#and realistically for MYSELF I am | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stormyweaver · 15 days

Text

it's been a rough week tbh. having three days off honestly exhausted me more than energized me. that piled with a ton of OTHER shit i won't get into bc it's just stressing me out even more, and...

fuck. i've never felt so fucking incapable and simultaneously proud of myself.

#greyrambles;#not snz #idk what to do half the time but #i think i really need to learn to keep parts of my life private #which is hard bc i don't see my therapist that often #and sometimes i really REALLY just wanna burst out with everything so i info dump and lbr #nobody ever really cares or gives a shit and they aren't obligated to #like my friends obvs are treasures to me but i also don't wanna burden them with my constant negative thoughts/feelings #journaling helps a little but #i'm just tired of feeling like a disappointment for not knowing how to properly manage my fucking life #i'm so tired of being told i'm not doing enough #i just want to be enough #and realistically for MYSELF I am #but i take other people's words to heart so so easily #how do you not do that lol

3 notes · View notes

kasieli · 1 year

Text

Hear me out: MC and Seb exploring the underwater caves together

4K notes · View notes

fibi-draws · 1 year

Text

You found a spider in the ceiling... er... the ceiling of the multiverse? Weird

[Commissions are open]

closeup :)

#idk i got bored and i like using funky colors... and so do the spiderverse animators so... here i am #into the spider verse #across the spiderverse #across the spider verse #spiderman #spiderverse #spiderverse fanart #miles morales #gwen stacy #gwiles #miles and gwen #i dont actually... ship them..... but i wanted to draw them so #i fucked myself over by making them too realistic on my first try and i got really sad bc i am very slowly losing my style to college #the tragedy... of learning anatomy professionally.....

739 notes · View notes

ubejamjar · 2 months

Text

day two - maritime

Sleep was easiest at sea, nestled in a nook of the old ship where there was no past to run from, only the groans and creaks of the hull straining against the waves.

auraugust promptos

#her first voyage with the sanguine sirens was 100% the first time ajisai ever slept deeply because she felt safe #even if she wouldn't admit it at the time #ffxiv #auraugust2024 #ffxiv screenshots #ffxiv gpose #ffxiv screenies #au ra #raen #ajisaijar #gposejar #shaking myself by the shoulders #i don't need to pick at every word i write; there's a whole month for au ra and i don't have the time to edit and re-edit and re-edit and--#i am not happy with this and i think it's because mentally i just want to write a fucking chapter for each post but we need to be realistic

64 notes · View notes

averageludwig · 5 months

Text

I need to get this out of my system or i will blow up. LIKE DAMN.. DAMN. LIKE OKAY. Like damn. Like. Tears in my eyes . fistful of hair . rocking back and forth . damn. He is ruining my life. Guys on the count if 3 throw the biggest rock at me. I need to be stoned there is no cure to this. goodnight cruel world.

#averitext #I AM GKING TO VOMIT.#IS SO LIKE #soft.......#I am gonna pop him into my mouth #this will get inappropriate very quickly i should hold myself back #ITS JUST GUYS?????? LIKE GUYS LIKE COME ON #like okay #like he is so handsome #i want. a 30 minute long sfm animation very human and realistic and smooth of him talking and chatting really softly and being really happy #and passionate and full of love and joy and oh god #cant even say my wife anymore this is just something else #mental breakdown in tags because this being in the actual blog will end me up in a hospital #please #lethal injection

104 notes · View notes

nihilismtrcit · 1 year

Photo

did nora clean or unpack anything today? no. did she write? also no. she did have beer for breakfast, though

288 notes · View notes

prolibytherium · 7 months

Text

I feel like Mac & Dennis had to have SOME in-universe rationalization for getting rid of all of their furniture and all I could come up with was

A) sold (or attempted and failed to sell) their preexisting furniture to invest in their awesome new inflatable furniture business

B) to make room for their inflatable furniture business inventory (would be a literal explanation for the 'no room' comment) or

C) they had actually been renting NOT JUST the couch but the beds and chairs and etc, and panicked upon discovering this was a dumb as fuck move

#iasip #Realistically leaning towards a combination of A & B. But I love C #I'm not even talking about the rationalization for one bed here I'm talking about getting rid of everything TO BEGIN WITH.#It's easy to come up with in-character excuses for the bed but just getting rid of all the furniture is a mystery to me #Ok I fucking love that episode because it is so pleasing to the part of my brain that likes to linger on unimportant background details #like the fridge contents or everything about Charlie's apartment/bathroom situation #Kind of want to continue elaborating on the latter in the tags here but it's 7 am and I told myself I'd be going to sleep at 4 so uh #mission failed goodnight

67 notes · View notes

acequeenking · 7 months

Text

Fandom: Tekken

Relationship: Kazama Jun/Mishima Kazuya

Rating: Explicit (this one has sexy times so not for kiddos)

THIS IS POST TEKKEN 8. BIG TEKKEN 8 SPOILERS. DON'T READ IT WITHOUT FINISHING THE GAME UNLESS YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT SPOILERS.

Additional Tags: Reunion, Reunion sex, Vaginal Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Awkward Conversations About Not-So-Accidentally Trying to Murder Your Son and Actually Murdering Your Dad and Kind of Accidentally Abandoning Your Unknown Baby-Mama, Forgiveness, Getting Back Together, Dealing with the mental fallout of Tekken 2 to Tekken 8, which for both of them is...a lot, but they're getting there

"I am not the man you want me to be," Kazuya admits. "But that does not mean the man I am does not love you."

"...Still?" Jun asks, the word the only thing that can quite get out of her throat.

#tekken #jun kazama #kazuya mishima #kazjun #kazujun #kazjun week 2024 #kazujunweek2024 #yes this is SO GOD DAMN LATE #But it took on a life of its own and it's 16K so #;_; I throw myself on the mercy of the Kaz/Jun shipping court #this is the last prompt so now I gotta finish the others I started lol #There will probably be a sequel to this with Jin's perspective at some point because I am mentally ill for the Mishimas atm #because I imagine it would be so fucking weird to seeing your dad and mom get together after all...that #my favorite part of this fic is the repetitive aspect where they mirror one another a lot #....and tbh Kaz going GET USED TO YELLING MY NAME WOMAN which I think is the most in character thing I've ever written for him #this man is a service dom and a terror #I tried to write more realistic sex scene for them here and that was also quite fun!

40 notes · View notes

actuallytalldumbass · 1 month

Text

little sneak peak to a maybe next drawing??

idk, we'll see how it goes so far im not sure, maybe i'll change everything in the end and it'll look differently

actually i think i might just do that, idk if i'll be able to get a result i want in this style

holy shit john why do you have a difficult face + colour theory is a bitch and i dont understand it

honestly he kinda looks more like joel from tlou

#alex rider #alex rider fanart #fanart #john rider #yassen gregorovich #digital art is hard #colour theory what's that??#why am i doing this to myself #i hate drawing realistically or anything close but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to get that specific result

16 notes · View notes

emberglowfox · 11 months

Text

i hate having memory issues

#“if you cared you would remember” / people thinking youre lying to them about things you did/didn't do / i am incredibly easy to gaslight #entire chunks of my recent life just. gone without warning #people who know more about me than i do myself #why cant i have a functioning brain #vent #sparks speaks #re the gaslight thing my psychosis + memory issues + regular weird realistic and/or semi-prophetic timeline dreams make me #incredibly prone to questioning reality and manipulable all the time. and i hate it #i wish i could believe in my own senses #unreality mention

81 notes · View notes

nomattertheoceans · 7 months

Text

I've been reading the Percy Jackson books for the first time over the past two weeks! Just finished "The Battle of the Labyrinth" last night (which btw is my favorite of the series so far!!)

I have now gained a new obsession but it might not be what you think

#like i swear to god i did not expect to be absolutely enthralled by the protagonist's mom kahskahfjkaja #she's just so fascinating to me #she's so kind and smart and she has given EVERYTHING for her son okay #like her staying married to an abuser for years to protect him omg she deserves the world #like when Poseidon called her a queen in the first book he was 100% right alright she is a queen #the woman murdered her abuser with a monster's head LIKE THAT'S SO AWESOME #also i cannot explain how obsessed i am with her relationship with Poseidon okay #like. do i want her to still have feelings for him? yes. do i need poseidon to pine and long for her from the distance?? ABSOLUTELY YES.#like realistically it's more likely that be does not but I need it okay #like at first i wanted them to be reunited because you know. of course i did.#but i am perfectly content with her finding love and happiness with a mortal man and Poseidon pining for her from the distance #like listen. this woman is amazing and she deserves to have an immortal all powerful god unable to get over her alright SHE DESERVES IT #but the way he just showed up at Percy's birthday party and called her as beautiful as ever????? omg??? BECAUSE YES SHE IS #and she blushed??? be still my beating heart #kahskahfksja honestly laughing at myself right now like I'm just over here watching a Sally Jackson tele novela in my head #AND HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE #percy jackson #no spoilers please if you see this post i know very little about the story and I'm thoroughly enjoying myself that way #also jsut as an fyi i am also a little obsessed with Percy and Annabeth kajakshdjshsha they are too cute and intense #sally jackson #percy jackson and the olympians

44 notes · View notes

chocolatespyro · 1 year

Text

Hey so this was originally just me screwing around with the crayon brush in ms paint and then my hand slipped and this happened /hj

This was gonna originally be tied to lyrics but then I felt like they didn't fit that much and that they would've cluttered the drawing and dfhdfhujdfh oh well!

There's gonna be a meme kinda based on this btw you'll see when i get around to it

Also I desperately need to draw cabby more agh

77 notes · View notes

ittybittybumblebee · 5 months

Text

i want to see exactly how many people actually have thought i am for research because ive gotten this quite a few times from different people i just wanna see how far it goes

#please understand while im not doubting so much now im not going to base off everything by peoples perceptions of my online behavior but #i feel like it does give good insight #i just always have a little hesitation in me because i feel like no one can get a full scope or honest picture of myself to Know me enough #to say that i can trust their opinion of me without knowing me enough in that sense #gahh. cuz i always feel like im doing Just Fine Enough i feel normal enough but im not guhh.#GUHHGGGHGH #it literally wouldnt change anything for me. like im autistic . ok! shrugs my shoulders. i cope i cant to anything more to help myself #than that #do u guys get it. do i have to go eat bricks or do u guys get it. my internal struggle. im like sisyphus #i cant trust other peoples opinions of my and i cant trust my own perceptions #while of course self diagnosis is a wonderful thing i dont want to put a name on myself that serves me no purpose #autism is awesome but do i deserve that title when dont feel like i own it wether i am autistic or not #im just so conflicted.#do you get it. do you get me. am i being reasonable . am i just fighting a truth about myself or are my doubts realistic. but the Evidence.#im so tired #i do not wanna b one of those tiktok girlies saying theyr hyperfixated on cooking pasta #Now do you get me #all my long winded rabbit trail rambles out of me before i finally get to my one point condensed conclusion #and now i just cant delete the rest of my tags because of all my time spent on them #enjoy my indentity crisis lol #i Might delete some of these tags later

20 notes · View notes

orcelito · 9 months

Text

Like OK so I've been reading a fic with trans wolfwood in it that is so. HONEST. About how it affected him and still affects him. In a way that's very much not an average cis writer portrayal of a trans character.

Like. Either this writer is trans or did plenty of research, but it just feels REAL to me. And it has me thinking about my own way of writing trans Wolfwood.

I'm not there yet. But I've been thinking about it. The ways that what the EOM did fucked him up... but it also acted as HRT that affirmed his gender. So what do you do when you're in a body you don't recognize, but looks much more like a man than ever before? There's some gender euphoria in a way, but dysphoria at the same time bc you didn't grow into this. You didn't watch yourself transition. Suddenly you just Were this, and it's not you, but also it's nice to finally be seen as a man, but it also feels wrong to feel grateful for any part of what they did to you...

On and on and on

You see? This is what I want to think about with him. This is why trans Wolfwood is so compelling to me. It's just so Complicated, he'd have such Complicated feelings about his body and the way he lives with it. He learns this new body, it starts to feel more like his, but he also mourns the fact that he didn't get to watch it grow into this like he should've.

That kind of thing.

#speculation nation #itnl shit #tagging it bc these r things relevant to itnl ww. because. he is trans☺️#TRANS WOLFWOOD MY BELOVED!!!!!!!!!!#i wanna do more research into trans things. ive already done a lot. but like #into the actual physical side of it all. the effects of HRT. all those messy little details that people dont often focus on.#some months ago i skimmed thru this writing guide on how to write trans men. and i think i wanna revisit it #read it more slowly and thoroughly.#bc im confident in my ability to write trans characters. considering the fact that im not cis myself.#but im not a trans man. so there r some Things that i just dont know about by virtue of not having experience with HRT #so. research! supplementing my existing knowledge with the perspectives of the actual people im writing about.#and so it goes when ur writing about an experience that is not entirely your own.#it matters to me to make my writing of trans men as realistic as possible.#even with the messy details that people normally shy away from. Especially them.#i pride myself on my realism as much as is within my means of capturing it.#realistic emotions. realistic reactions. realistic bodies.#i am Going to write a trans wolfwood that is So realistic. as much as possible.#(i keep specifying ww with this even tho vash is trans also just bc vash is a bit more uhhhh not human lol #so the definition of what makes him trans is a bit more loose. still inferred by real life experiences #but he wouldnt have the same sorts of experiences with HRT. or gender expression in general #so i feel less of a pressure to capture it as fully accurate to the real life human experience as possible. if that makes sense.)

36 notes · View notes

itshomobirb · 4 months

Text

anyone else realizing that Punishment and Forced Suffering does not Work for u? like anything where i just have to Grin and Bear it and Suffer (bc that's what "normal" ppl do) just ends up Not Happening. I don't do the Habit. i dont do the Task. ive spent my entire life Grinning and Bearing It and it just doesn't work anymore.

#borbtalks #this is a half baked idea based on a new pacing strat im trying #basing it on my garmin watch's body battery readings (based on hrv & tends to correlate w/ how i physically feel)#and doing more realistic resting goals for myself #. . . was gonna ramble in the tags and try to show the connection btwn all the dots. but nay i shant #basically: Suffering = i Wont Do It. Sustained Suffering = Nope Not Happening #so working from 'what is my goal' & finding ways to achieve that rather than 'what am i Supposed to do'#since Supposed to do usually = some sort of Suffering #if that makes sense?

17 notes · View notes

cargoshortsenjoyer · 10 months

Text

This is Herbert West about to experiment on Jeffrey Combs. The concept originally came from @heliojip on here. He hasn't released his image yet though.

I had begun jokingly brainstorming how Jeffrey Combs would react if he was transported into the Reanimator universe and met Herbert. I think he'd escape with his knowledge of how horror movies work and how to act if you wanna be the survivor, and then go eat some keebler fudge magic middles (discontinued). Then Herbert would find him and Jeffrey would have to make up a reason why they look so similar, and he'd tell him that he was his REAL biological dad; the sperm donor to his actually adoptive father. Anyways if you want more of this headcanon tell me, it was fun

#herbert west #jeffrey combs #tell me if i should tag this in any specific way #reanimator #re-animator #tell me your ideas for how theyd interact too if you want #but a contingency in my mind is that jeffrey acts very normal. its a good contrast to herbert and a way to avoid making this weird #unless its already weird. write to me your thoughts!#i used 4 ref images to get this right. im glad i put in the effort #the surgical table doesnt fully follow the ref image but whatever. i still think it looks really good #i shouldve timed myself!! i usually do darn.#i am MOST proud of their faces/facial expressions/likenesses #herb still looks like herb even tho i exaggerated his mouth and nose #just a little but i also wanted to draw relatively realistically #its kinda fun #you have more lines to make a person look like themselves #and of course i love drawing weird perspectives #i also like the lines of the way i drew their hair. especially jeffrey's #dunno how to elaborate on that tho #tell me exactly your thoughts. critique is welcome

47 notes · View notes