#him and child will play fight entirely silently so I just like. look up and see child rabbit kicking his head
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soul-of-sin · 9 months ago
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Happy Wombling Wednesday yall
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himasgod · 30 days ago
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Can you do 2nd year's where u stop giving them attention? 🩷
SECOND YEARS X READER
Where you suddenly stop giving them attention
FIRST YEARS HERE
How would the second years react if you suddenly stopped pampering them due to lack of sleep because of your studies?
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Floyd was addicted to your attention.
Just like that. No sugarcoating.
He loved it when you looked for him, when you hugged him in public, when you called him “my baby” Because only you could do that without making him mad. Only you could calm his tide of emotions with a smile.
"Shriiimpy~ you're super cuddly today, I looove it."
He was happy. So happy he didn’t even try to hide it. He became calmer when you were around, more cheerful, less chaotic.
But when you stop showing up, when the “Floyd, come here” turns into “sorry, I have to go,” Floyd starts acting weird.
At first, he insists.
"Shrimpy! Are you ignoring me? Are you playing hide-and-seek without telling me? So boring!"
But when he realizes it’s not a game, that your eyes look dull, that you don’t even notice you’re pushing him away, something inside him churns. His smile fades. He stops going after you. He just watches you from afar.
And inside, he feels like a forgotten child.
Until one day, he gets fed up.
He corners you against your locker with his arms on either side of your head, his face more serious than ever.
"What’s wrong with you? You don’t love me anymore? You got bored? Did I piss you off?"
You don’t know what to say. You’re so tired you don’t even have the strength to lie. You just lower your head, murmuring a soft “sorry, I’m exhausted.”
And Floyd… goes still.
"You’re sad? You’re tired and didn’t tell me?"
He looks at you in silence for a second. Then wraps his arms around you tightly, hiding his face in your neck.
"I don’t care if you don’t hug me or look for me… but don’t disappear on me like that. Don’t leave me without you, Shrimpy."
And that day, Floyd doesn’t let go of you for a second. He carries you like a blanket and takes you to his room, lets you sleep against his chest like a plushie and sings you a song softly, no teasing, no sarcasm.
"Sleep. I’ll take care of you. Even if you don’t spoil me, I’ll spoil you now."
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Jamil wasn't used to being the center of anyone's attention.
His whole life revolved around obeying, caring, and repressing. Emotions were dangerous. Affection… even more so.
So when you started doting on him—for real, without expecting anything in return—he refused to believe it.
Every touch of yours made him tense; every sweet word forced him to look away.
But he got used to it. Or rather, he allowed himself to depend on it a little. On you. On your silent attentions. On how you noticed when he was overwhelmed and simply held his hand without saying anything. On how you reminded him that he was valuable beyond his usefulness.
And then, one day, all of that stopped.
Without an explanation. Without a fight. Without an "I'm tired." Just… absence. Averted glances. "Sorry, I don't have time right now." Entire days without messages. And he, silent, swallowing his doubts.
"Did I dream it? Was it always a lie? Have they had enough of someone like me?"
He doesn't tell you. Jamil would never admit it. But he starts acting drier, more evasive. He avoids you so you don't notice how much it hurts. Until he sees you asleep with your head on your notes, your back hunched, and your breathing heavy with stress.
And in that instant, the anger collapses. All the accumulated venom turns to worry.
He approaches silently. He covers you with his jacket. He sighs deeply, as if crushed by the weight of something he can no longer contain.
"…You're not the only one who's tired of pretending everything is okay."
He wakes you gently, almost fearfully. When you open your eyes, you see something different in his: not anger, not reproach… but contained sadness.
"If you're exhausted, tell me. Don't leave me alone imagining that I no longer mean anything. Because you don't know how much it hurts when the only place where I felt free… disappears too."
That day, Jamil accompanies you to your room. He forces you to eat, to drink water, to sleep well. He doesn't ask you for anything in return.
But as he strokes your hair with trembling fingers, he whispers softly:
"This time, it's my turn to take care of you. But don't go away. Not again."
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Kalim adores you. There's no other word. For him, your love is like the sun after a sandstorm, like a laugh in the midst of silence.
He's always been generous, always giving love without asking for it. But when you started pampering him, it was as if for the first time he received without needing to give. Your spontaneous kisses, your texts reminding him to drink water, your way of saying "I miss you" even though you'd only seen him two hours ago…
"It makes me so happy to know you're thinking of me!" he would always tell you, hugging you tightly.
So when that disappears, Kalim doesn't know what to do.
At first, he tries to cheer himself up. "I'm sure they're busy. Everything will be okay."
But as the days pass, uncertainty eats away at his smile.
He starts looking for you more insistently. Laughing louder. Proposing plans.
"Let's go carpet flying! We haven't been out in a long time!"
But you just tell him, “I'm sorry, Kalim, I can't today.”
And that day, when you walk away without looking him in the eye, something in his expression changes. His smile freezes.
He follows you with his eyes until you disappear into the hallways. Then he sits alone, in a corner of the garden, hands clasped together.
“Maybe… I did something wrong. Maybe I was too intense. Maybe�� they don't love me like they used to.”
When he finally finds you asleep in the common room, exhausted and murmuring words in your sleep, his heart breaks.
“Oh… that's it. You're tired. You're so tired, and all I thought about was myself.”
He approaches carefully, tucks your hair behind your ear, and in a low voice, with that pure tenderness that characterizes him, he speaks to you even though he knows you're not listening:
“You don't need to be strong for me all the time. It's okay if you can't pamper me. I love you the same. I'll be here the same. Always."
That night, Kalim tucks you into the softest blanket he can find, leaves a cup of tea on the nightstand, and a note written in his big, cheerful handwriting:
“Don't miss me. Don't pressure yourself. Just rest. I'll be here when you wake up. I love you always, even when you can't show it.”
And yes. He keeps his promise. When you open your eyes, he's there, smiling brightly, holding your hand.
“Did you sleep well? It's my turn to take care of you today, okay?”
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Riddle was so nervous at the beginning of the relationship that every gesture of affection from you left him silent, blushing, confused. But over time, he began to crave your attention as if it were afternoon tea: part of his routine, a sacred ritual.
You organizing his schedule, reminding him to rest, kissing his forehead when his headache ached—it was your way of caring for him, and he accepted it like a blessing.
But when that disappears, Riddle panics.
He doesn't show it right away, of course. He denies what he feels.
"Theyre probably busy. I shouldn't bother them. I shouldn't show weakness…"
Until anxiety consumes him. Until he accidentally explodes.
"You didn't reply to the text I sent you three days ago! Did I do something wrong?! Why are you ignoring me?!"
And when you turn around, your eyes tired, unable to even stand completely, Riddle feels his heart sink.
"Oh… you're… you're exhausted…"
He sees you trembling. He sees the dark circles under your eyes. He sees you like a castle about to collapse.
Then he takes a step back, swallowing. He lowers his gaze. He approaches calmly and takes your hand, his tone infinitely softer.
"Forgive me. I didn't know how to see it. You don't need to explain anything to me. Just… come with me."
He takes you to his room. He changes his schedule. He suspends his studies. He makes tea. And when he sees you asleep, tangled in his blanket, he closes his eyes with guilt and tenderness.
"You taught me to be loved… now it's my turn to learn to care for you as you deserve."
And that night, Riddle Rosehearts doesn't sleep. He stays by your side, watching over your sleep, like someone tending a beautiful garden that has flourished even in the harshest spring.
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Jade is a man of subtleties. Of long silences, gentle smiles, and eyes that observe more than they say. When you started pampering him, at first he thought you were just playing around… but over time, he understood that your attentions were sincere. You made small braids in his hair when he rested with you, brought him new herbal teas to try, told him how much his presence calmed you.
And he, silently, became addicted to it.
Not because he needed it—or so he wanted to believe—but because it made him feel human, and not just another servant of his brother's capricious emotions or a mere executor of orders.
So when that warmth disappears overnight, when you stop texting him, stopping by the lounge, touching his hand for no reason… Jade doesn't say anything. He doesn't pressure you. He just observes.
But behind that apparent serenity, a restlessness begins to grow in his chest.
Until one day, when he notices you in the greenhouse, half asleep, lying on a flowerpot, your face covered in dirt and your hands trembling, he approaches silently. He doesn't say "I missed you," he doesn't complain.
He just crouches down beside you and begins to wipe the mud off your fingers with a white handkerchief.
"I was wondering… if plants also stop blooming if their gardeners forget themselves."
And then, without warning, he looks into your eyes, very close.
"I don't need your touch to be with you. But I can't bear to see you like this… as if you'd vanished without realizing it."
He helps you to your feet. He leads you to his room. He makes lavender tea. And that night, he sits beside you, silent, gently touching your hand, as if afraid of breaking you.
"When you're ready, I will once again receive each of your caresses with gratitude… but for now, allow me to take care of you."
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Azul is used to transactions. To giving in order to receive. To measuring affection in terms of utility and results. But you… you broke his logic from day one. You gave him attention and affection, without conditions. You hugged him when he frowned. You defended him when others saw him as just another merchant.
And Azul, for the first time, didn't know what to give in return. He felt awkward. Exposed. But happy.
"Are you sure you don't want anything? Not even a symbolic contract…?"
And yet, every time you looked at him with genuine love, his insecurities faded a little. Your affection transformed him.
So when you stop pursuing him, when your messages dry up and your visits to the Monstro Lounge cease, his first reaction is to panic.
"Did I say something wrong? Is she angry with me? Did she regret it?"
He starts replaying conversations, looking for signs. He locks himself in his office, checks his magic mirror to see you from afar (blame it on jealousy, blame it on anxiety), and what he sees isn't contempt… it's exhaustion.
He watches you drag yourself between classes. Fall asleep over your notes. Walk like a ghost.
And something in him snaps.
The next day, a note arrives, delicately folded.
"Come by the Lounge this afternoon. I've reserved the place just for us. It's not a formal date. I just want to see you."
When you arrive, Azul is waiting for you with a warm cup of your favorite beverage and a blanket draped over the shoulders of the most comfortable chair. He invites you to sit. He doesn't try to talk business, or magic, or anything. He just watches you, with unusual calm.
"I don't need your daily flattery to know you appreciate me. But if you're losing yourself, then I… I can't stay still."
His voice trembles a little. Azul isn't good at showing vulnerability. But he tries.
"You gave me more than I ever expected to receive. Let me give you back at least a part of it."
And that night, there are no contracts. No exchanges. Just Azul holding your hand as you sleep on his couch, a barely audible whisper in the air:
"Please… don't disappear again. You don't know how much I need you."
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Ruggie never considered himself someone worthy of much luxury or attention. He comes from what's fair, what's scarce. He’s used to giving more than he receives. But when you came into his life and started spoiling him —with food, sweet words, casual affection— at first, he got defensive.
"What’s up with you? Are you bribing me or what?"
But then… he got used to it. And without realizing it, he became addicted to it. To the way you looked at him like he was special. To how you remembered the things he liked. To how you hugged him for no reason and called him “my boy”
So, when all of that stops suddenly, Ruggie doesn’t take it well. And he doesn’t express it with sadness, but with forced humor.
"Hey, did you replace me or what? 'Cause you don’t even throw a “hi” my way anymore. I feel like a forgotten veggie in the fridge."
He says it with a lopsided smile, like it’s a joke, but his hyena ears are drooping. His laugh sounds weak. He’s hurt, even if he doesn’t want to admit it.
When he finally sees you collapse in the cafeteria, your head buried in your arms, not even touching the food given to you, something changes. He doesn’t joke anymore. He pulls you out of the place without asking, takes you behind the kitchen, puts a bun in your hand, and makes you eat.
"You know I don’t mind if you don’t pay attention to me… but this isn’t okay. You can’t keep going like this. I don’t want to see you falling apart from trying to carry everything alone."
And when you look at him, for the first time in days, with eyes glassy from guilt and exhaustion, he sighs.
"Dummy. You got me used to your affection and now you take it away. That’s not fair, is it?"
But he hugs you, without resentment, with the tenderness he keeps only for you. And that night, without you asking, he cooks your favorite dish and sits down to eat with you, talking nonsense until you laugh.
"Come on, boss. You spoil me, but now it’s my turn to take care of you, okay?"
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Silver isn't a demanding person. His calm, almost ethereal nature makes him seem as if he's above common emotional needs. But since you've been with him, there's something that keeps him more awake, more grounded in the world. Your attentions, however small—a hand on his cheek, a loving whisper before he falls asleep, a smile when his eyes close—are what remind him that there's someone who chooses him every day, even when he's lost in his dreams.
That's why, when you start to distance yourself, he notices… even though he doesn't say anything.
At first, he thinks maybe he's imagining it. That he shouldn't be selfish. That you have your own problems too. But the days go by, and your greetings become automatic, your hugs are absent, and you're no longer there to wake him with affection when he falls asleep in the garden. And Silver begins to dream uneasy things. Dreams where he searches for you and can't find you. Where his world is silent and empty.
One afternoon, as you watch him from afar, he pauses, approaches with a serious look—serious, not angry—and offers you his hand.
"Come. I want to show you something."
He takes you to a corner of the forest where the sun's rays filter through the trees and the sound of water gently flows. There he sits with you, and for a moment he says nothing. He just listens. He watches the dark circles under your eyes form. How your shoulders slump with exhaustion.
"You always take care of me. You're always there for me, even when I can't stay awake myself. So now I want you to rest."
He takes off his coat and places it around your shoulders. Then he sits beside you, lets you rest your head on his chest, and closes your eyes.
"I don't need you to pamper me all the time. Just for you to be well. That's all I want."
And when you finally allow yourself to let out the silent cry, he doesn't move. He doesn't speak again. He just holds you. Like you did so many times.
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demonic0angel · 6 months ago
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Things that happened at Thanksgiving today, but I make it DPxDC
Damian: … Richard? What are you doing?
Dick: *standing on the lawn and staring into the distance* I’ve been watching Danny try and struggle to park for the past fifteen minutes.
Damian: Oh. *also stops to watch* Have you seen Danielle and Jasmine come in?
Dick: Tbh, no. I’ve been watching Danny this entire time. And oh— oh! He stopped. Ooh, he turned around. He’s leaving. Damn, he gave up entirely and decided to park on the grass. Oh, he ran over Alfred’s bushes.
Damian:
Dick:
Damian: He won’t make it past the gates without Alfred sniping him.
Dick: Damn, you’re right.
————
Damian: *after Jason did something* what do you think you’re doing, Todd?
Jason: Lol, your mom
Damian: Actually, my mom only used you for her own goals. In fact, your mom abandoned you. Twice.
Jason:
Dick: Now, Damian, that’s not—
Damian: People who have had their mothers die in front of them should not speak.
Dick:
Damian: *pointing at Tim* And you! You may have had two parents at one point, but they definitely don’t consider you as their child! That’s why you had to stay with your neighbors so long! You’re an inconvenience!
Tim:
Stephanie: Hey now—
Damian: I don’t even want to hear you. Does your mother know you go out and fight crime? Does she even care?
Stephanie:
Damian: *looking at Cass* You too, Cassandra! But mommy issues wouldn’t be the least of your problems with your daddy issues as well!
Cass:
Damian: *turning around to Danny* And I didn’t forget about you, Fenton! No wonder you fit right in, your abandonment issues, raging teenage angst, and appearance makes you just at home, doesn’t it?!
Danny:
Tim: …. What about Jazz?
Jazz: *who’s been silent the entire time*
Damian:
Jazz:
Everybody else:
Damian: No, she’s a guest here. Why would I do that?
————
Dani: Pfft— Tim, Tim, can I— *can’t breathe from laughing too hard* can I touch your hair? It just looks so soft! *still laughing*
Tim: …?
Jazz and Danny: *also laughing their guts out*
Dani: *tries to reach for Tim but she keeps laughing and can’t focus on asking him* Your hair looks so soft— keheheh! C-Can I touch it??
Dani: *eventually swipes her finger under Tim’s nose and falls off of her chair from cackling so loud*
Tim: …..
Jason: *also bursting out in laughter* YOUR FACE!! BWAHAHAHAH
*Dani then proceeded to do this four more separate times with other people*
————
Dick: You know how Harley is back together with the Joker?
Dan: Yeah?
Dick: He cheated on Harley again.
Danny: *whirling around, flabbergasted* HUH?!
————
Dick: *carrying several bottles* Alright! Time for alcohol!
Jazz: Uhhh, Dick? Damian is right there—
Dick: He’s getting drunk tonight too!!
Everyone: ????
Damian: Yes! Alcoholism! *takes a plastic cup and takes a big gulp*
Dan: *looking at the bottle* This says sparkling apple cider?
Dick: Shhhh, just watch the show.
————
*dramatic screaming from other room*
Bruce: ….? What’s that?
Dick: Is that Jason? He sounds like he’s in pain
Bruce: *standing up* is he okay? Does he need help? Should I go and help him?! What’s happening—
Tim: Jason is playing ping pong with Dan and Danny. And losing really badly while Jazz is watching.
Bruce:
Dick:
Tim:
Bruce: oh.
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sttoru · 1 year ago
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⠀ 𝝑𝑒 ⠀⠀ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. trying to get your cold boyfriend to crack a smile !
tags. toji fushiguro x female reader. fluff, suggestive at the end. reader gets called ‘girl, doll (face)’
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“you should smile some more,” you comment unexpectedly as the television runs in the background. toji raises an eyebrow, amused yet curious at the way you interrupted the peaceful atmosphere.
your sluggish lover looks down at you as you sit up on his lap. his arms loosen up around your waist, though his manly hands don’t leave their favorite spot—your ass. toji gives it a squeeze, huffing at the way you’re blocking his sight with your head, “what ‘re ya on, girl?”
he figures it’s just you trying to strike up a silly little conversation again, for the sake of entertainment. he tilts his head to the side so he could continue watching the show playing on the big screen.
your hands come to cup his face. your palms are actively being prickled by his stubble, the man not having bothered to shave this morning. not that you’re complaining. you love it when toji leaves that stubble on his face. it gives him a more manly look.
“smileeeee,” you exclaim and use both your index fingers to turn the corners of his mouth upwards. his lips are morphed into an awkward, forced smile that makes you frown.
you secretly hoped that toji would go along with your request, but he doesn’t. that same expressionless face stares right back at you. his ‘smile’ instantly disappears the moment you drop your hands to your sides.
the black-haired man runs his fingers up your waist. and arms. he eventually pinches your cheeks for a second, properly positioning your body so he could watch the television in peace. toji places his chin on your shoulder, half lidded eyes lazily following the people on screen.
“i wanna see you smile again, c’mon,” you whine and try to push toji’s head back, but he stubbornly refuses. he easily overpowers you and pins your wrists down against your sides, nearly crushing you in a ‘hug’.
he takes a deep breath and sniffs your perfume. he places a quick kiss on your throat, thinking it’d pacify you for now.
“i would if y’ could make me laugh, doll,” toji answers in a gruff voice. he falls silent again as he’s too focused on the show playing.
you frown at his comment and can’t help but feel slightly offended. you roll your eyes and push back from toji’s tight embrace, if that’s what you can even call it. you pout and cross your arms over your chest. you stare at him, his green eyes glancing back at you for a second.
seeing you get all sulky because of what’s supposed to have been a lighthearted comment, is adorable. though toji doesn’t say that stuff out loud.
“you’re saying i’m not funny?” you ask. it’s more of a rhetorical question. your partner shrugs and yawns, one hand of his sneakily slipping under your shirt. his meaty fingers glide up to your bra, tracing the outline.
it’s another action of his in attempt to distract your mind from this entire conversation. however, it fails as you swat his hand away. toji clicks his tongue and gently swats you back— resulting into a mini fight between the two of you.
your slaps against his biceps may seem hard to you, but to the bulky man they’re child’s play. it feels like nothing, while you’re trying your best to stand up for yourself. toji’s revenge smacks are light taps against your bum and hands.
he’s clearly not putting in any effort unlike you.
“if that’s how you wanna take it, then yeah, y’ ain’t funny,” toji adds fuel to the fire, amused by how upset you’re getting. he doesn’t mean anything he’s saying; he’s simply interested in your adorable reactions. you look cute—thinking you’re doing something to him while you slap his bicep as response to his sneaky remarks.
you huff and roll your eyes. the little unserious tussle between toji and you continues. “bastard,” you answer and stick your tongue out to him. your lover lets out a puff of air through his nose at your weak attempt of insulting him.
he indulges you again.
“what’ddya say there?” toji questions in a low tone. he easily grips your wrists and flips you over until your back hits the soft sofa. your hands are gathered above your head and his face is close to yours.
that doesn’t stop you from being bratty, however, no matter how intimating toji tries to act. his black bangs brush against your forehead due to the proximity between you both.
“bastaaaaaard, you’re an asshole,” you shamelessly continue, your voice echoing in his ear. the black-haired man stares at you with a blank stare for a couple seconds, letting you blow off some steam.
you don’t know how cute you are right now to him. toji could just eat you up right then and there. having his girl try to act fierce around him is such an endearing sight.
without knowing it, toji’s scarred lips curl up, a faint smile appearing on his face. he doesn’t bother moving or setting your hands free.
“heh, right—i am, aye?” your lover nods and places a chaste kiss against your jawline, biting that same place not a second later. he lifts his head up and stares down at you with that same subtle smile.
you’re a bit shocked by the fact that he actually smiled. you love seeing toji show hints of happiness, which he rarely does. but when he smiles, you know it’s going to be a beautiful sight.
and it sure is now.
you’re too caught up staring at his handsome face to realise that that cherished smile has turned into a teasing grin. toji’s free hand slides up to grab your bottom lip, pulling back and letting go to watch it bounce back in place. his warm breath gently hits your cheek and you feel a shiver run down your spine;
“y’know if y’ want to, i can show ya how much of an asshole i really can be, doll face.”
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sailorsoons · 2 months ago
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Break (h.js)
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PAIRING: Witch!Joshua x Cursed!Reader
SUMMARY: You’ve suffered your entire life after a single magical accident when you were thirteen. Joshua has been your biggest comfort and anchor, but he also becomes your deepest regret. 
WC: 18,176
AU: Magic/Witches, Modern Fantasy
GENRE: Friends to Lovers, Doomed Lovers, Heavy Angst, Smut
RATING: 18+ Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging in and reading this content. It contains explicit content and any minors discovered reading or engaging with this work will be blocked immediately.
WARNINGS: Death and implied accidental murder of a sibling, childhood trauma, creepy vibes, heavy angst, a lot of internal monologue featuring angst, physical and verbal abuse from members of the town toward reader, Joshua and other members sometimes try to solve things on behalf of reader and she finds it frustrating (this is discussed), explicit sexual content including vaginal fingering, nipple play, oral (m. receiving), unprotected sex, not explicit dom/sub dynamics at all but Joshua is definitely in charge, subspace/blacking out post sex, heavy angst ending - reader and Joshua are some vengeful bitches - I would say this is probably an unhappy ending in a sense of the problem isn’t resolved (that we know of) and the ending is a bit ambiguous. 
A/N: This was a fic I originally had on my BTS blog (of the same name), but I have edited for Joshua because idk he just fit the vibes. I assure you, I did more than just flip names in this. I sat down and edited this quite a bit - you’ll be able to tell the parts that are like.. My old style of writing vs. where you see new stuff because my tone/cadencs are totally different, but hopefully it works :) 
MASTERLIST | ASK | PERMANENT TAG LIST | ▷NOW PLAYING: HAUNTING BY HALSEY
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JOSHUA IS GOOD AT HOLDING GRUDGES. Even as a child, his mother always said he had a tough time letting things go. He never knew how right she would be. His mother’s words are all he can think about as he storms through the dark of the forest, shadows whispering about him as he looks for the lone hut in the very dark of the woods. 
Little hut, little hut
Hidden in the wood
Little hut, little hut
Up to no good
If his parents could see him now, he knows they would be broken. Tear-streaked and shaking, a lost boy alone in the woods and drowning in anger so hot that the ground scorches beneath his feet. Looking for a salve. Looking for vengeance. 
Little hut, little hut
Alone in the gloom
Little hut, little hut
Silent as a tomb
Blood witches are dangerous. Joshua knows this, everyone knows this. A blood witch is the reason why his parents are dead and he is storming through the darkness in the throes of madness. But Joshua is only thirteen and full of pain and desperation, vowing to never let something happen like this again. If he has to use a devil to defeat a devil, he will. 
Little hut, little hut
Across the dark stream
Little hut, little hut
Wait for the scream
A dark stream wends its way through the trees. Joshua gets a running start and jumps across the whispering waters. When he lands on the other side, he waits. It took a lot of searching to find someone to tell him how to find the witch in the woods. No one comes here, especially not in the dead of night on Beltane. 
They say only evil comes from the little hut in the woods. Joshua knows now that it isn’t true. Evil comes from anywhere and everywhere, even from the people that one least expects. Evil killed his parents. Evil is why he is alone, crying on the edge of the stream, waiting for the sound of a banshee's call. 
He hears it then. A one-note wail, thin and high-pitched. His blood goes cold and the fight in him nearly goes out at the sound. His heart begins to pound so loud that it’s all he can hear, the thundering beat of panic and terror as he realizes what he’s about to do. 
“Little hut, little hut,” a voice that he cannot see calls to him. There is no hut that Joshua can see. Only omnipresent darkness, cloying the air in front of him. A tingle skitters over his arms and he becomes acutely aware of another presence there with him in the dark. “I call to thee. Little hut, little hut, come to me.” 
Joshua blinks rapidly a few times and sees the outline of a hut in front of him. It has a blurry shape like it’s really the idea of a house. It’s so shadowed and opaque that he’s not entirely sure if it’s really there. He walks toward it anyway, one foot in front of the other, looking at the hut. 
If a home could be a phantom, he thinks this is what the hut is. There is a vibrational pull here, a dull buzz in his veins as he gets closer and closer to where the blood witch lives. His stomach turns and his instincts beg him to leave. There is evil in this place. He knows it. Can feel its oily presence like a poisonous slick in his veins. 
A door - or rather what he imagines is a door shape - stands open in the hut. Inside is eternal darkness like Joshua has never seen before. The buzzing in his veins has become stronger, an itch he can’t scratch. A ringing in his ears. 
Sometimes to beat evil, you must use evil. So Joshua steps into the house despite all the reasons he should turn around and run. Because he is alone, he is in pain, and he needs some sort of penance. Justice. 
So he asks the blood witch for a favor. 
Little hut, little hut
Hear my strife
Little hut, little hut
Ruin this life 
-
When the rock hits you right at the top of your spine, you know it isn’t an accident. All the same, you spin on your heel and look at the edge of the lake where the kids are skipping stones. They squeal and look away from you, huddled together as they giggle and look over their shoulders with frantic and excited faces. 
You clench your fists and keep going. What can you do to a group of kids? Tossing children into the lake while you’re an adult seems unfair, though it certainly crosses your mind. It isn’t necessarily their fault that they were taught to have such hate in their hearts at a young age, after all. 
So, you keep going, grinding your teeth as you march up the slope toward the main pathway that cuts through the park, gravel crunching beneath your feet as you quicken your strides to put distance between you and the cackling children. You’re not positive they won’t throw another rock at you, and you think that it might send you over the edge.
Early preparation for the Beltane festival is in full swing all over the park. There are trucks unloading carts and piecing together stalls, vendors and contractors with clipboards walking through spray painted grass with city officials, and a giant maypole waiting to be constructed. 
Living in a town of witchy folk can be fun, you suppose. The only downside is that most of the witches in your town despise you and think you’re an abhorrent blight to the earth. If killing and sacrifices hadn’t been outdated and frowned upon, you’re sure they would have stuck you to an altar as a child the first time you showed signs of being a leech. 
Leech. 
It’s an unkind thing to call witches who siphon magic. It isn’t something you can control - it isn’t even something you were born with. Most witches who siphon magic are born that way. A sort of magical defect in the way they interact naturally with the world. 
Most think of siphoners as a plague to the witch community. Thieves and monsters who can only feed on magic to make magic, a perversion of the natural balance of things. The way you look at it, witches who siphoned aren’t really any different from the natural order of the world. All living things need an energy source: food for animals, sun for plants, bacteria for amoebas. It isn’t different, really. 
Perhaps you would not be so kind to leeches, though, had you not began your existence as a siphoner at thirteen years old. 
It isn’t a night that you enjoy remembering, but it is certainly a night you can’t seem to forget. One moment you could command your magic like most other witches. Most, because you were a blood witch with raw talent and a powerful relationship with the earth’s energy. 
Blood witches were as revered as they were feared, witches who needed no spells. Who could use the magic within them instead of their connection with the earth to conjure. To blood witches, all other witches were leeches, really. You didn’t tell that to your coven, though you thought about the irony often. 
Your blood magic had vanished, though. It happened while you lay asleep in your bed, pressed up against your twin sister. Twins were a special thing in covens, a rarity in the magical order of the world that was seen as a good omen. There was a connection you shared with her deeper than the connection to your own magic, a bond that rooted the two of you together. That made you seek one another out for comfort. 
It had been storming that night and you had sought out the warmth of her bed and the vanilla sugar of her hair to soothe your nerves. You didn’t like storms and thunder very much, but she was wide awake in her bed, watching out the window as purple lighting cracked across the sky and thunder shook the house. 
You’d slipped into her bed without a word and she stood guardian over you, hand tucked in yours as she watched the sky light up. You remember her laying down next to you after the storm passed. The warmth of her breath on your cheek as she fell asleep. The hum between the two of you, soul recognizing soul.
She’d been dead by morning, magic siphoned and drained dry in the middle of the night. 
The memory of it is metallic in your mouth. You head toward your apartment, hands tucked into the pockets of your jeans, head down. Beltane always makes you think of your sister. Makes you think of the morning you woke up on your thirteenth Beltane to find her cold and dead, magical signature gone. Severed. Torn away from you. 
Losing your ability to generate magic was only second to losing your sister. You still feel adrift fifteen years later. Moving through the world with a piece of you missing. Two pieces of you, if you count the fact that you can feel the magic around you but not reach for it. You never reach for it, though you suspect that no one believes you.
Except maybe Joshua. But even he doesn’t know the story of how you became what you are. All he knows is that you can’t create your own magic, and yet he’s never shamed you for it. Never turned his back on you, or berated you or bullied you. 
That sort of kindness is a rarity in your world.
Your small town is easy to navigate. There’s not much that happens that doesn’t immediately become the knowledge of all citizens, and there’s not really a way to get lost unless you’re a tourist coming to visit the country's spookiest and most magical town. The locals are pretty firm believers in magic, but the out of towners don’t really believe. They just want camp and kitsch. 
It’s busy season, the streets filled with people buying decorations to celebrate Beltane, restaurants full of tourists trying out local fare between going shop to shop. The festivals always draw a big crowd to your corner of the world, making it easier for you to blend in with all the rest of them. It almost makes you feel normal when someone doesn’t recognize you and immediately scowls. Sometimes you can even get away with eating at places that wouldn’t normally serve you, the workers too busy to really look at your face and see you. 
A few people have taken pity on you outside of Joshua. Seungcheol and Jeonghan would never turn you away, always welcoming you with open arms, a warm cup of tea and free books for as long as you like at their bookstore. You’re not technically allowed in the metaphysical store on Fourth, but as long as Jihoon is working, you can walk through the rows and rows of crystals, grimoires, spices and charms. Joshua is where you’re really home, though, his bakery a place of safety and fresh-smelling sugar cookies. 
It’s where you go now, sticking to the shop windows and away from the tourists flowing all over Main Street like ants. There’s a line stretched out the door when you get to Wicked Sweet Bakery, and Chan looks helpless behind the counter as he nods while taking an order, wide-eyed and terrified. 
Joshua is at the delivery counter, flour staining his cheeks and brows as he nods politely and hands a box of cupcakes over to his customer. As though he can sense you, he lifts his head and swivels, eyes scanning until they land on you, immediately shining. Your stomach leaps the way it often does around him, especially when he breaks out into a beautiful smile and jerks his thumb at an apron.
You roll your eyes. You’re not technically an employee at the bakery, but you’re the next best thing, grabbing an apron from the rack to attempt to help the stressed out witches behind the counter. 
“Can you take over the order counter?” he asks, the blush on his face the only sign that he’s getting a little frazzled. You nod and he winks at you, leaning over to press a quick, chaste kiss on your cheek. “You’re an angel.”
“Mhmm,” is the only response you manage before he’s leaning over Chan’s shoulder to correct something on the register.  
There’s a smooth cadence to helping around the store. You fall into a pattern, calling out order numbers and passing over boxes of charmed sweets. The customers don’t know they’re charmed - at least not the people outside the magical community. They come here for the famous rose scones that inspire love and the lemon tarts that generate good luck, but they don’t realize how much of himself Joshua really pours into these sweets, magic and all. 
Being here is nice. Chan grins when he sees you behind the counter, happy for the help. He still gets overwhelmed behind the till, and he’s more than happy to step back and chew his lip nervously when he processes a discount wrong. You’re up next to him before he can ask for help, typing on the screen while gently walking him through it again.
Chan is a good kid, an elemental witch who is prone to cause rainstorms when he gets stressed. For now, he is a bottle of sunshine, thanking you shyly and letting you know that he saved you a bag of butterscotch cookies in the back. 
“I put in a little extra sunshine,” he promises. By that, you know that he means magic. To give you. You open your mouth to scold him but he shakes his head furiously. “I wanted to do it. You can’t yell at me. I’m your favorite.”
That gets you. It’s hard to be mad at him, especially when anger is likely to set him off into a rainstorm. Chan gives you a wicked smile, his little ego sharp and wicked under his sweet surface. You let him off with an eye roll and a squeeze of his wrist, making him beam. 
This is what keeps you going most days. The unfettered kindness that Joshua and his friends show you. None of them are locals to town, but they had formed their own coven a little at a time, a circle under the broad umbrella of the town's overall witch population.
Covens are difficult. You’re both in and not in Joshua’s coven, an unofficial member by friendship. But you don’t practice anymore - won’t let yourself - so you’re on the outside looking in most weekends and during spiritual times of the year. 
But by witch standard, you are a part of the covenstead of the town, the larger collective of witches who are loyal and responsible for one another, all answering to the high priestess. 
When the rush of customers and shouting orders over the glass dies down, you lean against the counter and reach a hand out just as the door to the back swings open. Joshua has a glass bottle of soda ready for you, and he blinks in surprise when he sees your hand ready for it. You’re a little surprised as well. 
“It’s freaky when the two of you do that,” Chan comments, eyes bouncing between you and Joshua as the older hands you the bottle. “You’re always so in-tune.”
“She’s a witch,” Joshua snorts, leaning against the glass case of mostly empty dishes as he takes a swig of his own. “Divination and all that is sort of what we do.” 
“Yeah, but it only happens with you.”
You don’t meet Joshua’s eyes as you swig from the bottle, the carbonation fizzing on your tongue. “I know you’re jealous, Chan,” is Joshua’s answer. Always deflecting. You're grateful for the way he rolls with the punches, easily accepting the way others talk about you two as an item so you don’t have to. “Are you hoping those butterscotch cookies win her over?”
Thunder cracks in the sky as Chan goes red in the voice, launching into an argument with Joshua who starts laughing like a maniac.  
When it’s time to close down the shop, you help the two of them out. Joshua goes to the back to begin batching things anew: fondant, bread, frosting - anything that he can let sit overnight or prep while the lights are out and he’s gone home. You focus on cleaning with Chan, letting him put on a pop playlist while he sings along, siren voice lulling you into a steady rhythm. 
Part of you wants to ask what they’re doing for Beltane. Celebrating the holidays used to be your favorite, threading flowers through your hair, blessing your hearth and home, weaving new spells of prosperity and happiness alongside your sister. Now you don’t participate in any of the rituals with the others. 
Most of the time, you celebrate alone in your room. Mark the points of the elements and the compass on your bedroom floor alone. Sit in front of a single candle, watching the flame flicker as you draw your circle of salt, murmuring blessings. It isn’t a powerful place of practice and you have no alter to communicate through, but it's something. It’s yours. 
Instead of asking, you follow Joshua and Chan out of the door on the promise of dinner. This is the one thing that does feel like a ritual you’re allowed to participate in, holding chapel at Joshua’s dining room table and elbowing with Soonyoung or Mingyu for scraps of food piled high in the center of the table. 
Evening sky stretches overhead as you walk between Joshua and Chan. You cast your eyes upward, watching the gray clouds float by. Joshua throws an arm around you, pulling you in close and squeezing you to his side. He smells like vanilla and sweet orange from making his tangerina vanilla cakes for Seungkwan. You breathe in his scent, letting it wash through you like a balm. 
His arm presses a little too hard on the bruise where the rock from earlier nailed you, and you hiss, reaching behind your head automatically to adjust his hold on you. 
“What?” he asks, lifting his arm and slowing his gait. Joshua’s face is picture-perfect concern, mouth tilted downward, a crease in his brows. Before you can explain, his hands are pulling at the collar of your shirt. “You’ve got a welt here, what the hell is that?”
You smack at his hands and step away from him, pulling his warm fingers from your shirt. “It’s nothing.”
“Whenever you say ‘it’s nothing’ it's always something. Why do you have a lump on the top of your spine?”
Dancing away from him, you grab Chan who grunts, mouth full of corn chips as you shove him between you and Joshua. More unhappy noises come from the youngest as Joshua grabs for you but you squeak and use Chan’s broad body to block him again. 
“Yah!” Joshua yells, reaching both arms around either side of Chan to grab you. He manages to get one of your arms, pulling you toward him - and by default, Chan - and keeps a firm grip while you swat and fight back. 
“Aish!” Chan howls between the two of you, adding to the chaos as he shoves both of you away from him. “Stop using me as a battering ram! I’m going to drop my chips! Guys!” 
“Tell me why you have a wound!”
“It isn’t a wound!”
“It’s a type of wound!”
“Ugh let my arm go, hulk! What are you doing at the gym? Juicing? Jesus Christ!”
“Stop hissing at me like a rat! Are you trying to bite me?”
Chan drops his bag of chips and lets out a long, forlorn wail. “My chiiiiiiiiips!” 
After a struggle, you manage to shake Joshua off of you, taking a few steps back as you huff angrily, fists at your side. Joshua sidesteps Chan who is pouting and looking at the ground, blonde bangs falling in his eyes as he stares at the spilled corn chips. Joshua makes it worse by stepping on them with a crunch, earning a shriek from Chan that goes ignored.
“Did someone hurt you?”
A rumble rolls through the sky from up above. You cast your gaze upward, looking at the clouds that are a little more swollen than they were a few minutes ago. You can sense the static in the air, a promise of lightning if you don’t diffuse Joshua’s anger quickly. 
Similar to Chan, Joshua is sensitive to the elements. Where Chan has an affinity for the sky and the rain, Joshua has a lot more skill with fire. Still, Joshua is a powerful witch and his rage on more than one occasion has disturbed the sky and the lake in the middle of town. 
It’s partly the reason he works so hard on never getting angry. 
“It’s nothing, Joshua,” you answer softly, eyes pleading. You desperately want him to drop it. Part of you is honored that he cares, but the other half of you can’t bear the way he looks at you. “Please drop it.”
“Someone hurt you. Again.”
Thunder echoes across the sky. Chan looks upward. “That isn’t me, even though I am mad about my chips. And about being oggled at by Mrs. Hansen again, she really wants my goodies.”
“Shua, it isn’t a big deal. Please.” You glance upward, thunder rolling again. “You’re going to make it rain.”
“I’ll make it do more than rain when I find out who did it.”
“They were just kids, Shua. You can’t-”
He swears loudly and there’s a flash of lightning above your head. It makes you think of that night with your sister, laying in bed to let the storm pass. You clap your hands over your ears and squeeze your eyes shut, automatically crouching to make yourself small. 
Behind your shut eyes, you try not to let the memories come. Try not to imagine the vanilla scent of her hair, warm hands on your skin turned cold the next morning. You block out the screams, the way your mother shoved you away and your father yelled and yelled and yelled and-
Above, the thunder stops. Rain doesn’t fall, and the air pressure returns to normal. Shivering, you crack an eye open to look at Joshua, terrified at what you might find. His anger is so rare, but every time you witness it, it’s like watching a sudden storm bloom on the horizon, all terrible wind and teeth, but beautiful in its power. 
Chan is murmuring in Joshua’s ear now, voice hushed and urgent. Joshua’s eyes become unfocused as he nods, Chan’s hands grasping the older’s biceps firmly. When Joshua’s eyes find yours over Chan’s shoulder, they’re fathomless. Endless pools of warm brown, and something else that you can’t decipher as he murmurs something back to Chan, who steps away.
Licking his lips, Joshua offers you a hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you. I’m sorry.” 
You swallow thickly. Reach out a tentative hand. “It’s okay.”
“You know I would never hurt you?”
Of course you know that. You aren’t afraid of Joshua or the power he holds. You aren’t afraid of what he can do. You are afraid of the memories that nip at your heels like a pack of jackals. You are afraid that one day he’ll decide you’re not enough. You are afraid of the way that it makes you feel when he’s this close, his voice pitched low, soft eyes only for you. 
“I know that,” you murmur, letting him pull you toward him. “It’s just the thunder, that's all.”
His smile is soft. “I know, I’m sorry.” He squeezes your hand. It’s a perfect fit, your palm in his. His skin buzzes with magic. You pull your hand from his quickly, not trusting yourself to touch him. You’ll never make that mistake again - especially with him. “Let’s go home, yeah?”
-
Home isn’t the small apartment on the west side of town that you keep by yourself. Home is Joshua’s two-story house in the suburbs made of brick and mortar. It’s the crowded dining room packed tight with chairs pulled close to the wooden table and a chandelier full of burner candles and incense. It’s Joshua’s cat familiar running yowling down the corridor as Jihoon’s maine coon chases it, hissing. 
Home is the handful of witches who don’t care that you can’t generate your own magic, all of them laughing and pushing empty plates toward the middle of the table where Seungcheol collects them with a snap of his fingers, the cutlery lifting and stacking neatly with the soft click of ceramic. 
Bloated and overly-satiated, you lean back in your chair, sighing heavily. Jihoon is next to you, quiet and staring off into space the way that he often does. Next to him, Jeonghan and Seungcheol have their heads bowed together whispering, a blush flushing across Seungcheol’s wine-glazed expression and tops of his ears. 
Seungcheol and Jeonghan strike something in you. A longing that tugs at your heart strings, drawing your gaze to the man sitting on the other side of you. Joshua is leaning back in his chair, arm stretched over the back of your seat as he yawns mid-conversation with Junhui. 
Joshua is barely touching you, but just the warmth of his arm is enough to make you dizzy. It’s barely there, just against the top of your back. You lean into him a little, resting your head on top of his arm. He maneuvers his hand to scratch the top of your head lightly. It feels so nice that your eyes flutter shut, letting him play with your hair as the noise in the room drifts to a dull buzz. 
In another life, you think that this touch could be something more. Sometimes, you let yourself wonder if it is. Let yourself pretend that maybe Joshua’s lingering gaze and hand is more than the platonic affection he has for you. 
It’s a silly dream. 
When the dishes are washed and the others have said their goodbyes, it’s just you and Joshua leaning against the counter in the kitchen. He has a glass of wine, sipping it thoughtfully as you put the cork back in the wine bottle. When you meet his gaze, you see something there. Hesitance. Anxiety. 
Joshua chews on his lips and swishes the wine in his glass. The red liquid arches elegantly along the sides of the glass, slowly dripping back down to pool in his cup. You remember once at a winery you could measure the legs or something when swishing wine in a glass. Joshua had taken you to that winery because he wanted to research wine making in general, considering creating and packing his own. He eventually tossed the idea out, wanting to focus on expanding his sweets menu instead. 
“What’s wrong?” you ask, taking a sip out of your own cup. It’s a strong mulled wine with notes of cherry, you think. “You look nervous.”
“I wanted to talk to you about something.” 
Your heart beats hard once. Then twice. Speeds up. Instead of answering right away, you take another sip, mind running through all of the things you think he might say. Maybe this is it, he’s going to tell you that you can’t come around as much. That though you’re his best friend, you have to stay away from his coven. 
Instead, Joshua says, “You know I’ve looked into your situation.” You wince when he says it but he pushes forward, leaning off the counter as he grows eager. “You said you weren’t always a siphon, that you could control your own magic as a child. I’ve been researching similar cases, and there is a lot of evidence that supports that it might be a magical block.”
“Joshua.”
“Look, there’s nothing wrong with you. Never has been. There is nothing to fix. But I know you don’t share that same opinion, and I know that if you could change things, you would.” His jaw flexes. “And I care about your happiness. I just… Jihoon and I have been reading up on rituals to release magical blocks, and with Beltane in a few days, we thought…”
Warmth bubbles in your chest. You know how much this means to him, trying to help you. To free you from the burden that you carry with you wherever you go. This is not the first time he has brought up trying to figure out your ailment. Your situation. And though you’re glad he cares about you enough to try, there is something humiliating about it. 
“You don’t have to decide tonight,” Joshua murmurs. You look up at him and his gaze is soft. Vulnerable. “But if you want us to try, we discussed it. And our circle is strong enough to try it on Beltane.”
Licking your lips, you nod once. “I’ll think about it. Thanks for thinking of me.”
“I’m always thinking of you.” You give him a look and he smiles, a little sad. “What? I am.” 
“Stop trying to be charming. I’ll only say yes if I want to.”
“I have no doubt about that. However, it is impossible for me to stop my charm. It is a natural gift. I am, afterall, a gentleman.”
You roll your eyes. “A gentleman who lacks humility.”
“Ah, but my hubris seems so small whenever Seungcheol is around.” 
You don’t push the argument. Joshua grins again before opening a drawer in his kitchen, pulling out a small, cloth bag. There’s a green ribbon tying the top of it shut, and you smell the herbs inside of it immediately: cedar, bay leaves, mugwort. 
Joshua holds the bag out to you and you frown, taking it. It’s weighted with crystals. You squeeze the bag a little, feeling the crunch of crystal fragments and herbs. There is a vibration that travels from your fingers up your arms and you feel a sense of solid warmth.
“A protection bag,” you deadpan. “Really?”
“Hmm?”
“I don’t need this.”
“The welt on your neck says otherwise.”
“Please stop!” Your voice is loud in the empty kitchen. He pulls up short, leaning against the counter and watching you with wide eyes, lips parted slightly. You sigh deeply and close your eyes for a moment, calming yourself before you open them and say, “I don’t mean to yell, it’s just - it’s hard when I feel like all of you coddle me. It’s humiliating.” 
“It wasn’t my intention. I’d never want to make you feel that way.”
“I know.”
You do know. The intentions are good, but you can’t help the raw, venomous edge of frustration. It makes you feel less than, this constant need to help you. To do things for you. 
“I am a fully functioning adult who is capable of taking care of myself, despite being a thorn in the covenstead’s side.”
“You know that isn’t how we think of you.”
You give a frustrated noise. “Then please. Let me ask for help when I need it, and not just when you feel the desire to give it to me.” 
Joshua is quick to catch the protection bag when you toss it back to him. He nods silently, eyes fixated on the floor. It feels like a hot stone has been dropped in your stomach, burning and weighing you down. How quickly a good dinner has turned sour, how the light air between the two of you has gone cold. 
“Thank you for dinner. And for looking into a way out of this,” you gesture wildly to yourself. He nods, but there’s no mirth in his face. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Yeah of course. Let me know about… you know.” 
“Yeah. Yeah.”
That night, you have trouble sleeping, just like that night when you were thirteen years old. 
-
The back door to Shadow Metaphysical opens, creaking as Jihoon sticks his head out of his office. His long hair is styled behind his ears and he’s in a soft-looking black sweater and jeans. He gives a visible sigh of relief when he sees it’s you and not one of his shithead coven mates coming to bother him for free stuff.
“Hey,” he greets, exiting the office. His familiar, Nami, shoots between his legs and toward the front of the store. 
Jihoon leads you through the door to the main storefront. It’s closed for the evening and he has receipts and cash laid out on the counter as he balances his drawer for the day. Rows and rows of dark shelving littered with candles and wax light the way here. There’s no traditional lighting, floating candles up in the ceiling and random balls of light appearing every once in a while.
When you asked Jihoon how the non-magical customers didn’t think the magic was real, he simply said, That Harry Potter lady did me a solid. They all think it’s some sort of intricate system. 
Shadow Metaphysical is one of your favorite places. It smells different each time you go in, the magic and the herbs and the spells inside of its four walls shifting with the energy of its employees and customers at all times. Today, it smells like night rain and crackling lightning. 
Wordlessly, Jihoon gestures at the shelving, signaling to do whatever you need. He busies himself with going back to counting bills, head down and trusting you not to steal anything like everyone else in his coven. Not that he would care, as he’s always emphasized he has no problem not taking your money.
Still, you always pay him, especially since he lets you in after hours where no one can yell at you for being inside. The covenstead has barred magical stores from siphoners, convinced that the moment they cross the threshold, they’ll consume the entire store like gluttonous demons.
It isn’t true. Well. Not really, anyway. You feel the magic in the store throbbing like a wound in your side, begging you to reach out and touch it, to pull it in, to use, to burn it. You ignore it. You’re not here to eat magic like a parasite. 
As you pass rows and rows of books on rituals, you think about Joshua’s offer to help you figure out your block. It wouldn’t be the first time you tried and failed to figure out what happened. With magic, the point of origin is always the key to any spell. The how and the where of your condition are important elements to figuring out the solution, but no one really knows the how and the where. 
Your friends don’t have full clarity on that night. You’ve never told them in explicit detail of how you woke up, full of your sister’s magic. You’re sure they know, though. Everyone has whispered about the way you killed your sister in her sleep. A little murderer. You’d only escaped persecution for being a child, and because up until that fateful night, you’d never been a siphoner. 
It helped that your family had been respected. 
You pass a grimoire. The runes on it shine gold when you pause, winking at you, begging you to touch it. You feel the whisper of the spells of dozens of witches inside of it, their phantom fingers brushing down your arms. Your spine. They call to you, sing to you, press kisses that promise power on your brow, their fingers turning to claws and-
“Stop,” you growl out loud. The grimoire stops calling to you immediately, silenced by the violence in your voice. 
Shaking off the encounter, you grab what you need from the shelves, ignoring the way other magical objects feel like they're looking at you, wanting to be picked up, to be touched, to be used. You shove away all acknowledgement of them, arms full of materials. 
At the register, Jihoon gives you a wary look as you set things down on the counter. He takes his time scanning them, glancing at you occasionally. You can sense he wants to ask a question, dark eyes lingering a few times. That’s the thing about Jihoon, though. He’ll never ask, he’ll just wait until you give up.
Which you do, sighing and saying, “Ask.”
His lips twitch as he bags a few jars of thorns. “How often do the books in here talk to you?” You level a stare at him and he rolls his eyes. “I can hear you. I just pretend not to be nice. Plus, I have a magical tie to this shop, I can feel the energy shift. Everytime you’re here, it’s like suddenly the entire store has it’s eyes on you.”
“Great,” you growl. “Yes, it happens often. I don’t know if it’s a siphoner thing or a me thing. Most magic begs me to use it, but magical objects are worse. They’re borderline sentient.” You chew your lip and rub your sweaty palms on your jeans. “It’s worse around the sabbat holidays.”
“Stronger magic.”
“Yeah.”
“Did Joshua explain what ritual we talked about?” You shake your head. He pushes over a paper bag filled with all your things and you hand over your card. He doesn’t take it until you give him a pointed stare. Plucking it from your fingers, he sighs and says, “Two smaller rituals wrapped into one. Seungcheol found a really old binding ritual that was used to form a bridge between multiple rituals.”
“A chain spell,” you offer. “Impressive. I guess that would be used for improving upon old rituals?”
“Yeah, exactly that. Joshua had been doing some research on magical blocks, and found one that determines whether the point of origin is internal or external.” 
“External?” He nods. “Like a curse?”
“Yes. Any reason anyone would want to curse a thirteen-year-old?” 
Jihoon phrases it like a joke and chuckles. But you don’t laugh, stilling as you think about his question. Your immediate answer is no, at thirteen there was certainly nothing you could have done to be cursed. But you think about your parents, thinking about the fear revolving around their gifts for blood magic, think about the way they were always regarded with equal parts fear and reverence as coven leaders.
Curses aren’t common. It would take a coven of extremely skilled witches to curse someone, but it could take a single very skilled blood witch to perform one. Hexes aren’t long-term and are far more manageable, but you think about the way your power vanished, the way you bled your sister dry. 
The misery you’ve faced since, the loss of your parents shortly after, the hatred from the covenstead. 
“Holy shit, you don’t think you’re cursed, do you?” Jihoon’s question brings you out of your daze. All of the amusement has been wiped clean from his expression, eyes deadly serious. “Who would curse a child? And how? A hex is easy enough to manage, but a full on curse?”
“People were really afraid of my parents,” you murmur. “My mom used to lead the covenstead here, you know?” That surprises him and you nod, chewing on the inside of your cheek. “I forget you’re not from here, but yeah. My family led the covenstead until… well. All that happened.”
“I never knew that. No one talks about it.”
There is a question there. Jihoon won’t say it outright, but you sense the curiosity nonetheless. You feel your throat constrict a little as you murmur, “My parents killed themselves when my sister died. No one talks about it because… wel, would you?”
“No.”
“Exactly.”
“Your parents have any enemies prior to that?”
“There was…” You think back to the time when you were thirteen. Those days are painted so painfully when you think about them that it is hard to remember anything else. “My parents were involved in the Trials that were going on at that time. Hunting Dissenters.”
Jihoon’s face darkens. “I see.”
“They had a lot of enemies. So maybe… I don’t know.”
For a few moments, Jihoon doesn’t say anything. He busies himself with packing away the rest of the till and waving his hand, dousing all the lights in the store with ease. There’s a little pang as he does it, such simple magic that costs him nothing. That you have no access to.
“Well,” Jihoon sighs, a little awkwardly. “Think about it. If - and it’s unlikely - that someone cursed you, you’ll know if we go through with the ritual.” He pauses and levels you with a look. “It is dangerous though. So consider the risk before you agree, hmm?”
You nod and thank him. He leads you out of the store and gives you an awkward smile goodbye. Never affectionate, but always polite and warm nonetheless. 
Sunset-purple skies stretch above you. It smells like fresh rain and earth outside. Town is quieter now that the evening crowd has finished dinner and gone home or back to their accommodations for the evening. You pass places with patio seating and small diners tucked between stores, wary eyes of the workers following you as you walk down the sidewalk. 
No one says good evening. Some don’t look at you at all. 
Curse. 
The word weighs heavy on you. You’d never considered that your condition could be from a curse before, but now that you think about it, you can’t stop the thoughts racing through your mind. 
The Trials had been a scary time for witches, Dissenters leaving covensteads to start their own, dark and forbidden spellwork becoming more and more popular among covens. Your parents - especially your mother  - had been a huge part of cleansing the covenstead from witches who practiced dark magic.
Especially the few blood witches. 
You had been a blood witch, though. Like your sister, like your mother. People had always been wary of them, which is why your mother worked so hard to get rid of the Dissenters when she was the head priestess. 
They give us a bad name, she would say darkly when you and your sister asked why she was getting rid of witches like you. Like her. In times like this, we have to work extra hard to prove we aren’t evil. 
Jihoon’s words weigh heavy on you as you sit in your apartment alone. You don’t bother to put the TV on, knowing that you won’t be able to pay attention to anything. Magic always comes at a price, and two rituals wrapped into one is going to take a toll. 
And yet, you think about getting to the bottom of this sickness, this curse. This inability to do anything but steal magic, to leech off of others. You think about how your magic used to feel, the way you could command fire with a snap of your fingers or make stars fall from your bedroom ceiling. 
An ache settles in your chest as you lay back on the couch and close your eyes, throat tight and eyes burning. You have been without magic for so long. Part of you thinks what's a little longer? But deep down, you crave it. The spark, the life, the touch of magic. 
You want to be able to enter stores without the itch underneath your skin, an addiction you can’t cure nor divulge in. You want to be able to be a part of a community again, to do rituals with Jihoon and Chan and Joshua. You want to be able to help him in his bakery, imbuing his scones and cupcakes with love and a little spark of something extra. 
Tears flow hot on your face. You know what you want, and you know that it’s going to cost you to get it. You know that to do this, you’ll have to be open and honest, because there are only two possible options for your magic block: you are cursed or you have a mental block. 
It’s hard to know if being cursed as a result of your parents’ policing is worse than potentially having an internal block, an innate refusal to do magic because of what you did. 
That night sits at the back of your mind like a stone, sinking sinking sinking. Pulling you under as you think about it in explicit detail. Maybe you simply killed your twin. A horrible accident, but perhaps it was just you. Your magic. Your fault. 
And your magic had fled because of it, a self-inflicted punishment. 
Before you’re aware of what you’re doing, you have the phone in your hand, sniffing and wiping your tears with the back of your hand. Your face feels swollen and sticky with tears and overwarm and it’s hard to get a breath as you press the phone to your ear, listening to the ringing.
Joshua picks up on the fourth ring, his voice cheery. “What, did Jihoon forget to let you in the store?”
“No.”
“I’m coming now,” Joshua says, completely forgoing humor when he hears you sniff, hears the waver in your voice. “Are you home?”
“Yeah.”
“Did anyone hurt you?”
“No,” you hiccup. “I’m just really sad and I don’t want to be alone.”
“I’ll be there in ten. Do you want to stay on the phone?” You shake your head and let out a little sob. Something about knowing he’s coming over to be with you cracks your resolve a little more. You realize he can’t see you when he prompts, “Hey, you there?”
“Sorry, no. Drive safely, please.”
“For you? Anything.”
Despite your tears, your mouth wobbles into a weak smile at that. It makes your heart squeeze just a little, underneath all the hurt. 
It doesn’t take him long to let himself in the apartment. You can sense him before he even gets to the stairs leading up to your unit, his crackling energy like a beacon to you. When he opens the door with the key you gave him, he fills the space with static, magic snapping and tinged with worry. 
Magic always belies how Joshua feels. Like now, as he rushes across the apartment, he is lightning, all energy and anxiety popping and snapping as he sits on the couch next to you, pulling you into his chest. 
Joshua is warm and smells like vanilla and sweet orange from the bakery. It’s soothing. You close your eyes and clutch the hem of his shirt, resolve cracking the rest of the way as he becomes your anchor as you drift out to sea, holding you so that you can be lost in the overwhelming feeling of loss without getting too far. 
He doesn’t tell you not to cry. He doesn’t ask what’s wrong. Joshua leans back on the couch, pulling you into his lap, folding your knees so that he can hold you. One hand rubs your back and he rests his chin on the top of your head, letting you use the crook of his neck as a place to hide - and turn into a waterfall for your tears. 
This is what you love about Joshua though. He doesn’t pry. He just lets you use him, lets you cry it out and he waits. 
When the tears begin to dry and you find it easier to breathe again, you shift away from Joshua and wipe your face. He smiles down at you, eyes glittering and expression so fond that you find yourself staring blankly into his face.
“I’m sorry,” you sniff. “And thank you for coming.”
“Anything for you.” You hate the way it makes your heart flip when he says that. You start to pull away from him to sit on the couch properly but his arms constrict you, keeping you to him. You frown but he asks, “I want to know what happened, if you’re ready to talk about it.”
Joshua is so close his breath fans your face. You look up at him. Silky, long lashes that you could individually count with your proximity, beautiful tan and smooth skin with a glow all witches have, pretty lips that are always the perfect shade of pink, curved upward in a permanent smile at the edges. 
Your heart starts to speed up and your mouth dries out with the way he looks at you, intense and searching. Suddenly you’re afraid if he looks too hard, he’ll see down to your core. 
“I- yeah. I need some water,” you croak, pulling away. He lets you go this time, unaware that what you really need is space between the two of you, a barrier so he can’t see. So he won’t know. “Turns out sobbing makes you thirsty.” 
Before you can get all the way to the kitchen, there’s a soft clink accompanied by a full glass of water on your counter. You glare at Joshua over your shoulder and he winces and shrugs in apology. 
As you gulp down mouthfuls of cool water, you wonder how to word exactly what you’re upset about. How you’re tired of existing in the world without your magic but you’re also unsure if you want to know the truth about why your magic left you. 
Joshua is iffy on the details about the night your sister died. He’s never asked you explicitly for the story before, but if you want to go through with finding out the root cause of your block, you know you’ll be exposed. To him. To all of them. To his coven.
The desire to be one of them is so strong that it makes your knees weak as you walk toward the couch. You sit abruptly on the couch arm, staring into the distance as you drink the rest of the water. You want to join them so much, to celebrate the sabbat holidays, to feel the rush of a closed circle of magic and yet…
Would they accept you if they knew you killed your sister? You’re not so sure. 
You look at Joshua. He waits patiently, watching you with soft eyes. Moonlight seeps in through the blinds behind him, wreathing him in silver light. He looks like a god, then. Of shadows, of night, of mystery. This best friend of yours who you love so much and who has loved you indiscriminately when he didn’t have to. 
“I talked to Jihoon about maybe doing the ritual,” you start slowly. Joshua nods, encouraging you. “And I think I came to the conclusion that I want to do it. I’m tired of feeling everyone’s magic pull at me, like a vice that I have to ignore every day. And I’m tired of wanting to do things I used to, to feel the world around me. But most of all, I just want to be a part of something. A part of a coven, a family.”
Understanding paints Joshua’s face. He reaches a hand out and takes yours, giving you a firm squeeze. “You know even with no magic, you’re our family, right?”
“It’s different.” He starts to protest but you shake your head. “I want to be in a coven and to feel the power of a circle. I want to celebrate and do rituals with you, I want to be a part of something magical. I can’t do that like this, not without the fear of draining everyone.”
He nods. “Of course. We’ll have you either way, you know? We’d still welcome you like this.”
“But I’d never be able to close your circle.” Joshua nods. He knows the truth of this. “But this ritual requires truth, and there’s some things about me that I’ve never talked to you about. Things about the night I… I could no longer do magic. I want you to be informed, to know what we might find if we do this.”
“Only if you want to tell me.”
“A coven and a working circle requires trust and honesty. I can never be one of you if you don’t know me completely.” 
He nods. “That is true.” 
“I’m going to tell you about the night that my sister died.” He squeezes your hand and nods, but says nothing else. “My sister and I were twins, both blood witches. Unusual enough for our parents and the covenstead to be incredibly proud of us, but not unusual enough for people to be afraid, you know?”
“Twins… That’s incredibly powerful.”
“Yeah,” you agree, throat tight. “We were really fond of the connection too, you know? It was nice to always have someone to rely on who was my perfect balance. We were never-” You take a breath. “Neither was more powerful than the other. There was never any jealousy or overpowering the other. We were always evenly matched.” 
“Whenever it would storm,” you continue. “I would go lay in her room. I hated storms but she loved them. I did this countless times up until we were thirteen. I don’t know… Shua, I don’t know what was different that night. I think back to it every single day, what did I do differently, was there an object I touched, a spell I used? And I come up with nothing. But on Beltane when we were thirteen, it was storming. We’d already finished the festival and our parents were out doing their duties and I went and I fell asleep in her room and… and I woke up…”
For a moment, you can’t get the words out. They get trapped in your throat and you stare, unseeing. You imagine the lightning against the window. The warmth of your sister's hands. The tree tap tap tapping against the window with the strength of the wind.
“I drained her in the middle of the night,” you whisper. It’s out now and you can’t stop, can’t look at Joshua’s face to see his reaction. “I went to sleep as normal and when I woke up, she was freezing and lifeless and I felt more powerful than I ever had before. Like I was this magical battery charged up and sparking.” 
For a moment, you pause and look at Joshua. You expect to see horror or disgust or a variety of negative emotions, but he’s still watching you. Fond. Waiting. No judgment. When he sees you staring, he gives you a tiny smile and a squeeze of your hand. 
“I’m still listening.” 
“Aren’t you…” You trail off and shake your head. “I killed my sister. Are you not horrified?”
He frowns then. “You didn’t kill your sister.”
“Yes I did.”
“You weren’t born a siphoner, how could you possibly predict that would ever happen? You didn’t get in that bed with her and then leech her magic, no matter how much it must feel that way. It wasn’t your fault, though I know hearing me say that doesn’t make it feel any less true in here.” He reaches forward and taps your heart lightly. “There is nothing I can say to ease the pain and guilt of that, but what you’re describing to me isn’t the tale of a murderer. It’s the story of someone who had a freak accident, which is more common among the magical community than one might think.”
“I don’t know what happened,” you admit, a tear escaping your eye. Before you can wipe it though, Joshua’s thumb is there, swiping across your face and collecting it. You watch with wide eyes as he cups your face, looking at you with so much something that your head spins. “But in the morning, I was alive and she was dead. And my parents and everyone else hated me for it. That’s why they treat me the way they do. Why my parents were driven to grief. Why I’m alone.”
“You’re not alone. Not anymore.” 
“How can anyone accept me like this?”
“Because it isn’t what defines you. We are not made up of only the things we do and the things that happen to us, and I promise you, this is something that happened to you.” 
“But why? Why me?”
“I don’t know,” Joshua admits. “But we’re going to find out, okay? 
“What if the others don’t want me?” 
“They would never,” he’s quick to say. He’s still holding your face, wiping tears from your eyes. “And if they did, I don’t care. I’d do the ritual myself, just to prove to you that this burden you carry isn’t your fault.” 
You crack a grin, despite the dark topic. “Yeah? You’d try and do a circle all alone?”
“I would walk through fire for you.”
You pull your face out of his hands and shove him a bit. “Fire is your favorite element, Joshua. That’s not impressive.”
His laughter fills the room and he tugs at your hands. You grapple with him as he tries to pull you down, your ache forgotten as you laugh and squeal. “Yah! Let me try and be poetic! It was the first thing that I could think of.”
Joshua overpowers you and pulls you down against his chest. Suddenly you’re very close again, your palms pressed against his chest, the thrum of his heartbeat vibrating through your fingers. You make a surprised sound as he looks up at you, gaze a little darker. A little hazy. 
Gently, Joshua reaches up and brushes his fingers across your chin. It’s featherlight and more intimate than you expect, making you blink in surprise. You’re frozen, limbs stuck and heart racing as you watch the corner of his mouth twitch upward. Suddenly the moment feels different - this feels different. 
“You have no idea what you mean to me.”
When he says it, you don’t answer at first. You think you imagine him saying it. That suddenly this has blurred into a fantasy of yours. Perhaps you’re actually asleep, soothing your pain with dreams of Joshua. Of being like this with him, pressed closed and intimate with his gaze burning. 
“What?” you whisper back, unable to string together a better response.
He doesn’t seem offended though, huffing a laugh. “You really have no idea, huh? You’ve got that massive brain up there and you don’t even use it right.”
“I don’t…”
“You’re right, we should be practicing honesty. If we’re going to lift this block on you and let you join our circle, there can’t be secrets between us. As soon as you cast in a circle with me, you’ll see everything about me, and you deserve to not be caught off guard about what you see there.”
Your heart throbs. “What would I see, Joshua?” 
“Someone who would not only walk through fire for you, but who would burn the world down for you. I seem so nice and kind, but beneath the surface, there is a heart capable of terrible things for those I love. And I do love you. Chaotically so. Painfully so. Dangerously so.” 
“I-”
“You don’t have to love me back. I’ll never hold you to it. I just need you to know what you’ll see when we link and-”
You interrupt his rambling with a kiss. It’s brief and so quick it’s barely there. You lean away from him, heart pounding, lips parted. You’re surprised at yourself, unsure when you gained the confidence to pull a move on him. 
Joshua moves faster than you can finish your sentence. He surges forward, hands skimming up your arms roughly to cup your face and pull you down to him. His mouth is like fire, consuming and warm and sparking with heat. You feel the static shift between the two of you, his magic crackling to life as he makes a noise deep in the back of his throat. 
The slide of his plush mouth against yours makes you dizzy. He sucks your bottom lip between his teeth, nipping slightly and you become ravenous. Your tongue brushes against his teeth and he makes a throaty sound again, opening up to let you deepen the kiss, tongue sweeping against his. He’s a slow kisser, dragging his tongue against yours and letting you fall fall fall into him. 
Joshua’s hands slide from your face down your shoulders and past them, stopping only at your hips where he squeezes. Your stomach flips at the contact and you twitch a little bit, grinding down into him as his kisses go from languid to a little needier. 
“Fuck,” he gasps, head tilting back. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” you ask, mouth going to his jaw. You press wet kisses there, messy lips followed by your tongue, leaving a spit-slick trail. His skin makes your tongue tingle, magic vibrating. You grind your hips down again, rewarded with a whine. 
He slips his hands under the hem of your shirt and he digs his blunt nails into your hips. “You know what.”
Grinning, you bring your mouth up to his. Slowly, you lower your hips so you’re pressed flush to his, rolling them again, this time painfully slow. Your breath catches in your throat at the slow-drag friction, the feeling of him shivering underneath you.
“That?” you ask, breathless against his mouth. 
“Enough,” he hisses.
The world spins. Joshua grabs you and in a single, swift movement sits up and stands, carrying you with him. You squeal, hands shooting to grasp at his shoulders as he walks toward your room. He kicks his shin on the coffee table as he stumbles with you, balance off with the added weight.
He curses loudly and you can’t help but laugh, clapping a hand over your mouth when his sharp gaze snaps to yours. His eyes are dark dark, hungry and fathomless now as he raises a brow. “Yeah, you’re laughing?”
“Sorry.”
“No you’re not.”
“No, I’m not,” you admit.
“You’re gonna be.”
A wild thrill shoots through you as he carries you to the bedroom. You forget how strong he is, muscles flexing as he shifts you again, careful not to drop you. It makes you feel giddy, but you squeak in a moment of terror when he drops you unceremoniously on your bed, the brief moment of freefall startling.
You land with a huff and he grins down at you as he stands up against the edge of the bed, knees squeezing your legs together as he reaches behind his neck to yank at his t-shirt. You watch, slack-jawed as he pulls the material up and over his head.
Joshua is all gold and tan planes, body perfect in the low light of your room as he tosses his shirt. You take a second to admire his broad chest, dark nipples pebbling in the cool room. Dark hair trails from his belly button and vanishes in the waist of his jeans.
Seeking warmth, you reach for him. He leans forward, pressing his palms into the mattress to hover over you, knees placed on either side of your thighs. His muscles jump when you brush your hands up the softness of his stomach toward the harder muscle of his pecs. 
It feels like the sun is trapped underneath his skin, burning its way out of him as your fingers explore. You’ve never touched him like this, slow and reverant and full of unbridled desire. He watches you, drinking in the way you take him in. The way you take your time. 
“You’re beautiful,” you murmur, looking up at him. His ears turn red and he rolls his eyes. You grin, dragging your hand up to rest over his chest where his heart thuds wildly beneath your palm. “I mean here, idiot. Yeah you’re hot too, but you’re beautiful in here.” 
Unreadable emotion flits across his face. Something like joy and pain - the pain of wanting to hear that for so long, waiting for the admission. You understand the same pain of desire filled so unexpectedly that it hurts. 
Joshua kisses you again and this time with intent. He shifts and slides a knee between your legs, pressing up to the apex of your thighs. You groan and lift your hands, sliding them through his hair. The strands are silky soft and long. You twist your fingers at the nape of his neck, pulling him to you as the kiss turns messy.
Whatever this is between you is more magic than you’ve felt in years. You feel breathless as he kisses across your jaw and toward your neck, sucking harshly on the soft skin underneath your ear. You whine and he chuckles, hot breath hitting your ear.
“Why don’t you do that thing you love so much, hmm?” he asks, nipping your ear lobe. “Are you shy now? Don’t wanna grind on me?”
You do want to, but you hesitate. He encourages you, taking a hand and skimming down your waist to your ass, sliding under and squeezing your cheek as he lifts your hips in a motion to grind against him. The friction is good but not nearly enough and you let out a pitiful sound. 
“Come on,” he urges. “Do it right, then.”
Fuck. Fuck. 
You grind your cunt on his leg properly, planting your feet on the edge of the bed for leverage as Joshua’s mouth ravages your neck. You’re lost in him, letting your mind go a little empty as you seek friction, needing to relieve the pressure throbbing in your cunt.
Arousal gathers in your stomach and you feel yourself slow-drip into your panties, so turned on by the sudden confidence Joshua has when kissing you, when telling you to move. This is a side of him you’ve never explored and you dive in head first.
One hand leaving his hair, you grab his hand that’s on your ass as he continues to nip your collarbones, tongue laving over the sting of his bite. He lets you lead him by the wrist, and you guide his hand between your legs where you press his fingers to your zipper. 
“Please,” you rasp. “I need more.”
He sinks his teeth into the top of your right breast, tongue tasting your skin. “Is that so?”
“Please. You said you’d walk through fire for me.”
His laugh is loud and he buries his face in your chest. “Yeah,” he agrees with a chaste kiss to your kiss-bitten chest. “I did say that, huh?”
“Yes, so gimme.” 
“Anything For you.”
Years of friendship have erased any ability to feel awkward with Joshua but for a moment, you’re afraid it’ll be weird, touching one another like this. Joshua has no such qualms, unbuttoning your pants and yanking them down your legs with ease.
When he comes back up to lean over you, he doesn’t slot a knee between your legs. Instead, his fingers press firmly to your clothed cunt, a curse falling from his mouth as he feels how damp you are. You’re hot all over and yet you feel hotter still as he circles his fingers gently over your clit. 
“Fuck,” you sigh, lids fluttering closed. “Feels good.”
“You’re fucking drenched, all from a little kissing huh?”
“And grinding,” you add.
“Yeah, l remember, you little vixen.” You moan, lost in his lazy ministrations and pressure on your clit. It’s relieved some of the ache, but not nearly enough. “I can see on your face you already want more.” 
This time, Joshua doesn’t make you ask for it. He hooks a finger in your underwear and pulls them to the side. Immediately you feel cold air against you, but he’s quick to slide his fingers up and down your wet folds, slicking them up to trail back up and circle slowly around your clit.
“Damn you’re fucking wet,” he curses. He leans up a little, eyes fucked out. “Take the rest off for me, baby.”
Baby. It shivers through you and you comply, though a little haphazardly. It’s hard to remove your shirt and bra with the way his fingers are slowly pressing your clit, making you thrash and gasp. 
As soon as you lay back down, no shirt and no bra, Joshua is leaning forward, tongue darting out to flick against a stiffened nipple. You let out a loud moan and he hums in response, attaching his mouth to you and sucking. Fuck it feels good. You arch off the bed and his fingers leave your swollen clit to slide down your sticky mess to circle your entrance.
Gently, he sinks in a single finger. Your eyes roll back a little, pussy fluttering as he strokes your front wall. You’re tingling all over, buzzing with pleasure as he slowly fucks you with his finger, mouth busy plucking at your nipple with his teeth. 
You’re lost in it, melted into the bed as Joshua plays you like a well-tuned instrument. The heel of his palm presses against your clit, providing just enough pressure as he fingers you to send the room spinning on its axis. 
He tongue-kisses across your chest, mouth ravenous against your heaving gasps as he finds your other nipple. The tip of his tongue circles, making you keen and squirm underneath him. He watches you with dark eyes, teasing the aching bud before nipping you lightly. 
“Sensitive,” he mumbles, dragging spit-slicked lips against your breast. “Can you take another finger?”
You nod eagerly, hungry to be filled. Your orgasm is starting to build slowly, worked up by the way he mouths at you, by the way Joshua’s fingers reach so deep, pressing against your g-spot as he sinks another into your heat. 
“Shit,” you pant. “That feels so fucking good, Shua.”
“Mhmm.” He brings his mouth up to yours and your tongues tangle, teeth clinking together as he fucks you harder, the wet smack of your pussy against his palm loud. “Tight fucking pussy,” he pants, pressing hard against your front wall. Your heels dig into the bed as you try to keep up with the pleasure blooming in your stomach. “Gonna need to fuck you open a little if you’re gonna take me.”
If you’re gonna take me.
The promise of more has you rolling your hips up to meet his hand. He lets you fuck yourself on his fingers, dropping his gaze to look between your bodies. Your thighs and his stomach are slick with your juice, leaking around his fingers uncontrollably. 
When Joshua introduces another finger, you hiss. The stretch is hard and it burns. He doesn’t keep thrusting right away, letting your cunt stretch around his three digits. But he’s pressed up against your soft spot, making you see stars as he puts unrelenting pressure on your nerves. 
It feels like insanity, the way he does this to you. The way Joshua buries his face in your neck, your chests pressed together to provide friction against your teeth-marked nipples as he starts to build up a pace again, thrusting. 
“I’m gonna come,” you whisper, hands grabbing frantically at his sweaty shoulder blades. Your thighs are shaking and it’s hard to get a breath in. Your voice quakes as you gasp. “Fuck.”
“So come,” he says, as if it’s that simple. He puts weight behind the hand fucking you, quickens the pace. Presses so fucking hard you think you might blackout. “If you’re gonna come, then do it.” 
And you do. Just like that, nails digging into his shoulders, eyes squeezed shut and teeth clenched, you come around his fingers. He fucks you through it, breath hot in your ear. Your knees squeeze around his hips until you’re spent, collapsing against the mattress, boneless. 
Joshua retracts his fingers. The sudden feeling of being empty makes you huff in protest and he laughs, lifting his face from your neck. You pout up at him and he kisses you again before leaning upward, straddling your legs. 
Your eyes zero in on his hands as they undo the top of his belt. His hand is covered in a wet sheen, cum-slicked and sticky. He doesn’t care, popping up the belt and pulling down the zipper of his pants. You grow eager, leaning up as he pulls the waist down, revealing the dark briefs that do nothing to hide how hard he is. 
With no warning, you reach for his clothed cock, squeezing firmly. He hisses and drops his hands, jeans only pulled halfway down his thighs. Joshua tips his head back and moans at the ceiling as you lean forward and mouth at the damp spot on his briefs, tasting him. 
“Fuck,” he swears and you grin, pressing and holding the flat of your tongue to the cloth to wet it.
You hum. Fingers dancing up his thighs, you pause at the elastic band, looking up at him through your lashes. “Can I?”
Joshua tucks his bottom lip between his teeth, eyes half-lidded. He nods, watching and dazed as you peel the elastic down his hips slowly. You lean forward as you do, pressing a soft kiss to his hip bone. He twitches and sighs in response.
You look at his cock as it bobs against his stomach, brown tip smearing precum against his navel. You lick your lips and drag your hand up, fingers gripping his velvety shaft. He’s thick and heavy in your hand as you grasp him firmly, stroking upward. 
“Oh fuck,” he whispers, hips twitching. You grin up at him, swiping a thumb over the crown of his cock to spread the wetness down his shaft. He hums, entranced. “More.”
You don’t have to ask what he means. You lean upwards, pulling the tip of his cock toward your mouth. You slide just the tip into your mouth, suckling generously and running your tongue along the slit. His hand slips to the side of your neck, resting there but not doing anything. It’s a comforting weight as you take him in your mouth properly. 
Joshua is art above you. Chest flushed, mouth open, eyes closed. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was on his knees at worship. It is a sort of worship, the way you sink down on his cock, lips stretched wide, drool dripping down the side of your mouth and running down your jaw and neck. Is it not the spirit of loving him moving through you? Is this not heaven, looking up at him and seeing someone that has chosen you over and over again?
No pagan ritual in your life as a witch has felt like this. You swallow around him, eyes watering as you choke on his length, pulling back a little to catch your breath. Your hand squeezes him at the base, slick with your spit and his precum. Your mouth is wet and swollen as you lick the underside of his shaft, never looking away from his face.
“Fuck that mouth,” he sighs, eyes opening and looking down at you. He squeezes the side of your neck a little, fingers right against your throat. “Come on,” he murmurs. “I can’t hold out if you keep going. How do you like it?”
Instead of answering him, you pull off of him with a sloppy, wet noise. You make a show of running your tongue along your lips before turning around and crawling up the bed, wiggling your ass a little. Joshua groans as he sheds his jeans and briefs the rest of the way. 
The bed sinks when he crawls behind you. You go down on your elbows, ass up high. He smacks each cheek firmly with both hands, making you yelp as he grips the stinging flesh, squeezing. “You have a good ass.”
“It’s all those charmed cinnabons you feed me.”
He laughs loudly at that. Joshua’s hand skims down to your thighs, grabbing them and pushing them open. You sink a little lower on the bed, face pressed to the sheets and letting your eyes shut. The hair on his thighs sends a shiver up your spine as his legs brush against yours, hands roaming and squeezing your hips, your butt, your thighs.
“You’re fucking perfect,” he mutters. His hands come back over the globes of your ass and sink toward your wet cunt. You moan as his thumbs peel you open, pressing around your clenching hole. “Shit.” 
The bed bounces as he moves again and then your eyes are snapping open, fingers twisting in your sheets when you feel the flat of his tongue swipe up your pussy. He hums in delight and you’re reeling, trying to catch your breath as he licks at you.
“Just wanted a taste,” he says, more to himself than you. He sucks your clit into his mouth, flicking his tongue over it a few times and you nearly crumble right there at the unexpected stimulation. He slow-licks up to your hole, tracing it once before retracting his mouth. “I have all the time in the world for you to come in my mouth. Right now I just wanna feel you.”
“Yes, please.”
Your breath gets stuck when you feel the head of Joshua’s cock catch your entrance. He’s thick, and even though you’re dripping down your thighs and stretched from his fingers, the pressure of him sinking into your heat slowly sends you moaning like a wanton whore, unable to stop the sounds escaping your mouth.
Joshua is precise, hands holding your hips firmly until he’s fully seated in your cunt, your walls fluttering around him. You feel so full, his cock reaching deep enough to feel in your gut. When he pulls all the way out, you think something is wrong, but he fucks back into you hard.
“Oh shit,” you gasp, feeling the full weight of him spear you. “Holy shit.”
He doesn’t say anything but he grunts, setting a slow but deep pace. His hips snap into you with force, your knees spreading a little bit wider. He leans into it more, moving his hands to press into the small of your back. The full force of his weight pushing your hips into the bed as he slams into you makes you dizzy. 
An orgasm starts to build deep in your stomach. You claw at the bed, breaths coming out in a hiss. Joshua grabs one of your hands, pulling it backward to pin it against your lower back before doing the same to the other. You’re completely pinned under him, pushed so far into the mattress you think you might fade and vanish into foam and sheets. 
Nothing here matters but the way he fucks into you, unrelenting, heavy, precise. He says your name and it rolls off his tongue sweeter than any pastry he’s ever made. Your orgasm creeps up on you, shaking and thunderous. It feels stronger than before, a pressure that makes you start to shiver, feet kicking under him.
For a moment, he slows, pulling off you a little. “Okay?”
“Keep going,” you beg him, voice high-pitched and strange to your ears. “Please don’t stop, I’ll tell you if I can’t take it.”
That’s all he needs. He redoubles and this time, changes his direction, hits that spot inside of you head on with his cock and you think you’re going to pass out. You become lifeless under him, unable to do anything but take it. The wave of your orgasm builds and builds and builds until finally, it breaches. 
You come for a second time, no noise coming out of you. It’s all white vision and squeezed thighs and ringing ears. You think you feel something like a bolt of lightning, a snap of power so strong as you clench around Joshua that you taste static in the air. 
It’s hard to know how long it lasts. One moment you’re shaking and the next, you’re drifting, feeling weightless and exhausted. The weight of Joshua’s touch keeps you tethered and from straying too far, but you’re somewhere in between nonetheless. 
Slowly, reality drips back to you. You think you may have dozed a little, your eyes dry as you blink them open. Joshua is lying next to you, arm wrapped around you and eyes closed. He’s not breathing deep enough to be asleep, confirming it when his eyes open, sensing your gaze.
A smile lights up his face and you smile tiredly at him. Your cunt aches and your legs and arms are sore from being pinned, and you’re still a little shaky. Thoughts of your orgasm make you twitch, post-sex tremors that you can’t escape.
“Hi,” you rasp. “Did I fall asleep?”
“I think you blacked out.”
“I- what?” 
“I sort of…” he frowns. “There was like this electrical snap when I came. You clenched me so fucking hard I just… let go. I think we sort of had a magical orgasm.”
“A magical orgasm.”
He grins. “Just say thank you for the witch orgasm.”
“Ugh.” You smack his chest and he laughs hoarsely. 
It did feel like that though. Like a crackle of energy, like being struck by a storm of electricity and heat. You feel tired and heavy-limbed, but you feel sticky and sweaty too. “I need a shower.”
“Mhmm. I was waiting for you to come to.” He starts to sit up. “Come on, I’ll shower you. Then we need to sleep. We have to prepare you for your big day.”
“My big day?”
Joshua grins as he reaches a hand for you. There’s a spark again when you touch and you hesitate, feeling the well of his magic there. It hums in him, a thunderhead of power and fire. He sees your expressions and softens. “You can’t hurt me.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Baby, I just fucked you until you blacked out, and you know what you didn’t do?” Your brows pull together and he smiles. “You didn’t pull an ounce of my magic from me. I think you’re a lot better at control than you think you are.”
Licking your lips, you nod and let him pull you from bed. You are good at control. You had to be after your sister. It’s something you’ve practiced nonstop, the unconscious control of your desire for magic. Even when you sleep, you wake up often, fearful of losing your grip on yourself while you slumber.
It hasn’t happened yet. And as Joshua leads you to the shower, you think… maybe it never will. Especially if the ritual goes right. Especially if you can get your magic back. 
Perhaps for the first time since you were thirteen, you feel a sliver of hope. When you look at Joshua and you feel your heart stutter, you know that even without your magic, you’ve found something.
-
“Oh for the love of the land,” Jihoon groans when you appear in the basement of Joshua’s home. “Look at the two of you.”
Everyone swivels to look at you and Joshua, who are hand-in-hand. You freeze, pulling up short to take in the candle-lit room and the other men who are all looking at you with equal parts happiness and a little bit of amusement.
You shift from foot to foot and chew your lip. Suddenly you want to turn tail and run back up the stairs and away from the watchful eyes of your friends - of Joshua’s coven members. But Joshua holds your hand tight, tugging you down the rest of the stairs into the gloom of the room.
Perhaps gloom isn’t the right word. The room is much too warm and smells of sage and thyme, a good feeling if not a little overwhelming. Outside this house, there is an entire festival going on at the park. The covenstead witches were furious when Joshua let them know that he and his members would not be participating this year, as they had private matters to attend to.
It’s common for covens to use the holiday for something specific. Perhaps to bless a witch in need, or to strengthen a spell, or to defeat some evil. You remember that night that your parents left you alone for Beltane duties to fight and remove Dissenters, and how that turned out for you.
Magic hums all around you. It’s in the sigils on the ceiling of Joshua’s sanctum and it’s in the ley lines that you can feel now more than ever as the veil between worlds thins. Each member of the coven has magic humming in their veins, a sort of signature taste and feel to it. You sense Jihoon’s deep shadows and Seungcheol’s vibrant green, taste Jeonghan’s clean water and feel Junhui’s pure air. Minghao and Joshua are the flickering flame that fills the room with light and heat, and Chan’s crackling storm greets you in the corner.
It’s hard to imagine where you fit in with them. But they don’t have a blood witch, who is all of these things wrapped into one. You know that they support you. All of you have gone over the ritual what feels like a hundred times at this point, perfecting it and making sure you know it inside and out.
The two rituals are wildly different. One to seek and find the source of your pain, led by Jihoon and Junhui. Jihoon’s shadows and connection to the other side will help seek answers and provide clarity on whatever signs and hints come through the vision you’re supposed to have, and Junhui’s strength with air will help keep you protected and clear of any negative energy.
Then, a small spell to build a bridge between the two rituals that Seungcheol will handle with Jeonghan. Seungcheol has it down to a science and has previously used it to link spells, and his affinity for earth will ground the entire circle. Jeonghan’s skill with water is to help guide you from ritual to ritual with ease and clarity. 
It’s the second half of the ritual that’s the most demanding, which is why it’s Minghao and Chan conducting the destructive half, breaking whatever stands between you and your magic. Two warriors meant to sever your block or the target of your curse, whichever it may be.
And it’s possible that you’re cursed. You have briefly spoken about what that means. About what to do. It will most likely mean something damaging and life-threatening for whoever did curse you, if you forcefully try to shatter it instead of finding the cause. 
But there’s also potential for you to be harmed if the two of them try to break it and it’s too strong. It’s a risk that you have to assess in the moment, which is terrifying. You want to do it anyway, and you’re happy to find that they support you. That they’re there for you.
Coven members already, really. 
All of them are dressed to perform a ritual. Dark robes, anointed element symbols in dark ash on their brows. Jihoon has a small circlet around his head, making you pause and tilt your head as you glance at Joshua. He sees your confusion and smiles. “Jihoon is our high priest tonight,” he murmurs. “He will start and end the circle so I can be here with you.”
Jihoon is blushing and looking up at the ceiling when you turn back to him. For him to step up and hold the circle as the beginning and end is a huge risk on him. He’ll be providing the most magic and taking on the most risk second only to you, all so that Joshua can move freer and have more control.
“Jihoon is a very powerful witch, as you know,” Joshua murmurs, steering you to the center of the room. “He holds circles for a lot of our rituals when we feel he’s better suited.” 
“Which is often,” Jihoon mutters at the ceiling where he keeps his gaze. 
“Yah, shut up, hag. Everyone get in their places.”
Joshua puts you in the very center of the room. There is a pentagram chalked in powder, but there is no glow to it, no light to signal that it’s being used. He squeezes your shoulders and you look at him, wide eyed and afraid. His smile is warm and a little nervous, but he leans in and kisses you once.
“Trust us,” he says. “This will be hard on you. But we’ve got you.”
“Okay.”
“Don’t break the circle,” he reminds you. “If you have to break, do it when Seungcheol is at the middle part and before we start the second ritual. He will open the circle a little, but it’ll be just for a moment before the second is started and locked.”
“Right. Ten second escape if I need to.”
“You only have that window if we need to stop. Once we start the second, there is no stopping until the full ritual is complete.”
“Got it.”
“Good luck,” Joshua whispers and kisses you on the brow. “I’ll be right here.”
With a deep breath, he steps to the side and grasps your hand. The two of you stand alone in the middle, you and your anchor. Silence settles over the room. You haven’t been in the middle of a circle since you were a little girl receiving her first welcome into the coven. You had done that with your sister by your side and your mother at the head of the circle.
Now, you’re with Joshua, with Jihoon at the head of the circle. Jihoon doesn’t really make eye contact with you, but you sense his calming aura even from where he stands at the first point of the circle. He rolls his shoulders and closes his eyes, lifting his palms upward. “I stand at north, the beginning and end, start this circle, spirit ascend.”
You feel the ripple of magic in the room. Fire crackles at Jihoon’s feet, making you flinch. You watch as the red flames lick toward Junhui, who is quick and light as he murmurs, “I stand northeast, to cleanse and protect, continue the circle, spirit to the next.”
You watch the flame as it sparks to life, moving clockwise around the room. Every time a member joins the circle, you feel the power thrum through the room, the pentagram beneath your feet beginning to glow. The flame comes all the way back around to Jihoon and he closes it, eyes opening and looking right at you.
Jihoon looks different than before, eyes shadowed and full of stars. “Begin,” he commands, voice like a thousand whispers. 
A little spike of fear goes through you as Junhui begins to chant. You recognize the Latin immediately but your unpracticed ears lose trace of the meaning. It’s picked up slowly in the room and you feel your palms slick with sweat as the light of the pentagram pulses beneath your feet, the flames flickering around the feet of the coven members.
Jihoon’s voice picks up the chant like you’ve never heard him before. It’s uncanny and you lean into Joshua, who squeezes your hand and looks down at you.
“It’s okay,” he whispers. “This happens when he leads a circle. Veil is thin.”
Nodding your head, you turn to the front again, feeling the itch to pull power from the circle, to draw their magic into you. There’s so much of it filling the room, an open tap of water spilling into the sink. You dig your teeth into your bottom lip, worried that you won’t be able to resist, worried that you’re going to pull from the magic and-
A wave of dizziness hits you. You gasp and bend over, hand circling your middle as though you’ve just been punched. Joshua’s hands are on your back but you can’t hear him, a high-pitched ringing drowning out the sound of his voice. For a second, you’re lost in the sensation of having the air sucked from your lungs and the whine in your ears getting higher and higher.
Just when you think that your ear drums will burst, the ringing stops. There is a hushed whisper filling your ears and you still can’t catch your breath. The room spins a little and when you look up expecting to see Jihoon, all you see is dark trees and a blurry shadowy… building. Something. 
The whispers creep up on you. There are so many of them, hundreds - no, thousands - of voices brushing against you, dragging their fingers along your skin, touching you, hissing, singing, screaming. It’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced and their words are jumbled, sliding over one another.
Terror begins to claw at you. You try to remain calm, remembering that these are not the voices of spirits or something evil. Junhui is commanding this ritual, an element of purity and guidance. He won’t let anything bad happen to you.
With faith in your future coven member, you try to focus on the voices. Try to decode them. Seungcheol warned you that the messaging might be confusing. That you might not follow or understand what it’s saying. Symbols, images, key words. You need to reach for anything that seems like something, that can point to the origin of your block and follow it. 
Jihoon’s presence presses at the back of your mind. It startles you at first, to feel who you know is innately Jihoon. You follow the press of whatever he’s doing and you catch a few words that fly by you: little hut little hut. Little hut little hut. Little hut little hut. 
Unsure what it means, you cling to that. Little hut. It means something… you remember something about it. Jihoon’s presence fades away, satisfied that you’ve picked up on whatever it is he sees or senses. 
Flipping through memories, you try to remember why a hut might mean anything to you. There were no huts by your town… nothing that you can remember no one you know of. 
Little hut, little hut.
One memory sticks with you. Your sister playing in the background, hopscotching to a little tune that Mila down the street whispered to her about a witch in the woods. 
Little hut, little hut
Hidden in the wood
Little hut, little hut
Up to no good
Yes, you think. A rhyme about a witch who lived in the woods. More thing than witch, really. A shadowy being that took the shape of a hut, a creature of magic and curses that could be found in the darkest part of the woods when the veil is thin. 
Little hut, little hut
Alone in the gloom
Little hut, little hut
Silent as a tomb
You see it now. The blurry shape of a house that’s not really a house. The witch in the wood was a blood witch once, it was said. A witch who had long since dissented and practiced arcane magic, following a path that led her here. That led her to this. A thing of the woods. 
It occurs to you the weight of the appearance of her. This hut in the woods. Jihoon’s flippant remark about you being cursed is suddenly real.
Dread drops down in your stomach like a weight. You can’t hear anything beyond the rhyme, the chant to find the witch of the woods. You’re cursed, you realize. All the fear that your condition was self-inflicted, that it was your fault, that this was something you did. 
This is something that happened to you, Joshua had said.
And he was right. Someone cursed you - did this to you. A child. 
Out there in the world, there is someone responsible for the death of your sister. Someone who took your magic, who turned you into a leech. The reason for your family's pain, the reason for them throwing you away. For your father and mother being driven mad, for the town turning against you.
You think about the rock that hit you just days ago. Thrown by a child taught to hate you. Taught that it was okay to hurt you because it was you. The town siphoner. A witch who couldn’t make her own magic, a parasite. 
Anger wells up inside of you and you latch onto the rhyme swirling around your head, clawing through it. This is the thread you must follow to find your curse giver. This is the clue.
Little hut, little hut
Across the dark stream
Little hut, little hut
Wait for the scream
Dully, you are aware that Joshua is next to you. You see him from the corner of your eye but it’s not Joshua at all. Well - not as you now know him. This Joshua is younger - a teenager by the looks of it. He’s not doing anything except staring out into the darkness. He fades in and out like a bad TV picture, glitching and blurring. But you know it’s him. 
His face is different though. Twisted in grief and pain, a frozen picture of angst. You imagine this is what you looked like when your sister died, a tableau of hurt and hate. 
Little hut, little hut
I call to thee
Little hut, little hut
Come to me
The Joshua in front of you fades away. You reach out for him but your hands cut through empty air and darkness. He’s not really there and you have a hard time grasping the meaning of this. The voice sounds almost like Joshua but not quite. Not as mature. 
Young Joshua doesn’t show up again. You can feel the real Joshua somewhere in the mess of the vision and the darkness, but you can’t hear him. Can’t see him. There is only the omnipresent darkness of the hut and the whispers of voices. 
Little hut, little hut
Hear my strife
Little hut, little hut
Ruin this life 
There’s a flash of lightning. A storm in the darkness, splashes of purple and blue electricity. You cover your eyes as you hear thunder, low and soft somewhere. Across from you, your sister appears. She’s a fraternal twin who looks nothing like you except in the eyes. Your eyes look right back at you.
She’s the same age she was when she died. When you took her magic away. When you were cursed. She looks the same age as the apparition of Joshua, and you try to understand. To make the connection from what you're seeing as the lightning lances again like it did that fateful night.
The rhyme keeps circling in a hurricane of whispers. 
As the ritual comes to a close, the vision begins to fade. You’re no better off than where you started and in a panic, you reach for the vision of your sister. You just want to hold her one last time, to feel the warmth of her skin.
But she isn’t real and she fades as Junhui’s chanting falls to a murmur and then to a whisper, the air returning to normal. You can breathe again, and as you look up from where you’re bent over, you see Joshua kneeling on the ground in front of you, holding you by the shoulders. His face is swimming with fear and concern, gaze searching.
Joshua looks so much like his younger self. He’s matured into his face and is a handsome man, but he was a cute teenager. His face now is full of love and concern, but you think about his face in your vision. Twisted in pain and years. 
Little hut, little hut
Hear my strife
Little hut, little hut
Ruin this life 
You straighten up suddenly, knocking him over on his ass as you do so. It feels like you’ve been slapped as you stare at him, a sudden buzz in your ears as you stare and stare and stare. The ritual comes to an end and Seungcheol opens the circle - a foot in the door, more like - and begins to start his spell for Minghao and Chan to weave the new ritual into the circle. 
Without thinking about it, you dash for the edge of the circle. Joshua yells but you’re fast, surging between Seungcheol and Jeonghan where the door exists. Seungcheol’s head snaps to look at you, eyes wide and mouth open.
“Close it and close the circle,” you pant. 
“I-”
“Close the fucking circle!”
All eyes turn to you. They hesitate for a moment, the flames around them wavering. You can feel the power licking at their heels and something like rage shudders through you. You don’t know where to channel it yet and you begin to pace as Seungcheol recloses the circle and turns to Jihoon. 
Slowly, Jihoon begins to finish the ritual. They work backward from Jihoon to Chan to Minghao to Jeonghan. You don’t look at them, wringing your hands as you pace back and forth, heart reaching a wild beat. 
Images fly by. The hut, the whispers, Joshua’s face, the thunderstorm, your sister. 
The narrative isn’t straightforward. You don’t quite understand the rhyme, or its function, but the second half sounds bad, sounds perhaps like a plea. A bargain. A need for a curse. You recall the thunderstorm on the night of Beltane, the way your sister watched with wide eyes while you sought her out. You think of Joshua’s affinity for fire and storms, the way he can command thunder just by being upset. You think of his face, so full of pain and hate. 
Finally, they finish the circle. Joshua rushes to you, hands outstretched and a question on his mouth but you jerk away from him. 
“Did you curse someone?” you demand, making him pull up short. He opens and closes his mouth. The silence in the room is deafening. You can hear your own heartbeat, pulse throbbing in your ears. “Joshua, did you curse someone?”
“I… what does that have to do with-”
“Little hut, little hut. Hear my strife. Little hut, little hut. Ruin this life.” 
Three things happen then. The first is Joshua’s confusion as he shakes his head, lost as to why you’re repeating a rhyme back to him. Then a flicker of memory followed by the drain of color on his face. He straightens up, blanched and shakes his head back and forth as he takes a step away from you.
“No,” he says and takes another step back. “That’s not right, I didn’t curse you.”
“What did you do?” 
“I didn’t curse you,” he says again. He seems lost in it though, like he’s saying it to himself. Jihoon takes a step toward Joshua and he holds out a hand, warding Jihoon off. “I cursed the witches responsible for killing my parents. I didn’t curse you.” 
“You cursed someone?” Minghao hisses from across the circle. “And you never thought to mention it in preparation for this?”
“Shut up, Minghao,” Joshua snaps. “I didn’t curse her. I did go into the woods that night to find the hut witch and I cursed the people responsible for killing my parents. I didn’t even know you then.” 
“Did you give a name? What did you say?” 
“I didn’t know their names!” He answers, frantic and looking at you pleadingly. “I didn’t - no. I remember it, I shared my blood with her, to show the memory. I saw their faces, but I didn’t know their names. We were -” his voice cracks and he clutches his hands against his chest, tears in his eyes. “I was so afraid when they came. We’d been going from town to town, trying to get away. My parents wanted to go back home, overseas. We just had to get there and then these witches, they came and blew down the door and they killed them.”
“So you cursed them based on a memory?”
“Yes,” he insists. “Baby, I didn’t curse you. How could I? How would I?”
Little hut, little hut
Hear my strife
Little hut, little hut
Ruin this life 
“Joshua.” You say his full name, voice ringing and calmer than you feel. Your stomach is in knots and you feel your mouth water, hinting at the nausea working its way up your throat. “Did you ask the blood witch in the hut to ruin the lives of the witches who killed your parents?”
“Yes.”
“Were your parents Dissenters killed on the night of Beltane?”
A long stretch of silence takes up the space between you. You stare at Joshua and he becomes a stranger. Become another person on the street that looks at you with hate. Another face in the dozens of the town who don’t care if you exist. 
When Joshua says nothing, it means everything. The final piece of information slots its way in and you feel like you’re going to crack open like an egg and spill out. Gooey and yolk-yellow. 
“That was why there was a storm,” you whisper. “Because you were angry and upset, wherever it was that you were. And you cursed my family. Not my parents. Our entire family. That’s why I lost my magic and siphoned my sister to death. That’s why my parents were driven to madness and their eventual end. It’s why everyone hates me. You cursed me with ruin.”
“I…” Joshua shakes his head but can’t make the words come out. 
There is no way out now. You get everything picture perfect for the first time. It’s the perfect curse, really. Driving your family to ruin in different ways. Pushing you, the final member of the family, to the person you would eventually fall in love with, to the person that cursed you.
You turn and run. He tries to run after you but someone stops him. He has his coven to comfort him for what he’s done and you have nothing and no one. Just how you started. 
Your runaway is messy. Tripping over thresholds, slipping down stairs. Night stretches over the world and the air is thrumming with energy. You think it would be so easy to tap into, to take and take and take the magic around you that echoes from the Beltane festivals. Would anyone even notice if you took a little?
Still, you don’t. Hot tears blind you as you stumble into the woods behind Joshua’s house. It’s not the best shortcut when you’re distraught and overcome with tears, but you think you can get to your apartment building by memory alone. 
Around you, the world grows darker and quieter. Eventually, all you can hear is your ragged breathing and sniffling as the tears freefall. Something prickles on your skin and you slow your tangled escape to look around you.
The woods are unfamiliar. At least, they seem darker and hazier, like you’re somewhere that looks like the woods behind Joshua’s house but isn't quite right. You’re more careful as you move forward, one foot in front of the other. 
A breeze cools the back of your neck. It makes you shiver, feeling more like a finger running down your spine than the actual wind. A whisper of noise wisps by you and you stop, frowning. Trying to grasp the words as they float by, indiscernible. 
You start walking again, following the sound of a voice that is always just a little too far ahead. A little too soft spoken for you to make out the words. When you do manage to catch up, you hear a soft little rhyme. 
Little hut, little hut
Hidden in the wood
Little hut, little hut
Up to no good
Little hut, little hut
Alone in the gloom
Little hut, little hut
Silent as a tomb
Little hut, little hut
Across the dark stream
Little hut, little hut
Wait for the scream
Something like a high-pitched wail rings out behind you. Your limbs lock and goosebumps explode over your arms and legs as you slowly crane your neck to look in the direction that you came. There’s no clear path, just tangled trees and darkness. 
A soft buzz tingles along your skin. You sense the magic, static that you can’t hear but you can feel and taste on your tongue. Slowly, you turn back to face the direction you’re walking. There is a tiny little stream in front of you, trickling and black.
Carefully, you step over it. Your hands quake. Sweat gathers on the nape of your neck and your upper lip, your mouth trembling as you see the vague shape of a hut. Or perhaps it's just the idea of a hut, with a hole for a door that looks endless. Void. Dark. 
You think about your sister. See her face swimming in front of you, so full of life. Then it drains of color as you bleed her dry and steal everything from her. Every drop, turning her from a beautiful girl full of the sun and the sky into a husk. 
You clench your fists. 
Vengeance can’t bring her back. Vengeance can’t make them love you. But it can take away this fucking hurt inside of you, the pain that you have carried for so long that it feels like a wound that will never close. So you decide to take a page out of Joshua’s book.
“Little hut, little hut,” you whisper, voice shaking. “Feel my ache. Little hut, little hut, make him break.” 
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drysdalesworld · 1 month ago
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loving this Eklund family series! Would love to hear about Oskar going to a game!
oskar, papa’s #1 fan!
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series masterlist
pairing(s): mom!reader x son!oc x dad!william eklund
genre: fluff
warning(s): usual hockey stuff (fights, penalties, etc.). also, oskar is well spoken for a 3 ½ year old in this blurb, so let’s just ignore that & say he’s just advanced in his speech abilities
note(s): it’s like you’ve read my mind. i was planning on doing something like this & now, here it is! this is also a really long blurb. technically it can count as an imagine, but i didn’t want to transfer everything onto a google doc & then onto here to get a word count lol. ending’s a little shit, but hope you enjoy it!
The early morning skate had been a success for the Eklund boys.
William had managed to convince Ryan Warsofsky, his head coach, to allow Oskar to tag along for the teams morning skate.
The whole team had been excited to have the boy skated up on the ice. Albeit him being so young and tiny, he had pretty good balance on the ice, only falling or tripping over his feet a handful of times.
Macklin Celebrini and Will Smith had taken it upon themselves to entertain the young Eklund boy during practice. They played tag with him during water breaks, pretending to trip over their feet so the three-and-a-half year old could tag them. They passed pucks between his legs and practiced their stick handling skills, making the little boy giggle as he chased the rubber pucks. Macklin even held Oskar in his arms at one point, the child sideways as the teenager skated, the two making casual conversation.
Oskar had a blast to say the least.
When the two had arrived home an hour after you woke up, the child began talking about how much fun he had and how he couldn’t wait to do it again (mostly gushing about the two teenagers who played with him the entire practice). He promptly passed out on the couch after he ate his second breakfast of the day. William had joined his son not too long afterwards, both Eklund boys asleep on opposite ends of the furniture.
William had quietly left the house after he woke from his nap a couple of hours before he needed to be at the rink again. He placed a gentle kiss on the crown of Oskar’s head before softly kissing your lips, a silent goodbye to the both of you so as to not wake up the sleeping boy.
Getting Oskar ready wasn’t as much as a hassle as it usually is. He didn’t fuss or pout as you got him dressed and ready, proudly wearing his custom jersey.
“Ready to see Papa play?” You asked, holding his much smaller hand in yours as you both walked into the bustling arena, Felicia Wennberg trailing behind the two of you with her own children.
“Yeah!” Oskar exclaimed, excitement clear and buzzing.
He always loves seeing his Dad play and make plays out on the ice. He thought it was enchanting to watch him play. Oskar always complimented how he liked the way his Father skated out on the ice, as if he was floating. Everything about his Father, even his job, seemed surreal and amazing. He truly looked up to him in more ways than one.
“You think he’ll score tonight?” You questioned, picking him up to make it easier to maneuver your way to your designated seats.
“Of course! Papa’s a good scorer, Mama,” Oskar replied, head on your shoulder as he watched other fans of the Sharks and Bruins alike walk around. “Or he’ll get a pass”.
Oskar’s hockey terminology isn’t up to par with William or yours, so you know that he’s referring to an assist when he mumbles pass.
The two of you, including Felicia and her two kids, finally made it to your saved and designated seats by the other wives and girlfriends. It wasn’t too close to the glass but not far off where William wouldn’t be able to spot you both from the ice.
“Hope the boys break the Bruins win streak,” Felicia hopefully muttered to you once you all sat down, the two of you shoulder to shoulder while Oskar sat on the left of you and her children sat on the right of her.
You nodded in agreement. “I hope so too. It’d be good to get another win on the board”.
Conversation between the two of you flowed easily, both of your children also following into chatting as all five of you wait for warmups to start.
Warmups were Oskars favorite part of hockey games. He liked seeing all the things each individual player did before a game, especially whatever routine his Father decided to do that night.
“Mama?” Oskar asked, standing up in his seat as he leaned over to get your attention. “Can we go down to see Papa?”
“Of course! We always do, Ossie bear” you replied, swooping him in your arms as you kissed his pink cheeks.
By the time the five of you made it down to the glass, players had begun to skate out, flying by fans banging on the barrier separating them from the players.
Oskar had immediately began to bang on the glass with his palms, yelling for his Father, trying to catch his attention.
Macklin Celebrini had been the one to beeline towards the Eklund boy. A big smile spread on the tees lips, waving to Oskar as he held a puck in his hands, tossing it up over the glass for Oskar to catch.
“Hey, buddy!” Macklin exclaimed, tapping the glass with his gloved finger.
Oskar shrieked in excitement, holding the puck close to his chest as he slapped the glass. “Mack! Mack!”
Spotting his teammate animatedly talking to his son and wife, William grinned and made his way to the center player.
William gently collided with Macklin, wrapping his arms around the front of the teen, the both of them bouncing off the glass and spinning slightly.
“Papa!” Oskar shouted, hand slapping on the glass even harder. “Look! I got a puck!”
The young blond boy held up the puck that Mack tossed the child, grin so wide all of his teeth showed.
William smiled back at his son, rustling Macklin’s hair before the teen skated off to continue his warmup routine.
“I see that, bud! That was nice of him,” he commented, tapping the glass like the teen before him did.
His eyes darted up to you, the familiar look of adoration painted on his face as he watched you interact with Felicia and your son. William loved seeing the two of you at his games. It’s essentially what he lived for—seeing the two most important people in his life support him through every game and milestone in his career.
“Want to stay for media tonight, bud?” William asked, tossing pucks to fans near the two of you. “We can get gräddglass (ice cream) afterwards.”
At the mention of ice cream, Oskar nodded in agreement and you shot your husband a look, telling him that no matter the result of tonight’s game, he was in charge of taking care of Oskar during his sugar rush.
William only smiled, pressing some of his gloved fingers to his lips and putting them on the glass, his usual tell of ‘I love you’ before skating off. You and your son copied his action, eyes following as he ran off to join the others in their warmups.
“Hi, I’m so sorry” a voice piqued, catching your attention as you turned towards the direction of where the voice came from. “But would it be possible for me to get a picture with you? You’re just—You’re the coolest WAG ever!”
You chuckled a little, nodding as you adjusted Oskar in your arms.
The girl smiles widely and takes out her phone, leaning in a little and snapping the picture, all three of you smiling.
———
It had been a stressful first period.
The Sharks were shooting every chance they got, but none of them were successful. The game was tied at 0-0 for both teams going into the first intermission.
But within minutes of the second period, William had received a pass from Macklin, rushing down the ice as no one one the other team had been on defense. A Bruins player tried to block William’s shot, but his, and the goalies, efforts were in vain as the puck made contact with the net, the loud buzzer sound erupted throughout the arena.
Oskar jumped up from his seat, screaming at the top of his lungs.
“Oh my God!” Felicia screamed, jumping up and down along with her children. “He scored!”
You had been standing up the second William’s stick touched the puck this period. You cheered alongside your son and close friend, embracing your son as you lightly shook him in your hold.
“Papa scored! Papa scored!” Oskar cheered, toothy smile on his face as he pumped his hands in the air in excitement.
As chaos and cheers erupted from the stands and ice, William took a moment from his celebration and pointed at the two of you, his gloved fingers touching his lips beforehand. He smiled widely up at you and Oskar, smoothly gliding across the ice on his way back to the bench.
You returned the favor and smiled back just as big, your son still cheering in your arms.
It was moments like this that made it all the more worth it to support your husband in his dreams. You knew every goal was dedicated not just to you and Oskar, but everyone else who supported him in his endeavors.
“Looks like Ossie’s staying for media tonight,” Felicia muttered to you, smiles still decorating your faces.
You laughed at her comment, nodding to it as Oskar continued to celebrate his Fathers first goal of the night.
“There was no shot he wasn’t going to do it. He’s going to steal all the spotlight from William,” you added, your son now perched in his seat, adamantly watching the game on the ice.
It was moments like these that you thanked whatever higher power that you had the life you had. You were forever grateful that you landed in William’s life and that he made it all worthwhile.
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wearylaurels · 2 months ago
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Not sure if this has already been said but I was going through the illustrations for the Illustrated hunger games and I can’t stop thinking of the depiction the artist took for Thresh.
In the original book, Katniss describes Thresh as powerful and intimidating—a build on par with the Careers, strong and silent, a mysterious threat lurking on the edges of the arena that is able to hold out until the very last days of the 74th games. And you can see how this interpretation informed the casting choices made for him in the live action adaptations. For years, the only image we’ve had of Thresh is of this strong, unstoppable guy who had to be taken out by either the physically strongest guy in the Games, or by monsters designed by the Capitol itself.
And then, you see Thresh as he’s illustrated.
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The low angle. The backlight throwing almost his entire figure into shadow. The way he holds aloft the rock he just killed Clove with—the fact that you can *see* Clove’s corpse in the background. Everything about this image is designed to paint Thresh as this hulking berserker, moments away from beating in your skull.
But then you see his face. Those eyes, welling with tears. The look of disbelief. The way his mouth is opened—what is he saying? Is he asking Katniss if she’s the one who killed Rue? The little girl who would sing when it was time to go home from the fields? Or is he stunned into silence as Katniss recounts how she buried Rue in flowers, how she sang to her in her final moments? In the books it’s mentioned that he never talked to anyone—was he preparing, like Katniss, to see everyone in that arena as a threat? How shocked must he have been that this random girl he never even spoke to, whose name he’s probably forgotten, go to such lengths to show kindness to someone who wasn’t from her district?
More than anything, he looks so *young.* His eyes are large and expressive—his face is soft, still retaining a little baby fat. Throughout the book, Katniss categorizes her fellow tributes as potential threats first and foremost—she often describes Thresh as a stoic, unflinching powerhouse, but then you see this and you’re taken aback. Because this? This isn’t the calculating, powerful predator we’ve been expecting. This is very clearly a *child.* A *boy*, who’s been ripped from his home to fight to the death in an arena for the entertainment of the ruling class. Who probably got his strength from climbing trees, hauling sacks of grain, collecting food. Who was so deeply impacted by the death of his district partner that just the suggestion from another girl’s mouth that she had killed her sent him into a rage. Who, in the books, refused to interact with or fight any of his fellow tributes until he heard Clove talking at the feast.
You start wondering—did he ever want to kill anyone? Like Peeta, did the idea of the Capitol turning him into a killer make him sick? Like Reaper, was it a refusal to play into the hands of the Capitol? Like Katniss, did the fact alone that he had killed leave its own horrible mark? Did he spend his final nights jumping awake as he relived Clove’s skull caving under the rock? When the mutts finally came for him, do you think he hesitated when he saw the tributes’ eyes staring back?
This is a *kid.* They’re all just *kids.* And that’s what fucks me up so much about this picture of Thresh—that it’s not just a depiction of him, but of all the tributes who have ever competed in the Hunger games. That no matter how they are reframed as victors and monsters and killers and spectacles, at the end of the day they were all children. Boys and girls forced to fight each other to the death, while their true enemies watched on, laughing.
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grimsonandclover · 5 months ago
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Write write write
filthier the better
Sending all the love 🫶🍑
What He's Made For
Sub!Patrick Zweig x Dom!Fem!Reader
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Eeuuuhhhhhh I'm sorry, just been thinking a LOT about just having enough of Patrick's shit and taking it out on him. Turns out, it's exactly what he was aiming for.
I'm writing this in a horny, ovulation-fueled daze so it's not going to be great or even good but its what I need. not proofread at alllll
consider this a foreplay part one since it ends abruptly because i need to post this before i pass out (im so tired). i need the horny freaks of this fandom to let me know if a part two is desired because I WILL write it
MDNI
1.1k words
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This is entirely self serving and I'm opening up to you guys. This is me sharing. No more 600 word angst and fluff it's time for PERSONAL FANTASIES. kind of a 180 after i JUST posted that little la chimera fic lmao
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You're fighting, you don't even know what for. Patrick's been pushing your buttons, getting on your nerves, and testing your limits all night. God, fuck, he won't stop. Every little word from him, all day and now night, is spoken with the pure intention of pissing you off.
"Did you really ask him about the weather?" He'd scoff on the drive home from a party. "You're miserable at small talk. Really, it's embarrassing."
The walk to the apartment elevator: "And those shoes. You've been whining all night like a fucking baby. I told you not to wear them, but you'd rather be a prissy little princess than listen to me." You're silent, breaths quickening as your fist clench around your apartment keys in the elevator, watching the floor numbers tick up. "They're ugly, anyway. I don't really get why you insist on wearing them."
Unlocking the front door, fumbling and struggling because it's hard to see through the boiling water behind your eyes. "Do you need help with that? You had, like, what- one shot of tequila the entire party? Didn't think you were such a lightweight, can't even open a door. God, you're a mess."
Once the door is open, and a sickly smug smirk is plastered on that stupid face of his, you shove him in. The action is abrupt and unexpected, Patrick stumbling back and catching himself on the entryway wall. You almost miss the smirk returning to his lips. Who cares, it's time to speak your peace.
His back is on the wall and he stays where you threw him as you rip off your coat. "What the fuck is your problem, huh?" The coat is thrown to the floor and he blinks as you fist the collar of his stupid button up. Since when does he wear these, anyway? "All fucking night, you're in my ear like a bitch. Do you need a leash?"
He's been playing with fire so far. "Woof." Patrick grins.
The taunt makes your eyes narrow and glare harden. "You think it's funny? I've got a migrain because of it. I'd be in the middle of talking to someone and you'd start your shit again. That's what's embarrassing, not my small talk."
"You're like a child, how you beg for my attention. A dog. Is that what you are, Patrick?" You tug his collar and his breath catches. Drool pools in his mouth and he swallows, eyes zeroed in on his mouth while he still smirks. "Are you a misbehaving dog?"
He doesn't answer you, just giggles. In a sudden move, your hands are on his shoulders and you're pushing him forcefully to his knees. It's only because he doesn't anticipate it that it works. In a flash, your hand is gripping a fistful of curls at the back of Patrick's head, yanking it to make him look up at you. His mouth falls open, a soft gasp escaping from it. Yes. Finally.
"Are you," The words are spoken through your teeth, and this time he really is on the brink of drooling. "A fucking dog? Or are you going to start behaving like a man?"
His grin spreads again from ear to ear as Patrick slowly shakes his head. "Uh-uh."
Oh, that does it.
Your fingers tug his head further back and he gasps again at the slight sting of his scalp. Your other hand comes up, and before he can blink, a crack is heard through the entryway.
Patrick's cheek is red and stings so badly he can't feel the pain on his scalp anymore. It's so delicious he moans. He never knew until this exact moment that he liked to be slapped, lucky you.
"Wrong answer." He shivers at your tone, the blood in his body rushing to his cheek and to his dick. "Are you going to behave?"
"No." He whispers, eyes fluttering as he anticipates the next stri-
Oh, fuck. Patrick can feel a wet patch form in his boxers when you do it again-- he hasn't cum in five days, and Patrick's hyper aware of it now. The sound that comes from his mouth is almost pornographic and anyone else listening would swear that he must be at least getting his dick sucked and not just slapped around. The hand that slaps him moves to his mouth, index and middle finger shoved forcefully until you hit the back of his tongue. He wants to suck them, so he does, but then you shove them even further back until he gags a little. This isn't for him to enjoy (though he is anyway).
"Shut the fuck up." You sneer, fingers in his throat and hair, taking back the power he's had over you all night. They way he looks on his knees, peering up at you like you're his god with tears in his waterline and-- shit, that smile is still there. "I'll make you behave, then."
The hand in his hair lets go, pushing him back by the forehead till he hits the wall with a thunk. "Look at me."
He already was, but Patrick angles his head again, this time on his own, to better suit your needs-- especially when you tell him to open his mouth and you have a grip on his cheeks. You lean down the tiniest bit for better aim before collecting spit in your mouth, then spitting it into his. "My fucking mouth. Don't ruin it with all that cheap talk, acting like you don't know who owns it.
"Who owns it."
Patrick's got stars in his eyes as he swallows, so lost in you he forgets to answer-
A smack across his cheek again, another filthy moan. "You- you own it."
"Own what?"
"Me-- my mouth, my body, fucking all of it. It's yours."
"It's mine." You nod, gripping his cheeks again until his lips pucker. Patrick's drooling. "Mine. Don't use it against me, or I won't be so nice."
If this is you being nice, Patrick doesn't know what he'd be willing to do for mean. Every word you say, every tug, your spit in his mouth-- it all sends shivers of pleasure down his spine and through to his dick, aching and tenting in the shorts he wore to practice and then to a party. He truly is as filthy as you make him out to be.
You grab his hair again just to shove him in between your thighs, the material of your jeans rubbing harshly against his face and the irritated skin of his cheek. Patrick can smell you through it. He feels punch-drunk. This is what he was made for. This is his true purpose, not tennis.
His large palms slide up and down your thighs, hungry fingers begging at the button of your jeans. Off. He needs them off.
You let him peel them off you, not for him but for yourself. You need him to show you what he's actually good for. Why you keep him around.
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shittalkerxox · 1 year ago
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The only way I can rationalise people accepting literal children going out and fighting crime as Robin is if they don't think Robin is a real child.
I think it would be fun to see how Bruce would use that to his advantage in protecting his kids. Like, if people think Robin isn't human, if they instead think he's a spirit or a ghost, they are less likely to shoot at him, less likely to try and physically attack Robin because they think it would be no use.
The fun part would be deciding HOW they would do this. I like to think that Robin's domino mask doesn't have a hole for his eyes but instead is glazed over so that he can see out of it, but you can't see in. Maybe they install small lights in it so it looks like his eyes glow in the dark, because can you image how fucking scary it would be to just see these two sentient light-like eyes and just know the Batman must be lurking somewhere close by?
Maybe Bruce installs super strong magnets in their gloves because on the chance that someone does pull a gun on his kid close range, it would be a lot easier for them to grab the gun away if they had the force of magnetism on their side. Also, grabbing onto poles and other metal materials would make all the scaling on tall buildings a little safer. Obviously, they'd need a way to turn it on and off, but still. Can you imagine, you're in a warehouse and there are steel frames fucking everywhere and you look up and suddenly there's a child gripping onto one effortlessly? Horrifying.
Maybe they have a voice box. Want to scare people? Play this really ominous recording of a child's laughter that echoes just a bit too loud to be normal. Play this ominous screaming that seems too silent to be real. Play this ticking that seems to never end that induces stress and increases the chance of them messing up.
What would be even funnier is keeping this act up with the Justice League and other teams.
Batman doesn't bring Robin to these meetings at the beginning because he sees no need to involve a preteen in such matters, but at some point the subject does come up and it's sort of like; So, Bats, what exactly is the kid? Like...is he yours?
And Bruce (paranoid as fuck) doesn't want to admit to these people that yes, Robin is my son because hello? That's gotta be his biggest weakness, he would do anything to keep that kid safe and fuck them if they ever tried to hurt him to get to Bruce.
So, he tells them that he's a spirit sent to haunt him and remind the city of it'd failures and the Justice League just... believe him?? Because this is Batman, and why would Batman ever lie about something so, frankly, strange? And it's not a huge deal, like they're a team comprised of metas and aliens and literal godesses, so what if the one normal human guy has a weird little ghost child? Who cares if he cares about it like it's a real boy? Maybe the baby spirit has rights, too!! They don't know!
So, when the JLA gets more popular and becomes an actual, legal part of the American government, they're required to list all of their members. And they class Batman as a human, because that's obvious but next to Robin, they don't really know what to say or how to ask Batman about it, ao they just put "Unknown Child Spirit - TBD"
And then just... never change it?
So, they don't question why a few years later Robin seems to look entirely different, or why after that he changes again, or why Robin is suddenly a girl for a while before going back to a little boy. That's obviously just some weird spirit thing they don't understand, and it's not like Batman is going to explain it!
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i2rizz · 2 months ago
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Thank you for answering my requests. They always crack me up!
Reader, Kaiser, Rin & Isagi are playing UNO. Who wins best of three? Who ends up with the most cards? Who targets who with the draw fours? Do they even finish the game before a fight breaks out?
Uno Or UFC?
Im glad!! But this request is so good ngl ur always so creative🙏 tho the positions of the players or their turns maybe wont make sense bc yeah..
Kaiser, rin, isagi
|masterlist
->|masterlist #2
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•Who wins best of three?
You. Somehow, against all odds. Kaiser swears it's rigged.
• Who ends up with the most cards?
Rin. He refuses to ask for mercy and keeps drawing until his deck resembles a small novel.
• Who targets who with the Draw Fours?
° Kaiser targets you because he's a menace.
° Isagi aims for Kaiser out of pure spite.
° You team up with Isagi against Kaiser.
° Rin doesn't care-he slams them down on everyone
•Do they even finish the game before a fight breaks out?
Absolutely not. Kaiser and Rin start arguing about game mechanics, Isagi is yelling, and you're just sitting there, sipping your drink, enjoying the chaos.
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It had started as a simple, friendly game night. But when you throw four hypercompetitive people into a match of UNO, "friendly" isn't in the vocabulary anymore.
You sat on the floor, knees folded beneath you, casually sipping your drink. Across from you sat Isagi, already looking like he was strategizing an entire playbook. Rin, arms crossed, examined his cards with an unreadable expression, while Kaiser lounged back on the couch like he owned the place.
Kaiser smirked, shuffling the deck with way too much confidence. "Let’s make this interesting. Loser has to do whatever the winner says."
Rin scoffed. "Not happening."
"You're just afraid you'll lose, Rin-chan," Kaiser taunted.
Rin’s death glare could have set the room on fire. Isagi, meanwhile, cracked his knuckles. "Enough talking. Let’s play."
---
Round One
The game started off relatively calm—until Kaiser hit you with a +4.
"Really?" You raised a brow.
He grinned, resting his chin in his hand. "Call it a love tap, Schatz."
Isagi immediately retaliated by slamming down another +4. On Kaiser.
"Are you actually out of your mind?" Kaiser gawked.
Isagi shrugged. "You started it."
Rin, without a hint of remorse, stacked another +4 on Kaiser.
Kaiser blinked at the absolute betrayal. "You too?!"
"You talk too much," Rin muttered.
Meanwhile, you somehow played your cards right—literally—and pulled off a miracle win. The table went silent for a moment.
Kaiser pointed an accusatory finger at the deck. "This game is rigged."
Isagi was fuming. "How the hell did you win?!"
You simply shrugged, sipping your drink. "Maybe I’m just built different."
---
Round Two
Kaiser, still salty, made it his life’s mission to target you. Every skip, reverse, and +2 he had went directly in your direction.
"You’re acting like a child," you deadpanned.
Kaiser smiled innocently. "Am I? I hadn’t noticed."
Isagi, fed up, once again aimed every attack card at Kaiser. The real tragedy, however, was Rin.
His refusal to surrender led to him drawing card after card, his deck growing into a small novel.
Isagi eyed his pile. "Dude, just stop drawing."
"I don’t need your advice." Rin kept going.
Kaiser smirked. "Wow, Rin-chan, even your deck is as cold as you are."
Rin threw a +4 at him so fast Kaiser barely saw it coming.
---
Round Three
By this point, alliances were clear:
You and Isagi were working together against Kaiser.
Kaiser was out for blood.
Rin was a wildcard, throwing +4s at everyone just for existing.
Tensions rose when Rin was down to one card. Just when he thought he had it in the bag, Kaiser reversed the turn order, forcing him to wait.
Then Isagi slammed a +4 down.
Then you skipped him.
Rin’s eye twitched. "You’re all dead to me."
It all came crashing down when Kaiser and Rin started arguing over whether stacking +4s was legal.
"That’s not how the rules work," Rin muttered.
Kaiser threw his hands up. "It is literally written on the card, you ice-brained idiot."
"Say that again, blondie."
Isagi was yelling about unfair plays, Kaiser was laughing like a maniac, and Rin was two seconds away from homicide.
You? You just sat there, sipping your drink, enjoying the chaos.
They never even finished the game.
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fadingdaggerr · 6 months ago
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first of all, your writing? phenomenal. absolutely obsessed with the way you portray everything. I've always struggled with being able to picture what I read, but the way you write makes it surprisingly much easier.
second, if you are open to it, could you maybe write a melissa/reader fic inspired by the song "Dessert Rose" by Lolo Zouaï? I listened to it for the first time in a minute the other day and have not been able to stop thinking about a melissa schemmenti fan fic to this song.
be my protector
pairing: melissa schemmenti x gn!reader
summary: request above, based on desert rose by lolo zouaï | 5.5 k
includes: angst, hurt/comfort, so much dialogue oops, r is scary dog privilege, slightly ooc mel
warnings: homophobia, religious themes/iconography, themes of guilt/shame
italics are flashbacks | st. rita - matron saint of impossible causes
translations: faccia di culo (assface), dolcezza (sweetness), cogliona (stupid)
note: this song is about a fight between identity and faith. however, i know legit nothing about catholicism since i was raised pagan, so if my info is wrong im sorry.
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You’d forced yourself to spend a few nights apart so you could finish your own work, always too distracted by Melissa’s presence to even think. Three days at your own apartment was torture, but the motivation worked as planned. A little smile crosses your lips as you look at the Go Away mat, playing with your keys under the porch light until you find the one with the pink dot of Melissa’s nail polish.
Before you even get the key in, the door swings open to Jacob, shaking like a geriatric chihuahua, “oh thank God you’re here tonight.”
Ridding yourself of your jacket and shoes, you chuckle, “you made me sync our calendars, you knew I’d be here. Where’s Mel?”
He knocks his head to the side, “pacing and muttering in the kitchen. I interrupted and got called a ‘faccia di culo,’ but I think that’s a type of bread.”
“Not even close,” you say, patting his shoulder. Moving past him, you lean against the doorway of the kitchen. Eyes closed, Melissa mutters to herself as she walks back and forth. Nails of one hand dig into her side through her shirt, knuckles white from the pressure. The other hand fiddles with her saints, rubbing them between her fingers. Flushed cheeks puff with each breath, clearly trying to calm herself down.
Walking in, you seat yourself at the island, letting her come to you. A sigh passes her lips, telling you that she knows about your presence. After a beat, her pacing stops, and your hand reaches out to take away the harsh grip from her side. She tries to shake your hand away, but you insist. 
Letting you this time, she keeps her eyes closed as you gently massage the tension out of her fingers. Green eyes crack open, looking drained and still lingering with anger. Entwining your fingers, you pull her to stand between your legs. Bringing her hand up, you press a kiss to soft skin, a quiet plea to know what happened.
The shake of her head is a stern not-right-now. Entirely not calm enough to speak without yelling, her head just drops to your shoulder. You lean your head against hers, squeezing the hand laced in yours. Her weight rests completely on you after a moment, letting your arms wrap around her to keep her upright. The hand clenched at her sides relaxes, coming to rest on your thigh. Scratching up and down her back, you feel the stiff breaths fade, replaced with deep sighs.
Coming to hold her hip, you push her back from you. Nodding up, you silently ask her to go upstairs. Melissa squints at you, a silent rejection of your treatment. Cocking your head to the side, you raise your eyebrows in a silent plea.
Green eyes speak for her, I’m not a child.
Just let me take care of you, yours say back.
With a heavy breath, she pulls back from you. Trudging from the kitchen, she completely ignores Jacob’s wide gaze that follows her. Loud thuds of her footsteps go upstairs, with you trailing behind her. You look to her roommate, giving him a thumbs-up as you make your way up.
Closing the bedroom door behind you, you move to sit next to her on the bed. “You don’t have to tell me what’s bothering you,” you start softly. “All I need to know is if I need to break out my brass knuckles.”
Melissa lets out a dry laugh, keeping her eyes on the floor, “no, no knuckles. Just Seamus. He invited me- us- to dinner at his place. This weekend.”
“Okay?” You say slowly, finger pointing into your chest. The youngest Schemmenti sibling is over at least twice a month for dinner, the only you’ve met, but adore nonetheless. “Why’s that making you so… this?” You gesture to her tense posture and she gives you a sly look.
“He always comes here. The boy can’t cook, what’s he even inviting us over for?” She moves her gaze to the floor, “it’s fishy.”
You nod silently, thinking for a second. If she had ever given you a straight answer on what happened with the other siblings, this would be so much easier. Seamus is only still acceptable because he was too young to have done anything. Every time you tried to broach the topic, she’d just say they were dead to her and that it ain’t good to talk about the dead. It had been months since you tried, after she nearly broke a door off the hinge over seeing her sister in passing at the charter school. 
“Well I certainly won’t force you to go,” you start slowly, “but it’s dinner, baby.” Leaning into her, you grab her hand and lace your fingers together, “he’ll probably order some takeout, so no worries about him poisoning us. Plus you got me, I’m always on your side.”
Looking at you, Melissa scans your face as she weighs her options. A small smile toys at her lips, “how do you always do that?’’
“What?”
“Make everything better?” Melissa gives a faux pout, hand grabbing your cheeks into a smoosh.
Pulling her hand away from your face, you press a kiss to her palm, “I don’t, I’m just telling you my thoughts.” Rolling her eyes, her fingers graze your cheek again with the faintest of touches. Just as she's about to lean in, you add, “go apologize to Chicken Little, he’s probably used Google translate by now.”
Pink lips form into another pout. Raising your brows, you motion to the door. Biting her tongue, Melissa stands up and walks to the door. Just before she opens it, she strides back over to grab your face, planting a solid kiss on your lips. Turning back, she smirks to herself as she walks down the stairs.
—☽—
Melissa Schemmenti loved her family and her family loved her. Once.
Family dinner every night was always loud with so many conversations happening at the same time. Tony and Kristin Marie are always chatting about the show they watched together, John Anthony trying to recount his whole day to no one in particular, Mary Camille pestering Melissa about how they should rearrange their room again. There was a sense of peace in the white noise her family created. A comfort in the routine.
Once she was in high school, most of the family did not attend anymore. Tony was always off with his friends for days on end and Marie stayed up in her room, taking her plate silently with her. Melissa always stayed, directly at her mother’s side, holding her hand as they said grace. With every dinner, she always had to kick Kristin Marie to remind her to shut her eyes, unless she wanted to face the disgusted glint in Teresa’s eyes.
Arriving home late after tutoring, Melissa’s brows furrowed. It was so quiet in the house, eerily so. Walking towards the kitchen, she could smell the vegetable risotto, it was always her favorite. Following her nose to the table, Melissa pouted at Mary Camille in her usual seat next to their mother. The only open chair was at the very end of the table, facing only Teresa. Taking her place, she peeked up to her family, met with everyone’s eyes already on her.
Maria Christina, who was always glued to her side, was leaning away, shoulders bumping with Tony’s, who was surprisingly home. Looking at Kristin Marie, her gaze was not met. The sense of calm that had been flowing through her was ripped away. The edges of her vision frayed as the seat at the head of the table was filled. Green eyes that match hers stared back, unblinking and devoid of care.
Manicured hands rested on the table, nails tapping. The face across from hers so alike her own, it had always felt like the future peering at her through a furrowed brow. Tensing, she knew not to break eye contact.
“Melissa Ann Caterina,” her mother said, slow and acidic.
“Ma,” she answered, trying to keep her voice from shaking.
Red nails dug into the wood, “who is Bianca?”
Biting her inner lip, Melissa looked at her mother with wide, terrified eyes. Teresa stayed stoic, brows only raising slightly, still demanding an answer to her question. “I don’t know,” she mumbled.
“Your dolcezza on the swim team,” her mother spat. A small pink notebook was placed on the table, bent edges flattened. “Does this ring any bells, cogliona?”
No one knew where her diary was, other than who she shared a room with. Her eyes flicked to Mary Camille, who looked as if she’s about to cry when her hazel eyes met green. If fear wasn’t pumping through her veins, she would have strangled her sister right this very moment. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Melissa nodded in response to her mother.
“Selfish,” Teresa hissed, “everything I’ve taught you, that Father David taught you, gone. You spit in the face of blood, of God? St. Rita won’t even want you.”
“I listened,” Melissa whimpered out, voice and hands trembling alike.
“Clearly not.”
The eyes of her siblings dropped from her frame, all watching their laps as their mother yelled relentlessly. Air hurts to breathe, skin crawling, bones aching in guilt. Melissa wished she could run, but she couldn’t even move. Her shaky hand rose to her neck, grasping at her chest. The gold pendant felt like it may just burn her.
—☽—
Wild eyes shoot open, body sitting up in the bed. Heaving, she tries to catch her breath, fingers squeezing at the comforter. To her left, you’re still sleeping, facing her with a hand reaching out. Trembling, Melissa removes herself from the bed, trudging to the ensuite. Looking at herself in the mirror, she still sees that sixteen-year-old girl, puffy-eyed and red-nosed.
The walls were too familiar. Brick everywhere, plastic over the lampshade, worn down rugs faded and fused to the floor. It’s the same, it never changes. The grandfather clock ticking at the end of the hall gives away the occasion.
Forcing herself to take deep breaths, Melissa leans against the cold wall to soothe her clammy skin. Her hands splay out in front of her, tightening into fists then relaxing, attempting to rid the tension instead of punching the mirror. Tears burn her eyes but do not fall, she refuses to let them get to her again.
Always seven o’clock. Always the open seat at the end.
In bed, your hand brushes across the warm space where Melissa had been. Cracking open an eye, you pout at the empty spot. The light from under the bathroom door draws your attention, staring at it as you wait for her to come back. Flickering eyes pop open at the sound of rattled breathing from the other room.
Stumbling off the mattress, you drag yourself in front of the door. Knocking softly, you rest your forehead against smooth wood, “baby? You okay?”
“Fine, hon,” comes her muffled reply, “just go back to bed.”
“Can’t without you,” you say, more awake now. No reply comes, just the sound of her breathing, still fast. The stuttering gives away her attempt to calm herself, desperate to lessen the weight in her chest. “Let me in, Mel,” you beg quietly, fingers tracing the grain of the wooden door.
Without answering, the door opens to reveal her, wearing only your t-shirt and a frown. Fat tears cling to her lashes, her stubbornness keeping them from her cheeks. Shuffling past you, she sinks herself back on the mattress, looking at you expectantly. Joining her, you open your arms to let her curl into your side.
Burying into your neck, Melissa releases a deep breath that had been stuck in her chest since she awoke. Letting her weight rest against you, her arm wraps firmly around your middle. Twirling sections of her hair, your eyes flit across the ceiling while the gears of your mind turn.
Melissa is so glad she’s not facing you, croaking out, “was just a bad dream.”
“It’s not just a bad dream if it makes you cry, baby,” you say against her hair, pressing a kiss there. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
Shaking her head, she settles further into you. Hand dragging down, she tucks it under your shirt, splaying across your side. Pressing her lips to your neck, Melissa silently hopes that you’ll take it instead of an answer. Another kiss lands on her forehead, an acceptance.
Sleep finds you quickly, but Melissa’s mind evades it at every chance. Leaning away from you slightly, she simply watches you. The rise and fall of your chest, the way your head turned as she pulled away. Her eyes trace your face, attention catching on the slight scrunch of your brow. Guilt bubbles in her throat, hot tears stinging once again. Tucking back into your side, she places another kiss to your neck, this time an apology for making you worry.
—☽—
It’s better to not pry, no matter how much you wish you could right now. Melissa’s eerie silence has filled the morning, and you’ve found yourself thankful that Jacob fell asleep at Janine’s movie night. Sweet and well-intentioned as he is, his overactive heart might just land him with worse than an assumption of focaccia.
Rounding into the bedroom, the redhead sits at her vanity, diligently applying her eyeliner. Watching her place it down, you come up behind her to press a kiss to the crown of her head. Wordlessly, you detangle the necklaces beside her, arranging them. Moving her hair to the side, you put on the diamond her Nonna got her for her thirteenth birthday. Then her cross, silver to match the other chain. Her three golden saints finish it, matching the rings adorning her fingers.
Melissa hums a silent thanks, unscrewing her mascara. Stealing her room temperature coffee, you lean against the vanity. “You’re beautiful,” you say into the mug.
Melissa turns to you, black coated lashes on one eye, still-blonde lashes on the other. With an unamused face, she mutters, “only you think that right now.”
“Doesn’t make it any less true,” you match her quiet tone, tilting your head down to look at her through your lashes. Flicking your gaze over her, you finally realize that the sweater she wears is yours. A grin passes your lips, leaning to press another kiss to her head. Pushing off the vanity, you leave her to get ready alone, the silence making you slightly jittery.
Flopping onto the couch in the living room, you stare at the ceiling until in wait, losing yourself in your mind. Melissa’s fear about going to her brother’s was still so puzzling, clearly eating at her despite her refusal to acknowledge it to you. Just a bad dream, she had called it. As much as you didn’t believe her, and still don’t, you left it alone.
The creak of Melissa walking down the steps pulls you from your mind, sitting up to look at her over the couch. How small she looked, nervous and bundled in your ancient sweater, fiddling with the frayed edge of the sleeve. You extend your hand over the back of the couch, inviting her closer. Sitting up on your knees, you tug her into your space.
“We don’t have to go,” you say, “can just blame it on me, say I’m sick and need you to nurse me back to health. Or that I got shot, whatever works.”
A sudden laugh shoots from her lips, “oh, of course, the only two options for an excuse.”
“I went out in a blaze of glory, so sorry Seamus,” you say with a false solemn tone, bringing her hand to your heart in a double-handed clutch. “My last wish was beer and mediocre Chinese food, a shame we must miss it.”
“You’re ridiculous,” Melissa fights back giggles. “We’ll go. It’ll be fine, I’ll be fine.”
You know that she’s speaking more to herself than you, so you just nod. Freeing her hand from your grasp, Melissa shoves her feet into heeled boots. Looking over her shoulder, her expectant gaze pulls you from your seat to put on your Converse.
Grabbing the keys before she can, you pull the door open to motion for her head out before you. As you start the car, your hand hovers over the gear shift, debating if you actually leave with her so clearly stressed beside you. A soft hand falls over yours, wrapping your hand around the shift in silent permission.
A quiet drive leads you to the other end of the city, in front of a brick building with only a few cars parked on the street. Removing the keys from the engine, you get out to jog around the car, opening the door for Melissa. Green eyes scan the street, eyeing each vehicle with suspicion, but relinquishes once you wrap a steady arm around her waist.
Pressing the button with the crossed out name, knowing well of the Schemmenti habit, you wait for the buzzer. The click of the door unlocking comes, and you tug it open, holding it open for Melissa. With a deep breath, she walks in. Immediately, her hand grasps your own, almost walking behind you as you walk down to Seamus’s apartment.
Knocking is unnecessary as the youngest Schemmenti opens the door with a massive grin, “you actually came!”
You chuckle, shrugging off your jacket and grabbing Melissa’s from her, hanging them on the hooks beside you. Leaning into his side-hug, you joke, “well, I was promised sesame chicken.”
“It’ll be here, I called like fifteen minutes ago,” he says, wrapping an arm around his big sister’s shoulders. “And worry not, Melly Bean, I got a double order of crab rangoons.”
Melissa rolls her eyes at the nickname, fighting the grin on her face. Pulling from his side, she brings herself over to you, arm tucking itself around your hips. Your own goes around her shoulder, the other offering her a freshly opened beer. Immediately, she chugs half of it, not even bothering to look at your reaction of pursed lips.
The pre-game shows appear on the TV, announcers talking about star players and underdogs of the season. Leaning against your side more, Melissa tucks her head into your shoulder. Squeezing her shoulder in silent question, you feel her nod softly.
Half way through your beers, Seamus looks up from his phone, eyes staying clear of either of yours or Melissa’s eyes. Standing, he awkwardly lingers, “the- uh- the food’s here. So, I’m gonna grab the food… because it’s here. The food.” 
Your brows scrunch, looking him over. The slight shifting of his weight gives away his anxiety, as if his repetition wasn’t enough. Without really thinking, your arm wraps tighter around the redhead’s shoulders. Pushing back your skepticism, you say, “then go get it?”
“Yeah, kid. Don’t need permission, it’s your place,” Melissa’s dismissive tone makes you turn. So tuned into the game, she hadn’t picked up on his tone, let alone his tense posture. Turning quickly, Seamus nearly runs out of the room to leave the apartment. Keeping your eyes on him, you watch him take a deep breath before stepping out the door. Simmering, you turn back to the TV, unblinking gaze barely focusing. What is this little shit up to?
When the door reopens after five minutes, two voices come through it. The tension in your body finally catches up to Melissa, head flying off your shoulder so fast, you swear she could have gotten whiplash. Turning to face you, a mix of fear and anger crosses her face. Glossy lips fall into a deep frown, stern eyes in place to fight her tears.
“I knew it was a setup,” she grumbles, pulling away from you to rise from the couch, “never shoulda fucking came here.” Following behind her, you keep your space.
In the doorway of the kitchen, Melissa pauses, staring at her mother. Sensing the eyes on her, Teresa turns, judging eyes flicking over her daughter before a crocodile smile crosses her face. “My Melly,” she says, opening her arms. “Come here, let me look at you.”
Shuffling, Melissa approaches her mother cautiously with crossed arms. Stopping just outside her grasp, she asks, “did you make him do this?”
“It was him that asked me if I wanted to see you,” Teresa says. “I’m guessing he didn’t tell you?”
“He left that part out,” Melissa says, nails digging into her skin through her sweater. “What even got you here?”
“I can’t want to see my daughter?” The only reply the question gets is a raised brow. Teresa caves, “he said you had a new boyfriend. Well, partner, like the younger kids are saying now. But I wanted to meet him anyway, he here?”
The sigh that passes Melissa’s lips can be felt from your spot around the corner. It was her telling you to get over to her, forcing the bandaid off. With all your strength, you school your features, keeping the daggers from going to Seamus. A smile crosses your lips, sticking your hand out and introducing yourself, “nice to meet you.”
“And you,” Teresa says, eyes fighting a squint. The expression is so similar to Melissa’s that it makes you pause. Retracting your hand, step back next to Melissa. Green eyes meet their match, and the staredown between mother and daughter feels as though it may start a fire.
“Food’s ready to eat,” Seamus says through his voice cracking, “grab whatever you want.”
“Thank you, Seamus,” you say with a sickly sweet smile, stalking towards him to make plates for you and Melissa. Stepping back as you get closer, he keeps the island between you and him, moving when you move. Your eyes flick to Melissa, watching her wide eyes stare at the floor as she seats herself at the end of the island. Pushing her plate over to her, she silently accepts it, waiting for you before she starts eating.
The silence over the table is deafening, somehow reverberating off brick walls. Seating yourself next to Melissa, you push around sesame chicken until someone else takes a bite. Across the table, opposite of Melissa, sits her mother, twirling lo mein with precision. It’s a one sided stalemate, Melissa’s eyes never leaving her plate.
A scoff from Teresa echoes in the room, all eyes turning to her. “Seriously?”
Green eyes stay on the rangoons, “what, Ma?”
“You do this to me again?” The acid in her tone makes Melissa’s eyes squeeze shut. The more her mother speaks, the tighter they get, stars appearing behind her eyelids.
It feels the same. The brick walls. The long table separating them. No one touching their food. The way Seamus’s eyes falter when he tries to look at her. It’s as if the universe is hellbent on her repeating this moment. Black seeps in the edges of her vision, crackling and dense. Her mother’s voice feels like it’s in her head, like it never left. All the warmth in Melissa’s body sits in the center of her chest, fire burning beneath her pendants.
“Again and again, you defy everything I’ve taught you,” her mother continues. “I thought this little game was done, but of course not. Not for you.”
The anger bubbling inside you begins to spill, white knuckles gripping the edge of the table. Mask dropping, the disdain for the woman in front of you palpable. Whether it's your grip or Melissa’s shaking that vibrates the tables, you can’t be bothered to care.
“I prayed and prayed, begging for St. Rita to help you, to give you a chance. But you’re longer just a lost cause, you’re an abomina-”
“Lady, shut your fucking mouth!” You bark, standing up. Leaning forward on your hands you seeth, “you do not speak to her that way. Ever!”
Melissa’s eyes fly from her plate to you, brows practically meeting her hairline. Scanning over you, she can see the anger seeping from you. It’s unlike any other time she’s seen you mad, you’re beyond seething. Your name passes her lips, trying to get you to stand down, but her voice fails her.
Teresa rises from her seat, “you do not get to speak. You are not part of this family.”
“I’m not part of your family, thank God. But Melissa, she’s my family. And I don’t like people fucking with my family.”
The glare she gives you, it's so similar to Melissa’s once again. The thought alone makes a small smirk cross your face, looking at her like you’re daring her to try you. A face so similar to Melissa’s could never intimidate you, even if it’s worn by someone who hates you.
“If you have anything else to say,” you step closer, “you say it to me. Not her.”
“Okay-” Seamus tries to cut in and defuse the tension. Both you and Teresa turn to look at him with equal warning, immediately putting him back in his seat. Looking back at each other, the older woman points a finger at you.
“My daughter rejected her family, her God. And now, she’s burying herself deeper with encouragement from you,” she spits, lips curling in anger.
Stepping closer again, you meet her pointing hand. Voice low, you duck into her space, “was it her that rejected you, or you that rejected your daughter?”
Turning away, you join Melissa’s side, and hand wrapping around her bicep. A gentle tug pulls her from her seat, walking her to the door. Grabbing her coat, you wordlessly place it around her, avoiding her eyes. Shrugging on your own coat, you announce into the apartment, “feel free to not come by next week, Seamus.”
Opening the door, you motion for Melissa to walk out first, feeling her stern gaze on you. Silence in the hall follows you to the car. The second the radio begins to play, Melissa turns it off, just staring at you as you start the car and begin to drive home. Mouth agape, her words falter. Flicking to the steering wheel, she watches you flex your hands against the leather, desperate to smother the fire inside you.
Her eyes never leave you until you pull into her driveway, immediately throwing herself out of the car and climbing up the steps. Pausing at the door, she groans, knowing you have the keys. Stepping in, you both stay quiet as you take off your shoes and jackets.
Trudging up the stairs, Melissa follows you. Neither of you speak as you change into your pajamas, nor as you get in bed. Facing away from you, Melissa stares unblinkingly at the outline of her dresser. Turning to face her back, you watch her breathing, seeing the stuttering in the rise and fall. Leaning forward, you press a tentative kiss to her shoulder.
“I love you,” you whisper, patiently waiting for her echo. All you get is a little hum, and her face burying into her pillow.
—☽—
Heavy eyelids crack open as sleep crumbles away. Instinctively, you look to the side, seeing Melissa still sleeping beside you. Curled in on herself, she seemed to have shuffled further away from you before falling asleep. The thought alone makes you look away, turning to the clock. Only six in the morning, on a Sunday no less. Sighing softly, you roll out of bed, blindly grabbing a sweatshirt from the chair in the corner. Quietly as possible, you walk out of the room, sure to avoid the creaky floorboard right outside the door. Slowly moving down the stairs, you round into the kitchen.
Feeling too lazy to bother with the French press, you scoop grounds into the coffee maker. As the pot sputters, you reach above to the cupboards for three mugs. Part of you hopes that Jacob doesn’t come down for a while, leaving space for you and Melissa to talk when she finally gets up. The other part sort of hopes he does, that way you can delay whatever this conversation will be.
Stirring your coffee, you hear the door of the bedroom open, slow steps coming towards the kitchen. Hearing the familiar shuffle in her steps, you make Melissa's coffee, adding sugar to hers unlike your own. Leaning against the counter, you hold it out the moment she enters the room.
  Taking it with an averted gaze, she gives a slight hum in thanks. Resting against the butcher block, she finally looks at you. Fading mascara and eyeliner crumbles around her eyes, lips no longer glossy. Even if she wouldn’t agree, she’s achingly beautiful. Her tired eyes are just as hard to read as usual, too many thoughts circulating behind jade.
A moment of silence falls over the space, both of you sipping out of your mugs in contemplation. Melissa places her mug down first, breaking the tension. Tilting her head, she prompts you to speak first.
“I’m sorry,” you say softly, placing your mug on the counter next to you. “I shouldn’t have yelled- or swore- at her.”
“No,” she mutters, “you shouldn’t have. But why did you?”
Feeling your face warm a little, you look down at the floor, eyes tracing the grain of the wood. “For the same reasons I said. You’re my family, I love you,” your fingers flex against the marble counter. “And hearing her talk to you like that, I couldn’t just sit there. Even if she’s your mother.”
“I love you, too. And how much you love me,” Melissa says. Stepping closer to bring your attention back to her, her brow raises as she speaks, “and you need to keep your temper in check, especially if shit like that ever happens again.”
Scanning her face, you can see that the lingering anger from last night is entirely gone. There’s something close to appreciation, and a hint of warning with her cocked brow. Pursing your lips to keep from grinning, you just nod.
A hand releases from the counter, drawing an X over your heart, “no brass. Real or metaphorical, promise.”
“Good,” Melissa mumbles with a smile growing on her lips. Grabbing your wrist, she hauls you towards her. Soft lips press against your own, slow and gentle. Pushing into her, you back her into the butcher block, hands locked on her hips. Your tongue glides across her lips, immediately let in. Delighting in the sighed moan that follows, you smile against her. Her hands slide up your arms to cup your face, keeping you close as she deepens the kiss.
Eager fingers slip underneath her shirt, gripping warm skin. Goosebumps rise up your neck as Melissa’s nails dig into you ever so slightly. Just as your hands move to her thighs, ready to sit her on the counter, fast steps descend the old staircase. Jumping apart, you fix Melissa’s shirt, rolling your eyes at the interruption. Grabbing your mug, you press a kiss to her cheek before shuffling back upstairs to shower.
When you come back down, Melissa has migrated to the couch, sprawled across as she watches whatever was on. Rolling over the back, you carefully drop on top of her. With a quiet oof, her arms wrap around you loosely, letting you get comfortable. Tucking into her shoulder, your eyes linger on her neck, tracing the chains. Your hand comes up to fiddle with the saints, thumb brushing over in indented designs. They’d become faded, time and her anxious rubbing of the metal taking the impression away.
Feeling your attention, Melissa peeks down. Her own hand comes to single them out.
“This one’s from Nonna,” she says softly. “Mary, basically every little girl gets this one. And this one’s from Barb, John Baptist,” her thumb brushes over it, “he’s for teachers.” She pulls up the last one, the least degraded of the three, “and this one’s Raphael. Healing.”
You hum, fingers more so tracing her skin than medal anymore, “who’s he from?”
“Myself,” she says coyly. “Kinda against the rules, they’re normally gifted, but…”
You press a kiss to her shoulder, cuddling into her further, “rules, shmules. Intention is what matters. At least I assume it is.”
Melissa doesn’t answer, just tightens her grip around you. Tears fight to fall down her cheeks, and she lets them silently go. So free and comfortable in this moment, with no separation between either part of who she is. It has taken her so long to allow herself the duality, to strip away the bits of her faith that didn’t allow her to simply live. With the family she’s built herself, her Abbott people and now you, there is no choice that must be made.
note: thank you sweet anon for the compliments, they mean the world. this was genuinely one of the hardest reqs i have had because i didn't know this song previously. i went down a rabbit hole to understand the meaning and find a way to incorporate themes of the verses and chorus. thank god for my christian family for giving me something to pull from /s
as always, feedback is greatly appreciated. love you big time xo
149 notes · View notes
angels-fantasy · 1 year ago
Note
hi!! i really like your work and i was wondering if you could do like a katsuki bakugou x reader where bakugou is putting the reader at risk of being harmed because of her being one of his loved ones and then bakugou purposely fights with the reader and then just walks out on her thinking it’s for the better and then a couple weeks later the reader finds out she’s pregnant and keeps the child a secret for a couple years until she runs into bakugou and then he wants a do-over or something like that 🥹
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Second Chances (Request)
Katsuki Bakugou x Fem!Reader
Details/Warnings: CW: Pregnancy Cw: Children, some angst, domestic fluff, dad bakugou, also soft bakugou hahaha.
Word Count: 2.9k
this idea is SOOOO cute i love it sm and it was really fun writing this. i hope i did your idea justice!! thank you sm for requesting anon :D i literally got so excited when i saw it got a request hehehe
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Getting with Katsuki Bakugou was a dream come true. You two had been through thick and thin, and you had it all. Great jobs, a home together, and a strong relationship. Everything seemed perfect in your eyes, until one day Katsuki decided it wasn't enough for him.
Well, it was enough for him. It was more than enough actually. He loved you with all his heart and wanted a future with you, but doing that would put you at risk.
Ever since he was a little boy and dreamed of being a hero, he was warned of the risks the job came with. Not only would he be in great danger, but his loved ones too.
For a long time he believed he was strong enough to take on the world and every villain it had, no matter the threats they made towards him.
In his entire career, no villain had ever threatened a loved one of his, until recently. A damned villain had brought you up in the midst of the fight, spewing all kinds of bullshit he'd do to you that Katsuki would never want to even imagine.
For the first time in a long time, Katsuki reached a breaking point.
The disgusting things that villain said about you made him realize that he couldn't continue putting you in danger like this, so he had to find a way to end things.
He knew you wouldn't accept the real reasoning behind the break up, so he had to come up with something else.
You sat across the kitchen table from Katsuki with tears filled in your eyes. Seeing you like this hurt him more than ever, but he had to stay strong.
"How could this not be enough for you Katsuki?" You cried, "How could I not be enough for you?"
He looked down at the table to avoid your broken expression, "How else am I supposed to fuckin' say it huh? I don't wanna be with you anymore."
You shook your head, "Stop looking at the table and look at me when you say that. If you can look me in the eyes and tell me you really don't want to be with me, then you can leave."
It took everything left in Katsuki to lift his head up and look you in your eyes. He tried his best to put on a poker face, but you both knew it wasn't working.
"I don't want to be with you anymore."
Your face scrunched up slightly as you held back tears. "Okay Katsuki. If that's what you really want."
...
Having to hear Katsuki move out of your apartment was just another reminder of your relationship crumbling right before you, and it felt like the end of the world.
You don't know how long you laid in bed crying silently, but suddenly you heard Katsuki's voice from the door of your bedroom.
"I'm leaving now." He said quietly.
You played with a thread on the pillow next to you, choosing to ignore him.
He shuffled awkwardly at your silence. "Um, Bye. I guess."
"Bye Katsuki." You said quietly.
You stayed quiet until you heard the front door shut behind him, then you let yourself cry.
...
It was almost two months later, and you were starting to feel a bit better about the break up. It was hard sometimes, but you had a good support system and kept yourself busy.
Now though you were feeling better emotionally, you weren't really feeling well physically.
When you confided in your best friend about this, she told you words you really didn't want to hear.
"Maybe you're pregnant?" Uraraka suggested after hearing your symptoms.
You shook your head, "No way! And if I am, that's horrible! I can't raise a baby by myself. That's a two person job..."
She stayed quiet, now feeling a bit awkward when she remembered the messy breakup between you and Katsuki.
"I'd be here for you, you know that right?" She said and wrapped her arms around you. "I should have a few tests in my bathroom, do you wanna go take some?"
You bit your lip in thought. "I dunno. I'm scared."
She leaned her head on your shoulder, "I'll be with you every step of the way. You're my best friend okay? You should take the test sooner than later so that way if you are pregnant, you can start taking care of yourself and the baby."
You leaned your head on hers, "You're right. I'll do it."
Moments later after peeing on three sticks and looking at the results, you felt your heart drop to your stomach.
You opened the door and faced Uraraka, who was pacing in anticipation.
"Well? What does it say?!" She asked.
You held up one of the tests, "Looks like I gotta start eating for two."
...
5 years later
After finding out you were pregnant five years ago, you decided you weren't going to tell Katsuki. Maybe it was wrong, but you didn't care.
He had made it very clear he didn't want to be with you anymore, and you weren't going to hold him back from whatever plans he had.
You had also decided it'd be a good idea to move out of Musutafu, at least an hour away from him and anyone else that knows him. You didn't want the word of you having his child spreading around and eventually reaching him.
The only person you told were your parents and Uraraka, who promised she'd keep it a secret from Katsuki and everyone associated with him. The two of you kept in touch and she would occasionally visit you when she wasn't busy with hero work.
So now here you were with your 4-year old little girl, Keiko. She had some of your features, but of course her father's genes overshadowed yours despite him not even being in the picture.
The biggest resemblance between them was their eyes, which you hated temporarily, but grew to love again because of her.
"Mama! Mama!" Keiko called from the top of the slide, "Come play with me!"
You stood up from the bench with a sigh and made your way over to the bottom of the slide. "Okay Koko but be careful up there! I don't want you to get hurt."
She shook her head and scrunched up her face, "I'm strong! I don't get hurt Mama!" and then slid down to meet you at the bottom.
Once she got there, she slid into your legs and got surprised at the light impact but giggled anyways.
You reached down and picked her up, "What are you laughing at huh Koko?" You asked and tickled her.
She continued laughing her little heart out and you smiled at her, loving to see your daughter in such a good mood.
A few hours later, you found yourselves at the grocery store, shopping for new snacks Keiko could take to school.
You held up a pack of yogurt cups to your daughter, who was sitting in the basket.
"You want some of these baby? They have blueberry and strawberry flavor."
"I want blueberry!" She said.
You nodded, "Good choice."
The two of you continued shopping around for a few more minutes, until you felt your heart stop.
Down the same aisle, you saw none other than Katsuki Bakugou.
Just as you tried to quickly turn around, your precious child couldn't help but yell -
"Dynamight!"
Groaning in frustration at your daughter, though you knew it wasn't her fault (He just so happened to be her favorite hero, despite not even knowing he was her father), you tried your best to keep walking away but it was already too late.
You heard him yell out your name, and you quickly grabbed Keiko, abandoning the shopping cart in the process and you began making your way out of the store as fast as you could.
Katsuki, who noticed you and your daughter, did the same and began following you.
Once you were outside, you looked over your shoulder and called out, "Get away from me!
Keiko fussed in your arms at your loud voice, wondering what was happening and why her mother was running away from a hero.
Finally getting to your car, Katsuki was hovering over you as you put your daughter in her car seat.
"Is she mine?" He asked, out of breath from walking fast.
"No."
"You think I'm an idiot or somethin'?" He asked, "She looks just like me and you expect me to believe that?"
You kissed Keiko on the forehead, "I'm gonna talk to the crazy man real quick okay baby? Just wait here."
She nodded and played with her fingers. You shut the door and leaned against it, facing Katsuki.
"Leave us alone. I don't want anything to do with you, okay?" You said sternly, trying not to cry.
His eyebrows furrowed, "When we ended things... were you pregnant?"
You stayed quiet for a moment before answering.
"I didn't find out until a month later."
He let out a breath and put his hands on his face. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me? I would've been there for you, even if we weren't together."
His words angered you, "Why does it take me being pregnant for you to think about being there for me? I still needed you there when you left, but you wanted nothing to do with me!"
"I had to do it! You don't understand, okay?" He yelled.
You put a finger in his face, "Stop raising your voice at me like that. Keiko can probably hear you."
He grew quiet, "Her name is Keiko?"
"Yeah."
He looked at the ground, "Can I get to know her more? Please. There's no way I can live my life knowing I have a kid that I'm not there for."
You felt a tear slip down your cheek. "Okay, fine. I'll give you my number and we can talk about the details later."
"Thank you." He sighed, "Thank you so much. I'm gonna do my best for her, and for you too."
"This isn't about me."
"I don't care. It's what I want to do. It's what I need to do."
"Just give me your phone so I can put my number in."
He fished his phone out of his pocked and unlocked it, handing it to you. While you added your contact, he asked "What does she like? I want to get her something."
"Well she likes heroes, her favorite animal is a seal, and she likes crowns, because she wants to be a king." You said with a smile.
"Not a queen?" He smirked.
You shook your head. "Nah, she says 'king' sounds cooler."
He laughed, "That's definitely my kid."
...
After the accidental meet up with Katsuki, Keiko asked a million questions but you answered as if you didn't know him, and eventually she lost interest.
You decided not to tell anyone about what happened, just incase he decided to leave again. You also didn't want to tell Keiko yet, because you didn't want her to grow attached to him.
She knew her father wasn't in the picture, but she didn't fully understand why yet. You would explain it to her when she got older and grew more curious about who he is.
You had also found out why Katsuki was in your city, and apparently it was because he was visiting some family members (by force of his mother).
It was now a few days later, and you and Katsuki decided to meet up, along with Keiko. You wanted to meet him in public, but he said that was a bad idea because he'd get recognized, so you reluctantly agreed to allow him into your home.
"Keikooo" You cooed, "We have a visitor today."
She looked up from her toys and brushed her hair out of her face, "Who Mama?"
Just then, the doorbell rang. "There he is! Do you wanna go open the door?"
She nodded and skipped down the hall and to the front door, looking back at you for the okay before opening the door.
When she did, she gasped "Dynamight! What are you doing at my house?"
Katsuki laughed, "I came to see you and your Mama, if that's alright with you little lady."
She smiled and opened the door wider, allowing him to walk in. "What's in that bag, Dynamight?"
"It's actually something for you." He said and handed it to her.
She squealed and dragged the large bag behind her to the couch, where she quickly dug inside of it and pulled out a large seal plushie with a crown on it.
"It's a king seal!" She said in awe.
You smiled and sat next to her on the couch, "What do you say Koko?"
She hugged the seal, "Thank you so much! I need to name him..."
Katsuki laughed and ruffled her hair, "You're welcome kid. Maybe we can come up with names later." He then handed you a small bag, from who knows where, and urged you to open it.
You raised a brow but opened it anyways. Inside, there was a jewelry box, and inside that there was a necklace with three small flowers aligned together. It was simple, but pretty.
"You didn't have to get me anything..." You said while admiring the necklace.
He shrugged, "I know, but I wanted to."
You smiled.
...
For the next few months, things continued on that way. The three of you would meet up, Katsuki occasionally bringing you and your daughter gifts no matter how many times you said you didn't want one, and actually enjoying time together.
Currently, Keiko was being carried to bed by Katsuki. She was all tuckered out from today's session of hero and villain (she was the hero, of course).
When Katsuki came back to the living room, he slumped onto the couch next to you and sighed. "Damn, that kid has so much energy."
You laughed, "Tell me about it. It was even worse when I was actually carrying her. She was a kicker."
Katsuki looked over at you, "I'm sorry I wasn't there."
You continued looking forward, "It's fine. You didn't even know, Katsuki."
He smiled slightly at you using his first name, just like he did every time you used it.
"Y'know, I was thinking-"
"Uh oh." You teased.
He tsked and continued on, "I wanna start over again."
You froze, what the hell was he saying?
"Look, I know you're hesitant to and I understand why." He said and slowly grabbed your hand, holding it tenderly in his. "But I'm being serious when I say I haven't been with anyone since you. I still love you and I always have. And now that Koko is here, I love her too and I want to be in her life everyday."
Your lip began to shake, "If you loved me, why did you leave me?"
"Baby I was being stupid. I-I got into a fight with this villain, and he threatened you. I thought that my job was putting you in danger and I didn't want to take any risks, so I broke things off."
The tears were now falling, "You're such an idiot, you know that?"
"I do know. I'm sorry." He said and stroked your cheek, "I'm so fucking sorry for hurting you and not being there for you and Keiko. But please, please let me be here now."
You cried harder and leaned into his chest, and he wrapped his arms around you. That wound he left behind all those years ago was now a scar that still hurts. But so far, being with him these last few months has eased the pain.
"I love you" You cried, "I want you to be here now. For me and for Keiko."
He let out the biggest sigh of relief in years.
...
3 years later
"Keiko! Stop putting cheese on your brother!" Katsuki yelled across the kitchen.
Your now 7-year old daughter pouted and bit into a slice of cheese, "But he likes it!"
Your son, who was a year old, laid on the floor of the living room and laughed at his sister while chewing on his fingers.
After that talk you and Katsuki had, you began seeing each other again. It was hard at first, but he proved himself to you in every way he could.
You two also told Keiko he was her father, and she was confused at first but after a long talk and even some tears, she understood and quickly accepted he was her father.
She also loved being able to say Dynamight was her dad.
She also manifested her quirk, which was of course, the same as Katsuki's. When it first manifested, there was a random boom! that came from her bedroom, and when you two ran in, she was covered in soot and her doll was blown up.
Though instead of crying, she cheered in victory, which Katsuki found extremely funny.
Now for your second pregnancy, that was a surprise, just like your first one. Despite this, you two were still happy about it and decided to move into a bigger house together.
Hiroki looked a lot like his father, of course. But this time, he had your eye color which you were thankful for considering you carried him for almost 9 months.
"Keiko why would you put cheese on Hiroki?" You asked as you walked into the living room.
She shrugged and ate another slice.
"That kid is crazy, that's why." Katsuki said.
She quickly turned around, "No I'm not! You're crazy! Poop face!"
"Hey!" You said, "Don't call your dad poop face. That's not nice."
She grumbled a 'sorry' and went back to eating the cheese slices off of Hiroki.
You smiled and shook your head at your families antics. They could be a bit much, and they had explosive personalities (literally) but you loved them either way.
Maybe second chances weren't so bad.
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authors note
this was so so fun! again, thank you for requesting 🩷 if anyone else has ideas or requests, feel free to send em!
i hope you liked this 😸
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muxshwriting · 28 days ago
Text
playing parent
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bridgerton!reader
summary: you only mean to escape for a moment before dawn, but as the dawn rises on you, being caught could be the best thing that’s happened in a while || warnings: arguing, being stressed, worry, anxiety || word count: 2078 || masterlist
taglist: @eywas-heir
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It was just a ride out into the night. It calmed you like nothing else, the sound of pure nature while the rest of the world slept. When the air was whistling past your ears and the ground flying under you, it felt like you could do anything. There was no expectation upon you, no society watching your every move. There was only the sounds of birds as they woke and the gentle glow of a soon-to-be rising sun.
Only on this morning, when you'd returned your horse to its stable and creeped back inside, the house wasn't entirely asleep.
"Where have you been?" Your eldest brother, still in his night shirt, is staring at you from the upstairs balcony. His voice is hushed but it carries.
You can't hope that he doesn't notice your riding attire, of the mud brushed across the bottom of your hem, or the fact that you're holding your riding boots behind you. "Just went for a stroll, in the garden..."
"That's rather a lot of mud for the garden." He had seen through her lie in an instant. "My study, now."
You walk to his study, frustration leaching into your steps. There will be no escaping this lecture. You don’t meet Anthony’s eyes as you take your seat opposite him, keeping your eyes on his desk.
“Do you realise how irresponsible you are?” Anthony began, “What is something happened to you?”
He’s pacing, too wound up to sit but also fighting off the exhaustion of early morning. His hands are on his hips, then running through his hair, then one resting on the desk as the other points at you.
“You disppear before dawn even breaks, no note, no escort.” His voice isn;t raised, just worried and that’s worse. “I wake up and you’re just coming home, what if everyone else woke up and you were gone?”
There’s no right way to respond to this so you just stay silent. The weight of Anthony’s disapproval settles heavily around the room.
“Look at me.”
You finally glance up, seeing the heavy set exhaustion in his eyes.
“I know this family can be a lot but we worry about you. You are not alone in this family. And you are not-“
“Sometimes I need space Anthony.” You interrupt him, your voice sharp as you have to force the words out. “Sometimes I just need to get away from everything and when I’m out riding, there’s nothing and no one there to tell me what I can do. Is that so difficult to understand?”
Anthony was back to combing through his hair, pulling at the strands. “You could’ve gotten hurt, or worse. What would I have to say to Mother?”
“I’m not a child.”
“You’re acting like it.” He pressed. “Adults talk to each other about their feelings, they sort it out logically, not by avoiding everything.”
The silence carries across the room as your eyes fall back to the desk, tears springing. You hadn’t thought what would happen if something went wrong, you just needed to get away for a brief moment. But then there’s a burning embarrassment that threatens to redden your cheeks and reveal itself.
“Are you angry about me going out riding?” You ask carefully, meeting his gaze. “Or are you angry because you didn’t notice?”
His jaw tightens. “Now that’s unfair. If you weren’t being a child before-“
“But it’s true. It’s something you’re not in control of.” Your voice is steady, calm.
Anthony’s hands fall to his sides. His voice, when he finally speaks, is soft. Tired. “You think I enjoy this? Being the one who always worries. Who’s always bracing for something to go wrong?”
“No,” you say, gentler now. “But you don’t get to be angry at me for needing a moment of peace when you give us no room to breathe.”
You both stand there for a moment, two sides of the same coin. Finally, Anthony sighs. “You could’ve told me.”
“I will next time.”
Anthony resigns and nods slowly. It’s a truce, but not quite a full solution. As he watches you leave, he knows there’s only one person who will fully make you see the sense he’s trying to impose: your mother.
Later that afternoon, you join Violet in the drawing room, her stitching lying limp in her lap. She seems very distracted when you walk in but as she meets your gaze, with measured calmness and knowing, you know she knows.
“Come sit.” She pats the seat beside her and your heart skips a beat, it’s not really a request.
She doesn’t speak right away, watching the sun bask the plants outside the window in golden rays.
“You went out riding this morning.” She slowly said, voice soft. “Not for the first time?”
You sigh, “Anthony told you? Of course he did.”
She reaches a hand to your arm. “He was worried about you.”
“He’s overreacting.” You mutter. “I’ll tell him the next time I go out…”
Violet turns to you then, her gaze sharper than her tone. “Was he? Or is that what you tell yourself so you don’t have to think about why you needed to ride out alone in the first place?”
You blink, caught off guard by the quiet precision of her words.
“I’m not angry,” she continues, voice dropping even lower. “But I am… concerned. You don’t slip away like that unless something is aching inside you.”
Your eyes fall down to your twisting hands, a movement getting all too familiar. “I just needed a bit of peace, a but of quiet. Somewhere I don’t have to justify my every action or have every action be watched.”
Violet reaches over and takes your hand, warm and light. “You are part of a very large, very loud family, my darling. I understand the need for solitude. I understand it more than you know.” Her thumb brushes over your knuckles. “But when your father died, all of you became my heartbeat. Every single one. And I dread the day one of those disappears.”
“I’m not trying to frighten anyone.” Your reply, shrinking in your seat.
“I know,” she reassures. “You do not need to earn your space in this family by being perfect. Or helpful. Or quiet. You already belong.”
That’s what finally cracks something in your chest. Not a sob. Just a small exhale, shaky at the edges.
Violet kisses your temple and pulls you in, just enough, not too tight. “Next time, maybe take someone with you? You don’t have to talk, you don’t have to ride side by side but just to have someone there to make sure you come home?”
Your eyes fall nod into her shoulder. “I will Mama, I promise.”
You find Eloise sitting cross-legged on the library floor, surrounded by a chaotic sprawl of books she probably pulled off the shelves five minutes ago and hasn’t actually opened.
She doesn’t look up as you enter. Just flips a page in the book resting on her knee and says, coolly,“So. You’ve joined the club.”
You blink. “What club?”
“The ‘I Can’t Breathe In This House So I Fled Into the Night’ club,” she says, waving a hand dramatically. “Membership: me. Formerly just me.”
You sigh and move to sit in the armchair across from her. “You heard.”
“I have ears. And a very loud brother. And a mother who made tea like someone had died.”
You chuckle despite yourself, and Eloise finally glances up, narrowing her eyes. “So what was it? Crushing weight of societal expectation? Anthony being Anthony? Existential dread?”
“All of the above.”
She hums. “Fair.”
You know, when I used to sneak out, it was different,” she says. “Everyone expected it. I’m the difficult one, the odd one. But you're the dependable one. So no one ever thinks to ask if you’re suffocating.”
You glance at her, startled by how close she’s come to the truth.
“I hated it, when I realized that,” Eloise says. “That you were disappearing in plain sight and no one noticed. Not even me.”
“It’s not your job to notice,” you say quietly.
“Maybe not. But you notice me. Every time. Every mess I make. Every letter I’m afraid to send. Every stupid little spiral I think I’m hiding well.” She pauses. “You’ve always been… safe. And I hate that we’ve made that your job.”
You open your mouth probably to deny it, or joke, or shrug it off but she cuts you off with a look.
“Don’t,” she says, sharper now. “Don’t do that. Don’t make this easier for me.”
You sit back, stunned into silence.
Then she adds, “I think we all forget that you're a person. Not just… the glue.”
You blink fast. “I didn’t realize you felt that way.”
“I didn’t either,” she admits. “But if you’re not there one morning-“
“Thanks for the guilt Eloise, gosh.”
A long pause stretches between you, but it’s not uncomfortable.
Finally, she clears her throat. “So. Next time you’re planning a midnight gallop of self-preservation… can I come?”
You blink. “You want to ride at dawn?”
“I’ll bring biscuits. You bring the existential despair.”
You laugh, and it feels like breathing again.
“Deal.”
It’s the next day when Benedict finds out, sitting in the drawing room, staring out the window at some half-dead grass. The book resting in your lap hasn’t been touched in half an hour.
Benedict doesn’t announce himself. He just walks in, calm and quiet, holding a small wooden case in one hand and a rolled-up piece of linen canvas in the other.
He stops beside you. “You look bored.”
You glance up at him, arching an eyebrow. “That’s a bold accusation.”
“It’s not an accusation,” he says easily, settling beside you on the bench. “It’s an observation. And I’d like to help.”
You eye the items in his hands. “Unless that’s a bottle of gin, I’m not sure how.”
He smirks. “Better. Paint.”
You blink. “You want me to paint?”
“No,” he says, then reconsiders. “Yes. But not in a ‘you must express your inner turmoil’ sort of way. Just… I thought you might want to try something different. Something no one else in this house expects from you.”
“Oh great, did Eloise tell you about our ‘inner turmoil’ talk? Can nothing stay a secret in this family?”
He grins. “No.”
You hesitate to even reach for his supplies. “I’ve never really painted before.”
“Even better,” he grins. “No pressure to be brilliant. Just messy.”
“You think it’ll help?”
He glances over, offering a softer smile now. “It’s not about skill. It’s about the space it gives me to be… unpolished. I thought maybe you could use a little of that too. Besides, if you get paint on the table and cry a little while pretending it’s about colour theory, no one will question you. Which is more than I can say for disappearing on horseback at dawn.”
You make a single streak across the canvas. It’s too dark, a little uneven. But something about it feels good. Tangible. Benedict doesn’t say anything more. He just picks up his own brush, and paints beside you, quiet and content, without expectation.
It’s late. The kind of late where the house has stilled, the hearths are dying down, and even the night has softened into hush. You’re still there, brush in hand, stained with colour.
Benedict’s gone to bed, but he left the supplies—didn’t pack them away, didn’t ask for the space back. He knew you’d return. The canvas in front of you is no longer blank.
It’s not a masterpiece. The colours clash in places. A few brushstrokes are too heavy, others too light. But it’s yours. And for once, it doesn’t matter what it looks like. It matters that it exists. There’s a smudge of green on your wrist. A streak of ochre under your thumbnail.
You stare at the painting—this strange, chaotic thing—and feel something unfamiliar settle in your chest.
Not peace. Not quite. But… stillness. And that’s new.
Painting might not be the god given solace that Benedict believes it is, but it could be the gateway to finding what yours will be.
Silence. Just the rustle of leaves against the glass, the soft tick of the old clock.
You exhale.
And then, without overthinking, you dip your brush into a warm shade of gold and drag your paintbrush across the canvas, adding to the chaos once more.
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dioslesbianwife · 1 month ago
Note
You know what time it is chaos time.
The jofoes partner saying the as so beautiful she wishes she could get them pregnant.
Like they helped her with something important and her saying thank you beautiful man I wish I could get you pregnant.
LMAO i would def say this to them (cause it's true) anyway totally, hope you enjoy and ty for the laugh and requesting
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Dio
He literally freezes for a second like his brain blue screens.
"…You…wish you could… get me pregnant?" He repeats it slowly, like he can’t quite believe his ears.
Then he bursts out laughing- the smug, delighted kind.
"Of course you do. I am a vision of perfection, after all."
He leans down and cups your chin, purring: "Tell me again, my dear... Tell me all the absurd little things you would do to worship me."
He's SO into it. He thinks it's hilarious and adorable and he feeds off the worship like it's oxygen.
Kars
Kars just raises an eyebrow at you at first.
"That is biologically impossible."
(Thanks, Captain Obvious.)
But when he sees your very earnest, starry-eyed expression, he actually smiles, a rare genuine one.
"You would wish to give me life? Hm... A fascinating sentiment."
Secretly? He’s absolutely preening inside. His ego is stroked SO perfectly.
He’ll teasingly remind you later, too: "Careful. Admiration like that may compel me to keep you at my side forever."
Yoshikage Kira
Kira chokes a little bit.
He's trying to help you reach something off a high shelf when you say it- and he just stops moving entirely.
"…You…you think I'm...pretty?" he says very quietly, almost stunned.
You nod seriously, and he blushes faintly, smoothing his hair back.
"That’s… very flattering."
(Internally he's screaming.)
For the rest of the day, he’s lowkey dazed and keeps sneaking glances at you like you hung the damn moon.
Diavolo
Diavolo immediately glares at you -  but it’s very obvious he’s flustered.
"Tch. Foolishness."
But also... the corners of his mouth twitch like he’s fighting a smile.
You can practically hear him replaying it in his head on loop later, brooding in his dark throne room like,
"She wishes she could impregnate me...because I am beautiful..."
He’s smug about it for DAYS.
If you bring it up again, he’ll growl, "Say it again." (But softer. And he won't meet your eyes.)
Doppio
Doppio turns BEET RED.
"H-Huh?!! You want to-  get me- pregnant? What the hell does that even mean?"
He covers his face with his hands and crouches down like he's about to explode from secondhand embarrassment.
"You think I'm that pretty...?"
You reassure him and he just lets out a tiny whimper.
For like a week straight after, whenever you compliment him, he’ll get shy and mutter "She wants to get me pregnant..." like it’s the most romantic thing anyone’s ever said to him.
Enrico Pucci
Pucci stares at you silently for a long moment.
"That… is not how biology works." He says it with a totally straight face.
But his ears are turning pink.
He tries to turn it into a theological discussion about life and creation and destiny- 
but you can tell he’s secretly flattered to hell and back.
He’s a little extra affectionate after that: lingering touches, softer voice, glancing at you when he thinks you’re not looking.
Funny Valentine
Valentine chuckles immediately.
"Such patriotic devotion to your president, my dear."
He tilts your chin up and gives you a sly, knowing smile.
"If I could be blessed with such a thing... it would be a child as beautiful and strong as its parents."
Plays along smoothly because God, he loves how much you adore him.
Will absolutely offer to get you pregnant instead.
Diego Brando
Diego does a double take like he MISHEARD YOU.
"You wanna WHAT- ??"
He’s caught somewhere between being insulted (he's not some weak thing!!) and SO smug because you think he's beautiful.
He smirks, ruffles your hair, and says, "Yeah, you’re obsessed with me. Can’t blame you."
Teases you about it nonstop after:
"Bet you'd knock me up if you could, huh? Make me your cute little trophy husband?"
(He's secretly kinda into the idea, not that he'd ever admit it.)
Tooru
Tooru grins like an idiot.
"Aww, Y/N-chan-  you think I'm that pretty, huh?"
He immediately jumps on you, pretending to faint dramatically into your arms: "Impregnate me, my goddess!!"
He plays it up so bad you’re both laughing, but then later he just looks at you, all soft and earnest:
"You're seriously too cute."
Starts using it as blackmail when he wants attention: "You SAID you wanna get me pregnant. C’mon, cuddle me."
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prankprincess123 · 2 years ago
Text
In one timeline, Zelda cries. She spends her late teenage years and young adulthood sobbing, emotionally a widow by the design of her own plans. She spends years heartbroken and mourning the Hero she loved and sent away in hopes of restoring the childhood stolen from him.
In another timeline, Zelda is confused. She thought the fairy boy who helped her save her kingdom was her friend, and that he would always be there to play with her. She spends her entire youth wondering why her Hero is so haunted, and why he can't look at her without seeming like he's about to cry.
In both timelines, the kingdom needs a Prince-Consort and an heir, not just a young Queen pining over a boy from the forest, so she agrees to an arranged marriage. She marries a man she does not love, and bears a child, and tries to be the best Queen that she possibly can.
In one timeline, her love and loss are not a secret, it becomes a common saying that the rains beginning to flood the land are a reflection of the tears their Queen sheds for her long lost love.
In another timeline, she pines silently for her Hero, simply watching in heartbreak as his inner demons drive him mad until he is merely a shade of his former self and disappears.
In both timelines, her heir grows, marries, and has a daughter of their own.
In one timeline, this princess - not the Sacred Princess but one of the sacred line nonetheless - grows up with stories of her grandmother's life as a Sheikah and the Hero she loved and lost. She grows up with stories of how when you fall in love, you should hold on tight, never let it go, and never waste a moment with them. As the flood waters rise, she swears she won't make the same mistake as her grandmother made. She won't let a second with her love be wasted, so she runs away from the palace, following the sailor she loves out to sea.
In another timeline, that same princess grows up with firm and unwavering expectations of what her royal duty is and how exactly she is expected to see that through. She grows up with a grandmother who married for duty despite her love being right there, knowing that she too is to marry an appropriate suitor when she comes of age. It never even crosses her mind that she could have fought to be with her love.
In both timelines, this princess bears the next Sacred Princess.
In one timeline, the next Zelda is born free as the waves beneath her. Her name is Zelda as her mother couldn't bear to break that far with tradition, but such isn't a name fitting for a pirate, so her middle name is all she ever knows. She grows up free and feral, sunkissed and smirking, allowed to be wild and go wherever the wind takes her.
In another timeline, the next Zelda is born as the sun begins to set over Hyrule. She grows up sheltered in a palace of rules and expectations. She learns to hide both smiles and tears, nevermind any improper impulses that might cross her mind. She grows up as a proper princess, internally screaming for anything more than the darkness around her.
In both timelines, Zelda finds her Hero. She finds Link, or rather he finds her, and they don't let go this time. In this lifetime they will get their happy ending, together, and they will fight anyone who tries to take it away from them.
(Aka: my brain realized that both TP and WW are next lifetime direct sequels to OoT. And now all I can think is that TP Zelda got ALL the anxiety in the timeline split, and that if Tetra ever met Midna they would get along like a house fire in that there would be no survivors)
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42ap · 5 months ago
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In the amicable breakup 30s AU, Stan is definitely seeing other people. Spending his days a bit bored in the forest, Stan often drives into the city on weekends for dates. With not much else to do lately, he’s been really wanting to find someone to fall in love with. That’s why, in the first part of this AU, the three of them are chatting about exes.
Every time Stan laments how hard it is to find a good person, Stanford always glances at him briefly, but Stan stubbornly ignores it. What exactly happened on the breakup night has never been explicitly said because I haven’t figured it out yet, but suffice to say it was catastrophic, earth-shattering, absurdly cruel, and utterly over the top—not just some argument that ended with Stan being kicked out by their father.
By comparison, the semi-consensual, semi-coerced straight-guy-experiment-gone-wrong “gay sex scientific research conference” during their final days of high school in the Evil Twin AU looks like child’s play. Whatever happened on that breakup night was so extreme, it defied common sense, which is why it’s so hard to imagine the specifics of it.
That’s why, in this AU, Stanley occasionally takes on the job of cooking but makes sure to over-salt Stanford’s portions every time. And then, while Stanford eats without a single change in expression, Stanley just glares at him with pure resentment.
Fiddleford, completely oblivious, always tries really hard to get the brothers to reconcile. Fiddleford is such a genuinely kind person that Stanley doesn’t know how to refuse him, so he just endures the experience of watching Stanford smugly enjoy Fiddleford's long-winded talks about the importance of family harmony.
When Fiddleford unknowingly eats one of the overly salted meals meant for Stanford, he spends two minutes gagging and says, “Damn it, Stanley, your pranks are way too much!”
But after learning the truth, Fiddleford just nods while watching Stanford calmly eat his salty food. “Bro, good on you—eat it, you know you deserve it.”
Reflecting on that disastrous New Year’s dinner after their devastating breakup at 19, you can’t help but marvel at how, even after breaking up, this bone-crushing pair still manages to go home together for family meals. Of course, the first thing they do after arriving is get into a fight about where to sit in the living room, then argue over who has to sleep in the guest room. When their mom forces them into the kitchen to help cook, they bicker the entire time and even manage to fight while she’s turned away grabbing seasoning.
The endless insults, the attempts to prove in conversation that they’re the one who’s doing better in life—it’s all just deliciously angry young man energy 🤤. Though, based on previous settings, 19-year-old Stanford would absolutely have been avoiding Stanley at all costs, because Stanley might really show up silently with brass knuckles and stand by the bed: “Hey, bro, are you awake? I can’t sleep because every time I think about what you said during the breakup, I get pissed all over again.”
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