#hilarious how he keeps getting in his own way

[heavyhitterheaux]

Back to You

AN: angst with some fluff!

Synopsis: It's the first game of the season, and you promised your boyfriend that you would be in the audience cheering him on. But when you don't make an appearance at the game, Joe quickly grows annoyed at you until he learns the reason why

Pairing: Joe Burrow x Reader

Requested by: a lovely anon 💕

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

“If you keep giving me kisses, you're going to be late.” You told your boyfriend of two years as he continued giving you small pecks and you peeked past him to look at the clock that was hanging behind him on the wall.

“Not you complaining that I need my good luck kisses.” Joe responded while turning up his nose at you.

“I'm not complaining by any means. I just don't want you to be late. You know how much I love giving you kisses.” You told him as your arms wrapped around him as he kissed your forehead.

“I love giving you kisses somewhere else too and you’re wearing my jersey tonight, correct? I love seeing you in it and I love it even more when I take it off when the game is over.” Joe asked and you rolled your eyes.

“No, I'm wearing Ja'Marr's along with the hoodie he gave me.”

Now it was Joe’s turn to roll his eyes and suck his teeth.

“Babe? Seriously?”

“You're the one asking stupid questions, not me.”

“There's no such thing as a stupid question.”

“Hmm, Joseph, I beg to differ. Now please go so you won't be late. I love you.” You told him as you reached up on your toes to give him one more kiss which he gladly accepted.

“I love you too and I'll see you when you get there.”

“I'm going to need a huge mountain of mozzarella sticks when I do. Probably throw some nachos in there too for good measure.”

“Did you forget that you ate yourself into a food coma last week and fell asleep in the last 10 minutes of the game?”

“Nope, and I'm getting ready to do it again.”

Joe just shook his head at you knowing that you would be complaining about it later.

“See you when you get there, babe.” He told you as he played with your necklace that he had gifted you with his name on it.

“Can't wait to see you win this one.”

After Joe had gotten into his car and pulled off to make his way to the stadium, you took the steps two at a time to head to your master bedroom in order to get ready to head to the game. Your sister was coming with you since she was able to get off of work because someone switched swifts with her. Even if she was the owner of her own shop, she needed someone she could trust to handle things when she wasn’t going to be there. She was actually the reason that the two of you were together in the first place, but it was definitely a love at first sight type of situation.

Your sister just so happened to own a bakery and was very surprised when Joe walked in one day and was casually browsing the display case of treats. That day she was short staffed and you were helping her out for a few hours since you loved to bake in your spare time and knew your way around a kitchen. Natalie just loved it even more to eventually make a career out of it. As Joe was asking about the different desserts and pastries, your sister Natalie kept seeing his eyes wander in your direction.

“She’s single and I need for you to take me out of my misery because she is always all up under me.” She told him as she nudged her head in your direction. She knew how big of a crush you had on Joe with you being a huge football fan and thought it was hilarious that you hadn't recognized him yet being in the very same store breathing in the same air. She knew it was only a matter of time before you turned around and saw him.

Hearing this, Joe's eyes went wide and he began to stutter.

“What? I… um…”

“She's my baby sister. Go over there and talk to her.”

Ever since that moment, the two of you had been inseparable.

You told Natalie that you were going to pick her up so that she didn't have to worry about driving through the city which you knew that she despised and would try to avoid at all costs. Knowing her if she drove, she probably wouldn’t even make it to the game until halftime since all she liked to take were backroads.

You- Getting ready now! Leaving the house in about twenty minutes!

Natalie- Okay! Just text me when you get here. I'm excited and can't wait to eat ourselves into a food coma lol 🤣

You- Will do! And Joe will just have to deal with it

Your shower had been taken with Joe an hour and a half before so all that was left for you to do was to get dressed. Slipping on Joe's jersey as promised, you then slipped on your jeans before grabbing your black and orange converses. As you sat down at your vanity, light makeup was applied before putting your knotless braids into a high ponytail with an orange bow holding it in place.

Taking one last look in your shared bedroom, you made sure that nothing was left behind that you might need as you slipped your crossbody up over your head to rest on your shoulder.

It would take you about fifteen minutes to get to Natalie's house and then it would take another thirty in order to get to the stadium coming from that direction. As you made your way out of the neighborhood and stopped at a red light, a quick text was sent to let her know that you were on your way. The light then turned green and you promptly entered the intersection before your head suddenly slammed against your driver's side window knocking you unconscious.

There were only mere minutes until the game started and there was no sign of either you or your sister in the stands which made Joe extremely nervous. He knew you didn't mention stopping anywhere except to get Natalie so he didn't quite understand.

You had mentioned that you would leave the house about twenty minutes after he did, so you should have been there by now with Natalie and he couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that he was having. A feeling that something was incredibly wrong. But on the other hand, maybe something important had happened because he knew for a fact that the last thing you would ever do is miss one of his home games.

Kickoff had now begun with the defense taking the field first. Joe was constantly looking over his shoulder every few minutes hoping that you would suddenly appear, but every single time he came up empty. Ja’Marr could tell that Joe was distracted and made it a point to ask him about it.

“You good?” He asked, breaking Joe out of his thoughts.

“Y/N and Natalie aren’t here yet and I don’t know where they could be. She literally told me that she was going to leave the house about twenty minutes after I did to get her sister and then that would make her only be thirty minutes away. She never misses a home game if she can help it. I’m worried, but also starting to get annoyed at her because she promised she’d be here.”

“Hey, I’m sure that there’s some type of explanation for all this. Hopefully they’ll be here by the time the first quarter is over. But for now we need to focus to get this win.” Ja’Marr told him and Joe simply nodded his head. Ja’Marr could tell that he was obviously still annoyed, but was hoping that this didn’t cause Joe not to focus on what was happening in front of him.

The game was now over with the Bengals winning over the Chiefs 38 to 31 and Joe was now more than annoyed with you. Pissed off was more like it as he began to get dressed to head home after taking a shower.

“Joe, get your phone, it’s been going off nonstop.” Tee told him as he walked by making Joe quickly pick it up to look at it.

Staring back at him was a total of seventeen missed calls all from Natalie as well as an unknown number that he didn’t recognize. Seeing how many there were instantly made his heart drop as he picked it up to call your sister back. One thing that did stick out to him was the fact that there weren’t any missed calls from you and the sinking feeling that he had gotten in the pit of his stomach was now more prominent.

Natalie didn’t even give the phone a chance to ring before she picked it up to answer.

“JOE! THANK GOD!”

“Natalie, what…. What is going on? Why didn’t the two of you come to the game?”

She wasted no time and was talking a mile a minute.

“Y/N was on her way to get me and I know that because she sent me a text telling me, but she literally never made it here.”

“What do you mean she never made it there?” Joe asked with a lump in his throat forming.

“I literally just got a call from the hospital. I had been trying to call her for hours, but she didn’t answer. Someone hit her car while she was crossing the intersection by the light closest to where you guys live. She has you listed as her emergency contact, but since they couldn’t get a hold of you, they called me. I’m on my way there now and oh my God, I hope she’s okay. They wouldn’t tell me anything over the phone. Joe, she is my only sister and there is no way I can…”

“Okay, Natalie. I know this is the last thing you want to hear right now, but you need to calm down and breathe. You’re driving so I want you to get there safely. Just focus on the road and I’ll meet you there. Which hospital is it?” Joe tried to comfort your big sister as best as he could when he was falling apart at the seams himself.

“University of Cincinnati Medical Center.”

“I’m on my way now.”

With a shaky hand, Joe quickly hung up the phone and got dressed in under two minutes. There was literally no time for him to do a press conference because seeing if you were okay was his main priority. Grabbing his bag, he practically ran out of the stadium and heard Tee yelling behind him.

“Joe, where’s the fire?!”

“Y/N got into an accident and I don’t know if she’s okay or not. They’re going to have to do the press conference without me and get the fuck over it.”

As Joe was driving, he started to feel guilty about being mad at you before he found out what had actually happened. He was simply praying for you to be okay when he got there and you not being at the game was now the least of his worries since there would be plenty more.

It only took him about fifteen minutes to get to the hospital as he weaved in and out of traffic and quickly parked before practically taking off running to the emergency room entrance. Once he passed the threshold and signed in at the security desk, he saw your sister down the hallway talking on the phone and quickly went over to her. Her face was red and puffy from crying, but she immediately took the phone away from her ear once she saw Joe.

“Where is she? How is she?”

“She’s okay, thank goodness. It just looks worse than it actually is. Just talking to my dad. She’s in that room right over there.” She told him as she pointed.

Joe quickly nodded his head before walking down the hallway to your room. Once he got there, the door was open and he saw your eyes closed while the television was on a low volume in the background. Your face was covered in streaks of blood and scratches as bruises were taking form on your arms on the skin that was exposed. Your Bengals jersey had splatters of blood covering it and he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. It hurt Joe to see you in that state, but he was simply happy that you were alive.

Hearing footsteps, you quickly opened your eyes to look towards the door and let out a sob when you saw your boyfriend who immediately embraced you in a hug.

“I’m sorry… I…” You started to say, but he promptly cut you off.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. You’re alive and that’s all that matters.” He told you as he rubbed small circles along your back.

“But I broke my promise. I told you that I would be there.”

“Baby, that is the last thing we need to worry about and besides, this was in no way, shape or form your fault. Do you remember what happened?”

“A little bit. I was at the light and it was red, so I sent a text to Natalie telling her that I was coming. The light turned green and I proceeded to go and that was when someone hit me. I hit my head on the window and that’s where all these little cut marks are from apparently. Next thing I knew, I woke up and I was here. They got your number out of my phone, but I told them that you were a little busy and to call Natalie.”

“I am never too busy for you, you know better.”

“I just… I wanted to be there for you, first game of the season and I missed it.”

“You have the rest of the entire season to be there for me. I needed to be there for you today.”

“There’s one more thing…” You said as you looked down and played with your necklace at the same time.

“What is it, babe?”

“My car….. Is probably totaled from the impact. He was going at a high speed and I was told that it’s a miracle that I’m even still alive to tell the tale because the car is unrecognizable.”

“As soon as you’re all healed from this, we’ll go and get you a new one. But once again, that is the last thing that we need to be worrying about. Until then, I’m driving you everywhere and I don’t want to hear any complaints.”

“Oh good, I’m probably going to make my first stop at Sephora.”

“Wait… hold on…”

“And Target too.”

Joe simply sighed before nodding his head because he knew that he would do anything to put a smile on your face.

“It looks like you were the one who needed the good luck kisses today.” He told you and you scoffed.

“Oh wait! Did you guys win?!” You asked as the thought popped up into your head.

“We did.”

“So, it looks like the good luck kisses worked both ways. I need to give them to you more often.”

It was another hour and a half before the doctor cleared you to leave the hospital and you convinced Joe to get you McDonald’s before heading home since you weren’t able to get your nachos and mozzarella sticks at the game.

After taking a shower and washing off the day's events, you quickly put your hair up and slipped on your comfy black and orange Bengals pajamas as you slid in bed next to Joe who promptly put his arms around you and kissed your forehead. He glanced down at you to see that you were looking back up at him and he reached down to kiss the tip of your nose.

“Your mind is racing, what are you thinking?” You asked as you held onto him tighter.

“That I came very close to losing the love of my life today and how thankful I am that I still get to hold her.”

You sighed and simply nodded, not really knowing what to say.

“And it made me feel guilty when I did find out what happened and why you weren’t there because I can admit, I was upset and pissed off. I just thought ‘why would she promise me that she was coming and she’s nowhere in sight?’”

“You know that I always keep my promises whether it’s big or small. But, it didn't happen today.” You softly said to him and he simply nodded.

“You came back to me and that is literally all I could have asked for.”

Taglist:

@hoodharlow

@nattinatalia

@wickedfun9

@a-moment-captured

@dandelionwrites8

@keiva1000

[newkatzkafe2023]

Not sure if you're taking requests rn- but I found ur blog and m a n I am feral for that silly monkey king😭🤌🤌

Could I ask for a male Y/N x Monkey king, and Y/N is a Kitsune who's an apothecary and he checks up on Wukong even if if it's just a scratch, and can both kick ass and match the sassy attitude <3

Love ur work, keep it up <33

Yes I am taking requests, I am always taking request, Please send more🤩🤤

(Lmk Wukong) Awwwww, aren't you the sweetest demon he's ever met, worrying about little Ole him. You know he's probably gone through way worse than the injury you're helping him with, right? Although he totally appreciates your concern and the fact that you would drop whatever you're doing to run to his aid. It's so sweet of you to be worried about him the way you do, but it's even more amazing that he gets to watch you thrash the people who beat him up in the first place.

(MKR Wukong) Hates being out Sassed, but also finds it exciting. He could never find a better fighting partner than you, especially when you look kinda hot when you spill blood. Their's also never a time when you're taking care of his injuries, and he's not blushing. Even when It's just a little splinter, deep down, he appreciates your concerns for him and his well-being.

(HIB Wukong) Honestly He feels you should worry more about the children than with him. Between Luier's scraped knees and cuts and silly girl's splinters, you'll be more occupied with their injuries. Which is probably why he blushes in an instant when you show concern and care for him and his wounds. He also finds it handy that you're fantastic in battle, too, and it's nice for somebody to have your back.

(NR Wukong) You can't tell me that this old man hasn't busted his ass really badly before. Granted, he thinks he can just shake it off or take a nap as he is a stone monkey and immortal, but he needs medical assistance sometimes, And you're kinda his best option because he would run the life alert people into the ground. Although it helps that you join him in fights and battles so he doesn't sustain so many injuries, He finds it surprising.How ferocious you are, but then again, you are a fox demon. Also, the only demon who can force him to take it easy.

(Netflix Wukong) SASSY TWINS!!!! I mean, come on, he looks like he has a smart mouth! You guys would either sass each other or team up to sass the other people. It's hilarious🤣. He also kinda whines when you run over to him. Because of whatever blemish or scratch, he'll get in his Scuffles and battles like come on, you're embarrassing him. Although he does find it nice to receive care from somebody other than Lin, but still he's fine he can walk it off. Then again, do you know how many times he hit himself in the face with his own stick, Sometimes by accident, but most of the time, the staff gets angry or tired of him.

FEEL FREE TO REBLOG👨‍⚕️

[mya-valentine]

Headcannon: Dabi with a Bitchy S/O

Dabi is drawn to his S/O’s sharp, no-nonsense attitude. They’re unapologetically blunt and always have a cutting remark ready for anyone who crosses them. Dabi finds it amusing and sometimes even admires how confidently they carry themselves, never afraid to speak their mind.

They don’t sugarcoat anything with him, which he finds refreshing. Everyone else either fears him or tries to manipulate him, but his S/O? They’ll call him out without hesitation, snapping, “Get your act together, Dabi,” when they feel he’s slacking or being reckless. He secretly enjoys the challenge they present and loves that they’re not intimidated by him.

Their sass and attitude actually balance out Dabi’s own sarcastic nature. They constantly throw shade at each other, engaging in verbal sparring matches that usually end with a smirk on Dabi’s face. “You’re in a mood today,” he’ll quip after one of their bitchy remarks, and they’ll roll their eyes, “Aren’t I always?”

His S/O doesn’t tolerate nonsense from anyone, not even Dabi. If he tries to push their buttons or act smug, they’ll shut him down in a second, snapping back with a biting comment that leaves him momentarily speechless. It annoys him, but he also can’t help but find it attractive—they’re not afraid to stand up to him.

Despite their prickly exterior, Dabi can see through his S/O’s tough front. He knows that their bitchy attitude is often a defense mechanism, and while he never says it out loud, he appreciates that they’re strong enough to handle the harsh world they live in. It’s one of the reasons he respects them so much.

His S/O is the type to roll their eyes when Dabi gets too broody or dramatic. “Oh, please. Are we doing this again?” they’ll sigh when he gets too lost in his dark thoughts. While it may seem harsh, their bluntness actually grounds Dabi, reminding him not to spiral too deep. It’s their way of caring without getting all soft about it.

In public, they act like they’re constantly annoyed by Dabi’s antics, scoffing and throwing sarcastic insults his way. But behind closed doors, their dynamic is different. There’s a certain level of trust and understanding between them, and while they might still throw shade at each other, there’s an unspoken bond that neither of them would admit out loud.

Dabi is often amused by how his S/O handles other people. They don’t care about anyone else’s opinions and will be openly bitchy toward anyone who tries to mess with them. Dabi finds it hilarious when his S/O tears someone down with a well-placed insult, and he’ll watch with a smirk, impressed by their sharp tongue.

His S/O’s tough exterior keeps most people at arm’s length, but Dabi loves the fact that he’s one of the few who can actually get past it. Even if they don’t show it often, he knows they care about him, and he enjoys being the person they let their guard down around (even if they’ll never fully admit it).

Dabi’s favorite moments are when his S/O’s bitchy facade cracks for just a second. Whether it’s a fleeting smile or a softer comment, those rare moments show him that there’s more to them than their sharp edges. He won’t call them out on it, though—he knows better than to push.

While they might seem mismatched on the surface, Dabi and his S/O’s relationship works because they both respect each other’s toughness. They’ve each been through their own struggles, and their shared cynicism about the world bonds them. Beneath the sarcastic comments and bitchy remarks, there’s an unspoken loyalty that runs deep.

.

.

.

Masterlist

[coffee-master]

[IDEA TO USE: TRANS STANLEY PINES]

[Lee Pines]

I wish there was a fanfic about trans Stanley Pines, who realised he was trans AFTER he was kicked out of the house.

Honestly I belive that during his childhood and teenage years there would be visible sights, but Stand ignored it due to the many circumstances.

I also think that his realtionship with his father would be maybe ever worse? I belive that Filbrick would often complain that his "daughter" was making more mess than his other sons, or complain for not being "a typical girl" or "girly" or other stuff.

Anyway-

After being kicked out I think that due to the new enviroment and other people (good and bad) Stan would probably run into some queer group in one of the bars. Maybe he would try to scam them or steal.. But somehow he would end up with a conversation AND REALISATION.

Egg cracking.

Later Stan would realise that he's a guy and do something about it. (In illegal way due to the situation)

He would do some dirty job to get some shots of testosterone. And it would start working.

He made a call to one of his old pals (on crime) to get a top surgery. The operation was of course a big risk (like 70% you survive, 20% you will die of blood loose on the table and 10% you die due to the infection if the surgery went bad)

I think the transition would have a positive impact on his mental health (like:; "Yeah Testosterone won't solve my money or family problems BUT LOOK WHO CAN GO SHIRTLESS!!)

A little steps would make him smile.

(TW: Another small detail is that during his living on the streets before transition Stan would probably also experience some sexuall harrasment) [I'd have a big impact on him]

Another think is that the transition would help him with his crime record. Slowly [DEADNAME] Pines wanishes away and nobody knows where or how and nobody can susspect him anymore.

From now on He would call himself Lee Pines. (simply)

[Let's be honest. I don't think Lee change his name to Stanley.. it's just like Stanford.. But that's only my opinion]

But Lee Pines would get himself more criminal record and in the end still use new fake IDs and ect.

NOW.

Let's get to the part where Lee gets a postcard from Stanford.

NOW THIS IS WHERE THE REAL FUN BEGIN! Because he doesn't know about this whole stiation.

Stanford is waiting impatiently for his twin sister to show up in his Shack, but when he opens the door, he sees this MESSY HOMELESS GUY (suspicionsly similar to him)

"WHO ARE YOU?! DID YOU COME HERE TO STEAL MY EYES!?" - Stanford is ready to shoot.

Lee is clearly confused. He expected that his twin wouldn be shocked to a man at his doorsteps. But he didn't expect it would go like this-

"Geez, you sure now how to-" Before he could even finish his sentence Ford rapidly moved his crossbow even closer to his face.

"Who are you!?" Stanford yelled insantly.

"Woah Woah- Chill out pointexter-" The messy twin slowly raised his hands up.

"Talk. Now." Ford threatened.

"I'm your brother you dumbass-!" Lee yelled flustration and anger, not paying attention to his words at all.

Instead of being angry Ford only laughed manically at the answer. Shermie was far away with his own family. Moreover adding the fact that he didn't keep in touch with him in a long time. The answer was just hilarious!

"Wrong answer, try again." Ford smirked thinking this must be some trick of imagination or another shape-shifting creature from this forest.

Meanwhile Lee was terrified seeing his brother in this state of mind. Just what exacly happened to him?

But before he could even question this whole Madness, he heard counting.

"Five.." It was Ford. "Four.." And he was counting down.

He was counting down-

Who could have even guessed that reunion with his brother could cost him his head? Nevertheless Lee prefered to stay in one piece.

So he spoke.

All that he know.

"In the middle school I used to take your box class, since you hated it so much and once Pa' found out, he was pretty pissed at both of us!" Immiediately he saw how Ford was taken aback.

It was a good sigh.

So he kept going.

"During summer we'd go on the beach and pretend to be treasure hunters! One time we wanted to make a fireplace next to the boat? I used my dresses as a firelighter and later I was 'forced' to wear your nerdy clothes as a punishment! We had a pet! Shanklin the Stab Possum! World's greatest pet!" He talked and talked until there was no oxygen for him to breath.

But he did it.

Ford blinked dumbfoundly instantly taking a step back from him. Lee didn't hesitate and used this opportunity once again.

"You told me to come here! You send me a post card!" He slowly reached to his pocked, taking out the pice of paper and rapidly waved it in his face.

"What.." Confused twin lowered his weapon down at the sight of the evidence.

"A lot has changed during those ten years brainiac." Finally the other twin said a little coldly, after seeing Ford putting weapoon away. "I go by Lee now." He added simply.

For a moment Stanford didn't say a thing, as if he've just got a brain damage.

"You know what? This isn't the weirdest thing I've seen. Get inside!" Stanford didn't have the time to question, especially when outside, everyone could see them.

Instead he dragged "Lee" into his house.

You can guess what happened next.

And, If someone would be interested in writing a fic about this or something similar then go ahead! DO IT! This is free to use!!!

Please!

Just tag me, becuase I'd like to read it too...👉👈

[featherquillpen]

My favorite Hubert support chains in Three Houses

My favorite Hubert supports and why I like them so much! Some possibly controversial opinions ahead! YOLO.

Hubert & Petra

I think the Hubert/Petra support chain is really underrated. There's a ton of Discourse about the Ingrid/Dedue support chain and racism and the overcoming thereof. But the Hubert and Petra support chain does a great job, I think, of showing someone working on their own racism. Hubert's behavior toward Petra in their C support is appalling, and I think Hubert's worst on-screen behavior. It's either the C support with Petra, or his threats toward her and Brigid on the Petra and Bernie paralogue in non-Crimson Flower routes.

The context is all-important. Petra is a political hostage. She was brought over to the Adrestian court at age 9. Hubert is an Adrestian noble. At the time of the C support pre-TS, Hubert is 20 and Petra is 15. The power dynamic between them is deeply skewed in Hubert's favor. He could do nearly anything to her short of kill her, and get away scot-free. It's pretty much Hubert's modus operandi to threaten people in C supports, because he's so paranoid about any potential enemy of Edelgard's. But to do so to someone who is already so utterly in his power, and Edelgard's, is just cruel.

The B support is still fairly bad. But in the A support, Hubert turns it around.

Hubert is now clear that he believes in the new accord between Brigid and the Empire. Indeed, it's obvious by implication, and more clearly spelled out in Hopes, that he was part of making that accord. And now he's stripped of his last excuse to keep judging Petra. I think one of the highest compliments Hubert can give is to say something like this:

Overall, I love this support as an example of a character working on their racist bullshit.

(I will briefly add that I adore their support chain in Three Hopes also. In that chain, it's Petra's turn to threaten Hubert, and he's SO INTO IT. Just like "Oh shit, a good threat. I respect that so much.")

Hubert & Dorothea

Talking of threatening people in C supports, you know who Hubert doesn't threaten in their C support? Dorothea.

Hubert just likes Dorothea right away. No threats. In fact he's quite open about his feelings about Edelgard right in the C support, and that's a very personal topic!

The whole support chain is about love. And it's even better because their ending together is platonic. And about being spies together, which is so sick. (As far as I can tell, and let the internet correct me if I'm wrong, Hubert is the male ("male") character with the most platonic endings with women, after Alois, who is already married.) I really love it because Hubert opens up very deeply to Dorothea about his feelings for Edelgard. As an aro-spec person, I really relate to the way Hubert and Dorothea talk about Hubert's feelings for Edelgard.

it's very lovely character growth for Dorothea because she sees how profound and transformative non-romantic love can be. That she doesn't need to have romantic love in her life to be happy, whatever society has told her about the necessity of marriage for women to be happy. And that's reflected in the fact that she has a platonic ending with Hubert.

I just can't find their A support anything but hilarious in the best way. They're talking about love, and superficially it's about them getting married, but they don't get married in their ending or have any romantic relationship, and the subtext is screaming that the A support is completely about both their feelings for Edelgard.

I'll take "very normal things to say when you're proposing to someone" for 500, Alex.

Hubert & Bernadetta

I have said it before and I will say it again: you can easily read a metaphor into this support about Bernie giving Hubert space to be gender non conforming or trans femme.

Bernie is way more scared of men than women, and behaves accordingly in their C support, but Hubert then expresses great gentleness toward Bernie and also a deep discomfort with this "scary vampire man" persona, which is sometimes useful but more often painful and heartbreaking. Bernie is really sweet and understanding about this, and even makes that flower in the A support, which you can interpret as Bernie saying "I see this side of you that doesn't fit into masculinity and I want to help you express it." After all, as Hubert says, it's a gift you'd give a female friend, or someone you have romantic feelings for.

What I really like about the moment where Bernie gives Hubert the flower is that it's a moment of Hubert being the one who needs support, through this feeling of pain and uncertainty about this frightening ghoul persona, and Bernie doing the caring. A lot of Bernie's supports are about people trying to help and support Bernie. And that's great! But I love that in this support chain, Bernie also gets to do the supporting.

That dynamic continues in their amazing paired ending, where Bernie goes on great adventures and Hubert stays at home and keeps house. Incredible. Iconic. Let Hubert be GNC. Let Hubert be a housewife.

Hubert & Ferdinand

Much has been said about this support, but I think I have a new take that I haven't seen before. Something that Hubert says to Ferdinand in Hopes helped me really unlock something important about their support chain in Houses.

In Hopes, Hubert and Ferdie are talking about Ludwig, and while Ferdie expresses hope that maybe his father can change, Hubert says something like, "Once someone strays from the path, they can never return." This reflects a broader aspect of Hubert's character, which is that he doesn't seem to believe in redemption. Not for nobles. Not for anyone who's done wrong. Especially not for himself.

Ferdinand does believe in redemption. Not only believes in it, but embodies it. Ferdinand has a remarkable redemption arc. Hubert in the C support with Ferdinand in Houses clearly believes that because of Ferdinand's really fucked up beliefs about nobility and about the power he deserves, Ferdie has strayed from the path and can never return. He's a lost cause. But then Ferdinand proves him wrong.

I think what a lot of fandom gets wrong about this relationship is that they think that Ferdie proved Hubert wrong because he was actually a good guy all along. That's not true. Ferdie pre-timeskip is in many ways genuinely toxic. He secretly believes that he should be Emperor. He bangs on about being the only legitimate heir of House Aegir, and his Aegir bloodline, all of this noble bloodline eugenics stuff that is ruining his classmates' lives. And in three out of four routes, he fights against Edelgard to preserve his noble power and prevent her taking it away from him, upholding this entire rotten system. But in Crimson Flower, he proves Hubert wrong, because he proves that people who stray from the path can return. That phrasing in Hopes about returning to the path gives me some feels, because in Judaism, the word for redemption, teshuvah, basically means "return." It's a belief in the goodness of people. You were on the path to start with. You left it, but you're returning. You're going back to your own fundamental goodness and ability to follow the path.

I think a big reason why Hubert is so impressed with Ferdie by the end of their support chain, and why he comes to love him, is because he proved to Hubert that people can change and can be redeemed. And if that's true of Ferdie…. then maybe that can also be true for Hubert. Ferdinand represents hope. Not just hope for a future after the war, with his visions of education for the masses, but hope that anyone, even the most spoiled noble, even a soul blackened by murder and moral compromise, can work toward redemption. I think it's really beautiful.

And then we get the A+ support which is just pure gay disaster tire fire. Absolute nightmares, both of them.

I find the Ferdibert paired ending deeply funny. Hubert thought he'd die in a ditch and be remembered as the Butcher of Fodlan or something, and now he's a Twin Jewel who everyone thinks is based. I'm also amused by the detail in the JP version of their ending where Edelgard is jealous of their romance. Poor Edie going "where's MY gay enemies to lovers slow burn, HUH?"

Hubert & Edelgard

Agggghhhhhkkkggghhkkkk so. Um. Finally. Last but not least. The Hubert and Edelgard support chain. This is my Hubert stan account origin story. This relationship is what made me go "I need to understand every last thing about Hubert von Vestra." Because here we have Hubert, who is leaving chloroform-soaked rags lying around, looming like a vampyr, cackling unhingedly in crit lines, and threatening people left and right in C supports, and then you see Hubert and Edelgard's C. And that's when you first get to see the real Hubert. That bright heart.

The direct JP-EN translation of this is "I shall make a show of spilling blood to paint the scarlet path1 you tread," where 'scarlet path' is a reference to the walkway in a theater, which is so sexy of Hubert to say.

I also love the C support because she's opening the door wide open for Hubert to leave. It shows the importance of consent and freedom in their relationship. All the people who talk about Hubert being "brainwashed" or "manipulated" into his role clearly left their brains at the door during this support.

I don't even know what to say about the B support, it's just the best. It's perfect. My heart is filled with rainbows. Nobody does it like them. Though I do love that at the end of the B support Edelgard's like "tell me ur secrets Hubert!!!" and he's like "OH LOOK AT THE TIME I GOTTA GO" and flees.

I can't talk about the A support without referring to the Teaspoon Translation because the EN is so badly botched. When I first saw their A support, I was disappointed. And then I discovered it was Treehouse at it again.

JP Edelgard would never dare assume that Hubert is heterosexual.

I also adore the JP version of their paired ending, from Teaspoon:

In their later years, after accomplishing what they set out to do, they found a talented successor and disappeared. Even in their retirement, spent just by themselves, there were likely no romantic exchanges even to the end.

Queerplatonic partner icons. Shipping is nice and all, but no romantic relationship between characters in this game will ever appeal to me more than what Hubert and Edelgard have going on.

[waltricia]

Am I correct in assuming that, in this moment, he’s trying to convey to her that she’s the reason he had the courage to run and stop the balloon, but she thinks he’s essentially giving her another lesson and encouraging her to go to Debling?

Because if so, that is really just another kick in the balls. Damn!

Also, I gotta say, Pen really is ethereally beautiful. They both are. Bisexual dream.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Turtle Takedown Teamwork.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[viric-dreams]

Title: The Geriatric Geodian

Name: Graham

Age: ???

Occupation: New Sequencer (Probably... no one's ever seen him do any actual work)

Main Skills: Dreaded, Persuasive

Main Quirks: Ruthless, Heartless

-Nobody knows how long Graham has been on Grand Geode. He's simply always been there.

-Most Dreaded Man in Zelo's Town. Not because he's scary, but because he's absolutely exhausting and unpleasant to deal with.

-Has been around for seemingly every historical event, and always has the most rank take on it.

-Not even dawnpilled, just believes in the Dawn Machine's goals.

-Spends his days sitting on his porch in Zelo's Town and judging you personally.

-Once had a companion, who's since moved on to the Tomb Colonies. If you try to express sympathy at his loss he'll call you a sentimental ninny and hobble off. His companion is probably wreaking equal havoc in the Tomb Colonies.

-Has personally victimised each and every sequencer on Grand Geode at least once. (stories welcome)

Graham has been Roberts' nemesis on the Geode since the 70s. Roberts enters every encounter swearing he'll put the old man in his place. He usually ends up apologising and assuring him that of course he'll ensure that the zailors stay off of his lawn in the future. He then spends the next several hours after the encounter kicking himself for it. He's personally repaired Graham's roof at least twice. He tried to suggest delegating this task to another officer, but was immediately insulted and told "not to faff about and get up on that ladder." Roberts was utterly furious after the fact that he actually did it.

[brainrotdotorg]

i finally got a money order for my new passport, scheduled my appointment for tomorrow, got my auto insurance printed, and set out vinegar and dish soap gnat traps to finally kill those thangs. literally so adultcore of me. everyone clap

[fortune-maiden]

Random TGCF AU of the day

Something something SWD goes on a long term trip and leaves SQX with Pei Ming. Pei Ming is determined to be a good temporary guardian/older brother figure. SQX is determined to destroy him.

[tyrantwombat]

That said, as cool as the visuals are, they made the choking thing so dramatic again. I get the visual medium thing, and needing those high energy beats, but Sung Hyunjae is just so casually menacing about it in the novel and Yoojin just.

Barely registers it.

Can't be bothered.

[dameronswife]

girls when poe has a personality that isn't being obsessed with a man he's had maybe ten scenes with in the first two movies and has his own agency and doesn't always agree with his mentor instead of bending over backwards to constantly say she's right (when she isn't):

[starcurtain]

I know everyone sees Itto as Genshin's comedic relief, but I'm telling you all, Alhaitham is actually the funniest character in Genshin Impact.

According to the fandom, he's hot, he's famous, he's the one in charge of the house...

But according to the people of Sumeru? Dude became grand sage and not a single NPC around the city had a thing to say about that. Sachin's son got his ass beat and he didn't even know who Alhaitham was; it was just "some guy in green." People on the streets are said to not even notice Alhaitham, let alone be able to identify him by appearance. The only time we ever hear NPCs directly commenting on Alhaitham, it's Siraj's collective who hate Alhaitham's guts. Dori refuses to work with him. Random Eremites call him a lunatic within two minutes of meeting him.

Alhaitham's reputation in Sumeru is "Who? Ah, that guy? I heard he's weird," and then everyone moves on.

Meanwhile, Kaveh is literally famous enough to have an epithet ("the Light of Kshahrewar"), is the lead architect on entire city redesigns, and was trusted before Alhaitham's take over to do work on the Akademiya itself. He built the most famous landmark in the rainforest outside of the Divine Tree. He's well-known enough that people bank on his reputation to start scams; people send their children to take courses with him in the belief that it will bless them with successful future careers. He's known for philanthropic endeavors to help the poor and disadvantaged. He won the Interdarshan Championship. This is the Sumeru equivalent of winning an Olympic gold medal!!

Kaveh is the Taylor Swift to Alhaitham's Travis Kelce. They might have independent success, but in every measurement of public sentiment, Kaveh vastly outshines Alhaitham, and the fandom should really take a step back and think about how hilarious this makes everything about their situation in canon.

For the few in Sumeru who are actually paying attention, sure, Alhaitham is the (former) acting grand sage who makes a pretty penny and owns the house Kaveh lives in. For the average majority of Sumeru's citizens who are way more likely to know Kaveh? Alhaitham is literally just "that guy who is shacked up with the Light of Kshahrewar."

Kaveh's efforts to keep where he lives a secret just makes him come across like one of those reclusive types of artists who value their privacy. Half the public in Sumeru probably think he just prefers to keep himself and his lover out of the limelight. Kaveh was so busy pretending not to be poor, he forgot that every ounce of pretending he does just helps him keep his own celebrity status. The harder he attempts to act secretive about where he lives and with whom, the more it comes across as "Please respect this famous person's privacy and stop asking about the details of his relationship."

And Alhaitham, for whom being "that guy who is shacked up with the Light of Kshahrewar" is THE life goal? Everything is going according to keikaku. Kaveh has convinced the entirety of Sumeru that he and Alhaitham are in a relationship, all without Alhaitham having to lift a finger. The more determined Alhaitham gets to fly under the radar, the more it looks like he's Kaveh's kept man. If you aren't living with him because you're broke, then why are you living with him, Kaveh? There's simply no way for Alhaitham to lose.

It's just... so funny.

[forgwater]

"Ah, yes. Me, my beloved Prefect and my lookalike tsum from another dimension."

Twst Boys and their reactions to you cuddling their tsum instead of them Headcanons

part 1 part 2 part 3

Riddle Rosehearts

He's baffled.

There has to be a rule about this somewhere!

Yes. The Headmage said he must look after the tsum until it can get back to where it came from and he will, but this is too much.

Does this creature have no manners?!

It must know the two of you are dating. It might even have its own version of you waiting for him to return!

And yet.

Here it is, hogging all your attention as you hold it close to yourself.

You're not even facing him!

And no. He is not crossing his arms and pouting.

Cater Diamond

He thought the tsum was pretty nice at first.

He's been forced to reconsider.

Cater would love to take a picture of you with his tsum. For his eyes only so don't you worry~

You must look so cute snuggled with the plush!

And it looks like him!

It really would be adorable!

If only you weren't facing away from him, your face presumably buried in the soft tummy of his lookalike.

.......

This is not fair. You should be cuddling him! He's your boyfriend! Not that overgrown bean.

He secretly hopes the tsum falls off the bed in the middle of the night.

Leona Kingscholar

What do you mean you prefer that stupid plush??? He's right here!

Very much not happy. No matter how cute you look with his tsum in your arms.

He tries to pull the tsum out of your arms.

Tsum Leona is not letting go.

They lock eyes.

You're pretty sure they're glaring at each other.

.....

Fine. He'll let the tsum have this. He's not gonna risk an accident just because that bean is unwilling to let you go.

You're gonna have his tail on you tho.

Jack Howl

Why are you hugging his tsum like that?

Why is his tsum looking like a puppy getting affection?

He's getting second hand embarrassment.

It's not because he would like to be held like that by you. It's because....

Uh. Because...

I mean! He's a wolf! His tsum is a wolf! It should be a little more... dignified.

He's not needy like that!

And he didn't agree to this. The tsum has not business being in his space like this. Cuddling with his s/o....

He keeps looking over to you and his tsum. He's snatching that bean out of your arms at first light. They're gonna go for a run.

Floyd Leech

So this could go one of two ways:

Either he's annoyed and tries to snatch the offending plush from you, which will end up in a fight between the two.

Or

He thinks it's hilarious and that you look cute like that.

He still wants his cuddles tho.

What's Floyd to do in this situation?

He just plops himself over you and the tsum. He's letting all of his weight crush you.

Lucky(?) for you it's only his torso crushing you.

Good luck.

Epel Felmier

He's finally allowed to have a sleepover and this happens!

You've got to be kidding him.

Please tell him this is a joke. He's glaring daggers at the tsum.

I mean.... He's a strong and independent man! He doesn't need those cuddles.

Yes. Yes he does.

He's fine!

He keeps glaring at the happy tsum in your arms.

It's mocking him.

There's no way it's not.

He tries to snatch it out of your arms, but makes the mistake of going for the head.

He gets bitten by his tsum.

Sebek Zigvolt

First Malleus-sama, now this!

This creature must be taught respect!

HOW DARE IT JUMP INTO YOUR ARMS SO SHAMELESSLY!!!!

WHO DOES IT THINK IT IS?!

A KNIGHT TO MALLEUS SHOULD NOT BEHAVE THIS WAY!

UNBELIEVABLE!

Sebek gets into a one-sided screaming match with his tsum.

By the end of it he's almost in tears. How dare this glorified plush bean steal your affections away from him!

Tsum Sebek ignores all of this. It is far too preoccupied with enjoying your pets and hugs.

You attempt to console Sebek by promising it's only for tonight.

He does not look consoled.

[mossy-rock-in-a-field]

Several weeks ago, my retirement-age mother requested that I play Baldur’s Gate 3 for her because she has trouble with controllers/keyboards and wanted “to see what all the fuss is about with that cute wizard boy.” For context, my mother and I have done this sort of thing in the past with certain RPGs (dragon age, mass effect, etc.), but it’s been a few years since she’s personally requested a game like this. Basically, I control her Tav but let her make all the choices so she can determine how the story plays out without worrying about mechanics. She treats it like a choose-your-own-adventure book.

Anyway, here is a list of some of the things my mother has said and/or chosen to do throughout the course of BG3 in no particular order:

She is (obviously) romancing Gale. She is quite smitten with him and his passion for books and learning; she also thinks he’s polite and qualifies as “relationship material.” She also REALLY likes the things he’s said about his cat so far (my mom is a cat lady), so I know she’s gonna flip shit when we meet Tara in Act III.

She’s playing a normal druid Tav with a generally good alignment. Her favorite spell is Spike Growth because she thinks it’s hilarious whenever enemies walk into the AOE and die. I usually end up having to cast it at least once per battle per her request. Sometimes twice.

Contrary to her alignment, my mother tasks me with robbing every single chest, crate, barrel, and burlap sack we come across; this also includes people and their pockets. The party is always at max carrying capacity. ALWAYS. She doesn’t like selling things because “what if I need them.” The camp stash is in literal shambles. There is no hope of organizing it. She’s got like fifty seven sets of rags and a billion pieces of random silverware.

She MUST talk to every animal and corpse in the game. I think five hours of her total playtime so far (47ish) has been spent speaking to animals as many times as humanly possible. Like, I was thorough in my own playthroughs, but this is on a whole other level.

She did NOT get Volo’s lobotomy, but she did let Auntie Ethel take her eye in hopes of a cure for the tadpole. I did not understand the logic then. I still do not understand it now.

She is far more interested in fashion than equipment stats. Do you have any idea how much gold I’ve had to spend on dyes just to make things match? SO much. Same vibe as that “please someone help me balance my finances my family is starving” tweet but instead of candles it’s thirty thousand fucking bottles of black and furnace red dye.

We broke the prisoners out of Moonrise, but they got on the boat too early and bugged the fight by leaving Astarion and Karlach behind. Wulbren Bongle somehow got stuck in combat mode even after engaging the cutscene on the docks below Last Light; he he kept trying to run ALL THE WAY BACK TO MOONRISE nine fucking meters at a time while I frantically tried to finish the fight with the Warden, otherwise Wulbren would have run straight into the shadow curse. (I would’ve let him go; fuck Wulbren Bongle, all my homies hate Wulbren Bongle. But my mom didn’t know that, and she wanted to keep him safe. So.)

She had me reload a save like eighteen times to save the giant eagles on top of Rosymorn Monastery. Wouldn’t even let me do non-lethal damage just to get past things. I think getting that warhammer for the dawnmaster puzzle took us like an hour and a half alone. (Yes, I know you can use any warhammer, but SHE didn’t.)

She’s started keeping an irl notebook to keep track of her quests between play sessions. She writes down ideas and strategies when she thinks of them during the week, then brings them to her next game session at my house. I think she wrote about three pages on possible approaches to the goblin fortress alone.

She insists that I pet Scratch and the owlbear cub before every single long rest, no exceptions. Sometimes I have to do it multiple times until she is absolutely sure that the animals know exactly how much she loves and cherishes them. She has also commissioned a crocheted owlbear plush from a friend of hers and is very excited.

I’m sure there’s a bunch of stuff I’m forgetting, but those are some fun things I thought of. She’s enjoying the game and is telling all of her retired friends to get it and play it for themselves. She asked me “what is Discord” yesterday and I think my life flashed before my eyes.

anyway shout out to my mom for being neat

Part 2 — Part 3 — Part 4 — Part 5

[wonusite]

The Thing About Pretty Boys

❝ You’re convinced that pretty boy Seonghwa could never fuck anyone stupid. He decides to prove you wrong. ❞

PAIRING: park seonghwa x female reader

GENRE: friends to lovers au, smut

WORD COUNT: 4k

WARNINGS: pwp, repressed feelings, overuse of the word pretty (sorry not sorry), seonghwa is HUNG, cock drunk!reader, pussy drunk!seonghwa, mentions of anal, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected sex, multiple creampies, backshots, squirting, dumbification, possessiveness, breeding kink, overstimulation

A/N: this has been long overdue, and i hope you guys like it! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!

“There’s no way.”

Your incredulous snort makes Seonghwa pause. He whips his head in your direction, pretty frown pulling down the corners of his mouth. You keep laughing, keeling over until your loose nightshirt starts to hang off one of your shoulders. The way you’re falling over like he said something hilarious is starting to irritate him. Like really fucking bad.

When you finally stop laughing, you notice the deep scowl your friend is directing at you. Even as he's directing a scornful glare at you, he looks unfairly pretty. The thought makes you huff out one last weak laugh. “What? Don’t give me that look.”

His jaw flexes, tongue poking the inside of his cheek. “You believed fucking Mingi when he said the same thing.”

Your nonchalant shrug makes Seonghwa’s eye twitch in annoyance. He’s not offended, not exactly. It’s just the slightest bit irritating that he’s literally in your room, on your bed, alone, and you still can’t think of him in a way he desperately wants you to.

“Because it’s obvious that Mingi knows what he’s doing. Like, you can tell he’s a beast in bed.”

“And what makes you think I’m not?”

It’s weird that he’s so insistent on getting you to believe him. Seonghwa usually doesn’t care about what anyone thinks since he claims to know himself the best, so other people’s opinions don’t really matter. Apparently, he isn’t too different from all the other guys you’ve met. It’s kind of cute.

“I just— Who cares?” You splutter, suddenly feeling flustered with how he’s staring at you so intently.

“Tell me why.”

You nearly recoil in shock at how assertive and dominant Seonghwa sounds. His tone and hard eyes makes something inside you flutter with desire. Taken aback by your own indecent reaction, you clear your throat and avert your eyes back to the paused sex scene out of a movie you can't remember the name of.

If you could go back in time and pick a different movie that hadn’t started this entire thing, you would.

“Fine.” You sigh, willing yourself to calm down. “I just think that most pretty boys aren’t able to fuck anyone stupid. That’s all—it’s nothing personal.”

Oh, but it is.

To Seonghwa, who had pictured you writhing and screaming from pleasure under him way too many times to be considered normal, it’s definitely personal.

“I could fuck you stupid.”

His words hang in the air heavily. You expect him to give you that pretty, nonchalant smile of his and tell you that he’s joking. But he doesn’t. In fact, Seonghwa is looking at you with an unmistakable heat and determination in his gaze that has you feeling like prey.

“Whatever.” You force yourself to choke out a laugh, mind already wandering to what it would be like to fuck such a pretty man.

Seonghwa seems unfazed by your dismissal. He stands up from your bed before kneeling at the edge in front of where you’re sitting. You let out a shocked yelp when he grabs your bare legs and yanks you toward him. His eyes are dark as he gazes up at you like he’s going to devour you.

The heat coming from his hands and just having him nestled between your legs makes your cunt throb. It’s embarrassing how fast you’re getting turned on, but you blame it on the fact that it has everything to do that Seonghwa is just so damn pretty.

“H-Hwa.” You actually fucking whimper, sounding completely needy.

“Gonna let me prove it?” He smirks, hands gently caressing your thighs that are unconsciously spreading for him.

“Fine.” You try to sound like you aren’t already soaking, horny mess. “You have to hurry, though. Sannie’s gonna be back soon.”

Seonghwa nearly growls at the mention of your clingy roommate. He trails his hands up the soft skin of your thighs and grips the edges on your panties. You let out a scandalized gasp when he literally rips them off of you. He throws them over his shoulder before flipping up your oversized shirt and exposing your hot cunt to the air.

His groan makes you clench around nothing. Before you can say anything, Seonghwa yanks you forward and smashes his face into your wet pussy. Any and all coherent thoughts are quickly ejected from your mind. You let out a small moan when you feel your friend’s tongue split through your folds, tasting you for the first time.

“Fuck.” Seonghwa moans into your cunt. “I knew you would taste good.”

His words make your brain turn into literal mush because what the fuck? Had he been thinking about what it would be like to eat you out? The mere thought has more juices spilling out of you. Your body’s reaction only spurs Seonghwa on, his hands gripping your thighs tighter and pulling you further on his mouth.

You toss your head back with a moan. All you can feel is his tongue plunging deep inside you. Every time his nose bumps against your throbbing clit, it sends jolt of pleasure up your spine.

“S-Shit, Hwa.” You whimper, hands falling to his messy hair.

Seonghwa smirks into your pussy when you start to tug on his hair. He hums against your leaking hole before latching onto your swollen nub and suckling on it with a lewd slurping sound. Your cries of pleasure sound like music to his ears, and it makes him more determined to have you begging and crying for his cock. Seonghwa is sure your moans would sound even prettier when he’s actually splitting you open with his dick.

“So good.” You mewl as he keeps sucking on your aching bud. “K-Keep doing that.”

Seonghwa starts to plant sloppy kisses on your glistening folds before dragging his tongue up your slit. He repeats the action a few times before he sucks your puffy clit back into his mouth. The sight of your face twisting in pleasure is a sight he’ll never forget. To see the object of his fantasies writhing and shaking from pleasure has his cock straining in his pants, eager to be stuffed into your cunt.

You start to grind your pussy into his face as he keeps licking and fucking you with his tongue. His ravenous movements are like that of a starved man, and soon you feel your abdomen tighten with the need to release.

“I-I think I’m gonna come.” You moan, surprised that he managed to get you so close to an orgasm in such a short amount of time.

Seonghwa groans into your sopping cunt. “Do it, baby. Come all over my tongue. Let me taste you.”

You gasp out his name as a wave of pleasure suddenly washes over you. The tight coil in your stomach snaps as your walls become impossibly tight. Your moan is loud and wanton as you squirt all over your friend’s face.

Seonghwa’s moan sounds animalistic as he presses his tongue flat against your entrance, collecting all your sweet juices and slurping you dry. He’s practically making out with your pussy until there’s none of your addicting cream left to lap up.

“Mhm, baby. You taste so fucking good.”

You’re a trembling mess as he plants gentle kisses on your inner thighs before standing up, your juices covering his chin. The sight of you all fucked out because of him, makes the desire in his gut get more intense.

“Sorry.” You huff out, mind a bit more clear when you see him licking his lips. “I-I’ve– that usually doesn’t happen.”

To be exact, it’s never happened.

“I’ll forgive you.” He sounds sweet as he starts to unbuckle his belt. Seonghwa pulls his shirt off before pulling his pants down until he’s left in only his underwear, impressive bulge standing out. “But only if you do it again—on my cock this time.”

You can’t be mad that he looks so smug because he’s just so fucking pretty. He becomes even more attractive after sliding his underwear off and letting his big cock slap against his lower abdomen. The large organ is intimidatingly long and thick as it throbs and leaks with precum. Your mouth waters, and you can’t be surprised that his cock is a pretty as he is.

Unfortunately, you don’t get to admire it for too long because Seonghwa grabs you and flips you around. You’re propped up on your elbows and knees to support your weight, large shirt bunching at your waist as he arches your back to the angle he wants.

Seonghwa licks his lips as he squeezes and caresses your ass, leaking cock throbbing at the pretty sight of you all ready to get fucked. This is way better than any of his fantasies, and he hopes that this is only the first time of many.

“Such a pretty ass. Maybe you’ll let me fuck it next time.” His sultry voice has you dripping in desperation. “But for now, let’s see how much you can handle, baby.”

A needy, pathetic mewl tumbles out of you as Seonghwa presses his oozing tip against your entrance. He rubs and taps it against your folds, enjoying how you’re desperately rutting your hips back. Just minutes ago you were adamant that he wasn’t capable of getting this sort of reaction.

Your mouth drops open in pleasure when he slowly eases his cock into you. “O-Oh, fuck.” Your moan is weak as your eyes slowly close.

Seonghwa looks down to where his fat cock is pushing into your tightness, stretching you wider than ever before and claiming your pretty cunt as his. The sight is mesmerising, and he can’t stop the deep moan he lets out from it. His cock throbs wildly as he finally bottoms out. You’re so hot and tight that he might actually blow his load before he even gets the chance to fuck you properly.

His cock is hitting your deepest spot, and you let out a wanton moan as you tightly grip your sheets. “Fuck me!”

A carnal desire takes over Seonghwa when he hears your needy cry. He’s never been able to deny you anything, and he doesn’t plan to start now. Immediately, he begins to pummel in and out of you, fucking your sopping cunt roughly. Obscene noises fill the room as his pelvis slams against your ass.

Seonghwa can’t take his eyes off your pretty little pussy and how it swallows his cock so perfectly. His heavy balls are being stained with your arousal as they slap against your puffy clit. He becomes more ravenous with every rough thrust.

“You’re already soaking my cock, baby. I fucking knew you wouldn’t be able to get enough.” He grunts as he grabs your hips, quickly growing obsessed with how you feel around him.

It's true, and you can't deny it. Not that you want to. His cock is stretching you out so good that you can’t think straight.

“So fucking good.” You mewl as you deepen your arch so he can fuck you deeper.

One of Seonghwa’s hands trails down your body to squeeze your ass while the other goes around your waist to rub your sensitive clit. He pounds into you harder, loving the cries and whimpers you’re letting out every time he fucks his cock into your juicy cunt. You’re throwing yourself back on him to meet his thrusts, loving how his big cock splits you open with every snap of his hips.

“Gonna ruin this sweet little pussy so only I fit.” Seonghwa growls, spanking your ass harshly.

His words make you clench on his cock and coat it with more of your cream. You whine and cry out for him, already feeling any thoughts that aren’t about his big dick being fucked out of you. His hips start to snap with a rough precision you claimed he wasn’t capable of, and you wonder how longer it’ll take him to realize that he already proved you wrong.

Seonghwa feels your cunt start to tighten around his cock like it doesn’t want to let go. With the way you’re starting to tremble, he can tell you’re close to falling apart. But he wants to see your face when you do. It’s the thing he’s wanted the most since he met you.

You cry out in protest when Seonghwa abruptly pulls out his hard cock of your pussy. Before you can beg him to put it back in, he’s flipping you on your back. He gently caresses your shaking thighs with a heated gaze. Then, he’s removing the big shirt you have on, dark eyes taking in every inch of your exposed body.

“Hwa.” You plead through a needy mewl. “Don’t tease.”

The look on your face makes his cock throb painfully. You look absolutely fucked out, and to think he hasn’t even made you come yet. Seonghwa licks his lips and teases your soaking entrance with his leaking tip. His smirk is deviant, but so hot that all you can do is buck your hips desperately. Unlike your initial thoughts, your friend doesn’t make you wait.

It’s satisfying how Seonghwa’s jaw snaps open as he watches your pretty pussy slowly get filled with his thick cock. The erotic sight drives him to start fucking into you again. He lets out a deep groan when he sees your cream coat his entire length as you squeeze him tighter than anyone ever has.

Pleasure consumes you and licks up your entire body as Seonghwa pounds his cock into your hot cunt. Your moans turn into loud cries that mix into the lewd squelching coming from where you two are connected when he presses your legs to your chest. The new position allows him to fuck into you deeper than before.

All coherent thoughts are slowly dissipating every time his cock pounds against your sweet spot. A carnal desire takes over and has you begging for more through broken whimpers. “Fuh-Fuck. Fill me up, Hwa.”

The moan Seonghwa lets out is as pretty as he is. Your wanton pleas trigger something primal inside of him, and he feels himself going feral at the thought of breeding you.

“You want my cum, baby?” He coos sweetly, heavy balls slapping against your ass in sync with your wanton moans.

It’s embarrassing how fast you nod, back arching as you feel a wave of pleasure start to consume you. His cock is throbbing inside you, and all you can think about is milking him for all that he’s worth. “Want it so bad!”

“Fuck.” Seonghwa sucks in a sharp breath. “Pretty little pussy’s so tight for me.”

Your filthy moans are quickly stifled when Seonghwa bends down to kiss you. His movements are passionate and desperate, teeth tugging at your bottom lips. It feels like your brain has turned into static with all the euphoric sensations consuming you. All you can focus on is his cock splitting you open and the sounds of your skin slapping against his.

When Seonghwa pulls back, he maintains eye contact. As you stare into his eyes, you can see that they’re filled with an emotion that goes beyond lust and arousal. It makes your heart pound for an entirely different reason. His gentle stare is a great contrast to the rough snap of his hips.

That affectionate look is all it takes for you to squirt all over your friend once again. Your cry is loud as you cover his abdomen with your orgasm.

“Fuck, that’s it, baby. Make a mess all over me.” Seonghwa moans as he watches you go dumb on his cock.

The sight of your pretty face slack with pleasure has him fucking into your cervix savagely. Your cunt is gripping his cock so tightly that it doesn’t take long for him to release his thick load inside you. His thrusts grow sloppy as he starts to fill you with ropes of cum. Your soppy cunt is overflowing with so much of his seed that it bubbles around the base of his cock and leaks down to your ass—a filthy sight Seonghwa will never forget.

You’re both panting as he slowly lets go of your legs. Seonghwa watches you carefully, but doesn’t make a move to pull out of you. He wants to keep you plugged and full of his cum, and by how you slowly wrap your legs around his waist, it seems like you feel the same way.

When you come back to your senses, you nervously lick your lips when you see Seonghwa’s smirk. “What?”

“You’re a squirter?” His words sound teasing.

“N-No.” You pant out, unsure of how to tell him he’s the only one capable of evoking such a reaction from your body.

Apparently, your friend only sees this as another one of your challenges. He caresses your soft thighs as a challenging look crosses his face.

“Do it again.”

Seonghwa starts to move again, his aching cock sliding against your walls with ease as he fucks his cum deeper inside you. He unhooks your legs from his waist so he can place them on his shoulders. From this angle he can see your filthy cunt being split open on his thick cock.

“I can’t.” You manage to moan out, loving how his dick drags against your velvety walls with precision. “God, Hwa. I-It’s too much.”

“You say that, but your pretty little pussy keeps squeezing my cock like it doesn’t want to let go.” He says as his thumb starts to rub slow circles on your throbbing clit. “I’m sure you can squirt for me again if I give you another load, hm?”

Seonghwa’s smirk is cocky when he feels your cunt tighten around him again. He loves how you don’t deny it. In fact, you whine out a quiet more as he continues to fuck you. His thumb is still stimulating your puffy bud as his hips snap into you. Clearly, your friend is enjoying fucking you to the point of delirium. You can’t complain because you’re enjoying it just as much.

“Tight little cunt was made to take my cock.” He grunts as his eyes start to roll to the back of his head.

You can’t fathom how it feels like he knows your body more than you do. His cock keeps ramming against your g-spot, and all you can do is let out moans and mewls of pleasure. You’re sure it won’t be long until you come again.

A ring of white cream surrounds the base of his cock and slowly drips down his balls and on to the sheets. Seonghwa knows you won’t ever be able to forget how good he’s fucked you, and he also knows that he’s potentially ruined you for any other man. Not that he would let you go after feeling your pussy.

“God, baby. Your sweet pussy’s already gonna make me come again.” Seonghwa groans, thrusts becoming tougher and sharper. “Gonna let me come inside again?”

“Yes!” You squeal, already gone dumb again. “Come inside me!”

The overstimulation has lewd and filthy sounds coming out of you, but you can’t help it. Especially not when you look down and see how his big cock is piercing into your tight cunt. You gasp and jolt as he continues to ram into you like you’re nothing more than a hole. Your legs start to tremble as your third orgasm abruptly hits you.

Like the two previous times, your toes curl as you uncontrollably squirt on his cock.

“Such a good girl.” Seonghwa praises you with his pretty smile. “Here’s your reward.”

He slams into you a few more time before he spills his thick seed inside you, filling you to the brim. Your eyes roll back as your pussy contracts around Seonghwa’s pulsing cock. The feeling of his hot cum filling your insides is so fucking good that all you can do is mewl his name weakly and pathetically. It feels like your mind is clouded with a euphoric haze preventing you from thinking straight.

Soon, Seonghwa pulls out of your creamy cunt, his cum dripping out of you and staining the sheets beneath you. His eyes darken at the sight of your sensitive folds covered with his seed. A low growl builds in his chest as he swoops down to smash his lips on to yours. You moan into his mouth as he parts your lips with his tongue to deepen the kiss.

When he pulls away from you, he gives you another lascivious smirk. “We’re not done yet, baby.”

It shouldn’t excite you this much that he’s not done. You’re literally dripping with his cum, but you still want more. His hard, throbbing cock is resting against your sloppy pussy, and you start to gyrate your hips to get him to fuck you again. Maybe you’re already addicted, but it doesn’t matter because Seonghwa seems to feel the exact same way.

A quiet moan rips from your throat when he starts to fuck his cock between your messy lips. You cry out from the sensation, still sensitive from the other orgasms he’s ripped out of you. Slowly and teasingly, Seonghwa drags the tip of his fat cock down to your entrance, moaning when more of his cum seeps out of you. The sight is something he’ll never forget and always try to recreate.

The noises you let out are so cute and needy that they make his cock throb painfully. Seonghwa slowly eases into you for a third time, base of his heavy cock touching your core and big balls resting against your ass. Your pussy is pulsing around him as you leak with your mixed releases.

You can feel Seonghwa’s cock so deep inside you that it’s dizzying and almost comparible to being drunk. Vaguely, you think this is what it must be like to be cockdrunk.

“So fucking pretty. All for me.” Seonghwa groans hotly.

The breath is almost knocked out of you as he drags his dick back before ramming it back into the depths of your wet pussy. He begins to pound into you, the sound of skin on skin quickly filling the room.

Seonghwa stares down at your pretty face while he fucks you into oblivion, making sure to memorize every aspect. From the way your eyes roll into your skull when he spears his big cock into you to how your jaw falls slack so quickly. It’s all for him, and he knows he wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world.

“S-Seonghwa!” You squeal, toes curling and limbs starting to tremble.

The familiar sensation gets worse as your friend continues to fuck into your guts, stroking your walls with his thick cock. He’s slamming into your sweet spot with a savage like pace that you know it won’t be long before you fall apart again.

“That’s it, baby. Cream all over my cock.” Seonghwa groans as you mewl at his filthy words.

As if his voice and words are a trigger, your body starts to react. His harsh thrusts make you start to convulse, effectively soaking his cock. As if it’s all you’re capable of giving him, you weakly come on his aching dick with a choked moan. Your tits are bouncing with every thrust, body twitching as Seonghwa roughly fucks you through your orgasm.

“Want your cum.” You mewl, and Seonghwa simply begins to fuck you quicker.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’m gonna pump you full until you’re leaking with my cum for days.” Seonghwa promises through possessive growls as he sloppily fucks into your soiled cunt.

Seonghwa suddenly stills deep inside your pussy, spilling his hot seed inside of you. Thick, white ropes of cum paint your walls until it leaves his cock dripping. He nearly slumps on top of you, but then he rolls over and onto his back, taking you with him. His cock stays inside you, keeping you plugged with his many loads.

“How are you feeling?” The soft voice you recognize is back as Seonghwa gently caresses your naked back.

You sigh into his neck, feeling completely sated. “Full.”

His pretty laugh makes you smile, and you can’t help but think that Mingi was right when he told you that thing about pretty boys.