#his first real relationship ended with her running away and the 3 girl he got with after are people that came back to him

[lover-of-mine]

Yk I'm always thinking about Buck Actually and the talk Buck has with Thomas and the whole "you don't find it, son, you make it" and the way Buck looked at Thomas dying right after Mitchell holding his hand and the way some part of Buck looked at them and connected love with death and now keeps trying to make something to the point that it would kill him. He heard that the type of love he wants comes from work and decided he needs wear himself down to get it and it's just devastating.

[coralinnii]

Congrats on reaching the 2.7 K followers milestone!! If it's okay to ask why specifically 2.7 K?

anyways I heard you were taking requests so I'll request something to celebrate with you :-D

I was wondering if you could do one where Idia, Kalim, Azul, Riddle rejects Fem!reader but ends up falling for reader after that, how would they react when they need to reject her and when the realization of them liking her back hits? (I tried to come up with an og idea but idrk if this one is actually good enough writing material :'-D)

 ‧₊˚✧ Waking up Too Late ‧₊˚✧

↳ Realizing their feelings for fem!reader after rejecting you 

feat: Idia ❋ Kalim ❋ Azul ❋ Riddle genre: slight hurt/comfort, open ending note: no pronouns were used but reader is written as a female in mind, reader can be interpreted as Yuu!reader, 

Question: Why specifically 2.7K? Well... I wanted to do something when I reached 2k but by the time I finished my initial wave of requests and WIPs, it already reached 2.7K ^_^" There wasn't a real rhyme or reason... I was just really late to the game

extra note: the joke in the start of Azul’s section doesn’t mean anything bad about him in general. It’s just Azul reminds me too much of myself during my younger days and I wasn't the biggest fan of myself back then.

Also, if anyone is wondering... I haven't stopped writing. I was just unable to find time for myself during the last 3 months because my classes and work didn't leave me time to do much outside of that. Seriously, I had assignments due on weekdays AND weekends! If none of you know who I am or didn't even realize I was gone... ignore me and have a good day ^_^

2.7K Followers Writing Event 2023

The Big Ooff

Regardless of Idia’s feelings before or after the confession, he rejected you in fear of change. He was content with the way things are, where he doesn’t have to worry about things like romance and relationships. 

Idia can’t imagine being the main protagonist for anything. He’s not the cool main hero or the handsome prince that gets the pretty girl. That's for the extroverts with high charm specs (a.k.a not him). Afterall, when does the NPC ever win? 

So when you, his friend and confidant, his solace and only exception, told him that you held feelings more than friendship…well, his system short-circuited. 

While the two of you said it wouldn’t change your friendship, you still wanted time away from him to heal the hurt. Idia agreed that the risky emotional roll dealt some real backlash to both of you.

The Realization

Idia tried to deny it, but he started imagining an alternative universe where he did accept your confession that fateful day. 

If he were to zone out during his level grinding sessions, he would vaguely envision himself in the same position, but perhaps with you lying next to him or even running your fingers through his flames. These daydreams would surprise him literally off the bed, his aforementioned flames burning a cute pinkish hue.

Some days when he’s browsing around online shops, he would occasionally encounter items that remind him of you.

Now, that in itself is not new but rather it was when he imagined how cute you would be if he got these items for you. Instead of your usual pleasantly surprised thank you, would you lovingly embrace him, maybe even kiss-! 

Ortho was startled to see his brother suddenly falling off his gaming chair, with his hands suspiciously covering his face. 

Crap, not only did he realize his feelings for you (which in hindsight probably was not surprising in the least), but he actually would like to be in a stupid lovey-dovey relationship with you. 

His Next Moves?

Continues to deny everything. So what if he wants a relationship with you? He can’t handle this new step even with these newly realized emotions. Plus, he was the one who blew his own shot by rejecting you the first time. 

So, he falls to his coping mechanism which is to deny everything and that he’s perfectly fine the way things are. 

When the two of you returned to your typical routine, he tried to keep things the way it used to be, as the same with you. 

Except it’s not quite the same. 

You weren’t sure if you were being conscious or that it’s been a while since you two hung out, but you felt that Idia was slightly more…attentive you could say?

He would give you first bids of the better controller before picking anything himself. If you seemed the slightest bit uncomfortable while sitting, the blue-flamed senior would offer you a comfier spot on his bed and a blanket if you wanted, before sputtering that he meant nothing weird about it.

He says he’s fine, but Idia’s is in no way the usual closed-off, sometimes cocky genius you knew before. He’s jittery, more prone to shriek and burst into pink flames to any of your gestures, and according to his little brother his heartbeat is slightly faster than usual. 

It’s weird…it’s like he actually acknowledges you as a woman…

Oh.

“Ahh, I seriously chose the wrong choice option. The story path…I wonder if I could still salvage a good ending…”

The Big Ooff

Kalim’s overly friendly nature, while harmless, is somewhat misleading and confusing to those around him. I mean, if someone threw a grand luxurious party for you, it’s easy to assume that you were someone special. Unfortunately, Kalim is simply just…too friendly. He would do this and more for just about anyone, no matter how special they may or may not be.

Nonetheless, you still wanted to tell him your feelings. You wanted to tell him how his smile and laugh hastens your heartbeat as you smile back. That you feel butterflies every time he extends his hands to you, coaxing you to dance with the boisterous Housewarden of Scarabia. 

To everyone’s genuine surprise, the snow-haired student sincerely apologized to you, not able to return your feelings the same way. All of your friends and also Scarabia was so sure that their Housewarden thought differently of you, but news quickly spread that Kalim never thought about being more than friends with you.

The Realization

To clarify, Kalim never thought about being more than friends with anyone. He’s happy to have so many friends, what more could he possibly want?

But your words did shake him mentally. He never realized that you would feel this way for him. On days when he can’t keep track of the lessons at hand, his mind would doze off and wander back to your confession. 

“Hastening heartbeat, feelings of butterflies, always wanting to smile when you do…”

The more he thinks about your love symptoms, he’s realizing how similar those feelings were to his own when he’s around you. It was why he would always try to find you in a crowd, or why he wanted to be your dance partner on any occasion. Sure, he’s happy to be around everyone, but he feels especially good when it's you.

The pieces are connecting, the clogs are aligning, and soon…

“JAMIL, I THINK I’M IN LOVE TOO!” 

“IS YOUR LACK OF INTROSPECTION THIS BAD?!”

His Next Moves?

Man is now a fool in love. He has this goofy smile on his boyish face at the slightest mention of you. Everytime he thinks about you, he keeps attempting to buy one or two grand bouquets of flowers for you, each flower as beautiful as you, much to Jamil’s chagrin as the vice-Housewarden has to keep reminding him of a crucial fact. 

“You two aren’t dating. Actually worse considering your prior actions.” 

Jamil’s brutal but accurate words brought Kalim back to harsh reality as he realized his mistake in not realizing his feelings soon enough. But not one to wallow in the past, Kalim sought to tell you his feelings just as you bravely did before. 

Whether I personally think if that’s a smart move is irrelevant

Whatever your response is to him, Kalim would fully respect your choice, prioritizing your comfort and feelings over his newly uncovered ones. Despite his well intentions and honest feelings before the realization, his carelessness hurt you and he needed to consider your healing process. 

Kalim would still act like a love-sick fool, however. Buying beautiful trinkets because he thought of you but won’t push them onto you if you couldn’t handle the heavy sentiment (thank Jamil for that). 

Though a little more sheepishly, he would still extend his hand to you hoping for a dance, small little gestures to make you smile even the slightest bit brighter…all this and more because “I like you” and nothing else.

Just because he’s slow in figuring things out, his feelings won’t change so easily. This special feeling of happiness, of love… he’s grateful that you taught him this whole new world.

"I’m a little much? Haha, sorry. I get really happy when I see you...It feels nice being in love with you.”

The Big Ooff

Please reconsider 

Ahem. Azul has grown accustomed to your presence. Perhaps even look forward to it throughout his daily routine, even assisting you in whatever trouble you always seem to get involved in. Some would accuse him of favoritism, but Azul argued that he was simply a gentleman treating a lady right.

He’s too observant to not notice that these sentiments are somewhat mutual. He thought of you as too kind and generous as to spend your spare time helping him around the lounge or to keep him company when the Leech twins get a little much. 

But he was surprised to learn that your feelings were deeper than he initially predicted. There was such sincerity in your voice as you confess your feelings that it shook Azul to his core and turned his human legs weak. 

However, he still had so many aspirations he hasn’t reached yet, opportunities he can’t miss. He can’t afford to split his time for something like romance, something that didn't register to him as urgent in the first place. Love is all well and good, but success is better and more tangible.

He’s careful with his words, gratefully thanking you for your confession and complimenting you with a list of traits he admired about you. 

But you should know Azul by now. He’s hyping you up before ultimately giving you crushing news. Like a company recruiter telling you weren’t chosen despite your apparent talents. 

You knew this, but it still hurts to have your dynamic treated equivalent to that of a business relation. 

The Realization

Azul understood you needed time away. Certain things were said that can’t be taken back and it’ll be a while before you two could feel comfortable around each other again. 

During this time though, the Housewarden truly felt your absence. He feels it when someone else takes a seat in his office where you usually occupy, when his mealtime feels less fulfilling because you weren’t there to enjoy it with him, when his headaches get worse from stress and you weren’t there to lend a comforting hand. 

This sense of void was like a stream of cold water slowly trickling into his body and mind until he felt heavy and almost drowning. What an odd sensation for a deep-sea merman. 

His mind became cluttered. He can’t focus on his work when all he could think about is where you might be and what you were doing. 

He reached his limit when he realized that he couldn’t even hide this internal conflict from Jade or Floyd when their keen eyes pick on every moment of his loss of focus, and they have an inkling as to the cause. 

…Dear Sevens, he might have made a great miscalculation on his own feelings.

His Next Moves?

First off, he’s going to spend some time in his pot. He needs some personal time reflecting over his own obliviousness and self-sabotage. 

Once that’s over, he now has to figure out how to remedy this. A plan to get back into your good graces after the blunder. 

He is a greedy merman. If he’s going to do something, he wants the best outcome possible, which is you forgiving him and accepting him while forgetting the past even happened.  

He’s read through countless relationship books, advice found online, and personal intel that his schoolmates were forced to generous enough to offer under an NDA. 

He’ll use the knowledge he remembered from your confession to his advantage, highlighting the parts of himself that he knew you liked about him. He shows off his good side in hopes to reignite what attracted you to him. 

If there’s anything to expose his intent with you, it’s the flush of his pale skin when you finally thanked him with that sweet smile he missed so much.

"I’m not one to lose an opportunity when within my reach. However long it takes, I’ll earn back what I’ve foolishly lost.”

The Big Ooff

Riddle was, in all seriousness, taken aback by your confession.

The studious Housewarden of Heartslabyul is definitely smart, but he’s just slightly lacking in the people-reading department. 

To him, you were simply a very loving person. He thought perhaps you were on the shyer side but always worrying about his well-being, making sure he’s taken breaks and to enjoy himself between his duties.

You were still a little rambunctious as lately you seem at odds with Ace as you’re quick to smack and silence the mischievous redhead who seems to snicker more often than usual as of late. 

Frankly, you left him stunned, his face similar to a deer in headlights. No textbook or lecture has prepared him to reply back to your sincere confession. 

In the end, he rejected you while giving his full honesty. Silly things like love and relationships were subjects he never thought to consider in depth, and he wasn’t sure it was something he wanted at the moment. 

He tried to explain the best he could, but you couldn't stop the aching feeling of your heart breaking. 

The Realization

Your relationship with Riddle took a blow but it was not destroyed. Albeit some awkwardness here and there, life flows relentlessly as usual. 

But that fateful day would occasionally sneak its way into Riddle’s mind during his spare moments to himself, recalling your determined face, coupled with his memories of your beautiful, clear eyes.

Nowadays, his heart would tighten, his throat would feel dry, and his breathing would be shallower whenever his thoughts sway towards you. 

Spurred by these odd symptoms, he finally looked more into the topic of love. The more he delved into talks on relationships, seminars on emotional attraction, and even tropes from novels, the more it feels as though he’s going down a rabbit hole of new emotional discoveries. 

For a while, the Heartslabyul dorm was on edge as they feared for their necks every time their terrifying Housewarden suddenly turned franticly scarlet out of nowhere.

Alone in Riddle’s room, surrounded by articles and books littered on his once pristine desk, Riddle found his conclusion; he’s in love too

His Next Moves?

Riddle isn’t actually sure how to approach you anymore. This whole “in love” experience is all too new to him. He couldn’t bring up this embarrassing topic with any of his peers, and much less with his mother (Sevens knows he doesn’t exactly want to replicate a relationship like his parents). 

But he couldn’t handle the sudden sensations of nerves that occur every time he’s close to you. He can’t keep up constantly chastising himself internally for flinching every time he passes a tart or a teacup to you during Unbirthday parties. 

He can no longer focus during his study sessions with you as he’s now fighting with himself as he dreams to hold your free hand or to brush a stray lock of hair from your endearing face. 

Was it as difficult to deal with as it was for you? Was this the reason you decided to confess to him? But the thought of speaking to you about something so intimate invokes nerves in him that he couldn’t understand.

No, he should learn from your example. If the natural progression of his feelings should be clear communication between those involved, then he will face this challenge as confidently as he does with any other. 

Prepare yourself, the stubborn Riddle has made a goal for himself. 

“I admit my inexperience has hurt those I cherish. Next time, I will respond to your bravery in kind.” 

[wolfish-trickster]

I would've chosen if I could've

Gojo x fem!reader, Geto x fem!reader

Part 3

Previous part

Word count: 3.2K

Summary: after a talk with Geto Gojo realizes few things and even though he plans on doing better he decides to give both himself and you a little break before trying to ask for forgiveness. Geto however has a plan of his own.

Warnings: bad grammar (possibly), typos, angst, very little comfort

Taglist: @ilovebattinson @catobsessedlady @tqd4455 @nanao4k

@abcdefghijklmmopqrstuvwxyz

By the time their little "therapy" ended the sky outside changed from clear blue to cloudy gray. One would think rain will fall any minute now. The only thing that fell however was the air preassure.

Since Gojo was always one of the sensitive ones he quickly fell asleep. Geto offered him his big bed to take a nap in but Gojo proclaimed "he deserved to sleep on a floor for what he did". They settled on a compromise in a form of a couch. As Gojo was snoring away, more mentally tired than physically, Geto got into thinking. His entire conversation with his best friend took a mental toll on him too.

Thinking back to his relationship with you, he never really spotted any problems. The amount of times Geto spaced out while Gojo gushed about you at the begining of the relationship made it seem like he would set the world on fire if you as much as hinted you felt a little cold. He just couldn't wrap his head around how Gojo could fuck all of that up in the span of one day. Or several years. Has he been like this since the begining? When did Gojo start lying about you being too busy to hang out with him and Shoko? Was there a breaking point for Gojo? Did you do something that made him realize he just isn't the type for serious relationships?

For the first time in his life Geto Suguru couldn't answer any of these questions about his best friend.

Sun began to set. First raindrops hit the window. Soon a soft rain turned into a heavy storm. And yet even that couldn't wake Gojo up. 'He must be so exhausted,' Geto thought as he pulled a thin blanket over his sleeping figure. Even unconscious Gojo looked hurt. Geto was as well. Both from what happened and what he's about to do.

*

It has been a tough day on your mentality. After packing majority of your clothes into your favourite backpack you ran out the apartment with no real plan in mind. Nowhere to go either. You roamed the city for hours until you saw a short haired brunette girl smoking in the distance. After running up to her it turned out to not be Shoko to your disapointment. But it wasn't pointless. Noticing the girl made you remember Gojo and Geto's friend.

You walked to her place as if on autopilot, letting your muscle memory carry you. What would you say once you come to her door? She was the one to help you get together with Gojo in the first place. Did she know something like this would happen? She has known him for as long as Geto did.

The thought of Geto made you shiver. If it wasn't for him none of this would've happened! You were sure he was just enjoying pulling Gojo away from you, keeping him to himself and himself only. Did he ever planned on making you and Gojo break up? If so, he succeeded masterfully. You wondered if Gojo was sad even a little bit about you leaving, and if so if he was calling Geto about it, telling him he needs more time without him. You smiled. It would be nice if that was happening. Such a shame you won't find out.

Soon you arrived at a small house with old dark brown door and a worn out mat. The only thing that changed from your last visit was one of the windows at the front. Its glass was new. At the begining of your and Gojo's relationship Shoko and Geto wanted to have a small sleepover to get to know you better. Shoko was really warm and welcoming, so was Geto, even though in a lesser extent. He didn't touch you in any way, no hug nor hand shake, and when it came to laying out sleeping bags in the living room he placed his as far away from you as possible. Gojo then started teasing him and after all testosteron fully kicked in they ended up breaking one of the windows. You panicked and quickly looked over at Shoko. She just lit a cigarette and told you you'd get used to it.

You smiled. It was a nice memory. Back then when everything was simpler and somehow calmer. Still, one thing was weird to you. How Geto was pulling away from you since the begining.

You shook your head. First he started occupying your relationship and now your thoughts? No fucking way. He doesn't get to win. (A/N if you understood the reference you get a cookie 😉)

Your hand hovered a little above the old wood of Shoko's door but in the end decided to softly knock. You heard shuffling behind the door before surprised Shoko opened it, definitelly expecting someone else instead of you. She was dressed casually in jeans and some basic T-shirt, but you could tell she was trying to make herself look a little nicer than just 'casual'.

"Hi, what happened?" she asked and reached out to caress your cheek. You must've looked horrible.

You sighed and as best as you could explained the gist of what happened. Somehow you could do so in just three sentences and no crying. Did you already run out of all your tears?

She accepted you into her house and made you some calming lavender tea. "You can sleep over if you want," she said.

"Thank you. And sorry for bothering, I just... I had no other place to go," you admitted and sipped on the purple steamkng bevarage. You never had a lavender tea. Tasted like a hug in a mug. Something you desperately needed in these tough times.

"Don't worry about it," she rubbed your back comfortingly, "that's what friends are for."

You smiled at her and leaned into her hand. "You don't have to stay and take care of me. You were just about to go out, right?" You gestured at her face half covered in make up. Realizing you must've ruined her most-likely date made you feel even worse about yourself.

Shoko just waved her hand. "It was just a movie thing with Geto. It's fine tho, you need me more now."

She mentioned two things that broke you: Geto and you being put above all else. You collapsed into her arms and cried out bunch of apologies and words about ruining her chance at finding a relationship for herself. You weren't fond of Geto at all right now, but you knew Shoko and how single and alone she must've felt with her two male friends being always away.

Now that you think about it, you were surprised she even went above and beyond to help you. They were three before. Then came you and took Gojo away. And then Gojo took Geto away from her too. You felt sick. She was all alone because of you.

You must've said all of this out loud tho, because Shoko pulled you from a tight hug to an arm's length away from her and made you look into her eyes. "Don't. Just don't. You didn't make anyone leave me. Me being alone isn't your fault. If anything I should be thanking you. Those two have been hogging my free time for a long time and with them finally focusing on other things I had more time to study and got my grades from 'barely passing' to 'top of the class'. Besides, I was always more into femboys," she winked which made you laugh. Such a shame not everyone was like Shoko. She was truly a ride or die kind of girl.

You hugged her as tight as you could and just held her. Feeling another body's warmth brought you calmness, no matter who it belonged to.

Unfortunately, not every good thing lasts forever. And neither did this moment.

Shoko's phone vibrated. She pulled it put of her backpocket and looked at it. "Shoot, I almost forgot. Would you mind if I-?" she pointed at her phone with Geto's contact shining brightly on her screen.

You shook your head, even though seeing Geto's relaxed smile in that contact made your chest hurt. That bastard doesn't even know what he did.

Shoko smiled and walked into her bedroom to make the call. You stayed sitting her kitchen, sipping on your tea, looking around. There were little peaces of paper with some medical notes written on it taped on random places all around the place. You figured it must be her way of studying.

After a while she came back from her bedroom and sat across from you. "Gojo's at Geto's."

"Of course he is," you scoffed and went in to take a sip from your tea only to realize you've drank it all.

Shoko sighed. "Geto told me he'll speak with him," you rolled ypur eyes, "and quote 'take care, both of you'," she added.

You looked back at her surprised. "He what?"

Shoko smirked. "Not even gonna ask about your beloved boyfriend?"

You frowned. "Shoko, please stop."

"Sorry, I just wanted to lighten up the mood."

"And he's an ex."

Shoko raised her eyeybrows. "So, it's official now?"

"Yeah. I mean, packing your things and leaving couldn't be taken as anything else, right?"

It felt weird saying that. Ex boyfriend. You've had few in the past, but most of them were in your youth while you were still figuring out your place in the world. To be honest, you were still figuring it out but now you were a little closer to finding it out than before. You thought you would be able to find out completely with Gojo by your side. He wanted someone else by his though...

"Right," she answered.

The rest of the day was pretty calm. You talked, cooked something together, and then watched the rain drops race on a window. It felt nice. Not thinking about what was happening in your life.

As the night time approached so did tiredness. The entire day did its number on your psyche and you desperately needed to sleep it off. Shoko offered you her bed, making up an excuse she needs to study fro her upcoming exams, but you weren't having it.

"Listen girl, if you really want me to stay in my bed we can be in there together and cuddle," Shoko smirked as she helped you prepare the couch for the night.

"You snore so no thanks."

She stuck out her tongue at you and you giggled. It felt like having an older sister.

You both said goodnight and went off to sleep, her in her bed and you on her couch. You have slept on many couches but Shoko's was by far the softest. So warm, so comfy. You were minutes away from falling completely asleep when you heard a small ding, startling you wide awake.

It came from the kitchen. What dinging thing did Shoko have in the kitchen?

You turned on your side, thinking it was just a one time thing. Right as this thought bloomed in your head you heard two more dings.

Annoyed you dragged yourself to your feet and using your phone's flashlight tiptoed into the kitchen.

The noise source wasn't even trying to hide. Shoko's phone was shining like a lighthouse right under a window, where you both had your droplet race. You picked it up just as its screen turned black. You wouldn't want to read the messages as to not invade Shoko's privacy. Even if the curiosity was stronger.

Even though... it could be something from her school, right? It wouldn't hurt just to check. You'll bring it to her right after. Yeah, that's what you'll do!

You turned the phone on and you nearly puked. There was a notification about 3 new messages from Geto Suguru.

Do you want to know?

Yes you do.

You unlock the screen and went straight into messages.

hi, i just wanted to tell you i had a talk w/satoru and he's doing rly bad. he has no idea what he wants in life, but he also swore he never wanted to hurt Y/N. he also promised to become better and have a talk with her, so dont be surprised if he shows up at yours tmrw

oh and btw how is she doing

?

You stared at the phone. Should you reply? Should you just pretend you saw nothing and go back to sleep? As if you'd fall asleep after that. As horrible as it sounded you were kinda glad Gojo was doing bad. It showed he cared about you. And Geto saying he's willing to change for you? One part of you was glad things would go to normal. And the other one was screaming at you to notice the next sentence of Geto's message. Gojo has no idea what he wants in life. That little fact could be interpreted in so many ways.

Before you could think of any the phone in your hand dinged again. A new message.

y are you silent? i can see you reading this

Oh crap, you forgot he could see if the reciever read the message or not.

It was time to act. Pretend to be Shoko and find out stuff they would never tell you or admit you're you and risk losing the spicy information you could pull out of Geto.

As much as you hated to admit it Geto was really important for you right now.

"I'm so sorry Shoko," you whispered as you typed away.

I was just thinking, that's all. What exactly did Satoru tell you?

promise you won't tell Y/N? it would hurt her even more

Geto Suguru... cares about you?

Okay, I won't tell.

good, good. well basically he told me he has no idea what to do. that he doesnt want to choose any of us in fear of losing the one he doesnt choose. worst thing tho is i think he isnt really ready to be in a relationship. said he felt trapped but also not. idunno, it was messy

oh and did you know he lied all those times? everytime we invited both of them he said Y/N was too busy to attend, he told me he just wanted to feel like old times again.

They what? Invited you? You ahve to think fast. If you weren't you but Shoko, what would you reply?

Damn.

Yup, the only sensible thing coming to mind.

It worked though.

yeah, my thoughts exactly. how is she doing by the way?

You thought for a while. Then you began typing.

She's better. I made her a tea, talked with her, had fun.

okay, thats good

He wasn't replying for a while. You thought this was the end of it but then another message popped up.

i'm kinda surprised youre not saying anything

Check the clock mister, I'm tired.

i didnt mean that

Then what did you mean?

cheering me on in pursuit of Y/N

What the actual? Pursuit of you? In what way?

Your legs couldn't take it anymore so you sat down on the cold kitchen floor, head resting against one of the table legs. After your heartbeat slowed down a little you were ready to find out more.

As I said, too tired.

so all it took for you to stop teasing me about my crush was being too tired? where was this info three years ago?

Crush? Your fingers began to shake. This can't be. Geto Suguru, the source of your anxiety, the reason for your break up, the best friend of your now ex boyfriend has had a crush on you this entire time? And Shoko was teasing him because of this?

You have to keep a calm mind.

I don't think it's a good idea to act out right now.

yeah, no shit

what i said still stands tho

satoru is my best friend. and even if the girl that has been haunting my dreams the past few years is single now i cant possibly do it to him

You said it yourself, didn't you? Satoru doesn't know what he wants in life. What if he didn't want Y/N either?

You had to play these cards in order to find out more. More about Geto's crush, more about what Gojo really told Geto.

after what i heard today i think theres a possibility for that. but look, this is the first real relationship he has. that boy has been sheltered half of his life. tomorrow he will come to yours and have a chat with Y/N. the rest is up to her.

And what if she chooses to get back together with him? It would break your heart.

wouldn't be for the first time.

besides, as much as id want satoru to be single for a while to figure out his shit on his own i cant really wish Y/N told him to gtfo. at the begining she looked so happy

Geto...

yeah

You waited for a while but no more words came from Geto's end. The conversation died and you were even more confused than before.

*

Morning came. A sleepless night now behind you, Shoko's phone still in your hands and bunch of questions in our head. As well as anxiety.

What will you tell Shoko? Sorry girl, your phone wouldn't shut up so I impersonated you and texted with the best friend of y ex and also the reason why he's my ex in the first place and by the way when did you want to tell me he has had a crush on my and that's why he was acting all hot'n'cold with me ever since we met?

Even more, will Gojo really come and try to win your trust again? Before yoi read Geto's messages you would be even willing to try, but after? You weren't sure anymore. Especially after one specific sentence that kept you up all night. 'After what I heard today I think there's a real possibility of that.'

Shoko's bedroom door creaked open and in came a half asleep Shoko. Blindly filling up the tea kettle she turned to you. "Do you want some coffee?"

"No thanks," you said and placed the phone on the table infront of you. This will be bad. "Hey, Shokoy I have to tell you somethi-"

You were interrupted by loud knocking on the front door.

Both you and Shoko looked at the door than at eachother. Rubbing her eyes she walked over there and looked through the peep hole. "It's Gojo. Do you want me to let him in?"

You hesitated. Adrenalin was running high in your system, anxiety was clawing at your chest like never before.

And against all your better judgement you nodded.

A/N: i'm so sorry for ending it like this but it's really fucking late and i only have time at night to be creative... i don't know when the next chapter/chapters (i have at least three more planned) will come out but i promise i will try my best to post them by the time next monday comes. See ya ✌️

[cyberkitty1]

Ken sato brainrot is real and im here for that, i saw that request are open, and i want to make one if thats okay? Bassically hcs o of kenji with a high school friend reader that is a very shy/meek person, they where inseparable as kids and kenji was always very protective of reader, even in their high school years when reader started dating a very cuestionable guy that ended up being a cheater with her toxic ex best friend(that send her a lot of hatefull texts and calls with threats and slut shaming comments bc she wanted to date her boyfriend), due this reader moved on to japan when she and kenji where teenagers and they keep contact by texts and zoom calls.

When kenji comes to japan is determinate to make reader officially his girl, it can include headcanons of them as a couple!

If this is to much you are free to not do this request! I dont wanna bother you

hey babes! not too much at all!! i havnt been active at all lately and quite frankly i don’t want to work on my long fic so this will be my break! ^^ and sorry i did tweak it a little im sorry 😞

warning: lowercase intended, slightly proofread!

- your moms were great friends and throughout their pregnancies hung out with each other day in and day out.

- he was older by about 2-3 months. from the moment you were born you guys could not be taken apart. you bathed together, ate together, took naps together when i say everything i mean everything! you both urged to have birthdays together at some point.

- you both had so much love for either obviously not in a romantic way, but in a way that just being in eachothers presence is enough.

- once he knew he wanted to do baseball you’d practice with him for fun, granted he was lightyears ahead of you in technique he still likes tossing it back and forth and talking about drama in your classes.

- as you both got older you did find out your interests but that didn’t tarnish your relationship considering you had multiple classes together plus lunch plus going to and from school together.

- that is until you get a boyfriend. one of kens teammates. he was notorious for being with half the girls in your grade. you had a very small friend group but you knew who he was, but alas you still fell for him. 

- you were together for about 4 months ken felt as if it were an eternity, time and time again he tells you his dating history and each time you’d hush him giving him and give horrible excuses.

- things were going ok up until you saw him acting a bit different, you weren’t one to meddle in others business but you knew he was hiding something. you check his phone and see a plethora of text messages and call logs of him and another girl he told you at the beginning “not to worry about”.

- the only person you could think of to offer you comfort is ken. walking if not running to his house a little under a mile away. he answers the door seeing you in your disheveled state and already knows what has happened.

- he could only hug you and listen to you sob. after about an hour you explain and he listens using tissues to get your tears and letting you blow your nose. you ended up staying the night having his mom call yours and let her know.

- by the next day you were feeling better but your eyes were so swollen your parents let you stay home, of course ken begged his parents to let him stay as well but he did have a test and practice so they ultimately refused.

- of course after ending all his tasks he made his way to your house to see you, you were still sad but a weight felt lifted off your shoulders. he was able to distract you further making you forget what you were sad about in the first place.

- once you were done with highschool you both move on to bigger and better things him continuing to pursue baseball and you going into nursing. at this point it’s the only thing you’re putting your energy into considering you lost contact with all friends in high school.

- but in college you were still working in groups with others so you didn’t mind too much and while you were living your life obviously he was too, getting scouted and making his dream team honestly doing everything he had wanted to do.

- another time skip, you’ve graduated officially but getting your doctorate is in the picture. he’s still doing baseball, you guys dont really talk anymore and he really really doesn’t like it. but he doesn’t know what to do, how to fix it. he really misses how things were and deeply loves you and can only reminisce on everything that you guys have done together.

- that is until after a battle he ends up at your doorstep not battered but still a bit hurt, all he could do during the fight was think of you, this was his breaking point.

PART 2

AYYYY 2 IN 1 DAY

AHHHH STORY TIME NEXT POST IS LIKE STORY PORTION

[webslingingslasher]

How about “desperately wanting to be angry, but they can't push past the hurt they're feeling with the trust being broken” from the prompt list? An angsty one with a really fluffy ending? <3

it's a little angsty, little fluffy *reader thinks peter's cheating

It always started with a ‘hey girlie,’ text. 

Any girl in a relationship knew what that meant. 

You thought Peter was a safe bet, there was no way Peter would ever cheat on you, right? 

Two words sent you into panic, your heart was beating a million miles a minute, your vision felt dotty and the urge to throw up, cry and scream was running rampant, even if you were to have a mental breakdown you didn’t know where to start. 

Actually, first things first, who is this chick? You clicked on her name, Cynthia Prescott, no mutual friends. There were only a few pictures, each smile she wore dug and pushed further and further into your gut, there would be no way Peter could ever cheat, unless it was with a girl like that. If you had big enough balls you would watch her story, but you already felt like you were shutting down. 

You wanted to respond. Anything, “hey, sis.” or “wussup, girlie?” maybe even  “please god don’t ruin anything for me, he’s all I have.” Instead you swallowed your tongue and closed out, if you didn’t ask then she wouldn’t tell, then you wouldn’t have to know. That was the best possible plan, you could pretend this never happened, you didn’t know a Cynthia Prescott, and by the looks of it none of your friends did. 

‘Message me back, girlfriend! I have something to bring to your attention.’ 

A second message, emojis littered her words, it was like sprinkling glitter on an open wound. You wanted to scream, you kept telling yourself it wasn’t real, he couldn’t have done it. For a minute you think about deleting the app all together, but that would make you weak, wouldn’t it? Run away, play pretend that your boyfriend didn’t cheat? 

You should be angry, seething, enraged. You should want to tear apart his dorm room, wipe his computer’s history, email his professors a list of curse words they remind him of, spill coffee on his returnable textbooks, anything to cause him a pinch of the hurt you were feeling. 

It was hurt, wasn’t it? The way your stomach dropped, the way you feel frozen, the way you can’t stop thinking about it. ‘Not peter, not peter, not peter,’ a chant rattled your mind, you collapsed to his bed, ‘hey, girlie, not peter, hey, girlie, not peter,’ you couldn’t help to pick up your breath. 

A full blown panic attack, when was Peter coming back? His class ended at four, what time was it? Where was your phone, the phone with the dm, the one with the text, the one that says he’s cheating. 

“Woah, are you okay?” 

Peter’s hands were held up, he was thrown off seeing you hyperventilate on his bed. Your hands shake, you should be angry, you should be screaming, you should hate him. So why do you want him to say sorry and hug you, kiss you softly, hold you until you feel whole again, why did it hurt so much?

His hands wrap around your shoulders, “baby, you okay?” 

You stared at him in shock, “you’re cheating on me.” A fact, not to be questioned. 

Peter pulls a face, “I am?” 

You nod, “I got a text.” 

“Oh.” He looks at the ground, you see guilty, you nearly break into tears. Your stomach hurts, your chest is tight, you feel lightheaded, nothing feels right and everything just hurts. 

“Can I ask who with?” 

A sick joke, he couldn’t even keep count, he wanted a number from his lineup. You shrug his hands off, wipe at your nose, “Cynthina Prescott,” Peter’s eyes widen, he nods, the name bouncing in his mind. 

“Baby, who the fuck is Cynthia Prescott?” 

“I don’t know! You’re the one fucking her, she told me!” 

Okay, maybe she didn’t but you knew what that text meant. 

“Baby, I don-” 

“Don’t call me that! Liar!” 

He sighs, “I don’t know a Cynthia, Y/N, I swear.” 

Your eyes narrow, “then why did she tell me she did?” 

“I don’t, I’m,” he’s pulling at straws, he feels like he’s the one being gaslighted, he looks for your phone on the bed. 

“Did she tell you in person, or text you? Bab- Y/N, I don’t know who she is I promise.” 

You hold a hand to your chest to settle your breath, “instagram dm,” Peter rested a hand on your head to calm you, his other hand finding your phone and opening up the app, and tapping on messages he saw the culprit immediately. He was ready to defend his honor to death, his next step is tracking them down. Until he blinked at the messages, “honey, did you delete something?” There was nothing that indicated anything of the sort, just a cryptic message, if anything he thought it was spam. 

“No,” you whimper the words, his fingers massage at your head slightly, he seemed confused but you also never would’ve guessed he’d cheat. 

“Baby, I don’t see anything about me here. I don’t know who she is and she isn’t following anyone I know.” 

“It’s a hey girlie text, peter!” 

Peter finally sat next to you, your phone in his grasp. “I don’t know what that is,” you groan, “it means like, hey girlie, your man is doing something sus.” 

Peter scrunches his face, “but I don’t know her, look, just message her, ask her to show you.” 

You shake your head fast, “I’d rather not see it, I don’t want to see you with someone else.” 

He huffs, “I’m not cheating! I’m not skilled enough to do that, let alone have enough time in the day!” You sniffed, peter grunted, “fuck this, I’m asking.” 

‘I’d love to see it, girlie!’ 

You wrinkle your nose, almost on automatic response it shoots a reply. 

‘You’re so pretty, I’d love for you to promote our new product! Just add me and download our app, use my name for a free bottle!’ 

Relief fills you, it was a bot, a simple mlm, a pyramid scheme, no real threats. 

“Oh my god, peter, I am so sorry, I didn’t-” 

“Geez Louise, babe. I know I’m nerdy but fucking a robot? C’mon now.” 

A joke, he wasn’t mad. Even after you accused him of the worst betrayal, he was trying to make you feel better. “I was so hurt and scared, I didn’t believe it, or didn’t wanna believe it, so I didn’t message her back but, like, i’m so sorry petey.” 

 Peter presses a kiss to your temple, “it’s okay, baby. It was very convincing, it said hey girlie.” 

You groan and lean into him, “you don’t understand, you will never understand.” 

“Is that a tone? Are you taking a tone up with me? Should I text Cynthia for a good time?” 

You sock his arm, “too soon!” 

[penelopepine]

Forever in Your Gaze Pt. 2

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x Fem Reader

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Summary: Night at the museum AU. Gaz and Reader are both paintings directly across from one another, and have been in love for many years now. The only thing is that they are unable to actually leave the confines of their canvas, and have never felt others touch.

Word Count: 1608

Content: Established relationship, fluff, light angst

Kyle is very unprepared for when the barrier finally broke. He ends up falling out of his frame, and ends up landing flat on his back on the floor. While trying to gain his bearing Kyle can vaguely hear shouting all around him. 

His ears are ringing, and everything at the moment is spinning. It takes a good few minutes to finally come back to himself. When he does the first thing he clearly sees is his painting. It is exactly as it was except that he is no longer visible in it. Kyle feels like he’s having an out of body experience looking up at it. This is the first time he’s ever seen it from this side before. 

The mumbled shouting also becomes much more clear and loud as well. He realizes that the other paintings that were around him are all yelling. As far as Kyle is aware he is the first to actually leave the frame. He knows that he would also be shocked if he had witnessed what he just did. He can’t stay and speak to them though; he needs to help the others find you. 

It's strange how different standing and walking around his painting is compared to the real world. Kyle has to steady himself on the wall as he walks through the door he watched his friends leave out of. He's never actually seen the rest of the museum outside of his area. Kyle knows that he's going to need help figuring out where everything is.

"Price! Soap! Ghost!" He calls out while wandering down the halls. He has no fucking idea where is right now. After a few more minutes of cluelessly walking and shouting Kyle finally sees a familiar figure running towards him, "Soap!" 

"Gaz?" Soap grabs onto his shoulders making Kyle stand face to face with him. Shock is the only thing on his friend's face clearly wondering how he is out of the painting. 

"What? Don't recognize me now that I’m not hanging up on a wall?" Kyle says while smiling at the man in front of him. 

Soap only grins before pulling him into a tight hug. Kyle can't believe that after all this time he's finally able to touch his friend. He's spent so many years inside that painting never being able to truly connect with those that walked by; it's overwhelming finally being able to feel others. 

The two stand there holding each other before Soap suddenly breaks away, placing his hands back on Kyle's shoulders and shaking him lightly, "You're out! How are you out?" 

That actually causes him to pause for a moment because he doesn't know how he got out. He just pushed on the barrier, and then he was out. It doesn't make sense for him to be out. "I…I don't know." Kyle whispers. 

"We'll figure it out later. It doesn’t matter right now; all that matters is that you're out!" Soap shakes him again with a laugh before abruptly gasping, "The others! We have to take you to the others; they're in the lobby right now trying to look up where your girl is." 

Kyle upon hearing that is quick to remember why he’s even here, "Let's go! The sooner we find her the better.” 

At this point walking is much easier for Kyle and he only needs to put one hand on Soap’s shoulder as he leads them to where everyone is. While walking there though he can’t help but be amazed at everything around him. Kyle has spent his entire life in one area of the museum and now it’s like he’s a whole different world. He only wished that he could have experienced all this for the first time with you. 

When the two of them finally enter the lobby both Ghost and Price’s backs are turned to them. They appear to be huddled together over a computer; clearly not detecting their presence as of yet. 

“Oi, lads! Look who I found stumbling around the halls!” Soap calls out to the other two. 

Turning around they clearly weren’t expecting to see Kyle based on the looks on their faces. Curiosity quickly turned into shock upon seeing him in the flesh. 

"Gaz?" Price stands from his seat, and marches straight towards him like a man on a mission. He stops a foot in front of Kyle with a million questions clearly on his mind. 

"Price," Kyle gives him a toothy grin, "good to see you face to face. It's strange not being the one looking down on you though." 

With a deep chuckle Price grabs Kyle and brings him into a tight hug that lasts for several seconds. Before releasing him with a few pats on the shoulder. With that Kyle turns towards his other friend, Ghost. 

Ghost is already standing by Price's side when he is let go. He knows Ghost is not one for being touched so he only reaches a hand out to him. What surprises Kyle though is when Ghost grabs his hand and yanks him into his chest. “Hello, Gaz.” He also whispers before letting go. 

“Hello, Ghost.” He says back with a quick nod. 

“Not that I’m disappointed to see you lad, but how are you standing here right now?” Price tentatively asks. 

Kyle figured that him being out would be a big conversation topic for a while; at least until they can figure out how he did it. He only wished he had a better answer to give. “I honestly don’t know. I just kept pushing and pushing on the barrier, and the next thing I know I’m on the ground.” 

“What happens if we can’t get him back in the painting?” Ghost directs his question towards Price. 

“We’ll get him back in.” Price says certainly before turning his attention back to Kyle, “You’re going to be fine lad; don’t worry.”

“I’m truly more worried about finding my girl. Do you know where she is yet?”

"We are looking into it now," Price leads him to the computer where the screen shows a long list, "This is everything that was moved to storage today, and needs to be properly put away for safekeeping. The only problem is that she is nowhere to be found on said list." 

"What does that mean? Is she not being put in storage then?"

"I'm sure it's just a mistake, Shepherd is the one that put this list together after all." Price gives him a reassuring pat on the shoulder, "She's still in the building; we'll find her."  

Price then turns back to the computer to continue his search in all the files. While he does, Kyle thinks about how you must be feeling right now. He had the comfort of waking up in a place that was familiar to him; you on the other hand were somewhere completely different. He at the very least hoped that you weren’t alone wherever you were. 

It wasn’t until Price all of a sudden stops his typing, and turns to face Kyle does he snap out of his thoughts about you. “I know where she is.” 

“Where!” Kyle is immediately ready to go as soon as those words are uttered to him. It frustrates him that he wouldn’t even know which direction to go in though. He needs to find a map layout of this place and fast. 

“Lad, why don’t you just take a seat for a second.” Price gives a look towards Ghost and Soap subtly letting them know that things might get hectic in just a moment. 

“What is it Price? What are you trying to say?” Kyle refuses to sit. He saw the look Price gave the others, and he was not going to go down without a fight. Not when it comes to you. 

“She’s not on the to be stored list because she’s not being stored,” He calmly states, “She’s set to be moved to a different museum in just a week.” 

“No.” 

“No?” 

“No, I refuse to let that happen.” Kyle feels the angriest he’s ever been in his life at this moment. 

How dare they. 

How fucking dare Shepherd to do this. 

“Gaz!” Soap grabs his shoulder, “Don’t worry we’ll think of something. Your lass isn’t going anywhere.” 

"She's not gone yet; don’t act like she is." Ghost says next, "Where is she Price?" 

"She's over in the docking area right now. The truck will be coming next Friday to pick her up." 

With that, Ghost gives Kyle a light push towards one of the halls, “This way then.” 

This seems to snap Price and Soap out of it, and the two are quick to step in line with them.  They continue to give Kyle reassures that you’re ok, but he doesn’t say anything back. He’s too caught up in his own head to take in what they’re saying right now. 

The closer they got to the docking bay the quieter it got. People tend to stick to the main areas it seems. Which is why when he hears a familiar sounding wail Kyle doesn't think, and just starts running. Using your voice to guide him. 

He doesn't even bother to look back as the others call out his name; the only thing that matters is finding you. It breaks his heart though when he does. 

Your frame is underneath a sheet, keeping you in the dark as you cry out. 

As soon as Kyle is within reach of you he is tearing the sheet off, and dropping to his knees. Letting the first thing you see again be him; just like how everything is meant to be. 

Note: I freaking love this so much, and I'm so excited to continue this story!!!

Taglist: @zarsghost @nexthyperfix @kaoyamamegami

[lizard-dumbass]

Alright so the TOH brainrot has come back in full force after the finale came out so now i too am making one of them lists of things that i liked/stuck out to me. Also sorry if this ends up just being a bunch of incoherent nonsense

HOLY SHIT TITAN!LUZ. the design is so cool what more can i say. Furthermore,

HOLY FUCK LUZ DIED????? i was so not expecting that and good lord was it heartbreaking. Eda and King's reaction to Luz's death were also heartbreaking, and so was the Collector finally realizing what death really is. And oh my god puppet!Camila crying as the balls of light pass by her, showing us that she has had the realization that her daughter died. After the grief and trauma of losing Manny, Camila and Luz had a heart to heart which made their bond stronger than ever, only for Camila to lose Luz aswell.

LUZ SAID THE THING! NOW EAT THIS SUCKAAAAAA!!!!!

THE BOILING ISLES IS BIGENDER BABY! i honestly love the titan so much now. His bad girl coven t-shirt and glyph pants and dad-bod are absolutely everything. (Also what's with the little hooty worm sticking out of her eye socket??)

The goddamn bread pun 😭 that warms my heart so much

The raeda in this episode was IMMACULATE. I was really hoping for a kiss but i'm still happy with what WAD gave us. The loving stares, Raine's absolute joy when Eda and Titan!Luz came to their rescue in the throne room, the hugs and nuzzles, the cuddling in their new nest, etc. They seem so relaxed and happy at the end. The world has been saved and now they can finally live their lives together and rekindle their relationship. Oh and how could i forget the EARRING SWAP!! they're wearing eachother's earrings!!! I've seen quite a few ppl interpreting the exchanging of earrings/jewelry as a marriage custom in the demon realm, implying that Eda and Raine are married in the timeskip. I never cared much for the idea of raeda getting married but you know what? I like this headcanon.

Raine whistling raine's rhapsody/eda's reqiuem.

Hunter is a palisman carver! And he has a new palisman! Apparently the little blue jay's name is Waffles and that's just adorable.

Raine also has a palisman now and it's a little fox! I wonder what their name is though.

The entire hexsquad has matching Flapjack tattoos! Also Flapjack's grave, that gave me so many feels. But im so happy to see how Hunter has healed!

Harpy Lilith!

Eda is the principal of a school now?

Eda's hook arm! Also just everyone's new outfits/appearances in general. I love Raine's fully white hair and their scars and their outfit just oozes gender. I love Luz's outfit and punk eyeliner. I love Amity's hairstyle. I love how Lilith kept her short ginger hairstyle. I love Gus's new hair and his little beard. I love Willow's shorter hair and sporty outfit. Mattholomule has a real mustache now!

Fuck yeah they figured out how to remove sigils so now the BI residents can do magic like the Titan really intended!

Aladarius canon??

Everyone reuniting with their dads. Amity running to Alador whilst Odalia just stands at the side with an annoyed face. Fucking priceless. Willow's dads kissed on screen! Hunter thinking no one would be there for him only for Darius and Eberwolf to show up and accept him into their family. my heart 😭❤️

Eda and Camila finally got to meet!

Luz reuniting with King and Eda made me sob so unbelievably hard.

Luz and Vee graduated together!

Luz goes to college in the demon realm!

I thought she was giving all her Azura stuff away at first but i think she's actually bringing it all with her to college.

I love everything about Luz's quinceañera (or should i say KING-ceañera)

I love the very last part where every character we've come to know and love over these 3 wonderful years (except Odalia lmfao) say "Byeee!" to the audience. What a perfect way to end this series.

I think that's it lol i have so many thoughts

[sneakyblinders]

A Man's Philosophy

A/N: another installment of tommy & his darling wife au! aka. Tommy x Bee. this one is set in 1919... the first time they slept together. <;3 warnings: not canon. sexual themes. mild spice. minors, DNI. The sexual themes in this fic are not suitable for minors. 2.9k words. i take no credit for the gif!

Tommy stood in front of the mirror at his hotel room in London, straightening his tie and smoothing his suit jacket, preparing for his fifth date with Bee. He had told himself that he had to be patient. That she was young, beautiful, still venturing out and seeing the world for what it really was, not the picturesque world her parents had painted for her. 

He had kissed her already, and to say he was getting antsy to have more of her was the understatement of the century. He craved her touch, wanted her, more than he had ever wanted anyone–anything in a long time. 

So when he pulled up in front of her flat in London that Saturday evening in his best suit, he knew he had bad intentions running through his mind. Lustful intentions. He wanted to impress her. Wanted to impress her so badly that he had called in a few favors and got them both a table at a popular London club. She gasped when he told her he managed to get the two of you in, and squealed on the other end of the line. He instructed her to be ready by seven, and to pick whatever dress she wanted from Harrods and that he would swing by on his way back to Birmingham with a wad of cash so she could buy it. Bee told him that was too much but he refused, insisting. So, she indulged him. And the indulgence was worth it. 

He parked the car momentarily, walking up the three flights of stairs to her apartment, rapping on the door. Bee opened it quickly, standing in front of him in a knee length dress, small bunches of beaded embroidery dotting the light blue fabric that clung to her curves. She’d thrown a black shawl over her shoulders, eager to get out of her stuffy apartment on this warm spring evening. 

“Thomas,” she smiled at him. Her hair was perfectly waved and her makeup was–well she’d go so far as to say she’d intentionally made it slightly sultry. He didn’t say anything as she closed your door behind her, setting the lock. “Do I look alright?” She asks subconsciously, hand moving to her hair. 

Tommy shook his head, “You look perfect.” he told Bee before pressing her against your door and kissing her, arms caging her in on either side. 

When he pulled away she was breathless, heart racing. “Good evening to you,” Bee giggled. 

“Come on,” he said, taking her hand and leading her down the stairs. He led Bee to his car, where he opened the passenger side door. 

“Do you have anything else planned for the evening?” She asks as he slides in the driver's seat, starting the engine, his hand immediately going to her thigh. 

He leans in towards her, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “I think we’re gonna go to this club, eat something, drink some, maybe dance if you like,” he pressed a kiss to the side of her neck. “And then I’m gonna bring you back to my hotel room and do unspeakable things to you,” he rasped, nipping her earlobe. 

An unfamiliar heat pooled between her thighs and she let out a small gasp. “Oh,” was all she could say in response. 

Bee had been frank with Thomas about most things he had inquired about, but the one thing she had been not too eager to admit was her lack of experience with men. 

Thomas was the first man who ever showed any real interest in her. Sure, there had been boys in school who asked her to the dances and took her to movie houses, but they were never any relationships of significance. She’d see them a few times and then it would fizzle out, they would move on to the next girl and she would move on to the next boy. She had been kissed before, but not with the passion and heat that Thomas gave her, no, certainly not. And she’d certainly never seen a man naked before. 

So the prospect of this man, this intoxicating, powerful, handsome, brilliant man taking her to bed tonight was in short–overwhelming. 

He drove them to the club, one called Embassy, and held his breath that she would still be as excited about it now as she was earlier in the week when he had told her. And she was. But he could sense some sort of hesitation, or reservation that she had about something. 

He ordered them both a drink and let her pick what she wanted to eat. He had told her on their first date that nothing was off limits and encouraged her to order whatever she wanted. Bee eyed him apprehensively from across the table after she’d ordered and he had asked for the same thing. He licked his lips and smirked at her. “You look stunning,” he said from across the table. 

Bee blushed under his gaze. “Thank you, Thomas.” 

After they both ate their food, Tommy took Bee to the dance floor, where he held her closely against his chest, a possessive hold on her body, daring any other man to ask her to dance. No one did. 

After an hour or so of dancing, Bee’s legs were tired and she asked Tommy if they could return to your table. “How about we just leave, hm?” he asked as she led him back to your table. 

She turned around when they reached their table, and he pulled out a wad of cash, putting enough on the table to pay for the meal and a generous tip. “Leave? So soon?” She asks, heart beating quickly in her chest. 

“The plans I have for us will last quite a while longer, angel.” he says, the baritone of his voice sparking something alight inside her, his hand grazing her lower back as he pulls his jacket back over his shoulders. 

She knew she had to tell him, she just didn’t know when or how or what to even say or how to bring it up. She didn’t want him needy and panting above her before she blurted out that she’d never done this before, but she also didn’t want the shock of seeing him naked in front of her written all over her face either. 

The ride back to his hotel was quiet. He massaged her thigh with one hand while the other steered the car. Bee’s mind whirred, every nerve in her body on alert.

He handed the keys to the valet and led her up to his hotel room on the top floor. “Thomas,” she started, shrugging her shawl off her shoulders as he went to pour himself a drink. 

“Hm?” he mumbled, the glass clinking against the barcart in the corner.

“I um, I don’t know exactly how to say this but–” he cut her off, striding across the room to her, grasping her chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting her face up to meet his gaze. 

“You’re an excellent dancer,” he whispered, pressing his lips to hers. 

She stepped out of her shoes, shrinking by a few inches. He cupped her face in his hands, the metal of his rings cool against her skin. 

“Thomas,” she started to try again when he pulled away, placing open mouthed kisses to the side of her neck. “Thomas, I–”

“Sh… let me take care of you.” he mumbled, pressing a kiss to her collarbone, causing a moan to escape her lips. 

Take care of me? Bee’s mind whirred with more questions than she thought you had. Her knowledge of sex was limited to the information she had heard her girlfriends talk of, and most of it was that they left more dissatisfied than when they started–that sex was for the man and very little for the woman. 

He pulled her from your intrusive thoughts, literally, and into the bedroom of his suite. Eyeing her, he unclasped his cufflinks, letting them fall to the dresser with a clatter. He pulled his holster off his shoulders, setting it on the chair by the door. His sleeve garters and braces were next, and, with a sudden sense of boldness and maybe intuition, she walked over to him and began unbuttoning his shirt. He smiled softly down at her as he began to unzip her dress in the back. Bee’s heart raced, unsure if she was really ready for this. And calculating when exactly was the right time to lay this in his lap. 

After his shirt was discarded, he helped her step out of her dress. Bee stood there, in nothing more than her bra and underwear. He let out a low growl, backing her against the bed. She fell onto it when the backs of her knees made contact with the mattress. He climbed on top of her, pressing needy kisses onto the tops of her breasts, grinding his hips against hers. 

She let out a surprised yelp, which caused him to pause his actions, if only for a second, to look at her in the eyes. “Are you alright?” he asked, noticing the color draining from her face. 

“Thomas–I–I have something I need to tell you,” she stammered, her hands on his chest. “I’ve never–never been with a man before.” She tells him and his facial expression changes. He climbs off of her slowly, standing up and moving to the nightstand where he grabs a cigarette and a match. “I’m sorry–I should’ve told you long ago.” She says, tears stinging her eyes. 

He doesn’t meet your expression, jaw clenched as he takes his first drag on that cigarette. A million thoughts slam into his mind at once. What was he doing with a good girl like her? A good, innocent, smart girl? He would be her ruin, there was no way around it. But oh, he cared for her. He’d only known her barely a month and he cared for her. His world had changed that moment when she’d made him drop his bottle of whiskey, ruining his suit pants. He’d looked up and looked into her eyes and there she was. Like she was made for him. Like she’d just been dropped into his lap. 

These conflicting thoughts wrestled in his mind as he smoked, looking out the window. 

“Thomas,” she said in a small voice. “Thomas, say something, please.” 

He stubbed his cigarette out in the ashtray, clearing his throat. He shook his head. “You’re too good for me,” she opened her mouth to speak but he continued. “I’ve had a feeling all along that we’ve been together, but this just confirmed it for me, angel. You’re far too good for a man like me.” 

She sat on the end of the bed, getting cold, rubbing her arms for warmth, feeling more bare than ever. She chewed the inside of her cheek nervously, tears threatening to spill over her waterline. 

“Sweetheart,” he says softly, sitting on the bed next to her. “You deserve a man who will give you a comfortable, safe, brilliant life. A man who doesn’t have blood on his hands, who doesn’t have nightmares every night of the horrors he’s seen. A man who doesn’t drink whiskey like water and chainsmoke,” he said, chuckling to himself as he eyed his pack of cigarettes on the nightstand, aching for another one right then. “You deserve an honest, good man to take care of you. Not a man like me.” 

Bee’s heart cracked in her chest. She could feel it. The last month of getting to know Thomas, she knew he was rough. She knew he had demons. She knew he was a dangerous man who was involved in dangerous circles. She knew he was a man who did what he wanted and didn’t care what others thought or how it impacted their lives. Hell, the other night he had just admitted to marrying his younger brother off to a Gypsy family to put an end to a feud and didn’t care what his brother had to say about it. But, past all of these negative qualities, she could see something in his eyes when he laughed. Something in his eyes when he smiled, when he looked at her. When he told her to order whatever you want. She could see pieces of a wonderful man, pieces she wanted to put together, pieces she was willing to cut herself on if it meant being just a little closer to him. To his heart. 

“But what if I want a man like you, Thomas?” She says softly, eyes locking with his. 

“You don’t know what you’re saying.” he said, shaking his head. 

“I do. I know how you are. I’ve heard of what you do. And despite all of it, I’ve still answered the phone every time you’ve called, and gone every place with you that you’ve asked. I want to be with you, Thomas. Please believe me.” 

And he did. Oh he did. A romantic, optimistic piece of him that he thought he left in the tunnels in France resurfaced in that moment and he kissed her. He kissed her deeply, rolling her onto her back on the bed. 

“Are you sure?” he asked, pulling away, his forehead against hers. 

“Yes, Thomas.” 

“Because, after we do this–I don’t think I can ever let you go.” he said, his nose brushing against hers. 

“I don’t want you to let me go.” 

She wasn't sure how long later, he rolled off of her, breathless. She thought certainly he was going to die at any moment. “Are you alright?” She asked, breathless yourself. Were they both going to die here? Now? Like this? 

He smiled, a hand on his chest, the other dramatically draped over his forehead. “I am blissed out of my fucking brains, yes, I am alright. More than alright, actually.” 

He went to the washroom in his suite and she heard him running water. He returned with a warm rag and proceeded to begin to clean her up, starting with her most intimate parts. She hissed at the sensation, body sore. 

“Sorry,” he apologized, applying less pressure. “You may be sore for a little while.” 

He ran the warm rag over her inner thighs, her stomach, breasts and neck, pressing gentle kisses to your temples. “Is that how it always is?” She asks as he throws the cloth to the floor, satisfied with how she was cleaned. 

“What?” he asked, lying down next to her, pulling them both under the blankets. 

“Sex, is it always like that?” She asks. She wanted to ask if it was always that intense, that deep, that pleasurable, but in fear of being too frank, refrained. 

“With me, yes, it will be.” he said, pressing a full kiss to her lips. 

“I didn’t think–didn’t think it would feel like that for me.” She says, blushing. 

“Why would you say that?” he asks, thumb gently stroking her cheek. 

“My friends–the ones who have been with men before–they say that it’s not really pleasurable for a woman. That it’s more for the man's satisfaction than anything.” 

Tommy chuckled. “That’s a boy's philosophy, Darling,” he eyed her with a gaze so caring, so kind, her heart could’ve burst at that moment. “Your pleasure comes before mine, and the day I forget that,” he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Remind me, eh?” 

Thomas Shelby never forgot. 

The next morning Bee was awoken with Tommy’s head between her legs, her calves draped over his shoulders, body already trembling.  

“Thomas,” she moaned as the pleasure overwhelmed her. 

Tommy smirked, pulling away long after she was satiated and reached into the nightstand. A glittering diamond anklet was stashed there safely, ready for this exact moment. 

“What’s that?” she asked as he pressed kisses to her ankle, her foot, her leg. 

“Something for you to wear,” he smirked, loving how it looked on her. 

“Does it mean anything?” she asked. 

He smiled softly, running a hand up and down her smooth, soft legs. “Means you’re mine,” he said, crawling on top of her, kissing her, grinding his hips against hers. 

“I’m yours!” she gasped. 

He paused, pressing his forehead into hers, breathing heavily, head swimming with lust, desire overtaking every sense. “I’m the only one? The only one to ever see you like this?” he asked. 

“Yes,” she breathed, hands cupping his face gently as he pressed his lips against hers. “Do you like that?” she asked apprehensively. 

“Fuck,” he breathed. “Yes, my sweet girl, I love it,” he kissed her again. “You’re perfect. Made for me.” 

“Just for you, Tommy,” she breathed. 

He made love to her slowly, languidly, making her tremble under his touch, aching for more. 

“I think you’ll regret awakening this–sexual side of me, Thomas,” she giggled as they got cleaned up for lunch. 

“Why’s that?” he asked absentmindedly, focusing on shaving. 

“Because I think I may give you a run for your money on who has the bigger appetite,” she laughed, pulling her stockings up her legs. 

He raised his eyebrows, eyeing her in the mirror, the hungry way she looked at him. “Fine by me, Angel. Fine by me.” 

tag list: if tumblr isn't allowing me to tag you, please see this link for reasons why the tags aren't working. (most likely #3)

@peakyltd @cctoma @lyarr24 @shelbyteller @mrsnshelby88 @skydisneylover @babygaga67 @mariarozasworld @kemillyfreitas @cyphah

[ayelbee]

hey! can i request a fic where kylian is engaged to his actress + model gf (reader) and one night out with all of their friends, the gf finds out that kylian had dated model imaan hammam (reader's competition / enemy) which makes the gf feel insecure, assumes the worst of their current relationship and end the engagement which leaves a desperate kylian trying to run around to try and fix the relationship

thanks in advance if you take this up! (:

BROKEN | K. MBAPPÉ | ONE SHOT

Summary: request

TW: a few course words, low self-esteem of a reader, mentions of toxic relationship, the reader being emotional mess

Notes: 1. thank you for the request<3 2. This is the longest thing i have ever written in english, so once again i am sorry for my grammar mistakes... i am not really sure about my writing skills when it comes to low self-esteem, so read this on your own risk.

------------

Being insecure was one of the things you hated the most about yourself. You knew where did that come from and that was also the reason why you hated that so much.

You were a student when you got your first role, it wasn't even a big one and due to that you never knew how much blow-up you will. But you did, there was no way you were staying at school but there was also no way that you would handle this without a manager. You were young and naive so you signed up a contract with the first agent that gave you an offer. You signed up a contract with Thomas.

Thomas was just a few years older than you, he was handsome and very likable. But most importantly he knew how this industry worked. Everyone loved him and after a few months of working with him, you loved him too.

He was your first real love, at least you thought that back then.

After a few months of dating him, he turned into a different person. His manager side of personality kicked in.

He started telling you how you could become a model since you have already done some shots for a few magazines. But he told you that you could do runways, be in Vogue and become a face of these luxury brands.

Just if you could lose some weight

die your hair

change your style

stop wearing glasses

and this list could continue...

And because the little girl in you believed him, you did all of the things he wanted. And after another few months, you were a whole new person. You were in more and more magazines, but you lost yourself on the way there. You didn't even like the person in a mirror that you became.

After all you didn't know who you were and he didn't really care. Because all he cared for was the money he made from you and he wasn't even trying to make things look like he cared about you. But love is blind and you really loved him.

You loved him until you saw him with another girl, with a real model, in YOUR apartment, in YOUR OWN bed.

You found out that he was seeing her since the second month that you two have been dating. Every time you had work away, where he couldn't go because of his "other clients" he was with her. He was taking her on these expensive trips, that he paid with YOUR money and she knew it.

So that was the story that fucked your trust and your mental health but mostly it broke your heart.

Then you met Kylian. A sweet, loving, caring french guy that showed you how real love really looked. He repaired your heart. Heart, that he didn't break. He showed you how to love yourself, and he helped you to find yourself again. Because he truly loved you.

He gave you a fairytale that you have dreamed of since you were a child. And now, two and half years later since you met him you were engaged. Some people would tell you that you were too young for an engagement and that you didn't even know each other that well. But those speeches were lies. Because you and Kylian knew that you two belong with each other. You won't find another two people on Earth that are meant to be together as much as you two are.

------------

"Kylian" you called for your fiancee as you were looking inside your closet.

"What Cheri." his head appeared in the doorway with a smile on his face.

"I don't know what to wear." you complained. You were going out with Achraf and Hiba tonight. "Help me." you looked at him with a desperate face. Kylian just laughed coming closer to you as he wrapped his hand around your waist.

"Let me take a look." now he slightly pushed you away as he started searching in your closet. "Pants or dress?"

"I don't know." you hummed into his back.

"Okay, I've got an idea." he stepped back as he placed a black mini skirt on your hands. He turned around and went straight to his closet where he started to search for something, after a few seconds he was back with his shirt. "And you do your magic now." he smirked.

------------

"Here are our love birds," Hiba said as you two reached the table in your favorite restaurant. You greeted the other pair with a hug and a few words.

"I hope that you didn't wait for us too long. But Kylian called the uber too late." both of them laughed, while Kylian gave you disapproving look.

"Well I would call it sooner if you didn't need my help." he was playing offended now.

"I needed you like for three seconds so shus." you placed a kiss on his cheek. That always worked since he was such a sucker for you.

------------

Two glasses of wine later you were watching Hiba's phone as she was showing you some pictures of their kids. You took your eyes off the phone screen for a moment to look at Kylian. He seemed to sense your gaze and looked into your eyes. You smiled because all you could think about at that moment was how one day you'd have kids together. Then you looked back at Hiba, who saw the nonverbal exchange between the two of you.

She wanted to say something but a strange voice interrupted her.

"Kylian!" a high voice came from behind Kylian, you looked in her direction. Recognizing Imaan Hammam. Your jaw almost dropped, but you didn't let anything show, staying calm from the outside.

"Imaan." he turned to stand up as he hugged her. You furrowed your brows together. His hand found yours when he sat back. Making you even more confused. "This is Y/n, my fiancee." he introduce you as you politely smiled. Which wasn't really the thing you wanted to do. After that you looked at the other couple, both of their faces were covered up in weird expressions. Something you didn't understand.

"Y/n. I'm a huge fan of yours!" she exclaimed happily. "Ever since you two became official i wanted to ask Kylian if he could introduce us, but in the end, i thought that you won't want to meet his ex." she laughed. Now your jaw dropped. Did you understand her right? Kylian squeezed your hand, while on the other hand, you loosened your grip. Hiba uncomfortably shuddered while Achraf tensed. All of a sudden you wanted to disappear. Imman was looking like she was waiting on your response, but you didn't say anything. "Will you be at the world cup Y/n?"

"Yeah, I am coming with Kylian." you awkwardly responed.

"Of course you are." she laughed again. She was probably just trying to be nice to you. But that was the last thing you were feeling. "Then maybe we could meet up there." she placed her hand on Kylian's shoulder, making you tense. You saw how Hiba squeezed Achraf's wrist, probably trying to tell him to say something.

"You are coming?" Achraf spoke to her.

"Yeah! I'm gonna be there cheering for the Marocan team to win." was she actually doing something more than just laughing? Where was her energy coming from? "Anyway guys, I'm seeing my friend over there, so I will leave you all. Enjoy your night!" she explained. You didn't even have time to breathe in and she was already gone.

"So I think that we will pay?" Hiba spoke, but you stayed silent.

------------

"Y/n." Kylian placed his hand on your tight in the car, trying to start the conversation after the unpleasant turn of the evening. You didn't respond, you just turned up the radio. You knew that you will need to talk about this later, but you didn't feel like talking about it now.

There were reasons why you were silent. Why you felt so sad, disappointed, and broken at the moment.

You were honest with Kylian from the start. He knew everything and till today you felt like you have known everything too. He knew about your relationships and you knew all about his relationships. But he had never mentioned Imman.

Never.

Why? You didn't know.

You were sure that she was an amazing and nice person, but you hated her. Because she was perfect. She was everything you weren't and why did it bother you so much? Because people were comparing the two of you all the time, always making you worse.

Everything started in 2019. That year was hell for your personal life, but also the peak of your career life. You made three movies, a few runway walks, and your first cover for Vogue that year.

First cover of Vogue was supposed to be something that will end up in your memory as a happy thing, but it didn't. Instead, it ended up as a trauma.

You were on the July cover in the UK, that same month was Imman on the cover of Italian Vogue and that was the problem. That was the moment when people started comparing you to her. Till today you remember that one tabloid, that started everything.

The whole tabloid was about how awful a person you are, who clearly doesn't belong to a fashion magazine, let alone on the runway. While on the other side why is Imman the best person in the world.

This article spread everywhere. Twitter was full of it, and your Instagram was full of it too. It was everywhere and you hated that.

The worst part was that this wave continued.

Beautiful Imman Hamman and Y/n who looks like she came straight from rehab just arrived at the British fashion awards just few minutes apart!!

Imman Hamman rocks the runway as Y/n sits in the publicum like a little fan

Why would you be fan of Y/n when you can be fan of Supermodel and activist Imaan Hammam

There were thousands of tabloids like this. But you ignored all of them since you started to date Kylian. But today when you found out about her history with Kylian, you blamed yourself for ignoring them.

------------

You went straight to bed after you arrived home. Your head was still full of Imman. All you wanted to do now was to go to sleep, but this wasn't in Kylian's plan.

"Mon Cheri talk to me please" Kylian sat on the bed next to you. His hand tried to find yours, but you didn't let him touch you. "just don't be silent. I am sorry that i didn't tell you about her, but it wasn't anything serious and she actually didn't mean anything to me." he was looking into your eyes, guilt visible on his face.

Kylian regrets not telling you about her. But he was serious when he told you that she didn't mean anything to him. Ever since he met you you were the only one who mattered. He would also say that he forgot about Imman. Because in his eyes, she was no one, but you were everything.

"Why did you lie to me?" you wanted to cry. You felt like all of the confidence you built in this relationship was gone that moment when Imman spoke.

"I didn't lie Y/n", I would never lie to you." now he took your hands. Starting to draw circles on your palms as he was trying to calm you down. Kylian knows everything about you. He knows how you react, he knows how you feel. He knows every single detail about you. And in this moment he saw how upset and disappointed you were in him.

"But you never mentioned her. While i told you about every man in my life.." you weren't a noisy person. Even when you were angry you never shouted. You hated aggression, and you hated fights so you've always tried to avoid these things. So even now when you wanted to scream into Kylian's face, you did nothing.

"Do you know why I didn't say anything to you, Y/N,¨? Because I'm not blind, because I've seen how they compared the two of you everywhere, making you out to be the worst thing in the world while you're the best thing in the world. Because when I met you you didn't believe in yourself, because you believed those articles and I knew if I mentioned it you'd run away from me, you wouldn't believe that I only wanted you, that I really loved you. I knew that you'd think I was lying to you while I was cheating on you with her somewhere. But it was never like that. Because right from the start, all I saw was you and no one else. And by the time you had built up your confidence and trust for me, I had forgotten about her. That's why I have never mentioned her."

"Let's go sleep." you answerd in a low tone. Kylian smiled a little. He lay down next to you, his arms wrapped around your body. You relaxed your head on the pillow as you closed your eyes.

------------

You weren't asleep. Your head couldn't stop thinking. Imman kept coming up in your mind over and over again. Her perfect body, perfect skin. The way she cared about others. How she does everything she can to make the world a better place. She fights for the weak, she fights for the sick, and she would fight for Kylian.

You could have tried your best, but you would never have been as perfect as her. You could give yourself away, but you still wouldn't give as much to the world as she did.

After you heard Kylian's calm breathing, confirming that he had fallen asleep, you slowly crept out of his embrace and moved to the bathroom with your phone. You opened your Instagram as you sat on the bathroom floor.

You just started doing something you've been forbidding yourself for the last two years. But suddenly you just had to, you know that your brain won't stop until you do it.

You started scrolling thru the comments on your latest post. There were thousands of positive comments, but your brain was able to read just the negative ones. Your heart was breaking with every hate comment. You had a lot of, not more than the positive ones, but your head didn't care

Suddenly, you found yourself stuck in a cycle where time didn't exist and you kept scrolling despite how tired you were. It wasn't just your pictures any more, it was your pictures with Kylian. Now it was also the comments under Kylian's personal posts. You don't know how it happened but suddenly you weren't on instagram anymore but you were reading one critical article after another about yourself

Your cheeks were wet with tears, your hands were shaking and it was hard to breathe now. You stopped. Frustration was vibrating thru your body. You didn't know what to the. The words started to get blurry and seconds later you were throwing your phone across the room. Phone with a bang landed right next to the sink.

And that's when it hit you. Kylian could wake up at any moment. Find out what a wreck you are, and he'd leave before the sun came up. You couldn't let it this way.

You quickly stood up making your way to the sink, where you rinsed your face with cold water. You saw a concealer on the counter so you grabbed it trying to smooth out your puffy eyes. After that, you made your way back to the bedroom where you went back to pretending that you were sleeping. Kylian's hands once again found your waist as he pulled you closer.

At that moment you made your decision, you will became better and if not, you will leave Kylian for his own good, because he deserves way better than you.

------------

Kylian woke up a few hours later, he though that you were still sleeping so he left without a word for training. But he didn't know you were up all night.

The moment you heard the front door slam, you rolled out of bed. Making your straight way to the storage room, where you grabbed one of the luggage, after that, you started to fill it up with clothes and the most important things you knew you needed.

You weren't packing everything, because there was still lite hope in you that you will change for Kylian and that you will come back.

24 hours ago you wouldn't do this, but now you were brainwashed after all the hours on the bathroom floor with your phone in your hands. You weren't thinking irationally, but now you didn't care. Before you left with one luggage and a giant bag you sat in the kitchen taking paper with a pen as you started writing a quick note for Kylian.

Kylian I don't deserve you, I've spent the last two years pretending I deserve you, but I don't. You deserve someone you don't have to be ashamed of, someone who's on the same level as you, and that's not me. I'm not leaving yet, I am just taking some time for myself so I can become better for you. I'm gonna try my hardest to be the one you deserve me to be. And If I am gonna fail, I am gonna completely leave your life. I'm leaving because I love you, so please don't be angry at me.

You looked at your left hand, seeing there the engagement ring that Kylian gave you. You were always running from problems as soon as they shoved up. But this time you wanted to come back and you needed motivation for it. So you took the ring off your finger and placed it next to the paper.

"I am gonna come back for you babe." you take last look around the room and you left.

Every single memory on you and Kylian flooded thru your head as you were leaving the building. All of the happy memories you shared in this flat. All of the things you were currently leaving behind, but you doing it for him, for your future together.

------------

Kylian came home exhausted, the only thing he currently wanted was you in his hug. He wanted that even more after the not-nice ending of yesterday's dinner. You were the one who could calm Kylian down after everything, that's why he knew how important you were to him.

He called your name, but you didn't answer. Normally you would run to him. to be the one who will start the hug. But you didn't come. Kylian furrowed his eyebrows. He was confused.

He went to the living room, but you weren't there, you weren't even in the bedroom. So where were you? Did you forget to mention to him that you had plans today? He was taking out his phone from his pocket as he reached the kitchen, where he saw something that confused him even more.

He fastly reached the table. Your ring was sitting on a small piece of paper. He grabbed it and started reading fast. With every new word he was getting more and more confused, his frustration growing only more.

Kylian was angry. He wanted to scream. What happened in your head? Why were you acting like a stupid person. Kylian started running around the apartment with fear in his eyes., only now noticing how much of your stuff was gone. This must have been a stupid joke. You have must gone crazy. He was trying to call you, but his phone was saying that your number didn't exist.

After another crazy minute, Kylian realized that you were being serious. He panicked. He didn't even notice that he started crying when he started reading your note and now his sobs were getting louder and louder.

He called Achraf, needing him now. After Achraf heard Kylian voice he knew that something was wrong. Kylian was panicking, making Achraf go as fast as possible to his place.

There he found him crying in the middle of room, which was covered in the shards from the vase Kylian angrily threw at the wall.

Kylian knew from the start how self-conscious you were. That's why he never bring Imman up. He knew how broken you were from your previous relationship, but he never thought about you getting back to this old mindset where you were nothing. Because that was the biggest lie, you have ever believed in.

You were every men's dream. You were the best thing Kylian ever had. He's never known anyone as caring, as supportive as you. You always wanted the best for other people, making you forget about yourself. You loved Kylian so much, you loved his family and they have loved you. You were the most beautiful person on the planet. You could make him smile every time. You were the one.

But now you were gone because that one man broke you. He made you believe that you weren't enough, that you were less than the others. Which was the biggest lie in the world.

Kylian hated that man, even though he never met him. If he could kill, he would kill him for breaking you. You didn't deserve this. Anyone who deserved your love should have been looking out for you. Everyone should be bringing you gold from heaven, but this asshole still dared to destroy you.

You didn't deserve anything from this and Kylian needed to make things right again, but how could he when he didn't know where you were.

------------

"Calm down, we will make this right." Achraf sighed after Kylian finished explaining what happened. Kylian just put his head into his hands. He didn't know if he was angry or sad. But he was definitely traumatized. "I'm gonna call Hiba, to find out were Y/n is. Okay?" he placed his hand on Kylian shoulder. Kylian sobbed.

He thought that he calmed you down yesterday. That the two of were okay. He hated himself for not kissing you in the morning before he left for training. He was thinking about everything he could have done for you to not leave him. But he didn't so now it was just his fault. It took Achraf a few minutes to quickly explain the situation to his wife

------------

Hiba didn't waste a second calling you as soon as her call with Achraf ended. She knew that you were smart enough to find out why she was trying to find your address. So she chose a different way to approach you.

"Hiba?" you asked hesitantly. It occurred to you that Kylian might call you from the other side, but on the other hand, it would be Achraf rather than her, so you decided to take the call.

"Y/n." Hiba tried to sound like everything was normal. "Achraf called me that they are stuck at the training for a few more hours so I thought that we could go for an early dinner together. We didn't have enough time to catch up yesterday." Hiba tried to be careful, to not scare you.

You were silent for a few seconds. Your brain was trying to find the right answer.

"Well I would love to go, but i am not really in the mood for going out." you almost didn't lie.

"Oh that's fine, we can just order a takeaway to our place." Hiba didn't want to take no for an answer.

"I don't think that Achraf would want me at your place when he's gonna come back tired from the training." problem was that you weren't planning on agreeing.

"He's gonna get home late, he's going out with his brother after the training." Hiba was telling big lies. In the end, you had no choice but to agree, unless you wanted Hiba to see that something was wrong.

She told you that she will be expecting you in two hours time. After the phone ended up you buried your head in the pillow and wished for your death.

Hiba immediately called Achraf to tell him you'd be at their house in two hours. She instructed Kylian to come with Achraf, promising that everything will be right.

------------

Kylian was nervously pacing around the living room. His palms were sweating as he was waiting on your arrival. On the way here he bought you the biggest bouquet of peonies he has ever seen, the ring was in his pocket as he needed to put it back on your finger tonight. Achraf was in the kid's room hiding, while Hiba was waiting in the kitchen.

She was supposed to open the doors for you and bring you to the living room, where Kylian would start talking.

When Kylian heard the knock on the front door. His body tensed up, praying for your forgiveness. He also heard your voice as you greeted Hiba. He wanted to rush into the hallway to hug you, maybe even to scream at you for your behavior. But he stayed in place, too scared to do something.

His body got into motion when you reached the living room with Hiba behind your back. You froze in your place as you noticed him.

You had shock written all over your face, you wanted to run away from him, but you couldn't. Your legs were glued to the floor. You just couldn't move.

Kylian, on the other hand, immediately walked towards you. He wanted to wrap his hands around your body. He wanted to kiss you. But he couldn't because he was too scared that you would run away from him.

"Please tell me that I don't make you feel like someone less worthy." you could hear the pain in Kylian's words. You also noticed how puffy Kylian's eyes were, which hurt you. Was it because of you?

"No" you answered "but you deserve more than I am. I am a disaster, i am a mess of human being" Kylian didn't let you finish.

"That's not the true cheri. Because I am the one who does not deserve you." only now did you notice the bouquet he held in his hands, Kylian placed it on the ground, stepped closer and took his hands in yours. "I wish i could show you how amazing you are. You are a beautiful person from the inside out Y/n. You are special, you are unique. No one can make me laugh the way you do. No one can make me feel loved like you do, no one Y/n. You inspire me to be the best that i can be. You are always there when i need you, and you are always able to calm me down, which no one else can. The way you light up the room with your smile. The way you make small moments special, everything about you is perfect and i would not want to change a thing. You deserve the world and I wanna give to you all." a tear slipped down Kylian's cheek. "You are my world Y/n, you are my home. I belong with you, not with anyone else. I need you now and i will need you in 50 years when we are gonna be old. You are the only thing that really matters to me. And i can't lose you. You are perfect so please do not change for me, because you are already everything to me.." you were crying at this point.

You realized how wrong you were, how you shouldn't listen to your stupid head. How you should told Kylian about what was your head thinking about. How did you feel last night. Because if you did that, you would not hurt your man.

"Mon cheri please go home with. Let me put the ring back on your finger and let me tell you how much in love with you I am." Kylian came closer to you, your bodies were touching. You looked up into his eyes as you put your hands behind his head.

"I am so sorry babe for leaving you. I should have told you about how i felt, i should have talk to you before i did this. But i really love you and i never wanna leavae you again." Kylian felt your lips on his. It wasn't passionate kiss, but it was kiss of two crying people, promising each other that they will be better. Better at expresing their feelings, their worries, their thoughts.

She won't run away when problems appear and he won't take her for granted. They will make this work once again.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hi steph!!!! hope you're doing great!!!! any fic posts you havent published yet but would.love to! i am your sign from the universe :D

Hi Nonny!

Sorry for how long I took to use this ask, but I kept it until I've run out of requests for lists I've ready-to-post, so THANK YOU!!!!

I have a few lists-from-asks I'm currently working on but nothing ready for right now, LOL. So let's see... How about this one, which I doubt will get requests anytime soon, so I hope this pleases you guys!! <3 Enjoy!

G, T & M-RATED JOHNLOCK FOR NEWCOMERS Pt. 3 (20K+)

See also:

E-Rated Johnlock for Newcomers Pt 1 (Short Fics under 20K)

E-Rated Johnlock for Newcomers Pt 2

G,T, & M-Rated Johnlock for Newcomers Pt. 1 (Under 5K)

G,T, & M-Rated Johnlock for Newcomers Pt. 2 (5K-20K)

Novel-Length, Not-So-Angsty Recs for Newbies

You're On the Air by prettysailorsoldier (M, 20,616 w., 1 Ch. || Unilock, Matchmaking, Radio, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Flirting, Bisexual John) – The Consulting Detective and The Woman dominate the airwaves of their university radio station, doling out advice on everything from meeting the parents to sexual positions. When their ratings start to dip before the holidays, however, manager Mike thinks it's time for some fresh blood, and who better to fill in the gaps than rugby captain--and notorious flirt--John Watson? Part 1 of 25 Days of Johnlock

The Real Meaning of Idioms by feverishsea (T, 21,691 w., 13 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Texting, Humour, Post-TRF, Awkward Romance, Idiots in Love) - After two weeks away, John finally texts Sherlock. He doesn’t expect Sherlock to respond. He doesn’t expect Sherlock to keep texting him. And he really doesn’t expect things to spiral out of control so rapidly.

5 Times John Got the Girl (and lost her) and 1 Time John Got the Guy (and kept him) by LiviKate (M, 21,695 w., 6 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Kissing, Oblivious / Awkward Sherlock, BAMF / Sexy / Stud John, Embarrassed John, John’s Scar, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Sherlock) – John has always had good luck with the ladies. He's charming, friendly and funny, not to mention great in bed. However, his usual skill with the opposite sex is constantly being thwarted by Sherlock and his outbursts. How will John ever get a leg over when Sherlock is always cockblocking him?

Ghost Stories by SwissMiss (M, 22,256 w., 1 Ch. || Pining, Holmes Family, Christmas, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, First Time) – Sherlock's parents think he and John are a couple. They might be onto something.

Trust Me, Trust Nobody by BlueMoonOnTheRise (T, 27,751 w., 10 Ch. || Kidnapping, Friendship / No Slash, Adventure, Trust Issues) – Whatever he told Mycroft, John trusted Sherlock almost instantly. When a new case shows up - smattered with the usual thrill of danger, death and cool logic - such trust ends up pushed to its very limits... 

To Mend Icarus by AlessNox (T, 29,186 w., 14 Ch. || Post-TRF, Friendship, Drama, BAMF!John, Emotional Turmoil, Introspection, Harry is in this Fic, Angry John, Happy Ending, Queerplatonic Relationship) – After a case lands John Watson in court, he tells Sherlock that he is leaving. Not understanding why, Sherlock decides that the only way to learn the truth is to investigate his flatmate, Dr. John Watson. A revision of the story Mending Icarus.

Domestic Matters by ohlooktheresabee (M, 29,404 w., 6 Ch. || Fantasy AU || First Meetings, Developing Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Domestic Fluff, BAMF Sherlock, BAMF John, Idiots in Love, Misunderstandings, Supernatural Elements, Implied / Referenced Child Abuse, Elf Sherlock, Human/Elf Politics, Emotional Abuse, Possessive Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, Buddy Greg) – All flatmates need to work out domestic matters between them - who does the dishes, who takes out the rubbish, how often does the carpet need to be vacuumed - these are part and parcel of sharing a living space together. However, when you’re an elf and your flatmate is going to be a human you just met, this rather complicates things…Very loosely inspired by 'The Elves and The Shoemaker' by The Brothers Grimm.

Love or What You Will by miss_frankenstein (T, 31,987 w., 11 Ch. || College/Uni AU || Professor John, Ph.D Student Sherlock, Pining John, Poetry, Falling in Love / Slow Burn, Light Angst, Happy Ending) – John is an English professor who specializes in War and Post-War Literature and Sherlock is the brilliant yet impossible Ph.D. student assigned to be his TA because no one in the Chemistry Department is willing to put up with him. And - somewhere between Waugh and Plath, e-mails and takeaway, novels and villanelles - they fall in love.

Our Enthusiasms Which Cannot Always Be Explained by withoutawish (M, 32,961 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Case Fic, Mild Gore, Sherlock Whump) – The list that is tacked haphazardly on the refrigerator of 221B reads, ‘Kidney(s), and/or a full cadaver (preferably male, late 30s, under six feet tall), bag of fresh toes, sixteen cow’s eyes (corneas retained), dual exhaust hand –held flame thrower, an unopened first edition copy of Joseph Conrad’s 'Heart of Darkness', and no less than ten abhorrently gruesome murders in the upcoming month.” The one neatly hanging next to it simply reads, “Sex.” One of these lists is not John Watson’s. If John Watson were to put what he really wanted in list form, to live in a land somewhere beyond ‘almosts' now that Sherlock Holmes has indeed returned to him, he would never be able to look his flatmate in the eye ever again.

Chaperones by MissDavis (T, 34,114 w., 7 Ch. || 11 Years Post-S4, Fake Relationship, Parentlock, Disney World, Bed / Room Sharing, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, First Kiss, Obsessive Sherlock, Insecure John) – Right. Of course. Everyone assumed they were a couple and no one would question it. John put his elbows up on the table so he could rest his head in his hands. "You want to pretend to be a couple so we can chaperone a trip to Disney World with Rosie's class and you won't have to share a room with a stranger?" "Exactly." Sherlock beamed at him. "Don't worry about the cost. The Birmingham case last month paid more than enough to cover expenses for all three of us."

Bedtime Stories by Liketheriver (M, 34,388 w., 1 Ch. || Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Angst & Humour, Bed Sharing, John First Person, TRF, John Whump) – John's POV during Season 2 and beyond when Sherlock takes up semi-permanent residence in his bed. A collection of codas and missing scenes wrapped up into one long fic and topped with a bow that takes the story beyond Reichenbach and into happy territory once more. Part 1 of Bedtime Universe

we have never seen a greater day than this by Lediona (T, 36,420 w., 7 Ch. || A Royal Night Out AU || WWII / VE Day, Prince Sherlock, Soldier John, Alternating POV, First Kiss, Bittersweet Ending, Homophobia, Dancing) – Peace. At long last. It’s VE Day and Prince William desires to join the celebrations. It is a night of excitement, danger and the first flutters of romance.

A Week is Just Seven Days Isn't It? by scifigrl47 (T, 39,906 w., 4 Ch. || Humour, Friendship/Bromance, Stroppy/Bored Sherlock, Undercover/Army John, Texting, Pining-ish Sherlock, John Whump) – When John heads overseas for a week, Sherlock's forced to fend for himself. It goes about as well as anyone could have anticipated. Which is to say, very, very poorly. Don't worry, things'll be fine in just seven days.

A Love with No Name Series by aceofhearts61 (G to M, 49,955 w. across 20 Stories || Ace!Sherlock, Kisses, Cuddles & Snuggles, Schmoop, Platonic Romance) – In which Asexual!Sherlock and Straight!John are platonically in love life partners.

A Study Of Living With Sherlock Holmes by  AllesandraQuartermaine (T, 50,234 w., 22 Ch. || Post-ASiP/Pre-TAB, Domestics, Friendship, POV John) – Learn about what happened between John and Sherlock January 31st and March 22. From John's pov on how to survive and learn to live with one eccentric mad genius known as Sherlock Holmes. 

The Hollow Woman by ScopesMonkey (M, 51,335 w., 22 Ch. || Post-TRF, Major Character Death, Mystery, Romance, Friendship, Family, Angst, Crime, Reunion, First Kiss / Time, Nightmares, Doctor John, Jealous Sherlock, Jealous John, BAMF John, Angry John, Dub-Con, Rough Sex, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Villain Mary, Open Ending) – Forced to return to London sooner than expected, Sherlock falls into a case too close to home. Part 1 of the Hollowverse series

John Watson's Twelve Days of Christmas by earlgreytea68 (M, 53,464 w., 14 Ch. || Christmas, Holmes Family, Fake Relationship, Alternate First Meeting, Falling in Love, Fluff and Angst, Hardcore Pining) – It's the holiday season. John Watson needs money. Sherlock Holmes needs something else.

The Green Blade by verityburns (T, 72,929 w., 15 Ch. || Case Fic, Bromance) – As a serial killer hits the headlines, the police are out of their depth and the next victim is out of time. With faith in Sherlock Holmes at an all time low, this is a case which will push loyalties to the limit...

Repairing the Broken Things by BakerTumblings (M, 75,252 w., 15 Ch. || S4 Compliant, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Hospitals, Big Brother Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Realizations, Severe Accident, John Whump, Pneumonia, Medical Procedures, Bed Sharing, First Time, Healing, Happy Ending) – "I'm calling today to notify you that there's been an accident."

A Case of Identity by jkay1980 (T, 91,009 w., 22 Ch. || Post-TRF, Fake Relationship, Case Fic) – John and Sherlock have succeeded in rebuilding their friendship after Sherlock’s fake suicide, but an unusual case puts their relationship to the test. They pretend to be engaged and attend a marriage counseling workshop. Under the pretext of the case, Sherlock turns out to be a master of seduction, and John finally learns he might like Sherlock more than he thought. Slowly, John discovers that he loves Sherlock not only in a friendly, brotherly way, but both men have to fight their own demons before they can think of taking their relationship to a new level…

between each beat are words unsaid by darcylindbergh, hudders-and-hiddles (T, 107,998 w., 215 Ch. || Epistolary, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Angst, Happy Ending) – On their wedding night, John and Sherlock gift each other with the things they each said when the other could not hear, the things they each put down where the other could not see: a collection of writings that illustrate the way their love for one another has grown over the years. Part 1 of between each beat

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Developing Relationship, Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it's a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

Unkissed Series by 221b_hound (T to E, 184,100 w. across 45 works || Established Relationship, Ace Sherlock) – Sherlock returned from the dead a year ago. John returned to Baker Street six months ago. They've been in a couple since then. or at least, not NOT a couple. For two smart men, they sure can be dumb. Luckily, an art thief tries to drown Sherlock, Sherlock has a fever dream and things are about to change.

Fallen Series by Belladonna_Q, mamishka (T, 222,094 w. across 3 works || Winglock || Angel!John, Angels & Demons, Faes, Christianity, Changelings) – In a world where myth, mystery, and the supernatural flourish beneath the veneer of modern civilization, Sherlock is a master of magic as well as science and deduction. But there are some things that he cannot see, riddles he cannot unravel, even when they walk right beside him in the form of one John Watson…

[the-music-maniac]

It is so rare for me to genuinely enjoy the way a cdrama straight romance is being written, so I'm holding onto these two and never letting go - y'all I'm only on episode 9 rn and I'm writing this based on what I've seen of 9 episodes but if Tantai Jin and Ye Xiwu don't get a happy ending I will actually be SO fucking upset.

And I've been sitting here and thinking about why these two hit so different for me, when I've sat through countless other heterosexual cdramas with my mom and have been unable to get invested in any of them (I got invested in danmei shows but never straight romances purely because of the way they were written) and I have a couple reasons. And because this show has eaten my brain I'm gonna talk about it and write a fucking love letter to the one show that has made me FEEL SOMETHING ABOUT THE MAIN COUPLE SINCE FOREVER.

1. This is a legitimate enemies to lovers plotline:

Like I've noticed with cdramas that are not danmei - when they write "enemies to lovers"? It's never legitimately enemies to lovers. Either the reason for being enemies is really shallow and easily solved, or only one side hates the other, or - my least favourite - they start off as genuinely enemies for a legit reason but then the guy falls in love super damn quickly at the first sign of the girl being nice and the rest of the drama is spent with the guy desperately chasing the girl while the girl is ambiguous to him before slowly falling in love. Hah? Ey why did he fall in love so quickly, huh? I thought the reasons he hated her were real and legitimate (I'm looking at you Romance of Tiger and Rose)?

This drama is genuinely attempting an enemies to lovers relationship. Like Ye Xiwu has a super legit reason to despise Tantai Jin and the same vice versa. Ye Xiwu knows Tantai Jin kills all the people she loves in the future - and yet this man is not quite that person yet, hasn't done much wrong at this point. And meanwhile Tantai Jin knows Ye Xiwu as just another one of his abusers, one he's married to - but little does he know that this Ye Xiwu isn't that person anymore. Basically, they have legitimate dislike for each other in the beginning. They don't fall in love at the first sign of the other person being not like they thought they were - as they SHOULDN'T, it wouldn't make sense. Instead they're slowly getting to know each other. And they repeatedly look out for each other in the beginning but it's clear that the motivation is not love. And even as we go, you can see that they're starting to realize that the other person might be someone worth knowing but they still don't TRUST each other. And fuck that slow burn is SO GOOD and is what's missing in so many cdramas. Even when Ye Xiwu makes up that excuse for why she keeps saving Tantai Jin, that she "likes him" - you can see that Tantai Jin is taken aback in a good way but still doesn't trust it. And meanwhile Ye Xiwu is fully aware of her real goal. Like that?? That's my fucking shit. It doesn't make sense for them to trust each other that quickly and the slow development of it is what I live for.

2. Minimal fanservice scenes that make no sense - maximal scenes that progress the relationship.

I'm gonna use the scene in episode 3 as an example - that moment when Ye Xiwu touches the flowers and gets blasted in the face with the powder and Tantai Jin runs forward to steady her. They were standing next to each other, so the show totally could've gotten away with one of them landing on the other, and another fanservice cdrama would have done that and used it as a way for them to wake up in a romantic situation. But no, in this one they someone landed APART despite the fact that one of them had his arms around the other, and the resulting camera shot was sO DAMN COOL. And the moment when Ye Xiwu fell back, it wasn't some dramatic swooning into Tantai Jin's arms. And then they both faceplanted. We love gender equality LMAO. But that's what I'm talking about, this show knows to pick it's moments. It's aware that now is not the time for a scene like that, and the lack of jarring fanservice scenes that don't fit with the vibe and tension of the moment is so refreshing. And the short fanservice romantic moments that do happen?? Goosebumps. Like for example when the flower demon realized Ye Xiwu was trying to rescue Tantai Jin and said "together then" and pulled Ye Xiwu up into the swirling thing - and they were face to face with the soundtrack swelling. Short and sweet, and both of them look suitably surprised - y'all I loved it.

3. The respect this show affords the female characters.

This shouldn't be a rare thing. IT REALLY SHOULDN'T. But the amount of cdramas where the main female lead acts all dumb and cute to endear herself to the "bad boy" male lead, and y'know what I shouldn't say act because half the time the female lead is GENUINELY DUMB - and keeps getting into deep shit so the man has to go rescue her.

Or THE ONE I HATE THE MOST, the main female lead is a competent, intelligent character that's super powerful, and then somehow loses all her braincells and ability the minute she meets the male lead because the plot needs a way for the male lead to repeatedly save her as a romantic trope. The shows that think that they can't write a romance when the female lead is on equal or higher standing then the male lead in terms of skill or intelligence. Leave. Leave immediately.

This show?? Nah. No Ye Xiwu is just as smart as she was at the beginning of the show, and even though her magic is greatly diminished she's still able to strategize and use it effectively. She's a match for Tantai Jin in terms of intelligence and ability and WHY IS THAT SO RARE TO SEE IS IT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR. And just - this is such a small nitpicky detail but the way Ye Xiwu doesn't shy away from nudity or the implication of taking off clothes - WHICH MAKES SENSE CAUSE SHE'S LITERALLY A DEITY like WHY would she be worried about shit like that? The amount of times I've seen female characters who really shouldn't be iffy about nudity shriek and yell when that stuff comes up *screams in frustration*. No but fuck I love Ye Xiwu so much, Tantai Jin went "you wanna search me? Why not get me to take off all my clothes" expecting her to chicken out and this queen looked him dead in the eyeballs and went "do you think that's a hardship" and then sat down on the bed and waited like "bet". AMAZING.

Not only that, the other female characters are afforded a lot of that same respect in the way they're written - the female assistant isn't treated as dumb comedic relief, the kind sister isn't treated as frail even though her initial scenes was about her getting sick from falling in a lake - honestly so far, up to the amount of episodes I've seen there isn't a single female character that's airheaded in that cutesy way I absolutely hate. They're different personalities, different ability levels, different intelligence levels but they're all afforded the same amount of agency as any male character in the show. And fuck, the scene in the flashback with Tantai Jin's mother? First off, I'm weary anytime they touch on tribal stuff in cdramas because sometimes it's some racist bullshit about them being brutes blah blah blah, but while I don't know if this show was accurate in the clothing or demeanor, they depict them in a very positive way - two, there's something so powerful and freeing about seeing her stride down that aisle on her own, head held high, raising her arms up to greet the emperor. They're meeting on equal terms. It was beautifully done. Basically I'm in love with the way they wrote these female characters.

4. The romantic tropes that do occur don't shove gender roles down my throat.

I feel like this is self explanatory, but one thing I've noticed is that cdrama romantic tropes seem to enforce gender roles, to the point where it no longer makes sense in the plot. Like oh this girl is super powerful? Irrelevant she still has to swoon into the man's arms. Man is the breadwinner, is the protective one, the one who gets jealous. Woman is the mediator, is the kind one, the one to be admired for beauty. I am tired. I'm BORED actually? Like I have nothing against people liking those tropes because yeah, they exist for a reason people obviously like them and it's so valid. It's not like I don't get the appeal of swooning into your partners arms. But if it's the ONLY THING you ever see? If the tropes start piling up so that the female character can only ever be soft and feminine and the male character can only ever be strong and masculine, I stop seeing them as individuals, as characters. They're now a caricature of what society thinks men and women should be. They stop having a face. And once they cease being individual characters in my mind, I lose interest.

I like the way this show handles the romantic tropes, because at the beginning it really doesn't make sense for Ye Xiwu to need saving - she's in a safe home and she has more power then Tantai Jin in terms of social standing - and even if she did need saving Tantai Jin for sure wouldn't do it LMAO AS WE SEE WITH THE LAKE THING PFFT 🤣🤣

No but because it doesn't make sense for plot - Tantai Jin is the one being repeatedly rescued even though it's not a role the male lead usually takes in these tropes. And Ye Xiwu does it in a very "swooping in like a cool male lead" type of way. Like when she shoved her brother back after he slashed Tantai Jin's robes? Damn. I'm so gay wtf. Also buying new robes for Tantai Jin *cough* sugar daddy *cough*.

And meanwhile Tantai Jin is allowed to be withdrawn and soft and quiet and still vicious and super competent but in a sassy, bitchy way. My god I love him. He's my babygirl. His little smirk after he roasts someone. I'm so bisexual actually, fuck. Both of them can just step on me But basically neither of them are 100% one or the other - not 100% masculine or feminine gender roles, it's a changing dynamic and it makes them seem like real people.

????. What number is this??? Uh

5. I think. I'm not gonna scroll up. Anyways um.

The SHOTS. The SOUNDTRACK. The CINEMATOGRAPHY.

Beyond the fact that the CGI in this show actually looks passable cause i'm sure they had a bigger budget then some danmei shows i've seen, but HOW did they inject so much bittersweet nostalgia and loss into the flashback wedding scene? That moment when Ye Xiwu runs for Tantai Jin with a sword in hand to kill the birds, her robes flowing out behind her? The demon's garden??? Tantai Jin's bitchy glittery sparkly murder hanfu??? The winter scenery, the winter cloaks, i'm just. THE HIGH PONYTAILS. MAN ARE THEY INCONVENIENT WHEN THEY SWISH AROUND BUT I STILL LOVE THEM.

Also Ye Xiwu's headdress is beautiful and fully INDESTRUCTIBLE 🤣🤣 and I love it.

I, no joke, rewatched that flashback wedding scene no less then seven times, cause I just find it that well done.

Anyways I don't have much to say here everything is just gorgeous.

6. NO FUCKING LOVE TRIANGLES (SO FAR)

Let's hope it stays that way. That is all

This is getting way too long so Imma end it here. Thanks for reading!

[mrsjavierp]

Where You Belong?

Chapter 1 - Do you know who I am?

Javier Peña x latin! f! Reader

Summary: Running away from life as you always knew to start a new position as Head Chief on a DEA Office, far away, on Colombia. There, you'll face violence, as you never thought you could. There, you'll meet Javier Peña, your stubborn agent...

Warnings (to the WHOLE fic): +18! angst, smut, cheating, past relationships, drug dealing, Narcos Universe, violence... Bad Spanish (sorry), English is my second language. Using "y/n" and "y/ln".

(If I forgot any warning, pls tell me!)

Word Count: 1.6k

A/N: I need to thank my new friend @creedslove for the support here. Girl, thanks so much!

As I said before, that's my first fic that I ever post in my whole adult life. I couldn't resist Javier Peña breaking into my dreams. My mind is on fire!

Hope you all liked it!

Suggestions are always welcome!

**

Narrator's POV:

Lighting up his cigarette, Javier Peña looked through his bedroom window. It was just another hot night, just like the ones that passed or the ones coming. His latest bar conquest was laying down on his bed, sleeping peacefully.

A peace that was nowhere near familiar to him.

Javi closed his eyes, inhaling his cigarette. Tasting as it was the most delicious thing in his mouth at that time.

Even with this scalding heat, even the loud noises on the streets at ungodly hours, even the so-called "drug war" - that he was fighting on his country's behalf... When he thought about all the bad things going on, nothing compared to his own personal war that was waiting for him in Texas.

Yes, Colombia felt better than being at Rancho Peña with his wife and son.

That was really fucking painful, since Laredo once were his home.

His wife, Lorraine, that one who he almost left at the altar... If it weren't for his kid on her womb.

His son... Javier felt like he was the only good thing that came out of his marriage. His sweet little baby boy, gentle and loving, totally unlike his awful mother.

Javier inhales his cigarette for the last time, puts it out and lays down again.

The girl he brought home was still asleep quietly next to him, breathing lightly as a feather.

For a moment, as he looked at her, he felt so jealous: he envied her youth, her freedom, her possibilities...

War against Escobar wasn't even that bad when he thought about his war against Lorraine. He knew, once he stepped foot on Laredo again, his life would be really miserable.

Yes, Javier Peña preferred to live just like that: alone in Colombia, drinking too much whiskey, smoking too many cigarettes, fucking around with prostitutes and random women, sleeping 3 hours per night, seeing horrible things the men did to enemies...

Yes, he chose loneliness over his unhappy marriage.

Neither su mama or Chucho made him do it, but the way he was raised and his sense of responsibility tied him to Lorraine. Her family, as herself, loved to live by the so-called good costumes.

He hated their hypocrisy.

Tired, Javier finally lay down and tried to sleep, tried, one more time, stay away from his real life nightmares.

*

Steve snorted when he noticed Javier walking into the DEA office, clearly hangover, wearing a beige suit and his golden aviator sunglasses.

"Could at least clean up better, Peña. We've got a guest."

Frowning his forehead, he took off his glasses and asked: "DEA is bringing people from Miami again?"

"No, NYC. Y/LN is a huge name there, made a bunch of arrests, big ones, actually. Drug Lords... Does it ring a bell to you? The rumor is that Y/LN is going to help us end Escobar... Someone said that, with Y/LN in the house, we've got a better shot."

Javier snorted and said: "Let's see if this cabrón is actually good or not."

"Javi..." - Steve started.

"Spill, Murphy."

"Nevermind, Peña. Come on, all the others are waiting in the conference room already."

Steve knew better than to say, from the beginning, that Y/LN was, in fact, a woman. And she was exactly his type: the one who will not get involved with him nor their teammates, sex and work do not meet. Her fame was really well known in NYC and went to Colombia with Y/LN... And, hot as hell.

They walked to the conference room, with all the other DEA agents waiting for her.

"Who does this pendejo think that he is, making us wait? Where's this motherfucker?" - Javier thought.

A few minutes later, Javier observed that his colleagues were looking for their seats when a beautiful woman walked in. Although he didn't quite understand, he copied their moves.

Wearing a white button down shirt, a black tight skirt knees high, heels and her hair loose, she started her speech:

"Buenos dias, amigos." - her accent was crystal clear latin, just like his. Her red lips showed her pretty smile. - "I'm guessing that you're all asking yourselves why they sent me here. The answer is quite simple, actually: you didn't catch the motherfucker. I came here to make it faster and more effective. Don't expect me to sit behind my desk and read reports, I'm a field agent just like all of you. I don't like nor want secrets to be kept from me. Oh, by the way, I'm Y/N, but I'd rather be Y/LN. I came from NYC invited by the DEA and the Embassy. Got any questions?"

They looked at each other, in silence.

"Let's cut to the chase, then."

"Holyfuck..." - was the only thing going on Javier's mind.

Steve held it up, because he knew exactly what Javi was thinking.

*

"Let's go, Peña. We're all going to drink with our new boss. Stop being such an ass and hurry up. Word on the streets that she loves a good whiskey, just like you." - he teased.

Javier rolled his eyes, he knew he had to go, he had no other choice. He hated this mandatory get togethers... At least, he got a new card on his set: his gorgeous new boss.

Arriving at the bar next to their office, people went to their own groups. Once more, he looked at her, from a safe distance, admiring her.

Javier Peña wasn't a greedy man, he'd love to take his time, go with the flow. He was pretty confident that his boss was aware of his... Kind, per say, and he was counting on it.

He ordered 2 whiskies, neat.

Walking up to Y/LN, Murphy and Connie, with 2 whiskies in hand, he said:

"Bienvenida, jefe. Here, a welcome drink. Hope you enjoy it, I heard it's your favorite."

"Javier Peña..." - his name felt like music in her voice. - "Is that really your name, or do you use another one with your girls?" - She, Connie and Steve laugh their asses off. - "Sorry... I mean, informants." - She took the drink from his hand. - "Gracias, Peña. Salut!" - she had a sip.

Javier couldn't believe it.

"Nice taste, Peña... I mean, the drink, of course." - she looked at Connie and Steve, who shared a hug. - "To friendship as well, Connie, honey, you're so sweet... And Steve, you're not as bad. Can't say the same about where you get your inside info. What brings you here, to us?"

He stared at Steve, really pissed off. He was positive that joke had his signature.

Pretending not to hear half the things his boss said, he responded:

"About Connie, I agree. I still can't believe Murphy got married to such a nice gal." - Javier smiled. - "I just wanted to welcome you and wish you luck, jefe."

"I don't believe in luck, Agent Peña. I believe in facts... But thank you, you seem to mean well. If you all excuse me..." - and Y/N left to the restroom, leaving the empty glass on the way.

Javier was LIVID. That bitch... He never wanted to get Escobar so badly.

"Did I do something to her?" - Javier asked the couple.

Steve and Connie shared a look and a laugh. There was absolutely no reason for Javier's reaction towards Y/N.

"Javier Jesus Peña, have you ever been rejected?" - Connie asked. - "You haven't, have you?"

"That's not the point..."

"Congrats, Javi... She's your first." - Steve completed. - "And to make it even funnier, she's not going anywhere."

Javi didn't say anything more. He just looked around, trying to see if he could avoid going home alone.

*

As rare as it may seem, Javier chose to come home by himself. Connie and Steve had way too many drinks and, as a good friend, he helped his neighbors to arrive safely.

But, it meant that he was alone with his thoughts, and insisted on going back to Y/LN. To think about the way she talks, moves, dresses... So smart, so gorgeous, so sexy... But so far away, at the same time she was so close, just right next door.

"What the fuck is her problem with me?" - Javier whispered to him. He poured more whiskey to drink, as he remembered her red lips and wished... - "I can't think about her like that!"

He finished the drink in one big sip and lit a cigarette, trying, in vain, not to be with his dick hard.

But his brain had other plans... His brain, almost as a betrayal, kept recalling him about Y/N. He tried to go take a cold shower, but, again, in vain.

As he stood under cold water, his dick was still very much hard.

As he cursed himself and his stupid dick who couldn't see a pretty girl, his hand went to satisfy his needs.

His need for you.

He gave in to his darkest secrets and came on his fist, calling you.

*

Y/N's POV - 1st Person

As I walked home, I could only think about how stupid I was.

Why did I did such a thing?

"It was for the best, anyway..." - I said to myself, as I took off my clothes and sank into my tub. - "Hard, but smart. Play safe. Out of sight, out of mind..." - I continued to lie to myself.

As my hands spread the soap through my body, my mind kept bringing him back to me... His beige suit, his stupid cocky smile, his big hands...

"Oh, fuck... Why do I like Peña so much? Oh, yeah, he's handsome, smart, latin and oh, yeah, reminds me of my stupid cheating ex who loved a prostitute..." - I kept talking to myself, bitter.

"If i don't blow off some of this, I'm going nuts. So, let's do it."

And my hands touched myself until I came really hard to my new fantasy: ride Javier Peña as he called me "su jefe".

Next

[cococassey]

Webtoon: After School Lessons for Unripe Apples (ch 1 to 126)

Author/Artist: Soonkki

Spoiler free:

Why do I do this to myself? To try chasing my Lovely Runner blues away, now I'm hooked to korean webtoon ASLFUA 😭! Which is exponentially worse because 1. it's still ongoing, 2. not 100% assured the OTP will end up together (Soonki pls pinky promise me). Well, at least it has free official eng translations (big plus)!

Got curious because I saw the fanart. It's not an art style I usually go for, but the author is Soonkki. Cheese in the trap was a kdrama I was intrigued of from the start (Jung!), but didn't get to finish because of the negative reviews, but I'll check out the webtoon soon which is finished yay!

Lovely Runner made me miss coming of age, youth romance stories, so this one really fits the bill. Cheol is a very tall big built male lead, while Mi-ae is a small pea, which reminded me a lot of the Sun Jae-Sol dynamic. But that's where most of the similarities end. This is about Mi-ae's school life adventures, trying her hardest to be friends with the new scary deskmate (who of course is a softie inside), trying his darnest to be inconspicuous at school, and failing miserably at ignoring her lol.

A very very slow burn, slice of life kind of feel at the start, a lot of studying involved, but once it gets going, I finished 3 years worth of content in a daze in 2 days! I'm kind of weak for the energizer bunny girl chasing after the grumpy broody guy trope, so this is right up my alley.

Mi-ae is just a ball of positivity. She can be sad of stuff, but not for long. Cheol who only wants to be on the down low, and wants nothing to do with such a quirky chaotic girl, but of course he can't help himself. He's just so protective of those he perceived to be picked upon. Seeing closed up Cheol gradually opening up because of Mi-ae's exuberance is a joy to watch.

Following Cheol and Mi-ae growing up together, traversing school, friendship, and sorting out their inexplicable confusing feelings (squeeee). The whole series is such a happy pill! Can't wait to see more after school group hijinks, and the growth of all the characters and their relationships.

Note: there is some triggering content like school corporal punishment, bullying, but nothing too detailed on page.

Spoilers:

My fave story arcs so far:

- Relentless Mi-ae asking frenemy Honggyu for soccer lessons because of Cheol, and clueless protective Cheol getting frustrated where Mi-ae keeps running off with scrapes all over. This is the arc where Cheol finally got worn down and accepted her millionth time offer of friendship lol.

- Jinseop's hilarious haircut scene! Enough said.

- Jinseop, who you'll first think as the love triangle or bully, suddenly becomes Cheol's and Mi-ae's love cupid to propel these two clueless lovebirds along.

- Cheol going absolutely bonkers about that accidental kiss. Priceless.

- Honggyu and Mi-ae's whole chaotic birthday arc where the gang helped Honggyu escape bullies. Starts with Cheol's jealousy antics, showing up suddenly on Jinseop and Mi-ae's impromptu date, and ended the adventurous day with crumbs of Cheol-Mae sweetness.

Can't wait for more...the mystery of Jisu (the real love triangle?), and Cheol's past/scar! Oh no it doesn't really bode well for me to get invested as CITT completed in 7 yrs. No thanks Soonkki, for the torture of ending the eng webtoon so far in a kiss-hanger. It's like a treat and torture at the same time.

[wonik1ss]

when the fake turns real — ja.y

pairing : jay x reader

song rec : juliette! (feat. umi) - ph-1 + who says - selena gomez

a/n : fuck Naeun 🤬 also can you tell I like watermelon sour patch kids? Also I am convinced this is the longest fanfic I have ever written…

“ Do you think you will be ok here? “. Your bff Karina said her eyes fulled with worry as you barely stood up to answer her.

“ Yes just give me some water and I’ll be in tip top shape!! “. You said as you downed the water bottle Karina had got for you. She slightly smiled and ran to the bathroom.

As you got another water bottle from the fridge, you felt someone staring at you and as you turned around you saw some tall guy run over to you. He whispered something like “go run with this” and you nodded as he put his hand around your waist.

“ Jay running away from us isn’t going to change the fact that we know you were stalking Naeun’s instagram last night! “. Heeseung yelled at the boy whose hand was hovering high ver your waist.

“ I told you I wasn’t I was with.. “

“ Y/n “. You whispered to the boy.

“ Y/n! I’m over Naeun I told you this several times guys! “. The 3 other boys who were with Heeseung looked at the boy questionly but decided to drop it.

“ Ok then.. “. One with silver hair said as you guided the rest of his friends to the living room of the party you were at.

“ Sorry about I promise I’ll do anything you want if you just stay with me all night! “. The college boy said worry in his eyes. You were now fully sober after that whole interaction and decided it would be ok since you didn’t want to be hit on all night, and Karina would probably be watching you like a halk all night too.

“ Sure.. You owe me watermelons sour patch kids! “. The boy laughed as he dragged you to the dance floor. You laughed and tilted your head back as the boy tried to figure out where his hand were supposed to go.

“ You never dance with a girl before? “

“ I have just not at a party.. “

“ Why? “. You asked head tilted as Jay brought you closer to him.

“ Didn’t really want to till my girlfriend dumped me “. You nodded as Jay twirled you around.

The night was perfect you joked about the awkward couples just standing around and the finals that would come up in a few months too, and as the party came to an end Jay brought you to the kitchen and started to look around.

“ What ya looking for? “

“ Nothing.. just wait.. here it is! “. Jay said as his head bumped on the shelf right above him as walked him to the couch.

“ You ok? “

“ Ya here are your kids! “. Your eyes went wide at the boys sentence until you looked down to see the sour patch kids in the boys hands. You giggled as he smiled at you.

To bad this night was ending..

-

“ Fuck my life! “. You said as you head fell down to the long table you had in your econ class.

“ Maybe it will go away in a few days! “. Chaeryoung said as you picked our head up and turned to the red headed girl.

“ Ya and maybe I’ll become Justin Beibers girlfriend next week! “. Chaeryoung’s eyes rolled as Ryujin keep laughing.

“ You’ve been played into a fake relationship! HA! “. Your eyes went wide when you realized too.

You had been tricked!

-

“ PARK JONGSEONG IF YOU DONT GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW I WILL DRAH YOU OUT BY YOUR EAR! “. You yelled into the gym as Jay’s head snapped towards you in shock.

“ Looks like your boyfriends mad! “. The silver boy said as Jay three the ball at him.

“ Shut up Sunghoon! “. Jay said as he followed you as you stomped out to the back of the school.

“ Why the fuck am I seeing we are dating all over social media? Did you fucking trick me into dating you? Did you not think about what I would think about this? “

“ First Someone saw as at the party and assumed we were dating! Secondly I didn’t I really just meant to hangout with you last night! And lastly no.. “. Your rolled your eyes at the boy as he looked up at you.

“ Look I’m sorry I didn’t know us hanging out last night would lead to us “dating” according to eveyone at school! “. You sighed.

“ It’s ok.. I guess.. as long as you had nothing to do with this we can just tell everyone we are not dating “. You said as you smiled at the boy and he started to look everywhere but your face.

“ What’s wrong? “

“ You see.. we might have to fake date for a little while longer because my ex thinks it’s real and if she thinks it’s real she’ll get jealous and come back to me.. “. Your eyes went wide as you threatened to hit the boy and he closed his eyes in fear.

“ You got the be fucking with me.. “

“ I will get you 100 watermelons sour patch kids packs if you say yes? “. Your rolled your eyes as you got closer to the boy.

“ You will owe me a lot more then 100 watermelon sour patch kids packs if I say yes.. “. Jay’s eyes lit up as your rolled yours.

“ So that’s a? “

“ Yea stupid “. Jay smiled and enveloped you in a bear hug as you sighed.

Now you have to worry about school and your teddy bear fake boyfriend.. oh god

-

Come on I think you look cute with them on! “. It had been 2 weeks since you and Jay started to “ date “ and you two were getting closer and closer by the minute.

“ I look the momma bear from goody locks stop lying! “. Jay giggled as you put the bear head ban he found back on your ears as you pouted then your eyes lit up.

“ If I have to wear this ugly thing you have to wear this! “. You said as you pulled a pair of glasses with a red nose and mustache from the rack of weird head pieces behind Jay.

“ Fuck no “. You didn’t want to admit it but you were actual starting to fall for the teddy bear boy. He bought you flowed every fake date were you both new kids from your school hung out from and he even started to have home dates with you.

For example he literally said he need you to come over to watch the little mermaid with him because his “ friend were over “ but when you got there they were no where to be seen.

Then last week he showed up to your door deco supplies talking about how if your sister saw you both decoing in your kitchen she would tell your friends.

Then last yesterday he lied about how his friends always ran into his house so he could make heart shaped pizza’s with you. You swore he liked you but.. there was also the small chance he still liked his ex Naeun.

“ Pleeeeeease “. You pleaded as the boy rolled his eyes and put the glasses on and stepped into the camera booth.

You both made silly faces and ran out to see the photo strips as you giggled at them.

“ Y/n “

“ Hmm “

“ Do you want to go to Jake’s big almost summer bash with me on Saturday? “

“ You looked up and smiled ofcourse fake boyfriend “. If only you could cross out my fake from that sentence..

-

Jay’s eyes scanned your figure all over as you laughed.

“ Take a picture they last longer “. Jay smiled and guided you to his car. He would never say it out loud around you but her swore he was starting to fall inlove with you. Your voice was like one of an angel to him. Anytime he saw your smile he just had to smile back and anytime he saw your lips he urned to kiss the back.

You pulled him out of his daydream as you ranted about how long it took you to find the perfect dress and how lucky he was you even came out of your house. Then as you pulled up to Jake’s house Jay ran to your side of his car and helped you out as you went into Jake’s house.

“ I’ll meet you in 10 I gotta say hi to some old friends “. Jay said as he squeezed your hand and you squeezed his pack as you both went your separate way. You smiled as you ran over to Chaeryoung and Ryujin.

“ Better chill out there you both are actually starting to look like a real couple.. “. Ryujin said as she nudged you and Chaeryoung laughed.

“ Ryu’s right just ask him for it to be real! “. Chaeryoung said as you sighed.

“ I.. I just can’t- “

“ That’s right you can’t your relationship can never be real because he will never be over me.. “. Your eyes looked up to see a girl in a very short black dress infront of you evilly smiling back at you.

Naeun. In the first few days you and Jay dated he acted like she was an Angel but to see her in the flesh made you think she came straight from hell. Ya she was pretty but her face didn’t fit her attitude.

“ Excuse me? “

“ You heard me bitch he can never be yours because I know damn well he’s still drooling over me.. “. Naeun said as she looked you up and down.

“ Plus the fuck would he like some ugly as dollar store version of me? I know damn well your just a temporary replacement for me who is never be coming back but still.. you should still be worried.. “. Your eyes went wide as Chaeryoung looked between you two and Ryujin was getting ready to fight.

“ The fuck you looking me up and down for bitch “. Naeun said as she got closer and closer to you. By now a circle had formed around you two.

“ Just trying to looked for a reason Jay ever liked you “. Naeun rolled her eyes as she looked you dead in yours.

“ I cheated on the dumb fuck and he still wants me back beat that.. “. Your eyes went wide as you heard laughing and hollering around.

“ You know what good thing you two broke up because your honestly a heartless bitch! You don’t deserve Jay! In fact no one deserves you! Jay is sweet, and nice and more of good person then you will ever be… “. Naeun’s face went red as she felt her cheeks go red.

You stared dead at her as you saw some tall figure get infront of you.

“ So I leave my girl for five seconds and I come to hear you cheated on me and are dissing the women I’m dating you know what fuck you Naeun “. Naeun’s mouth dropped as Jay dragged you out of Jakes house.

“ I’m so sorry she said that shit.. I never new she would do this “. You smiled Jay his hands went to your waist.

“ It’s fine it was worth seeing her world shatter when you came over “. Jay smiled and then looked you in your eyes as you began to talk.

“ By the way.. why did you say you were dating me and I was your girl? “. Your eyes were full of worry for the answer you were about to get. Did he really mean it or was it up to that point tonight that he actually liked Naeun?

“ I meant it.. I’m sorry I didn’t ask you first but I want you to be my girl.. I know this started out as us fake dating but.. I want this fake to be real.. “.

“ First that’s not grammatically correct! Second why the fuck didn’t you tell me sooner? And lastly yes Jay I would love to be your girlfriend if that’s what your asking… “. Jay smiled and leaned into kiss you.

“ I’m definitely asking you to be my girlfriend “. You kissed him for a good minute before you heard hollering from 6 boys behind you.

“ WOOOOHOOO JAY’S FINALLY GETTING BITCHES !! “

“ NIKI SHUT THE HELL UP “

Thank god the fake became real.. or you would never get to meet this jiant teddy bear..

[gothidecorem]

Can I just rant for a second?

This may be a stupid thing or I’m being dramatic or whatever but I gotta get it out there.

You ever just sit back and think “why the fuck am I so unlovable”?

My dad left when I was 6 because he cheated on my mom with my best friend at the time’s mom. He told me at the start that it wasn’t because of anything I did and that he still loved me. Yet when it came time for my birthday, because her and I shared the same day, he wasn’t around for my birthdays. When I asked to spend more time with him, that ended up as a big fight between him & my mom because my mom “brainwashed” me. And then he ended up moving away with a different woman 3 hours away. And when I got tired of fighting for a relationship with him I was yet again “brainwashed”. He and I are alright-ish now but not as close as we could be. There’s more that I could get into but I won’t.

The first real relationship I had after moving out on my own was great…or at least I thought it was. We had our ups and downs like any normal couple, we had a kid together, things were good. Until he decided one morning to skip work, lie to me and tell me he got kidnapped, and after I tracked his ass down & authorities pulled him over, he was the only one in the car. He was trying to run away to be with another woman after swearing to me up and down (from jail) that that wasn’t the case. He, a couple days later, used me to get off and then told me after that he was dating the woman he was running off to.

Trying to move on from that & get out there and date, yano what continues to happen?

Ghosted, ghosted, and ghosted once again.

That or it feels like I’m not enough for whoever I’m talking to.

All I wanna do is find that “happy ending” yano? But nobody wants to choose me. I pour my heart out to get stomped on time and time again.

Just…what the fuck am I doing wrong? What is wrong with me specifically. It honestly feels like I’m not worth happiness, love, any of it.

And before the comments of “you have a child that loves you”, yes, I do, and I would move mountains for that little girl. But it’s not the same.

[malevolantkitcheen]

hai!! I saw you're JJK match works and they are really good so if they're still open I thought i could make a request? she/they (female) | Leo | ENFP bisexual so men or women is fine I don't really have preference Looks wise, I'm pretty tall around 165 cm, tan, dark brown eyes and short dark brown hair (I think the best way to explain my hair cut is like a wolf cut but not that many layers?), I'd say I'm thin and kinda flat, my hands are kinda veiny and my nails are uneven since I tend to cut them when I'm nervous Personality wise, I'm very extroverted so much so that I get energy from being around people I like, especially people I consider close friends (I'm an only child so sometimes I wish I had a sibling). I'm also very friendly I love making friends and I'd say I'm very loyal too I just like talking to people in general. I can also get a bit overwhelming for some people which I totally understand I'm the type of girl who flirts with her girl friends and teases them constantly but I also get really flustered when someone teases me. I don't like some people though and If I don't like someone I can get really rude and moody but I'm also really moody if I'm just not in the mood sometimes I tend to lash out at people but I feel really bad after. I also end up crushing on the worst people I've never been in an actual real relationship so I just crush on people for some drama in my life. Hobby wise, I'm a music girl I play guitar, piano, kalimba, ukulele, and I sing (I'm also currently learning how to play bass) I'm actually a lead singer in a band. I'm also interested in art, video editing, coding and gaming. Subject wise I like math physics chemistry and computer but they can get kind of stressful at times. I also love dressing up and buying random merch and cute things I've always wanted to cosplay and my clothing style changes every day I'm also a really big jewellery person and i love collecting fun earrings and stationary. Thank you I'm sorry if it's a bit too much hope you have a good day!! <3

For Jujutsu-Kaisen, i match you with

Yuji Itadori

(male match, send in a nother request if you would like a female match too! I am more than happy to do both! <3)

- At first, Yuji came across as relatively awkward, especially around you. He would mainly stick to following Megumi and Nobara around, but the two of you would share occasionally glances from time to time. He was hesitant to come and talk to you but you made it clear very quickly that you were far from intimidating. It took little to no time for you two to find things in common because as soon as you would find a topic of conversation, Yuji would let his words run away with him. At times he wasn’t a great listener due to the fact he was a little bit of a motor mouth when he got comfortable with his friends, but he would always realise eventually and be extremely apologetic, which you found adorable. Despite his very vocal opinions, he loved listening to you talking about almost anything and everything; he found you fascinating.

- At times you would worry that you were getting on his nerves because you were getting carried away with the conversation, but Yuji would always reassure you that it was more than okay and that you were simply just really interested in whatever you were talking about. You loved this about him because most people would get frustrated and just stop listening all together. He just truly understood you. Of course there were still some occasions where you would be a little off, especially if you hadn’t had the greatest of days. At first, Yuji didn’t really know what to do because he hadn’t been in these kinds of situations, more so because he didn’t want to upset you any further. However, it didn’t take him very long to figure out what the best ways to help you were, even it just meant sitting in comfortable silence with you, so you knew that he was there if you needed anything.

- Sometimes, Yuji would feel as though you weren’t interested in him as you would bring up other people on occasions, of course you weren’t doing this maliciously, but it still made him a little bit doubtful at times. Despite this, he was determined to stay by your side no matter what because you truly meant everything to him. He hadn’t really made any advancements towards you romantically but he didn’t really hide his feelings very well because much like you, he got flustered extremely easily and even just being around you would often make him smile and blush.