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savagewildnerness · 2 months ago

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If there’s a character you’re ride-or-die for: what was their moment?

I’m apparently in the mood for discussion today!

Bringing this question, from ShxsPrLady on reddit here for you all…

“If there’s a character you’re ride-or-die for: what was their moment?”

I began with TV-Lestat, primarily as people were mostly discussing TV characters first. And - honestly? When he can’t abide the flat tenor. Lestat’s response to the experience of bad art is literally a cathartic acting-out of my internal feelings when I experience bad art & I feel like it is killing me inside. I’m so curious if some people find Lestat cruel here? To me, I find him empathetic: he separates the tenor from the art in the sense of giving him a peaceful, meditative death, not a cruel one & in so doing he is also trying to show Louis that there can be beauty in the creatures they are. And it’s simply satisfying to me to watch your deepest feelings (but which you would obviously never act or or want to act on as you're a human, not a monster!) played out in an extreme way! And he's trying to get Louis to feed, too...

Book-Lestat - his philosophical ponderings on The Savage Garden, particularly in relation to the goodness of art and his idealistic optimism & empathy regarding the beauty of humanity. (Which I think tie into point 1.) Also: Lestat’s experience at The Witches Place & the way he can become overwhelmed by feeling in a way others do not comprehend.

Essentially Lestat is ride-or-die to me because of his internal experience. I relate to how he sees the world; to his soul - to who he is at his core, internally. Externally, I am not like Lestat at all! I am almost his opposite! I am quiet, I am introverted. I am not go-getting... (though I can be impulsive, emotional and determined I suppose... but in most ways I am zero like Lestat externally.) But because who he is inside, in his heart connects so deeply to me, how could he not be ride-or-die? Since the age of 12, every time I have a deep topic to contemplate or ruminate on, Lestat is literally there in my mind, reasoning it with me. Lestat’s heart & soul entwined in my own as I grew from child to adult. Like I cannot fully separate myself from him as he was such a formative character for me.

Book-Nicolas - the way he is praised for his violin playing being emotional and moving - with feeling, but *knows* he will never be technically good *enough*. This aspect of Nicolas is PRECISELY how I felt about myself already aged 12 when I first read the books. And I didn’t just *feel* it. Like Nicolas, I *knew* it was true. There is no character I can think of in any book or story in any form that had so directly precise a connection to me. Nicolas’ ache for all he will never be is my own ache. I am he, he is me. It's not that I feel similarly to Nicolas. Nicolas' feelings, at least regarding his art *are* my feelings... and they were my feelings aged 8. I know, because it is who I am too that Nicolas' feelings about his violin playing pre-date him ever even learning the violin. It is a character-trait and a form of self-perception which I share, 100%. I thought this way aged 5 too, before I began learning any instrument and when nobody, not even me could say I wasn't a child.

I adore show-Armand & would adore him no matter what! But for me, Armand is quite different. I would not say I related to him. And I can also hate him. Like I can truly despise Armand at times, but I never wouldn’t also love him. I love how I can simutaneously hate and love Armand. He is quite unique for me in that way. I could never hate Nicolas or Lestat and other characters, when I hate them I cannot also love them. But Armand - I can love AND hate him simultaneously and no depths of despising could diminish my simultaneous love.

And the saddest thing in the books for me is vampire-Nicolas. He is SO cruel to Lestat & so insane. And I hate it! But Lestat created that & Armand created it. And so I still cannot hate Nicolas. Nor can I place all the blame at Armand’s door, when human Nicki was a dying drunk who’s stopped eating & was slipping into madness before Armand ever kidnapped him. Nor can I blame Lestat, who was trying to protect Nicolas from his vampire self. It was all a horrible tragedy. I can’t even blame Armand. Because Nicki was mad! Screaming in the streets about vampires & killing publicly & risking everyone’s lives. All just a total disaster. But I’ll never not feel for you Nicki, because our hearts are the same. I’m not a cynic like you. But the bird of hopeless chaos in your mind is there in mine too…

I could honestly talk for DAYS on how I relate to Nicolas. I know I have shared it all before, though! Maybe I'll elaborate a little more here too...?

So, I always related to Nicki. I first read the vampire chronicles when I was around 12, and I started playing violin aged 8. But nobody in my family was musical. And the only reason I played violin was my school said “who wants to play violin” when we were 8 & “auditioned” us & picked 4 children, luckily including me. So I walked out of school with a violin one day. I was so scared my friends would be sad they weren’t picked I hadn’t mentioned anything about being chosen to them or my parents until I walked out with a violin. Aged 12, when I first read The Vampire Lestat, I would also have just gotten my own first violin. (Till then I just borrowed violins from school - they had yellow paint and a number scratched into them so you couldn't steal the violin and they were obviously never *my* violin as they had to be returned.). So now, I had my first ever violin. I've been playing for 4 years. And here is Nicolas.

Even though nobody was musical in my family, I always loved music. There was a dance school at the bottom of my road & I danced from slightly before I turned 3 (my Mum would take me to watch as a toddler as I begged her to before I was eventually allowed to join in!) & could always imagine when my teacher said stuff like “the music is water in the stream & your hand is running through it”… Like, I saw a stream in my mind. I saw the water drip from my fingers as I held them up. Music was always feeling and imagery to me.

Anyway, from aged 8-18 I only ever had free 15-minute violin lessons in school. I never had a private lesson. My violin teacher (who hated children, haha, but liked us a bit more when we got to 17/18) told me I was the only student she'd even gotten to do grade 8 violin without ever having had a private violin lesson.

But, though I'd met them earlier through orchestras, it was when I moved to secondary school, aged 11 I was fully confronted with several kids (actually it was just 2 sisters) from richer & more musical families who had learned violin since they were toddlers and had musician parents and were full of confidence. They were SO incredible at playing violin already & I realised missing science for 15 minutes a week… I’d always be rubbish in comparison to them. To make it worse, the younger sister (who was about my age) hated me. I still don't understand why it was. It remains a mystery to me even now. I saw her a few years ago and actually HID because while I admire her talent and never hated her at all, I was always terrified of her. I just don't understand. She used to bully me in these weird, surreptitious, mocking ways so other people would likely not notice, but I was a knife to my heart.

Anyway, I started playing piano aged 12 (which is so old to begin an instrument!) & these girls were also taught piano by my piano teacher. But they’d been learning since they were 3. It’s funny. I always had this awful side to me (even aged 5) where if I wasn’t “the best” at any thing I considered myself “the worst” & music is one of few things I stuck with even though I knew my inevitable lack in.

Soon after I started piano lessons, my piano teacher was looking to cut back on students as she was looking to semi-retire. I was still only a beginner & she was going to stop my lessons. Then, I had a lesson & she told my Mum “Oh, I can’t stop with her. She plays with too much emotion!” So I got to continue piano lessons. And this was to me such a Nicolas thing to have been told - I would never be truly good at piano or violin… but there was *something* in my playing? (I don't know whether there is anything in my playing, but music certainly means something to me.)

Perhaps a fatalistic side of my personality (though I perceive it as simply realistic), but I always knew I would never be good enough to be a musician, even though I was a lot younger than Nicolas. I think I probably didn’t fully understand Nicolas’ full cynicism. But how he felt about his music… oh, I understood that! I was (& am!) that!!!

I’m sure there must be thousands of us in the world who always felt that ache of what we can never be. If not in music, then in something else. Likely it’s a character flaw, really - a deep lack of self belief, turned to self-pity.

Loads of humans must share that experience. Way more of us are Nicolas’ than are Lestat’s - with all the natural charm & gifts to succeed…

Eventually I learned (I learned it as I actually did a maths degree at Cambridge (LOL! Ridiculous! Yet it happened), which I only did as I was objectively good at maths and then when I got there I was RUBBISH compared to most people... so I honestly didn't begin to learn this till I was 18/19!) that reality is you’ll never be the best human in the world at any thing, so you may as well strive to just do whatever you love in some way, if possible. If you can do it in a useful way to others: even better (I still do not consider myself a musician AT ALL, but I am a music therapist. Not The Best Music Therapist, but if someone is connected with for a moment, maybe it means something?) But it took me a long time to even begin to understand that.

So yeah... Lestat is my heart and soul and I reason with him... and Nicolas is literally who I am in so many ways that it actually makes me a little afraid to see how he is adapted for TV... because what if he reveals terrible things about ME? Because he is so me and I am so him. Or what if he isn't presented very in depth?

Obviously Nicolas is important in terms of his relationship to Lestat. I was rewatching S1E1 last night and was struck by Louis saying "For the first time in my life, I was seen." I think this is what Lestat wants to gift Louis, in part because this is what Nicolas offered Lestat. Oh, Nicolas and Lestat would never have lasted forever even if they had remained mortals. Nicolas would have simultaneously clung to Lestat, while resenting him increasingly as Lestat, no doubt would have grown increasingly successful, famous and would have been increasingly loved by all. And I don't even know that they would have split up. I think actually that Lestat would have had to watch Nicolas self-destruct, had they both remained humans. And for Lestat's fragile core, watching a human Nicolas self-destruct and eventually die may have led to Lestat's own death in the end. I don't know that a mortal Lestat could have borne that? I see that they would have ended in a Shakespearean (satisfying) DOOM had they remained mortal. But maybe you disagree. I suppose my vision isn't too dissimilar to Nicolas' vision, even though I don't consider myself a cynic... so maybe I am merely revealing that I am even *more* Nicolas than I know!!?!?!

But yeah... I say this because although Nicolas is important to Lestat, I love Nicolas so much because I relate to him deeply as his self, separate from Lestat. Like, I don't see Nickistat as the greatest love story. I think Nicolas was maybe the only being who could have dragged even the ever-enduring Lestat to his own self-destruction. (Of course Louis' death could do that too, but with Nicolas it would have been a more active impact from Nicolas' own actions.)

Yeah.... I am rambling on and on about Nicolas. But I just can't think of any other character I have read that was... like he's parts of myself that I wouldn't normally discuss with other people. Parts of myself that I had never heard anyone else talk about as being their experience either in reality or in fiction. Even though, I imagine many people must feel similarly? Or I don't know... I suppose it is aspects of my personality. And please know, I am way more of an idealist than Nicolas... although... maybe Nicolas is too? I don't know. When you're Lestat-idealist, you make things happen! You never believe any thing is impossible! It can result in mad, impulsive disaster... but it means all hope is never lost. I speak for myself now... but as not-a-cynic, but an idealist, at my core I always believe in the most beautiful outcome and even while I don't fully believe it will happen, the core of me *does* believe it will... and it never does. As I do not possess Lestat's go-getting nature to make such things happen. I possess none of Lestat's self-belief or drive. And yet I do have his hope and it's shattered over and over again on the rocks of reality.

"I saw a bird soaring out of a cave above the open sea. And there was something terrifying about the bird and the endless waves over which it flew. Higher and higher it went and the sky turned to silver and then gradually the silver faded and the sky went dark. The darkness of evening nothing to fear, really, nothing. Blessed darkness. But it was falling gradually and inexorably over nothing save this one tiny creature cawing in the wind above a great wasteland that was the world. Empty caves, empty sands, empty sea. All I had ever loved to look upon, or listen to, or felt with my hands was gone, or never existed, and the bird, circling and gliding, flew on and on, upwards past me, or more truly past no one, holding the entire landscape, without history or meaning, in the flat blackness of one tiny eye. I screamed but without a sound. I felt my mouth full of blood and each swallow passing down my throat and into fathomless thirst. And I wanted to say, yes, I understand now, I understand how terrible, how unbearable, this darkness. I didn't know. Couldn't know. The bird sailing on through the darkness over the barren shore, the seamless sea. Dear God, stop it. Worse than the horror in the inn. Worse than the helpless trumpeting of the fallen horse in the snow. But the blood was the blood after all, and the heart -- the luscious heart that was all hearts -- was right there, on tiptoe against my lips. Now, my love, now's the moment. I can swallow the life that beats from your heart and send you into the oblivion in which nothing may ever be understood or forgiven, or I can bring you to me. I pushed him backwards. I held him to me like a crushed thing. But the vision wouldn't stop. His arms slipped around my neck, his face wet, eyes rolling up into his head. Then his tongue shot out. It licked hard at the gash I had made for him in my own throat. Yes, eager. But please stop this vision. Stop the upward flight and the great slant of the colorless landscape, the cawing that meant nothing over the howl of the wind. The pain is nothing compared to this darkness. I don't want to ... I don't want to . . ."

So yeah... well done if you got this far. Tell me your ride-or-dies and why....?

#interview with the vampire #anne rice #amc interview with the vampire #lestat de lioncourt #the vampire lestat #amc iwtv #iwtv amc #iwtv lestat #nicolas de lenfent #lestat x nicolas #lestat x nicki #nicki de lenfent #nickistat

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sorryichasedyourmorning · 6 months ago

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Depressing Characters in Repo! The Genetic Opera

This is mainly a writing about Mag, Shilo, Nathan, Luigi, and SINGLE MOM (Why do you guys all like Single Mom so much). But yeah! Welcome to my analysis of sad Repo characters and WHY THEY'RE DEPRESSING. Of course, here are the disclaimers of topics mentioned in this short little essay thing:

Exploitation

Power Imbalances

Abuse

Child Neglect and Abuse

Suicide

Mental Illness

Discussion of Sexual Themes (Not in a weird way, don't worry)

Self-loathing

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First off, let's talk about Shilo. Shilo was completely lied to by her father, and her case doesn't need much explaining, as she is one of the most explored characters in the films. She lives her entire life being poisoned and trapped in a room, and when she discovers this, she doesn't even have the opportunity to seek closure, as her father is then murdered in front of her. Shilo now has to make up for the missing years of her life with no one around her to comfort her, having watched her only other family besides her now deceased father quite literally kill herself on stage. This leaves her destined to now have to find her own guidance in a world where she now has to work through the trauma procured from the events of the opera.

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In an order of connecting things, Nathan. Nathan has to deal with the blame and self-loathing of a murder that he didn't commit, even dying believing that he was always truly at fault. The death of his wife and the fear of how Shilo was almost taken for him haunt him, leading him to have a deep phobia of people leaving him. Nathan uses this as motivation to poison Shilo and push away all other people in his life, stating that Shilo had died, therefore leaving him with a person that would be able to provide a sort of echo chamber for him, only knowing the loving and kind side that he showed her and knowing no other mannerisms of his, leading him to have an endless source of appreciation.

Through his career as a Repo man, Nathan begins to take on a sort of split personality, switching between the personality of a father with a passion for science and a psychotic man whose only purpose is the track and kill his victims, thus showing the corrupting manner of his career.

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Mag is the definition of someone who is absolutely fucked over by quite literally ever factor in the film. She deals with a horrible life with GeneCo, a loveless relationship (See below), loss of her closest friend and goddaughter, who is presumed dead by the society outside of the Wallace house, a debt that she can never fully replay, self-hatred due to actions that aren't of her own, and a contract that, per a theory I stated in a previous post, may have been completely unfair and left her unaware of the main issue of it.

The subject of Mag's death is argued about, mainly on TVtropes, this regarding whether or not it counts as a suicide due to the fact that one reason that she chose to go out this way was due to the fact that she wanted to finally be able to control at least one thing in her life. I personally would rule this as a suicide due to the simple definition of the word, as well as connecting factors of the lyrics in her songs alluding to trauma and self-loathing. There's also the factor of how she needs to maintain a perfect exterior for GeneCo, and like the Largos, is not able to show weakness and is forced to simply not stop smiling and give the public what they want to see.

She won the poll of saddest character, for the record, which compared to all of the little Twitter things you can snag from the Largo Twitters, lyrics of her songs, and simple observations, this can be seen as quite understandable.

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Back to connecting things, we have Luigi. Luigi has an incredibly active Twitter that gives us a lot of information on him, such as the fact that Rotti wasn't exactly always there for him when he was a child, which can lead to an inference that he grew up being praised for this violent behavior. This also leads to Luigi's inability to have a real relationship, as shown by the fact that his Twitter highlights a relationship that he had with Mag.

In this relationship, he tried to keep his feelings out of it and leave it as a purely sexual thing, but his posts do show that he does want something more than that, but due to his inability to express his feelings, he is never able to have this.

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To try and lighten the mood (Even though this is another sad stuff analysis), let's talk about a character who actually got multiple votes, Single Mom. As @mahoukat said in the poll comments, Single Mom represents consumerism and the exploitation and fetishization of the impoverished. She initially needed a kidney transplant simply so that she could stay alive for her children, but didn't have the money for this. In turn, she was given a full-body makeover with the condition of her exposing herself on live television, a complete exploitation of her impoverished status to cause her to do something that could potentially ruin her life with friends and family, as well as harm her chances of finding new connections.

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The comments are an OPEN FORUM!! I really like reading your comments and reblogs, so ye!!

#blind mag #nathan wallace #shilo wallace #luigi largo #single mom (repo)#repo #repo! the genetic opera #r!tgo #rtgo #repo!tgo #GRAAAAAVES

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cryptidcanid19 · 9 months ago

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ok i'll bite. what is the hi fi normal au

So glad you asked (deranged)! To make a very long story short - paraphrased from @artdragon122 , the basic gist of it is that it follows a timeline where Kale survives and the "bad guys" play nice with the "good guys". A redemption arc if you will, and that was what the original plan was.

Full rundown under cut; General TWs for child abuse and neglect (Kale is not a happy camper).

Dragon and I came up with the AU following just that - everyone is happy and coexists with one another, and it gave us a chance to insert our OCs as well. No one died (well. kind of) and there was really nothing wrong. But I think the general trend with anything I, and by extension Dragon, touch never ends up being pure and happy and blissful.

We mostly use this AU for roleplay scenarios, so the both of us have different characters assigned to one another. The most important thing you should know about this is that Dragon had the ability to handle Kale, and miraculously, turned him into the saddest most tragic wet cat of a man ever. And by that I mean we both noticed that his poor relationship with the rest of his family is. Not that great. We took the fact that neither Peppermint nor Roxanne even batted an eye at his death in the game and ran with it.

Without going too deep into it just yet, Kale was heavily neglected and abused by his mother for not being the favorite child. Peppermint was raised to think he was the scum of the earth and thus treated him as such. Spectra ended up being the result of that, and was originally filled with the intent to brainwash his mother into giving him the love and care he was never able to have. Over time it evolved into something more sinister, thus bringing the events of the game to fruition.

While the other bosses survived Chai's escapades, Kale was not so lucky. He, quite literally, exploded to bits and was very lucky to even be able to be repaired. Chai had to and continues to live with the guilt that he did wind up killing someone. As Kale recovers, Chai and his gang handle the events at the secret Spectra lab below the island. Dragon had the brilliant idea of changing the memos you usually find down there to be a log of Kale's descent into insanity. It's very eye-opening for them and changes their entire perspective on why Kale did anything at all (except for Peppermint, we'll get to that later).

A few months later, a groupchat is made (where we stsrted this whole thing) in order to help everyone get along with each other better. It does go well save for a few incidents, one involving Chai stupidly throwing himself into a "rematch" with Roquefort and barely surviving, and some unlikely friendships are made. It slowly becomes obvious that Kale has a lot more going on than originally thought, even after everything, and surprisingly Chai is able to help him and Peppermint restore their relationship as siblings who deserve to care for one another.

Although, there is a more fucked up timeline to all this where Peppermint practically undergoes a villain arc which Dragon and I have dubbed the "Cocomelon AU". That's not important right now though.

That's basically all we have in terms of canon events for now, but here's some extra info that is just a bunch of things we decided to say "fuck it" and make canon:

• Roquefort and Drake (Dragon's OC) are married but like to pretend that they aren't. They're the pinnacle of ""toxic"" yaoi (they care about each other a lot).

• Chai is hopelessly head over heels for Kale. Kale is in that mixed stage of "why do I care about him so much" and no further moves have been made despite Chai's desperate attempts to get together. They'll figure it out eventually.

• Zanzo and Mimosa kiss each other apparently and they make it everyone's problem once people find out. It's horrid (awesome).

• We can make any franchise we want canon. This includes Monster Hunter and Ultrakill. Chai and Peppermint, who are completely "normal" about UK, were able to convince Zanzo to design IRL replicas of V1 and V2.

• Chai is a streamer and a very surprisingly wealthy furry artist. His top paying commissioner is Roquefort. It makes for very funny blackmail material.

• CNMN apparently works retail.

• Chai, Kale, and Peppermint are trans.

• Kale suffers from chronic migraines and is unfortunately subjected to the effects of getting high off of high doses of ibuprofen (may or may not have caused some emotional phone calls with his sister).

Holy fucking shit this is long. We will end up making this a sideblog at some point so if any of you are interested in this AU there will be that! If Dragon sees this feel free to add on LMAO

#canid.txt #ive been writing this for like #a half an hour #hi fi rush #hi fi normal au #hfr

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riverdale-retread · 1 year ago

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Riverdale S7 E9 (Chapter 126) Betty and Veronica

Jughead Jones is mourning the death of Brad Rayberry. Even though he’s in his happy place, the Diner, all around him feels like a black void where he is cast in a chilly blue shadow. (I assume this is a reference to Joan Didion’s book about the death of her daughter, Blue Nights, published in 2011). He’s not so much as narrating the story to the audience as telling himself how he’s feeling in order to cope with the magnitude of his emotions. The soundtrack though is being breathtakingly unkind - it plays “Ain’t that a shame” over his grief. The lyrics are as follows: You made me cry when you said goodbye/ Ain't that a shame / My tears fell like rain / Ain't that a shame / You're the one to blame/ You broke my heart when you said we'll part.” Not the most tender, either in content or delivery. Poor Jughead.

Maybe like all intense life events, the death of someone important to you brings out whatever is your strongest (or possibly weakest) emotional color. Jughead is the saddest boy in the (television) world to ever be sad, so in grief he finds the world itself has a slow, sad rhythm, distorted and gooey, as even the big cupfuls of sugar he downs to try to make himself feel better don’t pep him up. He does look so very bereft. He’s reading all of his mentor’s work, maybe in chronological order, as his grieving process. (When I suffered the catastrophic loss of someone, I was not sad. I was furious. I’d be walking along, and suddenly remember they were dead, and then my vision would literally turn red, forcing me to stop walking for a bit because I was actually blinded by rage.)

Jughead is too disheartened to narrate, so the ‘show’ takes over.

Betty is sitting in a fetching red gingham dress dead center of the screen, facing off against Werther who is behind is big desk. Above her head flashes her name, Betty, in the famous Riverdale comics font - hot pink outline, pale pink innards.

Werther acts like he didn’t realize that cheerleading was a sexualized environment, which he might well have, I suppose. Werthers says that Alice agrees with him, which is very strange, because it was HAL who was the one to tell Betty she has to join the Vixens, and HAL was the one who called Clifford Blossom, who forced Cheryl to make room for Betty. It was Werthers, Hal and Clifford that decided to put Betty into the cheerleading squad to both her and the cheer captain Cheryl’s chagrin, and yet, when the time comes to recognize that this was a stupid thing to do when the goal was to force Betty to stop thinking about sex, somehow Alice is brought into it. Werthers disclaims responsibility for this little cheerleading foray, absolves the two other men for going along with his stupidity, and somehow foists the blame for this on Alice.

Betty thinks Werthers is a very silly man. She has a hard time keeping a straight face as Wethers says odd things. She questions her interrogator right back - How does Werthers see high school as an institution, if to him it’s not horny at all? “As an academic institution meant to provide a safe environment where students can challenge themselves intellectually…” blahblahblah - a holding cell to safeguard young people’s virginity, apparently. She isn’t even a bit abashed. I am in awe that her confidence seems so genuine. She thinks she’s talking to a silly, out of touch adult who is participating in the continued wasting of her time that her parents keep pushing her into. Werther is very annoyed about his failure to intimidate Betty, so he tries a different tack : You stripped in front of your window! You flashed your underpants on live television!

Betty’s glow does dim a bit at this attack, so he turns quite vicious. He calls her all the things Kevin Keller did - nymphomaniac, sexual compulsive, exhibitionist. Betty has been called these insulting things when it really mattered, so she’s insensitive to it now. She wants Werthers to get to the point. (Again, I am so in awe of her not being crushed by the weight of his disapproval. Catholic confuscian little old me could never have dared. But then, nobody thought I was especially sexual. This specific form of torture is being inflicted on Betty not just because she did those things, necessarily, but because she is beautiful and desirable to older men and so people like Werther want to talk to her about sex. If you’re not attractive and yet still horny, you get treated quite differently.)

Werther’s for example wants to know about Betty’s first sexual memory. Fortunately, it turns out to be just thinking her friend Archie is super handsome when they are playing Operation! together, but we all know that if it turned out to be something more upsetting, there is no way Werthers would have been able to cope. Betty lies and says she can’t remember, so Werthers moves on. “How often, Betty, would you say that you think about sex?”

The show, that played the sarcastic music over Jughead’s grief, decides to play the Lollipop song that was the ring tone for when Betty was getting terrorized by the Black Hood i.e. her dad, who wanted to recruit her into being a serial killer with him in 2017. And she did just recently suddenly start with eating actual lollipops, didn’t she?

When Betty opens her curtains first thing in the morning, Betty has no choice but to look out across the way at Archie’s bedroom. She imagines him shirtless with rippling abs, and she imagines coming in from behind to wrap her hand around the back of his neck to kiss him good and proper. Her hallucination of early morning horniness includes her hopping onto his waist to be on top even as they’re standing. Betty Cooper likes to ride on top whatever the universe.

The day continues with her encountering a mint green gas guzzler of an American vehicle, which she gives an affectionate pat as she skips her way into school. On the steps is Fangs, who his combing his hair handsomely off his handsome face. Betty immediately imagines laying him out on the hood of the car she likes so much, to get on top and have her way with him. The Lollipop song’s opening is going on forever, but then it seems to have a POP! smooch! sound.

Betty is walking down the halls looking a bit freaked out as the song continues to play. She’s wearing a pink flower print dress with a tightfitting green sweater and a red belt. Here comes Jughead Jones, wearing the green vest over a pink shirt combo that he was so perfectly matched with Tabitha in on her first day back in Riverdale. Uhhh I guess this outfit really did it for all the ladies of Riverdale?!?! He starts out scowling, looking cranky, but because this is Betty’s fantasy, his faces relaxes as he sees her looking at him as they walk towards each other. In time with the lyrics “His kiss is sweeter than apple pie,” Betty grabs Jughead by the arm, spins him around, and they are in an embrace, lips locked.

This song is hyper sexual - I call him Lollipop! - like did everyone who liked this song know that this was a fellatio pun?

Then! In the girls’ changing room Betty looks up from lacing up her pure white sneakers to see Veronica Lodge, shiny of hair, red of lip, almond of eye, looking meaningfully over her shoulder at at her. This is artwork stolen straight from the cover of a pulp novel, except in this instance the blonde is the aggressor. Betty slams Veronica up against a locker before kissing her.

Back in the hall, Betty looks more unsettled than ever, when she slams into Reggie. And Reggie gets the steamiest fantasy of all - she’s right back in the shower room, making out naked with him under running water. This is actually how she and Archie have sex for the first time as adults in the future, so basically, they kept Betty’s favorite positions and sex locations consistent this season. Why the fantasy about Reggie is so much more advanced than her thoughts for the others? Maybe she just desires him more.

Then she walks into science class, where Dilton has set off a mini volcanic eruption.

Having made Dilton Long Duk Dong coded, the show can’t bear to give him a kiss scene with Betty. Lame!

And anyway, after that glowing fantasy with cheerful music, we are yanked back (with a record scratch sound) to reality with Werthers who keeps insisting on saying the word SEX to Betty. Betty tries hedging the answer to the question about how often she thinks about sex. An average amount → every seven seconds like Kingsley’s study concluded → “I think about sex all the time.” She’s pushed into saying things by Werther who really wanted her to give this answer, by goading her into it. He needs a number, he keeps insisting, so she gets annoyed and says she “thinks about sex all the time.” This is the same kind of ill judged, rebellious energy that had her doing the panty flashing to begin with.

But I also do this and have done this, just not questions about sex because this particular issue (being viewed as hypersexual) has never been a problem for me. I have, however, reacted this way about other things, so I’m inclined to generalize and say that most people would respond to this sort of aggravating stimulus in the same way. At some point when you push and needle and harass someone long enough, in a nasty enough way, they will give you what they think you want them to say, to just get you to stfu. Poor Betty. I can’t believe they’re taking her out of school for this, to have this conversation about sex with this crusty old man. (There is so much fucked up about Confuscian cultural heritage when it comes to gender and sex but THIS particular iteration - of having a young girl isolated with an old man to talk about sex explicitly - would never be permitted no matter what she’s done or what his qualifications are, so, uh, thanks for the small reprieves, I guess?)

But I mean - there’s a reason that Betty is in a way forced to think about sex all the time. She’s beautiful and sexualized by all the adults in her life well before she herself is ready. They’re doing this TO HER.

Werthers asks WHY she thinks about sex all the time - and the real answer is what I’ve written above. But Betty keeps answering in a straightforwardly honest way - She’s curious about how it feels.

Oh, the other solution to her horniness, assuming it’s genuine and self-produced, is to make her take tests constantly, publicize her rankings in school, train her to see all classmates of any gender as competitors, and put the terror of utter failure as a person by hinging success on acceptance into three university options and then make her do endless rounds of rote memorization punctuated by spot quizzes non stop from ages 10 through 18.. i.e. Give her a S. Korean college prep education. That really squashes the horniness out of your teenagers, lemme tell ya.

Betty wants to have sex for pleasure. Werthers snaps that sex is for reproduction only. (So in this way he’s very Catholic priest coded - a celibate gay man who hates women wanting women to suffer lots of unwanted pregnancies before dying young). (I joke about this but though I’m sure they’re cohabitants and gay together I doubt Werthers and Featherhead can actually bear to touch each other, hence celibate.) Betty snaps back about men’s use of pornography to question this “sex is for creation of heirs inside a marital relationship.”

The fact that the Coopers go to church at all is surprising to me, but that’s because I temporarily forgot this was 1955. The thing is, having the structure and community of church seems to have no steadying effect on Alice Cooper whatsoever. Her hankering for that kind of connection is what led her to keep shoving her daughters into the hands of the Sisters of Quiet Mercy and definitely what made her so susceptible to the Farm in Modern Times. In any case, Hal keeps his porno in his sock drawer AND

ALICE AND HAL DO NOT SLEEP IN THE SAME BED.

The girl on the cover of Prance has Veronica’s raven hair, strong eyebrows and her penchant for killer heels. The cover says “In Broad Daylight, A Nude Lighting Study” and “Twisted Sisters; Beverly Barry on her blasphemous defection from the convent.” Betty is very turned on by the centerfold of the dark haired girl, who is very gorgeous and looks very happy. (That’s kind of what I like too about these old Vargas style pictures. The women look so happy.)

Betty, ever quick on the uptake, retorts that she isn’t a child, either.

Werthers, as a celibate, is very not into talking about a person who has undeniably had sex with another person at least twice in his life (Hal Cooper), when Betty wants to talk about it. The reason he gives is that he is “a CHILD psychiatrist.”

She’s so smart.

That evening, Betty is sitting in a very uncomfortable posture on her bed, trying to get what looks like math homework done when the overly friendly looking Alice Cooper bursts in with a whole clutch of wedding magazines. At first, Betty thinks her mother is being silly. Possibly cute. But as Alice’s strongsuit is not subtlety, the comments she emits keep getting more pointed. “A girl can daydream about her wedding” and”When I see you in that white dress, standing at that altar, it’s gonna be the happiest day of my life.”

Because yeah - you wouldn’t really be asking these horrible slavering questions about “how often do you think about sex” to a child, would you? Once she has the advantage, Betty tells Werther that his attempt to enforce compulsive, correct (read, repressed) heterosexual norms on her have utterly failed. “I don’t think I want to get married.” When she says that she wants to have “an impact in the world” rather than “just have a family,” Werthers is so upset at the extent of his failure that he looks like he might cry. Betty Cooper is some sort of peak genius person, because to get ‘I want to have a career and possibly never get married’ from the weeks and weeks of slut shaming disguised as therapy is a rare accomplishment of historic proportions. Round 1 for Betty!

This is Riverdale being (intentionally? accidentally?) brilliant. The loveliness of the wedding, the joy of wearing a pretty dress and having everyone fuss over you and celebrate you on that day, is a recruitment tool for the female side of the marital union (legally speaking, the female side of marriage has always been absolutely shit, you know it has, even if the union itself is happy and fulfilling and loving), exactly like how really gorgeous army uniforms (the ones that are recycled and referenced even now in high fashion and consumer items!) were a major way to get young men to sign up to be exhausted canon fodder. Moreover, it’s not the enticement of the clothes and the ceremony itself that suffices - there needs to be a concerted societal effort to brainwash the hapless participant into truly believing that joining up has immense meaning. Without this concerted effort, marriages don’t happen and neither do military volunteers.

At school the next day, Veronica Lodge, is promoting her theater by giving out free tickets to a showing of a James Dean double feature: East of Eden and Rebel without a cause. She’s flanked by her two gay boyfriend minions, who are dressed the same - checked shirts covered up with a Mr. Rogers style cardigan with contrast piping. She keeps wearing purple, and her clothes are still quite demure, for Veronica. A dark purple dress with a full skirt below the knee, high neckline, short sleeves, and a big bow sash at the waist. You can see what a tiny human she is by how gigantic the girls and boys who are getting their free tickets look next to her.

With a KSHH! sound, the ‘show’ tells us that this is Veronica’s arc by writing her name across the screen in Archie Comics font - ice blue edges outlining a bright white center. Cheryl, as ‘president of the James Dean fanclub’ want to know what all this is about. She’s rather irked that Veronica has decided to do this celebration of James Dean without involving Cheryl. Riverdale is as much a hick town as Veronica has already called it, because they’ve been waiting months for a chance to see East of Eden. When Veronica says she has a print of East of Eden, Cheryl counters that she prefers the screen at nearby Greendale because it’s larger. She also coins a new term, too, does Cheryl- Deanizens - to denote her posse. Veronica offers her free passes, which Cheryl jumps for, so Veronica attaches conditions: The club has to spread the good word about the Babylonium. (Wealthy Cheryl jumping to clutch free tickets is very apt commentary on the wealthy).

Cheryl is ultra powerful - she can deliver the James Dean Fanclub, the Vixens and the Bulldogs. Archie when trying to console Veronica back in earlier episodes that Cheryl is “just like that” and “nobody listens to her” were all lies. Like truly - she is the most powerful girl in this school, and it’s not just money either, because Julian has access to (or possibly, is considered the sole true heir because the Blossoms hate women throughout time) the same money and yet he’s routinely punched in the face and overridden by others, and constantly has to bring up his daddy and his money.

Veronica refuses to concede influence of this magnitude to Cheryl. The competitive energy between Cheryl and Veronica in this universe - which was set up and dissipated almost right away in the OG universe - is sort of funny. Veronica is so obsessed with Cheryl that she is willing to throw business interests to the side to win a mere conversation. She should examine the intensity of her feelings about Cheryl a bit more closely.

Kevin because he’s stupid as well as hated by me dares to question Veronica’s tactic of giving away tickets to the movie for free (even as he’s been participating in doing this for some time). She explains that the real money is made at the concession stand, not via box office. Clay and Kevin together want to know why she entered that dick measuring contest with Cheryl over inviting the Bulldogs - “Is it all the Bulldogs or just one Bulldog in particular?” they ask.

See, this is the problem with gay boyfriends in fiction - they goad the girls they befriend into going out on risky limbs in wonky ways. Actual gay boyfriends tend to make you sit down and examine yourself closely.

Veronica has taken it upon herself to break into the boy’s locker room to distribute her free movie tickets. This is some gender outlaw behavior to me. I had to try to uh, rescue a very upset little boy who got overwhelmed by his first solo trip to the men’s room (because his mother, my relative, was preoccupied with a nasty diaper disaster in the women’s bathroom) and even though the boy was visibly standing there in the middle of the bathroom crying every time a man went in or out and I was clearly there to fetch him, I found it too terrifying to actually GO INTO the men’s room, and instead eventually coaxed him out by cooing at him from afar (my throat almost collapsed from the strain.). I just couldn’t do it.

Anyway, so she’s in there, timing her visit to meet the boys just as they would be done with practice. There’s like, barking noises the guys are making at each other as they enter because that’s normal human behavior (Sports people are SO WEIRD). Fangs, Archie and Reggie are shirtless, displaying their obviously oiled bodies that scream that none of these guys ever eat carbs, but they initially looked comical to me because their shorts seemed hiked up eunuch high. Then I paused the screen because I am a horny bitch and I realized that they were just super high waisted shorts. Oh OK .

Fangs is just a ridiculous, charisma free dumdum and doesn’t know the difference between Twinkle and Tinsel. Veronica offers him a free pass to the Babylonium James Dean evening anyway. Well, she offers his tits the tickets - eyes are on his face when she says “I want to personally” but at the word OFFER they go right downwards. She does the same to Archie (talk to his face out of manners but looks down because she can’t not and really truly, Veronica is a girl after my own heart in so many ways). She gives Archie less attention though, because she’s seen all that before.

Fangs is so pleased with himself for no reason that he does a walk like a 5 year old who has pooped his pants and is trying to pass it off as something cool (Dude WHAT is that WALK).

Reggie is one cool customer. He knows that Veronica is there for him and only him, so even though all the other guys move immediately to their lockers for their free tickets, Reggie keeps still, in his pec poppin’ pose, allowing Veronica’s approach. Veronica channels Lauren Bacall to ask Reggie if he knows what James Dean used to do in high school (it’s really the same tone as “You do know how to whistle, don’t you Steve?” aimed at Bogie). He was a basketball player, is what she tells Reggie, who apparently did NOT know (oh but yeah, because his town didn’t have a theater and he didn’t own a tv). Veronica is so cute when she singsongs - “a basketball star, just - like - you!’ I’m fascinated that she does NOT look down at Reggie’s pecs, keeping her bright eyes on his face the whole time. (Well done Veronica.).

Something about Reggie’s face indicates that somehow this gambit worked, when all the other ones have not at all, to date. Is it because she said the words basketball and star within 3 words of ‘you’?

Reggie shows up to the double screening, buying a quarters’ worth of popcorn. Veronica, instead of taking his money, suggests that he could treat her to a milkshake after her work is done. Reggie admires her - “You just keep shooting, don’t you?” is what he says, which is pretty neutral, but his face is fond. I also think it’s hilarious that someone as gorgeous as Veronica , complete with her knowing tone of voice, is supposed to be working this hard to get some dude (even one with Reggie’s face) to ask her out, but it’s television so I’ll let it pass. He says Sure, to the date, but then pays anyway. Oh what a great egg.

Kevin bursts Veronica’s bubble of happiness by summoning her to the projection room. It turns out these three children who are running this movie house didn’t check that the movie reels they were going to load into the projector for this big screening at this ‘sold out’ showing. I have no idea how movie reels and all that are supposed to work so if I am wrong about the projectionist capacity to check that the reels he’s received are in good working order before the day of the actual showing, please do let me know. (I suspect not, however, because Veronica didn’t seem like she was lying when she told Cheryl that she already had the films in hand for her double feature earlier on in the day (or week).

Veronica is someone who never lacks for courage, so she marches right down to her patrons to announce that there is, in fact, a problem. She’s trying to warm up to telling them the bad news when Fangs is the first to interrupt to tell her to hurry up. I hate Fangs second only to Uncle Fucking Frank. Cheryl knows what’s coming as soon as Veronica says ‘technical difficulties. Cheryl stands up to immediately demand a refund, and having received the tickets for free counts as nothing, because Cheryl knows how the movie house makes its money - through its concession sales. Again, Cheryl the wealthiest teen in Riverdale making this much of a fuss about money is saying something about the moneyed class and though it’s at Cheryl’s cost, I think it’s true to life. Veronica tries to parry by offering vouchers, but this ploy is so transparent that even Fangs catches on that it’s worthless. The audience starts pelting Veronica with the popcorn they want refunds for, with Cheryl adding the cherry on top of the turd: It’s like Jimmy Dean died all over again!

(If only she knew that Veronica was indirectly responsible for Jimmy Dean dying the first time! Apparently, 1950s Archie is not one for kissing and telling.)

As the last person gets their refund, Reggie, who has been patiently waiting all this time, approaches Veronica. She regretfully tells him that she just can’t do a thing today, but she wants to still go out with him. Smiling all cute, so cute I wanna jump up and down to try to reach his cheeks to pinch him, Reggie makes a graceful exit.

In the executive suite at the movie theater, where it looks messy enough for Veronica to be running several businesses, Veronica is on the phone taking the film distributor to task. The old fart on the phone is all oily, offering his “deepest apologies for this mishap.” She is not to be mollified - Veronica actually wants the prints of East of Eden. When she pushes he says there are no available prints. With her two boyfriend lackeys listening on the other line, Veronica has to endure a lecture from someone who sent her defective prints that as the owner, “it’s always your problem.” Clay finds it extremely suspicious that a studio would simply ‘run out’ of prints for its biggest release of the year. Kevin is useless because of course he is.

Veronica is in a very fetching seriously business colored navy dress. She wants the boys to work the phones, and somehow they are able to get all these apparently big-wig executives on the phone. She is hunting for something “exciting, fresh” unlike the crusty old East of Eden. She wants To Catch a Thief, or Oklahoma, or Night of the Hunter, but as one guy puts it, “Riverdale isn’t a market we’re interested in cultivating.”

This made me laugh. Riverdale, formerly not really in America somehow, is too cruddy for capitalist entertainment to be interested in its money. She’s also told that her particular theater is too small, so “please don’t call us again.” At the end of this very long series of discouraging phone calls, Veronica is finally given the hint: It’s her parents that have caused her to be blacklisted by every major studio in Hollywood. The Lodges of this universe want “to see everyone but themselves fail, including their own daughter.” The Lodges’ idea for what to do with this real estate of the theater is a nice Joni Mitchell reference but not a very good business idea - lack of parking does not seem to be a problem that Riverdale’s residents have ever complained about even in the future. What need is there for a parking lot in a town that’s surrounded by vast swatches of woodland?

Clay has an idea because he’s useful as a human. He suggests trying for independent films i.e. B movie studios. Veronica doesn’t even know what the names of these “small studios are” but it’s always so nice to see her perfect little face light up with the possibility of business revival.

In super tight close ups, which is glorious when it’s Betty and ovary-imploding when it’s Werthers, the two are at it again. This time, Werthers wants to know what Betty’s sexual dreams are. I think Betty answers because grotesque as her interrogator and this whole situation is, there’s really nobody else for her to speak frankly about sex with.

Betty dreams about being a teacher who molests Archie Andrews. This is apparently a score that the show’s makers still feel very salty about six years later. I suppose it’s hard to be confronted with the fact that you are Old and the Youngs have evolved beyond set ups that you were wrongly raised to think was hot in the ignorant before-times. School teacher Betty of her sex dreams (these aren’t so much dreams as her actual sex fantasies, I would think?) wears very tight fitting clothes that display bra straps and cleavage. And glasses, for some reason (Oh -because Grundy was bespectacled. Which as a spectacles wearer I object to, sigh. It’s bad enough being four-eyes, RAS.) She would slithery-sexy with Archie and Jughead, but she would beat Fangs with a stick and I am ALL FOR THIS. So, Archie, Jughead, Fangs, Reggie (who looks like he can’t believe his luck) and then - Veronica.

Veronica.

VERONICA??

So, to bookend how the show started, we are shown Archie as a minor making out with a teacher, except physically the actor playing him isn’t any older than he is (by much) and he himself looks the actor’s physical age. The soundtrack insists HE’S IN LOVE!! DOO-DOO-DOO as Betty-Teacher and Archie-Student make out in the sunlit classroom of Betty’s dream. The dream progresses to the Teacher laying Archie down on the desk to undress him and kiss his tit like we’re in some sort of gender-and-consent-flip schoolgirl hentai.

Look, Roberto, you were wrong to think anyone would find the Grundy-rapes-Archie storyline hot. I know that to you, the fact that much of the fandom would simply know to use the correct word - rape - when the ‘situation’ involves a pretty older woman predating on a handsome minor who is both taller and bigger than her, but you should’ve just taken your lumps. Because you were wrong. Your middle-aged-man self using Betty Cooper in her I’m a Sexualized Pretty Teen Girl Arc to insist that WE ALL have this teacher-rapes-a-child fantasy is actually quite ugly.

Plus I’ve been a teenage girl and NO WE DON’T. (Yes, I speak for all women who want to have sex with men and I am right.) NO WE DON’T! NONE OF US HAVE THIS FANTASY, IT’S NEVER EXISTED EXCEPT IN YOUR MIND. You were wrong the first time, and got defensive, and though you seemed to finally learn that this might have been a harmful, traumatic experience for Archie (and not just because Grundy was murdered by Betty’s dad), you’re regressing to your pre S1 creator self and honey, don’t do that!

Anyway, Betty says that her dreams get hot and heavy, until she realizes that everyone is watching. Everyone are: Reggie, who wants a better look, Cheryl frozen solid, Veronica wistful, Jughead looking very grim, Dilton fascinated, Kevin with his hands tensely clenched, Fangs open mouthed and Clay wondering why he has to be here and when he is expected to ever learn actual biology. (There is no Toni nor Tabitha.) There are eight more extras that I don’t care about. Betty-Teacher is at first a bit startled, but then decides this is also a turn on, and proceeds to molest her student some more.

Riverdale seems to think that a girl keeping a diary is a bad idea when her mother is Alice Cooper. Betty is really weird about her diary. It’s like she’s proud of keeping one, though those tedious women who wanted to marry the important Ernest also kept diaries and were ridiculous people. Even though she knows - or has good reason to suspect - that she is not being granted any sort of patient’s rights in this ‘therapeutic’ relationship she has with Werthers, she still nevertheless mentions that she puts all her sex fantasies /dreams into this diary. Is this a desire to be known better by her mother??

Werthers, after sexualizing Betty 1:1 all this time, has the temerity to ask HER where HER urge to be seen in “a sexualized way” comes from. Betty Cooper with her beautiful eyes looking right at me and saying what the narrative, the show, or maybe RAS wants her to say - that she’s doing all the things she’s done in S7 so far because she wants “to be seen, period” and also “as a person with autonomy and desire and self determination.”

OK so up until this point I felt very hypnotized because Betty is really so intriguing but then comes this asinine statement that means the middle aged men putting this show together are still trying to justify - and even worse - anticipate in advance the avalanche of negative reactions, ranging from mild distaste all the way to rage and bitter disappointment, of making Betty Cooper, sufferer of serial killer DNA, unwitting bearer of her mother’s trauma, survivor at the hands of an evil father, expert basher of people’s skulls - a kind of sex doll for this final season. “What better way to understand a person than to understand their desires?”

Oh get the fuck away from me. People waste time on all sorts of desires that have nothing to do with what they quote unquote really want from life. This feels unnecessarily condescending, and they are still trying to have the last word in this world where no creator can have that expectation. As soon as you release this thing, makers, it’s ours to pull apart and recook as we see fit. And you’re wrong. This arc that you’ve put Betty on where she acts out sexually in ways that give her no clitoral contact and hence no satisfaction but gives lots of voyeuristic unilateral pleasure to men (and mostly men) both in the show and I guess in the audience who are into that sort of thing TAUGHT ME NOTHING ABOUT BETTY WHATSOEVER.

Veronica goes to the Diner and she runs into Jughead, who still looks very sad and teary eyed. She calls in Holden Caulfield again, but he is too depressed for quips. She runs her only available movie idea by Jughead, and he says he loved the cool monster, “Mr Rayberry loved it too.” One of the things I really love about Jughead is that he freely shares a lot of ideas with women in his life. He was all about solving Betty’s mysteries for her, then ceding credit to her so she thought she solved it. Now, he nicely suggests, without mansplaining or other forms of condescension, that Veronica try a neat little 4D gimmick, name dropping “William Castle.” The Tingler had electric shock distributions under the seats. Veronica understands him immediately - “Sell the gimmick, not the movie.”

Betty comes home from doing a 1:1 with one gross wrinkly old man to be confronted with another one sitting with her mother. He’s here to hear her confession and uh, do an exorcism if need be, Har Har. It turns out that Werthers ‘prescribed’ the reading of her daughter’s sexually explicit journals to Alice which is - really, Alice is not my favorite, but erotica written by virgins tends to be REALLY TRULY very wild, so I can only imagine the afternoon that Alice has had. Betty suggests that Alice might be better off coming to therapy with her. Alice has a wonderful line - “I’m a grown woman, I don’t need therapy!” She thinks what her mother did was ‘breaking and entering’ rather than ‘violation of privacy’ or just, you know, ‘betraying my trust.’

I thought it was really very strange phrasing, until of course, Betty storms out of her home, muttering, ‘breaking and entering’ to herself like no person has ever done in the history of ever, and decides to ‘break and enter’ into Werther’s office. She manages to get his desk open, and finds comic books, slingshots, and a copy of Lolita. Any sort of hidden book she finds - starting with Ethel’s copy of the ‘sex book’ - Betty feels compelled to read, so she takes it. She clearly doesn’t know what it is.

She goes to the diner, where basically Jughead is making like Lucy Van Pelt at her therapy booth. He is just sitting and reading all of his mentor’s works one by one. He’s been having a sort of one man wake for his buddy the dead writer. I love Jughead for things like this. Brad Rayberry seemed like an exceptionally solitary, friendless person, so he must be very pleased in the afterlife that he made this much of an impact on this one kid. Betty calls Jughead a bookworm, then sidles in to ask him about Lolita.

Jughead knows exactly what it is. ‘Holy moly!” He calls it salacious, then describes the plot. When Betty hears exactly how young Dolores Haze is, she immediately draws something very close to the right conclusion. What she says is, “So it’s a book for perverts?!” but of course, the truth about Lolita is that it’s a book misread by perverts. Jughead says the silencing thing that men always say about things that get them off, especially if they know it’s objectionable on human rights grounds (i.e. on the grounds that female humans are fully human like men are): “Passing moral judgment on a work of art is a slippery slope.”

No, it isn’t, but I have no space to get into it here. Though this discussion intrigues Betty, what Jughead has to say about a book in which an adult ‘professor’ man ‘has an affair’ with a 12 year old child makes her not want to talk to Jughead too much, so she skips (literally runs) away, book in hand, to go find out for herself about this ‘work of art.’

Under her sheets, Betty is reading Lolita under a flashlight.

At school, Veronica is trying to sell the experience of watching “The Crawling Eye” at her classmates. She’s wearing blue check gingham, and Cheryl, who can’t keep her legs closed and keeps swinging them when she’s in Veronica’s vicinity, is in red check. This has to mean something. Veronica says that it’s playing for one night only Cheryl calls the film “dreck” as well as old (“came out a few years ago”). The depth of Cheryl’s film knowledge is startling to Veronica, but she soldiers on, stoutly touting that her film will be shown in 4D, insisting that it’s not 3D but a fourth, new dimension. At this moment, Long Duk Dong with an American accent (that is to say, 1950s Dilton, who I dislike 3rd after UF Frank and Fangs) bursts out with some dorky factoid that time is the 4th dimension. Cheryl approves of this, smiling smugly down at Veronica from her leg swinging perch. Veronica swats Dilton down with a simple “Shut up, Dilton.” She has her boys handout novelty eyeballs, which Cheryl wants nothing to do with, but they pop it into her little bag anyway.

Then Veronica forces Clay and Kevin (Klay? Clevin?) to cover their balls with newspaper. She actually says this, and says they have to dry the balls completely so she can do the “paint job.” She says these things like they’re some sort of sexual innuendo, but thank god, no. Then she goes to wait for Archie and Reggie, who she knows have to go home together because they sleep in the same room. Archie is extremely animated as he talks to Reggie, almost skipping ahead of him. “Just the two strapping he-men” she wanted, Veronica says. She’s there to hire them as performers for her 4d experience.

Archie immediately demurs - “We’re not actors!” they have KJ Apa say. He looks whole-milk wholesome and goofy as he says this, but then, as Reggie remains deadly serious, he alters his face entirely to imitate that weighty look, even lowering his voice a register or two, so find out “what exactly” he and Reggie are being asked to do. Archie has never been as adorable to me as he is this season, but if any one of the S1-6 Jugheads saw this he’d totally have done a murder suicide right there on the school steps. Veronica wants to compensate them handsomely for two minutes of work. Reggie can’t say no to an offer like that, so Archie is also down for the count.

Betty is just walking down the school corridor, and tells Werther that she will not be attending their session this day because she’s too busy reading something very interesting, which will be discussed tomorrow.

So it’s like I thought - she doesn’t necessarily HAVE TO do this. She kind of wants to do it, because he’s letting her at least think about and talk about sex as much as she wants, even if it’s for really grotesque reasons. She needs an outlet, but the call of Nabokov turns out to be stronger.

At the showing of the movie, the eyeballs they have as novelty gifts are truly very gruesome. Dilton has somehow been roped into volunteer duty handing out flyers. Cheryl shows up, and Veronica practically leaps over to accost her. Cheryl’s very presence is a victory for Veronica, you see. She shows off for Cheryl’s benefit, telling her oh, she might die of fright and if she merely faints, there’s a nurse on duty! No matter what she says, she just looks so pleased that Cheryl is there that fails to come off as threatening or mean.

The nurse on duty turns out to be Midge in a jokey nurse costume. Cheryl is annoyed that she wasn’t invited to be a part of Veronica’s campaign, so she takes it out on Midge instead (“I am extremely disappointed in you!”) before whipping around to tell Veronica that if this experience sucks, she will use her crowd rousing powers to make sure Veronica loses money this night as well. Veronica is quite nervous.

The 4D experience turns out to be (1) 3d glasses (2) a fog machine and (3) archie and Reggie in really fantastic eyeball with tentacles costumes feeling people up in the audience with those costumes.

Midge is into tentacle porn. Her willingness to fuck Fangs is now fully explained to me. The emergence of these tentacle monsters makes Midge plant one on Fangs.

Cheryl is having a wonderful time. She’s laughing joyfully. The crowd begins to chant, “Go Eyes! Go Eyes!” while Veronica, up in the projection booth, is very pleased by her own success.

Betty goes barging into Werther’s office to toss Lolita on the desk to demand what he’s doing with that book. He is an absolute candidate for a summary execution. He says that by learning about Lolita’s mind, he was hoping to better understand Betty’s.

Which only proves he didn’t read the book, because Humbert Humbert never understands or even thinks that Lolita has a mind. He just wants to (and does) fuck her barely pubescent body, because that’s the kind of thing that gets him off sexually. At the description of Dolores as “a sex crazed young woman” (he really hasn't read the book) Betty goes off. Her rant - all of which is perfectly correct - ends with “I no longer feel comfortable being alone in a room with you.”

This has all the hallmarks of the kind of movie that Aishwarya Rai has made, where she is oppressed and put upon until she erupts in a long interrupted speech of righteous indignation. Then she stomps off.

The thing is, Betty making the leaps that she makes in Werther’s terrible so-called therapy were completely unconnected to what was actually said during them, and that book Lolita suddenly giving Betty all this, uh Betty Friedan type of insight is also ludicrous. This has the feeling of shoving in pseudo-feminist points because what the show makers really wanted to do was accuse all of us of having their personal hot-for-teacher fantasies. (No, we don’t).

The next night ,Veronica is amazed to see the blockbuster crowd at her theater. Unfortunately, it turns out that Reggie and Archie don’t want to service her balls anymore. She thinks they’re angling for a raise, but they genuinely don’t want to do this anymore. Archie because he wants to look at Reggie play with balls and give him balls and things like that, and Reggie because this form of after school Arbeit is too undignified for him, and he doesn’t like being an employee of the girl he has a crush on. As soon as Archie delivers the form of notice that Reggie has clearly made him do, Reggie asks out Veronica a second (or is it third?) time, but Veronica is yet again too busy, this time because her show is a success. They’ll try again tomorrow, she says, after she’s called Variety to let her parents know that they haven’t beaten her yet.

The Lodges communicate via press releases, apparently.

Speaking of communication: Back at the Cooper house, Alice is mad that Werthers ‘giving up’ on Betty. (Werthers realizes that Betty might end his career, so he’s officially ‘fired’ her as a client.) Alice very much wants someone to ‘fix’ Betty but I guess not spend any money on this problem, so she’s about to call Werther’s back when Betty Cooper really does become Betty Friedan. She diagnoses her 1950s picture perfect housewife mother (who moreover has some species of career) with being unhappy with a nameless, unnameable problem. When Betty hits that sore spot, Alice turns around and says immediately that perhaps therapy for Elizabeth is a bad idea after all. “Talk to me,” Betty begs. “I’m right here.” She also asks if Alice is afraid FOR her or afraid OF her. Before the conversation can get anywhere worthwhile, they are interrupted by the patriarchy, in the form of the doughy Hal Cooper, emerging from his deep dark hole to call Alice a wonderful mother and wife who has sacrificed so much, just sooo much, for Betty. He summarily sends Betty to her room when Betty wants to know exactly what was sacrificed on her behalf.

The next morning, Betty wants to try reconciling with Alice, to “try to find a path forward.” The thing is, Alice Cooper in all universes has a hateful relationship with the truth, and since Betty told her not one but two major truths (she is afraid OF Betty, and she is otherwise unhappy) she lashes out by disowning Elizabeth altogether. Alice Cooper, I’ve said before, is someone who should be a very serious free-abortion-on-demand advocate because that’s what she should have done. I wonder if Riverdale knows that this is the character portrayal they are putting out - an illustration of a woman who should’ve had an abortion each time she got pregnant, and didn’t get to, and what happens to her in the aftermath. “Marveolous” is what Alice says at the prospect of a teen daughter who doesn’t need or want the kind of mother (castrating. p.s. Oh hey, Germaine Greer’s “Female Eunoch” reference) Alice wants to be. She also hates the task of being a domestic worker if any kind - “You can make your own damn breakfast” she says.

The smokey eyes on Alice first thing in the morning make her eyes bewitchingly cat-like.

That evening, Reggie is waiting for Veronica with a sweet bouquet of flowers. It’s already been half an hour. Kevin turns out to be an amazing retail worker, diligently wiping down the counters while Veronica is back on the phone with that Roth guy, the one who failed to get her the proper prints of East of Eden. She’s managed to get the Variety reporter to take dictation:

“Boffo B.O. for Babylonium: Riverdale Exhib Draws Eyeballs with Crawling Eye.” That alliteration plus strange word choice is Veronica Lodge through and through. Her gambit to use Variety as the platform to announce her resurgence in the world is turning out very successful.

In a bit of fanservice (rather than show maker masturbation which is the whole Grundy non-apology using Betty), Roth says he’s “always been a fan of Riverdale. Great town. Superb audiences!” to which Veronica says, “It’s like no place else Mr. Roth.” She’s now going to get a proper print of East of Eden. She’s wearing a pinstripe print, to mark her success. Later on, we see that she is wearing a black belt with a rhinestone buckle and a string of pearls with this. It looks amazing.

By the time Veronica has wrapped things up with Peter Roth and come down to meet her date, Reggie has left because he was tired of waiting. He’s left the bouquet for Veronica, because he’s a gentleman. Veronica is pensive over the fact that she has managed her time badly. Because that’s what it means, right? They’re not doing that stupid thing where they are saying a woman who has to try to lift her business of the ground has to choose between having a persona life and success, right?

When Veronica tries to go home after a long tiring day, she finds that her locks have changed. Smithers, who is loyal to no one other than his own paycheck, has changed the locks on her, so as to be able to report her genuine distress to her parents properly I guess, and also informs her that her parents deeply resent her roarin’ success. Veronica never loses her equanimity, so she says “a crawling eye for a crawling eye.” She is going to move into her own theater, to live there homeless while she gets her business fully launched. This has happened to her, of course, in other universes. Even though Veronica is always wealthy, ridiculously so sometimes, she also suffers consistent bouts of being ‘unhoused’ as the show calls it, same as Jughead.

The song the soundtrack plays is about how sometimes you’ve “got to start at the bottom.”

Unsurprisingly, we transition over to Jughead, who has finally gotten to the end of his wake for Rayberry. He’s finished the last word on the last published work by the authors, so he’s ready for the check now. Jughead says that “Time passes. Seasons change. Life moves on, you know?” as well as “I’m ready to move on.” Of course, as a Jughead and Riverdale fan I can’t help but hear something meant for me in the “I’m not done mourning, but I think I’m done wallowing.” I mean. Jughead’s version of wallowing while mourning was to read all of Rayberry’s work. I’m retreading all the episodes, in one form or another. But the show is wrong. I don’t want anyone involved in the show to move on. I want all y’all to be trapped in Riverdale forever and ever and ever.

Pop’s is glad to hear that Jughead is ready to get on with his life.

But of course, Riverdale the town won’t let him move on with anything ever. Keller comes in with sirens blazing (why?) to tell Jughead that he is going to need help ‘solving’ Rayberry’s suicide.

So much for moving on, Jughead says, sardonically.

#Riverdale recap #riverdale episode summary #riverdale s7 e9 #riverdale episode 126 #lolita mention #riverdale opinion #too many thoughts about riverdale #riverdale s7 recap #riverdale s7 #riverdale episode recap #Riverdale s6

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fan-cam · 2 years ago

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2022 Wrap up (4 Top 5)

Hello and happy holidays! Over the last few weeks I have been pouring over lists of the top albums, songs and movies of 2022, thrilled to see what the world (or at least high budget magazines) are saying about these past twelve months. This year has felt a little more ‘normal’ (not really sure what that word means anymore, or if it even should exist) than the past two and as a result we have received a lot of exciting art.

If I love anything, its making lists. I love keeping track of what media I have consumed, things I need to buy, people I have been romantic with (zodiac signs included), and ranking my various ‘best of’s’. Below you will find 4 lists of my Top 5 of 2022; TV shows, movies, albums and songs. Each selection is deserving of its own several page deep-dive, but I limited myself to a one-sentence review of each as I know attention spans are quite fleeting these days (my own included). Please enjoy and share your own thoughts!

TV Shows:

HOT D, Season 1

Game of Thrones with a bigger budget, advanced technology and more feminism.

2. Rings of Power, Season 1

Like HOT D, Lord of the Rings but with more than just white men, and a $1M/minute budget (yes, you read that right).

3. Our Flag Means Death, Season 1

Taika Waititi’s new project about gay pirates—do I need to say anything more?

4. Derry Girls, Season 3

Martin Scorsese likes this show, so if my endorsement isn’t enough for you his should be.

5. The Summer I Turned Pretty, Season 1

I feel like most of my life is trying to get back to being a teenage girl and this show really did that for me.

Movies:

Bones and All, Luca Guadagnino

A coming of age cannibal love story that makes you scream, jump, plug your ears, cover your eyes, laugh and cry—what more could you want?

2. Aftersun, Charlotte Wells

Beautiful imagery, incapacitatingly sad plot (my favorite juxtaposition).

3. X, Ti West

A love letter to horror film, chock full of references that made me feel like all my years spent on horror amounted to something.

4. Bodies, Bodies, Bodies, Halina Rejin

I love blood, I love girls, I love a whodunit, I love jokes—this is my dream film, also Pete Davidson is in it.

5. Tar, Todd Field

This movie is making fun of high-brow art which is funny because this movie is loved by people who love high-brow art.

Albums:

Preacher’s Daughter, Ethel Cain

A 75-minute concept album tackling love, abuse, lots of God, sex and being cannibalized with memorizing vocals, quite the feat for a debut LP.

2. Being Funny in a Foreign Language, The 1975

From dick jokes and a pop song about incel mass shootings to devastating breakup anthems, this album makes you experience most emotions.

3. Renaissance, Beyoncé

This album proves that Beyoncé can literally do anything well; a disco-club-banger-no-skips album invocative of the 70s but that absolutely hits in 2022? No problem. (sorry, this is technically two sentences)

4. Motomami, ROSALIA

Being A Bad Bitch in a Foreign Language: I have no idea what she’s saying but the emotion she conveys through her voice and the flawlessly produced beats transcend language.

5. Caprisongs, FKA Twigs

Another club-banger of an album which deals with being both hot and sad at the same time, relatable.

Songs:

Part of the Band, The 1975

There is so much to say about this song but the ‘Vaccinista, tote bag chic baristas’ line changed my life and I haven’t been the same since.

2. Killer, FKA Twigs

She called this ‘a song for baddies with a tear in their eyes’ and I cannot say anything better.

3. Anti-Hero, Taylor Swift

Famous for being vulnerable, Taylor reaches a new level of honesty with this song, expressing the very unrelatable difficulties that come along with being Taylor Swift in an extremely relatable way.

4. Hard Times, Ethel Cain

A song about a horrific topic, sung in the most ethereal way with stunning guitar accompaniment— once again, we love juxtaposition on this blog.

5. Weird Goodbyes, The National Ft. Bon Iver

The saddest lyrics you will ever hear, overlayed with a sick 808 beat.

#2022review #songsof2022 #moviesof2022 #albumsof2022 #tvshowsof2022 #tv #movies #films #music

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siromany · 29 days ago

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for the ask meme: how about my dear friend atticus fubuki tenjoin rhodes 🌴

Beloved Fubuki who I scream and cry every day he is not in duel links DESPITE HIS ACE MONSTER BEING IN THERE FOR LITERAL YEARS!!!!

Why I like them/why I don’t

I love Fubuki so fucking much he's genuinely such a funny and tragic character. We spend an entire season with baited breath for Asuka's arc of getting him home, and his first appearance he's a super goth with a sickass expansion of making Red Eyes an archetype. All spooky ass n shit and gets his shit wrecked and when he's finally conscious we get our beloved Fubuki Tenjoin, Hawaiian shirted and supposedly carefree. Asuka spends all of season 1 pensive about getting him back and when he's finally back shes like "oh god that's right." His whole "I'm so laid back and chill and livin' life (:" behavior is DEFINITELY not overcompensation for the hell he fucking lived in THE LITERAL NOTHING. Also the fact that he had been gone so long he's gotta repeat his school year, but he's gonna do fuckall instead because what the hell? Just got back from being in the fucked up and horrible alchemy experiment to harness the power of Apathy Incarnate, and now it's back to homework??? Personal hot take but I cope from the painfully straight scenes with the thought of him compensating for whatever unresolved gender and sexuality feelings he has. Literally in all those scenes he's either projecting something onto his sister, or for when his fangirls are after him he's ALWAYS deflecting them or trying to hide, he never truly accepts their advances.

What I like about their appearance

THE JACKET. THE SHOULDER PADS. THE MASK. Literally his Darkness design imprinted so hard on my brain I made a ripoff of it for an oldass comic I did YEARS ago. Beyond his sickass evil magical girl form, he is a part of what I affectionately refer to as the Normal Hair Club, in which this kind of character can easily translate into a realistic hair style. There's something special to me about the yugioh characters with very plain hair, you know? Also big fan of when he wears his normal school outfit bc it's one of the power throuple seniors unique jackets.

Do I prefer their dub names or original names?

I have to be 100% honest the GX names are so fucking funny to me because they are some of the MOST 4kids dub names I've ever seen. The saddest thing about GX to me is how the puns for Fubuki and Manjoume's names are not able to translate over. I am tho big in the corner of original names (its the old age Subs Are Superior muscle memory in me unfortunately but there's quite a few dub names I do enjoy.)

OTP

See OT3

NOTP

I honestly don't really vibe with him being shipped with anyone else? Also anyone who ships him with Asuka go eat bricks.

OT3

I'm a basic bitch who loves Fubuki Ryo and Fujiwara. I will NEVER forgive 4Kids for not dubbing season 4, taking away the important third point of the agony guys triangle. GIVE ME THESE THREE OR GIVE ME DEATH NO EXCEPTIONS. I do also really wish season 4 had gotten to show us more about these three's pasts together but thats the unfortunate way of final seasons for yugioh.

Favourite card they use

DARKNESS DRAGON DARKNESS DRAGON OURGHRHGHRGHRHGRHHEHEHEEE But also Metal Darkness Dragon? Second fav. Shiny as fuck.

Favourite moment they were in

Okay theres two okay, the duel where he's convinced Ryo has fallen into some darker influence when in actuality he's just in his freak era. I love these two looking like theyre about to hit up a goth rave. Second time is both fav but also mixed with a little ourgh of like, his duel with Fujiwara. I really wish he did actually win ): He doesn't really win a lot of duels but I really feel he deserved to save his friend there.

Least favourite moment

ANY PAINFULLY STRAIGHT MOMENT or when he's doing dumbass shit to his sister. (I have much to say about Asuka's treatment in the series that is for another day.)

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korolrezni-nikolai · 2 years ago

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klance starter pack fic list

making a klance fic rec list of the absolute must-reads all in one place! this will be in no particular order and is mainly for my use since the fandom is p dead lol.

Nightmares by Trashness

Summary: Lance's nightmares are getting out of control. It's affecting his and the team's performance, but he's at a loss for how to fix this. Apparently sleeping next to a warm body helps.

This was the first klance fic I read and it made me fall in love with this ship. I’ve re-read this fic multiple times since then and it’s a one-shot, quite short and sweet. I love it!

never saw you coming by dimpleforyourthoughts

Summary: Three months in space on his own would have been fine. Three months in space with Lance McClain is a whole other fucking story.

This fic. This fic ruined me and literally left me sobbing at 3 a.m. It’s also a one-chapter fic but has a hefty word count of 45K+ words and functions more as a drabble than anything. It’s a giant character study into Keith and his relationship with Lance and just how he grew up, met Shiro, etc. This fic made me fall in love with Keith as a character and is so so stunning.

so why don’t we fall by aknightley

Summary: Five times Lance used a pet name for Keith, and one time Keith used one for Lance.

Keith has no basis for having a relationship with someone, so he's trying to follow Lance's lead.

So anything by aknightley is pretty much a masterpiece but I especially adore this fic because its one of their much more lighter, softer ones and has Established Relationship Klance, so if you want a short 5+1 things fic that skips over all the angst and pining and goes straight to fluff, this one’s perfect for you! It’s such a sweet portrayal of Keith and Lance and just had me smiling at my phone.

part 1: there nestled against his pulse by hiuythn

Summary: "Found you!" Lance says, vaulting over the back of the couch. He lands with a soft thump that bounces Keith up in his seat. "Hey, I've got a question for you. You don't have to answer it, but, uh, have you met your soulmate?"

"No," says Keith, "I haven't.”

I shouldn't.

part 2: this is what love looks like: by hiuythn

Summary: Unlike Keith, Lance has to be dragged by his feet, bound and gagged, into this love. If there was a contest for the art of self-denial, he’d be the reigning champion.

part 3: roll credits by hiuythn

Summary: When Allura said, “You will explain everything to me,” she wasn’t kidding. “Can you still hear him?” she asks. She’s got a fucking datapad. She’s taking notes. “Yes,” Keith sighs. “He’s still singing Backstreet Boys.”

[post-TNAHP/TWILLL. Some asks from tumblr, some headcanons/extra scenes I haven’t shared yet.]

SOULMATES KLANCE!! That is definitely my favorite Klance trope and this is definitely the fic that started that obsession. Very famous in the fandom, this is a good 55K+ word, soulmate AU set in canon verse that has everything you could ever want: Enemies to Lovers, Langst, Regular Angst, Pining, Almost Major Character Death, etc. You should also definitely check out the sequel that follows major events from Lance’s point of view. To be honest, I actually love the sequel more because it’s such a beautiful deep-dive into Lance’s psyche and what makes him tick and also explores Lance’s experience at the Garrison and deals with out of fic events. But you definitely have to read TNAHP to understand the sequel! The sequel honestly made fall in love with Lance and he’s now my favorite character in VLD so. The sequel is also actually longer than the original fic word count-wise (the sequel cuts off at around 59K words, the original is at 55K+) and is a must-read if you enjoyed TNAHP!

There’s also a third part that I’ve linked, which has extra scenes and drabbles and is honestly so so cute and such a good dose of fluff after the angst and hurt/comfort of the first two that I couldn’t NOT include it.

katabasis by hiuythn

Summary: Keith's jetpack malfunctions.

So this is definitely the most angstiest and saddest fic I’m reccing so far. It absolutely ruined me and made me cry and re-evaluate all my life choices. That’s all I’m going to say. If you’re in the mood for some straight-up, hardcore Langst, this one’s for you.

skin hunger by hiuythn

Summary: Keith is touch-starved to the point of stupidity. Lance helps. Lance tries to help. Lance tries.

akjdjdjdjd THIS FIC IS SO SOFT AND SWEET AND CUTE. at this point, this list is basically just becoming hiuythn fics but I can’t help it! I had to include this fic after the damage the last one did. If katabasis is everything sad, skin hunger is everything happy. its a s3 AU with no clone!shiro and is more of a crackfic than anything, dealing with Keith going through Galran puberty and is hilarious and sweet all at the same time. we also get broganes and the way Klance’s relationship builds up is j *chef’s kiss* It’s a p short one-shot (only 12K+ words) and definitely the best thing for a pick me up! Slav and Keith’s interactions are also hilarious.

nothing’s quite as sweet by dimpleforyouthoughts

Summary: Keith is a barista who hates his job. Lance works at the cat shelter across the street.

So this is another gem by the amazing dimpleforyourthoughts and this fic is literally a ray of sunshine in this cold, dark, desolate world. It has kittens, coffee, side Shallura and cat cafes. Need I say more? Definitely an A+ comfort fic for the bad days.

Hearts Don’t Break Around Here by klancekorner

Summary: Lance and Keith have been best friends since first grade. Lance’s brain is always on overdrive and Keith’s blunt, realistic ass can never keep up. They both come to realize that sometimes you can learn a lot about loving yourself by loving someone else.

This is literally my favorite Klance fic ever, I’m sorry to all the masterpieces on this list and to all the others as well but this fic has my heart for all of eternity. It’s a 135K+ word monster of a fic and took me a good 2 days to finish and took my sanity as well. It’s such a raw and real fic and the way it captures Lance’s anxiety really hit me in the feels and made me fall in love with him further. I know what most of us are thinking- a friends-to-lovers fic? Really? But trust me give it a shot, the pining, the writing, the resolution, EVERYTHING is so good, you *have* to read it.

On Thin Ice by anonimina

Summary: This multi-chapter fic chronicles the lives of a hockey player named Keith who gets enlisted into figure skating lessons by his brother, Shiro, to "work on his footwork". There he meets a pompous - yet talented - figure skater named Lance and gets swept away by both the sport and the skater.

Or: the not-so-simple story of two people trying to navigate the complexities of living in an ever changing world and face the traumas they've buried far away from the sunlight.

(Russian Translation https://ficbook.net/readfic/5434480)

THIS FIC IS INCOMPLETE! I know most of you all will skip this because of that but it’s such a good fic that I had to include it despite that fact. It perfectly captures my Winter Olympics obsessions (Yuzuru Hanyu and Shoma Uno ftw) and has such good broganes and side Shallura. It’s also one of the few fics that acknowledge how talented and brilliant my Lancey boy is and has Keith showing him the appropriate amount of respect and amazement. I loved it and I do hope you love this incomplete 200K+ word fic too!

Not that Bad by varelsen

Summary: “Am I really going to have to explain this to you?” “No, I’m totally fine with you shutting up right about now.” Hunk cups his hands around his mouth. “You. Are crushing. On Keith.”

Or, a college AU featuring coffee shops, silly rivalries, motorcycles, arcade games, friendships, and lots of warm, fluffy feelings that are both confusing and delightful all at the same time.

One of the best Klance College AUs out there! It has awkward first impressions, Influencer Allura, and Keith on a motorcycle! It’s such a readable fic. It also sees the relationship slowly sort of dissolve into a benefits one and has such a natural flow to the relationship. It’s one of my most re-readable favs so defo check it out!

just come to me once by laallomri

Summary: Lance’s smile widens. He leans forward, and the prickling in Keith’s chest gives way to butterflies, fluttering wildly in his stomach, and oh wow has Lance always had this many freckles, has he always had eyelashes that long, has he—

Lance pokes his cheek, right over the Galra mark. Keith blinks.

“I can’t believe you and your mom have matching face tattoos now,” he says, and it’s so fucking dumb, but it’s exactly the kind of dumb thing Keith has longed to hear, and before he knows what he’s doing he’s surging forward, almost knocking Lance back against Red’s paw, and throwing his arms around him.

In which Keith lives on a space whale, goes on a road trip, and (eventually) gets a boyfriend.

I don’t even know how to encapsulate what this fic made me feel. It feels like the last day of school, the feeling you get when the ending credits roll on a really good Pixar/Disney movie. The feeling that songs like Fireflies or I Lived make you feel.

This fic also features a lot of POC, trans and queer rep and I for one loved all the Indian stuff in it. It’s also one of the few fics where Krolia and Keith’s relationship is explored in canon without being depressing so ofc i love it!!

Something Blue by starlightment

Summary: When Lance gets dumped by his fiancée just days before his entire family is flying out to visit, he finds himself trapped in a monumental lie. Now, with no bride-to-be, and no guts to admit the truth, he’s in desperate need of a pseudo-sweetheart — and fast. And Keith just so happens to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Fake dating Klance!! A truly blessed trope. We also see pining Keith and this is just such a well-written Modern AU, it had to go on the list!

part 1: Read All About It by starlightment

Summary: Keith is Altea High’s star athlete. And Lance, a wily reporter for the school newspaper, is crushing hard. The only problem? They’ve never actually met before. So when Lance decides to broadcast his long-hidden feelings in an explicitly romantic exposé, he ends up accidentally sparking a school-wide epidemic. Suddenly the entire student body is in on the drama, but are words truly enough to win over the school’s enigmatic heartthrob?

part 2: Read All About It: part 2 by starlightment

Summary: With a year of college and long-distance dating under their belts, Lance and Keith return home for the summer only to realize that life still has a few more challenges in store. Sequel to "Read All About It".

This is another masterpiece by starlightment!! I honestly can’t decide whether I like this better than Something Blue, but if you’re in the mood for high school feels and public confessions, this is definitely for you! Lance is also portrayed in such a talented light and I truly loved his characterization in the fic. Here, we have very heavy Langst and Lance pining instead of pining! Keith for a change too.

Part 2 is incomplete as of now but what’s there is very funny and sweet and a must-read if you loved the first one. Honestly, it’s kind of an extra scenes/moments work and has some post-fic things as well which I love to see since it has College Klance.

open your arms to me by aknightley

Summary: Lance quickly finds Keith’s communication signal and hits call.

A few seconds later, he realizes what he’s just done, panics, and immediately slams the 'end call' button.

“Shit!” he hisses through his teeth, throwing the tablet on the bed and recoiling away from it like it’s a poisonous snake rather than innocent alien technology. Its screen goes blank again, wiped clean the way he wishes his impulsive action could be. “What am I doing?”

So like I said, I love aknightley’s stuff (seriously- they could write their grocery list and I’d eat that shit up) but I love S4 fix-it fics with Long Distance Klance and BoM Half-Galran Keith and this one honestly takes the cake. It has such a nice build-up to the relationship and the pining is just amazing.

pushed up the window to kiss you off by aknightley

Summary: A series of conversations between Keith and Lance when they're apart but together, and the effects unrelenting thoughts can have on a very confused boy.

The worst part of deciding to leave had been telling Lance his plans -- no, the worst part had been that Lance had understood.

Another Klance S4 fix it fic by aknightley but this one is my more preferred one since it skips all the pining and goes straight to Established Relationship Klance, which aknightley honestly writes so beautifully!! Their relationship is also a secret and I truly loved the humor and how we see Keith deal with being a BoM member and all the bloodshed and sadness that comes with it.

all my reasons why, by tylerproposey

Summary: It starts off as an infatuation, nothing more than admiration for the entrancing blue eyed boy. It turns into a crush - something he’s never had - and suddenly every shade of blue reminds him of Lance. It ends with love, something deep and turbulent, really he never stood a chance.

This fic is very similar to never saw you coming and is honestly one of those hidden Klance gems that everyone HAS to read it. It once again shows Klance from Keith’s perspective in canon and the way the author captures Keith and Lance both is just stunning. I’d recommend reading the other fics by tylerproposey as well- I’m not including any on the list except for this one since it’s just *that* good. Their other fics are more Modern AUs and more plot, less pining than this one but equally as fun to read!

Tramps Like Us by PVB

Summary: “Do you play guitar?” Lance asks, holding up the pick.

“Yeah,” Keith replies

.“Are you good?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you just saying you’re good, or are you actually good?”

“Actually good,” Keith says defensively. “And why do you care anyway?”

Lance narrows his eyes at him. “I don’t know if I believe you.”

“I’ll prove it,” Keith says before he can think.

(High school marching band/Battle of the Bands AU. Keith is the new kid, Lance is trying to prove himself, Pidge is a musical prodigy, Hunk’s tired of stereotypes, Shiro and Allura are just trying to get people to stop calling them ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’, and Bruce Springsteen is still the Boss. Don’t ask about the lions.)

this is a fic very similair to the feels invoked by just come to me once by laallomri and I enjoyed this so much- it had me laughing out loud and rolling on the floor with all the shenanigans of the gang. I also love the side Shallura and Pidge, Hunk and Lance are just the right amount of crazy and weird in this!! The way Keith slowly finds a family in these crazy weirdos and also opens up to his dad is so sweet and made me cry. Such a good HS/band AU! It’s also perfect for 70s/80s rock n roll music geeks and really explores the music aspect of things!

all of these stars will guide us home by mayerwien

Summary: The space museum volunteers au, aka "my God, it's full of snarks."

Okay, damn I just can’t stop coming with all the Klance HS/teen AUs. But this one I had to put in because it’s just another one of those funny, smiling at my screen ones and I also adore the angsty broganes we see in this fic- once again, a Keith POV that shows him finding a family amongst Lance, Pidge and Hunk. It doesn’t have much (any) Allura in it but I can excuse that for how good it is!

Fake It Til You Make It by nikkiRA

Summary: “No, it’s not that –” Keith tries to backtrack. “We just – we –” he isn’t sure what he’s going to say, he just knows he has to say something before he and Lance are forced to have sex with some weird alien species, while also keeping the weird alien king happy enough to create an alliance with them.

But not for the first time and not for the last, Lance pulls through.

Of course, this time pulling through almost gives Keith a heart attack, because Lance slips his fingers through Keith’s so that they’re holding hands.

“What Keith here means to say,” Lance says, and although his voice is steady, he is gripping Keith’s fingers so tightly it’s painful. “Is that we can’t mate with your people, although we, um, appreciate the offer, because, well. We already are. M-mated, I mean. With, you know. Each other.”

Fake dating Klance once again! In canon this time and I mainly read it because it was written by nikkiRA (whose Solangelo stuff I adore) but I truly loved it! It is quite explicit though, since it has a (sort of) sex pollen trope as well so if you’re in the mood for smut, I’d definitely recommend this!

part 1: house on fire by ilgaksu

Summary: When Lance McClain is eighteen, he qualifies for the Olympics.

When he's nineteen, he meets Keith.

Correlation does not mean cause, until it totally does.

part 2: two ways to skin tonight by ilgaksu

Summary: “You can do this,” Keith’s coach tells him at seventeen, hand on his shoulder and nerves in his eyes. Keith looks down at the chalk against his hands, stark and messy against the black of the gloves. He adjusts one of the straps again. Flexes his hand. Nods.

This is definitely one of the best fics I’m putting on this list! I originally read it because I found aknightley’s drabbles set in the same universe (which you should ALSO read it- soo good) and I honestly did not expect to love it as much as I did! If you’ve had a huge Olympics or AFTG phase like me, this is perfect for you. It also so nicely incorporates Social Media into it- which is one of my favorite tropes and this fic has to be one of my favorites under that trope. It’s such an inspiring collection (called ‘the greatest’) and truly captures the vastness and importance and beauty of the Olympics/competitive sports and interweaves so many conversations about LGBTQ+ athletes into it that I love it. The author creates such a realistic and fleshed out world that I kind of got RWARB vibes. All in all, a must-read if you love AFTG- it’s actually inspired from the really famous AFTG fic about the Minyard-Josten rivalry!

it grows stronger by tylerproposey

Summary: College campuses are a cesspool of awkward encounters. Some more unnerving than others, as Lance comes to find. He thinks it’s important to note that in all those instances, Keith is there to witness them. Actually, that’s unfair. Admittedly Keith happens to be useful in getting him out of those situations. Affection, as it goes, grows stronger when you’re constantly being “saved” by a protective rival – but mostly friend at this point.

Ok, so I know I said I wouldn’t include anything else by tylerproposey but I couldn’t help it- this fic is definitely one of the best College AUs out there. It’s so much more than a 5+1 fic!

i need someone like you to lighten the load by slowklancing (notanannoyingfangirl), sunnyjolras

Summary: Another scrap of parchment shot out of the cup, a fourth scrap of parchment, which made no sense at all, and the Headmaster grabbed it from the air, unrolling it and reading it quietly.

The entirety of the Great Hall remained silent. It was as quiet as a tomb.

“Lance Álvarez?” The Headmaster whispered, and then again, louder. “Lance Álvarez.”

Wait, what?

// Lance and Keith have always been battling it out: on the Quidditch field, in the duelling club, for the best marks in Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Keith always manages to come out in the lead.

Now, the Triwizard Tournament has been announced and Lance knows that Keith is going to beat him for the only open spot, even if he pretends that he thinks otherwise. But it doesn’t quite go the way that Lance expects, and everything changes from there.

Hogwarts Klance AU!!! For the Twiwizard Tournament!! Such a long ride but so worth it- all the ups and downs of their relationship and Lance’s life is EXACTLY like an HP book and I loved it. We also see Hagrid! Coran and DADA prof! Shiro so what more could I ask for? It also features Allura from Beauxbatons and Lotor from Drumstrang! It does follow HP canon in its ending, so it might be a bit lacking in that but i just adore the exposition of the plot so I couldn’t not include it!

say my name (and every color illuminates) by parchmints

Summary: “Well, that’s what you are, right? My subconscious talking to me? That’s what my aunt says dreams are, but it’s kinda weird that my subconscious hasn’t seen the ocean before since I’ve been around the ocean my entire life.”

“What? No! I’m--I’m not your subconscious, I’m your--” Keith starts, but he slams his lips together in a tight lock, then looks at the waves, while Lance sits up taller and leans in closer to him.

“My what?”

“Just--!” Keith starts, getting frustrated and pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’m real, okay? We’re not--this isn’t--we’re having a shared dream.”

Lance never thought he had a soulmate, but when he finds himself dreaming about a boy on Varadero Beach and in a southwestern desert, he learns they have an incredibly rare soul link–-one that allows them to form an unusually strong bond before they meet, but also exposes their greatest vulnerabilities to each other.

SOULMATES KLANCE!! this is also a fic by parchmints, who is another one of my fav klance authors and this is definitely my favorite one of theirs- its a must read if you’re a sucker for Soulmates Klance like me. The way they eventually meet also had me smiling at my phone so much!

they're gonna watch me disappear into the sun by basicallymonsters

Summary: Lance turns his face towards the tree line meandering off to the edge of the coast, feeling every system in his body light up simultaneously. “Keith.”

He lifts his wrists and Keith’s hands follow them up. He shifts closer on his knees, mouth turned down, desperate.

“So you can’t expect me to leave you here,” Keith says, “I know that I’m asking you to walk away from your home. But you’re asking me to walk away from mine.”

(prompt: when they get to Earth, Lance wants to stay)

this fic is very similair to katabasis, in the sense that they both made me want to die. im not even joking, this fic put me off of reading klance for like the next 2 months because it was that fucking sad. so of course i need everyone to share in my misery.

no, but all jokes aside, this is an amazing fic that will absolutely change you forever. it is such a good exploration of lance as well, and how much his family means to him and for a fic of only 7K+ words, it sure has an impact.

life after death by taylortot

Summary: Fear clambers into his mouth and tastes bitter on his tongue. “Who are you?” It takes him a moment to register the sound of his own voice.

She stares at him. Blinks. “Lance, please, this isn’t time for one of your jokes-”

He furrows his eyebrows and struggles to sit up, to stop leaning into the cradle of her arms. “I’m not--I’m not...joking.”

After sacrificing himself to save Allura, Lance wakes up in a strange new world where the only thing he knows is a deep connection to a boy he doesn't remember.

so this is another amazingly angsty beautiful fic WHICH IS ALSO INCOMPLETE by the way but the author is still replying to comments and there’s only 1 more chapter left so hey, there is hope for us all! i just really love the deep love lance has for keith in this and how everything unravels slowly by slowly and we learn about how they fell in love, along with lance himself. you *have* to read this!

it's all in my head by aknightley

Summary: "Uh," Pidge said, "Lance? Buddy? What's the deal?"

"That's Lance?" Hunk shouted, somehow still ramming ships away from the castle; Keith felt like bubbles were bursting in his head, effervescent pops of giddy fear mixed with conviction.

Lance, he thought, Lance feels like this. "Thank God, I thought I was going crazy for a second."

Another amazing must-read fic by aknightley that explores the paladin bond as a much more psychic connection and shows Keith and Lance both struggling to hide their feelings for each other through it! Must more be said? Go read it!

pepsicola by corydalis

Summary: It starts like this:

Lance looking up at the scoreboard only a few days into his Garrison training and muttering to himself, “What the hell kind of a name is Keith?”--

Or, Keith and Lance fall in love. Eventually.

corydalis has the absolute best klance drabble fics but i especially enjoy this fic because of the dual POV and how we see both characters grow from the Garrison itself and the slow build to a friendship and then eventual romance is to die for! very similar to never saw you coming, by the way.

Like Devo by surveycorpsjean

Summary: As rival jammers, they're rough, skating around the rink, giving bruises, bloody noses, broken ribs and snapped fingers-

But when the cops show up, Keith grabs his hand and yanks Lance into the storm drain.

And that’s how they start dating.

The adrenaline rush I got from this is unparalleled! Both Keith and Lance are also absolute BAMFs and I love how fucking rogue the fic is. It’s just a one-shot so I’d defo recc it, but it is quite explicit so if that’s not your thing, go ahead and skip it!

this is my idea (of love) by the-noble-idiot (noblegambit)

Summary: The first meeting between Crown Prince Lance of Altea and Prince Keith of Daizabaal was, to put it mildly, less than perfect.

ARRANGED MARRIAGE KLANCE GALTEAN AU!! this fic is so so so good and the build-up of their relationship over the years that we see in glimpses is so precious and amazing- and the enemies-to-lovers in this is to die for. My only complaint is that I wish it were longer!

you should date me by petalloso

Summary: “I can read you, Keith Kogane. You’re tired and maybe a little sad, and this mask will lift your spirits, heal your aura, align your chakras. Trust me.”

“I chrusht myou,” Keith says through his fish lips, Lance's hands warm against his squished cheeks, his heart pounding ridiculously in his chest.

This fic is the defo THE best College AU out there and has SUCH similar vibes to Hearts Don’t Break Around Here and Tramps like Us that I adore it. It’s so kooky and weird and hilarious and lovely- exactly like college and I LOVE it. Klance’s relationship dynamic in this is to die for and is so fun to read! It also shows Keith with dyslexia and ADHD, which is a new take since its usually Lance with ADHD but one I loved equally and the portrayal of ADHD is so refreshing to read if you have ADHD (like me) but can be hard for people without it to read since it’s a bit erratic and random. I’d still highly recommend it!!

Love Bite(s) by ArchetypeOfAdespota

Summary: In which Keith gets bitten by a Love Bug, and Lance is less okay with this than anyone honestly expected.

This is literally the best Lovebug Klance AU out there and definitely started my obsession with that trope- Alas, there are none as good as this one! I loove how we see Klance trying to hide their real unrequited feelings and the amount of misunderstandings was so frustrating but written so well- the resolution was to die for! I’d definitely recommend it! The author’s writing style is very good and there is a second part to this fic that deals with a ‘what-if’ where Lance was bit instead of Keith but that’s incomplete so I didn’t include it but you can check it out if you like this fic!

Objects in Motion (When Unbalanced) by Mytay

Summary: Lance and Keith are constantly being mistaken for a couple. Lance is highly offended. Keith is quietly outraged.

Pidge decides if she can’t have peace, then she can write an epic scientific dissertation on the romantic failings of two exceptionally dense paladins.

This fic is going to be the last of this very extensive list and its honestly one of the most re-readable fics and is such a good crackfic with outsider POV on Klance! It also has 4 more parts that are one-shots/sequels set in the same ‘verse and you can definitely check that out if you want more Matchmaking Science Pidge.

Some other Klance authors I’d recommend that didn’t make it on this list:

jilliancares

Katranga

wittyy_name

Zizzani

mothpoem

Purpleneutrino (mackerelmademedoit)

Queerklancing

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squeiky · 2 years ago

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Why I love sonadow

(Haven't talked about/posted about my love of sonic on this blog but go figures I'd write about my fav ship first before literally anything else-)

So this is mostly a ramble, but I a few points to make on why exactly why I love this ship and just basically rambling about every little details that make the ship so lovable in the first place.

So for starters, I love this ship, and I'm willing to sail on it till it sinks. I find their dynamic quite entertaining as the two work as a competitive duo, have a really nice dynamic, and the two are pretty similar in terms of ideals and the fact that it's very much hammered in that shadow is one, if not maybe the only one, who is only equal playing field with sonic. I find that it's very refreshing to see someone who isn't always left behind his trail, and can actually keep up and even RIVAL that of sonic.

After the events of SA2 what started my true love for this ship statted to form. It was during the very final ending. (Of course the small seeds of banter and how sonic would influence shadow to slowly becoming his best self as well as shadow slowly gaining respect for the blue blur also made me love it-but this is what got me on board y'know?)

-I remember the fight where sonic and shadow team up to defeat the bio-lizard and I loved the cute little lines the two shared during the battle.

Sonic's little "are you okay?" And "you need rest! Let me handle this!" lines are just so wholesome- it's just a cute detail that I feel gets overlooked. You usually don't see these sides of sonic anymore, and it's so hilarious that he's saying this all while shadow is too busy monolouging- it's so sweet.

I find it very endearing that even though he should be focusing on defeating the bio-lizard like shadow is, he just spends his time worrying about shadows wellbeing. (Shadow does the same for sonic, just less often.)

Also, during the sonic q&a shadow's treasured moments is of sonic attempting to save him which I find also very endearing. (Sonic's reaction was also very cute.) Though the topic of sonadow was brought up and them immediately dismissed made me feel really sad, but I'm okay with that fact anyhow as I can understand why.

Theres also that one poster of shadow and sonic being a "swashbuckling duo" which I know everyone thinks about the "swashbuckling" part but they all skip over the "duo." Like, it's just those 2. There is a reality where these 2 are together, not only as pirates (MY FLAG MEANS DEATH-) but as a DUO??! Meaning not only are they working together on a LITERAL SHIP, but also- they are known to go swashbuckling adventures together. Also shadow is the captain and I can't state it enough how I love the fact that THIS IS A THINGGGG!!!!

(I know this is far fetched, but let's be real- the only pirates that exist in the sonic games are sonic rush. Hey, if there's 2 versions of sonic why not make it 3?)

Also, let's not forget sonic's "looking out the window scenes" and the his talk with Rouge about shadow (he called him a hero, and honestly that is the sweetest most saddest thing I've heard in very in a very long time), as well as his "sayonra shadow the hedgehog"

Rouge spent more time with shadow than sonic so understanbly she'd understand sonics sadness as these 2 have spent more time with shadow than anyone else (I'm not counting eggman, he is an enabler and helped lead shadow down a self-destrutive and literally destructive path. He doesn't count, not ever will he count.)

It's just Sonics tiny gestures of greif, like looking out through that window, the Sayanora when no one was around, the small "are you okay?" ,and sassy banter between the two is just so sweet, fun and entertaining to see.

(This is a bit more on shadow but I feel it's a necessary part into understanding why this works so well-)

Also, shadow's writing has been fluctuating in quality almost as much as sega's own games. It's safe to assume the consensus that shadow is the "angry edgelord who hates sonic for some random reason and always fights him beacuse bla bla bla" isn't very true and I feel like that idea is what really makes this ship weird for some other people. (Or it's just not the type of ship they'd like, which is fine by me.)

Shadow, to put it simple.. is a very compassionate character with a lot of trauma put on him. He didn't know how to handle/process that trauma, and spending like what? 50 years, trapped in an isolated cell, unaging, left alone with no one to help him escape, getting your memories tampered with, having your ego fed with the "ultimate lifeform" stuff, as well as having noway to talk, cope, or even process the fact that your best freind- the only person that has (to my knowledge) treated you like an actuall conscious being, that isn't a weapon or some science project to get some cure- just got murdered by you guessed it! Humans! Not to mention the leader of the "humans" aka the government led this???!!

It puts a pretty sour taste in your mouth if you ask me.

So when I see the edgelord shit really ticks me off. Beacuse at the end of it all, shadow isn't really sonic's rival (even that one Lego sonic spinoff game literally refers to shadow as sonic's "freind" along with amy, knuckles and tails like come ON people!!) He's just another one of his freinds.

Besides, shadows been through about mabye 3 whole identity crisises? Which in my book is more than enough for shadow to either be gay or trans(cis or not) and honestly it's quite fitting.

Not to mention, as a mlp fan, I have to say.. the amount of comparisons I can make to blue gay pony and the blue maybe gay hedgehog is far to many. (I mean for crying out loud- the chaos emeralds are literally the colors of the rainbow, and sonic is about a few furry points away from shoots rainbow lasers at his enemy's yknow?)

(Also the soundrack escape the city has "follow my rainbow" lyrics randomly in that track, and so I cant unhear/unsee the idea of like- running away from you home beacuse your not accepted or whatever- and it's all like "follow me" and "set me free" and what not and it just *chef kiss*! Like, yah foo! "Set me free" from the realityy~~ so we can bee togetherrr foreverrr~~?? Or somethimg??)

Also to drive this thing home, sonic is literally shadow's adventure.

Though it was thanks to his popularity that allowed him to revive from thy dead, I do think it was an understatement to say that in some ways he didn't have fun around sonic while he was alive.

The whole "faker" stuff was quite a fun banter in my opinion, and sonic is one of the most frequent non-team dark character shadow communicates with.

(Going on about the "faker" stuff: though I don't have any recollection or proof of it, but if shadow has infact called sonic "faker" atleast once, it's actually more endearing than as an insult he tries to pose it as. The whole conversation went as "faker? Your not even good enough to be my fake!" (Which is a hilarious way to say, "no u") so saying that would be admitting that sonic of all creatures has met the guy's standards.. Which I find oddly amusing.)

It's conversations where it's just the two of them (like the iconic "what you see is what you get!" Scene) where I see those cracks in his "too Kool 4 skool" and the "dark, mysterious edgy boy" persona fall.

Though the facade doesn't really start to fall apart until later on in the game (and never gets as far as Rouge and omega do) it's safe to say that makes sonic the 4th (well technically the 2nd or 1st) character that shadow might be okay with letting his guard down around.

I guess there's a part of me that really wants this to work. I like the pining aspect it brings, the angst and well as the wholesome. I like to see shadow happy, and I like to see sonic happy as well. What really got me going is the saying that they're equals in a way. They don't "complete" eachother but they complement eachother in a good way.

They're similar yet different, and their different views of the world can show the other another side, a darker and lighter side to the world they live in. Sonic gives shadow that light and shadow give sonic that dark. Yin & yang.

I don't think they HAVE to be romantic with eachother, I like the idea of it, (mostly beacuse I like picturing them watching late night movies together like the night owls I just know they are!) But them being freindly rivals everynow and then, or just freinds is good enough for me as well. ( I enjoy all sides of this sonadow pizza pie.)

I find it nice that they have this unstoppable duo vibe, like nothing can really take em down when they're together. I like the fact that (don't quote me on this as im sure where I heard it from-) at times it's said that even their thoughts catch up with one another (ADHD headcannon for sonic and ADD for shadoww~) and I find that they're just so in sync it's amusing.

Also I love thinking about sonic being this sassy, talkative, distracted mess of a hedgehog whilst shadow is the dresses to impress, not as talkative and probably hyperfocuses on way to much stuff, secretly a softie, also mess of a hedgehog. Add mess + mess = more mess and I love it! It's like a spaghetti and meatballs! Both make a big mess when handled improperly but when cooked by someone who knows what they're doing, it tastes delicious.

And that's my ted-talk on my little hyperfixation of my favorite ship. I needed to get it out and I hope maybe someone finds this and considers this maybe one of their favorites too!

#sonadow #sonadow mention #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedghog #sonic adventure 2 #sa2 #cw #shadow x sonic #sonic x shadow #shadsoni #long post #squieky talks #rambles #my ships

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blackleatherjacketz · 2 years ago

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Father’s Day

Peter Parker x Frank Castle (Platonic)

Summary: Set a few months after Spider-Man No Way Home, Peter goes to the last person he knows for help, someone he knows will be at a carousel on Father’s Day.

Warnings: Angst, Mentions of major character deaths, Peter reaching out to Frank

Notes: I’m a week late, but it’s Cancer Season, and I’m in my feels. I’ve never written Peter before, but for some reason, I got possessed by the idea of him seeking out a father figure in Frank on the saddest day possible. This was going to be a drabble and got away from me. Forgive me.

WC: 1.7k

Tags: @letsby @likedovesinthewnd @genevievedarcygranger

The tinny tune of the carousel rang through the humid air of the park, children's laughter and babies crying mixed in with the song as it created its own odd melody. Dozens of different types of families were scattered in the picnic area between him and the moving circle, those closest to the ride absorbing most of the sound before it reached his sensitive ears.

“Can I sit here?” His voice shook as he pointed to the empty spot next to Frank, the summer sun beating down on the rubber-coated metal of the bench.

Peter remembered him mentioning this place a year or so ago when they were fighting King Pin’s men on top of a roof at four in the morning. Or maybe it was a little bit longer ago than that? The current state of things made it difficult for him to remember everything that happened before he made that stupid wish that turned his life upside down. He’d get things mixed up sometimes, wracking his brain to remember if certain things he recalled happened before or after the change, or if it was nothing more than just a dream.

Frank looked up and over at him, eyes pinpoint and defensive until he saw how young he was, his lip twitching in annoyance before his face finally relaxed along with the rest of his muscles. He didn’t recognize who he was; so much for hoping that there was still someone out there who did.

“Sure, kid.” Frank’s voice always reminded him of what a grizzly bear might sound like if one ever learned how to talk. He was big and scary despite not having any ‘real powers’, but he was always nice to Peter, seeming to sort of… soften a little when he was around him.

“Thanks.” Peter sat down next to him, not too close, but just close enough to relish in the feeling of sharing a space with someone he used to call a friend.

It was the little things that he missed the most as the days passed by alone. He missed being able to recall shared memories with someone, to notice the little things about them that no one else seemed to pay attention to but him, and vice versa. He missed high fives in the hallway with Ned, hugs from Aunt May and the long warm kisses he used to share with MJ. Most of all he just missed being seen, understood and cared for in literally any capacity.

The utter devastation he felt when MJ looked at him with cold and distant eyes, as if he were any other stranger walking down the street made his heart sink into the bitter acid of his stomach. How could he convince himself to explain their situation and bring things back to normal, chopping up their years of bonded experience to a few short sentences? How could he make someone love him who didn’t even know his name? He couldn’t, and he was going to have to learn to live with that. Every time he looked at her, though, whether from across the street or on a faraway rooftop, he knew that he could never get back what they used to have. Not the way he wanted, anyways.

He tried going to support groups on the outskirts of town, ones for people who’d lost their parents or for those who lost relationships during the blip and couldn’t quite get over the loss. No matter what the degree of tragedy he shared with them, no one could quite understand what he was going through. No one had lost everyone they had ever gotten close to before, only to have their identity completely eradicated as payment for saving the world.

He couldn’t even get a respectable job without a proper ID, and all the work he’d done at school and with Tony? Wiped clean from existence, as if he was never even born. The only person who would remotely know how he felt right now would be Frank, no stranger to devastating loss, false identities or going off the grid from time to time. If Peter was going to get out of town and start fresh, he was going to need Frank’s help.

Peter opened his mouth to introduce himself, coaching himself mentally with the details of his fake identity as he paused, thinking better of his initial plan of attack. Frank was a wild animal, one who had to be approached in just the right way in order to earn his trust and not get his arm ripped off or eaten for lunch. “You lost somebody, too, huh?” he asked.

So much for playing it cool, Peter.

Frank scoffed, putting something into his pocket before leaning back in his seat. “Do I know you?” His tone wasn’t angry, but it sure wasn’t friendly, either.

Peter wanted to say yes, to geek out about all the times they fought together alongside Daredevil against the worst of New York City, but he didn’t want to scare him away. He didn’t want to seem like some kid who wore a Punisher t-shirt to bed every night before kissing his Momento Mori poster, either. He really hated having to lie all the time, especially to people he knew or cared about. Sure, he had to do it to protect his identity when he was Spider-Man, but this was different. This was a constant, every second of everyday kind of lie. One that tied itself around your ankle and pulled you down to the bottom of the ocean until you couldn’t breathe anymore, kind of lie.

“I guess I just know that look when I see it,” Peter confessed, thinking of all the pain he’s had to endure since his parents passed away, now compounded a hundred-fold. He wondered how Frank had gone so long without totally collapsing in on himself the way he did every night when the world stopped spinning.

“Yeah?” Frank continued to look ahead, his jaw clenching as he clasped his hands together and leaned forward.

Oh God, he hated him already, didn’t he? The only reason he ever talked to him in the first place was because he saved his life when he nearly fell off a ladder that one time. It was pretty obvious that he wanted to be alone, that he didn’t want to be bothered, especially by an annoying kid like him. Why did he come here in the first place thinking this was going to be a good idea? Why was he so stupid?

Focus, Peter. If you can save the world as many times as you have, you can definitely do this.

“And what look is that?” Frank brought him out of his thoughts, bouncing his knee up and down.

“The one where you keep waiting for them to come out of a crowd somewhere… anywhere, really. At a park like this one, a mall, the subway, a busy street, anywhere you go could be the last place you’ve looked until one day you finally find them, even though you know that you never will.” He faked a cough to cover up the lump in his throat, wondering just how much worse he would feel if Tony were still alive and looked at him as if they had never met.

“Yeah,” he resigned, swallowing hard and dropping his head. He took in a deep breath, slow and steady as he smoothed over his eyebrows with his thumb and forefinger.

Peter had never seen Frank this pensive, but then again, they were usually fighting bad guys when they were together, not mourning their loved ones on a summer’s day in the park. “I’m sorry, Mr…” he bit his tongue, barely stopping himself from calling him ‘Mister Punisher, Sir’ like he always used to.

“I’m Pete.” He sat up straight, placing his folded hands in his lap.

“No shit,” Peter whispered under his breath, wondering if his alias had anything to do with him at one point or another. Probably not. But what if? “I’m Michael,” he lied for the twentieth time today.

“Well Mikey, that shit they try to feed you about it getting easier over time ain’t true, not even a little bit.” He ran a hand over his head, brushing his fingers through his overgrown locks as he squinted toward the setting sun. “You just learn how to deal with it better.”

“Oh,” he sighed audibly, slumping his shoulders. He’d heard the same thing from dozens of other grieving sons and daughters in his support groups, but was secretly hoping that Frank had some trick up his sleeve to help him get over this pain a lot faster. Although it was looking more and more like the only way out was through. “How did you deal with it?”

“Look,” Frank sucked the air in through his teeth, shaking his head in a pained smile. “You seem like a nice kid and everything, but I’m not the one you want to take advice from right now, okay? Why don’t you try going to a priest or a rabbi or…”

“But I’ve tried all that.” Peter cut him off, the thought of Frank dismissing him forcing tears into his eyes. “It doesn’t work. I tried getting new hobbies, going to therapy, going to group, but nothing helps.” He blinked a few times in an effort to absorb the tears into his eyelashes, only to force one down his face. “I need your help.”

“What?” He turned to face him, his features barely changing as he realized that Peter knew who he was this whole time. “You want me to kill that guy who hurt your family for you? Hmm? Make him pay for what he did? It’s not gonna bring them back, and it’s definitely not gonna make you feel better.”

Wow, he just jumped straight to murder, it’s a miracle we were able to work together at all.

“No, not that.” He wiped the stream of saline off his cheek with the back of his hand. “I need a new identity, and Mr. Murdock said that you could at least help point me in the right direction?”

“Fucking Murdock,” Frank grumbled, rolling the idea around in his head before looking back at the carousel that seemed that much farther away now. “Whose after you, anyways, kid?”

Peter thought about lying to Frank again, about telling him it was the Gnucci gang or hell, even Wilson Fisk that was after him. He thought about every single smile he’d lost over the years, about every sound of Aunt May’s laughter and sting of Tony’s snark that he’d no longer be able to keep for himself.

“Everyone.”

#peter parker #frank castle #spider-man no way home #The punisher #frank castle fan fic #peter parker fanfic

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