#here have a steak

[the-darkestminds]

rhys in tamlin’s DMs five seconds after showing up to the spring court to tell him to off himself

[howdotheyliketheirsteak]

Assume this character can eat steak OR there is a substitute they can eat that cooks equivalently

[sun-stricken]

Hello. I absolutely love your Fairy Tail head-canons, especially about demon slayer Gray. Feel free to take or leave these little ideas. Always love when you post <3

~

Imagine Team Natsu has to rent a vehicle or something and they require actual legal paperwork like a birth certificate and address or something like that (more than just “guild business! Gonna need this!”). Lucy doesn’t want to rent it because there is no way she’s going to be responsible for the inevitable damage. Erza, being the leader and a good friend volunteers. A few minutes later she comes back out, puzzled.

Erza: “why would they need a birth certificate? Shouldn’t me being present be proof enough of my existence?”

Gray starts snickering in the background. Natsu goes in next but comes out even earlier than Erza, cause at least Erza had a probably legal address at Fairy Hills, Natsu on the other hand lives in a house in the woods.

By the time Wendy goes in the receptionist is exasperated. “Yes I understand you are with Fairy Tail but that isn’t until page three of the paper work. None of you have made it past the first page.”

Gray finds this all very amusing.

Lucy: “Since you find it so amusing why don’t you go register, Gray!?”

Gray: mutters something

Natsu: “What do you mean you’re legally dead?!”

Cause you know, Ur just found a kid (the only survivor) and just decided to keep him. Oh, no official rescue crews didn’t show up until two days later? My kid now :)

The search and rescue teams never found any survivors in Gray’s old town so everyone was pronounced dead. The magic council or whoever is in charge of that stuff is also disorganized enough that no one realized that Gray Fullbuster is both a famous wizard and supposedly dead. So, just, Gray technically being considered legally dead the entire time he was at Fairy Tail.

~

Also, the slayers all going out on a job together(the dragon slayers had to drag Gray). The job turns out to be a trap (surprise!) and the floor just opens up revealing a giant vehicle.

Dark mage: “Ha-ha! I have bested the dragon slayer! The most powerful mages-“spots Gray just chilling, perfectly fine and not motion sick. “what are you doing?” Cause the guy was planning to capture dragon slayer, not whatever a demon slayer was (the dark mage didn’t even know demon slayers were a thing). Gray defeats the dark mage but holds it over Natsu’s head for a week.

After that anytime a large group of dragon slayers takes a job together they take Gray along for “extra security during transportation” or just extra security in general.

I also head-canon that each type of slayer magic has its own unique weakness. Dragon slayers get severely motion sick. God slayers are claustrophobic. Demon slayers cannot handle sweets. If Gray gets even a whiff of cake or any other dessert his gag reflex acts up and he gets really nauseous and other stuff like that. He of course hid it at first (he was afraid Erza would disown him) but eventually everyone learned about the weakness of demon slayers. Natsu teases him about it but never pushes it too far to the point of accidentally making Gray really sick.

Anyways, sorry for the long ask. Feel free to expand on anything. Always love some good slayer bonding head-canons and just Fairy Tail head-canons in general. <3

This was so much fun to make tbh so domt apologize, i love long asks <3 and thank for for what you said ant my posts! theyre fun to make so im glad ppl enjoy them

Oh, you have no idea how often ive though about Gray being legally dead, my personal favorite scenario is him trying to fix it and prove himself alive but cant

“How the fuck would i know my social security number??? i was eight years old! i had no reason to know!!!”

There was no dna or finger-print records of him or his family so he couldn’t prove it that way either. Apparently, declaring someone born or dead is easier than someone ‘resurrected’. To the law Gray of Isvan is dead and although Gray of Fiore bares similarities, they are two different people.

But ALSO to the law Gray of Fiore doesnt exist bc he has no birth certificate. And while hes adamant, he has no real proof beyond his word he is Gray Fullbuster of Isvan.

So basically, According to the law, Both Gray Fullbuster of Isvan and Fiore are dead and never existed, respectively.

tbh this sounds like an identity crisis waiting to happen, but what else is new with him

Erza probably tried to fix it after she was told bc she legally didnt exist for a minute either (never was filed as a real person, she was able to file for a late birth certificate on account that she wasnt claiming to be a ‘separate’ person and also Makarov did it for her) (dont ask why he didnt for Gray, i like plot holes). But quickly realized their situations were very different, him waiting over a decade to check in as a survivor with the proper authorities definitely weakened his case considering he was running around free before he decided he needed a birth certificate.

But hey, as long as he doesn’t need to rent something, or get a license or id, or work somewhere beyond Fairy Tail, or get married, or, god forbid, die again, he should be fine!

i wonder if he would be considered a ‘john doe’ if he actually died again since they have ‘no’ birth records

This also makes games like ‘two truths and a lie’ amazing

“alright so, im legally dead, i legally dont exist, and ive never physically died before” “Gray what the hell do you mean” “Guess the right one and ill tell you” “WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS MEAN THOUGH??”

i love everything to do with the ‘dragon slayers + gray’ dynamic

‘Extra security’ just turns into Gray babysitting a bunch of rambunctious dragons for hours. seriously, get this guy a reward for how he hasnt killed or maimed any of them yet.

Imagine them trying to convince Gray to walk to their destination instead of taking the train

“Its not that far!!” “its fucking 5 hours by train, How long do you think itll take to walk? Why would even you pick this job if you knew how long the ride would be??” … “nobody looked..” “are you actually serious.” … “oh my fucking god”

and thats the story of how one Demon slayer ended up having to babysit 4 very pitiful looking Fairy Tail Dragon slayers on a train. Dude had to drag them off it once it stopped too.

His side career of ‘Dragon Slayer Babysitter’ only gets harder when they realize holy shit! cold compresses can help nausea! and what do they have? a walking cold compress.

Taking a train trip with them just means second hand nausea AND embarrassment, and absolutely no personal space. A dream come true.

At least he gets to hold it over their heads

Tbh i like the irony of Dragon Slayers being motion sick because, yk, dragons can fly, so my hc for side effects for God Slayers and Demon Slayers were along the same lines

God Slayers being wide open space or flying since Gods are like the epitome of freedom? all knowing and have complete reign over everything, But claustrophobia works so much better for that same reason. It would cause extreme panic and rash decisions

And Demon Slayers was the dark because demons are supposed to be these evil creatures who thrive in the dark n stuff? basically it would send a Demon Slayer into a paranoid spiral.

But sweets being a weakness instead is such a silly thing that im gonna take it and run

Gray never cared for sweets in the first place, gave him a stomachache, but now he has to walk away from Erza mid conversation if she decides to indulge, which is almost everyday. She was absolutely heartbroken and devastated when the weakness was revealed, it was such a dramatic reaction one wouod think she was the one with the new weakness

When Gray pokes fun at Natsus motion sickness he’ll go on about how Gray is gonna have the lamest parties since he cant handle even the smell of sweets, especially cake.

A terrible realization for everyone involved with him, on par with when Gray realized he wouldnt be able to have ice cream comfortably again, thats like a staple for ice mages

heart wrenching, truly

[no-face-no-shame]

I'm obsessed with some of the dialogue options AA provides. It's so tempting to pick the insane ones just to fuck with people

[most-fuck-able-ff14]

Y'all can not comprehend the horrors, y'all fear the unknown, but me? I understand the horrors and embrace the unknown. I'm built diffrent. -Mod Fisher

[familyabolisher]

an annoying corollary to the whole "self-flagellating for crime of being a customer" thing is when people make perfectly legitimate and polite complaints to me at work and apologise five billion times for doing so like i don't care....

[deus-ex-mona]

*pays for mona merch with the one and only chozetsu kawaii credit card*

[fionnaskyborn]

Was tagged by @oceancamp to post my current five favorite songs! (They should invent a stages-of-grief-esque model that encompasses and accurately describes both types of anguish I had to go through making this list - the one of limiting myself to only five songs, and the one of trying to put as little videogame music on here as possible so that I don't end up looking like an absolute goddamn geek, which... I am... Oh well!)

Thank you so much for tagging me - here are the songs!

Heaven Pierce Her - War Without Reason

Tatsuro Yamashita - Love Space

This specific arrangement of Death And Republic + Meet Again

Winger - Junkyard Dog (Tears On Stone)

The Protomen - Light Up The Night

Is it courtesy to tag other people after you've been tagged in a post like this? If that's the case, I'll tag @spiralled-fury, @solradguy, @swamppossum, @five-by-five, @northstarring, @ineedmoredragons and @tbonechessor!

[kindred-spirit-93]

story idea im never going to write (horror?)

every safety rule and regulation is written in someones blood.

its set not too far into the future nor too deep in the past, somewhere in the middle, somewhere familiar. the worlds nations have unanimously agreed to centralise global databases and archives & universalise regulations and law criteria to ensure better and more sustainable livlihoods for its citizens after what was recorded as humanities most disasterous decade.

it was to be a fresh start, a new page for the greater good of our kind, they all smiled and agreed. no one can know of the corners that were cut that lead to catastrophes far and wide. opposition was shut down and a false sense of peace befell all. save face. save lives. move on.

--

plenty of career paths could lead you to becoming an employee of the great archives. it has been dubbed as the worlds second library of alexandria, housing the entirety of human knowledge in every field imaginable. it was a grounding and deeply humbling occupation and a very honourable and much sought after position. yet it wasnt a job many could handle.

new intern at the archives, fresh out of university having placed the highest in the admission exam, applies for the hazard control unit of the workplace safety division. story starts off with them being shown around by one of the elder 'safekeepers', a dean if you will, who supervises several departments according to industry & occupation.

*world building and stuff*

over the course of the story said intern files throught what feels like millions of documents and protocols and union meeting minutes and more, all as part of their accreditation & quality assurance job.

the lore isnt too clear but in essence the read every horrific incident in the history of human kind and truly understand the extent of written in blood.

--

ofc our intern here is starting to have mixed feelings about it all. on the one hand they had no idea so much of the work would require handling and closely examining content this graphic, but at the same time they cant shake of the silly baseless feeling that theres something really sinister at play. how can they not when time and time again theyve seen how meagerly companies and governments handled tragedies in the workplace, bending all sorts of rules and finding more loopholes than fitting fineprint on their contracts.

unfortunately these discoveries are the culmination of over two years of grueling hard work, uncovering the darkest most damning secrets of industries new and old. and its high time for a well earned promotion. theres no turning back from here

*several moral dilemmas and identity crises all at once*

--

blah blah maybe a timeskip or something idk its pretty vague lol but the more le intern researches and follows up on leads and looks up restriced files & tracks down survivng families of victims if any, the more they start to find out their hunch was indeed correct...

long story short bc my brain is peacing out already, the "its all written in blood" is more literal than you would think. turns out that many tragedies are secretly staged to maintain the status quo of the higher ups, and in the advent of a law suit that actually works in you favour compensations paid are undisclosed and more often than not return to the offending parties. anyone who disagrees or dares to oppose is wiped off the census (this is where the universal archives really comes into play; sure every nation has its own heavily controlled copy of the world archive, but some things stay in the capital ig)

--

the safekeeper from before is a seasoned assassin essentially, they make sure everyone follows the rules and eliminates anyone who toes out of line (every department/ unit has their head hitman lol). the intern had managed to keep their head down for so long bc they were secretly compiling copies of evidence and was too busy questioning their life choices and ethics theyd stuck around for long enough to get promoted, which gave them access to their inner circles which opened another somehow worse door(s) of hell.

--

tl;dr intern at universal archives starts investigating serial offences across many fields and lines of work and learns the ugly truth about just how dispensible big corporations they think people are.

after the shock wears off and intern gets promoted the more sinister side of things are revealed and it turns out that osha is the source of all evil and wont just wait for accidents to happen; they will actively set them up and write their laws using the blood of the innocent to enforce restrictions and slowly seize control over every industry ever. also thanks to astronomical pr budgets the general public is none the wiser :)

and our not-intern is horrified beyond comprehension with this knowledge and has 3 crises about it at once lol.

story ends with the nice elderly safekeeper smiling at intern and covered in fresh blood :)

the end

--

i feel its important to let yall know i had visions for this while also thinking of a story where the titular character is called jack monterey.

[menaathena]

hngg..... salmon........

[daistea]

I really want to play Overcooked with the cast of Dungeon Meshi.

[atesomerocks]

got omori for the switch as a birthday present and completed a playthru of the good ending in like two days so have some art

[theshinazugawaslut]

Will answer all asks tomorrow, and I'll also be starting my writing as promised!

Thank you to every single one of you who supported me during this time, I'm genuinely so thankful, and every single person here has given me so, so much positivity!

[bedpissercastiel]

being an adult is fun because i can just. not eat the broken food and it's fine and my day isnt ruined by having to eat it or someone getting upset with me for not eating it

[alistairs]

Drink from the leche of sirens Summon the sailors in town Strangle the fear of deciding Which ones deserving to drown

[X]

[ismyteadoneyet]

dude my mom doesn't even let me identify as a pacifist without debating me on it how tf am I supposed to come out as queer lol