#help i've been rewatching the whole series

[obscureaestheticist]

Dark Con & Succession War Characters as Players & GMs

Ging: Derailing god. Knows a pirating / rom site for everything. Adores Pathfinder and 3.5e but runs games as if Tomb of Horrors was just easy mode. Pariston: "It's what my character would do :)" Lamentations enthusiast. Leorio [current arc]: Channels the power of thesis block to destroy hordes of bandits. Cheadle: Strategic player who looks on in despair at their chaotic and extremely violent comrades. T-T Mizaistom: T-posing human fighter that somehow keeps pulling off the most significant moments in the campaign. Beyond: That one tiktok friend who cosplays as their character for each session and runs campaigns like theatrical wrestling performances. That vocal training has gotta be used for something! Muherr: Army vet, seen a lotta stuff, but runs the most heartfelt and hopeful campaigns you'll ever play. 7th Sea Gm. Steiner: Sweetest guy you know, writes the most terrifying mysteries ever. Pure unfiltered neurosis expressed through Call of Cthulhu and World of Darkness. Kurapika [current arc]: 3rd life-changing trauma this week "Sure! I can make it for Friday!" Melody: In it for the deep pan crispy lore. Makes the maps out of love. Can't play an evil character the save their life. Has mountains of Solo-RPG journals of wonderous adventures. Hanzo: Falls into the habit of down-to-Earth friendly characters that sling death threats and "comedic violence" at everyone to the point of awkwardness. Shall avenge every minor NPC the gm forgot to name. Basho: Doesn't own a single rpg book that doesn't also double as an art book. Bill: "That game from Stranger Things?" Theta: Evokes awe from fellow players for her RP skills. Greater knowledge of in-game politics than the actual DM. One Ring and Game of Thrones RPG enjoyer. Tserriednich: Tonight's Session - The GMs Barely-Disguised Fetish ... Kult & Drakar och Demoner for life. Benjamin: WILL apply real military strategies to your game regardless of setting and character. YES! He will bring diagrams! YES! You should be concerned! Twilight: 2000 nut. Zhang Lei: Chill. Enjoying the vibes. Simply awaiting the fruition of his diabolical schemes to spring into action... Once every other player is done with their wacky flumph hijinks. Camilla: Dungeon Bitches & Mork Borg. Throwing hands. Fuck everything else. Fireball isn't enough. Stay away from the loot. Halkenburg: Heart of gold, but tries waaaaay too hard to help the fantasy world he's meant to just be smacking trolls around in. Kacho & Fugetsu: Supports queer indie ttrpgs and are currently trying to figure out where to store all the gigabytes of pdfs. Hinrigh: "Yes, this is a rip off of all my favorite anime characters and I love them :D" Zakuro: Too shy to speak up, didn't realize they missed 5 turns. Lynch: Screw politeness, fists are all you need to ask questions. Morena: The "Nice Girl" Oito: "I just hope the game contains no foul language. Do we need a console?" Woble: The group mascot

[brittlebutch]

Desperately trying to make sense of Alex's motivations in Season Two and you know, I do eventually have to wonder if maybe Alex wasn't actually lying in the majority of those tapes.

Like, we tend to assume that Alex's motivations have been a consistent throughline since the college years, but do we actually know that that's the case? Do we know for sure that Alex was acting in deliberate, calculated ways in 2006; or could it be that he's telling the Truth on those olds tapes when he says he's blacking out and can't remember what's happening to anyone? After all, if we're assuming that Season 2 Alex's motivations are the exact same as his motives in Season 3, then it doesn't make any sense at all that he spend months working with Jay to try to find Amy; Season 3 Alex would have attempted to kill Jay like, on sight just to get things over with as quickly as possible and contain the spread of contamination as best as he could.

But, maybe, if Alex really had been separated from Amy after the events of the 04-04-10 tape, and if he really doesn't know where she is, then maybe that could make things start to make more sense. Maybe he really had been watching Jay's channel, and seeing Jay start going through the same things he went through in college without things devolving into violence and disappearances, and wondered if things maybe could play out differently this time. Maybe he really did send that tape to Jay to ask him for help, maybe he really was just trying to find Amy.

But then, instead of actually being helpful, Jay makes it extremely clear that he's a lot more interested in stalking Alex than he is in finding Amy. Alex asked for help, and instead there's a bunch of masked dudes on Jay's heels that keep attacking him, Jay is breaking into his house, stealing his things, leading the Operator right to him all over again, keeps trying to get other people (namely: Jessica -- if Alex is being honest when he says that his call reassuring her that Amy had been found was an effort to make Sure she stayed away from everything that was happening) involved; and instead of anything getting better, instead of anyone finding Amy, things are just getting worse all over again.

It's not until after the incident at the tunnel that things seem to start rapidly devolving. Rather than a calculated attempt to finally follow through with his need to curb the spread of contamination, this is very clearly an outburst of rage and terror. Alex's "I told you not to follow me" line in conjunction with Jay speculating that Alex didn't know who that guy was, to me, pretty firmly seems to speak to Alex having mistaken that stranger for Jay. From his point of view, Alex knows that Jay and totheark know where he live, have broken in before, he suspects that Jay stole a key to make it easier to get into his house, and he's been followed on the daily for months -- Alex is sitting at the tunnel because he doesn't know where else he can go without being constantly surveilled, hunted, and assaulted. And instead of getting a moment by himself to breathe, Jay followed him out there all over again (it feels like Alex looks directly at the camera in Jay's footage of him from this day; he knew for a fact that Jay was there), and then to make matters worse now 'Jay' won't even keep his distance anymore.

So Alex lashes out. And it's not until afterwards that he looks down and finally recognizes that this wasn't Jay -- it was someone completely innocent. Things have finally reached the low point he was at in college all over again; maybe even worse this time. If Alex doesn't remember attacking anyone in college, but he was at least partially conscious of it this time, then things have reached an entirely new rock bottom, they've reached an absolute point of no return.

He has no idea what happened to Amy, and he's spent months trying to find her with no hint of where she could be; he doesn't know where Jay actually is or what additional trouble he could be causing at this point; he does know that now innocent people are getting caught in the crossfire (in regards to the stranger in the tunnel, and also Jessica now that Jay has her phone number, and the untold number of people Jay got involved when he started posting videos to the Marble Hornets channel); things are spiraling out of control and there's no one left to ask for help. The situation isn't getting better, it's getting worse; things aren't getting easier to handle, they're just getting more out of hand; the negative impact is spreading and who knows how much further it can still go?

So, Alex decides to go scorched earth. He disfigures the body with the rock either to hide evidence or to make sure the guy would actually stay dead and not just get back up to start his own cycle of contamination in a few years. He tries to give Jay one last chance to back off, and Jay instead admits he's been talking to Jessica, acts obstinate and lies about not having Alex's spare key, and then breaks into Alex's house a second time (minimum). If Alex doesn't stop him now, who will? Alex met with Jay planning to kill the others, and then himself, so he could put a stop to this once and for all and keep things from getting any worse than they already were.

Maybe it makes a lot more sense if, rather than being a strangely incomprehensible detour on what should have been a straight path, the events of Season Two were the breaking point that put Alex on that path to begin with.

[wistfulwatcher]

in an era where every show without record-breaking ratings gets axed immediately, i would just like to say how deeply grateful i am that crazy ex-girlfriend managed to air for four whole seasons and tell one of the most beautiful and moving stories of self-acceptance and love i've ever seen.

i just finished rewatching it (yet again) and every time i do i just think what an absolute shame it would have been if it had been cancelled after one or two (or even three) seasons. because, while it was clever and fun from the beginning, rebecca's mental state required the show to be so boy-crazy that it was a little tough to believe that the show would end up seeing the story through to where we eventually end up. the audience certainly got hints as to its final message early on ("love doesn't need to be a person, it can be a passion"). but because rebecca was rejecting those messages, the audience sort of had to, too. and if the show had been cancelled while rebecca was obsessed with josh? certain that her only path to happiness was romantic love and validation from a man? if we had never seen her truly understand and acknowledge ghost!akopian's words? i'm sure there would have been articles speculating on where the series could have ended up, acknowledging with resigned tones that the show had potential, with the seeds that had been planted.

but god, discussion of "the potential" of the show would have paled in comparison to what we got. because hot damn, did cxg end up doing character growth better than the vast majority of other series. (and not just for rebecca! almost every character in the large ensemble got to grow in a very organic, subversive, and meaningful way!) for a show that was consistently in danger because of their extremely low ratings, it was pretty ballsy of cxg not to rush through rebecca's story to prove its intention. for them to let rebecca be as frustrating and unlikable and unhealthy as she was for so many episodes, simply because they knew how necessary it was to show us the depth of rebecca's mistakes and struggles before she finally sought help and began to heal and grow. and the story was so, so much better and poignant for it. rebecca's season four growth feels very earned, and her end of series resolution to pursue her passion (her true love!) is so satisfying because it feels realistic. the audience has spent four years seeing her love for theater (and how it got tangled up in josh/the idea of romantic love) and when rebecca eventually realizes the same it's such a satisfying sense of finally.

it's an experience that has become painfully rare lately; too many series feel as though they're trying to cram as much into the first season as they can for fear of cancellation, and allowing no room for characters or relationships or story to grow naturally. they don't allow for anything other than the bare minimum plot. their characters can't breathe.

cxg didn't do that. they continued to tell the story they were telling, at the pace at which it needed to be told. and the series was truly phenomenal because of that choice. because of that trust in its own story and characters. cxg is a perfect example of what television can be, how powerful it can be, when it's allowed to be treated like the long-form storytelling medium it is. and i am so grateful for that.

[secriden]

rewatching love sea and i've got some episode 1 mahasamut thoughts:

i'm so appreciative of how much we get to see of mahasamut being an important part of the island community in this episode. its character establishing/quick scenes but we see a consistent thread of kindness, gentle and good humoured interactions, and just overall helpfulness to others. you see him having fun with palm who is younger and clearly loves and respects mahasamut. you see how he knows and cares for different people in very personal ways.

another thing epsiode 1 does a good job of doing is establishing how intelligent mahasamut is both intellectually and emotionally.

he instantly clocks on that tongrak thinks the island/mahasamut is "beneath" him. tongrak is a jerk from the get go, acting as if his wealth (constantly referring to how expensive his suitcases are) allows him to treat mahasamut like crap. he assumes mahasamut can't speak/understand the central dialect and openly makes disparaging comments about his intelligence.

but rather than getting annoyed/offended, mahasamut weaponises the prejudice and leans into it to annoy tongrak. he doubles down on the Southern dialect (even after he reveals he can speak Central). when tongrak whines about not understanding him, mahasamut just repeats himself but slower (such a good allusion to when people yell at you slower and more loudly as if that will magically make you understand English better). he leans into the whole 'small town awed at the fair skin of the city boy' act (masterful depiction of someone weaponising the 'dumb country hick' stereotype).

mahasamut just has such a good handle on tongrak from the start and it really showcases how smart and intuitive he is; like he instinctively knows how to handle this feral cat of a human being that tongrak is (i say this with complete affection).

his handling of tongrak is so incredibly effective and it throws tongrak so off his game that he looses all cool and just blurts out how baffled he is by mahasamut's reactions to him. this tells us (and mahasamut) that not only is tongrak aware that he's being a jerk, he's doing it on purpose because this usually works to drive people away. but it doesn't and never will work on mahasamut and the show lays the foundations of this aspect of mahasamut's character right from the start.

but whilst mahasamut remains unfazed by tongrak's bitchiness (for lack of a better term), we also see that he is not going to be a pushover either (and i love that he never becomes that even after he falls in love; in this, mahasamut's character is wonderfully consistent). he isn't shy about calling out tongrak for his poor behaviour/rudeness. he specifically points out that tongrak's been acting like a spoiled pet (or child).

but also!! whilst all that is going on, mahasamut is also doing a really good job of taking care of tongrak. when he enters tongrak's room, he cleans up after the tornado of trash and beer bottles, puts away his clothes properly, then brings tongrak out to get some proper food in him (it's not his fault that tongrak only has a single lettuce leaf; he tried). mahasamut takes him out on the boat to relax him and give him inspiration for his novel. and when he realises that tongrak was genuinely scared and upset, mahasamut actually treats that with sincere care and concern, apologising and comforting him (in the novel, apparently tongrak slaps him and he still responds only with care and comfort). he's so incredibly gentle with tongrak here.

later in the series we see how much of their relationship development hinges on the the juxtaposition of words vs actions because neither of them put much stock by words (tongrak, because its the tools of his trade and he knows how they can be used to deceive; mahasamut because he never cares what people say about him) but episode 1 does a great job of establish just how good mahasamut is going to be at showing his love for tongrak once he gets there.

[chirpsythismorning]

Mike's character regression can be explained in large part by one emotion in particular: guilt

Just want to preface this by saying that, this is not Mike slander. I love this dude. In fact, I think what makes Mike such an interesting character is that a lot of his behavior throughout the series can be explained in part by previous moments, and after really looking at all these moments together, what you end up with is a pretty fucked up story.

So while some might want to take this as Mike slander, these points I'm making are a part of Mike and things he has done and said and whether they were intentionally harmful or not, it's Mike. It's all shaped him and his role in the story. The fact that we're seeing a visible shift in his behavior at all, with plenty of moments from the show to back up what brought us here, makes it compelling enough to talk about.

So, without further ado, back to our roots:

Ah yes, the infamous canon proof disputing Mike's I think my life started that day we found you in the woods, claim during his monologue. Not only that, but in this original scene from 1x02, it turns out Mike actually intended to send her away the next day (all of which El could hear Mike saying from the open bathroom door).

Mike outright calling El a weapon, again telling the others they need her because they stand no chance at getting Will back otherwise.

I wont elaborate on this now, because there is way too much to unpack that'll honestly be more worthwhile discussing further on.

For now, this is a secret tool that will help us later.

These next couple scenes right here though, are pretty painful if I'm being completely honest. The way its shot, specifically El's very visible exhaustion, accompanied by the varying priorities of others around her, leaves me feeling pretty unsettled upon rewatches.

I obviously can't remember how I felt when I watched these scenes for the first time, but I imagine I viewed them as this huge romantic moment for Mike and El (I was tricked by heteronormativity, okay?). But, again, upon rewatching them since then, I've realized I get this sort of sad feeling by the end. You'll see what I mean.

El obviously just went through something extremely traumatic. She tried to go find Will and Barb in the void, only to find Barb dead and Will presumably alive, but then slipping through her fingers at the last second (no, literally).

We then got a moment where Joyce held El while the others sat by quietly because she clearly needed a moment of comfort given what she just endured.

Then in this scene shortly after, everyone is leaving to get ready for their final attempt at saving Will.

Now, notice how not only Lucas, but also Dustin make the effort to reach out to El to comfort her affectionately after that traumatic event, with those twos' actions specifically being showcased in sequence?

Lucas, who spent the better part of the season being critical of El, is now ending the season rubbing El's shoulder to warm her up, literally soothing her to make her feel better.

Then there's Dustin, who right after Lucas' gesture makes a gesture of his own, putting his hand on her knee reassuringly, to show her he's there and he's happy she's okay.

And lastly there's Mike, who is so kindly allowing El to rest her head on his shoulder. This placement of Mike and El here is definitely a testament to the fact that Mike has vouched for El this whole time in contrast to the others and so, understandably, she put her head on his shoulder for reassurance, because out of the three of them, he's the one whose been looking out for her the most. (Right?)

Now you might be thinking that this sequence's only purpose was to show Lucas and Dustin's development with El, and that it wasn't intentional that they focused on Lucas and Dustins' priorities in this moment in contrast to Mikes'. And I raise you, this next scene.

Here we have a focus on Mike looking on to where everyone left, while the others beside him are presumably just processing what went down and taking a rest (and boy oh boy do they (El) need one).

Mike on the other-hand decides to take this moment of rest to display the most cliche and universal forms of distracted unrest known to man: he checks his watch.

Mike then stands up abruptly, causing El to fall without his shoulder there for her to rest on anymore, all while her and Dustin are looking on after him, sort of like... Okay?

It's small. It might seem insignificant. But if you actually pay attention to what this scene is trying to make you feel, after really looking at it for what it is, it's kind of sad.

In a moment that chooses to highlight the other boys' acknowledgment of El after what just happened, and not only that, but at the tale end of their final battle of the season, Mike is... distracted?

Mike, who has been presumably looking out for El more than the others in the party this whole time, is conveniently out of commission? And right now when El is looking for his reassurance the most? Mike doesn't even have a moment to say, 'Hey I'll be right back, I just want to check something. Can one of you?--', asking Lucas or Dustin to sit next to her in his place. No. Dude just stands up without even acknowledging her.

If it was any other moment in the show, under less post-traumatic circumstances for El, then I wouldn't even think much of it. But it's at this point in the story when El is essentially at her most exhausted and quite literally seeking out support from others, specifically Mike, that makes his distractedness so eery.

Again, you might still be thinking that this isn't that deep. However, I think based on the events leading up to this, and what follows right here, could quite literally hold the answer to the guilt Mike is still keeping to himself to this day.

So... How are we feeling?

Are we feeling like Mike None of you are thinking about El's wellbeing right now! She could get brain damage from using her powers too much! She's not a weapon!* Wheeler is a little bit of a hypocrite? (I told you that tool would come in handy!)

It's actually quite terrifying how similar this scene is framed to the scene in Hopper's cabin in s3, where Mike pretty much says the exact opposite. In s1 Mike goes from being one of the first people to refer to El as a weapon within the context of them using her powers to find Will, with him being completely un-attuned to the fact that she is exhausted in this moment while the others are saying El's rest and safety is the most important, to then in s3 completely flipping script and saying El was using her powers for nothing, blaming the others for treating her like a weapon and not taking her wellbeing into consideration.

It would be one thing if Mike had a little arc where he acknowledged this script flip. Because that's what it is. It is them having Mike use a word in s1 to describe El, that being weapon, only to say the others are treating her like that with that same word being used. It is them having Mike not agknowledge El's well being after overusing her powers, only to say the others aren't taking her wellbeing into consideration for overusing her powers.

And it would be one thing if Mike had spoke to El or literally anyone about how he felt like he wronged El for planning on sending her away the next day after they found her so that they could go back to looking for Will, or how he said she was a weapon that they needed in order to find Will, essentially being no better than the people she just escaped from, who also used her for her powers. But we don't get that (actually we do.. but it's not acknowledged for what it is aka survivor's guilt. It's instead seen as romantic... another tool for later...)

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think any of Mike's behavior takes away from what Mike did do for El, because yes he was kind and accepting when the others weren't. But even despite all of that, at the end of the day, he was often at the forefront of expecting El to risk her life for them, even if he wasn't outright asking that of her.

Before you freak out, No. I don't think Mike, a literal child, was capable of fathoming that El was going into these situations risking her life. She's a superhero. El's alternative was literally going back to the lab, running, or staying with Mike. This was her safest option.

After a bunch of rewatches and putting together a lot of these moments as a whole, I've come to a point where I believe that Mike's behavior throughout s1 was him thinking that because of who El was, she's already in danger at all times. That is a constant reality for her. And so why not have her help them find Will, because she is able to, all while he can also help her. And El clearly wanted to help them, because she wanted to help good people and finally do something meaningful with her powers for a change. Unfortunately, she also had to endure PTSD flashbacks almost every single time Mike and the boys had her use her powers to help find Will.

Speaking of Will, he is currently missing and possibly dead. Will also, in contrast to El (for now...), does not have any sort of superpowers.

Mike's concern over the threat of Will's livelihood is much greater than Mike's acknowledgement to the true risks El is exposing herself to each time she uses her powers to help them. That is s1 canon.

Is there times when Mike is focused on El and her well being. Absolutely! But is there also times when Mike is not showing any display of concern to El's well being in the moment, in complete contrast to the other characters around him... Also yes.

And so the events happening the way they did, with Mike himself not fully comprehending the severity of what's been going on during these high stake situations going on around him, makes sense.

And that's what makes it all the more sad that when Mike finally does realize what he's truly been asking of El this whole time, which is to risk her life for them, it's too late.

This whole scene is obviously very emotional. All of the boys are crying, but the focus on Mike calling out for El painfully is heartbreaking.

But what's even more sad to me, is that El has been sort of used to mistreatment her whole life. She's used to having to find any comfort she could get from people in her life, all the while they were using her for her powers. I mean even despite Brenner being who he was and doing what he did, she still showed these signs of wanting to love him despite it. Which is very very fucked up. But knowing what she's gone through, makes sense.

Mike on the other-hand does greatly contrast Brenner because he was one of the first people to actually treat her with genuine kindness right from the start (before he even knew she had powers), making it a lot easier for her to care for him even despite that pesky trait of using her for her powers being almost synonymous with Brenner's very similar trait.

So when she looks back at Mike, and points him out specifically before sacrificing herself, it feels like a few things at once.

It feels like her acknowledging the fact that she appreciated him specifically for taking her in and supporting her more genuinely than anyone has in her entire life.

And yet it also feels like her, either intentionally or unintentionally, acknowledging the unfortunate side affect caused by days of Mike leading the efforts to find Will, with the expectation of her to do things to achieve that, which could have all lead to her demise technically. And so now when it all comes down to it and the stakes are at their highest yet, same as the risk, she's got to a point where she believes there is no other choice but to do just that, risk her life, especially if it means saving them.

While this is happening, Mike is backtracking in real time. He is trying to get El to stop and it's because he doesn't want her to die. Obviously.

But that's the fucked up part isn't it? When he finally realized what he's been asking of her this whole time, it's too late.

Which takes us to S2 Mike Wheeler, known by many for being a boy whose been calling his true love everyday for almost a year now because he's just so in love, but is actually in fact a boy suffering the most intense form of survivors guilt, one that involves a person who genuinely feels responsible for the persons death...

But that will probably take at least another 2,000 words so I'm thinking maybe I better split this into multiple parts.

I will tease that the next part involves one specific detail in particular that I never see anyone talk about, a detail that I think, in combination with what's discussed in this post, is so important to understanding Mike's breakdown for what it truly was at the end of season 2. I will also probably do more posts beyond that for s3-4, to delve into the impacts these moments from the first two seasons have basically put in place a perfect recipe for what is currently going down.

So feel free to stay tuned for those nonsense updates.

Continued

[werewolfsmile]

So I rewatched The Card Game Job today and oof this scene at the end really hit me in the guts this time.

I know this scene is so much about Breanna and her identity struggles and I don't wanna detract from that, but this was the first time I've really noticed Parker glancing off to the side.

She's not looking at Springer or Cordozar, she's looking at Eliot. And I can't help but think that she is thinking about herself and Eliot and Hardison. How she's been called crazy her whole life and never really had a place to fit in. How Eliot lost his identity to the one thing that was meant to define him. How Hardison is well adjusted but still went through those same struggles of being different and strange and not fitting in.

Parker is thinking about how she found a home with not just the Leverage crew but with Eliot and Hardison. She knows how deeply, intrinsically important that home is to her, and this helps her understand Breanna better. But this is also a moment of Parker missing Hardison, of wanting him to be here to share in Parker's revelation and Breanna's triumph through vulnerability.

I love that we see the reactions of the team to Breanna taking this stand, especially the pride on Harry and Eliot's faces. But Parker looks not only proud of her mentee, she looks a little heartbroken. Because Breanna just said, 'Like we do belong' and now Parker can't stop thinking about Hardison and how he was truly the first person in her life to make her feel like she belonged somewhere but he's not here to share this moment and ...

Idk it's just this homage to Hardison for me. He's not physically present for most of the series and we miss him. But his influence, his presence is still felt. And I love that we get to see it even through moments like this.

And yeah, I'm like Parker in this moment. I wish Hardison had been there to watch his little sister with pride.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

in that post abt Charlie being the only one who really respects Vaggies name (love btw I hadn't put that together) who was the one that accidentally deadnamed her I can remember someone else saying it like vagina but I've only seen the series once I havent rewatched

Angel Dust in ep 1, while Vaggie is trying and failing to record Niffty.

AKA, local gay spider gets lost in the teasing nickname sauce and unknowingly survives deadnaming the grumpy murder angel lesbian while she's trying to make a neat home video for her gf

Angel Dust: "Ya tellin' me I came up with the same name thing as that dick did??"

Vaggie: "Ye-p."

Angel Dust: "THE dick? THAT 'the' DICK!?"

Vaggie: "Yes."

Angel Dust: "The one who started off the whole murder spree thing an' left ya bleedin' in an alleyway?"

Vaggie: "Dick obsessed minds think alike I guess."

Angel Dust: "UGH! Don't even compare me to the shithead! He liked dicks 'cause he loved only himself- I love dicks 'cause they're GREAT! Includin' the home grown ones!"

Vaggie: "If it helps, he'd probably have been pissed a sinner like you shared anything with him."

Angel Dust: "IT DON'T HELP BUt THANKS."

Vaggie: "No problem."

Angel Dust: "Toots.... I swear on my own rhinestone studded grave, I'll never call ya that again."

Vaggie: "How about you stop with the toots."

Angel Dust: "Do ya want me to die?"

Vaggie: "What about Vaggisaurus."

Angel Dust: "That's the coolest damn nickname I've EVER thought up an' ya can silence it over my dead body."

Vaggie: "...can I have that in writing-"

Angel Dust: "NOT LITERALLY!"

Vaggie: "Fiiine." (sighs) (drops spear) "Was worth a shot."

[pagodazz]

your post abt sexualizing the emh characters and actors was based but lets be real we all skipped the princeton tapes anyway

Im going to be so upfront rn. and don't take any offense I'm not mad or anything but I'm definitely gonna get heated HELP.

I listen to the Princeton tapes almost everyday, I revisit the transcripts often when I want easy access to the dialogue. The Princeton tapes might actually be my favorite part of the everymanHYBRID lore. It's so important to everything you need to know for the whole series and it helps explain so much, especially when it comes to vinnie as character.

the Princeton tapes have so much to offer and I think it's such a shame that this fandom chooses to ignore all the effort that the everymanHYBRID guys put into this series. The Princeton tapes has never failed to make me emotional HELP. it's beautiful shit. So I'm so sorry anon I literally cannot agree with this at all because the Princeton tapes are my absolute everything. I genuinely relate to Princeton Vinnie (& also Roger) more than I might relate to anyone on the channel. They're so real, and I wish more than anything they were more than tapes but at the same time I love it so much it's so perfect.

Also while during my most recent rewatch I've realized that in the series HABIT himself will use quote's and shit that Princeton Vinnie himself has said.

This one always sticks out to me, because it feels like habit pulled those words RIGHT out of Vinnies mouth only to in turn use them on him. Of course the Lexi video predates when the tapes came out, but canonically the tapes happened WAYYYYY before this, considering it takes place in the late 80s.

this goes with my idea that HABIT himself has probably had access to those tapes (atleast at some point) and he did he's research on Mr everyman here. but that one is just my personal opinion and I don't expect people to agree.

While people think that the Princeton tapes are daunting and take too long, they're literally shorter than emh as a whole series if ur watching the right shit.

these videos are basically the full in depth EMH lore and it has videos in it that long since been deleted.

If you're getting into everymanHYBRID and you're not getting into all the lore and then you're gonna go an act like you know everything it's genuinely so??? because you're literally missing out on KEY information.

like did you guys know habit IS in the tapes 😱😱⁉️⁉️⁉️ did you WATCH finding fairmount all the way through????

did you know Evan and Jeff are there ⁉️⁉️⁉️

ALSO ??? PATRICK FROM MLANDERSEN0?????? DUDE???? HES IN THERE. THE RAKE FUCKING TALKS TO VINNIE IN THERE.

did you know that EVEN VINNIES DEAD FUCKING GIRLFRIEND LEXI IS THERE. IT HAS SO MUCH INFO. YOU LEARN WAY MORE SHIT ABOUT FAIRMOUNT AND THE MINETOWN FOUR IN IT. IM GENUINELY SO AT A LOSS RN. HELP IM TOO AUTISTIC FOR THIS ASK. BECAUSE IN NO WORLD WOULD I EVER DREAM OF SKIPPING THE TAPES.

[johannesviii]

Parallels, foreshadowing and narrative echoes in Infinity Train Book 3 episode 1 "The Musical Car" [1/2]

I can pinpoint the moment I rewatched that episode as the one when my obsession with this show went completely off the rails pun intended in early March 2024. I haven't been normal about it since then even though we're currently in November. Of course almost every series ever made uses parallels and foreshadowing in some capacity, it's just that Infinity Train episodes are about ten minutes long and there's an amazing amount of foreshadowing, parallels and other narrative echoes packed in those first ten minutes and it drives me nuts

I'm not going to explain most of these things. Some of them are incredibly obvious, some aren't. I'm just listing them so we can scream about them together and hopefully I'll feel less insane afterwards

Also I had to make two posts cause I hit the new image limit. Kill me

Let's go

A familiar place becoming hostile and unfamiliar

The first time we see Grace in this Book, she's basically reenacting something she wanted to do as a kid, except now she's the one in control

I also can't help but notice there's three different versions of Hazel from three different angles when Grace is questioning her own decisions in her tape and her mind is basically using Hazel as a mouthpiece for that. When I look at you I see me

Dance lessons foreshadowing

The first time we see Simon in this Book, he's painting a miniature, and it's part of a series of parallels which makes me ESPECIALLY insane. Something about him seeing himself as a little soldier, then treating Grace as if she was one of his miniatures later on. Bear with me for SIX FUCKING GIFS here cause it's a whole extended metaphor which keeps reappearing through the entirety of Book 3 and I've never seen anyone talk about that specific one. Maybe it deserved its own post. Too late now

He clearly loves to collect stuff. I wonder who he got that from, uh

Cool radar design. I wonder where we saw that kind of round, clockpunk-adjacent type of tech before

So there's two halves of one mask, one half is golden and represents comedy and it's on the right, one is the mask of tragedy and it's on the left. Cool, cool, nothing to see here

Grace learned from the best

Not bad, Simon. YEAH UH, SO, ABOUT THAT-

"I was ten"

"never trust an adult!" being weaponised later on

Only one half of the mask survived - the right side, now a tragedy mask and placed on the left side of the screen. Wow I wonder if this foreshadows anything about how this story will end, uh

All of this happens before the title card even appears on screen and I already hit image limit. I'm fine! I'm fine

Here's part 2

[angelinasnotebooks]

Hate that my form of hyperfixation is consuming and not creating.

I think I've been falling in love with ideas my whole life. I see colors and concepts and characters, and I want every part of the illusion to play around my body and immerse my mind and soul. I thought growing up I would be an artist. When that mentally shattered, I moved on to thinking I would become an author. Now, however, I don't know what or who I'll be. All I know is that my brain never stops coming up with ideas. 

Yet, with all these ideas comes the possibility of creation. It's what I want, isn't it? I want to create these pictures and stories and share them with the world. So, why am I motionless in my pursuit to bring my mind to life? I have a library in my head. There's a girl in there. Her favorite color is blue. She doesn't know if life is worth living. I have an art museum there too. There's a portrait of a dying renegade, and a demon alter ego desiring joy. Then there's the realm of fandoms. The endless multiverse of continuations and alternatives.  

There's a lot going on inside my brain and imagination. Chemicals I do not understand and signals I cannot control. An abundance of beauty only an individual can conjure with their subjectivity. With no outlet for these thoughts and images, I find it all to be too much at times. Wings heavy on my back and flightless under the pressure. The ability to soar is there, but the weight within is burdensome.  

Every day I come up with something new. Some ideas are fresh while others are another line on the loom, but that is all they are. Thoughts. Ideas. Invisible whisps, webs, and wishes. It's as if the only part of my frontal lobe that works is that of imagination and complex thinking. I attempt short stories, painting, studying, chores, school projects, craft projects and I never get them done. Planning, time management, logical reasoning, and decision-making have all taken a backseat. I can't get any of them done, so I turn to what has already been done. 

I rewatch a favorite show. I read another fanfic. I click on a YouTube video and another. I scroll Tumblr. I read character analysis. I try on the clothes in my closet. I add shit to my wish list. I post photos from two months ago on my Instagram. I relate to autistic ADHD tiktokers. I pretend Pinterest will help me get my life together. I think about the MCU. I watch another comfort, crime, haunted, mythical series. I visit my AO3 bookmarks. I doom scroll whatever app I can get my eyes on. I turn thirteen again and either spiral into a depressive state or become infatuated with the Hunger Games--again.

The point is, I can't force my brain to work on the original ideas. Sitting at a desk with supplies doesn't get my hands moving. I fall numb waiting for my body and mind to comply with my intentions. So, I end up here again. Hitting a heart button to let other people know that their commentary and hard work have reached me, and I liked it.  

I don’t want all my ideas and universes to end where they are. I don’t want to minimize or invalidate my existence, or the experiences of others like me, by remaining artistically stagnant. I want my mind to be a visual tangible galaxy free to be roamed and explored. I want to have my heart in my hands, and I want to give it to every single person that I can. I want these thoughts, these precious ideas out of my head and into yours, dear reader. I don't want to consume; I want to create. If I'm going to go down the rabbit hole, I want to be the rabbit. The entrance maker. Not the lost girl I am right now. 

[ailoveuu]

Hello, and welcome to a series that I would like to call "what does an anti have to say", in which I watch a bunch of anti-proship videos to see if they can turn me into an anti!

Today, we are going to be watching "An Ex Proshippers advice" by Loki ZeGaymer. I found this video through someone on here (tamarahtalkstv), so major thanks to them for even making their own post about this and inspiring this whole thing.

Will I stop being anti harassment? Will I give up on blocking content I don't like?? Am I going to stop shipping bad ships (even though I keep it to myself 9/10 and have only mentioned my comships twice on this account)??? Will this be my last post before deactivating???? Let's find out together!

An obvious disclaimer, because the fact that I have to say this fucking sucks: don't harass this person. Being proship is all about being anti harassment, and if you can't be a decent human being over fiction, you are the issue. We are all humans, treat each other as such.

One of the first things that becomes obvious right off the bat, that actually gives this video so much more credibility than most others, is that this person used to be a proshipper! This is a very common rhetorical device, known as ethos. Believe me, I hate ethos, pathos, and logos discussions, but they exist for a reason. The fact that this person used to be a proshipper is them saying that they have experience with such things and can understand what they're talking about, in a way. They say both in the video and in the caption that they used to be a proshipper, so if you'd actually want to see how antis think, this could be helpful since they've been on both sides.

Although, an odd thing that seemed to show right after is the story of how they became a proshipper. The claim that they got groomed into proshipping is a common one, and I'm not surprised. Believe it or not, fiction can be used to spread ideas and connect to vulnerable individuals. My initial issue with this is that this wording, that they were groomed into proshipping, acts like proshipping in general is what caused this. Any type of fiction, even "legal" fiction, can lead to this.

I've had people in their 20's say that if they were my age, they'd have a crush on me. We met through harmless roleplaying. I was in a toxic relationship with someone I met through roleplaying, who happened to be an anti. Off topic, but I'm starting to think that roleplaying is the issue...but you get my point. Any and all type of fiction can be used against people. I know that toxic ex of mine did use "legal" fiction against me, and that's just how it is. Fiction can be used for malicious purposes. Any and all types.

(Also, jfc their ex sounds awful. Idgaf that they were 16-17, wdym you groomed a 14 y/o while in an online cult??? Ik this is about proshipping, but I genuinely hope they've recovered from this. Again, I speak from experience, that ex deserves to go to hell and back - and I'm the least religious person on this planet.)

Now, I'm gonna paraphrase, bc I don't wanna rewatch the clips 6383 times in order to get the exact quote. At 3:03, their claim is that "I've been groomed by multiple people, all of whom were proshippers. This contradicts their claim that fiction doesn't affect reality." All I'm gonna say, is that people who think fiction DOESN'T affect reality are stupid.

I feel giddy when I read cute fanfiction, I cry over sad scenes, I use it to cope! Fiction is affecting my reality, because I have let it. Fiction is affecting my reality, but not on a 1:1 basis. I'm a huge horror fan, I've been like that since about 3rd/4th grade. By this logic though, I'm a mass murderer, abuser, cult leader, and overall the embodiment of evil. Last time I checked, I've never killed a person.

At 3:39, they begin to talk about getting doxxed. I'm starting to think this person is like, my long lost twin bc I also got doxxed a while back, but not for being a proshipper. Ironically enough, that is exactly why they got doxxed. I haven't moved on past this part, but I'm going to make a prediction: I'm hoping that they say that this was wrong, they nobody deserves this, and that this is something that antis shouldn't do no matter how wrong proshipping may be. Was I right? Well...

Uh they didn't mention it at all past that. They didn't like, say "that's wrong", but instead they mention that they got therapy, and thank goodness for that! Idc that they're an anti, getting groomed and doxxed is not something you go through and be completely fine after. They say that they got therapy specifically for the abuse and not for the comshipping, which I agree with, esp since my own therapist agrees that people do use comshipping as a way to cope.

4:12, and now we're moving onto the whole anti-harassment claim. Oh no.

I haven't moved past that as of writing this part, but I'm willing to bet that they're gonna say "you can't be anti harassment and a groomer" which I agree with. Although that's just common sense. I don't think that it'll be worded right though because that'll just continue that idea that ALL proshippers are groomers, which this video literally contracts because I have faith that this person wasn't a groomer ever, esp not as a proshipper.

"They claim to be anti harassment while invalidating my trauma and misgendering my best friend." So that's a false claim and does not represent every proshipper...many proshippers are trans and use comshipping to cope with their trauma. If they're doing this while doing what you've claimed them to be doing then they'd be hypocritical. I am very lucky to have not experienced that myself, and I've never seen a proshipper harass anybody, but I don't doubt they exist.

"Even if someone is a proshipper, you shouldn't be harassing them; especially if they're a minor" common sense we love to see it <3

"Just stop and seek some help. It's not that hard to seek therapy." but for some it IS HARD. The fact that I can go to therapy and get treated for my anxiety is a privilege that so many do not have. Do NOT act like therapy is so easily accessible. For many, it is not. They said the same thing at the end for adults as well...

We don't blame horror movie directors for people being inspired by their movies to commit murder. Why is it a proshippers fault when someone thinks pedophilia and incest is okay? I know many people who write and create that type of content will explicitly state that they're against it irl.

So, that's just a bunch of yapping... what's my actual thoughts on this?

In my opinion, while this person is very, very brave for sharing their story, and I can only hope that they've managed to recover from everything that happened, I cannot help but disagree. A singular story is not going to convince many people that they're in the wrong, especially when the video was marketed as "advice" and the only thing said was "get help".

In the beginning, they said they didn't know they were a proshipper, which explains why they're even using the term proship in the first place! Proship is "don't like don't read" and being anti harassment. What they're discussing is comshipping, and not every comship is bad. It could literally just be mortal x immortal. Yup, that's a comship!

tldr: i was not convinced. this person was respectful, and I'm very glad, however I do not agree with this opinion. this video seems like it was made for antis rather than existing proshippers, as their advice was lackluster. I rate it a 4/10, and I am still a proshipper.

[dropthedemiurge]

Love for Love's Sake | Things You Didn't Notice #9

(okay it's not an episode number this time i just still have many details to point out oops pls let me go)

I swear. I thought I'd stop mentioning small details because I already wrote like 10 posts on Tumblr translating and explaining all the cultural stuff regarding this show and the obsession is already becoming embarrassing, but I rewatched the last episodes again and I've got tiny. Little. Details. That I can't help but point people to once again. Because damn, the amount of thought put into this show!

(trigger warning: first part talks about suicide and depression, next ones are linguistic and cultural)

The Black Suit & The Sea

I would've asked Koreans I know about the significance of such symbolism but they are celebrating Seollal (New Year) today and I don't wanna ruin the festive mood asking about "how would people dress for suicide" x)

But after watching this scene, I recognized some strong parallels in Korean media depicting depression, suicide and one's decision to end their life. One of it is bridges and jumping (if you don't know what Bridge of Life is, ask me and I'll share, so this post wouldn't become too long) but another one is sea.

My interpretation - Koreans wear black suits to funerals, so if someone is headed to the sea in a black suit, it might mean this is the character's attempt to "have" their own funeral before finally ending their life. Why do I think this combination is somehow significant?

Because I remembered a music video one of K-pop artists I like (Kim Hanbin) made, after he experienced the downfall of career, extreme hate and rejection from the public, and severe depression. His whole album Waterfall tells Hanbin's personal story, dark thoughts and his battle to survive during the time when he was gone for 2 years, but in the music video for this album (illa illa) he is seen emerging from the sea in a black suit – metaphorically regaining his music and, most importantly, desire to live. Watch with lyrics!

If we think, this is how you depict suicidal thoughts/attempt in Korean media (of course, Love for Love's Sake was even more blunt in telling us the meaning), then Myungha wearing black suit wasn't just for the pretty or dramatic picture. More than that, we see him wearing the black suit for the whole last evening – especially when he goes to finally meet his mother.

Which tells us Myungha has already decided to disappear from this world, and was determined to do it on that day, and his mother rejecting him and pretending she doesn't know her son might not have been just the last straw... but it definitely could've been Myungha's last attempt to find anything in his life worth staying for, worth not going through with his plan.

Anyway, what a scary but beautiful symbolism.

Let's talk about something happier! More heartwarming!

Do you remember when we talked about the carefully placed movie posters in previous episodes? I payed more attention to the background this time when in Episode 8 Yeowoon ran to the cinema searching for Myungha in his world. And what an amazing discovery! When Myungha starts existing again and calls Yeowoon, the movie poster behind Yeowoon says "Guardian" (보호자).

And I already said in another post that Myungha in previous episodes admitted himself being Yeowoon's "guardian, protector" in the exact same word. But now this word is shown next to Yeowoon! As Yeowoon is the one who changed the main mission and has now declared himself Myungha's guardian and protector and will do his best to make him (his favourite pereson/bias/blorbo) happy. They have now both become guardians for each other. This. Goddamn. Show.

And I also want to shout out the VFX & Production team for this show – all the visual effects are very down to earth, gentle and not over the top but enhancing the series to the max. Like, maybe you wondered where on the screen does it say "Monday, August 14" and "Saturday, August 12"? Well, as expected, you see it on four monitor screens above the box office – the date, the ongoing movies (yep, still our favourite two fake movies) and available dates etc.

But when Yeowoon and Myungha agree to meet each other in the exact system time, they are facing each other without a barrier, and the screens are now counting down the time until the Game End. Instead of normally showing movies, like in the previous shot, it says "Time remaining: 3 hours, 23 minutes, 15 seconds". It was either done with VFX or practically, but still, the thought of incorporating system messages into the actual background is insane and I'm always happy to discover such details.

I don't know how many of you have motivational stairs at your schools, we definitely didn't have this but it's quite a popular thing in Korea. They put popular and uplifting sayings for students on each stair, sometimes they even quote motivational phrases from idols, like this:

And it's interesting that when system gets broken and Myungha is about to disappear, we see the deep cracks coming through the stairs, we see ruined school BUT at the same time the quotes in the show are so obviously in our focus. And they are already written (see screenshots above) in Korean and English, but I'll still write down: one is saying "Stay hungry, stay foolish" and "If you dream it, you can do it, you will succeed". So, perhaps... motivational quotes from sunbae?

And the last moment isn't heavy on translation but I still want to talk about it because cool Korean culture!xD You see the gang grilling meat on the roof (it's called samgyeopsal and it's very popular to have for gatherings), and then Myungha makes a "ssam" and feeds it to Yeowoon – but Sangwon steals it.

Ssam is a wrap, you grill meat then put it on the salad leaf, add other ingredients (like mushrooms, sauces, garlic, green onions etc, there are many side dishes) and then you wrap it in this sort of salad sack and eat it. It's very tasty and unusual combination. But the thing is! There is no way to make it for someone else and leave it on their plate so if you make a ssam wrap for someone and want to give it to a person, you literally have to feed them (like Myungha does with a very fond smile). This is why it's often seen as a romantic gesture (aka feeding someone from your fork etc) and why it's hilarious that Sangwon steals this ssam from Yeowoon (because he wants and he gets Myungha's affection and he's not above being a brat about it!)

I'm sure you can already sense it anyway without me telling you about romantic/close-friend implications, but I thought you guys might wonder why are the guys fighting over the salad leaf.

Another funny thing – Sangwon mentions "There's a saying, 'Don't scold dogs while they eat'". This is a Korean proverb "밥 먹을 때는 개도 안 때린다" ("You don't hit even a dog when it eats") which means that, no matter how annoying you find someone, no matter how angry you are, you can't scold this person while they are eating. Eating is a very important cultural thing in Asia, of course, so do not have arguments at the dinner :D But it's funny how Sangwon uses old proverbs to be mischievous and steal Myungha's love without consequences xD I adore him

I swear, this gotta be my last post about all the details in Love for Love's Sake. There is one more scene with the mirror and a caption, and I'm very curious if it means something because it was seen twice, during system breaking down scene as well, but it's either in Chinese or Japanese and I can't read it.

Anyway! Hope you enjoyed your everyday magazine, I love reading all your tags and thoughts and comments, and if you want to read all my previous translations and pointed out cultural details in Love for Love's Sake, go read this tag!=)

[saneandrocking]

I need more about dead stan au

To be clear, I'm not sure if this idea has been already exposed and is the theme of someone's fanfic out there. I just like Dead people AU and suffering. With that said, I kinda raw dog this righ here and I hope you like the flavor!

Bits of context: This is the AU where Stan dies while he's sleeping in his car, is basically a casuality of him getting robbed, reacting and getting killed, nothing much in the side of the extraordinary. I don't remeber exactly all of the series details, but I'm rewatching it, I promise! Yes, it's a music fic, cause I'm corny. The lyrics at the right are Standford's and they belong to Come Home by One Republic and the lyrics at the left are Stanley's and they belong to Take me home by Jess Glynne, because this is how I pictured they both feel at this moment in their respective lives. Remember: Stanley's is barely a legal adult whe he's is evicted from his house and he has canonically hold a grudge because of it, and I don't think I need to justify Stanford's anger. They both have made decision that are unmistakenly selfish, and that does not define their whole characters. Kissessss!

Major trigger: Grief. Major Character Death. Curse language.

After the fallout between the Pines twins, Stanford was accepted into another university, less prestigious but with generous resources for his research. Alongside Fiddleford, he was determined to prove to the rest of the scientific community that this world was far from being fully explained by the already known elements of nature. He was more motivated than ever to delve into the obscure side of anomalies. He was going to make sure his name was not forgotten in history. He's ambitious, he has something to prove, and he feels—or has always felt—like he's already running out of time to do it, so he's fighting against the clock.

Well, hello, world

Hope you're listening

Forgive me if I'm young

For speaking out of turn

He's in his dormitory room at the college he attends, and Fiddleford is taking a well-deserved nap after helping him with some more references, while he's still researching one of the maps of anomalies recorded in the last decade. There's a certain frequency in certain areas, not old-fashioned publicity tricks to attract attention, no, it's something more… He feels like he's going in circles, even though he can see there's a pattern there. He squeezes his tired eyes; the low lighting isn't doing him any favors when the telephone (something Fiddleford found in the trash and brought home to fix) rings. It's three after midnight, and he knows nothing good can come of this.

He doesn't have time to say anything after picking up the damn thing ringing like crazy and putting it to his ear.

—Stanford, for God's sake, why aren't you answering this damn thing?! I've used all my coins trying to call the university, but they only gave me your roommate's number— a feminine voice berates him. He waits a few seconds, trying to place that strident voice, but the answer comes quickly, of course. The only woman who would call him in the middle of the night is his mom.

—Mom. I've already told you, I don't have time! I have to study even harder since Stan— He stops himself, angry. Sometimes, remembering his brother is still a mix of anger and resentment that he can't fully name to this day. He sighs.

There is someone I've been missing

—It's not the time for that! It's about your brother.— Her tone is not authoritative, but there's an agony there, a desperation that only a mother can express. A guilt trip is what she does best, he thinks bitterly somehow.

Wrapped up, so consumed by All this hurt If you ask me, don't Know where to start

—Mom, what the actual—why would I care what he does?! He ruined everything for me! I'm going to hang up now, I'm busy, call me later.— Deep down, he already feels bad enough for talking to her like that. His poor mother has tried her best all her life, just as he is doing now. And, vaguely, probably Stan is living like that too, even if his best is in another category of stupidity.

—No, no, please!— Loud sobs interrupt her speech, and he sobers up right there. His mom is not one to cry over just anything. —Ford, he is…

—Mom? What happened? I'm sorry, I lashed out.— He runs his hand through his hair, breathing in and out. —What did he do now?— A long and strained sigh, again. Why does everything have to be a problem with Stan? —Are we talking about Stan or the baby? If it's the first, let me guess.— There's a certain humor in the guessing game; he bets Stan did some nonsense expecting him to clean up after him. Again.

Anger, love, confusion Roads that go nowhere I know that somewhere better

—He's dead, Stanford. Stanley's dead,— she says finally.

—What,— he says, as if in a chokehold, struggling to get the words out.

—I'm going to pass you to your dad, he'll…— His mother chokes on her words and murmurs loudly, —My baby boy Stanley…

—Mom?! What—I can't—!— He's lost. That's all he can say and think. Stanley's lost, not dead, just lost. The idea of death is too much.

I think that they could be

The better half of me

They're in the wrong place

Tryin' to make it right

But I'm tired of justifying

—Hello, son.— The serious and deep tone of his dad doesn't do much to calm the desperate young man; it only intensifies his horror. Stanley's lost. Lost is the word they are searching for.

—Can someone just tell me what I just heard? Stanley is—it can't be, Dad…please, talk to me! He's lost?— Why does he ask something as stupid as this? He knows what he heard.

So I say to you

Come home, come home

'Cause I've been waiting for you

—It's what your mother told you. I have nothing more to say. The funeral— The rest of his words get lost in the moment. All Stanford could hear was the sound of the pen he was holding before it fell onto the table, and the room he shared with his friend became a world of its own. An empty and devastated world, full of silence and sorrow.

Would you take the wheel If I lose control? If I'm lying here Will you take me home?

Stanford can't remember how this conversation ended, how his too-hard-to-impress father explained with a shaky and strained voice when the event was going to be. He didn't even have the money to buy something formal to wear to his brother's burial. Would he be buried in his father's suit? He can only describe the slow and painful realization that came with the equally painful heartache: his twin was dead. If there was such a thing as another half of someone, his was dead and about to be buried six feet under within the next hours.

Could you take care Of a broken soul? Will you hold me now? Oh, will you take me home?

The one and only Stanley Pines died far from home, probably alone, while Ford was studying the anomalies of the world, trying to once in a lifetime feel like he belonged, only to discover that nothing could have been more important than his blood—but suddenly, that was a too-late realization.

Fiddleford stared at him as he fell to his knees, too stunned to utter a word, too broken to make sense. He later woke from this numbness holding a cup of coffee in his hands, tears rolling down his cheeks. Stan was dead, and he was alive, and now this is what he'll remember for the rest of his conscious life. This, and the broken look on his mother's face when she saw him at her door on the same day her other son died—his father did not have the strength to look directly at him.

And right now there's a war between the vanities

But all I see is you and me

And the fight for you is all I've ever known

So come home

At the funeral, the only ones present were him and his mother. Despite all the emotions (too overwhelming for Ford to watch, by the way), his father outright refused to see Stanley in the coffin. —I can't take it. I'm not man enough to watch it. Take care of your mother.

He prayed that day, to a God he wasn't sure could even hear him. The guilt was louder than him, but he tried anyway. With all the conflicting feelings in his chest, between his anger and profound grief, he did what he could with all of that, standing side by side with the cold body of his deceased brother. The mirror image of himself lying down, more neat than ever.

The world ain't half as bad

As they paint it to be

If all the sons, all the daughters

Stopped to take it in

Well, hopefully, the hate subsides

And the love can begin

It might start now, yeah

Well, maybe I'm just dreaming out loud

—I will fix this, Stan. I swear. Or I'll see you after giving up. Either way: wait for me one more time.

Everything I can't be

Is everything you should be

And that's why I need you here

[vidavalor]

Since reading your awesome meta, I've rewatched and realized just how many jokes about hidden language there is in it! I was wondering what your favorite is?

Hi there. 💕 Thanks for reading. I'm glad you have been enjoying the posts. *slices you up some apple pie* Very fun question! There are a ton of them and I love them all, tbh, but there's a couple that I thought were especially clever.

My hands-down favorite meta-joke about the hidden language is the "we must know what they are saying" lip-reading bit with the Nazi Zombie Flesheaters around Aziraphale's magic words. It's some of the most brilliant writing in the series and is, through Aziraphale's magic words, using the cant of Good Omens that is based on the same etymology-based figurative language Pratchett used in Discworld to make a meta-joke about that very hidden language... all wrapped in a minisode about the big difference between being able to hear and regurgitate words and being able to comprehend them enough to understand what they mean.

The Nazis Zombie Flesheaters? They're flesheaters because they eat the dead but they're zombies because they believe that knowing the words that are said is the same thing as being able to comprehend what was said. They trail a magician to a magic shop and watch him perform a coin trick but still think that "bananafish, gorilla..." is nonsense. They have the correct words but they are not curious, imaginative enough people to be able to understand those words. They cannot figure out that "bananafish, gorilla..." is Aziraphale's version of "abracadabra", which is something that is not exactly a big leap... 😂

... just like how hidden language existing in a pun-laden story with a spycraft kink that is about queer "enemies" in love is not exactly a wild jump to make... especially when at least two scenes in the series literally do not make sense without taking into consideration hidden language ("no nightingales" and Aziraphale's use of "dangerous" in 1967).

That The Blitz, Part 2 then throws all that down with Greta, Glozier and Harmony to also use it as suggestion for looking at the most significant bit of lip-reading necessary in the series-- what Aziraphale mouths to Crowley on stage? And how the show gives us the meaning of those words-- "trust me"-- but then asks the audience to figure out what it is that Aziraphale is actually mouthing because it doesn't take a Mr. Harmony to realize that his mouth is moving too much and in the wrong ways for it to literally be the words "trust me"? All this wrapped up in a chapter in this story that is especially romantic and anti-fascist? *chef's kiss*

I'm also very partial to Shakespeare's "could you, in your role as the audience, give us more to work with" with the meta joke being that we, the audience of the show, can rather easily give them all more to work with than the audience-within-the-show-at-that-moment--Crowley and Aziraphale-- who talk through the whole Hamlet performance and are a terrible audience. 😂 Shakespeare is doing an Elizabethan version of the M&Ms telling them to please silence their phones and watch the movie but the meta is really that the story is built for deep diving and doing so will yield results.

The 1601 scene with Shakespeare's advice also is positioned perfectly in the series because not only can you garner a fuckton by giving them more to work with in the 1601 scene itself but the one that immediately follows it is 1793-- a scene that is built around helping the audience to understand bits of the 2008 minisode and basically exists for that purpose, as was the central idea of the first hidden language post I did.

This bit below is also in the same meta vein as that Shakespeare joke and was really clever:

Michael trying not to lose it being all "WHAT DID THEY SAAAAAY?!" had me on the floor. 😂 Uriel's *getting a migraine* response is basically my face the (thankfully few) times I've encountered a Nazi Zombie Flesheater who tries to tell me that there couldn't possibly be anything more to the words in the most word-nerdy story in existence. 😏

Michael is the show's blunt instrument that impatiently-- and completely unintentionally-- is constantly happening upon the core of what's going on and the big things of note in the story, all without realizing that they are doing so. They help us see what's important through what they don't understand or what they're failing to see they should be focusing on. You can understand a ton of the story just by seeing that Michael is usually *nearly there* to what's going on but just shy of it and noting what it is that Michael is missing.

So, of course it's Michael that is having a breakdown over Crowley and Aziraphale's words... even if they are too clueless to realize what we can, which is that the words on the surface are, often, just the start of what is being said. Michael very often asks *exactly the right questions*... but for the completely wrong reasons. In doing so, they are pointing out what is important for us to note but they are not figuring out that those things are important or why themselves.

The story is saying with all of these hidden language meta jokes that if you want to understand Crowley and Aziraphale? It helps if you pay attention to the very specific words that they're choosing to say. Even if you don't hear every single word of coded speech when they are speaking that way, if you know it exists, you'll eventually start to pick up enough to get the general idea... but if you do what they've asked us to do via Shakespeare in S1 and put a little more effort into it? You'll be pulling some stuff together the way that the Nazi Zombie Flesheaters fail to do. You'll get the general idea without doing so but you'll crack open the whole story on a deeper level if you give them a little more to work with, as many of us have been doing already.

[kidgeygirl]

It's been many, many years since I've written anything for Voltron, but here I am. Despite many complaints, my heart has always been stuck on our favorite red and green duo. Lately, I've been back in the fandom, and now that I've matured into early adulthood, I've decided to try and find the perfect way to write them post war, but realistically (or at least, semi-realistically).

I honestly don't know how many people are still in this fandom, but I will regret not sharing my thoughts (internal storyline that has slowly been building up since forever.) so here I am. :)

Anyways, if anyone reading this is interested, here are some things to know.

I'm a slow updater, and I very much hate most of the stuff I write. So please bear with me as I navigate this story to how I envision it.

This is not my main account, this is strictly a Voltron/Kidge account, so I'm not expecting a lot of traction— however, at times this might cause a hit at my confidence, despite knowing that fact. So again, bear with me.

I'm a compliment girlie. If you read this story once it's out and like it, please let me know. It will help me in the long run and encourage me to keep this going.

I don't remember everything about Voltron as I haven't watched it fully in years, so I'm going to rewatch all of it before writing. (Don't worry, I don't have too much of a busy life right now besides babysitting.) So this story won't be right away, but I will be writing down scenes/passages while writing. I might even create a few one shots, behind the scenes stuff you won't see in the story, to give you some extra Kidge.

SOME THINGS ABOUT THE STORY—

Shadows of Azar ~ When Keith and the Blades, a group of elite warriors, reach out to Katie for assistance on a critical mission, they discover that their past bond is far from forgotten. As they face danger, betrayal, and the weight of the universe, their connection reignites into something even more profound. Secrets unravel, alliances shift, and the line between duty and personal loyalty blurs. Amidst the chaos of battle, Keith and Katie find themselves drawn together, their shared history woven into every decision they make.

But this isn't just about saving the universe; it's about saving each other. As they navigate treacherous terrain, they confront their own vulnerabilities, fears, and desires. Keith, haunted by his past, seeks redemption. Katie, brilliant and determined, grapples with the sacrifices she's made for her family. Together, they forge a new path—one that transcends duty and becomes a testament to resilience, trust, and love.

As the Blades' mission unfolds, Keith and Katie must confront not only external threats but also the complexities of their emotions.

After the battle is won, will they embrace this newfound connection and ignite a brilliant flame together, or will it consume them—reducing everything they’ve cherished to ashes?

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Ages— Keith 25, Katie (Pidge) 21

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Here, we find that Pidge goes more by 'Katie'. Only the ones closest to her call her Pidge. (Family, Paladins.)

———

Allura is alive!!

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Ships— Kidge. Allurance. Hunk&Shay. Shiro and Curtis. Matt and V.

———

This is a slow burn!! (In a way). It's not a large storyline, as I'm not planning to be a whole book. Kind of more of a mini series. (I haven't decided how many chapters, so maybe it'll change.)

This is told in Third POV, but you can tell when it switches its focus from Katie and Keith.

———

(I will be posting a playlist.)

[youmakethelight]

I actually might delete this blog tbh. Not that anyone asked.

I made this side blog 2 months ago bc I loved season 10 of TWD so much that I got really invested in rewatching the whole series for Carol and Daryl, and I wanted to write my thoughts somewhere instead of continuing to annoy my friends who never watched the show. But all my thoughts then were really positive and fun and brought me joy. And now, ever since I've seen the reality of the turn things took in real life, it's just so depressing.

The way Carol and Melissa McBride are treated makes me feel truly fucking horrible. And I've tried to channel that into activism and using my voice in solidarity, but I'm finding it more and more depressing honestly. Most of the voices that made me feel stronger have disappeared, and I'm starting to feel hopeless. And that's especially when I realise how much shit already went on in the past few years before I was here.

It's been a whirlwind few months for me bc I stopped watching TWD years ago and just caught up and binge watched from season 9. After I finished, I found out about everything the fandom, Melissa, and Angela Kang went through regarding the spin-off. Knowing that even after that, we got Melissa back, gave me hope. But seeing how much AMC has ignored other issues and fans' voices makes me feel disheartened. It feels a bit like I'm exerting emotional energy only to be shouting into a void.

It feels wrong to try to move on and leave because the issues remain, and Melissa McBride, in particular, needs and deserves support. But I honestly don't know what I'm doing here anymore.

A week or so ago, I signed up to a website to write fan reactions, reviews etc. about tboc because I thought that could have some positive impact. So, maybe I'll do that... but to be honest, I don't think I've got it in me anymore. I guess I just feel like I'm doing significantly more emotional labour than will have positive impact.

Even when I try to consume feminist progressive media instead, I just keep being reminded of how shit it is that AMC can't do the same for Melissa and her fans, and anybody who works on or watches the show who isn't a straight cis white man. So, then I get upset by a thought I have and go on here or twitter to try to do something positive about it, but it feels sort of pointless. So, now I'm at a point where this blog doesn't bring me joy, and I don't feel like it helps anyone, so I just don't think it's worth it anymore?

I'm literally so bad at giving up on things, so there's a decent chance I won't leave. But to be honest, I want to. I'm tired.