#help me i wanna know what the words are
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deoidesign · 1 month ago
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Someone killed my boss last night and he sent me this I'm so fired
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god I can't wait to make this comic.
#not me making a prelaunch link so I can share it on art of them that I do and then immediately being like hm#feels kind of weird to link a comic that doesnt exist yet#HAHAHAHAH#theres just no pleasing me#oh well I'll stick to my guns. I thought about it a long time#and doing things that feel weird is kind of the name of the game when it comes to making art#we were legion#zagan#this is so funny to me#its like not even that funny but#I love him. idk I think because I know what the comic is gonna be like stuff like this is 1 million times funnier to me#he sucks so bad and it would suck to read if he were the only one in the comic but because luciel is also there#then its just funny. cause juxtaposition#I love luciel too but theyre less good for standalone drawings and memes without comic context#so my brains like erm... theres nothing there....#also my tags are bugging out when I type them on the ocmputer idk how to explain whats happening but its kind of annoying#jumping around all over the place. makes it hard to read while I'm typing them. its fine#if theres typos its cause somethings going weird with my computer#lately when I've opened firefox its just shaking all over the place#til I alt tab out of it and back to it. I have straight up no idea why#and my internet has been bugging out. the LAN connection keeps flickering and then going out...??#YES I switched the ethernet cable connecting the modem and the router NO I dont know whats going on#I dont wanna deaaaaaal wiiiithhh customer serviceeee its fine. I'll do it later if switching the coax cable doesnt help#uh. anyways none of that matters cause I can still make my fuckin comics babeyyy#as long as I've got my comics. I'm good. though it is annoying when I cant look up references or spelling of words cause I do that constant#but its fine!#love I can draw without internet I dont even notice when it goes out sometimes aughajkghagj#anyways I'm super excited about this comic and if you're intereted theres a presave link now so#yeay#I'll post places other than webtoon but I'm just doing webtoon early so TTA readers can switch over easier
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girlmetalsonic · 9 months ago
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something that is like the baseline of amys entire character to me is that shes lonely. shes clingy and physically affectionate in a way none of her friends really are, shes always getting pushed aside and left behind. yeah, she helps out people she doesnt know because shes a nice person, but also, she sees part of herself in them. she wont leave someone else behind because she knows the feeling —and more importantly, hates the feeling. if she doesnt have somebody to stand by her and be there for her, then shes going to be that person for everybody else. something something her obsession with sonic is really just like a manifestation of that desire for closeness with someone, and she thinks that romance is the only way to get that. idk... this hedgehog can have so many abandonment issues.
#me posts#amy rose#sth#sonic the hedgehog#and this is not to say at all that romance is the only way to have 'real' love or anything#just that yknow part of her breaking free of that would also be realizing that she just wants closeness with someone and it doesnt-#-have to be romantic#aroace amy could fit this i suppose and she just doesnt know it yknow. thats not my hc but i support their beliefs if that makes sense#she wants to be loved and she wants to love and she doesnt really get a big outlet for that so she shares it with everyone she sees#also i didnt wanna jam up the post but GAMMA!! this is partially abt gamma she helps him find out how to love and how to find joy in it-#-bc its what she wants for herself. she sees him and sees how completely alone he is and she wants to help him. idk idk something something#-when she was locked in the cell she saw part of herself staring back at her#gamma parallels to amy is SLEPT ON i stg i could make a whole other post about it#idk.. whenever im writing amy or just thinking abt how shed interact with others its always from the lens that she craves closeness with-#-others. she wants people to just stay for once.#does this make any sense. idk man im rambling here#my worst nightmare is characterizing her wrong its such a fine line and sometimes the words do not come out of my brain right#btw this is NOT me dissing amy i love amy. she is like top three favorite character.#important context: im typing this with amy firefox theme rn ok. ok im an amy fan.#she points at the minimize button like shes telling me to log off#jesus christ i just scrolled back up i love to put a whole other post in the notes dont i
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bedforddanes75 · 3 months ago
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do you have any fanfiction recs??
I DO!!!!!! im honoured that someone's thought of Me to ask for recs omg... anyway theyll be under the cut because making long posts without a cut makes me feel mean
okay im assuming u mean gatty cos. its Me so sorry if u didnt 😞 smut is marked with * btw!!! (also before i start i'm sorry to everyone i tag i Hate tagging it's really scary.) SO. in no specific order. let's go
love me to death* by...somebody who i do not know the tumblr of (sorry) is amazing. i'd also recommend everything else by this person, too, because all of it is beautiful.
all the king's horses by the wonderful @allylikethecat is one of my all time faves, it just makes me want to scream and cry and yell and jump up and down. in a very, very good way!! (also, it has horses, so.)
the big light by @betweenthings2 is for real godsent, and i would die to be able to write like this!!!!! (but if u do then tw for speak of s/a!! keep urself safe!) it's beautiful and sad and sad and sad and wonderful. again, i'd recommend everything else by them, too!!! (also loads of crisps because it got updated like three seconds ago, and i Love It)
in the search for it, inside of you* by @arainesque is so beautifully sad, and the best thing ever. it's so soft and wonderful and lovely and aaaaaahhh!!! the way she wrote their dynamic makes my heart ACHE. obsessed always :(((((<3
how little i really know (about the things that matter)* OH MY GOD. farm boy george. literally almost entirely what inspired deus like it's AMAZING. beautiful and i love it so much
roadkill, again, by @betweenthings2 because she's genuinely amazing and deserves nine hundred thousand billion kudos on every single fic <3 (tw for restrictive (i think) EDs btw!!) i think if i read this while not in a good mood i would explode and die. it's amazing
into my spiral patterns you (my love) by @lookedlikethebins which is in progress rn is HWHSKJSJSJ. beautiful. obsessed with how they've written george in this one <3
okay im Very sorry to everyone who i tagged here i genuinely hate tagging people so much it makes me SICK but i kinda felt bad speaking about fics and Not tagging people. LORD. someone give me a tumblr etiquette class
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dont-offend-the-bees · 3 months ago
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Anyone else just not feeling like a real person much lately?
#'lately' he says#as if he's not been feeling this way for the last 28 years#idk man#maybe it's bc I'm getting older and so are the people i hang/chat with#but it feels like everyone else has a real life and real interests and experiences and things to say#and I'm some kind of hollow scarecrow person just full of memory loss and sadness#i feel very stupid and very boring#which i know is too harsh. and i know i should be kinder to myself bc life and covid and shit can't have helped the brain situation#and i should absolutely believe my friends when they say they wanna hang with me bc it's mean not to take them at their word#but I'm still like... why though?#genuinely what's the appeal of being around me. my head is empty i have nothing to add and I'm not interesting or that funny#it's been creeping up on me. this feeling like i just genuinely have nothing to offer.#i don't even know who i am#except for a person who like. lives vicariously through fictional characters experiencing feelings I've never had cause to feel#i can relate to emotions SO vividly except i myself haven't even felt the half of them#i just sort of quietly exist somewhere on the spectrum between content and discontent#with occasional drops into the despair zone#and even if the stuff i think is keeping me here went away tomorrow. like if mum stopped being an issue and i was free#like... what would i even do?#i don't even know how to want something#anyway. this has been morning mental breakdowns with newt#I'm going to go make some made up guys live the life i haven't now#mr. bees speaks#negative
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mokeonn · 9 months ago
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Before I go to sleep I leave you all with this piece of advice: sometimes you don't actually have to answer big political questions, sometimes you can just say "I am not smart enough to know that, I just know the small things I do to help." Like you can often times completely avoid making a fool of yourself if you just say you don't know.
#simon says#to explain here and not in a reblog:#sometimes when you try to explain big picture solutions you're gonna sound dumb#you might not have done enough research#you might not have a rebuttal to a counter argument#you might not be articulate enough to explain why you think this#sometimes you gotta take a step back and give the simple solution. the one man solution#you do what you can to fight against the problem#you talk to people to help spread awareness and how to fight the bad problem#and you vote and invite others to vote for bigger steps towards solving the problem#like you can talk about theory and how you believe we need to do a huge drastic thing to solve and issue#but people will disagree and argue til you're blue in the face#they'll poke and prod until you mess up or lose your temper and use it against you#and you'll feel dumb and they'll learn nothing#sometimes the best thing to do is step away from the big picture and just say 'idk what the solution is I just know the things I can do“#sometimes you gotta admit you're not a scientist/expert and you can't answer that#i used this while talking with my Dad tonight#he brought up our climate crisis and space travel as a possible solution#and I said I think that's just addressing the symptom and not the cause and we need to care for our Earth now#and he asked me what solutions I think would fix it#and knowing my incredibly smart Dad who is articulate and ready to throw rebuttles at a moments notice to play devils advocate#and my past experience in struggling in this topic with him before#i just told him I didn't know. all i knew is the little things I can and do do to help#and that hopefully by spreading the word and habits and encouraging others to vote for those bigger solutions I could help make a change#but all I really could do is the little things I have control over#and the topic became much less stressful about the little things we have control over#like planting native plants and recycling and adopting habits that are healthier to our planet#which was 100% more preferable to if I tried to give a big solution. because I would reveal i didn't have all the knowledge needed to argue#and my articulation would make me sound like a stupid kid who only thinks they know what's best#so yeah I basically suggest that if you dont wanna feel like shit after debating someone just step away from the big picture for a moment
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zerodaryls · 1 year ago
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it's so funny (read: sad) that if bigoted fuckheads didn't insist i was a woman simply by virtue of my body at birth, i'd probably be chill with she/her pronouns in addition to he/they. if my mom didn't insist i was her daughter, i'd probably let her call me that, and we could still have a relationship.
i'm nonbinary and 'gendered' words are hypothetically meaningless, but because there are so many people who are more interested in telling me who i am rather than lovingly and curiously letting me express my own sense of self, those words carry trauma.
there's no reason a nonbinary person like myself can't be a son and a child and a daughter. there's no reason a nonbinary person like me can't go by he, they, and she.
'she' is not a slur. 'daughter' is not derogatory. 'beautiful' 'pretty' 'gorgeous' 'feminine' are not insults.
to the contrary, they're parts of language that express certain facets of a multi-faceted human existence, like mine.
and i have this sad, mournful feeling that if it weren't for unloving, condescending people, i'd probably be down to be called any of those things alongside my usual masculine/neutral terminology.
but i'd rather die than let anyone tell me what i have to be called.
#i try to reclaim 'feminine' words for myself in private#calling myself 'babygirl' when i need to chill out. or saying i feel pretty. or going 'she needs help' when i'm struggling lmao.#but there's still so much fucking trauma in those words from the people who've forced them on me#who've snarled in my face that GOD made me ONE THING and ONE THING ONLY and that's a WOMAN (stepdad)#who've guilted me for taking their precious perfect daughter away as if i'm fucking dead (mother)#who've mocked me and everyone like me as if we're not the experts on our own sense of self (general transphobic public)#like. i'm not a fucking man. i'm not a fucking woman. i'm nonbinary. gender is absurdity as a concept. i'm done with it.#but being called a man or a son or a guy or 'he' or WHATEVER in that vein is fine and dandy because i've never had anyone say#'that is all you can EVER be'. or worse: 'that is what GOD made you to be and you have a ROLE to fill'#(christianity pls die approximately yesterday thanku 💖)#so yeah. idk. ranting yet again about Cis Audacity.#the complete lack of empathy. the lack of curiosity even.#the condescending bullshit. the 'i understand you better than you do'. the fucking AUDACITY.#i am the expert on myself. i am the ONLY expert on myself. period. no contest. not a debate.#i understand myself better than anyone else is CAPABLE of understanding me.#i could call myself 'she' and understand that i meant it in a nonbinary way.#in fact i could even see myself letting other trans people call me feminine terms at some point in the future. when i've healed more.#but cis people? probably not. they can call me 'he' or 'they' or they can fuck off & never get to know me because they don't wanna know ME#/end rant#any terfs/bigots that try to touch this post will be swiftly blocked and quite possibly cursed. have the day you deserve <3
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boydyke · 1 year ago
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by the way. begging ocd positivity posts and any posts about ocd or targeted to ocd havers to never ever again say anything resembling "if you're worried about being a bad person, it just means you're a good person! you wouldn't be so scared of bad things if you were actually bad." Is your brain the size of a pea. Can you think maybe for a minute why telling people with an obsessive anxiety looping disorder that results in self harmful compulsive repetitive behaviors (that if left to fester will get worse and worse) that if they feel bad it means they're actually good. Do you want to send people with ocd directly to hell forever or do you just not stop to think about things very often
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kyojuuros · 3 months ago
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knowing communication is vital to a healthy relationship but never knowing how to start a conversation or holding back because you don't want to burden them with your emotions or say/do something that will push them away and just generally being socially inadept is such a fun time! :)
#i was so content being single why did i sign up for this again?#i like this person so much and i'm already so attached#and they've reassured me that they want to be with me also#but things are going so fucking slow and i think right now they have to#because of their mental state and things they are just trying to figure out about themselves and what they want#and i just want to be there for them through it and help them sort things out#but i guess some of the issue is they are mourning a relationship that they wanted but that didn't get to happen#but that apparently after we basically established yeah let's be a thing the other person reached in hopes they could meet each other#which like they told me it's more an issue now of letting the other person down easy and let them know they found a person to be with#but i'm just not coping with this knowledge very well at all#despite the reassurance from them that i'm the one they wanna be with#and i think i'm struggling because i'm probably jealous because they are friends and have been for years#and i don't want to be jealous i just wanna be chill about it#like i'm not going to be the person who makes them feel like they can't maintain their long term friendships#i won't be that person#but it makes me feel insecure like i'm competing against someone i don't even know#and i worry they're going to realize i just fucking suck and decide that to leave me to try something with that person instead#but i don't know how to even start a conversation or convey these feelings to them without fearing it's going to start some bullshit#that i don't want tainting the relationship#even outside of that like#i wanna know so many things about them but i don't even know where to start or if i can just ask them questions#everything scares me relationships are scary#i'm so fucking scared of being hurt again#ugh#personal#sorry i just needed to dump this somewhere because i've been bottling it up for a fucking week now#it did not make me feel better but at least i got the words out
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lovelyrotter · 2 months ago
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can ppl in this fandom like... stop... implying that transmasculinity in hcs or (especially) canon is shallow or misogynistic or even transmisogynistic on princible, like literally just by being prescent in someones mind or in the text. like that doesnt fuckin feel good. thats kind of really nasty to imply. if its not okay to say about other trans experiences, maybe dont say it about this one either. why is there a weird little exception here. yall KNOW how much that sucks to hear all day every day. what the fuck
#my t#idk how to tell the hs fandom that every piece of trans coding in roxy in hs1 can be read as transmasc too. like transfem and transmasc#at the same time from the EXACT same reasons. its almost like we all share experiences just by way of being trans. weird i know#its almost like being trans rlly truly highlights what it is to be human and how we are all in fact at the end of the day human together#i just want everyone to stop trying to 'poke holes' in other fans trans hcs FULL STOP across the board no matter who they are#or what the hc is. its needlessly hurtful and more often than not trips into real peoples dysphoria which then#makes the target more likely to lash out. so the person poking them abt it can do a ''SEE? THEYRE ALL MEAN ONE OF THEM#WAS MEAN TO ME JUST NOW'' routine. its so obviously a 'im not touching u!!!' playground maneuver like holy fuck grow up#if you wanna fight for transfem/me folks right to just exist random fans personal headcanons is not the fuckin time or place#the XY in roxys name could be read as her having been DMAB or it could be hussie having a long running giggle about him preordering#his own transmasculinity. roxys colour being pink could be bc shes a girl or it could be compcis!!!#roxys desperation for a bf is from loneliness in canon but its often read as her feeling like she needs one to be a real girl#it can ALSO be read as another aspect of him struggling with compcis and comphet esp w/ his fantasies abt being 'a mother'#yknow what i never fuckin see that rlly highlights the fact that this is just a shitty 'girls rule boys drool' thing? theres like. no#discussions on the potential of roxy being any kinda intersex. absolutely none. he could be mtftm for all you fuckin know#but oh yknow being mtftm is A Shallow Read so we cant have that. hs is only for girls didnt you know we need to terf- i mean turf#out every single instance of queer mascness bc its Evil in the text didnt you know#god help the fandoms word of god token trans boy dirk strider for 'choosing' his eternal misery while everyone else is enlightened#by way of transforming into a girl. bc we must place girlhood on an inhuman pedistal of perfection and niceness and joy and rainbows#like what IS this mahou shojo brand gender essentialism???? im fuckin sick of it#can we remember that girlhood isnt & wasnt safe or joyful for everyone & that that can translate into how we curate our fandom experiences
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genericpuff · 1 year ago
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Hey so uhh about the Kawacy vampire comic my friend apparently is a fan and they said that it isn't grooming because the usual "He only loves her when she's an adult" and say that he also protect her from "actual predators"
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camzverse · 3 months ago
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vanessa shelly is sooo sp6. u dont even know. its insane
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arsenicflame · 1 year ago
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me + all my mutuals when izzys getting a favourable arc in s2
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plutoons · 4 months ago
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Can you do a tutorial on how your art process is done I’m about to quit on Art everything I make fucking sucks .
hey anon !! My art process is almost non existent cause i haven’t been able to stick to One definitive way and i don’t want to cause i think its limiting. I still have a long way to go for improving my skills and learning new things and figuring out different styles !!
Heres a quickk drawing showing what my “main” process is
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This is something i generally have stuck to for most of my posted drawings (i can post things specific to some drawings on a separate reblog ^^ im just to lazy to get pictures of em for examples rn)
Doodle !! I cant visualize shit, and usually have a very vague idea of what id like to draw Or just nothing at all. So I doodle messily with expressive gestures till’ i find something that sticks
choose one final concept/sketch and clean it up a lil so i have a way better idea of what im getting myself into
Base colors cause i hate doing lineart. So i just go straight into colors casue its fun and i like fun!! Right on top or on a diff layer it doesnt matter. I color pick with my eyes and put base colors or anything i think it would be cool. No pressure and it can messy cause I’ll clean it up and figure shit out later
fuck around and find out (rendering ig)—> i cant explain it super well or definitively. I just layer and throw colors on top till im satisfied or Done with it. I flip my canvas a bunch or check my values to make sure the results come out to look more coherent regardless of the mess of color
Im just a simple person and cant handle something that requires too many steps or things that havta be done Just right so this works for me atm. This may not be your jam but finding a process in that works for you through trial an error is just a part of art. Do what works for you!! I think experimenting is so important even if it sucks in the end
(more Words / “advice ?” under cut)
I have so many shitty drawings and sketches and even colored things that outweigh the tiny bits of art i decide to show off
I totally get that creating art can get really discouraging at times; not getting the results you want when you want them no matter how much effort you put in just sucks, but it won’t always be that way :] even if it takes you 10 years to find your groove and see improvement or 2 years, it’ll happen. I find that i’ve only improved when i actively didn’t give a fuck about how my art looks and only cared that i was having fun through it all, and thats hard cause perfectionism is a bitch and its hard to get rid of. You could improve with studies and daily practice for sure but moving towards improvement can be as fun and light n breezy as you want to make it, like taking a break to explore different hobbies or changing up mediums or fucking around and experimenting with it can help !!! Allow ur art to be bad; cause fuck it, at least you made something and thats really really cool. Once you cut urself some slack it’ll be easier to improve upon your skillset and slowly but surely get to where you want
Sorry im a bit tired idk if this is coherent so heres a more direct thing i’d like to say:
Maybe ur art isn’t where you want it to be rn and ik it can kill ur motivation to keep going at it (i’ve experienced this feeling a lot and im sure so have many others). But you gotta ease up on urself and stop worrying about results so you can allow yourself to experiment and have fun!! And its hard getting into that mindset but you gotta keep trying and you’ll find it getting easier
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princessmyriad · 17 days ago
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Actionable things to do, from a white childless non-usa womanoid:
- Think global act local
- Act woman-owned, woc/poc-owned, queer-owned, indigenous-owned as much as possible. Research which companies' parent companies should not be given money.  
-uplift women of colour, and lgbtqia+ and femme people whenever you can, know when your voice should be the loudest but give others who sorely need a voice have not just their turn but their respect too. Let them know openly and politely when they have earned some of your admiration, and stand up for them in social situations, if it is safe to do so. Find safe people, we have strength in numbers too. Ask around at libraries and youth group and elder activity halls if theres a space theyd be willing to help you set up a community garden in
- Decenter men, decenter money, focus on community and kindness.
  * adhere to the 4b movement and/or other woman+kindness-focused ideals that appeal to you with as much longterm conviction as you can find. We have been strong for so long and we can continue to be until we do not Need to be Strong anymore. We can, and will, get this right and make the world tender again. But we have to be strong enough for now to recognize our issues are each-others and we need to start with building a community where we are and building it out globally from there. We need to be amplifying the voices of the most truly deeply hurt peoples within our local communities and assisting those people the most, to build companionship and community and creativity and kindness and compassion into our joint futures. We need to not continue to isolate groups of people down further and encourage fear and distrust, this is what They want. Redirect people who are trying into genuine ways to help, instead of berating or complaining. Our issues might not be the same but they stem from the same roots of misogynistic bullshit and it's more important now maybe than ever to stand united and start fixing things locally first from a place of understanding, not separation.
- Find local shelters or soup kitchens or nonprofit places that primarily help women and/or poc and/or queer people, or facilities that supply safe sexual and reproductive health services for people with utersus, and volunteer in whichever way you can. Things that help often include serving food, preparing food that can be served or heated easily, donating cans or nonperishables. You can also donate blankets and clothes directly to the folk using the shelters if you're unsure of the people ‘running’ the place. Handmade items (knitting, crochet, quilting, sewing, etc.) might be a creative outlet for any frustrations felt too, keep in mind as many body-types that might make use of your item as possible. Some facilities might accept donations in the form of cleaning, or hosting their community bake-sales, or admin, or various other tasks so ask what kind of help they might need that would suit your personal skillset and limitations.
- Acquire books on edible gardening, on human anatomy and medical knowledge, -including mental health knowledge,- on cooking especially with cheap and shelf-stable ingredients. Find books on camping, survivalist tips, and general DIY tips for furniture and clothing and home-maintenance. Plumbing, witchcraft, electricity, tiling, any other book of practical skills could be useful too. Books written by (woc)women and queer people should be your first choice but take what you can get. Thrift stores often have cheap books (or are sometimes willing to give some away if you’re kind enough) but of course this does depend on where you live so acquire books in whichever way is most accessible to you. You can screenshot/save any information you find on the internet too, but it might be a good idea to print or write it out as well, and be sure to get information from smart, women, of colour, who know what they're talking about.
- if youre able, purchase as many contraceptive options and menstrual products as you can. Do not advertise that you have these, give them out to trusted women in need when needed. Do not hoard them, allow other menstruators to purchase them too but do look up the shelf-life of each product. Ive heard that a planB has a shelf life of four years, so thats possibly worth stocking up on, if you have the space and finances and support from within your home. I've not confirmed this though so please take this information with a grain of salt.
- get familiar with your body, aquire sex and selfpleasure toys, learn to use the tools you have safely to reach orgasm or whatever sexual satisfaction means to you. Be honest with yourself about your needs and limits. Post-nut clarity shouldn't be pushed to the backburner for women and femmes and it should be attained without the help of a man whenever possible. Emotional regulation will be hard but this is one of the best ways to stay focused and keep your body and mind from acting out out of a place of loneliness and self-hate. Dance, sing, scream, orgasm, create, do it all as primally as your vessel can handle to regulate, to activate social, empathy, and love and happiness centers of your brain and body.
- Don’t use period trackers or fertility trackers or any such websites/applications. Keep yourself safe online, use usernames and pseudonyms and nicknames that aren't identifiable back to your real life. Keep details of your real life limited to trusted people in trusted circles. Keep community in mind but use discretion as to who’s truly a trustworthy person to tell your thoughts or experiences to. 
- Australians call and write and email your states leaders, everybody do this actually but Aus is rapidly approaching its own crisis-scenario so make your voice heard, make your wishes clear, keep your intentions away from discussion with political heads but remain focused and concise with the outcome of upcoming potential bills and laws that you want to see. Make it clear and factual what you don't want to see too, without making it into personal threats or insults (despite how much you might want to sling some choice words toward your resident Rich Whiteman). Statistics are your friend here but remain honest with yourselves about where the stat comes from and about how Statistics are often played with for the benefit of the author.
***I’m too stressed to think lately. As I find or think of more tips i’ll add them. Please stay safe ladies. Carry a hammer, any weaponry you feel confident to use. Know that knifework can be dangerous to you if you’re not experienced at it. Know too that you must survive. Out of hope, out of spite, out of rage or love you must survive. We can not lose this battle when we have been fighting it for so long. Do not give up now. Please. Rest when you need but please, do not give up now. <3
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amyloveletter · 1 day ago
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augghh ,.....
#girl i wanna cry so bad#im so tired#and my gormones are not helping#my mother just fucking bombarded me with so mant questions about uni and i know shes trying to help#but im genuenly so tired i just want to go to sleep#and she keeps asking me stuff and im standing up and my uterus hirsts so bad but she didnt stop expanding#on shit that was SO unnecesary#fucking . have u not heard me before#i told you 5 times that im not recursing this class because it would be so bad#and you keep asking my stuff about what if i did retook it#why do you never listen !!!!!!! and then when im tired of trying to get a word in#you start complaining that this is jow a lonologue and not a concersation !!!!!#my sister in christ whenever i try to speak you dont stop tlaking. what do yoh mean#and i took 2 bugs out of the house and now i have phantoms bugs feelings . feel like there are moths flying toward sme#would be ok in other situations but i cant deal with the phantom sensation rn#crying from frsutration. help!!!!!#im genuenly so sad and angry and upset#not even at my mom. shes ok but rn shes getting on my nerves because im very sensitive and im so tired#i just want to sleeeeep. please.#girl i frel like such a failure#the 10 girl goes from getting 10 in four classes to barelt passing 5 classes. devaststing#i prommy i know im more than my grades but my ego is not feeling it this time#i feel so burned out time is slipping through my fingers#i want a hug 💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪 fuck#sorry for the long venty post. if u read this far u deserve an award
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bmpmp3 · 27 days ago
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for the past couple years ive been slowly. slowly learning beginners japanese and its very fun and im enjoying it a lot but also it has made me painfully aware in ways i wasnt before of how much my specific vaguely ontario accent makes me make out sloppy style with my vowels. i am going at those vowel's tonsils. i am doing things to diphthongs you wouldnt even believe.
#come and meet the letter people. come and visit the familyyy#literally like i dont mind my ontario accent coming through my japanese thats okay BUT i do care about making sure im saying what#im actually trying to say. and sometimes without realizing my vowels have left off somewhere else in the middle of my word#turning it into some manner of other word. i accidentally said picasso bought the mona lisa instead of painted it the other day <3#i dont mind my mistakes but like. i still wanna do my best!!!!#its blowing my mind though. okay as an anglophone here the only way we'll learn anything about our own language is by#1) just having a natural interest in linguistics in general and/or 2) learning a new language#much to my mothers frustration when she came here in the 70s not knowing any english. even the english speakers couldnt help her#BUT luckily i was both interested in linguistics and learning new languages so i got to learn more things after preschool LOL#but like i remember taking french throughout highschool and being like. wait a god damn minute. i understand english grammer now?#it was bizarre. learning japanese phonetics as well has made me realize what on earth i do with my vowels. actually the entire way i talk#i didnt pay much attention to it but in my head i hear everything as my voice but with perfect north american man radio voice pronunciation#which it turns out. is not what my actual voice sounds like. its not even thaaat different its just different Enough. uncanny valley accent#although the reason i specify vaguely with my vaguely ontarian accent is because#in my area half of the native english speakers say stuff one way and the other half a different way. like within the same neighbourhoods#people always giggle at the way i say bagel. in my head i do picture it as bey-gul. but the second it lease my mouth its become BAG-ul#no one in my familiar says it like that. i dont know where it came from. i cant even stop it. im forever BAG-ul. forever.
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