#her excuse was “it’s okay because everyone misgenders me and so do you”

[kowwpow]

Okay this girl who misgendered my friend is literally misgendering her other friend (I’m not friends with him) and when he said “I go by he/they, not she/her” she literally said that she didn’t care 😭 GIRL.

She has made a post in the past that she gets misgendered a lot, yet she continues to misgender her friends and call them girls

[a-not-so-clean-blog]

Nu carnival dealing with a transphobic family friend/ customer (ftm reader)

Warnings: transphobia. Spicy♦️ for Morvay.

Scene:

Your boyfriend decides to visit you at your job because he misses you and doesn't get to see you enough. Just a little visit to see how you're doing. He comes in and takes a seat in the corner of the cafe to wait for you to come over when you get a free minute. What he didn't expect to see was what looked like a family friend to be harassing you and actively misgendering you. Not to mention the invasive questions she has the gall to ask you…

Yakumo

Do you not hear the awful things this person is calling you? Girl? She? WIFE!? No no no, why aren't you correcting her? No sooner does the question run through his mind does he notice the tired and worn down look on your face. Like you've been through this a thousand times before and you're just waiting for it to be over again.

Anxiety be damned, he approaches the table as confidently as he could. Back straight but his fingers were laced together.

“Excuse me, you're making him uncomfortable.” His voice was quiet yet firm.

“Oh sweetie, no it's fine I know her mother.” She tried to wave him off, totally dismissing his presence.

“You're being rude. You should apologize to him.” They go back and forth like this for a minute before he gets really upset. So he turns his back to her and faces you directly. “I love you so much and you deserve so much better. When you're done working I'm going to make your favorite meal and we will cuddle until you feel better, okay?” His words are soft and caring. You know he wants nothing more than to take you out of this situation but knows he can't make a scene at your job.

When you get home he will do everything he can to remind you how masculine and perfect you are to him. He feels regret and wishes he could have done more in the moment, but also didn't want to get you in trouble at work or with your family.

Edmond

It takes him a moment to figure out what he's going to say. He is still cautious about having people know he is in a relationship with you, just for security reasons. So he can't just say “stop calling my boyfriend a girl.”. Ultimately he marches up to the table, stares the woman down, and in no uncertain terms tells her that her behavior is unacceptable.

“He has corrected you twice and you are actively disrespecting him by ignoring his claims.”

“If someone as bigoted as you frequents this establishment I can't imagine how much longer this shop will last.” As if on cue your manager rushes out to see what the fuss is about. Having an incident with the leader of the guards would be terrible for the cafe's reputation. After Edmond explained what happened your manager sided with him and basically gave her an ultimatum.

“Respect my employees or get out.”

She tried for a minute to get other patrons of the store to side with her but anybody who looked at the situation and saw Edmund standing there with his arms crossed knew better than to get involved. Unfortunately, instead of apologizing she simply left the store muttering curse words under her breath.

Olivine

He is probably the most polite of everyone here. He will ask the table if he can sit with them (of course they say yes because who's going to say no to Father Olivine). His heart breaks when he hears her nonsense tangent about “The great God of Klein made such a beautiful girl but she's wasting it by dressing like a man.”

It's so satisfying watching Olivine preach about how the God of Klein values individuals and makes their hearts perfect. “If his heart is a man's, then who are we to deny the great God of Klein’s judgment?” Everything she says to justify her transphobia he politely and lovingly shuts her down. “Those kinds of ideas are corrupting. Please, I think you should visit the temple and reflect on your own judgments.”

It's amazing watching her excuses be chipped away by someone who genuinely wants the best for people.

Quincy

He probably won't be quick to swoop in and “save you”. Honestly, he just wanted to hang out in your cafe while you worked. But now his day is ruined because somebody is upsetting his boyfriend, and clearly not respecting you no matter how many times you tried correcting them.

He quietly walks up behind you, his large frame casting a shadow over both you and the woman.

“See. That's what a real man looks like. Sweetie you could never compare so stop pretending.” The sickly sweet tone in her voice, the false compassion and pity left a bitter taste in his mouth.

He puts his hand on your shoulder and squeezes harder than intended. “This is what a real man looks like.” His voice was colder than any tone he's ever used around you before. You could feel the chill in your veins despite not being on the receiving end. You could see she was feeling the same effect you were, but much worse.

She stuttered as she tried to defend her transphobic views. Quincy stayed eerily silent until she was done spewing her bull shit. She took his silence as acceptance and by the end of her justification she gained a shit eating grin.

“If I ever hear you say that nonsense again I'm going to feed you to the bears in the wood territory.” Her face went pale as she realized he was not joking. Slowly she nodded her head, not wanting to make any sudden movements. Topper squeaked angrily at her and without another word Quincy returned to his seat. You could feel the warmth of his hand lingering on your shoulder even after he walked away, and the woman kept sneaking glances at him throughout her visit just to make sure he hadn't gotten up to do anything.

You know he didn't mean that threat seriously…right?

Kuya

He spent the better part of an hour watching you work before this family friend came in, just enjoying people watching and keeping an eye on you. That was until this family ‘friend’ came and started talking to you. Sitting just far enough away to make it difficult to hear what she was saying. Difficult, but he could still hear the pointed ‘she’s and ’her’s she spat. He didn't really care at first, not until he noticed you getting visibly uncomfortable. Normally he takes great pleasure in watching you squirm but this was different. This made him fume in a way he didn't know he could feel. Now isn't the time to think of his own feelings though, now was the time to make them stop.

He called you away from her table and asked you to make him something really quick. Probably something simple like a sandwich, but something that'll take you just enough time to get back so he can work. The moment you are out of the main dining area and in the kitchen he gets up and gingerly sits across the table from the surprised woman.

“I have something I think you should know~” He said in his normal sing-songy voice, curling his finger so she'll lean over the table for him. Slowly and clearly he whispers something in her ear, making sure she understood every word before leaning back in his seat to marvel at the appalled and horrified look on her face.

By the time you came back only a minute later she was gone and Kuya was back lazing in his seat, a sly smile on his face.

Blade

Sweet boy doesn't understand what the person is saying is malicious. It just turns into a back and forth of “darling is a boy” and “no she's a girl.” with both sides escalating until your manager skurries over to make them stop. When she stands up aggressively Blade almost goes into full protection mode.

You and your manager shift your focus from her to him. Blade doesn't stand down until you are holding him back and your manager kicking her out of the store.

When he comes back to his senses all he sees is you hugging him and he is happy as a clam. He doesn't even realize he almost went on a murder spree. Your manager is very tired and lets you go home early with Blade, just so he doesn't have to worry about Blade making another scene.

Garu

He hears everything that she's saying to you. Every nasty use of the wrong pronouns just made his fur prickle. His first instinct is to approach and get between you two but you've scolded him before about getting in the way of your job. His ears are pinned back against his head as he stares at the two of you.

He was patient enough to wait for you to be done taking her order. As soon as you leave her table he calls you over. “Are you okay? Why didn't you say anything? Do you need help?” His bombardment of questions hit you like a flood. His eyes were wide as he stared at you, practically staring into your soul. As you two were standing so close he could clearly smell the anxiety wafting off of you. He wanted to get rid of that smell, wanted the woman who caused it to go away, he just wanted to see you smile.

“It's okay Garu. She'll leave soon and I'll be fine.” You gave him a soft smile. His kindness always tugged at your heart.

“But she's upsetting my boyfriend!” He raised his voice a little as he was getting upset again. Not to the point of yelling but definitely to the point where she could hear you. It wasn't intentional but her face went red anyway. You gave him a quick kiss before thanking him and returning to your work.

She didn't bother you the rest of the time.

Karu

If you don't try to correct her misgendering you he will be confused but can wait to ask you about it later. However when you correct her and she blatantly starts calling you a girl more. He's on his feet ready to bite at a moment's notice.

“Shut up you hag. He told you he's a boy so now you're just being dumb!”

“Who are you calling dumb you little freak!?”

It does not take long for a full fledged brawl to break out between the two of them. You grab Karu by the arms and try your best to pull them off while other onlookers jump in and try to pull the woman away. Once the two are separated profanities are the only thing you can hear being screamed across the room. Both of them are kicked out of the cafe but she needs stitches and Karu successfully “defended your honor” so at least he's satisfied. You are put on clean up duty for the mess your boyfriend made, but secretly it did make you happy knowing just how far he'll go to make you feel seen.

Dante

Her face lit up when she saw Dante staring at you. Dante, the perfect specimen of a man. Smart, strong, handsome, and most importantly powerful. “Oh! Sun lord, don't you think she would make such a good wife!” She points at you, you are clearly upset and uncomfortable and it makes his blood boil.

“Absolutely not.” Her expression immediately fell at his words but she gained a wicked smile when she thought of a response.

“Oh dear, it's because she's so masculine. I keep telling her it's really unattractive and she won't ever find a good-” Dante's hot glare was enough to shut her up for a moment. The way he straightened his back and lifted his chin just to further look down on her gave you goosebumps.

“Let me be clear on one thing. He would make an awful wife, but is an exceptional boyfriend.” The woman was immediately shot down and put in her place. You're relatives that were sitting at the table awkwardly look away like they don't know anyone in this building. It's hard to tell what felt better, the butterflies in your stomach or the sweet taste of justice.

Rei

It's very simple actually. The solution to this problem is to buy a cup of coffee, go over to the table, and dump the hot coffee on the a-hole who insisted on misgendering you.

“Oops I didn't see you there. I must be as blind as you are.” And the entire time he maintained eye contact with her just daring her to say something. She, of course, starts screaming and throwing a tantrum. A string of “how dare you!” and “don't you know who I am!” came out with her shrill screeching.

He just shrugged and replied “I don't care who you are but anyone who disrespects my boyfriend like that means nothing to me. Frankly you're worse than scum and should be disgusted with yourself, but I know your type has no self awareness anyway.”

Eiden

He knows her type, he's dealt with them plenty of times in his world. He hates how she is talking about you, misgendering you and acting like you aren't even there. He's getting mad but he knows better than to make a scene in front of your family. So the next best thing to do is correct her.

He walks up beside you and puts an arm over your shoulder casually. “Oh? There's a pretty girl around here, where?”

She rolls her eyes when she looks at him. “You're leaning on her.”

Eiden looks to you then back to her, his eyes wide in fake bewilderment. “Ma'am are you feeling well? This is my boyfriend. He's very handsome, but pretty is not a word I would use to describe him.”

“Well she was born a girl so she's a girl.”

“Ah, so that explains why you're such a big baby!”

It's hard to hold back your laughter as her face turned bright red. For every other stupid transphobic comment she tried to make Eiden had a witty comment ready to shut her up.

“Well, gender is what's in her pants.”

“I was in his pants last night, so I guess I'm his gender.” Now your face went bright red as you lightly punched him in the arm which only made him laugh. His laugh was contagious, and the look on her face was satisfying.

Even the red hot glare she shot at you after a bit of your laugh slipped out didn't bother you anymore because Eiden was waiting to make her look a fool if she even tried to say something else about you.

Aster

He's not normally one to make a big scene so he doesn't move to confront her until after you've gone back to the kitchen to place her tables order.

“Hi, I couldn't help but notice your super cute top! That’s a Devilicious brand shirt right?”

Her face brightened when someone recognized her expensive brand of clothes. “Yes it is! I shop there all the time.” She bragged.

“What shop do you go to?”

“The one in water territory is my favorite, it has the best shirts but not as many shoes.”

“Hmmm good to know. I'm their supplier so I'm going to have them ban you from the store. I don't need bigots tarnishing my brand's name.” The way her face fell from pompous to petrified made Asters chest fill with pride. She scrambled to try and defend herself.

“What do you mean bigot?! I'm a good person.”

“Weren't you just calling that man a girl? He even corrected you.”

“No, no, you don't understand. I know her family and she is a girl.” When you came out you could see the sweat on her brow.

“Well he's my boyfriend and I don't care what his family lets you get away with calling him. Enjoy getting your Devilicious second hand.” He laughed as he walked past you and gave you a quick kiss on the cheek. “See you at home treasure.” And he was gone, leaving her in her booth on the verge of a crisis.

“What did I miss?”

Morvay

Oh he can feel his blood boiling every time she insults you like that. Not to mention nobody else at the table is even trying to defend you! Unacceptable.

He comes up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, and buries his face into your neck. He's practically spooning you while standing up. “Mmmm when is my husband going to give me the attention I need?” he whines into your ear.

“Babe I'm done in an hour, please be patient.” Embarrassed, you try to wiggle out of his grasp but he doesn't budge. Instead he nudges his head deeper into your neck. You almost squeak when his lips brush against your soft spot.

“But I don't want to wait that long to suck your dick!” He loudly whines so the whole restaurant can hear. The sound that followed was defining. You firmly ushered him back to his table, begging him to behave until you aren't in public. He sighs wistfully but agrees.

His plan worked though. Anytime the jerk tried to misgender you the entire store of eavesdroppers gave her a collective confused look and she was socially forced to correct herself. No matter what she would try to say people are going to believe Morvays very personal claim over hers.

[poppyseedqueenz]

(Hopefully Final)Update On the owonekko situation:

Okay so just today the situation has reached its peak so a few hours ago Nondi has worsened this whole mess by making a follow-up response to not only Jouusta but to her critics AND her fans as a WHOLE and let's just say it's probably WORSE than her first response

How did she Respond? Did she apologize? Is she taking a break? Did she realize her mistake?

Well.....

Okay I'm not gonna hold back

Nondi This is the Most NASTIEST, IMMATURE, RUDEST, DISRESPECTFUL Thing that I have Ever Seen! Where do I even start?? Lets start with the fact that whole Animatic low-key ridiculous not only is the whole thing lowkey disrespectful to EVERYONE involved with the portrayal of Jo, Her Critics, HER FANS. But this video is anything BUT respectful! She went silent for almost 5 to 10 days after her Livestream only to make an EVEN worse response not only that but the fact That now she's trying to turn the whole thing into a race issue when race was NEVER even mentioned by Jo or anyone EXCEPT Nondi! Nondi was the ONLY one who said anything about her skintone but now I'm starting to realize something

At this point this isn't even about the AI anymore Nondi is just being a straight-up bully and slandering Everyone involved specifically Jo painting her in a TERRIBLE TERRIBLE Light(whilst now Nondi fans are also now sending Jo hate comments and a few were DEATH THREATS)

Not only that but in the description to her animatic not only is she "Not sorry" she made a lengthy doc(and yes I read every single word) where she fails to take accountability and passes blame onto the critics and Jo and making excuses for her behavior and adding extra things that are half-true, not relevant to the situation, gaslighting fans, and downright lies of which she claims is the "truth"

Nondi's Doc:

Let me remind that after Jo's video went up she made a Pinned Comment and made a few edits to it when Nondi's livestream went up This is What she Said:

Jo's Pinned Comment: "EDIT (9/12/24): Thank you to all who have let me know about Nondi’s most recent livestream and livestream thumbnail. I have not watched the full VOD, but I have seen the thumbnail and… obviously, I am not okay with it. Not in the slightest. That being said, it’s very clear to me that she’s having a mental health episode of some sort. I’m hoping after that livestream she’ll take some time off the internet and not entertain this controversy anymore. I’m disappointed with her actions, with her portrayal of me, and with how she’s handled everything, but at the end of the day I want her to be mentally well, and I feel bad that I contributed anything to the deterioration of her mental state. I still stand by everything I said in this video. I still think she’s wrong for misgendering the larger creator (and continuing to justify it). But I think this will be the last thing I’ll say regarding this video and OwONekko. If anything else happens, I’m not gonna address it (unless I feel like I REALLY need to). Again, don’t go and harass Nondi. Don’t be nasty to anyone. Take care of your mental health too. . . . . . . . . A few more notes here! I changed the title of this video from “How to Lose an Audience’s Trust - OwONekko’s AI Art Stance and How it Harms Artists” to “OwONekko’s Generative AI Stance and How it Harms Artists” because I felt like that was a more concise and less offensive way to market the video. I also want to say I do NOT think Nondi is a bad person for using and liking AI for the reasons she does, I just disagree with her reasons, and I should have been more clear about that. She’s entitled to her opinion about AI as much as I am entitled to mine. I may go here or on my insta to say a few more things regarding this situation if anything else happens, but I’m not going to make any more video content because I don’t want to egg on the people that have been relentlessly harassing Nondi because of my video. Genuinely, I feel awful about that. If you have anything to say about this discourse, keep it on MY video and off of her twitter/ Youtube page. She’s seen all the arguments, criticism, and nasty shit that’s out there. I may have criticized her for blocking certain users in my video, but at this point I think that course of action is 100% justified. If I had known this video was going to be shown to over 200,000 people in less than 48 hours, I would have been a lot more clear and less reactive with how I expressed things in this video. I’ve never had a video perform like this one did.. like, genuinely, I thought this would be watched by the people already in this discourse and MAYBE just a few others. It was not my intention to bring so many new eyes to her channel, especially in this light, but that’s what happened. As for the transphobia claims, she says it was an accident and will not repeat this mistake going forward. She hasn’t apologized for misgendering the creator, which I absolutely disagree with, but she’s made it clear she doesn’t stand by what she originally did. (that being said, I am not trans or queer, so whether or not you want to support her for this going forward is completely up to you. Just don’t go and be a bother to her.)(edit: she has continued to justify her misgendering the larger creator so idek anymore) I’ll edit this comment if I have anything else to add, but for now that’s all I have to say."

I am 100% on Jo's side of the drama

Jo said that nondi was entitled to her opinion and was not calling her bad in ANY WAY Jo was rightfully upset about how nondi portrayed her in the Livestream(she hasn't seen the Animatic yet) and for some reason nondi and her die-hards decided to attack her when Jo just made a harmless statement and even said not to harass anyone at the VERY beginning of her video plus she Cannot be blamed for who saw the video she is not in control of what the algorithm shows us as she said that her intended target for the video were people who WERE actually aware of the situation WITH the exception of a FEW new eyes NOT 200,000(now 400,000) new eyes and she did apologize for that and I do agree if people did not watch Nondi's ai stance video and then Jo's video(even though jo DID say to watch Nondi's video first to get the full context)

(Note: I watched Nondi's full ai stance video before Jo uploaded hers) and just saw Jo's video(depending on how much you watched of Jo's video) and just relentlessly attacked nondi are also in just as much of the wrong telling her to "Kys" is not helpful and making her more stubborn and while I don't agree with her deleting comments that DO know the full story those critiquing her with no context are 100% justified beacuse context is EVERYTHING however Nondi's reactions and responses are NOT justified whatsoever she is a GROWN ASS WOMAN who knew DAMN WELL what's she's doing especially when she went live with that slander video, Twitter posts and even TODAY'S video and the fact that people are still defending what she's done are also the problem she is not the victim she is the perpetrator and when other people did what she's done now they were called crazy, were ridiculed or nearly lost or DID their careers entirely)

The last time a rapper(Doja Cat) made a post disrespecting her fans the same way nondi did she lost almost 200,000 followers

When this rapper(Nicki Minaj) went on a whole Twitter rampage and a crazy rant on IG live beacuse of Hiss (by Meg Thee Stallion)(in this case Nondi went on A coke rant on YT live)she was called a fucking cokehead

When this youtuber(Colleen Ballinger) made a video pinning blame on the internet for banding together, calling her out on her predatory behavior and made a ukulele musical as a response(in Nondi's a fucking snl skit) her response was seen as the worst youtuber apology/statement videos to date

(Note: this is not an attack on Nicki, Doja nor Meg as I love and respect all 3 of these artists however I can't say the same thing for Colleen as she is a terrible human being)

And while people are saying "omg the art community is so sensitive" and you know what? You're right the art community can get sensitive over everything and anything but that that's not the case people are rightfully upset at nondi she montitezed her ai Playlist Made by a company who's under fire for stealing unauthorized audio and using it but now she's attacking fans and critics who were trying to tell here what she was doing was WRONG

AI is a dangerous practice and a very controversial topic that is threatening not only art but jobs in general if ai was not being trained on stolen work and being seen as a replacement then maybe I would have a different opinion the problem is its not being seen as a tool but as a REPLACEMENT for human artists whist stealing art from them and creating entirely new images for the stolen work and people keep Making excuses for ai if "get with the times" mean I have to just let ai steal my work then I rather be left behind

And when I was looking at Nondi's Doc she keeps using race(she used are a total of 3 times even again race is NOT the problem and the fact that your using the race card is downright sickening and this is coming from a black person) and she tried to make Jo look like the bad person and acting as if what she's doing isn't overreacting guess what nondi You ARE overreacting and this Animatic and doc is proof and the way you responded has just made things worse you could've used that short hiatus to reevaluate or make a statement no one asked you to apologize for the A.I video but for the misgendering, the hateful comments and to Jo but instead you make 2 videos(one of them being a YT live) and slandered many people(even though you said you don't like bigger platforms using their influence to harm others) she is becoming the thing that she doesn't want to be and it's sad and the fact that fans still defend and fight tooth and nail for her just proves how ignorant these people are critics will critique ANYTHING, EVERYTHING and EVERYONE that should be common knowledge if you become a content creator or a public figure(such as a celebrity, influencer or musician) if you can't wrap your head around that then content creation isn't for you She is a GROWN woman who went on a two-year old rampage over a controversial topic

Remember the reason all of this is happen is beacuse she got pissy over ONE comment and she's using her race as a sheild

This isn't a RACE issue this is an ETHICS issue and she's treating it like some Anti-Black Campaign

Nondi This is Unacceptable

Leave the internet or take a hiatus beacuse this is too far

[jupipedia]

— www.spideypeoplemeet.com. - m. o'hara.

[ chapter one ] : what the fuck is that?

[ details ] : mentions of violence, possibly ooc miguel [ not really idk ], nothing too crazy if i say so myself, there is no smut in this chapter but will be some in future chapters.

series masterlist.

you had no clue what you were looking at. well, you had some clue but not enough to come to a sound conclusion.

you had been on your usual nighttime patrol, stopping the occasional robbery or assault when a few of the streetlights began to blow, stopping at the light in front of the building you rested on.

you straightened you posture as you sensed that you weren't alone, turning around just in time to narrowly dodge a lightning bolt hurtling towards your face.

"woah, what the fuck?" you dodge another bolt of lightning, rolling a decent amount away from your attacker. "who the fuck are you?"

"don't tell me you don't recognize me, spider-man?" the person on the roof sneered. you took a closer look and were still confused. you didn't know this person. one, you would remember fighting the budget version of zeus, and two, he called her spider-man.

"excuse me, did you just say spider-man? i mean i know we're in progressive times, but you can't just assume my gender identity. here, i'll even introduce myself. i'm spider-woman and my pronouns are-" you were cut off by another flash of lightning heading your way. you dodged in time and webbed the guy's hands and arms up before placing your hands on your hips. "you can't get mad try to kill me because you misgendered me. that's totally uncool."

"you're not spider-man. who the hell are you?" the man growled out, thrashing around in the webs. you threw you hands up in the air in disbelief.

"it's like you haven't listened to a word i said. first of all, i just told you that i'm spider-woman. and second of all, i asked you first and you still haven't answered me. were you bitten by pikachu or something? i mean not that i'm judging, everyone has a gimmick these days-" you paused in you rant as you watched the man seemingly glitch, taking a few step back as he fell down in pain. "okay, what the fuck was that?"

you didn't receive an answer as the man used his electrokenesis to break from your web. there was no room for another witty remark as a line of lightning flashed in your direction. "don't tell me your afraid of a little shock, spider-woman?"

"at least, you got the woman part right. i'll count that as progress. but could we do less fighting and more talking? i don't wanna hurt your ego, dude," you huff out. you over calculated your dodge and found yourself flinging through the air and into the side of a building. "that didn't tickle."

you used a web to pull yourself towards the attacker before knocking him off of his feet. his attacks never ceased as you tried to subdue him, constantly dodging lightning strikes and shockwaves.

"dude, could you stay still? i really don't wanna hurt you. i just wanna talk," you groan, dodging yet another shockwave before backing up and sitting on the ledge of the building. "so, who are you?"

"you know i'm not gonna answer that. defeats the whole purpose of the mask," the man responds, shooting a bolt your way. rather than dodging normally, you teleported on a separate ledge before continuing.

"it was worth a shot. look, i'm not sure what vendetta you have against your spider-man, but i'm not him. so, you'll really have nothing to gain if you try to kill me," you spoke, walking along the edge of the roof.

"it doesn't matter to me. spider-man or woman, i will end you," he growls out, shooting another bolt at you.

unexpectedly, you caught the bolt and it dissipated, instead being absorbed and turned into energy for you to use. the man's eyes widened as he watched your hands glow pink before you looked at him. "i told you, everyone has a gimmick these days."

you webbed his full body in illuminated pink web, cocooning him before sitting next to him. "i really didn't want to do that."

he went to retort but stopped when he noticed you weren't looking at him, but rather at the other side of a roof. a hexagon-shaped portal opened up and out stepped a tall, built masculine figure, donning a suit with a similar spider to your own.

"looks like you didn't need any help after all," he spoke, his voice low.

"told you she was good," a feminine voice spoke from behind you. you turned to see a woman on motorcycle, with her own spider-suit.

"anybody wanna tell me what's going on or am i going to have start assuming? because none of my guesses end well for either of you," you speak, standing up in a defensive stance. you begin to walk closer to the woman when your senses started to overdrive. "hold, you're... you're- what is this?"

"i'm spider-woman. just like you. except i'm not from this dimension. there's a lot that you don't know, but we can help you clear it up," the woman spoke, stepping off of her bike and walking towards you.

"could we wrap this up and head back to hq? you do the pep talk back there," the man suddenly spoke, hauling the webbed criminal up before tossing a device at you. "put it on."

"what is it?" you inspected the device, tapping on the screen a few time to determine if it was actually safe and not a trap.

"do you usually ask so many questions?" the masked man asked, knocking the squirming criminal out before placing his hand on his hip.

"are you usually this enigmatic?" you shot back, deciding to place the device around your wrist as it didn't seem to pose a threat. the masked man didn't offer a reply as he stepped into the portal, not sparing you another glance. you turned to look at the other spider-woman with a raised eyebrow.

"you get used to it," she said, wheeling her motorcycle over to the portal. "all you have to do is step through the portal. it'll lead you right to hq. and make sure you keep the gadget on, it'll stop you from glitching when you're outside of your dimension. don't ask, just follow after me."

she waltzed into the portal, leaving you alone on the roof. you hesitated toward the portal, looking around one more time before walking through.

"this better not fuck up my suit."

before you could grasp the fact that you were traveling to a new dimension, you were tossed out of the portal and onto a steel floor, groaning as your back made contact with hard material.

"i should've given you a heads-up about the landing. it's a little tricky at first, but you'll get the hang of it eventually," the other spider-woman said, watching you as you stood from your spot on the ground.

"i'll take that as a sign to add padding to my suit," you brushed off your suit before looking up at the woman. "you gon' introduce yourself or..?"

"right. i'm jessica drew, but you can just call me jess. the brute that was with me earlier is miguel o'hara. he's the one that started this whole thing," jess spoke, leading you towards a set of doors.

"what is 'this whole thing'?" you asked, looking around the room before pausing by her side.

"y/n, welcome to the spider-society," she spoke as the two doors opened, revealing a large space occupied with a variety of spider-people.

you looked around, marveled by the varying spider-people. you had to take a few double-takes, particularly when you noticed spider-man on a horse that also donned a mask of it's own. you had never expected to meet another spider-person, let alone be surrounded by hundreds of people just like you.

"we are a growing task force composed of spider-people. we dedicate our time to catching anomalies and preventing the disruption of canon events. canon events are—," jessica began but was interrupted by you

"vital moments that are unchangeable, i know. i studied quantum physics enough to get a rough understanding of how the whole space and time continuum works. i just didn't think i'd be experiencing it myself. and can i just say, this is so fucking cool," you said, still glancing in every direction as the two of you approached the end of the long walkway, leading you into a backroom.

there were panels and screens on one side of the room and the other held an elevated platform where you spotted miguel standing.

"nice office you got here. totally not dark and creepy at all," you said to miguel, despite not looking in his direction.

"you're definitely a spider-variant," he spoke from the platform, not bothering to turn around as it slowly descended to the ground.

you pulled a face behind your mask. "i'm gonna assume that was an insult. thank you for such a warm welcoming."

"i do have a question for you, y/n. are you ever gonna remove the mask 'cause the whole spider-society thing kind of defeats the need for it at the moment," jessica said, taking a seat on a chair and pushing one over to you.

"oh, right," you pulled your mask off of your head, allowing your locs to fall upon your shoulders. "i'm not used to being able to tell people who i am."

"a black girl. was not expecting that one," jess muttered to herself before turning face miguel who also seem surprised at your appearance.

"you guys have been stalking me for lord know how long and you didn't know i was black? worst stalkers ever," you joked as you spun around in your chair, earning an amused smile from jess.

"vale, don't call it stalking. you're gonna make it weird," miguel groaned, swiping a hand across his face.

"just calling it how i see it," you laughed. you watched as miguel's face turned serious and jess turned her chair towards you. miguel opened his mouth to speak but was unable to get a word out as you spoke instead. "i'm in, by the way."

"wh-what? just like that?" miguel questioned, giving jess an exasperated look who gave him a shrug in response.

"you were gonna ask me to join your spider-crew, right? i had a feeling that you would. i'm in. i just had to fight someone who wasn't from my dimension and while he wasn't tough, i don't wish that on anybody else. so, i'm gonna help. now, could one of you teach me how to use this thing? you didn't really leave any instructions when you tossed it to me, big guy," you said, tapping your device a few times before looking at the other two in the room. jessica moved closer to you before explain how to use the device.

"i had a speech and everything. there's usually some kind of order to these kind of things," he continued, watching as you opened a portal, presumedly back to your world.

"i don't have time for order. gotta get back to the streets of new york. i'll be sure to come back when i'm not on patrol, hopefully you won't need me until then because i need a little time to wrap my head around this. i know i look calm and collected but i'm two spider-people away from losing my shit," you walked to the portal before calling over your shoulder. "sorry for anything that i break tomorrow."

the two of them watched as you walked through the portal and it closed behind you with jess being amused at your persona.

"hobie's gonna love her. i mean she's just like him," jessica states, still staring at where your portal once was.

"that's what i'm afraid of. one of him is bad enough."

© JUPIPEDIA. all rights reserved.

[velvetvexations]

(this is from yesterday so this entire thing is written out and just copy pasted in.)

The more I see how you've been treated by other trans people, the more hollow all the posts repeating variations of 'love all trans women! Listen to all trans women! Have kindness and grace for all trans women! Even the bad and ugly and annoying ones!' become to me.

One one hand, these posts almost without fail dissolve into active vitriol the moment someone (foolishly and naively) tries to mention any other kind of trans person, which the OPs often shut down and treat as insulting, hostile, nefarious or a deliberate attempt to take away (steal?) the kindness away from transfems (like it's a finite resource?)

On the other, I follow a lot more transfems than transmascs, meaning I got to see how some of them felt about it. The anecdote that lasered itself into my brain was seeing a butch trans woman saying she felt bitter and kinda hopeless sharing that kind of message because her experience was that not even other trans women had any kindness or grace for her.

And then how this has played out for you. You and another trans woman disagreed, and instead of saying 'you're annoying me and I disagree with your opinion' she presented you as misgendering her (it's apparently not enough that you use they/them by default to account for all the genderfuckery on Tumblr. How dare you not be clairvoyant.), she didn't care that you corrected yourself and told the person crawling out of the woodwork to talk shit about her to fuck off, she said you 'threatened to share' her nsfw account when you censored the url and told the anon to get lost, and blamed you for a shitstorm resulting from her saying something controversial.

Going further, you get that asshole demanding you 'give the URL of your transfem mutuals'. It reminds me of how everyone, including other transfems, were screaming at Tumblr's CEO to show 'proof' that predstrogen had said or done something worthy of being banned. And it's just... Does anyone hear themselves? Why is everyone okay demanding personal or potentially intimate information about transfems for the sake of 'proof?' Why do you have to hand off the URLs of people you know so some asshole can presumably judge them and dismiss them for not being good enough? Does no one else find it insane that it's okay to bulldoze transfem's privacy for the sake of 'proof'?

Is this why those positivity posts are so often structured like commands? So that everyone can nod their head and pat their backs self righteously for doing the 'right thing' of passing this command along to the unspecified OTHER meant to ACTUALLY work on treating transfems better? Did everyone press the reblog button to look good or something? I thought everyone, trans people included, agreed that the point was tangibly and personally putting in some effort to do better?

I always internalised those posts as a rallying cry to do better, all of us, but it seems like it's played out as an excuse for people to use personal pain to justify lashing out and pushing the DOING better part onto 'someone else'.

Yeah, like. So much of it just comes off as virtue signaling? I recently got accused of being an anti-SJW for using that term lol but that's an actual thing that actually happens. It's so performative. It's theory.

And it really does frustrate me that I can't take those posts seriously. Regardless of what anyone else thinks, I have serious chest thumping anxiety about the constant, terrifying situation we're all in. We as in "me as well". So I want to take comfort in those posts that are about how the OP will support trans women with their dying breath, I did take comfort in those posts, but then I look for five seconds on OP's blog and find ten posts about transandro bros and I want to never hear someone say they support me ever again because they're all fucking snakes and their support is completely worthless to me.

[your-queer-dad]

dad! I talked to the princapal and got the right name on some papers and also he said he’d talk to all the staff

later that day a different teacher came up to me and pulled me asided and asked me if she was the one who misgendered me she was really worried and said if she did she’s sorry and she asked if I was ok and stuff she’s alright sometimes I wish it was all the time

anyway back to the shitty teacher she’s just been avoiding me I think I haven’t heard her talk about me or to me the entire while

the principal said that none of this was on purpose but like bro she’s been screaming and misgendering and she’ll be super ableist and visibly homophobic not letting boys sit near eachother and saying how like boys can’t have stuffed animals and we’re to old for itshit whenever we’d bring toys to school but she lets the girls do it! and she’ll go on rants about how boys shouldn’t to this or be this etc and how girls can’t act like this blah blah blah and it’s like hell yeah she meant it the fuck

anyway she’s either lying to him or he’s covering for her either way this is annoying he kept trying to like idk smooth it over and it’s like dude I don’t need to be best friends with her just tell her to stop being a massive pile of shit

also I got my blood drawn and they kept deadnaming me and saying how oh well when you get your name legally changed then we can call you whatever you want. And it’s like sure but you could also call me my name right now motherfucker. My mom made a comment like only a couple more months because I’ll be turning eighteen soon and I called her out cause she does this thing where she pretends to be a good mom and a ally in public but actually she’s been keeping me from transitioning and she sent me terf books and called me a demon spawn and threatens me like all the time etc and then in the car after the appointment in the car I told her she’s making excuses for the nurses and they didn’t have to deadname me and then she got mad like really fucking mad and she went all quiet and started driving crazy like dangerous crazy she does that a lot and it’s a miracle she hasn’t gotten me in a car crash I’m at home now I know she’s not safe not just from the car thing just in general she’s violent and threatens a lot and she does this thing where when she gets mad she’ll grab the back of my neck real hard and drag me around like a damn rubber chicken I started walking behind her to avoid it so it hasn’t happened in a while but idk man everything really pisses me off this is all bullshit and I’m so sick of everyone just excusing it all you feel me also some girl at school keeps coming up behind me and squeezing my neck and it keeps fucking with me cause of what my mom does that girl keeps hitting on me to she won’t leave me alone and this always fucking happens dude she’s like threatening and making jokes about sexually assaulting me and I’m like bro??? The fuck?? My parents don’t care I’ll tell the principal if it gets worse but with the way he is he’ll probably be like oh she didn’t mean it she’s so young she was just joking try to be friends she’s just a little girl blah blah blah I hate how adults justify all this shit I just want someone to call it out or get mad on my behalf for once why won’t anybody ever defend me I’ve been dealing with this for eighteen years the same shit over and over from everyone I’m just a kid to and no one ever stepped in

Hey kiddo, I am so sorry you have all of that shit to deal with, that's awful. I'm really proud of you for telling the principal and that teacher came to check that they were being okay. How your mom treats you is awful and you don't deserve any of that. I am so sorry she has been doing that. You have so much awful things happening to you and it isn't fair, not at all.

- dad x

[hammeragainstbirds]

[There is a video attatched, do you want to watch it?]

//This is so long but I swear it's not that bad. In the tags will be what you need to know after this even if you don't read it so everything else makes sense.

//I'll actually rewrite the ooc paragraph into several shorter ones so it's easier to read.

//Apple's friends don't react in the best way possible, as they don't know what is going on. This is made worst because Apple was already distressed.

//Apple isn't out to their friends, so they'll only use he/him to refer to her. He does use that pronoun, so it's not misgendering, but don't expect them to use anything else. Also, it's name will be written [Apple], as that's the one they use online, not her actual name. It's not deadnaming, but I understand that it can look as if I was censoring a deadname.

//There is a mention of the current state of Apple's transformation. Specifically, the start of the face changing.

//Also, first and probably last time a character uses a swear word (or whatever those are called in english, I think it's that) in one of my post. I feel like that friend would use them, but I don't like writing them.

[The video is taken from around the height of Apple's head, so it's impossible to see everyone else's faces. Apple can be seen next to the window, trying to check where they would land. Steps can be heard from the other side of the room as other three people enter it. The room is dark, except for the small amount of light entering though the window.]

"What the... what is that?"

[Apple is covering its face and making a ball in the floor, ashamed of how she looks like. One of his friends tries to get closer, but Sharp the pawniard jumps to his trainer's rescue. He positions himself between Apple and the rest, ready to fight.]

"Sharp? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with [Apple]? Where is he, anyway?"

"Yeah and, more importantly, how did that... tinkaton? get here?"

[[Blue] hits [Pink] with her elbow while looking at him with a disapproving face.]

"What? It was a joke! I'm obviously looking for him!"

"Get out of here."

"[Apple]? Where are you?"

"Leave me alone, okay? I don't want you to see me right now."

[[Red] tries to get close to Apple, suspecting that their voice comes from that part of the room. Sharp, feeling his owners distress, does the only thing he can think of.]

"What the fuck Sharp? Why did you do that? Agh, it hurts a lot! Just let me get there already!"

[[Red] holds his leg with a pained expression while looking at Sharp. [Blue] throws a pokeball, freeing the Skeledirge inside. The pokemon uses its tail to move Sharp out of the way and keep him there.]

"No! Leave him alone! He can't get hurt. I- I didn't hurt him, you can't do it. P- please, don't do anything. Just get out of here!"

[Apple says this while crying. He looks at Sharp, hoping he's fine. That allows both the camera and her friends to see their new face. It's still very similar to the face it had before this began, but it is pink and is starting to change to look more tinkaton-like. It can be noticed mostly in the eyes, which are starting to get taller and thinner. The three of them flinch when seeing this.]

"Is that... Wha- what happened to you?"

"Yeah, you look terrible! Is that your excuse to let us study by ourselves?"

"I told you to leave me alone!"

[The camera seems to fall and look to the ceiling for a moment, before it repositions itself. Both pokemon appear to be fine, but the three humans seem to have been launched against the wall. Some glowing particles can be seen floating around in the room, quickly disappearing. Apple gets to where Sharp is as fast as she can without showing themself more than necessary and hugs him.]

"You are okay, everything is okay. I'm here to help you, I promise. I- the instincts won't win, I'll protect you."

[Apple is holding the hammer, which is longer now. The new addition is a different color to the metals used before. He runs towards the window and jumps, the camera following behind. Its landing is good enough, so they can start running towards the nearby forest almost immediately, Sharp still in his arms.]

[End of the video.]

//Not fully convinced with some parts, but probably good enough. I don't know if I should tag this anything specific, but the warning in the beginning should work for that.

[ghostlytalkin]

what happened with mads? askin because they have allegedly been horrible to my friends multiple times as well

okay didn't actually expect anybody to check my tags on that post. Using She/her pronouns because that's what she has on findrps and what I remember her using when we were in rps

Mads was absolutely the nicest person when I first met her. We vibed super well, she showed me cute bongs, I listened to her vent a lot. So she started out really great, was super sweet, we were in a few rps, I joined her scream group and even got to be made admin because she needed a tough admin and I said I didn't mind being that. I'm use to people being upset with me. I think that's when I started notice the flaking? Or maybe I was just being hyper aware

I was one Mads' mods for Nightgate, Illinois. Doing admin stuff, helping out the other admin. She said she got busy and fell off so like I get that. But when there were issues it was impossible to get a response in the group chat sometimes. Kinda excused behavior while behind the doors complaining.

When the coming soon post for Elysium dropped everyone in our lil circle was excited. Mads seemed to have changed right then. She wasn't really talking to us except to complain. Then it offically dropped and we joined the discord. When one friend was denied joining I asked if we were all going to dip in unity. Mads response? "Jenna really wants to write with me again so I'm not going to leave." She suggested alt account and admittingly we all were like "Yeah good idea!" The three of us admit that was a bad choice and even apologized.

Mads sent the Elysium admins screenshots of our conversation, having deleted where she was the one who suggested it and encouraged it. We all found out when she left our group server and blocked us everywhere. EXCEPT YOU DIDN'T BLOCK ME ON SNAPCHAT MADS!

Mads bestie is Jenna, the mun who said transphobic shit. She hasn't talked to us, could have said "you know what guys actually bad idea" and we'd all have left. Because we all agreed it was stupid and we got caught up in the moment and hype of what she said. We've taken accountability and took the blame for Mads idea.

She also talks mad shit to whoever will listen, especially her besties in Elysium and misgendered me at times even though I told my pronouns. Oh yeah and she talked shit about the admins of Elysium as well. Bit I guess didn't want to expose herself that way.

[screechingpapercat]

Do I miss them? Fucking of course I do.

It hurts a little everytime I see a Facebook post of them all together after all these years.

They were my family for 10 years. Literally half of my life. I saw them more than biological family sometimes.

Do I want it back? Sometimes. I think about what would have happened if I didn't leave. I would have black gi pants by now. I'd be at the 13-14 year mark by now.

But would I be the me that I am now? I'm not sure. Probably not.

Leaving gave me the chance to fully be Flynn. To fully be autistic and queer and all the little things. It gave me more time and less anxiety.

Had I not left in senior year I think I would have left eventually. It was also because of college but dammit I'm not going to use that as an excuse like everyone else. It wasn't because I didn't have time it was because some of you were shitty people that made me feel bad about myself. You made me feel Unsafe and that's the truth.

Leaving gave me saber guild though. And it's not the same, I don't think anything can but it fills the hole. Something I love with people who love me. People who respect me and my identities. I don't worry about being dead named or misgendered or having to explain myself too hard if I get overstimulated. I dont have to flinch to myself and one other person when i hear a slur or some racist/homiphobic/transphobic shit because no one says them.I don't feel scared that I'll do something wrong and get called out for it. I don't worry about bruises or getting my ass kicked even though I could hold my own. I don't worry about unwanted touch or conversations.

I can stim when I'm happy, I can leave early if I need to without feeling like shit

I can talk about my lovely nonbinary partner without people making comments about how they "don't understand" they like my partner at saber guild. We want them to join with a costume of their own.

But fuck man I miss them, some of them at least and that's okay because I don't think I ever gave myself time to mourn an entire decade of my life. I had college apps to deal with and essays to write and work to do. I shoved my obis into my closet and left them there because I didn't want to look at them. I want to show them off. I fucking earned them. I struggled and fought through 10 goddamn years to get my black belt. I didn't even think I would get there. I did it during a fucking pandemic too. We had Karate on zoom and in masks and social distanced outside. I stayed for a year after that and took part in hazing kids younger than I was, I watched them cry from pain and stress and everything and all I did was keep yelling. I hate that I did that. Some kid bled on me because they wouldn't let him get a paper towel which was gross as hell and unsafe!!!!

I only really miss a handful of people. I only got close to a few people. It was kinda like having a huge extended family.

My media studies teacher in senior year helped me navigate some of this when I decided to leave. She read over emails with me and my mom fully went to bat once I decided I needed her to intervene.

And then you didn't believe me when I explained why I wanted to leave. So fuck you for that. I'm happy where I am now. I am doing so much better. I lost a community but gained two more in saber guild and other costuming clubs and in college. I can enjoy my summers without worrying about Karate camp. I don't come home exhausted from practice, I come home happy and ready to go back.

So yeah sometimes I miss it, not all but some. And I'm allowed to because it's only been a few years and I went through hell with some of those people. But those that really matter to me understood. They weren't mad at me. They see me living my life and tell me that I've found my people. To hear that from someone I haven't spoken to since senior year and can only go off my Facebook and Instagram posts is truly something amazing.

Maybe I'll get to a point where I no longer have stress dreams or worry about running into you in public. Maybe ill remember the good over the bad instead of immediately remebering how scared i always was. I hope I do because you shouldn't get to make me feel like that anymore. I'm happy where I am, with who I have and that's it.

[anikiri]

Hey, I mean this in the most sincere way possible, but I wanted to let you know that what you wrote about step 2 Rena in regards to Qiu is very transphobic. GB Patch has stated multiple times Qiu would cut off anyone who misgendered them and anyone who thinks their a man; they would especially cut off someone who entered a relationship with Qiu and saw their relationship as straight because it funnels into the idea of Qiu being a man and Qiu hates being considered as such.

Also, the whole post makes Rena look very transphobic considering you said she "does that to everyone" in regards to the misgendering and the only way that could happen to "everyone" is if she misgenders everyone whose trans.

I'm pretty sure you meant for the post to be innocuous and people figuring out their sexuality because they like someone who came out as transgender is something that you should explore in your character, but that doesn't excuse anyone being transphobic.

Okay okay, thanks for mentioning this. I kinda somewhat thought this might happen

• So let me explain. Rena dose not miss gendered Qiu or anyone, she would respect their gender and pronounce but the problem with her is that she would sometimes mixup her words. Like names,time,location, how u pronounce certain words and that even include pronounce(and many more, her brain is a mess).That's what I mean by she "does that to everyone".

• Now that's being said, Rena are also a over thinker and would prone to conclude to the negative things more than the positive/simple answer. That being she thought she might actually secretly still saw Qiu as a guy even though she doesn't.

•Truly she doesn't and she knows that, but still–! What if? "what if I actually do?" "What if I'm that much of a horrible person to do that to Qiu" "I mean I'm not caring and kinda, so maybe..." That's basically some of the things that constantly running through her head. Being one of the reasons why she never pursue her relationship with Qiu romantically until later on or be close to them.

• I mean how could she when she is such a "horrible" person.

So yeah,... that's my explanation. I hope it would clear up some miscommunication and if you have any concern or something just not make sense with my explanation please do say, I would try my best to answer it to my best ability. And I'm really sorry for my bad wording before.

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

Like many anons already said, I am actually not that disturbed by the transphobes defending Emma, because while it's of course annoying to see them bash an innocent woman and quite saddening to see there's still so much transphobia in a year 20 fucking 23, they're just helping bring more attention to her horrible behavior and help damaging her reputation.

However, some of Emma minions excuses piss me off.

The "oh, she waited 4 years, she just wanted to ruin AHS Delicate premiere". Okay first of all, that does not change the fact that Emma was transphobic. Like at all. Transphobia doesn't have expiration date (i totally stole that from some comment I read). And even if she told the story just to ruin the premiere. Even if she said it because she's jealous. Even if she said it because she's bitter about the promised AHS season. That does not change the fact THAT EMMA WAS BEING TRANSPHOBIC.

The "she waited so long to talk about it it's sus". No it's not. A black trans woman, waiting years to expose a white, rich, nepo baby who has a powerful aunt in the industry, is not suspicious at all. It's understandable.

The "emma meant she wasn't the lady, because she was aged with make up" THEY BOTH HAD MAKE UP ON. I know Emma tried to excuse herself that way, but that excuse does not make sense because one, like I said, they both had make up to age them. Two, older woman is also a lady? Like there's no age group for ladies... Why would Emma not consider herself a lady because of the make up that aged her...

The "emma was wrong but why she had to make it public" Hm i dont know, so people know that Emma Roberts is a transphobe and that people shouldn't support her? They really wished Angela would talk it out in private, so no one would find out. Oh well, too bad.

The "emma apologized" excuse. Well, her apology was shit because it basically was "I'm an ally, you misunderstood me🥺" And the apology does not change the fact that she's a transphobe. If you cheat and apologize, you're still a cheater. If you abuse someone and apologize, you're still an abuser. And oh wait, Emma is all of them, but haven't apologized for 2/3 because she wasn't publicly canceled for it.

Sorry for the long ask

no need to apologize, i definitely agree. people on the internet don't get to decide when someone who was mistreated have to let it go and move on. they don't dictate whether or not it plays out publicly.

this is where i think it's important to use clear language. for many people, when they hear about someone ''misgendering'' a trans person they think of an accidental slip-up where the person apologizes and didn't intentionally mean any harm. folks are acting like what happened is akin to this and angelica is being petty. they're not thinking about the entire sum of angelica's experience with emma and the intention behind what she did. emma was already making the set miserable for everyone, so it's not like she was some pleasant person who had a weak moment during anger. emma literally received an insignificant, snarky comment from angelica and decided that she would sarcastically insult her in the cruelest way she knew how.

honestly, angelica should not even be expected to accept emma's apology or acknowledge it. she did her a favor by doing so, one emma wasn't owed. she didn't even have to take her call. her fans are right, IT HAD BEEN YEARS. emma never thought about what she did and felt the need to apologize. so i have a hard time imagining what she said was sincere. there's no conspiracy about motives - she was right angry and hurt with what transpired and came to a point where she wanted accountability to be taken.

[rjalker]

The Murderbot Diaries and Gender: Not nearly as progressive as you think it is.

Edit: No, people, this is not an excuse for you to misgender Murderbot. Why do I even need to say this -.-

here's a list of things Martha Wells needs to do before The Murderbot Diaries can in any way be considered trans representation at all, let alone good trans representation. Feel free to add on anything I missed.

And keep this in mind: I am not human, I am nonbinary, I use it/its pronouns, and I have read other, older books by Martha Wells, I have seen more examples on her views regarding gender/sex than appear in The Murderbot Diaries. (I'm not saying this to like, one-up anyone, I'm just saying I've had to read through her protagonist arbitrarily assigning genders and pronouns to other characters and it was agonizingly bad to read, okay)

And if for whatever reason someone decides to steal this post and put it on Twitter, since apparently people have done that with my posts about books and shows in the past, (like, what the hell, people, you could have at least asked) let me just say: Martha Wells, hire trans and nonbinary people to read over your books for you before you publish them. These are very basic problems with very simple solutions.

---

(Archived read-more link)

1) Have Murderbot explicitly state that it uses it/its pronouns. Have some asshole try to assign Murderbot different pronouns as a way of patronizing it while pretending they're being respectful and nice. Show how absolutely bigoted and wrong this is. State it explicitly that Murderbot's pronouns are it/its and it hates being called by other pronouns.

2) Have a construct or bot that has not been altered by a human be trans in that they have a very definitively binary gender, even though they have the same "lack of gender or sex related parts" as Murderbot or any other bot. Give us a trans woman bot or construct. Give us a trans man bot or construct.

Preferably one who hasn't or doesn't alter their configuration at all until well after their gender and transness has been established.

Because lets set one thing straight: Martha Well's grasp of gender so far is very blatantly that sex = gender, or lackthereof.

As far as Martha Wells is concerned, Murderbot is agender because it has no "gender or sex related parts". This is an established pattern in her writing.

She is still very much on the train of "sex = gender", and is now just applying that "no sex = no gender". as the logical conclusion.

Except it's still the same transmisic idea, now just assigning gender (specifically, its lack thereof, because they have no sex) to bots and constructs. She is pretty much pointing at a brick wall and going "That thing is genderless".

Just like her protagonist Moon in the Books of the Raksura sees a person with breasts and goes "oh that person I thought was a man because of their deep voice is actually a woman. Got it." without ever once stopping to ASK, or even considering asking, even though he's literally interacting with hundreds of species who interact with hundreds of other species on the daily. If Martha Wells had any understanding of gender, none of these characters would bat an eye at explaining their gender to different species, or having different sets of pronouns for each species and group. Especially because they're all already speaking multiple languages. The failing is in her nonexistent understanding of gender beyond "gender = sex".

Martha Wells has Moon go "Breasts = woman, deep voice = man" and we're just supposed to go along with this because this is as far as her grasp of gender went when she was writing The Books of the Raksura.

And the same exact thing is happening in The Murderbot Diaries, except now she's gotten slightly better, by having the characters be genderless, instead of having the protagonist literally go around arbitrarily assigning genders and pronouns to everyone he meets. (And by "he" I am of course referring to Moon, not Murderbot.)

Except it's not actually better, because it's still the exact same problem. It's still the exact same form of transmisia, even though she's trying to make it work. It does not.

Martha Wells needs to learn that gender does not equal sex. She needs to have characters whose genders do not match their sex (or lack thereof). She needs to stop assigning characters genders based on their sex.

She needs to actually talk to and interact with and learn from trans people, especially nonbinary people. So many things in The Murderbot Diaries could have easily been avoided by just having a trans person read and go "hey just fix this thing quick" and it'd be done. Like, these are short stories for crying out loud. It wouldn't be difficult to fix these problems at all.

We need bot and construct characters who are binary trans.

We need more main, reoccurring human characters who are confirmed nonbinary, and we need more main reoccurring characters who are confirmed nonbinary specifically in ways that are not already socially established and accepted.

We need a character who is nonbinary who is from a planetary system where only male and female are recognized, no free pass with tercera--which literally translates to "third"-- already being a socially accepted mainstream thing. Having a gender trinary is not better than having a gender binary. Shoving people into three boxes is not better than shoving them into two.

Tercera could be a great idea as part of the world building, if it were one of many countless examples of both established and new nonbinary genders across many planetary systems.

And hell, for the binary bot or construct I mentioned earlier? If she wanted to show a character transitioning....ART literally has a fully equipped medical suite. ART or its drones could literally perform whatever gender-affirming surgery this bot or construct wanted.

3) again it goes with the above. Having characters list their genders (or rather, knowing Martha Well's view of gender what with all the reoccurring characters to date being cis, their sexes) in the feed is not enough. Especially when Murderbot lists its gender as "indeterminate" or "not applicable". That does not tell anyone anything about what pronouns it uses.

If someone lists their gender as "nonbinary" that does not tell you anything about what pronouns they use. Even if someone listed their gender as "man" or "woman" or "male" or "female" that literally does not tell you anything about what pronouns they use!

The characters should not be listing their sex (because let's be honest, that's what they're doing, because unless Martha Wells starts talking to trans people and educating herself about these sorts of things she's not going to suddenly reveal that one of the reoccurring human characters has actually been trans this whole time), they should be listing their pronouns! This is their internet profile! People need to know what pronouns to use for them!

Have Murderbot add it/its to its feed profile! Kill multiple birds with one stone! Explicitly state Murderbot's pronouns! Fix the fact that the characters list their sex on their profile rather than their pronouns! Metaphysically punch the transmisic readers in the face!

Because there are people reading these books who purposefully fucking misgender Murderbot because they think calling it by it's actual fucking pronouns is insulting! And that is an idea Martha Wells needs to snuff out! Explicitly! These people will literally argue with you that it's good for them to misgender the main character of this series!

4) Have one of the main reoccurring human characters (Pin-Lee, Ratthi, Gurathin, Mensah, Overse, Arada, ect.) come out as nonbinary. They figured out they were nonbinary from hanging out with Murderbot so often. Look at that! We have a main reocurring nonbinary human character whose gender does not equal their sex! Killing several birds with one stone!

They can literally even change their name and pronouns and medically transition if they fucking want because it's not like they don't live on Planet Free Healthcare™ and more importantly it's literally never too late to question or explore your gender and you're never too old or too anything to realize you're nonbinary and that is a kind lesson many people need to hear!

So many people think they aren't "allowed" to be nonbinary because they're "too old" or "been married for too long" or "had kids" or any other number of things that have absolutely nothing to do with whether or not you're nonbinary!

The only thing you have to do to be nonbinary is be nonbinary!

And again, we need constructs and bots that are binary trans as well! We need more explicitly trans human characters too, not just characters who we can literally only assume Murderbot is assigning they/them pronouns to since no one lists their pronouns in their feed profile, and Martha Wells has never bothered to say anything like "and their feed profile said they use they/them pronouns", so we literally just have to assume that Murderbot is assigning them pronouns but instead of being Moon and assigning everyone he or she, it's assigning people they/them like that's any better. Hint: it's not. It's the same problem but now with a slightly wider range.

Like. I love Martha Wells' writing. It's great. But she really needs to start talking to and listening to trans people because there are so many problems that have absurdly easy solutions.

She has improved since she wrote The Books of the Raksura, but it's not enough improvement for these books to be called trans representation at all, let alone good trans representation, not even considering great.

Murderbot isn't trans, it is the construct equivalent of being cis. It is a cis construct who agrees with the genderlessness it was assigned at construction. That is not trans representation. It's nonbinary representation, it's aroace representation, it's it/its pronoun user representation, but it's not trans representation, and the only reason it's aroace is, again, because it is a construct and has no sex. This is still literally sex = gender. Literally still that.

-

To summarize:

The Murderbot Diaries won't be representative of trans people until there are actually trans recurring characters, both human and nonhuman, binary and nonbinary. The Murderbot Diaries won't be representative of trans people until Martha Wells learns to stop equating sex with gender and the lack thereof with the lack thereof.

We need constructs and bots who are trans in binary male or female direction.

We need main reoccurring human characters who are nonbinary.

We need the characters to list their pronouns in their feed profile instead of their sex.

Martha Wells needs to talk to and listen to trans people if she wants her stories to actually be representative of trans people and our experiences.

She has improved since she wrote The Books of the Raksura, but considering they're atrocious when it comes to not being transmisic, that's not saying a lot, that's actually the bare minimum.

[opinated-user]

Have you seen her accusation masterpost on Tumblr? I did and while I don't know much about most of it, I do know that her avatar isn't lighter than her actual skin colour plus she has no excuse to be transphobic, it's still shitty to misgender someone

indeed, i have my own post responding to every point here: https://www.tumblr.com/opinated-user/699281425408655360/lily-orchard-accusations-masterpost-response?source=share||

some of her "defenses" are an admission of guilt with a flimsy excuse that nobody but her and other bigots would admit ("i mocked a trans woman's voice because i was going for mocking that trans woman"/"i misgendered a trans person because i don't like them", "i was rude and dismissive when someone asked me why my stream where i was planning to flash my body was 18+", "i didn't talked about the antisemitism of this show because i didn't felt like to", "i had a few slip ups like repeating a song with the n-word on it in the past and i haven't apoligized for it, but it's okay because it was on the past"), nothing that actually adresses the allegation ("i had a black girlfriend so i can't fetishize black women") or a complete misrepresentation of what people were actually accusing her for to make it seem more outlandish. the point about the avatar being "lighter" is still so... confusing why she thinks that is a defense at sll? first because it's not, everyone can see by themselves, and second because she continuesly admits that there's a difference between her skin tone and the avatar... she just refuses to explain why, when she already knows what her actual skin tone is. we know why of course. because she wants to be seen as brown to be more "authentically Native" (nevermind that only racists believe that being Native is all about skin tone and ignore the cultural/community aspect of it), more exotic, more "inherently interesting" than being a common pale skin person, both to use as a shield the next time someone calls her out for being a creep and refuse accountability for her racist ignorance. on top of probably fetishizing WOC in general. but if she's so pressed to use this new excuse, you'd think that she at least would bother creating the rest of the excuse. "yes, my skin tone is different than the avatar's because..." the only time she did tried to excuse it was to throw under the bus either Lizzy or her current wife, neither of them believeable anyway when we all know she had a tight grip over how the avatar should be.

[i-did]

Do you think trans Neil fics are just a way for people to enforce more heteronormativity into Andriels relationship? From what I’ve seen it just seems like an excuse for writers to feminise Neil more which is really harmful to trans male stereotypes. Not to mention the smut seems like an excuse to write about penis/vagina sex. Idk if I’m overthinking this but it’s the feeling I get and I’d appreciate someone else’s perspective on it

I think the fact that the vast majority of trans representation in fics is smut is pretty telling. I also am unfortunately nosey and back when I still read smut (I rarely do these days, it just makes me feel bad these days instead, haha) I would check out the author, and they were often women, presumably or openly cis since Fandom is an overwhelmingly (but not exclusively) AFAB space.

So far all the trans men I've personally spoken to have mentioned that they can't read any trans fics and actually actively avoid them.

NSFW LANGUAGE

There is also the discussion of language and misgendering of genitals in smut fics, as well as how differently the characters (who are being written as trans) become. Trans andrew fics are dominated by smut as well as writing him as a bottom and very sexual and ... okay I genuinely can't think of another word for this besides "cockslut" so sorry about the informality of language. But they wrote him as a cockslut, and same as neil. Trans men can be tops, and often are because of bottom dysphoria, and anal is still a thing trans men can enjoy, anyone can.

We have a pretty good idea how andrew and neil act during sexual acts together since we are shown andrew jerking neil off and andrew sucking neil off in the books. So when because they're afab they suddenly act very different during sex it can be... suspicious.

Its also important to discuss language used during smut fics as well as what is included and what isn't. Often chests are mentioned, not so often with top surgery in mind, and body hair isn't. Trans men on testosterone are very aware of their body hair and how it has changed, and usually proud of it. I think even a passing remark about how one of them (pre or post op) would have chest hair or a happy trail would be good to mention, when happy trails are often mentioned in cis smut but omitted in trans smut.

Also when having sex with a trans person (yes speaking from experience) it is best to openly and honestly discuss what they are comfortable with and what language they like. Consent is always important to be discussed and when/if your partner has dysphoria that is another element to be considered and discussed. Some trans women get dysphoric about anal, some don't, some trans men keep a shirt on some don't some people keep their socks on some people like some words that others don't. Its best to assume someone doesn't have a misgendering kink! Its not that common and all kinks should be discussed beforehand anyway. Dirty talk should also be discussed, what words are good to use vs not.

A lot of the language see in ftm trans smut (because there is next to no mtf trans smut) ((not that I think it would be much better but who knows I haven't read it)) refers to the genitals with dirty language associated with women (tits, pussy, cunt, etc) but doesn't mention the trans man's erection, in fact I haven't seen any mention T-cocks/T-dicks. Its also best to assume your partner doesn't like those words and use vague terms unless otherwise stated, using general words such as hole is still hot and also not misgendering their genitals. Some people do not see this as a form of misgendering, but not everyone does and the reason people I've talked to about this (and myself) don't read these fics is because the language makes them uncomfortable so we avoid it all together. (As well as the other problems discussed).

The fact that effects of testosterone are hardly mentioned makes me feel like these fics are more so existing for the often afab non mlm consumers of smut fics who use them as porn to get off to and increase their self insertablility. I'm honestly curious about this psychologically, I know some people don't realize they're trans until moments like this, but I also know fully confident cis and sometimes het women get off to gay porn.

Regardless, obviously writing trans neil is not problematic, and same as writing trans andrew fics. But its important to note how you or the author might have changed the characters canon personalities, presentation, reactions during sex and preferences during sex. And also why there is so much emphasis on sex, when people who are trans are trans not just during sex, but also... when they're not having sex, which is most of the time like everyone else. Its also important to note which one you choose to prefer being trans and why, I know a lot of non Americans who only use the word for binder as a chest binder and not a folder assumed neil was trans until it became apparent he wasn't written with the intention of so, but I've also seen people choose to have neil be trans because they think "trans men are just hotter" and if you're not a trans man,,,, maybe. Don't say that. Because that's fetishizing trans men.

END NSFW

Whatmack wrote a good fic where neil is trans and its not just a device for smut, in fact its not about his genitals and sex at all, its about WWI and is really good but mind warnings, its called "in flanders fields" i believe.

Also I'm told I'm an overthinker a lot but honestly? My mind is blank a lot of the time lmao. And then when its not blank I'm just... thinking. I don't think I'm an over thinker regardless of what others have told me lmao, I think they just don't realize how often I'm actually just vibing. Also "overthinking" can be good. Analyzing things and what they mean can be important and questioning stuff is also important. Obviously if you're getting anxious than overthinking isn't good and its overwhelming instead, but a little overthinking is good because some times I feel we under think things and don't analyze what they could mean.

When I have a reaction to something or an instinct idea about something I try to assess why. Do I hate Kora? Why? Do I think she's arrogant and unlikable? Or am I actually being misogynistic and potentially colorist against her, and if she were a white male character would i question her personality and actions as much as I do when she's a woc, much less be annoyed by them? (I love Kora, this is just an example lol)

Also sorry I keep answering these like always 3 am my time which means for a lot of you guys its even earlier in the morning, (whats up Australia, New Zealand, Europe, the Philippines, and other awake places)

[fly-flower-fanfics]

Can you do a Spencer Reid X Reader where the Reader is ftm and binds with ace bandages? The unsub can be targeting transgender people and targets the reader. Nothing too bad to the reader preferably but something happens to make the bandages visable. I know that binding with bandages is bad because I did it until I got a binder.

Sorry this took me so long. I’ve been out of it lately, so this is my first writing piece getting back into the swing of things, so I’m sorry if it’s bad. I hope this is something you were looking for!

Binding Secrets

Spencer Reid x Trans Male Reader

Warnings: ACE bandage binding. PLEASE don’t bind like this. 🥺

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This case was really stressful to me. It stressed me out more than other cases usually did. I’m sure the team has picked up on it, but I didn’t want to tell them why I was so stressed out. That was my secret and my secret alone.

There was no way I was going to be able to come out to the team. After I’ve gotten top surgery, then maybe, maybe, but certainly not now. Being transgender was a crime, it felt like. It was to this unsub apparently.

It was late and time for all of us to go home. The I could take these stupid ACE bandages off. I felt like my lungs were collapsing; it hurt to breathe. I knew that it wasn’t safe, especially for a job like mine where we have to be on the move a decent amount, but I hadn’t gotten around to buying a binder yet.

I was stopped by Spencer just before I got into my car, though. Part of me didn’t mind because I had a crush on the genius, but another part of me did mind because I was tired, and I just wanted to go home.

“What’s up, Spence?” I asked.

He hesitated a moment, shifting his weight uncomfortably from foot to foot. “I’m worried about you,” he said softly at first. He then cleared his throat. “You’ve been acting different lately, and I want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m okay,” I said with a soft smile. Was I? 

“Y/N, I can tell when you’re lying to me. You have a tell, just like everyone else. Please...”

I felt bad lying to him, But I couldn’t tell him. My throat tightened like I was going to cry. “I need you to drop it, Spence,” I said softly

“Why? Why won’t you talk to me?”

“Because I can’t, Spencer!” 

He shook his head, dropping his arms by his side. “This is exactly what I get when I trust someone; it gets thrown back in my face.”

“Spencer, that’s not what this fucking is!” I yelled at him, tears now streaming down my cheeks.

Spencer’s demeanor changed completely as he noticed my tears.

“It has nothing to do with you, Spencer,” I said, wiping at my face aggressively. I hated that I was crying so easily. But I knew it was because of my stress and how close I was to snapping. 

Truth was was that I was scared. I was scared that I would be the next victim. That I wouldn’t be safe in my own home. All because I was trans and some guy out there thought that that was a crime and needed to kill me for it.

“Y/N....”

I shook my head, holding up a hand. “Save it. I’m sorry for yelling at you. If you’ll excuse me, I need to go home now.” With that, I got into my car and left.

The next day, I was really anxious to see Spencer. I had already apologized for yelling at him, but that didn’t change the fact that I had yelled at him.

I went to the bathroom and grabbed my ACE bandage, looking at it sadly. I hated that stupid thing. I could feel it practically squishing my ribs and lungs. I hated it so much. I couldn’t just not wear it though. I didn’t need the team seeing my chest.

I began wrapping it around and secured it in place once I was finished. I took a breath and sighed. At least it wasn’t too bad in the beginning of the day.

I made my way to my car and began to drive to work. The anxiety of seeing Spencer returned. I felt bad. Maybe I should apologize again. I pulled into my parking spot and shook my head. No, if he still had beef with me, he would say so, right?

I walked to my desk and set my things down, going to grab a coffee. As I made it, I was already making a face because I knew how bad;y it would taste.

“You know, I have to make my coffee deliberately bad so I can drink it now,” I said to Morgan, who has just walked in. 

He laughed. “I know what you mean. However, I still like a good cup of joe.”

I chuckled softly and went back to my desk, looking over the case file. We had a pretty good idea who the unsub was. We had just been waiting on Garcia to get the right information about him. 

The team quickly left, leaving Spencer and me behind, as they went to catch the unsub.

My gaze turned toward the genius again. His hair looked soft as it framed his face. His beautiful eyes intently read whatever book he was reading. His perfect hands turned the pages every couple of seconds. 

Best not to disturb him.

I looked over the last bits of information as I was clearing off the board to make a little bit more room when I realized something. The gate. How had we missed that? The gates were his signature, doors to whatever he thought. I couldn’t figure out that part. But it made me realize that now, the team was going after the wrong guy.

I quickly grabbed my coat and ran out to my car. I had to catch this guy before he caught someone else. I swallowed hard as I threw my car into gear. Who else would be better bait for this guy than a trans man like myself?

I made my wait to the gate that was in the last picture and entered the abandoned house. This was where the last victim was found, but we had figured that he liked to revisit the crime scenes. I was just banking on the fact that he hadn’t revisited this one since it had been blocked off for a couple of days.

I drew my gun and tip-toed quietly through the halls. A squeaky floorboard gave away my position, and I froze. Had he heard? Was he even here? I shook my head and continued down the hallway.

I heard a noise from behind me. I turned, but I wasn’t able to see what or who it was before something hit me in the face and knocked me out.

I woke up, dazed and confused. I tried to move but realized that my arms were tied behind me and I was stuck to a pole. I jerked to try and free myself, but it was useless.

The unsub walked over to me, twirling a knife around his fingers. “Y/N L/N, I am familiar with you. The only trans member in the BAU, isn’t that right?” 

I sneered at him, still trying to free myself. “So the fuck what? How do you even know who I am?”

“Oh, I know a lot more than you may think,” he said, walking up to me and lifting my chin with the knife. “But that’s all surprise for later on.” 

He slashed at the sleeve of my coat with his knife. “First, we play a game. It’s called Tell Me The Truth Or I’ll Take One Article Of Clothing At A Time.”

“Long title of a stupid ass game,” I muttered to myself, mentally cringing. Sometimes I hated that I was always so snippy.

He slashed at the other sleeve of my coat. “Got a mouth on you, don’t you?”

His stupid little game continued as I tried my best to keep my mouth shut. But it seemed like no matter what I did, he was slashing at my clothing. There was no sign of sexual assault on the victims, but did he do this to all of them? Somehow, I couldn’t seem to remember anything about this unsub.

My knees shook as fear began to take over my body. What would happen when he shredded my clothing to the point that there was nothing left of them? Would he go to my skin next? One of the victims was all slashed up, I think. I shook my head, trying to keep m mind clear. I needed to be safe long enough for someone to find me.

A hand around my neck made me look up and realize the unsub was behind me now, holding the knife to my neck. My eyes fell to a person standing at the base of the stairs: Spencer Reid. My heart filled with joy. Thank god for Spencer and his big brain.

“Put the gun down or I’ll kill her,” the unsub said, pressing the knife deeper into my throat.

I winced, but at the misgendering, not the knife. 

“He’s a he,” Spencer replied, holding his gun in the same position as he was five seconds ago. 

“I said, put the damn gun away!” 

The knife bit my skin, causing me to cry out. This made Spencer put his gun away. 

“All right, all right, look. The gun’s away. It’s away. Let him go.”

“I’m not letting her go. People like her need to be fixed. They’re mentally ill.”

My stomach tightened at the midgenderment. It sucked because he was going to tell Spencer my secret. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out everything that was happening. Things would be okay. They had to be okay. I had to believe that. I had to believe that I’d make it out of here. I prayed Spencer wouldn’t tell the rest of the team my secret. 

All I ever wanted was to be seen as a real boy...

The next thing I knew, my hands were being untied and there was a slight ringing in my ears. I looked down next to me to see the unsub, dead. Spencer must have been able to convince him to get far enough away from me for him to draw his gun and shoot the guy before either one of us got stabbed.

“Y/N, are you all right?” I nodded, and Spencer pulled me into a hug. “I’m so glad you’re okay. We’ll get you new clothing. Do you want to come to my house?”

I guess it was obvious to Spencer that I didn’t want to be alone. I nodded silently and he led me out to his car. “We’ll come back for yours later,” he promised me. 

At this point, I didn’t really care. My head hurt from being knocked out, and my chest was aching all over again.

Our car ride was mostly silent, but Spencer spoke up. “How did you know it was him?”

“The gate,” I replied. “Something about the gates never lined up in my head. But then it reminded me of why he always kept the eyes open. They were like portals. To what, I’m not sure...”

Spencer nodded and hesitated before speaking again. “You’re binding unsafely...”

I didn’t know what he was talking about until i looked down. My shirt was shredded, and it was easy to see the ACE bandages that was supposed to be hidden. I cursed myself, squeezing my eyes shut. 

“Please don’t tell anyone, Spence. I don’t want them to know I-I didn’t want anyone to know...”

“Is that why this case bothered you so much?”

I didn’t say anything, but my silence was probably the clearest answer. Spencer didn’t say anything else until we got to his house. He led me inside and sat me down on the couch. 

“I can grab you some clothing to borrow for tonight, but I need you to take that bandage off. You’re going to ruin your changes for top surgery. It can seriously hurt you. it can crack or break ribs and-” 

“I know, Spencer,” I said softly. “But I can’t. I’m scared...”

“My shirt’s will be big enough on you. I promise. And if you want, I’ll stay in my room all night so I won’t see you without it on. You...” He stopped a moment. He closed his eyes for a second before looking at me again. “You can borrow one of my old binders tomorrow. It may not fit perfectly, but it’s so much better than that bandage.” Spencer sat next to me on the couch.

I couldn’t believe my ears. Spencer....Spencer had just come out to me as trans. I couldn’t believe it. He was trans this whole time too? My emotions welled up in my chest, and I felt like crying all over again.

“I love you,” I blurted out. Immediately, I felt myself blush, and I regretted my words.

Spencer only smiled at me. “I love you; I always have.”

I looked down at my lap, feeling a tear drip down my cheek. “Spence, I’m scared... I-I love you. But I’m so scared...”

“Of what?”

“Of what the team will say. That...that you’ll hate me for being trans...”

“Y/N, I can’t hate you for being trans when I’m trans myself.” Spencer took my hands in his. “If you want to leave the confessions alone for tonight, I understand. You’ve been though a lot. We can talk more in the morning when you have a clearer mind. Just promise me you’ll take that ACE bandage off.”

“I promise,” I said quietly. 

Spencer stood and pressed a light kiss onto my forehead. “Thank you. Now let me go grab you those clothing so you can turn in for the night. I’ll be here if you need anything at all.” He got up and began to walk down the hallway to his bedroom.

“Spencer?” I called out.

He stopped and looked back at me from the doorway. “Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

[normal-thoughts-official]

Omg I remembered being upset about Lucas story but I was also not paying that much attention because he (accidentally) misgenders Andy at the beginning and I was just like 🔪🔪🔪🔪 catch this hands, for a few chapters (which looking back maybe maybe I took it too personal because a few months later I had a gender crisis hahahshs gender is hard) , also I was romancing Andy, Ava and Stacy <3

oh ur valid. honestly i always forget that part happens because it was so?????? choices blease u dont have to introduce a character being trans by having a random accidental misgendering (that doesnt even make much sense cuz andy's been out for a long time, like, cmon). i dont hold it against lucas because i think he handled it well - he apologized and didnt do it again and didnt try to make excuses and he seemed genuinely sorry so its not like he was Evil, but also like ur valid fjdndidnd especially if it was sensitive for u at the time, u know? and i would have definitely understood if andy had been more upset at him, too

but it was hard to me not to relate to lucas as well because his plotline hits sooo hard to me. my parents arent crazy like his but i always felt the pressure to do everything and be Perfect and thats how i burnt out at 18 and got into a huge depression slump for a year lmao. plus hes latino so theres that. and hes just... such a cute and fun dork. also canonically bi! thats hard to come by, esp in choices where they seem to think having ur LI even look at someone not ur MC's gender is a crime or some shit. anne ways

but even if i didnt like lucas i just cant let that plotline go, as an educator. like holy shit, what happened to him was awful and it was the school's (and his family's) fault, not his. the whole book treats it like lucas has done some terrible immoral thing but what he was doing is no different from self harm. it was making him anxious, affecting his health, his sleep, his wellbeing, and he was doing it because the circumstances made him feel like he had to to be able to perform. and somehow hes the bad guy who needs to Repent for this awful mistake?????

like this is such an awful victim blaming plotline and its such bullshit and its all so no one will question such an awful school system that literally pushes children beyond their limit until they break and puts academic performance and competition above all else. like as a teacher if i found out a single one of my students was taking focus pills to keep up with the pressure i would cry my eyes out, then fucking raise hell with administration until we got them the support they needed AND rethought the curriculum organization so the pressure would be lower and it didnt happen again. one student sacrificing their health for school is one too many

like when i got to that part i just started crying immediately because GOD id fucking kms if i found out i or the organization i work for was doing this to our students. and i fully expected mr cooper to get him help?????? like especially with his whole speech about the shaky hands and trouble sleeping, i was like Obviously this kid is a victim of the meat grinding capitalist school system and as an educator mr cooper will want to get him psychological help. INSTEAD he was like lucas I will get you expelled and call tje lolcueBDHDBDUDBD CALLING THE POLICE ON A BROWN STUDENT BECAUSE HE WAS SELF MEDICATING ARE YOU KIDDING ME. and then i expected choices to have us be like "lucas im so sorry this happened to you" but instead all the options were super judgy and clearly taking "lucas is in the wrong" as the premise of it all I WANTED TO DIE

and its suuch a dangerous message to send ppl like u r literally naturalizing victim blaming with that shit and it's all so no one questions why the school system is making literal KIDS burn out in high school anyway. and we could have had such an amazing plotline discussing how this is a systemic issue in a society that puts ppl at constant competition with each other and is demanding more and more productivity until everyone's mental health breaks. and we could even have a discussion about how racism plays into this and how as a brown student lucas knew he had to be perfect and have a spotless record and be the best out of everyone to get a shot at an academic life and couldn't afford to have a single spot in his record (much less a drug-related one as a latino) because he knew thatd be the end for him. instead we got............... victim blaming. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Im okay. im okay. im fine. i am FINE

anyway

but also ur valid <3 i like stacy but i was never interested in her as a LI, like her interactions with MC felt kinda bland to me? like not romantically appealing, idk. i think at least part of that is because i played with a male MC so his interactions with stacy just felt like.... idk bland heterosexuality? i definitely cared for her and wanted to help her but i couldnt ship her with MC, so yeah, it was andy ava and lucas for me didnfif