#hes an excellent actor and also an excellent writer apparently
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you really went crazy about John Lynch yesterday. Fair enough tbh.
and im only gonna get crazier so strap the fuck in
#the heron heareth#AND THATS A THREAT#hes an excellent actor and also an excellent writer apparently#ill find out when i get those books LOL#and hes fucking gorgeous#SO WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO......... NOT BE A LITTLE DERANGED i like men. he checks the boxes#i will be watching Moar Films but until then ive got art projects to be doing#im going a little backwards with professional looking art pieces and art requests and also my gay little self indulgent doodles but#im working on all of em. im picking at em. youre all very kind and patient with me
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This Week in BL - So Many GREAT Kisses!
Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.
(Please notice I am now using 6 dots in all ellipses because according to Taiwanese BL that's how we queers roll. Who am I to argue?)
Sept 2024 Week 3
Ongoing Series - Thai
Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) ep 2 of 12 - A most excellent glow up. And itās still a great show. And I cannot wait to see the many different faces of War. Bring on the Leverage of One action-packed mess. I'm waiting. Ā
Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) ep 9 of 12 - Iām gonna say this because it drives me crazy. Why are boys in BL, when out and about the countryside, always dressed inappropriately for Thailand? If itās hot, takeoff your damn jacket. I donāt mean to be crass or crazy or whatever. But donāt wear a jacket when itās 90Ā° with 90% humidity. In Thailand, jackets are for malls. Meanwhile, Iām an extrovert and that still seemed like an exhausting trip. Although, I suppose they didnāt show all the drive time in the van, when everyone is asleep.
Meanwhile, why are the sides so frustrating in this show? Authentic friends-to-lovers is always a slog. Finally a kiss! And a decent one.
New character? Aw! Hi Yu!!!! Gosh Putter is so cute.
Where were we? Oh yes, Beer is now heartbroken. Always the great fear in F2L that the friendship will be destroyed as a result. And itās a decent fear.Ā
On a completely different note, I cannot help but wonder when somebodyās chue len is Beer, if that is because beer was involved in their conception. Like, itās the name you give your "oops baby" from that drunken night at the club. Donāt mind me. Iām just over here in the corner being crass.
Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 8 of 12 - That was one of the cutest wake up sequences ever depicted. Utterly adorable. And now heās blind again? Oh my God this is such a soap opera, I canāt even. Meanwhile, wicked ice prince finally made his move. Gah! Why arenāt we getting more of this couple? I always love the sides best with this production house.
I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 10 of 12 - I love a hard fraught game of badminton. Even though we actually didnāt see play. YoIng claiming was so cute!!! And their shower kiss was v hot. Yay little show! Also cute use of the punishment trope!
Kidnap (Fri YT) ep 3 of 12 - The weight upon the shoulders of our idiot good guy kidnapper continues to pile up. So does the affection. The dude playing Q has sanpaku eyes. Cool. Heās not a particularly good actor though.Ā Rough because everyone around him is giving their very best.
The problem is. I'm noticing. I shouldn't be noticing all the talent trying so hard. That usually means there is something wrong with the story, or there was something wrong on the set.
I don't know what to say at this juncture except I have the sinking suspicion this might not actually be a good show. (Covers head and cowers. Don't hate me.) I'd loved to be proved wrong, but my faith is GMMTV is only about 50% these days. And it probably should be lower.
Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 6 of 10 - I was so confused by how we suddenly got on a trip together, that I went back and re-watched the previous installment. And it still isnāt explained. So I have no idea why our leads are on a trip but apparently thatās the next trope to hit. I also have no idea how they're suddenly boyfriends. Iām just generally confused by this episode. Itās like an alt reality. We skipped over all of the stuff where they actually got into a relationship. In general I wasnāt wild about this episode.
The Trainee (Sun YT) ep 12fin - The most realistic thing about this show is that everybody is everybody elseās ex on any given set. I feel that in my bones. Or do I mean boner?
Frankly, both actors look better after a glow up and I guess pretending to be more their actual ages suits them? Considering what was actually done to invokeĀ youth (a lot of the shine and gloss) aging them was an anti-glow up. A great mattification? Well...... this was a somewhat lackluster finale. (Thank you, thank you, the pun was unplanned. It's a gift.)
I donāt know. I guess I wanted to see Jane suffer? Work HARD to get the kid he abandoned back? I wouldāve liked to have seen Ryan a little bit more competent and capable and his job. Maybe dating someone else. But I also do not want any more episodes. This was more than enough. So instead no separation, just boyfriends and a montage of their lives together, getting new and better jobs, moving in together, being supportive and sweet, etc... LOOK: Itās never a good sign when I immediately want to rewrite the show that I just saw.
In conclusion:
A story about a group of interns at a commercial video production company. While I genuinely love OffGun, Iām not convinced this was a good vehicle for them. Is it terrible for me to say, I miss their PickRome days? I donāt think theyāve ever had rolls that suited them better. Still, theirs was the best storyline in this ensemble piece masquerading as a BL, although they still fumbled the ending. Thus, I enjoyed about a 1/3 of it as much as possible, and 2/3 of it less than conceivable. 7/10Ā and I seriously considered dropping it to a 6/10 so don't push me.
Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sun iQIYI) ep 1 of 15 - Not gonna lie I was very skeptical. But I like it fine. Better than I expected because itās been changed just enough. But it does need to stay changed. I donāt know what Iām trying to articulate here butā¦... I guess weāll see.
Live in Love (Sun Gaga) ep 3 of 5 - Itās cute in a weird disjointed way. Iām enjoying it enough, I guess. I do like how forthright and direct Kla is.Ā
Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - Ah. Bully romance. My old frenemy. Of course making this office based means +10 for workplace harassment. Well well well. This will be red flag party town I see. How VERY old school yaoi.Ā Itās all very Cdrama CEO = dudes in suits walking on parquet (minus all the gay sex of course.) The jumping around between times and unfinished scenes is very strange. Is this Starhunter chaos only applied to a timeline?
Imma say this so they hear it at the back. YOU HAVE TO CHANGE THE HAIR. If you do time jumps: change. the. hair. It's the easiest and best clue if you aren't going to apply a filter or other cinematography tricks. JUST CHANGE THE DAMN HAIR STYLE.
Ongoing Series - Not Thai
The On1y One (Taiwan Thurs Gaga) eps 9-10 of 12 - And now we all start using six dots in ourā¦ā¦? A new coded way to indicate that one is into BL? I did think we were in a slight mire with ep 9, too much teacher filler. Not enough time spent with our boys. Meanwhile, sports day. Pouty Baby utilizing the power of Ge, in front of all of the classmates who do not realize how hard he is flirting and activating babygirl = one of the greatest things ever to happen on my screen. Essentially this was a version of the claiming trope, only nobody knew it but the two of them. Fucking genius. Yes, I watched it multiple times. Then babygirl is injured, the carrying and the flirting!!!! Gah!
I donāt mean to trivialize the show, but this is me and I can trivialize everything even something as brilliant as this. But that conversation about history at the beginning of ep 10...... Was that about topping and bottoming? Because it sure seemed that way.
And then...... Possibly the best only one bed trope twist ever?
This show is so fucking amazing.
And I am so worried about the end.
Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun grey) ep 7 of 10 - I love the kinkyness of our baby boyās fantasy. Where he is the gift and his boyfriend is in uniform. Very nice. Thank you Japan. Never one to let kinky dogs lie. Also, the premise continues: one half thinks that they are already boyfriends and acts like it, and the other half is still trying to become a boyfriend. Itās absurd in that way that only Japanese miscommunication extraordinaire can be absurd. Also could Kyosuke be any more under his boyās thumb?Ā
Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 1-2 of 10 eps - Shiba is a top lawyer, angular aggressive bespectacled workaholic cat-type (Kitten? Babygirl? Tsundere? Some unholy combination of all 3?) I am reminded I should be more considerate of my potted plants. OMG the teasing and the little tongue sticking out. Haruto is such a flirt. I love this dynamic. What fun! Manic pixie dream boy but MAKE HIM EVIL! Or very high? Or a grifter? I have absolutely no idea whatās going on. But Iām enjoying it. Itās very...... very
First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) ep 7 of 12 - Oh! Good kiss. Smart to have the younger character initiate. I also like that he put a stop to it and then went and had a long conversation with a friend about it. Cautious boy. Also shows how in control of the situation Sea is becoming. It works for this BL since he has the stronger personality.Ā I don't care what the characters say, this is about Sea becoming a rock for Neil.
But the secondary couple is actually winning this show. I want so much more of them.Ā
Seoul Blues (Korea Fri? YouTube) ep 8fin - Iām not sure that blackmailing and entrapment, especially of your ex, necessarily justifies cheating. Plus I never like it when itās gays against gays. But what did I expect from this show? This whole series was basically Koreaās version of messy gay. If you liked Only Friends youāll probably enjoy this bullshit. And they were quite pretty. I, however, am monumentally displeased. 4/10 FATALLY FLAWED but still, basically, BL, howeverā¦... do we want to support this kind of behavior?
KOREA PLEASE GIVE US A NEW PROPER BL!! WHERE ARE YOU? WE ARE SAD AND LOST WITHOUT YOU.
It's like now they discovered boys can kiss they can't be happy.
It's airing but...
The Hidden Moon (Sat WeTV) ep 1 of 10 - This is a supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger). A man is hired to write an article about an old mansion in Chiang Mai being converted into a cafƩ. He sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, falls in love with one of them. Was substantially recast. I loved IFYLITA except the ending so I think I'll let this one run it's course you can tell me if it's work tracking down... if they managed to land it. I have my doubts.
Happy of the End (Japan Tues Gaga) - A boy is disowned for being gay, dumped by his boyfriend, and ends up in a dysfunctional co-dependant relationship with his would-be kidnapper. We were due for another messy JBL and it's exactly as expected. I do not like it at all. And ya know what? There is plenty airing. DNFĀ
In case you missed it
I FINISHED Meet You at the Blossom (China). I ate crow, binged the fucker, and live blogged the experience. I enjoyed it a lot and got quite witty (I think) there are also puns (warning). But if you don't wanna slog though it, here are my final thoughts:
This was undeniably a wuxia and most definitely a BL. Evil stunning princely Cheekbones meets and falls in love with the bisexual disaster Dimples of his dreams. Thereās a lot of floaty fighting, tangled plot, and overworked emotions. From start to finish it is exactly as it claims to be, including more than the expected amount of sexual claiming (dubious conscent to the point of rape). Iām not wild about the wuxia genre, but I will tell you what I do like: Very pretty men in flowing robes + eye makeup + hair ribbons wafting about stabbing and kissing each other plus ridiculous soap opera machinations. I also like cheekbones and dimples. AND I love a stupid gay sleeve, okay? There was also truly epic levels of stink-eye, and that too is to be lauded. This show left me grinning like crazy. Was it great? Not really, but it was a great experience and I enjoyed it immensely. 8/10
4 Minutes (Gaga) Ended - Spies reported in to say the ending was not-exactly-unhappy and mostly lackluster. I'm torn over whether to watch. My natural disinclination to binge, meets my dissatisfaction with wishy-washy, is going up against my love of high heat and pretty men. Oh the age old struggle between art and lust.
Mitsuya-sensei no keimakutekina ezuke finished and itās reported to be solid. Age gap treated with respect. I'm curious, so I'll check it out if I can get hold of non-G-drive subs.
Next Week Looks Like This:
Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.
Still Coming Sept 2024:
9/28 Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YouTube) ?? eps - oh I don't know just Ba Vinh doing his thing with pretty boys again.
THIS WEEKāS BEST MOMENTS
I love love love this execution of the punishment trope. What's Ai going to do to you, Yu? Ride you to death?
I Saw You in My Dream indeed.
Sigh. This show. (Addicted Heroin)
All praise one of BL's best-in-show glow-ups. Nicely done, Jack.
James, on the other hand. Never needs a glow-up. Still the prettiest. Has been since Oxygen. (Battle of the Writers)
He's playing the role of Saint in this show, thank you very much. Speaking of which, wouldnāt that be just the most gorgeous pairing in the entire universe? Saint and James? Iāll be in my bunk.Ā
Taiwan giving us a boop! Reminds me of Be Loved In House I Do, right up there with TharnType as chronic boopers.
Why is he SO GOOD in this show?
All Frist Note.
(Last week)
Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.
The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs
Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many at-ings.
#this week in BL#BL updates#meet you at the blossom review#Jack & Joker#Jack and Joker#Addicted Heroin#The Traineee the series review#Battle of the Writers#Monster Next Door#Sugar Dog Life#Seoul Blues review#I Saw You in My Dream#The On1y One#First Note of Love#Live in Love#Kidnap the series#Love Sick 2024#Bad Guy My Boss#upcoming BL#BL news#BL reviews#BL gossip#Thai BL#Japanese BL#live action yaoi#Koren BL#BL starting soon#BL coming soon#new BL
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Now that the writers and actors strike is about to begin being felt (and as we wait for those greedy billion dollar companies who are refusing to negotiate fair pay and conditions to give up) here's 10 of my favorite (all around best) fully finished older series you should definitely check out if you haven't watched.
I mean it, these are the shows with continuously great writing and a satisfying endings that manage to actually deliver on their promises.
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1. Leverage - (containing 5 seasons, or 77 episodes) - trailer here.
Hitter, Hacker, Grifter, Thief and Mastermind. Heists and cons. Stealing from the rich and giving to their victims. They provide... leverage.
Meant for anyone who enjoys bad guys being the best good guys, who will burn down the lives of evil CEOs and then gloat in the background. Very satisfying.
Hands down the best example of a found family trope I've ever seen on screen. Barring none.
2. Killjoys - (containing 5 seasons, or 50 episodes) - trailer here.
Space Bounty Hunters. Another case of found family trope. Bisexual space princess assassin. Quippy sentient ship. Green alien goo. Evil lesbians (but like... in a good way). The warrant is all.
More seriously though, it's a story about three killjoys and the bounties they go after. Initially. And then they have to save the entire Quad from some very terrifying... stuff.
Contains one of the best friendships I've ever seen on television.
3. Orphan Black - (containing 5 seasons, or 50 episodes) - trailer here.
Found family trope but with clones.
Low level grifter sees a woman who looks exactly like her kill herself and plans to take over her identity long enough to cash out. Except then there's two other women who also look exactly like her. And apparently they're all clones and someone's killing them.
Enter a global conspiracy. Human experimentation. Lots of clone shenanigans. Some serial killings. And a few murders š.
4. Person of Interest - (containing 5 seasons, or 103 episodes) - trailer here.
Okay I'm beginning to see how I might have a found family trope issue.
Former CIA agent gets recruited by a reclusive billionaire computer programmer who developed a... machine that can predict acts of terror before they happen. But it also predicts 'irrelevant' acts of violence that will result in someone's death.
Unless someone interferes.
I'd really like to spoil some stuff to get you all to watch this one. But I'm going to maintain self control and just mention that early on they get a dog named Bear. Bear is a very good boy. Watch it for Bear.
Also for excellent commentary on rights of privacy, government surveillance and what does 'greater good' even mean? But mostly Bear.
5. 12 Monkeys - (containing 4 seasons, or 47 episodes) - trailer here.
The very best time travel show out there. What starts out as a confusing mess of causality basically exploding, by the end of the series all makes complete and total sense.
(when that final timey-whimey loop slid into place and revealed the entire pattern it was like a choir of angels started singing in the back of my head. It was freaking glorious).
Anyway, a man from a post apocalyptic future travels into the past to stop a plague from decimating nearly the entire world population.
He has the name of the man who released the virus and it's supposed to be a single trip. One trip. One bullet. Simple. Done.
Except then things keep escalating, and escalating until time begins eating its own tail and it might start looking like the end of the world might be a better ending than erasing all of time and space from reality.
Because when our guys screw it up, they screw it up GOOD.
And oh yeah... found family.
6. The Good Place - (containing 4 seasons, or 53 episodes) - trailer here.
A self-proclaimed Arizona dirtbag opens her eyes and finds out that she's dead and got accepted in the Good Place. Except that as soon as she arrives the Good Place starts glitching, and she really, REALLY needs to become a better person before she can be found out and kicked out to the Bad Place.
Luckily her assigned soulmate was a professor of ethics and moral philosophy.
One of the funniest, most thoughtful and clever comedies I've ever watched. Ever. The characters are delightful and by the time the final minute rolled around I had sobbed my heart out multiple times (which, as we all know, is a sign of the very best comedies out there).
As for the question of whether or not this too contains Found Fami- Yes! Obviously, yes.
7. Avatar: the Last Airbender - (containing 3 seasons, or 61 episodes) - intro here (couldn't locate the trailer but it's basically the same thing in this case).
The four nations lived in harmony. Until the Fire Nation attacked.
It's been a hundred years since the beginning of the war when two kids from the Southern Water Tribe find a boy frozen in ice and wake him up. A boy who's able to bend all four elements... though not very well.
Enter multi-nation flying road trip (thank you Appa, we love you most of all) as they try to find teachers for the Avatar and save the world.
Includes found family (shut up), amazing fight scenes, the most heartfelt and vivid characters ever, and the best example of a redemption arc actually done well.
8. Love Between Fairy and Devil - (containing 1 season, or 36 episodes) - trailer here.
This one gutted me. I'm saying this as a compliment. But it had to be said. Completely destroyed me. I just haven't been the same.
A love story between an Orchid Fairy and the leader of the Moon Tribe that starts out with her accidentally releasing him from millennia long imprisonment and then takes you through the caleidoscope of all possible human emotions (it's a body-swap comedy through the first part, then a romcom, then a dramatic romantic tale, and finally a tragic love story).
But it's such a satisfying slow burn.
And it carries this... humanity through the whole thing that makes it so visceral.
If you're a romantic who's very tired of instalove and characters dropping all their morals because 'ooh, attractive person' then you've got to watch this. Because this story does NOT take the easy road there.
(my more extensive rec for this series can be found here)
9. Star Wars: The Clone Wars - (containing 7 seasons, or 133 episodes) - fanmade trailer here (it was better than any of the official ones).
This series did so much. Introduced Ahsoka Tano, and made us love her. Gave names and faces and souls to the Clone Troopers (okay, it's the same face but you know what I mean), to a point where their endings during Order 66 destroyed me just as much as the ending of the Jedi Order. And somehow made me both love Anakin AND be a million times more angry with him.
There are some arcs in this series that might be a bit weaker. But there were some... god, there's a reason I love Clone Wars more than any other series or trilogy in this universe. And I'm not even a little ashamed to say it.
Must watch for Disaster Lineage shenanigans; for the vod'e; AND for the Jedi (who did their best okay? They always did their best šš).
(and on the subject of found family... do I even need to comment)
10. Nikita - (containing 4 seasons, or 73 episodes) - trailer here.
A rogue assassin that escaped Division - covert government agency that takes recruits out of prison, fakes their deaths and then forces them to become spies and assassins - has come back to take it down. Brick by brick if she has to. With guns and explosives too when that works better.
Contains soooo many cool fight scenes. Is full of incredible characters you'll fall in love with (and hate with) very quickly. And most of all has an incredibly complex relationship of mentorship and friendship between two women that holds both great admiration and betrayal, real care and love as well as rage and hatred, forgiveness, mutual respect and an unbreakable kind of bond that so very rarely involves even one female character on TV, let alone two.
(as usual, found family tropes up the wazzoo).
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In conclusion. We all know there's going to be a large space between seasons of our favorite shows now (and some shows that aren't going to survive it). Let's fill that space with some excellent TV we haven't had a chance to see yet.
And direct the blame for the wait towards the right place (i.e. the studios).
#leverage#killjoys#orphan black#person of interest#12 monkeys#the good place#avatar the last airbender#love between fairy and devil#the clone wars#star wars#clone wars#lbfad#atla#nikita#terapsina rambles#terapsina's tv rambles#tv recommendations#tv recs#tv rec#long post#sag aftra#it's possible i wrote out this whole thing just to talk myself into doing some rewatches#it seems to be working if yes#terapsina's leverage rambles#terapsina's killjoys rambles#terapsina's poi rambles#terapsina's the good place rambles#terapsina's atla rambles#terapsina's lbfad rambles
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Happy Audio Drama Sunday! What a week! Let's talk about audio drama!
ā° Nine To Midnight has its own feed now, which I appreciate, as a listener to many of the involved pods, because I didn't get like six iterations of the show in my feed. I did have to go seek it out though, but I'm so glad I did. These stories!!! These STORIES. The second episode in particular stuck out, just banger after banger. Also, what's up David Ault! Always fun to watch David Ault flex.
š Dungeons and Daddies this week was on the short side, but woof. I. Love. The Stamplers. I love them. I love you Ron Stampler and Terry Jr. Stampler and Scary Terri Marlowe Stampler. They are ridiculous and excellent. Honestly though, their wonderful energy was just the prelude to the truly heartbreaking Close clan. These boys are so deep in denial they ought to be worried about the bends. Yikes. I'm really looking forward to watching them try to save hell and make up for lost time.
ā”ļø Electromancy! Of COURSE it's all happening at the dance. What kind of school story would this be if everything wasn't going to go down at the dance? Like with all fantasy about young people, I love the mixture of extremely high stakes (colonialism and revolution) and extremely low stakes (but what am I going to WEAR). I can't wait for part two. @electromancypodcast
š Keep It Steady!!! New episode of Keep It Steady! Our teenage burnout is faced with the mortifying ordeal of having real friends who love him, which is a wild thing for a teen to have to accept when he has zero self esteem. And then on top of everything, he gets concussed! My boy! @keepitsteadypod
āļø The Adventure Zone Imbalance has appeared on the feed, which is a relief to me, a person who hates listening to things on youtube. And Davenport is there! My main man! If y'all need to know anything about me, it's that I love Davenport. I missed these guys so much.
š Travelling Light is a new show from @monstrousproductions, and I am THRILLED. I love a travelogue, I love a character with ties to religion, I love a warm scifi show, I love a recipe. I know from their tumblr that the writer and narrator of this show is Quaker, which is a tradition I'm not very familiar with, so I'm interested to see how that perspective influences this story. It's just so NICE.
š» I started listening to Magenta Presents this week, in an effort to listen to everything Lindsay Sharman has ever done, and this is spooky. Beth Eyre is always a treat to listen to, and Lucy Roslyn, whose work I am not familiar with, is also a fantastic actor. They have great chemistry. I love a true ghost story, and I love a protagonist who feels like she's slowly losing her mind. @longcatmedia
šŖ I've finally arrived at the bit of Woe.Begone where other actors are showing up, and surprise! It's David Ault again! He's everywhere! I haven't interacted with fans of this show, so I had no idea, and apparently fans hate his character. To be fair, I did too, but now David's here doing the voice, and it's so much WORSE. Well done, David.
š I finished s1 of Gastronaut and started s2, and I find myself enamored with this guy, coming from a place of relative privilege, tearing his preconceptions apart with a fork and a knife. The writing is lush, the story is fascinating, and it really hits the spot for me of "moody thoughtful nonfiction." I love it so much. I can't believe there are only two seasons. How dare they. (I trust them though.)
š§š»āāļø Re: Dracula is done, and we have announced Carmilla! My role in Carmilla will be less than it was for Drac, but I'm still very excited to get in on making this story. It's going to be amazing.
š§āāļø The Dead's second episode has appeared, and I am continually impressed with the people I work with. What a death scene from Marquis Moore! What good acting from Brandon Nguyen! They are a joy to direct.
As for me, I'm about to start getting Inn Between ready to post! Are you hype? I'm hype. If you like what I do and want to give me a hand, please check out my ko-fi!
See you next week!
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Some problems with episode 2 of season 2 of Interview with The vampire (after a day to think on it)
I already posted my review of episode 2 of season 2 of Interview with the vampire but there was more to say. First, the actress who played the victim on the stage was excellent. That woman is a GREAT actress! Most of the actors are great. It's the writing and showrunning that bothers me. But here's where the show's nihilism gets to me. Apparently the show writers / showrunner is so cynical he can't comprehend the idea of someone being decent enough to NOT ask that someone take her place. Instead of the innocent girl who wouldn't dare pick someone to suffer in her place, this one- though still sympathetic- attempted to pick someone in the audience to be her substitute. This bothered me. There's no narrative purpose to change it other than to almost sociologically say "Everyone, no matter how innocent they seem, is ultimately just out for themselves." And that's not true to Anne Rice's views, Anne Rice still believed in goodness and kindness despite her protagonists usually being blood draining monsters. Another problem I had was when it was revealed that the theatre knew who Lestat was, there's a WHOLE scene of Daniel mocking them for it. Acting like it's a cheesy Soap opera trope even though it makes perfect sense since Lestat was made a vampire in Paris (we knew this much) and the vampire population is kind of limited. It felt like a dig at the source material's writing as being cheesy and cliche when really it was not. "We went to my ex's home town, and would you believe the small population there remembered him!" Why is that being treated as corny and far fetched and soapy?
Also they obviously tried to fix a mistake from the first season by having Daniel condescendingly explain you shouldn't touch old photos and documents with gloved fingers even though he, himself, did a few nights earlier (last season). This is a gaping continuity error to fix their own behind-the-scenes mistake. They shouldn't have bothered trying to fix it. Now it's like "Why didn't he think of that before?" Also I'm glad Maven of the Eventide (well known vampire fiction critic on Youtube) also noticed the ridiculous amount of smoking scenes. I thought I was the only one bothered by that and was starting to feel OCD or hyperfixated that it bothered me.
#Interview with the Vampire#Anne RIce#Anne Rice's Interview with the vampire#The Vampire Chronicles#Louis de Pointe du Lac#Lestat de Lioncourt
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Late night duel-watching!
Normally fight/battle scenes in movies are shitty due to the problem of "the actors have not ACTUALLY trained for years in weaponry" or "we don't want TOO MANY hospital bills," but a Viking reenactment site (http://www.vikingsofbjornstad.com/VikingMovies.shtm#Vikings1958) named the 2004 "Troy" film's duel between Achilles (Brad Pitt) and Hector (Eric Bana) as an excellent example of preindustrial single combat, and they're right! Reviews of the rest of the movie seem to be mixed, but when you're doing a war movie, you do as much as you can for the fight scenes. Except for the duel between Paris and Menelaus, which is an intentional aversion. See, Paris is a wimp and after like two hits from the forty-eight-year-old king who wants to kill him for running off with his young and sexy wife, Paris panics and runs/crawls crying to his brother Hector. Near the end of the film, we see WHY Paris hid behind Big Bro. First off, Achilles and Hector use their spears like actual spears, not like pointy staves or broomsticks! Example: I love The Mandalorian, but sometimes Din swings his beskar spear like he's clearing a path through the jungle. I noticed that at some points, Hector is visibly having trouble juggling his spear and shield while trying to tank all of Achilles' hits, which seems to be due to the small but REALLY important differences between shields--Hector's got a plain circular shield, and Achilles' shield has notched sides that clearly let him aim his spear better. In the Iliad poem, Achilles got a new set of armor crafted by the smith-god Hephaestus, so that obviously gave him a BIG advantage over poor, mortal Hector with his mortal weapons. Once they both break the other's spear and have to switch to swords, Achilles loses his advantage and neither of them can keep a distance anymore, so they're constantly in each other's faces and shoving at each other. These two put the CLOSE in close-combat, and I love it! A lot of times, the actors in duels (or "duel-like showdowns" in modern movies) are obviously staying far apart or barely making contact for 1) insurance purposes, or 2) doing flashy moves to show off, but not Achilles and Hector. Achilles does seem to be toying with Hector because he is just so damn fast, but I love that when these two make contact, you can FEEL it. Leading to something I noticed, in how it DIDN'T show up: A lot of camera crews don't know/care how to shoot fighting or dance scenes where the whole body is involved, so you often get the camera crew zooming in so much on the actors' pretty faces that we can't see the rest of them DANCE/FIGHT, but this crew does not make that mistake! Especially notable since it's Eric Bana versus Brad Pitt, two extremely pretty men! No, we get a couple of nice portrait shots for their pre-fight talk, and then as Pharaoh Atem from Yu-Gi-Oh says: "IT'S TIME TO DUEL." We get some really great shots of their fights at a distance as well as close-up, and it's almost shot like the moving version of comic-book panels. A+ for both the realism and the great way of shooting it! Apparently Brad Pitt and Eric Bana didn't use stunt doubles and also had a running bet on how many accidental hits they'd land on each other. Brad accidentally hit Eric A LOT. The different combat styles are well-shown: There's a sense of HEAVINESS with Hector, who knows he's going to die in front of his people, but cannot avoid it, but he will fight anyway to buy his people a little bit more time. This contrasts Achilles' seething rage, his need for vengeance/glory, and his lightning-fast footwork. Especially since he's literally described with the epithet of "swift-footed" in the Iliad! If the writers and director knew about this, A+ for reading your source material! I really like how they use shots of the sandy field in front of Troy's wall to give the sense that these two are EXPOSED, especially since they've taken off their helmets for physical "exposure." You're forced to look at them. Normally I want people to wear their damn helmets, and taking them off is a dumb move to show the actor's face, but given the context where Hector mistakenly fought Patroclus in Achilles' armor and Achilles went "LOOK, IT'S ME THIS TIME! LET'S GO!", to which Hector takes his own helmet off as a show of honor, this is a great exception. It also gives the sense of inevitability. Again, Hector is going to die--he doesn't need a helmet anymore. The realistic close combat also has the effect of making Achilles' speed and his superhero vault-stab move look terrifying and otherworldly. The Trojan royal family's reactions were a more polite version of my horrified face. Fucking hell, if I was a camp-follower on the ground and saw Achilles literally roll UP to stab Hector, I would absolutely think that Achilles is a demigod. At bare minimum, I'd think he borrowed Hermes' sandals, but Hermes is friends with everyone, so I don't know if that counts. Folks have said Achilles looks like an Assassin's Creed character. People also note that the vault-stab is usually Achilles' FINISHING move, but the fact that he uses it right out of the gate against Hector says just how much he wants this dude to die. A+ duel. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQ62frK74u0
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Watching John Wick 3 tonight bc apparently I never saw it and the fella wants to see #4 this weekend so we're (and by we I mean me) liveblogging like it's 2009. Snacks: nearby. Disbelief: suspended. Let's go.
10:15p HE IS IN A WEAPON MUSEUM. EXCELLENT START. I have not seen a sillier amount of knives thrown around outside of an Itchy and Scratchy cartoon.
10:23 Now he is on a horse with the most beautiful hair in the world. Truly the Keanu Reeves of horses. (Side note: horses naturally have violence in their hearts this makes sense)
1027 fuck yeah Anjelica Houston is running the Department of Tragic Backstory. Oooooh she has Caravaggio's Judith Beheading Holofernes over her mantle. Gentileschi's two versions of Judith Slaying Holofernes were my hyperfixation last fall so I happen to have a coffee table book in front of me with that exact painting in it.
10:36 The Adjudicator is staying in room 217 at the Continental, the room number Stephen King stayed in at the Stanley Hotel and got spooked and wrote a shining.
10:50 Not for nothing but I feel like Anjelica Houston got off a little easy with a punishment that was essentially Double Avocado Slicing Accident. Oh and a lot of her henchfolk got murdered I guess.
10:55 Is the "seek the dog star" reference bc everything is dog themed here or bc. Y'know. Dogstar.
10:57 Retuning to our Dog Revenge roots I see. (Important note: The dog is okay!) Side note: you know there was a long writers' room conversation about making John Wick's new dog a super cool dog assassin and someone was like "no, he doesn't want that life for his dog but I do like the sound of 'dog assassin.'" so they had to make up some new dog characters to be dog assassins.
11:08 Larry Fish is just the best. That is all.
11:14 Jesus Fuck why is every IOU in this universe cashed in with a side of Body Horror?! Also I had always assumed that was his wedding ring on account of John Wick being a Dead Wife Guy. (I have a whole Wife Guy Taxonomy post I'm pecking at btw.)
11:18 Motorcycle Katana Fight. Followed by John Wick literally touching Base to be declared safe in Murder Tag.
11:23 Chekhov's Very Pointy Chess Pieces?
11:25 The thing about these movies is every single actor in it seems to be having a goddamn blast.
11:32: Activate the Emergency Color Changing Rope Lights! Big fancy switch for what nerds do with a smart speaker.
11:43 This series fucking LOVES a Hall Of Mirrors fight. Love how everyone is like "it is an absolute honor to try and murder you sir. Big fan, sir. HUGE fan."
11:48 I'm sure someone has written a solid essay on why John Wick is hot in a tumblrina sort of way, all I have is this wall covered in thumbtacks and red string and scraps of paper with things like "SUIT ACTUALLY FITS" and "PERPETUALLY DAMP" "IS KEANU REEVES" and "BLOOD?" written on them.
11:58 OOF. That was a lot of falls. Baby boy is having such a week.
12:00a LAR. RY. FIIIIIIIIIIISH.
Well dang I guess I was wrong about the Very Pointy Chess Set. I do hope ol' JDubs gets like, 12 hours to a week to catch some sleep and not get shot at between the end of #3 and the beginning of #4.
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Behind the Scenes: Jim Sarbh's Method Acting and Dedication to his Craft
Jim Sarbh, the talented actor known for his captivating performances, is also renowned for his method acting and unwavering dedication to his craft. Behind the scenes, Jim's commitment to bringing his characters to life goes beyond the confines of the screen. In this article, we delve into the world of Jim Sarbh's method acting and explore the immense effort and passion he puts into his portrayals.
Embracing the Method Acting Approach
Jim Sarbh is known for his adoption of the method acting approach, where he immerses himself fully into the mindset and emotions of his characters. This technique allows him to bring an authentic and nuanced performance to the screen. Jim's deep dive into his roles involves extensive research, studying the historical and cultural context, and tapping into the psychological depths of his characters. This commitment shines through in every scene he portrays.
Transforming into the Characters
Jim Sarbh's dedication to his craft involves physical and emotional transformations to convincingly portray his characters. Whether it's undergoing drastic physical changes or mastering accents and dialects, he goes to great lengths to embody the essence of his roles. For his portrayal as a hijacker in "Neerja," Jim shaved off his hair to accurately portray the character's distraught mental state. Such transformations demonstrate his willingness to push boundaries in order to deliver an authentic and unforgettable performance.
Creating Memorable on-screen Chemistry
One of Jim Sarbh's strengths lies in his ability to establish remarkable on-screen chemistry with his co-stars. His dedication to his craft becomes even more apparent in his collaborative efforts to create believable and impactful performances. By actively listening and responding to his co-stars, he elevates the overall dynamics and enhances the emotional depth of each scene. His commitment to authenticity in these interactions contributes to the memorable movie moments we have come to associate with Jim Sarbh.
Inspiring Collaborations
Jim Sarbh's dedication to his craft extends to his collaborative relationships with directors, writers, and fellow actors. Through open and honest communication, he actively contributes to the creative process, offering unique perspectives and insights. This collaborative spirit not only fosters a supportive working environment but also leads to innovative and thought-provoking storytelling. Jim's commitment to excellence in his craft elevates the work of everyone involved and inspires others to explore new artistic possibilities.
Conclusion: A Testament to Dedication and Artistry
In conclusion, Jim Sarbh's method acting and dedication to his craft are a testament to his commitment and artistic integrity. With each role he undertakes, he immerses himself fully, creating multi-dimensional characters that captivate audiences. His physical and emotional transformations, collaborative efforts, and commitment to authenticity showcase his unwavering dedication to bringing powerful performances to life. As we continue to witness Jim's remarkable abilities on screen, we eagerly await the new depths and dimensions he will explore in future projects.
Sources:
Source 1
Source 2
Source 3
Source 4
Source 5
Source 6
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I ā (we're off to a great start) don't personally have a problem with reading fanfiction that's being told in first person, and if the character voice in my mind insists enough during the creative process then I do lean into writing that way.
There is a trend I observed that's scapegoating fanfiction and YA literature together for the decline of media literacy (Zynart in that 'ābook loversā donāt love anything about books and itās weird' post, and video essayist Laura Crone in 'the pink aisle of crime fiction must be stopped'āto be clear, both were excellent otherwise but I was confused by their going right to disparaging fanfictions and YA Lit without qualifying why those modes and categories of prose apparently deserved to be disparaged. It was giving bandwagon.)
I say it's important to note that those two ā fanfiction and YA Lit ā get fashionably disparaged in the same breath because of this one detail:
Young Adult gets told in first person as an industry standard.
I learned that bit from interviews with a singer/actor turned author that I admire. His debut original novel was YA, and he initially expected his editor to tell him to cut down on the cussing or limit the number of implied sex scenes...but the actual instructions this author got was that he has to tell the story in first person.
And I think that's related in a roundabout way to somebody I used to know offline having two dealbreakers in book recommendations: Is it told in first person? Is the protagonist a teenaged girl? If the answer is yes to either, then she won't touch it. She already knows she's going to hate that book.
My points of reference are scant: only two unrelated internet essayists threw in a "fanfictions and YA literature bad", so it's not exactly a widespread meme that I can really call scapegoating or hate-bandwagoning if a whole two people did it one time each years ago; the stated personal experience of one dilettante YA Lit author who's moving on to writing adult autofiction? memoirs? next anyway; and one, uh, that.
But if you will allow me a red string corkboard meme moment...
...I'm finding a pattern, here...
First person prose is getting stigmatized as conceited and immature.
And as you pointed out, plenty of classical literature gets told in first person. Well, yes, and I think that's because during that era, if I recall this was around the 19th century, it was third person that was getting stigmatized as "unrealistic" and therefore philosophically unfashionable. First person in adult literature was probably industry standard to stay profitable during that trend back when, for very different reasons that first person would be an industry-standard imposition on YA Lit today.
But because YA Lit is marketed towards younger people and read by younger people, then I suspect the mere exposure can get inexperienced readers who become inexperienced writers most likely to publish a fanfiction that is also in first personāif that's what they're more often shown, that most of what they read is told in first person.
That inexperience might show in other ways: difficulty capturing and replicating character voice, stilted descriptions, limited understanding of character motivations if it's in conflict with the fanfiction author's favorite, difficulty writing subtext, difficulty committing to plot or polishing things up for pacingāEven experienced writers will have some of these weaknesses, but when it's all together like this and almost always in first person while being like this...then fanfiction readers pick up on that pattern and then they get snobbish about the use of first person in the same way as my offline acquaintance up there.
Recently I saw a lot people complain about fanfictions that are written in first person and I do not agree.
Yeah of course you can have your own preferences and it's totally fine to not read what you don't enjoy. You do you!
But like I personally don't get why that's a problem? Can't a fic be well written and life changing in first person? Why is third person better?
Also as a fic writer myself this really makes me kind of insecure about my writing. Most of my fics are in third person, but there are two in first, because I think it's necessary to tell their story.
So could someone enlighten me and tell me what you guys think is so bad?
Also why is it accepted in many (classic) novels, but not in fanfic?
Why do you guys don't like your blorbo telling a story frrom their perspective?
I'm looking forward to your answers!
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the art of the rom-com | jjk
summary:Ā FILM395, the art of the rom-com, was supposed to be an easy a with one of your favorite professors, but itās not. itās actually a sisyphean torture that comes in the form of fellow film student jeon jungkook, who has no problem responding to every one of your discussion posts about the consumerist ideals underlying every romance movie with his own paragraphs on the beauty of love like the hopeless romantic he is. and when the two of you find yourselves partnered up for your final project, which is to create a short film on rom-coms, jungkook decides to take it upon himself to show you what love is really like.
{enemies to lovers!au, college!au}
pairing: film major!jungkook x film major!reader (female) genre: fluff, comedy, slight angst, this is literally a rom-com in fic form word count: 33k warnings: college alcohol consumption, discussion board posts, emotionally constipated characters, film major shenanigans, blonde jungkook whoās also in a hip hop dance troupe, miscommunication, if you hate rom-coms do not read this fic
a/n:Ā i am so so so excited to share this monster of a jungkook fic (tho letās be real, 30k is pretty standard for me now ;-;) with you all! this is basically rom-com trash, but itās my rom-com trash, and i hope you all enjoy!
on a sadder, less exciting note: after this fic i will be taking an extended writing hiatus until at least the beginning of may. my semester is picking up and i unfortunately just donāt currently have any upcoming fics planned for you guys. i hope you understand!! maybe iāll do a couple of ask games here and there to see if anything piques my interest, but other than that please do not expect major works of writing for a while. love you all!
500 Days of Summer is a movie you all have probably seen before. That being said, I encourage you to respond to this discussion board from a film perspective as opposed to a viewerās perspective. How did 500 Days of Summer alter the classic narrative of boy-meets-girl? Do you think it was a smart move, on the parts of Webb, Neustadter, and Weber, to do so? Why or why not?
Jeon Jungkook on February 12th at 9:53PM
I thought that the change in the boy-meets-girl narrative that had been popularized by rom-coms of the 1990s definitely contributed to his popularity and its attractiveness towards viewers in general. The film makes it clear that the story does not have a so-called happy ending, but despite that, it still brings into discussion the idea of love and soulmates and true connection. And thatās important, because despite the filmās not-so-happy ending, it makes it a point to emphasize that those things are real. That love is real. I thought it was an excellent move on the parts of the writers and director, because they both broke standards in terms of happy endings in rom-coms and they stayed true to the message at hand.Ā
Y/N Y/L/N on February 12th at 10:29PM
I have to disagree with Jungkook. Itās obvious the movie is not going to have a happy ending because Tom is so obsessed with the version of Summer he has created in his head that he doesnāt even see who the real girl is anymore. It doesnāt have a happy ending not because they werenāt soulmates, or because their love wasnāt right. They break up because what Tom wants and what Summer wants are fundamentally different, and Tom just canāt accept the fact that Summer doesnāt love him the way he wants her to. In a desperate quest to keep her, though, he manifests this version of her and replaces the actual Summer with it, ultimately destroying their relationship. How could viewers ever have faith that Tom would eventually get his happy ending if the only proof of his commitment to relationships they have is him manufacturing a different girl to fall in love with?
When you walk into class, Jeon Jungkook is already there.Ā
He sits in the front row, the seat closest to the door in your puny little classroom, much too small for twenty-students to fit comfortably, let alone watch movies on the pull-down projector screen above the chalkboard. Youāre convinced heās chosen that seat just so he can grin at you whenever you walk in the room, always later than him because apparently, he has nothing better to do with his time than show up to class early and smirk at you when you arrive.Ā
As you shuffle past his seat towards your ownāsecond row, middle of the room, centered with the lecturerās podiumāwith your usual scowl drawn neatly across your face, Jungkook says, overly bright and cheery, āGood morning, Y/N.ā
The sound of his voice alone is enough to make your nose scrunch up in further disgust. āShut up,ā you grumble back, stuffing yourself into your chair and pulling out your laptop. One row in front of you and five seats to the right, you see Jungkook chuckle.Ā
Glowering, you open up your Notes document for the class and try to avoid staring at Jungkookās side profile, the way heās slouching lazily in his seat, and what looks to be a lengthy paragraph on his computer screen, a task that proves to be particularly difficult because he happens to sit in the exact spot you have to look in order to see your professor enter the room. What the hell is he even writing, anyway?
He straightens up the moment she does, cheerful as always as she smiles at everyone. āGood morning, everyone.ā
The lot of you respond with halfhearted smiles and waves.Ā
āI can just feel the enthusiasm radiating throughout the room,ā she jokes, clenching her fists together in success. At least that gets a couple of you to laugh. āWhich is great, because before we get to anything today, weāre gonna talk about the final project.ā
You smile to yourself, immediately pulling up the copy of the syllabus you had downloaded to your desktop, scrolling right down to where she had outlined information about the final project in big, bolded letters. There are a lot of reasons youāve taken this class, not the least of which is the fact that you have had Professor Pollack three times prior to this and sheās loved you in every class, but the final project was definitely one of the major selling points.Ā
Pollack pulls up a more detailed final project document on the projector as she steps out from behind the podium. āAs you guys know, your final project is a thirty-to-forty minute short film involving rom-coms. You guys have a lot of freedom, it can be a rom-com, it could be a documentary about rom-coms, anything. It just needs to involve the topic of rom-coms somehow. I know a lot of you have actor friends who would be more than happy to have a star-crossed lovers fling or whatever. Go wild. Just keep it PG-13, because I canāt in good faith have nude bodies of your fellow college students on my screen.ā
You snort to yourself. Makes you wonder how many times Pollack has seen sex scenes of college students on her screen before. Too many, probably.Ā
Unintentionally, your eyes drift over to Jungkook. He seems to be working on that hefty paragraph of his, typing something you assume is completely unrelated to the topic at hand and is further proof that Jungkook just doesnāt give a shit about anything involving this class. Whatever. You turn back to Pollack.Ā
āGood projects not only capture the essence of what a rom-com is, but also put their own twist on the story and bring into question the topics we discuss in class, like truthfulness, realistic portrayals of love, and viewer interpretation,ā she continues, and with every word you feel heart beat faster in excitement. āI know youāre all excellent filmmakers. Thatās why youāve taken this class. But what I want you to do is get into the nitty-gritty of the makeup of a rom-com and distill it as much as possible. Weāll be watching them all in class during the last week. Yes, Celia?ā
You all turn to look at Celia, who sits in the third row, second seat from the left. āThis is a partner project, right?āĀ
Well. Thatās the one downside. As much as you know that cooperation is an important life skill, you would much rather prefer to produce the entire movie yourself. But you love Pollack and you already know youāre on track to get a good grade in this class, so whatever. Youāll deal.Ā
As long as you can pick your teammate.Ā
āYes,ā Pollack affirms, āand with that excellent segue, I will now announce your partners.ā
Shit.Ā
Pollack pulls out a folded piece of paper from her back pocket, like she had just come up with the arrangements on the morning train ride to campus, and begins reading. Slowly, as she ticks off names one by one, everyone begins to turn around, locking eyes with their partners and exchanging guess-itās-us-two-huh? smiles. Everyone exceptā
āAnd lastly, Jungkook and Y/N.ā
You freeze in place. You look up at your professor, eyes wide and shocked, because nobody knows better than her how much the two of you have been butting heads this entire semester. But when you meet her eyes and she smiles knowingly, shrugging her shoulders, you know youāre doomed. Hesitantly, almost like youāre scared to find out what happens when you do, you shift your gaze towards where Jungkook sits in the front right corner of the room. Only heās not just sitting. Heās turned a full one hundred-and-eighty degrees just so he can smirk at you from across the room, a glint in his eye.Ā
Jungkook laughs at your cold-stone, shellshocked reaction. Like he knows how much youāll hate this, and you know how much heāll enjoy it.Ā
From here, you actually have a pretty good view of his laptop screen, brightness turned all the way up because he apparently doesnāt care who reads his screen. Or maybe he just likes showing off how much he writes so he can establish dominance over everyone else. Except you, of course. But when you look a little closer, you notice heās got the class discussion board for the week up on his Chrome window, two paragraphs typed into the text box.Ā
Right above is your response to his comment.Ā
Is that what he was working on? His reply to your reply? Right now? He has the audacity to draft it right here, in front of you, where he knows you can see? He doesnāt even care that youāre blatantly staring at it. In fact, he actually seems to be relishing in it.
Youāre so caught off guard by the contents of his computer screen that when you look back up at him on instinct, you catch a wink in your direction.Ā
Your fists tighten by your side.Ā
Class is rather uneventful after the whole partner fiasco, as Pollack transitions into your usual dose of a short lecture on the film and then a class discussion that goes absolutely nowhere because everyone is too concerned with the final project to care. Whatever you talk about, you will be hard pressed to know, because you spend the entire rest of the period scowling at the blank page of your Notes document as you try to formulate a way to convince Pollack to change your partner. Would she accept a dozen doughnuts as a bribe? A box is only ten dollars from Dunkinā.
When Pollack finally shuts her laptop screen and begins her weekly goodbye spiel, you are the first one out of the room. Hastily, you stuff your laptop into your bag, zip it up as best as you can (which means that the tops of your water bottle and umbrella are sticking out, but who cares), and shuffle out the room right as Pollack is bidding you all farewell, just so you donāt have to look at Jungkookās stupid, smug little grin on the way out.Ā
Faintly, you remember Pollack saying something about getting your partnerās contact information so you can start working, but fuck that. Jungkook knows your name. He can find you. If you must spend the entire semester communicating through Instagram DMs, then so be it. Youāve communicated with men in worse ways. Like through LinkedIn.
Thereās a small seating area half a flight down from where your puny little classroom is, a few tables and a bench that wraps around the wall, posters splayed out on the corkboard to the right, staples littering both the board and the floor it rests above. Nobody ever seems to use this, despite the innumerable posters advertising everything from dance troupe shows to financial literacy talks, which makes it the perfect place for you to brood and gather your thoughts. Itās also in the direct opposite direction of the exit. So thatās good.
Taking your anger out on your personal belongings (as opposed to that bitchass smirk on Jungkookās face), you begin to shove your umbrella and water bottle into the pocket of your backpack, fighting to nestle them amongst your other worldly possessions, like your pencil case and what looks to be a small nest of receipts at the bottom of the back. No wonder itās so clogged up down there.Ā
If anything gives you a sense of control, itās cleaning. One by one, you pluck out the receipts from your bag, nose scrunching up as you try to remember every purchase youāve made in the past three months. Plus, one of these receipts is from when you bought some dryer sheets from CVS, so that means the five inches of actual information are also accompanied by three feet of coupons that expired two weeks ago. Ugh, what a waste.Ā
āDonāt look so angry, youāll have to get used to seeing this face a lot.ā
You look up from where youāve been inspecting an old receipt from a midnight McDonaldās trip to find Jungkook standing in front of you, backpack hanging loosely on his bomber jacket-clad shoulder and that same stupid grin written all over his same stupid face.Ā
āCan I help you?ā You drawl. Great. Now Jungkook can add āsaw all her receiptsā to the list of embarrassing things heās caught you doing.Ā
āCan I help you?ā Jungkook fires back with a scoff, blonde hair bouncing as he jerks his head flippantly. āLooks like someone needs to take an Accounting class or something.ā
āIām just doing some spring cleaning,ā you sneer. Itās February. āWhat do you want?ā
āWhat, no āHello, partnerā? āSo excited to be working with you this semesterā? Iām hurt,ā Jungkook says, placing a hand to his heart as he shakes his head disapprovingly. āI thought we had something good, Y/N. Isnāt that why Pollack paired us up?ā
Youāre pretty sure she just likes watching the world burn.Ā
āDonāt flatter yourself,ā you chide, knowing that Jungkook already must get enough of a kick out of just seeing the annoyed look on your face.Ā
āPlease, like I even need to. You think I donāt notice the way you stare at me during class? I know you must like what you see,ā Jungkook flirts, just to be extra irritating.Ā
While heās stroking his own ego, you tear off a piece of that CVS receipt, one of the expired coupons for Three Dollars Off Any Shampoo or Conditioner, and scribble your number on the back. The rest of the receipts you scoop up and dump in the trash can to your right before you zip up your backpack and hike it over your shoulder.Ā
āHere,ā you say gruffly, shoving the paper against his chest as you head towards the stairwell.Ā
āHow forward of you, Y/N, you know you could have just askedāā
Pausing right before you turn the corner and head out the door, you turn back to look at Jungkook, already exhausted from having to interact with him for five minutes. āAnd when youāre done jerking yourself off,ā you say pointedly, ātext me.ā
You storm out the door.
[February 13th, 1:24PM]
Unknown Number: guess who ;)
You: Wow I have NO idea You: Keanu Reeves?
Unknown Number: haha very funny Unknown Number: itās jungkook
You: Damn shame You: You done jerking off yet
Maybe: Jungkook: what makes you think iām not doing that right now ;)))
You: You donāt have the coordination to text me and masturbate at the same time You: What do you want
Jungkook: ouch, harsh Jungkook: canāt i just want to talk to my final project partner? :D
[February 13th, 2:17PM]
Jungkook: alright fine Jungkook: just wanna see when you wanna meet up
You: Guess I donāt have a choice do I
Jungkook: unless you wanna facetime
You: Is that an option?
Jungkook: how about friday at 3 Jungkook: in one of the greene gsrs
You: You think you can manage to reserve one of those?
Jungkook: watch me
[February 13th, 2:21PM]
Jungkook: [screenshot sent] Jungkook: done
You: Do you want a gold star for all that hard work you just did? All that manual labor? You: Fine. See you then.
Jungkook: miss you already <3
Y/N Y/L/N on February 12th at 10:29PM
I have to disagree with Jungkook. Itās obvious the movie is not going to have a happy ending because Tom is so obsessed with the version of Summer he has created in his head that he doesnāt even see who the real girl is anymore. It doesnāt have a happy ending not because they werenāt soulmates, or because their love wasnāt right. They break up because what Tom wants and what Summer wants are fundamentally different, and Tom just canāt accept the fact that Summer doesnāt love him the way he wants her to. In a desperate quest to keep her, though, he manifests this version of her and replaces the actual Summer with it, ultimately destroying their relationship. How could viewers ever have faith that Tom would eventually get his happy ending if the only proof of his commitment to relationships they have is him manufacturing a different girl to fall in love with?
Jeon Jungkook on February 13th at 7:35PM.
You make a good point, Y/N, but I think you missed the whole point of the movie. Itās not about their breakup or the not-so-happy ending or even Tomās problems. Itās about the journey they go on and what Tom learns in the process. If you watch the trailer then youād go into the movie knowing they werenāt gonna last. The results of whatever Tom and Summer do to contribute to their eventual breakup should not come as a surprise to the viewer. The whole point of the movie is that they spent five hundred days together and Tom is now recounting those days to anyone who will watch. And you know whoās watching? People who want to hear a story. About love. And loss. And everything in between. Isnāt that the whole reason we watch romance movies anyway?
Sometimes, you wonder if the garishness of Professor Pollackās shoebox-sized office is the reason not very many students attend her office hours. The walls are lined with movie posters taken from a theater going out of business, the shelves stuffed to the brim with Disney World trinkets and old film memorabilia. Sheās installed these thick red velvet curtains along her single window, making the whole room look like some sort of 1950s movie lair.Ā
In a way, you suppose it kind of is.Ā
You hear the taps of her Converse shoes as they come down the hallway and round the corner into the office.
āYou know, Y/N, I was surprised to see you signed up for my office hours when I logged in this morning,ā Pollack says as she enters the room, handing you the coffee in her right hand as she takes a sip out of the one from her left. Last year, the film department bought a Breville coffee maker with the leftover funds from a movie showing fundraiser and it is, in your humble opinion, the best investment the department has ever made.
āWhy? I see you all the time,ā you ask, eyebrows raised. You and Professor Pollack are not lacking in social connection. Sheās written you a letter of recommendation and she knows your coffee order.Ā
āThe very first time we ever spoke outside of class, you sat down at my Starbucks table while I was eating lunch just so you could introduce yourself and ask me about my opinion on the Mamma Mia remake,ā she deadpans. āWe donāt exactly speak through official forums.ā
Well, sheās got you there.Ā
āI knowā¦ā you begin, trailing off awkwardly as you take a sip of your coffee. Itās burning hot and scalds your tongue a little, but itās nice. Itās been cold recently. āBut I just thought we could talkā¦ privately.ā
Pollack rolls her eyes as she reclines in her chair, back hitting the padding of the chair with a thud. āGoodness, I wonder what youāre here to talk to me about.ā
āOkay, please pardon my French, but what the freak, Professor?ā You say, because the words have been sitting hot on your tongue ever since you walked into your office and you didnāt think sending an email that looked like:
To: [email protected] From: y/[email protected] Subject: what the freak
Dear Professor Pollack,
What the freak?????????
Cheers, Y/N
would be very professional on your part.Ā
Pollack lets out this honk of a laugh, loud and sudden, shaking her head fondly. āCome on, Y/N. You must have known I would have partnered the two of you up.ā
āI was hoping youād let us choose?ā You emphasize.Ā
āAnd miss out on what very well may be one of the best final projects of the class, produced by my two best students of the semester? Absolutely not,ā she says, smiling knowingly at you.Ā
Even her sudden reveal that you happen to be one her best students this semester isnāt enough to soothe your worries and calm your anger. Youāre honored, but you have bigger problems. Problems that start with āJeonā and end with āJungkookā.Ā
Pollack looks at your beaten-down expression and leans forward, placing her coffee cup on the wooden desk in front of her. āListen, Y/N. Youāre an excellent student and one of the most talented filmmakers Iāve seen in a long time. Your discussion posts are detailed, well-written, and thought-provoking. I know that the two of you will make a great project.ā
You scoff. āWe canāt agree on a single thing.ā
āSometimes that happens in life, and you just have to deal with it,ā Pollack says sagely.Ā
āSo I canāt change partners?ā
āNot unless youād like to fail the final,ā Pollack comments, shrugging. How rude of her to say such a thing, not taking the option to change partners off the table entirely but making it so that if you do, youāll pretty much be shooting yourself in the foot. Or worse.Ā
You narrow your eyes at her. āThatās low.ā
āThatās life,ā she corrects.Ā
āUgh.ā You get up out of your seat, taking angry sips of your coffee as you desperately try to think of another way to get out of it. Are doughnuts still an option?
āI have full faith that the both of you will come up with an excellent project,ā Pollack says like itās some sort of consolation as she walks you to the door to her office. Yeah, right. You and Jungkook spend your free time making snide responses to each otherās discussion posts like itās nobodyās business. Youāre probably the only two people at your entire university that care enough to make replies to each otherās replies. Like Tinder from hell. āYou shouldnāt be worried, Y/N.ā
āIām not worried,ā you say, completely worried. āI justāI donāt know how Jungkook and I will get along.ā
Pollack grins to herself. Does she know something you donāt? Is she up to something? She looks at you as you linger in the doorway, feeling utterly helpless after a meeting that accomplished absolutely nothing, and she smiles.Ā
āYouāll find a way.āĀ
Reserving a group study room in the Greene Library and Collection should not be some gymnastics act that involves a warm-up, practice, a routine, and song and dance. In theory, all you have to do is log onto the libraryās homepage, navigate to the reservations tab, enter your name and ID number, pick a date and time, and profit.Ā
Of course, the demand for the study rooms does tend to outweigh the supply. There are over ten thousand students at your university. And only twenty rooms.Ā
And still, you have the unfortunate luck of being stuck in one of them for an hour and a half with none other than Jeon Jungkook.Ā
You see him coming into the library at 3PM sharp through the opposite entrance, a little surprised he didnāt show up ten minutes early like he does in class, just so he would have an excuse to complain about having to wait for you. Feeling a little threatened, you pick up the pace so that you can meet his lengthy stride, keeping an eye on his direction so you know which room heās aiming for.
You arrive at Greene GSR #18 at the exact same time.
āSo nice to see you,ā Jungkook says, too cheerful, as you reach out to open the door.Ā
āMmm,ā you mumble in response as you enter the room, flinging your backpack onto the floor by your chair with a thud as you take a seat. The faster you start, the faster you can get this over with.
Jungkook, not at all outwardly discouraged by your clear disdain for him, rallies on happily. āSo, what were you thinking for the project?ā But he doesnāt even let you open your mouth to answer before he says, āOh, wait, let me guess: a social commentary on the consumerist ideals that underline every modern movie and encourage the pursuit of an empty dream by abandoning concrete career and personal goals in favor of romantic fulfillment.ā
You scowl at him, even though thatās exactly what you were thinking of doing. Youāre almost positive Pollackās had enough of seeing college students try to engineer the craziest fake dating scenarios they can imagine just for a class project. Why not do something outside of the box?Ā
āWell, then what do you want to do?ā You challenge, already bristling. Like Jungkook has a better idea.Ā
āMaybe something that doesnāt scream ākilljoyā as much as you do,ā Jungkook retorts easily. He opens his mouth to spit out something else but then rolls his eyes and shrugs, shaking his head. āForget it. I shouldnāt have even asked.ā
āDonāt pin this on me,ā you immediately rebuke, pointing at him. āYouāre the one who wants to make some sort of generic rom-com for our final project. Besides, Iām pretty sure every idea you even think of will have been done already.ā
āJust because something is cliche doesnāt make it bad,ā Jungkook says. āI swear, I donāt think you understand what the word cliche even means. A cliche thing, by default, is something that lots of people like. Therefore, it is largely well-received by the general public.ā
āOh, then that must mean that all rom-coms are deserving of a Peopleās Choice Award then, right?ā
Jungkook frowns, getting exasperated. You arenāt much farther off. āI donāt know why youāre being soāso resistant! You know that romantic comedies are supposed to be fun, right?āĀ
āTheyāre not that fun to me,ā you comment snidely.Ā
āThatās because youāre a stick in the mud who takes everything way too seriously,ā Jungkook replies like itās some sort of known fact. āHave you ever even been in a relationship?ā
āThatās none of your business,ā you tell him firmly. Who does he think he is, going around asking that sort of thing? Especially to you! Like you could care any less about what Jungkook thinks of your love life. Intrusive, much? āBesides, you asking that is exactly my point. Not everything has to be about finding love and searching for your soulmate or whatever bullshit like that. Some people donāt really care that much.ā
āYou act like wanting to find love and wanting to be successful are mutually exclusive,ā Jungkook points out. āYou donāt have to abandon all of your life goals just to find love, you know. It doesnāt have to be the most important thing in your life for you to even care about it a little. Itās natural for people to want love.ā
āThen I guess Iām just a robot.ā
āYou sure are acting like one,ā Jungkook comments easily. āWhat, are you about to ask me to pick out all of the pictures with traffic lights?ā
āIām allowed to have my own views on love, just like you,ā you say. Isnāt that the whole point of your discussion boards? A forum where you can discuss these sorts of things through an academic lens? A barrier that keeps the two of you from going at each otherās throats when youāre engaging in the class material? It doesnāt take a genius, or even half of one, to know that you and Jungkook canāt seem to agree on anything in your FILM395 class.Ā
Jungkook scoffs. āWhat do you mean, āyour own views on loveā? As far as Iām aware, your view on love is that you donāt have one! What do you even think love really is?ā
You frown at him. āDoes it matter?ā
āYes,ā Jungkook says like itās obvious. āThis project is about filming a short romantic comedy, about people falling in love with each other. How do you expect me to do that if we donāt reach a mutual agreement on what love is?ā
You scoff. āThere is no way in hell I am going to agree with you on anything concerning love.ā Jeon Jungkook still thinks love is all rainbows and sunshine. Cries at the end of Love, Actually even though heās seen it five times already. Believes in soulmates. Believes there are people out there that were built for each other. He flutters from one person to the next like a butterfly, even though heās more like a moth drawn to any open flame within a five-mile radius. Heās convinced heāll find his true love here, in college, just like his parents found each other.Ā
Yeah, right.
āThen what are we supposed to do, huh?ā He says with an eyebrow raised. āWe have a month to make a movie thatās fifty percent of our grade.ā
āThe social commentary is still on the table,ā you point out. Sure, itās not at all a romantic comedy, but itās about them, which Pollack said was totally fine. Besides, she has been teaching you the entire semester, hasnāt she? She should know by now not to expect some cushy lovey-dovey story about two people who were destined to be with each other and can overcome all obstacles with their love.Ā
Deep down, a part of you wonders if thatās why she paired you up with Jungkook. If sheās had enough of the sappy love stories that Jungkook probably wanted to do, didnāt want to see another cynical commentary on capitalism in Hollywood.
āWow, what a thrilling idea,ā Jungkook deadpans. āPlease, tell me more.ā His voice is lifeless.Ā
āOh, shut up. Itās not like your idea would be any better. Who would we even get to star in a rom-com we filmed? Itās not like the two of us could do it.ā
You regret the words the instant they come out of your mouth. In horror, you watch as they sink into Jungkookās brain, etching themselves into his mind as a lightbulb turns on, a bright idea popping into his thoughts.Ā
He opens his mouth, but you get there first. āNo. Whatever youāre thinking, absolutely not. I am not starring in a rom-com with you.ā
That is something you can say with one-hundred percent confidence. Something that you know will never change.Ā
āJust hear me out,ā Jungkook pleads, looking a little desperate as he wrings his hands together, aching to spill the bubbling plan thatās been stewing in his head.Ā
You narrow your eyes in suspicion but lean back into your chair, a silent signal for him to continue. Itās not as if you have any better idea.sĀ
āOkay. Itās not a rom-com. Itās a mockumentary,ā he says, something that (and you canāt believe youāre saying this) actually piques your interest. Moreso than anything else heās ever said to you. āYou think love is totally manufactured, right? That Hollywood creates the illusion of it to sell to people paying twenty dollars for a movie ticket?ā
āYes.ā
āThen letās do that. Letās prove itās manufactured.ā
āAnd how do you plan on doing that?ā Itās not like you can walk into a factory and ask them to make the āloveā emotion for you.Ā
āWeāll be the stars.ā
He says it like itās the most obvious thing in the world. Like itās your best idea by a long shot, the home run of all home runs, your golden ticket to an A.
You scrunch up your nose, hesitant. āWait, I donāt knowāā
āItās perfect!ā Jungkook exclaims, eyes wide with excitement. āThink about it. Itāll be a mockumentary of a stereotypical rom-com. Except it wonāt be this big Hollywood production, itāll be real life. And it wonāt be between two paid actors with years of experience under their belt, itāll be us.ā His eyes are practically bulging out of his head, big brown eyes glinting with excitement.
āSo what are we gonna do? Act out our own rom-com in an attempt to see if either one of us will fall in love with the other?ā You say, an eyebrow raised.Ā
Jungkook shakes his head. āNot necessarily. Itās a mockumentary, right? So itās grounded in real life even if it is based upon the stereotypical boy-meets-girl rom-com. It wonāt be super scripted or anything. Think of it more likeā¦ a chronicle.ā
You scoff. āOf what?ā
āOf us,ā Jungkook says easily. āOf the time we have to spend together to film this damn project anyway. I say that rom-coms are emblematic of the natural human desire for love, and that deep down love is the thing that makes us happy. You say that rom-coms are consumerist propaganda, or whatever it is you think they areāā
āThey are, and you canāt change my mind about that,ā you interrupt, just for clarity. Canāt have Jungkook thinking heās going to somehow convince you otherwise.
āāso, with this project, letās see which one of us is right. If the time we have to spend together, making this mockumentary rom-com, will really change how we feel about each other, or if it wonāt.ā
How you feel about each other? You almost laugh when Jungkook says it out loud. Thereās no room for questioning in your mind when it comes to how you two feel about each other. Two desperate-to-please students with opposite views on the entire structure of a class and three years of experience arguing your points in essays under your belts.Ā
Jungkook believes in destiny, right? Then he must know that the two of you are destined to never get along.
āYou should be a car salesman,ā you joke. Jungkookās certainly excellent at pitches.
āSo, you in?ā
You narrow your eyes, still a little wary of whatever it is Jungkookās putting down. But itās not like you have any better ideas. And the sooner you agree on something, the sooner you can get this goddamn project over with and never have to sit in class with Jeon Jungkook ever again.Ā
āOnly because thisāll finally prove to you that not everything can be solved by finding love,ā you say. Itās about as good of a āyesā as heās going to get out of you.Ā
Jungkook grins, mischievous as always. Thereās certainly something else heās plotting, you just arenāt sure what. Maybe heās in cahoots with Pollack. āOr,ā he begins, lips curling upwards, āyouāll just fall in love with me.ā
You scoff. āYeah, right.ā
āWell, then I guess weāll just have to see, wonāt we?ā He holds out his hand, palm facing up as he waits for your response, that devilish glint that you hate twinkling in his eyes.Ā
As if youāre going to fall in love with Jungkook. For this stupid project? No way. Just because itās a filmmaking project doesnāt make it any more bearable than your other assignments. Itās a partner project. They are, by their very nature, excruciating. Youāll be surprised if you end this project and you arenāt even more irritated with Jungkook. Does he really think youāll actually develop some sort of affection for him?
You take his hand on your own, palm pressed against his, and you eye him carefully. Just because Jungkookās got something up his sleeve doesnāt mean you donāt. Finally, finally, Jungkook will see why love is stupid and manufactured and fake. Why it doesnāt bring people together but instead tears them apart.Ā
Maybe then heāll leave you and your discussion posts in peace.
You smile up at him.Ā
āI guess we will.ā
When Ruby Rhodes is not six feet deep in The Princeton Reviewās MCAT test prep book, she can usually be found at the small bakery five blocks west and two blocks north of your little campus, a family-owned place passed down through three generations. Itās her favorite place, and yours, too, because the coffee is delicious and the pastries are even better.Ā
Plus, hardly anyone from your school ever comes here, which means the wifi speed is eons better than the Starbucks inside the main food court.Ā
Sheās halfway through a tiramisu and a rerun of The Bachelor from two seasons ago when you sit down across from her.Ā
āAny good?ā You ask, pulling out your laptop and squeezing it onto the tiny marble table in between the two of you.Ā
āThe food or the show?ā Ruby asks over a mouthful of cake.Ā
āEither.āĀ
Ruby swallows down the piece sitting on her tongue before responding. āThe tiramisu is delicious, and The Bachelor is eh. Iāve seen this episode three times already.ā
āThen why are you watching it again?ā You ask, laughing. Does Ruby think something different is going to happen?
āBecause weāre in between weeks right now and honestly, The Bachelor is kind of dry this season,ā Ruby says with a frown.Ā
āYouāve got some tiramisu on your cheek,ā you tell her, pointing to the left side of her face where the bright mascarpone cream sticks out like a sore thumb against her dark skin.Ā
āItās just so yummy, I canāt help but stick my whole face in it,ā Ruby jokes as she wipes her face with the napkin on her lap. The Bachelor rerun plays on in the background, and you can hear the gasps of the women through Rubyās discarded headphones.Ā
You roll your eyes. āWhy do you even watch that show still? You know itās all crap.ā
āJust because you think itās crap doesnāt mean I do,ā Ruby insists, playing out an argument the two of you have had plenty of times over the course of your friendship. āWatching it makes me happy. So I do it.ā
āBut itās all fake,ā you say, frowning in disapproval. āThe couples donāt even stay together in the end anyway.ā
āItās a totally pre-constructed show, but itās not fake in the moment. And I donāt expect the final couple to stay together.ā She shrugs nonchalantly. āBelieve me, Iāve seen enough Bachelor seasons to know those odds. I just like watching the ride. Itās cute.ā
āYou say that about everything.ā
āThatās because everything is cute,ā Ruby says pointedly. āI like seeing the good in people.ā
Rubyās always been the exact opposite of you in terms of worldviews. The embodiment of a real-life fairy. She puts butterfly clips in her hair and buys herself bouquets of daisies and lilies. She sits in cafes with her headphones in and sketches the people she sees outside the window. Sheās studying to be a doctor so she can spend the rest of her life helping others.Ā
And you?Ā
Well, the Oscars have always been a bit of a long shot.Ā
The curiosity eating at you, you pose a question to her. āHypothetically, if there were to exist a mockumentary on rom-coms and love, would you watch it?ā
Ruby pauses for a second as she furrows her brows. Then she shrugs and says, āOnly if the two leads fell in love at the end. Why?ā
āNo reason,ā you say, looking away.Ā
Thereās no fooling Ruby and her eagle eyes.Ā
āWhat is it?ā She asks, a grin playing at her lips as she looks at you. āCome on, you donāt just ask me shit like that without a reason.ā
āItās for a final project,ā you explain succinctly. No need to go into details.Ā
āYouāre making a rom-com for a final project?ā Ruby sounds about as skeptical as you did when you spoke to Jungkook.Ā
āItās a mockumentary about rom-coms.ā
āButā¦ itās a rom-com, right? Like, youāre going to be making a rom-com? Where people fall in love?ā
Hopefully not.Ā
āSort of?ā
Ruby squints her eyes, trying to process all the information. Youāre not surprised that she has to take a moment to thinkāyou are certainly the last person on earth to ever admit to filming a rom-com. But, as youāve stated, itās not a rom-com. Itās a mockumentary about them. That distinction is vital.
āWait, is this for that class with Pollack?ā Ruby asks. āI remember you telling me you were taking it. You said this was a partner project, though, right? So who are you working with?ā
Curse Ruby and her knack for remembering things. Sheāll make a great doctor, thatās for sure, but right now you wish she would just forget things like everybody else.Ā
You sigh. āJungkook.ā
Ruby doesnāt need to think twice about who that is. āWait, seriously? Youāre working with him? Isnāt he the guy that responds to all your discussion posts?ā
āYes,ā you say, rubbing your temples with your fingertips. You donāt even like thinking about him, let alone saying his name. The fact that he has to occupy any part of your brain at all gives you a headache.
āDamn, that sucks,ā Ruby says, not feeling very sorry for you at all. āSo youāre filming a rom-com with him?ā
āItās a mockumentary,ā you specify, feeling yourself getting irritated. āIt is fake.ā
āJust like my shows, huh?ā Ruby muses to herself, too analytical for her own good.Ā
āListen, you donāt need to fall in love to make a mockumentary about it,ā you say, refusing to consider any sort of alternative.Ā
āDonāt you?ā
You sneer. āJust shut up and eat your tiramisu.ā
Ruby lets out a laugh at that, this wonderful mix between a wheeze and a honk that makes you smile every time you hear it, even if itās at your own expense. Ruby decides sheās had enough of mentally torturing you with the thought of feeling anything but extreme distaste towards Jungkook and goes back to her show, letting you brood in peace.Ā
You donāt need to fall in love to make a film about it. Just like you donāt need to be a masterchef to film Gordon Ramsey screaming at someone who undercooked chicken. Youāre a filmmaker. You can make a film out of anything. Including love. Even if it is with someone like Jungkook.Ā
Canāt you?
Jeon Jungkook may be a disillusioned college student in love with the idea of love itself, but at least heās not too shabby of a filmmaker.Ā
Funnily enough, it actually sort of surprises you that youāve never encountered each other before. Especially considering youāre in the same major program at your school, a program that only accepts about fifty students per year at most. You suppose that in whatever general program classes you had to take in freshman and sophomore year you just never crossed paths. Plus, heās a filmmaking concentration and youāre doing screenwriting, so itās very possible that you would have just never spoken had the two of you not registered for the same semester of FILM395.
Huh. Imagine that. A life without him.Ā
Sort of makes you wish you had put this class off for one more semester.Ā
As the two of you kickstart your project, you both immediately agree that you need a third personās help. You and Jungkook can do plenty, but you are only two people. And thereās nothing in the final project guidelines that says you canāt enlist other people to partake in the production. But you donāt need help with the filming and editing. You need help with the interviews.Ā
āIs this bedsheet good enough?ā Kim Taehyung, a senior in the film program, asks as heās Command-stripping a queen-sized black bedsheet to an empty wall in the living room of his tiny one-bedroom apartment.Ā
āAs long as it fits into the frame,ā Jungkook responds from where heās standing behind the camera, set up on a tripod to capture a specific angle. āYouāre not going to be in the shot anyway. Youāll just be asking the questions.ā
āGood, because I look really ugly right now,ā Taehyung says with a grin. You roll your eyes. Taehyung must know he always looks good. Even you canāt deny him of that.Ā
āThis is ridiculous,ā you say, seated on the singular couch in his apartment. Youāre leaning on your elbow as you watch Taehyung fiddle with the bedsheet and Jungkook futz with the camera, the two of them repositioning themselves over and over again until everythingās perfect. āWhat are you even gonna ask us?ā
āI came up with someā¦ preliminary questions,ā Taehyung says suggestively. āBut I havenāt told either of you what they are so that your reactions can be more genuine.ā
āGreat,ā you deadpan.Ā
āWow, someoneās excited,ā Jungkook comments snidely.Ā
āI know we agreed on periodic interviews for the sake of the mockumentary but I donāt know why we have to be soā¦ so serious about them,ā you say with a frown.Ā
āWe have to promise to be honest with what we say, alright? Like, actually honest. This sets a guideline for the rest of our relationship,ā Jungkook says like itās no big deal. Like the foundation of your relationship isnāt the fact that the two of you have been engaged in discussion-board war ever since the semester began.Ā
āOur ārelationshipā?ā You say with a scoff.Ā
āDo you promise?ā Jungkook says.Ā
You roll your eyes. āYes, I promise.ā Whatever. āWhat do you even think is going to happen between us in the next few weeks?ā
Jungkook smirks. āGuess weāll just have to wait and see, wonāt we?ā
You donāt like the sound of that.Ā
Over the next ten minutes, Taehyung gets the sheet attached to his wall and pulls over two stools from his kitchen counters, old-timey wooden ones he got from a thrift store for five dollars a pop, one for him and one for the poor soul who has to be interviewed. Youāve agreed to do them separately but Taehyungās apartment is only so big and you are only three people, which means that whoever isnāt being interviewed still has to be behind the camera, listening to the other person.Ā
Makes you sort of nervous about whateverās stewing up inside Jungkookās mind. Wonder what the hell it is heās plotting up there.Ā
Once everything is settled, Taehyung looks at the two of you as he asks whoās going first.Ā
You turn to Jungkook, whoās already grinning. āLadies first.ā
For someone who has spent their whole life watching and making movies, being in front of the camera feels weirdly uncomfortable to you. Youāre so used to being behind it instead, directing others as they move around the frame, telling them how to feel and how to act and what to say, that having the spotlight shone on you is like picking through your thoughts with a fine-toothed comb.Ā
You adjust awkwardly in the bar stool seat as Jungkook stands behind the camera, twisting the lens until he gives you the thumbs-up. Quite frankly, it doesnāt make you feel any better.Ā
āYou ready?ā Taehyung asks as he takes a seat opposite you, just out of frame.Ā
āWell, weāve gotta start somewhere, right?ā
āThatās the spirit. Alright, Jungkook, start whenever youāre good.ā
āOkay,ā Jungkook chirps up. āThree, two, oneāā He points to the both of you.Ā
āSo, Y/N,ā Taehyung begins, his voice suddenly much clearer. He sounds sort of like a news anchor. Itās oddly fitting. āAre you excited to begin the filming for this?ā
āI donāt really have a choice, do I?ā You muse.Ā
āThat didnāt answer my question,ā Taehyung points out. Good thing the camera canāt see the way his eyebrows raise.Ā
āI suppose that there are worse things I could be doing,ā you reason, which is about as good of an answer as Taehyungās going to get. What was he expecting you to say? That you were thrilled to be filming this not-a-rom-com with your class nemesis? That you couldnāt wait to see what would happen?
āLoving the enthusiasm,ā Taehyung jokes. You wonder what your classmates will think when they watch this back, hearing this unidentified deep male voice ask you and Jungkook questions about your relationship. āLet me ask you this: whatās your current relationship with Jungkook?ā
āUhā¦ā you begin, nervous. Behind the camera, Jungkook has that same stupid, shit-eating grin plastered all over his face. You sneer. āItāsā¦ itās professional.ā
āCan you explain what you mean by that?āĀ
āI mean weāre classmates. Thatās the relationship.ā
āThatās it?ā You can hear the skepticism in Taehyungās voice, almost like heās egging you on to say something more.Ā
āWeāve had some personal disagreements on topics discussed in class. But yes, weāre just classmates,ā you elaborate slightly. Itās not as if anyone needs reminding of that, anyway. They all see your discussion board posts.Ā
āAnd how do you expect that relationship to change over the course of this project?ā
āI donāt think itāll change at all.ā Itās the easiest answer so far. Requires no energy nor brain power for you to think about it.Ā
Taehyung nods his head in intrigue. āAnd whyās that?ā
āBecause this is a project for a class, not a life lesson.ā
āWho says it canāt be both?ā
You frown. āWhose side are you on?ā
Five feet away, Jungkook laughs.Ā
Taehyung chuckles. āAlright, moving on. What do you expect from Jungkook over the next few weeks as you start working on building your relationship?ā
āI hope he becomes less unbearable,ā you say, though you suppose thatās more of a general life goal than one thatās project-specific. But it would be nice if he became a little moreā¦ palatable. Just so you donāt have to feel the urge to sock him in the face every time you speak to each other.Ā
āāLess unbearableā, excellent,ā Taehyung repeats. āAnything else?ā
āWell,ā you say with a shrug, not sure what else to say. What do you want from Jungkook? Obviously the two of you are about to embark on your own rom-com adventure, no doubt most of it his doing, but itās hard to imagine that he himself (or you, for that matter) will change. If anything, the rom-com setting will just exacerbate the worst parts of both your personalities. Like some sort of curse. āI guess I just hope that the project goes smoothly.ā
āI hope that it does, too,ā Taehyung says with a smile. āOkay, last question.ā Thank God. This interview couldnāt have been more than five minutes, but it feels like an eternity to you. āDo you think you and Jungkook will fall in love at the end of this?ā
āNo.ā You donāt leave any room for hesitation. āI donāt.ā
āWhy not?ā
āWeāre very different people with very different interests,ā you explain succinctly. Youāre sure Taehyung will grasp that once Jungkook has his turn and answers all the same questions. āHe can try his hardest, but some things are just meant to stay the way they are.ā
āOkay, thank you, Y/N, thatās all. I hope you found our conversation illuminating,ā Taehyung says, his cue for the camera to stop rolling. You and Taehyung both turn to Jungkook, waiting for his signal, letting out a sigh when Jungkook gives you a thumbs-up.Ā
āThank fuck,ā you say, hopping off of the barstool happily. You head towards the camera, ready to kick Jungkook off of it, because itās your turn to stand behind it with an annoying look on your face as you react to every stupid thing Jungkook says. You find that youāre actually sort of looking forward to it. Being behind the camera is where you feel most at home. Making faces at Jungkook is just a bonus.Ā
Jungkookās still grinning that same goddamn grin when you approach him, making you narrow your eyes.Ā
āāHe can try his hardestā?ā Jungkook teases, voice all high-pitched to mimic yours. āSounds like a challenge.ā
āAh yes, my mission in life,ā you retort easily. Maybe goading him on isnāt the best course of action, but youāre so confident that you wonāt change your mind you find yourself actually anticipating his efforts. āThink you have what it takes?ā
āBelieve me, I do,ā Jungkook says with a devilish glint in his eyes.Ā
You roll your eyes and kick him off the camera with a shove, pushing him towards Taehyung as he waits diligently on that chair of his.Ā
āSo, Jungkook, same questions,ā Taehyung says as Jungkook gets ready in his seat, fixing the blonde strands of hair that curl around the side of his face, framing his cheeks.Ā
āWhat? Thatās no fair, he got to think about all his answers,ā you exclaim, positively indignant.Ā
āDonāt worry, Y/N,ā Jungkook says, voice sickly smooth, honey falling off his lips. āIāve actually been thinking about the two of us for a long time.ā
You pretend to throw up on Taehyungās hardwood floor.Ā
As Taehyung promised, he asks Jungkook the same questions. And, as predicted, his answers about as far away from yours as the sun is from Pluto:
āAre you excited to begin the filming for this?ā
Jungkook grins. āYes, definitely. I actually took this class after hearing from a friend that the final project was a lot of fun.ā
Taehyung beams. That friend was him. No wonder he was so happy to sign onto helping the two of you.Ā
āAnd how would you describe your current relationship with Y/N?ā
āWeāre soon-to-be-lovers.āĀ
āHow forward of you.ā
āIsnāt that my job?ā
You have to stop yourself from bursting out into laughter behind the camera and ruining the interview. At least heās not hiding anything. Youāll give him that.Ā
āSo I suppose you expect the two of you to fall in love over the course of the project?ā
āYes, thatās going to happen.ā
āAnd you seem pretty confident when you say that.ā
Jungkook smirks as he turns to the camera. Or, more accurately, you. āConfidence is attractive.āĀ
You shake your head back at him.Ā
The rest of the interview falls pretty much into the same vein as the first few questions. Jungkook is so brazenly determined and hopeful and optimistic it actually pains you in a way, watching him make all of these promises both to you and himself that this project is going to turn out the way he hopes it does. His answers remind you of his discussion board posts, always looking on the bright side of every movie you watch, always finding the silver lining, the light at the end of the tunnel. A movie could be total Hollywood crap, filled with cheating scandals and misunderstandings and betrayals, and Jungkook could still find beauty in it.Ā
Itās strange.Ā
For the sake of you not actually throwing up in Taehyungās lovely apartment, you tune out the majority of the middle of the conversation, having zero desire to listen to Jungkook wax poetic about your non-existent relationship like heās saying his wedding vows. Only when Taehyung finally remarks that theyāre on the last question do you finally come to again, ready to turn the camera off as soon as Jungkook finishes his answer.Ā
āJungkook, do you think you and Y/N will fall in love at the end of this?ā
āI do.ā Wow, what a shocker. āI do, because I hope that by the end of this Y/N will have opened her eyes to the beauty of love, and will find joy in the feeling as something that makes her feel happy and warm. Iām going to do everything I can to make sure the things we do together are meaningful. And even if we donāt last, I hope that her memories of us together will be ones she can look back upon fondly and be grateful for.ā
You purse your lips together. If only it were that easy.Ā
āAlright, cut,ā you say, voice distant as Jungkook thanks Taehyung for his time and hops off the bar stool. āThanks, Tae.ā
āAnytime, you guys,ā Taehyung says with a grin.Ā
Jungkook comes over to where youāre standing, possibly to grab his camera and tripod but most definitely to rub his obnoxious personality all up in your face.Ā
āYou really think youāre gonna get me to fall in love with you, huh?ā You muse, an eyebrow raised as you look up at him. āJust so you can prove a point?ā
āBelieve it or not, Y/N, but I actually think that all people deserve the chance to experience love and that happens to include you, as well,ā Jungkook responds easily.Ā
The words put a sour taste in your mouth. āYou think I deserve it, huh?ā
Jungkook nods, face solemn as he looks at you, gazing into your eyes with those big brown ones of his own. It makes you feel something unfamiliar. Like heās reading right through your chest, into your heart. You donāt like it. āEveryone deserves love.ā
āYou guys are coming back, right? So I can leave the sheet up?ā Taehyung interrupts after heās moved both of his bar stools back to his kitchen counter.Ā
āYeah, weāll be back,ā Jungkook answers quickly. āThanks for setting everything up, by the way.ā
āOf course. Plus, this is a good background for my nudes,ā Taehyung says casually, like heās mentioning what heās having for dinner. āLooking forward to seeing you guys again.ā
āUs, too,ā Jungkook says. āReady to go?ā
āOnly because it means I donāt have to see you anymore,ā you retort pointedly, grabbing your backpack from where it sits on his couch as you head towards the door.Ā
āJust you wait, Y/N,ā Jungkook says as you leave Taehyungās building, one of those old-timey Victorian houses that was converted into a whole bunch of apartments. āYouāre gonna see that Iām right.ā
āReally? About what?ā
āAbout us,ā Jungkook says. You come to the stoplight, where Jungkook keeps going straight and you turn right.Ā
āUs?ā
Jungkook grins as you turn in the direction of your own apartment. And, just as the light turns green, he says, āJust you wait. Weāre gonna fall in love, you and me.ā
If he says so.Ā
āHey! Y/N!ā
You whip your head around at the sound of your name just as youāre opening the door to your local Starbucks, wondering who the hell is calling out to you at nine-thirty in the morning on a Wednesday.Ā
As it turns out, you donāt have to wonder too much, because the moment your eyes adjust to the blinding sunlight coming from the east side of campus you see Jungkook hurtling towards you, heavy black boots stomping down on the pavement as he rushes to catch up with you.Ā
āCan I help you?ā You ask, thoroughly unimpressed, as you pull open the door, looking at Jungkook heaving beside you as he holds the door open for himself.Ā
āJust glad I caught you,ā Jungkook gasps out between breaths. āFigured this might make a good scene for the movie.ā
āItās a mockumentary,ā you remind him easily, getting in the line.Ā
āWhatever,ā Jungkook says. āWhat do you normally get here? I donāt really go to Starbucks often.ā
āWhatever will give me the most caffeine for the least amount of money,ā you retort.Ā
āHow efficient,ā Jungkook comments.Ā
āYou know thatās how I like to be,ā you tell him with a pointed look.Ā
Jungkook mumbles his acknowledgement as he fumbles around in his backpack, fishing through the large pocket until he whips out his Canon, holding it out in front of him like heās a dad about to film an embarrassing shot of his child. You look down at the camera just as he pans up to you, a confused frown written across your features. Jungkook laughs.Ā
āDo you really need to do that here?ā
āIām not even filming,ā Jungkook says with a smile, like he just pulled his camera out so he could look at your unimpressed face through a different lens. āLook, youāre up.ā
You turn around to find that the woman ahead of you in line has just moved towards the pick-up side of the counter, so you shimmy over towards the barista, ready to get this over with so you can dart out of the Starbucks as soon as possible.Ā
āJust a grande Americano, please,ā you request simply, fingers grasping for the wallet inside your coat pocket.Ā
āMe too,ā Jungkook chirps up from behind you. The closeness of his voice makes you jump, and suddenly you become keenly cognizant of how heās practically pressed up next to you as he leans over towards the counter. You catch a glimpse of the debit card in his hand. āHere.ā
āYou donāt have to pay for me, itās fine,ā you quickly say, holding out your own card to the barista.Ā
āNo, itās okay, I want to. Here.ā Jungkook pushes your hand away as he tries to stuff his card into the reader.Ā
āNo, I wonāt let you. Iām a big girl, I can pay for my own coffee,ā you rebuke, feeling yourself growing oddly defensive.Ā
Jungkook sighs from behind you. āOh, come on, you canāt let me do one nice thing for you?ā
āWill one of you please pay, youāre holding up the line,ā the barista asks in a desperate tone, clearly too overworked and too underpaid to be dealing with two bratty college students like yourselves.Ā
Jungkook manages to shove his card into the reader before you get the chance to do it yourself, pushing you to the side as he verifies all of his information and takes his receipt. Next to him, you seethe to yourself, feeling a personal loss even though you just got your coffee paid for. Itās not about the money. Itās about your pride. Never in your life have you wanted to so badly pay for an overpriced Starbucks coffee.Ā
You and Jungkook mosey over to the other side of the counter, waiting for your identical drinks to be made as you try and calculate how much longer you have to stand in the same room and breathe the same air as Jungkook. Seeing him in class, on your discussion board posts, and for your arranged final project meetings apparently isnāt enough, so now he has to invade your personal life, too.Ā
āWhat are you doing?ā You huff out angrily, turning to Jungkook even as he holds his camera out in front of him, filming the Starbucks.Ā
āRecording our first meeting, obviously,ā Jungkook says like itās some kind of no-brainer. Like you were in on that from the moment he called your name out on the street.Ā
āWhat do you mean, āour first meetingā?ā You scrunch up your nose in confusion. āWeāve known each other since the semester started.ā
āI know, butā¦ā Jungkook trails off unhelpfully, but you pick up what heās putting down regardless. Right. This is supposed to be a mockumentary rom-com. And rom-coms always start with an introduction.Ā
The barista behind the counter calls out Jungkookās name as he places two same-sized cups down at the pick-up station. The cup is burning hot, even with the little cardboard holder wrapped around it like a leg warmer, so you immediately move over to the station up against the wall with all of the sugar packets and napkins and little green splash sticks. Jungkook joins you without question, whether it be due to the fact that he doesnāt come here very often or because he just wants to keep invading your space, you couldnāt say. Grabbing one of the wooden sticks, you tug the plastic lid off of the cup and give the coffee a swirl. Watching you, Jungkook takes the lid off of his as well.Ā
āAre you just going to copy everything I do?ā You deadpan.Ā
āNot everythingā¦ā Jungkook trails off suspiciously, looking down into his coffee like the two of them are conspiring something.Ā
āWhat are you talkiāā
Without warning, Jungkook slams half of his body into you, and without a lid or one of those little green sticks, the coffee sploshes over the side of his cup and drenches the front of your exposed hoodie, hot liquid burning through the fabric of the hoodie and the t-shirt you have on underneath. You watch in horror as Jungkook plays it off like an accident, feet fumbling around on the hardwood floor like he had just tripped. But he didnāt just trip. He dumped half of his Americano onto the both of your fronts.Ā
āJungkook!ā You say instantly, resisting the urge to scream because youāre in a public place but feeling your skin go as hot as the coffee against your torso as you look up at him, fuming.Ā
āOh my God, Iām so sorry, Iām such a klutz,ā Jungkook says, somehow able to regain his balance, hold his coffee cup, and film the whole adventure all at the same time. āThat was totally my fault, let me help you with that.āĀ
The camera is from his perspective, which you suppose is about as real as it gets for something grounded in reality like a mockumentary, but in this position heās able to make conversation with his eyes, big brown ones wide as he tries to signify what exactly he means when he purposely spills coffee all over the two of you.Ā
You get it. Youāve seen enough rom-coms to know why he just did what he did, but you still find your mouth agape as you stare up at him, smoldering and angry and a little shocked he would dare be so bold, especially in the middle of a Starbucks coffee shop.Ā
āFor Godās sake,ā you say with an exhausted sigh despite it not even being ten in the morning yet. Unable to form any other comprehensible words, you settle for just pulling out napkins from the dispenser and dabbing the front of your hoodie as Jungkook looks at you apologetically. You canāt even tell if heās truly sorry or just putting on another one of his shows.Ā
āI feel so bad,ā Jungkook says, and you calm yourself down enough to nod. At least he isnāt blatantly laughing. āCan I pay for dry cleaning?ā
āYouāre really gonna offer to pay for my dry cleaning?ā You ask, an eyebrow raised.Ā
āIt was my fault,ā Jungkook admits. Now that you can agree on.Ā
You shake your head. āItās okay. Itās just an old hoodie, itās no big deal.ā
āIām still sorry,ā Jungkook insists, and the more he says it the more you actually find yourself starting to believe him. Even if he did just spill coffee all over you. āHere, let me give you my jacketāā
āThatās not necessary,ā you say as he shrugs off his backpack and begins to remove the bulky denim jacket heās wearing, fabric worn and soft from years of use. āSeriously, itās okay, itās just a hoodie.ā
āYeah, but now you have coffee all over your clothes and you probably have class soon, right?ā He says, an apologetic smile lacing his lips. He tugs off his jacket and holds it out towards you.Ā
āJungkook, Iām fine, alright? I appreciate your concern, though,ā you assure him. You throw away the last of the coffee-stained napkins in your hands and reach down for your backpack, which you had taken off your shoulders somewhere in the chaos.Ā
Jungkook rolls his eyes, almost as if he was expecting resistance, and leans over you anyway. His arms extend outwards as he wraps his enormous denim jacket over your shoulders, the fabric draping loosely over your body. The damn thing was big on him, so on you it practically eats you up. You stand there, silent, as Jungkook adjusts the jacket on your torso, pulling underneath the hood of your sweatshirt as he makes sure itās snug across your figure.Ā
āThere,ā Jungkook says.Ā
āThanks,ā you say, a half grin playing on your lips. The gesture makes you wonder if Jungkook really was planning on giving up his jacket this early in the morning for the sake of your movie. āThatās nice of you.ā
āI hope it makes up for the fact that you smell like coffee now,ā Jungkook says, a hand coming up to rub at the nape of his neck.Ā
āI appreciate it,ā you say.Ā
āI have class, too, so I have to go,ā Jungkook says, hoisting his backpack on his shoulders as he tucks his camera away. āIām sorry again! See you around?ā
Like you even have a choice.Ā
āYeah, see you around,ā you say as Jungkook darts off just as quickly as he arrived, rushing out the door before you have the chance to change your mind and give him his jacket back.Ā
When he leaves you, you find yourself at a loss for words. You stand there, lips pursed, coffee cold, as the weight of his jacket rests heavy on your shoulders.Ā
It smells like him.Ā
You should have known he would do something like this. Spill coffee all over the two of you, offer you his jacket, dash off like Cinderella at midnight. Like the opening of the worldās worst rom-com. The start of what is no doubt going to be the most unbearable final project you have ever done.
Plus, the other thing itās ensured is a second meeting. How else is he going to get his jacket back?
And you know what the worst part is?
This is only the beginning.
This time after FILM395 ends lecture for the day, itās your turn to catch Jungkook lounging around after class.Ā
Heās lingering around the outside of the building, scrolling through his phone, a heavy leather jacket resting over a flannel that goes down to his knees and a baseball cap sitting firmly on his tuft of blonde hair. Heās obviously not paying attention to any of his surroundings whatsoever, because he doesnāt even notice you exiting out of the door heās standing by until you say his name.Ā
āJungkook,ā you say, arriving in front of him.Ā
āWhaāoh, hi,ā Jungkook says, jumping at the suddenness of it all.Ā
āHere,ā you say, holding out his oversized denim jacket in between the two of you. āThanks for letting me borrow it.ā
āOh, I didnāt know you were going to give it back so soon,ā Jungkook says, looking a little surprised andā¦ is he touched?Ā
āI was going to give it to you a couple days ago but I thought I should give it a wash first,ā you admit to him.Ā
Instinctively, Jungkook brings the jacket up to his nose to sniff it. āSmells like lavender.ā
āYeah, itās my detergent. Hope you donāt mind. Itās a little wrinkledāI let it air dry since I was worried it might shrink in the dryer.ā
āThanks,ā Jungkook says, a genuine smile lacing itself across his features. Itās not one you see too often, and definitely not the kind of smile he usually flashes in your direction. Those are all so obnoxious, so full of himself. This oneās different. Itās appreciative. Kinder. Softer. In a lot of ways. āI was thinking, if you donāt have class now, do you wanna grab some coffee?ā
You narrow your eyes. āOnly if you promise not to spill it on me this time.ā
Jungkook laughs, throwing his head back. āOkay, I got it. I wonāt spill it on you.ā
āPromise?ā You prompt.Ā
āPromise.ā
The walk to Starbucks this time is in relative silence, but neither of you seems to mind it very much. You arenāt dashing to catch up with each other and heaving snarky comments as you catch your breath. Jungkook even notices you shiver in the cool March breeze and wraps his jacket around you again anyway, although this time you make a mental note to make sure he doesnāt leave without it. Even though a lavender scent wafts off of the denim, it still smells a little bit like him. That boyish sort of aroma. You donāt think any detergent would ever be able to get rid of that.Ā
You and Jungkook both get americanos again because youāre predictable and creatures of habit, and Jungkook actually seems to quite like them. He pays and you donāt spend two minutes standing in front of the barista fighting over it. Jungkook seems so determined to pay the extra four dollars for your drink that you arenāt sure if itās really worth arguing over it for the sake of pride anymore. What you and Jungkook put into making this project a success is what youāre going to get out of it.Ā
He picks one of the longer tables in the back of the study space, empty because itās just after the lunchtime rush and most people have classes now, sets up the camera at one end, and you sit down at the other.Ā
āSo,ā you begin, not sure where to start because your coffee is too hot to take a sip from it.Ā
āSo,ā Jungkook echoes.Ā
Silence.Ā
You purse your lips in that awkward, I-donāt-know-what-to-say kind of way. āWhat do you want to do?ā
Jungkook grins. āThis is the part where we get to know each other.āĀ
āWe already know each other.ā You frown.
āDo we?ā Jungkook poses, an eyebrow raised. āI mean, yeah, I guess we arenāt strangers, but I donāt know anything about you. Other than youāre a film major in a rom-com class who hates rom-coms.ā
āI donāt hate rom-coms,ā you object. āI just think itās important to look at them from a critical lens.ā
āOkay, whatever,ā Jungkook says, shrugging you off. āThe point is that we donāt know anything else about each other. Like, whatās your favorite color, for example?ā
āPurple.ā Itās an easy answer. You wore purple princess dresses when you were five, painted your bedroom lilac when you were ten, and still make sure to keep a purple highlighter in your pencil case now. āWhatās yours?ā
āRed,ā Jungkook responds.Ā
āCool,ā you say, effectively ending the rest of the conversation.
Jungkook, sensing that same awkward silence, suggests something. āHow about you ask me something now? We can go back and forth.ā
You shrug. Itās not like you have anything better to do. āAlright.ā You think for a moment, but then you have the perfect question. āWhy film?ā
Jungkook was clearly not expecting something so loaded, because his brows furrow, knitting themselves together as he begins to figure out a good enough answer. āHmm,ā he says, lost deep in thought. āI suppose the standard answer would be that Iāve always been interested in it, but I think I chose film because I want to be able to have the gift to tell other peopleās stories. Being a filmmaker doesnāt just mean you stand behind a camera. It means you immerse yourself in the lives of other people to create something new. Andā¦ I donāt know. I guess I really like doing that.āĀ
You nod.Ā
For once, you understand him. Understand why he chose to major in film, why he chose to be in this tiny little program. Because there is so much out there, so much that you will never know, people you will never meet and things you will never see. And itās a filmmakerās job to make them turn into things you will see, people you will meet. Who knows the world better than the people who study it? The people who have devoted their lives to learning all its secrets?
āWhat about you?ā
āSame as you,ā you tell him. āFilm is an art but itās more than that to me. Itās a new way to look at the world. Itās several new ways to look at the world, depending on what kind of film you want to create and what kind of story you want to tell. I think itās important to show people that all of the things they see in the media every day are not always reality. And that real people deserve to have their stories told, too. I donāt know. Thatās what I think.ā
Jungkook grins, a twinkle in his eyes. āReal people like us?ā
āThis project is different,ā you insist.Ā
āI donāt think it is,ā Jungkook says. āYou said it yourself, weāre making this because itās important to show people that the Hollywood entertainment they consume is not reality. This is. This is reality.ā
You frown, kicking yourself in the shin because what was supposed to be a harmless conversation has now turned into an opportunity for Jungkook to try and convince you that you will, in fact, fall in love with him. Youāve dug your own grave and Jungkook was the one who handed you the shovel.Ā
āYouāre not giving up, are you?ā You say, shaking your head, flabbergasted. āReality is the fact that this project is not going to make me fall in love with you. Nothing is.ā
āDonāt be so sure about that,ā Jungkook warns. āIāve got a few tricks up my sleeve.ā
āYou mean like spilling burning hot coffee all over me?ā You ask, an eyebrow raised, a grudge still held.Ā
āWe had to start somewhere,ā Jungkook defends. āAnd you seemed to understand what I was doing pretty quickly.ā
āItās not the worst thing someoneās done to me,ā you concede, only slightly. āBesides, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but throwing hot coffee all over me is not really a good way to start off your plan to get me to fall in love with you.ā
Jungkook smiles. āAll in due time, Y/N. All in due time.ā
āI canāt believe Pollack actually paired us up together,ā you say with a sigh. āYou know she did it on purpose.ā
āOf course she did.ā Itās not really a surprise to either of you.Ā
āI met with her right after she announced our partners,ā you tell him, āshe said it was because she wanted to see what kind of project we would come up with. How we would address ourā¦ differing views on love.ā Thatās one way of putting it. A rather nice way, if you do say so yourself.
āSpeaking of which,ā Jungkook says, something suddenly flashing through his mind, āwhat do you really think about love? You know, other than itās unrealistic and ruins peopleās lives.ā
āYou make me sound like Ebeneezer Scrooge.ā You frown at him.Ā
āIām serious,ā insists Jungkook. āWhy are you so pessimistic about it? Have you ever been in love? Have you had bad experiences? You couldnāt have just developed this worldview over time.ā
You scowl, feeling yourself getting defensive. āWell, maybe I did. Maybe thatās just what I think. Why do you care?ā
āBecause people donāt just hate love for no reason,ā Jungkook exclaims. āCome on, there must be something.ā
Your body stiffens. Who is he to be asking you this sort of shit? Why does he care so much? Itās not like it will have any effect on the outcome of your project. Not like you explaining yourself will change the way either of you look at the world.Ā
āWhatās it to you?ā You challenge. āWhy do you love love so much? Have you ever fallen in love? Do you think itās suddenly going to solve all of your problems?ā
āI love it because I think it brings people real joy,ā Jungkook answers simply. āIt makes people happy and itās beautiful. I love love and Iām not ashamed to say that out loud. I believe in it. I believe in love, and in destiny, and in soulmates. I want that. I think everyone deserves it.ā
Ā You scoff to yourself. āYou believe in soulmates?ā
āI think we all have our people out there.ā Jungkook nods. āDonāt you?ā
You roll your eyes, arms crossed over your chest. This conversation has gone nowhere, and Jungkook looks as equally dissatisfied as you do.Ā
āI think love can make us do stupid things,ā you tell him succinctly, if a little jaded. No need to say anything else. Your explanation is right there. āWeāre just different, I guess. You and I.ā
Jungkook blinks at you, eyes wide and a little desperate. Your conversation has remained stagnant and thereās almost nothing left to say.Ā
Almost.Ā
āDonāt you ever want to fall in love?ā He asks, like itās a last-ditch effort to get you to believe.Ā
You freeze. Let the words sink in for a moment. Before you push them out the door and toss them into the garbage. Just thinking about it gives you a headache. Puts a sour taste in your mouth.Ā
Quickly, you push yourself out of your chair and stand up, grabbing your coffee with one hand and your backpack with the other. āI have to go, sorry. I just remembered Iām meeting up with a friend to help her with a photography shoot,ā you fumble out quickly, the legs of the chair screeching as you scoot them across the hardwood floor. āOh, hereās your jacket, too. Thanks for giving it to me again. Iāll see you in class.ā
You whip around and head towards the exit, and only when youāre outside of the Starbucks and passing by the window do you dare look back. Do you dare let your gaze drift back to Jungkook, who is sitting there like he still doesnāt understand you. Still canāt.Ā
You and Jungkook are final project partners and maybe, if youāre pushing it, acquaintances-slash-friends. But there are just some things better kept to yourself.Ā
Weāre reaching the halfway point in this semester and, as you all know, I donāt do midterms. That said, I still want you to reflect on what youāve learned, discovered, and thought about thus far in this class. What portrayal of love did you find the most realistic? The least? How have they changed the way you think about love, both from a personal and a film perspective?
Y/N Y/N on March 3rd at 6:08PM
Purely from a film perspective, I really did enjoy watching Juno. It was funny and raunchy and just the right amount of vulnerable. It certainly felt the most real. So far, no film in this class has topped it for me. 500 Days of Summer, on the other hand, was in my opinion extremely unsatisfying and left no positive impression. The ending was a bore and Tom had absolutely no spine. It was a shame, because the direction and production was actually quite good.Ā
I guess Iām starting to realize how real love is not pretty. It can make people just as sad as it can make them happy. Why donāt we show the sad sides of love, too? The sides where your room is covered with a pile of clothes because you canāt bring yourself to do the laundry? Where you cannot cook a meal because it reminds you of a breakup? Rom-coms are, obviously, not the most realistic. But why are there not more films that do cover whatās real? How can we love love if all we know is a lie?
Jeon Jungkook on March 3rd at 11:13PM
Of course, I thought The Big Sick did an excellent job of their portrayal of love, adult life, and the problems that plague us all in the twenty-first century. It was also just as emotional and touched on concepts of race, illness, and being in your twenties and having no idea what direction your life is going in. The Princess Bride, on the other hand, as much as I love it, I do think created a more circumstantial kind of love. Westley and Buttercup mostly fall in love because of their situations. But it remains a classic nonetheless.Ā
Iām satisfied with the way the film industry has produced rom-coms and handles love. The beauty of it is that love is different for every person who goes through it. It can bring the greatest joy and the most painful sorrow. We do not just figure out what love is by what we see on film. We see it in our real lives, in our parents, in our friends, in couples in coffee shops and cars and on sidewalks. We can love love because we want that joy for ourselves. Because we know that true love will be worth any heartbreak we endure. Is it not impossible for the portrayals of love in these rom-coms to not be real? The way everyone experiences it is different. The only way you can know what real love is, and what it is not, is if you fall in love yourself.Ā
Early on in your project development, you and Jungkook exchanged class schedules to optimize your productivity and skip over that stupid, terrible part of partner projects where youāre just going back and forth trying to pick a time that works for the both of you until you eventually settle on something ridiculous like eleven oāclock at night outside of the McDonaldās two blocks off of campus.Ā
Itās been working very well. Neither of you have adventurous-enough friends to invite you out on spontaneous picnics and restaurant dates that fuck with your pre-scheduled meeting times, and Jungkook already seems to have mastered the art of screaming your name when he catches you on the sidewalk so that you can film something.Ā
In fact, youāre actually beginning to wonder why you havenāt done this with all of your long-term partner projects. Send each other your schedules so that you can settle on a time in advance. No muss, no fuss.Ā
You and Jungkook are supposed to meet up again tonight, after the two of you are finished with all of your classes, to discuss what scenes you should be filming next. Edited down, youāve already got about ten minutes worth of footage, but itās mid-March and the project is due at the end of April. So you need to get this show on the road.Ā
The door slams shut behind you as you exit the business building, your film industry class having just ended a minute ago. Youāve got an hour to kill before your next class, just enough time to dash to the food court in the center of campus and grab something from the Japanese place in the back corner. You might even have time to browse the shelves in the bookstore if youāre fast enough.Ā
You round the corner to the main pathway through campus when a voice stops you in your tracks.Ā
āYouāre just too good to be trueā¦ā
āCanāt take my eyes off of youā¦ā
Itās not Jungkook. Instead, in the middle of the walkway are the Eighth Notes, one of the fifteen-thousand (you donāt know for sure, but if you had to estimate) acapella groups on campus. Theyāve got mic stands and a table set up and everything. Maybe theyāre promoting an upcoming showā¦?Ā
You almost breeze right by when one of them, the one in the middle of the group, points right at you, a lopsided grin lacing his features. You arenāt one to normally stop in the middle of a crowded footpath, but when, one after another, all six of the boys start pointing at you, you have no choice.Ā
āYouād be like Heaven to touchā¦ā
āI wanna hold you so muchā¦āĀ
āAt long last, love has arrivedā¦ā
āAnd I thank God Iām aliveā¦ā
āYouāre just too good to be trueā¦ā
āCanāt take my eyes off of youā¦ā
Their voices are smooth like honey, warm and deep, romancing you through their mics as each one of them suddenly manifests a rose from behind them. Around you, people are starting to stare, gawking at you as they walk by. Thereās even a small crowd starting to gather, and you swear you can see some people filming on their phones. The fact that this is happening in the busiest ten minutes of the day, as half the student body is walking from one class to another, isnāt helping. At all.Ā
The rest of them singing in the background, each one steps out from behind the set of microphones to hand you the rose, smiling their classic, old-timey smiles like those old jazz singers from the 1960s, until youāve got half a dozen in your hands as they continue to sing.Ā
āBut if you feel like I feelā¦ā
āPlease let me know that itās realā¦ā
āYouāre just too good to be trueā¦ā
āCanāt take my eyes off of youā¦ā
And then, suddenly, all of them are shutting their traps and turning to the left, looking down the pathway as the song begins again, but from one-hundred feet away.Ā
āI love you, baby, and if itās quite alright, I need you, baby, to warm the lonely nightā¦ā
Your mouth drops. At the other end of the walkway is Jungkook, one of those wireless microphones in his hand, grinning as he saunters down the path like a prince at a ball, voice sweet and thick as the words dance off of his lips.Ā
āI love you, baby, trust in me when I sayā¦ā
Your eyes lock from opposite ends of the path, Jungkook stepping closer with every beat the Eighth Notes gives him. It sort of feels like your impending doom and a wedding proposal, all at once. By now a rather substantial audience has gathered, lining the walkway with their phones out, filming Jungkook as he waltzes past them, occasionally turning to capture your gobsmacked expression.Ā
Every step that Jungkook takes makes your heart race something fierce, cheeks warming in embarrassment, trapped in your least favorite thing in the entire world: a public serenade. You canāt really do anything except look at him in shock, feeling his steady gaze resting firmly on your figure, looking right at you. Into you.Ā
āOh, pretty baby, donāt bring me down, I prayā¦ā
Oh, pretty baby, now that Iāve found you, stayā¦ā
Jungkook, on the other hand, is clearly relishing in this. In the spotlight. In the music. Or maybe just in the fact that youāre on the receiving end of his over-the-top advances. His grin is wide as he takes those last few steps, microphone gripped neatly in his hand, the lyrics warm and weighty as they tumble from his lips.Ā
āAnd let me love you, babyā¦ā
One final step and heās right in front of you, staring into your eyes, letting himself bask in the look on your face. He produces a rose himselfācherry red, like his favorite colorāand holds it out in between the two of you. In the background, the Eighth Notes go quiet, leaving Jungkook on his own for the final line.Ā
āLet me love youā¦ā
The words drift above your heads, disappearing into the sky as he lingers on them, on that last note, beaming down at you. He looks at you, so hopeful, so happy, so endeared, and what else can you do? What else, besides taking the rose from his hand and smiling back up at him? Who are you to deny him of that?
The crowd around you cheers when you do, applauding both Jungkook and the Eighth Notes, with whom he is apparently in cahoots, before they all decide that they ought to get on with their day and head to class. No doubt youāll be on several dozen Instagram stories by nightfall.Ā
Only after everyone has dispersed do you notice Taehyung, who must have been here since the beginning, because heās just turning off the camera dangling from his neck. Of course Jungkook got him to film. Other than your project, what else would this be for?
āIs that the best you can do, Jungkook?ā You smirk up at him, only saying this because you canāt have him knowing that you actually kind of enjoyed it.Ā
āYouāre still here, arenāt you?ā Jungkook responds easily. āThought I would do something spontaneous.ā
āAnd now youāve taken up ten minutes of my lunch,ā you say, shaking your head to yourself. āHow spontaneous, indeed.ā
āHow was that, Jungkook?ā
Behind the two of you, the Eighth Notes are packing up, clearly more than happy to have aided Jungkook on his quest for so-called love and getting to promote their group in the process.Ā
āGreat, thank you so much, Jimin,ā Jungkook says to the one in the middle, the very first one to sing when you walked out of the door.Ā
āAnytime, dude. Glad we could help,ā Jimin responds. He waves hi to Taehyung, too, as they store their microphones and go on their way.Ā
Jungkook bids them goodbye as they head down the path, smiling at all of them before he turns back to you, notices the distant, faraway look in your eyes as you twirl the rose between your fingers, press it to your nose to pick up its scent.Ā
āYou gotta admit, Iām a pretty good singer, eh?ā Jungkook says with a nudge to your shoulder.Ā
āYouāre alright.ā
Jungkook laughs to himself. āI think thatās the nicest thing youāve ever said to me.ā
āDonāt get a big head,ā you warn.Ā
āThink Iāll have to sing for you more, now, hmm? Since you liked it so much?ā He suggests, eyebrows wiggling.Ā
You roll your eyes. āOnly if you can get Jimin and the Eighth Notes to back you up, again. Then maybe Iāll allow it.ā
Jungkook grins. Heās far past the point of being deterred by your deadpan comments. If anything, they only encourage him more. But you, for obvious reasons, cannot give in. At least, not yet, anyway.Ā
āOkay, go eat your lunch,ā he says, nodding as you begin to part ways. āIāll text you later, okay?ā
You smile. āOkay. See you.ā
āSee you, too.ā
The moment you get back to your apartment you put all seven roses in an old vase filled with water. They brighten up your bedroom instantly, soft scent freshening up the air. And when you go to bed that night, it is to Jungkookās sweet, delicate voice, like walking on clouds, like satin and silk, that you fall asleep.
āGood morning, Y/N,ā Jungkook greets like always, smiling at you as you walk in the door for FILM395.Ā
āGood morning, Jungkook,ā you say in response.Ā
Then, you take a seat right next to him.Ā
Itās an act that clearly catches everyone off guard, if the bewildered looks of your fellow classmates and Jungkookās confused expression are anything to go by. Even Pollack, when she walks through the door, gets a bit of a shock, eyes widening when she sees the two of you seated next to each other.Ā
You suppose all the fuss is understandable. After all, you both sort of hate each other.Ā
Other than the sudden change in seating arrangement, however, the rest of the class goes off without much issue. Pollack lectures for an hour before you move into discussion, at which point it becomes a class participation free-for-all, with you and Jungkook almost definitely in the lead. Just because youāre now sitting next to each other doesnāt mean either of you are suddenly going to stop raising your hands to rebuke each otherās points. Some things never change.Ā
Sitting next to Jungkook is not as bad as you thought it would be. For one, he is, for the most part, a rather diligent student. Other than his occasional flicks to his email, an essay heās working on, or your discussion board, he mostly sits and takes notes and doesnāt do anything else. That, you can at least give him credit for. And even though your elbows almost always nearly crash into each otherās when youāre raising your hands to respond to a point Pollackās made, discussion isnāt so bad either.Ā
One of the perks of sitting directly beside each other is that whenever he says something stupid, or saccharine, or just overly unrealistic, you donāt have to just roll your eyes from the back of the classroom while you wait to be called on. You also get to kick his foot with your own, nudge your elbow into his side. And he does the same to you. You and Jungkook are like those neighbors in sitcoms that spend all their free time shouting at each other from opposite windows. Just because your seats have gotten closer doesnāt mean your viewpoints have.Ā
A notification pops up on your laptop.
[March 17th, 11:05AM]
Jungkook: wanna meet at the tables outside after class?
You look over at Jungkook with a frown.
You: Why are you texting me? Weāre sitting right next to each other
Jungkook: because weāre in class obvs Jungkook: dont wanna be disruptive
You: Since when has that ever stopped you before?
Jungkook: haha very funny Jungkook: tables sound good?
You: Only since you asked so nicely :)
Jungkook: thoughtful as always i see
After class, you and Jungkook both hang around, waiting for each other to pack up your belongings so you can walk to the tables together. Everyone else seems to sense this weird, uncomfortable tension in the room, because they all book it out of the door much faster than either of you do. Youāre almost convinced Jungkook purposely takes extra time to zip his backpack, just because.Ā
The tables are, as per usual, empty. But you donāt have a pile of receipts to spread out, this time. You and Jungkook take a seat at one of them as you pull out your laptops, ready to outline the rest of the project.Ā
āWe should probably meet with Taehyung a couple more times, too,ā you suggest as you begin to brainstorm.Ā
āSounds good,ā Jungkook agrees. āBut we canāt meet at night on weekdays anymore. My dance groupās show is coming up and we have practice then.ā
You stop typing and turn to him. āI didnāt know you were in a dance group.ā
Jungkook shrugs, like itās no big deal. āI donāt really talk about it that much.ā
āYou should.ā
He looks up at you at that, eyes wide as he faces you.Ā
āI donāt know, it seems like something you should be passionate about,ā you say. In the same way that you promote the Film Club to every freshman you know, force all your friends to mark that theyāre Interested in your event pages on Facebook. Jungkook should want to tell everyone about his dance group. Doesnāt he love it? Isnāt he proud to be in it?
Jungkook doesnāt look like he knows what to say to that. So he doesnāt say anything at all.Ā
āWe can meet on weekends too,ā you say, adjusting to his new change of schedule easily. āThis project isnāt as all-consuming as I thought it would be.ā
āYou mean Iām not as all-consuming as you thought I would be,ā Jungkook corrects.Ā
You shake your head. āNo, you are.ā He laughs. āBut yeah, on weekends is fine. You know my schedule. What else should we do, besides talk to Taehyung?ā
Itās like a lightbulb goes off above Jungkookās head. āLetās go on a date.ā
You narrow your eyes at him. āNo.ā
āWhat do you mean, ānoā? Itās the natural progression of our relationship! Itās the next step in the rom-com! We have to,ā Jungkook insists.Ā
āFirst of all, itās a mockumentary, not a rom-com,ā you say with a sigh, finding yourself having to correct him rather frequently. āSecondly, we are not in a relationship. I am not dating you and you are not dating me.ā
āOkay, but at this point in rom-coms the two leads would definitely go on a date,ā Jungkook says, punctuating every word for emphasis. āWhatās the harm? Itās not like youāre committing yourself to a future with me.ā
āThank God,ā you mutter.Ā
āOh, shut up. You probably havenāt been on a date in years, anyway. Why not spend a night out?ā
You frown at that. āWho cares if I have or have not been on a date?ā Why does Jungkook care so much about the history of your love life? Heās always saying stuff like this, always telling you things as if youāve never been in a relationship at all, donāt know left from right, black from white. Who is he to be making those assumptions?
āPlease, Y/N,ā Jungkook begs, looking desperate. āJust one evening. And then if it really goes terribly and you end up hating me again, then we donāt have to do another one.ā
You sigh, shoulders slumping. Well, what else are you going to do? You donāt have any other ideas. And youāve already spent so much time with Jungkook this semester, whatās another evening? Just something else to cross off of your list of things to film. Maybe you can get him to take a cute photo of you to post on social media.Ā
āFine,ā you concede. āOne date. And I still hate you, by the way.ā
Jungkook clearly does not believe you. āReally? You still hate me? Iām sure you do.ā
āOkay, I donāt hate you. But still,ā you relent again. Perhaps youāre just being oddly soft today. Too lenient for your own good.Ā
Jungkook grins, cheeks little round circles as his lips curve up. āI know you like me. You just canāt admit it to yourself, can you? Canāt take that blow to your dignity.ā
āDonāt think so highly of yourself,ā you chide.Ā
āWho knows?ā Jungkook tacks on, just to be extra annoying. āMaybe youāre actually starting to fall in love with me.ā
You scoff. āYou wish.ā
āWell, are you?ā
Jungkook doesnāt ask the question the same way heās asked all of the other ones. Doesnāt say it with a shit-eating grin on his face or that glint in his eyes. Heās asking because heās curious. Curious if what heās been doing has been working. Curious if this project is really accomplishing anything at all.Ā
Funnily enough, you find yourself wondering the exact same thing.
Silent, you pausing for a moment to think, chewing on the inside of your lip. Jungkookās looking back at you, lips curled upwards as he waits for a response. Ugh, youāll just have to give it up. What else can you say? āI guessā¦ā you begin, hesitating.Ā
You arenāt sure why youāre so scared to respond. Maybe youāre just worried that things will change if you say something. If you tell him the truth.Ā
But itās just Jungkook. Heās sitting in front of you patiently, waiting for your answer. What could happen?
You confess. āI guess youāre not so bad after all.ā
Even though this is not the first time youāve ever been out on a ādateā (youāre using that word tentatively), picking out what to wear isnāt any easier than the last time.Ā
āIs black too, you know, sexy?ā
Ruby shrugs on the other end of the video call. Her phone is propped up on her desk as she works on something on her laptop, glancing over every now and then whenever you prompt her to respond. āWell, that depends. Do you wanna fuck?ā
āNo.ā
āThen it might be too sexy,ā Ruby says easily. āWhat are you even doing? I thought you didnāt go out on dates.ā
āItās not a date,ā you insist, although youāre not exactly sure which of the two of you youāre trying to convince.Ā
āYouāre asking me what kind of sexy dress to wear for a night out with a guy. Itās a date,ā Ruby reminds you, economical as always. āWho are you even going out with, anyway? You just called and asked me to pick between two dresses I have literally never seen you wear before.ā
āThatās because I donāt go out on dates, which this is not,ā you tell her, even expending the energy to stare into the camera to hammer your point home. āAnd itās with Jungkook.ā
Ruby shuts her laptop at that. You can hear the sound of her keyboard clacking as the lid hits them. āIām sorry, what?ā
āDo I need to remind you that this is not a date and therefore, you donāt need to be acting like I just told you Iām getting married.ā You frown at her. āItās just for our movie. Jungkook wants me to dress nicely, though.ā
āWear that nice summer dress you have,ā Ruby instructs instead, shooing away the two much sexier options youāre currently holding in your hands. āJust put tights on underneath if youāre cold.ā
āThis one?ā You ask, shuffling through your closet until you produce the gingham dress, plaid a pale yellow that matches gold jewelry rather well.Ā
āYes, that one. I like that one,ā Ruby says with a nod. āYou look good in it.ā
āI donāt know, I feel like itās not appropriate.ā You hesitate. Itās a cute dress, sure, but it seems tooā¦ casual. Too everyday. Jungkookās taking you out to dinner, and no doubt heās got something else planned for the rest of the evening.Ā
āI mean, you did say you had no plans on fucking him tonight,ā Ruby reminds you coarsely.Ā
āI have no plans on fucking him at all,ā you reiterate. āThis is not a date. It is for our movie.ā
āYeah, yeah.ā Ruby brushes you off with a wave of her hand. āWear whatever you want, but I like your yellow dress the most. It looks really nice on you. And if itās not a date, then neither you nor Jungkook should care.ā
āRubyāā
āI gotta go. Enjoy your not-date!ā
She hangs up.Ā
You end up wearing the yellow dress. Jungkook knocks on your apartment door just as youāre closing the clasp to your necklace, a gold choker your mother had gifted you for a birthday a couple of years ago. Itās nothing much. You grab a jacket on your way to answer the door, wrapping it around your figure as you twist the knob.Ā
On the other side is Jungkook, all decked out in black jeans and a clean-cut leather jacket, the black ensemble striking against his warm-toned skin and bleached, blonde hair. You hate to admit it, but he actually does look rather good. For Jeon Jungkook.Ā
āHiāwhoa,ā Jungkook says, doing a little whistle when he sees you, eyes bulging out of their sockets.Ā
You chuckle. āāWhoaā yourself.ā
āYou, uhā¦ā Jungkook stammers slightly, a hand coming up to rub at the nape of his neck. The movement lifts his arm up just enough for you to see the line of his waist, the seamlessness of his body. Heās always been rather fit. āYou look nice.ā
āDonāt sound so surprised,ā you chide, stepping outside and pulling the door shut behind you. āYou donāt look half bad yourself.ā
āCleaned up just for you.ā He grins.Ā
You press a hand to your heart dramatically. āIām touched.ā You begin walking down the hallway of your small apartment building, feeling your hands brushing by your sides due to how skinny the corridor is. At least, thatās what you assume.Ā
āWhere are we going?ā You ask as Jungkook opens the door to the passenger side of his car for you.Ā
He winks, that same gleam in his eye. He grins something wicked. āDonāt you remember?ā He asks. āItās a secret.ā
The secret turns out to be a small Italian restaurant on an off-road in the center of town, a family joint with those plaid red tablecloths and dark wooden chairs. Youād never heard of the place before tonight, but Jungkook insists that itās delicious and says it has a four-and-a-half star rating on Yelp, which is obviously gospel when it comes to restaurants. Itās so empty that he even has room to prop up the camera a couple of tables away to get that wide-angle shot of the both of you, two souls in a tiny little restaurant, enjoying a night out on the town. Youāre sure that by the time production and post-production rolls around youāll edit out most of your dialogue, but you like the idea of keeping in snippets of the audio, overlaying the scene with a soft instrumental.Ā
From a directorās point of view, of course. No other reason to romanticize your night with him.Ā
Itās nice. Objectively, itās definitely one of the more exciting things youāve done in a while, even if itās just a dinner out in town, away from campus. Itās new. Adventurous. Jungkook convinces you to try his vodka shrimp linguine and you offer up some of your truffle-flavored gnocchi, which he devours happily. One thing you do learn is that no matter how much time passes, no matter how much food is on his plate, Jungkook eats and eats and eats. He never seems to fill up. This is one of those restaurants that pile your bowls high with pasta, give you at least three servings, send you home with to-go packages that will last you for days, and he still somehow manages to eat every last bite. He even has some of your leftovers.Ā
Jungkook pays because he insists and says that you shouldnāt fight on camera, which you have no choice but to agree to. However, you do look him up on Venmo and send him twenty dollars to cover your half of the bill, because the idea of him paying for you doesnāt sit right with you. It was fine with the coffee, a small token of repayment after spilling it all over you, but dinner just feels like too much. Like heās carrying most of the weight and you arenāt shouldering enough. Like heās putting in all of the effort and you are just bandwagoning off of him.Ā
And partnerships arenāt supposed to be like that. Jungkook isnāt supposed to do all of the work. You arenāt supposed to do nothing. You and Jungkook may not agree on much but you both know that you are equals. That what you put in is what you get out.Ā
Itās a lesson you think you learned too late, but you wonāt make those mistakes again. Youāll get it right this time.Ā
āThat was nice,ā Jungkook says after the dinner. Youāre walking through the park just across the street now, the sun having set and the streetlamps illuminating your path. The city has strung up lights along the trees, draped them over the branches like stars, like snowflakes. Itās picturesque.Ā
āYeah.ā You nod. āThanks for taking me.ā
āThanks for coming.ā
āHow did you discover that place?ā You ask, just out of curiosity. Itās not exactly the kind of restaurant that would be front and center on Google.Ā
āI went out on a date in freshman year there,ā Jungkook admits, lips pursed awkwardly. āYeah.ā
āDid it at least go well?ā You ask, trying to be hopeful.Ā
āIf it did, do you think Iād still be here doing this with you?ā Jungkook poses, an eyebrow raised.Ā
You chuckle to yourself. āYou donāt mean that. Iām sure youāll find your person.ā
āYou actually believe in that stuff now?ā Jungkook asks you, skeptical.Ā
āI donāt know,ā you say, shrugging your shoulders. āYou do. I donāt wanna ruin it for you. Your personās out there somewhere.ā
āHow do you know I havenāt already found my person?ā
You stop in the middle of the path, feet coming to a halt on the pavement. Jungkook looks at you and you look back at him, letting his question sink into your skin, etch itself into your thoughts. Heās asking you because he wants to know. He looks so genuine, so patient, like heās trying to find an answer somewhere in your eyes but you canāt give him one.Ā
āWouldnāt you be able to tell when you did?ā
Jungkook sighs. āI donāt know if it always works like that.ā
You smile, soft and small. Musing, you say, āwell, when you figure it out, let me know.ā
āDo you think youāve found your person?ā Jungkook asks you.Ā
āYou know I donāt think about love like that,ā you remind him.Ā
āWell, how do you think about it?ā
You gaze up at him once more, that same soft smile playing on your lips. Who is he to be asking you these questions, you wonder to yourself. What would the point be in answering him? Itās better if you just both moved on. Especially since stuff like this has no relevance to your project.Ā
āI donāt really think about love at all,ā you say curtly.Ā
āI wish you did,ā admits Jungkook.Ā
The look in your eyes is distant. āYeah.ā You wish you did, too.
āHow about we do a couple of quick shots, right here?ā Jungkook suggests, pulling out the camera. āJust here, the lightingās nice.ā He jogs back a couple of feet, lining himself up with where you stand, kneeling on the pavement with the camera held up to his eye.Ā
āWhat do you want me to do?ā You call to him, feeling like a fish out of water in front of the lens, thumbs twiddling.Ā
āJust smile,ā Jungkook requests simply. āSay hi to me.ā
Sounds easy enough. Under the twinkling lights of the trees, in the haze of their warm yellow glow, you wave to Jungkook, smiling happily. You arenāt exactly sure what the purpose of these shots are, but you suppose you could always use some artistic frames in your movie. Grinning, you keep your eyes trained on him, on the way you can see him smiling back at you even from behind the camera. His eyes are covered, you canāt see those, but you hope theyāre smiling too.Ā
āOkay, my turn,ā you say when a little too much time has passed, when itās just past the point of filming for the sake of a movie and more for the sake of something else. āGet over here.ā
āMe?ā
āYes, you idiot.ā You scurry over to Jungkook, taking the camera from his hands and pushing in in the general direction of where you were just standing. Situating yourself, you kneel right where Jungkook was, bringing the camera to your eyes.Ā
Through the lens, you can see the entire width of the pathway, the grass that borders it, the lights decorating the branches of the trees, and Jungkook, front and center. He looks like he has no idea what heās doing there, waiting awkwardly as he gazes around, eyes drifting everywhere but exactly where you need them: you. He looks good like this, looks much taller, much more romantic. Like a real movie star. Like a model. His clothes make him blend in with the darkness of the night but his eyes are still shimmering, golden flecks twinkling, even from all the way over here.Ā
You have to admit it. Heās beautiful.
āSmile,ā you say, pressing film.Ā
Jungkook grins your way.Ā
Afterwards, you give him his camera back and continue walking, turning the corner as you reach the edge of the park, ready to circle around the perimeter.
āHow about we hold hands, too?ā
āExcuse you?ā You say, an eyebrow raised.Ā
āCome on, just for a second,ā Jungkook pleads. āFor the artistry. Iāll film us holding hands like all those Los Angeles boys do in YouTube vlogs.ā
You look at him suspiciously. Is he sure itās just for the artistry? āWhat a great example.ā
āPlease? Promise I always put hand cream on,ā Jungkook asks, bottom lip turned outwards.Ā
Itās getting harder and harder to say no to him.Ā
āFine,ā you cave rather easily this time around. āJust for a minute.ā
āExcellent.ā
Jungkook lifts the camera up to his eye with his right hand as he holds out his left, palm facing the sky as he waits for you to rest your own in his. You narrow your eyes to the camera before your gaze drifts downwards to his open hand, almost like youāre afraid itās going to jump out and bite at you if you get any closer. But it wonāt, because itās a hand. And it wonāt, because itās just Jungkook.Ā
The first thing you realize when your fingers intertwine with his is how big his hands are. They are massive. His left one dwarfs your own, wrapping around it securely, enveloping it like a king-sized comforter. The second thing you realize is how soft they are (he must not have been lying about the hand cream). The third thing you realize is the way they send sparks up and down your body, send tingles through your skin, shocks through your veins. You seize up a little bit at the feeling before your body finds it in itself to relax, letting the sensation wash over you like a wave from the ocean.Ā
Itās new.Ā
Itās strange.Ā
You havenāt felt that way in a long time. Felt those sparks, those jolts of energy. Like lightning has struck.Ā
Jungkook moves so that your hands are held out in front of you, making sure to adjust the lens just so he can get the exact right angle, but all you can focus on is the way your fingers interlock, the way your hand settles into his.Ā
You wonder what that means.Ā
The moment Jungkook lowers the camera you pull your hand away, overwhelmed and scared and shocked all at once. Like youāre afraid that if you reach out to him again, your whole body will freeze in place, shake like the wind.Ā
Jungkook looks at you, concern lacing his features. āYou alright?ā He asks, genuine and worried.Ā
You shake your head, willing those thoughts away. āIām fine, Iām fine. You get the shot?ā
āYeah, I did,ā Jungkook says.Ā
āAnd how do they look?ā You ask because you canāt help yourself. Because you just have to know.Ā
Jungkook pauses, not sure how to respond. He chews on his lips like heās running through all the possible answers, trying to figure out which one is right. You almost think heās not going to reply at all, but then he smiles, and he says this:Ā
āMagical.ā
It feels weird for you to be arriving at Kim Taehyungās door without Jungkook by your side. Doesnāt sit right in your stomach.Ā
Of course, Taehyung is as hospitable as always, welcoming you inside with his signature warm grin as he sets up the bar stools by the bedsheet, which you assume he will just not take down until your projectās over. Hopefully heās getting use out of it otherwise, shooting nudes or whatever it is he said he would do.Ā
āThanks for having me,ā you say, resting your backpack against the foot of his couch as you set up the tripod, arranging it in just the right spot. Itās not Jungkookās fancy camera that youāve got with you, just your own from a couple years ago, but itāll get the job done. You couldnāt ask Jungkook to borrow his, anyway. Youād pass away before he found out you did this.Ā
āWe might not use this footage,ā you warn in advance. āI just figured itās safer to film everything just in case.ā
āWhy wouldnāt you use it?ā Taehyung asks, genuinely curious.Ā
āBecause I donāt know if this conversation will really have a point,ā you say nervously, fingers fidgeting with the settings until everythingās just right.Ā
āIām sure itāll be important,ā Taehyung assures you. Youāre not so confident. āReady to get started?ā
āYes, everythingās all set up,ā you say, concentrating on your breathing as you make your way to the stool. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Why are you so worried?
āSo, Y/N, how are you feeling right now?ā Taehyung begins.Ā
You sigh. āConfused.ā
āAnd why is that?ā
āIā¦ I donāt really know what direction Iām going in anymore for this project,ā you say, letting yourself be candid and honest because itās just Taehyung, and because you may not even use this footage, and because Jungkookās not here. He doesnāt know youāve asked Taehyung to do this for you. He doesnāt need to.Ā
āAnd is this because of Jungkook?ā
āYes.ā Another easy answer.Ā
āHow are you feeling about him?ā
āIāmā¦ā you donāt know where to begin. āIām not sure. I just know that somethingās changed.ā
āYour feelings have changed?ā Taehyung isnāt reacting, just asking questions in response to your answers and pretending that everything is normal, that this is just another interview.Ā
āI guess they have,ā you admit. Even just saying that feels like a weight off your chest. A small one, five pounds out of a thousand. But itās a difference. āIā¦ donāt really know how I feel about him anymore.ā
āIn a good or bad way?ā
Taehyung told you he would ask tough questions, but you donāt know if you can answer these anymore.Ā
āI donāt know,ā you say, feeling yourself growing desperate with impatience. āI donāt feel the same things about him that I used to. Heās different to me now.ā
āDo you think heās changed?ā
āSomething has.ā
āHave you considered the possibility that maybe youāve changed, too?ā
You frown, caught off-guard by his question. No, you havenāt. You havenāt thought about that at all. Why would you? Your stance is the same. Your opinions on love havenāt changed. And neither have your convictions about this project, about the way it will end.Ā
āNo,ā you say, nose scrunched up.Ā
āWell, Iām no expert, but I think there might be something between the two of you that wasnāt there before,ā Taehyung says, nodding. āI think that the ways the two of you have changed have brought you together.ā
āI donāt know about thatā¦ā You trail off. You can feel yourself growing hesitant again, pulling back from saying too much because youāve never been a very good speaker. Because youāve always preferred being behind the camera to being in front of it.Ā
āDonāt you think you should tell him how you feel?ā
You scoff. At least thatās got an easy answer. A no-brainer. āNo,ā you say matter-of-factly, obvious because it is, stern because telling him was never an option anyway. Why else does Taehyung think youāre here without him? āJungkook said he would get me to fall in love with him and I told him I would never. How could I ever let him think he was actually winning?ā
Taehyung sighs.
You havenāt seen Jungkook since your class on Wednesday. Granted, itās only Saturday, but it feels like itās been a weirdly long time. Like youāre so used to him barging into your life on the daily that thereās something off about even going three days without seeing him. Maybe itās just because youāre nearing the beginning of April and your project is finally picking up steam. Between the two of you, you almost definitely have more than two hourās worth of footage, but the hard part will be paring it down and turning it into a forty-five minute documentary. No doubt you and Jungkook will be spending a lot of time together the week before itās due.Ā
Just out of curiosity, you text him. Because you have no idea what heās been getting up to.Ā
[March 28th, 1:05PM]
You: Hey, do you think we need to get together sometime this weekend?
Jungkook: i donāt think i can Jungkook: itās my dance groupās show this weekend
You: Really? You: You didnāt tell me
Jungkook: been too busy
You: What time is your show tonight?
Jungkook: 7pm
You: Sounds good, Iāll be there
Jungkook: oh Jungkook: you donāt have to
You: I want to You: Iāll see you there!
That night, you drop by the grocery store beforehand to pick up a bouquet of flowers. You havenāt been a performing arts show for years now, especially not one where you actually know the people performing, but flowers are customary. Or so youāve heard.Ā
You donāt know a single soul who has plans on seeing Jungkookās dance group either, but the theater is a ten-minute walk away from campus and youāre happy to make the trek alone, especially because you know youāll find someone you know soon enough. Sometimes itās nice to walk by yourself, letting the streetlamps above your head illuminate your path, a faceless figure passing by others. It brings peace. And it gives you time to sift through your thoughts, organize them into neat little piles and brush away all of the dust.Ā
Admittedly, you are not much of a connoisseur of the performing arts. You arenāt even much of a consumer. In another universe, under different circumstances, you wouldnāt blink twice if you heard that one of the dance groups on campus was having their show. But this is not another universe, and these are not different circumstances.Ā
Jungkook will be there. He is taking something heās worked tirelessly on and presenting it to the world. Now that you think about it, itās actually a lot like film. And if Jungkook has devoted so much time, put so much energy into this performance, what kind of person would you be if you didnāt go and watch his creation?
You pick a seat in the far back corner, the venue so cozy that even despite being the furthest away youāve still got an excellent view, sit down, and wait for it to begin.Ā
[March 28th, 6:58PM]
Jungkook: hey are you here?
You: I guess youāll just have to wait and see, wonāt you?
Jungkook: always such a tease
You roll your eyes at that, turning your phone off and stowing it away in your pocket. Two minutes later, the lights dim.Ā
The moment Jungkook steps out onto the stage, you recognize him instantly. Heās wearing all black again, but itās not the same skinny jeans and leather jacket he had on when he took you out to dinner. Itās a loose long-sleeved shirt and sweatpants that hang low on his hips, highlighting the blondeness of his hair, the red in his lips. Heās one of at least a dozen people on stage but heās the only one you focus on, the only one who your eyes follow. Booming throughout the theater is a Drake song, the beat thick and low, but itās background noise when compared to the way he moves, the way he twists and turns his body on stage, angles sharp and crisp.Ā
The whole song goes by so quickly that by the time you find it in yourself to blink the stage is already darkening as they move onto the next song, switching out the performers and changing the spotlight colors to a sultry red. Jungkook disappears for this one, vanishing behind the curtains and forcing you to pay attention to the performance as a whole instead of just him. But you have to hand it to his group: theyāre excellent. Youāve been missing out.Ā
Jungkook returns with the next song, having had just enough time to change into an all-white ensemble. Heās easy to spot even with that ridiculous bucket hat on, blonde hair bouncing with every step he takes, every jerk of his body. You can see it all the way from where you sit, see the way he loses himself in the music, lets the rhythm radiate through his blood, lets his heart match the beat that booms through the speakers. This, all of it, the music, the dancing, the energyāitās all his. It belongs to him. Jungkook may love film but he is passionate about this. It is something that must bring him all the joy in the world.Ā
The next hour and a half goes by quickly, the songs jumping from one to another to another, Jungkook dashing on and off stage, each time returning in a different getup than the one prior. Makes you wonder just how many clothes he has. But before you know it the final song is playing and every one, every single member is on stage, jumping and cheering and celebrating a job well done. And they should, because they deserve to.Ā
When the lights in the theater come on, nobody leaves. Instead, everyone rushes towards the stage to say hello to everybody, congratulate them on their performance and take pictures with their friends. Thatās why everyone else is here, isnāt it? Because the people they care about performed tonight.Ā
Isnāt that why youāre here, too?
Jungkook has plenty of other friends already wrapping their arms around him, giving him high-fives and pats on the back, but youāve got a bouquet of assorted flowers in your hands and you have no plans on bringing them home. So you squeeze your way through the crowd, push yourself in between bodies, and you shout,Ā
āJungkook!ā
Jungkook looks up instantly at the call of his name, the round shape of his lips curving upwards into a smile when he sees you.Ā
āHey, you made it!ā He exclaims happily. Heās so pumped on the adrenaline that he pulls you into a hug without either of you even realizing it, wrapping his arms around your torso and squeezing you tight for a few moments before the two of you remember just exactly who you both are. Quickly, you pull away, chuckling awkwardly. Jungkook scratches at the back of his head. āThanks for, uhāthanks for coming.ā
āOf course,ā you say happily. āYou were amazing.ā
āWhat can I say, Iām a man of many talents,ā Jungkook schmoozes, annoying as always.Ā
You scoff slightly. āDonāt get ahead of yourself. Here, I brought this for you. Itās traditional, right?ā You hold out the bouquet in front of you, pink plastic wrapping crunched up from where your fingers gripped the stems.Ā
āWow, thank you,ā Jungkook says, in awe as he takes the flowers from you, pressing his face into the petals instinctively. āNo oneās ever gotten me flowers before.ā
āReally?ā You say, genuinely surprised at his admission. Heās never been given flowers before? Not even for a performance? You didnāt know that, either. āThen Iām glad to be the first.ā
āYou know you didnāt have to do that,ā Jungkook says, though he looks grateful nonetheless.Ā
You shrug, acting casual. āArenāt we supposed to be falling in love, or something?ā
He grins.Ā
āDid you guys film this? Maybe we could incorporate it into the movie,ā you suggest, thinking it might be interesting to add in glimpses into your normal lives, into the things you do when you arenāt trying to one-up each other.Ā
Jungkook shakes his head. āWe did, but I donāt think we need to add it in.ā
āWhy not?ā It seems like a perfect addition.Ā
Jungkook pulls out a single flower from the bouquet, a pale yellow daisy, and hands it to you. You smile your thanks, twirling the stem in between your fingers.Ā
āI donāt know,ā he says, looking oddly soft, cheeks turning cherry red. He looks at you and it makes your heart flutter, quickens the drum of your chest. āI just think Iād like to keep this moment to ourselves.ā
You suppose heās got a point. You donāt think youāll forget this night, either.Ā
The bouquet you gave him sits on Jeon Jungkookās bedroom windowsill, bathing in the afternoon sun. Taehyung gave him some plant food the morning after you came to his performance, a little bottle that he can spritz into the water whenever the flowers look a little droopy. Jungkook adds some every day, determined to keep them alive for as long as possible. He also makes sure heās got a rather heavy book or two, something he can use to press one of them when theyāve all shriveled up.Ā
It was really nice of you to come to his show, he thinks to himself. Jungkook canāt remember the last time someone outside of his group of close friends went to see him perform, not any of his past dates or even that one girl he was seeing semi-seriously for a couple months last year until she told him she wasnāt interested in him anymore. Youāre the first one whoās made the effort, whoās told him that you would come and kept that promise. The flowers are just a happy reminder.Ā
As a celebration for completing their last show, Jungkook and some of the other juniors in his dance crew decide to go out the following weekend, determined to waste away their Saturday nights at a bar just off of campus where they can take as many shots of as many different types of alcohols as they want. The place even has soju, which makes Jungkookās heart happy.Ā
Despite the temptation to drink until his brain is empty, however, Jungkook holds off. Heās got a lot of work tomorrow, most of it consisting of editing the footage you have for the project, and doesnāt really feel like staring at a computer for eight hours straight with a headache. So he limits himself. For the most part.Ā
āWho was that girl that came to the show?ā One of his friends, Andrew, asks as he downs another shot of what is undoubtedly vodka, if the smell is anything to go by. āWith the flowers?ā
āIs she your girlfriend?ā Jesse pipes up, red in the face from the alcohol in his system. Heās always been one to turn into a tomato after drinking.Ā
Jungkook chuckles awkwardly, shaking his head when the bartender offers him another shot glass full of soju. āNo,ā he says, forcing a laugh. āJust a friend.ā
āI donāt know, you guys looked pretty close to me,ā Andrew points out, like it wasnāt already obvious enough that Jungkook is head over heels for you.Ā
āShe and I are working on a film project together,ā Jungkook explains, though that does absolutely nothing to convince his friends of your completely platonic relationship.Ā
āSounds fun,ā Jesse says, swallowing another shot and wincing. āIt was nice of her to bring you flowers. My girlfriend didnāt do that.ā
āShut up, your girlfriend is studying abroad in Paris right now,ā Andrew says, giving Jesse a good-natured shove. āIām gonna tell her you said that.ā
āWhat, please donātāā
āSheās not my girlfriend, guys,ā Jungkook repeats himself, feeling his cheeks heat up the longer the conversation drags on. He chalks it up to the soju in his system and the fact that it feels like a sauna in here. āSeriously, weāre just friends. People can be friends and bring each other flowers.ā
Jesse pumps his fist in the air. āYeah!ā He rounds on Andrew. āWhere are my flowers, hey Andrew?ā
The two of them start bickering as Jungkook laughs, shaking his head fondly. At least heās not drunk, so he can remember nights like these, ones where heās drinking with his stupid idiot friends, celebrating a show well done.Ā
Jungkook stays at the bar until eleven that night before he makes the executive decision to go home and sleep, because as much as he would like to party until three in the morning, heās got a pile of work thatās telling him to be a real adult. So he bids his friends goodbye and begins to make the trek back to his apartment, passing by the row of frat houses on his way.Ā
Even though heās out on the sidewalk, Jungkook can feel the ground rumble from the music, every frat on the block joining together to make some booming, bass monster. From here he can see the flashing blue and purple lights in the windows, see the brothers standing on the steps of each house and turning away whoever they deem unfit to enter.Ā
In a weird way, it makes Jungkook nostalgic. Reminiscent of when he was a freshman, when he would group up with all of the people in his hall and parade around the frat row on Saturday nights like they owned the place, getting drunk on shitty tequila and jumping until they sweat out their body fluids. He remembers those nights in flashes, bits and pieces that make up his memory of freshman year as a whole. Remembers kissing other girls, other girls kissing him. Remembers the way he would lock lips with them for a second and then forget about it by the next day.Ā
Jungkook wonders why he ever thought he would meet his soulmate at a frat party.Ā
Heās just passing the last frat house now, nodding to the guy on the step when they accidentally meet eyes, when he hears you call his name.Ā
āJungkook!ā
He whips around to see you on the other side of the road, waving at him excitedly while your friends all laugh, sending smiles Jungkookās way.Ā
Jungkook isnāt exactly sure what the protocol is for a scenario like this, so he does what he thinks is right and waves back.Ā
āCome over here!ā You shout at him, loosely gesturing for him to join your group. Jungkook is hesitant, not sure if thatās necessarily the best course of action because even from here he can tell that youāre drunk, leaning over to one side and giggling at nothing. But even if he isnāt sure what will happen he canāt help but fall into the way youāre beaming at him, waving excitedly because you saw him on the street and you wanted to say hello.
Heās never been able to resist you.Ā
āHey, what are you doing out here?ā He says as he jogs over, greeting the rest of your friends with a patient smile.Ā
āWent out with my friends,ā you say. Jungkook can smell the alcohol on your lips. āAnd then I saw you, which made me happy!ā
You stumble over nothing, shoes skipping as they drag along the pavement, and before any of your friends can react Jungkook is reaching his arms out, catching you before you fall flat on your face. Your hands press against his torso as he lifts you back to your feet, and all Jungkook can do is pray that you canāt hear the way his heart races, beat drumming in his ears. You giggle in his hold, disoriented but not at all uneasy, looking up at him as your eyes sparkle in the glow of the streetlamps.Ā
āThanks,ā you manage to cough out.Ā
āSure,ā Jungkook says, breathless. He stands you up and tries to let you go, but you keep your hands tight around his wrists. āI think we need to get you home.ā
āCan you come with me?ā You ask innocently, eyes wide.Ā
āY/Nā¦ā One of your friends says, voice hesitant. She places a hand on your shoulder, looking concerned. Jungkook doesnāt take any offense to it, he doesnāt know your friends well and imagines that they would much prefer being the ones to drop you back at your place.Ā
You shrug her off. āNo, itās okay, Ruby,ā you assure your friend, hand inching down Jungkookās wrist until it rests firmly within his palm. āIāll go with him.ā
Ruby eyes Jungkook suspiciously and her gaze is so intense that it actually makes him doubt his ability to walk you home for a moment. But you seem intent on walking with him, and the sooner you go home the better, so Ruby relents and lifts her hand from your shoulder. āAlright, if you want to.ā She keeps her eyes trained on Jungkook. āText me when youāre back.ā
āI will, I will,ā you say, brushing her off and waving her away. āLetās go, Jungkook. Iām sleepy.ā
āOkay, come on,ā he says. You smile happily at your friends as you say goodbye, cheerful and drunk and tired, all at once, and you begin to walk towards your apartment.Ā
āIām glad youāre here,ā you tell him, positively filter-less.Ā
āIām glad Iām here, too,ā Jungkook assures you. āWhat did you have to drink tonight?ā
āNot sure,ā you admit happily. āJust a lot.ā
āI can tell.ā Jungkook nods. āWere you at a frat party?ā
āSeveral,ā you correct him. āThey werenāt that fun but at least the drinks were free.ā
āWhy were you at a frat party if you donāt like them?ā Jungkook asks you, nose scrunched up. You certainly arenāt the kind of person to hide your distaste for things. That is something that Jungkook is intimately familiar with.Ā
You shrug. āItās the cheapest place to get drunk.ā
āWhy did you want to get drunk?ā This is seeming more and more out-of-character for you. Going to a place you despise, taking shots until you canāt walk straight, meandering around campus with Jungkook. All of these are things Jungkook could never in a million years picture you doing out of free will.Ā
Well, all of them except maybe the last one. You did come to his dance show, after all.Ā
You sigh. Itās thick and heavy and Jungkook has a feeling you wonāt want to divulge any more. āI just wanted to forget.ā
But the curiosity is eating at him.Ā
āForget what?ā
Your grip on his hand tightens. Jungkook fully expects you to dodge the question like youāve dodged all of the ones prior, say something else to change the topic so you can sweep this discussion under the rug like all of the other ones youāve had. But you donāt.Ā
Instead, you say, āYou wanna know why I donāt love love the way you do?ā
āYou donāt have to tell me,ā Jungkook quickly assures you.Ā
āI had better options than this place,ā you say, voice hollow and empty. āThere were better universities that accepted me. Ones with higher-ranked film programs and bigger scholarships. I could have gone to any one of them and been just as happy. Maybe more.ā
āBut you didnāt,ā Jungkook clarifies.Ā
āMy ex-boyfriend goes to school ten minutes away from here,ā you say, words that are most certainly news to Jungkook. You had a boyfriend? āHe and I dated all throughout high school. I thought I was gonna marry him.ā
The words sound so sad. It sounds like they donāt even belong to you. Like youāre recalling the memories of a different person, someone youāve killed and buried, someone you were certain you would never have to face again. Yourself. Your past self.Ā
āAnd then he broke up with me at the beginning of last year and it was too late to transfer out.ā Your words are slurred and garbled, like all you want is to get over with saying them in the first place. Itās not a dramatic revelation. Itās not something youāre crying about, sobbing into Jungkookās chest as you remember, miserable, a time where you were once happy. You just sound lifeless.Ā
Jungkook blinks at you expectantly, waiting for you to continue. It doesnāt feel right for him to speak up. Not when youāve just revealed to him something so personal, so drunk that you probably wonāt even remember saying anything when you wake up tomorrow morning.Ā
What is he supposed to do with this knowledge? What is he supposed to say? To do? Itās not like Jungkook can change your past. Itās not even as if he can change the near future. Your project is almost finishedāthe semester is almost over. And then you will return to the time where you never even knew each other.Ā
āYou can say something,ā you tell him.
āWhat do you want me to say?ā Jungkook says.Ā
āSomething to make me feel better, because now Iām sad,ā you request simply. āSeeing you made me happy.ā
āMaybe I should just keep my mouth shut and smile, then,ā he muses to himself.Ā
āNo, please keep talking,ā you plead, leaning into his body with your bottom lip puffed out, eyes big and round and desperate. āListening to you gets me to stop thinking about this stuff.ā
Hearing that, Jungkook says the first thing that comes to mind. And that is, āYou donāt have to think about that stuff anymore at all.ā
āHmm?ā You murmur into his chest. Jungkook sees your apartment building up ahead. Just another block or so.Ā
āWell, that was your old love story,ā he begins tentatively. Jungkookās almost fully sober by now but he feels like he wonāt ever get another opportunity to say this, and maybe whatever soju is left in his system is enough to get him through this conversation. Enough for him to muster up the confidence to tell you what heās been wanting to tell you for a while now.Ā
Even if you forget it by tomorrow. He knows this is his only chance.Ā
āAnd it didnāt have a happy ending, but thatās okay. Because ours will.āĀ
Youāre just coming up to your apartment complex, the rusted gold doors of the entrance sticking out against the beige of the building and the sidewalk, shimmering in the light of the streetlamps. You pause right outside, taking cover underneath the red awning above your heads. Looking up at him, you blink expectantly.Ā
āHow do I know you mean that?ā You ask.Ā
He almost does it.Ā
Jungkook doesnāt really know what washes over him in that moment, what takes his heart and mind prisoner for a split second, grip tight and unforgiving. But heās staring straight into your watery eyes, glossy and glimmery and glowing, lost in the way you press your lips together, the way you gaze up at him and wait for him to tell you what heās always wanted to say, and he almost does it. His hands press at your sides, holding you close, like heās afraid that if he lets you go youāll vanish without another trace and this night will all have been for naught.Ā
But he doesnāt.Ā
He doesnāt for a lot of reasons. Youāre drunk. When you wake up tomorrow, you will not remember this conversation. But Jungkook will. And if he does it, if he kisses you, if he presses his lips to yours it will be burned into his thoughts, carved into his heart, and you will be none the wiser. Jungkook canāt do that to himself. And he canāt do that to you, either. He will never take advantage of your company. He never has.
āBecause,ā Jungkook says instead, having hesitated for far too long. āI promise you.ā
Itās good enough for him.Ā
He tucks you into bed at 12:17AM that night, feet padding along your hardwood floor so he doesnāt wake up your neighbors, guiding you to your bedroom and reminding you to text Ruby that you made it home safely. Jungkookās never gotten a very good look at your place, and even now itās hard to make out most things without the main ceiling lights on, but he doesnāt really want to snoop. Even though you invited him in, he still feels like heās intruding. Youāve always been so private. There were a lot of things said tonight that Jungkook is going to have to reckon with.Ā
Once youāre curled up beneath your sheets, eyes drooping, Jungkooks turns off the light on your nightstand and nearly, just about nearly, presses his lips to your forehead. He manages to avoid doing that, too.Ā
Instead, he pulls up your duvet and heads towards the main room, making a beeline for your front door. But before he can leave the room, he hears you mumble out his name.Ā
āJungkook?ā You call, voice groggy.Ā
āYeah?ā He looks back at you from where he stands in your door frame, one hand on the knob, ready to pull it closed.Ā
You smile, eyes fluttering. āThank you,ā you say.Ā
Jungkook grins.Ā
The next morning you wake up with a pounding headache and three missed calls from Ruby, which undoubtedly means that something positively terrible happened last night. Unfortunately, you have no idea what happened at all last night, good or terrible, so whatever Ruby has to say will be news to you.Ā
Rubbing your eyes as you wrack your brain in the hopes of figuring out how you even ended up back at your apartment (when you swear you told Ruby you would stay at hers), you press on Rubyās contact and call her.Ā
āY/N? Hello? Are you there?ā Ruby answers on the first ring.Ā
āIām here,ā you mumble out, words jumped and barely intelligible. You wince as your eyes adjust to the harsh blue light of your phone screen, squinting as you look at the time.Ā
Shit, itās 11:43AM and youāre meeting Jungkook for coffee at noon.Ā
āGood, I called you three times last night after you texted,ā Ruby wastes no time diving into her interrogation.Ā
āWhy?ā You ask, scrambling out of bed with your phone pressed between your shoulder and your ear. Your head throbs so you quickly take some Ibuprofen, splash your face with water, and start looking for something clean you can put on.Ā
āBecause texting me āhomeā is not enough!ā Ruby exclaims. āJungkook walked you home last night, I wanted to make sure you were tucked in bed and feeling alright.ā
You frown. You donāt remember that. Granted, you donāt remember a lot of things, but you canāt recall Jungkook walking you back. You saw him last night? You didnāt even know. Scratching your head, a part of you vaguely pictures him standing in your apartment in the dark, resting against the door frame to your bedroom in the warm yellow light of the lamp on your nightstand. Can just barely see him tucking you into bed, placing the sheets over your figure and making you text Ruby that youāre home. You thought you were just imagining it at the time, but it must have happened anyway.Ā
āJungkook walked me home?ā
āYeah, you insisted,ā Ruby says. āYou probably donāt remember, though.ā
āNo,ā you say dumbly.Ā
āWell, I appreciate you texting me that you were home but I would have preferred something more explanatory,ā scolds Ruby. āI thought maybe Jungkook was gonna do something.ā
āOh my goodness, no,ā you immediately interject, pulling on your shoes and stuffing your laptop into your backpack. Just the thought of Jungkook doing something like that sends your stomach for a whirl. āHe would never do that. I trust him.ā
āI mean, I see that now,ā Ruby points out. āI just wanted to make sure you were okay.ā
āIām fine,ā you promise. āEverythingās good.ā
āAlright, if you say so,ā Ruby says, still sounding a bit like an overprotective mother. You love her, though. You know she just wants the best for you. āTake it easy today, okay? You had a lot to drink last night.ā
āI will,ā you assure her. āIām just on my way to meet up with Jungkook now. Getting coffee.ā
āMake sure to eat, too,ā Ruby reminds you. āAnd tell Jungkook that I said thanks for walking you home.ā
āAnything else, Mom?ā
You can practically see Ruby frowning on the other end. āOh, shut up. Iāll see you, okay?ā
She bids you goodbye just as youāre dashing out the door, your usual stride quickening so you make it to the cafe in time, not wanting to keep Jungkook waiting. You make it there in a record five minutes, pulling open the door frantically just as the clock strikes noon.Ā
Jungkookās already there, of course, sitting by a little round table in the corner of the room with two americanos on the table. He waves when he sees you standing by the entrance, and the mere sight of him makes you smile, shoulders relaxing.Ā
āHey,ā you greet, a little out of breath as you settle into the chair across from him.Ā
āHey,ā Jungkook says back. āHow are you feeling?ā
āMy head is killing me, but other than that Iām alright,ā you admit, taking a sip of the drink. Itās piping hot but just the right amount of scalding, warming your insides after a night of filling them with pure poison.Ā
āGood.ā He grins. āItās nice to see your face.ā
āOh, yeah, speaking of which,ā you say while still on the topic, ādid you walk me home last night? I canāt remember.ā
Jungkook nods. āYeah, I bumped into you and your friends while I was on my way back from a bar.ā
You wince. The fact that you donāt even remember that happening tells you enough. āI was super drunk, wasnāt I?ā
Jungkook, nice as always, says, āIāve seen worse.ā It only makes you feel the slightest bit better.Ā
āHope I didnāt say anything embarrassing,ā you say, knowing you have a tendency to lose your filter almost entirely when you get wasted, letting any sort of mental reasoning fly out the door the moment you down another shot. And the thought of having told Jungkook something deeply humiliating or personal, or even him witnessing something stupid, makes you feel weirdly exposed.Ā
Jungkook freezes for a split second, almost like heās buffering, like heās about to say something but itās just taking him an extra step to get the words out of his mouth. Then he takes a quick sip of his americano and shakes his head. āNo, you didnāt. You were just very drunk. And clingy.ā
āIām so sorry you had to deal with that,ā you apologize. You canāt imagine the hell you must have put Jungkook through last night.Ā
Jungkook laughs. āItās okay. Iām glad we got you home safe.ā
āMe, too.ā You nod. You send a grateful smile his way. āThanks for walking me, by the way. I really appreciate it. Ruby says thanks, too.ā
āAnytime,ā Jungkook says. It doesnāt sound like something that people say just to say it. The way that people say āanytimeā just so they can be friendly and amicable. He says it and he means it, says it genuinely and honestly, like itās a real promise that heās making. That he would be happy to walk you home again. No matter the hour. No matter how drunk you are. No matter what heās doing.Ā
And that means a lot to you.Ā
āWe should probably wrap up filming soon, huh?ā You say, getting onto the topic at hand. Of course, the project is the whole reason youāre even talking to each other in the first place. āItās due in three weeks.ā
āYeah, I was thinking of another outing? And maybe one more thing with Taehyung?ā Jungkook suggests.Ā
You narrow your eyes suspiciously. āāAnother outingā, Jungkook? What exactly do you have in mind?ā
He grins.Ā
This time, Jungkook is the one with the flowers.Ā
When you open your front door theyāre the first thing you see, an enormous bouquet of an assortment of spring flowers in a variety of colorsāpinks and purples and oranges and yellowsāgripped neatly in Jungkookās hand. They stick out against his otherwise rather formal attire, a simple black dress shirt and jeans, nice shoes that compliment his figure. Black truly is the worldās most slimming color, and Jungkook is no exception. He looks good.Ā
āFor you, mālady,ā Jungkook says dramatically as he holds out the bouquet in front of him.
āHow thoughtful of you,ā you muse to yourself, grinning. You take the flowers and press your whole face into them, breathing in the fresh scent. āThe one I gave you wasnāt nearly this big.ā
āGo big or go home,ā Jungkook teases. āYou look nice, by the way.ā
āYou always sound so surprised when you say that,ā you comment snidely, shaking your head as you grab your bag from the shelf next to your door. āWhat are we doing tonight, Jeon? Gonna keep it a secret from me like last time?ā
āThat depends,ā Jungkook says knowingly. āDo you like secrets?ā
āYou should know what I like by now,ā you remark.Ā
āThen prepare to be wowed.ā He grins, taking your hand in his as he pulls you out the door.Ā
The restaurant you go to this time does not require a ten minute drive to the center of town. Instead, itās a five minute walk from campus and actually happens to be a place youāve been to before. Itās a busy little thing on a Friday night, waiters bustling about with trays in their hands, people laughing and smiling under the dim light of the chandeliers. Youāve only been here once, long ago, for a club dinner paid for by the finance chair, and for good reason. Itās not the kind of place cheap college students looking to get the most food for the least amount of money go to.Ā
āIsnāt this a bit out of budget for our rom-com?ā You ask as the host seats you at your table, a little booth in the middle of the restaurant, lanterns resting on the corners of the seats.Ā
āI thought this was a mockumentary,ā Jungkook jokes.Ā
āYeah, yeah,ā you say, resisting the smile that fights its way across your face. Trust you to make that sort of blunder in front of him. āI mean it, though. This place is expensive.ā
āItās manageable,ā Jungkook promises. āIāve been saving up. Plus, I thought you deserved a nice night out.ā
āHow generous of you.ā
āOh, come on, I know youāre excited,ā he narrows his eyes at you. āYou donāt have to act like a stone-cold robot anymore.ā
āWellā¦ā you suppose enough is enough. Jungkook can see right through you anyway, so thereās no point in keeping up this indifferent facade of yours. āOnly because youāre treating me so nicely.ā
āJust please donāt order the steak,ā he requests simply.Ā
You laugh. āNo problem. Maybe we could just share a couple of appetizers?ā
Jungkook likes the sound of that.Ā
Luckily, this is not one of those restaurants where the appetizers cost an arm and a leg and are the size of your pinky finger. You and Jungkook split three different ones, happy to scoop out portions for each of you and indulge in them together.Ā
Dinner datesāof which this is only sort of oneāare always awkward because you spend half of the time shoving food into your mouth, but you and Jungkook donāt seem to mind the silence at all. Only, Jungkook does look sort of like heās holding back.
āIs this enough food for you?ā You ask him halfway through, distantly remembering how he absolutely devoured a whole plate of pasta last time and still having enough room in his stomach to finish yours.Ā
āWhat do you mean?ā Jungkook asks over a mouthful of vegetables.Ā
āYou ate so much at the Italian place, I just want to make sure you arenāt still hungry,ā you point out.Ā
āOh.ā Jungkook pauses, swallowing down the bite in his mouth. āNo, Iām okay. Thanks for thinking of me, though.ā
āYeah, of course,ā you say. You hesitate for a moment, not sure if you should say anything else. But what the hell, right? Itās Jungkook. Itās Jungkook and he walked you home when you were drunk, he gave you flowers, he let you borrow his jacket. And you feel as though you must return the favor. āAnytime.ā
He smiles.Ā
Despite the pure ecstasy you both experience when eating delicious food, Jungkook makes sure not to waste this time and grabs a few frames of you eating with his camera. He always seems to have that with him whenever heās with you, hanging around his neck or stuffed into his backpack or crammed into his pants pocket. Sort of makes you wonder just how much footage the two of you have of each other.Ā
He insists on paying but you send him some money anyway, just because letting him shoulder the burden of a place as expensive (for college students, at least) as this just doesnāt sit right with you. Whenever he receives the Venmo notification on his phone, Jungkook frowns and says that heāll send that money back to you, but he never does and you can tell that he really does appreciate it.Ā
You donāt think you have any plans on stopping that for a while.Ā
The only downside of going to this restaurant is that there is no gorgeous, light-strung park in the vicinity the two of you can wander around. Just your campus, which you have no doubt walked a thousand times over, and the streets surrounding it, which you have memorized like the back of your hand.Ā
It almost makes you think that Jungkook is just going to drop you back off at your place and the night will end there, but you know better than to expect something like that from Jungkook. Instead, as youāre walking, you point out the cafe that you and Ruby always go to, see that itās closing in half-an-hour, and Jungkook decides then and there that itās your next destination.Ā
āYouāve never been here before?ā You ask when you walk inside, eyes immediately drifting to the display of pastries beside the register.Ā
āIām not normally on this side of campus,ā Jungkook admits. āYouāre the only reason Iām ever here.ā
āThen hopefully after finding this place, youāll have two reasons,ā you say cheerfully. The baristas behind the counter know you on a first-name basis, are happy to help you out even though theyāve no doubt been working long hours and are ready to close up shop and go home.Ā
You split a tiramisu and sit at that same corner table you and Ruby always pick, empty now that itās so late at night. Other than the employees, you and Jungkook are the only ones in here, a far cry from the hustle and bustle of the restaurant, filled to the brim with people, the smell of cooked food wafting through the air.Ā
Ā The tiramisu isn't as fresh as it would be bright and early in the morning, but you suppose that that just means you and Jungkook will have to come back. Besides, Jungkook obviously does not seem to mind, scarfing it down ruthlessly. Youāre in and out just as they close up shop, the employees bidding you goodbye like old friends, sending you on your way. Thereās not really much else either of you have planned for tonight, and Jungkook isnāt coming up with any new ideas as he checks his phone. Instead, you just begin to head back to your apartment, all wrapped up in each other. You place your hand in his own and feel yourself relax when he squeezes, a silent little reminder that heās still here, and that so are you.
Funnily enough, holding hands feels natural to you at this point.Ā
āTonight was fun,ā you comment, breaking the quiet.
āYeah, glad we could do this,ā Jungkook agrees. āMakes me kind of sad to know that this thing is almost over.ā
āWhat, the project?ā
Jungkook shrugs. āYeah. And the class. And the semester. Itās kind of scary. Weāll be seniors next year.ā
You chuckle. āUgh, donāt remind me. I still have no idea what Iām going to do after we graduate.ā
āYou donāt have to know everything,ā Jungkook reassures you. āAs long as youāre happy with what you have now.ā
āAre you?ā You inquire, looking up to meet his eyes.Ā
Jungkook beams down at you. āI am.ā
The walk from the cafe to your apartment is short, just under five minutes, but it feels like it takes you an hour, footsteps slow and languid, like neither of you want the night to end. You hit every red light, round every corner, drawing out the evening for as long as you can. Unfortunately, there is only so much you can do on a five-minute walk, and before you know it, youāre home.
āThis is me,ā you say, stopping outside the gold doors of your apartment complex. āThanks again for tonight.ā
āAnytime,ā Jungkook says, a common thread in your conversations.Ā
āReally?ā You ask, skeptical. āOur projectās almost over.ā
āThat doesnāt mean we have to stop doing this,ā Jungkook says.Ā
You narrow your eyes. āWhat are you implying, huh, Jungkook?ā
āThis.ā
Before you know it, heās wrapping one hand around your waist and pulling you in close to him, your palms splayed out against his broad, toned chest, pressing his lips to yours. You gasp a little into the feeling, somewhat shocked he would dare be so bold even after all this time, but find yourself sinking into the touch. He tastes like coffee and cream, like peppermint from his chapstick, like the wine you shared tonight. You cave into the way he holds you, hands wrapped around your body, palms pressed firmly against your figure. He holds you like heās afraid to let go, like heās trying to remind himself that youāre real and here and that you are kissing him back, like heāll forget once the moment ends.Ā
But he need not worry about that.Ā
When you part, you donāt even bother wiping off the stupid smile on your face, kiss-drunk and filled with glee. Itās been a long time since you felt this way. And Jungkook makes you feel things you donāt even think you can explain.Ā
āHow bold of you,ā you comment, noses touching, barely an inch away from each other.Ā
āI figured Iād shoot my shot,ā Jungkook says. He shrugs, pretending to be casual, but you can see the way heās grinning, beaming, down at you.Ā
āYou scored,ā you remind him.
āHow observant of you,ā teases Jungkook in return. You pout a little at his playful mockery, heart fond. āThink we can do it again?ā
āHmm, I would tone down the ego first,ā you say, already leaning back in to press your lips against his.Ā
āNever.ā He smiles wickedly.Ā
Itās a quicker kiss this time, a short peck against his cherry red mouth, but it still makes your heart beat something terribly fierce.Ā
āSee you soon?ā You ask when you finally pull away, knowing that as much as youād like to, you canāt just stand out here kissing each other forever.Ā
Jungkook nods, cheeks pink and warm to the touch. He looks so sleek in his formal black outfit, crisp button-down and slacks, hair all styled, but the way heās grinning at you makes him look so young, so sublimely happy. Itās nice.Ā
āAnytime.ā
āThereās my favorite couple!ā Taehyung greets excitedly when he swings open the door to his apartment to reveal you and Jungkook standing on the other side.Ā
āWhatās it to you?ā You comment snidely as he lets you inside, the black sheet still taped up along his wall. It looks a little more wrinkled than when you last saw it.Ā
āOh, nothing,ā Taehyung singsongs. He definitely knows a lot more than he cares to tell either you or Jungkook, but whatever. The projectās almost over and heās almost finished with university entirely. āYou guys are just cute together, thatās all.ā
āLike you even know the half of it.ā You tell him with a roll of your eyes.Ā
Taehyung wiggles his eyebrows. āOoh, do tell.ā He grins that greasy, comic-book-villain grin of his as he starts moving his bar stools back to where the sheet lines his cream-colored wall.Ā
āIsnāt that the whole point of this?ā Jungkook poses, making you laugh from where youāre seated on the couch, watching Jungkook set up his tripod in exactly the place he wants it. You smile at him as you recline against Taehyungās poor old leather couch, so worn-down from use that the back cushions fold in when you press against them, and Jungkook peers out from behind the camera to blow you a kiss.Ā
You send him one back without even needing to think.Ā
Taehyung misses the whole scene, but no doubt heāll be putting two and two together pretty soon. You and Jungkook agreed that for the last interview you would be questioned together, long before Jungkook actually managed to romance you off your feet, and thereās not a doubt in your mind that the two of you being interviewed side-by-side will make things much more interesting.Ā
Nevertheless, Jungkook sets up the camera and sends a thumbs-up your way when heās ready, Taehyung sitting on the bar stool just outside of the frame with a couple of index cards in his hand.Ā
āLetās do this,ā you say, hauling yourself onto the seat. Jungkook does the same shortly after, scooching onto the one next to you as you stare at Taehyung, waiting for him to start.Ā
āLooking forward to this one?ā Taehyung asks knowingly.Ā
You shrug nonchalantly. āJust a little.ā
āExcellent. Shall we begin?ā
You and Jungkook nod.Ā
āAlright. Well, this is presumably the last thing the two of you will be filming for your project. How are you feeling about it?ā
āIt turned out better than I thought it would,ā you admit. It will come as a shock to no one that you did not have very high hopes for this project when it was first assigned.Ā
āOf course it did, Iām your partner,ā Jungkook teases, poking you in your side. āWould you ever doubt me?ā
āAlways,ā you say.
Taehyung chuckles. āSounds like itās been good so far. Did you enjoy filming it?ā
You nod. āYeah, it was actually kind of fun. Except for when Jungkook spilled coffee all over me, that was not cool.ā You turn to face Jungkook directly, and all he does when you say his name is wink and point at you.Ā
āIt was for the rom-com, I donāt know what you expected,ā Jungkook said. āI gave you my jacket, too.ā
āHow gentlemanly.ā
Taehyung chuckles, warm and low. āIām sure Jungkook learned his lesson,ā he muses. āWhat was your favorite thing to film?ā
Not when I randomly texted you five minutes before I showed up at your door to make you ask me questions about how I feel, you think to yourself. Jungkook still doesnāt know, but you think youāll put it into the movie just for the hell of it, so heāll find out then. Find out that you were grappling with your feelings for him long before you ever let on.
āThe serenade was a blast, a special shoutout to the Eighth Notes for doing that for me,ā Jungkook says immediately. Obviously that is at the top of his list. āPlus, I just like seeing Y/N all flustered.ā
āShut up, youāre so annoying,ā you chide. āI guess the serenade was kind of cute. I liked going out together, though. On our not-date.ā
Jungkook objects to that instantly. āIt was a date, Y/N!ā
You look back at him, equally as scandalized as he. āWhose turn is it to talk?ā
āMine, actually,ā Taehyung interjects. āDid you like going out together?ā
You sigh a little, wondering if youāre really about to turn into a softie in front of a camera for a movie to be shown to your twenty classmates and professor. āYeah,ā you say, real and true because thatās what you agreed on, you and Jungkook. To be candid. To be honest. To say how you felt. Really. āIt was really nice. I hadnāt gone out with someone like that in a long time.ā
āAnd were you happy because of the project, or because of Jungkook?ā
āWell,ā you begin, not exactly sure where to start. āI guess, itās likeā¦ you know, I didnāt even know Jungkook before this project. I mean, I knew who he was, he would always respond to my discussion board posts and object to everything I said in class. But I didnāt know him as a person. But as we worked on this project together, planning and filming and editing, I started to. And we did so many things together. And I guess I just really enjoyed the time we did spend as a pair.ā
āWould you say the same, Jungkook?ā
āYes,ā Jungkook says easily. āThatās what I wanted. To get to know Y/N, to spend time with her. I was glad we had this project. Otherwise, we might never have done something like this.ā
āYou both seem very happy.ā
āI think we are. This project was actually sort of a blessing in disguise. I know him a lot better, now,ā you say. āIām glad that I do. He makes me smile, and laugh, and I always feel happy when heās around. I donāt know. He did it, somehow.ā
āJungkook?ā
āIt wasnāt just me. Y/N and I did this together. We made this. This project. Us. It wasnāt just her, or just me. Itās ours.ā Jungkook grins.
āAre you glad you did this project?ā
Of course. It was fun, and I liked filming it, and I feel like I got something really important out of it. I know itās just a short rom-com mockumentary, but it really feels like there was a happy ending, you know? A happily ever after.ā
āYou seem really certain about that.ā
āWell,ā Jungkook says with a little scoff, āwhat else would you call it?ā
āAs you can see, obviously Y/N fell head over heels in love with me thanks to this wonderful projectāā
āWhy are you always so full of yourselfā?ā
āHey, youāre ruining the voiceover! As I said, as you can see, Y/N fell head over heels in love with me, but that wasnāt just because of my dashing good looks and amazing singing skills.ā
āThe ends of your hair look like hayāā
āIt was because we were honest with each other, and because we spent meaningful moments together, and because we kept our hearts open. And I guess thatās the truth of it all, isnāt it? Love, romance, relationships? If you close yourself off, youāll never get to experience them. But if you take every opportunity with an open mind, then you never know what might happen. Like falling in love with your discussion board nemesis.ā
āWho, me?ā
āJust let me finish, come on. Thereās like one paragraph left. I know this was a mockumentary, not a scripted rom-com with professional actors and screenwriters and a whole team of editors. But that was the whole point. To make it real. And to make it between two people who arenāt just characters on a screen. Weāre real people, and this happened to us. And it makes us happy. And it can happen to you, too. I think we all learn something every time we watch a new movie. Whether it be about loss, or promises, or other people. This time, we learned about love. Real love. How it can be rocky and strange and come straight out of left field. But also how happy endings arenāt just for movies and fairytales. We all deserve them. And Y/N and I found our own.ā
āAre you gonna say it?ā
āAnd soā¦ they lived happily ever after.ā
You look up at the screen, expecting to see the credits roll, but instead itās a shot of the two of you kissing outside of your apartment building, a shot of you wrapping your arms around him as you press your lips to his. It lasts for only a few seconds, but you find yourself entranced in the moment, shocked that Jungkook somehow managed to capture it on film. He didnāt even have his camera with him that night.Ā
Pollack turns on the lights in your classroom as your fellow classmates applaud, all of them looking genuinely pleased that your rom-com had such a wonderful ending. Pollack herself looks rather proud, nodding to herself as she smiles at the two of you.Ā
āYou filmed us kissing?ā You hiss to Jungkook as your classmates clap, hoping the sound of it will drown out your conversation.Ā
āI got Taehyung to,ā Jungkook whispers back. āWhy?ā
āI justā¦ I thought that night was just for us.ā
āThe rest of it is. But I thought the kiss would be a cute way to end it. You know, happy ending and everything.ā
Alright, if Jungkook insists. You nod, tensing up slightly. You hadnāt even noticed Taehyung down the street, standing behind some utility pole with the camera raised to his eye. Had Jungkook texted him in secret? Asked him to meet you outside of your apartment? Was he planning on kissing you from the very beginning?
You shake your head, willing away the thoughts as Pollack commends the two of you for a job well done. Jungkook and you stand at the front of the room for a few more seconds, getting stared down by your fellow classmates while Pollack speaks. The period ends just as she finishes up, the minutes changing the moment she closes her mouth. Within a minute or so, the whole class has emptied out, some of them congratulating you and Jungkook on the way out.Ā
āIāll meet you outside, okay?ā Jungkook says, eyes bright and filled with that same wonder heās always got.Ā
āYeah,ā you say distantly, nodding to him as he disappears out the door.Ā
āYou did an excellent job, Y/N,ā Pollack praises, and it goes right to your head, if youāre being honest. āIt was brilliant.ā
āThanks,ā you say, suddenly rather shy. āThat means a lot.ā
āDonāt tell anyone else this,ā she says, voice quiet, ābut I was secretly hoping the two of you would fall in love.ā
āPollack!ā
She laughs. āWhat? I thought youād make a cute couple. And you do, so clearly it all worked out anyway.ā
āIām pretty sure thatās against the code of conduct,ā you say, even though you know you canāt be too mad at her. After all, you wouldnāt have Jungkook if it werenāt for her.Ā
āY/N, Iām tenured. I donāt care.ā
āWaitā¦ā you pause, eyes narrowing, āhow many of your students have you set up with each other?ā
Pollack grins. āI never reveal my secrets.ā
Your mouth drops open.Ā
She chuckles, shooing you out the door. āGo on, go be with your boyfriend. You can tell him you both get A pluses for your project. It was excellent. One of the best Iāve seen in a very long time.ā
āThanks, Pollack,ā you say, smiling gratefully. āYouāre the best.ā
She points at you proudly as you head out the door. āSo are you.ā
Jungkook is waiting by the tables where you always sit, half a flight down from your classroom. Heās leaning against the edge of them as he scrolls mindlessly through his phone, so engrossed in the Instagram explore page that he doesnāt see you walk up.Ā
āGuess what,ā you say, getting all up in his face, just because you can.Ā
āWhat,ā Jungkook says, an eyebrow raised.Ā
āWe got an A plus on our project!ā You exclaim happily, cheering. Jungkook laughs at your exuberant reaction, watches as you jump around, clapping loudly.Ā
āHell yeah, we did that!ā Jungkook holds his hand up for a high five, one you gladly take. Your palms smack together and the sound reverberates around the hallway.Ā
āYou know, you and Iāā you begin, placing your palms on his cheeks as you pull yourself in for a kiss, āwe make a pretty good team.ā
āOnly because youāre so good at editing,ā Jungkook says. Youāre both not too bad, if you do say so yourself, but since Jungkook did so much of the filming you thought it would be better if you carried more of the weight when it came to post-production.Ā
āSays you,ā you tease, pressing your lips to his button nose. āThe happy ending thing was a nice touch, I liked it. Makes me feel like Iām in a fairy tale.ā
āIām glad,ā Jungkook says with a chuckle, admiring the way you beam at him. āYou know, I was really worried that you might think we didnāt have a happy ending after all, especially after everything.ā
āWhat do you mean?ā You look at him curiously.Ā
āWell, I just really wanted to make sure that we had a happy ending, because youāve been through so much.ā
You pause in place, eyebrows furrowing as you look up at him. Been through so much? Does Jungkook know something you donāt? Wait, no, did youā¦ did you tell himā?
āYou knew?ā You ask, the realization piercing you like an arrow. āAll this time, and you never said anything?ā
Jungkookās eyes widen.Ā
āHow long have you known?ā
He winces. āSince I walked you home when you were drunk. You told me.ā
You did?
Shit.
āAnd you didnāt think that maybe you should have told me that you knew? Especially when I asked you if I had said anything embarrassing?ā You cry out, indignant. āWhat, were you just planning on never telling me?ā
āI was going to, but I wasnāt sure if you wanted to know that you had admitted all those things to me,ā Jungkook admits, growing desperate. āThey were really personal things, I thought you might react badly.ā
āOh, so you just decided to keep it a secret instead? Look how well that worked out.ā
āWhat was I supposed to do, Y/N? I know you would have been upset.ā
āTell me!ā You exclaim. āI asked you if I had said something embarrassing that night and you said I hadnāt. And I believed you. Better to have known then than now!ā
āIām sorry,ā Jungkook says.
āI canāt believe you wouldnāt just tell me. Didnāt we say we would be honest with each other? But instead, you just let me assume that all of the nice things you did for me were because you actually cared, and not because you felt bad for me?ā
āI donāt feel bad for you!ā Jungkook shouts. āI mean, I do, but thatās not why I took you out on dates and gave you flowers and held your hand. I do care about you.ā
āOh, so filming us kissing was just because you actually cared, too, right?ā
āI donāt know why youāre so hung up about that,ā Jungkook points out.Ā
āBecause I thought it was a private moment,ā you remind him. āYou hadnāt filmed anything the whole night. I thought we were just going out on a date like two people who cared about each other did. Us kissing was personal. But you texted Taehyung and told him to show up with his camera anyway, right? Because you were planning on kissing me from the very beginning. Because you knew, Jungkook. You knew and you had absolutely no intention of telling me.ā
āY/N, wait, I didnāt do those things just because I pitied you,ā Jungkook says, reaching out for your hand.Ā
You pull away. āYou didnāt? Then why did you film us kissing, then?ā
āBecauseā¦ā he flounders. You arenāt at all surprised. āBecauseāā
āEnough, Jungkook. I get it,ā you stop him, shaking your head. āEverything weāve done since that first date we had, when we went to the Italian place, everything since thenāit was all played up. Because you felt bad for me. I had a shitty experience with love and you wanted to make me feel better. Whatever.ā
āY/N, it wasnāt like that,ā Jungkook chases after you as you begin to walk down the stairs, towards the exit. āI didnāt pity you. I still donāt. I did those things because I care about you, and I wanted you to be happy.ā
āWell, you got what you wanted,ā you say, arms crossed over your shoulders as you push your way out the door. āI was so happy when I was with you.ā
āWait, Y/Nāā
āBye, Jungkook.ā
The door slams shut behind you.Ā
āHow many finals do you still have left? You finished your movie, right?ā
Ruby is stirring herself a cup of earl grey tea as she sits down on the couch next to you, where youāre very obviously sulking as you scroll through the Feel Good Rom-Coms category on Netflix.Ā
āI just have a couple essays and a presentation,ā you mumble out. āYou?ā
āUgh, I still have all of my final exams to take,ā Ruby tells you with a thick, heavy sigh. Clearly, she doesn't feel like talking about them now. Or at all. āThe life of a biology major.ā
āHey, youāre the one who wants to be a doctor, not me,ā you remind her crudely. āYou better know your shit, or Iām never taking my kids to your practice.ā
āRude,ā Ruby says. āThere goes my family and friends discount offer.ā
You laugh to yourself, a small smile inching its way across your lips. Rubyās always known how to brighten your day, even when you feel like absolute shit.Ā
āWhat are we watching, hmm? Iām cool with anything.ā
āI donāt know.ā You shrug, flicking through all of the rom-com options and feeling very unhappy with all of them. āI feel like youāve seen all of these.ā
āYeah,ā Ruby says. āWhenever Iām not studying, Iām watching Netflix or The Bachelor.ā
You nod. Maybe youāll just settle on some old NCIS reruns and call it a night.Ā
āOh!ā Ruby exclaims suddenly, a lightbulb going off above her head. āHow about we watch your movie? The rom-com you did with Jungkook! I havenāt seen it yet.ā
āI donāt knowā¦ā You begin, the mere thought putting a bad taste in your mouth. For obvious reasons.Ā
āCome on, please? I really want to see it, you were so excited about it,ā Ruby begs, getting all antsy as she climbs all over you, literally pulling your arm to get you to cave in. āItās short, too, isnāt it? Like forty-five minutes long? We can watch whatever you want afterwards. Please.ā
You huff out a breath. If it were up to you, you would move that film onto a flash drive and toss it into a dumpster on fire. But itās not just up to you. Ruby has been asking you about it since the day you told her you were filming it, and now all she wants to do is see the final result. And itās only forty-five minutes long. Whatās that when compared to the rest of your life?
āFine,ā you relent, not wanting to fight about it any longer. āLet me get my computer.ā
Ruby cheers.Ā
You bring your laptop over to your coffee table, turning off the ceiling lights as Ruby tucks herself underneath a blanket, hands warmed by her steaming cup of tea. You pull up the movie file and, taking a deep breath, press play.Ā
It opens with your first interview with Taehyung, a muted, royalty-free lo-fi hip-hop song playing in the background. You had edited it so that it would jump back and forth between your answer and Jungkookās, highlighting the contrast between the two of you. It was mostly for comedic purposes, just because seeing you deadpan about how love doesnāt exist and then quickly switching to Jungkook wax poetic about it is amusing, but watching it now just makes you want to curl into yourself.Ā
You should have known that this would have never worked out. Should have kept that same jaded attitude. You let your guard down for one second and look at whatās happened to you.
The next scene that Jungkook shows is, of course, the moment he spills burning hot coffee all over you in the middle of the Starbucks, comedically panning up to your positively-flabbergasted face just to add to the shock factor. Next to you, Ruby laughs at the mishap, obviously amused by the fact that the two of you are now drenched in coffee and scrambling to clean up the mess. You try to focus your energy on how peeved you were at Jungkook after he did that, but get distracted the moment he films himself wrapping his denim jacket around you, placing it over your shoulders and making sure itās just right.Ā
He didnāt have to do that, and the two of you both knew it. But still, he sent you off your class all bundled up in a jacket that smelled like him, smelled of that boyish aroma that you couldnāt get rid of, even when you put it in the wash with your lavender detergent. All of Jungkookās clothes smelt like that no matter how much cologne he put on, always smelt woody and thick. It would consume you, that scent, a cloud surrounding your figure whenever you were near him.Ā
The movie keeps playing, and you keep thinking about how much of a fool you must look like in it now, all giggles and smiles as Jungkook sings Frankie Valli to you while he hands you a rose, that same sly little smile dotting his features. Hearing the song again makes you feel like youāre choking, like somethingās smothering you, and youāre not sure what it is until you realize that itās the sound of Jungkookās voice.Ā
You havenāt heard him sing since he serenaded you.Ā
Then itās your first date, the one Ruby told you to wear the yellow dress to (āHey, I told you you looked amazing in it! Wow!ā Ruby exclaims when she sees you). You remember when you edited this, putting the clips together of you eating at the restaurant, wandering around the park, posing underneath the trees, holding hands. You were smiling so hard your cheeks hurt while you were editing, grinning from ear to ear at all of the things the two of you did together. They were so picturesque, those scenes, so perfectly shot, so romanticiāt did a fine job of convincing you that it was all real.Ā
You even put in the little clip of you and Taehyung talking. A mistake, now that you look back on it, of course. It was so vulnerable, so real, so candid and honest like you said you would be, and now itās all blown up in your face. You must have looked like such an idiot to Jungkook when he saw this scene for the first time in class. You remember the wide-eyed look on his face when it popped up. Like he couldnāt even believe you had done this in the first place.Ā
Scoffing, you shake your head. You either.Ā
The rest of it you can hardly bear to watch. Just a wrap-up of your relationship, a compilation of all of the small moments you shared when you didnāt realize that Jungkook was filming, when you dared whip out your camera to shoot for a second or two. Little clips that jump from scene to scene, shots of you laughing and eating and skipping along campus as you held hands. Itās hard to reconcile the fact that itās all over.Ā
You donāt even listen to the final interview, not bothering to pay attention to what you or Jungkook have to say when you were there, when you can recall every word heās ever spoken to you at the drop of a hat.Ā
The truth is, you were always a goner for him.Ā
And look how well that played out.Ā
By the time the kissing scene comes up once more, youāre ready to set your whole laptop alight.Ā
The screen turns black as it ends, fading away into nothingness, the instrumental slowly disappearing alongside the image. You shut your laptop when itās all over, a little too angry for your own good, but you wrestle the scowl off your face as you take a drink of water from the glass sitting on the table.Ā
āWow,ā Ruby says, speechless. She blinks at your closed laptop.Ā
āDid you like it?ā
āIāI donāt even know what to say,ā Ruby says, which is a first. āIt was amazing, Y/N. Seriously. Gorgeous. Like, cinematographically? Stunning. The shit on Netflix isnāt even as good as that.ā
Even if you did have to sit through your stupid movie one more time, the compliments make you feel a bit better. āThanks,ā you murmur.Ā
Ruby nods enthusiastically. āIt was incredible. Iām justāIām in awe. You and Jungkook have a gift, dude. It was seriously one of the best things Iāve watched in a really long time. And, like, not even in a cheesy, yucky rom-com kind of way. It was soā¦ so genuine. So real. Wow.ā
āIām glad you liked it.ā
āYouāll have to tell Jungkook, too,ā Ruby says. āHe did really well.ā
āYeah, heās a great actor,ā you say, a little too bitterly for your own good.Ā
āWhat do you mean?ā Ruby raises an eyebrow your way. āI didnāt think he was acting at all. It looked pretty real to me.ā
You frown. āIt did?ā
āI mean, yeah,ā Ruby says with an honest nod. āI mean, you did tell me it was a mockumentary and not just a run-of-the-mill rom-com. So wasnāt everything supposed to be real, anyway?ā
āYesā¦ā you trail off, unsure of the direction of this conversation.
āWell, if you ask me,ā Ruby says, all matter-of-factly, āIād say he definitely fell in love with you.ā
Something rushes through you. Something warm and bright and full of energy.Ā
Hope.Ā
Even though you have finished one of your finals early, finals week is still just as much of a slog as it always is. Three essays and two presentations deep, you arenāt finished any of them and the due dates are slowly creeping up on you, ready to pounce the moment the clock strikes twelve.Ā
Eh, it could be worse. You could be Ruby and have six timed, proctored final exams on biology, anatomy, and chemistry. So you suppose you canāt complain too much.Ā
Finals week sees you all holed up in your apartment like always, but more so this semester than any previous ones because you donāt feel like going to the library and risking seeing Jungkook there. Or anywhere, really. Since you presented on the last day of classes, you havenāt spoken since, and hopefully you can keep that streak going forever. You had made it until this semester without ever crossing paths despite being in the same major, so hopefully that luck will follow you.Ā
Itās almost midnight when you finally decide to call it quits for the night, having at least gotten mostly through two of your essays (just have to edit and proofread!) and worked on about half of your two presentations. Sighing, you get up from your couch and stretch, feeling your bones crack from sitting in the same place for hours on end.Ā
You lean over to the floor lamp by the edge of the couch, ready to flick it off and head to bed, when you hear something outside.Ā
āYouāre just too good to be trueā¦ā
āCanāt take my eyes off of youā¦ā
You freeze.
The voice is soft and mellow, a little muted because itās making its way through your wooden door before it reaches your ears, but it is unrecognizable. Even without the acoustics of the Eighth Notes, you know whoās on the other side.Ā
āYouād be like Heaven to touchā¦ā
āI wanna hold you so muchā¦ā
āAt long last, love has arrivedā¦ā
āAnd I thank God Iām aliveā¦ā
Unable to resist, you wander to your front door, basking in the sound of him, in the way the notes float through the air as if on clouds, dancing along the walls as they sink into your brain. He sounds so sweet, voice warm like tea on a cold night, just singing his song on this empty, lonely night. But itās not just his song, is it?Ā
Itās yours, too.
You pull open the door.Ā
āYouāre just too good to be true,ā Jungkook sings, a honeyed melody that calms the waves of your stormy heart, ācanāt take my eyes off of youā¦ā
But just because heās here, serenading you once more, doesnāt mean heās going to get it any easier from you. You fight to keep the smile off your face, pressing your lips together as you narrow your eyes at him.Ā
āI love you, baby, and if itās quite alright, I need you, baby, to warm the lonely nightā¦ā
āI love you, baby, trust in me when I sayā¦ā
He meets your eyes with his own, and they arenāt glinting in the way they normally do, the way that they do when he knows heās doing something to grind your gears, when heās got a trick up his sleep. They gleam like pearls as the dim glow of your apartment lights up his figure, warm yellow mixing with the caramel in his irises.
āOh, pretty baby, donāt bring me down, I prayā¦ā
Oh, pretty baby, now that Iāve found you, stayā¦ā
āAnd let me love you, babyā¦ā
From behind him, Jungkook brings out a single red rose, twirling it between his fingers as he holds it out to you.Ā
āLet me love youā¦ā He trails off there, voice delicate as vanishes into the chilly night air, disappearing between the two of you.Ā
You canāt help but take the flower from his hand. What else are you supposed to do?
āSo?ā Jungkook asks, hopeful.Ā
āDonāt think you can just show up at my apartment and woo me back by singing to me,ā you chide, even though he definitely can.Ā
āIām sorry,ā Jungkook says simply, because there really is nothing else to say. āI should have told you.ā
āI watched our rom-com again,ā you tell him. āI should have believed you when you said you cared about me.ā
āI always did,ā Jungkook says. āI just wanted you to know that love was real, and that it was there for you.ā
āI should have known,ā you agree. You look up at Jungkook through lidded eyes, musing to yourself. āYou know what I learned?ā
Jungkook tilts his head in curiosity. āWhat?ā
āThat love isnāt a feeling. Itās a person,ā you explain, sighing pleasantly. āLove comes to us through the things we share with other people. Thatās what it is.ā Your thumbs twiddle in front of you, the pads of your fingers rubbing at the stem of the rose.
He takes a single step forward, reaching out to take your hand in his own. āAnd are you pleased with who youāve found?ā
You roll your eyes. āJust shut up and kiss me already, you idiot.ā
Jungkook obliges without a second thought.Ā
There is no one to film you this time, no project to work on. There is only you, and there is only him. And there is only a lifetime that the two of you share, a story that you have told together, piece by piece, frame by frame. Your movie didnāt end once you finished editing. Nor did it end the moment the screen went black in Pollackās class. It wasnāt even over when you watched it a second time with Ruby.Ā
No, it continues on. Forever and ever, so long as you are with him. There will always be something new to capture, to burn into a disk so youāll have it for eternity.
He pulls you in for a kiss and itās not the end of the film. Itās the beginning of a brand new part, a new installment in the series that is your life with him. That is the relationship you have created together. His lips arenāt the fireworks as the credits roll. They are the scene where the two characters meet for the very first time and know that they were meant to be. The scene that sets all of the other ones in motion. That is who Jungkook is. That is what you are sharing, right now.Ā
A brand new frame.Ā
When you part, you press your forehead against his, soft blonde locks framing his face as they tickle your face, dancing along the skin of your cheeks.
āYou called it a rom-com,ā Jungkook points out randomly, just remembering now.Ā
āWell, isnāt it?ā
āI donāt knowā¦ā Jungkook says, pretending to think about it as he rocks on the back of his feet. āDid it have a happy ending?ā
You bring your lips to his once more, arms wrapped around his neck as you clasp the rose between your fingers. You make a mental note to press it later. Something else to remember him by. Something other than your movie.Ā
Jungkook pulls you into him once more, hands resting firmly on your waist, letting his body press against yours as you stand there in the muted light of your apartmentās living room, letting the cool spring breeze wash over you. You smile against his lips, feeling your heart race when he grins back.Ā
āYes,ā you declare proudly.Ā
And so, they lived happily ever after.Ā
ā³ thanks for reading! donāt forget to let me know if you enjoyed it!
#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#bts fluff#bts angst#bts scenario#jungkook scenario#bts imagine#jungkook imagine#bts au#jungkook au#jungkook college au#jungkook x reader#bts x reader#w: the art of the rom com#dudes this fic is so long my keyboard is lagging HAHAHA
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I wish people would let go of this absurd notion that Marc Spector doesn't speak Spanish and wouldn't be able to understand Jake. Where do they think Jake even learned Spanish in the first place if not his own house? Why would Marc not be able to speak it? He is literally Latino! He knows how to speak Arabic, why wouldn't he know how to speak his mother language?? Steven too for that matter. Anyway, sorry to bother you. Just needed to get this off my chess.
HONESTLY!!!! ššš«
Whenever people says Marcās not Latino it makes me so sad. Like not to play the āitās giving me racism,ā but like I donāt know else Iām supposed to interpret it. The casting director went out of their way to cast an all latine cast for little MK, teen MK and MKās family. If the show producers wanted MK to just be āāmystery brownāā(which in itself is problematic as it erases MKās indigeneity) they would have casted anyone of any ethnicity who looked like Oscar Isaac. After over a decade, we finally get an indigenous Latino actor playing a leading role just for people to be like Marc(the body) is just American and Jake is the āSpanish one.ā
Also, it does back to people not really understanding DID and thinking it is some kind of superpower. The body needs to learn a skill in order for an alter to know a skill. It way more believable that MKās family spoke Spanish at home and thatās where Jake learned it from than Jake just being the alter who paid attention in High School Spanish class. I was a Spanish major, I had many non-native professors and classmates with excellent Spanish skills, who studied abroad, who knew Spanish better than I do but they still speak it with an American accent. Do people really believe Jake was out there meeting with a dialect coach so that he can learn how to speak Spanish with a native accent? Really?
Also also! If MKās family did speak Spanish at home and the body has that foundation for Marc and Steven to know Arabic and French. Apparently, Arabic is easier to learn as a Spanish speaker compared to an English speaker, and French and Spanish are both romance languages.
I would understand if Marc has a preference for English, doesnāt speak Spanish perfectly and/or is triggered by Spanish because he associates Spanish with violence and trauma. But in doing that, it inherently ties Spanish with Latinidad and while I know and empathize with people who do have a complicated relationship with their cultural identity because of family trauma, I donāt think (yt) fanfic writers should just use this as an easy out for miscommunication. Iād be most interested to see someone explore Marcās complicated relationship with his Latino heritage, learning to separate it from his identity from his mother and learning to love that side of him as well but only if itās written by a Latine author who able to give it the proper nuance.
#Also donāt apologize itās my favorite topic#moon knight#marc spector#steven grant#jake lockley#usaigi speaks#asks#usaigi meta
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so has it been confirmed that the kid is jackie and kelso's? ugh that is so annoying. i know the actors are married but they didnt need to incorporate that in the show and apparently be on their 2/3rd marriage?!? this 90s show is gonna be worse than season 8 - i'll have to act like it doesnt exist
According to all the public chatter on social media from people who have scripts to people who've gone to tapings, yeah.
T7S was originally going to end with season 7, and the original ending had Hyde proposing to Jackie. Anything that diverges from that characterization, for me, isn't canon. But Iām one person. Other people can reasonably disagree.
Real-world stuff shouldn't dictate the lives of fictional characters. Fictional characters exist outside of whoever portrays them. Hamlet from Shakespeare's Hamlet has been played by thousands upon thousands of actors for centuries, and he's always Hamlet regardless. Jackie and Hyde's trajectory, as established in eighty-six episodes of the show (especially in seasons 5-7; see my post Jackie's Relationship Stats for more) was them being endgame for the long haul.
Jackie and Kelso were totally over. And, quite frankly, Kelso and Brooke would've stayed together (according to their characters and story arcs). Since Brooke's portrayer left the show / was let go, Brooke left Point Place. No way the show was going to write off Kelso to join her, but the writers could've written more imaginatively and kept that relationship going -- and given Kelso storylines that weren't romantic or sexual in nature. That would've added a lot more complexity to his character. We'd had six seasons of storylines with his sexual and romantic shenanigans. Give him something else to do (like continuing to work on his career).
My fidelity is to the characters, character development, and character / story consistency. I've watched other shows where ships of mine died, but I had no trouble accepting the end of those relationships (despite hating that they ended) because it made story sense.
On T7S, the breakup of Eric and Donna at the end of season 3 is a great example of plants and payoffs. The setup for their breakup is done excellently throughout season 3. That development also has hints in season 2. So by the time of "The Promise Ring" (3x25), Eric and Donna's motivations are clearly established by many previous episodes.
Each episode of season 3 where Eric/Donna have a significant storyline (A or B) builds Eric's growing insecurity at Donna's growing independence, which becomes a vicious circle. The more insecure Eric becomes, the more he acts on it. The more he acts on it, the more independence Donna wrests from Eric, to the point where she becomes passive-aggressive toward him -- leading Eric to trying to get a guarantee from Donna that they have a future together, which makes Donna feel imprisoned by his need for that guarantee.
They've become incompatible due to Eric's inability to accept that Donna wants her relationship with him to be part of her life, not her life, and Donna's fear of a romantic relationship depriving her of having a life outside that relationship (which stems from her mom's struggles with her dad in that regard).
I ship Eric/Donna, too. That breakup was upsetting enough that I stopped watching the show consistently when season 4 originally aired. When I saw the commercial for "Going to California" (5x01) and saw that E/D were reuniting (and that J/H were finally getting together romantically), T7S became a must-see again.
But even if Eric and Donna hadn't reconciled, I would've (begrudgingly and sadly) accepted it because it would've made story sense. In fact, their reconciliation is badly written and doesn't make much story sense -- except for Donna's realization at the end of season 4 that she truly is in love with Eric and allowed fear to control her.
Their reconciliation in season 5, however, doesn't deal with what led to their breakup. So while Donna finally understood the depth of her love for Eric and refused to allow her parents' broken relationship to dictate her own, Eric is never held accountable by the writers (through any of the characters, including himself) for his attempts to control her and why.
Another, perhaps even more significant example. I shipped Jackie and Hyde starting from "Kelso's Serande" (2x21). The ending of "Jackie Bags Hyde" (3x08) was incredibly disappointing to me as a shipper. But story-wise, it made sense. It was setup properly. Hyde had clearly developed romantic feelings for Jackie, but once Jackie's fantasy becomes real through their kiss, it breaks. Her idolization of Hyde is done, as is her projection onto him for her emotional needs.
She recognizes that she was never chasing Hyde but trying to chase out the fear and loneliness Kelso's betrayal of her had created.
That being said, she obviously had developed platonic affection for Hyde after everything he'd done for her since "Prom Night" (1x19). Although T7S does no work to connect J/H's S1-S3 relationship to their S5 relationship, one can reasonably read subtext into it.
Hyde is absolutely harboring romantic feelings for Jackie from "Jackie Bags Hyde" on. Evidence of this (regardless of writer intention) exists in episodes that follow in S3, and throughout S4 J/H exhibit a comfort and closeness with each other they hadn't before (physical, not sexual, and in general). Adding those two significant factors to J/H's relationship-developing storylines in S1-S3, their romance beginning in S5 makes story sense. Their lying to themselves about it being a fling makes character sense.
Again, I don't have to like a certain storyline to accept it as canon. Hopefully the above is enough to explain why (without me going deep into writing technique and the elements of storytelling, lol).
#That 70s Show#That '90s Show#Jackie x Hyde#Eric x Donna#That '70s Show#Spoilers#Ask#Anon#My Meta#My Essay#That 90s Show
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Darren has been a long-time pal of Glen Powell, he met him both through Chord Overstreet, as these two have been pals and roomies at times, but also because Glen broke through on Ryan Murphyās Scream Queens. Chord has the large Nashville, Tennessee family with a deep country music legacy, while Glenās huge extended family is from Austin, Texas (the more artsy and liberal part of Texas) and loves the movie-making business. The two southern boys in RMās stable became pals, and they both became friends with Darren. They support one anotherās efforts.
We have gotten at least one set of photos of Darren, Chord and Glen together in an apartment in NYC in years past, so I suspect they shared expenses at some point while they worked on various projects for RM and others. Actors donāt make that much to throw it away on expensive rentals. These guys were friends with Glen when he was on his way up, and they were the bigger stars, so now that Glen has broken through big-time on Top Gun, he is sharing some of his new-found power to create his own projects. He has a strong family support system behind him, and Glen, his friends, and his family as well as his co-workers ALL seem to be working in tandem to hitch to his star right now and propel him forward. That includes all aspects of this production, which sold to Netflix and is getting high praise from the industry.
Darren, along with Glenās sister and other friends and family, appears to have worked various on-set jobs behind the camera on Hit Man when it filmed in New Orleans. We got some instagram posts about it at the time, though we didnāt know what it was for, exactly. They possibly all served as extras in scenes at various points. Glenās whole family probably is in that movie somewhere. NOLA is a great place for film tax incentives, one of the top 5 in the U.S., Ryan Murphy filmed Scream Queens there at Tulane University, (filmed AHS-Coven there, too) and itās not that far from Texas and his family.
Glen apparently found this true story, optioned the story from the writer, co-wrote a great script based on the idea, and developed it with Richard Linklater, one of many directors he wanted to work with in his career, and helped produce the movie as well as starring in it. It has been well-received and well-reviewed all around and should be a big boost to his career as a rising star with some real power going forward. In some ways, it looks like he is taking on the young Matthew McConaughey mantle, (nothing is new in Hollywood, everyone is a ātypeā to the moneymen), and it would be cool, and a great p.r. move for both, if they worked together on something in the near future as McConaughey, too, is talking of moving back to his home state. There has been talk of MM running for Governor one day.
While I am not particularly a fan of Glenās acting or looks, though plenty are, I really admire his hustle and his smarts, especially the kudos he is getting for the excellent script. He and Darren seem to have a similar work ethic. He is leaning in heavily on both his Texas roots and his family ties, which is a huge part of his charm, and is moving back home (and away from Hollywood and NYC) at his momās request. This will set him apart from other actors, and keep him real (as opposed to phoney influencer type) in the eyes of fans. He knows his brand, smart, sexy, funny, interested in all levels of the creative process itself, and his family is all over his social media, cheering him on but also forever making fun of him as the big movie star so he does not get full of himself. I think the whole thing is brilliant.
Don't know why Darren is in one of the pictures. Maybe he visited the set?
amandalaurena: I canāt believe itās been a year and half since we wrapped production on HIT MAN...what is time?! I remember exactly where I was sitting, in the middle of the pandemic, when Glen came across this Texas Monthly Article. It was so cool to witness every single step of this process from acquiring the IP, drafting the script, casting talent, rehearsals, shooting, and finally witnessing the final final product at the Austin Premiere a few days ago. This film is really something. Funny, witty, thought provoking, and super sexy. Iām so proud to have been a part of this one and REALLY excited for the whole world to fall madly in love with it. Oh, and if you look closely you may just see a familiar face in the background of a scene or two ;) HIT MAN will be in select theaters on May 24th & available on Netflix starting June 7th! š¬āØ#hitman #netflix #film #premiere #glenpowell #richardlinklater
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Pardon the intrusion!! I might be giving away my age here š but what is anticanon, wishcanon, crackcanon, cherrycanon and probacanon? :0 Very curious
*laughs* No worries at all!! ^^
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Canon ā Things explicitly shown/stated in the source material. (Sam Winchester knows a lot about plants and can shoot a gun. Joe Morelliās car blew up and nearly took Janet with it)
Apocrypha Canon/Authorial Intent ā Things explicitly stated by the creators of the source material to be canon, but did NOT show up, or was not made clear, in the canon material. (Dumbledore being homosexual, the identity and location of several of the clans in Gargoyles, etc).
Cherrycanon ā cherry picking parts from canon that you enjoy. Usually applied to the older fandoms that have multiple timelines/canons (such as Transformers, where you have the 80s toon, 80s comic, IDW etc. Having Nooroo be female as she is in the Korean dub, rather than how he is male in most of the other dubs) but can apply to any source material. Often seen in conjunction with Anticanon.
Anticanon ā A fan idea/canon that is contradicted by canon or outright breaks/ignores canon. Breaking or ignoring either a single or small number of canon events or elements but otherwise holding true to canon. A minor character death is ignored. That really, REALLY, stupid line that you feel was totally OOC wasnāt said, that canon fact that contradicts common sense or other canon totally is dropped. (āOh everyone Goliath and company ran into was totally speaking English on the World Tourā and āthey totally spoke modern English in 900s SCOTLANDā. NOPE. Nope nope nopiety nopenopenope)
Probacanon ā Things that are IMPLIED by the source materialās creators but not stated outright, apparently comes from the creators but is not from a fully trusted/verifiable source, and/or that have so much evidence supporting them and nothing at all that contradicts them that they very well may BE canon, but it is not outright stated or shown to be canon in the source material or by the creators. Note that if this is contradicted or debunked by ANY of the creative team such as producers, actors, artists, writers, etcā¦ IT IS NOT PROBACANON. It doesnāt matter how popular the theory is or how much you want it to be canon, if it is negated in any way it is headcanon/fanon/AU. (Prowl and Smokescreen being Praxians due to mold-sharing with Bluestreak. Ninoās family being from Reunion, from Astrucās twitter page. Also the Ninoās family being from Morocco, which only has a screenshot of a privately answered tumblr-mail, which some fans consider non-verifiable. Conversly, Destiel, which has had members of the creative team debunk it over the years, is NOT probacanon and instead is headcanon/fanon/crackcanon/AU depending on who you askā¦ and please note I SHIP Destiel and really love said ship.)
FanworkCanon ā Things explicitly shown/stated in a fanwork series, making it canon THERE. (Alyaās father was a Nurse, Juleka likes music and is good with computers/coding, Rose wants to paint everything in Paris pink, etc. are examples of FanworkCanon in my series) Many things that are my headcanons/etc for the series are FanworkCanon for obvious reasons.
Headcanon ā a fan created theory that is both NOT contradicted in anyway by canon and is at least partially supported by canon/apocrypha. (The Thunderbirds being numbered in order of construction)
Wishcanon ā a fan created theory that is NOT contradicted by canon, but is not necessarily supported by canon/apocryphaā¦ and the rules for ānot contradictedā are a wee bit more lax. Things you wish were in the show/canon but are not moored in anyway to canon. ie: not supported. Although if it is CONTRADICTED by canon it become an anticanon(Marinette, while excelling at combat games, is actually average-at-best at other game types, such as RPG)
Fanon ā a fan created theory/headcanon/wishcanon/anticanon that is so popular/well known that it is often mistaken for, or treated like, canon.
Crackcanon ā I know itās not gonna happen, YOU know itās not gonna happen and itās completely left fieldā¦ but good lord is it FUNNY and silly and soooooo much fun.
#Old School Fandom terminology#which I still prefer#to headcanon meaning everything and anything#^^;;
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This Week in BL
March 2021 Part 4
Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.Ā
This is a LONG ONE, itās been A WEEK everyone.Ā
Ongoing Series - Thai
Lovely Writer Ep 5 - a little slow this week, but at least Gene finally flirted back, and very cute flirting it was, too. Also we got Aeyās motivation, background, and love interest. Thank goodness for that.Ā
Brothers Ep 8 - still pants, what can I say? Clearly I am a BL masochist. Very embarrassing for everyone concerned.Ā
1000 Stars Ep 9 - the conflict over Tianās father was REALLY well done. The plot of this drama is excellent, the leads are great together, and yes I totally cried. What, you didnāt?Ā
Ongoing Series - Not Thai
Word of Honor (China) Ep 16-18 - big battle fighty fighty stabby stabby. Ep 17 switches to āthis drama isnāt big enough for two chaotic-neutral godlings!ā So what do they do? Drink together and bicker... A LOT. Then in Ep 18 we all get the dubious joy of really freaky puppets. (I HATE puppets.) Also how is China letting this be so SO VERY VERY GAY?Ā Also, I wanna walk through the forest wearing a smanshy purple robe and waving a big fuck-off white fan around simply because Iām a pretentious fuss monger. And frankly, I feel like this is an achievable life goal for me.Ā
We Best Love 2 (Taiwan) Ep 4 - not gonna lie, this is looking to be one of my top 3 BLs of 2021. Itās SO GOOD. Big bonus to this ep for treating stalker behavior like the mental illness it is and not as some dumb representation of enduring love.Ā
TheĀ Most Peaceful PlaceĀ is My Place (Vietnam) Ep 1 - finally dropped (find it underĀ NĘ I BĆNH YĆN NHįŗ¤T LĆ Vį» BĆN EMĀ on O2ā²s channel). Itās got actors already comfortable with BL and looks pretty good so far. An angry tsundere uke reunited with his ex, a stoic chef, giving us lots of snap, crackle, and pop out the gate.Ā
Dear Uranus (Taiwan GL)Ā Ep 2 - I want to love it, but it is just moving too fast. Thereās not enough character dev and then theyāre throwing flashbacks in? It feels like a treatment rather than a show, and a rushed treatment at that. Bummer.Ā
HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 2 (AKA Ep 3-4) - let the cheesy popcorn continue! Idiot remains an idiot; ingenue remains an ice queen; nice gay guy remains nice and gay; obsessive stalker brother is getting ever more whackadoddle. Of course these last two have the best chemistry. (Itās caregiver codependency and the salvation trope. We got us a Leo/Fiat situation going on.ā) Plus lots of classic BL tropes because OF COURSE there are lots of tropes.Ā
Occasionally, I am tempted to argue that shows like H4 or Cherry Magic or Ossanās Love arenāt technically BL because of the office setting and age of the protags - but then they all behave like high school students anyway, so *shrug*Ā
Stand Alones
Cute little Taiwanese micro BL Friend or LoverĀ dropped, about bisexual realization within a friendship group. Normally these are too short for me, but this one did pretty good with its 15 minutes of charm, plus itās abad boy + shy softy pairing.Ā
Breaking News - Thai BL
Fish Upon the Sky released its actual trailer. The upside-down kiss is gone, which makes everyone sad, and it seems far less rivals to lovers than the first iteration, which makes ME sad. But it still looks good and a more classic BL than GMMTV has given us in a while. New trailer focused more on the makeover trope and theyāve upped Mixās role (the object of everyoneās affection) now that heās proved himself. (Or they are using him more to carry the trailer since he has a fan base form 1k*). Starts April 9 on GMMTV in 1K*ās time slot, probably with a 10 ep run.Ā
2gether the movieĀ is apparently coming April 22 to Thai theaters. F4 Thailand must be having issues or GMMTV just wants to milk the BrightWin cash cow. Itās rumored to be a combination of 2gehter + Still 2gether with some extra scenes and ending. Also, one assumes a lot will be cut out, if itās movie length.
Call It What You WantĀ released its updated trailer. If anything, it looks more scary than before. What are we in for? April 9th.Ā
NitimanĀ got a release date, May 7 on One31.Ā
I Told Sunset About You 2 got an updated release date of May 27 on LineTV.Ā
Second Chance the series is coming to LineTV on March 29. I donāt know much about this one. Tons of familiar faces (mostly TharnType side dishes) and some nice looking new talent but a dearth of eng subs. I think it may take on Brothersā time slot. Line did eng subs forĀ Brothers so maybe they will do 2nd ChanceĀ too?Ā
Close Friend the series is coming April 22. This is a combination of 6 couples with 6 story arcs as music videos (maybe)? Itās an epic fan service with familiar faces like OhmFluke (UWMA), MaxNat (LBC also in Y-Destiny), YoonLay (YYY also in Y-Destiny), KimCop (GenY), and JaFirst (TT2).
Y-DestinyĀ starts March 30, and has starting dropping coupleās trailers. Iām still suspicious given the director but it seems like there is plot (or plots) and a theme. Looks to be a series of 7 single ep vignettes (amended, see comments, might be 2 eps each for 14 eps total), different couple each time, some with supernatural elements, all with decent chemistry and acting chops.Ā
SunĀ MaxNatās tutor/studentĀ arc
MonĀ jaded rich kid meets poor innocentĀ Ā
Tues sports romance enemies to loversĀ
Weds the messy realistic actual dating oneĀ
Thurs hot ghost boyfriend (sad)Ā
Fri YoonLayPerth coping with loss and finding new love (sad). This one will all rest on Lay's acting so we know itās in safe hands. Our boy is going to KILL it.Ā
Sat time-slip memory loss reunion romanceĀ
Iām thinking we canāt expect any of these to end happy or be classic BL. Theyāre gonna be more slice of life-ish.Ā
Gossip - BL Outside of ThailandĀ
Scholar Ryuās Wedding Ceremony AKA Nobleman Ryuās Wedding (Korean historical BL) got a legit teaser (eng sub here). @curriculumvtaeā reports that itās releasing April 15th on WeTV (Philippines & Thailand) and Idol Romance (South Korea), while Will of Thai Bl says itāll be on Viki too.Ā Itās a short run of 8 ep built on a fake relationship trope (arranged marriage variant):
Ryu Ho Seonās (Kang In Soo from You Wish) arranged marriage turns out to be with his expected brideās brother, Choi Ki Wan (Lee Se Jin from Mr Heart). Ryu tries to undo the marriage, but his ill mother opposes this saying the scandal would be too much. Meanwhile, Kim Tae Hyeong (Jang Eui Soo from Where Your Eyes Linger), a senior at Ryuās school, comes to congratulate him and falls in love with Choi. Then one day, the original bride disappears.
Okay it seems a bit twisty turny for ONLY 8 EPS, but oh my goodness how excited are we? Our first intentional historical BL out of Korea!
We already knew Hong Kong was doing a remake of Japanās Ossanās Love under the same name (not my favorite Japanese BL but so very popular) but itās now reported to be coming to Viu in June. Who knows how the CFA will take it. Depends on whether Hong Kong bows before the NO GAY KISSES regs or if they are going to use this as a political nose thumb... things could get cray with this puppy (the original has several kisses and s shower scene). Are we back in Addicted territory only with added comedy and civil unrest?
Speaking of Japan, Absolute BL (AKA Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai vs Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko) dropped sooner than anyone thought, March 27. But being Japanese who knows how/when/if we get subs. Protag finds himself trapped in a world of BL, but being straight he fights against any hot guy that draws near, but the whole world (literally) is conspiring against him. Itās a parody adapted from a yoai.
What with Absolute BL from Japan plus Lovely Writer and Call it What You Want from Thailand, is 2021 the year of BL being ultra self referential? Sure feels like it.
In Case You Missed It
Faded a gayĀ micro film from Taiwan from 2017 deals with parental acceptance and serves up a ton of BL tropes (piggyback, forehead kiss, etc). Iām pretty sure this was a propaganda piece for legalization of gay marriage, and itās an interesting nugget of BL history as a result. Yes, it ends happy. Itās cute.Ā
Next Week Looks Like This:
Some shows may be listed a day later than actual air date for accessibility reasons.
Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.
Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.
Man thereās a lot going on right now! Spring has sprung... I suppose.Ā
P.S. I cannot believe I missed Absolute BL as a blog name. Numbnuts = me.Ā
#asian bl#asianbl#thai bl#thaibl#brothers the series#lovely writer#1000 stars#a tale of thousand stars#We Best Love: Fighting Mr.2nd#taiwanese bl#taiwan drama#history 4: close to you#dear uranus#taiwanese GL#asian gl#second chance the series#2gether the movie#y-destiny#friend or lover#Fish Upon The Sky#Call It What You Want#close friend the series#i told the sunset about you 2#faded short#oassan's love#japanese bl#absolute bl#Nobleman Ryuās Wedding#korean bl#nitiman
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Wolf Pack Careers
Sam- I like the idea of him working in construction or contracting, eventually working his way up to foreman or running the business. My headcanon is that he likes participating in building things that will last, and finds inspiration in ancient buildings that still stand to this day. I also could see him as a cop or security officer for the reservation, since he already does that anyway. Itās stated in New Moon that he, Jared, and Paul ran off a guy who was selling drugs on the reservation, so I think he should be paid for it.
Quil and Jared are a lot alike, so I could see either of them as a local radio or TV personality, cracking jokes and entertaining people for a living. Jared can probably do a ton of imitations, so maybe heād move off the reservation and be a voice actor for a kidās show. I definitely think neither of them would settle down for steady 9-5 jobs, as they are both more free-spirited. Quil could turn his love of video games and comics into a career of graphic design or freelance illustrating, but heād also be an amazing event or recreational coordinator for a nursing home, and heād love listening to elderly peopleās stories.
Itās hard to figure out Paul, but I could get behind him working as a fireman or something steady that most people wouldnāt want a career in- garbageman, truck driver, maybe he drives an armored car. Paul doesnāt care what he does, because his passions are his hobbies and interests and not what he does for a living.
Leah is a boss bitch and could do anything she set her mind to. The only headcanon I have for her job is that it would be anywhere but La Push. Maybe sheād end up as a park ranger, because I think sheād excel in jobs where sheās her own boss. She probably takes a ton of classes at community college to figure out her interests, and ends up bouncing around in a few different careers because she loves new challenges.
Jake builds and sells cars for a living, and spends his time building wheelchair ramps and other such things to make Forks and La Push and bordering communities more handicap and disabled-friendly. He eventually branches out in advocating for disabled spaces, and becomes a spokesperson on their behalf. Eventually he partners with a hospital and begins making custom prosthetics.
Embry is focused and detail-oriented, so a good career path would be a writer, but I love the idea of him being a lawyer for his community or the environment. I see him as just as caring as Seth, itās just not as apparent, and heās very dedicated to the community that took him and his mother in, and heās perseverant enough to get through law school. Heād make a great lawyer because heās passionate about justice and has a level head when debating. If he went down the writer path, heād probably work as a bartender while writing his first novel, and he has the best stories because of it. Heād be into the mystery or horror genres.
Seth is passionate about improving lives, so I could see him as a teacher, but I think getting a degree in biology or zoology would be on his level. Heās a lot like Leah in that he can do anything he wants (Sue excels at raising self-sufficient and proactive kids), and I could see him as a midwife, paramedic, working at a wildlife reservation, a doctor, a nurse like his mom, and so on. No matter what he does, it will help people, because Seth does not stand on the sidelines when he could do something.
#mine#headcanons#Twilight#Sam Uley#Quil Ateara V#Jared Cameron#Paul Lahote#Leah Clearwater#Jacob Black#Embry Call#Seth Clearwater#wolf pack
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