#him and his high horse sometimes smh

[kikirumbleroom]

Also how fucking dare you Charles. Blaming Magneto for turning the X-men against each other? Like they don't have minds of their own. Like they weren't there and capable of making their own decisions? Magneto simply placed his philosophy and thoughts down for everyone to hear--Roberto and Rogue made their own decisions based on experience, grief and pain. How can you blame the man for that--especially when your absence probably made things worse and your current presence didn't help shit?

If you're feeling guilty over your absence, that's fine. But don't pin the decisions of others on Magneto. He is a charismatic speaker yes, but he didn't force anyone. Rogue is a full grown ass woman. Roberto..still a youth but still capable of making decisions. What happened with his mother obviously hurt him and given his age, it was an understandable reaction. But the decision was still his.

Everything else he said was fair--but blaming Magneto for the X-men making their own damn decisions to join him? Nah.

[buckysgrace]

Gator Tillman Headcanons

Just some random thoughts I had about baby boy tonight <3

I for sure think he was born premature? A teeny tiny little baby with big brown eyes lol.

Definitely got doted on because of his huge eyes and messy hair. Very hyper kid too, always needed to be doing something. Probably a biter tbh (spanked a lot sadly smh)

Threw an absolute fit when he was itty bitty and they were weening him off of the pacifier. That was his paci damn it!

Grew to love snakes because his mom hated them and he was quick to remove them from her garden. He thought it was funny to chase her while holding them

Roy use to make Linda keep it in a buzz cut because he hated how long it was on Gator. Thus, leaving Gator to find his own style when he was old enough.

He definitely showed cattle when he was younger. His favorite cow was named Rosie and he won several ribbons for how well kept she was <3

Knows how to ride a horse but doesn't have a desire to do so. Plus his lower back and hips are always so sore after

Prefers dogs over cats, but you best believe any time a cat is around him they're all up in his business

I also think he struggled with asthma when he was little too?? He hasn't had an attack in years but still carries an inhaler around

(don't bring up him vaping while having asthma, he gets very defensive and irritated lol)

Never been out of his hometown unless he needed to travel for competitions or for work. Probably never been on a real vacation before either.

I think he was always tall and lanky but stopped growing his sophomore year of high school?? He always wanted to be taller tho

Was in the FFA obviously.

Being an all-state quarter back I'm sure he had a ton of college offers? I imagine he was fairly average in school, probably enjoyed science more than anything else

Had a really hard time after his mom "left". I think he had a lot of anger issues at this time

His leg injury blew away any chances of him really believing that he could do better for himself, so he followed in Roys footsteps

He gets cold easy, so he always bundles up into layers and layers.

Sucks at cooking. Could not boil water to save his life. I think that he'd take cooking lessons later in life (or learn from someone hehe)

Has a surprisingly good green thumb if he'd keep up with it

Enjoys drawing in his free time and is actually really good at it.

Cannot survive anywhere where it gets too hot. He burns easily

He's in church every Sunday (sometimes Wednesday nights too, depending on his shifts) but it doesn't stop his potty mouth

Car lover of course. Likes to work on vehicles too. Occasionally welds I believe.

Loves going to car shows, or to tractor pulls lol

Most of his tattoos were random, little afterthoughts or done while he was drunk. I think he bought his own tattoo kit but opted out of it.

Flirts like a middle school boy. Will poke and prod at you, lots and lots of teasing. If you meet at a bar you best believe he's gonna be showing you all of his cool drinking tricks lol

A surprisingly good big brother, although Karen thinks he's a bad influence so he doesn't get to spend much time with them

Big fan of Game of Thrones but also loves Golden Girls lmao. And Westerns.

Does that thing where he acts like he's not interested in what's on TV but then he stands there with his hands on his hips watching the whole time lol

Do not ask him to pick you up something for the store, he will not find it

When he's high on weed he's very giggly; thinks everything is hilarious. Will absolutely lay underneath the stars and try to explain the way the universe works. Very snuggly and has the worst munchies (devours a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos in one sitting smh)

Will drink coffee (usually with a protein shake mixed in) but he 100% prefers energy drinks

Jack Daniels and PBR are obviously his drinks of choice hehe. Although he does love a good margarita occasionally

Absolutely devours some Taco Bell after he gets off the night shift. He always gets a box with a chalupa, beefy 5-layer burrito, and the fiesta potatoes but he's also getting a cheesy gordita crunch and the Cinnabon delights. And a Baja Blast. Mans has worked hard and he's hungry lmao

Hates ankle socks

For a late night snack he is breaking open something sweet. I imagine he prefers Heath bars and 100 Grand Bars.

He also loves carrot cake

[horribletimemanagementskills]

Bad Twst Cast Descriptions + headcanons(?)

i had no idea how to title this at first

DISCLAIMER:

in no way am i trying to offend anyone, i like the TWST cast and their shenanigans and the ENG. translation is hilarious, albeit a little weird and some exclusion of lore Where are Cater's sisters but noone is safe from slander, not even my favorites.

Kinda headcanony from the fact these are things i imagine the staff would do.

***This is blunt and cursing and slight spoiler warning***

~*~*~*~

- - -

RAMSHACKLE how is this dorm still standing:

YUU/MC - I don't mean this about your Yuusonas, but canonically they are barely acknowledged and are pretty dumb at times /lh

GRIM - adorable cat troublemaker lacking situational awareness, both unintentionally and intentionally.

- - -

HEARTSLAYBUL too many rules dorm:

RIDDLE - short redhead prodigy with mommy issues, also does horse riding. (theres more but nahh)

TREY - Contradicting baker but also dental care guy who acknowledged and was concerned, but ignored his friend's (short redhead) tyranny and his mental state till the last minute. look I appreciate Treys character and personality but I have to slander him on this

CATER - Social Media obsessed 3rd year, I don't know how he has gotten this far in academics. Also in Eng. TWST he speaks so weird, its amazing.

DEUCE - "retired" delinquent but a mama's boy (I adore his mother), he is generally a good person but holy shit he is dumb at times. smart but dumb 1

ACE - funny but annoying piece of shit, good tact but makes all the wrong decisions, I like him but I also want to push him down a flight of stairs sometimes. smart but dumb 2

- - -

SAVANACLAW furry dorm :

LEONA - Lion man with an inferiority complex, and he is very intelligent but is also 20yo in high school lmao point and laugh /lh

RUGGIE - Not officially the second in command in the dorm but he sure does act like one (rightfully so), he is Leona's babysitter right hand man.

JACK - Tsundere with high sense of justice. also ik he is a wolf beastman and athlete but hE IS THE SECOND TALLEST IN THE CAST AT 16 HOW-

- - -

OCTANIVELLE fish mafia dorm:

AZUL - a messed up dhar mann video, he was bullied so much he became the top of his class and a very successful student business man, exploiting his schoolmates as Monstro Lounge in a admittedly clever and a twisted sort of fair way.

JADE - Calm and calculated bastard with a mushroom obsession, too tall and Floyd's twin. Also I'm pretty sure he intentionally tries to poison people with unknown mushrooms in his dish wtf.

FLOYD - Feral and moody bastard who may or may not squeeze the life out of you with no remorse I bet he has broken some ribs. also has nicknames for everyone. Once cm taller than Jade, his twin but their too tall to see it in the first place.

- - -

SCARABIA Don't stop partying dorm:

KALIM - Look party boy is probably the nicest person in the school, learns quick and has great emotional intelligence, but give Jamil a break holy shit, i like you a lot but you are a emotionally mature man child.

JAMIL - man has been babysitting Kalim since they were kids because of his family, is very capable and intelligent but is willing to do immoral things, like kidnapping. Yes I am salty iykyk.

- - -

POMEFIORE the elegant but little chill dorm:

VIL - this man doesn't care for gender roles (pop off) and i do like his character but if he could tone down the self care criticism harshness especially on Epel that would be great.

ROOK - stalker. Very cool but wtf he creeps me out. Also if you know you know but even though I understand his point of view, I'm still annoyed about the VDC stuff smh.

EPEL - that one character trope about how innocent and cute a person looks, but they are actually a feral little shit. He gets mistaken for a girl a lot but wants to be masculine (to a kinda toxic level? idk how to say it), also did I mention he is a country boy?

also isnt this the oldest dorm after ramshackle, most of the students do act like cranky old people sometimes /j

- - -

IGNIHYDE shut-in headquarters:

IDIA - otaku go touch some grass, I can't blame him for having social anxiety but I have to say he does act like a bitch most of the time.

ORTHO - Robo boy who I'm pretty sure isn't even a student. Cares for his brother a lot but poor thing can't drag him outside for the life of him, even though I'm pretty sure he doesn't have one I'm sorry Ortho is my favorite I cant find any slander besides this.

- - -

DIASOMNIA why is it so ominous dorm:

MALLEUS - Lonely prince who likes ice cream, he is one of my favorites but I also had mistaken him goat beastman at one point, also I liked Tsuntaro but wtf is Hornton? I love it lmao. Also he loves gargoyles. Also WHY IS HE SO TALL WHAT

LILIA - I can't call him an old man so I'm calling him one old ass fae. man keeps up a cute boy appearance but has a deep voice and raised silver + has been to war countless times, kinda sketchy but funny.

SILVER - Lilia's child, I don't want to invalidate or assume that he has narcolepsy, but it seems close enough how have any doctors in TWST not realized this. Also when is Lilia gonna give him a last name? Chill but just a little less dense than Kalim.

SEBEK - half fae half human, parents are a damn power couple but this guy still choses to look down on humans. I call him celery head because why not and also for the JP fans, WAKA-SAMAAA!!!

- - -

NRC STAFF why are you people willingly dealing with NCR students, its not worth it :

CROWLEY - Look I respect him for taken Yuu/MC in the school because of the magic mirror mishap, but he so sketchy istg. Also I am convinced this irresponsible old crow is a fae you can't tell me otherwise.

CREWEL - Alchemy/Science teacher of NRC, wears one big ass fur coat and I think he laughs at his students suffering after he intentionally makes the answer A for 10 questions straight. Also can he chill on the puppies and master thing like jeez its funny but I think he would have almost gotten sued by parents more than once for talking like does to his students lmao /j

VARGAS - muscle man is too buff wtf, also he eats raw eggs I bet with the shells as well. I am pissed off of the end of the Vargas Camp event in the JP game. also how many shirts has this man torn when flexing like students and staff would be placing bets-

TREIN - I'll confess he is my favorite teacher of NRC, I adore Lucius and like history a lot, but I'm surprised this old man hasn't had a stroke from what ever the hell the students do at NRC. Also please tell Lucius to stop meowing during your lectures, we already have to deal with Grim and the ADeuce/"Hunting season" duo.

SAM - Shopkeeper who has everything, I bet he would almost trick you to sell your soul for a toothbrush just to laugh with his friends on the other side. Also wouldn't he have a lot of blackmail on NRC staff and students because I bet the paintings and ghosts tell them.

- - -

this was in the draft for too long its still half baked forgive me lol

[melting-tofu]

Um hello there! this is my first time asking for a request so im sorry in advance if I did anything wrong :') may I as for a head cannon whereby kaeya /xiao /diluc /zhongli / childe (just one of them is fine too) 's s/o has a difficult pregnancy and baby arrival? ** is up to you whether it ends fluffy or angst - I'm sorry if it sounds abit weird and isok's if you don't do it :'/ Hope you have a nice day though and can't wait to read more =w=

Oh I- I panicked a lot while writing this- Sorry for making you wait for so long! And for not including Zhongli :(, I don't really get how I should properly put this together tbh I have never written something like this before, so this is not very close to the request, and I can't go into details the baby arrival part ;_;

Note: Female reader.... that's it, unless pregnancy topic could be triggering.

-> Navigation

-------

Childe:

。He's so excited he can't even decide the one who will be more childish is him or his child.

。Claims that he knows so so so well about taking care of children because he has lots of siblings.

。Will not dispute further if you say a child is different from a sibling.

。Oh he's a harbinger, he has so much work to do :( He puts high hope on his family that they can be there for you and often send letters home.

。If the letters return to him saying you're not well he goes total panicked he doesn't know how to put it to words into the new one he's writing, even when he can, he wonders how long will it take to reach you...

。When he's home, he can spend hours for you and the unborn baby.

。Words can't describe how affectionate he is ;_;

"Oh, oh! Did you feel that? Like something just brushed up my hand? Or someone... is it the little one?"

。Really cries when he arrives just in time to see his child, he's just so happy and sometimes wishes he is not a part of the fatui to have as much time with his new family as he can.

Diluc:

。This man, his usual annoyed face that you sometimes dislike suddenly doesn't exist anymore.

。Like, he always puts on a soft look now.

。It's clear to tell when he's worried, when he panics, all for you <3

。Very protective, all you need to do is rest, he will do the other things and keep his eyes on you, and when he's not present then his maids will.

。Why does he seem so professional when he handles things smh as if he had a wife before, actually it's just because he reads lots of books-

。Seriously just when he gently holds, caresses and kisses are enough to soothe your pain away..

。One of your daily activities will be him humming a soft tune while hugging you from the back, his hands wander around your belly.

"Don't give me that look. Oh? You have never heard me singing before? Then all you need to do is ask... Hmmm now I'm doing this because I think.. the baby will love it."

。When he gets to see his child for the first time, he tries not to break into tears you can tell how happy he is.

Kaeya:

。The chad husbando and father.

。You have no idea how long he had been preparing for this- he already came up with some names for your child... what.

。He isn't strictly protective tho, he allows you to have some 'freedom' but don't let him spot you doing something that involves moving too much.

。He may be more busy than Diluc and he doesn't have maids :( so he possibly asks for countless days off to take care of you, and oh the Acting Grand Master takes pity on him-

。Don't worry of being lonely during your difficult time, he will even give too much affections than needed.

。At night he likes to hold you in bed while musing or childishly ranting about Diluc to the baby who isn't even born yet.

"When you grow up, if you want to become a knight then it's best that you don't become a Cavalry Captain like me... because there aren't any horses in Mondstadt, and you won't be able to spend much time with your mother due to how much work you will have... even without horses."

。For the first time in your entire life you see his soft as ever gaze when his eyes first land on his child, he abandons all the names he ever thought of before (unless you like them) and quickly thinks of a new one.

Xiao:

。Are you being serious to the Vigilant Yaksha that you're pregnant with him??

。So you know Xiao's true form? Yea, your child is really going to be half illuminated beast half human.

。Please- he is so scared of his karma and what it can do to you and the baby :'(

。He doesn't want to keep a distance either... he doesn't want to be unaffectionate and if he's not there to protect you all then who is?

。Overprotective is the right word to describe how he can be, he has to/he must make sure you're safe, tho he isn't sure what to do at first, but he is determined to learn: make sure you have well eaten, you have enough rest, ect. omg why are mortals so complicated.

。As long as you're in his eye sight then all you have to do is nothing, just tell him and he literally does everything, and no he is not letting you do it.

。His favorite things to do include him holding you in bed, it's either you nuzzle up his chest or he does it with your body, he just wants to be this close.

"Once you wake up tomorrow you can look at me as much as you want, now stop staring and close your eyes, sleep, if you don't then the baby is not going to rest either..."

。Xiao is rendered a sobbing mess when the child arrives, he just really loves this family and promises to protect and to keep you all happy.

[davyjoneslockr]

mista for the ask game?

Hell yes my beloved guy

favorite thing about them: I love memeing about how funny it is that the personification of his soul is just six little guys, but also there's a lot of layers with his stand that I adore so so much. Like, the fact that he actually has to take care of the Pistols, combined with his sorta protective behavior regarding the rest of the gang (esp Narancia), is really sweet and kinda heartbreaking in hindsight. Also, I definitely read a lot of his superstitions as OCD-related (he's just like me woah), and the Pistols keep him on a comforting routine, so there's that angle, too. Also the thing from PHF that mentions stands in multiple parts/colonies being representative of something deeply sad or broken in the user... yeah :)

least favorite thing about them: I'm always torn about the opening scene from PHF because I love both Mista and Fugo dearly, and I can definitely see where they're both coming from (in fact, I'd say I sympathize with Mista a little more), but like. At the same time. Buddy. That's your friend. Chill out.

favorite line: Every single line he says in the dub plays in my brain on loop 24/7

brOTP: Oh I have SO many. I adore platonic Fugo + Mista and Torture Dance Trio obviously, but I also think (in an everyone lives AU where they don't hate each other post-VA lol) his friendship with Giorno is super funny. Just Local Disaster Man looks at Scarily Competent Maybe Evil Kid and is like "we are best friends now :) let's go to mcdonald's I'll get you a happy meal :)" He definitely tries to give Giorno life advice, and it's mostly terrible, but Giorno will sometimes take it seriously because there's a part of him that thinks of Mista as his cool big brother. Also, Mista and Trish are canon bffs, they hang out at the mall and paint their nails together

OTP: Good evening Naramis micronation <333 While they're sort of high-strung in their own ways, I like the concept of them being able to just be chill with each other, and just. Y'know. Do stupid things together, and find contentment in a way that their lives don't otherwise allow them to. They strike me as two people who just naturally work well together. Also, I love the dynamic of "chaotic dumbasses who probably spend their dates setting things on fire in a Target parking lot, but are somehow role models for a super well-adjusted and healthy couple"

nOTP: oh no fingers crossed I don't wanna start discourse I don't like Giomis tbh. Their platonic dynamic is fun (and their like. weird beef in PHF is super interesting), but I just cannot see them working romantically at all. Mista, especially, I can't picture ever developing feelings for Giorno, even in an AU where everyone turns out fine. Idk, it seems boring at best and toxic at worst.

random headcanon: Oh I have so many and I think I've already shared a bunch, but I feel like talking about the "Hol Horse is Mista's dad" thing. I know it's like a popular joke theory because Guns, but I think it's also legitimately interesting if you draw parallels between Hol Horse/Dio and Mista/Giorno. Like, the PHF bonus chapter, to me, is really reminiscent of the scene from SDC where Hol Horse tries to shoot Dio, but ultimately backs down and is sort of manipulated into keeping his loyalty. Maybe someday I'll write an elaborate post or a fic about this or something.

unpopular opinion: He's not just stupid comic relief!! He's not just Generic Cardboard Cutout Horny Man to throw into spicy fanfics!! He's an interesting character and I love him dearly!!

song i associate with them: Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head by BJ Thomas. He just wanted to have a simple and pleasant life, smh canon.

favorite picture of them: I love the color palette in this scene so much it's so fucking sick

[potatotrash0]

Imagine them staying on the island and Nagito is so protective over his little siblings hhhh they're all a big family now and the Warriors love themmmm

Despite having completely forgotten all that happened to her, Nagito doesn't allow Teruteru near Kotoko unless supervised and Nagito gets scary when he's supervising so he usually just stays away (nagi knows teru wouldn't do/say anything to the children, but he's very overprotective and low-key scared that they will remember everything someday)

Ryota is Jataro's favorite. They're working on a short anime together. He sometimes does artsy stuff with Ibuki (it gets a little crazy with all the paint and glue everywhere), and Kazuichi gets along great with both him and Masaru

Masaru and Nekomaru are nearly inseparable, and he loves Akane too (she has to be supervised because she doesn't understand how climbing and jumping off buildings could be dangerous and Nagito almost died the first time he saw them hanging out)

Kotoko adores Sonia, she's being taught how to be a little princess too. They play dress up together often and have tea parties. She likes Gundham too, but it's mostly just because of his cute animals. He got her a little bunny and she dresses it up in cute little outfits

Monaka's favorite is Izuru, and she likes Imposter as well. She likes solving puzzles and coding games with Izuru (I hc it's a hobby of his, in memory of Chiaki and all), and she's programmed a few of Kazuichi's creations

Nagisa sticks with Hajime the most, he helps out with the chores and they mostly just talk. They go to the library with Nagito at least once a week and read together. Hajime and Nagito are the only ones he's not afraid of asking help from.

Nagito is all the WoH's #1 fave. Monaka and Nagisa like to just chat, read or play puzzle-like games with him. Jataro likes to draw with and on him, and Masaru loves him dearly but prefers to hang out with the others (Nagito can't keep up with all the running around). Kotoko gives him makeovers all the time, she loves his fluffy hair and compared him to her bunny (probably put the bunny on his head once to see if it'd blend into his hair). He's constantly walking around with makeup, thousands of cutesy hair pins and random hairstyles and (a bit messy) nail polish. He never takes anything off, and Kotoko is very proud of herself for making him look "adorable" (he thanks her for her hard work). They've all called him dad at least once (Nagisa also called Hajime dad one time).

Nagisa and Kotoko start secretly working together to make Nagito and Hajime start dating already, and soon all five kids are coming up with plans and scheming how to make operation komahina a success. The others on the island help out sometimes

Cries..........this ask is everything to me hold on. This is so cute. Anon I love you (/p) your brain is so goddamn huge. I’m sobbing over literally all of the Nagisa hcs and Kotoko giving Nagito makeovers they’re all so cute

Ryota and Jataro 🥺🥺💞💖 I wonder what kinda anime it would be? My bet’s on a magical girl or mecha anime. Maybe a comedy? Idk man but I do know Ibuki and Jataro would rope Kazuichi into letting them dye his hair for him. He ends up with extra eye-searing neon strips in green and yellow. It clashes horribly with his jumpsuit and they all love it

Nagito panicking over Masaru and Akane is hilarious skfnskdnksbx I can just see him almost crying out of relief when Nekomaru finally gets them off the roof and Masaru back safely into his arms. (You clearly hear Masaru complaining about it but he does hug Nagito back.) Akane’s careful in her own way, she’s a big sister herself after all. Buuut Nagito still worries bc seeing her dangle Masaru from her bicep when they were on top of the barn was absolutely terrifying

Sonia Gundham Kotoko dynamic so real?? Gundham considers Kotoko more Nagito’s kid but he does let her run around with the Devas when asked. Also she basically just claimed one of the horses on the island and Gundham insists on teaching her how to “properly tame the dark steeds!!” (He means how to take care of them and not scare them. She’s like. 10, he doesn’t want her or the horses getting hurt.)

Also!!! Sonia and Kotoko playing dress up is so cute? I like to think they curtsey every time they see each other and it’s a little inside joke between them haha. Also them braiding each other’s hair!! Kotoko probably borrows a ton of ribbons from Sonia

Izuru and Monaca coding together!!!! I feel like she would be curious about the NWP, maybe they work on it together while Hajime rests. Also I can totally see her programming Kazu’s inventions to mess with him a bit because she thinks it’s funny how high he jumps skjfskdnksbx. He’s super suspicious of whatever she hands him now but she’s genuinely helpful a lot of the time so he isn’t too too hard on her. (She’s still not allowed to have access to any remotes though)

(Also Izuru making little games in honor of Chiaki has me so soft I’m in love—)

Nagisa calling Hajime “dad” has me 🥺🥺 your honor I am simply a sucker for these two...........him asking Hajime and Nagito for help and them only also made me kinda wanna tear up a little but me being emotional over him isn’t the point

Back to Matchmakers of Hope now huh dkfjskdnkd. I like to think Komaeda and Hajime look at each other after the kids slip up and reveal that they were trying to get the two together and both of them just snort. Their kids basically had to push them together smh

[organic-guacamole]

episode 209 spoilers below

I'm so late today but here it is

I love EJ, he's finally learning to be happy. I'm so proud.

Ms Jenn = every boomer during zoom calls, like jeez yes we can hear you stop shouting at me.

LOVE THE SUBTLE JOKE ABOUT QUARANTINE "these dark times" "you mean spring break?"

ah yes, remember when we thought covid was just gonna give us a longer spring break? good times

SEBLOS

damn the passive aggressiveness from Carlos and the absolutely over it tone from seb✋

CASWELL COUSINS!!!!! THEY'RE THE BEST!!!!

we needed more if this kind of goofiness for the first part of season 2 that only such an iconic duo can provide.

old old movies-

is it even that old, or is Nini being a gen alpha rn-

i choose to imagine EJ being scared of the movie and hiding in Ashlyn's shoulder while she keeps a straight face and then EJ pretending to be tough afterwards

aww redlyn are soulmates.... yknow, if gingers had souls

(please ignore me)

y'all saw how EJ's face *lit up* when Gina logged on? how dare you tell me he doesn't like her

ofc she's no damsel in distress, she's Gina porter, she's amazing.

so do we think she'd be the type to just glare at suspicious people? or bark at them

do they not know that Rini broke up? or is Ms Jenn just wanting Nini to suffer through her heartbreak to make her a better actress....

speaking of, why is Nini in the call? she's not in the show anymore. Unless she is, even after the rose and the song got cut, which would be so unfair to all those that auditioned properly before she even came back but whatever, she's the main character I get it 🙄

big red is a hero honestly, Nini better thank him for changing the subject like that

I can't-

i won't work you over the break-

this woman would 100% work her kids 24/7 if it was legal and idk how to feel about it.

YES GINA USE THAT CHARM

QUEEN

FRENCH QUEEN

SHE LEARNT FROM THE BEST (antoine obvi)

smh the airport lady, eavesdropping on Gina's call.

The way she was so happy to answer EJ's call, "eej"

I love them your honour.

EJ WITH PAINTED NAILS YES PLEASE

great now we need to see Gina, Ashlyn and EJ having a complete spa day and EJ getting really into it and Gina and Ashlyn take pictures of him when he's laying down in a robe with a mask and cucumbers on his eyes.

finally we get to see Gina's side of portwell

the way she considered it as flirting, this is the sign she asked for in episode 6 come onnnnn

no is Asher/jack really doing tiktok dances in an airport-

Ricky is me. I am burrito.

oh Lynne, sweetie, I'm sorry but the blonde hair is not it

is that even the same lady or-

THE BEAN

THE CHICAGO BEAN

THE BIG OLD METAL BEAN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY 😭

jetlag is my go to excuse for anything... I haven't travelled in 2 years.

"welcome to the Lynne and Mike gossip show. where we talk about our depressed son that we both neglect in certain ways! And now a word from our sponsor, Nord VPN..."

SO MANY CANDLES

WHAT DEMON IS LYNNE TRYING TO SUMMON IN HIS ROOM-

is Nina becoming social media obsessed EJ from season 1? AND SHE LIED ABOUT HAVING SONGS TOO PLEASE WHY ARW THEY RECYCLING THE SAME PLOT-

Gina smiling at the picture of her family on Instagram makes me so happy, idek why.

EJ's nails are so pretty, we needed to see it more (unless he had it on for the rest of the episode and I just.... didn't notice🧍🏽‍♀️)

oh not the tiktok kid✋

yes ma'am end this strange mans whole tiktok career

sir take a hint and leave

GINA NO DONT SAY YOUR LAST NAME HE COULD BE A HUMAN TRAFFICKER

Ricky, walking in style✨

weird kid, ok then Lynne, can't you see he's this close to the edge?

not all your fault baby Ricky, Nini sucks a bit more

RICKY YOU DIDN'T COME DOWN HARD ON THE SONG-

YOU ASKED WHAT IT WAS ABOUT AND SHE SHUT YOU DOWN-

PLEASE DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF

ok but the deleting comment thing was very bad

still don't know if I like Jack honestly

hmmm so Nini's calling herself Nini instead of Nina in her little egg seat, while trying to write a song without inspiration.... Nini, honey, Ricky was your muse, he inspired you to write all those songs, even if it wasn't good for the relationship.

that doesn't mean you gotta get back with him, or that you can't write a song that not about him butttt it'll take some time

the rainbow sticker in her box and her rainbow shirt-

anyways wbk she's not totally straight

Jack are you a criminal?

quick, Gina, check his ankle for a tracker

THE YES AND PRACTICE STRIKES AGAIN

the way Gina wasn't into it in episode 6 but she's used the technique twice now

stole her grandma's Pomeranian-

Jack where the hell did you pull that out from-

the fake crying killed me, that looks like so much fun though

anyone wanna raid a first class lounge with me?

wait so is jack not gonna go in with her?

wouldn't he go in too? help look for the credit card? SO CONFUSED

the first class lounge guy was so into the drama though, watch his face when they start arguing 😭

sorry to break this to you Kourtney, but you haven't even blocked the second act yet soooo...

take that as you will

I love how all of them are totally dissing the dance off

that's the most realistic part of this show tbh

shouldn't Nini have asked how she knew....since the start? why is the fact that her best friend has knowledge of a North high secret now dawning on her...

Howie is sweet honestly, at least he's trying to help. but I stand with Kourtney, don't take him back just because he sang an amazing song, and is giving you a heads up on what's gonna happen...

KOURTNEY IS ME TRYING TO LEAVE AN ONLINE CLASS

I hate school

ooo Nini's writing a song about bad internet connection 🤩🤩🤩

I never lie, except when I do-

son that is the creepiest thing you could say to a stranger that you've been "helping"

2 truths and a lie👀

he's an Ariana fan 100%

called it.

OLDER BROTHER-

WHAT-

free spirit? damn so brother porter was in that horse movie

so has she been kissed or not?????????

I feel like she's moved more than 15 times though so possibly

but then if she's moved so much, and before east high she never opened up to anyone, she's never been kissed then?? damn

same though Gina so let's be besties please

heartbreak president is a great song title idea, give Nini a call rn

but wait

is the no strings attached feeling thing about her telling Ricky she liked him? she thought she was moving away so she thought it'd be no strings attached???

guys I think I figured it out insert the "I've connected two dots" meme

THE DUKE SWEATSHIRT

IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND'S

OMG I LOVE I LOVE

NOT THAT I KNOW OF???

ma'am did you just kill me

yes you did

Lynne and Ricky have such a weird relationship

YES IT DID SUCK

TODD SUCKS

LYNNE SUCKS

yeah I get that you wanted Ricky to like Todd BUT THAT WASN'T THE TIME

right so we already know that Ricky was so desperate to keep Nini cuz he didn't want to be like his parents, and now Lynne's talking about this-

Richard needs a long hug

yes Lynne, it is your fault. thank you for finally admitting it.

YES DYE YOUR HAIR

BLOND HIGHLIGHTS RICKY WILL RISE AGAIN

"sometimes the best, last thing you can do for someone you love, is let them go."

gotta admit I teared up at that point

not me thinking big red was calling ms Jenn cupcake for a hot second-

Carlos please omg, you're at the "beach" and they're leaving for the pool?

also, why not just do the call from the hotel room please omg

"don't ask me"

"Carlos"

OMG WHAT HAPPENED

big red wants the tea

O M G

SEB IS JEALOUS

JEALOUS SEBBY IS MY FAVOURITE THING IDC

I'm surprised ms Jenn knew how to give Nini permission to screenshare tbh

So lily's been stalking the East high kids and spending time editing this video while she's supposedly in an immersion trip.... right

EJ and Ashlyn's picture is so chaotic, what even is happening there

"slacking off" bestie its spring break, obviously they're confident enough that they'll get it done in time so why not focus on your own musical.

jealous seb = sassy seb

please what if those guys Carlos is posing with are his cousins or something and that's why he's so confused about Seb

6 YEAR OLD EJ I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM

Nini saying she's obsessed with her ex, that's not weird at all 👍

I can just tell Matt had a blast harassing Julia with those puppets.

Jack please dont be like that, "yet"

chances are you'll never see eachother again 🥰

(honestly sometimes I really miss those friends I made on trips and stuff when we'd spend the day or week together, only to never see them again....those were the good days though)

Ashlyn and Nini should write more songs..... something better than this one at least

Nini: "im good"

cue the Tia Mowry (please I can't spell) crying gif

oh I forgot Ricky was in the show for a hot second

1. where did Gina get to film this without people being around

2. did she just... randomly change her clothes???

ok but the transition between Carlos and EJ

*chefs kiss*

now everyone shut up, EJ's singing

oh i think I'm pregnant

HIS MUSCLES

YES KOURTNEY

I love how big red and Kourtney went from being "the best friends™" to the couple in season 1, to kinda close themselves and having their own plots

sebby makes me so happy

props to biggies editing skills honestly

PORTWELL BEING SIDE TO SIDE I CANT

AND SEBLOS OMG

big red lives for the drama

"wow" so true Ricky

no he is not cute, stop it

"holding" ok that's kinda cute

yeah EJ's a lucky guy😌

jokes aside, it's not that hard to exchange numbers-

keep in touch if you want

ok I really like Jack now

if he comes back in season 3, maybe have him be LGBTQ+ ?

like the only out characters they have rn are Seb and Carlos and they're like the sterotypes, yk?

I'd love to see jack kinda break the mold

Ricky's breaking my heart

that song just hurts

the only thing

now I don't hate Lynne????????

HOW DARE THEY WRITE IN A PROPER REDEMPTION ARC FOR HER

UGH IM SUPPOSED TO HATE HER FOREVER

I mean I don't live her now but she's good

but honestly

"mom can I show you something"

IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL

THE PICTURE AND EVERYTHING OMG

I'm sobbing please help

Gina saying she's just waiting for the right guy and then EJ coming to the airport to pick her up late at night without her asking, offering to bring her back in the morning so she won't have to Uber, bringing her a granola bar (WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE FORGOT TO PACK) and without expecting anything in return???

ms ma'am you've got a keeper right there

her smile at the end was so heartwarming I really can't.

this episode was great.

it felt really short but I liked it, great character development for Ricky, Lynne and Gina.

Cant wait for next episode to see more of EJ being the ideal boyfriend /hj

[yeenybeanies]

INTRO: Clayton Hess

just some quick info to clear things up: this is a world wherein humans & human-sized things exist, but also centaurs exist, & centaurs are huge. this is normal. well... semi-normal. humans and giantfolk don't tend to interact much. but!! this is my first piece with my big centaur boy clay posting here as promised! one day late smh you can find this piece and others on my patreon!

OCS | clayton hess

5,671 words

no warnings

thanks for reading!

Before the sun had even risen, there was much activity on the floor of the towering megaforest. People scrambled about at the mouth of the path leading further in, calling out to each other, distributing supplies, reigning in their horses, calming their dogs. Everyone moved with an urgent, anxious energy.

“O’Rourke! All teams are ready to depart.”

The old man, O’Rourke, lifted his eyes first to the horizon, and then to the one addressing him. His fluffy, grey eyebrows stayed fixed, knitted in a stern, stony frown. “Good. Stay ready, ladies and gentlemen. As soon as that sun rises, we’re going in.”

“You said that we had one more joining us?” The same person, a woman named Sanouk, looked to the teams of people assembled around her. “Who are they going with?”

“Yeah, he said he’d be here.” O’Rourke continued to watch the sky, noting the changing colors. The pinks and purples were gradually bleeding into oranges and yellows. Dawn was almost over. “Don’t worry about placing him. He’s gonna be going on his own.”

Sanouk eyed him skeptically. “Why? We already have one missing girl to find in this megaforest; we don’t need to lose anyone else. He could go with Team Fou––. . ..” Her words trailed off, her attention suddenly occupied with something else. First she felt it in the ground: a low rumbling, almost like a faint earthquake; then she heard it as a steadily-growing thunder.

O’Rourke shook his head and waved off her concerns. “I don’t think he’ll be getting lost. He knows these woods like the back of his hand.”

“But––but that’s–-” Sanouk tried to speak, but her rising concern over the thundering and the quaking kept cutting her off. O’Rourke could see the worry on her face, and on the faces of everyone else present, but he chose not to address it. All questions would be answered momentarily.

The disturbance sounded like a landslide. It had not only the people nervous, but the dogs and horses as well. A few high-strung beasts reared up and hollered their concern, while others fidgeted anxiously. The noise crescendoed, then abruptly quieted to a slower, rhythmic thumping. Concern in the gathering turned to confusion. Still, O’Rourke looked unbothered.

All attention snapped to a rustling in the dense foliage lining the path’s mouth. Alarmed gasps and yelps rang out as the source of the disturbance––the rustling, the rumbling, the quaking––pushed his way through the trees and stepped into view. Dogs barked, horses whinnied, and a good many people retreated several feet away from the newcomer.

The two most notable things about this newcomer were his enormous size, and his four very equine legs––and equine body from the waist down. He was a centaur. From under the wide brim of his hat, he surveyed the crowd, noting the fear in many a human and beast.

“Mr. Hess!” O’Rourke removed his hat and waved it, drawing the newcomer’s attention. “Good morning! Glad you could join us.” The old man strode forward, through the still nervous crowd.

“Morning,” the centaur said, his voice unexpectedly, and intentionally soft. He remained where he was, neither wanting to scare the crowd more, nor risk getting any of them underhoof.

O’Rourke stopped a few yards away from the centaur and turned around to face the crowd. He waved an arm up. “Everyone, this is Clayton Hess. As you can see, he’s a centaur, so be sure to keep out of his way. He’ll be helping us in searching for that little girl. Sanouk––” He beckoned the woman to step forward, which she did after some hesitation, “––if  you’ll please give him a quick rundown of the plan, then we can be on our way.”

Sanouk stared up at Clay, her mouth agape. Clay paid it no mind, being quite used to the range of emotions humans felt whenever they first saw him. He took a couple of steps backwards and slowly lowered himself onto the ground, legs tucked neatly under him, out of the way. From there, he leaned forward, arms folded behind his back.

“Morning, Miss,” he said with a polite dip of his head. “I hope I can be of some help in finding––”

“Mani Sanouk,” she interrupted, her hand extended out to him. She moved stiffly, clearly uneasy.

Clay blinked, one brow raised. This wasn’t the first time a human had offered to “shake his hand,” but it was still an unusual gesture. Not wanting to be rude, however, he brought around one hand and, moving deliberately slow, offered his pinky to meet her. “Just ‘Clay’ is fine. Pleasure to meet you.”

Sanouk went rigid at his hand’s approach, so much so that Clay could feel her tension when they made contact. She was a tough woman, though; she held onto her nerve through their “handshake,” and didn’t flinch at his retreat.

“You as well. Here’s a map that shows . . . er . . ..” As she pulled said map from her satchel, Sanouk frowned. It was a rather large map in her hands, but, to a truly behemoth being like Clay, it was no bigger than a business card. “Erm, right. Teams One and Two will be covering these sections,” she said, pointing to the marked areas. “Three and four will be covering these sections.”

Clay squinted at the map. He couldn’t quite make out all of the writing, but the marked sections were clear enough. “Understood. I’ll cover those four sections to the East.”

“Four of them?” Sanouk’s head snapped up to meet his eyes. “That is a lot of ground. Are you sure you’re going to be able to––” she paused mid-sentence, reconsidering her question and the being she was talking to. Clay allowed himself some amusement and a faint smile.

“I might be able to cover more, depending on when and where we’re rendezvousing.”

“Right . . .. Right. Okay.” She looked back down to the map and pointed to a river bend. “We will all meet back at this bend in Joyelette’s River at noon. That will give each team about five hours to search their sections. Do you know who we are looking for?”

“I do,” the centaur said with a nod. “O’Rourke printed me a picture and gave me all the information I needed.”

Sanouk returned the nod and stowed her map once more. “Then we are good to start.”

Clay gave the woman a moment to step back, then pushed himself off of the ground and rose to his full, towering height. “I’ll head out first. Best of luck to all of you. Let’s find this girl.” He tipped his hat to the crowd, then turned and started off on the trail into the giant forest. Once he was several yards away, he could hear the other groups slowly filtering in behind him. Their horses and dogs still made nervous noises, but he figured they’d calm once he was out of sight.

It was always interesting to see how humans and animals that had never encountered a centaur before reacted to him.

                                                                        – – –

By ten o’clock, the forest had changed dramatically. The sun hung high in the sky, beating down on the landscape below. It was hot and humid, almost muggy. Birds swooped around Clay’s head, snatching up insects from the tiny swarm that he’d accumulated. While most of the insects were too small to actually bother him, there were still the occasional few that managed to make a nuisance of themselves. They had his ears flicking, his tail swishing. He lamented silently to himself for not bringing some sort of repellant.

“Pauline!” he called, his voice echoing amongst the trees. He tempered his yell, not wanting to scare the girl, but wanting to be heard, should she be around. “Pauline Kelly! Are you there?”

Silence. Clay sighed, his ears drooping momentarily. This wasn’t his first rescue mission, nor would it be his last; he was familiar with the monotony and the frustrating silence after every call.

Sometimes the missing person was found. Sometimes they weren’t.

He hoped, for this little girl’s sake, she would be found. It wasn’t just exposure that could kill out here. Megaforests were not meant for humans, let alone for human children. Like the massive trees and the greenery, the fauna in here were gargantuan in their own right. Most of the larger creatures wouldn’t pay mind to a human; it was the smaller ones––relatively speaking––that worried Clay more.

Clay stopped in his tracks, stiff, ears pricked. A scream. A scream broke the silence.

“Pauline? Pauline!” The centaur called out. “Pauline, can you hear me?”

“Help!”

There! Clay’s head snapped in the direction of the scream. Turning quick on his hooves, he leapt into a gallop. “Pauline! I’m coming!” From the sounds of things, she couldn’t be too far away. He raced through the foliage, running so fast that he might as well have been flying. The girl screamed again, making the centaur skid to a halt and reassess his direction. He looked around desperately, feeling his anxiety rising.

There!

Atop a fallen log, a bear-sized, reptilian creature dug at the rotting wood with its claws. Another scream rang out, a little muffled. Clay gritted his teeth and rushed the lizard. Upon spotting him, it puffed up and hissed, but its threats were no match for his own. He halted before the log and reared up on his hind legs, forehooves kicking, promising something far deadlier than anything it could offer in return. Fighting a full-grown centaur was not worth whatever meal it could have made of the girl. It quickly deflated and skittered away, nearly losing its footing in its haste to avoid Clay’s punishment. Only once it disappeared into the underbrush and vanished from all his senses did Clay turn his eyes to the log, his expression softening.

“Pauline?” Carefully he approached the log, ears angled towards it. Quiet sniffles and whimpers came from within. Clay rested a hand atop the log and peered in through the hole the lizard was digging at. There, backed into a little nook, sat the girl from the picture––the girl they were all looking for. Dirt caked her skin, and her clothes looked torn. He couldn’t see much else of her physical state, but she was alive. Relief overcame the centaur.

Unfortunately, that relief was short-lived. The girl, upon looking up and seeing Clay’s massive face staring down at her, let out an ear-splitting shriek. Clay flinched, ears swiveling backwards to try and dampen the noise. His hands shot up in a placating gesture, though it only made the girl scream again.

“Miss Pauline––please! I’m here to help you. If you could just come out––awh––!”

The girl scrambled out of view. Clay bit back a frustrated groan and tried to catch sight of her again. From the sounds of things, she was crawling deeper into the log.

By the skies, it would have been better if one of the human groups had found her. She was, understandably, terrified of him. It was going to be a challenge to get her out of the log. He could tear it open, but that would just scare the little one even more, and could potentially harm her. He’d save that as a last resort.

Clay sighed. He rubbed his temples, digging under his hat. With a heavy thud, the centaur sat down on his haunches. He figured he might be here for a while.

“I know you’re scared, dearheart. You’ve been in this forest for two days, probably seen some frightening critters like that lizard. Probably hungry n’ thirsty. Tired too.” He opted not to say as much, but Clay figured that the girl would not have survived another night in the megaforest. She was lucky to have made it this long.

“My name’s Clay,” he continued. He kept his voice soft, hoping that he might be able to soothe her. “I know I’m big, and I’m kinda scary-looking, like everything else in these woods. But your Ma and Pa––Mr. Marty and Mrs. Lana Kelly––they’re both real’ worried about you. They sent me and a bunch of other people out here to look for you.”

The sniffling was softer now. Clay had to strain his hearing to catch it. He wasn’t sure if it was a good sign or a bad sign. He listened, silently willing the girl to give him something––any sort of sign that he was getting somewhere with her.

“Y-you… know my mom and dad?” came the small voice after a long silence. Clay’s ears flicked up. Oh, in this moment, her voice was the sweetest thing he’d ever heard.

“Er––yes. I know them.” Or rather, he knew of them. It didn’t matter right now. “They’ve got a whole lot of us combing these woods for you, Miss Pauline. They miss you bunches, want you to come home.”

The girl went silent again, much to Clay’s alarm. He stood up again and tried to spot her within the log. He hadn’t been able to get a good look at her the first time; he could only guess her condition. Was she injured? Had he been too late in chasing off that lizard? He couldn’t smell any blood, but maybe–––

Wait. The girl was on the move again, picking her way through the log’s hollow interior. Clay followed the sound with ears and eyes as she climbed down towards the lower end. Though he was tempted to meet her down there, he decided that it was best to remain still and let her come to him.

Hopefully she wouldn’t run when she saw him.

Once she reached the opening at the bottom––likely the same opening she’d entered the log through––Pauline timidly peeked around the jagged wood. Wide eyes first found the centaur’s giant hooves, then followed up his forelegs, his torso, and way, way up to his face, where he stared right back down at her. She shrank away upon meeting his gaze, but didn’t break eye contact. Clay felt a pang in his hearts.

“That’s it, dearheart,” he said, his voice as soft as he could manage without outright whispering. “You’re so brave. Can you come a little closer so I can see you better?”

Pauline shook her head quickly. It didn’t surprise Clay.

“Okay… that’s fine. I’m gonna sit down, alright? Don’t go nowhere.” He waited a moment for a response, and continued on when he got none. Slowly, and keeping his hands where the girl could see them, Clay got down onto his foreknees, and then dropped his hocks. The girl flinched, but didn’t run.

“Alright now. I know you’re scared, little one. I understand. But I promise, I ain’t gonna hurt you.” Pauline just continued to stare up at him. Sitting down did cut nearly a third of his height, but Clay still towered a good sixty feet over the girl. He did his best not to loom, impossible as it was.

He told her more about himself, about how he’d come into these woods many times to find lost humans, about how he liked to grow fruits and raise bees. He asked her some questions, too––some of which she even answered. Some of them, he already knew the answers too. Pauline Kelly was seven years old, an older sister, and she’d just had a birthday when she went missing. What he learned was that her favorite color was blue––like the color of his shirt, she liked to fingerpaint, and she thought his hair was pretty. That last point, wholly unprompted, caught the centaur off-guard.

“You like my hair?”

Pauline nodded. “Mhm.” She looked a little less scared now, and stood where Clay could better see her. Thankfully, save for some minor scrapes and bruises, she looked unharmed.

Clay pushed his hat backwards off his head, letting it fall and catch on the string around his neck. Black and grey locks spiked out at odd angles, only partially tamed with a swipe of his hand.

“You wanna touch it?”

His offer had the girl pause. She regarded him nervously, looking between his face, his hair, his hands, and… down at his tail. Clay followed her gaze. That could be a good first step. She could reach his tail on her own. He swished it around so the long hair, the same black and grey as was on his head, was closer, and more in his view.

“Go on ahead. I won’t move none,” he encouraged. Pauline hesitated, clearly debating with herself. Eventually, her curiosity won the debate. Though she remained wary of Clay, glancing up at him every other second, she shuffled out from the log’s shelter. She gave him a wide berth as she circled over to his tail. Even when she stood a mere foot from him, she paused. An approving nod from Clay granted her the last bit of encouragement she needed to sit down on her knees and run her hands over the dark locks.

Clay’s tail was kempt, for a farmer. He combed it and kept it neatly trimmed without sacrificing its purpose. Even still, the hair was coarse and wiry, as was the case with all centaur tails and manes. That didn’t seem to bother Pauline, though. She rubbed chunks of hair between her hands, combed her fingers through it, and even twisted a few locks into tiny braids. Then she stood up and moved closer to his hind hoof––the white-socked one. Clay watched her carefully, but remained still, wanting neither to spook her nor hurt her. She knocked her little fists against the tough, cream nail, and then the metal shoe underneath.

“Did this hurt?” She asked. For the moment, there was more wonder in her eyes than fear.

“Hm? The shoe? Naw, that didn’t hurt none. Barely felt it when I had them put in.”

Pauline moved on from the hoof and dared to step even closer, right up to his side. Clay leaned over to better keep an eye on her. She dusted her hands––what a polite girl––and raised them to feel the short, tan fur along his flank. It too was pretty coarse, though it was a bit softer than his tail.

“It’s a lot softer up here,” Clay offered, startling the girl. Her head whipped up to meet his gaze. She looked a little bewildered, as though she’d forgotten that he was alive and present. He pointed to his head of hair. “Softest you’ll find on a centaur. And I take real’ good care of mine.” He gave what he hoped was an encouraging smile.

Immediately, the girl’s nervousness returned. “Um…”

Clay twisted his upper body to better face her. He brought one hand down to the ground a few feet away from her, palm up, fingers flat. “Promise I won’t hurt you, Miss Pauline.”

She stared at his hand, once again debating with herself. Clay waited patiently, watching her, willing to accept if she didn’t want to come to him immediately. They still had another hour or so before the rendezvous at the river. So long as no danger came along, he would use that time to gain her trust. It’d make things easier for the both of them. The girl deserved to feel safe after two days of being lost in a megaforest.

With an understandable amount of hesitancy, Pauline drew nearer to Clay’s hand. Like she had his tail and his hoof, she first inspected it. Next to him, the girl was miniscule. From fingertip to wrist, his hand was longer than most humans were tall. With her, his pinky finger exceeded her in height. She gave the pad of his index finger an experimental prod, and flinched when it twitched in response. Clay offered a quick apology. It seemed to reassure her, if only a little. She put her hands to his finger again, feeling over the whorls and the callouses. Clays hands, though gentle, were not soft. They were the hands of a working man, rough and weathered..

It took the girl a few more minutes of touching and feeling, and a little bit more encouragement from Clay, before she felt confident enough to step up onto his hand. She took a few unsteady steps over his fingers, finding it a little unusual and difficult to walk on such a squishy surface. Where his fingers met his palm, she lost her balance and fell onto her knees with a yelp. Clay fought back the urge to cup his hand around her.

“You’re okay, dearheart. Why don’t you sit down in the middle right there, hunh? Get yourself comfortable.”

Pauline, finding that to be a good idea, did as told and sat herself cross-legged in the center of his palm. She planted her hands to either side of her for balance. Smart girl. Once she settled, his fingers curled in around her, not enough to enclose her, but to make a barrier to keep her from falling. She sat in nervous silence, glancing at her surroundings. Slowly, carefully, Clay lifted his hand from the ground. The girl tensed, but made no sound as he brought her up to eye level. It was even more obvious now how small she was compared to him.

Up close, Clay could get a better look at her. Her clothes were dirty and torn in places, she had a layer of dirt and mud caking her skin, and her arms and legs had a good many abrasions. Overall, though, she looked fine. Stressed and ready to get home to her parents, but fine.

Her sniffling snapped Clay out of his silent observation. He blinked twice and regarded the girl inquisitively. She’d begun shaking in his hand, and little tears pooled in her eyes.

“Now now, Miss Pauline. You’ve gotten this far. You can be brave for a bit longer.” A warm smile spread across his lips. She was a cute little girl. Tough, too. If she weren’t so terrified, the centaur might have given her a little nuzzle. Instead, though, he’d give her what she was promised for her bravery. Clay brought the girl closer and tipped his head forward, letting his forelocks hang closer to her. He closed his eyes, hoping that it might make the girl more comfortable. Once all stopped moving, Pauline stood up, still a bit shaky. She reached out to the long strands, taking a handful and filtering it through her fingers. Clay had not been lying; the hair on his head was much softer than that on his tail or his fur. Pauline was immediately enraptured. She ran her hands through it, rubbed a lock to her cheek, fluffed it and smoothed it again. She took a chunk and loosely braided it, giggling softly. Clay was content to let her do as she pleased. He was surprised, though, when she moved closer and ran a hand over his eyebrow. Said eyebrow twitched, then joined its counterpart in a furrow.

“What are you doing, little one?” He spoke not with any accusation, but rather kind amusement.

“You’re missing hair on this one,” she said, touching his right brow. Clay opened his eyes, but she was too close for him to focus on. His eyelashes brushed her arms, drawing another giggle from her.

“Yep. Got a cut a long, long time ago, and the hair never grew back.” His smile widened. A child’s wonder was a marvelous thing to see. To be the object of that wonder was, in a way, flattering. After everything this girl had been through over the past couple of days, she deserved some happiness.

“Could I please touch your beard?” she asked. Wordlessly, Clay obliged. He tipped his head back, lifting his chin so she could reach it. With far less hesitation than before, the girl pushed her hands into the shorter hair. It wasn’t as soft as the hair on his head, but still softer than his tail. It tickled her palms as she rubbed along his chin and jaw.

Clay glanced up at the sky, noting the sun’s position. There was still time, but noon was approaching.

“Dearheart,” he said, gently pulling his head back so he could better regard her. “I’d love to let you braid my hair all day, but I think it’s time I got you back to your parents.”

The girl’s eyes lit up, as if she’d suddenly remembered why Clay was here at all. She nodded eagerly.

Warmth filled Clay’s chest. He reached with his middle finger to give her a gentle pat to the head. “Sit down now, just like before. I’ll take you to them.” Obediently, she did as told and returned to her previous spot. Clay pulled his hat back onto his head, then cupped his free hand next to his occupied one for extra security. “Hold on, now. This might be a bit bumpy.”

That was putting it lightly. A centaur standing up was a rocky ride. He lurched as his hooves found footing under him, making the girl yelp and grab onto his pinky. She squeezed her eyes shut and gripped harder when she was suddenly lifted even higher into the air.

“It’s alright, Miss Pauline,” Clay said. “You ready to go?”

She nodded, though she kept her eyes closed.

Standing up was the rough part. Clay, like most centaurs, could keep his upper body steady through a full gallop. While walking, the worst Pauline had to endure was a little bit of easy swaying. He periodically glanced down at her as he picked his way through the forest, happy to see that most of her fear was gone. She looked around at the giant trees and bushes with a new sense of awe. From up here, things didn’t look quite so daunting. The fact that no predators could reach her provided a great deal of comfort too.

With comfort came confidence. The girl started asking questions about the forest, about Clay, about centaurs and other large creatures. Clay indulged her curiosity as best he could. Having lived with these woods his whole life, he was something of an expert. Were they not on a bit of a time constraint, he would have been happy to stop and show her some of the things he talked about, like the bright mushrooms or the abandoned bird nests.

Clay could smell the river before he could see it. He could hear it, too, as they drew closer. Over the sound of its flowing, he could hear some voices, too––human voices. Dogs barking greeted him first as the animals sensed his approach. He paid them no mind, nor the startled noises of the humans as he pushed through the trees and into the path that ran perpendicular to the river.

“Mr. Hess!” said a familiar voice. Sanouk waved to him, and he nodded in return.

“Afternoon, Miss Sanouk.” The centaur stopped a few yards away from the group of humans, both for courtesy and safety’s sake. He curled his fingers again to keep his charge secure as he once more lowered himself down to the ground. “I believe I’ve found who we were looking for.”

Sanouk eyed him curiously, then looked to his cupped hands. Her expression morphed from confused to elated. “You found her?” The rest of the group perked up at the news too.

Clay nodded and turned his attention to the girl in his hands. “Miss Pauline, these people were out here looking for you too. They’re real’ nice. I’m sure they’ve got some snacks and water they’d be happy to share with you.”

Pauline looked uncertain, but the mention of food and water brightened her mood. Clay brought his hands down to the ground and flattened his fingers. A few of the other humans cheered and whooped their joy. Sanouk looked ready to cry. She took a knee and held her arms out to the girl.

“Come here, child. Come get something to eat and drink. Your parents will be here soon.” She beckoned with her hands.

Pauline looked back to Clay, who gave her an encouraging nod, then she scampered out of his hands and ran into Sanouk’s arms. The woman embraced her tightly. She mouthed a word of thanks to Clay, then lifted the girl up and carried her to the crowd, many of whom already had water and food to offer. Clay straightened and crossed his arms, satisfied that the girl was now safe.

A few humans broke from the group to thank Clay for finding the girl. He humbly shrugged off their thanks, saying that they were all out here looking for her. Any one of them would have brought her back if they’d found her. He was just the lucky one. Still, it was nice to see that at least some of the humans were warming up to him.

Over the next half hour, the other groups filtered in. The Kellys were part of the last group to arrive. Pauline spotted her mother before either parent could receive the news. “Mama!” she yelled, startling the whole group. Both parents looked up, bewildered, to see their daughter sprinting towards them. Their knees hit the ground, arms outstretched, and cocooned the girl in a long-overdue embrace. A chorus of sniffles and relieved sighs echoed throughout the whole group. Clay looked away, not wanting to intrude on a personal moment. He was just happy to see the Kellys reunited.

After a few minutes, approaching footsteps drew the centaur’s attention back. Ears pricked, he turned his head to see O’Rourke walking his way. The old man wore a grin as wide as his face.

“I’m told you’re the one that found her.”

Clay dipped his head once. “Out in section six. Got to her just in time, too. Found her in a log with a lizard trying to get at her, the poor thing.”

O’Rourke raised a fuzzy brow. “Have any trouble catching her?”

“No, not really. I let her come to me. Figured she’d been through enough; she didn’t need me grabbing for her and scaring her more.” He lifted his hat and ran his fingers through his hair. His pinky caught on one of the braids the girl had left there. It brought a fond smile to his lips. “She okay? Didn’t look too banged up to me, but I’m no doctor. Certainly not no human doctor.”

“She’s fine,” O’Rourke said with a wave. “Better now that she’s back with her family. Thank you, Clay, for coming out today. We wouldn’t have found her without you.”

“I don’t know about that,” Clay said.

“I do. Don’t be so modest. You saved that girl’s life today,” the old man insisted.

Clay was ready to retort, feeling a little indignant with his modesty being challenged, but he paused when he spotted others approaching. O’Rourke followed his gaze to the Kellys, Marty and Lana, heading over. Pauline was held in her mother’s arms, clutching a snack bar that she eagerly munched on. They stopped next to O’Rourke, who gave the father a firm pat on the shoulder before he departed.

The father spoke first. “Mr. Hess…?”

“Clay,” he corrected.

“Clay…” he repeated, clearly uneasy. “I––we wanted to thank you for finding our daughter. We knew that if we didn’t find her today, she might…” he trailed off as his voice started to shake, and swallowed thickly.

Clay shrugged humbly. “No need to thank me, Mr. Kelly. I’m just happy I could help. Happy to see her safe.”

“You saved her life,” the mother said. She looked less afraid than her spouse, like her strength and courage returned with her child. “You’ve done us a great service. How could we ever repay you?”

Clay frowned. These humans didn’t listen, did they? It must be their tiny ears. He shook his head. “I don’t need repayment. A child was lost, and I helped find her. I just did what any decent man would do.”

“But––”

He waved a hand, cutting off any rebuttal. “You wanna repay me? You take that girl home, get her cleaned up and healthy again. You take care of her and raise her well. That’s plenty reward for me.”

The parents stared up at him, clearly feeling contrary. Before they could say anything, though, Pauline started to squirm and protest the hold she was in. Once mother reluctantly set her down, the girl ran towards Clay. She beamed up at him, arms held over her head. The centaur went still, going so far as to halt his breathing.

“Clay!” the girl called, waving her hands. There was no trace of her previous fear.

Clay allowed himself a breath and a smile. “Yes, dearheart?” She pointed to his hands. Now it was his turn to be hesitant, but he did still oblige the child. He lowered a hand for her, offering her his forefinger. She latched onto it, hugging as tightly as she could. The gesture filled his hearts with a warmth he didn’t often experience.

“Now now, don’t go getting all sappy on me,” he chided gently. He couldn’t return the hug, but he could allow her to hold on for as long as she wanted. Her parents followed behind, both resting a hand on his knuckles.

“Thank you, Clay,” the father repeated.

The centaur shook his head. “It was my pleasure.”

Pauline held on for another minute before her mother coaxed her away. Clay pulled his hand back, still aware of the little warm spot where she’d held him. He gave the family a wave as they retreated back to the crowd, no doubt ready to head home and tend to their daughter.

Clay didn’t stick around much longer. There was nothing left for him to do here. The girl was safe. The family was whole. He was happy. With all humans a safe distance away, the centaur gathered himself up to his feet, tipped his hat farewell to the crowd, and turned to the forest to head home.

He could celebrate the day on his own with a bottle of his homemade cider.

[to-many-towered-camelot]

book notes

for anyone who is interested in a nuanced take on fairy beliefs vs the Christian Church in the Middle Ages, this book by Richard Firth Green was actually so good, if your library has it:

[Image: Front cover of the book ‘Elf Queens and Holy Friars: Fairy Beliefs and the Medieval Church’ by Richard Firth Green]

like, obvs it’s just one person’s take on a very complex topic, but it’s well-written, well-researched, and it uses a bunch of Arthurian examples throughout to explore this dynamic (see under cut)

really interesting exploration of how the Church’s response evolved from the early-High Middle Ages (”dude, you believe in fairies? hhhmmm, do penance for 10 days”) to the Late Middle Ages/Early Modern Period (”kill them for heresy and witchcraft!”) 

and how it enfolded vernacular/fairy beliefs into Christian doctrine as fairies being either a) demons or b) the illusions of demons (and how dangerous/bad these demons were depended on the time/location/cleric in question - some packaged fairies as “neutral” demons who fell when the rebel angels did, and who must be punished on Earth but will return to Heaven on Doomsday - potentially doing this to soften things for their parishioners, who often held these fairy beliefs and reconciled them with Christianity, uh, differently than the Church officially would prefer)

and enduring belief in fairies existed in both common and aristocratic circles (can see this in medieval romances, although they’re not the only source of evidence), rather than just being used as cultural “decoration” by a more sceptical upperclass

aaaaand because of this conflation of fairy = demon, you get a really interesting blend/overlap with medieval demonology and enduring “folk” beliefs (obvs not all of medieval demonology was just rebranded fairies, but some of it defs was - you see stories being retold with “devil” instead of “elf”, for example)

INCLUDING in Arthuriana - how you get Morgan the Fairy (”le Fay”) vs Morgan who was raised in a nunnery and learned dark magic there, the Lady of the Lake as a (largely) positive force, Merlin inexplicably as a (perceived to be...) Good Guy despite being the literal antichrist, the Green Knight and all the overlap with Christian symbolism in that story, etc, etc. and they all just either??? co-exist in the same stories or appear through either more fay or more ~Christian lenses depending on the version

and it creates a very interesting and very confusing soup of Stuff stemming from a very confusing - and sometimes dangerous - soup of official and unofficial beliefs evolving over hundreds of years

anyway, WRT Arthuriana it’s got (and ymmv on these, but they’re all interesting thoughts):

(i think in Gottfried’s Tristan???) apparently Tristan has a rainbow fairy dog called Petitcriu...name a knight less deserving of such a Good Boy smh

Chretien’s Yvain flooding out Laudine at the fountain (...jerk) as a continuation of the beliefs surrounding a magical Spring at Barenton 

Gingalain moving from being the son of Gawain and the fairy Blanchemal (and having a fairy love interest, Pucelle) in the French OG version (~1200-ish) to being the son of Gawain and his human mistress (with Pucelle also being human) in a later 15th-C Middle English version)

AJDKN UJ IOE E Merlin’s conception, that one’s a wild ride - theologians REALLY didn’t like the idea of demons being fertile, and the work-arounds they came up with were...incredible. but skipping over that sheer comedy, the author draws links between Merlin’s conception and the general trend of claiming a fairy lover/whatever when a difficult-to-explain pregnancy arose. He also theorises that Geoffrey’s idea for Merlin’s father being a demon/fairy may have come from Nennius saying that Merlin/Ambrosius’ mother “never knew a man”. Later adaptations of this storyline made it even more fay-like (when they weren’t, like Robert de Boron, making it more fucked-up) by making Merlin’s father invisible (Wace) or a super attractive guy in swanky gold clothes (Layamon) - and Vortigern’s advisor explaining the creatures that lived between the earth and the moon until doomsday, etc, etc (walking that line between fairy and incubi, whichhhhhh was not clearly delineated in the Middle Ages the way it is now). also there’s one 13th-C Anglo-Norman poem where Merlin’s father is a bird that transforms into a dashing young squire, which isn’t terribly demon-y. So even though most versions of this story describe Merlin’s dad as an incubi-demon, what people understood this to mean may have been more fay-ish that we’d expect nowadays (depending on the reader, and also on authorial intention - some are pretty explicit that he’s a demon [many clerics keen to push this as the main narrative], while others refer to him as an elf or fairy). some contemporary scepticism during this time about Merlin having any sort of supernatural parentage as well

[none of the same Church anxieties about explaining away how the Plantagenets and other aristocratic families claim a female fairy ancestress - maybe bc there’s none of the stress about patrilineal bloodlines??? who knows! but yeah, much less thought given to those stories in ecclesiastical circles, and they were very popular in vernacular romances (male aristocratic wish fulfilment?). also, fairy enchantments =/= necromancy, so there are stories like the non-cyclic Lancelot where the Lady of the Lake is found out to be “a fairy by education, not by nature or heredity” (Elspeth Kennedy), with the spirits used in necromancy being demons, not fairies. also potential trend of female-associated magic becoming more passive and book-learned, gradually demonising it leading up to early-modern witch hunts.]

Geoffrey of Monmouth in his Historia and in the Vita Merlini being actually pretty circumspect about saying whether or not Arthur was alive/dead, returning/not returning, maybe due to his work/text being a (hypothesised) defence of the Welsh as being “civilised” (and having been so for centuries before the Normans came) - with the corollary that believing in Arthur’s return was somehow “uncivilised”. Author argues that this may be due to an association with fairy beliefs, and that Layamon is the one that makes Avalon explicitly fey. Also the author describes Arthur as living in a “feminised version of the Christian heaven” (iconic) and says that later writers and people could be very scornful of this belief held by the Britons/Welsh/etc, and that it was contrary to orthodox ways of thinking. 

Links the “discovery” of Arthur and Guinevere’s bodies in Glastonbury in the late 12th-C as similar to when individuals found the bodies of their loved ones, thus making it much harder to believe (and hope) that they were still alive in fairyland. Makes a suggestion that the monks in Glastonbury who “found” these bodies may have been trying to curry favour with the English crown (i.e. champion/hope of the Welsh isn’t coming back) but also may have been trying to “help”/”save”/correct the thoughts/ideology of the Welsh (i.e. “set them on the correct path to salvation”). Lots of medieval writers describing Arthur as living in “fairyland”. Precedent of people visiting fairyland and returning, so Avalon/fairyland =/= a place only for the dead (i.e. Arthur isn’t dead). An Arthurian example, albeit a less explicitly fay one, is Lancelot getting in and out of Gorre (with Gorre as a “typically supressed and rationalised” version of fairyland) in Chretien’s Knight of the Cart.

Some stuff about the wild horde (distinct from the wild hunt) being presented by some writers as very penitential (i.e. they are departed souls that may look like they’re bearing arms/hunting/whatever as they did in life, but really they are in agony e.g. because their weapons burn them) and tbh demonic (black armour, carrying torches, ominous aesthetic). Other writers thought maybe it was - once again! - demonic impersonators rather than actual mortal souls. (Should note also that the wild horde/wild hunt motifs were not always associated with their being dead). Relevant in the Arthurian context because Arthur and his court were sometimes associated with the idea of the wild horde (as in, sometimes the wild horde is described as Arthur’s court living it up in a cool, undying sort of way - “in the likeness of knights hunting or jousting, commonly known as the household of Hellequin or of Arthur” [Etienne de Bourbon, a medieval writer] - with Hellequin’s household often being used to encompass either the wild hunt or the wild horde). Ultimate point made by the author (props to him, he’s always like “if i’m right” lol) that for many clerical writers, it was very uncomfortable to leave people with the impression that Arthur and his court were living it up in fairyland (and similar for other figures associated with the wild hunt/horde) and this idea needed to be corrected/shaped to suit more orthodox perspectives - e.g. tying in with notions of purgatory, etc. 

Aaaand this one was exciting to me just bc i’ve vaguely heard about Arthur and his knights snoozing under a hill, but for some reason i could only remember this being in Victoria-era-and-onwards poetry. 3 versions of the same tale, where a servant looks for his master’s lost horse on a Sicilian mountain. Version 1) servant of a bishop finds his master’s horse in the beautiful palace of Arthur’s court beneath Mt Etna. Aside from the fact that the ancient wound Arthur received from Mordred opens once a year, it’s not very purgatory-like. Version 2) a dean’s servant is told by an old man that King Arthur has the horse on Mt Gyber (Mt Etna). he is told that his master must attend Arthur’s court in 14 days, but the dean laughs it off...then sickens and dies on the appointed day (whoops). Enough differences to this story compared to the first to suggest an oral circulation. Also a note in the version/text that such mountains are said to be the mouth of hell, and only the wicked are sent there, not the chosen. Version 3) Etienne again! Also likely changed with intervening oral circulation. The master is not an ecclesiastical figure, and Arthur’s palace is now a populous city - also Arthur is not referred to, just a nameless prince. There is a gatekeeper who warns the servant not to eat or drink while he’s there (that...is a very fairy-ish proscription). This mountain is apparently reputed to be the site of purgatory. The book author (Richard, i mean) ties these versions in with other stories/accounts of different entrances to purgatory (e.g. one on an island in an Irish lake) as being part of a gradual process of “rendering [...] fairyland purgatorial”. 

Finally, Gawain in Roman van Walewein: To get to an ‘earthly paradise’ [i.e. King Assentijn’s garden with its fountain of youth - side note that ‘earthly paradises’ were often popularly described to be fairyland/where fairies live, in addition to their theological functions, e.g. Avalon was sometimes described as an earthly paradise...i should also say that purgatory was frequently thought to be located beside earthly paradise, so there’s the proximity element] and the castle containing it, Gawain must cross a river (guided by a magical talking fox) that a) has waters that burn like fire, and b) can only be crossed by using a bridge sharper than a razor. His reaction? “Is it the enchantment of elves or magic / that I see?”. He is then guided by the fox underneath the river through a tunnel, and is told that the river’s source is in the depths of hell, and “[the river] is the true purgatory / All souls, having departed from the body / Must come here to bathe.” So it’s a very strong intermingling of fairy and purgatorial imagery/ideas!

I dunno, I just found this very ??? satisfying to read

it leaned towards lit-crit at times (which, considering the subject matter, is honestly fair enough), but it was more respectful of vernacular beliefs than so many other academic takes i see (ofc ymmv re: anything to do with non-Christian major religions, but i think the author’s pretty solid on this!), and it had an explanation for the survival of these beliefs that imo made a lot of sense, especially from a pan-European perspective, not just a Celtic one 

plus it explored the undeniable damage done by Christianity over history without making up some “ranged battle between paganism and the Church” that i see  e v e r y w h e r e  in casual Arthurian circles...which, like, i empathise with the vibe, but also! that’s just straight-up historical revisionism! (i blame MZB and the 80′s for that one)

(there was a fantastic post floating around a while ago about how the religious syncretism in Arthurian literature is much more interesting than peeling away all of the Catholicism in the medieval lit (...you ?? don’t end up with much left?) and saying that this is more “accurate” to some obscure original)

anyway yeah yeah ymmv but it’s v interesting 😊

[mashbits]

hi hi!! may i please request headcanons of the brothers (+ barbatos and solomon, if you can) with a fem!MC who is busty and likes teasing them with her bust in public? (lmao im sorry i just find it so cute and funny when boys get flustered because of something like that)

o h o I like your thinking 😉😉 flustered boys are my aesthetic 😌💅🏻

Busty MC teasing the Obey Me boys in public (18+!)

Warnings ;; slight nsfw, tiddy appreciation

Fem!MC here~

Lucifer 🐺

Oh

O h

So you’re gonna play with fire huh?

Lucifer took you out on a not-date completely professional outing in the Devildom

He had business to attend to and reluctantly allowed you to come along

He didn’t expect you to suddenly slip off your jacket, complaining it was too hot

That shirt is very, well...

Low cut

He knew what you were doing when you’d point your body specifically towards him, your arms squeezed close to better present your clevage

He doesn’t get flustered easily, but boy is he distracted

It takes all his willpower to not drag you home and punish you himself 😉

Once he’s finished working, he’ll wrap an arm around your waist and lean down to level with you

“You’ve been playing with me all day, MC,” he whispers, his breath on your ear. “It’s my turn.”

You better be ready for a long night

Mammon 💸

Listen he probably covers you up the second any bit of your chest is exposed

You’re wearing a tight shirt? He throws his jacket around you to hide it

Clevage showing? Not on his watch, he’s making sure his body is covering your own

Very jealous when other people look at you

But also very flustered when he sees you himself

You know how he is

So you decide to tease him one day

You went shopping with him, wearing a tank top that better accentuates your bust

His jacket was wrapped around you, but it was opened, allowing a view from the front and top

While his attentions diverted you suddenly hug his arm

It’s right between the mounds of flesh

You’re lucky you didn’t kill him right on the spot smh

“Maaammooooon~” you coo, subtly squeezing your chest against him

His face somehow grows even redder

Larry the lobster who?

“Are you almost done? I’m bored.”

He nearly whines when you let him go, unable to speak for a hot minute

“H-Hold yer horses! ‘M done when I-I say I a-am!”

He finishes his shopping spree very quickly

Leviathan 🕹

Pls you’re gonna kill him

Worse than Mammon when it comes to getting flustered

No amount of hentai or games could prepare him for the real thing!

He doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable by staring though, he’s a good boy 👉👈

But sometimes you want him to stare

It’s a 1 hit k.o when you do

You accompanied him while he went and bought a new game one day

Made sure your shirt was especially revealing

It even had one of his favorite characters on it!

Or mega milk if you’re a sinner like that smh

Whenever he looks your way you make sure to wiggle your shoulders

It’s a chain reaction that goes right to your bust

While he is a thigh guy himself, he can’t help but want to feel yknow?

But again, he doesn’t want to make you uncomfy

Only when you hug him from behind suddenly, your chest squished very noticeably against his back, does he start to malfunction

Satan 📚

Much like Lucifer, you’re playing with fire here~

You dare tease him during class?

How risqué!

You’re sitting across from him during your Devildom history lessons

Your uniform was unbuttoned ever-so slightly

Just enough for him to see skin and clevage poking out

It was quite hot for a human, so he thought nothing of it at first

That is, until you “accidentally” pressed a pencil in between the mounds of flesh

Your eyes locked on his

He could see that dammed smirk in your eyes, and all too quickly you were sitting up and covering yourself like nothing happened

He didn’t appreciate how just any demon could have seen that

But he knows they could never have a chance with you

You’re his, after all

Prepare to skip dinner cause he’s not letting you go once you get home

Asmodeus 💅🏻

You think you can fluster him with a little teasing?

Wrong!

He’ll straight up compliment your chest

“Ara~! So big MC! I bet they’re heavy~”

Can and will offer to hold them for you

Be warned, tease him too much in public and he will find a secluded alley to take you in~

He’ll tease you as much as you tease him

“Oh, my dear, you’ve wanted me to look all day haven’t you? I’ve waited this long though, why not a little longer~?”

Beelzebub 🍔

He’s so oblivious to your teasing though

Baby boy baby

Innocent b e a n

You’ll be eating in Hells Kitchen and take off your sweater, showing your chest in pride

He’ll just offer you some of his food 😭

But one day while on a lunch date, you have an idea

You both got ice cream, and you let yours purposefully melt and drip onto your exposed clevage

“Ah, whoops! Guess we should have brought napkins, huh?”

You’re all but innocent

His eyes never leave your chest

He looks extra hungry now, but doesn’t make a move

That is, until you wipe the drop of ice cream off on your finger

You’re about to lick it off when he takes your wrist gently, licking your finger clean himself

“Be careful, MC, you’ll get sticky...”

Whether he’s trying to be intentionally sexy or not is a mystery to you

You’re the one squealing now

Belphegor 🛌

Another hard one to fluster

Big tiddies?

Do you mean:

M o r e p i l l o w s

Straight up shameless I swear to diavolo

Even in public, he’ll lean over and press his head on one side of your chest

Or right in between your bust

Suffocate him please and thank you

This is the only way he’d allow himself to die

He’ll squeeze em if you let him, he’s no coward

Barbatos 🌓

Pls MC he’s trying to be professional

He has to keep his composure s o b

He’s hard to fluster externally, but we all know he’s thinking some dirty thoughts

He’ll act unphased when you press up to him at one of Diavolos parties

But behind closed doors you’re in danger

As many say, the quietest are the kinkiest ~

You take it as a challenge to try and make him blush

It doesn’t work and neither do your legs now

Solomon 🐍

The man appreciates tiddies that’s all

You get annoyed when he ignores you so often, so you choose the busty approach

Wearing cropped shirts or tight clothes to make it more visible

He acts like he doesn’t care, but high key gets jealous when someone gives you attention over it

You belong to him 😤

He’ll come up behind you, one arm around your waist, the other on your chest as he stares down the demon flirting with you

Yell at him all you want he’s asserting dominance

This man will straight up say “nice tits” with no shame

But that’s only bc he wants to annoy you more

Oh boy. Watch out when he has enough of your teasing attempts

It’s worth it in the end 😉

[vegetalass]

can i get uhh, the boys dating a dominant woman/person for the first time 👁👁 can be nsfw or not, your choice! if it’s silly you don’t have to fill it- btw i love ur your writing muah

👁👁 Wow…… Anon, you’re my best friend now and ily… Dominant HCs unlock my sharingan tbh… but my taste is actually really particular and not very mainstream so i really hope that this is what you had in mind and is suitable! Hopefully this is nsfw-enough for you!! 

18+!!!

sorry everyone because i went crazy again and this is super…. Long…..

Lowkey this is me @ myself rn tho for finishing this (although tell me why this sounds like the way abigail talks to john LMFAOOO) 

Arthur 

Despite being the biggest yes-man on the planet, he’s not really used to being considered the “submissive” one in any relationship

He’s big and tough looking, so anyone who can get up in his face and boss him around is pretty commendable in his eyes

Especially if it’s a romantic partner

It’s a little awkward at first because he’s so used to being the one providing for everyone, that being taken care of, or even just having his needs thought about, really makes him 🥺😳

To him, what’s attractive about having a dominant partner is partially just knowing that he doesn’t have to hide anything about himself

You WANT him to be himself, and will call him out when he’s not

In a way, he also honestly doesn’t mind not having to be there for you 24/7

That isn’t to say he’s not prepared to fight for and protect you, but knowing that you’ll stand by his side and always tell him how you really feel brings him a great deal of comfort 

If you fight with him about joining him for rides, bounties or chores for Dutch... 

Not only does it make the trips easier, but it also starts making the sex better

Basically... AFTER WORK SEX!!

(Sorry mom, please forgive me) 

And while it doesn’t happen at first... Once you let the pet names start slipping, he’s officially a goner 

The more intense they are, the better 

Sweetie, Baby, Sugar, Pookie, etc. all have him melting in a puddle 

Especially if you’re nonchalant about it and pretend not to notice what it does to him 

All soft smiles and “Arthur, Baby, tell me where you left Charles’ bow?” 

Yes, he has to pass away 

(Not really though because we already lost him once) 

Once you start sharing a tent/cot/bed.... You have to be the big spoon 

People might disagree with this… But he is just in love with you trying to wrap both your arms around him and the way you throw your leg over his hip

Cuddle him like a teddy bear and squish his face in your chest PLEASE

It makes him feel loved and needed… And frankly… He deserves it

(I actually have this down as inspiration for a fic, but…) I just imagine your relationship being one where you’re the one who makes him take care of himself, where you’re always trying to make sure he’s healthy and you do all the shopping for him and you’re the one to pick out all his new clothes.... And you make him stand still for you as you hold them all up to his chest to make sure they fit him right 

And he squirms when you touch him

He just feels good knowing that people see him being loved and getting taken care of

Basically, as long as it’s genuine, just treat him like your baby and he’s yours forever

John 

HOOO BOY

We already know this guy likes dominant people (*cough* Abigail *cough*)... But I really can’t lie to y’all… He’s a simp

The Absolute King of Simps 

At the beginning of your relationship, just as you’re getting serious and he’s begging to realize you aren’t namby-pamby, you could say anything to him and he’d just turn into a huge blushing fool 

Stuttering and everything when you ask him for things or for his help

Kisses are all opened-eyed, intense, and focused

He brings you some wildflowers that he found laying around and when you reach out to try to kiss him in thanks... 

You guessed it, he passes away 

Once you get more comfortable with each other, if you start standing up to Abigail on his behalf... He’d do anything for you 

Not that he doesn’t care for Abigail, but it’s easier when he has backup and someone around who doesn’t tell him that he’s shitty all the time

Watching you get annoyed when Abigail says something mean makes him feel better

Before this all started, though, he has to admit that he did have a little fun trying to have secret sex with you before you came out as a couple 

Loves it when you start toying with his clothes when he’s around.... 

Do things like stick your hands in his pockets or hold onto his suspenders or belt loops as he’s walking or passing you by 

That thing you sometimes see old married couples do when one has their arms wrapped around the other while they’re doing something boring and mundane like sitting around 

Um... Do that to him

Since he’s bad with expressing himself and has been verbally brutalized by Abigail on more than one occasion, his favorite thing is really just physical contact... 

Especially if you aren’t shy about it 

Okay I’m gonna day something controversial.... Straddle him... thanks and goodnight everybody

“John?” You call to him, though it’s more of a call for attention than a question, “Kiss me.” 

Lowkey this shit has me so fucked up bro 

Charles 

When he first realizes he’s pursuing someone more dominant than him, he’s a little bit… at a loss

He was raised a respectable gentleman, always taught to treat his partners delicately, so when he starts dating someone so bold and unafraid, it’s a little bit confusing to him

That’s not to say he doesn’t like it… but it’s honestly just unusual that he’s not exactly intimidating to you 

Most people find him quite large and overpowering, and never hesitate to question his skills as a natural leader... so having someone around him who takes the reigns from him ends up being a nice change

He just never really knew there was another option for him

This applies to sex, too, as he highkey enjoys sitting back and letting you take charge and pamper him 

He also ends up becoming really appreciative of the fact that you never hesitate to fight alongside him or take over what he’s doing

If Dutch ever sends you on a mission together… it’s over for anyone who gets in your way

He’s absolutely in love with the way you’re able to handle yourself around big tough guys 

And if you have a sharp tongue, that’s even better

The more headstrong and passionate about your beliefs you are, the better, basically

Literally power couple vibes only

Even if you just started dating, if you say anything mean to Micah… he’s going to get a boner 

Even just seeing you fight with people, verbally or physically, is also a turn on

Not even bothered if anyone tries to clown for being into someone dominant 

Cue him: *thinking about all the times you’ve had bomb ass sex* *sunglasses emoji*

Your sex life is basically a Megan Thee Stallion song 

Sorry, I don’t make the rules 

Lowkey if you ever told him to shut up or be quiet during an argument or sex he’d be 100000000x more in love with you

As long as you always have a mutual respect for one another and others, he’s gucci with practically anything else

Micah 

Knowing what we know about Micah… This one is a little bit tough

In the beginning, despite his obvious attraction, he will most likely try to fight with you and try to put you “back in your place”

Obviously, this absolutely does not work and he loses the fight every time 

But once his anger turns into sexual attraction... It feels good to just give up

It’s definitely kind of a sore subject for him, at first

Not that he doesn’t want to be with you, but he’s afraid of being seen as weak after talking all his big shit 

Even after you start dating, it takes awhile for him to truly calm down 

His eventual submission is partially based on the fact that he doesn’t want people to think he’s a bad boyfriend 

And the line is already very thin

Honestly, just pull your big ol’ puppy dog eyes on him (and/or threaten to leave him) and he’ll just sigh and go along with whatever you want

He’s both surprised and unsurprised that it becomes such that he has to “earn” any affection from you 

You don’t really express this outright, but you both know it’s all deliberate

He begins to like the feeling of giving in and making you happy, and though it takes him awhile to get used to, he definitely starts to like pleasing you (and yes, in every single way), as well

It’s an accomplishment that he can actually take pride in

Especially since you started withholding affection from him when he gets a little too high on his horse 

Knowing you’re pleased with him and seeing you happy, along with the kisses (and… more) he knows he’ll receive later, is the reward in and of itself

Lowkey just proud of the fact that he can keep a fighter happy 

Honestly, I’m just imagining him being all grumpy about having to do something for you, but still doing it anyway 

“But Micah, I thought you wanted to make me happy?” Or “Awe, Micah, don’t make me sad…” 

He’s like “Smh, fuck” because you know he can’t resist when you’re being s✨a✨s✨s✨y

If you ever call him Daddy to tease him, he 100% will call you Mommy

Dutch  

Please pussy whip this dude, PLEASE

He literally deserves nothing less

He’s so used to being with docile and private girls that the attraction to you is not only needed, but also very natural 

He notices it at first by the way you stare at him

It’s a curious look, not exactly mean, but not exactly kind either

As we know, he doesn’t really like it when people challenge his ideas, but for some reason, whenever it comes to you… He’s willing to lend an ear to hear what you have to say 

That being said, most of the time it’s just to tell him to stop picking on Arthur or siding with Micah (because what else would it be about? 🤡)

Micah gets pissy about this and tries to tell Dutch to stop listening to you, but you just tell just tell him off, too 

Dutch is always surprised that he finds this attractive

Honestly, being with someone who he considers to be on the same level as him is very alluring 

The fact that you value your own opinions as much as he values his… 

It’s spicy, basically

Most of the time, you have to force him to give you affection 

Not by begging, but by demanding 

Hold out your hand until he holds it, or strip in a place where he can see you but can’t touch

(Tie him up *cough*) 

And when he’s standing around camp, busy doing work or talking to people, hug him from behind, drape yourself on him, or make a place for yourself on his lap… ANYTHING to distract him and to get what you deserve

It drives him crazy, but at the same time, he can’t resist a lil brat like that

That being said…at the same time, he is also someone who needs to earn affection from you

He doesn’t realize this, but you are just as stubborn as he is, and as soon as he realizes he’s been ignoring you for too long and you’ve stopped giving him any attention… WHEW!

He will really start acting like a clown just to get you to touch him again

Especially if he sees you pretending to twirl your hair around the other boys in camp 

Eventually, he discovers he needs to beg for you 

Give you things, call you sweet names, massage you, take you on trips out of camp, have Pearson give you extras... Anything and everything to show you that he’s sorry

It works… eventually… and when you’re finally together… unbutton his clothes and pull his hair to tell him how he makes you feel

 Steal the cigar from straight out of his mouth and start to smoke it... See what he lets you do to him later

Turned on by the fact that he thinks you need him and he needs you, but at the same time, definitely down to be a cuck if you ask

It takes a while, but he turns into a total “Yea, Dear” and “Anything for you” type eventually

Unfortunately, though he likes praise, it’s not fun to give it to him simply because he already thinks he’s so great

No you’re not, King, I promise...

Kieran 

God, it’s really not hard to be the dominant one with him

He’s used to being told what to do, so when he starts noticing his attraction to you, there’s no surprise why

That being said, it’s definitely more of a gentle dominance he finds himself drawn to 

While his general efforts at existing often go unnoticed by most, it’s the praise you give him that really gets him the most in the beginning

Later, that evolves into being praised in the bedroom… But that’s a story for another time *winky face* 

All I have to say… Handjobs 

Also… edge him

Okay bye now for real 

It’s very likely you’ll have to start the relationship off slow, but before you know it, he’ll be wrapped around your finger

That being said, do not abuse this power *insert gun emoji* 

Of course he needs to be bossed around, but it has to be with good intentions 

“Kieran, Sweetie, would you mind taking my horse out today?” And “Kieran, could you please get the washing bins set up for me?” AND “Kieran, would you mind grabbing something for me, babe?” 

The list goes on and on and on... and yet he is happy to do it all for you 

It’s all in the way you whine his name

Because yes, you got him. 

Also, please tease him

While he is a pretty shy about it, he has to admit he loves that the way you poke fun at him makes his heart beat fast

“Aw, Kieran, don’t be shy!” And “You like that, huh?” 

Initiate lots of PDA, since he absolutely loves it but is too shy to do it himself

Kiss him on the cheek, drag him around by the arm, play with his hair, ANYTHING, and he’s putty in your hands

Flash him in public…………....

Praise Jesus

YES, HE IS THE LITTLE SPOON!

Javier

Javier thinks very highly of himself, so meeting and falling for someone dominant is actually very surprising to him

This is partially due to the fact that because he thinks so highly of himself, he’s never visualized his relationship as anything other than with him as the top

Once your relationship takes off, however, he realizes that he actually doesn’t mind being the one who gets taken care of

He is quite spoiled, after all

That being said, he is probably very private about the whole thing, mostly because he’d be the most sensitive about getting teased for being “submissive”

Once the honeymoon phase is over, though, it’s a lot easier to treat him the way you want to 

Wear clothes that belong to him, especially clothes that he likes

Not only does he think this is extremely sexy, but it also means that he has a harder time choosing his own outfits

Plus, he loves a good strip tease… 

Dodge him when he tries to kiss you or cover his lips with your fingers

Then tease him when he thinks you’re done and keeps trying to give you affection

The best way to get him to pay attention to you is by ignoring him 

It’s not as severe or as serious as it with Dutch, but pretending you don’t see him when he’s showing off or talking to you immediately gets you whatever you want

It’s all in good fun, though 

P u l l  h i s  h a i r

ESPECIALLY if you’re trying to get something from/out of him

Highkey, this dude loves cuddles

They’re one of the few things he’s open about begging for

You can tease him for this, but as long as you give in and just… hold him… he’s a very happy boy

 Big fan of spooning but also of just being tangled up with you in any which way… 

It doesn’t matter if he’s laying on you or you’re laying on him

Both are good

Lowkey... do nasty things to him at the campfire

It doesn’t even have to be that nasty, even just putting your hand on his inner thigh or up his shirt is enough to Put Him on High Alert

Pinch him...

Just… pinch him, please. 

He likes it

Despite enjoying your dominance, at the end of the day, he doesn’t mind it if you get a little bratty and demanding sometimes, too 

Especially in the bedroom *winky face* 

[mousehole5000]

more tgcf chapters 143-173 lets goooooo

PEI MING BOO HISS except actually okay he’s mostly funny i think but still boo hiss

“hey who’s this guy who’s really pissed at you?” “oh thats my sword. i broke it.” alright then!

i think i need to go back and reread the banyue pass arc bc im still confused as to whats going on with banyue and pei su

“Banyue dropped from the sky with two pots raised. Without a word, she plummeted with the mouths of the pots facing down, trapping and detaining the shocked Ming’guang and the roaring Ke Mo within.” - THATS MY GIRL

“It must be known that, to heavenly officials, it certainly was more than natural for kingdoms of the mortal realm to fight and annihilate one another; the acts of these plays progressing on endlessly. But when it came their own turn, it was often hard to let things go. If one must stand in the same court as the one who annihilated their own kingdom, and that man cavorted in the heavens, exceedingly flashy, then it must be vexing.” - hmmmm!!

“I’ve spoken too many words in this lifetime. What are you referring to?” - okay to be fair thats a mood

okay its nice to get some pei ming backstory and its funny that he and xie lian are bonding but also still whenever pei ming interacts with a female character my hackles rise like a cat lol

“Xie Lian watched as Banyue thought really hard before cheerfully pulling out a few long, wine-red scorpion-snakes, and putting them into the bubbling pot.” - THATS MY GIRL

“Although “smell” was something colourless and formless, the instant Banyue removed the pot cover, it was as if some mysterious physical object had twisted all the air around the mouth of that pot. The group stared at the sight within the pot for a long time. Their pupils reflected an endless, bottomless darkness; like it could pull them into the abyss. No words could describe the sentiment expressed within their eyes. A moment later, Xie Lian patted Banyue’s shoulder and gave a thumbs-up.” - like father-figure like daughter-figure. amazing.

“However, what if one day mortals discovered something completely new that ran faster than horses? Then, when this new invention overtook horses, worshippers of this heavenly official who controlled horses would inevitably decrease. Such heavenly officials, flashing by like shooting stars, made up the majority of the heavens.” - obsessed with this, genuinely. life and change. worship and its purpose. my religious studies diploma on my wall is screaming at me rn. ALSO i am once again thinking about celebrities

“...” It was only then that Pei Ming seemed to notice, and started to contemplate this question. A moment later, he answered, “A habit. In a dark, creepy place like this, isn’t it normal to hold women in your arms, to comfort them and calm their fears?” “I’m sorry, but I wasn’t scared,” Banyue said.” - BANYUE I LOVE YOU. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH. god this takes me back to every college party i ever went to

LING WEN BACKSTORY????? shoeseller chosen for godhood bc she wrote a political essay and got arrested...... and now she’s face to face with the official who appointed her..... do go on.....

“Ling Wen laughed out loud, seeming to be enraged, and her voice dropped. “Very well! You said I couldn’t reach that high. Then, might I ask you: had the prominence of the Palace of Jing Wen at its peak ever reached even the knees of my Palace of Ling Wen??” - GET HIM!!!! BOO HISS JING WEN

“Compared to you, I’m not that bad,” Ling Wen said. “You’d personally order me to stay in the Palace of Jing Wen until midnight, then turn around and say I shamelessly hang around ‘til late to harass you. Words murder without form; I was much nicer responding with blatant violence.” - ling wen im love you..... also this bit... feels Real

BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN!! FLOWER PETALS TRANSFORMATION!!! see hua cheng? look as how cool it can be when you leave the story for a little while!! bc then you get to return and make an entrance!!

“Not only can you bring forth bloody rain, you can also make flowers shower. I didn’t know that. How fun!” - cute!! and in that moment we were all xie lian

“Everyone was stunned by his deed, and Ling Wen arduously gave him a thumbs-up. ”Ol’ Pei, what a man!” Pei Ming gritted his teeth. “WELCOME!” - aww three two tumors buddies!!

okay yin yu is here and xie lian did the equivalent of asking someone when the baby is due only to find out theyre not pregnant at all. then rong guang taunts yin yu and no one says anything. i do love the amount of awkward moments in this book tbh sometimes there are no words.

“All around was sand and mud crushing at him, exceedingly suffocating. The sand and mud was also moving endlessly; the feeling was like he was swallowed into the stomach of a giant monster, and that monster had also eaten a bunch of other things besides him, tumbling everything in its stomach, trying to digest” - ooooh creepy!!! the red string thing... is cute.... also xie lian being able to see hua cheng’s butterfly vision by looking directly into his eye is kinda cool. and obviously homoerotic.

“Are lower-ranked heavenly officials below other people?” Quan Yizhen asked. “No,” Yin Yu replied. Were they not? It was obvious that he himself didn’t believe in his own words, and Quan Yizhen also noticed. A good while later, he said bluntly, “I don’t like it here.” Yin Yu said nothing.” - im having emotions. and then yin yu also saying he doesnt like it there either.... also idk how this scene is going to play out but as much as im enjoying quan yizhen being an icon i can also possibly see how yin yu could eventually get to the point of “i am tired of being nice. i do just want to go apeshit” even if he really cares about qyz. it happens </3

“Indeed,” Hua Cheng said. “Half a year later when Quan Yizhen actually ascends, he won’t find it so funny anymore.” “Can we watch that part too?” Xie Lian asked. “We can. Hold on,” Hua Cheng replied.” - quan yizhen king of taking things literally. also why did this turn into hualian having a movie night

jian yu seems like the kind of asshole who would purposely give someone regular soda when they specifically asked for diet soda. god yin yu is really having a bad day i really feel for him in the whole situation with the brocade immortal

awww okay at least jian yu tried to take responsibility. im still mad at him tho that was objectively a terrible idea. god this whole situation sucked :(

“Rocks and earth crushed at them from all around, forcing their bodies to press tightly against one another, their faces brushing, their ears warm. Although it wasn’t the right time, a thought flashed through Xie Lian’s mind: “‘To die buried together’ doesn’t feel so bad.” - okay... im kind of emotional.... gay people....

okay obviously these murals and the prince of wuyong have some connection (im guessing pretty direct) to xie lian and are important but everytime they start analyzing one i feel like im back in art history class fhadskfhskjdhf not that thats a bad thing!! i liked art history a lot tbh

“Don’t worry, they’re not human,” Hua Cheng said. “It’s precisely because they’re not human that we have to worry, alright….” Xie Lian thought.” - goth ghost bf problems

xie lian: well, there is one person i trust more than anyone else, someone who’s first in my mind hua cheng, oblivious: oh :/ xie lian, also oblivious: what? hua cheng: you shouldnt trust so easily its dangerous xie lian: oh. haha. yeah. well. wanna,,, know who it is? hua cheng: its :) fine :) it :) doesnt :) matter :) but of course you can tell me if you want to gege xie lian, internally: well now ive made it weird hua cheng, 5 minutes later: actually i need you to tell me. right now. its totally for your security me: gay people smh

“As they suspected, he had been captured by Qi Rong. Although no one was bound by ropes, there were balls of greasily green ghost fires hovering over every one of their heads.” - completely off track but anybody else remember the great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts song

“Could there actually come a day when Qi Rong was embarrassed that someone might see the manner in which he ate? Before Xuan Ji entered, she put Guzi down. Guzi, ta-ta-ta, ran in, rushing straight to Qi Rong’s side. But when he saw him, he pointed his finger. He cried, “Dad is eating bad things in secret again!” “I’m not!” Qi Rong retaliated.” SCREAM IS QI RONG LEARNING THE POWER OF LOVE NOOOO also god that poor man whose body he has im starting to doubt if he’ll ever be free jimmy novak flashbacks

everytime we get another ghost king power somewhere someone should be writing hua cheng the cyborg bf in a high tech futuristic au i think thats the only other potential setting that could truly capture this wild ride

“In truth, throughout history, there was no man in the world who didn’t love bragging. A breeze could blow the handkerchief of a brothel girl into a man’s hand, and he would turn around and say the most beautiful of renowned escorts had fallen in love with him; holding shoes and wiping benches for the emperor’s mistress’s uncle’s grandson’s cousin’s mistress would for sure become him being an important administrator at the residence of royal relatives, raising his status. Thus, men who didn’t brag were a rare species.” - SCREAM this is going in my favorite tgcf quotes folder god... mxtx come here let me shake your hand

read the story of rain master yushi huang’s ascension. why am i crying. also this bit im crying again me with my stuffed animals “Thus, while Yushi Huang was cultivating at the Temple of Yulong, every time when she went to seek water and passed that door, she would rub the head of that ox. The door knocker soaked in her essence of life, and when the Rain Master ascended, the ox ascended with her.”

okay thats enough for now i have 7 more chapters to book 4!!! woo!!!

[buckysgrace]

im late to the game but plz give me all the daphne / williams family lore. I am obsessed

Ah!! Never too late! I'm very stoked that you're interested actually, I hope you enjoy!!

Bruce was born upper middle class but made all of his money back once he became a successful lawyer.

Meanwhile Ruby was born from money. She went to school to be a doctor but dropped out in her final semester. Was not the best at cooking at first but took a ton of classes to get better.

They met in college actually, while Bruce was working at the campus library. Their first date was a picnic out in a corn field.

They decided to move out to ND because of how sparse the population was. They really wanted somewhere that was in the country

Ruby was really good friends with Linda, which is how they met Roy. Neither knew about what happened to her.

Went to church a lot but not usually Roy's. Ruby was not a fan of Roy at all.

They tried really really hard to get Gator and Noelle to like each other but they just couldn't stand one another. Noelle was a biter as a child too smh

Tons and tons of videos and pictures of the kids. They used to act out different “shows” and create their own films with it when they were little

August was a very hyper and wild child. Bruce was a lot harder on him than the other kids. He was more likely to play with the twins than what Noelle was.

Went to college for a few years but ultimately decided it wasn't for him. A really good mechanic, but mainly works to take care of the ranch

Noelle. Very sapphic. Does not like men. Has a severe attitude but also cares deeply about her family. Definitely Bruce's favorite lol.

Finishing up her school to become a lawyer, following in her daddy's footsteps hehe.

Oliver tries his best to be a protective "older" brother but, sometimes just comes off as annoying. A little jealous of Daphne because he did have a crush on Gator as a child lol. Ruby's sweet little boy as well.

Went to school to be a journalist. Always wanted to become a news anchor tho

Daphne and Oliver look just like Ruby. Noelle has Ruby’s features but Bruce’s hair and eyes. August is Bruce's little mini me however.

Noelle and August both have scars from getting stitches on their arms. They jumped from the top of the barn and landed on a rake that cut their arms up pretty bad smh

Gator really did fit in as one of the kids. He spent many nights, weekends and even weeks in the summer staying with them when things were bad between his parents.

Noelle and Daphne were much more likely to fight than the rest of the siblings. Usually because of clothes, makeup, or just because Daphne could be annoying lol

August was much more likely to play with the twins, but Oliver always cried and whined if he got too rough lmao. Definitely the type to cover Oliver's mouth while he's crying and beg him to not tell dad lmao

Daphne is the only one allergic to peanuts. She's also allergic to bug bites. Oliver and Noelle both have bad seasonal allergies.

When Daphne wasn't around Gator she was always attached to Oliver. They played a lot of Just Dance on the Wii, Super Mario Party on the GameCube and tons of Lego games on the Xbox.

August used to take the twins (and Gator) up to the gas station to get jerky and slushees after he got his first job and car.

Daphne competed in barrel racing when she was young. She won a few competitions with her horse Butter. August also competed when he was younger.

She fell in love with music at an early age. Used to dream about becoming a Nashville star lol. Lots of singing in the shower. Did choir in high school as well

She's really good at photography too. Prefers to use disposable cameras

They're real big on movie nights. Usually, birthday parties consisted of going to some type of movie, birthday person picks <3 Lots of movies about haunted houses and dumb comedies

Also took summer trips to Disney and occasionally to various beaches. Oliver and Daphne get sunburnt the worst lol

August is the tallest, then Oliver, Daphne and Noelle.

Daphne looooooves finding poor little animals to bring home and save. Big ole animal lover

Her first car, her lovely truck, was a hand me down from one of August’s friends. She got it for 100 bucks.

Birdie is obviously Daphne's special baby. He's attached to her hip, her first born if you will. Gets late night zoomies and loves to lounge in the windowsills.

Grades were important to their parents, but the kids still had chores to do on the ranch. Most of them found out that if they did sports/activities

Daphne went to prom all four years because of Gator. The first two years she wore Noelle's former prom dresses.

She also tried out for cheerleading but she was not good at it lol. She did, however, play volleyball for a while.

Noelle and Oliver both tried to have a big coming out moment but at that time, everyone already knew lol

Ruby and Bruce were always a stickler about the kids going to college, but absolutely supports the kids if they choose to do otherwise (although Bruce will grumble about it)

[adcres]

         howdy hey , pardnerrrs :> i’m rox ( she / her ) ‘n i’ll be playing yr residential sullen broodin’ boy , nico . i didn’t have the time to write out a whole new intro , given that i have back to back classes again today :-’( , so please forgive me for recycling his old intro akawodkgrsd ; . that being said , i did tweak around some tingz and i updated his wcs for him , so if yr down to clown around just hmu on my discord :   𝔰𝔴𝔢𝔢𝔱 𝔦𝔫𝔰𝔬𝔪𝔫𝔦𝔞#2854 !  okie okie , i’ll shut da eff up now ♡ 

BASICS.

༉‧₊˚✧ kim taehyung , cis man , he / him / his — did you see that nicholas “nico” yoon was trending last night ? the twenty three year old street artist has been getting a lot of press lately . i think it’s due to them being so + quixotic & + free-spirited , but i always thought they seemed - withdrawn & - sybaritic . their fans always say they remind them of soft smoke rings spun in a dreamy haze , silver-ringed fingers rapping against polished oak , and waning light refracting against broken glass though . i wonder if they’ve found out about REDACTED yet … i guess we’ll have to wait and see . [ rox , 22 , pst , she / her , none ]

PINTEREST & PLAYLIST .

01 and 02 .

PERSONALITY .

at first glance , nico reads as this aloof , arrogant type that doesn’t like to associate w the common public . always keeping the majority of people at a comfortable distance , nico moves almost exclusively within his own social network , and doesn’t like to deviate from what he knows best .  

not so much pretentious as he is lazy , making an effort to socialize with complete strangers is simply something that nico would never do . hehe ... he’s kind of shy like that .... ♡ though he’d literally never admit it ♡

despite giving the impression that he’s some intimidating and chronically indifferent kind of guy , nico is genuinely a sweet boy — ‏‏‎ one who’s in a constant state of confusion as to why people seem to be so scared of him . it always comes as a shock when close friends of his admit that they thought he absolutely hated their guts when they first met him .

b/c tho he’s p smart , nico is very oblivious at times , and he’s 100% the kind of guy who’ll walk away from a conversation thinking he did a rly rly good job trying to make a friend ... when in reality he prob said four words in the span of thirty minutes smh .

overall , nico’s a private person , especially with what he’s thinking ... and it’s really hard to get a clear read on what’s on his mind . sharing his feelings has never been one of nico’s interests b/c he just genuinely doesn’t think whatever he has to say is rly worth mentioning . so he usually just shuts da fuck up n lets other ppl talk so he can mentally gain the strength to continue socializing .

push nico’s buttons enough tho ‘n you’ll catch this mf speaking in full sentences .

lastly , it should b noted that nico is a romantic through n through ... this mf probably d*ed in the victorian era ‘n got reincarnated b/c he’s got that ‘ lets share furtive glances across the room but never say a thing to each other  ‘ thing on lock . mr. darcy headass

and while nico might play the role of long-suffering , ever pining lover to a T , he’s more in love w / the idea of love than he is w / any single person . and he literally cannot hold down a relationship w/o fucking it up for himself in some shape or form .

kind of sarcastic ... v much the teasing type .... 

can b very impulsive at times , loves to go on solo adventures at night , prefers his own company tbh ...

overview : melancholic , reticent , noncommittal , humble , mild-mannered , romantic .

a mix of : josh from clueless and j.d. from heathers

more here .

MORE AESTHETICS.

the chill of silver jewelry against flushed skin , forgotten graffiti on porcelain sinks , flickering motel lights , kisses sticky with vodka , eyes ringed with lavender , sleepless nights surrendered to the dull buzz of television , obscure art house films , sun-kissed cheeks , the surprise of summer rain , chest aching with lost loves , scattered baby’s breath and rosemary , and a shared smile between perfect strangers .

CHARACTER DISSERTATION.

nico was born on a brisk wintry morning in the fashion district of los angeles ( january 21st , 1997 ) to a family of six .

as the second youngest child , and the only male son to boot , nico grew up with his only inheritance being a generational kind of hunger , one that demanded for more than what his struggling parents could offer

the arts stole nico at an early age ... ushering him into a world of creation and freedom beyond the four bleak walls he daily occupied . from spending lonely summers tucked away in some forgotten corner in the library to practicing on a borrowed violin from dawn to dusk , nico knew that even with nothing at his disposal , there was always something to be made w/ the tools he’d been given  

despite not having the money for private tutors to hone their son’s growing artistic talents , his parents did whatever they could to support his dreams , whether that meant working double shifts back to back or scrounging for loose change underneath the sofa cushions to pay for whatever materials nico needed .

it was in this strange way that nico grew up p spoiled . somehow having nothing while also having absolutely everything at the same time .

very much a family man , the first big purchase nico made once he broke out in hollywood was a house in beverly hills for his parents . now that he’s finally at a place where he can take care of his family , nico makes sure that his parents and sisters want for nothing

while he showers everyone else with generous gifts and obscene amounts of money , nico doesn’t particularly feel comfortable doing the same for himself . he’s a simple man through n through . one who’s content to spend his time walking his dog late at night , listening to a podcast on his airpods , instead of going out to a club w/ other well-known socialites .

a true artist at heart , nico refuses to conform to the current trends of hollywood , instead insisting on wearing thrifted clothes to important galas — ‏‏‎much to the frustration of his PR team and the chagrin of his stylists . but none of the choices nico makes seems to surprise anyone anymore . driving flashy cars and wearing designer clothes has never really been his style , after all . and it’s important to him that he remain authentically himself despite everything .

WANTED CONNECTS.

pr relationship ( open ) : someone that nico is contractually obligated to date ... i could totally see there being drama ‘n tension from having to pretend to actually like each other ... would b better if they rly did not like each other at all ... 

fwb ( open ) : buddies who bump uglies sometimes ... they both agreed they’d never catch feelings for each other but we’ll see ... 

frenemies ( open ) : someone that grinds nico’s gears but they’re a friend of his friend ... so they’re forced to keep it civil . i can see them exchanging hateful comments in the back of their friend’s car while simultaneously posting pics of each other on ig to keep up the rouse . 

unrequited crush ( open ) : likely nico would not realize if yr muse had a crush on them ... but it’d be fun to play it out like a kdrama anyway heh heh

a close friend group ( open / any ) : i thought it’d b so cute if there was like a small group of friends , maybe 3-4 ppl , that do stupid shit like ditch going to celebrity after-parties to break into abandoned buildings , get real high , ask stupid ‘ would u rather ‘ questions , and do sum main character type shit ... yk what im puttin down ... ‘n nico is def the type to open up in the presence of extroverts so i think having a group of wild outsiders of diff bgs would b v inch resting ..

enemies / rivals ( open / any ) : tbh nico prob rubs ppl the wrong way since he has resting bitch face ‘n never wants to talk to anyone .. so im sure there r ppl who just do not like this mf ... and rest assured that the feeling is mutual ...

bad / good influence ( open / any ) : nico’s known to mount his high horse often ... mr morality over here ... so i just know he prob would butt heads w/ the residential troublemaker . tho nico’s artwork can be controversial and out of the box at times , his art style and his personality are at constant odds , and it’d b interesting to have that bad influence / good influence dynamic w/ someone .

family friend ( open ) : someone who grew up w/ nico in dtla ... couldve gone to the same public school as him ... or their families couldve gone to the same church ...

ok my intro post has become a fucking behemoth so im going to stop here ‘n just say i have so many more wcs in mind so if u wanna plot lets just talk hehe :>

[hayleysstark]

Hi! I love reading your merlin thoughts, so can I ask if you have any headcanons for Elyan and Percival? They seem to have gotten v little characterization in the actual show compared to the others imo? I’d love to hear what you think!

headcanons for Elyan and Percival, you say??? i’m not sure i have very many of those ((like you said, they get almost zero characterization, and no real development, especially in comparison to, say, Gwaine or Lancelot)) but i can certainly see what i have for them!!!

Elyan:

really fucking sarcastic pretty much all the time. it gets to the point where not even Gwen can tell if he’s serious or not.

he has really intense bouts of insomnia. sometimes you’ll run into him on the training field in the dead of night, whacking away at the practice dummies. it just be like that sometimes. everybody knows to just let him be.

very jaded. pretty sure the whole world’s a piece of shit but by god he’s still going to save it anyway

drinks his Respect Women juice every day 

ARO 👏 ACE 👏 ICON 👏

CAN and WILL get wine drunk. ((if you think Gwaine ever lets him live this down, you are WRONG))

loves Gwen more than anything else in the whole-ass world, but his horse is a very close second

he’s terrible at taking advice ((too proud smh)) but he’s even worse at giving advice. please don’t ask him for solutions, he’ll probably tell you to hit your problem with a sword until it goes away. he really wants to help you, he just,,,,,,,,, doesn’t ???? know ???? how ?????

good at sewing !!! 

p e r f e c t i o n i s t 

buys Gwen pretty things literally all the time ((the knights’ salary is absurdly high, as far as he’s concerned, why not spoil his sister ??? she deserves nice things after all)). sometimes his idea of “pretty things” is far, FAR different from what is actually a pretty thing, though. has Gwen forgiven him yet for the Shrimp Head Necklace Incident ???? survey says no.

really just ridiculously proud of his status tbh. he never thought he would ever do anything worthwhile. he always believed he was a dead-ender, a disappointment, a loser, he always thought he’d do nothing but let his family down. when Prince Arthur fucking Pendragon of fucking Camelot makes him a fucking knight??????? life-changing tbh. his cloak and sword are among his most prized possessions

Percival:

easygoing is this man’s middle name. captured by bandits?? nbd. he’ll find a way out of it somehow or other. imprisoned by an evil sorceress??? ooh tricky but it’ll make a fun story ’round the fire when he gets back to his fellow knights. literally nothing rattles this dude.

hot baths are the greatest joy in his life tbh 

always pays too much for things and INSISTS the shop owners and stall vendors keep the change. it was his mistake, after all. 

with his reserved nature and tall stature, you’d think he’d frighten people but this guy doesn’t have an intimidating bone in his body tbh. servants know they’ll be listened to and treated fairly if he’s around. children climb all over him like a fuckin playground. he loves it.

really devoted to his religion tbh. he wants something to believe in, and he wants to think there’s something bigger than himself out there to guide him

neat freak honestly

drunk Percival is sad Percival please don’t ever take him to the tavern ((looking at you Gwaine))

thunderstorms are his SHIT. the noise, the lightning, the rain ,,,,,,,,,,,,,

VERY!!!!! GOOD!!!!!!!! HUGS!!!!

will cry if you let him think too long about puppies

honestly, he really wants to settle down and start a family one of these days. maybe not anytime soon - Arthur and Camelot still need him far too much for that - but he can’t wait to find somebody to love, and share the rest of his life with, and raise children with. 

could live on chicken if only his friends let him

has caught precisely one (1) cold in his whole-ass life. freakishly strong immune system. everybody kinda quietly assumes he’s got magic, or maybe he’s a fae or some shit, but everybody is ALSO too scared to say this out loud and get him arrested

has Never Worn Sleeves and you can’t make him

really romantic tbh but thinks That’s Just What You Do In Relationships

that’s all i can remember off the top of my head!! i probably have more i forgot to add, but i hope that’s enough to give you the Good Elyan and Percival Content™️!! 

[praphit]

Gretel & Hansel: White people, hear me!

I know, I know, some of y'all were hoping that my next review would be Taylor Swift's "Miss Americana". 

I'm sorry to disappoint you. Why and how is she still making movies anyway? I thought that everyone associated with "Cats" had been banned from Hollywood.

Now, it WOULD be cool, if Taylor got involved in Horror. I'm thinking that a bunch of horror monsters could get together to track her down; kinda like a contest. They would, you know... do their thing to her, and then bring her back from the dead in the sequel, and repeat the process. Every now and then, they could throw in Justin Bieber or someone else with his same level of annoyance. BOOM! Franchise! So, donate to Praphit Productions (millions), so I can make that happen. I'll just CG Taylor Swift in, if I have to; I'm sure she'd be ok with that.

Just picture Jason Voorhees or Kanye West chasing her.

No, people, I'm here to talk to y'all about Hansel & Gretel!

No, no, no, I'm sorry! "Gretel and Hansel!"

I almost forgot about that blow up in their studio. Y'all remember that?

Sophia Lillis' (who plays Gretel - SHE’S GREAT IN THIS-BTW) first day on the set was raw! 

She walked up to the director and was like "Bleep this bleep! Who is Hansel? Who the bleep is he?! No one knows that actor! What is he, like 5 years old? Bleep him! How is his name first?! So, a woman can't lead a man, huh??! It's always gotta be Hansel first, right?! And what always happens?! That witch bitch always tries to eat them! Bleep that! Y'all know who I is! I'm Sophia bleeping Lillis! I was in "It" one AND two. What has "Sammy Leakey" (playing Hansel) been in??!

Not a damned thing! I want my name first! You will put it first or so help me God, I will UNLEASH THE FURY!"

Director (Oz Perkins): "I actually like that idea"

SL: "I don't give a bleep what you like! Just make it happen!" 

Then, she went to her trailer, and when she came back out, it was "Gretel & Hansel".

(Hansel’s not even in the shot. Lillis was too raw for him.)

Let's see if Gretel fairs better in this story, now that she's getting the chance to lead.

We all know this Brothers Grimm story. There's a family (I don't know what Gretel & Hansel's last name is... we'll just say "Shakur"). So, the Shakur Family was struck by a famine in the land. Stuff happens, and G & H end up off on their own, in the woods, and eventually meet up with a witch, who later tries to eat them.

White people, hear me! Are you listening? STOP GOING INTO THE WOODS! Seriously, STOP! I'm trying to save you. Black people know better, but y'all... smh. I know y'all like to go hiking, and camping, and taking selfies on mountain tops and shit, but PLEASE... STOP! Nothing good is waiting for you out there!

Quit going into the woods to get footage of alleged monsters/spirits. Quit going into the woods to spend the night in cabins. Quit going into the woods to party on the anniversary of the night that 12 people were mysteriously murdered in those same woods. STOP!

JUST STOP! DAMN!

Some of you might be thinking, "Well maybe Gretel will make it. Maybe now that she's leading the duo, things will be different." Nope, she's white... *sigh* so we all know what she and Hansel did...  went right into the woods.

This movie is mainly from Gretel's perspective. Right from the jump, we see Gretel being pimped out by her mama. Gretel of course declines to become a professional hoe, but when she comes back to her mama for a possible different direction in life, Mama is like "Would it have killed you to get on your knees for your family?! We're starving!"

I know - Mom of the Year.

Dad isn't even around. I may have missed something, but I don't remember where he was, or if maybe he ran away, a long time ago. One of those "Daddy went to get a pack of cigs, and never came back" scenarios. He may be off in a land flowing with Big Macs and Fries, Idk. Or maybe, being that his "selfish" daughter wouldn't put-out, he decided to get to work on the corner himself. Who knows where he was in this movie??

Gretel was def tough though. And she loved her brother! She was very protective of him. There is a scene where there's some sort of vampire creature chasing down Hansel, and Gretel stands up to the creature. That's the type of character that she is in this movie. She's smart, tough, and though sometimes hard on her bro, she loves him very much.

Hansel on the other hand is annoying as shit. And Dumb! Man, is he dumb! I'm surprised that we never see Gretel slap him. But, she is always able to compose herself in the midst of her annoying brother, and keep the journey going. She even calms him down at one point with some drugs. They end up eating some shrooms on their trip. Now, THAT'S love, people! Seeing someone in need of calming the bleep down, and offering them some good shit. What's a road trip without a moment when the group gets high??

There's a Lando-looking character that they meet along the way. 

He doesn't have much of a role in this movie. I'm not saying it's because he's black, BUT he's a fascinating, noble character, who's black and barely in the movie. And they do not trust him at all. I'm not saying it's because he's black... you know what?? - YES! Yes I am saying that!

He saves their lives, offers them food and shelter, and gives them specific instructions that will keep them safe. But, after that (the only character so far that has had G & H's best interests in mind), Gretel immediately questions his motives. White women, hear me! If a black man willingly sticks out his neck for you, IN THE DARKNESS, in order to save YOUR life, that's a man that you can trust. Cuz we (black men) all know, that if we try to save a white woman out in public (even if we succeed), there's a good chance that the cops will still swing by to shoot us. They're thinking just like Gretel is in this movie - "I know it LOOKS like they saved her, but... can we really trust him? - let's shoot him just in case." Granted, this Landoish character sends them off (again with instructions for their safety). They had no quarrels about leaving (and quickly).

So, they runaway from the compassionate black man, who just saved them, and they meet an old lady (the witch) who has black fingers, and house smells a lil like death... and they say to themselves "Let's sleep here!" Ain't that some shit??! 

White people, HEAR ME!

STOP!

They don't even question her black fingers, they just let her handle their food. I question people of whom I don't know, with normal fingers, handling my food, but... I guess that's just me.

Then, the rest of the story is legend.

The production design in this movie is absolutely amazing! If this film had no dialogue, and was just silent, it still would have been a beautiful movie (despite the cannibalism:)

The plot, I felt, was secondary to the cinematography.

Some of you might say, "Well that's nice and all, but is the movie scary? Does the witch, at some point, rev-up a chainsaw, and chase the two kids around her house?" No. "Ok, but does the movie, at some point, have little, pale Asian kids making creepy noises at H & G while they're trying to sleep?" NO! "Yeah, but is there some sort of human centipede action happening in the basement of the witch, and she tries to..."

NO! NO! HELL NO! What's wrong with y'all?!

No, none of that. The story that The Brothers Grimm have painted is horrifying enough. Famine and crappy parenting, leading to witch who wants to eat you... I'd say that's all that's required; the director knows this.

They don't need to use any gimmicks, just the same story (pretty much), a lil dark magic, the mentioned cinematography, and well-placed spooky music keep the movie in a consistent place of dread.

I think RT got this one wrong (59%). I don't have much bad to speak of, concerning this movie. I can't give it an A grade, due to it being a copy of a story that we've seen copied many times before. Plus, there are some ending issues I have with it, that I'll get to in a sec. BUT, this film is a hell of a B grade :)

SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!

SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!

SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I WARNED YOU!

A few things:

Soooooo, Gretel has some sort of connection to the witch that is never explained. Apparently, she has within her, the same powers as the witch.

She ends up sending her bro off to Lord knows where. She sends him off on a horse that she says she SPOKE TO, and he (the horse) will get Hansel there (where? who knows??) safely. So, she's talking the animals now?? When did she pick-up that skill? And where the bleep did she even get a horse?

There's some super grease that her and the witch use to do magic, that is never explained.

Now, none of this took away from my enjoyment of the film, but... still though.

There's a message of false empowerment at the end. Like I said, she abandons her brother, so that she can... fulfill her destiny or something. She has dark magic in her, but she is convinced that she'll use it for good. Like I said, Gretel is a SMART character... what happened to all of that smart? It's like saying "Hey, I have this STD, but instead of tending to it, I'm going to use my STD for good. It's going to be hard, but I've gotta be strong."

WHAT?!

I said "false empowerment". The movie isn't painting a picture of this being a good thing, but the "false" part is subtle enough to where people could walk away thinking it's an empowering message.

You abandoned your brother to become a witch! But, maybe I'm not being fair. Perhaps Gretel will be just fine. Throughout the history of human beings, we've had many people who were in power, and who thought that not allowing their power to be checked was the brave and noble thing to do. I think those times in history all worked out well right??

I could have added some pics to accentuate my last statement, but I feel it might have been a little too real:)

So, instead I'll leave y'all with this slightly less horrifying pic

... and bid you adieu.

STAY OUT OF THE WOODS!