#her fricking glasses

[whiteboardartstudios]

I SAID I WAS GOING TO DRAW THAT CAR SO HERE WE ARE (I hope you enjoy this is the stupidest thing I've drawn in months /affectionate)

(I put the image descriptions in the Alt text this time because there's so many images. If it doesn't work please tell me and I'll yeet them in the actual post!!)

happy finale of Wild Life everybody! :D

[haro-draws]

hehe longe canvas

[beanlot]

simon riley, who’s trudging through the sand, leaving the chopper. his darkened eyes, usually surrounded by smudged ink, has been diluted by sweat; the scorching three-week effort of travelling through mexico, and long before that, the confines of the dingy underground bunker they’d used as a command post.

his eyes squint harshly in response to the sunlight, pupils dilating when he sees your figure in the distance.

his wife, holding his little girl in her arms.

sometimes he feels like a failure. absent, unable to provide - no matter how much you tell him you signed up for this, marrying a man who served; no matter how much you try to reassure him that it’s fine he’s missing his child’s first steps or words.

he hates himself for it.

“look, it’s daddy!” you whisper excitedly, gently bouncing the little human in your arms as he approaches. his eyes have softened, a contrast to their usual aggression.

“hey there, my little angel..” he murmurs, clearing his throat as his hands cautiously take her from you. her eyes are big, bulging with surprise, and quickly glassing up with fearful tears.

great. the cherry on top to let you know you’re a shit father, riley.

“oh, i don’t think she likes the mask..” you murmur, trying to calm her down as she starts bawling in his arms. but he’s quick and selfless, gloved fingers reaching for the hem of his balaclava and slowly peeling it off.

“it’s just me, angel. daddy’s not scary, hm?”

“simon-“ you quickly look around, noting the disorientated faces - because he’d never taken his mask off so carelessly, it wasn’t just habit or a way to hide the torture, but it was second skin.

“it’s fine, love.” he reassures you, because for the second time in his life, he needs to figure out his priorities. and ghost, was starting to go further and further down the list, especially when he looks at his daughter; her big eyes, ones she’d adopted from you, scanning his face with amusing confusion.

she looks like an alien this close up. she’s probably wondering who the frick is this guy?

“see, baby? it’s just me..” he whispers, his desire to protect her strengthening when he feels little hands start touching his eyes.

it makes you laugh. fuck, you’ve been staring with love-heart eyes for ages now.

with your help, he’s sliding off a glove, and tenderly tracing your jaw. he missed this, your skin under his fingertips, his thumb tracing the dark bags under your eyes.

“you’re alright? everything been going smooth whilst i’ve been gone?” he murmurs with concern and doting, “getting enough rest, love?”

“i’m okay. it’s part of the job.” you nod, because you knew what you were getting into when you had the conversation, how long it took just to muster up the courage to say i think i want a baby. you knew what motherhood meant, for you and your marriage.

he admires you for it. and he’ll get on his knees and worship the ground you stand on for providing him with a beautiful family, a warm home when he needs it.

and quite frankly, someone who puts him in his place so effortlessly.

“i missed you, c’mere.” he murmurs, burly arm wrapping around your shoulder and enticing you into his chest, careful not to squish the little one. you’d sway side to side, your heartbeat cudgelling against your chest with his scent; he doesn’t smell that good, but you’re grateful that he’s just here, grateful enough to be smelling his dehydrated sweat and grime.

i missed you too, handsome.

“she’s perfect, ain’t she?” he whispers, letting you step back. his eyes are fixated on his little girl, pupils dilated with adoration; the little eyes stare back, but go to curiously analyse the surroundings not long after.

he breathlessly laughs, watching as the little hands tug at his badge. “looks just like you. thank god..”

you playfully nudge his shoulder, sighing. he looks like he’s daydreaming as he scans her - chubby cheeks that have ate well, little strands of hair, thick lashes that blink in bewilderment as she looks around.

but she’s definitely got his bitch face. she looks like she’s judging all the grown men in here.

“had a talk with the lads, and there’s some discussion about me coming home.” he states, his fingers delicately stroking the back of his little girl’s head, feeling the soft fluff. “permanently.”

“what..? but you love.. but this is al-“

“i know, love. but i just can’t.. be out ‘ere whilst you raise ‘er alone.” he pauses. you know he’s right, it wasn’t devotion that had him stuck to you like glue during the end of your pregnancy, or the birth. it was pure luck.

he wished he could’ve been around to watch your bump grow, sit there each morning whilst you retched into the toilet. he needs to be the man you deserve, the father his daughter deserves.

“i wanna be there, for ‘er and for you.” he murmurs, hand reaching out to graze your cheek affectionately. you missed the scorching heat of his palm, the callousness of the jagged scars tainting it.

it was time for him to pack his shit, scrape away all the baggage and gruel from al-mazrah and las almas. and instead, bathe in the intermingling body warmth of his wife, under the sheets on a thursday evening. praise her for the fine woman she is, kiss at the stretch marks on her hips and stomach from the beautiful life she’d created. sit beside his child as she bashes shapes against the toy sorter angrily, pretend to eat the plastic food she gives him.

it was time for him to forget ghost, just for now, and be simon riley.

[suzukiblu]

"Lex Luthor's latest character flaw" poll winner, "deciding he wants grandbabies and giving Robin a cloning lab about it". Behold, a new WIP strikes!!

“What,” Tim says, staring blankly at the brightly-lit and airy sunroom full of very obvious cloning technology in the very expensive penthouse that Lex Luthor’s bodyguards just dragged a handcuffed Red Robin and Spoiler into after kidnapping them straight off patrol in the Diamond District in the middle of an active crisis situation with the League of Assassins and disabling all their tech and every single one of their trackers six and a half hours ago, down to the bastardized Kryptonian-tech ones in their back molars and two more in both of their suits that Tim didn’t even know existed, plus the one he put in Steph’s collar that she didn’t know existed. Babs is probably just about feral by now. Bruce is definitely feral by now. 

And Lex Luthor is drinking what appears to be a neon purple protein shake out of a rocks glass while sitting at a neatly-arranged desk in the center of the sunroom lab, looking idly bored and scrolling through whatever’s on his phone with his free hand. 

Alright then, Tim thinks carefully. 

“There you are, I was starting to wonder if I’d gotten al Ghul riled up for nothing,” Luthor says, barely glancing up from his tablet. 

“. . . which al Ghul,” Tim asks with wary dread. 

“All of them,” Luthor says, setting down his tablet to give him a pleasant smile. 

Well, now Tim knows why nobody’s dropped in a skylight to rescue them yet. And also why half of Gotham is currently on fire. 

“Uh,” Steph says, glancing around the sunroom lab. “So like, lead-lined glass in here, then, or . . . ?” 

“We’re in Connecticut, so no,” Luthor replies dismissively. “Anyway, the Boy Scout always gets suspicious of too much lead in one place. Which I personally find darling, since anyone in Metropolis without at least a lead-lined and soundproofed bedroom is essentially asking for Kryptonian voyeurs, whether intentionally or not on said Kryptonians’ parts. Also, privacy laws exist for a reason. As do patents, copyrights, attorney-client privilege, HIPAA . . .” 

“Connecticut?” Steph repeats incredulously. “What the frick is in Connecticut?” 

“Currently, us,” Luthor replies matter-of-factly. “Hope, Mercy, do me a favor and go check the security systems manually, just in case any invasive species of vermin have gotten into them. Also, yes, there is kryptonite, and no, there is actually much more than you’re theorizing.” 

“You have literally no idea how much kryptonite we’re theorizing,” Steph says as the bodyguards both leave with an affirming nod. Luthor gives her a pitying look, then turns his chair a few degrees towards Tim. Tim immediately expects the inevitable threat or ultimatum, and braces himself for–

“I’d apologize for all the fuss, but I don’t actually care about inconveniencing you and don’t see the point in pretending I ever would,” Luthor informs him. Tim stares blankly at him again. What is even happening right now? “Now then, what are your intentions in regards to ‘Supernova’, as I hear someone’s started calling himself now. ‘Themself’? I’m not sure if ‘Supernova’ is meant to be gender-affirming or more a ‘too old to stick with ‘Superboy’ but there are already three ‘Supermen’ active and the whole, you know, general stubborn individualism they’re so fond of. Or ‘he’s’ so fond of. Whichever."

Tim stares at him. 

“Is this supposed to be a trap for Supernova or a shovel talk for me?” he asks, because a) he’s not telling Lex Luthor anything about Kon’s gender or personal choices that Kon hasn’t publicly stated, and b) only Lex Luthor would actually kidnap two active vigilantes in the middle of a crisis he’d apparently pre-arranged to give a–well, no, Bruce would also do that, definitely. But this is not a Batman talk, either way. 

Batman’s “talks” all involve tests, for one thing, so actually so far this is an improvement. 

“It’s an engagement present,” Luthor says pleasantly. 

Tim’s brain crashes, then does the slowest reboot of his life. He’s recovered from concussions faster, he’s pretty sure. 

“They’re . . . not engaged, though?” Steph says skeptically. “Or, like, even dating?” 

“Red Robin’s commitment issues are his own problem, not mine. I’ve got a schedule to keep,” Luthor replies dismissively.

[phyrestartr]

Deal With It (P.1) | Gojo x M!Reader |

W/C: 2.8k C/W: depictions of self-harm, depictions of depression, poor mental health, stress, mental illness, arranged marriage, hostile relationships, smoking, language, violence Tags: SFW, hurt/comfort, drama, canon-typical violence, character growth, eventual romantic feelings, eventual fluff and good vibes, kouhai gojo, senpai reader, plot and lore

Tag List: @pleniluneg4ze @aizen-lover @easnowpw @tomiokasecretlover @snoweclipsese @mef0rg0r @soulsire @kiiyoooo @reiluvr @fricking-ur-mom @cucumbertoptier @enchantingkitty @mira-la-sol @deepestartisanhumanoidshark @animadi888 @cloudserenity @sageofspades @dietothemusic @prettorett @animadi888 @playboygeniusphilanthropist @chikai-k @starrykie

1.

“So, you really don’t care what he thinks?” Shoko asked as you lit her cigarette. “Even I think he was kinda harsh.”

You pocketed your lighter and leaned back against the cold college walls. “He’s got a thing for that black-haired guy.”

“Getou.” 

“Sure.” You shrugged and tried to rub the ache out of your neck as you stared up at the bleak, grey skies. The air reeked of petrichor. Thankfully you’d brought an umbrella that day. 

“And you’re not bothered he’s in love with Getou?” Your friend continued, her cute bobbed haircut swaying with the tilt of her head. She always looked so charming like that, when she was being a mischievous brat while pretending to be anything but. 

“Dunno.” And that was the truth. “He’s not even my type. I’d rather hitch up with someone like you or Nanami. Someone less annoying. Less loud-mouthed.” 

“Ooh, that'll hurt his ego.” Shoko smiled. “Well, guess you'll have to learn to deal with it.”

You took a deep breath and rubbed your face as you nodded. “Yeah.”

–

“Forever is a long time,” You mumbled, leaning your forehead against the cool touch of the window. Rain pittered and pattered, exploding off the glass like trillions of kamikaze planes. It almost birthed some sort of hurt in your chest. Best not to dwell on it, you decided.

“Hah? Are you talking to yourself again like a weirdo?” The one and only Gojo Satoru yowled before kicking you in the rear like a petulant child. “Pft! Figures. Knowing my luck, I would have to get married to a creeper.” 

“Even if you married Getou, you'd still be marrying a creep,” you grumbled, dusting the dirt off your behind. “You need something? Or did you harass me just for the fun of it?” 

You heard Gojo, your fiancé, scoff and shuffle behind you. “I just wanted to remind you to humble yourself! Just because I'm forced to marry you doesn't mean you're accomplished or cool or anything, got it?” 

Being in his presence had you craving a cigarette. “Yeah, got it.” 

“And Suguru's better than you,” he added, aloof voice bowing down beneath hardened, steeled words. “Don't forget that either.” 

You bit down on your cheek to ward away the heat building under your skin, the magma sinking deep into your eyesockets and threatening to pour down your esophagus. The taste of iron washed against your tongue, and you released your flesh from between your molars. Sometimes, you wanted to keep boring down on yourself to see how much you could really take, but a fear of the answer too often made you think twice. 

“This is starting to bore me,” you said, tilting your head as you caught a flicker of red in your rain-muddied reflection. You touched your fingers to your tongue and found blood coating the tips. 

“Pah. I was gonna say the same!” You watched his reflection turn away. “Good luck trying to impress me.” 

I'm not interested. You watched him walk away, slouching and with his hands in his pockets like he was emulating some kind of yankii character. He might have fit the bill, if he hadn't had such a ridiculous, brat side to him.

Just deal with it. You wiped the red on your uniform with a sigh. Tomorrow's a new day. 

—

“Sorry about Satoru,” Getou said. He'd found you outside, tucked close against the stone wall with a cigarette in your mouth as you watched the downpour. Apparently, he liked the rain, too. 

“You don't need to apologize,” you said after a drag. “It's not your fault.” Probably. 

The younger sorcerer smiled a little bit wider. “In a way, it almost is; Satoru wouldn't be coming after you if it weren't for my, ah, sheer existence, I guess you could say.”

You shrugged. “You didn't ask to exist,” you said, secretly cringing as the words left your mouth.

Getou laughed. “Ho, that's a good point, I didn't think about it that way.” Another chuckle left him as he leaned against the wall beside you and stared at the rain. “It's definitely Satoru's fault, then.”

You hummed in agreement and offered him a cigarette. He blinked, but plucked one out of the box and looked it over before fumbling to tuck the end into his mouth as you held the lighter's flame out for him. You blocked the wind as he leaned in and inhaled deeply until the butt hissed to life with molten red. A beat later, Getou sputtered and coughed wildly, waving his hand through the air to dismiss your stare and the smoke's mockery. 

You frowned. “You don't smoke?” 

Your company wheezed and laughed, leaning back against the wall with a humbled smile. “Just wanted to see what all the fuss was about,” he said. “You and Ieiri—I feel like I never see either of you without a cigarette.”

“Life’s stressful, I guess.” You looked at the half-spent smoke in your hand, exhaling smoke through your nose as you thought.

You saw Getou lean in out of the corner of your eye. His dark hair brushed against your shoulder, though it could have just been the wind, too. “It doesn't affect you?” 

“Shoko reverses the negatives,” you grumbled. You stuck the cigarette into the corner of your mouth again before pocketing your hands. “Lung cancer would be an easier out than getting ripped to shreds by a curse, besides.” 

“Ho? You think so?” Getou teased. “You don't think you'd go mad? Laying in bed, suffocating in your own body, just waiting to die?” 

You shrugged. “It's a human way to go, at least. Random. Maybe self-imposed, sometimes. But…normal.” 

Time slowed for a second as Getou stared at you. You hazarded a look for once in your life, and caught the enigmatic thing's warm, obsidian eyes. They gave you pause, made you wonder, sent your mind reeling as you caught glints of jagged edges disrupting smooth, volcanic glass. 

“Are you alright?” You asked without thinking. 

Getou blinked, then smiled. “I just think you're interesting, senpai.” He glanced down at the smoldering stick caught between his fingers. “It's a surprise, to be honest. I think Satoru'll be in good hands with you.” 

You stared down at the puddle pooling around your boots. Another self stared back, his image ruined and distorted by raindrops crashing into him, yet he was still clearer than the version trapped in your skull. Maybe the mirrored image was your real self, and you were just the distortion. “I don't have much of a choice, I guess. But I’ll try my best.”

“That’s all we can really hope for with partners, right?” 

“Right.” A moment passed. “You’re oddly okay with this.” 

“I’m not taking it personally,” Getou said. “How can I? Neither of you want to do this, anyway—you hardly even tolerate each other in the first place, and now Satoru’s gone extra crazy about it.” 

The ground felt a little more solid under your feet, and you were a little more real, after those words were spoken. Even the reflection in the puddle grew clearer, revealing fresh colours once concealed by grey thoughts. Something would drain the world of its saturation again, but that moment would stay with you until that day came. 

“Thanks,” you said with some difficulty. “The thought’s appreciated.” 

“It’s the least I can do.” His hand clasped your shoulder and squeezed gently. You forced yourself not to shrink away from it like a slug trying to flee a grain of salt. “Thanks for putting up with him, senpai. Most people aren’t so charitable. Besides,” he said, leaning in close enough for his breath to brush against your ear, “I get whatever Satoru gets, and you get whatever he has, no? What’s yours is mine, what’s mine is yours, and all that?”

Heat scattered across your face and prickled the length of your spine. You were foolish to forget that Getou was a menace, just like Gojo, yet somehow more lethal. 

“Sure.” You didn’t look at him. You couldn’t look at him. It’d be a death sentence. “You’ll get as much as he gets, I guess.”

Getou chuckled and backed off. “We’ll see.”

–

Gojo threw open the door to your room and zoomed inside, socked feet sliding against smooth hardwood. “It’s me!” 

He slipped and fell as soon as you turned to look at him. “It’s you.” You snatched your walkman out of the air as it tipped off your desk following the sorcerer's tumble. “Why is it you?”

“Rude!” Gojo spat out in-between his pained whining. “I'm your fiancé! I'm allowed to be here!”

“That's not really how that works.” You watched Gojo melt into a starfish, stomach down, cheek smooshed against the floorboards. 

And you turned away, back to your work of flipping through astronomical charts and comparing the dates and info with the briefs sent to you, the one third year who bothered to stay. The admins relied on you too much, yet thankfully left the role of guidance counselor and teacher to someone older and more tolerant like Yaga. Still, the sparks of hope that were Utahime and Shoko promised some future relief for—

“Mou, why aren't you more concerned for your fiancé’s well-being?” Gojo whined. 

“I'm more concerned about your sudden desire for me to be concerned,” you offered. 

Gojo gasped and sat up in a whirlwind. “I never said I desired your concern! That's so salacious.” 

“Is this because Getou spoke with me?” You asked, leaning back into your chair with a sigh. 

“No!” He rebuked. “Maybe,” he said. “You better not be trying to win him over ‘cause you’re jealous.” 

“I’m not interested in him,” you snapped. “I’m not interested in you.”

“Hmmm, sounds fake. Everyone loves me.”

“Right.”

“You think there’s any chance they’ll call off the engagement?” 

“No.” 

“Can’t you, like, look into the future and figure it out?” 

You frowned and sent him a look. “What?”

Gojo swayed side to side, hands tucked in the middle of his criss-crossed legs like a kindergartener. “Isn’t that your thing?” He huffed. “Doing pre-op stuff, predicting future events, never really going out on missions ‘cause you’re low-key kinda weak in the field?” A ghoulish snicker left him. “I mean, you’re waaay weaker than me, so—”

“I don’t divine for myself,” you said, voice sharp and jagged. “I help avoid disasters. I help foresee assignment outcomes and the best way to move towards or away from them. I don’t—” You swallowed and caught your breath. “I don’t divine the fates of people.” 

“Well, maybe you should,” Gojo said, sobering slightly. “I don’t wanna do this, you don’t wanna do this, why don’t you just check and see how we can avoid it, huh? This is kind of a natural disaster in its own way.” 

“It’s just an arrangement,” you rasped. “You’ll get over it.”

“I shouldn’t have to.” Gojo frowned in return. “I’m gonna be the strongest sorcerer in the world. I don’t have to settle for an arranged marriage.” 

Your heart thudded dully in the back of your skull, its rising pace shaking the cage keeping it safe. Your throat tightened, too, while your thoughts warped and rippled into one another like your reflection, unable to stay whole under the devastation of falling rain, until you heard everything but nothing at once.

Your face must have done something strange for Gojo to look at you like you were a kicked puppy. You hated it, the way his expression flickered and the way his posture lost its self-righteous poise despite his childish way of sitting. He looked less-than. You didn’t mean to make him look that way. 

“I—” He tried, but you raised a hand. He fell silent. 

“I’ll look into it,” you said. “You’ll know if I find anything.”

If Gojo said anything more, you didn't hear it. You shut the rest of the world out and lost yourself in the positions of planets and the elements of each sorcerer available for future missions, comparing and contrasting the direction of energies to decide who would be best suited for which job. Losing your mind in the charts and data calmed your mind and spirit, easing you back down to an equilibrium until the sun rose again and you’d forgotten the turmoil of the hours before. 

Morning already. You squinted looking out your window and closed the blinds with a quick snap. Right after the blinds settled, you heard a snore. 

Gojo Satoru was asleep in your bed. His gangly arms hugged a pillow to his chest as he laid on his side, facing your way. The odd sight of peace on the younger sorcerer's face drew you in, bringing you close enough to get a good look at the snowy lashes resting against porcelain skin. He always looked odd to you, as though he were some kind of inhuman human, like an alien trying to put on the guise of your fellow terrans. But he was very much human; the glimpses caught of him during a distantly shared childhood proved as much. 

I don’t wanna do this, you don’t wanna do this, why don’t you just check and see how we can avoid it, huh? 

You'd never tell him you already tried to divine that. You could never relay properly how your mind burned with ways to discount your work and force self-doubt into what you knew to be true time after time after time; you were going to marry him. There was no way out. 

But there were still some things you could judge.

You sat down at your desk and skimmed through files until you happened upon Getou Suguru. Your heart hit your ribs a little faster, a little harder, as you found his birthdate and recognized his element as metal. It suited him. Gojo, on the other hand, held earth energy. That coupled with the more Western-normalized fire sign Sagittarius, explained him in a way that could be regarded as violating by those who didn't understand. 

You rubbed your brows and squeezed your eyes closed until sparking colours and inky black splotches danced against your eyelids. Charting the stars, understanding people, contrasting energies and suggesting changes to ensure favourable outcomes—all were the culmination of onmyoudou, the ancient art that carved the path and existence for jujutsu, but people feared an onymoji’s ability to read people more than the destruction caused by sorcerers. Onmyoji helped empires move, assisted in bringing them good fortune and positive outcomes; they could foretell what a person should and shouldn’t do. Clairvoyance born from calculations, and the wielding of shikigami by those clairvoyants, reeked of power and the abuse of it. 

Curiosity wrenched your eyes back open. You blinked away the stars and darkness until your vision and mind cleared enough to let you draw up a timeline of events and planets you’d already looked over a thousand times. 

You frowned and double checked, triple checked, quadruple checked the facts after a first look. You glanced at birthdates again and again. You looked for anomalies in the calendar and cross-referenced your sources. All stayed the same, all were as they’d been five and sixty minutes ago—you were too good at your job to be wrong, yet you still always held out hope for errors and your own incompetency. 

You leaned back in your chair and picked at a hangnail. You can always redirect energy for the sake of a client, you recalled; your mother had taught you as much. It might not be perfect, but we can try. You pulled at the sliver of skin until you gouged it out of your finger, leaving a bloody wound and a shred of relief in its wake.

You jumped as your door slid open to reveal Yaga. His train of thought stopped dead in its tracks as he spied the bratty Gojo curled up in your bed, snoozing without a care.

“What the hell is he doin’ here?” Your teacher groused. 

“He came in to harass me, I guess,” you said. “Then apparently fell asleep when I started ignoring him.” 

“Hah. Yeah, that kid can't function unless someone's giving him attention.” Your superior sighed and crossed his arms. “Anyway, you have those predictions?” 

“Yeah, I—yeah, just one second.” You rubbed your eyes and begged the rest of your lifeforce to lock it in as you saved documents and compiled them in an email for all the higher-ups to view. Something about the process made your spine rattle; it must have been the fear of not CC-ing someone by accident. “Sent.”

Yaga checked his phone as it dinged. He took a moment to skim through the forecast and nodded, letting you stand impatiently before him. 

“Looks like you touched on everything,” he said as he tucked his phone away. “Good job. Now get some rest, you look like shit.” 

Yaga took his leave, and you stared at the oversized baby hogging your bed. 

Rest. You nudged and pushed Gojo into the wall before collapsing beside him. Right.

[galactic-rhea]

Here's an unprompted bunch of Anidala headcanons because I had an awful, awful night/day and I need to ignore life somehow ✨

CW for Fluff(? Overload...probably?

- Whenever he gets the chance, Anakin doesn't take Padmé's hand rather her wrist to check her pulse. Yeaaaaah. i know.

-Padmé has shot Anakin several times (not that he didn't dodge them) because he tends to show up unnanounced through a window or a vent and because Padme gets assasination attempts like twice per week. The handmaidens ALSO have shot him several times, same reasons.

-Padmé is the one that gets "cute agression', aka: Bites, squeezes, headbutts, tackles, punches and pulls of Anakin's hair. In an Vaderdala AU, however...........I think she still bites, lol. She never gets to show emotions at all, of course she spills them all with Anakin, even if the results are weird.

-They're actually very old fashioned (tm). Like, even for the SW standards, common people would think they're weird because they probably recite poems in the equivalent of Space Latín. Probably because Padmé is an ex-queen and neither of them had a normal childhood, neither of them actually know how to act socially outside of formality. They're in their 20s but act like in their 50s idk.

-I don't think Padmé is very religious, but you bet that Anakin decided to study whatever nubian religioin he married into and all the customs. He considers himself more of a nubian than anything else.

-Here's a hilarious one: For some odd will of the universe, the gods, the force or whatever, Jar Jar usually manages to Tag along and third-wheel their dates. And is even more funny because they barely care, So the annoyed one ends being fricking Jar Jar of all people. They're there reciting their wedding vows for the fith time that day and Jar Jar is right there like "Meesa getting fed up of this", but he STILLS tags along.

-At first it startled her, but it kinda became sort of a "normal sunday when Anakin isn't on the battle front"; Anakin literally dragging himself after escaping from the medbay just to drop half-conscious on Padmé's floor like "Honey, I'm Home". And he still has a piece of shattered glass somewhere. Cue to Padme shaking her head and calling for her handmaidens to bring a medkit or to call Kix.Again.

-Padmé lowkey stole several of Anakin's jedi cloaks. Also a poncho.

[divierses]

SPEEDY SUMMERS, rafe cameron | 02

social media & irl au <pt.1 pt.2 pt.3>

pairing rafe cameron x f1driver!reader summary after spending years all over the world racing in the world's greatest motorsports championship; you find yourself needing a break from the tiring world of formula one, so after the 2024 season, you return to your hometown for the offseason.

authors note hello againn! part two is here !! if anyone wants ill make a taglist so if u do lmk and ill add u! not much more to say here rn but i hope u like it!

POGUES + YN

Y/N

where yall at gang

im over here looking clueless as frick

KIE BABY 💗

OF COURSE these dumbasses lost u

JAYJ 😈🔥

WE DIDNT LOSE HER

just temporarily misplaced

Y/N

omg this liar.. kie baby u believe me right 🥺��

KIE BABY 💗

yes always baby 😖💗

JOHNNY BOY

alright bucko pack it up

fr though yn what do you see

Y/N

uh uhhhmmmm i see a drug deal happening ??

yeah a drug deal for sure

i should cop some for myself actually

CLEOO 🫡

girl be more specific

or atleast describe something useful 😭😭

JOHNNY BOY

and do not aqquire drugs u will get kicked out of f1

POPE !!

bro only cares bc u fund his cost of living

Y/N

well one guy got dark hair and he wearing a wife beater

the other has a buzz and lowk he fine

SARAH

GIRL

my brother and barry 😭😭😭

JAYJ 😈🔥

ik u did not just call him fine

Y/N

which one did i call fine barry or her brother

JOHNNY BOY nicknamed Y/N “HORRIBLE TRAITOR”

HORRIBLE TRAITOR

alright asshole square up RN 👊👊

JOHNNY BOY

OK PULL UP RN. U WONT I DARE U.

SARAH

anyways

it was my brother u called fine

HORRIBLE TRAITOR

OH HECK NO… THE HATER…????

bye yall im boutta beat up sarahs brother

JAYJ 😈🔥

pls do we hate bro

POPE !!

pls DONT he will kill us

never listen to jj bc what

CLEOO 🫡

loud retweet

KIE BABY 💗

wait guys

enemies to lovers 🥺😍 awwwhhgt my baby sarah we gotta set them up

HORRIBLE TRAITOR

kiara the minute i find u….

SARAH

rest in peace kiara carrera

cause of death: shipped rafe and y/n

shutting off her phone, y/n looked around, trying to make out where her friends told her to look for. she saw a little dirt path and figured she may as well follow it and hope it led her to the beach where the others were. making her way down the path, she saw a convenience store and decided it was a good idea to pick up some drinks for the other pogues.

entering the store, y/n was immediately hit with a refreshing cool breeze. she looked around for the fridges for a minute or two and found them at the back of the store. she picked out some basic drinks and gently placed them into the green plastic basket she picked up when she first entered the store.

as she made her way to the checkout counter, y/n felt a pair of eyes watching her. she turned around to see what was a young girl, around twelve or thirteen, with dark hair and glasses. she was just looking at her. staring, even. awkwardly, y/n gave her a smile and turned away when the girl called out to her.

“um excuse me? i’m sorry to bother but i’m a big fan, would you mind if we took a photo together?” the young girl spoke.

turning back around, y/n replied. “yeah of course, kid. what’s your name?”

“wheezie!” the girl replied after she took a couple selfies with the formula one driver.

“oh you’re sarah’s sister! well then, i’ll see you around, wheezie. thanks for your support!” she told the girl and then walked away to the cashier’s counter.

after paying for the drinks she bought, y/n finally found the beach everyone was at. she walked down to the spot where cleo and sarah were sitting and offered them a drink from the bag.

“girl you just saved my life, this heat killing me” cleo thanked her as she took out a bottle from inside the shopping bag.

“by the way, sarah, i saw your sister at a convenience store. shes adorable, asked me for a photo and said she was a big fan” she explained her encounter to the blonde girl sitting across from her.

“dude you don’t get it shes such a fangirl, like she and rafe always fight whenever theres a race happening. every time it’s you and the other guy rafe supports they go crazy” sarah told her as pope came back from what seemed like a large circle of people yelling at eachother.

pope explained to the girls as he walked them over to the group how topper’s girlfriend, ruthie, ran over a turtle hatch and killed some of the baby turtles. y/n watched as kiara yelled at ruthie and topper, while a bunch of other kooks stood in the back. she recognized one as the same guy from the drug deal she saw earlier, rafe, was it? sarah’s brother. he didn’t seem too pleased with the situation, she could tell by the fact that he distanced himself so far away and didn’t attempt to aid topper in the argument. eventually, the situation died down after jj yelled at the kooks to stay away from them.

“yall got some truly interesting people down here, huh?” y/n spoke, trying to diffuse the tension.

“yeah, swear almost all those damn kooks smoke shit for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.” her brother responded.

liked by kiaracarrera, rafecameron, pierregasly, and 340k others

ynroutledge missing f1 and those turtles :/

tagged: kiaracarrera, sarahcameron, jbroutledge

comments…

user1 caption??? what does it mean??

>kiaracarrera a hoe named ruthie ran over a turtle hatch 😞

user2 day 15 without f1 i am slowly turning into the dutch flag

>maxverstappen1 i agree with this statement 👍👍

>>ynroutledge double thumbs up wow he really agrees

jjmaybank those kooks dude..

comment liked by creator!

rafecameron missing f1 is crazy when you drive for rb. next year is mercedes’ year.

>ynroutledge boy why are you in my comments

>>landonorris always “mercedes this” and “redbull that” WHAT ABOUT MCLAREN

>>>ynroutledge …

>>>>rafecameron …

danielricciardo its okay you can stay there and mourn the turtles ❤️ i will keep your seat warm for the season

>ynroutledge please do not warm my seat in any way ??? 😭😭

RAFECAMERON sent you a message.

[martuzzio]

HERMITCRAFT CATCHPHRASES

Hi, here's a (hopefully comprehensive) reference list of hermit catchphrases! The main goal here is to help writers and artists who (like me) might struggle with getting the characterization of some hermits right. Check out more info at the end of the post!

Note: this list updates a lot whenever I get new suggestions, which means reblogs aren't always fully accurate. I've linked this post to the top of my blog so it's easy to access the most recent version :)

Bdubs Shreep / uh-oh, gotta shreep! Crastle I love ya to death It’s gorgee Beyootiful Uh oh! Hell’s blazes! Hawsies YOU'LL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO! Shuddup! Judas priest! Bdubs' PERFECT REDSTONE!! What in the world! Holy cow! Nuh-uh! Hoimycraaaaaf Whimsy Trying my heart out

Beef EEskall That was my nickname in college! Nailed it! Dangit! Beefy Tunes Smelly Etho Opulent Etho? Oh, yeah, I own him Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Beef taught Etho about redstone Oh my goodness! Oh boy! What the heck Oh, baby! Quote unquote A ton of __

Cleo Class dismissed! I don’t need your stinky torches I will break your legs Trash is fish The answer to everything is leather pants Not because it’s the sand castle you deserve, but it’s the sand castle I need! What did you do, Joe…. It's FINE, everything's FINE Lovely Silly I mean... Not gonna lie... To be fair...

Cub DA CREAMADA CROP Alright guys Nice, nice Ladies and gentlemen / ladies and gentlemen, we got ‘em Eeeeasy money Beautiful, absolutely beautiful Mmmmmhmmmmmm Holy smokes Let's goooo! Sweet Oh, baby! Man, oh man Without further ado Peace out Cheers / cheers, man There's some heat coming off that thing

Doc Are you kidding me now? Alright guys Can’t touch this The G.O.A.T. Etho, get to the damn land man! It all started when Grian touched my redstone… Epic

Etho Uh-huh Like-a so Oh snap Get your snacks! Holy smokes! Take care, have a good day, bye bye Aww snappers! Aww yeah Von Sway I barely know ‘er! Speaking of llamas Bright blue bamboo E. to the T. to the your mum Beefaroni / Beefers Speaking of llamas… That’s what she said! Free glass Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Suckerrrr! Check it out

False Blimey Awh dude Frick False Supremacy Oh my goodness I don't know about you guys, but... Props to __ I'm not gonna lie...

Gem Gem is great Her [name] is [adjective]! Gem will __ ("Gem will watch Impulse") Perfect! Epic It's true, I swear! Not gonna lie... Oh gosh! Trust the process Nailed it!

Grian Hello! My name is Grian Good… byeeeee! Pesky bird My heart! My little heart! Mumbo Mumbo you are AFK Can we just agree that Mumbo loses? What in Queen Elizabeth’s shiny crown was that? It wasn't me, it was the man in the chicken costume! SaAaaaAaAnd Chobblesome SCAR NO— / NO SCAR— In theory… Electric boogalooo What does this button do? What on earth? This is in shambles Get outta here! Hear me out... We don't have __. What we DO have is __ Just straight up Without further ado Crack on Bingo bango Yes. 100%

Hypno Right, right Mmhmm You guys Dang guy

Impulse What’s goin on everyone? Shovel Shuffle BEHIND YOU GEM! Peeps Geez Let's goooo! Are you kidding me? Oh, man Now we're talkin'! Holy smokes Oh my gosh How cool is that? Jeez! Dang it! Buddy Presi (for present) You bet!

Iskall Hallo -skall ("richskall") That’s mega / that’s looking absolutely mega Omega “Excuse me? Sir?” __ of doom Okay, lol And I will see you dudes in the next episode I’ve had a realization Oh for goodness sake! It’s not fat, it’s big-boned Not gonna lie SaAaaaAaAnd Very fine Great success! Bird poop Bumbo Cactoni Do you even bust? / Do you even bust bro E Pag

Jevin Hypno smells! Oh my god Sucker What the heck Dude Man I swear

Joe Howdy y’all! That’s the Joe Hills difference! I will now say a poem of my own devising Core concept Keep adventurin’! Time skip! Who’s the guy who conquers death? That’s Joe Hills No not rage quitting I have to pick up my daughter from school or my wife will rage quit me! Grow Hills / Expand Joe Joepacity / Jhost

Keralis Look into my eyes and nothing but my eyes Wanna buy a book? Spank you very much Just sit back, relax, and enjoy Like this, like that I can see my house from here! Bubbles, Shashwammy, Sweetface, Princess Lookie lookie at my cookie / lookie lookie at my cookie… no, please don’t Like-a so I love your face I’m a real boy! I don’t k-nove (know) Not like this! Booshes Clever girl But first… lemme take a selfie I’m sinking… mayday mayday we’re sinking! Hallo yes dis is de German coast guard what are you sinking about? Scary harry larry I’m alayve! Breathtaking — no you’re breathtaking Mm-kay Oh behave I’m a simple man MeOOOow Welcome to my humble abod-ee Not too shabby My face! My palms are sweaty, mom’s spaghetti Tag 2 Booga Booga Stiffy nipples Batman! First I was afraid, I was petrified...

Mumbo I worry about myself sometimes I'm not really quite sure if I like that or not Yeah… yeah that's looking good… I guess… Dude! Chuffed to bits It’s a bit pants I’m such a spoon Oh my word It’s quite simple, really / it’s actually quite simple Bonkers I’ll catch you in the next one. See ya Off you pop Oh goodness me! Hermit challenges — initiation! All done and dusted To be frankly honest Seriously seriously cool Absolutely nuts I don’t even know what to say Iskall I feel sick Peace, love, and plants Moon’s big Mumbo for Mayor Quite simple

Pearl Lovely Bonkers At this point... Cheeky / you cheeky What's this? Mate

Ren Now we’re cooking with gas / we be cooking with gas today Ladies, get in line! / ladies, gentlemen, everybody get in line! You picking up what I’m putting down My dudes Y’know what I’m sayin’ Coming atcha frommmmmm Dude Coming from left, right, and center Greetings cyberdogs and citizens of the Interwebs, this is Ren-diggity-dog comin at ya in another episode from the Hermitcraft server (ey!) Automagically Jazztastic Janktastic Oh baby Like nobody’s business Looking absolutely magnificent Anyhoozle Twaddle Renstone The Octagon is a well-oiled machine! [word]-age [word]-ation [word]-i (to make things plural You love / hate to see it I'm just sayin' / if you know what I'm sayin' Professional __ Jazz Anyhoozle Exqueeze me? Freakin' Some serious __ What's happenin', baby? Chesticles

Scar Scarred for life Woah, what in the world! It’s gonna be am-ay-zing LOOK at the siiiiize of that Well, hello there my fellow miners and crafters, GoodTimesWithScar here. Welcome back to the wonderful world of Hermits and crafting Don’t forget to subscribe or you might just become scarrrred for life! Looking super fancy Let’s hit super fast build mode! Look at the size of that Appreciate ya Hotguy! Operation: Aquathunder! That’s what she said! Rapscallion You silly goose Oh, sweet baby Jellie! Bayum! / Bam! The bee's knees Easy peasy, orangey squeezy

Stress Are you havin’ a giggle? / are you takin the mic? Mate Oh my god / oh my gosh / oh my good gordons Gorgeous Plonker Geezer Ohhhhh nooooo! Yeeeesshhh I legged it Such a pro / I'm such a pro Proper __ Cheeky Bloke Thingamajig Ain't [word]-age [word]-ies

Tango Happy fun sauce -ificator, -inator, -ness, -tastic Skadoodle Fearsome bunny slippers Noob juice So here’s the deal Holding shift Shwoop Flim flam Poop came out Extra dumb with dumb sauce / __ of extra dumb Flee with extra flee! / fleeing with terror! Boom booms Gah! The dungeon is ready for its next victim Behold! Results may vary! I think my math is correct, but it’s been known to be wrong This is the worst timeline. I hate everything Big no! You— you freak of nature! Jerkface Jerkbutt Excellent How embarassing This is true Zombert Bits This I gotta see! Right in the face! [word] is happening Yeah baby! Stupid jerks Boop This is the best / worst thing ever! Niner niner niner [general unintelligible noises]

TFC What in tarnation! Crap-tacular Humongous Butt-ugly Ugly as sin Oh, goody Ender-twits Bugger Oh, fart For crying out loud

Wels Words are hard If you will Super __

xB Aww yeah Mmkay Son of a biscuit Pretty frickin' __ Man Get frickin' wrecked! Chestacle Dang it Staaph it Oy vey Crap on a cracker Dang it, Bobby! Dang guy

Xisuma Oh goodness me Oh dangit Geez Peeps I’m such a derp Oh my days Chooturial Issooma Allo Woa’ah Brought (instead of bought) My dude Achacha

Zed Hello hello hello A-good a-bye Muckin' about I lied TaaaAAnnGoOOooooOOOo Hu-jah! Pretty darn __ Certainly Rubbish I'm [word]-ing [word] me [word]-iness What happens is... Get kersplatted! Epic Oh my goodness!

More Info

So I'm currently writing a HC fic and realized how little I know about some of the hermits (I unfortunately don't have time to watch all of them), which made it really difficult to depict them properly in my writing. I'm assuming at least some of you might also struggle with this, so, here we are!

If you know of a catchphrase from any hermit from any season, comment, reblog, send me a an ask or dm, dm me on discord, whatever works the best :D

Note: when I say "catchphrase," I mean anything a hermit repeats over an extended period of time. It can be something said during a single season (like "You'll speak when spoken to!" or "Hermit Challenges!"), or something that spans their entire careers (like "Aww snappers!" or "Plonker"). I'm not looking for one-off quotes that are never bought up again — there's some great sources (like @hermitcraft-correct-quotes) for that already :)

Sources (which will hopefully expand with time): This reddit post from four years ago This other reddit post also from four years ago Reddit from three years ago This cute diagram A more up to date source Another Xisuma's dictionary on his website HC character tv tropes page This incredible google doc

[atinylittlepain]

i need joel x f! reader friends to lovers 😩🫶🏻

i took this and ran with it

Birds of a Feather

joel miller x f!reader

joel masterlist

joel has met his match, and though he's trying to keep things platonic, his brother has other plans for him.

warnings | 18+ smut, drunk tommy miller requires his own warning, angst, and a little fluff

wordcount: 4.1K

................................

Joel Miller has finally met his match, and he knows it. He had balked at it initially, when Tommy assigned him to patrol with some woman. But it wasn’t just some woman. Folks around town call her Sunshine, a running joke since she’s anything but. He didn’t know anyone could be more standoffish than him, but that first shift together, the steel in her stare and the tick of her jaw had thrown any of his ideas about her right out the window. Is it any wonder they became friends so fast?

He doesn’t like to talk much, she doesn’t either.

He has a dry sense of humor, but hers has to be even drier. 

She refuses to suffer fools, and he enjoys watching her put men in their place.

He’s slow to thaw toward people, and so is she, both of them melting in each other’s presence.

Where he’s from Texas, she’s from Tennessee, the remnants of their drawls twining up in easy conversation.

He likes a stiff glass of whiskey at the end of the day, and she’s always game to join him.

But maybe one of the things he likes best is that while he’s good at pool, she’s fucking great at it, and he doesn’t mind getting his ass handed to him on Friday nights at the bar, not when it’s her doing the handing.

“Are you asleep, Miller? Or are you really just that bad at pool?” Her grin flickers under the dim lights of the Tipsy Bison, and he knows that it’s a sight not many people get to see. She cocks her head to the side, spinning her cue stick lightly in her hand as she smirks at him.

“Easy, darlin, gonna make you eat those words one of these days.” She’s not Sunshine, not to him, he refuses to call her what everybody else does. She had confessed to him once, on a long patrol shift, that she hated the nickname, but was too proud to ever say anything about it. In turn, Joel had told her about how growing up, Tommy managed to get everyone at their highschool to start calling him “Skip,” something he hadn’t told anyone in close to thirty years. His residual embarrassment had been worth it to see her smile in that moment, and it was about then that Joel realized he had made a certified friend. Though everyone else seems convinced that something a little more is going on.

“Shit.” He completely scratches his next turn, sending the cue ball right into one of the pockets as she snickers.

“What was that about me eating my words?” He’s distracted, just a little, but who could blame him when she’s wearing a pair of cut-offs that should be illegal and a tank top that turns downright obscene when she leans over the table for her own turn. So maybe there is something a little more going on, but it’s one sided, he reckons, and he’s not about to fuck up the first friendship he’s cared about in years just because he’s thinking with his dick. But, apparently, that’s not the only thing he has to worry about.

“Well, howdy, if it ain’t Jackson’s favorite tag team, frick and frack.” Joel hasn’t seen Tommy this drunk in decades. The town council had been celebrating that night, though he’s not quite sure what. Regardless, Tommy is sloshed as he loops and arm over Joel’s shoulders, a lazy grin on his face as he looks between him and her.

“Joel, Sunshine. How are we this fine evening?” While she snorts at his slurred-out question, Joel is less than amused, shrugging his brother off of him with a huff.

“Touchy, touchy, big brother. What’s got your panties in a twist? Did you break his heart already, Sunshine?” Joel can feel his face blanch at Tommy’s drawling words, glancing between him and her. While she’s still smiling, the crease between her brows suggests she’s as thrown off as Joel is.

“What’re you on about, little Miller?” Tommy lets out a hoot of a laugh at her question, leaning up against the pool table and grinning at her.

“What I’m on about is the sweet little crush this big guy right here has on you. It ain’t healthy, really, Joel’s got it bad for you.” If they weren’t related by blood, Tommy wouldn’t have teeth in his head by now, but instead, Joel settles for letting his jaw all but drop to the floor as he looks between his giggling brother and her. She doesn’t look so amused anymore.

“It’s true! Ain’t seen his eyes get like that in a long time, those big ol’ puppy dogs of his are for you and you only, Sunshine.” Before the horror of it all can really settle in, Tommy sighs, slapping Joel on his shoulder and shuffling off with a low murmured “where’s Maria?”

Her eyes are wide when he finally looks at her, lips parted, complete bewilderment splashed across her face. And before she can say anything, Joel is turning heel and booking it out of there before everything comes crumbling down around him.

…

She’s stunned. By the whole thing really. Tommy’s ridiculous musings, the way that Joel didn’t deny any of it, and then the way he booked it out of the bar like he wanted nothing to do with her. She wouldn’t have guessed in a million years that her night was going to turn out like this. Not that she would tell anyone, but she loves Friday nights, pool nights, when she gets to spend just a little more time with Joel than usual. So for it to turn so sour so fast, she finds herself at a loss, clutching her cue stick in her hands, stuck standing where Joel left her.

There’s no two ways about it, she likes him. Things feel easy around him. She hadn’t met anyone else in town who she could talk to like she can him. He gets it, being on the road, not always having a warm place to sleep, what it means to kill. They’ve both seen a far different life than the one they’re living now, and talking to him makes her feel a little less crazy. And yes, maybe she also likes the strong cut of his jaw, the way his deep brown eyes crinkle up when she talks to him, the broad span of his shoulders, and how he squares them up when she challenges him. You could call it a crush, but she’d call it stupid, something that would only ruin the friendship, the one big good in her life, that she has with him. 

But now all bets are off. She’s got nothing to lose, and she’ll be damned if she doesn’t get the truth from him.

She knows him well enough by now to have a pretty good idea of where he stomped off to, and she doesn’t waste any more time standing around with a dumb look on her face, heading out of the bar and into the hazy light of the summer evening.

There’s a bench tucked away behind the stables, partially hidden by a small thicket of trees. A while ago, they had set it as their meeting place before patrol shifts, always getting there a few minutes early to set a plan for the day, or just to talk quietly before they had to head out. She had caught him there a few times on their days off too, an easy slump in his posture, his arms stretched out over the back of the bench. He told her he liked the quiet of it, and when she attempted to apologize for intruding, he had said that she couldn’t bother him if she even tried. It’s where she finds him now, his elbows on his thighs and his head in his hands, though his eyes jerk up when she clears her throat.

“We gonna talk about what just happened?” He lets out a long sigh, sitting back on the bench and squinting up at her.

“I’d rather not.”

“Oh, c’mon, Joel. You know I’m not gonna let this go, not until you talk to me.” With that, he gets up from the bench with a huff, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Don’t have anything to say, except I’m sorry that my brother is such a fucking idiot.” She calls after him as he trudges away, but it’s no use, he doesn’t so much as look back over his shoulder at her. Knowing him as well as she does, she can easily tell when it’s time to stop prodding, when he’s shutting down and she won’t be able to get anything out of him, so she drops it, at least for now. 

She knows that they’re going to have to face whatever this is eventually, most likely the next morning when they’re set for a patrol shift together. With the hope of a clearer conversation on the horizon, she goes home, her mind still spinning from the strange evening. She lays awake in bed with her thoughts, the only conclusion she reaches being that she just wants the truth now, knowing that there will be no going back to the way things were, regardless of what he has to say.

When she gets to the bench the next morning, eyes bleary from a night without sleep, it becomes clear that Joel is going to make this more difficult than it has to be, as he is nowhere to be found. And he doesn’t show up either, not even when it’s time for their shift and she’s mounting up at the stables. She lets out a bitter laugh, though, when she sees who does show up.

“Did he send you down here?” Tommy huffs, leaning up against the door to the stables with a sheepish grin.

“Would you be less pissed at him if I said he didn’t?” 

“What? He ask for a new patrol partner already?” She knows it sounds harsh, but she doesn’t care, anger starting to feel like the appropriate response for how childish Joel seems to be acting. Tommy just sighs.

“Look, Sunshine, I feel awful for what I said last night. I was so fucking drunk I didn’t know up from down. But it’s true what I said. Reckon he thinks you hung the moon in the sky or some shit.” That makes her pause, but she stifles the kick of her heart with another scoff.

“What’s your point, Tommy? I have a shift to cover.” 

“No you don’t.” 

“Huh?” Tommy lets out a breathy laugh at her furrowed look.

“I’m covering your shift– figure I owe you both for messing shit up so bad. I got a buddy of mine coming down in a few to patrol with me, but you’re off the hook. And I think you oughta go talk to him.” 

“Joel made it pretty clear last night that he didn’t have anything else to say.” Tommy’s frown deepens at her clipped words, and he takes a few steps into the stables, leveling a surprisingly serious look at her.

“My brother is a stubborn ass, I won’t deny that. He doesn’t really like people, or feelings for that matter. But I know him well enough to see that he’s different around you. And maybe it’s selfish of me to say this, but you’re good for him, and I’ll be damned if the only reason you two don’t wind up together is my big fucking mouth.” His words stun her silent long enough for him to step forward and place a hand on her shoulder.

“Just go talk to him, please? If anyone can get through to him it’s you.”

…

He has to admit to himself that he was hoping, just a little bit, that it’d be her knocking on his front door, his chest tightening when he sees that it is. Though she doesn’t seem all too pleased to be looking at him, her arms crossed over her chest and an edgy arch to her brow.

“We gonna talk like adults now? Or are you gonna keep sending little Miller to do your bidding?” He knows this tone of voice. It’s the way she speaks to people, usually men, that she’d rather not give the time of day to. He’s always been amused by it, the stiff jerk of her chin, the eerie calm of her words. But it’s never been directed at him before, and suddenly there’s nothing amusing about it. 

“I– yeah, yes. Let’s talk.” Real smooth, dumbass. She doesn’t wait for him to open the door any wider, brushing right past him and into his living room before turning on her heel to look at him.

“Well, there’s no real way around this, is there?” Her question hangs between them, a drooping thread threatening to snap, though even now, they still move comfortably around each other, sitting down on opposite ends of the couch and mirroring each other’s posture, elbows on thighs, heads tilted toward the other. 

“Where do you wanna start, darlin?” She huffs out a laugh, more like an exasperated sigh as she looks at him, the steel gone, only a quirked worry left in its place.

“The truth– I want you to tell me the truth, Joel– about what Tommy said last night.” He figures he’s got nothing to lose at this point. That either way, whether he’s straight with her or not, their friendship isn’t ever going to be the same, so he takes a deep breath, and lets the words come rushing out. 

“He wasn’t wrong– I mean, what he said? It’s true, I feel– I, uh– I like the way I feel? When I’m around you? And, um– Jesus christ, what I’m trying to say is– I feel very– fondly toward you.” He’d like to disappear now, to dissolve and slip down beneath the floorboards so she’ll stop smiling at him like he just made a complete fool of himself, because he did. 

“You feel fondly toward me, huh?” And now she’s making fun of him, a light laugh on her lips as he grumbles at her question. But she’s quick to catch his despairing spiral, scooting over and placing a hand on his knee. 

“I’m sorry, Joel. I don’t mean to tease. But for the record, the feeling’s mutual.” Oh. He can feel his eyebrows shoot up at her words, and her grin broadens at his reaction.

“You mean– you– what’s that word? You mean platoni–” She’s kissing him. She’s kissing him and his brain is going blank but he doesn’t need to think, not really, moving like he knows, like he’s been waiting for this. She’s as stubborn as he is, and it shows in the way they struggle against each other, pulling on clothes to get closer, teeth clashing just a bit as she slips into his lap, pushing him back against the couch as he drags her as close as he can. When she does pull away, he doesn’t let her go far, his hand holding her steady by the hilt of her neck, breathless and smiling.

“No, I don’t mean platonically. Not at all.” And then she’s kissing him again, and it’s quickly becoming his favorite feeling, though the way her hips are pressed up against his is a close second. Joel is starting to realize that they share a few other things in common as well.

They both have a hard time keeping quiet, his low groans mixing and mingling with the pitchy sighs she looses in between kisses.

And they both seem to want to get impossibly closer, his nose mashing up against the slope of her cheek as she winds her arms over his shoulder blades, holding him chest to chest.

Where he tries to get the upper hand, licking into her mouth, squeezing at the swell of her thighs, she just does the same, tugging at the hair at the nape of his neck to hold him just how she wants him as she ducks down to mouth at the arc of his neck.

Where he demands more, she’s happy to give, and to take in turn.

How they make it up the stairs and into his bedroom is beyond him, greedy hands peeling away clothes on the way up, leaving a trail of desire that they’ll have to trace later. 

She’s strong, just as strong as him, and she likes control, just as much as him, handily flipping them around on the bed so that she’s straddling him once again, leaving him wide-eyed and breathless at the sight of her. He’s got scars, and she does too, their hands running over the silvery marks, prayers that there won’t have to be anymore. Her bare cunt is a hot drag over his pelvis, and he’d like more than anything for her to shift her hips just a little lower, a little closer. But instead she ducks her head down, eyes flickering up to his as she lays a smear of kisses over his chest that begin to trail lower until she’s kneeling between his spread thighs. Joel thinks he just might die as he watches her spit into her hand before wrapping her palm around his throbbing cock, a hiss spilling between his teeth as she deftly sweeps her wrist up, her thumb swiping over his slit to smear the pooling pre-come there down his length.

“S’pretty, Joel. Prettier than I imagined.” He can’t help but groan at her words, scrunching his eyes shut and pressing his head back into the sheets.

“You– fuck– you thought about this, darlin? About me?” She smiles at his question, her lips just grazing the underside of him.

“Mmhmm, thought about you a lot. About this. We’re so alike, you and I. I couldn’t help but think that if anyone would be able to handle me, it’d be you.” And with that, she licks a salacious stripe up his length before taking him into the heat of her mouth.

“Christ– I  can– can handle you, darlin. Handle you however you want me to– fuck, that mouth of yours is a dream.” She hums at his praise, the vibration shooting straight down his cock as she bobs her head. It’s messy as hell, the slick sound of spit, her palm pressed flat against his stomach to hold him still, the drag of her tongue along his length, and the way her eyes stay on him, hooded and hazy under her lashes. 

“Thought about you too, y’know, like-like this.” His words make her stop for a moment, pulling off of him with a sigh, her hand picking up where she left off.

“And? Am I living up to your expectations?” Her words are lilted by her grin, and the sight of her lazily stroking his cock, her head tilted as she looks at him is nearly too obscene to be real.

“S’better– you’re so much better– fucking perfect.” It’s like he realizes all of a sudden how bad he wants to touch her, and then it’s all he wants, all he needs, coaxing her back up to meet in a kiss before rolling them over, swallowing the peel of laughter she lets out as he hovers over her. 

He wants to be the only one who gets her like this, the only one to hear her sighs, soft and melty in his sheets, sweet only for him as he swipes his fingers through her folds, dragging her pooling slick up to draw circles over her clit.

“So wet for me, darlin. S’just for me, huh?” Her chin jerks in a nod, whatever control she had now held in his hands, her hips canting up into his palm. 

“Just for you, Joel. All for you– please.” She doesn’t have to say anymore, he knows what she wants because it’s what he wants too. More. He presses two fingers inside of her, unable to stifle the groan he lets out at the feel of her cunt clenching around him, muffling the sound with a drag of kisses across her chest. She keens up into his touch, back arching when he takes one of her nipples into his mouth, tongue laving over the peak before letting his teeth just barely graze the delicate skin. And he learns her, all of her, the dips and swells of her body, the spot he can press against inside her that makes her brow crumple, the scrape of her nails down his back, the little whimpers she tries to silence, biting down on her lip, the way she tightens around his fingers when she’s close, and the broken sound of his name on her lips when she finally unravels for him, panting and twisting in pleasure. 

“That’s it, darlin. Feels good, huh? I did good for you?” Maybe it’s a little selfish, what he asks, but she’s happy to answer anyways.

“So good– did so good for me, Joel. Fuck, I really want you, baby.” He can feel the heat flushing up his face at her words, his mind going dizzy with the praise, and all he can do is give her what she wants, slotting his hips against hers and notching his leaking tip at her entrance. 

It’s unreal, it’s gotta be, the way she spreads open around him, close and pliant, her knee hitched up along his waist as he presses into her, both of them sighing at the stretch. For a moment, they’re still, just feeling each other, pressed so close, sweat-damp skin sticking from the contact, choppy exhales cooling down their shared heat. And then, Joel learns that they have something else in common. They both like their pleasure with just a tinge of pain.

It starts slow, the rock of his hips into hers, but she makes it clear with the press of her heel into his low back and her hand tugging in his hair that slow is the last thing she wants, and Joel is more than happy to oblige. The thump of the headboard against the wall, the slap of skin, harsh grunts and crackling moans twine around them, wrapping them up in a desperate symphony with each harsh grind of his hips against hers. 

He wants to leave marks, wants her to remember this when she runs her hands over the bruises he leaves, a purple and blue mosaic of where he touched her, where he wanted her most. And she seems intent on the same goal, nails scratching down his shuddering back, pulling him closer so she can mouth at his neck, her teeth nipping just a touch unkindly, making his eyes roll back from the sharp suggestion of pain. 

“Fuck, darlin– made just for me, huh? So good like this– wanna feel you like this– want you to gimme another one. Be so good for me, honey, c’mon.” 

…

All she wants is him. The hot drag of his cock inside her, his hips mashing up against hers, the heavy grip of his hand cupping her ass, pulling her hips up to meet his. His scruff, scraping against her chest, lips a smudge against her skin, each grunt a vibration that runs through her bones. The way he keeps her head from hitting the headboard with his forearm protectively curled there, holding himself up just enough to move his hips against hers, to look at her when she comes for a second time, spasming around him.

She feels like liquid beneath him, undone by pleasure, only vaguely aware of the breathy chant of please, please leaving her lips with each exhale. But he knows what she’s asking for, and Joel gives it to her, pulling out with a groan, his spend smearing across her heaving stomach as he pants over her. He flops down onto his stomach next to her with a sigh, one arm slung heavy over her waist, turned on his cheek to look at her. 

“Get you cleaned up in a minute– just need to not move right now– shit.” She has to laugh at his breathless exclamation, catching the crook of his grin out of the corner of her eye before turning onto her side to get a better look at him. Hair wild, sticking up all which ways, and cheeks flushed under his altogether boyish smile, she can’t help but lean in for a kiss that he gives up willingly to her. 

“Remind me again why we waited so long to do that?” That makes him laugh, squeezing her hip to pull her closer as he turns onto his side

“Because I was an idiot.” She hums at his answer, brushing his hair back out of his face before letting her palm settle along his scruff.

“It takes two, we were both idiots.” 

“Some pair we make, huh, darlin?” 

Some pair indeed.

[tammyu-2]

I LOVED UR LAST ONE how about 2012 donnie introducing his gf to everyone for the first time how would that go

OOOOO okay so I'm gonna do a different way Donnie and you meet if that's cool?

TMNT 2012 DONNIE INTRODUCING YOU TO HIS FAMILY

Mentions of Y/n, feminine labels, usage of she/her pronouns, some swearing, not proofread.

I adore his face in this gif

You had met Donnie at the dump. That's right, I said it. He was trying to find more parts for his machinery, and you had lost a precious family heirloom. So after misunderstandings and someone almost getting tazed (Donnie), you guys talked things out. After that, you met again when he was in battle. He insisted on you guys actually properly hung out.

So after one hang out became two and two became three. Soon, hangouts became dates, and soon, you guys were two peas in a metaphorical pod. The way he asked you is by trying to show you a project in disguised as him asking you out. Of course, the turtles didn't know, so he did it at an abandoned garage that he found was close by. (He later on used it for any projects he didn't want his brothers ruining.

"Watch closely my dear assistant!"

"Uh Don? Is it supposed to be letting Grey steam out?"

"I assure you I know what I'm doing."

"But the vial is shaking-"

"Trust in me!"

You know, in cartoons, when stuff blows up, leaving the black gunk on everything but the safety glasses? Yeah, that's what happened. He then explained what it was meant to do, and you were flattered at his attempt and accepted his proposal.

Now, his brothers had no idea that you existed other than the time you were a hostage for the kraang one time. But they really didn't bat an eye on how you already knew Donnie's name cause they were too busy saving you and the others. Plus, they were suspicious when Donnie's obsession with April suddenly stopped.

"Yo Dontron what's wrong with you? You didn't even bat an eye at April today!"

"I have no idea what you are talking about. I did blink several times like normal."

"He is saying that you didn't go all goo-goo eyes for her."

"Oh! Yeah, no, I have a girlfriend now."

"Ha! Nice joke. What nation is she from? Your imagination?"

"I'm serious."

"Sure you are."

So he brought you around to show that he indeed was serious. You would be lying if you weren't a little scared to meet his family. I mean, what if they like to banish you from ever meeting Donnie again because you coughed wrongly in their house or something???

Though Donnie assured you that their opinion doesn't matter to him. Not really easing your spirits, though, because he still didn't clarify that you shouldn't be afraid of MEETING them. More or less that he didn't care if they did disapprove.

"Everybody! This is my absolutely wonderful girlfriend Y/n. I thought you guys would want to meet her."

You politely waved at them with a gentle smile.

"How much is he paying you? Cause we don't have money at all, he's scaming you."

"Are you like a robot or something? I don't see your wires."

"So are you being held hostage if so blink twice."

"GUYS WHAT THE FRICK!?"

Fr tho- guys have faith in your brother that he has some game

Donnie quickly goes to apologize to you only to see you absolutely losing your shit and failing to hold in your laughter. After a few moments you gather yourself and clarify that you are Donnie's human girlfriend by choice.

"Are we talking about the same Donnie right now?"

"I'm right here!"

They are all too confused to say that they approve.

"How did Donnie pull you?"

You try not to laugh as you explained how you met him.

"What do you mean you met him at a waste disposal???"

Trust that they are secretly making notes to compare later because they have no faith in Donnie boy at all.

After all the commotion Master Splinter had entered. And Donnie was quick to introduce you to him. Donnie is basically bouncing on his feet.

"Hello sensei! This is my lovely girlfriend Y/n. Y/n this is my father I was talking about."

Splinter mumbles a simple greeting and bow his head while you copy his actions showing respect for him. Splinter is a man that sees to believe so he doesn't really say anything remarkable or worth noted on your first meeting. More or less that he hopes Donnie is treating you right. But after a while of getting to know you he likes you.

"She's a good one, son. Treat her well."

"There's no doubt in my mind that I won't sensei."

The turtles are okay with you and so is Splinter. They love when you bring pizza around though for them.

"You sure you're here against your will?"

"Mikey!!"

That's it lovelies. That's my new nickname for you guys hope you like it

I loved this it was so cutesy

BAI ;*

~Tammy<3

[depraved-love]

Halloween Special

Alright pulling an allnighter to finish this but frick that. For once i'm actually writting it with more fem!darling focus so warning of that ahead. Welp enjoy your horny OBT inspired yandere lady.

Yandere Fem Spider Hybrid X Caretaker Darling

TW: monster-fucking, dubcon, sadism, masochism, bondage, Hematolagnia

Her life wasn't much before those monsters dragged her from her burrow. But that doesn’t matter—she hates it here. The glass walls feel suffocating, the environment is fake, the food disgusting, though not as disgusting as those faces behind the glass. Tapping the glass, yelling, making faces... she hates it. And so here she is, cocooning her meal just so she doesn’t fall out of practice when the door creaks open. She gets up, ready to bite, just like the last time a "handler" tried to "look after her." A new face enters, carefully, and smiles. It looks so weak, there’s no way it’s a threat, so she just backs down and hisses. "Hehe, feisty, are you...? And pretty big... I’ll just drop off a little treat." Is it talking to her? Well, that’s new. It places something in her usual feeding spot. Again, unusual—they don’t feed her so often. It then walks away and waves. She waits a bit before coming closer to the offering. And it moves. All rationality is gone then; she just bites. She missed the hunt. It’s a pretty plump chicken, and she’s more than excited for such a treat and quickly takes it to her hide. If this face comes back with more treats like this, she might actually like them.

Another day, she’s trying to shut out the world when she hears more yelling outside the glass wall and frowns. A group of little monsters is right up against the glass, and she hisses at their antics. Then the face from before shows up. "Hey! Leave the hybrid alone! Can’t you read the signs?" The scolded younger ones grumble and back away slightly, at which point the face steps in front of them. "You can just read the sign and see this beauty isn’t too active." The little ones, angry at being stopped, turn their taunting and bothering toward the face, who does their best to tolerate them. Some sympathy awakens in her, maybe just a bit of gratitude and mischief, and she decides to "help." She walks right up against the glass, placing her hands and two of her feet right against the wall before properly showing off her fangs, almost as long as her whole head. The younger monsters quickly scatter with yelps. The face from before turns around and chuckles. "My my... I might just have to send the troublesome ones to you more often, girly." She doesn’t understand their gibberish, but that tone suggests a compliment—and maybe some live treats later.

She got used to them eventually. They were much better company than her previous handlers and brought treats, so she had zero reason to actively dislike them. Actually, she’s been liking them more and more, even letting them come right up to her hide. And so one day the face comes in with a treat and another thing... it looked almost like a hedgehog. "Hey, beauty... want a treat?" Of course she comes right up and takes the treat. Young turkey this time—neat. As she pumps it full of her venom, she feels the face touch her. She freezes. The face brings the strange object up to her head and starts running it through her hair. "Alright... no biting, got it, girly..." She stays still, feeling fury building up, and then the object pulls a strand of her hair. The next second, she has the face under her, biting their hand and giving them a warning dose of venom, expecting the usual yell of pain. Guards pull her off the handler as she hisses, quickly retreating to her hide. As the guards carry the caretaker out, she listens to see how much venom she actually gave them, but instead of yelling, she hears moans. Well, this is going to be something.

Two weeks later, the person is back... as if nothing happened. Their hand is bandaged up due to the sheer size of her fangs, but that’s it. They keep a bigger distance, but the compliments haven’t subsided. Why in the world are they here? "Hey, pretty... Don’t worry, no touching today..." She comes closer... They don’t back away. Have they always been so red when they were near her? And were they always so tiny? They always call her pretty or beautiful, but this time she REALLY likes them. "...pretty..."

She spent a few nights thinking of what the hell had been happening with them. And why the hell does she want them to touch her! And she lands on it—they must be courting her! These monsters are so damn weird, and this must be some sort of ritual. They have been keeping their distance since she "rejected" them, probably afraid of getting killed. Gods, she’s so dense! And so, the next time she sees them, she decides to try it for herself. While they’re filling her feeding spot, she creeps up behind them and runs her fingers through their much shorter hair. This time they freeze but don’t pull away, so she continues. She’s never noticed just how specific their scent is... it’s lovely. While her hands work on their hair, her other limbs start touching the rest of their body. The monsters outside the wall are speechless, and she does not want them seeing this anymore. If they’re to be her mate, she wants to mate the way her kind would and without spectators. Without too much struggle, she drags them to her hide and starts spinning a decorative cocoon around them. They’ll be so pretty in her webs. She’s about to bite them again when the guards finally reach the enclosure and separate them. She hisses and panics. Why are they messing with their mating?! They drag her out of the enclosure and towards the back. She sees her person, shaking and talking to a director while they help them get her webs off.

She’s pacing in the small holding cell, furious. The guards messed it all up! That’s her darling! Her mate! Who are they to separate them! This won’t fly! No, no, no, no, no! She’s getting out tonight. She’s taking her darling. And she’s mating them—that’s final.

Getting out wasn’t too hard, to her own surprise. A few bites did the job, and their darling’s scent was still fresh. She followed the scent down the streets of the city, surrounded by those monsters... they’re masked, though. They’re dressed in strange skins and leaves, pretending to be something different. She blends right in.

She finds them days later in a run-down complex. They’re in the shower, scrubbing themselves clean... They must be trying to get foreign scents off. What a good mate.

They regain consciousness in... a burrow? They’re wrapped up in silk with their mouth covered... and there, a 7'10" spider hybrid looms above them, her fangs grazing their neck. "...beautiful..." They try to struggle but fail. She sinks her fangs in, and the agony fills their veins. They cry and moan into the silk covering their mouth. Words are long gone from their brain. She grins and licks up the delicious liquid gold running from the wounds. "...beautiful..." She pulls them up by the silk and attaches it to the roof of her burrow, watching them writhe. She quickly rips off those skins they wear over their pretty body. They don’t have markings like her, nor nearly the same amount of hair... they look so innocent this way. She starts nibbling on their body, looking for sensitive spots, and whenever she finds one, she gives it a small dose of venom, loving the cries coming from her darling. Eventually, she finds herself between her darling’s legs, hands holding their thighs apart, two of her legs holding their hips, and all eight of her eyes fixated on her darling’s perfection. Human genitals are foreign to her, so she starts with slight licks and nibbles. Upon seeing the reaction, she clumsily adds more stimuli. Any time a bit of her venom slips, her darling cries and thrashes, only adding to their beauty. Her long tongue makes its way inside them, and they arch their back. She grins, realizing she’s finally found the right place. She starts tasting and devouring them like a five-course meal. Any time they tighten, she gives them a dose of her venom just to see the reaction. The closer they come to what she presumes to be climax, the more desperate their fight becomes until they finally come undone on her face. She laps up all of their essence and then lowers them down. They’re so perfect... She removes the silk covering their mouth, and they smile. Their eyes are glazed over with pleasure and love.

"...pretty..." "...beautiful..."

[mycuriousmind18]

Joy's Design remains the same, but her Redesign is more vibrant and much better shade and color, and more expressive

Sadness's Design remains the same, but her Redesign also more vibrant, more glowing, more expressive, her glasses are more shiny, and she has blush shown

Fear's Design remains the same, but his Redesign is also more vibrant amethyst purple than smokey purple on his eyes, less dots and more brightly colored on his nerve-ending, his brows are purple to match his nerve-ending, the pattern of his sweater vest is more accurate, his pants are more smooth and fabricated, AND HIS FRICKING CROTCH IS SHOWN?!

Disgust's Design remains the sam, but her Redesign is more vibrant emerald green than jade green, more glowing, a little extra thick on her body type, her head is not flat anymore, and her bangs are more accurate

And Anger's Design remains the same, but his Redesign is also vibrant and glowing, more expressive, his eyes are more bloody red than ever, his tie is more accurate and more vibrant, his belt is now black to match his now smooth leathered black shoes, his collar is thick and his pants are now smooth and fabricated

[rainbowxspooky]

💜🕸kafka x reader🎻💜

*̩̩͙‧͙*˚⁺‧͙ㅤ ওㅤㅤֺㅤ ⠀⠀✧ ⠀ ㅤֺㅤ ওㅤ ㅤ*̩̩͙‧͙*˚⁺‧͙

[credits to @xoxoive for the header!!! If u like what u see, maybe check her out? :3 anyyywhoooo yep! I'm back at it with some more hcs, i believe i got a request but tumblr WAS BEING A B#### and wouldn't let me see the request.☺️ so to the person that requested, i hope ur seeing this! And to tumblr...fix ur site (=_=) but enough chat! Let's get to the headcannons!]

*̩̩͙‧͙*˚⁺‧͙ㅤ ওㅤㅤֺㅤ ⠀⠀✧ ⠀ ㅤֺㅤ ওㅤ ㅤ*̩̩͙‧͙*˚⁺‧͙

°you're not sure how you and kafka got together...

°maybe it was because of her style...or how she could kill you at any moment?

°Hmm...🧐 maybe it was because of how gentle she is with you?..

°or maybe it's because despite kafka being a stellaron hunter...you still liked her for her.

°dawwww, look at you!! landing a shot with one of the most prettiest woman in hsr. [I'm almost jealous😏]

°let's start things off and say that...YOU'RE DATING A FUCKING DUCKING WANTED CRIMINAL-

°so expect you and kafka to move around a lot when you first start dating.

°speaking of dating...dates!

°dates between you and kafka can vary from the classic fancy resturant dates to running from the fricking law dates!

°or if that's not your fancy, you and kafka could enjoy each others company over a glass of wine.

°maybe she'd even play a song on the violin for you!

°however, you and kafka mainly do shopping dates, looking for cute accessories or that velvet coat that kafka thinks would look ✨️STUNNING✨️ on you.

°god- don't even get kafka STARTED on you in those lovely coats she loves 💜oh so much!💜

°oh whats that? you found something that caught your eye during one of your shopping trips? kafka will gladly pay for it.

°what's that?..it's too expensive?! oh hush, don't worry...kafka's got you covered.😉 (just don't ask her where the money came from)

°ok...pda...

°kafka doesn't mind pda, hand holding, arm around the shoulder...you name it!

°as long as kafka's with you, she's happy with whatever.

°believe or not, kafka is the "yapper" out of you two.

°sometimes kafka likes to ramble about coats, violins, the concept of fear .

°...ignoring that last part-

°basically if you lend kafka an ear, she'd appreciate it very much! ^v^

°idk why but I feel like kafka would use her "spirit whisper" on you.

°no reason in particular. (she just finds it's funny :3)

°since kafka is a setllaron hunter, she probably wouldn't be around much whenever she's on missions.

°there's a low chance she would let you go, it's too dangerous and she doesn't want to lose her darling reader.

°maybe if you can actually handle yourself, she'd consider it...

°however, (even if you're far apart) this doesn't stop her from calling in and checking up on her dear to see if she's okay.

°oh yea, kafka's petnames for you are dear, darling, and my widow~

°maybe that last one is because of her spider motifs but you'll never know for sure.🤷‍♀️

°overall, despite being on the run and having a sorta long distance relationship...you and kafka are very happy to have each other!

°who knows! maybe when you guys are off the run you can get married someday! ☺️💭💒

°but until then...you'll just have to run off with kafka after "accidentally" running into the IPC...or the zianzhou. ('-_-)

[icycoldninja]

Can u write the DMC boys accidentally come across the reader’s diary? Curious, they flip open the pages finding random sketches of her daily life: Trish picking her nail, Vergil polishing his Yamato, Lady chatting up with Nico; etc with little comments like

‘Lady looks the coolest with glasses’

‘I wonder what brand Trish got her corset from. It really accentuate her figures so well!’

‘Dante and Vergil fought again. It would be amusing had it not been for the fact that a tree collapsed because of them’

They thought of detailed the sketches are, quietly admiring it before coming across the middle of the diary, which was full of their drawings and her random thoughts being written inside:

‘He looks so cool with his jacket. Can I be equally as cool as him?’

‘They said that men look the most attractive when concentrating on something. At first I didn’t get it, now I fully understand the hype’

‘I saw his biceps the other day. Sometimes I don’t know if I want to be him or have him’

It was quite endearing before the boys come across the “less appropriate” section of the diary, including the comments and her sketches of them:

‘I took a good look of his side profile the other day. I wonder what it’s like to ride his nose. The bump on his nose would be the cherry on top *aggressive lip biting*’

‘His hands are so big…sometimes I wonder if it would fit down there without me screaming’

‘I’m supposed to be better than this, now that I found out his devil trigger is rather bewitching to say the least. It’s risky but at the same time worth it to find out what kind of impalement I can die from’

‘I want to lick his happy trail ngl’

‘Every time he gets mad, I can’t help but scream without the s’

You asked; I shall faithfully deliver.

Sparda boys + V Reading Reader's diary headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-You made the mistake of leaving your precious diary out while Dante was in the vicinity, and this man POUNCED on the opportunity.

-He started flipping through your diary, finding all these sketches of your daily life, as well as some silly little comments.

-It was all heartfelt and wholesome at first. Dante thought you were a really good artist and couldn't help but giggle a little at how much you seemed to admire him and Vergil. (Him more.)

-Then he came across the section that shall be henceforth known as The Cursed Pages.

-Jesus Fricking Christ, this was a whole new level of horny. There were hundreds, if not thousands of sketches of himself as well as the others crammed into every corner of the paper, surrounded by comments that you'd made, most of them horny ones.

-Dante didn't want to read any further. He shut the book, put it back, and tried to pretend he never saw anything. Sure, he was flattered to be your muse and all that, but he never knew you felt...that way.

■ Vergil ■

-Vergil is normally not very nosy, but seeing you leave your diary on the table, then walk away snickering had him very curious.

-Against his better judgement, he began flipping through the various entries there, smiling as he read what was basically your daily life in manga form. You were a good artist, he'd give you that.

-Then he came across The Cursed Pages. Oh God.

-Vergil understands diaries are where one is supposed to be able to openly describe one's fantasies, and he had no problem with that, but when nearly all your fantasies are about him, he can't help but feel a little worried. And a little flattered. And a little hot.

-You've made several....interesting comments about his body, and other parts of him, and honestly, it sounds like you're head over heels for him--obsessed, even.

-Well, at least Vergil can use this information as reassurance that if he ever confesses to you someday, you probably won't reject him.

□ Nero □

-Nero is not known to be nosy, but when you, his long-time crush, left your diary out around him, he decided to break character.

-He knew he shouldn't have, but he decided to forgo his principles and snoop.

-Needless to say, he found some Pretty interesting stuff, from little sketches of your daily life, little chibi drawings of V and his pets, and tiny comments that seemed to come straight from your heart.

-It was all so sweet, he thought, until he saw The Cursed Pages. Then all the warm bubbles he had floating around in his stomach popped immediately. What the hell kind of mind did you have that made you create such perverted drawings?!

-After a little while, Nero's initial shock faded and he realized that you were actually pretty talented and your horny remarks ended up making him horny.

-He had to put your diary down before he got too hot and bothered because if he got to that point, there'd be no returning.

● V ●

-V isn't one to snoop, especially through your things, but your diary was so tempting, he couldn't resist.

-So, he took a peek when you left the room, finding some nice sketches and funny little comments.

-He didn't expect to find much else in there, but as he continued to flip through the pages of your diary, he found entries that were getting more and more personal by the minute.

-This led him to The Cursed Pages, where you practically vented all your sexual desires and more.

-V was disgusted, flattered, shocked, and a little ashamed for having gone this far. It was nice that you liked him in that way, but...did you have to be so...dirty minded?

-V eventually chalked it down to the natural obsession that comes with love and quickly returned your diary to its place before resuming whatever it was he was doing earlier, pretending all this had never happened.

[rarepairdumpster]

Firelight Viktor AU Part 2

Part 1

Pairing: Viktor/Silco (Arcane) Rating: M C/W: Negotiation, Exposition, Singed Mention, No one uses a front door

Its almost a week before Viktor finds himself scouting The Last Drop, eventually finding the safest time to sneak into Silco's office. 

Silco still knows as soon as he walks in.

"Hello, Viktor," Silco says, not even looking up from his papers when he shuts the door behind him.

Viktor's sharp eyes spots fricking ledgers.

"You do your own books," Viktor blurts, surprised.

"Of course I do," Silco raises an eyebrow. "Are you interested in becoming my accountant?"

Viktor's brows shoot up. "I am far too overqualified for that kind of work, so....no."

Silco chuckles. "I agree." 

He walks over behind his desk, setting his papers down before he cuts a cigar and lights it. Silco watches Viktor as he takes a drag, then exhales slowly. 

"Now then, have you had some time to think about what I said?"

"If Shimmer is intended as a medicine," Viktor says carefully,  "is there an effort being made to reduce the unpleasant side-effects? The...the mutations? Could I help make it safer?"

The corner of Silco's mouth turns up. "There are derivatives being created and tested. Progress is slow, though." Silco explains. "I currently only have one scientist, after all."

Viktor takes a moment to digest that and then he asks, "And if I could find more?"

Silco scowls immediately. "I don't want Jayce Talis anywhere near our medicine." 

"I didn't mean him," Viktor huffs, rolling his eyes. "He wouldn't understand. I know that. His friend is an enforcer, for fucks sake."

Silco narrows his eyes. "I'd need to vet them. And not a word to Ekko."

Viktor huffs. "I'm going to regret this quickly if you keep acting like I was born yesterday."

"I've been burned before," Silco reminds him. But his features do relax somewhat.

"So have I," Viktor replies, reminding himself of why he stopped working with Jayce so closely. Viktor comes closer to the desk and grabs Silco's pen and a blank sheet of paper.

"These are all current students," Viktor said as he leaned against the desk and wrote quickly, "or graduates from the last ten years or so. All Zaunite. All with anti-Piltover sentiment. As assistant to the Dean, I had a lot of access to certain information that would be kept quiet. You didn't get these from me."

Silco watched as Viktor wrote, letting his eyes glide along his lean form. He could allow himself a little indulgence from time to time. 

"And what do you want for this?" Silco asked when Viktor was done. 

Viktor shook his head. "Consider it a show of good faith."

Viktor thinks about his mother, about the years with her he lost, all because medicine was a privilege they couldn't afford.

He doesn't want anyone else to die from preventable illnesses

Silco raises an eyebrow, then nods with a smile. "I see us doing great things together, Viktor. Great things for all of Zaun."

Viktor doesn't answer. Just turns and leaves as quick as he can. 

But Silco's eye is burned into his mind.

Viktor's list proved to be more useful than Silco expected. Since it had been a few years since Viktor had been at the academy, some of the names had been expelled, mostly for reasons that were questionable at best. When approached, they seemed more than eager to continue their work or be a part of something that was making Zaun a better place.

One of the names works with Viktor and Talis at Hextech.

He doesn't approach that one.

Best not to, really.

Meanwhile, Viktor is having wet dreams about Silco, about the man pinning him down again and trailing the barrel of Viktor's own pistol over his lips. Threatening to stun him and have his way.

Viktor doesn't see Silco or hear from him for several weeks until he appears in Viktor's apartment again. He had a long day in the lab arguing with Jayce and honestly he would just like a bath and a glass of wine but there's Silco, sitting on his couch.

"Silco," Viktor breathes.

"Your information was valuable," Silco says, crossing his legs. "I have the interest of several you mentioned."

"That's...good." Viktor rubs at his temple, feeling a headache threatening him. "You could've sent warning you were coming. I had plans."

"Ah," Silco stands and smirks. "I assumed our normal method of sneaking into each other's personal spaces was the standard."

"I didn't sneak," Viktor scoffs. "You gave me permission to come."

"I have a front door," Silco replied, causing Viktor to flush a little. 

"Besides, I think I enjoy catching you off your guard." He walks closer to Viktor and smirks.  "It's endearing."

"Well, I find you infuriating," Viktor retorts. He doesn't mean to take a step backwards, but it's what happens, and his back bumps against his living room door. 

"I tend to have that effect."

"Is that all?" Viktor huffs. "Because I would like to return to my plans."

"No, I'm afraid," Silco lightly takes hold of Viktor's arm, gently guiding him to sit on the couch. "I'd like to discuss your position in my organization."

Viktor's brain goes on autopilot when Silco touches him, but returns when he hears what the man said. "I didn't agree to join your organization."

"I believe the words were can I help," Silco points out, amused. "That sounded like a job application to me. And after all, those names you gave me were just a show of good faith."

Viktor looks away. He shouldn't have said that. He was still emotional from what Silco had told him. It did fill a lot of holes in Ekko's story though, and every time he tried to bring something up, either he or Scar would shut Viktor down. 

"I'll hear you out," Viktor sighed. "But you have to pour the wine." He pointed to the icebox "In there."

"Yes, Sir," Silco answers mockingly, but he does move to retrieve the wine as asked. And two glasses.

Viktor flushes a little at Silco's mocking. He didn't mean to order the baron around. It had just been such a day.

Silco came back from the kitchen with two full wine glasses, and handed one to Viktor before he sat down next to him. 

"Now then," Silco clears his throat. "First, I can't have you working here in Piltover anymore."

Viktor scowls and bites out, "And lose access to that incredible lab, those materials? I don't fucking think so."

Silco smirks a bit at Viktor's passion and takes a drink before his next words. "I'm afraid you don't understand. You're compromised." 

"I am not," Viktor scoffs. "I think Ekko would have said something." 

"How do you think I found you?"

"You have Chief Marcus in your pocket. You could find anyone."

"Marcus and most of Piltover are dull enough to have not caught on, but that stunner," Silco tilted his head and smiled. "The only thing keeping you out of Stillwater right now is that they underestimate you."

Viktor tightens his hand around his glass of wine. "And because you know how to keep a secret."

"And I will continue to," Silco assures him. "However, I can only protect you down there. My reach is limited topside."

"I have a life here," Viktor said quietly, troubled. "Friends. People I care about. A job that most would kill for. People would ask questions, if I left. Who'd willingly return to live in the undercity, after all."

Viktor says that last part like it hurts to say, like it makes him queasy, but he knows it's what Piltovans would ask.

Silco takes a look around at the small, one bedroom apartment that Viktor's life was in. As for "friends", he thought Viktor knew better than to think Pilties would want anything to do with a sump rat that didn't benefit them. He wanted to tell Viktor that he could give him so much more, but it was clear that now wasn't the time. 

"Fine," Silco finally relented. "You can stay, but I'll be having you watched. For safety."

"You don't need to be concerned about my loyalty."

"It's your safety that has my concern," Silco corrects.

"Why?"

"Because you're incredible," Silco answers simply. "Because of the ingenuity of your pistol. Because of your seldom-mentioned contributions to Hextech. And because you love our city--perhaps as much as I do."

Viktor's breath catches in his chest. Silco called him incredible. Even when he and Jayce were doing their best work, it was their experiments that were incredible. Never him.

"I hope that's true," Viktor says before taking a drink. 

"Also, you'll need to meet with the Doctor as soon as possible," Silco continues, pulling a small journal out of his inner coat pocket. "He said this would contain all you need to know about shimmer and what derivatives he's working on."

Viktor takes the journal. Flicks through a few pages as a he takes another drink. And then he swallows roughly, almost choking, as he recognises the chicken scratch.

Takes a closer look to be certain.

Viktor looks at Silco, frowning, severe. "You work with Doctor Reveck?"

Silco raises his eyebrows. "I suppose I never really asked his last name. I assumed he didn't have one."

"Dangerous assumption for one so careful." Viktor snaps the journal shut. "That man's a Piltie. A disgraced one, but still. He used to work directly with Heimerdinger."

Viktor looks at Silco. "Whatever that man is doing, he has his own agenda, and he'll screw you over to get it."

"I'm afraid he's also the only one who knows how to produce and control shimmer," Silco sighed and gestured to his eye. "Until someone else takes over his work, I'm indebted to him."

Viktor purses his lips. Drums his fingers over the journal. Thinks for a long moment. "Fine. I'll meet with him. If only to find out what he's really doing."

"Good," Silco nodded. Viktor didn't need to know that him replacing Reveck was Silco's plan all along. He knew the doctor's history of course. The fact was, he was a necessary evil until Viktor came along.

"I have one more request," Silco asked, taking a drink.

Viktor sighs. "What now?"

"Allow me to take you to dinner on a night you have free."

Viktor is glad the wine glass was only to his lips because he's sure he would have choked. "I'm sorry?"

"Dinner," Silco repeats. "If we're going to work together, I'd like to learn more about you."

"And dinner is required for that?" Viktor's brows shoot upwards, and for a moment, the memory of his wet dreams push to the surface. He very determinedly doesn't blush. "No, you have another agenda."

Silco chuckles as he leans forward into Viktor's spaces and sets his empty glass on the end table next to him. 

"I'm afraid my other agenda as you call it," Silco pulls back a bit, stopping when he's close to Viktor's ear, "is much more personal." 

Silco leans back, then stands, adjusting his vest and coat. "I'll send a safe courier in the morning to receive your schedule so such things can be planned."

"Such things," Viktor mutters, miffed. Silco acts like his personal agenda is a foregone conclusion, the smug bastard. 

The arrogance of powerful men was the same, no matter what side of the bridge they stood on.

Silco notices that he ruffled Viktor's feathers a bit, but he doesn't have time to deal with the fact that he happened to catch him on a bad day. 

Silco turns to leave and sighs before looking back at Viktor.

"We will make a difference, Viktor," Silco reminds him. "If you trust nothing else that I say, trust in that."

That's what Jayce promised me, Viktor thinks, but doesn't voice, and then he stabbed me in the back in front of a full auditorium.

Part 3

Arch + Woods

[greattigerssimp]

Hi! I see you like my stupid Punch Out x Disney Princess idea. Maybe some headcanons if they went out for Halloween as the Disney princesses (I know Halloween is over but still 😭)

idk really stupid idea but I blame my brain lol

It's not stupid at all! Girl boss Disney princess boxers coming right up ^^

Little Mac 🟢🥊

- Went as Vanellope

- Doc Louis went as Ralph and Peter Punch went as Felix

- Highly protested against putting candies in his hair

- Kept the hoodie after Halloween, but otherwise didn't care for the costume

- Terrible at the voice

- Watched the movie for authenticity, later bullied Joe for being cut from the film

Glass Joe 🇫🇷 🥐

- Absolutely adorableeee. Bro got lots of candy for being so bonita

- He actually loooves Beauty and the Beast! It's classic French literature, after all, and he's a sucker for adorable literary works like that.

- Also relates to Belle a lot, mainly for her love of reading

- Gets giddy every time he watches the movie or the Broadway version

- Kinda snobby about it though, like he's all like "erm actually the Broadway version is the one I prefer" like sis no one cares, shush and continue being adorable

- If Gabby was alive in this AU, he'd dress up as Gaston. He admires him in a not-straight way lmao

- Obviously kept the dress

Von Kaiser 🇧🇪 🔩

- Wanted to go as Snow White or Rapunzel since he's familiar with them (his mom would read those fairy tales to him as a kid), but since he was the last boxer to choose who to go as, he got stuck with Anna

- Watched the film alongside Soda, and he didn't care for it (that was mainly bc of Soda singing along to each song)

- Sweating BUCKETS during trick or treating since Anna's outfit is quite warm

- Chaffed... a lot.

- Did not keep the costume, even after Joe's compliments.

Disco Kid 🇺🇲 🕺

- Was happy to go as Rapunzel, until he realized what a hassle the long hair would be

- Also hard to get groovy bc of the hair

- Has the entire films soundtrack on a playlist

- Made a remix of "I see the light" after he was done trick or treating

- Kept the dress, but gave it to April (his lil sister in my AU) after Halloween. She definitely dressed up as Flynn to match with Disco Kid that night

King Hippo 🏝 🦛

- Bonita af

- Watched the film, and got obsessed with it... the lush, tropical environments reminded him of home, which is rare since Hippo doesn't remember a lot about Hippo island

- Y'all should've seen him watching the film for the first time; he can't talk, but during the songs bro was low-key stimming- like, bouncing a bit in place, humming along, that sorta thing. Dude was in his element

- Joined Macho Man at the local beach for a Halloween swim

- Sadly lost his outfit in the ocean. Cried for 3 hours

Piston Hondo 🇯🇵🥊

- Dresses up as Mulan

- Thought the film was nice, but would much rather wear Mulan's armor than a dress she barely wore

- Heike dressed up as Li Shang, Dragon Chan later joined them during trick or treating, dressed as Shan Yu

- Even Yuki joined them, wearing a cute lil Mushu outfit

- Sadly didn't keep the outfit

Bear Hugger 🇨🇦🐻

- Went as Snow White (SO DID I OMGG?? - me)

- Most authentic portrayal of character; dude equipped himself with animals and stuff to make himself look real

- Wifey Lomasi (OC of mine) had to help him put on the dress. She would match him by dressing up as Prince Florian (would love to go as Pocahontas, but didn't want to chafe + wanted to be unique)

- Spruce (his squirrel) dressed up as an apple

- Singing the songs in a very jolly, very off-key manner.

- He's definitely keeping the costume for next year

Great Tiger 🇮🇳🐯

- Dressed up as Jasmine, but he'd really prefer to dress up as Jafar. He's more bonita (this hc was brought to you by ✨️an extremely biased Jafar fangirl✨️)

- His clones dresses up as the other characters, namely Aladdin, the Genie, and the very bonita Jafar

- Jafar Jafar jafar

- Holy frick I love Jafar smmmmm

- Okay back to Great Tiger

- He liked the movie a lot, and thought it was very funny

- Also very content with his outfit! He didn't chafe (hahaha Kaiser-) and it was nice and breezy

- Even fashioned his flying carpet to look like the one from the movie

- Keeping the outfit, but is definitely dressing up as Jafar next year (mmmm my fave boxer + fave Disney character uwu)

Don Flamenco 🇪🇸 🥀

- Dressed up as Sleeping Beauty, aka Aurora (ironic since in my Halloween hcs Carmen was Aurora and Don was Prince Philip lol)

- Carmen dressed up as Maleficent bc she doesn't want to "dress up as a dude" (oh the symbolism)

- Loves all romance stories, and Sleeping Beauty is no different. Dude 100% believes in true, unconditional love

- Joe also loves sleeping beauty, since it's another piece of classic French literature. He's going to see the play version with Joe in about a month lol

- Somehow didn't chafe; it must be his skincare routine

- Got sleepy halfway through the night and went home early

- Carmen stole the dress and isn't giving it back

Aran Ryan 🇮🇪 😈

- VERY against dressing up as Merida (a Scottish character) at first, but slowly grew to love it

- He watched the film, and related to Merida to a T (and so do I lmao)

- Brought a real bow and arrow and definitely shot random people with it (Before Sandy broke it)

- Took off the wig, burned it, and threw it at a random house

- Kept the dress and gifted it to his younger sister, Brooker (Another OC of mine) back in Ireland

Soda Popinski 🇷🇺🍾

- Watched the movie with Kaiser and really liked it! He's a sucker for winter aesthetics

- Researched more information on Elsa and went crazy learning about Elsagate

- Can and will sing "Let it go" if you either ask nicely, pay him, or if your name is Super Macho Man

- Chaffed terrible, ended up crab walking most of the night

- Spent 30% of the night w/Macho Man and king hippo, watching Macho Man do laps

- Also gifted the dress to his sister after Halloween

Bald Bull 🇹🇷 🐂

- Dressed up as Tiana, and doesn't care for it

- Very independent trick or treat night

- Was fine with the movie, but wasn't crazy about it

- A few candy givers complimented him though

- Accidentally ripped his dress late into the evening. Pray to the random group of trick or treaters that got mooned that evening

- Didn't keep the dress

Super Macho Man 🇺🇸🌊

- He's absolutely slaying the little mermaid outfit (he got first pick lol)

- Will not shut up about how he saw the movie in theaters as a kid, and will not shut up about how he knows Jodi Benson lmao

- That being said, it was very hard to move, which meant someone (Soda) had to pull him on a wagon everywhere. Dw, Soda wasn't complaining

- Decided to go to the beach to see if he could swim like a mermaid with the tail on. Yes, he could, and he did it beautifully.

- Soda also joined in his swimming. It wasn't straight at all

Mr. Sandman 💤🟢

- Very itchy dress- it did not accommodate his build at all

- He won't admit it, but he felt very bonita

- Joe started yapping about how lucky Sandman was to be dressing up as such a deep, meaningful character (bro straight up has a hyperfixation for French literature)... Sandy almost clocked him for yapping.

- Ironically had to go home to midnight, not because it was late, but because his glass shoes broke under his weight, and he had to go home and pick shards of glass from his feet

Bonus HC: All of them definitely recreated this scene:

OG post from @flamingoprincess25 ://www.tumblr.com/flamingoprincess25/765906549064482816/to-the-punch-out-fansmy-halloween-special-is?source=share