#(which i do have my issues with? like why on earth was this woman writing them like they were for sure going to be a thing when lucasfilm

[sebastianstangirl01]

✧˖° lifeline | rafe cameron

pairing - rafe cameron x routledge!reader

warnings - violence (jj decking rafe), language, pregnancy (audrey’s pregnant instead of sarah), almost drowning

summary - after rafe, who just so happens to be your baby daddy, offers you and your friends a boat ride to Moraco tensions rise between the untrusting group. when an intense storm hits out of no where you get swept off the front of the boat by an enormous wave and rafe has to make a decision. save the woman he loves and mother of his child or ride out the storm to find groff.

authors note - well…..i’m back! kinda. sorry for literally dropping off the face of the earth, i’ve been more activish writing wise on wattpad lately. so sorry for not writing any on here! since buzzcut rafe and just drew in general are literally daddy i knew i had to write for him! i’m sure you’ve seen this trope like a million times, but that’s because it’s such a bomb trope and never gets old! at least in my opinion! with that being said, because it’s so popular it’s inevitable that these types of fics will probably be similar but i’ll try my very best to be as original as possible!! oh, also since i hate having to write y/n as the name i’ll be using is audrey since that’s my name and who doesn’t want to imagine themselves as rafe’s girl?? but for real, feel free to imagine any name you want! i hope you enjoy!!

not proofread!!

✧˖°

when rafe showed up and convinced shoupe to let you all track down groff, you thought you were dreaming. but here you are sitting on a container of god knows what stuck on a boat with your older brother (by 9 months), best friends, and ex/baby daddy who you haven’t spoken to since you found out you were pregnant 2 weeks ago.

you paced circles around the large bathroom, chewing on the side of your finger anxiously. the timer winding down on your phone seemed to be taking a lot longer than 3 minutes and the test flipped upside down on the sink seemed to be haunting you.

it all started about a week ago. you noticed some unusual changes in your everyday routine, starting with the fact that you found yourself bending over the toilet seat every morning puking your guts up.

the thought of being pregnant didn’t even click in your mind until you realized the last time you had your period was so long ago you couldn’t even remember the exact date. panic involuntarily filled your mind when you thought about your situation.

you and rafe have been off and on for as long as you could remember. him using and smoking all the time was one of the main reasons why, he wasn’t the same when he was high and he honestly scared you. when peterkin was killed you thought there was no way you’d ever be able to look at rafe the same again.

but there’s just something about him that keeps drawing you in, he’s different around you. even more so now that he’s quit abusing drugs, he makes you feel like the only girl in the world. the issue still stands though, he treats your brother and friends like the scum of the earth and nothing you say changes his behavior.

it’s exhausting having your boyfriend and friends hate each other to the point where you can’t even bring rafe around your home without someone starting a fist fight.

that’s what caused your breakup this time, you couldn’t stand the animosity between everyone and what sealed the deal was jj starting a brawl with rafe that ended with both of them having to get stitches. you felt responsible for them getting hurt and put your own feelings aside to do what you thought was best for everyone as a whole.

you and rafe broke up. but no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t stay away. which led to your current predicament.

the timer finally went off, snapping you out of your thoughts and stopping you in your tracks. you’re heart was beating so fast you thought it would burst from your chest and land in the claw foot tub across the room. biting the bullet you grabbed the test and held it tightly in your hand, not having the heart to turn it over yet.

“hey-” rafe pushed open the bathroom door making you jump in surprise

you had thought he left for work already but here he was standing in front of you with furrowed brows as his gaze landed on the test in your hand.

“rafe.” you started but he cut you off

“what the fuck is that?” rafe snapped in shock

“i uh, i’m late.” was all you could mutter as you bit your lip nervously, recognizing the cold look on rafe’s face

“and?” rafe raised his brows waiting for your answer impatiently

“I haven’t been able to look.” you admitted and rafe huffed walking closer to you and yanking the test out of your hand

the tension in the room was suffocating as rafe flipped the test over, you were terrified as you studied his face closely looking for any sign of what the test read.

“fuck.” rafe whispered before dropping the test to the ground his hands immediately coming up to press against his forehead as he turned away from you

you slowly bent down and your hands shook as you picked the test up, flipping it over your heart dropped into your stomach.

pregnant.

tears filled your eyes and your chest filled with panic, you had truly never been more scared in your life than you were in this moment. how were you supposed to raise a baby? you only just turned 19 and your home is about to be swept out from under you by greedy kooks. and you aren’t even with the father of your baby at the moment.

“holy shit.” rafe’s voice broke you out of your thoughts and you looked over at him

he was standing with his hands squeezing the counter top harshly, the veins in his neck looked like they were about to burst.

“rafe?” you whispered

“i cant do this right now.” rafe shook his head before storming out of the room

the front door slamming downstairs startled you making you jump, then it hit you. you were pregnant and alone and the tears slid down your cheeks.

that was the last you had seen or heard from rafe. when you told your brother he was less than thrilled, it took everything for you to keep him from tracking rafe down and killing him. but john b eventually realized that you needed him to be there for you so he put his feelings aside and focused on you and his future niece or nephew.

your friends were about the same story, especially jj who has always been a loose cannon. but at the end of the day they rallied around you and you knew they would be there for you and be the best aunts and uncles to the baby.

but right about now you wished you had just gone with shoupe because you were being hit with motion sickness to the extreme and felt like you were about to throw up everywhere.

“hey, what’s up?” kie frowned kneeling down in front of you, sarah immediately following

“you ok?” sarah placed her hand on your knee

it took you a second to answer having to take a few deep breaths until the nausea subsided before you blinked down at the pair.

“just nauseous.” you held a hand to your stomach

“maybe there’s some ginger ale or something in the kitchen.” kie said and you nodded the thought of the fizzy drink sounded appealing

before she could stand to go searching for anything a hand appeared in front of your face holding a can of ginger ale. you knew that veiny hand and gold ring anywhere but still looked up and saw rafe looking at you in concern.

that was the most concern he had shown you since you found out you were pregnant.

“thanks.” you smiled softly and he just nodded before disappearing back inside

you saw the look exchanged between your two best friends but ignored it as you eagerly cracked open the can before humming in delight as you took sips of the drink.

“ok, so I think it’s time we talk about the elephant on the boat.” jj started making everyone exchange confused looks. “rafe, guys.”

“what about him?” sarah furrowed her brows

“what do you mean, what about him? do we really trust that he’s not going to screw us over? shit, i wouldn’t be surprised if he was working with those psycho mercenaries and was leading us to our deaths.” jj rambled

“come on jayge, you know none of us trust him but he did save our asses. as much as i hate to admit it.” kie reminded her boyfriend who just rolled his eyes

“and that automatically excuses everything he’s done?” jj scoffed

“hey, she’s not saying that. you know i’d love to just chuck him into the ocean but so far he hasn’t tried anything. i say we play it cool then ditch him the second we dock.” pope spoke levelheadedly and the others reluctantly nodded in agreement

“but until then, what do we do?” sarah crossed her arms over her chest and leaned into john b’s side

“you know him best, aud. can we trust him to keep his word?” john b turned to his sister who had stayed quiet for the whole conversation

“i believe he’ll keep his word.” you answered after a second and john b studied you for a moment before nodding

“ok, we’ll just stay cool for now.” john b looked between everyone who reluctantly nodded

well, that didn’t last long. one second you were moving inside the cabin to get out of the sun and the next you were kneeling on the ground cradling rafe’s unconscious form after jj sucker punched him in the face.

“what the fuck jj!” you exclaimed in shock

“what? we can’t trust him, i know he’s your baby daddy and you two have some weird relationship thing but i’m not taking any chances.” jj shrugged as he grabbed a rope

“if he didn’t do it i was going to.” pope commented

you just signed and rubbed your forehead at their stupidity and stubbornness before gently stroking rafe’s cheek that was already bruising.

“i’m surrounded by idiots.” you mumbled to yourself

john b and jj carried rafe down into a small utility room after tying his hands together, shutting and locking the door behind them.

knowing there was nothing you could say to get the group to change their minds about rafe, you and cleo got to work in the kitchen looking around for something edible that could be fixed for dinner.

“what about this?” cleo turned to you holding a box of spaghetti noodles

“i guess you can never go wrong with spaghetti.” you shrugged with a small smile

you also knew that spaghetti was a safe food for you, it was one of the only foods that didn’t make you sick at the moment.

john b and pope were out on the deck trying to catch some fish, but you knew you’d be having spaghetti for dinner regardless since you don’t like seafood. jj and kie were up in the cabin making sure the boat was on course and sarah was sunbathing since there wasn’t really much else to do. of course she had offered to help cleo cook and let you relax, but you needed a distraction right now.

while cleo started boiling water, you started working on the sauce. surprisingly the kitchen was pretty nicely stocked and you were able to find a jar of marinara sauce and a bunch of different herbs and seasonings.

humming to yourself you stirred the sauce in the pan in front of you, listening to the playful banter from your friends.

after everyone ate they all agreed that it would be safest for you to be the one to bring rafe dinner. even though both jj and pope voted on letting him starve, everyone else agreed that it wasn’t right. you were nervous to approach him one on one, unsure of what he would say or do when he saw you.

getting your nerves under control, you took a deep breath before shifting the tray of food so you could push open the door. rafe blinked up at you lazily, the image brought you back to the mornings when you woke up together.

“hey, i thought you might be hungry.” you spoke softly closing the door behind you

you stepped forward and knelt down beside him, sitting the tray of food in front of him. rafe looked down at the tray in distain before looking back up at you.

“you gonna feed it to me? or am i supposed to just shove my face in it like a fuckin animal?” rafe snapped making you flinch, which he noticed and immediately took a deep breath. “baby, untie me. please.”

“don’t call me that, rafe. not when you’ve spent the past few weeks ignoring me.” you frowned in frustration

“i’m sorry. i just don’t know what to think, this is a really big thing.” rafe mumbled pulling uncomfortably at his restraints

“i know it’s a big thing rafe, trust me. i’m the one waking up every morning at the crack of dawn to puke my guts out.” you couldn’t help but snap, your emotions from the past couple of weeks overflowing

you had been so upset since finding out you were pregnant and you hate it. you hate that your first thought about your own child was a negative one. you’ve always wanted to be a mother, it’s something you dreamed about since your next door neighbor had a baby when you were 6.

so knowing that you have felt like your baby is a burden for the first part of your pregnancy makes you feel so incredibly guilty. and it’s all because of rafe, of the way he reacted to the news by up and leaving you all alone.

you want your child to have a father, and as much as you hate to admit it you want that father to be rafe. because regardless of everything, you love him.

“look, we can talk about this ok? let’s just talk about it, but first untie me.” rafe held his hands out to you

“i can’t rafe, they don’t trust you and i can’t say i blame them. you’ve never given them a reason to.” you shook your head

“i talked shoupe out of arresting all of you, i got you on this boat.” rafe scoffed

“you also beat pope, shot sarah, strangled kie, framed john b for murder, and started how many fights with jj? not to mention how you’ve continued to terrorize them in general. why would they trust you rafe?” you shook your head moving to stand

“i’m sorry. i’m sorry, audrey. ok, i’ve been a shitty guy, a shitty brother and boyfriend. i know that, but i’m getting my shit together alright? for you, i’m getting my shit together for you and the baby.” rafe rambled and you couldn’t help the way your heart fluttered at his words

especially at his mention of the baby, this being the first time you’d ever heard him acknowledge it.

“I hope you are rafe, and i’m happy for you. but you need to change for yourself too, not just me and not just our baby.” you said casting him one last look before leaving ignoring his calls from behind you

things changed so fast. one second, you were sitting next to pope trying to ignore your guilt at ignoring rafe while everyone ate and the next there was a huge clap of thunder.

the night sky was black but the swirling clouds and flashes of lightning were alarmingly clear. the ocean became harsh and unforgiving, aggressive waves slammed into the side of the boat sending it rocking back and forth wildly.

john b, accompanied by pope and jj immediately ran for the cabin to try to get control of the boat while the girls held on for dear life.

you felt a wave of fear overcome you, not just for your own life, but for the lives of everyone on the boat including the baby in your belly. of course, john b and sarah had survived sailing into a storm, but it wasn’t anywhere near as intense as the storm they are in now.

after a particularly harsh wave collided with the side of the boat, you were knocked out of your seat and hit the ground hard.

“shit!” you exclaimed trying to balance as you pushed yourself to your knees

“are you ok?” sarah grabbed your hand and pulled you to her protectively

“this isn’t good. we’re fucked, aren’t we?” you gulped holding sarah’s hand and the bottom of the table tightly

you looked around at the girls, who all had similar looks of fear on their faces, even cleo who was always calm and collected. pope rushed back down to you guys, explaining that they decided there was no way of outrunning the storm. that they just had to go through it.

sarah and kie went off to find jj and john b, not wanting to be too far from them which left you, cleo, and pope in the small sitting area to hold down the fort.

“hey! let me out! audrey! sarah!” your head suddenly snapped towards the door across the room that led to the room rafe was being kept in

you couldn’t leave him in there all alone, there was no telling how scared he was trapped in there having no idea what was going on. only being able to feel the way the boat thrashed back and forth.

pope, recognizing the look on your face after so many years of friendship immediately shook his head in protest.

“no! no, audrey you can’t let him out!” pope reached for you but you shrugged him off as you ran towards the kitchen area

“audrey! come on, girl! don’t!” cleo exclaimed

“i can’t just leave him there to die! he’s the father of my child, and i still love him. i’m sorry!” you gave them an apologetic look before grabbing a knife out of the sink and running tot he door ignoring your friends shouts from behind you

your legs shook from the effort it took to stay on your feet, the boat rocked back and forth harshly as the enormous waves tossed them around like a pinball.

you practically busted down the door and fell against the sink, somehow miraculously you managed to not stag yourself in the process. rafe was pulling on his restrains and you saw water had already leaked into the room making your eyes widen.

“baby, cut me loose.” rafe broke you out of your trance

“i got you.” you rushed over to him and cautiously began cutting the ropes

“careful!” rafe scolded when you accidentally nicked the skin on his forearm

“i’m trying! just, stay still i’ve never done this before!” you fired back

finally you were able to cut through the ropes and rafe waisted no time pulling you into his arms holding you tightly. you melted into his chest, momentarily forgetting the terror of the situation.

“thank you.” rafe sighed into your hair

“i’d never leave you.” you mumbled squeezing his waist

the two of you pulled away and looked at each other, silently promising to have a long conversation, when you weren’t battling a dangerous storm of course.

“i need to get to john b. sarah’s with him, come on!” you abruptly pulled away, now that you knew rafe was ok you had to find your brother

you ran out of the door hearing rafe curse before following behind you, calling your name. the unfortunate thing was that to get up to the cabin from your position you had to first go across the deck.

the wind was so strong it almost knocked you off your feet as you stepped onto the deck, the rain pelted down onto you mixed with the water that had been sloshed over the edge of the boat.

“john b!” you exclaimed, shielding your eyes as you tried to walk forward

“audrey!” john b yelled with wide eyes as he took in your small figure in the storm he, followed by sarah, jj, and kie rushed out onto the upper deck right outside the cabin.

just as you made a move towards them a large wave came out of no where and slammed into the side of the boat knocking you to the ground. your skin scuffed against the ground and you yelped at the feeling of a jagged piece of metal slashing your hip.

rafe had just burst onto the deck when he saw you on the ground, as he was about to run to you he heard sarah scream your name.

“audrey!” sarah screamed in horror as the lightning in the sky revealed a monster wave approaching them

you screamed, knowing there was no way you’d be able to make it to safety in time and tried your best to clutch onto something. before you knew it you felt your body being hit hard by a wall of water, sending you skidding across the ground. your hands slipped and slid as you tried to grab onto something, but it was no use as you felt yourself suddenly falling off the back of the boat.

you didn’t even have time to scream as you’re body collided with the harsh and unforgiving ocean water, your body was pulled underwater by the rough current. you had been swimming in the ocean your whole life, yet you had never experienced something quit like this before.

it felt like there were hands gripping your body trying to keep you underwater, but you fought as hard as you could. when you were finally able to break the surface you did so with a big gasp, eagerly sucking in air as you fought against the waves.

“help! rafe! john b! jj!” you screamed thrashing in the water

when rafe saw you fall overboard his heart stopped and it was like his body was in autopilot. he ran forward and grabbed the lifebuoy that was hanging on the side of the boat.

sarah locked her teary eyes on her brother, her heart pounding out of her chest at the thought of losing her best friend, and now she sees rafe holding the lifebouy and knows exactly what is going through his head.

“rafe!” sarah yelled not wanting to lose someone else

rafe didn’t hesitate, his mind already made up as he ran to the end of the boat.

“audrey! i’m coming!” rafe yelled before diving into the water

the pogues watched in terror as the two disappeared from their sight, john b dropping to his knees in agony at the potential loss of his sister. the only family he had left. while sarah was in the same position, you were her best friend and now sister in law and rafe was the only family she had left and she had just lost them both.

rafe gasped as he broke the surface, holding onto the bouy tightly he looked around frantically trying to spot you when he saw you clinging to a piece of wood.

“audrey!” rafe yelled before swimming towards you

your head snapped up when you heard rafe’s familiar voice and couldn’t help but sob in relief as you saw him swimming towards you.

“rafe!” you started swimming to meet him halfway

when you were within arms reach, rafe pulled you into his arms and held you against him and the bouy as tight as he could. you cried as you clung to him and rafe tried his best to push his fear aside for your sake.

“you came for me. you came for me.” you gasped kicking your legs to stay above the water

“i’ll always come for you. always. it’s going to be ok, baby. just don’t let go.” rafe demanded and you nodded

the storm raged around you and the boat disappeared from your sight, nothing around but the vast stretch of the ocean leaving you with nothing but fear and anxiety. but at least you had rafe, you knew he would do whatever he could to protect you and that’s what kept you going as the two of you clutched onto each other tightly and rode out the storm.

the first thing you recognized was how quiet it was around you, the next was the body laying beside you. you blinked your eyes open and coughed feeling some of the water you inhaled trickle out of your mouth. hands grabbed your face and you blinked up to see rafe’s soaked face hovering above you.

“there she is, wake up for me baby.” rafe sighed in relief as he pulled you into his arms

“are we alive?” you asked clutching onto his arm

“yeah baby, we’re alive. we’re ok.” rafe chuckled kissing your forehead

you sighed leaning against him lazily, as exhaustion filled your aching body. you have no idea how the two of you survived the storm, but you were grateful.

“you saved my life.” you looked up at rafe with teary eyes before grabbing his hand and placing it on your stomach. “you saved us both.”

rafe felt his emotions overpower him as a lone tear slid down his cheek, it was just now hitting him how much he had to lose. if he had been even a second too late he would have lost you. he would’ve lost you and the baby.

he had spent so much time being an idiot, being a terrible person when he could’ve spent that time loving you. no more, he made that vow to himself right in that moment. he made a promise to himself that he would do right by you and this baby, nothing else mattered. not money or kooks vs pogues, nothing. only you and the future the two of you had together with your child.

“i will always save you. i love you so much, audrey, and i and so sorry for the way i have treated you. for the way i have treated your friends. for everything. this has made me realize that you are the most important thing to me in the world and i am going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you and to our child. if you give me a chance, i swear to you that i will be the best man i can be.” rafe cradled your face in his hands

as you looked into his eyes you saw nothing but love and sincerity, and it was what you had been wanting from him for as long as you can remember. seeing him in this moment you know how serious he is and after he literally risked his life to save you, you know that he is the one.

“i love you too, rafe. i want to be a family.” you leaned your forehead against his nudging his nose with yours

“i want that too. more than anything.” rafe said before leaning forward and connecting your lips

in that moment you knew that no matter what came out of this new treasure hunt that you would always have rafe by your side and that your child would grow up with a father. and that’s all you could hope for.

[dameronswife]

girls when poe has a personality that isn't being obsessed with a man he's had maybe ten scenes with in the first two movies and has his own agency and doesn't always agree with his mentor instead of bending over backwards to constantly say she's right (when she isn't):

[from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras]

OK, the absence of female Rohirrim political leaders and warriors from the Middle Earth historical record…let’s get into it.

There’s a reason this remains a significant point of debate in the fandom, and it’s because the source material is confusing. Clearly, there is/was a role for women in public life in Rohan that is unlike anything we see in the other realms of Men (or hobbits or dwarves!). The concept of shieldmaidens has obviously been in their culture for a long time. Éowyn is one. Someone thought it worth their time to train her to fight, and the people (speaking through the voice of Háma) know her to be “fearless” and trust her to be their leader. The men of Elfhelm’s éored have no problem with her presence among them in Gondor, and though people are shocked to find her injured on the field, no one is scandalized by the very idea that she was there. So there are Rohirrim all over this story who are behaving in ways that suggest female leadership and female martial ability are not inherently surprising or objectionable to them.

And yet…there is not a single named female Rohirrim either before or after Éowyn in any part of the text of LOTR that we know to have wielded any actual political authority or who fought in battle. If those women existed, why/how are they not in the historical record?

The most satisfying answer TO ME is tied up in which historical records we’re looking at. By the framing device of LOTR, the text that we’re reading is ostensibly the story as documented in the Red Book of Westmarch. The appendices, where we find histories and legends of Rohan, were meant to have been written by the hobbits with some contributions by Aragorn, Gimli and others — but NONE OF THE AUTHORS WERE ROHIRRIM. Yes, they surely spoke to Éomer and Éowyn as the sections on the House of Eorl were written, but the sibs didn’t write the text themselves. Outsiders did. So the text does not represent a direct Rohirrim version of Rohan history. THAT version doesn’t exist in writing anywhere, because that’s not how the Rohirrim operate. They preserve their histories and legends through song, poetry and storytelling. Which brings me to this line from Appendix A:

”Many lords and warriors, and many fair and valiant women, are named in the songs of Rohan that still remember the north.” [emphasis added]

That’s confirmation right there that Rohan history as the Rohirrim practice it DOES include “many” women. And if they have songs that remember many women of the north (i.e., their direct ancestors among the Northmen) then surely their more recent songs, poems and stories would also cover the women of more recent times. So the problem is not that the Rohirrim don’t remember women in their (oral) historical record. The book tells us that they do. Maybe the problem is that the men of outside cultures who wrote the book — those who notably came from societies where women had no comparable roles — didn’t choose to include those parts when they created this written historical record. They noted that the Rohirrim name many women in their histories, and then they proceeded to only tell us about some of the men. That’s a skill issue for the authors, not for Rohan.

So in my mind, an average Rohirrim could talk to you about great warrior heroines of the Northmen or the exploits of some of Rohan’s powerful queens and princesses.* That’s not to say that Rohan was drowning in such figures, but they existed and people knew about them. It means there was enough of them and enough awareness of them to create space in their culture to have those views that we see in the main story (i.e., a willingness to accept both a woman as a leader of the people and a woman as a rider in the army when those things were presented to them). It reconciles the strange contradiction between the apparent culture in Rohan and their history as it was given to us as readers. Make of that what you will, but I like it for me!

*And yes, this could presumably explain the omission of Héra from WOTR in the telling of Helm Hammerhand’s story, though that gets complicated by the fact that WOTR contradicts the published Helm story in a few significant ways. (Which, for the record, I am fine with, but it means I view WOTR as more of an AU than a literal extension of the source text!)

[v3nusxsky]

Aaa I loved the Larissa x Lesso fic! Could you please write a fic where it's late at night and Lesso's refusing to sleep because she has to do paperwork and Larissa is trying to force her to sleep? Could be smut or fluff it's up to you!

Distractions

*authors note~ I absolutely adore writing for these two women, and on that note, Happy valentines to everyone*

Trigger warnings~ smutty stress relief bratty subby Leo dom mommy Larissa praise kink teasing nudes being sent, masturbation degrading kink, body writing orgasms denial if you squint, use of safe words cause we love consent use of toys restraints the heel of her foot 🫨 dom drop! after care etc

Prompt~see ask^^^^^

Larissa Weems likes things to be on a schedule, to plan her day and leave just a little time in her day to relax. Normally that consists of her red headed wife curling her body into Larissa’s as they just relax on their bed. It’s Larissa’s favourite part of her day and makes waking up early the next morning bearable at most. Only recently Wednesday Addams has got in the way of this time by causing no end of mischief equating into a lot of late nights in her off sorting out the paperwork. Tonight was the first night that Wednesday hadn’t been up to her usual antics and Larissa would have to remember to thank Miss Sinclair for that. No tonight, it seemed her wife was going off her schedule.

Living at Nevermore with Larissa was easy for Leonora, to leave the school for good and evil and pass her title down to someone younger and ready for the challenge. Clarissa Dovey doing the same a few weeks prior to the red head meant Lenora could plan her move. Now a year later she had married her blonde principle and even got to teach at Nevermore for potions. Life being ever so perfect now, until Wednesday came. Now Leonora has no ill wishes to the child, but with Wednesday came Mortica. And that was someone Leonora would have no issues taking to her old doom room for a private chat. However, it’s not what Larissa wants so she stays just on the tail end of civil for her wife. That being said, recently Larissa has been too busy, they hardly see each other anymore so if acting up was going to get her attention then Lesso wouldn’t shy away from the challenge.

The plan was simple, she’d ignore Larissa for a while, it shouldn’t be that hard to drown herself into her marking. If all went to plan they’d be reconciling with one another before the nights out. What Leo didn’t count on was Larissa catching onto her little plan and deciding to play the red head at her own game.

From Larissa hinting at her wife it was time to head to the bedroom from the door way, to some fluffy texts promising kisses and cuddles, to some flirty texts. Leonora was staying strong. It didn’t matter that Larissa had offered what seemed to be a perfect night because Leonora had other plans. That’s when the small ding of her phone brought the woman out of thought.

“Darling🩵” would only be one person and that one person was in the room next to her, so why on earth would she be texting Leonora? A quick glance at the small screen showed and image that was simply heavenly to look at. Larissa adorning an emerald skimpy set of lace that was showing the perfect amount of skin to drive Leonora insane. The set happened to be one of her favourites on her wife. With no response came another picture, this time Larissa adorned a pale blue set which showed more than the first and a hand teasing her right bud, her face just out of view. God damn this woman and her ability to leave Leonora stunned. As her brain tried to form a witty response another text came in.

“If only I had my good little slut on her knees enjoying pleasing mommy”

“Well looks like you’re not interested so I’ll have to do the job myself dove”

Thinking nothing of her threats and a staying strong Lesso ignored all of this until another message came, only this time a video. Hitting play Lesso quickly felt her jaw drop to the floor, Larissa lay there in scraps of deep purple lace hardly covering anything, phone pointed up towards the mirrors that showed all the sinful things she was doing to herself as Lesso sat in the other room. Instinct had the red head making her way to their bedroom just as Larissa mewled out in pleasure.

Panting as she came back from her high Larissa was relieved to see her little show didn’t go to waste at all, half the battle was won, Leonora was now in the room and had turned to lock the door. Unsuspecting falling deeper into the trap Larissa had set. “Nice of you to join me darling” the blonde purred from the bed as she lazily licked her fingers that were coated with her juices.

“I-you pretty fuck” stuttered out of her wife causing a proud smirk to adorn Larissa’s lips. “If I’m so pretty darling, then you would’ve come to bed when I asked you to, instead you ignored mommy. What is the rule my girl?”

“Listen to mommy, look after myself for mommy, communicate emotions” she rambled off not knowing she’s accidentally broken more than one rule here. “And yet you broke all three didn’t you darling? You ignored me, you most certainly aren’t getting enough sleep by working yourself so hard and you definitely didn’t tell me how much the whole Addams situation is bothering you, did you?”

Silence and the slight drop in her wife’s head showed Larissa everything she needed to know. Leonora would submit, but it would be a fight as well. One that she was well prepared for. “Noting to say slut? Or did you just break these rules to get fucked?” Again silence followed so Larissa took the time to strip and tie the red head into her place of kneeling at the bedside. “I’ll get you to talk don’t you fret little girl, you know the rule? Mommy cums first”

And with that Larissa took her time to build herself back up to her height of pleasure while Leonora was forced to see everything in the mirror and listen to Larissa pleading for more. These stupid ties prevented any movement from her meaning the only way she would get to touch her wife is by backing down. Without realising it, she’d began to grind down against her heel, effectively soaking her heel and the floor at the sight of her wife riding out her second orgasm of the night.

“I thought you’d be a good girl for mommy Leo, but you’ve made a mess of my floor” Larissa mocked, “are you ready to behave now darling?”

“Fuck no! You ignored me all week! And now you think you get to remember and just try to punish me for no reason! This is fucking stupid Larissa. I didn’t do anything wrong but give you a taste of you own damn medicine, yet you get to look all sexy on the bed, a goddess at this point, while I’m just the lowly whore on my knees for you!” Lesso raged angry tears cascading down her cheeks.

“Check in”

“Emerald but”

“But what dove?”

“I’m sorry i didn’t mean that it’s just I missed you and now I-“

Larissa stood up to immediately untie her wife and settle her across her lap, face down, ass up. “Why are you here sweet girl?” She murmured rubbing slow circles on Leonora’s back. “Cause I broke rules” she muttered unhappily. “You did indeed my sweet girl, I understand why darling and we will talk about that later, but you don’t get to throw a fit like that” Larissa argued firmly before a couple of test strikes rained across Leonora’s backside. “How many love?”

“5 for each rule, I’m sorry mommy” guilt soaked her words now.

Larissa knows her wife’s body better than anyone else, knowing that it would take exactly seven strikes to have the red head ready to break, thirteen to have her broken down. So it was surprising that she began to cry out her apologises on strike ten.

“Shh sweet girl you’re done, all done, such a good girl for mommy aren’t you darling? All done now love” Larissa murmured readjusting her hiccuping wife in her lap. “Need 5 more” she whimpered causing Larissa to shake her head, “all done for that part darling okay? Check in with mommy please”

“Topaz” her voice wobbled as her sobs began to rise again, “I’m sorry mommy! I didn’t mean to make you stop early, I’m sorry I want to be good just no more spanks please.”

“No more spanks sweetheart, perhaps we can do something different instead of the 5 spanks hmm? Do you trust me Leo?”

“Mmhmm”

“Then go lay down darling get comfy in the middle of the bed I promise you’ll like this.”

Lesso quickly scurried to do as she was asked bring carful of her sore behind and waiting patiently for her wife. When Larissa reappeared to straddle her wife she uncapped a purple pen. “Five words, you don’t wash this off until mommy says so okay?” To which the woman nodded, she always loved wearing any marks Larissa left her with and purple was always so pretty on her skin. The other bonus was of course Larissa had body safe markers. Then Larissa began to write her chosen words on lesso chest stomach and thighs. “Dirty girl, “Bratty baby”, “Pretty whore”, “Mommys slut” and “Little whore” now adorned her body in Larissa’s beautiful penmanship. “Now sweet girl we are all done. Can mommy make you feel good sweetheart?” Consent given Larissa proceeded to provide the red head with the most toe curling orgasm she has ever experienced combining her fingers and little vibrator on her clit.

Next thing Leonora knew Larissa was gently cleaning her messy thighs, gently rolling the redhead over to apply cream to both ass cheeks in a generous amount before fetching a bottle of water and a small snack for them both. “My love? Do you need anything else?”

“No thank you Rissa”

“I’m sorry darling, I was rather harsh tonight, I’m sorry I haven’t been around love, I’ve missed you so much too. All I want is to spend some time with my wife but apparently this school has other ideas recently. I love you with all my heart please know that Leo” the emotion choked the blonde up causing her to go tense beneath Lesso.

“I know dearest. Thank you for tonight Rissa. And this now too, you listened to me when I used my safe words, Rissa that is everything and more and you even listened to my body when I didn’t know what I wanted. You helped me let my pent up emotions go darling, now I’m all light again. Thanks to my lovely wife. I’m okay my love I promise.”

“I hurt you Leo! I hurt my wife” Larissa sobbed attempting to turn away and curl in on herself. She didn’t know why this was happening or that Leonora was now comforting her when it should be the other way round, honestly feeling like a terrible dominant and a terrible wife.

“I’m okay darling, you helped me feel better. That’s a pretty good fucking wife to me, plus I got that sexy video and those pictures from this too. You are perfect my love and I won’t tolerate you feeling so miserable about yourself when you did nothing wrong at all. Now come my love we need cuddles and some rest okay?” With that the blonde rolled to once again hold her her wife, with minutes Leonora could feel her exhaustion taking over so with a sweet kiss and another reminder of her being okay the red head fell asleep in Larissa’s arms holding the blondes left hand just over heart in hopes of further reassuring her. Larissa took some time to reflect and just be before she joined her wife.

Word count 2056

[rayleneii6]

A F*cked Up Desire

Chapter one: the meeting room

Summary: "Maybe I can't ruin her."

"Maybe I can fix him."

Warning: probably a LOT of grammer and spelling mistakes. (Idk if this fic contain something to be warned about, I'm new to this. So if there are warnings I should write, tell me pls)

Word count: 3,586

Chapter two

Read in Ao3!

A/N: English is NOT my first language, and I haven't written anything since more than a year, and this is my first english fanfic. Whatever this two feels, idk if I wrote it right or not, I haven't even been kissed before and the only times my legs feels weak are when I do my stretching routine. So... Whatever.

This place feels like a damn maze. No, this isn't his first time here, Bucky spent a lot of time in this place, but he can swear that this tower pops a new room, hallway or corridor every now and then. 

    Though Bucky is good at directions, he still get lost here now and then. Now he's definitely not lost,  or maybe, just maybe, kinda he's? 

    Nevermind, he's just looking for Steve, wants to talk to him about something. But he can't find him right now so he's wandering looking around. So he walked and checked the place room after room, and now he's standing before a certain door after it opened automatically for him. 

    He was expecting the room to be empty, like the ones he crossed while searching, but strangely, it wasn't. It was occupied by that woman. It's not like he hates her or holds a grudge against her, there's not enough interactions even between them for him to hold something against her. 

    But he interacted enough to know how she's a tight-ass who ruin his fun everytime. Maybe wear a helmet while riding your motorcycle? What about you using a plate instead of holding everything in your hand?  Can you stop putting the glasses in the plastic cups place? 

    And she always, always, says it with a face and tone shows that, she's doing anything but asking him, she's issuing him around, and god he wants to strangle her for that. And why for the love of god would he use a plate when his hands is very capable of holding food? 

    So yep, a big I-can't-even-describe-it from him on how he gets along with her. 

    But now he has a bigger issue, which is to find that son of— Steve, so he has to ask her about where is he, 'cause she's the only one who fate chose to make him walk across right now. So he walked further in the room she's into—which is a meeting one—, he made his presence known by not silenting his steps like he used to, though she didn't even raise her head from whatever she's doing which seems more important and interesting to her than not acting rude by ignoring someone. 

    Is it just him precisely or she act this indifferent and cold in the same level with anyone? Sometimes he thinks she got the high cool setting only for him, like it stucks on that level whenever she interacts with him. 

    He rolled his eyes when she was still keeping on ignoring him, so he cleared his throat and didn't give her time to responed and ignore him more so he just started talking. 

    "Have you seen Steve today?"

    And thank god he didn't give her time, 'cause she just flipped the paper she's looking at in this moment and responded to him with: "No."

    He stood there for a few seconds waiting for her to continue or say something more, but apparently, she was out of whatever she's made from so she just settled for a no. He tried to be patient and took a deep breath. 

    "At least do you know where he could be? Anything might actually help?" He couldn't help it, so the words got out of him more shrap than normal. Despite that, he really wants to just hold her shoulders, and shake shake shake shake until he knows what on earth the thing that he can't put his fingers on is wrong with her? 

    And bless her heart, this woman actually looked at him for the first time since he entered this room! What next now? Sun shines from the west? 

    She opened her mouth to responed to him—or snap at him like usual—but he didn't get the chance to know because the place suddenly became wrapped in black. 

    "What the—" before he can let all the words fall from his mouth, the light had came back and he can see again. He quickly checked around the room—nothing, no threats. Then he let his gaze fell on the girl who's now standing and had been also looking for a source of danger. He can see that her shoulders are stiffen and her hands are clinched in fists. 

    "What that might be" he tried to make his voice sounds calm so he doesn't freak her. 'Cause if the super soldier is having a bad feeling about this situation, then that's a clear sign for her to feel worried. 

    She tore her gaze and let it meets him, "I don't know." She crossed her arms over her chest and chewed on her lip for a moments before saying: "I didn't hear any alarm or fighting sounds, so I think we're good."

    He nodded, "Yeah, I think that too. But better to check in."

    "Probably just Stark blew up something while doing his things though."

"I'll check anyway." She opened her mouth again to say something, but he just spun on his heels and walked to the door and waited it to open automatically, and waited another moment, and waited again, but it didn't open. He cursed under his breath. 

    Letting a loud sigh while running a hand through his hair, he turned around to be faced with an annoyed expression from her. She Shook her head and tsk-ed a few times. 

    "If you stopped acting like a D for five seconds you'd have known that's the door won't open."

    Her tone started annoyed then he can hear a little smugness in the end. He rolled his eyes at her. "And why is it won't open?" His voice held a bit of sarcasm. 

    Now she rolled her eyes—which she does a lot, especially around him. Yeah he does it too, just not all the time like her—, "Because, the power Is off genies."

    He raised an eyebrow, "Oh really?" He said with mocking, "The lights are on, genies." He gestured to them with a Huff, throwing her words back at her. 

    "You're more stupid than I thought." She has the audacity to look at him pitifully and shake her head again. "These lights, they restore power. So no, the power is still off. And before you ask, I know that because the lights suppose to generate a more powerful light if the electricity is on."

    Bucky formed his lips in a thin line and stayed silent for moments. Then he exhaled and ran his fingers along his hair.

    "So we're stuck."

    "We're stuck."

    "F-ing great, and from all the people it has to be you."

    "Funny Barnes, you're so funny." No need to clarify that her voice was a deadpan. She just sat back on her chair and didn't talk to him again. 

    He sigh loudly and decided to grab a chair, pushing it backwards so he can sit before her. 'Cause, what else he can do now except that? So he sat, and sat, and fidget with his leather jacket's end, and with the chair, moving it backwards, to push it forward again, and repeat that again. Maybe I should do some push ups? He thought to himself. 

    "For the love of god, and for f-'s sake! Can you f-ing stop?!"

    He stopped mid-journy and was a bit surprised at her sharp-like-knife voice, he never heard her lash out or rise her voice like this. He liked it, a lot. 

    He continued playing with the chair and gave her a dangerous smirk. "Why? Am I bothering her highness?"  Oh this is about to be so much fun. He told himself. 

    He can see already her coldness cracking, she was rubbing her temple while shutting her eyes. And he felt so strangely happy that she's so bothered by him. 

    "Yes," her words got out between gritted teeth. "Yes, I'm trying to work here, so can you stop acting like a five years-old kid who can't stand still in one place?"

    Mentioning her work, he just noticed that she indeed is working with a lot of papers and there's even a book beside her. His smirk widened, he can't help himself but wanting her to snap more at him, better than that boring as hell silence. Also, he has a thing for dangerous things. 

    "Working huh?" He stood from the chair, and when he approached her little by little, he noticed that she shifted her gaze to him and started watching his every movement. He stood close to her—two meters away just from her. "And what, prey tell, that are you working at?"

    "None of your business," she told him with a very calm voice. When he took a step closer, he saw her stiffen a bit. So, he took one more—just to see her reaction. And he was rewarded with a very stiff shoulders and white knuckles holding the pen. 

    So he didn't stop until he was a few centimeters away, looking down at her, while she's still sitting on the chair. He looked at her papers, then his eyes landed on the book and stayed there. 

    "What are you readin' doll?" His Brooklyn accent became more noticable unintentionally.

    "Don't call me that," her voice was firm. 

    His mind took a second to understand what she ment. The nickname rolled of his tongue without meaning to, and he didn't even did it on purpose. But he masked his face and smiled mischievously to her. "What do you mean?" He feigned innocence, "You mean doll?"

    "Yes, that."

    She narrowed her eyes and spat the word "that" as "doll" is going to ruin her mouth, or let a foul tatse in it. Oooh, I'm starting to enjoy this so much, so, so much. 

"A romance book? Oh don't tell me you're a smutty girl?"

    Her hand reached the book and held it away from him. Her lips were in thin line. "None of you—"

    Within a blink, it was snatched from her, of course, he's still much more powerful. He hummed to her and opened the book, and as soon as he did she was on her feet. 

    "Give. It. Back. To. Me!" She tried reaching it, but he has a few good centimeters on her. 

    "Oh that book must be holding something so interesting that you're willing to fight for it."

    He kept teasing her, not giving her a chance to grab it from him. And apparently, she knew she can't have it like this, so she looked at him. "Can you give it back to me?" The words got between gritted teeth, obviously she was trying to not slap his face or kick him in the balls. 

    "Say please, pretty please?" The amusement was clear as crystal in his voice, which led the girl to clench her fists until her knuckles turned white. 

    "Go F yourself Barnes," and she tried to get him by surprise so she jumped, trying to get her precious book back again. 

    But since he was holding it with his vibranium arm, with a flick of his wrist, he threw it behind him. He heard a gasp—he never heard anyone gasp this hard like he suck all the oxygen—from her before she parts her lips. "You little bastard and son of b—"

    But her words were cut and she just... Froze. And her eyes were widened. All that because he had held her stretched arm—the one that was trying to grab her poor book—and brought his lips to her fingers, kissing them softly. 

    He heard her shaking breaths after a long moment of silence, but he didn't stop kissing her fingers. And he decided to push her further, he won't stop, he won't until he knows where her line is.       He slowly, without breaking eye contact, brought his tongue to lick her fingers. And he heard her suck in a breath. He teased her by letting his tongue swirls slowly around the fingers.

    "Tell me to stop," he kissed her fingers gently. "If you don't like this, tell me to stop and I'll do it gladly." Lie. Yeah sure he was going to stop if she doesn't want to continue, but he'll not do it gladly. Why did I even say that?. 

She seems to got to her right mind finally. She Shook her hand free from him, and even cleaned her fingers on his shirt. But when she took a step back he closed the space between them more. His nose is nearly touching hers, and he can feel her hot breath on his lips. His hands were by her waist—but weren't touching. He let them there, not quite closing the remain space, just hovering. 

    He let his lips touch hers in a shallow way then he stepped back, giving her her personal space again. He won't touch her. He won't touch her unless she gave him her consent. He just showed her what could be if she's willing to, if she's not.... Well, there's nothing he can do. 

    Maybe pushing her wasn't the right thing to do after all? Maybe he shouldn't has to let his love for dangerous things takes hold of him, 'cause what if she's mad? Yeah he'll feel more excited by that but maybe he shouldn't? Maybe she's mad mad and was going to get him stabbed or she'll cut his di—

    This time he's the one who sucked in a breath. Her lips—her soft lips were pressing onto his. And oh god, he can feel his head lightened and the shiver that ran down his spine. He didn't hesitate this time and wrapped his arms around her waist, bringing her closer. 

    He kissed her back and opened his mouth for her to deepen it if she wants to, he still doesn't want to push her to something she's not willing to. And a second later, her teeth bit into his lower lip and Bucky made a sound in the back of his throat. 

    Her tongue brushed against his and she kissed him with hunger, with desire. Soon his hands were on her face titling it so he can deepen the kiss more. And when he heard her moan into his mouth, Bucky felt like he might go crazy because of that sound. 

    He made her moan, and from all the time he spent with her, that was something like hell freezing. He wanted more—needed more. Needs to hear her moan for him more, to moan his name, gasp in pleasure, to tear down all that coldness and makes her feel like she never did before, to stop being a tight-ass and become a mess. A beautiful mess on his hands only. 

    And oh god, the thoughts terrified him. He did not know that he was this eager to ruin her this much, had he been like this from the beginning? Was he usually annoyed at her 'cause he couldn't make her give him more than a few words and a expressionless face? That's why he's attracted to her, just to ruin her? That's not fair. He told himself, but kept kissing her with a feverish hunger. That's not fair from me to want her just because of that, just so I can see her f-ed up like me. 

    But right now, he don't know what his true desire is—whatever it was. He just know that he wants her, desire her. He'll sort the rest out later. Or not. 

    He pressed her closer to him and backed her until the small of her back hit the edge of the table. He pressed his hips against hers and devoured her mouth. And when they finally parted, gasping difficulty for air, Bucky looked into her eyes. 

    "I want you," he murmured into her mouth and didn't wait for an answer before he kiss her jawline. Bucky trailed kisses along her jaw until he reached her ear. "I want you so bad." He whisperd to her. 

    He felt the shiver that ran down her spine but he proceed to continue. Leaving butterfly kisses on her neck. And she gasped in pleasure then tilted her head, giving him more access which he took greatfully. 

    In the background, he can hear the air-conditioner is back on, means the electricity is back. And the lights became more powerful. The cool air brushed his face and her hair, but right now, that's doesn't matter. 

    "Barnes," the girl said his name breathlessly which made him want to hear her like that more. "Barnes, this... I— we....we can't."

    He felt a soft long fingers brush against his cheek and he finally stopped. He looked at her face, her flushed face and swollen lips. And her chest was raising and falling rapidly. I did this. 

    "We can't...." She murmured to him while her fingers gently tracing his jaw, he leaned to her touch. 

    "Why can't we? I want you, and I know you want me too."

    "Because what is this, what is us if it's even excit? " she shook her head and looked into his eyes with... Is that vulnerability? "My feelings are conflicted, and I bet yours too. 'Cause what are we doing? We shouldn't do this, shouldn't have done that."

    "Hate to break it to you, but I'm not good at should really," he wasn't going to let her doubting self ruin this for him—for both of them. She deserve to loosen a bit instead of over-working herself like always. 

    He tried to push her more, he got her this much and can not give up on here after all that pushing. Maybe he'll find soon where her line is, but he has to try. "I don't know what is us, I'm not gonna lie. But I want you, I want you now so bad that it hurts me. That's what I know."

    She looked surprised at his words. She bit her lip and looked at the floor. "I— I don't know..." Never in his life, he heard her stuttering in her words or look not sure and confident like always. "I do want you," she said with a low voice like it's a shame to feel that. And he supposed, knowing her, that's it's. 

    "You do want me, but?" He sensed the but coming so he just spared her. 

     "But I don't know ok!? I'm so confused! We should just forget this ever happened, but I know it's gonna be hell and we'll drive ourselves mad with pretending whatever this," she gestured with her hand between then, and her voice broke a little at the rest of the words. "Isn't real or there. So to summons up: we're f-ed up. Badly"

    He didn't want to, but he chuckled. And that got him her usual glare. At least now he's sure that he's dealing with the same girl he knows and not some imposter or whatever. But seeing her actually nervous, vulnerable and not sure, bring him so much joy. 

    "Sorry sorry, but this is the most human-like I ever saw you. And this is coming from me."

    She opened he mouth, then closed it and pressed her lips together. "Ouch," she put her hand on her hips. "I'm human. Jeeeeeez."

    "Yeah well, you don't act like it." And when she glared at him more he rolled his eyes, back to this habit when he's with her already. "Fine. You're a human, but you need to act more like it ok? Happy?"

    "Not like I know how" she muttered under her breath.

    "Well, I happened to know how exactly," he gave her a big, mischievous grin and this time she rolled her eyes. Yep, back to rolling eyes when they're together it seems. 

    "Fine, but if I wanted to call it off—"

    "I'll stop. You've my words." She actually looks like she's going to believe him, so he need to push a bit, just a bit for the last time. "If you, at anytime, felt like you don't like it, or not comfortable, I'll stop. I'll never do something without your permission. And we can set boundaries before it, so I can know what makes you uncomfortable."

    She looked away from him and bit her lip again. Silence fell for what it felt like the longest moment in his life, and when he decided to talk again he heard her voice came very low just like she's whispering. "OK... "

    "Did you just said "OK"?" He must have heard her wrong. 

    "Yes I said OK, happy? Satisfied?"      He was going to shot back with a smart-ass reply but he then noticed her face. A pink dusk was on her face and it seems she can't look directly at his eyes. "Omg, don't tell me you're blushing? No seriously, you, blushing?"

    "Just shut up and let's go."

    He chuckled at her again. "Yeah, OK doll. Whatever you say."

    So he held her hands and led her toward the door. "Where?" He didn't need to say more, because her reply came just like he anticipated. 

    "My room."

    Of course it's gonna be her room, he thought as he huffed. And when they stood in front of the door, this time it opened. And Bucky literally yanked her. Steve can wait for another time. 

    But she stooped suddenly, which got him annoyed. "What now doll?"

    "My room," she pointed her finger behind her back. "It's in that way."

    He actually stood for a second before shaking his head in amusement. "Sorry doll," he gave her a charming smile. "Sometimes, this place feels like a damn maze."

[robiniswriting]

I’m still amazed that the BBC let Chris “wrote the Cyberwoman episode of Torchwood” Chibnall anywhere near Jodie’s run, never mind putting him in charge of it

gonna be brutally honest here anon I have never seen torchwood so I cannot comment on that specifically, BUT!

chris chibnall isn’t as awful of a writer as people think. in my opinion, he was hindered by his love of classic who. he was writing for a completely different show in a completely different time, and a lot of his plot and lore decisions make more sense when you consider the classic show. not to mention his politics, many of which were stuck in the 1960s-1980s.

as a result, fans of new who didn’t like it — certain key elements of it didn’t really gel with the current show and upset their understanding of the doctor as a character.

chibnall also made the mistake of listening to fans during his first season: everyone was saying they wanted new monsters and a break from daleks and cybermen, so he had a season of totally brand-new monsters. people hated it, said the show was unrecognizable. when he wrote a few new episodes with daleks and cybermen and weeping angels, people wrote it off because they’d already made up their mind about it.

I’ll always be grateful to chibnall for pushing forward and having the first female doctor. the pushback he received for that at the time gets largely forgotten. it would have been easy to give in to the massive pressure and recast — nothing of the seasons had been filmed when jodie was initially announced — but he refused to budge and backed jodie all the way. for that, I’ll always respect him. he’s put up with a lot of shit from the fans.

that having been said, disliking chibnall’s era is so valid. even though I really enjoy thirteen’s run (she is my wife I love her dearly) I can like that era of the show and also have enough critical thinking skills to see the problems with it. I’m pretty sure i’ve said it before but the politics of the chibnall era are atrocious (see: the woman who fell to earth, rosa, arachnids in the uk, kerblam!, spyfall pt. 2, the vanquishers — feel free to ask me to elaborate on any of these) and sometimes he falls into the trap many writers do when writing women, which is to water them down a bit. thirteen is Not as weak as many people make her out to be, but there are a few moments that irk me (see: needing jack harkness to break her out of prison. I’d have been okay with it if maybe she’d managed to stall the judoon long enough to send him a distress signal or something? maybe use the sonic to get his attention? just give her a bit of agency).

anyway, long story short, chibnall’s era has issues. but nowhere near the number that people attribute to it. as for why the BBC handed the show over to him, he was extremely successful as showrunner on broadchurch, had written well-liked episodes of doctor who and been head writer at torchwood in the past, was a massive fan of the show, and vocally wanted to being some changes and mystery to the show, something fans had been clamoring for for ages. my guess is he applied for the job, interviewed like anybody else, and they decided he was the best possible candidate.

no writer is going to have no misses, especially not on a show with such demanding deadlines as doctor who, and every new showrunner is a risk the BBC have to take. at the time, it looked like he was the man for the job. sometimes, it’s all just business.

[soracities]

Hi! So I tried not to say anything about some anti makeup posts I saw on your blog but I need to say this. I think you're very wise and I agree it's very important for us to love ourselves as we are. But some people like myself doesn't care about 'empowering' of makeup or whatever but we just have fun with it and we just love it. I say we because I know there is a lot of people like me. Yeah, we are feeding capitalism or whatever, but world is beautiful and it's also terrible so people trying make themselves feel good, have fun, ect. I see a lot of people who don't wear makeup and i'm happy for them! I didn't wear makeup until i turned 20 i think and felt good.

One thing I wanted to add is in response of post about feminine girls. I think everything needs balance and sometimes people tend to overreact in their opinion and divide everything in black and white. Personally I never cared how women around me looked and what they were wearing. But I would like to have same treatment, and not to feel silly for wearing pink or feminine clothes.

Sorry, I don't know English very well so maybe I can't translate my idea entirely. What I'm trying to say i think everyone should do what they like and leave each other in peace.

Sorry for this essay, just wanted to share my point of view.

Hi, anon! I'm sorry for the delay in getting to this, but I appreciate you writing this (and your English was fine, don't worry)

I think the main argument of those posts (and my own feelings about this) is not about makeup on its own, or even judgement about who does and doesn't choose to wear it--what they are criticizing is a particular part of the society we live in which puts a huge emphasis on women's beauty and appearance in order to fulfill an idea of what a woman "should" be, and the role that makeup plays in that as a result. Because whether we like it or not, whether we believe in them or not, whether we feel pressured by them or not, these expectations do exist. How we personally respond to them does not change that.

I personally don't have an issue with makeup or the concept of it (in almost every culture on earth, humans have been using makeup of some kind for literally thousands of years)--but what I do have a problem with is when we treat makeup, or other traditionally "feminine" forms of expression as neutral things when they are not. A comb or a hair tie is neutral--it's just a thing. Lipstick and eyeliner are also just things, but only when they exist by themselves--and in reality they don't exist by themselves: they exist in a world where we value women on their physical appearance before we value them for anything else--lipstick and eyeliner exist to emphasise parts of your appearance, to make you look a certain way--and in a society where we put so much importance on women looking a certain way, they aren't just ordinary things you toy around with for fun. You can have fun with them, but it doesn't change their role. They can't be treated as exceptions from the world they are used in.

I think sometimes people assume that being anti-makeup is the same as being anti-women-who-wear-makeup, which misses the point (and also suggests a very dangerous idea which I think, sometimes, is why people respond so angrily to these criticisms: because if we believe that being anti-makeup = being anti-women, then therefore makeup = womanhood, and this is simply not true). Whether you wear these things just for fun and to enjoy yourself isn't what is being talked about because these criticisms are not about you on a personal level: they are about looking at a society that is as image-obsessed as ours, and asking why makeup has the role that it has when 1) it is almost exclusively aimed at women--women who, as a group, have been historically marginalised, and whose value, historically, has almost always been measured in terms of their beauty before anything else and 2) the makeup that is emphasized, the trends and styles that come and go, are often not so much about self-expression (if they were, people would be freely wearing all sorts of wild colours and styles: when we talk about "makeup culture" it's not the same kind of makeup used in the goth, punk, or alt scenes for example where makeup plays a very different role) but almost always about achieving or aspiring towards a type of beauty that is valued or expected: to make you look younger, to make your eyes brighter or larger, to make your lips bigger or sexier, your cheekbones more prominent etc--again, on their own, these things may not be a big deal, but they exist in a world where having these looks means you are valued in a certain way as a woman. And when this exists in our kind of world, where the power dynamics we have automatically mean women's perceived power is through beauty, and where we insist so much on women being a particular kind of beautiful (and this starts in childhood) we have to ask and investigate WHY that is--why this type of beauty and not another? why (almost only) women? who benefits from this? who suffers as a result?

The argument of "not all women" wear makeup for empowerment misses the point of these criticism, because it is focusing on a person's individual choices in a way that suggests our choices can define the world we live in, and they can't. We are deeply social animals. Therefore, how we appear to each other and to ourselves is a socially influenced phenomenon. This applies for race, for sexuality, and for gender. How women are perceived at large, in different social structures, is a social phenomenon influenced by the societies we exist in and the values of those societies. These criticisms are about the society we make those choices in and how that can affect us. For you, makeup may be something fun and enjoyable and that's fine. I'm not saying that's untrue or that people don't feel this way or that you are wrong for feeling this way. It's also not saying that you are brain-washed or oppressing yourself for it. But it doesn't change the world we live in. Someone feeling perfectly happy to go out with makeup or without makeup, and feeling no pressure to do either, is great--but it doesn't mean there aren't a lot of women who do feel pressured into wearing it, and that pressure is a social one. It doesn't change the inequality that exists between how women's physical appearances are judged compared to men's. It doesn't change the fact that almost every childhood story most kids hear (that aren't about animals) have a "beautiful princess" (and very little else is said about her except that she is beautiful) and a "brave" knight/prince/king/whichever: the princess (or maiden or whatever young woman) is defined by how she looks; the male in the story by how he acts.

It also doesn't change the fact that so many young girls grow up hearing the women around them criticize various parts of their bodies and that they carry this into their lives. It doesn't change the fact that we expect (in Western countries at least) for women to have criticisms about their appearance and they are "stuck-up" or "full of themselves" if they don't. It doesn't change the fact that magazines photos, red carpet photos, films, tv shows etc., feature actresses who are beautiful in a way that is absolutely above and beyond exceptional (and who either have had work done cosmetically, or are wealthy enough to be able to afford to look the way they do through top-class makeup artists, personal trainers etc) but who we think are within the "normal" range of beauty because faces like theirs are all that we see--how many famous actors / entertainers can you name who look like they could be someone's random uncle, or "just some guy" (writing this, I can think of 5). Now how many actresses, equally famous, can you think of that are the same? Very, very, very few.

The point of those posts, and why I feel so strongly about this, is that we have a deeply skewed view of beauty when it comes to women, because, as a society, we place so much on how they look in such a way that it is not, and was never meant to be, achievable: therefore anything that contributes to how women look, that markets itself in the way that the makeup industry does in this day and age, needs to be questioned and looked at in relation to that. No one is saying don't wear eyeliner or blush--what they are trying to say is that we need to be aware of the kind of world eyeliner and blush exists in, what their particular functions as eyeliner and blush do in the world that they exist in, that we exist in, and how this does impact the view we have on makeup as a result. Your personal enjoyment may be true to you and others, but this doesn't change the role of female beauty in the world because, again, our personal choices don't define the world in this way. Often, it's the other way around. And we cannot deny this fact because, while it may not affect you negatively, it does affect others.

I absolutely agree with you because I don't care how other women around me choose to dress or express themselves, either--that's their freedom to wear what they want and enjoy themselves and I want them to have that freedom. But my view is not the world's view, and it's certainly not the view of a lot of other people, either. I don't care if another woman loves pink and wearing skirts and dresses--but, like makeup, pink, skirts, and dresses, are not neutral things either. They're tied to a particular image of 'femininity' which means they are tied to a particular way of "being a woman" in this world. I'm not saying, at all, that it's wrong to wear these things. But I'm saying we can't treat them as though these are choices as simple as choosing what kind of socks to wear, because they aren't. They are choices that have baggage. If a woman is seen as being silly, childish, or treated unequally because she enjoys cute tops and ribbons and sundresses, that's not because we are demonizing her choices, or because being anti-makeup is being anti-woman (again, it is absolutely not): it's because we as a society demonize women for any choice. That isn't because of anti-makeup stances--that's because of sexism.

You mentioned that you want to be treated the same as anyone else for wearing feminine clothes--but the fear that you wouldn't be isn't because of the discussions critiquing makeup and other traditionally "feminine" things--it's because we live in a society where women are constantly defined by how they appear on the outside, and no amount of our personal choices will make this untrue. Whether you are a girly-girl or a tomboy, you'll always be judged. And, in reality, when women follow certain beauty standards they do get treated better--but this doesn't mean much in a society where the standards are so high you can never reach them, and where the basic regard for women is so low to begin with (not to mention the hypocrisy that exists within those standards). This is what all those criticisms towards makeup and "empowerment" are about: it's about interrogating a society that is built on this kind of logic and asking why we should insist on leaving it as it is when it does so much damage. It's saying that that if we want everyone to truly feel free in how they choose to present themselves we have to go deeper than just defining freedom by these choices on their own, and look at the environment those choices are made in. And that involves some deeply uncomfortable but necessary conversations.

Also, and I think this important to remember, views on makeup and the social place of makeup will also depend on culture and where you are, and the beauty expectations you grew up with. And when it comes to the internet, and given American dominance online, a lot of these posts criticizing makeup and the way makeup is being used to sell an idea that wearing it is "empowering" to the woman (which is basically saying: you are MORE of a woman when you wear it; you are stronger and more powerful because, in our society, beauty is portrayed as a form of power: it tells you, you can battle the inequality women face by embracing the role beauty plays in our lives but it doesn't tell you this emphasis on beauty is part of that inequality), are based on the way makeup is portrayed in mostly English-speaking Western countries. My views are shaped by what I grew up seeing, and while a full face of makeup (concealer, primer, foundation, mascara, highlighter, contour, blush, brow tint, brow gel etc) may not be daily practice or even embraced in a place like France or maybe other places in mainland Europe (but that doesn't mean they don't have their own expectations of feminine beauty), they are daily practice in places like the US and Britain, and this is what most of those posts and criticisms are responding to.

We can argue as much as we want about makeup, but when you grow up in a society where women feel the need to put on makeup before going to the gym there is something seriously wrong. Embracing makeup and enjoying makeup is one thing, but it cannot be a neutral thing when so much of it is about looking like you're not wearing makeup at all, or when we assume a woman is better qualified for a job or more professional when she wears it. It cannot be a neutral thing when a singer like Alicia Keys goes makeup-free for a red carpet event and it causes a stir online because people think she looks sick (what she looks like is normal--I would argue above normal--but wearing makeup to cover up "flaws" is so normal now that we genuinely don't know what normal skin is supposed to look like because the beauty of these celebrities is part of their appeal: they are something to aspire to). It is absolutely very normal for me, where I am, to see young girls with fake lashes and filled in brows: it's not every girl I pass, but it is enough. I'm not saying they are miserable, or brain-washed, or should be judged. I can believe that for them it's something enjoyable--but how am I supposed to see something like that and not be aware of the kind of celebrities and makeup tutorials that are everywhere on TikTok and YouTube, and that they are seeing everyday? How am I not supposed to have doubts when people tell me "it's their choice!" when the choices being offered are so limited and focused on one thing?

I never wore makeup as a teenager and I still don't, but a lot of that is because I grew up surrounded by people who just didn't. Makeup was never portrayed as anything bad or forbidden (and I don't see it like that either)--it was just this thing that, for me growing up, was never made to be a necessity not even for special occasions. I saw airbrushed photos and magazines all around me, for sure, and I definitely felt the beauty pressure and the body pressure (for example, I definitely felt my confidence would be better if I wore concealer to deal with my uneven skintone, and I felt this for years). But I also know that, growing up, I saw both sides. No makeup was the default I saw at home, while makeup was the default I saw outside. And that does play a part, not just in the choices you make, but in the choices that you feel you are allowed to make. No makeup was an option for me because it was what I saw everyday, even with my own insecurities; but if you do not see that as an option around you (and I know for most girls my age, where I grew up, it probably wasn't) then how can we fully argue that the decision you make is a real choice?

If I wanted to wear a cute skirt outside, for example, and decided to shave my legs--that isn't a real choice. And it cannot ever be a real choice, no matter how much I say "this is for me" or "I prefer it like this" because going out in public with hairy legs and going out in public with shaved legs will cause two completely different reactions. How can I separate what I think is "my choice" from a choice I make because I want to avoid the negative looks and comments? And how can I argue that choosing to shave is a freely made choice when the alternative has such negativity? If you feel pressured into choosing one thing over another, that's not a choice. Does this make sense?

This is how I feel about makeup most of the time, and what I want more than anything else is for us to be able to have a conversation about why we make the choices we do beyond saying "it makes me feel good" and ending the conversation there. Again, I'm not saying people need to stop wearing makeup or stop finding enjoyment in wearing it, but I think we tend to get so focused on our own feelings about this and forget that there is a bigger picture and this picture is a deeply unequal one. That is what this conversation is about. I hope this explains some things, anon, and if I misinterpreted anything please feel free to message me again. x

[thevindicativevordan]

Thoughts on the new announcements on absolute comics

Anonymous asked: Hello! How are you feeling? What do you think of the new creative teams DC announced for October?

Anonymous asked: So ! What are your thoughts on the All In initiative and the new creative teams for the existing books like Action ?

txtmasterblast asked: On a scale of 0 to 10, how much are you looking forward to the upcoming Absolute Universe line?

Thought I'd save this for SDCC since there are still some rumored books that are yet to be confirmed, but I can save my thoughts for when those are officially announced. Short version is that this is extremely exciting.

Dawn of DC was DC playing it safe, and they botched the initiative because of how they spammed low quality events like Knight Terrors. Now they're stepping up to the plate and trying to tap into the energy created by Marvel's Ultimate Universe and the Energon Universe. They're trying to take a big swing and hit a home run. After multiple attempts by Didio to create something like this, it's downright ironic that Snyder finally is the one to do it given the two of them clashed at the end of their tenures. Once again Snyder seems to be trying to infuse the DCU with the essence of Metal, and at least this version appears to revolve less around Batman. I won't lie, hearing Snyder name drop Doomsday Clock and talk about "Darkseid Energy" in the promo video made me cringe.

The success of Hickman's Ultimate Universe and the Energon Universe came because they broke free of the usual shared universe comic nonsense. The Maker is an evil Reed Richards who eliminated all the heroes who couldn't be turned in order to build his perfect world. Energon was a reboot with no prior knowledge required. Simple! If the Absolute Universe requires me to know about the "Metaverse", throw it the trash because it's doomed. If the first issues of these books are not able to be read standalone with zero prior knowledge required, it's going to fail. The All-In one shot should tell us why this universe exists, what the pitch is, but it needs to be free from the kind of esoteric meta commentary which has poisoned DC for the last decade or so. Darkseid meddles with an Earth in order to understand his foes better is an easy concept to grasp. Don't make it any more complicated than that.

Absolute Batman by Scott Snyder & Nick Dragotta - Least exciting of the bunch. Unless Snyder is going to radically change up his writing style, we know how his Bruce sounds. Even without the wealth Batman usually has, I expect this will feel very familiar. Since I've dropped all the other Bat books however, I plan on getting this and two others for my Bat fix. Snyder has teased that Scarecrow and Bane are the two Bat villains he wished he could've done more with during his first run. Scarecrow is my favorite Batman villain and the thugs in the ashcan look like thugs of his to me. I think this Batman will be juicing himself with Venom, explains why he's huge, which is a much better justification for why Bane seeks this Batman out than anything they've come up with elsewhere. That logo sucks but I assume it's because this Batman has to make use with whatever he can scavenge, maybe that is a literal bulletproof plate to guard his chest which he shaped to look like a Bat as best as he could.

Absolute Wonder Woman by Kelly Thompson & Hayden Sherman - Thompson was a fan of the Azz/Chiang New 52 Wondy up until the reveal about the Amazons being rapists. Between the reuse of the silver/red color combo for this Wondy's armor, and how she doesn't have access to Paradise Island or other Amazons, I'm getting very similar vibes. I was a fan of Azz's run even though I acknowledge he "broke" her in several ways, I'm up for a second stab at a Wondy like that with Thompson. Tattoos show Hecate's symbol from Historia, perhaps this Wondy got her powers from Hecate only? My theory is Hippolyta went with her Bana sisters to war, and was never Queen of Themyscira. When she had Diana then, it was in Man's World. If this is dark urban fantasy Wondy, that would make for a good contrast with King's current political thriller run.

Absolute Superman by Jason Aaron & Rafa Sandoval - Bizarro arc was great, Sandoval is one of the best artists in DC's roster, I'm all in (hehe). No Fortress is a shame but since Bats and Wondy don't have their bases either I accept it. No family and no home is particularly intriguing. Seen a lot of speculation about what that entails, from this Superman being raised in an orphanage like the Action #1 origin, to Kal being sent from Krypton when he was old enough to remember it. If it's the latter then Absolute Kara will likely be dead, since she would overlap too much with this Superman. I love the design, grey suit with Morrison's first All-Star shield that Quietly only drew for one panel is a peak look. Hairstyle reminds me of Corenswet's "Clark" hair only longer, also reminds me of Anakin/Luke Skywalker which might be exactly the intention. His "cape" appears to be made of solar energy, perhaps this Superman has trouble controlling his powers? His solar battery biology might work differently here, with him "leaking". Or perhaps he even has a different powerset entirely? Seems like he can channel power into his arms/fists, if we get heat/ice fists instead of vision/breath, that would be the kind of silliness I love. Don't think this Superman will be paired with Lois, which frankly is a good thing. All the other major Superman projects focus on the Clois romance, for this to stand out I believe Absolute Superman needs to be dating other people. Since he seems to be a drifter, Aaron might eventually have him travel to other planets, where we could get Maxima or someone entirely new.

Other books have leaked and are probably right considering Bleeding Cool accurately called the Trinity, but I'll wait until they get revealed officially - likely at SDCC - before giving my thoughts.

For the mainline universe:

Justice League - Superman is apparently building a new JL that will be going after Darkseid and reshaping the cosmic hierarchy of the DCU. If DC had any brains left in their collective heads they would give this book to PKJ, but he's denied being on JL. Ram V still has a book to announce, maybe it's him? I would've said Waid but without Mora I don't think he'd take the job. Aaron is a possibility albeit not one I'd want. Seen some people say Lemire, and he did write the JL crossover with his Black Hammer verse. Please let it not be Taylor.

Superman - Mora joining the book took me by surprise, that is sure to have generated major fuming from certain corners. Doomsday arc is going to be a joy to look at

Action Comics - Waid and Henry are finally announced. Action going weekly was unexpected however. Only question I have is, does this mean Waid is staying on past that one arc? Not clear but since he will have more issues that the previous three Superstars I would assume so. Bitter as I am over PKJ getting kicked off before he could tell the Aethyr story he was building up to, Waid bringing in Morrison's Phantom King does make me happy.

Detective Comics - Taylor taking over made me breathe a sigh of relief. For now he remains quarantined to the Batbooks and Elseworlds.

Nightwing - Watters and Soy are going to finally give us the epic run Nightwing deserves. Watters deserves to be a "big writer" and with any luck this will be what elevates him to that level.

Batman & Robin - Damnit PKJ, you really going to make me read a mainline Bat book? Fine but you better continue the Olgrun plotline through this somehow. In all seriousness with Zdarsky and Taylor being on the other books I expect this will be the best mainline Batman book on the stands. Every previous time PKJ has written Batman has been enjoyable, and I trust him of all writers to do something different with Batman. Let this be the book that gets the general DC audience to take notice of how good he's been elsewhere.

Titans - Nah.

Green Arrow - Wish Montos luck, he deserves to be one of DC's A-List artists, but not interested in Green Arrow.

Exciting shake-ups are on the way, going to have to start trimming my pull again. Anything that doesn't wow me is getting dropped because I need the cash for all those Absolute books, which appear to be stacked creatively.

[thebestofoneshots]

firstly, I absolutely adore your blog!! <3 ur so cool

secondly im curious to know- what marvel superhero would you assign to each of the marauders? I personally think sirius would love ironman, he’s so tony stark coded

AH, you're combining some of my favourite fandoms, babe! Which is why I might end up writing a way deeper analysis than I need to lol. But let's go through it one by one.

My darling James, the golden boy of his era, he is 100% Captain America. He is hell-bent on protecting those he loves, and he would do anything for them. Also, he's been in love with one girl for all of his life. It's just so fitting for him, I feel?

But also, I feel like James could also be a great Spiderman (and that is probably his favourite superhero), especially younger James, with his charm and charisma and how he is loved and cherished by his people. Also, he is totally in love with a redhead.

Remus Lupin is a complicated one. You know, I feel like Hulk is quite fitting, since you know he gets angry and turns into a green monster, which kind of relates to Rem in a deeper level. Having said that, I think his superhero would be Moon Knight and I'm ready to diе on this grave.

Hear me out, it's about the deep-held emotional trauma and the way Steven and Jake came into existence to protect Mark, he would absolutely love, love Moon Knight, especially the Disney+ version of him. There's also the lack of control the multiple personalities entail (which is very much like Remus' turning into Moony) and the moon theme. Besides, Rem would totally have a mini crush on Oscar Isaac.

And for Sirius, I agree, he is definitely Iron Man coded and would love Tony, I mean it's in the daddy issues they share with each other, the family background, the rich kid persona and all that. But I also think Sirius would love, and I mean LOVE Peter Quill (StarLord).

StarLord also has family issues, but he grew to become an absolutely charming character, sharing his love for beings with Sirius (aka they're both a little bit of heartbreakers) and he is super funny, which I feel Sirius would love. They both love music, and Sirius would praise Starlord's taste every single day of the week. Something else Siri would love about StarLord is his found family. He met the Guardians of the Galaxy and they all adopted each other, in the same way, Sirius adopted and was adopted by James and Remus.

Reggie is Bucky Barnes (and this is one of my favourite Marvel characters). Bucky was brainwashed and tortured by Hydra, in pretty much the same way Reggie was by his family. He shared that traumatic past and his absolute desire to be better, and to improve, he doesn't want to be a deatheater anymore and he fights for what's good. Also, if he is Bucky and James is Cap, we can have a bit of Starchaser hehe.

Lily loves Spiderman, and not because James does, nah, Lily has been a fan since she was a kid, she loves his sense of justice and how he fights for what's good. Spiderman's motto "With great power, comes great responsibility" is literally Lily's bible.

Marlene is into Black Window, and not only bc she has a massive crush on her, but because she thinks she is the most badass character in the entire fucking Marvel universe, no joke. She can stand against beasts three times her size, and fight alongside the most powerful superheroes on earth by being just a human woman? She is INCREDIBLE!

Mary gives me Vision vibes, I'm not sure why, but I totally see her reading Vision fanfiction and writing some too.

Barty is a Loki kid, you cannot change my mind. I mean, forgotten and neglected child who has to be exceptionally good at everything to get the attention from his dad? He becomes evil bc he thinks it's the only way he'll get Odin to see him? This to me screams Barty, and he would love Loki.

And lastly, I think Evan likes Quick Silver. Firstly, he thinks he's super hot, but he also loved his relationship with his sister, and he loves Pietro's charm. There's just something about him that he can't stop thinking about. I also feel he would like Mystique, but that's due to her complicated past, and her ability to become anything anyone she wants. He feels it would be so freeing to do that.

PS. Didn't I say I'd go crazy with this analysis? Aaaah I'm such a nerd...

[whatbettyread]

Pulling Swords from Stones: What's the matter with YA King Arthur Retellings

I have read a lot more this year than I have in a long time, and basically read anything someone recommended me. I tried to stay in the umbrella of queer, indie, and diverse voices. Unfortunately, that means I never want to be mean! I don't want to kick diverse voices or smaller creators, and I don't want to discourage those creatives. On the other other hand, I appreciate people being bitchy, especially when it's about a book that I was interested in. So I'm splitting the difference-- overly positive on goodreads, with my negative comments here, where nobody will read them.

I know part of the Cait Corrain (sp?) drama was that she was reviewing indie authors and friends positively but being negative on alt accounts, and I hope that's not what I'm doing here. I think both of these books are relatively big, and I don't know the authors personally, but I also think they're small enough the creators might come across the reviews. Hopefully they're smart enough to avoid reading reviews.

This is about the following books:

Once and Future

Gwen and Art are Not In Love

Probably needlessly negative, which is why it's under a cut, but:

Once and Future is the only book I definitively DNFed this year. It should be a slam dunk for me: I love sci fi, I've had "Arthur comes back as a marginalized person" as a concept in my head for decades, I love queer characters and characters of color taking the lead. Once and Future has all of these things!

Once & Future, by A.R. Capetta, Cory McCarthy, is billed as a "bold, sizzling YA retells the popular legend with the Once and Future King as a teenage girl -- and she has a universe to save." The protagonist is a plucky teenager, a woman of color, and queer-- sapphic, even-- living with her brother and on the run from a spacefaring megacorporation.

Even setting aside the Arthur of it all, I had a few issues with this book from the jump. Capetta and McCarthy both seem uncomfortable with writing a woman of color as their protagonist-- one of the authors is part Lebanese, but there still seemed to be a lot of discomfort with how they wrote those characters. You could feel the difference between how they write Ari and how they write Merlin: Merlin is immediately a comfortable point of view.

The introduction of Merlin into the story is actually where I fell off. Merlin is The Merlin, from the Arthur Times. He wakes up in the far future and misgenders someone, and then is corrected. He immediately apologizes and becomes Woke.

And this made me feel crazy! Because it was simultaneously too easy and not easy enough. Merlin is The Merlin from Arthurian Times, who Wakes Up Every Few Hundred Years and Updates His Knowledge. So... he has never met a single nonbinary person for thousands of years? He is not held to any sort of social norm from the Arthurian time period, or does he just update his understanding super quickly once corrected? There's no bafflement from the protagonists-- who have only existed in a world where gender is fluid-- why someone would struggle with the idea of nonbinary people. And then Merlin explains that he is from the past and has outdated ideas!

Third genders and nonbinary genders were on Earth during the Arthurian era, just outside of England-- did Merlin just keep all his vast knowledge confined to the British isles?

It felt like a handwave: a way for Merlin to stay "outdated" and to address the changes in time, while also showing that he's a good dude who will update his ideas immediately when confronted. It felt too easy-- and if you want it to be easy, why not have him interact with nonbinary people at a previous time? He is specifically written to be The Merlin, but the authors seem like they don't want to tackle what having a dude from the 5th century running around would actually be like.

Similarly, Gwen and Art are Not In Love wants to split playing with the time period with having things be Easy. The novel doesn't commit to a time period, so the extent to which homophobia existed is hard to pin down. We are in generic middle ages time period, maybe after the 12th century: the references to Arthur are about cycles, rather than a true retelling. This is the story of Gwen and Art, who are betrothed, but Gwen is in love with the Only Lady Knight, and Art is gay. They fake date to get people off their backs.

Unlike Once and Future, Gwen and Art is mostly just trying to be a good time. It really reads like fanfiction. I enjoyed it! Really. But the second I turned my brain back on, the ramifications. The rammies. The book is interested in some of the history and politics, but is fearful of making any institution seem truly flawed. There is a civil war coming, but we aren't shown why people might want to fight against their ruler: Gwen has a servant she mistreats, but they're actually friends its fine. Once you have a rebellion: people who are unhappy under a ruler-- one has to start asking questions.

I don't tend to like stories about royals. I'm originally from the UK: I don't like the idea that magic blood makes someone better than me. But I can deal with this for a story written well: either one that explores what royalty means, or one that ignores it.

I think a lot about Bridgerton in terms of this. The race-blind casting in the show is fantastic and the actors are brilliant and beautiful-- and then they explain it by saying George III married a black woman and it... ended racism? And I didn't need an explanation! I didn't want one. But once you say that, I start thinking about the period being built on the slave trade, the British Empire built on the stolen wealth of Africa and India, and George III being mad, and how he would never be allowed to marry Charlotte, and if he used his royal power to do that-- would the colonies revolt sooner? I mean, think about what the west did to Haiti--

You see what I mean?

Both books try and straddle between "legitimate retelling" and "don't worry about it." But I'm going to worry about it if you bring it up!

The Goblin Emperor is a book that is very concerned with the morality of Empire. It doesn't shy away from the idea that Empire itself is a toxic thing, even when led by a good ruler, and that even a good ruler will struggle with the machinery of empire. The Twelve Kingdoms tackles the idea of royalty differently: the Royal in charge of a Kingdom is actually tied to the well-being of the land and its people. Many of the snapshots we get are to see how different rulers manage-- or don't manage- their kingdoms. You are King as long as you serve your country-- and emphasis on Serve.

Additionally, they seemed to suffer from the "fujoshi's curse"-- something I say fondly, as a sufferer myself on occasion, but still a detractor.

The fujoshi's curse is this: you are more interested in your male characters than your female ones, even as a woman or as a queer person ostensibly writing about multiple genders of character. Both this and Gwen and Art suffer from this: the authors seem to struggle to enjoy the female protagonists, or to understand their attraction to women. In Gwen and Art, Gwen is implied to be demisexual: this is fine and good! But since she's the only queer woman whose interiority we're invited into, we get the vibe that her attraction is only to this particular Lady Knight. When her attraction is described, it doesn't feel comfortable for the writers. In Once & Future, once Merlin is introduced, he is immediately the writers favorite.

Both books seem to feel like wlw relationships are an obligation, something you need to avoid people telling you that you're just fetishizing mlm relationships. They feel flat. Gwen has been in Love With Lady Bridget, but also kind of wants to be Lady Bridget. The writers keep adding elements to their relationship as though adding hooks will find something to keep them interested. But Lady Bridget, and Gwen, are somewhat superfluous to the story. They are given things to do that seem plot important, but the narrative exists primarily for Gwen's brother and Art.

Gwen is punished by the narrative for her cowardice, without the narrative leaving any room for why a woman might be more cowardly than a man at that time period. Gwen is portrayed as being in the wrong for caring what other people think: her arc is her being brave and breaking the rules and maybe being nicer to servants.

What is the point of a King Arthur retelling? What is the point of taking a story about Kings and Royalty and the Inevitable Good of The Ruling Class and rewriting it with members of the underclass? Gwen and Art say: everyone else gets a fun middle ages romance, in the system of middle ages royalty, so we queers get one too. Once and Future says: you think you like the inevitable power of the ruling class? Well this is a brown, queer woman from the underclass, and she has been gifted this power. They do not go beyond that. They do not ask more questions.

At one point, in Gwen and Art, Lady Bridget, the only female knight, the only character of color in the book, lifts the sword from the stone and wields it in battle. What are the consequences of this? A few jokes. When she is at tourneys, some people talk about it, but she doesn't like it. Gwen's brother, Art's boyfriend, becomes the King. The Good King. And he Makes Gay Marriage Legal.

We know there are flaws in the kingdom, in the system. We know that, in Once and Future, the Evil Corporation infects everything, is galaxy spanning and all powerful. But the problems are fixed, in both, without violence. Violence comes from outside: from the violent members of a cult. Their invasion is repelled, and the system is fixed by the royals from the inside. In Gwen And Art, the Good King rising to the throne brings about a period of liberal niceties and wokeness, but with the King. In Once and Future, paperwork and a marriage Fix the galaxy.

Both books tackle Class with characters from different ends of the system, but both conclude with remarkably similar ideas. The rise of liberalism, and a 20th century moral outlook, brought about by the Right People Being in Charge.

What do the villains want? In Gwen and Art, they want to be in charge, because they're part of an Arthurian cult. In Once and Future, they're a fascist neoliberal government corporation. But it never feels like the enemy is an ideology or a people: the enemy is an obstacle we need to get past, but it doesn't come from anything.

I'm not just a killjoy: like I said, I enjoyed Gwen and Art well enough when I was reading it. But both retellings seemed to stop at "we are recasting with diverse characters." Why? What does it say? What does it mean? What are the themes, and how are they challenged by these changes? Royalty, empire, corporate oligarchy, the existence of Kings: all of these things are parts of oppressive systems, and the stories we tell about them are about those oppressive systems.

Secret royalty stories have existed forever: the pauper who is a prince is a classic tale. Those stories say: royal blood always floats to the surface. Subversions, too, have something to say. But you have to figure out what.

[astramachina]

For those of you who've been following me for a while now, there's a good chance you got to experience my journey reading the Remembrance of Earth's Past series last year. I loved Three-Body Problem, but The Dark Forest and Death's End were like pulling teeth. Both books had their very very good moments, but getting through them was a tedious experience I considered giving up on on multiple occasions. I will give it to Cixin Liu tho, I needed to know how the series ended and that alone was the sole reason I pushed towards the finish line. Any author that can make me tough out bad writing for the sake of seeing the end deserves some kind of award (and he won a ton anyway, so).

I approached the Netflix series with zero expectations given their propensity for shitty adaptations (One Piece notwithstanding), but after watching the first episode I was left cautiously optimistic.

Having watched all 8 episode I'm still unsure how to feel about it. I spent most of the series hitting pause to rant at my roommate about it, both positively and negatively.

I had many issues with the books, but some of the more obvious ones came from a writing standpoint. I love hard sci-fi. I could not excuse the sheer length of those final two books. The atrocious treatment of women as objects to romance and use as bartering for the main character. The abysmal MCs (specifically Luo Ji) that made me want to yell to the high heavens due to annoying they were. The lack of human connection between characters.

For books so steeped in sociopolitical and ethical commentaries, the flagrant misogyny and homophobia was eye-rolling. And not even in a "This is Bad" sort of way, just in a "This is So Fucking Boring" kind of way. I cannot speak for the author's biases, because the contents of a book in no way reflects the views of an author or their character.

Where the books shone the brightest were during the battle scenes, the looming dread, genuinely horrific thought experiments.

And, surprisingly? It feels like the people at Netflix thought the same.

I've never watched Game of Thrones but I understood why people were against it from the get-go. That, along with the whole "whitewashing" thing which I consider to be interesting. For starters, you're using whitewashed wrong. Yes, they moved the central story from China to England which was... a fascinating choice, but of the core five (that quickly became the core four), only two of them are white. I'm not saying it was okay for a western adaptation to take a cast and further diversify it, I'm just saying that that's not whitewashing.

That aside, I did like some of the choices that were made from a narrative standpoint. Reshuffling and streamlining events, for one. Removing the whole plot line about Luo Ji hunting down a woman who he invented in his head in order to marry her? I'm not entirely sold on the idea of taking core events and divvying them up between four different people, but I do understand what they're trying to do.

The book series failed at crafting believable and impactful relationships between its human characters, which made the narrative feel hollow and one-dimensional. This adaptation aimed to change this by slapping a band-aid over the issue. Like I said, I'm still unsure of how I feel about this.

A lot of unnecessary stuffing was removed to make a suitable run time, and I say unnecessary because there's really no scenes that are making me go "oh, I wish this had been included". Was some stuff rushed? Yes. The passage of time could have been outlined a little better, but that's a small nitpick on my end.

The scale of things was toned down, and I don't think Netflix has the capability (or budget) to tackle space battles.

Honestly? I don't really see this getting a second season for a variety of reasons, and I'd be okay with that.

It was an "okay" watch, in the end.

Tho, I'm still flabbergasted by the random "gory scary jumpscare" scenes????? Where did those come from??? I don't remember anything like that being in the books but, you know. I've read a lot more books since finishing these, so.

[coldflasher]

last thing i needed today was to sit through multiple hours of conversation with my mum's shitty boyfriend in which he

told me i should "prioritize driving lessons above all else" (the irony in this will become clear from the points below because he then spent the rest of the afternoon negging me and calling me lazy and unmotivated for not doing other things he thinks i should be dedicating more time to, in an act of sheer, breathtaking hypocrisy)

questioned me about why i have issues driving and then when i explained that it makes me anxious he said "just remember that a car is like a missile. you could easily kill someone with it and also everyone else on the road is trying to kill you." IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME *LESS* ANXIOUS, YOU FUCKING PILLOCK?? i was like yeah thoughts like that are literally the ENTIRE PROBLEM but thanks :)

derided me for not having finished my novel yet, even though i sincerely doubt the man has ever written so much as a coherent text message. also i specifically told my mum i didnt want to talk to him about writing cos i knew he'd be a dick about it and oh look

made numerous comments accusing me of "making excuses" for not going to the gym, when i know for a fact he also does not go to the gym or exercise at all. also made weird comments about how my mum eats too much and how we "shovel food in our faces". get fucked get fucked get FUUUUUCKED. my mum is borderline eating disordered. she will literally walk around the garden in circles to hit her step goal and also has earnestly told me that she aims to eat 1200 calories a day, which is an appropriate calorific intake for a toddler, not a woman in her fifties, and i am entirely convinced it is at least 50% his fault

then he started talking about how he'd just spent £50 on a "grounding blanket" that is supposed to absorb all the electrical currents from the human body to make you more aligned with the earth or some other wank. truly incredible. i was like hm now im no expert but don't we need those electrical signals to you know. keep our brains working. not that that's a problem you often encounter, i'm sure

[fancyfade]

What do you think of Marv Wolfman as a writer?

I think that he has a lot stronger ideas than he has execution.

Ok so I love NTT, and Wolfman wrote NTT, so you'd think I'd be like "he's amazing omg I love him forever".

But.

The comic does take a notable downturn in quality when Perez leaves after Terror of Trigon. This isn't necessarily only due to Wolfman. By this time, the comic had been going on about 5 years and I think anyone would start to run out of ideas by then. (tho the quality also did rise again when Perez joined for the Donna Troy arc :P) The comic continues to drop in quality getting pretty much unreadably bad by issue 71 (a period of comics i have tagged on my tumblr as "wtt (link)" standing for either Wolfman's Teen Titans or Worst Teen Titans depending on ur opinion :P)

anyway, but if it was just writing on NTT (after 5 great years - though not without flaws, I'm sure I've already blabbered about the stuff that I find flawed in NTT a lot on my tumblr) going downhill I wouldn't say he's not really a great writer, but also I'm not impressed by anything else he's written really.

Like he wrote some Superman issues in the post Crisis continuity that I read. I found them generally weaker than Byrne's issues (and this is from someone who hates Byrne's XD tho that's more of for Wonder Woman stuff than superman). he also wrote Raven: Daughter of Darkness which was again pretty mid.

More on "good ideas, eh execution": according to the back of Superman: The Man of Steel volume 1, Marv did have the inspiration for my favorite take on Lex Luthor that was started in the 6 issue man of steel miniseries by John Byrne

Anyway, "entitled billionaire lex" who has a positive public rapport (in general) but is still a scumbag is my favorite interpretation of Lex. He can use rhetoric to make it sound like he's interested in helping metropolis or the earth, but it's not motivated from anything besides self-interest.

anyway but that's why I say marv has good ideas and meh execution :P

[kissitbttr]

TJANK FUCKING GOD YOURE TALKING ABOUT THE R@PE SHIT IN THIS FANDOM. I'm actually in disbelief of how often it's being written. And I get the whole 'dont like, then scroll' and whatever, but when I open up my dash/tags and the first FIVE FUCKING FICS are r@pe fics???? And there's more every day, by the same, but also newer writers??? Wanna know what that is? Normalization. There's one blog on here that's so so so bad for it. And honestly, I get darker content, and I get the interest in rape from a psychological and conditional aspect, but that is when it's being taken seriously. These writers on here? Yeah, they're not fucking taking it seriously. If I see one more '💕🌷🎀' on a r@pe fic, I'm going to fucking lose it.

I can't imagine showing a survivor of SA one of these fics and telling them there is more like it. Like... How embarrassing. But the excuse is that the writers were SA'd and that this is the way they can work through their trauma. Personally, that literally does not add up to me. But! I'm not a psychologist so I can't dictate how someone works through their trauma. But, I can have an opinion on what they put on a public domain. And that's where the whole COD fandom issue lies. There is literally no healthy discourse. If you ask someone why they write about r@pe, they either block you, publicly slander you like you're the idiot for asking about a r@pe fic (???), or tell you to fuck off or something. Like... Why can't we just have a healthy discussion about it?? ESPECIALLY in a fandom with a pretty large female following. We SHOULD be talking about this not being hostile to each other, writers and readers alike.

Idk, sorry for the word dump. I spent four hours talking to a friend about this (who doesn't have Tumblr) and the general consensus was the same. I wish people could just think a little more critically. Just because you have a kink, or think somethings hot, doesn't always mean it's okay. And when you're consistently writing about it as a way to work through it, and posting it online, that just might be a sign that you should talk to a professional, cause there's nothing wrong with getting a second opinion.

took the fucking words outta my mouth babe. you are so RIGHT

tbh i never seen someone actively open about their trauma and say that they write the r*** fics as a way for them to cope. that’s definitely new to me. i mean, i’m no expert too and i can’t exactly say and tell them how to feel but yea that’s a little… bizarre. whether or not they’re using that as an excuse so they can write it i have nothing to say abt that. but if it’s a lie then they can go fuck themselves.

it’s not only this fandom i believe, right? there’s gotta be more and that’s the most fucked up thing about it. like i do not need to know you’re some mentally fucked individual who enjoys writing and reading about r*** content, u keep that shit to yourself. do not bring that bullshit here.

it’s pretty saddening to know that telling ppl to fuck off is their only response. which makes me realized that they are only good for one thing. how could you not have any ounce of decency in you to actually be aware of those things and realize that r*** is not okay and will never be okay?? I don’t care what’s the excuse or whatever reasons u want to bring to the table. if u don’t wanna talk about how r*** takes the joy out of a SA victim and leave a permanent scar in which they have to live with everyday, then there is no point in writing them at all.

and also, you know what saddens me more? the blogs that normally write them comes from women. because, man… you should’ve known better… you should’ve known that no woman on earth could ever live in peace knowing that one exact fear is the reason why we are so terrified of going out alone. why we are so terrified of men. why would you ever go out your way and change these beautiful characters to be some sort of evil spawn ?? weird ass bitches.

don’t be sorry for the word dump!! because i’m glad that some of you came into my inbox and expressed your thoughts about this particular bullshit.

they do need to get some help. and i mean this in the most nicest and disrespectful way possible tbh.

[lord-squiggletits]

Also speaking of absurd plots in Barber's writing, shout out to that time he wrote a scene of Optimus and the US President talking. And the US president who's a black woman and her father was a civil right's activist has nothing to say about the fact that a police officer in her country getting killed by Jazz was a big reason ppl don't trust the Autobots? Like, a major diplomatic incident b/t humans and Autobots just never gets discussed? Optimus never goes "so heyyy the reason my soldier killed a police officer is because he was about to kill injured and surrendering Autobots, can I get a pardon for that? Or maybe some kind of editorial where we get to clear the air and show both sides of that incident? In the spirit of transparency and fairness not only to your people but also mine?"

Like.

The black female president whose father was a civil rights activist has nothing to say about an incident of a police officer about to fire on surrendering suspects, and then the media treats his attempted killing as him being the noble police officer just doing his duty who was completely in the right to shoot??? Why was this major diplomatic incident not part of some major convention between humans and Autobots? Why did Jazz/Optimus never get to share their side of this incident on an official political or diplomatic channel? Why did Barber write one of his politician characters as being left-leaning and clearly in-tune with social justice issues, having nothing to say about a police officer from her country (a country infamous for police brutality and racial inequality, which she would know personally because she's a black woman) being the subject of an interplanetary dispute causing tension between Earth and the alien civilization trying to help them not get colonized by Decepticons?

Instead the purpose of that scene was like... I don't even remember, it was basically the US pres going "my father was a civil rights activist" and Optimus is like "hm I guess I'll leave Jazz out to dry for the sake of diplomatic relations." I don't understand why the only possible outcome of the story was for Optimus to just abandon Jazz when, as Jazz' commanding officer and a representative of Cybertron, he would've been within his rights (and indeed, may have had such meetings during the war) to demand some sort of trial to clear Jazz' name? Like, the fact that Optimus had this diplomatic power but didn't even try to use it, and the US President had a character background to make her sympathetic and she didn't bring up a trial either, just feels like a massive plot hole.

It's just so fucking bad because not only does the treatment of that incident not make sense logic wise (an international/interplanetary? incident of that magnitude is DEFINITELY something that would be discussed between the leaders of the two nations in question), it also kind of makes Barber's attempts to put progressive politics in the comics look really stupid? Like. Shouldn't a black female president whose father was a civil rights activist go "Ah yes, unfortunately I'm very familiar with pro-police propaganda and the way police are often potrayed as people who can do no wrong. We should talk more about this incident of your soldier killing a police officer, maybe have some sort of trial to determine wrongsoing. Because the fair thing to do is to give alleged victims an attempt to speak and not just assume the police are in the right." Like the US President isn't supposed to be a super important character in the plot or anything, but I just think it's really fucking weird to add this US Civil Rights Era background to one of your characters and then have her not react sympathetically at all to an incident of attempted police brutality.

It really seemed like that whole plot of Optimus deciding that public image is more important than saving Jazz feel super forced and stupid, not to mention it portrayed a minority character with activist backgrounds as being apathetic to an issue she should have a lot of stake in.

...

Also have I mentioned that the incident I'm referring to of Jazz killing a police officer was an event specifically orchestrated by Megatron? Who seeded mind-controlling, paranoia-inducing guns among Earth's populace with the specific goal of poisoning Autobot-human relations? And Megatron literally did an evil monologue about this plan in front of Spike and another Skywatch operative, and Spike is still part of the military in the present day, meaning that he would've known that Jazz killing a police officer was just part of a plan by Megatron BECAUSE HE WAS LITERALLY RIGHT THERE WHEN MEGATRON EXPLAINED IT AND IMMEDIATELY RAN TO TRY AND STOP THE INCIDENT FROM OCCURRING???

[outoutdamnspark]

I just found this in my drafts and I don’t remember writing it or where exactly I was going with it, but hey! Have some random Gardenshipping thoughts!

(cw: none. one minor suggestive mention of office stuff. under cut for length)

For all the silverfox!Emmet x Reina stuff I’ve thought of, for some reason I’ve never thought of Reshiram!Emmet x Reina before? So...

🔥 I imagine Emmet is an aspect of Reshiram - not the god-dragon in full, but a piece of it. He’s probably reincarnated several hundred times by now, as the mortal aspect of Truth, and has memories of all his previous mortal incarnations as well as Reshiram’s memories and probably even a good chunk of Kyurem’s. The man is A Mess™️, especially after Ingo, his twin, his brother, his other half (platonic, don’t make it weird), vanishes. After all, what is Truth without Ideals to give it purpose?

🔥 That’s why, when he meets Reina and she becomes his personal assistant at Gear Station, he gravitates towards her. Just like in Gardenshipping canon, he starts to fall for her because of her genuinely kind and caring nature; she also has no idea he’s a piece of a fucking god, so she just treats him like a normal person. Not a celebrity trainer, not a deity, just. As Emmet. And he soaks it up like a man dying of thirst. Here’s this beautiful young woman who truly doesn’t care what or who he is, she just wants to make sure he’s eating and sleeping and taking care of himself. How can he not be intrigued by her?

🔥 He can also smell dishonesty a mile away and he can tell Reina is just actually that good of a person. Sure, she lies about her living situation (she doesn’t tell him that she’s unhoused for the longest time), but I’d imagine Emmet can also tell the intent of a falsehood, so he probably picks up on the fact that any lie she tells is born from the need to survive, rather than malice or the desire to mislead. She isn’t hurting anyone - she just wants to keep her misfortunes private, and Emmet can... sooooort of understand that? (He might not like it, it makes him worry about her, but in the end it really only affects Reina herself, which makes Emmet bound and determined to get to the bottom of her problems and help her in any way he can. The man is SMITTEN.)

🍃 On Reina’s side, I honestly don’t think she’s all that religious; Reina is from Kanto originally, and she has a lot of internalized stuff from the local belief system (i.e. she’ll say things like “Legends” or “Birds” in place of “Arceus” or “Dragons”). She’ll probably still have a subconscious desire to believe in something, but she doesn’t actively practice anything. Also, having only been in Unova for a couple of years at most, she might not really understand the region’s religion all that much. She probably doesn’t really think about it - which. Valid.

🍃 That being said, she would probably not know how to handle being face to face with a literal piece of a deity. For starters, her entire worldview would be - at the very least - a little bit shaken. After all, if you go from nearly thirty years of disillusionment and not fully believing in anything because you’ve been through absolute hell, to suddenly finding out the man you’re in love with (and who’s been railing you over his desk every day) is the Incarnation of Truth, you miiiiiight need a moment to process.

🍃 (That last part, especially, because how on earth do you reconcile the fact that you’ve had an actual god between your legs?)

🍃 Reina already has hella self worth issues, so to find out that her boyfriend isn’t even human, she might not handle it well for a while. In her eyes, what could a god possibly see in a lowly human like her? She still loves him, that part will never change, but she’ll have to take some time to try and reorient before she can even work up the courage to go near him again.

🔥 Emmet, in the meantime, is going to be utterly distraught. He’ll put on his trademark Subway Master Emmet smile, but it’ll be hanging on with a hope and a wish, because he is not doing okay knowing that the love of his life might be terrified of him now. He can’t lie, no, but he’s gotten really, really good at talking around the truth after countless lifetimes, so anyone that asks how he’s doing is getting a series of non-answers until he can slip away. Reina makes him feel normal, human almost, which is something he’s never fully gotten to experience - because while he might be a shard of a Dragon, he’s still somewhat his own entity, since he’s, you know, actually out in the world of man and not sitting dormant in a rock somewhere. He’s constantly torn between two halves of his own existence, and the thing that made it bearable all this time was his twin; with Ingo gone, however, Emmet has been feeling the extra weight of responsibility around his shoulders like a yolk for damn near a decade.

🔥 Until Reina.

🔥 (Like in regular Gardenshipping canon, one of the reasons Emmet falls for Reina is because she just treats him like a person. Doesn’t fawn, doesn’t get close to him just to challenge him, doesn’t pity him; just sits with him and lets him be a regular guy.)

🔥 I’m also imagining the way Reina even finds out Emmet is one of the God Dragons of Unova is uhhhhhhh not the most pleasant of circumstances. Probably Team Plasma, but I’m picturing there being some sort of siege on Gear Station or an attack somewhere that requires Reshiram’s attention, and somehow, someway, Reina winds up witnessing Emmet with his more draconian features and spewing ethereal fire. Get that sweet, sweet ‘oh shit’ moment with Emmet turning around, eyes slitted and glowing, claws out, wings sprouting from his back, fire still trickling from between fangs too big for a human mouth, only to see Reina standing there, completely frozen, just staring at him. 

🔥 The follow-up conversation is gonna be... a lot.

🍃 I feel like it’ll take about a week or so for her to be able to talk to him again