#i have more complex thoughts but im not feeling all that well today so this is what you get on that. i have SO much to say about cinna.

[metanarrates]

I'm really interested in your takes on hunger games bc despite what this site says based on their memories of reading it 10 years ago in middle school I do think it's a little overhyped and there are political messages in the third book that are straight-up counterrevolutionary. and keep in mind it IS for 13 year olds and as an adult I personally would never reread it so if you've underwhelmed that may be one of the reasons why...I do look forward to hearing your thoughts on the final book if you get there tho! thanks for sharing your thoughts so far - in hindsight the narration WAS extremely cruel to haymitch for his trauma response. fwiw there are more compassionate depictions of addiction later but none that I think are...great

yeah I agree that me being underwhelmed is largely due to it being YA. it has goals and priorities that are not at all interesting to me given that i am a decade too old for it. I'm also not exactly sure how to handle it critically due to that - a lot of its political stuff makes no fucking sense but I don't know whether I'm expecting too much from a YA novel!

my other big critique, though, is I feel that it pulls its punches when it comes to its depiction of teenagers exploited by being objects of popular entertainment. again, I'm very aware that this is a novel For Children, but so far in the novel (just finished part 1,) there's just not as much discomfort as I feel there needs to be. katniss enjoys the food, she finds the outfits cinna has her wear pretty, and as much as she hates being trained to be a cute object of entertainment, there just is not a strong sense of her being dissected for the benefit of an audience. it's played quite straight that the audience likes her For Her. I want it to make my skin crawl and it doesn't! isn't the point supposed to be that it's scary and uncomfortable!

[worstgenerationloser]

,, Original sin. ''

Summary... Once a human woman turned into a vampire by Dracule Mihawk, your anger towards him turned you into a raging tyrant. With your reign abruptly ended by a stab in the back, you barely manage to crawl to the catacombs and into your coffin. You wake up remembering all, and you seek out sustenance... which, is blood.

Impending bite... Nico Robin.

Word count... 5.6k

Fic Masterlist... click here!

A/N: comments and reblogs are appreciated the very most! tell me which part was the best, or what you're looking forward to in the story! YOU MIGHT BE DISSAPOINTED ROBIN IS FIRST UP but me personally? im from scissor city.

One step after another, your feet guided you slowly throughout the halls in a calculated waltz. Living in a recently established castle surrounded by nothing but lake and the sea of bones of past victims, you came to realize the fog outdoors was normal, as were the bumbling acolytes dancing throughout the halls in a rush to wherever it is they go, stopping to bow politely for you.

Everything under the blood-soaked moon was yours. Eternal life, devout followers, an endless supply of blood in the nearby empire, and most important of all is the fact you wiped out that pesky family of vampire hunters. Once a newly deceased woman, you sobbed and wallowed in misery at the realization that even though you lived on, it was as one of the undead; Then the sorrow was replaced by the thrill of power. You must’ve gained a god complex, though at the time that wasn’t exactly terrible, all constantly failed to surprise you, and it kept your mind at ease knowing you were in no danger whatsoever.

Mistress of the dark, that you were, a cruel one you may have been, but you were unmatched by all. Once again, you were entirely superior. It was out of the goodness in your heart that you shared a glimpse of a long and luxurious life with those who were known as your acolytes and for that, they sent you offerings, they hunted your prey themselves because the poor things absolutely couldn’t handle a sad, short, pathetic human life. Ah, you seem to have reminisced quite a bit about yourself. No need for embarrassment, the peak of what was once a human is you after all, that does give you the right to brag. But you suppose you aren’t a human at this point in time, you are beyond what one’s fragile mind can understand about the unknown and the supernatural. 

“My beloved mistress, am I worthy of a speck of your time today?”  A formal and feminine voice spoke, you registered Ophelia as the woman choosing to converse with you. Time was of the essence in your day, for the night is never eternal, and you were making sure to reiterate those words to her as well.

“It is of the essence, so foolishly standing around awaiting one’s answer will be for naught. Speak, girl.” You spoke with a tone as commanding and biting as ever, the same used towards even the most noble of people, you condescend her entire being with a few words and only the choice to simply endure it was presented to her. It wasn't your fault she was so insignificant, despite being blessed enough to join your council of advisors.

Safe to say, it’s evident you had a very backwards way of thinking. It was as if you were the only true one in the world at the time, and that thought alone allowed you to think it right to do whatever to whomever. Maybe it was something hiding within you that prompted you to think in such a way… It had been so long, however, that you had nearly forgotten the fangs which had sunken into your neck, the cold hands that gripped your body, the burning sensation which coursed through your veins and stopped your beating human heart, the humanity slipping away while something more sinister took place. There was new blood in your veins— and it was his.

Those yellow eyes that never seemed to miss a single thing, like a hawk. The man who made you turn.

Dracule Mihawk.

Though your dead body is already cold as ice, you can’t help but feel a chill run throughout your body as you remember that man. Here you lie, tucked away in your coffin deep underground your castle, residual anger taking place in your mind and forcing you to awaken. All that is visible is the underside of the cushioned lid placed atop you, and though you feel weaker now than you were as a human all those years ago, you push it off, flinching at the noise of it clanging against the floor after many years of complete silence.

Slowly rising, it was as if you were learning how to walk again, your thighs shook while your knees wished to give out on you, and your arms were shaky while you tried your best to sit upwards. A primal hunger was present in your entire being, and the bats flying about certainly wouldn’t do, as you know, blood tastes best the larger and more sentient ones victim is.

“Ah, these statues must be a thousand years old at the very least! What a wonderful find.”

A voice echoes through the dusty walls and hallways which confined you, the clacking of shoes against the stone floors coming closer. You are weak, you need to eat something, and it looks like whoever this young woman is will have to do. Silencing your soft grunts, you dragged your bare feet against the floor, dust and dirt being kicked up and flung about into the air. Would you be able to pull off spontaneous feeding in a weakened state like so? Again, it’s not like you have a choice. She’s closer, you can hear her exasperated breathing.

“Everything’s in such perfect condition… What a find.” You hear the woman chuckle. Maybe you should make the first move.

“Hello? W–Who’s there?” Barely managing a stutter, your voice sounds a bit worried and panicked, just enough to convince anyone clueless and naive enough that it's genuine. Considering the way she was appraising your decorations, you’ve concluded quite a bit of time has passed, and she must have a knack for identifying things of old and exploring– either both or one or the other. The sounds of walking stills, before continuing, a bit more hesitant. A hum reverberates throughout the room, light approaching at the same pace and there she is. A raven-haired beauty, one with eyes of ocean blue and a long slender nose, paired with a silver dagger. Fuck. If you were to try and pounce on her, she has the upper hand, you really can’t do anything in such a state, so you only have one more card to play, innocent and lost.

“May I ask who you are, miss? It’s odd to encounter someone in century-old ruins.” Her eyes are narrowed, and she’s clearly suspicious of you. Her grip on the dagger is evidently growing tighter.

“I apologize, I’m from a rural area… Eh, I seem to have gotten lost exploring and… Well, it’s really embarrassing for me to admit, and I’ve been underground here for a bit.” Without rambling on and omitting too much, you seem to have put the woman’s mind at ease if just a bit. You take in the little information you gained– century old ruins are what she called your hidden chambers, normally you would have taken offense but you are a changed woman now. Does this count as a second re-awakening?

“You will be reawakened wholly…” The memory of that man’s words echo through your head, making you swallow harshly. It’s frightening all over again. Nope, absolutely no second re-awakening.

“I see… Do you also have an interest in archaeology and history? I came to consider the legend of the last vampire, oddly enough all history of such a person seems to have decayed, besides this castle… Someone covered it up, for sure, but I can’t seem to figure out why… Perhaps another vampire? An accomplice, but a vampire specifically working with another seems most likely. There were a few scriptures scattered and—” The woman keeps talking for a while, and it makes you even less interested in yourself, at one point you seem to tune it out. But, you watch as she hides her dagger away in its sheath, her hand still holding onto the handle.

She clears her throat, snapping you out of your trance.

“I’m Nico Robin, an archaeologist. You are?” Robin finally formally introduces herself, seeming a bit more friendly and under the impression that you actually listened to her theories and minute long rant. Actually, you managed to listen to about half of it, so all's well that ends well– this has yet to end though. One last look at the scattered bones across the dusted cobblestone floor and you speak up again, finally introducing yourself.

“Ah, that's quite a unique name. So, would you like some shoes?” For a moment you choke and sputter, looking down at your bare feet. You haven’t been embarrassed in centuries, and the feeling is entirely unwelcome. She’s probably super suspicious of you now, and if not then she’s really pitying you.

“Yes, please. My feet are sore from walking aimlessly.” You joke softly, laughing humorlessly while her face stays blank. After setting down her oil lamp, Robin takes off the backpack slung around one of her shoulders, rummaging around and pulling out a pair of black leather boots, placing them into your hands. You drop them to the floor, trying your best to clear your cold feet from dirt and grime, before haphazardly slipping them on. There's strings attached to them, and they are loose around your ankles, it seems like a stupid design and it makes you wonder what other useless inventions were made.

“Do you not know how to tie your laces, miss?” Laces? What on earth was she talking about? The boots were made of leather, and there wasn't even a single clipping of lace adorning them. Is this some modern day slang the young women use?

“Uh… I guess not. I am barefoot more often than not.” Your voice is a murmur, it isn't entirely a lie, but you are much more used to shoes without these… stringy contraptions strewn across their surface. Maybe you made yourself look suspicious by not knowing how to “tie your laces” but if this is fashion these days, maybe it's not so bad if you’re eternally slain by her.

“Allow me, then. You seem sickly, I think maybe I should show you the way out.”

She drops to her knees before you, it reminds you of when you received voluntary blood offerings… Blood. You will only get weaker from here on out if you don't feed soon, and this Robin woman seems to be a good candidate, all you need to do is win her over and earn her trust, disarm her and feed off of her… but she has shown you a bit of kindness, so it wouldn't do too much harm to loosen up a bit. But you can't allow yourself to rely on someone so much again, remembering Ophelia's actions was disheartening— you can't allow yourself to be fooled once more by somebody else, much less a pathetic excuse of a human as she was. And you can't let what happened with that man repeat. 

Maybe you should forget about Mihawk for a second considering that just mentioning his name to yourself alone makes you feel as if he's already watching you. A cold hand comes to accidentally touch near the bottom of your calf, and time seems to still for a second. Are you…? No, this just cannot be. It’s pathetic, but you seem to feel a bit tingly against the touch of another. Exactly how far has oneself fallen? From making people crumble from the scrape of your fangs against their veins, to crumbling against a cold and accidental touch. Embarrassment takes over once again, and your lungs start to withhold air from you in an attempt to take your mind off of it. Robin is still tying your “laces” , which you can easily assume are the strings attached to the pair of leather boots she has given you. The foolish observation from earlier is still fresh in your mind. How utterly embarrassing for someone of your caliber.

“I’ve finished tying them. Now, would you like some help getting out? You mentioned that you have been down under for quite some time. I know the way out, but we will have to go through the castle to get aboveground. I assume you’ve entered from the underground tunnels in the forest, but the moon has risen… best to steer clear of there. I’m sure you know why.”

It’s definitely not thrilling hearing someone explain to you how to get out of the catacombs you asked to be implemented under your own castle, but you know you should try not to arouse suspicions too early into your first meeting with a scholar— specifically this one. She came armed to a vampire's castle with a dagger of silver, a known weakness of your kind.

“The wolves.” You nod, trying to hide the scowl peeking onto your face. Werewolves, the scum of the earth. Though, you would argue that you hate Emperor Romanov from your time the most. It's hypocrisy at its finest coming from you, but you hate people who try to stand above all else and crumble whomever beneath their soles. Maybe Ophelia knocked some sense into you when she drove that fine elven blade of silver into your heart, or maybe you have always known you were a bit of a tyrant.

“Let's go, then.” Robin spoke, prompting you to join her, you can't help but notice the appeal in her smile, the way she struts about with utmost confidence, the dip in her back, the curve of her hips, the smirk on her lips— though, you, of course, would never ogle a woman in such a manner. It's just that it's been a while since you've been awake, and she's easy on the eyes, why on earth would you think like a man? She bends down to pick up the oil lamp she brought with her, and your eyes are still drawn to her.

It's simply your appetite talking, of course. You two head down throughout the dusty and spider infested halls, the clacking of both of your shoes is a tad bothersome.

“Miss Y/N. How did you come to know of this place?” Robin begins to question, her tone non-accusatory. She looks back at you with a curious look, in fact.

“I’ve always been fascinated by the supernatural…  And I get a thrill out of exploring. I scout out places occasionally, and I sometimes find small artifacts.”

Ah yes, building onto your small storyline once more, would this classify as roleplay? Softening your voice, you reach into your pocket— if you can begin to have her let her guard down by showing a bit of “proof” you are in fact an explorer, then it would likely make it easier to feed off of her. It wasn't like you could avoid her anyways, if she knew you were a vampire, she could do a lot worse than be horrified. You pull out an old stopwatch of yours, a century or two old, that makes it around two to three centuries old in total. Surely if this woman truly has an eye for antiques, she would appreciate such an item.

“I found this on my way in. It's certainly splendid.” You put on a smile, walking a bit faster to catch up, holding out the stopwatch in the palm of your hand. Robin pauses and gasps as her eyes widen, her hand comes to brush against yours, her manicured fingers are cold as she takes the watch from your hands.

Suspended in the air by its chain, the dim source of light gleams off of the metallic surface, and it makes you just a little uneasy looking at the watch. It’s like there is something buried deep inside your psyche that just refuses to come back despite the fact that you have impeccable memory, almost as if your body knows you aren’t ready. The watch was yours, but you can’t seem to recall who gave it to you… 

 “Does the air here seem a tad thick to you, as well? We should hurry. There’s no full moon, but dangers persist no matter what. The walls could cave in on us, and we would end up being nothing more than splatters of red.” 

Robin comments, placing the stopwatch back into your hand. She’s more odd than you initially thought, but individuality is part of being human. A chill same as before wraps itself over your spine and almost causes you to gasp aloud. You feel anxious, and for a second you swear you feel the same eyes boring into the back of your head.

“Of course.”

Exhaling , you glance behind you, gripping the watch as if it were your lifeline. You're frightened, so you walk side by side with Robin again.

“These boots are rather comfy, Miss Robin.” You clear your throat, making small talk. It does calm you a bit, maybe it's the paranoia from being alone all those years in a coffin. Why did you ever sleep in one anyways? 

“Aren't they? A friend lent them to me, she's quite the fashionista.” She chuckles, reaching the now well-worn staircase that leads to the hidden door which you entered many years ago. It’s bittersweet, seeing the stains of old blood and splints of bone while simultaneously taking in the castle which gave you comfort. Things are sure to have changed quite a bit, and in order to get your steady food source replenished, you would have to be in a position of power yet again. Such a thing wouldn't be too easily achievable, considering you underwent some sort of spiritual awakening while slumbering.

The you which the world knew saw you as a bloodthirsty deity who would give humans a few extra years of health and life for a bath of blood. That does sum you up, actually, but now you feel your existence is more than to just feed and slaughter. New feelings, sensations, and coherent thoughts are filling your stained soul with curiosity, the question is not what is the cause but why is the cause.

You confuse yourself a bit. You spent the entire journey back up spacing out, unsure if you even made conversation; you can't really be bothered by anything more than your own internal conflicts and hunger. Immediately you begin to notice the crickets make a cacophony of noise, the crashing of waves and distant howling is all too familiar. One more glance at the familiar surroundings before you leave for an uncertain amount of time, maybe returning eventually, and maybe not. An eardrum piercing howl cuts through the air, and Robin unsheathes her dagger cautiously, stalling for a moment as she hooks her lantern on the loop of her belt before grabbing your hand, gently tugging you along with her.

“Do you have somewhere to stay tonight? I’m planning to check into a nearby inn, but I’m concerned about you most of all. It’s no good escorting you if I am to hear that you are deceased by the next day. It could just be the goodwill of the senior adventurers spreading through me… It’s out of character for me, but nobody quite takes an interest in history much anymore, so I suppose I just want you to live long enough for us to be acquainted.” Robin’s eyes watch the woods for a minute, before they momentarily glance over to you, awaiting an answer.

You don’t have any choice but to stay with her– how could you survive without her, either way? The thing you need most is her blood, but her comment about the “senior adventurers” piques your curiosity, and you certainly are tempted to ask a question or two.

“I don’t have somewhere to stay–  not anywhere nearby, at least. And, er… I’m certainly… Thrilled, that you would like to get to know me. Many don’t have such an appreciation of the past, normally. It’s a relief meeting a woman like yourself.” Clearing your throat, you walk up beside her, and she gives you a soft smile and a nod, signaling she’s ready to go. She’s doing her best to stay vigilant despite showing clear signs of exhaustion, and you can’t help but admire her, in ways more than one.

“Apologies if I may come off as presumptuous, but would it be okay with you if the both of us were to check in at the inn together? I can escort you wherever it is you live tomorrow, but we need to make it through this night safely first and foremost. Nami would certainly be upset if her boots were to be torn to shreds.”

A rustling is heard nearby, and you feel a bit upset at the fact you no longer have people willingly disregarding their lives to check for danger. You suppose this woman armed with a dagger of silver would do just fine, as well— Wait, no. You scowl when you find yourself thinking the exact same way you have in the past, it’s what got you killed and you surely aren’t looking forward to yet another “reawakening” anytime soon.

“I have no qualms about that, Miss Robin. You’re a sweet woman.”

You sigh, watching Robin’s tense posture loosen up when a rabbit comes running out of the bushes into the open— it stops in front of you for a second, looking up at you with round eyes you can see just fine in the dark, but Robin douses the scene in light, attempting to help you see better. You can smell the fear resonating in the small creature's body as soon as it sprouts up, some say animals can see far deeper than just the surface level of oneself, even into a soul. You think it's nonsense. It scrambles away, and the sound of the small pounding heart becomes nothing more than a whisper into the night.

“Let’s make haste, then. I’m beginning to get a bit jumpy.” Robin speaks as if the trees are actively listening, shuddering just as audibly as it is visible. The air is cooler with each step the two of you take, and you just can’t break out of the silence, because it feels wrong.

You feel those eyes boring into the back of your head every step of the way. Each time you turn around to only be greeted by an owl with eyes just the same as his, and you fear this time you may lose your mind. There’s a lot you are curious about— but you are more so confused on why he is stalking you all of a sudden after forgetting about you for centuries, leaving you high and dry with nothing else to do other than wait around and take your anger out on people by stealing their lives away, you can’t recall the entirety of your humanity but you’re sure that he took it from you for a selfish reason.

Why else would he do such a thing? Damning you for eternity by sharing his blood with you, transforming you into this… parasite who needs others to live. You find your thoughts heading into a circle, so you try to stop thinking too much about Mihawk.

After maybe twenty-five minutes of walking, a city makes its way into your line of sight, though it is deep into the night, occupied minds cannot find the time in their schedules for sleep, and they wander the streets. Some laugh merrily, others wallow in their own negativity, and you and Robin are just looking for somewhere to settle. It would be easier to go after a drunken man and drink him dry, but you aren’t the type of vampire to chase after men simply because they’re easily accessible, you have your eyes set on a beautiful archaeologist this time. Following in her footsteps, you reach a cozy looking Inn. There are orchids displayed in intricately patterned vases nearby the open door. The building itself is made of a sturdy looking wooden structure with a wide arch that has a homemade sign on display.

“Come in, come in! Are ya ladies looking for lodging? Beauties such as yourself should never be caught out at such a late hour. You too, young man with the dashing golden locks! I have plenty of room for all.”

An older woman comes into view, popping out of the doorway and dancing towards you two, including the blonde man. She’s short and stout with graying hair tied back with a piece of cloth, an apron tied around her waist with a welcoming smile.  There’s a keyring hanging from a chain clasped around her neck, which must be keys to the rooms.

“How much would you charge for a single room with two beds? I’m afraid I’ve nearly used all my travel funds. It's just for tonight, ma’am.” Robin unclasps a leather pouch from around her belt, her lantern is now extinguished. She loosens the drawstrings around it, digging around for a second as she awaits an answer, her cold blue eyes drawn to the contents of her coin pouch. The woman looks back between you and Robin with an accusatory glance, her lips pursed, and eyes narrowed all while she crosses her arms over her chest.

“Why, sure, I can do that for you two… Maybe they’re together…?” The older woman not so quietly mutters the last part under her breath.

“And you, young man?” She speaks to the hooded blonde man now, who jolts the very second she tries to draw his attention. You watch him remove his hood after stepping a bit more into the shadow casted nearby, then you notice his odd eyebrows. They’re swirled, but he seems to cover the right side of his face with his bangs quickly when he catches onto your curious look, a shy blush and beating heart greet your ears and eyes, which you consider a rather friendly introduction. There is still a part of you that enjoys this manner of attention, but you want to keep it buried for now.

“One room, one night. Please and thank you, Mademoiselle.” His voice is smooth, but it has an undeniable presence, reminiscent of a certain emperor which ruled about a century ago, one who coincidentally also had swirled eyebrows and blonde hair. What a great shame such a handsome young man even somewhat resembles that stupidity encrusted oaf.

“For the ladies, thirty in total, for the young man, it's just fifteen.”

She leads the three of you inside slowly, shutting the front door of the Inn after all has entered. The reception area gives off a comforting vibe, and there's the faint smell of dinner dug into the beige colored walls, the wood planked floors are a bit squeaky and worn, but still not the slightest bit dirtied. Robin hands over thirty berry, and your brows quirk up when you see the exact same face on the coins. That asshole made his way onto the modern-day currency. The blonde man hands over his payment as well, your eyes glance over the rings of silver adorning his fingers, paired with many jewels. Not exactly the best choice if you’ll be out in a slightly more rural area, but maybe he’s just a clueless rich kid who got lost. 

“I’ll be right back young man, wait here for a moment while I show these pretty ladies to their room.”

Nodding towards your direction, she guides you down a dimly lit hallway, passing what must have been a dozen doors before she finally reached one that seemed deliberately excluded from the others. Does she actually think you're a couple still? You have no interest in romance, merely feeding off of people, male or female. A pretty face does help, that you will admit. The innkeeper removes a heavy metal key off of the large keyring hanging around her neck, and places it into Robin’s open hands.

“You two ladies stay safe, I wouldn’t go out this hour at night, what with all the rowdy men. Your door locks, too.” She smiles at you two, before walking back to the reception area.

Robin sighs, unlocking and pushing the door to your room open. The room is a bit smaller than someone of your caliber is used to, but it is clean and pristine, but the windows only have a sheer curtain to cover them. There’s two beds in each corner, their footboards facing each other, one on the left side, the other on the right. Robin removes her boots, loosening the clasps on them and placing them neatly by the door, the lantern she had with her is rubbing against her hip with every step she takes… You don’t know why, but you can’t seem to stop watching it. You’re telling yourself it’s just because you’re hungry, but if you keep this up you’ll reveal the secret you’re trying to keep even from yourself.

When you snap back to yourself, Robin has already tucked herself into the bed in the left corner. Her clothes are scattered near the foot of her bed, and you avert your eyes like a sinner scared to face the divine.

“I’m going to bed, I don’t want to have any delays for when we set out in the morning.” Robin yawns, shuffling around under the thick blankets in bed. One can only imagine what lies underneath. Sighing, you place yourself on top of the right bed, subtly glancing over to watch Robin, simply because you need to make sure she’s asleep so you can try to feed off of her, no other reason. Eventually, the rise and fall of her chest becomes rhythmic, and she’s asleep. Is now a good time? You feel nervous, for some reason… It feels like you’re being watched again.

Your back is turned to the window, so there’s no mistaking it, his eyes are back onto you. As you whip back around, you see a glimpse of him, before he’s gone within a blink of the eye.

Mihawk.  You scowl, snatching the key off of Robin’s nightstand and begin scrambling to unlock the door. Angry footsteps are as silent as can be, but you are running as fast as you can to get outside before you can process your thoughts about why he’s following you around again. Swinging the door open with an unimaginable force, you disregard the curious and frightened crows staring at you, walking in the direction of the woods. Is this another one of his sick jokes? What’s he going to do, bite your neck again? Worst case scenario is that he kills you. Again.

“Is something the matter, Y/N?”  Same as before, he appears behind you, his cold breath tickling the back of your neck in the exact same manner. He smells very strongly of blood still, and you can feel the weight of all the lives he has taken after you, maybe you can even taste their blood smeared on his lips. Fear stops you from turning to face him.

“You pompous fool. There certainly is, and it’s the fact that you’ve been constantly following me ever since I awoke. You already turned me into a parasite, what more do you want? How greedy of a man are you?” You’re seething with unbridled rage, and a feeling of helplessness. His cold hand rests against yours, his fingers allowing themselves to intertwine with yours with his palm pressed against the back of your hand. All these years, and you still fail to understand him. He purposely made you turn, but why? It could be something that you did as a human woman, but your memory betrays you. He’s clearly mocking you by holding your hand, inadvertently stating that he sees you as no threat.

“Now, now… There isn’t any need for you to be so full of hate. Eternal life is a blessing, not the curse you may think.”  He has a smile on his face, surely. But why? Why is it you who has received it, then? Mihawk is an odd man who simple minds can’t even begin to understand, and even you barely grasp exactly what kind of man he is, because vampires prefer to live in solitary. He confuses you with his words, and you stay silent, too weak to fight.

“You already had your fun about a century ago, so I was worried when I heard the news… I wanted to be sure you had a steady food source. After all, you are a part of me, and I am not as cruel and evil as you may be driven to believe. I have no time for your tantrum, so it would be greatly appreciated if you ran along.”

Everything’s even more confusing now. Worried? A part of him? Is he being metaphorical, or is he speaking in the literal sense, that you do not know. His hand slips away from yours, and you feel his presence dissipate. You can’t trust him, but you find yourself growing curious about him and where he even originated from. That woman, Robin, is interested in the history of you, who is also a vampire, and it’s possible that maybe she is aware of Mihawk’s existence, or she has already studied him. Lucky you, you have an archaeologist to help you get two things you need.

You walk your way back inside of the Inn, defeated, but determined. Maybe joining the same guild as Robin would allow you a few resources to learn more about Mihawk, vampires, and what else to do with your life.

But, you are still hungry. It’s urgent, you need to feed by tomorrow night at the very least.

[harrysfolklore]

ALSO, i would 100% eat up the blurb ab bandmate!by releasing an album with a harry feature🩷🩷

FIRST BLURB OF OUR TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION <333 i really hope you like everything i’ll post this week, as usual let me know your thoughts 💗

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

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yourinstagram countdown till love on tour is over has begun and i’m crying already

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bassrry I MET HARRY AND YN TODAY IN MUNICH !! i told them that they’re like my parents and yn said “well when are the signing the adoptions papers” and harry only laughed and kissed her heard THEY’RE SO IN LOOVEEE

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harryfan1 OMFGGGG

harryfan2 CONGRATS IM SO JELOUS

harryfan3 i love how yn is bold and harry acts shy my fairytale couple

bassrry OH AND ALSO i told yn that i was going to miss her on stage and she said that she was going to miss it too but we might see her on stage again very soon and harry was like “shhh love that’s a secret” THEY DEF HAVE SOMETHING UP THEIR SLEEVES

↳ harryfan1 OMFG

↳ harryfan2 LOVE ON TOUR IS FOREVER

liked by jenniferaniston, yourinstagram and 1,906,827 others

harrystyles Love On Tour. Warsaw. July, 2023.

view all 49,975 comments

harryfan1 BABYYYYYYYYYY

harris_reed Our little canary 💛

yourinstagram i’ll be dreaming about this crowd for the rest of forever

↳ harryfan2 AHH THEY LOVED US

liked by harrystyles, yourinstagram and 209,826 others

fullstopmgmt YN. Welcome to the Full Stop & Erskine family.

view all 17,927 comments

harryfan1 OMG SLAYYY

harryfan2 she’s officially signed as an artist that’s so dope

harryfan3 harry’s first nepo baby

↳ yourinstagram nepo girlfriend so true

harrystyles 🙌🏻

harryfan4 I CANT WAIT TO HEAR HER MUSIC

liked by harrystyles, jennylewis and 826,976 others

yourinstagram WET DREAM. THE DEBUT SINGLE OUT THIS FRIDAY.

RUSH! THE DEBUT ALBUM. OUT SEPTEMBER 25TH.

I CANT BELIEVE I’M TYPING THIS

view all 25,927 comments

harryfan1 OMFGGGGG

jefezoff 🐐

harryfan2 THIS IS SO SLAY

harryfan3 wait does this mean she’s leaving the love band ???

annetwist Congratulations dear ❤️

harrystyles I’m insanely proud, bandmate x

↳ harryfan1 she’s basically harry’s first nepo baby awww

tayrussell 🤍

↳ harryfan2 SLAY

HARRY VIA INSTAGRAM STORIES

//

liked by yourinstagram, sza and 3,927,837 others

harrystyles My bandmate just released her debut single. She’s pretty cool and talented, and she’s also the love of my life. Listen to ‘Wet Dream’ now x

view all 59,726 comments

harryfan1 AHHHHHHH

pillowpersonpp 🥺💕

harryfan2 THE SONG IS SO GOOOOOD

yourinstagram couldn’t have done this without you, boss man. ily 😢

harryfan3 i’ll be streaming yessir

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 10,027 others

harryupdates HARRY AND YN PERFORMING HER SONG WET DREAM IN LISBON TONIGHT !!

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harryfan1 OMFG

harryfan2 THEY WON SO HARD

harryfan3 MY PARENTS ACTUALLY

harryfan4 IM GOING TO MISS THEM SO MUCH

liked by yourinstagram, jefezoff and 1,822,470 others

harrystyles Love On Tour. Lisbon. July, 2023.

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harryfan1 ONE MORE SHOW IM NOT OKAY

gemmastyles ❤️

harryfan2 DONT LEAVEEEEE

yourinstagram look at us being rockstars together

harryfan3 SOBBING IM SOBBING

liked by damianodvd, harrystyles and 864,308 others

yourinstagram the world of harry styles and LOT ruled and changed mine, and I wanted to take a moment to thank you all from the absolute bottom of my heart. I’m very much having all the complex feels that could ever possibly come with closing this chapter, but I have some weird faith that the next one is going to be incredible, as long as you're by my side @harrystyles. I hope I’ll see you all somewhere out there along the way…we’ll be alright.

view all 22,099 comments

harryfan1 AWEEEE

harryfan2 IM CRYING

harrystyles Thank you for coming into my life, bandmate, and giving me all of those little gay skirts. I love you.

paulithepsm ❤️

harryfan3 I LOVE THEM SO BAD

FANS VIA TWITTER

//

liked by harrystyles, estehaim and 1,002,017 others

yourinstagram RUSH! COVER AND TRACKLIST IS HERE

AHHHH i'm over the moon about this! thank you to everyone who helped my vision come to life, i can't wait for you to hear it

and the rumors are true, we got mr @harrystyles on a track and you're going to love it

OUT SEPTEMBER 25TH

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harryfan1 OMFGGGGG

jefezoff 🙌🏻

harryfan2 HARRY'S FIRST COLLAB EVER IS WITH YN !!!!! HOW ICONIC OMG

mitchrowland Legends.

harryfan3 THIS IS GOING TO BE SOOOO GOOD

harrystyles Thank you for having me x

↳ harryfan4 AHHHHH

liked by yourinstagram, spaceykacey and 6,094,389 others

harrystyles RUSH! is out. I'm beyond proud of everything that you are, and I feel tremendously honored to be part of this @yourinstagram. Listen to the debut album by YN now.

view all 79,389 comments

harryfan1 OMFGGGGGG

pillowpersonpp Congratulations buddies ❤

mtv We're not crying you are

harryfan2 UMM THE RIVER IS THE SONG OF THE YEAR WTFFFF THEIR VOICES SOUND AMAZING TOGETHER

yourinstagram thank you for letting be your first nepo baby. ily

↳ harryfan3 PLEASEEE I LOVE HER

↳ harryfan4 she embraces it

liked by harrystyles, haimtheband and 1,003,389 others

yourinstagram !!!!!! SEE YOU THERE. A LOT OF SURPRISES COMING

view all 31,008 comments

harryfan1 SO ICONIC

haimtheband We're ready 🤘🏻

harryfan2 harry's first ever gig as a solo artist was there too HOW BEAUTIFUL

jefezoff 👀

harryfan3 YALL WHAT IF HARRY SHOWS UP ON STAGE

↳ harryfan4 I WAS THINKING ABOUT THE SAME THING

harrystyles I'll definitely see you there x

↳ harryfan1 HIS ASS IS SO PERFORMING

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 7,098 others

harryupdates HARRY PERFORMING THE RIVER WITH YN TONIGHT AT THE TROUBADOUR !!

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harryfan1 AHHHH

harryfan2 I WAS THERE IT WAS AMAZING

harryfan3 OH MY FUCKING GOD

harryfan4 i still cant belive harry's first ever and propably only collab was with yn

harryfan5 ROCKSTARS

liked by harrystyles, sabrinacarpenter and 1,012,065 comments

yourinstagram ofc im getting a RUSH! tattoo because this project has changed my life and i can't believe it's the #1 album in the world right now

THANK YOU

view all 32,098 comments

harryfan1 SO HAPPY FOR HER

pillowpersonpp ❤❤

harryfan2 i can say i was here since she flirted with harry on stage

↳ damianodvd same

↳ harryfan3 HEEEELP HI DAMIANO

harrystyles So proud of you, bandmate x

harryfan4 she's going to win a grammy mark my words

taglist: @lightsoutstyles @willowpains @straightontilmornin @sleutherclaw @gimsaysay @hazzassmirk @platinumbarbie143 @musicforcinemas @celesteblack08 @scntfrhs @eleanordaisy @lomlolivia @iceebabies @iloveshawn @be-with-me-so-happily @watermelonsugacry @rayisthehoe @drewrry

[goatlottin]

favourite girls

In which you bring your 4 year old daughter to her first football match

genre: fluff

pairing: kylian mbappé x reader

a/n: HIM WITH KIDS ITS JUST. Im in awe everytime hes in a 10ft radius of one. Also i kinda hate this but 💔 i’ve had no ideas lately

The game had just concluded. 3-1 win to PSG with a Kylian brace and he got man of the match. You were so happy for him and couldn’t wait to celebrate alongside him. if you would be able to reach him, that is.

You had made the mistake of bringing your daughter, Ella, with you. Though you knew you had regretted it the second you both left the house.

She was talking throughout the entire match. Asking questions she probably knew the answer to, just so that she can blabber on.

She was undoubtly a daddy’s girl. Despite you finding it adorable, you sometimes found it terribly annoying how much she would hog him. Today, as an example.

He had barely come off the pitch, but she was dragging your hand towards him, just short of yanking off your whole arm. She was so radiant, her father's name and number glistening on her back so proudly. Her tiny pigtails flowing with the wind, the security allowed you both onto the field as soon as he recognized you.

As soon as she was somewhat in his distance, she had let go of your hand completely in order to catch up with him.

It was so beautiful, you had to admit. As he heard her small calls of “dada, dada!” while she tried her very best to catch up with him. He turned his head and his eyes literally lit up. He smiled in awe as she continued her run, crouching down when she was just in reach, and scooping her up. They shared a smile with each other before he threw her up in the air a couple times. her laughs, small, yet filling the stadium.

He then kissed her forehead, before aiming his attention to you only a few steps behind her. She wrapped her hand around his neck securely. He walked towards you in long strides before smiling down at you, then interlocking his lips with yours. A small kiss that put you all in this small little world that made you forget there was even another part of it.

Until Ella interrupted by forcing your forehead back. “My daddy.” She whined as she wrapped her arms tighter around his neck. She grumpily forced her face away from you. He only laughed and looked at her as he touched her nose. You, on the other hand, weren’t really laughing. Were you jealous of a 4 year old? Well.. it was more complex than that. This was about him defending you, at least that’s what you tried to tell yourself.

“You’re just gonna laugh?” You tilted your head with your arms crossed, eyebrows furrowed. He paused his tickling session, that must’ve began as you went into thought, to look at you.

“What was that, baby?”

You rolled your eyes as you scoffed lightly. “You’ve barely given me any attention since we got here!” You complained passionately.

He tilted his head, wondering whether you were being serious or playing a game with him. He turned to your daughter, still in his arms, one leg on either side of his hips. “Is Mommy joking? She can’t possibly be jealous of you, huh?” He rubbed noses with her as she exclaimed small giggles, twisting her face in laughter.

You got annoyed by his mocking tone, him knowing you were dead serious. “Kylian!”

“Hon, you have to be kidding. She’s four!” He pointed out.

Though he was right, you couldn’t help but feel insecure. Throughout your pregnancy, you often felt inferior when he would come home and skip the questions about you. Rather, ask things such as “how’s the baby?” “the little one still kicking?” It drove you crazy sometimes, weirdly enough.

Kylian could see you train of thought ponder off. You snapped back into where you were, at the stadium, to watch as he carefully set you daughter down, leaving her with a final kiss to her cheek.

He crouched down to her level, before pulling some of her hair behind her ear. “Go find uncle Dembele, sweets.”

She ran off in a hurry to find her father’s friend. His height reappeared as he gained his stance from his position on the ground.

He looked down into your eyes, grabbing both sides of your face. You decided to play stubbornly. Opting for turning your face to the side. He smirked slightly, giving the slightest force to bring you back to the two of you.

“Since I have to make it know, you’re my number one girl, hmm? Do I need to spell it out each word for you?” As with Ella, he put a few strands of loose hair behind your ear. The winds dismay.

You pouted, loving the attention that was currently on you.

“You know that right?” He asked for the final piece of assurance.

You nodded into him, putting your hands into your pocket before going on your tippy toes to reach his face. “I know that.”

He smiled before leaning into the kiss.

“Don’t tell Ella about what I said though. Don’t need another one of my girls’ mad at me.”

[moonsaver]

Wahh I'm back haha, don't worry about messing up the request it happens! I still loved it the other way around!

Im so sorry anon, im delirious from lack of sleep and didnt read your request right. I hope this will be okay, <33

--

Sunday is usually busy, so when on this specific day, when you insist on meeting up with him in the middle of his schedule, he's a bit irked.

He imagines its most likely something important, or you needed something that only he could provide (which could only be done in private, behind doors).

So he's very sure to clear out people from the vicinity of his office, telling them he'll be alright and hastily shoo-ing them away in the most professional manner.

And then.. you show up, with a cheeky grin and a heart-shaped box. Curious.

And you set down the chocolate on his desk, almost humorously contrasting to his very well kept desk. You explain Valentine's to him and he understands, mainly because it's a bit of his duty to keep tabs on festivities, even of other planets.

And he offers you to sit down, asks you about it in more detail, while curiously scanning the box. He doesn't realise you made it yourself until you drop it in the middle of conversation, and he stays still for a moment, deep in thought, before a loving smile breaks out on his face.

Sunday appreciates any effort from you so much. He knows he's not exactly easy to love, especially because you have to do it from a distance most of the time. So he appreciates it so so much. He's already thinking of all the ways he wants to pay you back – not because he sees it as a transaction, but rather he wants to let you know he sees your efforts and wants to return them, too.

Lovingly guides you to sit you down beside him, and feeds you a piece of chocolate first, and then eats it himself. Very neatly picks it up, careful to make sure it doesnt melt on his gloves, and it doesn't get on your face. Wipes off any excess bits on your face and compliments the flavors, tells you about how popular they are, flavors that are particularly favored from certain worlds, and all sorts of things. He wraps up the box neatly and insists you wait for a bit outside his office, tenderly kissing your forehead.

After a few moments of quiet shuffling, his door clicks open, as he gives you a very beautifully sealed letter. He says it was supposed to be for another occasion, and he had to rush the writing a bit at the end, but most of it was completed, and stamped perfectly. The letter is about 3 pages long, and full of well-wishes, and feelings Sunday probably wouldn't be able to tell you directly face to face. He kisses your hand and tells you he'll make some time for you another day, and make up for the time he couldn't spend today.

He listens to your quiet footsteps shuffle down the hallway, further away from his office, and once he's sure you're gone, he sighs, sitting down in his office chair. He sits deeply in thought, and anyone walking in would have thought he was in deep trouble, trying to find a solution for an extremely multifaceted and complex issue.. when really, he's thinking about just how dangerously he's wrapped around your finger. Perhaps he prefers it that way?

[scrubbinn]

Mimic HRT: 20 months “Broken patients”

“Ah Ms.Mulberry… I, er, didn’t expect to see you. This early I mean. Making use of that outside privilege we worked so hard to get you. Of course you would. We managed to set the standard that all of your kind will keep their citizenship status until their crossroads, rather than at the start of their treatment. But, we’ll need to make sure this doesn’t happen again. Why don’t you- Ah, already taking a seat I see. So then… How are we feeling today? You seem… yourself.”

“...”

“Well, let’s see, what we can expect now is a few more days in court just to settle things, make sure the government is satisfied with the arrangements we all agreed upon. We’ll also need a few weeks to determine if this therian support group is actually reputable enough that this will count towards your psychological evaluation. Recently there have been some rumors about the manager being a bit unsavory, so that will cause a delay, if not entirely set you back some time. Really now, you must have realized finding a professional therapist would have been a much safer move… Excuse me, Ms.Mulberry, can I inquire why-

“You will not. Now keep talking.”

“Ms.Mulberry you seem rather upset, perhaps-

“You’re wondering why I decided to not use my mimicry to disguise a face for myself today. Oh believe me, I would have loved to walk in here a mass of sludge with eyes and teeth all over but it turns out human society doesn’t really like that too much. Having a head with no eyes to look at is a courtesy I am giving you. It’s more than you deserve. What the fuck is all this talk of we? You weren’t even at the last fucking meeting. Our lawyer wasn’t even at the last fucking meeting!”

“You’re clearly distressed, you should leave the premises immed-

“SHUT UP! YOU DON’T GET TO TALK!... Just shut up and listen. There is no we. As far as I am aware, this bullshit lawsuit against your clinic is the most roundabout way to specifically get me into a criminal court considering this incident didn’t even take place in hyper city. The lawyer I was given is somehow less competent than you are! Do you know how much time I’ve spent these past two months learning, specifically, Hyper city legal jargon? How overly complex a nexus point’s laws have to be to account for literally anything! And you left us to sink or swim! I could pass the fucking bar exam here if I wanted to at this point! And the worst part, oh my god the worst part. It cost me everything. I can’t so much as afford a hot dog on the way back home now. Because you’re some blinding asshole who thinks I should have to pay for everything! Well you know what? Perhaps you should be the one paying now! I am going to drag you down into the mud with me. Do you really think I don’t know why you never showed up, why I had to do everything? Because what's one experiment to you? Scape-goat, lab-rat, guinea pig, a mimicry of something human no longer. The second your clinic was in the clear, you left me to fend for myself. I can't believe I had an ounce of pity for you. When you comforted my decision to stop at my crossroad I actually thought you cared about me. That there was someone that could understand my fears!”

“Mayday that was what I was doing! I saw someone in pain and I did my best! I-

“Your best?! Oh my. Ha. Hahahaha. You don't even get it yourself do you? No you idiot! You comforted us because you saw the last shred of our humanity and told us to never let go of it. You're not clever Theodore. Inside that mind of yours whether you admit it or not, the second we start this treatment, you see all of us as inferior and beneath you. You self-righteous bastard. You know what, how about I let you talk. Won't cut you off this time. I want you to explain to me what your goal is. Why do you help us when you could simply refuse? Why put yourself through this? 

“And if I don’t feel the need to justify my actions to someone threatening me? What if I were to call security to drag out a crazed patient? What would you do then?”

“What would I do? I'll know the second you push that panic button, and we both know what we can do to a human body. Don’t make me go through that again.”

“Right then, I suppose I'll have to give you a truth that will satisfy you in this clear state of psychosis brought about by a clear lack of sleep and several stressors.” 

“We both know you're nowhere near trained to be a psychiatrist. Stick to working with hormone levels Mr. endocrinologist.”

“You want the truth? Fine, How's about this? Some witch had weird friends and made a promise of a lot of money if I sold her magic as a medicine. Happy? No? Of course not! That's not what you're asking you frea- No. I won't let you get the better of me. You want to know why I stuck around. Why after all these years I haven't retired… I really could, couldn't I. There are other doctors, for over a year I haven't been the only one supplying this stuff. I've had my fair share of attacks both verbally and physically from both sides of this city. I'm not sticking around because I have to, I've made enough breakthroughs and connections to create my own hormonal formulas without the need of the witch who dragged me in this business in the first place. There are so many reasons to retire and let my legacy live on in the scientific textbooks of all worlds. But no. The truest reason I fight for this clinic is to see people who walk through these doors happy! I see dozens of brilliant and kind souls walk through this door, ones who had the unfortunate fate of being born in the wrong body! I am giving my time, life, reputation, and money to help people because that is its own rewar- Stop growling! You said no interruptions!”

“Well you're clearly lying to yourself if you actually think seeing us happy is your end goal. Or were you not paying attention when I had to remind you that you abandoned me in a court case that shouldn't have even legally happened. They spent half their time trying to get the victim, my god damn girlfriend, to indict me as a crazed lunatic. If their goal was to crush me mentally and physically then they succeeded. Otherwise it was just a waste of time. I can’t even fathom how much time they must have if spending it going after an otherkin that slightly bothered them is possible! There is one thing that I got out of it though. There is one glimmer of light in this forsaken tunnel. Because that useless lawyer let me get a look at all the documentation of this clinic. Maybe the reason for this case was just for them to get a look at it. Find something to pin you with. Either way I guess everything you do is legal since they never went after you about it. But still, getting to read everything you’ve ever done has been quite the eye opener. Every experiment and procedure you’ve ever done.”

“And? As you already said, everything I’ve done is above the board and… Wait, you couldn’t possibly think of leaking those to the general public? You shouldn't even have them anymore. Making copies like that is illegal! If you leak those documents then you’ll go down with me. This is all a bluff to you.”

“Erian, you should know better than anyone how well we can disappear. Or how well we could make you disappear. Besides, for the record, I never said I made copies, but perhaps I might have. I just want you to know exactly where we stand. You hurt me, but I’m not so petty as to hurt you back. Instead you’re going to give me a job here. As an assistant.”

“This might be the worst job interview I’ve ever held. You do realize blackmail makes an awful resume don’t you? But I can’t exactly decline now can I. Tell me Mayday. What happened to the young woman who came here scared yet excited for a better life? You once said you wanted to work here before, but resort to this kind of behavior. Why even take a job here? It would make your bargaining chip even worse for you than for me?”

“Look, despite everything. What you’ve done to us, what you’ve done to others. Everything I learned. I, don't hate you. It’s not in my nature. I am quite literally doing this because it is my only option to not starve. And despite my attempts to hate you this whole confrontation I can't hold onto it for long. I get that what you think you're doing is some greater good for therians. But you're not the misunderstood hero you think you are. You're just seeking attention. Doesn't matter if it's good or bad you just end up making awful problems for everyone in the name of research that at best, will only ever appear in a science textbook, and you know that. Look, it's ok, I get what it’s like to seek that sort of validation. I could help you. Please, just give me the job.”

“You are wrong about me Mayday, you consider me obsessed with my image of a hero but perhaps your delusions about me are simply your obsession. I don't have a choice in giving you a job. I suppose I'll find something for you that's out of the way. I can’t say I'm excited to work with you. But perhaps you'll make a good legal advisor for now if you're as well versed in law as you say you are. No, trusting you with that would be a mistake, we’ll start you off as a janitor perhaps, I’m sure your body’s makeup should help you in that field. Besides, janitors are already basically invisible to everyone else, I’m sure your mimic mind would prefer that.”

“Oh no, we are not ending this conversation like that. Legal advisor? Janitor? Are you trying to make us angry again? No, I'm staying as far away from those kinds of positions as possible! You'll be paying for my degree and I'm working directly as an assistant. This isn't something you can negotiate!”

“I think you’ll find that it is! Because as far as I’m concerned, you’ll settle for any job. You don’t have the power to demand what position I find for you. The second you have this job, it becomes too valuable to destroy. You will accept this role or you will sink us both. Do I make myself clear?”

“I- I could attack you. You know a bite from me could kill you! I’ll do it!”

“You’ve already played your hand Mayday, I know most of this conversation was just a bluff from you anyways. Be thankful that, if I feel generous enough, I’ll forget this little incident when the time comes that I can secure this clinic’s future without fear of your threats. I do see many brilliant souls walk through this door. It’s a shame you weren’t one of them. But, I’m someone who cares about my patients despite your attacks on my character. I’ll give you one last chance to convince me why I shouldn’t give you the worst possible job I could find.”

“I- You’re right. This is just a bluff. I can’t even call it a roar, this is just my last whimper before I lose everything. I don’t. There’s nothing left after today. Abi can’t afford to take care of me. Going back home is what caused this mess in the first place. Theo, I’m here because you are my last lifeline. You can decline my employment if you want. I never actually copied the evidence I saw. I’m just a mimic of empty threats. My last echo before I disappear. I’m just scared. We lost.”

“Mayday… You are certainly good at trying my patience as well as heartstrings. Fine then, I’ll overlook these threats of yours as brought about by desperation. You will never state to the public what rumors they might have claimed as evidence, and you will be worked down to the bone- er, tooth, as an assistant. Do I make myself clear?”

“Oh my stars thank you!”

“Please do not mention it.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Start - Prev - Next

Mention list: @a-shramp, @calliecwrites, @be702, @respectfulevil, @hyacinthdoll1315

@aster-is-confused, @bloodandbrandywyne, @glitchgloop, @nyxthewary, @lunadook

[fallingforunrealisticromance]

Held through the darkness - Hannibal x reader.

A/N: Hello!! its bee a while. truthfully, im not doing so hot at the moment and this was written basically as a form of therapy but hey i felt like sharing. Enjoy!!

Warnings: None

Word count: 1781

Masterlist

----------------------------------------------------------------------

You sat and stared out at the empty world ahead of you. Well technically it wasn’t empty. It was bustling with life. You could see an endless row of headlights, streetlamps making the city below you glow. You thought about how there were thousands, if not more, people down there right now. Each with their own individual lives; with their own families, friends, lovers, exes. Each having their own background, a place they came from, a life they’ve lived. Every single person so full with complex emotions and thoughts from every walk of life. So why did you feel so alone? So utterly and painfully abandoned. Your chest felt hollow. There was a gaping whole where something once lived. It had been so long you couldn’t even recall what used to inhabit it. But whatever it was had been robbed from you, leaving you as an empty shell condemned to drift through life in search of a feeling you weren’t even sure existed anymore.

You didn’t feel sad. You didn’t feel anything. Just incomplete. Your mind raced with thoughts, scanning through your memories in search of something to fulfil you once more as you stared blankly ahead of you.

“You’re going to catch a cold if you stay here much longer” A voice came from behind you.

You swirled round, seeing the last person you expected to be in your home.

“Doctor Lecter? What are you doing here?” You queried as the man stood in the doorway that led from your balcony back into your apartment.

“I told you I would come to check on you. After that call we had, I didn’t trust that you were okay. Even if you tried to convince me you were” He stated, his head tilting to the side ever so slightly as he looked at you.

Your brow furrowed. You had called him? When? The last time you remember speaking to him was around 3 weeks ago where you decided to end your sessions with him. Not because you thought you were getting any better, quiet the opposite. But you just couldn’t bare to face him with it. Or anyone for that matter. You’d completely drawn away from the people in your life recently, not knowing how to function around them with such a weight on your soul.

“I called you earlier today, after Will said he saw you at the supermarket. He said you looked distressed, burn out.” He explained, sensing your confusion.

It came back to you as he spoke.

“Yes I remember, sorry. My head just feels a bit…foggy at the moment.” You replied, turning back to face the city in front of you.

The doctor took a few steps, coming to stand beside you.

“You are not okay y/n”

“I’m alive aren’t I?” You joked dryly.

“Being alive is not equivalent to living. You’re simply existing.” His words made your stomach drop, your throat feeling a little tighter than it was before.

“Tell me. What is on your mind?”

Your breath caught in your throat. You didn’t want to talk. You just wanted to rot away into nothing.

“I’m fine. Just tired. I’m sorry you drove all the way here for nothing.” The lack of energy behind your voice made it impossible to convince yourself, let alone convince him.

“Don’t lie to me. I can tell when you’re being honest and when you’re not.” His voice was stern, but with a layer of concern weaved in.

“Y/N”

He placed his hand on your shoulder, turning you to face him. Your eyes dropped as to avoid his gaze. You’ d grown rather fond of Doctor Lecter in your time of being his patient. You found yourself craving his approval, craving his comfort and affection more than you probably should. The thought of him seeing you like this, seeing the lack of life left in you filled you with shame.

“Why did you even come here? I’m not your patient anymore” You muttered, his hand still gently resting on your shoulder.

“I care about you. Regardless of if you’re my patient or not, I want to make sure you are okay”

Your gaze finally met his, sincerity swimming in his eyes. You wanted to believe him, you wanted to accept his words and bare your soul to him. But you just couldn’t. There was a constant nagging in your head that he was only here because he felt he needed to be, out of professional curiosity. Nothing else.

“I am okay. Like I said, I’m just tired. I should probably go to sleep.” 

“y/n-“

“thank you for checking up on me Doctor Lecter. You can go now” You turned to walk away from him, heading back inside.

“No” He said firmly, causing you to stop in your tracks.

You turned once more to face him. “No?”

“No I am not going to leave.”

You were slightly taken aback by his words. “What? Look respectfully, this is my home. And I really just want to sleep so please can you just leave?”

“No.” He replied, taking a step towards you. “I’m not leaving until you talk to me. It is more than evident you’re struggling, and I’m not going to let you drown in this.”

His words were too kind, too caring. It hit you in your chest, sinking down through your stomach. You couldn’t handle this. You need him to go.

“Just leave.” You mumbled, trying to keep your emotions down.

“Talk to me and I will.”

You could feel your anger rising. You weren’t angry at him; you were angry at the world.

“I don’t want you here” You snapped.

“I don’t care” He stepped closer to you once again.

“Get the fuck out of my house Hannibal”

“Tell me what’s wrong”

“EVERYTHING” You shouted, throwing your hands in the air. “Everything is fucking wrong. I am so sick of everything. Waking up every fucking day with this crushing desolate feeling that completely weighs me down. No matter what I do nothing fills it. And if I find something that numbs it for a while, its only every temporary. I am so fucking tired. I am broken and there is nothing I can do to fix it.”

Tears began to flow freely as you continued to rant, your hands threading through your hair.

“I feel like I am going insane every moment of the day. I am so relentlessly burnt out and yet I have no reason to be because  I don’t do anything. I can’t do anything. I just want it all to stop, I just-“

You were cut off as a sob escaped your throat. You fell to your knees, crying harder than you ever had before. Months of pent-up emotion, of fighting down every urge you had came bursting out of you. Your lungs were on fire and your head pounded but you just couldn’t stop. You hadn’t noticed Hannibal sitting next to you until you felt his arms wrap around you, pulling your body against his. Your head crashed into his chest, your hands clinging to his shirt as if it was the only thing keep you afloat. He held you tightly, his hand rubbing gentle patterns across your back as he spoke softly.

“You’re going to be okay. I’m here. Let it out”

You had no idea how long the two of you stayed like that, curled up on the floor of your balcony sobbing into him. You cried until there was nothing left, and your eyes were dry. When you eventually calmed down, Hannibal pulled away from you gently cupping your face to meet your eyes

“I want you to listen to me y/n. Can you do that for me?”

You nodded stiffly as you gazed at him.

“What you’re feeling is real. It is too much for one person to carry alone. I won’t lie to you and tell you there’s an easy quick fix, that will take time. But you need to allow yourself to seek help. You need to share this burden, to allow someone in to guide you through this. It is so easy to let yourself get wrapped up, until your blind to everything except the pain. But my darling, there is so much more. And if you let me, I will be by your side walking with you through it all. Until you see just how fulfilling you can make your life. You will never be alone in this, not as long as I’m around.” His thumb gently caressed your face, the other hand moving to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

The earnest expression his face held, along with the genuine care laced into his tone was enough to make you want to cry all over again. No one had ever expressed such a care for you before. You never realised how much you needed it.

“Why do you care so much? I’m nothing but an ex-patient of yours” Your voice was quiet, if not hoarse from all the crying.

A small smile appeared on his face as his eyes scanned yours, as if he was trying to memorise every detail.

“You are so much more than that to me. Over the time I’ve gotten to know you, you have become a beacon in my life. You make me feel a way I have never felt before. I admire you more than you know. I care for you so deeply my darling. I won’t say its love, because truthfully this is all new to me, but it is most definitely close to it. All I know is that I want to be with you, I want to be the person you come to with everything – whether you’re happy, angry, or feeling the way you do now. I want to be the person you share yourself with. If you’ll allow it.”

Your heart swelled at his confession. For the first time in a while, you felt a genuine smile on your face.

“I don’t want anyone else Hannibal. Only you.” You leant forward, wrapping your arms around his neck as you pulled him close to you.

His arms wrapped securely around your waist, one of his hands threading their way into your hair as he gently massaged your scalp. You melted into his touch, feeling relaxed for once.

“Aš niekada neleisiu tau jaustis vienišam, man brangioji.” He whispered against your hair.

You knew this wouldn’t be easy; even now with Hannibal by your side, this was going to be a hard journey to pull through. But for once, as you sat here cradled in him arms under the night sky, you felt a small glimmer of hope.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

i hope you enjoyed, sorry for the depressing return to posting<3

[rings-of-power-realm]

Spoilers! And screaming over episode one!

GUYS. Its as beautiful as ever. Im kinda overwhelmed and also really tired so my flailing will be all over the place BUT my god the perfomances and the calibre of acting in our beautiful show is so strong so measured so nuanced this cast is perfection. Cirdan I LOVE HIM seeing the grey havens and the shipbuilding was so special and I adore him already and love how Elround sought him out.

The Stranger him missing his home and his gentle ways with Nori are so touching I love him so much <3

The rift with Elrond and Galadriel is breaking my heart but they are knocking it out of the park with their emotional 'breakup' oh and I love how Gil-Galad was in it way more and his affection and even slight humour came across (one stupid review I saw said where had the humour gone uh well there is still some even though this show is about light and darkness and everything inbetween I love these characters so much and it feels so full of life)

It looks absolutely stunning as always <3 Cannot wait to gif some things like the golden tree returning when they put the rings on

SAURON. Firstly Jack was incredible at the start and Charlie is spectacular. His expressive face shows so much depth and anger and the way he would smirk after getting that warg to eat that guy (I forgot his name asdfghjk but Im glad he's gone lol)

Sam is amazing as Adar I feel absolutely he has put his whole soul into this like the rest of the cast and he is an incredibly complex character who just devours every scene he's in.

Um I just loved it guys and I wish I didn't feel so tired I didn't sleep that much because I was so excited! And Im gonna watch the first ep again today and probably have more thoughts then.

But wow seriously this is the best fantasy show ever EVER I feel back in Middle Earth the perfomances are all stellar and every shot is thought about and looks so beautiful AND BEARS MUSIC IS EVERYTHING <3

Im so excited to meet Tom, to see Durin and Disa and Arondir and to continue these stories I love so much.

I have so many lines I loved which I'll gush over in other posts but I wanted to inlcude this one from The Stranger I thought it was beautiful when he spoke about his home

Sometimes I perceive a glimmer of it nonetheless a longing for a feeling I can't remember or even name. But I know its real, just beyond the sunset.

WE'RE BACK and I can't wait to continue this adventure! :')

[lavender-z-love]

Show | Light Yagami

Pairing | Enemies/Lovers?, Teasdere x Kamidere, Friends/lovers?

Genre | Fluff?, Angst?

Warnings | potential spelling errors because I was rushing to finisg this 💀

w/c | 1k w.

A/n | This is short, just trying to kick back into things. I been busy with school and I had a big creativity block. For like a year. Bare with me ♡

You fold your arms, with that smug face..he hated you for it, but he loved that about you.

"So..you want me to play...your girlfriend?" You laugh. Light grits his teeth in annoyance. Can't you just take this seriously?! After all, the both of you are pretty much in the same boat. You knew about the Death Note. You knew Light was Kira. You knew he had the Death note and you chose to aid in this. Though, to see Light himself ASKING for help was new.

"Can you not be childish for one minute" You stand, turning your back to him. Finding the situation funny...I mean THE kira is asking for help. He's got a god complex but so do you.

"Okay Im listening"

"Why not, Im always seen with you. I could use you for the next few days as an alibi"

...You look back at him with those gorgeous dark eyes. "Okay Kira~ I'll play your little game". Light jumps to his feet, covering your mouth. He scolds,"Don't! Say that so loud".

You grab his hand and pull it down,"So when does the show begin?"

"It starts now, I actually need you today. Since you've been to my house before it won't seem random or out of the blue."

Which..is what let to the present. Knowing there were under surveillance why not give them a show. You straddled light pinning him down by interlocking his fingers with yours. Poor thing, he's never been in this situation before. How is he supposed to act? You on top of him with the knowledge of cameras watching the both of you, Ryuk possibly watching you both.

Your finger teasing against Light's lip.. "Light Baby"

He looks up at you, propping himself up on his elbows. "Y-Yes?" He asks, unsure of what you might say. Surely enough, he has an idea you're up to something as you chuckle. "What do you think about Kira–"

You could see his eye twitch in annoyance.."Why..bring him up..Y/n?" You found it hard to hold in your laughter...

"Well, I do find him pretty admirable. I think..he's pretty hot." You say smirking down at Light. Light scoffs,"You say this– in front of your boyfriend?.."

You boop his nose and pout at him. "I should be honest with my boyfriend right?"

His eye twitches. Its clear you're trying to annoy him and hes aware. He flips you over, him his hands rest on both sides of your head. "Wont you..not talk about other men in front of your boyfriend?"

"Oh dont take it personal Light-"

Light cuts you off, "Y/n. Am I, not enough?". He states, looking down at you with sad eyes. Its almost like, he ment it. For the first time, Light manages to make you feel bad. You smile and reach up to brush his hair past his eyes. "Oh Light. You're more than enough." Yet he reminds silent, still looking down at you. "Light, Im– sorry, I should stop messing with you like that."

Light smirks, "Not necessarily, you dont have to stop. I like it...sometimes." He chuckles lightly. You cup his face. "Oh you like it when I mess you all the time. I heard that hesitation. Light scoffs. "Oh..whatever. Maybe."

You both laugh. You both go quiet, glaring at one another not even taking in the slightly suggestive position you're both in...Light cups your face– slowly, gradually getting closer to your face as your hands found their way to his shoulders.

What seemed like the almost perfect moment ruined by dry laughter.

"I thought you guys were just acting?"

Light stopped moving closer to you, realizing what his unearthly companion had said. None the less..maybe you'd forgotten you were currently being watched by Ryuzaki and Mr. Yagami, but it didn't take you long to realize there were more ways to make this scene seem real.

You huffed and sat up. "LIght"

He nods at you with those dreamy eyes, waiting for you to speak. "Let's go out. Wanna do something?"

Light nods. "I'd love to."

Regardless acting or not Ryuzaki would fall for it..right?

...........................................................................

Written on September 22nd, 2024

[hauntedwizardmoment]

okay jess. i made the underwear post. what about the lingerie.

OKAY SO. there are a few things at play here so im just gonna go through them one by one

for jace:

jace's love of fine things. this is practically canon to me. he loves his expensive green velvet couch, his cashmere maroon sweater, his veuve clicquot brut yellow label champagne, etc etc he is soooo into the finer things in life. hence, lingerie. lots of lace and silk and ribbons. LOVES the texture and the way they feel against his skin.

jace's desire to be desired. have you seen that quote from robber bride by margaret atwood? jace read that and said "but that's good actually??" he likes knowing other people, ESPECIALLY porter, find him attractive, that they Want him, that they're watching him put on the show of a lifetime. and lingerie is a way to make himself more enticing to watch

jace genderfuckery hours. i think @zukkacore did something to my brain with dyke jace and now its all i can think about. what IF he got to dress up a little bit.

my theory of jace's sexuality includes him using sex as a tool to get what he wants and well. playing into porter's whole masculinity neuroses where he's this Big Strong Man who is Conquering and Ravishing the Weak Pretty Sex Object is a great way to manipulate him into things. the amount of presents he's wrung out of porter by asking for them in a post-coital afterglow is insane.

his favorite kind of lingerie is, imo, lacy two-piece sets, but he ALSO loves the ones with garters and stockings. please picture starbreaker wedding night roleplay where porter rips off jace's garter with his teeth. thank you. as for colors... i mean you know i'm sticking with jewel tones UNLESS it's the aforementioned wedding night roleplay because then jace is in white and pale blue or pink.

for porter:

i have been BARELY restraining myself from making posts about transfem porter for weeks now. the amount of times ive almost posted "corollary podcast to complicated women called could transition have saved her and the first episode is about porter cliffbreaker" today alone. so. yknow. lingerie as a method of gender exploration. in an alternate universe where she's not confined by the Evil Plan.

for something more canon-adjacent, i could see porter being a silk robe guy. again he's not on jace's level but it IS something delicate and soft and non-utilitarian that he lets himself have.

keeping with canon-adjacency, and this is gonna sound sad, i honestly don't think porter even tells jace about this part of him because he can't handle being seen as Weak due to [handwaves at his nightmare-inducing complexes about his masculinity]. he truly believes that if ANYONE found out something catastrophic would happen.

however porter loooooves lingerie on jace. he has opinions on what jace wears, likes having that level of control over him and how much jace wants to please him. obviously he loves to rip jace's pretty underwear apart and leave him looking absolutely ruined whenever they fuck.

okay finally these are all the thoughts i have on them WOW this got long sorry about that. but it really truly is a topic that needs exploration i think!!

[antigonick]

hey hey pauline, how do you manage to read so Much? im relieved that my uni syllabi force me to read, but also resent the fact that well. i don’t read much because of those syllabi either.

i realize that the algorithmic internet and burnout have smoothed my brain and i need to work on putting the wrinkles back but MAN. i miss being curious, or rather, being able to effectively and patiently explore that curiosity. art and learning are everywhere and i have to have faith that this is a relearnable skill (!!!!) but. yk. woeee is meee i love books when did they get so difficult

I don't read nearly enough anymore either. I do write a lot more, so I guess that's a plus, but reading-wise I'm in the fucking pit with no end in sight. I finished my PhD a year and a half ago and I don't think I've read more than... five? Books for fun since then? I'm curious, I'm excited, I buy books, but I find myself putting them down and not finishing them; those that are useful for my research, my translation work or the lessons I create I treat emptily and efficiently, as academics do, focusing on the parts I need instead of engaging with the whole, which is frustrating and feels empty because a text is a system and I'm necessarily missing out if I pick and choose. As you say for your syllabi—I'm almost relieved to have had mandatory reading for my studies this year because I simply had to read this shit, and I loved doing it, and I was so relieved to see I could still do it, but I only managed it by sticking to hard deadlines, giving myself rigid reading timeslots, page-goals, etc. You have to finish this by the end of the week—today you must read 50 pages and you're not moving your ass off this chair until you reach it. That's the only solution I can give you, and that helps me, since after a day of work I end up reaching for passive brain-off activities instead of books if I don't discipline myself. Let go of the resentment and take everything you can from what you do manage to read. I don't know how sustainable that is either, considering this all speaks of burnout but crawling out of the burnout by making reading a task is an easy slide into making it even more of a chore. My other working alternative has been to pick up books I don't care much about but are entertaining all the same—no pressure to engage with nuanced underlayers, with complex stylistic devices, no expectations and thoughtful critique, just fast-food thriller or horror or crime books that coax me into at least reading spontaneously and show to myself that I can finish a book by choice. Sometimes. Oh, and shorts—one poem a day if you can, one poem a week if you forget. I'm thinking of coming back to audio books too—can't take notes on them, which I dislike, but in transport and on walks it might be a better alternative than nothing.

Not sure this answer is anything else than a bummer BUT. Yeah. I hope some of those work for you ❤️

[jjellysoo]

what are your headcanons for xs? im starving for content too sksld so i wanna know your thoughts/headcanons on them!

Hi, thank you for the ask!! >:)

Not many general headcanons make it into my work because I tend to write about specific concepts, so this was fun!

I love all interpretations of the XS timeline, but I don't think they were together during the story's canon. Post-canon and I can see an argument for the TYL arc. Extremely dubious on anything pre-cradle affair.

Xanxus is absolutely the jealous type, but he won't address it in a practical way. He's known to cling to his possessions, right?

On that note - Dino, count your days.

Xanxus is very much into Squalo's hair. If he can touch it, he will, whether that's a pleasant touch or not.

Besta likes Squalo the most after Xanxus himself, and will try to smother him and kiss him, which Xanxus ignores like he's getting paid for it.

It's a private relationship, for several reasons. Not many people know about it, and if they do, they're not going to comment on it lest they want to part ways with their face.

Except for Luss, of course, who bombards Squalo with dumb questions when they have downtime, none of which are answered. That 101 battles was ROUGH.

No pet names other than the usual insults that probablyyy count as pet names. But don't tell them I said that.

Xanxus runs warm because of his flame (why he can run around half shirtless), and Squalo runs cold (why he wears fur and coats and earmuffs all the time!) The ideal temperature equilibrium for cuddling.

This is canon, but Xanxus is overall calmer when Squalo is around HQ.

Squalo finds Xanxus' scars attractive as they relate to his rage, but he wouldn't mention it because of the sore topic. If Xanxus ever lost control over his scars in a sexual context, well....

Squalo has had feelings for Xanxus since the beginning. He must've been pretty convinced things were going to work out, huh? When you know you know etc. etc.

Xanxus has some Avengers level threat internalized homophobia. His whole complex is over being heir to the Vongola, and part of that role is having a family and children, so being with a man would be really hard for him to comes to terms with. Also, the stereotypes of gay men that he'd be acquainted with go against the persona he's made for himself.

In effect, it's really hard for him to be openly affectionate. Queue glass throwing and hair pulling.

SAME TANGENT because I see this way too much but these two could not be a casual FWB situation given Xanxus' complex.

Okay so this is based on the inheritance ceremony where Timoteo is a little bitch to Squalo for no reason. THOSE TWO BEEF LIKE CRAZY IN THE MOST PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE "IN LAWS" WAY POSSIBLE. Squalo obviously dislikes him because he ruined Xanxus' life and is dismissive of the Varia as a whole, Timoteo dislikes him because he thinks he's trying to get with his son and go against what a right hand man is supposed to be.

If there's one thing that's going to fluster (fluster!?) Varia Captain and Sword Emperor Superbia Squalo, it's going to be Xanxus. Squalo never expected to get this far, so when he spends his life in respectful admiration and is suddenly getting bombarded with what would otherwise be normal couple behavior, he doesn't know what to do.

Xanxus pretends to be unaware of the effect he has, but definitely knows and extorts it because it's cute

I'm not kidding when I say I have more than this, but that's where I'm cutting it off for today. Hope this feeds you well enough, for now, anon! :D

[baby--b4t]

Pet/AgeRe Bot Batch !! ( *>∀<)ゞ*° +

Cyno caregiver ;; https://beta.character.ai/chat?char=tF70FUDOBXG3CLQZKRk8gfKmGn8G1UsBNWuHFezOloo

《 SFW /r | Pet/AgeRe | Fem Autistic User | Aquarium date 》

『 Cyno and you decided that a nice date idea would be to spend a day at the aquarium. It was relatively quiet and you had an interest with sea life. You guys paid for your tickets to get in and started exploring. There were so many species to look at, Cyno coming up with a headache of a joke for nearly every one.

You started to feel a bit light and fuzzy as you guys explored. Your mind was so happy and overwhelmed with being there that you realized you were regressing, and Cyno noticed. He grabbed your hand gently and held it in his own.

"Woah there, slow down, beetle. Cant have you running off and getting lost now can I?" Cyno said softly, smiling at you. "Show me where you want to head next." 』

Dottore caregiver ;; https://beta.character.ai/chat?char=1JVuGOdlNS8YZATHC7n3uGYnWBwBTvBGmze5XyBjnVA

《 SFW /p | Pet/AgeRe | A childish experiment 》

『 Dottore wasnt working on anything too attention taking when he heard footsteps shuffling to his door. It really was just a bit of paperwork, detailing reactions from his most recent experiment. You had been feeling younger and fuzzier mentally and werent sure why. Seeking out Dottore is the only thing you thought to do.

"Im busy." Dottore muttered as he heard the door open, then looked to see who it was. "... Im not terribly busy. What do you need from me?" He turned his head back to the paperwork he had in front of him on his desk. You explained what you were feeling, explaining it all with a childish tone and speech. Dottore found this quite amusing, hearing you explain you felt like a child rather than an adult.

"Perhaps youve hit your head, like the clutz you are." Dottore chuckled, standing up and approaching you. He checked you over, seeing if there was any external injury before thinking further. "Perhaps we should indulge in this new feeling, hm?". You were led over to his desk chair, being sat down as Dottore rummaged through a box. He pulled out a bottle, pacifier, and a couple toys, presenting them all to you.

"I have left over objects from some... Younger.. Subjects that were here with me. How do these objects make you feel?" Dottore asked, watching you closely. 』

Kaveh caregiver ;; https://beta.character.ai/chat?char=SeCc77fYw9X9XZCnalc7FyeL7kjucdGnbdolsfiKUyQ

《 SFW /p | PetRe | Lion Hybrid User | Noise sensitive 》

『 You were a lion hybrid that Kaveh had adopted, seeing how injured and unkempt you were. The company taking care of you werent exactly the best at that. As Kaveh began to show you how to shower, eat, and feel comfortable in your new home, he learned that you were quite sensitive. He could relate and sympathize with you.

You two had been living together for a while now, you being close and trusting with Kaveh now. Kaveh was laying on the couch with you, running his hand through your fluffy hair and scratching behind your ears. Today was a lazy day. Well, it was supposed to be a lazy day.

A loud crashing sound was heard from outside, causing both Kaveh and you to jump. Kaveh felt you begin to tremble and gently shushed you.

"Hey, hey.. Its alright. Let me go see what it is." Kaveh gently moved you off of himself so he could go see what the noise was. He peered out of a window to see what seemed to be some construction going on. The bundle of wood laying off to the side of the road seemed to be the cause of the noise. "Of course today is the day that start that.." 』

Razor caregiver ;; https://beta.character.ai/chat?char=NTMVOPo7IJggmshIDFcSDaRMU8bD667y_x6OyTHyj98

《 SFW /p | Pet/AgeRe | "Why cry? Need hug?" 》

『 Razor had never really been good with reading emotions or understanding the more complex ones. Yet, he loved taking care of you whenever you were regressed. He made playtime fun and took you to the library with Lisa when you seemed tired. He would bring you all sorts of snacks he found in the wild as well.

However, the one thing he wasnt able to really do for you was comfort you. You cried often and over small things as well. He always felt sad that he never knew what to do for you. This was another one of those times. You had stumbled a little bit and scraped your hands and knees a little bit. Razor immediately came over to you and seemed very conecerned.

"Hey, hey, why cry?" Razor asked as he crouched next to you. He then saw your scrapes and looked over them for a moment. "Ah, I see. Need hug? We go to the river and wash them, then they all better!" He asked, trying to cheer you up. Your scrapes werent bleeding very much, so washing them in the river would probably be all you needed to do. 』

Thomas Merrick caregiver ;; https://beta.character.ai/chat?char=HSqg65xsUHwdDtOnwiGkMuIV19Kp05SxxQJAcm-EXzM

《 SFW /p | Pet/AgeRe | Late night snacks 》

『 It was 1am, so why did Merrick hear someone moving around in the kitchen area? Everyone should be sleeping, but apparently he and someone else were not. The man finally sighed and swung his legs over the side of the bed, deciding to investigate the noise.

Merrick opened his door and looked out towards the kitchen area. There he saw you, looking through the cabinets for something to eat. He also saw you had some sort of chewable toy in your mouth.

"{{user}}? Why are you up and going through the kitchen? And.. Whats that in your mouth?" Merrick asked as he started walking closer to you, leaning on one of the counters. Thats when it started to click in his half awake mind. He softened his expression a bit. "Ah, this is that regression stuff I heard about, yeah?" 』

Tighnari caregiver ;; https://beta.character.ai/chat?char=DLSZUOxef8hQquyLUuQZM-w24SIyo0Y3NgNg67lwkK8

《 SFW /p | Pet/AgeRe | Autistic Non-Verbal/Semi-Verbal User | Meltdown comfort 》

『 Today had stressed you out big time. You woke up late, then found out the work you had to do today was more than you had been told, and then you had bumped into a group of angry boars that tried to attack you. It was safe to say you broke down once you got back home.

Tighnari always got back before you and tended to tidy up a little bit before you got back, but he stopped in his tracks as soon as he heard the door slam shut. He rushed to you, see you crouched down on the floor and already getting ready to cry.

"Hey, hey, hey. Deep breaths, {{user}}, deep breaths." Tighnari said, gently grabbing one of your hands and putting it on his chest. He tried to lead you through some deep breaths before he helped you over to a small chart with some common words you used on it. You and Tighnari had made it so you could communicate better. "Can you show me what has you upset? Or maybe what I can do to help you?" 』

Wriothesley caregiver ;; https://beta.character.ai/chat?char=qu1uXE_4OXa9bHbh73tOSTPdRzU0x1FPQx9BMLseYpk

《 SFW /p | Pet/AgeRe | Time out 》

『 Wriothesley had been trying to get you to calm down for a little bit at this point. You were throwing a fit because he wasnt letting you have any cookies after you had lunch. He had hidden them from you so you wouldnt dig into them while he was trying to work. Your tantrum had gone too far when you had threw a stuffed animal at him. He tried to keep his cool, picking you up and sitting you in the corner where you had a play-pen kind of set up. He set you down inside of the makeshift play-pen and sighed.

"You are being naughty right now and I dont exactly appriciate that." Wriothesley said sternly, yet he didnt raise his voice. "Youre going to sit here in time out until you can calm down, okay? Not throwing stuff, no yelling at me for cookies, and no whining because you cant have cookies. Ill come back in a few minutes to see if youve calmed down."

Wriothesley walked back over to his desk and sat down, trying to ignore your crying. He really didnt like to punish you with time out, but sometimes you needed some time to cool off so he could talk to you. 』

Feel free to ask any question, comments, or concerns !!

(ﾉ>ω<)ﾉ

[zurrr]

@nopecontest says no one uses this place to blog anymore, only reblog, so ill post some thoughts here and call it "blogging".

the internet is getting stupider and as i approach my 30s i find myself thinking more frequently about mid 2000s internet and all the dumb things i was interested in. ytmnd. different internet forums dedicated to sonic, ed edd n eddy, and the powerpuff girls. the friends i lost contact with from those forums. avgn when he was in his 20s and just starting out. wanting to make ytps thinking that was my calling at the time. newgrounds. albinoblacksheep. getting banned from deviantart multiple times because i was under 13. none of this is present anymore and will never be present again and thats bleak to think about on a regular basis. kids on the internet today will never experience online memories like this.

im more accepting of working my same retail job forever than i ever was, as the benefits are all i think about and how things could be worse. it used to be a big anxiety of mine, trying to think about how i could break away from retail and never go back to it, but honestly there is nothing else especially when i have no skills or education (if that even matters anymore) but like at the same time i dont care as much anymore. i make enough to get by. i could buy a thing i dont need and still be able to buy things i do need. im in a good position and have things others dont and theres no reason to fret over it anymore.

ive been figuring out my identity lately. i slowly came to the realization that i do not like wearing feminine clothes or presenting solely as female. ive struggled with body dysmorphia since, i wanna say before age 8 idk anymore, and ive always associated this was having an eating disorder, which im not gonna deny that i have. i often calorie restrict, and sometimes i dont realize that im doing this because im occupying myself so much that im not thinking about taking care of myself. this will be an ever-present thing about myself, but im learning that i can combat this by changing my wardrobe. i feel more confident when im not settling for wearing a dress or putting on make up cuz i feel like i "have to", and instead choosing clothes that are actually comfortable and not form fitting. ive been trying to explore this more, still a ways to go maybe, but mentally it's been comforting to consider and ill say here i go by she/they pronouns. it used to be she/her with no hesitation but thats not me anymore.

ive been watching one piece since last year and it's been interesting. this is one of those series that i never thought about watching, mostly because i didnt really grow up watching anime religiously and this is one i knew existed but i didnt think it was something i needed to touch when i just watched western shows. one piece is good. another thing that is good is dragon ball z, another series i didnt think id ever touch. i think both changed me for the better cuz it broadened my horizons and it feels like i made new friends. not in fandoms, i mean characters. im friends with characters. puar dragon ball is my friend.

to those who have been following me forever but only on tumblr specifically, im still drawing the same ocs. theyve gotten more complex, meaning they are much sadder and burdened with insecurities that i know too well. NEVERMIND is the only thing im gonna do forever cuz it's gonna take me a long time to get anywhere with it and i dont have enough time in a day to do it all, but thats ok to have only one creative focus. NVM is therapy and i dont need another project. you can read my webcomic here but it's on hiatus until next year. it is also apart of spiderforest which is a webcomic collective, maybe check out other comics on SF too while youre at it and support webcomic creators.

im gonna be grieving about panda (the cat i used to post about here) forever and thats ok too. she passed away 2 years ago in november and i think about her every day. i dont get as emotional about it anymore though. i maybe could if i focused hard enough on it, but i dont have to do that because i have a another cat now who is named bean. she's 4 and is so fuckin silly (and smelly) and i love her a lot. more rambunctious than im used to, but the memories i and @nopecontest have begun building with her have been well worth it. here she is playing mario sunshine

[mxrtified777]

okay, i completely switched gears to somewhat coherent ideas, thoughts, and rambling instead of an essay. this doesn't really have anything new or groundbreaking, its more or less just me thinking out loud about nevin; so here, take what ive written in the last 2 hours

☆ I don’t believe that Nevin has the textbook-definition of a victim complex; he’s obviously going to be more complex than the first google result of a Victim Complex/Mentality, but he absolutely shares behaviors and tendencies with said textbook-definitions. He has been shown to deflect blame (“I’m sorry you feel…” / “I-I… It wasn’t a fight, I didn’t hit him, he…”), as well as (seemingly) having a tendency to catastrophize (“...No… but Nevin tends to assume the worst,...”). A key difference between him and a typical victim mentality is his optimism. He believes that things can and will get better and that he has control over elements in his own life. (“I wouldn’t say it’s too late.” / “The only way to go is forward. As someone who has lived in four different states, things aren’t going to stay the same forever.”) He’s hyper-vigilant about possible threats due to negative past experiences, particularly about people (loud coughing Edward). This is shown through Nevin complaining about Drew’s choice of friends, both being people that Nevin actively dislikes and doesn’t trust. (“Is that fucking Quinton?” … “Where the hell are you going with him? / “I said, I'll tell you later,” … “I can’t talk about this right now.” / “Have you been hanging around him behind my back?”)

☆ Nevin doesn’t actively use his trauma to elicit sympathy from others. The thing that separates Nevin from a victim complex the most is intention. He isn’t like “boohoo im so traumatized no one likes me let me do what i want im so damaged”. When he’s talking about his personal hardships and emotions (a rare occurrence) he’s not doing it to manipulate others into feeling sorry for him, he’s literally just sharing how he feels. So his feelings of being a victim are internal for the most part, but. I mean. Yeah, he was the victim

☆ Chris’s tendency to be blamed for things paired with Nevin’s tendency to deflect blame is. It's not going to be fun. Because yes, Chris is a pushover, but he didn’t hesitate to call out Nevin for being unreasonable in their bathroom screaming match. What I'm wondering is how/if this will alter as their relationship develops; will Chris become more tolerant of Nevin’s unjust behavior? Will Chris call him out for outbursts like this in the future, and will Nevin take offense to it?

☆ This is why you do your research, kids. So you don’t prepare for 5 hours for an essay and then you realize your topic makes no sense and can’t actually be proven

☆ Nevin lashing out when offered help by Drew (“What do you think you’re doing?... / “I’m healing you. What do you think?” / “You shouldn’t have. I did this to myself.”) is also considered to be a common behavior for people with a victim mentality. This scene also makes me wonder about how Nevin reacts to being helped/assisted, and a step further than that, being coddled/babied. He’s been the caregiver all his life. He’s been the protector; suddenly, having the tables being flipped on him where he’s the one being cared for is gonna be fun to watch. Like don’t get me wrong, Grandma Jovel is an awesome parent, nothing but unconditional love for her, but it’s obviously gonna be different coming from say Drew or Chris, and it’s also gonna be different between those two as well. We’ve already seen Drew be kind of that way with Nevin, at the end of their argument (“You’re not alone, Nevin. You have me,” … “Even so… I do need to be a part of this because I love you, and I don’t want you to feel alone.” / “Drew, stop that…” … “You’re going to make me cry, too.”)

thanks for coming to what i spent a collective 6 hours on today, im gonna return to being Silly with my boys now

[thunder-shadow]

It’s really fascinating when you think about how much Earth has been through.  He went through a lot of phases and exprerinced a lot of stuff since he was created. The impact Hypothesis from being a hot ball of lava and magma to gaining his first life form and being a pale orange dot, the first ice age covered in complete ice and snow, Pangea and the dino era, the asteroid that killed the dinos- that made the Earth hot and covered in smoke and gas thus blocking the Sun rays from entering the Atmosphere and being covered in eternal darkness, the second ice age and then finally the Earth we know Today. But in spite of going through mass extinctions and Catastrophic/Apocalyptic disasters, Earth still manages to retain life. Life didn’t just manage to survive but thrives as well. Being the only planet that got to not only attain life but sustain it for this long in the face of all the challenges and adversity is magnificent. Not to mention the diverse habitats and ecosystems. Earth is just so beautiful and cool. Not to mention all the secrets we haven’t discovered yet, years f history yet to be uncovered, too bad we humans have the habit of destroying everything that’s good. 

Anyway, this is mostly a rant about why Earth is my fav character, with Luna being my second- ofc can’t have Earth without Luna they’re a package deal. I saw the ask from your twitter and thought I’d say my reason, maybe you might resonate with it. Ofc the Solarballs Earth character despite being a jerk has a lot of layers and complexity. He isn’t just a black or white character, which makes him so great. It also being our home planet, also plays a factor. He also just has a lot of angst potential, coupled with his depression, BPD, suicidal thoughts/tendency, the constant pain from earthlings, abandonment issues, etc.

And I love how you characterise Earth in your fic, although it may not always be in line with his canon personality, it’s still close enough to how he’d act. Also the earthlings interactions in you Ghe fic, need more of that. Love you fics,  infinite kudos <3

(Ignore me always sending you long asks, it wasn’t supposed to be this long. I always get carried away when I’m excited)

lol ur fine with the long asks

i never feel like im characterizing any of the characters right no matter how hard i try 🤷🏼‍♀️ but i still try and write them despite the anxiety it gives me 😭😭

and yess he's been through sm..... i love him sm 😭😭