#hes trying to be supportive and uplifting i think but hes bad at it

[visenyaism]

tyrannical king maegor dashboard simulator

🐉queen-visenya--outlives

Dowager Queen Visenya Targaryen has outlived her nephew the King Aenys I Targaryen. Her son King Maegor I Targaryen has returned to the capital to claim his father’s throne.

💫 sevensent Follow

crusty incest king died. FLOP!

💫 sevensent Follow

wait MAEGOR?

🥔 bowlofbrown

this job fucking sucks. finished my shift and i cant even clock out because i got lost underneath the site.

#dark as shit down here #never working construction again

💌 maidens-smile Follow

i literally cannot believe how many supporters of m*egor i see on my dashboard every day when he is literally flaying and torturing so many seven-blessed poor fellows just for practicing their religion and saying incest is bad??? he’s literally outside my city waiting to burn us all to death DNI if you support him

🪨 dragonstoner Follow

🐉 queen-visenya--outlives

Dowager Queen Visenya Targaryen has outlived the High Septon. He previously denounced King Maegor and his wives as “the abomination and his whores,” and passed shortly after Dowager Queen Visenya and King Maegor flew their dragons to the gates of Oldtown and threatened to burn the Starry Sept.

🪽 maegors-wins Follow

i for one think “the cruel” is a bit unfair given how he has done so much to uplift women’s voices and free us from religious tyranny like. named the first female heir in westerosi history? improving the infrastructure in king’s landing? decentralizing the power of the faith? he literally loves gay people so much he married three of them?

🦓 zorse-deactivated7849

op what does that eleven inch necromantic targaryen dick feel like because if you keep riding that hard I’m pretty sure it’ll rot off

🔮 tyanna

in seven days you will begin to cough

#twelve. btw

🐉 queen-visenya--outlives

Dowager Queen Visenya Targaryen has outlived her great-nephew Aegon Targaryen, henceforth to be known as “The Uncrowned.” Her son King Maegor I Targaryen has slain him and his dragon Quicksilver over the gods’ eye for trying to usurp his throne.

🌞 ullerihardlyknowher Follow

why is this always how i find out how do you know this before even cravings moste popular

#also what the fuck is going on up there

🪰 florian-and-jonquil-on-nymerias-ship Follow

guys the oversexualization of king maegor is so problematic and insane considering he’s not only shy and married as a 13 year old but also is literally neurodivergent (has CTE)

🤲 aegonfort-top

🤲 aegonfort-top

lost my left hand for posting this

#it was kind of hot though

🗣️ towerstower Follow

was not into targaryen rule at all but if we are going to do it it’s kind of fun that we are being ruled by a super powered animated blood corpse and his circle of freaky bisexual witches and also his mommy instead of like. a normie who also fucks his sister

🫀 imasharpknife Follow

seven hells you people would fuck a k*nslayer if they had valyrian silver hair

🐦‍⬛ raventooth Follow

during these trying times when our king is accused of depravity and tyrannies abound throughout the land we must remember the most important truth: the brackens are still a people spawned from the lowest of the seven hells

🐎 brackennation

KILL YOURSELF. Lord Gonzo Tully himself AS YOU KNOW literallyyyyyy gave us the right to move the boundary stones over the tributary. but i wouldn’t expect a blackwood to acknowledge basic laws and rights you’re just too busy doing blood sacrifices to your nasty heathen tree god.

🐦‍⬛ raventooth Follow

as soon as i figure out why balerion is overhead rn im coming over to kill you. btw

🐎 brackennation

wait looks like he’s headed towards harrentown

🐦‍⬛ raventooth Follow

oh cool. KILL YOURSELF

💐 floriansfool36 Follow

hi guys!!! sorry i’m a sennight late posting this, my brother got killed and then one of my other brothers got tortured to death and then my great-aunt died and i ended up having to flee dragonstone for storm’s end and it was kind of scary lol. anyways here’s the update as promised!!!

🌟 maidensgrace Follow

i wish Balerion did get you RPF is literally soooooo problematic. look to your sins op

#daenys the dreamer and nymeria weren’t even alive at the same time????

❤️ lanadelrhaena

i think you did a great job. glad you’re safe xx

💐 floriansfool36 Follow

YOU HAVE INTERNET IN THE KEEP???? HIIIII

[beggars-opera]

Hey, so we don't talk enough about A Christmas Carol as being at least a little bit about not continuing a cycle of abuse and neglect, both against others and yourself.

In the book little Scrooge is left languishing over the holidays in a boarding school for some never-explained reason, but it is made very clear that this is miserable and unfair, and that his father is doing this on purpose. His sister specifically comes to tell him that "father is so much kinder now than he used to be, that home's like heaven." This also reflects a bit of Dickens's own childhood when his father went into debtor's prison and little Charlie was forced to support his family working full time in a shoe-blacking factory at the age of 12 (which is also why so many of his books seem to have a moral of "hey, kids are people too and maybe we shouldn't make them work in the mines.")

Whatever family reunion happened after didn't work out, because Scrooge continues believing that no one is coming to save him and pulling himself up by his bootstraps at the detriment of all other social relationships is the only way forward. And the more he lives by that philosophy, the more miserable he gets, because obviously he pushes away anyone who has that hope that he lost. They threaten to break down the walls he's built and teach him that a big pile of money doesn't have to be the only thing that he can rely on, if he'd just let himself be vulnerable and have a relationship with people who care about him, because they're out there even if he's ignoring them.

There is a certain type of person still very much out there who thinks this way. "I've never been happy in my life, so no one else has a right to be either. I was abused in my childhood so it's only fair that everyone else suffer as well." We see this in parents who still try to use corporal punishment, and in wealthy people who ignore the social factors keeping others down and scream that everyone else is just entitled, that only those who suffer and scrape deserve happiness. And they especially hate the people like Fred who represent the past that could have been, who have maintained hope for the future, and seem to be rubbing their optimism in your face, when in reality they're just maintaining hope because it's the only way you can survive.

It's so important for Scrooge to actually see the impact this thinking has on both himself and multiple generations. Rich people have this weird hangup about this story because they think Scrooge is bad because he's rich. He's not, he's bad because he's a horrible person and a miser - he doesn't use his money to better anything, including himself. Salting the earth, everyone suffers here, including him. And he learns that he's going to die old and alone without ever having spent or enjoyed his money, and that his family feels sorry for him, and that the nameless masses of poor people out there that he decries so much are in fact living, breathing people, including tiny disabled kids who don't deserve to suffer just because you decided life isn't fair.

In the end he takes responsibility for actually uplifting the people in the next generation who are trying to make the world a better place and no longer punching down, because it doesn't have to be this way. So many people out there just give up hope because things are hard and they think trying to improve things is a pointless exercise that makes them look dumb. How dare you grow a year older and not an hour richer! How dare you marry for love! That's the only thing more ridiculous than a Merry Christmas! When in reality, there are plenty of people who would love to see them happy if they just had a chance.

It's really sad that, while the language used to describe it has changed, these problems still persist. That people feel so wronged and isolated that they spend their days ensuring everyone else will be as well. That they fail to see their fellow humans as fellow humans who are just as deserving of love and kindness and a roof over their heads. I don't care what time of year it is, we should all be lifting each other up rather than tearing each other down.

[rosemarie333]

Astro Observations/Opinions (Vedic Edition) Part Two

Hello Guys! Thank you for the support of my first observation🫶🏾! I APPRECIATE YOU ALL

As an fyi I am not well versed in Vedic too much yet, but I am getting better and better sooo without further do, LETS START HEHE😋

These are based on my perspective of placements and signs, so take what resonates and leave what doesn’t🫶🏾 I’d love to hear y’all’s take as well!

1. People with sun nakshatras in their big 3 can be super prideful when it comes down to it. LOL i mentioned in my last post that they can be egoistic, and that’s true but when they are wrong they’re PRIDE HAS NOOO MATCHES. i’m a kritikka sun so i can admit when i’m wrong it be a HIT to my ego but i do my best to apologize. Buttt one thing about a sun ruled person is that THEY LOOK SOO GLAZED IN THE SUN like summer is y’all’s best friend because y’all were born sun kissed.

2. Although I am an ashlesha moon, i can COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND why people don’t want to be around us when we’re at our worst (this goes for mercurial people in general imo ( ESPECIALLY jyeshthas and ashleshas but revatis ehhhh it’s a 50/50 chance lol even tho they can be very emotionally immature at times). Like i have an ashlesha sun brother and he is so fucking provoking like he does it for a sport and he’s comfortable uplifting people then shooting them down. He can be very sweet and caring but sometimes his aggression and his bad behavior really does overshadow his good behavior and it’s hard to be around someone who doesn’t give a shit if everyone is on edge around them (lol i have mercury in the 8th house in ashwini so power struggles with siblings is very prevalent ugh). Women can be just as negative and it’s like they get a kick out of it because like i’ve said in a previous post they go off on others and tbh it gives them fuel and a short feeling of superiority because they feel inferior (i keep saying they as if i don’t have an ashlesha moon but tbh i understand).

3. Chitra PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING CREATIVE OMGGGF i’m sooo jealous. like they’re ability to create something out of thin air is FUCKING impeccable. they also have great magnetism and people flock to them easily like dhanisthas. For instance , DOJA CAT omgggg great magnetism (rahu in the 1st gives that hella) and she’s super fucking creative like she writes the majority of songs herself and can produce music like as an aspiring lawyer who’s very interested in singing and songwriting BABES SHE IS one of my inspirations (i also love how weird her music can be). i know the star rules creativity but damn i wish i had it.

4. I’m tired of rahuvians looking like this exact emojis 👁️👄👁️. Like y’all’s eyes POP and like i be feeling like y’all staring at my soul like calm down. I also love how you guys rock eye makeup esp when it makes your eyes look bigger likeeeeeeeee. Speaking of rahuvians, why are ardras lowkey vindictive LMAO like y’all def have a streak of vindictive behavior in y’all.

5. Hasta women, please consider getting a hand tattoo. Y’all loook so fucking fye with a henna hand tattoo or even an actual one (rihanna is a good example but i don’t think she has a hasta placement, but ariana grande has a hasta moon and she has hand tats and they look bomb asf) Like hasta rules the hands and although y’all can be conservative babes TRY IT!

6. jupiter in the 1st house in hasta🫱🏻‍🫲🏿 weight fluctuating real bad esp since it’s in a moon nakshatra like😭i used to be so skinny and now i gained so much weight but tbh i ain’t complaining too much because it fits my body nicely 😏.

7. Having a Sun, Venus, and even Jupiter AK (atmakaraka) is such a flex like😭. Being very confident and self assured with a Sun Ak, Venus AK having that PRETTY PRIVILEGE AS YALL SHOULD!!!, and a Jupiter Ak being hella lucky and the world working in ur favor issss super niceee like i’m jealous (i know your full chart matters on whether these will work in your favor but even with these I feel like y’all were born to be a bad bitch). I feel like having these as a DK (darakaraka) is a flex too tbh. On the topic of AK’s, tbh Saturn atmakaraka is one of the most prevalent in very famous stars (Marilyn Monroe, Aaliyah, Lana Del Ray, Whitney Houston, Doja Cat, Selena Quintanilla). I’m addition, having this AK is pretty saddening because of lot of the people who have this (your chart also plays a part but as something i noticed and others have as well) usually have a hard time in life (Britney Spears, Marylin Monroe, Whitney Houston, Aaliyah). It’s a damned if you damned if you don’t AK butttt just because you have it doesn’t NOT mean one bit it’s doom and gloom because it’s not it is very cool to have this AK (EVEN THO SATURN IS A HARSH ASS MF lol i have a saturn ak 😩)

8. Ketu in the 1st house🫱🏻‍🫲🏿maladaptive daydreaming and very pretty eyes (looks like they are sleep deprived LMAO but it’s very cute imo)

That is all! I didn’t include venus or jupiter observations as I really don’t know a lot of them, but imma do more research and would love to hear what observations you have!

[kroosluvr]

yay!!!!!!!

typo that im too lazy to fix: on the last page, "kasumi was one of the best gymnasts [in japan]"

edit: BRO I IDDNT REALIZE AKIRA ND SUMIRE WERE SHARING A SPOON TO EAT THE CURRY AM I INSANEEEEE <- She literally drew this image

1st 2 pics are genderbent akira+goro as well as sumire, 3rd pic is canon akira and sumire

in my head m!sumire is dedicated to rhythmic gymnastics, but the fact that it's not a popular sport somehow causes a mental block for him: kasumi was a trailblazer in men's rhythmic gymnastics. he was setting the course, but now he's gone. so does sumire live up to that? does he have to fill his brother's shoes? or can he just strive to be the best rhythmic gymnast he himself can be?

he was always solemn and driven growing up, but after the accident, he drove himself further into his practices and routines in an attempt to "recapture the spark" that kasumi had. of course, this is mostly in vain... chasing his shadow doesn't get him anywhere

he slowly develops the cognition of "sumire" being "kasumi's replacement." the younger brother that stepped up to the plate. to attend to his anxiety/depression he goes to dr. maruki (i'd say this takes longer than in canon, because he was always so busy with practice that he didn't really. comprehend 'oh perhaps i need counseling after my brother died' LMAO. and even then it's more "ok im gonna start competing internationally, so i need to make sure my mental is in tiptop shape"

he starts to reveal his insecurities to dr. maruki who. yknow. does all that. i don't think this sumire would specifically say "i wish i was kasumi" but more "i want to continue his legacy the way only he could have done it" which dr. maruki himself takes as "ok so u want to literally be kasumi"

i'd also say his "transformation" into "kasumi" is more jarring than in canon? canon "kasumi" is polite, eager, cheerful and sunny, but i imagine m!"kasumi" to be more boisterous, more outwardly outgoing/extroverted/outspoken, a little bit of a daredevil

on top of that, i think (perhaps) since men's rhythmic gymnastics isn't super popular, maybe not many ppl have heard of "kasumi yoshizawa" to begin with? so maybe ppl accept him as "kasumi" a little easier, which is. um. bad LOL

not sure if this helps his gymnastics at all. i thinkkk it does give him the confidence to execute more complicated routines that sumire himself didn't have the self-confidence to try before. but, of course, this doesn't affect anything in the rhythmic gymnastics world since. erm. everyone knows kasumi died. awkward!!!!

i think the shame would be all-encompassing when he breaks out of the delusion. he never wanted this.... all he wants is to keep competing with his brother, to keep supporting him into the limelight, and he'll never have that again. so i think, like canon, his arc is learning how to support and uplift Himself -- but more like, become more self-sufficient in terms of his own gymnastics instead of always seeing himself as second place to kasumi (and being okay with that)

it's different than canon as kasumi always told sumire they'd take the world stage... TOGETHER! ->

while i think for m!kasumi and m!sumire they worked in tandem, it was never really a dream. kasumi simply decided "i want to do this" and so did sumire. the thing is, kasumi's skills just far outweighed sumire's, and that much was painfully clear to him. kasumi was one who could bring men's rhythmic gymnastics into the international lens, and sumire has no idea if he could ever be strong enough to do that.

there's an interesting sort of dissonance here....... like. big fish small pond (genderbend au) or small fish big pond (canonverse.) i think its interesting.. okay enough rambles from me its 4am sdjsdjfh

edit: last thing i think. in canon it’s heavily implied that kasumi took the reins and pushed sumire to do stuff / pick out clothes for them both / kinda set the stage for both of them but i think in gb au sumire just follows kasumi as a result of kasumi being such a bright light. sumire has ambitions the same way kasumi does but he lacks the self-esteem to back it up…. it’s similar in canon but not 1:1 if that makes sense? i think in canon sumire is still questioning if it’s even her dream to compete in gymnastics so that’s the main diff

[purple-obsidian]

miscommunication; option 1 (18+, dick grayson x fem titan reader)

⭓ !PLEASE READ! this is part of a choose-your-ending story. it will not make sense unless you start from here.

"No! Dick, please!" You stand from your chair, cloth napkin falling to the floor, watching him stalk past you towards the exit of the restaurant, anxiety filling your stomach with dread.

You feel frozen in place, watching him leave and disappear through the front doors of the nice restaurant. The older couple seated at the table next to you watch curiously, and you suddenly feel very aware of all the eyes on you.

Your heart feels heavy. You don’t call a cab. You can’t bring yourself to.

He probably hates me now, I can’t believe he really likes me and I just blew it.

You decide to walk home, ignoring the rumble of thunder booming overhead as you hastily exit the restaurant, before you can hear anyone else whisper about you and the scene you just caused. The rain starts just a minute or so into your long trek home.

You want to call him, but part of you thinks it may be best to wait until the morning. He didn’t seem receptive to an explanation right now, anyways. Your mind goes over the events of this evening again, through a new lense. You tear up when you remember how sweet he was. Picking you up, bringing you flowers, getting the door for you, taking you out for Italian, which he knows is your favorite. Wallowing in self-loathing and regret, you barely pay attention as your feet stomp over the discarded trash and cigarette butts that litter the dirty sidewalks of Gotham.

The rain gets heavier, soaking your clothes and chilling you to your core. People are rushing inside, getting umbrellas and trying to stay dry. Still several blocks from your apartment, you let the cold consume you. You wonder how long he’s felt like this for. His angry words echo in your mind, making you feel even more awful about yourself.

‘I really wanted this to be a chance for us to get better acquainted outside of work. I wanted to get to know you better.’

‘I thought we had chemistry. Real chemistry.’

You honestly had no idea he was interested in you. Dicks kind of a flirt, but he’s like that with everyone, for the most part. Outgoing, friendly, quick to compliment and always uplifting those around him. You try to think about your interactions with him since joining the titans. Has he really treated you any differently than Donna? Or Raven?

Hugging your arms to your body, you decide you’ll try and call him when you get home, hoping your phone isn’t too messed up from the rain water.

-————-//-————-

“So… How did it go last night?” Donna asks, a smug smile adorning her kind face.

“Don’t wanna talk about it.” Dick grumbles.

Donna frowns, walking over to where Dick is sitting, his blue eyes glued on the computer screen in front of him. “That bad, huh?” She puts her hand on his shoulder, gently squeezing in a show of support. “Well, don’t worry. As soon as Wally gets here, the three of us can go get some lunch and talk about it.”

“I literally just said I don’t want to talk about it.” He retorts, shrugging her hand away.

“Don’t want to talk about what?”

A rush of air hits Dicks face and ruffles some loose papers on the table next to him. Dick shifts to look over at Wally, who somehow always manages to be late, despite his abilities.

Donna curses under her breath and fixes her hair that was disturbed by their friend’s abrupt arrival. “Good morning, Wally.” She says sarcastically. “Nice of you to join us.”

The speedster takes a seat on Dicks sofa, kicking his feet up in the coffee table and making himself at home. “You know I’ll never pass up on plans that involve food. But- fill me in, what did I miss?”

Dick chooses to ignore his friend, and focuses on saving his open files so he can shut down his PC.

“Well, someone finally asked a certain someone else out on a date.” Donna explains. She takes a seat next to Wally, still finger-brushing her hair. “But apparently it didn’t go too well.”

“Aww, shit. That’s rough, man. You've been wanting to ask her out for a while. When did this happen?” Wally asks.

“Last night.” Dick mutters under his breath.

Wally cocks his head in confusion. “I thought you and her were going on a mission last night. Some stakeout or something.”

“Why would you think that?” Dick closes his laptop, swiveling his desk chair so he's facing his friends.

“She told me. Said you two had work to do, that was two days ago, I called her to ask about Gar's food allergies. She brought it up then, I’m sure of it.”

“Hm.” Dick scratches the back of his neck, the pieces finally falling into place. “…fuck.”

"Yeah! Turns out, he's not allergic to shit. He just chooses not to eat meat. Which, hey, I mean, fair enough, right? But why does he insist of having his food cooked completely separate, a little cross contamination never hurt anyone..."

“Diiiick…..” Donna draws out his name in warning. “How did you ask her out? What did you say, exactly?”

“Over text.” Dick anxiously unlocks his phone, hastily pulling up his last text conversation with you.

Donna holds out her hand expectantly, and Dick begrudgingly hands it over. The amazon’s eyes quickly read through the message history. “Dick, you know how she is, you have to be more clear with her. She totally thought you were asking for her help with a mission.”

“What?” He grabs his phone back, and re-reads it for himself. “What are you talking about? I even said ‘it’s a date’. Look, right there!”

“Yeeeeeaah, I’m with Donna on this one.” Wally chimes in. “You say that all the time, Dick. You’re a flirt. How was she supposed to know?”

Dick glances between his best friends, a look of exasperation in his face. “Oh, come on! You can’t seriously read that conversation and tell me I was not crystal clear with my intentions!”

“Maybe not, but you know how clueless she can be sometimes.” Wally argues, relaxing back into the couch. “Remember a few weeks ago? At the bar? That one guy with the hat was flirting with her all night and it went right over her head.”

Dick groans, holding his head in his hands. “Fuck, I need to go talk to her.”

“Yeah, you do.” Donna agrees sympathetically.

“Does this mean no lunch?” Wally asks, visibly deflating in disappointment at the change in plans.

Dick taps on your contact photo in his phone to call you. He tugs his jacket on, cursing again when it goes straight to voicemail.

-————-//-————-

A familiar knock on your door startles you, causing you to jump a little. You were on your computer, trying to make an appointment with your cell phone provider to see if they can fix your waterlogged phone that's buried in a bowl of rice next to you.

You look in the peephole of the old wooden door just to be sure, and your stomach does a flip when you confirm that it’s Dick again.

“Hey. I’m glad you’re here.” You open your door wide for him, your heart hammering in your chest, hoping he’s willing to hear you out. “Come in.”

Dick says your name, closing the door behind him, and reaching for your hand. “I owe you an apology.”

The sincerity of his tone eases a bit of the nervousness you’re feeling. “Yeah, me too.” Squeezing his hand a little, you look down at the floor, trying to find the right words to say. “Dick, I’m an idiot. I realize that now. I thought you were asking me out to help with Titans business, I didn’t even realize-“

“I know.” His voice is pained and apologetic, reflected also in his expression.

“I probably sounded so shallow, when I said I was up for an all-nighter, I didn’t mean-“

“I know.” He says again, entwining his fingers with your own. “I’m at fault here too. I never should have asked you out via text. Too much room for misinterpretation. I was so nervous for our date, I wanted everything to be perfect, and... I’m not proud about how I behaved. I shouldn't have left you there alone. I’m sorry.”

You let out a relieved sigh, closing your eyes and shaking your head. “Dick, I have so much respect for you. And I enjoy your company, I really do. But I legitimately thought we were there to meet someone or follow a person of interest. If I would have known-”

“Then let’s start over.” He smiles down at you, tilting your chin up with his finger so his ocean blue eyes can stare into yours. “I like you. A lot. I want to take you out. A romantic evening, just you and me. So we can get to know each other better. How does that sound?”

“That sounds wonderful.” Your voice is quiet, but the excitement in your eyes makes Dick’s heart soar. Its the look he was hoping to see last night. “I’d really like that, Dick. I promise I’m into this, into you, and not just because you’re hot.”

He chuckles, letting his hand fall to cup your neck. “For the record, I’m not opposed to pulling an all-nighter with you.” His hand feels warm against your neck, and you feel that fluttering sensation in your stomach again. “I just… I think there’s something more here. Don’t you?”

You answer him with a nod, keeping your eyes on his. “Yeah, I do.”

Your heart beats faster, seeing him lean in slowly, his face gets closer and closer to your own. You let your eyes flutter shut and lean forward to meet his lips in a slow kiss. His touch feels electric, sending goosebumps up and down your spine. You release his hand and go on your tiptoes so you can snake your arms around his neck. His own hands find your waist, pulling you closer while his mouth moves against your soft lips.

After a minute or so, lightheaded from both lack of air and excitement, you break off the kiss and look up at him, trying to keep yourself from smiling too much. "I'm so glad you don't hate me. I thought I really fucked this up."

Dick caresses your cheek and laughs under his breath. "Well, you can be a little dense at times. But I'm glad we could clear the air. I tried to call you earlier-"

"Oh, yeah. My phone got wet. It was raining pretty hard last night."

You gesture towards your coffee table, where your phone is barely visible in the glass bowl of dry rice.

"Please don't tell me you walked home all alone." Dick sounds disappointed, searching your face for confirmation.

"Okay... I won't tell you, then."

"You're stubborn as hell, you know that?"

Dick notices a sparkle in your eyes as you reply, his arms keeping your body pressed against his. "Dense, stubborn, and yet... you still want to take me on a date."

"Yeah," He says back in agreement. "I do."

⭓ go back ⭓ masterlist ⭓

which ending did you choose first? let me know here, or leave a like/comment.

don’t steal my work. don’t repost it somewhere, upload it to another site, use it to train ai, or claim it as your own.

[vaguely-concerned]

listen I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore but on this playthrough of DA2 I found myself once more entranced and heartbroken to see hawke reenact their relationship with their mother with the entire cursed city of kirkwall. you can never do enough for leandra, and you can never do enough for kirkwall. leandra is proud of you, and kirkwall uplifts its champion, but no matter how hard you try for them you can't fix everything there that's broken, no one could, and even the fact that anyone would feel the burning responsibility to take that task on is a huge warning sign on its own. leandra will easily allow you to sacrifice yourself on the altar of the family's continued well-being again and again, even when she'll beg you to spare the twins from the same thing. it's such a sad, painfully realistic thing because I truly don't think leandra meant to fuck up her kids, and yet she primed her oldest for an abusive toxic codependent relationship with an entire ongoing dumpster fire of a city state better than she ever could have if she had meant to.

I think what leandra actually, deep down wants from you is something you can never ever give her and that is cruel to ask of anyone, but especially your kid -- to bring her back to a time when she was happy. to reclaim when you were all happy, when nothing was broken that couldn't be fixed, before malcolm died, before you had to leave behind bethany or carver's broken body on the ground. to get her childhood back from where she left it and found it all gone and in ruins when she returned. 'this is all your fault'. this is the tragedy of parenthood sometimes I think, that capacity to define a life: she said that once, in a moment of profound pain, and she probably wouldn't have said it under other circumstances and she apologizes later, but now hawke has to live with that forever. leandra can't bear her own emotions without letting them spill over onto someone else so she won't have to hold the discomfort of them anymore, and hawke is left to shoulder that burden and responsibility again and again, handed the impossible task of making it all okay again, somehow -- of stopping anything bad from ever happening again in the Nr 1 Bad Things Constantly Happening capital of thedas.

and then at the same time there's the mirror of how varric's whole family wants orzammar back (and to him orzammar is just a ghost he's seen in their eyes -- there's something in his voice when he says 'That stupid plate was the whole city of Orzammar to him' that gets me every time, how much he understands that he doesn't understand and how lonely that makes him among them, and on top of it all he's frustrated and ashamed and sad that he just doesn't get it and can't meet them on it -- like it's a betrayal that he actually belongs up here, when varric wants so badly to be loyal), just as the hawkes want happiness back. (I don't think it's Lothering in itself that longing is for, it's for being together. Lothering was just the place they stayed the longest.) they're all in exile, even as they try to make a new home out of that exile.

(varric and hawke's real 🤝 quality across all personalities, affinities and choices is 'parentified child' lmao. so much of varric's character makes perfect sense once you know he grew up supporting a mother who was an emotionally volatile alcoholic, honestly. between varric, the hawkes, isabela, seb if you have him and merrill's whole Situation with marethari I feel like DA2 covertly is to mommy issues what ME2 is to daddy issues fjsdjfa)

basically I think I'm trying to pick apart exactly why the fact that leandra is clearly proud of hawke and tells them so several times doesn't feel like it helps at all, almost feels more like a cage even though it's clearly meant well? and what I'm getting is that it's because my sense of what hawke actually needs, in general but especially from a parent, isn't admiration or approval but to be loved and supported and understood. I don't believe leandra ever quite understands them, and it scares her because it makes her think she maybe never even understood malcolm. (that's the subtext of a lot of what leandra will say about him in legacy, at least. he's slipping away from her as the years pass after his death and she fears she never really had him in the first place, if he had secrets like these.) she consistently treats her oldest more like a partner or peer than as her child, which considering hawke is always described as being very similar to their father… I mean I totally see how that could be easy to slip into for her after he died especially, but it doesn't make it any less fucked up or unfair.

the real leandra in legacy is. she is SO absurdly self-centered, if you really pay attention. I don't want to keep dunking on her because I don't think she's like this on purpose, but it boggles my mind. if you do the quest in act 1 she gets so upset and overwhelmed that the kids just sort of sit there like :( at the end, which adds to the trend that through the game you constantly see hawke comforting leandra, and you pretty much never see leandra comforting hawke, beyond some light vaguely encouraging comments in passing. if you do legacy in act 2 while she's still alive hawke comes to her, tentatively asking if malcolm ever spoke to her about any of it -- clearly requesting some sort of emotional support or help to make sense of it. she then expresses her side of it, but never once does she say anything to the effect of 'hey that was a lot to go through, are you okay after all that?'.

instead she essentially hands them the responsibility of having a good life, to repay what malcolm did for all of them. and in theory that's not the worst takeaway I suppose, malcolm probably would want them all to be happy, but in the moment it only feels like more expectation heaped upon you somehow? especially since you don't really get to express anything about how it made you feel before she goes to the 'ah no use complaining' zone (after SHE got to express her grief at feeling like she's losing more and more of that old life, and hawke barely got to say anything fhsfalkjfs). in general she really doesn't do much like. parenting, does she haha. there is so much love there in that relationship, and yet so little comfort. Oh, those days. All of us, in that simple place. Well, that's neither here nor there, is it. This life, we have to make the best of it. And thanks to you, and him, I will. Oh well, mum, I'm uh. I'm glad you feel better after that, at least. Nice to be of service.

it's varric's ghost-leandra who actually acknowledges what a burden hawke has taken on, that shows an understanding of why they're doing it, acknowledges the loss they've been through and also reassures them in their sense of belonging that still can't be taken from them, despite it all -- The best of him is still with you. The best of all of us. It's what makes you try so hard. You'll always have that. We'll always be family. (you can't take 'loved' away, huh.) you get a bit more of a reconciliation/reconnection between hawke and their dad's memory by being reminded he got like this too, you know (implicitly you're not alone). varric through leandra is the one who tells them what they probably would have wanted and needed to hear from a parent right then -- It's going to be alright. that's what Hawke, The Champion means to everyone else, and for once they get to be the one to hear it. except only in a kind dream that never really happened. I. it. hmmmmmm. crushing. that is crushing. but also so incredibly tender from varric's side, and so moving to me that he's seen all this stuff and so desperately wants to give them that comfort. anyway DA2 is about love in some of the realest and thus messiest and most human ways I've ever seen and it makes my brain go wild it's my favorite game of all time goodnight

[inbarfink]

I mean, the thing is that fiction about aliens is almost always going to be about some sort of Other on some level. Whatever it’s about demonizing or fear-mongering about some sort of Outsider Group or trying to get the audience to sympathize with the Other via the metaphor of a lovable alien. 

And Invader Zim is kind of an interesting spot there because, like, it’s not just ‘Bad Outsider Out to Destroy Our Beloved In-Group’ or ‘Poor Sympathetic Outsider Being Put-Down by the In-Group’. First thing first because Zim is kinda both. He is both the Outsider secretly hiding inside the in-group plotting their destruction - but the narrative and framing also sympathizes with him and supports his view of the in-group (that humans are stupid and gross).

So he can’t really be A Scary Demonized Outsider when he gets so much narrative sympathy and support, but also… he is a murderous little world-conquering bastard and most of his suffering is generally just him gets exactly what he deserves so he can’t be your classic sort of Sympathetic Outsider either. 

And the other thing is that the in-group is not even really involved in Zim’s conflict. Zim’s biggest challenge in conquering the earth is Dib, another Outsider. Often, despite being a human and thus part of the literal in-group, Dib is an even bigger Outsider to humanity than Zim is.

Zim and Dib are both Outsiders, and Zim isn’t just an Outsider as an Alien on Earth - among his own people he is in the same situation as Dib is, an Outsider in his own in-group. (Not that he can ever admit to himself that is the case). So these two Weirdos are fighting to protect/further the goals of two in-groups that will never actually accept them. 

And so often their main weapon against each other and the primary danger and the source of their suffering for themselves is the same thing; the in-group conformity and enforcement of social norms. 

Dib’s main evidence that Zim is an Alien is, most of the time, just the fact that he looks and acts weird. But also he himself is constantly bullied for looking and acting weird.

And Zim’s most constant source of anxiety while undercover on Earth is the fact that he’s going to get caught being Too Weird and then not just fail his mission, but get brutally dissected and experimented on. But his best defense against being exposed is… basically just to point out just how much Dib also Diverges From the Norm.

It’s the story of two Weirdos trying to get the other punished for being weird in some way, while the Normies just kinda look on and laugh at them both. And the actual thing they want, recognition and acceptance from their in-group is the one thing they are doomed to never actually get. 

And honestly, I think that's actually what makes a lot of real-life Outsiders cling to IZ, especially while we’re teens. I think, in a way, the fact that it’s kind of a messy Outsider narrative makes it more relatable to the messy middle-school/high-school experience than something more neatly crafted to be uplifting to the Weird Kids.

I mean, I certainly see the obvious value in fiction that’s actually trying to create a positive narrative for queer teens or autistic kids or maybe just scene kids or any combination of the following. This sort of media is very good, and can be just as important to some folks.

But... also the truth is that when you’re an edgy teen wrecked with self-loathing for Weirdness you don’t even fully understand “There’s nothing wrong with me and all the people making me feel like they are Bad!” can be a hard message to really believe in. Sometimes it’s easier to start from “Maybe I am all the terrible things people say that I am but.. still deserve love and sympathy, I can still be the hero of the story”. 

And because, sadly, the problem of Weirdos attacking each other for being Weirdos using the same rhetoric that’s used to hurt them, just for the sake of approval and recognition from in-groups that are never going to treat either of them as nothing but a joke - is not a phenomenon exclusive to the Silly Alien Invader Nicktoon.

And Dib and Zim’s rivalry is a great basic framework to explore it both in analysis of the canon and in fanworks.

[many-shades-of-violence]

how they'd comfort you

✢ pairing: Duwang Gang (Josuke, Okoyasu, Koichi, Rohan, Jotaro) x Reader

✢ contents: how the gang would comfort you in their own way

Josuke

"If you're feeling down, just remember that you're not alone. We all go through tough times, but I know you have the strength to get through it. And hey, if you need someone to lend a hand or an ear, I'll be there for you. You're my friend after all.”

-Josuke is naturally friendly and approachable, so I think he would create a comfortable and safe atmosphere for you person to express your feelings.

- Would actively listen to your concerns and feelings without interrupting, showing genuine interest in what you have to say. He would also validate your emotions and let you know that your feelings are understood.

- Josuke would definitely perform small acts of kindness or use his Stand to help improve your surroundings, creating a positive and uplifting environment.

- While Josuke is compassionate, he can also be pretty practical. He might offer actionable advice or suggestions to help you cope with their emotions and work through their difficulties, so be ready to put some work in your emotional baggage. -Josuke has a playful and goofy side, and he might try to lighten the mood by cracking a joke or sharing a funny story. There might even be a hug, a pat on the back, or simply lend his shoulder depending on your relationship and your boundaries.

Okuyasu

"Don't beat yourself up too much. We all make mistakes and have our moments of weakness. But you're a good person, I can just feel that. I've got your belly, and together, we'll make it through anything."

-Okuyasu would offer his presence as a calming and reassuring point, letting you know that he's there to support you.

- He is pretty honest and straightforward, so he might express his concern directly. Would listen attentively to your worries and feelings, allowing you to express themselves without judgment.

- Okuyasu might use simple yet sincere words to provide you comfort. Please excuse, he can be a bit aloof at times.

- Despite all that, he might share his own experiences of overcoming challenges or difficult times to show that he understands what you're going through.

- Might offer a supportive gesture like a friendly pat on the back, a reassuring hand on the shoulder or offering a snack. - Would definitely hype you up and remind you of your strengths and encouraging you to keep going.

Koichi

"You're going through a tough time right now, right? Remember, it's okay to feel the way you're feeling. You're not alone in this.”

- Koichi has a calm and soft-spoken demeanor, which would create a soothing atmosphere for you.

- He would listen carefully and attentively to your troubles.

- Koichi would express empathy by acknowledging your emotions and letting you know that he understands how you feel.

- He might share his own moments of vulnerability and personal struggles to create a sense of connection and show that everyone goes through difficult times. (*looks over to Yukako*)

- Koichi is known for his encouraging and motivational speeches. He would likely offer words of encouragement to boost your spirits and confidence.

-  He might perform small acts of kindness to show his support, such as bringing a comforting beverage or offering to spend time together doing something enjoyable.

- Koichi will help you recognize your own worth and help you see yourselves in a more positive light.

- However, he would be mindful of your boundaries and comfort level, ensuring that he doesn't push too hard or intrude on your space.

Jotaro

“Listen, I get it. Life throws some heavy stuff at us sometimes. But you've got to remember, you're tougher than you think. No matter how bad things seem, you've got the power to push through. Take a deep breath, focus on what you can control, and tackle your problems head-on.”

- I feel that Jotaro's calm demeanor would provide a stabilizing influence, you feel more at ease.

- He would likely address your emotions directly once they're out in the open, acknowledging your feelings and showing his genuine concern.

- Jotaro might provide practical solutions or advice on how to address the source of the person's distress, focusing on actions you can take to improve the situation.

- This guy will definitely highlight his own determination and persistence in the face of adversity, inspiring you to adopt a similar mindset.

-Jotaro might offer a reassuring pat on the shoulder or a subtle gesture to show that he's there for you, even if he doesn't like to express his emotions verbally that much.

-Would assure you that he's there for you and will support you in any way he can, even if his approach is more understated.

- Despite his reserved nature, Jotaro would listen attentively to your concerns and give you the space to express yourselves.

- Since he´s very smart, he could help you analyze the situation and think through possible solutions with you, if that's in your boundaries.

Rohan

“Well, well, well, it seems you've found yourself in quite the predicament, haven't you? But let me tell you, challenges like this are what shape us, what make us who we are. Embrace the discomfort, the uncertainty. It's a goldmine for inspiration and growth.” -Rohan would likely use his observational skills to understand your feelings and emotions. He might pay close attention to your body language, expressions, and actions to gain insight into what you're experiencing. -Rohan is known for being straightforward, honest and sometimes quite of an ass, so he would likely address your emotions head-on, without much care for your ego.

-Heaven's Gate allows him to delve into people's memories and emotions. If you're up for it, he might use his stand to help you see the situation from a different angle, or even overwrite it completely. With your full consent only, that is.

-He´s a talented manga artist, so he might use his artistic skills to create a piece to lift your spirit.

-While our pretty boy can be blunt, he also has moments of understanding. He might gently encourage you to confront your emotions and work through them, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and growth.

-Despite his eccentric personality, Rohan would likely respect your boundaries and not push them too far if you're not ready to open up or accept comfort.

[koolades-world]

Can you do Obey Me headcanons of a Christian MC? MC isn't a toxic one though, they're actually super nice and supportive of everyone and such. They're also generally really trusting and try and see the best in people. They're more or less just extremely concerned and slightly uncomfortable with the entire being kidnapped and brought to hell thing(and also being forced to attend school again)

They also got really excited when they learned angels were gonna be attending RAD too, so there's that lol

Like when they saw Simeon and Luke for the first time they mentally went "THIS IS A MOMENT IN HISTORY!!!! TAKE A PICTURE!!!"

haha hi!!

when I first saw this I was really looking forward to doing it! been thinking about it a lot

one of my best friends is actually a christian who plays obey me, and she was the one to introduce me to the game. I think she would find this funny, so I'll def be thinking of her while I write this haha (if you're reading this, which you very much might be, heyyyy happy late bday girl)

Christian Mc

Lucifer

once you realize who he is, you're freaked out, both in a good and bad way

like, this is the lucifer! you ask to take a picture lol (and he's not amused)

you're a little sad and relieved when he pawns you off to mammon, since you're awed by his presence but also terrified since you knew the part he played in the bible by heart

once you get to know him, the both of you chuckle about human depictions of him and you finally get that picture! be sure to make him sign it and then frame it

Mammon

learns quickly just how many copies of the bible you own once he spends enough time in your room including but not limited to the version on your phone, the mini version in your RAD bag, and the one you keep on your side table

once you get to the stage of basically living together, he learns that you read the bible and say a prayer nightly

at first, he was nervous having to be the one to guide you but he learnt you were probably more scared of him, and you were actually just so sweet

he jokingly picks up all of the jesus merch he finds so now you have an entire shelf

Levi

the most normal out of the brothers besides the fact that he spends all his time in his room, but that kind of reminds you of a brother you only see like once a day

it's almost scary and a little jarring walking into his room, but after that, you guys get along so well

he admits that he thought the exchange program was weird, and it was all history after that

unlikely besties: a devout christan human and their gamer social outcast demon

Satan

highkey fuming about the fact that humans don't know that he and lucifer are different (he for sure smashed up an entire room of the house)

after he calms down from this though, although it takes a while for the two of you to get to know each other, he takes joy in making fun of the slanderous things said about lucifer

you both like to read but the only thing you reread and read nightly is the bible so

luckily he doesn't care about that since it wasn't his dad anyways (don't remind him that it's technically his grandpa's book)

Asmo

the first time you showed him biblical version of him, he was disgusted and refused to speak to you for the next two and half days

after that he feels a little bad since he knows you didn't mean it like that and since you basically tip toe around him

after that he comes on a little strong, but after a while you get along pretty well despite being so different

he’ll reminisce while you listen carefully and hold onto every work he says since he was a real angel and that’s so cool

Beel

while you were initially terrified of him, you quickly learnt how much like he actually was

at the core, you were both just a kind person (or demon) who wanted to help others and uplift them

always there for you to lend a listening ear and to help out out if others are giving you problems

the first in the devildom to make you feel truest welcome and let you know that you could call it home

Belphie

at first he thinks it’s a joke and kinda pokes fun at it

once he realizes you’re being serious, he feels a little bad but also still thinks is very funny how you hide your face behind a bible when you’re scare

has had holy water thrown at him, and has found a bible under his pillow before (gosh who could’ve done that…)

used to jump out at your from around corners in his demon form and it sent your running every time so you can prepared with a rosary blessed by the pope to shove in his face if he dare to try again

[luveline]

a hotch baby blurb along the lines of spontaneous phenomena where she works at the fbi or bau but not as a profiler and is a bit shy and quiet but he always notices her and thanks her for all her hard work ?? maybe he comes back from a case w a black eye or injury and she frets and they kiss ?? i love u mwah

I love you, thank you for your request! fem!reader

When people ask how someone as quiet as you ended up working in the Behavioural Analysis Unit, you love to say, "I just slipped in. They haven't found me yet to fire me." 

For the most part, you aren't lying. You'd worked your way up by accident, and with no intentions on moving any higher you're happy in your cushy little desk job filing paperwork and typing up reports. 

It also gives you a strange sort of happiness to help people out. Not for praise, though praise is nice, but just to see a usually sombre breed of people uplifted. It's why you're in Hotch's office so often. He has an abundance of paperwork. You have time to file it, or if not filing, sorting. If not sorting, tying up loose ends. You figure, why not? 

You wouldn't enter his office if he hadn't given permission. He knows it's you because you always leave the door open, and you know it's him because he sighs tiredly in the doorway. 

"You're here late. Go home." 

"It's only…" You check your watch. "Five twelve."

More tired sighing. You quickly finish up what you'd been doing at the chair in front of his desk (which, a few times, he's told you to sit behind rather than in front, because apparently his chair has better lumbar support) and click a lid back onto your pen. 

"How was– oh no, what happened?" 

Your lilting tone makes him smile. 

"Nothing happened." 

Standing from your seat, you tilt your head to get a better look at him. A shiner stains the skin around his left eye wine dark, and the sclera is bloodshot. It looks painfully sore. 

"Hotch," you say softly. 

"It's alright. I've had worse." 

You know he's had worse. You know he's been stabbed like a pincushion and stitched closed again, know all about his perforated eardrum, his bad shoulder. That doesn't make it any easier to swallow this injury. 

Somebody as kind as he is, how's it fair he hurts this often? 

You move forward in an act of brazen self-indulgence that is completely unlike you and stop just shy of his shoes, looking up into his face. 

He obliges you, looks down. 

You picture the violence without meaning to, the hand that had hit him. 

"Are you alright?" you ask. 

"I'm fine." His brows lower and he winces, but they're lowering in fondness. The corners of his dark eyes crease with it, and his tone is sweet. He sounds younger than he is when he speaks to you like this, and he's been doing it more and more. "You worry more than you need to." 

"I just think that… if somebody hit me like that, I'd be upset, so…" You meet his eyes and feel intimidated, not by him, though he's imposing and tall and handsome in the worst of ways, the way that's making professionalism impossible to maintain, but because you're staring your feelings I'm the face at the same time. You really care about him.

"I like my job," you say, filling a small silence he hadn't bothered to fill, his expression suddenly unreadable, "but sometimes I wish I'd been a profiler." 

"Well, it's never too late." 

"No, it is. And it's not because I want to do what you do, I don't even think I could, but it's–" 

You cut yourself off with a nervous huff of laughter. He takes the smallest step closer, his face dipping down incrementally. "What?" 

"I wish I was so I could be there." 

"Yeah? What would you do?" 

"I'd take care of you," you say honestly. Your face burns with heat, and you realise how corny and out of place you'd sounded instantaneously. You turn your face to the side, grimacing so hard it hurts. "I'd defend you." You attempt to save face. "I mean, I'd try to. I'm not saying the other profilers don't do that." 

"I knew what you meant," he says, and lifts a hand to your cheek. 

You hold your breath as he steers your face to his. 

"You do take care of me," he says. "In your way, honey. You do." His thumb skips over your cheek. He seems, for once, out of order. Unsure. "Could I kiss you?" 

Your fingers find their way to his shoulder. You don't know how to say yes to that, your tongue a leaden weight in your mouth, your brain a useless mess of neurons that refuse to fire. 

You close your eyes and hope he gets the memo. You lift your chin. You stay very still.

Hotch kisses like a gentleman. Chaste, completely, a firm and sweet press of the lips. Then, like he's losing a handle on it, his nose pushes into yours and his lips part just slightly, and you remember to kiss back only a second before he pulls away. 

You raise a hand to his face, a mirror. "You're sure it doesn't hurt?" you murmur. 

"It stings, but," —he closes his eyes again, resting his forehead on yours— "I'll be okay." 

[archiveikemen]

『 Dark If 』 Story Event: Chapter 2

Jude Jazza

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection. I do not own any of the original content. Please support CYBIRD by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

❥･• Warnings and FAQ

I immediately started doing my research on curses and magic in the library.

Due to my sheltered upbringing at the castle, every piece of knowledge I gained from the books was new to me.

Kate: “Time is not irreversible, and space is not unchangeable”.

Kate: “Like a complicated intertwining of threads, the past and the future, as well as different worlds can be connected”.

Kate: … This might be why I have memories of living in both England and this fairytale world…

They once existed separately, but they were now connected into one.

Just like two pieces of thread being intertwined.

The pages of the book rustled as I flipped to the page with information on fairies.

Fairies possess extraordinary powers and are rare in number. They often cause disputes between countries.

It is not an uncommon occurrence for them to be targets of assassination by other countries, as killing a fairy would give them an advantage in terms of war strategy.

(Fairy can easily plan the overthrow of an entire country, and so everyone who refuses to join the military is often imprisoned or executed—)

Kate: … So that’s how it is…

(The overprotective King and the country’s military meekly accepted my situation, just because he’s a fairy…)

I felt furious and ashamed at my lack of knowledge on what was happening around me.

Jude: What have you been doing here every single night?

Kate: Jude…

The moment I saw him, I instantly regretted the things I said to him a few days ago.

Kate: … I’m sorry for saying that you're being targeted because of your bad personality.

Jude: Huh? I don't get what you're talking about.

Kate: Like you said, I’m too ignorant about many things. I realise that now.

Kate: So, for you to listen to what I want… I’ll try to discuss them with you on equal terms.

Jude: … Hah.

Jude scoffed and hooked a fingertip under my collar, pulling my face closer.

Jude: I assumed that you’d be an overly pampered and spoiled brat because of the sheltered upbringing you received for many years.

Jude: What nice eyes you have. Makes me want to make you cry.

Kate: … W-What?

He looked down at me with his usual sadistic expression. And yet, for some strange reason, I felt rather uplifted this time.

(Not that I’m happy I got some form of validation from him or anything… I think.)

Jude: Hm, hope you try as hard as you can.

Jude let go of my collar and left the library.

(— Now that I think of it, he calls me a servant and makes me wear a collar.)

However, apart from leaving the castle, there was nothing else I wasn't allowed to do.

“I’m safe here, so please don't send any soldiers over. That will only result in unnecessary deaths”.

Ellis delivered my letter to the palace, he had been kind enough to help me communicate with them and assure them of my safety.

(If this curse is because of a grudge he has against me— I might have done something wrong to him in the past.)

(But why do I have no recollection of it…?)

To vent my frustration, I completely drowned myself in researching curses and magic.

…

Before I knew it, days went by—

Kate: Oh, good morning, Jude.

Jude: … Are you doing that on purpose?

Kate: … What do you mean?

Jude: Bed hair.

I hurriedly apologised and roughly combed my hair with my fingers.

I lowered my face to hide that my heart fluttered.

Jude: Pfft, you turned red over something like this. You’re so childish.

Rather than being used to his sadistic attitude, I found myself beginning to be slightly attracted to him.

(Um… this must be one of those tropes in fiction where the victim falls for the kidnapper, something like that.)

(This isn’t love… yup.)

Kate: You spent the whole night in your study last night, right? Have you been sleeping well?

Jude: Hah, what’s this? Is the little one worried about me?

Jude: Worry about me after you know how to fix your bed hair and greet me properly in the morning, Princess.

Kate: Ouch…

My forehead stung when he flicked me with his finger.

Jude: You like the pain, huh.

I averted my gaze, avoiding his mocking yet attractive smile.

Kate: I don’t. … Please lift the curse today.

Jude: Ah, ah, you're getting snappy. Looks like I won’t lift the curse today too.

Jude laughed at my request and left for work as usual.

…

Time passed by without mercy, my search for the missing piece in this world and my pleas for my curse to be lifted both remained fruitless—

(Jude…?)

There was one day where Jude was out of the castle for an usually long time and only returned at midnight. I happened to see him when I was peeking out of the library.

Right when his back disappeared into his study.

I noticed something on the carpet—

(Is that… blood?)

A shiver ran down my spine, and I immediately rushed to the study.

…

The study was filled with mountains of books — there Jude was, slouched in a chair at the center of the room, looking pale.

Kate: Jude… are you hurt…?

Jude: … Did I not say that no one is allowed in this room without my permission?

Jude: It’s just a scratch. Hurry up and get out.

Kate: Even if it’s only a small matter, I can’t leave an injured person alone. Let me help you treat your wound.

I approached Jude against his will and saw the piles of papers and documents on his desk.

Kate: … You shut yourself in your study every night. Just what exactly are you researching?

Kate: Is it also the reason why you were out late today…?

Jude: … So what if it is?

Kate: You’ll damage your health if you keep this up.

Kate: Putting your life at risk because of a promise… it's as though you’re the one who’s in danger, Jude.

Jude: … What?

Kate: — It’s like a curse.

Jude: Hah… you actually said it.

Without delay, a hand wrapped around my neck like a snake.

It was as if he wanted to remind me that he was the one who cursed me, and that my life was in his hands.

Kate: … ggh…

My collar was tightened, making me struggle to breathe.

Jude: Being cursed to death for the entirety of your long life over some stupid promise is a pretty big deal.

Jude: You’re worrying about me — and yet, you’ll still fall into a deep slumber tomorrow because of your curse. Have you forgotten all about that?

Jude: Go back to your room right now if you don’t want your head blown off, Princess.

He then slammed the door loudly in my face.

That’s right, before I knew it, my birthday was — tomorrow.

…

(At this rate, I’ll really fall into a deep sleep for 100 years, just like I’m cursed to.)

(Not knowing why Jude cursed me, what’s the missing piece in this world, nothing at all…)

While I was feeling restless and having difficulty sleeping, I suddenly heard the ear-piercing sound of glass shattering.

(Is someone attacking the castle again…?)

I should've been used to the noise by now, and yet… it felt especially unsettling this time.

(There are more voices and footsteps than usual today.)

(Ellis is staying overnight in a town at the foot of the mountain tonight to purchase some items, and Jude is injured.)

Kate: … [worried]

I quickly flew out of bed and ran into the hallway.

…

Jude: Tch… why did you come out here for? Go back to sleep.

Kate: Please don’t say such absurd things in the midst of this ruckus…

Soldier: Princess Kate!

(— Soldiers?!)

Kate: Why are you… I’ve already informed my father than I’m safe…!

Soldier: Your Highness, tomorrow is your last day as per your curse.

Soldier: His Majesty ordered us to take you back to the palace at once, as he wants to see your face for the last time!

(Father…)

Jude: — Unfortunately, the Princess won’t be going home with you.

As if hiding me from the soldiers downstairs, Jude pushed me down with one hand.

Kate: Jude? You’ll be treated as a traitor if you do this, and be an even greater target…

Jude: Hah, you’re worrying over nothing. Besides, you’ll die if you return to the palace now.

Kate: What…?

(What do you mean by that…? My curse is to fall into a deep sleep for 100 years when I prick myself on the spindle of a spinning wheel.)

But, just now, Jude clearly said that I would “die”.

Kate: Are you saying that there’s something else that could kill me, apart from my curse?

Jude: … The incompetency of the doctors at the palace.

Just then, I saw a blazing arrow flying towards Jude—

Kate: … Watch out…!

Jude: !?

In an attempt to shield him from it, I lost my balance—

Jude: … Kate!

— I fell headlong into the atrium, and into the arms of a soldier sent by my father.

Soldier: Princess Kate! Are you hurt!?

Kate: Is Jude…!?

I looked up at the mezzanine — Jude seemingly got distracted by my fall and was subdued by the soldiers.

Jude: Damn it… why did you fall, you idiot?!

Kate: … P-Please, he’s injured… please don’t be rough with him!

Soldier: We will be detaining him for the abduction and confinement of the Princess.

Kate: P-Please wait… listen to me—!

...

No one heard my cries… and we were brought to the palace in separate carriages.

(What should I do… Jude was captured because of me.)

Based on what I’ve read in books about how fairies are treated, I had a rough idea of Jude’s fate.

In place of overlooking his crimes, Jude would be forced to protect our country by attacking enemy countries.

(Jude still has a promise to fulfill…)

— “I won’t ever break this promise, even in death.”

Kate: …?

I thought I heard someone’s voice.

Immediately, the scenery before me distorted and I felt myself being pulled by some unknown force.

(W-Wha…? Did I hit my head—)

…

I shut my eyes tightly due to the dizziness, and when I opened them—

I found myself in an unfamiliar back alley.

(... Where is this place…?)

I saw that my reflection in a building’s windowpane appeared childlike, approximately 10 years old.

(Is this… me as a child?)

Judging from my dainty and expensive-looking dress, it was unlikely that this was the “me” who lived in England.

Right at that moment— the angry voices of a few grown-ups could be heard from outside the alley.

Man’s Voice: Get him! We want him alive!

Man’s Voice: You little pest… making things difficult for me—!

I peeked out of the alley and saw a little boy around my age being chased by a group of grown-ups.

He was covered in wounds; and his eyes looked like they had a roaring fire burning inside them, as if he bore a grudge against the entire world.

The boy was about to pass by the alley, when—

Kate: … Hide—!

Boy: Huh!?

I pulled him into the alley and heaved a sigh of relief as we hid behind a stack of wooden crates, listening to the footsteps of the grown-ups fade away into the distance.

Kate: … Looks like they’re gone now. Why were they after you? Are you hurt—?

Boy: … You don’t know me. I’m a wanted person throughout the country.

Kate: You are? But, why would they be after such a young child…

Boy: A young child? Aren’t you about the same age as me?

(Ah… could it be—)

Kate: Are you able to use magic?

Boy: — So what if I am?

The boy very clearly became increasingly wary of me.

I recalled the heartless words “children of fairies are often wanted as a valuable asset, thus they may be hunted down”.

Kate: Don’t worry, I won’t capture you.

Jude (The Little Boy): … Who knows if you’re telling the truth. Looking at your clothes, you probably a noble’s daughter or royalty. People with money and power are untrustworthy scums.

Kate: I’m telling you the truth! … I think that it’s wrong for someone to be wanted, targeted, and stripped of their freedom when they haven't committed a crime…!

I remembered Jude being attacked at his castle in the mountains nearly every day.

My words involuntarily came out of my mouth, expressing all the pent up frustration I had from my days spent at that castle.

Kate: Ah… sorry for raising my voice.

Boy: … Pfft, why apologise? It’s fine. I agree with you.

Boy: … And your face doesn't look like you’re capable of lying.

Boy: You don’t seem intelligent enough to fool someone for your personal gain— huh?

Boy: Oi, show me your face.

Kate: Huh? Wha—

He brought my face closer and examined it closely, seemingly trying to see something.

(His eyes… they look cold, yet so beautiful.)

Boy: Tch… you look like you have some kind of disease.

Kate: A disease…?

Boy: You have about 10 years left to live.

Kate: W-What…!? Are you saying that I’ll die in 10 years time…!?

Boy: I owe you for saving my life, I’m not going to let you die.

Boy: 10 years later when you’re about to die, I’ll make time stop.

Boy: I don't know how many years will it take to find a cure for your disease… 100 years should suffice.

Kate: H-Hold on… what do you mean by that?

Boy: You slow princess. I’m saying that I’ll save you. Go on and cry tears of gratitude for me.

Boy: I won’t ever break this promise, even in death.

The boy poked my forehead with a finger.

Boy: 10 years from now, you will prick your finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel and fall into a deep sleep for 100 years.

Kate: W-Why do I have to prick my finger on a spindle…?

Boy: Maybe it’s just the way you look, who knows. Besides — you seem to enjoy pain.

His thin lips curled into a mocking smile.

Kate: — Have we ever met somewhere before…?

…

— I found myself back in the carriage I was forced into.

(That dream… it felt oddly real.)

I could still feel the sensation of a finger touching my forehead.

“Time is not irreversible, and space is not unchangeable. Like a complicated intertwining of threads, the past and the future, as well as different worlds can be connected.”

(The past and the present… connected…?)

I came to this world from England — and now, I have a promise with Jude from the past.

That idea should've been ridiculous, and yet the dots connected perfectly and formed a truth.

Kate: So, the present day Jude is currently imprisoned — and then there's the curse.

Kate: What about the promise we made just now…?

– Flashback Start –

King: … That night, you had a quarrel with me and ran away from the palace. You then lost your consciousness and collapsed in an alley.

– Flashback End –

Thinking about it made me finally understand why I had no memories of back then.

It was because the “me” who met the young Jude in the back alley, was “me” from the present day.

I came into this fairytale world, and made a promise with Jude from the past.

That’s why, before I met Jude from the past, I didn't have any memories of making that promise.

(But, still… I’m certain that I wasn't scared of the curse.)

(Because Jude didn't curse me out of spite.)

(He cursed me to buy time, so that a cure for my disease could be found.)

That means, according to the curse, I need to be pricked by a spindle.

It was the only way to fulfil our promise, which was for me to fall asleep and stop death from reaching me.

Kate: A spindle…

Kate: I have to look for a spindle—

[joocomics]

hey dinna! hope you’ve been doing well 🫶 idk if ur taking HC requests rn, as i’m sure ur busy w kinktober (which i’ve been loving btw!!) so totally understandable if ur not, but if u are… how do u think the heroes would comfort their partner who was going through a difficult time and feeling bad about themselves?

(asking for a friend) ((it’s me i’m the friend. PMS has been getting to me and making All of my insecurities flare up and i even had a work-related nightmare the other day from the stress 🥲 i know the feelings will pass and i’ll be fine but it really sucks rn and i wish i had a pretty boy to hug me and tell me it’s ok 😭))

hi pookie 🫶🏼 i’m sorry to hear you’re going through a tough time and i really hope this post as little as it is brings you some joy! i’m sure you’re strong and you can get through it quicker than you think! make sure to rest well and take care of yourself now more than ever ~ i’m here if you need to distract yourself from everything. also, thank you for reading my kinktober event, means more than you know 🤎

gunil would talk to you about it firsthand because for him it’s important that you know you can always share anything with him; undeniably the conversation would ease the storm inside you. he’s patient, understanding and very good with words; he’d know what to say and how; when to speak and when to leave you to be the one talking while he just listens and caresses your back with affection. the conversation would be comforting, and once it’s over, he’d propose to you to go for a walk in the park so you can get some fresh air. his eyes won’t leave you out of sight throughout the whole day and they’ll radiate love and gentleness. if you’re not in the mood for that, he’d order food and make a cosy space for a movie night

jungsu would cuddle you so much; he’d lock arms around you and keep you warm and safe while leaving soft kisses in your hair. he wouldn’t be big on talking in the specific moment, but when he speaks he’d say exactly what you need to hear and every word would be healing. you’d feel your heart calming its rhythm and healing its wound slowly as he whispers that you’re doing great and that everything will be okay; he’s by your side and he’s always going to be here for you. he’d make sure to spoon you when you go to bed to limit the chances of you having another nightmare, and during the day, he’d be throwing you compliments and little encouraging phrases that would have a big positive impact on your week

jiseok would be slightly perplexed maybe solely because of wanting to help you feel better and being unsure if he’s doing enough. until you show him that his presence alone is already enough for your heart to relax. he’d definitely sneak a few jokes here and there, hoping to make you laugh, as he keeps your head resting on his lap and his hands playing with your hair which is another thing that always makes you feel at ease too. you’d be able to feel the love he has for you as his fingers caress your cheek gently and his eyes look down at you lovingly

seungmin would talk to you about it when you want to talk about it, and when you need to have some alone time, he’d cook for you. he’d make your favorite meal and put on the movie that he knows you keep rewatching because you love it so much. he can easily tell when your mood starts to drop and every gesture of his would radiate support and affection in order to remind you he’s there for you. he’d buy all your favorite snacks, he’d shower together with you, he’d do your hair and take you to the mall so you can laugh together at silly toys and such

junhan would be the best listener; he’d really try to give you not only support and validation but also advice if you need it, for work or your own personal reasons. he’d ask questions and try to help you go through your messy thoughts that would be clouding your mind. after a long conversation he’d want to uplift your spirits and would want to know what you want to do. whatever you’re in the mood for, that’s what he’d be in the mood for too. going out for brunch, chilling at home and listening to music, going to the cinema… you name it. on days like that he’d just want to see you smile again

jooyeon would let you cry on his shoulder for as long as you need. he hates to see you cry, but he knows it’s relieving you from the pressure; if it’s something you feel the need to do in that moment he’d hold you in his arms and caress your back gently while quietly reminding you that it’s okay. he’d kiss your nose then your cheeks until he covers every part of your puffy face with quick soft pecks. he’d make sure you know it’s normal for everyone to have days like this and that you shouldn’t forget that you’re not going through them alone. the crying session would turn into the two of you chatting about some mundane things while cuddling, and then the cuddling would turn into him suddenly playing fight with you out of nowhere (spoiler alert: he’d let you win. not easily, but he’d let you win)

[rwbyrg]

Hello!

I would like to ask if there's already a post a long the lines of "Why Rosegarden is a good ship" or reasons to ship RG? If none would it be alright to ask for your insights?

It's my first time being interested in them but I just can't wrap it around my head for now. I would love to read about them!

Thank you in advance ^^

Hi Anon!

I have not yet made any posts specifically with these questions in mind, no. Just a small, unfinished, series about why I believe the ship is likely to be canon. I am happy to offer some insight, but I don't know that I'm going to give you the answers you're looking for. 😅

First and foremost, the questions you're asking aren't really ones that can be answered objectively. What makes a ship "good" or "bad" is largely subjective, as there are as many ways to view a ship as there are people viewing it. I could make an argument about how I think it is - objectively speaking - a well written pairing that follows the typical beats and tropes (with delightful subversions) of a good romance arc, that also parallels how other canon ships within RWBY have been established... but at the end of the day, if you're not a fan of what RG is about, then there's not much I can say to change your mind.

Which brings me to your second question. The best reasons to ship RG are going to be the same reasons for why anyone should ship anything: ship it if you want to, ship it if it resonates with you, and ship it if you enjoy it.

If their characters, interactions, themes, parallels, allusions, tropes, symbolisms, foils, designs, messages, etc., aren't your cup of tea, it's completely okay if you pick something else on the menu! So long as you don't like. verbally harass people that do like it or fill the tag w the same discourse that we are all very tired of seeing.

I don't know if that is a sufficient answer to your question, so I'll take a chance and also provide some of my personal reasons as to why I think it's "good" and why I ship it. While there are many reasons I can't all include, the main things are just how much they mirror each other:

From their complementary character designs (red vs. green, silver vs. gold, moon vs. sun, etc.),

To shared fairytale allusions (Little Prince and the Rose, Dorothy and Princess Ozma/Tip, Warrior in the Woods, etc.),

To the narrative parallels (both being the youngest of the group when they joined respectively; how both of their attachments to each other keep being put into focus; to their shared themes around choice and identity: Ruby having chosen adventure but feeling as if she has no choice but to keep moving forward, while Oscar was chosen by adventure but chooses to do what he can despite his circumstances; Oscar not knowing who he is because of the merge and asking: "I'm just going to be another one of his lives, aren't I?", versus Ruby not wanting to be who she is after chasing the the ghost of an unachievable ideal, but being asked "what if you could be anyone?"; how they're both just kids thrown into war and unfair responsibility before they even have a chance to figure out the kinds of people they want to be, etc.),

to perhaps, most importantly, the show of mutual support between the two of them.

Ruby supports everyone as best she can. She is always giving to and supporting others as a show companionship and leadership. But thanks to V9 and also E4 of RWBY Beyond, we know this was not sustainable or sufficiently reciprocated.

She was let down by Weiss who constantly managed to hit her right in her insecurities; let down by Blake who - even while trying to uplift her - just ended up adding more pressure by treating Ruby like a role model; to Yang and Qrow who both tried to support her as best they could, but kept comparing her to Summer in the process; to Penny having so much of her own lack of experience, stressors, and very immediate worries going on that she couldn't offer Ruby the support she needed even if she wanted to; to Jaune flipping his lid at her and pointing the blame even when he himself was guilty and knew he was out of line; to Ozpin, Qrow, Maria, Tai, Summer, Cordovin, Ironwood, etc., all being adults who could have taken responsibility or done the right thing, but fumbled or failed leaving her to pick up the pieces in their wake. But Oscar? We see it from Oscar's introduction that he - like their shared fairytale allusions - is in awe from the moment he meets her. But after one conversation about the weight of her grief, trauma, and the responsibilities she is carrying - a conversation she has not had with anyone else up to this point - he immediately sees how heavy Ruby's burdens are. Saying, as early as V5: "This must be really hard on her too". And while it is subtle, he never stops looking after her as best he can as the volumes go onward ("Looks like you're needed elsewhere."/"You're sure?"/"Yeah, I've got it."). However, it's only in V9 that her sister Yang is asking "why didn't she just talk to us?". It is only in V9 when her partner Weiss admits: "Maybe it's because she didn't feel like she could". It is only V9 when Ruby finally lays her burdens out to someone else again, this time to the Blacksmith, after almost having given up completely.

For a character who's 116 episode long arc has been about carrying the weight of responsibility far beyond her limits, never asking for anything in return no matter how difficult it gets... to meet another character that instantly notices her struggles and makes a conscious effort to help where all others have failed? To have one conversation and say "that looks heavy, let me help you carry that" without her asking or waiting for an answer? It's just one of the most beautiful acts of care I can think of. The themes and the parallels all resonate very strongly with me on a personal level, making it - in my humble opinion - a brilliant, and very stable foundation for a relationship, and for a story.

Thank you for your question, I hope I was able to offer some of the insight you were looking for. 💕

[roguelov]

okay I know we all love romantic DreamxHobxYoung!Immortal!Reader, BUT I saw a tiktok recently that gave me an idea. the video said something like "immortal character taking in magical character who has been rejected by their family and community and becoming their parental figure"

maybe it's a situation similar to jjk, where geto adopted those 2 girls who were being abused by their village for being sorcerers.

they don't have to be an actual kid though, they could be older since they'd still be wayyy younger than dream and hob lol

just dream and hob taking in this person who's been rejected by everyone and taking care of them and stuff (platonic soulmates maybe?)

(I have like a whole story about this in my head, but it includes yet another fandom so I'll leave it at this😅🤭)

Oh my god my heart my baby heart loves this so much 🥹🥰 found family? I’m sold I’m here for it

You were ostracized by your community by a young age, you were gifted with an affinity for magic and labeled a menace. You drifted along by yourself for a while mostly surviving until you crossed paths with a gentleman with a kind smile. Hob instantly knew you were in need, you had this broken and almost feral look in your eyes. It reminded him of his time after his family died and his town believed him to be a witch.

After some coaxing, he brought you to the New Inn and gave you a warm meal. And since then you always found yourself there. Maybe at first you tried to stay away, believing you are a monster. Your magic was wild, chaotic, and impossible to control no matter the effort you put into learning it. However, you enjoyed Hob’s company and he made you feel safe. And eventually, you met Dream.

Maybe you never told Hob and Dream your secret and past, but one day while in the Dreaming your magic spills out. It nearly toppled over the castle, and you tried to flee afterwards. But, Dream and Hob found you in Fiddler’s Green. Tears streaming down your face, you blurted out everything. You told them what people called you, your eternal life doomed to be alone given your cursed magic, how -

Hob will immediately cut you off, “No one is cursed to be alone.”

Hob and Dream will pour into how they will not leave you, how you aren’t alone anymore, and how they will do everything they can to help you.

“The Dreaming can be your home, you are always welcomed here,” Dream will say.

And you will stay. You will stay because you love it here and everyone - Dream, Hob, Lucienne, Matthew, Marv, Cain and Abel, Goldie - are your family.

Now here’s some snippets I think would be lovely:

Dream and Hob trying to help you control your magic but results in them being knocked around (more so in the beginning)

Dream will be your biggest teacher and supporter when learning your magic and may find some artifacts to help control (maybe he’ll make you a ruby necklace to contain some of your magic)

Hob will share stories of his past both the good and the bad

If you want a normal life in the Waking, Hob will gladly let you work at the inn

If you have nightmares especially of your past, Dream will be there to comfort you and apologize not meaning to upset you

Once you can control your magic, you will excitedly show off to Dream and Hob and they are so happy and proud of you

Dream and Hob will see a new light in your eyes that makes their heart feel so at ease

Just Dream and Hob becoming your home and them uplifting you constantly

[the-woman-upstairs]

Honestly, all my schadenfreude over the public evisceration of James Somerton by Hbomberguy and Todd in the Shadows is tempered by the anger I feel at how much damage, pain, misinformation, and marginalizing one man was capable of accomplishing through the platform he built through plagiarism, blatant lies, and outright bigotry.

And frankly it sucks that it took the efforts of two other popular YouTube creators to bring him down when Somerton was clearly never good at hiding any of his horrific behavior. There were clearly women and trans/non-binary people who knew something was up with him and his “work” but were either harassed/doxxed by the fans he set on them or knew they didn’t have the same kind of clout/support to be believed over him.

It just boggles my mind how EASY it would have been for him to cite these sources and work with other queer creators on the platform to help create a wealth of accessible, comprehensive knowledge of queer media and history available to a younger generation. Because clearly, there’s a hunger in the younger generations of queer kids/people for that knowledge, the understanding of the past, how it informs the present and creates the future. But all Somerton did was steal from other creators, ones who either didn’t know their work was stolen or were given the run-around by Somerton instead of proper accreditation.

Instead of uplifting other people and their research, he selfishly stole and hoarded it, before regurgitating it and claiming it was all his own while also infecting some excellent analysis with awful, bigoted opinions, particularly geared towards women, trans people, or any type of queer he didn’t believe was the “right kind.” You know, like all the “boring gays” that “survived” the AIDS crisis.

I want to believe that this time we’ll learn to not take people at face value, just because they give the appearance of professionalism and sound authoritative on whatever subject is covered. Because that’s how dangerous misinformation is spread and taken for fact. Todd was absolutely on the money when he pointed out how it is important to document all the lies and plagiarism with Somerton because how many young people believed what he was saying? How many people watched his videos on the adult film industry or “bad gays” or Nazis influence on body image and walked away thinking they were learning something about their history? Far too many, I’m sure.

Though at least having these two videos to refer to can help people learn when to spot someone who’s being disingenuous in “teaching people something.” And that any person who claims to be the “only person” talking about an issue is mostly likely lying and trying to sell you something. Usually, their own brand. It’s far better to diversify the people you follow and the voices you listen to, and the playlist Hbomberguy made available is a great place to start.

But I also recommend seeking out some of the original sources yourself. There’s typically queer history books/memoirs in the nonfiction section of your local library. You can find the original Celluloid Closet documentary on Tubi, along with another interesting one, Do I Sound Gay? Disclosure, the documentary on depictions of trans people in Hollywood, is available on Netflix. And that’s just a couple of the top of my head. If you’re looking for queer films in general, Wolfe Video has so many available for purchase or even just to peruse and rent the titles later.

I do hope some good comes out of all this, even if the damage done by Somerton still lingers in online queer spaces (fingers crossed this means the end of Illuminaughtii and Internet Historian as well). It helps to be wary of people seeking to take advantage of the online spaces we now inhabit, but there’s still people and places across the internet that are doing good work and want to help educate people. They may not always be easy to find and may even require some effort on the part of the audience, but the end result of really learning something, discovering interesting research/work, or being part of open minded discussions is a worthwhile reward. And always something to be proud of.

[many-but-one]

Trauma Informed Biases and TERFs

In light of my ex-best friend being outed as a TERF, I think I want to have a series of discussions. Mainly about the biases that we (community "we") can have and that trauma and biases work hand in hand, and how we cannot allow trauma-informed biases impact our decision making or critical thinking skills, but also a bit about my experiences as a trans man and how being trans yourself doesn't mean you automatically escape transmisogyny. (Spoiler alert: while I'd never say I was transmisogynistic in action, I was in some part biased due to my past traumas, and having a transfemme partner and seeing the way she's treated by others just for existing had to make me rethink everything I understood about what it meant to be a trans woman, which has made me a better person--and I believe a better partner, too.)

First, I'm going to talk a bit about trauma-informed biases. As trauma survivors, we all have them. For example, we were primarily abused by white, Christian men. By all accounts, when we encounter a white, Christian man, we are immediately wary of his intentions. Often without even knowing him or trying to know him, we will already assume he's just like our abusers deep down. While that may sometimes be true, more often than not, a white Christian male who hasn't done much self reflection and growth will mainly just be misogynistic to various degrees and probably not understand the weight of his privilege. That doesn't automatically make him a pedophile who tortures kids like our abusers were.

Branching off from that, and narrowing it down, we get to the meat of the problem, which is men. We have met and known cis men who are by all accounts nothing like our abusers, in fact, the exact opposite. They are sensitive, they are caring, they know their privilege and use it to uplift the voices of their female friends. They are avid supporters of the queer community even if they aren't a part of it. While they are sometimes misguided, they are also always open to learn more and be corrected and change. There are good men out there. However, this doesn't make our bias towards men change. We were hurt by men, we know others who have been hurt by men. People both AFAB and AMAB have been harmed and subjugated by men for centuries, so it's not like it's coming from only our experiences with men.

However, this is where the problem lies. While it's okay to be wary of men for our safety, outright hating ALL men is where it gets dicey. That's where radfem ideology will suck people in, specifically AFAB people. They feel wronged by men, they have been hurt by men, so of course in their mind, men have to pay in some way. Feminism on its own sets to destroy the patriarchy and keep everyone on even ground, whereas radfem ideology often trickles into spaces related to that vengeance aspect of men needing to pay for what they have done in some way. And truly, I can understand. From the bottom of my heart, I can understand. I want the men who hurt me and hurt my friends to pay too. Vengeance (or justice, as many would prefer to call it) is a tantalizing concept, even if only in theory due to how shoddy the justice system is at actually bringing any justice to survivors' lives.

And when an AFAB person enters a radfem space, they will immediately be in danger of developing TERF ideology. This is what happened to the aforementioned friend. Most people will already know who I'm talking about. I think they started in a good place, but the biases that they already held within them were taken advantage of, and they let their trauma-informed biases take root and allow them to follow that TERF path. For the record, they still deny being a TERF, but as everyone has already seen, they most certainly are. TERFs will *rarely* actually self-identify as a TERF, even if they are spouting the most clearly TERF-ridden ideology known to man. The reason for this is because TERF is a "bad word" (rightfully so) and the baby radfems out there who are trying to avoid becoming a TERF are going to start by avoiding anyone who self-identifies as a TERF. Which of course, is not what TERFs want. They want baby radfems to feel welcome and not immediately shun what they teach them, because TERFs do eventually want those anti-TERF baby radfems to eventually become TERFs just like them.

[As a side tangent: I know I sound like I'm calling TERFs predatory in the way I describe their tactics, but I'm going to be completely honest in the way I believe a lot of TERFs utilize cult tactics to find new radfems or radfems who are on the fence between feminism and radical feminism and get them to join their cause. If you examine the BITE model (Behavior, Information, Thought, Emotion)--what is often used to define a cult--it's very clear that TERFs WILL use emotion-based tactics and manipulative tactics to get baby radfems to join their cause, and once their thought processes get changed and they lose their friends who don't jive with those beliefs, they get stuck in the echo chamber. And then they'll get pressured to believe more and more extreme things with the threat of ostracization from the "in-group" for not agreeing. And if someone has already lost all of their friends for joining this in-group in the first place, where else to go but to stay? See what I'm getting at, here? While they may not be as damaging to their own members as some cults, they DO cause a threat to others, namely transfemmes. People in power who share those beliefs make laws that distinctly work to harm transfemmes, e.g. JK Rowling providing massive amounts of funding towards anti-trans legislature.]

So how does this relate to trauma-informed biases? How do we get from disliking or hating men to becoming a TERF? Well, because TERFs utilize bioessentialism as a weapon. They reduce everyone down to the parts that they have (or were observed to have) at birth. While a TERF may not outright say "everyone born with a penis deserves to die" they WILL outright say things like "well, I just think AFAB people ("real women") should be allowed to have spaces that are only for them, you know? They shouldn't be forced to be around women who aren't AFAB" (if they will even acknowledge that trans women are women at all, more often they consider trans women to be men masquerading as women or accuse transfemmes of outright trying to invade women's spaces to hurt them). This is especially apparent in the lesbian side of TERFdom, where they try to use the justification of "not being attracted to penises" to explain that trans women shouldn't be allowed in their spaces. Which, to be completely honest, I do think it's fine to be attracted to certain genitalia and turned off by other people's genitalia, but you also shouldn't let that guide you toward completely excluding trans women from lesbian spaces. You can just choose to not date trans women and call it a day. Is it pretty lame to reduce someone to a set of parts and only date someone based on a set of parts? Yeah, it is, but you're within your rights to date who you want to. You just shouldn't exclude them from the entire space altogether based on your preferences.

For the record, I used to be part of this group of people right here. There was nothing I had against trans women, I was just extremely terrified of the parts they have due to my past traumas, and I didn't want to make a trans woman feel like I was afraid of them for the parts that they have. I didn't want my fear of sexual situations with her to ruin whatever romantic attraction we could have, and I was certain for a long time that this would be true forever.

Until I met my current partner, who is a trans woman.

I'm going to segue into how being a trans man (technically we are genderfluid but we usually present as a trans man to most people) doesn't automatically mean you cannot hold biases against trans women or even be outright transmisogynistic, and that while I do believe trans men have their own slew of issues related to being trans men (such as being perceived as a traitor to your AGAB, or the first time you get clocked as your correct gender but not in the gender affirming way, in the way that the women that you have always held so much community with think you're a cis man and are afraid of you. That's a tough one to come to terms with, personally, and is also why our system tends to lay within the "butch lesbian/faggy trans guy" section of transmasc, so that while we definitely do get clocked more often, it also helps the women we care about so much in our communities know we're not cis. Because no, our goal is not to be to be as cis as cis can be and so our gender ambiguity that we express does us a lot of favors while also opening other doors for trouble, like harassment for appearing as a faggy trans guy or as someone who's clocked as a lesbian) they are a completely different ballgame than what trans women have to deal with on a daily basis just for existing as they do.

Things I've learned about trans women's experiences that I never knew before:

-They may never be able to fully pass and that puts them in danger of harassment or even death for the rest of their lives

-if they come off as too loud or too intense for someone, they will immediately see them as a danger even if the transfemme in question is one of the kindest human beings you've ever had the pleasure of meeting

-if they don't talk in the somewhat-stereotypical "quiet, demure, trans girl" voice or for any reason dress in a more butch or non-hyperfeminine style, they are going to be seen as a threat despite any actions they will have done to prove they are not a threat

-if a trans woman likes to be around kids, some people are going to immediately assume they're a pedophile. This one deeply saddens and disgusts me more than I can even describe

-if they are talkative or ask a lot of questions about something and they come off as a little too pushy or are socially awkward/autistic, people are going to immediately assume they need to be afraid of her despite there being no evidence of that being a conclusion that needs to be jumped to, or they may label her as "creepy"

-if she decides not to opt for sex change surgeries then she's clearly just a man pretending to be a woman, if she opts for sex change surgeries, she's a trap. Same for if she passes well or not. If she passes well, she's a trap, if she doesn't pass well, she's a freak

-people will assume she's always trying to manipulate them in some way, as mentioned above. If she passes well, she's manipulating them and tricked them (usually for sex, but could also happen in a romantic situation). If she tries to disclose that she's trans early on, she might risk out on them leaving her just for being trans and not actually getting to know her as a person

-if she's into sex or hypersexual and comes off strong, at best she might be labeled as pushy or creepy, at worse she may be labeled as a rapist

-additionally, trans women are extremely fetishized, but once she has autonomy and is seen as an actual person and not a fetish object, all of that attraction goes away and she's seen as a trap or gross or whatever other vile concoctions people have come up with to describe trans women in a sexual light.

-many, many more things that I couldn't even begin to list in this post.

All of these affect a trans woman every single day. She's at nearly just as much if not just as much at risk of attack as cis women are. She's much more likely to hear the word tranny in a negative context than a trans guy is. While a trans guy could get called a tranny, sure, they're significantly less likely to be attacked or even killed for being trans. Trans men are often labeled as "confused little girls" which is infantalizing, yes, but trans women are often labeled as creeps, rapists, or manipulative/evil people. Imagine what that does to a person's sense of self? Their self image? Even if she's never done anything remotely that bad, she's going to be labeled that anyway.

And gods forbid she ever does anything that could be seen as kinda "weird" or "bad"--not in the morally reprehensible sense. I mean like she cheated on someone or she does drugs or she says something a little tone deaf ten years ago. Trans women are forced to live life on their tiptoes for fear of being told they are evil monsters. I've seen with my own fucking eyes someone who I thought was an ally to transfemmes (they were dating a transfemme!!!) who immediately demonized another trans girl because she was socially awkward and autistic. Tried to make assumptions that she must be abusive to her partner, tried to claim that because of one interaction with this girl, they already knew that she had antisocial behavior (which I find funny that she says this to us, someone who has significant ASPD traits), which to me alludes that they believe she could be manipulative and hurtful. All because she was a bit awkward in a social gathering! I was appalled and disgusted by this, and it really opened the door beyond what I'd heard from my partner already the types of things that trans girls have to deal with from people that are within their own community that they should be able to trust.

So what does this have to do with not letting our trauma-informed biases rule the way we think about others? I'll keep it as simple as possible with this little flow chart:

Someone (usually AFAB) has trauma with men -> they hate men -> they join the feminism movement -> they veer into radfem spaces because of how vocal radfems are about hating men and they feel they are justified to believe this because of the harm men have caused them personally -> they become a TERF because radfems see people as a set of parts rather than what they actually are -> TERFs spread hatred and vitriol towards trans women in particular -> that hate and vitriol leaks into the LGBTQ+ community because a large number of TERFs are lesbian cis women -> trans women are unable to feel safe even in their own communities

Trans women deserve to feel safe in their own communities. You can be the biggest trans woman supporter ever and still not be a good ally. I thought I was a great ally to trans women before I realized that I was equating trans women's struggles with my struggle as a trans man. And until you really understand what they go through and see it with your own eyes, you may never truly realize just how difficult it is to exist as a trans woman AND you may realize you had biases you didn't even know you had. Existing as a trans man =/= existing as a trans woman. I didn't even realize I had any bias towards trans girls until I realized that I had decided (rather young I might add) that I wouldn't date a trans girl because of the fact that she was AMAB. I didn't realize how much this completely screwed up my view of trans women until I examined it under a microscope, AFTER I fell in love with a trans girl. I don't want y'all to feel like you have to fall in love with a trans girl to understand their struggle and to question your own biases. (though I will say, dating a trans woman has been the best relationship of my life, I love her so much).

Examining your biases and understanding what is trauma-informed and what is an actual issue is paramount. Being wary of cis men is kind of a given, considering the amounts of violence cis men do upon people and have been doing upon people for hundreds upon hundreds of years, but you can't let yourself get into the rut of outright hating cis men just because you've been hurt by cis men in the past.

Interestingly, I've also been abused by cis women, though rarely in as violent of contexts as cis men. I've made myself look at that under a lens too and it made me realize that I greatly distaste old women, and for me, especially if they are 50 and older--though some parts of my system also struggle with any woman older than her mid thirties. I will almost immediately assume an old woman doesn't have my best interests at heart, though it's different than with cis men. While I may assume a cis man might violently assault me in one form or another, I typically have different assumptions with older women and it's definitely something I'm going to have to also examine under a microscope and try to pick apart to really understand if my assumptions are based on verifiable truth ("all old women are bad," like the "all men are bad" assumption) or based on my traumas. My traumas are my own personal truth, but I can't let that affect my relationships I have with men and older women for the rest of my life. Or I could end up a TERF, or like one of those people who were happy that old people were dying of COVID. What a miserable way to live, you know?

-Delphine (she/her)