#hes real to me and its so fucking weird
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(Part of this post with older brother danyal al ghul)
...Okay, look. Sam knows she's staring. She knows very well that she is staring. And that if she doesn't stop staring it's gonna draw her unwanted attention, and that will only have to make her explain why she's staring. Which she doesn't want to do.
She's trying not to stare, which she thinks she should get brownie points for. She tries to look away, to find a spot on the wall to stare lifelessly at, maybe she can burn holes into some of these annoying socialites' heads. But eventually her eyes drift, and suddenly she's back to staring again.
Can you blame her though? Damian Wayne looks like a very close mini-me of her fucking best friend. Seriously, it's like looking into a mirror to the past. If that mirror to the past had green eyes rather than blue and a distinctive lack of a facial scar.
The first time she sees him when her parents drag her over to Bruce Wayne to butter up to him she has to do a doubletake. Then a triple take. Then a quadruple take, just for good measure that she was seeing what she was actually seeing. She was sure she looked like one of those stress toys that when squeezed had their eyes pop out comically like a Saturday morning cartoon, that's what she certainly felt like anyways.
Look, Danny's come a decent way from being that scowl-y, jerkish little ten year old she first met when he arrived like the wind to Amity Park five years ago (even if he was still occasionally scowl-y and jerkish), but one thing that's stayed the same is how reserved he is about his home life prior to being taken in by the Fentons.
He doesn't talk about it much, and Sam's come to know that he's very good at changing the subject when it gets brought up. Even after being friends for nearly four years, the only thing she and Tuck know for certain is that he has a little brother that he refers to as 'starlight', whom he cares a lot about but left on really bad terms with. And that he's never met his father, but wants to and knows who he is.
He's never told her or Tucker who he was though, and glancing at Bruce Wayne, Sam is realizing why. She can begrudgingly acknowledge all the good he's done for Gotham, but... well, if Danny told her that Bruce Wayne was his dad, she wouldn't have believed him at all.
But she's starting to see the resemblance, as subtle as it is.
And she sees the resemblance to Damian Wayne, her eyes dropping back down to him as he wears a very Danny-like scowl on his face, arms crossed behind his back as his eyes swept around the ballroom. He was five years younger than Danny, and god it was so, so weird.
His eyes turned on to her, and they locked gazes for a moment.
Involuntarily, Sam makes a startled noise and looks away. Fingers tap against her purse, black and purple and unfortunately a clutch that only held her phone and her wallet in it. She would have kept a knife on her, but her parents put their foot down and there was a security detail at the door. Only in Gotham.
Silently, she was hoping that the little Danny-me didn't say anything. Or at least, he hadn't noticed her staring. Which was a tall order if she ever heard one -- and unfortunately, her silent prayers went unanswered as her mother's eyes dropped down onto her.
"Did you say something, Samantha?" She asks in a sickeningly sweet voice, a sound that makes Sam's skin crawl. Her dad and Bruce Wayne's attention also turns onto her, and she glowers at her mom from the corner of her eye.
"I didn't say anything." Sam says, barely keeping her tone polite as she turned her head away. Her mother clucks her tongue, disapproving, but from her peripherals doesn't pester her more
Bruce Wayne, the bastard, takes that time to turn to Sam and grace her with his dime-a-dozen billboard smiles. "I've been talking with your parents this whole time, Miss Manson, you must be terribly bored. How is your schooling going?"
Sam eyes him up and down. On one hand, she immediately wants to be snarky. It's none of his business what her school life is like, she doesn't care for his fucking small talk.
On the other hand, this was Danny's whole father. Someone who she knows that Danny has wanted to meet for, what she's assuming, his whole life. He's never brought it up much, but she remembers that very quiet, solemn conversation she and Tucker had with him where he admits to having never met his dad. But god does he want to.
And... wait. Sam's eyes narrow, and she meets Bruce Wayne's eyes. Does this man even know Danny exists? She drops her gaze down to Damian, who was staring at her suspiciously, and then back up to Bruce, and she alternates between them.
Why was Damian living with Bruce, but not Danny? Why hasn't Bruce done anything to reach out to him - what was going on with Danny's biological family that Danny had to be separated from them, but not Damian? Danny's always been kinda mysterious, but now things weren't adding up.
Was Danny given up? Does Bruce just not want Danny, but wanted Damian? Why the fuck does Bruce Wayne know about Damian but not her best friend -- or does he know and just not care? He's fought for custody for his adoptive kids before, does he just not want to fight for his other biological son? Does he think Danny's not worth it?
She's never cared much about the Wayne family before, other than to hear about the advancements on WE's eco-friendly tech, but Sam thinks she's gonna have to look into why Damian Wayne was living with the Waynes.
Slowly, with a protective anger beginning to burn in her gut and crawl up her throat, a scowl slowly curls at the corner of her lip as she redirects her glare from her mother onto Bruce. "It's going fine," She says curtly, jutting her chin out defiantly. "Me and my friend Danny started a petition to fix the leaky faucets in the girls and boys' bathrooms in order to conserve more water for the rest of the city."
She eyes his face, waiting to see if anything like recognition flashes through it. And- and nothing. Sam breathes in slowly through her nose, trying to quell the red that's blurring the edge of her vision -- does he just, not know where Danny is?
Her parents however, make vaguely displeased expressions. "Our Samantha is... quite passionate about her pet projects." Her dad says, laughing low and nervously, "she's very vocal about silly things like that."
"Her friend Daniel is perhaps even worse than she is sometimes." Her mother adds on, fanning her face with her perfectly manicured hands with a sigh. "I swear, he's the one that keeps dragging her into these things."
Sam's anger turns on its head, and she whirls on her heel like a fire-breathing dragon. "It's Danyal." It rolls out like instinct. Danny's told them both that he hates the Americanized pronunciation of his name, but in a rare moment of restraint, puts up with it for reasons unknown to her. "And Danny doesn't make me do anything, it was my idea."
The name, Danyal, seems to ring some kind of bell in Brucie Wayne's head, because she sees him and Damian quietly perk up like two cats pricking up their ears. Her eyes flick onto him immediately, something dangerous rearing its head. So Bruce Wayne knows about Danny. And he's not reaching out to him. Is he? She's not sure.
She does know that she's gonna rip his throat out if she finds out that he's known about Danny this entire time and has been ignoring him while favoring his little brother. She'll hunt down Aragon herself and steal his dragon-shifting amulet and wreck house on Bruce Wayne if that's the case. Batman and his league of vigilantes be damned. Her parents don't notice her slowly turning head towards Bruce.
But Bruce does, and she makes direct eye contact with him. His smile doesn't falter, he just tilts his head like a curious puppy and looks at Sam's parents. She hopes Bruce can read minds, she hopes he can hear her threatening him.
"Danyal?" He asks, and Sam doesn't know if she hates the fact that he said it correctly or not. She just continues burning holes into him and hoping he might spontaneously combust.
Her mother waves her hand dismissively, tilting her nose up poshly into the air. "Our dear Samantha's little... foster friend from school," she says, not even bothering to hide her disdain, "a creepy little boy with the most garish scar on his face. He's a rude little thing, not good for polite company."
Scratch that, Sam mentally alternates between ripping into her parents and Bruce. She whirls on them. "Do not talk about Danny that way." She all but snarls, and they all but ignore her.
(She's tearing up the upholstery when she gets home. She's going to paint over the fine china. She's going to do something to make them pay for this.)
"Oh yes, he was taken in by that freaky Fenton family a few years ago." Her dad continues in lieu of her mom, and they both shake their heads disapprovingly. "It's just what our city needs, another menace."
"Danny is not a menace." Sam continues, raising her voice while her hands shake with rage. Her parents finally look at her, but she can already tell that they're going to scold her for raising her voice. She bulldozes over them and jabs her black-painted finger at them. "He's got a bigger heart than the both of you combined."
"Samantha, please." her mom says, exasperated. They both give her disapproving looks, Sam thinks about grabbing champagne off the tray of a nearby waiter and throwing it in their faces. "You defend that boy far too much. What do you actually know about him and his family?"
Sam sets her jaw, puffing herself up like a dragon protecting its hoard. She steps into her mom's space. "I know that he loves the stars; you can ask him anything about astronomy and he could give you an entire lecture on the formation, class types, and various gasses that stars are made up of. He can tell you how the Earth was formed, he can tell you about the visible light spectrum and about light curves, and a whole ton of other stuff that I don't really understand. But Danny loves talking about it."
Her face twists and scowls, "I know he cares a ton about the environment and about fixing light pollution, and preserving the forests and natural habitats of animals." She nearly jabs her finger into her mom's chest, "I know he loves dogs, and that there's one he feeds every day on the way to school that he calls Cujo, its a St. Bernard puppy and Danny carries him around whenever he sees him after school, and is in the middle of training him."
It's not a total lie, but it's not the whole truth either. Cujo doesn't need food, but Danny gives him it anyways. "I know he likes spicy food and loves movies but specifically only sci-fi and horror, and he hates most martial arts movies. His favorite superhero is the Martian Manhunter, but Batman comes in at a close second." For reasons to her that were pretty unknown, but it didn't matter.
"I know he loves wordplay and making puns, which I would have never expected from him when we first met, but it's so unbelievably Danny-like that I can't imagine him not making puns." And she smiles a little to herself, she remembers the first time Danny intentionally made a pun once and it got startled laughs out of both her and Tucker.
Her smile suddenly falters, and she swallows. Her lips purse up, wobbling, and she very quickly glances over to Damian Wayne, of whom is watching her with a vaguely bewildered expression alongside Bruce.
She turns her eyes back onto her parents. "And I know that he worries a lot, even if he has a shit way of showing it. I know he had a little brother that he hasn't seen since he was adopted by the Fentons, and he doesn't talk about him often but when he does he he calls him 'starlight'." From the corner of her eye, she sees Damian jerk.
"So- so, so what if he's not 'good for polite company'." Sam's voice, embarrassingly, cracks down the middle. But she's so angry over Danny's behalf that she doesn't really care. "Or that he can be mean, and critical, and stubborn. He's learning, and he's becoming kinder by the day. That's more than I can say about you."
(She remembers when Danny finally admitted to her and Tucker being his 'closest friends'. It was sometime before the portal incident, and it felt like a milestone because beforehand he only really referred to them as his companions or allies.)
(At the time, he'd looked unsure of himself. Skittish like a stray in the back of an alleyway, almost shy in his own way. It had come out stilted, slow, like an infant taking its first steps, and it would have been endearing if it hadn't been heartbreaking.)
Her parents rear back like she'd struck them, and her mother holds a hand against her chest in aghast. Sam doesn't care, she blinks the sting out of her eyes. "Samantha." Her mother starts.
Sam cuts her off, "I don't care what you have to say, you-- you pricks." she snaps, around her, there are gasps. Belatedly, she realizes she's grown an audience, but again she doesn't care. "Danny might be an asshole, but he cares. And I'd rather be around someone whose mean but cares, than someone whose nice but doesn't."
With that, she whirls on her foot and turns on Bruce Wayne, who has been silent the entire time with a surprised expression on his face. He starts to shake out of it when Sam turns to him, but she doesn't give him the chance to speak. "Enjoy your party." She snarls, and then stalks away.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#danyal al ghul au#older brother danny#sam is one protective gal. this scene went differently in my head. way differently. but alas. i am not complaining.#sam: if bruce wayne abandoned my best friend i'm gonna physically transform myself into a dragon and incinerate him. how dare he.#bruce and damian got to watch in real time as a random girl who knows danny suddenly realizes he's related to them. which is comical to me#because she suddenly goes from being disinterested but weirded out by damian. to suddenly looking at bruce like she's gonna kill him#which is very funny to me bc from their pov at first its like this random girl just speedran hating bruce. and then her parents bring up he#friend danny and then she calls him danyal. and suddenly its starting to click into place like 'oh fuck wait we may just have a lead on --#-- finding danyal and his whereabouts.' especially after sam's mom mentions the scar on his face. like wow. what a crazy ten minutes.#not seen but def happened: sam gets her phone out to go text danny in the corner. she's not gonna bring up the bruce thing yet. she needs#a pick me up. related note: danny and tucker know she's gone to some gala thing with her parents but not to a wayne gala. if danny had know#he may have told her that he was related to damian wayne. just to prepare her for that. not so sure on the writing in this one folks#but i also dont wanna go through and edit anything its like half past one in the morning and i also dont wanna wait until morning to post#when i can just do it now. and get instant serotonin. i thought of this scene in various ways. like sam calling damian 'danny' out of shock#and then quickly correcting herself. and then excusing herself very quickly. or her mentioning that damian resembles her friend danny a lot#so she was just thrown off by him. because i def think that could happen if sam has no reason to think that she needs to hide danny from th#waynes. i also thought about her parents mentioning that damian resembles danny a little bit. only for one of them to go 'oh no no couldn't#- be. how insulting to damian since the daniel they know has this horrid scar on his face.' and then go from there. either way i thought#a scene like this would be fun. get to also kinda explore how danny looks like from his friends' povs. of which he is#'our lovable jerk who is an ex-cult member and whom we will maim someone over.'#not a scene that was added but i wanted to: sam mentioning in parenthesis that she and tucker think danny was part of a cult prior to the#fentons. and that sometimes danny will say something alarming and sam and tucker will stare at him until he frowns and goes#“that... isn't normal. is it?” and tucker will clap his shoulder and cheerfully go “no buddy. no it isn't” bc i think the idea is funny.#sam is so focused on the idea that bruce abandoned/ignored/was unaware of danny's existence that she momentarily forgot that bruce may have
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i go back to this drawing like once a week because i just cannot fully comprehend I MADE him. like I made him up he exists because I decided he would. he's so cool how the fuck did I do that
As promised, the Eramos reference sheet! I keep going back and forth for him being 6'3 or 6'4, it's such a little thing but I seriously can't decide lol
Next up will probably be Xing or Kiora, since they're the next two most-relevant-to-plot characters. Probably Xing, since Kiora doesn't actually have a design yet, or I at least haven't drawn it out. Also probably gonna post a little thing of Era and Cyrus standing next to each other later to show their height difference? Also I wanna see how they look next to each other
Reblogs are super duper ooper appreciated :D
#hes so pretty how did i do it#how is it possible that *I* made someone so cool#like hes not even actually cool#but to me he is#its such a weird thing to grapple with#to look at something youve worked so hard on and flesh out so much#and really realise that YOU made it#like this post is kinda weird to use specifically since its just a character sheet#but when i think of era as a whole i have so much story and life in him#and to see all of that condensed into one drawing and have it actually LOOK like what i always imagined#hes real#hes real to me and its so fucking weird#i dont think anyone else really likes him all that much#like i dont think theres a favourite among people who see my art frequently but i still doubt era would stand out much#but to me hes everything hes just idk i love him man#is this what being a parent feels like#im so proud of him#im proud of him for existing and for growing and becoming himself throughout the story even though im literally the one writing him#im being gushy but idc hes so sweet and terrible and perfect and fucked up!!!#hes so human
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“he was mentally ill. this monster was a- was a sick fantasy. a product of his dementia.”
“…i saw it too. does that make me disturbed? demented? does… that make me sick too?”
#txf#the x files#dana scully#fox mulder#folie a deux#this episode … this EPISODE!!!!!!#genuinely so indicative of how much they trust each other….#between mulder just . having to rely on scully for the last part of the ep#scully thinking he’s off his fucking rocker and still looking into what he asks her to look into bc she TRUSTS him . bc she LOVES him !!!!#and maybe he’s a little nuts but goddamnit she will at least check it out !! just in case he’s right!!!#AND she lies for him all the time . i mean she always does this whenever he decides to go nuts But specifically in this ep…#looks skinner in the eye and goes . yea man im totally fully with mulder on this . and he’s definitely not being weird and i definitely kno#what’s going on with him#she lies for mulder all the time its soooo…#anyways . drawing wise this drove me nuts i hate drawing mulder . he’s so hard for me to draw#they’re kinda kirie and shuichi coded in the bottom part but . well . why not . might as well be#ALSOOO i chose that quote for the bottom bc . well . does she think he’s crazy? like actually for real?#i feel like every time scully talks about mulder (up to season five at least as thats where im at) its contained in some way?#in her reports . to family . to skinner . to mulder !#i think the only time she’s Really honest is in the confessional but even then…#bc its not like she’s against speaking her mind . i mean generally and situational but for ppl she’s close to she usually isnt#but when it comes to mulder it always feels contained and like she’s making excuses for him (he is always her exception .#llike whenevrr he gets some disease or affliction or whatever she ALWAYS jumps to going ‘but well… sometimes there’s this excuse’ and she#does this w a lot considering shes science focused but w mulder shes always like . well he ISNT crazy because uhhhh .#this hyperspecific scenario that is in no fuckin way the case)#but does she think he’s crazy? does HE think she thinks he’s crazy?#is he asking about this specific case or is he asking in general? over the entirety of the show?#its been five years scully. is he crazy? sick? demented?#has this all been a sick fantasy fueled by mental illness? youre the doctor scully . surely you have the answer?#anyways i dont think she knows . and if that is the case — what does that mean for her?
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more than one week i will be gone
translations and img descriptions in alt thing
#kabru is using casual language here even though ik he uses polite language for toshiro in jp#its just that it sounds weird to me for a 22 yo to use ho/po for a 26 year old they're friends with 😭😭 feels losyang eh#dungeon meshi fanart#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#toshiro nakamoto#kabru#namari#yes that thing on the last one is me yes i look like mithrun yes the scars do make it painful to move yes i am growing my hair out#kanal talk namari and kabru taglish truther btw . kanal talk is street talk for ppl who live near open sewers (me) iirc#lets be Real toshiro has to commute 6 hours everyday from his work to home i simply dont believe he owns a car. fuck cars forever#i just KNOW when its 8:50 pm on a saturday that man is BOLTING for the lrt-1 station train after 9 hours of work#namari is also a jeepney driver .im assigning every single commute vehicle to her get on the pedikab girl#to me kabru is that one guy who sat inside an empty jeepney and acted like he was a limo princess#i also have like 3 other drawings but i dont. what this post to get too long as it already is so i'll send those later...
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man it's him the man
#fkn hate this guy (giggles n kicks my feet whenever he appears) god i cant stand him#but actually he can go fuck off#just roll with it#jrwi riptide#niklaus hendrix#my art#im in too deep in this hyperfixation its like so bad i had dreams from separate nights abt it that were connected#it was like a continuation it was so weird fnc kissed for a second time is all that happened really#ok cus first one was that happening in an ep n then i woke up confused n then next night i had a dream i was sitting watching an ep n the e#ents from that previous dream just played out n i was like “what the fuck it was real”#but it wasnt real at all it was just my subconscious pranking me#anywayfs d oyou like the sparkles in the full moon for forf orofor the trio :) i cant rn im so destroyed uhm uhuh uhhhhgng
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The QSMP is looking for smaller English-speaking streamers, so I figured I'd take the time to introduce qsmpblr to none other than Eric "Condi" Condifiction!!
// this will contain (very minor) spoilers for jrwi riptide, apotheosis, bitb, some prime defenders, and the SCU //
Condi is an English-speaking Canadian who's a part of Just Roll With It (JRWI), the absurdly powerful dnd podcast he runs with his friends Bizly, Grizzly, and Slimecicle!! He plays several characters across their multiple campaigns, along with DM'ing his own campaign of Apotheosis. He plays/played Jay Ferin for Riptide, Rolan Deep for Blood in the Bayou, Sylnan Vengolor for Fated, Flynn Gustwind for Convergence, and Vyncent Sol for Prime Defenders. (plus something im probably forgetting whoops anyway)
He is insanely talented at rp and improv, with some of the more infamous and my favorite examples being episodes 53, 100, and 101 in JRWI: Riptide. The way he plays Jay Ferin is emotionally devastating and incredible, and she's genuinely brought me to tears multiple times. Though he plays his absolute heart out with every character he makes, she's just a neat example of his range and talent. Looking at the differences between Jay, the Navy's daughter, and someone like Rolan Deep, a lawyer returning to his hometown of Galloway to experience The Horrors™ is just wild man. Not to even mention everything he does with Vyncent and his multiple different characters inside him; along with everything he made for his own campaign of Apotheosis.
Something something charlie slimecicle calls him "God Gamer Condifiction." He's really good at video games dude I have no way to talk about this he just is its really scary honestly. On one of his more recent streams he went live playing Only Up! and he beat it in one go without any major setbacks, fast enough to refund the game and get all the money he spent on it back. Just for context.
He also has a background in minecraft roleplay specifically!! He was part of the SCU (Slimecicle Cinematic Universe) where he roleplayed several different characters. God!Condi and 100Days!Condi being the more defined ones. Everything he did in the SCU was nearly pure unscripted improv and incredibly impressive, and I highly recommend you go through and watch it!! (I go into detail on how to get into it on this post)
He doesn't just have background in the roleplay aspects of minecraft though, he was also briefly on SMPEarth and is skilled at regular minecraft too. He mainly strives at the roleplay aspects, but again the whole God Gamer Condifiction thing so ^_^
youtube
^ Here's a good example of his regular PVE skills in this video where his chat tortures him through a crowd control mod as he tries to build a cottage core lesbian house
youtube
^ Along with a link to of one of my all time favorite videos of his, which I think shows his humor and style of jokes off in a cool way :]
Overall I just really need my dnd guy to be in my favorite minecraft server so he can make so many SCU references with Charlie Slimecicle, then emotionally devastate us through the roleplay aspect. I really hope he manages to get in so everyone gets a taste of his amazing roleplay and gaming (i guess thats how im phrasing it) abilities :DD
Condifiction 👍
#i make yet anothet post just for me 👍#qsmp#qsmpblr#jrwi#its weird putting his first name but it feels wrong without it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#id in alt text#^_^#THIS ENTIRE THING TOOK WAY TO FUCKING LONG#ANYWAY‼️‼️ im so hyped he even expressed interest in this server dude#im literally qcondi truthing so hard 🙏🙏#if qcharlie is real than qcondi can be real PLEASE
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Fernando 2012 Chair Lore (source: me)
So I've been thinking a lot about Fernando sitting in this particular chair in the Ferrari garage in 2012 for [redacted] reasons:
Originally I just wanted to find more pictures of it for reference, and then went down a rabbit hole of 2012 pictures, trying to figure out when exactly the chair came to be. There's so many pictures of him in it, and it's so funny to me to imagine them hauling this super villain chair all around the world for him. And so now I'm obsessed with the evolution of it:
Pre-Chair - Australia to Bahrain:
He just had this little stool, well I should say big because it somehow still manages makes him look small. Clearly not comfortable; to paraphrase @sweatyflytrap, it's not conducive to his inner Shakespeare villain monologues
The Chair Appears - Spain
He suddenly now has this, aforementioned, super villain chair. Several things, why is it like this. It looks like a sim chair almost ngl. And then the weird plexiglass support is confusing me, like where did they get that. It furthers my narrative they just had this chair that they couldn't put in a car so they put that clear bottom on it. Anyways yes good, now he has somewhere to brood
The Chair Evolves - Silverstone
Look!! They gave him a booster seat!!!
The Chair is Now Here to Stay :)
I downloaded a truly horrible amount of pics him in this chair, so now you all must also look at them >:)
*he still had the chair in 2013, but I think they took it away from him in 2014 :( Is nothing sacred in this world??? I hope he got to take it home hahaha
#i now have a psychosexual relationship with this chair#and im also just obsessed with the range of it???#theres an equal amnt of pics where he looks like a hot evil villain and then also ones where hes all curled up on it cutely#the co-stars to this post are really all his different sunglasses and the sexy button up fireproofs#this was actually like a true derangment post#irdk what came over me and caused me to make this but it is very important lore actually and i care a lot about it#im just curious about the origins still#like theyre suddenly like in spain 'here is a present for your home race'#the upgrade in silverstone is still killing me. ik its to make it more comfy but like...its literally a booster seat im sorry#but yeah fernando is so real in these. i too would sit in this chair all the time#okay now stay with me bcs this is just vettonso pilled BUT#the difference btwn him and seb in their garages is so funny to me#seb was always sitting on the cabinets like curled up on them lounging on them kicking his legs over them like a kid on a counter etc etc#and then fernando just has a fucking bond villain chair#and you wonder why i ship them so heavily. scoff scoff#this is just a ref post to draw him and seb together on the cha- huh what wait who said that? what was that huh that was weird#fernando alonso#f1#formula 1#formula one#*would be so fucking funny to tag this as lore#fa14#we do a little bit of f1#catie.rambling.txt#normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion
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biggest complaint about you is your not a big enough hater about kralsei. Get rageful with it. Make a whole rant about how gross it is in canon. Let the rage take over
oh it takes everything i have to not say swears about it like every day trust me. i am kra/lsei number 1 biggest hater
#and number 1 biggest poly scc hater evidently (looks out on the sea of users who’ve blocked me/that I’ve blocked)#i hope I’m not in their thoughts bc they’re not in mine HDNDNNSNJ#that one I’ve just been louder about bc they’re my By Far favorite characters#but honestly I’m a lot more vindicated when it comes to My Hate Of K/ralsei#but anyway yeah its fucking weird even with what we see in canon. kris is uncomfortable around ralsei. they don’t want him to hug them aft#after the spam neo fight. ralsei tea heals them the least out of their friends. ralsei is +60 noelle is +70 susie is +120#noelle saying ‘hey that guy looks like asriel’ susie saying ‘he kinda looks like your mom’ (bc she’s never seen asriel)#kris probably looks at him and sees their brother But Not Quite.#AND I SWEAR TO FUCKIMB GOD. ‘whuh buh but kris clearly isn’t biological related! and then ralsei clearly isn’t Actually related to the dree#to the dreemurrs’ SHUT THE FUCK UP ! shut the entire fuck up ! even so. you don’t know shit actually !#look me in the fucking face and acknowledge. 1 adopted families are real families. don’t fucking start w that shit#2 if you look at someone who looks like your fucking Brother and go ‘would.’ there’s no saving you actually#kr/alsei likers are fucking weirdos you can take that one to the bank#not even getting into All the art I’ve seen of ‘kris Doesnr like ralsei but ralsei likes them and the player wants them together and ral#and ralsie is Using this to his advantage to Be in that relationship even though Kris Doesn’t Like It. fucking nasty.#the monarch’s court#stops pacing. smooths my hair. ok I’m normal again
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I dislike takes that Danse would be just as conservative in modernized aus when it's clearly shown his staunch views of things come from his time in the Brotherhood and his deep-rooted desire to belong to something with a greater purpose.
Not to mention lines that show much more open-mindedness that get overlooked for his harsher sentiments when you first meet him. Like the oppurtunity to be a part of something is why Danse fell so far into Brotherhood dogma and it doesn't negate the offense things he does but I feel like it's just lazy to be like "hmmm he'd def be racist" just so it aligns to his BoS beliefs.
#like i genuinely think he would like not fall into the military if he was in modern times because of all the other things he could do#he clearly has a passion for tech and mods and likely would find himself more useful as like a mechanic like at most hes one of those range#types or something but I feel like people equate his seriousness and him being a military man to closemindedness when its like having to ge#a new view point like we really dont know what he believed in before the BoS if he believed in anything at all outside of selling scrap to#survive before basically having an army recruiter have him join one of the scariest factions like why is the BoS so fucking violent???#like the BoS operates in such a way cause there is no civilian population like everyone is something or training to be so they arent really#fighting for anything but themselves at this point which is just a feedback loop of gaining more power and is not equatable to real#military people due to the fact most of the recruits are really born and bred to be soliders while say irl you have a family and country to#fight for and return to outside the military which is def grounding as Danse wouldn't be in the army 24/7 like in canon#idk its odd to me when a character that is has fantastic racism ergo the trope of bigotry to fake races people try to translate it to real#life especially when those races have not equivalent like tell me what is the irl equal to a fucking ghoul or super mutant like????#racism is not like a funny headcanon like making him a defrosting prude or by the book is whatever but he would not be a bigot just like a#narc or some shit hed tell on me for loitering but I know hed tear apart each voting party and likely the military for being self serving#and like knows all about it and it makes him sound like a politics nut but its more annoyance like I have such strong feelings about#characters who would be marginially better if they were not victums to the military like yes I believe we can fix Danse he just needs to#be around not war/the military for like a week and see people be happy existing like he doesnt know how to do that but this is a weird take#ive seen mostly from white fans that makes me super uncomfy like ur weird#anyway still fuck the brotherhood everyone is so rude like damn i know its the east coast but can we get a little hospitality fuck you#maccready was right brotherhood of squeal more like it dont worry porky we'll get you out (danse is porky btw)#fallout#fallout 4#fo4#paladin danse
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can ppl in this fandom like... stop... implying that transmasculinity in hcs or (especially) canon is shallow or misogynistic or even transmisogynistic on princible, like literally just by being prescent in someones mind or in the text. like that doesnt fuckin feel good. thats kind of really nasty to imply. if its not okay to say about other trans experiences, maybe dont say it about this one either. why is there a weird little exception here. yall KNOW how much that sucks to hear all day every day. what the fuck
#my t#idk how to tell the hs fandom that every piece of trans coding in roxy in hs1 can be read as transmasc too. like transfem and transmasc#at the same time from the EXACT same reasons. its almost like we all share experiences just by way of being trans. weird i know#its almost like being trans rlly truly highlights what it is to be human and how we are all in fact at the end of the day human together#i just want everyone to stop trying to 'poke holes' in other fans trans hcs FULL STOP across the board no matter who they are#or what the hc is. its needlessly hurtful and more often than not trips into real peoples dysphoria which then#makes the target more likely to lash out. so the person poking them abt it can do a ''SEE? THEYRE ALL MEAN ONE OF THEM#WAS MEAN TO ME JUST NOW'' routine. its so obviously a 'im not touching u!!!' playground maneuver like holy fuck grow up#if you wanna fight for transfem/me folks right to just exist random fans personal headcanons is not the fuckin time or place#the XY in roxys name could be read as her having been DMAB or it could be hussie having a long running giggle about him preordering#his own transmasculinity. roxys colour being pink could be bc shes a girl or it could be compcis!!!#roxys desperation for a bf is from loneliness in canon but its often read as her feeling like she needs one to be a real girl#it can ALSO be read as another aspect of him struggling with compcis and comphet esp w/ his fantasies abt being 'a mother'#yknow what i never fuckin see that rlly highlights the fact that this is just a shitty 'girls rule boys drool' thing? theres like. no#discussions on the potential of roxy being any kinda intersex. absolutely none. he could be mtftm for all you fuckin know#but oh yknow being mtftm is A Shallow Read so we cant have that. hs is only for girls didnt you know we need to terf- i mean turf#out every single instance of queer mascness bc its Evil in the text didnt you know#god help the fandoms word of god token trans boy dirk strider for 'choosing' his eternal misery while everyone else is enlightened#by way of transforming into a girl. bc we must place girlhood on an inhuman pedistal of perfection and niceness and joy and rainbows#like what IS this mahou shojo brand gender essentialism???? im fuckin sick of it#can we remember that girlhood isnt & wasnt safe or joyful for everyone & that that can translate into how we curate our fandom experiences
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#@ comment directed to me in a tag. i have not talked abt them anywhere publicly but if u were deep enough in the paint in 2020ish theyre#like not super surprising. i think i wanna get back around to the trolls in my reread (so itll b a while) before i say anthing solid#just so i can go in w intent to pay closer attention again but like#overall have a low opinion on most the troll boys insofar as i see that the narrative seems to also not care for them. they seem to exist#to serve narrative purposes & end up discarded when no longer relevant. ie they dont end up very interesting and thus i view#many fans with suspicion when they have 'boys disease' ie having an outsized focus on the boys of the story despite hs being by the end#an extremely female dominated text with a lot to say about masculinity as an opressive force#tavros and gamzee are the biggest bugbears here (only really beaten out in eyebrow raising by cronus and the male dancestors)#on account of fans of them often downplaying gamzee's misogyny that is core to his role as a charismatic cult leader (or worse#sending trans women death threats when they made the factual assesment that gamzee was written to be a weird misogynist calling it#character assassination etc. man 2020 was wild.) tavros mostly just ends up being an accessory to this crime tbh. though his genuinely#complicated relationship w vriska oft being flattened to villify vriska + an inability to actually read what tavros Says...#like. if you get rid of tavros' quirk. stammering and all. and read his lines. he's kind of fucking rude? and yeah its alternia they all ar#but i have my hesitancies wrt how people seem to infantilise him (a disabled character) to the point of ignoring his dialogue and flaws#when one of tavros' core conceits (u can argue if this is . like. something hussie should have stayed out of. like its not their lane) is#that shitty ppl online will be assholes but will be allowed to get away with it due to unrelated disability. which like. it was 2010 ig#but this is hit upon again with mituna being distinctly a 4 channer with real brain damage and speech issues & all his friends letting him#get away with shit he still clearly has the cognitive capacity to know is wrong. its very messily handled but. i dont rlly like tavros ig.#will b amazed if tumblr doesnt eat these tags i went on wayy too long. but im not putting this in plaintext for obvi reasons#lucabytereads
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Dick or no dick confirmation Pickles was always going to be trans to me anyways; if he's swingin' somethin that's phallo babes, if he's not then his t-dick fat. What's not to get.
#metalocalypse#jay talkin#I'm sorry they wrote that awful gross little man far too likeable and relatable to on a trans level#for me not to hoot and holler and cheer for the trans pickles agenda#changes nothing about his character arc or any of the show anyone is capable of being the kind of person he is#don't make the mistake of thinking thats exclusive to cis men#his transness wouldnt change that#only adds on an extra layer to him that i think works fantastically.#Listen that dude was rejected by his family driven to drink and drugs young to escape that ran away to be in a band#is called fucking Pickles of all things and refuses to tell anyone his real last name;#over the span of four seasons and two movies he slowly starts to learn to be for others what he never had#he becomes more caring more supportive#it's not a stretch to say he undoes some of the toxic masculinity he's been keeping himself shielded behind#and learns how to be a kinder man.#all of which have no contradictions with him being trans!#In fact it doesn't take much extra thought to find ways a lot of this can line up with some trans masculine experiences#i mean. Did no one else have a younger phase where they swung as far as they could into crass rude and uncaring ways#to try and assert their masculinity only to grow and realise that you can be a man and be more caring.#Did no one else have father issues. 1 800 come on now i know those are both shared experiences a lot of us have had LOL.#at the end of the day this show aired nearly 20 years ago and is finished. we're not getting more of it#so nothing is altered nor changed if pickles is canonically trans or not ok. its fine#i mean hell i dont even need canon confirmation hes trans to me and thats all i care abt#but i think if yr getting suuuuuper weird abt needing him not to be canonically trans you have some issues#and bio essentialist ideals of gender if you think only a cis man can act like he does#again. anyone can be like that. its not exclusive. him being trans would not change him in any way shape or form lol#AND ALSO GODDDUUUGH for once i love getting to see a guy pushing 50 whos depicted as trans#do you have any idea how dire and barren it is out here. we never get to see a trans guy older than 30 and whos not a pristine model#I WANT MORE OLD SHLUBBY SHITHEAD TRANS GUYS IN MEDIA
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Your brains so fucking large and I also think it’s awesome seeing ur takes on peeniss. There’s such a lack of just even headcanon discussions on how fucked Katniss and peetas entire relationship up until the very end of the story was created and dragged along.
I enjoy thinking of happy ending stuff, But Also, getting to talk about how their shared trauma doesn’t make them purely perfect for each other and how it leaves more room for hidden resentment and hatred and guilt is so so discussion worthy. Especially for katniss and especially when ur applying that dynamic to ivypool (i am insane for both) thank u for this meal
[floodgates opened] LITERALLY LITERALLY LITERALLY like first and foremost even BEFORE mockingjay peeta falls in love with katniss before knowing ANYTHING about her, and when she acts in a way that doesnt fit in with how he imagined her, he gets frustrated. in general he seems to have a very low opinion of her (im drawing them as cats so its relevant to this blog). he throws the shit his mother said in her face as if she had any control over it . she gets drunk ONE TIME and he focuses his criticism on her instead of HAYMITCH
he agrees to be friends with her and then he says that shit like "yeah i have nightmares but theyre just about losing you............ i feel better when i see you when i wake up......................" and katniss is like "i know he doesnt mean to make me feel bad" BUT ITS LIKE. WELL IF HES SO WELL SPOKEN THEN LIKE I THINK HE DOES????? I THINK HE KNOWS EXACTLY HOW IT COMES ACROSS WHEN HE SAYS SHIT LIKE THAT
and then AFTER mockingjay. first and foremost his personal trauma is being brainwashed into essentially dehumanizing her and believing that she was genetically engineered to torture him. so even in recovery for that shit, like. theres no way his nightmares don't heavily feature katniss as the antagonizing force. AND VICE VERSA. BECAUSE HE LITERALLY TRIES TO KILL HER TWICE. like i cannot wrap my head around how they would get together when katniss much flinch every time he reaches towards her like its fucking crazy to me. not to mention that the awful shit he said to her is so personal and so clearly shit katniss thought about herself .
none of this is to say katniss is perfect like she obv doesnt give half a shit about peeta 9 times out of 10 but idk. anyway. tl;dr:
but yeah katniss and ivypool are like. so similar in so many ways its very fun to apply my thoughts about one onto the other.
#anyway its sooooo much easier to hate fernsong publicly bc he has no personality and clearly a lot of ppl take issue w/ his existence#so hes the surrogate. for the real target of my ire.#sorry i have much more complex thoughts about their relationship and how it manifests especially years down the line#but im on a hater high i gotta talk about my true literary enemy#and i KNOW it must be a weird situation bc theyre forced into romantic scenarios and he DOES actually have feelings for her#but instead of trying to empathize and see how fucking uncomfortable she must be when . she does not feel the same fucking way.#ARRRRRRGH KILING HIM WITH HAMMERS FOREVER#DONT GET ME STARTED ON GALE BTW HES NOT SAFE
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some of the tags/notes on the smash or pass belos post ooo I've never been so disappointed
#did i tag that as white ppl website? i shouldve#like as a black person some of you do worry me 😭#'oh yall dont wanna fuck a monster if they a real Monster(evil)' not if theyre potentially RACIST and a white guy from SLAVE TIMES BE FR 😭#i dont think its weird to be like be like#'i dont think u should wanna fuck the guy that couldve been profiting from the slave trade' but maybe thats just me#and I Know thats not a canon detail 🙄 but like its very clear in the story hes a puritan (16/17th century) think on it a lil bit#racism not a real dealbreaker to white ppl tho so whatev whatev#kae.txt
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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people will just say anything
#its so weird trying to impose size difference shit on macden to me like its. so fucking funny.#dennis is the bottom so he must be smaller than mac (is taller than him and pretty much the same fucking size)#also like. weird as hell to intentionally misgender a real person too but i wont get into that. whatever. its cool and progressive now.#i swear twitter is one degree off transvestigating glenn if they havent already#personally! as a trans person! it's really fucking weird to equate smaller stature/more delicate features with she/her pronouns#like. even as a joke. i dont get why you would want to reinforce this kind of thinking#bc even if it is ironically done that kind of thinking is still affecting a general mindset#ada speaks
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