#here's my cerberus contribution because why not

[kniferous]

Who am I?

Wh-Who are you?

Who am I?

…

I have been given many names. Some call me the Croak, Sutek, Anubis, Osiris. For centuries I was Hella, Hades, and Pluto, there are names left forgotten, names yet to be spoken. No word has ever been able to capture even a fraction of who- what I am. I am peace. I am the calm, quiet, darkness, and cold. I am everything, everywhere. I am the nothing, the void. I am inevitable, eternal. I am your end. I am death. 

*Screams echo from down the hall*

None shall escape my clutches. I am the god of all gods. The lord of flies. I grow stronger as the living grow weak. Humanity has isolated itself. There is nowhere to run, for I am nowhere. 

Why now? If you have been around for centuries. Why are you acting now?  What made you choose today?

I have spent a millennia gathering power but lady life has been creating faster than I can destroy. But you have given me just what I needed to rise from the shadows. I thank you for your contributions to my cause. My champion, my knight.

I have never- would never help you! I can’t kill anyone. I have only ever saved lives.  There is an entire town that is alive because of me! How could I be your champion?

Ha, fool! Why do humans always forget that they are not alone on this earth?

…

You may not have killed any humans but by saving their lives you have killed millions of bacteria. Thousands of seeds will never take root because of the cities you have helped build. For the past two centuries, humans have committed genocide against the most populous species on the planet. For every tree you cut down a thousand squirrels and birds will never be born. Each forest you burn ends the lives of millions of creatures ranging from the great grizzly to the termites in the wood. Fireflies and mosquitos have all but disappeared in your great cities. You have eradicated disease and caused the extinction of so many of the former rulers of this world. I thrive on death, and you and your humans have given me the gift of the dead. Now we are here to return the favor. 

We?

Come my children rise from your graves.

Eris, spread your chaos and mayhem all over this world. Wreak havoc on their civilizations! Use their weapons against them and make their world uninhabitable so that nothing can grow or live. Release them from the claws of life and welcome them to my domain.

Blanch, blind them with the overpowering truth of life. Show them why we do what we do so that they may join in the glory of death.

Cerberus, tear them limb from limb. Shred them to pieces and make them wish for my sweet embrace.

Go forth and share my peace.

[nishihiroto]

we got no problem 

[shizukateal]

Lore Olympus Fast-Pass thoughts (207)

It's the day after in the Underworld.

Sleeping Beauty kiss, at last <3

What, why isn't it funny, what better thing could he have said?

Go get a fucking doctor you 2.

The parade can come later, your realm has a new queen to celebrate.

Yeah, you know I was wondering about them too?

The shoe drops in 3, 2, 1...

They were with a dog handler? Mighty competent one at that if the dogs are safe and fed after all that Kronos bullshit and only Cerberus got hurt. They deserve a raise.

Meli is still so twiny <3 <3 <3

It's a Bad Bitch Coven up in here (down in here, this is the underworld).

Oh nice, queen makeup time, I want in.

Hey Eros, how's Psyche? No, for real, how is she? WHERE is she? Have you had your child yet???

We are back on Beauty and the Beast it seems.

"What do I do now?!" Have a literal big fat greek wedding then just continue off from where you were before the trial.

Go to Law school, then take every advice these 3 give you with a pinch of salt.

Hades, my bro, by this point you're just spitting whatever comes to your head. Also horses are Poseidon's thing.

For the next 6 months, yeah, you do.

Girl, don't ask that question to Aphrodite, you know her answer, just do what comes naturally.

*digs my asexual nails into Hades' arms* I don't know how to get this through you, but there's more to a relationship -and specifically your relationship- than whether your first time having sex is good.

Yeah, thanks Poseidon.

Will someone please attend Hecate, she's too much of a girlboss for this bullshit!!!

Girl, that's not damage, it just contributes to your aesthetic. But also, huh, nice to have some confirmation on that. It's still odd, though, Persephone is extremely competent at her vegetation goddess job, and she's a fertility goddess at that, how come there was apparently a famine so terrible she had to exert herself to control it?

Compliment of the century, everyone.

Awwwww <3

-time for the hard conversations to take place. *cracks knuckles* Let's put all the cards on the tables, shall we?

On the one hand, technically -and that's a stretched technicality- Kronos' escape was Persephone's fault. Actually it was Minthe's fault, kinda, but in the end there's no point in pointing fingers. It's something that spurred from something tiny that no one could've really prevented -well, the Fates, but I get the feeling they get exempted from intervening- which had unexpected consequences.

One could also maybe put the blame on Hades for not checking on his prisoner? But that is also a big stretch, it's probably not like Kronos' curse affected the underworld citizens before the Big Sleep happened so, again, unless the Fates had warned him there was probably no reason for him to suspect this until it was too late.

On the other hand, Zeus did have a bigger sample size to draw conclusions from and didn't take the plunge until it was almost to late, and even then he did so by explicitly breaching his agreement with Hades. The goddess he publicly dogpiled on made a triumphant ascension and defeated the 3 realm's most hated foe, so even if he could pin some blame on her (which I doubt, because I'm pretty sure he doesn't know) I doubt he's gonna garner much public antipathy against her. Not that it would change anything really, since he no longer holds enough authority over her. But maybe he could still negotiate so that Persephone doesn't publicize that he's been bullshitting about her punishment for the past 10 years? Will he keep the mortal realm separation just to keep that under the wraps? I doubt Perse will accept not seeing her mother now, though. But most crucially to me, how will he handle things now that a Fertility Goddess child is possible?

Remember, however, that even if it turns out he's not concerned about that last thing, it doesn't mean that my theory is disproven.

Moving on, Apollo ( >:D <- that's my petty face) is not going to be happy about this, nor is Leto. I wouldn't put it past Apollo to pull out the rape card to try to prevent the wedding, but unless there's some bullshit rule we don't know about yet that seems like a spectacularly stupid and pointless move to try, so I doubt that will happen. Their next move remains a mystery to me.

Assuming I'm right about Hestia, based on how calm she seems r/n I guess she feels like the worst is over and there's no need/ point in hiding Perse's fertility goddess status now? I'll see if Perse leaving TGOEM is ever addressed. Maybe Demeter will have a talk with her and we'll get more info.

This leaves Thetis, who only has an indirect stake on this marriage, but still. As far as we've seen her only 2 friends are in the mortal realm, Thanatos has definitely moved on to better things, and I assume so has Minthe. Not much she can do now except pray that Zeus will open his bed more often now that Hera is awake but still unlikely to go back to him, especially once she finds out about those 10 years of bullshit, and even then we all know how that ends for her.

[orokay]

I’m so curious about your OC Mallorie, what is her backstory? What does she do specifically for Cerberus?

Oooooh >:) I've both been hoping someone would ask abt her and dreading it bc I have information floating around in my head but not a lot of concrete stuff planned out on her background, especially the early stuff.

I know her mom passed away when she was pretty young and her dad was in the Alliance but did something that caused him to get dishonorably discharged. The pair moved to Omega when she was in her tweens, maybe a bit earlier, and her dad joined up with the Blue Suns. She spent a lot of time on her own since her dad did a lot of off world contract work and at one point he just never came back. She assumed that he'd been killed in action, but at some point she learns that he'd either come into a lot of money on a job or cut a deal with someone or something and just decided to start a new life elsewhere. As I said, this part is the most fuzzy for me because I have basic ideas for it, but I haven't ironed out exact details lol.

Growing up, her dad did the bare minimum (and often less) of parenting, but he and some of his buddies did teach her a bit on how to defend herself, mainly so she could defend their apartment while he was away. She put those skills to use to survive on her own once he disappeared.

It was the usage of those skills and her desperation for companionship that caught the attention of and made her easy prey for a Cerberus recruiter named Marina. Marina befriended and took in Mallorie when she was at her most vulnerable and when Mal was sufficiently dependent on her, she introduced her to Cerberus. By the time Mallorie realized what Cerberus was, she felt trapped. She was very young, had no support system outside of the group, and the only person who 'cared' about her was in the group. She didn't believe she'd be able to leave alive and if she did, she didn't think she'd be able to build up a life for herself, especially with the looming risk of Cerberus hunting her down. She kept those feelings close to herself and wasn't seen as a risk because of her dependent relationship with Marina.

IIRC, Phantoms are a new type of unit because they use a lot of reverse engineered reaper tech. I initially had her as a former Phantom, but because of that info, I'm thinking she was trained in a sort of Phantom prototype unit (maybe based off of N7 Shadows since they seem pretty similar) and those units went on to get 'upgraded' with reaper tech around ME3.

She was in Cerberus for seven years, a large portion of which was combat training, but also included low and high risk missions the further along in her training she got. Her conscience ate away at her the entire time but she still didn't think she could leave as the more she saw what Cerberus was capable of, the less she believed she could get out in one piece even with her acquired skill sets. During her time with them, however, she encountered an alliance agent that she began sending whatever data she could get her hands on in an attempt to alleviate her guilty conscience. Most of the stuff was likely junk, she wasn't ever important enough to access anything big generally, but she needed to do something. It was when she did stumble upon and send out data on something big that she was finally found out. She was tortured for information on her contact, but luckily the base she was being held in was raided by a Hierarchy patrol before they could kill her. She was brought to the Citadel for medical care and, wishing to avoid deeper questioning on why she was on the base to begin with, hitched a ride off station as soon as she was stable enough to not die in transit, ending up back on Omega.

I wasn't going to do this initially, but here's some stuff copy & pasted from a conversation about her that goes more into the context of her mindset that contributes to why she joined and stayed with Cerberus:

I think it manifests in self destructive behaviors like trying dangerous things on a whim or nearly picking fights with people who could definitely kill her by making stupid comments to strangers on Omega, or, going back further, joining a human supremacist group after her father abandoned her when it genuinely goes against who she is as a person. I definitely need to go back into her profile and see what I had that caused her to join Cerberus, but I think whatever it was was definitely helped by them swooping in when she was young and incredibly vulnerable and giving her a place to belong. I can imagine there are probably Cerberus recruiters who get people to join the same way people recruit for cults. I think the woman that Mal killed in that one short bit I wrote three billion years ago who was sort of implied to have been an ex of Mal's (I think I was still mostly closeted back then and the intention wasn't there, but when I reread it a year or so ago I was like "….the subtext…") was either the person who recruited her, or at the very least the person who kept her from really looking behind the curtain for a long time. Eventually her morality did win out (obviously) but she definitely stuck around longer than she would have because she didn't want to lose the only friend she had and kept talking herself out of seeing what Cerberus was until she couldn't anymore. In a lot of ways, Mal is extremely lonely and gullible in the sense that she'll do anything for a sense of connection. If you tell her you care about her, she'll do anything or be anyone to make sure you keep caring about her, because she's terrified of being left behind and doesn't believe that the person she really is is good enough to keep people invested. Literally brought a Vorcha into her home and nursed him back to health and then kept him around afterwards, when they're considered by most to be like… pests. I definitely think she did it because she's a genuinely good and caring person, but I also think that an underlying part of why she opened her house to him even after he could technically go out on his own is that she saw an opportunity for friendship. I think she gets less desperate to hold on to all of them and starts to relax once she realizes that the rest of the group genuinely cares about her and won't be going anywhere, but I think there was definitely a period at the beginning of her friendship w/ everyone where she would do anything to keep them around which probably manifested mostly in her doing dumb stunts to keep them entertained or like… always trying to pay for stuff or whatever.

[virmireisms-a]

Ashley - Wanted Dynamics

So this is just a small wanted thread of general dynamics/ideas I'm interested in exploring. A lot of these will be with my me2 squadmate AU or post-Reaper war, but if I've ever sent you a meme or liked for a starter and you're feeling stumped, check here! That, or if you like one of these ideas -- reach out to me directly!

Ashley and Miranda in my me2 squadmate AU growing past some initial animosity. I absolutely get the vibe that Ashley in that AU would not like Miranda (don't get me wrong--I love Miranda, but Ashley would not like her at first lmaooo), and there would be some sort of... almost catfight-esque vibes. That being said, Miranda's urge to protect Oriana as well as Ashley's urge to protect her family is something I really see them eventually bonding over, so this is a dynamic I would love to explore. This could play very well into ME3 and post-war plots too!

In accordance with the above: Spectre Miranda? Ashley showing her the ropes of Spectre status? Pls, gimme these girls working together. They're both very headstrong women with familial tendencies and that's juicy imo.

Ashley and Jacob, again in the squadmate AU. Jacob's someone Ashley would give a berth because he's Cerberus, but the shared experience of Eden Prime is something I could again see them bonding over. Also, please, Ashley teasing Jacob in ME3 about his girl if he's not romanced would be adorable. (Or, who knows—Jacob/Ashley romance? Maybe? Who knows!)

Tali and Ashley sister dynamics. Ashley states a few times that Tali's like a little sister to her, so honestly even some early ME1 or even ME3-era bonding would be wonderful.

I always want femsheps or brosheps to tease Ashley about things, honestly. Tease her about her interest in Vega in 3, or tease her about Kaidan, that kind of deal.

General Liara and Ashley bonding, honestly. Any era, but ideally ME1, ME3, or post-Reaper war, especially if Ashley's investigating Spectre things and Liara's helping (depending on the investigation) with her Shadow Broker resources. Honestly, I could see Ashley trading some intel back to Liara in that respect, as she trusts Liara's honest judgement as the Shadow Broker.

Maybe Ashley helping Liara with some Shadow Broker investigations, depending on the nature? I do think Ashley would be willing to help depending on what it is, as again, she trusts Liara's morality in that respect (especially considering the breadth of resources she contributed in the Reaper war).

Ashley trying to keep up with Grunt's shenanigans, somehow. Probably just a lot of Ashley going, "Grunt, why."

Honestly, in general, post-war interactions. I'm not picky between destroy or control endings, not so hot on synthesis (cool concept but kinda meh). I do prefer Destroy myself, (especially with mehem/ahem where the geth/EDI survive) but I'll flexibly work with either!

In relation to the above, I am a major sucker for my me2 squadmate AU. I’ll happily take any interactions related to missions or the like during ME2 kind of rehashed with Ashley present. Given Ashley’s personality it’s possible there could be different, even fun outcomes for some of the situations depending on her influence and I’d LOVE to explore that.

[imaginetonyandbucky]

The Buy In

Chapter 5: Keeping Up Appearances

by @dracusfyre

Bucky stared sightlessly at New York traffic as he quietly panicked. He tried and failed to think of any way to get out of this, now that he was already in the car; if he could have, he would have given himself nausea and diarrhea immediately and suffered the indignity instead of escorting Tony Stark, the Mechanic, the single most powerful crime boss in Manhattan, to the Policeman’s Ball. What in the hell was he going to say to his handler? For three blocks he debated whether to give them any advance warning at all; it would be so much easier to deal with the fallout later by claiming that Stark had taken his phone before telling him where he was going. For three more blocks, he tried and failed to type something, each sentence he came up with sounding dumber than the last, so with only the barest bit of guilt he stashed his phone in the car’s glove compartment as Happy pulled into the drop off line for the ball.

Cameras started flashing almost as soon as he got out of the car to open Stark’s door, and while Stark climbed out, smiling and waving, he tried to look as boring as possible, mouth a flat line as he ignored the press and kept an eye out for anyone looking suspicious. Just what exactly was he supposed to be guarding Stark from, anyway? Other mob bosses in attendance? A mugger? The police?

“Want a drink?” Stark said once they got inside, and Bucky forced himself to shake his head even though he desperately wanted to say yes. He trailed behind Stark as he glad-handed the crowd, making jokes and asking after people’s kids, and miserably tallied the various important people in the room: the mayor, who gave Stark a handshake and a clap on the back for his donation to the Food Bank For NYC; a representative to the state house, who managed to solicit campaign donations in the guise of complimenting him on his philanthropic efforts; a US Senator that thanked him for his investment advice. And those were just the people that Bucky recognized; there was no telling how many government officials and CEOs that numbered among the people that subtly held court around Stark. He wondered how many knew about Stark’s criminal ties, and how many would care if they did know.

Finally, for Bucky’s sanity, they made the announcement for dinner and everyone filed dutifully into the main hall where they set up tables for the event.

“I was wondering if you were coming, Tony,” an amused voice said from behind them. Stark turned, and the smile he had been wearing all night widened and finally reached his eyes as a tall, slim redhead let him pull her down to kiss her on the cheek.

“Pepper, so glad to see you,” he said, taking one of her hands and putting it in his elbow. “Are you sitting next to me?”

“Of course.” Bucky recognized the woman from Stark’s case file; she was Virginia Potts, his personal lawyer. Though ‘lawyer’ didn’t really capture her, really; from a police perspective, she was Cerberus, the dragon guarding the tower, Gandalf on the bridge: in short, “You Shall Not Pass” in human form. She was largely the reason why Bucky was on this undercover assignment; faced with the potential of meeting her in court, no judge in the city would grant them a warrant without a literal smoking gun of Stark’s guilt. She was just as well connected as Stark was, to boot; one of the other senior partners at her firm was on the short list of the Democrats’ Supreme Court Justice picks and the other worked for the state as the deputy Attorney General. “How are you? Who’s this?” she asked, finally noticing Bucky following them to the dinner table.

“I’m fine, and this is a new guy,” Stark said as he pulled the seat out for Potts to sit. “I call him Blue Eyes.”

Potts rolled her eyes and offered Bucky a surprisingly kind smile. “Don’t worry, he can’t remember my real name either,” she said. “Don’t take it personally.”

“I don’t, ma’am,” Bucky said, returning her smile despite himself.

“Oh, Bill, it’s good to see you,” Stark said, and Bucky glanced away from Potts to see that sitting right across from Stark was the NY police commissioner.

 Tony hid a smile as he heard the strangled noise Blue Eyes made when he recognized the police commissioner. But after an evening of watching the man sweat as Tony rubbed elbows with the most powerful men in the state, he took pity on him. “I’ll be good for a while, if you need to take a break,” he said, and watched with amusement as the man all but fled from the table.

“What was that about?” Pepper asked with a small frown, thanking the wait staff as they filled up her glass with water and set a glass of white wine in front of her.

“I think his eyes aren’t the only thing about that guy that’s blue,” Tony said, looking significantly towards the police commissioner. Pepper’s eyebrows shot up and she took a drink of wine as she realized what he was saying, then she barely swallowed it in time before she laughed.

“And you brought him here? You are a terrible person,” she scolded him, clearly trying to suppress a smile.

“Yeah. It’s been fun watching him trying to avoid the cameramen all night. Especially because he’s been so worried about being photographed that he probably didn’t notice the fact that half of the conversations I’ve had tonight involved breaking the law in some way or another.” For example, what had probably sounded like a request for a campaign contribution was actually a solicitation for a bribe, which Tony was going to pay because politicians were just good investments, really, and honestly the Senator Walker should really talk less about how much money he made off of insider trading, particularly when he is using his committee positions to do it.

This time, Pepper’s eyes held a flash of warning instead of amusement, and Tony held up his hands in surrender, turning the conversation to safer waters as they ate.

                                                               ***

To Bucky’s surprise, Stark was ready to go not long after dinner; for some reason Bucky had the idea that he would want to stay all night, shaking hands and taking turns around the dance floor. He was all smiles as he left, but as soon as the car door closed behind him, he collapsed against the car seat with a sigh.

“You know,” Stark said, eyes closed as he rested his head on the back of the seat, “the funny thing about going to these events, is that I probably shook hands with more criminals tonight than I have in the past six months put together. But no one cares about that because the people who are supposed to care are criminals too.”

“That sucks, Boss,” Happy said, clearly having heard this complaint before. Now that they were far from the crowds and bright lights, Stark’s good mood seemed to be curdling; he sounded almost depressed. 

“It’s exhausting, is what it is. Blue Eyes, have you ever had to shake hands with and smile at someone that you hated all the way down to your bones?” Stark’s voice was muffled and Bucky looked back to see that his hands were over his face as he rubbed his eyes.

“Yeah, of course. There’s always that one guy at every job, right? The asshole that no one likes?”

Stark barked out a laugh. “Having only one would be nice, actually.” He sat up suddenly and scooted forward until he was all but in the front seat. “Let’s get dessert. Is there a late night ice cream place? Or pie? Or donuts? Back there they only had some sort of fancy baklava on the menu and I don't like honey.”

Happy and Bucky shared a look and Bucky patted his pockets for his phone before remembering that he’d put it in the glove compartment. Then he remembered why he’d left it in the car, and winced as he saw the notifications on his phone. But it was after midnight so that was going to be a Future Bucky problem. He pulled up the search bar and found a late night cookie company that was on their way home.

When they got there, there was no place to park, so Bucky got out with Stark to go inside while Happy stayed with the car. Unsurprisingly, they were the oldest people inside; the cashier and the two other customers looked like they were still in high school or college, because realistically who would be looking for a sugar fix this late at night except students. And one mob boss with a sweet tooth, apparently. Stark made a beeline for the display case and all but pressed his nose to the glass.

“What’s your favorite kind of cookie?”

“Something with fruit and nuts in it,” Bucky said. “You?” Bucky came up next to him to read all the labels. “Mexican chili cookie? Who wants a spicy cookie?”

“Can’t do better than chocolate chip,” Stark said.  “But that salted caramel is speaking to me.” He glanced up at the menu and said, “Ooh, ice cream sandwiches,” sounding so excited that Bucky had to smother a smile. It was hard to keep a straight face as Stark deliberated; the man was being so stupidly cute as he debated the merits of the different options that Bucky had the dumbest fucking desire to kiss him. Stark ended up buying a whole box of cookies and an ice cream sandwich because he couldn’t decide on which cookies he wanted, and because he kept thinking of people to give them to: “Happy will say he’s on a diet but I think he’ll want one of these M&M cookies. I don’t think I’ve ever seen mint in a cookie, I’ll get that one for Rhodey, but also this sprinkle one because it will be funny.”

Maybe it was the sugar or the impulsive shopping trip, but Stark seemed in lighter spirits as they drove the rest of the way back to his garage, telling funny stories about the people that had been at the event. It even made Happy unbend a little, as much as he ever did when he was working, and at one point Bucky was laughing so hard he was in tears.

“Here’s good, Happy,” Stark said before they could pull into the secured parking lot behind the garage.

“Are you sure, Boss?” Happy said dubiously. “It’s not safe-”

“I got Blue Eyes to protect my virtue, right Blue Eyes?” Stark said. Bucky almost bobbled the box of cookies as climbed out of the car at the mention of Stark’s virtue, and when Stark met his eyes Bucky knew he’d done it on purpose. “Come on inside with me,” Stark continued. “We need to talk about the event tonight.” He leaned over to look at Happy through the window. “You go on home, I’ll make sure he gets home ok.”  When Happy nodded, Stark tapped on the top of the car and stepped back from the curb as the car pulled away

Bucky’s hands tightened on the box of cookies as his heart gave a heavy thump and his mouth went dry. He swallowed against a spike of nerves. We need to talk was never a good sign, but also, he was about to be alone with Stark. Trying not to think about what had happened earlier, he trailed awkwardly behind Stark as he put in the security code for the door and stepped inside, turning on a few of the big banks of fluorescent lights as he went.

“You can change, if you want,” Stark said, gesturing towards the bathroom where Bucky’s clothes were still folded neatly on the sink. He shrugged out of his suit coat and unbuttoned the sleeves, rolling them up so the cuffs didn’t dangle. Bucky’s eyes lingered for a moment on the lean muscles of his forearm, the strong, slender wrist bracketed by the narrow-banded watch, and decided that a moment alone in the bathroom was a good idea.

He changed quickly and splashed cold water on his face, giving himself a stern lecture about professionalism in the mirror, reminding himself why he was really here. His boss would be telling him that this was a great opportunity, that he seemed to have Stark’s trust. That now would be the perfect time to dig a little deeper. Bucky told himself that even though Stark was handsome and funny and apparently the kind of guy that would stuff a hundred dollar bill in a tip jar didn’t mean that…

“Wait, start over,” he muttered, shaking his head. Even though Stark seemed like a good person he was, at the very least, the target of a massive criminal investigation, even if it did seem like maybe there were worse criminals out there they could be investigating. They weren’t friends, he reminded himself. Stark didn’t know anything about him, and would probably drop him into the Hudson if he did. With that sobering thought, Bucky sighed, gathered up the fancy suit and shoes Stark had lent him, and went back out to the main room.

Then that whole pep talk promptly went out the window as he came out to see Stark sitting on a metal table, swinging his legs like a kid as he ate a cookie. As Bucky came closer, he saw that Stark had kicked off his shoes and had also taken a signle bite out of half the cookies in the box. When he looked up at Bucky with a smile of welcome, Bucky knew that he was in trouble.

“So what did we need to talk about?” he asked, taking a seat on the table next to Sta- Tony. He might as well stop calling him Stark; it’s not as if thinking of him by his last name was helping him maintain any sort of objectivity.

“Just getting your impression about tonight. Did you notice anything I should know about?” Tony held out the cookie box and Bucky took one of the oatmeal craisin ones, one of the few that Tony hadn't taste tested.

He took a bite to buy himself some time to think; Bucky had a lot of observations from tonight, ranging from the completely inappropriate (the curve of Tony's ass when Ms. Potts dropped something and Tony bent over to pick it up) to the irrelevant (not impressed with the music selection) to the potentially explosive (the Commandant had a drinking problem and was probably cheating on his wife). Assessing which were relevant to Tony took a moment. “There were a couple of people that were giving you the evil eye all night,” he said finally. “Right after you shook hands with them they looked like they wanted to shank you.”

Tony threw his head back and laughed at that. “I’m sure. Was one of them a skinny tool with glasses? Justin Hammer?”

“Yeah, that was one. Another one was the Special Agent in Charge of an FBI satellite office-”

“Not surprising,” Tony commented. “She’s new. The new ones are always hungry, she’ll come around.”

“-And the other was a big guy, bald but had a beard. I didn’t catch his name, sounded like you called him Toby.”

“You mean Obie? Obediah Stane?” Tony said with surprise. He dug out his phone and pulled up a picture. “This guy?”

Bucky leaned over to look at the phone. “Yeah. I always saw him watching you when you were talking to other people. Guy had eyes like a shark. People like him can kill someone and pass a lie detector test while his hands were still bloody. Who is he?”

“A family friend.” Tony frowned down at his phone and tapped it against his palm thoughtfully. “At least, I thought he was.”

“Oh shit. I’m sorry,” Bucky said. “Maybe I’m wrong, you know, I’m not-” an expert, is what he was going to say, but he stopped because no matter how you sliced it, cop or criminal, he was. He was an expert in assessing threats, and that guy was definitely bad news.

Tony waved his words away and tossed his phone on the table with a clatter. “It’s fine. Better to know. I’ll look into it. Anything else?”

Bucky shook his head and took another bite of cookie. “Why do you go to these things if they are full of people you don’t like and apparently people who don’t like you?”

“Networking, mostly. Obligation. Gotta show my face every now and then. Spite,” he added with a smirk. “But it’s also a good reminder.” When Bucky made a questioning sound, he took another cookie from the box and nibbled the edge.  “Look, I was a rich asshole for a long time,” Tony said after a moment. “Too long. Then one day, I met a guy at a party. Don’t even know how he got invited because he wasn’t rich, wasn’t famous, he was just some doctor. And I don’t remember what I was saying, but at one point he looked at me with such pity,” Tony said, eyebrows drawing together. He studied his cookie like it was helping him remember. “I still remember his face. No one had looked at me with pity before, and he said, ‘Look at you. All this money and still you have nothing.’ And I was like, ‘excuse me? Do you know who I am?’ As you do, right, because I could have anything I wanted, I’m fucking Tony Stark. And he said, ‘Yeah, I know who you are. I’ve seen dozens of men like you. And despite all their money, all their fame, death came for all of them in the end, and they had nothing to show for it but a tacky tombstone.’” Tony bit his lip, frowning a little. “I’m sure I said something, but he just finished his drink and walked away, like I wasn’t worth his time. I wish I could say that I had this like, huge change of heart and changed my ways after that night, but it ended up being this gradual thing.”

Bucky realized he was staring. “What do you mean?” he asked, taking a bite out of the cookie he just remembered he was holding.

“Well, I looked him up later and found out he ran a free clinic downtown and on a whim I donated some money. Like, 'see what a good person I am, have some money.' Like I was proving him wrong somehow by doing that." Tony snorted and shook his head at the memory. "Anyway, doing that puts you on some kind of list somewhere, apparently, and one day I got an email about a runaway shelter. Then a food bank, then a refugee thing, and it kind of snowballed from there.”

“Wait, wait.” Bucky shook his head. “How did you go from ‘donating to a clinic’ to ‘mob boss over half of Manhattan’? That’s one hell of a snowball.”

“Well, after donating to a bunch of causes, I saw that a housing complex near all these nonprofits went up for sale, so I bought it,” he said with a shrug, fiddling with a napkin as he talked. He was already done with his cookie somehow, despite having done most of the talking.  He reached for another from the box and took a tiny bite. “I was kinda feeling like, I don’t know, tied to this area as I kept an eye on my pet projects. Then I started getting a bunch of complaints about the conditions and I was pretty fucking appalled at what I was seeing. Like, no one should live like that. It was a shame for rats to even be living there. So I fixed it up, and then I set up a trust for the building and gave it back to the tenants. All their rent goes in a fund, and they spend money on that fund to pay for what the complex needed.”

“Like a condo association?”

“More like a cooperative. They decide how much to charge everyone for rent, they decide if they want to spend money on painting the place or upgrading the light fixtures, you know, whatever. I think last time I checked they had put in a community garden. So when another came up for sale, I bought it, and then another, then I realized I might as well invest in some of the businesses here. After the fiasco of that first apartment building, I started looking at what I was spending my money on so I would know what to expect. Then when I was looking at a commercial building, people came in to shake down the owner of one of the businesses while I was there. Like, I was standing right there and those people didn’t give a shit who saw them. I was so surprised that I didn’t say anything until it was over, and then I asked the guy if that happened a lot. Can’t let that go on, you know, because...well, I mean, the owner looked so scared, and that made me mad because he's just trying to make a living, you know? Also, it cuts into the bottom line, so.” Tony shrugged again. “I put a stop to it. And then, well,” he gestured expressively around him with his cookie. “Like I said. Snowball.”

Bucky could only stare, bemused. If he had heard the same story on his first day of work, he might have been unable to keep from laughing in Stark’s face. But now…well, it was increasingly hard to square what the police knew – or thought they knew – about Tony Stark and what Bucky was seeing. “I guess no kid wants to be a criminal when they grow up,” Bucky said. “We all just kind of wander into it.”

“Yeah? Is that how you went from Bagram to Brighton Beach?”

Now it was Bucky’s turn to shrug, uncomfortable. After hearing Tony's story, he didn’t want to feed him some bullshit line from his cover story. “There’s only a few career opportunities for a grunt back home,” he said vaguely. “Even fewer that pay well.”

He glanced up to see Tony studying him thoughtfully. “Do you miss it?”

“The Army? Hell no.” That part was true enough.

“How about here? Are you happy here?”

Bucky’s mouth quirked. “Are you asking me about my job satisfaction? One means not at all satisfied, ten means highly satisfied?” He had the pleasure of watching Tony almost spit out a bite of cookie as he surprised a laugh out of him.

“Sure,” Tony said after a moment when he finished chewing. "One out of ten."

“Ten,” Bucky said truthfully. “I like helping people.” He had the traitorous thought that the past few months working with KT had been closer to what he'd thought it would be like to be a cop than what it had actually turned out to be like, and felt vaguely guilty.

“Yeah, me too.” 

They sat there in a surprisingly comfortable silence for a few moments before Bucky heard the ding of a notification on his phone. He silenced it without looking – his handlers were still yelling about the Policeman’s Ball – but sighed when he saw the time. “It’s getting late,” Bucky said reluctantly, more because it seemed appropriate rather than any desire to actually leave. He opened his mouth to say, I had a great time tonight and immediately felt like an idiot because, bare feet and half-eaten box of cookies aside, this wasn't, in fact, a date.

But apparently he wasn’t the only one who had lost the plot, because Tony said, “Would you like to come up for a dr-” before he cut himself off with a look of horror that would have been funny if Bucky hadn’t, deep down, wanted so badly to say yes. “I’ll call you a cab,” he said instead, looking away to grab his phone.

“I’ll wait outside,” Bucky said, and fled.

                                                ***

Tony watched from a window as Blue Eyes' taxi drove away, then as Tony went up the elevator to his penthouse condo he texted a sad face to Rhodey.

Told you it was a bad idea, Rhodey wrote back.

Don’t say I told you so. I’m sad, Tony responded.

You’re making yourself sad pining after an undercover cop. I don’t feel bad for you.

“That’s fair,” Tony said out loud. You should. I got you cookies and you’re being mean to me. Tony texted Rhodey a picture of the half-empty box of cookies and made himself sad all over again, remembering the intensity with which Blue Eyes had stared at the display of cookies when told to pick one, like it was a pop quiz that he was determined to pass.

Go to bed, Tones.

With a sigh, Tony tossed his phone on the bed and started peeling himself out of the monkey suit, setting the cufflinks he’d been wearing on his dresser as he threw the suit and shirt on the back of a chair to be dry cleaned. The problem was that tonight, like every night for the past few years, Tony was going to bed by himself. There had been a certain point where he’d realized that he’d tipped over from bending the rules, to breaking the rules, then to breaking the rules in a way that would get him put on lists written by people with badges, and at that point he’d realized that to bring anyone into his life was to put a target on them. The only way to avoid it was to not get close to anyone, but he’d done the one-and-done lifestyle and wasn’t interested in that anymore. It had been Pepper for a  while, because she was more than capable of protecting herself, but after a year she had gently but firmly told him that it wasn’t working for her, and that had been the end of it. Since then, there had been a few people that he thought maybe, maybe this one but in the end, they didn’t feel right.

Blue Eyes felt right. He knew it was dumb and he knew what Rhodey would say – star crossed lovers only exist in fiction, Tones - but as he slid between the sheets that night, he let himself daydream about it until he fell asleep.

[peridot-tears]

MDZS but it’s Percy Jackson

Idk. Consider this PT’s coming out of retirement to make her last contribution to the fanfiction world. Will be moved to AO3 soon. Enjoy.

--

The new boy could shoot better than Wen Ning.

Wei Ying, everyone called him. The “ying” stands for “baby” or “infant”; not “hawk,” as he first thought.

Strange. It was more a nickname than a proper name, but one look at his boyish, sunshine face, and it was evident that something more proper would be unsettlingly serious. He had a big, stupid grin that was equal parts coy and...more stupid.

“Earth to Lan Zhan.”

He startled. “Ge.”

Lan Huan smiled at him indulgently, which Lan Zhan knew to be his big-brother smile before he thrashed him like a normal sibling. “If you’re so into him, why don’t you go make friends with him?”

“Ge...,” he said, only changing the intonation half a dial.

Lan Huan’s smile changed serious, just a little bit. His eyes flicked towards the new boy, whose arrow flew across the sky, and struck the target dead—because of Wei Ying’s hawk-like eyes.

“A-Zhan,” he said. “You’ll be claimed someday, and move to a cabin other than Hermes’s, but they are still good to us for taking us in. And, it is prudent to have friends in other cabins. He’s already made friends with those two from Apollo’s cabin.”

Lan Zhan felt his lips thin.

He didn’t respond, didn’t need to. But when it was his turn to shoot, and the new boy whooped for him and called him, “Lan-er!” he did not ignore him; he spared him a glance, and then refocused on what was important there and then.

His arrow thudded into the target. Dead and center.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Wei Ying said to a boy next to him—someone Lan Zhan had seen with him before, attached at the hip—“let me go again, Jiang Cheng. Let me go, let me go, let me gooooooo.”

“My gods,” said the boy, rolling his eyes. “Fine, if it’ll make you stop whining.”

Wei Ying whooped; Lan Zhan hardly registered as he brushed past him to reach the spot he had been standing in seconds ago, because he was busy registering Wei Ying brushing past him. “That was a good shot, Lan-er,” he said.

Lan Zhan bit. “How do you know my name?”

“Who doesn’t know the great and refined Lan Zhan, brother of Lan Huan, who sleeps across my bunk in the cabin?” Wei Ying asked, eyes sparkling with mirth, like a naiad’s. “They say you’re the next Percy Jackson.”

Lan Zhan wasn’t sure that he liked the sound of that.

Wei Ying winked at him, like a naiad trying to seduce him, and turned back to face the target, nocking his arrow. “看好了蓝湛“，he said casually, in their shared language.

Without realizing it—no one else was shooting on the range, all eyes on Wei Ying, so of course he would too—he obeyed.

Wei Ying had chosen a classic bow, all wood and strung with something hand-coiled. He stretched it back, all angles between the bow, the taut string, the cock of his arm. The feather of the arrow moved over his profile. It slid past his eye.

With a smirk, he released.

That was why he had chosen to take up Lan Zhan’s target...before anyone could collect the arrow Lan Zhan had shot. Wei Ying’s arrow touched the end of his in the blink of an eye; in another blink, it had pierced his through.

Wei Ying was not done. Before any demigod had the chance to bring their hands together, he had pulled and fired again, twice, three times, until there was a neat stack of arrows pierced together in a pile against the center of the target.

“You can clap now,” he told the stunned demigods gathered around the range.

They did, breaking into claps. Wei Ying turned back, casting another glance at Lan Zhan.

Lan Zhan felt his breath catch in his throat.

—

It was the first in a series of episodes in which Wei Ying played a game of Rile Him Up, with Lan Zhan as the main goal. And each time, it stirred up a raw feeling in him that made him go absolutely mad.

“He seems to want to make friends with you,” Lan Huan commented on their outing for strawberries.

Lan Zhan stopped their trudge up the hill—glide, more like, he refused to let his back bow more than necessary even on an upward incline—to sweep the horizon, the valley in the sunset. It was an orange sunset today, drowning Camp Half-Blood more than the sparkling sea in the distance could reach.

“He spilled my soup yesterday,” Lan Zhan said, and his older brother was kind enough to not add, But he immediately offered you his entire lunch and claimed he wasn’t hungry anyway. No, he just let it hang silently in the air instead. Lan Zhan had the best older brother in the world.

“He can be thoughtless at times, but still so thoughtful,” Lan Huan finally said, and this thought must have circulated in his mind for quite a while, because he said it after they had picked a basketful of strawberries in comfortable silence.

Sometimes, Lan Zhan thought he should be more talkative when they had these moments together; his brother was spending more and more time with that Meng Yao, also unclaimed, and if he were Wei Ying, he would probably be begging for Lan Huan’s attention back the way Wei Ying did Jiang Cheng. But he had such a secure attachment to his brother, who had been here when Lan Zhan was born silently as he lived. Lan Huan could go far, far away, but he would always come back for Lan Zhan to treat him with cold indifference. That was his love language, after all.

Why does Wei Ying want my attention?

Why does Wei Ying cringe at every mention of Cerberus, Hades’s hound?

Why does Jiang Cheng keep telling Wei Ying not to bother me, but then roll his eyes and look at me like I was the one bothering them?

Why am I thinking so much about Wei Ying?

“Didi,” Lan Huan said.

Out of it, Lan Zhan found his brother’s gaze. They were almost back at the Hermes cabin. “Ge.”

He just smiled. Lan Zhan was not sure whether to be annoyed or endeared. Well, it was his brother—so both.

The Hermes cabin was so loud this time of day, when everyone ought to be tired right before bed. But instead, it was crowded, and bustling, and there was one particularly guilty culprit in the middle of it all. Its name was Wei Ying, and its laughter could power an entire skyscraper in Monsters Inc.

Which he, of course, was narrating in great detail.

“Mike Wazowski is a Cyclops with amnesia!” he argued, while Jiang Cheng hovered in the background, rolling his eyes.

“Mike Wazowski took his girlfriend on a date to a sushi restaurant,” said another of the boys—Nie Huaisang, an actual, born son of Hermes. There had been a vague sense that he and his brother, Nie Mingjue would take on the legacy of the Stoll brothers as Cabin Eleven’s co-head counselors...until Mingjue had been claimed by Ares.

It was none of Lan Zhan’s business, but everyone wondered what kind of woman had managed to snag both Ares and Hermes as fathers to her children.

“Therefore,” Huaisang was continuing, seeming almost offended, “why would he eat fish? Poseiden’s pretty much all of them’s dad, that’s like eating his brother!”

“Well, yeah,” Wei Ying fired back, “that’s why he doesn’t know. Because amnesia!”

“The body remembers when the mind forgets!” Huaisang responded. “J.L. Moreno, the creator of psychodrama.”

“How do you even know that, when you can’t read?” Wei Ying fairly shrieked, obviously seconds away from calling his friend a nerd.

“You and I both have dyslexia, you know we can still read a little!” Huaisang actually shrieked.

Lan Huan cleared his throat.

All heads turned towards them. Lan Zhan wanted to be the younger brother rolling his eyes right now—Lan Huan had stage presence when he wanted to, didn’t he? But he had been taught to never, ever, ever roll his eyes, so he settled for giving everyone the cold shoulder as he walked away instead.

“We have procured some strawberries,” Lan Huan said goodnaturedly, and the entire cabin exploded in the sudden rush to gently wrest them from him before they were all gone.

“Me first!” Huaisang said, drowning somewhere in the middle. “I want to give some to my brother!”

“The Ares kids can pick their own strawberries!” Jiang Cheng huffed, strolling back to his bunk. He slept under Wei Ying. Wei Ying had the top bunk. And Lan Zhan had the next top bunk. They were next to each other.

Below him, the entire, considerable mass of Hermes demigods had turned into a sea of sardines. Had he and Lan Huan even picked enough?

Out of that sea exploded Wei Ying. “There aren’t anymore!” he exclaimed to the crowd that he was probably trampling his way out of right now. “No more, no more...sorry, guys...”

“You just put them all in your pocket!” one of the Hermes kids shouted. There was a split second of silence, before the shrieking cabin kids flung themselves at him. Those shrieks turned from accusing to disappointed as they realized...surprise, his pockets were flat and empty against his legs.

They pulled back, leaving him blinking innocently. “Why would I do that?” Wei Ying asked, sounding offended. “Why would I get more than my share? I don’t even like strawberries.”

“Uh-huh,” some of the demigods said, disbelievingly, but there was nothing else they could do. They drifted back to their beds, or the front stoop of the cabin, cradling their precious red-flavored catch of the day.

It was only once Wei Ying was left to his own devices that Lan Zhan turned his head to see him huddled with his brother and sister in the corner, gently pressing strawberries into their hands. Squint, and he could see them rolling from his sweater sleeves.

That clever little...

Truly, he was a son of Hermes. Lan Zhan could not wait until he found out who his father was, and he could finally go someplace where he would not have to hear Wei Ying snoring at night.

And yet, it was nine. Wei Ying was still huddled in the corner, giggling and whispering with his siblings. These sounds were keeping Lan Zhan awake, though his eyelids were heavy and he wanted to give in to that lull.

It was not until Wei Ying clambered his way into the bunk across Lan Zhan’s that his soft, happy snores filled their side of the cabin.

As he finally fell asleep, Lan Zhan realized that he had familiarized himself with the sound of Wei Ying’s snores.

—

Spring had finally burst into a full, ripened warmth that was gentle to them even at night. Wei Ying walked around in short sleeves now, which meant that he had to find a better way to hide things.

Lan Zhan sat by his brother as food appeared on his plate.

“Ah, your favorite! Watery soup!”

He twitched. “Wei Ying!” he said sternly, just barely stopping himself from covering his soup with his hands.

“Ah, I’m not gonna spill it this time, promise, promise!” Wei Ying said. “I said sorry for last time too, right? You can even have some of my food this time around! Or I could climb over and get some strawberries for you right now.”

Lan Zhan could feel his brother’s gaze on them both. “That will not be necessary,” he gritted out, picking up his spoon with deliberate care and slowness. And that would be the end of that.

According to him, not Wei Ying, who could not be stopped, “Ah, but those strawberries you and your brother picked the other day were so good. And you never got to taste them? What’s the point of a climb like that if you don’t even get a little bit? I could return the favor.”

“That will not be necessary,” Lan Zhan repeated. Maybe it would make him finally go away.

And on it went, Lan Zhan falling silent, Wei Ying bothering him still until his sister called him away.

“Sorry about that,” Jiang Cheng said, sounding not very sorry at all. “He’s adopted.”

Suddenly, there was a hush.

Lan Zhan could not describe it if he tried—the chattering camp fell silent, and he was compelled to follow. Nothing had happened. No sudden appearance of anything in particular. But he was sitting there next to his brother, all at once heavily aware of an uncomfortable silence.

He exchanged a glance with Lan Huan. It was not the sort of silence that led them to think there was some imminent attack oncoming, but he tensed slightly all the same.

At the front, Chiron stood, frowning slightly. He opened his mouth, but needn’t have bothered.

It became cold—the kind that felt like opening a refrigerator too fast on a steamy summer day. Lan Zhan was used to the coolness of clouds, but nothing like this. It was bone-deep, and that was how he knew who had come.

Not very far from him at all was Wei Ying, and Lan Zhan twisted his neck to see him let go of his siblings’ hands; he was standing between them, now staring straight at Lan Zhan as though confused. His eyebrows furrowed as he opened his mouth to speak, but for the first time, nothing came out. Black smoke furled gently from his clothes, rising above him, curling its tendons around them all. Lan Zhan refused to recoil when one touched him, and his unflinching bravery was met with a brief sense of...something. Resentment, maybe. Something dark. Something deeper than he could understand, though he understood perfectly.

As the wisps caressed his hands, his face, whatever smoke rose evaporated into a cloud above Wei Ying, whose eyes still never left Lan Zhan’s. He was stark, stark pale next to the black, and Lan Zhan was sure he looked much the same way.

Eventually, the cloud coiled into a shape. A crescent, though it stood like a tree.

A hush, for real this time.

Chiron trotted forward.

“All hail the son of Hades,” he said.

Wei Ying’s eyebrows dragged all the way up into his scattered bangs, as he finally blinked and looked around at anyone else that was not Lan Zhan.

Hades...the children of Hades rarely ever led happy lives, and yet here was Wei Ying, the brightest mark of light in anyone’s life.

But his large, puzzled doe eyes snapped back to Lan Zhan. Some part of them, Lan Zhan realized with a startle, was accepting. He even saw the hint of a smirk scratching the edge of his lip, like the revelation no longer troubled him. Like he embraced it, was excited for it.

“A-Zhan.”

Lan Huan. And, not just him, or Wei Ying—when Lan Zhan finally looked around, everyone was staring at him now. And he saw why, because his brother must be mirroring him: The two of them were surrounded by a reddish-brown glow, that slowly melted away. Nothing had changed otherwise, but there was viscerally something different—like his brother stood taller, his chin tilted higher.

“Oh,” someone gasped.

“Ah,” said Chiron. “All hail the sons of Aphrodite.”

—

[A/N: The “ying” in Wei Ying is a homophone for “hawk” and by extension, “eagle.” The more you know. I will be abusing the hell out of this wordplay.

This all started because of a talk I had with my good friend, whom I converted, and who I will love forever and ever. Crackhead culture? Mayhaps.]

[scoobydoominuscoobydoo]

An older ask had asked you how you would rewrite return to zombie island. How would you rewrite scoob?

Oh I’ve already put some thought into this while I was actually watching the movie simply because I was thirty minutes in and didn’t see it getting better.

The first change I would make is that I would get rid of the whole beginning scenes with them as kids. We didn’t need it and it literally added nothing to the story. You can convince your audience that the characters are close without needing to completely illustrate why.

I would definitely open the film up with them probably in mid-chase at the climax of a mystery because that’s just how you need to open up a Scooby movie. Right from the beginning this is where I would introduce the character conflict. Maybe after they’ve caught the guy and the police are commending them they wouldn’t really have anything to say to Shag and Scoob (who are probably disheveled and starving from running for their lives once again). Shaggy and Scooby have never felt bad about being cowards so I doubt this would really hurt them that much (maybe annoy them at the most). But it identifies where the story is going to focus.

We’d then move into some transitional scenes where you can watch how the gang’s dynamic works and this is where you sell their friendship. This ain’t just a Scooby and Shaggy movie, this is a whole gang movie (the central conflict just stems from Shaggy feeling under appreciated). So their relationships are an important part of getting the audience to care what happens. I would say you subtly show how Shaggy might break up little arguments or remind them to eat. Nothing in your face, more or less it would be weaved in with the gang’s standard banter.

Then we’d get to the gang talking about turning MI into a legitimate business by finding investors and stuff. I think this would be a good opportunity for a montage scene where we get to see a lot of other Scooby/HB characters without it taking too much out of the story (this is where I would show the Blue Falcon and Dyno Mutt). All of them seem to reject the proposition though. I didn’t have major issues with Simon Cowell because random celebrity cameos have always been a Scooby thing but I mean.... Why Simon Cowell of all people? I feel like there are way more suitable celebs to choose from. I feel like it would be funny if they brought in one of the actors from the 2002 live action film (playing themselves) and everyone is just like: “Who the heck is this?” And then Shaggy (who always knows who everyone is) just goes: “Um??? You uncultured swine??? That is obviously Linda Cardellini!” And then she’s the one who is finally willing to invest but says she’ll only do it if Shag is out (Scooby can stay because animal mascots are in and it doesn’t get anymore in than a talking Great Dane).

And the gang gets all offended at this and Linda (it doesn’t have to be Linda but for all intents and purposes I’m just saying it is) will just be like, “Fine, I’ll give you my money if you can tell me what he does for you. For your team.” 

And they’ll all stay silent, trying to think of something and that’s when Shaggy finally takes it personally. It’s one thing to be judged by people he hardly knows. But for his best friends to be given like the easiest ultimatum and they can’t even deliver on it? He wonders if he’s being taken for granted. He decides he is and explodes. Shaggy never explodes so it freaks the gang out.

I think he’d call them out for not considering his constant submission into being the bait as a contribution - despite the fact that he always states that he’ll never do it again. But of course they wouldn’t count that because they’re always too focused in on the details to miss the big picture in front of them. Because, ultimately, that is what Shag adds to the team. Daphne, Fred, and Velma tend to get so wrapped up in the small factors that they sometimes miss the obvious. And that’s when Shaggy will point out the big thing that they’re missing. Shag has always been big picture over nuts and bolts so of course he’s the one to bring up the primary detail missed. This has been an element in almost every single show so I feel like it’s funny that it’s never been spelled out.

Velma is a little hot-head who doesn’t love being demoralized by anyone so she might say something uncalled for and that’s when Shaggy walks out and Scoob follows suit. That’s a pretty major conflict to take up the runtime so there you go. 

Shag and Scoob being pissed at the gang makes a little more sense now and can be further elaborated and expand into Shag’s self-confidence issues. It’s at this point that the two of them can get kidnapped by an unrevealed villain because why the heck would I take the mystery out of it? 

It wouldn’t be by a group of semi-sentient robots because this the 70′s or 80′s and technology wouldn’t be that advanced. Instead, I’d shoot for classic, masked henchmen (maybe disguised as horrifying Greek gods or something) who swipe Shag and Scoob from the bowling alley without even giving them a chance at a comedic chase scene because the audience is supposed to feel unnerved.

We’d cut back to the gang, 1/3 of them a little steamed and the majority feeling bad for selling their best friend short. It’s revealed that they didn’t take the investment offer because there’s no way they would further exclude Shaggy from anything. They decide that they should let everyone cool down before they go and talk things out and while that’s happening Daphne is trying put together a list of all the things Shag and Scoob add to the team. She gets even more upset with herself because this is their best friend and this shouldn’t be that hard. 

In the background, Fred and Velma start arguing and it would act as a kind of callback to the beginning where we see Shag break up their bickering. But since he’s not here the fight begins to escalate and it’s only when they start yelling that Daphne comes between them. Then her face lights up and she gingerly adds that to the list. 

As the movies cuts back and forth between Shag and Scoob’s perspective and the gang’s perspective the list gets longer.

Speaking of, Shag and Scoob are being kept prisoner at the abandoned carnival because that’s always an interesting set-piece that just so happened to be totally pointless in the actual movie. At some point the two of them are split up and this is when it’s hinted that the kidnappers where originally aiming for just Scooby but Shag was also there so they just rolled with it. But because Shaggy isn’t important to them, nobody is really guarding him anymore (they were originally guarding him because Scooby was with him). 

Scooby being taken is the motivation he needs to try and escape and save his dog (in his head he’s pretty sure these whackos are gonna freaking sacrifice his dog to the powerful god of all things creepy). His escape attempts would be interspersed between scenes of the gang looking for him, and Scooby being intimidated by the masked big bad (who is of course explaining the plan in great detail). The gang’s hunt for their guys would be a lot more difficult since they can’t just Life 360 up where he is. It would rely more on visual clues, eyewitness testimonies and choppy security footage, which is overall more engaging and gives the gang an actual thing to do.

While Shaggy is formulating an escape he’s able to pick up bits and pieces of what the crazy people want to do with Scooby and this acts as him getting closer to finishing a puzzle. But he doesn’t analyze the puzzle pieces he gets and tries to guess what the puzzle will look like, that’s not his area or his goal at the moment.

In a big triumphant moment, Shaggy escaping and the gang figuring out where he is happen at the same time. This gets the spirits high before things go wrong again.

And when I say wrong - I mean the gang get capture by the villain. Shaggy isn’t aware of this as he’s sneaking around the carnival grounds trying to figure out where someone would keep the actually important prisoner. I feel like a comically large circus tent would be a cool location for the climax of a movie Scooby’s probably in there. But when Shag gets there he’s quick to hide (like under the seats or something) and this is how he’s able to finally see the whole puzzle put together.

The gang escapes rather quickly because say what you will about Danger Prone Daphne but she’s just as good at getting out of tough situations as she is at getting into them. And so begins the epic journey to find their boys (they escape and Velma just instantly goes, “It’s obviously the huge circus tent.”). And at this point it’s like a One Piece arc and all you want is the whole gang to be reunited again. But first we need a fun scene of the VFD trio trying to evade the henchmen to like a Smash Mouth song or something because remember this is Scooby-Doo.

Shaggy realizes he has to do something fast otherwise his dog is going to be used to open the Underworld. He runs out of the shadows without any real plan with just the goal of taking down the bad guy. But he doesn’t get there in time and the whole tent like erupts into green and blue flames as Cerberus stomps out of the gates and Shaggy is just frozen in place. The masked guy seems a tad surprised to run into Cerberus so fast but is quick to gain control of the beast. He orders the monster to start wreaking havoc on a nearby town something, he doesn’t care so long as he can enter the Underworld without distraction.

But before he can do that, he gets jumped by Shaggy who’s really only trying to keep him pinned down while he comes up with a step two. But Mr. Mask has some fight in him so it becomes this epic struggle between Shaggy, Scooby, and the bad guy while the place is still on fire and we have an epic orchestral score playing in the background.

Right when it seems like the villain has the upper hand, Daphne comes in and like roundhouse kicks him in the head, and he’s out cold. And before Shag and Scoob can react they’re dogpiled by the other three and it’s very heartwarming.

Fred eagerly ties the perp up and then we get our unmasking and it’s Scrappy-Doo!!! Just kidding that’d be stupid. I’m really not sure who would be the best surprise villain but if anyone has a good idea for one please let me know!

When the bad guy comes to, Velma starts shaking him to tell them how to get Cerberus back into the Underworld and how to close the gate. He reveals that all you need to do is whistle and he’ll go home (Cerberus is Hades’ domesticated puppy so obvi that would work). Maybe we get a gag where someone tries to whistle but it’s too hot in the tent for it to work and they’re like: “Does anyone have like some water?” And then Shaggy just rolls his eyes and whistles and boom, big angry puppy comes home. 

Daphne smiles and says, “I’m gonna have to add that to the list.” And Shag is like, “Like, the list of what?” And she explains that the gang has been putting together a list of all the things he brings to the team and it makes him happy that they’re putting in the effort.

We cut back to Velma torturing the info out of our mask on how to close the gates and he just evilly laughs and only a dog or dog’s best friend can close the gate. But, unfortunately, the gate will take them back down to the Underworld. The gang just sits in shock because there is no better option there.

But without missing a beat, Scooby decides he’s gonna do it and runs for the lock. He’s about to put his paw on the thingy when Shaggy beats him to it and nobody even gets a second to process before he’s sucked in and the gate vanishes.

The whole gang run to the spot where the gate used to be and Daphne falls to her knees crying, Scooby is digging at the ground trying to get to the gate and Fred has to get him to stop.

“I never even got to give him the list...” And Daph pulls it out and just drops it on the ground. Velma is on the verge of tears as she adds, “I still owe him an apology. I owe him a lot of apologies...” And as Fred is comforting Scooby he says, “We all do...” The scene ends with the gang all hugging Scooby and the list bursts into flames and disappears.

Then we cut to Shag in the Underworld and he’s just leaning against the gate and crying because what else is he gonna do? “At least I was finally useful to them...” He thinks and slowly begins to walk around and is surprised to see that the Underworld is prettier than he expected. 

“Thank my wife. She’s always looking for ways to brighten this place up so I don’t feel so miserable when she’s gone. “

Shag screams bloody murder and jumps like a ten feet before turning around and seeing a dude in a chiton. Surprise surprise, it’s Hades (Who can also be a celebrity cameo whatever). We get some nice banter before Hades holds up something and asks, “Is this yours?” 

Shaggy looks down and sees that it’s a piece of paper, he shakes his head.

“Really? Because it mentions you an awful lot.”

Evidently it got snagged on the way down and ended up in Hades’ lap - he’s certain he wouldn’t have even noticed that Shaggy was there if it weren’t for that. And then Shag’s face lights up and he realizes it must be the list, as he reads it we cut to all of the times Daphne thought to write these down on their trip. Finally he believes that he’s useful to the team, that he is a valuable part of the gang. 

Hades looks at him and just says, “How do they survive without you?” 

And Shag just shrugs and goes, “Believe me, like, I have no idea.”

Hades smiles and replies, “Then you best not keep them waiting.” Before snapping his fingers and poofing Shaggy back home.

When he gets there, the gang are slowly making their way out of the tent so they don’t see him. So Shag takes the opportunity to say, “I read y’all’s list.” And everyone instantly makes a 180 turn with their eyes super wide and he continues, “You know I think you missed a few but it’s the thought that counts.” And then we get dogpile number two of the movie.

The final scene is the gang opening up Mystery Inc. and them asking Shag where the entertainment is and he’s just like, “I asked our surprise investors to put something together for us...” And then we get the Hex Girls performance we deserve and I can totally buy them investing in Mystery Inc. because they freaking love Shaggy and Scooby so.

We get an ending shot of the gang going off to solve their first monetized mystery (we could have like a soft instrumental version of the first theme song playing) and then we fade to the end credits where we get the What’s New Scooby-Doo theme.

[jackcinephile]

L'Inferno (1911) Movie Review!

As promised, we're gonna be celebrating this Spooky Season with a Devilman Crybaby headcanon! In order to fully express my HC, I will be reviewing icons of horror cinema and literature that helped contribute to many of the themes and ideas that are prevalent in Go Nagai's original manga. So, without further ado, let us descend into the Blind World. Put all fear and cowardice aside. I will be your guide through this eternal place, where you shall hear the shrieks and see the tormented spirits who all bewail the second death.

And how appropriate? Because our first film is the 1911 adaptation of The Inferno by Dante Alighieri. I suppose it's only right to begin this saga of horror films with one of the first horror films ever made. Okay, "first horror film" is actually debatable, so keep in mind that I said "ONE of the first." In any case, it remains one of the most important landmarks in horror cinema.

"Stopped, in the middle of what we call life,

I looked up and saw no sky, but rather a dense cage of leaf and tree and twig,

For I was lost."

The film opens as the iconic poem does. Dante Alighieri is a middle-aged man who finds himself lost in a dark, gloomy forest. This opening of the story always had a way of making me feel somewhat lonely and isolated. In my interpretation, I always saw this forest as being symbolic of how Dante felt after the death of Beatrice. Allow me to explain...

For those who don't know, Dante met a young girl named Beatrice when they were both nine years old. The young boy immediately fell in love with her, even though they hardly interacted. Despite their lives continuing in separate directions, Beatrice had always and forever held a special place in Dante's heart. When he received word that she had died, Dante was absolutely devastated. He felt that she deserved to be immortalized in what he intended to be his magnum opus; The Divine Comedy.

I believe that this opening to the Inferno is actually Dante going to a journey to find Beatrice so that he could say goodbye to her. Along the way, he got lost, both literally and spiritually. That, in my opinion, is what this forest symbolizes. In many ways, this opening kind of reminds of the opening to Silent Hill 2, just from how dismal it is.

Having said all that, I think the film does a very poor job of conveying those emotions. Sadly, I just don't feel any of the despair that was present in the original poem. He just wanders around for a few seconds, then steps out into a clearing. But don't worry! As soon as Dante steps into the clearing, the film IMMEDIATELY gets better. Upon entering this clearing, Dante finds himself at the base of, what I believe to be, Mount Purgatory. I can only assume that's where he is, because the gates of Hell are at its base, and Dante seems to suggest the gates of heaven are at its summit, just like Purgatory. Unfortunately, his path is blocked by three ravenous beasts: a leopard, a lion, and a she-wolf, all representing different Earthly sins. He runs back the way he came, before being rescued by a strange apparition. It's here that the film begins to remind us all of why the original poem is regarded as a self-insert fanfic...

Upon introducing himself to the apparition, Dante learns that it is the actually the ghost of Virgil, author of the Aeneid. The significance of Virgil being in the story is that he was Dante's favorite poet of all time, and Dante always longed to meet and interact with him. It's literally a self-insert fanfic of Dante meeting and interacting with all of his inspirations. It's honestly a mystery to me why I love The Inferno so much, because it's everything I hate! It's a Catholic's fanfic about why he sees himself and his friends as morally superior and why everyone he ever disagreed with is going to Hell. Somehow, in spite of all that, I still love it.

So why did Virgil even decide to help Dante in the first place? Well, remember when I talked about Beatrice dying? It turns out, she descended from Heaven into Hell to ask him for help, because she knew how important he was to Dante. She tasked Virgil with being Dante's guide, after seeing that he has gone astray.

This is where the film's innovation starts to take shape. Beatrice has often been drawn as having a halo around her head. The problem is, how do you show that in a film made in 1911? The effect was strikingly realized with, what I assume to be, spinning rods covered in reflective material. I can only guess this is how it was done, but it appears right to me, because that's how a similar effect was created for the lightsabers in the original Star Wars. It looks like the rods were placed behind the actress, so that the rig couldn't be seen, making it appear as if the light was emanating from her head. This scene also displays an early appearance of wire work on film. In those days, that shit wasn't easy. It was even harder to hide the effect, which this film does fairly well.

So, Virgil explains to Dante that he must take him on a pilgrimage through the three different stages of the afterlife. To be perfectly honest, I never understood why. Maybe I'm just an idiot with little to no reading comprehension. It's also a factor that I haven't read parts II and III of the Divine Comedy, so maybe it's elaborated better in there. From what I gathered, since Dante is going on a journey to find the literal Stairway to Heaven (Led Zeppelin intensifies) Virgil needs to take him to Hell and Purgatory, so he can face his sins and better appreciate Paradise. And thus, Virgil's pilgrimage to lead Dante through the Afterlife begins!

"Through me, the way to the City of Woe

Through me, the way to everlasting pain

Through me, the way among the people lost

Divine Power made me

Eternal I endure

Abandon Hope, all ye who enter here"

That is the inscription above the Gates of Hell. It is here, that Dante is already planning on turning back. Virgil literally tells him to stop being a pussy, and I was satisfied. Once they enter the gates, it becomes apparent to the viewer, if it hasn't already, that this isn't just an adaptation of Dante's work. This film is actually a cinematic translation of the ICONIC illustrations by Gustave Dore that were created in the middle of the 19th century. So much care and detail was put into recreating his AMAZING artwork, that many consider to be his magnum opus. This film was basically the Zack Snyder's Watchmen of its day!

Those familiar with the story will recognize this iconic scene that is being recreated onscreen. Dante and Virgil have come to the shores of Acharon, where the souls of the damned board Charon's vessel to be taken before Judge Minos, who lives in Limbo.

Speaking of Limbo, that is the first spiral of Hell Dante visits. This is where good people who weren't Christians come to face eternity. Their punishment is meant to be the denial of Paradise, but if you ask me, it doesn't seem so bad. Apparently Dante felt the same way, because this is where he meets his other great inspirations, such as Homer and Ovid! The poets all enjoy their visit together before Virgil must take Dante on his way. This is honestly the part that makes me cringe the most. Nothing reeks of self-insert fanfic more than meeting your idols and being greatly respected by all them. This is exactly why I abandoned my Silent Hill fanfic.

Anyway, Minos's throne lies at the lower boarder of Limbo. The king himself appears as a giant naked bearded man with a snake tail. The tail is used to determine the punishment of sinners by wrapping around Minos's own neck multiple times. However many times the tail coils determines which spiral the sinner is sent to.

And here we get to my favorite scene in the whole film: Lust! This spiral perfectly displays the true innovation of special effects. In this spiral, sinners are punished by being caught in a tumultuous whirlwind. The wind symbolizes the tumultuous feelings that arise between lustful lovers. It's one of Dore's best illustrations, and it blows my mind that the filmmakers were able to recreate it so well!

Our two pilgrims move onward to the Spiral of Gluttony, where we come across Cerberus. He guards this spiral, but Virgil subdues him by throwing a clump of dirt in his face (still more respectful than Lore Olympus). Honestly, Gluttony is nothing to write home about. It's just a raining landscape with people laying in the mud. Still, I have to give credit for the meticulous recreation of Dore's art!

Down in Greed, who else do we find guarding this spiral, other than Plutus?

SIDE NOTE: I've read a very strange "translation" of his dialogue. The original line reads, "Pape Satan, Pape Satan, allepe!" Strangely, no one seems to agree on what exactly this means, so most translations are different. Particularly, in the case of Douglas Neff, he translates "Pape" to "Papa," which is strange because "Pape" means "Pope" in Itialian. Then, he changes "allepe" to "you are my king." Let's also not forget that Plutus was also occasionally used as an epithet for Hades and/or Pluto. This means Douglas Neff literally wrote Hades to say, "Daddy Satan, I worship you" (still more respectful than Lore Olympus)!

In the Spiral of Greed, the sinners are forced push heavy sacks of gold around for eternity. Once again, this scene is nothing special, but still an admirable recreation of the illustrations that inspired it.

The next scene, however, shows off more of the innovative talent that makes this film so amazing! Virgil and Dante move on to the Spiral of Anger, where the sinners are punished by being submerged in the black sludge of the River Styx. The only way across is by boat. This is where Phlegyas comes in. The two poets stand by a giant tower which they use to signal for passage to the City of Dis. Along the way, the boat is stopped by Dante's political and intellectual rival, Philipo Argenti. It's here that one realizes just how petty Dante truly was. "Oh, I disagree with you politically. Therefore, you deserve to drown in sludge for all eternity!" He sounds like people I used to know. Hell, he sounds like me in high school!

All while this is going on, we see an amazing special effect of a double exposure of Dis in the background. It's an amazing miniature of the city's outer wall, optically printed to take up the entire top half of the screen.

Finally, they make it to the other side of the river, where we actually get a cameo by Hades' and Persephone's children! No, not Zagareus, Makaria, and Melinoe. None of those people were Hades' and Persephone's children. I'm actually referring to the Erinyes (also known as, the Furies). They block Dante's entrance to the city's gates, so Virgil calls upon the aid of an Archangel to rid them of the Furies. It is here that Dante asserts the superiority of Christianity over the Hellenistic faith (still more respectful than Lore Olympus).

Within the City of Dis, Hell begins to look more like how we always imagined, with fire and brimstone. In the Spiral of Heresy, sinners are stuffed into eternally burning ovens embedded in the ground.

Beyond that is the only omitted sequence from the poem. In the original Divine Comedy, the Spiral of Violence is originally guarded by the Minotaur! Beyond that are sinners, stewed in a boiling river of blood (The Phlegethon). On the banks, we see a heard of Centaurs practicing their archery on them. These are the individuals who were violent towards other people. In order to cross the river of blood, Dante and Virgil must ride on the back of one of the centaurs. You know, having heard of centaurs' notorious reputation for being horrible rapists, it makes me concerned for the sake of our Pilgrims. Maybe they didn't include this in the film because they couldn't figure out how to make a centaur?

On the other side of the Phlegethon, Violence continues into the suicide forest (*Logan Paul reference here*). Here is where sinners, who were violent against themselves, are punished. Once judged to this spiral, they grow into trees. The symbolism being that trees are a symbol of life, of which these sinners have deprived themselves. I'm surprised this scene isn't more controversial. After all, seeing as how seriously mental health has been taken recently, it's fucking awful to tell someone they're going to Hell for committing suicide! As a peice of horrific imagery, I love this scene, but knowing that Dante actually believed this makes me despise it.

In addition to being a horrifying concept, this scene also includes one of the first instances of bloodshed in a horror film. Virgil explains to Dante that he can speak with the sinners if he breaks one of their branches. When he does, blood sprays out of the tree like a drinking fountain!

After a brief conversation with the sinners, Dante moves on to the final section of violence, where people were violent against God. Here the sinners are punished in a desert that perpetually rains fire.

Now, not every special effect in this film is good. Because when Dante rides down to the eighth spiral on Geryon's back, it is such a stiff, unnatural, badly puppeteered marrianet that they couldn't even keep stable for the shot!

"There is a place in Hell called the Malebolge..."

Now, we get to my favorite part of the whole poem: The Spiral of Fraud. Here the deceivers are punished in a myriad of ways, depending on how they lied to others.

In the first Spiral of the Malebolge, those who pander towards others are mercilessly whipped for all eternity. This marks the first appearance of the classic image of the winged demons that we all know and love.

In the second spiral, the flattererers bathe in a stagnant pond of their own feces and vomit. This symbolizes the value of the words that they spew at other people. I think this might be where the expression, "You're full of shit," came from. Think about it; you say that to people whom you think are lying to you, and this is in the Spiral of Fraud.

Incidentally, this punishment was referenced in a Turkish horror film called Baskin -- a film about a small group of off-duty police officers who crash their car and wake up in Hell. In that film, the main characters realize they're in Hell when they find demon raping someone, while shoving her face in a bowl of her own face and vomit. Baskin is not a part of this HC, so I'll have to talk about it later. For now, I'll just say it's one of the best horror films I've ever seen!

In the third spiral, those who joined the Catholic Church for their own personal gain are buried head first, with their feet sticking out in the air.

In the fourth spiral, fortune tellers have their heads turned backwards. This prevents them from looking forward, symbolizing their attempts to see into the future.

In the fifth spiral, the sinners are repeatedly dipped in boiling tar. This scene is especially interesting because it shows that the demons we see aren't actually monsters. They're just creatures doing their jobs, punishing sinners. In fact one of the demons named Malecoda assigns a group of demons to help escort Dante and Virgil through the rest of the Malebolge. That, unfortunately, doesn't work out, however, because the demons are distracted by a sinner trying to escape, so Dante and Virgil move on alone. What's also unfortunate, is that other demons, who assume that Virgil and Dante are also sinners trying to escape, chase them into the next spiral. Luckily, each demon is confined to their own spiral, so they can't keep chasing them.

In the sixth spiral, the hypocrites are forced to wear robes made of solid gold. They also find Caiaphas nailed to the ground. As someone who has Jesus Christ Superstar on his top three list of favorite albums, I was happy to see Caiaphas get referenced.

In the seventh spiral, the thieves are bound by snakes, whose venom causes them to burn to ashes. One thief in particular gets attacked by a giant lizard that makes him into a lizardman (someone tell Alex Jones).

In the eighth spiral, the false advisors are eternally engulfed in flames.

In the ninth spiral, the sowers of discord are viciously mutilated. My favorite part about this scene is that it's one of the first instances of gore in a horror movie. The prophet Muhammad has been cloven from his belly to his throat with his guts spilling out all over the place. That's right! Muhammad is depicted in the Inferno. Not only that, but Gustave Dore drew him. Damn. Dante has no chill. Hey, the founder of the most homophobic religion in the world rots in eternal Hell? I'm not complaining! This kinda makes up for the portrayal of suicide victims.

In the tenth spiral, the falsifiers are punished with enternal leprosy.

At last, we make it to the Spiral of Treachery, at the center of the earth. Here, the traitors are frozen within the Lake Cocytus.

"Lo! Dis Himself!

Emperor of the Kingdom of Woe"

Finally, at the climax of this horrific epic, we see Satan, and it's not what you're expecting! He is in the very center of the lake, frozen up to his waist in ice, and forced to eat the three greatest traitors of all. His body is covered in course fur, and he has three heads and six wings. Satan's appearance in this story is disarming and almost pathetic in a way. You'd imagine Satan to be this fearsome king, but he's just shown to be suffering like everyone else. It's kind of sad, really.

The film ends with Dante and Virgil climbing down Satan's leg fur and ending up at the base of Mount Purgatory.

L'Inferno is one of the first true masterpieces of horror! It's hard to believe that this movie is almost 110 years old! Just think of how it would have been to see it in theaters for the first time when it was new. We owe it to this film for proving the language of Cinema could be used to tell the most epic stories possibly conceived.

You can watch the film for yourself here:https://youtu.be/cMUPbPOGPdM

Now, you're probably thinking, "What the Sam Fuck does any of this have to do with Devilman Crybaby?" Well, for starters, in Go Nagai's original manga, the character Asuka Ryo implies that Dante's Divine Comedy might have been based on a true story. This is futher validated when the demon Xenon appears and bears a strong resemblance to Dante's description of Satan. But beyond the surface-level details, let's discuss some of the deeper implications of what Hell actually is. Within this headcanon, the Afterlife is an entirely separate dimension, occupying the same space as our Earth, but invisible to our eyes. There is a way, however, to see and explore this separate dimension. You see, when different dimensions intersect at certain angles, they sometimes leave gaps through which we can come through and cross over to the other dimension. It was through one of these gaps that Virgil was able to find Dante. These angles and gaps between dimensions will be further explored in a later film.

[kateeorg]

Point-by-Point Scoob Analysis (second viewing, bc I’m bored)

Spoilers below!

Why Venice Beach, I have to wonder? And why this song? I don’t dislike it, but I’m curious about the reasoning

The gyro scene is really fun XD

Shaggy’s intro is perfect - the music, the “Casey’s Creations” and Mystery Machine aesthetics, just beautiful. You can see the little shake in his hand as he switches to the podcast - he’s so alone :(

“I lose a lot of balls” funny AND sad. And Young Sheldon being lonely is on point for him

Gyro meat  - convenient! But yeah, I can see how Shaggy’s weird lunch combos would be off-putting to others

Oh, he found him ON Halloween?? That’s so odd. (But on brand)

“Well mostly man. It’s mostly just the suit that’s falcon.”

“Like no way bruh” Really? That... sounds odd coming from Shaggy.

...Since when do young boys care about blood sugar? Also, “We’re okay with that” XD

Baby Fred, Daphne, and Velma are also perfect

...No. No no. RBG is not a Slytherin. But that, braces Velma and Hogwarts references very much modernize the series and put them firmly in modern day (without going too out there).

The kids are such badasses, it’s awesome

The replication of the original credits is *perfect* - they even got the original Space Creep sound 

Scooby handles the accounting? Also, how old are they supposed to be? If they’re expected to pay taxes and get called millennials, are they late 20s?

I’m really not convinced by the Simon Cowell bit, I’m sorry. They could have made him a bland British investor, not attached to the name. There really should have been some more time invested in this scene (but I AM glad Mystery Inc never agreed with Simon, or even considered he was right) (Also Simon - haven’t you heard of networking? Making friends to get ahead?)

Scooby bowling is such great physical comedy, and the chase is very Scooby Doo

Hyper-specific police code ftw

Falcon Fury!

You know Scooby and Shaggy are having a bad day when they’re *happy* to be in danger

The falcon entrance is admittedly funny

I really wish if Blue Falcon and Dynomutt had to have such a bug role, there’d been more about how Dynomutt feels about his original owner basically ditching him.  It seemed like that was supposed to have more significance, and then it didn’t.

The shake button XD and Dastardly is fantastic from the first

...right, because this script wasn’t also written by middle-aged men.

Also, how’d she know about the blue light?

Velma fanning out is fun

The robots make me uncomfortable, and I’m not sure why. 

Muttley <3

I appreciate that Falcon was trying to be resourceful.

“You’re now out of... everything.”

Scooby and Shaggy’s gift is to inspire - they’re the lucky charm

...And this is where I started to dislike Falcon. He’s just... he’s too dumb. The bravado is one thing, but  then Fred is a little too similar. I think Falcon is supposed to be a foil for Shaggy, but I don’t know... didn’t quite work for me.

OH! I didn’t get the connection between the Greek restaurant at the beginning and the Cerberus plot until now! Nice.

DeeDee deserves more credit, hands down. Honestly, make her Blue Falcon.

I love all the references in the arcade - Hex Girls, Hong Kong Phooey, LaffALympics

The fun house scene is really cool! And funny, so colorful

My mom really liked this bit with the Ferris Wheel and the bumper cars and the smoke cloud - more traditionally cartoony

And I started to dislike Falcon more here. -__- (Like you acknowledge Shaggy is hurting and then just decide let’s give the dog a super suit instead of focusing on the mission? 90% of what goes wrong in this move is his fault and I don’t like it)

Okay. I get that Shaggy is really insecure. And Scooby isn’t reassuring him at all. But it feels like there’s more going on here, and I wish he’d had the chance to talk about it more than he did to give us more context. (But I still maintain this is less contrived than Shaggy falling for that Mary Jane girl in the live action film, so I’ll let it pass)

I actually really like Daphne’s characterization as the people person (though I feel real bad Grey DeLisle wasn’t given a chance to voice her), and how the gang are quick to realize how much Shaggy and Scooby contribute. They were never down on them, but it’s still important. 

Messick Mountain :)

Velma as Dynomutt was great

I do really like the plot and how it ties to friendship. Also, Muttley is perfect, my parents loved him.

Poor man’s Hemsworth

I initially questioned whether Scooby would really be safer off the ship. But of course that’s not the point - this kicks off the conflict. Remember kids: NEVER give someone an ultimatum. 

I appreciate that this was the only poop joke in the movie. Unlike the original Scooby Doo movie...

And now Shaggy realizes he was an ass. But seriously - the “Shaggy’s refusal to change is tearing them apart” thing needed a little more finessing. I see where they were going, but didn’t quite make it home.

The Captain Caveman bit was a little... eh? Not sure what I’d put there instead. It does the point of showing Falcon and Scooby they’re not really traditional hero material.

Scooby looks so sad as he gets taken :(

See, this is where I feel like Falcon and Fred were too similar, though it is pretty funny

See... I don’t think this speech was earned. It’s beautiful. If I saw it in isolation it would be great. But something was missing in the buildup. I can’t see how Shaggy made it from “I screwed up” to “Friendship changing is okay.” 

This whole Athens bit is so beautiful and cinematic, I hope this gets a chance to be in theaters someday!

Flying mystery machine! 

FLUFFY!

Mystery Inc reunion <3 But poor Fred, his van up in flames

(Someone set this to “Your Wagon is On Fire” from Trail to Oregon!)

Dastardly and Muttley is actually pretty sweet, but not a Scooby-Shaggy redux. (My parents love the snicker)

THE ASCOT RETURNS! But this is usually the part where he figures out a trap.

Scooby and Shaggy growing and embracing their roles on the team <3

“I’m so weak” - my parents and I laughed hysterically at this

The Dynomutt-Falcon moment was nice :) (again, not sure it was earned). Also, cool wings are cool.

This really is a Scooby Doo Avengers

Shaggy becomes important in the worst possible way :( 

“Back when we were kids, you saved me. Now it’s my turn.” Damn with the feeeeels

Scoooby :( 

“But why would Alexander make a gate that would separate him from his best friend forever?” Martyrdom is not the only way, y’all

Aw, Dynomutt is trying

Had to throw in an unmasking

I guess they got backing after all! 

(Wait... was Dick Dastardly the Simon Cowell at the beginning??? That would make so much sense, actually!! Is this confirmed?! )

Don’t know how I feel about the new Mystery Machine, but Fred is happy :)

DeeDee deserves a raise

Falcon Force! Falcon realizes he needs friends too. But Dastardly is at large...

Okay, second watch was less off-putting. I do like it! It’s colorful and sticks to the cartoon, and there’s clearly so much love here, for Scooby and all of Hanna Barbara. Admittedly, this isn’t really a mystery - it’s a superhero origin story, which admittedly the trailers should have prepared me better for. But we’ve seen Scooby mysteries on the big and small screen, so I see why they had to change it up to justify such a blockbuster animation project. (Not unlike Recess: School’s Out going from middle school slice of life to save-the-world adventure.) And we do get mystery-solving shenanigans in the beginning.

But as a result, things do feel a tad bit dumbed down, particularly with Blue Falcon, Fred, and Shaggy’s development. I don’t love that aspect, but I can see why that compromise had to be made.

So all in all, I think it’s a solid film! It’s more Trolls than Pixar, but honestly? Not sure I’d have Scooby Doo any other way. 

[ichor-hunter]

Blood Veils

“Equipment developed to provide protection and efficiently drain the blood of opponents in battle. Incorporating the user’s blood improves its defensive qualities, and blood absorbed from foes is purified and delivered internally.”

Blood Veils are armour and it also functions as a weapon for draining blood. There are four kinds of Blood Veils in the game:

Ogre-type

Stinger-type

Hounds-type

Ivy-type

Before we expand on these different Veils, let’s try to understand how they work. Each Veil depending on the type is different in its own way, but the one thing that remains the same is how they are made. As you can see with a few of the Blood Veils, you may see some wired cords either connecting to the blood of a Revenant or it’s supplying a Revenant’s blood in a separate slot like purifier masks (For example, the other Veils such as Stinger, Hounds and Ivy could hold the Revenant’s blood in a separate compartment because of how it was designed). There’s also some muscle like tissue embedded into the Veil, although whether it’s based on a by-product of BOR parasites or materials used to make the Veil is still vague to me. This is how it is for the Ogre-type Veil:

The drain attack transforms that very arm into a claw and drains the opponent of their blood/ichor. From the image above, you see there are cords showcasing the blood of the user in them along with how it connects with the arm that’s used for drain attacks. Since we use different metals that contains blood from the Queen, the Blood Veils are interlaced with BOR parasites. These metals also contribute to the infrastructure of a veil since we see parts of metal and gears (eg.the hounds veils show a gear mechanism) and it’s thanks to the Queen’s blood contained in these metals. The metals were probably very flexible and manipulative since Revenants use them with their weaponry and other things. “Some revenants tried to grind down the material in hopes of becoming rich, but were left with useless dust.”-Queen Steel. From the description alone, these precious minerals were highly valued because of the versatility of it. With BOR Parasites within the Veil, they come to life when initiating a drain attack or a successful parry.

As you can see via the image above, small particles emanate from the veil when it’s being launched and retracted. It’s just like Revenants dispersing in battle or teleporting to a mistle. With BOR parasites incorporated into the Veil, BOR parasites crave for blood (and they’ll get their blood via drain attack) however since their host is an inanimate object, BOR parasites can only feed off blood through a third party since it can’t control the organs or be active in an inanimate object. Only when the BOR parasite detects a Revenant’s blood through the Veil, it will activate. If it doesn’t sense or intake any blood, it remains dormant.

With the Blades/Claws incorporated into a Veil, it’s most likely based on the metals we use to upgrade the veils. With strong metal types such as Queen Steel to Queen Tungsten, these blades become sharper and stronger.

Ogre type veils have their drain weapon imbedded on a Revenant’s right arm.

Stinger type veils comes from the large stinger on the back of their blood veil.

Hound type veils is incorporated in both of a veil’s sleeves. (And that’s why a Revenant would wear it as a cape rather than putting their arms through the sleeves).

Ivy type veils come from the scarves of the veil.

My hypothesis that the BOR parasite’s physical drain form depends on how the Blood Veil is designed like how there are different species of the Lost. For example, the Hounds veil takes on that form due to having the Revenants blood and the blades designed within the sleeves of the Veil. It turns into the hounds due to the lore behind it.

There’s also an instance when a Revenant charges their drain attack/achieve a successful parry and their purifier mask changes. I find this is connected to the veil rather than the purifier masks by itself. (Now that I’ve obtained the artbook and seen the designs, this has been disproven but I’ll still leave the description I’ve already written until I do a purifier masks post).  More wires appear from the veil, embeds themselves within the mask and transforms it into a different form, which causes the Revenant’s eyes to turn red as if they’re going through bloodlust/bloodthirst. My assumption is through their charge attack, the Revenant would take in more blood, and the mask transforms to fortify their initial mask.

Blood Veils drain blood from an opponent. I’m going to guess that a Revenant would drain blood directly from the opponent, the mask has to change to compensate the draining process. Since the blood is contaminated before the purification process, Purifier/Drain Masks helps to prevent bloodthirst and going into a frenzy from taking in blood before it’s purified. The change of the mask makes it less likely for a Revenant to go into a frenzy/turning into the Lost by directly draining the Lost’s blood. (Is my poor guess here really.)

Ogre-Type Blood Veils

The Ogre-Type is a one-handed claw attack. It’s for those who are right-handed. The term Ogre originated from the French language while the source of the word Ogre is based from the Etruscan god Orcus who is the a God of the Underworld (In similar standing with Hades but through different Mythology). Orcus was known to feast on human flesh, so it’s a reference from his particular lore. Also, ogre’s in general are considered monsters/demons in various cultures.

Stinger-Type Blood Veils

The Stinger-Type veil is a retractable large stinger camouflaged within a Revenant’s Blood Veil. It’s likely linked with a scorpion stinger as there are scorpions featured in Greek Mythology. The origin of the Greek tales lies with the death of Orion, who was killed by a scorpion sent by Gaia after Apollo was jealous of Orion being close with Artemis. Ironically, Mia uses this type of Blood Veil as her Blood Code is based off from Artemis.

Hounds-Type Blood Veils

The Hounds-type veil feature two large hounds that transform from the sleeves of a blood veil to devour and drain blood. This Blood Veil is easily based on Cerberus (no not the Provisional Government) from Greek Mythology. Cerberus is a multi-head dog which is also known as the hounds of Hades. Normally you see Cerberus with 3 heads right? And you wonder why there’s only two that comes out from the Veil? Because the Revenant is considered the third head of the beast itself. It makes sense through careful observation, the two heads drains while the third head (which would be the Revenant) would launch their attack/intake the blood. Either or works for this Blood Veil.

Ivy-Type Blood Veils

The Ivy-Type veil involves two long scarves on the back of the Veil. When they’re launched into the ground, the scarves become a bed of blades sprouting from the ground. While charging your Ivy drain attack, you can move the swirl of black mist location at long-ranged targets. This Blood Veil is based on the Greek God Dionysus who is known for wine, vegetation and others. He is seen with a crown of Ivy, and it matches with the crown that appears on a Revenants head when using the Veil. The blades coming up from the ground relates to Dionysus rule over vegetation.

This post may be expanded in the future based on DLC and discussion posts.

[xteenwolfwritingsx]

You Know Better - Part 33 - Final Preparations

-gif source-

Story Description: Peter and the reader develop a slow relationship.

Part Description: The pack makes their final plans to end this.

Warnings/Labels: None

Approx. Word Count: 2,000

A/N: Slowly but surely, we keep going! Things are going to be coming to a close fairly soon, but there’s still so much to come.

Story Masterpost

Peter holds onto your hand as you wait outside the hotel. The day is cold, the threat of snow tickling the air. His thumb runs over your skin, leaving a trail of warmth as it glides back and forth.

He’s on alert, eyes watching each person as they come and go and keeping you close. You’re not entirely sure if he’s holding your hand simply because he wants to, like his touch implies, or if he’s preparing to yank you back from anything that might appear and try to snatch you away. You’re not complaining either way.

It doesn’t take long for Chris to pull up in his SUV. Peter opens the front passenger side door and ushers you inside quickly, putting his hand on your hip as you climb in. He shuts the door for you and quickly hops into the backseat, sitting in the middle and not bothering with a seatbelt.

“No problems, I assume?” Chris directs his question to you as he drives away from the hotel.

“None that I know of.” You twist in your seat to look at Peter. “Your werewolf senses go off at all?” you tease.

“No.” His tone is firm, but you catch the way his lips hint up into the smallest smile. You flash him one of your own before turning back front.

“So where do we stay tonight?” you question. “Something tells me we’re not going to take this woman out in a day.” You see Chris glance in the rearview mirror to catch Peter’s eyes. It’s some kind of quiet communication, checking with him before he responds and you can feel the mood in the car shift.

“Depends on what happens.” Chris is a little too vague for your liking and you wonder exactly what answer he would have given if Peter wasn’t in the vehicle. You brush off the feeling that they’re hiding something from you, hoping it’s nothing. “If things work out, hopefully you can stay in your own home tonight. If it’s not safe, we’ll get you another hotel room.”

“And Peter?” you press, not missing the way Chris aimed his answer at you only. You turn to look at him. “Am I still staying with you?”

“At this point I don’t really intend to let you out of my sight unless there’s a damn good reason.” There’s something off about the way he says it. He tries just a hint too hard to make it sound sincere and caring and while there’s an honesty behind it, it only feels like a half truth. You lower your brow at him, a silent question which he refuses to answer or acknowledge. You swing your eyes to look at Chris, hoping to see something in him that will tell you what’s going on, but he just stares straight ahead at the road.

You make the decision not to push it just yet. You sit back in your seat and try to put any pieces you can find together to predict what kind of shoe is going to drop.

The rest of the ride to Deaton’s is quiet and slightly tense. Thankfully, the ride isn’t too long and before things start to feel awkward, Chris pulls up to the back of the clinic. By the looks of the cars in the parking lot, you’re the last ones to arrive.

Peter doesn’t take your hand when you walk in, but he stays nearby, his arm brushing yours as you walk. You almost slip your arm around his waist, but you’re not sure if you’re quite at the “public displays of genuine affection” stage yet.

Everyone is scattered around the back room, some standing and some, particularly Stiles, sprawled out in chairs. It looks like they’ve been there a while, but that could just be the tension and exhaustion of the upcoming fight weighing down on them all. You notice Derek standing next to Deaton and smile widely.

“Thank God,” you say, relieved to see him not tied up to tubes in a hospital. You break away from Peter to throw your arms around him in a tight hug. He returns it warmly. “You’re doing alright then?” you check as you pull away.

“I’m fine. Still a little sore in places, but healing should be back up to normal in an hour or so.” He pats your arms and releases you. His chin tilts up in the smallest motion, both ushering you back to Peter and giving him a greeting at the same time. It would be insignificant to just about anyone else, but it’s the first real indication that he’s accepted you and Peter as… a thing.

“Keep it that way this time.” Peter tells him in his usual fashion. Derek scoffs and turns back to the table in front of him. “We’ve got a plan as I understand it?” This is the first you’re hearing about it, but you hide your surprise well.

“Details should be worked out a little, but yeah,” Scott confirms. “We’ve got a plan.”

“Let’s hear it,” you say, coming up to the opposite side of the table as Derek, ready to get this worked out.

You spend the entire conversation watching everyone carefully, trying to pick up any signs of someone withholding information. Peter stays by your side and mostly silently, not contributing much more than occasional snark. Nothing seems to be out of place though.

“Sounds like killing this witch is going to be as simple as killing a human,” you chime in part way through. The sentence sounds strange as you say it. “I mean, she essentially can be killed the same way a human can,” you rephrase. “We don’t need a magic bullet or an ancient weapon, right? An ordinary rock to her head would even do the trick.” Peter smirks at your choice of murder, but you notice the way Scott shies away and cringes. He still wasn’t fully on board with killing, but even he saw there wasn’t another viable choice.

“Essentially, yes.” Deaton sounds just slightly amused with your way of putting it as well.

“Alright, so Peter!” Stiles points to the man next to you, volunteering him. “You just walk up to her and rip her throat out, yeah?” You find it humorous that both Hale men give Stiles the same you’re stupid look.

“Strategically, Derek and Peter need to be used for distraction.” Chris interjects, squashing Stiles’ plan to sacrifice Peter.

“Stiles,” you chuckle. “Quit trying to kill my men.” There’s a moment after the words leave your mouth that you panic and you wait for the weird looks, the surprise and awkwardness at the fact that you claimed Derek and Peter.

“They’ve both threatened to kill me before,” Stiles responds quickly not even giving the room a chance to take in what you said. “It’s only fair I reciprocate!”

The room goes back and forth for a few moments, getting off track and either scolding Stiles or giving him merits for his quip. Peter looks down at you and you see that softness in his eyes and a slight small dancing on his lips. As the conversation moves back towards an actual plan, his hand slips behind you and around your waist for a brief moment before running up to rest on your lower back. You find yourself trying not to blush at his touch.

“What about the Cerberus?” Allison speaks up. “What do we do about it?”  

“Fortunately, killing the witch is actually the first step in sending it back to the spirit world,” Deaton explains. “Breaking the bond between owner and pet.” He pauses. “Unfortunately, without that bond, the Cerberus is untied and wild. It won’t need a reason or command to kill, but will likely kill anyone it comes across.” The optimism in the room starts to fade quickly.

“So, we need to contain it?” Derek speculates, looking down at the books scattered around. “Make sure it’s with us when Kayla dies so we can take care of it right then and there.”

“Preferably.” Deaton reaches out and points to a page in one of the books. “After she’s dead, someone will have to wound it with a sword laced with blood.”

“Any kind of blood?” you ask hopefully. Deaton’s eyes flash up to you as if there’s a small part of him that enjoyed leading you on.

“Hades’ blood.” There’s a collective sigh from most of the room. The Hales roll their eyes.

“That’s the literal translation,” Lydia clarifies, scowling at Deaton. “Blood from anyone who has done evil things will suffice and since evil is a loose term it can be assumed that anyone who has committed murder will do.” Everyone’s eyes, including your own, instantly drift to Peter.

“I’m not the only one with blue eyes here,” he defends, looking pointedly at Derek. “And you,” he points to Chris. “Have made a living off of killing so don’t everyone start slicing me up here.”

“It doesn’t need to be much,” Deaton assures the group. “Even just a few drops will do.”

“You can take mine,” Derek volunteers if for no other reason than to prevent finger pointing and useless arguments. “What needs to be done after that?” he moves on, leaving no room for debate.

“It needs to be encircled in these symbols,” Deaton points to another book page showing a circle of Greek lettering you don’t understand. “Ideally, if you can prep the containment area with them beforehand, then things can move a bit quicker.”

“And then?” So far it didn’t sound toobad. Maybe not the easiest thing in the world, but it was all doable.

“Recite some Latin and throw some mountain ash on it and it’ll be gone.” Deaton closes a book for what you assume is dramatic effect.

“Why does this sound too easy?” Stiles asks, echoing your own thoughts.

“Yes, because everything about coordinating two locations, a murder, and the containment of a mythical creature from hell just sounds so easy,” Lydia responds sarcastically.

“Okay, well maybe not when you put it like that.”

The rest of the meeting revolves around smoothing out details and assigning tasks, most of which it seems had been previously decided among the eldest men in the group. Derek, Peter, Scott, and Allison would be dealing with Kayla while the rest of you dealt with the Cerberus. You try to object about being separated from Derek and Peter but they point out that while Kayla would go after the Hales herself, she’d send the Cerberus for you which gave the opportunity to get them apart.

You’re surprised when Peter agrees with the plan, but you’re floored when he volunteers you to be the one to wound the Cerberus. He throws your name out so casually that it takes you a moment to even realize what task he gave you.

“Not that I’m not willing,” you chime in, cutting him off. “But why me exactly?”

“Lydia and Stiles aren’t trained with a weapon,” Peter tells you, ignoring the offended look from Stiles. “And I’m sure as hell not trusting Argent to do it right.” Chris looks down, not engaging or arguing in any way which you’d question more if Peter hadn’t turned to face you and put his hands on your shoulders. “You know how to handle a blade and I’ve trained you to evade. All you have to do is stab and run which I know you can do.”

You glance at Derek, looking for some sign of… anything, but he’s blank. He’s manipulating you. You can hear his warning from before echoing in your mind. He’ll say he needs you to do something because he trusts you, only you.You start to feel a little nervous. Something doesn’t feel right. And you’ll do it.

“Yeah, okay,” you agree, pushing down that anxious, hot feeling in your gut. “Just give me the sword and tell me where to go.” You were being paranoid. If there was anything to worry about, Derek would be pouncing all over it. And you know Peter wouldn’t do anything like that. Not after everything you’ve been through.

Peter squeezes your shoulders lightly before letting you go. His hand slips back to your waist, still keeping you close and whether he means to or not, the gesture reassures you. You look down, trying to stop that blush again, completely missing the brief, conniving look and nod between Peter and Chris.

[osmw1]

Dimension Wave   Chapter 29 — Dimension Wave: Conclusion

—?!

It wasn’t clear who landed the final blow, but Cerberus let out as if he had been torn apart. At the same time, a flash of white light blinded everybody in the instance as they braced themselves for the next attack. The light dissipated and revealed white clouds on a backdrop of blue… just as the skies had been before all of this happened. White petals blew across the battlefield; we were now in a field of flowers in full bloom.

“We did it!”

Everybody was in high spirits and some were crying out from our shared triumph.

“Good job, team.” “Well done!” “That was a doozy.” “Hell yeah.”

A victory fanfare played in the background—this is an MMO, so of course it did. I sat down on the bed of flower as both my—as both Kizuna†Exceed’s body and mind were exhausted. The tension and anxiety I was holding back crushed me all at once now. It was extremely stressful avoiding getting hit as a Spirit.

—The first wave of Dimension Wave has been defeated!

The game popped up a message in my vision. There was also a ranking of who contributed the most. Let’s see where I placed…

—Overall rank #77: Kizuna†Exceed

Looks like I’m 77th place among all other players. There were a few other rankings as well.

—Total damage given rank #1: Tsugumi†Exceed

No surprise there. That scythe was great for crowd control.

Oh, there’s a ranking for resources contribution as well. Alto and Romina were in the top 10. They did a lot to back us up, eh?

Another category was “Everyday”. I assume that’s for like activities, like cooking and other roleplaying elements? I’m at #542 for that.

“Holy! Look! There’s someone who took 80,000 points of damage!”

That guy was #2 for most damage received, but who’s #1?

—Total damage received rank #1: Kizuna†Exceed

… hey, that name looks familiar! I fell prostrate on the ground. Now that I look at myself, my clothes had been unequipped, leaving me in my underwear.

Name/ Kizuna†Exceed Race/ Spirit Energy/ 19,550 Mana/ 8,100 Serin/ 46,780

Skills/ Energy Production X, Mana Production VII, Fishing Mastery IV, Hate & Lure I, Gutting Mastery IV, Cleaver III, Speed Gutting III, Naval Combat IV, Transmutation I

… well, that makes sense.

“Required level to equip… Energy, in my case…”

I never knew there was a level requirement for my clothes. They got unequipped because I don’t have enough Energy now, I assumed. Guess I don’t have much of a choice but to use my old equipment. I’m glad I kept everything in my inventory. I clicked out of the rankings and looked through other information.

—Buffs and item usage

There were patch notes for new skills, equipment, and other changes as well. More weapon types were added too. Something I was just talking about is the new specialization for scythes, called war scythes; dual blades derived from one-handed swords; and katanas from two-handed swords. I can’t tell for sure unless I check with the next one, but I’m sure there are new items and skills that are affected by each Dimension Wave.

Oh, hey, it said that fishing rods can now be equipped with reels. I’ve gotta get me one of those. I kept scrolling through the notes.

“Racial powers unlocked?”

That line caught my attention while I was skimming. First off, lemme see what’s in store for Spirits.

—Stone of Mediation implemented.

A crystal that allows its user to project their soul. Or, at least, that’s what this Spirit-exclusive rock claims to be able to do. Every Stone of Mediation has a different effect. Some may shorten the amount of time needed to produce Energy or reduce skills’ Energy usage.

Finally, it looks like we all get something from participating in Dimension Wave. Ranks 1-5, 6-100, 101-1,000, 1,001-5,000 all get different items.

And since I’m number 77, I should be getting something pretty decent. I clicked Yes on the dialog box asking me whether I’d like to receive my reward. Then, a slot machine with numbers and fruits on its reels popped up in my vision. After a quick spin, three icons of souls lined up in the center.

—Energy Blade obtained.

It looked so fitting for a Spirit like me, though the description looked far from normal.

Energy Blade Weapon type/ Not applicable Attack/ 0 Prerequisites/ Must be a Spirit User must have at least 2 Energy to equip this weapon. The user charges up the blade with Energy then unleashes all of it in one single blow. Beware that all charged Energy will be expended upon making an attack, regardless of its success.

All that’s there to the weapon is just its handle. It’s reminiscent of old movies and anime, like how the blade part would only appear if the sword chooses its wielder. It sounds cool and all, but I’ll hold off judgement until I try it out. Personally, I don’t have strong feelings either way. Since it’s a Spirit-exclusive weapon, it’s quite the oddball. I bet it’ll be tricky to use as well. At the very least, it’s not an option for me in my current state. It won’t be long until I’m back in business, so I’ll just keep it safe for now.

“Kizuna.”

Shouko showed up just as I had finished stowing away the Energy Blade into my inventory. Just like everybody else, I congratulated her with a “Well done out there”. But even though we’ve defeated the Dimension Wave, she looked less than happy. I couldn’t help but worry about her.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen?” “No, it’s just that… I overdid it out on the battlefield, causing you to suffer such terrible damage…” “Oh, that’s what’s bothering you? Don’t worry about it. The true winners in games are ones who enjoy themselves, isn’t that right?” “Still—”

Shouko seemed to be bothered about me losing my Energy. I had been swarmed by the mob, hurt myself in trying to protect Tsugumi, and nearly lost my life when I was drawing the boss’ aggro. Even if I had voluntarily done all that, she must be feeling guilty about all of the damage I faced. But I knew. I knew Shouko had tirelessly used her counterattack skill to protect me. Still, the fan-type weapon needs to be charged so, of course, she couldn’t block 100% of Cerberus’ attacks. Nevertheless, it was touching to hear that she had been thinking of me the entire time.

“More importantly, the sea! I mean, I’d love to head back out onto the water, but with the little Energy I have left, I’ll just be dead weight.” “Nonsense. I will help you reach… no, rather, I wish to be by your side and reach beyond the horizon together.” “I couldn’t ask for anybody better. I knew that before, but seeing you out there today, I’m even more sure of it.”

I can’t forget how graceful of an acrobatic Shouko was when facing Cerberus. And frighteningly, she’s as skilled as Tsugumi. Even though her prowess suits the frontlines much better, knowing her and her personality, I’m sure she’ll choose to stay with me. But I know better than to outright ask her to return to the frontlines.

“It’s been a long day. Let’s head back to the First and get some rest.” “Oh, but…” “Hmm?”

Shouko pressed her index finger to her lips, cueing me to stay quiet. Then, she looked over at Cerberus’ corpse. I get it now… gutting, eh? I was going to tell Roz and his party about the power of gutting-type weapons, but I didn’t get the chance to do so. I definitely had a hard time keeping cool back there. I mean, it’s only natural to get mad when someone insults you and your friends, right?

We made our way over to where Cerberus fell and eyed the other players. Many of them were already teleporting out of the instance since the raid was finished. The thriftier ones were walking home while the frontliners didn’t even bat an eye when they used their Tomes of Returning. Some of the braver ones were even saying how they’re headed off for the next battle. There were still too many people around for me to start gutting—that is if I still wanted to keep this a secret.

“Shall we stay here for a while? It’d be a waste to not enjoy the scenery.” “… yeah, why not?”

The bed of flowers was simply fantastic—both in the sense that it was beautiful but also unrealistically so. It’s almost as if the devs put it in here for us players to relax after the raid. Well, Cerberus’ corpse lying there kinda spoils the view though.

“Miss Kizuna!” “Oh, hey, Yamikage. Good work back there.” “I thank ye, but I bear exciting news.” “Ooh, what is it?” “I am now the highest ranked Spirit!” “Number one in the Energy rankings, eh?”

It’s no surprise for someone who has accumulated a total of more than a million Energy. I bet Circle Drain contributed a lot to her growth too.

“Where’s Sheryl anyway?” “… I have been here the whole time.” “Agh! Don’t scare me like that.”

Sheryl suddenly spoke up from behind me. I had no idea she was with us. It’s almost like she concealed herself or something. Well, I’m probably unperceptive because I’m just too tired.

Near the end of the raid, Sheryl was still fighting the mob to not get in our way. It’s boring, but someone’s gotta do it. Or rather, it shows exactly how considerate and attentive Sheryl is. Like that time with the bird-type monster who tried to run from us. She’s always there to back us up and to take care of loose ends. Anyway, it looks like we’re all back together now.

“I don’t think I need to explain much, but let’s enjoy the garden here while we’re waiting to do that thing I always do.” “‘Tis a splendid idea!” “‘kay.” “Yes, let’s.”

I’ll be honest. I’ve never sat around in a park to enjoy the cherry blossoms or anything like that in real life. But perhaps I’m still feeling the adrenaline rush from the fight, this was a little exciting. … I mean, as exciting as looking as flowers can be.

“It’s a little boring to sit around with nothing. I’ll make sure I take up cooking next time, so we can have a picnic or something.” “Will it not be straining your Energy reserves, Miss Kizuna?” “You’re right, but it’s something I should learn sooner or later. It’ll be useful for our voyage on the seas.” “That would not be a bad idea. We bring some food on board, but if we run out, we can rely on cooking.” “Since we have Shouko and Yamikage as specced purely for combat and Sheryl for crafting. I guess that leaves me as the team’s cook.” “… only if you’re okay with it.” “It’ll synergize well with my weapon type too.”

I’ll catch and cook our meals. Now that I think about it, I don’t do much with the fish after I catch them. Why didn’t I take up cooking sooner? The more I think about it, the more sense it makes. Hmm? It sounds like someone’s running up to us. It was Tsugumi and Roz’s party.

“Big brooooo!”

She barreled towards me and squeezed me tightly in her arms. Maybe because I’m low on Energy, but I didn’t have the strength to pry her off of me.

“That was some amazing support there, Kizuna.” “You too, Roz. Almost all of you are ranked in the top 100, right?” “Ah, we were just lucky.” “You guys wanna join us? We were just about to celebrate our victory.”

Roz looked like he thought about it for a quick second. Well, I don’t blame him for being hesitant in front of total strangers.

“I hate to say no, but we’ve got to get going.” “You guys heading out for more grinding?” “Nah, but we’ve gotta figure out our equipment and skills.” “Frontliners sure have it rough. Well, good luck with that then.”

They’re throwing themselves back out onto the battlefield right after a huge raid battle. Honestly, I’m ready to pass out already. Frontliners are just so impressive. Well, I mean, I’ve been in their position before too. I know just how addictive games can be. Roz didn’t look like he was here just to say hi.

“Anyways, I was hoping to talk to the girl with the fan.” “Yes? What is it?”

Shouko looked at him with suspicion. He’s gonna ask her to join their party, I bet. Well, after seeing Shouko perform like that during the raid, everybody should be begging her to join their parties.

“I was wondering if you’d like to join—” “No, thank you.”

She cut Roz off before he could even finish his sentence. Yamikage and Sheryl looked like they wanted to say something but judging by how quickly she rejected him, I don’t think anyone could change Shouko’s mind. It was a bit of a shock, frankly speaking. I wouldn’t have expected her to flatly reject him like that, given how considerate Shouko is. She was quick to understand what he wanted as well. But even for being such an upright and proper lady, Shouko has her brash moments too, I guess. To refuse him like that is not unimaginable. Rosette seemed a little taken aback as well.

“But with your skill, you’d be perfect for the frontlines.” “I will follow Kizuna no matter what.”

… I’ve knew from the get-go that Shouko is like that, but still, that’s super embarrassing for me. I can still remember how politely she bowed to me when we first met.

“I see… sorry for trying to poach your party member like that, Kizuna.” “No worries. That’s just how Shouko is.” “Yeah, I can tell… those bastards have no idea what they’re missing out on.”

I’m guessing he’s referring to Shouko’s previous party members. It’s easy to judge us Spirits by the rumors that surround us. A lot of people fall into a bad habit of blindly listening to whatever strategy sites or wiki pages instead of seeing it for themselves. It really is a shame for them. I’ve really hit it off with Shouko. Not only is she a great person, she’s real skilled at combat too.

“Alrighty, then we’ll be heading off.” “Gotcha. I can’t wait to fight alongside you guys again.”

Roz and his party waved goodbye before teleporting away. But my sister, Tsugumi, is still clung onto me like a koala.

“Listen…” “What’s good, bro?” “Your party’s gone already, y’know?”

Tsugumi looked over her shoulder to see no traces of her teammates anywhere. Then, she shook her head and looked at me.

“What’s up?” “… big bro, are you guys going to sit here and chill for a bit?” “That’s what we’re planning to do. What about it?” “…”

For some reason, Tsugumi was staring straight into my eyes. She only looks like this when she’s really concentrating at her games. She must be thinking long and hard about something. No one—not even Kanata—can break her concentration. It’s like Tsugumi gets into some sort of a trance. Shouko gets into a hyper-aware state like this sometimes too. But Tsugumi? She only gets like this when she’s doing something she likes… that is to say when only when she’s gaming. And seemingly as if she’s figured it all out, she beamed with a smile.

“Alright! I’ve made up my mind! See ya, big bro!”

Then, she disappears after using a Tome of Returning. What was that all about?

“Anyway. Let’s go enjoy the flowers, shall we?”

We sat around chatting until everyone around us had left.

contents: /prologue/ /ch001/ /ch002/ /ch003/ /ch004/ /ch005/ /ch006/ /ch007/ /ch008/ /ch009/ /ch010/ /ch011/ /ch012/ /ch013/ /ch014/ /ch015/ /ch016/ /ch017/ /ch018/ /ch019/ /ch020/ /ch021/ /ch022/ /ch023/ /ch024/ /ch025/ /ch026/ /ch027/ /ch028/ /ch029/ /next/

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[pip-n-flinx]

Little bit of Mass Effect Salt Incoming

So, one of my favorite twitch/youtube personalities recently released a video about his favorite series ever, mass effect! While I was initial thrilled (I didn’t even know he played ME tbh) I gotta say I’m a more than a bit salty about it. I still love him and and watch his stuff, clearly ain’t nobody perfect, but I want to get some things off my chest and most of the people I know who are into ME follow me here. SO here goes.

Here’s the thing, he absolutely hates one of my favorite characters from the franchise. He made jokes about leaving them to die, not regretting it, how horrible a character they are, and even references several moments in the first game as the source of his opinions. He goes into far less details from the 2nd and 3rd games in the franchise, but contends that they failed to change his mind.

Now, it will come as no surprise to some of you that he hates Ashley Williams.

For the sake of clarity, I’m going to get some stuff out of the way right here before explaining to you what he said and why I disagree:

- I have done multiple playthroughs of ME. One included the Ash Romance.

- Most of my playthroughs I romanced Liara.

- My opinions are not ‘ASH IS BEST GIRL CHANGE MY MIND’

- Before someone @’s me with some bullshit, I’d just like to observe I’ve heard a ton of Ash Hatred since I got into the fandom. I would be surprised if you were bringing something new to my attention when it comes to Ash. I’ve spent a great deal of my time playing this game and even more following other content creators of any medium I could find. Please Please Please PLEASE don’t waste your time regurgitating something you heard someone else say and I SWEAR BEFORE ALL THAT IS GOOD if I hear one more “She’s just a ____” comment I will end you no character in this series is “just” anything.

- THIS IS NOT KAIDEN ALENKO HATRED. I actually find the Virmire decision heart wrenching every time.

- Finally, before we move on, I’m not telling you how to play the goddamn game. I have enough trouble with Virmire, Horizon, and the Coup d’etat missions in my own playthrough, I have no intention of re-living the guilt and stress of it for someone else’s Shepard. I got enough emotional baggage from this game already thanks. MOVING ON “Ashley is a space racist.” ALRIGHT listen up kiddos. Her Grandfather, the one who started the Williams Curse? He did that by creating and signing off on Cerberus during the First Contact War. The pro-human splinter group founded during the first encounter and conflict with aliens that humanity experiences? That was her Grandfather’s Idea. And yes, she begins ME1 with some pretty racist commentary. “Can’t tell the aliens from the animals” is a reprehensible line. Now, I don’t think she says anything reprehensible when she talks to Shepard about not liking the aliens on the Normandy, but I can also agree that it comes from a place of fear and discomfort, and that definitely contributes to the argument that she’s a space racist. HOWEVER: what a lot of the Ash haters miss is a moment after Virmire on the Citadel, in the wards, when a isolationist xenophobic populist party known as the Terra Firma party approaches Shepard asking for their support in the next election. This comes after Ashley has had a chance to work with Wrex, Garrus, Tali, and Captain Kirrahe. She DRAGS the leader through the muck, stating that while she likes some of the parties platform the party is full of racists and the refusal by the Terra Firma leaders to denounce the racist comments and racists members of the party is enough to lose them her vote already. She gets so heated about Shepard has to command her to stand down. You don’t get to cherry pick her interactions from ME1 and ignore her character growth. She also falls right into her big sister roll with Tali almost immediately. She tells Tali that it took years to get women accepted in the military. When Tali responds that the Migrant Fleet doesn’t have the luxury of sexism, she replies “sounds great, but I don’t think I could get used to the uniform.” In ME2 she refuses Shepard’s offer, despite earlier referring to Shepard as “a god back from the dead.” Why does she refuse? Because Shepard is working with Cerberus, the organization her GRANDFATHER CREATED. She’s all for the Alliance, and the Alliance is either working with or directing the Citadel Council having earned an honored spot after the Geth attack 2 years before. She is committed to working with the government that is dealing with the other races and refuses to work for Cerberus even though you could argue its in her blood and definitely in her upbringing. Honestly, I can’t fathom why people bring up this scene when trashing Ash, this is a moral stand from a woman accused of being a racist and the flip flop here even from people in the fandom I respect is baffling to me. In ME3 there are a whole plethora of scenes you could pick from but I want to talk about her reuniting with Tali. She immediately tells Tali to drop rank with her, observing they’ve been through enough together that the rank isn’t important. This is especially poignant to me if Tali herself is exiled after the events of ME2.

“Ashley is just a soldier, she doesn’t have any personality beyond that.” BULLSHIT she doesn’t. She’s struggled to find her place in the military due to the family stigma around her grandfather, so she hangs a ton of her personal identity on her family. She’s a supportive older sister, an adoring daughter, at least passingly religious if only because “there are no atheists in a foxhole.” She calls her sisters regularly, tells stories about growing up with them, mourns her late father and reads a ton of poetry, demonstrating a more critical appraisal of literature than Shepard, Vega, Joker, or even Kaidan (”its about not giving up?” is that the best you’ve got Shep? thats pathetic.) Whats more, she doesn’t just read one poet, she picked up some poems from both her “sappy” dad and more pragmatic mom. She’s also a great window to military families in ME, which you can’t really say for Kaidan or 2 out of 3 Shepard backstories. I think in a story about a war to end all wars it would be a disservice to not write about all the widowed men, women, an aliens who are living not quite far enough from the war.

“Why can’t she just trust Shepard? Why does she have to refuse to help in ME2 and then be so standoffish in ME3?” Honestly? If my lover had been declared KIA and then magically came back working under cover for a shady organization with a history of criminal crimes like murder and torture I TOO would have trust issues. I feel like we often gloss over just how horrible an organization Cerberus really is. Even ignoring the “they rebuilt you” angle which gets EVEN CREEPIER in the first Mars mission in ME3 I can’t imagine immediately flip flopping between Cerberus are war criminals to my best friend presumed dead is working for them to its alright now totally nothing out of the ordinary that compromised my opinion of their judgement took place.

So I just can’t see the Ashley Williams hate. I can see leaving her behind (no I can’t, no one ever dies in this series, how dare you tell me anyone dies?) on Virmire. But I just can’t fathom the hatred.

With all that said Kaidan is not boring, Ash is more than a racist soldier, and I love all the characters in the ME trilogy. Thank you. Good Night.

[blackjacketmuses]

hc; og dante 12

In honor of @dwellsinme​ who inspired me with her HC to post mine, because I’ve had it but haven’t gotten around to actually posting about it.

Dante - my Dante - is very much ADHD. 

It’s kind of a tossup whether his nature as a hybrid has anything to do with it (see: PJO series), but he is definitely, definitely ADHD and has been since he was a kid. Unfortunately, in the late 70s-early 80s, neurodivergence wasn’t as big or talked about a concept, so no one really had any idea, and Dante’s so detached from the normal human life at this point it’s probably never come up and never will. He functions....as well as one would expect with that on top of cPTSD and depression, but, yknow, he manages. So it’s never been a real, true problem. Drove his parents and teachers crazy as a little, and definitely drives people crazy now, but...that’s just how Dante is.

I’m gonna go into more detail under a cut just because long post incoming:

To start I’m just gonna drop a list of symptoms here, so you can kinda see what I’m getting at: bolding is mine, and is the symptoms Dante visibly explicitly shows and expresses (for the record, he definitely has combined type, which has symptoms of both inattentive and hyperactive)---

Inattentive type:

Be easily distracted, miss details, forget things, and frequently switch from one activity to another

Have difficulty maintaining focus on one task

Become bored with a task after only a few minutes, unless doing something they find enjoyable

Have difficulty focusing attention on organizing or completing a task

Have trouble completing or turning in homework assignments, often losing things (e.g., pencils, toys, assignments) needed to complete tasks or activities

Appear not to be listening when spoken to

Daydream, become easily confused, and move slowly

Have difficulty processing information as quickly and accurately as others

Struggle to follow instructions

Have trouble understanding details; overlooks details

Hyperactive type:

Fidget or squirm a great deal

Talk nonstop

Dash around, touching or playing with anything and everything in sight

Have trouble sitting still during dinner, school, and while doing homework

Be constantly in motion

Have difficulty performing quiet tasks or activities

Be impatient

Blurt out inappropriate comments, show their emotions without restraint, and act without regard for consequences

Have difficulty waiting for things they want or waiting their turn in games

Often interrupt conversations or others' activities

Okay, so maybe he leans a lot heavier into hyperactive type, but, I mean. Watch him doing stuff, especially in 3 and 4 --- he’s definitely very easily distracted, doesn’t seem to listen a lot, and focus is only kept when he’s really interested in something, otherwise he super ignores it. And details? Ha! What are those, he just jumps in and does things.

As for the hyperactive symptoms, I don’t think I need to point out many specific instances, it’s...we all see it. He’s constantly running his mouth, constantly in motion, constantly moving, playing with things, bouncing on his feet, fidgeting, fighting, moving a lot as he fights...I mean look at him playing with every single new toy he gets immediately, and especially look at him with Cerberus. He’s loud, he’s present, he’s very impatient --- we see that a lot in 3 re: puzzles and locks --- and honestly he’s very good at interrupting people. Not to mention that thing about saying inappropriate things, and being unable to restrain emotions or actions? Definitely Dante, demonstrably so.

Other symptoms Dante definitely has --- and this is speaking as me, an ADHD person, who sees a lot of my bullshit in Dante --- are:

MOTIVATION ISSUES (don’t @ me Vergil): Look at this guy, he can’t or won’t do anything that doesn’t click into his interests (and even then!!) unless he gets pushed or bullied or bribed into it. He needs to be given a significant and heavy reason to get up and do shit, otherwise he’ll just sit around or blow it off and claim pickiness. And sure, he is picky --- because specific criteria on What Will Interest Him is another ADHD thing!! --- but man, even then, you can see in the anime he has to be pushed out the door to get shit done sometimes. This is clearly contributing to his broke situation. And when he’s Depressed it’s worse, look at the state of his office in 5!!

REJECTION SENSITIVE DYSPHORIA: Now this one isn’t quite as obvious, because he’s REALLY GOOD at pretending he’s fine, but he really does not cope well with being yelled at/rejection/being pushed away by people, especially people he likes. That’s a mood. This was worse by far when he was a kid, and is part of why he’s such a pushover and can easily be bullied into doing things for people he likes or people he wants to like him. He doesn’t want to be rejected or criticized, so time to do what they want me to! No problem, no argument!

SLEEP PROBLEMS: Either he is like LOOK MA NO SLEEP I CAN DO THIS ALL WEEK or he’s sleeping constantly and looking like Rip Van fucking Winkle. Now this does overlap with the depression, but ADHD internal clocks are borked to hell and back, too, so his sleep schedule and how much/little he sleeps is just. What even. How. 

TIME PROBLEMS: Either something is Now or it is Not Now and if it is Not Now it is not worth caring about or worrying about.

IMPULSE CONTROL: As mentioned above, but with the added problem of “what is delayed gratification I don’t know her”, and needing rewards for what he’s doing Now Please Thanks.

DECISION MAKING: When confronted with difficult decisions, either you a) freeze because AAHHHH TOO MUCH or b) just Do Something because panic without thinking. Also what the FUCK is a plan, there are no plans, plans don’t exist.

BOREDOM IS EVIL: No being bored, ever, oh god, nope, fuck that cannot be bored boredom is the devil and causes BAD BAD THINGS. Must always be doing things, needs entertainment, needs stimulation or will quickly devolve into a lump on the couch. If thing is boring, will NOT do it, nope, fuck that.

CHILDLIKE BEHAVIOR: Like whew. I mean. Local 42yo man acts like a 10yo boy pretending to be an 80s action hero like in the movies, constantly, as if he thinks that mimicking that is how Adults Are. And just, generally acting like an enormous child.

WEIRD KID: Just...generally coming off as weird or different or Outside The Norm, not good with normal human social cues and responses to things, acts weird and like an outcast and doesn’t seem to quite fit in with normal people.

FIXATIONS: Pizza pizza pizza NEVER GET BORED OF PIZZA I COULD EAT PIZZA EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE also sundaes. 

MUSIC...GOOD: This is more subjective, but Dante’s thing with music strikes me as a thing mostly because I am that person who NEEDS TO BE LISTENING TO MUSIC ALL THE TIME HOLY SHIT, I CANNOT STAND IF THERE IS NO BACKGROUND NOISE TO MY LIFE. I get so antsy I want to jump off a cliff when there’s no background noise/music in the car and I Need music on to do anything; but at the same time I can’t listen to podcasts or videos because music I just tune out and it’s There, Good, Wonderful, but if it’s something to concentrate on with Words To Understand, it is BAD and it needs Full Focus or I Don’t Hear SHIT. So, yeah, that too.

NON SEQUITURS EVERYWHERE: You know that THING where topic A comes up and in your head you jump ahead five things in a way only you understand, and then you speak up and bring up topic F out of nowhere because YOU got to it in your head but everyone else is like what the fuck, so you kinda shut up or laugh it off? Yeah. Also that other feel when you’re still on topic B but the rest of the group went on to topic C or D and you’re internally screaming because NO I STILL HAVE SOMETHING ELSE TO SAY GET BACK HERE.

WHAT THE FUCK IS VOLUME CONTROL THIS IS MY NORMAL SPEAKING VOICE I’M NOT SHOUTING????: Self explanatory.

BAD AT HEARING THINGS: Needs VERY specific instructions, but also things need repeating a lot because he’s quick to accidentally tune stuff out.

READING: Trouble reading LONG blocks of text. Magazines Good, short articles Good.

Local Man Laughs At Own Jokes, WHAT THEY’RE FUNNY

MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMING: He did this more as a kid, but it still applies; local child looks like he’s just kind of vibrating quietly but otherwise paying attention? NOPE he’s having an epic adventure in his head and is not listening to a word. Vergil will tell him later if it’s important.

THE LEG BOUNCE: Speaking of, he CANNOT SIT STILL. He’s at the MINIMUM rocking in his seat or bouncing his foot or tapping his fingers, sometimes as chords to a guitar but other times just taptaptap.

Stopping What Is Stopping, or alternatively, HOW TO START EVEN IDK.

Getting/being increasingly SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE but just sitting there with a smile while internally going AAAAAAAAAAAAA in increasing volume, because you have no idea how to disengage.

Things not immediately in view or immediately important Cease To Exist Entirely.

Related, visual exhaustion aka I HAVE LIVED WITH THIS MESS SO LONG THAT THE MESS IS BACKGROUND NOISE AND DOES NOT EXIST TO ME, I NO LONGER SEE IT, IT IS SCENERY.

Is the only member of this family who can drink caffeine, ADHD cancels the effect out.

Actually Pretty Goddamn Smart, but the disconnect of not having any education after 5th grade and that GOOD GOOD RSD thanks to bitchy clients kicked in and he internalized that he’s dumb now oops, might as well not try. See Also That Good Good RSD RE: bitchy dates, guess he’s just A Terrible Date, whoops, gonna just Not do that anymore. Basically if enough people give him shit about a thing, guess he’s just NOT gonna do that thing anymore!! Yep!!!

Bad at doing things The Proper Way, procedures and rules and bureaucracy are BORING GOTTA GET STUFF DONE NOW MY WAY. Never showed his work in math ever. 

Actually really smart, but got in trouble a lot for lack of visibly paying attention, being unable to sit still in class, and not following instructions. He could do the work and do it right, with or without listening to the lecture, but because he did it on his own terms and by his own rules, even if he got the right answer, he got in trouble. RSD convinced him later in life he was an idiot, but he still is really good at out of the box thinking and figuring shit out with limited information.

Gets Frustrated, Stops Doing Thing (or IMPULSIVITY ACTIVATE FORM OF DOING STUPID SHIT TO GET THING DONE)

Bad habit of WORRY when understimulated, also tendency towards insecurity, this is made WORSE x100 by his PTSD. Not to mention a bit of chronic low self esteem because of most of the above.

Low self esteem feeds into really bad self-awareness; he really doesn’t quite understand or process the effects he has on people, for good or ill.

ADDICTIVE!! BEHAVIOR!!! (see: The Booze)

Stopping this here because a) you get my point by now and b) I’M going full ADHD on fixating on this post so I’m cutting myself off here. Anyway, yeah. There’s this.

[imacetra]

Unpopular FF Opinion

Sephiroth isn’t a good person just because he’s “so hot!!!! UwU”

Love him all you want, but he wasn’t a good pure marshmallow cinnamon roll boy some people make him out to be. He’s an interesting character, but he did horrible things that can’t just be swept under the rug. If Sephiroth somehow came back for good, and suddenly switched from “I’m going to summon Meteor and become a god” to a hero, no one would accept him as a friend, ally, or good person. And even if someone did, it sure as hell wouldn’t happen for awhile. Sephiroth tried to kill everyone on several occasions. He’s made a kebab out of Cloud twice, murdered Tifa’s father, and nearly killed her minutes later, destroyed Cloud and Tifa’s hometown, and murdered Aerith. Yet a lot of people ignore this, and so we get a lot of fanfics and fan art where Sephiroth shows up and everyone’s immediately cool with it.

“Oh yeah, you burnt my hometown to the ground, nearly killed my childhood friend, nearly killed me, murdered countless innocent people, killed one of my best friends, and nearly destroyed the planet, but yeah, it’s cool. Lemme buy you a beer.”

If Sephiroth showed up claiming to be a good guy, none of the main cast would give a shit. They’d attack him on sight.

And this isn’t an attack on any ships, or Sephiroth as a character. I genuinely like Sephiroth’s story and can see why people love him. In fact, Sephiroth was awesome before he freaked out and went on a killing spree. I loved him in Crisis Core.

But he isn’t a good person.

Yes, we can understand why he went crazy and started to hate everything, because we’ve seen his backstory. We know what made him snap. But that doesn’t excuse his actions. He’s not an innocent sunshine boy who did nothing wrong.

And that’s something that’s extremely annoying about fandoms, especially FFVII’s fandom.

If you’re pretty, you can get away with things.

Take Reno for example. He’s one of my favorite characters, and I love him.

But he’s a fucked up character.

Advent Children kind of made the Turks out to be nothing but the comedic relief. Reno and Rude specifically. Which probably contributes to a lot of people thinking that Reno did nothing wrong.

This is the guy who Mufassa’d Don Corneo off a mountain, set the bomb that destroyed Sector 7, killing millions in the process, and chased after Aerith for years, trying to drag her back to the ShinRa. But apparently, because he looks like THIS

it’s all okay. 

Reno ain’t a “sexy widdle baby” who does no wrong. So don’t act like it. I love him, but he’s done HORRIBLE things.

Another perfect example of “pretty bois are perfect in every way” is Vincent. Now I love Vincent to death. He’s one of my absolute favorites.

But he’s fucked up too!

Vincent was a Turk. The Turks do some pretty shady stuff. Assassinations, kidnappings, etc. Who knows how many people he killed when he was a Turk.  Not to mention, Vincent canonically walked away from innocent people getting kidnapped/murdered in Dirge of Cerberus.

But hey. He looks like THIS

so iT’S aLl OkAY

It’s seriously annoying how wrong doings are just tossed out the window because a character is pretty. Sephiroth, Reno, Vincent, they get special treatment because they’re pretty boys.

But guy characters who aren’t conventionally pretty, or lady characters in general, oh ho, if they do something wrong, they’re THE W O R S T.

Take Cid for example.

When you first meet Cid in the OG, he’s extremely stressed out. His dreams were previously crushed, making him spiral into anger and depression. He’s pissed at himself because he had to THINK about choosing between saving Shera’s life or going through with the launch to achieve his dream of making it to space. He hesistated to save his friend’s life. Shera even tells us that Cid’s “not normally like this” when he's acting up in his introduction. He’s freaking out because Rufus is on his way, and the President is his only hope of getting the Space Program going again.

But no, because Cid shouts at her (he shouts at everyone, wtf are you people on), he’s the worst. An awful person. A sexist abusive asshole who doesn’t deserve to live.

OOH, bad man say mean word to woman. Shera’s clearly a victim who must be saved from this disgusting brute.

Seriously? Where are you people getting this? Shera CHOSE to stay with Cid, guilt complex or no. When it turns out she was right about the oxygen tanks, Shera doesn’t rub it in Cid’s face. And Cid doesn’t fucking badmouth Shera. He yells at her, just like he yells at E V E R Y O N E. And he does so with more aggression when he’s stressed, like when you first meet him.

I’m not excusing Cid’s actions, or Shera’s. The whole point of this post is “don’t excuse a character’s actions just because you love them”. But Cid is constantly trashed, berated, spat on, and misjudged, mainly because he’s not pretty like Vincent, Sephiroth and many other anime looking FF boys. Cid shouldn’t have taken his anger out on Shera by yelling at her. But he’s not an awful person.

He’s just a big dorky space gay who wants his goddamn tea.

Now onto another character who gets a ton of undeserved hate: Lucrecia.

Like many characters in FFVII, Lucrecia made some big fucking mistakes. But hey.

WHO THE FUCK DOESN’T?????

There isn’t a single main character in this game who hasn’t made at least ONE mistake. But oh, because Lucrecia is extremely emotional and not a pretty anime boy, she’s unforgivable, horrible, and deserves to be spat on for existing.

Guys, Lucrecia apologizes time and time again, and even tries (and fails) to kill herself she feels so bad about what she did. She regrets experimenting on her baby and she feels at fault for what happened to Vincent.

But hey.

SHe’S nOT a pRettY bOI sO iT’s aLl OkAy

The point I’m trying to make here is this.

Sephiroth (and most of the pretty men in FFVII) are constantly being woobified and forgiven of literally all their wrong doings just because of their looks, and it’s stupid. They’re forgiven for mass murder for god’s sake. Don’t you think that’s at least a little fucked up???

I’m not hating on characters. I’m hating on shitty representation. And portraying Sephiroth as some heroic hottie who Did No Wrong is stupid and inaccurate.

So love Sephiroth all you want. But don’t forgive him for murder just because he’s pretty.