#highest grade I got on a test all year

[romanticize-until-you-drop]

2023-12-30

Spent a day at the library with my friend — have never seen the place so empty. I suppose most people who don’t have finals at a weird time like us are enjoying their holidays. But not for me: no, calculus continues to haunt my dreams.

[cheriladycl01]

When at work - Lando Norris x UniStudent! Reader

Plot: Lando has known you since you were born, literally childhood friends. You went to every karting weekend with him until he started to travel more. As childhood lovers who have been dating for 8 years what happens when the general public find out about you?

You'd known Lando since you were born just two years after him, and so until Year 4 when you excelled in your academics you were a school year behind him, you were moved up a year to his year. You followed him to the karting tracks when you were little being his biggest supporter and if you go back and look at interviews you'll always be spotted talking animatedly to his family about the race.

You had very strict parents about schooling and they wouldn't let you miss any days off, you could go to karting with Lando, after school or on the weekends but you couldn't take days off school for his races.

"Mum please! I want to go support him!" you cried when she told you that you couldn't have the day off to go watch Lando kart in one of his first proper championship races.

"No Y/N, Lando has found something he is good at... you are a smart girl and school is where you should be!" you mum had refused, smiling at you sadly.

"Dad?" you cried looking over at your dad, who would normally say yes to any request you had, especially if it involved Lando and his dad Adam, as they were friends.

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry but I'll have to agree with your mum on this one" he sighs pulling you into a hug. Those days at school that Lando wasn't there were lonely to say the least, Lando's friends wouldn't hang out with you if it was only you and you didn't have any of friends.

Eventually Lando quit school when he got to British Formula three, there he made lots of new friends including Max, who he introduced to you. You would miss Lando in school, and tried to branch out to make new friends but nothing felt as close as the bond you shared with Lando.

"Y/N, this is my friend Max I met him in karting" he smiles pulling you closer to Max.

"Erm, hi" you had smiled shyly at Max, who smiled back at you. With Max it felt like he was genuinely interested in getting to know you unlike Lando's school friends who just sort of acknowledged your existence because of Lando.

You and Max of course made fast friends after this.

This was 2015, and he asked you there and then to be his girlfriend. At first you laughed and said no, because you thought he was joking and one of the boys from karting had dared him as a cruel joke. But after lots of groveling on his behalf you said yes.

In 2016, you managed to exceed in your GCSE'S getting 6 A* to B grades. Lando had come just to celebrate with you. The next year you did the last of your GCSE's getting 7 more A* - B grades making you come out with 13 GCSE's in total. Lando had come to celebrate with you, while you had gone to celebrate with him that he had won the Formula 3 championship.

He of course, was promoted to Formula 2 for the 2018 season and became a test and reserve driver for Mclaren, which made you so proud because this was his way of being able to get into Formula One. You went on to do your Alevel-s, which were Maths, Physics, Design and Technology and Law. You were now just turned 17 and looking at universities you could go to, and looking at what degree you wanted to go into.

He came second in Formula 2, just behind the other British Racing Driver George Russell. And was promoted to F1 for the 2019 Season and would be in his rookie season.

Halfway through his first season which had gone pretty well with only 2 DNF's and him coming 6th highest, you'd finished your exams and had got offers back from all 5 universities you'd applied to. It was sad really, you'd applied to the University of Surry and University of Royal Holloway just to be near the Mclaren Technology Centre so you could be closer to Lando in the off season.

You'd ended up choosing Cambridge University in the end and spend the rest of your summer until the end of September travelling to races with Lando, you went with his Dad, having his other spare pass. You saw him in Monaco, Canada, France, Austria, Silverstone, Germany and Hungry before you spent the summer break in Greece together along with Max. Then you came with him to Belgium, Italy and Singapore before you had to go home to move into student accommodation.

As a rookie there wasn't too much focus on Lando, but when a girl was spotted with him in the paddock for 10 races, people had questions. After they did some digging they worked out that you were childhood friends with Lando and you were in his older and definitely cringier Instagram pictures, and they checked his tagged photos which led them to your account that he was following.

Luckily it was private but you were shocked at the influx of follow requests.

Rumors spread and people deducted that you must be his girlfriend. It made you nervous but Lando promised to go at your pace.

Your first year of university was cut short, everything went into lockdown, and you were alone in your little dorm room with 5 other housemates. It was a month until you finished all your exams online, and made the decision to travel to Lando's to live with him.

You ended up staying with him for the whole lockdown, and then travelling around with him for the whole of the 2020 season. You managed to do this while studying as your campus was shut for the whole of 2020 and most of 2021. You had an amazing second year grade passing with a 92 overall school having a 1st in your second year. So when 2021 came around you'd applied for Formula One internships so you could keep travelling around with Lando and almost all of them as they already knew you accepted you, you had a difficult time deciding who to go with.

Eventually you went with Red Bull, of course Lando had made jokes about how betrayed he felt, but was happy for you being in a top constructor. You joined them for the 2021 Azerbaijan GP, on the 6th of June you were there for 17 races in 2021 and learnt so much from the team.

You spent until September 2022 with them having major input on the build of the 2022 Red Bull to the point Christian Horner ask for you to be shown on the Instagram. 14 races you spend with them and it was a wild ride before you had to go back to University for your final year.

At this point you and Lando had been together for 7 years strong now. People worked out how long you'd been together a while ago and it had really shocked them. They expected you to be engaged and ... well they weren't far off.

He proposed to you in the winter break of 2022 on a ski holiday he'd taken you on. All of your's and his family were there too see and it was beyond magical. You were going into the 2023 season with a Fiancé and your soulmate.

You let your Instagram go public during this time, the fans had been asking for more content from you. You appeared on streams, and Lando always posted you on his accounts. Now it was time for them to go and stalk you account, instantly people went back through your photos finding old pictures from when you and Lando were younger and then the more recent pictures that everyone thought were cute.

Now Lando had gone back to racing and you were starting revision for exams that would happen in May.

However, you didn't tell Lando, that money was getting a bit tight. You'd always been funny when it came to how much Lando earned and how he always insisted that you lived rent free with him and to not worry about it. So at the start of 2023, towards the end of your degree you got a little side job as a barista in an independent coffee shop.

Lando of course being busy now that it was the start of the 2023 season and he had a new rookie team mate to meet, he was none the wiser.

It was just a typical day at the coffee shop when you were with your colleague, making yourself a drink when a girl and her friend came in.

"Oh my gosh, your Y/N!" a voice says making you look up, you smile happily not thinking much off it because you were wearing a name badge so you assumed she got it from there.

"Yes, hello how can I help you today!" you ask politely stopping making your drink and walking over to the till.

"You're Y/N Lando Norris Fiancé right?" she asks and your mouth drops open in shock. You had been noticed around the paddock, of course you had... but this was the first time someone had come to you in public.

"Ah yes I am!" you smile shyly. The interaction was relatively normal, you served them their drinks and made conversation with them before having to go back and serve more customers.

You didn't notice them take pictures and videos of you interacting and serving customers, which of course made their way onto social media. Suddenly and influx of customers came, which was strange for a Tuesday afternoon.

As well as the influx of customers you had people come in with cameras, starting to take pictures.

"Y/N what is happening all of these people are asking for you" Rhianne your co-worker asks and that's when the blender turns off and you can hear people calling your name.

They were fans of F1.

"Hey Y/N Lando deserves better than you"

"Y/N why are you working minimum wage when you have a boyfriend with a net worth of over 10 mil"

"Y/N break up with Lando"

"Oh my god, how did they all know this is where I work" you say asking your colleague not sure what to even do.

"Okay, let's get you out the back. Call the police and I'll try keep up with orders" She says pushing you towards the exit, the staff room was on the other side of the shop so you were going to have to tackle your way through the mound of people.

Eventually after people shoving phones in your face and grabbing at your wrist. You manage to get into the staff area and lock the door. You were crying as you called the police, who said they'd send bodies to you immediately.

After you hung up, your phone started to ring and Lando's face popped up.

"Hi baby" you say trying to sound like your not crying. Your camera was facing up so he couldn't see you.

"Y/N show me where you are right now. I swear to god, if what I'm seeing on twitter is true" he huffs out making you pan down the camera to show the back room you were in. He was in Australia right now and had heard from Oscar that you were trending on twitter and looked scared.

"Are you safe?" he asks worried, making you burst into tears. You could suddenly feel everyone's hands back on you and your breathing goes shallow.

"Mmm, I had to call the police there was so many people" you cry, wiping your tears.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. Look after Australia, I'm coming to you okay! Why the fuck didn't you ask me if you needed money" he asks looking at you with that disappointed look you hated.

"Lando, you know how i feel about that" you say.

"Baby, your still in Uni. You shouldn't have to work. Do you parents know?" he asks, and you shake you head.

"Hey Y/N! How are you?" Oscar asks coming into view of the camera.

"I'm okay Oscar, I cant wait to meet you next week!" You smile at him, blinking away the tears that were still trying to come out.

"Oh, I think the police are here, but I'll call you when I'm home!" you say hearing a knock at the door.

"Ask them to take you home. You shouldn't walk round the streets alone! I love you darling" Lando sighs.

"I love you too Lando, thank you!"

A/N: I feel like this isn't very good, I'm sorry this feels like its so info dumpy and not much fluff!!

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @stupidandunnecessary @clayra-g @daemyratwst @honey-belden @moonypixel @lauralarsen @vader-is-hot @ironcowboycopnickel @itsjustkhaos @the-untamed-soul @beebo86 @happylittlereader @ziejustme @lou-larcher5 @thewulf @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @chillyleclerc @chanthereader @annoyingmoonballoon @summissss @evieepepi08 @havaneseoger08 @celesteblack08 @gulphulp @fandom1ruined2me @celebstories @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhh @georgeparisole @dakotatankbig @youcannotcancelquidditch @zzonsbeek @tallbrownhairsarcastic @mellowarcadefun @ourteenagetragedy @otako5811 @countingstacksandpanicattacks @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @hopexcroc @mirrorball-6 @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @lilypadlover @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @the-fem1n1ne-urge @21stcenturytaegi @dark-night-sky-99 @spideybv28 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle

[fandomtherapy44]

Five Hargreeves X reader Coffee and Sarcasm One shot!

Summary: Y/n works at Griddy's Coffee House to make money for school. It's not the best but it's not the worst. But everything gets more interesting when a certain customercomes in her life changes in best way.

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x reader

WC: 1.8k

divider from

Firefly Graphics

reblog banner from

cafekitsune

AN/ Hey Ya'll so... I hated the ending of TUA if you liked I'm happy you did but to me, it was the worst way to end such an amazing beloved show. I know it works logically with how the show is set up but it's just so dessperseing to think they never existed. And there was a lot more that was wrong with this season. But one of the biggest to me is LILA AND FIVE like WTF. I hate the excuse of oh Five needs a love interest, like no he does not his love story was always getting back to his family and saving them, and for Lila oh how they destroyed two great characters in the last two episodes how she was just was willingly cheat on Digeo and not to mention their kids!? So this is my take on Five and Having a Love Interest. I hope you enjoy it.

My life wasn’t perfect but good, I didn’t have adventures every day, and I could barely afford to go out of state to see my family every year. Like I said not perfect but good. I worked in a little coffee/doughnut shop named Griddy’s my boss was so sweet that she let me do my schooling on the side and would let me take the extra tips from the pool knowing that I didn’t have all the money when going to school.

“Ugh I can’t do it that guy is a total asshole, Y/n can you take him.” My coworker Becky asked me with pleading eyes. I looked up from my textbook. “He’s really that bad?” She huffs and puffs. “Well no he’s just so arrogant and sarcastic.” I looked back down at my book knowing I had to finish this section. “I would but I have to finish this-”

“You can take my tips from tonight.” That shuts me right up. “Did he already order any doughnuts?” I tied my apron back over my pink polyester uniform quickly. Becky was just able to give that up because she only had this job because she was rich and her parents forced her to get this job to teach her responsibilities even though they still paid for everything she was lucky. She gets a smirk on her face and a hand on her hip. “That’s what I thought, and no.” Correction she was a lucky bitch.

I walked out to this apparently horrible guy and surprisingly he was around my age and wearing a suit, interesting. “Hi I’m Y/n welcome to Griddy’s coffee what can I get you.” he puts down the newspaper and he was one of the cutest assholes I have ever seen. “Coffee black, and try not to burn which I know can be really hard but I need my fix so try okay?” And there is the arrogant and sarcastic part.

The guy had become almost a regular and came in every night at two am on the dot and in the same suit. He looked about twenty-one but around fifty years old in his eyes. This time he came to the bar. “Ahh so we are venturing out to the bar instead of our corner booth today are we?” I asked him teasing him as he sat down. He gave me his usual roll of his eyes and groan. “Y/n just the usual okay?” I wrote it down even though I had it memorized. A black coffee and one glazed doughnut. “Aye aye, captain.”

I got started on his coffee while he was going through some type of file. I put it in front of him and see what he’s going through. “You are in the CIA, no offense but wouldn’t you be like a kindergartener at our age to them?” He looks up at me a little caught off guard. “I tested very high in ninth grade.” That sounds very real. “Okay, then I should be in the same place I was the highest tester in every grade in eighth grade.” He gets a puzzled look. “Really?” 

“What’s that supposed to mean,” I questioned in defense with my hands on my hips. He realizes what he insinuated by accident. “Not that you are dumb I know you are very smart.” I now think he was just trying to save his ass from hot coffee being poured on him. “How?” He glances down at my textbooks. “You’re studying to be a lawyer a public self-defense one at that so that’s how I know. And even if you weren’t you are working every day for the future which I would know is important. I’m… sorry if I made you think otherwise.” I accepted his apology but he wasn’t off the hook yet. “Tell me your name then.” He was baffled. “What?”

“Yeah if I’m going to be serving you coffee for the perceivable future and you are truly sorry I would like your name.” “I can’t do that I’m a CIA agent.” I picked up his cup and canceled the doughnut. “Ok well have a nice life, sir.” I step away and head back to the back doors. I can hear him sigh and mumble something under his breath. “I can’t believe I’m doing this it’s five.” I turn back with a smug smile. I put the coffee back and lean down to him.

“What was that I couldn’t hear you?” He rolls his eyes and answers me. “It’s five.” “Five as in the number?” Five I guess, huffs. “No Five as in the letter, yes the number.” I go back to my standing pose. “Hey Five you just apologized for being an Ahole so watch it, and I like it ‘Five’. ” I said as I put my hands up like it was a headline. “Yeah yeah whatever.” He jokily waved me off. “So what else can I get you Five.” Oh, I was so going to use his name as much as possible.

Five and I had been having fun being sarcastic Aholes to each other but we knew not to push the limits. This night I was very stressed because I had a major test the next day and just couldn’t obtain the information. Five walks in on the dot with his usual snarky attitude. “Hey, waitress I can’t wait forever.” Of course, he was kidding, and had only been thirty seconds since he walked in. “Not in the mood Five,” I said without looking away from my textbook.

“Oh come on you know I can’t function without the best coffee in the world.” I gave him a side eye wanting to blow him off but when I looked in his deep brown eyes I couldn’t say no. “Fine, just so you dont act like a cranky old man again.” I go over to pour it when he looks at my textbook. “You have a test tomorrow?” I sigh and walk over shuffling a little.

“Yes, I do, that I’m totally going bomb that it’s not even funny.” He’s confused. “Why, you are one of the best students in that class.” He stated so straightforwardly with no question. It felt… good when he did it was different than when my friends or parents said the same thing. “For some reason, I can’t get any of the practice questions right.” I pointed at the sheet of questions. “I’ll help you study.” 

I was a little shocked I mean we were friendly but I didn’t know we were friends. “Five I can’t ask you to do that I’m sure you have an important CIA thing to do tomorrow or whatever.” He chuckles at my little jab. “You didn’t ask I’m offering, so better fill up that pot and sit down because you are going to pass this test.” I sit down across from him. “Thank you Five.” 

“Yeah yeah don’t say I never did anything for you.” 

I had the coffee fresh pot made and an extra glazed doughnut laid out when Five walked in. “What’s this- Whoa!” I threw my hands around him hugging him. “Thank you thank you thank you!” He seems unsure but then hugs me back. “I’m assuming that it went well.” I lean back with my arms still around him.

“Top of the class thanks to you!” For the first time, he gives me a genuine smile. “Good.” I then notice the tension between us I awkwardly let go and try to change the tension. “Um, I have everything ready for you. I got to go to do something I’ll be back.” I quickly scurry back to the doors I think about that moment and how it shifted how I saw him. Fuck I think I like Five.

It had been a couple of months after that moment and that I think I like Five has now changed into I know I like Five. So how the hell was I managing this crush good question, I wasn’t. Every time I looked at him my stomach did flips and would not stop. 

One day I was whipping down a table when a guy walked in and sat down at the bar. “Hi there what can getcha you.” He looks around like he was seeing something nostalgic. “Wow, it looks just like the other one.” He muttered. “What was that?” I asked.

“Oh, nothing I’ll talk a vanilla latte and chocolate eclair.” He then looks at the nametag. “Wait are you Y/n?” I look down I mean I think I am. “Right silly question my brother talks about you all the time. You know five.” Five? These two are brothers? “Five is your brother? And he talks about me?” 

“Right that does sound a little silly with how young he looks- I mean is, we are all adopted and my name is Viktor.” He holds out his hand and we shake. “Well, that makes more sense now.” I laugh. “Yeah he talks about how you want to public defense lawyer and how happy you make him so I wanted to thank you it’s been a while since he’s had a good friend.” Right friend what else would we be. “Of course but he can be a…” He finishes my sentence. “An asshole.” “Yes.” We both laughed.

Before I realized it had been six months since I first met Five and it was also Christmas the dinner was being decorated with a disgusting amount of Santas and jingle bells but I liked it reminded me of home. Five walks in an hour late. “Five you are late is your old mind finally catching up to you,” I smirked. “Ha ha, no I had to do something.” I was turned and there was a present on the counter. “Aww Five are you going soft on me.” “Just open it before the sun rises.”

I pull back the paper and there is a jewelry box. I opened it and there was a handmade bracelet. “Uh, I can take it back If-” He reaches for it. “No no, I love it thank you.” I go around the counter to hug him. This time tighter than last to show him I truly loved it. We let go slowly and he puts his hand on my cheek and we lean in. The kiss was slow but still passionate his lips a little chapped but still soft somehow. We let go and put our heads against each other giggling. I looked up and there was mistletoe. “Well, Five we just turned into a Hallmark cliche.” 

“I’m fine with that I’m just sad I didn’t do it sooner.” “Oh really, how long.”

“After I helped you study and you hugged me, Y/n I like you It’s just I’ve really never had a healthy relationship before to be honest I’m a little scared.” 

“Well it’s the same for me Five but we will figure this out together.” “Can I kiss you again?” I grip him by the tie and pull him down into another kiss. And I can’t help but think all this happened because of coffee and sarcasm.

To me, that's how you do a romance. Hope you guys enjoyed it.

[callsign-rogueone]

study season

fourth wing characters (Aaric, Bodhi, Brennan, Dain, Garrick, Imogen, Liam, Mira, Rhiannon, Ridoc, Sawyer, Sloane, Violet, and Xaden) x reader the ways our faves help you study for exams. words: ~900 🏷: no book spoilers, no triggers. gender neutral. and I included the girls this time!! some of these can be read as platonic and others mention kisses / cuddles, implying you’re a couple. idk, I just work here. I’m really liking this format lately, and it’s (fairly) quick and easy so you can expect more of these in the future while I procrastinate all the girlfriendverse chapters and smut I have to write lol

First, the more studious of the bunch:

Brennan is all-in, no hesitation, pulling up a chair next to you and learning this with you for moral support, but also for fun (can you believe this guy?) though you suppose it’s easier to enjoy this if it doesn’t count for a grade. Either way, he’s a very nice study partner, and he encourages you to take breaks every hour / chapter / etc. Brings snacks, too.

Violet somehow already knows all of the material, and explains it better than the textbook or the professor. Walks things back if you don’t get it and gets into the why and how, which so many teachers skip over, even though it helps explain the what (pet peeve of mine showing here lol). 

Aaric’s study skills are unmatched -- years of the best private tutors money can buy really paid off. Teaches you new strategies that you’ve never heard of in your life, and when you ask, he admits a bit shyly that he came up with it himself, but it works, and you get it done in half the time you would have before. (work smarter, not harder, baby)

Rhiannon gives you the pep talk of your life (we all need a Rhiannon in our lives) and convinces you that you’ve got this. Packs you a little snack for the day of your exam with a little note reminding you that you know this, just breathe and think. 

Xaden sees you struggling and forces you to take a break. During said break, he’s reading the book himself and figuring out what exactly has you so stressed and exhausted. Breaks down the tasks into smaller, more manageable steps and guides you through it -- “find three reasons why XYZ happened.” done with that? “Now make them into paragraphs.” etc etc, and an hour later, you have a passable essay. 

Dain is taking this more seriously than you are, and his discipline is like no other; you’re not stopping until the work is done, or until midnight, whichever comes first (because sleep is important for the brain, or whatever. Definitely not just because he misses you and wants to cuddle). 

Garrick may have no idea what you’re talking about, but he suffers through it with you, offering to let you explain things to him, because teaching is a good way to test if you understand something. Though you get what you pay for -- he’s a total smartass about it, asking questions about the littlest details even if they’re common knowledge -- he’s gotta be thorough, right? 

Ridoc may be the class clown type, but he’s smarter than a lot of people think. He comes up with a bunch of jokes that actually help you remember things. Somehow manages to relate the most complex topic in your book to a sandwich, and it actually works. He’s incredibly smug about this for the rest of the week, especially when you get the highest score in the class (he’ll take payment in kisses, thank you.)

Bodhi makes flashcards with you, quizzing you and giving you a kiss if you get it right (this definitely is not a distraction, and things definitely don’t escalate from here, nope.) He’s also really good at proofreading essays, and gives excellent feedback regarding the structure and the order of the information.

Liam sits there with you all the while, completely silent, working on one of his wood carvings at the other end of the table, but you know he’s there and he’s watching -- and that provides a healthy amount of peer pressure and keeps you on task. He’s an incredibly observant person, and he can see the stress building; he knows when to intervene and suggest that you take a break.

Sloane is the best person to commiserate with. She doesn’t want to be doing this either, but she’s also incredibly stubborn, and she doesn’t give up; after a healthy amount of complaining, she’s forcing you both to keep trying until it works / until it’s done, and then you’re treating yourselves to something for getting it over with, because you deserve it.

Sawyer is gentle and supportive, having a heart-to-heart conversation with you and reminding you that yes, this is important, but the world will not stop turning if you fail one exam. He knows how it feels to be compared to his peers, especially in how long it takes you to accomplish something (poor bb) and doesn’t want you stressing yourself out about that, either. 

Imogen is the opposite, all tough love, giving you gentle but firm reminders: “you didn’t make it this far just to give up,”, “I know you can do this, so do it,” but she balances it out with tender affirmation when you’re done. She’ll even let you skip out on training for the day since you’ve been studying so hard (and she takes training seriously, so this is more of a reward than it seems). 

Mira’s default approach is similar to Imogen’s, but she can see that you’re reaching your limit and dials it back, being more gentle with you and doing whatever you need -- encouragement? someone to just sit there? help / explanation / etc? she’s got you covered. herds you into bed at a reasonable hour so you’ll be well rested for the classes and exams.

And all of them are incredibly proud of you for working so hard and getting good grades 🤍

[dracoxsworld]

Reunited. - Harry Potter x Reader

Warnings: Oral both f and m receiving, teasing, dom harry, p in v etc.

a/n: Of COURSE I had to write about my boy harry again.

EDIT: Typos :/

3 months.

It has been 3 months since you’ve seen Harry. You couldn’t even write to each other because of his muggle family being extremely against anything to do with your world, but none of that matters now. You arrive to the Weasley’s burrow, with your trunks and suitcases full of school supplies, robes and clothes for your upcoming school year at Hogwarts.

“Y/N? Is that you?” A girl with bushy brown hair asks, coming out of the burrow. “Hermione!” You exclaim, dropping your luggage and running into her arms. You both squeal in your hug.

“How’ve you been? How was your summer?” You friend asks as you both walk back to your luggage you had left. “It was great! Mum and dad were of course, busy all the time. So I had a lot of me time. How was yours?” You asked.

“It was fun, I got to study for our O.W.L.S all summer! I should’ve started before our last year ended, though.” Hermione chuckles nervously.

“Hermione, we don’t take out OWLs until the end of the year,” You said. “Yes, but this is the most important test we will ever take! I have to study, if I don’t study, I’ll fail, if I fail, I won’t graduate. If I don’t graduate I won’t-“ “Hermione!” You interrupt her, turning towards you, dropping your bags once again to put your hands on her shoulders. “You are the smartest witch I know. You will probably get the highest grade,” Hermione takes a big deep breath of relief, ending with a smile. “Thanks y/n.”

You and Hermione enter the burrow, Mrs.Weasley sees you immediately and gasps. “Miss. l/n!” She runs to you immediately just like you ran to Hermione, and pulls you into a tight hug. You talked about your summer with Mrs.Weasley while greeting the other Weasley family members. Ron comes up to you and ruffled your hair before pulling you into a tight hug. “What do you reckon we okay a quick game of quidditch while you’re here? I’ve been getting better.” Ron says during the hug

“Ron, I told you to start studying for your O.W.L’s!” Hermione exclaims disapprovingly. “Relax, ‘mione. I’ve got loads of time, I haven’t seen y/n for months!” Ron says, wrapping his arm around her, she gives him another disapproving look but dropped the subject, her frown turning into a smile.

“So where’s Harry?” You ask anxiously. “He’s not here yet, dear. I believe he’s going to be here any minute.” Mrs. Weasley says, putting a roast in the oven with a flick of her wand. As if you summoned him simply by saying his name, you guys here a CRACK outside the front door. You all pile towards the door, looking out the window. There you see the boy who lived, with his black messy hair, round glasses, and green eyes. Despite a group of people looking at him for his arrival, his eye’s immediately land on you; he smiles, ear to ear, through the window.

“Open the bloody door, Ron!” Hermione exclaims, motioning towards you. “Alright alright!” Ron buffs. Ron opens the door and Mrs.Weasley squeals as she engulfs Harry in her arms. “Oh my boy!” She exclaims swinging Harry back and forth. “It’s always good to see you Mrs.Weasley” Harry says with a strained voice, as he’s being squeezed in the hug.

“It’s like we’re not even here.” Ron jokes, nudging George. “We’re not the chosen one, mate.” George respond, laughing softly.

Each person takes turns greeting Harry, leaving you for last. He finally turns to you after shaking Fred’s hand, his eyes instantly brighten up, and a bigger smile grows on his face. He wraps his arms around your waist and lifts you up. He plants kisses all over your cheek. You giggle from it tickling, and he lets you down. “Hi,” you say simply. “I’ve missed you.” You added. “I’ve missed you too, you have no idea.” Harry responds. He ticks your hair behind your ear and kisses your cheek, whispering “I’ll show you how much I’ve missed you later.” Causing your cheeks to quickly turn into a rose color. Luckily, Harry seemed to be the only one to notice.

The rest of the night consisted of catching up, each of you talking about your summer, Harry’s being quick and simple of which him saying “Just waited on when it would end.”

Hermione went on another O.W.L’s tangent. After her vent, everyone head off for bed. You made your way to Ginny’s room, where you had set your luggage, until you felt a hand on your arm, you turn around to see Harry. He put a finger up to his lips, and you nodded, his hand slid into yours, guiding you into the guest bedroom the Weasley’s had set up for Harry. He led you into his room.

Once you both had entered, he placed his hand on the door behind you, and pushed it shut. He stood in front of you, stretching his arm with the palm of his hand still against the door. His green eyes looked down on you, scanning your body. You felt your cheeks go hot instantly.

“I have missed you. So much.” Harry begins. He leaned down to the crook of your neck, softly kissing you, up your neck to behind your ear. “God Harry, I- I missed you too.” you whine. Goosebumps form on your arm making the hair stand up. Your hand reached to the back of his head, gripping his hair, causing him to grunt in your ear. “Already moaning for me, baby?” His hand leaves the door and lands on your waist.

“On the bed, baby.” he says into your ear, slightly pulling you away from the door, before pushing you lightly towards the bed.

You sit in the bed and lean back, holding yourself up on your elbows. Harry steps between your legs, hanging off of the twin sized bed. He gets on the bed to where he’s above you, leans down to kiss you. It starts out slow, and soft. “God Harry, I’ve missed you.” You mumble in the kiss. “What’ve ‘ye missed ‘bout me?” Harry mumbles back, between kisses. “Everything. Your hands,” You begin to list things off you missed about him. All the things you’ve longed for the past 3 months. You stop the kiss and grab his hand.

“Your lips,” you continue, grabbing the collar of his shirt to pull him down to kiss you again.

“God; your hair.” You whine, running your hands through his messy hair, even messier from your hands gripping it just a few moments ago. Harry stares at you with eyes full of hunger. He picks up his wand that was in the bedside table. (That was really an old box) “Muffliato.” he said quietly; keeping his eye contact on you. You loved that spell, mostly because you knew what was going to happen after it was cast.

Harry immediately leans down, attacking you neck with bites, and kisses. His hands fly down to the hem of your shirt, raising it up, and quickly breaking the contact of his lips from your neck to pull the shirt over your head.

To his surprise, you prepared for this, wearing a dark red lace bra. “Oh my fucking god, y/n.” Harry groaned out. You smile up at him, blushing again. “You’re so fucking beautiful. Holy fuck.” Harry stammers out, running his hands up your stomach to your chest, squeezing your tits, one in each hand. You moan at the feeling. He leans down again, this time his attack aimed at your lips. Your hands sneak down from his hair to the button of his jeans, unbuttoning it. “Oh ‘yer excited?” Harry says, again between hungry kisses. “Harry please-“ you whine.

“Be patient, baby. You’ve waited 3 months and have done great so far.” Harry coos. “But go ahead.” he added, sitting back up straight, letting you continue to take off his pants, seeing his hard cock in his boxers. He pulls down yours, revealing your matching panties to your bra. “You’re kidding, so filthy.” Harry scoffs, practically ripping the remaining little clothing you had on your body off.

You tried to reach your hands to the hem of his boxers, but he quickly grabbed your wrist and shook his head. “Be a good girl, and wait.” Harry scolds you. You pout your bottom lip. Harry’s fingers run down to your lower stomach, causing goosebumps to once again appear on your arms. Your pussy was already so wet from him just kissing you, his fingers lightly touch you and you whine.

“So wet for me baby, god you’re perfect.” Harry says, looking down at your sex on his fingers, glistening in the light. You watch as Harry lean down inbetween your legs. You buck your hips up towards his face, wanting him now. “Baby; you have to be patient. Be a good girl, or I’ll have to stop.” You moan in response, trying you best to keep your hips still now. After a moment; Harry leans back down, and you feel his tongue in-between your folds, slowly licking up your liquids. Your hands tug at his hair.

Harry hums as he licks you up, causing vibration against your heat, warning another moan from you. “Harry!” You yell, slapping your hand to your mouth not wanting to wake anyone. Harry immediately stops and looks up at you. “No one other than me is going to here you, Angel. Scream my name.” Harry demands, going back down on you, now using you like a toy on his tongue, pumping it in and out of you, while licking your clit every now and then.

Your moans grow louder. “Harry! Please.” you beg. “Pleas what princess?” Harry asks, still down by your heat, kitten licks on your clit. “Let me cum, please Harry. Let me make a mess, please.” You cry, tears forming in your eyes from your desperation of pleasure.

“As you wish.” He smirks, finally giving you the pressure and pace you needed. You finally release, you feel your hot juices leave your used and sensitive hole, you feel your thighs squeezing his head. His hands can wrap around your thighs, squeezing them as he licks up your cum. You squirm from you being sensitive, but still love the feeling. You quickly sit up, hands rushing to the hem of his boxers. “Can’t even wait for me, baby.” Harry chuckles down at you, pulling down his boxers.

His cock sprang free, leaking with precum. You wrap your hand around, slowly stroking your hand up an down his cock, your thumb running over his slit, covered with precum. He groans in response. You quickly switched, now he was sitting on the bed, you were on your knees in front of him. You quickly took his cock into your mouth, using your hand to steady it. Your tongue lapped over his tip, earning a groan from him. “God. Your mouth is so fucking perfect.” You suck up and down his cock, hearing him groan and moan your name.

You bob your head up and down faster and faster, eyes shut tightly to focus on not gagging, as you can feel his dick hit the back of your throat, leaving precum dripping down as a treat.

“Eyes on me.” Harry demanded, yanking your attention up by pulling your hair. You moan in response.

“Fuck baby. You’re so good to me. God I have fucking missed you. You’re so perfect for me.” Harry moans out. You yourself moan at his words. His dick twitches in your mouth. It’s red, angry, and full. Your eyes innocently look up at him, humming as you suck his dick. With a few more licks across his tip, and a few more hums from you, he spills into your mouth, some landing on your chest, to which he yells out your name. Your tongue catches some of his cum, swallowing it like the angel you are.

“Fuck. Baby, come here.” Harry says, motioning his hand to come up on his lap. You oblige happily, straddling yourself above him. Harry handles his dick underneath you, and grabs your hips, lowering you down on his cock. Harry continues to groan out, as you moan his name. You slowly bounce up and down in his dick, your tits moving up and down as you do so.

“Harry, fuck.” you moan, but don’t stop. “You’re so tight, y/n. Such a perfect angel for me. So wet.” He groans. “You’re mine. Do you fucking understand?” Harry says, his hands slapping your ass as you continue to bounce on his cock. “y-yes harry, all yours.” You respond, seeing his green eyes go almost black, full of lust. “That’s right. Keep your eyes on me.” Harry demands. “My fucking slut. Does my slut want me to cum inside you?” Harry asks in a raspy voice, hands on your hips slamming you down on his cock. “P-lease cum inside me..” You beg, feeling the knot in your stomach grow. “That’s it. Take it angel. Take it.” Harry groans. He finally releases inside of you, and you release on his cock, both of you moaning the loudest this time, each others names. “Fuck y/n.” Harry moans, pulling you off his cock, covered in a mixture of both of your cum. “I’ve really missed you.” You say, looking down at the mess you’ve both made, then innocently looking down at him. “Round two tomorrow morning, before we leave for school?” harry asks, reaching over for a tissue to wipe off his release still on your tits. “sounds like a plan.” you agree, blushing harder.

[crabdrabbles]

Hiii Crab so happy to see you write outside of our rants/idea chats and my fellow delulu cod enjoyer! Would love to request Platonic!141 + Reader (sorry if this is long and somewhat confusing lol). You can do headcanons, drabble or whatever you comfy for. An idea that popped in my head kinda semi personal: Civ or 141! Reader though has parents and family is the reader is quite something else. Reader despite having somewhat normal upbringing still feel empty; they shouldn't be feeling this numb and empty deep inside of them. The reader craves the love that they give but couldn't or lack of receiving it back, though they don’t expect it or selfishly want it. Just someone who understands them even in their deepest darkest secret or flaw then boom cue the task force 141 unexpected yet welcoming to their life and maybe the one that the Reader can lean and let them be vulnerable on (finally).  

Take your time on doing this Looking for to your other writing genuinely -Cee, your fellow Soap delulu

GN!Reader & 141 (Mostly Price)

Warnings: Slight angst Ships: None. A/N: This absolutely ran away from me and I do not at all regret it, hope you enjoy, Cee!!! Words: 3549

Almost your entire life had been a cycle of self doubt that also started to churn and twist into self-hatred. You blamed yourself for the feelings. Afterall, you had a relatively normal upbringing. Two parents who were both present in your life, both of whom worked so that you all had food on the table and a roof over your head. A luxury that very few had.

The least you could do for them is follow the path that they wanted to put you on, no matter how much you didn’t want to do it. Because you loved them. 

So you excelled in your education, studying hard to try and impress your parents– to make them love you just as much as you loved them for everything that they did for you for your entire life. They wanted you to do all three sciences despite the additional workload it would add to your already stretched thin time? Then you would do them, take any extra classes after school in order to keep up with the work and not lag behind any of your peers. 

There was no such thing as a social life, either, not when you had homework and projects due. Friends were few and far between. Generally, most people left when they realised how hyper focused you were on your grades instead of social interaction. 

Did a classmate get a higher grade than you on a test? Well obviously you didn’t study hard enough, you just needed to dedicate more time to school even though school was all you had.

Did you get the highest marks in the class? Good, that was what was expected of you. Why didn’t you get full marks? You were better than that. You would do better because you loved your family. They showed it in their own way, of course, by encouraging you to study harder and get better grades. That was their love language, and yours was doing as they asked without a second thought. Because, at the end of the day, you were lucky to have an upbringing like you had. You would ignore the hollow void clawing at your chest because you had no right to feel that way– not when you had a roof over your head and parents that loved you(?).

It was when you came top of the class with full marks in a recent test, you came home with a beaming smile on your face and proudly showed the test to your parents. They took the papers from your hands, flipping through your work with critical eyes, before handing the papers back to you. 

‘Well done, we’re so proud of you.’ That was all you wanted them to say to you. That was all you needed to hear. To know that they loved you. 

‘Your penmanship is terrible.’ Was what you got instead. When you tried to point at the big 100% in green pen, you were waved away. ‘How are you expected to get a job when you write like a child? I’m surprised the teacher could even read your answers’. 

After several years of balancing a work and educational life and paving a way for a line of work that you didn’t want for parents you should have been grateful to have, you decided that enough was enough. 

No matter how hard you worked, no matter how high your marks were, they would never be proud of you. They would never return the love that you had for them until you nearly killed yourself trying. 

Spending your entire childhood, teenagehood and all of your current adulthood trying to please your parents predictably would damage one’s psyche. You had no friends, family who had never been devoted to you as you were to them, and high grades serving as the foundations to a prison-like future.

You dropped out of University. The only option forward that you saw was joining the army in the vain hope that the empty feeling inside of you would dissipate when you actually did something that you believed was more worthwhile than any University course. 

So you threw yourself into the military, working harder than all of the other recruits and training at every chance you could.

Your skills and determination became widely recognised amongst your peers. It took several years, but you eventually caught the eye of none other than Captain John Price. 

Impressed by your willpower that not many soldiers possessed, he offered you a place on the 141. 

Naturally, you agreed. You believed that being part of such a well renowned and respected team would finally beat back the lingering self doubt and emptiness that had curled itself around your heart.

It didn’t. If anything, it made it worse.

You were invited to join the 141, sure, but they had already established their own relationships between each other, had already bonded into a close knit group, and you were simply an outsider. Yes, you had been hand picked by Price himself, but that didn’t mean you were part of the team. They had their own inside jokes that they told to one another, leaving you feeling left out on most days.

And you felt… lacking around them. Ghost was stronger, Gaz was faster, Soap was smarter (he was a demolitions expert for crying out loud!), and Price was almost all of those rolled into one. They all complimented each other as a team. Meanwhile you felt like a spare tyre, a master of nothing and barely a jack of any trade. 

Despite how you felt about it all, they all called you ‘kid’. Regardless of age gaps between yourself and the rest of them, the nickname stuck mostly because you were the newbie. It came as a surprise that it wasn’t spat with vitriol as your peers before had, but it was in fact said with… an affection you couldn’t quite place.

You couldn’t ignore the hole in your chest that had been chipped at over the years, forming a gaping maw that no reassurances could really mend. 

Doubt lingered in the back of your mind, chipping away at your sanity as you prepared for the worst. How long would it take before they realised you weren’t good enough? 

You were so deep in your doubts that you didn’t realise that you had been distancing yourself even more than before until you overheard a conversation in Price’s office a few months down the line.

“-- they don’t belong on the team.” Gaz said as you passed Price’s office and your heart dropped. It was only the tailend of what he had been saying but you had gotten the gist. You wanted to stay, to listen to the conversation more and listen to what your team had to say about you, but you didn’t. What you were going to hear were likely things you had already told yourself right from the start. You keep walking on, ignoring the sting of tears burning in the corners of your eyes. The blood rushing in your ears prevented you from heating the rest of the conversation. 

“-- not only are they acting like they don’t belong on the team, but they’re acting like they’re not good enough.” Gaz continued, sighing in frustration.

“Maybe they need more time.” Ghost rumbled in reply, “Let them come out of their shell a little bit. Best not rush these things.” He was talking from experience, after all.

“Aye… maybe I can invite them out for drinks or sommat? I wouldn’t want them getting transferred before we got to know them a little more.” Soap had been the one that had tried the hardest to get close to you but had also tried to give you space so as to not suffocate you with his personality. 

“They won’t be getting transferred.” Price said with conviction, tapping his desk, “I chose them to be part of this team and this is where they’re going to stay. Let me have a word with them first.”

“Aye, sir.”

— — — — — —

You found yourself in the smoker’s shelter outside the main building. It was late enough that most of the soldiers had gone to bed or off to do their own things elsewhere so you doubted that you would be bothered for a little while. Just enough time for you to get your thoughts together. Your tears had dried in your eyes a few minutes ago, making them sting in the cold air. You didn’t need to look in your reflection to know that you probably looked like a wreck– entirely unbecoming of a soldier of your apparent status. 

You didn’t want to get transferred. Despite your distance with the 141, you didn’t hate them. Far from, actually, you held a great deal of respect for each and every one of them. It was just that you felt like you didn’t have your place amongst them. Not good enough to be associated with them. 

“Bit late to be out here in the cold, chuck.” A voice startled you out of your thoughts– one that you would recognise anywhere from the low rasp of a smoker's lungs. 

“Captain.” You croaked, wincing at the patheticness in your voice. There was a scuff of boots as Price came closer, leaning into your line of vision with a furrowed brow which only furrowed more as he took in your dishevelled appearance.

“Something on your mind?” He asked kindly, perching on the arm of the bench to give you some personal space. He left his question open, allowing you any chance to steer the conversation how you wanted to. There was no judgement for catching you at your lowest, no disgust at your red rimmed eyes— just polite understanding and a non verbal offer of pleasant company. 

“Why did you pick me, Captain?”

The question made him tilt his head, a frown beginning to tug on his features. You were worried you had insulted him.

“What brought this on, huh? Someone say something to you? Need me to have a word with them?” He straightened his back, scowling. Whilst you felt like you didn’t have a place in the 141, you could never deny the shield of protectiveness that Price held over his team. You remember in the back of your mind the day that some General who thought he was hot shit had the audacity to undermine Soap as nothing more than a ‘yappy dog’ when offered the Scot’s demolitions expertise. Price had appeared almost out of thin air and almost ripped the General a new one and things would have escalated into a fist fight had Laswell not intervened. It wasn’t as though Price didn’t think his own soldiers were capable of defending themselves, but he couldn’t care less about punishments aimed his own way over that of his Sergeants and Lieutenant. It was just a surprise that the protective streak extended over you, too, despite your distance to your teammates.

“I’ll sound stupid.” You mumbled, looking down at the ground as if expecting him to chastise you like a child. He didn’t.

“I’ve had my fair share of stupid over the years. Try me.”

“... and ungrateful.”

“I once had a guy punch me in the face two seconds after I took a bullet that would have killed him.” Price countered with a cut off chuckle once he remembered what was probably a mission long finished and cleared his throat. “C’mon, tell Captain what’s on your mind.”

And he sounded so sincere when he said it. Sounded like he genuinely wanted to hear what was going on in your head– that he was willing to waste what was already his important and limited time on someone like you. 

“Sir—”

“John.” Price corrected gently, crows feet more noticeable at the corners of his eyes scrunched up when he smiled, “We’re off duty, you don’t need to be so formal.”

“... John.” You echoed, finding that you really didn’t like saying that. It felt like calling your teacher by their first name in primary school or a classmate’s parent other than their last name. 

“Now, c’mon, tell me what’s on your mind. Might not be a therapist, but I’m better than bottling it up.” You wondered in the back of your mind how often Price did this. Sat with his soldiers and talked with them, offered them a listening ear to hear their vents and fears. You couldn’t help but feel honoured to be one of the few he willingly offered said time to. Your silence stretched on as you thought of the words to say, how to phrase what you wanted to say without sounding unappreciative of the opportunity that Price had offered you when he requested you join his team. 

“I don’t feel like I belong here.” You blurted once the silence had stretched on for long enough to border on uncomfortable. John’s face fell and you quickly realised how bad that sounded and rushed to correct yourself.

“No, no, wait, let me explain–” the Captain closed his mouth to allow you to continue speaking, but you could tell that it was hard for him. “I just… you could have anyone better than me, you know? I’m not a demolition expert. I’m… I’m not the best Sniper. I’m the slowest on the team, pretty sure I’m the weakest–”

“Nope.” Price interrupted, finally breaking the bubble of your personal space as he took a proper seat next to you on the bench but still respecting the distance enough to keep a few inches between you. “Nope, not lettin’ you say another word.”

“But–” 

“Nope.”

“Cap–”

“No.”

“But you could have anyone better—“

“But they wouldn’t be you.” He deflected easily. Far too easily. He leant back on the bench, crossing one leg over the other as he folded his arms over his chest. His fingers twitched and you could tell he was itching for a cigar but didn’t light one out of respect. 

“Alright, sure, I can ask Laswell to give me one of the best soldiers in the SAS and have them brought here tomorrow. They could be the best of the best, top of their class, better than you and maybe even better than me. But that’s a bit of a stretch.” He winked and earned a weak chuckle from you. “But they won’t be you. I don’t pick just on skill alone, kid, I pick based on how I feel people would fit into the team. I chose you because I knew that you’d be perfect.”

“As for not being a demolitions expert, let  me let you in on a little secret. I’ve no fucking clue about demolitions, either. And you don’t have to be on the team to be the ‘best Sniper’. You’re better than most, and that’s what’s important. As for being the weakest– did you or did you not bodily lift Gaz in a fireman’s carry during training the other week while he was trying to act as an injured civilian? Quite dramatically, might I add. Swooned and everything.”

You remembered that practice mission. Quite fondly, actually. Gaz was a civilian and , after being struck by a foam bullet from Soap, had dramatically screamed in agony and crumpled to the floor. When you had lifted him up and over your shoulders, the bastard continued to wail something along the lines of telling his non-existent spouse that he loved them and that his money be given to his equally non-existent children. Soap got in another shot to the man’s head, knocking off his cap in the process. Distracted as you were trying to haul your teammate out of the danger zone, you couldn’t help but laugh thinking about it now. 

“Last time I checked, Gaz is somewhat heavier than a sack of flour. Don’t tell him I said that, I’ll hurt his feelings.” Price was right, you supposed. You were more than capable of carrying Gaz over your shoulders, maybe even Soap or Price himself if the time called for it. Ghost you weren’t so sure about, though. The man was a walking mountain. 

“What I’m trying to say is that you have to give yourself more credit. You’re more than good enough to be on my team. I chose you for a reason.”

You… did not expect that sort of reassurance from Price. You had hoped for something along those lines, yes, but perhaps with a thrown in criticism or three. You waited for a ‘but’ that never came. The man snorted beside you and when you gave him a quizzical look, he waved off your concern.

“Shit, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think the next thing out of your mouth would be that your parents never hugged you as a kid.”

Your silence made him slowly turn his head towards you. It would have almost been comical if the situation wasn’t. His face crumbled and a wounded sound emerged from his throat.

“Sometimes they did!” You rushed to defend the people that raised you. “And they gave me food and shelter, clothes when I needed them–”

“Fucking hell. No, that’s what they’re supposed to do because they’re your parents. What about telling you that they were proud of you? That they loved you? I saw your records. Top of your class in not just your training but in your education, too. Triple sciences, mathematics, all of it. They had to be proud of you for that? My parents would have killed for me to get even a passing grade in my GCSEs.” You looked down at the ground and it was Price’s turn to have his eyes fixed on you. 

“They were proud of you, weren’t they?” He asked again, leaning forwards so he could catch your eye, his own filled with concern. “Kid?”

“I don’t talk to them much anymore.” 

Price inhaled sharply and he leaned back again, looking around and clenching his jaw as if fighting back his anger. His fingers twitched again. You admired his self control as he was still yet to grab a cigar that you knew he kept on his person. Usually in his breast pocket while his lighter was in his right pocket.

“Listen to me.” The Captain said, a more stern edge to his voice now that he had gathered his thoughts together. “Whatever your family said to you— how they treated you? Forget it. They showed you obligation. Not love. They didn’t want what was ‘best’ for you, they wanted bragging rights. What you’ve achieved– here, in bootcamp, in university and in school, is something to take pride in– no, no, look at me.”

Your gaze had trailed to the side so you avoided looking at your Captain in the eyes. He noticed and clicked his fingers to gain your attention back on him.

“Don’t look away from me because I want you to listen to what I’m gonna say and I want you to look at my face as I say it.” Your eyes met his blue ones, “You should be proud of everything that you’ve achieved in your life. I’m sorry that your family never told you that and I’m sorry that I haven’t said that enough to you since you joined 141.”

You opened your mouth to say something– to argue or disagree but he shook his head.

“No. It’s my turn to speak now. I’m proud of you. I am so proud of you. Everything you’ve done and everything that you’re yet to do, I will always be proud of you. You’re an exemplary soldier and I knew the moment I saw you that you would be a perfect addition to the 141 and you have proved me right time and time again. You belong on this team just as much as the rest of the boys. Do you understand?”

So many words– proud, proud, proud. That’s all you had wanted to hear for so many years from someone whose opinion mattered to you. You wanted to be seen and Price, this godsend of a man, had seen you and more.

“Kid, do you understand me?”

You nodded once and then realised that Price wouldn’t have been able to tell through your shaking. Tears blurred in the corners of your eyes and you nodded again, not trusting your voice in case it shattered. 

“What do you need from me?” Price’s voice was oh so soft, like he was talking to a frightened fawn. He could see how much his words had affected you and it clearly broke his own heart.

“A hug.” Your bottom lip wobbled and his face softened as he opened his arms, twitching his fingers to urge you closer.

“I can do that.” 

You leaned into him and he quickly wrapped his arms around you, drawing you in close. You could smell the lingering scent of his last cigar. The smell of his office and cleaning oil. You felt his chin on the top of your head and felt how his chest rumbled as he spoke.

“You’re part of the 141 whether you like it or not, alright? Me and the boys want you here for as long as you want to be.”

At that moment, for the first time in your life. You felt wanted. You felt appreciated and you felt seen.

have a request? send one in!

[222low]

hi pooks i miss your writing :(

d’you think you could do an enemies to lovers sort of fic w yangyang/winwin/mark/haechan/jaehyun? take your pick!!

enemies to lovers yangyang ✧₊⁺

you thought you both hated each other, but you soon figure out that wasn't the case at all.

content: academic rivals, fluff, teasing, suggestive (?), kind of just little scenarios not a whole fic #lazy..hopefully i did yy well i love him sm

you'd known yangyang since you two were little, and this rivalry had been going on since you two both scored the highest on your 2nd grade test.

he'd always been a cocky guy, teasing you if he ever got the higher test score, raising his hand before you, making sure he got the best seat in the classroom

you were both all grown up now, obviously, but you would have not expected to see him when you walked into your lecture.

throughout high school, you would see him grow up...but something about how he looked now, more mature, had you staring longer than usual.

you sat down in the same row as him, but not too close, as he grinned at you. you hated that grin.

it wasn't until you guys were paired together for a project that you knew you were fucked.

it's not like you didn't know who yangyang was. not that you weren't comfortable working with him, it just wasn't idealistic.

you sucked it up anyways.

this didn't go as planned. you guys disagreed on every little thing. you couldn't even get past if you were gonna use a poster or an online slideshow when presenting.

you guys decided on an poster (of course, you got what you wanted) and made plans to meet in the schools library twice a week.

plenty of time to get it done, right? wrong. you guys bickered the whole time..only to realize you looked stupid in this library, arguing about a simple project.

maybe it was because you two were so used to going against each other, your routes of doing work clashed, but you tried to make it work for the sake of both of your grades.

amp-ing up the time to 3 times a week..the final stretch of the project, you realized hanging out with yangyang wasn't too bad.

he would always crack jokes...the stupidest jokes, but you had to laugh. it was kinda cute of him.

i guess you were staring, because all of a sudden the laughing stopped and he had been looking at you, confused.

you brushed it off quickly before getting back to work, a light pink hue dusting his cheeks.

you realize that even though you two have very different work ethics, you can see why he's at the top of his class.

yangyang had complimented how you weren't all too bad, and working with you was bearable...couldn't use any other word??

you couldn't deny it though, it was pretty interesting hanging out with yangyang. you guys had caught up on highschool..since you weren't too close.

he told you about all of his friends and how they had started a band, and you thought to yourself, maybe yangyang wasn't this evil rival you've been going at for the last 10 years about whos grade was the best.

after one of your study sessions, yangyang had asked you if you wanted to grab lunch. this is the first of many lunches you guys had went out to.

trying out different places in the area was fun for the two of you now. the project had been due already (and of course you both passed with flying colors), but for some reason you two had still been hanging out, if not three at least two times a week.

it wasn't until yangyang became a little bit flirty with you, complimenting your outfits more, making sure to pay for your meals, etc. that you had started to feel a certain type of way.

you really thought long and hard about these feeling for him. did you really feel like this? maybe it was just because you were forced to hang out with each other...but why'd you keep going? he did get more mature..taller..handsome. and he could be sweet sometimes.

you had a crush on yangyang.

something you never thought you'd say. or even think.

little did you know, he was gonna ask you on a date. of course, these lunch dates we're "dates", but neither of you established that. oh to be young, dumb, and in love.

he was always a confident guy, but somehow he was super nervous to ask you out. what if you were just going because you felt bad for him? or because you both did the project together, now you were obligated?

but he knew deep down you enjoyed his company. enjoyed being with him.

he asked you if you'd like to go to dinner with him. on an actual date, not just these lunch get togethers.

holding his breath waiting for your response, he was beyond relieved when you said yes, smiling from ear to ear.

you blushed. you really liked that smile.

you still remember that first date. he picked you up, complimented your beautiful outfit. couldn't keep his eyes off of you, even on the way there. you had to remind him to make sure he was driving.

he held doors open for you, paid for your meal, bought you a drink. (what a gentleman!)

this was just the beginning of many dinner dates, and of course, where it all started, lunch ones.

now, your boyfriend yangyang surprises you with your favorite snacks at your library study sessions.

you boyfriend yangyang that saves you a seat next to him in all of your lectures.

your boyfriend yangyang that now invites you over when your study sessions are at night, insisting that you cuddle and watch a movie together to decompress.

your boyfriend yangyang you gives you butterflies in your stomach every time he kisses you. whether it's on the cheek before you walk into class, or when you guys get a little bit side-tracked alone during a movie on his couch.

your boyfriend yangyang who knows you're a little stressed about the upcoming test, so he draws little doodles on sticky notes and puts them on your notebook everyday, being your number one cheerleader.

your boyfriend yangyang who still teases you when he gets a higher score than you, out of love, of course.

a/n: REQS OPEN! thank u for the req anonnnn !! jas active era?? maybe...but i was excited to write this one. can you tell i love yangyang? got a little carried away...hopefully it's up to par with what you were expecting..im honestly not great at sitting down and writing full stories, so im hoping this worked out alright :3 i especially enjoyed writing the last part. i do wanna get to writing solo work for other members too..but im going thru a yangyang brainrot and have to feed into it..but who's complainin!!! hope u all enjoyed reading <3

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 25

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words: 5k

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Friday, December 18; 11:00 AM - School.

The bell rings, signaling the end of classes. I finally leave the classroom, leaving behind my last lessons of the year. They were certainly the longest I’ve ever endured since my last exam. I’ve never been so excited to get out of here. My things were already packed even before the final announcement. I run out without waiting for Alexia, who’s desperately calling after me in the hallway. I manage to avoid the rush and arrive in record time in front of Lucy’s office. I immediately scan the room for her, but she’s nowhere to be seen.

“Where’s Bronze?” I ask, out of breath.

“Hello to you too, Ona,” Engen greets me. “She had to go to administration. She shouldn’t be long.”

“Thanks!” I say as I turn to leave.

“Hey! No running in the halls!” Engen reprimands me.

Her warning doesn’t stop me from continuing my sprint toward the entrance hall. I smile when I see Lucy making her way through the students rushing to leave. I dash towards her, causing her to frown as soon as she sees me. Before she has the chance to scold me, I leap onto her.

“What are you doing, Ona?” she growls sternly.

She tries to shake me off, but I tighten my legs around her waist. I’m too happy to care about the attention we’re drawing.

“I did it, Bronze! I did it!” I shout excitedly.

“What are you talking about?” she grumbles. “Let go of me!”

“It’s thanks to you! I passed almost all my subjects!”

My words stop her in her tracks. She stops struggling and looks me straight in the eyes. Her expression changes dramatically, making me beam with joy. The wait to show her all my makeup test scores that my homeroom teacher gave me during my last class was unbearable. I release my grip on her now that I have her full attention.

“Even though this is good news, never do that again… in public,” she scolds me. “Am I clear?”

“Yeah, yeah,” I reply indifferently.

I rummage through my bag and pull out all my makeup test papers. I put the first one we worked on together at the top—the one with the math equations. My teacher handed it back to me along with the rest since I was sick when it was returned and he forgot to give it to me earlier.

“Here, look.”

She sighs in annoyance and snatches the papers from my hands. She squints as she examines them. Her features soften, and her tense jaw relaxes. She looks back and forth between me and the first paper several times.

“An eighteen!? When did you take this one?”

“It was the first one you helped me study for. The equations, remember?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I got the highest grade,” I say proudly.

She smiles as she flips through the rest. I smile too, noticing that she’s genuinely interested. My grades range between eight and sixteen. They’re nothing like the ones I used to get, which ranged between three and nine. Thanks to her, my averages are going up, maybe even doubling if my last assignments of the week turned out well. It’s a huge leap forward.

“See, I told you there was no reason to worry. You drove yourself crazy for nothing, and you drove me crazy in the process!”

The pressure I had been carrying is released in a nervous chuckle. She surprises me by pulling me into a hug, even though a few students are still passing through the hall. I won’t complain and just let myself enjoy it. All my efforts have finally paid off.

“I’m proud of you.”

I smile against her shoulder, savoring those simple words. It’s hard to remember the last time someone said that to me. The fact that it’s coming from Lucy warms my heart. The emotion and relief are so overwhelming that a few tears escape without me realizing it. I step back to avoid breaking down and quickly wipe my eyes to hide any evidence of recent tears. Unfortunately, it seems she noticed, as she gently wipes the dampness from under my eyes with her thumbs.

“It’s all thanks to you…”

“I didn’t do anything special,” she says with a sincere smile.

“Yes, you did. You helped me, supported me… You’ve been there from the start and never gave up on me.”

“That’s not what you said when you first arrived.”

A throat clearing interrupts our moment, startling us. Our intimate moment could have been witnessed by anyone, but we relax when we see it’s only Engen.

“You’re both so reckless! Doing that in front of everyone! Imagine if Wiegman had seen this scene!”

If Engen weren’t so angry, I’d probably be laughing. It’s the first time I’ve seen her so mad. She’s usually in a teasing mood. Lucy doesn’t seem fazed; in fact, she seems amused by the situation.

“The chances were slim since I just came out of his office. But thanks for being so concerned.”

“Yeah, whatever,” she grumbles.

“Anyway, here, go eat. They’re waiting for you.”

I nod as I put my papers back in my bag. I wish them a good lunch before heading to the cafeteria. As I expected, everyone is already at the table. No one seems bothered by my delay. I’m sure Ale explained why. She knew I wanted to show my grades to Lucy. Anyway, everyone is too preoccupied with their upcoming holiday plans to notice my absence. In a few hours, we’ll all finally be home.

“Did you manage to ask Mapi about New Year’s?” Ale asks me.

“Well, no, I didn’t get the chance. She wasn’t feeling well, so I didn’t have the opportunity. I’ll ask her during the week and let you know.”

“Okay, we’ll go with that. We’ll be in touch anyway, right? Unless you decide to go radio silent for two weeks…”

“That wasn’t my plan,” I reply with a small smile.

“Phew! Because I’d miss you! Well, except maybe your snoring.”

“I don’t snore!” I protest.

“That’s what you say,” she teases.

“It only happened when I was sick because my nose was blocked,” I defend myself. “It doesn’t count.”

“You snore even when you’re not sick. I swear! Where’s Bronze? She’ll confirm it!”

“She wouldn’t know that,” I mutter.

“She watched over you all week. Of course she knows.”

“Ridiculous,” I roll my eyes.

Alexia laughs while I’m clearly annoyed by her claim. There’s no way I snore. Mapi can’t stand snoring. She would’ve said something if I did.

“So, is it true?” Alessia asks.

“Of course not,” I insist. “My ex would’ve kicked me out of bed if it were.”

“Seriously, she would’ve done that?” Alexia giggles. “Oh my God, I really need to meet her!”

“Who are we talking about?” Alessia asks, looking quite curious.

Alexia glances at me, biting her lip. Her slightly too obvious comment didn’t go unnoticed. Surprisingly, I don’t mind. It’s not like most of the people around the table don’t already know about my orientation. Alexia had encouraged me to tell them a while ago, so I did. However, she’s the only one who knows about Mapi.

“Mapi” I say hesitantly.

« Mapi as Mapi your best friend ? » Alessia ask.

I rub my neck, feeling awkward. No matter how many people know, this topic is still uncomfortable for me.

“It’s complicated. The only thing you need to know is that I m lesbian and we used to date but we broke up a long time ago.”

“Sorry,” Alexia grimaces. “It slipped out. I know you don’t like to talk about that. »

“It’s okay,” I say, offering her a reassuring smile.

She seems relieved by my words. Alexia is someone who doesn’t always think before she speaks when she’s excited. I can’t really blame her for being herself.

“You know, there’s no need to feel ashamed,” Alessia tells me. “I know it’s hard to come to terms with it—I’m a lesbian myself—but you get there with time.”

“Everyone is who they are. We don’t accept the same things or have the same background” I say more coldly than I intended.

We maintain eye contact, neither of us backing down. Her reaction slightly irritates me. What does it have to do with her anyway? It’s not like we’re close or she knows me well. She looks away, clearly hurt by my response. The table falls silent. Patri finally breaks the tension with a throat-clearing.

“So, what’s the first thing you’re going to do when you get home?”

Her subtle change of subject successfully shifts the mood. Everyone starts talking about their plans, and the conversation picks up again, excluding me. I hope I made my stance on my orientation clear. The last thing I need is rumors. If that happens, I’m sure the gossip about Lucy and me will only intensify. That would be unfortunate, especially now that she’s just starting to open up to me. My attention is drawn back to the table when I hear them discussing New Year’s again. Thanks to Ale’s comment, everyone now understands that Mapi is my ex. This new information doesn’t seem to have changed their minds about inviting her. If anything, they’re even more eager to meet her now. After that, we finally head back to our rooms. Alexia hasn’t stopped apologizing on the way back. She clearly feels guilty.

“Seriously, I really regret letting that slip.”

“It’s fine, I promise.”

“Why aren’t you mad? I don’t know, say something. You’re worrying me even more!”

“What was said?”

We turn towards the door as Lucy walks in. She looks at us curiously, as if she just realized she interrupted an important conversation.

“That Mapi is my ex. The others didn’t know.”

“Oh. And is that a problem for you?”

“No, but Alexia doesn’t seem to get it. She thinks I’m going to explode at her any second.”

“Wait… What? Bronze knows!? Since when? Don’t tell me she knew before I did!”

“Oh, Ale.”

I roll my eyes in exasperation. This girl never ceases to amaze me with her sudden mood shifts. Lucy, watching this unfold, smiles in amusement, probably noticing my frustration.

“I hope for your sake I knew before her,” she says, barely containing her laughter. “I’d be really offended if I didn’t.”

Lucy exaggerates the gesture, placing her hand over her heart to accompany her words. I respond to her joke with a middle finger. Then, I continue gathering my last belongings into my bag. I barely have time to grab anything before I find myself unceremoniously sprawled on my bed. I try to get up, but she quickly pins me down, leaving me unable to move. I recognize Lucy by her long brown hair tickling the tip of my nose.

"I'm not your friend here, so do that again and you'll regret it," she whispers in my ear. "Did I make myself clear?"

I groan, struggling against her unpleasant hold. All I manage is to tighten her grip on my wrists and legs. Her body traps me completely.

"Did I make myself clear?" she repeats. "You don't get to disrespect me like that."

"I understand. Let me go now," I plead. "I won't do it again."

My plea works. She gets up, releasing me. I stay on the mattress for a moment, regaining my senses with my eyes closed. Damn bad memories. I eventually get up, putting my headphones and phone in my bag. I gather my courage when it's time to face them. I don't even have time to react before Alexia pulls me into a hug.

"You better make sure to come for New Year's."

"I'll keep you posted. Have a good holiday."

"You too, sweetheart."

She kisses my cheek, lingering. I kiss her back before grabbing my luggage and leaving with my supervisor. She's the one taking me to the airport today, so I can't really avoid her right now. I’ve been out of it since we started walking. I haven't even looked at her yet. It's her arm around my shoulders that brings me back to reality.

"Hey. Is everything okay?"

"Hmm."

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying."

"Is it about earlier? You've been acting strange since then."

"No," I mumble.

"Ona," she scolds me.

"Okay, fine. Maybe," I admit.

"Sorry, I had to act. Being here, we're sort of teaching you to enter the working world. If it had been your boss, you would have been fired. I'm not your friend here."

"I know, it's fine. I won't do it again."

"Tell me what's bothering you. Did I cross a line? I know very well that you have a problem with physical contact."

"How—"

"I notice your behaviors," she cuts me off. "I observe you, you know. You hesitated for a long time before letting me help you shower the first time. And you only allow closeness to people you trust or feel close to."

So she's been observing me… She must have noticed it a long time ago. I sigh, shaking my head. She knows I care about her. The only people whose touch I allow here are Alexia and her. It's unsettling to know she knows. She ruffles my hair.

"Sorry. I can't help it," she says with a soft smile.

"It's no problem…," I murmur.

We arrive at her car in silence. She parked it in the same outdoor lot as last time. We load the car, then hit the road. The music breaks the silence that had formed. I hum along to relax the atmosphere, and certainly to relax myself as well. When we arrive at the airport, she takes the time to help me and accompany me to the boarding gate, just like last time. It feels like a new, very pleasant routine is forming.

"Take advantage of the holidays to rest and clear your head. You need it after these last few weeks."

"That was my plan."

"Try not to forget me, either."

"That's not likely," I chuckle.

The intercom, which I now know by heart, calls me to order. I bite my lip as I look at Lucy. I don’t know how to say goodbye. She answers my question by pulling me into a hug.

"I'm going to miss you," I whisper.

"Write to me if you need anything."

"Can I write to you even if I don’t?" I ask, making her laugh.

"Of course. I'll respond as long as you don't overdo it. Send me a message when you arrive."

She surprises me by kissing my forehead. I close my eyes to savor this little moment before reluctantly pulling away from her.

"Have a great holiday."

"Thanks, you too," she replies with a smirk.

I head to the boarding gate. I use the waiting time to pull out my headphones and phone. When I reach the turn, I look back one last time to see if Lucy is still there. Seeing that she is, I give her one final wave before continuing to board the plane. I find the flight attendant I’ve befriended on previous flights. I greet her with a smile before taking my seat. And so it begins—two hours of flight ahead.

Friday, December 18; 11:00 PM - Barcelona Airport

I'm woken up by the young flight attendant who seems to enjoy taking care of me. We chatted a bit during the flight. I learned that her name is Shay. She asked me what I do for a living to be making so many trips back and forth across the continent. I answered that it’s for my studies without elaborating further. She’s really nice. As I exit the plane, I wish her a happy holiday. It's now time to meet Hector and Mapi. I smile when I see them. Mapi jumps into my arms the second she can. I hug her as tightly as I can. I quickly notice that she hasn’t bothered to wear makeup. That’s a sign she’s really not doing well. It’s rare for her not to put make up on. I wrap my arm around her shoulders before moving towards Hector, whom I greet with a big smile.

On the way back, Mapi didn’t want to talk, so I just kept her in my arms. That seemed to suit her. I took advantage of the quiet to notify Alexia and Lucy of my arrival. When we arrive at the house, I relieve Hector of his duties, telling him not to bother with my suitcase. I’ll take care of it myself tomorrow when the time comes. For now, I just want to get to my room as quickly as possible with Mapi. When we get there, I'm surprised but pleased not to see Joan. I would have liked to see him, but at least this way I can take care of my best friend properly. She remains very quiet. She sits on my bed while I find us some t-shirts to use as pajamas in my closet. She changes in the room while I go to the bathroom. I should shower, but I’ve decided to do that in the morning when Mapi will probably still be asleep.

Once ready, I return to the room to find Mapi under the covers. I glance at my phone, where I notice messages, but I decide to ignore them. I’ll respond tomorrow. I lie down next to Mapi, who immediately snuggles into my arms. I gently hold her, stroking her hair. It’s been a long time since we’ve been this close in bed. Lately, Joan was sleeping between us. Lucy was right about my issues with physical contact. The only people I can sleep with since I came back are Joan and Mapi. I’ve never tried with anyone else, but I know I wouldn’t be able to. My thoughts are interrupted by pressure on my lips. In a moment of panic, I push Mapi away to end the kiss.

"S-sorry," she stammers.

"What was that?" I ask, not delicately.

I can’t control my tone, taken aback by the surprise. I calm down when I see tears at the corners of her eyes. She’s so distraught.

« Map—"

"I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to! I just needed comfort. I don’t know what came over me."

"Okay, hey, calm down. It’s not that serious..."

I relax and open my arms for her to come back to me. This time, I think it’s for real. She clings to my t-shirt, soaking it without restraint. I take a deep breath and kiss the top of her head.

"It’s okay, let it all out," I whisper.

I hold her a little tighter as she finally lets her sobs go. It was about time she broke down. I stroke her back to reassure her.

"You’ll find someone else, Maps..."

"You don’t understand! You’re the first person I got serious with. When you left, I knew it would be hard to get into a new relationship."

"Map—"

"No, let me finish," she interrupts. "I trusted her and opened my heart to her again! She knew all about our history without knowing who you were. If she had dumped me for a reason, I would have understood, but no. That bitch couldn’t find anything better to do than cheat on me with your damn ex! I don’t even know who I should be angry with! What did I do to that puta to ruin all my relationships?"

I tense up, realizing who she’s talking about without her needing to name her. An inexplicable rage wells up inside me. But I quickly calm down when I see Mapi’s tear-filled eyes staring into mine. I feel so small.

"I-I’m so sorry," I say.

"It’s not your fault," she shakes her head.

"No, really. I want to apologize for what I did to you. I left you for someone else. I chose the easy way out instead of fighting against my depression, fighting for us."

I knew she had a hard time dealing with our breakup. It’s the first time we’ve talked about it since we reconnected. Of course, I had already apologized for leaving, but I had never apologized for breaking up. Her eyes soften.

"Ona..." she whispers.

"I-I feel so guilty for hurting you so much," I continue, my voice breaking. "If I hadn’t been a coward, maybe we’d still be together now. You deserved and still deserve so much better. You have no right to feel bad about all this crap. If anyone deserves happiness, it’s you!"

She smiles softly before snuggling back into me. I rest my head against hers, feeling relieved to have gotten this off my chest. It’s something I should have done a long time ago.

"I never blamed you, Ona... You may have made bad choices, but I understood them all with time. All that mattered to me was getting you back as a friend because I missed you terribly."

"I missed you so much too, Mapi. There wasn’t a moment I didn’t think about you."

"The best thing I ever did was write to you on your birthday a year ago. If I’d known it would bring you back, I would have contacted you sooner," she giggles.

"I might not have reacted the same way if you’d done it earlier..."

"Doesn’t matter. What’s important is that you’re here now and that you’re trying to get better... By the way, reassure me," she says, sitting up. "You don’t want anything more than friendship between us, right?"

"You’re the one asking me that?" I chuckle. "I’m not the one who kissed you five minutes ago."

"Yeah, well, um... I’m sorry about that little lapse... I was just upset. I wasn’t thinking about more. I really appreciate the new relationship we’ve built. I feel like we’ve become inseparable."

I smile at her and nod. She’s right. We were already close, but it was different. We were younger and bolder. I already saw myself spending my life with her, traveling the world. We’ve grown up since then, matured even. Right now, I don’t feel quite like an adult yet, even though I should start becoming one at my age. However, if I’ve learned anything in recent years, it’s that I shouldn’t distance myself from people like Mapi. Our feelings for each other have evolved, but that doesn’t stop us from being close. She’s become indispensable to me. If something were to happen between us again, in my opinion, it should have been when I returned. But that would have been selfish of me, knowing that I was the one who left her. So I simply accepted the friendship she offered me. It wasn’t a negligible support given the situation I was in when I came back home. It was probably the best decision of my life. I believe that even more now, seeing where we are today. Inseparable, that’s the word. If there’s one thing I don’t want, it’s to lose her or hurt her again.

"We are," I murmur. "I don’t want our relationship to change."

She smiles at me before nestling her head into my neck. She lets out a contented sigh. Yeah, this situation couldn’t be better; we both know it. We won’t abandon each other again, no matter the circumstances.

- "No offense, but I never liked Ana," I admitted.

- "I knew that," she chuckled softly. "Why don’t you ever tell me these things?"

- "She was your girlfriend, and you seemed happy. As long as you’re happy, I don’t care who you’re with, and I’ll support you no matter what. But don’t be too upset that this relationship didn’t work out. I know it’s painful, but I’m sure you’ll find the right person when the time is right."

- "Hmm, not right now, at least. I’d rather take a step back."

- "I forbid you from going back to your one-night stands," I grumbled.

- "That wasn’t my intention. I think I really need to find myself, you know?"

- "Yeah…" I sighed.

A soothing silence settled between us. This conversation had been quite enriching. Mapi was finally relaxed. I could hear her gentle, steady breathing. Unfortunately, my curiosity risked breaking this moment of peace.

- "How did she meet Feli?" I asked gently.

- "I get the feeling she’s been coming to my parties more and more, like she’s looking for you."

- "Oh..."

- "I don’t even know who’s to blame between the two of them," she growled. "I think I hate them both. Anyway, enough talking," she said, sitting up. "You’ve got two weeks to distract me! How about we start by going to the amusement park tomorrow? I bought tickets. We’ll bring Joan; he’ll love it."

- "Why not, sure. I have a suggestion for you too. I was going to wait to ask, but now that you’ve brought it up, this might be the best way to get you out of here."

- "Well, I’m listening. What do you propose, Onita?"

- "My group of friends from school is celebrating New Year’s together in Manchester. They’re inviting us to join them... Alexia really wants to meet you, and I really want to go... Please, say yes!"

- "Alexia, huh? She’s the one who’s taken my place over there, admit it! Or no, wait. Even better, it’s Bronze!"

- "Don’t be ridiculous," I rolled my eyes. "No one can take your place, silly. Come on, it would be the best way to meet my new friends. I’m sure you’ll love them."

- "I don’t know…" she pretended to think. "I’m sure you’ll abandon me and leave me on my own all night."

- "Liar," I giggled. "We both know it’ll be you who abandons me as soon as you feel comfortable."

- "Yeah... You’re probably right."

She laughed heartily, making me smile. Maybe I’m not so bad at cheering people up after all. At least I managed to make her laugh.

- "You’re so silly. My answer was already yes as soon as you asked. We’ve got nothing left to do here anyway. And we’re not risking a night out if Feli is after you."

- "Yeah..."

- "Plus, I’ll finally get to meet your new friends. It’s an opportunity not to be missed, right?"

- "Uh-huh," I said with a smile.

- "Can I meet your supervisor too, since we’ll be in Manchester ? I’d like to see what she looks like."

- "How would we do that? I have no contact with her outside of school."

- "You’ve got her number."

- "So? She’s not my friend, she’s my supervisor. She wouldn’t want to."

- "Oh come on, there’s definitely more between you two, considering how she took care of you during your withdrawal and flu. She even gave you private tutoring sessions for your exams. We all know what ‘private tutoring’ means these days," she said, miming air quotes.

- "Good Lord, Maps," I protested. "That’s not it at all!"

She burst out laughing at my reaction. I didn’t find her implication very funny. If I’m getting comments like this here, what must the students at school be thinking? I’m starting to regret telling her everything.

- "Get that idea out of your head," I grimaced. "And don’t you dare say anything like that in front of others when we’re in Manchester."

- "Oh my God, that’s right... We’re actually going there."

This girl exasperates me. She never thinks things through. Sometimes I wonder how she managed to get to her third year in mechanical engineering. I’m not going to complain because it’s her carefree attitude that saved me. Without her crazy plans, I’d probably still be moping in bed every evening after coming home from rehab.

- "But, but, how are we going to do this? I don’t have the money to buy a ticket!"

- "Calm down," I chuckled. "I’ll pay for the trip. Consider it part of your Christmas gift."

- "I can’t accept that."

- "It wasn’t an option. I have a yearly pass, so I get tickets cheaper, and it’s my mom’s money anyway, so I’m not the one directly paying," I shrugged.

- "Alright... By the way, speaking of Christmas..."

- "Yeah?"

- "My parents left to visit family for two weeks. I was supposed to spend the holidays with Ana and her family... She wanted to officially introduce me."

- "Oh... Well, you can stay here. At least I won’t have to endure my fake family alone."

She giggled immediately. "You’ve never accepted them."

- "Whose fault is that?"

- "Let’s not talk about things that upset us. I don’t want us to argue right now."

- "A very good idea. I’ll tell Sam to set an extra plate for you."

- "Are you sure it won’t be a problem?"

- "Of course not. You already know everyone anyway. I don’t care if they complain. My mom won’t say no after our last conversation."

- "What conversation?" she frowned.

- "Nothing important. We argued when we talked about my withdrawal. I kind of hinted that she never trusted me."

- "You didn’t tell me about that..."

- "No, I only briefly mentioned it to Bronze. I didn’t really want to talk about it."

- "Hmm, Bronze, huh!"

- "Stop it," I groaned. "You win, it’s time to sleep."

- "I was joking," she chuckled.

- "Well, it’s not funny."

I turned over to turn off the light and lay down, ready to sleep. But Mapi didn’t seem to get the message as she climbed right over me to turn my lamp back on. I groaned to show my annoyance.

- "What now?" I grumbled.

- "It was a joke! I didn’t know you were so sensitive."

- "I’m not sensitive," I sighed. "I’m just already tired of the rumors at school. I don’t need you adding to them here. There’s nothing between us, OK? She just gives me everything that no one else ever has, that’s all. That’s the only reason she’s special to me. I’m not interested in her in the way you think."

- "Alright, sorry. I won’t tease you about it anymore."

- "Thanks."

I grumbled when she climbed over me again to turn off the light. She snuggled up against me, trying to find a comfortable position. I smiled at this.

- "Mapi. You know I don’t like sleeping on my back, right?"

She groaned in frustration, realizing I wasn’t planning to stay in this position just after she’d found hers.

- "Fine... But can I still sleep in your arms, or is that too much to ask?"

- "Of course you can."

I rolled onto my side and opened my arms. She nestled into them, making sure to tuck her head into my neck. It had been a long time since we’d slept so closely together. I have to admit, I missed it. We finally wished each other good night, and I drifted off with a small smile on my face.

[the-badger-mole]

In a Time of Adversity

It was just his dumb luck, Zuko thought. All year he had been butting heads with the city's most annoying overachiever. Katara, the prodigy with a 9000 IQ, who'd managed to skip a grade and end up in all of Zuko's advanced placement classes, had been thorn in his side since the day she'd corrected one of his physics equations in front of the whole class. Ever since they had been locked in an increasingly heated battle of who would earn the highest marks in their class, and every week felt like a new face off.

Sometimes he would come out on top, but he had to grudgingly admit that while gave as good as he got on tests and assignments, she had the upper hand when it came to quips and put downs. Too often Zuko had been left sputtering in her wake, struggling to find a comeback from some scathing retort she'd just delivered. It wasn't until after yet another one of these exchanges, when Zuko in his frustration had the thought that he would love to throw her against a locker and kiss her until she didn't have the breath for one of her smart remarks, that it occurred to him that there might be more to his feelings towards her than animosity. And that was the last time he ever spoke to her directly. Disaster averted.

So, of course, when their science class goes on a weekend long camping trip in the middle of Backwoods, Nowhere, he would end up being partnered with her to find a rare fungus. Of course they would end up losing the trail and wandering through the forest with no clue how to make it back to camp. And of course, it would start raining, sending them scrambling up the mountain to a cave that was hopefully abandoned.

"At least we won't have to worry about dehydration," Katara said, pulling the water from their clothes.

"Sure," Zuko replied gruffly. He looked around for something to burn, but there wasn't anything but some leaves and twigs around. Not exactly the makings of a bonfire.

"I'm sure they're looking for us already." Katara sat down against a wall and drew her knees up to her chest.

"Great." Zuko wasn't optimistic about the prospect. Their science class wasn't exactly full of the great outdoors types. Katara had the most camping experience of anyone. The best they could hope for was that the chaperones would call search and rescue early the next morning.

"Do you think we should look for some firewood or something?" Katara suggested. She was shivering a bit, and Zuko could feel the chill settling onto his skin, too.

"It'll all be wet," he told her. "All we'll end up doing is smoking ourselves out."

"I can dry it," Katara reminded him. There was a sharp edge to her voice now. Zuko looked over at her and realized she was scowling at him.

"What's your problem?" he asked, irritably.

"You!" Katara shouted. Her voice bounced around the shallow cave jarringly. "You're my problem."

"Me?" Zuko drew back, affronted. "You're the one who got us lost, Katara, Queen of the Jungle!"

"Alright, fine! I'm sorry, alright?" Her voice cracked dangerously. "I just thought we could work together on this and things could go back to normal between us." Whatever Zuko had been expecting her to say, that was not it.

"Normal?" he repeated, completely baffled. "Normal between us? What are you talking about?" Over the sound of the falling rain, Zuko thought he heard Katara sniffling. Was she crying?

"You-you've been avoiding me for weeks," she said. Zuko was stunned. He'd heard Katara laugh (usually at him), and yell (again...usually at him). He'd heard her confidently dressing down a teacher that once made the mistake of telling her that women didn't get far in the science field. But this...this vulnerability in her voice. That was new.

"I haven't been avoiding you," he said. It wasn't entirely a lie. It's not like he turned the other direction when he saw her in the hall. He just didn't engage in their verbal sparring matches.

"You won't talk to me," Katara said. "You barely acknowledge me when I talk to you. When Piando assigned us as partners, you looked like he had just told you to eat a raw snail. I don't know what I did to offend you this badly, but I'm sorry, okay?" She was definitely crying now, and Zuko was panicking.

"I'm not...I'm not angry at you," he told her hesitantly. "I just...it's just that our bickering was beginning to feel....I don't know...childish?"

"So it's because I'm younger?" Katara demanded. Zuko winced. That was a frequent sore spot for Katara. Because she'd been moved ahead in school, some of her teachers and classmates made a big fuss over her age whenever she did something they didn't like. Zuko thought it was stupid. She was a year and some change younger than him, and only two years younger than the oldest people in their grade. Hardly a mind bending gap, especially given how mature she was generally.

"No, that's not it," Zuko said. "It's not about your age, or grades or anything like that. I just don't feel like having an enemy I don't need to have." Katara fell silent for a moment. Zuko thought he could still hear her sniffling every so often.

"I didn't think we were enemies," she said softly. It took a moment for Zuko to understand what she'd said. Then he snorted.

"Right," he scoffed. "That's why you called me a spoiled brat who probably paid someone to do my homework for me."

"Okay," Katara huffed. "I'm not saying we were besties or anything. But I thought we were at least friendly rivals. I wasn't seriously accusing you of cheating. It's just...school isn't always a challenge."

"Egghead," Zuko muttered. Something small-an acorn, probably- hit the wall next to his head. He smirked at Katara in the dark.

"That's more of a criticism of our curriculum than a brag," she said defensively. "Anyway, I was saying that you challenge me. If I wasn't trying so hard to be better than you, I would be so bored."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Katara's soft spoken vulnerability hung in the air between them for a long moment. Then Zuko laughed. He sensed Katara stiffen, draw into herself, and he slid over to her side of the cave.

"I'd be bored without you, too," he admitted. "And for the record, the only one in our school who would be worth paying to cheat from would be you." Katara scowled up at him, Zuko was actually close enough to see it in the dark. Then she laughed, too.

"So what did I do to piss you off so bad, then?" she asked him. Zuko drew back, feeling the heat rush to his face.

"Nothing," he said quickly. "You didn't say or do anything. I just wanted to be different, I guess."

"Oh." Katara wrapped her arms tightly around herself and a hard shiver ran through her.

"You're cold," Zuko said.

"Aren't you?" Katara asked through clenched teeth.

"Firebender," he reminded her. "Um...if you want, you can..." Zuko opened his arm towards her, an awkward invitation. Without hesitating, Katara scooted over and curled into his side, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"You're better than a heating pad," she sighed contentedly.

This was a mistake, Zuko thought immediately. Katara lay her head against his shoulder and every thought he'd had about kissing her until she was dizzy came rushing back. He would be a complete gentleman, of course, but he prayed that sleep would come quickly and end his torture.

"Hey, Zuko?" Katara lifted her head to look at him.

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're here with me." Zuko's mind screeched to a halt. What did that mean? After a moment he decided it didn't really matter.

"I'm glad, too," he said honestly.

[reputationmunson]

Hii I was wondering if you could write a Steve Harrington x Henderson!reader where she’s like 2 or 3 years younger than him and she’s in love with him and he knows about it but he pushes her away because of the age gap but when they’re in the upside down she gets hurt and he freaks out and they have an argument and he realizes his feelings for her. Sorry if it’s confusing :) she/her pronouns please

I am so sorry this took me so long! I’m already a perfectionist and then i’m even worse when it comes to requests because i’m scared of disappointing people that request things. I hope you enjoy and thank you for the request and being patient!

Bloodshed, Crimson Clover | s.h x fem!reader

content: angsty, mentions of unrequited feelings, reader is 20 and steve is 22, blood/injuries, the upside down, mentions of death, happy ending!, henderson!reader(i made reader adopted so that way there’s no indication that she has to resemble dustin) 

Word count: 2.3k

What is it that causes such an incessant need for someone’s validation? Especially when that person has never even given you an inkling of recognition. 

Is it low self-esteem? Is it to fill a void? Or is it because your “adorable”, “genius” younger brother overshadowed you for the majority of your life? 

If you would get a B+ on a test, Dustin would come home and say he got the highest grade in his class. When you got your driver's license, Dustin had just invented one of his gadgets. Those were just two examples out of many instances. 

You know it was never intentional or malicious. You considered him to be your best friend and your mom always talks about how excited you were about having a baby brother. You were adopted as a baby, but biology never mattered much to you. Your mom was your mom and your brother was your brother. No ands, ifs, or buts about it. 

Your issue with approval didn’t start until your freshman year of high school. When you met him. 

Steve Harrington, to be specific. 

It’s cliche, right? The quiet girl who’s a bit of a loner having a huge, almost embarrassing, crush on the popular guy who practically runs the school. 

Much like the rest of the girls, you fell victim to the fascination of Steve. 

As expected, he never paid much attention to you. There was a time period during sophomore year that he would occasionally copy off your tests in science class. He tried to be subtle about it, but that only made it more obvious. It never bothered you, though. It made you feel special, however silly that sounds. 

Then, the unthinkable happened. your little brother, who was still in middle school at the time, befriended Steve. 

To say it was mind boggling would be an understatement. 

Here you were, spending your first two years of high school trying to get his attention, and out of the blue Steve drives Dustin to a school dance. Ever since then, he became a glorified babysitter and mentor to Dustin. Even now, after all these years since Dustin has grown up, their relationship remained the same. 

“I’m always gonna look out for you, buddy” you once overheard Steve say to your brother, making your heart swell. 

You thought for sure this was going to be your chance to get closer to Steve, maybe you’d be lucky enough for him to fall for you the way you fell for him. A silly school girl crush had turned into a pining, unrequited mess. You felt like a fool the way you would try and put yourself out there, only for him to drift further and further from you. 

“Hey, Steve, wanna watch a movie after you drop Dustin off at the arcade?” you’d ask and he’d reply “Sorry, I can’t. Gotta do laundry tonight” or some other half-assed excuse and pity smile to try and let you down easily. 

The way you acted was cumbersome. Laughing at his jokes too loudly when they weren’t even really that funny, putting on your best outfit when you knew he was coming over, and baking him cookies as a ‘thank you’ for taking care of Dustin. You weren’t subtle about your crush, making it even worse that the feelings weren’t reciprocated. 

At first, you chalked it up to being a sophomore while he was a senior, then being a junior once he graduated. After that, you blamed nothing but yourself. Were you not pretty enough? Not funny enough? Not good enough? Too upfront with how you felt? Too desperate?

The same questions run around your mind almost every night before you fall asleep, hoping that one day maybe it’ll hit him that he wants you just as much or maybe you’ll wake up one day and be over him, which is the more likely option. 

At least it was, until tonight. 

_

“Jesus christ, y/n, you could’ve gotten yourself killed!” Steve reprimands for what feels like the thousandth time. His arm supports your waist as your arm is wrapped around his shoulders as you walk into his house.

“So you’ve said” you grunt, barely audible due to the fact you feel like you won’t make it if you use up all your energy to speak. 

_

A gate had opened to the upside down, which you only learned about two years ago. You all thought the gate was closed for good, but alternate dimensions seem to be a bit unpredictable. 

You refused to let Dustin go with you and Steve agreed. Both of you had one thing in common; you’d do anything to protect him. It was only you and Steve that had gone and it wasn’t exactly how you pictured having alone time with him. 

After what felt like hours of going in circles, you strayed from him in an attempt to find your way out and then planned to go back to him then lead the way back home. Steve ran after you, but ended up losing you. 

All of the sudden, the weirdest looking creature you’d ever seen came out of nowhere, scratching and biting at you. You fought hard, finally grabbing hold of your weapon and killing whatever the hell was trying to kill you. 

You laid there for what felt like an eternity, covered in blood with blurry vision and the feeling of slipping away from your body. 

“Oh my god, y/n!” you had heard him shout and he sounded like he was a million miles away. “Nonono, what happened?” he kneeled on the ground, hands flew to try your wounds to try and stop the bleeding

“I tripped” you attempted to joke, hissing in pain when you let out a small chuckle. He didn’t laugh, though. Didn’t even crack a smile. He just looked at you with wide, concerned eyes. “I’m gonna help you stand, okay?”

“I-I c-can’t” you began to sob. “It hurts so bad, Steve”

“I know, I know, but we gotta get you out of here. I’m gonna clean you up and make you feel better, but you gotta stand up” He tries to help you up, but you can’t do it. “Just leave me. You need to get out of here. Please don’t make me move, please” you beg. 

“I can’t lose you, y/n. We can’t lose you. Think about Dustin and your mom and your friends a-and me” you swear it sounds like he’s choking on a sob. What does he mean he can’t lose you? You barely mutter out an ‘okay’ and muster up all of your energy to move. 

Somehow, you escape the hellhole and you don’t remember how you make it back to his house, but you do. You’re battered and bruised, but you're safe with Steve’s arm around you, nonetheless. You’re gonna have to find a way to send the weirdest thank you note to that demonic creature. 

_

Steve runs around the bathroom frantically, gathering every possible first-aid item as you sit on the sink counter. 

“We gotta get you cleaned up first, alright?’’ you give a small nod and he turns the shower on before rushing out of the bathroom, going as quickly as he can so you aren’t left alone too long. 

“Here take these pain pills” he says when he returns, handing you the pills and water. “And I’m gonna put this stool in the shower so you can sit down, okay? Oh, and here are some clean clothes and towels” he’s talking so fast, still in a panic. “M’gonna be fine, Steve. Don’t freak out”

“Can you, um, get undressed by yourself?” he asks, avoiding eye contact. “mhmm” you respond and he helps you down from the counter. “I’m gonna be right outside that door. Let me know when you’re dressed” 

Steve shuts the door behind him and sits on the floor right outside, just like he said he’d do. 

The hot water bites at your wounds, blood and dirt flow down the drain and you can’t stop the tears that start to burst. You almost died tonight, but Steve saved you. He’s still saving you. 

His words echo throughout your mind. “I can’t lose you’’ he had said. Did you hallucinate or something? Did he actually say that? 

On the other side of the door, Steve sits with his head in his hands and trying to quiet his sobs. He’s seen and experienced things unimaginable, but the image of you lying on the ground almost lifeless makes him sick. He thought you were already dead. The feeling of his heart dropping to his stomach hasn’t gone away. 

Steve has never thought of a world without you in it and now that he has, regrets swirl in his head. 

He remembers you in high school. The introverted girl with an obvious crush on him that he never thought twice about because let's be honest, he was no stranger to girls being attracted to him. At the time, Steve only thought of you as the girl two years younger than him who would get flustered everytime he sat next to her in science class.

 As time went on, he knew your feelings never went away, but it took him almost losing you to realize how he feels about you. A world without you in it would be a world not worth being a part of. 

Steve hears the shower turn off and your groan as you get dressed. He quickly wipes his tears and tries to compose himself. 

“Steve” you mutter, voice meek. “Are you dressed?” he asks. “yeah. Can you help me now, please?” he’s never opened a door faster in his life.

Despite the look of defeat on your face, you still look beautiful. Especially in his clothes. 

“Can you sit on the counter?” he asks and you hoist yourself up with a grunt. “I’m gonna lift up your shirt then clean the wounds with rubbing alcohol. Might sting a little” he informs you. 

When the alcohol hits your wounds, you grab Steve’s shoulder and squeeze. “sorry” you mutter. “s’fine. I know this hurts. I don’t mind” he assures you. “If you wanna talk as a distraction, that’s fine. It’s helped me in the past” he suggests. 

“What did you mean when you said you couldn’t lose me?” you ask, getting straight to the point.

“I don’t think i said that” he lies. “you did” you counter. “I said everyone else couldn’t lose you” he responds. He’s too scared to tell you how he really feels, even after all this. “Are you really going to argue with a dying person?” “You aren’t dying. You’re fine”

“Then why were you crying?” you argue. “I wasn’t. I’m tired” he lies again. “You’re impossible” you scoff. “I’m impossible? You’re the idiot who ran away and almost got killed!” he exclaims. “I was trying to find a way home!” you defend yourself and he rolls his eyes. 

He stops cleaning your wounds to look at you. “And how did that go? You do understand that you almost died, don’t you? It was so fucking stupid”

“Then why didn’t you just leave me like I asked you to?’

“Dustin would never forgive me” he states. “Is that all?” he hesitates for a second

“Yes” 

“Tell me the truth” you demand. “That is the truth,” he insists. “I don’t believe you”

“Fuck, y/n! What do you want me to say? That if I lost you I would never fucking recover? That if I had to go the rest of my life without hearing the way you laugh, I’d never smile again? Or do you wanna know that the thought of you being gone would kill me and I would never forgive myself. Ever” 

“Don’t say that if you don’t mean it or ‘cause you know that’s just wanna hear” you look down at your lap and a tear falls down your cheek. “I’m not and I hate that this is what it took for me to realize that I lo-” he stops himself and you look up at him with wide eyes. “Do you really feel that way?” you whisper and he nods, huffing out a sigh. 

“Can you kiss me?”

“I will once I put the bandages on. I promise” he swears “They can wait. I’ve been waiting for five years”

He rests his hand on your cheek and you try to lean in, but whimper in pain when you move. “Sit still, baby. Let me take care you”

Steve Harrington just called you ‘baby’. If you found out you died and went to heaven, you wouldn’t be surprised. 

Steve leans in slowly, pressing kisses to the corners of your lips before fully placing his lips on yours. You sigh into the kiss, feeling the weight of a thousand pounds being lifted off of you. His lips are as soft as you imagined they would be and his hand that cradles your face makes you feel safer than you’ve ever been. 

“I love you” he whispers against your lips “I love you, too. I always have” 

“Way to one up me” he teases. “You better get used to it ‘cause you loooovvvee me” 

“Yeah, I do, so you don’t have to write sad love poems in your diary anymore”

“You read those?!” you gasp and he laughs. “Dustin told me about them. They sounded like shakespeare, you should write a damn book or something”

“Shut up and kiss me again”

He kisses you again and again, only stopping to finish tending to your wounds. When you start to cry over the scars you’re gonna have, he promises that he’s going to kiss and adore them for the rest of your lives. You don’t doubt him for a second

Tonight was equally the worst and best night of your life, but you’d do it all over again for him in a heartbeat.

_

thank you for reading!

_

[akaicodes]

update to my roadmap of learning https://www.tumblr.com/akaicodes/744920785897111552/roadmap-of-learning-curriculum-related-so-far - 4 months later ♡

• C# - spent ~1 year so far practicing, more comfortable, can build whole sites/programs with little help

• HTML & CSS - started ~5 months ago, confident in both, can style a site without help online, still much to learn

• JavaScript + Vue - Axios - can build “full stack” applications where i do both backend & frontend and host online (love JS!!)

• REST - experienced for 5 months! can build my own REST API, use someone elses with axios & test it thoughoutly with Postman (+Javascript code)

• Unit testing & UI testing - learned so many better ways to unit test & UI test more indeph

• Started leaning Git more with commands

• SQL - can manipulate simple databases and more one from scratch

& huge thanks to my sister @niyacodes for being on this journey with me 💓

++++ I went to a 5 hour exam for all these subjects (+- more) and got the highest grade possible 🥹 (i failed my first programming exam in 1st sem!!!!) ((pic is my favorite after study-snack))

[lavender--fairy]

hi, just wanna share a "success story." i'm choosing to stay anonymous because i don't want to be bombarded with questions, because the asker can find answers within themselves.

i'll just cut straight to the chase. throughout high school, especially when we were online during the pandemic, i would cheat on all my exams. i'd say this started mid 8th grade until mid 11th grade. mind you, it wasn't threshold based, so i wasn't really harming anyone. me cheating basically stopped the class average from dropping down 70% lol.

the act of me cheating alone reveals many things; i was unconfident in myself, insecure, and cared what other people thought of me.

11th grade is where people here start to get really anxious. pulling all nighters and getting caffiene addictions. but i was lazing around, and did what i always did. of course, online exams don't last forever, especially not when it comes to an international exam. it really only hit me months before the real tests that cheating wasn't gonna get me anywhere.

how was i supposed to do these exams? ones that people take at least two years to prepare for? that people study their asses off for? with all the high expectations i falsely gained from my peers and parents, i knew that if i failed these tests, not only would i be ashamed, but everyone would begin to doubt me and inevitably find out about my cheating habits. and i didn't want that to happen.

i did everything i could. i tried to study, but i was inefficient because i basically never opened a book on my own before that, then i tried to get tuition, which only worked to some extent. the highest i have everr gotten on a practice paper was a B, and it was a low one.

i took eight subjects. most people here take 6/7, but i didn't wanna drop one because i didn't want to feel the "shame." again, i really cared about what others thought of me.

so, at this point, i thought. well, i'm screwed.

then i came across subliminals while looking up focus music, which lead me to manifestion -> law of assumption -> neville goddard -> the 4D -> the inner man.

started to implement the law. thought i'd pass all my exams because hell, why not? i persisted that i was just gonna pass because i said so.

i gave the inner man good grades because i could. i saw a good report card in my head because i could. i imagined myself happy on results day. despite the fact that i was underprepared by a mile. why? because i could.

i got straight A's for my exams and got an outstanding reward. this truly revealed to me the power of the law, because just a month back, i was pulling my hair out and stressing like crazy. i'm not proud of my old habits. but with the law, i was able to live the lazy life of my dreams (lol) and still be awarded with praise, smiles and trophies.

wanted to share this story because i feel like knowing the law is so important. it's so easy too. all you have to do is give it to yourself, the inner man, the true self.

don't stress about getting those grades, getting that girl, that dream body, clear skin. don't stress about getting. just give it to yourself, because you can.

hope this helps someone out there realise something :)

heyy butterbean!! This is amazingg thank you so much <3

[chibrary]

The Chrimer: 2015, F3.

Everyone loves a good rivalry.

Charles and Max's karting history could-- and probably will-- be their own primer, but for Charles' 2015 season only one part really matters: Max jumps from F3 to F1. This casts a long shadow on Charles as his childhood karting rival.

Charles spends most of the year getting asked about seeing Max compete at the highest level of motorsport, like in this segment from a South China Morning Post article about the 2015 Macau Grand Prix:

For his part, however, Leclerc is keeping the focus on what’s right in front of him, rather than on what the horizon might offer as he sets out to tackle the tricky Guia circuit for the first time, knowing, of course, the greats of racing who have gone out there before him and still with comparisons to former VAR – and current Formula One – star Max Verstappen ringing in his ears. “I am taking things step by step,” says Leclerc. “I want to arrive in Formula One when I am more than ready and Formula 3 is a good choice in that I can learn and develop. And I raced Max all through my karting years and we fought each other at the finish, so I have always had the comparisons with him and I am okay with them.”

The jump to F3 is a last minute surprise: Charles had originally been tipped for a full-time Eurocup spot. Eurocup would have been more of the Formula Renault 2.0 level of competition Charles had experienced the previous year; F3 was considered a promotion.

In an interview, Charles was asked why he decided on F3 instead of Eurocup:

"After the season of last year, my manager and I thought that it would be better to jump to F3! Firstly, there are 3 races per weekend and 11 weekends so we drive a lot and so we gain a lot of experience! Then loads of drivers were planning to do it! And I felt really good in the car and the tests went well."

Surprisingly, Charles picks to race for Dutch team Van Amersfoort in the FIA Formula 3 European Championship like Max did the previous year. He essentially steps into his former rival's spot, replacing Max as team leader and taking his former engineer. This was allegedly on Jos Verstappen's suggestion, but there isn't much reference to that connection out there that I could find.

This doesn't help the comparisons.

Formula Scout-- in their 2015 Driver Profile of Charles-- would write:

Leclerc marked himself out as a real prospect in karting – so much so he topped our 2012 ‘karters to watch‘ feature, ahead of Verstappen. But it’s never a foregone conclusion that a successful karter will make a successful car racer. [...] Those performances suggested he would be capable of stepping up to F3, particularly as his old rival Verstappen had made it look easy and didn’t have the benefit of a year of car racing experience. And so he has proven to be. It’s still early days, but Leclerc has so far been the class of a large crop of rookies and taken the fight to proven F3 winners with multiple years of experience already under their belt. His early performances are on a par with what last year’s star rookies Esteban Ocon and Verstappen were doing – in fact, his record of two wins and five podiums from the first six races replicates the 2014 champion’s start. If he keeps it up, he will deserve to be held in the same high esteem as them a few months down the line.

They would ultimately summarize Charles' future as so:

While he’s got plenty in common with his old karting rival and Van Amersfoort F3 predecessor Verstappen, a lesser reputation and sensible management mean he’s unlikely to be making the jump straight up to F1 next year. He will therefore need to sustain this impressive form into an intermediate category like GP2 in order to make the grade.

Even with the comparisons to Esteban and Max, Charles still appears to be able to joke with both at the beginning of the season.

This lightheartedness would be needed, especially when Max was the special F1 driver guest for one of Charles' podiums:

Charles would start the season strong. As a rookie, Charles would top the morning running at the pre-event test of the opening round weekend by nearly half a second.

In true Charles fashion, he's unable to take the W:

"A good day," said Leclerc at the end of the test, after reviewing the results and drawing conclusions. “We have learned a lot, both about the set-up for qualifying and for the race. However, this does not mean that I am automatically one of the leading drivers this weekend as well, testing and racing are two different things. But needless to say, it's my goal to do it."

He would bring this momentum into winning in Silverstone, Hockenheim, Spa-Francorchamps and Nuremberg. I find the races themselves a little dull to break down race-by-race, but if you're interested.. an anon has provided video of every race here.

Charles would explain that:

“We arrived at the first race quite confident but obviously there were still had doubts from some people who didn’t know me when I arrived for testing. We were really fast from the first race which was a bit of a surprise because I was a rookie among all these experienced drivers so they didn’t really expect me. But from another point of view we were prepared, we worked hard and after testing it wasn’t that much of a surprise for us, how we went. We were quite confident.”

However... Charles' season would become inconsistent after a crash in Zandvoort with Lance Stroll would damage his chassis in a way that could never be correctly repaired.

Jules would pass the next week.

Charles would only podium once more during the remaining season, five months later in Macau.

He is quoted as saying:

“It is a good result, but I am never happy when I'm not first. Since I was a child I was never happy when I wasn't first. So, it is the still the same.”

Charles would end up finishing the season in fourth place behind Felix Rosenquist, Antonio Giovinazzi, and Jake Dennis. He'd still have 4 wins, 13 podiums, 3 pole positions and 6 fastest laps, making him the rookie champion over future F1 competitors George Russell, Lance Stroll and Alexander Albon.

Formula Scout would summarize his season:

VAR, like most, couldn’t keep up with Prema in the later part of the season but Leclerc seemed to lose some individual sparkle too. That’s forgivable for a teenage rookie though, particularly with the early-season highs becoming impossible to match. And no young racer should have to say goodbye to a life-long friend and mentor mid-season. Leclerc might not have been champion but he was F3’s standout talent in 2015.

Even with the issues in the later half of the season, he was still tapped to go into GP3 with Todt's team, ART Grand Prix. And he had some lighthearted moments:

(Behind the scenes footage here.)

One of the most lasting legacies of this season, though, is how it would set up the rest of Charles' career.

Charles did go into 2015 with very few sponsors outside of Todt. In a pre-season assessment, Formula Scout summarizes his off-track relationships:

No doubt assisted by the Bianchis’ tutelage, Leclerc signed with Todt Jr’s All Road Management firm in 2011. At present, Leclerc has no ties to F1 teams, but through his work with Felipe Massa, Pastor Maldonado and Bianchi, Todt has dealt with most of them and will be very well-placed to get his protege a role when the time comes. A potential stumbling point is that most F1 teams are already overflowing with some serious sub-F1 prospects, but if he continues to impress as he’s doing at the moment, they could begin falling over each other to find a space for him. Funding-wise, Leclerc benefits from partners usually tied to Todt’s projects, and watch maker Richard Mille (currently a sponsor of the Lotus F1 team) is his loyal main backer. And you’d imagine that being billed as a future F1 star from Monaco could well tempt some further future investment.

Lance Stroll would spend most of his single-seaters career against Charles as the Ferrari-backed driver until 2015, when he left to take a development driver role with Williams.

By this point, the Ferrari Driver Academy was heavily scrutinized to the point where it was speculated that they would do away with the initiative entirely. While Red Bull's junior program had brought Sebastian Vettel, Daniel Ricciardo and Daniil Kyvat to its senior team, no driver from the FDA had successfully made the jump. At the end of 2015, Ferrari team principal Maurizio Arrivabene decided to appoint a new head and restructure the program entirely.

Charles was rumored to be the next addition to the Ferrari Driver Academy in November 2015 as part of these changes; by December, articles were already talking as if the signing was inevitable.

In 2020, Charles would talk about visiting Maranello for the first time-- not as a friend of Jules'-- that year with his father:

I went with my father to Maranello (the home of Ferrari). I was 17 years young and extremely shy. I was scared because I didn't know if I was good enough to be included in the programme.

He was. He would end up impressing Ferrari in his two days of testing.

They would announce Charles as a member of the Ferrari Driver Academy in 2016, setting up both his next year and the rest of his career.

[boizandgurlzinthehouse]

𝐬𝐡𝐞 + 𝐢 = ♡ (𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐)

pairing: lexi x reader

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏

plot: y/n is fezco's younger sister, with all the benefits and risks. she don't use that much drugs, and never keeps it with her since in school. y/n is pretty laid back, loves little things in life —and maybe lexi howard. but she don't have to know that. that's only y/n's secret, but can she keep it when destiny brings them closer to each other?

word count: 3.188k

warnings: mentions of drugs, p*rn, basic euphoria things, fez is the coolest bro in the neighborhood

*i wrote this a year ago?  think? don't mind me pliz, i just binged down euphoria once more, re-read the first chapter and got excited again.*

✿ rue's narrating ✿ since jules —alongside maddy and kat— knew that y/n was in love with lexi, she wanted to meet the girl in private, because y/n didn't said anything to maddy and to kat, even if they said they tried hard to get something out of the girl. "and, what do you think about the guys?" maddy asked as they looked for clothes. y/n stood beside her with a hoodie in her arms, typing something into her phone. maybe if she could see who's the girl talking with... "huh? oh, no... not so much." "oh, and why is that? or you just don't tell me because you have a crush on nate, you little bitch!" she teased, but y/n smiled and shook her head. "never in a million years would i crush on nate, and not just because of you, but because he's exatly not my type." "yeah? and what is your type?" maddy felt the glorious taste of victory in her mouth, but when y/n looked at her like she knew that the three knew, she immediately tried to help the situation. "because, y/n, you never dated anybody." "i dunno what's my type, i don't have one... maybe don't be a human trafficker... but yeah, that's all... and i dated a boy, once! only for two days, but this also counts something... i think." wondered y/n. "why did the two of you break up?" maddy couldn't give up, not right now. "i dunno... he was kinda annoying, sucking me for drugs from my brothers, wanted nudes and stuff... fezco almost beat him in the front of the school, but when i told him that we split up with him, we smoked some real good weed at night. but why are you askin' me these questions?" "because valentine's is close, that's why." "maddy, valentine isn't even in six months." "...time is relative, y/n." maddy was defeated for the first time, and she didn't like the feeling.

the next one was kat —with no better outcomes. "can you add that also to my account?" kat pointed to her electronic credit card, while y/n did it with three simple clicks —at the computer science class, it seemed to be much more difficult, that's why the girl ditched the classes and only went to the tests to complete it with the highest grade not just in her class, but in their entire school. many people tried to reach her level, but y/n was by far the most professional hacker in the area. "i did it. do you want something more, or—" "what kind of porn you're into?" kat's sudden question left the girl speechless, looking away from the screen of kat's computer. "what the fuck, kat? are you high or something?" she muttered, peeking out of her door from her sitting position to check if fezco or ash wasn't listening. "no, i'm just interested. since you know about my stuff, it's only fair if you tell me too, isn't it?" kat tried so hard, really. "first of all, i don't think so... you just take your money physically from me, and your porn account doesn't touch me... otherwise, maddy asked me too that what's my type, what's this about? we gon' watch porn on the next sleepover or something?" y/n joked, and kat's face got a little bit hot. "no, i was just interested... people have weird kinks and you never talk about it. in the end, maybe we find out that you have feet-kink, or something else." "would you shame me if i'd like to watch people's legs?" y/n asked back giggling, and when cat tried to stutter something, she began to get serious. "seriously, kat, would that be the problem? i thought we're friends, you just asked and i answered." "n-no, it's perfectly fine, i mean, me and maddy, we- i was just curious, okay? you don't have to feel ashamed or-" kat was bothered y/n loud laugh, pulling up her shoulders as they shook. the other girl lightened a little bit —y/n weren't a piece of cake when it came to her sexual preferencies. "i just pulling you, kat. why would i want to watch other people's weird arms and legs? sometimes my own limbs scare me." "really?"

"only if i smoke some weed." they laughed at y/n's words, but when the y/h/c girl said goodbye to kat and closed their door, kat got her phone out.

kat y/n is so fucking confusing i hope she won't find this out maddy HA I KNEW now you come for me with 10 dollars girl as jules read the messages, swtiching from 'shyguy', prepared herself for the next day and the class with y/n to set a sleepover for the night or the next —she was the only hope for them.

❀

on that terrible monday, the frst day of the school when y/n went home, she tried not to burst out —it was quite difficult, because her brothers cared about her. like, cared about her a lot. "how as your day, lil sis?" fezco's sound was clearly audible through the fast click of the cash-counter machine, as he heard the front door's banging. y/n didn't answer; it was usual, because she didn't say a word until she showered down and changed into some lazier stuff. ash wanted to go after her, but he knew that this was the first day of school, he went too, but still, y/n was much more vulnerable than him and knew that people from school always pulled on y/n for drugs for the thousandth time. "you think everything's alright with her?" he asked fez, who didn't even look up. "chill bro, she's everytime like this when school begins." after a half an hour, y/n came out to eat something since she didn't eat lunch and her breakfast wasn't the biggest, simply a toast with butter or some piece of cookies. opening the fridge, grabbing a can of coke and some processed spagetti, tossing it into the microwave for two minutes, y/n lumped down onto the chair next to fez. opening the can, she drank a couple sips. "you good, sis? how was your day?" y/n sighed. "i fucked up shit." she mumbled, but before fezco could ask anything with a concerned, sudden look towards her, she stood up to get her food from the microwave before the ping! noise sounded. y/n didn't like that sound, she didn't know why but she didn't. "wha' do ya mean? someone with drugs and stuff, or— "no, no, not at all. only rue came to me." "but she's been into hospital with overdose and then she went to rehab, she ain't a junkie anymore, sis. you 'now dis too, been 'ere, in 'er house." "i know fezco, but whether she was in rehab or not, she's still an addict. don't give her drugs, please." fezco sighed, while y/n eat with one fork from the pasta. "but rue's not my biggest concern yet." "then what, little sis? tell me." fezco stopped in the counting, expecting something really bad, horrible shit to come. "do you know the feeling when you did something bad, but don't know what to do because you feel all you could do is something cringy, and all you can do is avoid the situations, but you can't do this forever?" "wow, that's some... complicated feeling shit, didn't know my little sister can feel so many feelings in 'erself." fezco muttered, but he felt relieved. "who caused you this mess of feelings?" "the girl i crush, you know. lexi." fezco nodded knowingly, stretching his hand out for y/n to hold it. "and what did you to 'er?" "does it matter? i just fucked up shit." "yeah, it matters much, kiddo! it ain't the same if you jus' said a bad word to 'er or had sex with 'er sibling." y/n flinched. having sex with cassie was off to the plate since... she didn't even think about cassie in this way, she was way too hetero and bitchy —it wasn't bad from a view, but for y/n, these were the opposites what lexi was having. "no, hell no, bro! it's just... i gave her advice, because she's friends with rue, like, childhood friends. and... it doesn't matter, but they fought and i gave her, i mean lexi, i gave her advice and... she tried to brush my leg but i just flinched away." "but why did you flinch away? did she try to stab you or somethin'?" "no, lexi could never do something like that! she just reached out, trying to thank me or something, i don't know... oh my god, she probably thinks that i am disgusted by her! or that i just don't want to be near of her, or... i don't like her." after y/n monologue, fez nodded. "so you gave 'er advice?" "yeah...?"

"an' just flinched away 'case of some random touch?" "yeah, but... what do you mean, bro?" "i mean that, and if you take your old big bro's word serious... you're afraid 'ow your body reacts or does things, but you souldn't. you gave 'er advice, who the fuck cares if you jus' aren' ready to be touched? you should be worried if you didn't gave 'er advice." "really?" the corners of y/n's mouth lifted lightly. "word. now come here, kiddo." y/n jumped into fez's arms, pulling her leg up beside his, just like when they were kids and fez comforted her on the couch when he and his grandma got home, with blood on the money they got. fez cared so much about his little sister, he knew that he can't protect her forever, and that her heart gonna want what it wants; hs knew guys were dangerous enough, and adding the fact that everyone know what he and ash did, y/n got involved too, sometimes causeless. but he also know by his grandma that girls can be bad too, maybe even worse. y/n wasn't stupid, but she could fall in love so hard that it can get her in trouble —but this lexi girl seemed nice, so as long as she didn't do anything wrong, fezco couldn't have to sleep with one eye open. when y/n laid into bed, she checked the last time her phone, praying for not to see any messages from lexi or cassie. but it was just one single new message from jules —she clicked on it, smiling to herself. she liked jules, they met when she first went to fez to get drugs.

❀

it was the hottest day in california, y/n was afraid that the roof above them gonna melt and destroy the shop —all the blower fans was at the maximum, but y/n still couldn't concentrate fully on her work. it was pretty difficult, one of her clients asked her to hack into someone's discord account, and since y/n's special password-hacking-machine that could just simply spin out the password was blew off because of the much heat, she had to do it in the manual way; it was easy, but tired as hell because she had to hide all the signs that the account has been hacked, meaning the e-mail and other notifications.

"y/n, could you get me a little speed?" fez asked her, shouting to the back. cracking her back, ribs and knuckles, y/n crawled to the table and the bags, picking out the right yellow bag, shaking it a little bit. "here, i dunno why you couldn't get yourself, busy man" she mumbled, but when she started to walk back, she blinked at the costumer who stood before the siblings. she was really pretty; strawberry hair and skinny frame. not the type y/n exactly liked, but she felt that she would be a good friend. "hi" the girl muttered, y/n looked back and lowered her eyebrows. "hey... ya new here?" "yeah, just came a few days ago. i assume that you live here." "since i've been born" y/n replied while smiling lowly. "going to school on 1st september?" the girl nodded. y/n went for a lollipop. "good luck. i'm y/n, by the way." "jules, jules vaughn." "that's perfect, jewel." "no, jules. like the vape 'juul', just with 's' on the end." "oh, so fucking sorry! you know, i'm shit with names, in the beginning i got to write my friends names' on my arm to not to mix or forget it" shit, why did she say that? that was basically the dumbest shit she did in school —y/n hoped jules won't gonna tell it to anyone. "really? that's—" "moronic, i know, ya" "no, that's cute." "shit, thanks..." y/n muttered, looking down at her shoes. fez came back. "i see you made new friends, you lil misanthrope" he teased her. she never heard fez say anything so cultivated —that's why she began to read some books, and for lexi to notice her by how educated or art-loving she is, but everytime y/n tried to tell her what is in the book, she got tongue-tied, or misspelled things like jules' name. "fuck you, fez" she responded. jules payed, but before she turned around, she passed y/n her phone. "what? juul'?" jules giggled while nodded for the other to write her number down. "you're the best face i met yet in this shitty town. and thanks for the luck-wishing." y/n nodded her head, pulling up her knees as she sat beside the cash register. "you're gonna need it, jewel."

❀

juljul wanna sleep over tomorrow bub?

y/n smiled —maybe jules can help her.

❀

jules' room was y/n's second favorite place beside her own room, the girl even let her to decorate the place with scented candles, crystals, minerals and small plants like aloe vera or a pretty cactus. jules loved how y/n let her do her makeup, even if y/n only used eyeliner, eyeshadow or mascara, but she lied for hours calmly with a joint in her hand while jules did whatever she wanted with her face and her hair, the two telling random fatcs or stories to each other.

but now, something was different.

y/n felt it when she sat down on jules' bed, but when jules went to her gardrobe, she looked at y/n from the mirror more times, what made the other suspicious, but she didn't made drama, just kept srcolling on her phone.

"how was your day, y/n?"

"good, but you were with me all the time, so you must 'now, juul'." y/n shrugged her shoulder. "but i have questions for you, too."

jules looked at her with slightly lifted eyebrows, but kept smiling. "sure bitch, just gonna get some drinks. do you want too?"

"yeah, thank you."

y/n was stressed —she had to ask what's with kat and maddy, and if they suspected something, than cassie could suspect something too —after all, it was her sister who she was in love with, and mayb cassie's not that big mind person, but she could guess things too like anyone else. but the most important thing is that... did jules know?

"we only have gatorade, if that's okay." jules passed her a red cup,

"thank you so much."

"so, what is your question? wait, before we begin, can i practice on you?"

y/n nodded, lying on her back simply, like she always did —she was grateful for her; maybe like this, the conversation isn't gonna be that overwhelming.

as jules collected all her stuff, y/n checked social medias, but everything was silent. throwing away her phone when jules dropped down herself beside her ribs, she blinked a couple of times.

"so, i was wondering... that maddy and kat were curious about my love life. like, you three always ship me with basically everybody i talk to or deal with, but in the last few days, they were like mad men... or mad women, sorry."

"sorry for interrupting, should i make your eyeliner curvier or flatter? both can match your eyes, i hate it that you have so perfect eyes, bitch." jules bragged. she didn't seem so stressed, neither was her hand flinching or shaking —y/n's brain slowly began to work, gratefully the weed wasn't that strong.

"i never mind, juul. so, as i was tellin' you, maddy and kat was... just crazy about my sexual life. and not because i am paranoid or some shit, but this happened after lexi intervened, so... do you know something i don't?"

jules frowned for a second, looking at y/n, she shook her head instantly.

"no, of course not! we are just interested, because... you know, i laid down with men some times,"

"quite severely and often", y/n added with a little shit-eating grin, getting some nose scrunches from jules as she ended up adding little stars on the underline of her eyes, under her under-lashes.

"okay, okay! well, maddy got nate..."

"and their relationship amaze me everyday, with the screaming and pissing off with each other", y/n replied, jules rolled her eyes at the comment without a word,

"...and kat... honestly, i don't know what she does on the internet, but she also talks recently with guys."

"or with men? seriously, jules, i don't want to hurt any of you, and i really fucking appreciate that you worry about my love life, but... i don't want to do things as fast as you... and i don't want to have a relationship that is just screeching and hollering and glaring at each other with teary eyes... and i don't want to find love on the internet, it seems easy, but there's never really affection, it's just two people who imagine each other how they want, and if reality doesn't match the imagination, than it goes shit, always. i don't know when i'm gonna find someone, and if i'm ever gonna find someone."

jules nodded, continuing to do her makeup. y/n sighed suddenly, leaning her leg on jules' waist. the other girl nudged her, making y/n blink several time, and strangely serious. sighing, y/n looked into jules' eyes.

"but... there's something that you should know. i know that your close to rue and shit, so... i trust you with this information... i don't really like guys. at all."

the blonde grinned, covering her mouth with her hand. they could see the sparkles from her energy around the room, as a big confession was in the way.

"does this mean... that you..."

"i already have two guys at home, what is so likable about them?" y/n giggled, confessing her love about girls (too?), then got really surprised when jules lifted her up and hugged her tightly.

"i'm so glad that you shared this with me. i had some thoughts about this, but... it's really different if you say it. with your mouth." she whispered happily.

"with my mouth?" y/n pointed at her own lips, making the two of them laugh again.

as jules was done with her makeup, she turned on the tv to watch some anime and stuff, grabbing her phone, it constantly lighted up with kat's and maddy's notifications. looking at y/n as she walked back from the kitchen, she dropped the phone, waiting for y/n to cuddle her.

y/n's gonna tell them if she's ready. other then that,

one step closer.

i can't believe i post this, seriously. i hope you guys liked this part, and sorry for the waiting )):

leave a comment if you're glad that I came out from my cave hihihi <3 stay safe girliez

taglist: @jdstarkey @mr-robot-x @trikruismybitch

[sageisntamathperson]

(intro post) I am many things, but I am not a math person.

And when I say “many things,” I mean MANY things. Art. Creative writing. Journalism. Acting. Theology. Philosophy. Urban planning, Disabled self-advocacy. Environmentalism. You name it — if it’s humanities or a biology-adjacent science, I’ve got it.

But while an unimaginably nerdy fourth-grade me was founding a school newspaper or making an unprompted presentation about pharmacogenomics (yes, I was extremely a bit pretentious), there is one subject I have hated since I had the capacity to hate:

Math.

I qualified for Advanced Math testing every year of elementary school. EVERY YEAR! And did I ever get in?! NooOOOoOOO!

Every year, I was good enough to get tested but never enough to actually ace that test — and every year, I watched the smug little faces of my peers as they moved to another classroom to learn the arcane, esoteric, staggeringly difficult art of fourth/fifth grade math. For a little kid whose entire identity was built on being the “smartest kid in the class,” it was agony in its purest form.

This continued into middle school and is still a problem in high school today. I’m in honors math — but not the highest honors math. My math scores are always notably lower than my scores in, well… everything else. In fact, I’ve gotten two Bs in my entire life as of now (sophomore year), and they were both in — shocker — math. I’m in a math class with freshmen, and when I went to my school’s resource center to ask for help on matrices, I ended up getting tutored by someone my own age.

(Are these stupid problems? Of course! There are people dealing with math [and grades in general] who have it a lot harder than I do. Intellectually, I know that a B isn’t a bad grade, it’s okay to be in a class with people younger than you, and a lot of people have a tutor the same age as them. Don’t feel bad if any of that applies to you! I’m just a perfectionist who uses academic validation a source of self-worth, and for me, this is the equivalent of a rock that never seems to get out of my shoe.)

All this was tolerable, but when I found out that the highest math class in my high school — the one I would be on track for if I got into Advanced Math in elementary or middle school — had barely any girls in it, that was the last straw. I am not perpetuating the myth that girls are bad at math!

So I’ve decided that even though I’ve been told my entire life that “everyone has different talents” and I’m “just not a math person,” I will be working hard to skip the equivalent of a grade in math and get into AP Calc BC junior year. I will find out what it takes to be good at math (and why some of my friends like it so much).

(Plus, math is an extremely inconvenient subject to be mediocre in. Intellectually, I understand the appeal. It’s built into the fabric of the universe, for crying out loud!)

And thus, into the studying vortex I go.

For women in STEM everywhere!

For vindication for my elementary-school self!

And most of all, for my own fragile ego intellectual curiosity and an unquenchable thirst for learning!

[kings-highway]

haikyuu esl accent headcanons ig miyagi prefectural edition

Karasuno

- Kageyama and Hinata are both idiots and barely pass english to begin with but I like to imagine Karasuno has an english teacher that studied/came from somewhere in Canada, so they (and all of Karasuno) end up with a classic mix of American/British vocabulary

- Daichi s u c k s at english and can barely pass the class but his accent is PERFECT and when he manages to put together an actual sentence you wouldnt believe he was esl

- by contrast Suga BREEZED through english classes, absolutely nailing the written, aural and reading portions but got <10% on his spoken exam because he's absolutely incomprehensible and cannot get his accent down

- Tsukishima and Yamaguchi get the highest grades in english out of all of Karasuno, but both of them inexplicably picked up a british accent (southern more, london area) and they refuse to admit that it's because of the sheer volume of Great British Bake-Off they've watched/had on in the background while doing homework.

- Noya and Tanaka both failed english their first year but realized if they convinced Suga and Daichi, separately, to tutor them, they could get a passing grade

- somehow Suga and Daichi have never considered helping each other

- Asahi is not the best at english but he is their english teacher's favourite

Shiratorizawa

- Ushijima obviously speaks with an american accent when speaking english bc he practices most often with his father (west coast american accent, then)

-as a result the whole of Shiratorizawa kinda does the same because of subconsciously trying to mimic Ushiwaka

- with the exception of Tendou (who ends up bastardizing his english with a french accent??? he ends up damn near a polyglot but is incomprehensible in every language)

- and semi, who ends up with a more british accent (from the north, though) due to the british guitar teacher he takes lessons from. the rest of shiratorizawa absolutely tear him apart for this but he doesnt even realize he's doing it and has picked up british slang (trolley, jumper, lift) when speaking english

- Stz's english program is Very Good but their professors are all very old and mean and as a result most of the team developes a deep hatred of studying english/going to language classes in general

Aoba Johsai

- I like to imagine Aoba Johsai has a really fantasic english teacher/program, but they partnered with an abroad exchange to do so and have a disproportionate about of New Zealanders and Aussies teaching

- So the third years are all pretty fantastic with their english but the other schools hear them speak and are like "that CANNOT be right" because they all have heavy kiwi accents that the others have never heard

- inexplicably Kyotani has a much more distinct North American accent (probably somewhere eastern, great lakes area) and he Will Not explain himself until he begrudingly admits that he's actually started learning english when he was really young from an American teacher and is VERY GOOD but has been intentionally throwing tests so that nobody would ask him to tutor them

- first/second years ask him to tutor them immediately upon learning this and he refuses

- Oikawa is irritatingly good at languages, and has to force Iwaizumi to study. Iwa is usually pretty good with keeping on top of school work but he just HATES conjugations and tenses and has no memory for it.

- once Oikawa realizes the other schools are making fun of their english accents/professors, he works out the dialects of thr other english countries and just switches between then depending on who he's speaking to. the rest of seijoh hates this because when he's not using the kiwi accent they cannot understand him.