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got omori for the switch as a birthday present and completed a playthru of the good ending in like two days so have some art
#omori#omori fanart#cant rlly tag omori then omori for the character huh#traditional art#ink wash#yeaaaah inkwash baby i was feeling nostalgic for early doodledate#uh yeah anyways back to tagging#my art#clown does art#possibly disturbing imagery#scene redraw#i wanted to use red ink but i keep convincing myself not to buy coloured ink at the art store#one day ill give in#im done serious taggijg anyways omori so good the switch vers so funky it got that sticker i love her#i love how autismed sunny is#i might actually b able to cosplay omori if i can 1 dye this wig i got black n actually style it and 2 get knee high black socks#bc i have everything else#hell im so white it nearly matches the sprite anyways#wont have a knife bc just like sunny i learned the hard way ppl dont react to u having a knife on ur person in a calm way#in my defense mine was a camping pocket knife at least sunny out here wildin just got a steak knife loose in his khaki shorts#omori spoilers#that one is directed at u aimƩ.e. tho if u dont know this means literally noting to u so i think youll b fine#okay ill shut up now
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love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking
#yes i want things to be free like ??? that is not a weird desire#'but but it costs money to keep up' ok and? how is that my problem#the government has plenty of murder dollars they could reallocate a few to make internet services universal if they wanted#also these companies were perfectly capable of supporting themselves before the internet got drowned with ads so ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ#edit: muting notifs on this post bc new additions have kind of petered out#so no one feel bad about adding something someone else has saidā it is not bothering me im just trying to keep my#notifs page cleanish lol#also since i saw some people are being redirected to read my tags: firstly hiiiiii this is a special secret message for you:3#secondly i have learned since making this that the reason they were able to support themselves previously was because#of investors bankrolling everything#and theyre now finally realizing that theyre never going to actually make a profit and arent as willing to invest#however thats just a minor correction and doesnt change my overall point#once again. so many murder dollars#so thats why im just adding it here in the tags rather than making an actual correction#anyways . love yall š#origibberish#bigger gibbers
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was talking with a friend about how some of dunmeshi fŠ°ndom misunderstands kabru's initial feelings towards laios.
to sum up kabru's situation via a self-contained modernized metaphor:
kabru is like a guy who lost his entire family in a highly traumatic car accident. years later he joins a discord server and takes note of laios, another server member who seems interesting, so they start chatting. then laios reveals his special interest and favorite movie of all time is David Cronenberg's Crash (1996), and invites kabru to go watch a demolition derby with him
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#kabru#kabru already added laios as a discord friend. everyone else in the server can see laios excitedly asking kabru to go with him#what would You even Do in this situation. how would YOU feel?#basically: kabru isnt a laios-hater! hes just in shock bc Thats His Trauma. the key part is kabru still says yes#bc he wants to get to know laios. to understand why laios would be so fascinated by something horrific to him#and ALSO bc even while in shock kabru can still tell laios has unique expertise + knowledge that Could be used for Good#even if kabru doesnt fully trust laios yet (bc kabru just started talking to the guy 2 hours ago. they barely know each other)#kabru also understands that getting to know ppl (esp laios) means having to get to know their passions. even if it triggers his trauma here#but thats too much to fit in this metaphor/analogy. this is NOT an AU! its not supposed to cover everything abt kabru or laios' character!#its a self-contained metaphor written Specifically to be more easily relatable+thus easy to understand for general ppl online#(ie. assumed discord users. hence why i said (a non-specific) 'discord server' and not something specific like 'car repair subreddit')#its for ppl who mightve not fully grasped kabru's character+intentions and think hes being mean/'chaotic'/murderous.#to place ppl in kabru's shoes in an emotionally similar situation thats more possible/grounded in irl experiences and contexts.#and also for the movie punchline#mynn.txt#dm text#crossposting my tweets onto here since my friends suggested so
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I don't know who needs to hear this, but as a creator -
I am fine with "the audience" -
downloading my fics
printing my fics
copy/pasting or screenshotting my fics
sharing your saved copy of my fics with anyone else who might want them in the unlikely but never impossible case that my fics are no longer available on ao3
making a book of my fic(s) and running your fingers across the pages while lovingly whispering my precioussss
doing these things with anything I create for fandom, such as meta, headcanons, au nonsense like 'texts from the brodinsons,' etc
I am not fine with "the audience"
doing any of the above with the purpose/intent of plagiarizing my work or passing it off as their own in any capacity
feeding my work into ai for any reason whatsoever
Save the fandom things. Preserve the fandom things. Respect the fandom things.
Enjoy the fandom things.
#fanfic#ao3#archive of our own#fandom things#tumblr things#i may have said this at some point#i'm sure i have#but whatever - just in case#i don't say this with the presumption that i'm so amazing and people are clamoring to save my fics#but just if anyone is so inclined that's all#ftr i don't intend on ever removing my fics from ao3 or deleting fandom things from this blog#i've always shared my fandom things with the intent of keeping them shared bc that's the whole point of posting#but the fandom atmosphere and ao3 constantly being under attack who knows what can happen#not that this applies to anyone but should all else fail you can also reach out to me and i will personally give you a copy#at least of fics bc i save everything#not so much the tumblr things but this is a good reminder to myself that i should do that for the things i care about#that i've made or done and only posted here#anyway sorry i have now used up my quota of the putting words into sentences doing for today#i have plans to stare into the void now
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spiraling
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#gojo satoru#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#the minute i realized how tg coded the composition n colours were i decided to turn it up to 11#i was racking my brain trying 2 figure out how to get the layered tissue paper look tht i talked abt ishida's cover art having#cycled through all my usual layer modes n nothing ws Quite right#until wouldnt u know it . divide n subtract!!!!! i NEVER use divide or subtract bc theyre impossible#but fr this??? its like they were made for it oh my god#it makes the greys look translucent n all my textures pop in a way that makes them appear splotchy n Bruised#which ws the whole point thts the Look god i am so PLEASED#when the layer modes tht notoriously get No love finally find their niche <33 peace and love <333#filing this away fr later i am going 2 have a lot of fun with this new information i think#im very happy w how the colours look n i dont think anything else wld have kept the right Mood#but i am always so >:/ when i have to use a palette tht forces me into giving megumi blue eyes#had to set aside th green eyed megu agenda fr the Aesthetic unfortunately#anyway i knew from the minute i saw it that i wanted to do smth involving the opening panel of 268#bc that panel is S tier#i figured tht if nothing came 2 me i wld just redraw it as-is bc it's alr so good but as i ws sketching i was like#u know what u havent done in a while? art tht looks like u r going Insane#art tht makes ur family ask whether everything is ok#so i once again tucked megumi's knees up 2 his chest and apologized insincerely to him fr making the third megumi angst piece in a row#:)
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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balor š„°
#fields of mistria#fom#balor#fanart#art#sir...im so in love w you...#if anyone else like me loved the fuck out of stardew but was disappointed in the romance options...please play this game#the characters/interactions/dialouge is top notch#i knew nothing about this game i found out about it 2 days before release#i thought i was gonna go for march#and immedately met this guy and just#his first line is like (im a traveling merchant) and i went (oh no)#i have such a THING for merchant characters#i can finally live out my dream of romancing volo pkmn#sort of#except not evil#i think#love that the romance options in this game are like... adults with jobs/dreams/aspirations#unlike stardew where everyone is supposedly an adult but is like a teenager??#but in this game everyone is a contributing member of society#love that <3333#the dialouge for real is amazing#anyway. it still in uhh...early access? so you cant do everything youll be able to do one day#but thats good for me bc i tend to blast through these games and do 90% of things within a week#fanart???? from my ass???#only because i love this game and him#im so fucked up for him#not me tracking his ass down everyday to talk to him#also what i love about this game is being able to talk to everyone multiple times a day#like every hour or something
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the dialogue choices in this game should be more diabolical
#i love akechi but i sometimes i wish you could bully him like no matter which dialogue u pick it sounds like ur flirting back w him#āi'm going to be completely honest with you. i've always hated youā why can't u say smt unserious back#like āsorry i have a snatched waist and correct opinions on everything.ā or like āur loss lmaoā#hate playing darts with this bitch bc i play on a steamdeck and i don't have a fucking gyroscope so like#it's trying to replicate how the joycons or pro controller would throw AND ITS SUCKS SO BAD#like i just see akechi get a hat trick every single fucking time with three bulls in a row and meanwhile im struggling to line the thing up#and then after u finish he's like āhmm i see. that's an interesting way to play itā WHAT THE FUCK THERES LITERALLY NO STRATEGY HERE SMARTAS#I JUST MISSED. IM NOT STRATEGIZING. THERES NOTHING āINTERESTINGā ABOUT IT.#i hate going to penguin snipers so much i hope i can get this stupid game on switch so i can actually rank up akechi's baton pass#and not waste like 1000 yen every night bc i refuse to not let a party member be on rank 3#akechi fuck yourself why can't we play 501 like we do with everyone else. why do u have to make everything abt this stupid rivalry#im gonna kms i hate akeci and i hate darts#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#goro akechi#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#shuake#akeshu#lotus draws
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Do you ever do requests? If so, do you ever plan on drawing some Yandere with the Hantengu clones? :D hope you have a good day/night!!!
Mentioning an unfamiliar name
yes!! I love yanderes.. and these guys.. these guys are such good material...... nods nods..
I'm not sure about requests..I assume you mean drawing requests? I suppose if it REALLY catches my interest enough, I'd do it, but it'd probably just be line art/sketches.
#null rot#yandere kny#yandere demon slayer#kny#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#hantengu#hantengu clones#sekido#karaku#urogi#aizetsu#midori306#YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER TO THE YANDERE QUESTION MY BELOVED CULT MEMBER#uwaa and i recently checked back on their designs.. THEY HAVE LONG SLANTED EARS DUDE WHAT THE FUCKKK THATS LIKE THE CUTEST EVER#i tend to shitpost and focus on the dere than the yan but thats my mistake!! im sorry cult members.. I'll need scarousal#when calling sekdio. he pretends to ignore you but you can tell he heard you when his ear twitches#He's flabbergasted that you met someone else to begin with. who let you go out without one of them?!#hes too shocked and angry to even properly get upset!!#Karaku loves everything you have to say. less so if its positive abt someone else. still listens tho. listening carefully for details..#he doesnt mind others eyeing you. youre perfect in his eyes. who wouldnt? still.. thats not gonna fly well.#Urogi loves when you seek him out but mentioning someone else... is bc you want to feed him right? ofc! you want to benefit him!#its cause hes your favorite! yeah! youre so sweet!!! ofc he'll get rid of someone for you both!!#Aizetsu's bashful. he feels put on the spot when calling him but hes always hoping you give him affection of some kind. always ready for yo#mentioning someone else was NOT what he wanted and now hes sad.. youre making him sad.. whats so important you had to bring that up?#The thought of anyone else makes him feel so exhausted already.. wont you comfort him instead? he needs you now.. atone for your mistakes#uwaa expressions.. uwaaa aizetsu releasing some of the tension in his brows when hes feeling upset towards you uWAA#i CANT RAMBLE ENOUGH IN THE TAGS SO WAIT FOR THE POST I HAVE IN THE BACK BURNER FROM SOMEONE ELSE WHO ASKED FOR SOMETHING SIMILAR!!!!!!!
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please can we stop describing bigots as delusional. please. im so fucking tired. someone being sucked into a hate group surrounded by others who believe minorities should be oppressed and encouraging them to believe in conspiracy theories that the rest of the group believes, is fundamentally different from someone having a mental illness that causes delusions.
delusions, by definition, cannot be explained by things like cultural background - such as having a belief constantly reinforced by intentional attempts to rationalize it for the sake of maintaining power over minorities. yes, someone can be both delusional and a bigot, and yes conspiracy theories can feed into delusions, but the two are not fucking synonymous.
i did not spend my teen years convinced that i was being stalked by demons just to hear so many of you people equate my disability with incel behavior and genocidal propaganda. stop reinforcing harmful connotations about mental health struggles.
#ok to rb#mental health advocate#mental health advocacy#mental health awareness#ableism cw#sanism cw#madpunk#neuropunk#actually delusional#actually schizospec#im not gonna interact with the post that prompted this#because i do agree with everything that was said and dont want to sound like im defending the assholes discussed#but i also am still fucking pissed about seeing a bunch of misogynistic jackasses compared to a disability#which has caused me immense fear and suffering#and guess what! my delusions were never ''women shouldnt have rights'' or whatever else#bc thats not a delusion thats a tool of the partriarchy to maintain the status quo#genocide cw#to be safe
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i dont know how else to put this but to approach books (or any media, really) solely for the sake of relatability is genuinely incredibly heartbreaking......to have such little (or such unwilling) imaginative scope that you cannot stretch yourself, even marginally, in a different direction to what youāve known or are used to knowing when the very POINT of stories is to transport you somewhere else, into someone else, so you can do just that........when fran lebowiz said a book āis supposed to be a door!ā and george saunders said good prose āis like empathy training wheelsā they were right!!! they were so so so SO absolutely entirely right!!!!!
#thinking about that last post still and i'm having so many thoughts#that people have relatability as the sole criterion is astonishing to me#like how else are you going to develop variegated textures in your relationships w others?#not to be dramatic but it seems like a little death to me. truly.#everything i read as a child and teenager was expressly something as different from my world as possible. bc i wanted to relate as something#other than me#once again it is. heartbreaking#truly it is#p#book talks#idir lĆŗibĆnĆ
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4321
#kagerou project#kagepro#mary kozakura#kano shuuya#kido tsubomi#seto kousuke#my art#critai mine#WAUGHHDH !!!!!!!#happy 15th from the jst timezone#IM NOT DONE YET I SITLL HAVE 2 DRAW AYANO#bro this file crashed sm times AUGHDHH#edit: WAGH I FOUND OUT THIS WENT ON THE RADAR WTF#i remember when i first posted this i didnt have time to explain the comp process for this 1 and not that it was anything big just#felt like i had to explain kano's framing bc it does look wonky#p much that it's actually the outline of the yobanashi graffiti title in his mv :-) !!!#not sum fucked up hole lol#everything else i think it's p self explanatory www was abt to do mekakushi code for kido but i felt like shissou word highlighted her#character more so i went w that..!!!#and originally i was to draw mary as a separate piece and have the meka trio in another but i didnt have time...#which is fine bc sidu did the same thing in their art book also LMAO#mary's og concept was also the curtain idea but behind her would've ben her mom + maybe seto (imagination forest stuff)#thank u for the nice tags :"-DDD
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Falin who cares too much and too little - analysis
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Been stewing on Falin thoughts for a while, I know I have an interpetation on her that differs from many but Iām jumping into the fray. I think thereās a lot to be said about what we do see of Falin. This shorter Falin analysis I made is heavily encouraged prior reading. This analysis mainly explores her complex relationship with caring and so itās sort of structured in two halves, with Faligon at the crux of it all.
Falin cares too little :
A lot of people assign Falin a people pleasing mindset and Iā¦ Donāt agree. We never see her care at all about people in her town or at the academy not liking her.
We do see her worrying about what people think of herā¦ ONCE. And Laios comforted her, told her they didnāt matter and she should be proud of herself. She latched onto that hard. Thatās why this scene was so important to be included during the dragon fight, relationship-defining; itās always been them against the world. She grew to not care what others thought, to only focus on her close loved ones. No one else matters.
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Laiosā words were her world. Her older brother who taught her how to feel comfortable with herself, who told her, youāre great, others are the ones in the wrong to not see that, Iāll always be with you, always be there for you. Older brother who always made great plans, who always knew more, who was better at wrestling to name the dogs, who she has always idolized. Laios who always spoke of traveling the world, to which she always said she wanted to follow. And she would, sheād follow him even if it meant leaving the academy and all she knew behind, sheād follow him to the ends of the world, and thatās what she did.
She didnāt care about showing to her classes or keeping up such appearances, she doesnāt even think of toning down her jumping into bushes when Marcille recoils, etc. She acts like an obedient pawn often, to her parentās directives and then following Laios around no matter what he decides to do, but I donāt think the motivation is people pleasing, rather itās being with & caring for her loved ones, and her go-with-the-flow attitude enhances the impression. Not that itās as simple as that, mind you, but letās talk about this for now.
Falin is perceived as selfless because we, the audience, have our perspectives revolving around the main people in her life (Laios, Marcille). Theyāre the ones sheās devoted to and people who care about her back a lot too, but to people like her classmates or the towspeople she probably must have seemed like someone who didnāt care about the people around her or her surroundings a lot, who just went on alone and did her own thing.
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What matters to Falin? From what place does her kindness come from? Is a part of her keeping up appearances? And I think thatās the point, the horror of Faligon as well, that we canāt tell just how in control Falin the person is as the chimera (because we are shown that sheās in there, we just donāt know at what degree), that we donāt know her enough to be able to tell when sheās at her most genuine, her most raw. That even if you do settle on none of her being present as Faligon, we have to at least consider it, consider that she may be able to do something like this and have a part in it, brutal and uncaring. That even the lenses we see her through, the people who love her, may be unreliable.
And this is whatās very interesting about her too, she truly is so idealized by people around her as a saint. Sheās so good and kind and caring to everyone etc etc etc. Laios, Toshiro and Marcille all see her as the paragon of goodness in the world. More cynical characters like Namari and Chilchuck have more layered opinions on her, the latter finding her somewhat unnerving because he canāt read her well. But then with that one flashback scene we see thatā¦ Her priorities are intensely focused on Laios and Marcille, she doesnāt care all that deeply about anyone other than them (+ maybe her parents). The rest of the party is in the same danger here but only Laios and Marcille who sheās speaking to get the special ,ention, and if they donāt cross her mind then of course sheād be ready to sacrifice strangers through a risky teleportation. That doesnāt make her not kind or caring!! Just that greater good isnāt exactly her priority. Any means is alright if the end result is her loved ones safe, it usually takes the form of healing and caring, but we see sheās ready to fight and make dangerous calls too. To me thereās this aspect to her that she isnāt as pure and magnanimous as everyone thinks she is, both in-world and interestingly enough meta wise as well, and thereās something interesting to that.
People pleasing implies a need to be liked, needs for the motivation to be that. A yes-man, etc. But if we analyze Falin, her general kind, smiling demeanor is more a matter of passivity I yhonk. Conflict avoidance is easier, so sheās friendly and hopefully thingsāll be smooth sailing. Itās easy to be kind to classmates even if they act wary and rude if you donāt care about what they think either way. Of course she prefers good things happening to people over bad things, she is genuinely kind, but I think people tend to assign her a very grand altruistic way of life when to her the motivation is pretty self-centered. She doesnāt do what she does because she lovesĀ them, but becauseĀ sheĀ loves them.
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One situation thatās interesting to dig into for her way of thinking, and what Iām trying to get at, is Shuroās proposal to her. Iāve seen people saying she hesitated because she didnāt feel comfortable saying no even though she wanted to, "I canāt say no, I donāt want to hurt him", something that sounds sensible and familiar, but itās actually canon in the Adventurerās Bible that the reverse was the case, that she didnāt feel comfortable saying yes. Because the offer was tempting, but itād have been a loveless agreement on her end. And it makes sense sheād want to say yes too, like we see with the Toudens, marriage is very much a political strategical economical thing in their village, thereās even a bit on it on Laiosā Adventurerās Bible profile about dowries, and both siblings were engaged very early. They lived poorly for a long time, itās an enticing idea to marry rich, to have not only yours but your brotherās needs met forevermore easily, which at one point in their careers was their main worry and goal. Why shouldnāt she accept a life of leisure and wealth handed to her by a lovely friend?
So her hesitance was "yeah thatās convenient for me, but where itās everything to him and heartfelt Iām able to be detached because I donāt care about it that muchā¦ Can I do that? Iām not reciprocating, not saying yes in the way that matters. Can I do that to him?" Very caring even though itās not what youād expect, isnāt it?
And central to my analysis, where Iām going with this is, I feel like thatās the thing with her character, that she doesnāt feel as strongly as she "should" sometimes, or feels a different way than she "should", or at least that she feels that way and others say she does. She didnāt mind suddenly leaving the academy, leaving Marcille behind and not seeing her for 4 years. She acted like it was no big deal that she sacrificed herself after getting resurrected after the red dragon fight. And in both those cases it upset the people around her greatly that she didnāt seem to get why it was such a big deal, didnāt seem to care about how theyād experienced her choices.
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So itās a tendencyā¦ And itās not that she doesnāt care, itās just that the way she measures whatās good for the ones she loves isnāt the same as what they themselves think it is (like Laios and Marcille not wanting to be apart from her). Itās an overt but quiet kind of care, itās doing things like following them around and making sure they bathe and have a meal, even if that means she has to be dragged into misery too.
So yes she probably would know "not caring enough/the right way" is one of her perceived flaws, and that informs how she tries to handle her response to Shuroās proposal. Her not wanting to accept like her first gut instinct, is because sheās thinking about reciprocity, about if itād be right to go into this knowing that they have different priorities and she might not be able to keep up with the type and amount of emotions he wants/expects from her. And thatās a big part of her character isnāt it, having expectations pushed onto her. Her trying her best, but in her own way that may seem odd or even unfeeling. Not unlike when she exorcised the ghost as a kid too, unblinking and matter-of-factly, and not seeming to understand why people stared the way they did.
Even though she answered his proposal only post-canon, sheād been pondering it for a while even pre-canon and the Adventurerās Bible explanation was released midstory, so Iām hesitant to assign her much growth about her hesitation and what I went on above, since she still didnāt react "right" with Laios after the red dragon fight (even if she apparently doesnāt remember sacrificing herself) and put herself in that situation in the first place. She hasnāt finished her arc on that flaw of hers is what Iām saying, she for sure still has it, but I certainly think her thoughts on Shuroās proposal shows awareness, both of herself and social.
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And awareness is a big analysis key word with Falin, especially here it can be hard not to conflate not caring with not knowing. How socially aware is she? Itās rather layered, because canonically she wasnāt aware of her ostracization in her hometown at all, and weāre not sure if she knew Shuro was interested in her before he proposed, but she generally seems more socially aware than Laios. She tags along on his caravan job to make sure he isnāt being mistreated (though doesnāt ask he get a salary), she catches social faux-pas more easily like in the genderbend magic mirror omake with Shuro, and interestingly enough sheās very good at empathizing with her parents and understanding their perspective. We see when sheās worried about Marcille coming that she does know about propriety and how appearances shape impressions. Being a chiefās daughter must at least have taught her a thing or two on that front.
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She never stands up for herself, but when it comes to defending others she worries, strategizes and explains.
And this sort of understanding is part of why I think sheād notice the expectations pushed onto her like I was saying earlier, notice how she makes people feel when sheās careless. But if she changes anything about herself in response to noticing is for her to choose, and generally I think itās a sort of inbetween of yes and no: that she becomes more complacent but also more reserved, complying but by hiding more of herself passively. Sheās not sure wether to accept or reject Shuroās proposal, doesnāt want to lead him on? Sheāll just be taking a while to silently consider it, try to keep things as they are for the time being. The third, less conflicting option. She doesnāt feel heard by Marcille who keeps infantilizing her? Just bear with it. Retract yourself emotionally. Settle for it.
We see that when she was young she had a tendency to not read a room, and I think thatās here too. She doesnāt get why her nonchalance upset others but that doesnāt change that she doesnāt want them upset or hurt, so she tries, albeit in maybe a roundabout way. She always had a hard time deeply connecting with people, often keeping herself some amount of emotionally distant: erasing herself from the equation, from the two-way trade that relationships are and making it a onesided thing instead, where all their needs and emotions are directed towards her but she only lets out a bit of her own show. She takes everything upon her and deals with it and tries not to give others this same burden, though not on a conscious level, itās just that sheās learned growing up that she doesnāt have much agency.
Like I went into with my analysis linked at the beginning, I think Falin is used to just taking what she can get and not asking for more, when it comes to social bonds. Sheāll take spending time with her mother no matter what it is they do, sheāll follow Laios to the graveyards and stick by him even when heās pushing her away (because he doesnāt want her borrowing his book or "No copying!" or such). Her father was always distant, cold and uncommunicative, her mother was considered sick from anxiety and the exorcism attempts were the main way they spent time together, at dinner tables there were only her and Laios. The dogs picked on her too even if she loved themā And so did the townspeople, maybe that being normal to her at home is why she didnāt notice the ostracization she suffered.
Sheās always been the last to be asked about decisions or what she wants, never asked to play with at recess, neither her father or Laios asked before sending her to the academy or leaving the village. At home, in the hierarchy she was considered to be below the dogs by the dogs themselves, as someone they can disrespect. Dogs learn from example and behavior, so this means Falin must have been pushed around a lot, and that the family didnāt try hard to rectify the dogsā misconception, likely worsened by Laios regularly wrestling with her as a competition.
So for example when Falin showed Marcille food, it was her way to implicitly ask to have lunch with her without voicing that question, without daring to take up space. Someoneās presence isnāt something you ask for, itās something thatās bestowed upon you, you can follow them around but you canāt ask them to stay or to come with.
Sheās used to her needs and wants not being listened to, so sheās learned to have less wants. Caring less about herself, caring less about other people beyond her safe zone, was a defense mechanism in part. She has a sense of learned helplessness too, like how when Marcille came to take her away from Laios, even though she didnāt want to leave with Marcille it felt so determined and unshakable to her that whatever Marcille decided Falin would have to comply with.
And still, itās the "marrying you would be awfully convenient if it wasnāt that Iād feel guilty for not loving you back, the way you wanted me to when you proposed to me" and the "I donāt regret leaving the academy and leaving you behind without goodbyes but Iām sorry that youāre so much more upset about it than me". Itās the guilt of not loving people back the way they want to be, with the same intensity or fervor.
Itās the autism itās the aroace of it all, itās the emotional stunting and confusion but the pit in your stomach telling you you did something wrong again. The no object permanence even for people you love even for 4 years, itās the feeling like youāre somehow at fault for someone having fallen for you and not knowing what to do with any of it. Iām not joking btw it isnāt uncommon for autistic people to not see their close friends for a long while, not having missed them all that much and for that to be really hurtful for the other if they notice/ask about it. "Hiii bestie! Oh umm youāre uh more emotional about this than I expected, hopefully you wonāt feel alienated by me not feeling as intensely about itā¦"
Soā¦ Yeah. I think she thinks of things and relationships in a different way than most people, and beyond "good things happening to people is good" I donāt think she actually cares about people all that much. Iād argue that Laios shows more desire to connect with others and make relationships. And just like with Laios and his own issues with humans, that doesnāt mean her kindness is a lie or ungenuine or worthless! It just means that like, well itās pretty straightforward really, sheās not all that social and doesnāt see casual bonds as meaning all that much and whatnot. She does want to see people happy, but itās not as much likeā¦ A conviction or goal. Sheās too laser focused on a select few people. "Itās not that theyāre bad people, they just arenāt interested in humans."
And sometimes it feels like people get defensive about Falin in a meta way too, like if you ever so much as imply Marcille isnāt her whole world or that she isnāt the kindest soul out there then youāre saying she doesnāt care at all or sheās evil. And thatās actualy exactly the sort of vibe I wanted to get through with my analysis above here actually haha, that she does care and she is kind but itās not in a way thatās quantified or understood in a way that makes people feel comfortable. In a way, that makes people feel insecure because they donāt have the same logic as her, donāt show love the same. And I think this is another stellar depiction of autism, of parts of it that feels unpalatable to many, if Iām making sense. The fandom idealizes her as well, which isnāt uncommon or surprising for the character embodying the trope of the perfect beloved to rescue.
And disclaimer, as I said in the tags I feel like the details of Falin are pretty vibe based when it comes to analysis, thereās absolutely a valid angle where she does super care about everyone always, feel free to disagree with me on the overarching angle of my analysis. Thereās enough supporting evidence to tip the balance either way I think, and the reason Iāve chosen this angle is I feel itās more compelling for the themes in Dunmeshi of idealization and being different, of desires vs wants, and because I think it neatly ties up Falinās character arc as Iāll go over throughout the next sectionā¦
So.
Not feeling as much as she should. Andā¦ā¦. Is this not Faligon pushed to the max?
You canāt tie down a dragon. As the chimera, she gets to just not care about everyone else and be on her merry way.
Part of it I think is finding comfort and freedom in the mindlessness, in not having the burden of feelings and connections and a consciousness (despite still ending up seeking those in a stranger, Thistle). Like when sheās dead in the purgatory as well, she gets to justā¦ Hang around and do whatever. Similarly to when she played in the forest instead of going to class in her academy days. Thatās what freedom and peace of mind looks like to her. Why she decides to roam post-canon, if only now with the goal to find herself instead, with her mind in tow and somewhere to go back home to.
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Thereās excellent analytic framing out there about how of course, Dungeon Meshi has a big theme of grief and letting go, andā¦ Falin was always a symbol narratively, idealized by characters and often underconsidered by them despite their love. It was Falinās choice to sacrifice herself for Laios, she thought it was worth it, knowing that it would be her end. Her resurrection and the process of it intertwining her soul with a dragonās wasnāt done with her consent, and the subsequent opening it gave her to become a chimera puppet. Sheās stripped of her agency consistently, and soā¦ Itās very noteworthy that the final choice, of wether to go back to life or to stay dead, in that purgatory scene, was up to her. And she chooses life, but I do think about her in those fields and how at home she seemed there. Peaceful, by herself in a vast calm expanse she could explore, free.
Personally, I think freedom is Falinās own subconscious selfish desire. And though to us becoming the chimera is obviously a shackle, I think it felt like freedom to her somewhat, too.
And if you think Iām going wildly off the rails here I want to talk about Laiosā wish of becoming a monster. And to be clear before getting into it, being mentally a monster is absolutely a big part of the appeal for Laios, itās something thatās consistently referred to, something especially pointed out in the werewolf monster tidbit with Lycion. Right panel is from that, but left panel is from the extra with Izutsumi where Lycion talks about suppressing souls in a beastkin body, the human or the beast soul.
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Finding comfort and freedom in being mindless, less sentient, less aware? While being unaware in her hometown might have saved Falin a lot of heartache although perhaps stunted her emotional growth, itās always been Laiosā curse.
Actively, through his choices, he seeks to grow closer to people, to form deeper bonds, to understand and be undertood, butā¦ On a deep seated level, what he desires is to leave humanity and civilization behind. He has an irrational hatred for humans, born from the trauma of ostracization, being different, being beaten up and rejected consistently through his life. Running away from problems is easier. He wants to be free from being a social animal from a social species who has deemed him the black sheep, he thinks itād be simpler to just leave it all behind, people and his own humanity. At its core, to Laios becoming a monster is a power fantasy, a coping daydream of "if only I could be strong enough to never be hurt again, the power to destroy anything I want, the power to go somewhere better, if only it was possible for me to never feel hurt again. If only I could be someone, something, that can never be hurt". "If thereās someone you donāt like, you can gobble āem up in one bite. If you could fly, youād be able to leave this village right now." Itās a childhood fantasy, from a deep sense of being misplaced and a desire to be able to stand fearless, thinly covering up resentment that Laios represses.
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But youāll notice, when the Winged Lion is enticing him in the last page, even now with his lifelong wish of becoming a monster on a silver plate, he still cares about his friends. He still has that sense of responsibility to his friends, doesnāt want to leave knowing theyāll be in danger and alone. The offer that his friends may be left unharmed is already good, but Laios also visibly flinches when the Winged Lion offers to specifically care after Marcille and rid her of her biggest fear. Laiosā care runs that deep. Not unlike with the succubus, he resists temptation until he gets reassured that everyone will be okay. But see, what he desires isnāt to stand alongside Marcille until her last days, it isnāt to stay and see how well his friends will live, itās to go. Itās to leave. Itās to fly away, a monster both in body and mind. He wants to be free from caring here, wants to not have to worry about his friends, wants to just go do his own thing, but for that he needs to feel safe in the belief that said friends will be safe even without him being there to see it, because despite everything else he cares, he does. Itās again that dichotomy about caring and wishing you didnāt, or not caring and wishing you did.
In the end, itās Falin who achieves that wish. Both by becoming a chimera during canon, and by going traveling post-canon. In the latter, being both free of human relationships as something chaining you while still being uplifted by them, by the knowledge that there are people out there you love and that love you. Itās a theme that can also be connected with Marcille, because she gets anxious over people she loves getting out of her sight, worrying theyāll get themselves killed, that time is passing while theyāre away from her. But before she can get to the point where she can both have her freedom and being uplifted by her social bonds, regaining both her individuality and her connections, she has to get a taste of just one at a time. Before they can find balance in her life, she has to see what itās like to have what sheās never had on its own. Unapologetic freedom, and power.
No one can blame you for not caring enough or caring right if youāre a fricking dragon!!!! You make the rules when youāre a beast and you can justā¦ Fly away. From anywhere, from anything. And if a dog bites you you can just crush it. Instead of being pushed around by the dogs because youāre at the bottom of the hierarchy, youāre now at the top, the one with the power to be heard and do what you want without consequences.
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I think sheās on autopilot. I think sheās on autopilot a lot of the time, even before being a chimera, and itās partly why her will is so weak compared to regular dragons. (Again, read my shorter analysis.) Itās familiar to slip back into the role of following someone around unquestioningly. And thatās what is weaponized when sheās a chimera, that instinct sheās been nursing all her life to unconditionally support, defend and follow someone. Only now, that someone doesnāt matter in itself, only the symbol of it. She doesnāt mind, either way is fine. Her will is weak after all, because sheās trained it to take as little place as it could.
Falin cares too much
She spends all her time caring for Laios and Marcille alternating that none of her care and emotional energy is left for others, including herself. So she had to get relieved of all of that for a bit, becoming the chimera so she could reset and recenter and remember that she, too, indeed, is there and an important part of her own life.
So youāre probably seeing the duality Iām talking about here, Falin is very self-sacrificial but for specific people in ways that they often donāt recognize or appreciate. She cares but selectively, both in people, putting all her eggs in the same baskets, and in the ways she cares after them. She doesnāt care a lot, but when she does she cares a lot. Falin doesn't have a lot of earthly attachments, but when she does, they're her world.
In canon her arc, especially post-canon, is to grow beyond Marcille and Laios. Her caring for her close loved ones held her back from looking after her own self-fulfillment needs. And this is what I mean when I say she cares too much; she could gain from caring more about the world besides Laios and Marcille, both lands wise and people wise. She cares too little, but her arc centers her flaw around caring too much instead. Her pitfalls that Kui highlight over the course of the story, while of course her selflessness is appreciated for how she saved Laios and everyone, on a personal level is shown to be self-effacing and damaging. Sheās undermined by Marcille, without the courage to voice her thoughts and wants, she would dedicate her whole life to Laios. And I mean, itās text, in the response to Shuroās proposal extra no less. And sheās so laser focused on her most loved people that sheās fine with being callous and risking othersā lives, even.
Post-canon, she needs to leave to find herself, away from them.
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Herself. What if she wants to just be with herself for a while.
And this is me reaching but I feel like, not unlike Izutsumi who learns to feel this sense of never being alone, always having someone on your side what with having two souls, the dragon in her would make her consider herself more. She finds it easier to care after other people after all, and in the purgatory fields sequence she takes care to bring the bit of dragon left with herā¦ Not unlike with Izutsumi, having two souls forces you to think about your identity and figure yourself out. Besides being this sort of duo now, where if she wants to care after herself she can channel it to that other side of her tooā¦ In meta dragons are symbols of greed, and I think the bit of dragon would push her to want more and listen more to her desires, primal and self-serving as they might be. The dragon soul which warped her human body with feathers and draconic features, her image of perfection marred, her weirdness externalized in a way thatās not palatable. But she doesnāt care, about if her appearance is palatable for most people, she hasnāt for a while now, and thatās great.
Notes & nuance
Iām struggling with the structure of this post, making my points organized, concise and strong at once. Itās difficult to make any statement without going "things are generally like this, but thereās this time that this contradicting thing happened too" or "itās ambiguous enough that you should just follow my interpretation for the time of this analysis" haha, so this is the pit where I put all the stuff that wouldnāt fit well in other places but are interesting for Falinās character. This section is pretty separate from the main thesis of the post, itās just more Falin observations. The post has reached the 30 pics limit so I canāt just pull it up whenever itās relevant but I really encourage scrolling up to read the stuff I highlighted in her Adventurerās Bible profile if you havenāt already.
I think with the shy-looking loner type autistic kid archetype, and knowing she didnāt seem to mind others ostracizing her, itās easy to lose sight of how she was by no means an unemotional child. In all the bits we see of her as a kid sheās bursting with energy and emotions. Canon confirms Laios leaving the village did affect her and make her lonely and she cried a lot, too. She may not be social in the traditional sense, but she was clingy with her brother, and she also never was all that shy about who she was, wearing her heart on her sleeve.And okay. Okay okay okay. Speaking of appearances. About what I said of her not caring about what people think of her, even seeming defiant with the caravan leaderā¦ Thereās one istanxe of her caring actually, and itās about how her face blushes easily. I remembered it as being because Laiosā said it and as I rambled Laiosā words are her world, but actually itās ambiguous. Itās only Marcille imagining up this scenario where Laios says Falin looks weird because of it, thereās no evidence Laios said or thought that at any point. And on the other handā¦
Her Adventurerās Bible says: "5, Lovely Skin. She isn't particularly careful with it, but Falin's skin is fair and beautiful. Possibly as a result, her cheeks seem to flush easily. Marcille's always saying she's cute, and she secretly has a sizable complex about it." The phrasing makes me think the complex she has over her blushing might have developed because of Marcille more than Laios. "Marcille's always saying she's cute, and she secretly has a sizable complex about it." It could be related to how Marcille gets swept away and infantilizes her, calling her cute wanting her to wear cute feminine outfits etc. Again this feels like it relates to Falinās struggle to be seen for who she is and what she wants to be seen as, her struggle to be recognized, having ideals and perspectives pushed onto her. Here Falin is insecure over her blushing implicitly because she doesnāt like being called cute over it, but thatās not how she wants people to see her. She doesnāt want Marcille to always see her as her 10 years old adorable friend. Like if your friend said you had puppy energy, it can be flattering, but it can also make you insecure.
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Hereās a link to what I mentioned about her being uncomfortable wearing feminine outfits. It does seem to be more about comfort than the aesthetic perse, to me. Interestingly the shirt & shorts donāt seem like they show much more skin than her beach outfit, so maybe itās more about the shirt and shorts being tight-fitting. Like the skirts and heels they feel stifling. Again a bit with themes of freedom and not wanting an aesthetic pushed onto her. So yes just to reiterate, I think this is more about self-affirmation and how her identity and self-image gets shown to others, rather than wishing to hide parts of her body like her blushing etc for people pleasing reasons. Makeup was a way for her to appear how she wants to and feel more confident. It was a way to take control over her own image. She didnāt keep doing it, the narrator stating the process to be ātroublesomeā. Ultimately she still prioritizes her comfort, and it was a lot of recurring efforts to go through.
And on the topic of appearancesā¦ A friend once asked me: "Does she really hide herself or not? I keep thinking about "falin is herself first and foremost" (in her Adventurerās Bible profile) itās just so. Hmmmmmmmm... I just keep seeing people say she hides her real self from people when I feel like the issue is more about her charitable traits straying too far into becoming flaws but people around her dont realize that..."
Imo the thing is, I donāt think she hides her identity, but I do think she suppresses her individuality for othersā sakes if that makes sense. In the way that only post-canon does she allows herself to go see what the world is like, but thatās not personality wise itās needs and wants wise. And I do feel like thatās the closest interpretation of canon, she says it herself she doesnāt know what she wants because everything sheās done was always about Laios or Marcille, but she doesnāt change her demeanor or personality for others. But she *will*, like, not ask for things she wants directly, like sharing lunches with Marcille at the academy, she suppresses her wants, doesnāt ask things from people and doesnāt hope for more, hope for better. I donāt think we ever see her actively repress her personality, except like what, being more laidback than enthusiastic but I do feel like unlike Laios with her itās less āappearing stoic to fit in moreā and more āyeah iāll just chill until Iām needed or something activates my enthusiasmā. To which said friend quoted: "to feel like you belong you need to be useful. when you canāt be useful the next best thing is being convenient."
And speaking of passivityā¦ I want to speculate about Shuroās proposal some more. Shuro and her got along well though we donāt know how much, or how often they hung out, she even saved him from a nightmare. Why did she take so long answering Shuroās proposal? Was it an effort to preserve or was she really just that conflicted? Procrastination probably yes, but what is the core motivation of itl Considering she ended up saying no to travel the world instead, I donāt think it was as simple as āshe wanted to say yes for convenienceā. Logically itās what would have been best, but itās not what she wanted for herself, but it was and still is hard for her to even know what she wants. Probably, since like she states it was a great offer and she doesnāt think sheāll get proposed to again, itās that self-effacing tendency that yes itād be convenient and logical, and that makes her want to say yes even if her spirit isnāt in it, because if itās convenient then thatās more important than her feelings on the matter. Man alsoā¦ Obviously Marcille is very vocal about how she shouldnāt get with Shuro, but imagine how Falinās whole perspective on marriage must have felt when her only friend ever is a Romantic with a capital R who gushes about idealized romances and grand gestures and True Love and doing things with fully pure feelings all the time.
AND speaking of passivity!!! How much Falin is "there" as the chimera, just how much sheās master of her actions, is left ambiguous and intentionally so imo, but sheās for sure there & influencing the dragonās action to some degree. Having a dragonās foot on her in purgatory that keeps her from moving for sure visualizes how it must have been like, but thereās Falin calling out to her brother Laios, thereās the kind attentions towards Thistle that are so Falin-like, and most explicitly thereās the Adventurerās Bible stating "Even after becoming a chimera, she has a soul that's as kind as ever", which I honestly dislike, a fantranslation puts it as "Even as the chimera, her caring nature remains" and either way to me it feels like confirmation that itās her giving those berries to Thistle. Now, wether or not she has the mental capacity of a chicken or something closer to human Falin, no clue, there has to at least be some kind of mind bond between monsters and the dungeon lord, compelling or forcing them to go along with orders, or calling her to him in distress like with the fight on the first floor. But yes, itās interesting to wonder what it is that a Falin, with her kind soul but without her human mind, would willingly do. On her profile, sheās described as Thistleās guardian and servant. The power dynamic between the two are very interesting, I already went into how it might have felt like freedom to her while being fake so Iāll reign myself in and just mention it again. Sheās still at the heel of someone, only now itās someone who doesnāt care about her back. Going from being cared for so strongly that itās suffocating and they would defy death and the world for you, to being devoted to someone who has not one feeling about you besides your utility as a paw . She has all this care to give and to focus onto others and he has none to send back to her and I think thatās part of it. In a way, being left with only her own feelings and a void, without expectations or feelings or ideals pushed onto her, it might have been soothing in itself, and eye opening. But yes the way I think of it, her care for Thistle isnāt unlike the care she gives the ghosts.
Interestingly, the care she extends for the ghosts is sending their soul to a peaceful death, freeing them, of life and any earthly attachment. Take that as you will with the themes of freedom and burden of life and mind, immortality and becoming a warped version of who you were, and such and such.
But going back on the topic of connections and bonds for a bit, I think academy days Falin & Marcille is super interesting bc weāve never really see Falin form a connection besides with Marcille and even that is kept pretty ambiguous. When was the point that Falin started seeing Marcille as a friend and seeking her out? When was the "Iāll lay down my life for you" point? Iām so fascinated by how she wanted to share lunches with Marcille but never truly asked, only made little "hey want this? I found it isnāt it cool?" gestures of showing things to herā¦ Itās the only way she knows to ask, or maybe itās the only way she feels comfortable to. In all the scenes of young Falin and Marcille Falin seems comfortable in her friendship with Marcille, but at the same timeā¦ I think we see Falin at her most insecure around Marcille, because she really does care about Marcille and what she thinks of her so much, and while Marcille is a bit of an unstoppable force tornado style (affectionate) Falin is something of a doormat. Iād usually say showing her berries was her earnest way to connect and be like "Hey bestie look at this! :]" , but thereās a real possibility that she was self-conscious and holding herself back.
Friendship and Marcille! Involving Laios into this too but, again with the autism thing of not showing you care in ways that others understand, Marcille being very overtly affectionate and clingy was so so soo importantā¦ Marcille keeping on hanging out with Falin and caring after her, and being undeterred/unbothered by Falin not always seeming like she cares all that much back in the conventional way, as in Falin acts nonchalant and a bit like she didnāt mind wether she was there with her or not during her outings to the cave dungeon. Caring and being clingy and so affectionate despite that in such a classic Marcille way is soo needed, because so often people will get discouraged by say, their friend not keeping in contact regularly/well, seeming disaffected or as happy-go-lucky as ever even if you havenāt seen each other in a while or when theyāre alone, and yes thereās potential for a strong friendship there but someone like Falin wonāt be committed enough to reciprocating attention the same wayā¦ I hope Iām making sense but yes this angle in particular strongly correlates to autism. And the way Marcille always initiates physical affection, both Toudens being awkward about initiating touch because they donāt know if thatās allowed, if theyāre going about the social interaction the right way, if theyāre allowed to ask that out of someoneā¦
Another fun observation to make is about the 4 years Falin and Marcille spent apart. Marcille despite being of a long-lived race treated these 4 years of separation with more gravity than Falin did. Falin brushed it off very dismissively to say the least. But then you remember that the amount of time Falin and Laios didnāt see each other after he left the village was 8 years. Double the years, double the time. And that reminder makes Falinās actions so starkingly understandable. Of course she wouldnāt see 4 years of separation as a long time if 8 years of separation with her beloved brother is her point of comparison. Of course sheād see it as worth it to leave Marcille for 4 years if it meant ending those 8 years instead, especially if she was worried about him (the reason why she followed him into his caravan job).
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A friend always says that while Falin is the center of Marcilleās world, Laiosā is at the center of Falinās, and I tend to agree.
Itās fun to think of how her career dreams had always been shaped by Laios, even when they were kids. Of course thereās how traveling the world began as a dream they talked about and shared, but thereās how he reassures her by listing cool jobs she could do like traveling exorcist, etc. And then of course, she gave up on her magic academy and career path to follow him and do odd jobs, etc etc.
I should go into the violence of Faligon more tbh, because I think thereās an interesting parallel to how she has no problem wacking things with a mace, wether a ghost when she was a kid or a walking mushroom as an adult. Something that often surprises fans when they remember, I donāt really want to get into the whole " Falin hates violence and hates seeing people in pain to an intense degree. āIf you die do it somewhere where I canāt seeā styleā interpretation, it has some weight but on the whole I donāt vibe with the theory she has a particular aversion to violence, she seems to be fine resorting to it as much as any other adventurer as long as it isnāt needlessly against ghosts. And Falinās sudden mace hits are fun to me too because itās not her becoming a berserker when the need arises as much as her becoming active because something she cares about is threatened, and that brings her out of her passivity from 99% of the rest of the time. Thistle included. Falin always could be violent, she just dislikes senseless carnage. The Shuro party vs chimera fight is a bit ambiguous on it, because you can argue she only attached after being provoked, presumably offscreen as well while the ninjas went off to fight the harpies. Falin becomes the most active when she needs to protect someone, she has no qualms doing whateverās needed for that, wether it be leaving the academy & Marcille without notice no matter the consequences or what her parents think, or teleporting the party, etc.
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Iām working on a post specifically pointing out all the differences between Falin and Laios, but yes I think both of them selfishly desire freedom in different yet similar ways. Falinās dark secret is "Ethics and risks are optional if it means I can protect those I love" like the teleportation, and Laiosā is "Ethics and risks are optional if I can be free of all this bullshit" aka humanity aka his wish with the winged lion.
Conclusion
Flighted birds have hollow bones. With freedom and wings there comes risks and sacrifices.
Tldr: Falin doesnāt care all that much, sheās very go with the flow. For example if someone hates her she doesnāt really care because thatād require her caring about what they think of her in the first place, and she only cares about her loved ones. She smiles, but itās more a state of being rather than out of active goodness: sheās canonically very genuinely kind, but itās more out of a general want for pleasantness than active care itself. Sheās passive, and softspoken because thatās just how she seems, but she has no problem hopping into bushes or getting heated if something calls to her enthusiasm or calls for action and a hit of the olā mace. Her loved ones needing tending or protective is what makes her go from passive to active. That familiar autopilot mode of making someone the center of her world and following their every move is what made her so easy to be controlled as the chimera, even ferociously defending him with her life. Faligon is most interesting to me with the theme of freedom. Sheās shackled to Thistle and out of her mind, but thereās also a sense of empowerment and freedom from expectations and society. She spends all her time caring for Laios and Marcille alternating that none of her care and emotional energy is left for others, including herself. So she had to get relieved of all of that for a bit, becoming the chimera so she could reset and recenter and remember that she, too, indeed, is there and an important part of her own life. Thereās a way of caring after others that can be selfish, not unlike Marcille being overly coddling and not listening to Falin. In Falinās case, I think it was so selfless that it ended up looping back around to erasing her sense of self. In losing sight of herself, that devotion becoming neither quite selfish or selfless but a fact of life and a state of nature, muddled by its lack of direction.
Sheās sooo used to never being able to ask things out of others, you get the crumbs of affection and approval that others offer to you unprompted and thatās it donāt hope for more donāt ask for more. (Also reflected in how she follows her loved ones around without complain or personal opinions and how sheās not willing to rock the boat and affirm herself in her relationships like with Marcille during canon)
Falin cares so much, so much and so laser focused on her few loved ones that it blinds her and she loses sight of everything else, she ends up neglecting herself and the rest of the world. As Kui puts it, Falin is herself first and foremost. She just had to remember the importance of that.
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I see her as an enneagram 9, which can be surprisingly accurate and fun to research through the lense of Falin. Excerpt below from this book, but like my god, good way to put it
Thatās it, ty for reading. Even if itās a bit of a mess, hopefully youāll have gained a thing or two from it. Falin is a character hard to pin down, but it is very gratifying when you find the way that the puzzle pieces fit together right for your own understanding of the story. Fantranslation of the shuro proposal comic by @/thatsmimi here.
Hereās my spotify playlist for her if youād like
Sometimes love is about letting go, a lesson a lot of the cast needed to learn. Self-loveās important too, and just like with diets we need a healthy balance.
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#I find it hard to express myself right on the topic of Falin. Both because the issue is pretty vibe based and because we donāt#get that many moments with her. So thereās ambiguous scenes up to interpretation addressing a layered topic and like. Save me. Save me#As always falling down the rabbithole of starting an analysis about a specific facet and then needing to explain everything else around it#Iām doomed. Iām getting lost in the sauce.#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#falin touden#analysis#character analysis#meta#autistic reading#aroace reading as well. Sort of. Itās mentioned#The aroace autistic guilt of not caring back in the way/with the intensity youāre expected to#As always this is just my interpretation blablabla#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#She loves like a dog aka unconditionally and happy with eating scraps of affection and attention off the floor#Laios touden#heās here too bc they are an unit#If youāre not capitalizing on the uncanny vibe autistic effect for Falinās character u are missing an opportunity imo#Fairyās child is written all over her. Her cryptic-ness is the point so why am I surprised sheās hard to fully pin down#Even with the graveyard scene it was Falin following Laiosā¦ Sob. Laios could feel responsible her powers were found out#Iād like to rework this at some point if i get better at structuring. Iām not satisfied by the level of clarity#Will 90% for sure edit stuff in if i find more to say.#Fumi rambles#Crazy style#I give a TLDR at the end if youād prefer. It doesnāt have the like evidence/explanations alongside but it makes the main points i think
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Last part for old GF sketches
(Actually, most of these aren't old at all, but their average is brought down by the last picture, which I drew back in August and kept forgetting to post)
#fanart#drawing#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#i wish more people talked about Ford's piano skills#and his shadow puppet skills#i forgot what i was thinking when i rushed these out#something about Ford only taking pride in his skills because of how other people (ie Stanley) appreciate them#and how he attributes everything exceptional about himself to his hands bc that's where his deepest insecurities/motivations come from#but that isn't something Stan or most people think about at all#but he also IS really talented#and so he gets this big fragile ego#stemming from his mother and brother's praise#but also filbrick's neglect#so it's like outside validation is a substitute/reminder of the people that really loved him#bht also he thinks he's different from them and better than them#but he does love them#and he likes making them proud because he likes seeing them happy#maybe he doesn't know how else to make people happy#something something#Stan being his biggest supporter is a double edged sword#because his opinion matters the most and then he's gone#and Ford doesnt have anyone to show off to anymore#OR anyone who can call him a showoff when he gets too into his own head#OR the person he was pitted against in the first place that made him feel special#because- knowingly or not- they always compared themselves#idk man#Ford is an interesting guy and his head fascinates me
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catch us if you can! ā
#the drawings that made my ipad scream in agony#project sekai#polysho#polysho week 2024#emu otori#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#pjsk#prsk#proseka#colorful stage#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#and tbh theyre pretty overt so#emukasa#ruinene#emks walk into a store in plain clothes and see rui and nene and emu goes Tsukasakun its the detectives we have to hide !!!!!#and tsukasa goes heh.. no need emu.. without our genius disguises snd hair extensions on they wont recognize a thing!!!#(both talking at 200db) (nene voice) Are they stupid?#ruis just a bit too happy about being consistently outsmarted to notice. emks is only winning at phantom thievery by looney tunes logic tho#Emukasa are just team rocket-ing it. and wxs miku much like the detestable Meowth#POLYSHOW WEEK IS KILLING ME AND I ONLY DID 2 DAYS#i drew this whole thing literally just bc i wanted emu in the phantom thief suit. everything else was secondary#my petition to abolish the costume gender lock#I NEVER WANT TO LOOK. AT ANY OF THESE FUCKING OUTFITS EVER AGAIN. EVERRRR. NIGHTMARE DRAWING.#COUGHS UP BLOOD AND GOES TO LESVE THE ROOM BUT I HIT MY HEAD ON THE DOORFRAME AND BLACK OUT.#this is gonna be a bitch to post on instagram with it's Stupid fucking Crop. Guh#FUCK I FORGOT TO PUT THE SHADOW ON THEIR STUPID HANDCUFF LINK dont care dont feel like it [coughs up more blood
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DROP MORE OF YOUR WIZARD OF OZ DESIGNS AND MY LIFE IS YOURS!!!!!!
Worked out my designs just for this ask
#wizard of oz#wicked#fiyero tigelaar#boq woodsman#dorothy gale#elphaba thropp#art#digital art#fanart#no glinda sorry I think my hand would die#I have no idea how I spent so long on these#I wanna do something cooler with Fiyero's outfit later but for rn he justs gets his movie outfit#you can tell where I struggled bcs all those parts have suspiciously clean lineart compared to everything else#boq was perfect right away. genuinely my fav design here I think. hes so everything#No glinda sorry I could feel my hand trying to cramp#Aw fuck I was gonna draw Nessa in this lineup too.
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