#his ass definitely dyslexic

[columboscreens]

[arbitrarykiwi]

Captured in Low Resolution

Thanos/Choi Su-Bong (Player 230) x fem reader one-shot

Summary: while in your boyfriend’s music studio you finally remember to ask him about that teeny, tiny, low resolution photo that’s taped to the corner of his main computer screen. It’s been there for a while, edged curled up and ink faded to the point where you can’t even see what it is! (4k words)

Warnings: prolly ooc thanos…I just felt this in my soul and had to write it, Sfw, Just wanted to write somethin cute for this silly lil crazed man, proof read but am dyslexic so expect errors LMAO

You didn’t know it but one of Choi Su-bong’s favorite pictures of you was the one he has hung up on the corner of his computer at his studio.

It’s so small, grainy and faded due to the shitty printer he used to print it on. It’s also folded at the edge, rolling up into itself the smallest bit and blocking damn near most of the image.

As you sit on the edge of the computer desk, legs kicking aimlessly as he sits in the desk chair right next to you. He’s leaned back, one of his hands on the mouse as he clicks along the computer screen, eyes trained on the file of music he was working on. His other hand was resting on your thigh, right above the knee, fingers tapping against your flesh in concentration.

You look back over to the small image taped to the corner of his computer, fingers reaching out to try and un-curl the edge to see it better. It’s still such poor quality.

“What even is this picture?” You call out, fingers running over the paper. “Hm?” He says, very obviously not paying attention, his eyes moving from the computer screen over to you.

You pout playfully at him, “Can’t believe you’re ignoring me” you say, crossing your arms. He rolls his eyes and moves the chair he’s in over a couple inches. The wheels drag on the floor until he makes it to his destination, situated between your legs.

His arms reach up, crossing the desk and going behind you so his hands grip at your ass, pulling you to the very edge of his desk, your feet resting against his thighs. He looks up at you, hands massaging up your ass and around to your hips. “I’m payin’ attention now! Ask me again.” He whines turning to place a short kiss on the inside of your knee as an apology before pulling away.

You giggle, looking down and grabbing his face. You hunch over and tilt his face up, placing a slow kiss on his lips. When you pull away, you reach back over to the small image and pull at the corner. “I said what even is this picture. It’s so blurry. I can’t make it out.” You mumble, eyebrows furrowed as you squint to try and see what it was.

He looks to the little picture you’re fumbling with and then back to you, a confused look on his face. “You don’t know what it is!?” He says almost as if he’s offended. He removes one hand from your hip, pulling it back to quickly fish his phone out of pants pocket.

You watch as he unlocks it, blown out pupils darting across his phones home screen until he finds the app he’s looking for- photos.

He’s opening the app and begins to scroll through his camera roll. You can see glimpses of pictures- shoes he bought, pictures of weed, pictures of his shows, pictures of you and him, random memes he’s saved.

And then suddenly he stops, clicking on a certain photo in his camera roll then flipping his phone to you.

You immediately see the high definition colors match the pixels of the poor quality photo. It’s of you, in the drivers seat of his car. With the direction the photos taken, he’s in the passenger seat. The purple floor board lights that are in his car are the only lights that illuminate the photo- you can see it’s night outside the window behind you.

Your hair is in a messy style, you’re wearing a pair of his pajama pants and one of his shirts. Both articles of clothing practically swallowing you. One of your legs is hiked up on the car seat, shin pressed against the steering wheel. You have a takeout box of your favorite food in your lap, one hand holding up the food that your were most likely in the middle of eating, the other picking at the side dish that’s still in the box. You’re laughing in the picture, presumably at something he said.

You look at him, not really thinking this exact picture was worthy to be on the corner of his main computer as a permanent relic over the year. There’s plenty of better ones. But he cuts off your thoughts, “s’my favorite picture of you, baby.” He says with a wide grin pointing at the phone. “You look so cute and it reminds of that night and you always look so fuckin good when you’re driving my car.” He rambles passionately.

“Anytime I’m stressed out because these stupid fucks here don’t listen to me- I look at that picture, remember that night, and suddenly I’m not wanting to kill them.” He says pointing over to the small picture taped to his computer.

He was referring to the many people he had working with him on his music on a daily basis- his manager, his drug addict friends, different collabs he has- they all enrage him frequently, but with that picture of you there as his saving grace, he’s saved himself from losing deals and getting into fights. All he had to do is look at that little picture and he was taken back to that night- the anger he had towards whoever pissed him off in the studio would subside and he’d be able to finish whatever needed to be done in the studio without further problem.

You giggle, hands reaching out to grab his phone from his hand. Wanting a closer look at the picture, still not entirely sure when or even where it was taken. When your eyes scan the image, your smile widens- finally remembering the picture.

————/————/————

You guys had been dating around 6 months at the time, you think. You remember you had begged him to take you out late at night to get your favorite food to go. You were starving and you were set on the one thing that just had to have no delivery option. He had made you drive his car, saying that if he were to go with you and get you the food you wanted- you would have to drive.

You agreed excitedly, slipping on your shoes, grabbing his car keys that hung next to his front door and nearly bolting out of his apartment and skipping all the way to the parking space his car was in.

You didn’t know it but Choi Su-Bong thinks he realized that he was head over heels in love with you that night.

Yes he knew he adored you, loved you- hell he was never one for settling down until he met you a couple years ago- you changed him. But that night he swears he fell for you all over again in ways he didn’t think was possible.

You don’t hear it, you’re halfway to his nice sports car, but he chuckles to himself, just watching you. You’re simply adorable. Your excitement for your favorite food even this late at night made his tired smile grow wider. He was really smitten.

He’s entranced by the way you expertly throw the car into reverse, peeling out of the parking lot of his complex. You’re humming to yourself happily, doing the little dance you always do when you’re about to get food you like.

You’re so excited about the food you don’t even take the extra couple seconds to set up the Bluetooth like you normally do- you always wanted to have music in the care. It’s adorable, he thinks, just how determined you are to get your late night eats.

What’s even more adorable though is the way your eyes light up, a gasp coming out when he takes over aux, putting on that one song you play constantly. The one he swears you can listen to 16 times back to back and love it just as much as you did the first time it came on.

He just can’t stop staring at you, a small smile on his lips as he just watches how you drive, one arm outstretched so your hand is on the wheel the other arm is rested against the window on your side, your thumb playing with the nails of your other fingers- feeling the glitter and gems of the fresh set, tracing the raised chrome “T”- the extravagant set courtesy of your boyfriends money.

He watches as you hum along to the song, as it continues you begin to sing along, your voice blending with the stereo. He can’t but help chuckle to himself when he notices your hand drumming against the steering wheel, your head bobbing along to the music. It was 2am and here you were, as energetic as ever, singing your heart out.

He admires how you seem to recite the lyrics like they’re mixed into the blood that’s in your veins. It’s like you don’t even have to think about what word follows the previous, it just comes to you like you’re the person who wrote the song.

You can feel his gaze on you and your singing is halted by a laugh bubbling up your chest when you can see him out of the corner of your eyes just watching you- your eyes darting over to him in the passenger seat, eyebrows scrunched in a questioning look before looking back at the road. “Why ya staring at me?” You say with a giggle, eyes going back to the road.

“Hm..” he hums in response, reaching over the center console to interlock his hand with yours, your arm that was once on the window moves to replace the other so you can hold his hand, your other hand takes the wheel. “I can’t just admire my girlfriend?” He finishes, giving your hand a squeeze. He even adores the way your eyes roll at his words, letting out a sarcastic “I ‘spose you can.”

He lets out a low hum in response, his thumb rubbing small circles on the back of your hand. He doesn’t stop looking at you for the whole ride, taking in every detail of you.

You expertly maneuver his car along the expressway as you head to your destination with a determination, and throughout the whole drive he just finds more and more things that he finds endearing about you. He was going to have to make you drive him places more often if it meant he got to observe you like this.

You make it to the drive-thru, pulling around the curve and waiting patiently at the large light up menu. He begins to type on his phone, writing out his order so you could easily read it out when you got done ordering what you wanted.

You list off your order and he begins to hand you his phone, open to his order he just wrote out, but you don’t even turn to him- instead you list off his exact order perfectly without even having to grab his phone.

He sits back with a surprised laugh, you really did know him. It was charming how much you knew about him- even the little things like his order at this fast food place that you two have only gone to maybe 3 times.

You had to be a fucking witch, He thought, you had some sort of spell over him that made him fall for you effortlessly at any little thing you did.

You let out a sweet “Thank you!” To the worker as they tell you to pull up, turning to begin to pull up. You turn to him, doing a small excited dance and extending your hand out to him.

He grabs your outstretched hand, taking it in his and turning it to place a kiss on your knuckles as he grabs his wallet out of his pocket. When he pulls back, he rotates your hand back and places his card in your hand.

You give the card to the worker, paying. You get the card and receipt back, the worker closing the window and headed back to the kitchen. When you hand him back his card you lean over the center console and place a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you, my love.” You say in a sweet tone that has him thinking he’s tripping- and he knows he didn’t take any pills today.

My love.

He’s replaying it in his head, trying to get the words and the way you said it permanently etched into his head. He’s not sure he’s ever been able to experience something so wholesome and exciting than when he met you. And every day he was continually surprised that you could still have such an effect on him with the little things you did.

“Of course, my beautiful flower.” He coos, hand reaching across the center console to stroke his thumb across your cheek a couple times. Your attention is pulled away from him by the bags of food being held out to you.

You take them happily handing them over to him for safe keeping as you pull around to the empty parking lot.

As you guys sit in the empty parking lot, eating the food- you told him you wanted to eat it then and there, not wait for the drive home- and who was he to say no to his sweet girl!?!- one of his own songs comes on the play list, his own voice coming through the speakers and filling the car.

“Oooohh!” You say excitedly, “that’s my mannn~!!” You call out in a sing song voice. He laughs, leaning over to place a quick kiss on your neck. When he does he can smell your perfume, it’s a scent he’s become addicted to. He lets out a low hum against your neck as he stays connected to you, sucking a small purple bruise into your skin. You bite your lip and giggle, reaching one hand up to run through his hair.

He pulls back from you, settling back into the passenger seat. He continues to eat, humming along to his own song. He swears his heart beats out of his chest when he’s about to take a bite out of his food and you begin rapping along.

It’s soft mumbles, just to yourself as you nod your head along to his music. You recite the lyrics perfectly. Sure, he knew you were subjected to listen to his music when you sat in his studio as he worked- but to know the lyrics like the back of your hand like this…he’s head over heels.

He watches on for a moment, just letting you be in your own world, not faltering once as you rap along to the recording of his voice. “How’d you learn this?” He questions with a laugh of disbelief, fuck, you’re so precious.

You look over to him, shocked he was even paying attention- you thought he was invested in the food that sits in the take out box on his lip like you were. “I listen to it all the time, duh! It’s on my liked playlist for when I drive.” You say confused, like you were surprised he was surprised.

His head is spinning to say the least. Maybe it was because he used to run around the worst type of people possible, always using him and not actually supporting his music. Or maybe it was because the ditzy flings he had before meeting you never cared to really listen to his music, only wanting drugs or sex. He wasn’t sure but he thought he was dreaming.

Choi Su-bong fell head over heels in love with you that night. He realized you were truly a precious little gift all for him. A pretty thing to show off and to keep him in line. Someone who loved him, and his music enough to learn all the lyrics and add it to your personal playlist. The way you were in the drivers seat of his car, wearing his clothes, singing his song has him launching over the seat to kiss you.

You nearly drop your food- clutching it to your lap as you kiss him back. It’s sweet, slow, and methodical. You can’t help but to melt into it. His lips move against you in practiced movements, his teeth gently bitting at your bottom lip- pulling it just a bit as he pulls away.

He moves back into the passenger seat and begins to go back to eating like nothing happened. You try and mirror him, trying to be stoic as you pick through your take out box.

He hears you giggling to yourself, and when he looks over and sees the sight- you trying your best to focus on your food, smile spread on your lips that were still wet from the kiss- he takes his phone out and takes a picture.

————/————/————

Back in the studio, you look back up to him, a wide smile on your face as you finally remember the night the picture was taken. “Awh!!! You’re such a softie…” you coo out reaching out to pull his face towards you, placing kiss after kiss along his face. When you pull back he scoffing, shaking his head dismissively, trying to act like you don’t affect him the way you do.

But you do.

“Not a softie..” he mumbles as he pouts. You look to the photo again, then back to him raising an accusatory eyebrow. He rolls his eyes at your persistence, “Fine…maybe you have me a bit soft…but you can’t blame me baby! You’re so fuckin perfect…” he says his hands running up the sides of your waist as he focuses on you. You jump off the desk, moving to climb into his lap on his desk chair.

He hums in approval when you sit down on his lap. He studies you, observing you like you’re an ancient marble carving on display in a museum. “My pretty baby.” He mutters, reaching up his hands to run them up the sides of your neck and to hold your face. “Mhm, your pretty baby.” You respond leaning in to kiss him. “All yours.” You mumble against his lips. He nods, biting at your lip. As he keeps the kiss going, he takes the small photo that you still held and tapes it back to the corner of the computer- where it belongs.

————/————/————

When he decides he’s done working in the studio for the day You stay the night at his place. Your mind buzzing with a perfect idea to surprise. You anxiously await to get started with your little project for when he goes to bed- you wouldn’t want to spoil it!

Hours later, he’s asleep on your bare chest, purple hair ticking your neck. One of his arms is thrown across you, pulling you tightly in his grasp. For someone who’s so intimidating and outgoing, when he’s asleep with you-he’s so soft, vulnerable. It’s a drastic change that only happens around you- and it’s one that you cherish every moment of.

Anytime you adjust yourself in bed, his arm around your torso holds you tighter like you’re going to run away. You never do though, you always stay with him. You try your best, and eventually manage to pull your phone off the bedside table, clicking it on to begin your plan.

The bright light of your phone floods the dark bedroom. He murmurs in his sleep, beginning to stir, his painted nails raking lightly at your rib cage when he moves. You quickly dim the brightness of your phone- a tricky task with one hand but you get it done. Your other hand runs along his arm and back in feather-light touches. It seems to settle him back into deeper sleep, his face rubbing against your chest, like he’s trying to get closer to you in any way possible and his hand relaxing once again.

With him back asleep, you continue your plan. You’re ordering the biggest print you can of the photo he loves so much, in the best quality, with the nicest wood frame you can find.

It takes a couple weeks to get everything and put it together. But soon you finish it and strategize on how you’re going to present it to him.

One day you found yourself in his studio. He’s at his desk, the small picture of you still taped to his computer. He’s working on some new music, his face focused as he sits at his desk, his mouth moving as he whispers lyrics to himself, trying to come up with something for this new song.

He eventually turns to you, offering to go out and get you food. And how could you say no? It gave you the perfect opportunity to see your plan into its final stages.

When he leaves the studio to go pick up food for the two of you, you get to work. You hang the picture up right above his monitor. It’s a tough job for one person, the large frame almost too big for you to hang up. But you struggle through- needing to see the end goal- his reaction.

You take a step back, looking on at the new addition with a proud smile.

Oh! Last thing!

You walk back over to his desk, leaning over it and removing the taped picture that was on the corner of his monitor, keeping it tucked into your palm. You smile to yourself, returning back over to your spot on the couch.

When he returns a while later, plastic bags of food for you. His eyes don’t even notice the new addition to his studio, he just looks straight to you on the couch He walks over to you, placing a kiss on your forehead then handing you the food.

“You go ahead and eat, baby. I really gotta finish this up.” He says, his eyes going back to his phone, an annoyed expression on his face. His phone rings out notification after notification, blowing up with messages that are surely rushing him to get the first draft of his lyrics submitted. His words are terse, almost harsh, but you know it’s not directed at you- it’s directed at the individuals hounding him on his phone.

He walks back over to his desk, he throws his phone down on the wood, eyes immediately diverting to his computer, ready to get back to work. Not even looking up to the wall.

He’s annoyed, he just wanted a nice calm day with his girlfriend but all these people bothering him about his music and raps just make him so fucking annoyed. When he feels himself getting more and more aggravated, his eyes immediately look to the corner of his computer monitor, trying to find solace in looking at the little paper picture he had taped to the screen, only to realize the small crumpled picture of you that he had taped there is gone.

He looks over his shoulder back to you, his eyebrows furrowed and a pout on his face. “You take my picture of you down?” He asks, you can hear the upset in his voice, it almost makes you break and spoil the whole surprise you set up.

You nod in response, biting your lip to try and keep your excited smile at bay. You open your palm, showing him that you had the small image. “What?!” He exclaims, turning fully back to you, his back now facing the wall you desperately needed him to look at. “Why would you do that?!” He says, looking at you worried, the frown on his face deepening.

You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose, walking over to him and spinning him around to face the wall. Your finger pointed up at the once empty space above his computer monitor.

When he finally looks at the wall, his mouth drops open. When he looks up he expects to see the same old bare white bricks, but he doesn’t, he’s completely wrong. How could he have completely missed that?!

There’s a large framed copy of his supposed favorite picture of you, right above his main computer monitor. Much better than the small, grainy paper image he had taped to the computer.

You’re about to ask if he likes it when he cuts you off, scooping you up into his arms and spinning you around. “You’re literally the fucking best!” He cheers excitedly. He puts you down and you’re smiling like an idiot. “You like it?” You ask, looking up at him, your arms interlocked behind his neck. “Baby…” he says, leaning down and holding your face to place a long, overly exaggerated kiss you your lips, pulling back with a ‘muah!’, “this is the best gift ever.”

His thumbs stroke your cheek gently, he’s staring at you with an adoring gaze that makes you melt. “You needed somethin’ a little better than this small lil thing. It was gonna fade…even more than it has.” You say holding your palm face up in between the two of you. “So I wanted to get you something that wouldn’t fade and have it to where you can actually see what it is.” You say poking at his chest with a joking, scolding tone.

He nods, laughing, placing a kiss on your forehead before removing his hands from your face and grabbing the old image. His thumb runs across the image, a soft smile on his face. He then looks up to the wall where the new picture hangs, taking a couple steps towards the desk.

“Fuck you’re stunning, sweetheart.” He breathes out, studying the framed photo of you, it’s a constant reminder of how lucky he is. “This is just what I needed, thank you..” He says, just studying the picture with a love-struck look. He truly has won the jackpot with you.

[pix-writes]

Stanley Pines relationship HCs

(stan pines x reader), I hc Stanley to be dyslexic, yet another bit of writing about old guys getting to be freaky so 18+ below!

tho surprisingly fluffy at times, I just think this guy needs a good hug.

At first I think Stan would flirt with that rather brash confidence of his pick up artist/con man persona with you in the beginning, espeically turns to joking if you are choosing to riff/banter (whatever you want to call it) in response to his cheeky remarks. He likes to know he's met his match with a person who's not afraid to put him in his place!

But when he actually knows he's falling for someone then I think he would actually be more reserved, shy even, though it's not always outwardly obvious. If you are (or he thinks you are) talking to/got the hots for someone else he'll be even more withdrawn and gruff with you than he is usually.

I think that it's likely you get together after a series of awkward and/or funny scenarios/converations, like "What are you waiting for a kiss on the cheek?" "Yes, actually." "Can it, smartass!" ... ... "WAIT... What?!" "What?!!" 😳 type deal. Mabel has probably also caught on and is trying to put you in matchmaking situations.

Whilst both the stans are protective over their partners, Stanley is the more... possessive one, mostly in a good way: he wants to provide for you so that you're taken care of, he may not have much but he wants to know that you have less to worry about than him. Does NOT share, can enjoy showing you off and people looking but they can't touch!

He's lives a mostly independent life, so I can see him getting with someone equally (or more) independent and whilst that can reduce some of his worries, cause he knows you can look after yourself, he also still worries! 😅 and he wants to feel needed by a partner, so you might need to let him take the lead or do things/roles in your shared life for you, even if its just something mundane. Like, if you're shorter than him, he will do petty things like putting stuff out of your reach so you have to ask for his help (even if you try to do it for yourself will reach for it before you... Will also put a hand on your ass when he does it 😂).

Realises (subconsciously at least) that you help releive some of the burdens off of him as well. That said, definitely let him do everything for you when you go on dates (after the first one, where you put up a virtuous protest about paying for yourself), he's an old fashioned, almost-chivalric romantic at heart. He'd never admit to being sappy though and states that its simply 'the way to do things' or 'I'm just taking care of my girl'.

The rest of the Pines family realises when he's serious about you because that's when he won't spare on gifts for you. They don't have to be (and probably won't be) super expensive, he'll pick you up little things as well, a wilty bunch of discounted flowers from the store happens to appear sporadically yet often in the mystery shack, saying something a little flirty about how you can make them perk up (the sap!), and you can roll your eyes or quip back at him all you want but he sees how much you appreicate them, which makes up for the times he can be a bit more careless or in a grumpy mood.

Underneath all that confident persona is quite a bit of insecurity, that's not to say that all of his confidence is false, but he definitley has some old self worth/belief issues. Will often wonder what you're doing 'with an old man like him' (no matter if you're the same age or what) especially in the beginning of the relationship. The good thing is that he's susceptible to your compliments ;) and he's often stunned that someone he finds so beautiful is with him and will tell you at the most random times that he's a 'lucky guy' or that he's 'hit the jackpot', like you can be in bed in the rattiest stained t shirt, hair in rags, face mask on, haven't brushed your teeth, doing a crossword puzzle in bed, whatever, and he'll say something along those lines or about how beautiful you are to which you can either a) think he's joking and laugh/say something witty in return, or b) say "what even when I'm (insert something seen as unattractive here)?" Please know that he is SO serious when he says this.

The downside is that whilst stan has made leaps and bounds of improvements to taking care of himself, espeically when he knew the twins were coming for the summer and post-weirdmageddon (since he doesn't have to worry about the portal anymore), he still has a lot of filthy habits! He can be lazy and want to be in comfy clothes rather than a suit all the time, sure, that's fine, but what can really drive a partner crazy is the nail clippings on the floor or the hair clogged up drains in the bathroom and not cleaning up after himself properly! He honestly shouldn't be surprised that this is one of the things you can argue about regularly, old married couple style (he's been divorced enough times to learn this before and yet here you are! ^^')

Stanley Pines is Stubborn with a capital S and so there's some things he's not willing to change, but there will be some things he knows are important to you that he'll try to make progress towards, he'll also go towards taking even more care of himself in different ways, too, since he wants to spend the best amount of time that he can with you and his family.

Keeps photos of you dipper and mabel in his wallet. Considers the twins, wendy and Soos the kids you never had, so he's gotten over all the 'what could've beens' that used to make him sad before.

Will teach you some good boxing moves and punches for sure, even if you do know how to defend yourself. And takes you fishing and will teach you a bunch of practical things, if you ask him to show you he'll be over the moon!

Will preen so much when you praise him or acknowledge his achievements, actually was holding back tears when you said you were proud of him for getting his qualifications (after he spent so long without a HS degree/equivalent). Through working on the portal is SO smart, an equally skilled sailor and navigator etc etc as Ford, may not have the same methods of working stuff out as his brother but acutally knows a lot of disparate things, engineering, mechanics, physics, fishing, wierd loopholes in laws in different states and so on! Once weirdmageddon and the loss of memory has passed, Ford is genuinely touched by Stan's knowledge - a reminder of what he went through to get him back - as well as thrilled to speak to him on subjects that he never expected to share with his twin.

If he was asked whether he's a tits or ass man, he would say both, but honestly, he really loves thighs, I think he has a big attraction to curvy women in particular, but he would love his partner no matter what size/shape/gender (he's definitely bi, just more leaning towards hetero on the kinsey scale in my mind).

Stan is a menace when it comes to teasing, he's made an art form out of riling you up, loves when you get feisty with him. If you're bratty and push his buttons though, he'll give you time to run 🫠 will he give you a fair countdown or skip some of it? Depends on how generous he's feeling, so you better not stick around! Game for getting a little freaky, has a pair of handcuffs for this very reason, likes to be in charge but wouldn't mind being 'arrested' if it's by you 😉 (you can depend upon it that he knows how to escape them at any time though).

Total goof when he's relaxed, it's like being with a best friend, just be willing to get roasted on occasion (lovingly). You both watch ducktective and period dramas together, though he'll swear he's not into the latter - until he starts a running commentary on the plot.

[faerie-remuslupinsversion]

Hey so… fuck you jkr

Fuck you for making everyone in your book cis, straight, white, able bodied, English speaking and from England (and if they weren’t they were some kind of stereotype)

This is my personal middle finger to you.

Remus, welsh, trans ftm, gay, disabled, uses a cane, would definitely side with Luigi, definitely only married Tonks cause they both needed someone to support them, fuck you

Sirius, French, definitely got some gender fuckery going on, bi, beats the shit out of nazis/homophobes/transphobes, love of my life, fuck you

Peter, Australian, he doesn’t fucking know or care, he just likes people (sometimes), definitely joins Sirius in his violent conquests, fuck you

James, south Asian, pan, poly, bro just loves fucking everyone, he is incapable of hate (most of the time), would literally only hate you and Voldemort, fuck you

Lily, Scottish, bi, poly, angry as fuck, will whip ur ass for talking badly about any of her friends, she would eviscerate you online, twitter is her playground and she will make you her bitch, fuck you

Marlene, Aussie, lesbian, defo some gender fuckery too, one day she’s all girly pop, next she’s in knee length cargos, crew socks, a wifebeater and uggs, about to whack you over the head with her surfboard, fuck you

Mary, Swahili, bi, trans mtf, my goddess, is just genuinely, kinder, funnier and a better writer than you, omg I just decided Mary keeps these like rlly long diaries just full of stories she’s written, hol up while I write that down, fuck you

Pandora, god knows, she’s just turned up one day, pan, trans mtf (oh I’m not even done yet), speaks in tongues fluently, would defo shit talk you to Sybil, fuck you

Sybill, Czech, bi, ace, trans (she/they) (my knowledge only extends so far on the terms front) would calmly and incredibly gorely tell you how you are going to die, and then watch Barty carry it out, smiling, fuck you

Dorcas, where do we headcanon Dorcas is from? I think she grew up in London but that might just be because I need a token “grew up here” character, would beat you, don’t fight me, fight her, fuck you

Regulus, French, bi, poly, trans ftm, he is babygirl (this is a non gendered term to me) yeah sure he’s fucked up and makes mistakes and shit, he’s remorseful, he makes up for it, but still, he’s babygirl, because if he saw you, Hed spit on your shoes and tell you to turn to love, fuck you

Evan, German, he swears Dora just showed up one day, gay, bored, loml, I cried over him two days ago, he would also beat you up, or maybe just watch Barty do it, fuck you

Barty, English (wow look at that), trans ftm, gay, fucking crazy, I love him, would troll you on twitter, would call you John Rowling and ask how much you like it BITCHHH, fuck you

Is that everyone? It doesn’t feel like everyone. I am missing someone.

OHHHH LOVES OF MY LIFE WAIT

Bellatrix, French, lesbian, crazy bitch, I love her, defo dates Rita, would be a total misandrist except for when guys are useful to her, clung only Molly cause he reminded her of the people she loved (Cissy, Rita, Andy) and would hate you :), loves Peggy by ceechyna, fuck you

Narcissa, french, lesbian, swordfights, reads Sappho, is the fucking best, Queen of lavender marriages, would give you a mildly disgusted look and walk away, we are rather displeased with you

Andromeda, French, straight (whattt???), defo tops tho, don’t know much about her but I’d like to, give me fic recommendations, she seems fucking badass, she would kill you for her little gender fluid baby, fuck you

Rita, English, lesbian (it’s getting funny at this point), trans mtf (I’m shitting myself laughing with all my headcanons written out like this), dyslexic, fight me, that quick quotes quill was there for one reason and one reason only, so she could diss you with the spelling immaculate, fuck you

Alice, German, bi, genuinely a kind person, would get incredibly angry at you if you hurt anyone she likes feeling though, wouldn’t hurt you or anything, just go best red and start crying (tears of anger) while saying mean things about you, then cissy would come over, and then she’d punch you, only if cissy said to though, fuck you

Ted, English (Yorkshire, I just know it), cis het, he does bottom though, fight me, seems genuinely kind, we love to see it, just a nice guy, fuck yeah, still fuck you though

Behold them in all their glory, no particular order or reasons. Just vibes

If I forgot anyone, pls tell me, :))) I don’t want to tag this, it’s gonna be everywhere.

I reached 30 tags so quickly,

Damn

[little-annie]

NSFW STEDDIE & STOBIN TEXT CHAIN

Steve normal text. Robin’s Bold. Eddie's Italicized Bold

---

___Bird Brain___

Rob

Bobby

Bobin

What? Im literally right next to you

And were at work Dingus get off of your phone.

No.

I'm. Uh.

?

You know the shop across the street???

?

The mecanic

Mecanic

Fuck

Mechanic

Okay.

They have a new guy

Okay.

And?

Gay.

Literally, what?

I think I'm gay.

Steve

Cuz like he's just so pretty

Steven

And that Haut

Stephanie

Hair

Hey whore

Wut

Bathroom talk. Now.

Were working.

You and I both know no one rents movies on a Tuesday at 10am

Bathroom.

Now.

To the porcelain thrown

You know sometimes I forget youre an idiot 20 something

then you go and say shit like that

…

Bitch.

Whore.

---

How do I tell if a mans gay or whatever its is that I am,

,

Fuck

?

Bi schedule

Bi sexual

Ducking auto correct

Babe. I hate to break it to you but your auto correct is as dyslexic as you are. You basically train it

I-

Huh.

Well ghen.

Anywho.

Gay.

Whats he wear? Any piercings? Tattoos? Whats his hair like?

Oh! This is important. DOES. HE. HAVE. A. HANKY. IN. A. BACK. POCKET???

black overalls and a black shirt. Lots. I think. His ears literally look shiny from across the street. Lots of tattoos too.

And yes??? What's that have to do with anything? My papa had a hanky and I'm pretty she he wasn't gay

He probably was. Being Bisexual is genetic.

Actually?

No Dingus.

But like the man was in the navy? Right?

Ya

Gay.

Stfu

ANYWAY

HANKY.

YES.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

FUCK YEAH.

WHATS IT LOOK LIKE AND WHAT POCKET?

???

it's black

Oh hes kinky

What side pocket

It switches.

I bet it does

Gay.

That is a gay man Steven.

Go get your dick sucked or your booty bumped or whatever it is the kids are doing these days.

Eating ass

EXCUSE

yeah. It's a thing.

:0

Robin you literally munch so much carpet. whats the difference if its the rug at the back door.

Never.

Ever.

Say.

That.

Again.

Bubble bath privileges revoked.

You whore.

---

The bath is sad with no bubbles Bob.

Make your own.

…

Okay. Ew. Stop. Stink ass. I can hear you. And the neighbors probably can too.

Are you sorry?

Not really.

Well pretend to be.

Kay.

IM SO SORRY

…

:’(

better

Your bubble bath is under the sink

:D

---

Eddie

Wut.

Thats your new lovers name.

WUT

ROBIN.

WHAT DID YOU DO.

---

*1 new message* Hi -the weirdo with long hair who works across the street (Eddie)

---

I hate you

BTW babe you have a date on Tuesday

ROBIN IT IS TUESDAY

oh ya.

Well you have a date today gay boy

…

I need to leave

The fuck you do

Yeah. I fucking do.

I need to shower

And shave

And

I dont know

What do you do before a gay date

Prep?

For what?

Oh honey

---

Should this hurt?

8⁰

Don't tell me

Are u?

Yes.

Shut up.

…

Does it hurt

Like.

Kinda?

Lube. Oh my god. LUBE. Steve I swear to Dolly, if youre prepping your fucking asshole right now, IN THE FUCKING WORK BATHROOM

I

WILL

END

YOU

:*

Youre a whore. Oh my god.

STEVEN I CAN HEAR YOU.

STOP.

This is nice.

Why havent I done this before.

Where's the protest

Prostate

Rob?

Brain me. Educate me please.

…

Nvm

Oh fuck

Found it

Definitely found it

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

like good for you babe. I love you and support you but OH MY GOD YOU WHORE GET YOUR FINGERS OUT OF YOUR ASS WERE AT WORK.

…

You really think Id do that

Obviously

Im fucking with you

Im just googling shit and well taking a shit.

Fuck you

Love you

---

*2 New messages.* um. So. Im Eddie. Your coworker. Robin? Gave me your number and said we're going out tonight???

---

Dingus have you answered your husband yet

FUCK. NO. WHAT DO I SAY.

well you could send him a picture of your ass

Or your tits

Or your weeeen

Or all of the above

Like a package deal

Hehe. Package.

Robin.

Ugh. Wut.

Be serious.

Fiiiiine. Introduce yourself. Tell him youre excited for tonight. Make a plan for your date. (Other than the reservation I booked you at Enzos) and then tell him you thi know hes pretty and you want to have his babys.

He is pretty.

And like. Id definitely let him try to get me pregnant

ANSWER HIM.

FINE.

---

___Future Husband___

um. Hi. First of all I'm so sorry for my friend. She likes to get her nose into my business. Second.

…

Ithinkyourereallyprettyandimexcitedfortonight.

At the risk of being too forward. I like literally saw you my first day at the shop and have wanted to talk to you since. Cuz. Yeah. Pretty doesnt even begin to explain what you are. Like. Bro. Have my babies.

FUCK

I CANT BELIEVE I SAID THAT

disregard the baby thing

I dont know about getting pregnant. But Im up for practice.

Like.

If you are???

8⁰

… like

Now?

My breaks in 20

Fuck

Really?

Meet me at the van across the street

:*

---

___Bird Brain___

STEVE

STEVEN

YOU WHORE

ARE YOU GETTING YOUR BACKDOOR RUG MUNCHED ???

OMG

YOU ARE

THE VAN ACROSS THE STREET IS SHAKING

AND ID BET YOUR LEFT NUT THAT YOURE IN IT

…

GET IT I GUESS BABE

DONT GET PREGNANT

OR DO

YOU DO YOU BOO

…

youre on your own for the rest of the day Birdie

And where the fuck do you think youre going

Eddies

…

Boo you whore

But like. Get it babe.

But I also hate you.

I dont want to work in this shithole alone

Steven

Answer me

Hi Robin

This is Eddie

On Steves phone

Steve's a little… preoccupied

OH MY GOD

WHAT HAVE I DONE

YOU TWO ARE GOING TO BE DISGUSTING

BUT BRO. ILL END YOU IF YOU BREAK HIS HEART

STRAIGHT UP DIG YOU A GRAVE IN THE DITCH AND BURN OFF YOUR FINGERPRINTS AND BREAK YOUR TEETH SO NO ONE CAN IDENTIFY YOUR BODY.

COLD CASE BRO

what would you do about my tattoos

Fuck you

Sorry. Positions taken.

Id burn your whole body. No skin = no tattoos

I like the way you think

But in all seriousness

Mmmm imma gonna marry this boy

Hopefully before the end of the week

Fuck yeah

I call best man

[etoileee]

please please please tell me what percy is like😛

PERCY JACKSON IN MY DR Ψ

I’m so sorry this took so long! I don’t know why but I genuinely find it so hard to describe literally anything from my dr, like when I’m asked for example what Percy is like, I can’t come up with words that describe him... I just get these abstract thoughts and emotions that I associate with him.

It might be the fact that I'm dyslexic lmao but going on;

I don't consider Percy Jackson intimidating, but he definitely can be 1000%

He isn't shy at all, for example when I first met him we made eye contact, and he DID NOT look away. like I won't lie sometimes when I make eye contact with people I try and see if I can make them look away first just for the fun of it, but no he put my ass in my place that day.

I made a post talking about how people too often forget that he's a New Yorker and borderline juvenile and a lot of you thought it was funny but I am SERIOUS SEND HELP

He's a bit blunt, very honest. if he doesn't like some shit you're doing he'll tell you. I mentioned in my last post that he isn't afraid of confrontation and truly I mean it, I'm the type that tries to avoid it but once the opportunity presents itself he jumps to it, and he WILL fight ur ass, especially if it's someone he cares about that's on the line.

besides that part of him, I also noticed he is very protective. again, especially about people he cares about. he is the type that will defend you if he's with people who are talking badly about you and then tell you what they said about you then never talk to them again.

In my dr him and I just recently met so I haven't really experienced protective Percy, he did end up defending me two times, once during Capture the Flag and once when we were training, and both times I was honestly shocked. like I know his fatal flaw is his loyalty, but I didn't think he would say anything in my defence.

When I told him "You didn't have to do that" he got annoyed. dead ass told me "Why wouldn't I?" alright then... lemme shut up

HE IS SOOO SASSY

He's leading the sassy man apocalypse I've watched him roll his eyes when Dionysus talks or literally when anyone says anything he doesn't like... like okay princess calm down.

It's honestly really funny though I giggle a lil when I notice him getting annoyed.

something else I noticed is that low-key he's good with kids and it's really cute to watch. He's awkward as hell yes but he's good at helping them not doubt themselves.

I watched him help a group of what I think were nine-year-olds with sparring, he was a bit of an awkward teacher yes but after a few encouraging words their little doubtful faces went away, and once they got it right he would be like "See? I told you, you could do it."

Those memes that are like "Percy from his pov" and it's him just thinking he's an average teenage boy and then the "From everyone else's pov" and he's like a god are so accurate he's a little bit mesmerizing ngl.

overall I like Percy, but we're both trying to figure each other out and its so obvious. I wouldn't say we're friends yet, but we might be getting there. slowly but surely 😭

as of right now our relationship is that of two people forced into a group project for school that are slowly getting to know each other

[sourpatchys]

My personal Headcannons for Daryl Dixon that I will defend with my life

Just a warning! there is some nsfw❤️‍🔥 content in this list (not a ton)

This is a list full of random Headcannons I have, some are xreader related, some are just fun little things I’d like to believe because they’re fun

He l o v e s head scratches and chin scratches, just like a dog, his mom used to do it to him as a kid, it’s just really comforting to him

He is 100% dyslexic, he’s super insecure about it, which is why he leaves reading and writing up to anyone else who’s willing to do it.

This dude is secretly a math wiz. It came super easy to him, but he does tend to keep it on the down low because it was never something he was allowed to be proud of as a child, and it’s not really a needed skill anymore

I personally do not believe Daryl did anything hard while running around with Merle, Shrooms and weed were his limit 99.99% of the time, unless he felt pressured, but even then it would take a lot of convincing

He’s very self conscious about how thick his accent can get, he grew up in a much more rural area than the rest of Rick and Co. (apart from Maggie of course) and he feels out of place with his speech patterns at times.

Daryl was definitely a highschool drop out, assuming his birthday is January 6th, he left as soon as he was old enough to do it without a parent’s consent (18)

I just know this man never got his license. Can you imagine him paying his way through classes and taking a drivers test? I can’t. He probably just got a state ID for booze and just drove around illegally (if he got an ID at all, I’m sure he knew quite a few places that didn’t card)

He runs hot, the cold is a lot easier for him to handle than the heat, which is why he tended to wear sleeveless shirts or half sleeves

He has never had a “crush” in his life. He’s thought people were hot before, of course he has, but romance was never really on his mind

He’s not a total virgin, but he’s not exactly skilled either. His body count is probably 3, and I guarantee you he was not sober before, during, or after.

He’s a thigh and breast man. Hands down.

I know deep in my soul that this man enjoys some face sitting.

He’s not an overly sexual guy, if you were asexual he’d be okay with never doing anything, so long as you were happy

If you’re nonbinary, he was definitely mean to you at the start, with the way he was raised it simply didn’t make any since to him, BUT once you get closer and he starts to trust you, he might (he will) start asking some questions to understand you better

He isn’t a pet name kinda guy. He’s completely on board with calling you sunshine or princess, but anything past that just isn’t for him, and he really isn’t a fan of you giving him one either, unless it’s just a joking matter like how Carol calls him “pookie” from time to time

He’s a morning person and he hates it. He always wakes up at the ass crack of dawn, and every time he wishes he hadn’t.

He is definitely an insomniac, likely derived from having night terrors as a kid

He’s definitely self conscious about his scars, but not enough to cause issues if anyone happened to see them, he isn’t ashamed of them, but he doesn’t want to explain where their from, and he genuinely hasn’t thought of a good enough lie to tell instead.

When rick saw them for the first time Daryl had him fully convinced he was in a fight with a bear for about a week (rick never asked for the real reason)

He has a heavy sweet tooth, and likes to keep hard candy with him at all times (if possible) and he has never, and will never, pass up chocolate in any form.

He genuinely has chicken scratch for handwriting, he does not plan on ever attempting to make it easier to read, he enjoys the struggle people face when he’s put in a position where he has to write anything down. (Plus it helps conceal his errors if they do figure it out)

He does genuinely want kids in his life. Even if they can’t be his biologically. Being “uncle Daryl” is the best feeling he’s ever experienced, and he really wants to experience that with you if you’d allow it/want it (he would never pressure you to have kids)

Headaches and migraines plague his existence and they always have

He had super long hair as a kid and one of his punishments was his dad shaving it all off, which is why he kept it short until after the outbreak.

He would let you paint his toenails, or match his middle finger with whatever polish you decided to wear

This dude HATES clowns. Seeing a walker in a clown get up would absolutely kill him on the inside

You got sick? Don’t worry about it, he will absolutely attempt to make you soup from scratch using bone marrow and whatever else he can find

Fishing is not his thing. He knows how to, but he much prefers just catching them by hand or with a spear.

The closer you two get, the more likely he is to try and convince you that Bigfoot is real

Daryl is a secret star wars fan

He does NOT like country music, Led Zeppelin, Rob zombie, Ozzy osbourne and Lamb of god are much more his thing

He wasn’t a technology kind of guy, so if you tried to explain any aspect of social media to him he’d be completely lost (he didn’t even have a cellphone)

He has a super dry sense of humor

If he had to choose between starving to death or eating plain Cheerios, he would choose death.

One of the reasons he isn’t big on showering is because he doesn’t have a strong immune system from his childhood neglect, and he doesn’t want to shock his body and get sick

He also just hates the way soap feels on his skin. It’s way too sticky

During sex, he’s not strictly dominant or submissive, he’s ready to adapt to whatever you want, even if that means being strictly vanilla

He’s afraid of Santa Clause

And the Easter bunny

He’s willing to try anything once, even if he doesn’t think he’ll like it

He knows a lot of information on plants and herbs, so depending on your mood, he’ll try to find a flower to brighten your day with a little scribbled note explaining its meaning (because you can actually read his atrocious writing)

He’s never once told you he loves you, and your relationship wasn’t a spoken fact. His actions tend to speak louder than words, and if you say you love him, he will occasionally reply with a “back at ya.” Or “me too”

He always has weird shit in his pockets, like cool rocks he found, dead flowers, and fallen leaves.

He genuinely does not understand a single thing that Eugene says, and he never has.

The first time he ever kisses you on his own (you 100% have to make the first move) it’s a very rough and embarrassed act where he just grabs you and plants one in ya before you can even think about what’s happening

He will change his favorite color to whatever yours is, because if you can see beauty in it, then it’s all he can see from then on out

[14dayswithyou]

Teo NSFW Alphabet

🔞 18+ CONTENT! MINORS: DO NOT INTERACT! 🔞 Hello Teo Alvarado Nation, I come bearing gifts

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

For one night stands; Teo will casually point out where the bathroom is and let them use any of his personal products —before ignoring them in favour of his phone or organising an Uber/chauffeur to pick them up. But for regular hookups; he'll have a towel, a bottle of water, and some snacks ready on standby. They are welcome to stay the night, but they better be gone before Teo wakes up in the morning.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

Necks :) He likes how nicely his fingers look wrapped around his partner’s throat — as well as the expensive jewellery he buys specifically for them to wear. I know everyone probably expects me to say that Teo likes his own face the most, but he honestly might prefer his own biceps instead. He's worked hard to maintain this kind of build, so it's only natural for him to want to show off the results.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

The only time you'll ever get to see his cum is if you give him head; otherwise, he'll use a condom (or send you home if there are none available). But!! His seed is somewhat thick and has a bitter taste. It's not unpleasant, though!

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He's probably had a sexual escapade or two with a few of the other library employees by now ^^; He won't go anywhere near your immediate coworkers, though — he's not that much of an asshole.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

Sexually? There's almost nothing this man hasn't done already. He's extremely skilled, knows what he wants, and isn't afraid to ask for it if his partner(s) are willing. Romantically, however? That's an entirely new realm to him. Theo has probably never held anyone's hand before or kissed them with affectionate intentions. He knows how to fuck, but he doesn't know how to make love.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Doggystyle, in front of a mirror. He likes being able to pull his partner's hair, slap their ass, or place a hand on their neck/shoulder blade to bend them to his liking. Seeing his partner's face might be a bit too intimate for him, so any position that lets Teo fuck undisturbed is good in his books.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

While he's far more serious, he'll entertain any goofy partners. If they crack jokes or do something silly, he'll roll his eyes and go along with it — for the most part. Once it starts getting old, he'll simply ignore it.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Most of his body is hairless for his own personal preference, though he does grow out his happy trail on occasion... Especially if he knows his regular partners are into it. It's a dark patch of black to match the hair on his head.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Literally non-existent. When he sleeps with someone, it's because he's either looking for a bit of fun or to let off some steam. Both parties are aware of this, though, and Teo would never have sex with someone who sees him in a romantic light or wants something more than a casual hookup. I can't believe this is happening, but if it's blog!Teo (aka Rosie and Jesse delulu AU /pos), then he would be waaay more intimate with his partner! He's more likely to make eye contact and even lean in for a kiss if you beg him enough.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Although he'd definitely jack off if necessary, Teo is typically around people who are willing to help him blow off some steam — so there isn't really much point. Teo does find the idea of mutual masturbation hot, though!

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

My dyslexic ass doesn't know how to spell it correctly, but he's got a crying kink!!! Seeing his partner so overwhelmed with pleasure just does something to him, and it goes hand in hand with his degradation and knife kink. However, I want to make it explicitly clear that Teo doesn't get off to seeing his partner in pain!! He also wouldn't do something they're not comfortable with. Everything gets discussed before the relationship situationship can delve into anything more long-lasting.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He loves to do it inside his McLaren (or Tesla, in Blog! Teo's case). His windows are heavily tinted so you don't have to worry about any outside interference, though Teo isn't above threatening to wind down the window inch by inch in order to tease you. Other than that, Teo is down to fuck almost anywhere that's hygienic and sanitary. But keep in mind that he also gets a kick out of public indecency, and bribing the law isn't above him either (if you guys somehow got caught).

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Sending him risque texts, telling him you're bored and alone, unabashedly sitting in his lap while he's with his friends, literally taking his hands and shoving them down your pants, etc. He likes people who are confident and forward with him without feeling ashamed or embarrassed by it. ...Just don't make it seem like you're trying to claim ownership over him, though. Don't cling to his side to make his friends jealous. Don't send him spicy texts because you saw him flirting with another man. And don't act brazen just to flaunt your relationship in front of that cute souvenir shop cashier.

N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

To be honest, there isn't much that Teo is not open to. He's down for almost anything so long as it's legal and not too immoral/outlandish. He's fine with somnophilia if it's discussed prior, but things like dubcon might be a bit too icky for his tastes. Keep in mind that he's also really selfish, and would probably want to stick to his own kinks since they are more familiar to him.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He was born to be a pillow princess, but wouldn't mind going down on his regular hookups either.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

It's always hard and rough with him, though he likes to switch up the tempo in order to tease you/his partners. Just when you think you're about to come, he'll slow down and ultimately stop moving. And once you've sufficiently begged him enough — maybe turn on the waterworks to really get him going — then he'll give it to you fast and hard until your toes are curling and your eyes are rolling back.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He's Corland Bay's king of quickies lmao. Teo is the type to pull you (and your clothes) aside and take you where you stand before going about his day as if nothing happened.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He's always down to take risks and experiment! Teo is open to trying out almost anything — and unlike Ren, he's more in favour of having others see you both get fucked. Teo knows he's good and wants to show the both of you off.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

While 3-4 rounds might not sound like much, Teo tends to draw them out for as long as possible. It's almost like he's trying to edge you with how often he'll stop before you can reach your peak... But the orgasms always feel that much better for the both of you when you're especially horny and desperate for release. I think the better answer would be that Teo can last at least six hours in the bedroom.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He doesn't use anything on himself, though Teo does have a small box of toys for his partners who prefer it. I wouldn't count his knife collection as toys, nor the literal police handcuffs stashed away in his drawer. (Which, ironically, were used to detain him after he vandalised a small business..... Why did they let him keep the cuffs.... How did he get away with it.........)

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Teo isn't one to be a physical tease (he doesn't have the patience for it), though he is a massive verbal tease in the bedroom. More often than not, his words are mixed with a degrading edge to it. "My thigh ain't enough for you? Then why don't you try begging me for more, then. C'mon, I know you can do it." / "You want more? Move your hips then." / "Hands on the mirror, doll. I never gave you permission to touch yourself." / "Look at you, crying while bouncing on a cock like that. Can't handle it splitting you open like that, huh?" / "Fuck. Can't help but act like such a cock-hungry slut, can you? I'm not even all the way in yet."

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He mainly uses low grunts and growls, though he does use a lot of dirty talk to fill the silence. Teo gets more vocal the closer he is to coming.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Blog!Teo only ever kisses Angel :) It's already kinda hinted at in all da NSFW fics with him involved, but I'll take advantage of this situation and make it more official hehe

X = X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)

I ERASED HIS PENIS FROM MY MEMORY, But I wanna say it's around 7 inches and extremely girthy. There's a prominent vein or two running along the underside with a slight curve to the left when erect. Even when soft, it looks like he's packing heat down there.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Teo has a high sex drive, but he can easily manage it. Surprisingly, he probably only has sex like... maybe four or five times a week? He's too busy being a public menace and setting things on fire. Now that I think about it, I do quickly want to reiterate that while, yes, Teo is a playboy; that isn't his defining personality trait. Since the very beginning, he's always been a lover of chaos and messing with people (/nsx) — not sleeping around. Flirting =/= sex, and Teo has always been so much more than just a hedonistic fuckboy. So please don't take this post as confirmation of him only being interested in sex (or sleeping with Angel)!!

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Teo will most likely stay up a bit longer just to scroll through social media on his phone, though he is willing to initiate pillow talk if it's with one of his FWBs/regular hookups. If it's a one night stand, he'll only fall asleep once they're gone.

[kinardsevan]

with him being calm and collected, good with cars, reliable friend, etc etc i want to see imperfect tommy. what do you think he's *not* good at?

i love the headcanon that he can't cook, but in ~my head, the man knows his way around a kitchen.

he's dyslexic. he has multiple ways of dealing with this, given that he also deals with auditory processing, but having Evan around has been a game-changer, because his boyfriend will break shit down for him into minute detail and he doesn't have to read shit.

Tommy loves chocolate. He's really good about maintaining his diet for the most part, especially because he loves bodybuilding, but when he gets his hands on candy, it's like a green-eyed monster appears. He absolutely WILL fight with Evan over who ate the last brownie, or who finished the last of the kisses out of the candy bowl and didn't have replacements on hand. (it's usually him, but he's not going to admit it)

getting raw about the trauma he hasn't processed. our boy has done years of therapy and is pretty good about being able to be open about what he's faced/moved on from. but there are some things that he keeps close to his chest and still struggles with, and he definitely struggles with being honest about having problems about his triggers. Evan can always tell though when he's been triggered because Tommy is so good at being calm no matter the situation that when something does bother him, it's all over his face, and Evan won't move forward until they've at least discussed what brought it on.

picking up his clothes. look, he's lived by himself for almost two decades. he knows what he's looking for and where he last left it, and if he needs to find those socks, he left them in the bathroom. he'll find them later. (this drives Evan crazy and they argue about it a lot. there's a hamper in almost every room now.)

he can't deal with upsetting kids. he's constantly got a separate part of his chocolate stash now, just for Jee, Chris, Denny, and Mara. of course, he tells them regularly, "if your parents find out, you didn't get it from me" (Evan swears he knows nothing about this). (all their friends absolutely know it's Tommy giving their kids sugar). (he refuses to buy sugar-free)

-this does bite him in the ass one time. he gives Jee chocolate after she bangs her knee one night, jumping at him from the couch and hitting the coffee table. she's fine pretty quickly, but she's also up way past her bedtime because of the snack

he has NO organization of his music or movie library. again, this makes Evan crazy. Evan has specifically curated playlists for everything (including the one they share in which they're constantly sending one another songs that make them think of each other), and Tommy just willy-nilly throws things together (or worse, lets Spotify curate his Daily's and is satisfied with those.) When Tommy proposes, the first thing Evan tells him is that he's in charge of the music, lest their first dance end up being something god-awful suggested by the internet.

he can draw. he can paint. he can throw a pot. he can shoot photos decently (not as well as Evan). he can't sew to save his own life.

also, on the food thing: Evan is great with recipes. Tommy can just do natural chemistry in the kitchen. however, whenever he tries to follow a recipe, he ends up fucking it up. cooking together ends up always being an adventure because of this, because Evan is very meticulous about how things are made, but Tommy goes by his tastebuds and what sounds good. sometimes it works out. sometimes they end up ordering takeout.

...sometimes someone ends up covered in dessert toppings.

[bellsluvschrissturn]

a chris book where reader has a boyfriend and chris is his best friend and chris stays at readers and boyfriends house and when boyfriend goes out reader and chris have tension (with smut and they get caught"

WHAT…THE…FUCK

Warning: unprotected sex, riding,pet names, baby, mama,handsome,

chris sturniolo x reader

Author note: what's good sluts don't read if you are not into it, don’t bitch and complain if you don’t like shit like this grown the fuck up, anyways enjoy bitches I would say MDNI but you little shits won’t listen to me so fuck it. I'm dyslexic don’t come for me if sum shit isn't spelled right i don't wanna hear shit. DO NOT CHEAT ON YO MANS OR YO WOMANS

Chris pov:

I’m currently walking up to my friends house his name is Jason we are going to have a boys night with his girl but I don’t mind she’s kinda hot and we have some tension I know I shouldn’t like her because she’s with my friend but she is so fine and I just can’t help myself

Y/n’s pov:

I can’t help but smile as I think of Chris coming over to spend the night he is so hot but I’m dating his friend so it’s really not fair to Jason but Chris is so hot and kind and most definitely has a bigger dick then Jason

I’m currently changing into my ‘pj’s’ which is a white undershirt with pink hello kitty shorts that make my ass look good

Then I here a knock at the door and my heart starts beating super fast I walk down the stairs going to greet him but Jason had opened the door already “hi Chris” I say as I walk to the kitchen to get snacks “h-hi” he stutters I smile to myself knowing I made him flustered

Chris’ pov:

Holy shit she looks so hot her ass looks so good and I can see her tits perfectly in that shirt oh lord have mercy on me I’m getting hard I need to control myself, did- did I just stutter shit shit shit

y/n’s pov:

I'm making popcorn right now for the three of us so we can watch a movie but we don't have popcorn “jason!” “what” he replies “ we don't have popcorn can you run to the store and get some?” “bro i told you chris was coming over why didn't you get some at the store” “i forgot

‘ you say “ fine, chris i'll be back” “ ok man” Jason grabs his keyes and slides his crocs on, then leaves you hear the car turn on and the tires crunching the pebbles on the ground. You see chris staring at your ass as you bend down to pick up a piece of trash on the floor. “Chris” you say “hmm?- ya” he says “ were you looking at my ass?” “ n-n-no….. yes” he replies

You go to take a seat next to him when you see a bulge in his pants “ chris are you hard” “y-ya” “ want me to do something about it” “yes please” “ok” you say as you start palming him “ please please” “please what baby” “please ride me mama?” “ okay baby” you said as you take your shorts off along with your thong, you then proceed to take his shorts off with his boxers you spit on your hand to use it as lube you rub his tip up and down your folds “ fuck mama your so wet” “ just for you baby” you say “ I’ve wanted to fuck this pussy since I’ve seen you sitting there with Jason let’s see if I fuck you better than him” “ oh ya you will look at this girthy long cock baby your like 9 inches Jason is 4 inches that mother fucker never makes me cum I always have to get myself off when he’s gone” “ fuck that shit” Chris says Chris says as he slides his cock into her dripping core “ oh fuck oh fuck Chris omg your huge uh-ughhh” she moans as Chris thrust harder “omg it feels so good Chris oh fuck your so big and it ughhhhhhhhh” “oh fuck I’m cumming I’m cuhm cuhm-“moaning is all you hear after that “oh fuck let it out mama” “ughh” she moans at the nickname “oh you like that” “ oh fuck I’m gonna cum in this fucking pussy” “ cum in me Chris cum in me” Chris is moaning like a madman as he spills his seed into her then they get cut off my the door opening “I’m home” Jason says as he turns and sees his friends dick inside his girlfriend “ what the fuck.” “ I’m sorry man she’s just so hot and kind … and you treat her like shit” Chris says “ plus he’s not a 3 inches” you add onto it and Chris is struggling to hold his laughter in “ get the fuck out of my house…” “ bitch this is my house I’m the only one who works I’m the only one who pays the bills so you can’t take your no money broke ass back to your mommas house and the PS-5 is line I bought it!” Jason scoffs as he grabs the car keys and try’s to leave “ mother fuxker out my damn car keys down I swear if you even touch my dodge charger I will bust your ass walk” you say as your putting the last of your clothes on Jason walks out and calls you a bitch but you don’t even care anymore Chris smirks at you “ so… round 2?” You turn around slowly with a mother fucker are you serious look but say “ ya” and get out of your clothes again

THE END

@sammy-xx @miss-tyummy @itsfloriii @h3arts4harry

I totally forgot to post it and it’s my last day for a while is crazy I’ll miss you all I’ll be home soon guys don’t worry 😢 I love you guys 🫶🏼

[starlitiris]

making the phantom troupe ✨ neurodivergent ✨

before getting into this I wanna say that i'm not including Kalluto, Hisoka or Illumi in this and I didn't add Kortopi, Bonolenov or Franklin cause I didn't know what to do for them </3

and! a handful of these neurdivergencies are things I also have, but if any of you have something mentioned here and you feel like I misrepresented the condition/got something wrong, please let me know and correct me!

i'd also love to hear what your guys' neurodivergent/disorder headcanons are for the phantom troupe PLEASE do not be shy

okay enough yapping, here are the headcanons

Nobunaga

ADHD out the ass

Bro can and will zero in on something aggressively and not realize how much time has passed till his stomach growls or someone else gets his attention

Almost ALWAYS forgets what he walked into a room for and sometimes won’t be able to remember for hours

He zones out a lot when Troupe members are trying to explain something to him that he has zero interest in

CHRONIC LEG BOUNCER

And foot tapper

He also does little bouncies when he’s standing around

Please don’t ever give him a pen that clicks

He’ll click it nonstop and won’t even realize he’s doing it until someone brings attention to it

He for sure has his moments where he's feeling extra irritable or anxious for seemingly no reason

Feitan

AUTISM OUT THE ASS

No, I’m not headcanoning this because he’s apathetic

Miss me w that shit

He’s just an apathetic person because of everything he’s been through

Not great at masking but he does mask

HATES being touched do NOT TOUCH HIM ew

Exclusively wears long sleeves. Cannot stand short sleeved shirts, he hates the way it feels on his arms

Misses a lot of emotional social cues and his apathetic nature certainly doesn’t help with that but it’s not like he cares much

The Troupe is used to him being like this so they aren’t too bothered

Thinks he looks fucking stupid when he stims so he tries not to unless he’s completely alone

He will let loose a LIIITTLE when he’s alone with just Phinks though since those two are pretty close but he still tries to make his stimming as non-obvious as possible

It also helps for him to stim with his hands in his pockets

He often taps his thumb and index finger together or rubs his knuckles

REALLY hates feeling cold and can't stand the sticky feeling of dried blood on his skin

Despite this, he rarely wears gloves when he's "working" simply because he no no wanna

Phinks HAS called him out on this. A few times.

Machi

Dyslexic

Hates it

So much

Seriously doesn’t understand why she can’t just fucking READ and SPELL as easily as everyone else

Like she KNOWS how to read and spell so like???? WHY does she even struggle with it it should be such an easy thing to do

That’s how she thinks

She gets embarrassed when people catch her struggling to read or spell something

It makes her feel dumb and she hates it :[

Thank god for ai assistants like siri and shit

She definitely uses them to ask how to spell things when no one else is around and she can’t remember

Gets kinda pissed at herself when she realizes way too late that she made a typo on something

Phinks

Prosopagnosia (face blindness) and aphantasia (when you can’t form mental images in your head)

Thought his aphantasia was completely normal for THE LONGEST time

He almost didn’t believe it when other Troupe members were telling him that they could clearly form mental images in their heads

It was a huge “what the fuck” moment for him

The amount of times he’s heard the phrase “you don’t remember me?” just cause he couldn’t recognize someone by their face alone

Of course he’s still able to recognize people from their voices, clothes, hair, body shapes, etc

But when it comes to people he doesn’t see often, he’s completely lost until he’s told the person’s name and where they met and shit

He’s offended quite a few people by not recognizing them

They assume he couldn’t be bothered to remember them but in reality he probably would if he could remember faces

Shalnark

He has bipolar 1

His mania doesn’t get too crazy but it’s noticeable for the Troupe and any other people that he spends a lot of time with

His highs tend to be more intense than his lows but he definitely still has his lows

And the lows are also noticeable

He gets bags under his eyes from having a difficult time falling asleep and STAYING asleep, and he has a very clear decrease in energy

Sometimes Troupe members feel the need to ask him if he’s feeling alright but he always answers with “yeah I’m fine!” and moves on

The amount of shit he's bought on impulse though

He's good at managing his finances until he's manic and sees something he wants

Bro won't look at price tags

"Ehh I'm sure it'll be fine!" two days later he's in the red and goes complaining to Troupe members about it as if he shouldn't have expected that

It's probably a good thing that his role in the Troupe is more centered around gathering information and not combat

I know damn well he'd get too cocky in a fight depending on wtf his brain chemistry is doing

Shizuku

Do i even need to say it

Bitch (respectfully) is autistic as hell

With some good ol’ ADD sprinkled in there

Her attention span suffers greatly

She can pick up a book or a manga and not put it down to eat, sleep, or go to the bathroom until she finishes it or is forced to put it down

She knows it’s a problem and she really does try to remember to take breaks

Very blunt as we all know

Feitan will struggle to pick up on sarcasm SOMETIMES and uses sarcasm himself

This is not the same for Shizuku

Sarcasm does not register in her brain

She tried using sarcasm once and didn’t do it right so she gave up

She does try to mask a little bit in some situations but mostly doesn’t care enough to

Doesn’t mind stimming in front of people as much as Feitan does but she still does it a lot more in private

Pakunoda

Bipolar 2

Her depressive episodes feel longer than they are

She’s gotten a lot better at managing it as she’s gotten older though

She likes to journal her feelings when she can, it personally helps her process and deal with her emotions

She also writes reminders for herself and sets alarms so she doesn’t forget to take care of herself when she’s not feeling too well

Makes sure to praise herself for small victories! :)

She still has her days where she can’t bring herself to do some things, though days like those are less common now than they used to be

Her appetite definitely suffers because her depression, but the reminders and alarms she sets help her remember to eat, even if it has to be something small

She makes sure to get some self care in when she can, too. It's important to her

Uvogin

I hereby bestow thee with dyscalculia and OCD

Being anal about doing things at specific times is only a tiny sliver of his OCD-ness

Sometimes he’ll read the time on a clock wrong and he’ll panic for like 0.2 seconds

It fuckin stresses him out man

Sometimes he’ll tease Machi for having a hard time reading or forgetting how to spell/write a word and she’ll hit him with the “ok what’s 12 x 12 🧍”

Shuts him up real quick

He can count, add, subtract, multiply and divide but it still takes him a minute sometimes

He’ll just give up if he has to do math with fractions, decimals, numbers longer than three digits and any other complicated bullshit

He kinda gave up learning math when it started to literally give him headaches trying to figure it out so simple division and multiplication is as far as he cared to learn

If he’s faced with any math equation that intimidates him he will not even try

He just uses his phone or asks someone else to solve it for him

Okay back on the topic of OCD

He definitely has his repetitive movements that he does

They aren’t too obvious but the rest of the Troupe does notice them from time to time

Nobunaga said something about it one time and Uvo just brushed it off and changed the subject

He doesn’t like bringing attention to it

He also WILL recount and reread things multiple times

Most of the time he’ll only need to recount/reread something like 3-5 times but on bad days he’ll do it 10+ times

It is stressful

Phinks saw him recounting something like 13 times once and was like “bro u good?” and Uvo just snapped at him for fucking up his count

Chrollo

Autism and major depressive disorder

Masking KING (this is not a good thing)

Very touch avoidant like Feitan

He knows he struggles with some social cues and interactions and will sometimes overthink what he’s doing to avoid missing things or doing things wrong

He’s often hyper aware of what he’s doing and what the person he’s talking to is doing

One of his most common ways to stim is by rubbing things - like the corners of pages in his books, or the ends of his sleeves

Loathes being in loud areas. Please why is everyone talking so loud shut the fuck up Chrollo can’t hear himself think

There’s been times where he had to be in loud and bustling places for extended periods of time and once he was alone and in a quiet place he’d feel so so very drained and be nonverbal for hours

Really bad insomnia probably related to his MDD

Lays in bed for HOURSSSS unable to fall asleep

The amount of times he’s had to run on 2-3 hours of sleep is unreal

Listening to calm music and whale noises seems to help him fall asleep a little bit though

Don’t get me wrong he has good days, he’s not completely miserable, but MAN is this guy depressed

On bad days he’ll likely only have one meal or not eat at all

Phantom Troupe be damned if they notice he hasn’t eaten all day

Chrollo will insist he’s fine but some Troupe members aren’t having it

Sometimes someone like Paku or Shal will just go out and get him some food and place it in front of or next to him expectantly

Usually he’ll give up and eat the food

Unless he’s in a bad mood

I will say though, most days he eats at least two meals so it’s not like this is a super common occurrence

[arualthecolorfulfreak]

I'M BACK!! definitely not for long (TvT)

School can be fun, but it still has a lot of work. That has to be done that I can't find time for drawing my favourite duckies (T^T)

But as an apology for not having time and just being lazy, I give you a little bit of that and a little bit of those ☆☆☆☆

First!!

☆Louie x doofus toxic Au☆

Didn't feel like drawing his glasses in this one

I'm so sorry for my dyslexic ass if I made any mistakes

And now another one !!!

Just Louie, TwT I love drawing this dude

I won't lie. I had a lot of fun with this invisible pen

I guess that's it for now. I will probably later draw more toxic au because I missed it so much

And while drawing them, I was listening to this song, which is 100% them at least it suits Doofus in this Au

An unhealthy Obsession on youtube

BYE DUCKIES, I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A NICE MORNING, EVENING OR NIGHT. I LOVE YOU ALL!!♡♡♡ (●´ω｀●)

[inneedofthearpyandbitches]

König Headcannons!

- he probably joined the military because a family member he admired was also in the service and he wanted to be like them

- his music taste is as bipolar as he is, one sec he’s this big bad colonel listening to death metal, then he’s a socially awkward nerd who listens to Lana Del Ray

- totally a mamas boy, all he wants is for his mom to be happy and safe 🥺

- GINGER. HE IS A GINGER IF YOU DONT AGREE YOU ARE WRONG

- respects women so much he doesn’t go near them

- has goofy ass names for everyone in his contacts, like ghost would be “mall goth” or Soap would be “SCOTLAND FOREVER”. if he has siblings there names would be something like “crotch fruit”

- hates American football. Rugby is superior to him (same Konig. Same)

- relates to the movie, “the 40-year-old Virgin” a little too much. despite relating to that movie, he is not a virgin. He’s just very awkward when it comes to relationships and is only had one or two in his life, but neither of them were serious.

- still has the same stuffed animal he slept with as a kid on his bed to remind him of home

- naturally greasy hair, no matter how much he showers his hair always seems to be greasy

- his guilty pleasure is cheesy rom com movies (think Hallmark) and pretending he’s the main character that the pretty girl falls in love with

- loves Japanese ramen. (Definitely had a anime phase as a kid and was made fun of for it)

- He has a sort temper but usually there no heat behind his actions unless he’s in the field… then everyone in his arms reach is fucked

- mildly dyslexic, but plays it off as comedic misspellings

[bugs013]

“Shut up and kiss me.”

Janis ‘Imi’ike x Fem!Reader

Not my pics/gifs

Warnings- Men. Brief mention of assault, homophobia (if you don’t want to read that part just skip to the end flashback mark!), dyslexic writer lol, i think thats all but correct me if i’m wrong please!

A/N- am i the only one who firmly believes that Janis is a huge softie on the inside? Like in public she plays the big bad bitch but in private she’s an angel, like she’s definitely the type to massage your feet after a long day or switch food with you just because you said hers looks better. Yk what i mean? Anyway I’m completely open to criticism just don’t attack me too hard lol

It all started when Janis helped you get away from one of the creeps at school.

—flashback—

You were just minding your business at your locker when you felt a hand slap your ass, your jaw dropped open and you quickly spun around to see a random guy you didn’t know. You felt so embarrassed and you were speechless, frozen. “Whats up baby girl” he says smugly and you couldn’t do anything but feel disgusted. “Look at you,” He puts an arm around your shoulder. “You’re blushing.” Though your so called blush was from embarrassment and anxiety. You attempted to pull away but he tightened his grip. “So what are you up to tonight princess.” He asks but suddenly a voice responds. “She’ll be with me.” Janis ‘Imi’ike, you didn’t really know her well but you have classes together. “Let her go, she doesn’t want you.” Janis says as she took your hand and tugged you away from him. The guy got annoyed but didn’t do anything but scoff. “Of course, lesbians.” He rolled his eyes and walked away. You let out a breath of relief before turning to Janis and thanking her.

And thats when you become a trio with your best friends.

—flashback end-

“Babe, she likes you, you like her, it’s so painfully obvious!” Damian said to Janis who was rambling about wanting to ask Y/N out on a date. “You don’t know that. I mean she’s never even confirmed if she’s gay or not.” “Oh come on, you really think she’s straight? Have you seen the way she looks at girls? The way she looks at YOU.” He states. “What do you mean the way she looks at me? How does she look at me?” Janis says with confusion. He scrolls through his phone for a moment then turns and shows a photo to her. “Like this.”

Not my pic

“She does not look at me like that.” Janis said tho the thought of you looking at her that way makes her smile. “You’re so oblivious.” Damian rolls his eyes.

~~~~

“Guys! Guys!” You said, running to Janis and Damian in the hall, you immediately ran and hugged Janis, making her stumble backwards. “Oh-” “I passed! I passed the art presentation!” You said excitedly. “What?! I told you you could do it!” Janis said with a smile as she hugged you back, blush creeping up on her cheeks. When you pull back you have the biggest smile on you face. “Yeah because of you! If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t have passed!” Janis scoffed though everyone knew it was true. Without the help from Janis you’d have an F in that class. “Good job girl.” Damian chipped in before giving Janis a look and excusing himself, Janis knew she needed to take this as her opponent to ask you on a date. “Hey, uh- are you busy this weekend?” “Hm, not that i remember, why do you have plans?” “Well i was hoping we can hang out…um…just the two of us…” You smile, brows furrowed with curiosity. “Ok, where are we going? Your place?” “Well actually i have plans, but it’s a surprise. Meet me at the park on Saturday, around 10?” Janis say’s anxiously. You grin and nod. “Sounds fun! I’ll be there!”

~~~~

Saturday rolls around and soon you were walking into the park, you look around until you finally spot Janis, you can see she has a blanket laid on the grass with a picnic basket and some flowers sitting on it. You can’t help but smile as you walk over. “No way.” Janis turns and looks at you as she hears your voice, she smiles, a bit of blush growing on her cheeks. “You like it?” “Like it? I love it!” You hug her before the two of you sat down. You look around admiring the nature around you, and Janis. “This is amazing Janis. I’ve never been on a real picnic before.” You said with a excited smile. Janis returned your smile before opening the picnic basket. “I hope you’re hungry, i may have over packed.” She says with a little laugh. “In that case I’m starving!” You say with a giggle. Janis began pulling food from the basket, various finger foods such as; strawberries, cheese, crackers, etc. for drinks she packed some capri suns of multiple different kinds.

~~~~

The two of you ate and talked until it was eventually starting to get dark out. Time really flew by and neither of you noticed.

“Shut up! No you didn’t!” You said through your laughter. You had been sharing random funny stories about yourselves for a while now. Janis nods laughing as well. “It’s true! Ask Damian he was there!” You have been smiling and laughing so much that your cheeks were sore. “I wish i was there! Oh my gosh that killed me, i’ll never forget that!”

When you finally stopped laughing you laid down on the blanket and look up at the sky. Janis does the same, laying next to you but not too close. “The stars are pretty huh?” Janis said “mhm, not as pretty as you though.” You said in a whisper as you glanced over at her. Janis eyes widened a bit, she looks over at you with a confused expression, afraid she heard you wrong somehow. “Huh?” “Huh?” You repeat with a smirk tugging on your lips. Janis rolls her eyes and playfully slaps your leg as she sat up and looks at you. “Come on don’t play dumb. What did you mean by that?” You sat up as well and shrugged. “What do you think i meant?” “You’re calling me pretty but- but are you saying I’m pretty in a way like ‘oh you’re pretty’ or like ‘oh, you’re pretty” or even-” she rambles, You laugh before stopping her. “Janis- Janis stop.” She stops and looks at you. “I’m saying i like you, ok?” Janis felt her heart skip a beat. “You- you mean you like me, like- you like me as in ‘oh you’re my friend, i like you’ or-” you roll you eyes. “Janis!” She froze. “shut up and kiss me.” Janis smiles gently and nods a little and soon your lips met in a gentle, sweet kiss that made butterflies go crazy in both yours and Janis stomachs. The kiss went on for what felt like years until you both pull away slowly, cheeks flushed. “Wow” she muttered, you nod. “I like you Janis, i like you a lot.” You say as you interlocked your fingers with hers, looking down at her hands in yours Janis smiles, she looks at you again. “I like you too Y/N.”

[hyunsvngs]

For Hyunjin’s birthday I wanted to take what I did for his insert of “Noona/oppa kinks” I did a while ago because why not?!

content warnings: bf!hyunjin, hyunjin posing on the chair @ Versace is his outfit in this!!, birthday sex, switch!hyunjin (kinda?), switch!reader (kinda?), you call each others perverts, doggystyle, hair pulling (fem rec), oppa & noona kink (!!!!), overstimulation (fem rec), brief ass play (fem rec), pull out method (DO NOT DO THIS!! please practice safe sex!!), lovey-dovey stuff (my attempt at it anyways), lil surprise for reader @ the end, there may be typos 🤷🏻‍♀️ , i’m dyslexic so 🤓☝🏻… i feel like im forgetting stuff.. hmm

———————————————————

“Did you enjoy your birthday dinner, baby?” You asked from the right of him, his right hand on your upper thigh. Down the street from the restaurant you both ate at, Hyunjin steers the car in the direction of your shared home. A small smirk finds its way onto his face and he gives you a quiet mhmm. Your eyes scan over his side profile and butterflies awake in your stomach, the ones that remind you of all of the small touches and loving stares he made toward you from across the restaurant booth. You feel him squeeze your thigh.

He looked (and still does) absolutely unreal tonight. Of course anyone with eyes can say that about him every day... but tonight. Detailed in intricate designs, his shirt sits tucked into his faux leather styled jeans, adorned with a belt with a flashy belt buckle. His right wrist wears a beautiful black watch, and the left wrist is complimented with two colorful bracelets. Hands decorated in gorgeous rings. Two necklaces; one chunky and one a little thinner, hangs from his neck. He definitely took a few minutes to style his hair- most of it pushed back with little product, allowing strands to fall forward onto his forehead. Your left hand falls to his, still placed on your upper thigh.

Hyunjin knows you’re staring, he knows you’re checking him out. If the roles were reversed and you were driving, he would totally do the same. You look ravishing, your makeup compliments your features- eyelashes fanning out with mascara on, blush, contour and highlight in their respective places, and lips bare with some peppermint chapstick. Hair left completely undone, just some styled curls smoothed out with hair oil. Wrists and neck also adorned with simple jewelry, and to pull it all together, a simple pair of black heels on your feet.

Throughout the night, Hyunjin’s eyes naturally drifted from your face to all the curves your body has to offer. The square-neck, flowy black dress does nothing to hide the tops of your breasts. He remembers you clearing your throat to grab his attention. He knows he looks good, but he knows you know you look good too. Everyone knows those two things can create some tension.

Conversing with your boyfriend of three years still makes time fly by, 45 minutes of driving quickly come to an end when he pulls into the garage. Your hand reaches for the car door handle and Hyunjin doesn’t approve. “Seriously? Can’t even wait a second…” He scoffs, and you quickly look to him on your left and find him out of the car already, beginning to hurdle the hood of the car. You gasp then a chuckle leaves your lips. He opens the car door for you and you roll your eyes.

“Don’t give me that look, you haven’t touched a door in how long? And it’s still a habit? C’mon sweetheart.” He shakes his head in disappointment. You move around him and begin your walk towards the door that leads into the laundry room. Hyunjin is quick to follow your footsteps to open the next door, smacking your ass as you enter the threshold. “Sexy ass woman.” He whistles and eyes you up and down.

You wait for him in the connecting kitchen, the countertop digging into your ass due to your added height. “What are you thinking about?” He asks as he rounds the corner of the laundry room. He unbuckles his belt with one hand, ready to get comfortable and spend the rest of his birthday in bed (of course in a way more than lying down).

His head is tilted slightly as he looks you over; pink muscle poking out from between his lips a bit. When you don’t answer as fast as he’d like, he cages you in with his arms by gripping the countertops. He hums questioningly. “Noona,” he purrs. Your eyes shoot to his instantly. “Did you hear me? What are you thinking about?”

While maintaining eye contact, your right index finger finds the belt loop closest to his zipper and tug him towards your body. “Why don’t I show you what I was thinking about instead?” You whisper, and his surprised face pairs wonderfully with the hard-on that’s poking your hip. His lips part with a gasp. “You’re a fucking pervert- already hard like some loser!” You laugh at him, and just as he was gonna lean in and kiss you, you’ve gone and pissed him off.

His hand flies to the back of your head and tugs harshly at the hair. “Me? The pervert? Says the woman who was eye-fucking me from across the table not even an hour ago!” He’s spitting back, lips so close to yours. Your hand found its way to his waist, pulling him even closer just to feel his body on yours. He wins.

“Mhm.. oppa, please.” You look up at him through your lashes and when his hand moves from your hair to sit at your throat, lips collide. His other hand comes to the side of your face to aide him in tilting your head to deepen the kiss. He’s waited all night for this, impure thoughts flooded his mind the second he saw the dress you were wearing for dinner. For him, this was building with every look, every smile, every touch that was yours given to him. He feels like he’s on fire and while you fuel him… at the end of the day, only you can put him out.

Hands begin wandering on both accounts, Hyunjin’s begin to trace your breasts over the dress and yours are gripping his arms and back. A moan slips out of his mouth when you take things further and tug at his bottom lip with your teeth. “Mhm, fuck” He gasps. You push him away, trying to keep yourself together- almost like a competition; who can keep their sanity the longest?

“Where-where to? Couch? The bed?” He’s mumbling, his hands are starting to unbutton his pants when you grab his thick chain and lead him to the bedroom. What have I gotten myself into, he thinks.

You open the door yourself, Hyunjin too busy looking at you like a lost puppy. He kicked the door closed after you let him go, he’s almost caught off guard with your assertiveness- he’s standing there like a virgin, too scared to move.

“Noona.. wow.” He’s flustered, his pants are just barely hanging on his hips, belt and zipper undone. His hands are fishing out the shirt that remained tucked throughout the recent events. He takes in a deep breath to pull himself together and steps to you. His hands reach for the bottom of your dress, tugs it over your head and your secrets are out. No underwear, no bra, nothing but bare inspiration for his hungry eyes and artsy mind. Your nipples pebble due to the air in the room and your cunt is getting wetter by the second under his gaze.

He scoffs. “Again, talk about a fucking pervert.”

Your hands are quick to shut him up; it’s your turn to tug and pull at the fabrics covering his build. Pants thrown to the side and shirt on the corner of the bed somewhere behind you. His boxers are being pulled at by you, and he’s panting. You stand up after helping him out of his underwear, a quick kiss is exchanged.

“How do you want me, loverboy?” You ask, fingertips rest on his stomach. His bottom lip is stuck between his teeth, and when he releases it, you notice how red it’s gotten. He’s so ready for you, cocks pulsing between his legs

“Doggy, noona. Please. Bend that ass over for me.” He whispers. His hands find your waist to turn you away from him and walk you to the foot of the bed. His right hand pushes at your upper back while his left hand finds itself at your hip and pulls them back. Your knees sit on the edge of the bed, pussy and asshole on display for him. In almost every moment you find yourself like this for him, you’re embarrassed- you’re so hot and bothered that you couldn’t care less this time.

“Oppa,” You start. You’re looking back at him over your shoulder. You snake a hand to your clit not just to tease yourself, but also him. He watches your fingers circle your bud from between your thighs, and he cant help but just watch as you smooth your slick over yourself.

“Fuuuck me, baby.” He’s stroking his cock, one, twice three times. “You drive me insane.” A slap lands on your ass.

“Oppa, come on-“

“Shhh. I’ll take care of you, noona.” His cock head is poking at your entrance, there’s so much wetness, and he feels hot all over. A moan is ripped from your throat when he begins to push in, your gummy walls giving in so easily. “Holy shit, noona! You’re so tight.. all for me, huh?” He says with a teasing tilt to his voice. You nod so eagerly.

The hands on your waist grip a bit harder, and his thrusts speed up. The squelching from your pussy is almost as loud as the moans and gasps coming from you both. Hyunjin slows the pace enough to run a hand from your waist up your back to between your shoulder blades and push down, forcing your elbows to buckle under you.

“Noona, arch your back more, theeeeere ya go… what a good noona.” When your chest makes home on the bedsheets, his front meets your back and his hand finds its way back to your waist. He begins a trail of soft kisses from your right shoulder the middle of your back. He raises his right leg to place his foot next to your knee on the bed, allowing him to reach further into you.

“Oh my god! Oppa, you’re so deep!” You gasp, your legs begin to shake from the pleasure. This new angle allows his tip to ram directly into that gummy spot, and he knows it too. It’s hard to miss when you’re gasping and moaning in quick increments, body shaking like it’s a newfound pleasure, and your hands have found themselves buried in the sheets.

“Right there? It’s there, huh?” Hyunjin’s becoming cocky, your body giving in to the pleasure he’s giving you. And he’s aware that soon, very soon, you’ll cum. “Give me your cum noona, play with your pretty little clit- oh shit, you’re squeezing me so hard!” He borderline growls at you.

Your fingers are making quick circles to work your climax out, eyes rolling to the back of your head. You’re barely conscious, too overwhelmed by the white building heat… and his spit-covered thumb coming to rest over your puckered asshole, massaging the muscle does you in.

“O-Oppa! Cum-I’m-Fuck!” Your body pulses, and Hyunjin is holding you like you may actually fall apart. He just about let himself go too, the way you look as you cum is so beautiful, surely another inspiration for his sketchbook.

“Damn noona.. that was a big one, huh?” He quips. Your hips are being held up my his strong arms, but his thrusts are still relentless. You’re moaning and twitching from overstimulation, but he knows you enjoy it more than you let on.

“Give me your cum, oppa! Please!” You moan into the sheets.

The closer he gets to cumming, the harsher his inhales get. His hands become twitchy; one second he’s got a handful of tit, the next he’s digging his fingering into your ass- nothing seems to keep them at bay while his body experiences one of the highest forms of pleasure. “Oh fuck- oh fuck!”

He pulls out and the first rope lands on the back of your thigh, the rest stretching out over your back. He strokes himself to ride out his high, afterwards looking over you. You’ve got a soft smile on your face, a nice flush to your skin, and hair in a tussled mess. You look beautiful, he thinks, no amount of artwork can equal the amount of the beauty of you.

“Feeling good, baby?” Hyunjin takes a step back. After you hum back to him, he makes his way to the linen closet in the master bathroom. He’s quick to grab two towels, one dry and one damp. When he walks back into the room, you’re already standing up.

“Here.” He hands you the damp one first, allowing you to wipe what you can reach while he grabs undergarments. He tosses your underwear onto the bed before quickly putting his boxers on. “You did so good baby.” He whispers as he takes the damp cloth from you, and cleaning off what was left. He tosses that one into the bathroom and reaches for the dry towel to wipe and dry you off further.

“I hope you had a great birthday, Jinnie.” You smile. He can hear the smile in your voice. You put on your panties and turn to him. “I love you so much.” You grab his face and plant a kiss on his lips. He can’t help but chuckle.

“I love you even more, sweetheart!” He tackles you into the bed where you cuddle and watch tv for the rest of the night. Though, not long after resuming a show you began the other day, he can hear and feel you lightly snoring from your place on his chest. He turns the tv off and rests on his phone for the meantime, until he hears you mumbling in your sleep. Only then, when it’s just him and his thoughts left to admire you at your most vulnerable state, does he remember something.

A sincere, gummy smile appears at the thought of a beautiful velvet box sitting at the back of the linen closet.

AHHHH tell me why hyunjin has been plaguing my mind lately!!! he’s such a loverboy. I hope you enjoyed this one!!! <3

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HYUNE! 💕

-✖️

A LATE BDAY DRABBLE FROM MISS X ANON FOR OUR LOVERBOY SO YAMMY

[put-me-on-a-hitlist]

So I’m writing a fic based on my MHA DR and I’m currently rereading over what I already have. Now I have the urge to share some of the moments I find the funniest. So here’s my DR as a compilation of what feels like incorrect quotes but aren’t. (My DR name is Taiyō btw)

“No… it’s fine. Where's the big nose guy?”

The lady's eyebrows shot up in shock. “Y-You mean Redestro?”

“I don’t know his name. Just the dude I was fighting earlier.” Taiyō shrugged, making punching motions with his hands. He probably looked like an idiot but he didn’t really care. “And Dabs, where’s he?”

(I then proceed to call redestro “big nose guy” or “nose guy” or “old boss nose guy” or “nose” a thousand more times)

“Sorry about her. She’s a little bloodthirsty.”

“No way, really?”

He gave him a passive aggressive grin. “Can you let me talk?”

Moshonora scoffed like he asked him to join villainy. “Why would I listen to a guy who sounds like he guzzles sand for breakfast?”

Ouch.

“You sound like you choke on men for breakfast.”

“None of them ever talk back though~…” Taiyō could definitely get along with this guy. “You wanna be number 1,247?”

God if only Dabi was here, he’d be laughing his ass off.

“I mean-“

“Hate to break it to you, but breaking into someone’s house won’t typically win you friends. They’ll win you rides in the back of police cars.”

Taiyō hummed. “Yeah, I know. But you seemed like you’d be chill with it.”

“You thought I’d be chill with you coming into my house uninvited while I slept?” He questioned snarkily as he poured himself cereal.

He only smiled. “Only if I brought food.”

All conversation abruptly came to a stop when a knock sounded through the room. Taiyō barely had time to open his mouth before it was shoved open and Skeptic swept his way in. He audibly groaned and leaned against Keigo. “What do you want?”

The dirty look he got did little to subside his irritation. He could care less if he seemed like a basic moody teenager. Skeptic was just a dick about everything. “I’m here to discuss the meeting tomorrow.”

He sighed and sat up, taking the packet he was shoving practically in his face. He flipped through a couple pages before turning back to him. “There is no way in hell I’m reading all of this.” He deadpanned, handing it back.

“Why not?” Skeptic barked, looking way more astonished than he should have.

“Other than just trying to make your life more difficult, which is reason enough, there's the fact I’m dyslexic.” Taiyō countered. “That’s hell in paper format.”

There’s definitely more but most of them need context to be funny and we would be here for years if I tried to explain. I also have a crapload of other funny moments I don’t have written yet so I could also do a compilation of those if anyone wants :3