#hint: it's the *misogyny* and it's not actually interesting at all

[musical-chick-13]

SOOOOO interesting to me how a (white) male character being fucked-up is automatically equated to him having depth and complexity, while a female character being fucked-up causes people to automatically assume she cannot possibly have those things.

[10000-paper-nohara-rins]

-_-

[sunflowersteves]

another day, another dollar || b.b.

pairing || bradley “rooster” bradshaw x reader

summary || Is Rooster jealous that some random aviator won't stop looking at you? Definitely not.

author’s note || i'm so glad you guys enjoyed my last rooster fic!! i have so many ideas for rooster and i hope you guys enjoy this one! <3

warnings || jealousy, misogyny (not from rooster), fem!reader, some mention of violence, smut, oral sex, blowjob, praise kink, a little sub!bradley, [18+ only]

“Getting pretty busy, huh?” 

You turned your head around to the unfamiliar voice. You almost raised an eyebrow—he looked smug. “Yep.” You replied, short and sweet. 

You gave him a strained smile in hopes to keep up some customer service facade. You whirled back around to continue to pull the tap and fill up more beers.

He decided to talk to you again. “Think you can handle all this by yourself?”

At the Hard Deck on a buzzing Friday night, you were the only one tending to the bar. Ever since dusk peaked at seven-thirty in the evening, you had been busy refilling beers and taking orders—then occasionally ringing the bell when someone couldn’t pay their tab. 

Penny asked you for a favor when Amelia came home from school with a really bad case of the flu. You knew she felt bad enough leaving you alone on the busiest night of the weekend, but you didn’t mind. Not one bit. You had wished Amelia a speedy recovery. 

You were doing pretty well from the rush of Navy officers, lieutenants, captains, and everywhere in between asking for ales and lagers.

It had actually been somewhat fun chatting up conversations with people. Out of nowhere, though, this lanky twenty-something man stationed himself right in the front of the bar.

He had been staring at you for more than five minutes, and when you paid him no mind—since you were quite frankly busy with customers—he decided to strike up a mundane conversation. It was almost nauseating. 

When you had turned your head the first time, he had his elbow resting on the bar and twirled a pint of beer in his hand. He had a fresh face and flirty twinkling eyes that almost made you gag a little. You knew exactly what he was doing, and you weren’t interested. 

You could tell he was a Naval Aviator with the whole khaki color suit and hat on his head. You could also tell that by the looks of it that he’s new.

You didn’t spin back around, though, when he asked you that question. You didn’t want to give him any attention—hopefully, he will get the goddamn hint. 

“Think you can handle all this by yourself?” Gross. 

“I’ve been doing this for a while. I think I can handle it just fine.” You then turn to Coyote with the four beers he asked for—a genuine smile on your face. He thanked you kindly before sauntering back off to your group of friends by the pool table. 

“Really? I’ve never seen you in here before.” He locked eyes with yours before trailing down your figure and admiring the curves of your hips in tight jeans—a shudder of disgust ran through your body. “I would’ve remembered someone like you.”

Yeah, he was definitely new because if he saw the six-foot-four Top Gun aviator—the top one percent of fighter pilots in the world—that was glaring daggers into him, he would have shit his pants on the spot. You were sure he would never set foot in the Hard Deck again. 

You were Bradley’s, and Bradley was yours. Everyone in the vicinity of the bar knew that. You were always perched on his lap while he spread his skilled fingers across the piano. His arms were always wrapped around your waist as you destroyed Hangman in darts. You two practically couldn’t get your hands off of each other every second of the day. 

No one in their right mind would disturb the pure, raw love between the two of you.

Not tonight, though. Tonight, you were forced under the confinements of the bar area, giving this newbie the perfect opportunity to try and stake his claim.

“Maybe you’re the forgetful one, kid. I’m here every weekend.” You fought the urge to smile in victory when he gave an annoyed expression as the word kid left your mouth.

═ ∘◦❦◦∘ ═

“You gonna do something, Rooster?”

His eyes never left your cute irritated face. He watched you give the guy a one-worded answer with a mundane expression. As much as he wanted to give you the kiss of a lifetime, he stood back. “No.”

With Bradley’s answer, Jake was even more amused. “No? I’m surprised. I’d figure by now you’d be trailing over to her like some lost little puppy.”

Bradley bit his cheek to keep from snapping back. He knew that Jake was just giving him shit. He knew that he was just trying to get him all riled up.

It’s what Jake does. But he couldn’t let anything get to him, or he would trail over to you like some lost puppy. Hangman was undoubtedly and stupidly right. 

Jake’s eyebrows raise in surprise at the brooding silence. He expected some little quip and then a smack upside the head from Phoenix right next to him.

Damn, this must be really grinding Bradley’s gears. Jake almost felt guilty for his friend sulking in the corner of the Hard Deck.

“Don’t let Bagman get to you, Rooster. He’s just jealous that your girlfriend rejected him first.”

Phoenix grinned with a teasing smile, and Jake just grumbled to himself. At that, Bradley snorted and shook his head. He was still silent, but his demeanor had at least changed. All of the pilots smiled at Rooster’s shoulders relaxing just a smidge. 

Bradley hated feeling jealous—the angry green monster that sprouted in his chest and sat home in his head was relentless in its hold on him.

His heart always throbbed in his chest, and anger bubbled through his veins when some guy or girl gave you a bashing smile and feather-light touches to your shoulder.

He always stayed silent—brooding—as he watched you from afar. He never wanted you to feel like he didn’t trust you because he did. Oh, he did. He trusts you more than anyone else in the room, and he flies life or death with some of them. He would follow you to the ends of the earth if you had asked him to.

He figured it is most likely some unresolved tension from the tragedies that have struck during his thirty-five years of life, and anyone that wanted to take you away from him burned a hole in his chest.

So, to combat these ingrained feelings, he sat idly by as that guy’s hips were attached to the bar and watched you dodge every single flirtatious glance and awkward pick-up line. He knew you could handle yourself, and there was a whole gaggle of naval aviators that would stop at nothing to make sure you were doing okay. 

“Need another beer?” A peace offering. Jake was already standing up from the bar stool and about to make his way over to you.

He nodded solemnly. “Thanks, Bagman.”

═ ∘◦❦◦∘ ═

You looked bored. You looked so absolutely uninterested in this guy still speaking to you, and now, he was over-explaining how F-18 engines work and fly. You were a mechanical engineer. You knew how plane engines work. 

You tried to tell him you did, but he was quick to interrupt to continue telling you about how F-18s have more than one-hundred thousand horsepower.

If you didn’t respect Penny’s establishment and reputation, he would’ve been thrown out of the bar by now. Typical men with their typical egos. Though now that you think about it, you’re sure Penny would have encouraged it. 

Your eyes locked with Jake’s, and your eyes lit up at the familiar face. Finally, someone you actually enjoy talking to. Not that you would ever tell Jake that. 

“Need savin’ over here, hot shot?” Jake had interrupted the aviator and ignored the very irritated look that was sent his way. It was almost like the guy was insinuating that he had caught you—that you were going to be his tonight. The feeling of possession he exuded made you want to gag again. 

Jake could tell you wanted this shift to be over as soon as possible. Your eyes glanced at the random man staring at you before turning your attention back onto Hangman. “Nothing I can’t handle. How many beers?” 

“Two, please.” Jake smiled—cocky little shit. “I think you should go talk to your boyfriend over there. He’s been stewin’ for quite a while.” He paused, eyes sliding over to the stranger. “I could even help ya with the bar.”

You turn around to fill up the empty glasses that he handed to you. “Don’t I know it, Bagman.” It was like the aviator that had been hitting on you all night had disappeared—though, you wish. Just you making drinks while your friends entertained you. It was nice for a moment, actually. “I’m due for a break soon enough.” 

Jake spoke too soon, though, because Bradley was already making his way over to the bar. He couldn’t help himself when he saw the guy stare straight at your ass and bite his lip. The action made his blood seethe with vexation, so his feet started walking before his brain caught up.

“Boyfriend?” The guy looks shocked. His eyes were wide as he stared at you. “What the fuck? I’ve been trying all night, and you didn’t say a fucking thing?”

You pursed your lips. Irritated. “I did.”

“Huh?”

Rooster stood tall near the bar, watching the scene before him. He studied the menacing glare you struck at the guy and a hand resting on your hip.

“I told you multiple times when you were talking about damn plane engines that I have a boyfriend—who’s a naval aviator by the way. I’ve made it crystal clear.”

He didn’t miss a beat. The stranger’s eyebrows were furrowed in rage. He stood up from the bar in an irate stance. “You’re a fucking bitch. Do you go around eye-fucking all the guy's then?” His eyes move over to Jake’s.

“You allow your slut to do this, man?”

You, Jake, and Bradley all froze. The whole bar dulls out into silence from his loud gestures, and all eyes are on you four now. 

The audacity of this kid to insult and degrade you when all you were doing was listening to this guy talk and talk. You gave clear signs of being uninterested. Clear. Not to mention he also had the sheer audacity to make a scene in Jake and Bradley’s presence.

“The fuck did you just say?” You were almost in his face as you leaned over the bar—a hard glare set on him with your fueled anger. The grip you had on the bar counter was starting to ache, but you didn’t care. 

“Tame your fucking girl, would you?” Jake’s hands clenched by his side at the comment.

Bradley’s chest heaved up and down, and he could feel the burning emotion consume his entire body and soul. His hands were almost trembling by his side as his thoughts of tearing this asshole to shreds simmered inside his head. 

The guy scoffed. He tried to turn around to leave but was met with Bradley’s hard chest. Clearly, he had no idea what was coming.

Bradley was sweet—a kind, gentle soul. He has picked you up from your lowest and drew you back up. He has told you things about himself that not even he understands. Bradley Bradshaw was a good man—one of the best, you would even argue. 

However, he had a temper. Call it the jet fuel that was practically injected into his veins, but when that temper was pushed to the brim because someone fucked with you? Yeah, they should hope to be six feet under before Bradley could get to them. 

Bradley towered over him, almost making the guy tower down. He was seeing red—fully unsaturated rage at the disrespect toward you. The guy tried to regain some confidence, oddly enough. “Move out of my way.”

Bradley didn’t move—he didn’t even blink. His jaw clenched and unclenched. His eyes bore into the stranger to assess him. His hand twitched at his side as if it was gearing up to make a move. 

“Apologize. Now.” His voice was deep—it was gruff and hollow that immediately went straight to your chest. He didn’t look like the Bradley you knew, the Bradley that would carry you for three miles from a sprained ankle.

This Bradley looked menacing. This Bradley looked deadly. And you weren’t going to lie, it was hot as fuck. 

“Who the fuck are you?”

Bradley’s eyes flashed with something you were unfamiliar with. He has been jealous before, yes, but it has mostly been the reassuring kind. This was pure seething rage. His eyes were almost red from the amount of anger that pulsated through his body. 

“Apologize.” Bradley breathes out, but his eyes are digging into the man in front of him. “Or I will rip your fucking kneecaps off.”

Jake stood tall—back stretched out as he watched the interaction. He would spot for Bradley any day, especially to assholes like this random guy. He wanted to be ready for anything that could come Bradley’s way. 

The guy opened his mouth but quickly snapped it shut as Bradley took a step closer if it was even possible. He almost dared him too—almost wanted him to so Bradley could get in some punches that this guy deserved. 

“I-I-I’m sorry.” The guy tried to take a step back but was met with the bar counter. “I didn’t mean—”

“Not me.” Rooster pointed directly at you. “Her.”

He spins around faster toward you than you had seen a person spin in your life. “I-I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

He looks up to your boyfriend for approval, but Bradley’s eyes locked with yours. You nodded as a signal to your boyfriend that you were okay—things were okay. All you wanted was for this guy to leave and Bradley to be by your side again. It’s all you could think about.

Bradley’s eyes retreated back to the stranger, and you could have sworn that the guy almost flinched. “If I ever see you in here again, I will not hesitate. Do you understand?”

The aviator nods vigorously and tries to ignore the deadly glare from Bradley. His hands picked at his sides in nervousness. “Do you understand?” Bradley repeats.

The aviator’s eyes widened. “Y-Yes. I understand.” 

Bradley’s posture somewhat succeeds back into a relaxed form, his eyes already returning back to you in comfort and warmth. Every tipsy person located in the bar had shouted in celebration for kicking out the guy that ruined all the fun. Coyote and Fanboy unkindly escorted him out of the bar and threw him out onto the sandy beach. “Don’t fucking come here again.”

In the bar, everything and everyone had gone back to normal. People started laughing and smiling once more—shoveling more drinks into their mouths. Some even started racking the balls on the pool table and throwing darts.

For you, though, you couldn’t take your eyes off of Bradley. 

He was on you in less than a second, taking two full strides around the bar in desperation. His hands gripped your hips harshly and his lips collided against your own. Your back bumps into the bar, which causes the bottles of booze to rattle against the glass. 

His tongue is shoved into your mouth, and he groans deeply at the taste of beer. His nose harshly bumps against your cheek—messy and harsh with every swallow and molding of your mouth.

You almost whined into him. “Bradley.” Your breath fanned up against his cheeks, and his knees felt so fucking weak for you.

His body starts to sloppily drag you away from the bar and into the back corner of the Hard Deck. His lips never once left yours in a fury to feel you—to be inside of you at any and all cost. His hands make their way down the back of your thighs, and you instinctively jump. Your legs wrap around his torso as he continues to walk backward.

Jake rolled his eyes. “Yeah, sure. Go fuck like bunnies. I’ll man the bar, I guess.” But there was a hint of a small smile on his face. Finally, you two could cut the shit and fawn over each other once again. 

═ ∘◦❦◦∘ ═

Bradley pulls you into the supply closet near the break room at the back of the bar. His back hits one of the shelves, and you could hear the sound of cleaning bottles falling onto the floor. 

Neither of you could stop your fluttering hands that followed each other’s curves. Bradley’s lips trailed down your jaw and neck, which left you breathless and aching for more. Your body feels hot—and elated—from his calloused fingers digging into the flesh on your stomach.

“Bradley, please.” He thinks he knows what you are begging for. He wants to taste you on his tongue. He wants you creaming into his mouth until you’re so dumb that you don’t even remember your own name. 

To his chagrin, though, you stop the trailing hand that is trying to make its way between your thighs. “I wanna taste you, Bradley. I wanna swallow your cum.”

His eyes widened. “Fuckin’ hell—” Bradley breathes out, fast and light. He watches you sink down onto your knees and clumsily drag his shorts to pool around his ankles.

You weren’t very graceful from your pure desperation to have his cock in your mouth. Bradley didn’t mind, though. 

His cock jumped from the sight and thought of you in such a state of yearning. “Pretty baby.” He whispered, but it sounded more like a whine. 

Your lips trailed kisses around his thighs. “Do you know how hot it was to see you almost lose your shit on that guy?” Your words slurred together from the intoxication of his broad muscles and lips that were sucked in between his teeth.

You pull down his boxers and almost drool from his ruddy tip dripping in pre-cum. You lightly graze your fingers across his shaft and your mouth waters from his shaft twitching. Your eyes flickered up to see his reaction, his hooded eyes watching you pump his cock.

“You had been watchin’ me all night, Roo. I could feel it.”

He licked his lips. “He-He—” He moans your name. “F-Fuck. He-He can’t take you. I–” God, you’re so hot from your lust-filled eyes racking over his hopelessly hard cock. He withers in your grasp, and he couldn't help but say your name over again. 

“Oh, Roo, no. He can’t take me, hmm?” You hum out the last part of the sentence so your mouth can gravitate to the bulging vein on the side of his cock. “I’m fucking yours, Roo. I’m yours.”

You swirl your tongue and suck your lips around his tip. His hands latch themselves into your hair, and he tugs and tugs. How is he already so close to the edge?

You’re barely touching him, but he feels like he’s on cloud nine, and the knot in his stomach twists and pulls.

“F-Fuck, pretty baby, yeah. You’re mine. You’re mine.” He repeats the saying as his hips involuntarily hump your mouth. You gag around him and his cock shoves further deep into your throat.

You want to guide him to a sweet release for being such a good partner to you. He is yours. He is your Bradley. 

“Oh, fuck–fuck baby, please. My fuckin’ girl—yeah, yeah, yeah.”

He lowly groans out—deep, guttural, and sultry—while his cum paints the inside of your mouth. Thick ropes shoot into your mouth, and the salty taste made you salivate even more. Your eyes watch his hung-open jaw and his eyes trailing down to watch you suck around his cock. 

You swallow all that he has to offer, and you moan out his name while still stuffed with his cock. His eyes widened slightly at the action, and his heart swirled in his chest. How did he get so lucky with you?

You go to stand up and pull his pants back up, but he catches your hands.

“Oh, pretty baby, you aren’t leaving me so soon, are you?” His palm rests below the back of your neck and pulls you into him. His breath fans up against your cheeks, and he presses sweet kisses on your jaw, working his way up to your temple. 

“Roo, if you don’t fuck me right this minute—”

He chuckled. “Don’t worry, pretty baby, we’re jus’ getting started.”

[miasmultifandomdump]

It annoys me how so much of modern discourse around female characters is, to be frank, misogyny repackaged as being progressive.

If a woman's strengths and interests are associated with being feminine, such as cooking or enjoying nice clothes or being kind and compassionate, the entire fandom jumps on her as stereotypical or weak. It's seen as cool to bash on "women's work", never mind that your average misogynist has been doing it for decades, hell, centuries, and the jobs that are mocked as women's work are actually pretty essential to humans surviving and thriving.

And then, of course, if a woman shows the slightest hint of nonconformity, the entire fandom jumps on her because "oh!! she's trying to be not like other girls!! she wants male attention so bad!!" It doesn't matter how she is to the other girls in her life, if she wears combat boots and listens to punk instead of Taylor Swift, she clearly hates every other woman ever according to certain parts of fandom. It couldn't be that she's neurodivergent or LGBT or hell, even just a tomboy, she has to hate every other girl on the planet. /sarcasm

AND JUST TO CLARIFY. These tropes can genuinely be negatively done. The traditionally feminine girl can be a weak character and the tomboy girl can be an ass. But when you're calling a girl a "pick me" just because she doesn't live up to your idea of what a woman should look like or what you think feminism is... congratulations. You've simply repackaged sexism and called it woke. And lots of girls who see this crap online are going to suffer for it but hey, it was never actually about them, so who cares, right? /sarcasm

Anyway, to all the girls reading this post, you go ahead and be who you want. Be a princess or a president or a pop singer or a punk rocker or hell, all of the above. You're not a "pick me" you're not a "handmaiden" you're not trying too hard to be "not like other girls". You are fine. Don't let pseudo-woke nonsense get to you. It's just white noise.

[silantryoo]

BONUS [ LIKEALOOK ] — normal girl.

l/n y/n, first year high school.

WARNINGS ; misogyny, classism, multiple one-sided relationships, mentions of death threats, mentions of toxic fandoms, hints of imposter syndrome, sexual innuendos, sexualization, objectification, incel behaviour, slut shaming (5.4k)

l/n y/n was born a pretty baby.

her family members - cousins, aunties, uncles, grandparents - gathered around her medical crib hours after she was born, basking in her beauty.

to the l/n's, y/n was a sight to behold. her small smile and her soft cooing ignited a fire within them, one that urged them to pamper the newborn with as much love they could muster.

it was safe to say that y/n was always surrounded with love, a plethora of it.

there wasn't a single time in her childhood that she didn't feel love.

y/n loved her parents, just as much, if not more, than they love her.

they did everything that they could to make her happy and healthy, enrolling her in whatever she wanted at the time. whether that be her attending hanlim (which they could barely afford) or a simple latte at the nearest café, the l/n's first priority was their daughter.

y/n knew that she wasn't as well off as the other kids in her school. her parents were decently well off but not enough to put them in the upper tax bracket that many of seoul seemed to be in, or at least pretended to. she had nice clothes, not designer, but just enough to not be bullied by her peers. her house was a fair bit away from the more booming areas of the city; a cozy, two bedroom house an hour away from gangnam.

she was content, making sure to never take her things for granted, always making sure her clothes were neat, her shoes were clean, and helping out with the chores as much as she could.

y/n didn't need much. she didn't want much, actually. as long as her parents were there with her, she was happy.

y/n just wanted to be happy.

she knew she was pretty.

being pampered all her life does a few things to her ego, but even then, it was only her family members telling her. there was only so much you hear from your family until it started sounding like each compliment was because you were family. y/n had a slight ego, sure, but didn't have a big head. she knew she didn't hold the attention of the general public that her parents were so sure she held.

at least, she didn't think so.

"i've liked you for so long!"

y/n stared at the note in his hands, the upperclassman's hands trembling. she couldn't understand why he was so nervous. they had hung out a few times beforehand, surely he wasn't actually in love with her.

y/n was only thirteen, and this guy - han hyeongjun - had spoken to her less than ten times her entire life.

as his hands continued to shake, y/n gently pushed his arms down, giving a soft smile.

he was in no means ugly. a lot of girls would die for a chance with him, both older and younger that y/n herself. hyeongjun was nice, even funny at times when y/n had spoken to him.

y/n simply didn't know him enough, and currently, her priorities weren't dating.

"i'm sorry..." y/n watched as his face fell apart, hyeongjun's eyes wide with hurt and shock. "i'm not looking for a boyfriend right now."

"i'll wait!" his voice tore through her eardrums, a desperateness lying underneath his shaky breath. hyeongjun swallowed back what seemed to be tears. "please... give me a chance."

y/n frowned. was she hurting someone? she never wanted to hurt anyone.

"hyeongjun-oppa, i'm really not interested." she could feel herself wavering, her guilt slowly starting to outweigh her stance. "i'm sorry..."

hyeongjun crumpled the love letter in his hand, tears streaming down his face. he would never want to force the girl he liked into a relationship with him, even though he so desperately wanted to, even though it tore through him like a pain his fourteen year old self could barely comprehend.

"i understand." his tears poured violently, hyeongjun's head pounding from holding back sobs. "i just... really like you."

y/n knew she was pretty, but she didn't think she was pretty enough to cause someone pain, especially someone she barely met.

"i'm sor-"

he left without a word, bumping into the younger girl's shoulder, his face tear-stained and etched with pain.

why did it hurt y/n too?

it was a one off thing, y/n decided.

han hyeongjun was a sweet, soft hearted boy. it was most likely a crush that he had, and not the emotions he claimed them to be. even if it was, there was no way it could actually happen again.

especially not in hanlim, where idols and future actors wandered the halls, all wearing some kind of designer shoes and expensive makeup.

here, y/n was just another face, just like she always was, despite her parents' preaching.

"what's your name?"

y/n's head shot up, her eyes wide. the girl that stood before her was tall and pretty, her loafers polished as if it was spit shined. her hair was dark, her skin pale in comparison, and y/n could see the faint twinkling of her necklace.

she suddenly felt so out of place.

"me?"

"yeah, you." the girl sat beside her, a scoff threatening to escape from her pink stained lips. "i don't think i've seen you before. what's your last name?"

it was an odd question to ask, at least for y/n. she knew last names held a significance, but only the adults in her life bothered to ask, never people her age.

the girl's eyes bore into hers, as if anticipating her question, ready to jump at the chance to compare herself with y/n.

"it's l/n."

"l/n?" she rested her chin on her palm, gazing at the girl with a predatory gaze. y/n couldn't place what it was, but it felt familiar enough to make her feel uncomfortable. "i don't think i know any l/n's. are you from gangnam? seocho?"

y/n could feel her eyes bug out. gangnam? seocho? there was no way her parents could ever afford an apartment, much less rent in those areas.

"uh, no." y/n didn't know why, but she felt so cold all of a sudden. "i live in nowon."

the girl sat up, her interest piqued. there was something about her eyes that shifted.

"oh." she twirled her blonde hair (probably an idol trainee, y/n thought) in between her fingers, eyeing y/n with a curiosity that seemed less than innocent. "i see..."

she could feel her intentions, how her puppy-like eyes held more than innocence. y/n felt like a zoo animal, being observed from a close distance, and this girl, although outwardly sweet, had ravenous intentions.

the girl smiled kindly, throwing y/n off guard. "what do your parents do for a living?"

y/n blinked. maybe she was wrong.

"um..." y/n's parents made a good amount, more than the rest of her relatives. even her high school friends said that she was rich, at least in comparison to them. "my dad's an electrician and my mom's a factory worker."

there was a pause in the air, heavy and suffocating. y/n was sure she said something wrong, but she wasn't sure.

"well..." the girl leaned back, deciding not to attack the poor girl in front of her (for now), and y/n sighed a breath of fresh air. "at least you're pretty."

"oh." y/n was pretty sure it wasn't a complement, but she'd take what she can get, especially since she was the black sheep in a class full of freshly groomed ones. "thank you..."

the girl smiled, resting her hand on her chin, her long, expensive looking acrylic nails slightly digging into her cheek. y/n glances her nails, dull and plain.

"my name's shim hyewon, daughter of shim sin. y'know, the politician?"

"oh." y/n had no idea about the world of politics, much less their names. all she knew was that the girl in front of her must've been rich. "i'm l/n y/n..."

just l/n y/n.

shim hyewon led a life that y/n hadn't been used to.

her parents were busy people, working as much as they could to provide for y/n, and she couldn't be more grateful for them. she rarely saw them in the mornings, her dad having an early start to his day, and her mom usually coming home an hour after she already left for school.

her commute wasn't bad, longer than it was during high school, but that was a given. her place horribly far from hanlim. her ten minute walked turned into an hour commute (give or take a couple minutes it takes to actually walk to the station).

it was a pain, honestly, but this was what she wished for. y/n wasn't gonna let an inconvenience like this get in the way of dreams, not when her parents poured blood, sweat and tears into it.

still, y/n couldn't help but envy hyewon.

the girl had been nice to her these past couple months, and though y/n felt uncomfortable with her constant classist remarks, hyewon was sweet.

she'd wait for y/n at the entrance of the school, scrolling through the latest model of her phone (the case differing week to week, sometimes day to day), barely fatigued from the twenty minute drive with her chauffer.

she shouldn't feel jealous at the wealth, y/n was already rich with the love and support from her parents. she genuinely couldn't ask for more, but perhaps if she had just a little bit of that money...

"took you long enough."

y/n fiddled with her black blazer, shifting around. hyewon's eyes dropped to her legs for a brief moment, and once again, y/n felt like a prize to be won.

she didn't dwell on it longer, as hyewon's face shifted into an expression y/n was used to; amusement.

y/n cleared her throat, rubbing her knuckles. at times, standing face to face with her friend felt more like a job interview than two peers talking about class.

"how long were you waiting for?"

"five minutes." hyewon shrugged, standing up from her leaning position. "i thought you weren't gonna show today."

y/n woke up late, too busy studying for their history exam to sleep. she needed high grades, and there was no time to study, especially since she managed to book some auditions a week before the test.

luckily, she caught the train, but the trek up on the way to school was slower due to her drowsiness.

"i always show up to class."

the two began to walk to class, finally entering school grounds. y/n could already feel eyes on them, more specifically on her.

it was a common occurrence after her first month in school, and she found a lot of the students (mostly boys, but a girl here and there) stealing glances, some of which even handing her confession letters.

maybe they weren't used to people like her walking around, someone who was slightly less well off, and not acclimated to their tightknit social circles.

it didn't make her feel any better though.

"you shouldn't." hyewon sighed, taking in the shorter girl's side profile. "this place is boring."

hanlim wasn't boring, not to y/n. school was school, and although it was tough and monotonous, she was on the path of doing something she loved.

y/n loved the spotlight like it loved her, but sometimes, she wished that people saw her less like a trophy and more like a human being.

hyewon glanced at her as they entered the building, her eyes raking over her with an untold emotion.

she was never a patient person, and her father always scolded her for it. perhaps now was a good time to practice it. hyewon could already tell that y/n was going to be tough to crack.

reaching the room, y/n could feel the cold air on her sweat soaked back, and she couldn't wait to finally sit down. the train was packed earlier, and y/n's legs ached from standing up the entire ride. she needed a breather, sooner than later.

"hey."

oh.

"ew." hyewon scrunched up her nose before playing innocent. she looked up at the older guy, smiling with her teeth. "oops! sorry, sunbaenim. it slipped out before i realized."

jay chang.

two years y/n's senior, and son of some popular american singer that y/n couldn't remember the name of. all she knew was that girls quite literally fell for him with a simple smile, and that jay was nothing but persistant.

"it's a good thing i wasn't talking to you, then." his smile was charming, and y/n was nearly fooled by it the first time they spoke. "you look nice today, y/n."

she nodded slightly, not wanting to give him too much. "thank you, sunbaenim."

"still a no?"

hyewon rolled her eyes. "kinda obvious, don't you think?"

"what?" he smirked, dusting his shoulder. "eventually, she'll need someone like me to take care of her."

y/n didn't think she'd ever need anyone, especially someone as big headed as jay chang.

what she needed was her desk, and her seat cushion... and a cold glass of water.

"i can take care of her just fine."

"whatever." jay frowned. hyewon always seemed to get what she wanted, despite probably being the youngest in the school. everyone treated her like royalty, and it pissed him off, knowing how she truly was deep down. "besides, y/n can't expect me to hold back when she looks like that everyday."

she was no better than him.

"that's all for me, i'm guessing?"

y/n felt a firm grip around her midsection, hyewon's arm anchoring her body against hers. it felt as if she was being claimed in broad daylight, and y/n did everything in her power to push down the discomfort threatening to make itself known.

"yeah." hyewon looked up at jay. "we're leaving."

"it's just a joke!" jay put his hands up, smiling as if he did nothing wrong. "unless you wanna make it a reality, y/n-ah."

y/n shook her head, the unsettling feeling getting worse as jay continued to hover over them.

"c'mon, don't be like that." he teased softly, a hint of frustration underneath. "at the very least, go on a date with your oppa."

hyewon pushed him aside, slamming the classroom door in his face. everyday, it was the same thing; the boy showing up in front of the classroom, loud and annoying, only there to harass y/n.

it was funny, honestly, and hyewon didn't mind that it helped y/n get closer to her.

"you okay, y/n?"

"yeah." y/n pulled away from her, hyewon's arms falling from her side. the younger girl clenched her jaw. "are all the guys here like that?"

"no." she hummed as the two made their way to the lockers. hyewon glanced at y/n once more. "almost everyone here is like that."

y/n couldn't get the icky feeling off her.

she felt an item for auction.

"it makes me feel gross." y/n confided softly, the feeling never leaving her, even when it was just her and her friend talking.

hyewon paused, and y/n felt the air shift into a thick cloud, filled with something similar to smugness.

"do i make you feel gross, y/n?"

she didn't want to upset her only friend.

"no."

but that was the exact answer hyewon was looking for.

"good."

the seasons passed, and so did y/n history exam.

getting her score back wasn't the nerve wracking part.

her grades were what she expected, and although it wasn't enough to be the top of her class (because y/n wasn't gonna slave over a one hundred and go to night school and cram school), she was satisfied.

it was the auditions she was worried about, her very first (and if it went wrong, her very last). she had managed to get a callback a week ago, and like before, it all went smoothly.

until she got to the HYBE building, of course.

"mom?" y/n's feet hit the cold floor, the air conditioning blasting. both her parents must've been home. "dad?"

she wandered into the kitchen, some dishes piled up, and the table freshly wiped. on the stove was a pot of kimchi stew, her mom's favorite meal and her dad's go-to dish.

she trudged to the living room, excited at the signs of her parents finally being home. y/n knew it wasn't normal for a fifteen year old to want to hang out with her parents, but she didn't care.

y/n loved her parents.

she heard the tv and walked faster, stopping as she stood in front of her parents' view, laptop in hand.

"need something, baby?" her mom, l/n eunji, pulled away from her dad's arms, causing him to pout slightly. he was always so clingy. it was cute. "come here."

y/n raced to sit in between them, rushing to open her email.

"can i tell you something?"

"what is it?" her dad, l/n junsang, leaned over her shoulder, snooping like he usually did. "you have a boyfriend? girlfriend?"

y/n glanced at junsang, shaking her head at his over enthusiasm to her getting a girlfriend or boyfriend (which she knew deep down he detested the though of).

"what?" he shrugged. "when i was your age, girls were throwing themselves at me. boys, too."

eunji rolled her eyes. her husband never changed. "girls were running away from you, actually."

y/n, not minding their usual antics, sifted through her open tabs, closing at least eight of them (for her paper due next month).

"but you ran towards me." junsang scrunched his nose, the mole dead center wrinkling along with his skin.

eunji shook her head. after twenty years together, she assumed her husband's ego would deflate just a tad bit. somehow, it worsened when y/n was born, their young daughter resembling him in both her smile and her beauty marks.

"you were the only one who caught my attention, though." he confessed like he always did, declaring his love on a random afternoon. "i could never say no to you and your pretty eyes."

y/n could gag, but it was nice to see her parents in love, even if it made her cringe.

"um..." she shifted the attention to her, hovering over the sketchy email she got. "are you guys done flirting?"

"sorry, baby." eunji looked at her daughter, her cat-like eyes gleaming. "what's up?"

"so..." the email in front of y/n made her heart beat out of her chest. "i had a callback, right?"

"yeah...?"

"i just got the email." y/n whispered. she knew it was her first audition, and there were much prettier and more talented girls that were at the audition, but she couldn't help but hope. "i was hoping to open it with you?"

junsang smiled. he was always so grateful that his daughter was open to sharing her achievements with him and his wife. being so involved in her life, regardless of its gravity, made him happy.

all he ever wanted, ever since he was young, was to watch his kid blossom.

the two older l/n's leaned closer, watching as their daughter opened the message.

y/n's eyes widened, reading the words over and over again, but she could only focus on one thing.

We look forward to working with you in the next coming weeks.

she got it? her first audition, and she got it?

y/n didn't know how to feel, a mix of gratitude and guilt coursing through her. it didn't seem fair to the others, the ones who strived for months, years.

"i knew it." junsang puffed out his chest. "no way can they deny our baby's pretty face."

her pretty face.

was that the only reason she got in? did they chose her for her face, just like everyone did in hanlim? her hardwork was glazed over, the spotlight on her features instead of her feats.

eunji flicked her husband's ear, her head lowering to meet her daughter's gaze.

"obviously, it's not just your face, y/n." her daughter was talented, and sometimes, she needed a reminder, just like everyone in her position would. "your dad and i know how talented you are. he just likes to say your face is pretty because people say you look like him."

"what?" junsang frowned. "am i not pretty?"

"junsang."

"you're very talented." he smiled, ruffling y/n's hair. "and smart too. all of which you got from m-"

"junsang."

"anyway," he waved his wife off, looking at his daughter. "you deserve it. you've worked so hard for it, and we're so proud of you. not only do we have a good daughter, but a talented one."

her parents were always her anchor, but sometimes she wished that she had the friend groups in the shows she had watched.

y/n wanted to belong both in her home and in society, where people saw passed her face.

"thank you." she whispered, earning a kiss on her temple from her mom. "i love you both."

"we love you too." eunji rubbed her back. "and don't listen to your dad about the boyfriend thing. i was the one that was getting hit on."

junsang paused, a frown suddenly on his face.

"you were?" his eyes landed on his wife, y/n deciding that now was a good time to hop off the couch and let her father and mother sort this one out. "wait, why didn't i know about this?"

eunji shrugged, standing up.

"i never told you."

eunji followed her daughter, not to her room, but to the end of the hall, her and her husband's door wide open.

"wait, what?" junsang heard y/n's door click shut, rushing to his feet to chase after his wife. "eunji, what?"

y/n met bts.

no, she worked with them, staring in multiple of their music videos, more than she expected to feature in (all at the cost of privating her social media accounts for a while. her success came with death threats, as expected).

it did wonders to her popularity in the industry, and she was amazed at how much more her peers both avoided and fawned over her. y/n always thought that it couldn't get much worse, but it did.

hyewon seemed to hover over her, watching as her locker was filled with threats from some of the older girls in hanlim. mixed into the pile were confessions, a few of which came from different schools. how they got in her locker, y/n would never know.

all she knew was that the attention was immense.

somehow, she avoided it today, waiting a couple minutes after the class president left to get cleaning supplies. there were a fair amount of students still in the class, but y/n knew they were all respectful enough to not but her.

she dusted herself off, walking outside the room and down the staircase. hyewon was somewhere nearby, either the roof where she usually sat (smelling like smoke) or in the girl's washroom close to the entrance.

"so..." jay? he never stayed after school, even if clubs were going on. "you can do a video with some older men but not go on a date with me?"

y/n's blood ran cold.

"sunbaenim." trying to not show her nerves, she lowered her head slightly, hoping that the sign of respect was enough for him to cool down.

it wasn't.

"do you like older men?" his arms crossed, his usually ironed blazer now wrinkling in his grip. "am i not old enough for you?"

y/n didn't like older men, she didn't even consider older anyone at all. she didn't wanna focus on that stuff, her sights on her dream university unwavering.

"i just don't want a boyfriend." her voice, soft and soothing, was strong with honesty.

"why not?" jay shot up, his dark eyes hard against y/n's features. "all girls want a boyfriend. you know i'll be good to you. i won't even force you to do anything."

y/n was sure his words meant to be reassuring, but it made her feel worse if anything, now knowing that jay saw her more like a toy than a human.

"i'm really not interested." she felt her voice go weaker, her legs frozen.

she wanted to leave, yet her legs stayed glued to the floor. there was a deep, unsettling feeling like her chest had been weighed down by something and she wasn't sure what.

"i don't believe you." the sinking feeling in y/n's chest was overwhelming. "don't tell me one of those bts oppas got to you first."

the staircase turned quiet, the soft whirling of the cooling units pushing through the vents. the green grass reflected the now setting sun through the window, birds chirping in the distance.

it should've been a beautiful day.

y/n felt a sense of shame she didn't understand. dirty and used, yet not even having her first kiss yet. she hadn't even held hands with anyone, yet somehow, everyone saw her as more.

she just wanted connection, love in both friendship and relationship.

jay was annoying, uncomfortable at times, but he wasn't cruel. she must've heard wrong. she had to have heard wrong.

y/n's voice came out in a soft squeak.

"i don't understand..."

she didn't, honestly.

she knew the industry came with it's consequences, but everything started even before then. it amplified, but it had always been like this in one way or another. she was always seen as something to get, something to possess, but never to connect with.

y/n was a want, but she was never a need.

"c'mon, y/n. quit playing dumb." jay was up to his wits end, and y/n could feel it in the air, a heavy smog filling her lungs. "there's another guy, isn't it?"

everyone assumed it was someone else, but it never was.

it was just her.

"are you playing hard to get or something?" his voice got louder, drowning out the birds and replacing it with a shroud of rage that concentrated around y/n. "you know how many girls would kill to have me tripping over them? and you're just here rejecting me over and over again?"

over the past few months, y/n learned to steel herself from the influx of confessions, always slightly in pain at the thought of breaking someone's heart.

it felt real, their 'love' for her.

but she knew this wasn't real, yet it hurt by the tenfold.

"it hurts, y'know." jay didn't seem hurt, and y/n was glad that his major was applied music and not broadcasting and entertainment. "you're not even giving me a chance. is it cause of the rumors you heard? are you that shallow? or are you just trying to hurt me?"

y/n didn't want to hurt anyone. she'd rather hurt herself.

"i didn't mean to-"

"but you did!" jay was fed up, nothing ever going his way. "do you like the attention or something? acting like a fucking tease all the time."

she could feel anger bursting through her chest, sick and tired of the names everyone threw her way. a thin veil frustration started to well up in her eyes, and behind, a seed of disappointment in others and in herself.

calming herself down, y/n spoke. "i don't understand why you keep calling me that."

"because you are!" jay whined, his eyebrows furrowing. y/n could basically see him stomping his foot. "you walk around with that face and expect me not to do anything."

a shiver ran through her spine.

"it's just my face..."

y/n didn't want to be seen as a trophy if it meant attracting attention like this.

did anyone even see her as human at this point?

"just shut up!" jay pushed his hair slick back, his voice echoing through the stairwell. "just fucking leave."

as if by his instructions, y/n's legs finally moved, her frame a blur as she rushed down to the main floor. she could feel her chest heaving, her eyes trained onto her feet. they carried her to the washroom, and she opened the door with a loud bang.

hyewon.

she was safe. her friend was here.

"woah," hyewon hummed, looking at y/n through the mirror. "you look crazy as fuck."

she felt crazy, her mind racing. she couldn't fathom how people saw her in that light, as if she was a medal incased in a collection of glory, plastered for the world to see.

"hyewon."

y/n rushed to her friend. she needed comfort, solace in the storm that happened mere minutes ago.

today should've been a good day.

"oh shit." hyewon pulled y/n in, her hands resting on her lower back. "hey... it's okay."

she could confide here, in between the porcelain walls, where she stood in the arms of someone she trusted. for once, she had someone to lean on, someone her age (or close to it) that listened.

y/n just wanted someone to listen.

"i don't understand why everyone thinks i want them or something." the emotions in her chest whirled with fervor, yet her voice was meek.

"i don't understand either." hyewon pull her closer, rubbing her back. "people here are fucked in the head."

y/n didn't want to believe that. she knew somewhere out there, there had to be people who were pure hearted, with pure intentions. somewhere, there were people who were just like her and her parents.

y/n wouldn't find them until after high school.

"i just wanted to make friends." she didn't mean to whine, but she was tired. "even the girls here think that i'm trying to do something. i can't even go near them without them thinking i'm trying to sabotage them."

hyewon pulled back slightly, looking at the shorter girl with vague intent. "i know you aren't, y/n."

"did i do something?" y/n was careful, never crossing the line of friendship (and most times, acquaintanceship) with anyone. she never wanted her words to be twisted, her actions perceived with an underlying meaning. "do i seem like the people they assume i am?"

she wanted to be seen for her, not for their ideals.

"no." hyewon brushed the tears off her cheek. "no, you're perfect."

"i just want people to understand." y/n was worried she'll never find anyone who cared enough about her. "i need someone to understand, or at least try. is that so much to ask for? for someone to actually care about me?"

"i know, baby." the taller girl whispered, y/n suddenly aware of how her breath hit her face. "i know."

y/n's first kiss happened on a beautiful day, in a porcelain school bathroom, the soft hum of the school's ac whirling through the vents, the sun setting through the windows.

(she always wished her first kiss happened with wonyoung, but wonyoung didn't need to know about this. y/n would rather die.)

she pulled back, bile threatening to release in her throat.

"i'm sorry"

"hey..." hyewon reached for her arm, and the predatory gaze was back. "it's okay."

it wasn't.

y/n rushed out, her legs carrying her as far from that school as they could. her lungs burned, her ears rang, and the humid air clung to her skin, refusing to release her.

sweat dripped down her back, tears poured from her eyes and betrayal suffocated her.

it hurt. everything hurt. the way jay's words stuck onto her like cheap perfume, and the actions of hyewon - of someone she knew she shouldn't have trusted - clawed into her.

she was battered, ripped to shreds, and never had she so desperately yearned for someone to hold her, to tell her that everything would be okay.

y/n wanted the comfort of a close friend, one she trusted with her gut. she wanted to hear the soothing words, the advice they'd give her. y/n longed for someone in her corner.

y/n just wanted to hear that it wasn't her fault.

(it wasn't, and it never was, and it never will be.)

(and two weeks later, y/n sported a new yellow blazer, assigned to a new seat and her commute lengthened to an extra thirty minutes.)

masterlist | next

taglist (CLOSED)!!

@moontealemonpie @rikisgeef @cutieseo @limbforalimb @ahnneyong @yumtooki @lcv3lies @sserajeans @jiwoneiric @blue4hour @trsrina @xyxlyn @misumiausworld @awkwardtoafault @d7dream @slowlyturninggay291 @perfectsunlight @juhyunsthirdwife @uzumakioden @txtbrainrot @rosiehrs @wlwgirlsworld @skisk1 @bzeus28 @deeznutzryu @jisooftme @jihyostolemyheart @li0ilthecxnt @eggomi @ddoxhan @zhivaxo @sweet-dhrafts @bearseulgs @marimo-anura @wonyoluvr @serenitygrace24 @ddeonutz @noiacha @livelaughchoerry @yunnybunnyy @ivy-aurora

[starstriix]

can we talk about just how effective jock would’ve been in pushing a jo character arc. It’s not just the fact that Brick acts as a good moral compass, but it’s also how he encompasses EVERYTHING jo tries to avoid (he’s open with his femininity, emotional, sensitive, clumsy etc) and jo…still likes and respects him??

Like, she views him as an equal to the point of overestimating him (you and I both know that mf was trying his hardest in the thumb wrestling scene and jo was all “oh he hardly tried!! what a gentleman!!☺️” GIRL YOU NEARLY BROKE HIS THUMB). You can tell she genuinely enjoys competing with Brick, and she’s never bored whenever they interact. She’s often the one to go up and talk to him, despite beating him time and time again. Jo views him as a worthy competitor even after witnessing him being the most embarrassing man alive (who the fuck tries to dislocate their hip to impress a girl) and pissing himself.

The point is, Jo clearly holds Brick in somewhat of a higher regard despite him showing weakness so often. And that’s important because Jo’s main driving force is not wanting to appear weak.

You can see little moments of her showing care or concern before immediately switching back to her cutthroat attitude. Caring is a “”weakness”” that prevents you from winning (demonstrated by Brick in episode 7). When Jo volunteers to have makeup put on her, she immediately covers it up with a facade of toughness and says she’s “only [doing it] for the good of the team” (Compare this to Brick’s “Yeah, you heard me.” after announcing his dream of going to fashion school). She’s definitely struggling with internalised misogyny and associating femininity with weakness, but that’s an essay for another day.

Brick shows so much “weakness” and yet she still somewhat respects and even cares for him more than the other contestants. And I find that SO interesting.

Especially because he's her rival??? Their relationship is the embodiment of competition. Overcompetitiveness (or toxic competitiveness) is one of Jo's most glaring flaws, so to have her actually care about the one she should be against the MOST? It's a really good way of showing her overcoming her own toxic competitiveness.

Also, the parallels between Jo basically kick-starting Brick's character arc about prioritising the wellbeing of others...and then having Brick be a focal point in a Jo arc about prioritising the wellbeing of others...chef's kiss

I'd also like to add a little detail in relation to Jo's contestant biography. Specifically on her weird dream about letting a guy win because she thought he was "attractive." Yes this was hinting at Brick idc it was way too specific and odd compared to the other dreams, and Brick is the only guy we know who constantly competed against her (and lost). And I'm definitely reading into this too much, but it's actually quite interesting how her subconscious attraction to the guy overpowered her very, VERY intense need to win. Guess that's why it was a weird dream, but it still makes me think about the potential of Jo sacrificing her win for someone she grew to care for. Also I want representation of masc women in relationships that aren’t just played off as a joke

I can go on about this all night (I wish I could) but yeah. I really wish they'd give Jo a proper character arc because she really deserved one. She deserves to be able to grow and develop because she's a great fucking character, and Brick was literally the key to all of that. Peace out

[nekropsii]

Small Atomic Ask Bomb!!

I've got a bunch of short asks that I'd hate to spam the dash with individually, so I'll just put 'em here, under the cut!!

Content Warning: Long, Brief Discussions of Racism, Misogyny, Grooming, Brief Mentions of Incest and Pedophilia in Fanfiction.

I've always been a hater, and I honestly don't really think it's a bad thing - not as much as everyone says, at least! I think being kind of a bitch about things that don't matter is good for you, actually. Gets the urge to be angry out in a way that's healthier than just snapping at people in critical moments. I also just think being strong and passionate in your convictions is good for you. Being a hater gives you a spine if you do it right, and it fires a gunshot and scatters people you don't really want to be around. It also has the funny side effect of people thinking I take things way more seriously than I do, just because I'm opinionated and will state said opinions clearly. Big fan of this meme:

This is me.

------

I used to peek in there every now and then, just to be nosy. Incest at the top, always. Or straight up pedo shit. Sigh. Looked in the Mituna tag a couple times. CroTuna fucking nightmare hell dimension, always. Or KanTuna, which I also have gripes with. Or KanMiTula, which I have even more gripes with.

It is my understanding that the state of Homestuck fanfiction hasn't gotten much better since the 2010s. Everyone is wrong and no one is normal. Sad.

------

I don't know if the mere act of only making Jade and Jake brown out of all the Kids is Racist on its own, per se, but it is kinda silly in the sense that, you know, John and Jade are siblings, so realistically they'd look similar. And... People absolutely do get racist about it. Like, making Jade and Jake uniquely huge, hairy, threatening, and oddly shaped - gangly in the context of Jade, buff as hell in the context of Jake. I've seen some SEVERELY racist drawings where Jade and/or Jake were the only hints of melanin in the Kid line up and... Oh my god. It can get to straight up caricature levels. Watermelons and everything. Just comedically racist.

------

Genuinely one of the dumbest fucking things in the world. People will say literally anything. Saying Damara isn't Japanese is on par with calling Porrim a fucking Men's Rights Activist. It's a funny little claim people who are grievously wrong say as a condemnation of the Alpha Trolls for no reason. Why. To look smart? To fit in? Dumbass. Notice how they always have to invent bullshit lies to critique anything instead of just saying things that are true. It really frustrates me how 99.9% of Alpha Troll criticism just isn't at all legitimate when there's some real, genuine issues you could critique. It's stupid horseshit. I hate it so badly.

I don't actually care whether or not someone likes the Alpha Trolls, but at least hate them accurately. Come on.

------

@sleepy-apparition

Everyone is so, so quick to turn a blind eye to just how violently misogynistic Kankri is, lmfao. Genuinely, I don't think I've ever seen anyone other than myself bring up the fact that he's an avid Slut-Shamer in the modern day. Other than that, I only really saw older Mituna fanatics bring it up over in the early-mid 2010s, but none of them are around these days.

Genuinely, some of the shit he says is so appalling, lol. Kankri FULLY deserves to get his ass beat.

------

I have said this before but I'll say it again - I do not think a Red Romantic Relationship will fix Dirk, or even really help him all that much. Before he gets into a RedRom, he needs some therapy, a break, and mood stabilizers.

However, I'm thoroughly of the opinion that a good BlackRom could work wonders on him, way more than a RedRom would. I think a solid, established Pitch Relationship with, like, Caliborn would be genuinely great for him, both mentally and in a Character Development sense. I hold zero interest in watching Dirk and Jake badly fumble a traditional romantic relationship - that notion is painful to me. ... But I do think I could read a full Intermission's worth of Dirk and Caliborn fucking around and not get tired of it once. They have a fantastic dynamic. It'd be good for Caliborn, too, I think.

This has been my Dirkuu propaganda bit. Thank you.

Also, the Voyeuristic feel of how people handle his Mental Illness. It makes me uncomfortable.

------

True. I don't have any other remarks to make about this, you're just correct. True.

------

... Fuckin'... Why, though? What- what's the appeal? There's nothing there. I literally cannot conceive any way in which that would be compelling, and I'd say Hal and Kankri are pretty high up there in the list of Male Homestuck Characters I Enjoy.

People will do anything but pay attention to Female Characters for five minutes. God. Lol.

------

It's literally just DaveKat 2. I don't think it even qualifies as a Crack Ship when it's just a variant of The Fandom's Most Darling M/M OTP. It's just a deeply mid RarePair. Crack Ship would be, like, Dirk Strider x Rainbow Dash.

Dirk x RD was a popular Crack Ship, sure, but it's still a Crack Ship on basis of being a Crossover Pairing.

------

I can't recall any specific instances of seeing this myself, but I'll believe it. People will do anything except be normal about Vriska. People will fight the war against Vriska on the side of and against Vriska at the same time. People will call her a Huge 8itch but then call her pathetic when she stops being a Huge 8itch.

We love Misogyny, I guess.

------

Well, he is based on Tumblr, after all. Particularly how dogshit the politics are on here. Of course he would. He'd do numbers on here, considering his Woke Hate Speech.

It's called Bubblr, by the way. Like, canonically. We do know what it's called.

------

It's actually based on the Three Wise Monkeys. You know, that old Japanese Proverb that goes "See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil"? That.

Kurloz is Speak No Evil, Meulin is Hear No Evil, Mituna is See No Evil.

------

Great Question. My personal guess is that he's a little too nuanced for a lot of people to be comfortable with handling. He throws out too much surface-level Bigotry that people aren't willing to ignore because it isn't Racism for many to feel comfortable making him their Blorbo. When Dave says the N-Word and talks about how fucking Racist he is and it literally never gets acknowledged or resolved, that's fine and dandy, but god forbid Caliborn be a Misogynist in the funniest way possible AND have that get acknowledged literally constantly as a problem. The fact that Caliborn isn't a Fuckable White 13-Year-Old Twink means none of his crimes are ever forgivable because he's ugly and unshippable, or whatever.

The fact that he's Mentally Disabled doesn't help. People can't fucking STAND IT when a character is Mentally Disabled in a way that isn't Cute and Consumable, much less a character who is Unconsumably Mentally Disabled AND Complicated. It's just not allowed!!

[saintsenara]

I need your thoughts on aunt petunia/rita skeeter

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

and i think... hot. entirely on "incredibly niche moments in british pop-culture" grounds...

by which i mean, when i try to imagine what rita looks like, she always takes a form vaguely similar to a journalist named samantha brick, who went viral in 2012 when she published an article in the daily mail entitled why do women hate me for being beautiful?

brick's article was typical, boring misogyny - and so was the response to it, which all centred on the idea that she didn't actually have any right to call herself attractive - but the relevant point here is that i can guarantee that petunia hate-read it literally a thousand times, that she told anyone who'd listen that she thought brick was a delusional tart who should stay away from other people's husbands [especially when they're fine british beef, like vernon], and that she was secretly quite jealous of brick for proclaiming loudly that she thinks herself beautiful.

the way that jkr uses physical appearance - and, especially, the way that women we aren't supposed to like are described either as fat or as unfemininely thin - has always annoyed me [even though i recognise it's a trope borrowed from many of the children's literature influences upon the series].

when it comes to petunia, so much of her physical description is intended to hint at her villainy. that she's unfemininely tall and thin, that she has a harsh, slightly equine appearance serves as a visual metaphor for her lack of the feminine characteristics the series considers admirable - she's cold, unnurturing, brittle, sterile, nosy, obsessed with how she's perceived, performative, cowardly, and so on. lily - with whom she's always contrasted - is a good woman - the ultimate mother - because she's real. and she's also - as the text tells us on several occasions - beautiful.

but if one wants to be more sympathetic, petunia's brittleness can be read instead as fragility. after all, she's a woman who - by the time she's twenty-four at most - is caring for two toddlers [one more than she was expecting], has lost her parents and sister, appears to be at home all day without much social support, is hyper-focused on not embarrassing a husband who appears to be quite a few years older than her by fucking up the class performance he expects but she's not completely familiar with... the list goes on.

what this must do to petunia's understanding of her own embodiment is really interesting to me. the entirety of the person she presents to the world is a fiction - she's a working-class girl with a sister who was a witch, who lives behind a thoroughly mundane and middle-class mask. this concealment will have an impact on how she understands herself as a physical creature - the petunia dursley she's created will not sweat or cry or shit or have body hair or devour or laugh until she can't stand or take or bleed or want or fuck.

and so, when she's alone and the mask comes off, can she think that the real woman who lurks underneath - whose body does all of these things she tries to hide - is beautiful?

i imagine petunia as being prone to a sort of obsessive, corrosive jealousy in her attitude towards women who are more defiant of social convention - especially women who reject the expectation that they will be meek, humble, self-deprecating, and demure.

which brings us onto...

rita skeeter is another character whose physical description in the text is something i think it's important to unpick. she's an example of the second technique which jkr uses when describing women the narrative doesn't wish us to be sympathetic to - that their gender expression has an exaggerated, hyper-feminine aesthetic.

jkr clearly thinks that this aesthetic is unnatural - in that it only belongs to women who have to play up a pantomime of femininity because they are improperly feminine in any "innate" way. dolores umbridge's girlish, pastel looks, for example, are horrifying because the person beneath them is sociopathic in her cruelty to children.

with rita, i am always struck - especially given the turn jkr has taken in recent years - that she is described in goblet of fire as someone with a hyper-feminine aesthetic which fails [in the text's eyes] to mask that she is physically unfeminine.

she is described as having "hair ... set in elaborate and curiously rigid curls that contrasted oddly with her heavy-jawed face", and "thick fingers [which] ended in two-inch nails, painted crimson", and "large, mannish hands", and she's caked in make-up, and she likes her accessories with a slightly tacky vibe.

she's described - in short - in ways which are intended to make her seem ridiculous [cheap, brassy, mutton-dressed-as-lamb] within the confines of how the text [and the world] thinks cisgender women should properly perform femininity.

but she's also described in ways which suggest that we're supposed to think that she looks like someone who is not a cisgender woman trying - and failing - to "pass". the text is of the tedious opinion that we should think less of her because of this.

but fuck that!

what i like about rita is the fact that she takes this treatment by the text and... doesn't give a shit about it. she's loud and eye-catching and caustic and rude and grasping and a complete hack. what you see with her is what you get - nobody thinks she's a good or impartial journalist, including her, and she simply doesn't care! and she thinks she looks hot as hell while doing it. after all, she has her quill describe her as an "attractive blonde". harry thinks that's an offensive suggestion - but she doesn't have to.

do i think rita is a straightforwardly admirable person? no. do i think that she doesn't mask and conceal her insecurities from the world? also no.

but i think she has that self-belief which petunia would pretend she thought was disgusting but which she secretly envied rita for. and i think this - someone like petunia, repressed and concealed, meeting someone who has no shame in immoderation and who gives them permission to exist greedily - is a trope which always hits.

do i think it would last? no. i think it's a wild fling and then they go their separate ways - and i also think, as i know i say ad nauseam, that this matters. the harry potter series thinks of love as something which endures for years in solemn silence, which sacrifices and which suffers.

but sometimes love is a week of getting your nails done, sunning yourself in a leopard-print thong bikini, being trashy and immodest and demanding, and eating ice-cream out of the navel of a blonde who doesn't give a fuck what people say about her. nothing more, nothing less.

good for them.

[thecoolerliauditore]

Pls tell me about Scott's views on women in general pls I'm begging you

o7 and I'm sorry

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

fyi, the post itself isn't NSFW, but I'll be getting all gender theory in this bitch so I'll be referencing a lot of things and putting in pictures of naked ppl sometimes. maybe skip this one if you don't like that

(long post)

Disclaimers

An explanation for the tweet up there

I usually don't write these because I assume the people on my blog have enough sense to realise when I'm talking about the characters vs the CCs or are comfortable enough being a little confused, but I feel the need to extra-clarify here and expand on how I specifically view C vs CC because I think it differs a little from the average person.

To me, C and CC are two separate entities but not entirely disconnected. What differs (e.g. the exclusion of irl relationships -- their wives, kids, etc.) is poignant enough to severely detach them from the people they originated from, at least in my eyes, but there's also the fact that these are not scripted characters, just creators being themselves with a hint of behind the scenes drama-adding and improv thrown in.

For example, CC Pearl is a car nerd. So I assume her character is too.

This is where I state very clearly that yes, a lot of these thoughts come from things I've seen on Scott's twitter, which is undoubtedly the CC and not the C. However I, to me, am still talking about the C because any observations/judgments I could make on actual irl youtuber CC guy Scott Major would be tabloid at best and slightly invasive at worst. I'm seeing these statements within the context of "the death game guy would say this too and I'm writing this based on that", not "this is the inner psychological workings of the youtuber because I, as a fan, can totally tell".

TLDR I don't consider this post RPF but you might. This is a little more RPF-y than my usual stuff. If you don't rock with it we cool.

Everyone is weird about women, and that's okay

One short-hand I've used in the past to talk about Scott and women is just by saying that he's "weird about women" which I'm sure isn't exclusive to him.

(shitpost I made awhile back)

I see a lot of people now who love "villains" and "evil" but when it comes to any traits resembling real life evil (e.g. misogyny in this case) they suddenly become insecure. Just a couple of days back a saw a post on twitter essentially asking for permission to continue liking CC Scott in spite of the "bad things" he did.

And I think, in order to present an analysis like this, I must address that mindset first.

This is not a judgment on Scott's morality, nor is it trying to dissuade you from liking him. This is not saying that he is any more misogynistic than any other player in the series. This is just me pointing out Scott's attitude towards women and what I read it as, nothing less or more.

The feelings that me pointing these things out - be they apathy, disgust, anger or, what I would hope to see most, interest - are your own. I'm not here to tell anyone how to feel and never will try to police that on my blog.

Scott's Relationships with Women

aka. oh yeah this is about minecraft.

Scott and Cleo || "Yeah, you can kill me."

Scott and Cleo's alliance is arguably the strongest in the entire series, spanning through all five seasons and remaining unbroken with no (serious) drama attached. You'd expect from this that they two have a very settled and stable understanding of eachother, yet this isn't a case.

Their power dynamic shifts dramatically from one season to the next.

3L's initial Widows Alliance began on fairly equal footing, built on the mutual agreement that they were waiting for their respective partners to die. Both understood they were eachothers' "plan B" and felt comfortable in that arrangement.

Come LL, Cleo does what she couldn't in 3L, and initiates that plan, going to Scott after her last alliance, the fairy fort, fell apart. Scott requests nothing from her in return.

DL is the longest the two spent as eachothers main ally. Cleo is the one who initially proposes teaming up to spite their "cheating" soulmates and Scott agrees. Cleo admits to Martyn in private that she's aware she's taking advantage of Scott (which I've always interpreted as her talking about all seasons, not just DL). Due to the time they spend together, it's here where it becomes apparent that their initial assumptions during 3L were not entirely accurate, as Scott shows a level of gameplay competency much higher than Cleo's (e.g. teaching her how to axe-crit) but despite this Scott never berates her or thinks any less of her value as his ally.

LimL is probably this pairing at their most unhinged, as Scott, despite once again asking for nothing (or very little -- I'll be honest I'm a bit fuzzy on this) in return from Cleo, allows them and their allies to butcher him repeatedly for time. He gives more time to the Clockers than he does to Martyn, his closest ally that season. Despite this, Scott is never ever considered as a "family member" by the Clockers, despite them giving that title to even temporary allies (like the Bad Boys being their cousins) -- even Martyn gets a title with Scott completely unattached.

SL is relatively more chill, but shows that the two inevitably end up teaming together even despite their oath to avoid eachother that season.

The point being -- again and again, we see Scott literally and metaphorically making sacrifices for Cleo, with the only real transaction he requires from her being that she continues having his back when times get rough. This is despite that he's aware she isn't any more capable than he is and the fact that so far it has only been Cleo in rough times (LL, LimL and SL) and never Scott.

Speaking from a purely transactional perspective, Scott is not getting a bargain here -- and even Cleo seems acutely aware of it, judging by her comment during DL as well as the way she tends to speak of her survival capabilities very lowly in general ("rubbish pvp skills and spiffy one-liners"). I'm speaking in this sense because I've seen discussions in the past about the transactional way Scott views relationships but rarely does Cleo get brought up.

This is at stark contrast to how he treats Jimmy, whose predicted death was what spurred on Scott and Cleo's alliance in the first place.

Scott assumes Jimmy is "incompetent", where he assumes Cleo is capable. When Jimmy messes up, he reprimands him, when Cleo struggles to crit him, he patiently teaches her. When LL begins, Scott's first instinct was to look at Jimmy's lives and note that he was "useless to (him)", but holds no objections to Cleo joining his alliance despite her already having enemies being a potential liability. In SL, he jokes about how Cleo and him being allied is a given and pretty much expected of them, whereas in LimL he explicitly requests from Jimmy a recognition that he still cares ("say love you back!") before he will help him.

Scott and Gem || "You HAVE TO kill me, Gem,"

In SL, Gem settles in very easily in a leadership position within Gem and the Scotts due to her trying to live up to her reputation but also due to Scott and Impulse's more laid back, passive playstyles.

Both Scott and Impulse let Gem kill them for extra health this season, although Scott is arguably much more subservient than Impulse is, with him not only insisting that she kill him in the final episode but also not fighting back (and only yelling for her to stop) when she starts hitting him with a sword during the episode where her task was to literally kill everyone on the server.

Once again comparing her to Jimmy, Scott in 3L had a tendency to brush aside Jimmy's concerns over alliances (e.g. Jimmy questioning if they could trust Cleo) while in SL Scott runs his plans by Gem (and Pearl and Impulse) in terms of who he wanted to team up with (specifically excluding Joel from the potential mounders alliance) implying he held her opinion in some form of regard.

Before this becomes less of an analysis of Scott's treatment of men vs women and more of Scott's treatment of Jimmy vs everyone else, I think it's notable enough to mention that he and Martyn also lacked this sort of communication in LimL. He would inform Martyn of his plans, but rarely was it ever framed as a request.

SL almost feels as if Scott has slid Gem into the slot he had previously designated for Cleo in 3L (his girlboss ally) as he provides her and pretty much forces onto her by the end the acts of service he'd become accustomed to performing for Cleo.

Scott and Lizzie || "You killed her! I don't.. I don't know what to even say!"

Relatively shorter section because this is the one woman he hasn't teamed with, but there's still some interesting stuff I wanted to touch on.

In LL, one of the first thing Scott does is yell at Pearl to revenge-kill Joel for boogey-killing him. Pearl does as she's told and Joel's wet miserable pathetic LL life gets worse from there.

Several episodes later, the roles are reversed -- Lizzie lies to both of them and manages to isolate and boogey-kill Pearl. Scott, instead of reacting with the anger he had for Joel, is almost in a state of shock as he asks Lizzie to let him down so he could collect Pearl's belongings. He doesn't act aggressively towards Lizzie at all, with his most antagonizing act against her being to lie about his intentions when giving her a wither skull.

In SL, he's the only one aware of her early permadeath, but keeps quiet about it almost as if he's in a state of shock akin to when he saw Lizzie kill Pearl in LL. It's not until the others have noticed when he finally brings it up.

Scott and Pearl || "Tilly death do us 'part"

I wrote a whole post just for their relationship alone so for the sake of my sanity I'll be leaving this here.

So now I get to dedicate this section to the meat of this post -- how the way Scott treats women in general impacts his relationship with Pearl and how I view his heel-turn on her as seeping with relevance to Pearl's perceived gender.

In all three of the previous sections, the running theme is that Scott is 1. kinder and more patient with women, regardless of their competency and 2. someone who likes to be in a supporting role to women, occasionally aiding them more than he aids himself and his closer male allies (e.g. Jimmy and Martyn). As shown with Cleo, he assumes that girls have it together, but even if they don't it's not a big deal. When a girl's actions are truly disastrous, such as with Lizzie's, he goes into a state of shock and doesn't really react, preferring to swallow it down and not acknowledge it.

With the amount of times he sacrifices himself, I don't think it's a reach to say that Scott values his own life less than he values the lives of his (female) allies. This specific point actually does extend to his male allies too, shown when he's happy when Martyn literally backstabs him in LimL, but just as with the Martyn post where I point out his victim status-ing doesn't end at only women but includes all the women, Scott has pedastal-ed all the women he's teamed with.

Lizzie is, once again, the exception here due to his limited interactions with her. However that's actually somewhat patched over if you look at adjacent series (such as x-life) where he definitely shows her a level of admiration and respect.

Back to Scott and Pearl.

Their relationship during LL is very standard of how Scott treats women. While the power dynamic between them is obviously more caused by the initial life trade agreement, I don't think it's a far reach to say that Scott is somewhat comfortable in the arrangement.

However, this is also the first thing that sets their relationship apart from Scott with Cleo or Gem -- Pearl is the one making sacrifices, not Scott. She is the one "sacrificing" her lives to him, just in a more non-violent way as allowed by the season's mechanics.

When viewed through this lens, Scott trying to make it up to her and wanting his effort acknowledged makes even more sense. This is suddenly uncharted waters for him. His assuming that Pearl doesn't value him as a person goes hand in hand with him valuing himself less than her.

What Scott has with Cleo or Gem, situations where the other party is clearly uncomfortable with how he treats himself (Gem) or actively aware they are taking advantage of him (Cleo), is equalized to him because he is inherently worth less. What he has with Pearl, on the other hand, looks more equal to most people (lives vs labour) but is wildly imbalanced to him.

It's one of the many factors I see going into Scott's weird decision to abandon her in DL.

An Interlude, Before We Get to DL

La Pieta, Michelangelo

So this has been a lot of words so far and some of you might be wondering at this point: why say Scott is "weird" about women when so far this has been describing how he values women more, is kinder to them, is more patient with them, etc.? How is any of this behaviour remotely misogynistic?

And I would feel horrible if I forced you to read through all of my DL thoughts before I clarified this -- Scott is not your classic wifebeater "women are lesser" misogynist, Scott is someone who subscribes to misogynistic schools of thought and probably considers himself an ally to women, when in reality his beliefs are still rooted in dehumanizing them and these beliefs end up harming the women around him as well as himself.

After all, seeing women are your superiors is still not seeing them as your equals.

I know it's a bit of a meme on this blog at this point. But. Sigmund Freud identified what we know refer to as the "madonna/whore complex", which he described as a pattern of behaviour in men who separated women into being madonnas (pure, holy and admirable) and whores (debased, sexual, deviant). We'll be focusing on the former, the madonna, as it is more relevant to Scott's character.

Freud proposed that the madonna figure was something men projected onto women as a replacement for maternal love. These women are sacred and untouchable, literally as the projection of the maternal role onto them also makes it so that the sufferer cannot feel any sexual attraction towards her (keep this in mind for later).

Scott projects the madonna figure onto his female compatriots -- they are to be protected, served and supported. They are goddesses, queens, but they are never human. The madonna role in of itself is not inherently harmful to the woman, as seen with Cleo who takes control and advantage of it. However, it is enforced, as seen with Gem who at first revels in the superiority but almost breaks down when Scott offers him up as her sacrificial lamb one last time.

I linked this Utena AMV awhile back when vaguely talking about Scott and women, and this was the point I was alluding to.

Girls are beautiful and pure. They don't spit on the street, they don't piss on the street, they don't build hierarchies -- they subvert all the expectations of masculinity that I hate having to deal with. They are my escape.

But what about the girls who do spit on the street? The girls who piss on seats? Who build social hierarchies, who size up their competition?

The girls Scott interacts with are all painfully human. Cleo weaponizes his beliefs and take advantage of him. Scott is smart enough to know and accept this. Gem's playing into a role she has been assigned into by not only Scott but everyone around her. Scott supports the character she plays. Lizzie reflects traits he hates in Joel and Jimmy, but for her, he looks the other way.

Are they "demons", as the song says, or are they no longer girls at all?

(demons, gods, but never humans)

Weaponized Femininity and Women In Total Control of Themselves ;)

Hylas and the Nymphs, John William Waterhouse

Historically, weaponized femininity I'd argue is one of the oldest tropes in storytelling. Whether it's nymphs or sirens or witches or succubi or even more roundabout cases like Helen of Troy, there's countless stories of men's sexual attraction to women leading them to disaster.

One way to view these stories is to see them as warnings, don't let womens allure be the end of you.

There's a lot of good writing done on the femme fatale trope both in the context of weaponizing femininity and as a sexist way to argue against victims of sexual assault, as these stories often say that men who experience attraction to these "evil" women no longer have agency over their own actions.

Look at the painting above, for example - is it the nymphs who are responsible for drowning Hylas, or is Hylas climbing into the lake of his own accord?

Despite the fact we all know sirens, nymphs and succubi aren't real, the belief that men will simply lose control of themselves when encountering a particularly alluring woman persists to the modern consciousness. That there's something inherently dangerous about women and attraction to them.

(this is not 100% applicable to Ninja saying he won't stream with women, but it's the real life example I felt most comfortable putting in here)

Now, let's combine this with what's been said so far -- let's say you don't hate women. You love women, in fact, and you hate the way men treat women. You hate men, in fact.

Yet, you still believe in this inherent power women hold by being female and the loss of agency that men experience when attracted to them -- how disgusting.

It quickly becomes easily to not only demonize men for sullying the holiness of women, but also men, masculinity and attraction to women as a whole.

(apologies for using twt discourse in the meta post but this flew by my TL and i had to grab the irl example of mens non-violent attraction to women being used to frame them as misogynistic before the stupid app refreshed and i lose everything forever)

"To Venner" is a student film exploring a world set within this belief, where all the women have vanished and the men have become monstrous figures as a result of their pent up sexual frustration. fyi this is one of my favourite student films (and ive watched a bunch), but I do think its messaging is worth breaking down (especially its juxtaposition of dirty horrible monstrous sexuality vs pure and beautiful romantic love)

NOTE: this film is super graphic, lots of violence and nudity. have fun. or not

I admit this section is a bit hard to gauge as everyone in the series is gay as fuck. The closest in-series example I can think of is Scott reacting to Martyn's antics in DL with a sort of indigence but otherwise I can't really think of an example of a man expressing attraction to a woman at all, let alone one Scott reacted to. However, I do think it's still worth talking about because it opens up some interesting trains of thought in regard to Scott and Pearl.

For Scott, he himself has never been part of the picture. He's gay, after all, which gives him an edge over the bad straight men who objectify and assault women. Likewise, there's little evidence to suggest he finds the expectations of masculinity frustrating, but I don't think it's too far a reach considering how common of an experience that is for gay men and his adapting of more feminine mannerisms.

Double Life and Corruption

As mentioned in my previously linked post about Scott and Pearl's relationship, I do think Scott experiences what he would name as attraction towards Pearl, so my writing will reflect that.

Pearl is. ahem. not like other girls.

Not actually. But to Scott, she probably isn't like other girls.

She remains unaware of his different standards for her (how could she when she had nothing to compare them to), she acts out, sometimes violently, against Scott's urging (such as when she stole from Scar's wagon). She maintains their already irregular dynamic, and while she appreciates his care for her, she never quite falls into seeing him as a source of subservience the way Cleo or Gem do.

At the end of LL, right before the 1v1v1v1, she monologues to herself that she no longer has to feel bad for killing Scott. Which, in turn, implies she expected Scott to give it his all against her as well.

She entirely fails to embody the madonna with her immature naivete and her questionable morals. She is unpredictable, she doesn't take what she is owed, she is a monster in a lot of ways.

Scott, too, is a monster, to himself, for how he feels about her.

The very foundations of your understanding of yourself being ripped apart aside, let's rewind to the madonna/whore complex. To sexualise the madonna is to corrupt her and make a monster of yourself. Suddenly, you are no better than the men around you, the ones you've grown to hate. Suddenly, you are the grotesque figures in films like To Venner. You are Hylas and she is the nymph. And you are so stupid. Your worldview crumbles around its flawed foundations.

Scott is, however, immune to this corruption. This is a theme that appears in Empires as well, but throughout the traffic series he's prided himself on being loyal and kind and good. His monologue leading up to LL's 1v1v1v1 summarizes it quite well.

He can't let himself or anyone else see this side of him, but the energy needs to go somewhere. To defy fate, abandon your soulmate, is to admit you had a fate in the first place, is to acknowledge that she was your soulmate in the first place.

I've previously talked about how fate and romance are very ingrained in Scott's belief system, if it was anyone else it would've been amazing. He could've been like Bdubs and Impulse or Ren and Bigb, diving into domestic life and performative romance with a stranger. Or the world could've made his happy ending from 3L real, as he got to be Jimmy's husband all over again. I think it says something that he accepts Cleo as a "soulmate" before Pearl.

So what do you do with all that energy and tension, clearly apparent to yourself and everyone else, when you can't let them observe your feelings?

You project them.

Shout-outs to @/legally-allowed-to-slime for pointing out Pearl's comment early on in DL that she "feels like (she's) been broken up with" confirms she never saw Scott in a romantic sense. The "crazy ex-girlfriend" and "this is why I'm gay" comments really did come out of thin air, or perhaps insecurity.

Pearl is the crazy one. She's insane, because she wants me. She wants to be with me, so she does all this crazy stuff. She's lost control of herself because she wants me. She's disgusting.

I mentioned before that Scott is not your classic misogynist, but this is where the gears start turning. Scott's views of Pearl echo that of other players, most prominently Ren and Martyn, that Pearl has been overcome with some sort of corruption. She has become the witch, the demoness, the whore, in their eyes. Scott does not want to be the same as these men and I think his overcorrecting his behaviour in SL makes sense when you view it from this angle, but for now he has to rely on more traditional misogyny in order to navigate this new obstacle.

"Corruption" also implies that she had to have been pure (or at least pure-er) beforehand, something Scott personally knows is not true, but it falls in line with defaulting women to being "madonnas".

This is a Scott post but. shout outs to Ren for being all of this about Pearl but without the complexity of Scott like he literally accuses Pearl of seducing Bigb what the fuck man.

Pearl is, of course, none of that. But she plays into the role of being the witch much better than she fared playing into the role of the madonna.

Sidenote: I know I'm looking at this from a Scott/Pearl POV but I do feel like you can omit Scott's attraction if you look at it from a purely "pearl not performing to standards of femininity I expect and she makes me realise I don't view women as a whole as human which makes me feel weird so now we have to do this" POV. Like idk I think the exact reason he abandoned Pearl is going to be lost on everyone forever so any analysis I could perform is going to suffer at least a little bit of making-shit-up-itis.

I do also think there's something to be said about Pearl being pushed until she performed a role, any role and generally failing at Being A Girl tm but that's another post i think. yknow shes um. a bit. 🏳️‍⚧️ (but also very much not at the same time idk that's gonna need its own post)

anyway yeah uh the minecraft movie looks crazy huh

[jarofstyles]

Reaper 2

We are so happy about the response we have gotten to the first part of this fic, this one has been one we’ve really been enjoying writing so it’s nice to know you are enjoying it as well :)

as always, please read all the warnings for each chapter of this fic as it is darker. 

Check out our Patreon for exclusive writing and early access! 

Part 3 of Reaper is available there now 

warnings: stalking, talk of crime and gangs, misogyny, general dudes being assholes, talk of violence, gun and weapon mentions, etc

wc: 4.8k

What exactly did one wear to a clubhouse at 7 in the morning?

Y/N had packed in a hurry but she mostly wore black so it’s not like there was a lack of outfit combinations. She opted for something she’d feel comfortable in, pulling on a pair of tights to wear under her black slip dress. It made her feel pretty and that’s exactly what she needed to lift her mood today.

The weather was finally starting to get warmer out so her hand-me-down cut would do the trick. Sterling gave it to her when she turned 18, having put a massive bunny patch over the back of it and she’d been wearing it almost everyday since.

She even put on a pump-up rock playlist as she drove behind Harry’s bike. For some, it may be excessive, but she was actually really excited to see the infamous clubhouse.

She had heard about all the fun nights they had there, Sterling always sparing the intimate details because of club rules, but she knew it was because she was his little kid sister and always would be. The fact that Harry was taking her there made her feel like she earned it, but it was definitely because of the stalker problem. She’d still tell herself that though… for her own sake.

The clubhouse wasn’t so much a house as it was a warehouse, hidden by the outskirts of the city. Stepping out of the car the smell was the first thing that hit her. It wasn’t exactly glamorous, but neither were bikers.

Harry’s face held a hint of amusement, making her feel a little warm. She obviously hadn’t been expecting this, but his never ending stare unnerved her.

However, the amused looked dropped when he stopped her before she even rounded the car. His face was deadly serious as he stepped in front of her, his broody energy back with vengeance- like he suddenly remembered why they were here.

“Please, Bunny. Listen to me in there. The guys would never hurt you. But they’re flirts and real assholes. Don’t take what they say to heart. Stay by my side.” He placed his hands on her jacket covered arms, initiating the touch first.

“Whatever we talk about in there? Know it’s in your best interest. They’ll think you’re a new girl coming in to fuck but I’ll make sure they know you’re off limits. Viper knows what went down, he has some suggestions. You’ve met him before.” Viper was a very scary looking man at 6’5, bulky muscles, full beard and covered neck to toe with ink. But he was a genuinely good guy. She had met him at Sterling’s family birthday party when he rolled up to bring his own present.

“Once the plan is laid out, we’ll let the rest of ‘em know what’s going down and they’ll be able to protect you. The guys with this patch-” He pointed to his cut where his Devil’s Keepers patch was. “They’re patched in and the safest. If they don’t have one, they’re a prospect. Being a bitch for us to prove they’re worthy of comin’ in.” He explained. She really didn’t have a clue, but luckily kept up.

“Be good for me, yeah?” His voice softened a little bit. To most, it wouldn’t be noticeable, but she noticed it. He wanted her to be good. It was something that felt like a goal. Be good and maybe get some more of this tone.

“Yes, sir.” She nodded, giving him a cute but serious face to show she understood and was going to follow his directions. She could also tell that he liked it, the way his brows flickered and his demeanor shifted into something she had never seen from him. It’s like he didn’t expect her to flirt with him.

Hooking her arm around his, she let him lead them into the building where the stench intensified. A deadly mix of booze, sweat, smoke, and probably piss— how appealing. It would take some getting used to, she didn’t dare make a face though.

“Oh look what the cat dragged it,  it’s the Reaper himself!” One of the men greeted loud enough for everyone to hear, a chorus of greetings following shortly after.

All eyes however were pinned on her, she could feel them all over her body. She wondered if it was just because she was hanging on Harry’s arm or if it was truly because she was new but nothing could have prepared her for the comments that followed.

“Got a new bitch, huh?”

“Never thought I’d see the damn day!”

“Sexy little thing, do a spin!”

“Show her off, Reaper!”

“Damn, the tits on that one. Want to come over after you’re done with him?”

Harry stood silently, eyes cold at the jarring. He didn’t like it directed at her. He’d killed men for less, despite her lack of knowledge. His jaw clenched tightly as he tried his best to not act impulsively. This was her, this was Bunny.

He snarled his lip and decided the gun would be overkill, opting for an out of character snap.

“Fuck off.” He growled. “S’fucking Bunny. Silver’s sister. Have some respect.”

Immediately the air turned cold, awkwardness seeping in. His breathing was heavier. Of course, he had tried to prepare himself for the parade of talk but it pissed him off regardless, pulling her closer to his body.

“Well, fuck.” A voice coughed out. It was truly a sight to see, massive bikers with scary auras looking like pups who just got in trouble.

“Yeah. Watch your fuckin’ mouths around her. She’s not a pussy for you. Not a hand on her. Goin’ through enough without havin’ to deal with shitty sex.” He narrowed his eyes, the warning loud and clear as his hand ran over her shoulder.

The Reaper didn’t bring women here. He only slept with fresh ones, but he avoided repeats and everyone knew that.

“They won’t bother you with that locker room shit again.” He dropped his voice to a whisper, anger still palpable within it. “Let’s fuckin’ go. Before I start throwing punches.” He felt the red behind his eyes and needed to get her out of there.

She hadn’t said a single thing since arriving, just looking between everyone with big eyes. Like a bunny. Y/N wasn’t sure how or when she got the nickname but it did fit her perfectly. She was very bubbly and jumpy, very fast. Even qualities like her blank stare or the way she scrunched her nose when she was unhappy.

Sterling was the one who started pointing her habits out, affectionally rubbing her head whenever she did something akin to it. So it stuck.

Following Harry down a dark hall with a flickering light, she felt a nervousness start to brew in her belly as the giddiness of the morning faded. They were here to discuss her stalker and the plan ahead. It was all starting to kick in. It smelt so dank, there must have been a leak in the wall but whatever it was, it didn’t make her feel any better.

Harry knocked three times on the large metal door, pushing it open with a creak and allowed her to step into the room first. He had his hand placed on the small of her back beneath her jacket, both for his comfort and hers. He could tell she was anxious, her slightly bent knee bouncing every so often was an obvious tell.

“If it isn’t Bunny and Reaper.” Viper was sitting behind a large Mahogany desk, hands behind his head as he stretched. “Get the fuck in here.”

Harry let her go first, the couch in front of the desk taking both of their bodies. He could feel how anxious she was and it made him sympathetic. It’s why he hadn’t brought her here despite her curiosities. His arm curled around the back of the couch, almost in a protective way.

“Wish it was under better circumstances.” Viper sobered up, hands clapping together on the desk. He was a very large man and intimidating despite Harry’s insistence he was a good guy.

“Now… Reaper’s told me about what he knows. Black truck with a large scratch. We’ve been putting feelers out for that, so we hope to have someone with information come to us soon. But until we have some solid shit, I think you know that staying with Reaper is the best thing.”

She nodded quietly, looking to Harry for reassurance. He offered a little by brushing his finger against her shoulder once.

“The thing is, we’ve helped people with scum like this before. He’s obviously ballsy to get into your damn house in the middle of the day. He hasn’t approached you yet which makes it tricky… but we figured we may need to lure him out.” Viper exchanged looks with Harry, nodding as he continued.

“We discussed last night… with protection of the club, of course, you’re gonna have to have a tail whenever you’re not with Reaper. One of the men will stand guard. It ain’t ideal, but it’s what we will do until we find the fucker.”

“Uh…” Bunny swallowed. Harry nodded again to urge her to ask her question. “Lure him out? How?”

This was the part Harry was dreading.

“Reaper’s going to claim you. You’re gonna be his girl, for all appearances sake. Make him think you’re dating.”

Dating? Harry agreed to this? For her safety? Could he act? He was going to give up his solo life for this? So many questions were popping into Y/N’s head.

“And having Harry claim me is meant to lure him out of hiding?” Bunny thought it was a fair question, thinking that if she was her stalker having Harry around would actually have the opposite effect. “You think the man has a death wish?” She asked with a small and awkward chuckle, trying to crack a joke to lighten the mood for her sake.

“And if the man is stalking me he knows who Harry is. He’s been by my house pretty regularly since Sterling left…. But then again what do I know about men and their fight for dominance.” She sighed, smoothing out the skirt of her dress.

“The guy wants you to know he’s watching. He’s moving and taking shit on purpose. To me, it seems like he’s trying to talk to you silently. In his mind it makes sense.” Viper sighed.

“I do think he has a death wish, actually. Most stalking cases end in a murder-suicide. Not to scare you, though. We won’t let that shit happen.” Harry could feel her tense up at Viper’s words.

Despite his self control, he couldn’t help himself from trying to comfort her. His hand curled around the back of her neck and squeezed a little, trying his best to make her feel at least a little less tense. He was there. He wasn’t going to let shit happen to her.

“He’s going to want to let you know he’s there and you’re with the wrong person, Bunny.” Harry said quietly. “They get more agitated. It’s why we will keep someone on you at all times, so he doesn’t have a chance to get to you alone- but he’s going to be pissed and upset that you’ll be dating someone.”

Harry had thought about it long and hard over the phone call and the night before falling asleep. “If you don’t want to… I’m sure we can try and trace him in other ways. But we don’t think he’ll come out of his bitch hiding hole so fast if he doesn’t think there’s a threat to the end goal. He wants you.”

That was a tough pill for him to swallow. A crazy person wanted Bunny. Sweet, sensitive Bunny. He understood her appeal, all too fucking well… but that didn’t mean the man had to resort to stalking. He could man up and ask her on a date and her reject it- but he wasn’t right in the head.

Oh. Oh.

Clearly, she had no idea what stalkers were actually like. In her head, it was just some creepy guy who wanted her attention and went to great lengths to get it, which glosses over the true sentiment of the act. This man was fucking crazy. He spent 3 whole months watching her and coming into her room.

It was hitting her now, the realization of how scary it was. She had been creeped out before this conversation, sure, but now she was starting to feel ill as all the memories of the past three months began to be consumed by a cloud of grey. Every memory tainted by the fact that this creep might have been there watching her the whole time, trying to get to her, to do god knows what.

There was no way that she could go back home with that thought so present in her mind. This creep wanted her. So much so the club was convinced the man would take violent action against her.

Harry could feel the tension building in her neck, her heart beat so fast and hard that he could feel it even with his thumb just gently pressed to her skin.

“I’ll do it..” She cleared her throat, feeling a little bit of dryness in her mouth that she needed to clear before she continued. “But I want to make sure my ma is safe too.“

“Of course.” Harry nodded. “We’ll have someone stationed at your house and at the hospital. Put in a security system too. We’ve got to let her know, Bunny.” He murmured, looking at her with a sadness in his gut.

It was hitting her and he could see it. The way she slumped slightly and the bouncing of her knee started up again. The gravity of it coming into play. Of course- they could be wrong and the guy could fuck off. That would be the most ideal thing, even if Harry did want to send him down to hell. But it was doubtful.

“Reaper’s right. We take care of our own.” Viper patted his desk, looking at the poor thing. “Good news is? You’ve got us on your side. You’re the safest girl in the damn world with us with you. Especially Reaper.” He gave her a wink. “He can be a scary fucker.”

She’d never seen him in a situation that called for his namesake. Thank fuck. Harry knew she’d look at him completely differently with that. He was not the man she knew when he got pushed to his limit.

“Gonna make sure all the brothers know it too. I’m sure they’ll try their hand at charming you but you’re Reaper’s girl right now. Make sure you make it believable if he’s watching. You never know when he is…. Speaking of.” Viper looked over to Harry.

“We need your phone while you’re at breakfast. Wiz is going to check and make sure there isn’t any tracking software or bugs on it. Left it in the car, right?”

She had, despite confusion about Harry’s order. “Good. He’ll go grab it while we eat. Do you have any questions for me, little rabbit?” Viper asked. The more she talked to him, the more she got comfortable with him. He was on her side, thank god. She wouldn’t want to know how he would be if she wasn’t.

“Not at the moment, no.” She shook her head slightly, turning to look at Harry once again. It seemed like he was going to be her only comfort through this and she hoped he wouldn’t regret his decision.

Bunny could be a bit of a handful. He’d seen her in her bouncy state— talking at the speed of light, always up to no good. A handful, but a playful one. She was more worried about what he would think of her when she really let her emotions go.

Though he had known her for years and seen her in every state imaginable, he had yet to see her breakdown. She’d never let him see her be truly vulnerable or how she got carried away by her feelings. Y/N was only so strong, she couldn’t hold everything in for long and she knew he would get the worst of it now they were living together.

Normally she wouldn’t care, but it was Harry. Harry who she desperately wanted to impress, Harry who would now be giving her a taste of everything she’s ever wanted all for a stalker. She was scared she’d play the part a little too well.

There was no point in thinking about it now, the plate of food in front of her was enough of a distraction for the time being.

His arm stayed around her chair. The guys had the decency to look sheepish as they muttered their apologies but Harry was still not too pleased.

It wasn’t logical, no. He knew they didn’t know and it would be a whatever response to other girls who chose to come here and knew what they were walking into- though he wasn’t one to be a complete ass and talk about women the way some of them did. That didn’t mean it didn’t bug the fuck out of him.

It was Bunny. She was someone he was protective of. Even more so, that small seed of something else he was trying to tamper down didn’t seem to die, especially with the new development. He’s going to have to touch her, to hold her, to make it seem like they were a thing.

Living a fantasy until all this shit was over and he would let her go so she wouldn’t be wrapped up in the dirty shit that was his life.

“Eat.” He nudged her leg with his. “It’s good. Promise.” As unappealing as the clubhouse could be, the girls who worked the kitchen knew what the fuck they were doing.

It’s not that the food didn’t look good or that she wasn’t hungry— she was starving when she woke up this morning. Bunny was never one to turn down food, but the conversation they’d just had left her with little to no appetite.

Not wanting to seem rude, she took a fork full of tomato and eggs into her mouth followed by some bread, and chewed. It was delicious and spicy, just how she liked them.

“The girls cook these? Can I see the kitchen after?” She blinked up at Harry with big eyes. Of course, cooking would be what got her out of this mood, but he could tell there was still some residual anxiety creeping. He knew that would take a while to go away though.

“Maybe I can cook a meal for everyone soon… as a thank you for the hard work and stuff.”

“I’m not sure.” Chances are the girls wouldn’t be so nice. There were a few that were married to a few of the brothers but they didn’t come around all the time. Viper’s woman was someone he could see her getting along with, but the women in the kitchen were trying to become like one of them.

“I think maybe we’ve had enough of the clubhouse today. Can cook them something another time. I’ll let you do it by yourself.” He had already finished his food but he wanted to watch her eat a bit more.

Since it was obvious she was having issues, he took the fork with a sigh and picked up another bite. “Cmon. Eat a few more bites so you don’t pass out on me when we go to the damn store.”

Truthfully, he wanted to be a bit selfish and keep her cooking to himself. He wouldn’t, because cooking for people made her genuinely happy, but he didn’t like that other people would experience it.

“You can cook at my place, though. Whatever you want. I never use the kitchen so you’ve got free reign of it.” He was trying. He really was. Of course he didn’t want to say no to those pretty eyes, but she was already overwhelmed. She needed down time in a smaller, less overstimulating place. His place.

—

She could feel the weight being lifted off her shoulders the moment she left the clubhouse. As much as she hated to admit, it probably wasn’t the best place for her to be, but it felt familiar to her in a way that should be alarming.

Oh well. Right now, her mind was trying to focus on breathing regularly with Harry so close to her.

She was standing by the shopping cart, reading over the list off to the side when she felt his presence show up behind her. The warmth radiating from him created contrast between him and the chilly air of the grocery store, making her shiver.

“You cold, Bunny?” Harry whispered in her ear, slowly wrapping an arm around her in an attempt to provide some additional heat. He would be lying if he said this was part of the act, in all honesty, he wasn’t sure it was ever going to be an act. He’d deal with those consequences later.

He heard the catch in her breath as his hand splayed across her stomach, looking over her shoulder at the shopping list. He’d never held her quite like this before, but it seemed to be a way a couple would stand.

“Y-Yeah.” Her voice was slightly weak as she tried to gather her bearings. Harry was wrapped around her and she could feel his warm chest leaking through the fabric in the center of her back. The other part was cool from the leather cut, his hair tickling her slightly. “A little. I’m always cold in this store.”

“M’sorry, sweetheart.” The name dropped from his lips without realizing but it didn’t sound bad. It was what naturally came out. “We can go quickly.” His knuckles brushed over the material of her silk dress, loving the feeling of the softness against his rough hand. “This alright? Touching you?” He murmured against her ear. “Just testing it out.”

Also enjoying it. Sterling would kick his ass.

“Mhm…” Bunny was starting to realize this would be a lot harder than she thought. She could feel the way her body began to buzz at his words, his lips brushing the shell of her ear making her unexpectedly weak. They had barely even started this whole couple thing and she was already prepared to fold from a simple touch.

Not many people touched her like this, so delicately as if she was about to break. She hadn’t expected Harry of all people to have such a gentle touch, but today would be full of surprises it seemed.

“We just um… just the snacks left and we can go to check out,” Y/N confirmed, collecting herself so she didn’t seem as affected by it. “Do you want any other fruit while we are here?”

She was stalling. She knew he didn’t want any more fruit, but she didn’t want to move and didn’t want him to stop touching her.

“Fruit?” He chuckled under his breath. “Mm… no. I think we’re covered.”

The cart had every berry in there, with some apples, pears, bananas, and clementines. He’d thrown those in when he remembered her preference for those over regular oranges.

“Let’s get the snacks.”

He pulled off and let her take the cart, following close behind. It was going to be a lot harder to keep himself in check when now he was not only allowed but encouraged to touch her in those soft ways. Ways he rarely ever did with a woman.

Well, fuck.

—

Unpacking the groceries was a quiet and slightly awkward debacle. She was a bit uncomfortable and he could see it, making him wonder if it had been his stunt at the store.

She’d shed the jacket she had forgotten in the store and stood in his kitchen with her skimpy little silky dress that made his cock stir up, her hair flowing behind her back.

If she was really his, he wouldn’t let her leave the area without ripping the tights and coaxing a few orgasms just with his fingers- but she wasn’t. despite how his brain and cock were trying to fight one another.

“Y’sure what happened at the store was okay?” He stood with his hands in his pockets, looking at her back as she paused from placing the snacks in the pantry. He’d try to help but he didn’t want to crowd her space. “Cause you’re being awkward as shit.”

“I am?” Y/N looked at him confused, of course, she felt the tension but she was choosing to ignore it. An attempt at tricking him to protect her truth. She felt like it would be more embarrassing to admit that she was still feeling the tightness in her stomach from how excited she was.

It was just a touch. But it was a touch from the one person she had been craving and this wasn’t the last. No, they had to do this in public all the time. Until the stalker starts making himself known.

“I would have said something if it wasn’t.” She reminded him, she wasn’t a stranger to speaking her mind. Y/N just couldn’t speak her mind about this without exposing herself and her 4-year long crush. “I promise I’m fine.”

His hands dropped from his pockets as she turned back to the pantry, avoiding his eyes again.

What was this about then?

He approached again, hands gripping her hips and turning her around so she leaned against the counter. “You’ve got to be vocal with me.” He rasped. “Need to know what shit you’re okay with and what you aren’t. Can’t have shit like this happen where you come home and act all distant when you were fine before that.” Fine was putting it lightly, but.

“For this to work, I’ve got to act like you’re my girl. And you know what that means, Bunny?” He tilted his head, stepping closer to her as she shook her head.

“Means I have to touch you. Get in your space. I’m gonna have to sweet talk you and pull your body into me.” He did just that. “M’gonna brush your hair back and get real close, and you’re going to have to act like you like it.” He crowded her back against the counter.

“M’gonna have to kiss you, too. Get handsy, once you’re comfortable with that. I need you to use your voice and tell me you can be a good fuckin’ girl and communicate this shit with me.” He spoke matter of fact, but he could see her pupils dilating.

Interesting.

“I won’t do any fucking thing you feel uncomfortable with. You’ve got to give me something here, babe. Not good with me grabbing at you, not good with kisses, let me fuckin’ know. I know you’re good at using that mouth to babble your head off, don’t go silent on me now.” He held the side of her neck.

“You get me? Tell me what shit you like. It needs to feel good to you.”

“It does.” She answered too quickly for her liking. He knew her so well, could read her like a book, he knew something was up but there was no way she was going to tell him. He’d just have to deal with her being quiet while she figured out how she was going to navigate it all.

“Can do whatever… I trust you,” Bunny couldn’t look away from him. The look in his eyes from earlier was back and she was worried if she looked away she wouldn’t see it again. “We can sell this. Trust me.”

She knew she wouldn’t have any problems with making it look believable, she was more concerned about him believing she was acting.

“I’ll follow your lead.”

It was really that simple. She wasn’t a dominant person, anyone could see that. Sure she had a mouth on her and a temper, but when it came to making moves, she only acted when she was certain she’d get a positive reaction. She didn’t handle rejection well.

“Good.”

He was still skeptical, but for a different reason. She had reacted… interestingly. It was something he would need to dissect in the coming days, but if he didn’t know better? He’d think she really enjoyed his hands on her.

She had sagged into him and kept eye contact. Despite being quiet, she had turned fluid the moment his hands touched her. Could she fake that reaction? Time would tell.

“Good girl.” His thumb gave two appreciative taps on her skin before pulling away, taking a step back. He didn’t want to, that little seed in him trying to push back against his logic, but he did it anyways.

“I know this shit is just hitting you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry this son of a bitch is still out there and not 6 feet under like he should be for making you feel unsafe.” Harry murmured into the kitchen. “But you’re safe. You’re okay. No one is getting to you in here or while I’m around.”

It was the comfort she needed. At least, he hoped. “I’m going to grab a shower. I’ll do the dishes since you’re cooking.” With that, he disappeared into his bedroom for a breather.

How was he going to do this? To touch her the way his hidden desires have been craving and then have to give that shit up? Already his hands twitched by his side to go back and grab those hips. Pull her body into his. He couldn’t, though. Especially not now.

The poor thing was in shock. She hadn’t realized how serious this shit was until now and he understood it was scary for anyone- let alone someone like her. A bit sheltered. She had been protected forever. She didn’t know the evils he did. Hopefully, he could keep it that way.

[shelfperson]

a lot of my fellow poc are understandibly anxious about the direction they’re gonna take lestat (AND SO AM I Y’AL SO LET ME KNOW IF THIS IS COPIUM) but i am feeling a little more optimistic than most for a couple reasons.

the big one i’m thinking about is also related to the “genderqueer lestat” vs “patriarchal fuckhead lestat” discourse i’ve been seeing crop up sense season 2 wrapped. and that is that the show has set up the tension between lestat’s countercultural free love exterior and his virulent misogyny, racism, and white male entitlement VERY WELL. and that entitlement is, in itself, directly tied to his upbringing as the breadwinning gnc kid of a titled family. like this is a big deal in his character, and it is in many ways the catalyst for at LEAST 50% of his and louis’ relationship problems. you can’t just erase that, and nothing rolin&co have done yet indicates to me they are bad writers even if they are perhaps white man apologists and so i live in hope.

and while the decentralizing of our black leads fucking sucks it was expected, and everything rolin jones has said in interviews indicates he wants to prop up louis’ role in future seasons as much as possible and i do believe him. louis as the deuteragonist for the modern day story line is what has been hinted at and i see no reason for it not to pan out that way. i’m also interested to see future poc main characters! louis being black armand being desi shows how willing the writers are to totally decontextualize a character’s background without REALLY changing much at their core, and i don’t think that will just stop. and i think we can all agree that this set of writers will handle any book!canon poc characters better than anne ever did 🙄

my big smoking gun on this the way they handled armand’s little flashback. like the whole “who is this gypsy” “nothing. he’s nothing.” exchange is INCREDIBLY racially charged in a way not immediately necessary to the story and it positions lestat and Good Boy Best Boy nicki as the aggressors. like why include it if not to remind we the audience that lestat has never Magically Not Racist and the racial conversation within the show isn’t going to stop once we aren’t actively in jim crow era NOLA.

actually now that i’ve brought it up i am very interested in seeing how they’ll handle armand’s status as a brown immigrant-thrice-over living impoverished in 17th century france ESPECIALLY with his crisis of faith taken into account like please rolin don’t a piece of shit can you PLEASE engage with armand possibly being muslim or are we all just gonna forget that happened you can’t fail me now after i just spent three paragraphs hyping you up

[librarygoth]

to preface I did enjoy Barbie, and I feel like I need to make that really obvious bc it’s the internet and some feminine presenting cis woman will call me a misogynist bc I’m butch lmfao, but I think the movie’s core messages are weakened by the way it handles manhood, masculinity, and queerness. Forgive the typos—I’m probably not gonna read this back:

In Barbie world, there is no room for meaningful gender variance. All gendering is idealized gender, with only feminine presenting women and masculine presenting men fitting into the paradigm—queerly gendered figures like Allen, Weird Barbie, Earring Magic Ken, and Sugar’s Daddy Ken are largely excluded from Barbie world society, both under the Barbies’ matriarchy and the Kens’ patriarchy, are regulated to the fringes and are either ridiculed or ignored. Allen, arguably the closest of these queerly gendered figures to the Ken’s idealized masculinity because his queerness is quieter but ultimately present, finds that under the Barbies’ supposedly utopian matriarchy, he is tolerated but not accepted, and that in the Kens’ patriarchy, he is fully terrified for his life.

Stereotypical Barbie’s narrative arc is a queerly gendered one, hinted at by everything from the Indigo Girls to her inability to fit in with the other Barbies. Ultimately, the movie wants us to understand that idealized expectations of gender are harmful, but simultaneously doesn’t provide any real source of liberation for its queerly gendered characters other than escaping their society for another one. The only reason the queerly gendered Weird Barbie is offered a cabinet position at the end is because she is a woman in a matriarchal society, and because the other Barbies feel guilt at not accepting her—but their feelings about her don’t change. They still think she’s not like them.

On the front of manhood and masculinity, something the movie glosses over is that before the Kens are introduced to the concept of patriarchy, they are marginalized people in the Barbie World society. They have no political, social, or economic power, and during the course of the movie it’s even revealed that they not only don’t have homes, but that the Barbies don’t even care enough to know that they don’t have homes. When the Kens discover patriarchy, their enthusiasm isn’t because they inherently think men deserve to rule the world, but because they were exposed, for the first time, to a system where they had power, and they decided they were sick of being subjected. But this point is undermined by a subtle through line of biological essentialism; early on, we see two Kens ready to fight over Stereotypical Barbie’s affections, suggesting that even here, men are inherently more prone to violence. And the society built in Barbie world is a society in which women are naturally intelligent and capable leaders, and where men are vapid and stupid. Interests and activities viewed as classically masculine are dismissed as frivolous and goofy—even ones without any moral or ethical association.

The only men who are exempt are those with queer genders, and even then, this ignores the well-documented misogyny many cis gay men express, and still positions them outside of society without any greener grass in sight. And in Barbie world, queerness for men equates femininity (just as Weird Barbie’s queerness is something more masculine than the other Barbies, even if not masculinity proper), which implied that masculinity, not manhood, is actually the crime, and that manhood and masculinity are inextricably linked (again, Weird Barbie isn’t masculine, per se. She just isn’t feminine).

So while the movie’s message seems to be rooted in the idea that idealized femininity and idealized masculinity are harmful, it seems to also believe that masculinity and manhood are bad, and femininity and womanhood are good, but only if performed in the right way. We are supposed to understand that even if Stereotypical Barbie needs to leave to truly understand herself, the other Barbies have concrete senses of self and purpose, and that even if idealized gender expectations are harmful, Barbie world is better when ruled by the femininity—even that under feminine rule, it’s a utopia. But it’s still a world where queer expressions of gender and sexuality don’t have the opportunity to exist (Barbies only date Kens after all, no matter how many young sapphics made their Barbies scissor). Weird Barbie is specifically an interesting representation of queerness—it is only masculine girls (masculine in this context just means sapphic; sapphicness is a divergence from femininity in any society that values idealized femininity above all other forms), who are believed to have destroyed their Barbies as children. It’s often a point of pride among women who “aren’t like the other girls,” or those who like to feel different. Of course the reality is different—I’m a butch who never destroyed my Barbies; I just made them help my Power Rangers save the day. But the discrepancy between Weird Barbie (who is queer coded in a way straight audiences will likely understand) and Stereotypical Barbie (who is queercoded in a way likely only more accessible to queers, but specifically lesbians, who isn’t attracted to any of the Kens who want her but can’t figure out why), is stark. Stereotypical Barbie isn’t cast out of society because she is still performing a degree of acceptable femininity, and has the privilege choosing to leave. Weird Barbie, on the other hand, is forced to the fringes of society because she is visibly queer.

It’s fascinating to me that feminine presenting cis women (or those like AFAB she/theys who may not be cis but essentially move through the world as if they are feminine presenting cis women), have universally labeled the Barbie movie “for the girls,” when in reality, it feels to me more of a movie for those who fail to perform gender correctly. But I understand why, because the movie still, loudly and clearly, sends the message that femininity is good, and masculinity is bad—and of course the people most harmed by this message, which is oh so prevalent in leftist spaces, queer spaces, feminist spaces, are trans fems (bc transmisogyny), trans mascs, butches, studs, people whose masculinity is racialized, and people who experience marginalized masculinities.

[genericpuff]

I've come to the stunning realization-

-that Lore Olympus is basically to the webtoons industry what Youtube Kids is to Youtube.

And I'm not talking about the general "Youtube Kids" label, I'm talking about those videos - Elsagate, Johny Johny, Cocomelon, Mickey Mouse tattooing Spongebob or whatever other weird example you can think of - which are explicitly designed to game the algorithm, turn views into money, and most of all, gain and keep the attention of the one demographic that won't question what they're consuming - children.

!!!!THIS POST HAS FAST PASS SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

I mean, this is undoubtedly just a tinfoil hat theory, but think about it:

Bright oversaturated colors that are attention-grabbing.

Meme faces and 'lol rAnDoM' humor even when it doesn't suit the situation at all.

Art that's all around ugly and cheap on a technical level but still stands out due to its color design and prioritized advertising.

Vapid surface level scene-to-scene writing that doesn't connect or have any meaning in any coherent way.

One-dimensional projection characters who are easy to manipulate and sway for audience sympathy or anger even if those opinions change on a dime based on actions in the moment.

Cliffhangers that are less like true cliffhangers and more like clickbait. Episodes nowadays tend to be filled with drawn out plotlines, vague hints that can be applied to just about any school of thought, and non-sequitur memes to fill the time until they can hook the reader with another cliffhanger to keep them coming back next week.

Coin prices have gone up but episode length, substance, and quality have noticeably gone down. Even if they reach the same panel count they usually have, dialogue is minimal and pacing is brutally inconsistent to the point that plot progression is often non-existent.

Banner ads that run constantly, often in the first or second (or both) slots, with push notifications and pop-up ads also becoming more frequent whether you're subscribed to the comic or not.

And underneath ALL of that, we've got blatant objectifying and sexualization of female characters regardless of context, misogyny that claims to be progressive, racist undertones, borderline fetish content that constantly toes the Terms of Services line, normalization of problematic/toxic relationship dynamics, a creator who's more interested in 'getting back' at critics than writing an actual story, and underlying messaging both from the characters' and the creator's behavior that encourage witch-hunting, rejection of accountability, and blind devotion.

All this is essentially why I've given up consuming LO entirely, beyond just on a critical level as of late. There was a time long ago when I stuck around in the hopes it was going to get better, that maybe it was just going through a "rough patch" as some stories do. After that I stuck around because I wanted to see how it could possibly pull off its ending. And then after that, I simply stuck around for the laughs and community banter. But now I don't even find it funny anymore, the punchline of how bad it is has gotten incredibly old. And at this rate, as much as we'd like to believe it's going to end in its third season as it's been mentioned in the past, we also were told it was going to end between 100-200 episodes prior to that - the way it's going, I can't even stick around "for the ending" because LO is going to be around for as long as WT tries to milk it, despite it no longer having a heartbeat.

As much as I've loved talking shit about this comic and it's undoubtedly the main reason so many of you followed me here in the first place, I'm not going to lock myself in some kind of purgatory hell just to be proven what I already know is going to happen - either the comic continues on forever, doomed to be a lifeless mascot for the zombie corporation that is WT, or RS eats shit while trying to stick the landing with a plane that has no functional parts.

There's a quote from Caddicarus that I couldn't help but think of as I typed this up, from his nearly-decade-old review of Dalmations 3 (oh god, it's nearly been a decade since that video came out what the actual fuck-)

"And this is where I officially lost all fucking care. I realized it wasn't going to end anytime soon. It's one of those rare instances where the novelty of how awful everything is actually gets really tiresome and unfunny." - Caddicarus

[dropoutconfessions]

this is directed towards the owners of the account, and sure, any "fans" too. you cannot pretend to not realize that ALL you're doing is bringing toxicity into the fandom.

it's been less than a week and your posts are already mimicking 2018/2020 fandom misogyny.

you're giving hate a platform. that's all you're doing. it's not fun, it's not interesting.

that in addition to how clueless you are about slurs and general etiquette and respect on the site, maybe should be a hint that you shouldn't be running this.

You can go ahead believe that I am clueless about slurs, but personally, as someone who's very identity gets called a slur all the fucking time, I get pretty annoyed when someone makes the call that something is a slur when it doesn't apply to them. Whenever something annoys me, I tend not to do it to others, but that's just me.

I may be a minority on a couple different fronts, but unless I was suddenly an expert in Native Canadian or Alaskan culture and general opinions of the term, I'm not making that call, and in my opinion, neither should anyone else who isn't either well informed or affected personally by that specific term. I know how etiquette on this site works. I've also been on this site, for long enough, to have formed my own opinions on how well this site practices etiquette. (That means I've watched enough people get run off this site to know this site kinda doesn't practice etiquette). I have explained, in my pinned post, exactly why I choose to ignore the rules people have decided are the standard, because they do not work for spoiler tagging, and we are discussing a media partially locked behind a pay wall. There are dropout fans, who can't watch every season of dimension 20, because they watch through YouTube and/or Spotify. I am going to continue using the primary tags as well as the anti tags for tagging purposes, because I do not want to be the reason someone learns about a character death, every time someone wants to talk about how they kinda didn't like a character who may or may not be a backup character wink wink to those of you who know which season i am referring to I fully gave everyone a new tag (#negative dropout confession), that I retroactively went back and applied to all the posts I believed it fit, so that you could block posts that were negative. Now I'm not perfect, and am actually pretty shitty at social queues and kinda forgetful, so if you find a post you think is negative in a way that isn't "i kinda would have preferred this, but i loved the season" let me know, i will retag it as such. I'm only human and just like everyone else, not above being checked on my shit. If that's still not enough, it's a 3 click process to block this blog entirely. We here at dropoutconfessions will be sad to see you go, but I'll still understand. A place of anonymity, to freely share how you feel, is going to attract people who have feelings that usual get them hatred. And yes, some people misuse it. Typically, I do one of 2 things when that happens.

If it's a misunderstanding of the media, I'll add corrections to to the response to clarify, anything I miss, 3-5 people will probably take care of within an hour of the post going up, just check the replies

If it's something truly awful to say, I'll block the asker and delete the ask. Something I've had to do about half a dozen times already.

I have, multiple posts, debating those very posts you are referring to I have, multiple people, defending those characters, in the replies and reblogs of those posts you're referring to I have, multiple posts, in queue (as of me writing this reply) because i don't like flooding people's blogs, that are saying the exact same thing, without calling me toxic and clueless I understand you don't like the hatred, I don't like it either. But I do believe everyone deserves a platform if they'll be civil about it, and they give their opponents an opportunity to call their take absolute dogwater, once again, check the replies, some of these asks get flamed almost immediately. And no. I don't think all I do is bring toxicity to the fandom. People use this as an outlet for how they feel about just, the story. There's like, multiple posts about how people are a bit overbearing expecting perfection from the cast and how certain seasons deserve more love and how amazing some of the other shows are and how amazing some of the cast members are. It's easy to see the negativity, but it's not all there is. And trust me I'm not immune to that either, it's exhausting sometimes. I have gotten more asks about how "obsessed everyone is with Brennan Lee Mulligan" than I ever have about Brennan in a context outside of d20, the show that he runs. Tunnel vision is a bitch sometimes. And at the end of the day, if you think I'm doing a bad job at this, you can make your own confessions blog. This blog exists cause I got bored of my statistics homework, and realized there wasn't a confessions blog. You can too, and if everyone prefers yours, they can use yours, I truly do not mind. This blog is just something I feel like needs to exist, and since no one else was actively doing it (as far as I could tell, no one has told me the contrary). It's really just something to do with my hands so I can focus on dnd games and my video calls with my gf. That's it. If you have any specific suggestions on how I can improve, I'm open to listening to them, as I have proved in the past, but beyond sharing how I feel and addressing how you feel, I don't really know what to say or do. Thank you for telling me how you feel about this blog, this fandom, and Dropout, a media company we love. That's all I could ever want from an ask on this blog.

[horizon-verizon]

Final Words (For Today or June 1) abt Rhaenyra's writing in F&B

A)

Yesterday recently answered two asks about Rhaenyra's writing HERE and HERE.

It's agreed that a woman putting the same position as a man is not necessarily going to solve misogyny realm-wide/world-wide, right?

...But it is necessary to support a woman facing patriarchal, mobilized violence (the reason to support Rhaenyra as the story is told) when it is going against a woman trying to gain power in her own right as a Queen regnant. A woman who is trying for power for herself, thus is becoming an actor (even with GRRM not really enacting that to the level/proof he should have to make this apparent or to present that conflict of acing woman vs reacting narrative to try to re-objectify her as "unnatural") rather than stay as the object of other men's political self interests. Yes, many men are more narratively active than her during the war--doesn't mean that the story isn't also trying to say she was her own person and that the she was trying to be more than what her society disallowed women to be.

None of what I'm saying means that Rhaenyra should have given anyone a moral or "more real" reason why she should be queen/ruler bc the whole thing is that these in-wrold/real world men don't care abt her showing herself to be a good person or a smart person. They only care that she was a woman who wanted to take claim for herself and not for another man like a man would and is given the asocial graces to do. Rhaenyra is subject, not the object they want her to be.

In lieu of PhoenixAshes/oxymalek's recent video [for how people wrote about Mary I v Elizabeth I and how Elizabeth created a sexless authority for herself, go to 25:50], AND my own many, many posts about why people should still "support" Rhaenyra. Starting from HERE or HERE.

[Again, this is before we talk abt Nettles, bc Nettles is the very last plot point of this story. IF we take Septon Eustace at his word abt how Rhaenyra goes after Nettles specifically in the misogynoirist way {I have doubts bc he talks abt Mysaria and how she convinced Rhaenyra, which was all very suspect and could be another part of his trend of distorting facts...I'm talking about him being a septon and hating "witches"}, THEN Rhaenyra deserves an "end" for that, but not the specific, sexist, femicidal end she actually got! If for nothing else, bc the patriarchal ethical precedent it sets for women; we have to realize that she wasn't murdered bc Aegon was exacting justice for Nettles or any underclass but bec she dared to "steal" what he thought was his by his maleness---thus every women, regardless of her values or abilities , is subject to such estimation and violence. Even within their own classes.]

GRRM is at fault for not allowing Rhaenyra to do else with her dragons or showing hints of her doing stuff "behind the scenes" that made great impact AND doing this while subjecting her to incessant, successive violence without those things in between at the very least BECAUSE she had less limiting circumstances to be "distant" or less active during the war than her inspiration Empress Matilda had in her own war for the English throne.

Ozymalek makes a point to say that:

Empress Matilda was ultimately punished for 2 things:

“exercising political power in her own name”, making her “too masculine in the eyes of many”

the “following” inability to “wield unquestioned political power in the same manner as her male counterparts” thus “making her too feminine in the eyes of many”

The writers and those detractors of Matilda argued toward these two to strengthen the masculine and martial appeal of Stephen.

Which is exactly what Rhaenyra, by the writers, is going through:

having to delegate her armies to Robert of Gloucester OR actively forbidden from making her own armies

Gyldayn and some sources dislike her an berate her for not participating in the war the same exact way a man can; Corlys even says so out of grief after Rhaneys dies. At the same time, they do not ike that she even decided to oppose Aegon at all to reclaim the throne. But at this time, she was still recovering from her miscarriage/stillbirth labors with Visenya, as the book states:

("The Red Dragon and the Gold")

The greens so debilitated her ability to actually feed/protect the people of King's Landing as the war raged on by stealing the entire treasury.

BUT since:

George doesn't address how Rhaenyra tried or didn't try to use Corlys' wealth.

Matilda didn't have a dragon, when she was miles away from England as her half brother Robert of Glouscester was leading armies in her name before her husband George Plantagenet, did.

The men around Rhaenrya (Daemon, Jacaerys, and Corlys) all manage to be active/movers of the war while having lost loved ones (Lucerys & Rhaenys).

Rhaenyra's distance from the war looks like she is just totally lost to her own grief and has no sort of mental resilience...which contradicts how she managed to resist against Alicent (dress) for years and decided to go to war in the first place.

Three different anons have said to me:

Pathologizing motherhood in particular, esp. in relation to women who are also in politics while being mothers. Fathers are never “too mad with grief” to rule competently or make good decisions; only mothers are. .......... Daemon and Corlys are presented as masterful at both politics and military strategy, even while besieged by grief and loss, while Rhaenyra is automatically assigned the trope of hysterical mother unable to make rational or good decisions as a ruler because she’s just too steeped in mourning and later too emotionally volatile to make the right decisions. Which is funny considering that it was Daemon who was presented as emotionally volatile for the bulk of his life (before he married Laena and had his daughters, at least). .......... There’s no sense of balance to her, she does basically nothing but the wrong political moves, when she’s supposed to be the protagonist of this story. .......... Rhaenyra’s seclusion and grief over Luke’s death and her absence from her own war council is blamed for Rhaenys flying to Rook’s Nest alone and getting killed. The narrative even accentuates how detrimental Rhaenyra’s absence might have been to her own war efforts in having Corlys blame her for Rhaenys’ death, and again in having Jace recruit dragonseeds to increase the Blacks’s draconic power at a time when one of their dragonriders is indisposed. I don’t get why Martin uses a mother’s grief so often as a convenient plot device to force passivity, silence and absence on his female characters to fit the requirements of the plot, why it’s always the women who break down, rend their garments and retreat from public life, whereas men react to similar tragedies with anger, pursuit of vengeance and singular political focus.

I maintain that Corlys and the narrative blaming her for not participating enough was actually just part of the sexism (miscarriage and Matilda, again).

But that comes in more for how GRRM undermines his own writing and falls back to gender stereotypes as he is trying to make the point about mobilized gender violence: he builds up a character and then makes her comparatively inactive and seemingly mentally incompetent to her male counterparts....

GRRM could have had Rhaenyra come up with the Dragonseed idea as well as and Jace would go to Cregan Stark and Lady Jeyne to convince them both to fight for his mother and they'd both be hailed. He'd still be using diplomacy on his mother's behalf while Rhaenyra supply them all with more riders. And the narrative of F&B/Gyldayn will praise Jace while giving no praise to Rhaenyra or trying to say that Rhaenrya "should have seen how thjis plan opened her up to betrayal" and try to diminsh this accomplishement. As would be fair, on GRRM's part while highlighting how the book is trying its best to denigrate Rhaenyra.

(There's also the thing where Rhaenyra is killed with her son watching while Matilda lived to see her son crowned.)

It seems Martin just gave Rhaenyra less reason to be as "inactive" as Matilda was. Matilda was in a whole other country and had to depend on Robert of Gloucester to lead her cause on English ground.

Rhaenyra's absence from the war proceedings despite being much closer to the site of the war in Westeros than Matilda was to the war in England being waged in her name could be "explained" by the sources and writers losing reports of her doing things, or they deliberately left them out, or they were done behind closed doors and people refused to allow Rhaenyra to participate...but that sounds like how some articles like this one saying that the maesters/writers/sources could have erased the event of Rhaenys killing tons of people in her escape from the Dragonpit in episode 9 bc the later monarchs didn't want to leave a bad impression on the monarchy . Ignoring how:

Rhaenys was never at the Red Keep in the orig canon

how this is an event that would definitely be recorded if not to denigrate Rhaenyra and the blacks

we still have record of how Aemond killed hundreds of Riverland people and the entire House of Strong (the males at least)

So yes that was bk!Rhaenyra's problem and F&B is writing of her...I still maintain that GRRM had the to make Rhaenyra more active so that some achievements so that Gyldayn and his sources--though obviously green leaning AND anti-female ruler--were forced to include events that several witnesses witnessed and testified. One would work. If she's going to fight, let her fight even if she is not directly in battle as a swordsperson.

Yes, losing a child is different and may seem to justify her distance from the war for her, but part of it that can't be ignored is how:

in its negligence of Rhaenrya in doig as i suggested she could have done at least once, the story GRRM (not Gyldayn!) writes also resupports that men are more equipped to address militaristic catastrophes, solidifying and ignoring how much of that ignores how it encourages men to put aside their emotions for these activities (war stuff) or really anything to do with power-grabbing

historically, women and all manner of Queens have continued to participate or lead wars while their kids or harmed/die or they utilized their kids for war because they had to (Olga of Kiev, who some sources say she had her child-official ruling son declare war by throwing a spear into the ground)

Women like Bergljot Håkonsdatter --- "raised an army to kill a king for murdering her spouse and son -- takes the king's estate, but by then the king had managed to escape her", also "encouraged" "peasants to fight against that king [Google search]

B)

HOWEVER, high-classed women are not shielded from sexist violence. And there is no concept for a republic or a democracy anywhere in Planetos.

There is no material basis for the abolition of monarchy or oligarchy--not for the Starks, Jon Snow, the Lannisters, the Free Cities, etc.

What would happen if Robb Stark, Ned Stark, a Tully, any male lord who took the throne, abdicated the next day, point blank declared to remove every single privilege the nobles had? So why this standard for Rhaenyra?

It's not about supporting Rhaenyra bc you think she's a great ruler, but about calling out & condemning the mobilized patriarchal violence against her--a woman trying to claim power in her own right, not a man's. Which is what the Dance is about!

Rhaenyra--however incompetent GRRM makes her, which is on him--still does not deserve to face the mobilized patriarchal violence suffered, of which the usurpation lead to (as usurpations lead to murdering people most often and Aegon was determined to kill her).

Therefore the abuse clip HotD put out as a featurette AND the show writers justifying her dilution of character from her book self--who never actually relinquished her rights (even as she wasn't directly involved in that war as she could have been)--to the reluctant show!Rhaenyra is an even more sexist rewriting of Rhaenyra than the orig!canon.

Even if she begins to fight/fly around on Syrax burning people in the war in the 2nd season. That's just HotD's way to re-establish the idea that Rhaenrya needs to be a warrior to be a "true" leader and giving themselves license to have Daemon abuse her privately. When we have a lot of reason to believe that bk!Daemon never DVed her, making Rhaenyra subject to DV anyway and then not having her subject show!Daemon to punishment as is her right as his superior (Daemon may be inspiring, but he didn't have the scale of independent forces that Georffrey of Anjou--Matilda's husband--had) exposes her to even more patriarchal violence. She has also less expression of power than what GRRM denies her in canon!

So, yes, supporting Rhaenyra--book or show and esp against someone like Aegon--is always the better choice. It's why I am not "neutral". She gives the opportunity for us to expose the slander used against her from the writers & fans. Like ozymalek said, It's not like fans cared about the smallfolk when the Lannisters or Starks were duking it out for power before Robb died.

It is the mere existence of a precedent of a female ruler in a feudal system where precedents are often the way to make great changes--progress or "severe regress"-- (even when she is mediocre or a genuinely bad ruler) was very important. After the Dance, women in the Targ monarchy had less power & ability to defend themselves until we have Rhaella, Dany's mother. Abused and raped several times with no recourse at all.

Making as if Rhaenyra should have been a "progressive" or feminist and perfectly "moral" woman [ozymalek in video, but I also argued this several times!]:

diminish the realism of the story and rob her of realistic flaws

anachronistic (not of the time)

place conditions not expected of other characters vying for power/the throne

To challenge the audience with what biases they have AND ask who they think deserves sympathy. And it's basically more than just about her.

So don't be this person:

Excerpt of anon's ask:

If Rhaenyra wasn’t a Targaryen, people would have no problem calling her incompetent, stupid, paranoid, hating her for being spoiled, feminine and refined, and shipping Daemon with GNC Nettles, a dark-skinned, foul-mouthed, filthy, and clever bastard peasant girl who managed to tame a dragon and rode into battle (unlike Rhaenyra). Rhaenyra was foolish and cruel when it came to her ruling decisions. Instead of sending Joffrey into the field, utilizing his young dragon’s quick speed for reconnaissance against the fled Hightower-Targaryens (or even sending Addam Velaryon to do so and leaving Joffrey as the rider in the Dragonpit), Rhaenyra instead planned a lavish induction ceremony to name him Prince of Dragonstone (using the city’s precious resources strained by war and winter for a party, exactly like Sansa in TWOW, and flaunting her obviously bastard son as the center of it).

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading roundup: February 2024

I literally completely forgot I needed to do this oopsie poopsie

WHAT DID I READ IN FEBRUARY!!! LET'S TALK ABOUT IT!!!!

Rouge (Mona Awad, 2023) - listen. there are some very cool ideas in this book, and it's definitely big creepy in places. some of the childhood flashbacks, in particular, had me shrieking with pure dread. but ultimately my issue with this book is the same as my issue with Awad's most well-known novel, Bunny: I would just... kind of like to understand what's going on? like even a little bit? at literally any time? you don't need to explain everything, but man, give me something. vibes alone do not make a meal, and I left this book not really feeling fed.

Our Share of Night (Mariana Enríquez, trans. Megan McDowell 2023) - god, this book makes you WORK FOR IT, but I'm glad I stuck it out. Enríquez has written a fucking doorstopper of intergenerational drama, about an Argentinian family deeply embroiled in a cult that worships something otherworldly and... hungry. perpetually sickly Juan is the Order's prized prophet, but after his wife's death is orchestrated by her own mother he becomes determined to get their young son, Gaspar, away from the Order's control by any means necessary. a wrenching read that swings through every kind of horror, swinging from the supernatural to Argentina's military dictatorship in the 70s to the AIDS epidemic in the 80s and 90s to an absolutely brutal ending.

Red String Theory (Lauren Kung Jessen, 2024) - some of you may recall that Lauren Kung Jessen wrote Lunar Love, one of my favorite romance novels of last year thanks to a zodiac-obsessed protagonist who's (unintentionally) giving major Rebecca Bunch pre-diagnosis in Crazy Ex-Girlfriend vibes. Red String Theory also has a female lead obsessed with mythological matchmaking, so I was really hoping for another unhinged queen, but please don't make my mistake: everyone in this book is devastatingly hinged, and the only real conflict is two characters who like each other from the jump repeatedly coming up with unsatisfying excuses for why they can't date each other. my least favorite was "we'll only in the same city for A YEAR," which is absolutely hogshit wild. "only a year." get out of here. I hate you guys.

Drinking from Graveyard Wells (Yvette Lisa Ndlovu, 2023) - a tiny short story debut by Ndlovu, a Zimbabwean sarungano. one of my very favorite genre of short story collections is "women having a bad time taken up to 11," and god does this deliver. Ndlovu writes about the many indignities heaped upon Zimbabwean women at home and abroad, weaving together tight stories about misogyny, war, poverty, and immigration with restless spirits, bored gods, ignored wise women, and unsatisfactory afterlives. there's a story about a near future in which diamond miners are purposefully set up and sacrificed to an angry underground god to create more diamonds that was so fucking clever, and the final story - the titular Drinking from Graveyard Wells - was just... an absolutely perfect short story. suspenseful and eerie and just enough of a hint of explanation to really chill you. chef's kiss.

It Happened One Summer (Tessa Bailey, 2021) - shout out to all of my patreon supporters who voted to make me read another Tessa Bailey book; you truly wish darkness and despair upon me. here's the insane thing about this book: if you just completely ignore the actual central romance, it's just a sweet book about an infinitely likeable young woman unplugging from her shallow socialite life and finding a new niche reviving her deceased father's bar in a tiny fishing town in Washington. it's like, you know, the plot of a pretty okay disney channel original movie? it's no Minute Men or High School Musical, but it's cute. it's a solid Dairy Girls or Princess Protection Program. but then there's the love interest, who's just a fucking tool all the way down. reader, I kept wishing he would get swept over the rigging of his own crab boat and die ingloriously at sea. this guy sucks so bad. also the sex scenes were identical to the ones in Unfortunately Yours and they did not taste any better reheated. fascinating treatise on cishetero gender norms, rancid romance. I wrote a whole thing about it on my patreon if you're into that kind of nastiness.