#this was actually like a true derangment post

[skitskatdacat63]

Fernando 2012 Chair Lore (source: me)

So I've been thinking a lot about Fernando sitting in this particular chair in the Ferrari garage in 2012 for [redacted] reasons:

Originally I just wanted to find more pictures of it for reference, and then went down a rabbit hole of 2012 pictures, trying to figure out when exactly the chair came to be. There's so many pictures of him in it, and it's so funny to me to imagine them hauling this super villain chair all around the world for him. And so now I'm obsessed with the evolution of it:

Pre-Chair - Australia to Bahrain:

He just had this little stool, well I should say big because it somehow still manages makes him look small. Clearly not comfortable; to paraphrase @sweatyflytrap, it's not conducive to his inner Shakespeare villain monologues

The Chair Appears - Spain

He suddenly now has this, aforementioned, super villain chair. Several things, why is it like this. It looks like a sim chair almost ngl. And then the weird plexiglass support is confusing me, like where did they get that. It furthers my narrative they just had this chair that they couldn't put in a car so they put that clear bottom on it. Anyways yes good, now he has somewhere to brood

The Chair Evolves - Silverstone

Look!! They gave him a booster seat!!!

The Chair is Now Here to Stay :)

I downloaded a truly horrible amount of pics him in this chair, so now you all must also look at them >:)

*he still had the chair in 2013, but I think they took it away from him in 2014 :( Is nothing sacred in this world??? I hope he got to take it home hahaha

[dirtyoldmanhole]

it kinda just hit me like a load of bricks how indescribably, textually horny the last few chapters of married-gunter!revelation are gonna be. :')

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

im thinking abt zero constructs again and i think its tough to really communicate the Vibe i want it to have but also i maybe never talked about it super in depth?

but anyway as a thesis statement it's mostly about how much faith you put into the evidence of your senses, and also the intrinsic gulf of understanding between all people. there's a fundamental youness to every person that never quite gets communicated through interactions. and then imagine the youness was erased from reality entirely, and then something else came in, a blank slate, unmolded clay, and tried to reconstruct the you out of the them; out of what everyone else thinks that person was like.

say the slate can perceive those thoughts and those preconceptions perfectly. could they be a perfect you even just from an external pov? how many people could they convince that they were the one they were replacing? because they can perfectly mimic what the other expects them to be like—but that's regardless of whether or not that perception is correct. they have no idea if that conversation partner misperceives them, is overlaying their own biases or malformed beliefs onto the personal idea of them.

so that's dusk and helic. continually-updating copies of deleted people, trying to convince society at large that they haven't changed at all.

meanwhile they're cooking in these bad templates, all these people who half-know them or don't know them at all, immediately judging them based on a scarce glance. meanwhile that snap judgement becomes a part of them because they're such well-polished prisms, they're made to be mirrors.

and then barry and emmet show up, and after months-to-years of these bad copies, they're faced with the two people who know their original basis better than anyone in all the world. and oh god, oh fuck, they had it all wrong. they've got to scramble in the milliseconds they're given to try and throw up a better front; how was dusk supposed to guess how much dawn liked touch, that it would be immediately and distressingly wrong for her to not tackle-hug her friend after so much time apart? how was helic supposed to intuit that it wasn't just a resting face, ingo never really smiled, but his subtle-shift version of a 'smile' was immediately recognizable to his loved ones anyway? they didn't know, they were perfect mirrors but they didn't ever really know—

...on the other end of this, though. the b-side and the first thesis. you thought you lost the most important person in the world and now they're standing in front of you again, and you, right now, gun to your head, say that they're not real. it's not even a matter of wanting, this isn't about pretending to themselves because they want it to be true. it's just that—it's been a while, they've gone through so much, and so much more importantly, what if you're wrong? are you willing to gamble on the chance that you've just told the real them you've changed so much that i don't even recognize you as yourself anymore?

but more generally "i think they've been replaced by a construct" is a completely bonkers thing to say about someone unprompted. if we're talking snap judgements then humans really prefer it when things go how they expect. it makes way more sense for the thing that walks like dawn and talks like dawn to actually be dawn, ditto with ingo. so then the question becomes, once they get cozy with that assumption, how much doubt does it take to make that mental jump? how high do you need to stack the differences before it tips?

on both sides it's about believing one thing, without even really having to think about it because duh, of course, and then the slow realization creeps up on you from behind, that the entire time, you've been horribly wrong.

[cottonfeltgembira]

i know nothing about gundam but i want op to know as guy who likes to wear purple and is currently drinking coffee out of a lavender colored mug (and as of recent, obsessively in love with a blonde... lord help me) i felt like i was hit with God's own revelation with this post cause omg... like almost two weeks ago i was color picking Louis to do an analysis on his color design so i was like "you know white doesnt really count which leaves Louis' colors being yellow and blue so... whats the secret tertiary color for louis then?" and well. yeah

metaphor refantazio's purple guys: a scientific study

this is a mirror of a short thread i wrote on bluesky as a fun exercise a while back, revitalized by the fact that louis's page in the exhibition pamphlet has sparked some realizations about the characters in his orbit:

this breakdown will be according to my friend luna @prezaki 's seminal work of scholarship analyzing every purple gundam character to define the characteristics of the character archetype, as metaphor's purple characters are, in my belief, a fascinatingly rare example of what is otherwise a fairly franchise-specific trope leaving the confines of gundam. that louis is a char clone is fairly apparent if you any familiarity with the beats of the trope (blonde military prodigy, concealing his identity for ulterior motives, intense rivalry with the young protagonist, etc - the charadrius is even zaku red and was designed by a UC gundam fan) but while out-of-franchise char clones are quite common, they rarely bring a garma (or other orbital purple guys) along with them.

as luna's thesis states, the core defining characteristics of the gundam purple are as such:

Obsessive

Love

For a blonde

this basic personality structure was put in place with garma zabi (original purple guy and fujoshi sex symbol for decades past his surprisingly brief tenure in gundam 0079 itself), and as gundam has grown more self-referential this has crystallized into a defined archetype.

these will be the character beats i'll be looking at for the metaphor characters, starting with

CIRSIUM ZORBA

Obsessive: ✔️✔️✔️

Love: ✔️✔️✔️

For a Blonde: ✔️✔️✔️

zorba is the first of the purple characters introduced, and the most obvious 1:1 match for all of these traits. his obsessive devotion toward louis utterly defines his character to the point that you'd be hard pressed to give even a basic description of him without addressing it.

notably, with how overtly in love with louis zorba is, his general position as a direct subordinate singlemindedly fixated on his superior officer above all else, and the rose motifs in his designs, he's specifically evocative of gundam unicorn's angelo sauper.

IDAEUS GLODELL

Obsessive: ✔️

Love: ✔️*

For a Blonde: ✔️

glodell, meanwhile, is obsessive in the form of obsessive rivalry rather than obsessive love. he, like zorba, utterly revolves around his relationship to louis - he's driven by his mix of admiration, envy and resentment toward him from his introduction to his death, and his conflicting desires to both earn louis's approval in return and surpass louis motivate everything he does along the way.

*love, on the other hand, instead relates to his relationship with his dog, hector - it is repeatedly established by outside dialog that glodell does very sincerely love hector, to the point that his care for him is what keeps hector's melancholia stable. for a character where this is more or less his only redeeming quality, i think this handily earns him the point for the "love" theme.

FIDELIO MAGNUS

Obsessive: ✔️

Love: ✔️

For a Blonde: ✔️✔️ (two of them)

true to luna's original analysis of the archetype in gundam, while fidelio's "obsession" is not nearly as consuming as zorba's or glodell's, his intense personal loyalty toward louis does still count for the point. louis is, by his own definition, the only person he trusts other than his family, and has been the major driving force in his life for years.

meanwhile, while louis is not his love interest, his unrequited love for junah is another major part of his character, neatly earning him the point for love as well - and junah is another blonde! two of them!

and finally, for the one significant(-ish, enough to have a portrait) purple character outside of louis's faction:

MILO ADRIANO NARCISSUS MAURIZIO

Love: ✔️

milo lacks the other major factors, but despite his minimal role, he is quite definitively a love-themed character right down to his name - it's just self-love, in his case.

so, in summary:

all of the characters orbiting louis are obsessive in some way

all four purple characters have love as a major theme of their characterization

all of the characters orbiting louis' obsession and/or love are centered around at least one blonde (mainly louis himself)

all of the characters orbiting louis hit all three key purple characteristics

considering the scarcity of garma clones (and other purples - angelo, the character most alike to zorba, is a lalah clone who is also purple) alongside out-of-franchise char clones, it's fascinating to see how effectively this archetype was carried over into a completely separate canon.

[playerprincess]

Why the Sol Soulmate Theory SUCKS

I‘m kidding (sorta), this is clickbait.

But let’s actually talk about it!

Disclaimer: This is no hate to the people that came up with the Soulmate theory, it is in fact a very good theory! The title is really just clickbait and I thought it was funny. English isn’t my first language, but I tried to explain everything well. If something is hard to understand just ask and I‘ll try to explain it differently. Contains spoilers for the tkatb game.

For those of you who don’t know the theory: It‘s kind of hard to pinpoint the exact post everybody is talking about since there’s more than one, but if you want to get a feeling for what it‘s about I‘d recommend reading this or this.

————————————————————————————

"Well, if the theory doesn’t suck, then what even is your problem??"

While the theory in itself doesn’t suck, I do have a few issues that I would like to go over just in case anybody feels the same way. There is a lot of indications that this theory is true (see the links above for more), and obviously if something is hinted at this much there will be some truth stuck to it.

I personally feel like the theory that MC and Sol are actually soulmate kind of defeats the purpose that Sol is supposed to be a delusional Yandere. It gives him an actual "reason" to obsess over MC, because in the grand scheme of the universe, MC is actually connected to him in a way. The soulmate troupe is generally used for romance after all, wich kind of goes against what the visual novel is supposed to be.

I enjoy Sol‘s character as much as the next person, but from what I‘ve gathered from fantasia-kitt and the information that were given, tkatb is not a dating sim, but rather a horror visual novel. At least that’s how Fantasia wants us to see the game as. And again, while I believe the theory in itself fits into the story perfectly fine, I think fantasia didn’t really intend for it to be taken the way that it is.

"My game is not a romance game, it's a thriller/horror game." - Fantasia

When I first played it, I only had the free version downloaded. After enjoying the story however, I decided to go back and pay for the additional nsfw version (for educational purposes of course ;) ), and I feel like the games’ horror aspect shines through so much more because of those few added scenes. Obviously part of me enjoyed the spice, I‘m not going to sit here and lie in your faces, but the information that was added with this specific version also helped me see Sol in the way fantasia initially intended us to; a fucking weirdo.

Take the highly controversial infamous 🍇 scene for example. Of course it’s already weird enough that he breaks into MCs house and drugs them in the sfw version, but to me it really conveyed the type of yandere Sol happens to be. The lengths he is willing to go to satiate his delusions, how deranged and mentally unwell this guy actually is. People tend to forget that yanderes aren’t only obsessed jealous people, and I think fantasia did a fine job at conveying that. Sol is in fact not a good person.

What does this have to do with the soulmate theory?

Like I said before, Sol is highly delusional. And not in a "I‘m so delulu I‘m just a guy" way, but he is actually delusional enough the believe that MC is in fact his soulmate.

You know how people for example take everything as a "sign" that something is supposed to happen? Like when you see your initials next to the person you like in a TikTok post and think "damn, this can’t be a coincidence", or when a horoscope gives you advice that perhaps fits your current situation perfectly well. Those are delusions. You’re being delusional.

Sol is obsessed with the MC to a degree he actually believes that they must’ve been together in every lifetime. That just has to be it, there’s no other possible way. But MC knows nothing about this guy. They didn’t even realize they shared a class together. Sol stalks MC probably every day, drugs them, and sneaks into their house to live out his weird ass fantasies for a reason we don’t yet know. He‘s deluded himself to a point that he actually thinks that it’s fate, that it must be destined by the universe.

Fantasia says themselves that Sol is narrow minded and deranged. We know he’s a virgin with no former experience in romance and dating. Perhaps he’s never even had a crush before. Maybe his first reaction to all these new feelings that he doesn’t understand is that this must be sent by the universe. The pull he feels towards MC must be something out of this world, it can’t just be normal romantic attraction. I mean, he asks Hyugo to kill him after MC dies in ending 1, this guy is absolutely fixated on the MC to a point where it’s just plain psychotic.

I‘d also argue that Sol‘s feelings towards MC can be described as "Love", but we won’t get into that now.

"The yandere is not in love with you, they lust after you, they are delusional enough to believe that what they feel is genuine love when in fact, love like that is never real nor to be accept in the first place. You should feel repulsed by their actions." - Fantasia

And while he does feel all these strong feelings, he can’t even explain why he views them as a savior/angel. He might be MC‘s stalker, but he doesn’t truly know them. He just idolizes them.

"[…] that I finally got to write down what he is capable of, that he is irredeemable and having Crowe as his source of hatred just because he is close to the MC shows his narow-mindedness, he is sick in the head. Sol is not mild, he is on the EXTREME level of yandere, he is DERANGED and I will keep writing him like that." -Fantasia

"The way Sol sees MC is special, he sees them no one else can, just like a lover would. A lover would see their significant other that other people don't understand." -Fantasia

The soulmate theory is good. But I feel like because it is so good it would be so much better if it wasn’t actually true (or if it had some sort of twist to it). Everything aligns perfectly. Sol used to be the executioner in a past life and couldn’t be with the MC, so naturally he’d try everything to get them to love him in this life right? Except there is no past life. Sometimes coincidences line up so perfectly that we actually believe that there’s value behind it, a greater meaning. The bruise on his neck, his tendency for violence, it just has to mean something right?! Maybe he can make MC see, make them realize that yes, Sol is absolutely right with his Soulmate theory, they’re meant to be!

"He says that you're the one even though you've only met him once." - Fantasia

It feels like such a perfect theory to make the MC believe that they’re really destined to be together by the universe. The perfect theory to manipulate a naive person into thinking that their hearts beat as one, that their Soulstrings are carefully tied together by fate‘s own hands. Except they’re not. It’s all made up. A well conducted story to lure MC in and make them believe they’re his.

It’s easy to slip into the "Oh, but we’re actually soulmates so he can’t really help it" in my opinion, so I‘m not really fond of this theory. MC is just a normal person. They’re not special, not tied to him in any way. He just let’s himself believe it. And he wants you to believe it too.

"[…] I don't want people to excuse Sol, I don't want people to develop an unhealthy relationship and idea with a yandere." - Fantasia

"You could already tell he's trying to charm you (and its working) to get you to trust him so he can do all the nasty stuff. […] Not only he got to fool the MC but YOU, the player, as well." - Fantasia

Maybe I‘m just biased since I don’t particularly enjoy the amnesia and/or reincarnation trope very much, I feel like it has a lot of potential that never gets fleshed out in a satisfying way. In the case of tkatb, I think I wouldn’t really enjoy the reveal of it if it were the case. But at the end of the day fantasia can do whatever they want with it (as they should), and if that’s the course they want to take then that’s perfectly fine.

What kind of stops me from having a strong opinion is that we don’t really know what Fantasia’s understanding of Soulmates is. Maybe they have a special way of viewing the trope, maybe they don’t even believe in it at all privately! Some people for example think soulmates are always romantic, while others think they can be platonic as well. How do they categorize its meaning? Does their personal opinion influence their story?

But that’s just my opinion. It’s totally fine if you have a different theory or if you don’t agree, it’s just a game after all!

I think the idea that they’re soulmates in itself isn’t bad. It could be a device to show the player that even tho there is a soul connection, it doesn’t justify Sol‘s behavior and he’s taking it way too far. And if the reincarnation theory is true, maybe Crowe could be our true soulmate. He serves as a direct counterpart to Sol after all, so why not? Sol says "It‘s always him", in regards to what he thinks about Crowe. Maybe he’s trying to convince himself that it’s not Crowe who is MC‘s soulmate, but him instead. Because in his mind, that makes much more sense.

Conclusion

I think that the theory in itself works in the world of tkatb, however I feel like the issue lies more in the way that people receive it. It gives the player a reason to sympathize with Sol, after all he "just wants to be with his Soulmate", right? But I think Fantasia wanted to implement this trope to empathize how selfish Sol is, and that he doesn’t actually care about what his Soulmate wants. Personally, I believe that if you’re someone‘s soulmate, you should want to see them happy. And Sol clearly isn’t happy with MC when they pick Crowe over him (wich results in Crowe‘s brutal death). It’s something that he‘s using as an excuse to justify his obsessive behavior and should perhaps be treated as such.

"You hate him? That's good! That's the whole point of his character! You're SUPPOSE to hate him!" - Fantasia

And again, we know way too little of the worldbuilding and plot to actually know for sure. I think it’s way more likely that I‘m proven wrong in the future than the others. I just wanted to share my thoughts hihi

Pryn out.

[furiouszealot]

UPDATE: As of 25/04/2025, 4chan is back up and running again. This post and its addendum will be kept as is, and will no longer be updated unless it goes back down again. If you were on /ghost/, it was a pleasure shitposting with you.

All right, I know no one gives a shit, but let me give you a recounting of the fall of 4chan from the perspective of someone who was there and has been lurking both 4chan and tumblr for a few years now.

I'll try to provide as much context as I can, but a lot of images were either lost or im too lazy to look for them in the +5000 reply thread in soyjak party.

Anyways, info below:

So, necessary context: a few years back, 4chan had a board called /qa/, which if you know little about the page, you may think every board is like /b/ or /pol/, which means a containment cess pool of grifters, (you) baiters, incels, and other deranged individuals. The thing is, /qa/ was somehow worse. The entire board was plagued and infested with soyjack edits, board culture was a nuclear disaster, anons were incredibly hostile in there, you know the drill, the big bad 4chan, but this time its actually true.

One day, moderation deleted /qa/, anons that posted there got mad, tried to raid other boards, failed, and then moved on to an altchan called soyjack party, which entire purpose you can guess from its name alone.

Apparently, the boards that allow pdf uploads (paper and origami, for example) didn't check if the uploaded file was actually a pdf file, so postscript files could be used to get access. This is as far as my understanding of web backend goes, sorry.

The hacker claims to have been working on this since 2021, and that he had access since about a year ago, but was recopilating data.

Now, what actually happened when the hack ocurred? Well, a banner of miku dancing with a song that played automatically was placed on top of every board, with the text "/QA/ IS BACK", this was possible because apparently no board was ever deleted, they were just hidden from the public.

A thread was then made on soyjack party, claiming authorship over the hack, and shit went south from there. Anons went en masse to talk there, a lot of weird discussion happened, the thread got the bump limit removed and got pinned, more than 5k posts were amassed on the first night alone. Keep in mind this happened at about 8 pm and most of the stuff went on through midnight.

So, the hacker leaked some things, first of all, the html files for the entirety of /j/ and the email address for every moderation member (important note: the pressence of .gov mails was disproven by the hacker themselves, so i guess there were never any feds), what is /j/? the board exclusive for jannies and moderators to discuss actions taken on the website regarding spam, ban evaders, threads spiraling out of control, etc. Among other things, some of the inner workings of 4chan got revealed, such as the web extension for jannies that allows them to do their job easily, how reports are handled, and other stuff. (Anecdotically, some guy got permabanned for calling anons jews or n-words over a 100 times in the same few threads)

Then, the source code got leaked. Important to say, the hacker removed the part of the source code related to the captcha, as to not facilitate bot attacks on the future, and all information related to email verification or 4chan pass users information also got removed, so all in all users are safe.

What was found on the sourcecode? That it was old, mostly. Most boards used code that hasn't been updated since about 2016, and /flash/ used the exact same code from when it was created back on 2011.

From there, desuarchive, a site that archives threads that die from bump limit, opened a dragon ball general on ghost mode, and thus began what later got called /ghost/, a solely text based thread with well over 20k replies as of right now, where a fraction of the 4chan population took refuge and is currently discussing random things with no particular topic. Kinda hard to read, but its comfy.

What does this mean for other sites? Not a lot, really. A lot of anons already crossposted in 4chan and tumblr already, and the ones that din't most likely wont come here. Some of the bigger/most dedicated groups, like /vt/, migrated to other boards. Various altchans are trying/tried to catch some of the flock of users that got lost, but i doubt it will get anywhere, since soyjak party for example was struggling with just the influx of users that came for the hack thread given its poor infrastructure. Kiwifarms saw a surge of new accounts apparently, but a lot of anons kinda loathe the idea of having to register, so theres that.

Smaller communities, such as generals that didn't get a lot of traffic, or boards on the slower end (say, /ic/, /lit/, etc) will probably vanish or disseminate until (or if) 4chan comes back up. I'd say give it a month, don't get your hopes up whether you want it to stay dead or want it to come back.

Given how many anons are staying on places like /ghost/ or other similar archives with the same ghost posting feature, i doubt it will be as bad as people are making it sound. Besides, the communities that are most likely to migrate to places like tumblr are either /co/, /vg/ or /lgbt/ refugees, which aren't THAT bad. Not every board was like the main cesspools (/b/, /r9k/, /pol/).

From now on, either 4chan comes back up in a few weeks (somewhere between 2 weeks to a month is expected), altchans capture the migrating anons, or a brand new imageboard rises from the ashes to become the new go-to site for old 4chan posters.

In conclusion, nothing ever happens, but also don't worry, chances are this won't affect tumblr in the slightest. If it does, you can cash in your "you were wrong" ticket whenever you want, i'll take the L.

As a footnote, keep in mind: NO users were compromised, if you ever posted there and are worried for your safety, physical or digital, you are safe.

Edit: Forgot to add, if you are a 4chan refugee, im BEGGING you to dm me and tell what board you were from and where are you migrating, if at all.

[mdemn]

update: something was posted today . read it here

i will have Something posted by sunday. I Think

[bambi-kinos]

What’s up with paul obsession with sex?? Im seeing many posts about paul being asked different things and he doing a 180• and answering about sex?

Some people are just naturally more horny than others. Paul is just kind of like that and always would be no matter where his life went.

Paul was initiated into a world of no-limits sex when he was 18 years old and he was made a man through the introduction to truly wild sexual expression in Hamburg. He was introduced to sexual ideas and scenes that he never imagined existed and would probably shock even us internet people.

Once he knew that kind of horny could be on tap, there's no way he was going back to an ordinary life of a wife who put out once every 2 weeks. He is telling the truth when he said he wanted to be a rockstar so he could have sex with a lot of girls. The Hamburg residency was not just musical, it was also sexual and Paul put a lot of effort into studying music and sex. And yes if you want to be good at it then you have to make it a discipline and a study and you have to practice. A lot of Paul's sexual interests were first practiced on brothel girls who were up for anything and he clearly learned a lot.

His best mate was John Lennon, a guy notoriously against restrictions. John encouraged Paul's sexual expression as he did for thousands if not millions of women all over the globe. There are lots of people with stories about spending the night with John and coming out as different people on the other side.

Paul is terrified of being alone but not willing to commit to true intimacy. Sex is an easy way to have someone's physical company for a few hours but he can jettison a sex worker the moment she becomes too much trouble. Some people have emotional support dogs, Paul has emotional support hookers.

Paul demands artificial closeness where he is benefitting materially from his time and mental investment but he still controls the field and sets the terms. This defines most if not all of the non-Beatle relationships in his life. See: Nancy Shevell, Jane Asher, Robert Fraser, Jane Asher's mother. All of these relationships while supposedly "deep" and "close" all end up mirroring Paul's patronage of prostitutes. They are for his emotional and/or material benefit and he will end them the moment they become inconvenient no matter how personally fond of them he may be. See: Heather Mills, Jane Asher's family when she broke up with him.

Sex is an emotional and material benefit for Paul that doesn't require a lot of work or investing from him because he has something they want. For sex workers this is his money and his company; for regular people it's his money and his company and the illusion that they have a special relationship with him. Paul even gets an additional bit of chuff from selling this illusion and he enjoys their emotional back and forth while knowing he has the power to end it at any moment. Very reassuring for a lonely control freak. All of it is a form of prostitution.

Coping with his own PTSD from Beatlemania and a traumatic upbringing. Paul, like the other Beatles, was sexually assaulted, chased, yanked, punched, spat on, forcibly kissed, and stalked by deranged fans. This is on top of his childhood with abusive parents that couldn't decide what they actually wanted to teach their kids.

Frankly I think that Paul's sex obsession is a response to the parentification he experienced when Mary died and responsibility for the entire household dropped on him all at once. See the "but what will we do without her money" quote which was the exact moment that Paul realized he was now head of the household no matter what Jim said or did. Sex becomes a comfort/distraction/break/escape as a result. Remember, Paul was partially driven into John's arms because Jim was beating Paul at home.

John was very horny and Paul mirrored his actions and desires. John and Paul were not just mirroring each other musically or emotionally, they mirrored each other sexually as well. The timing of Linda's first pregnancy implies to me that Paul wanted to try for a baby because Yoko was pregnant. The end result was Mary.

John mentored him sexually and eased him into uncomfortable but still safe situations like the group wanks to further mold Paul's desires in a direction John liked. He encouraged Paul's revealed preference for enjoying feminization by putting him in the position of being John's girlfriend/wife, something John likely picked up on when Paul fed him toast as a teenager. Many of Paul's sexual habits and needs were shaped and fostered by John into something that complimented his own. That is why John took Paul to Paris to play the part of "Mrs. Lennon on honeymoon" and not Cynthia. Remember that Paul affirmed John's masculinity in their relationship by putting John's package at the center of this photograph of them coming out of the Louvre:

John is obsessed with sex and has a high sex drive, Paul drove his higher to compete and match this, they were fucking like bunnies, the end. Now John is gone and part of the wreckage left by his passing is that Paul has an unbearable sex drive and no one he can trust to exhaust him properly. They learned how to fuck girls together and then how to fuck each other, together. The most formative relationship of Paul's life was centered around sex.

None of this is a shitpost btw I am being completely sincere with all of this.

[wordslikesilver]

I am once again thinking about Hoarah Loux, the only man Marika ever trusted and the only man she ever loved. It’s such an insane thing to think about the fact that the second last boss of Elden Ring is Some Guy. He is literally just A Human Man. Marika looks at this fucking raving barbarian man and decides to My Fair Lady him into a Lord like the deranged woman she is by assigning him a babysitter to perpetually gnaw on his neck whenever he’s in public. As insane as all that sounds, let’s break down that imagery a little because it’s actually really good! His babysitter is the king of beasts, a lion named Serosh, who digs his claws and his fangs into Hoarah Loux’s body to keep him suppressed and restrained enough in temperament to now be fit to be named Godfrey, The First Elden Lord of Queen Marika.

Serosh is frankly quite mysterious as far as what he actually is goes but as far as story themes go, he’s a really interesting symbol of lordship. The lion basically IS Godfrey’s crown, it’s what makes him Godfrey. The symbolism is essentially stating in a very overt way that this man is more savage than all the beasts of the world. In Elden Ring, beasts with five fingers indicate an enlightened or elevated intelligence, blessed by the greater will. It’s fascinating how it’s basically stating that Serosh is more intelligent, refined and noble than Hoarah Loux, that this man is more wild and savage than the greatest of all the beasts in the world. That only a beast king could teach this man to be a Lord. Godfrey can rip him apart anytime but he doesn’t. It takes more than strength of body to wear a crown and he knows it. He needs Serosh to honour and do right by Marika. He is showing his opponents a courtesy, as he puts it. Morgott takes after his example and so too is Radahn inspired by him. It’s really wonderful imagery.

There’s more to the symbolism. My knowledge of alchemy is, I completely admit, too surface level to elegantly speak at length but I’ve done some light reading online to back up my confidence in what I’m saying. We know Miyazaki loves dark edgy anime like Berserk and I posit that he also gained inspiration from the anime/manga Hellsing, in which the main character recites the line “I am the bird of Hermes, eating my own wings to make me tame.” This line comes from the Ripley Scroll and is theorized to have many meanings but popularly is presumed to mean giving up higher philosophy and knowledge to live normally on the earth as a human. Miyazaki uses lots of alchemical symbolism in his works, Elden Ring especially (go watch Quelaag’s videos!) so I could be totally full of shit about hellsing but I’m completely confident that Godfrey is meant to be an inversion (like literally everything else about his character) of what the Bird of Hermes represents. Godhood is a prison, a shackling. The entire plot is Marika (and Ranni tbh) trying to escape that imprisonment. Godfrey loves Marika enough to chain himself down, to eat his own wings, to pull out his own teeth and claws for her to make himself tame and ascend to lordship.

What’s especially fascinating about him is that he carries Serosh out into the badlands with him, as the opening cutscene shows. Cut dialogue indicates he already knew the Elden Ring would shatter and the tarnished would be beckoned to return. That Marika told him her plan in full before she took from him and his warriors the grace of gold and sent them away. A line from him saying to trust in gold, always, that it will guide our fates to our true destiny has wonderful implications I would certainly love to expand on in another post maybe. Hoarah Loux was just a human man and Marika trusted him enough to tell him everything. Trusted him with her gambit to escape the shackles of godhood. This is the fascinating part about taking Serosh with him. Keeping himself disciplined enough to remain a Lord when he returns. To hold back his aching heart just enough that he could follow through on this dark plan and allow his wife to protect him from the machinations of the greater will by sending him away. Also note that in that opening cutscene, he’s being crucified, with a lion about his shoulders and spear buried in his abdomen. They could not be milking the Jesus imagery harder if they tried. The Bird of Hermes is also thought to represent Christ, more points for that symbolism.

I love Godfrey so much as a character. He loved his sons and he loved his wife. The tenderness that he holds Morgott with is enough to make me cry. How he wished he could’ve seen him sooner, I’m all too sure. He’s the only other character we see guided by grace in the entire game. Marika guides you and her beloved husband, that’s it, that’s how much she trusts him. When he rips Serosh from his shoulders, you understand how Marika felt such faith in him. In Elden Ring, it is through battle that you face the true self of an opponent. Godfrey reveals to you Hoarah Loux, Warrior Chieftain of the Badlands. It is a test. Are you worthy to free her? Can you do what I could not? I have shown you courtesy enough as a Lord. You served me well, Serosh. I relieve you of your burden and feel only gratitude for your service. Now begins the test. Are you, tarnished, stronger than the only man who was strong enough to bear the burden of Lordship? Are you stronger than the only man that Queen Marika ever trusted? Are you stronger than the only man she ever loved?

[skitskatdacat63]

I'm rewatching this like man, why do I constantly have a thought stream of obscene situations I want to put this man in!? And then I get to the part where the main antagonist, y'know, strips him naked, comments on his sculpted physique, and then engages in cbt. Like hm, perhaps this had a profound, irreversible impact on my psyche!

I'm not built for watching movies w straight dudes cause I can't say the things I want to say like, "James Bond would benefit from puppy play," "He should seduce a man next," "If I made a Bond film, I'd have him infiltrate a bdsm club as a sub" etc etc.

[writingsoftarnishedsilver]

just a thought but sebastian and Anne are trying to get mc and sebastian' baby to come to them to prove who it likes better lots of come to daddy/auntie only for the baby to go to uncle ominis the true favorite

Picking Favorites | Sebastian Sallow x OC

THIS WAS SO FUCKIN CUTE TO WRITE AHHH THANK YOU ANON

Words: ~800

Tags: Post Canon, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff, More Fluff

Read more stories about Sebastian and Evangeline

Evangeline was not allowed in the room.

Not this time.

The last few attempts to prove who Noctua Sallow loved most had ended in swift and humiliating defeat for both Sebastian and Anne—because every single time, Evangeline and Sebastian's little girl, with her chubby cheeks and wispy dark curls, had made a beeline straight for Mummy without a second thought.

It had become so predictable that Evangeline barely had to do anything; Noctua would take one look at her, light up like a star, and immediately beeline into her arms.

It was obvious in hindsight.

How could they expect to win against the woman who carried her, fed her, soothed her, and rocked her to sleep every night? It was practically cheating.

So, for this round, they had resorted to drastic measures.

Evangeline, amused but cooperative, had been banished to the kitchen under the pretense of fetching more tea and biscuits, leaving the playing field perfectly level.

Or so they thought.

Noctua sat in the middle of the sitting room rug, blissfully unaware that she was currently the subject of an all-out war for her affection, her big hazel eyes flicking between her father and her aunt, who were crouched at opposite ends of the room.

Sebastian leaned forward, resting one hand on the floor, his other still extended toward his baby in open invitation.

“Alright, my little owl. Mummy’s not here to steal you this time, so it’s time to make the right choice.” He wiggled his fingers encouragingly, flashing the same charming, lopsided Sallow grin that had gotten him out of trouble countless times before. “Come to Daddy.”

Anne let out a very loud, very pointed scoff, rolling her shoulders like she was about to enter a dueling ring.

“Oh, please.” She waved a dismissive hand in Sebastian’s direction before tilting her head dramatically at the baby. “Noctua, sweetheart, we both know who spoils you the most.”

Her voice was pure syrup, sweet and inviting, with just a hint of smugness. She grinned, her eyes twinkling as she played her trump card.

“Come to Auntie Anne, darling. I always have biscuits, remember?”

Sebastian snapped his head toward her so fast he nearly cricked his neck.

“Bribery? Really? You’re resorting to biscuits?”

Anne smirked, utterly unbothered. “It’s called strategy, dear brother.”

Sebastian groaned, tilting his head back for a moment before shaking it off and refocusing, his face softening back into the picture of fatherly warmth.

“Noct, don’t listen to her. She’s trying to manipulate you.” He wiggled his fingers again, lowering his voice into the gentle, affectionate tone he used when rocking her to sleep. “Come to Daddy. I’m the fun one. Who gives you the best broom rides? Who lets you sit on his shoulders whenever we go outside?”

Noctua, sitting with her legs splayed out, blinked at him, then at Anne, who, not missing a beat, upped the ante.

“That’s all very nice,” she said airily, “but who makes the best silly faces?”

Without missing a beat, she scrunched up her nose, puffed out her cheeks, crossed her eyes, and stuck out her tongue, contorting her features into something truly ridiculous.

Noctua let out a delighted giggle.

Sebastian shot Anne a deeply unimpressed look. “You look like a deranged diricawl.”

Anne snapped back to her normal expression instantly, eyes sparkling with triumph.

“Who lets you tug on their hair whenever you want? Hm?” She pointed at her own head meaningfully. “Because I don’t recall your Daddy ever letting you yank his hair whenever you please.”

Sebastian scowled. “That’s because she doesn’t need to. I actually keep my daughter entertained.”

Anne smirked, unbothered. “Oh, do you?”

Sebastian doubled down.

“Who,” he said, “is the undisputed champion of animal noises?”

At this, he let out a deep, overly dramatic imitation of a Hippogriff call, complete with a ridiculous flap of his arms.

Anne’s face twisted into something that could only be described as secondhand embarrassment. “Merlin’s sake, Sebastian, you sound like a dying mandrake.”

Sebastian ignored her, keeping his gaze fixed on Noctua, who was still staring at them with fascination.

“Come on, my little owl.” His voice was full of soft, loving encouragement, a gentle push toward inevitable victory. “Just one tiny step. You know I’m your favorite.”

The room fell into a tense, eager silence.

Noctua wiggled slightly. She shifted forward onto her hands.

Anne and Sebastian tensed, barely breathing.

And then—

—Noctua turned away from both of them and speed-crawled in the complete opposite direction.

Straight toward Ominis.

A heavy silence fell over the room.

Seated in an armchair, book in hand, Ominis Gaunt had not been participating in this nonsense.

In fact, he had barely been paying attention, only half-listening to their ridiculous competition as he sipped his tea and enjoyed a moment of peace. He hadn’t even been aware he was in the running.

And yet, before he could fully process what was happening, a small, wobbly weight collided with his leg.

He blinked.

Slowly, he lowered his book—only to find Noctua clinging to his pant leg, looking up at him with pure adoration.

The corners of Ominis’ mouth twitched.

A slow, satisfied smirk curled across his face.

Sebastian and Anne remained frozen, their expressions a mirror of sheer, utter betrayal.

Evangeline, from the doorway with her tea in hand, burst into laughter as Ominis, smug and delighted by his unintentional victory, carefully lifted little Noctua onto his lap.

“…Well, well.” He ran his fingers over her tiny back as she cooed happily against him. “Looks like she’s made her choice.”

Sebastian’s jaw dropped.

“ARE YOU SERIOUS?!”

Anne groaned, throwing her arms up. “You weren’t even playing!”

Evangeline, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes, shook her head. “You two were never going to win. Uncle Ominis has been the favorite all along.”

Sebastian collapsed onto his back, staring at the ceiling in defeat. “My own daughter. My own flesh and blood. Betrayed.”

Anne crossed her arms, scowling. “She's technically my flesh and blood too! I demand a rematch.”

Ominis, smirking wider now, lightly tapped his fingers against Noctua’s back. “You can try, but you won’t win.”

Noctua gurgled in agreement. Sebastian and Anne glared.

The battle for Noctua’s heart was far from over.

[girlpash]

another faberry fic rec post!

so I got an ask yesterday, asking me the question I've been waiting months for someone to finally say to me in an anonymous forum, so I'd have the weak excuse to do this: a faberry fic rec post!

I've been straight up addicted to faberry fics for about six months now. and yeah, the year is 2025 and YEAH, I'm in my 30s. whatever??? some of us have late in life gay awakenings. (for the record I do have a wife but that's not the point.)

anyway, below the cut are a lot of my top favorite fics that I've read so far - but incomplete and non-definitive, because the list was getting toooo long. that said, if anyone were like "omg beth this is so great please share 100 more fics that you recommend" I would probably do that. my job, who I abandoned two hours earlier than I should have today to compile this, will not thank you, but I will.

anyway, I'll either keep this list updated if I find anymore I really want to add or maybe create a second post and link it here if it gets too long. we'll see!

June 16, 2025 update: I was going to make a follow-up fic rec master post, and then the post was so long that tumblr wouldn't let me post it lol. so instead I made a faberry fic rec blog oops. enjoy!

★ faberryfic

★★★★★

I'll Be by stix04

Can Quinn pretend to be in love with Rachel just to get out of Lima? Can Rachel pretend to love Quinn so she's not so lonely in New York? And what happens when both girls realize they're no longer pretending?

This fic is fucking INSANE (affectionate). It's one that, for me at least, I had to get a ways into before I learned its language. It's just so unique and the way the characters were written is sooo...deranged? (lmao!) But it was constantly laugh out loud funny, the angst was very much believable and bearable, and more than anything, and most importantly, - it was able to capture the ooey gooey faberry feelings. You know what I'm talking about with that? Some fics just have it, you know what I mean? They just wrap around your heart and squeeze. This one does that. And at the same time, it was just soooo silly goofy ridiculous stupid - and perfect. Kind of a masterpiece tbh.

★★★★★

Comfort of Love by ForForever19

More than a decade after the death of Tony Stark, a blonde teenager walks into a diner looking for a cheeseburger, and finds more than she expected. OR Faberry in the MCU. Sort of.

Do not, I repeat do not let the summary for this one put you off, in case you are averse to crossovers or the MCU or both. For one thing, ForForever19 is a master of the crossover and can make anything work seamlessly, it's actually SHOCKING. And for another, the MCU is more of the backdrop for this Faberry story. It's so good, it's stupid. I loved the Quinn and Rachel characters in this one - it was the sort of story I never wanted to leave. Some might quirk an eyebrow at their age difference, but I think the story justified it. It's difficult for me to say more without giving gifts of the fic away so just know that this is one of my favorites and give it a chance.

★★★★★

these strange steps by thememoriesfire

Rachel, bottoming out completely, is doing a show in Vegas and, as a distraction from her life, gets dragged to a strip club by Puck. She hasn't seen Quinn in 8 years. This isn't how she wanted them to see each other again. Warning: D/s overtones.

There are some stories that reach further than other fics, that are trying to tell a different story than one of two girls who fall in love, and this is one of them. The author says in a note that this is more a character story than a relationship story and that’s certainly true. It’s beautiful and painful and cathartic, much more than being just a romance. But it’s perfect for exactly what it is.

★★★★★

this is me trying by ForForever19

'Lena takes steps forward, eyes searching for a free seat near the back, but it seems she's not the only one with that idea. There is a blonde woman sitting very stiffly right in the back, and Lena imagines that's what she's about to look like once she takes her seat. Which she does, two seats over from the woman. Then she waits. Listens and learns.' OR Lena and Quinn, an adoption scandal, heartbreak, and the foreign concept of actually trying to be happy.

Oh my god, whaaattt, another ForForever19 crossover fic?? No way!! Okay so, disclaimer with this one is that Supergirl is definitely more than just a backdrop in this story - it's half the story, as half the story is about Kara and Lena. But like, who doesn't love Supercorp! Anyway, if you do, read this. The craziest thing is, my favorite part of this story isn't even Faberry, because while I did love them (as well as the Supercorp of it all), my favorite part was actually Quinn and Lena's relationship! It was so incredibly beautiful. I wrote in my notes for this fic "I ached every moment they were together, and when they weren’t, I just wanted them to go back." So, well, yeah - open yourself up to possibilities, I say! This one might just blow your mind.

★★★★★

Didn't See It Coming by ForForever19

After a devastating breakup, Quinn turns to Rachel in need of a friend, and ends up with so much more. - "If, one day, someone asks me how it all started; I'll have to say it was a granola bar that finally did me in."

This one is an absolute epic. It's a monster of a fic, but it's wonderful. To be honest, there was a lot of darkness in this story, but throughout it all, Quinn and Rachel had this deep and profound love for each other that held so strong, and it was so so lovely to read. And even the background characters felt really special in this story - Hiram and LeRoy, and Santana and Brittany. I'll also note, this fic has a song used in this fic that I became obsessed with after, and is one of my top-played songs now lmao. And every time I listen to it, I think about the specific scene from this fic!! So good.

★★★★★

I've Been Trying to Reach You by thememoriesfire

After falling pregnant in sophomore year, Quinn Fabray plummets from the top of the teen hierarchy at McKinley High to the very bottom. In an effort to give her a chance to start over, her parents transfer her to Carmel, a private school in the area with a blossoming arts program. It's supposed to be a new beginning, but what she doesn't count on is immediately becoming enemies with the most popular girl in school: Rachel Berry, co-captain of Vocal Adrenaline.

Sometimes you read a fic over six months ago and you can't remember the specifics anymore of what you loved about it. And that's okay! I still remember loving it. It still goes on this list. And to the top of my re-read list since I've forgotten everything about it apparently. Yay!

★★★★★

Never Asked To Feel Your Halo by BattleKitten

The thing was, neither of them wanted this-whatever it was, but since when did the Universe care about what Rachel or Quinn wanted? Their cards had been dealt the moment they'd entered that shower together. Now it came down to how well they played them.

This was one of the first Faberry fics I read, and it kind of took over my life when I did lmao. My wife was really concerned actually! Anyway, haters will say that Faberry is too toxic in this fic. I don't know! Maybe so! Personally I loved it. This fic also did this really specific thing that I love, which might honestly be why I love it so much, best described by this bit I wrote in my notes for it: “I loved how much stupid ridiculous attention every little detail got. Every brush of a hand sent them into a frenzy that would last a whole chapter.” There's also an incomplete sequel, so while this one is technically complete, it's also lowkey not so...proceed with caution, if that sort of thing matters to you? (*warning that there’s some transphobic language used in this fic a few times, in a “making fun of rachel” scenario*)

★★★★★

Temporary Love by ForForever19

'As far as first impressions go, Quinn Fabray would definitely sell part of her soul for a do-over.'

God, this story is so good, but so angsty. Long and heartbreaking and painful and so so so good. And painful! Did I mention painful? But seriously, it's a beautiful story, and, spoiler alert, it has a happy ending. But I think like 2/3 of the story is spent in a state of distress, if I'm gonna be honest lmao. But you know, as Taylor Swift would say - sad, beautiful, tragic love affair with a happy ending, or whatever.

★★★★★

Whenever You're Ready by ForForever19

'If anyone were to ask Quinn Fabray just what she was thinking, she'd be unable to answer. She wasn't thinking, maybe, because even she can't bring herself to rationalise just what possesses her to kidnap someone else's children. God. She's pretty sure she's just committed a felony.'

Oh, I love this fic so much, and I think about it all the time. This awoken something in me. I think that I think about it a lot because it made me want more of this very specific genre of both Quinn and Rachel being moms, and then meeting and falling in love. I just, ooooh, that's so good. I also love when an author nails writing kids, and the kids in this fic are soooo cute. It's such a good time all around, I loved it.

★★★★★

a first glance feeling on new york time by overnights

“I never doubted that you’d end up here,” Quinn says. “In New York. On Broadway. I always knew you’d be the one to make it out of Lima.” “You did too,” Rachel points out. “I wasn’t ever a given, though,” Quinn says quietly. “You were always the sure thing.”

"fairly quinntrospective" reads one of the tags on this fic, and well, yes. And I love Quinn soooo much, just so so so so much, and this author wrote her so beautifully. And I loved how full her world felt in this fic. This story was just so wonderful at the details. Not overbearing but just RICH. And Quinn's love for Rachel was just, oooh baby - good stuff. Reading this story made me feel like I was floating on a cloud as I read it and existed in its world. So beautiful.

★★★★★

Enough To Believe by ForForever19

Years after Shelby ups and disappears from Lima with Beth, a blonde girl shows up on Rachel and Quinn's doorstep, armed with a lot of questions, and very familiar cheekbones.

Okay, disclaimer that this one is an established relationship story, but I just loooove a Beth story so much. And teenage Beth at that! Who I am imagining in my head as Kathryn Newton and it’s perfect. This story was so sweet and warm and compelling and just niiceeeee, I loved it. I loved Beth, I loved Quinn and Rachel’s relationship. I loved all the complexities of their fucked up little family. It’s not an especially long story and it only covers like two days of time but the world feels so full and I felt so immersed in it.

★★★★★

A Matter of Timing by ForForever19

'If anyone were to ask Rachel Berry how or when it happens, she probably wouldn't be able to say. The why is much, much easier. It's Quinn. There's really no other explanation needed.'

Absolutely wonderful, painful, beautiful, tragic, angsty, mess of a story, which I loved. It was not warm feelings ooey gooey faberry - it was a pure and true angst. But it was written so so well. A story of unrequited love, and well, the title says it best - a matter of timing. It was so painful to read, and it hurt so much, but it made sense, which matters. If you're looking for or okay with something that's gonna hurt you, but you're gonna like it - this is the fic for you.

★★★★★

Past Mistakes by InvisMeg

Rachel makes a wish and finds herself in a place she never thought she'd be again. Now she's she reliving her senior year, trying to fix everything that went wrong and trying to find what she's been missing in her life.

Here's the thing, I love time travel soooo much!! So so so very much. I'll read any time travel Fabery fic you put in front of me. (Truly any one. Do it. Right now. Give me a Faberry time travel fic to read, I dare you.) But not all time travel fics are created equal, and this is one of my favorites. I love when they have a little mission that they're going back for, something to fight for, something to change. This one does that well. It was just an all around good time and a great concept - a great story to tell. YAY TIME TRAVEL!

★★★★★

Stays in Vegas by gayerfurtherfaster

Ten years after high school, Quinn and Rachel wake up after a one night stand only to find out they can't remember some very important events from the night before.

I loved this. It was so well-written and funny and cute. And just overall a fun story!! A little bit The Hangover-esque trying to retrace their steps from the night before. And this wonderful chemistry and immediate spark between them that makes their relationship fun and interesting. Just a super cute story that I really enjoyed!

★★★★★

Nineteen by ForForever19

Quinn Fabray has eighteen tattoos, and Rachel is on a mission to discover every single one.

This one is a quickie, but it's so good and so sweet! It's short, but it's still sort of a slow-burn almost. It's a slow and beautiful unfurling. A slow-building intimacy.

★★★★★

celebrate the art of dreaming by gayerfurtherfaste

What happens when your two best friends become something more?

A biiiiig disclaimer here! This is not a Faberry fic, but it is a throuple fic where two-thirds of the throuple is Faberry! That is not for everyone! It is for me! If you are like me, and a throuple fic is for you, then read this fic! If it is not for you, then carry on! Good day!!

★★★★★

take these broken wings by celaenos

Begins in Season one and follows Quinn through her life should she have chosen to keep Beth, realize she is queer, and fall in love with Rachel Berry. The main romantic relationship will be Faberry, with a bit of Hevans and Brittana, but apart from Faberry it will be very heavy on friendship and Quinn&Beth oriented.

This is a beautiful and thoughtful series of fics. It's very sweet and done really interestingly with each fic being from a different character's POV. It starts in high school, then moves us to New York and college, and - it has one of my favorite things - Quinn as a mom! To Beth! Who we love!! Yay Beth!!

★★★★★

dear your name here by thememoriesfire

Future AU; Quinn and Rachel meet up again in college.

A fun fact about this fic is that it's the first Faberry fic I ever read. A second fun fact about this fic is that by "read" I mean that my wife read it out loud to me while we were on a roadtrip and I was driving. Twice! Two different roadtrips! Over a year and a half apart! So this seems like a good fic to end this list on. Maybe one day I'll read this fic with my own two eyes instead of my wife reading it out loud to me in a car. Not today though!

★★★★★

[ma1dita]

trouble always finds me

a 'partners in crime' installment - luke castellan x dionysus!reader next -> entropy words: 1.7k  summary: (pre-established relationship) The one where he could tell you were trouble from the day he met you. Luke’s perspective on trouble & how they first met! think trouble’s origin story (Luke Castellan x fem!Dionysus!reader) warnings: none, fluff? Mr. D being a clueless dad lol also guys they’re 14 here a/n: welcome back to the trouble!verse hehe i was inspired by Mr. D being a bit of a jerk to Percy so that the kid doesn’t off himself. Similar concept but with Luke after he first gets to camp (posted 1/19/24, erm unedited and not beta’d so forgive me in advance)

—

You were always trouble, Luke knew that from the day he met you. 

Walking into Camp Half-Blood, worn out and weary after days of trying to not become harpy food, his arm was slung protectively over Annabeth’s shoulder as they were led onto the campgrounds. So many pity-filled eyes were focused on them after hearing what happened to Thalia, but the camp seemed promising, filled with other demigods who can resonate with what they’ve experienced. Luke thought it was too good to be true, but anything’s better in comparison to the streets they came from. You, however, looked at them in interest from afar, a playful expression on a pretty face watching their every move like him and Annie were shiny new toys to play with.

He was so sure something was off with you. 

Had to be, from the deranged glimmer in your eye that would appear when something bad would happen at Camp. He’d seen it in action a couple of times before you set your sights on him— setting off fireworks during capture the flag, replacing salt with sugar in the kitchens, cutting Mr. D’s hair in his sleep; all of this causing campers and staff alike to run amok and figure out who to penalize. Each time he’d find you enjoying how it all played out, excitement brimming on the cusp of revealing yourself as the culprit as he watched you bite your tongue. But as a mischievous kid himself, he wondered why you hid it. You preferred to orchestrate the show, to make a spectacle for your personal entertainment, and with a smile too soft to be considered guilty, you were a convincing actress. 

The other campers in 11 told him you’d been unclaimed for half a year now, keeping to yourself and making a safe haven within the busy cabin. You were a klutz to say the least, bringing chaos to Camp Half-Blood with a cool disposition, and you hardly seemed interested the one time Luke tried to say hi as he took the bunk next to yours. 

So why the hell wouldn’t you lay off of him?

At first it was small, shoulder bumps and raised eyebrows whenever he piped up in a conversation. That, he could deal with. Luke’s a tough guy, having gone through more than a typical 14-year old would. 

But then it just got annoying.

Glitter in his shampoo, his laundry load dyed purple, and shoelaces knotted together to make him stumble— things meant to be more of an inconvenience rather than an actual problem. Luke wasn’t sure what to make of it, or what to tell you. No one wants to be the new kid creating trouble, but you didn’t seem to have a problem with that.

Maybe you were a Hermes kid like him, but of that, Luke wasn’t so easily convinced—months of living in 11 would mean you’d learn all of the tricks of the trade, so it couldn’t automatically mean that you were related (a part of him also hoped you weren’t be half-siblings, or else the fact he couldn’t stop thinking of you would be slightly awkward). Perhaps a child of Apollo? When you weren’t being difficult, he’s seen you sprinkled in sunlight, usually humming a tune under your breath. Yesterday it was a song from the Sound of Music, and though he only remembers bits of a memory from a movie night with his mom years ago, he put his combat gear on slower just to hear you finish the song. 

Whatever you were, it was bound to be troublesome.

—

At this point in life, Luke hasn’t had many comforts while on the run. To him there’s no such thing as action without reason, without meaning.  Five years of running and not looking back makes this son of Hermes realize that he hasn’t had a chance to take a breath until he got here. It’s hard to let down your guard when you’re always supposed to be keeping watch.

He wriggles under his covers trying to relax himself before bed, purple socks sticking out of the scrappy hand-me-down blanket, and he hears a small giggle from the bed next to his. Luke shifts his weight onto his side, eyes darting to your direction in the quiet of the dark cabin.

“Nice socks.”

He blinks. Were you talking to him? His toes wiggle playfully, prompting more of your melodious laughter as he chews at his lip before he responds.

“Guess I’m getting used to them.”

“You’re getting used to a lot of things around here. That’s good,” you whisper, and thinks he can see you concocting something sinister in that brain of yours—he’s on the edge of the mattress hanging onto your every word as he realizes this is the most you’ve spoken to him.

“You did this. Why?” he says, more of a statement than a question. Why would you go out of your way for someone like him?

“Are you mad about it? Luke, right?” you mutter, a calm expression on your face shrouded in moonlight, and for a second he wonders if you actually don’t know his name until he notices the upwards quirk of your lip. 

Luke catches himself then, and the realization hits him like a blow to the chest— he’s not angry at all. If anything, he hasn’t had the time to feel anything negative with the antics you’ve been pulling. You’ve proven to be quite the distraction to his circumstances, and he can’t remember the last time he’s thought about Thalia or his mom since he got here. The melancholy falls on his countenance like a better-fitting blanket than the one he has on, and your words pull him from his thoughts before they can suffocate him again.

“Sorry about your sister. I lost someone right before I got here too. My mom.” 

This, he can tell, is not acting. Your eyes flicker to a polaroid strapped in the space underneath the top bunk above your head, two blurry figures huddled together in a memory.

“I’m sorry.” He’s not sure what to say. In the silence that follows, he swallows audibly. Everyone’s been worried about Annabeth, including himself that he hadn’t even thought of his own emotions being on display for everyone to see. Luke never thought you of all people would notice.

You shrug, “S’not your fault. I know when people are acting though. If you know I’m the one who’s been starting shit, why haven’t you told anyone?”

Luke almost laughs at that, a rough exhale leaving his lungs as he watches your hands clutch your quilt.

“It’s pretty entertaining, I guess. You’re annoying, but I don’t mind it. Kept my mind off of things.”

He watches you smile in the shadows now, and it shines—all lips, teeth, and sheer mirth that makes his chest feel a little lighter. A real smile from you, one that doesn’t hide your true intentions.

“I’m glad. Mine too.” 

The next thing you do confuses him further, but from what he’s gathered you’re always full of surprises. You chuck your quilt across the space between your bunks, and the end of it smacks him in the face as he grunts.

“Here. Keep it,” you chuckle a bit loudly, the both of you hearing a Shhhhh… from somewhere in the dark cabin.

“What… Why? Are we friends now?” Luke mumbles jokingly, inhaling the soft scent of berries and fresh linen. His purple laundry load smelled like this too.

“No.”

“Then why are you giving me your stuff?” he says, but still curls up underneath the handmade quilt stitched from memories of a past life, of motherly love and gentle hands. He doesn’t have anything like this, so he settles into this feeling of comfort instead, even if it wasn’t his memory to hold. You go quiet at the sight of him, eyes fluttering and chin tucked into the pink and purple fabric, and he looks as soft as a normal 14 year old boy should.

“It’s getting boring in here. Gonna have to change it up soon, I think,” you mumble, turning away and shutting your eyes before he can say anything else.

—

The next day, you get caught putting a month’s supply of bubble bath into the lake, but Luke’s convinced you did it on purpose. All of camp is standing on the shore, watching you wave at them from a river tube as Chiron and Mr. D yell at you in exasperation—finally revealing yourself as the troublemaker they’ve been searching for.

“Get on the beach this instant, young lady! You have no idea how much trouble you’ve put us through!” Mr. D’s voice echoes across the lake, his immortal form almost filtering through his frustration before you laugh in his face, unthreatened by the Olympian.

“Good thing I get it from you. Hello, dad!”

Jaws drop as everyone turns to look at Mr. D, the realization hitting his face as he points at you, his brain moving a mile a minute. Though you resemble your mother, your actions are all him. You revel in the grand reaction, looking up to see a purple thyrsus surrounded by grape leaves float over your head.

“Nice outfit, kid. I don’t think purple is your color. She do that to you too?” Mr. D notes Luke’s wine colored cargos and socks clashing against the harsh orange of his shirt as he pushes past him, scratching his head at the idea of another kid. Poor guy said two was the limit in a lifetime and he gets a grinning teenage girl who dares him to do something about it. He hasn’t raised a lot of girls….

“I don’t know. I guess trouble always seems to find me,” Luke laughs lightly, watching kids of all ages jump into the bubbly lake water happily. The glowing ember of his eyes are relaxed for the first time in a while— an inviting flame catching your own as you stare at him from across the sudsy water. Trouble, he thinks, a smile settling onto his face—how fitting.

He’s spent a lot of time running. But perhaps this time, he’s finding reasons to want to stay.

—

"After all, we are nothing more or less than what we choose to reveal." - Sylvia Plath

Ask to be added to the general/luke taglist! 

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[sheeezu]

How absolutely deranged, fucked up in the mind do you have to be to keep sending asks to yourself, painting the person who pissed you off as a negative character, and have an account which seems like your non-shifting blog to like all of it.

It's honestly hilarious, but mostly sad and disappointing. If you think doing this cowardly stunt would change how I'm perceived well than that's a laugh to say the least.

You're so weak in the bones that you didn't have the power of confrontation, but yes, I've replied to your reblogs and explained it calmly and then again, when I come across your post, I didn't use any harsh or derogatory language, didn't assassinate your character, and only stayed to the points that were true.

It's disappointing to say the least.

After I've replied you've blocked me. And following my gut feeling I understood what was happening behind my back, you were trying to make me seem like the villain, so i went on an alt account.

Your habits and immaturity are reaching a peak, its disgusting to say the least.

I've stopped on all my drafts because of this, I've lost interest in tumblr completely because of your behavior, I didn't think it would be possible to come across someone like you in the shifting community.

You're a leach, that's what you are, a leach which sucks off energy, and we need less of you in the shifting community.

Please stop sending anon asks to yourself, @sandorsubs.

And I'm tagging shifting tags onto this, if someone has some actual problem with me, and those anon asks are real, they can just tell them straight to my face in my comments.

[lovely-parasite-04]

Iced Coffee, Detective?

Agnes!Agatha Harkness x Fem!Reader

Prologue of ?

Part 1

SUMMARY: One of the victims of Westview goes a little further than everyone else to be nice to the town hero, Agatha Harkness, or Detective Agnes O'Connor. She doesn't know what she's getting into when the Detective asks her to come in for "further questioning."

WARNINGS: Mention of murder (its only like a sentence), Agatha being Agatha

NOTE: This is mostly experimental because I hardly ever write and when I do, it never sees the light of day. However, I am In Love with Agatha, and I never see anyone write much about when she was under Wanda's spell. The experimental part is that this is meant to be comical and reader doesn't immediately start out with a big fat crush on Madame Harkness. It's also more on the simple side in terms of plot. I'm posting this first little bit to see how people enjoy it, and if it gets a lot of attention, I'll try to write more.

"Large Americano for Agnes?" I shout from my corner behind the counter, swiftly setting the paper cup down as I see the familiar brunette make her way towards me. I turn to begin making another order, but stay put to ask the older woman, "Any new cases, detective? I heard you on the phone over there talking about a lot of work to get back to. "

Agnes (Agatha) takes a large sip of her iced coffee, testing the flavor and swallowing, before responding with, "I'm not supposed to talk about the investigation and I don't entertain rumors about how the victim passed." She barely made eye contact with me, but I'm shocked she didn't immediately leave after receiving her order. She is usually in a hurry to get her coffee and go.

"Oh... of course. Sorry." I have no idea what she heard me say, because I didn't mention anything about a victim. I know I don't necessarily have to play along with her delusions like I do; most people simply tell her to have a nice day and direct her towards the door, but I can't help but be fascinated by what she is going through.

Seeing it from the outside, anyway.

I was among the rest of Westview during the Scarlet Witch's spell. Just the thought of it sends a shiver down my spine. Losing control of everything but your mind can be terrifying, wanting to say something but saying something else. Being frozen in time until you were needed for a plot point for a completely deranged woman. Losing track of time and wondering if it will ever end.

Agatha Harkness had been a town hero, stopping Wanda Maxifmoff and freeing everyone in Westview. But now she was stuck in the same spell with no end in sight.

Her Nosy Neighbor character lasted for about 2 years and everything seemed to be normal. She would gossip with her closest neighbors and those who volunteered to check in on her and bring her groceries, and she pretty much kept to herself. However, her characters have started to derail into different "genres". The first shift the town noticed was around Christmas last year. She seemed to be acting out a Hallmark movie, following around this one guy while pretending she was just bumping into him and trying to show him the "true meaning of Christmas."

It was funnier to watch than any actual Hallmark movie I had ever seen. The guy was married with a family, and continued to tell Agatha as such until she shifted again. That was when I made the observation that in Agatha's delusions, she doesn't always hear exactly what we say. It's like her brain can't comprehend anything that doesn't fit the little world she's made, so it makes something else up entirely for her to play off of.

I'm also convinced that she is controlling her delusions now. Maybe not intentionally, but I no longer see the hold Wanda had over her. Maybe this spell that Agatha is under is different from ours. She has no control of her mind. We only had control of our minds.

I feel bad for her, and I'm really intrigued by her as a person in general - I mean she's a fucking witch from 1690's Salem - so I steal any chance I get to talk to her. It helps that she is a regular at the coffee shop I work at.

Back in the moment, I need to move to the other end of the counter to finish this new order, and I'm positive she'll walk away once I do. I simply say, "Have a nice day!" And start to step away when she surprises me again.

"You knew her, huh?" Holding the coffee close to her chest and mouthing at a straw she slipped in while I was lost in thought. She follows me around the counter, not bothering to mutter anything to the other customers she runs into along the way. Her whole focus is on me.

"I...knew who?"

She heard me that time, giving me the full name of someone I'd never heard of before.

"Oh, her? Yea. Yea, me and her go way back."

  I'm a sucker for improv, okay? What's the harm? Even if she found out I was lying, she can't hurt me. She lost all her magic. Right?

"If you don't mind, I'd like you to come with me back to the prescient, so I can ask you a few questions about the girl and the nights leading up to her death."

Well, fuck. My boss would never let me leave for this. A real cop, sure. The town cook? Absolutely not. "I'm sorry, detective O'Connor, I'd have to wait until I get off work."

"Relax, hon." She said condescendingly "Let's just wait until you get off work -" What a great and completely original idea, Agatha. "I'll give you my card and you give me a call later today, okay?"

She proceeds to hand me an index card with the name Wanda gave her, Detective Agnes O'Connor, above a phone number. On the back is her house address. All handwritten.

  Bless her heart.

  "Okay- I hope you don't hand these out to everyone..." The last part was more of an outside thought, and thankfully Agatha didn't seem to hear it anyway, waving over her shoulder and exiting.

----------------

[miss-interpretations]

Actually the real reason they haven't given us a flashback scene to mid-30s Blackbeard and crew in their heyday doing a big sexy raid with swordfighting and robbing jewels is because they know I would make a fan video of edizzy set to the magnificent Finesse by Miss Cardi B. I would of course have to have several shots zoomed in on Taika's ass. Just for lyrical cohesion.

Truly, at the end of the day, what it's all about is repurposing songs from your [redacted] playlist for an edizzy playlist