#help keep things NEAT

[freshworms]

Oh ya here's that pest i forgot to post the other day, im a big fan of this big bug

[merverelli]

"you just feel yourself let go."

still thinking about this episode. man. 💪💥

[museofthepyre]

I am thinking about Fruity the fruit fly, and CHNT File 18 in general... (MAJOR CHNT S1 FINALE SPOILERS)

When Sydney and Jedidiah were playing house as children, Jedidiah grew an emotional attachment to a fruit fly they were pretend-parenting… he didn’t want to leave it behind, even after the day was over. So he decided to keep it. He put the fly in a container, kept it under his bed, and took it out every single day to admire from the outside of that tiny little jar… “He loved that bug. He thought that was enough.”

Then, the fruit fly died. It died because in all the time Jedidiah had it trapped within that container, throwing itself against the walls, unable to escape or advocate for itself… Jedidiah never thought to feed it. It starved in there, all alone. But… Jedidiah LOVED that bug. He thought that was enough.

When Jedidiah decided to resurrect Sydney— Sydney had no voice to speak for himself. Jedidiah could sense the imminence of their time together coming to an end (both due to their strained relationship, and Sydney’s failing health). But Jedidiah hates endings, he didn’t want to leave Sydney behind… even after their time was over.

So he decided to keep Sydney.

Resurrected, “alive”, if only within this little container.

Now Sydney is bound to the campgrounds, he can’t leave (he becomes incredibly sick, for yet unspecified reasons). He’s stuck in this lonely little jar that Jedidiah put him in to keep, so that he’d never have to let go— so that he could look in from the other side of the glass, as the insect throws itself against the walls of its enclosure, where it will slowly die of starvation and neglect.

Jedidiah is the only one who can “feed” Sydney (metaphor here being ‘nourishment via love’, as food often symbolizes love in CHNT… his presence and attention, etc)— he took on that responsibility when he decided to keep Sydney in this state of liminal existence (largely for his own sake, though I don’t believe he was aware of that subconscious motivation).

Leading up to the time in which Sydney was resurrected, he had no voice to advocate for himself— he had no say in it at all. We know Sydney likes closure, he likes endings, he’s stated “Any eternal life that any wannabe necromancer would try and offer you is bound to be a fate worse than death.” Would he have chosen this? Would he have chosen this pseudo-life of endless sickness and loneliness?

That question is irrelevant now, because Jedidiah made the choice for him, to bring him back… and then to leave him there. Alone, in this miserable existence that he did not choose, and he cannot leave. He’s trapped, alone, empty, and starving (you can see where I’m connecting things here).

I do think Jedidiah should be subject to criticism for his neglect of Sydney. It’s so much more complicated than “he shouldn’t be forced to spend time with Sydney if he doesn’t want to anymore”. He’s the one who put the fruit fly in the container, and closed the lid.

Some additional quotes that I’ve formed this analysis from:

Jedidiah makes me cry tears I love him very dearly, he truly thought he was doing the right thing, he was desperate and afraid— but that doesn’t mean he’s exempt from responsibility. File 18 feels like a little peek into his subconscious processes and this is just my personal interpretation of that :3 I love love love character analysis thanks for letting me ramble :3

[laugtherhyena]

Caught myself thinking about Ayame's death and made this

[cenomatic]

am I a hater or did trials get boring after prime time ended

[butwhatifidothis]

What gets me about GW defenders saying that "Claude siding with Edelgard shows how far he's willing to go to get what he wants, he'll use anyone to further his goals" is that, even if that were accurate to his character... that's not what he does in GW. At all.

Which one of Claude's goals are ever progressed once he sides with Edelgard? And how does siding with Edelgard, specifically, accomplish said goal?

Maybe... killing Rhea? But all of the reasons he says he wants her gone in this game are either completely unproven or blatantly incorrect - there's no proof of the Church forcing arranged marriages, Crests do not force obligations onto those that have them (which Claude himself literally proves), and the Church is helping Dimitri restore Duscur - a foreign nation - meaning they are actively willing to help fulfill Claude's main goal that he came to the officer's academy to achieve.

And... that's it! That is the only possible thing that even POTENTIALLY helps Claude's dreams, and taking a five-second look at it shows that it actually does nothing at all to help anything. But in the meantime? Claude weakens Faerghus through agitating Sreng and invading it himself, forcing Dimitri to fight a three front war; he actively helps Edelgard get herself out of a messy situation, even though not helping her and letting her die would have actually helped him and would have actually been him using her like people keep saying he's trying to do; he and Holst even admit that by the end of the war Edelgard is going to make a vassal state of Leicester after taking the lion's share of Faerghus' territory for themselves, which Leicester can't do anything about because of Adrestia's far stronger military. He is the one saying that! He is the one pointing out that that is going to happen! And yet he just keeps going anyway!

He is the one getting used. Very blatantly, and very extensively. Claude walked himself into a trap and lied to himself into thinking he's the one with the upper hand, which somehow managed to convince a large portion of the fanbase too. There's no gray morality here, there's no cunning being showcased, Claude is just an evil stupid tool

[spotsupstuff]

If haboob got a new puppet in the off the string au would she make it sand proof? (No gaps around joints for sand to get stuck in)

excuse her, her puppet is just a touchy subject. the structure is the one with the sand problem, the puppet is more than fine

[bogkeep]

first week back at school and ahhhhhh everything is a little overwhelming currently

- my living space is full of boxes i have simply not had the energy to unpack at all.... hopefully this weekend (but i have also been invited to a Social Event so WE SHALL SEE)

- this school year is going to have So Much Important Stuff happening inbetween the many weeks of practice placement

- such as The Academic Text

- AND i need to finish the big project i was supposed to have finished ages ago

- our teacher this year speaks swedish with a very thick french accent and i speak norwegian with a dialect, we really struggle to understand one another but maybe hopefully that will change over time.... please...........

- i'm stressed about Stupid Bureaucracy Stuff

- and im so so sleepytired :(((

- and it's too humid and warm for comfort :(((((

AT LEAST I HAVE CUTE SOCKS

purchased in a distraught jetlag haze and subsidized by my travel insurance. they're my favourites now

[lafseanchai]

Today started nice and cozy, but wow it has ended in total suckage.

I had a slow cozy day hanging out with the greyhound Apollo that I was dog sitting, and doing a few things around the house. Then I went to the comics club meeting and that was fun and relaxing.

As I was just getting ready to head out, my dad text me, asking me to call him. He was doing his normal gruff check in, "you alive?" "I called you, so yeah." He gave me some advice for my furnace now that the weather is getting to get cold. That was fine and cool.

Then he was like, "Oh, and one more thing. You're gonna vote Republican/conservative in November"

My stomach dropped and I just said, "I am not having this conversation."

"We don't have to have a discussion, but you'll vote Republican, right?"

"Okay, fine, we'll have this discussion. You know I won't. The Republicans want people like me and so many of my friends gone. I would like to have a livable planet for the future. And the Republicans aren't going to do that "

"oh, you know that isn't true"

By this point I have started crying cuz I have been scared about the election, and crying is my stress response.

Dad goes and tries to tell me to not cry, to have a thicker skin, that it was a joke.

"It's a joke until it's not! You've heard the things Trump and the Republicans have been saying. You've got to have heard what they are saying in project 2025,"

"oh that's not Trump"

"it's the people that follow him! And if the Republicans get into power, who knows what will happen"

I am not 100% sure what I said to end the call but it was something like "this is why I didn't want to have this conversation, it always goes this way." And Dad saying something about how yeah we won't have the discussion, but that the family loves me and will always take care of me.

I hung up and threw the phone down and cry screamed for a bit.

Then I started driving, blasting music and yelling lyrics and half formed sentences of frustration.

I headed towards the rainbow house cuz I knew they'd let me vent and give me a hug which is what I needed.

I also got Culver's and absolutely just rage ate that burger, fries and custard. This is not a great coping mechanism, I need to figure out how to not eat my feelings. It is something I am working on.

I was feeling better after petting the critters at the rainbow house and getting some validation on my feelings, a hug, and just letting me ramble vent.

Then Dad text me again saying he hoped I wasn't upset with him.

My automatic response was to be like, "no it's fine", but I did not send that text. I sent a much longer text explaining that it sucks that he pushed when I said I wasn't going to discuss politics, it sucks that I am not allowed to bring up politics cuz it upsets people, but that he and everyone else can "joke' about it. About how he did raise me to care about people and the environment and society, but apparently now that concern I have changed shape from what he expected it to be when I was younger, it was suddenly not okay. I said that yeah, I am upset, but I am going to process my feelings and be okay. But it still sucks.

I followed it up with that I did love him, but I also know we're too damn alike in our reactions so he better not beat himself up about this, just think on things. Cuz I was already feeling bad that I had said all that, but I wanted to be honest instead of skinning over a wound and letting it fester.

THEN.

I got into the house, and every goddamn light on the main floor was on, there were dirty dishes in the sink, stuff all over the dining room table. And the roommate in her room, door closed, lights off, apparently asleep.

I have had several conversations about how dirty dishes in the sink are one of my biggest pet peeves, especially when the dishwasher is like two steps from the sink. Just put them in there. I have said to make sure the lights are turned off when you're not in the room, and especially when you go to sleep for the night, cuz there is no point to having them on.

So I am just extra pissed off now.

I have been going between crying and just being mad for a while, though Jax coming to sit on my torso and purr for a bit did help.

Dad just text me back and said, "sleep well my child" and I said "you too"

So hopefully he does think on what I said and doesn't beat himself up, cuz I am trying not to beat myself up for actually saying something instead of trying to be nice.

[phoenix-before-the-flame]

hello I’d love to hear about natsu. do you have any thoughts abt what he was like before we (and lucy) meet him in fairy tail? like with growing up in the guild and all that

You were the first one in here but I literally had to let your ask marinate in my head longer to answer it properly lol.

So we don't know much about Natsu's childhood, whether it be pre-guild with Igneel or pre- main story when he joined the guild apart from a spare handful of moments and facts, these being:

Makarov was evidently the one to find him.

That god forsaken scene of the others laughin at him for not being able to read.

His moments with Gildarts as a kid

Macao being a teacher to him at some point who taught him to use his fire other than to burn things ( hello Natsu vs Erigor )

Finding and raising Happy with his bestie Lisanna

He never officially formed a team with anyone in the guild before the main story.

I think I might be missing a spare few but you get the idea.

For a main character we know scarcely little about him. His thoughts, his views. Zero. Which honestly for such a long running series is so odd to not even get a peek at what's goin on in his head.

There's nothing absolutely solid about his past that we can get to use to dig into his head. Save for the fact that he loves his friends and his family.

Across the board for a lot of his moments in his past we know he's got a lotta love to give. He loves his Dad, he loves Happy, he loves his guild. But just because you have something doesn't mean you know how to work with it.

He loves Igneel. Igneel disappeared. And that forced him into a denial of his dad being dead so strong that up until present in the main story he still desperately searches for him even when the other slayers had accepted it. ( And i'm almost sure he got laughed at for over the years. Can you imagine? Saying your looking for a dragon in a dragonless world?)

He loves his friends. But I think after that damning moment (which honestly I think is a moment really early is his joining the guild. Like he hadn't gotten to know em 100% yet) of them laughing at him he clams up about certain things.

Any moment of vulnerability he could have with them down the line is tossed out to avoid something like that happening down the line.

Lisanna (lisanna, lisanna ilu. I should draw u more.) was a blessing in that she was working on getting those walls down and she was close! Then her incident happened and he clammed up again even fucking harder than before!

Man this is such a long winded way to answer your question but I think growing up in the guild for Natsu, I think as much as he loves everyone- and he does! He loves em all! Even the mfers who piss him off sometimes- I think even though he was there with everyone he didn't feel as though he could open up (or well risk opening up tbh) to them. So he played along to make things in general easier going forward. (Whether intentional or not is up in the air)

So whatever perceptions everyone had of him he rolled with it. He's a lil bit dumb, he's loud, he's inattentive, etc. He doesn't deny what's said about him. Hell he might even play it up. He just doesn't do anything to break the perception as time went on. And since no one really dug like Lisanna did there was no reason to break it.

So he grew up in the guild as the happy go lucky loner. Nothin more and supposedly, nothing less.

[aromanticasterisms]

greek themed elysian realm star rail arc i am awake and LISTENING

[bunnyb34r]

Ayyyyy FormallyGoodManager told RC to tell me that my area looks AWESOME and to give me 2 thumbs up sgdgdgdgd yayyy 🤙🤙🤙🤙

I'm glad they're finally acknowledging how fucking hard I've been trying with the new height bullshit (well RC and I are trying. NetflixCoworker is still... walking around watching Netflix and her stock is embarrassingly low)

The PJs (like literally every type I have) are kicking my ass though like 😭 stop making these sale items I dont have time to recover and stock!

But I have been getting the big kids side nice and level/high this week so ayyyy 🤙

[elisedonut]

fuck i'm actually going to end up enjoying Sevpercy huh

maybe in a picky I like them when they are in my head or when I do it kind of way

or in a time travel way because when it comes to Snape I like his teenage self a lot more than his adult self

[floral-hex]

so tired of feeling sick all of the time. I’m in the middle of moving, this time to an upstairs apartment, and just carrying one box up the stairs kills me 😰

[earthyorangeaid]

There’s something I really like about Gun Woo’s character and the way they presented him in particular and that’s his ordinary extraordinariness. Gun Woo is amazing, he’s a prodigal boxer who can take down most opponents with just his left hand and about 10 or more men with his right. He’s brave, compassionate, and idealistic. He’s got pretty much every trait that any big shot heroic type character would have, but he seems extremely ordinary most of the time.

And I love that, I LOVE his ordinariness. He’s just a guy; who loves his best friend and his found family and his mom, and he’s just trying to do everything he can to do right by them and he’s dough eyed and emotional and silly and wonderful, and truly just a guy. And that’s everything to me

[dnangelic]

s/o to dark and daisuke for deconstructing so much of their potential for antagonism too tbh. their extremely weird moral alignment always isolates them between good/evil parties and that's meta. they steal but they don't kill, they don't care who they selfishly steal from but still have other selfless, protective reasons for the theft. that's how it's supposed to be for them both, but also rather than fill themselves up with bitterness or anger as is the motivation for a lot of stereotypical villains, they'll always be the sorts to make note of and appreciate even the smallest intimacies and kindnesses instead. because they're so isolated and they want something beyond it, they're likewise always trying for connection. there are some characters that are swift to develop grudges and a vengeance that immediately squares them against the world and brings them enemies, and sure dark especially can be habitually petty or apathetic, but even then as long as he's with daisuke, then they're both the sorts to pay immense gratitude to those who accept and assist rather than linger obsessively over people who've hurt them.