It didn’t take too long for both of you to get ready, however Mj was quick to begin doubting herself as she stared in the mirror for too long. You could see the insecurity on her face and your heart panged with sympathy.

“You’re going to kill tonight,” you said. You could tell your words had an effect on her as she began to shyly play with her hands. You grinned to yourself, bringing her hands in yours and up to your mouth to press a sweet kiss onto her knuckles. “You’re so perfect,” you told her.

Of course you didn’t actually want Peter to realise what was right in front of him and date Mj, but you weren’t going to hurt her because of your own feelings.

“Well, we should head out while we still look hot,” you said, sending her a wink that had her rolling her eyes at you. She took your hand and watched as your smile grew wider as she led you out of your apartment. “Let’s go.”

»»——⍟——««

The night felt like it was flying by with the amount of fun you were having. After making sure Mj couldn’t keep her eyes on Peter she loosened up quite a bit. You’d actually managed to get the stubborn girl to dance with you a little bit, something that not a single part of you expected to happen.

It was only when moving to get another drink you saw Liz sitting alone on the bleachers, no Peter in sight. You tapped Mj’s shoulder to draw her attention to it, motioning over to the girl. If she was being honest, her first reaction was relief, relief that her crush wasn’t dancing the night away with a girl that wasn’t her.

But after a quick re-evaluation of her feelings, she felt a strand of sympathy grow for the girl, but only a really really miniscule one.

“We have to help her,” you reasoned, trying to talk some sense into your friend. With a hesitant answer she nodded, swallowing her hurt and pride and following you over to the bleachers where Liz looked as though she was ready to cry.

She saw the two of you approach and offered you both a weak smile, having no protest to you taking a seat beside her.

“Are you okay?” you asked. She chuckled quietly, probably at herself for getting so worked up over a teenage boy, but nevertheless shook her head.

“He left. He said he was sorry and left.”

She truly did sound hurt by his actions, and you were mentally cursing Peter for hurting yet another sweet girl that didn’t deserve his stupidity.

“Where did he go?” you asked, trying to console the girl. She just shrugged, resting her head on your shoulder sadly as Mj watched the two of you. You rubbed your hand up and down Liz’s back, sending your best friend a warning glare as you saw the way her eyes sparkled. Whether it was out of hope or happiness, neither were appropriate right now.

Part of Mj really was happy that Peter had abandoned Liz. She’d told you that the only thing that could possibly ruin tonight was having to watch them together the whole night when she desperately wished it was her.

“I’m sorry Liz,” she said, pushing her feelings aside to try and be the bigger person. The girl nodded, flashing Mj a sad smile as she brought her hands up to wipe any stray tears.

“I think,” she started, drawing your and Mj’s attention to her. “I think I’m just going to go home.”

Your anger towards Peter only increased with Liz’s words. “Are you sure? You can stay with us if you’d like,” you offered. You could feel Mj’s glare burning into your side as you said the words and the girl was sure she’d cry if Liz was to agree to your suggestion.

Luckily for her though, Liz was quick to deny, telling you both that she really would prefer to go home than keep getting stares of pity and feel this deep sense of embarrassment. It isn’t everyday that someone gets stood up by a ‘nerd’ like Peter Parker, especially not someone like Liz Allan.

The two of you watched as she left the gym, ignoring the stares of nosey teenagers.

As soon as the doors were closed again you turned your full attention to Mj. “I’m proud of you,” you whispered, leaning your head on her shoulder. She sighed, shaking her head but leaning it on top of yours anyway.

“I was being selfish-“ she tried to argue. “But you did the right thing in the end,” you said, wrapping your arms around her in a comforting way. You felt the way the apples of her cheeks pressed against your head more defined and you just knew she was smiling at your words.

“Now, let’s go enjoy our night.”

»»——⍟——««

You were over the moon by the time you got back to your apartment that night. Your parents had made you tell them all about it and you could hardly contain your excitement from the night you’d spent dancing away with Mj. But overall, you were still exhausted and you were ready to just crawl into your bed and sleep for the next few hours.

You entered your room with your smile still permanently stuck on your face, closing the door behind you and pressing your back to the wood as you tried to calm your excitement from the night.

You didn’t expect someone to already be in your room, sitting on your bed to be exact. You flipped on the light and nearly had a heart attack upon seeing the suited boy sitting there, clutching his ribs with a pained expression on his face.

“Peter, oh my god,” You shrieked, trying to keep your voice down so you didn’t alert your parents. The boy’s face was beaten black and blue and from the way he was walking and clutching at his stomach, the rest of him wasn’t much better. “What happened to you?” you asked, rushing over to him to take a close look at his injuries. You could see the tears forming in his waterline and your heart ached for him, carefully wrapping your arms around him.

“Come on,” you said, leading him to your bathroom, a very familiar occurrence recently. Neither of you spoke while you tended to the cuts on his face. You wanted to let him tell you what happened when he was ready, plus you didn’t exactly feel like talking as you tried to quickly come down from the excitement of the night.

Your eyes caught sight of his hand resting in his lap, the skin split on his knuckles that had you wincing at the sight.

“Your hand,” you pointed out, noticing the slight burn marks on his skin when his hand shifted. He shook his head, telling you to ignore it and just help with his face. You tended to his busted lip and the cut right on his cheekbone, wiping away as much blood and dirt as you could.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

His eyes were burning holes into yours while you worked on him, noticing the concerned glint every time he’d hiss or wince at some pressure.

“No,” he whispered, the tears from earlier beginning to spill over his cheeks. You cooed quietly, pulling him back into you just so you could hold him. After tonight you were sure Mj would explode seeing the way you were holding Peter, and you felt guilty even if your actions were incredibly innocent. You wouldn’t dream of hurting her like that.

“What happened?” you asked, in the softest voice you could muster. You lightly guided his chin so he was looking into your eyes, his big doe eyes making him look like a lost puppy.

“This is going to sound insane, but,” he laughed to himself. “I- I was fighting Liz’s dad.”

He watched as your eyes widened in shock, your body freezing as you tried to process the words he’d just said. He tried to answer as many of your questions as he could before you even opened your mouth, knowing exactly what was already going through your head.

“Well, do you remember Liz’s party when you saw me on the roof?” It took a lot of explaining from Peter. But he eventually managed to tell you the entire story, right from the alien weapons the night of the party to taking him down and handing him over to the cops. You were surprised but you were sure these were the kinds of things you were going to have to get used to knowing his secret.

Conversation was quick to die down afterwards, neither of you knowing what else to say on the matter, but the thought of Liz after he left her in the gym was eating him alive.

“Did she seem mad?” he asked, timidly. Of course you knew who he was talking about straight away. You thought back on the night and even though it wasn’t the answer he wanted, you had to shrug your shoulders. “She was upset,” you said.

You heard him sigh beside you. “Did I really screw this up?” he asked, laying his head on your shoulder. You sighed, resting your head on top of his, much like how Mj had done to you earlier this afternoon. You weren’t planning on sugar coating this for him. “Yeah, you did.”

━━━━━━━━━♡♥♡━━━━━━━━━

peter’s girl taglist → @sunsetholland @captainamirica @tomsirishgirlx @givebuckyhisplumsnow @lou-la-lou @slutforsr @tayyx @gog0juice @minejungwoo @creatorofthegalaxy @annathesillyfriend @paninipress @bvttercupbby @peterswebshooters @whoeveniskendall @itsallyscorner @hoodpankow @sunwardsss @hallecarey1 @writingrem @mamaparker28 @n0eliii @lovehollandy12 @ifyouknewhowmiserylovedme

[equestrianwritingsstuff]

Fugitives

Somehow inspired by @chicken0mcnugget and her sister and my sister's more than lovely camping adventure. Somehow, I don't know how. Maybe part 2 if I write it (no promises) will match up to my wild imagination's interpretation of a camping trip. Perhaps, it is a possibility.

Warnings: collapse, passing out, field medicine, blood, gunshot wounds, screaming, gagging roughly for own good, intensive description of possibly gorey wound care, betrayal, some language, going into shock, IV and needles.

~

"Stop," Villain wheezed, sinking to his shaking knees. "I-i need-" cough, "I need help."

Hero stopped running and looked over her shoulder to see Villain half-collapsed on the ground, holding his abdomen.

"We both need help, Villain. Now get up and run. They'll be here soon," Hero trotted back to her nemesis.

"Mmnh," Villain gurgled, his face an eerie shade of pale yellow. He swayed from his kneeling position, keeling sideways, eyes rolling back-

"Oh my gosh," Hero caught Villain as he fell limp into her arms.

"Wake up!" Hero patted Villain's burning cheek repeatedly. "Damn it Villain," she groaned when he didn't wake.

Hero felt at loss. They were running away from authorities in the middle of the woods, exhausted and sore, with no shelter, water, and food in sight.

And now she had an unconscious villain to deal with.

Hero removed the hands placed so precariously on his stomach to reveal a spot of bloodstained fabric. Hero silently cursed to herself and rolled up his shirt.

The sight made her stomach drop. He had not one, but two bullet wounds in his stomach. One was quite deep and bleeding profoundly whereas the other still had the champagne bullet casing, blocking the precious crimson plasma's flow.

He was shot, Hero stressed to herself, trying to figure out what to do. She vaguely remebered a series of gunshots, but Villain promised that he was okay.

And now...

Hero stopped her thoughts suddenly and stood up, cradling Villain tenderly. He was bigger, without a doubt, but between her fitness and touch of super strength, she succeeded.

"I got you," she whispered to the sleeping villain before taking off at a lopsided jog.

"Villain what are you doing here?" Hero asked, approaching the tall, leather-cladden figure.

"Saving you," Villain replied, running to close the distance and grabbing Hero's arm. "Your team, they set you up. We need to go!"

"What are you talking about?" Hero chuckled, easily shaking Villain's hand off.

"They are-"

A click.

A scuffle of feet.

"Well this, my friends, is a win-win," an all too familiar chortle sounded.

Villain spun around, stepping back to stand parallel to Hero's shoulder. His breaths were hitched, proof of his nervous anticipation.

Hero, on the other hand, was mystified by the scene. Her hands trembled as beads of sweat started to form around her amber hair line. Realization flooded into every vein and all she wanted to do was sink to the ground and give up.

They betrayed her.

Her team betrayed her.

Leader stepped into the single light spot in the warehouse. Even though it was mid-day, the shadows made it look like it was night.

"We have our darling Hero here, and her nemesis. Arrest them," Leader ordered.

Villain lunged at Leader, going for his neck. More scuffles of feet determined that there were more heroes to fight off, but injuring, or killing, Leader would slow them down.

Villain and Leader fell to the ground with a grunt, punching, and hitting, and lashing until Villain was able to smack the golden boy's head against the concrete floor.

Villain discarded his prey and hurried to assist Hero in taking down two muscular, lithe heroes. They were twins, evident in their matching black ponytails.

"You know the pay for your head," one sneered, licking her bloodied lip. "Is more than what I had to pay for my house."

"Hmm," the other laughed. "Not only that, but you are on every 'wanted' billboard in the city."

Hero said nothing, just kept striking punch after punch- most of the time missing.

Then, as if on impulse, Villain grabbed Hero's shoulder and led her to a window. "Hang onto me," He said and closed his eyes.

Then there was a shot... then two... a brief hiss and then they were in the forest...

"Villain are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I promise."

Hero stumbled across an abandoned cabin. A moldy door guarded the entrance and windows were bashed in, but it supplied the dire need for shelter.

Inside, cupboards hung lazily on rusted hinges, creaking as they swayed with the cool draft. A rat-infested couch was hidden in a damp corner with moss growing at the bottom. The only somewhat useful piece of furniture was the metal table in the center.

It was odd to be accompanied by such a modern implement when the rest of the trashy building looked like it belonged in a landfill. Either way, Hero sat on the table, testing its strength. When it passed the test, Hero laid Villain upon it softly and began to inpect the bullet wounds again. The bad one stopped bleeding, but it still looked increasingly painful even though Villain was still unconscious.

Satisfied that Villain wouldn't die, yet, Hero started to search the minimally stocked cupboards. She found a handful of bungee cords, tiny nails as if the former homeowners were into hobby crafts, a mason jar, a metal rod, a various collection a thread, some sort of hemp material, and expired medicines.

She grabbed the nails and thread and walked back to Villain. It was far from ideal to use the nails to stitch, but it was all she had and would have to make do.

Hero tied the thread right under the head, praying that Villain wouldn't get tetanus from the rust particles, and started to sew the larger wound together.

As by some misdeed sent from hell, Villain awoke, screaming like a hungry baby bird. Hero left the nail half-dangling in his flesh and dug her hand into Villain's mouth.

"Shhhh," she cooed. "Someone could be out there. We are apparently fugitives now, remember? Remember the fight?"

It seemed to drain all of Villain's energy, but he nodded. Yet, the second Hero let go of his mouth, he started to curl into himself, whimpering.

"Knock that off," Hero chided and stretched Villain back out. "I need to access that wound."

Villain mewled, but didn't move.

"Okay..." Hero breathed and with a quivering hand, pushed the needle into the ruin skin. Villain hissed, abs flexing, but didn't holler until the head started to pull through Villain's skin.

Oh boy, did he scream. It was like a dying cougar, wild and ragged. Hero, ignoring the wordless pleas for mercy, laced the nail through. It made a small puncture wound, but it had to be done.

"I'm sorry!" Hero rushed over to Villain's head, gathering it into nervously shaking arms that were fueled by adrenaline. Villain's eyes started to glaze over and slip above his eyelids.

She couldn't keep doing this. Every pass, partnered with a screech, and then rushing to comfort Villain would take too much precious time.

Time that could be spent getting as far away as they could from the ravaging heroes.

Thinking briskly, Hero grabbed the metal rod with the tiniest bungee she could find, and appeared again at Villain's head.

"I'm so sorry about this," Hero apologized, and forced the rod into Villain's limply hanging mouth. The villain's eye widened and darted frantically around, searching for the cause of his discomfort.

Hero ignored the obvious signals of distress and pulled Villain's head up. She looped the center of the bungee to one side and then took one strand to do the same on the other. She then attached the hooks together and laid Villain's head down.

A pillow would also be more than ideal. The inevitable thrashing of the head would more likely than not cause some sort of head injury- whether substantial or not.

But Villain would have to do without.

Hero went back to the gaping wound on his stomach and resumed her threading... in... out... in... out...

Everytime, the nail head would have to be roughly pulled through, and everytime more tender skin would rip. Villain thrashed, smacking his head against the unrelenting metal and kicking out with his legs. Hero tried to get by with just sitting on his legs, but the flailing arms also proved to be a problem. She got up, once again leaving the needle haphazardly in the villain's wound, and returned with the hemp fabric.

She tied each wrist and each ankle with the scratchy material, snug. Villain who was resisting the friendly torture immediately fell back into his newfound restraints, sniffing pitifully.

"I'm sorry," Hero tried to reason, but her delirious and exhausted ward was beyond negotiations.

Hero sighed and continued to tend to Villain's wound. Villain pulled back as much as the taut restraints allowed; he bit down against the metal gag until his mouth begun to bleed. Hero winced, concerned that he broke a tooth.

When the first hole was completely stitched up, Hero cut the azure colored thread and strung some more out. She retied it to the nail and set them down against the table.

Hero noticed that the table was beginning to get slick with blood and sweat.

She then examined the bullet. The other one must've fell out when Villain teleported the pair. The dark beige color shone compared to the deep mahogany blood. Hero took two nails out and placed them on both sides of the bullet like chopsticks and tried to use the leverage to launch it.

She succeeded and the bullet just barely brushed against her ear, but the wound began to bleed heavily. Hero groaned and shoved her hand into the bleeding waterfall to staunch it.

Her ears started to ring as her heart pumped faster. Villain's body slumped against the table, his face going pale. Hero gasped for breathing, the wires in her brain not connecting. She didn't know what to do.

She messed things up, now Villain was bleeding out again.

Hero removed one hand and tried to tear a piece of the hunter green shirt she was wearing off; but she couldn't, the cotton material was stubborn.

"Shit," Hero gasped, walls of anxiety closing in around her. The air suddenly felt so heavy as if a furnace was just installed. Her hands trembled, not knowing what to do.

"Think Hero, think," Hero muttered outloud. If she released pressure, Villain would surely bleed out.

Hero leaned all her weight onto the wound. Villain gasped, trying to crawl away. His skin was clammy and unnaturally pale- even more blanch than before. His eyes kept rolling up into his skull before returning to a more neutral place.

His chest heaved in irregular breaths as his stomach convulsed...

He was going into shock.

Hero groaned and grabbed the end of her shirt and brought it to her mouth. She bit it and ripped it all the way to her ribcage. She replaced her sticky hands with the cloth and stuffed it into the wound. It slowed down on bleeding, and the shirt was thick enough to give Hero some time to help with the shock.

She ran to the cupboards and found a bucket. Bringing that over to Villain, she elevated his legs. He was gasping for air now and didn't seem entirely conscious.

She then took off his jeans and laid them over his legs. She remembered learning about shock in her early heroic classes- keep the victim warm and remove restrictive clothing.

She left his rolled up shirt and leather jacket on.

His pulse was insanely weak and too fast as if he was intoxicated. Hero pursed her lips and gently tapped Villain awake.

"Stay awake," she pleaded. "I know it's hard."

Villain lips quivered and he coughed up some thick, starchy liquid.

Blood.

Hero turned Villain to his side and allowed him to spill the scarlet color. All the while, she kept a close eye on the wound. The shirt was nearly drenched.

I could tie a tourniquet, Hero realized and gathered some of the hemp. She deftly wrapped it around Villain's mid torso and pulled it taut.

Stepping back from her work, Hero knew that she had to call someone. A hospital was a no, even with Villain in shock. She could give him a blood transfusion...

If there was adequate IV lines.

Hero rushed to the cupboards once again. It was a long shot, but it was the only thing she could do.

Find an IV line, She told herself- the request was weak though, no one could find an IV in an abandoned cabin.

Find an IV.

And that she did.

Not even wondering what use the prior homeowners had for an IV, Hero inserted the needle in her vein, immediately filled with gratitude for her O type blood and attached the other end into Villain's elbow.

She gave him enough blood until some of his color returned and he fell into an uneasy sleep.

Hero finished stitching the wound. Villain remained sleeping the whole time. She then removed the rod from his mouth and stuffed some more of her shirt on both sides of his mouth where the blood origin was.

Finally, when all the work was done, Hero laid next to Villain and wrapped an arm around his chest. He melted into the comfort, whimpering silently. Hero smiled and closed her eyes, asleep immediately.

She didn't notice the security camera in the corner of the building. The one with the blinking red light.

[simpsiren]

the familiarly unfamiliar stranger;

na jaemin x reader

He is the guy that’s kind to basically everyone. No one has ever disliked him. He’s always had that “friendly guy but doesn’t have a group of permanent friends” type of aura. Despite that aura of his, he’s never seen hopping from one friend group to another either. He’s just... there. He only has his DNYL fraternity that I would consider to be his only friends.

genre. angst, fluff, childhood friends meeting after a long time becoming lovers

warnings. none!

word count. 16.3k~

description. Would it be possible to meet that particular stranger that you made a sudden connection with in the span of two months when the two of you first met at a beach house party? I didn’t really try finding the answer to that after we parted way and never to cross paths again. Instead, the answer came to me when I went to college and realised that Jaemin was studying there as well. Just when I thought my unsaid feelings could finally be released for him to hear, I got to find out that he joined a fraternity called ‘DNYL’, meaning that they’re people that want absolutely nothing to do with love.

READ PART II HERE

!as they should materlist!

“Get your ass out of this couch and come with me!” Johnny plopped himself down next to me. I kept my eyes on the TV screen, not giving a single care about Johnny's constant persuasion to take me to some beach house party.

“Are you serious right now?” Johnny lets out an exasperated huff. “We’re at the beach for God’s sake! You need to enjoy summer break here to the fullest. One way is to get out and party!” He grabbed onto my wrist, tugging it with every word to emphasize his points. I used my free hand to scoop a handful of popcorn from the bowl. “I still have two months here. I can admire the beach whenever I want. Just not with complete strangers.” I rolled my eyes as I chewed, words muffled due to the fact that I stuffed my mouth till it was full.

“Can you please?” Johnny whined, shoulders shaking from left to right. “Ah! I shall make my wish now.” I turned to him, arching a brow in a questioning look. “What the hell are you talking about?” Johnny giggled and a wide smirk crept up his face creepily. Whatever Johnny’s about to mention is going to force me to stop saying no. I just know it.

“Remember you said you’d grant me a wish since I gave you the credit for coming up with that idea for your art project?” Yup, knew it. Thanks to the idea that Johnny gave me, I was able to get an A for my end of year art coursework. Supposedly, we were needed to credit everyone, and I mean everyone, who contributed in any way. But Johnny offered to give me full credit for the most important part of the project, which I’m greatly thankful for. But unfortunately, it’s now about to stab me in the back.

“I literally treated you to bubble tea for that!” I retorted, eyes narrowed at Johnny as he shook his head vigorously. “That doesn’t count.” I let out a loud defeated sigh. I could never beat Johnny in this. Even if I did, he’d still go on to pester me every second. Not wanting to push this matter any further and having to put up with Johnny’s stubbornness, I plopped another popcorn into my mouth, whispering a “Better be worth my damn time.” after I swallowed.

We were living in a trailer during our stay by the beach and had to walk by the seaside to reach, wherever the beach house was. I followed beside Johnny closely, being absolutely clueless since I have yet to look around the place when we came. It’s only our first day. Can’t expect me to be exploring it immediately. I needed time to get comfortable. But Johnny clearly didn’t get that memo.

The moment the beach house came to view, loud chatters and laughter of glee could already be heard. There were many people hanging by the outdoor restaurant, which was made by colourful planks and decorated with fairy lights that illuminated the entire place beautifully, hung loosely from plank to plank that were placed far apart from each other as the roof, giving you the clearest view of the night sky. Some people were by the hammocks situated just beside it, and the actual beach house itself above the outdoor restaurant.

The place was jammed pack the moment we stepped in. Johnny had to hold my hand as we squeezed through the crowd. The reeked smell of alcohol and burnt barbecue entered my nose, making me scrunch it up the whole way till we entered the beach house. “I shouldn’t have come.” I said dryly to Johnny while he took me to meet his friends. “Go grab some food.” Johnny said as we ended up in front of a room. He opened the door, suddenly a bunch of low screaming was heard as they greeted Johnny. I stood behind him quietly, thinking that his tall figure would cover me.

“Who’s she?” One of them asked. I mentally sighed as Johnny pulled me out from hiding behind his back. “Just a friend I had to drag here to enjoy herself. Isn’t that right?” Johnny said with a playful tone. I threw a sharp glare at him in a split second and turned to the group of guys that were sitting around the large bed, forcing a smile and nodding my head. “Enjoy yourself. Cause’ I’ll be leaving the moment I get my food.” With that, I left to head over to the food pantry.

After zooming my way through the crowded area of the beach house, I finally made it out at the restaurant. I walked to the lines of tables that were filled with food. Barbecued food and desserts. I guess this was a positive decision to come here. I get free food after all. I grabbed a plate from the side and placed practically one of every food that was available till my plate was full. I got myself a cup of iced cold lemon tea and removed myself from the chaotically crowded area.

When I stepped out of the place, I actually didn’t know where to go. I stood there for a moment, food on one hand and drink on the other. My eyes scanned the scenery in front of me. It was just the beach with nothing else on sight. I licked my lips and my legs began to move. I didn’t know where I was going, but I’ll go anywhere that’ll bring me away from all this.

My legs ended up taking me to the rocks at the end of the beachside. I climbed up after placing my food at the top. I sat down and got comfortable, letting my legs dangle freely over the edge. I took in a deep breath, taking in the smell of the sea air that cleared my nose and put me at ease instantly. I looked up to the night sky, my hand reaching for a chicken and took a bite.

The sky that had very few stars to be seen was dark, a blank sky of nothingness. The sea however reflected the light of the moon, the waves glistening under the moonlight each time it hits the surface. Not to mention the soothing sounds of the waves crashing against the rocks below me. “Mind if I join you?”

I flinched and turned around immediately at the voice behind me. I didn’t give a reply and instead inspected him up and down. He had blue hair, which I found was weird at first, but I realised that it went well with his face that was extremely attractive, and seemed to be around my age. He’s wearing a plain white loose tee with black jeans and boots, the entire outfit making his perfectly proportioned body prominent as well as his bright blue hair to stand out.

I have yet to given a reply, too caught up with looking at the stranger as he simply shrugged and take a seat beside my food and drink, my eyes following him with every move. “I’m assuming you came from the party.” He said, eyes staring down on the food. I nodded my head silently. “Just wanted some freah air.” I replied.

I grabbed my drink and take a sip, sighing softly as I swallowed. “Were you from there too?” He laughed and nodded his head. “Since evening. Everyone’s currently drunk and crazy. Just didn’t feel like putting up with that.” He hugged his knees close to his chest, chin resting on his forearm. “How long have you been here?” I took a bite of my chicken and quickly swallowed it down to answer him. “It’s only my first day. I’m staying till summer break’s over.” The boy hummed in reply.

“Same, actually.” Although I had my eyes fixated at the sky, I couldn’t help but take quick glances at him, his eyes being covered by strands of his blue hair and his sharp jawline that could possibly cut through anything. I noticed how he kept his eyes on my food, though he wasn’t trying to make it obvious. “You can have some.” I said, downshifting to the food.

He smiled softly, looking up at me. “Thanks.” He whispered before taking a snack at random and placing it in his mouth. “Is this your first time coming here?” He questioned. I puckered my lips. “Yeah. I mean of course I went to the beach before just not staying here for two months.” I kept silent, thinking of what else to say. I noticed how he was looking at me, as if fully attentive to my words.

“Johnny pulled me in on this, saying I should enjoy a different environment rather than the air of the city breathing down my throat and suffocating me.” I added on, saying exactly what Johnny told me before coming here and looking down to my legs that swayed lightly in the wind. “You mean Johnny Suh?” My brows furrowed as I looked to him. “You know him?”

“Yeah. He’s friends with my brother Jaehyun.” He lets out a weak laugh. “My mother forced me to follow him here to enjoy myself. I’m not a big fan of...” He turned around and motioned his hand lazily to the beach house. “That.”

“Guess we’re here for the same reasons and share the same opinion.” We kept quiet for some time, letting the silence get comfortable between us. Funny how I didn’t feel the slightest bit of awkwardness next to him, as if we’d be able to never know each other yet still feel like we have since forever like the closest of friends do. The cold wind blew gently against our skin, only our light breathing and munching to be heard.

I didn’t know what time it was, nor did I care. But whoever this guy was, he somehow made me want to stay here for longer that I needed.

I didn’t see him at all after that one night. I ended up having to go home myself since Johnny came back to the trailer the next day extremely hungover when he rang the doorbell annoyingly at seven in the morning. Two weeks have passed. And the stranger never left me mind. Not because of how he looked, though that was one of the reasons, but because of the the fact that I felt the sudden comfort when I was with him. It was just one night. A mere few hours. And we were just there. A little chit chat here and there followed by long minutes of silence. But it didn’t feel bad at all. 

“Where are you going?” I asked, seeing Johnny wear his leather jacket while walking over to where I was at, once again on sitting comfortably on the couch for my movie night. “To see my friends. What else? I’m not a homebody like you.” He rolled his eyes at me, going to the kitchen counter to grab his wallet. “Hey, John?” I suddenly asked, curious about something.

He turned around and hummed in question. “Are you friends with a guy named Jaehyun?” His eyes widened slightly and nodded his head. “I do. Funny you mentioned him. I’m meeting him at the beach house later.” His face slowly turned into a mischievous one. “Why? You wanna meet him?” I squinted my eyes at his assumption. “No. I’m just...” I trailed on, but never got to think of an answer, not knowing how to explain to Johnny that I wanted to meet the boy that I knew absolutely nothing about. 

“Asking for a friend.” Johnny smacked his lips. “Tell her he’s unavailable until she gets my approval.” He chuckled, shaking his head. “What a friend.” I commented in a sarcastic manner. “I’ll head out too.” I said, grunting as I rose from the couch. “And where are you going?” Johnny asked curiously. “Hoping to enjoy myself.” I said, my lips forming a thin line as I went to get ready. If Jaehyun’s there, could his brother be as well? 

By the time I finished getting ready, Johnny has already left and I assumed he did a long time ago. I shrugged and left the trailer. I made my way to the beach house. It was still as lively as ever. I did make occasional trips there for the food since they were in fact still delicious. I assumed they were about to have another party. It was already evening. Once again my legs didn’t know where to go and made the unconscious decision of taking me to the rocks.

As if miracle had dawned on me, I was surprised to see him sitting there, his back facing me while he held a guitar on his lap with a small notebook and pencil beside him. I silently walked up to him and sat down, legs crossed. He didn’t say anything for a moment when he noticed me. “We meet again.” He simply said, trailing his eyes from his guitar and to me. I chuckled and smiled softly. “Indeed, we have. My legs just carried me here.” I lied, placing my hands on my thighs as I thought about how he has never left my mind since that night. 

“What are you doing?” I asked, jerking my head to the guitar that sat comfortably on his lap. “Writing a song.” He said, smiling gently back at me. I probably didn’t notice this that night since it was dark and I didn’t get a clear view of his face, but his smile was effortlessly beautiful. It made his whole face glow and he didn’t even have to smile fully. My heart did a leap, quickly my mind captured his face, his bright blue fluffy hair that moved in the strong winds of the day, his nose and his lips, lightly tinted pink that looked soft and smooth. 

He began to strum on his guitar, making gentle and calming sounds flow into my ears. “Being here gives me inspiration.” He grabbed his notebook from the side, writing down something that I couldn’t take a peek of since his head covered the page. “Are you free today?” He suddenly asked, looking up to me and closing the notebook shut with his fingers clasping it. I hummed in reply, my mind starting to wonder why he would ask that out of the blue. “Well I actually have a movie night to get to but it’s not important.” It used to be until you asked, I thought to myself. 

“Oh then it’s fine. You should enjoy your movie night with your friend.” He blurted out quickly, shaking his head and letting out a weak chuckle, facing forward to the sea. I widened my eyes and shook my head vigorously, my hands doing the same in front of me chest. “No! I’m fully free. I meant a movie night with myself.” 

“I’m fully free.” I repeated again, slowly as a way to reassure him while hoping that I’d get to spend some time with him tonight. 

We ended up having a small picnic, ordering two boxes of pizza while we sat by the seashores, the waves just hitting inches away from us where the sand as still dry. “The sunset’s pretty.” I whispered, looking up at the beautiful shades of red till yellow that painted the sky. 

“Have you made any friends here yet?” He asked, grabbing a slice of pizza and taking a bite. I sighed quietly, my chest puffing up ever so slightly. “I only have Johnny, but he’s always hanging out with his friends so.” I cut of, not needing to finish the full sentence. “You?” I questioned him. He gave the same reply, sighing. “Never really got along with anyone here.”

“But you’re getting along well with me.”

“Then I guess that’s a first.”

The two of us laughed. It felt nice. This whole thing. Again we were met with silence. It’s as if that day was repeating itself, only in a different setting. What was it about this that had drawn me in so deep? The peace that soothed me just from doing this, just by having him next to me. He’s a complete stranger. I forgot about asking his name, he never bothered asking me for mine either. We were just... there, admiring each other’s unknown presence. We didn’t bother digging into knowing who we are, we just had to have each other to feel that state of serenity. 

This time we got to chat a little while longer. I got to find out that he was staying here for two months as well, just like me. He told me he liked writing songs a way to express how he feel, unsaid words that no one would understand if he were to say it normally. “Then what about the song you are writing now? What’s it about?” 

He retrieved his eyes back to the sunset, which colours were slowly losing their force to welcome the night. “It’s a work in progress. It doesn’t have a specific meaning to it either. I’m using my time spent here fully to know what to write, which is why I’m planning to add in new lyrics when I feel like it till the end of this trip.” I hummed in reply. Though I didn’t fully understand what he meant or what he was doing that for, I carried on with it anyways, wanting to hear his voice that never really broke the silence, but settled nicely in between.

“What do you think it’s going to be about?” That rhetorical question had him off guard. He didn’t answer, staring into blank space thoughtfully. “I’m not sure. But I somewhat have an idea.” He suddenly took out something out of his pocket, realising that it was his notebook and pencil from last time. He was quick to open a page and scribbled something down. His handwriting was messy and unrecognisable which made me frown slightly since I was curious as to what he wrote.

“Sorry. Something popped up in my mind for my lyrics. I had to write it down since I’m scared I’ll lose it.” He said, cracking a smile. “Can I hear it once it’s finished?”

“I think you’ll be the only person to ever hear it.”

It was three in the morning. Johnny was peacefully sleeping above me while I’m wide awake, my mind never wanting to put me to rest as the very day from years before kept repeating itself in my head. And each time it did, I felt the feelings that came with it as well like it was the first time.

Being restless and wanting something to shoot me flat out, I decided to head to the twenty four hour supermarket Johnny and I went to when we had to buy groceries for dinner. When I reached, I stood in front of the entrance, clueless. Again I didn’t know what I came here for. I just wanted to get anything that’ll take my mind off it. I walked in, and there was barely anyone to be seen. Only the cashier who seemed to be sleeping on his stool. I took quiet steps, not wanting to disrupt his sleep since I knew how hard it was working the night shift, especially as a high school student.

I grabbed one of the worn out yellow baskets from the stack beside the counter and went straight for the chips aisle with the mentality of “Just get whatever you want and indulge yourself in it till sunrise.” I ended up dropping two bags of chips, a whole bunch of milk chocolate bars, specifically Cadburry and KitKat. I wasn’t too scared about them melting since it’s always extremely cold here at night.

I wondered around the supermarket, thinking of what else I could get. I ended up going to the wine aisle, rows and rows of different kinds wine bottles that I’ve never seen or heard of. I wasn’t like those high schoolers that gets drunk every weekend so I didn’t have the widest knowledge on it. The only one I could recognise was the one that Johnny’s friends bought once when they had a sleepover at our house. Me being curious I tried it with the tiniest of drops the bottle had left after they went to sleep. I remembered it to taste fine and didn’t have an impact on me at all since my intake of it was just mere drops. 

I grabbed it off the shelf with a lazy hand but gripped onto properly when I forgot for a moment that the bottle was heavy. I placed it inside the basket that was at the end of the aisle when headed for the cash register. “ID?” He asked after scanning the rest of the items and placing them into a plastic bag.

“Here.”

I flinched and jumped around. I was met with his body close to mine. I leaned back in shock, my eyes protuberant at the sudden appearance of him. “What are you-” 

He handed the cashier his ID. “Thanks dude.” He said, handing me the bottle of wine while he carried the plastic bag. He looked down on me, raising a soft smile. ‘Let’s go.” He held my wrist and walked me out of the supermarket. When we got out I was met with the cold air. I was too lazy to wear a jacket and now I’m somewhat regretting about leaving the trailer with just my sweater. “And how did you end up here?” I asked with curiosity, stopping after we walked a few steps. “I wanted to buy some midnight snacks.” He then lifted the plastic bag in front of him. “But I guess I don’t need to do that.” 

I chuckled, glaring at him and faking my exasperation. “It’s not meant for you.” I joked, hugging the bottle of wine in my arms as I walked with him catching up and matching my steps beside me. “The rocks?” He asked, head tilted as he sped up in front me and began walking backwards. “You know it.” 

We were at the rocks again, same place, same atmosphere. “Are you going to offer me food like you did last time at the party?” He questioned me in a cheeky tone, a soft giggle following after. I adverted my attention from the sky and to him. He was wearing a thick grey hoodie, hood on that covered his face, which made me sad for a moment, not being able to admire his face. 

“Should I?” I asked back with a slight smirk, digging out a Cadbury bar from the bag and opening it. It still felt cold to the touch. Before wanting to take a bite, I sighed playfully and handed it to him. “There.” He looked down at it for a moment. Instead of dipping down to take a bite, he held my thing wrist, his fingers curling around it gently with his cold palm against my skin. That simple touched sent an electric shock throughout my whole body, as if he’s a lightning that had struck me with the simplest of things.

He guides the chocolate bar in my hand to my lips, pushing at my bottom lip with the end of the bar. “It’s fine. It’s yours anyways.” He whispered, letting go and leaning back with his hands supporting him from behind. I blinked twice, one to my lips where the chocolate bar was still on my lips, and the other to him. My body froze and I couldn’t move. I simply stared at him as he closed his eyes. Soon the chocolate started to melt at the contact of my lips, making me take a bite and licking my bottom lip.

“So...” He started, head tilted back but his eyes fluttered open to look at me. “What were you doing at the supermarket buying junk food at three in the morning.” I glanced down at my phone when he mentioned the time. 3:20AM. Why does time move by slowly when I’m with him? It feels as if the world’s telling me to enjoy such moments like these while I can. It was kind enough to slow down time for me.

I didn’t give an answer, my mind going back and forth as I contemplated on whether to tell him. In the end, I did. It’s not like he’ll remember what I say anyways. “Today’s the day my first love broke up with me.” I confessed, smacking my lips and nodding my head. “That’s... sad.”

With a chuckle, I bit down on the chocolate bar. “That’s not even half of what makes this day so depressing.” I sighed loudly, running a hand through my hair that got tangled due to the strong wind. “I found out that he wasn’t normal. He had a problem that didn’t allow him to feel anything. Pain, happiness... and also love.”

I looked to him. He had a blank expression. I couldn’t tell what he thought about it. Yet, he kept silent, in a way to tell me to continue if I had anything more to say. I exhaled sharply before resuming. “So he didn’t love me at all. Not a single drop of it. I remembered when he told his friend one night at an abandoned house that he never loved me. He never felt anything towards me. I was hiding behind a wall. I felt so stupid that I quietly removed myself from the house and ran to the farthest place I could go to.”

Unconsciously, my tears started to well up in my eyes, my vision starting to get blurry as I brought my hand up, fingers shaking tremendously as I took a bite of my almost-finished chocolate bar. “I couldn’t sleep since my mind kept making me think about. It’s not him that’s made me hate that day, but the fact that all the days before that were the happiest times of my life. So to find out that it was all fake...”

My voice began cracking under the pressure. I could feel it all coming at me in one go, in one giant wave. I broke down, my tears instantly flowing out like rivers as I covered my mouth, wanting to muffle out my cries. I suddenly felt an arm around my shoulders, pulling my body close as he began to embrace me, eventually wrapping both arms around me and letting me sink into his warmth. I gripped onto his hoodie and balled my fists, my face digging deeper into the fabric.

“Sh... It’s okay, it’s okay.” He whispered ever so softly as he placed his chin on top of my head and rubbed my back. “Johnny took me here knowing that. I guess he hoped that I won’t remember it while I’m here.” I croaked out, gulping and taking in deep breaths.

As I began to calm down, I started to think about how gentle he is. He hugged me as if I was a fragile sensitive baby that he had to protect at all costs. He hugged me as if giving me comfort was his only main purpose. His warmth and touch curled around me like a fluffy blanket, a place I’d never want to leave.

Though I was done crying, I stayed there in his arms that held me perfectly. He didn’t bother pulling away either, as if he too didn’t want to let go. “Do you want me to make you forget?” He asked softly, pulling away slightly with his hand still on my back while I had mine on his chest. I let out a weak chuckle. “Can you?”

He laughed for a short moment. “I’ll be...” He looked up thoughtfully. “Your fairy godmother.” He flashed a cheeky smile that got me to burst out laughing. “My fairy godmother? I’m not Cinderalla.”

“But I’ll give you a day like the ball night. I’ll grant you whatever you want, and we can do anything you’d like. How’s that sound?” I looked into his eyes after my laughter died down. His eyes were the softest thing I’ve seen in a person affer a long time. It was filled with gentleness and kindness, perhaps even love that could cover the entire world.

“Perfect.”

We planned to meet the next day at the rocks. We didn’t have a clear idea of what we’re going to do though we freed our entire day for this. But that’s the beauty of the idea, isn’t it? Having to wonder around without a clear goal in mind. Sailing in the ocean’s wave without a destination, and having the waves do its thing to take you to wherever it wants you to be.

He came walking towards me with a tropical button up and light washed jeans along with slippers. My eyes can never take themselves off his blue hair. It’s seriously the second thing to stand out the most other than his face. “Hey.” He called out, lifting a hand up to wave. I took a few steps to him, wearing a happy smile. “What should we do first?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that? You know this place better than me.” He chuckled nervously, rubbing his palm against the back of his neck while the other was shoved into the pocket of his jeans. “Mm I have plenty of nice places to show you.”

He leaned forward, meeting me at my eye level as our eyes locked sights. My heart started to race quickly and I felt the heat rushing to my cheeks. Looking at him upclose, he really was more good looking that I thought he was. How did anyone this attractive even existed in the world? My stomach started churning out butterflies that fluttered uncontrollably and my eyes got wary, switching from looking at his one eye to the other.

“Can you handle it all in one day?” I blinked my eyes rapidly as his words hit me. Wanting to not show him my seemingly embarrassed face, I pushed him away by his arm, turning around. “Try me!” I shouted, laughing as I ran away. I placed my palms on my cheek. They were definitely burning. I scrunched up my face at the thought. I heard him running from behind, catching up to me quickly with an adorable giggle.

We ended up going to many places that day. He took me to places that I never even knew existed since I didn’t bother exploring far alone. Days and weeks flew by, our meetups began to be more spontaneous and impromptu. One moment one of us would be hanging out by ourselves and the other would suggest to go on a full blown adventure the next.

“You never tell me you had such dance moves!” I said, panting heavily as I placed both my hands on the sides of my hips to catch a breather. “I mean I do dancing as a side hobby to writing music.” He breathed out. I punched him on the arm, pouting with angry eyes. “I’m never playing with you again! You absolutely trashed me.” I grumbled, folding my arms. He laughed and held both my hands. “Don’t get all grumpy with me when you defeated me at the arcade hundreds of times.” He rolled in eyes in exasperation.

“Well you’re right. But you forced me to give you my plushies!” I shouted as he pulled my close with a tug of my wrists. “I’ll give them back once they starts to smell like me.” He gave off a playful wink as he giggled with mischief. I scoffed loudly and threw him a sharp glare. “Mm sure.”

“This cake is so...” “Fluffy!”

I didn’t even need him to finish my sentence. He read my mind as the two of us hummed in satisfaction, letting ourselves sink into the cake’s flavour and taste like a bath. “Thanks for giving me the idea to try the strawberry flavoured cake.” He said with immense greatfulness as he closed his eyes, a happy child-like smile plastered on his face.

“I’m surprised you never tried it despite coming here often. It’s my favourite flavour.” I smiled to myself and took a sip of plain water. With my lips still on the straw, I looked to him who looked so bright. “Can we get ice cream later?” I raised both my brows and gaped my mouth open. “We’re having cake and now you want ice cream?! You have such a sweet tooth.”

“I’ll treat you to strawberry ice cream.” I slammed my palm faced down on the table. “Deal.”

“You’re at a beach and you can’t even swim!” He shouted as he swam farther into the sea while I stood in the water that only came up my chest area. “Don’t leave me!” I cried out, watching him swim around happily while I was too scared to take another step that would lead me the water level rising up to my neck.

I turned around for a moment and when I looked back, he was gone. I didn’t know where he was but I simply assumed that he was swimming under water. I didn’t find this fun at all. He kept teasing me constantly while he forced me to change into a swimming costume that we had to buy today itself since I never thought of bringing one in the first place.

Just when I wanted to make my way back on the shores, I felt something grab my ankle. Out of pure shock and fear, I screamed at the top of my lungs and tried running away, which failed instantly as I fell into the waters. Scared, I scurried around trying to get my head above for air.

I was suddenly supported with a hand around my waist. He got out of the water, splashing some on me as he flicked his hair back. He pulled me closer, hands still around me waist with a look of worry in his eyes. “A-Are you okay? I’m sorry for scaring you like that.” His eyes were shaky as he looked my face. I stared back, placing my hands comfortably on his arms. I had to wrap my legs around his hips since I wasn’t tall enough to touch the sand.

“You’ll regret doing that once we get out of here.” I retorted, clinging onto his body since I was that scared. “Alright, alright. But I’m going to teach you how to swim. How can you not know?” We made our way back to the shore with him struggling to carry my body. I found it cute how he tried to mask the fact that he looked like dropping me with each step. “My family don’t go out doing stuff, you know? We’re just at home most of the time.”

“That’s a disappointment. Be glad that you got me to teach you basic survival skills.” I gaped my mouth open widely, scoffing. “Shut up.” I pushed him away by the chest only to have him come at me with his laughter, which only made me laugh in response.

How was it already my last two days here? Johnny reminded me to pack up my stuff before I left to meet him yet again. This time we promised to spend the entire day together, morning till night, never leaving the other’s side till the last minute.

“You’re leaving after me?” I questioned, head on his shoulder while his arm wrapped around my waist that sat perfectly. “Yeah.” He simply replied in a gentle voice, the two of us staring up to the night sky, looking at the stars that we spent pointing out and making up our own constellations with them.

“Hygge is still shining brightly.” I whispered, pointing upwards and drawing its made up constellation. “It’s shining because of how we’re at peace right now.” He brought a hand up to my head, carassing it lovingly as he threated his fingers through my hair, expertly getting rid of its knots.

“About the song...” I turned my head to him, humming. “I’ll have it done by tonight and sing it for you tomorrow before you leave.” I dug my face deeping into the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent that I grew to get used to very quickly during my stay here. “I’m glad I’ll finally be able to hear it. Can you still not tell me what it’s about?” I whined softly, putting on a frown that made him chuckle.

“You can figure that out instantly once I sing it to you so don’t worry. I’m not some philologist.” He slowly dipped in to plant a light kiss on the crown of my head, his lips staying there while I could only assume he had his eyes closed to take in one of our last moments together before we part ways.

The next day I went to the rocks first thing in the morning. He was sitting there, guitar in hand, his legs dangling over the edge. He wore his white tee again, resembling what he wore the first day I met him. I didn’t know why, but every moment I had with him kept reminding me of the first time we met. He came at me out of the blue, yet he didn’t need to do much to makd an impression that stuck on me.

“Alright. Play it now, play it now!” I said, immediately after sitting down next to him. He turned his gaze to me, laughing as he flashed his eye smile that I absolutely adore. “Jeez calm down first!” He strummed on his guitar, taking a moment to check if everything’s ready. He then looked to me, his wide smile growing into a softer and smaller one as he began to play.

The more I listened, the more I realised what he meant by the fact that I’ll know what it was about. Or rather, who. It was about me, about us. He sang about our trips and outings, and everything about me. From being the most beautiful being to the weirdest, he sang about it all. My heart ached in the most amazing way possible. It fluttered as I felt the love and sincerity expertly imbued into each note, each word he sang. He didn’t break his eyes off me either, as if opening my soul with his voice that only drew me in deeper into his being that I knew all too well, but also didn’t.

I knew him, head to toe, front to back. I knew him well like my favourite book where the plot, characters, the plot twists were all etched in my brain. I didn’t even need to think to know what happened next. That’s how much I knew him in the span of two months. Yet, I never knew basic information about him. His name, age, where he went for education. We silently decided not to tell that information of ours to the other, simply thinking that we’re strangers that have known each other for years.

That was the last time I saw him. After that day till the moment Johnny drove our trailer away. He never left my mind and it was only then when the beach left my view that I started to feel the regret of not asking him who he was. Why was I so stupid not to ask? For forgetting that we’ll part ways and never meet again unless we had some form of connection. Why did we spend time together in our made up dream thinking that for a moment fate would bring us together when we’ve completely forgotten about reality hitting us right after?

I was at the lecture hall for my art major. It felt as if a whole year went by just from listening. I glanced down at my phone. Ten more minutes. On top of my coursework which I had to hand in by week nine, there was also going to be an exam on the study of visual arts. I hope to at least get some rest before I push through how many all-nighters just to get it all done and over with.

Finally our professor ended his lecture. The lecture hall now filled with sounds of everyone keeping their materials and heading straight for the door. I decided to hold back for awhile, not wanting to have to push myself through the large crowd trying to get out through the small doors. Majority of the people have already exited after I scrolled through my phone and just as I was about to stand up to leave, I heard a loud slam on my table. I instantly turned to it. There was a sticker on my table. I looked up and scanned my surroundings, wondering who pasted it there. A guy in a black hoodie with his hood on zoomed past me at the back since I sat at the last row, making his way to the exit and leaving.

I adverted my attention back to the weird sticker that was being pasted on my table by God knows who. I was able to peel it off from the table since the adhesive on it wasn’t strong. I gripped it in between my index and middle finger, bringing it up close to my face. “DNYL...?” I whispered to myself, reading the letters that were large and in a red cursive font that was dripping from the bottom in a heart. I blinked my eyes rapidly, proceeding to turn it around so that I could look at it from all angles. There’s nothing else, nothing to tell me who gave the weird sticker to me.

I stuck it on the back of my phone, not knowing exactly where to place it. Throughout the day I kept glancing at it with a bunch of questions surfacing each time. I was now back at the dorms. The first thing I did was opened up my computer to search up whatever the hell DNYL stood for. But nothing popped up. I started to think it was something that’s within the school. Some kind of club? Or an organisation?

I’ve thought about it for so long that the time I had to rest had already passed by and now I had to start work. “What the hell even is this?” I questioned myself yet again before throwing my phone to my bed and began taking out my art materials to resume my coursework.

The next day I was sitting in the hall before lecture started, my eyes glued to the door as I tried to find whoever that gave me the sticker. They had to be taking this course to be here anyways. But, the longer I stared at the door, the longer I thought to myself “Why did I even think that he’ll wear the same hoodie as yesterday?” I shook my head, placing chin on the palm of my hand as I let out a quiet sigh. A few poeple were wearing black hoodies, but they weren’t like the one I saw yesterday. They didn’t have that body type either.

I scratched my head, fully distressed about this trivial matter that I shouldn’t even be questioning much about, especially when I had a whole workload of things to do that is way more important than some sticker. Yet, my curiosity could never seem to shake it off. Nothing has happened after that. No stickers, weird guy, nothing. However, my senses were always on the edge, ready to catch the person if I were to ever encounter myself with the same sticker.

Due to my roommate suddenly having a party at our dorm with her group of friends, I decided to head over to the study café, not wanting to be stuck in my room and having to deal with the noise from outside. During my time there, hours have already passed by. It has always been like this whenever I do art. So much time yet so little accomplishments. Luckily I was able to complete what I wanted to for tonight and decided that it was a good time to look for books that could help me with my research for my study of visual arts assignment which would eventually lead to my exam.

I head down to the first floor where the library was. It was dark and secluded with only the lamp from the desk being the only thing that illuminated a small part of the library. I took silent steps to the bookshelves, my eyes scanning up and down with my finger following it as I tried finding a book. I was about to switch to the other side of the shelve when something at the side caught my eye. I stopped in my tracks and turned a sharp ninety degrees.

Just below the sign that indicated the books’ genre, there was a familiar shape. Slowly, I took out my phone and turned on the flashlight. As expected, it was the heart shaped sticker again. It had the same design, same letters. This time however, it looked worn out, like it’s been here for more than a year with his edges fraying like someone tried to tear it off, along with the discolouration.

“What even...” I whispered to myself. Upon further inspection with squinted eyes, there was something that resembled a quote that was placed along the rim of the sticker. “Don’t.... your. What does it say?” I couldn’t help but wonder, the fraying of the edges mot giving me a chance to even guess what the quote was.

With this new information, I laying on my bed, still in my pyjamas and not wanting to leave my bed till afternoon since I had no classes for the day. I turned my phone to the back where the sticker was. There wasn’t any quote on it like the one at the library. Whenever I tried thinking of possibilities of what the full quote could mean, I could only assume “Don’t Need Your Love.” to be the only plausible answer.

“Hey, Sierra?” I asked the moment she came walking in after she was done showering. She turned around, the small towel draped over her head while drying her hair. “Is there perhaps... a fraternity here called DNYL?” She turned to me, eyebrows furrowed. “You don’t know about what happened?”

I copied her expression. “What do I not know?” She turned to the full length mirror beside her bed as she grabbed her earrings off her dressing table. “My senior said it used to be a fraternity for anyone that doesn’t want to be in love. Basically for those who’ve been through heartbreaks and shit or anything related to love that they don’t want to associate themselves with.”

“But the college thinks that it’s not something to be promoted so they disbanded the fraternity.” Sierra shrugged while wearing her earrings. Her eyes trailed from herself and to me, the reflection of myself looking at her. “Why’d you ask though?”

I gulped, shaking my head and cracking a soft smile. “It’s nothing.” I whispered, looking down to my phone case with the sticker. I forced a smile, looking back up and seeing Sierra grab her bag. “Have fun during lecture.” She laughed and nodded her head. “Have fun resting while I suffer.” With that, she left the dorm.

I went on with my day and decided to not be lazy and actually make my own breakfast instead of ordering the unhealthy McDonald’s breakfast like I do every morning. At the kitchen, it felt quiet. Too quiet for my liking, with only the sound of the pan sizzling the moment I added the pancake batter to be heard. It wasn’t like the silence at the beach. The silence I shared with him. Nothing could compare to that. I felt lonely, and distant.

My mind slowly trailed back into my memories of him. I began to remember the song he sang to me on my last day, remembering the tune and every lyric. Like I said, he never left my mind. Him and everything that went along with the trip was just filed in the back of my mind. It was only now that it began to surface as I started to feel the emptiness of his absence. Not being able to bear it, I turned to my phone and switched on the radio, specifically our college’s radio studio that has their own podcast airing every morning. I never really bothered listening to it till now.

“Alright, we’re going to have a short break so let’s enjoy this song called Don’t Need Your Love by NCT DREAM together before we talk about our next topic.” I didn’t pay attention to his words at first, it came in one ear and went out the other, being too focused on getting my pancakes to not burn. Due to my lack of cooking experience, this part of getting it to cook really got me anxious and on full concentration mode.

The song began to play, and it was cathy. The rhythm had my bobbing my head while I had my eyes cautiously looking at the pancakes. You think it’s my heart you’re holding. You still think you’re all that I need. I placed my pancake onto my plate, getting ready to make the next. The song began to pick up its speed, the drop coming in and making me bob my head harder due to the addictive nature it had before it hits the chorus.

I don’t need your love. Don’t need it. Don’t need it, need it no. And that’s when it hit me. The title of the song, the lyrics. Why haven’t I noticed it at all? I turned to my phone, looking at the screen that showed the same heart shaped logo the sticker had. I gaped my mouth open, immediately picking up the phone as I brought it close to my ear. I’m definitely hearing it correctly. I brought my phone in front of me. The same logo the fraternity had.

Millions of questions came up. If the fraternity doesn’t exist anymore, then why did they suddenly approach me by giving me the sticker? Were they trying to recuit new people to revive the status of the fraternity? And how was this song even playing if the college didn’t allow it to be promoted?

I'm going crazy, please, because of you. I can't sleep. What are you thinking? No, don’t say it. Aside from you. I have many other things to lean on. I don't wanna go back. My eyes widened at the voice who sang that part. It was him. It’s definitely him. It was his voice. I remembered it vividly from when he sang to me at the rocks. I couldn’t have been mistaken.

I turned off the stove, adverting my attention back to the music as I tried to listen to the rest of the song to see if I could pick up his voice again. Unfortunately, I didn’t. That was the only part I got to hear before the music stopped and the guy’s voice came back. “Um actually there was some error. That song wasn’t supposed to be played. Uh l-let’s listen to Long Flight that was written by our very own student council president Lee Taeyong, shall we?” Just like that, the music began playing.

I stood there, completely frozen. “What just happened...?” I whispered to myself, slowly putting my phone back down on the table. I lowered the music as it settled in the background while my mind went deep into my thoughts. “I couldn’t have heard it wrong. I’m sure it was him. I’m not going crazy, am I?” I paced back and forth in the kitchen, thinking if I was actually going crazy from desperately trying to figure out who he was.

I tried pushing the thought away. But it always came back no matter what I was doing, casually creeping back into my mind. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I had to know. I had to be sure. I grabbed whatever belongings I needed and headed to campus.

I brisk walked my way over to the recording studio where supposedly they recorded live for the radio. I pushed the door open, immediately greeted with the head of the radio station team, Moon Taeil, looking at me while sitting on the black swivel chair, legs crossed. “Excuse me?” He questioned, head tilted just a few degrees as his eyes looked me up and down. It felt as if I was being scrutinised by his stare.

“Um I’m sorry but I just have a quick question.” I slowly closed the door behind me and walked towards him. Looking around, there were the other members of the team sitting down at a table and discussing something. “And what’s that?” Taeil asked again with a firm tone which sent a shiver down my spine. “The song you played for the radio. Don’t need your love? Uh who was it written by... And who sang it?”

Taeil licked his lower lip, breaking his eyes off me for a moment as he looked around with uncertainty. He eventually placed both his elbows on the arm rest, arms standing up with his fingers interlocking just below his chin. “It’s written by our alumni Harvey. And who it’s sung by, I honestly don’t know. They just called themselves NCT DREAM and submitted the song anonymously for it be played.”

He lets out a loud sigh for a pause, pursing his lips into a thin line. “But I got a message form the student council that it shouldn’t be played so I had to stop it. It was a good song though.” He shrugged and ran a hand through his hair. “Oh... I see.” I whispered softly, looking down to my feet. “Is that all you need, dear?” He asked, a soft smile forming on his face as I shot my head back up from the flood. “A-Ah yes. Thank you so much.” I rushed out the door.

On my way back I kept thinking about what Taeil said, trying to connect the dots with whatever knowledge I’ve gathered. Yet, I still had other questions that were yet to be answered. Who is NCT DREAM? And why have I never heard of them during my time here in college? I wasn’t that person who’s not updated on whatever’s going on on campus anyways. Was playing that song part of their plan to promote their unofficial fraternity?

I was completely distracted for the days that followed after. I couldn’t fully concentrate while studying, the song being replayed in my head over and over again, specifically his part. The most impossible possibility came to my mind. “Is he in this college?” I lifted my head up from the papers, my eyes narrowing down to one spot on the wall. I laughed to myself and shake my head, taking a quick sip of my coffee.

“Don’t be stupid. Coincidences like that only ever happens in movies.” I looked to my phone. Slowly, I reached my hand out for it and flipped it over, my eyes meeting with the bright red sticker. “Can you please stop stressing over this? Get your priorities straight!” I half-shouted, groaning as I dropped my head on the table. My eyes began welling up and my vision got blurry as I thought of wanting to hear his voice sing me to sleep, my tears streaming down my face in a matter of seconds.

Sierra and I went our separate ways to our building departments after walking to campus together. I entered the lecture hall. It wasn’t empty as I thought it would be. More people seemed to come earlier today. Like any other day, I paid attention to my professor, taking down notes and listening attentively yet dying slowly as each minute passes by.

“Don’t forget your coursework is due in a week’s time!” He shouted one last time as everyone made their way out instantly after lecture ended. I sighed tiredly, getting up from my seat and walking to the door. This time I decided to just go with the crowd, the desperation of wanting to go back to the dorms and take a nap before driving myself insane through the night with my workload again.

I was squished between people with them bumping into me every which way. I began regretting I chose this decision. But perhaps not when I suddenly felt a hand being placed on my shoulder. I looked over my shoulder. There wasn’t anyone that looked like they relied their hand back. I tilted my head down to where they placed their hand. It was the sticker. I instantly ripped it from my jean jacket after I finally got out of the mess. I observed the crowd at walked past after leaving the hall. None of them looked suspicious in any way.

“If you’re interested, head over to the abandoned play room in basement one today once you finish lecture.” I read the note that was written over the sticker. With both brows raised, I turned back to the doors, which was now empty and secluded. I instantly nodded my head with determination as my curiosity started to fuel, walking to basement one.

Making my way there, more emotions began to dance around in my heart. I felt the excitement and hopefully satisfaction since I’ll finally be able to know whatever the heck that has been going on and I wouldn’t need to feel the stress of pondering about it any longer too. However, I also felt nervous. I didn’t know the reason for this fraternity disbanding. What if there was something more dangerous behind it? What seemed to weird me out the most is the fact that this fraternity is somehow connected to the stranger from the beach, which was probably the biggest reason for my eagerness to find out.

I’ve only been to the basement once or twice to get free art materials that have no longer been used. It was dark, secluded and eerie. The coldnees wasn’t making my journey there any better either. I got closer to the play room. The sign was glowing a bright yellow and illuminated the surrounding area. There was also light coming from the play room through the glass door. I licked my dried lips nervously and placed my hand on the door handle, entering with my heart thumping out of my chest.

The moment I entered, I was met with the eyes of four people. Six guys, to be exact. They stared at me, and I stared back. It was complete silence while I had a staring competition with them. “Ah! You’re here!” I shook my head and broke eye contact with them, my attention adverted to the voice. It was another guy who came out from a door that led to another room I assumed.

“Look I’m not interested in joining. Just curious about something.” I put it out there immediately before they tried to do anything that’ll persuade me. All of them gave weird looks. A look that said “You didn’t even bother giving us a try.” The guy walked up to me, bringing his hand up in front of me. “I’m Haechan.” He introduced himself with a bright smile, just like the sun.

“_____.” I forced a smile. Though I was here for answers, I didn’t expect to be in the presence of five guys. If I’m being honest, they did look familiar. Students that I’ve probably seen only once then never again. “Who was the one that gave me the sticker?” I immediately turned to the others sitting on the couch. Haechan placed his hands on his hips and scoffed. “Jeno did you seriously used the sticker method?”

Another guy that had a smaller figure but looked tall with blonde hair gaped his mouth open, looking to his mates as they all stared down on him with looks of disappointment. “I did it like how Harvey recruited us.” Jeno retorted nonchalantly. “But that’s not a good- Urgh who am I kidding we had other jobs to do anyways” Another guy came to view. He was another blonde head. “Guys! Stop the fighting.” Haechan shouted beside me. His scream making everyone flinch, especially one who almost fell off from the couch.

“Can someone please explain what is this unofficial fraternity and why was I even pulled into this mess?” “Renjun go.”

“Huh?” Haechan looked to another that had a smaller figure than Jeno. “Explain.” He arched a brow and scoffed. “You’re getting a beating from me later for bossing us around just cause’ you’re the head.” Renjun rolled his eyes and stood up, going to what seemed like a projector and turning it on. “Oh before we get to that, that’s Jisung and Chenle, Biology department. Renjun, Psychology department. Mark, Science department. Jeno, art department and I’m part of the History department. Then...” Haechan introduced them one by one, pointing to each of them but stopped, making me look up at him with an arched brow.

“Jaemin’s not here again?” Mark asked, pinching the nose of his bridge while shaking his head. “Don’t tell me-”

“He’s either sleep deprived, going crazy or staying up for another three days with his fifth cup of four shots espresso coffee.” Jeno finished Haechan’s sentence easily. I gaped my mouth open, scoffing in disbelief. “F-Four shots of espresso?!” I half-shouted, my hand on its way to shut my jaw close.

The room was filled with sighs and groans of disappointment due to their mate’s reason for his absence in the play room. “Who’s Jaemin...?” I asked curiously. “I swear he comes to our meetings like never.” Chenle grumbled, clearly ticked off. I took in my surroundings. The tension suddenly became tough and firm after the so-called “Jaemin” was mentioned. I began to wonder what was it about this person that got his members to be so worked up other than not attending the “fraternity’s” meetings.

“Wait. Jeno’s in the art department?” I turned to the guy who had his head phone, looking at his phone before shooting back up to me. “Oh, yeah. I am.” I clicked my tongue. “Never knew you existed till now.” Jeno placed his phone on the table before meeting my eyes again. “Means I’m doing my job well.”

“I’ll force him here next meeting. Anyways, he’s in the architect department. He usually needs to stay up to complete his assignments. Explains his extreme addiction for coffee and staying up for days on end.” Haechan made known, trying to sound reassuring. I simply nodded my head, turning to the screen that projected a video that has yet to be played. It showed someone standing on a stand, leaning into the small mic in front of him. Haechan nodded his head to Renjun, signaling the video to be played. With a press of a button, the video began.

“Mic check 1,2,1,2. Can you hear me?” He had blonde hair and wore a red jacket. “Dear fellow students. The sun is shining, it’s a beautiful day. So the reason I’ve turned on this mic today is to talk about the coolest club on our campus. DNYL, Don’t Need Your Love.” He motioned his hand to the screen that showed their logo, along with a group photo of people I didn’t recognise.

“Now, for those that have been dumped, had a breakup or dealing with a broken heart, this is the perfect club for you.” He paused for a moment, scanning his eyes over the crowd as if wanting to engage each and every one of them.

“Have you been cheated on? Do you feel down from all this unrequited love? Are you tired of waiting for that call from your ex? I definitely am.” A bright smile began to crack on his face. “Well, there’s no more of that. You don’t need any more worries and simply let it all go with us. So let’s just have a great time. DNYL, come join our club, and let’s have some fun!” Just like that, the video ended.

“That’s Harvey, our senior.” Haechan pointed his finger to the guy on screen before dropping his hand back down on his side. “The club immediately got disbanded. His batch was the last one to have the club being official.”

“We want to carry on with his club. He recruited all of us, randomly pasting stickers on our desks and chests before he graduated, hoping we’d rise it up again.” Haechan folded his arms as he explained further. I nodded my head as the information sank in. “Then... Why am I being recruited?” I asked the most important question.

Renjun walked up to me, standing firm with placing his weight on one leg, hands shoved into his jean jacket. “Because we’ve noticed how you seem to look like a sore loser during the whole of your time here.”

“Renjun! That’s rude.” Jisung cried out, shaking his head with a big frown. Renjun simply shrugged at his friend’s comment. “Bold of you to assume I’m being a sore loser because of love.” I cocked a brow, which resulted in Renjun looking away for a moment scoffing before locking his intimidating eyes onto mine. “Then why are you a sore loser?”

I couldn’t reply. I was fully taken aback. He was right. Ever since I began college, though my life has been fine for the most part, I was lost. In a daze, in a blank space of nothingness. As if I was being put in a huge desert with no map and no guidance. I didn’t bother making friends either. I had a neutral relationship with everyone in my major, but never one that I’d consider and actual friend. I was lonely. Too lonely to the point where I didn’t feel anything else. I was simply stagnant. And it was all because of him.

“That’s what I thought.” Renjun went back to the couch with a smug smirk on his face, plopping himself in between Chenle and Jisung. “But why have I never seen you guys before?” I questioned. “Because we’re trying to keep a low profile while promoting so the council wouldn’t catch us.” Chenle replied instantly. “Jaemin has no problem doing that. He’s holed up in his dorm twenty four seven. Literally.” Jisung commented.

“So.” Haechan turned to me sharply and confidently. I blinked my eyes rapidly at the sudden action. “Do you want to join us?” I looked around the room again. Everyone’s eyes staring at me with anticipating looks. I bit my lower lip. “I’m given time to make a decision, right?” Everyone turned their heads to each other and nodded with looks of reassurance and hope. Haechan placed a firm hand on my shoulder.

“The fact that you’re considering is already a huge thing for us.”

I was in deep thought late at night, sitting at my study table with the tip of my pen in between my lips as I bit down it, thinking long and hard about joining the club.

It seemed like a good place. Though it felt extremely intimidating, I picked it up from the get-go that they’re extremely close with each other, meaning that their love for the club is stronger than ever. Throughout, I couldn’t stop thinking of him. And the more I did, the more I began to realise that I’ve been holding onto someone that could possibly never cross paths with me ever again. I was holding on so tightly to the impossible, blinding myself with delusion to the point where I even considered the fact that he could be in this school.

I couldn’t be holding on forever. I had to let go. I needed to accept the fact that he’s someone I’ll meet once in a life time, that short period of time where that person has given me a heaven that could never stay forever. I’ll force myself to let go, leave it all behind, and move on.

Though I thought I already had my mind made up, I ended up staying in bed for the rest of the day. The plushie I won with him during the trip on one hand, my phone with Haechan’s contact number on the other, waiting for my thumb to press the call button and confirm my recruitment. I thought I could forget, but I never. It never went away, my memories of him. But it always made me crave for him when he’s not there, only making me suffer on the bitter end. I kept telling myself that maybe I’ll slowly let go when I join the club. I was having a battle in my mind, a whole warzone playing out as my contemplation settled comfortably in my mind as if it wasn’t doing any damage to me. 

“Fuck this.” I whispered angrily to myself, lifting my body up slightly to throw the plushie under my bed, laying back down and giving Haechan a call. No turning back, I guess. Haechan told me to meet at the play room with the others right after our classes. They didn’t have an exact meet up time so whoever’s there first would chill and wait till the rest arrived.

I walked into the play room the next day after lecture. Seeing no one, I assumed I was the first one here. I decided to explore the play room for a bit and the first place I decided to go to was the room where Haechan came out from when I first met him. Entering the room, my jaw hung low, mouth open as I saw the sight before me.

It looked like a gaming cafe. There were arcade games on one corner, a lounging area with a comfortable looking couch with fluffy blankets and pillows, followed by smal shelf of books. There was even a large pantry on the left corner. The room was painted a bright muted yellow and the decorations made it look very aesthetically pleasing. “You like it?” I turned around, flinching slightly as Jisung came in and walked past me, holding a large box in his arms.

“Yeah. It’s quite cool actually.” I whispered, still at awe in the room I was in. I looked to Jisung who was at the pantry. He opened the box and it revealed a whole stock of small packet chips. He proceeded to take them out and place it in baskets on the pantry table. “Can I have one?” I asked. He threw me a packet, to which I had quick enough reflexes to catch in one hand.

“Looks like we’re the first ones here.” Jisung said after emptying out the box and shoving it below the table, grabbing one chip packet and opening it. “Mhm.” I replied, popping a chip in my mouth. “I’m surprised you accepted it in one day.”

I shrugged, walking to the couch and placing my tote bag down before taking a seat. Jisung followed behind me, sitting down on the empty space next to me. “I have my reasons.” I nodded firmly. I then turned to him. “If I may ask, why did you decide to join the club?” I questioned out of pure curiosity.

“Could say I have a rough time with relationships growing up. I always had crushes, people I fall for too easily. Had to constantly deal with unrequited love.” He pursed his lips into a thin line. “I actually had one girl in college that I liked. But when I found out she completely fooled me I had a breakdown at the back of the school.” Jisung took in a deep breath before continuing. “That was when Harvey came up to me and talked about DNYL. I have never regret joining.” He lets out a soft chuckle.

“I’m glad you’ve found your place here.” I complimented amicably. “I’m sure you’ll fit right in with us.” He flashed a kind and soft smile that didn’t make me hesitate to reciprocate the gesture. “Ah shoot!” Jisung rose up from the couch. I looked up at him with a surprised expression. “What’s wrong?”

“I need to drag Jaemin here.” Jisung groaned out loud, running a hand through his hair and ruffling it on the crown of his head. “Actually- I’ll just let Jeno handle him.” Jisung said. “But I’m craving for some coffee. Want me to get you anything?” I gave an eye smile in response. “Strawberry tea would be nice.” Jisung breathed a chuckle and downshifted his head. “Alright. Be right back!” Jisung ran to the door and exited, closing the door carefully and quietly.

I smacked my lips, my fingers unconsciously digging into the packet as I continuously shoved chips into my mouth like a machine. I finished it within minutes and threw it in the dustbin. Not knowing what to do, I decided to get my laptop out and finish whatever I can for my coursework. and doing more research. I realised that there was a speaker on the table and decided to use it, blasting hyped songs for me to vibe through my work.

“Jaemin!” Jeno shouted as he slammed the door to Jaemin’s dorm wide open. Jeno stared at Jaemin. He’s in his grey hoodie and sweatpants that Jisung assumed he never changed out of. He had cups and cups of empty Starbucks all laid across the table along with his stacks of paper. Jaemin had his body leaned against the easel where the large piece of paper that had his layout propped on it.

Jeno huffed, walking up to Jaemin and shaking his shoulder vigorously. “Jaemin, wake up. How long have you been like this?” Jeno asked worryingly. Jaemin fluttered his eyes open halfway, looking around lazily and rubbing his eyes before his friend of five years came to view. “Time check?” Jaemin whispered, closing his eyes back for a moment.

“Wednesday, five pm. Jaemin you’ve been up for days. Get some rest at the play room, will you?” Jeno pouted looking at his friend who was completely worn out to the core and obviously concerned for his health due to the amount of coffee he’s been indulging himself in for the past three days.

Jaemin sighed, pulling his hood down and looking at Jeno, forcing a sincere smile to make him look the slightest bit awake. “Can I skip today’s meeting? I can just sleep here.” Jaemin forced himself out of his uncomfortable position against the easel and went for his bed, dropping his almost lifeless body onto it and sinking into the sheets. Jeno sighed quietly, smacking his lips. “Alright. Please just sleep. And clean your damn room it reeks of coffee.”

Jaemin hummed in reply, slowly nodding his head while pulling his blanket over his body and getting comfortable. “I’m just about done with my project. Maybe two more weeks? Then I’ll be back to normal so tell them to not worry about me.” Jeno scoffed, walking over to the bed and sitting down on the edge. “I think they’re more furious than worried, Nana. They kept complaining when you weren’t there yesterday.” Jaemin exhaled sharply, shaking his head. “How’s the promotion coming along?”

Jeno glanced upwards thoughtfully before answering. “It’s... I don’t know. We tried playing our song on college radio but Lee Taeyong called it off halfway and played his song instead. But! We have a new member.” Jaemin’s eyes shot open at the mention of new members. He looked at him, blinking his eyes rapidly. “How many?” “One.” Jeno quickly answered, making Jaemin let out a ‘tsk’ and closing his eyes back. “Just one? Harvey was able to recruit all of us in one go.”

“Tell that to jisung.” Jeno scoffed. “But I mean at least it’s a girl.” Jeno folded his arms and shrugged nonchalantly. Jaemin furrowed his brows. “Girl? Isn’t DNYL suppose to be an all boys club?” Jeno rolled his eyes at his friend’s comment. “Change of rules now that Haechan’s head. Plus, it’s not just the guys that have a rough time with relationships. Girls suffer too. And the club will help them.” Jaemin scoffed in reply. “He used the sticker method?” Jeno hummed in reply.

“And I wonder just what is the girl’s reason for joining the club.”

Jeno raised a brow at his friend, who now seemed to be wide awake and intrigued due to the conversation. “I mean barely know her enough to ask but maybe she will if all members come by.” “Yeah no.” Jeno groaned and rose up from the bed, making his way for the door. He turned to Jaemin, who already had his eyes closed with his chest going up and down soothingly

“Don’t continue being like this, Nana...” Jeno whispered, glancing to Jaemin one last before going out and closing the door behind him.

Once Jaemin heard the door close, he got up, sitting straight and leaning his back against the headboard supported by pillows. After staring into blank space for a moment, he slowly reached for his guitar that was propped beside his bed. He began to strum mindlessly while deep in thought.

Jaemin’s fingers got ready after he made sure that the guitar sat comfortably on his lap. He began to play a common tune, not knowing what song to play. But it didn’t take long for his fingers to play the tune of the song he wrote for her, as if they had a mind of its own. But he couldn’t sing it. It pained him too much that he never saw her again after that trip.

“Fuck I’m stupid.” Jaemin whispered after singing a lyric with a shaky voice, lips quivering with each word being sung out. He leaned his head back on the headboard, biting his lower lip hard to hold back his tears as he continued to strum, his being slowly crashing down and falling apart at the thought of her. 

After about slightly more than half an hour later, Jisung came back with our drinks, followed by the rest of the members entering behind. “Thanks.” I said, taking the tea that Jisung handed out to me. Everyone gathered around in a circle around the couch, some jamming to the song I was playing. But I decided to stop it since I didn’t want to seem rude and have it as a distraction during our time together.

“Jaemin’s sleeping?” Renjun asked. Jeno nodded his head in reply, lips puckered. “He looked so drained and dead. He said that he’ll be done with his project in two weeks time so I guess he’ll be there by then.” Jeno said, leaning back and having his body supported with his two hands behind him. 

“Don’t you think there’s something going on with him though?” Mark questioned, which suddenly led the room to complete silence for a split second before Jisung coughed to break it. “Well we don’t know for sure. Jeno, do you know?” All eyes turned to Jeno. I could only listen and take in information, not knowing the context behind the conversation.

“No. He doesn’t even want to tell me though I’ve been his friend for five years.” Jeno explained. “What’s wrong with Jaemin...?” I asked nervously, afraid if my question was too disrespectful or an invasion of privacy. The air that surrounded us was thick, as if everyone’s on edge and not thinking straight. It didn’t take me long to realise that Jaemin has always been a big factor of this club, having the ability to put his club in such a state even with his absence. 

Haechan licked his lips, looking around as if trying to come up with a way to phrase his answer. “He... Ever since the start of college, we just feel as if he’s here, but also not.” Haechan paused for a moment, taking in a deep breath. “He never shared why he wanted to join this club. I mean clearly we want to know but we aren’t that nosy to the point where we want to force it out of him. We respected the fact that he didn’t want to share.”

“But we always felt that it was something that impacted him greatly because despite having us, it seems like he’s using work as a way to cope. Again explains his constant indulgence of coffee. He’s been quite closed off to us for a long time but he’s getting better... I guess.” Renjun added on. I could tell that the last part was filled with uncertainty, him not being fully satisfied with his explanation but refuses to add on any further. “He’ll come around. We can just hope. But for now...” Chenle trailed on, taking a seat next to me and wrapping a friendly arm around my shoulders. “Let’s have a fun welcome party for our new member.”

We ended up watching a movie. Specifically a scary movie after we ordered take out. “You guys are serious scaredy-cats!” Haechan laughed, taking a bite of his chicken and leaning forward closer to the TV screen while all of us had our eyes covered by the pillows we were holding up. Renjun smacked a pillow on Haechan’s head, making everyone laugh and have the room filled with lightness out of simple humour.

“Don’t act so brave, idiot.” Just then, a jumpscare came up, making everyone jump on their seats and Haechan screaming at the top of his lungs out of pure fear which made Jisung fall of the couch from shock. “Haechan!” Jisung shouted, groaning as he went back up to sit on the couch. Haechan turned around, forehead creased and face scrunched up. “Not my fault!”

“Shut up you literally acted as if you weren’t scared like one minute ago!” Chenle fired his words at full speed. And everyone, especially Mark’s laughter really lit the room’s atmosphere and making me feel a whole lot better already. Haechan told me that the club didn’t have a specific goal or anything, we were all just here to have fun, forget our problems.

It was a long night. After movie time we played arcade games, which was just all of them being extremely competitive except for me and Mark who were simply laughing in the background like spectators watching an intense scene with many complications that we couldn’t help but laugh at. We did everything that the play room offered. And throughout the whole time, I really felt happy, truly happy. I wasn’t stagnant. I actually felt the joy from hanging out with them. It’s as if I’ve forgotten the fact that I’ve felt so alone all this time, and opening up to feelings that I’ve never experienced in a long time.

I checked the time. It was one in the morning surprisingly. We all huddled around the couch, I was wrapped in the blanket while the others hugged their pillows. They dimed the lights and I swear I could doze off in any second due to the night we just had. “Hey, _____?” Jisung called out to me, making me turn to him and humming in question.

“Why did you want to join this club? I mean I know you didn’t come willingly but what made you accept our offer?” I puffed my cheeks, blowing them out after a moment. “It’s a long story but to cut it short, I met someone while I was on a trip at the beach. We connected so much. But we didn’t get each other’s names, or numbers, anything that’ll lead us back to each other once we parted ways.” I chuckled to myself, running a hand down my face.

“And I simply felt that I couldn’t be mindlessly searching for him without anything to lead on. I was wasting time, waiting for someone that’ll never come back. I guess I just wanted to join to forget.” I raised my shoulders up, the blanket covering half my face i. doing so. I would’ve cried and broke down if I were to tell the story in full. I was shocked at myself for not even breaking a tear or cracking my voice.

“How were you guys dumb enough not to exchange numbers? Even names! Isn’t that a basic thing to know about someone you just met?” Chenle asked, sounding concerned and intruiged as if wanting to know more about the whole ordeal. I laughed, shaking my head, thinking about how ridiculous it is going to sound out of my mouth.

“I don’t know how to explain exactly. But I guess we made that silent agreement to stay as strangers as a way for us to be who we want to be in front of the other without being judged one bit. We didn’t know each other’s backgrounds, so whatever we wanted to portray to the other was what the other got to see. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“But we showed, so much of ourselves to each other. Our relationship grew so deep in the span of two months. He was like... a familiarly unfamiliar stranger. If that makes any sense.” I moved all my down to fall on one shoulder, combing my hair with my fingers as I pursed my lips into a thin line.

I suddenly realised that we were in those “deep late night talk” vibes. It felt somewhat comforting, having a place where I could just let it all out. They made me feel safe and secured, everyone nodding their heads and letting my words sink in. “That’s a much more deep reason than what any of us have.” Haechan whispered, everyone nodding their heads firmly with affirmation.

“Well I can’t be dwelling on the past forever.” I smiled, one that I didn’t have to force out. “What time do you guys’ classes start tomorrow?” I asked with a raised brow of curiosity. “We all start in the afternoon.” Jisung suddenly gasped, making everyone’s heads turn to him. “Can we have a sleepover since we’re all here and cozy?” Jisung’s face lit up in such an adorable manner that made me laugh softly.

“Should we?” Jeno asked copying the smile I had on my face while we all exchanged looks. “I don’t mind. I have an eleven am lecture but I can go back to my dorm before then.” Jisung clapped his hands in excitement, shaking his body around happily. “Great!”

And that’s what we ended up doing. We kept up with the late night conversation, talking about anything and everything, going deep with our emotions and pouring it all out in our circle to be kept within us and us only. I was surprised at how much they shared with me despite it being my first day in the club but I liked that I was being trusted, it made me feel important. Eventually all of us slowly drifted off to sleep. But Jeno was wide awake. He couldn’t help but keep his eyes on the girl that had her head thrown back lazily as she snored softly in her sleep. With folded arms, his eyes narrowed down on her intensely, deep in thought.

“How am I going to tell him if it is what I think it is...?” Jeno whispered ever so softly, almost inaudible to himself. His head was spinning, countless of thoughts running through his mind. He was in a daze, not sure of what to do as if sandwiched between two options that he so desperately want to remove himself out of but can’t, for his best friend.

Digging deeper, he began to wonder what would be the aftermath of the different options he had laid out in front of him. This only sent him further down into the loophole of contemplation and confusion, not to mention the fact that he might be late for classes now due to staying up this late.

Morning came. I woke up, eyes half opened and just barely awake. I looked at the time on my phone. 9:05. Perfect amount of time for me to head back and get ready before class. I looked around, the room still dark due to the fact that there was little to no sunlight pssing through the cracks of the door. I slid myself out of the couch slowly and carefully. While trying go shimmy myself through the boys, I noticed a post it on Jeno’s shoulder. I leaned in, squinting my eyes to get them to focus.

“Wake me up before you head out, thanks.” My eyes flickered back and forth from the note and to Jeno who was sleeping peacefully. I puckered my lips, poking his shoulder gently. “Jeno? Wake up?” I urged with uncertainty. Jeno was quick to shoot his eyes open, glancing sideways before squinting his eyes to get his focus on me. “Thanks.” He whispered, sitting up and snatching the post-it from his arm to crumple it and throw it out in the dustbin.

“You could’ve woken up way later.” I said. Jeno hummed, running a hand through his messy hair. “I didn’t have the best sleep last night. Was scared that I’ll be late for class.” Jeno smiled softly at me, a tired but sincere smile. “Have a good day at class.” I bid him goodbye with the downshift of my head, exiting the play room and coming out of the common room to the basement.

Just as I was walking, I had my eyes glued on the floor. But I saw a figure speed walked pass. I glanced over my shoulder, the figure disappearing in a flash as they took a turn and entered the play room. I stopped for a moment, taking slow steps backwards till I reach the door, eyes squinting as I tried to think about who the person was. I peeked my head ever so slightly, not being able to get a clear look due to the darkness. However, I could tell it was a guy wearing a loose hoodie and sweatpants. Having his hood on, his identity was completely concealed from the world’s view.

“Jaemin? What are you doing here. Go sleep at-” A slam of the door was heard right after, cutting Jeno’s words off entirely with the room falling silent again. I blinked my eyes rapidly. “That was Jaemin?” I asked myself, slowly walking in the direction I was headed before.

In the play room, Jaemin dropped himself face first into the couch that was empty now that she’s gone. Jeno pushed Jaemin’s leg to give him space to sit at the edge. “Why’re you here? I told you to sleep in your dorm where it’s comfortable-”

“I just wanted to sleep with you guys here.” Jaemin cut the other’s words quickly with a mutter. Jeno rolled his eyes, looking at how Jaemin had his hood up so much that it was covering half of his face. “You do know that _____ just left, right? Didn’t you see her on your way here?” Jaemin gave a light shrug, hugging himself with his arms wrapped around his torso.

“_____? Note taken. I genuinely didn’t care enough to notice.” Jaemin replied with much ignorance. Jeno clicked his tongue, shaking his head at his friend’s behaviour. “Jaemin, she’s a new member. At least talk to her soon. Also...” Jeno began, making Jaemin look to him slowly with uncertainty. One word from Jeno and he knows it’s be something serious. “You obviously won’t believe me but...”

“I think she’s the one.” Jeno whispered as he stared at Jaemin, their eyes locking its contact with each other. The air between them was nothing but silence, Jaemin resonated Jeno’s words ever so carefully in his mind, making sure he heard that correctly.

“Don’t be ridiculous. No one can be her.” Jaemin shot back with full denial, refusing to believe Jeno.

“But Jae-”

“Please, don’t talk about her. My heart can’t bear it at all.” Jaemin’s eyes grew soft with his words. Jeno could tell that he was breaking, slowly and silently. As much as he wants to help Jaemin, he can’t do anything if he refuses it, shutting the world out and dealing with it by himself. It was big enough of a surprise that Jaemin shared what happened with Jeno. He couldn’t possibly ask for more.

“Alright. But I’ll be saying ‘told you so’ once you meet her. That I know for sure.” Jeno slouched into the couch more, closing his eyes and wanting to rest them before class later in the afternoon while Jaemin was already asleep and snoring softly.

However, despite Jaemin’s eyes being closed, his mind was wide awake with his gears turning in his head. She can’t possibly be in this college. It couldn’t have been her that he walked past mindlessly moments ago. For some reason, he wanted to fully denial it. He didn’t want to believe Jeno at all. But how could he not? Jeno’s his best friend so why would he even lie? What was the reason for Jaemin’s strong delusion? The longer he thought, the more he realised that it was maybe the fact that he was too afraid to face her if she were to ever stand in front of him. Who knows what could have happened to someone you didn’t see in years? People change, and Jaemin was afraid as to how she did.

I wasn’t over at the play room everyday. But if I was, there’d always be someone there for me to hang out with. It was only during the weekends when the whole group would gather together and spend the day free of worries to escape from their realities. Two weeks have passed, and I have yet to encounter the Jaemin that everyone kept worrying over. I was holding in my curiosity for far too long.

“Hey, guys?” I asked after placing a card down. We were playing Uno. I nudged on Mark who was sitting beside me, telling him to place a card. Everyone turned their heads to me, some humming while others had their brows raised. “When can I meet Jaemin? I’m getting quite impatient.” I said with a frown on my face, hearing Mark slamming his card down and shouting, “Plus four, Renjun!” Renjun groaned, sliding one card at a time off the center stack. “He should be here any minute now.” “What do you mean?”

“We sorta guessed that on top of his busy schedule he seems to be avoiding you. Not sure why but we had to lie that you weren’t here so that he’ll come.” Haechan shrugged, it was now his turn, putting a card down. I leaned back slightly, stretching out my back since we’ve been sitting here for hours playing different board games.

“Uno!” Just when Chenle shouted, the door flung open, our heads shooting to the direction. I couldn’t believe what stood at the doorframe. “Jaemin there you are!” Jisung wanted to run up to him but Jaemin pushed him away lightly.

I was met with his eyes. I was in too much of a shock that my mind went blank. I wasn’t able to process any of this. It’s as if time stopped the moment we locked eyes. He’s in front of me, the stranger from the beach. Many emotions began to flood my mind. It was a mix of everything. Happiness, fear, anxiousness, confusion. He’s right in front of my eyes, yet he looked so different. He had jet black hair, his style completely changed too. He had a stoic face, not like the bright and cheerful one I’ve always seen.

“So you’re Jaemin...?”

“_____...”

Jaemin took wobbly steps back, his pupils shaking with his lips quievering as he ran right out of the door. Jeno blinked his eyes rapidly and instantly chased after his best friend. The room was filled with silence, everyone’s eyes still at the door as I was still frozen stiff from whatever that just happened. It went by too fast. My blank expression didn’t show emotions that were overflowing in my small mind.

Outside, Jaemin was running as fast as he could, wanting to not belive whatever he had just seen. She was there. She was in the same room. It took him a matter of seconds to see that she hasn’t changed. He didn’t need time to look at her to know that. But that wasn’t why Jaemin was running away.

“Wait! Jaemin!” Jeno reached for Jaemin’s wrist and forcefully turned him around. “What is going on with you?!” Jeno asked, concern imbued into his tone.

“What do you think, Jeno?! She’s in the fucking room. And the reason why I joined this club was to get over her. Now you’re telling me she’s in the same club which whole purpose is to not fall in love?! H-How do you think I could even stay in that god damn room without breaking at the sight of her? I told you before. I fucking fell in love with her. And seeing her after two years, it just makes me want to fall and melt into the floor since I can’t bare to face up to her after suffering for so long at her absence next to me, okay? I just... It’s too much to handle.”

Tears were pricking Jaemin’s eyes, but for the sake of his pride, he wanted to claim that not a single one fell, releasing Jeno’s grip on him and running. He didn’t know where, all he thought about was to continue running. He couldn’t stand still, he had to do something. And that something was to run away, not wanting to accept that he has to bear all the feelings and everything that comes with having to see her more often, especially in a club where falling in love was forbidden, having it to be the whole reason for the club being made in the first place.

[writingwithacupoftea]

Poison

Summary: When Y/N Shelby arrives back from a meeting with some potential business partners, her brothers, Tommy, notices that something isn’t quite right with her.  Hours later, the family are crowded around her bedside, while she lies on the brink of death.

Word Count: 3350 (ooh, that’s satisfying)

Trigger Warnings: vomiting and just generally being ill

A/N: My stubborn arse finally managed to finish this fic (even though I edited as little as possible so it’s quite long)!! Hope you like it 💜💜

The Shelby and Gray families were not ones for quiet - they brought chaos and noise with them wherever they went. But now, not a single member of the family could bring themselves to speak, the doctor's parting words circling around in their heads:

"It's not looking good, I'm afraid. If she wakes in the morning, then I think we can say that things are looking up. But I can't promise you that she will."

Tommy couldn't decide if the silence was a blessing or curse. He was beyond grateful not to have his younger sister's screams of agony echoing down the halls of Arrow House any more, but it seemed so unnatural: Y/N wasn't the loudest of the Shelby clan, but she was always there with a sarcastic quip, witty comeback, or words of comfort that none of her other siblings could ever quite get right.

Her brothers often said that she was the future of Shelby Company Limited - Y/N had a vision and was determined to see it through with Tommy's help, for even though they disagreed frequently, he couldn't deny that her ideas could be the making of the business in the modern world. Tommy was beyond proud of the woman that he raised after their bastard of a father left them. Yes, Arthur, John and Ada had helped him and Polly with raising their sister – but no one could deny that Tommy loved Y/N in a way that none of the others ever could.

Now, he and his brother were crowded around her bedside, helpless, wondering how they could have let this happen.  

The doctor suspected poison, and although he couldn't be sure which poison it was, Tommy knew exactly who had given it to his sister and let the guilt consume him.

***

Earlier that day...

"Tommy, do I seriously have to meet them by myself?" Y/N asked as she marched into her brother's office (without knocking, of course).

"I've told you, Y/N/N, I've got a meeting of my own to go to and I don't trust Arthur and John not to fuck things up even if you are there."  

She was meant to be having lunch with some potential business partners from America, but despite Tommy's reassurances that this deal would be of benefit for their future plans for the company, Y/N had a feeling that something wasn't right about them. When she'd mentioned her suspicions that the associates may not be as friendly as they appear, Tommy brushed her concerns aside as Polly raged on at him ("Thomas you're a fool if you don't listen to your sister now – it's her gypsy instinct and it's never wrong.")  

But still, Tommy insisted on going through with it. He wasn't backing down now.

~ ~ ~

When Y/N returned later that afternoon, Tommy watched in silence as she slumped down at her desk and put her head in her hands.

"That bad was it, eh?" Tommy questioned, jokingly.

"My head's pounding, Tom, don't fucking wind me up."

Arthur, who had heard the exchange, walked up to her, slamming a pile of work onto her desk. "Is our little Y/N becoming a lightweight?"

"Oh, piss off Arthur," the firmness in her voice surprising him, considering that she didn't lift her head up.

Luckily, Arthur took that as his cue to leave, but not before sending an amused look at Tommy, one that was not reciprocated. Instead, the second eldest brother furrowed his brows, all of his attention focused on his little sister, concern beginning to bubble inside of him. Not wanting to start any arguments, however, he simply settled with saying "We'll leave at about five o'clock if you're still feeling like shit, yeah? I just need to finish this first."

Y/N laughed, humourlessly, and gestured towards her newly acquired work. "I've got plenty to keep me busy, Tommy, don't worry."

"You know if you're really feeling -"

"No, Thomas." His sister cut him off abruptly. "I'm fine to work, it's just a headache. It'll go before I know it."

With that, she began reading the first document that Arthur had given to her, actively avoiding Tommy's eye.

~ ~ ~

A couple of hours later and Tommy, having been so consumed with his work, realised that he hadn't heard a peep from Y/N since she started working.  

Looking up, he immediately became aware that Y/N still wasn't back to her usual self. To anyone else, she simply looked hard at work, furiously making notes as she waded through her paperwork; but Tommy could see her discomfort from a mile off. The hand subconsciously rubbing her stomach, the occasional wince in pain, the fingers on her other hand massaging her temples.

Y/N didn't seem to notice anything as Tommy made his way past her desk to speak to John and Arthur. "Has she said anything to either of you?"

"Nah," Arthur replied, casually. "I didn't think I pissed her off that badly earlier though, so I don't know why. She just keeps ignoring everyone and won't fucking sit still."

This did absolutely nothing to qualm Tommy's worries.

John piped up, tentatively: "You don't think it's...you know?"

"No, I don't, John. So spit it out."

John lowered his voice to a whisper, glancing slightly over his shoulder to make sure that Y/N wasn't listening. "You don't think it's that time of the month, do you? She always get a bit cranky, doesn't she."

Tommy cleared his throat as Arthur looked at the ground awkwardly. "Yeah, he's got a point, Tom. Best not to ask any questions."

"Right." Tommy paused, before making his way back to his office.  

He mulled over his brothers' words. It was a reasonable explanation for her behaviour, but something just didn't sit right with it for Tommy. Y/N had always lived with him and over time he had developed an instinct for when that time of the month was meant to be, and this didn't fit the usual pattern.

Lost in his thoughts as he packed up his things, Tommy was taken by surprise when Y/N appeared in the doorway, a smile plastered on her face. "You ready to go, Tom?"

If Tommy had looked a bit closer, he would've seen that the smile was just a bit too bright to be genuine. He would've seen that it didn't quite reach her eyes, which looked tired and pained in themselves. But, in an unusual move for Thomas Shelby, his shock at seeing such a drastic change in his sister overtook everything else.

As they drove back to Arrow House, the sun beginning to set in the distance, Tommy thought to himself 'Maybe John and Arthur were right, for once. I'm just worrying too much.'

Upon their arrival home, the siblings' usual routine began: Y/N made her way up to her room, whilst Tommy headed straight for his study to carry on working after greeting Grace and Charlie.  

And so, the evening began as a fairly typical one...but Tommy would never forget that night for the rest of his life.

~ ~ ~

At 7 o'clock each night, either Y/N or Grace would barge into Tommy's study to drag him to dinner (otherwise they thought that he'd never eat). In actual fact, Tommy always knew when dinner was going to be, but he enjoyed their visits to come and fetch him – for once, Thomas Shelby enjoyed being looked after.  

Grace had left for the weekend to spend some time with friends, and so when 7 o'clock came and went without Tommy being disturbed by his sister, he began to worry. Remembering her headaches and discomfort in the office, he came to the quick conclusion that she must have fallen asleep and made his way upstairs to go and wake her.

Call it his instinct as her older brother, but Tommy just knew that something was off as he stood outside Y/N's bedroom. Opening the door and peering around it, he froze at the sight before him: his sister, collapsed on her bed, sweating profusely and mumbling incoherently to herself. Tommy rushed over, panic eclipsing him, "Y/N?"

As he brushed the loose strands of hair away from her face, Tommy felt the heat radiating from her. Having nursed his sister through many an illness during her lifetime, and therefore knowing exactly what to do (or so he hoped, for Tommy had never seen her quite this bad before), he jogged down the hallway to fetch a bowl of lukewarm water and a cloth from the bathroom.

But Tommy's plans to nurse his sister through the night himself were put to an abrupt end upon his return. Y/N was curled up in a tight ball, arms wrapped around her stomach as she groaned and grunted in pain, vomiting violently over the side of her bed.

"Mary, call the doctor NOW!" Tommy yelled over his shoulder before dashing to sit next to his sister on the bed, dampening the cloth and dabbing it to her forehead. "Y/N? Y/N, speak to me, love, what's wrong?"

Still he got no response. Y/N didn't even give any indication that she knew that he was there. Her moans of pain simply got louder and more agitated and Tommy couldn't bear it. He had always done everything that he could (and more) to keep any pain far, far away from his sister, and when it couldn't be prevented Tommy would stop at nothing to make things better for her. Even when she was a baby, and their mother was still alive, no one could separate Tommy from Y/N's side when she was sick or injured – he didn't trust that others wouldn't cause her to suffer further, and so Y/N remained under his watchful eye until she was back to full strength (and even then he was wary for a week or so afterwards).

So, for Tommy, seeing his beloved sister writhing in pain, not knowing what was wrong or how he could help, was complete and utter torture for him.

~ ~ ~

When Mary arrived upstairs to inform her employer that the doctor would arrive within ten minutes, she barely recognised him: hair messy, hands shaking and muttering tender words of comfort, the Thomas Shelby in front of her was far from the controlled man that she had become accustomed to dealing with. But the thing that shocked her the most came when the man looked up at her. Whilst the blue of his eyes had become less icy since his marriage and the birth of his son, these eyes were wild, frantic and displayed a boyish vulnerability that Mary had never even imagined. They were glazed with unshed tears, and yet this barrier did nothing to hide the whirlwind of emotions that were communicated through them. The overarching message that they conveyed was as clear as day: Thomas Shelby was frightened.

The man's voice, thick with emotion despite his attempts to compose himself, snapped her away from her thoughts. "Call the rest of the family. Explain what's happening. Tell them that they need get here as quickly as possible. Then see to it that Charlie's looked after for the night. I'll be staying here."

"Yes, Mr Shelby. Shall I send everyone straight up here?"

Tommy simply nodded, his attention already devoted to his sister once more.

~ ~ ~

The minutes that followed this interaction would forever haunt Tommy's memory.

Whilst Y/N appeared to have stopped being sick, her cries of pain continued to escalate, both in frequency and in volume. Each one pierced through Tommy like a dagger straight to his heart. He knew that nothing he was doing was helping her, and that the situation was completely out of his control, and Tommy hated it. His brain became like a cage, trapping him in his tormenting thoughts: 'You should have done something sooner...you've failed her...how can you ever claim to be a good brother again when you can't even ease her pain...this is your punishment...it's your fault...it's all your fault.'

Tommy clutched onto Y/N's hand like a lifeline, mopping her brow as sweat continued to spill from every pore and her groans became screams tearing from her throat.  

Just when he thought that things couldn't get any worse, the convulsions began

Sheer terror consumed Tommy as he watched Y/N's body jerk violently on the bed. Silent tears cascaded down his face as he sat there, completely helpless, trying not to breakdown himself. That was the last thing that Y/N needed. He knew that he should call Mary or one of the maids, but he couldn't bear to leave Y/N's side to do so. He felt almost paralysed with fear, the only movement he made being the kisses that he placed repeatedly to her knuckles in between his pleas of "You're going to be alright, sweetheart...I'm here...I love you..."

The doctor came rushing in just as the convulsions were dying down, and immediately shooed Tommy away. Had the circumstances been any different, Tommy would have questioned the tone that the doctor took with Tommy – no one dismissed Tommy Shelby like that (except for Aunt Polly). But the Shelby man didn't even register it in his desperation for his sister to be looked at, so that he knew what to do to help her. He just needed to do something to make things better for her.

Standing outside Y/N's bedroom door, he heard the low rumble of his family's voices. Going against every one of his instincts to stay in position outside of Y/N's room, he ran down the stairs to see his family.

John, Arthur, Ada, Finn, Michael and Polly, like Mary, were shocked by the version of Tommy that appeared before them. From this alone, they knew that things were bad. Despite Tommy's explanations, the sight of Y/N lying weakly in her bed took them by surprise. Y/N always seemed so strong and full of life, the light of the family, and the realisation struck everyone that they may be plunged into darkness in the next few hours.

***

"It's not looking good, I'm afraid. If she wakes in the morning, then I think we can say that things are looking up. But I can't promise you that she will."

The silence left behind in the room after the doctor's departure was deafening. He had given Y/N some injections of fuck knows what to stop the convulsions and ease her pain, but he didn't know what else to do. He'd never dealt with anything like this before.  

All the family could do was wait.

After some time to process the doctor's warning, each member slowly began to unfreeze, or so it seemed. Polly disappeared to the kitchen to make tea and sort out some food, although no one felt like eating. John called Esme, and afterwards Arthur rang Linda, informing their wives that they wouldn't be back at home until at least tomorrow – they couldn't leave their sister. Michael ventured down the corridor to fetch some more chairs. Ada went to tend to Charlie, and Finn went with her, sent with the task of updating Mary and telling her to go to bed.

That left Tommy. Tommy, who couldn't believe what was happening. Tommy, who knew that, despite his new family with Grace, he couldn't cope without Y/N.  

Tiredly, the second eldest of the Shelby clan moved to reposition himself next to Y/N on her bed, holding her small hand in his and observing the baby hairs which fell delicately in front of her face. She would always be his little girl, no matter how old and grey and feisty she became, and nothing would change that. He refused to let anything take her away from him before they reached that point, not even poison.

As he mulled this all over in his head, remarking to himself how much she'd grown up yet how little she'd changed, Finn came back into the room. Breaking the silence, the youngest brother tentatively asked "Will she be alright?"

When Tommy looked up at his younger brother, he realised that he wasn't the only one who was scared. Truthfully, Tommy hated not being able to give a straight answer, and simply replied "She's a fighter, Finn."

God knows, they all hoped that she wouldn't stop fighting now.

***

Hours dragged on like days. The slow rising of the early morning sun taunted Tommy. The brighter it became in that room, the more the chance of Y/N waking up again slipped through his fingers.

He was the only one who stayed awake for the entire night, despite Ada's pleas for him to rest and Polly's snaps of "You're going to be no use to her if you're dead on your feet." Even the occasional drooping of his eyelids couldn't persuade him to relent. Because he knew that the minute he gave into that temptation, something would happen and Tommy couldn't risk missing anything.  

Part of him had stayed awake in case Y/N needed anything or got worse; part of him stayed awake in case she herself woke up (he didn't want her being alone); and the final part of him, the part of Tommy that was shit scared of what was going to happen, wanted to spend every single moment with his little sister. Because he didn't know if one of them was going to be her last on this Earth.

Arthur and John woke up in the chairs next to Y/N's bed, and gradually the rest of the family came to join them.

Polly was the first to speak. "Has there been any change?"

Tommy didn't trust himself to say the words out loud, so responded by shaking his head and placing a kiss to the back of Y/N's hand, which he hadn't relinquished his hold on.

Whilst her skin was clammy to the touch, she was no longer sweating like before. Her breathing had evened out and the expression of discomfort that had marred her face had melted away: Y/N looked peaceful. To Polly and the rest of the family, this was a good sign, an indication that she was getting better. However, the thought lingered that this would make it easier for her to slip away undetected.

This was the most terrifying idea.

The morning continued to pass by: 9 o'clock, 10 o'clock, 11 o'clock...still nothing.

Everyone was becoming more and more agitated, the ticking of the clock doing nothing to ease the tension. Tommy had finally moved, deciding to pace up and down the limited space left in the room instead. Occasionally, someone would walk over to the window or run downstairs to get a new book. But still they waited, each member of the family united in their hope that Y/N would wake soon.

When the clock struck midday, that hope began to fade, even though no one would say it out loud; it could just be felt in the atmosphere.

However, when no one was looking, Y/N's eyes slowly crept open, squinting as the bright sunlight beamed through the window. Once her eyes had adjusted, she observed her family positioned around her room and noted the peace and quiet, even if Y/N could tell that it was tense. Internally, she sighed to herself 'No fucking fighting, at last.'

Her voice was croaky as she said quietly "How long are you guys gonna hover round my bed like a bunch of creepers, eh?"

The relief was immediate. As Arthur and John roared in excitement, shouting "SHE'S ONLY GONE AND FUCKING DONE IT," Tommy raced over and rested a hand on her cheek tenderly, their tired eyes meeting for the first time in hours. His eyes spoke of admiration and disbelief, whilst hers held only adoration for her big brother. Tommy placed a kiss to her forehead, and let a couple more tears fall.

"I love you, sweetheart."

"Love you, Tom." Y/N smiled softly. "Thank you for staying with me, I knew you were there the entire time."

"As if I could ever leave you, eh."

"Or I you, Tom."

And that was the simple and honest truth.