#hint: im not a therapist
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Crowley needs a hot chocolate, a good shag, and a therapy session. I am willing to provide two of these services.
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I feel bad for neglecting Hazel so much, I do have many thoughts about her.. and also a mermaid au that im probably not going to do anything with
#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#hazel wells#fop hazel#fop dev#dev dimmadome#art#digital art#doodles#I wish Hazels parents were more flawed tbh...#Like I get why they wanted to have them be good rep so that young people could know what a good family is supposed to look like#but it felt like every time there was an opportunity to have them do something genuinely flawed-#they would perfectly sidestep it before it even became a problem#I really enjoyed the first episode because it showed a hint of a very unique emotional issue Hazel had related to having a therapist mother#The idea that she has to be mature all the time#constantly living around therapy speak makes her feel like she isnt allowed room to breathe#Feeling unable to express her emotions without someone there giving advice that she isnt ready for yet#just small things!#She feels so pressured to be emotionally mature all the time BECAUSE she gets praised for it#maybe im projecting everyone always tell me I was so mature for my age...#But like I really really wanted to see that from her!!#And then after that episode it doesnt even come up again#The only other episode that features the moms job as a conflict is the one where she wants to spend more time with her#which is a fine conflict I guess but it still ends with her saying all the perfect things#I wanted Markus to be more of a genuine threat too. even if he didnt actually do anything having him be more looming would have been nice#I feel like they mostly forget hes a para scientist most of the time idk.#I just felt like his interactions could have been more unique#Maybe he will be in future seasons idk
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Hey Queenie, I wanted to leave another comment on your page again (this probably won’t the last hehehe I hope you don’t mind!) because I completely forgot to mention that in your The Almosts series, I loved the argument scene with Chris and Josh in their dorm room when Josh drops out of his course - it shows the true skill of a writer because I don’t think any cutscene of a video game or a TV show or a movie of this scene could ever capture what you wrote. I loved that there was so much angst and tension and you write angst so well. When I read that I was literally sitting at the edge of my seat because the scene was so tense and I was so excited to see how the rest of the scene would pan out. Even before the events of the main game, I loved how all of the characters were so fleshed out and I was going to say you made them three dimensional interesting characters, but I think you went beyond the three dimensions hahahaha! I love how you made all the characters grey characters, like you wrote Ashley as feeling very guilty for her actions but also so angry at Josh for acting this way, I thought that was so interesting! And I found myself legitimately feeling scared at times based on the way Josh was acting, you captured grief spectacularly! You wrote Josh so realistically in terms of his mental health - at times he would be goofing off and having a blast with the others, but then he would get so angry at times and try to lash out at his friends and sort of provoke them and deliberately try to make them angry? You portray mental health so realistically, and you show the ugly sides of it and I think that is so interesting, you even gave Josh a rationale for designing his elaborate revenge scheme but you also showed us how it did not make sense at the same time. I loved how you seamlessly added traces of Josh’s mental health throughout the game, and you could really see the way his relationship had become strained with the others. I can tell you really analysed and researched the game and wrote accordingly to that even the way you wrote the others was so spot on like them being conflicted and not knowing whether to feel upset with the way Josh was acting due to his grief. I loved the therapist analogy with the princess, prince, father and the bull, that was so smart, my jaw literally dropped because that was such a smart literary device (maybe because I’m a psychology major but I loved that)! Thank you again for writing this I’m definitely going to reread this book ❤️❤️
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oh man, i don't even know what to say - you've got me all emotional over here!!!!!!!
i'll let you in on a (not-so-secret) secret: i, too, was a psych major once...and then a straight-up psychologist for a minute afterwards, so the desire to DIG DEEP into characters is just sort of a curse i live with. every day. constantly. all the time. hheheheheheheheh
honestly, when i set out to write t(a), wanting to portray josh's side of the story in a more realistic way was at the tip, tip, tippy-top of my list of things i wanted to accomplish. i think a lot of people, myself included, who played the game were left with sort of a bad taste in our mouths regarding how his whole deal was handled, so i really tried to walk the tightrope between "josh washington deserved better" and "this was always going to be a fucking tragedy and things were always going to hurt."
thank you so much for your KIND AND WONDERFUL words, and thank you too for taking the time to read my stuff!!! i am genuinely teary-eyed rn and i've only just finished breakfast, so i can only IMAGINE what the rest of the day will be like, hahaha!!
#galaxyrainbowcat#asks#the almosts#mannnn im just gonna lie down and make high pitched keening noises for a while hehehehehehe#and omg i WISH i could claim the bull/princess/prince/king game for myself but alas#it was a little puzzle in silent hill: shattered memories that i plucked for my own use sdklfjsklf early on when i was writing t(a)#and i mean EARLY ON!!!! i had this dumb little idea that i'd drop hints alan was friends w the therapist IN the silent hill games skldfjks#that fell by the wayside but the device remained. :P there's actually a pretty funny game grumps clip out there somewhere where they play i#if i remember correctly#GOD it's been a million years since ive watched a game grump askdljflaksdjfkasjdf#ANYWAY. THIS MADE ME SMILE VERY MUCH. thank you again 🥹
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#Not to be insane actually like I really wish someone actually showing any interest in me didn't always revolt me to the point of nausea#hmm probably something to twll my therapist#except im even too embarrassed to tell my therapist anything about that aspect of my life#cus my dating history is genuinely so deplorable and like#i think due to stuff ive experienced with certain perpetrators of things#i will not ever be able to be close to someone in that way#not saying that if youve gone through that you cant have a meaningful fulfilling relationship#just saying it doesnt seem to be in the cards for me like im just nott ok with it#and i actually really hate who i become at the first hint of discordance#ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#it's better to avoid this stuff at all costs#i need to leave i need to get out#and not waste anybody's time
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Welcome to day one of how many times can my mother tear me down and destroy my confidence in one go. How many days will this go on? Im not sure! Tune in next time for a brand new episode of Taking Advantage Of My Kids Rejection Sensitivity, youre watching the disney channel.
#Sometimes I really do just honestly kind of hate her. I know it's a horrible thing to say about one's parents who care for them but it's#true. With the way that she treats me and criticises me and takes every advantage of a chance to tear me down it just really hurts all the#time. I can't criticise her because she ll fly off the handle at me and say how many things she does for me that i dont apreciate enough#But for her she can say as many times as she wants that she doesn't like my hair and she doesn't like the way I dress and she doesn't like#This the way I look and she doesn't like the way I stand and she doesn't like the things I say and she doesn't like my beliefs#She can say she doesn't like my tone of voice and that she doesn't like the way i stress out about things and im not allowed to say#A negative word about her in edgeways when she's allowed to tear me down on a constant basis and make me hate myself. As someone who really#Struggles with a lot of self loathing problems and self hatred she really does just rip into me with no restraint constantly. She knows#That I suffer with some serious rejection sensitive dysphoria that I am trying to get therapist help for and she still has no restraint#When it comes to criticising me and everything I am and everything I like. And she has the goal to do this thing where she is kind of peer#Pressures me into agreeing with the things that she says which in turn just makes me consolidate those horrible beliefs about myself in my#own head. If I don't agree with her criticism of me I can't just say so I have to not along with her and affirm to myself that those#Things are true. That I don't like my own hair that I don't like my face and my makeup and my clothes. That my preferences are wrong and#That I dress too androgynously. That I could never experiment with things like pronouns or gender and that I have to agree with societally#Homophobic undertoned things that she says because I can't bare to have her criticise me again and again and again for critisising her.#I can't do this anymore it makes me dread every time she comes into my room to talk to me about some new thing she doesn't like about me. I#And constantly stressing about how much people dislike me and how annoying I am#And the fact that I'm literally hiding the things that I want to wear from her so i can put them on when i get away from her and yet she#she will still get upset if I criticise her for making me literally hate myself on a regular basis. she wont beleive me and she'll be#Confused if I have a belief that doesn't match hers and she'll get so excited when I even possibly hint at doing something to my appearance#that she likes and knows I don't. I worry wake for comic corner she wouldn't shut up about how much my hair looks really good in a style i#dont want to cut it. If I dress in a way that's openly queer she ll act like I'm going to get#and i quote “the wrong kind of attention” Because she thinks that me even possibly being misgendered because of my clothing is a#disgusting crime and that I should be the perfect Barbie doll pink pretty princess she always wanted her children to be. She wants me to be#Someone that I can't be comfortably and she's essentially forcing me to fit this mould of her preferred child. Which obviously makes me#Despise who I am and hate my own interests and style. And as horrible and hurtful as it is to say this#I can't wait to get away from her.#sigh#vent#harsh morning
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hi update as of an hour ago i have a THERAPIST!!! an actual licensed therapist!!!! we have our first session on monday 😭💗
#purrs#she’s super nice and like.. Grounded in a way i wasn’t expecting from the website lol but i rly can’t wait for our first session 🥹💕 im a#little nervous bc i was trying to shop around for therapists and do consultation calls w a bunch of them and she’s the first one i reached#out to bc i just liked her vibe a lot (and her practice’s name is super cute omg.. hint -> 🍇) but the other counselors i reached out to#turned me down bc of my schedule not being during regular work hours and meanwhile she was like yeah my hours are flexible specifically to#accommodate ppl in ur situation! which was so good to hear 😭 and she kinda automatically assumed we’re working together from the call but i#not mad abt it at all and i went with it. im rly hopeful abt it and kinda nervous but she said my issues are like a perfect fit for her#and that just in hearing me talk she can tell how thoughtful / introspective / whatever i am abt it and that her approach is to balance the#introspection and the emotion.. and SHE interpreted (CORRECTLY! and i forgot to even name it!) that constantly hoppping between clinical#interns waa probably very disruptive and plays into all my stress abt transitions and i was like YES thank you 😭 and she said she’s#committed to like long stable rs with clients so they can rly heal and get all the benefits out of it. and she also gave this whole big#speech abt how she doesn’t want $ to be a barrier to access for healthcare and i was like patrick voice i love you. lolllll 🥹 im excitedddd#i want her to send the intake forms RIGHT now i can’t wait to fill them out! hehe :’~D
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me, telling a friend a story where i massively overestimated the consequences and in the end it turned out fine: i think i might be a very anxious person
my friend, whomst has known me for +10years: *mocking spongebob meme* whO WoULd hAVe GUeSsed, rEAllY, u THiNk Soo??¿ ?
me: 👁️👄👁️
#no seriously they were adorable abt it#but like i thought i was chill bah nah im not#wish they would have given me hints before like told me#but yeah#stuff i'll have to talk about with ny therapist#platypustalks#if u see this friend cuz sometimes u lurk on my tumblr well thanks for being there
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idk why it's so difficult for me to accept romantic affection? why is my brain always trying to convince me that it's a farce, that im being clowned, that secretly they don't like me etc etc. and my brain will take one thing they said/did not say and make it into the worse thing ever? do any of y'all deal with this? how do you cope with it because this shit is exhausting
#like yesterdya the dude im talking to was like im visiting home (which is a different country)#and my brain took that as him breaking up with me#and i started mentally trying to prepare for a break up and shit and trying to convince myslef that i will be okay#and like... he didnt mention or hint at anything about leaving me#so tell me yall what the fuck os wrong with me#this is probably a question fpr a therapist but i got too many other medical expenses rn to go to therapy
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I wish I had said something to my brother but I spent that entire conversation trying not to cry
#he was basically apologizing for the alcoholism and that he isnt asking for forgiveness but he'd like to have a relationship with me#and i WISH i said that i cant trust a fucking word that comes out of his fucking mouth but i physically could not say anything#im so pissed at myself but i hope the silence was enough for him to get the hint that i wasnt interested#he did ask for a hug and i did give him one but then i just turned around and left i didnt give him time to say something else#fuck im so disappointed in myself my therapist and i talked about it too to prepare and i just couldnt fucking do it
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ordinarily
synopsis: you’re having a few issues with your sex life so you decide to start seeing a sex therapist with your boyfriend
warnings: reader receiving, cheating, lots of sex talk bcs this entire fic is literally set around sex, fingering, clitoral stimulus, vibrators, dildos + strap on, sana watches reader masturbate
w/c: 7.8k
a/n: if u didn't know im a psych student and this idea came to me at 3am while cramming sexual dysfunctions for my finals and i ltr wrote this in a few hours bcs i was OBSESSED - that being said this is all still fictional bcs... let's be honest i js wanted to have sex with dr sana but some of the facts are still real! the treatment however... not so real LMAO
❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
“ms. l/n?”
“yes!” you scramble upwards at the sound of your name, pulling your boyfriend up with you and walking briskly towards the woman who’s called you. she offers a kind smile, gesturing for you to follow her.
“is it alright if i bring my boyfriend along?”
she nods, “yes that’s fine. it’s actually customary that both partners are here for appointments like these.”
she leads you towards her office, a clean, organised room with a small couch next to the doctor’s table and chair, and what looks like an upgraded version of a classic examination table.
she seats you both and rolls her chair forward so she’s facing the both of you when she talks. “so how can i help you today ms. l/n?” her eyes are kind, a hint of a smile on her lips.
“u-um just y/n is fine dr. …” you glance to her badge, “minatozaki.”
“alright y/n. sana is fine for me too then.” she smiles.
“r-right sana. so we’ve just been having some trouble with our- um- sex life recently and i think it’s mainly my fault.”
she frowns a little, picking up a notepad on her table to jot down some things, “why would you think that?”
“um well- i- i haven’t um- i’ve never had a penis in me before. my previous male partners would only ever use their hands or mouth but because we were getting a little more serious than that, i wanted to let ben-“ you glance at your boyfriend who looks a little uncomfortable, shifting around in his seat a little, “be the first and we’ve tried for a while now but it’s always just too painful? and i know everyone says the pain passes and whatever but it never seems to pass for me…” you blush, getting progressively embarrassed as you go on.
"i see. do you mind if i ask you a few questions about your sex life?"
you nod, feeling intimidated by the things she's jotting down into her notepad.
"how long has this been going on?"
"umm- i'd say we've tried to have penetrative sex for about 2 months now?"
"have you ever experienced anything like this before?"
"no."
"do you have any history of previous mental health problems?"
"not really, no."
"when you attempt to have sex, do you engage in foreplay?"
"u-um... yes."
"and are you able to secrete natural lubricant from that?"
ben lets out an undignifed snort. you elbow him, face burning red when sana looks up from her notepad, narrowing her eyes at ben who shrinks in his seat, covering his mouth.
"u-um yes i think so."
"ben? is this true?" sana's eyes are locked on ben.
"sorry doc are you asking me if my girlfriend gets wet?"
"for lack of better words yes."
"well yes she gets plenty wet. i always make sure she's turned on before i go in. if you’re asking about if i'm good at sex then yes. i am. plenty of girls in the past have cum because of me."
"i didn't ask that but thank you for your contribution." sana says a little sarcastically, looking back towards you and then down to her notepad. you elbow ben again in response who glances at you slightly annoyed, the tips of his ears red.
"what sorts of foreplay activity do you engage in, does it arouse you, and on average how long would you say your foreplay would go on for?"
"i- um- i-"
"this is a safe space. everything i'm asking is purely for diagnosis reasons, there's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about, i deal with lots of clients everyday who come in and have talked about much more bizarre things and none of them are nearly as attractive as you are which makes it a lot worse when someone comes in here claiming they have sexual proclivities towards aliens or otherworldly beings."
you blush, the throwaway compliment in there didn't fly past you. "do people really ask about that?"
sana chuckles a little, "oh you'd be surprised the things people come in here about."
you laugh a little in response as well, feeling more comfortable around the doctor, "um well i guess we do all the normal stuff. kissing, whatever, um it usually lasts about... 10 minutes?" you turn to ben who shakes his head a little so you correct yourself, "20 minutes maybe. and um yeah i guess it does arouse me."
sana hums, making a few more notes, "are your nipples sensitive? your breasts? does he play with them? what about your clitoris?"
"i- um- yes... to all of those."
"have you ever orgasmed before?"
"i- yes."
she senses the hesitation in your voice, looking up curiously, "have you orgasmed during sexual relations with ben?"
you shuffle in your seat a little uncomfortably. ben looks at you expectedly, but you can't bring yourself to meet his eyes.
"yes. yes she has." ben replies for you instead when he realises you're not responding.
sana's eyes cut to his with a scowl forming on her face, "did you know only 64.4% of women are able to reach their orgasm during sex? and that number is even lower when the sex is just penetrative? in comparison, 91.3% of men reach their orgasm, in fact, sexual dysfunction in men is actually more common when men orgasm too fast."
ben raises an eyebrow defiantly, "your point doc?"
"that it's normal for women not to reach orgasm. and normal for them to fake it when their boyfriends are pretentious assholes that think they have the best game in the world but in reality, have inflated egos that would easily be shattered if he found out he wasn't as good as he thought he was. most of these women care too much about hurting their partner's feelings than to tell the truth."
ben leans forward aggressively, ignoring your protests for him to sit back down, "i don't know what kinda whack patients you got in here doc but i'm not one of them. i don't need anyone to worry about my feelings like you women do."
sana rolls her eyes, not backing down from his intimidation, "do you have any problems with sexual activity? come too fast? not able to get it up? not able to come?"
ben sputters, "w-what?! who do you think i am?!"
"it's a yes or no question."
"no! i don't have any of those problems! i told you i'm not one of your weird patients!"
"alright that's all we'll be needing from you today. i think this session will be much more productive for y/n if you leave the room. so if you'd please-" she stands up and opens the door, indicating for him to leave.
"what? you can't just kick me out! this is my girlfriend! i'm just as involved in this as she is!"
"actually, since you haven't admitted to having any problems with sex, and you've both said that foreplay and arousal is adequate, there's nothing more that involves you. so yes, i can kick you out."
ben looks back at you, his face red, but you push him forward, "just go ben don't make a scene. i'll see you outside." he frowns, sending a final glare to sana before stomping out the room.
sana closes the door softly after him, settling back down with a sigh.
"i'm so sorry about him i didn't know he would react like that i-"
"it's okay y/n. this is actually quite common. sexual dysfunction is often severely underreported in men, because of the masculine standards they put themselves up to, lots of them won't seek treatment. that's why most of the clients we get are women who come in here with their boyfriends, and a lot of the time these boyfriends don't think they have anything to do with the women's sexual dysfunction, and a lot of them can't accept that they do."
"but you just said-"
"i know what i said. and it's true that if your foreplay is indeed enough and arousing for you, and that this isn't because of any sexual dysfunction he may have, then it no longer directly regards him. however, just because it doesn't directly involve him, doesn't mean it's got absolutely nothing to do with him. i do think i have an idea of what you're going through, but to confirm i'd like to ask a couple more questions if that's okay with you? and hopefully you can be fully honest with me now that ben isn't here."
you shuffle in your seat a little. "yeah of course."
she smiles, going back to her notepad, "so backtracking a bit, i'm assuming ben hasn't been able to make you orgasm?"
you blush, shaking your head.
"how about with previous partners? is there anything they've done that's helped you reach that orgasm or are there any similarities you can think about between them?"
"mm well for one, i've only ever been able to come when i'm with women."
"oh?" sana looks up again over her specs, a twinkle in her eye.
"u-um yeah and with them it's mostly um, using their hands or oral, and even then i normally need at least some clitoral stimulation to come. i have tried using dildos before but i also find it a little too painful, but i'm at least able to bear it when it's with a woman, with ben i kinda just push him off because it's all too much."
"i see. that's quite normal. most women do require clitoral stimulation to be able to orgasm. a very small proportion of women are actually able to come from penetration alone. do you masturbate?"
you blush again, fiddling with your fingers, but her friendly smile reassures you, "yes. well- less since i've been with ben because he doesn't really like it when he finds out i've touched myself. he gets a little offended and always says i don't need to masturbate when i have him. he takes offense because he thinks i'm doing it since he's not doing a good enough job or something."
"hmm." she hums, jotting something else down, "is he doing a good enough job? i know you said foreplay was fine but i just wanted to check in on that again."
"he's alright i guess. like most men i've been with in the past he does kinda rush things a little, and he does do foreplay it's just a little rougher than i like sometimes. i also think um-" you blush, eyes flickering around the room.
"mm?" sana smiles gently again, encouraging you.
"i think he has trouble finding my clit? or i don't know he always kinda fumbles around when he fingers me so his hands always brush against my clit a little too rough and then he presses down on parts where he thinks it is and asks me if it feels good."
sana hums again, writing down some more notes before the next question. "so back to masturbation, before ben, how often would you say you masturbated?"
"oh u-um, maybe like once a month?"
"and you're able to make yourself come?"
"sometimes. sometimes it just gets too tiring and i end up just falling asleep."
"i see." sana writes a few finishing notes and then places her notepad on the table. "so from what you've told me today, it would seem like you have something called genito-pelvic pain or penetration disorder. normally this sort of behaviour has to go on for at least 6 months before it is diagnosable, but even though it’s only been two months for you, we can still work on ways to improve your symptoms. so there's nothing physically wrong with you or your body, this is more of a cognitive response to a fear of pain from penetration. what happens is because of this fear, you're vaginal muscles tighten when you're about to have sex, they're trying to protect you from this invasive thing that's going to enter your body and that it thinks will cause you a lot of pain. this is why it's so much more painful when someone does penetrate you, because you're muscles are already working actively to try and push it out, they only get tighter and tighter making sex more painful for you. this kinda creates this cycle of fear because it does hurt when you have sex, so the next time it happens, your muscles learn to anticipate this pain and try to close you off from this external invasion. does that kinda make sense?"
you nod a little hazily, the words floating around in your head.
"it's a good thing that you're still able to take penetration though. in some extreme cases women's vaginas have been sealed so tight penis penetration is impossible. now there aren't any medications for this unfortunately, but the main treatment is to unlearn this fear that's maintaining the disorder, and eventually you'll be able to engage in sex that is enjoyable for you again."
"how would i unlearn that?"
"well first of all, masturbation helps. a lot. you say you were only really doing it once a month in the past but actually, masturbating weekly or even twice a week is perfectly normal. and i know you said your boyfriend doesn't really like it but... well it's your body right? if he can't make you feel good then you need to start learning how to make yourself feel good. you need to start turning sex into a positive experience again. later down the line, that also means a lot more foreplay than what you're currently doing. i'm talking like an hour at least. using lube as well will be extremely useful, even if you are wet, it always helps to be fully prepared for that first penetration. i know this all sounds like a lot right now so we'll start slow. would you mind getting up on the examination table and taking off your pants and underwear. i'd like to examine your pelvic muscles a little more closely."
you nod, shuffling onto your feet and beginning to strip out of your clothes. sana pays you no mind, grabbing a new pair of gloves and slipping them on. you figure sana has done this plenty of times in the past, there was nothing to be embarrassed about. well... aside from the fact that sana was really pretty and her really pretty hands were about to be touching you and-
she's turning back around when you lay on the examination table, hands crossed on your stomach, fiddling with your fingers. you avoid her gaze but catch the way her eyes linger a little on your legs. she moves closer towards you, you keep your gaze fixed on the ceiling, feeling the tips of your ears go red at the attention.
she giggles a little and you're confused, "y/n you have to open your legs for me to be able to see anything."
"oh right i- um-" you shyly spread your legs apart, revealing your cleanly shaven lips.
sana squeezes something into her hand, "this is just lube. to see your pelvic muscles in action means i'll have to part your walls so i'm just lubricating them to make it a little more comfortable for you." she looks up at you, waiting for your consent, and when you nod, she gets straight to work.
you gasp at the cold feeling of the lubricant running down your folds, wiggling a little. then, sana's hands come in and start massaging the lube along your folds, spreading it so it covers the entire surface area of your core, fingers gentle as she spreads the liquid. your breath catches a little when she bypasses your clit, squeezing your hands together, and trying your best to not make any inappropriate sounds while in your doctor's office.
you sneak a glance down at her, watching the way she has her lip caught between her teeth while she focuses, eyes glued to your folds. she spreads your lips and starts applying the lube on your inner folds as well, meticulous with her work, making sure no slice of skin was missed.
"i'm going to start prodding around your entrance now alright?"
you can only choke out a hum in response, not trusting your voice to give away the fact that this was turning you on very much.
one of her fingers glides down to your entrance, her other hand still holding your lips open, and she starts to poke gently at your entrance, you can feel when a short fingernail dips in just slightly, wiggling around a little to try and loosen you up. at this point you're kinda glad sana went with the lube because it meant she couldn't tell she was actually getting you spectacularly wet on her own, your own slick mixing with the lube she's spread all over.
she starts pushing a finger in very slowly, but you cringe a little and shuffle your hips when she's about a knuckle in. she pulls out gently, "hurts?"
you nod, "a little."
she starts pressing gently against your folds again, "i'm just going to try massage your folds from the outside, hopefully it'll get your muscles to relax a little with some stimulation."
it is relaxing, the way she's gently pressing into you, it’s certainly never like anything you’ve felt before, it turns you on, but also eases you, it’s a combination you’ve never experienced.
when she gently runs a finger over the hood of your clit your hips jerk and you gasp.
“sorry! too much?” sana backs away quickly, hands raised so you can see she’s no longer touching you.
you inhale, forcing yourself to look at her, your gaze a little blurry, eyes lidded, “n-no. that was- g-good actually.” your voice is a lot scratchier than it was, you can’t believe how turned on you are from just minutes of being with her. “a-actually would it- um- are you allowed to take your gloves off? like if you want to! you don’t have to if you think it’s gross or anything i just think it could help a little so you can feel exactly where your skin and nails touch me.”
sana raises an eyebrow, seeming to consider you, and you want to crawl back into your pants, run away and never see be seen in public again the longer she takes to regard you.
but then wordlessly, she takes her gloves off, flicking them into the bin and reaching for the bottle of lube.
���oh um- you don’t have to. i’m wet enough i think.”
sana smirks then, squeezing some into her palm, “oh sweetie i know. remember what i said about lubing up anyway though? there can never be too much lube.”
you blush at the pet name, gritting your teeth when you feel the cool liquid and the soft touch of her fingers again. except this time it’s so much more real, you can feel every single brush, every stroke, every movement of her fingers against you. when she brushes against your clit again, you can’t help the faint moan you let out. your cheeks burn in embarrassment when you feel her still her movements against you. “s-sorry i-“
“it’s okay. you can make as many sounds as you want. just relax. stop thinking sweetie.” she brushes over your clit again, with a little more purpose this time, and you let out another whimper, trying to stop your hips from grinding against her hand.
the next few minutes are torturous. you're biting back moans every 2 seconds, focusing on keeping your hips solidly on the examination table, hands clenched tight together, you’re so wet you can hear the way she's sliding through your folds much more easily now, able to insert the entire length of her fingernail in with each stroke downwards. your breathing has gotten observably heavier, each inhale and exhale is strained, and you certainly couldn’t look at sana anymore, eyes glazed, just trying to focus on not giving yourself away.
"i’m gonna try go in again now okay?"
you nod, a little desperately, closing your eyes to block out the sight of her between your legs.
she gently prods at your entrance, now able to slide a knuckle in fairly easily, you feel like jelly around her, unable to control your own movements when you jolt downwards, sucking in more of her finger and moaning at the feeling.
“alright?”
“mhm just- just do it.”
“do what sweetie?”
“just- you know-“
“hmm?” she slips a little further in, and you clench around her, your muscles trying to trap her inside of you.
“f-fuck- i- yeah- fuck-“
she giggles a little and you flush, you realise again that she’s very attractive and very good with her hands and those hands are now inching even deeper into you, and before you know it, she’s got her entire finger buried inside of you.
you’re breathless at the feeling.
“painful at all?”
“n-no. not at all. feels- um- g-good.”
you can hear the smirk in her voice when she teases, “you feel good.”
you clench around her at the praise, unaware that sana’s trying her very best to stay as professional as possible, despite wanting so badly to rid you of all your clothes and fuck you until you were moulded to only be able to take her.
“relax baby. i’m going to slide back out now okay?”
you whine when you feel her retreating slowly, your walls gripping her finger, urging her to stay inside. but she comes out until just the tip of her finger is in you, and then pushes in again, filling you up deliciously.
you exhale deeply, back arching at the feeling.
“good?”
“fuck- so fucking good oh god-“
she’s pulling out and pushing in again, slow and careful, watching your body for any signs of pain and fixed on the way your face contorts in pleasure at the feeling of being sexually satisfied for the first time in months.
“think you can take another?” you peek open your eyes to find that sana looks slightly more dishevelled than before, her breathing also a little irregular now, her voice low with lust. you gulp at the sight.
“y-yeah.”
now that you've caught a glimpse of her, you can't look away, your eyes tracing the way her gaze is a little clouded, her tongue peaking out to wet her lips. then she's pushing in again with a second finger, rubbing your clit lightly with her other hand and pressing down onto the external parts of your folds to get you to loosen up.
you suck her in easily, whimpering a little when she stops and looks up at you in concern.
"k-keep going p-please- i can take it- fuck-"
so she continues her journey, pressing in deeper, and deeper, until she's able to fit two fingers snugly inside of you. you moan when she fills you up, pulsing around her, muttering curses and hands moving to hold onto the sides of the examination table.
but then, sana's pulling out again, and this time she doesn't come back. she clears her throat, moving towards the sink in her office to wash herself up.
you clamber onto your elbows hazily, completely soaked and watch in confusion as she dries her hands, her cheeks flushed.
"i think that's enough for today y/n. you can use the sink and this towel here to clean yourself up and get dressed. i'll wait for you outside." she doesn't spare you another glance and slips outside the room, closing it behind her to give you some privacy.
you take a second to recover because what the fuck just happened? you can only follow her instructions dumbly, picking up the towel she's left for you and cleaning yourself up, still incredibly sensitive when you twitch with each swipe along your folds. you put your clothes back on and rearrange your hair so that it doesn't look like you were just about to come mere minutes ago.
once you're tidied up and you've cleared your mind, or at least pushed all the lustful thoughts about being fucked into the table aside, you step outside the office, looking around to find that sana's with ben at the front desk, talking to the receptionist.
you clear your throat to announce your presence when you walk up to them. ben seems to have calmed down and he kisses your cheek sweetly when you sidle up next to him. you take note of the way sana eyes the action, her grip on the pen getting just a little tighter.
"alright y/n. i talked with ben to get an idea of your availability so i hope it's okay that i've booked you in for another session in about 2 weeks."
"yes that's fine!" your voice comes out unintentionally higher than you meant it to. the nerves and confusion hitting you at once.
"and i'll also set you a little homework. like we talked about, masturbation is key to getting better. so here's a self-care kit, it's got a clitoral vibrator and a few different dildo sizes as well as a couple of bottles of lube. i want you to try using the vibrator first, get used to the feeling of orgasming, and then start to bring in the smallest dildo. ben can watch if you want him to or help, but just remember what i said about making sex a positive experience. that's the main purpose of all of this, just relearning that sex is good and that it’s meant to be fun and enjoyable. i'll check with you in 2 weeks how the progress is going and we'll go from there. any questions?"
the entire time she talks to you, she barely looks into your eyes, it's clear she's already discussed all of this with ben who looks more than happy to be a bystander to your sexual pleasure if it meant he would be able to have sex with you later on. you find yourself a little disappointed that she won't acknowledge you. you shake your head no, and she slides you a few forms and the self-care package she mentioned, discreetly wrapped and in a cute little takeaway bag.
"great i'll see you in two weeks y/n. if you'll excuse me now." she sidesteps you and walks briskly back into her office, your eyes trail after her, but you shake the feelings from your head, refocusing on the present and the way ben has his arm wrapped around you.
❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
it's a fortnight later and you're sitting in a familiar waiting room, this time without ben because you convinced him to stay behind after his retaliatory actions the last time he was here. maybe you also just wanted to see sana alone but you weren't going to tell him that.
if you were being honest, sana hasn't left your mind once since you left the clinic two weeks ago. even when you were completing her assigned homework tasks, it wasn't broad muscles and rugged facial hair that you were thinking of, no matter how hard you tried, your thoughts always drifted back to the way sana had handled you so carefully, the way her fingers felt inside you, how she paid attention to every single reaction you made, every small sound, twitch, how attentive she was. and sometimes your thoughts drifted into territory that was a little more imaginative. those usually consisted of sana using the various toys she'd given you to bring you to heights you weren't able to bring yourself to.
"y/n?"
your head snaps up at the voice. you beam seeing her, she has her hair up today, pretty earrings and perfect features accentuated. she smiles in response at you, gesturing you to follow her to her office.
you settle into the familiar office again, much more relaxed and excited than the last time you were here.
"i see you're looking a lot more chipper than 2 weeks ago." sana comments with a smile, grabbing her notepad that you recognise from last week.
"just happy to see you again."
her smile fades a little at that, but you don't let that discourage you.
"right... so tell me how your fortnight has been. have you attempted to have sex with your boyfriend again? uh... bryson was it? or brendan?"
"ben. and no we haven't had sex again. i also took your advice and let masturbation be just a personal experience. he asked to watch and help but i told him it would be better if he didn't."
"that's good to hear. how has the masturbation been?"
"great! you were right! i've forgotten what having sex just for the sake of doing it for myself felt like. i've spent so long thinking i enjoyed it when i was really just an item for my partner's satisfaction. in a sense that brought me joy as well, being able to provide a source of happiness for them, but i realised that that's not a healthy thing to keep doing."
sana smiles genuinely, "very good y/n. i'm glad that masturbation has helped you realised that. how about your vaginal muscles? did you try using the dildos in the self care package?"
"um- yes i did but- i was actually hoping- uh-"
"hmm? what is it?"
"well i still haven't really been able to cum from using the dildos, only from the vibrator. it's not as painful anymore to put them in, and i'm still working up the sizes, but it still doesn't really feel good? like it just feels like there's something in me, it doesn't really derive pleasure or anything like that."
sana hums, thinking a little, writing down a few notes before closing her notepad. "would you show me?"
"i- um- sorry what?"
"how you've been masturbating. it may be something with the technique, but if it's something else more serious, i'd need to know about it."
"oh! yeah of course." you stumble upwards, repeating your movements from 2 weeks ago, stripping of your clothes, except this time, you take your top off as well.
sana yelps and turns around at your abrupt show of skin.
"something wrong sana?"
"oh- um- no nothing i just thought- um- i didn't think there was reason for your top to be off as well-"
"you wanted to see how i touched myself right? i generally try and stimulate my tits as well since my nipples are quite sensitive."
"right... yes of course." she turns around again, avoiding your gaze and looking to the floor, waiting for you to get on the examination table.
your lips quirk a little at how shy she's being, "is something the matter sana? you see naked bodies all the time in this line of work don't you? and you pretty much saw me naked last time as well..."
sana blushes even brighter, "um- well- yes but- most of my patients tend to be middle aged and they certainly aren't as attractive as you are."
"you think i'm attractive?" you're laid on the examination table now, head turned to the side so you can watch as the doctor fumbles where she's seated, still not looking at you.
"i- um- well- forgive me- i'm trying really hard to be professional right now and-"
"is that why you left in such a hurry during our last session?" you start trailing your hands over yourself, finding yourself easily aroused in the presence of the other woman.
"oh- um- well- yes i- i didn't want to make you uncomfortable-"
you moan gently when a practiced hand glides up to squeeze softly at a tit, the other sliding down slowly towards your centre. "you could never make me uncomfortable sana. well actually... i was only really uncomfortable when you left me so empty last time. i couldn't wait to go home and try out the toys you gave me, i haven't felt so turned on in so long and i needed to get that out of my system as soon as i could." you're trying to get a rise out of her, but everything you're saying is the truth anyway.
sana's eyes are on you now, wide and a little shocked at the words coming out of your mouth, and you revel in the way that meant her eyes now travelled your body. you try and angle yourself so she can see the way you squeeze at your breast, brushing over a nipple lightly with your palm and watching it pebble in reaction, your other hand dipping down to trace along your folds, finding that you're already dripping, the fact that the object of your sexual desires for the last 2 weeks is now only inches away from you, watching you touch yourself, driving you further off the edge of sanity.
"y/n..." sana's voice comes out almost 2 octaves lower than her usual register. you catch the way she wets her lips and crosses her legs.
"i'm so wet already i don't even need lube. and i know you kept saying to use it no matter what and trust me i did when i got myself off at home, but right now, just look-" you bring your hand up from between your legs, making an obscene display of licking your fingers and sucking on them, making sure she could see the arousal that coated your fingers.
sana's jaw tightens at the sight, she shuffles a little in her seat, unconsciously moving closer towards you.
"you don't have to worry about being unprofessional sana. i promise i want this just as much as you do right now." you slide your hand back down yourself, finding your clit easily after the practice you've gotten over the last fortnight, and rubbing circles around it.
"bold of you to assume i want this. this is my job after all." you leak at the register in her voice, it's something you've only been able to imagine in your fantasies.
"you don't want me?" you pout a little, turning onto your side so your entire body is facing her, your arm pushing your breasts together while a finger tugs gently on a nipple, your other hand still rubbing fast little circles into your clit.
sana chuckles darkly, her eyes closing, she seems to be trying to force herself to keep still.
"because just to be clear... i've thought about how you touched me every single time i came these past two weeks." your breath hitches when you recall the way you'd vigorously rub one out to her, sometimes multiple times a day ever since you started masturbating again. "i- oh fuck- no one has gotten me that turned on in such a short amount of time ever- nng- and i'd think about the way you felt inside me, and how careful and gentle you were- fuck- and then i'd think about how rough you could get as well- oh- and how i'd try and be so good for you- can you- can you pass me the dildo? i think i can slide the smallest one in now-"
she gets up from her seat wordlessly, exuding a dark aura that makes you clench your thighs in anticipation. she moves towards your bag, digging for the package and pulling it out, taking the smallest dildo and then moving back towards you. her pupils are blown, hungrily drinking you in, your fingers speed up just a little at the attention.
you reach out a hand mid-moan, asking for her to pass you the toy.
but she clicks her tongue, pushing your hand away gently and lubing up the toy herself.
you gulp, turning so you're laid flat on your back again, spreading your legs so she can see just how wet you were.
her eyes meet yours briefly, and you adore the way she checks in and makes sure you're okay with this, and you nod, giving her permission before she's sliding the dildo into you.
"oh shit-"
sana hums, pushing the little gold dildo in further, transfixed on the way your fingers move just a little rougher around your clit with every centimetre.
when she's completely inside you moan, clenching around the dildo, it was a comfortable size inside you.
"any pain?" her voice is rough, laced with barely concealed lust.
you whine, "n-no- you can move."
she starts pulling out, and it is almost painful the threat of being empty leaving you desperate, grinding down to try and keep her inside you, but she pushes back in, just a second faster this time and you moan unabashedly.
"f-fuck-" she starts up a rhythm, pulling out of you, then pushing back in, each time a second faster than the last.
you rub your clit, faster, harder, pulling on your nipple, switching to the other one to make sure both were attended to, you've never been built up this quickly. even when you were masturbating you had taken her advice and teased yourself for at least an hour before you got anywhere close to cumming.
you crave her, eyes lidded watching the way the veins in her arms become a little more visible when she thrusts in a little harder. you can hear the examination table shaking under you, you can't keep still at all, trying to meet her on each thrust, the tools and materials clattering about loudly. the possibility that someone could hear you outside flies across your mind but you can barely give it a second thought, in fact, it turns you on even more knowing that you were getting fucked by the most gorgeous doctor that you've been obsessed with the last fortnight, and on the other side of the door everyone was just going about their regular days, having no idea the heights of pleasure she was bringing you to.
"o-oh s-sana oh my god- holy fuck-"
"hmm? good?"
"yes yes so good- oh my god you feel so good inside me i'm gonna- oh fuck-"
"do you mind if i..."
you look down at her, vision a little blurry but you can tell she's asking to do something, "yes yes oh god- whatever- you can do whatever you want to me- oh fuck-"
you feel a soft hand come to rest on your stomach, sliding down to just a little below your belly button, and then it presses down just gently, "oh fuck!" your hips jolt upwards, pleasure running up your spine.
sana stops the pressure but keeps her hand on your lower stomach, "was that okay?"
"god yes- oh sana you're gonna make me cum please-"
so she presses down again, a little harder this time, and you feel the coil in you snap, white enroaching your vision, your thighs shaking, head tilted back, a high-pitched gasp leaving your mouth, feeling completely breathless.
sana waits for you to come down patiently, helping you through your orgasm, continuing her thrusts into your cunt but slower and much gentler.
eventually, you feel your back and hips meet the surface of the examination table under you again, breathing heavily and opening your eyes slowly.
sana's moved next to you, brushing strands of hair out of your face, you preen into her touch. but the next thing she does has you clenching tightly around the dildo that's still inside you. she brings her fingers to her mouth, sucking them in and making a show of wrapping her tongue around them. "exquisite."
you blush, clenching your thighs together at the sight.
she gives you a slow once-over again, before exhaling shakily and turning away, moving to the sink to clean up a little. you struggle a little to sit up, still recovering from your mind-shaking orgasm, and you're about to pull the dildo out of you when she speaks up again, still with her back turned to you.
"keep it inside you. that'll be your homework task for the next fortnight until our next session." she turns around, seeming to have collected herself a little better, her eyes fixed only on your face, purposely avoiding the rest of your body.
you sluggishly start to clean yourself up, wincing a little each time you accidentally move the dildo inside you.
"so you are able to come from penetration, you don't have to worry about that. and it's normal that you need some clitoral or other stimulation to be able to orgasm, often just penetration isn't enough. for the next fortnight i want you to continue masturbating, but i want you to practice leaving a dildo inside yourself afterwards, so your vaginal muscles get used to the feeling of something being inside. you can slowly work your way up the sizes, just don't push yourself and make sure you stop if it starts becoming too painful."
you nod, trying to bring your breathing back to a normal pace while you slip your clothes back on.
"alright. were there any other concerns you wanted to talk about?"
you shake your head, coming to a stand.
"okay. you can make the next appointment with the receptionist out front. i'll see you in 2 weeks y/n."
you nod, again, walking out the door when she opens it for you, but turning back before she can close it catching her a little by surprise, "thank you sana. i look forward to seeing you again soon." your voice is still a little scratchy but sana blushes, pursing her lips and nodding, closing the door after you.
you sigh a little dreamily, feeling more blissed out than you've been in a long time.
❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
this continues between the two of you for a few months.
you loved teasing sana and getting her out of her professional state. once you had worn lingerie under your coat to see her. you laugh remembering the way her eyes widened and her jaw dropped as soon as you took off your coat when you were in the privacy of her office. you'd let her fuck you however she wanted, and then you'd use each new experience to get you off during the fortnight that she'd give you new exercises, all increasing in intensity to help build you up to being able to take an average sized penis.
your favourite one to think about was that week that ben started complaining about how you'd been seeing sana for so long that surely you'd be able to take him by now. he insisted on coming to your next appointment but he was forced to sit outside and wait for you. little did he know you were on the other side of the door, a hand clamped over your mouth, the other holding you up against the door with your breasts pressed against it while sana railed into you from behind. of course she kept harnesses in her office. she had said they were mainly there for educational purposes, to show people how to put one on properly so it was safe and wasn't hurting anyone, it was just an added benefit that she also used them to pound into you with increasing dildo sizes each fortnight.
you lean onto your elbows while you watch her wash off the dildo she had just used on you. it was the biggest one yet and you're still fluttering a little remembering the way it filled you up while you rode her.
"what?" she turns around, drying off the dildo and slipping it back into your bag, pulling her shirt back on.
"just think you're nice to look at."
she rolls her eyes playfully, "shut up y/n."
you wiggle your eyebrows, "make me."
she glances at you, narrowing her eyes a little but making no effort to move closer, "as if you could go another round. you came so hard just then."
you giggle and sigh in satisfaction, resting your cheek on a hand, "i did. you're so good at what you do."
sana hums, finishing getting dressed and looking semi-presentable, settling back into her seat, but her expression changes a little while she studies you.
"what's up?"
"... have you tried having sex again with your boyfriend?"
"i told you i haven't."
she hums again, mind drifting elsewhere and you shrug, sitting up and starting to clean yourself up. "you can try now y'know? you were able to take that dildo and that's pretty much the average size of a penis already. unless he's bigger than that...?"
you scoff, shuffling into your pants, "no. he's actually smaller than the one you just used on me."
"then you should try having sex again."
you pull your shirt over your head, thinking over what she's saying. instead of sitting down in your own seat you climb into her lap, her arms wrapping around you automatically, hands gripping your waist while you make yourself comfortable. "doesn't that mean i won't be able to see you anymore?"
sana chuckles a little emptily, "i'm your sex therapist y/n. you knew this was going to end eventually."
"yeah but you don't fuck your other clients do you?"
sana laughs then, you feast in the sound. "no, no i don't."
"good. i was actually thinking..."
"hm?" she brings a hand up to your cheek, brushing slightly.
"would you... i don't know... like... i think about you when i get off yeah but i also think about you like... all the time..."
"mhm."
"so i was wondering if... i don't know if you felt the same if you wanted to like hang out outside of here? and like i don't mean to have sex i mean like go on a date maybe...?" you're shy, bringing this question up, blushing and avoiding her eyes.
"you have a boyfriend y/n." she deadpans.
"well yeah but i was thinking of breaking up with him anyway. now that you're bringing up having sex with him again i don't want that, and i don't want to stop seeing you. i guess just- just the threat that this all might be over soon- well i don't want it to be over. i like you sana." you say a little more firmly this time, meeting her eyes with decisiveness.
sana smiles then, all eyes, leaning in to peck you gently, "come back in a fortnight and we'll see. if you're no longer with him then... maaaybe i'll let you take me out."
your eyes brighten at her response, jumping out of her lap with excitement, "really?! oh my god i'll call him right now and do it-" you're reaching for your phone in your bag when she laughs, pulling you back into her
"don't do it over the phone silly. not even he deserves that."
you pout a little but it’s quickly wiped away when sana kisses you, lips slotting perfectly against yours with practiced ease. you sigh into her, addicted to the feeling, the taste, the smell of her. it was probably the easiest decision of your life, choosing your sex therapist over your boyfriend.
#sana#twice sana#minatozaki sana#sana x reader#twice x reader#sana smut#twice smut#sana imagines#twice imagines#twice sana x reader#twice sana smut#dovveri
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shit happens
spider squad x platonic!reader
request?: yes
request: “Okokok, first of all CLASH WAS SOOOO GOOD OMGGI come bearing a request only if u want to. Teen!spider!reader who is Miguel’s favorite because they don’t cause him trouble. But it’s only because they get severely anxious when they break rules (I’m not projecting, you are). So he assigns them to go on a mission with the problem children hoping they’ll rub off on them, but the problem children just corrupt them. I just need more spider children being chaotic together and tired spiderdad MiguelMwah mwah love ur writing )pls only write this if u feel like it)”
requested by: anon
word count: 2k
genre: platonic
Warnings: language, anxiety, Miguel being unrealistic with his expectations, electrocution, spider squad gettin thrown around
A/N: omg wait no bc same HAHA as someone with diagnosed severe generalized anxiety i get so anxious to break the rules even though my spirit always tells me to lol, i hope you enjoyed this anon! thank you for the request :)
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You were the golden child. There were quite a few teens in Spider Society, but you were by far Miguel’s favorite. And that’s all because you did what he said. Now did that mean you never questioned his authority? Of course not, you questioned him all the time. But you were too nervous to go against him. You were too nervous to go against anyone. It’s proven a problem in your job since the police are not your biggest fans, but luckily you befriended a nice police captain who eases your fears every now and again. Your weekly visits with Spider-Therapist have been helping with the problem, too. Which is great for you. But you still did what Miguel said. Mans could be scary.
And that’s how you ended up here. With Hobie Brown, Gwen Stacy, Miles Morales, and Pavitr Prabhakar. There was an anomaly that needed taken down in Hobie’s world, and Miguel stuck you with the four of them. To say you were nervous was an understatement. “Right, so anyone got a plan?” Hobie asks, in his thick accent. “What? What do you mean, dude, we’re in your world,” Miles says, and Hobie shrugs. “So? Not my villain, dunno ‘ow to stop ‘im.”
“Okay, well we know that he’s an electro variant, so… what can we do with that?” Gwen asks, and Pav sighs. “Be electrocuted,” he says sadly. “Miles can handle that,” Gwen says, and Miles snaps his head toward her. “Miles cannot handle that! Why are we saying Miles can be electrocuted?!” Miles yells, and the other three shush him. “’ow ‘bout you, mate, any ideas?” Hobie asks you, and you shrug. You look around before pointing up to the water towers on the roofs of the multiple buildings in New London. “Water,” you suggest, and they all look where you’re pointing. “Smart,” Gwen says with a nod. “How do we get the water to him, though?” Pav asks, looking at you again. You frown. “I… actually didn’t think that far.”
“Well, ‘at’s, easy. We just bust ‘em. Get ‘im to fly near one and,” Hobie makes an explosion noise and uses his hands to imitate an explosion. “What? But what about all the people who will lose water?” you ask, and Miles cocks his head to the side. “It’ll get fixed fast, probably. It’s our job to fuck shit up and then have other people fix it cause if we don’t fuck shit up, shit gets fucked anyways,” he says, and you sigh. “But Miguel said to try and not cause too much of an issue—”
“Oi. Who gives a flyin’ fuck what ‘e said. Not me. And this is my bloody world, I’ll cause as much damage as I want to,” Hobie says, and you look down. “Sorry.”
“You don’t gotta apologize for nothin’, mate,” Hobie says, and you mumble another ‘sorry.’ “You know what? I think Electro can wait a minute,” Hobie says, turning towards you, “More important matters to figure out ‘ere.”
“Like what?” you ask, and he shrugs. “Why are you so nervous?” he asks, and you gulp. “I-I’m not, I just—”
“You definitely are,” Gwen says, and Miles throws in a ‘yup!’ with a nod. “Is it us?” Pav asks, a hint of sadness in his voice. “W-What? No, that’s not it,” you say, waving your hands in a frantic way to say no. “I just am nervous in general. It really isn’t that big of a deal, guys, we should be focusing on—”
“Nope. You’re not gettin’ outta this, you been in ya ‘ead this ‘ole time.”
“I’m always in my head, it really isn’t that big of a deal—”
“Is ‘at why you try to avoid everyone? Don’t talk to no one?” Hobie asks, and you gulp. “I-I talk to some people…” you mumble, and a small frown forms on Gwen’s face. “The therapist in Spider Society doesn’t count,” she says, and you look down. “Well, why not…? He’s a person...”
“Because he’s like 40, and you’re our age,” Pav says, “you’d get along better with us, bro.”
“Miguel said that if anyone could make us not as ‘moronic’ it would be you, but I feel like he just kinda takes advantage of you instead of recognizing the pressure he puts on you. I have some experience with that,,” Miles says, and you sigh. “He scares me, okay? If I break the rules then I might simply pass away from him yelling at me,” you say, and Hobie shakes his head. “Love, the rules are all bollocks. Made by people who just wanna control your life.” Gwen nods. “Miguel is cool, sure, but if anyone can get away with anything… it’s you,” she says, and Miles chimes in. “And if you’re really that scared, remember he literally chased me around his world and destroyed a train because of me. You’ll never piss him off to that point.” You stay silent, playing with your fingers. Pav reaches out and grabs your hands. “Rules are meant to be broken, (Y/n), I learned that from Hobie. And besides, the villains we face are the biggest rule-breakers imaginable,” Pav assures, and you nod slightly. “And rules are such rubbish. ‘ey’re always different anywhere ya go. Try not to put so much weight on your mind ‘bout it, breakin’ ‘em ain’t a big deal,” Hobie says. You do actually kinda feel better. Hobie brings up a good point. Rules are different everywhere you go, so breaking one every now and again isn’t that big of an issue. In fact, it can be kind of encouraged. “Besides, breaking rules is almost like challenging ideologies, you know? Like, in breaking a rule, you challenge a system in place that is telling you not to break them. No one likes that. Where would we be if people didn’t break rules?” Gwen says. “That was deep,” Miles says, and Pav nods. “'at was a wicked way a’ puttin’ it, Gwendy.”
That’s a good point, actually. You think for a bit. If you look at it as challenging a system, or even doing what’s right, who’s to say it’s a rule that shouldn’t be broken? Hobie smiles underneath his mask because he knows they’ve gotten through to you. “So, whaddya say we go blow up some water tanks, eh?” Hobie stands, rubbing his hands together. “Okay,” you say. Gwen and Miles fist bump, and Pav does a little clap. The five of you jump into action, immediately starting to taunt and lure Electro to get him close to the towers so you can douse him and put him out.
The plan was going pretty well for the first two attempts, but he eventually catches on to what the five of you are doing. Which makes it harder. Miles does, in fact, get electrocuted. As does Gwen and Hobie, and coming in as no shock to anyone, Miles is definitely the least affected. You were able to dodge all of the attacks. “You’re doing great, (Y/n)! Mind telling me how the fuck your spidey sense is so strong?!” you hear Miles yell. “MILES LOOK OUT!” Gwen screams, but it’s too late. He gets electrocuted again. “Ouch, bro! That one looked like it hurt!” Pav yells, and Miles, who is now lying face down on a roof, raises his hand up in the air, flipping him off. You snort, and then see Hobie fly past you, landing on another water tower. “Hey! Dumbass! Over here!”
“Oh, please. You expect me to fall for that? I know what your little plan is, and I’m not about to be put out,” Electro says, firing some electricity out at Hobie. Unluckily for Hobie, it breaks the water tower and electrocutes him and the water that pours out of it.
You land next to Hobie, who is now just laying on the rooftop, but he grunts and mutters some British slang that you wouldn’t understand even if he explained it to you. So, you know he’s fine. “I have an idea,” you say, and he nods. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. But we need to make sure no one is on the street.”
“What’s the goody-goody plannin’ on doin’, huh?” he says, standing. “You’ll see, just make sure there are no civilians or anyone who will get hurt. And keep him distracted.” With that, you leap and go to another one of the water towers. You take a deep breath, thinking back to what Miguel said before the five of you left.
“Try not to destroy the city while you’re at it. (Y/n), I trust you’ll keep them all in line,” Miguel said, and you timidly nod. You’d love to not destroy the city, but it’s so hard doing that as a Spider-Person. But you also don’t want him to yell at you for going against his orders. Now you’re conflicted. “No promises, Miguel. We’re gonna do what we gotta do,” Miles says and Miguel sighs. “If anyone can reign the four of you in, it’s this one. Don’t let them pressure you into acting up, okay?”
You frown. Fuck that. Miguel is pressuring you into not doing your job right. You can’t always be perfect and careful. And lucky for you, the four of them were really good at distracting villains. You web two of the support legs, yanking them and breaking them off the water tower. It starts collapsing, but you catch it. “Shit, you’re heavy,” you grunt, but regain your balance, holding it on your shoulders. You twist your body, ripping the other supports off and making the water tower completely free. You get Electro in your sight and take a deep breath. You lift the water tower, tossing it up in the air before leaping out of the way and towards Electro. You shoot webs from both hands, connecting them to the water tower and yanking it towards you. You swing it around, connecting it with Electro’s body. Sure enough, it knocks him down and explodes on impact, drenching him. And you. And Hobie, Miles, Gwen, and Pav; but hey, you did it.
You land on a roof and look down. Sure enough, Electro is knocked out cold and completely out of electricity. You swing down, placing him in one of the technological cells that Miguel developed specifically for Electros, and nod. “That… probably could have gone better,” you mutter to yourself. Your self-deprecating thoughts were cut off immediately. “That was AWESOME, (Y/n),” Gwen says, giving you a thumbs up and hug. “Yeah, little Spider, that was bitchin’,” Hobie says, giving you a fist bump. “You made it look so easy! How did you do that, you have to teach me!” Pav says, clearly excited and impressed. “You were out here talking about how you didn’t wanna break rules so instead you broke an entire water tower? That’s cool, why don’t you try being less cool next time for the sake of us,” Miles says giving you a pat on the shoulder. You smile. “Thanks, guys.” Their praise was enough to make you feel better for completely and totally wreaking havoc.
But when the five of you return, soaking wet, Miguel pinches the bridge of his nose. “I said… to not destroy the city…” he mutters, looking at you with disappointment. You look down. “City’s still standin’, mate. (Y/n) kicked ass,” Hobie says, and the other three make sounds of agreement. “Y-Yeah, Miguel. All I did was break one water tower, it’s not that big of a deal,” you say, and he sighs. “One? You all broke four water towers on four different buildings! And you flooded an entire street! You’re supposed to be the responsible one.”
“Dude. I’m a teenager. Shit happens,” you say, a sudden burst of confidence from being around the group of four allowing you to speak out. Miguel puts his hand on his jaw, sliding his hand down. “Remind me to never team the five of you up again,” he mumbles, and Hobie elbows you. “Nah, we’re a band now. Sorry ‘bout it,” Hobie says, motioning everyone to leave Miguel’s sight. You all follow. When you’re out of Miguel’s office, Hobie bumps your shoulder. “See, that wasn’t all that bad, was it?”
He was right, it wasn’t that bad.
───────────────────────────────────
#spiderverse x reader#atsv x reader#hobie brown x reader#gwen stacy x reader#miles morales x reader#pavitr prabhakar x reader#spiderverse#spiderman#spiderpunk#spidergwen#hobie brown#gwen stacy#miles morales#pavitr prabhakar
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SEX THERAPIST.
nsfw! -- lowkey got the idea from some wattpad book i read a couple years ago LMAOAOA someone lmk what its called if yk what im talking about.
this was so rushed, but I wanna make more parts to this soooooo, should I ?? + not proofread sorry for any mistakes
Over the past few weeks, challenges have emerged in your relationship with your boyfriend, including a sexual issue. A friend suggested seeking the help of a relationship therapist, specifically a sex therapist.
Following this advice, both of you attended therapy sessions, which have been generally positive. The sessions have been conducted by Mr. Skywalker, and you couldn't help but notice his flawlessly attractive presence.
Today, Mr. Skywalker invited you to a session alone, as your boyfriend was away on a work trip and couldn't attend. Despite the familiarity of being in therapy sessions with your boyfriend, you found yourself unexpectedly nervous about being in Mr. Skywalker's office alone.
This uneasiness contrasted with the usual sessions where he sometimes appeared agitated when you had discussed certain relationship issues.
You subtly pushed open the door to his office, finding him absorbed in his laptop. His intense gaze lifted as he noticed your entrance, and he grunted, "Good to see you," shutting his laptop without breaking eye contact.
Taking a seat across from him, you couldn't help but feel a mix of intimidation and attraction as his penetrating eyes swept over you, especially when they almost hungrily traced the lines of your pretty skirt.
"Hey," you greeted, adjusting yourself and placing your purse aside.
"How are you today?" he inquired, the discussion soon shifting towards your boyfriend, and he cut right to the chase.
"Any differences?" he demanded, a hint of authority in his tone. "Or just the same?"
With a sigh, you reluctantly nodded, "Just the same."
"hm, I see, today, we're going to try something" he declared, taking a pause before continuing, "different from our usual sessions,"
"Alright?" he asked, his gaze holding yours in a way that sent shivers down your spine.
And with that, you nodded.
"Now, hun, you know better than that, use your words," he advised, raising his eyebrows with a subtle challenge, making you gulp at the underlying intensity.
Despite the unease, you nodded again, confirming, "Yes, it's alright."
He nodded in approval, a sly smile playing on his lips. "There we go, that's better," he cooed.
You struggled to maintain composure as he rose slowly from his seat.
Fuck, he looked too good.
It felt almost wrong to acknowledge, but he exuded a captivating mix of intimidation and raw appeal. Giving you a piercing look, he wordlessly gestured for you to stand.
You complied, standing mere inches from him, reveling in the sizzling height difference that fueled your desires.
"Relax, you're nervous," he spoke in a low, commanding tone, his massive, yet surprisingly gentle hand tracing along your shoulder.
"Remember the breathing activities Nadia taught you?" he questioned, referencing a previous therapist.
You nodded.
"I want you to do those for me right now," he demanded, and you obeyed.
Inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly, you followed the practiced routine. Anakin's intense presence lingered, making your transformation into a calmer state palpable to both him and yourself.
"Good," he cooed, a low rumble in his voice.
"Very good," he continued, his unwavering gaze fixed on yours.
"You mentioned that when he touches you, he tends to rush things and doesn't take his time, right?" Anakin inquired.
You nearly choked on your words, but you managed to nod. "Yes, he rushes it," you concurred, and he nodded, trailing his fingers down your shoulders.
"You don't like that," he stated, and you just shrugged.
"If you want my help, you're going to have to talk to me," he asserted, his tone firm.
"So, I'm going to ask you again. You don't like it, correct?" he demanded, and without hesitation, you responded, "yes, It's not even enjoyable for me now," you explained, having this weird feeling inside of you.
Your eyes threatened to lose focus as his commanding lips left a trail of kisses along your neck.
"He doesn't get you squirming like this, does he?" he demanded, his breath sending shivers down your spine.
"He doesn't even bother to kiss me," you breathlessly responded, almost whimpering when Anakin abruptly halted his assault on your neck. Gripping your face with his two hands, he sneered, "Well, it's his loss."
Before you could fully process his words, he forcefully pulled you into a fervent kiss, his tongue asserting dominance while his hands explored your body. In response, your hands navigated the contours of his physique. Standing on your toes, you seized his shirt, pulling him in for more.
"I'm going to teach you," he growled between kisses, his voice dripping with intimidation and promise.
"I'm going to show you what it truly means to feel good."
He was making his intentions unmistakably clear.
You offered no resistance, the unfamiliar sensations captivating you entirely. A low whimper escaped your lips as you looked up at him with pleading eyes, your voice adopting a desperate tone.
"Do whatever you want to me, please," you begged.
In response, a grin spread across his face, his gaze growing more intense. He effortlessly lifted you, carrying you to his desk and placing you on the edge without a care for the paperwork that might have fallen.
Unconcerned about the potential mess, he kissed you again, deliberately slow and enticing, leaving you craving more as his lips reluctantly pulled away. Descending to your neck, he gradually knelt on the ground, spreading your legs apart.
Inhaling your scent, he groaned as his fingers teased the material of your skirt.
"Cute," he murmured before his tongue traced over your damp panties.
"He's never made you this wet, has he? This all f'me?" he cooed, and with a whimper, you nodded. Your hands tangled in his hair as his tongue continued to trace circles over your panties.
"Raise your hips for me, baby," he murmured, standing up slightly. Complying, you lifted your hips, allowing him to smoothly pull down both your skirt and panties, discarding them carelessly on the floor.
Returning to his previous position on his knees, he watched you with an intensity that left you feeling exposed.
Shyly attempting to close your legs, he intervened without hesitation, forcefully parting them. Biting his lip at the revealing sight before him, his hands gripped your thighs, pulling you closer to the edge.
He planted a couple of kisses on your inner thighs before his tongue skillfully lapped over your drenched core. His eyes remained locked onto yours, never wavering for a second, intensifying the heat of the moment.
Your body quivered at his sudden actions, and soon enough, he began sucking at your clit, causing your head to arch back in pleasure.
"fuck ani, 's good" you cried out, legs shaking from how good it was, how good he was.
He never let anyone refer to him with the nickname, 'ani', but an exception was made for you.
"Louder," he demanded, and you complied, moaning and whimpering in response to his skilled ministrations.
Your breath caught as you almost moaned at the sight of his chin glistening with your arousal. His nose grazing your clit with each rhythmic motion elicited loud moans from you. His unyielding grip on your thighs persisted, and he skillfully positioned you to allow the subtlest rocking of your hips back and forth.
"oh my gosh" you cried out, your hand clutching the lamp on his desk for dear life as your legs trembled uncontrollably.
"mmm," he cooed, continuing to suck on your clit. "Such a good pussy this is," he murmured appreciatively.
"Want all your damn juices in my mouth. Come on, baby, cum," he grunted, and with those words, and his absolute torture going on with your cunt, you made a mess all over his face.
He persisted in his relentless actions even after you reached your peak, a smirk playing on his lips as he finally stood up. Grabbing your trembling hand, he guided it over to the bulge in his pants.
"Feelin' me, baby?" he sneered, and with a pout, you nodded.
"Where do you want this, here, hm?" he taunted, using his other hand to press down on your lower stomach.
Again, you nodded.
"Yes, please," you begged, and he chuckled, a menacing tone underscoring the sound.
Sealing his lips to yours, he tasted you through the kiss, reveling in the control he held. His hands roughly palmed your breasts through your shirt before pulling away for the slightest second to take off your top, following your bra.
"Off," you whined, eyeing his pants as you undid the buttons on his shirt. Soon, both of you had discarded clothes, each piece carelessly thrown around his office.
"Such a pretty pussy, been denied for so long, huh?" he jeered, removing his boxers.
You found yourself almost intimidated by his size, and as he brought it to your slit, he chuckled while deliberately teasing it against your folds.
"Lay down," he demanded, and you whined.
"But your desk, what if it—" you started expressing concern, but he cut you off.
"Do you think I give a damn about my desk, love? I don't give a single shit if it breaks. I'm going to fuck you," he spat out.
"I'm going to fuck you just the way you deserve it."
#star wars anakin#anakin fanfiction#anakin skywalker#anakin smut#anakin x reader#anakin x you#hayden christensen#star wars#aesthetic#anakin and ahsoka#dom!anakin#sub!anakin#hayden christensen x reader#hayden christensen smut#hayden christensen imagine#hayden christensen icons#hayden christensen edit#darth vader#revenge of the sith#rots#padme amidala#attack of the clones#star wars au#star wars fanfiction#anakin skywalker oneshot#anakin skywalker fic#anakin skywalker fanfiction#anakin skywalker fanfic#anakin skywalker one shot#anakin and padme
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Starry Kiss
Summary: you’ve always had a crush on your childhood best friend Chris but always thought your feelings were one-sided since he always had girls all over him and he could have anyone he wanted. One day you hosted a sleepover for your friends as well as Chris, night soon came and you two were the only ones awake and you go stargazing in the starry night where you confess your feelings to him and he responds with a genuine kiss you’ve always wanted to experience… Genre: FLUFF, childhood best friends, stargazing, sleepover, high school sweethearts, starry night, love confession, best friends to lovers, unexpected kiss & possibly more! Warnings: None! Just cutesy sweetheart best friends finally getting together!
Me and Chris have been childhood best friends and I've always had a small crush on him but never thought my feelings were one-sided since he always had girls all over him and once I even had to help him with his first crush who became his first girlfriend who later turned out to be using him.
The poor guy was devastated after that and I had to be his personal therapist for almost two weeks after he got over her and found a new girl to thirst over, it ended up not being me.
I never was good at expressing my emotions since no one never asked unless it was evident something was wrong, only ever Chris saw through the fake smile I would put on everyday to hide the real emotions I would feel, that's one of the many reasons why I have a fat crush on him since childhood.
After school we walk together to my house or his then I would vent to him and show him the real me no one else saw besides him. We could talk and laugh together for hours on end, I always tried to somehow give him blank hints but too scared to actually confess since Im afrain of ruining our friendship I love so much and will cherish all of our moments together fondly.
| - ��� - |
One day I decided to host a sleepover for my friend group, including Chris and some of his guy friends since I know he wouldn't survive being around all of my girlfriends so of course I made an acception for him.
And I’m sure my friends won’t mind.
Chris was the first person to get there since he came in early to help me with preparing all of the stuff that needs to be set up.
While setting up the designated place to sleep we got into a small pillow fight…
• Before Everyone Arrived…
When I was arranging the pillows with Chris’s help, I suddenly felt something soft hit my back and chuckling behind me. Slowly turning for dramatic effect I see Chris burst out laughing and I know he threw the pillow at me.
His laughter is soon muffled by a pillow hitting his face, I soon followed with the chuckles and choked out through the laughter filling the air.
“Thats what you get!”
He immediately went into action and started to throw more pillows at me and I followed behind, throwing pillows at him that were in my reach. We soon started a pillow fight.
I grabbed one of the longer and bigger pillows, he looked at me and put his hand out like eleven while laughing.
“Don’t you even dare!” He speaks between chuckles as I take the risk and hit him with the big pillow in my hand.
“Oh you’re gonna regret doing that”
Suddenly he tackles me to the floor, ending up on top of me with both of us laughing and pillows flying all around, he drops down onto the floor next to me as we continue to laugh at the whole playful situation.
I would be lying if the altercation didn’t fluster me even in the slightest.
| - 🍂 - |
7:45 PM
As the time of the deadline for everyone to finally arrive, me and Chris are waiting by sitting on the couch a bit too close, my head laying down on his shoulder and a simple hand wrapped around my waist and pulling me closer to him.
The whole time I'm trying to hide the slight pink hue growing on my cheeks, its not the first time we sit in such position that could be taken as an intimate one.
My friends often tease me and say to just confess to him like its thats easy. I dont want to ruin our friendship as it could be the last type of friendship we get like this.
While we wait for the others to arrive, the doorbell finally rings indicating they have just arrived, I shoot up onto my feet and to the front door.
Chris follows behind as I open the door, on the other side there’s two girls, my best friend Kayla and Natalie, one guy whos Chris's standing with bags in hand, all being my friends.
I greet them and quickly let them inside, leading them upstairs into the guests bedroom where we’ll be all sleeping since there’s more room there for all of us.
They all put their bags away and we start the fun part of the sleepover...
| - 🍂 - |
10:54 PM
After a little adventure around the night town only illuminated by old street lamps and a snack trip to the store for a small horror marathon we finally got back to my house.
I place the bag of snacks on the coffee table in the living room as all of us gathered inside of the room to start the horror marathon.
All of us take a seat on the couch, the guys sit on one side of the couch and the girls in the other. Me and Chris are in the middle separating the gender groups created.
Grabbing the remote I open the first streaming service I land on, which landed on classic Netflix.
I begin to scroll through the ‘horror’ section, everyone talking among themselves and suggesting what we should watch first before we finally decide on ‘Fear Street’ which is a horror series with 3 movies.
We get comfortable in our spots and I play the movie, some grab snacks and some grab drinks and then the movie starts…
| - 🍂 - |
• After a Horror Movie Marathon
1:31 AM
After watching a god knows how much hours worth of horror movies everyone was finally starting to feel sleepy except for me and Chris for some reason.
“I’m tired…” Kayla yawns, making sluggish moves to get up from her spot on the couch. Everyone else agrees they’re also feeling tired and suggest we should already go to bed.
“Yeah we should go to bed already” Natalie suggests, slowly starting to get up as well to head to our designated sleeping place.
We all follow suite but when I try to get up, Chris decides it would be a funny idea to randomly throw we over his shoulder and carry me to our sleeping place.
I let out a quiet yelp as he throws me over his shoulder, his little giggles echoing through the room as the group looks at us a bit surprised but used to us acting like this with each other.
Trying to protest for him to put me down, sending small hits to his back as he continues to carry me and walk up the stairs with the group until we make it to the room.
He finally puts me down and I shoot him a playful glare which only fuels the stupid grin on his face, we enter the room after everyone and close the door behind us.
We make sure to not step on anyone before both of us got to our sleeping spot for the night and lay down, pulling the duvet over my body as the warmth of it surrounds my body but even with the warm feeling, I find myself not quite being able to fall asleep.
I pretend to sleep, closing my eyes to trick my brain into making me fall asleep but I just lay there conscious with my eyes closed and little did I know that Chris was having the same problem…
| - 🍂 - |
• Two Hours Later
3:09 AM
After a few hours I’m still laying there and staring at the ceiling while everyone’s shallow breathing fills the rooms air and hits my ears in a smooth melody.
A sudden quiet whisper and slight nudge on the shoulder taps me out of my small trance and I look towards the source of the noise.
“Hey, you awake?” I feel Chris’s warm breath hit my cold skin and send a small shiver running down my spine as he speaks.
“No, what’s up?” Answering his question I sit up on my bed and make some room for him to sit down as well so he doesn’t have to keep kneeling down on the hard wooden floor.
“I can’t quite fall asleep for some reason.” He confesses, taking the seat infront of me on the bed. It making a small indent and elevating my own seating from his weight overpowering mine.
“Me neither.” I agree, looking around the room I glance over at the window where the source of the moonlight that’s illuminating the room is coming from.
Noticing the especially starry night sky tonight I remember I was reading an article about that there was supposed to be a starry night.
I suddenly get an idea, since we can’t sleep and I wanted to go star gazing tonight anyway and might as well drag Chris along with me.
“It’s a pretty starry night tonight” I state the obvious before looking back at him and adding, “Wanna go star gazing?”
He glanced between me and the night sky and chuckles quietly then nods his head in agreement. “Yeah, sure”
A soft smile spreads across my face as he agrees and the thought of sitting on a hill with a perfect view of the starry night sky just enters my mind as I imagine the scenery.
We quietly get up from my bed and I grab a blanket on the way out of the room, slowly closing the door behind us than make our way towards the front door to sneak out of the dark house.
On our way down the stairs, Chris suddenly almost trips over something in the dark. Silently cursing under his breath as he out of reflex grabs the my arm and the railing, holding on for dear life to not face plant down the stairs.
I’m trying my hardest to not burst out laughing at his terrified expression at almost falling to his death and making a lot of noise when we’re supposed to be quiet.
Quickly making our way to the front door and almost exiting in a hurry to not wake the others up, I start to lead him to the spot I was thinking of that will have the best view of the sky.
“You gotta place in mind already, princess?” He finally asks in a hushed voice, leaning his head down to make me hear him better. The little nickname he always calls me whenever he wants to gauge a reaction out of me.
“You don’t remember? We used to always go there as kids!” I remind him also in a hushed voice as we walk under the beautiful night sky up a medium hill.
Seeing how his eyes widen in realization as the childhood memories flood both of our minds at once, a small smile growing on my face at the cute moments we’ve had there together.
“Ohh, yeah now I remember” He realizes, scratching the back of his neck in slight embarrassment for not remembering to which I give him a reassuring pat on the back.
We start to go down memory lane of all of the special moments we’ve shared over the past years of our constantly blooming friendship, knowing we’ll never be dumb little kids together anymore just makes my heart ache as I would love to go back in time and relive all of those memories.
Some memories brought laughter, sadness or embarrassment. When we finally made it onto the top of the hill, we were immediately met with an a amazing view of the starry night sky.
My lips fall in an inaudible gasp at how beautiful the scenery is, I look over at Chris and he’s in the same state of awe as I am.
The way the moonlight illuminates his facial features and his long brown strands ghosting over his forehead and slightly above his eyes makes my head go into a slight spiral.
Shaking my head and looking away from him to not cause a too much of a blush on my face than the slight staring has already caused.
A sudden idea comes to my mind, it’s the perfect time and place to confess my longing love for him. It may sound like a typical love story but who knows, he could still say no.
With that thought in my overthinking mind, I start to doubt my idea and bash it. It’s the right place but might not be the right time.
He notices me being lost in thought, my eyes darting over all of the stars on the sky as if I was tracing every possible pattern with them.
His face suddenly is placed infront of my vision, snapping me from the small world my mind had put me in and back to reality.
“Hey, you good?” He asks with concern lacing his tone, a shade of worry shading his features in the moonlight as his brows furrow.
I shake my head, a small embarrassed chuckle escaping past my lips to try and laugh off the situation to make it seem I’m fine. “Yeah I’m fine, just zoned out for a minute”
Him not fully believing me but just brushes off the worry for now, he casually drapes a hand over my shoulder in an almost comforting matter.
Leaning my head on his shoulder we start to walk around the hill to find our spot, soon enough we succeed at our search and lay our backs down on the grass.
We watch the stars, pointing out the constellations we notice the starts aligning to create. It was truly a beautiful sight to witness.
As we observe the starts, I try to get the courage to ask him the question I’ve been dreading to ask him for far too long now that I can’t keep it bottled inside anymore.
I sit up so suddenly a feeling of dizziness washes over me, he follows behind me and the same look of worry comes back to cast a shadow over his features.
“Are you sure you’re fine? Why did you sit up so suddenly?” He questions with concern now thick in his tone, raising an eyebrow at my current actions.
Taking a deep breath before the word vomit begins without my permission and I can’t get it to stop no matter how hard my brain screams at me to stop.
“I can’t keep this hidden anymore, sorry in advance but…” I pause for a second, contemplating my decision before my mouth grows a mind of its own and decides for me.
“I’m in love with you. And I-I am for years now but I was always scared to admit it because of all of the girlfriends you’ve had that were way prettier than I could ever be, I’m so sorry for keeping this from you when we promised to not keep secrets from each other and tell each other everything that’s on our mind…”
After my small ramble I grow out of breath and my breathing grows slightly heavy, looking up at him I see his expression is unreadable so my apologetic instinct switches on.
“I’m really sorry, I know you probably don’t feel the same way and might hate me after this. I’m sorry if this could ruin our friendship in any way and I don’t want it to, I’m so fucking so-“
My words suddenly get cut off by Chris grabbing ahold of my jaw and smashing his lips on mine, instantly shutting my moving mouth up.
I’m at a loss of all words that I wanted to speak in that moment, my mind becomes blurry as I melt completely into the kiss and slowly start to kiss him back.
The kiss feels magical, like taken out of a fairytale. Finally finding my Prince Charming or sharing a kiss that’ll save me and erase all of the problems I’ve ever encountered in my life.
When we finally pull away from each other, I look at him in complete shock but a hint of relief in my features is only visible if you look for it hard enough.
“Why did you do that?” I question, feeling confused by his actions since I was sure I would get rejected by him but am so glad I didn’t.
“To stop you from rambling all night long” He confesses the reason behind the unexpected kiss, a smile growing on his face as a reaction to my confused expression.
“I thought you would get weirded out and reject me.” I as well confess to the reason I’m so confused right now, the relief slowly becoming more noticeable on my face.
“It doesn’t matter now what I could have done, so don’t worry about that now” He answers, the smile growing on his face. His hand reaches and lands on my cheek, caressing it with his thumb in an almost loving way that makes a smile of my own form on my lips.
“You’re way to calm about this right now, it’s concerning” I slip out with a hint of joking in my voice to lighten the tense air surrounding us, we share a laugh together before his lips land on mine again. Both of us smilling into the kiss as we fall back onto the ground and share another passionate kiss under the starry night, almost like a starry kiss…
@hearts4wertka
authors note: i’m so sorry that writing and posting fics has taken me a bit longer than expected but I don’t really have motivation or the drive to write so my head has been a bit empty lately, anyway thank you guys so much for the feedback on any of my fics I seriously really appreciate it and I love every single one of you! 💋
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Hi!!!! I Love love love your fic, and I have a question! An inquiry if you must lol. I was reading the tags again, and I noticed the skip Westcott tag. Are you going to approach the topic? Like, other than Peter suffering that trauma, when he eventually opens up to the bat family, will he talk about it?? Will dick talk about his own experience with Tarantula? I'm so excited to see your take since you put some hints that skip was maybe his caretaker at some point? Like foster dad or maybe I'm genuinely just tripping and mixing with other fics.
ALSO incredibly excited to see what happened to him with the experiments!!! It's extremely vague but im so needing that angst!!!! I really want to see more of Peter's life before coming to Gotham, before even meeting Tony!
hiii!! ty for the love!! :)
i spent ages looking for an ask i got a while ago about this topic but i can't find it for some reason? so if anyone is able to find it for me, i'd like to link it to this post and i'd appreciate the help!!
EDIT: perpetuallypanicky found the post!
(warning for under the tag: talking about Skip Westcott and Tarantula, which covers the topic of SA. please take care of yourself)
Peter will eventually talk about Skip Westcott. I can't say how much he says because I haven't actually written the conversation yet, but at the moment, it's more alluded to that it is talked about. It's a conversation for way later in another part of the series I have planned for LoF, which actually has an entire plotline about Peter's past and how it connects to his future. But he will open up and talk about it at some point. I think in the road trip arc (chapter 15 I think?) I have it planned for Peter to talk about Skip in some context with Dick (mainly, he tells Dick the most he's ever told anyone about the day he was bit by the spider), but not fully.
(And if that changes, it will 100% be warned in the beginning with the other trigger warnings I put in beginning chapter notes.)
That's mostly because Peter still hasn't processed that yet. He hasn't even told his therapist (I briefly mentioned a few times in Peter's POV's that he has gone to therapy, but I should probably make sure it's known that he doesn't go so often that he's gotten through the biggest parts of his past).
As for Tarantula... I talked about this in the Lost Post (this thing disappeared???) so I should probably mention it again. But Tarantula did NOT happen in this au.
There's a huge reason for it, and that's because I hate Devin Grayson, the writer who put that shit in there. I don't want her attached to LoF in any form, even if I'm writing to bash it.
That's not saying that Dick isn't still a survivor of SA. He's still going to have that be a part of his past as well, with some of the other instances. (There's another instance with Catwoman that's just... no.) So I'm not erasing that part of his history. I just hate Devin Grayson.
Which means that when Dick does find out (and he will), there's gonna be a big reaction. For the most part, when it comes to What Happened, I won't be going into details, nor flashbacks, stuff like that. It'll be about the impact of those times, and how Peter and Dick are recovering, though they do talk about it.
Also, Skip was Peter's last foster parent before Tony, you're right. He's probably just a little older than Dick, I'd say, around mid thirties? He was responsible for Peter for a little while but Peter ended up running away that day he got bit, and Skip hasn't fostered since.
And as for the experiments: I'm excited to write about it more. Peter and Dick also talk about this, and in some more detail than the Westcott talk. It's about time that Dick learned how Tony got Peter's complete trust,,,, a little sneak peak into that,,,, :)
There's actually so much about Peter's backstory that I sometimes wonder if there's things that I wouldn't be able to get to in LoF... It just means that I've been considering writing a prequel one day
#erinwantstowrite#ao3#ao3 fanfic#leap of faith ao3#leap of faith catch me if you can#leap of faith#peter parker#thank you for the ask!#tarantula DC#devin grayson i hate you so much#dick grayson#my love dick grayson#:((#nightwing
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@carpediemma made a poll post about which characters would be who in an alice in wonderland au and none of the one's winning are the ones i want so i will now be justifying my thesis
alice - niko. above all else, alice must be curious and kind. she is also afraid, a lot, because she's in a wild new world - very similar of how niko is scared and in a new world (both ghost/supernatural, america, and a world without her father)
white rabbit - edwin. polite yet preoccupied, punctual yet anxious, obsessive yet unpredictable, always dressed smart... the similarities go on. and while i think some of their actions might not align entirely, i think there is a case to be made for edwin shewing someone along, insisting it must be done his own way
mad hatter - charles. playful, defiant to social norms, bit of an eccentric dress style! though charles is a bit less over the top, i feel that in the right environment, he could go totally mad. hatter has a lot of fun but there is this hint of despair to him which to me, entirely emulates charles
the dormouse - jenny. tired, confused, and underpaid, next question
the march hare - maxine. unpredictable, bizarre, reckless, excitable. not a huge character so not too much to go from but i see some loose similarities in the erratic nature - it's not that they're evil, it's that they're so invested in existence that they might stab you
please do not think of the implications of shipping the dormouse and the march hair i will not be held responsible for that
tweedledee and tweedledum - litty and kingham. petty?? childish?? looks similar??? guys come ON there is no more iconic duo in dbda! they're not very kind, they're not anti violence, they love attention- am i talking about the tweedles, or litty and kingham? you literally can't tell.
the caterpillar - tragic mick. appears when alice is uncertain and needs help, prompts her to reflect on her own identity. not particularly nice but is very helpful and kind, in his own way. calm, almost cryptic, slow manner of speech.
cheshire cat - the cat king. im not gonna explain this one
ok guys bare with me for the next two. they're kinda controversial. i could see them flipped and i did flip them many times but this is what i decided on
the duchess - esther. the duchess is abusive to her child (monty), but can be overly affectionate, as well. duchess is hella comedic in a dark way, she's got a fucked up relationship with power (duchess is a slave to the Queen, esther is a slave to the Snake), she's absurdly contradictory (like esther and her contradiction of wronging girls using lilith's gift)
the queen of hearts - the night nurse. the queen cannot see a way of life other than executions. i know she SEEMS hella emotional, but legit, i think it's more this desperate desire for feelings and sensations because she is so stuck in a loop of being listened to. the night nurse is similarly stuck in this loop of bureaucracy. neither are happy and neither have any true meaning to their lives. they both also seem to lack a nuance to empathy (nurse thinking ends justify the means so no need to feel guilty about the means, almost viewing finding the boys as a game in order to feel SOMETHING). neither would not survive a day in therapy
the king of hearts - kashi. foil to the queen of hearts, very minor character. gentle, soft spoken, trying his best, exists more in his own universe than anywhere else. the key difference is if they went to therapy, kashi's therapist would end up getting therapied, and king would just break down sobbing
the knave of hearts - monty. while if esther was the queen, maybe this would be more apt, but this is my analysis so i'll do what i want. the knave is a victim of absurd injustice, is somewhat sympathetic but ultimately a perpetuater of this same system. monty does the same thing with esther & her abuse. he is also young and handsome which, we've all seen joshua colley, i don't need to explain
the talking rose - crystal (with/pre-david.) haughty, mean, cruel, flirtatious. she's not a villain but she's definitely not on your side. she's critical, both of your looks, personality, and general vibe. but she's also just one of the many flowers, kind of how crystal was just one of the rich kids, not really doing all that much
in this version, i'd have when the flower's roots are freed be the same energy as the boy's getting rid of david. moment of self-transformation, free from curse. i will probably make a follow up post on how i'd do the plot, but i wanted to throw that bit on david out there.
#yes i KNOW i combined alice in wonderland & looking glass characters fight me#dead boy detectives#alice in wonderland#edwin payne#charles rowland#crystal palace#niko sasaki#the cat king#jenny the butcher
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Hello! I have a question that may be a tad uncomfortable but I don't know who could answer honestly. How do you get over class with a professor who self identifies as your mentor/father? He spilled his guts to me after class and told me how happy he was he connected to a young girl like me(Im 19 he's 59). He will be my prof for the ENTIRE year. I don't know how to feel, it wasn't flirty at all, and I actually think he sees himself in me. He's odd and off putting and stand offish. I am too, kinda. He said if shouldn't feel lonely because Im different, because I have my family, and now him (also Implied i should find god).
He's a conservative catholic with a wife and kids, I can tell he doesn't mean it in a weird way. He probably means well. But it's odd that he's acting like a mentor when I've only known him for a month.
Now, I thought this chat wouldn't affect me but he psychoanalysed me and it felt like he saw right through me while treating me like his therapist. I also think he's a lonely man who is projecting, seeing my potential and "what could've been" for himself.
How do I cope? I don't want this to affect me, but it pushed me terribly off axis. I felt pigeonholed, more than anything, and also feel bad for him.
WELP. Okay, first of all, I want to reinforce that this is NOT your fault and that it clearly creeped you out to the point where you decided to ask someone for help, all of which means that the situation is not okay and he does NOT have the right to do any of this -- whether forcing emotional intimacy on you after a very short time, suggesting that you Find Jesus and/or convert, hinting that he wants to "mentor" you, or whatever. Just because he's a conservative Catholic is no guarantee that it won't get creepier (indeed, often the total opposite) and even if it wasn't sexual or didn't feel sexual at the moment, that is... wrong. He should not have done it. He does not have the right to decide He Is Now Your Mentor and to push that connection on you. Even if it was not conscious or intentional grooming behavior, it is... squicky to say the least, showed that he was willing to push boundaries with you right away, and is certainly something that should make you cautious of any more uncontrolled or one-on-one interaction with him. So yeah. Gross. "Now you have me so you won't be lonely"??? Sorry, there is no scenario in which I can imagine that being an okay thing for a professor to say to a student. No. It may be that he just doesn't have a good sense of social boundaries or appropriate behavior, but that also doesn't mean you need to excuse it.
Next, if you can switch to another section or class so you don't have to spend the year with him, that might be worth looking into. If you can't, then obviously minimize the time you spend one-on-one (if there are office hours or if you need help with the class, maybe ask your peers or the TA if there is one, rather than him) and remember that you can tell people at your university if it continues to creep you out, not just me. There are procedures in place at most institutions to document this kind of interaction if it continues to cross a line (I don't know where you are in the world, but in the university where I work in the US, there's an office of Title IX, which deals with these kinds of issues). Older male academics smarming up to young female students and telling them they're "special" happens a lot, unfortunately, and while it doesn't always end terribly, it is something that you deservedly flagged as weird and which you should keep an eye on going forward. I'm sorry that you've experienced this and once again offer my support in navigating this year in as un-icky a way as possible. Please remember that you do not have to apologize for or excuse yourself for making choices to get out of a weird situation that clearly threw you for a loop, and you do not have to put up with this behavior if it continues or gets worse. Good luck.
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