#lucas thomas

[rosesnink]

The Way To Rome, Chapter Two: New Routines

Author's Notes

After months being on a depression slump, here I am, back on my TWTR groove! Exams start tomorrow, but the muses were faster. Oh well!!!

English isn't my first language, so please forgive any typos/grammar mistakes

My OC's Choices sprite was made by the talented @peonyblossom all credits to them!!

If you'd like to be tagged on these series or in the It Lives stuff in general, send me an ask!

Summary: After Tallulah's anniversary, it's time for Faye to finally face college, but the forces of nature just don't seem to agree with her...

Word Count: 1.8k

Category: Angst, hurt-comfort, horror, nightmares, grief

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Lucas Thomas x F!OC (Yun Faye), mentions of Stacy Green x F!MC (Tallulah Hunter)

CW: This series will deal with themes of death, grief, horror, sexual themes and strong language, and other recurring themes of the It Lives Anthology, including the It Lives Project. Reader's discretion is advised.

Book: It Lives in the Woods

Beep beep. Beep beep.

Faye opened her eyes, sighing as her senses and body awakened. The fun was over, and it was time to prepare for the real challenge: college. Throwing back the covers, she got up and yawned as she scratched her head.

After going to the bathroom and brushing her teeth, she brushed her hair, did a simple makeup with some blush, a small eyeliner and lip gloss. Spraying her coconut perfume, she put her MacBook inside of her bag alongside her charger and went straight to the cafeteria for a good cheese bagel with its seasonings and a strong coffee. Faye had always been a morning person, she enjoyed how foggy and silent Westchester looked, the birds singing in the distance, the fresh air and how the sun wasn’t out yet, but it wasn’t dark either. A calming, comforting grey. Paying for the bagel and coffee, she started walking towards the campus. People were either groggy or already running, laughing, talking and simply living. Back in high school, people in Westchester would want your head for being so energetic. But that was the magic of college: it was not like high school.

Suddenly, woman with familiar blonde hair and blue eyes laughed with an equally redhead woman, both talking about something. She froze. No. It couldn’t be them. They were dead. They were both dead. She had seen them die.

She shook her head. Her brain was playing tricks on them. Jane hadn’t even been ten when she died, and she had buried Tallulah a year ago, and visited her grave a few weeks ago. Yet, she could feel their absence more than ever. Not when she had died. Not when Redfield killed them both. Not while watching her coffin be laid six feet down. Not during her anniversary. Today. Right here. Right now.

Her chest swelled, and her throat closed, her body going limp. Tears threatened to drop, and her body didn’t feel hers. She was sure she was about to collapse when a familiar pair of steady hands steadied her and embraced her “Easy,” it was Lucas, “it’s alright. I miss them too.”

She didn’t even remember why she was mad at him, or why she didn’t want to even breathe the same air as him. She simply laid on his chest and cried silently, clinging to him like a lifeline.

“Why them, Lucas?”

“I’m afraid we’ll never know, Faye.”

She sniffled, grabbing his napkin as she wiped her tears and took a few steady breaths. He stroked her back gently, drawing comforting ghosts on it, soothing her. She looked at him, and for the first time, didn’t see the man who broke her heart, or the one she fell for. He was tired, sad and full of regret, just like her. Two broken children bearing in their backs the pain of losing a piece of their past, someone they loved for so long, it just left a gaping hole in their hearts.

“Let me walk you to class.”

“Please.”

He walked her there, and even got her a good seat, and squeezed her arm “If you need someone to talk to, or just to cry with, my number hasn’t changed.”

She nodded, squeezing his shoulders before he left to his own class.

At first, it was hard to focus on class, but then she felt Tallulah a few feet away, encouraging to do so, and found strength in it. It was probably stupid, but grief was odd like that. And as long as one found comfort in that oddness, it was okay to lean on it for a bit.

After a long, emotionally exhausting day, she dragged herself to the room and closed the door, and opened her computer to start working when she saw a message of Stacy that read ‘vc me when u get back from class? Xx’ and decided that talking to her would be nice. They were very different people, but they understood each other very well, and had been on good terms during cheer.

The window opened to a red-eyed Stacy with run-down mascara and a weak lip, but nevertheless smiling at her with her familiar blue orbs “Hey, girl. Tough day, huh?”

Faye chuckled “We both felt the same despite being a few states apart, didn’t we?”

Stacy sighed “I don’t know about you, but I tried it with my first class, then had a whole meltdown and called Connor crying like crazy because… because it hurts, Faye.”

Tears threatened to spill them both “You think the same as all of us: it’s not fair.”

Stacy started crying “She should be here, Faye. In my bed, talking, cuddling, watching our annual rewatch of ‘You’ve Got Mail’, not six feet deep into the mud because of that rat’s delusions.”

Faye finally said it out loud “What was he thinking, that we’d perform the ritual and a grown Jane would come back, and we’d all eat cake and be merry?!”

“Right! Noah clearly did not think of anyone but his own desires. And Tallulah—,”

“Was too good to let him face the consequences of his actions. I told her, Stace, I told her a million times that her kind, golden heart would be the death of her!”

Faye realized what she said, and covered her mouth. Waiting for Stacy to blow up at her, she closed her eyes, but instead met a sigh “But that wouldn’t make her our Tallulah. My Tallulah was always so kind, gentle, brave and full of love and life…”

“I’m sorry, that was too far.”

“Maybe. But I think it’s time I accept that. Besides, I told her too, back when we were children, that the adult world was ‘full of meanies’ and it’d eat her alive.”

“Yet, that didn’t stop her from being kind and caring. I cannot see her as a cold-blooded murderer, no matter how much Noah deserves it.”

Stacy sniffled “If only he had learned from her instead of looking back, huh?”

Both stared into the distance, sniffling in silence and remembering Tallulah. The exchanged looks in the halls after that night, silently celebrating when she succeeded, watching her change her colors from pink, to blue, to red, to lilac. To think to herself how well it suited her, to hear her laugh or hum her quirky songs in the distance, telling Britney to screw off, watching her come late to class because a hungry cat wanted her to pet them, or because the petting session with Hilda had prolonged itself, or when she missed a day because she was sick, and how charged the air was in her absence.

Even if they didn’t talk, Lula was always there, lingering in a corner, and every time she felt the fear and guilt, she could always watch Tallulah from a distance, eating her spanakopita in peace as her headphones vibrated of how high the volume was.

“You know you’ll be deaf when you’re forty if you keep it up, right? Sooner, even.” A thirteen-year-old Faye told Tallulah. It had been the first time that they had talked properly since Jane died and both went into a depression and PTSD slump. Tallulah removed them and shrugged.

“The thrum comforts me. Having noise all around my ears does. Silence…”

“Reminds you of that night.”

Tallulah nodded, her black highlights based on Avril Lavigne now looking less bright. Faye squeezed her hand “I don’t like complete silence either, but not too much noise. That’s why I always put on some water noises. Reminds me of home, and I sleep easier without the nightmares.”

“…Do you see her? Lying there, eyes wide, looking at you for help?”

Faye nodded “And Redfield there, looming, smiling creepily as she dies.”

Tallulah took her hand and smiled at her “I’m glad I’m not alone in that.”

Faye hugged her tightly “Never, Lula.”

That had been the last time they had hugged one another. When they found each other last year, she was too hung up on her jealousy of Lucas that she lost her chance of reconnecting. She had her right there, and she had taken her for granted, all because of a boy who’d never love her back.

“Tallulah had always been there, now that I think about it,” she mused, breaking the silence “I could always find her in her spots every time I felt overwhelmed, but now…”

“Her absence feels as heavy as your whole body? Yeah. I looked for her, on the way back. To see her in the entry stairs, or the theater, or the back of the cafeteria, but then I remembered that this isn’t Westchester, and Lula’s gone. Forever.”

“Yeah…”

Knock knock.

Faye looked up to see her dormmates with something in their hands asking for her to come “I should go. But you take care, and shoot me a text if you need anything.”

“Okay. Tell Lucas I said hi.”

“I don’t—,” But she had already hung up.

She sighed, and looked at her dormmates: Silvia, from Massachusetts, Chandini, an exchange student from India and Sky, their non-binary dormmate from New Zealand.

“We saw that you were feeling down, and then heard that your friend passed away, so we decided to bake you cookies.”

“I baked them,” Chandini responded, and pointed at Silvia “you scrolled all through the Marshall case and Sky stood there like that one Robert Pattinson meme.”

Faye chuckled “They smell nice. Come in, tell me about yourselves.”

They talked for a while, exchanging tales of their homes and lives, and laughed at some oddities from professors of their majors and its students, and all was well until Connor texted her ‘turn on the tv rn!! news of noah dropped”. She frowned but went to the living room of the TV.

“As you were telling us, fugitive Noah Marshall, accused of killing fellow classmate Tallulah Hunter a year ago, has been seen in New York running away on a getaway car with an unknown man, allegedly stealing a worthy possession. The police are now looking for any witness who may have seen him or may have reached out to them. Here are the phone numbers to call if anyone spots him. Catching him is crucial, and the Oregon government offers 5,000$ of reward to whoever turns him in.”

Silvia placed a hand on her shoulder “How do you feel, Faye?”

“…If that rat even approaches this school, it’s on sight.”

She was back at the threshold of that cave. In there, Tallulah sat on the grass, her dress ripped to shreds, her hair messy and tears in her eyes, a haunted expression on her face. Faye ran to her, but a barrier seemed to stop her. Tallulah looked up “You left me, Faye. Again. Left me alone. Trapped, with it.”

“Who?! Talk to me, Lula!”

Then, Redfield appeared behind her. Slowly, the monster grabbed her neck and scalp, and Tallulah gasped. Faye screamed, trying to get through “No! Nooo! Not again! Leave her alone! Take me!”

But the monster had taken over her. It looked at her through those powerful blue eyes, void and lifeless. Then, it lunged at her. All Faye could do was scream.

[gaiuskamilah]

lucas and cassie for @rainesenator birthday bash ♡

happy birthday ysa!! ILYYY sana mas maraming outing, foodtrip, concert etc mapuputahan natin magkasama LABYU imagine mo nalang yung sobrang haba na copypasta rito gosurf50 ganon HAHA

timelapse :3

[whatisreggieshortfor]

ANOTHER HORROR BOY 🤩🤩

Lucas from ILITW and his boyfriend Sanctum (yes there’s a naming theme for my MCs) a couple years past the events of ILITW, around the time of ITLB

Sanctum pursues a career as a conservationist, working closely with Lucas in terms of policies and such regarding wildlife etc etc

During a very important campaign period, the two are largely separated due to work. Can we get the first night in a month (or longer should you decide) where they finally get to have dinner and sleep in the same bed ✨

Hi bestie 😀

saving nature

Lucas x MC

[peonyblossom]

How about Lucas from ILITW for the character bingo?

honestly don't have many opinions about him right now. will probably develop more after i do my lucas-romancing playthrough :)

[jace-duh]

husbands. (my mc.)

[spacetravels]

i mentioned time loop au . i was gonna draw proper things but i forgor. anyway mc keeps repeating the events of the book and just can’t quite figure out how they’re supposed to break the loop and save everyone (the cruel joke is that they can’t)

[kald-dal-art]

Remember when I made ILITW/Until Dawn crossover art, fun times. So why not revisit this AU with slightly better drawing skills this time around.

Also have watched a lot of Until Dawn let’s plays lately as well so that was part of it.

[garrusknight]

Ask Game: You played It Lives Within? How did your MC looked like? Their name and Love Interest?

This is my It Lives Within MC!

His name is Oscar Aquino ('Scar for short) and he loves Abel!

Also a while back I made an edit of all my It Lives LIs!

(I wonder if I have a type...)

[itlivesproject]

Imagine an adorable (adorkable) nerdy trio of Abel, Lucas and Tom. Just them rambling about their respective interests and fields of expertise (history and archaeology, ground water acidification and mechanics)

Everyone knows to steer clear of them when they’re all together because the conversation will be nearly unintelligible to most normal people and will also go on for hours.

[theoriginaltortuga]

ilaw Day 7: i didn’t have anything specific so instead have a snip from a hopefully longer story about what Reina’s friendships look like now that they’ve been resurrected

Lucas did not want to watch Chester. He appreciated the dog greatly for fighting for them during homecoming and getting minimal monster drool on his car’s upholstery, but he still did not want to watch him.

“Please, Lucas. You’re my only hope,” Reina said, blinking up at him with wide brown eyes. “He’s really well behaved and doesn’t have a digestive system, he just needs somewhere to stay.”

Lucas sighed. He knew the moment he’d opened the door to see Reina that he’d cave. Everyone had trouble saying no to them these days and they knew it. “There’s really no one else?”

“Jeremy’s in Nevada, Cordelia’s in Montreal, Ava’s busy with the coven, Chester hates Noah because of Homecoming and Connor because he was a horror, and Andy’s going to be with me, please watch my skelo-dog.” Reina finished by throwing his arms out towards Chester who sat beside him panting with a curious head tilt.

Next time, Lucas was leaving the door shut. “Fine.”

“Yes! You’re the best, Lulu!”

“Don’t–” Lucas was interrupted by a bag being shoved into his arms.

“His toys are in there, and his watering can and flower food are in here.” Reina put another bag around Chester’s neck before shoving the dog inside and closing the door on him and Lucas. “I’ll be back Monday morning!”

And so Lucas was left alone with a monster dog for the weekend. What was his life?

@ila-appreciationweek

[anonymous1038]

Knight and Prince

@ila-appreciationweek day 4

There was always something about Lucas that drew Jasper in, ever since they met during childhood.

Jasper wasn’t exactly a smart kid back then. He was kind and sweet, but certainly not smart. Half the time he failed to submit fully completed homework because it was too complicated for him to understand.

But one day, this kid came along and helped him with his homework and stopped him from getting into trouble with the teacher.

It was a newly transferred boy from another kindergarten. Lucas Thomas.

Jasper admired him, all things considered. How he was smart but also helpful and kind. Other smart people he met were snooty and unpleasant to talk to, but Lucas was different.

They eventually became friends, and joined with their other childhood friends to form a great group, up until Jane’s death and they all split apart.

But before they did, Jasper felt something around Lucas. Something that never left him even years later.

Ava, Stacy and Andy loved to make fun of him for it. They always say he has a crush on him, but he never had to courage to tell him about his feelings, of how he felt warm and fuzzy and safe around him and how he wants to keep holding hands on their way back from school when his parents couldn’t pick him up.

One of his biggest regrets was not acting on his feelings back then.

Years later in high school, they found a way to reconnect again. Jasper found out about his struggles with his parents’ expectations and the drastic measures he took to try and keep up with them. He found out that even the supposed perfect people can fall into dark places.

But he was there to be a guiding light for him.

“Your parents put unreasonable expectations on you. Of course you would crack under the pressure!”

“I’ll be here with you. Withdrawal’s probably gonna suck but I’m going to be here for you. You deserve to relax. You deserve to be happy.”

He guided him out of that dark place, and back into the light. He saved him. Kinda like how a knight saved the princess in fairytales. Except, fairytales weren’t real. They were fabrications made up to hide the dark truth behind monsters that roam in the woods.

Jasper wished to protect Lucas from those monsters.

(Sometimes, back then, when they were all together, Jasper joked that he could be the knight saving Lucas the prince from a horrifying dragon. Ava would say that he would die foolishly in the process, and Jasper would retort, saying that he’ll come back to him like in The Princess Bride. Because love always conquered all.)

And he did.

At the cost of his life.

.~.

Jasper Bright was a simple kid to the eyes of many.

To Lucas, he was more than just another one in the crowd. To him, he was the sweetest kid to ever roam around, the light that lit up the darkness surrounding him.

In their first meeting, when he saw Jasper, little Jasper with unshaved, brown hair, struggling to answer a few questions for their math homework, he couldn’t help but help him. He knew not everyone can be as intelligent as him, so he did what he can to help those around him.

At first, he just wanted to leave it at that. A simple encounter that wouldn’t become something more.

Then, Jasper said he wanted to be his friend. He couldn’t refuse.

He felt so happy when he was with him, how he wants to make everyone happy and laugh, how he considers himself as Jane’s best friend, how he likes doing little dances when listening to music...everything about him was extraordinary to him.

Sometimes, he feels his face flush when’s around, or his palms start to get sweaty when he speaks with his lovely voice, but it’s normal. Definitely normal.

When they split apart, one of his biggest regrets was not admitting that what he felt for Jasper wasn’t normal.

Without his friends, his parents dominated his life. They kept pushing him until he felt the pressure starting to collapse on him, until he found that the only way to live up to them was to use his mother’s focus pills. He was terrified of someone finding out what he did, of the repercussions, of everything really. He thought there was no way out.

But Jasper came in and helped him when he was at his lowest.

“That doesn’t excuse what I did...”

“...you’re right. I’m going to be okay. I’m going to be okay...I’ll be okay, with you here.”

He guided him out of that dark place, and back into the light. He saved him. Kinda like how a knight saved the princess in fairytales. Except, fairytales weren’t real. They were fabrications made up to hide the dark truth behind monsters that roam in the woods.

Lucas wished to protect Jasper from those monsters.

(”How come I’m not the knight?” Lucas asked, back when things were more calm, with no death, no trauma.

Jasper giggled. “You’re so proper! That’s why you’re a prince!” He takes his hands into his, unsuspecting to the heat now covering his face because of this.

“But what if the knight gets hurt Or...?”

“Then the prince can save the knight. But maybe it happens in another storybook? Besides, if the knight is gone, then the knight will come back! Like in that movie! Love always conquers all!”)

In the end, the knight gave his life to protect the prince.

The prince grieved his death.

.~.

Moving on was difficult.

Especially when you keep having nightmares about your trauma.

It was always the same one, and somehow, they keep getting worse despite remaining the same.

Lucas would dream that he was back in the ruins, on the night of homecoming (the night Noah betrayed them and killed...him) and see Jane’s spirit looming over Jasper.

Sweet, understanding Jasper, who tried to reach out, to fix what he supposedly broke ten years ago.

Then Noah came, and stabbed him in the heart. Shadows would envelope him and look back at him with wide, terrified, horrified eyes.

“Please...save me...”

Lucas would try - he would try so hard.

But no matter what he did, he couldn’t save him. He would be consumed, his body in the middle of their seats.

And then he would wake up.

If he was honest, the only reason he hasn’t gone mad would be college and Dan, who he talks to on the daily for therapy.

Jasper taught him how to ask for help. He wasn’t going to let that lesson be wasted.

He was about to press on Dan’s number when he received another call from someone else. He didn’t think about it much when he answered it and held the phone up to his ear.

“H-”

“Jasper’s still alive.”

Normally, that voice would’ve prompted him to end the call immediately, but hearing those three words, three words, stopped him.

“What did you say?”

“Come to the ruins. I promise it’s not a trap. Here I even have some proof.”

A few moments later, before Lucas considers hanging up on Noah, another voice comes in. One that is very familiar, but unfamiliar all the same.

“...Lucas...?”

.~.

It was the middle of the night, and classes are supposed to start early tomorrow, but Lucas got into his car and drove all the way over to the woods.

The same woods that carry a dark secret.

The same woods that took someone (two people) away from him.

He started towards the ruins, a pocketknife held tightly in one hand and a flashlight in the other. Last time he went towards those ruins, he got tricked into playing a game where he could have died by a friend who also got his boyfriend killed.

He surpassed those feelings and memories, forcing himself to go towards that familiar structure.

When he finally arrived, he saw an old friend.

“Noah.”

That name feels forbidden to say.

Noah turns around when the beam of light from the flashlight came his way.

“Hey Lucas.”

“You said Jasper’s still alive. Where is he?” Lucas tightens his grip on the pocketknife, wondering if all of this is just a trick to give him false hope. Or just some dream he hasn’t woken up from.

Noah turns to look at the trees. “Jasper? You can come out now.”

From the trees, a shadowy figure melts out of them and forms into a familiar body of shadows, glowing eyes looking at him curiously.

This wasn’t Jane. Jane moved on.

This wasn’t Redfield. Redfield moved on.

“...Lucas...?”

“...Jasper? Is that you?”

Lucas drops the pocketknife without even realizing, his hand stretching towards his wispy hands. He felt a swirl of emotions go through his head as he wonders if this is even real.

That Jasper Bright is still alive.

“...I am...Jasper...” The ghostly figure darkens with sadness, his wispy hand entangling with his. “...I...think...?”

Panic coursed through him momentarily. Then was replaced when a thought came to mind, hoping that it’ll help his memory.

“Do you remember when we were kids? You always say that you were a knight who would save me, a prince, from a terrifying dragon.”

“I...save you?”

“That’s right. You saved me, actually. And now...I’m going to save you.”

“...save me...”

Jasper’s eyes glowed blue, a ghostly grin on his face.

“Lucas...save...me...”

.~.

The next three years were difficult.

Lucas spent more time researching ghosts and rituals than he does on his studies, unable to let the feeling of hope escape him again.

He just couldn’t leave Jasper like that. Not alive but not dead, with the possibility of turning into something violent like Jane, with the possibility of hurting people.

He won’t let him lose himself.

But when the ritual didn’t work the first time, his hopes were dashed.

He spent his time in his studio apartment, unable to sleep as he wonders what went wrong, and if this was his last chance to save Jasper.

And it didn’t work.

He considers Connor’s advice on moving on and look at the people who’re still here with him. All his other friends are still alive, trying to move forward with their lives.

If Jasper was actually dead, then he probably would’ve joined them.

But because he isn’t, he can’t move on. Not yet at least.

But with the last of his hope gone, there wasn’t much he could do anymore. Other than grieve a future he could’ve had with Jasper.

Then, one night, at three in the morning, Noah called him to inform that the ritual will work this time. Because Jasper’s soul is whole again.

He immediately got into his car and drove to the cabin.

Hope began to burn once again, anxiety pooled in his stomach as they recite the incantation once again.

The wind had began to pick up, and it was so fast that it created a cyclone that wrapped around Jasper’s wispy body and lifted him into the air. For a moment, Lucas was terrified for him, irrational thoughts clouding his mind as he thought that the vortex could kill him instead of reviving him.

“Jasper!”

But as the vortex died down, he got a glimpse of what was really happening.

“Oh...”

“My...”

“God.”

Bones snapped into place, skin and flesh covered the body, until finally he was no longer a ghost.

The wind dies down, and Jasper, fully human, falls to the ground.

Lucas immediately rushes to his side, taking his head into his lap as overwhelming joy and relief filled every part of his body.

“Jasper! Jasper you’re here! Oh my god you’re here- sweetie I-”

He cuts himself off when he hears a groan, and he leans in to catch what he’s saying.

“What was that?”

“...water...”

Connor rushes to the cabin to grab some water bottles, and Noah tosses him a towel for him to wrap around Jasper’s shivering body.

A few moments later, Connor comes back with the bottles. Lucas helps him drink until he coughs after a few sips.

It hurts his heart.

“He’s completely exhausted and probably doesn’t remember what happened to him.” Ava looks at him with pity and concern. “You should bring him back to the cabin, I’ll check on him in the morning.”

Lucas nods, and looks back down at Jasper as his eyes open the slightest bit and his lips curl up into a smile.

“Lucas...I’ve missed you.”

“Pretty sure I’ve missed you more.”

Jasper laughs, and before his eyes close again, he lets out one last sentence.

“...you saved me...”

When Jasper’s unconscious again, Lucas strokes his hand across his cheek.

“I saved you...you’re safe now. I’ll take care of you.”

At long last, the prince no longer grieves.

At long last, the knight is saved.

[choices-binglebonkus]

It literally has Lucas from ILITW’s name on it

[rainesenator]

[art-and-hearts]

Go to your bullies party and kiss the class president? Hell yeah.

[fireferretstakeall]

More reasons to romance this nerd. This specific scene.

[marshallmallows]

take what you can get (part 1)

lucas thomas x gn!devon

summary: for devon, he’ll take anything he can get. (aka lucas gets his first b-minus and thinks about his long-lost love.)

angst, fluff

mentions of drugs/allusions to drug abuse, mentions of death

a/n: hello!!! this is my first ilitw fic so go easy on me. please tell me if i missed any content warnings! this is a rewrite of the scene with him at the end of ilitw showing one year into the future :]

-

Now that he’s in college, Lucas likes to think that the old grade-obsessed and self-destructive version of himself is far behind him, tucked into the pocket of his sweater that he never wears anymore.

But no one can ever truly change that quickly, and the lingering obsessive qualities of his past self follow him like a ghost. And personally, he’s seen enough ghosts for a lifetime.

And that’s why, when he stands in line and picks up his paper on Professor Bhatt’s desk, finding that he received a B-minus on his first paper of the semester–and the first B-minus of his life, he tries, arduously, not to freak out. He steps out of the line with his mind running at a mile a minute and lets his intrusive thoughts win for just a moment as he thinks back to his pseudo-savior back in his senior year of high school.

He would never go back to that time in his life even if someone put a bullet to his head, and even that wouldn’t be the scariest thing that’s ever happened to him. It’s unsettling to think that it only happened a year ago.

But after his mind briefly remembers the numerous pill bottles and pages of false prescriptions, it lands on something–someone else. His real savior during the hell that was senior year.

Devon.

Words, which are something that Lucas usually is so eloquent with, can’t even begin to describe Devon. They were the person there for him when his self-destruction was at its worst, with the things on his plate piling themselves up by the minute and the effects of the amphetamine meddling with the fear and anxiety that Redfield provided. They were the one to convince him to throw away his falsified prescription and they were the one to instill a bravery in him that he still doesn’t know how to get back to this day. He could only be brave with Devon, in the brief and short time that they were able to love one another. The time that should’ve been longer.

Senior prom was inevitably canceled after the monstrosity that went down at homecoming, but a part of him wonders what it would’ve been like to experience it with Devon. Because before homecoming went to shit it was one of the best nights of his life, until it quickly turned into the worst. The same person with whom he danced and kissed and made numerous memories with died that night, and he’s sure that a part of himself died alongside them too.

But Devon isn’t here, and the reminder of their death stings a lot more than this B-minus does. But he knows that they shouldn’t be forgotten; they should be cherished and celebrated in death because no one did it nearly enough in the time that they were alive, including him. It hurts, but if this pain from missing them is all he has left, then he’ll take it. He’ll take any trace of Devon that he can get.

Bravery isn’t something that comes to him as easily as it does for Lily, nor is confrontation as simple as a conversation as it is for Ava. But thinking of Devon makes him brave, and he will take that bravery because it’s the closest thing he has of them now.

“It’s no big deal. Just one paper,” he says to himself. He tries to believe it–even if his encouragement to himself is lackluster–because he knows that Devon would have said something similar, in their signature comforting manner that made his worry lines soften and his heart rate slow. Words that are lackluster when said to himself would have been entrancing coming from their lips.

He’s so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t realize that nobody else is in the classroom except for him and Professor Bhatt, who’s now watching him with a curious gaze and asking if he’s alright.

It scares him, opening up to this professor who probably has better things to do than to listen to his problems, but he knows that there are far scarier things out there than this.

So he talks. And as he talks, his mind wanders back to the person with his heart; the person who took it as he watched them be buried six feet underneath the ground. He thinks of Devon and thanks them for gifting him with this bravery, even if they aren’t by his side. Lucas was always bravest with Devon, but because they’re not here, he’ll just have to settle for being brave by himself.

He’s horrified at the thought, but with the strength that his memories have lent him of the person he loves, then maybe it won’t be so difficult.

Because it’s bravery that came from Devon, and for Devon, he’ll take anything he can get.