#his eyes hurt too💀 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ki-yomii · 8 months ago

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➥ pairing | jeon jungkook x f!reader ➥ word count | 4.4k ➥ warning(s) | 🔞 smut; fwb, angst w/ a happy ending, teasing, finger fucking, squirting, praise kink, frottage, dirty talk, pet names, commitment issues, jealous!jk, possessive!jk, dom!jk, idiots in love, misunderstandings ➥ summary | after being stood up one too many times, you realize you're in love with jungkook. and that just won't do. ➥ notes | istg i've re-written this more times than i care to count 💀 enjoy!

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cnt make it 2nite

The text is blunt - biting. No explanation offered, and certainly no false platitudes found in the lifeless string of black letters. Rather simple and straight to the point.

As you should have expected from Jungkook. He wasn’t known for his verbosity, and even less so for his love of texting.

But as you chew the fat of your cheek, reading it over and over again in an attempt to glean some hidden meaning that isn’t there, you admit to yourself - at least privately - there’s no more avoiding the truth.

One that’s been hovering over your shoulder for weeks like a shroud; an unwelcome guest you can’t ignore anymore: Jungkook’s been avoiding you.

It shouldn’t be surprising.

Moreover, it shouldn’t hurt.

There shouldn’t be an ache in your chest every time you see his contact or the plummet of your stomach when that inevitable excuse comes through.

In the end, he owes you nothing. The arrangement between you is casual, just a little fun between good friends.

It still fucking sucks though, you think, sucking your teeth.

Night thoroughly ruined before it’s begun, it’s only a matter of deciding how to respond now. In the past you’ve used a plethora of options, but you’re stumped. Unsure how to correlate the level of hurt to the nature of your not-relationship.

Should you be petty, passive-aggressive, indifferent - or worst of all: honest?

Hah, no way. I’d rather die.

Beside you, the bartender politely averts his gaze and busies himself with polishing a stack of pint glasses. It’s a slow night, and that’s saying something as this bar’s a little hole in the wall.

It’s never overly busy, which is one of the reason’s it’s a favorite meeting spot of yours. The floors might be sticky, but the music’s decent, the strobe lights they kick on after 10 PM aren’t offensive enough to induce a migraine, and the drinks are cheap with a heavy pour.

Watching him work is impressive - and almost distracting enough for you to ignore the needle sharp ache taking root beneath your ribs, the churn of your stomach.

Humiliation burns hot, creeps up your neck to settle into the apples of your cheeks as you’re stood up.

Again.

It isn’t the first time - it won’t be the last.

But it cuts deeper than all the rest combined, harder to shake off. You can’t lie to yourself anymore. The growing distance between you throbs like an open wound, as if Jungkook himself plunged a hand into your chest.

Scooped out any tender, soft thing he could find and left you hollowed out. Drained.

Not taking his flakiness personally used to be so easy. And now… well.

Goddamnit. A palm scrubs over your decolletage roughly to soothe the throb of your heart. What the hell did you expect to happen, getting involved with Jeon Jungkook, huh?

Everything from his stupidly pretty eyes to the dangerous curl of his mouth, the thick soles of his boots to the lapels of his leather jacket scream walking red flag.

Never mind the fact his proclivities are an open secret among the group. He’s never tried to hide his distaste for commitment. Finds it too monotonous. Predictable.

An eternally free soul much preferring to flit from one experience to the next, never shackled down for long. The Icarus of myth made flesh.

He runs through women like he runs through shoes, and you witnessed enough of the ensuing heartbreak and tears to be wary.

But knowing and feeling something are two very different things.

The dichotomy throws you off-kilter and finds you abandoned in a bar, once again, to choke on a regret so bitter you swear it’ll burn a hole through your throat.

What’s going on with me, you think, this is nothing new. He does this all the time.

You used to get on so well.

Any initial misgivings faded away in the face of Jungkook’s blinding attention, his unfaltering kindness lurking just beneath that surface of grit and gravel.

Even after you fuck, he never acts any differently, as casual between the sheets as he is lounging on your couch.

It's been great, it's been enough - until now.

Just the thought of going back to your empty apartment, alone, only to wake up and fall back into Jungkook’s orbit tomorrow when he swings by with a half-assed apology on his lips, and your favorite drink in hand is enough to make your skin crawl.

Stomach twisting itself into knots, everything in you rebels against the sudden cold realization: nothing will change - least of all Jungkook.

He’ll continue to take-take-take.

You'll continue to give-give-give.

On and on you'll go; a distant star orbiting a black hole, losing little bits of itself until there's nothing left.

Then he’ll leave your life as quickly as he entered it, a blurry after-image there and gone in the blink of an eye.

Fuck, I - I can’t do this anymore, you think, a shiver rattling down your spine, Because I…

An errant thought gains teeth, sinks them deep. Refuses to budge as an awful truth - one buried so deep you forgot it was there, ever lurking in the shadows - rises to the forefront of your mind.

And then --

Oh.

It’s because I love him - because I’m in love with him.

Suddenly it hurts to breathe, your lungs burning as you drown on the air itself. The steel band cinching around your ribs threatens to crack you open.

Your heart lurches in your chest, despair following swiftly to settle over your shoulders. Moreover, there is no one to blame except yourself.

Even if you want it to, it will never work out because loving Jungkook is to love the ghost of a long-forgotten memory.

And there are too many hurts to soothe, too many disappointments to name.

I can’t believe I actually -- shit. You swipe a shaky hand over your forehead. When you swallow, a sour taste clings to the back of your tongue. Should’ve known better.

You glance at your phone, the cursor blinking back at you mockingly. Should’ve done a lot of things, I guess.

Now, you're in too deep.

Waiting without ever realizing you began to do so in the first place; a life on pause, surviving off scraps of half-measures and maybe's, what-ifs, and if only's.

Now, it's clear the only way out is through.

The time to let go is here.

You need to muster up some semblance of self, and work to untangle the threads of connection binding you together. You need space to rediscover the pieces of your heart you left with him.

How to live without the taste of his kiss, the clench of his muscles, the thrust of his cock.

A new life sans Jungkook which begins with a simple reply in place of everything you really want to say: ok.

Then you wave the bartender over.

He does you a kindness once more, pretending not to notice the tears brimming along your lower lash line. “You ready to order?” he asks.

“Uh, yeah - sorry, I was…”

His mouth twitches. You waver.

Then the screen of your phone lights up with a notification.

Refusing to look lest you cave, emotions too fresh - scraped raw and tender, you switch on DND and turn it face down where it will remain until you go home.

You're far too fragile (and sober) to think about reading Jungkook’s reply, let alone engage with him in any meaningful way.

“I’ll take a double vodka cranberry.”

Maybe if you get drunk enough, you'll forget about the home he carved in your bones.

Bottoms up, bitch.

w8 nvm guys cnt make it

y/n?

i cn b ovr in 10

???

gn ttyt

hey, sorry. called it early.

wyd?

nothing much. you?

nm running some mtchs

cool, cool. you able to swing by today?

yeh b there in 30 :)

In hindsight, trying to have this conversation with Jungkook face to face isn’t the brightest idea. But if anything, last night showed you every choice you’ve made lately is a disaster waiting to happen.

Your life’s already a mess - and you’re hopelessly in love with a man that’ll never love you back - so what’s another mistake added to a long string of misfortune.

So what if your hands tremble and your stomach churns as you unlock the door to let him in.

So what if he leans in for a kiss and you duck to the side, his lips brushing the slope of your cheek.

So what if he pauses and gives you a long, searching look before toeing off his shoes and offering you the drink he picked up on the way.

It can’t get any worse, right?

Only the hungry, molten mixture of rage and rebellion fueling you thus far fizzles away the minute you see him head towards your bedroom with a wink.

Anguish and despair follows in its wake, nipping at your heels.

This is all you’ll ever be to him, you remind yourself as you step into the room. A fun time. Nothing serious. You have to break it off.

You shoot him a tight smile. “Did you have a good night?”

Jungkook shrugs, glancing around at the decorations littering your dresser. “Nah, not really.” His gaze slides to you, traveling from your head to your bare toes in a slow once over. “I definitely would’ve had a better time with you.”

Swallowing roughly, you rub your hands over your arms and suddenly feel far too naked - exposed in your light summer dress. “Hah,” you intone without humor, awkward and stilted. “Probably not. I was out by 11:30.”

“Mm, that’s not like you.” Jungkook hums, moving forward until he’s right in front of you. His hands reach for you, grabbing your wrists gently. His thumb strokes over your pulse point. “You’re acting weird. Is there something you want to talk about, baby?”

Of course he’d notice.

It would be annoying if it wasn’t so endearing. Jungkook always pays attention to the details, makes leaps of logic based on little more than quiet observations.

You stitch together a chuckle. “Nothing gets past you, huh?”

His eyes crinkle at the corners as he grins, his lip ring dimpling the swell of his bottom lip. Your chests brush with every inhale, sharing space and breath.

“Nothing,” he agrees.

It’s torture. It’s too intimate.

The glow of your overhead lamp highlights the sweep of his cheekbones, the curl of his lashes as he blinks slow and happy. The barely there impression of his body is too much.

You shrink back, clearing your throat.

“No, don’t do that. Where are you going?”

His eyes, shimmering with warmth, plead with you to stay, his shoulders curving towards you. A large palm settles over your shoulder, sparks igniting wherever he touches.

“Stop hiding. You can talk to me about anything. Come on, I want to know what’s going on in that pretty head of yours.”

Steeling your resolve, you inhale and exhale with a shudder. His expression is open, soft. You know it won’t last, and take a few seconds to commit how he looks in this moment to memory.

For all you know, this will be one of the last times you’ll be this close to him again. At least until you can beat your feelings into submission.

And then you can’t put it off anymore, unable to take the ginger strokes of his fingers. The calming caresses as if he thinks you’re something precious. Quick like ripping off a band-aid, otherwise the words will never get past the bend of your throat.

“I want to stop.”

You catch the way his eyes darken, sharpen in the dim overhead light. He knows exactly what you’re talking about, but his half-smile never falters.

Of course, he refuses to make this easy on you. To acknowledge this is happening. He’s always been a greedy man; wants what he can’t have, and destroys what he does.

“Stop what?” Jungkook says. “You’re gonna have to be more specific than that, baby.”

“Kook,” you sigh, rubbing the bridge of your nose. “You know what I mean. I just - I can’t do,” your voice cracks, a hand motioning to the space between you, “this anymore.”

A vein throbs on the side of his neck, his jaw working in response. Muscles tense and release with every grit of his teeth. He asks, “You gonna tell me why, huh? Or are you just going to ditch me and act like it didn’t mean something?”

“Kook…”

There’s a certain grief that can’t be spoken, gnarled roots burrowing deep in your chest. A sense of loss so keenly felt it almost steals your breath.

You wish this wasn’t happening, you wish you could take it all back but this pantomime of a relationship isn’t fair to you. Not anymore. And you knew this conversation wouldn’t be fun, but Jungkook’s staunch denial still manages to surprise you.

“It didn’t mean anything though,” you say.

At least, not to you, you think. To me, it meant the world.

-- And that’s the problem.

You need to stop whatever this is between you from building. He’s already shown he doesn’t share your desire for more in a multitude of ways. He’s been avoiding you for a reason, whether he was consciously aware of your feelings or not.

Undoubtedly, you trust him with your life but not your heart.

As sweet as he is, has been, he won’t treat it gently. Not through any intentional ill-will but because he can’t contain his own commitment issues let alone make room for yours.

It’s better this way.

Let what you have - had - stay a memory unmarred by the ugliness of your hurt feelings and bitter disappointments.

Jungkook’s shoulders draw up towards his ears, his gaze glacial as his hands slide away from you. “Is there a reason you’re done with me now?”

Shadows lurk in the depths of his eyes, his lips curled into a cruel smirk. Everything about him looks weighted down.

“Well, is there? I mean, shit, I think I’ve earned an answer after all the time we spent together.”

Your heart breaks for him, everything in you calling out to close the gap and offer him comfort. But you can’t. You don’t trust yourself to touch him without wanting more than your heart can bear.

“I’m not done with you,” you say. “I would never do that to you, Kook. I just - I can’t be with you like that anymore, that’s all. I need space but I’ll still be around, I promise.”

The glare he shoots your way freezes the blood in your veins. “Cut the bullshit,” he snarls. “Tell.me.why.”

You avert your gaze, arms wrapping around your chest. “Why does that - I -”

You only had one rule at the very beginning of this mess: if there’s someone you’re serious about, you stop fucking. It comes as a handy lie - a believable excuse that’ll stop any further questioning.

You don’t think you have the fortitude if Jungkook keeps pressing you, cracking under the weight of your grief and the anger in his eyes like fine china.

“I think I - I think I want to start looking for a boyfriend again.”

An expression flashes across his face, there and gone in the blink of an eye. But there’s no doubt he recognizes it for the goodbye it’s supposed to be.

This is it, you think.

You can put what you had to rest and move on, a memory on a shelf you’ll dust off years down the line when the hurt isn’t so prevalent. And hopefully, with time, you can relearn how to be friends.

Though the strange gleam to his eyes sends a prickle of apprehension down your spine, and then you find yourself being manhandled as he snaps forward like a snake coiled to strike.

Air flees your lungs as Jungkook shoves you with a firm palm, your feet stumbling over themselves as you trip backwards into your bed frame.

Wood knocks into the backs of your knees, and you fold like a stack of cards. The sheets puff out around you, the scent of your laundry detergent tickling your nose.

You blink at the textured ceiling, mouth agape as you try to process what happened.

The empty space above you doesn’t stay vacant, Jungkook quickly crowding you into the mattress with his weight as he settles over top of your body.

He molds himself to your front, his firm hips slotting themselves between your thighs. Broad palms, warm and calloused, skim your sides and ruck up the skirt of your dress as he reaches under you to grip the soft globes of your ass.

He yanks you into him, your pelvises slotting together. You whine before you can stop yourself, eyes fluttering shut at the heat of his body.

Teeth scrape along the delicate skin of your neck, the sharp pricks of pleasure-pain coaxing a shiver down your spine.

Lips brush the shell of your ear, his minty breath puffing against the side of your face as he speaks, low and husky, “So that’s it, huh?”

“What--!”

Teeth nip your earlobe, and you wince.

“My girl thinks she’s going to leave me for someone else?” Jungkook snorts. “Like I’d ever let that fucking happen.”

“I’m not your girl.”

You squirm, a bolt of awareness slicing through you as your body responds to his proximity, the weight of him over you electrifying. Liquid desire blooms behind your navel, uncomfortable and unwelcome.

“I never was.”

Blunt nails dig into the fat of your ass, and a cruel mouth latches onto the corner of your jaw. “Ah, is that right?” Jungkook asks, the rumble of his voice vibrating through your torso, your nipples tightening as they drag over the plains of his chest. “You’re not my girl?”

You swallow, and ignore the throb of your clit as the line of his cock ruts into you. “I’m not your girl, Jungkook.”

“If you’re not my girl,” he grinds into the cradle of your hips, teasing - taunting, “then why the fuck are you so wet?”

Keening, you twitch, involuntarily rocking up into the firm pressure of his shaft. The angle’s just right, spreading your folds beneath the thin cotton of your panties and giving your neglected clit the perfect stimulation.

Exposing your soaked core to the chill of your room as your body warms with mortification.

Jungkook hums in approval, giving the side of your neck a sloppy kiss followed by a stinging nip. “You think some nobody can fuck you better than me?”

“That’s not what I - ffuck!”

Heat pools low in your belly, blood pumping fast. You’re steadily losing control, the aborted rolls of your hips increasing in frequency.

“Answer me.”

A sharp burst of copper floods your mouth, your skin splitting open with how hard you’re chewing on it. Blood clings to the swell of your bottom lip, a ruby red bead you lick away with a nervous tongue.

Sweat dappled your brow, and it’s getting harder and harder to ignore the molten desire curdling your stomach.

The softness of your body knows the hardness of his, every curve has a matching divot. The heady, pleasant scent of his cologne floods your lungs with every stuttered inhale.

Your senses are overwhelmed as he surrounds you.

“Shit, Kook, please,” you plead, hands tangling in the sheets by your head.

You’re not sure what you’re asking for but at the same time, you’re not sure how you ended up here. Again.

“I don’t know what you want from me.”

This was supposed to be an amenable end to a dubious affair. It’s anything but.

“I want you to tell me who your cunt belongs to.”

Fingers inch down to tease along the soft flesh of your inner thighs, and play with the elastic of your panties.

You tremble, gooseflesh dimpling the exposed skin of your arms as knuckles brush over the length of your soaked pussy.

Your clit pulses, the pressure enough to tease.

“Come on, baby,” Jungkook coaxes, working his way beneath the fabric clinging to your core, “tell me you’re my girl.”

His cock nestles into the crook of your hip, hot and heavy through his jeans as a darkened patch blooms across the denim crotch. The sticky wetness of his pre-cum smearing into your skin as arousal swells, crashing over you.

Leaving you a whimpering, trembling mess in the cage of his arms.

“You just have to say it - say you’re my girl and I’ll be so, so good to you.” His breath warms the shell of your ear. “All you have to do is say it, and I’ll make you cum so hard you see stars.”

Jungkook doesn’t give you a chance to cobble together a response, sliding a thick finger through your sticky folds and into your needy pussy just as your lips part.

All words leave you, your mind wiped clean as a low, broken cry echoes out into the room. Swallowed up by the sounds of city life outside your apartment as he works to stretch you open.

You clamp down at the sudden fullness, walls tight and fluttering around his finger like they would be around his cock.

“Fuck, baby,” he groans. “You always feel so soft and wet.”

Whining in agreement, you give up any pretense of resistance, letting primal desire chase away the despair, the guilt that threatens to choke you. Wiping your mind clean of any thoughts until the only thing that remains is the thrust of his fingers and the ache in your cunt.

Your hands slip, scrambling for purchase with sweaty palms. “J-Jungkook!”

Your knees tremble where they dig into his sides, air rushing from you in heavy pants as the space between your bodies heats up. You know you won’t last long, already hanging on the edge.

Never in a million years did you expect to be so turned on by Jungkook’s rough behavior. He usually treats you like something delicate.

Though he holds no such compunction now, raw in his desperate desire to make you cum.

Jungkook peppers kisses onto whatever skin he can reach, spreading your thighs wider with his torso. His knuckles strain against the fabric of your panties, stretching out the cotton and ruining them forevermore as he slips another finger into you.

Then his dark head bows, catching your gaze, and he says, “Hold on.”

Barely seconds after you anchor yourself to his shoulders, he starts finger fucking you to within an inch of your life. His forearm ripples with strength, the movements of his fingers pressing and rubbing against all the right spots. Curling up to massage at your g-spot until you’re shaking beneath him with hitched breaths.

“Shit, shit,” you gasp, eyes rolling back as your toes flex against his side, “Kook, baby, please don’t stop.”

He huffs a laugh, dark and amused. “Wouldn’t ever do that to you, baby.”

“S’good - I - I’m close.”

You sob, tears brimming along your lash line. The sloppy sounds of him fucking your pussy ring in your ears, as embarrassing as it is arousing. He’s making you gush, slick wetting your inner thighs, dribbling down your ass to stain the sheets.

“So close, gonna - hnnng - gonna cum.”

“Yeah, that’s it. Just like that, baby. Give me that squirt.”

You shake your head. “I can’t - I can’t!”

If you could, you’d suspend time so this moment never ends. The finality of your arrangement hovering just on the other side of pleasure.

In the back of your mind, you know Jungkook’s only behaving this way because he’s jealous. Angry. He doesn’t mean it, and this is a mistake.

It’ll only hurt you in the long run but you’ll take what you can get.

After all, this is the last time you’ll be together like this.

“No,” he shushes, dropping a kiss to your sweaty brow, “No, don’t lie. I know you can. I’ll make you.”

There’s no escape.

He refuses to let you escape, using his weight to keep you pinned as he spreads his fingers open inside you, twisting and fucking so deep you feel a twinge behind your navel.

And then you’re right there, crashing over the edge as the bubble of pleasure bursts, crackling through your limbs.

You cum harder than you ever have before. Nails sinking into his shoulders with a hiss as a wounded, broken wail scrapes its way out of your throat.

Your pussy throbs, gummy walls sucking him deeper as a rush of cum gushes from you in spurts. Your ears ring with white noise, and you’re vaguely aware of the fact your hands have gone numb.

For several long moments, you float with a head full of cotton, only rejoining the atmosphere when warmth dribbles down your ass in sticky rivulets of squirt.

Jungkook’s arm is curled around your waist, holding you close as his nose nuzzles into the side of your head. Tender lips dust kisses over your crown. His cock is still a heavy weight digging into your hip but he doesn’t seem to be in any rush to relieve himself.

“Jungkook,” you sigh, a wave of fatigue crashing over you. Your eyes sting when you close them, a lump building in your throat. You ache all over pleasantly, satisfaction settling deep into your bones. In spite of that, a rift opens in your heart. “Jungkook, I--”

He kisses your shoulder, shushing you. “Don’t ruin it. Just let me hold you for a little while longer… please.”

The tears are almost impossible to stop. “It’s already hard enough, don’t make me -- I can’t just…”

Jungkook squeezes you gently. “I love you,” he says, “but I swear to god you can be so stupid sometimes.”

You jolt, eyes swinging up to meet his, wide and disbelieving. “What did you just - I - I don’t. ..Jungkook?”

“How could I not feel the same?” he asks, tone resigned and wary. “Honestly scared the shit out of me when I realized because, well, y’know I don’t have the best track record.” He averts his gaze, a sheepish smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I almost fucked everything up too, but Namjoonie-hyung helped me get my head on straight.”

Something unfurls in your chest, and you feel as light as air. Ridiculously buoyant with happiness. Hope.

Oh, how stupid.

“We’re kind of idiots, aren’t we?” you ask, sniffling as you shoot him a watery smile. “Like… the biggest.”

Jungkook hums in agreement, a boyish gleam to his eyes. “I mean, you said it. Not me.”

#jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x you #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts smut #jungkook #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x you #jungkook fic #bts jungkook

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kannouo · 1 month ago

Text

Cold hands/feet

fandom: obey me pairing: demon bros & dateables x gn!reader warnings: none prompt by anon: stumbled upon your blog and just read your hcs about the obey me guys and halloween, your writing is lovely and fun<3 ! i was thinking, how do you think the obey me bros + dateables would react with a mc whose hands and feet get easily cold? like 'dawg who let this corpse out the morgue 💀' typa cold. and even if they wear socks or gloves, it never seems to help much. instead, it turns into cold sweat so now it just feels like touching a defrosting chicken (projecting on this one) anyways, hope you're having a lovely day/night. enjoy your next 24 hours :] A/N: ty for the request and the kind words <33 this was funny to write for as i actually have the opposite problem myself, i run really warm. some of these are considerably shorter than others, sorry.

LUCIFER

• Lucifer isn't a very touchy person. That and he usually wears gloves, so he'll take a much longer time to notice how cold your hands get than you might expect. The first time he notices would have to be when you initiate affection yourself, and he's in the right mood to just sit back and let you touch him.

• You're sat facing him on his lap and move your hand up to gently caress his face. It was just meant to be a sweet gesture, and it certainly wasn't anything to provoke him to jerk his head away in momentary surprise.

• "Lucifer?" You say his name, a little concerned at his reaction. He was just staring at your hands.

• "You're freezing," he stated, then met your eyes again. "Is the fireplace not warm enough for you?"

• Until you explain it's just naturally how your hands feel, he will assume that the House of Lamentation is somehow still too cold for a human, and that you, for some reason, neglected to tell him this whole time. Even when he understands the situation, he's still likely to bump up the temperature on the thermostat just in case.

• You might have felt hurt by his initial reaction to literally move away from your touch, but he reassures you he was just surprised. He doesn't actually mind it, he just wasn't sure if that was how human hands were supposed to feel.

• That, and Lucifer runs cold too. Even colder than you. You're unlikely to notice early in your relationship due to the gloves, but he perpetually feels like he's been out in the cold for far too long. You ask if it's "a demon thing" and he gives you a strange look.

• For all I've said about him not minding, do not put your cold ass feet on him if you're in bed together. You'll lose your Lucifer's bed privileges until you can prove to him you've learned from your actions and promise not to do it again.

It's a surprisingly peaceful evening in the House of Lamentation. You sit with your DDD in hand in front of the fireplace, mindlessly scrolling through your socials when you suddenly feel something freezing touch the back of your neck. You lurch forward in shock, rubbing the afflicted area as you spin your head around to catch the culprit. There stands Lucifer, a pleased smirk on his face as he casually fits his glove back on his right hand. "Lucifer!" In a split-second decision, you jump up from the couch and begin to chase after him, hand outstretched. If it's a war he wants, then it's a war he'll get.

MAMMON

• Notices pretty early on. If he still hadn't developed feelings for you by the time he noticed, he'd likely react a little too dramatically and make some sort of comment about how your hands feel like ice and will threaten you not to touch him again.

• He deeply regrets that choice of words later on though. Even if you are cold enough to make a weirdly convincing dead body, that doesn't mean he wants your affection and attention any less, but it's not like he'll tell you that straight up. He'll try to get you to start touching him again with vague (or what he thinks are vague) hints and just hope you catch on and give him what he wants.

• If you don't, he'll frustrated eventually. Will literally grab your hands and place them on his face so you're cupping his cheeks, grumbling the whole time about how stupid you are and how he has to do everything for you.

• "I thought you didn't want me to touch you again." You smile, running your fingers through his hair. He sputtered.

• "W—well, that—" He huffed and bit the inside of his cheek, shooting you a half-hearted glare. "—Whatever! That was a long time ago. Things change! And— I mean, I'm sure you've been wantin' to touch me this whole time, right? I'm just... bein' considerate."

• It's best not to call his bluff. He'll get embarrassed and pouty.

• Like Lucifer, is also lowkey concerned for your health, and isn't sure if it's normal or okay for humans to be so freezing all the time. He'll still complain all the same when the thermostat is turned up and tries his best to find a workaround, like buying you fuzzy socks and gloves to keep you warm instead so the temperature can go back down.

• Obviously, this doesn't work and just makes your hands and feet cold and sweaty. He concedes that he'll just have to deal with it.

• A perfect target for pranks using this. Suddenly shove your hands up his shirt or place your feet on his bare legs. He has such dramatic and whiny reactions but ultimately won't do anything about it — denying you affection is far more of a punishment for him than it is for you.

You sit, confused, as Mammon holds both of your hands in his. He cups them together and breathes into them, then rubs them against each other like you would do to keep yourself warm in a freezing climate. The only problem is, you're in a room with several functioning heaters. "...What are you doing?" You finally ask. He glances up at you, then goes right back to what he was doing. "I'm tryin' to help you," he says. "This'll warm ya right up, won't it? Then Lucifer can turn the thermostat back down. I'm basically boilin' alive in here!" That definitely isn't how this technique works, but... he seems too determined to stop now.

LEVIATHAN

• Same.

• Levi's hands are usually pretty clammy, but they're also always cold. If Lucifer's hands are "been outside for too long" cold, then Levi's are "freezing death-grip" cold. He doesn't even really notice it, as the rest of his body runs equally as chilly.

• It's an understatement to say Levi isn't all that into touch. It makes him extremely nervous, and the most he'll ever be able to muster without panicking internally is resting his head on your shoulder or intertwining your pinkie fingers together. Because of that, he either takes a very long time to realise or just doesn't at all.

• It's also pretty difficult for him to discern how cold your hands are when they're against his skin, which is just as frigid.

• He's unlikely to notice on his own. He'd only really figure it out if one of his brothers made a comment about your hands being freezing cold that he happened to overhear. Afterwards, he'd ask you if it was true, and would just nod and be like "huh" when you explain. Overall he doesn't care, because he can't even tell.

• Since you don't run cold in the same way he does, it still startles you whenever he puts an unexpected hand on your shoulder. It'll take some time for him to believe you when you say you only react like that because of the shock, and at first he ends up feeling bad and locking himself in his room whenever you jump away from his touch.

"Levi..." You frown, kneeling down in front of the Avatar of Envy, who is curled up and hiding his face from you. "You just surprised me, that's all..." You really hadn't intended to upset him. He tapped you on the arm to get your attention and the sudden chill made you flinch a little, that's all. But he seems to have taken it in the worst possible way. "N—no, I get it..." Levi says with that same defeated tone you were so used to from his self-deprecating monologues. "O—of course you wouldn't want to be touched by an ugly, yucky otaku like me..." "Levi, come on..."

SATAN

• Satan realised by pure chance. In the library together, you walked alongside him as he chattered away about any books he thought you might enjoy. Pulling one out from the nearest shelf, he handed it to you, telling you to read the blurb and tell him what you thought. You unintentionally brushed your hand against his as you did so.

• He didn't react immediately, waiting for you to finish skimming over the back of the book. Only then did he bring it up. "Are you cold?"

• Confused, you replied. "What?"

• "Your hands feel cold," he said. "If you are, I could lend you my jacket? I don't want you getting sick."

• As tempting and sweet as that offer was, you shook your head and explained your hands were just like that. To that, he nodded his head, apologised for assuming anything, and then proceeded to insist you take his jacket anyway. It's a romantic fantasy of his.

• He absolutely tries to buy you gloves, thicker socks and/or shoes. He's confused but understanding when you say they don't really work, and honestly doesn't mind as long as you reassure him the coldness of your hands and feet doesn't really bother you. He just doesn't want your hands to be achy and stiff all the time.

• Otherwise, he doesn't mind it. He'll hold your hand, kiss the back of your palm and allow you to be affectionate with him all the same. He might try to encourage you to shove your hands up Lucifer's shirt though. Just once.

• Don't do it to him though. Demon form instantly.

• Surprisingly, Satan usually doesn't care much about feeling your cold feet on him if you're cuddling together either, but it might irritate him if he feels it in the middle of the night when he's too tired to be fully logical.

"Satan, there's no way I'm doing that," you say as you stare down the demon in front of you, unimpressed. "He'll kill me." "He'd kill me, not you." You roll your eyes as you realise Satan clearly isn't giving up on trying to convince you to 'prank' Lucifer by shoving your hands up his shirt. With the amount of layers the first-born has, you aren't even sure if you'd be able to if you tried. "...If you do it, I'll take you to that cat cafe you liked." You eye him suspiciously. "...The one with Luna?" "The one with Luna."

ASMODEUS

• Asmo runs pretty warm. He has to, with how he spends hours out clubbing in the cold climate of the Devildom wearing as close to nothing as he can possibly get without being accused of public indecency. So you being cold to the touch is a bit of a shock to him.

• He had been begging you to let him do your nails all day until you finally caved. But just as he took your hand in his, he hesitated. "Darling, you're freezing. Why is that? My windows are all closed."

• "Oh... no, my hands are always like that."

• He pouted. "Poor thing. Well, once I'm done with your nails, how about you spend the rest of the day holding hands with dear old Asmo, hm? That should warm you right up! ♡"

• Insist all you want that it doesn't bother you or that you can't even feel it, he'll just act like he doesn't hear so he can continue to use it as an excuse to be all over you.

• It actually isn't that bad though. Being naturally warm, pressing your hold hands against his skin actually feels super nice, and he's always the one initiating it. He's impossible to scare by randomly putting your hands on him, too. He'll just react with a smile and a dirty comment.

• He'll buy or fashion fingerless gloves for you to try in the hopes it might be a little less suffocating than ones that cover your whole hand. They do work a little better, but you may or may not find them uncomfortable depending on your preferences.

• He keeps asking you to touch his back because he likes how your cold fingers feel against his skin, but only do so if you're prepared for him to let out a very exaggerated moan to embarrass you. Can and will do that shit in public.

You lean against Asmo, one hand under his shirt and resting against his side and the other clasped in his own. Every now and again he ducks his head down to place a kiss against your knuckles before resting his head back on your shoulder. The quiet added to the rare peaceful and serene moment, but just as you let your body relax... "Asmo!" You snatch your hand away when you felt him start to move your wrist further down his body. He giggles as you shove at his shoulder. "Honestly! You're insatiable! I'm leaving!" "No, no! Baby I'm sorryyy!~"

BEELZEBUB

• When Beel feels your cold hands brush up against him for the first time, he doesn't even ask questions in the moment. He straight-up drops his jacket on you right away and apologises when you nearly tumble to the ground from the weight of it.

• Beel is another one who will be very concerned. From what he's heard, humans emit natural body heat, and he's only ever heard humans be described as "cold to the touch" when they've been out in bad weather for too long or if they're dead. And he knows for a fact you've been inside all day, so... Are you dying, MC?

• He tries to believe you when you say it's natural and nothing to be so worried about, but he just can't help it. His hands are calloused and rough from centuries of playing sports, so he's hardly bothered by the chill of yours and will just hold them whenever he can to try and "warm you up".

• Is convinced that eating warm food and drinking hot beverages will help. Even if you don't actually feel cold, he might still insist you drink the hot chocolate because he's uneasy.

• He's overprotective by nature. If you can get him to loosen up and stop fretting, he'll apologise for having worried so much. He doesn't want you to be annoyed with him for overreacting about something you're so used to and consider totally normal.

• Is totally fine with you placing your hands or feet on him. He doesn't even react most of the time. You're convinced he can't feel it.

"Beel, honestly, I'm fine..." "But..." He glances between you and the cup of tea in his hands. He can't look at the drink for too long though, or he starts to feel the urge to chug it himself. He can't do that — it's supposed to be for you. "Please? A hot drink is always best on a cold day." "We're in a heatwave..." You sigh, unable to argue any further. Giving in, you take the cup from his hands. "Fine, I'll drink it. But I'm telling you, there really is nothing wrong."

BELPHEGOR

• To be blunt, he isn't a fan.

• He's been right on the cusp of falling asleep only to be startled awake by your freezing hands and feet touching him as you crawl into bed way too many times. He isn't against you cuddling him completely — you're still a good cuddle-buddy, in a "cold side of the pillow" way — but he would like you to keep your hands above his clothes and your feet to yourself. Thanks.

• Aside from Mammon, he's also likely to complain about the thermostat temperature being turned up by Lucifer, which in turn causes Beel to complain on his behalf. He keeps waking up after long naps all sweaty and hot... eugh.

• On the bright side, him being too warm means he'll suddenly switch up on your cold hands. Suddenly, he loves the feeling of them against his skin, and needs you by his side to cool him down while he sleeps.

• Joins Satan in encouraging you to shove your hands up Lucifer's shirt. Do it. Just once. Unfortunately for Satan however, Belphie is a little traitor, and will also go behind his back to tell you to do it to him right after.

• A complete hypocrite. If you pull the same stunt on him he'll make the most exaggerated pouting face you've ever seen and go complain to Beel about you. If you look at him while he's doing so, he'll give you a shit-eating smirk when Beel isn't looking.

• Gets you matching fuzzy socks. He knows they don't really work in keeping your feet warm throughout the day, but asks you to at least keep them on when you two cuddle, so you can match with him and he can avoid any rude awakenings.

The fourth-born had been absent for not five seconds when Belphie scoots over on the couch to whisper in your ear. "When Satan comes back," he pauses, stifling a yawn. "Shove your hands up his shirt. Like you're going to do to Lucifer." You give him a look. "Why would I do that?— And I never agreed to do it to Lucifer." "It'll be funny," he grins lazily. "Look, he's coming back. If you don't do it, I'll grab your wrists and do it for you, you know..."

DIAVOLO

• Diavolo doesn't just run warm, he runs hot. Almost uncomfortably so. Never expect to be able to cuddle with this guy without getting sweaty.

• When he first feels your cold hands, he either assumes humans are just naturally so frigid or goes the Lucifer route and does everything he can to increase the temperature of RAD and the palace to prevent you from being so cold. After one absolutely sweltering day at RAD, you asked Diavolo what was going on and why it was suddenly so blisteringly hot.

• "I raised the temperature as much as I could to make it more comfortable for you!" He flashed you a big, proud smile. "Come now, let me feel your hands. It should be better for you now, yes?"

• "Ah... why are they still cold?"

• He means well, really, but he's very confused. He becomes more understanding once it's explained to him and thankfully turns the temperature back down. You swore all of your classmates were seconds away from murdering one another just from the humidity alone.

• It's not like you have the guts to do it anyway — and if you did, Barbatos would stop you — but in case you were curious, he also doesn't react to the feeling of you suddenly putting your hands on him. Like Asmo, he actually thinks the chill of your fingers is quite nice.

• He might offer to hold your hands in his whenever you're sat next to him because he's fully aware of how warm he is in comparison to you. It warms you up and feels pretty good.

RAD student council meetings are usually quite dull. Unless they were in preparation for some kind of event, in which case you could expect the opposite problem — all the brothers would be bickering amongst themselves so loudly that it felt like all the energy had been drained out of you by the time you returned home. Today, however, was on the quiet end of things, and you were just waiting for it to be over. You sit next to Diavolo, cheek resting on your hand as you idly tap the table with the eraser end of your pencil. "MC." He nudges you a little. Your head shoots up, momentarily afraid he had realised you were zoning out, but he meets you with a smile and offers you his hand. Wordlessly, you place your free hand in his and he gently clasps his fist around it. Student council meetings are dull, but at least you have Diavolo to share little moments like these with.

BARBATOS

• Another man with gloves here. He knew about your cold hands from listening to the others or observing the jokes you'd play on them using it, but he's unlikely to have any personal experiences with them until much later.

• He honestly doesn't care that much. However, if you feel your hands starting to ache or go stiff, he'll hold them in his own and breathe into them to warm them up. Either that or he'll give you his own gloves for a period of time. They're already warm from him using them, so it's actually pretty nice.

• Is one of the only demons to be reasonable about it. Everybody thank Barbatos.

• Won't interfere with you suddenly putting your hands on anyone or shoving your hands up their shirt, unless it's Diavolo, obviously. He thinks their reactions are amusing. It isn't even worth trying to do to him though, he's impossible to catch off-guard. That, and his hands are also pretty cold, so he can and will do it right back.

• Encourages you to do it to Solomon and will protect you from the sorcerer's wrath afterwards.

• Not to repeat myself, but once you two further your relationship a little more, you'll discover he also quite likes the feeling of your hands on him. He isn't one to show it physically, but he'll let you know how pleasant he finds it if he's in an affectionate mood.

• Not a very cuddly person — mostly because he just never has time for it — but on the rare instance you two cuddle, he won't care much about you placing your feet on him but will pretend like he's mad about it to tease you. He'll get up and refuse to return until you literally beg for forgiveness, at which point he smiles and tells you he never truly minded, but since you asked so nicely he'll come back to the couch with you.

Spotting Barbatos in the kitchen completely focused on his baking would usually be a sign to leave him alone as to not distract him. But for you? No, it was the perfect opportunity to strike. He didn't look up as you enter the kitchen and sneak up behind him, and just when you think you may finally have the upper hand— —He grabs your wrists before you can land your hands on his skin and meets you with a smile. "Ah, MC." You pout, but he isn't moved. "How nice of you to join. Since you clearly aren't up to anything important, how about you lend a hand by fetching me some ingredients?" ...Mission failed.

SIMEON

• I have to imagine that Simeon knows a little more about the human body than most of the demons. So when he holds your hand for the first time, his first thought isn't "they could be hypothermic," it's just "oh, they have cold hands."

• He honestly doesn't mind or even really say anything about it. The most he'll do is lend you his coat on a colder day and tell you to hide your hands inside the sleeves to keep them warm — but then he's just left in that revealing body-suit thing he has, so he gets freezing instead.

• Simeon is a pretty affectionate person, so if you try to stop yourself from directly touching him too much because you know your hands are freezing, he won't be pleased.

• He places your hands back on his face, tilting his head to plant a kiss on your palm. "How much will it take to convince you I enjoy your touch?"

• To be honest, that's a pretty dangerous question to leave entirely up to you, but do what you will with it.

• You know how his shoulders and hips are completely bare for some reason? If you walk up behind him and trace a finger along his shoulder or just grab onto his hips, he jumps and does this cute shiver. He won't scold you for it, but he does get embarrassed and quiet if you do it in front of other people.

"Simeon?" You tap the back of his head. It's still early in the morning, yes, but you have to get up soon. Lucifer would have your head if you two miss a day of RAD, but your angel seems particularly sleepy this morning, as nothing seems to be waking him at all. He was the last person you would expect to have this sort of problem with... "Simeon..." You lower your hand and place your palm on his shoulder, watching him shudder from the cold. "Get up." Finally, you see him blink. He looks up at you, a yawn on his lips as he speaks. "Good morning..."

SOLOMON

• He has a spell for that.

• No, I'm serious, he does.

• It's up to you whether or not you trust this mystery concoction he gives you and tells you to drink because it will, somehow, make your body run warmer. He reassures you it's supposed to be a dark purple. It's nothing to worry about. Believe me.

• For the sake of these headcanons, I'm going to assume you have any sense of self-preservation and don't take drinks from strange wizards.

• Solomon's hands are very cold as well, but he insists they used to be warm when he was younger. You think, perhaps it's symbolic of him slowly leaving his humanity behind as the centuries go on? Either way, you both are menaces.

• If the brothers thought you were bad with shoving your hands up their shirt, wait until Solomon gets in the mix. He'll use magic to somehow enhance the freezing cold of his hands and make them shriek because it's so cold it stings. At least they love you enough to let you get away with it, though. I cannot say the same about Solomon.

• He's banned from the House of Lamentation because he had the bright idea of trying to do it to Lucifer. Any chance of making a pact with him is thrown out the window. Good job.

• It's a bad idea to try doing it to Solomon for the sole reason he will not stop until he gets his revenge — and like I said, he'll make his hands so freezing they hurt to have against your skin. Your best bet is to go to Barbatos for protection because, again, he thinks it's amusing, and his millennium-long grudge on Solomon has still not fully dissipated.

"...What happened?" You blink up at the sorcerer in front of you, who is dangling upside-down from a tree just outside the House of Lamentation. From the ropes hanging him there by his legs, you guess it must have been Lucifer's doing. He gives you a sheepish smile. "Well, since you were hesitant to do Satan and Belphie's prank on Lucifer..." Your eyes widen as you realise what he's talking about. Surely he didn't— "So, I did it instead." "..." "My lovely apprentice will let me down, won't you? Ah— w-wait, hold on! Don't leave me here!"

#obey me #obey me x reader #obey me shall we date #omswd #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #obey me solomon

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suiana · 3 months ago

Text

(yandere! vampire x afab! reader) (cw: period blood💀, suggestive) (reader is gn but has a uterus)

he is the young lord of a prestigious vampire family family.

honour, money, respect.

he could be everything and anything. his status allows him to do so. and the fact that he's a vampire only makes him so much more powerful.

a young and educated bachelor of a prestigious vampire family.

elegant, smart, educated.

he'd never make a rash decision, always thinking things through before doing anything. careful calculations, masterful deceptions...

that's why he doesn't understand it when his friend tells him that period blood is tasty.

"dude, you've got to try it sometime. like, it's got this tangy taste and-"

"silence! how disgusting are you?"

his face is completely twisted, eyes narrowing as he glares at his friend of 150 years. what on earth is he talking about? tasty? tangy?

his best friend wasn't like this before. he used to be more composed. he'd never say something that vulgar.

ugh, it must be because his friend got that human girlfriend a while back. ever since they started dating... he doesn't even want to think about it. that human must have brainwashed him or something. like period blood? seriously?

...

he can't say much though. he's the same with you too. if you asked him to do something nasty with your blood... i mean, you're his mate! he'll do anything if you asked for it!

"ugh... my cramps are so painful..."

your vampire boyfriend immediately spins his ehad towards you, an alert expression as he teleports to your side to immediately rub at your belly.

"do you need anything, my love?"

"just for my cramps to stop hurting so much."

your boyfriend hates seeing you like this. all in pain, crouching over yourself. curse whoever made periods! how dare they hurt his wonderful lover? he swears that he'll-

"...babe, you're doing the thing again."

oh.

the vampire lord shys away, immediately hiding his fangs as he clears his throat.

"sorry beloved. you know how I get whenever you're in pain. you don't deserve to suffer, you know? I just get so passionate sometimes."

he sighs, shaking his head as he curls up beside you and snuggles up with you. ah, this is perfect- wait a second.

'dude, i don't know whether your mate will allow you to but whenever they get their cramps getting them to orgasm relieves the pain.'

why the hell did he suddenly remember his best friend's words right now?!

ah...

the vampire turns his head towards yours, a pretty pink hue on his cheeks asnhe snuggles you even more. it catches your attention and.. you can't help but raise an eyebrow. what the hell was your boyfriend up to now? did he kill someone in your name again?

"what?"

"you... have cramps right?"

did he hit his head or something?

"yeah? i literally just said it."

your grunt, feeling slightly more snappy than usual because your hormones were fucking everything up. everything was so uncomfortable, and the pain meds weren't helping either. sometimes you wish you could just tear out your uterus and never have to suffer periods ever again.

wait, wait, wait what?

you were pulled out from your thoughts when your boyfriend suddenly stopped hugging you, instead moving his face lower... and lower- hold on, is he in the mood right now?!

"w-wait! what are you doing? i'm on my period dummy!"

"yeah? i know?"

you feel your cheeks heating up as your boyfriend stares at you from in between your legs. what the hell? is he crazy? you know how much of a clean freak he is! he'd never do something so... filthy!

"get out from my legs then?! what if my blood gets-"

"i... heard from my friend that it would help your cramps go away."

he pauses, face blushing as he stares at your pants before glancing back up at your face.

"and you know how much I hate seeing you in pain baby. I don't care if it gets messy."

you could only stare at him in a mixture of embarrassment and horror as he begins to momentarily outfreak you with his behaviour. he's never... done anything like this before. and you know how much he hates getting dirty and so-called 'un-fresh blood'.

he's gone on a rant about how different fresh blood and not fresh blood tastes like before. you vividly remember his disgusted voice and his horrific face as he recounted what his best friend and hiss mate did.

and yet... he's doing the same thing now?!

"hey... you don't have to do it-! I thought you-"

"yeah, but it's fine. I'm doing it for you anyways."

you didn't know what to say to that so you merely sighed and let him do what he wanted to do. you never managed to stop him when he was set on something anyway.

...

so your vampire boyfriend ended up liking it more than he should.

um.

yeah good luck :3

#yandere #tw yandere #yandere x reader #yandere drabbles #yandere imagines #yandere scenarios #yandere concept #yandere vampire #yandere vampire x reader #suiana brainrotting #suiana rambling

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slut4thebroken · 9 months ago

Text

Sweet Dreams

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pairing | Tommy Shelby x daughter!reader

Summary | Tommy let’s you try some of his whiskey.

Warnings | Smut, 18+, sexual content, actual incest, technically non con, large age gap (unspecified), breeding/housewife kink, somno, underaged drinking (pretend the legal age is 21 over there lol), kissing, praise, innocence & corruption kink, daddy but not the kink, I want him to take advantage of me so bad😭

Words | 2.4 k

Notes | I shouldn’t even have to say this but this is a work of fiction. Please remember that lmao. Also it’s unspecified but reader is at least 18 so don’t come for me 💀 It’s also unspecified on whether reader is his bio daughter or step daughter so feel free to choose lol.

Ao3 link | <3

Masterlist

(You can only read this fic if you pinky promise to help me come up with a different title)

You were lying on his chest as he read a story to you, trying to get you to finally fall asleep. But your brain was too awake. When he grabbed his glass from the side table and paused reading to take another sip, you decided to ask him.

“What’s that, daddy?” You angled your head up to look at his face.

“It’s whiskey, love.” Your eyes moved between his face and the glass.

“Can I try some?” You finally asked, making his brows shoot up.

“This drink isn't for little girls. You’ll have to wait until you’re older.” He chuckled, making you frown.

“Why can’t I try some now?” You pouted.

“Because you’re too young, love. Give it a couple years, then I’ll let you have some.” You turned onto your stomach and leaned up to face him better.

“Please, daddy?” You gave him puppy dog eyes and he stared at you for a moment, then let out a breathy laugh and shook his head.

“Alright, fine. But just one sip.” You beamed at that and grabbed the glass when he handed it to you. Before tasting it, you decided to sniff it first, noting that it smells like how he sometimes smells. Not able to wait any longer, you took a small sip, then immediately scrunched your face up in disgust. He laughed quietly and you swallowed it, but that only made it worse.

“It burns!” You whined, coughing lightly.

“You get used to it, little one.” He said with an amused smile. “Try some more, it should be better this time.” You hesitated, but took another sip. It wasn’t better, it still burned a lot and you could barely take it. “Good girl. Have a little more.”

“Daddy, it hurts.”

“I know, love, but if you drink more it’ll stop hurting. Don’t you trust me?” You averted your gaze and bit your lip. After a moment, you brought the glass up to your lips again. “That’s my girl.” He said proudly, making you blush. You coughed again, but he wasn’t wrong, the burn was just barely starting to improve.

“You’re such a good girl. Drink a little more for me, eh?” You pouted, but nodded and took another sip, this one slightly larger. “There you go… How do you feel, princess?”

“Warm.. n’fuzzy.” That made him laugh quietly.

“Yeah?” You nodded. “That’s good. Can you do one last thing for daddy?”

“Mhm.” You could feel yourself getting a little drowsier and you weren’t sure why.

“Can you finish the rest for me?” You looked at how much was left and whined quietly, but agreed. Figuring it’d be better to get it over with quickly, you chugged the rest, ignoring how much your throat was hurting. “Good girl. You are such a good girl for me, baby.” He took the cup and set it on the side table, along with the book he was reading to you. “Tell me how you feel now.”

“Mm… sleepy.” You mumbled, making him smile.

“Don’t try to fight it, love, just go to sleep. It’s past your bedtime anyway.” You let out an incoherent agreement, then laid your head on his chest again, letting him wrap his arm around your shoulders. You weren't so tired that you fell asleep instantly, but you were tired enough where you could barely keep your eyes open.

Tommy stared down at you as he stroked your hair, soothing you to sleep. You turned more on your stomach and lifted your leg so it was bent and resting over his legs. One of his hands moved down to your bare thigh and rubbed slowly, staying below the hem of your night dress.

“My sweet girl.” He murmured, kissing the top of your head. You hugged him tighter and he was suddenly very aware of your breasts against his side. “Getting so grown up…” He sighed solemnly. “Thought I told you not to do that? I oughta punish you for disobeying your father.” He suddenly squeezed your thigh and you let out a quiet noise, but didn’t react any other way besides that.

He kept dragging his hand up and down your thigh, pushing your dress up a little higher each time. For a while, he continued that, waiting until your breathing slowed and you started to fall asleep. He smiled at the sound of your soft snores and brushed your hair away from your face as he looked down at you. Cupping your cheek, he brushed his thumb over your bottom lip— so soft… so kissable. He had to shake his head to get rid of the thought as soon as it appeared. You’re too innocent and pure. He’d never be able to forgive himself if he took that from you. But fuck…

You smiled a little in your sleep and hugged him tighter, pushing your cunt against his hip as your leg rested on his crotch. He stiffened and bit his lip, trying to control his thoughts and his body. But he couldn’t help it when his hand drifted from your cheek to the strap of your dress. He teased it a little, silently debating if he should… It didn’t take much convincing though.

Slowly pushing the strap down your arm, he just barely brushed his fingertips on your skin. He continued dragging it down until the nightie was being pulled as well, slowly exposing more of you. He only stopped once it was resting on your waist.

“Fuck.” He hissed, staring at your young, perky breast and hardened nipple. He lowered his hand so it was holding your hip, then raised the one on your thigh to lightly trace over the soft skin. You just looked so young— so little. Especially when he cupped your breast, completely engulfing it in his hand. He knew that your pussy would be just as little. The thought had him biting his lip to stifle a groan, feeling his cock twitch in his pants under your leg.

He squeezed and groped you slowly, being extra gentle while he still had the self control to do so. When he moved his attention to your nipple and started rolling it between his fingers, you let out a quiet little sound, just barely audible.

He placed his palm flat on your chest and slowly snaked it down your body, to the bottom of your dress. Without any hesitation, he snaked his hand back up, taking the fabric with it. He cursed under his breath as more and more of your body was becoming visible.

You were perfect. You looked like innocence personified. When he couldn’t take it anymore, he gently pushed your shoulder to get you to lay on your back, making you whine quietly.

“I know, sweet girl. It’s okay.” He whispered, kissing your head as he turned on his side to face you. He ran his hand over the soft skin of your tummy and down to your hips, where the plain cotton panties rested. “You’re so beautiful.” He murmured, almost dreamily. As his hand continued to explore your body, he tugged down the other side of your dress, then moved his head closer and gently kissed your nipple. He took it into his mouth, suckling on the hard bud and moaning quietly against you. The only reaction you gave was a soft sound and a small shift of your body.

“Are you gonna let daddy see your pretty pussy?” His voice was quiet, but thick with arousal. “Shake your head if you don’t want me to.” He chuckled quietly, as he kissed over your breast, just enjoying having his lips on you. When you didn’t respond, he got up and moved between your legs, settling on his stomach between them. Rough hands were placed on your thighs, prying them apart to give himself more room.

He leaned down and inhaled deeply, savoring your scent. With a low groan, he started mouthing at your cunt, licking and sucking through the panties just to tease himself. Your hips squirmed a little and a quiet moan left you, making his eyes snap up to your face, but you were still fast asleep. After only a few more seconds, he pulled back so he could move your underwear to the side, exposing your glistening cunt.

“Do you like when daddy touches you like this? Is that why you’re so wet already?” He asked teasingly, not expecting a response. Using his thumbs, he pulled your folds apart, giving him a better view of your untouched pussy. “My perfect little girl…” He sighed, unable to tear his eyes away.

He moved his thumbs closer and pulled your hole open a little, imagining how it’d look stretched open on his cock. The thought had him grinding against the bed like a fucking teenager. He desperately wanted to force his fat cock inside, split you open and push it in deep. He wanted you to cry and beg him to stop, to tell him how much he was hurting you.

He wanted to bury his cock in your torn up, used little pussy, press the tip right up against your cervix and fuck you full of his come. He wanted to give you load after load, not stopping until he fucked a baby into you. Even though, realistically, that could never be allowed to happen, he enjoyed picturing you with a round belly, your breasts swollen with milk. He wanted to keep you at home, safe from the world, to raise all of the babies he fucks into you, cook him dinner every night, drain his balls whenever he needs it.

“Fuck—” He choked out, suddenly getting on his knees between your legs, opening his pants to free his cock. He stroked himself slowly a few times, gaze dragging all over your body. “See what you fucking to do me?” He hissed, slapping his cock on your clit a few times. Practically holding his breath, he dragged the tip through your folds, covering himself in your slick. He held his cock right up against your entrance, breathing heavily and closing his eyes, shaking his head to convince himself not to do it.

He’d hate himself for the rest of his life… But would that be worth it to feel you stretched past your limit around his cock?

“No.” He decided, clearing his throat and opening his eyes again. “No. Not— not yet…” He leaned over your body, keeping his length firmly between your cunt and his stomach, then started grinding slowly. He watched your brows scrunch together a little when you felt the constant rubbing on your clit.

Dragging his gaze over the rest of your face, he finally settled on your lips. He leaned closer, trying to steady his breathing as his eyes grew heavier until they finally shut, only a second before he pressed his lips to yours. You didn’t kiss back— obviously— but he enjoyed feeling your soft lips against his. Growing needier, his hips sped up as he deepened the kiss, licking into your mouth, practically devouring you.

You let out a muffled sound and started squirming a little, making him pull back. As he panted, he watched your heavy eyes trying to flutter open.

“Daddy?” You mumbled, voice laced with sleepiness. “What…” You trailed off, unable to get out any other words, and he shushed you softly.

“Don’t worry, little one. I’m here.. you’re okay.” He murmured, kissing your forehead and cupping your cheek, the movement of his hips never faltering. “Just go back to sleep. You’re safe with daddy.” And you believed him. You stopped trying to open your eyes and relaxed into the bed again. He resumed the kiss, keeping the intensity from before as he pushed his tongue in your mouth and moved his hand from your cheek to your jaw to tilt your head up a little more.

“Daddy…” You tried to say, voice coming out in a pathetic, muffled whine. He hummed in response, not pulling back to bother with verbally replying. His free hand moved to cup your breast, groping and kneading until you were letting out quiet little sounds into the kiss. You whimpered when he started pinching and pulling on your nipple.

“Shh… It’s okay, love.” He said softly, only pulling away to speak before immediately diving back into the kiss. His hand strayed from your breast, dragging all over your body, feeling every inch of skin possible.

He broke away from your lips so he could trail kisses along your jaw, then down your neck. His cock throbbed at the idea of covering you in marks— claiming you so everyone knew who you belonged to. But he knew he couldn’t if he wanted this to happen again. So he continued kissing your skin, inhaling the sweet scent of your perfume. Everything about you was absolutely perfect.

“I can’t wait to feel your cunt.” He whispered into the crook of your neck, his breathing growing more labored. “You’re such a good little girl, aren’t you? And all mine.” He was rambling as he neared his release, far quicker than he would’ve liked. “All fucking mine. You belong to daddy, eh? These perfect tits,” he suckled on your nipples, quickly and eagerly, “belong to daddy. Your pretty little cunt belongs to daddy.” He growled, cock twitching at the thought. “You’re mine.”

He cursed under his breath when he felt his balls tighten up. Lifting himself so he was sitting on his knees, he rapidly fisted his cock, keeping your panties pulled to the side. As soon as the first ropes of come shot out onto your cunt, he let out a low groan at the sight. He grunted and moaned, breathing heavily as he watched all of his come land on your folds. He waited until the last drop beaded on the tip, then dragged his cock through your slit, spreading his arousal. He moved it down toward your hole and just barely pushed his cock forward to get some of it inside.

“Good girl.” He said through a heavy breath, admiring you for another moment before fixing your underwear and night dress, then tucking his cock back in his pants. He stopped again and just stared at you for a few seconds. Your cheeks were a little flushed from the alcohol and probably also the stimulation on your clit, and your lips were just barely parted as you breathed quietly. “Made daddy feel so good.” He whispered as he leaned down to kiss your forehead. You let out an incoherent sound, making him smile. “Sweet dreams, little one.”

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ken-jaku · 9 months ago

Text

pretty nose, pretty boy. zayne from love and deepspace

there's a huge chance my phone may have distorted the quality to make it look like he has a dorsal hump but idc! i like the idea of it sm that im gonna lie to myself!

content warnings. suggestive content (smut), pussydrunk!zayne, both fem!reader and zayne are virgins, fingering, oral via face riding, zayne has a dorsal hump, semi!public sex (at akso hospital for the plot😼). vague mentions of zayne's asphyxiation kink, brief mentions of pining, nervous/anxious reader. verbal consent (zayne strictly wants words, no hums or nods). zayne is naturally dominant in this... idk what came over me. overstimulation. cumming right after an orgasm cause "love knows no bounds" :D mention of jealousy towards rafayel. reader has doctor/patient kink? all this on the first day of dating is crazyyy shit writing, haven't published anything since 2016 and that was a 5 chapter, 300 words each, wattpad story on hanahaki💀 huge chance i might edit this again later

word count. 5.09k words

"zayne?" your words are almost like a whisper as you squirm on the couch, impatience and anxiety riddling you as you can't wait to get dinner and execute your plan of either a.) finally getting a longer kiss compared to the two-second one you had earlier or b.) getting said kiss and have him hang out for a few more minutes after he walks you to your apartment. your boyfriend of just a few hours, which still feels rather unreal, sat across the room from you, hard at work. his long, scarred fingers tap away at the keyboard before him. a soft, short hum leaves his lips in acknowledgement of you.

said hum goes, unintentionally, ignored as you couldn't stop staring at him. the way his long eyelashes gently graced his lids, his nose twitching ever so slightly to shift his glasses as he focused on the computer screen. his beauty- his very being was captivating.

you never noticed it before but his nose had a small, almost unnoticeable, dorsal hump. soon enough, your mind went where no one's should be, especially on the day you confess and start dating. you wanted to fuck his face, plain and simple. sure, it was a bit too soon to have those thoughts but, really. who cares? you cuffed a pretty man with a pretty nose- you just can't help yourself!

"are you alive over there?" your physician's monotone voice almost makes you jump, "you've been staring at me for quite a while," his voice now laced with faux concern, "i couldn't get your attention for almost a minute."

you clear your throat, smoothing out your dress as you stand up. your fingers picked at each other as you got closer to him. zayne's mind drifts briefly from the task at hand as he watches you through the corner of his eyes, taking in the long silk sundress you chose to wear. the dress hugged all the right places and was quite flattering on you. for it to be the first formal piece of attire he'd see on you- it was like a blessing.

"when are we gonna leave? our reservation's in thirty minutes." you sigh, leaning over his desk and taking a peek at his computer before ultimately resting your head on the wooden surface, staring at his hands as the unfamiliar terms and long words on the screen annoyed you to no end.

"soon, my love, and stop hurting yourself. we won't be late." he places his left hand in yours, eyes not leaving the screen before him as he holds his breath in your presence. that was the end of it. you knew him well enough to know that. your begging would only result in the same monotone voice, the only difference being the almost unnoticeable annoyance that laced his words. it made no sense to fight back. you struggle not to release another sigh, your eyes never leaving the handsome man in front of you.

well, at least he has his beauty going for him despite being strict.

your hand reaches up to his face, delicately tracing the lines of his nose, following the curve of his high nose bridge upwards with your finger. just as you barely tilt his glasses, he stops you— his large, cold hand gripping your wrist. the interaction sends shivers down your spine as his eyes stare into yours with an intensity that leaves you wanting.

zayne finally lets out a breath, "is there something on my face for you to be staring at it for so long? the more you distract me, the longer this will take." your nickname follows— the word leaving his mouth sweetly in comparison to the others.

a murmur leaves your pretty, glossy lips, having swiped your tongue over them one too many times in the past three minutes, "you just have a pretty nose..." you trail off.

your physician tilts his head, eyes never leaving your face as he reads your body language. you were nervous- that was obvious but you were also hiding something, "what do you like about it?"

your cheeks feel warm and you find yourself averting his gaze as your head leaves the desk, the area now occupied with your elbows, "you have a dorsal hump."

he hums, "that i do... is that all you like?" your breath hitches and you cross your legs.

planting your palms on the wooden surface, you quickly attempt to rise from the desk only to find yourself being pulled back into place. zayne had dragged you back to him with the same singular hand that gripped your wrist. he was enjoying this, you could tell. it was never in his nature to pry so deeply even when it pertained to him so to see him show his true colours the day you begin dating...

"zayne..."

"come here." he hoarsely whispers as he stands up, taking a step closer to you before pulling you towards him, closing the distance between you two. his hand finally lets go of your wrist, opting to place both of them at the sides of your body, resting them on the desk behind you. you feel yourself leaning further against the table as he gets closer, until eventually, you find yourself almost sitting on it. he had you trapped.

zayne sighs, his head now resting on your shoulder as you eye the way his hand moves. just barely brushing your hip, he slides his hand down from your lower arm into your palm. one thing about zayne: he frequently has dreams about you- perverted ones at that. he was never proud of them but, god, did he indulge in them whenever they came along. you'd walk around the hospital every week, clueless about how he wished to secretly take you, not in front of everyone, though- he wants it to be away from prying eyes, but never prying ears.

while roaming akso and attending to duties, he'd regularly spot you in the corner of his eye- he doesn't like to admit it but he does make an attempt to cross paths with you at least once before seeing you in his office when you come for appointments. in your little skirt, you'd bend down to receive the same drink from the same secluded vending machine- the plush of your thighs on display for him to see. the sight would always leave his throat dry as he either speaks to you, forcing himself to let go of all the lewd thoughts and have a proper conversation, or he turns around quickly, as if he'd committed a sin, only to come back to that very same area every two weeks to commit the same act.

sometimes, just as he's about to address you, he hears your friend calling out to you with a sulky demeanour. it was always that same friend named rafayel too, never anyone different. deep down, he wishes for that kid to stop clinging to you like a lost puppy, showing up at akso, begging for your attention as he claims he fell down the stairs or got a cramp in his finger. he also occupies a hospital bed from time to time by admitting himself when he really doesn't need to but that's the least of zayne's grievances with him. zayne's always dreamed of wanting everyone, especially rafayel, to know you're his. and now that you two are dating, he's one step closer to said desire.

you feel two pecks on your shoulder blade and one on your palm. he brings your hand up to cup his cheek, "tell me what else you like about my nose, (name)." his tone was more commanding than anything, seemingly laced with jealousy and annoyance- not towards you, of course- never towards you. he'd never spoken to you that way before but, god, do you like it.

you watch as his fingers graze yours softly, his eyes only ever leaving yours when he closes them, revelling in the warmth your hand brings his cold, freezing body.

"i... " you feel his knee grazing your thigh as you try to spit something out.

"you can say it. no matter how vile and vulgar your thoughts may be... i want you to say it," after reassuring you, he asks once more, "what else do you like about my nose, (name)?"

a soft gasp leaves your lips as you feel his knee push further up your dress, "say it," he whispers, his lips now grazing your ear as his hand reaches for the back of your neck.

"i love how easy it looks to ride, zayne, fuck-" your words get muffled as zayne kisses you intensely. the feeling has you dizzy as the farthest you've gotten were the pecks initiated by you earlier that day and the ones he initiated just a few minutes ago.

his other hand grips your waist tightly as he presses himself into you further, his hands now the only thing keeping you from falling back onto the table. with the way he handled you, it was like he couldn't get enough. your very scent allured him.

"is this okay?" his lips withdraw yours as he begins leaves pecks on your cheek and neck as he awaited your response.

a nod and hum left you as you stared at the windows, looking at the reflection and taking pleasure in the way he kissed your body. but he stops.

as you were about to turn to him and ask what was wrong, a strict stare was all it took. his brownish-green eyes pierced into yours in the reflection of the glass. his eyebrows raised as he waited for something from you. he wanted words. he needed to hear, through proper verbal communication, that you wanted this.

"yeah..." you sound almost breathless facing him, "yeah, i wanna do this."

a small smile reaches his lips before he kisses you again. more deeply, more lovingly. he was relishing in your very being. the girl who he'd pined for was finally his after fifteen long years.

the hand gripping your hip would soon spread around your waist as the other rested on the fabric covering your thigh—a fabric that he would push up in annoyance as he needed to feel you bare.

his thumb would involuntarily twitch, grazing and pushing at your cunt as he squeezed and rubbed the plush of your inner thigh, the cold pressure being felt through the sheer panties you wore had you shivering.

"zayne.." your impatience was getting the best of you and zayne could see it. he chuckles as he bunches your silky sundress up at your waist and hooks his long pointer and index fingers around the last piece of fabric that bars you from him- teasing him with the dampness that left it looking a deeper colour than usual.

before he can ask, you give him the confirmation he needs, raising your hips, "take it off... please?"

he obeys, a little too willingly as if his patience was also wearing thin, and a soft 'fuck' leaves his lips as he stares at your dripping cunt, the vulgar word shocks the both of you.

he can only chuckle as he eyes the dress straps that had fallen off your shoulder, "the things you do to me." ever so slowly, his cold hands push the straps further down, pulling your arms from out of it. your breasts were now on display for him as the dress slid down, grazing your sensitive nipples in the process and stopping at your diaphragm.

you look away, gnawing on your lip. it set a weird feeling in your stomach knowing he was fully dressed in his doctorly attire while you were bare, exposed for him to see- for him to examine. you feel his hand rest back on your cunt, the other hand grasping your chin to look at him. he wasn't overly rough but the hold was quite strong and decisive. every breath and movement from zayne exuded dominance.

"don't hide from me, pretty girl, you know better than that." the pet name has you shuddering, paired with the fact that he began to gently prod at your entrance with his index finger before allowing you to suck him in completely, his thumb softly touching your clit occasionally as he inspects you.

his lips find yours once more, his tongue prodding your mouth and you can't help but whine at the feeling as he slowly introduces another finger. with every touch from him, you feel your breath leaving and your hands gripping harshly at the edges of the tables, almost piercing your skin.

zayne eventually touches something. something that leaves you even wetter than before. his fingers prodded and rubbed at you- at that spongy spot in your cunt that's been begging to be touched by him for a while.

"oh, wait- fuck!" you break the kiss as an involuntary hiccup leaves you. zayne grunts in annoyance, pushing lips back onto yours in an instant- his fingers increasing in momentum as he targets that pleasurable spot.

you find yourself sliding off the edge of the table as your body trembles with every thrust. despite still gripping the table, you almost collapse onto your knees if not for the man in front of you catching you. all while holding you, zayne doesn't let up- the squelching sounds your wet entrance makes flood the room, fueling him to keep going. he was so hell-bent on making you cum one way or another.

"c'mon, be a good girl for me. do this one thing for me 'n i'll let you ride my face. c'mon pretty girl." you couldn't see his eyes anymore. his fringes covered them as he looked down at your cunt, taking in the lewd noises that followed with every thrust of his finger and the clear, wet mess that started to drip down your thighs.

you can't help but nod, "anyth-ing for you." the abuse on your cunt and the way his mouth kisses at your nipples and sternum were taking your breath away. he was touching at all the right spots at all the right times.

your head throws itself back as the increasing pressure builds up in your stomach and you can't help but hold his wrist in an attempt to try and push him off of you. zayne, still, is relentless in his actions but he does raise his head to read your expressions and listen to your mumbled, repetitive 'yes's affirming him of how badly you want it.

"gonna cum. gonna cum, please lemme cum." you repeat over and over again as your nails dig crescent moon shapes into your lover's lower arm.

zayne chuckles, his fingers continuing at the same pace, never ceasing, "you can come whenever you want to, lovely. your hand is what's pushing me away."

your eyes shut tightly as the orgasmic feeling washes over you, basking in the complete and utter loss of the control you have over your body. you feel your eyes roll into into the back of your head behind your lids and your mouth parts as broken, whiny moans leave your lips. your lover smiles as he feels your walls spasm, clamping around his fingers repeatedly, harmonious with the way your thighs shiver.

you come down from your high rather slowly and zayne lifts you up, helping you move closer to the couch while you try to get your eyes to focus and attempt to beat the fatigue washing over you.

"you said you wanted to ride me, hmm?" zayne hums, itching in anticipation unbeknownst to you. you nod a bit nervously as you try to catch your breath, watching as he sits down and brings you to him by your waist, bunching your dress at your hips in the process. your cunt was almost lined up with his mouth.

"zayne, wait. i think i'm still s-ensitive," you say between gasps as you feel his breath fanning out onto your clit.

a hum leaves his lips and he looks at his watch briefly, "i don't think we have that much time, my love. it'll feel good, i promise. but if you want, we can wait until later tonight?" he kisses your thigh. there was no way in hell you were going to 'wait until later tonight.' the ache in your cunt from the anticipation would be too much for you to handle.

"hmm, it's okay..." you shake your head as you whisper tiredly, the post-orgasm drowsiness hitting you hard. he smiles as he lays down, taking you by the hand and leading your body closer to his face. his hands reach up towards his glasses. daintily holding them by the frame, he slips them off his face to place them on the glass table to the side of you.

the sight makes you pout and zayne, being zayne, catches it.

"what? do you also like my glasses too?" he smirks, bringing your hips to lay on him. you nod as you hesitantly let yourself be guided onto his chest.

"and when you get too rough and you break them, what then?" he questions, sass lacing his tone while his eyes focus on your cunt, watching it drip all your cum all over his shirt. the fact that he said 'when' and not 'if' had your body twitching. still, annoyance riddles your body and you roll your eyes. he's always ten steps ahead of you.

“ugh.. you’re so…” you’re at a loss for words and zayne can’t help but smile at your reaction.

he grips your hips roughly pulling you up to his face, "hmm...that's enough banter for now. don't be shy. 'm gonna ease you into it. and yes...i'll be fine, i promise."

with the constant reassurance, you build up enough courage to sit on him and almost immediately does his tongue find your clit, occasionally tracing around your labia and prodding your entrance.

"ha— zayne. wait!" a high-pitched strangled moan leaves your lips and the man grunts under you as your body lifts itself off of him in shock. zayne feels his eyes almost roll into the back of his head as he briefly catches a glimpse of how your pretty, puffy cunt pulsates around absolutely nothing. as he comes to his senses, his arms quickly lock around your legs, bringing you back down and keeping you in your rightful place— on top of him.

your moans get louder and louder and soon enough zayne finds himself humming satisfyingly into you, sending vibrations all throughout. to hear your cries of pleasure just from this, alone? while you tasted so good? zayne was in his own icy wonderland.

"waited years for this pussy and it's finally mine." he mumbles deliriously, and you nod, "all your— hmpf, fuck, all yours." he was fucking insatiable, arms tightening around your thighs as he forced you to press further down onto him. tears start to well in your eyes.

at this rate, zayne's cock was harder than ever before and you, yourself, notice that as you lean back, palm accidentally pressing down onto his erection, touching on the bounds of both pain and pleasure for him. a soft moan leaves him as he takes his mouth off of you for a moment, thick cock throbbing with want.

"wait," he says between shallow gasps for air, "not yet. i just want to focus on you right now... can you let me do that?" you nod and he slaps your thigh, which quickly has your spurting out multiple 'yes's in an apologetic tone.

you feel your body lifting to which you whine, tears falling in thick globs as you unconsciously hump the air for some needed friction, your pussy once again clamping around nothing, as you assume some sort of punishment was about to begin.

zayne watches you amusingly. it was quite a pathetic sight- one he loved, don't get him wrong but the thoughts that flowed into his mind weren't nice— slapping your ass, pinching your thigh or edging you every time you forgot to properly address him, tears falling down your face as you apologize and pout, begging to be fucked. god, he could feel his cock twitch in his pants.

it was the first official day of dating, though, so he wanted to cut you some slack and slowly ease you into things.

he finally puts you back down- noticeably, a bit further up his face. his arms lock you back in place, preparing himself in case you decide to run away from him again.

if anything, he'll ease you into things by forcing you to fuck yourself one orgasm into the other on his face.

"ride my face. fuck yourself using my nose." those words have your cunt spasming as you don't hesitate to listen to him.

your body jerks slowly as you ground down on him, his tall nose repeatedly tapping and prodding at your clit. zayne doesn't hesitate to continue his past ministrations, his tongue flat against you, sliding across your folds with every thrust from you.

"z-zayne. fuck." you moan as you grip the couch's arm for dear life, your body unconsciously speeding up as you look at the boy beneath you sitting so still and pretty for you with his eye half-lidded as his mouth softly parted. and, of course, the stimulation from his nose was just not helping.

zayne was drenched, soaked with your juices and he wouldn't let up. air lessened with each breath for him but he didn't care. in fact, he pushed his head further up into you. he loved it. he loved drowning in you.

"would love to have you sit on my face more often," he murmurs to himself as he feels your fingers entangle themselves in his hair, thighs locking and trembling around his head from the vibrations. zayne pushes his head up into your cunt even further, the hump on his hose throwing you for a loop.

"zayne. zay—fuck, fuck. oh, god!" you just couldn't get his name out of your mouth. it's as if he was currently conditioning you to focus on him— to know only him in this moment. he smiles, "it's alright, you can cum, baby. no one's stopping you. get off on my nose and mouth, baby. that's it." the sounds his face created with your pussy were oh, so lewd. it filled the entire room as your physician acted like you were a cup of fresh water waiting for him after he stayed in the sahara for a little too long.

soft whimpers leave your lips as you feel yourself sobbing. the pressure building up was too intense.

"come on, give it to me." the man under you grunts as he feels his dick twitch incessantly. no matter how badly he wanted to, zayne just couldn't resist palming himself. his tongue continues to fuck you sloppily, relishing in the act as he lapped up the savoury, dripping cum from you and spit from him like a dog. all while he played with your nipples, either groping, slightly grazing, or circling them. you name it.

you feel your legs thrash as a loud moan rips from your throat before you even realize what's coming. your body can't stop shaking and all you see is white yet zayne doesn't stop eating you out, his lips now encircling your clit and as he grips your legs even stronger, forcing you to relish in the harsh suction and vibrations as he moans along with you from the sight of you before him.

you squirt all over him, short bursts leaving your cunt to shower the man under you. the shock and embarrassment don't even last long as a gasp in pleasure leaves you- zayne was still on you, eyes closed as he lapped up every last drop you had offered him. he realized you came, his dick leaking pre-cum and twitching from the fact, but never truly processed it, fucking you through your orgasm and into the next one while not taking into account your sensitivity. you had no time to catch your breath.

"h—hey. wait... zayne!" you squirm. he hums unconsciously as he digs himself further into your cunt, overstimulating you with the flicks of his tongue. it's as if he can't stop. it's as if can't hear you. or maybe he just doesn't want to hear you.

"no more! hmphf— shit!" you repeatedly tap his shoulder as you continue to shake, your hips unconsciously still grinding into his face while your upper body rocks with sensitivity, nipples harder than ever and goosebumps riddling your skin. your thighs were practically squeezing his head now.

"one more for me baby, one more. please. just one more for me." zayne murmurs as he gasps for air. he looks as if he's lost his mind. his hair is dishevelled, with some parts of his fringes sticking up while the rest just barely covers his eyes. he really looks like a pervert that came straight out of a hentai in the moment. it was quite a sight.

the longer you stare, the more he looks blurry- your vision was becoming obscured, your senses simultaneously heightening as a result while the pressure in your tummy begins to build once more.

"hng— zayne, 'm gonna cum!" you sob, voice booming throughout the entire office as you feel yourself twitch, overstimulation ravaging your body. zayne's nails dig further into your hips, breaking skin, and the sharp pain allows you to finally let go. your back arches as your orgasm engulfs you, cum squirting out of you in bursts smaller yet more powerful than earlier.

"oh fuck—" a low, cracked whine leaves your boyfriend, his neck arching as he struggles to contain himself from quivering. his body shudders as he gently kisses your cunt and thighs. a fucked out look paints his face as he tries to catch his breath, his hand softly rubbing your waist in an attempt to calm you— and himself— down as he feels unusually lightheaded.

silence follows for a bit as you come down from your high and push yourself off of your lover's face who seemed very quiet—and not the usual quiet. there was something different about the air. hesitantly, you sit on his chest.

"zayne," you whisper nervously, "are you okay?"

zayne clears his throat, blinking harshly at the ceiling with his chest still heaving as his ears and cheeks are dusted red- his pretty mouth red, swollen and glistening with you. he swallows, avoiding eye contact with you as he tries to collect himself. you've never seen him like this... so shy, so embarrassed.

the silence that follows as your question goes unanswered causes anxiety to riddle through you, "did i do something wron-" "no," he interrupts not wanting to upset you in any way, "just... a minor miscalculation."

feeling relaxed, you push yourself down further onto his waist in an attempt to lay on top of him, "a minor miscalculation? what-"

oh.

you're shocked... and flattered as you feel a deeply soaked wet spot on his pants.

"i was too distracted and forgot about resisting my orgasm," he murmurs, not making eye contact. you smile, "hmm, i can tell. but don't be embarrassed, zayne. i find it a little hot... well, very hot." you chuckle. the reassurance was nice but, truth be told, he wanted his first load with you to be inside your glistening cunt, with you begging and pleading with him to give it to you, just like in his dreams.

one side of his lip curls up slightly, "i still can't believe i orgasmed untouched. though, this is my first time so i suppose it's not unusual."

just as you're about to lay on his chest, your body jerks upwards, "wait, what? you're a virgin, too? how'd you even know to do all th-"

"human anatomy," he interrupts, "being a surgeon, your physician and your boyfriend- it's quite necessary. and though i don't watch, a common assumption would be pornography."

embarrassment riddles your face and you mentally berate yourself for asking a stupid question as he kisses you, "... and i may have read some forums." his tone was soft and wispy, almost slipping past your ears. curiosity runs through you as you look up past his head at the computer. oh, that search history needed to be investigated.

"don't even think about it. i have a computer for work and another for personal use." he rolls his eyes.

gently, he lifts you from his waist and places you onto the couch just as he rises from it. he begins unbuttoning the cuffs of his dress shirt, wiping your cum residue from off his face onto the sleeves, "relax a bit. you need to come down from your high. we shouldn't miss the reservation if we leave in a minute... or three."

"wait, what about your work?"

zayne stops untying his tie to look at you. his head tilts and his eyebrow raises in the most comical way possible as if to say 'you can't be serious right now.'

"okay, fair. and.. your clothes? do you have an extra pair?" the moment you close your mouth you see zayne open a large closet filled with various button-ups and dress pants for varying occasions. as you take a closer look, you notice that they're organized by gradient and paired. not a single piece of clothing was out of place.

it was your turn to give him 'the look' as you scanned the closet before pointing at a paired outfit, a black turtleneck with matching dress pants. looking in that direction, zayne nods, taking the clothes from out the storage unit and undressing himself.

you feel your cheeks warm as you catch a glimpse of his bare back. you have yet to see him undressed and, to be honest, you don't want it to be now considering the two of you had plans after dinner. the sooner you fix your clothes the faster that time will arrive so that's what you do.

looking away, you notice something is missing- your panties. you quietly search for your underwear and it's nowhere to be seen. you scan the concrete floor and the velvet couches before directing your attention to the akso employee, only to catch him pushing sheer material into his pocket in silence just as you were about to query the fabric's whereabouts.

the two of you make eye contact once more. his face holds no emotion but he does turn around rather quickly, blush blooming at his ears once again as he looks at his computer before closing it and gathering the rest of his belongings.

note(s)💀. no one can come for me about the dorsal hump cause i found someone that happens to think the same thoughts as me! also i just finished day 2 of the valentine event??? zayne may have a sensitive neck ??? or am i just delusional??? + fav zayne edit if u care😼 also if i forgot something in the warnings plz dont hesitate to tell me! + i would love constructive crisitism just be nice abeg.

#i need some rum after this #and a nap #love and deepspace #zayne love and deepspace #zayne x reader #love and deepspace smut #l&ds #love & deepspace #lads #love & deepsace x reader #love and deepspace zayne #l&ds smut #l&ds x reader #l&ds zayne #lads zayne #zayne x mc #zayne smut

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stylesispunk · 1 month ago

Text

Silent Strain | part v

Outbreak!Joel Miller x f! reader

previous chapter | next chapter

summary: Joel's return came along with some demons following behind and secrets he doesn't want to confess.

w.c: 14k.

Warnings: angst, Joel acts a little dumb during this chapter, fluff, allusions to smut at the end, not proofreading.

a/n: the original chapter was deleted from my laptop and I had to rewrite it again. I didn't remember everything so this one was a bit more dramatic than the original, cuz your writer here was dumped yesterday (💀) besides I wanted to focus on their reunion. The next one is going to be better I promise and Joel is going to behave better🤞✨ thank you so much for your support. Reblogs and comments are always appreciated 💌

dividers by @/saradika-graphics

“I’m sorry,” Joel whispered, his voice rough with emotion. “I’m so damn sorry. I never wanted to leave you—never wanted to hurt you.”

You pulled back just enough to look up at him, your gaze meeting his. His eyes, usually so guarded, were filled with an overwhelming sorrow and love that made your heart clench. He lifted a hand to cup your face, his thumb gently wiping away your tears.

“I didn’t know what else to do,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “I thought… I thought I doing what was right. But I know I hurt you”

You nodded, unable to form words, your emotions too raw, too tangled. But you could see it now, the regret, the pain he carried just as heavily as you had. And while the hurt of him leaving still lingered, there was something else too, something stronger: the undeniable bond between you, the love that had survived despite everything.

Joel leaned down, pressing his forehead against yours, his breath warm and shaky. “I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere, I swear.”

For the first time in what felt like an eternity, you let yourself believe it. You closed your eyes, breathing in the familiar scent of him, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest against yours.

As you pulled away from Joel's embrace, your eyes fell on Ellie. She stood awkwardly by the door, her arms crossed over her chest, her face shadowed with guilt. She glanced up at you timidly, as if unsure of her place in all of this. Her usually tough exterior seemed to crumble in that moment, revealing the vulnerable girl beneath.

You could see it in her eyes—the weight she carried, the guilt, the fear that maybe she had been part of the reason Joel left, that she had put him in danger that she had separated Joel from you, that somehow this was her fault. But you couldn’t let her believe that. Ellie had been through enough already, and the last thing you wanted was for her to feel like she didn’t belong like she wasn’t part of your family.

Without a second thought, you walked over to her, your steps steady and sure. She blinked, clearly taken off guard, her eyes widening slightly as you reached her. Before she could say anything, you pulled her into a tight embrace, wrapping your arms around her in the same way you had with Joel. You felt her stiffen at first, uncertain, but then she relaxed into the hug, her small frame leaning into yours.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” you whispered, your voice soft but filled with sincerity.

Ellie didn’t say anything at first, but you felt her arms slowly lift to return the embrace, her fingers clutching the fabric of your shirt like she was holding on for dear life. Her breath hitched slightly, and you could tell she was trying not to cry, to hold onto her usual tough façade. But in that moment, it didn’t matter. She needed to know she was safe, that she was loved.

When you finally pulled back, you kept your hands on her shoulders, looking her in the eye. “It’s not your fault,” you said firmly, wanting her to understand that.

She swallowed hard, her gaze flicking to the floor. “I—I thought you would hate me,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “I thought I… messed everything up.”

“You didn’t,” you reassured her, your voice gentle but steady. “You brought him. You both made it back, and that’s what matters. We’re together now.”

Ellie nodded slowly, though the guilt still lingered in her eyes. But there was a flicker of relief too, a small spark of hope that she wasn’t alone in this, that she didn’t have to carry the burden by herself anymore.

Ellie’s eyes shifted down to your abdomen, where your once swollen belly was now gone, her brows furrowing in confusion. “Where’s the baby?” she asked, her voice quiet but filled with curiosity, almost as if she wasn’t sure how to ask the question.

You smiled gently, the warmth of the moment settling in as you glanced toward the bedroom’s door. “She’s sleeping now,” you answered softly, a deep sense of pride and tenderness filling your chest.

“She?” Joel’s voice cut through the quiet, and you turned to see him staring at you with wide eyes, his expression a mixture of awe and disbelief. “A baby girl?”

You nodded, your eyes softening as you looked at him. “Yeah… a baby girl. Rosie.”

For a moment, Joel didn’t move, his eyes flicking between you and the door to the bedroom where his daughter was sleeping, as though he was trying to wrap his mind around the reality of it. His baby girl. The emotions that flickered across his face—joy, relief, maybe even a little fear—were unmistakable.

“She’s beautiful, Joel,” you said quietly, watching as his eyes grew glassy.

Joel swallowed hard, trying to keep his emotions in check, but it was clear that the weight of the moment was sinking in. He blinked a few times, as if still trying to comprehend what you had said. “Rosie…” he whispered, the name sounding foreign but perfect on his lips. He nodded slowly, as if saying it aloud made it more real. “Can I see her?” he asked.

Joel’s gaze softened, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. The man who had once been hardened by loss and pain now stood before you, vulnerable and overwhelmed by the love he had found again. “I… I need to see her,” he finally managed, his voice thick with emotion.

You smiled, your heart swelling at his tenderness. “Go ahead. She’s waiting for you.”

Joel hesitated for a second, as if afraid to move, but then slowly made his way toward the bedroom door. Ellie stayed back, watching the exchange with a faint smile, but there was still something distant in her gaze. You gave her a reassuring look, hoping to bridge the gap that seemed to have formed between you all since they had returned.

When Joel disappeared into the room, you turned your attention back to Ellie. “You did the right thing, Ellie. You brought him back.”

Ellie shifted uncomfortably, running a hand through her hair. “I don’t know… it doesn’t feel like it.”

You stepped closer to her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. “You did. We’re here now, because of you. And Rosie’s going to need you too.”

Ellie’s eyes softened, the guilt still lingering, but she nodded slowly. “I’ll try,” she muttered, her voice barely above a whisper.

You gave Ellie a soft smile, sensing the weight of everything she had gone through. “Come on,” you said, your voice gentle. “Let’s go see Rosie together.”

Ellie looked at you hesitantly, her brow furrowing as if she wasn’t sure whether she should join, but you could see the curiosity in her eyes. You reached out your hand, offering her the choice. “She’s part of you too, Ellie. You’ve been with us through everything.”

After a moment’s pause, Ellie slowly placed her hand in yours, the corners of her lips lifting into a tentative smile. You led her toward the bedroom where Joel was standing over Rosie’s crib, his hand softly resting on her tiny back as she slept. He glanced up when the two of you entered, his eyes warm and full of emotion, but they softened even more when he saw Ellie.

“She’s real tiny,” Ellie muttered under her breath, taking cautious steps toward the crib. She peered down at Rosie, her eyes widening as if she couldn’t believe the sight in front of her.

“She is,” Joel whispered, his voice filled with awe. He glanced at you, his expression still laced with wonder.

Ellie stood beside Joel, looking down at Rosie with a mixture of fascination and uncertainty. “I’ve never seen a baby this close before,” she admitted quietly, her hand twitching a little as if she wanted to reach out but wasn’t sure if she should.

You gave her a reassuring nod. “You can touch her, Ellie. She’s stronger than she looks.”

Ellie hesitated for a moment before gently placing her hand on Rosie’s small, delicate arm. Rosie shifted in her sleep but didn’t wake, her tiny fingers curling slightly at the warmth of Ellie’s touch. Ellie’s eyes softened even more, and for a moment, she just stood there, her expression almost unreadable, but you knew there was a flicker of something new—a sense of connection.

“She’s… warm,” Ellie whispered, her voice barely audible. There was a tenderness in her gaze now, something you hadn’t seen in a long time, and it made your heart swell.

Joel wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you close as you watched Ellie bond with Rosie. The three of you stood there, sharing a quiet moment that felt sacred, a moment where everything—despite the hardships, the losses, and the uncertainty—seemed to fall into place.

Joel’s gaze shifted from Rosie to you, his arm tightening around your waist as he pulled you even closer. The softness in his eyes made your heart flutter—there was love there, deep and unwavering, but also gratitude. He looked at you as if he couldn’t believe everything that had come to pass, how the three of you were here, together, in this moment.

“You,” he whispered, his voice rough but tender, “you’ve given me everything.”

His words hit you like a wave, and you felt the emotion rising in your chest. You turned to face him fully, your hands resting gently on his chest as you met his gaze. “Joel…”

Before you could say anything more, he cupped your face in his hands, his thumbs gently brushing your cheeks. “I don’t think I ever believed I’d have this again,” he admitted, his voice low, full of reverence. “A family.”

Your heart swelled, the weight of his words sinking in. The years of survival, of pain, and of loss had hardened Joel in so many ways, but here he was—vulnerable, open, and holding on to the life you had built together.

“We are a family,” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. “You, me, Ellie, and Rosie. We’re a family, Joel.”

Joel’s lips twitched into a soft smile as he pulled you closer, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I’m never lettin’ this go. I swear.”

The warmth of his touch, the steady beat of his heart under your hands—it all made you feel safe, anchored in a world that had once felt like it was always slipping away. You tilted your head up, meeting his lips in a soft kiss, a promise shared between the two of you, wordless but understood.

Ellie, sensing the intimacy of the moment, quietly stepped back from Rosie’s crib and gave the two of you space. She glanced back at Rosie with a small smile before slipping out of the room, leaving you and Joel alone in the soft morning light.

Joel kissed you again, slower this time, his lips lingering against yours as if he needed to savor the feeling. When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours. “Thank you,” he murmured, his breath warm against your skin. “For all of this.”

The afternoon passed by quietly, the atmosphere shifting slightly as the day wore on. Joel hadn’t explained much about the thin cut on his neck, and though it didn’t look too serious, it was enough to keep you glancing at him, worry bubbling beneath the surface. Every time you caught his eye, he brushed it off, offering a small smile as if to say it was nothing.

But Ellie had noticed it too, and her mood shifted. She grew more silent, retreating into herself in a way that made the room feel heavier. The unspoken tension lingered between the three of you, subtle but present.

Tommy stopped by for a moment, stepping through the door with a light knock. He exchanged a few words with Joel, his eyes flicking between the two of you as if sensing something wasn’t quite right. You tried to keep things normal, making small talk with Tommy about the day, but even he seemed to feel the undercurrent of unease.

When Tommy left, the silence settled in again, more noticeable this time. You looked between Joel and Ellie, feeling the weight of whatever was unspoken, and decided to break the tension the only way you knew how.

“I’ll make us something to eat,” you offered, your voice light as you stood from the couch. “How about some soup? We could all use something warm.”

But Ellie shook her head, her eyes downcast. “I’m not really hungry,” she muttered, her voice low, almost detached.

You glanced at Joel, who shot you a quick look of concern. He cleared his throat, trying to ease the tension. “You should eat, kid. We’ve been on the road for a long time. Ain’t good to go too long without a meal.”

Ellie shrugged, not looking up. “I’m fine,” she said, but there was an edge to her tone, like something was bothering her. Something she wasn’t saying.

Joel frowned, but didn’t push. You could see the worry in his eyes, though—he didn’t like this silence from Ellie any more than you did. You gave her a soft look, stepping closer to where she sat.

“Ellie, if something’s on your mind, you can talk to me,” you said gently, trying to draw her out of the shell she was retreating into.

She glanced up at you, her expression tight, but didn’t respond. Instead, she shifted on the couch and crossed her arms, staring at the floor.

The room felt tense again, and you exchanged another glance with Joel. He reached out, rubbing the back of his neck, where the cut still seemed to be bothering him. You couldn’t help but feel that whatever had happened out there—on their journey back—was still casting a shadow over them both.

Sighing softly, you stepped back towards the kitchen. “I’ll make something small, just in case you change your mind,” you said, your voice quieter now.

As you moved to prepare the food, you couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to the silence than just hunger or exhaustion. You knew Ellie had been through something on the road with Joel, something that neither of them had fully opened up about yet. And it hung in the air, like a storm cloud waiting to break.

You paused in the doorway of the kitchen, glancing back at Ellie. The heaviness in the air was hard to ignore, but you tried to push past it. “I’ll just whip up something light,” you began, hoping it might help ease the tension.

But before you could take another step, Ellie’s voice cut through the quiet. “No,” she said abruptly, her tone sharper than you expected. She pushed herself up from the couch, her movements quick and tense. “I’m just gonna… go to bed,” she muttered, avoiding eye contact as she made her way towards the bedroom.

You exchanged a quick look with Joel, his brow furrowed as he watched Ellie’s retreating form. Neither of you said anything, but the worry was evident in his eyes. Something was wrong.

Ellie paused at the door to the bedroom, her hand lingering on the handle as if she wanted to say more, but whatever words she had were swallowed by the silence. She opened the door and slipped inside, closing it softly behind her.

You stood there for a moment, feeling the weight of her absence in the room, the quiet settling in again, even more oppressive now that she was gone. The silence between you and Joel felt loaded, like both of you knew there were things left unsaid, but neither of you knew where to start.

Joel let out a long breath, rubbing the back of his neck again, his fingers brushing the cut there. You moved closer to him, your eyes drawn to the mark on his skin. “You still haven’t told me what happened,” you said softly, your gaze meeting his.

He looked away for a moment, as if gathering his thoughts, before finally speaking. “It ain’t important,” he said gruffly, but the way he avoided your eyes told you otherwise.

You gently reached for his hand, your fingers brushing his. “Joel… please.”

He sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping a little as he looked at you. There was a flicker of pain in his eyes, a heaviness he couldn’t quite shake. “We ran into some trouble on the way back,” he admitted, his voice low. “Got separated for a bit, and… things got rough.”

You frowned, your heart tightening with worry. “Separated? How bad was it?”

Joel hesitated, his jaw clenching slightly. “Bad enough,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. He glanced towards the bedroom door, where Ellie had disappeared. “She blames herself for a lot of it… thinks she didn’t do enough.”

You sighed, your heart aching for Ellie. “She’s just a kid, Joel. She carries too much already.”

He nodded, the guilt in his eyes unmistakable. “I know. But try tellin’ her that.” He rubbed a hand over his face, exhaustion clear in his posture.

You reached up, brushing a thumb over the cut on his neck. “And this?”

Joel shrugged slightly, as if trying to play it off. “It’s nothin’. Just a scrape.”

You gave him a pointed look, knowing there was more to it than he was letting on, but you also knew better than to push him too hard. Not right now. “You should rest too,” you said quietly, your hand still resting on his arm.

Joel looked at you for a long moment, his gaze softening. “Yeah,” he agreed, though his eyes kept flicking back to the closed bedroom door, the weight of everything still hanging between you both.

You stepped closer, wrapping your arms around him gently, offering him the comfort he wouldn’t ask for but clearly needed. He held you close, his grip a little tighter than usual, as if grounding himself in the moment.

The room was quiet, save for the soft creak of the floorboards as you swayed gently back and forth, cradling Rosie in your arms. Her tiny breaths were slow and even, her little face peaceful as she slept against your chest. The warmth of her body, the softness of her skin—it all made the world outside seem far away for a moment.

You hadn’t noticed Joel standing in the doorway, his presence silent but heavy. He watched you, his expression unreadable, a strange mix of emotions flickering across his face. There was something in his eyes—something you couldn’t quite place—that hadn’t been there before their return. A shadow that lingered, clinging to him like a weight he couldn’t shake.

As you continued to rock Rosie gently, you felt a subtle shift in the air, a tension that hadn’t been there before. It was as if whatever they had been through out there hadn’t just stayed outside the walls of your home—it had seeped in, affecting everything. You could feel it in Joel’s silence, in the way Ellie had shut down, in the way Joel’s hand kept rubbing the back of his neck as if the cut there was more than just a physical wound.

You gently lowered Rosie into her crib, your movements careful, as though you could shield her from the unease that had crept into your home. Her tiny body shifted for a moment before she settled back into sleep, completely unaware of the turmoil that seemed to swirl around her.

When you finally turned, you saw Joel standing there, his hand resting on the doorframe. His gaze was fixed on you, but he didn’t say anything. He just stood there, watching, his face a mask of quiet contemplation.

“Joel?” you asked softly, taking a step toward him.

He blinked, as if snapping out of a trance, his eyes flicking away from you. “Didn’t mean to disturb you,” he muttered, his voice low.

“You weren’t,” you replied, your voice just as soft. “Is everything okay?”

Joel didn’t answer right away. He stepped into the room a little further, his gaze landing on Rosie in the crib. His face softened for a moment, but that strange tension still lingered. “I don’t know,” he admitted finally, his voice quiet and unsure, something that didn’t sit right with you.

You walked up to him, close enough to place a gentle hand on his arm. “Whatever it is, we can talk about it, Joel. You don’t have to carry it all alone.”

He looked down at you, his jaw tightening slightly. There was a flicker of hesitation in his eyes, as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t bring himself to. “No…I just wanted to say goodnight to the both of you.”

“What do you mean?” you asked, almost whispering “Aren’t you sleeping here?”

“I thought you didn’t want me to.” He said, and the way and the voice you wanted to hear almost seemed to break you.

Joel’s words hit you like a punch to the gut, and for a moment, you were speechless. The vulnerability in his voice, the way he spoke as though he believed he was no longer welcome here, made your heart ache.

You stepped closer, your hand still resting on his arm, this time with a firmer grip, as though you were afraid he might slip away. “What?” you whispered, your voice shaking slightly. “Why would you think that?”

Joel’s eyes flicked down, avoiding yours, his jaw clenched tightly. “After… everything. Thought maybe you’d want some space,” he muttered, his voice rougher now, as though forcing out the words was difficult for him.

His insecurity broke something inside you. This man, who had carried so much for so long, was now standing in front of you, so unsure of where he stood, and it was almost unbearable.

“Joel,” you said softly, lifting your hand to his cheek, trying to get him to look at you. “I spent all this time missing you, how could you think that?”

Joel finally looked up at you, his eyes softening just enough for you to see the flicker of doubt that had settled deep inside him. “I know you missed me,” he said quietly, his voice still rough but tinged with the slightest trace of vulnerability. “But missin’ someone and wantin’ them back after what they’ve done… those are two different things.”

Your heart ached at his words. “Joel, don’t you understand?” you whispered, stepping closer to him, your hand still resting on his cheek. “I missed you. The real you. The man who keeps me safe, the one who’s always been there, no matter what.”

He swallowed hard, his gaze searching your face as if trying to find the truth in your words. “You don’t know what I’ve done,” he said softly, almost as if he were confessing. “Out there, with Ellie… I didn’t know if I could come back from it.”

His words hung heavy between you, and you could feel the weight of everything he wasn’t saying—everything he believed he had to carry on his own. But you weren’t going to let him carry it alone anymore.

“I don’t care what happened out there,” you said firmly, shaking your head. “Whatever you did, whatever choices you had to make to keep Ellie safe, to come back to me… it doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

Joel’s jaw tightened again, but this time, it wasn’t out of anger or frustration—it was the struggle of holding back the emotion threatening to overwhelm him. “How can you still say that? After all this?” he rasped, his voice thick.

“Because I love you, Joel,” you said, your voice breaking as you spoke the words you hadn’t said in so long. “And nothing will ever change that.”

For a moment, he just stared at you, his eyes filled with a mixture of disbelief and something else—something deeper, more profound. Then, slowly, he let out a shaky breath, his shoulders slumping slightly as though the weight of his guilt was beginning to ease, just a little.

Without saying a word, Joel pulled you into his arms, holding you tight against his chest. You felt the tension in his body, the way he seemed to be holding on as if you were the only thing keeping him steady.

“I don’t deserve you,” he whispered into your hair, his voice barely audible.

“You deserve everything,” you murmured back, your heart full as you held onto him just as tightly. “Everything, Joel.”

The two of you stood there for what felt like an eternity, wrapped in each other’s warmth, neither wanting to let go. Eventually, Joel loosened his grip, pulling back just enough to look at you. His eyes were still soft, but the weight of all that he had carried was visible in the dark circles under them. You traced a finger along his jawline, feeling the roughness of his stubble, a small smile tugging at your lips despite the heaviness of the moment.

“Let’s get some rest,” you said quietly, your hand sliding down to take his. Joel nodded, and together you climbed into bed, the weight of everything still lingering, but with the promise that you weren’t alone anymore. As you settled under the blankets, Joel wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close, his warmth grounding you.

You both fell asleep for the first time in months with a sense of peace.

Hours later, you stirred, feeling the coolness of the sheets beside you. Your hand instinctively reached out, searching for Joel, but the space next to you was empty. Groggily, you opened your eyes, glancing around the room. The soft moonlight streaming through the window cast shadows across the bed, and that familiar sense of panic began to rise in your chest.

You sat up, the dim room spinning for a moment before you steadied yourself. Rosie’s crib was empty, too. Your heart raced as your mind immediately went to the worst possible scenarios, a habit you'd developed in this unforgiving world.

“Joel?” you whispered into the quiet, your voice cracking.

Pushing back the blankets, you swung your legs over the edge of the bed and stood up, your body tense with fear. You listened for any sound—a cry, a murmur—but the house was eerily silent. Barefoot, you padded towards the door, your pulse hammering in your ears. You stepped out into the hallway, your senses heightened, trying to catch any sign of movement.

Then, as you reached the end of the hallway, you saw them.

Joel was sitting in the old rocking chair near the window, cradling Rosie in his arms. The soft creak of the chair rocked in rhythm with his gentle humming, a melody so faint you could barely make it out. Rosie’s tiny face was nestled against Joel’s chest, her tiny fingers clutching at his shirt. Her eyes were closed, her small body relaxed in his strong arms.

The sight of them together made the panic that had gripped you slowly melt away, replaced by a deep, overwhelming tenderness.

Joel’s back was to you, but as if sensing your presence, he turned his head slightly, catching your gaze in the moonlight. His eyes softened when he saw you standing there, his lips parting as if to apologize.

“She woke up,” he whispered, his voice low and raspy in the stillness of the night. “Didn’t want to wake you, so I brought her out here.”

You stepped closer, your breath evening out now that you knew everything was okay. "You didn’t have to," you murmured softly, kneeling beside the chair so you were level with them. Your hand reached out to gently brush Rosie’s soft hair, the steady rise and fall of her breathing soothing your own nerves.

Joel shook his head, his gaze dropping back to Rosie. “I wanted to,” he admitted quietly, his voice thick with emotion. “I’m obsessed with her. She is so beautiful”

His words hung in the air, and for a moment, all the fear, all the guilt he had carried for months seemed to dissolve in the quiet of this simple, intimate moment.

You leaned your head against Joel’s arm, taking in the warmth of him, the scent of Rosie’s baby skin. It wasn’t just about surviving anymore. It was about moments like this, holding on to the people you loved, no matter how broken the world outside was.

“She is” you replied, “You know, since she was born, I spent nights without finding myself able to sleep.” You low your gaze to Rosie, “I couldn’t. I was alone and I was scared something could ever happen to her. I needed to stay awake and make sure she was breathing”

Joel listened to you, but his heart broke a little inside, he had left you behind all this time when you needed him the most. Just when you have started your motherhood.

Joel’s chest tightened at your words, the weight of his absence settling heavily on his shoulders. He looked down at Rosie, the tiny bundle of innocence cradled in his arms, and the guilt surged through him once more. You had been alone during some of the most vulnerable moments of your life, forced to navigate the terrifying responsibility of motherhood in a world that had already taken so much from both of you.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, his voice barely audible, thick with regret. His gaze remained fixed on Rosie, his thumb gently stroking her soft cheek. “I should’ve been here. I should’ve been by your side. You shouldn’t have had to go through any of that alone.”

You could hear the pain in his voice, the anguish of a man who felt he had failed the people he loved most. It wasn’t his fault. You knew that. The world had forced his hand—forced him into impossible choices, and you had never blamed him for leaving. But hearing him say those words still made your heart ache.

“It wasn’t your fault, Joel,” you said softly, your hand reaching for his. “I know why you had to go with Ellie. I know you didn’t have a choice.”

Joel’s jaw clenched, his face hardening for a moment as if he were wrestling with the weight of everything he had done—everything he had seen. His eyes flicked back to yours, and you could see the vulnerability there, the raw emotion he rarely let anyone see.

“I still should’ve been here,” he repeated, his voice rough. “I should’ve found a way.”

You gave his hand a gentle squeeze, trying to ease the guilt that was eating away at him. “You’re here now,” you said quietly, your voice full of understanding. “That’s what matters.”

Joel nodded, but you could tell he was still struggling to accept that. His gaze fell back to Rosie, his expression softening as he watched her sleep so peacefully, oblivious to the storm of emotions swirling around her parents.

“She’s everything,” Joel murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve never seen anything more beautiful in my life.” He smiled and looked at you for a moment “Well, after you.”

A warmth spread through you at Joel’s words, his soft smile disarming in a way that always managed to pull you in, no matter the weight of the world outside. You felt a flush rise to your cheeks, but you couldn’t help the smile that tugged at your lips. In moments like this, it was easy to forget the pain, the loss, and everything you had both endured to get here.

“Well,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper as your fingers gently brushed Rosie’s tiny hand, “you have good taste.”

Joel chuckled softly, the sound low and comforting. It was rare to hear him laugh these days, and when it happened, it felt like a small victory against the darkness that so often consumed him. He looked at you again, his eyes full of affection, and for a brief moment, the guilt and weight he carried seemed to ease.

“You both deserve better,” he said quietly, the smile fading just a little, as the seriousness returned to his voice. “I’m gonna do everything I can to make sure you have it.”

You shook your head slightly, your hand still resting on his arm. “Joel, you’ve already given us everything that matters. We’re here, together. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

His eyes softened at your words, and he swallowed hard, as if trying to push down the emotion that threatened to overwhelm him. “I don’t know how you do it,” he whispered, almost as if he were speaking to himself. “How you still see good in me after everything I’ve done.”

You leaned in closer, your hand moving to cup his cheek, guiding his gaze back to yours. “Because I know who you are, Joel. I know your heart. Everything you’ve done.

He let out a long breath, his jaw tightening for a moment before relaxing under your touch. “I hope you’re right,” he murmured, his eyes searching yours as if seeking reassurance.

“I am,” you said firmly, your thumb gently stroking his cheek. “You’re a good man, Joel. Rosie and I are lucky to have you.”

For a moment, he just looked at you, the flicker of doubt in his eyes slowly giving way to something softer, something more certain. He leaned in and kissed you, his lips gentle but full of emotion, as though trying to convey everything he couldn’t say with words.

When he pulled back, there was a quiet resolve in his eyes. “I’ll never stop tryin’ to be better for you. For her.”

“You already are,” you whispered, your heart full as you rested your forehead against his.

In the quiet of the night, with Rosie’s steady breathing filling the space between you, it felt like—despite everything—the world had given you something precious. Something worth fighting for.

The next morning, sunlight filtered through the small window of your bedroom, casting a warm glow over the room. The remnants of last night's conversation lingered in the air, but today felt different—lighter somehow. There was a sense of normalcy that hadn't been present for months.

You woke up to the sound of soft baby coos coming from Rosie’s crib. Blinking your eyes open, you smiled as you watched her tiny hands wave in the air, her chubby cheeks flushed with the early morning light. She was your world, and seeing her safe and content filled you with a quiet peace.

Joel stirred beside you, his arm still loosely wrapped around your waist. It was rare for him to sleep in this late, but after everything, it was no surprise he needed the rest. You gently slipped out from under his arm, careful not to wake him, and padded over to Rosie. Her wide eyes looked up at you as you picked her up, her little body warm and soft against yours.

“Good morning, baby girl,” you whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead. She gurgled in response, her hands reaching for your face, and you couldn’t help but laugh softly.

You took your time feeding her, sitting by the window and watching the town of Jackson slowly come to life. The quiet streets were starting to bustle with activity as people moved about, tending to their duties within the community. It still amazed you sometimes—the sense of order and peace here, despite everything the world had become.

Jackson had become home, and though the scars of the past were still healing, there was a strange comfort in the routine of it all. Maria had been incredibly kind, offering you a place in the community and even helping you when Rosie was born. She had become a friend, and in many ways, a guiding force in these new chapters of your life.

As you dressed Rosie for the day, Joel finally stirred from the bed, sitting up with a groan. He rubbed his eyes, still clearly tired, but there was a soft smile on his face when he looked over at you and Rosie.

“Mornin',” he said, his voice rough from sleep.

“Morning,” you replied, walking over with Rosie in your arms. Joel reached out, gently taking her from you, and held her close, pressing a kiss to her tiny head. You watched as his entire demeanor softened in her presence, the way it always did. He’d always been protective, but since he returned, there was something deeper, a sense of devotion that went beyond just survival.

“You sleep, okay?” you asked, sitting down beside him.

“Yeah,” he said, nodding. “Better than I have in a while.”

You smiled at that, glad that he was finally starting to find some peace. “Good.”

Joel shifted his focus back to Rosie, his fingers tracing little patterns on her arm. “Ellie’s probably out there already,” he muttered, glancing towards the window. “Kid doesn’t know how to take it easy.”

You chuckled softly. “That’s Ellie for you.”

After a few more moments of quiet, Joel handed Rosie back to you and stood, stretching his arms with a grunt. “I’ll go find her, make sure she’s not causing too much trouble.”

You smiled at him, watching as he pulled on his boots and threw on his jacket. Before leaving, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “I’ll see you later,” he murmured.

“See you,” you replied, watching him disappear out the door.

Just as Joel reached for the door, ready to head out, a sharp knock echoed through the small house. His hand froze on the doorknob, and he exchanged a quick glance with you, his brows furrowed in slight confusion. It was early, and few people usually came by without warning.

Joel opened the door cautiously, his posture tense, ready for anything—old habits that hadn’t quite left him despite the relative safety of Jackson. Standing on the other side of the threshold was a man Joel hadn’t seen before—tall, with a calm but confident demeanor. He was holding a bag slung over his shoulder, the kind you’d expect a doctor to carry.

Joel’s eyes narrowed. “Who are you?” he asked, his voice guarded, suspicion still lacing his tone even though the man seemed harmless enough.

The stranger smiled politely, though there was a flicker of recognition in his eyes. He glanced over Joel’s shoulder for a moment before responding. “We didn’t have the chance to meet before you left,” he said, his voice calm but measured. “I’m Paul. I’m the doctor here. Helped deliver Rosie while you were… gone.”

At the mention of Rosie, Joel’s expression shifted, though his guarded stance didn’t relax completely. The words carried weight, and though Paul’s tone was professional, Joel didn’t miss the subtle undertone that lingered in the air—one that said Paul had been there, playing a part in your life during his absence.

Before Joel could say anything, you appeared behind him, Rosie still nestled against your chest in the sling. Paul’s eyes flicked toward you, his expression softening for a moment, but the tension between you two was palpable. Your shoulders stiffened, your demeanor guarded and cool, the remnants of your last conversation with him still fresh in your mind.

Paul nodded slightly in your direction. “Morning,” he greeted, though his tone lacked the warmth it once held.

You gave a short nod in response, your voice clipped. “Morning.”

Joel’s eyes darted between the two of you, immediately picking up on the tension. His jaw clenched as he studied Paul, piecing together the unspoken dynamic that was hanging heavy in the air.

“So, you’re the one who delivered Rosie,” Joel said, his voice tight, though he managed to keep his tone neutral. He didn’t know the details, but something about Paul’s presence seemed to rub him the wrong way.

Paul nodded, though his gaze lingered on you for a moment before shifting back to Joel. “Yes. I was just doing my job—helping out where I could.”

Joel’s expression hardened at the subtle implication in Paul’s words, but he didn’t rise to it. He simply crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes locking onto Paul’s with a quiet intensity. “Well, we’re grateful,” he said, his voice low, but there was no mistaking the edge to his tone.

Paul, sensing the unspoken challenge in Joel’s words, shifted his weight slightly. He was used to navigating the delicate lines of life in Jackson, and he had expected this moment ever since Joel had returned. Still, it was clear that whatever he had with you—whatever connection might have developed during Joel’s absence—wasn’t something either of you had wanted to acknowledge out loud.

“I just wanted to stop by and check on Rosie,” Paul said, his voice more professional now, though the tension in the air was still thick. “Make sure everything’s going well.”

“She’s fine,” you answered, your voice a little too sharp. “Healthy and strong.”

Paul gave a tight-lipped smile, glancing at the baby for a brief second before looking back at you. “I’m glad to hear it.”

There was a brief silence, the air between the three of you charged with unspoken words. Joel, standing protectively in the doorway, hadn’t moved an inch, his presence a wall between you and Paul. He may not have known everything that transpired during his absence, but it was clear he didn’t like the familiarity in the way Paul looked at you.

Finally, Paul cleared his throat, sensing he wasn’t welcome to linger any longer. “Well, if you need anything—medically, I mean—don’t hesitate to let me know,” he said, his tone polite but distant now.

Joel gave a slow nod, stepping forward just enough to send the message loud and clear. “We won’t,” he said, his voice low and firm.

Paul hesitated for a brief second before nodding in return. “Alright then,” he said, his eyes flicking to you one last time before turning and walking away, his figure retreating down the path that led back into town.

The door clicked shut as Joel closed it behind him, his broad shoulders tense. He turned back to you, his eyes searching your face for an explanation, though he didn’t say anything at first. The silence hung between you for a moment, thick with unspoken questions.

You sighed, shifting Rosie in the sling as you glanced at Joel. “We used to get along” you said quietly, though you knew that wasn’t nearly the whole story. “He’s just been… around.”

Joel’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t press further, at least not now. He ran a hand through his hair, clearly still working through the emotions that Paul’s presence had stirred in him. “Yeah,” he muttered under his breath, more to himself than to you. “Seems like it.”

But Joel didn’t push the subject. Instead, he looked at you—really looked at you—and softened. “You okay?” he asked, his voice gentler now, his protective instincts kicking in.

You nodded, offering him a small smile. “I’m fine, Joel,” you reassured him. “I’ve got everything I need right here.”

Joel’s expression softened at your words, and without another word, he stepped closer, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you into his chest, Rosie nestled between you. Whatever tension Paul had stirred, it was fading in the warmth of Joel’s embrace.

“Yeah,” he murmured, his voice a quiet promise. “So do I.”

Joel pressed a kiss to the top of your head before pulling away, his eyes searching yours as if making sure you were really okay. “I’ll go find Ellie,” he said softly. “We’ll catch up later.”

You nodded, appreciating the space he was giving you to process everything. “Okay. See you later.”

He gave you one last look, his eyes full of unspoken promises, and then he left the house, heading toward town. With Rosie still nestled against your chest, you decided it was time to get moving too. There was work to be done, and you needed to meet Maria.

As you stepped outside into the cool morning air, the town of Jackson bustled quietly around you. It was early, but people were already up, tending to chores, patrolling the perimeter, and preparing for the day. The sense of community here was something that still amazed you. After all the chaos of the world outside, this felt almost like a slice of peace.

You made your way toward the main square, where you knew Maria and Tommy were likely to be. As you walked, you spotted Maria near the stables, talking with a couple of people from the patrol team. Tommy was beside her, nodding along, his expression serious. It looked like they were discussing something important.

You approached them quietly, not wanting to interrupt. Maria glanced up first, her eyes softening when she saw you approaching with Rosie. “Hey,” she called out with a warm smile. “How are my two favorite girls?”

You smiled back, though it didn’t quite reach your eyes. “We’re good,” you replied, adjusting Rosie in the sling. “Joel just left to find Ellie.”

Maria’s smile faltered for a brief second as she exchanged a glance with Tommy, who cleared his throat and stepped forward.

“Actually, I was just about to head over and talk to Joel,” Tommy said, his tone thoughtful. He rubbed the back of his neck, clearly weighing something in his mind.

“About what?” you asked, your curiosity piqued.

Tommy hesitated, looking at Maria as if seeking confirmation. She gave him a small nod, and he turned back to you. “We’ve been talking about bringing him more into the fold here,” Tommy said, his voice cautious but sincere. “My brother’s a survivor, a leader, he’s got experience we could use. We were going to see if he’d be interested in helping out with the patrols.”

You blinked, processing what Tommy was saying. You hadn’t had much time to think about what Joel’s place in the community would be now that he was back. He’d barely had time to settle in, but you knew him—knew that staying idle wasn’t something he could do for long. He needed purpose, especially after everything that had happened with Ellie.

You blinked, trying to absorb Tommy’s words. Joel had only just returned, and the idea of him immediately taking on more responsibilities—especially something as dangerous as patrols—made your chest tighten with worry. But deep down, you knew Tommy was right. Joel was never the type to sit on the sidelines. He needed a purpose, something to focus on, especially after all he’d been through with Ellie.

Still, it didn’t stop the flicker of unease that crept up your spine. After months apart, the thought of him being out there again, facing potential danger, was difficult to process.

“Patrols?” you asked, your voice cautious. “Isn’t that a bit… soon?”

Tommy looked down for a second, nodding as though he understood your concern. “Yeah, it is soon,” he admitted. “But Joel’s always been a natural leader. He knows how to handle himself, and frankly, we need people like him. Things have been good here, but we can’t get complacent.”

Maria, standing beside Tommy, placed a comforting hand on his arm before turning her gaze to you. “We wouldn’t throw him into anything too heavy right away,” she reassured. “He could start small—short patrols, nothing far from Jackson. But Tommy’s right. Joel’s experience could really help. Plus…” She trailed off, her eyes softening. “It might be good for him. To feel like he’s contributing again.”

You swallowed hard, glancing down at Rosie in your arms. She was still sleeping peacefully, oblivious to the adult worries surrounding her. You wanted nothing more than to protect this little bubble of safety you’d found—Joel’s return, Rosie’s birth, the stability of Jackson. But you also knew Joel, knew he wasn’t the type of man to sit back and let others take risks for him. He’d need to be out there, to feel useful again.

“I understand,” you said quietly, glancing back at Maria and Tommy. “It’s just… after everything, I worry.”

Tommy’s expression softened, and he took a step closer. “I get it. Believe me, I do. He’s my brother. I don’t want him out there if he’s not ready either. But I also know Joel. He’s got that look in his eyes again, like he’s ready to do something. We’ll ease him into it. I promise.”

Maria nodded in agreement. “We’ll keep him close at first. Small tasks. He’s got a family now, and we know that changes things. We’re not going to put him in unnecessary danger.”

You let out a slow breath, nodding. You trusted Maria and Tommy, but it was still hard to think about Joel going back out there, even in a limited capacity.

“I’ll talk to him,” you finally said, your voice steady but laced with emotion. “See how he feels about it.”

Tommy smiled, relieved that you were open to the idea. “Thanks. That’s all we ask. Just see how he’s doing. We won’t rush him into anything.”

“Yeah, and we’ll make sure he’s not doing too much too fast,” Maria added. “We want him here with you and Rosie.”

Her words helped ease the knot of anxiety that had formed in your chest. You knew they meant well, and they were right—Joel would need to find his place in the community sooner or later. He wasn’t the type to stay idle, and if this was a way for him to regain some sense of normalcy, then maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing.

“Okay,” you said, offering them both a small smile. “I’ll talk to him when he gets back.”

Maria reached out and gave your arm a reassuring squeeze. “Thank you. We’re all in this together. And whatever happens, you’ve got our support.”

Tommy nodded, giving you a grateful smile before glancing off toward the direction Joel had gone. “I’ll head out soon and find him, have a quick chat.”

Maria gave you a warm smile, her eyes brightening a little as she mentioned the event. “Oh, and remember—we’ve got that little spring party tonight.” She glanced at Rosie and then back at you, a playful glint in her eyes. “It’s just a small gathering, but it might be a nice chance to get out for a bit. You and Joel could use some time to unwind, you know?”

You felt a small smile tug at your lips, though part of you felt unsure. A party, even a small one, seemed like such a foreign idea after everything that had happened. Still, it might be good for both of you—especially Joel—to spend some time around the community, easing back into this new life.

“I don’t know,” you admitted, glancing down at Rosie, who was still peacefully asleep. “We’ll see how Rosie does today. I don’t want to push her too much.”

Maria nodded, completely understanding. “Of course. No pressure. But if you can make it, even for a little while, it might be good for you two. There’ll be food, music—something light to take our minds off things for a bit.” She smiled gently, knowing how much everyone could use a distraction in these times.

You nodded, appreciating her thoughtfulness. “I’ll talk to Joel about it,” you said. “Maybe we’ll stop by for a little while.”

Maria gave you a quick nod. “That’s all we ask. It’s more about getting everyone together and sharing some moments, you know?” She gave a quick wave, then turned and headed back toward the stables.

As you returned to the house, the thought of the spring party lingered in your mind. It had been so long since you’d even thought about anything remotely festive, and a part of you longed for that sense of normalcy, even if just for a few hours. Maybe it was exactly what you and Joel needed—a chance to reconnect, to feel like a part of this world again, rather than just surviving day to day.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm golden glow over Jackson, you and Joel bundled Rosie in her little blanket and made your way to the spring party. The sounds of laughter and music began to fill the air as you approached, and the sight of string lights flickering overhead created a cozy, inviting atmosphere.

Ellie was already there, bouncing on her toes with excitement as she spotted you. “You made it!” she exclaimed, her face lighting up with joy. She rushed over, throwing her arms around you. “I was starting to think you wouldn’t come!”

“Yeah, well, we thought we’d stop by for a bit,” you replied, a smile breaking across your face. “How’s the party so far?”

“It’s awesome! They have all kinds of food, and they set up games over there!” Ellie pointed enthusiastically to a group of kids gathered around a makeshift ring toss. “Come on! You have to try it!”

Joel shifted beside you, looking a little uncertain as he surveyed the crowd. You could see the tension in his shoulders, the way he glanced around as if trying to find a safe spot. It was understandable; he’d been out of this world for so long, and while Jackson had been a haven for you, it was still new territory for him.

You squeezed his hand gently, your fingers intertwining with his as you leaned in closer. “It’s okay,” you whispered softly, catching his eye. “Just take it one step at a time. We’re in this together.”

He looked down at you, his expression softening as a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “Yeah, okay,” he replied, his voice steadying as he gave your hand a reassuring squeeze in return. The warmth of his touch grounded you, reminding you that despite the chaos of the world outside, you had each other.

As you moved further into the party, the inviting scents of grilled meat and baked goods filled the air, and the lively chatter began to wash over you like a warm wave. People were mingling, laughter echoed around, and for a moment, it felt like life could be normal again.

Ellie dashed off to join Dina, and you and Joel found a spot near the food table. A couple of the neighbors waved at you, smiles on their faces, and you waved back, feeling the warmth of community wash over you.

“See? Not so bad,” you said, nudging Joel gently.

He nodded slowly, but you could still see the wariness in his eyes. “Just… takes some getting used to,” he admitted, his gaze flickering over the crowd.

“Want something to eat?” you asked, trying to keep the mood light. “They have a ton of options, and I think I saw some pie over there.”

Joel chuckled softly, shaking his head. “You and your sweet tooth,” he teased, and that made you smile wider. “You sure you want me to go get it?”

“Why not?” you replied playfully, nudging him again. “It’ll give you a chance to stretch your legs. And I could use some pie—just to fuel me for the games later!”

He let out a small laugh and finally relented, giving you a nod. “Alright, I’ll grab something. Just stay close, okay?”

“Always,” you said, watching him head toward the food table. As he walked away, you felt a swell of affection for him. Despite the uncertainty, he was making the effort, and that meant the world to you.

You moved over to a nearby group of friends who were chatting and laughing, trying to embrace the festive atmosphere. You exchanged pleasantries, laughter bubbling up as stories were shared, and for a brief moment, you allowed yourself to forget about the outside world.

A few minutes later, Joel returned with a plate of food in one hand and a slice of pie in the other. He had a small smile on his face, and you felt a rush of happiness at the sight. He’d found a little comfort in this gathering, and that made everything worth it.

“Got your pie,” he said, handing it to you with a flourish, and you beamed up at him.

“Thank you, sir!” you replied playfully, taking the plate from him. You took a bite, letting the sweetness fill your mouth, and couldn’t help but moan a little at the deliciousness.

Joel chuckled, shaking his head at your exaggerated response. “You really do love that stuff,” he teased, his eyes sparkling with warmth.

You leaned closer, your heart full as you whispered, “You love me for it.”

He smiled, that genuine smile that reached his eyes. “Yeah, I reckon I do.”

As you savored the slice of pie, Maria and Tommy approached, their faces glowing with the warmth of the gathering.

“Hey there!” Maria called out, waving as she made her way over. “Looks like you two are having a good time!”

“Just indulging in some pie,” you replied, grinning. “Can’t resist a good dessert.”

Tommy chuckled, glancing over at Joel. “Looks like you’re fitting in pretty well, brother,” he said, giving Joel a playful nudge.

Joel shrugged, but the small smile on his face gave him away. “Tryin’,” he replied, looking around the festive scene.

Maria’s eyes sparkled as she looked at Ellie, who was bouncing on her toes. “Are you ready to play some games, Ellie? I think they set up a scavenger hunt over there.”

Ellie’s eyes widened with excitement. “Yes! Come on, let’s go!” Without waiting for a response, she dashed off toward the games, clearly eager to participate.

“Hey, wait up!” you called after her, laughing as you turned to Joel. “I guess we’re off to the races!”

“Go on,” Joel said, his voice a mix of encouragement and amusement. “I’ll keep an eye on Rosie. You go have fun.”

“Are you sure?” you asked, glancing down at Rosie, who was nestled peacefully in the blanket.

“Yeah, I got this,” he assured you, his tone firm yet gentle. “You enjoy yourself. I’ll be right here.”

You felt a flutter of gratitude and affection in your chest. “Okay, I’ll be back in a bit,” you promised, leaning down to place a soft kiss on Rosie’s head before you turned to join Ellie, Maria, and Tommy.

As you made your way toward the games, you could hear laughter and cheers ringing out, the atmosphere buzzing with energy. The kids had gathered around a makeshift obstacle course set up with old tires, rope swings, and a small climbing wall, and Ellie was at the front, explaining the rules with fervor.

“Okay, everyone! You have to complete the course and grab a prize at the end!” she shouted, her enthusiasm infectious.

You joined the group, cheering on the kids as they took turns navigating the course. The competitive spirit ignited, and soon you found yourself swept up in the fun, encouraging everyone to give it their best shot.

As you laughed and cheered with the kids, completely absorbed in the games, Joel’s mood began to shift. From the corner of his eye, he noticed Paul standing with a group of friends, but what caught his attention was the way Paul kept glancing in your direction, a subtle smile on his face.

Joel's jaw tightened, and the familiar surge of protective instinct kicked in. His mind raced, and those nagging voices from his past began to creep in, planting seeds of doubt and jealousy. He couldn't shake the feeling, even though he knew better. He turned toward Tommy, his voice low and edged with frustration.

“That guy, Paul,” Joel muttered, not bothering to mask the irritation in his tone. “What’s the deal with him? Why is he looking at my woman like that? Something happen between them or what?”

Tommy’s eyes widened in surprise at Joel’s bluntness, and Maria, who was standing beside them, gave Joel a look of disbelief. “Joel,” Maria said slowly, her voice firm but calm, “you’re overthinking things.”

Tommy raised his eyebrows, clearly taken aback by Joel’s sudden shift in attitude. “What the hell, man?” he asked, keeping his voice down so others wouldn’t hear. “Do you think she was enjoying your absence when you were gone?”

Joel clenched his fists at his sides, his gaze flicking back toward Paul, who was still casually chatting with his friends, seemingly unaware of the storm brewing in Joel’s mind. “Then why’s he smilin’ at her like that?” Joel pressed, his voice laced with a mix of jealousy and insecurity he hadn’t felt in a long time.

“Joel,” Tommy said, a hint of frustration creeping into his voice, “you need to chill. Paul is just friendly. He’s trying to make everyone feel welcome here.”

Maria stepped in, trying to defuse the situation. “Listen, Joel, you’re back now. That’s what matters. You have to trust her.

Joel's jaw tightened, “I trust her, not him”. the protective instinct surging within him. He couldn’t help but think about the time he’d spent away from you, the emptiness that had consumed him during those months. The thought of someone else trying to fill that void made his stomach churn. “I just don’t like how he’s looking at her,” Joel muttered, the frustration evident in his voice.

“You were just implying she had something with him when you were gone” Tommy recalled, clearly mad at his brother.

You approached the table, your heart sinking as you overheard the tension in their conversation. The mention of Paul sent a jolt of unease through you, and you felt your stomach twist. Joel's protectiveness, while understandable, was beginning to feel suffocating.

“Are you really implying that I had something with him?” you interjected, your voice steady but laced with disbelief. The three of them turned to you, surprise evident on their faces. Joel’s expression shifted from irritation to concern, his eyes widening at the realization of how his words had come across.

“No, I—” Joel started, but you raised a hand to stop him, your gaze firmly fixed on him.

“I heard it” You took a deep breath, trying to remain calm.

You reached out and gently took Rosie from Joel's arms, cradling her against you as if she were a shield from the growing tension. The moment your daughter nestled against you, her small weight grounding you, you felt a surge of emotion.

“Look, Joel,” you said, your voice a mix of frustration and hurt, “I know you’re protective. I get that. But you’re making this harder than it needs to be.” You glanced down at Rosie, brushing your thumb against her tiny cheek. “I can’t have you doubting me or our family because of some guy who-“

“Who what?” he pleaded, urging to you to say something.

“I’m going home” you said.

The words hung in the air between you, sharp and sudden. You could see the flicker of surprise in Joel's eyes, his mouth opening slightly as if he were about to protest, to argue, but you raised a hand to stop him.

“Don’t,” you said, your voice steady but trembling with the weight of your emotions. “Just… don’t.”

His jaw clenched as he watched you, the realization of what you meant beginning to sink in. “You’re seriously gonna walk out on me over this?” he asked, disbelief coloring his tone.

“I’m not walking out on you, Joel,” you replied, your heart racing. “I’m walking away from this moment. I need some air. I need to think.”

“Think about what? About me? About us?” His voice was low, laced with urgency, but there was a desperation in his eyes that made your heart ache. “You can’t just leave like this.”

“I can, and I will,” you said, your voice firm despite the tears that threatened to spill over. “I don’t want to fight, especially not in front of Rosie. It’s not fair to her or to us.”

He took a step closer, his expression shifting from disbelief to concern. “You know I didn’t mean it like that,” he said softly, his tone pleading now.

I hear what Tommy said, and if you thought that low of me...My baby needs to rest, goodbye" you say to maria and tommy and glance at joel for the last time before leaving.

With a heavy heart, you turned away, clutching Rosie closer to your chest as you made your way toward the exit. Each step felt like a weight pressing down on you, but you couldn’t stay in the atmosphere filled with unspoken words and tension.

As you walked past Maria and Tommy, you managed a tight smile, trying to keep it together for the sake of your daughter. “Take care of him,” you said quietly, your voice barely above a whisper. You could feel their worried gazes on your back as you continued onward.

“Wait!” Joel called out, but you didn’t turn around. You could hear the urgency in his voice, the underlying desperation, but you needed this space to breathe, to process everything that had just happened.

The cool air hit your face as you stepped outside, the sounds of laughter and festivities fading into the background. You walked a short distance away, finding a quiet spot where you could gather your thoughts without the weight of Joel’s piercing gaze on you.

Once you were alone, you let out a shaky breath, feeling the tears finally spill over as you sank down onto a nearby bench. Rosie stirred in your arms, and you gently rocked her, humming softly to soothe her. She was your anchor in this chaotic world, a reminder of the love that had once felt so solid between you and Joel.

“Why does it have to be so hard?” you murmured to Rosie, wiping the tears away with the back of your hand. “I just want us to be happy.”

"You're just made to be a lover" tommy spoke to Joel.

The moment Tommy’s words reached Joel’s ears, they hung in the air, echoing with a weight that only added to his frustration. “What do you mean by that?” Joel snapped, turning to his brother, his eyes narrowing in irritation.

Tommy raised his hands in a placating gesture, his expression a mix of sympathy and understanding. “I mean, look at you. You care so much about her. You always have. But sometimes, it seems like you’re letting your fears get in the way of that love.”

Joel’s jaw clenched as he ran a hand through his hair, clearly wrestling with the truth in Tommy’s words. “You think I don’t love her?” he shot back, though the defensiveness in his voice felt more like a shield against his own vulnerability.

Tommy took a step closer, lowering his voice to a calmer tone. “No, I’m saying you love her too much to let your insecurities ruin it. She’s been through a lot. She spent the last time of the pregnancy alone; she gave birth alone and you came here and implied that of her?”

“I didn’t.” Joel defended himself.

“You did, Joel,” Tommy said, frustration creeping into his voice. “You made it sound like she might’ve been unfaithful while you were gone. That’s not fair to her, especially after everything she’s been through.”

Joel’s face fell, the weight of Tommy’s words hitting him hard. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he said, his voice low and shaky. “I just… I can’t help but feel like I missed so much. I’m scared of losing her to someone else. I’ve already lost so much.”

“I get that,” Tommy replied, his tone softening. “But the way you said it? That’s not the way to show her you care. She needs you to be her rock, not a source of doubt.”

Joel clenched his fists, battling the feelings of guilt and fear that churned inside him. “I’m trying, man. It’s just hard. I spent so long thinking about her, and now I see this guy looking at her, and I can’t help but feel…”

“Jealous?” Tommy interjected. “Protective? Whatever it is, you’ve got to channel that into something positive. You don’t want to drive her away now that you’re reunited.”

“Go and talk to her before I broke your nose” maria interfered.

Joel turned to Maria, surprise flickering in his eyes. He could see the concern etched on her face, and it reminded him of just how much he had to lose if he didn’t get this right.

“Maria, I—” he started, but she shook her head, cutting him off.

“No more excuses, Joel,” she said firmly. “You need to go to her now. Don’t let your fears ruin what you’ve fought so hard to get back. Go!”

With her encouraging shove, Joel felt a surge of urgency wash over him. He glanced at Tommy, who nodded in silent support, and then turned to make his way through the gathering crowd, his heart pounding in his chest.

He arrived at home and scanned the living room for you, his eyes darting between the furniture and spotted you, sitting on the sofa with Rosie in your arms. The sight of you made his heart ache, how beautiful you looked, but how pained your expression seemed as you cradled their daughter.

Taking a deep breath, he approached, and as he got closer, he could see the small frown on your face. It felt like a kick to the gut. “Hey,” he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

You looked up, with a guarded expression. “Joel,” you replied, your tone cool but not entirely dismissive.

“I, uh… I wanted to talk,” he said, his hands instinctively moving to his hips as he tried to figure out how to say what was in his heart. “About what I said earlier.”

You glanced down at Rosie, who had just started to stir, and then back up at him, your expression a mixture of hurt and uncertainty. “What’s there to say?” you asked, your voice steady but laced with emotion.

He took a deep breath, stepping closer but maintaining a respectful distance. “I’m sorry for what I said earlier. I let my jealousy get the best of me.” He glanced down, his brow furrowing. “I shouldn’t have implied that you were unfaithful.”

Your heart ached at the sincerity in his voice, but the hurt still lingered. “You know how hard it was for me, right? I felt so alone while you were gone. I just wanted to believe everything would be okay when you returned.”

“I get that,” Joel replied, his gaze earnest as he stepped closer. “But it doesn’t excuse my behavior. You were strong while I was away.”

Your breath caught as you prepared to open up, knowing the conversation was far from over. “Joel, while you were gone… things were hard, really hard,” you began, glancing down at Rosie in your arms. The memories of those lonely nights came rushing back, and it took everything in you to keep your voice steady. “Paul… he tried to twist things, make me believe I couldn’t do this on my own. That being a mother, without you, was too much for me.”

Joel’s face tightened, his fists balling at his sides as he absorbed your words. “What are you saying?” His voice was strained, his eyes searching yours for an explanation.

“He never said anything outright, but he was always there, trying to plant seeds of doubt,” you continued, looking down at Rosie as you spoke. “He made it seem like you weren’t coming back, that you couldn’t. He’d say things like, ‘You’re strong, but no one can do this alone,’ or that maybe you’d forgotten about us out there.”

Joel’s expression darkened, the anger simmering beneath the surface, though you could tell he was fighting to keep himself in check. “He said that?”

You nodded. “It was subtle, but it was enough to make me question myself. I think part of me confused the help he was giving with something more. Like maybe, for a second, I thought he was being a friend.” You took a deep breath, forcing yourself to keep going. “But that wasn’t real. I was vulnerable, and he knew it. I was just trying to survive without you, to raise Rosie, to keep going. But I never wanted him, Joel.”

Joel’s shoulders slumped; the tension still present but mixed now with sorrow. He ran a hand over his face, clearly trying to process everything. “So, he tried to make you believe I wasn’t coming back,” he muttered, shaking his head in disbelief. “I hate that he did that. But I hate even more that you had to go through that alone.”

You sighed, feeling the weight of those lonely months lift just a little, now that the truth was out in the open. “I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want to make it worse or seem like I was giving up on you. But it’s why I reacted the way I did tonight. When you questioned me like that… it brought back all those fears.”

You stood up, your heart still heavy but feeling lighter than it had in days. As you carefully laid Rosie down in her crib, her tiny chest rising and falling peacefully, you felt a moment of calm settle over you. The room was quiet, but you could feel Joel’s gaze on you, filled with regret and turmoil.

You turned back to him, hoping that this moment of truth between you had brought you closer. But as you met his eyes, you could see the storm of emotions still brewing within him. He ran a hand through his hair, frustration evident in the tense lines of his body.

Before you could say anything, Joel abruptly turned and walked toward the door.

“Joel?” you called softly, your voice uncertain.

But he didn’t stop. He reached for the doorknob and stepped outside without a word. You hurried after him, calling his name a little louder this time. “Joel, wait!”

By the time you reached the door, he was already halfway down the path, heading back toward the party. You stood at the threshold, the cool night air brushing against your skin, watching as he disappeared into the distance.

Joel marched back toward the party, his footsteps heavy with frustration and unresolved tension. The festive atmosphere was still buzzing with laughter and music, a stark contrast to the storm swirling in his mind. He pushed through the crowd, his eyes scanning for Paul. There was an urgency in his stride, a need to confront the gnawing feeling that had been eating away at him.

When he finally spotted Paul, standing near a group of people by the makeshift bar, Joel’s jaw clenched. The doctor was casually sipping from a glass, laughing at something someone had said, unaware of the brewing confrontation.

Joel approached him, his body tense, his eyes locked onto Paul. As he drew near, the noise of the party seemed to fade into the background, his focus narrowing entirely on this one man. Paul looked up, his smile faltering slightly when he noticed Joel’s intense expression.

“Hey, Joel,” Paul greeted him, his tone friendly but cautious. “Didn’t expect to see you back so soon.”

Joel didn’t waste any time. “We need to talk,” he said, his voice low and steady, but there was a dangerous edge to it. The kind that made everyone around them take a step back, sensing the tension.

Paul raised an eyebrow, clearly confused but trying to keep things light. “About what?”

Joel took a step closer, his gaze unwavering. “About what you said to her. About the things you’ve been puttin’ in her head.”

Paul blinked, his confusion deepening. “What are you talking about? I’ve only ever tried to help—”

“Help?” Joel cut him off, his voice growing sharper. “You think telling her she couldn’t do it on her own, that she needed someone else—needed you—is helpin’?”

Paul’s expression shifted, the easygoing smile he usually wore fading into something more serious. “Joel, I didn’t mean it like that. I was just trying to offer support. She was struggling, and I—”

“I don’t need you explainin’ what she needed,” Joel interrupted again, his anger simmering just beneath the surface. “You don’t get to decide what’s best for her. She’s stronger than you give her credit for you don’t know what she’s capable of.”

Paul held up his hands in a placating gesture, clearly trying to defuse the situation. “Look, I was just trying to be there for her. You weren’t around, and she—”

“And that’s what I’m here for now,” Joel growled, stepping even closer until he was right in Paul’s face. “I don’t care what you thought you were doin’. Stay away from her from my girl.”

“She is your girl, but you abandoned when she was pregnant?” Paul chuckled.

“I didn’t.” Joel replied.

“Oh, come on man, I even know your daughter better than you do”

Joel’s fists clenched tighter, his entire body going rigid at Paul’s words. The implication that Paul knew his own daughter better than he did cut deeper than he’d expected. His breath came out in harsh, shallow bursts as he stepped even closer to Paul, their faces inches apart.

“You don’t know anything about me or my family,” Joel growled, his voice dangerously low. “Don’t act like you were doin’ me a favor. You think you stepped up? You think you know her? You don’t know what we’ve been through.”

Paul didn’t back down, though his face remained calm. “I was there when you weren’t, Joel. She needed someone, and I was the one who made sure she didn’t go through it alone. I’m not trying to make this harder for you, but you have to accept that things changed while you were gone. She changed. She had to.”

Joel’s chest tightened, the guilt he had been fighting against all night rising to the surface. He knew Paul wasn’t entirely wrong—he had been gone, and she had faced some of the hardest moments of her life without him. But the thought of someone else filling that space, being there when he couldn’t, made his blood boil.

“You don’t get to play that card,” Joel bit out, his voice trembling with barely contained fury. “You think just because you were there for a few months, that makes you more important to her than I am? I’ve known her longer than you ever will. And Rosie? She’s my daughter.”

Paul’s calm demeanor shifted slightly, a smirk playing on his lips as he crossed his arms. “You know, Joel,” he said, his tone infuriatingly smug, “maybe she deserves someone who was actually there for her. Someone who can protect her and Rosie. A real man.”

Joel’s breath hitched, his pulse pounding in his ears. Those words—a real man—echoed in his mind like a trigger, striking at every fear and insecurity he had buried deep down. His hands shook with the effort it took not to lash out right then and there.

“Watch your mouth,” Joel growled, his voice dangerously low, his fists twitching at his sides. He could feel the rage simmering just beneath the surface, threatening to boil over. “You don’t get to talk about what she deserves.”

Paul didn’t flinch. If anything, he seemed to grow more confident, feeding off Joel’s rising anger. “But I am talking about it. Because I care about her, Joel. I care about Rosie. Maybe more than you do. You think she needs someone like you, someone who’s always running off, disappearing? Maybe she needs stability. Someone who’s here. A real family.”

Joel’s vision tunneled, the sound of blood rushing in his ears. He took a threatening step forward, his voice barely above a whisper but filled with venom. “I swear to God, Paul. You don’t know what the hell you’re talkin’ about. I was gone because I had to be. To keep her safe. To keep them safe. You’re not part of that. You never will be.”

Paul took a deep breath, stepping closer as if testing Joel’s limits. “Maybe that’s what she’s thinking too. Maybe that’s why she hasn’t said anything to stop me. Maybe she’s realized what a real man looks like.”

Joel snapped.

In one swift movement, he grabbed Paul by the collar, pulling him close. The crowd around them gasped, the festive atmosphere suddenly charged with tension. Joel’s face was inches from Paul’s, his voice a low, menacing growl. “You don’t get to talk about her like that. Ever.”

For a brief moment, it felt like the world held its breath. Paul’s smirk faltered, and for the first time, a flicker of uncertainty crossed his face.

Before Joel could take things further, Tommy’s voice cut through the tension like a knife. “Joel! Stop!”

Tommy rushed forward, putting a hand on Joel’s arm and pulling him back, but not without effort. “This ain’t the way, man. Not here. Not like this.”

Joel released his grip on Paul, pushing him back roughly. His chest heaved with the effort to contain his rage; his fists still clenched. He glared at Paul for a long moment, every muscle in his body tense.

Paul straightened his shirt, trying to regain some of his composure, but the smugness was gone, replaced by something else—caution.

“Stay away from my family,” Joel warned, his voice ice-cold. “Or next time, we won’t be talkin’.”

With that, he turned and stormed off, leaving the party behind him, his mind a whirlwind of anger, guilt, and frustration. He had to get away—away from Paul, away from the eyes of the crowd, and away from the fear that maybe, just maybe, Paul had hit a nerve that Joel wasn’t ready to confront.

Tommy caught up to Joel, grabbing him by the arm and steering him toward the house. Joel’s anger was still palpable, his body tense as they walked, the night air doing little to cool his heated emotions.

When they finally reached the door, Tommy let out a sigh, glancing at Joel, who looked like he was ready to explode again at any moment. “Look, I know you’re pissed. But you can’t keep letting this stuff get to you,” Tommy said, his voice firm but compassionate. “Paul ain’t worth it. And neither is risking your family over some nonsense he’s spewing.”

Joel didn’t respond, his jaw tight as he reached for the doorknob. But before he could open it, Tommy stopped him, his tone more serious now. “You need to fix this, Joel. Not just with her, but with yourself. You keep pushing, and you’re gonna lose her. Don’t let that happen.”

Joel glanced at his brother, his expression conflicted, but he nodded slowly, the weight of Tommy’s words sinking in. He pushed open the door, stepping inside.

As they entered, you were sitting in the living room, cradling Rosie as you fed her. The sight of Joel and Tommy walking in together, the tension still hanging in the air, made your eyes widen. You weren’t sure what had happened, but the look on Joel’s face told you that it hadn’t been good.

Tommy shot you an apologetic glance, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “I know you and my brother had a fight,” he said, his voice low and cautious, “but please, control him. He’s about ready to knock someone’s head off.”

Your heart sank as you looked at Joel, seeing the storm of emotions swirling behind his eyes. You sighed softly, shifting Rosie in your arms before standing up. “What happened?” you asked quietly, already dreading the answer.

Joel stood there, looking at you, the regret evident in his posture. “Nothin’ good,” he admitted, his voice rough. “I had a word with Paul. It got heated.”

Tommy let out a heavy sigh. “That’s one way of puttin’ it,” he muttered, shaking his head. “Look, I’ll leave you two to talk. But seriously, you both need to figure this out. I’ll be around if you need me.” With that, he gave you a reassuring nod and stepped out, closing the door behind him.

Now, it was just you, Joel, and the unspoken tension filling the room. Rosie cooed softly in your arms, oblivious to the weight of the moment.

“Joel,” you began softly, your voice careful. “What did he say to you?”

Joel looked at you, his eyes filled with a mix of frustration and vulnerability. “He said things… things that got under my skin. Made me feel like I’ve been failing you, like he’s been fillin’ in for me. And I just… I lost it.”

You bit your lip, the weight of his words sinking in as you studied his face. Despite the frustration and anger still simmering in him, there was a deep vulnerability beneath it all. Without saying a word, you reached out, taking his hand gently. Joel glanced down at your fingers intertwined with his, and you tugged softly, guiding him toward the sofa.

“Come on,” you whispered, leading him to sit down. Joel hesitated for a second but followed your lead, sinking into the cushions. You could feel his tension, the lingering heat from his encounter with Paul still coursing through him.

Once he was seated, you moved closer, surprising him as you sat down on his lap, your legs on either side of him. You wrapped one arm around his shoulders, your other hand brushing softly through his hair as you settled in. His arms instinctively came up to hold you, though his grip was tentative, as if he were afraid of losing control again.

You leaned in close, your forehead resting gently against his as you spoke softly, “Joel, I need you to hear me. I know you’re angry, and I know you’re hurting, but you don’t have to carry that all by yourself. You’re back and I’m still here. Rosie’s here. Ellie’s here. We’re not going anywhere.”

He looked up at you, his brow furrowed, eyes searching yours for reassurance. “I’m tryin’, but every time I think about what you went through while I wasn’t here…” He trailed off, his voice breaking slightly as the guilt washed over him.

You cupped his face with both hands, forcing him to look directly at you. “You didn’t fail me, Joel. I made it through because I had to—for Rosie, for us. And I’m still here because I want to be with you. But you have to stop letting those fears control you. Paul doesn’t matter. You do. This family does.”

He sighed, his hands tightening slightly around your waist, his body starting to relax just a little under your touch. “I hate feelin’ like I’m not enough. That someone else could step in and—”

“Nobody’s stepping in, Joel,” you interrupted firmly, your voice soft but insistent. “Nodoby could replace you.”

He leaned his head back against the sofa, his eyes closing as he took a deep breath, as if your words were the first bit of air he’d gotten in hours. You stroked his cheek, your thumb tracing the line of his jaw, trying to soothe the storm within him.

“You have to let this go,” you whispered, leaning in closer, your lips just inches from his. “We’re here. We’re together. And nothing—no one—is going to change that.”

Joel opened his eyes, his gaze locking onto yours, a mixture of relief and lingering vulnerability flashing through them. He reached up, his hand gently brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, his touch soft and reverent. “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he murmured, his voice low and full of emotion.

“You won’t have to find out,” you replied softly, leaning down to press your lips gently against his. The kiss was tender, full of the love and reassurance that words alone couldn’t convey.

As you pulled back slightly, your fingers traced the side of his face, your voice barely above a whisper. “Joel, he will never have the way you have me.” You said, kissing his mouth, hands hiking up his shirt. His hand moved up your back, pulling you closer as if he needed the reassurance that you were right there with him.

The kiss deepened, slow and deliberate, like he was savoring every moment. You could feel the tension in him slowly dissolving, replaced by something warmer, more certain. His fingers brushed through your hair, his other hand resting gently on your waist, holding you steady as the kiss grew more intense.

“I want you” you whispered against his mouth, then down his jawline, neck collarbone as his hands squeezed your waist as an answer.

“Please, have me” he replied, his voice hoarsed in a whimper.

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