#her traumas exploited for what? politics??? fuck that

[absolutedestinyapocalypsse]

i love how as you read more into tlt, the ninth house seems more and more normal. Like if i'm at an immoral evil government competition, and i use human fat as soap and animate skeletons to do menial labor, i'm gonna LOSE if my competition is the third house, represented by ianthe "who HASN'T eaten human flesh and fucked a corpse" tridentarius. My weird skeleton thing seems normal, suddenly. Well-adjusted, even. It's recycling. They're using resources in a sustainable way. Normal and regular and productive for a post-climate change apocalypse universe.

People go on and on about how Muir drops you into gtn hearing from the person who knows the least about whats happening, and does not hand hold the reader through the crazy shit that occurs, and that's all true. It truly is a crazy writing decision to make your first pov character come from the universe's equivalent of amish fundamentalists. But the reader is actually done a huge favor being dropped into the ninth house first, because we already understand that space is cold and what catholic nuns are, and what goths look like, and what lesbians are. Very little time is wasted in the first chunk of gtn ripping hair out of your head wondering what the fuck is going on, because for all of its strangeness, the ninth house is already the most familiar thing we're gonna get.

Because THEN we learn that this whole universe's medieval chivalry system is designed to groom people from CHILDREN to not only be exploited and used as human batteries for necromancers, but to LIKE it. to wax poetic about it. to confuse it for love, to write fucking academic papers about it! Then we learn about planet flipping, an act so horrific and violent it turns the planet's soul into a massive vengeful monster capable of killing GOD. Like what do you MEAN the animals "change"? Is this why noodle has six legs? I would MUCH prefer to wear skeleton makeup and repent forever if the alternative was to witness my family dog grow TWO EXTRA LIMBS because the planet he lived on fucking died. Suddenly, living in the asscrack of a planet where no light gets in seems like a sweet deal when the whole solar system is lit by a sun that MAKES YOU GO CRAZY. The ninth house's WORST sin, killing 200 babies to make Harrow, a waste of resources and an act so terrible it haunts Harrow for the entire span of her life, is like a BLIP compared to the death count Jod's empire. God even hears about it and he's like, no big deal! The cohort probably kills that amount of people in a DAY.

And its ALSO tragic because you realize that all of this trauma and abuse that Gideon goes through is not really because of the ninth house at all. It's really just an individual skill issue that she wasn't treated with compassion. Nobody hated her because she's jesus or a bomb, nobody even KNOWS she's a bomb. It's just Priamhark and Pelleamena being deeply guilty and scared people that motivates her treatment, and absolutely nothing else.

They did something bad, and they know it, and Gideon survived it, and they can't kill her to cover it up, and that's IT. They killed themselves for pride, because they were afraid of the consequences of their actions (both the baby killing and Harrow opening the tomb) coming back to bite them. You can argue this is the catholicism of it all, and I wouldn't say you're wrong, but compared to the cavalier system, where exploitation is in the very lining of the house's institutions, the ninth house is really removed from the space empire's blood factory. This is compared to the fourth house where they have tons of children to be CANNON FODDER to join the cohort at fucking 14, compared to the eight house uncle nephew fuckery, even the fifth house which actually does seems nice to live on but also seems to have the fourth house in some sort of fucked up political bear hug??? (maybe the fourth house has so many kids in order to fight the fifth's battles? which is EXACTLY what jod's whole empire is about; politely stirring your tea and acting nice while you destroy everything) compared to ALL OF THAT, the cruelty that Gideon faces is really more a bug of the ninth's system than a feature.

There's nothing baked into the culture and everyday life of the ninth house that necessitated that cruelty; in fact, for such a pragmatic and resource-scarce place, it's WEIRD that a strong able-bodied young person was treated like a waste of space and resources. It could just have easily not happened, if Harrow's parents had been different people. Maybe they were products of their environment, but so was Harrow, and she values Gideon's life SO MUCH that she'd literally rather carve out parts of her own brain than exploit her. Gideon grows up knowing really NOTHING about cavaliers, so remote from the horrors of the empire that she develops an idea of what the cohort is from porn magazines. And in a lot of ways, that upbringing was desolate and terrible, and in a lot of other ways it literally DID NOT HAVE TO BE.

Gideon's MAIN THING is that she wants to be useful, to be needed, to be loved and it SUCKS that she couldn't even get it in the one place where she was actually an invaluable resource, where the death empire had the weakest reach. Gideon can't even blame her lack of love on the fucked up chivalry system like everyone else can because it JUST WASNT REALLY RELEVENT!?!?! This is like if i rolled up to the trauma competition and everyone else was raised in a nuclear warzone by wolves or something and i grew up in like, the suburbs and was raised by teachers and i somehow STILL WON. truly what the fuck guys.

[quidfree]

accidentally deleted this ask but for the anon asking what my gripes were with iwtv’s finale / this season:

look i love this show. ive never read the books* and i thoroughly enjoyed the one time i watched the movie mostly bc of tom cruise and kirsten dunst acting circles around bradd pitt. the show to me really elevates the material, it has phenomenal writing, the acting is obviously stellar, i think it does a great job at being that dark gothic romance that is both deeply tragic and fucked up and funny etc etc.

a key element of the adaptation is evidently that they have recontexualised the characters in ways that both add depth and nuance to them. when we meet him louis is a black gay man in a deeply racist and homophobic setting who hardens himself to survive and rise above as much as he can. claudia is a young black woman who has always faced societal violence and neglect because of this. armand’s whole arc as an exploited and fetishised child whose trauma has become his identity is also encased in colonial violence. i’m not from the communities they are so i can’t speak for everyone, but i think for the most part the show is pretty good at having these changes enrich the show and acknowledge what an impact this has on dynamics and the characters. s1 explicitly addresses how lestat handwaves away the racism louis experiences as something he can just overcome because he’s a vampire now, how lestat himself plays into racist imbalances of power in his patriarchal relationship in their home esp wrt claudia, how he goes to capture claudia on the train being portrayed to echo a slave-catcher, etc. s2 has the trial obviously set up like a lynching (claudia says so much herself), with lestat’s testimony framing the two black people he abused as the aggressors and himself as the victim, and even when lestat is genuinely apologetic and remorseful it’s because he’s allowed his tears and victimhood while louis and claudia are not. all this to say there is obviously lot of conscious thought that goes into the way the characters’ races feed into the show and the story and it oftentimes is very effective, as well as aware of audience perceptions of the characters and how the irl audience’s own biases might need addressing.

unfortunately for me there are two aspects of s2 that i feel are kind of outliers in this regard, and not in a way that makes sense/feels intentionally uncomfortable to me. 1) is madeline’s backstory, and 2) is the change of having armand actually have been plotting to murder both louis and claudia at the trial, and lestat have been the one to save louis.

1) to me is just really… weird. i feel like i know why they wrote her that way. it makes madeline a ~morally grey character~ by default so she fits in with the rest of the cast, and there is an element to the very real misogynistic vitriol and violence post-ww2 directed at french women even falsely accused of having slept with the invading nazi occupiers that feels very in line with the things the show likes to examine and point to as examples of plain old human barbarism and othering. but the way they present it in the show, unquestioned, not as a dubious survival tactic or a multi-faceted situation but an actual love story that madeline has no remorse for, is very off-putting to me. madeline is not louis and claudia who ignore the atrocities of the war because those are human affairs and they are no longer human but supernatural monsters. madeline is a normal person whose peers- jewish people, queer people (surely her own community), political dissidents of any kind- have been put down like dogs throughout the occupation, sent to prison camps at best and death camps at worst, and she never even has a line of dialogue addressing conflicting feelings about this? no one ever challenges her on it? the people painting nazi symbols on her shop are consistently framed as villainous? it just feels weird to me that claudia’s “weird white lady” has this saccharine romance with her, a black woman, without the show ever exploring any friction in that dynamic given madeline’s apparently uncomplicated nazi romance. madeline being a femme tondue is a great idea, but the execution leaves to be desired imo.

2) … oh boy. i feel like i’m wading into discourse here bc i’ve seen really confrontational takes on this, esp a lot of “responses to” people who didn’t like this change, where this is presented as those people being dumb babies who are blinded by their liking of armand and don’t Understand The Show. im sure there are those of which this is true (and ppl have explained better than me how antiblackness feeds into everyone jumping into ship wars and defense of louis’ abusive partners in general) but also it feels very reductive of some valid questions people have. people can argue the change is consistent with armand’s characterisation, which, sure, even though i feel like it feels a little flimsy / contradictory for armand to finally Choose The Coven and allow for them to execute louis but then go feed him blood and allow him to revenge-kill all of them immediately afterwards, etc. i don’t mind characters being More Evil on the Evil Vampire show.

my bigger question is why this change was made. bc my sense is that the change is less about armand than it is about lestat, and specifically setting the stage for the loustat reconciliation, and i do not love that. it’s one thing to make it so armand wanted to kill louis too, just for the extra drama of daniel’s reveal and scale of his betrayal, another push for louis to leave. it’s another to make it so lestat was the heroic captive who not only was forced to be there by armand as per but also bravely exerted the limits of his strength to save louis from execution and then nobly didn’t tell him about this. these are both monstrous vampires who have abused and betrayed louis in their own ways (armand has already orchestrated claudia’s death and kept louis in a purportedly protective mind prison for decades! that’s betrayal enough! you could even have armand originally want to kill louis too and then change his mind!), so why at this juncture choose to have lestat save louis in a move that was originally armand’s? just from the way the audience (fandom and casual watchers) is reacting it makes me wonder if the showrunners were just oblivious to how much this worsens people’s takes of armand (the brown man) being the “real villain” and lestat (the white man) being the redeemed self-sacrificing figure. i’m sure people will say this is placing too much weight on race blah blah blah but it was so jarring to me and the change in viewer attitudes so immediate that it left a really bad taste in my mouth.

inb4 the inevitable: i actually really liked the loustat reunion in the finale! i don’t hate loustat! i like all of the dynamics between all of the characters, albeit my favourite louis ship is louis x therapy (an obvious inference from my favourite character being daniel lmao). this is not a change that i hate because i’m a bitter lestat hater. i have no issue with armand doing bad things, episode 5 was my favourite episode! i just think this particular choice was weird, and felt kind of thoughtless in the service of speedrunning a lestat hero role in advance of his season.

i have other less tangential complaints but overall i think this is a great season of television. these are just two points that stood out to me as being handled with less grace than i expect of iwtv.

*i just started reading the first book today on the airplane so. we’ll see how that goes. book loustat is so funny compared to the show. book 1 louis hates his ass 😭

[alicentflorent]

how would you change the writing for Alicent in season 2 if you had the chance?

I’d have to go back to season 1 episode 8 (post driftmark) to have her characterisation and development make sense because 1x08 - 2x02 Alicent is pretty inconsistent and all over the place as if you’ve had different writers writing their own version of her and poorly putting it all together.

After driftmark, although she apologised for almost harming lucerys, a child. Her resentment for Rhaenyra and Viserys grows. Finally Rhaenyra confirmed what Alicent feared, that her children would be in danger and Viserys has proven for the final time that he won’t protect their children, he’ll never treat his second family as equals to his first. Even she lives in Emma’s shadow as Aegon lives in Balon’s.

Alicent has to take matters into her own hands to protect her children and this realisation leads to the formation of the green council. Instead of becoming even more ingrained in her faith she struggles with it, she knows she’s breaking her vows and going against duty and honour when she starts plotting to usurp Rhaenyra.

She also struggles to deal with how Aegon turns out (which did happen in canon. He terrifies her but he’s a monster of her own creation and she needs him ready to take the throne for the sake of all her children and grandchildren.

When she tells Rhaenyra “you’ll make a fine queen” bitch is lying, she wants Rhaenyra to feel security after she watched Rhaenyra order the death of vaemond velaryon for the sake of her own children. Alicent needs to play the game if she wants to take Rhaenyras throne out from under her. Rhaenyra won’t let it go so easily.

When viserys calls her “Rhaenyra, my only child” this is when Alicent snaps. She’s continued to be a dutiful wife and cared for him as he got sicker, she even tolerated being called aemma over the years but now he thinks Rhaenyra is caring for him? Rhaenyra who didn’t visit in 6 years? And not only that, he thinks of her as his only child. “I gave you four healthy children who you ignored, I cared for you, I was loyal to you and you now you can’t even remember our names?!” - Alicent leaves the room upset, comforted by criston. There is no misunderstanding of prophecies. When she is later woken by the news of viserys death, this is when the green council is revealed. When Alicent sits at the head of the table and announces viserys it’s revealed that she’s been actively plotting for years. She announces Aegon is the new king.

Episode 9 probably goes about the same but we see more tension building with Cole as a widowed Alicent still struggles with her faith and who she really is outside of being a wife and a mother. When Larys tries to blackmail her she pulls rank because she’s still the dowager queen and can have his before he speaks a word against her. Alicents final scene of the season is still the same.

Season 2 so far: b&c happens similarly to how it does in the books, Alicent is still in the scene itself (but it’s focused on helaena). We see the moment when Alicent gives into her desires and decides to do something for herself. We get clarity on how how their relationship started after seeing them slowly get closer over the years rather than it just being “so these two religious sexually repressed hypocrites are fucking now”. Alicent and Criston also start scheming to get rid of Otto when she realised she’s just a pawn after being undermined in front of the council

Episode 2: we see her grieve as her crisis of faith returns. It’s jahaerys that she lights a candle for not Lucerys. She still struggles to comfort her own kids and the episode is very much focused on how everyone grieves differently and how the poison of politics and self image is destroying them from the inside. They don’t know how to come together to mourn like the blacks did. They each grieve alone and the only time we see them interact is when Otto is exploiting their trauma for PR and this is also causes conflict within the family. The episode is written in a way that has you empathising with each of them to an extent - it has a similar vibe to the aftermath of Logan Roy’s death. The siblings grieving in different ways both coming together and then pushing each other away as their team are already coming up with PR strategies and focusing on the company and their profits and which grieving child is the best asset etc they really could have as their own version of the Roy’s with the throne as the waystar/royco equivalent. Also they really should have cut down on the Rhaenyra scenes in that episode. The first two episodes as a whole need fixing because every character got screwed.

[metanarrates]

I'm really interested in your takes on hunger games bc despite what this site says based on their memories of reading it 10 years ago in middle school I do think it's a little overhyped and there are political messages in the third book that are straight-up counterrevolutionary. and keep in mind it IS for 13 year olds and as an adult I personally would never reread it so if you've underwhelmed that may be one of the reasons why...I do look forward to hearing your thoughts on the final book if you get there tho! thanks for sharing your thoughts so far - in hindsight the narration WAS extremely cruel to haymitch for his trauma response. fwiw there are more compassionate depictions of addiction later but none that I think are...great

yeah I agree that me being underwhelmed is largely due to it being YA. it has goals and priorities that are not at all interesting to me given that i am a decade too old for it. I'm also not exactly sure how to handle it critically due to that - a lot of its political stuff makes no fucking sense but I don't know whether I'm expecting too much from a YA novel!

my other big critique, though, is I feel that it pulls its punches when it comes to its depiction of teenagers exploited by being objects of popular entertainment. again, I'm very aware that this is a novel For Children, but so far in the novel (just finished part 1,) there's just not as much discomfort as I feel there needs to be. katniss enjoys the food, she finds the outfits cinna has her wear pretty, and as much as she hates being trained to be a cute object of entertainment, there just is not a strong sense of her being dissected for the benefit of an audience. it's played quite straight that the audience likes her For Her. I want it to make my skin crawl and it doesn't! isn't the point supposed to be that it's scary and uncomfortable!

[queercremation]

ALRIGHT FICTION CAN AND DOES HAVE REAL LIFE POLITICAL RELATIONS, RIGHT???

hear me out, Boku no Hero Academia explores how failing of government and powerful organizations exploit and misuses their power to fuck over other people for the sake of gaining more money (i.e. All Might and the Hero Public Safety Commission, Hero Rankings, Quirk Discrimination, THE EXISTANCE OF UNDERGROUND HEROS AS ATTEMPTS TO CHANGE AND GO AGAINST THE GREED FROM WITHIN, etc) [i'm aware this will piss a bunch of people off]

Here are headcanons that I think fit with the characterization

All For One would 100% be a zionist, he'd definitely give quirks to other zionists, he'd be in it for the "chaos" and would tell the League (mostly Shigaraki) that supporting zionism would help their cause (it won't)

Shigaraki would be a zionist up until Kamino, once All For One is imprisoned and he see's Kurogiri as having left him (Gigantomachia and 'Giri gets arrested), he does his best to lead the League on his own; he goes and learns, both online and cuz they're living on the streets, he gets to know (at least a bit) the other members and begins breaking out of the echo chamber AFO had him in, then after the battle with Re-Destro and becoming the leader of the Paranormal Liberation Front he would stand firmly as an anti-zionist and support the struggle for the liberation Palestinians

Toga and Spinner would both openly and strongly support the liberation of Palestinians. I've grouped them together here because of the nature of the quirks, they both understand what it's like to be demonized for a part of them that they have no control over. Toga would understand the pain of having to hide that part of her (aka her parents forcing her to hide the nature of her quirk), and Spinner would understand being unable to hide that part of him and then being blamed and abused for just existing. Grouped together because they'd have similar understandings and feelings.

Dabi would 100% be an anti-zionist, I hc that Endeavour would be a Zionist and therefore at first Dabi was only an anti-zionist (after waking from his coma) to spite his father, but then he started to see some parallels between him and some Palestinians. During his time on the streets I think he'd definitely burn and start fights with zionists and definitely has a hatred for them; i could see this (along with his general anger) could factor into his scars being as bad as they are

Kurogiri wouldn't necessarily be a zionist, up until his imprisonment he was owned by AFO and would definitely act like his was just to avoid more probable torture. Once in jail he has a lot of time to think and after the visit by Aizawa and Yamada (Eraserhead and Present Mic) the control AFO and Garaki had has been shaken, I think his views are definitely more towards anti-zionist but there's a lot of trauma-focused therapy work and deprogramming to be done. However, Oboro, Kurogiri's 'base', would definitely be anti-zionist and prolly learned about everything from Aizawa and Yamada.

Compress is anti-zionist and possibly learned from his father, he 100% troll zionist, and while supporting more 'serious' forms of protests he understand the necessity of being a fucking goof and troll in impactful ways.

[aspoonofsugar]

Hi beautiful, I love reading your thoughts and wanted to take the opportunity to ask you a few questions.

What do you think about some of Cait’s comments and behaviors? These are the following:

Do you think people are exaggerating by calling her a dictator and fascist? They even compare her to other dictators or real-life events, which seems exaggerated to me.

Regarding Cait’s comments, I’m referring to the following:

“I keep telling myself that you’re different, but you’re not.”

“What kind of animals.”

“I can see why it’s so easy for you to hate them

"it’s her blood in your veins.”

“You can show that not all of Zaun supports Jinx.”

“You’re one of the good ones.”

Also, there’s the fact that she hit Vi with the back of her rifle and on two other occasions as well (although one was at Vi’s request). This could be interpreted as a parallel to the time Vi hit Powder, though I’m not sure. On the other hand, it might have reminded Vi of the trauma she suffered at the hands of the enforcers, considering she was in prison where she was beaten and mistreated on several occasions.

However, do you think it shouldn’t be given so much importance and that it was just a moment where Cait was blinded by feelings of betrayal, anger, and disappointment? Maybe what hurt Vi the most wasn’t so much the hit but that Cait left her.

What do you think about how this event (Cait hitting Vi) was addressed? Do you think it wasn’t treated as it should have been, and maybe it would have been better to avoid it if it wasn’t going to have a significant impact? Why wasn’t it taken into account how this might have affected Vi, especially given her history of abuse by the enforcers? Wouldn’t it have been important to consider how this could have reminded her of everything she suffered, coming especially from Cait?

Finally, there’s the issue of gassing Zaun with the Gray and the implementation of martial law.

I would just like to know your opinion on these actions she took.

I also feel that they didn’t explore Vi’s internal struggles and traumas enough this season.

What do you think of Vi as a sister? Is she good or bad? Or has she just made poor decisions?

Do you think, in some way, however small, Vi and Jinx could have stayed together or fixed things?

Would Vi always choose Jinx?

Despite the damage Vi and Jinx have done and the mistakes they’ve made, do they still love each other as strongly as when they were younger?

Sorry for having so many questions and rambling so much! 😊

have enough of all those Caitlyn's haters. People want more complex female character but they can't even properly handled Caitlyn fuck*ng Kiramman it make me laugh. I mean seriously why can't people understand complexity ?

Saying Cait has zero importance in Vi’s life is just so wrong. Cait is the one who FREE Vi . If it wasn’t for Cait Vi would have spend her whole life in prison ! + she saves Vi a lot in season 1 too. Cait always goes to great length in order to support Vi and to protect her. That’s why when you said « Cait is basically telling Vi she loves her no matter what » it couldn't be more true. But some time I wonder if Vi would have done the same for her, if she would have also show that she loves Cait no matter what and I have doubts about it

Do you think Caitlyn has given up her family's power and influence since she gave up her council seat, and thus her inheritance, to Sevika? Do you think she still has power in Piltover, politically?

What do you think would have happen if Jinx didn’t lock Vi in her cell when Vi freed her ? Do you think would go after Jinx and disappear with her ? Do you think she would have came back to fight Ambessa army or not ? i love your analysis btw

Hi ! I don't think I've saw you talk about this in Arcane so : I am personally quite bitter about the Ekko/Jinx relationship that was brought to episode 7 of season 2 because I find that it was a deep love relationship, really beautiful, that was not sufficiently exploited, given that the story ends with Jinx committing suicide despite the beginning of the episode being initiated by Ekko preventing her from doing so by telling her that it is always possible to rebuild your life. What's the point of developing such a romance if it's just to make a team up during the final climax and nothing more? Do you agree with the idea that it could have been more pleasant and even logical with regard to the story that Vi leaves with Caitlyn and Jinx with Ekko to develop something, knowing sisters were destined to make their lives each on their own or do you think that it would have been too "soft" for Arcane?

Hi!

I don't know if this is one anon or different anons, but the topic is the same, so :''')

I personally think I have said most of what I had to say about Cait and Vi's relationship here and here and about Jinx and Vi here.

In any case, here come some quick answers.

CAIT

Cait's behavior in act 1 is meant to be read as a spiral she goes through, where she gets more ruthless and closer to an extreme ideology. So, some choices they were made, specifically the ones in regards to her bias against Zaunites are meant as a political commentary.

The problem is that, as I have written in the linked asks, the political commentary and plot-lines are basically dropped towards the end and Cait's arc loses its political implication and is reduced to its most personal conflitct.

Basically:

It starts as the story of a girl grieving, which gives in to hate + a person of a privileged class misusing her power >>>> It ends as just the story of the girl overcoming her grief and hate

Which is also why I don't have the answer to the ask about Cait giving up her political power. In general, I think that she simply went back to being "just" the head of the enforcers. That was her title, before Ambessa manipulated her into becoming a political leader (and let's be real, she never was an effective one; she was just Ambessa's puppet for most of the time - this is understandable btw, as she is very young, inexperienced and not really interested in politics to begin with). I think she kept her family's richness and is still influential in Piltover since she leads the enforcers and is a Kirimmann. However, she isn't a political leader.

CAIT AND VI

Cait hitting Vi with the rifle in the same spot, where she healed her last season is meant to explore how love both heals and hurts. It also shows how far away from her better self Cait is in that moment. She is blinded by hate and rage, after all. The whole scene was probably also meant to call back to the last episode of season 1 act 1.

As I have explained in another post:

Act 1 season 1 focuses on Vi and Jinx's bond and it ends with their fight and separation

Act 1 season 2 focuses on Cait and Vi's bond and it ends with their fight and separation

As for who Vi would choose between Jinx and Cait... the whole point is that she doesn't have to choose (or it should have been really). They are both two sides of her and she is incomplete without either Jinx or Cait. Hence why thematically Jinx and Cait's reconciliation is important. It is a metaphor for Vi coming to accept herself as a whole. In general, I don't know where it comes the impression Vi will always choose Jinx tbh.

She chooses Vi several times, like the whole first act is Vi trying to choose Cait, which backfires because she can't choose. Then Vi also chooses to stay with Cait and fight instead of running after Jinx in the finale. Speaking of which, if Jinx had not locked up Vi into the jail, the implication would be that Vi and Jinx would have stayed to fight against Ambessa together with Cait. This was Vi's plan and request to Jinx, after all. Even if Jinx just left and told Vi she had no intention of fighting anymore, without trapping Vi... I still think Vi would have stayed back to fight... happy her little sister would have been safe tbh.

JINX AND VI

Yes, they still clearly love each other. It was made very clear in the finale. And I think they did fix things within the series... which makes the whole ending even more nonsensical to me.

In general, I think Vi is a good sister, but flawed, like all kids who are forced to be parental substitutes to other children. Vi is not Powder's mother, but she has to act like one, which ends up in a very complicated relationship. A bond which grows more and more complicated because of both Vi and Jinx's flaws.

JINX AND EKKO

I agree with you. Jinx's "fake death" is a disservice also to Ekko's character. It has him apparently fail in a key objective of his arc. Moreover, Jinx just leaving without a word to him is selfish imo.

In any case, I also wonder if they couldn't have the ship become canon because they are planning some other spinoff with Jinx, where she ends up in another ship (I think there are many popular ships with her). We'll have to wait and see, I guess.

Thank you for the asks!

[wcrriorhearts]

Thoughts about the episode under the cut, click with caution <3

Alicent is really not having a good time in life rn xD I almost feel sorry, because she truly has no one left on her side. Her brother barely knows her, she doesn't know her own youngest son, the middle child is a psychopath, the oldest is s'mores. Helaena tolerates her at best xD poor woman

still, also Alicent once again demonstrating how poorly she knows her own children by dragging poor Helaena out when she knows that Helaena doesn't like strangers, or crowd and that her last experience in the city was abysmal

Helaena my sweet baby girl, you'll probably never leave the Keep again after that. I feel so bad for her. She just wants to play with her crickets

Rhaenyra's political scheming was top notch this episode, love the gossip mongering and the ways she is turning the smallfolk. Also love that the one who fucks Aemond is the one spreading rumors about the Greens xD

Addam claimed Seasmoke ( or rather the other way around ) and I am still entirely indifferent about the bastards

liked the way the Sheepstealer storyline was hinted at

Did we need hallus of Viserys? No. Was I thrilled to see Paddy and get a glimpse of Aemma again? Yes. Aside from that, the Harrenhal storyline is getting dull

what am I supposed to say about the ending? I hated it and I will ignore it on my blog for various reasons. Emma and the actress of Mysaria wanted the scene and got it, but I think it was absolutely idiotic. Loved the hug and the trauma dumping but 1. to me the kiss was mainly Rhaenyra seeking some sort of connection to someone who is currently the only loyal person believing in her, nothing else and 2. it really rubbed me the wrong way because of the timing. Mysaria made herself vulnerable by telling Rhaenyra about how she was sexually exploited from basically everyone in her life and treated like an object and the second she admits she thinks Rhaenyra is worth her trust, Rhaenyra does something with a sexual connotation, which to me felt like objectifying Mysaria in a way again to satisfy her own needs. And that is just gross to me, so I will not acknowledge that in my portrayal, I'm sorry. Don't mind if people do, but it's a no go for me personally.

[mattydemise]

I've got more tabs open in my browser than I'll ever watch or read. I cannot close them as I don't want to miss out on learning something interesting, or finding some new perspective. This thirst for knowledge is ceaseless, and short of blunt force trauma, it will remain.

My workout today was necessary and violent. I know this because I'm sore and it's after midnight. I threw thousands of punches, rhythmically, in succession, over and over. I feel it in my shoulders and through my upper traps and back. That delayed soreness is proof of how necessary, how needed, it was. Tomorrow I'll shoot for another hour and see how much punishment the heavy bag can take. I should probably rest my wrists. I need better tape or some decent glove liners. Gotta protect my hands better.

Sometimes I feel my tether to necessary social conventions on the verge of snapping. It's sort of like an intrusive thought. I have this needling little need to get away from the world, it pokes and prods me like a tongue pokes and prods a loose tooth, sequestered away to some dim, dark forest, or a lush, green field, somewhere I can find peace and start again. I'm getting too negative about things, and although the world is in the worst state it's ever been in (while we've occupied the planet), I still feel it to be utterly necessary to embrace it, and then do something about it. I hate our exploitation of the animal kingdom and I despise what we've done to the beauty that surrounds us, and very soon it'll be past-tense, once surrounded us. I don't care about your politics, I just want people to stop raping the world. She was here first and we wouldn't be here without her. Where's the fucking gratitude? Where's that sense of innocent wonder of all the beauty around us? Because no one seems to fucking care anymore.

[neverchecking]

Something I love about this is that when Tia gets mad, she gets Polite. Like Unfailingly polite. Like Unflinchingly Polite. Like "My deepest apologies for misinterpreting your words but..." Polite.

But the politeness has levels. If she's Polite but still holding her tea, she's very annoyed but willing to hear you out.

If she's handed Sweetpea her tea, you fucked up.

If she hands anyone else but Sweetpea her tea, make your last Will and Testament because Sweetpea will not be able to hold her back for long.

So the first time Sage has his efforts dismissed or maybe even they're in Hateno and Tia asks the mayor's wife why she's cleaning Link's house only to be corrected, Tia starts getting Polite.

Then she hears about this Sheikah Champion and the opinion on the rest of the Champions and she starts getting very Polite.

She starts pointing out flaws in the system, the misinformation passed on, criticisms, how Hylians could have done better, how Zelda could've done better, how the champions faced enemies literally designed to exploit their flaws, how Link had done so much for them and gosh isn't it just rude of some people not to give others the recognition they rightly deserve.

Politely, of course.

(Of course, since the Sheikah know everything, I feel like they would be the ones behind the antagonism towards the Champions. Because how did Zelda 'Heir to a Throne of Nothing' become the central figure? Like you'd think there would be at least a little sentiment of 'Zelda's fault for not doing anything earlier' despite holding back the Calamity. So who do they redirect the blame to? Who do they come to eventually blame as well? The dead can't defend themselves after all.)

(I also feel that the other races blamed the Hylians rather than their Champions and having the Hylians blame their champion fuels friction between the races, even if the only thing they agree on is some form of gratitude towards Zelda.)

Meanwhile, Tia's Sheikah aren't as informed as Aaliyah's but have also since inherited Tia's 'Wtf Hylia. Kids? Really?!' mentality and so are horrified by their counterparts.

Aaliyah's just going "yeah and then they *insert childhood trauma here*" all while several Sheikah are having a Crisis™ and others are yelling about appropriate child-raising Methods. (Someone, maybe Koko or Cottla sees Aaliyah's back and just bursts into tears because How Could They Do That to You? Any explanation just makes them cry harder and poor Sweetpea is once again running damage control.)

(Also wrote a thing that was too big for the ask box. I tagged you :D)

OMG I love characters that get polite when angry. Like, hell hath no fury like a nice person scorned ( Ik the original saying is woman which also works here).

And her giving her tea to anyone but Sweetpea because he has to hold her back is so funny to me. Like the second its handed to Revali or something, he's jumping in to try and hold her back. Key word being try.

We're back ON THE HATENO HOME BIT YES-

I imagine the deal with the house, in this switch world, is that it originally was Link's, and by extension Aaliyah's, before Natura was freed from Ganon the first time. And what started as,' hey maybe she can stay for a few weeks while setting up settlements again?', quickly became 'Did we just get kicked from our own house?'. Like before either knew it, Natura was hanging things up, bringing in furniture neither liked, took things down that didn't suit her tastes. Things like that. And just when they were going to lay down a hard boundary, the Upheaval happened.

Which is probably where they ran into Hudson and helped him out with Mattison. When he and his wife offered them a piece of land, they took it. It was a great place to start their own life, again, this time far away from that so called Princess and her influence. She could have the Hateno house for all they cared. They had this one. They built this one with their bare hands. It's where their family will be created, will grow and where the two will spend their years until there are no more.

So when faced with the old house, Sage probably has very little care for it. Until he hears Tia go off about this place. He's standing there like O-O the whole time. He could give a rat's ass about his reputation but hearing her defend his Aaliyah's reputation so whole heartedly? He'll hear her out.

(With the Sheikah thing, they for sure are the root of at least some antagonism. They can't have any doubt in the crown and with the Calamity being as unpredictable as it was, they needed a scapegoat. Hence the Champions. The Sheikah Champion especially, in my world, was crafted as the perfect foil for the princess. If they won, Zelda would get the praise and the belief that she was a strong leader. If they lost, it would all fall back onto the Sheikah Champion, who should've seen this coming. Who should've done her duty. Who should've beaten all odds anyway and won nonetheless. Who let the princess struggle for a hundred years while she healed. Who was presumed dead, along with the other champions, and couldn't defend herself until it was far too late.)

(There is also definitely friction between races. I'm sure with the Sages, they come to tolerate, maybe even befriend Link and Aaliyah, but when it comes to the other tribes there is no love lost there. I think it's mostly through mutually beneficial relationships. Like the Rito probably are the highest produces of arrows, hence why the people sent food their way when they froze over. Not through genuine care, but because they needed their wares.)

Aaliyah's Sheikah are drastically different from Tia's and it would be such whiplash for the poor girl when she realizes they aren't there to hurt her. And when she explains that 'Yeah, I was a child soldier groomed to be a sacrifice isn't that cool?' she's a little confused by the horrified expressions on their faces. Was this...not what they wanted?

See, the Koko and Cottla is Aaliyah's world? They love her. She loves them. Her and Sage are their pseudo big siblings. But they're aware of how outcasted the Champion is from her people. How their father doesn't really want them near the two, but can't say anything because of the relationship already forged.

So when Tia's Koko and Cottle just burst into tears? She's panicking because WHAT DOES SHE DO? Sweetpea is probably tryna separate them before all of them start crying.

(I saw it, I loved it so much i was literally beaming the whole time I read it)

[winterkittenreads]

Review: Daughter of No Worlds by Carissa Broadbent

Audience: Older teens and up

Stars: 4/5

Fav quote: “The way I look at it,” he said, very solemnly, so quietly that his words slipped into the air like steam, “you didn’t forget what you were. I think you remembered. And I hope no one ever again has the fucking audacity to tell you otherwise.”

dear radish,

This was a solid read! I think the easiest way to go about this review may be to address a few of the “drawbacks” I noticed pointed out in other reviews I’d read before picking up this book.

1. "I wish there was more of an info-dump toward the start of the book to flesh the world out more.”

Valid comment! However, over the years, my attention span has shortened, and I’ve found myself often lacking the patience to get through the more dense world-building description that many fantasy novels offer. DoNW gave me enough information to understand what was happening, while keeping me hooked with the exploits and inner world of our female lead Tisaanah. Does the magic system come anywhere near being as intricately fleshed out and presented as that of Avatar: The Last Airbender? Naur. But I am satisfied for what it is. And I felt like the descriptions that we did get were creative and cool.

2. “The pacing is strange. There are places that lag which makes it feel like the overall stakes are reduced.”

Pacing felt fine to me! It felt like the first season of a shonen anime, where the main protagonist needs to take time to build up her skills and strength first, before facing off various big-bads. And the former is exactly what Tisaanah did, with single-minded, unstoppable determination. I was impressed! I want 1/10 of that drive for myself. 

3. “Once the character Rashaye is introduced, it becomes difficult to distinguish if it’s Tisaanah, Rashaye, or Max (male lead) speaking.”

I also didn’t find this to be an issue. Rashaye, by the way, is a character introduced later in the book who speaks directly in Tisaanah's mind. Here’s my quick guide to distinguishing who’s speaking. 

{Everything in italicized brackets is Rashaye.}  Italics usually means Tisaanah is reliving one of Rashaye’s/Max’s memories as if she were them. Regular, unitalicized font is Tisaanah mind-speaking, except for the times when it’s partially Tisaanah, partially Rashaye starting to take control. 

It became intuitive to distinguish early on. I actually liked that there was both separation and a blending in these sections. The mind + identity is a tricky thing to define and as Guru Pathik said: “The greatest illusion of this world is the illusion of separation. Things you think are separate and different are actually one and the same.” I didn’t mind seeing these ideas represented physically on the page. 

Other thoughts:

For fans of political intrigue, there’s a little bit in DoNW. The epilogue seems to promise more of that in the upcoming installments.

This book had some of the most genuinely sweet yet powerful lines I’ve read in awhile! See fav quote for reference. 

Felt to me that trauma was addressed well in this book. Good that it was depicted as an ongoing battle. 

Take a closer look at the book’s cover art after you finish reading the book! I did, and it’s so rewarding! And tragic. And rewarding! 

I will continue reading this series 🎉 

Book blurb: 

A former slave fighting for justice. A reclusive warrior who no longer believes it exists. And a dark magic that will entangle their fates.

Ripped from a forgotten homeland as a child, Tisaanah learned how to survive with nothing but a sharp wit and a touch of magic. But the night she tries to buy her freedom, she barely escapes with her life.

Desperate to save the best friend she left behind, Tisaanah journeys to the Orders, the most powerful organizations of magic Wielders in the world. But to join their ranks, she must complete an apprenticeship with Maxantarius Farlione, a handsome and reclusive fire wielder who despises the Orders.

The Orders’ intentions are cryptic, and Tisaanah must prove herself under the threat of looming war. But even more dangerous are her growing feelings for Maxantarius. The bloody past he wants to forget may be the key to her future… or the downfall of them both.

But Tisaanah will stop at nothing to save those she abandoned. Even if it means gambling in the Orders’ deadly games. Even if it means sacrificing her heart.

Even if it means wielding death itself.

Fans of epic romantic fantasy like Sarah J. Maas and Raven Kennedy will devour this tale of dark magic, passionate romance, vengeance, and redemption.

[gu887yihjjjbjoku]

^ I tried telling her not to contact me further. I attempted to say she had hurt me badly and tried to repeat the things awful things she said about me, and got hit with a "I never said that" "I said you're BEAUTIFUL, SMART, INTELLIGENT, don't you remember Ana? You're scaring me. You're a SCARY PERSON, Ana." and suggesting medication and hospitalization.

and these deranged messages afterwards.

A lot of conversations have gone with her saying "I never said that, YOU DID" or "You need INTENSIVE HOSPITALIZATION TO MANAGE YOUR BREAKS FROM REALITY" and "You're IMAGINING THINGS" followed by a string of insults.

I don't even know how she got the impression I was trying to pull her back in when I had explicitly tried ending things with her.

I finally gave up and downloaded audio recording software in case she tried calling me again.

Our final phone call is the only one I was able to record. After she sent the messages above, she called me again.

Here is the phone call.

She made me bawl my eyes out when she was screaming at me during our final calls, which is the "disgruntled state" she's referring to.

The "severe symptoms of complex trauma" I spoke about during that call were what she kept calling 'my breaks from reality'. She had made me apologize to her for telling her she was making me uncomfortable and for 'hurting' her with my 'delusions' about her.

I sounded really upbeat in this recording but only because she got weird and predatory when I was crying. In the past when I had broken down over the phone, she had tried inviting me over to sleep at her house and "enjoy her company". I didn't mean a word I fucking said to her about being a good therapist, I knew she was just fishing for compliments and I wanted her off my back. I wish I recorded the other conversations but I didn't think to, because, why the fuck would I have thought it was necessary to keep my guard up around a fucking therapist Wendy was close friends with and who was Jeffrey Young's protege?

After screaming at me that she regretted working with me, that I was "deeply disturbed, dangerous individual" for politely informing her how uncomfortable she had made me and "was imagining her saying things she never said" and that I was trying to "latch onto her a pull her back in" when I tried telling her how badly she hurt me, she offered to keep talking to me for free and tried re-inviting me back to her practice. Weirdo.

She tried following up later.

Still can't help but note how her last message to me was a little guilt trip , and not any expression for my concern or well being.

She's done this before and she's going to keep doing it.

Probably the most infuriating thing is that I accidentally introduced her to a population of people she could exploit. After I emailed her, she lifted the wording from my email ("I am a member of the LGBT community") to add it to her schema therapy bio.

When I called to ask her about her availability, she encouraged me to look her up.

She added the bit about working with culturally marginalized communities when she found out about my family's racial background.

She proceeded to be creepy, fetishistic and openly racist towards my family. Sorry to whatever dyke who survived paternal abuse is gonna be taken advantage of by her.

Don't tell Wendy or anyone else about this shit, I cannot emphasize enough that she's an predatory opportunist and the absolute last thing I want is to be reinvolved with her in any capacity. I'm someone who misused illegal drugs , definitely has several personality disorders, and a extensive history of misconduct. I will absolutely not humiliate myself by coming forward when I am the easiest person imaginable to discredit. I refuse to put myself in harm's way and don't have the emotional bandwidth to deal with it. Keep this between us.

here's some stuff with seraphina if you want to look at it. it's less than 1% of the shit but whatever.

[michyeosseo]

#KDRAMAWOMENSWEEK 2018 | HerToo « Lee Mi Sook »

You’re... finished.

[transhawks]

as a fandom, I hope in 2023 my fellow villain stans (and those of us who identify as anarchists or socialists/communists and still try to find something ideologically worthy in this copaganda) realize that the League of Villains are not revolutionaries or antifa or any of the brave people standing up to fascism, and are incredibly traumatized people mostly on suicide missions led by a megalomaniacal man whose political views are best described as fascist. It's just not happening, y'all.

Spinner's embracing of Tomura led to his depersonalization and dehumanization. Twice's blood is being used in the worst way possible; his ultimate fear of being a clone while the original is dead is now realized and utilized. Dabi's grasping at anything to hurt his father while burning himself to death since he can't beat Shouto and because he's realized that people will use any excuse to not care about abuse victims, and he gave them the biggest one by trying to destroy society. Toga has given up on trying to make the world love her and discarded her need for it. Compress entrusted a society where the rich can't exploit the poor to Tomura, but actually managed to entrust it to a man whose plan involves tanking local economies so he can control them. They aligned with an ancapitalist-crypto-fascist army that preaches eugenics to achieve so much of their goals.

Tomura spent months trying to show he was his own person outside of All For One only to end up possessed. All For One wasn't kidding when he said it was all for him.

This is not a good end for them. This is not any shape or way or form of good. They're not going to come back from this sort of thing alive unless the heroes assigned to them save them.

Yeah, this is pessimistic, but someone really needs to wake y'all up. wake the fuck up. The League aren't happy. And they haven't managed to be happy. Tomura never wanted to be happy, either, even if he respected the wishes of his allies. He says it over and over because his trauma made him a depressed nihilist who justifies his lack of will to exist over and over again.

It's just so fucking frustrating, and I know I played a role in this for years, this beating of the drum of how much Hero Society is shit. it is shit, but the League aren't offering solutions. They're too hurt and traumatized to and some of you should really read upon on trauma-based politics and its short-comings.

Please, in 2023, get your head out your asses.

Boku no Hero Academia is a story with liberal values and ideals about reforming the status quo, not breaking it. You are not going to find far-left of center ideas actively pushed in this manga even if they are entertained, because in the end, the story will not have the League "win".

The ending to BNHA will not be revolutionary but reform, which means the saving of the villains will fall down to hero kids. You will not get amazing parables about how the villains should save themselves in this story because that's not what this story wants to tell. Please be realistic, for fuck's sake.

I'm so tired of reading takes that hinge on the idea that the League is a tight-knit family of antifascists and antistatists who love each other and will destroy the hegemonic systems around them. No, that's not what's happening. I'd fucking love if it did, but that's not Boku no Hero. Learn to read.

I love you all, but I truly think you would have happier times in fandoms if you started expecting less and less and realizing that the majority of the media produced in our zeitgeist is far from perfect and will also not cater to leftist ideals. Certainly not something published in Shounen Jump.

[pegazzz-the-good-peasant]

The truth about their speach is amazing. Its what I try to tell people around me. Some people are saying to other parents your kids is queer/gay/trans because you have done wrong things to raise them. When you ask them about their own child they vanish in the air, a good matchist men who is always angry about his surrounding, never happy, cheat on his wife, put himself in risky situation, or even do drugs bcz of depression or post traumatic childhood bcz of their parents. They are not happy, thay apply the same education to their child and the circle go around every generation. But one time on of them gonna be a strong lbtq+ or a good ally and stop mistreatment on their child. So that kind of human "parents" are puting stress, trauma, depression, sadness, angryness and such other horrible things, not only for their child but for more generation. It's have to be one of the child that have to stand up and stop a whole traumatic heritage. So yes they dont love their child bcz when you love people (and people love you), you found the strength to get up against. So being lgbtq+ is to be strong to be ourselves, to be sometimes proud, to be far more wise than some queerphobic, it's not bcz we have bad parents or bcz we have lovely parents (ofc it's so much better bcz you dont gonna experience traumatic family childhood and gonna have support), it's just being free, we are searching for our liberty and even for other people who are not lgbtq+. Then they tell us that social media is nothing but hate, no for the lgbtq+ community we give love and strenght to all of us, so we blossom at ourselves. Ofc social media have dark side. They call us woke like an insult, but our wish is to be free, kind, tolerant, not working for fucking morron that exploit us. So yes we wake up from your old pov, yes we are on the same way of our lgbtq+ ancestor, yes we need lgbtq+ community bcz it's not just about gay people it's about gender identity, trans people, intersex people, bi people, aro people and all the other +. So no we do not harm anyone with pride flag and love speech. The only thing we harm is sexist billionaires. It's so much more it's women right, social right, health of the earth. You know why ? Bcz we are all together with all ethny, colors, age, gender, hair, height,vegan,flexi,romantic or sexual attraction, everyone is rising the pride flag for the name of love and freedom. We are not harmful we are being savior of your kids our kids, the futur of the planet. So no we never gonna stop to be proud just bcz of mocking smile and hatespeech. We gonna raise, we gonna be proud bcz it's us who are strong we choose the most hard way. We are not weak, we are far more strong than queerphobic sexist person. Some of us leave everything back to get freedom, even have issue with money. Not many of your random cis homophobic person have that bravery. So yes tell to shut up to your child just bcz she see/feel/is herself as a girl even she has been assigned at birth boy, is so stupid. No pride to be that stupid and weak. It's a child she is not a danger for the peace of the world. She is being herself... and that kind of men dont stand for their child, too afraid to be against the majority. Dont even protect her bcz of what ? For the name of the pride of patry and country, sexist queerphobic neighboor,friends or even politic, who dont fucking care about you/them, they just want to be free from their shitty life and frustrating life, so they spread hate around them. They are too weak to spread love. So yes you dont love your child, you prefer your reputation, you are weak, not even able to give love for your own child, bcz of stupid abstract tought, bcz of your hipothetic reputation that doesnt even exist, bcz you are not the center of the world. So yes you dont love your kid and you are a bad parents.

RIGTHS OF LGBTQIA+ ARE FOR ALL HUMANS !

WE ARE PROUD AND STRONG, LOVE FOR EVRYONE !

[lokisprettygirl]

Lose me to Love you (Loki x Female Reader) (AU) (18+)

Chapter 1

Summary: You are a struggling actress, Loki Laufeyson is your agent but your relationship has never been strictly professional with him. You want him but he won't give you what you need, bound by a past and the promises he have to keep he keeps you trapped into a toxic cycle of seduction and denial, but would he allow himself to let his guards down once your past comes back to haunt you both again?

Warning: Ahoy, my toxic but sexy loki is back with a bang, 18+, will contain smut in future chapters, mention of past trauma, slight daddy kink (come on its me), toxic situationship

"Arch your back babe, that's it, you look fucking sexy'" you followed the command and heard the flash going again. Truth to be told you felt exposed, you were shooting for a small time magazine cover, wearing a skimpy little bikini and your photographer Seth couldn't stop giving you instructions.

"We need better shots, Fix her makeup" you took a deep breath as you got a break of five minutes. Your eyes fell upon Loki, he was on a call with someone, the gray t-shirt he had on today made him look super scrumptious. But he was like a forbidden fruit that you never got to consume. He won't let you. He was mean like that.

"Why do I keep doing this to myself" you mumbled under your breath so the woman fixing your makeup looked at you.

"You said something?" Her name was Samantha, you had met her just this morning but you could tell she was into him, of course she was, you have never met a woman in the past four years who wasn't at least a tiny bit attracted to the main object of your fascination.

"Nopeeee" you smiled at her politely, after she fixed your makeup, the flashes started again, the photographer made you sit on your knees but something about the pose didn't click with him so he walked towards you and lowered the straps of your bra down that's when your angry young man, Loki intervened.

"What are you doing, we talked about this before" He asked Seth making you bite on your lower lips, he looked so hot whenever he was angry. Especially whenever he was angry because of you or for you. You knew he was just trying to protect you from the exploitation but you always felt that there was more to it or maybe it was just the wishful thinking. It didn't really matter.

"What happened man?" Seth asked him nonchalantly and Loki's jaw clenched.

"She's not going to get bloody naked for your camera you hear me?" He squatted down to your level and pulled the straps up, you smirked as you looked at him, it was bad enough that you were scantily clad in that awful bikini, he didn't want these people to have your nipples on display for the whole world too.

"Don't fuck this up, we need the money remember" you whispered to him in a way that always made his blood boil and rush to his cock at the same time, he glared at you intently.

"Shut up baby and get back to posing, yeah? This is what you wanted right?" He was angry, so angry. He never called you baby unless he was either furious or too emotional, you didn't get to see the latter side more often or ever really. The acting business didn't really come easy, you were giving auditions, you got a few commercials here and there but the meatier roles sometimes came with a huge price and as long as you had him as your agent you knew he'd never allow you to sell your soul like that.

"Okay dadddy dearest" you puckered your lips to give him an air kiss, that only pissed him off further.

The relationship you two shared wasn't exactly normal, you had a history together, he wasn't your boyfriend but you two lived together, he took care of you and fulfilled all your needs. All except the one. He won't fuck you, he had vowed to never sleep with you, that would complicate things and he had promised your mother to never let you get out of his sight.

The interaction you just had with him only made you want to act out more so you rebelled, and the moment you saw the makeup lady Samantha whispering into his ears and him smiling at whatever she said to him, you only got more upset. He was so toxic but you loved the burn he gave you, this game that he played so well kept you hooked, there were times where you two had gotten so close to fucking each other's brains out but he controlled himself, he'd find a distraction and he'd ignore your existence. That's how he dealt with you and you felt jealous, so jealous of the women he'd bed every now and then but at the end you knew it was you he'd come home to, you two lived together and he would never ever leave you.

"Are you two together?" Samantha asked him so he chuckled

"Not at all darling, she's a responsibility"

"I know about her..I mean I read about it when it happened" he looked at her curiously as she hinted towards your past. He wished she would have stopped talking right then but she was nosier like everyone else "You got out of that awful place and got away..what brought you back to her?" His jaw clenched as she questioned him.

"Honestly I don't see how it's any of your business?" he told her sharply, his voice had a hint of annoyance. He wasn't trying to be rude but he hated it when people acted as if they knew you two or what you have been through, only he did, he knew you since you were six and the past that bound you two together had shaped him into the man that he was today, you were his top priority even though he didn't treat you like one at times.

The moment he returned into your life , you had just turned 18 and officially gotten out of the orphanage. He knew you were taken by him, and he didn't really hate the attention but he didn't want to complicate this relationship, he made a promise to your mother and he wouldn't let anything come between it, especially not the so called vapid emotions like love.

Besides he was older than you, he was ten years older than you so he treated you like a child instead. You were 22 now and It was hard at times for him to ignore you, in last four years you had driven him crazy with your constant puppy like tantrums, you didn't leave a chance to seduce him and he wasn't any different but he knew where to draw the line and when to deny you the treat you so badly craved from him, and whenever he would put you back to your place you'd act out, like you were doing right now. Flirting and giving eyes to that photographer, acting unnecessarily sensuous than you needed to for this crappy photoshoot.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you"

He looked at the woman practically salivating over him so he stopped thinking about you and decided to drive his attention towards her instead.

As soon as the last shot was taken he walked towards you and draped his jacket around your half naked body then he grabbed your chin to make you look at him.

"Are you done being a brat hmm?"

"I did nothing" you smirked at him and you could see him biting his cheek with his teeth. You loved riling him up this way. "Get dressed up and come back in five alright?" He told you strictly so you nodded, he took Samantha and you out for dinner then he took you both home, he was louder than usual as he fucked her, he was trying to show off that he wasn't available and maybe punish you for the tantrum during the photoshoot. You really wanted to barge into his room and ask him to shut up but you put the headphones in and blared the music instead to drown the sounds of his moans.

After an hour or so you heard his bedroom door closing with a force so you stepped out of the room, you found a furious looking Samantha storming out of the apartment as quickly as she could, that made you smile. You stepped inside his room and he wasn't there, he was in the shower, you heard the water running, the room smelled of sex so you picked up his cologne and sprinkled it all around, then you changed his bedsheet, you even changed the pillow covers, you didn't want any imprints of that woman left behind in his room. Alas, the big blue hickey she left on his chest wasn't something you could have changed or fixed

"What do you need y/n?" He asked you as you gawked at his towel clad dripping form shamelessly, the long hair he had differentiated him from the crowd, you were always into his boyish looks when you were a kid, he was your first ever crush, but when you saw him years later he had transformed into the sexiest man you could have ever dreamed of. You could count every little muscle of his shredded physique.

"Mmm how was the sex with Samantha?" you asked him as you sat down on his bed, the tank top and the shortest shorts you had on was another attempt to entice him, he could read every little move you ever made to enchant him, it never really worked on him. Well, that was a pure lie actually, he knew that, it did work on him but he was good at deflecting the attention unlike you, you couldn't hide your attraction even if you tried.

"None of your business is it? Go to bed, you have an audition tomorrow" He removed the towel off his waist and you had to bite on your lips again to stop the loud gasping noise you were about to let out. On one hand he wanted you to stay away and on the other hand he did stuff like that, you had seen him naked a plenty of times because he was shameless like that, he knew he was chiseled perfectly and he never shyed away from showing it all off especially in front of you, you groaned internally as he pulled the boxers up his shapely legs, he didn't stop there, he put on a trouser as well, much to your disappointment.

"I want to sleep here dadddddy" he glared at you as you said that, you laid down on his bed and he shook his head, he remembered the first time you had called him that really well, it freaked him out but slowly he warmed up to the name, you were just trying to rile him up, you were nothing but a horny little brat at times.

"Suit yourself, I'll sleep in your room" you sat up quickly as he said that, your eyes teared up at the callousness, he wasn't having any of it today it seems.

When he saw your mopey little face he sighed. That was his very own kryptonite, he couldn't watch you like that but he didn't want to show you that your tears affected him in such a way, you'd use it to its full potential if you had any clue.

He towel dried his hair before he climbed into the bed next to you.

"I'm too tired to deal with your insolent behavior tonight " you were still in the sitting position so he gripped your hair in his fist making you moan in response then he pulled you down slowly, placing your head on his strong biceps. Your eyes couldn't avoid the hickeys she had left behind so you trailed your fingers at the marks. He pulled the duvet over your bodies and you snuggled into him, getting as close as you could. Thank God he had allowed himself to take the edge off with Samantha or he'd be thinking about your bodies pressed against each other so intimately all night long.

You placed your head between the crook of his neck and inhaled deeply, his scent was a mixture of lemongrass combined with his own sweetness, that always comforted you but it also rushed the blood down to your nether region. This wasn't normal, you knew that, he knew that too, as the mature one in this living arrangement he should have stopped you from indulging with him in such a manner but he loved keeping you hooked like this.

He never claimed to be a good guy after all.

As long as you were clinging to him he knew he'd be able to keep you safe and protected, he can't do that from a distance or if you were to see some other man, he didn't trust them with you, you were too naive and impressionable so he kept you under his complete control. Emotionally, mentally, physically, he wanted you to stay obsessed with him so you'd never even think of leaving him, he wanted you to thirst for him but he never wanted to give into your desires either because once he did that he knew you'd lose whatever interest you had in him.

"No funny stuff you hear me?" He whispered in your ear so you hummed in response, your hold around his waist only got tighter. He felt your fingers caressing his skin.

"Okayy daddy I promise" you mumbled softly and it made him smile.

"Good girl, sleep now, bag this audition tomorrow and I'll reward you if you're good for me"

Now you had to ace it by hook or crook. You had to earn the reward. You didn't even care what the reward was, you just wanted to be his good girl.

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

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[fangirleaconmigo]

In Defense of Yennefer of Vengerberg

I noticed after S1 of TWN, that a lot of people didn't understand why Yen was angry and bitter after her transformation. She got what she wanted, right? She outmaneuvered Fringilla and got her appointment. And then the next we see her she is pissed and discontented.

Like, what is her problem? What more does she want? Everything? That's stupid. She's greedy. Overly ambitious. Malcontented. Whatever.

Part of it is that people are very uncomfortable with female anger and ambition to begin with. (You will never see ambitious used as an insult for a man) But part of it is that the show skipped all her time in court. We never saw how the kings and mages treated her at court after her appointment. So there were people who were legitimately puzzled. Last we saw her she was triumphant. What exactly happened between then and now?

Let me tell you why it worked for me, and why I didn't even notice that TWN never showed me what happened to her to make her disaffected and bitter.

Mages are the academic and political class. The sorceresses in the show are are political advisors straight out of Aretuza. I already know exactly how a woman (and a mixed race woman from humble beginnings) is treated in politics.

Not that long ago I was a baby political staffer fresh out of grad school (which I had to scrape and claw and hustle and work three jobs and take on six figures worth of debt to access) working for a member of Congress on Capitol Hill (I'm American).

So I didn't need TWN to tell me what happened to Yen. I know that she cared more, worked harder, and was twice as prepared. I know that she did this under far more challenging circumstances, having to worry about basic survival in a way no one else around her did.

I know that even though she understood how the policies and laws would affect regular people and poor people, and was therefore far more effective and valuable, she was dismissed, underestimated, told she should be so grateful that these magnanimous men (who, by the way are entitled to be there. Who Belong.) were charitable and progressive enough to let her in the door. And these men had no idea what the impact of their work would really feel like to the people they governed. But they decided that it made them more 'objective and rational' rather than what they were, which was 'out of touch' and fuckin amoral.

She worked every waking hour and was always the most competent, prepared, and most perceptive person in the room. And yet she was told that she was only there because the male politicians wanted to fuck her. And most infuriatingly, most devastatingly, that was sometimes true.

She was sexually harassed. She was exploited. She was asked intrusive personal questions about her trauma and her poverty, because, did they really hire her if they couldn't mine her trauma and parade her around for brownie points in front of their liberal friends?

And perhaps the most difficult thing was doing all of this while in constant combat with her internal voice. Yen has a lot of internalized shame for what she sees as her weaknesses, which is actually her abuse and trauma. So all the while she was fighting the people around her, she was also fighting herself. She was fighting the voice inside of her that told her maybe she didn't actually belong there and who the fuck did she think she was.

Yen gave up everything about who she was, changed everything about her person, because literally everyone around her said that this was how you 'rose above' your circumstances. This was how she would never feel powerless again. This is how she would become someone instead of a pitiful poor victim. They told her she would be respected. She would be seen as valuable. She would no longer struggle. She was young and without parental guidance and every adult in her life told her this was true. So she believed it.

She didn't just believe it. She clutched it to her heart. She chanted to it every night. It was her north star and her talisman and she stopped at nothing to achieve it. She played by the rules.

Women of color do that every fucking day. And when they get to the top, guess what? They find out it's a fucking trap.

They will never give you real power.

They will never give you real respect.

They will tokenize you. Patronize you.

They will demand you look conventionally feminine and attractive then use that as an excuse to diminish and sexually harass you.

That's real, folks. That's what it is. That's what women of color live every day in politics. ESPECIALLY women like Yen, who come from a poor or abusive background and are therefore more vulnerable.

So, while I think it is valid for a viewer to go...dude...they skipped her entire disaffection arc. What the fuck? (and granted TWN likes to skip all the character development parts). As an objective critique of the show writing, it is 100% valid.

However, personally, I didn't need to see any of it. I was with her. I was nodding along. I don't need you to tell me. I lived it.

If TWN had shown her happy and contented after she changed everything about herself to comply??? I would have fucking hated that. I would have called bullshit.

Because. It. Is. A. Trap.

You are never truly happy that way. You are never truly empowered that way. Not by buying into systems and institutions filled with powerful white men. I despise the 'she got a makeover or cured her disability and her life was perfect' narrative. That shit just ain't realistic.

She was left empty and used and had to go on a journey to find out what would fulfill her. It wasn't Geralt (the man who, I love him but let's be honest, demeaned and mocked her desires to be a mother and hid his wish from her...yes...book!Geralt would fuckin never but TWN Geralt did). It wasn't Istredd. His passions were not her passions. It wasn't running back to the brotherhood and swallowing all of her rage and discontent. (I love you Tissaia but no)

She shouted and sassed because she wasn't about to be vulnerable and honest with any of these people. The one person she was vulnerable and honest with told her her dreams were stupid and she only wanted to be a mom because of her raging ego. (Pls do not come into my notes defending Geralt. I love that man more than you do, AND I can acknowledge his flaws. I can multitask.)

The way she found herself was when she made the decision to defend those who were being overrun by imperialists and warmongers. When she stood with the people being snuffed out by these powerful warmongering institutions, when she actively opposed war and death and the abuse of power, that's when she started on the right path.

And yes, S2 she is still searching. She has incorrectly identified her magic as the thing that allowed her to be helpful and heroic and defend people. It was HER. Yes, without her magic she may not have been able to save so many. But she would still have mattered. She would have still made a difference.

And I think she is going to learn that. She is going to get there. But that's life. It's a journey. We're all works in progress. And that's what I love about Yen. She's always a work in progress. She's out there trying and struggling and fucking up and falling down. But the one thing she isn't doing is giving up.